sirius: this is harry, my sole reason for living besides my hot werewolf boyfriend
mcgonagall: this is hermione, she’s a smarter than all of you combined
snape: this is draco and he has rabies
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ellie: hey joel
ellie: hey asshole
ellie: hey asshole!
ellie: *sigh* hey dad-
joel: did you just call me dad?
ellie: did you just respond to me calling you dad, dad?
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ellie: if i blended red bull, monster, and hot cheetos into an energy smoothie would it kill me
tommy: only if you die
ellie: you're so smart tommy
joel: ELLIE NO-
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Hermione: Why are Harry and Draco sitting with their backs to each other?
Ron: They had a fight.
Hermione: Then why are they holding hands?
Ron: They get sad when they fight.
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ellie: i was made for this shit nothing catches me off guard
dina: *smiles*
ellie: runs into a wall
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joel: look me in the eyes and tell me you don't have feelings for dina
ellie: *staring at dina from across the room* i don't have feelings for her
joel: you're not even looking at me
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*after accidentally losing eleven*
dustin: mike calm down, we made a map of where she might be
mike: this is a map of the entire world
dustin: yeah we have no idea where she is
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joel: i've noticed you often use humor to deflect trauma
ellie: thanks!
joel: ..that wasn't a compliment
ellie: what i'm hearing is you think i'm funny
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joel: i cant tell if this is water or nail polish remover-
ellie: *shots it*
ellie: it's nail polish remover
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