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gargiyadav · 3 days

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All the times I have said no to you are all the times I have said yes to myself.

With all the screaming and crying comes a perfect silent glory of self-realisation.

That makes you realise your identity as a god’s child. So, then why should I kneel and pray to you for forgiveness when I can look in the mirror and see god’s plan written all over my face in big bold letters?

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gargiyadav · 17 days

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Isn't it nice to have nothing and still have a heart that's sprouting lillies and marigolds from all its corners?

As if all the rain of the world is set to fall upon it and make every inch of my little heart flourish and prosper.

What greater blessing can there be, if one's heart is a garden full of life, even if the outside world is a perfect apocalyptic mess, always ready to make you fall down on your knees, like a helpless victim of war.

©gargi

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gargiyadav · 1 month

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What do I do with my grief?

I know not how to handle my grief.

Where to put it, how to tame its insurmountable spirit.

How to sing it lullabies for my voice always crackles up.

How to call out its name without fearing the worst.

What to say to it when it comes running to me like a child.

What to whisper in its ears so as to soothe its wild nerves.

I know I can very well discard it, get rid of it forever, but if that would have been possible, i would not be writing this poem today titled, "what do I do with my grief"

I know not how it's so capable of being so alive when I, the harbourer, has died so many times.

Isn't this grief that I carry in my belly, my child?

If that's the case, it should have died long time ago.

But here it is, chuckling and stretching its limbs, looking at me with its endearing eyes, waiting to be picked up with utmost affection.

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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From a distance, you can believe in perfection all you want.

Because there's no risk of getting touched by any reverberations.

You're far far away and you're safe from all the dangers.

Because from a distance, your eyes will only catch the glimmer, not the grime.

But when it comes closer, you have no choice but to behold the truth in all its sham and glory.

You are then supposed to digest it all, either by keeping it on your tongue and swallowing it whole, or by giving it time and effort.

One way or the other, you got to do the eating.

As the distance reduces, your idea of perfection slowly dwindles away.

What takes the place of perfection in turn, is truth.

And no matter how hard truths have been on you, they have always brought you closer to God.

And that makes it worth it.

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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sometimes just being is enough. being nobody else but oneself. while the noise of the world might become deafening and you may be having trouble sleeping at night,

the one thing that will bring you instant peace is to drop all your layers and faces, unpeel the facade, and let your self breathe.

The noise of the world will slowly fade away, once you start paying heed to the voice within. Trust me, it knows all.

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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Whenever I have to choose between sanity and chaos, i, out of righteousness, reach out for the former.

But somehow along the way the straight line seems to become a messy roadway that deceives as a straight path but is actually a curvaceous bumpy ride.

And somehow i always end up arriving at the wrong place.

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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You don't need to go to the Ganges, just take a dip in the stream of present, and see the water turning holy.

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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What I truly want is to unravel the mystical joys of now.

To devour it. To relish it with my fingers.

#artists on tumblr #literature #poets on tumblr #writers #prose #poetry #writing #writeblr #dark academia #my writing

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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When I take a seat in the present, it feels like I become the most loved child of God.

As if he vests in me the superpower of alertness and allows me to have a taste of real joy.

#artists on tumblr #literature #poets on tumblr #writers #prose #poetry #writing #writeblr #dark academia #my writing

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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I think I want to flourish in the tomorrows.

The tomorrows that occupy each and every corner of my mind.

But I can't be more wrong.

When I sit down with all my collected treasures and turmoil, and look through the beautifully tragic state of my mind,

I understand what I want.

I don't want to do anything with these caricatures of tomorrows to be honest.

Let them hang on the walls of my mind and let them do their business, of adornment, of pleasure, of pain, and such.

But I don't think I want to fidget with them any longer.

Ask them for grander things, or at least, for mercy.

I don't want to be in a constant tussle with them because of my controlling tendencies.

What the cells of my being truly want is to be watered with the goodness of immersive experiences.

To find my roots in the ground of the present and let them lengthen fearlessly as if the whole Earth is mine.

What I truly want, is to wake up every morning and soak in the warm morning sun the first thing.

To hear the chirps and identify the birds that circle my house.

To learn how to look at the sky; they always look different every single day. And so do the little leafy creatures outside my home, each with a story to tell, a hymn to hum along with the spring breeze. Just waiting to be heard.

To not just look forward to the daily cup of coffee but also to the brewing process.

When I take a seat in the present, it feels like I become the most loved child of God.

As if he vests in me the superpower of alertness and blesses me with the ability to taste pure joy.

You don't need to go to the Ganges, just take a dip in the stream of present, and see the water turning holy.

What I truly want is to unravel the mystical joys of now.

To devour it. To relish it with my fingers.

Meanwhile, the tomorrows will be taken care of.

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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To savor an orange is to live fully.

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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That in-between moment of neutrality, that middle point of oscillation.

I have never known peace better than those times.

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gargiyadav · 2 months

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From a distance, you call out my name.

With an everbearing expression of untarnished love.

From a distance, I appear gold to you

Shimmering from just the right places.

It doesn’t matter as long as the impurities are hidden deep inside somewhere.

From a distance, I appear to you like all your dreamy ideas about a woman manifested into perfection.

I hope you don’t bump into anyone who has seen me up close and personal.

From a distance, you only see the front I choose to show you.

The side I am not too afraid to reveal.

The side I can bear somehow.

The way you call out my name makes me feel important.

Yet that’s the thing with importance, it robs you of everlasting joy.

It robs you of the peace that comes when you have nothing.

That in-between moment of neutrality, that middle point of oscillation.

I have never known peace better than those times.

Yet you make me feel something.

As the history goes, it is a dangerous thing to feel something.

To feel something and to let your heart give in to the soft murmurs, all over again.

It deceives your heart into believing in grandeur, excellence and perfection like a child.

For a child, the world is either black or white. Goodness is only 24k pure. And malice is complete impurity.

I wonder if that’s what the heart is like. Never fully grown. Always a child. Stubborn and hopeful, no matter what.

And so you end up falling for someone who has only seen you from afar.

From a distance, at least, both of us can believe in perfection without any worry and choose not to see the imperfect.

Because no matter how much you squint, your eyes will only catch the glimmer, not the grime.

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gargiyadav · 3 months

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Ever since the beginning of time,

We have looked in the face of love with big thirsty eyes

and a quest for some deeper fulfilment

and we have relentlessly sung its praises

We have bottled it safely and kept it in guarded territories so that only we can have access to its splendour

not knowing that it’s not exclusive and we are not special

It easily takes centre stage in each one of our lives and becomes the cause and the conflict.

After a point, it becomes the god too.

We cannot help but join our hands in front of it, in reverence or out of helplessness.

knowing well enough it’s exactly the cause of our doom every single time, we still offer it garlands of affection and tireless striving.

And yet…

Yet it’s something you cannot not have your eyes upon.

It is the sunlight that illuminates unreachable corners of you.

It carries the radiance of a diya that removes darkness from the darkest of places

If you ignore it, it occupies and claims places in your heart you never knew existed.

And from then on, extracting it out of your body would be like extracting life itself.

Even though love demands every bit of you and claims everything you call yours, it is all worth it.

It wakes you from within and it does something that only gentler, softer, gracious things like love itself can do.

On the tombstone of every unfulfilled, wretched love, you will find a sweet perfume lingering about.

The perfume of devotion

that cannot be separated from their carriers even after death.

Even their remains are not bereft of it.

This perfume is enough to make every passerby stop by and remember that love is the biggest greatness that there can ever be.

It may or may not fructify in one little lifetime.

But its remnants and residues are holy.

And just with a little sniff, these passersby will know that wherever these lovers are,

It is surely a good place to be.

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gargiyadav · 3 months

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Instead of clinging too much to the idea of becoming, receiving, arriving, achieving,

Let’s focus on growing, learning, experiencing, and realising.

So that the destination doesn’t become the only good part of your voyage.

#artists on tumblr #literature #poets on tumblr #writers #poetry #writing #prose #writeblr #dark academia #my writing #women writers #words words words #wordpress #spilled words #words #dark acadamia aesthetic #positivity

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gargiyadav · 3 months

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To be able to build something,

One must first have the desire.

They say that desire is something that destroys everything eventually.

It doesn’t leave you either. Origin and end, are all eaten alive.

Its fire burns with a ravaging force and it takes everything that comes near it, with no biases for good or bad, just or unjust, old or new, devout or undevout. Nothing is spared.

But then without it, building anything would be impossible.

And we won’t have these tall-standing structures that bring you a little closer to the sky.

Or these bridges that compensate for the gaps too large.

Certainly, desire is what brings about great things. But it’s also something that keeps hope from dying.

If there wasn’t a fire in the pit of my belly, I would never want to stand again and dare to look up at the sky.

The same ravaging fire keeps you warm when everything around is frozen.

Without these desires, the flesh and bones won’t be the same. And the blood and sweat would be meaningless.

And that’s what makes them so valuable.

For the greater good, your desires must be harboured so that one day, the fruits of it benefit the passerbies.

#artists on tumblr #literature #poets on tumblr #writers #prose #poetry #writing #writeblr #dark academia #my writing

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gargiyadav · 3 months

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Needed this.

omg the wildness in your eyes when you stand up on your feet after sitting still for 2 hours on the bathroom floor tells a lot about your voracious heart?? your hunger for life??

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