ursoaldo
UrsusAldo
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The Life of Batchelor 735
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Proud Self Report
*Among Us alarm*
Dick: Jason’s down!
Damian: It was me.
Dick: Damian, you’re supposed to be hiding that you’re the imposter.
Steph: And no, you’re not. I am!
Damian: Oh, in the game. I thought you meant real life. I took him out for real.
Dick: What?!
Steph: So that’s why he was just standing there and let me kill him.
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Of course
Stephanie: There’s too many movies with good looking heroes and ugly looking villains. It pretty much teaches kids that-
Dick: The only thing that matters is being the prettiest.
Stephanie: Exactly!
Dick: *looking at himself with phone camera* Hm? Sorry, I was thinking out loud.
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theres a popular brand in canada called no name brand and it manufactures everything you can imagine in a grocery store and it kind of makes me feel like im in a world no one bothered to do much world building for
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Dude, same
Damian: How are you an adult?
Tim: Sheer luck.
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Mace Windu can do whatever he likes with whatever attitude he wants actually cause he's in charge of wrangling a group of superpowered, psychic adreneline junkies who like to have heated academic debates using laser swords in their spare time. and then. AND THEN!! he has to regularly talk with politicians too??? disgusting. awful. my man is so tired.
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A family doesn't need to be a husband a wife and two kids, sometimes it's a lesbian terrorist couple, a flying brick from Mississippi, a Catholic German and a Cajun thief. And I think that's beautiful
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How the Bat kids respond to being told “You’re perfect just the way you are”
Dick: Oh my god, thank you! I mean, I know, but still, thank you!
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Jason: At least SOMEONE thinks so! BRUCE!
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Tim: Not until I figure out how to function normally on an all coffee diet with no sleep.
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Stephanie: Shut up or I’ll hug you.
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Damian: And you’re stating a fact. Is that all? Are we done here?
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Cassandra: Fine, what do you want?
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Duke: No, you’re perfect just the way you are.
Alternatively
Everyone: Duke, it’s for you!
#incorrect batfamily quotes#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#stephanie brown#damian wayne#cassandra cain#duke thomas
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Just checking
Bruce: Selina, what are you doing here?
Selina: …I live here?
Bruce: But this is my house.
Selina:
Bruce:
Selina: Bruce.
Bruce: Yes?
Selina: WE’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR TWO YEARS!
Bruce: *internally* Yay! Still not a dream!
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Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people you no longer want in your life.
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How much time ya got?
Jason: Bruce, come on, when have I ever done something to merit disapproval?
Everyone: *cacophany of different listings of incidents*
Jason: *throws something made of glass* Who the fuck asked all of you?!
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Was…was that a Robots reference?!
Good parenting
[Jason and Damian walking out the manors front door, carrying a bazooka, a katana, and some grenades]
Damian: Goodbye, Father
Bruce: Bye boys, good luck with your dastardly plans
Jason: We won't need any luck
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Wrong Earth
Batman: I’m being called to the Watchtower, so while I’m away, Spoiler is in charge during patrol.
Nightwing: What?!
Red Robin: Are you insane?! No offense, Spoiler.
Spoiler: No, I’m with you.
Robin(Damian) and Orphan: But I’m right here!
Oracle: I’m calling Arkham to set up an appointment.
Red Hood: Hey, sounds good. Best of luck. *starts walking away*
Batman: And where do you think you’re going?
Red Hood: Oh, sorry. I gotta get back to Earth Prime before the Stargate closes.
Batman: Get back here, Hood.
Red Hood: Batman, the chevrons are locking!
#incorrect batfamily quotes#batman#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#red robin#tim drake#nightwing#dick grayson#dc oracle#barbara gordon#jason todd#red hood#robin#dc robin#damian wayne#cassandra cain#dc orphan#i’m so late on this#recovering from something#slipped my mind
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Ah love
Selina: That was amazing, Bruce.
Bruce: *bandaging scratches* Well at least one of us enjoyed ourselves.
Selina: Excuse me?!
Bruce: I’msorry!Ican’tturnitoff!I’mbroken. Please fix me.
Selina: Wow. That was…almost kind of romantic.
Bruce’s Left Brain: Dude! What are you doing?! We’re blowing this!
Bruce’s Right Brain: Well what were we supposed to say?! We don’t even know what made her like us in the first place!
Bruce’s LB: Fine, fine. Just calm down. The hard part’s over. As long as she doesn’t throw us any curveballs, I think we’ll be okay.
Selina: Soooo, what should we do now?
Bruce’s LB: Fuck!
Bruce’s RB: What the hell is she talking about?! What comes after sex?!
Bruce’s LB: I don’t know! Me and Talia went right to sleep afterward and she was always gone when I woke up.
Bruce’s RB: Well she asked us a question, sir! We have to say something!
Bruce’s LB: Look, just...Just. Say. Anything.
Bruce’s RB: Anything?
Bruce’s LB: Anything! Just…say it with confidence.
Bruce’s RB: Well, alright. Here goes nothing.
Bruce: We should get married.
Bruce’s LB: NOOOOOO!
Bruce’s RB: What?! You said say anything!
Bruce’s LB: Anything except THAT, obviously!
Bruce’s RB: I’m sorry! I’ve never dealt with pressure like this before!
Bruce’s LB: *sigh* You know what? It’s fine. We’ll just…play it off as a joke. No harm done.
Selina: 🥹 Yes! Let’s do it!
Bruce’s LB: You fool! You’ve doomed us all!
Bruce’s RB: Hey, she seems pretty happy about it. Maybe she knows something we don’t!
Selina’s LB: Bitch, why the fuck did you say yes?!
Selina’s RB: I DON’T KNOOOOOOOOOOW!
#incorrect batfamily quotes#bruce wayne#selina kyle#batman#catwoman#batman x catwoman#bruce x selina
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My dad has been showing me his favorite movies as a kid.
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Tell me about it
Jason/Tim/Damian: Interventions for me are my least favorite kind of intervention
Tim: At least there’s coffee at yours!
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It costs 0$ to Repost a Black disabled queer small business! It could lead to my next sale.
I sell pins, stickers, compression gloves, artist gloves, binders, hip braces, wrist braces, compression socks & more!
Store detailed below!
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