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#you know what?? i want them to have a fight! maybe even breakup and get back together!!
pinkeoni · 9 months
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Can you talk more about the issues with jancy and why they need to do a lot of talking if it is to be endgame?
Anon, are you giving me permission to once again complain about Jancy’s unresolved problems?
I always took issue with how the fandom tended to view their relationship through these rose-tinted glasses, especially post vol. 2, when there were some major issues regarding their relationship that was yet to be addressed.
I think Jancy is in love and could believably be endgame, but GOD if these issues get brushed off simply and they stay together without these conflicts being resolved, it would be bad writing.
The two main conflicts between Jonathan and Nancy are the same thing that kept them seperated: Jonathan’s daddy issues and Nancy putting her career ambitions before the people she loves.
Jonathan can’t bring himself to do what he wants out of fear of becoming like his father. Moreover, but Emerson isn’t even the college that Jonathan wants to go to, which isn’t even counting the NYU thing from season one. He plainly states that he doesn’t want to go Emerson to Argyle!
For Nancy, I’m in no way trying to say “working woman bad” but Nancy does need to find a balance between her ambitions and her loved ones. In season two, Nancy uses investigative journalism to bring justice for Barb, but in season three her passion for it escalates to where it blinds her and she doesn’t consider Jonathan’s feelings (“Here comes the Oliver Twist routine”) and in season four she doesn’t visit him despite clearly wanting to because she dedicates herself to the school paper instead. I’m not saying Nancy shouldn’t be career driven, but I don’t think it would be very “empowering-girl-boss” if she closed herself off from everyone she loves for it.
For Nancy we do see a bit of a change from her when she opens up a little and lets Robin in. With Robin, Nancy learns to lean on others for help and allow them to influence her work. It doesn’t, however, resolve her miscommunication with Jonathan, and unfortunately Jonathan’s personal issues have not yet seen a resolution either. And at the end of the season, Jonathan has still not told Nancy about not applying to Emerson, and Nancy did still have that whole wierd thing with Steve this season.
My ideal ending for these two would be for them to stay together but go to seperate colleges, although only time will tell for that. I do believe that these two can work out their problems given how much we are shown that they do genuinely care about each other and want to put in the work, but oh god, if all of that goofiness happened last season and it’s just brushed off without even a conversation? That would just be bad writing. What was it all for then?
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pshaven · 21 days
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NUDES I CAN'T SEND park sunghoon ౨ৎ
synopsis! after a drunken night of events you can’t remember, you find a park sunghoon at your front door with apologies you thought you’d never hear.
wc! 6.4k+
cw! angst (sawry..), toxic!sunghoon kinda, ex!sunghoon, jealous/possessive!heeseung makes an appearance, reader sent nudes while drunk, dom!sunghoon, he's handsy, dirty talk, pnv, oral (f!receiving), riding, no protection mentioned, sunghoon calls reader baby, sweet girl, multiple orgasms, not really much aftercare mentioned, ningning from aespa mentioned
previous > next > break the skin mlst
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as your best friend, jay’s approval is almost as meaningful as your own parents.
so during a night out at your guys’ usual hanging pub with a couple of your friends, including your new boyfriend of two weeks, sunghoon, jay gave you an encouraging smile, “i’m glad you two found each other.” 
right then and there— you knew it. sunghoon was your one and only, it would be detrimental to lose him, especially after jay expressed his happiness towards the two of you. 
and one of the biggest bonuses, unlike your past relationships, sunghoon doesn’t care about you being best friends with jay. he’s understanding, takes his time to know jay as well, disregarding your close friendship with another man. 
you always saw yourself as a lucky girl to have sunghoon by your side. sunghoon who stayed up late with you, helping you study for a class he’s never even took. sunghoon who found you sitting in the corner of the library alone, your textbook papers wrinkled and dried up tear stains on them. sunghoon who has the most handsomest smile you’ve ever laid eyes upon in your whole life… 
to think you lost someone that special makes your heart ache.
jay struggled badly with trying to keep your spirits up, and all your girl friends did their best to drag you out of your room to do even the most miniscule things in effort to get your mind off the breakup. 
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two weeks turned into two months, then one year, then two years. it seemed as if nothing has changed. you’re still happy, right? sunghoon still makes you happy. but you’ve never had to question if you made him happy. you suppose— that was perhaps the first crack in your relationship. 
then, everything felt so.. stagnant. almost boring, having done everything together until there was nothing else left to do. you think both of you were starting to feel the same way. perhaps the two of you were at different stages in life.
“what do you wanna eat for dinner?” you asked, sitting on the couch with your legs crossed as the both of you channel surf. 
“i’m fine with anything, you can pick.” 
you shrugged, “i’m okay with anything too.”
you didn’t think it’d be the final crack until everything shattered. 
his brows furrowed, and you could almost see the agitated vein on his temple. “you’re okay with everything, as always,” he says, tone laced in sarcasm as a scoff left his lips.
you felt your eye twitch. “what was that?” 
for a long time, and maybe even the first, a big fight broke out between the two of you. it quickly became a shouting match, fueled with hurtful words that neither of you truly meant. 
“aren’t you tired?!” sunghoon sighed exasperatedly, running a frustrated hand through his messy hair. you felt tears welling up in your eyes— it’d been so long since you last cried ever since you met sunghoon. you’d never think he’d be the reason for your tears. 
“no? what are you talking about?!” you argued back, but your voice was starting to lose its fight. “i-i don’t know what to do.. are you unhappy with me?” 
sunghoon couldn’t look at you. 
“i…” 
his hesitance said it all. 
“you should have said something sooner… th-then maybe we wouldn’t be here right now,” you mumble quietly, chewing on the inside of your cheek to will your tears from falling. 
“but i want to be with you still!” sunghoon pleaded, quickly rushing to you as he placed his hands on your shoulders, his grip tight as if you were about to leave. 
you don’t have the willpower to leave. 
“you want to be with me… but you aren’t happy with me,” you frowned deeply, your head hanging down as you stare at your feet. 
“i-i’ll try… i want to be happy with you. i need t-to…” he choked on his own words, his mind reeling for the right words to say. 
you sniffle, and sunghoon feels his entire world shatter to pieces when you rest your forehead against his chest. “you should go…” 
you’re joking— he thought. no tears were daring to roll down your cheeks, and that he knows is when you’re putting up an act. 
he put up a fight. you don’t actually want him to leave, do you? but then you’re balling your fists up against his shirt, tugging on the fabric. “i don’t wanna— i can’t.. be the reason why you hold yourself back.”
so then what? what was he supposed to do when you seem so desperate to let him go, let him walk out your life? it hurt like a bitch, and the reason for your tears being because of him made it a little easier to leave. in his thought process, he thought you’d stop crying because of him. then maybe, in a week or two, you’ll call him again.
but that call never came.
sunghoon waited months for your contact to pop up on his screen, but by the third month, he unwillingly had to let you go. he was angry– sure… maybe it did sound like a real breakup but he thought it was just a hiccup, a bump in the road, like what most couples have. but it wasn’t, and he was frustrated that you seemed to let him go so easily. 
he couldn’t.
sneaky texts to your close friends, even jay, to ask how you’re doing. if you’re doing okay. the only one who was really honest with him, the only one who didn’t tell sunghoon that you’re “doing just fine, don’t worry about it” was jay. jay, albeit hesitant to do this behind your back, he knew how much sunghoon meant to you, and seeing your defeated expression everyday wasn’t exactly ideal for him. 
“she’s not doing well… can barely get her out the house,” jay had said over the phone to sunghoon, the former letting out a sigh. sunghoon said nothing back. “you.. you should probably move on too. this isn’t healthy for the both of you.” 
sunghoon agreed, then quickly hung up. 
like hell he would be able to move on from you.
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“ning? ningninggg~” you slur, eyes squinted to look for your friend, clumsily tripping over some other drunken people’s feet. you’re mindlessly searching around the cramped living room for her until you spot the brunette out in the crowd. 
“y/n, where have you been! i’ve been asking everyone where you went,” she frowns with worry, rubbing your arms that are warm already from the alcohol in your bloodstream. you give her a cheeky smile, leaning your head on her chest as you sway her around drunkenly. 
she laughs at you warmly, playing with your hair as she lets you do whatever for a few minutes until you jump suddenly, grabbing both her shoulders, “i should text him.” 
her brow only raises, “text…who?” her voice slightly teasing, knowing your past nights with a certain roommate and classmate. but then her eyes widen when she realizes who you really meant, and she shakes her head immediately. “no! absolutely not, y/n! give me that fucking phone right now, i swear to god,” she yells at you, but you’re already bolting away from her with your phone in the air. 
ningning chases you down, gaining stares but you’re too out of it to care and ningning is too busy running after you. you fall over a group of randoms sitting on the couch, and ningning is left to apologize for you. “i am… so, so sorry…” she mumbles, quickly snatching your phone as you recover and putting it in her pocket. “my dear y/n, please get up so we can just go back home. i don’t know if i can bare anymore embarrassment.” 
safe to say, she dragged you back into her home and forced you to drink water despite your lazy denial of i don’t need it! and i’m totally okay! 
you shift around in the bed, a groan escaping your lips when you feel someone tugging at your arm. “y/n,” ningning shout-whispers, knowing your hangover is probably killing you. you groan again in response, shaking your head and mumbling something around the lines of “five more minutes, mom”. 
she rolls her eyes at you, sighing before placing the glass of water down on her bedside table. “i gotta get to class. please drink this water and gatorade here before you leave. i better come back to no throw up on my carpet.” she tells you, albeit knowing that you’re only half listening and are going to forget everything she said ten minutes later. 
you do get up eventually.. two hours later. you drink the water and take the gatorade with you before cleaning up her room that ningning so graciously let you sleep in. you take an uber back to your shared apartment with heeseung, trudging lazily up the stairs and hallway of your complex. you insert your key to only find that the door is left unlocked, and you frown, ready to scold your roommate of his bad habit of not locking the door. 
“heeseung–!” you yell, stepping inside but you’re not met with your roommate’s face. instead, your questionable ex stands by the couch, in front of you. 
your jaw wants to drop, your eyes want to widen, you want to scream profanities and maybe cry in your room later. but you somehow can’t, and you stare at him blankly. 
“y/n!” your name is called, but with two different voices– your ex and your roommate. heeseung comes running out of the hallway, in which you assume he was in the bathroom earlier when you had just gotten home. 
sunghoon turns his head to look at heeseung, his brows furrowed and a look of disdain on his face. you choose not to question it, knowing the expression he’s wearing all too well, so you move your attention to heeseung. 
“what?” you ask, taking a step towards him as he gestures for you to go with him into the hall with a tilt of his head. you follow, exchanging a quick glance at sunghoon with your lips pursed into a line. 
“what is he doing here?” you whisper, rubbing your temple as the pounding hangover begins to subside, but you think it’s about to come back sooner after seeing your ex in your living room. 
heeseung rubs the nape of his neck, biting the inside of his cheek as he thinks of a reasonable explanation. he doesn’t know much about you and sunghoon, and he actually had only learned that he was your ex this morning. “uhmm… he showed up this morning.. and i was coming back from a class and he was just sitting out in the hall. he saw me approach the door and asked if you lived here. i then asked him, who are you, ‘cause i didn’t wanna give out your info! and then he said that he was your ex?? i didn’t even know you had one…” he rambles, mumbling the last part to himself but it doesn’t escape your ears. 
you huff, slapping his arm, earning you an ouch! from him. “what the hell! so you knew he’s my ex and you still let him in?! you are a horrible roommate!” you scold, your lips curving into a deep frown. 
“well… i thought that maybe you two had those ex’s but still friends kinda relationship…” heeseung shrugs his shoulders, giving you an awkward smile to try and save face. “i’m sorry, y/n! please forgive me,” he pouts suddenly, grabbing your hands and clasping them together with his. 
you roll your eyes before bringing his hands to your lips. his eyes widen slightly, panicky as his eyes dart from the end of the hall to you. but the panic quickly leaves as it arrived, with you biting down on his hand and he hisses in pain. “fuck– i didn’t know you were into biting like that, y/n..” 
“she is. i would know.” 
both of your heads sharply turn to the intruding voice that joins the two of you in the hall, sunghoon with his arms crossed against his chest, leaning his side against the wall. 
heeseung clears his throat after the silence that hung in the air, looking at you with softer eyes than before. he’s insinuating that he’ll be here, if anything went south between you and your ex. you give him a curt smile and nod, and heeseung takes a quick peek at sunghoon before he pecks a kiss on your cheek (that was very purposeful and much longer than what a peck should be). 
heeseung leaves, his door shutting is the only sound between you two. you bite your cheek, clearly avoiding eye contact when sunghoon begins to step closer towards you, but not invading your space.
“you guys fucked, huh?” 
your eyes shoot up at him. your mouth opens to retort, to say anything, but you’re stunned. sunghoon gives you a (sly) smile, eyes flicking between your eyes at the way your mouth quivers in nerves. “lucky guess,” he shrugs his shoulders, but it was more than just a lucky guess– there were too many signs of closeness that platonic roommates should not be having.
you still say nothing, waiting for him to speak and say what he wants from you, so that he can leave as soon as possible. you know well that small talk works nothing on sunghoon, and he only hates it more if not genuine. 
“does he satisfy you?” he asks, and you feel like he’s poking at you, but his arms are still crossed as he interrogates you. you frown, nodding your head but sunghoon only scoffs, his smirk only growing more. 
“ah… is that so?” he hums, unfolding his arms to dig out his phone from his pocket. he taps a few times on his screen before flipping the phone to show you. 
and you feel immensely embarrassed. if you had the chance to gain a magical power right here, right now, you would pick invisibility without a question. you’re mortified at the sight of sunghoon’s screen– your naked body on full display. and not just one, not two, but four photos of you in different positions, in front of the mirror, you name it. 
“well.. i gotta say, for someone who says they’re satisfied, i wonder why i got nudes then..” sunghoon muses, his canines showing through his grin.
a part of you wants to slap him, wipe that stupidly handsome grin off his face but you know that you’re the one that’s in the wrong in this situation. you sent your ex boyfriend nudes… you can’t even fathom the reason why you were trying to sendnudes in the first place, or what you were doing with sunghoon’s contact open. the two of you have been no-contact for a while since the mutual breakup, so why did your drunk mind decide that it was a good time to text him? 
and it’s not like your sex life is dry… by any means! jake and heeseung can definitely vow for you, and the weird and sudden urge to prove sunghooon starts to take over you. 
you scoff, “just wanted to show what you’ve been missing, i guess,” you shrug your shoulders, feigning confidence.
that’s when you forget how much sunghoon actually knows you– those two years didn’t go down the drain for nothing. 
“i do miss it.” blunt as ever, sunghoon says it so flatly that it catches you off guard, your wide eyes meeting his sudden dark, bedroom eyes. 
“oh.”
sunghoon struggles to bite back the smirk that grows on his face, taking another step towards you that starts to invade your senses– his cologne that he hasn’t changed since the day you first met. almost like a wave of nostalgia hits you, sunghoon decides to remind you what it feels like to have his lips on your skin.
but he’s not so nice, his lips barely grazing your jaw and his eyes hyper fixated on your own lips. your eyes dart up to read his face, but he’s so close, overwhelming you and clouding your mind, your hangover long forgotten. 
“what about you?” he whispers, slightly pulling back just to tease you even more, not giving you what you want most.
“h-huh?” you ask, confused, already starting to feel dazed.
“you miss me too?”
honestly, you should be putting up more of a fight. the breakup was mutual, yes, but it still hurt like hell and you didn’t spend months picking your life back up and getting used to being single again. and you definitely know that jay would not approve, the man being your support system through it all no matter the multiple times you shut him out.
but a part of you just wants to think that maybe, just maybe, sunghoon is back for a reason. but you could also be gaslighting yourself for thinking that.. perhaps you want to feel less guilty about wanting to so badly indulge in sunghoon and your desires. 
you were never known for having good self control, impulse usually taking over for most of your actions, and sunghoon knows that part of you very well to use it as an advantage.
“kinda,” you mumble, eyes avoiding his face as you feel your face grow a tad bit hot over the mere confession.
“kinda?” sunghoon hums, clicking his tongue as he shakes his head slightly. “i think you need a reminder, what do you think?”
before you could think– critically think about what the consequences are, you’re already nodding and all too familiar lips meet yours. soft and gentle to ease the both of you into it, having it been too long since the last time the two of you kissed. overwhelmed with the fluctuations of emotions that hit you, you practically moan into the kiss, causing him to bite your lower lip and earning a low groan from him. 
the sound is enough to have your stomach churning, and like pavlov’s theory, your thighs clenching automatically. yeah, you definitely missed that– having sunghoon wrapped around your finger without having to do much. 
“fuck…” he sighs, like he’s reminiscing an old memory but he might as well be, having almost forgotten how much you really affect him. a simple kiss that could pass as almost innocent (in his standards) has his pants tightening. 
and you had forgotten how hot he sounds whenever he curses. before you realize it, you’re grabbing his wrist and taking him into your bedroom, door shutting closed behind him when you push his back into said door. 
you quickly kiss him again, more feverishly and he’s fast to reciprocate and even chase after your lips when you even slightly pull back for a breath of air. his hands are roaming your body, getting familiar again with all your curves and marks that he’s studied for two years. he knows you love it when he gets grabby, so a tight hold on your waist has you moaning again into his mouth and you can feel his smile against your lips. 
“lemme eat you out, baby,” sunghoon mumbles mid-kiss, his grip on your hips tightening a bit more to convey his need, his brows slightly furrowed and he looks like he might die if he doesn’t. and you decide to use it to your advantage.
“hmm, under one condition,” you say, holding up an index finger between the two of your faces to prevent him from kissing you again. sunghoon’s confused, but he nods either way. you move away from him, his hands reluctantly letting go of your waist but he follows your every move. you go onto your bed, still facing him as you make your way to the center. he’s still moving with you like he’s under a spell, a knee propping him up on your bed as he stays at the edge.
slowly, you peel your bottoms off, and like the entranced man sunghoon is, his eyes are following your hands, waiting for your next words. you gesture for him to come closer, legs spreading to allow him space but your panties are blocking what he really wants to see.
“apologize.”
what you want him to apologize for? you don’t really know yourself. maybe the years you wasted on him? for showing up out of the blue? the hold he still has on you after all the hard work you spent on getting over him? luckily, sunghoon doesn’t question it. he gets close to you, between your thighs as he eyes your face. he visibly gulps before licking his lips and he nods without saying a word.
his face is inches away from your pantyclad cunt, and you start to feel a bit impatient (even though it’s only been a few seconds). he bites his lip, face tilting upwards and the tip of his nose perfectly grazes your clit. you gasp softly, looking down at him with the help of your elbows propping you up. 
“‘m sorry…” he murmurs softly, lips brushing against your pussy. he eyes you from below, through his thick lashes and you practically fold, your face growing hotter. 
he brings a finger to your cunt, still playing through your panties and he’s enjoying this more than you, feeling you clench and unclench in anticipation. he can’t hide the way his lips curve upwards into a smug smirk, missing how cute you are under his touch. 
his index finger curves underneath your panties, tugging it to the side to view your bare, wet cunt for him. he hums at the sight, licking his lips once again as if he was trying to hold himself back, eyes never departing from your pussy. 
“missed her s’much…” he almost slurs, drunk and he hasn’t even gotten a taste yet. he flattens his tongue, pressing his hot mouth against your folds. you squirm slightly, unsure hands gripping at your bedsheets. “y’know how much i like it when you grab my hair.. please do it again,” he pulls away from you, leaving you the dissatisfaction of no friction. 
so you do as he says, hands leaving your bed sheets as you tangle your fingers into his hair, forgetting just how soft and well-taken care of his hair is. he sighs when you tug slightly at the strands, the air blowing into your cunt and you buck your hips slightly. impatient, sunghoon attaches his lips to your cunt and begins urgently lapping up your juices.
you squeal, your hand unintentionally tugging harder and he groans into you. your taste alone has his eyes rolling to the back of his head, mind starting to reel at the reminder of how pliant you are for him. 
“i’m sooo sorry…” he mumbles sweetly into your pussy, practically inhaling you with his hands and arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you pinned into the mattress. he feels you twitch, his tongue bullying its way into your entrance and nose grazing your sensitive bud. 
you’re shaking at this point, your body and mind from being overwhelmed by the familiar sight of sunghoon between your thighs and his mumbled apologies into your pussy like he’s apologizing to it. “sorry…sorry, sorry,” he mindlessly slurs as he continues to slurp and lap at your juices. 
as it turns out, no matter how over you think you are from sunghoon, he’ll always have you in a vice grip, especially when you come undone from his tongue alone. you moan obscenities, your hips fighting against sunghoon’s grasp on you, but your hands pulling at his hair strands tell him that you want him closer. 
he moans into you, moving away from your dripping entrance and up to suck on your clit, encouraging your orgasm. you curse, his name falling out of your lips and sunghoon’s eyes don’t leave your face for a single millisecond, too obsessed with your cute, overstimulated expression. 
he finally pulls away from you, a filthy pop! following as he catches his breath. you lay your head back down on the pillow, legs giving out on being spread after sunghoon has let you go from his hold. but the moment is short-lived, his hand coming quickly to your thigh. “what are you doing? i want more.” 
and what sunghoon wants, he gets.
apparently, he wanted it three more times.
“wai– oh!” you whine, but your words fall on deaf ears as sunghoon is nose-deep in your cunt, eyes shut and visibly enjoying the feast laid for him. you’ve given up on fighting him two orgasms ago, knowing well that he’s done when he says so.
“wh..why are you so insatiable ri-right now..?” you ask through broken moans and heavy sighs. sunghoon finally opens his eyes, looking up at you. he acts like he’s pondering for a moment, but he knows the answer already– he just doesn’t want to pull away from your pussy yet. 
“mmm.. told you already, baby,” he mutters, tongue still licking up your essence around your cunt, “missed you… need’a satisfy my taste buds.” 
with that answer, he’s back into your pussy, except this time he gives you the pleasure of his fingers inserting inside you for the first time that night. you gasp, your free hand lurching down to reach for his wrist, feeling your orgasm suddenly approach you rapidly. 
“oh..oh fuck, i’m–” you whine, but you ddon’t need to tell sunghoon twice, inserting another finger. and, of course he knows how much you love the feeling of being stretched, especially when it’s in preparation for accommodating his cock for you.
your head is instantly thrown back, your nails gripping his hand turning white as you cum around his fingers and on his tongue, legs threatening to close shut around his face (not that he’d complain). 
his tongue swirls and plays with your swollen clit, fingers not relenting on you even as your back arches off the bed. “‘m here, baby, cum for me, last one, promise,” he mumbles to push you over the edge, “will never leave you again, ‘m so sorry, i’m sorry, baby.” 
it’s magical, really, the way his words can do so much on their own. maybe it’s the rasp in his voice that you’ve never really gotten used to, even when the two of you were together– it always had an effect on you. but perhaps, it’s really  just sunghoon who has that effect.
you come undone for the third time this morning, hand clasping over your mouth to save your embarrassment, not forgetting your roommate residing two rooms away from you. sunghoon finally detaches his lips from you, his fingers replacing your cunt for his mouth. he groans at the taste of your sin, the side of his face lazily laid on your thigh as you recover. 
you watch him suck his own fingers lewdly, a feeling of jealousy washing over you — what you’re really jealous of, you’re not sure. perhaps his fingers? his mouth? 
“what’re you thinkin’ about, sweetheart?” his words snapping you out of your gaze, but he knows damn well what’s running through your head. 
you mumble a mere “nothing”, your head turning to the side to avoid his eyes. he hums at your reply before kneeling off the bed, the sudden dip lifting off the mattress causing you to look at him again. 
sunghoon peels off his shirt and undoes his pants, and you had completely forgotten that he was still completely dressed throughout your nth orgasms of him just eating you out. you crawl up the bed a little, your elbows propping you up as you watch him. 
he tilts his head to the side, looking at you with a cheeky grin plastered on his face. “what’s that shocked look for? you know i’m not done with you.” 
that you do, having dealt with his insatiableness when the two of you were together plenty of times before. you chew on your bottom lip as he joins you back on the bed, settling between your legs once again. he leans close to you, his chest just hovering above yours and his face so unbearably close to yours. 
“you do know i truly did miss you, right…” he mumbles, his eyes switching its gaze on your lips and your own eyes. you don’t say anything, but he leans in even more, causing a small squeak to leave your lips in surprise. he tsks, his gaze leaving you for a second as if he was embarrassed, “had to convince one of your friends to tell me if you were doing okay or not. you got some really loyal friends..” he sighs, finally pulling away from invading your space. 
his words surprised you, your friends never once mentioning sunghoon texting them to ask about you. a twisted part makes you feel giddy that he was still checking up on you after all this time. 
“y’know you could’ve just come to me… after your whole rooming situation,” he continues on, his words in a low whisper, like he’s unsure if he should be saying all of this in the first place. 
“i was afraid you’d turn me away.. and i didn’t want to bother you,” you reply meekly, still looking at him even if he wasn’t. but at your words, he turns back to look at you. 
“i could never say no to you.” 
and you know it’s true, park sunghoon would never dare tell a lie to you. 
the silence engulfs the both of you for a minute before a small smile makes its way onto your lips. “i mean, if you’re just jealous that i’m rooming with another guy, you could just say that.” 
his eyes widen slightly, a failed stifled smirk growing on his face. “ah, you always read me like a book, baby,” he hums, his hands trailing up your thighs and spreading them open. 
you yelp when he tugs you closer to his torso, grabbing a hold of your thighs and lifting your leg above to rest on his shoulder. the tip of his cock barely brushes against your pussy, your hips already needily bucking for attention. he tsks at you, squeezing your thigh to get you to pay attention to him. 
“please… hoon,” you give him a cute pout, one that he typically always falls for. but he seems to be stubborn today, intending on dragging out this long awaited moment. 
“nah, don’t tell me what to do.” 
you’re whining again, but he quickly shuts you up when he guides his tip to brush against your sensitive clit, a sigh leaving your lips. he repeats this action, your juices coating his cock and making it glisten under the sun peeking through your blinds. 
“fuck..” he groans, slightly shaking his head as if to snap himself out of a daze, “can’t believe i even survived without you.” 
his words hit you like a trainwreck, your head thrown back as you thrust your hips upwards, his tip catching at your entrance and slipping in slightly due to your slickness. 
“hahh~ oh— feels good, more, p-please!” you beg, pleading at him with your eyes, causing him to grin and place a kiss on your leg that's resting on his shoulder. 
“lucky i missed you— and this cute pussy,” sunghoon grumbles before bottoming all the way in, both of you moaning in relief into each other’s neck. he starts off slow, very much opposite to how the two of you used to have sex. but you suppose makeup sex to sunghoon is like this, not that you mind.
the two of you are already panting like animals in heat, caught up in each other’s body warmth and the way he stretches your walls out, your cunt accommodating the familiarity of your ex’s cock. sunghoon cages your head in with his arms, leaning his forehead against yours. 
like you’re making love to each other, the eye contact you two hold is scary as his thrusts start to get harder and deeper, the skin on skin contact is loud and echoing throughout your bedroom. 
“fuuckk,” sunghoon drawls, breaking eye contact with you first to squeeze his eyes shut, enjoying your gummy walls suck him in. you whimper, his moans having a well enough effect on your body as you feel your arousal stick to your thighs and his pelvis. 
you pull him into a needy kiss, hushed moans being swallowed by the both of you to keep the noise level to a minimum (not that it’s really helping). the kiss is sloppy, spit drooling from the corner of your mouth as sunghoon speeds up. 
“mmgh– oh fuck!” you whine, starting to feel how deep he really is. you swear he grew bigger. 
sunghoon moves his hands to caress your hips and thighs, cherishing what used to be his. he moves his lips down to your neck, peppering wet kisses at your pulse point , causing shivers to run down your spine. 
“nn-no, stop,” you giggle slightly, the sensitivity making you pull away from him but sunghoon doesn’t budge, his sharp canines dragging down to your collarbone. “you’re so cute, god..” he mutters, lifting body up as well as pulling your thighs up together, placing soft kisses at your ankle. “m’gonna fuck you like you deserve to, sweet girl.” 
you don’t get a word out, a gasp pulled out of you as he thrusts roughly, the new angle making you feel like he’s in your stomach. you slap a mouth over your hand in fear of heeseung hearing too much from his room. sunghoon grins at you, canine peeking under his lip. 
“no, no… what’re you doin’? he should hear you, so he knows what you sound like when you get properly fucked…” his last words said sharply, followed by even sharper thrusts that make you squeal even through your palm. 
his brows are furrowed now, concentration fully on you as he focuses on your pleasure. his hand snakes down around your thighs, his thumb swiping at your sensitive clit. you let out a whine, the palm over your mouth long forgotten as you grip his forearm. 
“ooh~” he hums, a deep chuckle leaving his lips, “you’re tightening up.. my baby is gonna cum, aren’t you?” he taunts, a brow cocking in question as a smirk appears on his face. you nod, your words being swallowed by your own moans and whines. you’re scratching up his forearm, not that he minds– he’s never minded when you mark him as yours. 
you can’t even give him a warning, your orgasm crashing over you, splotches of white invading your vision as you toss your head back. sunghoon releases a groan, your walls clenching and unclenching around his cock causing him to pound into you faster. 
he lets out another chuckle at your shaking body, his finger letting your clit go. he grabs onto your arms, pulling you up towards him. you instinctively wrap your arms around him, his cock resting deep inside you. your chest heaves up and down, resting your head on his shoulder.
sunghoon hums, “tapping out now? you used to last much longer…” he says, feigning a thoughtful tone to tease you. you pout, raising your head. you are tired, yes… but sunghoon always knows how to provoke you into continuing. 
“i-i’m not,” you frown, suddenly raising your hips then bouncing back down on his cock. he sucks in a breath, leaning back slightly and using his arms to prop himself up. 
“mmm, okay… i’ll give you two minutes before you’re whining, tellin’ me you’re too tired. ‘m gonna have to do all the work again,” he sighs dramatically, rolling his eyes sassily at you. 
you slap his chest before looping your arm around his neck again. you don’t retort back– you’ll prove him wrong with just your actions. steadily bouncing up and down on his cock to create a nice pace for you, it’s not long before sunghoon is groaning out your name.
easily entranced by your bouncing tits in front of him, he wraps his lips around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it. you whine, your hips twitching in urge to grind on him rather than bounce, but you resist as your mission is to make your ex lover cum. 
your hands tangle into his undercut, scratching as his scalp and back as you continue to ride him, the squelching of your cunt meeting his cock making the two of you even more needier. “oh fuuckk,” sunghoon almost whines, tearing his lips apart from your nipple. “don’t stop, juuust like that.” 
your thighs are getting tired and starting to burn, but the twitching of his cock inside you keeps you going, knowing that he’s not too far off from his orgasm. slamming your hips down harder onto him, you grab his face and pull him into another messy kiss, since you know that sloppy kisses always get him even more worked up. 
and you’re right, as sunghoon’s hips thrust back up into you, sloppily pounding as he holds your body still to hover above him, using you. but he doesn’t relent– making you cum only once on his cock? that’s never happened and he intends on never letting it happen. his hand once again sneaks down, rubbing your swollen and overstimulated clit. you cry out into his mouth, him easily shushing you up again as he pushes his tongue inside your mouth. 
you both arrive at your climax, sunghoon groaning out your name against your lips as you grind hopelessly against him. 
the two of you still are engaging in a kiss, less sloppier and more soft. pulling away to finally properly catch your breath, sunghoon rubs soothingly along your hips and thighs.
shouldn’t this be when regret starts flooding your mind and body? you should probably be freaking out now, telling sunghoon to leave and to never speak again. but.. you don’t feel the regret washing over you. maybe a little guilt, but it’s mostly because you told jay you would never be in contact with sunghoon again. and the fact that you told jay you blocked him, which you clearly did not, leading you to your current situation of being wrapped in his arms.
you’re a little too comfortable right now, listening to sunghoon’s soft breathing as the two of you embrace each other. you almost want to break down in tears, beg for him back, but that’s definitely the last thing that you should be doing. you need to consult with someone, and that someone being your best friend. 
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miniwheat77 · 9 months
Text
Army Green. (Ghost x Virgin!Reader.)
!CW! NSFW, Smut, Age gap (Reader is 20, Simon is 32), unprotected sex, p in v sex, virginity loss, animal getting hurt, Simon in distress, PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE YOU READ. (Sorry if I missed any.)
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It’s a sunny day, you’ve spent most of the day outside.
Mostly working on your yard, but you didn’t always mind. It did get rough sometimes of course, living alone and doing all of the work constantly. You lived in a pretty small house. It had a smaller yard, gravel driveway. It was fenced in. It was nice.
Sometimes the work piled up, getting busy, trying to pull yourself out of a funk. Especially because doing 100% of the work was new to you. Since you’d just gotten out of a serious relationship. It was a tough situation. You’d moved out with your boyfriend at 18. You were together for the better part of your teenage years, your first real boyfriend, the only serious boyfriend you’d ever had.
The break up was miserable and rough. The fights were bad, the messages were vulgar and laced with venom. It was a really rough breakup that left you damaged.
You went from a two person household, to one. Having to work more to pay the bills, having to pick up the rest of the household chores and somehow still stay sane. It was tough, but you managed. You had a few friends that helped you stay busy, and you were thankful for that.
You were sitting on your couch, it was the weekend and you didn’t want to spend all of it doing yard work. Your friends were supposed to be coming over and you were excited to spend the night with them. Just as you finished cleaning up your house, you heard a knock on your door. Knowing that it was your friends, you yelled for them to come inside. They walked in with all kinds of drinks and snacks in their hands, ready to have a good night.
“Dude, your neighbor is super weird.” One of them mumbles. “He wears a mask with like.. a skull face on it.” She mumbles. “Yeah?” You laugh. “Why does that make him weird?” You question her. “That’s all he ever wears. I’ve never seen him in anything else.”
“So what. Maybe he doesn’t want people seeing his face.” You shrug. “Whatever. I think it’s weird.” She shrugs. “Maybe he’s like.. super hot and doesn’t want people to know.” Your other friend smiles. “Maybe. Walk over there and find out for me.” You nudge her. Earning a laugh from them. “You’ve never met him?” She asks. You shake your head. “No. I’ve actually never even seen him, I didn’t know he wore a skull mask.” You shrug. They laugh. Eventually the subject changes.
Later that night as you’re sitting on the couch, you’re all about to go to bed. “What if your neighbor is super hot?” She asks again. “There’s tons of hot people, be specific.” You toss a piece of popcorn at her. “I mean.. what if he’s like super hot. You should talk to him.” She shrugs. “Um. I’m pretty sure he’s like 30.” The other one laughs. “Oh.. well damn.” She sighs. “What’s wrong with him being 30? Why would that stop me?” You ask. They both look at you like you’ve just called them the worst names known to mankind. “Jesus! You whore!” They laugh. “I’m serious! What’s wrong with that.” You giggle. “Just.. not your own age?”
“Maybe that’s why guys suck so bad. Maybe we need to branch out a bit. Go for the weird old guys that wear skull masks.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you. “Maybe.” You smirk. “Nah, I’m not trying anything with anyone. Maybe not ever after Wesley.” You roll your eyes. “Oh please, Wesley wouldn’t see a good girl if he got hit by one.”
“Clearly.” The other rolls her eyes. “It’s just because I wasn’t ready.” You mumble. Earning glances for them. “Ready for what?”
“Sex.” They perk up. “What? You were together for that long and never had sex?”
“No?”
“Why not?”
“Because.. I’ve never had sex before? And wasn’t ready?” You laugh awkwardly. They’re both staring at you in confusion. “Well shit. We didn’t know that.” They laugh. “Damn. Whole new perspective.” They laugh softly.
“Yeah, my poor ‘old’ neighbor probably heard those nasty fights, no way he’d fuck around with a girl like me.” You laugh. “Never know until you try.”
You roll your eyes. “Goodnight you two.” You laugh, walking back into your bedroom. You settle into your bed, eyes heavy as you fade into a deep sleep.
You hear whining outside, it startles you awake.
You look at your phone, it’s early. The sun has just barely risen, it’s still mostly dark. Cascades of blue painting the sky. You sit up, rubbing your eyes as you hear it again. It sounds like a dog in pain.
You climb out of bed, walking out to your living room. You can still hear it faintly. Your friends are still asleep on the couch and you open your front door quietly, peeking outside. It’s cold, chills creep up your legs and arms immediately, maybe a bad time to sleep in a tank top and shorts. You step outside, covering yourself with your arms as you look around for the sound you’re hearing. You notice the noise is louder now, along with rattling. You spot a dog, it’s got it’s paw stuck in your fence. Fairly close to your bedroom, that’s why you heard it.
“Shit-“ you mumble. You jog lightly to get to her. It’s your neighbors dog, you assume the one with the skull mask. “Hey, stop moving.” You mumble as she tugs to free her paw. You hear a door open and close behind you, noticing it’s your neighbor.
And he doesn’t have on a skull mask.
“Shite, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she’d gotten out.” He says as he jogs to you. You can hear the gravel giving away under his feet. “It’s alright. No worries.” You mumble. You unwrap her paw. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.” You mumble. As she whines more. Once you free her paw, she frantically licks at it. “Let me see it darling.” You breathe, reaching your hand out. To your surprise she lies down, rolling onto her back so that you could get a good look at her. Your neighbor crouches down to check the rest of her as you look at her paw. “Just a scratch.” You smile. “Yeah, she’s a bit over dramatic.” The man laughs. “I heard her whining.” You laugh. “Yeah. If I accidentally bump her she’ll yelp like I’ve cut her leg off.” He smiles. His accent is thick and his voice is incredibly deep.
And your friends were absolutely right, he’s hot as hell.
“I don’t think we’ve ever met.” You stand up. He stands up with you, reaching his hand out. “I’m Simon.” You send him a smile. “Y/N.” He smiles. “Ah, and this is my dramatic princess Paisley.” He looks down at her. “Nothing wrong with a little bit of embellishment, gets the attention you need.” You smile down at her. He laughs at this. “Anyways, sorry for waking you, love.” You feel your cheeks warm at his pet name. “No worries, I’m just glad she’s alright.”
“Cmon, back to bed with you.” He nods his head at the dog and she walks with him back to their house. You make your way back to your door, stepping inside. You forget that your friends are there and they stir awake with the sound of your door closing. “Y/N? What are you doing?”
“My neighbors dog got stuck in the fence.”
“Is it okay?”
“Yeah she’s fine. But you were right. He’s hot as fuck.” You laugh. Walking passed them, going back into your room.
It’s been a while since you’ve had a day off, picking up extra shifts and doing more and more work so that you could afford your house. It was getting rough. You didn’t see much of your neighbor, aside from passing. He did always wear a skull mask which you found weird. Until you were up early and seen him leaving one day.
He was wearing full military attire, Paisley had on a vest and he was telling her to get into the back of his truck, that’s when it clicked.
His accent, why he was always gone, his large build, the mask. It all made sense now.
Your next day off, you’re sitting in a coffee shop with your friends and they’re making fun of you. It’s a gathering, an every once in a while coincidence that all of you had the same day off. “So what’s going on with everyone else? I feel like I’ve been talking about myself this entire time.”
“Not much.” Everyone mumbles.
“Oh, Y/N’s neighbor is smoking hot, I’m waiting for her to announce that she has a controversially older boyfriend.”
The girl next to you is loud when she says it, earning an elbow to the side from you. “Ohhhh. Tell us more?”
You roll your eyes. “I’ve talked to him once, his dog got her paw stuck in my fence, there’s nothing weird about that. Although he is very, very attractive.”
“It’s weird, he always wears a skull mask.”
“Oh!” You sit up. “I know why. I saw him leaving the other morning wearing full military gear. That explains the accent and everything.” You laugh.
“Accent?”
“Oh.. I forgot to say that? He’s British.”
Their mouths drop, and you can’t help but blush at your spaced information.
“No way, Y/N. If you don’t have sex with that man right now..” she laughs. “Oh god, I am not ready for that. I just got out of a shitty relationship.” You laugh. “Well.. just out of curiosity.” She sips her from her cup. “Just how much thinking have you done about Wesley since you talked to your neighbor?” She teases. You roll your eyes which makes them all laugh. “See!”
“Christ. You guys are ridiculous. I have to go do yard work.” You roll your eyes.
“Look sexy!” She calls out as you exit the building, your cheeks are on fire.
When you arrive home, you look up at the sky, noticing the brewing storm. Maybe today was a bad day for yard work after all. Just as you make your way inside, the rain starts to come down. You sit down on your couch, deciding to watch a show instead.
You lose track of time. You could hear the rain pouring down outside. Thunder making you jump slightly.
A knock at your door has you whipping around. You stand up, slowly making your way up to your door. You open it slightly, noticing your neighbor. He’s soaking wet. “Uh.. hi. Sorry to bother you so late. I just.. have you seen Paisley?” He asks. “Uh.. no I haven’t. Is something wrong?” You ask, opening the door up wider. “I let her out earlier and she never came back in. I think she ran off.” He sighs. “I’ve been looking everywhere and I can’t find her.”
“Let me put some shoes on, I can help.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” He sighs. “No, she’s a good girl, I wouldn’t want something bad happening to her.” You smile. Once you’ve slid on shoes and a jacket, you’re stepping out into the rain.
Ghost notices your tattered old skate shoes immediately. If you’ve got a boyfriend, why isn’t he taking care of you? Ghost knows he’s seen a guy around.
Behind your houses was a huge patch of trees, that’s where the both of you decide to look first. You’re calling out for her, walking along. You part ways when you get into the trees. Calling out for her. You don’t see anything and it’s getting darker as you walk along.
Ghost is somewhere further away by now, he’s calling for her, but she isn’t coming. He stops with a sigh. “Christ, where the fuck are you, fucking dog.” He growls.
“Simon!” He hears you yell. “Y/N?”
“I found her!” You call to him. He quickly makes his way over to you, seeing you’ve got a hand on her collar. “Ugh, damn dog.” He breathes. “Home now!” He says sternly, Paisley bolts for his house immediately. “Sorry. You didn’t have to come out here.” He laughs. “I don’t mind the rain.” You laugh, walking towards your houses with him. “Not real good shoes for bad weather.” He laughs. “Oh psh these? They’re fine.” You wave your hand. “What, your boyfriend doesn’t spoil you?” He laughs. “Oh god, I don’t have a boyfriend.” You laugh. “What? Who was that guy than?”
“Uh.. well. He WAS my boyfriend. But.. it’s a long story.”
“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” He laughs awkwardly. “Oh it’s fine.”
“I’ve got a fire going in my house, if you wanted to dry your clothes out. You could talk about it if you want.” He shrugs. “Uhh. Sure.” You shrug. You follow him up to his back door, he opens the door up for you. You step inside and he shows you to his living room, where he had a pretty wood stove going. Lined with bricks. “Give me a moment.” His house was really nice. You wait before sitting down, not wanting to get his couch wet. “Here.” He passes you a towel and a shirt. “It’s an old shirt of mine.” He nods. “Thank you.” You smile. It’s Army Green.
He shows you to his bathroom and you change quickly, making your way back to his living room. You notice that he’s put your shoes on the tile in front of the fire to dry them out. You can’t help but smile.
He brings out tea and sets it down on his coffee table, sitting in the chair across from you. You pull his shirt down over your knees, making sure you’re covering yourself. Your panties had gotten wet and you had to take them off too. “Why did you guys break up if you don’t mind me asking?” He asks. “Uhh.” You laugh. “I found out that he was talking to a couple other girls. Meeting up with them and.. yeah.” You look down. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He breathes. You smile, looking up at him. He’s no longer wearing his mask.
“Honestly? I thought it would hurt more.” You shrug. “We.. I mean we’d been together for a long time but our relationship wasn’t serious. I didn’t really have any feelings towards the end, not after all of the things he said to me.” Ghost tilts his head. He’s curious.
“Uh..” you shift awkwardly. “I.. this is probably too much information but.. we never.. slept together. I just wasn’t into it, and he hated that I wasn’t. He said a lot of gross things to me.” You shrug. He nods his head. “How old are you?” He asks. “I’m 20.”
“How old was he?” He asks. “21.”
He smiles. “There’s your problem darling.” He laughs. “He’s just.. stupid and immature. I was at that age too. You’re too young to be worried about all of that anyways.”
You smile. “How old are you?” You ask. “32.” Your eyes widen. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, m’ an old man.” He laughs. “You do not look 32.” You smile. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He winks.
“You need new shoes.” He nods to them. “Uhhh. Yeah. That has to wait.” You laugh. “Hm?”
“I can barely afford my house, those shoes will just have to do. They’ve done me good.” You smile. You move to stand in front of the fire, crouching to pet Paisley who’s laying in front of it. Ghost stands up too. “How about we check you out, make sure you didn’t get into something.” He breathes, rolling paisley over onto her back. He runs his hands along her fur. Feeling that she’s fine as he stands back up. He towers over you, and now you really feel how close you are to him. “I can help you get new ones.” He nods. “No.. that’s not your job.” You shake your head.
“Course not, you could work for it.” He smiles.
Your eyes widen. “Not- Jesus. Not like that.” He laughs. “Oh good.” You breathe out. “Had me worried for a second.” You laugh. “Got a dirty mind.” he rolls his eyes. “I mean.. if you babysit for me when I’m gone.” He nods. “I usually have her boarded at the base but.. they keep her cooped up a lot there.” He looks down at her. “Simon, I don’t mind watching Paisley. You don’t have to get me anything. She’s a good girl, I don’t mind.” You smile. He nods his head. “Thank you Y/N.” He smiles. “Of course.”
You’re warm from the fire, spinning around to warm your front. He does the same. Looking at the dancing flames through the glass. “Do you have a wife or anything?” You ask. “No.” He laughs. “My job isn’t good for relationships.” You nod your head. “Fair.” He laughs. “Why?” He asks. “I was just curious.” You say nervously. His smile is flirty, and you’re worried.
Not because he intimidates you.
You’re worried by how much you like it.
“You sure?” He looks at you, making you turn your head to look at him. “Mhm.” You smile. He takes a step toward you, making you step back.
Back hitting the wall with a gasp. “Might be overstepping here..” he laughs. “But he was stupid to fumble a girl like you.” He breathes. He’s toying with the shirt you’re wearing. You take in a shaky breath, looking up at him. “Simon.” You start. He tilts your chin to make you look him in the eyes, leaning into you. “Can I kiss you?” He asks. You part your lips, not saying a word. After a second, you nod your head.
He closes the gap right away, kissing you hard.
Your friends were going to freak when you told them.
You feel his fingertips gliding up your thigh and you gasp into his lips as he glides them over your bare opening. “Ah- Simon wait!” You breathe. Pushing him back slightly. “I.. I-“ you’re stuttering, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry, maybe I misunderstood..” he breathes. “No- no it’s not that. I.. I liked it. I just.. I’ve never done this before.” You breath, looking up at him. Your cheeks are burning, because his fingertips touching you is the first time a man has ever touched you like that. And this is only the second time you’ve ever interacted with him. “It’s alright.. I know you haven’t known me long.” He laughs. “No.. I don’t mean..” you clench your eyes closed. “I’ve never had sex before.” You sigh. He raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh.. well. I’m sorry I pushed you so hard, I had no idea.” He steps back.
“You didn’t. I.. I liked it.” You swallow hard.
He crosses his arms. “Have you ever been touched.. at all?” He asks. You shake your head. “Have you.. done anything at all? Like.. touched yourself?” You chew on your lip nervously. Shaking your head again. “I’ve tried but.. it’s.. weird.” You bring your hands behind your back. “It’s not weird, not if you’re doing it right.” He looks at you. The room is dark, the lights are dim and the fire illuminates it slightly.
“D-do you think you could show me? W-what it feels like I mean…” You look up at him.
“Yeah, of course. Cmere.” He tilts his head, reaching his hand out for you to take. He walks around his couch, pulling you with him. “Go ahead.” You sit down. “Lay back sweetheart.” He nods. You’re nervous as you lay back. “If you don’t like what I’m doing, if you want me to stop at all, you tell me okay?” He says. “Of course.” You nod.
He pushes the Army Green shirt up over your hips, you’re bare. Wearing nothing underneath.
He glides his hand up your thighs, feeling you shiver as he does. His fingertips gliding over your exposed flesh, rubbing over your opening. When he touches your clit, you flinch away from him. He forgets that you’re untouched.
Sensitive, easily stimulated. He chuckles. “Relax. You’re tense.” He breathes. He moves himself over you, pressing his thigh right up against your opening, hearing a gasp from your lips. He lowers himself on top of you, pressing his lips to yours again. You kiss him sloppily, cheeks flushed, your tummy feels warm as he rocks his thigh into you. You whine into his lips, raising your hips to meet him.
He pulls away from you, kissing your chin and down your neck, pushing the shirt up and over your chest. Exposing every part of you to him. The first man to ever see such sensitive parts of you. He attaches his lips to your nipple, hearing you gasp. You lift your hips into him, wanting more. But he takes his time with you. You’ve never felt this way, never been so turned on before. He finishes showing your nipples attention and moves lower, leaving a trail of kisses down your stomach. You’re nervous as he moves himself between your legs. He looks up at you, leaving a kiss to your thigh. One kiss to your swollen clit and you were done.
You let your head fall back, he pushes his hands up his couch, entwining his fingers with yours as he spreads your folds with his tongue. It takes just a few minutes and you’re crying his name out in the perfect symphony. Your stomach is moving with the way you’re panting and you can barely hold still. He moves his hands away from yours, holding your hips down. Sucking and lapping at your clit, pushing his tongue into you slightly. It’s an unfamiliar feeling. You can feel something building. “S-Simon. Feels funny.” You whimper, lifting yourself up to rest on your elbows. Watching him eat your pussy like it’s the sweetest ice cream he’s ever had.
You feel his fingertips gliding over your entrance, and you gasp when he pushes one inside of you. Curling it right into your spongy spot. You can’t hold yourself together, especially not when he adds another finger, scissoring them. A cry leaves your lips, it’s a desperate moan. Something that tells him that you’re just about to cum. You can’t say anything which is what he wants, he’s cornering you right into pure bliss, leaving you nowhere to go. It feels like your body bursts into flames when he works your pussy to an orgasm. The first of many that he’s going to give you. Your eyes are full of tears and clench shut as he works you through your orgasm. Until you’re sensitive and squirming. He finally pulls away from you, moving himself above you again, kissing you, letting you taste yourself on him. You’re breathing hard when you pull away, looking up at him. Like he’s just killed an army in your honor.
“How do you feel?” He asks. Your lips are parted, you want to say something but you can’t. He chuckles at your trance-like state. “It’s alright. I know it’s a lot.” He smiles, pulling the shirt down to cover you. Pulling you up until you’re sitting up to look at him. “I feel good.” You finally say, cheeks burning. “Good, I hope so.”
Your eyes are lost in him and he says something but you don’t even hear it.
He waves in front of your eyes, chuckling when you flinch away. Shaking yourself out of your thoughts. “You alright, space cadet? I wasn’t too much was I?” He laughs. “No.. no.” You giggle, “sorry.” You blush. “First time is always intense. I get it.” He smiles. Leaning into you. “Can’t wait to see how spacey you’ll be when I fuck that pussy for the first time.”
You swallow hard, eyes clenching shut. You’re quiet.
A laugh is what makes you open your eyes. “I’m only kidding. Relax.” He stands up. “Unless you want me to of course.” He winks at you.
“I know you have work tomorrow, I’m keeping you up.” He laughs. “Let’s get these shoes on you and I’ll walk you home.” He smiles. He kneels down onto one knee, reaching out for one of your shoes. It’s dry and warm.
You’re surprised at first.
He’s actually putting shoes on you, like you’re some kind of princess.
He helps you up, throwing one of his jackets over you and holding your clothes. The storm has passed now, it’s only dark. When you reach your front porch, he passes you your clothes. “I can go change and give you your shirt back.” You stutter when you say. He’s making you nervous. “Don’t worry about it. Keep it. It looks better on you anyways.” He smiles. You blush, looking down. “Thank you, for helping me find Paisley.”
“Of course. I don’t mind at all.” You smile. “Um.. t-thank you for um..”
“You don’t have to thank me for that.” He laughs. “Sorry..” you blush. “It’s alright. Get some sleep.” He smiles.
You smile. “Goodnight Simon.”
“Goodnight Y/N.” He nods. “Oh.. wait. Can I have your phone number? Since you’re willing to watch Paisley for me.” He playing his eagerness off. “Yeah of course.” You smile, walking toward your couch where you had left your phone. You pick it up and walk back to the door where he was waiting, passing it to him. He types his phone number into your phone and sends himself a text with it. “Awesome. Thank you Y/N. Goodnight now.” He smiles.
“Goodnight Simon.”
“You seem to be in a good mood LT.” Soap smiles.
“Something going on at home?” He smirks.
Ghost rolls his eyes. “Not now Soap.” He rolls his eyes.
“Who’s the girl, you’ve been checking your phone every 10 minutes.” He crosses his arms. Ghost sighs. “It’s my neighbor. I asked if she’d watch my dog. Stop being weird.” He shoves passed Soap. “Aw Cmon. I’m your friend.” Soap scoffs. “I tell you everything. I’ve never seen you act this way before.”
Ghost sighs. “Alright fine. Yeah, something happened between us and I don’t know what to think of it. But she’s kind’ve way out of my league.” He mumbles. “What do you mean by that?”
“She’s 20.”
Soaps eyes widen. “Jesus. A tad bit young don’t you think.” Ghost looks at him unimpressed. “She’s been my neighbor for a while, I thought she was older.” He shrugs. Soap laughs. “Nah, women just mature way before men do.” Ghost snorts. “Yeah. Well.. what I did with her last night I can’t really come back from.” He laughs. “Did you sleep with her?” Simon shakes his head. “No.. but. I don’t want to talk about it. Paisley got her paw stuck in her fence a few weeks back and I went out to check on her and she was helping her. Last night, Paisley didn’t come back when I let her out, so I stopped by and asked her if she’d seen her and she said no, but offered to help me look for her.” He shrugs. “So.. if you did stuff with her, why didn’t you have sex with her?” Ghost flinches. “She.. uh.” He laughs nervously. “She’s a Virgin.”
Soap’s eyes are wide. “Christ. You’ve got yourself into quite the situation Ghost.” He laughs. “Yeah. You’ll have to see her.” He mumbles. “Take me with you when you drop Paisley off for a mission sometime.” Soap crosses his arms. Simon laughs. “Alright. If you insist Johnny.”
“I’m good at reading people, I’ll tell you if she’s good for you.”
“She’s not good for me, I haven’t felt like this in forever.” Soap raises his eyebrows, a smug look on his face. “That means she’s good for you. You’re supposed to feel happiness.” He rolls his eyes. Ghost laughs. “It’s bad for a man like me. I’ve lost everyone, makes me vulnerable.” He mumbles. “So don’t lose this one.” Soap pats his shoulder.
Ghost shakes his head. “It’s never been in my control. But.. me being vulnerable, means that I can be very dangerous. So let’s hope this goes alright.”
“You WHAT?” She yells from the other end of the phone, you can hear her coughing violently on her coffee. “Uh.. yeah.”
“Did you have sex?” She asks. “What? No. He just.. he. We didn’t have sex.” You blush. “What’s gotten into you?” She squeals, making you laugh. “I don’t know. I guess I just really like him.” You bite your lip. “Damn. Who would’ve guessed. A 32 year old in the military is your type.” She laughs. “I know right. I don’t know. He’s.. ugh.” You sigh. “I’ve talked to him twice ever, and he’s already been so much fucking nicer to me than Wesley. I just.. don’t even know what to say.” You laugh. “That’s how you’re supposed to be treated Y/N.” She laughs. “Maybe he’ll be really good for you. Maybe you’ll get married and have a bunch of kids.” She snorts. You roll your eyes. “Whatever. I have to get back to work.” You mumble. “We’re not done talking about this. You’re telling me every detail later.” She mumbles through the phone, making you laugh. “We’ll see.” You say before hanging up.
You bite your lip.
You can’t stop thinking about the night before. What he said to you.
“Can’t wait to see how spacey you’ll be when I fuck that pussy for the first time.”
Your stomach turns and you feel yourself getting wet just from the thought of it. You needed to get your mind off of this. You stand up, heading outside to find something to do.
You’re sure you could find some yard work of some kind to do.
You look around your house, noticing the patch of grass by your driveway was mixing with gravel. You head back inside, changing into more comfortable clothes to do this task. Not paying any mind to whos eyes may be on you. Simon was meant to be at work anyways. You get a rake, raking the gravel back into it’s dedicated location. You needed to plant more grass seed, maybe line it with some spare bricks to keep the gravel away from it. It’d keep Paisley away from the fence to avoid getting her paw stuck. Simon really needed to fence his yard in to keep her inside. Although she was a pretty large dog, she’d probably just jump over it. You’re carrying bricks when Simon pulls up, Soap is in his passenger seat. “Is that her?” Soap asks. “Oh.. yeah. I guess so. I thought she was supposed to work today.” He mumbles. “Guess I’ll get to meet her sooner than later.” He smiles. You’ve got your ear buds in, not paying any attention. “We’re just checking on Paisley, get your head out of the gutter.” Ghost mumbles. As soon as Simon opens the door, Paisley bolts to your house. “Oh Jesus Christ, seriously!” He mumbles. Paisley attacking you with kisses, jumping on you catches you off guard.
“Oh my gosh!” You laugh. Turning your face to avoid her sloppy kisses. Simon and Soap approach, and you’re petting Paisley. “Hi darling, I’m glad to see you’re okay after your great escape.” You smile. When you glance up and see Simon walking toward you, another man behind him. “Thought you were supposed to be at work?” Simon asks.
“Ah, a bunch of offices flooded last night in the storm, mine included. So I’ve got a couple weeks off while they renovate.” You smile. “Ah, paid I hope?” He laughs. “Oh yeah. I would be out looking for another job otherwise.” You laugh. “That’s good though, a nice break.”
Ghost looks at Soap. “We just stopped by to check on Paisley. This is Soap by the way.” He nods. You look confused. “Did you say Soap?” You ask, looking at him. Soap laughs. “My name is Johnny, but you can call me Soap.” He nods, reaching his hand out. You take it, shaking his hand. Ghost feels jealousy boiling through him when he touches you. He doesn’t like that. “Civilians don’t get the nickname, Ghost.” Soap judges him. You tilt your head. “Ghost?” You smile, crossing your arms. “Nice. A weird duo but I like it.” You laugh. “I like the Mohawk too, don’t see that haircut much anymore.” You nod. “Thanks.” He smiles. “Oh no, don’t go giving the bloke a big head.” Simon rolls his eyes. “Whatever, I’m gonna go find Paisley. She’s nicer than you.” Soap rolls his eyes. “Nice meeting you, lass.” He smiles. “Nice meeting you too.” You wave.
Simon lingers behind. “Why’re you not relaxing?” He laughs. You blush, looking down. “Can’t sit down for too long or I’ll think about what you said last night.” You laugh. “Ah. That makes sense.” He laughs. “I can give you something else to think about if you want.” He chuckles. “Jesus Christ.” You roll your eyes.
“I think Soap is getting impatient, Ghost.” You call him by his nickname and he freezes up. He laughs. “Don’t call me that. Not unless you’re moaning it.” He turns to walk away from you, hearing you laugh. Mumbling a ‘Jesus’ under your breath.
As he works, training new recruits, helping out anywhere he can, preparing for missions. He thinks about you.
The jealousy he felt earlier with Soap, it worries him. He’s getting too close to you. He knows it. The last time he did this, he got hurt. Irreversible damage to him that he still suffers from. He needs to stay away from you, but he fears it’s too late.
You’re so kind. Naive in a good way almost.
You’re so nice, so sweet. Even Paisley likes you.
He can’t focus on work without thinking about you. Zoning out as he loads everything up. The way that you sounded with his face buried between your thighs, he thinks about how you’ll sound when he-
He groans out in frustration, earning a couple glances. He throws down the wrench he’s holding, cursing under his breath.
Soap and Captain Price exchange a worried glance as he storms off.
Soap can’t help but laugh when he’s gone, the door shut and latched behind him. “Something going on with him?” Captain Price asks. “Yeah, a girl.” He snickers. “Ah. Trouble in paradise?”
“No.” He laughs. “She’s his neighbor and they aren’t.. anything just yet. But I guess he had an encounter with her.” Captain Price nods. “Women. They’ll do that to ya.” He laughs, picking up the box of ammo and walking to the back of the Humvee. “Tell me about it.” Johnny smiles, digging through the box of tools.
Captain Price sets down the box of ammo in the back of the vehicle, swiping his hands off together to get the dust off of them. “Suppose I’ll go talk to ‘im.” Captain Price mutters as he makes his way into the office that Simon had gone into. He opens the door, seeing him sitting at the desk. He’s got a water bottle in front of him and it’s already almost gone. “You alright Simon?” Price sits down in the chair across from him. Hearing Simon sigh. “M’fine Price.” He mumbles. “Johnny told me a bit about your troubles.” He smiles. Ghost rolls his eyes at this. “It’s alright, maybe we can talk about it. Maybe it’ll make you feel better.” He shrugs. “What, is this a therapy session?” He jokes. Earning a snort from his Captain. “I’m serious, I’m a wise old man with a lot of advice.” He smiles, setting his hands in his lap. The dad energy that Price gives off warms Simon’s heart in a way. “I don’t know. She’s my neighbor and she’s a lot younger than me.” He sighs. “I just think I’m going to end up getting myself into something dumb with her.”
“Well.. what’s she like?”
“I.. I mean she’s nice. She lives on her own. She.. said that she just got out of a relationship.” He sighs. “Oh? Did she say why?”
“He cheated on her because she wasn’t ready to… take the next step with him.” Ghost shrugs. “Hm.. do you know anything about her background? How responsible she is?”
Ghost shakes his head. “Not really. I’ve only talked to her twice but the second time.. we were alone and things escalated.” He mumbles. “So.. you had sex?”
“No.” Ghost laughs. “She’s.. a Virgin.”
Captain Price’s eyes widen, and he shifts uncomfortably. “How old did you say she was?” He asks.
“20.”
Captain Price nods his head. “Hm.. well. What does she do in her spare time? Do you know?”
“She.. mostly just works so that she can pay her bills and hangs out with her friends.” He shrugs. “Do you know where she works?” Simon nods. “A bookkeeper for a construction company. She’s worked there since she was eighteen.” He nods.
“So.. she’s got a stable job.. can take care of herself.. she seems really mature.” Price shrugs. “I know it seems weird that she’s so young, but women mature a lot faster than men.” Captain Price nods. “You’re both consenting adults, who are responsible and can take care of yourselves.. I know you’re afraid of being hurt.” Captain Price sits up. “But you’ll never find your forever if you don’t put yourself out there and be vulnerable for others.” He smiles. Simon nods his head. “I know.”
“You’ll have to bring her around, let me judge her myself.” He smiles. Earning a snort from Simon. “Yeah, Johnny said the same thing.”
Price stands up, patting Simon on the shoulder as he goes to exit. “You’ll never know until you try, Simon. Don’t give up just yet.” He nods.
Simon sighs when the door closes behind him. What the hell was he getting himself into.
Later that day, Simon had come home. He didn’t see you and decided to leave everything be for now. Deciding to watch a show and drink a beer. Give himself time to relax, as bad as he wants to spend this time with you. He sighs, hearing Paisley scratching at the door, whining. She’s pacing back and fourth. “It’s probably just a Racoon. Down girl.” He breathes. But she doesn’t calm down. “Paisley, please. Give it a rest darling. I’ve just let you out.” He groans.
Nothing seems to calm her. He stands up, setting his beer down. He makes his way over to the kitchen to discard his empty beer bottles, setting them by his sink. He glances up through his kitchen window for a second, when something catches his attention.
You’re talking to a guy.
Not just any guy either, your ex-boyfriend. Ghost feels himself stiffen up, eyes narrowing as he looks outside the window. It seems as if you’re having a normal conversation with him. Ghost quickly moves to the back door, cracking it open and holding Paisley back as she tries to force her way outside. “Stop, sit.” He growls.
“Look.. I’m sorry okay? I miss you.” He hears him say it. Ghost can feel himself tensing up. "You need to leave. I won't ask you again." You breathe. "And if I don't?" He sighs. "What are you going to do hm? Nobody will come for you. You're just a stupid girl Y/N." He can hear him. He can hear you laugh. "Go." He hears you growl. "I'll tell the neighbor if you don't go." Simon's smile is too wide upon hearing that. "The neighbor? What, are you friends now?" He hears him scoff. "Come on, let's just talk baby, I can take your mind off things for a while."
"Simon!" You yell, Simon stands up immediately, ripping his door open and stepping outside. He can see that he's got a strong grip on your upper arm. When he sees Simon step down the few concrete stairs, he lets go. "Seriously?" He can hear him scoff. "She doesn't need you, go back inside and mind your own fucking business." He growls. Simon makes his way across his lawn, crossing the gravel of your driveway. "She is my business. She is now." He crosses his arms. "And if you want to leave here in one piece, I suggest you get back in your car and drive as far away as you can." He says it casually. "Yeah? Or else what?" He asks, making Simon raise his shirt up over his hip, not only does he expose his insanely fit body and v-line, but there's a pearl gripped pistol sitting in his waistband. A whistle leaves his lips and Paisley bursts out of his house, bolting to stand next to him at attention, staring your ex-boyfriend down. "Go." Simon nods.
He scoffs, shaking his head. "What, you fucking him?" He looks at you, teeth gritted behind his pursed lips, you glance at Simon before looking back to the ground, swallowing hard. "Some virgin huh?" He shakes his head. "This is fucking stupid, don't even know why I bothered with you." He growls. He walks down the concrete path by your door, walking around and climbing into his car, speeding off. "Go home." Simon mumbles to Paisley. "Hey. You okay?" He asks. You nod your head. "Yeah.." You shake your head. "I'm fine. Just.. yeah." You breathe. "Cmon, I'll make you some tea." He tilts his head for you to follow him. You nod your head, following after him. He leads you into his back door, closing it behind you. You notice Paisley laying in her bed in the living room. "I didn't think you'd be able to hear me." You breathe. "Was worried for a second." You laugh nervously. "Paisley was stressed out, kept harassing me. I happened to notice.” He mumbles. “You were listening?” You ask. “Just.. making sure nothing happened. Suppose it’s a good thing I was though.” He reaches up into his cupboard, shirt rising until you could see the Pistol grip.
You’ve never been more sure of anything in your life.
“Simon?” You say, stepping closer to him. “Yeah?” He asks, turning to face you. Once he’s close enough, you lean in, kissing him hard, cupping his cheeks so that he can’t pull away. “W-woah.” He breathes. “Are you okay?” He asks. “Just kiss me.” You pant. He sets everything he has in his hand down, returning his lips to yours and moving you so that he could pin you up against the countertop, feeling you moan into his mouth. He reaches down, grasping the back of your thighs and lifting you up until you’re on the countertop. You rest your hands on the countertop, pushing your hips forward. Like you wanted him.
“What’s gotten into you?” He asks. You pull away, looking at him, reaching forward and raising his shirt up. Getting a good look at his gun. “Nobody’s ever done that for me before.” You look up at him, taking a deep breath. “What? Told some scumbag off?” He laughs. “Defended me.” You breathe. “Seriously? Not ever?” He asks. You shake your head. “Please keep kissing me, Simon.” You whine. He leans into you, kissing you again. Stiffening up when he feels your hand on him through his jeans. He groans into his lips when you palm him hard through them. He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” He breathes. “Yes.” You whine. You sit up, reaching with both of your hands to unbuckle his belt.
He reaches down, hand gripping onto the cool metal of the pistol, setting it down on the countertop. Leaning in to kiss your neck as you pulled his belt apart and started on his jeans. You can’t help but glance at the gun as it sits there. You’re starting to realize just what kind of man Simon is.
A strong military man. A guarded one at that. He’s nice but gruff, quiet and observing. And something you’ve noticed since meeting him, since Paisley got stuck in your fence.
He’s protective of what’s his.
“Simon.” You pant. “What baby?” He breathes.
“I want you.” You breathe. “But.. you.. you’re..” he looks down between the both of you.
“Please, I want you to take my virginity.” You whine. Pushing your hips out. He takes in a deep breath. “Are you sure?” He asks. You nod your head. He pushes his pants down his thighs just enough to reveal himself to you, hearing you sigh when you see the size of him. “S’alright. Will only hurt a minute.” He moves closer to you. He tugs your pants down, discarding them to the side somewhere. Seeing all of you once again. He spits in his hand, focusing it on the tip of his cock. “Are you sure? Once I take it, it’s gone.” He breathes. “I trust you. I want you to take it.” You pant. He pushes your legs open, getting a good look at you. “Just relax for me.” Your heart is racing and he can hear it thumping in your chest from where he stands.
“If you let me do this..” he trails off, circling your opening with his fingers again, going to take his time stretching you out before he takes what’s rightfully his. “You’re mine.” He leans into you. Lips ghosting over your throat, right where your jugular vein sits beneath the surface. “Simon.” You breathe out.
“I think I was always yours.” You look him in the eyes, watching him stiffen at your sentence. Eyes darkening as he stares at you. “Fuck.” He growls, gritting his teeth. He presses the tip of his cock up against your entrance, tip pressing between your sopping wet folds. He forces you to look at him, taking his time thrusting every inch into you. He holds your throat, not cutting off your oxygen but just enough to hold you still. When your eyes flick down to watch him sink into you, he growls. “Look at me.” He growls. “Keep looking at me.”
“Simon.. it hurts.”
“I know baby.” He breathes. “S’alright, just for a minute. One minute.” He pants. You’re so tight on him, he can barely contain himself. He finally closes his eyes, sighing out as he bottoms out inside of you, hearing you cry out. He leans into you, holding you steady as he slides out, rocking his hips into you. “It’s alright. I know it hurts.” He takes in a sharp breath, hating that you hurt so bad, but he felt so fucking good. He keeps a slow, steady pace. Letting you adjust to him. He notices a little bit of blood, but it doesn’t bother him any.
“Simon..” you’re breathless when you say it. “Hm?”
“Fuck me.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I can take it, please.” You hiss, pushing your hips into him.
He wraps his arms around your waist, holding you tight as he rocks his hips into yours faster, a little harder than before. Pushing your legs up as he slides deeper into you, hearing a gasp leave your lips. “Oh my god-“ you breathe.
He keeps up this pace for a few minutes, letting you get used to him. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you.
“How does it feel huh?” He pants, voice unsteady and desperate.
“‘M fucking your pussy.” He hisses, feeling you tighten around him. “Took your virginity.” He breathes. “How’s it feel?” He smiles. “It- it feels so good.” You whine. ”I feel so full Simon.” You hiccup with watery eyes. “Yeah? That’s how you’re supposed to feel. Supposed to feel overwhelmed and good.” He chuckles. He rests his hands on the undersides of your thighs, gripping you and keeping your legs open for him. Smiling when he sees you gripping the countertop like your life depends on it. He lifts his shirt up more, showing off more of his toned stomach.
“Fuck!” You cry, letting your head tilt back. He’s picking up his pace, getting you so close. You can feel swirling in your stomach, feeling something building.
A pant leaves your lips and you move up, trying to adjust yourself. “Simon. Feels weird.” You gasp. He lowers his hand to rub at your sensitive clit.
Just a little bit of that and you’re crying out for him. Clenching hard around him, your pussy milking him for every bit of his spunk.
He’s panting hard, moans unsteady as he approaches his orgasm. He’s going to cum hard.
He slides out of you last second, pumping his cock until he finishes on your stomach, groaning out, his body jerking as he finishes. “Oh fuck..” he whines.
After a moment of coming down from your highs, it finally hits you. You’d really just given this man, who’s way older than you, way more experienced than you, who you aren’t even in a relationship with. Your virginity. You’re staring at him with wide eyes as he cleans your skin of his filth, making sure you’re completely clean, even wiping down between your legs. He wants you to be comfortable. He sighs when he sees your nervous appearance. “It’s alright. I know.” He breathes. “Cmon, let’s go warm up by the fire.” He breathes. Lifting you up and bringing you with him to the couch. He sets you down, throwing a blanket over you.
You’re silent for a while. Not nervous or upset, more content than anything.
Simon is so caring of you, and he barely knows you. Which tells you everything you need to know about him. That he’s going to be the best thing for you. That he’ll take care of you. He finally sits down next to you after starting the fire. Throwing an arm around you so that you could lean into his chest. “I’m sorry if I took advantage of you.” He breathes. Hearing you laugh. “You didn’t. I’m a grown woman, I know what I want.” You smile. “Well.. good.” He smiles. “I just hope you don’t want it to be a one time thing.” You mumble.
“I was wondering the exact same thing.” He breathes.
“I know you just got out of a relationship and all but.. you’re mine.”
You smile up at him. “Always.”
“Oh yes, one more thing.” He mumbles, standing up and disappearing up his stairs for a minute, returning back down holding a box.
“Here.” He smiles. You take it from him, confused. “Simon.. I told you not to get me these.” You look up at him. “Open them.”
You open the box up, noticing a brand new pair of shoes. You can’t even imagine how much they probably costed. “Simon this is way too much.” You laugh. “You need new ones, I can help out. Let’s see how they fit.” He kneels down again.
“You’re doing too much for me already.”
He scoffs. “What I’m doing is the bare minimum. You’re just used to below average darling.” He laughs, tying the laces. You can’t help but smile at this.
“Thank you Simon.” You breathe.
“Always.”
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kingtomura · 2 months
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Cat and mouse
synopsis: Your ex boyfriend has some nerve texting you at three in the morning — an entire week after the disaster breakup you had. You should really go over there and give him a piece of your mind. Well, you know what they say about famous last words.  wc: 6.1k | crossposted to ao3 content: tomura shigaraki x female reader, no quirks au, toxic tomura, reader is kinda toxic too tbh, unhealthy relationships, breaking up and making up, vaginal fingering, overstim, breeding kink, piv, dubcon creampie, degredation, threats of baby trapping, hurt/comfort, sweet at the end idc
You’ve told your friends time and time again to stay out of your business. They never listen. 
“Oh my god, Kirishima? Is he even twenty yet?” You drag as you watch your friend flip through several pictures of the redheaded boy like he was a member of the bachelor. 
She smiles, scrolling her phone for more options, “no, but he will be in a couple of months!”
“No!” Your words are sharp. You love Mina but god, you don’t want her to play matchmaker with you. It’s not like you’re a charity case or something. 
She gasps and you swear you could see the lightbulb go off above her head. “What about Denki? He’s fun!” 
You groan, falling back onto the bed and covering your eyes with your arm. “Mina.” 
“Hey, just give her a break okay? It’s only been about a week.” Your saving grace Yaoyorozu speaks up and it’s nice to finally have someone on your side. 
“Thank you.”
“Seriously? So we’re just going to sit around and watch you mope about all day?” Mina questions, irritation clear in her voice and it grates your ears.  
“Preferably, yes! Just let me be.” You roll over, face officially shoved into your pillow. It’s been a rough couple of days and you haven’t gotten a single call or text from Tomura. Not that you should be expecting one. You broke up with him after all. 
It’s just.. this time feels different. Usually there’s more arguing and he’s fighting for you to stay around, but this time there was nothing. No quips, no insults, just “fine, get out then.”
That hurt the most. 
You had no idea what he was up to. 
Maybe he was as depressed as you were. 
Maybe he’s found someone else. 
The thought makes you stop in your tracks. The idea of Tomura, your tomura with someone else is enough to make you nauseous. 
You jump to your feet and rush to the bathroom, locking yourself in and falling to your knees. 
God, what if that was why it was so easy?
You pull out your phone, the device lighting up and unlocking with your facial id. 
Tomura doesn’t use social media much but you could still check to see if he’d blocked you. 
To your surprise, he hadn’t. 
He hasn't posted anything either and there’s no new person in his followers. 
You feel yourself exhale a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. No change is a good thing. 
There’s knocking on the door and you thank the stars you locked it. Your friends would judge you so hard if they saw you lurking through your ex’s social media. 
“Hey, are you okay in there?” It’s your saving grace Yaoyorozu again and you almost feel bad for shutting her out. 
“Yeah, I’m sorry if it feels like I pressured you! I’ll give you some space.” Mina's regretful voice calls and it makes your heart clench. You know she means well but she just doesn’t understand. None of them do. 
Whether you want to admit it or not, you love Tomura. 
Yes, you argue and yes, you fight, but he just gets you. He’s so cynical, but so caring — in his own special way. Too bad he was such an asshole. The argument wasn’t even supposed to go that far. 
There are tears beginning to blur your vision and you wipe them away, willing the feelings down and standing to your feet. 
If he wanted you to stay away, then fine. You could do that. 
You splash cool water onto your face and take a breath, steeling yourself and getting ready to face your friend once more. It was Saturday and they were convinced you needed a fun girl’s night.
It takes a lot to refrain from cringing at the phrase, but you believe they held some truth with the idea. You definitely didn’t want to be alone right now.
You unlock the bathroom door, meeting Mina and Yaoyorozu’s worried expressions with a smile. 
“We should probably get ready now, huh?”
Mina’s eyes light up, smile blinding and excitement contagious.
“Yes! Jirou and the others are here now.” She starts to clap, excitement buzzing around her, “Girl’s night is going to be amazing!” 
—-
Girl’s night was a bust.
The moment everyone arrived the apartment quickly filled with chaos. Noisy and busy, it was all giving you a headache. Until someone decided it would be a good idea to pregame before going out.
In preparation for the night your friend’s insisted that you get dolled up, hair makeup and skimpy clothes you wouldn’t look twice at on any normal day. 
You had to admit it made you a little more excited to get out and at least feel like your world isn't crashing around you. It was supposed to be a fun little night out. Somehow one drink turned into two, which turned into three which turned into Mina swearing she could beat everyone in a dance battle. 
The group only got more riled up as everyone indulged in this silly challenge. 
One challenge leads to another, which leads to more drinking, which then ends in everyone being too drunk to function and knocking out — all laid out in odd places around your living room floor and couch. 
The groggy feeling came first, your arms radiating in dull pain as you vaguely recalled trying to beat Mina in a contest of who could do the most push ups. It sure as hell wasn't you, but the drunk version of you thought it was possible to move mountains. 
You blink a few times, trying to will your eyes to rapidly adjust to the darkness of the room and find out what this odd buzzing noise beside you had been. Turning over, you find your phone, squinting as the too bright screen lights up your face and you see that it is three a.m.
You had fallen asleep with everyone else.
The phone buzzes again, lighting up and you have to squint further to read the contact name.
Tomura. 
Your eyes widen as you scan over the three texts he’s sent you. 
Wasting no time, you rush to your feet and into the bathroom so you can look at your phone without the chance of prying eyes overlooking your shoulder. Even though they were probably going to be out until late morning.
Tomura’s messages were short, no paragraphs, no essays but three different messages sent in succession. 
When are you coming to get your shit?
I’m tired of waiting.
And I’m deleting our farm btw. 
The first two messages don’t get much of a reaction from you, especially since it’s three a.m and he knows you’re usually asleep around this time. 
But the third message…
Your Stardew Valley farm that you’ve had and worked on together for almost two years being put on the line and threatened? What the fuck was his problem?
This farm was a constant in your relationship. Throughout the ups and downs and back and forths. You were sure that hell would freeze over before you both would give up that progress. But here he is, threatening you while you would have been asleep. What an asshole.
Your feet are moving before your brain can stop them and you make your way to the front door. Since your friends were all passed out it would be easy to sneak over to Shigaraki’s place, give him a piece of your mind and then sneak back. In and out, quick and easy. 
Your decision is made and you grab your coat, deciding to just go over there as you are. You hadn’t changed out of your outfit that was supposed to be for the night out, but it didn’t matter. You only needed to get over there and get there fast.
Once you arrive at Tomura’s doorstep you waste no time knocking. It’s around three in the morning so he should still very much be awake. 
There's a chill in the air as you wait for his answer and you wrap your jacket closer to your body. A rumble of thunder caught your attention and it's then you notice the rain clouds rolling in. You knew it would only be a matter of time before the bottom of the sky falls out and rain drenches everything. You were on borrowed time if you wanted to make it back before then.
After what feels like forever the door finally opens, revealing a very cozy pajama-clad Tomura, who seemed a little too pleased for his own good — if that sly smile he was doing a bad job at hiding was anything to go by. 
You don't give him a chance to greet you or say anything for that matter, stopping his words in their tracks as you cut him off. “What do you want?”
He doesn’t bother hiding his smirk now, the expression making your fists clench and your anger boil. “What do I want? You’re at my door, in front of my apartment.” He scoffs, clearly getting the exact reaction he had wanted from you, “I should be asking what do you want?” 
Caught like a deer in headlights. Whatever, you don't let that stop you as you pull out your phone to show him his text. “You sent this, I know you’re bluffing. What do you want?”
Tomura shrugs, leaning against his door frame and giving you a pleased look. Expression relaxed and content. Not a care in the world. “To talk.”
“Well, I'm here now, so let’s talk.” You spit, crossing your arms and waiting for whatever else he would throw at you. 
“Sure, but you should come in first.” He starts, looking up towards the darkened sky, confirming his assessment. “It’s gonna rain soon, you know.”
Of course you knew that. 
You just didn’t want to give him more time than you had. But you agree and go in, ignoring the fighting feeling in the back of your mind screaming at you to turn away and hightail it out of there. 
Tomura’s home is the exact way it was the day you left, give or take a few more containers of takeout littered around the place. You have half a mind to scold him about it, but quickly remember that it isn’t your place to do that anymore. 
So instead you stay quiet, following him into the apartment and into the living room. Opting to stand as he sat, and resisted the urge to get comfortable. 
“So, what do you want to talk about?” You try, done watching him pick up a controller and boot up a video game. Seriously? 
Your patience was wearing thin now as you watched him ignore you to play some stupid game. You try calling to him again, knowing this was probably a waste of your time and groans.
“I was in the middle of something before you got here. Let me finish and we’ll talk.” It's flippant the way he waves you off and continues the game. The lack of care only hurting your feelings further and making you realize this may have all been a big mistake on your part.
You shouldn’t be at your ex boyfriend’s house being ignored. You should be at your house getting drunk and hanging out with your best friends. There was no reason to stay somewhere you’re obviously not valued.
It’s a simple choice when you put it into perspective. 
But things are always easier said than done. 
You sigh, the air puffing out your cheeks, a bad habit you had when angry, and walk right in front of Tomura’s TV. There was more satisfaction in making him lose the game and then announcing your departure than just leaving quietly. 
He cranes his neck to see around you, but it doesn’t work, finally giving up as his character inevitably dies. “What!?”
“I’m leaving!” You announced, turning on your heel and heading towards the front door.
“You had to make me lose first? I said I was almost done!” He spat back, rising from the couch to follow you.
You shrug, “I don’t care. Why invite me in if you’re just going to ignore me?”
“Didn’t think you had the patience of a child.'' Tomura stands in front of you, cutting through your path and stopping you in your tracks.
It's almost comical the way he insults you. “Okay pot, meet kettle.” You try to brush past him, but he side steps with you. 
“What are you dressed like that for anyway? Did you go out tonight or something?”
“No!” You deny, a little louder than intended and then pause. “But it’s none of your business what I do anyway.”
Tomura hums at this, taking the words in and running them through his mind as he gives you a once over, eyes scanning from the too-tight shirt you wore — showing a generous amount of cleavage, down to your mini skirt that left little to the imagination. 
“Could've fooled me.”
“What do you mean by that?” You hate when he gives you cryptic answers, like it’s impossible to pry into his mind to see what he was thinking at the moment. 
“You knew you were coming to see me so I dont get why you're wearing that skimpy shit. Unless you wanted me to check you out.”
“Not everything is about you, Tomura. Maybe I just wanted to dress up and look nice.”
“Bullshit—”
“God, Tomura you always fucking do this!” You yell, walking right up into his face. The excitement in his scarlet eyes sends a chill up your spin, but you can’t back down. 
He gets closer, matching your tone and you can still see the grin he’s trying to hide. It makes you see red. “Do what? Tell you the truth? You know I’m not wrong.”
“Yeah, you think you know everything, but you don’t. I’m dressed up because I want to be, not because of you.” You’re insisting at this point, frustration threatening to tip over and spill out into the form of another pointless argument. Why did you think you could actually come over and have a decent conversation with him?
Tomura is a master at getting under your skin and hitting where it hurts. In all of your arguments he’s never really pulled out the big shots but you wouldn’t put it past him to do so now. 
“Oh, so you come over to my place dressed like a slut and you expect me to believe you don’t have some hidden motive?”
And there it is.
Your last straw. He could be so egotistical and mean — you’ve had it. 
You regret it the moment you do it, but your body moves before your brain can process your actions. You push Tomura. Hard. 
He doesn’t fall back far but you know it’s enough to piss him off. And he’s never been one to hold anything back, so he shoves you back and your back hits the wall. 
Tomura has you pinned before you know it and there’s a thrill that runs through your body in a way you know you shouldn’t be feeling. Your knees feel weak for reasons that are not related to fear and your panties were gradually becoming more wet. 
His voice is low and his eyes are narrowed as he pins you against the wall, pressing your cheeks together with his other hand. “You’re really starting to piss me off.”
You have to bite back a smile, knowing this has taken a turn and you aren’t strong enough to stop where it’s going. Not that you would want to. 
“Oh yeah? If I piss you off so badly then why are you hard?”
He doesn’t look down. He can feel his own arousal just as well as you can while it’s pressed against your abdomen. 
Tomura pushes off of you — maintaining some distance as he turns away. 
“You’re fucking annoying.”
“Sure am.” You supply, chipper and certain as you trail behind him. 
He’s walking further into the apartment, and you follow. Legs moving on their own accord as you go further into the lion's den, exchanging quips and insults. You jab your finger into his shoulder, bothered by the way he continues to ignore you, it's a pathetic attempt at catching his attention and it works. Kind of. 
The only response being him slapping your hand away with a glare and muttering a soft fuck off as he walked on. 
You both went back and forth. Like the sun and moon, you just can’t stay away from each other.  
It was how these things usually went between you and Tomura. He would start up, make a petty argument and you would never back down. Tomura is someone who was used to getting his way and others simply did what he said with no objections. 
But that was not how you were.
And he loved it.
You knew by the way he would get that devious glimmer in his eye when you would challenge a point, starting up a debate. Sometimes they were heated enough to make you both break up. It never lasted more than a few days. A week being the longest.
Push and pull. 
Tomura made his way past you again, ignoring your calls about how you hate being ignored. At this point you’re sure he’s doing it on purpose to rile you up more but you can’t help but take the bait. You grab his shoulder, forcing him to turn around and face you as you point a finger in his face. 
“Stop walking away from me!” 
He grabs your wrist and pulls you closer, making you stumble on your feet and almost lose balance. You were so close you could feel the heat from his body and smell the fresh linen scent of his shirt. “Don’t tell me what to do.” 
You snatch your wrist away from him, tension between you two growing hotter by the second as the space between you got thinner. 
“What are you going to do about it?” 
The narrowing of his eyes only made your grin grow wider as you watched the gears turn in his head as he thought about just how many things he would do about it. All of it enticed you, so you beat him to the punch. 
You reach forward again, fully intending to shove his shoulder again for another reaction, another glare, maybe even more words, but he stops you. It was fast, the way you both tumbled through the hallway as Tomura crashed his lips to yours. The relief of finally feeling his lips again meshed with the excitement of how rough he was with you. 
You lose yourself in the kiss, welcoming him in with open arms as you vaguely register the dark walls of his room and posters plastered along the walls in your scuffle.
It was exciting, probably the best part of breaking up and making up. At this point you think the whole point of falling apart is coming back together again. An endless cycle where the reward is worth the punishment. 
Cat and mouse. 
You end up on top of him, straddling his hips while your smug smile beams down at him. Tomura gives you an unamused look in return, yet the way his hands rested on your thighs gave away the ill hidden interest. It was all the encouragement you needed as you leaned down, hovering above him with both hands on his chest. 
“Not so tough now, are you?”
It’s bait. You know it’s bait, he knows it’s bait, but he takes it anyway — the way you knew he would. 
Tomura wastes no time flipping the both of you over, quickly reversing your positions as he settled himself between your legs. It’s dangerous the way his actions riled you up further, and you have to bite your lip to keep the smile from betraying your false anger. You couldn’t let him know how excited you were to be back in his bed. 
He presses your cheeks together and rocks your head left to right, tone mocking and eyes wild with fever, “Oh, look who’s become a firecracker all of the sudden. Where did that flame come from, huh?”
You want to respond, but Tomura beats you to it, releasing your cheeks and pointing a nimble finger against your forehead, “Don’t be dumb.”
His eyes trail from yours and then down to your lips, then finally down to your exposed cleavage. The movement was swift as he cupped one of your breasts in his hand and dipped down, claiming your lips again. It was softer than the first time but not by much, especially not when he matched his pace by grinding his clothed erection into you, making you moan at the contact. 
Your skirt was so short and it made you feel even more exposed than you already were. Tomura had easy access to you and the thin fabric of your panties made everything feel so much closer. 
You moan at the contact, swiping your tongue against Tomura’s bottom lip and wasting no time deepening the kiss as you pull him closer. You needed more and you needed it as soon as possible. 
Tomura pulled the low cut front of your shirt down, easily exposing your breasts from the confines of the shirt and massaged them, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles against your nipples and making you cry out from the sensitivity. 
He pulls away from you, eyes gazing into yours and you swore in that moment he put you in a trance. Tomura’s ruby red gaze always left you mesmerized and you can’t help the whimper that leaves your lips, brows furrowed and eyes wanting, “Please.”
“Please what?” And he’s not taunting you, he’s not mocking you. His eyes are soft as he brings a hand to your cheek. “Tell me what you want.”
“You.” Fuck, you’ve missed him. “I just want you.”
There’s a hint of a smile on his face as he strokes your cheek, soft look in his eyes making your heart flutter, and then it’s gone. Replaced by a hardened gaze as he moves to remove your shirt and bra, fully exposing you to his hungry eyes, and then moves to remove your short skirt. 
His hands hover there for a moment, debating whether or not he should keep it on and fuck you in it, but then decides against the idea and pulls it off, taking your soaked panties down with it as well. 
The air in the room feels cool against your skin as you shiver in anticipation. 
“Fuck,” Tomura whispers, now eye level with your cunt. You gasp as he runs two fingers between your wet folds and holds the digits up to show you. Syrupy clear slick clung to them, slowly trailing down as Tomura rose back up, eye level with you once more. 
“You’re so wet…” He murmured, bringing the digits to your mouth and you opened, taking them into your mouth and tasting yourself. You kept eye contact as you watched his eyes widen in delight — Tomura loved it when you put on a show for him.
There’s another moment of Tomura pressing against your tongue with his fingers and then he pulls them out, opting for a kiss in exchange, his tongue dipping into your mouth and groaning  as he could taste what’s left of your slick on you as well.
The pleasant feeling and linguid action of your movements made your shoulders relax as you practically melted into his soft bed, the feeling of his body above yours bringing you mountains of comfort. It was a distraction, of course. 
You felt the same two of Tomura’s fingers prod at your slick entrance before pressing in fully and all the way down to the knuckle. The stretch was intense but the pressure was euphoric, making you squeeze your eyes shut and grip him closer. 
He didn’t make you wait long as he pumped his fingers, quickly finding that sensitive spot so deep inside of you that only he could pinpoint and brushing against it over and over. 
The feeling was so good it made you pull away from the kiss to breathe, thighs twitching and toes curling in pleasure. You wouldn’t last long like this.
“Tomura, fuck..!” You moaned, drowning in ecstasy as he continued his abuse of your spot, never letting up or slowing down, aiming to make you cum as quickly as he could. It was obvious he wanted you to come undone as soon as possible by the way he watched your every expression. 
The way your brows furrowed to the way you bit your lip. Tomura eagerly drank every expression and gave it back to you in the form of pleasure. 
“What?” He started, unphased by your dilemma, “Gonna cum?”
It took a lot of focus and effort, but you nod — done with fighting for the night and accepting the fact that you will come apart quickly. So you give in to the pleasure. 
Tomura smiles, a devious grin splitting his features as he curls his fingers, hitting the spot one more time for good measure and you lose composure, your climax crashing into you like a tidal wave. There was nothing you could do besides ride the feeling while holding on to Tomura tight — like you would get swept away if you didn’t. 
He fucks you through it with his fingers, eyes never leaving your face as you come down from your high. 
“Pent up, huh?” He questions, and this time there is that little hint of teasing. It brings you back to reality. 
Yes, you have been pent up. You haven’t been able to get off to anything since you’ve broken up and it’s been hell. 
You have no time for the games, you just want him and you want him now. 
So, you take Tomura’s face in your hands, making him look you in the eyes. The flecks of black in his carmine eyes always makes you remember why you come back. Every single time. 
“Fuck me, please, Tomura.” It's soft and filled with desire that you cannot be bothered to hide, and Tomura has never been one to deny you.
He quickly discards his own clothes, making sure to not stay away from you for long. His cock is hard and leaking precum from the head as he strokes it in preparation. You feel giddy at the thought and watch as he slides the head of his cock between your folds, coating it with your slick, and rubbing against your clit. The action makes your hips twitch up towards him. 
He loves to tease and make you wait, but today he doesn’t make you wait long. Tomura leans down after lining himself up with your entrance and places his free hand behind your head, right above the nape of your neck. His hands were warm and the feeling of those hands cradling your head felt so comforting in the space of his familiar dark bedroom. 
You bring a hand to his hair, tangling your fingers in his ashen locks as he pushes forward. The stretch makes you whimper and Tomura captures your lips in a kiss again, swallowing the noises and releasing a groan of his own as your walls tighten around his cock. 
There's something about the way Tomura drags his hips, the way he starts off at a slow pace, winding you up as he steadily increases his speed and force. It happens so gradually that you don't realize you’re screaming his name until he tells you to shut up — threatening to cover your mouth because he didn't want his neighbors to hear how much of a slut you were.
It drove you mad the way he said it all with a smile and fucked you harder. Almost daring you to be louder so he can punish you with a hand over your mouth.
Tomura knew how rough you liked it and he always delivered, giving you back arching pleasure as he pounded into you. It leaves you gasping and struggling to keep your voice down. Your hands find the surface of his back, trying to hold on as much as you could with building pleasure on the horizon. 
“Tomu— Tomura..! Please,” you cry and he doesn’t miss a beat, driving his cock so deep against your sweet spot it makes you see stars. “Fuck..!” 
“Yeah, that’s it.” Tomura cooed, eyes filled with mischief as he brought you closer to the edge. “Cry for me.”
And you do, your body feeling euphoric as the feeling buzzed up your spine and filled your brain with the fuzz of ecstasy. 
“What are you gonna do, huh?” He starts, his hips grinding against you, the closeness of his pelvis rubs against your clit, making you cry out again, “What are you gonna do when I breed this pretty cunt and make sure you’re stuck with me forever?”
He’s bluffing, you know Tomura doesn’t want kids. He’s just trying to gauge your reaction. Your dedication. 
“Tomura…” You only moan, breath catching as he hits that spot inside you that he knows so well. 
Tomura is smiling, wild and devious, as you look up at him with glossy eyes, so close to crying from the feelings, “I’m gonna do it. I’ll make you mine forever and you can’t do anything about it.” 
“Ah!” You should stop him, tell him to calm down but he has your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your back arching off of the bed. Everything is blurring together and you can only slur words as the drool from your earlier kiss trails down your cheek. 
You are completely at his mercy like this and you know your friends would be beyond disappointed.  
It just feels so good the way his cock drags in and out of your body pulling moans and whines from your throat. He was relentless in the way he pounded into you — beyond the point of being soft and slow because he knows that’s exactly you like it. 
“Say you want it.” The command comes with the slowing of his hips and you whine, high and needy as Tomura slows to a near stop.
“Tomura, I—“
“Say you want it or I swear to god I’ll stop right now.” It’s a threat and you don’t want to find out if he’ll go through with it. Tomura never goes back on his word. 
“No, please, don’t— I want it!” you pant, frustrated and aching for more movement.
“I want you to,” you stammer, desperate to have your release. “I don’t care if you cum in me. I need you so bad.”
“That’s my girl,” He coos, dipping his head down onto your shoulder, “Fuck.. love you s’much”
You stop — you’ve never heard him say that. Ever. You doubted he would ever say it since it’s been so long. 
He doesn’t give you a chance to ruminate on it because he's picking up the pace again and giving you the friction you were so deeply in need of. The feelings are swimming in your head as your cries reach new heights. Tomura is too far gone to stop you or care and you’re thankful. You couldn’t stop yourself if you tried. 
The build of your orgasm crashes down and sends you with it, making your thighs quiver in pleasure and your eyes squeeze shut. Tomura’s mouth meets yours before you could cry out, the warmth of his tongue guiding you as he fucked you through it. 
He didn’t last long after, the way your walls tightened around him with the force of your orgasm has Tomura’s pace erratic as he chased his own high. 
The bed shook as Tomura finally finished, hips stuttered as he released inside of you, hot seed coating your insides and making heat rise to your cheeks. He really did it.
You watch as he slows to a stop above you, his eyes closed as he enjoys the feeling of release. Tomura’s breathing was heavy and you couldn’t stop yourself from bringing him down into another kiss, traveling from his lips to his cheeks and then back again. 
It was intimate and you were worried it may have been too much, given the reason you were both in this situation was because of a stupid breakup. 
Tomura’s pulls out of you, making you wince and taking the feeling of being so full away from you. He doesn’t go far, opting to stay on top of you and rest his head on your shoulder, wanting to keep you as close as possible. 
“You really piss me off.” He mumbles into your shoulder, out of breath and tired. “God, why can’t you just stay with me.”
“Tomura…” Your hands run through his hair, the sweat is making it stick to his forehead as you wait for him to keep talking. 
“Stop leaving me.” His voice is firm, unwavering.
“You told me to go.” 
“I didn’t think you fucking would. I would never actually want you to.”
“I can’t read between the lines Tomura, I’m not in your head.” You make him look at you this time, pulling his hair a little to get him to raise his head. “Did you mean it?”
“I just said I didn’t—“
“No, the other thing you said.” He gives you a look of pure confusion and you lose a little bit of hope, “when you said you loved me?” 
You stare into his carmine eyes, hoping, praying it wasn’t just pillow talk from the heat of the moment. 
He looks at you for a long time, frustration still wearing on his features. If you didn’t know any better you would say he was pouting. “Of course I meant it. I’ve always felt like that.”
“But you’ve never said it!”
“I show it!”
“How?” This is getting frustrating and going in circles. 
He groans, sitting up and taking his warmth with him. “I’m not going to sit here and list everything I’ve ever done for you. I don’t think it works like that.”
You open your mouth to counter, irritation on your tongue because that’s not what you meant, but Tomura stops you again. 
“I don’t know how to explain it, okay?” He shakes his head and sighs, laying next to you on the bed and looking up at his ceiling. “It’s weird. I have these strong feelings, but it’s not hate, it's not anger. It's the opposite of that.”
You stare at him as he focuses ahead, keeping his eyes trained on the uninteresting ceiling above.
“Father said it’s a weakness and I should feel that way but,” There’s a pause as he looks away from the ceiling, meeting your eyes finally, “if it’s so weak of me, then why are the feelings so strong?” 
Your heart aches. It's clear that he’s torn, and with the strange way he was raised you know that he can’t help the way he is. 
“Tomura…” 
“And it won’t go away. I can’t fight them down or push them away like I can with everything else. It eats me up and I… guess I lash out because of it.” He shakes his head and for the first time Tomura looks defeated. You’ve never seen him this way — he’s always been filled with confidence and self assured. “I just don’t know what to do.”
You bring a hand to his cheek as you press your forehead against his. It kills you that this is what’s been on his mind and you aren’t sure what you could do to fix it. Maybe there was nothing you could do, physically, but you would do your best to be there for him emotionally.
“Sometimes,” you try to be careful with your words, knowing how much Tomura looks up to his foster father even though the man has been nothing but strange to him. “People say things that aren’t true because they don’t know how to live with it.”
Tomura’s guardian cannot live with love nor the idea of it. 
“That doesn't mean you have to live that way.” 
And it’s the truth. 
Tomura doesn’t say anything, just watches you with heavy lidded eyes, ruby red nearly glowing in the low light of the room. He was so much more than what people thought they knew of him and you didn’t care if it took time for others to see that.
He leans in, closing his eyes and you meet him halfway into a kiss. 
It's warm and it's soft and you know that even when your phone is buzzing from dozens of missed calls and texts from your friends, it will be fine. 
You and Tomura would take things one day at a time.
1K notes · View notes
halfagone · 3 months
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One of the things I love the most about AUs where Danny moves to Gotham City is how easily he fits in. There are AUs where Danny makes a statement and gets noticed for the great guy he is and I enjoy those too, but I love the AUs where Danny fits in as if he's always been here. Where he doesn't stand out, doesn't make a statement.
There is something so quietly compelling about this transition in Danny's life. Danny has always stood out in a negative way. His parents are the town hacks, his sister is a genius that he'll never compare to. Friends who create rallies for their respective causes and actually makes people listen. Even amongst the outsiders, Danny sticks out like a sore thumb.
Danny likes Paulina because it's safe. Anyone would have a crush on the most popular girl in school. That's expected, that's normal. Of course he wants to be popular, what kid doesn't want to be popular?
The A-Listers stand out, not because they're particularly special, but because everyone else has set the standard that only they can reach. They present these kids as what every student should be, and everyone else is just failing to reach their level.
Danny has always striven for normalcy but the only way to achieve it is to fundamentally change who he is and he can't. No matter how hard he tries he can't be that person. He can try, and god has he tried, but he can't change who he is.
And then Danny moves to Gotham.
You can use all sorts of reasons for the move. Maybe this is a scenario where a reveal goes sideways and Danny has to flee. Maybe he has a bad breakup and he wants a fresh start. Maybe he's going to college out-of-state. Maybe he received a promotion at work and his boss wants him to manage the new Gotham branch.
No matter what reason you use, it all leads back to square one. Danny is in a city where he hardly knows anyone, but has heard all the horror stories for. The crime here is nothing like he's ever experienced before. At least with the ghosts, Danny knew they were coming thanks to his ghost sense. He doesn't always get the same courtesy with Arkham breakouts.
But he adapts. It's his specialty. He adapts to new powers and new enemies all the time, he can adapt here too. Human crime might not be his specialty but he knows how to protect himself. And for once he doesn't stand out for it.
Danny is paranoid and hypervigilant? Don't worry, most people here are. They have to be. Danny has scars on his knuckles from fighting ghosts? That's not the mark of a troublemaker, that's the mark of a survivor. Danny keeps a metal baseball bat by his front door? Okay, maybe that's a little strange; most people keep their weapons by their bed.
The point is that all these habits ingrained in Danny's psyche aren't out of place in Gotham. Here, no one thinks strangely of his behavior because they've all developed habits to help them survive. There is a different normal here in Gotham, a different standard, and for once Danny can reach it.
For once Danny is normal and he didn't have to change himself in any way to achieve it. It's proof that there was never anything wrong with him. He just didn't fit in with Amity Park anymore, but there is a place out there where he can.
Gotham City might not have been the home he grew up in, but it's accepted him more than the one he left behind. On the outside, this community might seem rough and harsh and brutal. But these people understand Danny better than anyone else could, because they know what it feels like to fight every day just to survive.
And I think there's something so cathartic about leaving one home, and all the fears that come with that, only to find a better one you never thought you could have.
I don't know. It's just so personal to me.
1K notes · View notes
saerins · 1 year
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─── & 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍
+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 4k | content: slight angst, established relationship, friends/exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, breakup, mentions of jealousy, implied adults here
notes: DISCLAIMER I HAVENT WRITTEN PROPERLY IN A WHILE so it’s probably quite shitty but i missed him ok !!! T_T sobs i hope you guys like this one <3
summary: sae’s still learning the ropes on being in a relationship, and sometimes you think you can’t wait any longer. but this is itoshi sae, maybe you can.
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sae hates this sickly tension in the air.
your brows are furrowed and you’re biting your lower lip; it’s the look of confusion that he’s not very used to, but is most aware of anyway. it’s the look you always carry when you’re upset and conflicted and you’re trying not to say any more than you already have on the off chance that you’d cry after you do.
it’s not your fault for getting jealous—sae knows that. all it is is an unfortunate byproduct of him not being around as much as you need him to. but in his head, his mind tells him one thing only: how can you expect him to when that’s what his career entails?
didn’t you know that before agreeing to be his girlfriend?
maybe you’re painfully aware of how it’s neither of your faults, and maybe that’s why you’re really confused. because there’s no one to blame. sae wasn’t to blame for having to show up at an event with some famous actress. he was doing his job. he had told you not to go, but somehow oliver had taken it upon himself to invite you anyway.
“i’m at every event with a different girl, the tabloids wouldn’t suspect a thing about her being your girlfriend, right?”
famous last words because sae’s going to have to kill him one day for that.
beside you on the couch, sae’s head falls to his hands, elbows propped on his knees. it’s not your fault either, he realises, for not being able to take it when you experience firsthand how people gush over him and saiko, the actress. you aren’t used to this life. maybe you shouldn’t have to.
“i don’t know what to do anymore, sae.”
after an entire hour of arguing how he should at least talk to you about these things instead of throwing them under the rug, after an entire hour of how sae tried to defend himself by saying he couldn’t possibly read your mind—you’re both exhausted.
“well i don’t fucking know neither,” he confesses, half snaps, and his head is still in his hands. he knows you’re looking at him, wanting to search his expression for answers that he can’t give verbally. but sae doesn’t want you to see him like this, unsure and conflicted, almost as much as you.
through your eyes, you’ve never felt more rejected than you do when you look at your entire world and see it refuse to let you in. his hair is a mess now, from running after you in the rain, his expression is unreadable and his clothes soaking through his body. sae is always like this when there’s a fight—always avoiding the hard conversations.
and maybe you would’ve let it slide if you’re sure of his feelings for you, but you’re not. you’ve been friends with sae for three years, been together with him for six months. but in all this time, he’s never actually told you how he feels for you. not a small utterance of his love, or any indication of his feelings through text.
no matter how strong or optimistic you are, you aren’t sure if you can last any longer like this.
“sae, can you answer me honestly?”
he doesn’t say a thing, but you know he’s listening. he always does. which is why it hurts even more when he doesn’t do anything whenever you argue. because you know that out of everyone, itoshi sae best knows what you need.
but he won’t do it.
“do you still want this?”
a suffocating silence blankets the room, and after an agonising two minutes, you get your answer in his silence.
slowly, you get up off the couch, and you can almost laugh at why your impending departure is the only thing that can make him look at you.
“i’m sorry, sae, i can’t do this anymore,” you tell him, smiling even though you’re crying, and for a moment, the way he widens his beautiful teal eyes and how he instinctively reaches out to grab your wrist almost breaks you. but you’ve decided, and it’s too late now. “i’ll find an apartment and move out as soon as i can.”
when sae watches you retreat to your shared bedroom and lock the door, he realises by the plunging of his heart that he’s not okay with this. that he’s not okay with letting you leave. it’s stupid why he can’t even find the fucking words to say because he does, he does want this.
that’s why he rushes to the door, knocks rapidly in succession only to hear silence in return. and now he knows exactly how you feel. you’ve always been the vocal one, always been there—armed with your assurances that you never realised he needed, coupled with your smile that drives every negativity in his head away.
“y/n, open the door,” sae tries, but you don’t respond. he hears the tap switching on and he’s cursing himself in his head. his forehead presses against the white wooden surface, unable to bring himself away. “y/n, talk to me.”
for the first time since he met you, you don’t listen.
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the next morning is even more torturous than the night sae spent not sleeping.
when you finally come out of the room, you feel like a stranger. your hair’s done up, your makeup fresh, the smile on your face is still gone.
“morning.”
your eyes flick up to meet his as you walk to the kitchen, but they don’t light up like they used to. he can see you swallowing the lump in your throat before you choke out a good morning in return, though it’s strained.
have you been crying all night?
“listen, can we talk about last night?” sae asks, but it’s futile.
the way you close the fridge door carelessly sits uncomfortably with him, only because he feels like he recognises you even less. the way you smile after that is so forced he would rather you didn’t.
“oh right, about that, good news,” you try to sound chirpy, but it settles awkwardly between the both of you. “i managed to find some listings, so i’m gonna go check them out. fingers crossed i’ll be out of your hair soon!”
you’re prancing around the kitchen like a madwoman, humming tunes he doesn’t know and playing the part of not you all too well.
“y/n, i don’t want you to—”
“stop, sae,” you cut him off, heart broken and head buried in the cupboard.
he saunters to your side, not daring to get too close to you, afraid you’d just retreat further away. “tell me what i can do.” a part of him wants you to ask him that question again, so that he can answer now. so that he can tell you how he really feels.
but it doesn’t come. you’re just staring blankly at the wall.
when his gaze falls to your neck, he realises that necklace he gave you isn’t there like it used to be everyday. his heart sinks even further. “you’re not wearing it anymore?”
it’s stupid of him to expect you to. as of last night, you both were as good as broken up, after all.
“y/n, can we talk? i really—”
“sae, enough,” you utter through gritted teeth. “i don’t want to hear it anymore.”
—love you. that’s what he wants to say. but you’re past caring, it seems.
sae’s lips are sewn tightly shut after that, both of you eating breakfast in silence. you’re eating what you cooked, some sausages and a sunny egg and toast while sae’s stuck with cereal because you usually do all the cooking.
you don’t look at him, and he doesn’t look at you. the hands on the analog clock are all either of you hear aside from your own chewing.
“at least let me drive you,” sae says as you head for the door, slipping into your sneakers.
your hand hovers over the doorknob, as though you’re considering it, and for a minute sae is hopeful, but then the next minute, you pour water over his fire.
“it’s fine, i can manage fine on my own.”
for some reason, sae feels like you’re telling him that for much more than just today.
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days pass and you’ve barely spoken two words to each other. sae finds himself taking the chance to look at you much more than he has before; you still look tired. maybe it’s from all the house visiting, or maybe it’s the outcome of being with him. he’s still not okay with you moving, with you not being in his life, but sae’s stuck at a loss of what to do.
you’d been spearheading this relationship all this time that now, sae has no idea what to do. any attempt at a conversation is thwarted by you, and any time he comes near you, you relegate to the room and lock yourself in there.
sae’s taken his necessities and moved to the guest bedroom, and he thinks it’s so stupid to think that sleeping in a different room is better than being at a different apartment altogether.
but how long until you find a suitable apartment and move out? how long until sae has zero chance at being able to see you again?
“that sounds like a you problem though.”
as sae sits across the booth and deadpans at his younger brother, he thinks maybe the most useless thing you’ve ever done is repairing their relationship. especially with rin mumbling useless shit like that.
“yeah, thanks for the help,” sae rolls his eyes, watching as rin pops a nugget into his mouth.
“why didn’t you answer her then?” rin surveys his older brother’s movements; uncomfortable, awkward, reserved. he’s amazed that anyone can get sae like this, if he’s honest. he doesn’t usually give a shit about anything that doesn’t concern himself.
sae sighs. if he knew, he wouldn’t be here. he’d be with you, trying to explain how fucked up he is and why he didn’t say shit when he should’ve. but now, you won’t even give him the chance to talk without shutting yourself away.
rin groans, thoroughly annoyed because unbeknownst to his brother, you’d already filled rin in on everything. besides, you’re kind of already like a sister to him anyway. and you’re better at being an older sibling than sae is, granted.
“do you still want her though?” rin asks. it’s kind of tiring, being in the middle, being told by both parties to not say a thing to the other. he’s also tired of sae and his cryptic messages when he wants advice but is too proud to outright ask for it. and also of you whining in his messages about how if sae keeps this up you can’t keep being strong about this anymore.
“yeah.”
sae’s answer is surprisingly simple, and rin is entirely unamused.
“yeah maybe i see why she left you.”
“excuse me?”
rin meets his brother’s gaze, unrelenting. “you still want her yet you’re here telling me about it instead of her. i think you’d win best boyfriend of the millenia award.”
rin is dripping with sarcasm and maybe if he wasn’t his brother sae would’ve already punched him. but by the end of the night, sae can only come to one conclusion; it’s his fault for not talking it out when he could. so he could either let you go, or try, just like you did before.
he’d have to do it tonight, unless he wants to wait another month after his match next week in the states. but if he does, you’d be gone by then, he knows it. so he has to make it tonight.
and he’s hopeful, because he’ll make it fucking work no matter what he has to do. he’s not going to back down that easily, not anymore. and he knows it’s late and it’s 11pm and you’re probably asleep but fuck, you’re just going to have to wake up when he pounds hard on the bedroom door.
which is exactly what he plans to do—wake you up, talk to you, and tell him how fucking stupid he is and that he’s sorry and he fucked up.
it probably won’t make up for all the times he failed to speak when he should’ve, but sae thinks it’s a start.
so he unlocks the front door and walks straight to your bedroom door, but when he reaches up to knock it, he realises it isn’t even locked. when he slowly opens the door, you aren’t even there.
sae knows what to expect, but he still opens the closet anyway. and all the drawers. and inspects the bathroom. but every trace of you is gone. even the photos in the living room that had been all framed up. it’s no longer there. you probably threw them somewhere.
fuck.
he’d chase you if he could, but you’re already long gone. his calls aren’t even going through—did you block him already? not even a goodbye note, nothing.
it’s useless, but he opens your chat thread anyway.
y/n, come back. i still want this.
but it reads undelivered.
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it’s a long shot. a very, very, slim chance.
sae tries to take it anyway.
a month later, the moment he touches down and puts his luggage back at home, he grabs his car keys and makes a break for your favourite hangout; a cosy family cafe at the edge of the city, near your workplace. he’s taken you there many times before on your request, and if there’s anywhere he’ll find you, he bets it’s there.
after a whole agonising month of trying and failing to talk to you, sae’s still going to try. fuck it if you reject him after that—at least he gets to say he tried.
he sits at the cafe from noon till evening, five hours of occupying the spot at the corner—your favourite one because you say it shades from the sun and it’s easy to wave the waiter over.
sae’s beginning to think that you’re not coming today, but then he sees a familiar figure strolling into the cafe. it’s not you, but it’s your best friend, suzuki, if he remembers correctly. suzuki, the one with the black hair and sharp blue eyes because the moment she walks in, she spots him in the corner, a knowing smirk on her face.
“what’re you doing here?” she asks, without a greeting first, because you probably told her what happened and she’s probably not very happy with him.
sae sighs, feeling stupid sitting here for five hours. although at least, she’s confirmation that you’ll be here soon.
“eating.” weak excuse, but whatever.
suzuki cocks a brow, “sure you’re not just a pathetic loverboy waiting for my best friend?”
is this embarrassment even worth it anymore?
before suzuki can say any more, sae hears a very familiar voice speaking his name, and there it is again—all the negativity seeped out of him in an instant.
“y/n, hey,” he greets, as though you haven’t been avoiding him this whole time.
on your part, you acknowledge him, which is way better than what he expected (you storming out and running away from him).
“what’re you doing here?”
sae wants to talk to you, but with suzuki’s eyes glued onto him, it kind of ruins the mood. still, this is the most you’ve spoken in two months and he’s not about to pass that up.
“i wanted to talk to you,” he says, keeping his voice down. “meet me after dinner?”
there is hesitance in your eyes, but your gazes meet again and for the first time since that night, sae is greeted with your genuine smile—“yeah, sure.”
just like that he’s taken back to three years ago when he first met you, when he first saw you smile at him and instantly knew that he had to have you, somehow. sae’s stupid to have hurt you however he did, he knows that now.
but now, selfish as it is, he can only hope that you haven’t moved on yet.
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sae puts your new address into his phone as you get into the car, fortunately agreeing to let sae drive you home.
“so, how’ve you been?”
it’s a stupid question to start with, and he hates himself for not getting to the point, but sue him; he’s still somehow afraid you’d shut him out straightaway if you knew what he really wanted to talk about.
your fingers rest awkwardly on your lap. sae can’t help but remember how they used to crawl over to the driver’s seat, resting on his thighs or teasingly curling his hair.
“i’m okay, finally left that job of mine.”
the one with the overbearing boss who micromanages way too much—yeah, sae remembers. he really wishes he’d treasured the little things more when he had them, like your small updates on your job and your family, or even the way you’d routinely text him everyday after work to see what he wanted for dinner.
“found a new one yet?”
you look out the window where you’d usually look at him. guess this is still awkward for you. “nope, but i’m working on it. i have a couple of interviews scheduled next week.”
“that’s nice,” sae responds, albeit half-heartedly because he’s never been good at conversations like these.
(on your end, you can’t help but realise how slow he’s driving even when there’s no other car in front of him. a part of your heart warms at the fact that maybe itoshi sae wants more time with you after all.)
“how about you? how was the match in london? heard you guys won by a huge margin.” (that’s a lie. you didn’t hear anything, you watched the match, stayed up late and all. nothing that sae needs to know.)
sae can tell you’re lying though, because you have that little habit where your ears twitch ever so slightly when you speak, and he chuckles softly. “it’s not a crime to watch my match, you know?”
your cheeks heat up—you really shouldn’t have asked anything at all. you whip your head towards him, sulking, “i didn’t watch it, okay?”
“sure, whatever you say,” sae tells you, feeling the tension lift off, feeling the normal you come back again. “how’s the new house?”
“it’s… okay. my roommate’s a little bit annoying but i can live with it.”
sae thought he could endure the small talk a little longer, but he can’t. not really. because the words just slip out of his mouth.
“then move back in with me.”
the car comes to a stop at a red light, and neither of you can look at each other. sae wonders if you’re just going to be impulsive and run out the door.
you don’t.
“it’ll be a little awkward living with an ex, don’t you think?”
“then all you have to do is get back with me,” sae answers, witty as you always remembered.
a moving car isn’t the best place to have this conversation, but if he doesn’t take the chance now, what if he loses it forever?
“i was stupid, okay? i don’t know why i didn’t say anything back then but the answer is yes, yes i do still want this- you.”
and it takes you aback slightly, because he’s never been one to be so vocal about his emotions. it kind of scares you a little too, how easily you fold when it comes to sae. it took everything in you to block his number that day, and everywhere else, and you’ve been hard at work trying to forget him, to the extent you’d agreed to room with some male even though you knew it was a bad idea.
but the moment you saw sae in that cafe, everything goes back to square one. and you’re kind of sick of lying to yourself—that the way you left didn’t leave a gaping hole in your heart, that the way you blocked him didn’t leave you chock full of regrets.
“maybe you should’ve said that before i left, then.” but you’re also stubborn, so there’s that.
sae pulls up outside of your new apartment complex right as the words leave your mouth, but his hand reaches out to grip your wrist after you unbuckle your seatbelt.
“i know i probably wasn’t a good boyfriend—” sae can’t bring himself to look at you as he speaks the words he thought would never leave his mouth— “but i promise i’ll work on it, ‘kay? just- don’t leave.”
again.
maybe in another life, you’re stronger than this. in that other life, maybe sae’s better at being expressive, better at reassuring you.
your eyes flick across the car to meet his, and he’s looking right at you, a sort of gaze that you’ve never really quite seen before—a mixture of both faith and fear. his grip on your wrist is firm, as if he’s afraid you didn’t believe him when he uttered those words.
“you make it very hard to stay broken up, you know that?” you’re pouting, hard, if only to try to keep yourself from smiling.
and the second you respond, the second he realises you didn’t reject him, his expression levels with that of a—how would you describe it, a golden retriever? as though he’s wagging his tail.
“so- you’re willing to give this a shot?”
you chew your inner cheek, “not so fast, hot shot. i’m not taking you back that easily.”
sae pulls back, cocking a brow, but he knows by the tone of your voice that his chance is at least granted. “what do you mean?”
you grin, “maybe i want you to chase me again, itoshi sae. can’t have you thinking i’m that easy to get, you know?”
your future boyfriend smirks, shaking his head. “you’re impossible, y/n l/n.” you hear nothing but fondness in his voice.
and just like the good boyfriend he envisions himself to be in the future, he walks you up to your doorstep, complete with giving a peck on your forehead when you arrive.
“how am i doing so far?”
“sae, it’s only been an entire elevator ride!” you laugh, sae pecking even more kisses onto your face. what makes this entirely more amusing is how he’s so straight-faced while doing it. “okay okay, i’ll rate you a six so far. you’re gonna have to do better on those dates you’ll ask me out on.”
he thinks you’re such a tease, but hey, he wouldn’t have you any other way.
when you open the door, you turn around to look at him, pressing your lips into a firm line before placing a quick kiss on his lips, making his heart skip two beats because he didn’t think you’d be so kind.
“see you soon, itoshi sae?”
sae nods, “yeah tomorrow.”
“someone’s eager,” you chuckle, though you agree to it. “see you tomorrow.”
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bonus: the next day
“itoshi sae, you’re too much.”
you’re lugging your suitcase behind you, sae carrying one of the heavier boxes. he keeps quiet, a sullen expression on his face.
“we could’ve at least waited for the movers to be available, you know?” you sigh as you get into the lift, sae pressing the topmost floor—back to the apartment you shared after a mere month of living on your own.
sae’s expression is now tilted towards you, and you don’t need him to speak to know what he’s thinking.
“do i really deserve the silent treatment for this?”
you’re not really arguing, but having a little disagreement. a small part of you is happy you get to do this with sae again, and not anyone else. that just means you two are that much closer, still.
“as if i’m gonna let you continue living there.”
you scoff, “what are you talking about? that apartment was completely fine!”
sae raises a brow, completely aware that you’re not actually back together but not being able to help himself nonetheless. because like hell is he ever allowing you to live there ever again.
“don’t fucking care, you’re not living with that michael fucking kaiser ever again.”
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bachissidehoe · 5 months
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“I already have a girlfriend, so stop asking me.”
“Oh you do? Congratulations Itoshi! Who is it?”
“Who is it Rin?”
“Who’s the lucky girl Rin?”
A bother. Rin thought saying something like that would get those damn reporters off his back. Why do they care so much if he has a girlfriend or not? He doesn’t even want one. But somehow not having one is worse than having one.
It may be best just to continue with the charade. Maybe having an actual real person to be his girlfriend would make them stop asking stupid fucking questions.
“Her.” He points to someone, a pretty girl he’s seen quite a few times. He knows her as a journalist for the Blue Lock organization, but he never cared to learn her name.
Seemingly, Rin’s charade worked. The reporters left him alone after that, finally allowing him to exist in peace.
However, Rin was not prepared for the aftermath of articles being sent to him, a meeting with his coach where he was considerably reprimanded, and a barrage of texts and calls from more reporters trying to get the latest gossip on the most famous striker in the world’s new relationship with a hot older journalist.
So he finds himself in her office the next day, his head down as she too reprimands him for involving her in this in the first place.
“That being said, it would make my ex jealous.” She states, leaning back in her office chair as if she’s a principal scolding a student.
And then the charade deepened, drawing new fans to the soccer scene who were just dying to obsess over a player x journalist fantasy romance story. Suddenly Rin realized he had caused the exact opposite of what he wanted, and now he has more reporters on his ass than ever. Who would have guessed that having a relationship would be worse for him than not having a relationship?
“You have to at least look like you want to be around me. People are wondering if we got in a fight.” She crosses her arms over her chest, looking at a picture from a newly released article on the two of them. Rin stands at least 4 feet away from her, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his gaze directed toward the ground.
“I went out with you. That’s not enough?” Rin rolls his eyes.
“No! We have to also look like we’re in a relationship!” She raises her voice, but drops it again when she realizes she may have been too harsh. “Just, you know, hold my hand or something.”
The normally expressionless striker suddenly finds himself beat red with his eyes wide. “Y-yeah. I get it.”
His fake girlfriend stares him down, refusing to let the short display of emotion pass them by. “Rin, have you ever done anything with a girl at all?”
“No.” He answers honestly.
“Ah, I see.”
That’s when she realized she’ll be taking the lead on this “relationship”. She finds herself both planning and coaching Rin through their “dates” and other public appearances, doing her best to prepare him for any questions they may be asked.
Maybe she’s taking this too seriously, but now they’re too deep to suddenly back out. She just has to go with it, wait at least a few months until she can announce a “breakup”. Hopefully then, that’ll be the end of it.
“I just want to let you know, it’s looking like at some point someone will ask you to kiss me for the camera.” She says, drawing her conclusion after reading the latest scoop on the two of them.
“I’ll just say no.”
“You’d refuse to kiss the girl you’re in love with?”
Rin pauses. “Hmph.” He understands his predicament.
“I figured we could just practice here, you know, since you’ve never done it before. That way you’re prepared.” She finds her cheeks growing redder, trying not to let the bottled up feelings from the last couple weeks get to her at a time like this.
It’s the same for Rin, who looks to the floor, the ceiling, and anywhere else besides her pretty eyes. Kissing her may be all it takes for him to acknowledge that maybe this isn’t as fake as he thought.
“Yeah. I guess that’s fine.” He finally answers.
So she balls her fists together, forcing herself to be mature about a measly kiss. “Look at me.”
He looks up with his eyes, though doesn’t raise his head.
So she lifts his head with her finger, just enough to bring it at an angle where she can meet his lips. He’s much taller than her, after all.
“Okay, just, close your eyes.” She whispers, they’re close enough now where she can hear his heart thumping and every short breath that escapes his slightly parted mouth.
Rin obliges, handing control over to his fake girlfriend, leaving his hands resting at his sides. He doesn’t know exactly what to do with them.
And she kisses him, just a lingering, closed-mouth peck. Her lips are so soft and warm, much different than kissing her cheek like he’s been doing for pictures. Even though it’s short, Rin can feel her hot breaths against his face.
“That was pretty good. There’s not much to it.” She says quietly, finding herself unable to move her hand away from its position under his chin.
“Hm.” Rin responds, his gaze still focused on the floor.
“Do you need to try again?” She asks, wondering if his lack of expression is due to him just not getting it.
“No.” He answers flatly.
“Oh.” His answer confuses her. Did he not like it? “Why not?” She can’t help but ask.
“I feel like I won’t want to stop.”
Continued in Part 2.
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hopleii · 5 months
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since you admitted it,
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content: tsukishima x fem!reader angst, breakup, cheating, fighting, trashy writing, not proofread, kinda ooc, swearing lmk if i missed some!
a/n: inspired by Babe - Taylor Swift!! I keep forgetting i have responsibilities on this account lolzies, anyways, I think this is my first time writing angst? also, i'm working on some requests rn so sorry for the delayyy :(
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you and tsukishima have been arguing for what seemed like hours now. yelling at each other back and forth, throat hurting from all the screams and explaining.
"for God's sake, I didn't do shit with her! how many times do I have to say that!?" tsukishima screams. there's this girl that's been making you uncomfortable, she was beautiful. her face so pretty almost as if it was carefully crafted by god himself, her voice so sweet and smooth like honey. you felt insecure.
tsukishima had been getting close with her, which wasn't a problem at first. so what if he was friends with her, right? wrong. eventually, tsukishima had been getting way too close, cancelling plans "because she needs help studying" or "she's not feeling well, I need to be there for her"
you were getting sick. though, you held your tongue. you stayed silent and let it slide, maybe they're just good friends, that's all. is what you kept repeating to yourself.
"why are you so mad that I'm hanging out with her, geez! you have guy friends and you hangout with them all the time, why are you suddenly mad at me and her just because you're insecure? you're always like this when we hangout!" he screams again. this was the first time you ever brought it up, what could he possibly mean by 'always'?
"stop dragging useless shit into this, tsukishima! you're not stupid so stop acting like it! you know that those gestures are more than friendly!" you scream back, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I have NEVER brought this up until now, why are you so defensive, kei?! why are you hiding things from me?"
"I'm not fucking hiding anything, okay!? what do you want me to do? she's my friend! I can't just stop talking to her even if I wanted to!"
bullshit.
"really? you can't?" you say through choked sobs "are you fucking kidding me, kei? you can't? you can't stop holding her waist? you can't stop cancelling plans just to go to her house? you can't stop kissing her when you think i'm not looking? are you kidding me?"
you were shaking with anger, you couldn't find the right words at that moment, you wanted to scream and cry and shout at him but you just couldn't.
"what the hell are you talking about? I can never do anything like that, especially not with her--"
"well now you can because we're over! I can't do this anymore, kei!"
silence fills the room for a few minutes, you clench your fists so hard you were shaking. but what really bothered you the most was the slightly relieved expression on tsukishima's face.
only punctuated by your ragged breaths and the remnants of your tears staining your cheeks. tsukishima's eyes widened, the relief he initially wore began to fade into a mix of shock and regret.
tsukishima's voice, no longer fueled by anger, now shaken with uncertainty. "wait, just, let's not make reckless decisions here. I didn't mean for it to come to this!"
your heart ached as you gazed into his eyes. at that moment, you questioned if you had done the right thing. but you knew that the doubt, insecurity, and pain that had been bottling up in you had pushed you.
trembling with a mixture of anger and hurt, you finally had the strength to confront him. "Kei, you need to tell me the truth. did you do more than just kiss her?" the words hung heavily in the air, and a knot formed in the pit of your stomach.
tsukishima's shoulders slumped even further, and he let out a long, heavy sigh. with a voice that was almost a whisper, he admitted, "yes, I did, but--"
you let out a quivering gasp, covering your mouth with your hands. utterly disgusted with what he just admitted. betrayal surged through your veins, overshadowing the pain that had been lingering. the air became suffocating, and you struggled to comprehend the reality of his admission.
"i'm leaving," your voice shaking as you fought tears that threatened to overflow again "i should've known..."
tsukishima's gaze dropped to the floor, unable to meet your eyes. "i... i didn't want to hurt you. i was going to tell you eventually...i just couldn't find the right time i--"
a bitter laugh escaped your lips, "you thought hiding the truth would spare my feelings? how could you?"
tsukishima started to get angry again, his ego and pride unable to handle the truth in your words. "fucking hell," he mumbles "i messed up, okay? i never meant for it to get this far. it just...happened."
your anger flared again, and you took a step back, distancing yourself from him. "no, tsukishima, it didn't just happen. you made choices, and you chose to betray me!"
as you turned to leave, his voice trailed after you, desperate and regretful. "i'm sorry, i really am."
but the apology fell on deaf ears. the door closed behind you, leaving tsukishima alone in the haunting silence of the room.
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noceurous · 10 days
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soon
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summary: seeing your ex after breakup is not that bad. right? warnings: alcohol consumption, swearing, toxic relationships, toxic behaviour, blood, angst, smut (18+), phone sex, oral (f receiving), some kinks, usage of petnames and nicknames (baby, little one, good girl, sergeant), open ending. minors dni. a/n: sorry for not posting sooner. i am trying to be more active. please leave comments/reblogs i appreciate them. divider is by @saradika
You raised your head at the loud knocking on your door. You headed there without hesitation just to stop knocking before the poor material would break. 
“I’m here!” you yelled just before you opened the door, ready to fight whoever was on the other side for making that much noise.
But you weren’t ready to see the large-built man looking at you. His eyes wide with desperation, his hands were clutching the deep bloody wound on his abdomen. You could see the red liquid peaking through his fingers and how paler his skin was from the last time you saw him.
He got inside before you could speak, crimson droplets dropping onto your dark wood floors. He headed to the kitchen immediately, knowing where you stashed the first aid kit. 
After closing the door you followed him to the kitchen. Careless enough to slip onto the bloodstains on the floor; marking your path with some parts of your footprint. The courage to speak came back to you when you saw how his red fingers rummage through the box
“Sit, I can do it.” Your voice must be slightly above a whisper, but he heard you. He hoisted himself onto the kitchen counter, lifting his shirt to reveal the deep gash.
You didn’t flinch. This wasn’t the worst wound you’d seen, but it was serious enough that he wouldn’t be here if it weren’t.
“Should I ask how this happened?” you murmured, knowing him too well that he wouldn’t give you any satisfying answer.
You rolled your eyes at his silence, tossing the dirty cotton pad into the trash. “You’ll need stitches,” you said, picking up the needle with steady hands.
Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath. You hated that you knew how to do this, all thanks to him coming to you instead of a hospital, trusting you over professionals.
You were glad to see your clear work. A result of patching him up after dangerous missions for years. “This will do,” you murmured as you pulled his top down. He didn’t say anything, just hopped off the counter and headed back to your door.
“What? Not even a thank you?” you snapped as you cleaned after him. Scrubbing off the half dried blood from your white marble. You knew better to expect him to give you something to unravel.
He could have just gotten it in a bar fight, if he had time left after the missions he was attending.
He stopped after you spoke up, turning back to you. “I thought you didn’t want me to talk to you anymore,” he said, arrogantly.
You shrugged. “I’d also like you to go to a hospital instead of coming to me in the middle of the night. Since you already broke one rule...” you explained as you took out the mop to clean the blood on the floor.
“You are closer. Would you really want me to bleed to death instead of coming to see you?”
Maybe.
You threw your hand in the air, “Can’t you teach this stuff to your girl? Besides, we both know you can’t die from this.”
“I am not seeing anybody.”
You bit your lip and gave him a nod, unsure of how to respond. It had been a few months since you last saw him. You could not remember the last time you hoped for him to come back. The nights you spent turning in your bed as he came to your mind, and not knowing what or who he was doing, seemed too far to you.
When you broke up, he didn’t give you any explanation except that he was not happy. He told you there was no one else, but he was too much of a flirt for you to believe him.
“Still, I’d prefer you to get actual medical care,” you said, pointing to his blood-drenched clothes.
His usual smirk appeared. “Maybe next time, if your place is farther.” You chuckled, shaking your head.
“Or at least try to stay away from trouble.”
“You know trouble finds me, little girl. I’m innocent.” You hid your smile as the familiar nickname brought back memories.
“Yeah, I’m sure the opponent from the fight thought the same,” you said. Your fingers brushed the top of his jeans, following the trace of the washed denim.
You didn’t realize how close you were until your fingers touched him easily. He was towering over you, his warm breath fanning over your face.
“Well, everybody is entitled to their opinions,” he said as he cupped your face, licking his lips as his thumb brushed against your cheek.
You tried your best not to look at his lips or eyes, which were famous for hypnotizing you. “I’ll see you soon,” he said, taking a few steps back.
Before opening the door, he took one more look at you and smiled. Your heart ached at seeing him at your doorsteps to leave again. You tried to come up with a reply but realized you were too late as he had already turned his back to you. 
Maybe this is better, you thought. He was always better at saying the last word.
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You held your breath as you pulled up the zipper of your dress. The fabric was tight, hugging your curves, and though it wasn’t the most comfortable, it made you look better than you had hoped.
A girls' night out would be good for you. You needed a distraction after seeing the bloody tools from the previous night in the trash. You couldn’t stay at home all night, hoping Bucky would come back to you injured. 
It was not healthy.
You felt your head lighten because of the alcohol finally entering your bloodstream. This also meant that your guard was down, and you were not expecting to see him with his arm wrapped around a girl’s shoulder, talking with his friends. 
Of course, he would appear when you least expect him.
“You okay, sweetie?” your friend asked, her eyes snapping back to you after sending daggers in his direction.
“Been better, but also been worse, so it’s okay,” you said as you looked down. You felt the familiar weight settled on your chest, burning and pressuring your lungs.
“We can leave if you want. No hard feelings.” She put on a soft smile on her face, her hand rested on your shoulder. 
You dropped your shoulders as you reached for your half empty glass. “No, I’d run into him eventually. Let’s not let him ruin this night as well.”
A few more drinks later, you had to go to the ladies' room. As you were washing your hands, you saw your reflection in the mirror.
You looked a bit flushed, not sure whether it was from the drinks or the anger coming from seeing your ex with another girl. 
You fixed your makeup slightly and opened the door to leave.
A cheeky smile and steel blue eyes have greeted you before you could make your way to your table. You weren’t surprised; you knew he would find a way to get into your radar. Fire and gunpowder, never good to keep them close.
“Are you here to make sure that I stay out of trouble, little girl?” he smiled as he cocked his head to the side.
“Can’t I get a night out too? Just like you’re doing...”You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest. 
His eyes scanned your figure, lingering on your legs exposed by the short skirt, and he licked his lips appreciatively. He was always a fan of short dresses of yours. “It’s sad that you never wore this dress to one of our night outs. To be fair, I’m not sure whether we could have the opportunity to leave the bed if I saw you in this.” He raised his eyebrows, eyes couldn’t leave your exposed skin.
“This is a new dress, for new opportunities.” You answered as he leaned over you, cornering you between him and the wall. He placed his hand on the wall next to your head.
“You’re too good to be playing those games with stupid boys. You don’t need a dress, just a smile is more than enough.” He was getting too close, you were sure if you leaned in just a little, your lips would be touching.
He sucked in his lower lip before he eyed you up and down again. “If you were mine again...” he muttered under his breath.
Before you could utter a word, you heard someone, probably his date, calling out for him. He took a step back, raising his hands. “I love these little meetings of ours. Looking forward to the next one,” he said as he placed a kiss on your cheek.
You felt like the air in your lungs escaped when you felt his cold lips touch your skin. His face lingered above yours after the kiss, just to see your reaction. “I can’t wait,” he whispered as he went back to his friends.
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It was the middle of the night. You dozed off after watching some movie on your laptop. An arm wrapped around a pillow and your cheek pressed on the other.
You groaned when you felt the vibrations under your pillow. You had forgotten your phone under the pillow before you drifted to sleep. You could not open your eyes fully to see the caller ID, just enough to press the answer button.
“Hello?” you mumbled, your other hand going to your eye, rubbing it gently. You hoped that it was not an emergency.
“Fuck, I’ve missed your sleepy voice.” His voice was enough to jolt you awake, making you sit up in bed.
“Bucky? What time is it?”
“Not late enough for me to call you.” He groaned under his breath. “What are you wearing?”
“Bucky—”
“You cannot dodge my question after I saw you in that dress. ‘Made me remember the old times.”
“Those times are old for a reason.”
“You can’t tell me that you don’t miss the time in California.” You bit your lip, recalling the memory of the two of you.
You begged your boss for a week of paid vacation days for you to have a summer trip with Bucky. As always you wore bikinis that covered very little, blaming the heat, and sunbathed next to him, trying to ignore his wandering hands.
He chuckled at your silence. “Yeah? That’s what I thought. I can still close my eyes and see you laying with the blue bikini bottom you wore.”
“And I couldn’t sunbathe properly because seconds later you were on me, and we ended up having sand everywhere.”
“Can’t blame me. You have a body that would drive a man insane.” You’ve heard him shuffle and the sound of a zipper. Knew pretty well where this was heading as you laid down. “Now be a good little girl and tell me what you are wearing.”
“The tshirt that says ‘cotton candy baby’.” You answered him. You swore you could hear his heart skip a beat and a second of silence proved you right. 
“The one that can’t even cover your butt?”
“It’s too hot, Bucky.” You whine, shifting in your bed. Your fingers dancing on your naked thighs, getting closer to the elastic band of your panties.
“Not hot as you wore that costume on my birthday, I didn’t fuck you enough that day.”
“I couldn’t sit for three days. You fucked me more than enough.”
“Could’ve been five with a pussy like yours. So tight and warm around me. Shit, it’s too hot isn’t it? Why don’t you take your top off, and squeeze a nipple for me? I know you don’t wear a bra to bed.”
It had been too long for you to protest him.
You chose to follow his order. Hoping this would help with your sexual frustrations too. Your nipples perked as they were exposed and you did as he said. Twirling a nipple between your forefinger and your thumb. A small hiss came from your mouth, which he could hear perfectly.
You could feel how drenched you are when he groaned in response. You could not help but hump the pillow between your legs, trying to take the edge off.
Your breath hitched when the friction passed along your clit, making your body jump up. “What are you doing little one, tell me?”
“I—I’m humping the p—pillow.”
“Yeah, still with your underwear? Take it off and then continue to hump.” You didn’t need him to tell you twice. You swiped it off with hooking your thumb on the band, changing your position for the better.
You knelt on the bed with the pillow between your thighs. Folding the pillow in half before regaining your position pantiless. You moaned at the feeling. “How does it feel?”
“Good.” You cried out, too embarrassed and too horny to talk properly.
“Not as good as my thigh? You loved riding me like a bitch,” You closed your eyes with the memories flooding into your mind. It was true you loved riding Bucky, in all ways imaginable. “...or not wet enough as my tongue when you sit on my face huh? You lost yourself and covered half of my face with your sweet nectar, remember?”
“Y—yeah! But your thigh is not as good as your face, Sergeant.” He moaned when he heard the name. He loved when he heard that from your mouth.
“Fuck little one I’m so close, get faster for me please. Let me hear those beautiful cries.” All you needed was his permission before you let yourself go and be loud and fast as you wanted.
Loud moans filled your room, you were sure your neighbors were not thinking nice things about you. All thanks to the thin walls. But you already passed the stage to care since all you could think was reaching to your orgasm.
“Cum for your Sergeant, little one!”
Your body vibrated with his thick voice over the phone. You fell on your knees and hands, panting.
He chuckled over the phone. “That was good. Nice to see I still have my charm on you.” He admitted before ending the call. You rolled your eyes at his reaction, tossing your phone at your night stand before fixing your bed.
You knew it was not going to be the last time. You just didn’t know when.
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You underestimated him. A big stupid mistake. Because it only took him three weeks to see you again.
But this time he didn’t stop himself.
He had you pinned against his wall, your legs wrapped around his waist and your mouth against his. You two left a trail of clothes and things that were either fallen or broken on the ground.
You two were only left with your underwear. His hands were holding onto your sides. “Tell me you don’t want this, and I will not see you again.” He said as he brushed his nose against your neck, pressing you on his erection.
“I can’t.” You whispered. 
“I’ll tear you apart, little one.” He chuckled. His lips pressing on the skin behind your ear. “Just like old days.”
His hands went behind your back. You whimpered when his hands squeezed your butt. “James!” You moaned as he used your body, thrusting into between your legs.
His cock moving between your folds, grinding against your silk coated panties. “Told you I wouldn’t stop myself.”
You forgot why you two decided to meet again. Was it to give back some of his belongings or take something of yours from him? Whatever it was you should have known better to step onto that trap.
He carried you to his bed. The old springs of his mattress squeaked with your weight. Quickly discarding your bra, and underwear. You moaned when his metal finger played with your clit. With just one cold touch, your brain stopped functioning. He knelt between your legs, pressing kisses along your naked chest.
“Things I will do to you.” He mumbled between kisses. Looking up to you. 
He dove back to your chest. Kissing and sucking your breasts. You hissed as he bit down on your swollen nipple. You raised your hips to rub yourself at his clothed hardness. 
“You talk too much but didn’t even wait for me to finish last time.” You snapped back, he chuckled. 
“Show me what you can do Sergeant.” You whispered on his lips, your finger twirled the chain around to pull him closer to your lips.
He broke the kiss to slide down. Leaving a trail of kisses along your naked body. “You’re so wet.” He groaned as he eyed your glistening pussy. He raised your legs by hooking his hands under your knees, and pulled you closer to him. “Look so good.” He said just before he licked a long strap. “Taste so good too.” He hummed, continuing to lick and suck.
Your body was too sensitive. And he was really good at what he was doing, it did not take you enough to finish. You came right on his face, seeing the stars. Your body tingled like it was your first orgasm ever. The heat rushed to your face when you felt the familiar electricity move along your joints. Your hands twisting his sheets under your palms.
“How long?” He tried not to laugh at how desperate you were looking under him. He knew your body too well to understand how sensitive you got due to his absence.
“Too long.” You said trying to look somewhere else other than his face.
“Need me to go slow?” You shook your head, could not stop your smile.
“No.” He smiled back, taking off his boxers to free his erection. He palmed himself quickly, before pressing his tip on your clit. Using his precum as a lube as he swiped it along the tip.
“That’s my girl.”
“Oh!” You screamed with pleasure as he thrusted all of himself in one go. Your eyes almost went back with pleasure. 
“It’s okay. I’m right here.” He kissed your cheek. His flesh hand holding onto yours. You squeezed him with all you had.
“You feel so good around me.” He said as he continued to move, you wrapped your legs around his waist. He leaned on your lips, kissing you slowly as his metal hand held the headboard. Starting all his thrusts with all he got.
You both moaned. “Fuck! It’s been too long.” He said as his cock twitched inside you. You could barely talk, a word with made up sounds left your mouth. He slid his dog tags inside your mouth slowly and you closed your lips around them in an instinct. “Good girl, taking me so well.” He patted your cheek, pressing one of your legs to your chest by your knee. Speeding up his thrusts, hitting you even deeper. Something you did not believe was possible. 
You could not stop your orgasm coming back once more. Feeling your walls flutter around him. “I’m cumming.” You said with dog tags still inside your mouth, as his tip touched your cervix. 
“Oh you are desperate aren’t you baby? Do you want me to fill you?” He asked, his hand holding the base of your neck. 
“Please.” He raised his eyebrow, hitting you deeper. 
“Try again.”
“Please Sergeant.” His brows frowned and he bit down on his lip as he emptied himself inside you. You felt your body relax as the warm liquid filled you. Your mouth opened loosely before he straightened himself up. Slowly pulled out, watching it pour out from your abused hole. 
He gave you back your panties and bra. Not looking back at you as he put on his boxer.
“Don’t worry, I’ll see you soon.” He said with a wink before heading to the bathroom. “You know I always do.” He chanted before turning on the sink.
Your heart ached, agreeing with him.
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yoongiseesawmp3 · 1 year
Text
all things end - mingyu
summary: you grew up with mingyu. he was your first kiss. your first boyfriend. the first man you ever loved. some things just aren’t meant to last, but during some time apart you struggle to forget mingyu, and he does his best to get you back. because who could ever love you as much as he does?
word count: 12.7k
warnings: afab reader, some gendered terms. ex!mingyu / childhood friends to lovers so plenty of fluff and angst, uhhhh scheming cheol too 
masterlist
“what?” cheol groans, answering the phone despite being in the middle of a workout.
“can i come over?” you ask meekly on the other end, and his heart twists.
“bad day?”
“yeah.”
“sure, i’ll be there in 20. come by whenever.”
“thank you,” you sniff, and he hangs up, finishing his last few reps before rushing to get back to his apartment. this is your third bad day this week. your breakup is, understandably, hitting you hard. cheol can’t help but wonder, if you’re so torn up about this, why did you leave mingyu at all? maybe one day he’ll finally ask, but for now he just heads home and shoots you a text asking what kind of ice cream you’ll need tonight.
-
“so i was walking my dog,” you say, scooping a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth before you continue, “and you know how gyu always liked taking him by that lake at sunset?” 
“sure,” cheol nods. “was it sunset when you walked by and it made you think of mingyu?”
“well. yeah.”
“and that’s what prompted today’s spiral?” he asks, grabbing the ice cream from your cold hands so he can hack at it with his spoon. 
“i am not spiraling,” you say, trying to swoop your spoon in but getting knocked away by your best friend. “rude.”
“you spiral every time something reminds you of mingyu,” he says, “or when someone mentions him, or, the most idiotic part, when you see him because someone thought you should stay friends despite the messy breakup.”
“i hate when you try to be the voice of reason,” you complain.
“i’m not trying, i am.”
“it’s annoying.”
“stop having problems then,” he says with a mouthful of ice cream. you get up and toss the blanket in your lap back onto the couch, and cheol whines, “where are you going?” 
“you’re obviously no help so i’ll just go back home and cry myself to sleep or something.”
“no fair! don’t make me feel bad for you! you put yourself in this situation! i don’t even know why you and mingyu broke up in the first place!” 
“i’ve told you a million times,” you whine, sitting back down and tossing your head into the armrest of the couch. “we just weren’t meant for each other anymore.”
“god, why does your answer get more vague every time?” cheol teases, kicking you lightly with his foot. “am i ever gonna get the real reason? did you have a big fight? he doesn’t want kids? you called his mom a hoe?”
“we didn’t fight, i didn’t call mrs. kim anything mean, and we definitely didn’t fight about kids,” you reply, and cheol smiles like the cheshire cat.
“lemme guess. you’ve both already agreed on baby names?”
“shut up.”
“is one of them at least seungcheol? cheol junior? come on, i deserve it,” he pleads, finally getting a laugh out of you.
“if by some act of god mingyu and i get back together and decide to have kids we will consider naming a potential child after you,” you say just to appease him, your heart twisting because you know you and mingyu won’t be together again for that to even be a possibility.
“i’m holding you to that,” he says smugly, and you roll your eyes, leaving it at that. you’re both quiet for a while, passing the ice cream back and forth. you like that cheol doesn’t take you too seriously when you’re like this, because you need the break from your own thoughts. but it’s nice like this too, just being around each other. you decide to break the silence when you notice what time it is, getting up for real. “where are you going now?”
“home,” you sigh. “i have to get up early tomorrow to take fred to the vet, so i should go to sleep.”
“ok,” cheol nods. “text me what flavor you want tomorrow night and i’ll pick it up on the way home from work.”
“i’ll try my best not to need this tomorrow, but thank you,” you say. “i appreciate it more than you know.”
“anytime y/n,” cheol smiles. “let me know when you get home!” 
“will do. night cheol.”
-
you’re up bright and early the next morning to take fred in for his appointment before you have to go to work. it’s allergy season, and no one warned you that your sweet little man could have allergies worse than any human you’ve ever met. fred has a rash on his back that he keeps trying to lick, bite, and scratch, so your vet gave him some medicine and a cone of shame to keep him from bothering the area for a while. you’re laughing to yourself as you take him home, eager to put the cone on him, just to see what it looks like. once you have it on, you laugh again and snap a picture because, yes, he looks silly. you post it to your story and forget about it as you go about the rest of your day.
a little after lunch, mingyu is taking a break from staring at his computer and goes to check his phone. after refreshing instagram, his heart leaps when he sees your icon at the top of his page, alerting him to what you’ve posted. yeah, yeah, he shouldn’t still follow you technically, but he can’t help himself. he only lets his conscious stop him for a couple seconds before he’s tapping your icon and viewing your story, which is fred in his cone of shame. mingyu, who loved you so much but quite possibly loved fred more, freaks out. something must be wrong, and before he thinks better of it he texts you to ask what’s wrong. 
you’re in a meeting when you get the text. you’re bored out of your mind, otherwise you would’ve just let it be. but your mind keeps wandering and now that you’ve heard the buzz of a message come through you can’t help yourself. you lift your phone just slightly to take a look, and you slam it back down when you see mingyu’s name lighting your screen. you do your best to ignore it through the rest of your meeting, but your mind keeps wandering back to him.
your lack of a reply has mingyu freaking out even more. he texts a couple more times, asking questions so hopefully when you do reply mingyu will get the information all at once. but all of those go unanswered too, and he can’t take it anymore. he calls you, biting his lip anxiously as he waits to find out what’s going on.
your phone rings as you’re leaving your meeting, and your heart drops when you see that it’s mingyu. you haven’t had time to read his texts, but if he’s been bothering you this much it must be serious. you take a breath, preparing for the worst, and then you accept the call.
“hello?” you ask meekly, and you hear mingyu sigh on the other end.
“y/n,” he says, relieved. “finally. what’s going on?”
“uh, nothing?” you reply. “i’m at work.”
“huh? why?!”
“it’s a wednesday? most people with jobs work on wednesdays,” you explain. 
“no, i mean what’s going on with fred?” mingyu clarifies, and that’s when you notice the worry in his voice. you used to be able to pick up on his emotions instantly, and it sends a jab to your chest that it took you this long to realize he was upset.
“oh, he has allergies,” you laugh. “he uh, he was bothering a spot on his back so the vet gave him that collar to stop him from licking it.”
“so he’s ok?” mingyu asks, and you nod as you respond.
“he’s fine, just inbred probably,” you joke, earning a little nose snort from mingyu. “listen, uh, i’m at work, so-”
“yeah, yeah, go, sorry for bothering you,” mingyu replies. “give fred a hug for me.”
“will do. bye mingyu.”
“bye baby,” he says without thinking. he hangs up, realization hitting him a second too late. he thinks about texting you to apologize, but he’s bugged you enough today. maybe you didn’t hear it? he can just ignore it, right? it’s not like you’ll be talking to each other soon anyway, so maybe you’ll forget it eventually.
-
the first time mingyu called you baby was an accident, too. you were really close friends, but nothing more. you’ve known mingyu since you were five, when his family moved in next to yours and your parents made you play together because you were both around the same age. 
for you, he was the stinky neighbor boy who would make your heart flutter when he pulled up weeds and handed them to you like a bouquet of flowers. for mingyu, you were the pretty neighbor he wasn’t quite sure how to talk to, so he did things like pull up weeds for you. he usually showed his love for you like that, in more physical ways than verbal. one time, when you were about ten and he was almost twelve, you told mingyu you really liked another neighbor’s bike and you wished you had one like it for yourself. he still remembers asking poor dokyeom if he could borrow it, and he also remembers how much his parents yelled at him when they found out he had given it to you as a surprise. you teased mingyu about that constantly, still laughing over the memory of him walking the bike back to dokyeom’s house with the saddest look on his face. that was the first time he realized he only wanted to do things that made you happy, and it was the first time you realized mingyu was more sweet than he was stinky. 
the first time he called you baby was late one night at his house. you had been friends so long your parents weren’t worried about leaving you alone together (secretly hoping you would wipe the idiocy from your eyes and fall in love already). you were in the basement at mingyu’s, sitting comfortably next to him on the couch and watching a scary movie, despite your protests. mingyu wasn’t usually a scary movie guy either, but your friends at school had talked about this movie so much that mingyu got teased for not watching it. 
he had summoned you like he always did, standing on the fence in his backyard and shouting your name until you opened your bedroom window. your houses were so close you didn’t have to yell once the window was open, so you spoke normally as you told mingyu firmly that you would not be watching that with him. it only took a few seconds of him pouting for you to cave, and once you were settled on the couch he said passively, “don’t worry baby, i’ve got you if it gets too scary.” 
that one little word had haunted you for days, by far scarier than the movie you watched that night. mingyu had called you baby. that’s not what friends call each other, that’s boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. and that definitely wasn’t you and mingyu. 
at least to the two of you it wasn’t. to everyone else, you were an item. it was so obvious you liked each other that guys wouldn’t approach you, and girls knew not to fall for mingyu because he would never fall back. it took ages for you two to notice, but once you did, your life had never been more lovely. to love mingyu and be loved by him is one of the best things you’ve ever done. his love is deep and he loves hard, and for some people that kind of passion can be a little scary. it was definitely scary for you, even if took a while for you to notice.
-
just like the first time he called you baby, that one slip up on the phone stuck with you. you couldn’t tell cheol about it, because he’d just question the whole break up again, so you sat with it quietly as you played the sound of mingyu’s voice over and over again in your head. 
days later, mingyu had already forgotten about it. he was worried at first, but when the world didn’t implode immediately after he basically let it go. you’d assume it was a mistake, not him still pining for you despite what happened. so he pushed it to the back of his mind.
that weekend, you found yourself at hoshi’s for a party. his apartment was packed, so you were prepared to get tipsy and then head home. cheol wasn’t there yet so you were bothering seungkwan instead, and he was doing everything he could to get rid of you. that includes pushing you into someone’s firm chest on accident, and you almost fall through the floor when you look up and see mingyu staring back at you in shock. you’re just drunk enough that you want to have a little fun with him, a mischievous smirk slowly forming on your face.
“hey, baby,” you emphasize, watching as mingyu’s face starts out hopeful and then falls slightly. 
“oh, haha,” he laughs nervously. “hey. um, so you noticed that the other day.”
“i did.”
“s-sorry,” he stutters. “old habits die hard.” 
you nod in agreement as you take a sip of your drink, not so sure now, with his big brown eyes staring you down, why you thought talking to him was a good idea. you usually spent these parties pressed up against mingyu’s chest, back to front, his arm wrapped around you lazily. suddenly you’re cold just at the thought, and you ache to feel mingyu wrapped around you again.
“how’s fred?” he asks, trying to keep you next to him for as long as possible.
“he’s good,” you nod. “doesn’t need the cone anymore.”
“aw, lame, those pictures were funny,” mingyu pouts, and you have to look away so you don’t have the urge to kiss him. 
“yeah, well, i still have it so i can put it back on him if he ever gets annoying.”
“that’s good,” mingyu nods now, awkwardly looking around for a way out of this conversation without being rude. he misses you, and he was totally aware of that, but it’s easier to push it away when you’re not standing so close, your perfume encasing him in memories of when you were his. now you’re not, and mingyu wants to go home. he’s searching the room for someone to talk to so this moment won’t be so pathetic, but cheol comes to the rescue. 
“hey ex lovebirds,” cheol teases, bumping into you enough to make you stumble. mingyu reaches out to steady you, but cheol grabs you by the waist to keep you in place, and mingyu has to look away or else he might light on fire with anger. it’s a simple touch, he knows cheol doesn’t mean anything by it, but it always bothered him when other people tried to take care of you. that was his job, and he didn’t like anyone getting in the way of that. “why do you both look so miserable? it’s a party. drink, have fun, maybe kiss a little-”
“i do need another drink,” you say, taking the first chance to leave this situation. you look to both guys before asking, “do you need anything?” they shake their heads, so you escape to the kitchen and mentally mark the living room off. you can’t go back out there now. maybe it’s time for you to just leave.
“so,” cheol says, smirk hiding behind his cup. “how’s your plan going?”
“what plan?” mingyu asks, obviously confused.
“your plan to get y/n back,” cheol replies nonchalantly. “you have one, right? otherwise i don’t see why you aren’t leaving my friend alone after such a devastating break up.”
“i’m your friend too?! what about me and my feelings?” 
“you annoy me more than y/n does, so i’m on her side,” cheol jokes, and mingyu groans. “but seriously. what’s going on here? she won’t tell me anything.”
“we broke up.”
“i know that. elaborate.”
“no,” mingyu says stubbornly, crossing his arms. “that’s between me and y/n. she won’t tell you so neither will i.”
“god, forget it. i’m on no one’s side, you’re both annoying,” cheol scoffs. “match made in heaven, you two.”
it’s quiet between them for a moment, both men just sloshing their drinks around in their cups, looking around at their drunken friends ruining hoshi’s lovely home. mingyu thinks for a second, deciding if he’ll actually admit this to cheol or not, but he slams the rest of his drink and turns to his friend before he can change his mind. 
“i don’t have a plan,” he starts off. “yet. i’m trying to feel things out. i tried giving y/n space, and that’s not working for me. i love her, dude. i’ll only ever love her.”
“then go get her!” cheol says incredulously, motioning for the kitchen. “she’s hiding in there so she doesn’t have to see you, she’d be easy to corner-”
“but,” mingyu interjects. “but. i don’t know if she wants me back. she broke things off, so i’m trying to respect that. i just...i don’t know if she loves me anymore, man. so i want to make a plan, i want to get her back, but i’m afraid of what would happen if it doesn’t work. if she really doesn’t love me anymore.”
“hm,” cheol hums before he finishes his own drink. he takes a minute, smacks his lips, then turns to his idiotic best friend. “get her back. as soon as possible, actually. she’s a wreck without you. whatever happened for her to break up with you, i’m sorry. but she hasn’t stopped talking about you since. she still loves you man, no doubt. so i think you should try. and let me know how i can help, because, man, she’s really been bumming me out lately being all sad like this.”
“she’s sad?” mingyu asks, sadness appearing on his own features, making cheol roll his eyes. 
“i said a whole essay and that’s the only thing you picked up on?”
“no, i get it,” mingyu nods. “i’ll think of something.”
“good,” cheol nods, then points to mingyu’s cup. “you want a refill?”
“do you mind grabbing it for me?” mingyu asks sheepishly.
“no,” cheol says in disbelief. “you can’t be hiding from her too.”
“what if i am!”
“i’m so close to revoking my offer to help,” cheol complains as he snatches mingyu’s cup from him. “i’ll be back.”
-
mingyu’s conversation with cheol set his mind in motion. he hasn’t stopped thinking about you since, as if that was new. but now he has a reason to spend all his time thinking about you. truthfully, mingyu isn’t sure he knows why you broke things off. at least, he doesn’t know how to explain it to people. he knows it must have made sense to you, and to him, enough for him to let you go. but he just remembers one very tearful conversation where you told him you couldn’t do this anymore, and that was it. he’d steal the sun to make your world brighter, so if he wasn’t making you happy anymore he wasn’t going to stick around if you didn’t want him there. 
but now. now he’s wishing he had fought back. asked questions. tried to fix things instead of just running away. he still loves you, and if cheol’s right and you still love him, then what the hell are you doing? 
-
your first date with mingyu was simple. since it took you both years to realize your mutual feelings for each other, there wasn’t much you hadn’t already done together. you already tried out new restaurants together, went to arcades and movies and concerts just the two of you. you even forced mingyu to get a membership at your favorite museum so you could drag him along anytime there was a new exhibit you were dying to see. so when mingyu finally asked you out, he wasn’t sure what to do. he wracked his brain for the fanciest restaurant he could think of, or searched for romantic movies playing around town, but none of it felt right. none of it felt like you. 
that’s why your first date was simple. he knew he didn’t have to do something grandiose to impress you, so instead he invited you over to his dorm and made you dinner. he wouldn’t tell you what he was making, but when you walked in it smelled familiar. not just because mingyu’s scent wafted up around you when he welcomed you in, but because the food on the stove instantly reminded you of home. you tried peeking at the pots to see if you could figure out what it was, but mingyu cutely pushed you away. 
“you’re gonna ruin the surprise!” he whines, childishly pushing you out to the living room. “you can’t be in here!”
“so you’re telling me i can’t be around my boyfriend on our first date?” you challenge him, and his force falters. “i want to spend time with you gyu, let me at least be in the kitchen with you.”
“promise not to look at the food though,” he says with a finger in your face. you grab his hand and wrap yours in his sweaty, warm grasp. 
“i’ll keep my eyes on you, deal?”
“deal,” he smiles shyly, squeezing your hand before pulling you behind him into the kitchen. he starts working with just one hand, so you let go of his other one to make it easier for him to cook. “why’d you do that?”
“do what?” you ask, leaning against the counter so you can sit back and watch.
“let go,” he pouts, reaching for you again. 
“you have to use both hands to cook, baby,” you laugh, and you watch with love in your eyes as he blushes a deep pink.
“right,” he nods. “ok. it’s almost done, but if you’re hungry there’s snacks in the fridge.”
“i’m good,” you say quietly, watching as mingyu returns to chopping something. you silently admire him as he works, your heart warming as it settles in your mind: mingyu is finally yours. your first love. your only love, probably, is your boyfriend. how amazing is that?
“baby?” mingyu repeats, snapping you out of your trance. there’s the hint of a smile on his face as your eyes meet his. “did you hear me?”
“no, what did you say?” now it’s your turn to blush. mingyu takes a step closer, carefully placing his hands on your hips. 
“i said it’s ready,” he smiles. “you were staring at me.”
“yeah, i told you i was gonna do that.”
“what were you thinking about?” mingyu barely whispers, his face incredibly close to yours now. 
i was thinking about how much i love you.
“um, you?” 
“what about me?” 
“i was mentally critiquing your form,” you tease, a smile breaking out across both your faces. 
“and how was it?” he asks, close enough now that you can feel his breath on your lips.
“you’re gonna chop a finger off one day,” you reply quietly, eyes drifting down to mingyu’s lips as you speak. he notices and the side of his mouth quirks up in a smirk. 
“how’s my form now?” he asks before hastily pressing a kiss to your lips, pulling back almost like the touch sent a shock through him. 
“could be better,” you squeak out, and he nods before leaning back down to capture your lips in a real kiss. it’s warm, delicate but strong, and it’s mingyu. you can’t seem to wrap your head around that part. mingyu is kissing you right now. you’re kissing mingyu. and he’s really good at it. sooner than you’d like, he’s pulling away again. 
“how was that?” he asks, lips just barely grazing over yours.
“better,” you reply breathlessly. “you take criticism well.”
“i’m just here to please you baby,” he says, his words dripping with double meanings. you feel a chill run down your spine as you notice the hungry look in his eyes, and you clear your throat before speaking. 
“so, um, can i see the food now or do i have to eat with my eyes closed?”
“depends,” mingyu replies. “you want me to feed it to you?”
“stop being weird,” you laugh, pushing him away playfully but instantly missing the warmth of his chest against yours. you ignore his smile and lean over the stove, heart picking up as you try to see what he made. mingyu puts his arms around your waist fully and moves you out of the way, back to his childish shoves and whines about ruining the surprise. 
in a few minutes, you’re sat on his couch, eyes closed with a bowl of something warm in your lap. mingyu was serious about feeding you, at least the first bite, because he wants to keep the meal a surprise. as you complain about it for the millionth time, mingyu brings a spoon up to your lips and quietly asks you to open your mouth. you welcome the food, and your eyes shoot open when you immediately recognize the taste. 
“chicken and dumplings?” you ask, and mingyu smiles proudly. “how’d you learn to make that? it tastes just like home. i can’t...i don’t believe you made this.”
“please,” mingyu scoffs. “i was over at your house enough that i saw your grandma, your mom, even you, make this a million times. i made it the exact same way.”
“i can’t believe this,” you shake your head. “i...this is perfect, gyu. thank you.”
“no problem baby,” he smiles as he cuddles into your side, handing you another full spoon. “your turn.”
“what?” you ask, confused, just to turn and see mingyu waiting with his mouth open. you laugh, letting your head fall onto his shoulder. “you’re embarrassing.” 
“yeah, but you love it,” he laughs along, taking the spoon back so he can start eating too. as he goes on about how perfectly he cooked this, he misses the way your face heats up as you think, yes, you do love it. you love him, and you’re trying to figure out how soon is too soon to tell him that. 
-
part one of mingyu’s plan is a little concerning. he’s not following you, no, he’s not doing anything that would make you uncomfortable, but...he is hanging around your favorite coffeeshop in the mornings. he knows he’s bound to catch you here at least once this week, and he doesn’t mind doing a little work in such a cozy place anyway. if he sees you, great. if not, also great. he’s been more productive the past two days than he has all month. 
he gets lucky on the third day, because he hears a familiar laugh at the door and his ears perk up like an excited puppy. he sees you holding the door open for someone, and he tries to not make it obvious that he’s staring. you’re wearing one of his hoodies. if he had any doubts about this, now they’re all erased, because you’re wearing one of his hoodies. he didn’t even remember giving it to you, so it must have been one you stole from him. it’s old too, he can tell there’s a hole near the wrist that you’re trying to not accidentally slip a finger through. he keeps flicking his eyes up to you as you ask for your usual, mouthing the words along with you just to make sure he’s still got it. café con leche, sprinkle of cinnamon. when you turn around after paying, mingyu ducks his head down and goes back to work. he won’t approach you just yet, so he tries to lay low.
but you saw him the moment you walked in. a big dude like that? he sticks out immediately. your blood ran cold when you caught him staring at you, mentally cursing yourself for not changing shirts before you left the house. it might be a little pathetic, but you slept in this hoodie last night. the heat in your place hasn’t been working well and it was unusually cold, so you needed the extra coverage. this hoodie was the first thing you pulled from your closet, and you were too lazy to find something else. you won’t admit being wrapped up in mingyu’s scent helped you have the best sleep you’ve gotten since the break up. you try to ignore the feeling of mingyu’s eyes on you as you order, and when you turn back to the seating area you laugh to yourself seeing mingyu look away like he wasn’t boring holes into your back. you scan the room for an empty spot and find one, but your own eyes pull back to mingyu. you wait at the counter for your drink, and take a deep breath before walking over. 
“should i go ahead and sit with you, or did you wanna stare a little bit longer?” you ask once you reach mingyu’s table, his head snapping up in shock at you approaching him without noticing. 
“uh, i, um, i wasn’t, this isn’t what it looks like,” he blubbers, and you roll your eyes.
“you know if you wanted to talk to me you can just call,” you mumble as you pull the seat out and sit down. 
“hey, i’m actually working,” he says, sliding his laptop around to prove it. “maybe i’m just here to enjoy the ambiance.” 
“fine,” you nod, sipping your drink and loving the way it instantly puts you at ease. “don’t let me interrupt.” you start pulling out your own things, setting up your laptop before deciding you might want to read instead. you compromise and send some emails first, the rapid sound of your typing somehow comforting to mingyu. he resettles himself, accidentally bumping your leg with his under the table. 
“sorry,” he whispers.
“it’s okay,” you reply, a sympathetic grin on your face. “with your long ass legs i’m used to it.”
“still,” he tries not to smile back like an idiot. “sorry.”
you fall back into silence, both of you working on your own things and “enjoying the ambiance.” you’re not sure how much time passes before mingyu interrupts the quiet.
“hey,” he whispers, grabbing your attention. he nods to your laptop and asks, “what are you doing?”
“i’m working, mingyu,” you laugh. “what are you doing?”
“working,” he replies quickly. “been a busy week for me.”
“hm, same here.”
“cold too,” he tries, smiling proudly when you shift in your seat. he caught you. “did you magically lose all your other hoodies and jackets, or does someone miss stealing my clothes?”
“i didn’t steal this,” you counter, accusing finger pointed in his direction. “you insisted i take this one because you didn’t want it anymore but you said it was too sentimental to donate. i did you a favor by taking this ratty old thing.”
“but you kept it,” he says happily, finishing his coffee and pointing to your long empty mug. “you want another?”
“sure,” you reply sheepishly, “a café co-”
“café con leche, sprinkle of cinnamon,” mingyu finishes in unison with you. then a sly smile as he says, “i remember, baby. be right back.”
-
“what the hell did you say to mingyu?” you bark at seungcheol over the phone. “why was he at my coffeeshop this morning? and why’s he suddenly calling me baby all casual like we’re still dating?”
“this is news to me,” cheol says, but you can hear the smirk in his voice. “i didn’t say anything to him. at least not anything i think he heard. that boyfriend of yours can be an airhead sometimes.” 
“he’s not my boyfriend,” you grumble.
“but he bought you coffee this morning?” 
“he told you?!”
“i’m not at liberty to say,” cheol laughs. “just enjoy it, y/n. whatever he’s up to, it can’t hurt to see where it goes.”
“i hate you both,” you groan, hanging up as cheol mumbles a “right, sure.” when the call is over, you fall back down onto your bed, mind working top speed to decide what to do next. you could move and change your name, leaving mingyu and cheol behind. that’s a bit dramatic. you could tell cheol to get fucked, but he’d find a way to bring mingyu into it. and mingyu. you don’t know what to do about him. you could just ask him to leave you alone, and you think he would. but a little part of you does want to see where this goes. 
-
you wake up the next morning to the smell of something coming from your kitchen. you rush up, afraid you somehow left dinner on the stove and you’re seconds away from burning the building down. but when you crash into the kitchen, ungracefully, you’re met with mingyu’s muscular back as he looks for something in your fridge. at the sound of your frantic movements, he looks over his shoulder and grumbles out a good morning in the deepest voice you’ve ever heard. you’re stunned, not totally sure how he got here, and totally confused as to why he’s shirtless. 
“um, whatcha doin?” you ask casually.
“i was gonna make french toast,” mingyu starts out, coming closer to you. “but you’re out of milk. so now it’s just eggs and toast.” as he gets closer, his hands reach out for your waist, and you let him pull you against his warm chest. “is that ok?”
“mhm,” you nod, not sure what to do with your hands. you don’t want to put them on his chest, afraid the skin to skin contact would ignite something dangerous in you. you also don’t want to put them around his neck because that territory feels just as dangerous. so that leaves you with your hands bunched up by your chest and mingyu looking on, amused.
“afraid to touch me?” he asks, a smirk on his stupidly kissable lips. 
“no, um, i just-” you stutter, but what sounds like a phone alarm cuts you off. was mingyu baking something?
“you gonna get that, baby?” he asks, seemingly referring to the alarm but you don’t know where it’s coming from. 
“what? it’s not mine,” you say, and you miss what mingyu says next as you’re jolted awake by something furry laying on your chest. you carefully open your eyes, afraid that maybe mingyu just forgot to shave and somehow he would be the one on top of you right now. but it’s just fred, and the alarm is yours. your phone is going off, reminding you that you’re probably gonna be late to work. you scramble to get up and start your day, but you can’t stop thinking about mingyu. 
-
about halfway through the day, you get a text from cheol asking if you want to get dinner that night. his friend jeonghan, who’s always kinda scared you, has tickets to some concert out of town and cheol wants to make it into a big trip. cheol wants you to come, and he knows you two will be the only ones competent enough to plan the whole thing so he needs you as back up tonight. you agree, eager to get a break from work and from mingyu. going out of town will be a nice distraction, and even though jeonghan is intimidating he’s still really fun to be around. 
speak of the devil, he’s the first to wrap you up in a hug when you get to the guys’ table that night, and he whispers something to you about mingyu being annoying and you’re better off without him. you smile at the condolence and let him drag you into the open seat next to him. he and cheol start filling you in on the plans, when you’ll leave, where you’ll stay, day of the concert, etc. you give some advice on things to do in your free time, and jeonghan types it all into his phone while cheol price checks your options. 
“so there’s one airbnb with enough beds for each of us, but it’s $100 more a night, compared to this one with a queen, a twin, and a sofa bed, which is the cheapest option and also closer to everything we want to do,” cheol says, nose still in his phone. 
“book the cheap one then,” you shrug. “one of y’all can take the queen bed as long as i don’t get put on the pull out.”
“i can take the pull out,” jeonghan offers. “i’ll sleep wherever.”
“and i’ll take the twin,” cheol says. “gives me my own room.”
“so we won’t be able to hear you snoring?” you ask. “thank god.”
“ignoring that,” cheol mumbles, writing something down on his napkin. “so that would make it $80 even for each of us for the whole weekend. i can book it and you can send me your money whenever.”
“sounds good,” jeonghan nods as he pours you all more soju. 
“wait, that makes no sense,” you start. “it’s only $80? for the whole weekend?”
“yep,” cheol nods, waving the napkin in your face. “wanna check my work, teacher?” 
“no, jack ass,” you laugh, pushing his hand out of the way before graciously taking the glass jeonghan hands you. “just shocked you found such a steal.”
“speaking of stealing things,” jeonghan says, “whose car are we taking?”
“mine is in the shop,” cheol sighs. “and y/n doesn’t drive.”
“guess we’ll take mingyu’s then,” jeonghan decides. cheol’s eyes flick over to you on instinct, and when he doesn’t see a reaction from you he smiles.
“cool, i can pick everyone up on friday then?” he asks, and you nod. with everything planned, your conversation can stray off to other topics while the drinks flow, and that’s how you end up flipping through jeonghan’s tinder for him later in the night. you’re maybe too tipsy to be doing this, but jeonghan likes the chaos of it, and cheol is just happy to see you having fun. he hopes this trip will help with that too.
-
cheol comes to pick you up, as promised, but he texts you when he pulls up that you’ll have to sit in the back. you get out of your building and recognize mingyu’s car immediately, tossing your bag in the trunk before grabbing the door to the backseat. when you slide in, you almost jump out of your skin when you see mingyu sitting back there too. 
“told you it’d surprise her,” you hear cheol and jeonghan laugh, but you’re too busy trying to sputter out a question. 
“hey y/n,” mingyu says shyly. 
“hi?” you reply, looking to cheol who’s staring at you through the rearview mirror. “um? hello?”
“hey,” he smiles. “you buckled?”
“no she’s not,” mingyu replies for you, and you roll your eyes before you put the seatbelt in place.
“sorry, but what’s he doing here?” you ask. “you stole the car and the owner?”
“no, he’s coming with us,” jeonghan replies. “i thought i told you i had four tickets to the show?”
“no?” you say, voice at a higher pitch than you’d like it to be.
“is there a problem, y/n?” cheol asks, looking at you through the rearview again so if you really weren’t comfortable with this he would see. 
“no,” you sigh after a second. “just didn’t expect it, that’s all.”
“for the record,” mingyu whispers, leaning close to you, “this was not part of my plan. i swear.”
“but it was part of mine!” cheol jokes, and mingyu kicks his chair. “hey, don’t make me pull this car over.”
“you mean my car?!” mingyu screeches back, and you lean up to whisper in jeonghan’s ear.
“why did you think bringing these two on a trip would be fun?” you ask loud enough for cheol and gyu to hear, making the car erupt in whines and cries while jeonghan laughs. it’s gonna be a long ride, you think to yourself.
you’re able to sleep most of the way there, only getting interrupted every once in a while when mingyu moves his long limbs to get comfortable. each time it’s an awkward half smile in apology, and you just nod in recognition. you don’t really want him here, to be honest. this trip was supposed to take your mind off him. now how will that be possible?
mingyu feels bad for surprising you like this, really. cheol asked him to come on this trip and didn’t say you’d be joining them until it was too late for mingyu to back out, so he wants a minute alone with you to explain. he wants to tell you that he can hang back, if you want to enjoy some time with the guys sans your ex boyfriend. he’ll do whatever makes you happy, like usual.
mingyu’s desire to talk to you is what leads him to follow you to your room at the airbnb, saying he’s looking for the bathroom but really he wants to apologize for the ambush. you turn back to the door once you’ve placed your things on the bed, jumping when you see his large form cowering in the doorway.
“bathroom’s not in here, gyu,” you tell him. “think it’s the next door on the left.”
“i’m not looking for the bathroom,” he says, taking a careful step into your room. “i wanted to say i’m sorry, for this. i didn’t know you were coming either, or else i would’ve backed out. i don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“i’m not uncomfortable around you, mingyu,” you say firmly. “i just-”
“you forgot your stuff dude,” cheol says, popping up behind mingyu and handing him his bag. then he looks at you quickly, smiling before he teases, “i see you’ve found the honeymoon suite?”
“the-what?” you ask, confused.
“you ended up with the biggest bed, y/n, so you gotta share with the friendly giant over here,” cheol explains as he nods in mingyu’s direction. “he’s definitely not fitting on the twin with me.”
“and i don’t like him enough to share a bed with him!” jeonghan shouts from somewhere else in the house. 
“you’re fucking kidding me.”
“no time to complain right now,” cheol says as he checks his watch. “we’ve got dinner reservations. mingyu, bathroom is next door, you might wanna change your shirt before we leave. i don’t wanna stare at y/n’s drool while i eat.”
“my what?” you ask, looking at mingyu to see what cheol is referring to. there’s a spot near mingyu’s collarbone that looks slightly wet, and your hand flies to your mouth as you gasp, “i drooled on you?! how? why didn’t you push me off?!”
“you were asleep!” mingyu replies, voice an octave or two higher. “i felt bad! you just kinda fell onto my shoulder, and i didn’t wanna wake you up!” 
“we’re leaving in five minutes, whether you’re ready or not,” cheol tells mingyu. he walks away, and mingyu grabs a new shirt out of his bag before heading back to the door. 
“uh, gyu?” you call, and he turns immediately. “s-sorry..for, that, i guess,” you say, pointing to his shirt. “next time you have full permission to push me. promise i won’t get mad.”
“it’s okay,” he shrugs. “you know i don’t mind.” and with that, he leaves for the bathroom. you can tell there’s a blush on your cheeks, so you close the door and lock it while you take a minute to chill out. you decide to change too, not wanting to wear your old sweats to dinner even if it’s supposed to be laid back. you’re afraid now that you’ve got drool on your own shirt, so you change into something casual quickly and then join the guys in the living room. 
once you’re there, cheol checks that everyone’s good to go, and you all walk out to the car. you don’t catch the way mingyu stares at you the whole time, or maybe you’re just ignoring it. you’re wearing a matching set with a jean jacket, nothing extravagant, but mingyu has the exact same outfit packed in his bag. you bought the sets together, for a last minute trip you took a year ago. mingyu wanted to get matching vacation shirts and you vehemently refused, so you compromised with a his and hers loungewear set. once again, mingyu’s heart soars at the little nod to your time together, because clearly you’re not as detached from it as you claim to be. 
-
at dinner, jeonghan insists on sitting next to you again, so you’re squished into the booth next to him while mingyu looks on in not-so-hidden jealousy. he’s sitting across from you, scanning the menu and trying not to flick his eyes up to you. jeonghan starts talking about what he wants to try, and cheol asks if they should just order a bunch of plates and share everything.
“eh, you guys can do that, but there’s really just one thing i wanted to try,” you say, pushing the menu away now that you’ve found what you want. 
“lemme guess,” cheol says as his eyes scan the menu. “you’re gonna get something lame, like chicken alfredo.”
“no,” you shake your head. “i’m trying something new, but it’s not as tomato heavy as the stuff you want, which all sounds nasty, by the way.”
“why’d you agree to come to an italian restaurant if you think the food is nasty?” cheol counters.
“you all seemed excited about trying it,” you shrug. “and like i said, there’s one thing i want. that’s enough.”
“what’s that one thing?” jeonghan cuts in, trying to stop cheol from bickering further.
“let me guess this time,” mingyu smiles. your eyes meet his and you blush under his gaze, thankful for the low lighting at the table. hopefully the guys don’t catch it. you nod and encourage mingyu to take a stab at it, and he pretends to look at the menu again even though this was the first thing he noticed. “you’re getting the gnocchi in the truffle sauce, but you really agreed to italian because you want to get tiramisu for dessert.”
“i, yeah, you got me,” you stammer out. 
“what drink is she gonna get?” cheol asks with a smile, head leaning on his hand as he watches in amusement.
“hm,” mingyu looks at the menu seriously. “maybe an espresso with the tiramisu, but i bet you’ll try to make us order the digestif spritz thing at the end of the meal.”
“shut up,” you say, kicking his foot lightly under the table. “i was gonna try it myself, i won’t force y’all to try it if you don’t want to.” jeonghan, not picking up on the eyes you and mingyu are making at each other, joins in.
“i thought about trying that too,” he nods, looking at cheol and asking what he wants to order to share. while they discuss an inordinate amount of food, you’re just staring at mingyu, who’s looking at you smugly. finally you just shake your head and look back down at the menu, judging whatever the other boys decided to order. when the waiter comes back, mingyu smiles proudly as you order exactly what he predicted. mingyu nudges your leg playfully under the table, and you’re about to fight back when jeonghan cuts through your thoughts. “wait, did i tell you guys about the dream i had in the car?” 
“i didn’t know you fell asleep,” cheol shakes his head.
“i did, when you were complaining about that girl who wouldn’t call you back.”
“hey!”
“anyway,” jeonghan starts again. “i had a dream that i was at work and y/n came in,” he smiles at you. “i guess you complaining about your job made me subconsciously think we should hire you at my office?”
“anything is better than my job right now,” you laugh, imagining how nothing would get done if you and jeonghan worked together.
“but you came in, and i was going to start training you, and then mingyu comes out of the boss’s office and is like no she’s here to take your job-”
“wait, mingyu was there?” you ask before you can stop yourself.
“yeah, i was there?” mingyu teases. “you in love with me or something?”
“y/n why is that so shocking,” cheol asks more as a statement than a question. “i told you about my mingyu dream, we’ve all got one.”
“please don’t bring that up again,” mingyu groans, head dropping. you smile at the memory of cheol’s legendary mingyu dream, which was basically just dream mingyu being so drunk he somehow climbed a telephone pole and got stuck so he called cheol to come help because he’s “strong and manly.”
“y/n do you have a mingyu dream?” jeonghan asks, and you blush deep enough that they can clearly see it this time, despite the lighting.
“um, i don’t really remember any from when, uh, from recently,” you start. “i guess i had one the other night, but it was one of those dreams that i barely remembered when i woke up. i just know mingyu was there.”
“where was i?” he asks, totally invested now. 
“yeah, where was he?” cheol parrots.
“um, my kitchen?”
“can he even fit in there?” jeonghan jokes, but you ignore him.
“so i was cooking for you?” mingyu pesters you, and you nod.
“well, kinda,” you reply. “i don’t really remember.” 
“was it a dirty dream?” cheol jokes. “is that why you don’t remember?”
“no, asshole,” you reply. thankfully, the first round of plates arrives to the table then and everyone is distracted for a while. you have to shake the feeling of mingyu staring at you though. it’s like he knows there’s more to the dream than you let on, but you’re not gonna unpack it with the other two sitting right here.
“y/n,” mingyu calls your name quietly. you look up and find him holding a small plate out very politely, and then he gives you his sweetest smile before asking, “can i try a gnocchi?”
“sure,” you nod, scraping one off your plate onto his. “it’s really good.”
“give me one,” cheol says, and before he can even finish you shake your head.
“nope,” you say as you pop another piece into your mouth. “you didn’t ask nicely.”
“whatever,” he grumbles. 
the rest of dinner is nice, the food is great, you got your tiramisu and your weird drink at the end of the night, and cheol and jeonghan got sloshed on an expensive bottle of wine. you’re laughing with mingyu as you guide the two drunkards back to the car, struggling to get cheol to put his seatbelt on. once the toddlers are settled you turn to ask mingyu if he’s gonna drive, just to see him waiting for you by the passenger side. 
“what are you doing?” you ask quietly.
“being a gentleman,” he replies simply, opening the door for you and handing you the jacket you almost left in your seat. you thank him quietly, heart picking up speed. he closes the door for you before he gets to the driver’s side, and then you’re on your way back to the airbnb. mingyu wordlessly hands you the aux, and you take it as you shuffle your library, not concerned with whatever song comes on. the first one to play is mary’s song by taylor swift, a song that has always reminded you of the way mingyu loved you. for a second, you let yourself reminisce and feel the warmth that mingyu’s love always gave you. absentmindedly, your hand reaches for his on the center console, and when you realize what you’ve done you just pull back like it was an accident. mingyu knows it wasn’t, though. he drives on in content, happy just to be sharing this moment with you, regardless of the circumstances.
-
back at the house, the guys let you take the bathroom first so you can shower. you promise to be quick, but while you’re in there you relish having a moment to yourself. it’s always nice, even when you’re with people you love, to have a second to yourself on a trip like this. it turns out doing you dirty this time, because the longer you’re left to your own thoughts the more they wander back to mingyu. back to how much you love him, how much he loves you, and how much that scares you. it wasn’t like you left because you didn’t care about him anymore. you were afraid you cared too much, and that it would end up hurting you one day. as all these thoughts pass through your head, you notice you’ve started crying. the shower quickly wipes your tears away, so you finish up and try to collect yourself as you get dressed. you take a couple extra minutes to pamper yourself, using the products the airbnb host left out for guests to try and steady your breathing. you take note of the fancy lotion, contemplating whether or not to steal this one, when jeonghan yelling in the hallway brings you back to reality. 
clean and ready for bed, you emerge from the shower with your things in your arms. you almost drop them when you bump into mingyu leaving your room, arms laden with blankets and pillows. you look at him confused before asking what’s going on.
“where are you going?” you ask as you move further into the bedroom, noticing that mingyu has moved all of his things. 
“i’m setting up my bed,” he replies.
“i thought you were sleeping with me?” you say, noticing too late how that sounds. “i mean, wait, sorry-”
“yeah, i was supposed to sleep in here, but jeonghan said i can make a bed on the floor and sleep in the living room with him,” mingyu explains with a small smile. 
“why?”
“i don’t wanna bother you, y/n,” he says. “i don’t mind.”
he stands there, staring at you, almost like he’s waiting for you to say something. you want to tell him he doesn’t have to sleep on the floor, you want to tell him it’s not a bother, but above all you want to tell him not to leave. with an aching heart you realize, you really want him to stay. but he takes your quiet demeanor as a sign to go, so he turns around and steps back into the hallway.
“mingyu,” you call out quickly, pulling his attention back to you.
“yeah y/n?” he asks, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.
“mingyu,” you repeat, this time with a touch of sadness in your voice. “just come to bed with me.”
his heart jumps into his throat for a few reasons, first, because you asked him to come to bed with you. to share space with you after so long. he could jump and clap with joy right now, but the sad way you said his name is the other reason his heart is in his throat. that’s when he notices your puffy eyes, and he asks quietly, “have you been crying?” 
you don’t need to respond. mingyu already knows. he drops everything in his arms, kicking them out of the way so he can wrap you in his arms instead. you sigh into his chest, willing the tears burning at your eyes to go away, but you let a few slip through as you whisper “i’m sorry” over and over again right above where mingyu’s heart is.
“baby,” he says, pulling your gaze up to his face, then, when your eyes meet his warm ones, “my love. what are you sorry for?” 
“for running away,” you whisper. “i got sc-scared, and i’m s-sorry,” you explain as the tears start to fall again. mingyu wraps you back up in his embrace, awkwardly waddling you both toward the bed. his sounds of struggle make you giggle, a happy reprieve from the heart breaking cries mingyu so deeply wishes he could stop for you, but he knows you need to get this out.
“what were you scared of?” he asks as he helps you sit on the edge of the bed, your hands wrapped tightly in his. 
“you,” you laugh lightly, making mingyu whine. you smile and put your hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb over his soft skin as you continue. “it was like one day i woke up and realized how much you loved me. and that was scary. you’ve always been my mingyu, you always will be, but life has just changed so much from when we were kids. things aren’t as easy anymore, and i guess i preemptively got scared that we wouldn’t be easy anymore. the idea of losing you,” you take a deep breath, “of you not loving me anymore one day. that scared the shit out of me.”
“things haven’t changed that much then,” mingyu says with that teasing lilt in his voice you know so well. he looks at you mischievously as he goes on, “you’re still that little kid who runs away when our games stopped going your way.” 
“don’t be a dick,” you laugh, head falling onto mingyu’s shoulder. “i know it was silly. but it’s like, once i made that decision, once i decided i had to leave, i couldn’t just come running back the next day when i missed you. i had to sit with it. i made the decision, i needed to face the consequences.”
“you missed me the next day?” mingyu asks, and you scoff.
“you haven’t changed either,” you tell him. “you’re still the world’s best selective listener.”
“i heard what you said,” he nods. “and i won’t say i understand it, but i still love you, y/n. i can promise you that will never change.” 
“but-”
“no buts,” he cuts in, pushing your head off his shoulder so he can cup your cheeks and make sure you’re looking at him as he says, “i’m yours. till the end of forever.”
-
when you were maybe fifteen - that awkward age where you wanted a boyfriend but didn’t want to admit it - mingyu was over at your house. you were so into him, but didn’t realize it yet. mingyu was warming up to the idea of you being his girlfriend, but he was afraid of asking and you turning him down. so you just remained closer than friends, and kept doing what you always did together. 
that day, you were trying to do homework, but mingyu kept going through this pile of things under your desk. your mom made you clean up the storage closet, and you had found y/n relics that you wanted to keep. one of which mingyu was digging for. 
“i’m telling you, it’s not in there,” you say for the millionth time, laughing when he bumps his head somewhere underneath your desk. 
“ouch,” he whines, and you kick his butt to add to the pain. “ouch!”
“get up!” you whine back, pulling at his ankle. “even if you find my diary i’m not gonna let you read it.”
“yeah, but,” he says as he crawls out, “i am bigger and stronger than you, y/n.”
“so?”
“so i could throw you if i wanted.”
“then i’d tell your mom you’re being mean to me.”
“she knows you probably deserve it at this point in our relationship,” he mumbles. your ears warm at hearing him call this a relationship, but the way he’s not moving his right hand from under your desk is more important to you right now.
“whatcha got there?” you ask calmly. 
“nothing,” he smiles the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. 
“show me both your hands.”
“no.”
“mingyu!” 
“y/n!” 
“why do you even wanna see it,” you whine as you join him on the ground, trying to swipe for your diary in his hand. “it’s embarrassing.” 
“i’m looking for something,” he says as he starts flipping through the pages of your pink velvet powerpuff girls diary. you laugh together over the many different ways you spelled diary as a child, until he stops on a page that makes you sick to your stomach.
it’s a picture. of you. and mingyu. on your wedding day. you’re in a big poofy dress and you’ve drawn mingyu with...a ponytail? and a bowtie bigger than his head. it’s clearly the two of you, because baby y/n took the courtesy of labeling you both for future historians (mingyu) to use against you. then down at the bottom, in horrible handwriting, are the words “me and gyu till the end of forever.” 
after you’ve both taken a moment to stare at the page, you in disbelief and mingyu in complete adoration, he tears it right out. 
“wha-”
“bye y/n,” he says, standing up and heading to your door. 
“where are you going? give me that page back!” you shriek. you want to get up and take it from him, but he was right: he’s bigger and stronger than you, so that wouldn’t end well. you kick at his ankles instead, but he just folds the paper up and puts it in his pocket before making a face and leaving.
-
you didn’t think about that day, or that drawing, until just now. until mingyu said those words to you again. you watch in shock and admiration as he finds his wallet amongst his things and pulls out a small, folded piece of paper. he hands it to you, but you already know what it is. you rub it between your fingers, letting every moment that you’ve known mingyu, that you’ve been loved by mingyu, wash over you. you want to cry again. his love is so strong that it makes you feel the most intense emotions, but right now you just feel...content. you hand the paper back to him, and wave away the questioning look in his eyes. 
“like i said, i’m sorry gyu,” you start out. “i’m sorry i ever doubted how much you loved me. i’m sorry i ever doubted how much i love you, too. it’s just scary. we’ve got so many big life things ahead of us, and i know i can’t do it without you by my side, but i don’t want our love to change. i always want you to be my playful, clumsy, perfect mingyu. and i just let my thoughts..and my pride..get in the way of that. so i’m sorry, lovebug.” 
“lovebug?” he smiles, his whole face blushing at your favorite nickname for him resurfacing. he stares at you deeply, his hands itching in his lap to hold you again, and you think for a moment he’s going to kiss you. instead he lets out a breath and says, “i’m sorry too.”
“what do you have to be sorry for?” you laugh nervously. 
“for ever letting you think for a second that i don’t love you as much as i do,” he replies. “i’ll work harder from now on.”
“no,” you say quietly, and you watch the confusion wash over mingyu’s features. “let me. i think it’s my turn to show you how much i love you. you’ve been doing it for years.”
“well if you insist,” he smiles shyly, eyes flicking down to your lips. you don’t have to nod for him to know it’s ok, and then he’s kissing you again. when you pull back, mingyu’s eyes are still closed, savoring the feeling of having your love all to himself again. 
“cmon lovebug,” you whisper over his lips, “let’s go to bed.”
-
the next morning, you wake up sweating. your body amazingly forgot what it was like sleeping next to your mingyu shaped space heater, and it’s made worse by the fact that his arms have been tightly wrapped around you all night. you laugh when you wiggle and he pulls you closer, surprised that you can still breathe despite his tight grip. you get a hand free from his hold and try your old trick to get mingyu to unwrap you, lightly flicking his nose until he brings an arm up to swat you away. 
you use this as a chance to slide out of bed, determined to make it to the kitchen to make good on your promise to mingyu last night. you want to show him how much you love him, and the first step to reminding him of that is to make his favorite breakfast. you think there’s enough ingredients in the kitchen, cheol packed groceries so you wouldn’t have to rely on take out all weekend. so you find one of mingyu’s sweaters and pull it over your pajamas before heading to the kitchen. you put your mingyu playlist on so you have some quiet background noise, careful not to wake jeonghan up in the next room. as you’re searching the spice cabinet, you feel a strong pair of arms wrap around your waist.
“why are you awake right now,” mingyu’s groggy voice whines into your neck. “come back to bed.”
“no,” you say simply. “i’m hungry. you can go back to bed and i’ll be there in a minute.”
“no,” mingyu replies. “miss you too much.”
“baby.”
“yes?”
“no, i’m calling you a baby,” you laugh, turning in mingyu’s arms once you find what you needed. “can you at least let go so i can cook?”
“what are you making?” he asks, loosening his grip but not letting go completely. you shuffle back to the kitchen island, mingyu coming with you, his hands still lightly on your waist.
“french toast,” you say shyly, feeling the warmth of mingyu’s smile without having to look at him. 
“i love you, you know that?” he whispers into your ear, kissing your cheek quickly before he lets you go. you hear him shuffle to the sink, water running as he asks, “how can i help?”
“can you slice the bread for me?” you ask. “and warm the pan up.”
“yes chef!” 
your giggles at mingyu’s behavior are what finally pull jeonghan out of his deep sleep, and he smirks when he sees you two moving happily around the kitchen together. he doesn’t want to ruin the moment so he just snaps a picture and texts it to cheol, hearing the man react with a cheer once the text goes through. jeonghan laughs and rolls back over, falling asleep to the sound of mingyu humming a song to you as the sweet smell of breakfast fills the house. 
-
when it’s time for you all to head back home, mingyu offers to drive and the other two insist on you taking the front seat. mingyu starts planning who to drop off first, beginning with jeonghan, then cheol, then you. 
“you’re dropping y/n off last, hm?” cheol says with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “starting the honeymoon already?”
“shut up,” you groan. 
“yeah, shut up,” mingyu mimics you. “it just makes sense though, y/n’s place is closest to mine and i need to drive my own car home. so it works out.”
“sure,” cheol nods. “no ulterior motives.”
“really!” mingyu shrieks, his ears turning red so you know this is getting to him. “i mean, i want to see fred too, but-”
“babe, stop talking,” you say quietly, placing your hand on his in the center console. “you’re just egging him on.”
“please listen to her,” jeonghan grumbles, obviously trying to sleep.
“she called him babe though,” cheol whispers to jeonghan, and they start giggling like little girls.
“ok, now everybody stop talking!” you say, looking at the boys in the rearview mirror. “quiet game, starting now. first one to speak has to buy lunch.”
“and gas!” mingyu adds.
“hey, doesn’t that mean mingyu just lost?” cheol asks, and you shake your head. “but he spoke first!” you just stare harder. “you’re playing favorites.”
“no i’m not,” you reply. “game starts now.”
-
after mingyu drops jeonghan and cheol off (who bought mcdonald’s and filled mingyu’s gas tank), he finally takes you home. when he pulls up outside your building, he stalls awkwardly at the wheel, unsure of what to do with his hands. you watch in admiration, a smirk playing at your lips. when mingyu looks over to you at last, he smiles shyly.
“hey.”
“hey,” you laugh. “you gonna come in?” 
“really?” he asks, whole face perking up. 
“either come in with me or kiss me goodbye, it’s up to you-”
“what if i come in with you and we make out in your apartment?” he asks with a smile of his own. 
“deal,” you smile, “let me just get my bags.”
“nope. i got em,” mingyu says as he rushes out of the car, running around the front so he can get to your door in time to open it for you. you start to protest, and mingyu’s response is, “complain and i won’t come in!”
“you’re a liar,” you laugh. 
“maybe, but i’m still not letting you carry anything,” he says while you get your keys out. when you’re done you turn and see him staring at the bags in the back really hard. 
“what are you doing? trying to solve a math problem?” you tease, and mingyu looks at you with a blush on his cheeks. 
“um, no, sorry,” he shakes his head, pulling your things out of the back before reaching to close the trunk.
“you’re not bringing your stuff?” you ask nervously. 
“you want me to?” he asks hopefully, and you nod. he smiles and grabs his bag too, hoisting everything onto one arm before joining you by the door. his sweaty hand reaches for yours, squeezing it tightly as you open the door. 
you make the familiar walk back to your apartment, mingyu’s heart beating out of his chest the closer you get. he’s waited for this moment for weeks, coming back home with you. but that’s just it, he’s been racking his brain over what could’ve scared you into running away, and he finally figured it out on the ride here. right before you broke up with him, he started talking about moving in together. he hadn’t asked you yet, but he was planting the seeds for it, and that must have scared you off. now he’s worried that once he walks through the door, he’s won’t want to leave ever again. he just hopes this time you’re ready for him to stay. 
when you get to your apartment, you try to shake mingyu’s hand out of yours so you can open the door, but he just whines and tells you to deal. laughing as you stumble into your place, mingyu looks around excitedly only for his face to fall. 
“fred’s not here,” he says with a growing pout. 
“nope,” you shake your head. “he’s at my mom’s because i was gone for the weekend. sorry i didn’t tell you.”
“you tricked me,” mingyu says accusingly as he places the bags on his arm on your kitchen table. 
“yeah, well,” you shrug. “you would’ve come up anyway.”
“how is your mom, by the way?” he asks as he walks toward you “missing his favorite person?”
“hm, no?” you reply. “she actually said you were stinky and she never liked you.”
“she did not,” he says with a smile, snaking his arms around your waist. “tell her i say hi.”
“and mrs. kim?” you ask as you drape your arms across his broad shoulders.
“she’s good,” he nods. “thrilled that you didn’t give up on me. i got chewed out after the break, by the way, so thanks for that.”
“you’re welcome,” you tease, kissing his chin. mingyu smiles without letting it reach his eyes, and he takes a deep breath.
“speaking of,” he starts cautiously. “the..break up.”
“the bad time, yes,” you nod. “have i said i’m sorry about that today?”
“can we..talk about it a little more?” mingyu asks, and your heart clenches. “if you don’t want to, that’s fine, i just...have questions before we go back to being us.”
“go ahead,” you encourage him. “do you wanna sit down?”
“no,” he shakes his head. “i’m good right here,” he says, squeezing your hips. “i just need to know what made you freak. was i coming on too strong with the moving in thing?”
“the what?” you ask, obviously confused. 
“baby, i’ve been dropping hints since new year’s about moving in together,” he laughs. “you didn’t notice?”
“no?” you cry out. “why didn’t you just ask me?”
“i was scared!” he cries back. “why did you break up with me?”
“i was scared,” you joke in return. “i had no clue you wanted to move in with me.”
“well, i did,” he sighs. “i already have an extra key for you.”
“really?” you smile. he nods, and you lean your head on his shoulder as you reply. “you know my lease is up next month.”
“is it?” he replies, leaning his cheek on your forehead. “how convenient. i’ll make room in the closet then.”
“cool,” you smile, comfortably floating at the idea of living with mingyu. when mingyu clears his throat above you, you know what he wants. you pull him over to the couch as you say, “i know. i’ll explain.”
“kiss me first?” he asks, and you think about it. 
“just one,” you say with a stern finger in his face, mingyu bites it, and then with your finger between his teeth he says, “no promises.” you pull away from him just for mingyu to reach back and cup your face, pulling you softly toward his lips. as soon as your lips meet you melt into him, his arms grabbing you so you’re sitting on his lap. “hey,” you say into his mouth, mingyu trying to kiss you deeper. “hey!” you giggle, pulling back. “i said one.”
“and i said no promises,” mingyu replies. “now cmere.”
“no,” you laugh, holding him at bay. “we need to talk.”
“i’m listening,” he says, playing with your hair. 
“i was serious before when i said i was scared,” you start out. “but no, the move in thing wasn’t what scared me. i was, uh, i was out to lunch, with some of my friends, and one of them just got engaged-”
“who?”
“mingyu,” you whine. he mumbles out a sorry and let’s go of your hair, placing his hands on your hips. “she just got engaged, and we started talking about..wedding..stuff, and then the girls all turned to me.”
“oh?” mingyu asks with a smirk.
“yeah,” you nod. “and um, that freaked me out. they started asking why we hadn’t..weren’t..um, whatever. they started asking me questions, and i didn’t know what to tell them, and that just made me go down a very dark hole.”
“how dark?” mingyu asks with concern laced through his voice.
“dark like, what if you didn’t want to marry me? what if we got married and everything went bad? what if-”
“and you never thought to talk to me about it?” mingyu cuts you off. 
“did i mention how sorry i am?” you try sheepishly. “that was the big life stuff i mentioned the other night. moving in, getting engaged. starting the rest of forever together. that’s scary stuff, and i forgot how easy you make things. i just got scared of the concept, i guess, and didn’t consider how you make everything feel okay.”
“i do?” 
“yeah,” you nod. “you’ve made my life so wonderful, gyu. even though everything ahead of us scares the shit out of me, i can’t wait to do it all with you.”
“let’s wait on all the scary stuff,” he says, grabbing your hands to play with your fingers as he speaks. “we’ll take it step by step. starting with moving in together?”
“starting with that,” you agree. “i love you, kim mingyu.”
“i love you too baby.”
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justanotherhh · 1 month
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some trailer things:
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big fight around lust/ozzie's place that involves m&m and loona + we know fizzarolli is going to make another appearance, so i wonder how that'll connect potentially. also, new villain?
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obvs the whole section of CHERUB working with DHORKS and this massive thing/portal:
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john waters big villain episode???? (ghostfuckers from the looks of things)
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also more crossdressing in that same episode + millie vs possessed blitz? both millie and blitz giving some evil dead type vibes?
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more on stolas' whole social sphere and potential judgement and hell's class politics related to his dating blitz + p much confirmed that blitz will not take stolas' gift in the spirit it was intended
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also, "you fucks think you can do this every time-" feels not just like it's about the wider class issues in hell, but maybe like it's personal (potentially with verosika? although it does seem like it's canon that he had more than a little bit of a hand in ending that relationship, so could just be him echoing everything he's been seeing in the treatment of imps and putting that onto stolas in this moment)
and then "thank you blitz, for making me so happy, even for a little while" is during this moment too. lot of teasers for how this is gonna go down (badly, upsettingly, emotionally)
the whole "do you feel any remorse for what you do" feels like a misdirect -- that is, it's edited to look like it's about blitz, but i feel like it's directed at stella or her brother
generally a lot of fun stolas visuals that i won't get into here, but am excited to see more contexts for
also this isn't new, but im always interested in blitz's heart/broken-heart forehead marking
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blitz and tilla moment! generally more flashbacks (in the shape of blitz seeming to be almost at the movies, watching his own "failures") around the time of the fire! i didn't see any barbie stuff, alas, but the rest of it looks !!! also lowkey confirmed it was cash who stopped blitz from seeing fizz in hospital
who's this?
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another sin? maybe related to ozzie and/or stolas and that judgement of the kinds of people they love?
blitz protecting stolas - maybe from the above, considering the hand motif of it all... stolas really living the life of blitz as a romantic hero, while blitz is barely holding it together as a person the whole time. different genres, my guys. different genres (that's their real communication issue)
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this fuck-you-blitz cake looks like a verosika thing to do, esp considering it's her calling him shitty in the VO -- but yay, maybe giving that verosika catharsis, but also generally just verosika!
also the VO part where he says he doesn't want to be this way, he's wearing the same shroud as during his confrontation with verosika. idk, im just. contexts for things. i am curious
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is the below also the same episode? I'd think so. it's set during halloween (?) and blitz is then maybe in the blood-covered shroud (costume? undercover? going undercover as a ghost? post-breakup stalking undercover ghost costume?)
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MAMMON! and he looks pleased. oh dear.
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this blitz + fizz moment
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it kinda looks like blitz is wearing the same tee as when he and stolas have their moment + a horse bag + fizz casual wear. fizz generally in this trailer seems to be having the best time (outside the flashbacks). everything makes me suspicious all the time
(also generally hello all the different outfits coming up!!)
fascinated by this:
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is that millie?
things we didn't see:
no barbie, no striker, no crimson, no asmodeus (directly, although his imagery is everywhere + fizz and mammon appear), no paimon -- this not to say none of them will show up, but am enjoying that a lot of this is clearly pulling from s1, with the focus on verosika, DHORKS, and CHERUB -- potentially a lot of the s2 villains need some time to lick their wounds a bit (and paimon was never a Villain, just a terrible parent... if he ever returns though...)
and barbie... i do want to see barbie again soonish ngl, she needs some proper introducing, but this is already giving so much callback and continuation of immediate plot-threads, very excited
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sunkissedchld · 7 months
Text
𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃
𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒔 + 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒐𝒐𝒏
the piles go from top left to right. so, the coffee with heart shaped ice is pile i, the brown clouds are pile ii, and so on and so forth.
take the time to close your eyes, breathe, and meditate on the PAC prompt, then open your eyes and let your guides lead you to the pile for you. i hope you enjoy!
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈
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Shufflemancy:
“Better In Color” by Lizzo
“Do It Like A Dude” by Jessie J
"Dolphin" by Oh My Girl
"Break Free" by Ariana Grande
Signs:
1:23, mixed race, water placement/dominance
Reading:
you may come from a more matriarchal family line, as it's mainly the women that speak clearly in this reading. the women in your family are typically powerful, well-spoken, straight-forward, fiery, and confident. the men may be the type to lay back and let the women lead because they know best if that makes sense.
the maternal line of your ancestors seem to be so proud of you. they think you're doing a good job of balancing everything you are dealing with. although you're doing well, they don't want you to slack off just because they let you know that you're doing well. if you keep working hard, your blessings will continue to reign in.
your paternal line seem to be somewhat like the traditonal father figure. they're more quiet and in the background. they may want to connect with you more, but you don't reach out or they don't know how to best approach you. they love how you seem to mimic the women in your family with your confidence and knowledge.
you might be coming out of a negative or stressful situation. maybe you were unorganized before or just recently went through a bad breakup. honestly, some things may still be hidden from you. do your shadow work, babe. that will also be helpful in your journey to getting what's for you.
you have a lot of good coming in soon! this could be partnerships and travel opportunities; you might even move to a different country. you may rekindle old flames soon. your commitment to doing well and succeeding will be a great assest as long as you keep it in check. don't become too greedy or prideful - this will bring about the opposite effects (more bad breakups, unwelcome change, etc).
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈
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Shufflemancy:
“Left and Right” by Seventeen
“Rent” from Rent
"Better Off" by Ariana Grande
Signs:
rebellion, fire placements/dominance, ancestry.com, 23&me, teachers/teaching, civil rights, earth placements/dominance
Reading:
your ancestors are funny lmao. they also had a ton to say. you could connect with them easily because of their willingness to speak so freely. if you chose this pile, you might wanna do something like a family tree or figuring out your family line/ancestry. your ancestors might have been something like freedom fighters? they were the type to fight for justice and call out inequality when they saw it.
they're telling you to meditate and let go - which seems interesting because i initially felt them as very fiery people. it's like they're fiery but for specific reasons. they don't seem to be the revenge type in my opnion. you might feel as if you're in a stagnant point in your life. you might want more from what you're currently participating in. you want to go so fast and do so much, but your ancestors are telling you to be patient and wait. you're not ready - not yet.
this is gonna feel like a lecture, but you can't go out and do whatever it is you want to do simply because you feel like it. this is gonna sound weird, but you're not as important as you think you are. you need to learn how to serve others because right now, you're being very selfish. you're needed on this earth to help others; your goal in this life is to put others before yourself. you're not gonna receive anything until this selfish air of yours leaves.
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈
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Shufflemancy:
“Redbone” by Childish Gambino
“My Boo” by Usher and Alicia Keys
"Pick Up Your Feelings" by Jazmine Sullivan
"The Worst" by Jhene Aiko
"Focus" by H.E.R
"Do It" by Chloe x Halle
Signs:
latinx, taino, cuban, cuba, puerto rico, boricua, 3, 7, crown chakra, third eye
Reading:
the men in your family line might have been (and might still be) treated like children, or they or they usually die when they're still pretty young. both sides of your family are a force to reckon with. magic and spirituality may run deep. i think those that pick this pile may be latnix, so maybe practices like santería, voodoo, or hoodoo may already be prominent in your family.
you've been setting plans and intentions lately - expect to see a reward. interestingly, both the emperor and emperess came out during this reading! you are obviously on the right path in terms of bringing in a ton of abundance and also being stable for both yourself and your family (i have a feeling family is very important to people in this pile). although you feel like you're doing everything right you may actually feel as if this isn't what you're cut out for. you may be overwhelmed. i'm reminded of Luisa from Encanto. eventually these feelings will go away, but if you don't properly address them they will pop back up time and time again. your third eye and crown chakra may be blocked, and healing them may help you with what you're feeling right now.
this feeling of seemingly doing good but actually feeling as if everything is not right for you could also explain your love life instead of work/material/family life. maybe everything seems like it's going on the right path. you might've been together for a healthy amount of time, and the next step seems to be marriage or something more, but it's not really what you want, or a facade is being put on in order for the relationship to seem that way.
the best advice i can give for this pile is to follow your heart. take time for yourself in isolation and listen. listne to your heartbeat, your pulse, your thoughts, and/or nothing. just listen. then follow.
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕
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Shufflemancy:
“Song For You” by Avery Wilson
“Sorry, I Love You” by Stray Kids
"Dancing Like Butterfly Wings" by Ateez
"Lose Control" by Missy Elliott
"Celebrate" by Ateez
Signs:
youngest/only child, physical touch as a love language, newbie, noob, talkative, air/water placements or dominance
Reading:
your ancestors are cute. they seemed to be new to this whole magic/tarot thing. they had a lot they wanted say, but the cards seemed to stutter or come out all at once. they really wanted me to get to the point with this reading. they didn't even introduce themselves before saying new opportunities are coming in for you!
ace of sticks and death both came upright, and both of those cards indicate changes, transformations, and new opportunities coming in. i also think it's ironic that i'm writing about new things coming in a few hours before the new year. everything seems to be right in front of you. your spirit asteroid may be in a fire sign.. maybe leo? or maybe that's too bright. aquarius? libra? virgo? any of those imo.
interestingly, the hierophant came out twice from two different decks. your ancestors want you to lean on them. maybe the reason they seemed to be new to me is because they have a specific way of speaking through the cards that i'm not used to - it may be easier for you to understand them naturally (which makes sense because they're your ancestors - not mine lol). you may be the newbie in terms of magic/tarot and things of the like. i also sense that you could be the youngest person in your family or an only child. you could've been doted on a lot. as a result, you could be a little immature.
you might feel lonely or disconnected from family right now. your ancestors are wanting you to reach out to them personally because they can heal you from whatever is burdening you in relation to your family. the maternal side of your ancestors seem to want to comfort you specifically; your paternal side on the other hand wants to offer guidance. your anxiety will go away with their help, and material goodness will also usher in. go talk to them. also, if you felt drawn to pile ii, go read it. parts of it are for you.
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕
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Shufflemancy:
"Be Blessed" by Yolanda Adams
"Just Be A Man About It" by Toni Braxton
"All Me" by Kehlani and Keyshia Cole
"Let It Burn" by Jazmine Sullivan
Signs:
reversals, rx, dad/daddy, father, manipulation, liar, jealousy, miss robinson, The Devil, earth/water placements or dominance
Reading:
this pile was both interesting and confusing because sooo many reversals came out. i'm talking 5+ more reversals at a time. maybe you're currently going through a confusing time in general and that's how the cards decided to manifest to show that.
your ancestors want to warn you of negative energy surrounding you. someone is manupilating you or lying to you. something is hidden from you. this could also be why the cards are reversed so much. they're yelling. someone is pretending to care for you and be your friend, but they are very much so not. at all. be careful of your surroundings and the company you keep.
you may want to lean on your paternal line during this time. they may provide wisdom on leadership and discerning between people's true intentions towards you. "father knows best" comes to mind with this pile.
the person manipulating you is a pathologicl liar, a con artist, and a person who is jealous of you. they want to take everything from you and bring you down to their level. if you know who this is, get rid of them immediately. if not, please try to be discerning or go into hermit mode to try and protect yourself. honestly, they may be using things like magic or hexes because of how obssessed and jealous of you they are. with the eight of knives, you will eventually get out of this situation, but it's kind of like quicksand. it'll feel like you're constantly sinking in, but you have to keep fighting.
in this reading, the story of Miss Robinson comes up. Miss Robinson was a rootworker who found out that another woman was speaking bad on her and putting people against her. Miss Robinson confronted the woman and told her that if she knew what was best for her, the woman would stop trying to steal her joy and spread negativity on her. the woman continued to do so anyways. a little less than a month later, the woman's only son died. Miss Robinson sat fanning herself with the obiturary, and the next day, the woman left.
this story of Miss Robinson will play out if this person keeps messing with you. i get the feeling that your ancestors have protected you beyond anyone else's control. they're not going to let this person ruin your joy. you will come out on top in the end. your success is the revenge.
additionally, there will be a partnership coming in! your manifestations may come true soon (january/february). this person will be caring, generous, and youthful. they might be younger than you. for some people who choose this pile, this person will be harmless. for others, this could be manipulator talked about for the majority of this pile. again, please be discerning.
i'm sorry i said almost nothing about you ancestral line, but they felt it was more important that i give you this message. i share what the cards and spirit give me, ya know? also, as i tried to save this, it almost didn't save/almost got deleted.. someone does not want you knowing this information. as said before, your ancestors aren't fooling with that energy.
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈
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Shufflemancy:
"stranger in my house" by tamia valmont;
"deja vu" by ateez
"side effects" by stray kids
"the tortise and the hare" by stray kids
"victory song" by stray kids
Signs:
indie arie, ocean, water/air placements or dominance, church, grandma's hands by bill withers
Reading:
you maternal ancestors might've been the church mothers. if you know what that is, this pile is for you lmao. they helped everyone and were always giving people a shoulder to cry on.
you might be feeling depressed right now. maybe you're frustrated or misunderstood. you may be thinking of all you've missed out on, or you've been working so much that you're missing out on all the fun life has to offer. you might feel so worried about the future and have no idea what you'll be doing. relax and go with the flow for now.
although you feel underappreciated now, you will move up in life because of your work. expect internships, a degree, or even an upgrade in position. you will find your way after this period of negative thinking. don't worry about poverty or anything like that. you hardwork will be rewarded. you will come into the spotlight because of your efforts.
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sanguineterrain · 8 months
Note
hiii! can i request reader being a vigilante and also jason’s ex? they’re on the same mission/have to work together and reader gets injured or smn?
thank you so much! I love your writing!
thanks for requesting! this turned into a whole ass one shot 😭 hope you like ❤️
jason todd x gn!reader. tw: fighting, exes, physical violence, reader is captured but they're fine, jason is NOT over you (and he doesn't want to be), making up, fluffy ending. 2k words (lol)
****
The Cave is exactly how you remember. Foolishly, you thought maybe it would've rotted after you broke up with Jason.
That's certainly how you felt.
But no. It's the same, and the other Bats are the same. Dick and Tim are there, probably because you're the most familiar with them... after your ex, of course... and Barbara already pushed the envelope by contacting you.
Still, Gotham is your city too. And if the Bats need an extra set of hands to protect the city, then so be it.
"Hey, glad you could make it," Dick says warmly.
At times, you envy how easygoing he can be. Even though he can have a temper, Dick Grayson, for the most part, shakes hands like a politician. He doesn't burn bridges. He doesn't hold grudges, at least not publicly.
You, on the other hand, are perhaps too much like his younger brother: you absolutely hold grudges, and you don't let go easily.
"Hi, guys," you say, trying to be civil. "What's up?"
"So—"
The roar of a motorcycle pulling into the Cave cuts Tim off. Quick anger soars through you as Red Hood dismounts the bike. He takes off his helmet.
You haven't seen Jason in a year. Judging by his physique, the breakup did not take a toll on him. If anything, he seems bigger than you remember. Asshole.
You can pinpoint the moment that he finally sees you, and he stops in his tracks.
"Oh, boy," you hear Tim mumble.
Jason is silent. You cross your arms, keeping your face neutral.
"I didn't know you worked with the Bats, Hood. Thought you flew solo."
Jason is quiet for another moment. Then he speaks.
"Things change."
"Clearly."
"Anyway!" Dick says, clapping his hands. "Pretty straightforward mission. Drugs, warehouse, bad guys, et cetera. We have to clear out these shipments tomorrow night, or they'll hit the streets, and we'll be too late. Robin and I will take Gotham Heights. Signal, Black Bat, and Red Robin will take downtown. And, um, you two can clear out the Bowery."
"Hood can handle the Bowery himself," you say. "Gimme another section."
Jason scoffs. You glance at him.
"Something funny?" you ask, teeth grit.
"Once again, you're biting off more than you can chew," he says, hands on his waist. "It's stupid and you're gonna get yourself into trouble. Just clear out the Bowery with me. Plenty of room for both of us."
"I don't know if you know this, but I actually do pretty okay on my own. Just because you're one of Batman's special little prodigies doesn't mean the rest of us can't get by."
You glance at the others. "No offense."
"None taken," Tim says. "You're far better adjusted than us, no contest."
Jason rolls his eyes. "C'mon. You don't have anything to prove to us. We know you're capable, but these guys are rough. We team up for safety."
"Oh, now you care about being a part of a team?" you snap. "You didn't give a shit when it was me asking—no, begging you and Roy to help me with the League mission in Sydney."
Jason's jaw tenses. "That was different."
"Guys, I think we should—"
"Why? Because you only get your hands dirty locally?" you ask, shaking with anger.
"Because if I had gotten involved, it would've put a target on your back," Jason says icily. "You would've been killed. You were nowhere near ready to take on the League. I wouldn't have been able to protect you and fight them."
"You know, right there, you sounded just like Bruce. Did you take tips from him?"
Silence. Jason's boiling with anger, you can tell.
"Bruce wouldn't have had the sense to stop you from going," he finally says, tone even. "He's not too good at that."
"Bruce would've cared enough to back me up. And he wouldn't have driven a wedge between me and my team."
It's just words; there's no way to know whether Batman would've actually backed you up. Probably not, considering his history. But it hurts Jason, and you take the moment to whirl around to look at Dick and Tim, who are wildly uncomfortable. Dick looks sad.
"It's better to team up," Dick says gently.
You bristle. "Whatever. I'll see you tomorrow."
You stalk out of the Cave.
Stupid fucking exes. Stupid fucking vigilantes.
****
"Okay, just to make things clear..."
"In and out. Report at the Cave," you say, tightening your equipment. "I got it, Nightwing. Over and out."
You silence your comm before he can respond. You're tired of their voices.
Thankfully, Jason has taken the hint and is on the opposite end of the Bowery. Which means you can slip away in peace.
You did this as a favor for Barbara, but now you're seriously rethinking getting reinvolved with the Bats. It never ends well.
The warehouses on the East End of Old Gotham are no problem. You clear out five within an hour. You check the comm briefly. It's pretty much silent, so you turn it off and keep going.
The West End, however, is a little harder.
Because you're only one person, someone figures out your pattern. You're clobbered over the head before you can drop in through the roof.
This is the last time you do a favor for anybody in Gotham.
****
You wake up tied to a chair. Your head pounds, and your lip is bloody. Not good.
"—way the Bat will show. They're a nobody vigilante."
"Tony, you're a fuckin' idiot if you think Batman doesn't know exactly what the fuck goes on in this city. Swear to God, I shoulda left you with Mom in Boise. Nothing but cotton in your head."
"Oh, fuck off, Al, you'd still be droolin' on your couch crying over Marie if I hadn't come back to Jersey."
"You little—"
"Very sorry to interrupt this family spat," you say. "But I'm on a tight schedule here, so if you could just speed things up..."
"Smartass, huh?" Al asks, waving a gun. "I wouldn't be so bold tied to a chair, toots."
"Toots? Are you a hundred years old?"
Tony snickers. Al glares at him and stalks over to you. He doesn't hesitate before whacking you upside the head with his gun. Your ears ring, and you hunch forward.
"Watch your mouth," he growls, and you're in too much pain to come up with a response to that.
Presently, you realize that your earbud is out of your ear. Probably destroyed. You have no other way of sending a distress signal. By the time you miss the report at the Cave, it'll be too late.
You were a failure then, and you're a failure now. Even your ex-boyfriend took pity on you.
Jason. God, look at how you'd left things. How his face had fallen when you'd called him Bruce. He used to love Bruce, and you know exactly what happened that changed that. And you used it against him.
Now you're facing the consequences. This is your own damn fault.
"Load everything into the truck," Al says into a walkie. "Then move out. Tell the others the same."
There's a crackled reply. Then shouting. Then silence.
You look up in surprise. Al curses and points at you.
"Stay here and watch them," he orders Tony.
"But Al, what if Batman comes here?"
"That's what guns are for, you freakin' idiot!"
You snort. As if guns could stop any of them, much less Batman.
But whatever. These guys probably didn't go into selling drugs because of their big IQs.
Tony and five other men stay to guard you. You work on trying to slip out of the handcuffs and rope.
Bang!
The first gunshot hits one goon in the leg. A second gets hit in the shoulder. Hip. Foot. Opposite leg.
Red Hood steps out of the shadows, then. Tony immediately looks sick.
"H-Hood? This ain't your territory, what're you—"
"You've got something of mine, Lewis," Jason says, voice smooth and dangerous.
Tony decides that, fuck his brother, he's getting out of here alive, and runs. Jason doesn't pay him any mind, instead walking to you.
He cuts the ropes first, then picks the handcuffs. Jason roughly rubs your wrists and ankles, pushing blood back into your extremities.
"What're you doing?" you ask. "Go get him. He's meeting his brother downtown."
You can't see Jason's expression through the helmet, but if looks could kill...
"Hood—"
"What. The hell. Is wrong with you."
You scowl. "I didn't come here for a fucking lecture."
"Well, you're gonna get one. This wasn't the plan. And you turned off your comm? Are you trying to get yourself killed? You have a death wish or something?"
"It didn't make sense to put both of us in the Bowery—"
"You could've died tonight!" Jason yells.
"And wouldn't you have liked that!" you snap back. "Proves the fact that I'm a failure quite nicely."
Jason tears off his helmet. His eyes are wide with anger and... guilt. Helplessness.
He's afraid.
"Don't you fucking say that," he says lowly. "I'd rather die again than find your body."
"What the fuck do you care?" you snarl. "I'm not your responsibility, remember? What does it matter if I dropped off the face of the earth?"
"Because I still love you!"
All of your anger drains.
Your body buzzes like it wants to feel him again. Traitor.
"That would kill me," Jason finishes quietly. "And I wouldn't come back from that death."
Your mouth feels like you swallowed chalk. And bees.
"You love me?" you whisper.
"You're hard to get over," he says. "Still haven't managed it."
"But... you said our breakup was for the best."
Jason sighs. His anger fades. "It was. I was a jackass. I let my shit with Bruce and the Pit and everything get in the way of what was important. Which is you."
"You were good to me, Jay," you say. "And we were okay. Till... till Sydney."
Jason winces. "I should've handled it better. And I should've treated you better."
"You're a good man, Jason. I don't regret my relationship with you. I regret it ending."
He looks at you. His face is twisted in pain.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," he says. "And you're not a failure. Not even close."
You scoff, your eyes wet. "Aren't I? Couldn't even handle a simple drug bust."
"No, you're not. Nothing about what we do is simple, even if we're gaslit into thinking so. In this life, you need someone to watch your back. Even B doesn't work alone."
You try to stand, suddenly feeling like a raw nerve. You stand up too fast, though, and blood rushes to your head. You might also be mildly concussed.
Jason immediately slips an arm around your waist as you teeter forward and puts you upright.
"Easy, sweetheart," he says, and doesn't let go until you're steady.
You raise a brow. Jason grimaces.
"Sorry. Force a' habit."
You scoff, suddenly shy. "Habit, huh? Still think of me as your sweetheart?"
"Never stopped."
You roll your eyes, but it's fond now. "Anybody ever tell you you don't know how to move on?"
"Mm. I've heard it once or twice."
Your lips tingle. You've missed kissing him.
"I'm sorry I compared you to Bruce," you say. "You're nothing like him."
Jason shrugs. "Some of me is exactly like him. The fact that I didn't put a bullet in anybody's brain even though they kidnapped you isn't me at all. But I forgive you. And I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't know the Sydney mission had festered so much."
"It's okay, Jay. You're right, I wasn't ready to take down the League or kill anybody. I'm grateful you stopped me."
Jason takes a careful step forward, eyes darting to your lips. You smirk.
"Hot for communication, are we?" you ask.
"Oh," he says, suddenly reticent. "Sorry. Too forward. Shit. I've... I've just missed you so much. I thought maybe you—that there was a vibe—but if there isn't, then—"
You take the last step and kiss him, and your lips buzz in satisfaction. Jason kisses back just as eagerly, hands flying to your waist and squeezing. But his hands roam, holding and cupping like he's been starved for the last year.
"I missed you too, Jaybird," you say between kisses.
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yukyuki · 6 months
Text
A Drunk Inc(h)ident CL’16
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summary- Charles and Y/n broke up, maybe without reason and they both can’t seem to move on, they are just one cute and inseparable couple 🌷
warnings- language, angst, slightly suggestive (not really), cute, fluff ☁️ this is LONG but it’s worth it! not revised sorry!
a/n- it felt inspired for this after Charles said he went to Vegas to party and I just think this is so cute and funny ❤️ enjoy!
“Come on Y/n! It can’t be that bad! You can hang out with me in the Williams garage!” Lily insisted hugging your arm.
“I don’t know Lily…you know…um I don’t really want to bump into Charles…” you say as he came to your mind. You haven’t moved on from that break up and seeing him again might not do any good to you.
Yours and Charles relationship broke as you both became more successful and the internet got involved along with incidents in his life that made him take the decision of breaking up with you.
That night your heart shattered to pieces, you loved him and understood him and were willing to help him fight with whatever problem he was facing. Yet you never really understood his reason for breaking your 5 year relationship.
Present day you have focused on yourself after 1 year since the breakup you have been busy with your career it didn’t allow you to think back to him, or even cry about it anymore. You were a mess the first few weeks but after Lily and Kika helped to pick you up and become the women you are today.
“You don’t have a reason to bump into him Y/n…I won’t leave your side I promise…I’ll defend you if he gets close” Kika said laughing as you swung the extra pit pass in-front of me making me sigh with a smile.
“Ok…fine I guess it would be really lucky of me if I did bump into him” you said sarcastically as you girls giggled and headed to the hotel so they could meet with their boyfriends, you went with Lily and Alex.
• • • •
Making it in the Williams garage with Lily, you sat at the back scrolling through your phone. The news was quickly spread.
Breaking News: “Y/n L/n arriving at the Las Vegas Grand Prix”
Some comments were negative which brought back memories and reasons for the split with Charles. Not letting it bother you, you slowly smiled at the cute and nice comments from those fans that loved you and Charles as a couple wishing you two would comeback.
After a few comments you look up seeing Lily arrive.
“Let me just tell you I do not enjoy third wheeling” you say playfully to Lily making her laugh.
“Oh don’t worry there’s maybe another guy around here…we can find one” she said playfully winking as you rolled your eyes.
“I need to use the restroom…I’ll be right back” you whispered to her getting up walking to the back. Walking down to the bathrooms you looked around taking in the cool air of Las Vegas, your thoughts were gone when two little girls approached your. The number 16 adorned their Ferrari caps.
“Oh hello…” you say softly as the giggled and shy asked for a picture you thought they were so cute and accepted the picture with them. You smiled and suddenly…
“Y/n please get back together with Charles!” one of the girls said as the other one agreed. You just followed along and smiled nodding.
“um well…we’ll see what happens okay?” you say keeping up with the little girls fantasies but older fans started to crowd around you hearing what you had said.
“are you here to get him back Y/n?” one fan asked as you stayed silent soon it was a full mob of questions and pictures without consent and a few mean comments yelled at you. Suddenly someone grabbed your wrist and feeling scared you try to pull away but it was Charles. He quickly pulled you to him covering your face from all the flashing and breaking through the crowd of people helping you to an emptier area.
That was going on the news in a few minutes. Finally in a quieter place you rushed in your bag taking out your inhaler. Anxiety had been building up on you more and more this days but nothing you couldn’t manage. You look up meeting those two eyes again, those eyes that you loved staring into and getting lost in them.
“Um…I got to go…thank you for…helping me” you say wanting to leave as quickly as possible but he moved his arm blocking your way as he slowly opened his mouth.
“wait…um I was wondering—“
“Charles!” a mechanic yelled making both of yours heads turn.
“Your race is starting you should go get ready” you said making a run for it into the bathroom, going into a stall you take a deep breath and try to process what had just happened. You didn’t want to feel like this crazy teenage girl but your heart was beating like crazy. After calming yourself down and fixing some of your makeup you return to Lily.
“Hey girl…woah you look like you saw some things” she said laughing handing me my headset.
“I…I did…starts with C”
“ends with S”
“most definitely”
“Oh god”
Telling the whole story to Lily had her giggling and fangirling over you two.
“Oh my god Lily be quiet…the race is starting we”ll talk about it later” you said putting your headset on watching as the race began. Charles was starting from 2nd and the start of the race had you so nervous.
Through half of the race within you, you were hoping that Charles could get the win but the power of Max’s Red Bull was making it difficult. You bit your lower lip gently, close to the end you cover your mouth worried when he had lost control of the car and was close to losing it all. You watch him get back but he was down to 3rd.
On the last lap he soon got his 2nd place back and finally crossed the finish line you smiled happily and wanted to run into his arms like old times but you soon realized that wasn’t going to happen anymore. Turning your head you see Lily already looking at you,
“W-what?” you asked nervously
“Congratulations on your man’s podium” she said giggling as you shushed her and noticed the cars of the top three parking as the drivers got out and ran to their teams. Your eyes then caught Charles, he looked so happy and you were too.
• • • •
You had left Lily and Kika to go party and explore Vegas with their boyfriends while you took a walk by the Forum Shops, looking at the pretty bags and dresses you were distracted when your phone started ringing.
Charles…
Why was he calling? I couldn’t really process what was going on or why would he be calling me at this time. As much as you tried to ignore the call your heart betrayed you and you swiped to accept the call.
“Hello?” you answered.
“Y/n? Thank god you answered we need you to come and grab Charles, he’s drunk and won’t stop talking about you…and no one can take him to his hotel at the moment…” You heard Carlos voice come from your phone as you widened your eyes.
“I…me? I…but why me? Call one of his—”
“Just this once Y/n…he could get in trouble for drinking too much” Carlos explained making you sighed.
“okay…where are you?” you asked starting to walk as he gave you the directions and hung up hurrying to that party.
After rushing through the casinos and finally arriving you saw Charles gambling as Carlos was next to him with Rebecca looking out for you.
When you got to him, you smiled at both of them and looked at Charles.
“Um…okay…is he staying in this hotel?” you asked grabbing his jacket.
“Yes, 37th floor, room 1586” Carlos said as you said goodbye to them and they wished you good luck, you approached Charles slowly grabbing his arm.
“Charles…stop we need to go…” you said pulling him away as he fought it.
“No! Just one more! I…Y/n?” he said quickly looking at you drinking another shot which you quickly took away.
You looked at him and started to walk him out soon he wrapped his arms around you resting his head on yours.
“Ah…Charles stop it you’re drunk…we need to get you to your room before anyone sees you like this” you say as he laughed and started rambling things that you didn’t quite understand, maybe french words.
Reaching the elevator, you walked Charles inside and pressed the button. Once the doors closed Charles placed more of his weight on you making you hug him from his waist, his eyes were half open but looked at you.
“Charles…”
“Shhh…god I was so dumb you know?” he said softly as his hand slowly touched your soft curls. You tried to not fall for his touch and turned your head away letting go off him as he fell on the floor making you gasps.
“Oh my god! Charles get up!” you say grabbing his hand but he only sat down with his eyes closed. As the elevator stopped the doors opened and revealed an elderly couple.
It was a miracle they didn’t seem to recognize the famous Charles Leclerc drunk on the floor with Y/n L/n trying to pick him up. He leaned on you and you struggled to get him out, apologizing to the elderly couple you walked out into the hallway and Charles moved away stumbling through the hallway.
“I can’t believe Y/n is taking me to my room…god…” he mumbled reaching to his door almost falling.
“Charles do you have your room key?” you say looking in his jacket but he got closer looking at you. You look up and his breath hit your lips.
“Charles…we—”
“Can you stay with me tonight?” he asked softly slowly cupping your cheek with his hand, it was cold.
“Um…I don’t know…please just tell me where your key is…” you say sighing “god I’m sorry for this” you whispered as you stick your hand into his pant pocket and took out his wallet looking through.
“got it…” you say opening the door helping him inside to his bed, letting him fall on it he pulled you down with him by your waist, squealing softly you look at him in shock his eyes were closed and your were panting for air.
“Fuck…you’re so heavy…” you say getting up pushing your hair back and started to fix his stuff before going to him taking his shoes off and grabbed a blanket putting it on him.
This was so bad, you shouldn’t be here with him. Tomorrow he won’t remember anything and this might’ve been a mistake, as you thought all this you found yourself seating on his bed watching him sleep. You gently move some of his hair off his face and gently brushed your thumb over his eyebrow admiring his features.
“why do you do this to me?” you whispered glancing at his soft pink lips shaking your head not wanting to fall into temptation. Yes you missed him but you wouldn’t kiss him just like that. Getting up, Charles grabbed your hand and you fell back to the bed, next to him facing him.
“my head hurts…” he whined softly looking at you with half open eyes and your hand slowly touched his cheek feeling his facial hair against your soft palm you felt him move closer.
“come back to me Y/n…I was so stupid…I…I miss you more everyday…”
his words reached to your heart and you didn’t know what to do. Your heart went crazy but you wanted to fight it and not fall so easily.
“I can get some soup tomorrow for your headache”
“Y/n listen…I can’t live without you…” he said meeting your eyes, as you kept changing the subject he pulled you close and shut you up with his lips on yours. You started to push on his chest and fight him, but his strength was much stronger than yours as he held your hands to the side he deepened the kiss, to which you gave in, returning the kiss and closing your eyes, he moved your arms around his neck and his hand slid down your arms to your waist, seeing him starting to reach for the hem of your shirt you stopped him.
“Charles…no…not yet…you’re drunk and…we don’t know if you actually…have consciousness for this” you say sitting up.
“I’ll stay until you fall asleep…” you say getting him to lay down again, but you sat down on the couch trying to forget about what had just happened and what could have happened.
• • • •
Little did you know you didn’t leave the room last night. Charles woke up, rubbing his face gently he looked around the room trying to make out what happened. Until his eyes widened seeing your small frame on the couch in an uncomfortable position. Getting up quickly he picked you up slightly laying you down making sure to not wake you up he placed the blanket on your cold body.
“god Y/n…what are you doing here?” he whispered to himself groaning softly at his headache starting to kick in.
Your phone rung and he quickly grabbed it putting it on silent. But he couldn’t help and read the texts from last night and the most recent ones, even though he tried to not get into your private life.
Kika 🩷
3:07 am
- what do you mean he kissed you??
- he wanted to fuck??? OMG—
8:47 am
- did it happen??? 😏
- girl answer!!!
Lily 💙
9:00 am
- wake up Y/n!
- Alex told me what happened last night!
- Are you w Charles rn??? OMG 😏
- You better explain!!
Charles eyes were widened and he didn’t know what to do. He saw you move and quickly put back your phone.
“Charles…what? Oh my god” you mumble realizing you had fallen asleep. Apologizing you start getting up but he held you down.
“no no please…I…I’m so sorry I must have given you problems last night…I don’t remember much but…um” he said his mind drifting off to the text messages he had just read.
“no! I mean…um Carlos called me to come get you…so I…I guess I got myself in this…” you say massaging your neck from the uncomfortable position you had slept in.
“I have to go through um…I would get some warm chicken noodles soup for the headache and it’s nice for the cool weather” you say smiling at him trying to make this situation less awkward.
Reaching the door handle his voice said your name making you turn around.
“Y/n…”
————
❤️ There will be a part 2!!! ❤️
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bysaber · 6 months
Text
Breaking up ft. Satoru Gojo
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Day 13 of 31 Days of Ficmas!
summary — you break up with your partner a few weeks prior christmas.
word count — 1.2k
content — hurt/comfort, gojo is emotionally constipated but he’s trying ok, lowercase intended
notes — today was supposed to be obito’s fic but i wrote this one first because im kinda… going thru the same thing lol. enjoy <3
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everything feels out of place as you lay in bed trying to place together pieces of an unfinished puzzle.
two weeks have passed since the last time you and gojo spoke to each other. two weeks since you broke up with him, leaving a part of your heart behind.
you know you have to move on, but it’s hard when you have years of friendship and a one-year-long relationship weighing on your back. you look back to all the efforts you put into it and, foremost, you can’t completely let him go.
you always knew about gojo’s personality, in fact, you fell in love with it. but it became unsustainable when you were the one doing everything while he sat back and watched.
you used to say to him, “you are a good person. you are the best person I’ve fallen for, like a window of light in the dark.” and never once you regretted those words. you made sure to repeat them to him during the breakup.
you truly believe satoru’s a good person, and he never intended to hurt you. what defined the fate of your relationship was his inconstancy, his fear of emotions.
gojo could shower you with kisses and “i love you”s for days, but they were always half-hearted and, whenever the conversation between the two of you took a deeper turn, he would instantly shut down.
become cold, even.
he also didn’t care much about life in general, talking about several topics and simply forgetting to ask simple questions like “how was your day?”
you knew he cared, but it didn’t feel like he did.
it killed you every time he’d disappear for an entire day, especially on days you weren’t okay, not even bothering to reply to your texts, and then replying with a mere “i was busy” – you knew it already, but a text would be nice.
and to match his emotionless self, you were the embodiment of intensity.
you tried to crack up his shell, always paying attention to what he said and remembering it. you dove head first into every interest he had, and supported him in every choice he made.
you cared, you asked and, mostly, you talked.
multiple times, you tried to express how you felt, how you wish he could open up more and maybe just regard you a little more – a few texts not to worry you wouldn’t hurt. gojo said he was like that, but that he would try to be better.
what mined your relationship was that lie.
because he never even tried.
and after another month of dealing with all of that, with not feeling wanted enough, cared enough, you decided to end everything.
you can’t lie a little part of you hoped he would fight for you, ask for you to stay. but as you watched distress filling his eyes, all he could muster was, “i’m really sorry i couldn’t be better.”
and you lost everything you thought you had.
you blink away your tears, trying to escape from your painful thoughts, and get up from the bed – it’s past seven now and you need to start getting ready for a christmas party at one of your friends’ house.
you need to move on.
after taking a quick shower, you put on the red dress you’ve decided to wear – a dress that gojo bought for you months before – before starting to do your makeup.
this is when your doorbell rings.
you frown, “who is it?” you yell as you make your way toward the door, but there’s no time for an answer before you open it.
you almost close it again when you see your ex-boyfriend standing there, but you don’t. you know you need to be mature about this situation, even if seeing him makes all the walls you’ve been building crumble down.
it hurts.
“gojo.”
you don’t look him in the eye, focusing on his christmas sweater instead. funnily, the one you gave him a year ago.
“can i come in? it’s freezing outside.”
if you looked into his eyes, though, you would see the big blue bag under them. you would see how faded his blue irises are, and how fucking anxious satoru is.
you don’t ask further questions, letting him into the house he knows all too well before you close the door. he follows you like a lost puppy, and keeps standing when you sit on the couch.
“you look gorgeous,” he compliments meekly.
“thank you. what do you want?” it takes all of you to not start crying right then and there, but you know you have to be firm.
“i want you back.”
satoru doesn’t beat around the bush, and the silence that follows is so loud it can be heard. you feel your heart beating in an insane rhythm, and your head spins.
“gojo, you can’t–”
“you were right. you are right. about everything,” he interrupts you. “i was a boy, and for that i’m sorry. i acted like you had to keep up with my shit, like you would always be there, and i’m sorry for that too,” gojo speaks so fast you can barely keep up with him, like he’s going to die if he doesn’t say those words. “i thought i couldn’t change, i thought i didn’t have to. because it is easier to live the way i live, but… it is much harder to live without you.”
“gojo–”
again, he doesn’t let you speak, “don’t call me that. please, don’t call me that,” gojo drops on his knees in front of you and grabs your hand. “call me satoru, toru, baby, love for all i care. just not gojo. i’ve been miserable without you, i never thought a person could get so miserable,” his voice cracks, pulling your hand towards his face in a desperate attempt to be comforted. “i promise you i will do better, i will pay attention, text you all the time, tell you all about my past and what made me who i am, scream through my pain for what’s worth. just take me back, please.”
you are so deeply in shock that it takes you a while to register the tears falling down his face, his eyes closed as he expects the worst.
all it takes is for your thumb to caress his cheek softly, and satoru sobs. you grab his face with both of your hands, cleaning his teardrops as your own fall, and you gently kiss his forehead.
it kills you to see him like that, but at the same time it gives you a reason to live to know that he’s willing to try. for you.
you kiss his nose, his cheeks, and then his lips.
satoru whimpers, pulling you into an embrace so strong you’re afraid he’ll never let go.
“toru,” you say when you part your lips and bury your face in his neck, feeling his scent. “everything’s okay now. i’m here, i’ll take care of you.”
“missed you so much, i’m so sorry,” he whispers.
“i missed you, too,” you confess, finally looking into his eyes and frowning when you notice he hasn't slept. “what’s past is past, we’ll be okay. but i guess we should just sleep a bit, hm? it was one hell of a ride.”
“sleep together, right?”
he sounds so clingy, you chuckle lightly.
“yes, toru. together.”
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388 notes · View notes
mysaintkitten · 7 months
Note
hi g!! firstly i have to tell you how much i love your work, you’re incredibly talented and i’m always so excited whenever you post something.
i have this idea for a story: you and neil have dated for months but you recently split up and neither of you seem to get over the other, so one night after a failed attempt on forgetting him you somehow end up in his bed again. old habits die hard…
hope u have a nice day :)
first of all .. thank you so much !! you are so incredibly kind !! second of all, i made this a liiiiiittle bit angsty and fluffy but still smutty !! i loved the breakup sex idea so i was so eager to write about this :)
Break Up | Neil Lewis x fem!reader
prompt: you and neil split up (NSFW!!!! NO MINORS!!!!)
WARNINGS: (brief) fighting, (brief) mentions of mental health struggles, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (p in v), creampie
word count: 3.8k
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the break up was messy. both you and neil shot vile, unnecessary insults at each other as he scrounged around your shared apartment to gather his belongings before leaving.
“you’re pathetic, neil. absolutely fucking pathetic.” you spat, desperate to make a dig that’ll hurt him.
“you know what? you aren’t even worth all this anyway.” neil snarls before swinging the door open, “you’re a cold-hearted cunt and i hope i never have the displeasure of seeing you again.”
you scoff, “feelings mutual, sweetheart.”
before he’s even fully out the door, you violently slam it shut, bumping neil in the process. he mumbles a few more profanities before finally leaving.
moments after this altercation, you’re left pacing around the living room. your mind flooded with him, the memories, the pain. what starts off as vicious rage, quickly switches into overwhelming despair. you just collapse. your knees falling to the ground as you sob into your hands. how did this happen? how can something so good sour so quickly?
neil fell victim to the same fate. he kept his composure until he got into his car. as soon as he shut the door, he was hit with a subtle waft of your essence. he wasn’t sure what exactly he was smelling, whether it was your detergent, or body wash, or perfume, but it was your smell. and it hit him like a ton of bricks. he teared up a bit, but he tried his best to stay calm until he found somewhere to stay for the night.
he drove to some miscellaneous pizza place and cried in the parking lot. god, he thinks, this is almost worse than crying in front of you. he feels pathetic, angry, depressed. he wipes his face and heads into the pizza shop, orders himself a pizza, and calls jonathan while he waits.
“hey dude, i know this is short notice, do you mind if i crash at your place for a bit? (y/n) and i broke up, it was really bad man ..” neil asks while pacing around outside the shop awkwardly.
“yeah, dude, of course. however long you may need. plus, while you’re here i need to discuss some things to you about a shipment that lucien and i picked out.” jonathan responds.
neil appreciates jonathan’s hospitality, but the last thing he wants to talk about is business. he wants to crawl onto jonathan’s couch and sleep, at least for a day or two, just avoid the world all together. but he’s an adult man, a business man at that, depression won’t pay the bills.
“yeah yeah,” neil answers, “sounds good. i’ll bring a pizza by too. maybe i’ll pick up some beers.”
“sick!” jonathan says eagerly, he appreciates the bare minimum, that’s what neil likes about him, “let me know when you’re here i’ll buzz you up.”
they say their goodbyes and neil hangs up, continuing to linger outside the store. he basks in the silence of the streets, the cool breeze, the dull and numb feeling that’s stuck in his chest.
once the pizzas ready, he thanks the workers and tips them graciously. he then picks up the beers for him and jonathan to share, before quickly speeding over to jonathan’s apartment, trying to get there while the pizzas still warm.
he arrives to jonathan’s place and they do as expected, eat, drink, watch movies, discuss business. neil feels as though he’s watching himself through some sort of film, like he’s not in control of his body. it felt uneasy. he believes the severity of the breakup has caused him minor disassociation, in some way. he’s desperate to vent. he has thousands of pent up feelings boiling within him and he needs to let out even the slightest bit of steam.
neil swallows harshly, “you know, man, i just really think i screwed it up with (y/n) ..”
“yeah, chicks are crazy.” jonathan retorts while grabbing neil’s empty plate from in front of him. jonathan doesn’t like to talk about feelings very much, that’s what neil doesn’t like about him.
but neil gets the hint. no sense in rambling to a man who won’t listen. so he grabs his beer and chugs down the rest, almost immediately proceeding to crack open another one.
jonathan puts on a movie that he knows neil likes and the two sit in near silence and watch. jonathan’s silent because he’s paying attention, neil’s silent because his mind is reeling. all he can think about is what he said to you, what you said to him, what it’ll be like to see you out in public. it branches into what’ll it be like when he sees you out with someone else? he can’t stomach the thought right now, he needs to go to sleep.
neil sits through the movie, trying his hardest to pay attention to what’s on screen and try to forget what had happened earlier. he wasn’t successful. but he tried.
the movie ends and jonathan pats his knees before standing up, “well, i gotta crash,” he yawns, “help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge. use the tv if you’d like, just keep the volume at a decent level.”
“no yeah, definitely. thanks again, man.” neil responded.
the entire night he lays awake. he tosses and turns trying to sleep, but his mind won’t rest.
he stays this way for a few days.
he starts to slowly move on, little by little, until one day he hears that you were spotted with a guy. as soon as those words hit his ears, he feels a lump form in his throat. that’s it. that’s his breaking point.
without much thought, he storms off to his car and drives over to the shared apartment that you have now taken basically full ownership over. he hurriedly rushes inside while being bombarded with visuals of you with other guys, you fucking them, them using you, and worst of all, them just being affectionate with you. thinking of you holding their hand, them kissing your cheek and making you giggle, you dancing in the kitchen with them. just like you used to do with him.
before he’s even realized it he’s ended up outside your door. he stands there for a few seconds to gather his thoughts, he didn’t really come over with a plan, he just felt compelled to come.
neil raises his hand and knocks on your door. he can hear your footsteps approaching. but what if it’s a guy coming? your new boy-toy? he doesn’t know what he’ll do with himself if he sees your new partner right now.
you swing the door open, confused and shocked to see neil on the other side.
your eyes widen, “uh .. neil .. what ar-“ you say before he nudges you lightly out of the way, “i forgot some things ..” he mumbles before quickly making his way to your bedroom.
“neil? what did you forget?” you call out, trying to catch up to him, “hello? what did you forget?”
“oh, am i interrupting something? just give me a minute.” he groans rudely
“interrupting? what are you implying?” you question, feeling even more confused.
“oh, nothing, i just didn’t know if your new boyfriend was over, or whatever.”
the confusion starts to become anger, “what? neil, what the fuck is wrong with you? who said i have a new boyfriend? and what business is it to you anyway?”
he turns to you and laughs, “we’ve been broken up for less than a month and you’re already moving on! did i not matter at all to you?”
“again, even if i was seeing someone new, it’s not your business.” you snap, crossing your arms in front of your body.
he just scoffs as he feels tears begin to prick at the corners of his eyes, “i’ll get what i forgot and i’ll leave. you’ll never see me again.”
you can hear something in his tone, “neil? are you alright?”
you’re fuming, he’s infiltrated your space and now he’s attempting to start a fight? but simultaneously, you still feel a deep sense of empathy for him. you’re still in love with him after all.
“i’m f-fine.” he stammers, actively keeping his back towards you while sifting through piles of clothes, he can’t bear to see your face right now.
“are you sure? you don’t sound alright ..” you reply softly, placing a hand on his shoulder soothingly.
“i’m fine! jesus, (y/n)! just let me look, please!” his voice cracks as he swats your hand away, he knows he can only keep up this front for so long.
“neil, we were together for months, i know you better than you know yourself, tell me what’s wrong.”
we were together.
those three words made him nauseous to hear, he knew the two of you were done, but to hear it hurt on a different level.
he loses it, the tears start to pour out from his eyes.
you hear him begin to cry quietly, his hands coming up to cover his face.
“what is it?” you ask one last time as your voice begins to break, you had been struggling as well. but you, like neil, kept it mostly to yourself. you rotted away in your apartment, barely even showering or maintaining yourself. but today he saw you on a relatively good day, you felt motivation to shower and clean. if he had caught you on any other day, you would’ve been absolutely mortified.
neil finally turns around, his face red and cheeks wet with tears.
“what happened to us?” he sighs, “we were so good, (y/n),” your eyes are nearly welling with tears. “i thought i was going to marry you.” he adds, his voice barely above a whisper.
you’re at a loss for words, you didn’t know what happened either. it’s like one day something between you just switched. you were both stubborn, but that had never been an issue, until it was mixed with unexpected changes and outside stressors, you eventually just couldn’t stand each other.
you can’t hold it in anymore, you begin to sob in front of him.
“i loved you, neil.” you walk closer to him, “i didn’t mean what i said. i just felt hurt, and i wanted to hurt you back.”
“i know,” he chuckles through the tears, “i know. i felt the same, i didn’t mean it either.”
you missed neil, so so dearly, and you wished that he could come back to make amends. now here he is, and here’s your opportunity.
you swallow your pride, “i miss you.”
you see something shift within him once those words leave your mouth, “i miss you too.” he mutters.
he grabs your face and runs his thumb along your cheek before planting a kiss on your lips. you’re shocked, but you wanted this. you’ve been craving this. you kiss him back.
he pulls away briefly to see your expression, but you lean forward immediately to kiss him again more passionately.
he groans into your mouth, bringing his hands down to the dip of your back.
“missed you so much ..” he whines into your mouth while wrapping his arms around your waist, clenching you close to his body. you bring your hands up to your head and run your fingers through his hair, occasionally bringing your hands down to touch his shoulder blades.
neil slips his hands under your shirt and unclasps your bra.
“mmh .. neil, we can’t ..” you groan between kisses, although you aren’t making much efforts to stop him
he slips his tongue into your mouth and makes the kiss sloppier, moaning softly in the process
“let me make it up to you .. please ..” he begs, creeping his hands down to your ass.
he grips it gently and feels himself growing hard. since the breakup, he’s had a lot of pent up sexual tension. he’s been couch surfing, which isn’t exactly ideal for private intimate times, so he was rarely able to get off. so now even just the sensation of your ass has him popping a chub already.
as you kiss, he starts to slowly guide you towards the bed. eventually the end of the bed meets the back of your legs, and you stumble back with neil on top of you.
you detach from his lips and shuffle your body back, neil follows your lead and moves his lips down to your neck, kissing and sucking softly. his lips on your neck and the warm friction of his body is causing you to get undeniably wet. this isn’t the best way to go about things, you and him should’ve maybe had a civil and thoughtful discussion. but you suddenly feel his bulge graze against you, neither of you are in the right state to sit and talk.
his kisses begin to move downward to your collar bone, almost to your chest, but he halts.
“can you take off your shirt?”
without responding, you slip your shirt and now unclasped bra off. he resumes his kisses down your chest until he gets to one of your nipples, he swirls his tongue around the harding bud, suckling on it gently soon after while moaning lowly.
you gasp and arch your back, “missed these tits ..” he groans against your skin, bringing one of his hands up to knead your other breast.
before long, his kisses trail down your torso, sliding his hands down your sides to grip your hips. his kisses stop at your navel, where he looks up at you from between your legs, slinking his fingers down to your waistband where he hooks his fingers in. he tugs them down lightly, but stops. watching your face attentively for your approval.
you raise your hips and allow him to continue to pull your pants and underwear off. he moves out of the way briefly to efficiently tear them off, before quickly going back to where he was originally, directly between your legs. he groans at the sight of your wetness.
neil places small kisses along your inner thighs while latching his hands beneath them, his lips inching closer and closer to your pussy. he plants a wet kiss on your lower lips, making you whine at the sudden, but much needed gesture.
he continued to kiss, sloppier and sloppier, until the kisses become blatant licks against your clit.
“mmh! ne-il!” you whimper, rutting against his face slightly. he hums, gripping your thighs harder, “missed this cunt so much ..”
as you moan and rut, neil gets more determined to make you come on his face. he laps you up, occasionally dipping down to use his nose while he prods your hole with his tongue, or using his chin to rub your clit while he stares at you twitching in bliss. he’s utilizing his face in ways he never has before, he seems nearly ravenous.
he sucks on your clit gently before detaching his mouth, “use my face t’come, show me how much you want it.”
“i want it,” you moan breathily as you lock your fingers into his hair, “i want it so bad!”
he smiles against you. sucking, rubbing, and licking all of your sensitive areas. you using his face purely to get off gets him unbearably hard, he begins to grind against the mattress beneath him for some sort of relief
your gasps and whines progressively get louder and louder, to the point where your eyes are squeezed shut and your mouth hangs slightly slack, neil just watches. he missed you as a person, as a partner, but he also missed watching you be pleased. the way your body and face contorts, knowing it’s all from his touches, it just couldn’t compare to anything else.
his jaw is sore, his scalp hurts from your pulling, and the entire lower half of his face is dripping wet with a mixture of your arousal and his own saliva, but he has no intentions of stopping. not until you come on his face.
your ruts start to get quicker and needier, your thighs shaking and tensing in the process as you gasp and beg for neil to make you come.
“please, please, please,” you babble quietly, “i’m so close.”
neil can barely breathe, and he’s so incredibly hard he’s afraid he may faint from the loss of blood and oxygen flow. he groans against your pussy, crude sounds of moans and slight squelching fill the room.
your orgasm is inching closer and closer until it finally hits. your mind going blank and your hips movements coming to a stop, your thighs clench around him and twitch around his head. you’re quiet as you come, as if the air has been sucked from your lungs. neil licks you through your high, until you’ve become too sensitive and have to push him away.
“too much .. too much ..” you whine, neil hesitantly pulls away. he could stay between your legs forever.
he places small kisses on your inner thighs and sighs deeply against you. once he catches his breath, he trails back up your body with kisses. eventually his lips end up at your neck, he places a small lick onto the shell of your ear while sneaking his hand between his legs and palming himself.
“nothing else compares to you .. nothing .. no one ..“ he mumbles, hastily unzipping his fly and pulling his pants down with one hand, “i think your pussy was designed just f’me ..”
you whimper and place your hands on his clothed back, “this .. off .. please-“
he places one more wet kiss on your neck before sitting his body up. his eyes are glossy and his lips are a rich pink colour. he takes off his shirt and you can’t help but compliment him,
“you look so handsome.” you chuckle
he smirks, “thanks, i think eating pussy gives you some sort of natural glow, or so i’ve heard.”
you roll your eyes playfully and hook your fingers into his boxers waistband, “take these off, too.”
neil laughs breathily and removes his boxers, his hard, sensitive member springing free. his tip glistens from his arousal, you bring your hand to his cock and grip him weakly while pumping him.
he moans and his eyes shoot down to between his legs, watching you pump him, “oh, fuck ..”
his moans enable you further, you begin to pump him quicker. he huffs and whines before gripping your wrists and stopping your movements, “stop, stop”
you let go, “if you keep going i’ll come on your hand, i need your pussy.” he mewls as he lowers himself between your legs and aligning his cock head with your opening.
your pussy is extremely slick from the combination of his spit, your orgasm, and your persistent arousal, so he slides himself in with no issue. making the both of you groan at the sensation. as he bottoms out, he just sits inside you for a few moments, simply enjoying the embrace of your warm and wet cunt. you whine at the fullness you had been missing, while neil was away you’d attempt to finger yourself, but your own fingers didn’t compare at all to his cock. the feeling reminds you of what neil said, “i think your pussy was designed just for me”, maybe it’s truer than you thought.
his hips shift back and he slowly thrusts himself out, before quickly snapping back in. his pace is quick and needy, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him fuck you so desperately.
“neil-l .. mmh!” you gasp, swinging your hand over your mouth to cover your loud moans. neil chuckles and swipes your hand out of the way, “let me hear you, your noises are so pretty.”
“o-oh, stop ..” you tease, having just enough composure within you to still banter slightly with neil as he fucks you
“‘m serious ..” he moans, “hearing how good my cock is making y’feel .. so fucking sexy ..”
his pace gets rougher, and you almost instantly lose whatever snarky response you had in mind, “god, f-uck!” you cry out, bringing your hands down to your sides to grab the duvet beneath you.
as he thrusts into you, his eyes dart between your fucked-out face and your tits, which are bouncing slightly from his force. he places a hand onto your hip and the other onto your tit, both hands gripping harshly on whatever they’re grabbing. you whine at the aggression, feeling it get you hotter and wetter.
neil huffs and glances down at your pussy, whimpering at what he sees, “jesus, so fucking wet”
“you got me t-this wet ..” you stammer, feeding into neil’s neediness.
he moans, “y-yeah?”, his voice high and shaky, normally he’d want to come off as dominant and basically stoic, but right now he’s absolutely pussy-whipped, he couldn’t pull himself together if he tried.
hearing the pleasure in his tone makes you hum, your legs wrapping around him and squeezing him lightly.
he laughs and gulps, “so desperate to keep my cock inside.”
you nod quickly and snake your hand between your legs to rub your clit as you clench around him involuntarily. neil whimpers small sounds of approval, knowing how close you are to coming. his breaths are heavy and he’s having a hard time keeping up the quick rough pace, both of you are approaching your orgasms rapidly. the aesthetics of it really don’t matter, the pleasures your bodies are giving each other is what matters above all else.
“gonna come ..” neil swallows, “gonna come ..”
you wanna tell him you’re going to come too, but you physically can’t vocalize it, but you assume your whimpers and clenching and wetness is telling enough.
moments later, you’re coming on his cock, “n-eil!” you shout as your body convulses slightly from the overwhelming sensation. watching you come pushes him over the edge completely, “yeah, yeah, fuck!” he rambles, his brows furrowing and mouth hanging slack as he comes while continuing to pump himself inside you.
you ride out your orgasms until it eventually becomes too overstimulating for the both of you, he pulls out his softening cock and huffs. your thighs twitch at the feeling of his and yours come begin to slowly drip out from inside of you. neil smirks proudly “i missed seeing this too .. so goddamn much ..”
after that, you and him sit in silence for a little. you don’t really know what to say, and you don’t know what you are. still exes? friends? partners?
instead of pondering, you think fuck it and just ask;
“what are we now?”
“what do you want us to be?” he responds
“i want us to get back together.”
“i want that, too.”
——
back to my old reliable .. neil !!!
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