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#you expect me to use my braincells at this hour? i dont think so
gunsatthaphan · 1 year
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“I want to go home.”
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hopeididntscareyou · 2 years
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sometimes people don't necessarily mean to offend us, they just don't understand us and that is normal.. i didn't say its okay or not okay but again, it is normal. people dont realize this, but its actually easier to just assume people won't get you, than expecting otherwise, only for you to get hurt when they don't meet your expectations. when someone is 'insensitive' it doesn't always mean they meant to harm you, especially if its people who cares about you. i had this problem with Taylor and it hasnt been always comforting whenever he said I'm just being too hard on myself when i talk about my gaming addiction. i don't feel like he really understand my struggles and i feel guilty to say that i was disappointed, because as en empathetic guy i kinda expected he would have understood me. but he loves his games and he definitely has a good relationship with it. he doesn't spend his life binging on games and neglecting himself and his relationships (unlike me).. i feel that people just project their own issues on us but in reality we all have our own capacities and thresholds. just because you can manage mutual problems without any difficulties it doesn't mean i would have the same experience. so back to the first point, its easier to just accept that people aren't going to understand you because we are all different, unique individuals and its not possible for them understand someone when they don't even understand themselves. you probably also don't even understand them. its normal. also, if you just keep on complaining about it without communicating that you just want their support then you obviously have bigger issues that needs your attention.
another thing is, i don't really believe in BPD or clinical depression, sorry. imo, that's just psychiatry and psychology gaslighting you into taking their 'pills'. there is no such thing as mood disorders. you're upset for a reason and no I'm not saying you should blame external factors for your misery (even though i guess its been always easier for most people to complain than to fix shit). I'm just saying psychiatry and mainstream psychology are both trash.. and i will explain this later but right now i have a migraine and im already exhausting the only two braincells that i have left, so i'm done with all these thinking and consuming mental energy.
for some strange reason though, as a sleepless person i do have a lot of energy for working out. i ran today and now im gonna do more exercises. i really dont know where im getting all these energy from. i also haven't eaten or drunk anything for 24 hours now which isn't intentional. i was just busy all day trying to arrange my trip and honestly i'm not exactly sure if i should be happy or worried about the state of my bodily functions. its not like i'm purposely neglecting myself. it just happens. today has been really stressful for me.
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flowerpowelltales · 3 years
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Until You Hate Me (Liam x MC)
PART THREE - THE BEGINNING
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A/N: Yes, I do feel ashamed I forgot about this series for TWO years. I also am aware most of you, who have been tagged, dont even remember ever reading this series. If you’d like to be taken off the taglist just let me know because I don’t want to bother anyone. If you want a refresher - it’s the series where Regina pays Riley to be the worst suitor ever so that in two weeks, Liam would have to marry someone Regina picked for him. Previous parts are on my masterlist. Shoutout to the Nonny who motivated me to write this part. Hope y’all enjoy! Characters belong to PB. 
Rating: G
Word count: 1692
Tagging: @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @blackcatkita @badchoicesposts @jared2612 @princess-geek @desiree-pow-35-1986​ @emichelle​ @ao719​ @cordoniantrash @kinggliam @needalittlerain @flyawayboo @nazariortega @jlpplays1 @kimmiedoo5 @annekebbphotography​ @ladyangel70​ @eadanga​ @kingliam2019​ @nz1091​ @emceesynonymroll @texaskitten30 @mskaneko​ @custaroonie @drakesensworld​ @janezillow @ritachacha​ @lodberg​ @msjr0119​ @gkittylove99​ @sweatyrysconnoisseur​ @dcbbw​ @potter1-7harry​
“Welcome to Cordonia,” Liam said when the Royal Jet finally landed. He looked at Riley warily as she took in the sights. The flight was a total disaster and made him rethink his whole life. If he hadn’t known better he’d think she wanted to sabotage his mission.
“Looks sick,” she said and Liam sighed.
“Liam, Riley, the car is here. Come before anyone spots us.” Regina nodded towards their driver.
“Whoa, we have our own driver? That’s mad!”
Regina raised an eyebrow in a ‘do-not-overdo-it’ manner but Riley ignored it. For her it was either go hard or go home. Literally, because if she failed she’d go home with no money.
The ride from the private airport to the palace was silent; Riley was admiring the views, Liam was thinking if he made the right choice and Regina was already planning Liam’s wedding to Madeleine.
When they arrived, Regina excused herself and went straight into her office.
“What do you think?” Liam asked politely when they were the only two left.
“It looks so… majestic. Like something I’d expect a palace look like but at the same time like something I wouldn’t expect. It’s gorgeous.”
Liam turned to her stunned by her words. What happened to “sick” and “mad”? Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, after all.
“Come inside,” he said and extended his hands towards her. She took it and then gasped at the interior.
“It’s so regal and so big and oof—” Riley was almost knocked out by a small, fluffy ball that jumped at her.
“Ah, this is Chance, Maxwell’s dog. He must feel you’re a good person because he is never that happy about strangers.” Liam smiled as he leaned to take her coat. She handed it to him and when Liam walked away to hang it, she bent over to Chance. 
“Hey, buddy! I’m super flattered you like me but can you please bite me or start barking at me so Liam doesn’t think I’m good?” She asked and Chance titled his head in confusion. “You see,” she lowered her voice, “I have a mission to complete.”
When Chace still couldn’t understand, Riley tried to speak his language.
“Woof woof woof woof,” she barked at Chance in low voice.
“Um… is everything okay, lady Riley?” Liam asked, suddenly appearing behind her. Shoot.
“Mhm. Just talking to that cute little muffin. And please, call me Riley. I’m no lady.”
“If you insist. Would you like to see your room?”
“Sure! Does it have a mini fridge? I bet it’s totally dope!”
Liam shook his head in disbelief. Riley changed her mood every few minutes. He couldn’t figure her out. Sometimes she was serious and really fun to talk to but then she changed again and acted like a spoiled teenager.
“Here we are.” Liam motioned the room when they finally reached the guest chamber. “It doesn’t have a mini fridge but you can call any of the staff members to ask for whatever you’d like, anytime.”
“Cool.”
“Ah, Liam! Riley! I am so glad to see you both here!” Regina exclaimed with a smiled on her face. “We have a dinner today with a few of our friends. Liam, please help lady Riley to prepare for it.”
“Of course, Regina. Who are we expecting?” Liam asked.
“Duchess Olivia Nevrakis, Lord Neville, Duchess Adelaide, her daughter and Duke Godfrey, lady Hana Lee and her parents, and a few of the court members.”
Liam nodded politely but started to panic internally. Lord Neville, Godfrey and Adelaide weren’t exactly the first people he wanted Riley to be introduced to. He knew too well how they treated commoners and how awful they could be. He had only about two hours before the dinner to go through the royal protocol, table manners, dress code and how to address who. When he looked up at Riley he noticed she was already studying him.
“Everything’s alright?”
“Yes, it is. I just thought we would have more time before your debut.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that! I was born ready!” she said reassuringly, which, ironically, made Liam even less reassured.
~~~~
“So when I see Hana Lee’s dad I should say ‘ni hao’, right?”
“Correct! And can you please repeat how you would address Duchess Olivia?”
“Your Grace,” Riley replied.
“Exactly. And Lord Neville?”
“…Also your Grace?”
“Yes. How would you address me, then?”
“Your Majesty?”
“No, Majesty is used for Kings and Queens. I’m not a King yet so I ought to be addressed ‘your Highness’.”
“So Regina is her Majesty?” Riley asked.
“Precisely. Now, what is my title?”
“Prince?”
“Full title.”
“Prince Louis of Cordonia.”
“Ye—What? What Louis?”
“Your name isn’t Louis?”
“No,” he shook his head. “It’s Liam.”
“Oh, right! Sorry, I’ve always had a problem with remembering names.”
Liam smiled but wanted to scream. Remembering names was probably one of the most important things Riley had to learn. And she forgot even his.
“Let me get this straight, when I talk to you I always have to use ‘your highness’?”
“When we’re with nobility, yes. It shows respect. When there’s only me and you, or friends and family, you can call me by my name,” he explained.
“Which is Louis!”
“Liam,” he corrected. Again.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Riley apologized. “I’ll just need something to associate you with… Oh! I know! I used to listen to One Direction a lot and Liam was the name of one of the singers! I liked him a lot!”
“Whatever works for you.” Liam smiled, feeling less and less enthusiastic about his mission.
~~~~
Two hours and three braincell losses later, Riley was walking arm in arm with Liam, into the ballroom. She was wearing a very expensive dress, more expensive than everything she owned altogether. She was very stressed and started to regret coming here. Pretending to be the worst suitor in front of Liam was one thing, but pretending to be the worst suitor in front of all Cordonian nobility was a completely different thing.
“Look, there’s Xinghai, he’s coming here,” Liam whispered and Riley nodded as the man approached them. Liam nudged Riley.
Okay. Show time.
“Hey hoe!” She yelled, making everyone freeze.
I hate myself.
“Riley!” Liam hissed, pinching her arm.
“Excuse me?” Xinghai asked as if not believing his ears.
“I think Riley tried to say ‘ni hao’, is that right?” Liam raised his eyebrows and Riley felt sick.
“Yes! Ni hao! I’m so sorry, I’m very bad at languages!”
Xinghai shook his head. “If you say so.”
“Hi, I’m Hana! And this is my mother, Lorelai.” A girl with a very friendly face extended her hand as if she hadn’t noticed that huge faux-pas. Her mom barely smiled at her.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Your Highness.” A man approached them and raised a glass. “I feel deeply honored to be invited here today. Her Majesty mentioned you would bring an American suitor, is this that lovely lady?”
Riley didn’t know who it was but she sure hated him already. She looked at Liam and realized she wasn’t the only one thinking so.
“Lord Neville. I am very happy you could join us. Yes, this is lady Riley, my suitor. Lady Riley, this is Lord Neville.”
“Lord? Like Lord of the Rings? Is that even a real title?” she asked.
“Excuse me?” Neville was confused and Liam embarrassed. From the corner of her eye, Riley could see Regina smiling at the sight.
At least someone is happy with what I’m doing.
“I believe we haven’t met.” A blond woman interrupted them, holding a glass of champagne in one hand and a very unhappy man in the other.
“This is Duchess Adelaide, Duke Godfrey and their daughter, Countess Madeleine. And this lovely woman by my side is lady Riley.”
“Hi y’all! Louis told me so much about you!” She heard Liam sighing.
“Hmph” was all Godfrey said. The rest of the family looked confused.
“Who’s Louis?” Adelaide asked.
“What happened to One Direction association?” Liam whispered to her when the family wasn’t looking.
“I forgot Louis was in the band, too,” she replied.
“If you excuse us,” Liam turned to Adelaide, “but we need to say hello to Duchess Olivia. Thank you for coming.”
He quickly led Riley far from Adelaide and Godfrey, avoiding other court members on the way. He couldn’t do this. At least not today. Riley clearly wasn’t ready.
“Why hello there,” a lady with red hair and a matching dress greeted them.
“Olivia. Hello. How are you?” Liam started a small talk and Riley noticed he was more relaxed talking to her than he was talking to other people. She must be a friend, she thought.
“I’m great. Haven’t been to a party that is as much fun as this one. And it’s all thanks to you. I’m Olivia.”
“Riley. You’re the Ice Queen?” Riley asked remembering Lythikos was a winter wonderland. She hoped Olivia would be offended just like the others but to her surprise the Duchess burst out laughing.
“Ice Queen! I like her already,” she said as she wiped a tear from her eye. “Absolutely loved when she questioned Neville’s title. The man’s pain in the ass.”
“I’m glad you find it funny,” Liam said firmly. Olivia shrugged and turned to take another glass of wine.
“I’m really sorry I embarrassed you, Louis.”
“Liam,” he corrected.
“Liam,” Riley repeated. “I’ve just came to Cordonia and had only two hours to take it all in. I’ll be better in time.” Not sure how better at making you hate me I can get though.
“It’s fine. Listen, it’s me who should be apologizing. As you said, you just came here and within a few hours you had to learn things I learned throughout the years.”
Riley’s eyes widened. She embarrassed him, she humiliated him and he still apologized? She felt awful.
“I still feel bad. I promise I won’t let you down,” she lied and Liam smiled.
“I’m happy to hear that because we’re visiting our apple orchard tomorrow and the press will be there to meet you, too.”
Riley gulped as she smiled at Liam.
That only meant she had to try even harder.
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ji-yaaan · 4 years
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@kendal0ksw Asks: Anyway... I would like to request a sweet honey milk tea of Deuce, Azul, and Malleus (being called Tsunotaro) with a male Yuu kissing their hand. And when asked why he responds that 1. they looked like they needed a little distraction from whatever was troubling them and 2. to show how much they care about them. Hope this is alright...
𝑨 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚
Headcannons with: Malleus, Deuce, & Azul
Note: Someone pls shoot me I don't know how to write 3 repetitive scenarios w/o making it boring asf. So with request that has similar patterns per character, I figured Headcannons would work? I hope it's ok. I tried making imagines but it looked boring... OH! But I added my short Azul scenario as compensation. Blergh enough chitchat I'm thirstea.
[ 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙱𝚘𝚋𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚊 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍... ]
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-ˋˏ•𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒔 𝑫𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒂•ˎˊ-
After a long day of being avoided being the infamous “Malleus Draconia” this fae gets tired from the attention he draws and the lack of attention he gets.
Dealing with Dorm duties, People constantly fearing him for nothing, people approaching him to pry information *cough Rook cough* and to not even get an invite in dorm leader meetings? This just gives him a bit of a headache.
He will probably flee to his room when things get a little bit out of hand and he needs some of that good relaxation time.
Resting his head on the bed. Eyes slowly close. The atmosphere relaxing as breaths slow down. "Welcome back Tsunotaro!" You cheerfully exclaimed.
What? Nani? What in the world? Was he that distracted to not notice you in the room this whole time? Expect yourself a O.O face from you local fae.
"Hmm? I didnt notice you were there Y/n..." Even if your lovely Malleus is shocked, He will still gently smile at you. Eyes narrowing, an endearing smile appears in his face everytime he looks at you.
Slowly, your hands would make it's way to creep in his hands. Bingo! Hand holding complete!
Ok! Time for mission number 2! After a tight clasp on Malleus' fingers, you brought your face close to the hands you held dear, and gave the fae a small kiss at the back of his hands.
As if the shock earlier wasn't enough, The fae's eyes widens in surprise yet again. Malleus definitely doesn't get your behavior at times..... But it's not like he hates it... In fact, He loves it...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
A warm giddy smile paint your face. How infectious... A smile that can melt all your troubles away within a hitch of a second. Malleus can't help but smile ear to ear with the endearing gestures he received.
"But why would you even kiss my hand?" The fae questions in laughter. "Well, you looked pretty troubled today and I dont really know how to help... So I thought that a small kiss will do the trick!"
"You know how much I care about you right?" The answer Malleus got was something priceless. His heart felt warm and fuzzy hearing that someone cares for him. There really was never a dull moment with you.
Expect a little tint of flushed pink in the fae's cheeks for a brief moment. But gotta look close! Malleus won't show it, but he's blushy wushy and melting all over!
Tsunotaro is not much of the type to get the receiving end but he's still very thankful you did this for him uwu.
Expect malleus to give you a kiss on your hand in return too! He can't help but want to share the feeling he got when you kissed his! ^~^
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-ˋˏ•𝑫𝒆𝒖𝒄𝒆 𝑺𝒑𝒂𝒅𝒆•ˎˊ-
Finishing the last lesson of Alchemy class, Spade boi is exhausted. Using too much braincells is not his forte, but he still needs to grind to get to the honor roll!
He will probably stay in the classroom for a bit and study some of the history materials and alchemy reviewers for the test tommorow... Oops, our cutie fell asleep while writing down his notes.
You walk your way to the classroom because you forgot something. But surprise surprise, it seems like the something you forgot is actually a person, not a belonging...ಠωಠ
You peeked at deuce sleeping soundly with his head resting on the desk. You laughed at how cute he looked sleeping with his mouth open.
He didn't even spare time to take off his lab coat. He must be exhausted huh?Worried by deuce, staying for a bit won't be a crime right?
While reading, somehow, your eyes wanders off to his hands that fell off the desk while he grunted "five more minutes." Wow, sleeping deuce is probably one of the best deuce out there huh? You laughed to yourself.
Maybe it was because of boredom, maybe even from worry, or maybe its just because you simply wanted to do it. But you started to intertwine your fingers with deuce... WoaH...
Smiling at how comfortable it was to hold his hands. You prop your face to kiss his fingers. Chu~♡
"Uhhhmmm....." Oh... You got caught redhanded... Deuce wakes up to find you holding his hands... furthermore, YOU WERE KISSING IT! How embarrassing...(O////O)
Looking up at Deuce, You see a red tomato flushed boy. His cheeks up to his ears are painted pink from embarassment.
"Ahaha... Good morning... Oh wait... Good afternoon." Deuce will look away from you bashfully... How embarrassing for him... But face it, this is such a treat for you.
"You know... You've been awfully dazed and troubled these days... Please take take a break too... It's bad if you keep sleeping in random places! I care about you a lot and I don't want to see you stressed ok?"
Deuce was left astounded with the heartwarming speech you gave him... He felt butterflies flew in his stomach, like flowers bloomed inside his heart. Truly touching words...
Spade boi will smile gently at you, pink cheeks like powder blush, and eyes that sparkled Joy.
Expect this boi to grab your hands and put them in his pockets, saying "If taking a break is ok... Then this is ok right? Let's stay like this for a little bit longer... Ok?"
He'll look away in the other direction, propping his other hand and resting his head on it. If you look closely... A delicious red blush can be seen in his neck and ears too!
“Even if Riddle were to scold us, i think it will be worth it”♡♡♡♡♡♡
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-ˋˏ•𝑨𝒛𝒖𝒍 𝑨𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒐•ˎˊ-
After a tiresome day as Mostro Lounge, the lounge closing a little later than the usual, A certain octopus is really tired and frustrated because the work got pushed back in their schedule.
As he skims through the numerous pages of parchment, octo boi let out a sigh from frustration. He has to deal with a lot of things this night....
But what he didn't expect was that you were there to brighten his night!
Have a short scenario cuz I love u ♡
Boisterous laughter. Joyful screams. Drinks spilt in the floors and tables. The lounge was getting rowdier with each passing second. Fights fuming in the other tables. Song being sung across the bars.
What's up with this chaos? Where was Jade and Floyd?.... Oh right... Azul nagged on floyd earlier this morning. He's now in his infamous bad moods leaving Jade the only responsible person azul can rely on. But Jade got his hands preoccupied with stopping fights at the moment... Dammit... This is going to be one hell of an evening.
After dealing with the chaos of Mostro Lounge's happy hour, strain and fatigue was evident just by a peek at Azul's Face.
"Haaahhhh... Dealing with those morons was a waste of time, I've still got a long night reviewing the deals and homeworks... Hah. Wonderful..." The sound of pen scratching the wood rang across the room as Azul hummed a melody trying to relieve stress...
"A.z.u.l. kun! Hello!" You happily hummed as azul got caught off guard shocked. "Hm! Oh! Y/n? When did you get here? Pardon me, The lounge was quite rowdy earlier and we had to close a little later than the usual... Oh wait a second lem me just take care of this..." Fingers swept through the crisp pages of numerous books. His pen lightly tapping a beat in the wooden desk.
Moments pass as seconds became minutes. The pen scratching noises enveloped the room drowning in silence. Azul was lost in thought as he burn through the hundreds of words written in the thin pieces of parchment.
You pout at the thought of azul ignoring you, but it's not like you can disturb his work either. So in the end, you just watch him skim through hundreds of pages and thousands of words. Eyebrows furrowed, he fixes his eyeglasses again...
Lost in thought, your eyes wanders off to his ungloved hand... The back of his hand looked smooth and it looked soft. Caught in the moment of daze, you didn't even realize your hands crept stealthily working its way to lock fingers with Azul. This caused azul to look at you in disbelief and shock as a tinge of pink paints his pale face.
What? Octoboi is confused. What? Why were you holding his hands? What? You're not letting go of his hands! futhermore, your fingers are INTERTWINED! Azul.exe has stopped working. Azul wasn't made for cute moments like this.
"Y/n... May I ask why you suddenly linked fingers with me?" Azul asked with his fingers tinged pink, face was painted red down to his neck. "Well... You looked really troubled while you were doing your work... So I thought that you can use a short break? You looked pretty stressed so...."
Ahhhh.... Azul really should've read that one romance book he once stumbled upon, how does he deal with this? Damn, he surely wasn't made for this... He stared up your eyes only to look away again bashfully.
Pfttt you gotta admit... Azul really looks cute like this. You slowy brought your lips to azul's hands. Chu~♡ a kiss on the hands! bingo! "There! Have a kiss as a token of my love for you and how much I care for you! Hehe!"
That's it, Azul needs maintenace after this... This is just too cute for his soul. Cheeks tinged red, he fixes his glasses up again. His hands lightly squeeze yours as he began to say "Well, I cannot abandon my work and responsibilities... But maybe it's not a crime if its just for a few minutes... Don't let go of my hand ok?" The night at Mostro Lounge was quite chilly than the usual. But the hours that passed by felt warmer with the hold of a certain octopus.
End.
Note: Running low on braincells, Hope you liked this. And yes, I'm currently in my real time Azul loving hours. Time to buy takoyaki~ jk no I'm doing more requests that is rotting in my inbox. Again, sorry if this was not your cup o' tea (༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)
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icecreamkink · 3 years
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so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -
this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 
like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing
ok this will get long so cut it is
how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it
i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe
i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling
was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character
and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK
related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺
ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no
they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn
everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)
loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 
also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time
overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out
THE PARALELOGRAMS
fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting
but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?
i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh
interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 
plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse
like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 
like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain
his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups
weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 
especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 
also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually
 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them
tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  
also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him
i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic
. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  
johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 
but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn
Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 
case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up
billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 
seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 
also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!
i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 
martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it
love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again
“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 
also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait
seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know
interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 
like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls
and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)
feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses
the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior
the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 
that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.
the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       
like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 
like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 
which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far
robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is
hawk............... is there i guess,
 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,
 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.
aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her
moon the bi icon, 
overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 
the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight
and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 
also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .
 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 
robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.
LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun
bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more
 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 
the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good
i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon
also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean
also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic
when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show
when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers
also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts
AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD
i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke
daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging
JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER
daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass
parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now
“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched
this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg
everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers
also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??
stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((
sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe
robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 
also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 
i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break
ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK
so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐
and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 
miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold
also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH
 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 
final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!
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saltedsour · 3 years
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tutorial level lore (for real)
i didnt proofread this after 1.75 hours of typing and that's your fault because i said so
expect typos and nonsense
CORRUPTED:
everybody forgets about him like wtf,,,.???? i swear everybody just goes "HIIIII IM SO HAPPY ALL FOUR OF US ARE HERE" "please i'm right here"
playlist mode also forgot about him 😢
to be fair i forgot about them until right as i started typing
also needs a hug. actually fuck that they all need a hug
the,,, the shortest,,... i i cannot..... they're short oh my gosh
probably one of those wiggly cactus fucks but like angry at everything
also the youngest out of all of em.... babeyyyyyyyy...
110% has a cool scarf i mean come on guys
ok to differentiate between corruption and this fucker's name i'm gonna give him a capital C at the start
tbh they all have that certain vibe that i can't explain rn rn but corrupted and blixer the most so uhhhhhh they vibe together share a vibe yeah
unironically dabs
probably the less focused on MURDERING spicy player shapes
"Okay look ASSHOLES I was the first out all of us to be pink so y'all should really treat me with more respect" they don't
has the best song and ill fight you over that
would look rlly cool if they were like....... not Corrupted just not them
glares at chronos every time he says wink out loud.
his last name's probably kyle
CHRONOS:
doesnt have a face anymore. it's a clock now.
NO his face doesn't mostly tell the time accurately and that pisses logic off the most.
ironically dabs
maybe the tallest but maybe logic's taller i haven't rlly decided yet ok ok
he cant right now he's dunking his bible in milk
rlly wants to eat food sometimes so he just yeets like fucking corn flakes at his face. milky ways also sometimes yeets corn flakes at his face.
"Wowwwww you guys have FACES??? smh."
maybe believes the world is flat
types for 20 minutes after you insult him online
would set fire to the tree of life and watch every second of them burning
the tree's probably fireproof tho and like i don't think fighting the fucking shape goddess went well last time??? didn't it??? now u dont have to worry abt getting ur face hurt that's for sure
Probably part enderman at this point like what the fuck how did you get out of that locked room???? You just see him fucking leave out of another room like OK CHRONOS
says wink out loud
does the most jobs for the tree (outside of what they all usually do)
what they're supposed to do (teach those spicy player shapes to not die) isn't what they actually do now (try to kill spicy player shapes unless they're good enough to not die and get the fuck out of there!!!)
Genuinely misses having a face.
MILKY WAYS:
she has the most braincells. and eyes. three eyes. (and three braincells)
second shortest,!!! will fight you
probably the most reliable at reading anything
"okay guys it's been fun but i'm going to space now" *walks out of the room*
probably would be like rlly competitive in video games and like whenever they suddenly win when you were about to win you hear them gleefully cackling thats actually rlly wholesome wtf me
"guys is the world flat yes or no" "does my life depend on the answer???" "YES. YES IT DOES, CHRONOS." "uuuuuuuHHhhHHhhHh"
probably added megalovania to the group's playlist (if they had one.................)
the tree of life definitely once yeeted the fucker she just grabbed her fucking face and went YEET!!!!! no idea why but that 100% happened
played minecraft and left a review saying there wasn't enough squares
fought Corrupted and won
"i'm gonna munch. i'm gonna crunch" just steals somebody's fucking c h i p s and SPRINTS away
strong shitpost energy tbh??
doesn't know the difference between astronomy or astrology
nobody can see any stars™️ where they live and she rlly wants to see stars™️ (it's her aesthetic ok) (smh) (you wouldn't get it)
they might just be in the fuckign void thats not rlly an aesthetic
LOGIC GATEKEEPER:
doesn't understand most memes tbh
YAAYYYYYY SECOND TALLEST.... or NOT!!!!!!!!!!
"guys ur not being logical....... 💔"
would whisper wikipedia articles to you <3
i'd say they could do the best maths out of everybody but rlly i dont trust them with 1 + 1
unironically would type like... this... sometimes...
"guys why are you awake it's like 3 am" "shut the fuck up logic we're eating stolen c h i p s"
probably has rlly cool legs (i forgot to delete this but now i'm kinda liking what me 10 minutes ago said)
they maybe broke 1 law but it was just one of the laws of reality (like a fucking nerd smh)
T-poses regularly to assert dominance over the three shorter peasants.
actually the only one that still likes the tree of life. "GUYS GUYS SHE'S COOL WTF???" "logic please she fucking deleted my face"
fought Corrupted once and lost
favourite flavour drink is water
everybody probably calls them logic because saying three more syllables is just too hard
BLIXER. THAT FUCK:
angry!!
also dabs but maybe???? ironically (he doesn't know either anymore)
wtf he's directly middle height to everybody (bht he's taller than everybody in that stinky new game form though so good for him)
punches stuff!!!!!
"guys where are my c h i p s"
he has a pupil but only sometimes for no reason
probably went into the tutorial gang like wayyyy after everybody else so he's the new shape™️
"hey guys check out this neat selfie" he just shows them an image of sans
kinda "died" but he actually just took over the world
the tree of life also tells everybody what they need to know rn rn so like she just went "heyyy yeah he died 😭 have fun guys" and went off to go be mean to him for like. ever.
he is a cat. he will never forget that. everybody keeps reminding him plEASE GUYS
ahhhhhhhhhh!! water scary
types for a fucking hour if you insult him online
rlly needs a hug
tired 24/7
probably wears a hoodie. all the time. even in the summer.
most focused on spicy player shape murder.
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keenie · 4 years
Text
Taz Graduation Episode 16 Liveblog! Spoilers Ahead!
Gary: Ey it’s me Gaarrryyyy Me, practically vibrating with excitement: HELLO GARY
Oh a ward... I thought it was literally a stamp fjhgjkkjfkfk
Oh no he’s still cursed and he’s only got six hours?
“Im gonna kill him so bad” YES 
God I forgot how much I’ve missed Argo
“I’m a good listener” You’re doing amazing sweetie
“That’s wild magic” Well Fitzroy’s a wild boy, Althea
Oh no here they come LET THE FIRBOLG AND RHODES GO
ALL MY HOMIES HATE CALHAIN 
Dam Malwyn, that’s one intense speech
Argo and Fitzroy @ the Firbolg after he flipped the tent: You’re doing amazing sweetie
YES FIRBOLG RATIONALIZE YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS
OH NO THE WAR THERES GONNA BE A WAR 
Very quietly humming the Thunderman LLC theme song jfdhhkgkhkf
Spooky music with Thunderwave oh no
Get the weird rune glove!
Clonking him on the noggin is a good second though, to be fair
A bloodhawk? Jfjkgdfjkkjgk 
The D&D gods really apologized to Clint for dragging his characters through the dirt the last two campaigns by blessing Argo with great rolls 
1. Find worms 2. Catch cool updrafts
YES GET HIM
Yes, get the glove! 
Argo, harness your inner Magnus and cut this guy’s hand off (its not an arm, but it’ll do)
Thank you for your storytelling, Clint, I appreciate you
Rhodes... :blush:
Oh boy oh no FITZROY GOING HAM
“Really try to show him all the chaos I can muster” CAPITAL C CHAOS MAYHAPS FITZROY YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS
HEY FITZROY HARNESS YOUR INNER MAGNUS AND RIP THIS GUY’S HAND OF
“You just got pranked, you dumb asshole” 
Dam, this is a cool image
OH NO FEAR OF POWER CHAOS WAS RIGHT
YES STRIKE A POSE
“The problems of the terrestrial world” fjgdjkfdjk
“Please don’t hurt me anymore”  Me, at my hyper empathy: STOP FEELING BAD FOR THIS GUY 
Oh no Althea sounds afraid too, that’s an issue indeed
HEY IS THIS CHAOS’ THEME IN THE BACKGROUND
“He is broken.” idngjkfk GOOD but also DAM
Fitzroy ripped a man’s hand off and turned around and said, “Marriage counseling, anyone?” 
Atturias and Malwyn being tragic lovers... Themmmm 
Wait why did Fitzroy even tell them about the two apples, he got that from Calhain’s mind he could’ve just not done that WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING dONT EAT IT 
YES FITZROY CALL THEM O U T “LIKE ADULTS”
Awwwww this is sweet 
Honestly Fitzroy what did you expect, you ripped a man’s hand off in front of a blazing tent, Chaos loves that shit
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this” jkdfhgjklhlfgklck 
He heard what he said Aaaaaaaaa (Maplekeene rights and also some secrets will be revealed soon I am Excite)
I think this is the first episode in which Fitzroy has the shared Thunderman braincell this plan was great actually
“Extra credit” jfkdhklgkfgk I love the Firbolg
“Would you like to speak with Calhain one last time” How about KILL Calhain one last time Eyoooo!
Argo trying to act:  The Firbolg: No.
“You what.” Mmmm Fake definitely wants to use Fitzroy for something, I don’t this one bit
Oh wait WHAT HEY WHAT THE HECK WHAT THE HECK FAKE CALHAIN IS DEAD NOW?!
“I will see you three back a school soon” FEAR.JPG
“I fear we may have detention” fdjghgkfklhkgfk 
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regesc · 4 years
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@saigeonmain​   :    I'M GOING TO ASK A QUESTION SPECIFIC FOR YOUR BABE THAT ISN'T ON HERE; what is sex like for Noct as a trans person?
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CLAPS HANDS okay cool!! lets do this!! under the cut for nsfw / detail / length.
honestly? i’ll start by saying: noct’s body dysphoria is pretty minimal. AGAIN i’ve stated before but 90% of his dysphoria is social / related to how people perceive him, and generally by the time you’re in a sexual relationship with someone they pretty much know you’re a guy so he rarely feels dysphoric in relationships especially if he’s with someone who is super SUPER understanding about gender / is even trans themselves. remmeber kids!! trans ppl can love their bodies!! gender euphoria exists!
so when it comes to sex! i would said it’s honestly pretty normal. like as you’d expect. though there r some things a little particular about them:
> noct prefers to stay clothed waist up. again his breasts r like. the one part of himself he gets antsy about, so his preferred mode of dress for sex is baggy tshirt! on the worst days he’ll probably try to get away wearing a binder (dont do this dont work out in binders please dont dont be like noct) or some kinda sports bra. i would say that his chest is a no - go when having sex UNLESS he gives express permission / touches there himself!
> he heavily prefers vaginal sex when his partner has a penis / uses toys lol, i dont think he has the brain capacity to ever even attempt anal he can barely function as a human being as it is LMAO. he simply enjoys his vagina! he does! he thinks its neat. as with most things though it does take some manner of trust to get him comfortable with his partner touching him: he’s quicker to trust if u also have a vagina / know what to do w/ him, that sorta solidarity makes it easier for him to Show himself fully bcus hes like ‘well you’ve seen it before ig’ but ultimately with time he’ll go from just letting u do the bare minimum to like, ‘please eat me out im begging im begging im beg’ 
> he usually prefers to be on the bottom but his mood can shift drastically with his comfort level: one minute he’s laying there pillow prince-ing it up and the next u have a very ego-fuelled power bottom on your hands! i wouldnt say he’s passive or what but he just kinda !!! enjoys being taken care of, but there are moments where his own quietness makes him sorta. hmm. dysphoric? hes like. wait im man. & he will attempt to take control for a brief moment. you kinda just. have to let it happen. 
> sex w/ men vs. women is different to him bcus his attraction to men vs. women is different: with men he gets cocky, kinda Loud, kinda ‘i could take u >:)’ but his attraction to women is so .. soft & understanding? w/ a lady partner cis or trans or nb or whatever he would rlly just spend hours taking care of them if they asked him to!! like do u want the prince of lucis on his knees bcus thats how u get him on his knees!! vs. being w/ a guy. he would absolutely turn the entire thing into a fight. lmao. like a show off of how masculine he is.
 i feel like!! how ur attraction to different genders can vary when ur bi comes under the trans umbrella bcus his relationship w/ his own gender affects it / his dysphoria affects it. he would. absolutely. smooch a lady. for a tleast an hour. AT LEAST. & he is a touch more dominant in that regard-- though still a dumb 0 braincell bottom! lol
> he’s learnt to be vocal about his wants/needs so hes not quiet! he’ll tell you if something makes him uncomfortable. though he has this bad habit of his first reaction to being embarrassed being ‘FUCK OFF STOP IT’ which w/ the msot understanding partners usually leads to a game of stop and go that gets frustrating LOL. but he just ! knows what he wants, what makes him comfortable, even if it embarrasses him he’s going to ask for it. so if ur doin it wrong ur gonna know.
> the one thing that does give him anxiety is when the topic of birth control comes up. he isn’t using it nor is he on T so he’s like. neurotic about condom usage when it comes to Puttin Stuff In if ya catch my drift. he’s not emotionally stable enough to give lucis an heir.
> also to note w/ a partner: he is needy & horny & u wont get away from him. that isnt related to being trans thats just noctis. 
anyway thanks for reading !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! trans rights. 
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pavlovers · 5 years
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hello lad(ie)s i apologize for not being all that active for the past few weeks i have been spending my out-of-school hours sleeping, having feverish bouts due to a bad case of the flu/bronchitis/not sure tbh but im Sick, and doing midterm prep so ive just been a bit more exhausted than i usually am,, anyways just wanted 2 say that before thanking dear ol’ diana @britneyshakespeare for tagging me to do a thing, so here is that thing:
A. age - im 6teen, life is sweet when youre growing up so faaast you Gotta make the good times last!
B. birthplace - largest city in the US state connecticut
C. current time - 2:19 am as of posting (my sleeping schedule has still not been fixed clearly)
D. drink you last had - do i seem like the type of person who. consumes beverages that are not. woter
E. easiest person to talk to - my braincells r neat companions sometimes i suppose
F. favorite songs (currently) - hmm i was listening to fast as you can by fiona apple a lot a few days ago,, also i just very recently listened to anderson paak’s oxnard and hh tracks like tints and anywhere the california lust is realllll (im sorta thinking of moving in with my cousin and attending school there after i graduate high school)
G. grossest memory - any time i have ever gone 2 school on my period ever
H. horror yes or no - yeah i enjoy it i guess in the most basic sense. read/watched my goosebumps and my encylopedias of the supernatural as a kid. ive only really read a couple of horror novels and the horror-movies-ive-watched-list is severely lacking but yknow the very least i watch buzzfeed unsolved on a semi-regular basis
I. in love - dont know. dont care.
J. jealous of - people who can go an hour without hacking up half their lungs
K. kids - theyre kool little dudes. not interested in parenting one or multiple ones.
L. love at first sight or walk by again - don't have the personal experience to like. say shit so whatever u wanna believe man
M. middle name - ______
N. number of siblings - half sister, shes 21, barely know her
O. one wish - just wanna be done w high school already without like,, having 2 live thru the rest of it maybe?
P. person you last called - i dont call people
Q. question you always get asked - not a question but. old people like to go on about having old people friends that have the same name as me
R. random fact about you - the only friends i talk to during school are the sophomores at my lunch table who like to burst out random cody ko memes and the girl in my chemistry class who really likes cuffing her jeans and somehow understands delocalized molecular orbital theory
S. song you last sang - the hymn “just as i am” by charlotte elliot for choir class (we r singing a very jazzy arrangement of it its kinda cool)
T. time you woke up - 6:20 am unfortunately (was expecting un delayed opening for school today but snow day calculator fed me lies apparently. Sad!)
U. underwear color - yellow i think im not gonna check
V. vacation destination - been there many times already but like,, id like to go down 2 manhattan w my friend and spend the day w her!! we’ve talked about it many times bc theres nothing to do in southern ct when u cant driveTM but my parents are :// about it also with our dumb ap workloads we probably wouldnt be able to go until the summer
W. worst habit - being a real negative nancy
X. x-ray - had them, yeah. dentist obviously also that one time i went to the emergency room because i couldn't breathe and they wanted to know if there was something in my lungs
Y. your favorite food - i have been subsisting off purely congee for the past few weeks (that's not what it's called in my parents language so it's like weird calling it that but yeah basically rice but it's goopy)
Z. zodiac sign - 🦂
tagging: @murobrown @an-aviary-far-from-home @loneliness-rose @orchestralmanoeuvrez @home-in-orbis and anyone else who would want to i dont even know if ppl do tag things anymore so feel free to ignore if u don't and i tagged u
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apebrain-apera · 5 years
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*Note this will look better from my blog page*
Burying the Hatchet
a memoire by G.S.
Part 3 : EXACTLY WHAT YOU RUN FROM YOU END UP CHASING
Gathering your thoughts so you dont make yourslef look like a idiot is hard work. I think I'm going into this trying to apologize and explain the situation if you ever decided to look at this. And if you don't well that's not really any of my business or concern. Even in apologies its still all about me huh?
It's amazing how easy it is to realize the shitty things you've done when it's already too late to fix the damage, but the best thing to do is start with exposition before you give a whole story. It probably really got bad around graduation. A friend sat between us and I was glad that we didnt have to sit next to each other because I had no way to face you. I was terrified and I acted like an emotionless dick when I should've just tried my best to interact. We saw each other after since someone really wanted to get a picture of "the besties" before we inevitably went our seperate ways. We locked eyes and I ran away because no matter how much i thought I wanted to at least speak to you again, in the moment I'm a coward. That summer was pretty quiet but I found out the day before you left when you were leaving. I panicked and tried to talk which ofc lead to nothing good. I was hurt and said the exact opposite of what I wanted to which never ends well. Thats the last time we actually spoke.
I figured it was time to at least try to move on a month later but the "soft boi" bullshit was actually harder to shake that I thought. That one night I got a dm on my seccond account and saw that suprisingly I was not only blocked but still followed you. All at once my last three braincells fired off on each other "What do I do?" "Do I try to say something?" "What happens if it backfires?". I just decided to leave it alone, but that obviously didnt last long since the entire point of this post is showing how often I find myself chasing an inevitable end that I fear. Anyhow things were fine until your birthday came. I realized what the day was with less than an hour left and ofc I left it alo- no I didnt I did the irrational thing and fucking reached out which then lead to me throwing my phone to a friend who only made things worse. Thats strike two.
The final oof was when I decided to get back on this app. I wanted to make the "Bury The Hatchet" thing after a while of just reposting shit and following people so my feed wouldnt be the same 2 blogs.Of course my brain was fried and I could not figure out how to make a text post properly for the death of me. So I decided to just message the only two accounts that actually follow me. Which then lead to another oof, but that one is even bigger on me since i probably shouldnt have taken the likes and reblogs as actually not hating me anymore. I dont expect this post to do anything but put out that I know I'm an idiot and I did stuff wrong. And also to flex how "psuedo intillectual" I am i mean that IGOR reference is my crowned achievement. nothings gonna top that shit. And to keep up with the format,the moral of this is no matter what I do "Exactly what you run from, you end up chasing. Like, you can't avoid, but just chasing it and just like trying. Giving it everything that you can. There's always an obstacle."
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uriduriragwaenchana · 5 years
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First Impressions
°•° The Boyz °•° || Hyung Line || Middle Line || Maknae Line
a/n: 🅱ack on my 🅱ullshit. Here's not one, not two, but twelve unsolicited opinions.
Sangyeon
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Ghost #1
He disappears and reappears randomly in their choreos and videos and I never saw him if I wasn't actively looking
But when I saw him and placed his name to his face??
Gorgeous
I feel like that's a leader thing though, just disappearing and reappearing whenever and shocking me especially with their visuals
Also there's 12 of them.. It felt like less for some reason
Like seventeen feels larger even if it's only one more member
Yol seem to love him so even if I don't know him yet, he'll grow on me quickly
He's so lorg like why is he so big he looks so much older than the rest of them cause his proportions don't make sense
Shoulders !?
I'm losing my mind at how he's the only one in this group older than me pleASE
I watched them play the mafia game and he was so funny he just sat there,, he literally only sat there and tried to defend himself but it was hilarious
He looks like Victon's leader and VAV's Lou (?the rapper?) smooshed into one person
We stan leaders though, I have immense respect for anyone who has to take care of so many people and still manages to keep it together somehow.
Jacob
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Ghost #2
I had to look for him to see him and I confused him with Haknyeon for half an hour straight and I don't even know why
He is so pretty though??
The bottom half of his face reminds me of Sf9's Jaeyoon for whatever reason
Bae !!! Thats adorable
He's apparently an angel and uno what I buy it
He seems very level headed, owns maybe all of their braincells and soft spoken
His singing voice is lovely,, he's lovely and has a kind of calming effect
English speaking Bae yes
His middle choreo parts in Right Here?? Godtier. Like I didnt expect him to be ?? Such a good dancer ?? He didn't look dangerous like that. Very threatening in a non threatening way.
I really love this blonde/brown-but-its-really-blonde kind of hair he has now it suits him really well
I would trust him with the infinity stones, I know he would save us.
Younghoon
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An open letter to whichever stylist gave him dark hair, Right Here era through to now:
Thank you. I love you. You can have my first born or any of my other worldly possessions. Thank you.
But seriously, thank you that was amazing he really came out of nowhere and put me in a choke hold
He should keep it. He didn't really stand out to me until the long-ish dark hair from that mv and I had trouble placing his face+name
Ghost #3
Another one I had to search for. I don't know why but I blur out faces in large groups until I can perfectly recognise who a member is while I'm learning their names
So I end up not seeing a fat chunk of them until later. I don't even do it on purpose I just ...idk man
His name doesn't match his face and it took me a while to get used to it
He reminds me of Mingyu 'n Jin for no reason other than he's really pretty and kind of quiet, that's it I don't know why my brain makes the association there's no reason
He doesn't look as tall as they're saying he is
Visual?? Visual.
I swear this group has like 6 people labelled visual
Personality wise, he seems quite timid and doesn't engage in the never ending roast sessions so idk that much about him except he seems sweet
I'm looking forward to learning though
And seeing more of his dynamic with the other boys is bound to be fun
Hyunjae
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PLEASE
are yol seeing this man ?? I don't know how this is fair or why, why do you look like this for what ?!
Instant bias: activated. And for no other reason than he was really really pretty, in a very interesting way
I was very shocked to see visual in his profile (because I didn't know groups could have multiple labelled visuals what) but I wasn't stunned by him uno, so I dismissed it for all of a millisecond
And then I watched their solo weekly idol video,, and he came yeehawing into my face. He's actually gorgeous though wtf?? I love his dark brown hair w the middle part (see that gif ooofff, a look. Demonic, but a look) so I look forward to when this blonde thing they're doing goes away since it's no middle part.
He looked like Nu'est's Aron to me for a whilee and now I don't see it anymore. Although sometimes when he speaks or sings or yells I get whiplash and think its Aron lmao
His name is Jaehyun backwards did yol notice
!!! For the longest while admin b was convinced my birthday was 09/13 even if its not (its 09/07) and even if we've been friends for a decade and we're born in the same month
YOU KNOW WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS 09/13 THOUGH !!!
A bias. My Virgo baby yes we stan.
Dont mind me, I'm just WHIPPED.
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b4tty-b00 · 4 years
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Hey! Back at it again with some spicy nonsensical rambles!
Alright, lets go, lets d o this, a h e m, basically I hate myself! Wow, great start, I k n o w. But I dont think you understand. I dont like,,, h a t e myself, I just hate everything about me! I have several v e r y hateable things about me. Like,,, okay, so I have a tendency to be really needy, and clingy! And thats s o annoying,, im also really annoying in general! Like ask my sister, she will for s u r e let you know that I am a p a i n to be around. Im also incredibly dumb! I mean not to be mean to myself, (even though that's what this post is explaining-) but I have,,, just, n o braincells! Ive been failing all my classes this year, I d o n t learn from my mistakes, I clearly cant read the mood in certain situations, I cant f o c u s. Like, all signs point to a very dumb boy who literally will n o t succeed in life. Which, I used to have a positive attitude about, like, my future n junk but once my mother engraved in my brain that I w i l l be some smuck working a bad job, not being able to afford rent, buckling under the pressure of an adult life, and will most likely be v e r y alone,,, like, I just, couldnt think positively after that. Most of my plans for my future c a m e from her, like, its h e r plan, not my own. I didnt even want it, and now shes saying that I wont be able to with the life im living. Like,, ma'am, Im sixteen,,, and all youve been saying to me is how im going to fuck my life up and become the new family disappointment. Do you even k n o w how that feels? And then for you to leave me for an hour and come back to just act like you didnt just break me down into sobs. I hate it. I hate m y s e l f for being this way more though. Maybe if I tried harder, did what she expects of me, actually contributed to the family, she wouldn't treat me this way. Maybe if I was the daughter she wanted instead of the fucked up kid she had it would be better. I t r y too though, i think thats the worst part, like I genuinely try to make her happy, I cook for her, help her with laundry, and cleaning, and I go to the store to help carry bags for her but its just not enough? Its never enough. To be fair, in her defense,,, I d o n t do enough. My rooms a mess, my grades a disaster, im constantly on my phone, I dont do my chores w e l l enough or in the time supposed to. Maybe I really shouldnt act like im the victim when Im really the asshole in this situation. Is there a way for me to fix myself? To actually get over this t h i n g I have? To stop being an emotional wreck and actually d e a l with my problems normally instead typing a long post on tumblr??? Idk,,, maybe there is.
Gosh I could type like 50 more paragraphs of self-deprecating things. Itd get especially long when I get to the bit about what I wish I could do to relieve the auskesidkfnfk of it all. But,,, ive gone on w a a a y too much, ill save that for the next time I feel overwhelmed like tonight. I really wish someone was awake. I was feeling really good today too man,, what happened?
Anyways, Go Listen To All The "Ghost Tunes" (Ghost Duet, Ghost Choir, & Ghost + Guest) Songs By Louie Zong On Spotify Or Youtube
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EPISODE ONE
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“its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle” - aria 
HOH: Jev UPSIDE DOWN: Jacob & Gina NOMINEES: Kiki & Nash POV: Nash FINAL NOMINEES: Kiki & Mo EVICTED: Mo (14-1)
PRESEASON CAST ASSESSMENT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEdLzVoyttU&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=2&t=0s
JOEY
WOO holy shit this cast is filled with such insane personalities, and I cannot WAIT to play this game!
NASH
tell me why i'm already nervous
NASH
waits patiently for mo to pick another damn person to infect
GINA
skghkdgljhgdlj BRAIN HURTY,, sm people to talk to and everyone is so so nice! just glad I'm not winning hoh
ARIA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-bwCxQGRhk
alternative title: im very mean for 20 minutes
KIKI
so far the cast seems very sweet! a little quiet so far but otherwise im really enjoying talking to them!! and i think the twist is a cool idea but could be dangerous.... maybe a little too easy to expose alliances
GINA
I really like this cast! I'm actually really good friends with Aria (but we keeping that a secret) and I recognize Joshua from other orgs! Also, this twist seems super fun!
ARIA
okay,,,,okay,,,ok,,,k my brain is struggling to complie everything ive learned today i am STRUGGLING!!!!
So!! Lets make a tier list
We're working together (didnt even need to discuss)
-Nathan
-Jacob
-Gina
Asked to work together
-Joey
-Joshua
Implied we're working togther but lower tier
-Jev
-Josh C
-Monty
Super Sweet & Nice
-Bri
-Kiki
-Dem
-Mo
Sweet but i want a response
-Nick
-Emma
_saira
-jake
-Nash
So thats what i've gathered for today mostly, Jacob-Joey-Jev-Joshua all seem to really want to work close with me and we've talked a bit of game ( ITS ALL THE Js HELP) and seem super open while the girls seem more closed off as of now, kinda worried gina isnt gonna be active enough but idk, oh also everyone is noticing bri is CHAOS and that nick is talkative/assertive. more to update in a bit but heres a trust ranking for night one, one more thing jev said he doesnt like nathan or nick :OO and someone else mentioned nick being overbearing
1.Gina (i love her to the moon and back)
2. Nathan( the charisma SNAPPED this game go off sir!!)
3. Josh C (they're also charismatic but they're hecking hilarious and our view are pretty similar) 
4.Jev (they cared about me!! and im nice to them and this is just really wholesome)
5.Jacob (LOVE him but we havent talked enough beyond "we're winning this game")
6.Joshua (super fun to talk to, same og community king)
7.Bri (they wont keep info to themselves but shes SO sweet pls take my heart)
8. Joey (hes kinda sketching me out tbh but also he wants to work with me so)
9.Nick (they wouldnt put me up and thats all i could ask for)
10.Monty (PLEASE trust me i need ur braincells)
12.Kiki (sHES SO SWEET AND GOOD AT ART ADORE HER)
13.Mo (existential dread buddies <3)
14.Dem(approached game w/ me,,,but on the first message so might be doing that w/ everyone)
15.Nash (kate protection gang!!!)
16.Saira (we loVE DOGS! and thats it)
17.Emma (feel better soon,,,then pls talk to me k thanks)
18.Aria (dont trust anyone,,,not even yourself)
DEM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykD4dZjsDl0
BRIANNA
https://youtu.be/odNZXz-jNtw
MO
If alliances have been made already, I am gonna have some QUALMS... This cast is very cute, I love meeting new people, let's see we have
Aria - an ANGEL we've been talking about SIX the musical and slime tutorials
Brianna - The first person to recognize me using a Carole & Tuesday song in any of my videos. I'm v grateful.
Dem - He kinda jokes like a mom... 
Emma - I'm friends with Emma outside of the game and she is such a chaotic sweetheart. We been in the house a day and she plays Lois Griffon singing Doja Cat... for what...
Gina - I have not talked with her, I just said hi.
Jacob - Jacob is nice. I think I've yet to have a super positive ORG experience with him tho. So. Yeah.
Can I do the rest tomorrow cus I'm tired and just not in the mood. Okay thank you.
SAIRA
I was a little surprised by the amount of people dming me but they all seemed pretty nice! The twist sounds cool, I'm excited to see how it plays out
JEV
i definitely did NOT expect to win the first hoh but here we are, i have no idea what i'm gonna do but i need sleep so that's tomorrows problem
JOSH C
HELLO! it's your boy josh coming to give you some thoughts on the cast. coming into this game, the only person i know of beforehand is.. JACOB who has managed to snake me in both games we've played together so that's cute. i don't really have a choice but to trust him for now bc that's my only outside connection so we'll see how it goes. he's fun to talk to so i don't really mind but my eyes are PEELED for it going south.
my favorites just from the first night are probably aria, kiki, nathan, and saira. for no REAL reasons other than i just feel like i've had the best conversations with them and they were more fun than the rest of the cast. i'm not sure if those will stay the same but that's HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!
i've reached out to everyone and heard back from everyone (other than nash.. dunno what that's about so i'll just let it sit there. i don't REALLY mind bc it's good if i win HOH because it's a good reason to throw someone up there). everyone is cute enough, though i think i've connected LEAST with brianna, dem, joey, and monty? just haven't gotten a lot of energy back from them but i'm hoping that was just FIRST NIGHT jitters of people not putting in their full effort into their social game.
i'm going to spend today just chatting with people so i have a base relationship with them and that way if jev goes the route of asking people who they'd him to nominate -- i'm not someone they name simply for not knowing who i am. trying to be a little SOCIAL QUEEN. fun and funky so let's hope it pays off.
for the twist, i'm not really sure how to play this. i don't think the first round is going to have the BEST power hidden in it but it'd be nice to know that i for sure won't be first boot. (though i'm feeling OKAY enough that jev won't kill me bc we've talked at least). i think i'm going to wait a minute before i ask someone to send me in, or someone just sends me in on their own accord. that way people don't look at me for having a secret power bc it'll be really easy to narrow down who has one and that's just such an unnecessary way to get a target on your back. i like the twist, it's just hard to figure out how to play it and maybe i should just wait until someone does it for me or i'm one of the later people to get it so i get safety when there are less people in the house and it'll be harder to survive.
xoxo gossip josh
SKINNY NICK
https://youtu.be/yNBReh_pBPk
NATHAN
He's here, he's queer... and oddly enough starting off by not doing a Video DR; however, I think when making an initial first impression/trust list this method seems to go a little smoother... First off, coming right off of Big Brother Pasio and thrown into this game has made my head hurt more than it should. I forgot how annoying and tiresome the initial conversations are with everybody. With that said, I have begun to kinda pick out a path that may be suitable for me this season. In Pasio, my goal was to lay low, not be seen, and form connections. That strategy is going to be partially active this time around as well. I'm a big personality, and while that's fun and cute, I learned by keeping a low profile in the beginning portion while remaining social it does wonders. I don't need to be a Skinny Nick character and be talking in the house call and house chat at every ounce I get. With that being said, this season is full of Pasio players... some in which I had both good and bad experiences with. However, pushing that aside I really have my eyes set and locked on Aria. I have a feeling that the other Pasio alumni may see her for how she played in Pasio and I do as well, but I want to make sure her and I are on as good as terms as possible. She did NOT like me in Pasio, so rekindling that flame is ultra important. Alongside Aria, I get to play with both Monty and Jacob who I've had rocky relationships with in the past, but have grown to become great friends outside this. Working with them is going to be vital, but keeping them too close is suicide. With that being said, here's my initial trust ranking:
1. Aria
2. Jacob 
3. Nash
4. Jev
5. Josh
6. Monty
7. Joey
8. Nick
- - -
END LIST
JOSH C
okay, well nominations just came out and i can't say i'm too surprised that nash got nominated for eviction considering she hasn't responded to me yet and most everyone else is saying the same. i can't really imagine anyone using the veto on her unless she has a complete social turn around in the next 24 hours but that seems like.. a stretch. just gotta hope she doesn't win! we love an easy first week boot!
i'm a little sad about kiki getting nominated because i've really hit it off with them, but i think it's a good way to secure some trust with them and spark off a relationship. i've been trying to already be like YOU GOT THIS, YOU'RE STAYING! NASH DOESN'T TALK TO ANYONE! and i think they're being receptive. i like that i can joke around with them, so i'm hoping they enjoy me as much as i enjoy them.
i've also had aria and jake come talk to me about noms which means they trust me and that's GOOD. i want to try to secure something with them soon because i think they're both people that would want to work with me and i know that jake doesn't have a lot of connections already so being an early ally of his would be BIG.
just trying to focus on being a cute little social presence so people don't really focus on targeting me early on. i think this is a game full of half social players and some.. not so exciting people so it'll be easy to just slip through by not being the most boring person around. i don't want to promise TOO many people loyalty just yet but i think building a small core for myself will be important to keep me safe and i'm hoping that can come with jake/aria/kiki/jacob(?)
JAKE
chile............. where the fuck am i?
i dont know what dimension i'm in right now with these people but i am ready to show them what i am made of!! so far i've felt..... on the outs of most of what is going on so im just gonna give my perspective on things so far!! 
the cast....... ill just do an assessment
dem: said maybe three words to me since we've started... so there's that
saira: seems like a queen! i def need to talk to her more i've been sleeping on her and i think we'll get along well
joey: girl sometimes idk what this man is saying to me but we're rolling w it..
nash: her "sick" ass hasnt responded to my message from yesterday so bye
joshua: oh he can work! hes fun to talk to and i def see some potential to working with him. hes only 16 so yung so pure i remember those days </3
nathan: hes so hot god i literally want to eat his entire ass but i dont wanna be creepy so im trying to subtly flirt with him SDLKJFSKF he seems to be a sneaky player to me but hopefully thats not the case and we can be a showmance later on hehe
emma: LEGEND. QUEEN! PUT SOME RESPECT ON HER NAMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ride or die in this thing <3
jev: oh jevfrey my angel im so happy he's here!!! he's a loyal guy from what i remember and ill def be working with him ESPECIALLY now that hes the first hoh ayyyyY!!!! i feel completely safe with him
kiki: oh i LOVE THEMMMM we had a great connection from the jump and i have a soft spot for them for sure. theyre sadly nominated this week i did not know why jev made that decision but i will make sure they stay know THAT
monty: monty left me on read :( we had a kinda awk convo so idk how monty feels about me right now?? i def dont think he trusts me and ugh i hate the tension!!!!!!!! i hope we can resolve it all and be friends again
josh: KDJKFG i love this man... hes not entire truthful and is def playing me a bit but i think he's great and hopefully he doesnt turn out to be the snake i think he has the potential to be
gina: idk what to think of this girl she doesn't reply much to me and we haven't really spoken much for me to really get a good read of her. i infected her and idk if she'll take that a certain way i came to her with the explanation that we just havent talked as much. idk shes fine?
mo: hahhaha hes a cutie too and i think hes not much of a talker so i think hes nice for the most part it's just kinda hard talking to him sometimes
brianna: um....... yeah we haven't spoken yet and she infected me so idk how to feel about her yet. she claims it was this number system but do i fully believe thats what she based it on? not really.. so ill def have to talk to her more
aria: NOW THIS........ THIS IS ELEGANCE. THIS IS CLASS. THIS IS EXPENSIVE. THIS IS TASTE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! this 15 year old girl has me shaking to my god damn core with her social game within a 20 minute conversation ive already devoted my entire game to her and our "attention whores" alliance. iM GAGGGEDDDD i really like her and i know shes a big threat but if shes with me then we can do some damage together hehe
skinny nick: SKINNYYYYY i dont have much to say about nick i think they're well connected in this game so i have to make sure i'm good with them a little more. our convos are a little dry hopefully that'll change as the game goes on
jacob: a sweetie.. i really like jacob as a person but as a player he scares the shit out of me DSLKFGFKJ he lied to me like every round in BBHOS9 so i dont rly know if i can trust him. he def has other friends in this community hes playing with so ill have to sus out who exactly that is...
and......... yeah! kiki and nash are nommed. gina n jacob went to the down under. i think jacob will def get whatever power is down there he is one lucky man so i wouldn't be surprised if it's something good. oh well hopefully when i go i get whatever the best thing is a dpov mayhaps!.......
i hope the next hoh is something i can win because i want these people to TALK TO MEEEE tell me where their heads are at for god's sake! me on day 2: why arent you telling me all your alliances? dFGKLF i feel like im okay just gotta talk to some said people more and try to make sure they dont hate me!
JOSHUA
I thought Jev was nice but I'll have to go back on that because he absolutely is not fooling a single person, I thought we'd be allies but he's been acting sus all day so he can choke on rat piss. Joey and nick literally aren't talking to me at awl so... they can choke and die too. Aria is talking to me a lot but I know she talks to everyone a lot sjdkjds queen of big brother pasio... but I trust her for now I guess. Other than that I'm not super like concerned with anyone else I mean brianna kiki gina mo are nice I guess.. mo is a little hard to talk to though so :( anyway glad to be here but my social is kind of rocky skjdjskdj : ( ( ( ( ( 
JEV
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SKINNY NICK
https://youtu.be/0Kb-twzCkYI
MO
trying to hint to dem that I’m not okay... wonder if it’s working
ARIA
its week one. its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle im sick of this, but its fine im gonna try to do my best to explain EVERYTHING bc whew is there a lot..
First off lets start with the fact ive been talking with everyone from the moment i woke up and my fingers hurt so much but also now people like me and thats all i need in life so heck yes!! So when it was nash vs kiki i start planting seeds to keep kiki with people and then nash wins veto so thats thrown out the window yayyyy- 
Things start happening after jev renoms Mo. First off i get a call with crack kills (joey bri me) and we discuss the vote a little bit with Joey leaning towards keeping Mo and Me/Bri wanting to keep Kiki, joey leaves and me and bri talk about the alliance we were invited to (jacob josh jake kiki us) and then i notice theres a house vc which i then go and join alone.
It was silent for a bit before they mentioned they were talking about votes and were being kinda secretive about names but i asked directly so Mo tells me that dem told him that there was 5 confirmed votes against Mo (nash Jacob Nick Joshua/Jacob(dont remember which) and Josh c) he said the names really fast so i mightve missed a few and nathan interjects about my notes and like??? shut up nathan???? anyways i act all shook about an alliance and we talk about votes and apparently when mo campaigned to bri she just sent "hugs" and im caCKLIGN FDSGFDSH anyways that confirmed 5 votes is gonna make people nervous and cause people to keep Mo which like, im not totally against but i just want a unan vote please. Also i think dem & emma dont really trust me which is big ughhh idk if one of the pregame girlies (any of the names from that list) win hoh next week ill throw one of them utb easy peasy 
So then i start asking around to gina and she ghosts me??? gina NEVER ghosts me so im sketched out there and Mo is asking for my help when i already told kiki i would save her its such a messsss. So if i had to guess the sides i would say 
PREGAME GIRLIES: Nash Jacob Jake Joshua Josh c kiki
UNCONNECTED NOT PROTECTED: Dem Joey Emma Nathan Mo
Whomst: Saira Jev Monty Nick Gina Bri
Help: Aria
So, where do i go from here? How do i make sure this vote comes out hecking even,,, im not sure. nvm i am sure because Mo just told me they want to give up HFBHJBSDFS MO MY SAVIOR ILL NEVER FORGET YOU KING <<<<3333333 okay nvm hes not fully giving up but im giving him an avenue that would make my life much easier where im telling him to have good convos with people so they connect more and if anyone feels moved theyll come to me and ill get the ball rolling with a easy peasy unan vote hopefully. But i think i might be able to manipulate this situation to my advantage WHEW im hyped now!!
So lets say mo leaves the thought of those "five confirmed votes" is still gonna be in peoples heads mainly dem/joey/emma/nathan which might form into a side and go hard for hoh taking out some big social player and then we have two sides going after each other which would be cute.
I would make trust rankings but i trust no one fbhsafd and thats on pewiod
JAKE
WHEW!!!!!!!!!!! im not the first boot :~) let's celebrate that.... 
but i'm not too thrilled about these noms...... im happy nash won POV she started talking to me more and shes actually really cool so i wanted her to stay. i am sad kiki is nominated i don't want them to go at all..... and mo being the replacement nominee was a shock to everyone i think..... 
i don't have a problem with mo leaving cuz we have a weak connection i just thought dem was going up based on my prior conversations with jev. he says dem started talking to him more but i just wish jev would talk to me and emma about his decisions if we're "aligned"?? like whats the point of having an alliance if we don't have any say in your decisions?
today i woke up to a message from josh asking me what i think about being in an alliance with jacob brianna aria and kiki........ and im just like wtf where this come from and he said that jacob is making it and its just his fave ppl??? im like ok like im not one to turn down an alliance but i let him know that i dont rly trust jacob n brianna as much as the others in the alliance. hopefully this makes him feel close to me and not blab his mouth to jacob ab that! 
brianna has yet to speak to me and jacob is just someone im always gonna have a hard time trusting sooo if i have to nominate them down the line i won't hesitate unless this alliance is genuine and helping me in the game.
i really only trust emma so far with aria being my secret spy and big meat shield im gonna need in this game. aria's super well connected and im hoping she'll be able to provide me w the information i need to take bitches down later on. 
i think i'd be worried about brianna winning bc we've never talked but at least we have this alliance possibly in the works?? and i dont know if nick would nominate me we haven't talked much..
but i want to win the next hoh so people actually talk to me LOL praying i can win
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ts-2020-olympics · 4 years
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Episode 13 - “Put On My Villain Attire” - Sammy
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This week was a lot, I made a mistake socially that hurt someone, and i couldnt be more disgusted or hurt with myself tonight. I feel awful for what i said about nicole, after tribal i cryed like a kid on call with sammy and Caeleb. Reaching out to nicole was hard because i dont want her to think im coming to say sorry as a game move. I respect nicole as a person, as a player, and I made a mistake, and it was time for me to own up to making a personal comment in context that should not have been personal. Now getting that out of the way, this week was crazy, the vote was Tommy, then Jacob, Then nicole, cut to tribal Nicole is excused from tribal, which im thankful for because i actually got to reach out to nicole after to say sorry for my comment.  Getting a response was the last thing I expected from her. And it made me happy to get one, especially such an understanding one that came from her realizing that was not my intentions. Game wise going forward, im aware theres cracks in this alliance and im not 100% safe. But im gonna ride it till i cant no more. I don't want to think game tonight but obviously i need to keep thinking about the game. Immunity wise, i dont think its necessity that I need to win, Even after I had a blow up and such i still feel like those in the game understand how hard it was for me tonight and my truth of how i didnt mean to hurt nicole. I still feel the most close to Sammy and Caeleb, they where there for me tonight after tribal while a cried, so was Kevin and Emma, idealy these people are the people I want there with me at the end of the game. In other news, Darcy has exposed himself as someone who has voted out sammy, meaning the list of people who need to go before I need to start backstabbing gets longer Stoner, Tommy, Nicole and Darcy are IDEALLY the next 4 boots, but u never know what will happen in this game! I could be working with Nicole next round for all I know. ANYWAYS TLDR: Im sorry, me and nicole are fine, im in a good place in this game. Thank u for coming to this LONG ASS confessional. 
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im dying, so its been fun toodaloo 
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Actually feeling very frustrated atm. I wanted this immunity so bad. The way Nicole plays this game is very frustrating and I’d love to see the way she actually plays the real game. Is she just gonna sit under the hut and ignore everyone that approaches her. She just lies about everyone and the minute someone does something against her she cries in her host chat. I’m usually not a mean person but she deserves to be the villain of this season. I literally have always looked up to Nicole as a player bc I have seen how genuine and kind she can be. But this game has really tossed out how i viewed her as a player. As a person sure she’s great but there’s a way to play this game by having good character. I would hate to see me leave before Nicole but if it happens and she makes it to the finals that’s okay but she won’t have my vote poor management. Anyways don’t wanna make my whole confessional about Nicole since she’s made the whole game revolve around her actions already. I’d like to personally shoutout Jordan caeleb and Eve in this confessional. Truly are the rays of sunshine in this game. I have my doubts about Kevin, Emma, and Darcy because I think that they have connections to Nicole. Someone is playing everyone and it’s so frustrating. I was so close to winning this immunity. I need to survive. Also I am very annoyed that caeleb has not had to stress a single round since merge. Yeah he’s my closest ally but like it’s annoying i want someone else like me to be immune and i know it’s selfish but it’s just annoying. I need to figure this out. I might have to put on my villain attire for this round. 
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IMMUNITY? IMMUNITY? I HAVE THAT? Oh my god I think this may be like the first immunity I've actually one in the history of my Tumblr Survivor career (although checking the records there was one time I was just like individually immune for no reason during Seychelles premerge and I do not remember why) I needed this SO BAD, and even better is everyone is PISSED at me for winning, nobody can figure out where I figured out all the colors and it's SOOOOOOOOO FUNNY god bless, long live the underdog bayyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 
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Okay, so here goes.   To start off my confessional for this round, that past tribal really was a mess.  Nicole played a tribal skip, so she survived, which was a good play on her part, but it led to some messy scrambles, and ended up losing probably my closest friend in this game (Love you Jacob <3,)  I ended up voting in minority with Jacob to keep my word, even though I knew majority was on Jacob.   In this game though, you got to take risks, and if the risk of keeping my word to my good friend outside this game ends up being my downfall, then so be it.   However, one isn't going to win by playing it safe every round and voting with majority all the time, you got to vote in minority at times too and try to at least make some bold moves, to get out the threats, otherwise, you might as well just give them the money, as those players would all make finals, and one of them would win.  Then where would the sheep be?   They would be at the jury, alongside those who they voted out.   Now, terms of this round, Nicole and I are trying to come together to split up the power trio of Eve, Caeleb and Sammy.   Plan is to try getting out Eve, as Eve has everyone basically wrapped around their finger, which I do not like, and I think Eve has the best chance of winning this game if they make it to the end, so yea Eve has to go.   I've also been hearing though, and sounds of things, Emma is wanting me out, and her reason I think is pretty well just because I haven't been voting with her.  It's like, I have only been to 3 tribals so far with Emma (4 if you count this one,)  and I voted with her the one tribal against Karen, then other tribal was just because I wanted to be loyal to my friend, and keep my word.   The first time though, was because I found the other person more threatening to my game.   Anyways, I am fighting my all right now to stay, and not going to back down, but if I end up going, so be it, I know I played a great game, and am glad with everything about it.   Pitching to people though that I'm not threatening at all, I literally have 0 moves on my resume at the moment, and how I just want to try beating 7th, because as of currently, 7th is my best placement.   Here goes nothing, and hopefully cards fall right, and Eve gets slain.
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I’m kind of feeling hopeless after this round. Nobody actually wants to make the moves that need to be made, nobody wants to do anything actually smart. People are just being so short-sighted and playing for jury. Eve has an ego and will use it to make you believe that it’s her way or the highway. I feel like any cast with more than three braincells amongst them could really do something but, they won’t. Caeleb will win immunity yet again next round. I’ll go, then one by one they’ll go. I really just like, have no energy to guide these dummies to anywhere anymore. I’m tired. Even with immunity people are just ridiculously fake and annoying. 
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I think Emma is the plan for tonight. She's playing a double agent type of game which is super dangerous and people are starting to see through it plus me and her don't have the best past so I'm fine with Emma going. It gets me to the Final 10 and gets me one step closer to the Final Tribal Council. I also think once Emma goes I'll be nobodies #1 target and that'll put me in a good position for next vote as long as Nicole doesn't win immunity again. Although who knows things switch around in this game so fast and it could be me going home because if Emma gets wind of her name being out there I see her coming for me just because of our past and I do think there is viable reason for people to flip their votes onto Me, if Emma campaigns for me to go. I'm hoping my name doesn't get dragged into the conversation and it just stays between Emma, Eve, and Darcy so I have no chance of going home tonight. I'm just gonna lay low after this bit of strategy talk but be around if the wind starts to shift onto me.
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Fuck I’m not home and don’t want a stike this will be a quick confessional, Sammy I’m so fucking sorry about this but you have such a good social game and I need you gone to free up the field. Formed an alliance with Darcy today that was random but now I actually trust him which is wierd. Still fucking people over with Nicole it’s crazy how that’s working. Next round is final 10 o need to make it past it or I might cry, once I pass that hurdle I’ve never heard passed I’m good. 9th- 1st no bitter Jordan pines, don’t get me wrong though, 1st is still most preferred and it’s seeming achievable
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Bye bye Sammy 
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Ahh I have to turn my phone off and can't find confessional but my confessional is that I hate myself for voting Sammy 
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I ate dinner, We're doing Sammy. Maybe these people have four brain cells instead of three. I however, still just have the one bumping around in my ear canal saying I might have a chance to win the game which is in fact, the stupidest thought I've had this whole round.
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well well well....this round is a BIG OLE MESS, so i went into it last night thinking the vote was gonna be emma because she was leaking to nicole, but then i woke up and i guess the vote is on darcy, but Nicole tried to pull a vote on eve but because emma was involved and very loose lipped I would not have felt comfortable hiding that for almost 5 hours, so i told eve LOL.... but that built my trust up with eve and I thought it would make eve doubt emma even more but instead it seems to have made her want to keep her? which maybe means emma leaked the vote already?? which would be a good thing for me because then i didnt try to hide info that eve already knew, but so then that landed the vote primarily on darcy but honestly if darcy goes home this game is likely in the bag for eve, so I had to come up with something quick ! I have no idea if this is gonna go through but i put all my energy into selling this sarah vote like it was the end all be all move for us to make, when i dont think it is but if sarah can go home then the 5some that im viewing as Sammy/Caeleb/Eve/Jordan/Sarah would be down to 4 meaning theres wiggle room at the final 10 to potentially make a power move on a big player, without them being able to stay 5 solid and threaten rocks. They all seemed kinda hesitant but came around so im nervous, eve also asked for a back up plan which I said could be stoner, but the fact that she asked makes me nervous that shes gonna try to pull a fast one and be like "I think sarah has an idol we need to flip it !!!!!" which would be annoying but i wouldn't put it past eve. This also keeps all my potential numbers in those being nicole and then tommy/darcy emma and stoner, again IF this goes through, i could've lost darcy but then i just a 5v5 or if emma gets bold then a 6v4 and im powerless again. I think this was where i need to make a move and i hope it goes through but if it doesn't at least i tried !!!
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I think tonight the night ladies, TONIGHT THE NIGHT I AM RELEASED, i mean if not sarah goes home and its whatever. I love love sarah and feel bad for blindsiding her like this. But I have confidence in Kevins decision here, hes trusted me, I have to trust him now.
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