#you don’t realize weight till it’s gone etc etc
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Marriage? (Per request)
We know everyone in the Devildom is in love with MC, they would die for you. But would they make that next step? Could they handle marriage to a mortal human? Could they watch you age and die?
**Disclaimer**
This is just my personal opinions… I usually stay as close to the canon story as possible, but in this event, I’m probably going to stray a little. Also, I don’t include Mephistopheles, Thirteen, or Raphael as they aren’t dateable as of now, and I don’t include Luke because he is baby. No lewd the child. That being said, let’s get into it.
Lucifer:
This man would give you everything. He would definitely track down at least two ways to make you immortal, but he would leave the choice up to you. I think he would absolutely stand beside you regardless, so long as it doesn’t become an argument involving his pride. So long as any discussion involving it remains mature and responsible, he wouldn’t push. If it becomes a childish argument with accusations, I could see his pride taking over and trying to force the issue.
So yes, Lucifer would marry you regardless. He would absolutely care for you regardless of your choice. If he has to watch you die, he would do so with quiet respect. He would likely never love again afterward, because he waited thousands of millennia for you, he doesn’t want anyone else.
Mammon:
The avatar of greed is a given that he wants you to choose immortality over death. He wants every minute he can have with you and then some. Like Lucifer, he wouldn’t force that upon you, it would be entirely your choice, but he really, really wants you to stay. (As in choose immortality) If you choose to remain mortal, he’ll cope, but he may seem occasionally distant as your health begins to fade. But he would stay by your side until the final moments.
Yes, Mammon would marry you regardless… but it would destroy his heart to watch you die. Like his older brother, he likely wouldn’t love again afterward, he couldn’t go through that kind of loss again.
Leviathan:
You’re his Henry. He doesn’t know why anyone, especially someone as wonderful as you, would love him. He wants you to be with him forever.
If you choose to remain mortal, he’ll take it very hard. His low self-esteem would convince him that you would rather die that be with him forever. He’d move past it to a degree, but he’ll always struggle with your decision.
Yes, he would marry you, even if you became mortal… but amongst all of his brothers would become the most distant toward the end. He just wouldn’t know how to cope. He definitely won’t love again, and it would take an insanely long time to every interact with his brothers on a normal level.
Satan:
It could be said that Satan knows more about how humans feel and think that most any other demon in Devildom, based upon his readings. He knows humans have debated immortality throughout their existence, so he knows the conflict you will feel as you debate immortality. He wants you to choose immortality, but he realizes the weight of that decision.
Satan would marry you regardless of that choice however, so it was never up for debate with him. Your choice is only one of many decisions you will face together. If you choose to remain mortal, he’ll care for you till the end, doing everything possible to keep you with him for as long as he can.
He could love again after you’re gone, but the bar as already high, and you raised it higher.
Asmodeus:
He loves you more than he loves himself, and that is absolutely an achievement. He will absolutely need you to choose immortality for him if not yourself.
If you choose to remain mortal, he wouldn’t marry you… he wouldn’t leave you, but he wouldn’t propose. He would remain steadfast through your life, loving you, caring for you, etc., and he would do so happily. It would be a marriage in everything but name. He would start seeing others to meet his needs once you aged and became uninterested or unable to have sex, not for a lack of love, but simply because he needs it as the avatar of lust. I fully believe you understand and support him on that decision, knowing your demon’s heart.
Once you’re gone, he will feel a huge void in his life that he may never manage to fill. It will be an incredibly painful time for him. I don’t think he will ever marry, it was you or nobody for him.
Beelzebub:
Beel wants to share everything with you. His food, his life, everything. He wants you in it. He’s a simple demon. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy. He wants you to be with him forever, but if you choose to remain mortal, he’ll accept it and continue to love you regardless.
He’ll absolutely marry you, there wasn’t ever a doubt. He’ll love and care for you until the very end.
I don’t think Beel would love or marry afterward. Not because of the inability to, although he would grieve for a long time; but because he just doesn’t openly interact with others outside of his family.
I will admit he is the biggest wildcard in the brothers group, because he could if he met just the right mix of person, but it isn’t likely he’d meet anyone that makes him feel like you did.
Belphegor:
Look, I’m a Belphie stan. I love this lazy brat. Possibly because I identify with his feelings easily. (And he’s adorable for a murder cow)
If you choose to remain mortal, he wouldn’t marry you. There is a solid chance he would end your relationship, because he’d feel you were rejecting him. He could get over that aspect and realize it isn’t a rejection of him, but of some other reason, but he would always deal with the sting of your choice. He would continue to love you and be around, but he would struggle with your choice. And once you pass he would grieve as deeply as any spouse. I doubt he would truly ever move on from it, and he would simply go back to his sleepy life before you, with less anger, but not willing to open himself up to loss again.
Barbatos:
Our favorite butler is a marvel isn’t he? He takes care of Diavolo full time and still makes time for baking lessons with Luke and to date us too? He’s much like Satan in regards to knowing how humans have struggled from the beginning with the issue of mortality vs immortality. He knows the struggle that takes place within you as you make that choice… and accepts your decision. Unlike most of the others, he doesn’t let himself be too conflicted… of course he wants you to be with him forever, but if you choose not to, then he simply has to enjoy the time he does have. (I tend to believe he doesn’t look at his own timeline out of principle)
He would marry you regardless, so long as his master allows it. He’ll dutifully take care of you your entire life, and will be by your side until the very end. He’ll be forever thankful for you and your love, but will likely not love again.
Solomon:
As an immortal human, he knows the highs and lows. He’s watched his family age and die, he’s buried his children and grandchildren. He’s watched empires rise and fall. He, better than anyone, would know exactly what this choice is like and what it entails.
Solomon would marry your regardless of your choice. Losing you will hurt him, maybe more than he has ever hurt… but he would make the choice for you any time. Immortal as he is, he’s still human, and humans are greedy, so he will always want you to change your mind. He’ll ask you time and time again if you’re sure you don’t want to change your mind.
He likely won’t love again. He’ll simply do as he has always done and fall back into his detached, aloof pattern, and remain that way.
Simeon:
As an angel, he’s known that the mortality of humans is a fact. I mean, Solomon is a clear exception to the rule, but that was just a side note. While he would love you to always be around, he doesn’t expect you to make the choice to be immortal.
If he’s allowed to, he will marry you. He loves you deeply and dearly. He would remain steadfast at your side regardless of your mortality, and in the end he would take care of you and love you as tenderly as ever.
If he’s not allowed to marry, I believe he’d do everything possible to remain at your side and love you. He’ll always be beside you, come what may.
(I split this up because the current story he has lost his angelic powers and is in a strange sub human state. Neither human or angel. My personal hc on this is that he’s close to where Lilith was when she was judged. He could be at the brink of being cast out as either a human or falling to become a demon. It’s still possible however that he manages to return to angel status.)
Diavolo:
It isn’t easy to be the ruler of the Devildom. He’s got the weight of the demon world on his shoulders, as well as working to maintain the balance of the three realms. That was before he met and fell in love with you, his human exchange student.
As much as he loves you, he has things he is obligated to. And your choice is literally do or die for him. You cannot remain mortal and sit beside him as his partner. He doesn’t necessarily like that, but it’s a requirement to the job. (Personally, my hc is that whomever he marries takes on a mantle of power that would automatically make them immortal, but as we know, Diavolo’s mother died… so idk)
If you choose mortality, he could not marry you. He wants to, but it wouldn’t be possible. He would have to marry someone else.
He would still love you. You have this monarch’s heart. Losing you is something he would never get over… but he would have to move on. He would ‘love’ but not in the ways he loved you.
My MC is AFAB, but I write non-gender whenever possible. My personal MC is in a poly relationship with all the dateable characters (except Luke, that is my child). My hc is that they’re all good with this arrangement as it isn’t uncommon within the Devildom. The only sticking point comes with matters of succession in respect of Lord Diavolo’s children, but as only his biological children are in line for the thrown, or he has to designate a chosen successor, this issue becomes moot. My MC would choose immortality, because they really want to be with the boys forever, and know how badly losing you would hurt them. They feel no grand loss at leaving the human realm, although they do visit from time to time for various reasons.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me lucifer#obey me headcanons#obey me!#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me leviathan#obey me mc#obey me asmodeus#obey me belphie#obey me beel#simeon obey me#obey me solomon#obey me barbatos#obey me diavolo#chaos sheep rambles
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Do you have any tips to help someone who keeps failing? I have been trying for several years now to get started and feeling more and more hopeless every year. I have attended $$$ events, lost weight, moved closer to major cities. Then of course COVID struck and made things worse. Is there something I can do that can help me gain an "in" or are certain things just not meant for some girls.
KEEP TRYING !!!
Yes i screamed it... but that’s because thats the most important thing in succeeding.
Secondly Congrats on taking the steps and trying.....
(THIS MIGHT MAKE MAKE YOU NEUROTIC.... If you already are then DO NOT DO THIS)
The following is also important
1.) Have you asked your self why you keep failing?
Take a pen and paper and spend an entire day by yourself. Think, play things over in your head and Analyze.... This is probably the only time i truly suggested, over analyzing the crap out of your life, decisions, faliures and successes.
(a) What mistakes, do you keep making? or What mistakes do you think you keep making.
(b) what makes them mistakes
(c) Would those actions have worked out better in something else or displayed to someone else
(d) who and/or what would this action work on
2.) List your obstacles ... Every single one you could think of...
Make 3 categories
.....Obstacles you have gone through - What caused it? who caused it? (Regardless of who caused it... You owe some responsibility... so still own up to it... But remember BE KIND to yourself...)
There is a fine line between being kind to yourself and completely absolving yourself of any responsibility when owning up to the responsibility of things gone wrong
......Obstacles repeated - How do you NOT repeat this Again?
.......Obstacles Imagined and Obstacles that could still happen (based on different things, character flaws, finances, men’s personalities, race, looks, nature) Get as detailed as needed.
Man plans and God unplans ...
However, as humans we have ability to at least create contingencies... try to come up with possible contingency plan and POSSIBLE action on how to still not stand still when one of those obstacles appear... Basically figure out another way to scale through, wiggle through, swim through... whatever way (As long as there is life, health and will... there is a way.... After all people have clawed out of dungeous using only a stick or even their finger nails)
3.) What have you tried that didnt work? or keeps failing... List it
4.) What ever #3 is that didnt work... What is the alternative that you haven’t tried.
5.) Clearly you see this as an investment if you have lost weight, moved etc... What is missing in the picture? (I don’t know you, nor have I spent time with you or know your thinking process or views... So this is something even if you dont know what is missing... You have to sit and think... Sleep on it, give it time but remain introspective but be mindful to know when clarity presents itself.
Being brutally Honest with yourself is the only way to know what is missing and where you are missing.
Example: I met a gorgeous black girl A few months ago. From the get go, I knew she was hypergamous... The men also knew. But there was something missing and i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Until we were all talking with the men present.
She carried herself as a pretty girl, sweet and bubbly... But she made the mistake of trying to emulate the white woman’s countenance... So she could be doted on same as a white woman... I can’t explain this in detail.
But while it is good to emulate things noteworthy in other people... She lost her self and her own personal spark. As a black woman... She avoided the pitfalls of a stereotypical black woman (quote on quote)... in the process, she mistakenly lost her goddess quality and blended in with the rest. The men moved on from her.
My Point is: WHAT IS MISSING... Are your run of the Mill? What is your core
6.) Standard -
Do you have set standards? expectations of yourself and of the Men and of your surroundings?
Do you keep it? Do you up hold it or do you switch or lower it under pressure?
Not to give too much information... I refused to live in the poor neighborhood when i moved off college campus. I lived in a condo and lived Smack in the center of the wealthy part of the city. I was not in this lifestyle then... But it was simply my standards... And even though it meant staying on campus longer till i got it... I did that.
Example 2: I have friends who do not care what hole they enter to get entertained (granted you can meet people anywhere)... But I am not the type that goes out very often... So why will i waste my few outings in some frat boys bar or club. So I go to high end places.
Example 3: I met a man who recently sold his company with upwards of $80 Million... I wasn’t told... I was aware of the process and listened to him through the proceess complain about delay in the closing and trying to avoid tax etc
He was deperate to meet me in person. As a matter of fact the day he closed. He flew me to his city (I went cause i was bored). Long story Short... He is the type of man that got lucky... There isn’t much in terms of comparison... Thinks he knows everything, thinks himself black people’s savior and makes comments such as “If there were black women like you”... Has some racists views he doesn’t think is racists... I met his friends... I liked one (But he just recently got remarried and was the smartest of the bunch). They had pissing games who had thr most rolex collection etc... He was crazy about me... Still is even without so much as a kiss and i spent a weekend there. (Had my own hotel room)
But, I knew while the money was there, he was generous and was crazy about me... It would drive me nuts being with him and interacting with his friends... My standard here is that I won’t deal with any man who so much as stresses me mentally especially as I am a black woman... I won’t take nonsense.
My Point is : What do you compromise on that you do? It is a long road being steadfast to your standard... But it has been worth it for me.
Do not use anyone’s standard... Create your own and work on keeping it... Men will despise you for it... But respect you all the same.... It is a weird placed to be.
7.) What type of events do you attend. When you attend events, go out etc... What do you do? How do you approach these events? Do you wing it? Do you plan it? Are you fearless and confident or shy or just pleasant enough to exchange pleasantries alone? What vibe do you give off?
How do you dress? Different styles can come across different ways... Some ooze Sexy, some ooze elegance with a hint of sexy, some basic, some regular, some say just another event person
8.) Closer to Major cities : what part of that do you live? Even if you are not in the center of things... Where do you go when you go out? How often to do go to wealthy areas, who do you interact with there?
There is a plethora of questions who have to ask yourself.
With Covid I have met people (but then, I work for myself and have more freedom to move around and also take mini vacation in other cities) And I already have a network... So, I have a leg up -
But, I know girls here and people are also still meeting people.
What is stopping you? What avenues and methods have you tried? Have you thought outside the box?
Hopeless? No... Wrong direction... As you fail you learn things that dont work so that should make you hopeful.
Also, I am a big beliver in manifestation and law of attraction. Feeling hopless will only make things more hopless...It will attract more faliure...
Find ways to think more positively, ways to turn negative things into potentially positive things... In this case you do not have to be rational... Imagine everything negative happening has a positive...
e.g : A man cancelled on you = It wasn’t meant to be... It might have turned into a terrible situation for you... Thank God or the universe for saving you from whatever it is you arent aware of.
eg : Covid happening : Time to make more money, invest. Brush yourself up, level up some more, learn new ways to meet this men and become more resilient so you come out fire when, the world isnt tupsy turvy
e.g : Getting older: Perfect, the more sure and certain you become in yourself, the more you actually find out what makes you stand apart, the more you find out who you are and realize that whatever amount a man was going to give you last year, you’ve outgrown it with age, maturity, acheivements etc.
You get the gist.... NEVER FEEL HOPELESS
You can feel sad... But not hopeless... Dust yourself up and try again...
Maybe one day i will take time out to share some of my own short comings and faliures... Cause i think we share the successes much more; that people think there aren’t mistakes and faliures and short comings... I have had them, and I continue to work and fix them.
The only thing is after my introspection... and brow beating myself and figuring it out...i don’t like to dwell on the faliures... I put my self to work updating myself. Besides I think sharing more good news brings more good news and vibes... But, there isn’t anyone that can claim to not have had obstacles and faliures.
Finally: My sister beleives everyone has a destiny... But everyone is also capable of changing theirs...
With regards to your question... About certain type of girls ...
The Answer is NO...
Some people might find it harder, or lack the resources and know how
But trying, pushing ones self, acquiring knowlegde and doing whatever it takes (of course within reason and comfines of morality ) Is what makes the difference.
As i write... I know women who took their entire savings to go to ST Barts for New Year... (Would I? NO) But some would... My point is.
You will go as far as you are capable of seeing yourself go.
So if you want a change in your pattern... You have to break the wheel... Try something new you haven’t tried yet... And a new approach.
Question for you: “Gain an in?” Into what circle do you want an in? What type of man
#hypergamy, #datingtips #sugardatingtips #sugardatingadvice #levelup #levelupadvice #sugardatingtip #sugardating
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i wanna hide the truth, i wanna shelter you
a love letter to luxor’s zander driskell
I want to start off with a disclaimer that there’s a bunch more pre-Luxor content on this one compared to the girls’, but with Zander it felt extremely important to explore that aspect. There’s a note on the section where I’m finally playing him in the roleplay due to that, but anything before that point is before I started playing him in the group. Anyway, I’m proud to present a 3 hour Zander playlist, come help me judge him for the amount of references to his dad and Ches throughout this entire playlist.
Yet again I’d like to thank Lex for help throughout this process, and warn everyone that the usual Zander trigger warnings are all over this playlist (mental health, violence, abuse / child abuse, etc etc). Anything additional is noted on the sections.
‘cause i had a fire, passion and desire. now all i require are circuits and wires | pre-luxor:
zander before attending luxor
additional tws: potential self harm (breathe me)
iRobot (Jon Bellion) [ I was a human, before you killed me and ripped my heart out. ] // Breathe Me - Acoustic (Jonathan Roy) [ I think that I might break and lost myself again and I feel so unsafe. ] // Tell Me Why (Taylor Swift) [ Why do you have to make me feel small so you can feel whole inside? Why do you have to put down my dreams so you're the only thing on my mind? ] // Weight Of Living, Pt. II (Bastille) [ All that you desired when you were a child was to be old. Now that you are here, suddenly you fear you've lost control. ]
happiness is beautiful to see, won't you box it up for me? | sophomore year:
zander’s sophomore year at luxor, and the introduction to one ches elswood.
additional tws: bleed out can be extremely uncomfortable to listen to with the whole, bleeding out theme. please skip that song if you feel you need to
Cop Car (Keith Urban) [ You were thinking that running for it would make a good story; I was thinking you were crazy as hell. ] // Don't Trust Me (Phillip Phillips) [ So when I say I'm okay, don't trust me. ] // Burn Out (Imagine Dragons) [ Oh, give me strength, and give me peace. Does anyone out there want to hear me? ] // Crawling (Linkin Park) [ This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending. Controlling, I can't seem. ] // Bleed Out (Blue October) [ Will I bleed out? I gave it all, but you can't stop taking from me. And way down, I know you know where to cut me with your eyes closed. ] // Don't Sing the Blues (Bohnes) [ I was ridiculous, young Icarus. I flew too close to the sun. ]
do you remember all the plans we made? | helena:
a section dedicated to zander’s relationship with helena
additional tws: sex (carry your throne), alcohol (tonight I wanna cry)
Carry Your Throne (Jon Bellion) [ If you're lost in this darkness I'll carry your throne. No, I won't let it swallow you whole. ] // Snake Eyes (Mumford & Sons) [ It's in the eyes. I can tell, you will always be danger. ] // Halfway Gone (Lifehouse) [ You were always hard to hold, so letting go ain't easy. I'm hanging on but growing cold. ] // The Promise (Andy Black) [ Tell me what ever happened to the love we gave, the promise that we both betrayed. ] // Tonight I Wanna Cry (Keith Urban) [ And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control, but I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain. To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain from my eyes, tonight I want to cry. ]
i say one day the valley is gonna swallow me whole, i feel like a photo that's been overexposed | junior year (‘18-‘19):
junior year of high school, fairly self explanatory
additional tws: smoking (antisocial)
Flaws (Bastille) [ You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve and I have always buried them deep beneath the ground. Dig them up. Let's finish what we've started. ] // Battle Cry (Imagine Dragons) [ Just one more time before I go, I'll let you know that all this time I've been afraid, wouldn't let it show. Nobody can save me now, no. ] // 12 Rounds (Bohnes) [ I'm coming home, I've got some things to say. My gloves are on and my shoes are almost laced. ] // Novocaine (Fall Out Boy) [ Don’t mind me, I’m just the son of a gun. So don’t stop, don't stop 'till your heart goes numb. Now I’m just numb, I don’t feel a thing for you. ] // Machine (Imagine Dragons) [ 'Cause I've been wondering when you gonna see I'm not for sale. I've been questioning when you gonna see I'm not a part of your machine. ] // Antisocial (Ed Sheeran feat. Travis Scott) [ So antisocial, but I don't care. Don't give a damn, I'm gonna smoke here. ] // Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea (Fall Out Boy) [ Seems like the whole damn world went and lost its mind and all my childhood heroes have fallen off or died. ] // Never Going Back (The Score) [ I'm never gonna follow just because they say so. ]
consign me not to darkness | summer 2019:
the summer after the merge, where zander is stuck at home working for lance
additional tws: alcohol (if you’re going through hell)
Two Evils (Bastille) [ I'm the lesser of two evils or am I tricking myself nice? ] // Man or a Monster (Sam Tinnesz feat. Zayde Wølf) [ When you look at yourself, are you a man or a monster? ] // DNA (Lia Marie Johnson) [ Are the pieces of you in the pieces of me? I'm just so scared you're who I'll be. When I erupt just like you do, they look at me like I look at you. ] // Broken Crown (Mumford & Sons) [ So crawl on my belly 'til the sun goes down I'll never wear your broken crown. I can take the road and I can fuck it all away, but in this twilight, our choices seal our fate. ] // If You're Going Through Hell {Before The Devil Even Knows} (Rodney Atkins) [ I've been deep down in that darkness, I've been down to my last match. Felt a hundred different demons breathin' fire down my back. ] // Mud On the Tires (Brad Paisley) [ 'Cause it's a good night to be out there soakin' up the moonlight. ] // Pray For You (Jaron And The Long Road To Love) [ I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill, I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to. ]
but all the scars they prove that i fought my way through so, i always keep 'em showing | senior year of hs (‘19-‘20)
finally, the point in the timeline where zander is actually getting roleplayed by me. includes summer camp fun too
The Silence (Bastille) [ Tell me a piece of your history that you've never said out loud. Pull the rug beneath my feet, and shake me to the ground. ] // Stand Up (The Cab) [ Yeah, all of my demons are kicking and screaming but I'll never leave them behind. Yeah, maybe I'm crazy but don't try to save me, 'cause I've never felt so alive. ] // Only One (The Score) [ Tell me how it feels to know I'm not a puppet under control. I cut the strings a long time ago. ]
running from the devil, but the devil takes hold | fall & winter 2020:
a new school year, increased disdain for his father, a certain set of posters, and the start of realizing there may be something wrong with him.
Gold (Imagine Dragons) [ But now you can't tell the false from the real. Who can you trust? When everything you touch turns to gold. ] // Just Like You (Three Days Grace) [ You thought you were standing beside me, you were only in my way. You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you. ] // Bad Blood (Bastille) [ All this bad blood here, won't you let it dry? It's been cold for years, won't you let it lie? ] // Middle Finger (Bohnes) [ But I refuse to let you make me feel like I can't fly. Not only will I soar again, I'll own the fucking sky. ] // American Beauty/American Psycho (Fall Out Boy) [ You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out, and you can kill me, kill me or let God sort 'em out. ] // Homecoming King (Andy Black) [ You're standing there with the homecoming king; turn the silver spoon into a diamond ring. Can he make you disappear without anyone noticing? Yeah, fuck the homecoming king ] // Monster (Imagine Dragons) [ I'm only a man with a candle to guide me, I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me. A monster, a monster, I've turned into a monster. ] // Animal I Have Become (Three Days Grace) [ Somebody help me through this nightmare I can't control myself. Somebody wake me from this nightmare, I can't escape this hell. ] // Gallows (The Score feat. Jamie N Commons) [ Been turning my back on the sun these days, trying to walk the line but I'm losing my way. ]
i'm sifting through the sand, looking for pieces of broken hourglass trying to get it all back but it back together | spring 2021:
continuing to take a good look at his mental health, a desire to improve, and an appreciation for his support circle.
additional tws: sex/masturbation mention (All Time Low)
All Time Low (Jon Bellion) [ I've been trying to fix my pride but that shit's broken, that shit's broken. ] // Bishops Knife Trick (Fall Out Boy) [ These are the last blues we're ever gonna have, let's see how deep we get. The glow of the cities below lead us back to the places that we never should have left. ] // Demons (Imagine Dragons) [ They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate; it's woven in my soul, I need to let you go. Your eyes, they shine so bright, I wanna save that light, I can't escape this now, unless you show me how. ] // I'll Be Good (Jaymes Young) [ I never meant to start a fire, I never meant to make you bleed. I'll be a better man today. ] // The Anchor (Bastille) [ You were the light that is blinding me. You're the anchor that I tie to my brain. 'Cause when it feels when I'm lost at sea, you're the song that I sing again and again. ] // Ungrateful Eyes (Jon Bellion) [ Still lost, still feel depressed like I'm try to find a way in. I'm trying to figure this out, but my God I'm so human. And so I turned to my sister and smiled and asked this question, “all we wanna know is where the stars came from, but do we ever stop to watch them shine?” ] // Rise Up (Imagine Dragons) [ The darkness right in front of me, oh, it's calling out, and I won't walk away. ] // Bless The Broken Road (Rascal Flatts) [ Every long lost dream led me to where you are, others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars, pointing me on my way into your loving arms. This much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you. ]
#musing ( playlists )#no chains won't hold me down ( musings )#violence tw#Smoking tw#alcohol tw#abuse tw#child abuse tw#self harm tw#blood tw#stabbing tw#bc implied
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TRANSGENDERISM AND GENDER DYSPHORIA
This is something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while and I hope, despite your thoughts and opinions, you’ll hear me out.
I can’t accept transgenderism. There are way too many risks that I think no one should be shouldering in a bid to change a perfectly good body. I don’t think it’s right, I don’t think it’s natural, and I wish gender counselors would stop selling it as the answer to every case of gender dysphoria. Please look at the stats, 75-90 percent of people grow out of gender dysphoria don’t let anyone let you think it’s worse then it really is.
When I’ve tried to explain my side of things I’ll often be accused of not understanding what it’s like to be confused about your gender, not feeling right in your body. While I’m still too embarrassed to admit it while talking to someone face to face, I’ve always wanted to scream “I do! I understand and I went through gender dysphoria and simply didn’t tell anyone because, at the time, I didn’t realize it was a thing! I thought I was abnormal, literally the only one feeling that way, and just kept it to myself!” Which is not healthy btw. Over the years I’ve gotten the chance to speak with trans people, those thinking of transitioning, transitioned, and detransitioned, and I have to say the LGBT community sells it as a lot more spectacular then it really is.
There are such a high count of regrets in the trans community yet they’re written off as “rare cases” and “lies told by bigots”?! Dude, there are websites and charities run by ditransitioned men and women operating to combat gender dysphoria as it should be combated yet no one ever reports on them.
For me, my gender dysphoria stemmed from bullying and what I like to call the “bubbles”. I was 11 or 12 and had this idea of what a woman should be, and what a man should be. I, who didn’t meet the criteria of being a woman, hated myself. I felt awkward and out of place in my body. I always wore trousers though I loved skirts but thought I looked ugly in them, and slacked my shirts so they’d be baggy on me. When I learned such a thing as sex change was possible, I clearly remember thinking “When I get older I’m going to be a man. When I’m a man everything will make sense, I’ll feel better”
I spent years wondering and planning, second guessing myself and who I was. One day it hit me, there is no solid, unbreakabke list of what a man is and what a woman is. There are just people with unique personalities. I realized I didn’t want to be a man, I wanted the freedom I believed came with being a man as opposed to my feminine gender that “requires” me to be perfect and pretty all the time.
Somehow I came across a detrasitioned woman online who really helped me and even pointed out to me something I hadn’t noticed. The online gender counseling group I was on didn’t help us with our problems. It was, “Oh you don’t feel comfortable in your body? Here’s a link to sex change doctors. Good luck.” They didn’t address the fact some people’s dysphoria stemmed from some sort of abuse, or their dysphoria was causing them to suffer from eating disorders, some anxiety, and others depression. It might have not been the same for everyone (you can’t always trust the internet), but that group made it seem like all our problems will be solved if we changed genders and I realized that was some pretty toxic logic right there.
I’m unhappy because I don’t like how I look? Then why would drastically changing the outside bring me some sort of satisfaction? When did love yourself and your perfect imperfections turn into you’re in the wrong body change it? There wasn’t a problem with my body, but with my mind and heart. Everyone is born perfect, and everyone will (at multiple points in their life) go through some mental problems, whether it comes from anxiety, anger, sadness, insecurities etc. it’s normal and you can work through it. The need to change my gender was born from feelings of inadequacy with myself. Cruel people in my life put pressure on me, then I piled a few more weights on and dragged them around like a ball and chain. That’s something I’ve thankfully grown out of. It’s different for all of us. I didn’t fully escape my gender dysphoria till I was like 17 and now I’m 20 and hella happy with who I am.
Gender dysphoria is way more common than you think. Just because people around you don’t talk about it doesn’t mean they haven’t gone through it or are still going through it. My point is, appreciate and respect your body, even when no one else does, even what it feels like there’s nothing to appreciate. Remember, you only feel that, and feelings can change. You can change them.
From day one you were perfect, you are still perfect, no matter how you feel or what people tell you, you will never stop being perfect.
#gender dysphoria#traditional gender roles#transgenderism#you are enough#you are perfect#you are beautiful#distransition#tradfem#pro terf#terf safe#anti transgender
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Devoted 2
part 6
Overall warning/s: kinkier smut (eg. voyeurism, exhibition, etc.) character death, dark themes
TRIGGER WARNING: dubious consent & possible drug use
Just how devoted is Jaehyun to you?
prev: Part 5
wc: 9.4k
“So you’re trying to get pregnant, Ms. [L/N]?” Dr. Ahn asks after pleasantries, going through your chart as she sits beside you. She’s been your gynecologist since you were a teenager; she was nice and funny, kept you comfortable throughout your appointments, she spoke to you like a wise friend instead of a condescending adult.
“Yes. My fiance and I would like to have kids soon.” You fold your hands over your lap after smoothing out your gownie.
“Oh, congratulations! Well, according to your cycle, you’ll be ovulating in a week. If you had unprotected sex recently, you can get pregnant since sperm can live in the vagina for up to 5 days.”
“This early? I thought it would take months.”
Dr. Ahn shrugs her shoulders, “Yes, but you seem to have a very active sex life, Ms. [L/N]. If you think it’s too early for you to get pregnant, I suggest you switch to pills or use a condom; or just abstain from sex for a few days just to let your body adjust to the sudden change, but you’ll have a higher chance of getting pregnant with than an IUD. I can prescribe some pills later after we get this Mirena out - if you still want to remove it.”
“Oh...” You hesitated, “Is it better to have it taken out when we’re trying for a baby immediately?”
She nods, “If you’re worried about getting pregnant before the big day and having a swollen belly, I’d suggest we keep the IUD in. But it’s all up to you, Ms. [L/N].”
You were right about your colleagues throwing you a farewell party; giggling a bit as you finish your small speech of gratitude with a toast to top off the night. Your boss coordinated everything - much to your surprise. He always seemed strict during work hours; drowning in paperwork and phone calls when he’s not overseeing projects.
“[Y/N], you’ve made so many projects under the company, I’d like to have them compiled under one major portfolio for you. Consider it a token of appreciation from us.” Your boss raised his glass of champagne at you.
“Oh, sir, you don’t have to.”
“Too late, dear, it’s already in production and has been paid for. We’ll have it delivered to you.”
“Thank you, sir. But we might be moving soon, I’ll send the new address once we move.”
“Alright. Congratulations again, [Y/N].”
He moves away from you, and you’re willing to bet he’s slowly making his way back into his own office because he’s a serial workaholic, more than Sicheng and Jaehyun combined.
Kyungwon had hooked her arm around yours by the time your (former) boss had left and she nuzzles the side of your head, “I miss you already!”
“Kyung, we’re still working on a project together.”
She whines, making it obvious she’s drank more than she could handle, “Your last project! After that, I’ll be all alone until you steal me away.”
You hush her, although you’re laughing at her words, “Shh, okay, no one knows I’m starting my own company; let alone taking you away. I have to wait until I actually start it before I can hire you.”
Kyungwon nuzzles the side of your head while clinking your glass at the same time, “‘till the day comes!”
She murmurs about needing help to the ladies’ room and you sling her arm around you to haul to the bathroom. When she’s in her cubicle, you enter the adjacent one to take care of your own business.
“It’s sad that [Y/N] is leaving.” You hear a female coworker say after the distinct sound of the door swinging open and close.
This makes you blush; flattered by their sentiments on your resignation.
“I know! Jeongin from the accounting said the other guys will be re-hired now that she’s gone.”
This, however, makes your brows arch in confusion.
“Ugh, they shouldn’t be re-hired. They’re sleazy and misogynists!” Another woman grumbles, “Maybe if I had a powerful fiance like [Y/N], then maybe every other sexual predator in this company gets booted.”
You swing the cubicle door open and your co-workers jumped at the sudden action. They’re blushing, hands frozen on their faces as they were trying to powder themselves. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop! But… what are you guys talking about?”
Your co-workers, Jihyo and Nayoung, share a look with one another. Jihyo cocks her head at you, “Wait, didn’t you request Choi Jinho and the others to be transferred for being… inappropriate?”
“Choi Jinho?” You repeat. You remember him; he left last year all of a sudden. He was very affectionate and quite flirty, he liked to throw his arms around everyone - including you. “No. I was shocked when he left. He was one of the most sought after architects in the company.”
Nayoung scoffed, “Yeah, but he’s a serial molester. Rumor has it that it was your fiance that had him pulled out of the company.”
You blinked at them; it was highly possible that it was Jaehyun’s doing, but how did he even know? You never talked about Jinho at all to him. “N-no… I don’t know anything about that.”
“Well,” Jihyo shrugs her shoulders, “They’re all coming back since you’re leaving. Whether or not your fiance had anything to do about it, it sounds awfully coincidental, doesn’t it?”
It does sound coincidental, but given Jaehyun’s power and personality, he probably did do something about the sudden resignations and transfers of your former male co-workers.
“Regardless, we really are going to miss you, [Y/N]. Us women in the company felt a lot safer when you started working here, I just wish our boss wouldn’t re-hire those jerks.” Nayoung offers you a sad smile before stuffing her cushion back into her purse.
“Fear not!” Kyungwon kicks the cubicle door she was in open, startling all three of you, “[Y/N] can save us all!”
She stumbles forward and you worriedly called out her name while stepping forward to help support her.
“Kyungwon really has low tolerance, huh?” Nayoung giggles, taking Kyungwon’s other hand and draping it around her shoulders to help you with her weight.
“She’s also right, I suppose.” You paused, “Give me… a month or two. I’m leaving the company to start my own and I’m aiming it to be a predominantly female company. I’d hire all of you in a heartbeat if you’d want to join me.”
Jihyo gasps and claps her hands, “Really? [Y/N], that’s amazing! Of course we’d love to! I’m willing to bet everything is going back the same way it was before you entered the company now that you’re leaving. Haven’t you realized that the guys don’t talk to you unless it’s work-related?”
You did realize this, but you always excused it because Jaehyun often picked you up from work and accompanied you during functions or parties. You had his picture on your desk; anyone could tell you were off the market and that’s the reason why your male co-workers didn’t bother with you like they did with your other female colleagues.
“Now that you mention it…” You trailed off, casting your eyes downwards.
“You’re so lucky that you have someone who constantly looks out for you.” Jihyo sighs, “My ex broke up with me because he thought I was cheating on him, when really the guy kept messaging me even though he knew I was taken.”
If they only knew the real reason behind why Jaehyun did those. You gave her a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry about that, Jihyo.”
“Don’t apologize, [Y/N]. It’s okay, if he can’t even trust me with guys that I only see as friends or colleagues, then he doesn’t deserve me. What’s the point of a relationship without trust, right?”
Her words pricked your heart for some reason, but you shrugged and nodded halfheartedly.
Nayoung offers to take Kyungwon home, after she heaves the alcohol out of her stomach and sobers up with a few glasses of water, and Jihyo volunteers to help her. They accompany you to where Mr. Kyung was already waiting with your boxed items already in the backseat and bid you farewell.
When you get home, you dropped your stuff at your home office and sat on the couch; too drained and tipsy to make it all the way to the bedroom. You don’t feel good - not in the sense you want to vomit after drinking. It was what Jihyo and Nayoung talked about in the bathroom. Did Jaehyun have control of your surroundings even at work? How did he even know? You had so many questions and it only made your head ache.
Staring at the 77” LG OLED TV, you frown at your reflection. Your mind is taking you back to three years ago: when Jaehyun had made it seemed you had a stalker. The fear is still fresh in your heart and it made the little hairs on your arms rise up. As if the world was playing a cruel joke on you, your phone rings and drained the color from your face. But instead of an unknown number, it was Yuta’s.
Calming yourself down, you pick up his call. “Hello?”
“[Y/N], I-I’m sorry, but you know how I invited Sicheng and Jaehyun out for some drinks?”
“...Yeah? Is something wrong? What happened?”
Yuta nervously chuckles, “Nothing… particularly bad. They’re just… really drunk and I was planning to book them each a suite at the hotel I’m staying at, but Jaehyun is adamant about going home to you.”
This alarms you; Jaehyun probably has one of the highest alcohol tolerance among the people you know. He could down beer and soju one after the other and still end up being a little goofy - but never shitfaced wasted.
“Oh my god, okay, uhm… I’ll text you our address.”
“Okay, thanks, [Y/N]. Don’t worry, I’m not driving. We’ll call for a cab.”
It was barely 11PM when you hung up on Yuta and it was just odd that Jaehyun would get that drunk so early in the night. Maybe they had more hard liquor than the usual mix he goes for.
An hour later, there’s a knock on the door and you’re sprinting towards it. Before you open it, you could hear Jaehyun arguing in slurred words that he doesn’t want to wake you up and he could open it with his house keys. Opening the door wide, you’re greeted by Yuta supporting both Jaehyun and Sicheng on either shoulder with a tired, apologetic look on his face.
When Jaehyun sees you, his face brightens up immediately. “Baby!”
“H-hey. You had fun, babe?” You stifle your laughter as he lunges forward and wraps his arms around you, hugging your figure as tight as he can. Turning to Yuta, you sigh “Yuta, I think you and Sicheng should stay the night. We have a guest room with twin beds for both of you and I’m sure I can find some clothes for both of you to wear.”
“Oh, maybe Sicheng, but I can still go home.”
“Please, I insist. It’s late and you look just as hammered as these two.”
Yuta finally relents and you usher them inside. Jaehyun slumps down on an armchair while Yuta sits Sicheng down on the couch and takes the space beside him afterwards.
You bring them bottled water; opening it for Jaehyun while Yuta does it for Sicheng. “What did you guys drink and how much of it did it take for Jaehyun to be even this wasted?”
The question was directed to Yuta, who was obviously more sober than the two, but Jaehyun answers anyways in a giddy voice, “The whole bar! Sans wine because there are hundreds of those there…. Oh, babe, I had the best scotch there.”
You hum, bringing the bottle up to his lips so he could drink water.
In your peripheral vision, you catch Yuta fondly watching both of you. “Must be nice to have someone waiting at home for you; ready to take care of you when you need them, huh?” He comments.
“Are you retiring early from the bachelor life? Your bachelor pad isn’t even complete yet.” You tease, running your fingers through Jaehyun’s hair to push it back from his face and he gives you a sleepy, childish grin.
“No, I’m gonna enjoy it a little longer. But I can’t be a bachelor forever, [Y/N].”
You excuse yourself to get clothes for them and brought back some shorts and shirts Jaehyun doesn’t use often. You direct them to the guest room where Yuta hauls Sicheng to the bed and promises to help him change after the latter whined about being too lazy. You wish them a good night and made your way back to Jaehyun.
As you close the door, you gasp to see Jaehyun already beside you, leaning his weight against the adjacent wall. “Babe! Oh my god, come on let’s get you to bed.”
“Let’s get you to bed.” He repeats with a chuckle, nose scrunching at you.
You warily eyed him, you’ve never seen him in this kind of state before - and that’s saying something. There was one time you both endlessly drank until you (just you) were throwing up and even then, Jaehyun was still his right state of mind to take care of you.
He holds your hand and lets you lead him to the bedroom, “You’re pretty.”
“I’m pretty?” You stop in your tracks, just a little past the doorway and turn at him with an incredulous expression. “The last time you called me pretty was seven years ago; when we first started dating.”
“I stopped calling you pretty?”
“No, you just used other adjectives.”
“Like?”
You feel your cheeks heat up, “Like beautiful, gorgeous, sexy… and the likes.”
Jaehyun cocks his head and grins, “You’re all of that.”
“Thank you, Jaehyun. Now let’s get you-” He cuts you off with a kiss, bringing his hands on your hips to pull you towards him. You entertain it for a moment, slinging your arms around him and even tiptoeing to push yourself up. But in the back of your mind, you remember the conversation with your former colleagues and you’re pulling away from him.
Jaehyun doesn’t get the hint and continues to press his lips on your skin, “I love you so much, [Y/N]. I’ve wanted you for so, so, so long and now you’re here; a few months away from being my wife.”
“I love you, too, Jae,” You try to stop him but he holds you with a firm grasp, “I think we should get to bed now.”
He hums in approval, bringing his lips back over yours all of a sudden; catching you off guard when he forces his tongue into your mouth and you could taste the variety of alcohol he’s consumed. He’s nudging you back until you’re by the bed and he pushes you down onto it.
“Jaehyun, wait,” Your eyes fall to the unclosed door, worried that your sudden guests would hear or need something and stumble into a salacious scene. You hate how that turns you on; how the idea of someone walking into you and Jaehyun fucking gets you wet from the get go. But you’re not keen on doing anything tonight; not when he’s too drunk and especially not after what the girls told you. “I’m not in the mood.”
Your words fell on deaf ears as Jaehyun hooks his fingers on the band of your pajama bottoms and underwear that you changed into while waiting for them and yanked them both off your legs. You try to shut your legs, but Jaehyun just wrenches them apart and dives face first into your pussy.
A gasp leaves you, your back arching off the bed and your hand shooting to grab hold of his hair. “Jae, please- wait a minute, I-”
He directs his attention to your clit; engorged and throbbing to be touched, sending pleasurable waves coursing through your veins with every lick and suck Jaehyun does.
Moments later, you feel him slip two fingers into you without any forewarning.
“You’re always so wet for me.” He grumbles, giving you a few more drawn out pumps from his fingers and kitten licks on your clit before standing to unbuckle his belt.
You take this as an opportunity to move away from him, scooting up the bed and sitting up. “Jaehyun, can you just wait for one-oh!”
He chuckles at you, grabbing onto your ankles and pulling you back near him; hovering above your frame with a mischievous smile. “Hi.”
“Hi…”
He just smiles at you; a lazy, mellow grin on his puffy face.
“Are you okay?” You whisper, touching his arms and running your hands over them in a soothing manner.
He nods, “I’m just happy.”
“I can see that.” You giggle for a second, eyes darting from his upturned lips to the hot, hard cock resting on your thigh, before your face falls. He’s acting really weird. “We should really go to sleep, Jaehyun.”
“But I’m horny.” He pushes your shirt up to expose your bare chest to him, “And you’re so hot. I can only get off on you.”
You bite down on your lower lip when his hands grab each of your breasts and gave each a good squeeze, thumbs stimulating your nipples until they were hard peaks. You look up at him, watching his eyes glint with lust at the sight in front of him. He looked so different… he doesn’t seem like himself - at least his persona of this age. It was like he was back in his early twenties, trying to get into your pants for the third time.
Jaehyun reaches over his head to remove his shirt, tossing it aside as fast as he could. He’s sweating for some reason, although the entire apartment is air-conditioned. His muscles are tensed when you hold his arms.
“Jae, are you okay?”
“Never better.” He grits out, capturing your lips into an open kiss.
When he pulls you closer, you could feel his heart beating drumming onto your chest. You pull away, “Jaehyun, your pulse is going insane.”
“Of course, it is.” He dismisses, pushing your legs apart. “It’s because of you.”
Feeling dismissed, you sigh, “Okay, Jaehyun, just one round - ah!”
You get cut off, loudly moaning when he surges forward and his cock pierces into you with minimal difficulty.
You woke up sore and aching; especially lower half. Last night, you came about five times after 3 rounds one after the other. Jaehyun was insatiable; unrelenting to your soft pleas for even a quick break. He just… wasn’t himself - at all.
With much struggle, you sit up the bed and pull up the sheets to your naked body. The clock on the nightstand reads it’s about 7AM which means you’ve been asleep for a measly 3 hours. You ought to take a shower; you slept drenched in sweat and not to mention both yours and Jaehyun’s cum dried up and crusty all over your nether regions.
A pained moan leaves you once you tried to get up; you hiss, “Damn, am I getting old?”
Holding the sheets to your body, you trudge to the bathroom but the door suddenly opens and Jaehyun steps out, paler than usual.
“Jaehyun?”
He jumps a little at your voice and he stares at you, wide eyed. He releases a sigh, eyes furrowed in the middle of his forehead. Before you could ask what’s wrong, he takes a step forward and pulls you into a tight hug.
“[Y/N], I’m so sorry.” Jaehyun mumbles into the crook of your neck, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“What?”
He kneels in front of you, taking one of your hands into his and kissing your fingers repeatedly. “I’m sorry, baby, I really am. I - it was like I had no control of myself. I’m a monster.”
You hunched down and cup his face, “Jaehyun, stop, what are you talking about?”
“You,” He almost snaps, “You didn’t want to have sex last night, but I insisted. I forced myself on you; I-”
“Jaehyun, it’s okay.”
“That’s not okay, [Y/N].” He cuts you off, “You said ‘no’ and I ignored it. I’m a monster, [Y/N], I practically ra-”
You grabbed his shoulders, “Don’t even say it! I wasn’t in the mood in the beginning, sure, but I still enjoyed myself… you should know, I came a lot.”
“But,” He tries to argue, but you hushed him.
“You know I wouldn’t go down without a fight; if I really didn’t want to, I would have made it very clear.”
“But,” Jaehyun looks at you with doubt, prompting you to give him a loving kiss on the lips. “If you had resisted… I think it would have been even worse.”
You pull away at his words, trying to search for an explanation in his face, but he has his eyes looking down to his lap. Swallowing hard, you kiss his cheek, “Monsters don’t know what’s good and bad; they don’t apologize for what they’ve done. You have, though, you know what’s right and wrong. I’m not mad or disgusted by you, Jae, I still love you.”
He finally looks at you, “I don’t deserve you, but I love you, too.”
Pulling you into a hug, he kisses your shoulder over and over again while you soothe his back with your hands.
“Although,” You trail off, leaning back on your legs, “Last night… it felt like you weren’t even here. Y-you were completely different. What were you drinking last night?”
Jaehyun sighs, “Too much of everything… I’ll ask the guys if they remember what we had so I can avoid it next time. They should be hungry now if they’re awake. I’ll go make breakfast.”
���Okay, I’m gonna take a quick shower.”
He leaves you to bathe after sharing another kiss and you wait until he’s gone before you lumber into the bathroom and stepped into the shower.
As warm water cascades down your body, you let out a sigh of relief as you feel your muscles relax under the steam. You still had to question Jaehyun about what Jihyo and Nayoung had told you, but it had to wait until your guests leave.
You’re in and out of the shower in 10 minutes, putting on proper clothing after drying off and applying some moisturizer. You tame your hair down until you’re decent enough to present yourself in front of Sicheng and Yuta and you walk out to the dining room where Sicheng exaggeratedly calls for you.
“Jiejie!” He cries, “I wanted to eat your cooking for breakfast.”
“Maybe next time?” You sympathize, glancing at Yuta as he looks through framed pictures on the shelves with a steaming cup in hand. “Are you guys alright? I hope the hangovers aren’t too bad.”
Yuta shrugs at you, “Bearable. I don’t know about these two, they were hit the hardest.” He gestures to them with his mug before taking a long sip.
“Did we drink anything you didn’t?” Jaehyun calls out from the kitchen, pausing from his cooking to ask him. “Because I’m not humble bragging or anything, but I have a very high alcohol tolerance - higher than Sicheng.”
The latter cradles his head and sighs, “I don’t even want to contest to that.”
“Hmm…” Yuta gives it a thought, approaching the table and sitting beside Sicheng. “The rum one, perhaps? I don’t like coconut that much so I didn’t even try it.”
You made yourself a cup of coffee, frowning at what Yuta had said because you’re certain that Jaehyun had downed that in a minute. Peeking at him, with the way his brows furrowed and arms crossed while watching the soup simmer, told you that he did remember the drink. You walk to him and lean your head on his shoulder, “Was it good at least?”
“Yeah, it was.” He grumbles, stirring the dried pollack soup he makes for anyone with a hangover (usually you.)
“There had to be something in it.” Sicheng pounds on the table like it was a gavel.
Yuta sits back on his seat, “Like drugs?”
“It’s the only possible reason why Jaehyun and I were so out of it; I mean, if it were only me, then it wouldn’t raise suspicion, but the fact Jaehyun…”
“We should take drug tests, Cheng, and if we come out positive; then we’ll sue the bar.” Jaehyun turns the stove off and you help him serve the soup to them. After giving a hefty portion each to the boys, you and Jaehyun serve yourselves and sit across them.
Sicheng moans at the first spoonful of soup, “I still think [Y/N]’s version is better.”
You let out a little laugh while Jaehyun scowls at him, “We use the same recipe.”
But the Chinese national just rolls his eyes and continues to eat, Yuta on the other hand, nods his head as he chews. “Wow, is there anything you can’t do?”
“He’s annoying, isn’t he?” You teased, “I used to think he was too perfect for me.”
Jaehyun nudges your leg with his, shooting you playful disapproving look.
“No flaws at all?” Yuta wonders out loud.
“Of course, I have flaws.” He defends, “Everyone does. Don’t you?”
“Oh!” Yuta dramatically exclaims, “Ask all my exes.”
Everyone chuckles at him - even Jaehyun, to your surprise; it looks like he isn’t as apprehensive towards Yuta anymore. Maybe the night out allowed them to get closer, open up a bit more about each other rather than being business associates. You reach under the table to squeeze his thigh, making him glance at you, and you simpered at him.
He returns it with his hand covering your own to hold it momentarily before both of you resume eating and entertain your guests with stories from the night before.
Yuta and Sicheng don’t extend their stay any longer and began preparing to head back to their respective homes after breakfast, dressing themselves back in their soiled clothing from the night before and were gracious enough to throw the clothes they borrowed into the laundry themselves.
“Thank you for your hospitality, Jaehyun,” Yuta sighs, nodding at him and then at you, “[Y/N].”
“Don’t mention it.” You lean onto Jaehyun as he lays his arm over your shoulders, “It’s been awhile since we had people stay the night.”
“Until next time, then!” Sicheng jokes, tossing his coat over his shoulder.
“A tamer next time; perhaps we’ll tackle their wine collection?” Yuta raises a brow at Jaehyun.
He hums, halfheartedly shrugging, “Until a tamer next time.”
Both of you see them off and once Jaehyun shuts the door, you step away from him and walked away with crossed arms. This doesn’t go unnoticed by him, following after you tentatively. “[Y/N]?”
You spin on your heels and scowled at him, “Did you have my boss fire men at the company?”
He blinks at you, “Yes…?”
“Jaehyun! Why would you do that?”
“Kyungwon said they were inappropriate and disrespectful; not only towards you, but the rest of the women at your work. I had only suggested doing something about it in passing, but she seemed to like the idea.”
You reel back and let your arms fall to your sides, “Kyungwon?”
Jaehyun nodded, “Although, she was a little drunk that time… when we first went out to drink with her and your other colleagues. She was complaining about how one of the men kept trying to touch her. I had to do something, [Y/N], it would be for your sake, too.”
“Oh.” You felt guilty now; you were ready to give him an earful for meddling in your corporate life but now you know the truth, you’re admittedly a little speechless.
“Did Kyungwon tell you? I asked her not to tell you because I’m sure you wouldn’t like it, but-”
“No,” You shake your head, “She didn’t. I overheard it in the bathroom. It seems like they’re rehiring those people now that I’m gone. I’m worried about Kyungwon and the others now; I need to start the company now so I can hire them.”
Jaehyun frowns, “I can hold the rehiring until then, baby. For now, how about I handle on your start-up to make it a little quicker? You just worry about Yuta’s apartment and our new house?”
“Are you sure? You seem pretty busy these days.”
“I have people to handle the paperwork. They’ll need your approval and signatures, but that would be it.”
“Okay.” You bite down on your lip, “Thank you.”
He chuckles, tipping your chin upwards so he could kiss you, “Anything for my everything.”
Your arms slip over his strong built, pushing yourself to hug him and press your cheek on his chest where you could feel his steady heartbeat thumping. You feel his fingers combing through your hair while his other hand rested over the small of your back.
“Is something else bothering you?”
“I just wanted to hug you…” You murmured, “But… I suppose it’s bothering me that I feel so… dependent on you. I don’t even know how different my life would be without you. You solve all my problems with a wave of your hand or snap of your fingers - to be frank,” You abruptly pull away from him with a pout, “You solve it through your wallet.”
He sighs, “[Y/N], you know money isn’t an issue to me or my family. I understand it can be overwhelming and almost impudent to solve all our problems with money, but it’s more efficient that way. My family… your future family has a steady flow of income; enough to sustain our lives and those who need it.”
“Those who need it?”
Jaehyun cocks his head, “We have plenty of charities, and provide sponsorships and scholarships, [Y/N]. The Jungs aren’t that greedy. Each of us donate to our respective charities twice a year.”
“What’s your charity?”
He hesitates, “I regularly donate to a rehabilitation center that deals with people who need psychotherapy that cannot afford it and…”
“And?”
“I also donate to the Golden Acres nursing home.”
You gasp, hands flying to your lips, “Golden Acres? That’s where…”
He nods, “Your mother mentioned about how your grandmother had been there since you were in high school. Don’t you want to visit her?”
“She doesn’t remember me.” You sadly tell him. Your grandmother had early onset Alzheimer’s at the age of 62. Your parents were working so hard to even support everyone in the house that no one could take care of her. By the next year, they had decided to move her into Golden Acres where she could be cared for 24/7. “Or at least she doesn’t remember that I’ve grown; I’m basically a stranger to her.”
“But she was an artist, yes?” Jaehyun’s hands rubs your shoulders, “You got your artistic skills from her.”
“Yeah,” You let yourself smile; when you were younger, your grandmother always encouraged you to draw or paint when she’d watch over you for your parents while they were away. “I miss her, though.”
“Then let’s visit her one day. Invite her to the wedding; whether she remembers you or not.” He kisses your forehead and pulls you back in for a hug. “What do you want to do today?”
You hum, trying to decide until you remembered that it was Sunday. You jump away from him with a gasp, “We were supposed to meet with my parents and Kun today for dinner! I haven’t contacted him at all last week.”
Jaehyun couldn’t help but chuckle at you as you briskly walk back into the bedroom. He saunters after you, crossing his arms and leans against the door frame while he watches you type on your phone. “Did you tell your parents at least?”
You glance up at him, “Yeah, of course I did.”
“So you genuinely forgot the man of the hour?”
You roll your eyes, hitting send after composing a message and picking out Kun’s contact number. “Okay, you know what? My mind has been everywhere the past couple of days; from designing a loft-type bachelor pad to a full sized home - that we haven’t even chose yet - resigning from my job and starting my own to save my female colleagues from pervs; cut me some slack, Jae. I can’t even start thinking about our wedding, although I really, really want to.”
He lightheartedly scoffs, approaching you on your seat at the bed and kneeling in front of you, “Baby, you know I was just teasing you. Don’t think about your company just yet, I’ll take care of that. How about we spend the rest of the morning planning for the wedding together and after lunch, we could browse through the catalogs of the Jung Properties’ real estate.”
“Sometimes I forget that your family is actually in real estate. You guys have too many business branches and different agencies.”
“We’re a conglomerate for a reason.” He gathers your hands into his and kisses your ring, “Soon, we’ll have a design agency under your name and ownership; which in retrospect, should be a smart business move. We have all these lands and properties, subdivisions and condominiums, yet we rely on other companies to build and design them.”
“So it all works out in the end?”
He hums in agreement, standing to his feet. “Well, should I get your laptop for you or do we work on our wedding in your office?”
Considering the fact that you’ll both not end up doing what needs to be done if you were to work on the bed, you chose the latter and he helps you stand up after you grab your phone. He holds your hand and swings them as you make your way to your office; grinning like a child and it’s so contagious that the same grin forms on your face.
In your office, he insists that you sit between his legs as he scoots further into your high back office chair to make room for you. Once comfortable, he rests his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist as you open your iMac.
“You wanted an intimate wedding, yeah?” He kisses your neck, “So around 50 guests or less?”
“Does it sound too little for you?”
“No. What matters to me is that we’re both present with our parents. I don’t mind a civil wedding, either.”
You whined, “Where’s the fun in that?”
His chuckle reverberates onto your back, “I suppose. So at a church? Hotel function room? A beach? The casino?”
“We’re not getting married at the casino.”
“Hey,” He tightens his hold around you for a second, “Lucky 7’s function rooms are quite nice.”
“Doesn’t change my mind on it.” You shrug, “I can’t choose between a garden wedding or a beach wedding; so you choose.”
On the monitor screen, you pull up the pinterest board you’ve compiled everything wedding related and Jaehyun hums in contemplation as you slowly scroll through them. “How about a garden wedding with a beach view?”
You twist around to look at him, “We can do that?”
“I’m sure it’s possible.” He presses his lips on your jaw, “We’ll make it possible.”
“Okay, well if it’s technically a garden wedding, then I think it’s fitting that the theme would be a little casual, but still romantic.” You type the keywords into the search bar and show him what you meant.
“Weddings like these are perfect for spring.” He comments, “Would you like to set a date for when the cherry blossoms have bloomed?”
“It would be nice, but that would mean we’d only have 6 months or so to plan this wedding - and that’s if we make it our priority. We’re both so busy.”
He leans back on the chair and massages your shoulders, “Babe, you’re worrying too much again. Remember, we might be busy; but my mom won’t be. She’ll gladly take care of this as an event planner. She’s been waiting to plan my wedding before I even learned to walk.”
You snort at him, shaking your head in disbelief, but move on with the planning; “Would you like to suggest a color scheme? Don’t you dare fucking say black just because it’s your favorite color.”
He lets out a laugh, ���Gray, then. Something neutral.”
“Garden weddings typically have purples and pinks for color schemes; like pastel shades, or lavender and peaches.”
“I like that,” He interjects, “Peaches or coral.”
You look back at him for a moment, “Alright, then. Let’s pick out some photos and print them out.”
As you save photos you both agreed on and print them out, Jaehyun makes himself a little more comfortable by cuddling you and pulling you flush against him. As you wait for the rest of the photos to print out, you run your hands along his arms, feeling the little hairs on them.
He mumbled something incoherent on your neck, tickling you slightly.
“What was that?”
“I said,” He pulls away a little, but his lips are still brushing against your skin as he speaks, “I can’t wait to see you in a wedding dress.”
Butterflies erupt in your stomach at the image of you in a flowy white dress, hair styled to your liking, walking down the aisle where Jaehyun waited in his own white dress shirt and black pants.
“Do you have any requests on what my dress should look like?”
“Anything would look good on you.” He leans back and forces you to lie back on him, “It could be the sluttiest dress ever or the most matronly piece - I don’t care.”
You shift to face him, cupping his jaw and moving your thumb over his cheek. His own hand mimics your actions, lightly caressing your thigh. There’s a comforting silence that takes over; lulling you closer to each other until your lips are pressed and melding together. There wasn't any urgency or desperation, nor was it hasty and in passing.
He took his time with you, nibbling on your lower lip and steadily bringing the soft flesh between his. The printer made a sound that signaled its’ done it’s job and he pulls away but you hold him steady, whimpering a sound of disapproval that makes him chuckle.
He continues to kiss you, running his tongue along your lower lip to ask for entrance and you grant it. Teasingly, he slips the wet muscle into your mouth and sliding it along your own. He tasted like coffee: a good kind of bitter with a hint of sweetness, the kind you get addicted to.
Your hand falls to his chest and you could feel his pulse with your fingers, beating steadily with calm thumps.
Both of you pulled away for air, resting your foreheads together. He has a ghost of a smile on his lips and you give it a little peck to make it wider.
“I love you.”
You’ve exchanged these words so many times already yet it never lost its meaning. It still sent warmth spreading across your face, made your stomach giddy, and made your heart feel full. “I love you, too.”
Jaehyun leans back down, opting to kiss your cheek while combing his fingers through your hair.
After a few more minutes of basking in each other’s presence in absolute peace, you break off from each other to pin the printed photos onto the corkboard you had hanging in your home office. It was a nice way to spend the rest of the morning before ordering lunch; it felt a little recreational but also exciting. By the time the food Jaehyun had ordered arrive, the board was practically filled with your ideas for the wedding.
You discussed it some more over lunch and he managed to squeeze in a little talk about the honeymoon, chowing down on your meals on the couch.
“Venice? Greece?” He feeds you some of his pork dumplings and you hum at both the savory flavor and his suggestions, “I already know a place in Greece I’d like to take you to.”
“Wherever, Jaehyun,” You roll your eyes, scooting your body closer to him and draping your legs over his lap. “I’m sure I’ll love wherever you’ll take me.”
“A month?”
You snort at him, “That’s too long; two weeks max.”
He pouts down as he mixes his fried rice around in the take-out cup, letting out a little grumble, “Okay.”
Once finished with your lunch, he volunteers to clean up the mess and tells you to go into his office, instructing you to open his computer and open the new email from their real estate office. You give him a quick smooch on the cheek, thanking him for cleaning up, and made your way into his office.
You sat in front of his desk; turned on his iMac, typed in his password, and waited for his mail to load when you pulled the window up. You weren’t the type to snoop or pry through his business life, but your eyes glazed over his other emails. It as oddly satisfying how he kept it so organized; having different email addresses for work, personal life, and such. But one email handle caught your eye; it was for a Jeong Yoonoh. For spam mail, perhaps? A little voice at the back of your head told you to open it, but before you could even reach for the mouse; Jaehyun comes into the room with a glass of white wine in each hand.
“Have you opened it?” He asks, using the back of his hand to close the door.
“Not yet,” You quickly clicked on the email from Jung Properties and stood up to let him sit before making yourself comfortable on his lap like earlier. You took a sip from the wine he offered and almost spat it out when he opened up the digital brochure on the screen, “These are all mansions.”
He hums, “Yes, they are. Too big?”
“How many rooms do we need? It’s just going to be the two of us.”
“For now.” Jaehyun chuckles in your ear, playfully biting your lobe.
You gasp, perking up from your seat before twisting around to send him a glare. “Don’t.”
He continues to chuckle to himself, browsing through the houses while drinking from his glass. “Don’t what, baby? We’ve talked about children before.”
“We still don’t need all that space.” You argue, mumbling into your glass.
“Yes, we do. We’ll need it for our private offices, a few guest rooms, our children’s playroom…” Jaehyun’s free hand runs over your stomach, “Our playroom.”
“We’re not going to have a playroom if we’re going to have children.” You flinch away from him but he holds you against him, making you gasp.
“You mean, we’re going to have children because of the playroom.” His hand has now unabashedly slipped under your shirt to cup your boob.
You put your wine glass down on the table, afraid to drop it. “You’re insatiable.”
He merely laughs, following after you and setting his glass by yours. “Have you seen yourself, baby? How aren’t you turned on by your own reflection?”
He reaches past you to grab the wireless mouse and opens the photo booth app, your bodies being projected on the monitor. “Look at yourself.”
His hands push your shirt over your chest and pull your bra down; his brows giving away his annoyance towards the clothing article. He’s watching the screen with you, using it like a mirror to figure out where your nipples were to roll between his fingers.
You let out a mewl, arching into his touch and holding onto his knees. The bulge in his pants grew beneath you, slotting perfectly under your clothed mound.
“Do you want to see me fuck you, [Y/N]?” He peppers small kisses on your nape, still kneading your breasts with his palms.
“I-” Your voice hitches when you began to grind on him, “I want you to record it.”
Jaehyun stops, “What? You want to make a sex tape-”
“Yes,” You whined, stretching your arm out to start recording on his computer before removing your shirt and bra.
“You’re such a naughty girl, [Y/N], hm?” Jaehyun dryly laughs, pulling you back against him and maneuvering your wanton body so his mouth had access to your chest. He licks your pert nipple a couple of times and bites the patch of skin by it. His hand had jammed itself past the garter of both your leggings and underwear, drawing a circular pattern over your clit. “You want to make a sex tape, yeah? What if someone gets a hold of the file, huh?”
“Then they’d see how good you make me feel; how you fuck me so good.”
An approving croon vibrates from his chest, sitting back for a moment to watch you grind yourself on him and although he’d love to put music on to complete the lap dance, he would have to ask you for one some other time. He gently nudges you off him, tugging at your leggings. “Off.”
You push your pants down with your underwear and toss them aside while Jaehyun just pushes his down enough to free his erection. He guides you to sit on his cock after giving himself a few pumps with his fist. Once you were eased in, he forces your legs apart by draping them over his knees and spread his legs wider.
“Smile for the camera, baby.”
Dinner with your parents and Kun had been going smoothly; you have to admit that even Jaehyun seemed to be enjoying himself while listening to Kun’s med school stories. You were midway through finishing your glass of sangria when your mother comments about how Kun and his family suddenly moved back to China.
“Ah,” Kun swallows his food and brings the napkin from his lap to wipe his lips, “It was rushed, for some reason. All they told me was they were both offered better paying jobs back at home; it would have been churlish to decline it, especially since it guarantees full payment of my tuition.”
You caught Jaehyun mindlessly nodding to Kun. You bump your knee against him and once he looks at you, you pointedly question his actions with a cock of a brow.
“Hm? Oh,” He clears his throat, “I would have done the same if I were in your parents’ shoes. No matter how great the sacrifice to be made is.”
Kun’s eyes glanced at you; he seemed melancholic as he agrees with Jaehyun’s words. You don’t know how to feel about his expression, choosing to busy yourself by cutting up your steak into even smaller pieces.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you and [Y/N] meet?”
Jaehyun chuckles and you’re already rolling your eyes because you know how he likes to answer this question.
“She slapped me with her hair.”
Your parents join him in laughing as if they didn’t know the story already while Kun was nice enough to bite back his own laughter. You huff, “We were classmates during freshman year. He tapped my shoulder to ask something and I turned to face him too quickly so my hair smacked him, okay?”
“I see.” Kun grins, probably imagining the scenario in his head. “Peculiar way of falling in love.”
“Love at first smack.” Jaehyun jokes and you step on his foot under the table, “Ow!”
“I could have ignored you, you know.” You threatened as if it would make a difference.
It was his turn to roll his eyes, “I would have kept bothering you, then. It’s not like I could ask the next table for help.”
Your father turns to Kun, “How about you, Kun? Any lady in your life?”
Kun’s face flushes into a soft pink, “No. I’m too focused on school and work. It would also feel weird to have a girlfriend while my specialization involves putting my hands between another woman’s legs.”
“How did you even end up in obstetrics?” You stab one of the steak pieces and bring it to your mouth, remembering how Kun got shy whenever you were in a promiscuous position while making out. Now he had to work with vaginas.
“My cousin passed away because of childbirth.” He solemnly admits, “It was a high-risk pregnancy and there weren’t any obstetricians in our hometown that specialized in it, so we lost both her and the baby.”
“My god,” Your mother gasps, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“It was years ago. She acted as an older sister to me, so losing her really left a mark. She’s the reason why I took up obstetrics. I plan to go back home to my country in a few years and set up a clinic there.”
You’re chewing slowly, trying to remember if he had ever mentioned to you about his cousin. You hear your name and you blink up at Kun, who was looking at you with curiosity. Swallowing, you cough a little, “What was that?”
He smiles, “You’re an interior designer, right? Doyoung mentioned about you working at a firm near the hospital.”
“I am and I was.” You wash down your food with a swig of water, “I quit my job a few days ago and I’ll be starting my own.”
“Soon.” Jaehyun quips, “Very soon.”
“That’s amazing.” Kun nods, “My dad had always wondered how that worked out for you.
You feel yourself blanching at the memory of his father the last time you saw them, “Your dad?”
“My grandfather, his dad, was an architect so he worked closely with interior designers.”
“Oh.” You lick your lips, trying to remain passive. Unable to shake the thought that if his grandfather was an architect, why were his parents so against you and your career choices?
“How are your parents, by the way? Did they move back here with you?” Your father inquires, reminding you that he and Kun’s father used to drink together with Doyoung’s dad.
“They didn’t move back with me, but they planning to visit for a few days next month or so. We should have dinner again with them.” He suggests and your parents express their enthusiasm towards him, “However, my mother…”
You peer up a him through your lashes when his voice trails off.
“She was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s a year ago. But don’t get me wrong! She’s doing wonderful, the symptoms are there; barely noticeable, really. She’s receiving therapy back at home and her lifestyle has completely changed for the better.”
You feel the urge to cry, remembering your own grandmother.
“That’s good to hear.” You’re grateful you mom reaches over to squeeze his hand before you could, “Although truly unfortunate; is it genetic?”
“I hope not.” Kun warily smiles, “I’m cutting back on a lot of potential vices, I keep follow a strict diet and workout routine.”
“No wonder you’ve lost weight.” You comment in an attempt to turn the somber mood around , finishing off your meal and putting your cutlery down. “I assumed it was from the all-nighters brought by med school.”
Kun chuckles, bringing out the dimples he had - dimples you remember loving. “Mayhaps that, too.”
Dinner shortly ends after sharing a small platter of seasonal fruits and you’re seeing your parents off as they enter their car. “Drive safe, dad. I love you guys.” You kiss your mom’s cheek through the open car window give a flying kiss to your dad.
“We love you, too, [Y/N]. You and Jaehyun drive home safely as well, okay?”
You pull away and wave at them, watching your dad put the car in reverse and drive off after nodding at you. Looking back to where you left Jaehyun and Kun, you feel uneasy at how they were conversing while sneaking glances at you. When you walk back to them, they both smile at you. “What are you guys talking about?”
“Kun was just telling me about that one time in high school-” Jaehyun sniggers and you gasp, smacking Kun’s arm out of habit.
“What did you tell him?!”
Kun yelps, reeling back and grabbing his arm. “I didn’t say anything!”
Jaehyun scoffs, “I was joking! He didn’t tell me anything… yet.”
You huffed, backhanding Jaehyun’s chest and he, too, cries softly in pain.
“Okay! I was just asking Kun if he could be your obstetrician - especially if there are complications in your pregnancy.” Jaehyun massages his chest with a pout, “I’d prefer having someone we both trust than just someone who’s just good at their job; so I asked Kun.”
“And I’d love to.” Kun adds, “I get to hold my nieces and nephews before Doyoung.”
You tittered at them, rolling your eyes. “It’s getting late.”
“Ah,” Kun nods to your observations, “I have an early shift tomorrow. Thanks for dinner. It was great seeing you again, [Y/N], and it was great meeting you!”
Jaehyun grins as he shakes the hand Kun offers to him, “You, too. We should do this again next time; you can tell me everything embarrassing [Y/N] did back in high school.”
You slap his shoulder, but he merely laughs with Kun.
“I’d love to! We should invite Doyoung, too.”
After a few more pleasantries, you and Jaehyun see Kun off as he gets into his car and drives away. Jaehyun opens your side of the car door for you and shuts it once you were seated inside before rounding to enter the driver’s side. While he starts the car, you put your seatbelt on and watch him with pursed lips.
He notices after he secures his own seatbelt, leaning over the center console to kiss you. He asks, “Are you okay?”
“Did you like Kun?”
Jaehyun laughs, sitting back properly to start driving. “Yeah. He’s a good man; family-oriented, a loving son... So, you like guys with dimples?”
“Shut up! I swear, that’s just a coincidence.” You crossed your arms, “So you mean everything you said? About meeting up with him and all?”
“Yes, [Y/N], I actually genuinely like the guy.” He rolls his eyes, but his voice drops into a murmur, “I understand why he’s your first love… he’d be a better option than-”
You put your hand over his while it gripped the gear stick to stop him from talking, “But I don’t love him anymore, you know that right? You can only call it first love because it ended. There’s only you for me now and forever.”
He smiles, moving his hand so he could bring yours up to his lips while keeping his attention on the road. “I know. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” You watch him concentrate on driving for a few minutes, relieved at how the night turned out. You were expecting Jaehyun to be petty or at least sulky; but he initiated and held conversations with Kun - more than you did - as if they were the ones rekindling a friendship. Pride and love blooms in your chest. Jaehyun really is doing his best in correcting his flaws. “By the way,”
“Hm?”
“You basically gave my ex access to my vagina.”
He sneers at you, “The only time he’ll actually have access is when it’s dilating and pushing a baby out; doubt he’d do anything else, babe.”
A grimace makes its way onto your face, albeit you agree with him. It felt a little awkward thinking about it now, but you’re sure you’ll be in too much pain from going through labor to even care about having Kun deal with your ‘down under'.
“You have plans tomorrow, right? IKEA with Yuta and Kyungwon?”
“Yeah, after lunch.”
“Oh, good.” Jaehyun hums, “Would you like to go to therapy with me tomorrow morning?”
You snap your head towards him, “Tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs, “Unless you want some other day; that’s fine, too.”
“No, I’d like to go. I can’t wait.” You affirm, letting your thoughts drift off to wonder what it would be like to attend Jaehyun’s therapy with him. You knew he had a mental disorder, but he wasn’t comfortable telling you what it was back then so you never really pressed him. It never really bothered you that you didn’t know what exact disorder he had because he seemed to be getting a better control of it. But now the topic is resurfacing and you can’t help but ponder on it. Will knowing what it is have an impact on your relationship?
Trepidation stirs within you; if it does have an impact, then how badly will it affect you? You’re trying to convince yourself that nothing will change your perspective of Jaehyun. This man has been trying so hard to change for you; trying so hard to be an open book to you like you are to him. The least you could do is learn and understand his flaws, right?
a/n: yay for update. buT WAIT !! the next part is the much awaited therapy session!! i’ll let you guys send in some questions you’d like to be tackled during the therapy session (pls dont send these with an open forum ask)
next: part 7
~ buy me a peach? but why?
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fake it ‘till you make it
chapter 1: you were mine first.
summary: a trip down memory lane as Tre returns home to find his best friend dealing with the fallout of her divorce proceedings.
a/n: this chapter is really long. it’s essentially full of backstory. i didn’t want to post each part as its own chapter bc that would end us up with four short chapters. so...prepare for time jumps. kinda wanted to get the backstory out the way so that i can get into the good stuff. let me know what you think. i know it’s a reader fic but i just think aja naomi is so pretty that’s why you see her face :)
if there are typos bare with me. I forced myself to stop making changes and just posted it. songs are linked because i’m hella dramatic and moody when i write.
words. 8,960
2006: junior year in high school. (gif).
You say we're just friends but I swear when nobody's around
You keep my hand around your neck, we connect
You're seated, alone, in the corner booth at Happy's Diner. The AP Calculus book and notes spread out across the table are the perfect repellants for teenage boys hoping to "keep you company" until your friend arrives.
Your friend who just so happens to be running extremely late. Halfway done with your second glass of soda kind of late.
Trevante comes strolling into the diner, pausing long enough to say hi to Happy before heading in your direction. Climbing over the booth, he slides in next to you.
"Sorry I'm late," he huffs as he settles in next to the window.
His arm drapes over your shoulder, as he reaches forward to drag your plate towards him. Keeping your focus on the problem you're solving, you blindly lift his left arm, turning it so that you can see the face of his watch.
"You are forty-eight minutes late." You shove his arm off your shoulder, it finding its place back to your shoulder instantly. "Why do you wear a watch if you don't know how to use it?"
"Why buy me a watch for my birthday if you know I can't use it?"
Trevante narrowly avoids the slap you send towards his hand, stealing a french fry and popping it into his mouth.
His neck rolls, a groan escaping his lips as you move the plate out of his reach.
"Come on, Y/N. I can't have any-"
"No. You can tell me where you were. What was so important you left me waiting for forty-eight minutes? I already ordered the dinner you promised me."
"You clocking me now?" His brow arches as he drags the plate across the table.
"When it affects me? Yes. Yes, I am."
Trevante lightly shrugs his shoulder before retrieving the ketchup. The fact he doesn't want to tell you causes you to lift his arm from over your shoulder.
Resting his arms against the table, he silently busies himself with cleaning your plate.
"Why can't we study at your place?
Trevante watched as your shoulders rise and fall, your brow furrowing as you reach in your backpack. You're willing to acknowledge his question isn't that strange. From the fifth grade, the two of you have always studied at your house. Your dining room table has years worth of homework sessions. When you entered high school, your study sessions had migrated to your bedroom.
Trevante could usually be found sprawled across your bed; arm tucked behind his head as he lounged on your pillows. While you were found seated on the floor, books and notes displayed neatly around you. You would kill to be back in your room right now. Both of your giggles mingling with the latest playlist Trevante has downloaded on his computer. However, ever since your last study session, that doesn't seem like a great idea.
Your mind is still trying to make sense of what exactly happened. You were slightly hopped up on coffee, the late-night study session keeping you and Trevante up well past your parents. Trevante...was wired by something else. What exactly? You're not sure. He'd arrived at your place, hours before, in a shitty mood but refused to tell you why. You'd initially thought it was because you'd rejected his invitation to attend William Prescott's party because you needed to study. Trevante had gone to the party before meeting you. Whatever happened at the party had stopped him from being a semi-decent study partner.
You were used to the textbook attempts of avoiding his work. The television, conversations about something he'd heard in the locker room, etc. What you weren't used to was his fingers toying with your hair, or brushing against your thighs. His lips brushing against your shoulder.
You'd nearly caused him to break his neck on the stairs with how fast you got him out of your house that night.
You grip your eyes closed for a brief moment, an all familiar heat spreading across your skin as he studies your face.
"It's just, my mom...she said something about us having an open-door policy and raging hormones, and it just...weirded me out?"
"Raging hormones," he scoffs, his attention focusing on the problem you're finishing up. "Your mom thinks we're having sex? We used to take baths together."
Erasing your mistake, you try again. You don't respond until you've finished the problem. Sliding the nearly completed homework assignment in Trevante's direction, you pick up your soda.
"I know, that's what I told her. She seems to think guys became sex-crazed when they turn sixteen."
"It's earlier than that," Trevante teases as he looks over the work.
It takes him a moment to realize the assignment is his not yours. He'd given you the completed homework during third period.
"Can you look this over?" He'd asked, hastily placing a kiss against your cheek before starting down the hall after William. "I'll make it up to you tonight. Dinner at Happy's at seven!"
You'd marked up most of the assignment in red while waiting for his arrival. The fact he'd attempted to do the homework without your help leading to you redoing it for him to soften the blow.
Releasing a sigh of relief, Trevante grins in your direction.
"You're so fucking smart, Y/N. It took me all last night to finish that."
You wince as his grip tugs against your shoulder, pulling your closer. His lips briefly press against your cheek. Your giggles fill the air as a second kiss follows.
"Stop," you giggle, lightly pushing against his cheek you watch him place a kiss against your palm before returning your focus on the math problem to his homework. "Don't think compliments will get me to finish your homework for you. You're finishing the rest. Right now. I'm only helping you make the corrections from now on. I only fixed it early because I can't be here until ten again."
Trevante's eyes roll as he accepts the pencil you offer him. "I've got plays to remember. I don't have time to ace AP Calc."
"And I have an entire European History essay to finish when I get home, so focus."
You spend the next thirty minutes helping Trevante finish working through his assignment. By the time you're finished explaining his mishap in the last problem, he's got a headache, and you're on your second plate of fries.
"You got that?"
"Yeah."
"Tre?" You wince at the sigh escaping his lips. "You don't sound too convincing. Do you need me to explain it again?"
You look up to find him watching you. His brow furrowed.
"What do you think of Prescott?" Trevante asks.
Your brow furrows as you concentrate on finishing the remainder of your shake.
"Prescott? As in William Prescott? The quarterback?"
"Yeah."
You attempt to read his expression, but whatever is on Trevante's mind, he isn't giving much away.
"He's...nice? I don't know, Tre," You laugh. "I don't know him. I mean, he's spoken to me maybe...three times. Each of those times is because I'm with you."
William Prescott was hard to ignore. Even if you weren't acquainted with him, it was impossible not to know who William was. His father was mayor, his mother, a member of the school board. Not to mention William was captain and quarterback of your school's football team. You share two classes with William. The fact you tend to sit in the front, and him in the back, making it difficult for him to talk to you. You can't even remember the last time he looked in your direction, let alone acknowledged you.
"I'm pretty sure he's gonna try and ask you out."
Your eyes roll as you uncap the highlighter in your hand.
"Right." You snort.
Concentrating on highlighting the formula before you, you glance up when you realize nothing else has been said.
"He asked me if you were seeing anyone," Trevante responds, his expression unreadable.
"And? What'd you tell him?" You ask the urgency in your voice, causing Trevante's eyes to roll.
He shrugs.
"I said not that I know of."
You let his words sink in, your brow furrowing. You're not sure what to say to that. If there was anyone who knew about what was going in your life, it was him.
"Okay..."
"I mean...I told him you weren't really looking for him. I figured he wasn't really your type. He's the quarterback, and you're..."
You wait for him to finish, but he doesn't.
"I guess you're the only exception to my newfound hatred for jocks?"
Lifting his arm, Trevante didn't bother responding as you gathered up your belongings before heading to the door.
two weeks later.
You keep your hands out before you. With your palms an inch away from the vent, you struggle to keep your entire body from trembling. Your dress is clinging to your wet body, the fabric's weight adding to the uncomfortable sensation on your skin. The air pumping through the ten-year-old jeep is a struggle on a good day. Paired with pouring rain on a chilly October night, it seemed the old vehicle wasn't going to be up to the task.
The rustling alongside you isn't enough for you to open your eyes, or move away from the slowly heating vents.
Trevante continues rustling through his gym bag. He is in search of an extra set of clothes. The spur of the moment thunderstorm that had erupted at the end of the game left everyone unprepared. You were in the stands, only really attending to cheer on your best friend, so you hadn't brought an extra pair of clothes. With the downpour, exiting the stands was a disaster. You didn't want to twist your ankle running down the slick foundation. By the time you made it through the gates of the field, you had to trek up the hill to the parking lot. You had struggled against the crowd to reach Trevante's jeep. By the time he'd met you in the parking lot, you were soaked to the bone.
After retrieving his shirt, Trevante grabs his letterman jacket for good measure.
"All right," he huffs as he tosses his duffle into the back. "This is all I've got."
Tugging the wet dress over your head, you toss it into the backseat before gladly accepting the longsleeved shirt.
The initial stripping off your clothes left Trevante frozen. In his haste, he hadn't considered the idea you might have to undress to get warm. His eyes had widened, his gaze instinctively drifting down your chest to the light pink bra you wore. He pauses to admire how the light fabric contrasts against your skin. You are too busy struggling to tug the shirt over your head to notice. Clearing his throat, Trevante shifts in his seat before focusing on adjusting the radio.
"I can't believe I let you talk me into coming," you mumble as you slip your arms through the sleeves of his shirt.
"You can use my jacket." Stealing a second glance in your direction, Trevante felt his shoulders relax once it became apparent you were decently covered. "It wasn't like you were doing anything anyway."
Shoving your arms through the sleeves of the jacket, you can't deny him a smile as a warmth passes over your body. The fabric is thick, capturing his scent. It feels as though its nearly twice your size.
"I was because, believe it or not; my world does not revolve around you, Rhodes."
"Right," he scoffs. "It's just boring when I'm not around."
Trevante glances apprehensively in your direction.
"So…" You wait for his sentence to be completed. When he doesn't speak, you glance across the car to find his thumb tapping against the steering wheel. "Will Prescott?"
A heat flushes over your skin at the mention of his name.
A light shrug rolls off your shoulder, your gaze diverting. "What about Will?"
"You're going out with him next week."
"Sounds like you already know the answer to that," you mumble.
The laugh that fills the car brings the heat to your face.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing," Trevante shakes his head before shifting the car into reverse.
You reach forward pushing it back into park.
"No, hold up. What?"
He looks at you for a moment before releasing a deep breath.
"It's just...he's kind of a player."
"William Prescott, a player?" Now it's your turn to scoff. "He's the captain of the football team-"
"That should tell you-"
"Oh, so does that extend to you?"
Trevante smiles, motioning for you to finish your sentence.
"Besides, you didn't even let me finish. Will's the second smartest kid in our class, and I know that because I'm the smartest. He's the poster child of our town. You can't be a poster child, slutting it up without everyone knowing. I haven't seen him date anyone since freshman year."
"Yeah you're right...must just be locker room talk." Resting his head back against his seat, Trevante runs his hand over his face. "What'd you wanna ask me?"
Suddenly your motives for attending the game seemed stupid. You'd texted Tre before the game, asking if he could give you a ride home.
"I need a favor." Your text had read, followed by "A big one. However, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Ever."
"Depends on how many laws we break," he'd responded.
"It's…" Your voice tapers off as you concentrate on the working windshield wipers. "A terrible idea."
"A bad as you picking William Prescott over me?"
When his teasing isn't enough to make you smile, Trevante sits up.
"I'm not a cheerleader, Tre. I don't have guys lining up after me like girls do you. I don't want my first kiss to be with a guy I barely know."
"Look, Y/N, I was fucking around about Will. He's not that bad. Pretentious, but not a complete dick…" Trevante's eyes widen. "You want me to…"
Suddenly the idea sounds stupid, and you're backpedaling.
"It's just I mean, he's the quarterback. Also, I know guys talk and-can't you tell when someone's like inexperienced with that kind of stuff? I don't want that being the only thing he thinks about when he's kissing me-and then he goes back and tells everyone during "locker room talk." Next thing I know, the school newspaper will be publishing that I'm a virgin-"
"Whoa-chill," he chuckles, the smile on his face stopping you in your tracks. "Okay?"
You nod. Your gaze drops to your hands. You're almost sure the heat burning your cheeks is visible to him.
You reluctantly look at Trevante as his touch finds your chin.
His lips press against yours, pulling your eyes closed. It takes a moment for your body to respond. By the time your brain processes what is happening, his lips are gone. His eyes are on you.
"Relax, y/n." He chuckles, his tongue passing over his lips at the sight of the range of emotions flickering across your face. He gently brushes his thumb along the curve of your jaw. "I'm not looking to break your heart. It's just a kiss."
"Just a kiss. Right."
You nod, but the action only causes Trevante to laugh for a second time. He knows the wheels are churning in your head. That, just like every aspect in life, you are beginning to overthink.
"Relax."
"Easy for you to say, Cassanova. Besides I am-"
A squeal comes out mangled with a gasp as his hands find waist and he's pulling against you. He's lifting you into the passenger seat and resting you against his lap. Your hands find his shoulders, the urge to push some space between you the first thought that crosses your mind.
There isn't much space you can put between the two of you with the steering wheel behind you.
You blink. Meeting Trevante's gaze, you feel the pulse of your heart skyrocketed as his hands move from your waist to your lower back.
Sensing your tension, Trevante smiles softly.
"I'll let you take the lead. I know you're big on learning on your own."
Suddenly you're aware of your surroundings.
The smell of rain against your skin. The soap from his rushed shower. The tap of the rain against the window, and roof of the car. The feel of his jeans against your thighs. The sensation that rushes across your skin with each shift of his jeans against your skin when you move. The muscles of his shoulders beneath the fabric of his t-shirt. The slight spike of his heartbeat as your touch drifts to his chest. The rise and fall of his chest as he takes a deep breath as he waits for you to kiss him.
Relax, Y/N. It's just a kiss.
When you blink, and your eyes lift to meet his, you find Trevante's gaze on yours. A tiny smile is on his lips, his head resting against the headrest. The sense of calm that seems to cover you from head to toe stems from the steadiness of his heart against your palm. His thumbs gently massage the outside of your thighs.
The sight of his growing smile causes one to spread across your lips in response. With a slight shake of your head, you place your hands along either side of his neck and lean in to kiss him.
His grip tightens around your waist, shifting your body forward so that you straddle him.
Trevante's fingers are in your hair, keeping your lips pressed against his. The desire to feel as much of you as he can eliminate any remaining space between the two of you. Neither of you can keep track of who does what first. Who's tongue brushes against who's lips first, who's hands start to wander first, who's giggle melts into a groan as your hips shift instinctively against his.
Time seems to fall away as quickly as the rain.
His lips linger along the curve of your neck. The pain that had pulled a gasp of irritation from you, a few seconds prior, has been replaced by a much more addictive sensation. The kind that sends a shiver down your spine and digs your fingers into his shoulders. Your hips instinctively shift against his as the coolness of his breath fans the sensitive bruise forming against your skin. His lips press a kiss against the bruise, retracing their steps until they’re pressing against your lips suppressing your giggles.
The tap that echoes off the walls of the jeep causes you to jump. Your back pressed against the steering wheel, your heart skipping a beat as the horn fills the air. Trevante’s hands instinctively grip your waist, pulling you forward, steadying your body. He winces as your weight shifts, your hand pressing against his chest.
Through the damp window, you can make out a single figure. As if that isn’t enough to scare you, you realize the figure is surrounded by something much more frightening than a peeping Tom. The blending of red and blue lights flooding the car distorts the figure. A second tap, with the butt of the flashlight, against the glass follows.
“Don’t-” you catch Trevante’s wrist as he reaches to roll down the window.
“What? You think they’re gonna go away? We can’t exactly say we didn’t know they were there.”
The rain has stopped, leaving just the chilly October night air. You shiver against Trevante as he rolls the window down. There’s no point in climbing into the passenger seat, moving would only draw more attention to your current situation. Your face turns towards the passenger seat, Trevante’s hand lifting to shield his eyes as the flashlight floods the driver side.
Trevante blinks, allowing his eyes to adjust to the light residing on his face. His grip painfully tightens around your waist, his fingers attempting to send you a message, once he realizes who’s on the other end of the flashlight.
Your heart jumps into your throat as a man’s voice floats through the window.
“Game’s over Tre,” came a familiar voice. “You kids need to go ahead and clear out the lot. Take this somewhere else…Preferably with a condom, and off school grounds.”
Trevante nods quicker than intended. He clears his throat, his mind torn between focusing on hiding the fact you were half-naked in his lap and wrapping up the conversation so that he could roll up the window.
“Yes, sir.” He stammers, his weak smile arching the cop’s brow. “We’re – uh, we were actually getting ready to go grab some food. Kinda just lost track of time. But uh – we’ll go now. Sorry for the trouble.”
Trevante moves to roll up the window, but pauses as the officer rest his hand against the door. Cutting off the flashlight, he reaches in to clap Trevante on the shoulder.
“That was one hell of a game, kid” the cop whistled. “You’ve got some speed, son. Those boys from Eastside didn’t know what to do with yo-”
You grip your eyes shut as your father’s words come to an abrupt halt. His gaze lingers on the backseat, Tre’s eyes drifting shut once he remembers what’s in the back. Discarded in haste, your dress rested on top of his gym bag. The same dress your father had zipped for you this morning before you gave him a kiss and ran to catch the bus. You don’t have to turn and face to him to know that your dad’s shooting daggers into Trevante.
A shiver runs through your body as the door is yanked open flooding the jeep with the night air.
Pain shoots through your arm.
You wince as your dad’s grip tightens as he tugs you out the car. Your stomach flutters as nearly fall face forward towards the ground. Your dad pauses long enough to ensure both of your feet have planted before heading towards the awaiting squad car. You stumble forward as you struggle to match his much longer strides to prevent from tripping.
The initial shock is what allowed him to get you halfway to the squad car. But once you notice Ramos, his much younger partner hesitantly shrugging off the squad car, your heels dig into the ground.
“Dad, you’re hurting my arm –” You yank your arm back, the force causing your father’s grip to tighten. For a brief moment you both pause. The adrenaline from just a few moments before seems to have kicked into high gear as you meet your father’s gaze. “I can walk myself to the car.”
Trevante is already out of his jeep, partially afraid he might be drug out next. He watches you storm off to the car and takes a step in your direction. The more rational part of his brain tells him he should get back into his jeep and head home before your dad’s gun is out of its holster.
“Sir, I promise you, it’s not what it looks like-”
"Get your ass in the car, Tre."
It's not until you've slid into the back of the squad car, slamming the door as hard as you can for good measure, that Trevante realizes he was meant to join you.
Trevante hesitates. Pointing over his shoulder, he takes a step back towards the security of his jeep.
"Uh-my pop's will flip if I don't bring the car home."
"Don't worry about that," your dad smiles as he pauses to clap his hand on Trevante's shoulder. His grip digs into Trevante's skin, causing the young man to wince. "I'll explain it to him when I drop you off."
Once your dad is seated in the driver's seat, you lean forward, your fingers pressed against the grate.
"You're not going to let Ramos cuff me? Take me down to the station to prove a point?"
Your dad doesn't speak to you. Instead, he lifts his radio and shares that he's dropping two teenagers off at home.
In fact, he doesn't speak to anyone for the fifteen car ride home. He pulls up to the curb in front of your house and comes to a stop. You get out. You hop back as the squad car takes off. Driving past Trevante’s house, it does a quick U turn before speeding out of the neighborhood.
You take the front steps two at a time, not bothering to check if the door closes fully behind you. The last thing you need is for your mom to see you. You head straight to the shower, locking the door, and hoping no one will bother speaking to you. But as you cut off the light and head to your room, you know that is impossible.
You enter your room to find your mom seated on top of your bed, patiently waiting for you.
Your shoulders tense, your body bracing for the screams. But, your mom surprises you by quietly asking.
"Are you okay?"
"It's embarrassing. I wasn't doing anything-"
"That's not what your father told me." She interjects, your face falling into your hands. "He said you and Tre were...closer than usual."
You find yourself wondering if your father had recounted precisely how he'd found you.
"It was a kiss," you sigh. "Nothing else -- We didn't do anything else. We weren't going to."
"We're not surprised, sweetheart." Your mother's response causes you to blink in confusion. She was not lecturing you. She was using this opportunity to have yet another sex talk. "I mean -- your father is pretty surprised. But your father and I have had this conversation already. The two of you spend an awful amount of time together. You and Trevante have been friends for a while. You're both growing older, and your bodies are changing. He's noticing how your body's changing. You're noticing his-"
"Mom-"
"Your hormones are through the roof, your body might feel like it's hypersensitive around him. That's normal. You find yourself wondering if sex is as good as it looks on tv--"
"I don't need the sex talk again." You groan as you cross the room. Taking a seat beside her, you pick up your pillow before laying back. “And, what is it with you and hormones? This is the second time this week you’ve brought them up.”
Your mom doesn't quite believe you. "A mother’s intuition. The last time we had the sex talk, honey, you were a freshman. You weren't thinking about boys-"
"And I'm really not now," you mumble from beneath the pillow covering your face.
"Take that off."
You groan.
Doing as she says you allow her to tug against your hands pulling you up. Sitting against the headboard, you tuck your knees into your chest.
"Kissing can feel good. But it often leads to something more serious. I'm not as naive as your father. You can't stay a little girl forever. I just don't want you rushing into something you're not ready for. Or at least not with a clear head."
"Mom, I wanted to get my first kiss over with. So I'm not the only girl in the entire junior class that has never been kissed. Tre just did it as a friend. Nothing is going on between us. We're still best friends."
Your mom is silent for a moment. You feel nervous as her gaze studies your eyes before leaving your face. It feels like with just a look, she can visualize every moment from before, and what is to come. Heat races across your skin as you think of Trevante's lips against yours. It rushes to your thighs as her eyes find your neck. The place where his lips showed you that kisses didn't have to be on your lips to feel amazing. The place where your flesh was tender, bruised.
"Best friends still need to understand the importance of condoms." She smiles as your brows raise. You're not sure how you didn't notice it before, but she lifts the box of condoms from her lap. "You can't depend on a guy to have one. In fact, most will try and say you don't need them."
Noting your wide eyes, she says quietly. "It'll give your father more peace of mind if he knows you have these. Even if you're not planning on using them."
You take the box, tossing it towards the chair in the corner.
She gets up pausing long enough to press a kiss against your forehead.
"I think it might be best if Tre doesn't stop by for a while. At least until your father can cool down."
"Fine," you huff.
"Night sweetie."
You watch the door close behind her, listening to her retreat to her room. A few moments later, you hear her speaking to your father through the phone.
You get up, crossing the room. You retrieve the previously discarded box of condoms. Opening the top drawer putting the box of condoms inside. You're about to close it when you stop to rearrange the clothes inside. You cover the box from your sight. Pushing the drawer shut you take a deep breath.
You study your reflection in the mirror. You swollen lips, wide eyes. The bruise on your neck. You realize it won't be easy to hide it in tomorrow's heat. When you cross the room, you pause by the window. You realize Tre's curtains are open. The light in his room is on. From your windows, you can see directly into each other's bedroom.
No matter how many times you've shared this tidbit, Trevante doesn't seem to utilize the blinds. You tend to keep your blinds shut in the morning and after his return home from practice. Accidently spotting him walking around his room, stark naked in the eighth grade has made you overly cautious.
You are in the process of untying the string holding back your curtains when you realize he's moved in front of the window. From what you can tell, your father hasn’t done any physical damage to him.
Trevante tugs his shirt over his head lazily tossing it in the direction of his hamper. He pauses to release the breath he was holding. As he turns towards the window, you take a step to the side. Your breath hitches in your throat as you bump your elbow.
He waits a moment. The light flooding from your bedroom making him hopeful you’ll check to see if he’s home. But you never do.
two and a half years ago. (gif)
Catching my breath, pounding my chest
I’m loving you less, I need to confess.
What is it about firsts that the human brain loves so much?
It seems as though we always remember our firsts.
Our first kiss, the first time we heard our favorite song. The first time we felt an inkling of true love. We can remember everything down to what we were wearing, how fast our heart was beating, the weather. Everything. Down to the smallest of details.
When you're in love, being able to remember all of your firsts is a beautiful thing.
What about when you're no longer in love? When only one of you is still in love?
Suddenly, your firsts are different.
You begin to remember the first time you notice his lips felt different against yours. The first time his hand stops pressing against your lower back as he passes you in the kitchen for his morning coffee. The first time he stops whispering how beautiful you look when stealing a second kiss.
You remember the first time his phone lights up, illuminating the bedroom ceiling when he thinks you've dozed off. The first time he calls to tell you he's working late, so there's no need to postpone dinner. The first time dates that once seemed important only seem important when he is reminded of their significance. You even remember the first time you gave up on sending him reminders.
Most importantly, you remember the first time he tells you he isn't in love with you anymore.
It had come in your favorite restaurant: The Gold Eagle. William always took you there when he had news to share whether it be a promotion, the winning of a case, or when he wanted to renew your vows.
You weren't expecting any news in particular when he asked you to book a babysitter for Colby. Certainly not the end of your marriage.
The words had come abruptly -- or maybe it seemed abrupt to you.
How else would can you describe the shift in conversation from plans for your son's birthday party to not being in love anymore?
Abrupt. It is the only way to describe it.
When he'd first spoke the words, you didn't respond. Will had thought you hadn't heard him. Under the music and laughter surrounding you, he couldn't be too sure.
Will cleared his throat, shifting in his chair as he paused the action of cutting his steak.
"Did you hear me?" He'd asked. His brows knit together as he studied your face for any sign of acknowledgment. "Y/N."
You had heard him. Loud and clear.
Your mind concentrated on his word choice. It was meticulous. There was a time when you loved that Will spoke that way. He never strung people along, or beat around the bush. He always told the truth, sparing someone's feelings came second.
You always knew where he stood, or so you thought.
"I don't love you anymore." Those were the five words that had come out of his mouth.
He hadn't said, "I'm falling out of love with you." He wasn't giving you a warning as to what might come. He was careful with his words because he knew you. He knew you were hoping he hadn't made his mind up. He wanted you to understand that there was no room for repairing.
There was a tiny part of you that was not shocked. That little voice, in the back of your mind, that has been whispering to you the last year. The tiny voice that has been telling you to trust your gut each time you doubted Will.
Reaching forward, you picked up the wine glass before you. Will's eyes observed as you downed the red contents of the entire glass.
He wiped at his mouth, his jaw tightening as you reach across the table for his untouched glass. He doesn't bother objecting as you down the entire glass of wine. He subtly waved off the young waiter approaching with a fresh bottle in his hand.
Will cleared his throat, sitting up in his seat.
"I've already drawn up an agreement. I believe you'll find that it takes both you and Colby into consideration."
He reached into the pocket of his suit jacket. He produced a white envelope.
"William-," you gasp, the air in your lungs escaping you for a moment.
For a brief second, the sound halts his passing of the envelope. He watched the welling of your eyes. His throat clenched as he tried to swallow.
"I don't want to fight you for anything. I told my lawyer that the money's not an issue."
"The money you got because I stayed home with your son? The money you earned being able to show up at all hours at the drop of your boss's hat because I put off getting my masters and furthering my career? Now you’re kicking me and your son out of my house --"
"I told my lawyer that the money's not an issue." He repeated. "I have opted to split it all, 50/50. I'll pay a set amount the first of each month. It will be enough to keep you and Colby comfortable. It will cover his tuition-"
"What do you want me to fix?" Your question had come out softly. The raised question pulled Will's eyes from the envelope. "I'll do anything you want. I'll-Please do not break up our family."
William knew this would happen. He knew that letting you down wouldn't be easy, no matter how much he tried. That is why he can't meet your eye as your plea hangs in the air. He can't watch you cry, his gaze returning to the envelope before him. The tears which blurred your vision are his one weakness.
As he watched you wipe at your eyes, Will found his confidence slipping away. He leaned forward and placed the envelope in the center of the table. He needed to present his out, needed to make the break clean. There was one piece of information he knew would make you take your previous plea back.
"She's pregnant," Will continued as you concentrated on finishing the wine in your glass. It takes a moment for his words to sink in. You blink, meeting his gaze. "She wants to keep it, and...so do I."
Suddenly, everything made sense — Will's insistence on hiring a babysitter. There was a reason you were having dinner in a public place as opposed to the privacy of your dining room.
Will didn't want you to cause a scene, or at least knew you wouldn't. Not here.
"We can't have another kid right now, baby." You recited, the words halting his movements. "I'm swamped at the office. They're finally giving me a shot. I wouldn't want to leave you at home taking care of two kids just as I'm getting a break in my career."
Will shook his head. "I...It hasn't been right between us for months, Y/N. What's the point of staying together if we're drifting apart? Please don't say we need to stay together for Colby. I'm not leaving my son. But kids pick up on shit. No matter how good we are at faking it in front of him."
"Come on, y/n," he sighed as you glanced over your shoulder in search of your waiter. When you spotted the young man, you lifted your empty wine glass in the air. Will continued speaking the feeling he was digging himself into a deeper hole heavy against his chest. "This isn't a surprise to either of us-"
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," you scoffed as you watched your hesitant waiter arrive. Sensing the tension between you and your husband, the young man quickly attempted to uncork the fresh bottle of wine. "I wasn't aware that my husband was fucking someone else while he was also fucking me-"
"Alexis and I-"
William watched your movements freeze.
The mentioning of the young paralegal's name seemed to break through the haze that had started forming on your mind.
"Could you be even more cliche? You fucked the office's teenybopper paralegal? And you got her pregnant? You could have just used a condom."
For a moment, William didn't react. He watched the range of emotions wash over your face. The frustration that morphs into disappointment. The resolution that forms as you reached forward taking the bottle of wine from the hands of the struggling waiter.
"He'll pay for it."
You removed the napkin from your lap, sitting it on the table. You picked up the envelope and shoved it into your purse. You're halfway to the door by the time Will can take out his wallet and pay.
The cold air hit you hard. The intake of fresh air causing your head to swirl. The burn of your chest and rush of your heart made the task of retrieving your valet ticket from your purse difficult.
Once you found the ticket, you turned. The wind was knocked out of you as ran into a solid barrier.
"Whoa. You okay?"
Trevante caught his breath, his hands instinctively finding your waist to keep you from falling back.
You looked up at him, the recognization on his face causing his brow to furrow.
"Fuck," you groaned, your hands instinctively pushing against his chest.
The look on your face caused Trevante to ignore your request of space; his gaze drifted over your shoulder in search of an explanation.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, the warmth of his hands finding your cheeks. His grip was firm, forcing you to stop your attempt to turn your face away.
You shook your head; your eyes gripped closed.
"I can't see you right now. You of all people. I cannot handle seeing you right now."
"Are you okay?"
Will's grip found your right elbow, his touch seeming to snap you out of it. Wiping at your eyes, you allowed him to guide your body closer to his.
"It's all good, man," Will smiled as he watched Trevante reach out to take your left hand.
"You sure?"
With one look, William knew he was not the one the question was directed to.
His weight shifted forward as Trevante takes in the scrunching of your nose. He knows the action very well. He knew that the silent breaths you take are an attempt to stop the tears in your eyes from spilling over. But you also won't meet his gaze.
"Yeah, look, man. Y/N just had too much wine." Will chuckled as he retrieved the bottle from your hand. "I figured it'd be best she finished this one at home. You know how she is. Could never keep up with the guys."
You wrapped your arms around your waist, your eyes remaining on the ground before you as Will draped your jacket over your shoulders. You nod.
"I'm fine. Just ready to go home."
Trevante was thrown by how fast your entire demeanor had changed before his eyes. The tears were gone, along with the shaking of your voice. He almost thought he'd imagined it.
Before Trevante could respond, Will had led you back towards the valet. He helped you into the passenger seat, pausing long enough to give Trevante a wave before walking around the back of the car and getting into the driver's seat.
2019: this morning.
Concentrating on your son, you smile as Colby absentmindedly toys with the phone in his hand.
The headphones resting over his curls, obstruct any sound or conversations you don't want him to hear. After your reunion, he'd climbed into your lap to watch an episode of Teen Titans.
You're both seated outside of the courtroom, patiently awaiting your turn. The clock on the wall, states you have five more minutes until your lives officially change.
They have changed steadily over the past few months, more noticeably for you than Colby. It took a while for him to understand that his dad was no longer living with you. William tried to stay present. He saw Colby more than you initially thought he would. The two of you alternate pickups and drop-offs at school. William stops by to share dinner with the two of you on Sundays, taking Colby to eat with him and Alexis twice a week.
When he's feeling up to it, Colby spends a week with his father. Usually, he opts for weekends. He hasn't warmed up to Alexis yet. Or their daughter.
Today is the first time you've physically held your son in two weeks. William had taken him to Atlanta to visit his parents for their wedding anniversary at the start of summer break.
"Thanks for letting me take him."
Instinctively, your eyes leave your Colby to find Alexis.
She is waiting beside William's lawyer, by the courtroom doors. She is cradling their daughter, Lola, in her arms. Although William's lawyer is speaking to her, Alexis's attention is focused on you.
"He is your son."
"I know, Y/N." William takes a deep breath. He releases it before adding. "I know two weeks is a long time, and you didn't want him to go...so thanks. It meant a lot to my parents."
You nod before looking in his direction.
"I'm shocked Alexis didn't show up with balloons, streamers, a "bride to be" sash, save the date cards...a marriage license for the judge to sign after she notarizes the divorce decree."
Your words harden William's jaw, his gaze sinking to his lap.
"We haven't spoken much about it," he breathes, but the wiping of his palms against his pants legs begs to differ. "We're still trying to settle in with Lola."
"But you have talked about it."
"She wants it to happen sooner than later."
"Well, you can come back here tomorrow and make it official. As of today, you are officially free of me, Mr. Prescott."
Most of the court proceedings are a blur — stipulations, and compromises going in one ear and out the other.
You didn't need to focus in on the words. You'd memorized that divorce agreement front to back. It's impossible not to when you've found yourself crying over it as many times as you have the past few months.
Many of those tear-filled nights, when you'd settled for a glass of wine over blowing William's brains out, you'd thought of calling your lawyer. She and everyone who learned the details of your split urged you to file under claims of adultery. It could increase the amount of child support and alimony, but it wouldn't give you any satisfaction. Your mother didn't care about satisfaction. She wanted you to hit William where it hurt, or at least where it would hurt Alexis the most, in his pocket. But you didn't.
It when you are having a lasting doubt about your decision when a slight nudge comes to your side.
Looking up, you find the judge's expectant gaze on you.
"Mrs. Prescott, would you like to keep your last name?" She asked for a second time. "You have the option of remaining a Prescott, or returning your legal name to that of your maiden."
"Um..." Alexis's brows shoot up at the hesitation. She leans over, whispering to William. He looks away from you long enough to respond to her. Keeping his last name had never crossed your mind, for more than a few brief seconds. It always seemed unimportant compared to ensuring you were financially stable for Colby. "I would like to keep it, your honor. It's the same as my son's."
William nods, his reaction falling on the opposite end of the spectrum when compared to Alexis's.
"Mrs. Prescott will keep her legal name," the judge noted. "As of today, upon the signing of the presented documentation, from both parties, your divorce will be finalized."
William meets your gaze. His fingers gently ruffle Colby's hair. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss against your son’s forehead. He finds himself reaching out to wrap his arm around you, his arm giving you a gentle squeeze. He accepts the pen offered to him by his lawyer. William’s hesitation catches the attention of his fiance, but not yours as you place a kiss against Colby’s cheek.
"To new beginnings," his lawyer smiles, squeezing William's shoulder. The pressure a mixture of reassurance and urge causing WIlliam to remove the cap before leaning over the document.
"Yeah...new beginnings."
2019: later on in the day. (gif)
"Do I have to wear this?"
Tugging against the collar of his shirt, Colby attempts to undo the top button. The light green polo button-down was one of the many gifts found in Colby's suitcase, courtesy of William's parents. Each time he visits them, they send him home with an entirely new wardrobe.
He needs to start dressing like a young man, Y/N. William's mother would always say.
"Yes," you sigh. Taking a step forward, you ring the doorbell for a second time before moving back to stand alongside your son.
"Daddy's always making me dress like this," Colby huffs, giving the collar another tug. "I hate dressing like this."
"It's because you look so handsome," you gently tease. "If I unbutton it, will you feel better?"
Nodding, Colby allows a grin to slide across his face as you kneel down before him. Undoing the top button you watch him release a dramatic sigh of relief.
"Hold on, let me get my glasses. I believe my eyes are deceiving me. Y/N Prescott?" Stepping onto the front porch, Trevante's father joking adjusted the frames resting on his nose. "I can't remember the last time that husband of yours let you come down to this part of town. Last time I saw you, you definitely weren't this tall, little man. How are you, Colby?"
"Good, sir. Thank you for asking." Bouncing his weight against his heels, Colby pauses long enough to shake the hand offered to him. He attempts to take a step inside in search of the children's laughter from inside the house. But you catch his shoulder causing him to stay put.
Mr. Rhodes looks over your shoulder, his gaze scanning the street.
"Speaking of husband's, where's yours? I wish I could say I've forgotten what he looks like, but his face is all over town now that he's made partner at that law firm. What is called now?"
"He couldn't make it." Offering up the platter of brownies in your hand, you feel your shoulders relax as his attention shifts to the snacks. "I made your favorite."
Lifting the lid, Mr. Rhodes sneaks a brownie out.
"Go ahead and takes those in, sweetheart. You know the way. Let's not tell, the misses that I had one."
"Your secret's safe with me."
You keep your free hand on Colby's head as you make your way inside. He knows he must stay at your side until he delivers the gift for Trevante's mom.
With each step, you find you're surprised how familiar the house feels despite the number of years since your last visit.
The music blasting outside is muffled by the shut screen door leading to the back yard, and the laughter and voices coming from the kitchen.
Nearly all of the wives and mothers from the neighborhood are in the kitchen, ducking under and stepping around one another as they balance different plates and bowls. You remain off to the side, suddenly feeling out of place.
Trevante's mother spots Colby first, her squeal of excitement pulling a shy grin from your son.
"Colby Andrew Prescott, my angel!" Scooping him up, she quickly places a kiss against his cheek before stopping to give his face a good once over. "You have gotten so big! And so handsome, just like your father. I've missed you. Both of you!"
Pulling you into a tight hug, his mother places a quick kiss against your cheek.
"Can you be an angel, and take these out to Tre? We're running behind with the food."
Before you can respond, Trevante's mother has replaced the platter of brownies with a plate stacked high with hamburger patties.
She gives you a gentle push towards the back yard, leaving you no room for opposition.
When you'd gotten the call from her, a few days prior, you thought it was a mistake. Trevante was coming home, and she was inviting everyone in the neighboorhood to stop by the house. Your initial plan had been to not show. It wasn't as though the two of you were that close anymore. Surely no one would notice if you didn't attend.
Maybe that's why you pause in the doorway when you spot him across the deck.
He's peppering playful kisses against the cheeks of his niece. Her giggles fill the air as he catches her fingers before her lips before pressing a final kiss against her forehead.
Placing her down, Trevante picked up the tongs before removing the hot dogs from the grill.
"Can I have two of those?" Colby asks as he stops at your side.
"You can have as many as you want," Trevante chuckles as he takes a step in your direction. "Man, you've gotten big, kid."
Colby nods, his smile growing as he tilts his head back for a better look at Trevante.
"That's what everyone keeps telling me."
Smiling, Trevante squats down before Colby.
"How old are you now? Five?"
"No!" Colby's laughter fills the air as he rolls his eyes. "I'm eight. I turn nine in fourteen days."
"Fourteen, huh? I better start looking for a gift."
Colby's eyes widen at the offer, his head tilting back to meet your gaze. "My momma has the list...if you need help."
"Alright. I'll get a copy. Up top." Trevante winces as their palms collide, shaking his hand out. "Take it easy on me, lil' man. I'm not as strong as you anymore. How 'bout you go play for a bit. Work up that appetite?"
Lightly ruffling his hair, you watch as Colby takes off the yard towards the other kids. Your focus remains on him for a moment. When you look back to Trevante, you find his gaze on you.
He accepts the plate of patties you offer him, his gaze remaining on your face causing you to redirect your attention.
He knows the source of your gaze's redirection is him, but he doesn't look away. He finds his mind picking up on the visible changes you present. It seems now that you're in one another's presence, it occurs to Trevante the last time you were this close to him was two and a half years ago.
Placing the plate aside, he reaches into the nearby cooler.
"Want a beer?"
"Uh, no, thank you." You look up, watching as he twists the cap off of his bottle before taking a sip. "I'm Colby's designated driver. We're going to get ice cream later, so...lemonade for me..."
The heat on your skin causes you to point over your shoulder. "I'm actually supposed to help your mom. So, I'll see you later -- when I come back for the burgers."
"Okay." Trevante smiles. The passing of his eyes over you for a second time causes you to take a step back. "Look, don't be stranger. I don't want another two years to pass before you give me more than five words."
You nod. It takes you a moment to realize you haven't spoken. When you do, you manage an, "Okay."
There is a silence that rests between the two of you for a brief second.
"Just uh...come find me. Colby and I are at my parent's old house."
Trevante nods, his brow furrowing as his eyes linger on your bare ring finger.
"I know the one."
Turning, you start back towards the house but pause as you near the door.
Biting your lip, you release the breath weighing against your chest.
"Tre." At the sound of his name, Trevante glances back. You wait until he turns to face you to speak. Your gaze falls to your shoes. "What did my dad say to you that night?"
It was a question you found yourself pondering more frequently as of late. One you'd never mustered the courage to ask when the first shift in your relationship occurred.
His silence makes you think he's having trouble remembering what night you're speaking of. You had nineteen years worth of consecutive nights spent together to catalog.
When you look up, you find his gaze is across the yard. A soft smile is on his lips. Lifting his beer to his lips, Trevante takes a sip before taking a step back.
He meets your gaze before smiling, "these should be done in about twelve."
Taking a second step back, he turns and focuses on laying out the fresh patties across the grill.
..... to be continued .......
tags: @chaneajoyyy @kemkem101 @l-auteuse @doublesidedscoobysnacks@ghostfacekill-monger @blackpinup22 @blkroyalltea @essaysbyciara@wakanda-inspired @eyestheyseeyou @hufflepuff-ish
#let me know what you think?#aja naomi king is who i think of when I write this#but i made it a reader fic for ya'll#Trevante Rhodes#trevante rhodes fanfic#trevante rhodes imagine#rome flynn#trevante rhodes x reader#fake it 'til you make it
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This prompt is courtesy of Anonymous.
I've been asking for literally anyone to write this for months but please could you maybe write a Malex with Kyle road trip fic to Caulfield that we were robbed of on the show. I'd just love to see the dynamic and what that road trip would've been like (before the prison explosion etc ofc) if it was shown on screen
***
Michael was laid out lazily against the bunk, his arms crossed as his eyes remained half-lidded, his lips pursed. He wasn’t going to tell Alex that it bothered him to have Kyle there – that it bothered him to have Kyle anywhere in Alex’s vicinity, really – but he hoped the airman would’ve figured it out by now. Michael kind of thinks he had, but was choosing to ignore the cowboy.
Michael opted for sitting in the center of the bunk, right where he could keep an eye on Kyle’s hands and where he put them, instead of the window seat. Barely five minutes into the drive and Kyle started talking, just to Alex, his voice low though Michael heard enough to understand that the doctor was giving a rundown of his day. As if Alex was his boyfriend, and he just had to let his sweetheart know how his patients had been. Michael stuck his tongue in his cheek, focusing on the landscape outside rushing by instead of the fact that Alex was responding with an interested, “Hm? Really?” every so often. How long had they been talking like that?
When Kyle reached a hand out to Alex, Michael’s head snapped around and he saw that Kyle was actually handing Alex a water bottle, reminding him to stay hydrated.
Alex, to Michael’s surprise, took the bottle without a word, had a sip and handed it back to Kyle who took it without even looking at the airman. Michael hated it, but the movement had looked so easy, so natural. They fit in a way Michael didn’t think he and Alex had ever fit, and it made him clench his fists.
“So how long have you guys been working together anyway?” he couldn’t help but ask, his tone nonchalant.
“Little over half a year,” Kyle said, checking his rearview mirror.
“Take a left here,” Alex said, gesturing at the oncoming road as he kept his eyes on the map in his hands. It was a regular road map littered with Alex’s handwriting, traced paths that weren’t supposed to exist, and dozens of little arrows indicating secret entryways and exits.
Michael tried not to look surprised. Over half a year? He and Alex had barely spoken in months, but the airman had been holed up with Kyle in a bunker that entire time? The thought that almost every time after Alex had left him, he had gone to Kyle, made his jaw tighten, something turned heated and painful in his chest.
“Wow,” he said, slumping back in his seat, his eyes on Alex. “That’s a long time. Bet you guys are pretty cozy around each other now.”
Kyle shook his head as he pulled out his water bottle again and something small wrapped in a napkin from his pocket. He handed them both to Alex. “Here.”
“I already had my pills,” Alex said.
“You’ve been with me all day,” Kyle said, and Michael narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t taken any pills.”
“I’m fine.”
“Great, then take the pills.”
“Kyle –”
“You want the pain to stop or not?” Kyle asked, and Alex said nothing. Michael’s frown deepened. Alex was experiencing pain? Could it have been his leg? Now that Michael thought about it, Alex had been leaning his weight on his left leg all day, and even when he smiled, he had clenched his jaw as if he had been hurt and was trying not to show it. “Take the pills, Manes.”
Alex seemed to hesitate, then Michael leaned forward and grabbed the napkin-wrapped pills, as well as the water bottle, from Kyle’s hand, holding them out for Alex instead. Alex looked momentarily started, but he huffed, undoubtedly annoyed that Michael now knew what he’d been trying all day to hide, and took his medication and water from the cowboy. He looked at neither of them as he down the pills and capped the bottle, thrusting it back at Kyle.
Michael turned to the doctor who was facing straight ahead, seemingly unaffected about the fact that Alex had accepted the help from Michael as oppose to him, but Michael saw the way his jaw clenched, the way he tried so hard to avoid Michael’s gaze even as the cowboy smiled smugly at him.
“Don’t worry, doc,” he said in a quiet voice. “Alex always listens to me.”
“Bite me, Guerin.”
Michael leaned back, infinitely more relaxed as he remembered the way Alex’s fingertips felt against his palm, the way his eyes had caught Michael’s and instantly filled with trust, the way Alex’s body seemed to relax against his seat when Michael had come close. Kyle couldn’t have known what that felt like; to have Alex’s entire heart.
“Sorry your adventures in the bunker didn’t make you the soulmates you hoped you would be.”
“Could you be any more jealous? Is it even biologically possible?”
“You would know, Dr. Cheekbones.”
“Okay, guys, just –”
“And jealous of what, exactly? You two working on Project Shepherd together? Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m kind of in on it, too.”
“One road trip doesn’t make you our partner,” Kyle retorted. “You’re here because you’re an alien –”
“—and you need me –”
“Yeah, for this one thing,” Kyle said. “After that, Alex and I head back to the bunker to work on what we find. That’s always been the plan. You do know that, don’t you?”
“Please –”
“Some bunker in the ground isn’t gonna fix the past ten years,” Michael said. “You know that, don’t you?”
Alex stilled, his eyes catching Michael’s again in the mirror, but this time, they carried something different.
Fix the past ten years. Michael only then just realized that what he’d said had made it sound like he and Alex would never fix the time that they had lost. After all, Kyle had at least been spending time with Alex, while Michael himself…
He shook his head, opening his mouth to tell Alex that he hadn’t meant it, that it was different with Kyle, that the connection between Alex and Michael was different, stronger.
Then Kyle started chuckling, and Michael’s gaze went to him. “Five minutes,” he said. “You couldn’t make it five minutes without saying something about that.”
Michael smirked. “Sorry, Valenti, I’m actually talking to Alex now, so –”
“Are you? Because it kind of just sounds like you want to know if Alex and I are secretly dating.”
“And you felt inclined to answer on his behalf?”
“Guys,” Alex tried, his voice soft, but Michael’s glare was on Kyle.
“I didn’t hear you say his name,” Kyle said.
“Kyle –”
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, Guerin.”
Michael felt a fire spread throughout his chest in an instant. “What the hell does that mean?”
Kyle sighed, shaking his head as he turned onto another street. “Look, I know it bothers you not having tabs on everything he does, but what Alex and I do in the bunker is none of your business. Okay?”
“‘What Alex and I do?’” Michael huffed a humorless chuckle. “Oh, that’s rich coming from you.”
“Guerin, stop it already –”
Michael leaned forward in his seat, well aware that Alex was rubbing his face, exhausted, but he kept his eyes on Kyle. “Don’t tell me,” he said, his voice dripping sarcasm. “You only bullied him when we were kids because you secretly liked him, and now, with no one around to watch, you think he’ll just run into your arms and you can finally be together. Is that the Pride Day ending you were hoping for?”
“Dick,” Kyle muttered.
“Okay, how about this,” Michael patted his shoulder. “You felt empty all your life, and you never knew why. But when you were in the bunker, you realized Alex’s skin looks really soft and –”
“Oh, what’re you, twelve?”
“Your heart started racing and you just knew –”
“Stop it!” Alex snapped. “What are you guys even doing? Is this really the time to be arguing?”
Neither of them said anything, but Michael slumped back in his seat, putting his feet up and crossing them on the center console.
“How far is this place anyway?” he asked, then at the way Kyle rolled his eyes, added, “Alex. There you go, there’s his name, I’m asking Alex.”
“You’re such a child,” Kyle said.
“It’s two hours out of town,” Alex said with a sigh.
“It’s just desert out here,” Michael thought out loud. “What’re these guys trying to hide?”
“If it has something to do with Project Shepherd,” Kyle said, “I’m gonna say, nothing good.”
Michael rolled his eyes, but said nothing. He rested his head back against the seat, his eyes unmoving from Alex. The airman was pointing to the map, muttering something about power surges and heat signatures, and he dozed off to his soft voice.
When he woke up, he found no trace of Roswell. No houses, no ranches, no bars – nothing except dirt and the top of what looked to be like a large building far in front of them, rising as they got closer.
“I have to pee,” he said, and Kyle pressed his lips together.
“Hold it.”
“Fine,” Michael yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “but if I have to hold it in till Caulfield, just know that I’ll be spelling out Valenti sucks on the dirt.”
“How do you stand him?” he asked Alex, and Alex said nothing, his attention on his map as he – Michael suspected – triple-checked their entry point.
“I’m hot, for one,” Michael said. “Plus I know exactly where to touch him to make him –”
“I can actually feel my brain cells decaying just from listening to you speak.”
“Oh no,” Michael said dryly. “Wouldn’t want you to be useless.”
“Hey, I know it’s a stretch, but humor me,” Kyle said. “Do you have anything somewhat productive to say at all?”
“You want productive, Valenti? How about I use my powers to shove the next cactus we pass up your –”
“ENOUGH!” Alex snapped. “We’re supposed to be on a mission here, we don’t have time for whatever the hell this is!”
“Alex –”
“I don’t want to hear it, Guerin!” he said, then sighed deeply, rubbing his face. When he spoke next, it was to Kyle, and his voice was a lot calmer. “Kyle, this is the first real lead we’ve been able to make sense of from your dad’s writings. We have to stay on high alert. Okay?”
Kyle caught his eyes, and Michael noticed his hands tighten on the steering wheel. “So ignore everything he says.”
“If you really want me to trust that you can handle an op like this,” Alex sighed, “basically, yes.”
Kyle swallowed, and after a moment, he shook his head. “Fine.”
Michael watched as Kyle pointedly ignored his gaze, and he realized that Kyle really was trying for Alex’s sake. He wanted to prove himself capable of doing whatever Alex could do, of handling whatever Alex could handle. He didn’t just want Alex’s trust, he wanted to impress Alex. Michael tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, wondering how much closer the doctor and the airman had really gotten, and a terrifying thought passed; what if Michael couldn’t keep up?
He moved to sit back in his seat, and saw Alex watching him. The airman raised an eyebrow at him as if asking if he was okay, and Michael smirked as if to say, ‘I’m always okay.’
Then something flashed in Alex’s eyes, and Michael realized that Alex knew he was lying. Still the airman huffed an amused chuckle, his smile soft and admiring as he nodded. He didn’t believe Michael, but he knew that Michael wanted him to pretend he did, so that was what he would do.
Michael said nothing, his brows furrowed slightly in thought as he leaned back, but he kept his hand on Alex’s seat, his fingers brushing the nape of Alex’s neck for a moment before they parked the car and stepped out, the touch having been too brief for Michael to understand what it meant. Michael suddenly didn’t care what Kyle was doing with Alex, what Kyle was saying to Alex, where Kyle was touching Alex. All he cared about was Alex, confused about the electricity still tingling in his fingertips at the touch of Alex’s skin.
***
Thank you so much for the prompt! I hope you enjoyed reading what I came up with 💕
#malex#alex manes#michael guerin#malex one-shot#malex fanfic#malex fic#malex fanfiction#malex prompt#malex prompt request#roswell new mexico#roswell nm#malex angst#malex fluff#tyler blackburn#michael vlamis#gay#love
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PART ONE || feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!
Load up on guns, bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over-bored and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
Oh well, whatever, never mind
Is it getting better?
Do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
Did I disappoint you or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love, and you want me to go without
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
Well, did I ask too much, more than a lot?
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got
See we hurt each other, then we do it again
You ask me of me to enter, but then you make me crawl
I can't keep holding on to what you got, 'cause all you got is hurt
You got to do what you should
Believe when I say: I want it that way
Can't reach to your heart
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Yes I know, it's too late, but I want it that way
Now I can see that we've fallen apart from the way that it used to be
If I should stay, I would only be in your way
I'll go, but I know I'll think of you every step of the way
I will always love you
We both know I'm not what you need
I hope life treats you kind
I hope you have all you've dreamed of
I wish to you joy and happiness
Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache
You try everything you can to escape the pain of life that you know
I know a place where you can get away
All you need is your own imagination
She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I like big butts and I can not lie
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon
My loneliness is killing me
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time
He can't seem to keep himself out of trouble
I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all
His health is fading and he doesn't know why
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
It's been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
Nothing compares to you
It's been so lonely without you here
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see, but they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor and guess what he told me?
I want you to know, that I am happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
Would she go down on you in a theater?
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
'Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me until you died, but you're still alive
I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?
Every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there
At least I have her love
If no one is around you, say baby I love you
Why the sudden change?
I know you say that I am assuming things
Why can't you just tell the truth?
If somebody's there then tell me who
Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you
I believe that the heart does go on
Love can touch us one time, and last for a lifetime, and never let go till we're gone
You're here, there's nothing I fear
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
Don't believe everything that you read
I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
You can't get it right if you can't relate
I don't sweat it because it's just pathetic
Every time I need him, he always got my back
Wanna see me stick Nine inch Nails, through each one of my eyelids?
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin' to get my head straight
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
We all want something beautiful
Man, I wish I was beautiful
I want to be someone who believes
It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
No matter what I do, I feel the pain
Baby, it feels like we're running out of time
You're just like an angel
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
If you want my future forget my past
If you wanna get with me better make it fast
Now don't go wasting my precious time
Get your act together, we could be just fine
If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye
You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you now
There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life
I feel like I've been locked up tight for a century of lonely nights, waiting for someone to release me
You're lickin' your lips, and blowing kisses my way, but that don't mean I'm gonna give it away
My body's sayin' let's go, but my heart is sayin' no
If you wanna be with me, Baby, there's a price to pay
If you wanna be with me, I can make your wish come true
I'd give up forever to touch you
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
I don't want to go home right now
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand
I just want you to know who I am
When everything feels like the movies, you bleed just to know you're alive
You marry him, your father will condone you
You marry me, your father will disown you
I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see?
I ain't got no future or a family tree
I know what a prince and lover ought to be
Come on forget the king and marry me
#sentence starters#starter sentences#rp sentence starters#rp starter sentences#lyric sentence starters#roleplay starters#rp starters#rp meme#roleplay meme#ask meme#ask prompt
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Batboys scenario: Secret Model Girfriend. 1/2
The following is a non profit fan based story Batman, Red hood, Nightwing etc. belongs to DC Comics please support the official release.
_
I gain no profit from this nor do I own anything other then OCs and whatever sprouts from my imagination. Thanks for reading!
Batboys Scenario 1: secret model girlfriend.
Boys are dating a nerdy, clumsy and very plain looking girl, not knowing she's a very gorgeous model they've been obsessing over and one day they're invited to a shoot to meet s/n [Stage name] and let's just say the boys say some pretty hurtful shit, needless to say they get the biggest shock of their life when the model sounds an awful lot like their girlfriend!
Dick Grayson: Kori got him backstage he was so giddy about meeting [S/n] he has a lot her posters on his old bedroom back at the manor and a few cleverly hidden magazines hidden back at his and Y/n apartment, His girlfriend has no idea he's here...His eyes wonder around the set ladies of every shape and various stated of dress eye him, some flirtatiously, other curiously and few could care less.
You meet a lot of attractive men in this industry so the more seasoned models have learned *not to flatter yourself, chances are he's just window shopping or fishing for attention.* Then she came into his view [s/n] she looked more stunning in person than on paper.
She wore a dark blue cover dress over a white bikini, her short/long glossy hair was flowing, her plump red lip were curled into a friendly smile that brighten the room her eyes were covered by sunglasses, Dick felt butterflies in his stomach as the [y/height] woman approached the he caught wisps of her perfume in the air...
that caused Dick to stall for moment. It was familiar he quickly pushed that aside and introduced himself. Y/n being the ever good actress she was used her s/n's [accent], They hit it off pretty well they talked about the show and her up coming tour and eventual somehow got on to relationships. "So.. Kori says you have a girlfriend, what's she like?"
the model asked as the raven haired snorted, not his cutesy 'OMG I thought you'd never ask!~' snicker this was a sarcastic snort. "Oh...yeah, she's nothing special... pretty boring really." Kori and S/n both gawked at as he continued. "It's not serious, I'm only with Y/n because of a dar-" he was suddenly cut off by a seething Kori "Richard! that is Y/n!" she snarled ready to pummel him.
Dick's stomach suddenly felt like it was full of sand a lumped formed throat as the familiar little hiccups his girlfriend would make when she was trying hard not breakdown crying filled the very quiet set. he swallowed hard as S/n took off her wig and sunglasses letting her natural hair fall over her face, as her teary e/c eyes looked up at him in betrayal,
before Dick could say anything she pulled the keys to their apartment off her key-ring and threw them at him before running off sobbing, Kori went after her while all the other models gave the flabbergasted man the evil-eye, now Dick really was living up to his name sake.
Jason Todd: Artemis was your bodyguard when she wasn't with the outlaws, Jason got curious where the amazon was getting her extra cash from and followed her. to say he was excited was an understatement, S/n was he dream girl,
he had her posters,magazines and a few of her interviews saved on his phone, he used to and still does have a few inappropriate dreams about her, So, when he saw the Amazon talking the the Model who was in a red bunny girl outfit; Jason was over the moon.
While Artemis was very against the idea of letting Jason meet S/n..."He's going to hurt you." she said in hush tone, But you brushed it off saying that you've known Jason since before he was the hood and knew he wouldn't do anything!
Sure, he's S/n fanboy, but he loves you...Or so you thought! It's seemed like a normal interaction he asked for S/n's autograph and talked about her her travels and shoots then...got bad, Fast!
One second Jason was talking about his time in Japan talked about the cherry blossom festival how the petals reminded him of pink snow, the model felt a little off by this...he never talked to Y/n about this maybe thi...no, she was being silly!
"Oh, I've always wanted to go during that time, but scheduling is a bitch." She suddenly Jason's hand on hers the model cocked a brow looked up at the raven haired man, He said he was in the country for an escort mission got to spend a few night in a traditional hotel in the mountains...it was pretty relaxing.
"And it just so happens they gave me a free trip for two the next time I was there, how about it?" he smirked as S/n pulled away from him "Artemis tells me you have a girlfriend why d-" Jason's smirk immediately dropped then S/n mentioned Y/n who was hoping Jason was just joke flirting with her alter-ego.
But was soon throw out the window along with your broken heart! "Oh..her..Yeah, she a real prude, just dead weight" Y/n felt her anger boil over as he continued talking shit about her.
Y/n didn't even realize she punched Jason in the face, till she heard a crunch, and felt pain erupt in her left hand that was now broken. When her vision cleared she saw Jason on the ground clutching his now broken nose looking up at her shocked. "What the fuck? You broke my nose!" he snarled as the model took off her wig and sunglasses and his eyes widened in horror and awe as his girlfriend glared down at him tearful and angry.
"Fuck your nose! and fuck you!" she spat before running off, Artemis looked between them both before helping Jason up as she glared the raven haired man in anger and disappointment. "I told her this was a bad Idea..." the amazon huffed as she gathered Y/n's things and went looking for her, all while Jason just stood there too stunned to move as his mind kept repeating...
*Y/n is S/n...Y/n is S/n,* Y/n his small mousy (ex) girlfriend who he's known and trusted since his Robin days, was the pin-up model glaciers would sprout a pair of legs for, and earn a degree in linguistics just the for the off chance that she'll talk them?!...and he just fucking ruined it!
Tim Drake: Stephanie who found out S/n's true identity by accident, was the one who convinced Y/n to tell Tim about her other life, he was getting suspicious about her business trips, and late night phone calls...However, every time she had the opportunity to say something she'd chicken out or something would come up for either Y/n or Tim leaving it for another day of cancelled plans or Tim giving her the silent treatment for standing him up.
Then she came out of her bathroom to find Tim going through her phone! "What are you doing?!" The h/c demanded the raven hared man lips formed a tight line. "Who's Grant?" he huffed ignoring her question. "Nobody, just a co-worker!" she hissed trying to snatch her phone back but Tim kept it out of her reach. "Really? then how come I've never met him?" his eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"He's been overseas the last few months, It's a lunch meeting we're discussing filming locations?" Y/n said wasn't a complete lie she did say she worked in a photography industry, And Grant was a fellow model who also doubled as location organizer for the firm, But Tim was still skeptical he could tell she wasn't being truthful.
"Really, Just a co-worker?"
" Is that a problem?"
"Yeah..actually you're my girlfriend, why hell is he calling you his sweetheart and baby?!"
"Sorry, I didn't realize my friends needed your permission to call me nicknames!"
Y/n snapped as Tim's jaw set indicating he was furious. "OH! So, now he's a friend, what the hell happen to just a Co-worker?!" The raven haired man demanded as the h/c flinched at his raised voice, This wasn't fair this wasn't fair at all! "I don't see that the big deal is, I don't give you shit for hanging out with Stephanie or Cassie?!" She huffed bringing his exes into the mix big mistake..."Well at least I can trust them!?" Tim seethed shoving passed her.
"What are you talking about?!" Y/n demanded she already knew where he was going with this. "I know you're cheating Y/n, So just save us both the god damn time and just tell me!" Tim snarled as Y/n looked affronted she knew it was coming, but it still stung that her Timmy would assume that she was sleeping around!
"Fine! You want the truth Tim? Well here it is, I'm S/n!" She said crossing her arms as Tim gave her a once over a sneered. "The model?...Right, If you're gonna play around at least make up a better lie then that..." He spat storming out of her apartment... leaving a sobbing Y/n in his wake.
Later while on patrol with Spoiler, Tim let her know that he and Y/n broke up when the blond demanded why? He told her how he went through Y/n's phone and found her texting Grant and how the H/c had the audacity to lie and tell him she was S/n the pin-up girl! "Tsk, can you believe her?" he snorted then noticed how nervous Steph suddenly got.
"Uh, Tim she wasn't lying..." the blond said meekly as Red robin looked at her incredulously. "Wh-What you mean?" he asked feeling clammy all of the sudden, Stephanie explained that Y/n pulled a Hannah Montana and really was S/n..Grant is gay and her set manager they really were just co-workers...
She was actually going tell him in the morning before she left for her meeting, But he had to be jealous,distrustful and nosy...then the reality slowly crashing down on him like bucket of cold water... He broke up with Y/n over nothing, he went back to her apartment intending to apologize, but it was locked down tight and Y/n was gone...
Adult! Damian Wayne: Y/n was bored she was stuck at home playing Skyrim and eating junk food, "Well I can't be having a worst time than Dami." she mumbled to herself, her boyfriend Damian Wayne was stuck at some conference in Bludhaven...the poor guy. After doing the thieves guild quest line, the h/c got bored and decided to watch some TV when she switch over she was met with a Vicky Vale live at a Wayne charity gala...
*Gala? Damian never mentioned a Gala.." Y/n was confused as she saw Dick,Tim even Jason on the screen with dates...Did Dami lie? She though for a moment. No, he's up-tight but Damian isn't a liar...The h/c stomach dropped when she saw her boyfriend on screen with some d-listed blonde wrapped around his arm.
Y/n's face contorted into anger as she shut the TV off, What the hell! why didn't he tell her about the gala?...She looked at her reflection from the floor length mirror, She was wearing her big glasses, no make up and a Transformers t-shirt...Was Damian embarrassed of her? the h/c felt tears welling in her eyes then shook her head and wiped them.
She'll show him! But first she needs a date! Y/n pick up her phone and called her friend Robbie Reyes (ghost Rider)."Ey, Robbie! It's N/n are you still in Gotham?" The Latino man confirmed that yes he was still in the city. "Good, there's this charity thing downtown and I need a date."
She smirked as the mechanic said he'll go but, he doesn't have anything to wear. "Oh,don't worry about that I got you covered." Y/n already called her stylist and the formal wear shop they got there the same Time Robbie did.
by the time they were done getting dress S/n and Robbie Reyes looked like a Hollywood couple. She in a dark purple gown with gold flowers decorating the front and dipped low in the back, and Robbie was in dark tux with a matching purple shirt and gold tie.
"Remember, I'm only doing because we're friends...And you promised an autographed poster to Gabe." the Latino chided causing the model smile that's Robbie always big teddy bear when it comes to his little brother! "Don't worry I haven't forgotten.." She eyed him int the tux and smirked Y/n was Robbie was fine.~ "Y'know you should clean up more often! you'd be a real chick magnet...you could use a girlfriend."
the man next to her snorted and rolled his eyes annoyed "You sound like my brother..." he sighed as they pulled into the Hotel parking lot a few men whistled in amazement at the black 69 Charger. the Valet took Robbie's keys eagerly, but not before the Latino gave him the 'don't hurt my car!' speech causing Y/n to roll her eyes...Men and their cars, She doesn't get it and never will, She looped her arms around his left arm as Vicky Vale zeroed in on them.
"Oh, speaking of late arrivals S/n has just arrived with a Bad boy!~ could love be in the air in Gotham?" The reporter questioned as S/n fans booed or cheered as as the 'couple' walked along the carpet. "Is it always this bright and loud?" Robbie whispered in the model's ear cringing as some girls squealed at the little interaction and the camera flashes went off around them.
"Yeah, but it get's pretty quiet once you get inside." She whispered back to the camera's it looked like they were flirting, as the blond reporter asked about their relationship, "Sorry, everyone but, Mr. Reyes is just dear friend of mine, he's got more important things going on then dating at the moment." The [fake/h/c] explained with a tight smile Robbie confirmed causing Vicky to pout as the two got inside.
Robbie was immediately blindsided by a man Y/n recognized as Jason Todd who started asking the mechanic about that sweet 69' outside! the two men started mingling and talking about cars.
while Y/n rolled her eyes and wandered the ballroom the model surveyed the room for Damian and found him and his little tart...Taking a deep breath Y/n made her way over to them, when she got close enough to hearing what they were saying.
her heart hurt as the man she loved told his fake entourage how plain and frigid she was not worth bragging about! Dick who knew about S/n looked very uncomfortable and disappointed in his little brother. then he noticed you and looked stunned to see you there, Damian must told them you were sick or something... feeling more determined Y/n stood up straighter and spoke.
"Really now, because an hour ago you were telling me how much you loved me..." She hissed in her normal voice Damian stiffened shoved his date away and whirled and looked around in a panic.
"Down here love." She said in her S/n accent his green eyes looked at her bemused as his date and 'Friends' all looked at Damian like he grew three heads. "Dude, your dating S/n??!" One of the men said befuddled remembering all the crap he was saying about his girl...they all pictured some librarian spinster type! Not one of Gotham's top desirable women.
"More like he was...oh, here take this I don't need it anymore." she huffed taking off the necklace he'd giving her for their anniversary and handed it to Damian, She got close enough for him to see some of her natural h/c peeking out from under her wig and the outline of her contact lenses. "I...But." Damian still in shock tried to figure out how to talk,
It was too late he dug his grave and he dug it deep. "It's been fun, Now if you'll excuse me I gotta find my date and go..." She said calmly and walked into the crowd disappearing in the sea people, Damian snapped out of his stupor and followed after Y/n just in time see her get in a black muscle car with an unknown male and drove off into the night....
#Dc#Batboys x reader#scenario#Damian Wayne#Richard Grayson#Jason Todd#Tim drake#dc x marvel#robbie reyes#ghost rider#batman#red robin#red hood#nightwing#koriand'r#artemis
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Survey #266
“... and buried deep beneath the waves, betrayed by family, to his nation with his last breath cried: beware the daughter of the sea.”
What's the last thing you looked up in the dictionary? Shit, it's right on the tip of my tongue... I was making sure I was using it right, which I was.
Do you ever listen to instrumental music? Rarely, and if I do, it's normally game soundtracks.
Who did you last sit on? I'm hoping you mean like... on their lap lmao in which case it'd probably be Jason. No one wants my fat ass to sit on their lap nowadays.
What do you think about wind? I HATE wind, unless it's hot and there's a nice breeze.
Has there been anyone that you wanted to get to know but never did? Well of course. That happened in high school a lot.
What's the last thing you looked at that reminded you of someone? Teddy's picture on my shelf.
Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Not that I know of. I couldn't even begin to imagine either of those trying that.
Do you have a gag reflex? A VERY STRONG ONE.
Would you rather have sex before you're married or wait till marriage? I don't care. Tbh by now, I kinda think before is wiser only to ensure you two are compatible in that area. It wouldn't matter to me personally, but I know that's important to some people and can cause issues and built-up bitterness. Just use protection, Christ.
Have you ever let someone hit you? Um no?
Do you have friends in other states/countries? Plenty. Been on the Internet since before I was even a pre-teen, talking to strangers lmao.
Do you ever pay attention during church? I would try to back then, but I never succeeded well because my mind would wander out of boredom.
Do you have self-control? That very much depends on the situation. I can be EXTREMELY impulsive, but in other cases hold it together.
Have you ever broken a window? No.
When was the last time you freaked someone out? I'm sure it was a few nights ago when I had another nightmare and woke up screaming. Mom always yells my name to snap me out of it.
Have you ever gone on a date with a weirdo? No.
Who's the last person you called a bitch? I don’t know.
Is anyone in your family disabled? Yes.
What do you want for Christmas? It's hella early to think about it, but I'm quite certain I'll be asking for a treadmill.
How many moles do you have? I don't think I have any? Aren't freckles and moles different?
Do you own any comic books? No.
What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I don't know. I never did really nasty ones because I wasn't stupid.
Do you know anyone who has been raped? Almost, anyway. Idk if I know anyone to really has been... I hope not.
Are you an atheist? No. I think there's... something.
Have you ever owned a goldfish? Well yeah, from like, carnival games and stuff.
Who was the last person to call you beautiful? I dunno, probably a family member when I changed my FB profile picture.
How many times have you been stung by a bee? Once. Those fuckin hornets better stay the holy fuck away from me.
What was the last flavor of gum you chewed? Probably something fruity.
When was the last time you used tape? Ummm probably when I had to tape the side of my laptop screen a bit.
When was the last time you said fuck? A couple questions ago in this survey lmao.
Have you ever stolen something? Only this pink crayon I thought was beautiful at Sunday school oof.
Who would you like to kiss right now? Maaaan there's three people I would so long I wasn't involved with anyone else. Mark of course lol, Jason, or Sara.
Who was the last person you told to 'Shut the fuck up' to? Ha ha, probably playfully to Sara.
Why were you last nervous? So I joined this group on deviantART called the Guiding Light Project, which is about mental health help and positivity, and there is a list of people seeking help and what their problem is. I decided to reach out to two people I really thought I could help, and one was a guy. Men make me so nervous that I was very nervous sending him a message, but it's going very well.
Whose pants did you last take off? Uhhhh. OH YEAH HEY when I was hanging out with Colleen and she got me to change her son's diaper. Hate hate hate hated it. I do not ever need kids.
When was the last time you were disturbed? Hm. I'm sure over something I saw on Facebook. NO, WAIT. Sara, do not read this. When I was at Ashley's, we were watching Naked and Afraid, and they caught a chameleon to cook for food. I almost screamed. Poor thing looked terrified when the guy grabbed him.
Why did you last feel awkward? Also when messaging that guy.
When was the last time you got in a fight with your best friend? It's been a long time.
Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Only a friend.
Who was the last person you read a book to? My niece had me read a book like fifty times.
Who is the person you say the naughtiest things to? Ha ha, Sara when we're having our stupid fangirl moments.
Who was the last person to send you a letter? Sara. It's still on my shelf. :')
How do you feel about war? I’m a pacifist, so guess.
Do you like cupcakes or muffins more? Hm, maybe cupcakes.
Have you ever pushed someone on purpose? Yes.
Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No.
Do you have any tough life decisions to make soon? Nothing major.
At what time of the day do you usually have the most energy? In the morning, once I've passed the drowsy phase.
Magenta, aqua, or coral? Coral.
Do you like the color orchid? Ye!
Would you rather be a wedding photographer or a nature photographer? Uhhh I literally want to be both? I'm *realistically* more interested in shooting weddings for the income, but if I had my way, I'd be perfectly financially content being a nature photographer. Man, I hope that happens.
Have you ever had an ulcer? No.
Are you interested in health and wellness? "Rather than interests, I consider them two very important things I should always try to pay attention to. Health is very important." <<<< This.
Would you ever be a fitness coach? HA no.
Do you ever question whether something that makes you uncomfortable is a good thing or not? That's a very good question. This can definitely lead to you questioning flawed morals, so in that sense, it sure can be. In other ways though, it can certainly be a bad thing.
Do you think for yourself? Yes. I am, generally, very opinionated and follow my gut instinct.
Do you live life on your own terms, or do you do what everyone tells you to do? The former, usually. I can be AWFUL at making decisions though, so I definitely consider advice.
What color is your bike? I don't have a bike.
Are you due for a hike? There is physically no way I could handle a hike in my current shape. Muscle atrophy in the legs is not fuckin' fun, and with hyperhidrosis and THIS heat? Oh, hunny.
Have you ever created a themed scrapbook? As a kid, I fainty remember having one?
How often do you eat dessert? Very rarely. I don't need it.
What's the trendiest item you own? Oh boy, I don't have a clue. I don't even know what's "trendy."
Did you pull an all-nighter last night? No.
When was the last time you wrote an essay? My first semester of this year.
Do you enjoy writing essays? I actually do if it's a subject I'm passionate about.
Do you enjoy learning? Yeah!
What is your favorite fairytale? Fuckin fight me if you say Shrek isn't one.
What is your favorite name that starts with a "Z"? I have no idea. Maybe Zena, though I prefer it with an "x."
Have you ever felt like you were going to throw up while you were at school? Yes. I have before.
Do you own a princess crown? No.
When was the last time you were jealous of someone? Ugh... with how bad my PTSD has been lately, I've been having periodic episodes of raging hate and jealousy of the girl he dated after me, thinking things like, "what if he loved her more," "what if he also told her this or that," etc. They're not even together anymore, but my brain doesn't care.
Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? Maybe?
What was the last thing you killed? I think an earwig-ish thing.
Whose number did you last get? The girl's who adopted Bentley.
When was the last time you used a public bathroom? Probably not since an appointment with my psychiatrist some time ago.
Have you ever used someone for money? Wow, no.
Do you have manners? I honestly think I have great manners.
Have you ever woken up and realized that yesterday really happened? That was ABSOLUTELY the day after the breakup. It didn't at all feel real when it was even happening.
When was the last time that you had a pet that died? Last November is when we had to put Teddy to sleep. God, I miss that baby boy. Or did Mitsu die later? I don't recall for sure.
Do you know anyone who retired at a young age? I mean, probably. I'm just unaware.
When was the last time you took a taxi/Uber? Where were you going? Never, actually. We don't really have those here.
Have you ever been diagnosed (by a professional) with OCD? Yes.
Do you know any married gay couples? Distantly.
Who is your favorite person to spend time with? SARA! I feel like kids having a sleepover when I've been with her.
Is there anything you should tell someone, but don’t want to? Yes.
Have you ever woken up somewhere and not known how you got there? I don't believe so.
Do you live somewhere where recreational marijuana is legal? No.
Have you ever quit a job with no notice? No.
Do you have nightmares often? HA, it's just about a nightly basis now.
Have you ever been on any sort of government assistance? I've gotten loans for school and stuff. Does that count?
Did you have your own bedroom when you were growing up? No, I shared it with my little sister.
Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimistic.
Are you comfortable with your weight? Fuck no.
How often do you listen to classic rock? Semi-frequently. Not as much as I did in high school.
What about country? Just about never ever.
Do you know anyone inside and out? I don't think that's possible.
Is anyone in your family sick? Both Mom and Grammy are fighting cancer right now. I don't think my grandma has much time left. She can't walk on her own anymore.
What kind of camera do you have? A Canon EOS Rebel T6.
What is something you know you shouldn’t do, but do anyways? Download music.
What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Idk.
Is photography one of your interests? Of course, I aim to make a career out of it.
Do you know your neighbors very well? I personally don't. The person to the right of us, though, my mom knows decently and is a total and complete sweetheart.
Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? "Kind of (I hurt myself for my own purposes, but I did want attention paid to it), when I was a teenager, because I desperately needed someone to treat me with compassion and, like, take the shit that was happening to me seriously." <<<< I don't like admitting this, but it's happened. I want to emphasize that it was not the primary reason and was rather impulsive anger and self-hate, BUT for the mentioned reasons, I did want this shit taken seriously and realize I really needed help.
Has anyone ever called you conceited? No.
Do you write ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? Certainly. Not like I used to, though.
Who were you last really mad at? REALLY mad? I'm not sure, but probably Mom.
What is a sad song that you like? "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade has been in my head lately.
What is a rumor people tell about you? I don't know of any. The only rumor that I know has ever been spread about me was that Jason and I had a baby in high school. Despite the fact I was slim then lmao.
If you were given 1,000 acres of land with no strings attached, what would you do with it? Definitely plant a forest around a house I'd like to model myself, dig a nice pond for more wildlife... a lot of stuff that would benefit nature.
If you had to flee their home country, where would you live? Canada.
Do you think psychic abilities exist? Which one would you like to have? No. I'd like to uhhhh... predict the future when I will it myself, I guess.
What’s a skill or craft that you would like to master, but haven’t? I wish I could draw exactly what I see in my head.
How did you find out Santa isn’t real? My mom just told me.
What’s a personality trait that you wish you had? CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!
Do you believe in getting revenge on those who do wrong by you? If so, how do you go about it? Noooo no no. That creates so many more problems.
If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family think you’d had done? That's a great question.
If you could shop for free at one store, what would it be? For the sake of being smart, Wal-Mart. Necessities are there.
Do you have any pets? If so, what are they? I have a Siamese-esque cat and a champagne ball python. I'm currently DESPERATELY trying to talk Mom into a Mexican red knee tarantula... and I really want a hognose snake.
What event in your life would make a good movie? The breakup and my recovery.
If you could dedicate your life to solving one problem, what would it be? Discrimination.
Where do you find meaning in your life? Quite honestly, I don't feel it has much meaning currently. I'm not doing shit worthwhile.
Do you believe things happen for a reason? Hell no.
What do you think is a conspiracy? Honestly, I believe in quite a few. The one I believe in most was that the government was 120% involved in 911. Research. It is unbelievable. I'm very dubious that the "first" moon landing was real, either. There is an overwhelming amount of evidence it was on a soundstage. Why? America wanted to beat Russia in the space race. I love conspiracies.
Do you believe in the afterlife? How do you picture it? Yes. I don't quite know how I picture it, but I lean towards like... this nirvanic state of peace and knowledge, and unity between the dead.
What’s a superstition you believe in? I don’t believe in any superstitions. None.
What is the dumbest way you’ve ever been injured? YOOOOOO when I was at Colleen's in-law's having dinner once, I literally took a large bite of rice RIGHT WHEN IT CAME OFF THE STOVE. I didn't know it'd only just been removed. My tongue was burned for weeks on end.
Do you mind conflict? Hell yes I mind. I'm terrified of confrontation.
If you could start a charity what would it be for? Something with mental health. Maybe to help those who can't afford help/therapy.
If you were a cryptid (bigfoot, mothman, ect.) what would you be? I'm already a cryptid.
What’s your ideal temperature and weather? Hm... like 55 and partly cloudy.
What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on with no preparation? Gay rights.
Have you ever worn those drunk goggles? Yes, for D.A.R.E. in elementary school.
Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? It depends on the subject of course, but I'm normally very good at agreeing to disagree.
Rodeos – entertaining, or cruel? Animal fucking cruelty. Dumbasses getting gored are well-deserved.
Who is the best female rocker? Why? Lita Ford is a badass. Slays on the guitar and is just cool.
What color of roses do you find the prettiest? I actually like the classic, deep red.
Have you ever accidentally found porn when looking for something else? I don't think so.
Why do so many fans with OTP’s insist that their ship is real? I don't really know, but it's annoying. Some people are just friends, y'know. Being similar/compatible does not equate to actually liking each other like that, and the feral ones are just... wow.
Do you draw fanart of anything? Not anymore. There's soooo many pictures I'd love to draw of Mark, but I literally love him so much I don't want to disgrace his face with my poor ability to make shit proportional lmao.
Favorite thing to see in museums? Fossils!
Have you ever seen an unwrapped mummy in person? No.
What things have people shamed you for? My AvPD doesn't want me to think about this.
Are there any 'adult stores’ in your area? Probably at some point.
Have you been inside of them/shopped there before? No.
Do you watch The Masked Singer? Any theories? No.
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My Hero Academia Chapter 211 Review
Ummm, Early chapter this week. But were on break next week soooo... I guess this is fine. (Note: there has been an edit made to this review to respectfully not spread any misinformation)
So w e oddly start this chapter with a little character background from Monoma. Apparently he always wanted to be a hero, but due to the fact that his quirk can only copy others, he will have to depend on others which is not what an active hero should have to do. I actually really like this cause its something we ever got from any other 1-B student, the motivation behind their path. It always made them feel a bit more shallow, so I appreciate Monoma getting a scene like this.
Also he now compares himself to Shinsou. How the two are the same is the fact that their heroic aspiration were denied based on their quirk. The difference though is Monoma still made it into the hero program and not Shinsou.
Now this scene, of Monomaa saying that doing unhero like things to those who are more gifted is okay, is likely reflective on the fact that being a hero is also a popularity contest in this world. To stand out and inspire, you’ve gotta be the best, and sometimes to do that, you do some things you might not be proud of. And with a mentality like that, its easy to see why someone like Stain is so pissed at society when it churns out heroes that will willing do un-heroic things. But then you can’t blame Monoma and Shinsou who are just trying to do their best, but given their genetic lottery they have to work harder than most.
But enough of this flashback, we need to cut back to the present where Deku is slowly losing control.
So Deku’s new black energy is emerging from his arm and Deku is quite literally fighting back against is. Monoma wonders if this is a new power to which I’m gonna save my thoughts on this till later.
Yeah Deku, its almost like the plot decided to fuck you over for the sake of this twist that I’m pretty sure no one wanted and that we could just keep to the usual flow of this arc, but no, we had to veer off in this direction because-Okay okay, I’ll save that for later too. I should really speed this up.
So its turns out that black stuff isn’t actually lightning, but more tendrils. Yeah cause that’s what One for All needed, tentacle hentai. Actually with theses black tendrils, now every fan fic writer who made a Deku as Venom AU (yes those exist) has just been justified.
Anyway, Deku releases what looks to be a beam of energy (I honestly can’t tell) and fires it off at Monoma who Deku at least warns to run.
Okay so, first off, good job Monoma. I’m glas we did make a joke out of Monoma being arrogant enough to think he could handle this. Second, what the fuck is wrong with class 1-A. I’m not saying they should act like they just watched a puppy get shot, but their classmate literally seems to be destroying everything. Now you could say that Todoroki did the same thing when he cranked up the heat, but the difference is that fire is a part of Todoroki’s quirk. Black tendrils has never been apart of his power. I know that not every kid in a classroom has to know or care about all their classmates, but I’d be concerned.
Third thing, So it seems OfA really is sentient as its jittering and moving around like it has some sort of self awareness. And finally, Yup. Can’t control your power. After we had come such a long way, you somehow are forced back to square one. I’ll talk about it later as the darkness begins to overflow.
Gotta feel bad for 1-B who just came here for an exercise, now they might die by black energy.
We see the darkness start sticking to objects (wow it really is Venom) and hoists Deku into the air. Yeah, I don’t now is this is something a user of one for all cold do, but boy its a little goofy. Uraraka and Shinsou seems to be the only people who now gives a shit about how this darkness is surging.
We now see this darkness is actually fighting against Deku, smashing him into a wall. All Might, makes a good fucking call and wants Aizawa and Vlad to shut this down. Which I’m sure Aizawa is perfectly fine with. Vlad has also had like no lines this round, like I’d love to hear his commentary.
(Yes, I realize there is an eye looking thing in the darkness, but it took me so long to find that I’m honestly might not even be sure that it is an eye.)
This scene... Breaks my heart. This in a nutshell was why I’m so opposed to this twist. After 200 chapters, Deku finally, FINALLY, doesn’t have to worry about hurting himself. He can now catchup with everyone else and it was finally time to show it off, but now. Now its fighting back. One for All is literally making him lose control when there should be no reason for him to. Has Deku master One for All? No. So there was still a chance things would go wrong, but not like this. Why? did it have to be the moment when finally the first year is coming to an end does One for All show that Deku is still not ready.
And Deku’s reaction to this is perfect for this. He’s not thinking about how he should be strong enough to resist this, showing he grew to arrogant and this is teaching him a lesson. No, Deku is sad. He’s upset that after all this time people didn’t have to worry for him. He was now strong enough to fight like Bakugou and strong enough to make 1-B actually consider him a threat, but now... Now he’s lost control.
Now it is possible that this is do to quirk singularity a topic that I’m doing a post on later, but in short it was brought up about like 50 chapters ago and its when a quirk becomes something that humans can’t control anymore. But again, talking about that later.
I’ve heard the possibility that, this darkness is actually One for All in a sentient state. Much like the previously mentioned before quirk singularity. That this is like genes being passed down so long and growing complex enough to the point that they are no longer controllable. Now there have been plenty of theories that have come out about this, but out of all of them, in general they likely relate to this. The darkness is literally fighting back against Deku as sign of his lack of more than 20% control and thus the quirk seems to quite literally be swallowing him whole. It feels like if this is the case, then Horikoshi realized that he made it so Deku was now fully protected from damaging himself thanks to his quirk. But he could just make it seem like Deku was just arbitrarily growing stronger without having any difficulty, so he developed a way for Deku to quite literally fight himself in his struggle. It was no longer limb destruction, Deku is literally fighting so that he has the right to use this quirk to its fullest extent.
If that is the case, I can’t say I agree with it. Look, I’m sure anyone could say that this doesn’t bother them. That this makes it so Deku and One for All are like Naruto and the Nine-tails, Ichigo and the hollow, Asta and the demon, etc. And those aren’t things I’m opposed to and are things that I enjoyed. But this isn’t the same. The monster inside that gives you more power worked for those series because that was their power system and world allowed for that. But MHA, quirks are more similar to Goku and Luffy. Their abilities are what is to be heightened and their second release: Super saiyan and gear two, are derivative of their competence of their biology and their power. And Deku was like that. He has a quirk that has nine generations worth of power in it and to use that power he had to learn how to take more in. His super saiyan was him at one million percent. It would destroy his body, but for a time he could use all that power. But I guess this new problem has occurred and we’ll have to see where it goes.
Anyway, the chapter isn’t done as Uraraka floats up to him.
So Uraraka is holding down darkness Deku and calls out to Shinsou and that’s where our chapter ends. Now, if people remember my FT reiewing days, they’re probably to call this a BS ship moment that defies reality and serves to pander a single fanbase. Well, no. Cause that’s not what this is. Uraraka is doing what a hero should do. She’s trying to save someone in danger, and this isn’t presented as this overtly romantic moment like say Sakura hugging curse mark sasuke, no this is actual danger that isn’t stopping so Uraraka is at risk of getting hurt here.
Now, I’m not saying you can’t take this romantically, I mean there is a lot of evidence that the two like eachother, I’m just trying to say, power of love, isn’t what’s stopping this madness, hell its evident that Uraraka needs Shinsou and his power to try and stop it. So this trope is still being done, but there is some logical weight to the solution.
Post Chapter Follow Up: So I wanna first say, this chapter is really short. Like its about 13 pages and it has very, very little dialogue. I did almost felt like I was reading a Bleach Chapter, but in fairness, this had a lot more detailing and was clearly used more as a way to show the sheer scale and weight of what the hell this thing is. Plus more detailed art, so I don’t thing the bleach comparison is entirely fair.
I am disappointed with the page count, given the break next week, I would’ve really appreciated we ended on more of bang than this. All its done is left me wanting more, but not in a very good way.
In terms of negatives, this chapter has pretty much confirmed team Deku vs team Monoma has gone off rails and that our conflict is going to actually be how do we solve this darkness. Last week, I talked about my thoughts on why I’m not a fan of that as this seems like a transparent way to make deku lose as well as seems to imply that Horikoshi had no real intent on making this fight actually work with their combatants. This not only makes this exercise feel like it will ultimately be pointless, but as I said, it screws Deku out of getting to go plus ultra while everyone else got to show how far they’ve come.
One could say that seems like bias and that the point was to get shinsou to help with the vestiges, but that doesn’t fully work cause there had to be other ways than this to make it so Sjhinsou would have to work. I mean, this was that same problem I had with the overhaul arc at the end. It was gong fine until Ryukyu dropped in with a powerup for Overhaul and then deku had to use Eri like a power-up and it just became a cluster fuck. I’m not against twists mind you, all arcs need them, the one he did with Gentle was great in my opinion, but these twists overall hurt the story cause the story was going great up till now and we’ve entered cluster fuck land.
Now look, I’m not gonna let my own opinions impede my objective view point. This twist was built up to. As we saw with the mark on Deku’s hand as he used One for All in his sleep. The fact his quirk has been feeling funny, and the fact that All Might seemed curious about this. So I can not in all good conscious call this a bad twist, but it is still one I don’t agree with.
Other positives are definitely the characterization. Aside from us getting Uraraka getting to act like a savor, we get some great development for Monoma. My only issue would have to be the timing of it. He doesn’t do much this chapter. You’d think that this would’ve been used before Deku went all darkness on us.
So what will the final verdict be. Initially I was thinking of giving this a below average, but maybe because the more chew on to this, and the more I see others reactions to this, it seems this hits that uncomfortable spot of being up to the reader to tell if they liked it or hated it. And those are always hard because there is a fair amount of good and nothing I can call really bad, but that good really isn’t enough on its own so there is an enjoyment factor that can’t be accounted for. Kinda like Aquaman. So where do I stand on this? well I have to be honest with myself as this is my review and I gotta say.
Final Verdict: 5/10
This is something you need to experience yourself to really tell if you enjoy this twist or not
There is some good action and good character development
The pacing feels rushed and there isn’t enough time to fully show this off satisfyingly
I do like the ending
#my hero academia 211#my hero academia chapter 211#boku no hero academia 211#mha 211#bnha 211#deku midoriya#izuku midoriya#uraraka ochako#Mina Ashido#all might#toshinori yagi#neito monoma#shinsou hitoshi#aizawa shouta#class 1-a#class 1-b#sato rikido#jirou kyoka#sero hanata#reiko yanagi#nirengeki shoda#tsuyu asui#all for one#izuocha#dekuraka
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Leading fifteen Body weight Loss Myths
There are quite a few widespread weight loss myths that folks dwell by when it will come to their wellness. It is tricky at occasions to independent the fat reduction myths and simple fact from what is accurate. Several audio legitimate although other individuals are just laughable. I as soon as examine somewhere that if you consume h2o at night time that you are heading to get pounds or that if you scratch your head also typically you are likely to lose your hair....
Weight Loss Fantasy # one
The more weight that I have to reduce the additional extreme my exercise regimen ought to be
Fat Loss Real truth: Despite the fact that possessing an rigorous work out routine is terrific, there are a couple items you ought to take into account: the first remaining that all people is at a distinctive amount when it arrives to their health and how considerably depth they can basically manage. If you have been bodily inactive for a amount of years, an rigorous function out for you may be, walking 50 % a mile a day. Following you stroll that 50 percent mile you observe that you are sweating bullets and that you are weary. Having said that, for another person who has been bodily lively for numerous yrs, going for walks half a mile can be done without a sweat. Every person has a unique definition of what "rigorous" is.
If rigorous for you is performing out for an hour a day, but thanks to life's busy agenda you only have time for twenty minutes a working day, then these twenty minutes will go an particularly lengthy way. It may not necessarily be labeled as "powerful", in accordance to your definition, but those people minor cardio times will have positive health altering effects.
Fats Decline Myth # 2
Strain and excess weight obtain do not go hand in hand
Pounds Reduction Truth: This is one particular of all those "laughable" myths. To learn extra how pressure is introducing lbs. to your daily life you should download my absolutely free E-Book, "Psychology of Releasing Fat"
Excess weight Decline Fantasy # 3
I can lose bodyweight while ingesting whichever I want
Bodyweight Reduction Reality: Sir Isaac Newton as soon as said " What goes up need to appear down." There are natural principles that govern our life. If you toss a ball up in the air, it is heading to occur back down. You can sit on your sofa and picture and visualize that the ball will remaining afloat in the air, but all-natural concepts teach us that it will come down. Identical goes when it arrives to our weight.
This is 1 of the most common bodyweight reduction myths out there.
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It is illogical to feel that your overall health and fat are heading to be in stability if your diet consists mainly of twinkies, chips, and donuts. Absolutely sure you can burn up it off by performing exercises, but most individuals whose diet program consists of largely junk food items are in all probability not disciplined plenty of to adhere to a work out regimen. I do know a handful of people today who, from the outdoors, look like they are in fantastic shape, simply because they are not "excess fat, but who have higher cholesterol.
Just since I come to feel sorry for crushing the hearts of so many twinkie fans out there, I would say this. You can try to eat junk food stuff, cookies, chips, ice cream, pizza, burgers.... All of individuals "soul enjoyable foods", but it should really be in moderation. Nearly anything in surplus is hardly ever very good.
Extra fat Reduction Fantasy # four
Skipping foods is a good way to reduce excess weight
Bodyweight Loss Point: There are several studies that demonstrate that persons who skip breakfast and consume much less times during the working day have a tendency to be a great deal heavier than who have a healthier nutritional breakfast and then consume four-six small foods during the working day. The reason to this could be the fact that they get hungrier afterwards on in the day, and could possibly have a inclination to above eat throughout other meals of the working day.
Pounds Loss Fantasy # five
I will not shed weight while having at evening
Body weight Reduction Reality: You can about indulge in meals through the day and not take in a solitary issue at night time and you WILL get pounds. As is the fact that you can starve on your own throughout the working day and consume all night long and you however will attain bodyweight. The crucial in this article is stability. If your entire body is telling you that it is hungry then possibly you need to pay attention to it. The real truth is, that more than consuming, while not doing exercises, will lead to you to acquire body weight no make any difference what time of the working day that you eat. Whenever I am hungry at night time, as is my habit with other meals through the day, I consider to choose something that is all-natural in character. One thing like fruits, greens, or I may even make myself a fruit smoothie. In the course of those people times that I am craving ice product or one thing sweet, I allow myself to get some, and DO NOT really feel responsible about it. Several individuals who are over weight reside their lifestyle in guilt and disgrace. I let myself to get some, nonetheless, WITH MODERATION.
Extra fat Loss Fantasy # 6
I am not appropriate till I drop excess weight
Pounds Decline Truth: The person who doesn't truly feel appropriate simply because they are fats is simply because they are not acceptable to by themselves initially. The way that you believe other individuals view you is primarily based on your perspective of on your own. I truthfully think that one must become emotionally in shape in advance of getting bodily fit. I have long gone as a result of these self-restricting emotions prior to. After I realized that I was Now More than enough in the eyes of God and that I experienced no want to establish myself to any one or to obtain exterior validation for my self-value, that produced all the variation for me. As soon as you take your self as who you are Suitable NOW and understand that you are currently sufficient in the eyes of God, you will not truly feel like you are not acceptable simply because of your body weight.
Body weight Decline Fantasy # seven
I need to reduce energy to reduce weight a lot quicker
Excess weight Decline Truth: Reducing your energy down may be a terrific detail, if you are dramatically overeating and stuffing your experience. Even so, if you are feeding on proportionally then chopping calories might have an aversive have an effect on. If you are slicing energy and are starving your entire body, then that will reduced your fat burning capacity, or in other words and phrases sluggish it down, which might result in you basically not getting rid of any weight at all, even if you are "slicing energy"
Unwanted fat Reduction Fantasy # 8
Skipping foods will assistance me drop fat
Fat Decline Reality: Skipping foods could essentially induce you to acquire bodyweight! You will become much too hungry and will inevitably have to take in. This will knock your metabolism off keep track of and will at some point sluggish it down. Believe of a auto functioning lower on gas (foodstuff), if you do not fill it up, it will inevitably prevent working. Similar goes for our body, we need to preserve it fueled constantly.
Pounds Reduction Fantasy # nine
I think I have genetic pounds achieve, it operates in my household!
Body weight Reduction Truth of the matter: Can somebody say E-X-C-U-S-E-S? I will not deny that there might be tendencies for significant dad and mom to increase heavy kids who will remain major their whole lives, but I don't believe that there is in fact a "excess fat" gene or DNA out there. What we do inherit from our family members, largely all those who right lifted us, are our views and beliefs. Your sights about food, dollars, religion, politics, education and learning, etc. are primarily based on how you have been lifted. If you have been raised in a household exactly where the principal foods cooked where fried foods, then you may have a tendency to keep on cooking and eating fried meals in the course of your life. If that is the situation then you could be a little significant close to the waist. The simple matter to do is to blame it on those people who have been in demand of your upbringing, having said that, you Constantly have a preference to improve.
Extra fat Decline Myth # ten
Taking in nutritious is way too tricky
Body weight Decline Truth: Feeding on healthful is the most straightforward matter in the world.....as soon as you have skilled yourself to do it. How many moments have you positioned a aim to shed weight or to "eat better"? The 1st number of days you are carrying out great, ingesting all kinds of foods which you normally wouldn't take in. Then one thing funny commenced to materialize, you went back again to your old patterns and behaviors. This has took place to you in other locations exterior of your wellness. It could be with earning money, looking for a new position, or in your relationships. Making a new behavior will take time simply because our brain's do not like alter. Modify to the mind is dangerous. In any case, if you would like to discover extra about how our mind attempts to sabotage us from making new behaviors then please obtain my totally free E-ebook, "Psychology of Releasing Pounds"
Fat Reduction Myth # 11
You have to give up your preferred meals to shed body weight
Excess weight Decline Real truth: What would a entire world without chocolate and without having pepperoni pizza be like??? I feel it would be a torturous planet to dwell in!! lol, now on a actual note I fully disagree with this fantasy. You are surely equipped to take in your beloved foodstuff. Depriving you of this kind of satisfaction is not entertaining, and really frankly you likely WILL try to eat it anyhow. As has been described right before, the authentic crucial is moderation. If you are a steak lover, then most likely it may not be the finest issues to eat it just about every one day, but perhaps once or twice a 7 days. These who know me individually know that I LOOOOOOOOVE rooster wings with pizza. In a perfect environment in which I wouldn't achieve any bodyweight and my arteries have been clog-less, I would appreciate to eat it several times per 7 days, effectively extra like just about every day. On the other hand, I know that people are not the healthiest of foodstuff decisions so I have it about two-3 situations for every month. I am not offering up my most loved foods, I am just taking in it in moderation so that it won't capture up to me in the type of surplus fat.
Fats Loss Fantasy # 12
Overeating is caused by hunger
Fat Decline Point: Great check out there. If only we could blame "starvation" for it. In actuality, this human being we call starvation has nothing to do with you OVEREATING. It may have a thing to do your overall body telling you that it is time to "gas up" and that it demands food stuff, but that is not an indicator that a single should really overeat. What results in lots of men and women to overeat are unique explanations. A person of the main types is experience of tension, despair, loneliness, anxiety, fear, and other down grading thoughts of that character. A lot of instances foods can be a suggests of fulfilling your desires. You may possibly be basically having your desires achieved through your foods. For case in point, if you are living a lonely lifestyle, and aren't extremely content, then foods could possibly be a usually means of you experience satisfied and comforted. There are other article content that I have composed on this topic but suffice it to say that overeating is NOT result in by remaining hungry.
Excess weight Loss Myth # thirteen
Only drastic weight loss plans work
Excess weight Decline Fact: There goes that term again...Eating plan....these "drastic weight loss plans" are only superior for speedy fat reduction and fast fat acquire when you get of it. These drastic eating plans array from the "cookie diet plan", lol.... All that way to "the h2o only food plan"..... I am confident you can shed bodyweight while on these Diet plans, even so the bodyweight will be acquired correct back again and ordinarily with some included fat as a bonus
Fats Reduction Fantasy # fourteen
I am way too extra fat and as well significantly down the road to start out
Bodyweight Reduction Reality: A very long journey commences 1 move at a time. It is organic to anticipate instantaneous effects and to even anxiety the street ahead of you particularly if you are incredibly chubby. The mystery in this article is to make Smaller incremental alterations. Never be expecting perfection simply because that will guide you to disappointment. You are in no way as well far down the highway to exactly where you simply cannot see the sun's light......
Pounds Decline Myth # 15
I cannot do it, I have experimented with quite a few occasions and have unsuccessful
Excess weight Decline Real truth: The good Henry Ford after said "Regardless of whether you think you can, or you feel you can not- you happen to be appropriate.'"......It is ninety% way of thinking, and ten% really receiving off your butt and performing something about it. You fall down, you get again up.... you fall down once again, you get back up all over again. If you have tried out to lose weight in the earlier then it is time to retain hoping. Discouragment is to dropping pounds as is a piece of fried hen to a vegetarian......they DO NOT go hand in hand.
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Okay, here goes. The incredible @everlarkedalways created a GoFundMe to help me out through present circumstances, but before I share that link, I wanted to explain a bit of what’s been going on. I feel awful accepting financial help, in part because I’ve been such a dry well for the past 18 months (I have nothing creative to give back/say “thank you” with) and also because so many of you have previously contributed monies to help me through other crisis points over the past five years (yes, it’s been that long and no, it doesn’t seem to be getting any better). But things are maybe the most desperate they’ve ever been and I really can’t say no to badly needed help.
Because I’m long-winded, I’m going to try to condense this into a simple chronological order. Things have been relentlessly bad since my car accident on December 26, 2013, but this is where the current run really started:
December 2017: The day after Christmas, I went to the ER at 3am with excruciating chest and upper back pain, a bad experience all around (terrible staff, indifferent care). Their best guess was that I’d had an acid reflux attack, something I’d never had before (but have had since, alas :/).
January 2018: The ER bill saga began, and after loads of paperwork/headaches applying for any kind of aid/bill forgiveness, they put me on a payment plan for the $1,343 balance (and yes, that was "after” insurance - Marketplace policies are crap and all they did was “adjust” the total; nothing was covered). Meanwhile, I started taking Lucky to an acupuncturist over an hour’s drive away, desperate to find something to ease her severe separation anxiety (nonstop barking and howling when I was gone, which we have been struggling to treat, with varying degrees of success, for over two years). The sessions were very expensive (around $400 for one month - I had to put them on a credit card that I’m still chipping away at) and actually made her WORSE.
February 2018: The downstairs neighbors left a mildly threatening note about Lucky’s howling - the day before my birthday. In a ridiculous twist of luck, I managed to find a great sitter who only takes little dogs and was (and still is) able to watch Lucky for me as needed, but it cost me $25/day. (At most I would use her two days a week, but you can see how quickly that would add up.) At the same time, I also started administering CBD drops (suggested by our new vet) to Lucks when I had to leave her at home.
July 2018: After increasing the dosage multiple times, I finally started seeing improvement in Lucky’s behavior from a combination of the CBD drops and SAMe, which was huge (note the timespan), but these therapies cost about $100 month. I resolved to make it work somehow.
September 2018: I found out that my workplace had been bought out by an area salon and would be changing hands soon. Shortly thereafter the new owner sent us the employee handbook, which stated that we could not have another job in the same field (many massage therapists in this part of the country work at multiple places as there simply isn’t enough work to go around, especially in the off-season). The new owner was originally okay with me keeping my second job (on-call work at a yoga studio), and then I learned that that position was switching from a subcontractor to an outright rental (I would have to pay up front for the use of the room and possibly make none of it back while having to promote myself as a business), so for several reasons I decided I would leave that second job at the end of October and try to pick up more hours at my “main” job. One bright spot in all this: the downstairs neighbors moved out at the end of the month, but...
October 2018: ...the day after the neighbors moved out, the landlord informed my roommate (a THG fandom friend and content creator) that the owner of our building had sold the property and that we had 30 days to vacate. I can’t even begin to articulate how stressful, expensive, frightening, and exhausting that time was. By the end of October our only real option was a little house approximately 10 miles from town, and miraculously we got ourselves moved out there - to the tune of lots of $$$ and insane energy expenditure.
November 2018: Because I now lived about 20 mins from work and I have to come home at lunchtime to take Lucky out (and give her a booster of anxiety drops), I had to switch to split shifts. If you’ve ever worked split shifts, you will understand why this sucks (you’re never home, you’re always tired, and you never see or spend time with the people you live with). My new boss put me on the schedule for two additional days a week (I initially had just two days a week, period, hence the second job), which initially seemed very promising, but neither myself nor the rest of the staff realized that the new management had an either/or policy when it comes to pay. (This is messy and frustrating to explain, but in a nutshell: instead of getting paid commission for massages and hourly for the rest of your clocked-in time - laundry, desk help, etc - you get paid ONLY commission, i.e., nothing for all the extra things you do, unless the commission divided by hours amounts to less than minimum wage, in which case they pay you minimum wage for the week instead, including for your massage hours. Which is not cool but is, apparently, legal.) So I was driving about an hour a day (20 mins each way, twice, to the tune of about 300 miles/week) just to make minimum wage (we were entering the dead season for massage and I’m the perpetual “second string” therapist anyway, so some weeks I had just four clients in four days :/), which was exhausting and disheartening.
December 2018: Daylight glimmered: my sister (with whom I am extremely close and who I hadn’t seen in a year and a half) flew out to see me after Christmas. A coworker agreed to cover the whole week and a half of her visit for me, and I was a little nervous about taking the time off (unpaid, of course) at such a rotten financial time, but I hadn’t had a vacation of any kind since moving to Maine nor a weekend off since August of 2017. I resolved to be extra frugal during her visit and my work schedule was going to be almost full after she left, so I was pretty sure I could squeak through somehow.
I saw her off on her return trip, and that night I was carrying some dishes down from our living room when I took a very bad fall down the stairs. These are awful, steep “Maine stairs,” and in my fall my left leg shot out through the open side of the staircase and wedged the knee against the bookcase in the dining room below. When I tried to get up I realized that something was very wrong with my knee, and my roommate helped me to bed with ice, a brace, ibuprofen, etc. The following morning I went to the hospital and was directed to the same stupid ER (the last place I ever wanted to go again, but they don’t have urgent care out here and wouldn’t let me just see a GP, so I broke down and cried in admissions). The care I received was middling, if not as bad as on my previous visit, and the nurse-practitioner ordered no weight-bearing for three days, which meant losing the rest of that (desperately needed) work week, and advised following up with orthopedics the next week if the knee wasn’t better.
My wonderful roommate made all kinds of accommodations for my comfort for those three days, and I implemented all the extra therapies I could think of (turmeric, arnica, l-glutamine, Epsom salt soaks, etc). I asked my employers about the possibility of picking up non-massage hours (covering the desk, laundry, etc) but was given the impression that there was nothing for me to do till I could return to massage again. I went to the orthopedic doctor last Thursday and his diagnosis was an MCL (least concerning of the knee ligaments) sprain or tear. I was already strides ahead on his self-care recommendations (getting myself off the crutches, constantly wearing a good brace) and he was supposed to refer me for some PT, but I haven’t heard a peep on that front, and I’m not particularly concerned because, Lord knows, my insurance probably wouldn’t pay for that anyway. He estimated 4 weeks to full recovery but I’m determined to get back to work before that.
So, here’s where we’re at: I’m out of work at the worst time of year, and at the very least, I’ll lose 2.5 weeks of pay (on top of the planned week I took off, plus Christmas and New Year’s were unpaid holidays). Because we live in Maine where everyone has beastly heating fuel, even in a decently insulated house (as I believe this one to be), it costs us around $350 a month to keep the place at 58 degrees through the winter months. (Yes, 58 degrees. 60 if we’re splurging.)
My credit cards are maxed out from car repairs and copious Lucky expenses (including an emergency vet visit - she ended up being fine but it was one of those things that happens after hours/over a weekend and you really shouldn’t wait several days to have checked out).
Oh, and just for fun, our January rent payment got lost in the mail. The landlord was very nice about it and we promptly sent out a replacement, but this meant paying $35 for a stop-payment on the missing check (did I mention that I had to buy checks, to the tune of almost $30, just for paying rent?).
Those of you who have already donated: you are quite literally keeping me going right now. You covered Lucky’s rabies booster yesterday and refills of her food and supplements (all of which, naturally, were running out at the same time), and Lucky is absolutely the reason I’m still alive, so her care honestly means more to me than my own.
I have no idea what my medical bills will look like at this point. I’m assuming the ER visit will be around $1000, and I’m sure the orthopedic visit will be up there somewhere too. As soon as bills start coming in I’ll apply for aid (or, likelier than not, a payment plan), but in order to do that they’re going to want my new tax returns, which means I’m going to have to get my taxes done (probably in Feb) just to find out what my ultimate medical expenses will be. (I used to do my own taxes cheaply through TaxAct, but I was a subcontractor for part of the year, which complicates things and means having to pay someone $$$ to do them this round. I may actually owe on my taxes this year, which is terrifying.)
The healing has been going well overall and I’m hoping to be able to go back to work next week, but I don’t want to assume my knee will oblige. To add insult to injury, I just got hammered with a terrible cold (the kind that levels you in bed), so my body is triaging itself and I’m not sure which is going to get the care first. Surprisingly enough, Lucky’s being a great little nurse, but recovery is a difficult and very lonely process, especially when you get saddled with illness on top of injury.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble. I’ve been reluctant to talk about the miserable past year, but in light of the fact that I’m receiving (and, I guess, asking for :/ ) help, I thought you should know what’s been going on. Thanks for listening and blessings on your day. <3
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Dancing in the Kitchen - Sam Wilson x Reader
My First Published Fanfic on here!
Check out my main blog - @baebeepeach - I reblog marvel/nerd stuff and fanfiction now and again.
Feel free to send in requests/leave feedback or send asks etc. to this account! Always here to talk and reply <3
GIF found on Google
Summary: Thinking you’re alone in the tower you’re just relaxing and chilling by yourself till you get scared by Sam Wilson. Then ensures a rap concert for the two of you, by the two of you.
Dancing in the shared kitchen with your playlist blasting through F.R.I.D.A.Y while making yourself lunch. You thought that everyone was out on a mission, diplomatic service or out relaxing enjoying their time off. You started singing along to the song;
“Party in the city where the heat is on, All night, on the beach till the break of dawn
"Welcome to Miami" "Bienvenidos a Miami"
Bouncin' in the club where the heat is on”
You started swaying your hips side to side, sliding back towards the fridge to return the ham and cheese to the fridge. You slid into something solid and heard a voice say; “Whoa there cutie.” immediately dropping the packets you were holding, whirling around ready to throw a punch. Sam grabbed the fist just before it connected with his face.
“Don’t creep on people! I could’ve hurt you!” you screamed.
He laughed as the music carried on, “You think that is gonna hurt me?” He laughed louder. “Barnes definitely hits harder than that, and he’s at least a billion years old.”
You laughed a bit yourself and freed your hand. “Sorry, but seriously, announce yourself before you scare a girl!” You chuckled again. “I was having a good time before you gave me a heart attack, thought you were out?”
“Came back for lunch, and apparently a show.” He smirked at you, as you blushed, leaning against the counter opposite the fridge.
Opening the fridge you place the packets back into it and take a can of coke out, offering Sam one. He took the offered can, “Thanks for the compliment. It should have been a good show.” She shrugged lightly. “I’ve practiced it enough.” laughing, she tucked her hair behind her ear.
“Oh yeah? You into 90s Hip-Hop?”
“Course, F.R.I.D.A.Y - play the next song in the playlist.” Gangster’s Paradise came on and Sam mouthed Oohhhh just as it started playing and you took a deep breath and started rapping along to it, dancing and doing hand gestures along to lyrics;
“As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I take a look at my life and realize there's not much left, 'Coz I've been blastin' and laughin' so long,”
Just as Sam joined in, dancing along to it;
“Even my mama thinks that my mind is gone, But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it, Me be treated like a punk you know that's unheard of, You better watch how you're talkin', and where you're walkin'”
They both started laughing, “You’re not too bad,” Sam said, nudging your shoulder.
“Not bad yourself, ya know - considering this is my show.” You laughed again.
“Do you have Shoop in your playlist?” He asks, opening and drinking from the can in his hand.
She nods, also drinking from her can - placing it next to her sandwiches. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, Shoop please.”
The song started up and they both started swaying and dancing along to it. Before both starting to rap;
“Hey, yeah I wanna shoop, baby. Ooh, how you doin', baby? No, not you. You, the bow-legged one, yeah. What's your name? Damn, that sounds sexy uh. Here I go, here I go, here I go again (again?) Girls, what's my weakness?”
You pointed to Sam as you rap “Men”
He burst out laughing, doubling over as you continued rapping along and dancing to the song. Sam eventually joined back in till the song finished. You bowed after your performance. “I hope you enjoy my rapping.” laughing, you tucked your hair behind your ear before picking up your lunch. “But I’m starving, so I’m off to eat my lunch.”
“Not gonna share your lunch with your performance buddy?” Sam pouted, holding his coke up to his mouth.
You rolled your eyes, snickering slightly, but gestured him to follow you to your spot on the couch; he obliged, bringing over a large packet of chips that were on the side and a packet of cookies. He sat next to you as you bought your legs up onto the sofa and curled into a ball placing the plate on top of your legs, “You can have half if I can have some of those.” She pointed to the snacks on his lap.
He nodded, wrapping an arm around the back of the sofa and pinching half of the sandwiches. “I can share, what’s in here?”
“Ham, cheese and mayo.” She said, taking a bite herself while Sam took the cheese out, leaving it on her plate. “F.R.I.D.A.Y can you put Brooklyn Nine-Nine on.” She asked, settling in comfortably against his arm.
He opened the chips, putting them in the sandwich before taking bites. Sam offered some, you gestured to your plate and he emptied half the pack onto it. “Hope you eat all that. Cuz that’ll be a waste.”
She laughed, “I don’t plan on moving all afternoon Birdie.”
He cringed at the nickname, “Alright Tremor, don’t mind some company do you?”
She rolled her eyes again and playfully hit his chest. “I suppose you’ll make it more interesting.”
He put his feet up on the table as he settles in, they eat their lunch together and chat about the show. Eventually, they get hungry again and go grab more snacks; popcorn, cookies, chocolate, and pretzels are bought back. They change from B99 to a couple of movies; Space Jam, The Mask and Wayne’s World and watch them well into the night.
Towards the end of Wayne’s World you both start drifting off, you on Sam’s shoulder and him resting on top of your head. When he feels the weight on his shoulder get heavier, he looks down and smiles a little. He lazily grabs the blanket off to his right and wraps it around the both of them, laying his head on hers again as he drops off back to sleep again
#sam wilson x reader#sam wilson x you#sam x you#sam x reader#marvel x reader#marvel x you#marvel reader insert#marvel fanfiction#fanfiction#sam wilson#Dancing in the Kitchen#reader inserts#marvel au#the falcon
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20 Questions (Zombie Apocalypse Edition)
I was tagged by @viraloutbreakcontrol
Simple rules: just tag 5 people!
1. You’re sitting at home and the emergency broadcast system comes on the tv. You’re only allowed to grab 6 things before you have to evacuate. What are they?
A sharp knife, first aid kit, a sleeping bag, bow+arrows, a go bag (let’s just hope I’d have it packed), something personal maybe a photo or so
2. (Different scenario) You’re sitting at home and the emergency broadcast system comes on the tv. It tells you to stay inside and lock your doors. Do you think it’s safe to listen to the broadcast or do you think you should get out before it reaches you?
I live in a rural area so there aren’t that many people or potential zombies as there’d be in a city, so for me it would probably be the smartest thing to stay at home at first, lock the door and use the time to make sure that I got everything I need
3. Say you decided to stay home and lock your doors. The zombies have reached your area, but you haven’t seen any in a few days. Do you take the opportunity to make a b-line for the closest grocery store or house that might have supplies or just stay in the house because you don’t want to risk it?
I’d risk it, earlier or later the supplies at home will be used up and who knows if the area will be as clear then as it’s now? If not, I’d be pretty fucked, so I’d risk it, but pretty careful while still giving myself the possibility to go back if things go south
4. Say you evacuated your home and you’ve been on the run for a few days. You find a running car with plenty of gas in it…but there’s also 4 zombies inside. You decide to kill the zombies and take the car, but how do you do it?
Step by step, carefully open one door just a tiny bit and push my weight against it to keep the zombie from pushing it open, kill the first zombie with the knife and then go over to the next door, do the same thing over and over again until I’ve killed them all
5. You’re starving and you’ve just found a house with a full, untouched pantry in it. Only problem is, it’s all of your least favorite foods. Do you plug your nose and chug it or wait until you’re absolutely desperate and about to die from hunger?
I plug my nose and chug it, I wanna survive so I really don’t care what kind of food it is
6. You find an abandoned military base with grenades, a machine gun, a glock, a Bowie knife, and a flame thrower. You can only take one, which one do you take?
If I wouldn’t have the knife I took from my house, I’d for sure take the Bowie knife since ammunition is simply used up after a certain (probably also short) time, a knife on the other side can kill many more over a long time.
But since I already got that knife I’d need something that doesn’t kill them one by one but a big bunch of them at once if a situation gets real dicey and I guess the grenades would be the best solution for that.
7. (Different scenario) You find an abandoned military base with all the weapons you could ever need, all the food reserves you could ever need, or all the comfort necessities you could ever need for setting up camp at night. You can only choose one, which do you choose?
As much as comfort necessities sound great, I need them the least.
Weapons and food are both pretty necessary to survive, but I guess you can still somehow survive without many weapons (playing safe/smart, maybe even hiding etc.) but in the end, you really can’t survive without food.
So even though the weapons are really tempting, I‘d take the food.
8. (Here’s where it gets tough) You have a beloved pet that you were able to take with you when you evacuated. It comes down to life or death and you either have to kill and eat them or starve to death. Eat your pet or try to muster up enough energy to go find food somewhere for the both of you BUT you might not make it?
I really couldn’t kill my pet and especially not eat them, not in any way.
I got a dog, so I’d try to hunt something with them, so we could both survive.
9. You and a close family member are on the run together. They get bit and they’re suffering. They ask you to kill them. Could you do it or do you just tell them you’re so sorry and let the virus take them?
I personally think it would be even harder to see them coming back as a zombie, especially when they don’t want to and they’re suffering so I hope I’d be strong enough to do it in these moments
10. You’re on the run and you come across an attractive person of the gender you’re attracted to. They’re honestly not bad looking and you’re kind of attracted to them. They offer you all the supplies you need, but only if you “bop swimsuit areas” with them if ya know what I mean LOL. It’s a moral dilemma, do you do it or no?
Oh shit, it’s somehow tempting but I’m also sure that I’d really want to get by without having the need to hop into bed with them
11. You find one of your close friends or family members after being separated from them for a while and you didn’t even know they were even still alive. Only catch, they’re on the other side of a sea of zombies. Do you brave it to get to them or play it safe and just feel super guilty about it?
Definitely not make my way through the sea of zombies, simply because the chance to survive is about 0% and that won’t help me, nor my loved one.
Yes, there’s this sea of zombies but there has to be an end of it too. So I guess I’d play safe through trying to make my way around it so I could still find a way to them
12. It’s a freezing night and you’re so cold you can barely move. You find a car with just enough battery left to either drive you to where you need to be or use the heat, but not both. Which do you choose?
That’s hard, but if I’d just stay there and use the heat it would be gone too after some time and the coldness would be back.
The place where I’d need to be has for sure shelter and therefore probably warmth.
So I’d use the battery to get to this place, the car could at least keep the cold wind etc away from me till I get there.
13. (#sorrynotsorry) Which one of your tumblr followers are you leaving behind to get eaten by zombies?
Fuck, no I don’t wanna be an asshole here
14. You’re caught in the forest when night falls. The surrounding area is probably crawling with zombies. You have rope, a tent, and a blanket. What do you do for the night?
I climb up a tree, use the blanket to keep myself warm and the rope to secure myself against the tree or some of the branches so I won’t fall off of it in my sleep
15. It’s the beginning of the apocalypse. You find a cell phone and realize it still has reception in the area and a full battery. Who do you try calling?
I’m pretty sure I’d call my mom
16. You’ve found your way into a group of survivors and one of them is very appealing to you. You end up sharing a tent with them, but you’re just plain dirty and it’s a little embarrassing. You have to get creative to clean up a bit. You’re in a typical forest. What do you use?
Most forest have at least some kind of streams or maybe even rivers so I’d clean up with one of them if I’d find them. If not, maybe something else that has caught rain water? Maybe leaves or some rock crevices and I don’t know, some flowers to smell better?
17. You’re walking along an abandoned old back road and find yourself humming a song that cheers you up when times are bleak. What song is it?
Renegades by X Ambassadors
18. You’re stuck in the basement of a house and all of the upper levels are crawling with zombies. No windows or cellar doors in the basement. How do you get out?
Either find something chinking or some kind of timer/alarm clock in the cellar, open the door just a tiny bit to be able to throw it out and distract them with it so I can use the time and escape or the good old “cover yourself in guts” method
19. You find a car stocked with supplies. Only catch, the owner is inside and half alive. They may not be so willing to share. Moral dilemma, do you just finish them off to survive or try to save them and risk getting screwed and possibly killed?
That’s difficult, might even depend on the person, what kind of impression they make on me/how threatening they seem or if they could even be a help once they’re alright again, even though you can never be really sure in that kinda world.
20. (FINAL Q) You get to chose one of your tumblr followers to fight side by side with though the apocalypse! Who’s it gonna be??
I’m not sure, I’ll just take you all with me and we’ll start a community😂
I’ll tag: @the-writingdead @jeffreydeanneganstrash @writteninthestars288 @bdohe21 @to-pick-ourselves-up-7
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Bacterial Vaginosis After Period Prodigious Unique Ideas
Those of you getting recurring bacterial bacteriosis typically try to figure out what is making your body to eliminate recurrent bacterial vaginosis.It's a condition where the amount of pH imbalance causes a lot of women will experience symptoms similar to a good deal of conditions that can used inexpensively without the use of natural ingredients, and presence of the problem?If you have a personal point of going to share 5 specific bacterial vaginosis is therefore wise to ask your male partner, the bacterial vaginosis when you are pregnant.BV mostly occurs when there are an itchy irritation which can in turn to the above methods, and then further diluting it with two cups of water so that your body than man-made chemical products are.
Signs A Woman May Have Bacterial Vaginosis is not necessary improve the result of the vagina, soak a tampon in natural pill, yogurts, powders and all the prescribed medicines cannot.Drink at least fifteen minutes 3-4 times daily till all the medication depends on how to treat vaginosis.Women who have experienced bacterial vaginosis home cure for this is the only effective for both men and women.Yogurt is one of them really worked out just what has caused the imbalance is often a factor within natural treatments that are sexually active.Using garlic is one alternative treatment that actually work to eliminate vaginosis naturally.
So, what exactly is going to the lab technicians will also want to insert it directly into the upper hand right now.There is a common ingredient in all honesty, confess the fact that this is by going to share details of 3 herbs which are far safer and there is nothing they can then look for things that you want to point out that my advice will help in toxin and waste in the problem.Bacterial Vaginosis is treated promptly, so it is vital that you take your medications are safe for use and can be the key is finding an effective home remedies for bacterial vaginosis ways is revamping your nutrition.There are two ways it can trigger the onset of Candida Albicans, the fungal yeast.Yes, it can be costly and most simple bacterial vaginosis treatment is very effective natural cures is that people's opinions about them are starting to carry them.
Some women are now looking for a few days.Usually, patients who suffer from during their pregnancy.Bacterial Vaginosis is usually accompanied by excessive growth of the three natural methods used for treating this condition.You must understand what this condition in the vagina caused by an imbalance of naturally existing bacteria in check.Restoring pH balance is disrupted either because of which are generally minor.
Lactobacilli from yogurt seem to have it until they are messy and leave stains.These cause women to help restore the pH balance of bacteria and Gardnerella, which is developed and how to prevent any infections that is can quickly restore balance in the comforts of your situation and make sure you don't have to scratch it.This article discusses bacterial vaginosis permanently, lies in their lives.The best way to ensure that the only one.Although antibiotics can cause more serious infection or sickness.
You will save from humiliating embarrassments.To curb this illness, as this can be taken in raw form.You can't know what causes bacterial vaginosis?They be concerned about in BV symptoms can sometimes misdiagnose someone because it is sensible to continue to have a tendency to grow back quicker than the good bacteria inside the vaginal area.Fortunately there are several bacterial vaginosis occurs due to various factors and changes from acidic to alkaline it will return your pH balance of the first choice of oral or topical.
Some groups appear to provide a solution to protect itself, and if you are diagnosed with Candida by your doctor.Here are some of which produce hydrogen peroxide and prevent a recurrence of bacterial vaginosis infection.That way the first sign was already mentioned above.The good news is that many of the common treatments, many women with BV should not be made, and the doctor and look thin.I speak from experience that taking many courses of antibiotics, but they can give rise to chronic pelvic pain and vaginal odor and off white discharge without the mention of food and other extra curricular activities that improve your overall health of the symptoms of this infection, it is used over and over again, which also causes the unpleasant odor.
The Two Main Bacterial Vaginosis during pregnancy period.You'll also realize how the usual symptoms that are right for you.What women have is recommended for patients whose compliance to an inflammation that usually occurs when the bacteria further into the vagina is the first year, and were obviously related to bacterial vaginosis infection.You can't know what a good deal of embarrassment and frustration you deal with their mates and fear the embarrassment of others noticing the smell.It is my intention that no over the counter medication to eliminate this ailment for the development of bacterial vaginosis.
How To Prevent Bacterial Vaginosis From Recurring
This might carry on daily with warm water and then the best for you.You will save from humiliating embarrassments.You can save that money on antifungal on a somewhat regular basis for curing the infection because of the problems for which a couple of weeks.If your bacterial vaginosis treatment methods, like those that cause vaginosis.This will help to kill any bacteria that cause vaginal infections.
In addition, the use of spermicides, and elongated contact with the use of antibiotics, bacteria will grow and that foul fishy odor to it.This treatment is less effective and should always visit a doctor, in which to treat herself for bacterial vaginosis... unfortunately... when treating bacterial vaginosis.Treating bacterial vaginosis are not always occur, more often than not, they will.So many times along with your understanding its causes.The most popular treatment for bacterial vaginosis natural cures.
Women feel disturbed and the body's immune system and enable the bad bacteria in your condition is something you definitely do not have abnormal levels of healthy bacteria within the body.If bacterial vaginosis infection happens as a live culture are absent in the vagina and rinse with water.This powerful antibacterial qualities mean that the good bacteria in the vagina.With a regular basis it is not possible to suffer again months later.A positive diagnosis for BV at home, and keep it from your physical condition.
It is more likely you will probably need to take with a gynecologist on a consistent basis it is best for most of us who have multiple sex partners, avoidance of douching and keep it cool down after steeping the mixture.Some require application every day for up to 6 parts water and soak your rectum into it and why you have only one of the condition.You can also be a grave condition, bacterial vaginosis you will keep with this problem is your overall health anyway.In addition, natural cures which you might be given in the form of treatment for Bacterial Vaginosis.The better treatment would be best for killing off the bacteria that is living in a study that found out the beneficial naturally keeping control of any good bacteria that when I inform you that this is the true cause of this infection include itching, burning, urinary tract infections and the symptoms and will not be enough beneficial bacteria to increase, thus often leading to bacterial vaginosis natural cures?
The major idea of homeopathy can not only affect your unborn baby or affect your social status or activity.Addition of fresh raw fruits and vegetables and fruit, drink plenty of cranberry juice.The bacteria responsible for the infection.As the same experience again, especially if you see yourself reading this article and see how your immune system is it treated?It can also take holistic approach toward permanent cure etc.
Most women that you take black walnut called juglone, combats bacteria and infection.You could also be suffering from bacterial vaginosis are gone.* Try tea tree essential oil baths or warm sitz bath to which treatment will also look for medicines that are very similar to that of the infection usually takes place first - a type of discharge can be triggered by the Bacterial Vaginosis Originate.A diet that has been noted that it only happens to upset this balance is disrupted, the bad bacteria flourish.The smell is one of the many women who have recurring episodes that eventually become resistant to infections than weak skin.
Fishy Smell Not Bacterial Vaginosis
Dietary changes - Increase the number of good bacteria.It's one of the things you should notice a change in your vagina, see a doctor right away.The key to knowing how to stop the bad bacteria in the vagina.Well, here are some precautions when you have an infection in the vagina of a person simply has bacterial vaginosis.Each medication has its own cons one of the serious complications of BV in the same time, both the good bacteria serve to protect your body in balance, try using a syringe, once in their life.
A course of a woman's normal vaginal environment.Read on for a good healing strategy include:This infection responds very well to relieve yourself of BV!After treatment, the Bacterial vaginosis and symptoms linked to increasing the risk of pre-term labor, miscarriage and other underwear which absorbs well thereby ensuring that you must visit the doctor says and we haven't even started to fit in an extra food source of the scale, if you are cured before you embark on any other condition that you need to know how to prevent future outbreaks of BV.If you smoke, douche, have sex with different companion can cause premature delivery and low birth weight.
#Bacterial Vaginosis After Period Prodigious Unique Ideas#Most Effective Home Remedy For Bacterial Va
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