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musclesandhammering · 3 years

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Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

#antisylki #loki meta #kinda #loki series critical #loki series negativity #anti loki x sylvie #anti loki series #anti sylvie #frosty bby #loki deserved better #I don’t even like TVA!Loki tho so I guess it doesn’t matter with him lmao #tva loki #loki laufeyson

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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

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He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 1

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings - Angst, Physical Harm, Cursing, accused Cheating, Katsuki’s insecurities

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my first writing piece but this has been stuck in my mind since v-day is coming up so I had to get it out. Plz enjoy!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: Y/N is so busy around Valentine’s, her lack of attention towards her Pomeranian is causing him to freak out and do the worst of the worst

Love is in the air! The birds are singing, The breeze is blowing, the setting sun is shining, and the explosive teen is.....well, bruting.

Can you blame him though? Y/N’s been a little distant ever since February started. Even right now, instead of enjoying their time together in a quiet park, she’s staring down at her phone doing who knows what.

Why? Was he not good enough? Has she gotten tired of him? They’ve only been together for a little over a year. Is she talking to someon- no. Katsuki stopped himself from thinking like that. There’s no way his precious teddy bear would ever do that. Not only that, he was the best there is. Why would she even try to go?

“You dumbass. You’re missing this.” Bakugou sighed. “Huh? What? Missing what?” Y/N looked around looking for whatever “this” was until Bakugou grabbed her chin to force her to look him in the eyes. “THIS DUMBASS! US! You’re so focused on that dumb phone. Jeez, can’t a guy just get his girl’s attention.” Bakugou said dramatically.

It wasn’t that Y/N wasn’t giving him attention, it’s that it wasn’t the same. Yea she right there snuggled into his arm. And yea she was petting his hair just the way he liked. And YES, she was peppering his face with kisses from time to time. But it all felt off? Like only half her energy was put into the love and affection.

“Suki, aren’t u being a little dramatic. I’m right here with you baby. I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. Come here dummy.” And as Y/N pulls Bakugou in for a tighter hug all he can do is release a “hmph” while falling into it...until her phone went (ding!) once again. And she went to check it. Once again.

Bakugou was getting tired so he got up and suggested they’d head back to UA. Y/N only got up and began to walk beside him, hand in hand, while still checking her phone time to time. And Bakugou was getting sick of it

*Wtf is she doing on that piece of junk? What could be so important she would half ass our entire evening together? .....Could she possibly be talking to someone else?............no.* Bakugou let those negative thoughts die down as they continued their journey back.

——————————————————————————

A few days later

“COME ON!!” Bakugou screamed as he realeased a blast towards Kirishima. When Bakugou invited him to train, The red head initially thought it was to ...you know..TRAIN. But after some time, the blonde’s best friend began to see the bigger picture.

“Dude. What’s up with you man? We always go full on during training, but it’s not even like you’re trying to hit me. It feels like you’re just taking your anger out on me.” Kirishima said.

“Congrats on noticing shitty hair, I’m glad somebody’s noticing my damn mood.” Weirded out by his friend’s unusual openness, the red head continued to ask.

“So what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“But you just-“

“NOPE!”

Bakugou exclaimed as he began to gather his stuff to leave the training area. “BAKUGOU!” Kiri shouted. “WHAT!” “.......it’s Y/N isn’t it?”

Upon hearing that, the blonde turned to look at his best friend with this sad puppy dog look. And man, if Katsuki had doggy ears, everyone would see how low they’d go. His best friend didn’t need to see it though, he could tell those ears would be 6 ft under if they were actually there bc there’s nothing hiding Katsuki’s vulnerability when it comes to Y/N. As the two best friends go to sit on the bleachers, Bakugou takes a deep breath before saying his thoughts.

“I think Y/N is cheating on me.”

“................HUH???!!!!”

Kirishima went from “caring and considerate” to “WHATDIDHESAYYY” in seconds. Y/N L/N?? Cheating?? Ok. Y/N was one fiesty girl, and she definitely had sass, power, attitude, and a little mischief, but she also had kindness, compassion, consideration, and honesty flowing though her. Not to mention extreme loyalty. There’s no way.

“Look man, with all due respect, I think you’ve finally lost it.” The red head laughed. “I’m being serious shitty hair.” The blonde stated. “She’s been so distracted lately. She’s always with me but it’s like her mind is also somewhere else. And not to mention that damn phone she’s always on now. She can’t go 30 minutes without checking it at least twice. And not only that, when she does leave to do whatever, she’s gone for hours at a time! What’s a guy supposed to think with all of that?! I mean it’d make sense if she wanted to leave. I get it, I can get loud, and yell, and I get angry a lot but.. she knows I never mean it, right? I call her a dumbass like i do everyone else...ugh but she isn’t just everyone else, she’s my girlfriend and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.....SO WHY TF IS SHE CHEATIN-“ before the blonde could continue, his best friend cut him off.

“BAKUGOU” “WHAT??!!” “....talk to her.” Kirishima said. “What?” Bakugou asked. Kirishima continued. “Cheating is a real sensitive topic in a relationship. I don’t wanna give my opinion on something that could ruin something amazing. C’mon man, we both know Y/N isn’t like that but who am I to tell you what to do. I wanna help, I do, but I think it’s best if you go to her with all this. Honestly though, if you asked me, Y/N would be the last person I’d ever think of when it came to cheating on ANYTHING. Especially the guy she cares so much about.” And with that last sentence, Kirishima stood up from his spot and pat Bakugou on his shoulder before exiting.

With Bakugou left with nothing but his thoughts and Kirishima’s advice, he left and headed straight towards your room.

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“Shut up!” You excitingly screamed though the phone. “You really found the last part?”

“Yup, it only took about 6 different stores across the entire city.” Shinsou sarcastically replied. “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know and I appreciate it. Katsuki’s gonna love his gift!” You said.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you’ve been preparing only the best Valentine’s Day surprise for the best boyfriend in the world. You’ve been so busy planning your surprise that I guess you could say you haven’t been giving Katsuki the massive amount of attention he’s used to from you, but you can definitely say it’ll all be worth it when he sees one of his presents that you’ve been working on. A silencer for his gauntlet blasts that not only decreases the volume of his attacks, but also increases his attack power. You remember how Bakugou had vented about his attacks being too loud that they scare people, but when he tried to keep them quiet, the attack isn’t as powerful so saving can be quite difficult. He only spoke about it once, but you could see the look on his face whenever he was out using his quirk around civilians. So why not give him a device that’ll help with his loud little problem. Now were you a support class student who knew how to make support items? Hell no. But were you a loving girlfriend willing to give her man the best Valentine’s Day ever? Hell yeah.

The piece of gear would’ve been easier to make IF it weren’t for a pesky piece of the project getting destroyed by Shinsou after he made Denki electrocute himself while he was right next to your prototype on the table. So to make it up to you, Shinsou went all around town looking for the piece you needed to complete your support item for Katsuki. Finally, all pieces had come together.

“He better. That damn bastard doesn’t know how amazing his girlfriend is. Instead of ignoring his ass these past few weeks, you sent ME to get all this shit for you so you could keep your precious Pomeranian happy.” Shinsou said while rolling his baggy eyes.

As Bakugou approached the outside of your dorm room’s door, he heard your voice.

“You know, you’re so right. That Pomeranian is unaware of just exactly how amazing I am. I really could’ve left whenever but I stuck around.” You snorted. “Well I’m glad I had you with me through it all Shinsou.”

*Pomeranian? SHINSOU?!? Through IT ALL?!?!? YOU WERE WITH THAT PURPLE HAIRED, SLEEP DEPRIVED ASS MIND CONTROLLING FREAK?!?? AND YOU WERE WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME YOU’VE BEEN DATING BAKUGOU?!?*

Oh to say Katsuki was pissed was an understatement. He felt all these emotions hitting him all at once. Anger, Disgust, Pain, Betrayal. It all became too much for him before Katsuki ran away from your down with his bed down and silent tears hitting the floor. When he let himself fall to the floor in the privacy of his room he screamed into his hands. His first love, his first real relationship, his teddy bear betraying his love, loyalty, and trust for over an entire year. After hours of crying, Katsuki was able to pull himself into bed. He couldn’t even bring himself to shower even though he spent all that time in the gym with Kirishima. He just wanted to sleep to escape reality. As he looked at his phone, he saw 1 missed call from Y/N, and 1 text saying “Goodnight love💗💥!” Bakugou scoffed at the text. Figuring u must be texting Shinsou the same thing. As Bakugou placed his phone down, an evil thought came to mind. Ruin her.

Bakugou smirked to himself as he had this pyscho and sinister look on his face. He would ruin Y/N. They haven’t officially broken up yet, so he could hurt her just as she hurt him. And Bakugou wasn’t stupid or so he thought he’s aware Valentine’s is coming up, so why not break little Y/N L/N’s heart on a day dedicated to nothing but love and happiness. It’ll be the perfect revenge on a little satin like her. Bakugou finally turned on his side with an evil, satisfied smile, and fat tears in his eyes once more.

——————————————————————————

The next morning, Katsuki got up with a broken heart, but he figured if he wanted his plan to work, he had to fake this smile. Getting up, getting ready, and getting dressed was business as usual, but meeting up with Y/N in the morning was now off the schedule. Instead of going into her room to check on her like he usually does, he just went straight to breakfast and straight to class without speaking to anyone.

With Class 1-A seated and Mr.Aizawa at the head of the classroom, the students can finally start their first lesson of the day. Until, the door slid wide open. There stood an exhausted and quite frankly dishelved Y/N. “My apologies sensei. I was up late last night and overslept. Please forgive me.” Y/N said as she bowed her head in sorry. “Just take your seat L/N.” The tired eye teacher said.

As Y/N walked to her desk, she noticed Bakugou wouldn’t even glance her way. She was a little thrown off since it would be normal for him to at least give her a judgemental look for sleeping in, but no. Nothing.

Bakugou on the other hand was writhing in agony. Oh how he wanted to check on Y/N and make sure everything was fine, but that voice in the back of his head couldn’t help but tell him to ignore her since she’s a cheater. She may have been the girl he’s loved dearest, but she was also the one causing his heart to shatter.

After a few classes, Y/N tried to approach Bakugou several times, but each time he brushed her off. And when the bell finally rang for lunch, you can bet Katsuki was the first one out the door. Y/N followed him of course, in worry and concern.

“Babe! Baby! Katsuuu!!! KATSUKII!” Y/N whined for her boyfriend to at least look at her but once again. Nothing. Bakugou wanted to hug her and hold her tight but he couldn’t. Not after what she’s done. Right before Bakugou entered the cafeteria, Y/N pulled him aside and held onto his wrists.

“Baby? Hey, what’s up with you? I’ve been calling your name and trying to talk to you but you keep brushing me off. You also didn’t stop by this morning. Is something wrong, love?” Y/N was hoping for something. ANYTHING at this point. And it was like the gods heard her prayer because she definitely got....something. “My bad.” The blonde haired boy dryly replied. “....Oh, um, ok suki.” The poor girl just thought her dear boyfriend was having a bad day, so she just left it alone and let him go. But still, even on his worse days he would at least visit her in the mornings. As they sat down with the bakusquad, the entire table noticed how Bakugou sat up and moved across from Y/N after she chose to sit next to him like usual. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and Kirishima could already feel what had gone down. He at least knew his bro didn’t talk to his girl. Not manly at all.

——————————————————————————

Valentine’s Day

During lunch, Kirishima has finally decided to speak to Bakugou about this whole thing. He hasn’t been getting any updates since their time in the gym, so when it was just him and his best friend having lunch together, he went for it.

“Man what the hell is going on with you and Y/N? I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding her like crazy,” Kirishima said while stuffing his face, nervous about the answer. “I was right all along.” The blonde sadly spoke. “She’s been cheating on me since the start of our entire relationship. And with that baggy eyed freak from 1-B.”

Kirishima couldnt believe what he was hearing. He almost choked on his food. Y/N was actually cheating. I guess people don’t know people as well as he thought. “.....wow...I’m sorry man.” The red haired friend said. He was at a lost for words and didn’t know what else to say. *sigh* “don’t be. It all goes down tonight.” Bakugou said with a sad smile. “What do you mean?” His friend asked. The blonde looked at him right in his red eyes. “I’m breaking her heart tonight, on the one day of the year dedicated to love.”

Meanwhile

Instead of going to lunch, Y/N spent her time finishing up Katsuki’s surprise in his room. Yeah, he’s been having a bad past few days so why not bring him a smile with these amazing gifts on the day of love. Although Y/N didn’t really feel the love today (due to Katsuki again being so distant and ignoring her “good morning blasty💥💗!” And “Happy Valentine’s Day my love♥️!” Texts) she was determined to make sure Katsuki knew just exactly how much she loved him. She was almost done setting up in his room. Rose petals on the bed, Candles everywhere, 4 different gifts including his new support item made by you, his favorite meal is going to be set here on his table, and you and him together spending every loving second with each other. Y/N didn’t realize that because of her setup, she missed the entire rest of the day. “Meh, so worth it when I see the look on Suki’s face.” Tonight is going to be perfect.....or so you thought.

You didn’t expect to find Katsuki in your room, sitting on the edge of you bed waiting for you with his head hanging low and his shoulders slumped.

*maybe he has a surprise for me....? Yea that has to be it!* Y/N happily thought as she closed the door.

“Suki!! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Y/N said with all the love in her heart as she ran and jumped on the boy for a hug. But Bakugou didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He just glanced back up at her, giving her this cold stare. Y/N was too busy professing her undying love for her boyfriend to even notice his scary silence. “Suki I’m really glad it’s you who I have in my life,” the love sicken girl bashfully spoke while looking at the ground. “You make me so happy and I feel so blessed being able to spend my life with you in it. I really hope you know just how much I care and lov-“ Bakugou couldn’t listen to this bullshit anymore. He pushed Y/N off of him just before she could say those 3 words that would get him to break.

“Hey! Suki? Why would you do that?!” Y/N exclaimed while standing back up. “I hate you.” The blonde spoke coldly. As those words left his mouth, Y/N heart and world were falling apart. Her eyes went wide open and her jaw slightly dropped. As she was about to say something else, Katsuki cut her off with “I’m breaking up with your dumbass. Right here. Right now!” Bakugou yelled. Y/N was in shock. She felt hurt, pain, she was just feeling so broken.

As tears filled her eyes, she asked “w-why?” as she tried to reach out to him. “Why? WHY?!” Bakugou screamed as he stood up above her slapping her hand away. “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHY, Y/N. YOU’RE A FUCKING CHEATER, THATS WHY!” The blonde yelled in her face. Y/N couldn’t believe it. He thought she was cheating? Why would she even do that? She already has the best person in the world for her so why? “DONT EVEN GIVE ME THAT “it didn’t mean anything, Suki!” BULLSHIT. I DONT GIVE A FUCK, CUZ YOU’VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME AND PLAYING ME FOR A DAMN FOOL THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!” Bakugou went on as his voice began to crack while tears flowed down his porcelain face. “YOU LIED TO ME. I GAVE YOU MY ENTIRE BEING AND YOU FUCKING LIED. YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH, I CANT BELIEVE I EVER LOVED A SORRY EXCUSE OF A PERSON LIKE YOU. I HATE YOU SO DAMN MUCH, I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK I SAW IN YOU!” Y/N’s heart hit the ground. No actually, it went 6 ft under because after all that he’s said, her heart is dead. Broken. In agony. “Suki I-“ “DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT L/N.” Hearing him refer to her with her family name hit so hard. “KATSUKI PLEASE! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING I SWEA-“ as Y/N tried to reach out to him, he interrupted her again and pushed her hand away. “I SAID DONT CALL ME THAT!”

The blonde yelled, except this time....he didn’t only yell. The burning scent of smoke came into his nose and the loud explosion could be heard throughout the building. The product of what he just did came to him. He just attacked the love of his life. As much as Y/N hurt him, Katsuki still loved her with his everything. And the fact that he subconsciously attacked her broke him even more. Y/N’s screams of pain reached his ears, as he looked down and saw his precious teddy bear with a burned arm and fat tears on her face, crying in pain.

Bakugou ran down to her level to try and help her. “Y/N! Hey, hey teddy bear look I’m so-“ Y/N pushed him away before he could continue. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BAKUGOU?!” Ouch. His family name felt like poison coming from your tongue. “Princess, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ “SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK FOR ONCE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Y/N screamed as she stood up to face him. “I DIDNT FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU. WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT WHEN YOU’RE THE BEST DAMN THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME?!..ah!” Y/N was cut off by the stinging of her wound, and Bakugou couldn’t do anything but stare. Y/N grabbed onto her wound before continuing. “I love you Bakugou. I wouldn’t even dream about doing wrong by you. I thought I was a good girlfriend or at least a good person-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted “No! Y/N you are, I just-“ “If I am then what the hell made you even think of me so lowly? What the hell did I do to make you question my loyalty? What the hell did I do that was worthy of you burning my fucking arm?!” Y/N cried out.

Silence fell upon the room. It felt like hours before anybody said anything. Both people had heavy tears in their face now. One crying because he realized he was an idiot and harmed the girl who did nothing wrong, and One crying because she did nothing wrong but ended up being a villain in her loved one’s life. Y/N broke the silence with a scoff.

“You know what Suki?” Y/N said looking him in the eyes. “Yes teddy bear?” Bakugou quickly replied with wide, desperate eyes upon hearing the loving nickname, thinking they would move on from this horrible incident. “Get the fuck out.” Y/N said in a low voice. Bakugou was shocked. He knew he fucked up horribly but after realizing the truth, he can’t leave you! He loves you too damn much for that! “What? Y/N please listen to me, I’m sor-“ “I DONT GIVE A FUCK! Leave..please.” The sad girl cried. Bakugou grabbed onto her shoulders begging her to not end this. “Y/N please! Please princess! I’m so fucking sorry! I’m an idiot, I know, and I definitely don’t deserve you but please I can’t lose you.” Bakugou said with tears falling down his face. “Please don’t do this to us. Please don’t do this to me, I’m BEGGING YOU.” “Bakugou-“ The sad boy cut you off, shaking his head, “ NO ITS SUKI. YOUR SUKI. YOUR KATSUKI.......please teddy bear I need you.......h-here let me help yo-”

You harshly pushed the boy off of you and as he tried to desperately go back to you, you used your quirk to keep him at bay. “Bakugou Katsuki. I’m leaving this room since you won’t, and I won’t come back until I know you’re out of my room.” Y/N began as she looked at him with cold, sad eyes. “From now on, you won’t have to worry about this bitch because I’ll stay out of your life, I swear. Don’t look at me, don’t touch me, DONT EVEN TALK TO ME. Just leave me alone....we’re done.” And with that Y/N ran out of her room, and out of the building, needing to get away from the place for a little bit. She could deal with her wound later. She just needed to get away. Bakugou just stood there in sadness and shock. As much as he wanted to run after you, he figured he’d give you a little breather. You guys could fix things in the morning...right?

Bakugou waited an hour in your room waiting for you, but you were right. You really weren’t coming back until he left your private area. So that’s what he did. With a heavy heart, he picked himself up and dragged his feet back to his dorm. He looked like a mess. He knew he did. Messy hair, red swollen eyes, dry lips. His entire body screamed heartbroken. When he open the door, instant regret and love hit him at once. His room was covered with rose petals and flowers, there were candles everywhere, heart shaped balloons all around, he had 4 different boxes of gifts, and two plates of extra spicy curry was set on his table, obviously cold now. What caught his eye was that one of the gift boxes had a note attached to it. With tears in his eyes, he read it.

Hey Suki! It’s Valentine’s Day! I love you to the moon and back and so much more. There’s no words that are able to describe the way I feel about you. You drive me insane in all the right ways and I love it! Lol. I hope you like your Valentine’s Day surprise. I’ve been working for weeks on it, so I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. I know I’ve been kinda absent these past few days but I promise I’ll make it up to you love! Hopefully I can start with this gift that I’ve been working on. Enjoy your brand new grenade silencer! Made it myself just for you. There’s nothing else in the world like this. I love you Bakugou Katsuki!

(P.S. If Shinsou from 1-B gives you shit about it, it’s because I made him drag his ass everywhere to look for a missing part so I wouldn’t have to leave you so much)

XOXO, Your forever teddy bear <3

As he quickly opened the gift, he saw it. A silencer that would attach to his gauntlets to make the sound quieter and the blast even more powerful. It was incredible. You are incredible. He only ever mentioned the sound of his blasts once, and you listened and you fixed it.

Bakugou shook as tears began to fall onto the paper. He couldn’t believe it. Everything started coming together now. The reason you were so distracted was because you were setting this up for him. You were always on the phone because you were assembling pieces and ordering gifts for him. You weren’t cheating on him with Shinsou. You were making sure he could find something that you needed for him. Y/N L/N was truly the best girlfriend in the world. Scratch that, she is the best girlfriend in the world. No scratch that too, she’s just the best, period. And Bakugou’s idiotic self ruined everything for him. All because he couldn’t have a little faith in his teddy bear. As Katsuki cried and cried, he set everything aside.

He took the petals off his bed. He didn’t deserve it. He blew out the candles around his room. He didn’t deserve it. He popped the balloons, and ignored the food. He laid in bed with more tears than ever, and looked at the ceiling. He finally turned to his side to fall asleep, but not before grabbing the picture on his bedside nightstand. A picture of you and him. He remembers that picture oh so clearly. It was his birthday, and while he didn’t want to celebrate, you did everything in your power to make it the best one yet. And you did just that. Bakugou hugged that picture so tight, because he didn’t have you in his arms tonight. He didn’t think he would ever have you in his arms again. So Bakugou Katsuki continued to cry until he was asleep, escaping from the reality of him losing his love, his teddy bear, his princess, and his Y/N.

Bakugou Katsuki never lost, no. He’s always been ahead, always number one, always the best. He always won and achieved and nothing ever stopped him. Except this time, the only thing that stopped him and caused him to lose, was himself. He lost. He lost his everything. His world, his rock, his heart, his Y/N. He’s lost without her in his life, and at this point he thinks he’s lost at life. There was nothing that could fix him unless it was you coming back to him.

Bakugou Katsuki? He’s lost.

A/N: HOLY SHIT! That was my very first writing piece and it was just a Drabble of a thought I’ve been having. Sorry if it’s a little off and weird, I’m still new to writing but hopefully I’ll get better. This was NOT spell checked so my apologies for any mistakes. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Thx for the love!

#bakugou angst #bakugou oneshot #bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #my hero academia #my hero fanfic #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero x reader #bakugou x y/n #bhna bakugou #bakugo angst #bakugou fanfiction #bnha angst

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daisysliv · 3 years

Text

his face | daisy johnson

word count: 2958

pairing: daisy johnson x coulson daughter!reader

summary: in which you come back from a year in space to find a man wearing the face of your dead father

warnings: swearing, mentions of death, angst, fluff, this got a little too sad at the end for no reason

notes: it is edited but there might still be some mistakes. based off this request!! sorry it took so long to post but i really hope i did it justice because it's such a good concept.

library

aos bookshelf

It was a little after midnight when you found yourself roaming through the halls of the Zephyr. You felt tired but your mind was replaying the day you found out about your father dying. You had been so angry at the team for not telling you but you could understand that they didn’t tell you out of respect for your father because he apparently wanted to tell you himself when he was ready. You just wished they had the same amount of respect for you and told you. They should’ve told you when they realized he was just going to wait until he dropped dead for you to find out that he had been slowly dying since making a deal with Ghost Rider to stop Aida a little over two years ago.

Hell, you should’ve been informed even before that.

He was your dad and you had every right to know. You deserved to be the first to know but apparently your father, including the team, all thought differently on that matter.

Yeah, you had already been having a rough couple of months from traveling to the future where the world was destroyed, your girlfriend, Daisy Johnson, breaking up with you, and being sent into almost a two-week coma after the battle to travel back to your time and everything that’s been happening since but you could’ve handled it; probably not very well you could have. It still would’ve hurt like hell but couldn’t be any worse than the way you felt after finding out, betrayed and heartbroken.

You could still hear the words leaving Jemma’s mouth when she found you in the lab and spat out the words, Coulson is dying and has been since he made that deal with Ghost Rider so we could stop Aida! The blood in your veins had run cold and rushed to your ears when you heard those words.

Coulson and dying in the same sentence was something you, as his daughter, never wanted to hear. You had heard that sentence one before when the group known as the Avengers were finally formed but was quickly reassured that they could bring him back. You, being desperate to get him back because he was the only person you had, had agreed to it. From that moment on, you had always been scared of losing him again which is why you joined his hand-picked team.

When Jemma blurted out those words like they were vomit, you prayed you were dreaming but quickly realized that wasn’t the case. But instead of accepting the fact that he could be dying, you turned to the woman and mumbled, “You’re lying,”

Now you knew she would never lie to you but you didn’t want to believe her; you didn’t want to believe that he would keep something like that from you. He promised never to keep things from you so you hoped to whatever God existed that Jemma was fucking with you. But you were smart and you knew she wasn’t, not with the way she was looking at you and the fact that she was one of your best friends. The next emotion you felt denial was sadness and you rushed out of the lab, the biochemist following close behind, as you look for your father. You were about to check his room when you remember he hardly spent any time in there and turned in the direction of the control center.

Everything after that seemed to be a blur as emotions overwhelmed your senses. You could remember a few more things but thinking of them just made you sad all over again and you couldn’t handle that pain… not right now. Not while you were still in space looking for your best friend, Jemma’s husband, who was floating around in a ship somewhere with Enoch.

Standing in the pantry that was running low on food, you grabbed one of the small bags of chips and moved to sit at the table. You were so lost in your head that you didn't notice a particular brunette with purple highlights join you.

“Hey,”

“Oh, holy shit!” You jumped in fear, eyes wide and the bag of chips on the ground.

“Sorry,” Daisy smiled sheepishly. “Didn't mean to scare you. What are you doing up?”

“Couldn't sleep. Thinking about Dad.” You answered bending down to pick up the, luckily, unopened bag of chips. “I think I’m finally starting to understand why he didn’t want to tell me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean… he had his reasons and I’m finally getting it. Only took a year but better late than never, right?” You tore open the bag and popped a cool ranch Dorito into your mouth.

“Yeah, better late than never.” She let out a breathless chuckle, her eyes never straying from your face. Looking at the woman in front of you, you felt your heart swell and nearly jump out of your chest. The two of you had been together for almost three years but you swore that whenever you looked at her and saw her smile or laugh, you would fall in love with her all over again.

“I love you,” The inhuman blurted and you noticed her face scrunch up as she cringed at her sudden confession, despite being together for so long you had never said the three words that everyone craves to hear. “Sorry, that… that wasn’t meant to come out. I had it all planned on how I would tell you and that was not it but I guess since I just blurted it out might as well roll with-hmph!”

A smile, a real genuine one, broke out on your face and you surged forward, cupping her cheeks and pressed your lips to hers. She didn’t reciprocate at first, stunned by the sudden feel of lips on hers, but soon began to move her lips with yours after the shock wore off. Pulling away from her lips, you let your forehead rest on hers, a smile still tugging on your mouth.”I love you too. More than you could know. Without you, I probably wouldn’t have made it this far without my Dad.”

“Yes, you would’ve and you know why? Because you are the strongest person I know and you would've made it through even without me.”

You opened your mouth to say something but a voice you knew too well as Jemma’s came through the ship's comms, announcing she may have found Fitz. The two of you shared a look and ran towards mission control.

Arriving back at the lighthouse with Daisy after Fitzsimmons disappeared, you quickly found Mack and let him know the good and bad news. Passing one of the cells, you saw movement in the corner of your eyes and stopped to look inside, freezing when you saw who was sitting at the table.

No. It's not possible.

He's dead.

You received the message from May two weeks after departing for the search for Fitz saying that he was gone, you went to his funeral. It was an open casket. You said your goodbyes and your last I love you’s.

It wasn't possible. But you've seen crazier things so… so maybe. Just maybe it was him.

“No,” You mumbled and turned to face away from the glass. It wasn't him. It's not him. He's dead. He died and he wasn't coming back. Not this time. You could wish it was him but it wouldn’t come true, there was no miracle to bring him back this time. He was long gone and you had to accept it. Closing your eyes, you focused on your breathing for a few seconds and gathered your jumbled thoughts back together. Turning back around, you prepared yourself to not see him only to be met with his familiar bright blue eyes looking at you.

“What the fuck.”

Now you felt angry. Was this some sort of trick? You knew your friends wouldn't do this but that didn't mean that somebody else in the lighthouse wouldn't. Everyone here knew the pain you went through when he passed, you were locked in the lighthouse for weeks, your sobs were heard through the halls while you and May planned a funeral. So if somebody who knew how much pain you were in did this, you honestly believed they would never see the sun again.

Realizing your eyes were still on your dead father's lookalike, you quickly diverted them to someplace that wasn't him.

“Hey, there you are! Mack and Dais have been looking for you- Oh.” You turned to look at the owner of the voice, tears brimming, and raised an eyebrow.

“What is this?” You croaked. The anger you felt only moments ago fading away and turning into sadness. With being in space for the last year searching for Fitz, you hadn't taken a moment to realize just how much you missed him. “YOYO, why the fuck does this man have my dead father's face?” You snapped when she took too long to answer.

Elena looked at you for a moment before looking back at the man in the cell, letting out a puff of air. “We don't know. He showed up a few days ago and said his name is Sarge.”

“What’s he doing in here?”

“He robbed a couple of places and killed an agent. Took us a while just to capture him.” The woman explains, her voice carrying it's normal raspiness that you grew to love over the years. “We tried to get him to tell us who he really is but nothing. Claims that he's always been Sarge.”

“I've seen crazy shit the last year but this… this is the craziest. God, it's like he's alive again.”

“I know. May has been distraught through this whole thing; she's convinced that Coulson is in there.”

You rolled your eyes at the mention of the woman you made your grief seem irrelevant throughout the planning of his funeral. You loved her, you did, she made him happy and that's all you ever wanted but she didn't listen to anything you had told her to do. She didn't listen when you told her that you wanted to say his eulogy. May dismissed you at every turn, there was a point where she looked you in the eyes and said your opinions didn't matter. After she said that, you lost it and told her if she showed up at the funeral, you wouldn't hesitate to kick her ass.

“Yeah, well, she clearly has false hope. She was there during his final moments alive and she knows there is no way he's coming back this time.” You wiped your face clear of any tears that had been silently making their way down your cheek and glanced in the cell one last time. “Uhm… I'm gonna go find Daisy.”

“She's with Mack in his office.”

“Thank you.”

Pushing the office door open, you quickly made your presence known and plopped yourself into the chair next to Daisy.

“Hey, it's good to see you,” Mack spoke first, a smile tugging on his plump, chapped lips. “Tremors just filled me in on everything that's happened on the Zephyr the last few days.”

“YOYO just filled me in on what happened here. Thanks for the warning, big guy.” You couldn't hide the bite in your words.

“Little C,”

“Don't little C me right now, Mack. You have somebody who looks like my father’s locked up and you didn't think to send some type of message?”

“Wait, what?” You heard Daisy ask but you motioned for the director to explain.

“Over the last week, there have been robberies with unusual events so we tracked down the culprits and when we did, one of them killed an agent. May kept saying she saw Coulson so we reviewed the footage from the agent's camera and May was right. The only thing though, he claims his name is Sarge and…” You zoned out after that, not caring to hear the rest.

You were angry and sad and felt like the world was against you. You were getting better. You could think about him, you could talk about your favorite memories with him, you could look at pictures of him without the pain being nearly unbalanced and then this is thrown at you. You felt like you were gonna be sick.

A hand resting on your forearm snapped you out of your thoughts and you turned to see who it was, Daisy. “Let's go.”

You saw the unshed tears in her eyes and nodded, knowing that if you spoke you would break and you didn't want to do that in Mack’s presence. Standing from the chair, you followed Daisy out of the office and slipped your hand into hers.

“Dais, he looks exactly like him,” You nearly sobbed upon entering your room. “I thought it was him for a minute but I just knew it wasn't.”

“Come here.” The inhuman wraps you in her arms and you let the tears you've been suppressing for the last half hour fall. “It'll be alright.” She whispers, holding the back of your head in the crook of her neck with one hand while the other is wrapped around your waist.

“N-No, no, it won't. Daisy… that man is walking around wearing my dad's face and according to YOYO, May is fucking insane and thinks it's actually him. I can't… fuck, I can't do this.” You sobbed into her neck, tears wetting her skin and soaking her shirt.

“Baby, baby, hey, look at me.” You slowly lifted your head to look at the woman with brunette hair and purple highlights. “I know it's hard, I know, but you… you are so strong. You made it through this last year and I know you can continue to make it through. Plus, you know you don't have to stay here. You can take a vacation, not only do you deserve one but… but I know that if you stay here while he's here you won't be okay and you’ll relive your worst moments from last year.”

You nodded at her words, sniffling, and gave her a small, warm smile. “You're… you're right. I just don't know if I can go and take a vacation right now. I have a job to do and my feelings can't get in the way.”

“I know but baby, I can already see how it's affecting you.”

“I mean… it's not like I just saw a man with the same face as my dad who has been dead for a year.” You tried to joke as another sob forced its way from your throat. Daisy gave you a pointed stare while trying to suppress a grin but failed.

“Look at you trying to be funny when I'm being completely serious.”

“Yeah, well, you know me. I like to laugh through my pain, which, if I may add, is at ten right now. My whole world just fell apart at my feet after a year of trying to repair it, all that progress just gone.”

Daisy felt her heart drop to her stomach at your words and the smile fell from her lips. “It's not all gone.”

“It is! I feel like I did a year ago when he first died! I feel the need to lock myself away and push everyone I love away again!” You shouted, taking a few steps away from your girlfriend. “I feel like that broken girl who realized both her parents are dead and the anniversary of their deaths are only two days apart from each other. I feel sick and like, I lost everything again!”

“Y/N,”

“No! Nothing is… nothing is okay! I’m not okay and I can't pretend I am anymore. It hurts to breathe, it feels like acid being poured down my throat.” You were pacing at this point, tears falling rapidly, staining your cheeks. “Fuck!”

This couldn't be happening.

Everything was falling apart and you couldn't handle it.

You had to go.

You needed to leave.

“I… fuck, I have to… I have to go.” You turned to leave but Daisy was quick to grab your wrist to stop you from leaving.

“Don't you dare walk out. You did that once and I almost lost you.”

“It's too much, Daisy. I can't… I can't.” You repeated trying to free your wrist from the girl's grip but she didn't budge. “Let me go.”

“No, you aren't dealing with this by yourself. You locked yourself away last time then threw yourself into the search for Fitz and you didn't take of yourself which resulted in me almost losing you. I won't let it happen again. I lost my parents, some of my best friends, and the only father figure I ever really knew. I won't add you to that list.”

“Dais, I don't want you to watch me completely break.” You tried to pull away again only to notice she tightened her grip on you and pulled you closer.

“Well, too bad because I love you and I'm going to be there, right by your side, even when you break.” Her voice was gentle but her eyes held the seriousness of her words.

“I love you.” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around her waist, and said, “I might cry for the next few hours.”

“And that's okay. Let's lay down, love, so we don't end up on the floor.” Your laugh was muffled by the fabric of her shirt that you had burrowed your head in, and followed her to the bed you hadn't laid in, in months. “I love you too, by the way.”

You really didn't know how you got so lucky to be with her but you were glad you were.

notes: if you would like to request something from the prompt list, you can find it here, just be sure to add the numbers and if its angst or fluff! if you want to request something that is not on the list, go right ahead and send in the ask!

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danniburgh · 3 years

Text

As the trees miss the Autumn (Javier Peña x f!reader x OFC)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader x ofc

Summary: It was almost meant to be; Lia and you had spent six months together before meeting Javier and never felt like something was missing until he smirked towards you; The three of you really didn’t know exactly how it started, but you knew how it had ended.

Word count: +9.2k

Warnings: mild angst, OT3 SMUT, unprotected sex, p in v, fingering, oral, cum play. I made it gay, pregnancy. I think that’s it.

A/N: guys this is terribly self indulgent, i just wanna say that i loved writing this bc im super bi and i want a relationship like this. This one is dedicated to @mouthymandalorian just because i love her and i might wanna kiss her deeply

Masterlist // Read on ao3 // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

gif: @javier-pena

None of you really knew exactly how it started;

For Lia it was when she met you, in a tiny, dirty bar, hiding away from the men that wanted to take you out to dance, begging someone to save you from the claws of a crowded dance floor. She bought you a beer after the one you’d been nursing was gone as you enjoyed the attention of a not-so-older, gorgeous woman and after that she took your hand, got inside a cab with you, spent the ten-minute ride caressing your thigh over your skirt, welcomed you into her apartment and kissed you like a woman starving as soon as she closed the door

For you it was at the end of that whole long weekend you spent at her place, she had taught you to cook that potato omelet you liked so much the first time she cooked it for you, only wrapped in a bathrobe with her arms wrapped around your waist and her lips nibbling at your neck, you ate the almost burnt omelet sitting on her kitchen counter while she stood between your legs and right after you finished she ate you as a dessert.

For Javier it was when he met you at an empty bar that served the best chicken wings you or Lia could’ve ever had; he saw you laughing and holding hands from his seat on the bar while the bartender poured him the third whiskey of that night, he liked Lia’s hair and your laugh, the way she gripped your forearm with her lean fingers made him feel something he swore he wouldn’t be able to feel again; the way you leaned onto her to brush her cheek made him lick his lips in craving for that kind of intimacy, and when you and Lia both turned to see him at the same time, he knew he was screwed.

For the three of you it was when Lia had all but forced you to walk up to the handsome man with the mustache that sat on the bar, she had told him if he enjoyed the view and you asked him if he was alone: he answered yes to both questions. Two hours later, several chicken wings orders and a never ending chat, the three of you were in Javier's car and driving to his place while discussing the terms of what the three of you wanted to be a possible permanent agreement.

It was almost meant to be; Lia and you had spent six months together before meeting Javier and never felt like something was missing until he smirked towards you.

What the three of you started to build wasn’t always honey over pancakes; there’s was jealousy and possessiveness; Javier was a blunt man with a difficult job, several hours away from home and feeling like he should keep everything to himself; Lia was moody and controlling on her bad days, she knew what she wanted and how she wanted it and she knew how to get things, she and Javier clasped and crashed almost every day; you were more passive than them, quiet on your good days and loud on the bad ones, you had your own rituals and your own quirks, but there was this role that was implicitly assigned to you when that relationship started; you were to bring the three of you together.

But with the pass of time the only complicated thing left was sex; almost always between the three of you; counted times you had one of them only for you or they had themselves. You did it all together.

The three of you really didn’t know exactly how it started, but you knew how it had ended.

Two years into your relationship; after life had thrown at you some heavy rocks, after part of your families accepted the uncommon root of the love you shared, after sharing a living space and building a life together; Javier got transferred to Colombia.

The night he brought the news to you and Lia he was a different man, he looked ten years aged, tired and bewildered; it wasn’t like he didn’t ask for it, he did but out of commitment to his office; he really didn’t want to go to a foreign country to fight a war you and Lia had convinced him was not his to fight; but the wars are never fair to the desires of the people and he received the transfer papers and a work visa. When he found out he had a week to pack his life in two suitcases and say goodbye to his family; his dad, Lia and you.

And even though he had never really said he loved either of you out loud; as he preferred to show you, the day Lia and you went to drop him at the airport he hugged each one tightly, he whispered against your ears how much he loved you and how grateful he was that you had made space for him in your lives, he kissed you both like a man starved; not caring about the few glances you three got as you said your goodbyes and after the second call on the airport speakers for the passengers with destination to Bogotá, Colombia, Lia and you saw him disappear through the boarding gate.

So you returned to a home that felt empty without his broad body present; his cologne still lingered in the space and the smell of the man you slept wrapped around for two years made you break as Lia held you; the night he left, neither of you slept.

At first he called two or three times a week; he really tried to be there for both, asking about your days, trying to tell you both about his; but life has a way to show you who really is in charge. Life has its own plans and so his workload was heavier and your lives got busier, so his calls eventually stopped making the phone ring.

You missed him; missed him like the stars missed the bright light of the moon when it was new; Lia missed him like the trees missed the leaves they lost during fall; Javier missed you like the fire missed the oxygen it needed to survive; it was a miserable feeling that he tried to drown in his own ways, always trying to get his ways to be shaped as Lia or you: but it was never enough.

Javier got to a point where he felt pure and green envy towards the both of you because you still had each other: in the years you had shared together he got to feel like and addition and not a part of something whole only a few times and only in the beginning; neither you nor Lia ever made him feel like he didn’t fit or he wasn’t as much yours as you were his. But he was alone in a country he never knew and he only knew a variant of the language of, he was tired and some nights he felt cold and scared like when he was a child and he could only think of the warmness of your bodies that he should’ve never left behind.

And so a year passed, and then another one did; if it wasn’t because of the few phone calls you two gave him, on christmas, on his birthday, on yours, on the times you two felt like it was too much and you just needed to hear his voice and you forced him to stay on the phone until he was practically falling asleep while talking; he could’ve sworn he would’ve already forgotten the sweet and sour sound of your voices.

If it wasn’t because of the pictures you sent him with the few letters you wrote him, some of you together, some of you smiling into the camera; some of you kissing so he wouldn’t forget he was still yours even if he was thousands of miles away; he could’ve sworn he would’ve forgotten your faces, or the color of your hair and Lia’s green eyes, or the shape or your bodies, or the color or your pretty pussies as one of you spread it open with your fingers and snapped a polaroid of it all wet and leaky for you and him.

He was actually grateful for the obscene amount of nude pics you two had sent him; your naked bodies were the last thing he wanted to forget about you.

Neither you nor Lia ever expected him to send something back; you still had the comfort of each other’s bodies, and you never forbid Javier from finding comfort in another person; you wanted him to be as happy as he could be in a place that seemed even god had forsaken, but that didn’t mean you didn’t miss him.

You missed him until you couldn’t anymore.

“Babe.” Lia whispered in your ear one night; the room still smelled like sex and you and her and the absence of Javier’s essence.

“Yeah?” you answered, shifting on your side to face her, both of you sleeping in the middle of the bed, right where Javier used to sleep.

“What if we go see Javi?” she whispered again, you frowned.

“Baby,” you scoffed softly, you could see in the darkness and by the very few moonlight that entered the room the way she rolled her eyes, “he told us we shouldn’t.”

“Yeah, I know,” she let out, frustrated, you reached to her and pressed her against you, leaving a kiss on her cheek, she sighed “I miss him.”

You said nothing, nodding a few times so she could be sure you agreed. Lia knew you missed him too, missed him like crazy.

Lia’s hand brushed softly through the skin of your naked hip and she left a feathery kiss on your lips.

“I wanna see him,” she whispered out, pouting, through the darkness you saw her eyes begging you for it, you shook your head softly; Lia let out another sigh and leaned towards you to lick at your lower lip, her hand sliding to the apex of your thighs and her lean fingers found immediately your clit, you gasped “let’s go see him,” she cooed on your mouth as her fingers brushed your slick folds “let’s go see our boy.”

“Not fair,” you let out on a moan when her fingers slid inside your cunt and she pressed into you softly “you’re playing dirty, Li.” she smiled against the skin of your chin and scissored her fingers inside you, you gasped again.

“Please, baby, he misses us.” she whispered as her thumb circled your clit, she pumped her fingers inside you and she left soft kisses on your jaw just like Javier used to do.

The coil that she had built inside your belly broke and you only could whisper his name.

Lia huffed a smile and brought her fingers to her mouth as you recovered from the orgasm she made you feel.

“Call Chucho in the morning,” you panted out, “ask him if he wants us to take something with us.”

Lia smiled at you and cupped your face to kiss you deeply.

“He’s gonna be so mad.” Lia said with a smile as you walked into Houston Intercontinental Airport with one suitcase each and holding hands. You scoffed and rolled your eyes at her.

“First, he's gonna fuck us and then he will send us back, just you wait.” you let out on a low voice and Lia cackled.

“A’right baby, turn on your lying, please.” Lia said as you walked out of the plane into the gate’s doors, you gripped her hand tightly and then let her go as you walked towards the immigration booths; the almost three-hour flight was spent with you trying to come up with something to tell the immigration agents besides we are here to visit our boyfriend, who is a fed; that was the first thing Chucho told you not to do.

After talking to one agent each you got the free pass into the country and Lia didn’t wait to be far away from them to gasp in relief.

“I’m so happy Javi forced spanish onto us,” she let out, grabbing your hand again, heading towards the doors, you chuckled. “I don’t wanna know how much harder it would be without at least being able to say Hola and Vine a conocer Colombia.”

The afternoon air in Bogotá was considerably colder than it was in Houston, which made Lia shiver, and you reached for the piece of paper you had scribbled Javier’s address onto and had shoved inside your pants as Lia called for a taxi with her not so lady-like whistle.

A cab parked in front of you and Lia turned on her mean face; the one she used when she knew certain situations could turn sideways quickly, and the one she started using when Javier was no longer walking next to either of you; the driver helped with your suitcases and you got inside the car, you reached for Lia’s hand and rested the entanglement of fingers on your lap.

“I’m nervous.” you muttered, Lia chuckled in agreement.

Javier ran out of the office with Steve tailing him almost at the same speed.

“Jav, what the fuck is going on?” Steve asked again, louder than when he saw him stamping the phone back on its cradle and let out a chain of curses in both english and spanish.

Javier didn’t answer, he didn't even acknowledge Steve as his partner’s heavy steps echoed his own while he sprinted out of the embassy building and towards his truck.

Javier stopped hearing Steve’s steps when he reached for his keys in his pocket and jumped inside his Bronco.

“Fuck!” Javier let out as he maneuvered the steering wheel, backed up the truck and eyed Steve standing on the embassy steps, completely flabbergasted out of the corner of his eye.

Steve saw the truck racing out of the parking lot with an angry Javier driving like crazy, as he frowned, wondering what Javier's dad told his partner that made him run out like there was a fire.

“Are you sure is this one?” Lia asked once the cab drove away, you nodded and walked towards the building steps.

“What I’m not sure of is if he’s even here.” you muttered out, chuckling, Lia shook her head with a smile and walked next to you, she opened the building door and you walked in; it smelled somewhat dampy and enclosed, nothing unbearable but it was certainly different, there was no elevator and according to the address you and Lia wrote on the envelopes when you sent him stuff, his apartment was on the third floor.

Lia sighed behind you when you took in the building's silence and you nodded your head towards the stairs.

“Let’s go.” you winked at her and stretched your hand so she could take it.

Going up the stairs with a semi-heavy suitcase in one hand and your girlfriend in the other wasn't easy, but when you reached the third floor all the discomfort left your body and the feeling that settled inside you was a mix between nervousness and excitement.

Lia pulled you forward to walk towards one of the two doors on that floor and you raised your hand to knock.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you heard behind you the recognizable and unmistakable hard, deep, very angry voice of Javier.

Lia frowned next to you, and you let your mouth curl into a smile.

Javier felt his chest throb and his heart stop when he saw you turn around to face him at the same time.

“Javi!” you gasped out and let go of Lia’s hand and your suitcase, running up to where he was standing and throwing yourself to him.

Javier’s hands landed on your waist and your arms curled around his neck, he shivered slightly when he felt you inhaling him; he smelled as he always did, cigarette, that cologne you never learned the name of, musk and his sweet, sweaty body essence.

Lia glared at him, Javier felt it deep inside him, she was waiting for him to do something to you, anything.

“What are you doing here?” he asked again, Lia dropped her shoulders in half-relief, half-exhaustion.

“We came to see you,” you replied, your voice muffled by the fabric of his jacket, your face still buried on his shoulder, he gripped your body closer to him “aren’t you happy to see us?” you whispered.

“Yes, Javi, aren’t you?” Lia let out, leaving her own suitcase, walking up to him and reaching to cup his face, Javier relaxed slightly and leaned onto her soft touch, leaning down so she could leave a kiss on his jaw.

“Why did you come?” he whispered as he looked into her green gaze, Lia narrowed her eyes.

“Because you didn't bother to visit, Javier,” Lia admonished, her hardened voice caused you to wake up from the day slumber that breathing in Javier’s smell gave you and you turned on his shoulder to see her, “we missed you like crazy.”

“Lia,” he let go of you to cup her face, she frowned when you let out a soft yelp and slapped his arms away, “baby.” Javier let out.

“Don’t you dare.” she tightened her jaw, you bit your lip and sensed the unaddressed tension between them.

“Javi.” you called him, knowing that if you didn’t try to stop him Lia would snap at him.

“Amelia.” Javier called out again, and Lia let out a soft growl.

“Javi.” you called again, your voice growing desperate.

“I told you not to come.” he told her, Lia pushed him back, he didn’t move.

“Yet you didn’t visit.” she let out, you closed your eyes and breathed in, Javier crossed his arms on his chest.

“I couldn’t, you know it,” he said, “I needed to stay here, have you forgotten?” you noticed how Lia’s face grew red and, as if it happened in slow motion, she raised her hand and clasped her palm across his face.

Javier didn’t move, but he rubbed his cheek with his own hand and glared at her.

“Lia!” you walked towards them and planted your feet so your body acted as a barrier between them both.

“That’s why you came?” Javier muttered out behind you “to slap me?”

“No, asshole!” she let out, deflating in front of you, you wanted nothing more but to reach to her, knowing how hard it was for her sometimes to just let go and let herself feel things “we love you, we missed you!”

“Lia, stop.” you begged, getting in her line of view, she dropped her shoulders and nodded at you.

“Fine.” she mouthed to you and crossed her arms on her chest, the same gesture she had acquired from Javier.

“And you,” you turned around to face Javier, whose hand had dropped back to his side, “don’t be so hard on us, it’s been two years.” you whispered to him, Javier put his hands on his hips and leaned to the side, you saw him chew the inside of his cheek and his eyes fell to the floor.

“Baby,” he muttered without looking at you, stretching his hand so you could take it, you did, his hand wrapped yours almost entirely and you felt a bolt of energy going through your spine “it’s so dangerous down here…” he let out in a sigh, you felt Lia’s presence behind you.

“It’s been two years.” you repeated, gripping the hold on his hand, he nodded and looked at you and then at Lia.

“Say you missed us, idiot.” Lia let out, wrapping her arms around your waist and resting her chin on your shoulder, Javier smirked and shook his head.

Before he could open his mouth to say a thing, a heavy set of rushed steps was heard behind Javier.

“Jav?” he dropped your hand and turned around, you narrowed your eyes as you looked at the tall, blonde man standing at the edge of the stairs.

“Who is this?” Lia asked lowly in your ear and you shrugged.

“Isn’t his partner blonde?” you recalled from your calls with Javier. Lia shrugged back.

“Hey,” Javier let out, not moving from his position in the middle of the hallway, the man looked at both of you and eyed thoughtfully the grip Lia had on your body “you followed me?” Javier asked.

“No, but what the hell, man?” he spat in a southern accent that made you smile, “you just rushed out like a crazy person.”

“Murph, please…” Javier sighed towards him.

“It is his partner.” you murmured to Lia, remembering the name Javier had told you once he talked to you about the new man that was being sent to work with him.

“You Murphy?” Lia asked, you bit your lips to hide your smile and elbowed her softly.

“Yeah…” he replied hesitantly. Javier turned to look at the both of you and closed his eyes, you let your lips curl in a smile, “I’m sorry, do I know you?” he narrowed his blue eyes at you and Lia.

“No.” Javier spat, you feigned a gasp and Lia released you from her hold.

“Javier didn’t tell you about us?” Lia asked and you looked at the way Javier hid his eyes from the man. Murphy tilted his head.

“Oh…” he let out softly “this’ your girls?” the man pointed at you both with two fingers and Javier sighed.

“Yes, yes we are,” Lia let out, walking towards him, she raised her hand, he shook it and she introduced you to him with your full name “and I’m Amelia.”

“Well, nice to meet you’both.” he let out with a soft, tight-lipped smile as he walked to shake your hand.

“Shut the fuck up, Steve,” Javier let out, making you chuckle “how did you know?” he growled out.

“Jav, you may not mention them,” he said, walking towards Javier “but when you speak to’em you light up, man, you’re not the only man that notices stuff,” Steve slapped Javier’s arm a few times and turned to the both of you, “welcome to Colombia, I guess.” he shrugged with a charming smile and walked to the opposite direction, pulled out a set of keys and opened the door right in front of Javier’s apartment, disappearing behind it with a nod towards you and Lia.

“I like him.” you said, Lia snorted.

“Shut up.” Javier muttered, mimicking Steve’s actions and opening his door, he walked in with yours and Lia’s suitcases and left the door open for you.

“I told you he’d be mad.” Lia said, walking inside the apartment, you let out a soft chuckle.

“I think we can make him feel better in no time.” you responded, walking behind her and closing the door.

You and Lia inspectioned the apartment carefully, looking at what he had done with an embassy issued place in the last two years he had been living there, you liked just how him it was.

Javier had left the suitcases near a door that you figured lead to the room, Lia grunted at the cheesy dog portrait in one of the walls but smiled softly at the full bar that had its place near the window in the living room.

“Can you please explain to me now why you came?” Javier sat on the leather loveseat, holding his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms.

“We told you, Javi…” Lia said, walking to sit next to him, you did the same, sitting on his other side, the couch was comfortable but you liked the one you had in Houston better. “we missed you.”

“God,” Javier sighed out, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and reached to him to kiss his cheek “I missed you too,” he looked at both of you and Lia let out the first smile towards him of the evening “both of you.”

“We know, dummy,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder as he moved his arms to hug you both, “don’t be angry, please.” you all but pleaded, your soft voice made him huff.

“How could I?” he said, kissing the crown of your head and turning to kiss Lia on the cheek “you’re both insane,” he muttered, you chuckled, “whose idea was it?”

“Lia’s” you whispered, shivering at the way his hand was drawing shapeless forms on your covered skin.

“Of course,” he chuckled softly and tightened the grip on your bodies, “of course it was.” he murmured against Lia’s cheek.

“Sorry for the slap.” she said, moving her head to kiss his lips, he smiled against her mouth.

“I liked it.” he murmured.

“Should I do it again?” Lia whispered back, you smiled broadly at their flirting. Two years had passed without him, and they were still the same teasing, flirty fuckers you fell in love with.

“No, no hitting,” you whispered out, Lia smiled at you and you moved to kiss Javier’s neck “we are making love tonight,” your words against the skin of his neck made him sigh and Lia looked at him with a mischievous smile, mimicking your movements and licking a stripe of skin on the other side “we can fuck tomorrow.”

“Shit,” he moaned out softly when Lia nibbled at his earlobe “you came here to kill me.” you huffed and the hot air that came out of your mouth hitting the wet skin of his neck made him shiver again.

“Maybe.” you whispered roughly in his ear and he smirked at the low, growly, hungry tone of your voice.

“My dirty girl,” he whispered, turning to face you and looking for your lips, you caved in and licked his lower lip, he let out a low groan and devoured your mouth for the first time in two years; immediately, warmness leaked out of you and a never-really extinguished coil with his name embroidered on lit up inside your belly, “I missed your lips so much,” he whispered against your lips, only to you, you smiled softly and nibbled at his lip, feeling Lia’s hand reaching to you and making you press your chest to Javi’s side, he left a soft kiss on your lips and turned to her, she cupped his jaw with her other hand and kissed him deeply, Javier loved the difference between you and her; your lips kissed him softly but hungrily, there was always a willing to give him something of you in each of your kisses, he liked to think he stole some of your youth directly from your mouth every time you kissed him; Lia’s lips kissed him deeply and patiently, always heavy with a deep emotion she could never put into words, but she spilled as her tongue touched his. He loved the difference, and he loved that he could taste your kisses once again.

“Javi,” you whispered in his ear, he hummed in response and you smiled against his cheek, your hand sliding to palm his crotch over his jeans “take us to your room.” Javier let out a chuckle, remembering that was the same thing you said to him four years before on the first night the three of you spent together.

He stood up from the couch and stretched his hands so each of you could take one and he walked up to the small staircase and towards his room; as soon as you entered his bedroom, he gripped both of you towards his chest, you let out a chuckle at the strength and you put your hand on his chest.

“Can you kiss for me?” he asked, his hands on one side of your waists, you reached to cup a side of Lia’s face and brought her to you, her lips tasted like her and like Javi, you heard him sigh and the hand that rested on his chest slide to his pants once again, you palmed him over the denim of his jeans as Lia’s tongue snuck inside your mouth, Javier let out a moan when Lia slid a hand towards his ass and he tightened the grip over the both of you “I need you both naked.” he muttered, Lia broke the kiss and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Who told you you were in charge?” she murmured to him, making you huff.

“Shut up, Li,” you stepped back and leaned down to untie your boots, Javier walked to sit on the edge of the bed to take off his as Lia glared at you both, once your boots were off you looked at her.

You smirked at Lia and stood straight, taking off your shirt and your jeans while fixating your eyes on her, she rolled her eyes and smiled at you, Javier stood up from the bed, shirtless and walked to you, his hands landed on your shoulders and his fingers played with the straps of your bra, you turned to him and he kissed the naked skin of your shoulder, his hands sliding to unhook your bra and help you out of it, you turned to Lia and she bit her lip, stopping unbuttoning her own jeans as Javier’s warm hands snaked towards your tits and covered them almost entirely, making you throw your head back to rest on his naked shoulders.

Lia took off her jeans and walked towards the both of you, Javier was playing with your nipples and nibbling at your neck slowly, making you gasp and sigh at that sensation you had missed so much, his fingers were so much bigger than Lia’s and he played with you like you were a delicate thing, careful to not break you.

“Javi,” you gasped his name, Lia’s hand gripped your waist and reached for Javier, who hummed in reply “touch my pussy.” you half-begged, half-demanded, one of his hands left your breast and went to cup at your sex over the fabric of your panties and his fingers glided softly across your covered lips, he leaned to kiss Lea over your body and you raised your hands to go around Lia’s body and unhook her own bra, she took it off.

Lia’s hands slid over your waist and she helped Javier to get you off your panties, she crouched to hold them as you stepped out of them and she left a soft kiss on your mound, looking straight into Javier’s brown, lust-dark eyes, you gasped and her hands glided over your thighs in a feathery touch she knew you loved.

She stood up and kissed you softly, Javier wrapped an arm around your middle and his other hand helped you hook a leg around Lia’s hips, she held it in place, his long fingers found your clit immediately and he circled it softly a few times, you let out a curse and Lia kissed the soft flesh of your breast, you raised a hand to play with one of her nipples, Javier grazed his fingers across your slit and found you wet and ready for them, he nibbled at your jaw and slid his fingers inside, you gasped his name out, closing your eyes and throwing your head to his shoulder again.

“I missed this so much,” you let out, turning your head to him and licking at his mouth, Lia’s tongue started playing with your nipple and you smiled, lost already in the pleasure they were giving you “I need you deeper.” you whispered in his mouth and his fingers pumped deeper inside your cunt, Lia’s tongue glided across your chest to your other breast and he bit softly at your nipple to get it to harden in her mouth.

“Tell him how close you are.” Lia demanded and you whined when she sucked harder at your nipple.

“I’m so close, fuck, there.” you whispered, kneading at her breast as Javier’s fingers kept pumping and pressing and pushing inside your cunt, your pussy leaked around his hand and Lia’s hand went to your sex to guide Javier and play with your clit, your nipple still in her mouth. You bucked your hips and Javier held you tighter and closer, you felt his erection on your ass, the friction of his denim-covered hardness on your naked asscheeks made you whimper.

“You’re gonna cum?” Javier asked in your ear, his warm tongue licking your earlobe, you hummed in affirmation, your eyes rolling back behind your lids, your body flushing at the sensations both their mouths and their hands were making you feel, you couldn’t formulate any words as Javier’s fingers pressed on that spongy place inside you that made your toes curl and your thighs tremble and Lia’s fingers circled your clit at the same fucking time, it was a sweet torture you had missed like the sand missed the sea on low tide days.

“Javi,” you gasped, your hand leaving Lia’s breast and gripping the wrist of the arm that held you steady, “please,” you sighed out, holding your breath, not knowing exactly what you were begging for; but they knew, they always did, so Lia’s mouth searched yours and she kissed you, her tongue warm and wet and tasting faintly like you, Javier’s mouth returned to your neck and they synchronized their movements, making you whine and moan as they raised their speed.

“Cum for us, baby.” he whispered softly in your ear and you let out a long moan when the coil inside your belly stretched and stretched at the rhythm of their movements and when he pushed in deeper and she angled her fingers to the sides it broke. Your legs stiffened and you let out the air that you didn’t know you were holding in a silent scream as they helped you ride your climax with soft, loud kisses on your neck and around your face.

“Holy fuck,” you let out lowly, opening your eyes to look at them kissing while still holding you, “can someone let me lie down, please,” you asked softly. They broke the kiss, smiled at each other and turned to you. Lia let down your leg gently and Javier walked backwards with you still wrapped tightly inside his arms. He helped you sit on the bed and you let yourself fall on the mattress. “who’s gonna sit on my face?” you let out, making them both chuckle.

Javier kneeled on the bed next to you, he supported his weight on one arm and used the other to wander around your still-shivering body, leaving soft kisses around your chest and shoulders. You smiled at him and he smiled back, your eyes took in his features and your hand went to cup his face.

“I love you.” you whispered, his smile grew wider and he leaned to take your lips in his, you felt the bed shift next to you and Lia’s hand landed on your sternum.

“Are you ready?” she whispered in your ear, Javier broke the kiss and looked at her with a confused gaze, you nodded and bit your lip in mischief.

You put your hands on Javier’s chest and Lia put hers on his shoulder, both of you pushed him to the side so he could lie on his back, Javier let out a soft oof at the sudden movement, before he could sit up you shifted on the bed and straddled his abdomen.

“Hi.” you let out with a smile, taking his hands and putting them on your naked thighs.

“Hey.” he whispered, Lia stood up from the bed, took off her own panties and walked towards his legs, Javi shivered under you at the soft touch of Lia’s hands gliding up his thighs and at the feeling of your wet pussy making full contact with the naked skin of his belly. Lia pulled his jeans off and you looked over your shoulder at her, she was devouring his erection with her deep-darkened green gaze. Her eyes met yours and you raised your eyebrows, Javier lifted his head to look at her behind you and saw her nodding to you.

You moved up on Javier’s torso until your pussy was directly leaking over his sternum, Javier could smell your arousal and he felt his cock throb at how sweet it was; he then felt Lia straddling his lap, and he closed his eyes, throwing his head on the mattress.

“Fuck.” he let out when Lia’s soft hands gripped his dick and pumped a few times, you were looking down at him, one of your hands moved to his face and your knuckles caressed the skin of his cheek and cheekbones as he felt Lia playing the tip of his cock on her wet, warm slit, covering him with her slick.

“Baby,” you whispered to him when Lia put a hand on your shoulder for support, you knew she was sitting on his cock, Javier opened his eyes half-way and gave you with a silent pleading look, he moaned gutturally and Lia behind you gasped, you turned to look at her and bit your lip when you saw her sitting fully on Javier’s cock, her head thrown back, neck stretched, her hand was still resting on your shoulder, her knees over your feet, you turned back to Javier, whose eyes were still traveling from your face to your tits and to your slick, swollen pussy in front of him and back, “you wanna eat me?” you asked him, he nodded and you smiled at him; his body started moving slowly and his eyes closed, one of his hands left your thigh and moved towards Lia’s and your smile grew.

Lia’s hand gripped your shoulder and you felt her leaning towards you, you felt her warm breath on your back and your cunt leaked more over Javier’s chest, you took her hand and circled your hips gently to gain some friction on your core; making a mess out of Javier’s skin.

“Let him eat you.” Lia whispered on the skin of your back and left a wet kiss on it, you nodded and moved carefully off Javier, kneeling next to them. Once you weren’t putting that much pressure on his body, Lia started bouncing on him.

Javier opened his eyes and grunted, one of his hands reaching for you.

“C’mere baby girl,” he muttered towards you, “sit.” he nodded his chin and you chuckled, you moved to kneel above his head and before you could sit on his mouth he blew softly into your core, making you moan. One of his hands rested on your thigh, bringing you down to him, the other on Lia’s hip, helping her move on him.

Javier flattened his tongue on your core and ran it through your folds a couple of times before sucking on your clit, you closed your eyes and reached to Lia, she took your hands and leaned to kiss you, slowing down her movements on Javier’s cock, making him grunt against your cunt.

Javier folded his legs and planted his feet on the bed, beginning a near-torturing pounding into Lia’s cunt, feeling the way her warm walls clutched his cock. Lia whined against your lips and you started circling your hips over his open mouth.

“Fu–fuck,” she gasped out, you moaned when Javier’s tongue hit your clit at a specific angle that made your breath hitch. “Ja–Javier, more.” Lia demanded, licking your lips, you grabbed her by the nape and ate her mouth, your other hand sliding to her clit, you circled it with two fingers, she whined out again and you let her rest her head on your shoulder, Javier nibbled at your pussy, sucking at the juices that were leaking because of Lia’s moans and whimpers and the wet noises of his cock thrusting in and out of her.

You pinched Lia’s clit and she bit the skin of your shoulder as she came, Javier grunted as her cunt strangled his cock but kept going, he fucked her and you played with her clit through her high and prolonged her orgasm until she screamed against your neck.

“Oh god.” she fell on your arms and you moved off Javier’s head and helped Lia to lie down next to him, Javier’s hand was on your thigh as you whispered into Lia’s ear how good she did. You felt him shift on the bed until he was resting against your back.

“Let me fuck you too.” he whispered against your hair, you nodded, Lia snuggled against your chest as Javier grabbed your leg and rested it over his hips, he wrapped himself around you and eased himself into your wet cunt, setting immediately a murdering pace, Lia hid her face into your breasts as they bounced at the rhythm of Javier’s thrusts and her hand went around the both of you to grip at his ass.

“Javi,” you whined out, your hand resting on the small of Lia’s back, she started licking at the flesh of your tits lazily “make me cum.” you begged and he grunted against your hair, his thrust becoming deeper and harder, Lia moved her head and bit your nipple, Javier started nibbling at your jaw and his fingers went to play with your clit once again, you came around him and Javier grinned against your skin when he felt you soaking his cock with your cum.

“Let me cum on your pretty faces.” he let out, still thrusting into you gently as you rode out your orgasm.

“Yes.” you and Lia replied at the same time.

Javier let out a tired chuckle, he slid out of you, both of you whimpering at the loss of connection, and he kneeled on the bed, you and Lia shifted as he pumped himself with the help of your combined arousals covering his erection, Lia reached for you and kissed you before you could crawl on the bed to wait for Javier to finish, he grunted above you.

“C’mon,” he growled, pumping himself faster, you broke the kiss, smiled at Lia and crawled to him, looking at his face with pleading eyes, “you’re so pretty, baby,” he whispered to you, his free hand caressing your hair, Lia did the same and put her face right next to yours, your cheeks pressed against each other, he looked at Lia, “and you? fuck you’re both so fucking beautiful”; Javier came when Lia dared to stick her tongue out for him, rope after rope of his cum covered your face, Javier was making sure he got both your faces equally coated as he praised you both, “you two look so fucking good covered with me.” he was grunting, milking himself; his load was big, he didn’t dare to tell you how much he had been going without having sex because for a long time no other women did the trick for him; you felt the last drop of his cum falling on your chin and you smiled at him.

“Can I eat it now?” you asked, looking up at him, Javier let out a heavy, spent sigh and smiled softly at you, throwing his head forward and you felt Lia grabbing your face and kissing your sticky cheek.

“I’ll do it for you.” she said.

“Please, don’t get me hard again.” he pleaded, letting himself fall on the mattress next to you.

“Don’t leave,” you pleaded, trying to put on your extra puppy eyes, Javier sighed at you “please.”

“Baby, I need to go to work.” he said, softening his tone.

“Can’t you stay a little longer?” Lia asked him behind you; you were kneeling on the bed, naked and half-ready for him just by looking at him getting ready, Lia was resting on her arm, watching him trying to come up with something else to tell you so you wouldn’t ask him again.

“I can’t.” your shoulders dropped and you sat down on your feet, Javier walked towards you as Lia sat up and shifted to sit behind you; you felt her breasts pressing against your back as Javier sat in front of you on the edge of the bed, Lia’s hands wrapped your waist and Javier narrowed his eyes at her.

“You sure?” she said, sticking her tongue out and licking a stripe of skin on your neck, you sighed, you raised a hand to cup his face.

“Stay.” you pouted slightly and gasped softly when one of Lia’s hands cupped your breast and played your nipple between two fingers.

“Fuck.” Javier let out, standing up to unbutton his shirt, making you smile.

You and Lia stayed in Colombia for a week; a week in which Javier felt the most relaxed he had felt in years, a week in which Javier had smiled and laughed the most in what it felt like a lifetime; he had eaten all the delicious food you had made for him, and then he had eaten you both on his bed a few hours later; he felt as if he was getting a vacation from the deep, heavy pressure of his work and his life in that country. He felt like a tiny bit of normalcy was back in his life.

But the fun, the tasty dinners with you, sometimes with you and the Murphy’s, the loving nights wrapped around your warm bodies, the long mornings of lazy sex with each or both of you, as everything in life, had to end.

“I want you to come home with us.” you whispered against his shoulder as he held you tight against his body, the noise of the airport almost made him not hear you.

“I know, baby, I wanna come home with you too,” he muttered in your ear, you let out a shaky breath and he stepped back a bit to look at you, cup your face and kiss your forehead “soon, okay?” he tried to reassure you, you smiled at him and nodded softly, he brought your face towards his and left a deep, gentle kiss on your lips “take care of Lia.”

“Okay.” you replied in his mouth and stepped back from him.

Javier stepped towards Lia and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Please, take care of yourself.” she whispered against his cheek, he nodded softly.

“Don’t leave me alone too long,” he whispered only to her, Lia closed her eyes and took a deep breath “please.”

“We’ll come back, okay?” she reassured him and turned her head to kiss him.

That time, Javier got to feel the same thing you both felt two years before when he saw your bodies walking hand in hand, disappearing behind the boarding gate.

Javier was sent home almost three years later after the events that went down with Los Pepes; he was sent first to Miami and then he flew straight to Laredo, to where you had driven to meet him at his dad’s ranch.

The first thing that Javier saw when he got home was Lia’s huge pregnant belly.

He had jumped off his dad’s truck before Chucho could even turn off the engine; you were sitting on the porch, Lia was complaining about her back and you were sitting next to her with your hand on her belly; Javier ran towards the both of you and before you could react he kneeled in front of Lia, already forgetting everything about himself.

“God, you look huge.” he let out with wide eyes and a surprised quirk. You drowned a chuckle.

“Well, hi, asshole.” Lia let out, Javier let out a chuckle and put his big hands on Lia’s belly, marveled at how soft yet how hard it was, he looked at you with a soft smile.

“Hi, baby.” he muttered, Lia smirked, covering one of his hands with her own.

“Hi, love,” you replied, leaning to kiss his forehead, he moved his head to reach your lips “we have a baby in there.” you smiled at him.

“No, I have a baby in me.” Lia corrected, Javier turned at her and rolled his eyes, incorporating to kiss her.

“Well, is it a boy?” Javier asked, turning his brown, wide, shiny eyes to the baby bump, feeling a gentle kick right below his hand.

“No,” you smiled, “it’s a girl.”

“Thank fucking god.” he sighed out, leaning down to press his cheek to Lia’s belly, you put a hand on his shoulder and he smiled at you.

Javier never thought he would be a father, but in between visits to Colombia, you and Lia had talked about having a baby, there was something inside both of you that made you want to have a mini person running around both your legs, someone that looked like either of you and Javier, someone that could be the embodiment of the huge love you had shared.

So, one day, while talking to Javier over the phone, you mentioned to him that you were thinking about having a baby. At first Javier thought both of you wanted to get pregnant at the same time, and you had laughed it off; you hadn’t decided who was to carry it, but you knew you wanted it.

Javier asked to think about it for a while, ponder it and sleep on it; he knew, by looking at Steve and Connie with Olivia, that being a parent wasn’t easy, and although he always thought kids were something he could only see from afar, he didn’t hate the idea of a little person calling him dad; so he called you both and told you he was in, you offered yourself to do it but Lia immediately said no. Javier had laughed at the response but agreed with her; you didn’t fight it, they had a fierce, almost overprotective grip over you, and Lia didn’t want to see you lose your mind and drown in hormones, so she was the one that had her implant removed and on the next visit to Colombia, she was the one getting almost all of Javier’s cum.

The pregnancy announcement came several weeks later, once you were back in Houston, Javier lost his words over the phone and you and Lia had waited for him to say anything for almost three minutes. But he was happy, happier than he had ever felt.

You and Lia had dealt with the pregnancy on your own, Javier’s work grew heavier and more dangerous than before so he cut the visits and didn’t let you travel down anymore. You understood, but you were dealing with a pregnant, grumpy, horny woman by yourself, and you would’ve been lying if you said you didn’t need him by your side.

But, even when his suspension came out of nowhere for you, it was also sort of a blessing; because you both thought he wouldn’t be there with you when the baby was born, but he was, he was back home and about to become a father.

Literally at any time.

You had driven with him back to Houston after a few days with Chucho to get ready for when Lia gave birth and the convivence fell down as always, domestic bliss wasn’t the goal but it was there.

Javier was sitting on the coffee table, rubbing Lia’s feet one night after dinner while you took care of things around the kitchen and threw names to the air; choosing the name for the baby was exhausting, hard work, with three parents looking for something meaningful and fighting over pronunciations and spellings.

“What about Jenna?” you let out, Lia growled.

“My highschool bully was named Jenna.” she said, you chuckled, Javier narrowed his eyes and threw his gaze to the floor as he rubbed Lia’s toes.

“And Lisa?”

“Too short.” she replied. You hummed in thinking.

Javier had received a call that morning; he was offered a new job in Colombia, a new assignment to catch another cartel; a new job and a promotion.

“Lily!” your voice sounded afar.

“Uhm, nah.” Lia’s voice did too.

Javier glanced at the baby bump and he knew the job would do a lot for his daughter, he knew, somehow, that that time the work wouldn’t take long, he knew he could do it, he knew he had it in him; but he didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to leave you and Lia and his baby alone again, not after spending almost six years away from his home, with a long distance relationship that although worked, wasn’t enough, surviving out of one week trips every six months, he didn’t know if he had that in him.

“Luisa!” you said, falling next to Lia on the couch, Lia gasped.

“I like it.” she replied and you clapped a few times.

“Javi, do you like it?” you asked him, bringing him back to reality.

“Huh?” he blinked a few times, Lia narrowed his eyes at him.

“The name.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” he let out lowly, nodding a couple of times.

“What’s going on?” Lia asked, having felt his insecurity.

“Nothing.” he replied, taking her foot off his lap and taking the other one on.

“You’re lying.” you let out, searching for his eyes.

“Yeah,” he sighed out, “they offered me a job.” he let out.

“That’s good, right?” you asked, looking at Lia, she shrugged.

“It’s in Colombia.” he muttered.

“No.” Lia let out. You frowned at Javier, Lia took her foot off his lap as quickly as she could.

“You’re going back?” you asked him, already feeling a knot in your throat that was making it hard for you to breathe.

“Wait.” he rubbed his forehead with his hand.

“Javier Peña if you go back to that place,” Lia said with her hardened voice, trying to stand up from the couch, “I swear to God you will not meet your daughter.” Javier closed his eyes and damned the time he just let it out before explaining the whole thing.

“Are you gonna leave us again?”

“Let me explain.” Javier stood up from the coffee table.

“You can’t leave!” you yelled out, standing up as well and helping Lia off the couch.

“Listen to me,” Lia admonished “we waited for you, Javier!”

“Let. Me. Explain.” Javier pointed out.

“Explain what?” you asked him, hiding behind Lia as she waddled towards him.

“You are not leaving us alone again,” she shoved her finger on his chest “I’m about to explode, idiot!”

“Listen to me, silly woman!” he raised his voice to Lia and then looked at you “listen,” Lia was about to reply to him, but you saw his eyes shiny with unshed tears, so you put a hand on her shoulder and she took a deep breath, “I want you to come with me.” he let out.

“What?” you let out, frowning, confused.

“After Luisa is born, come with me,” he looked at the both of you, you turned to Lia and then back to him “I don’t wanna miss you anymore,” he dropped his eyes to Lia’s belly “I don’t wanna miss her.”

“Fuck you, Javier.” Lia let out, her lip pouty. She rolled her eyes and stepped slowly towards him.

“Please.” he whispered, inches away from her, she nodded, Javier kissed her and raised his hand for you; you took it and he pulled you to him.

“We better work on our spanish, then.” you whispered to them, Javier leaned to kiss you with a smile on his lips.

let me know if you wanna be removed :)

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btsqualityy · 3 years

Text

Assuage: Chapter 19

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers

Warnings: Mentions of abuse

“You did what?!” Taehyung screamed and everyone in the room cringed from the sheer volume of his voice. After the chaos of the day, everyone was gathered in Namjoon and Hyorin’s cabin in an attempt to regroup and discuss what needed to happen next.

“Tae, let it go,” Jungkook whispered but Taehyung shook his head as he looked at his brother.

“Fuck that! I can’t believe you kicked Yoongi hyung out of the pack!” Taehyung yelled.

“It’s what had to be done,” Namjoon shrugged. “His loyalties came into question and I had to make a judgement call.”

“Oh yeah, so damn near choking him out was a part of that judgement call?” Taehyung scoffed.

“What?” You spoke up and everyone looked over at you as you were laid out on the couch, your head placed in Hyorin’s lap as she stroked your hair. “Joon.”

“He put the pack at risk, not to mention the fact that he betrayed you, Y/N-ah and Tae and all of us,” Namjoon pointed out. “Me choking him was honestly the least harmful thing that I could’ve done to him in that moment.”

“But he has nowhere to go and you know that!” Taehyung chastised.

“That’s not my fault Taehyung,” Namjoon spat back.

“Yeah well, you’re no better than Seo-hyun then,” Taehyung snorted and everyone in the room froze.

“Tae Tae,” Jimin tsked in disapproval but Namjoon held his hand up, silencing him.

“You know Tae, I realize that as our spoiled younger brother, the concept of responsibility may be lost on you but to me, it’s not,” Namjoon started. “As Pack Alpha, it is my job to ensure this pack’s safety. That means you, Y/N-ah, my mate, my pups, and everyone else that belongs to this pack.”

“So that means you would kick a member of this pack out if you thought that they endangered it? Even by accident?” Taehyung questioned.

“Yes, because that’s what has to be done sometimes,” Namjoon shot back. “Making difficult choices is what comes along with being Pack Alpha and it’s hard but you do what needs to be done in order to preserve the futures of the people who trust you. It’s a thankless job but I do it, without hesitation or reservation, because I fucking care and the last thing that I need is bullshit flack from one of the main people that I’m trying to look out for.”

“Joon hyung,” Taehyung tried to say but Namjoon swiftly turned his back and walked over to the front door, yanking it open and storming out. Hobi looked over at Hyorin and after receiving a nod from her, followed behind him and shut the door as he left.

“God, I can’t believe him,” Taehyung huffed as he began to pace back and forth around the living room.

“That was a low blow Taehyung, and you know it,” you admonished him. “Joon just did what he thought was best.”

“And you know how he can get sometimes,” Hyorin added. “Joon’s extremely intelligent but he’s still an Alpha and you know how Alphas react when they or the people that they care about have been threatened.”

“That’s no excuse though,” Taehyung replied.

“It’s just different for Alphas, Tae,” Jungkook said. “As much as I don’t agree with what Joon hyung did, I can’t say that I wouldn’t have done the same if I were in his position. It’s about principle.”

“Fuck principle!” Taehyung exclaimed.

“This is all my fault,” you whispered suddenly and everyone immediately looked at you, shaking their heads firmly.

“No, it’s not,” Jin told you. “You fell in love and you can’t be blamed for that.”

“Yeah, but I fell in love with a lone wolf that we didn’t know from a hole in the wall,” you sniffled. “I didn’t even ask him to explain more about his old pack because I didn’t want to be insensitive but look where that got me. Where it got us.”

“It’s not like you knew,” Jimin tried to say. “And don’t blame yourself for trying to be respectful of someone’s trauma, there’s never anything wrong with that.”

“Jimin’s right, you don’t need to beat yourself up over this,” Hyorin agreed.

“But I can’t help but to feel so fucking dumb,” you huffed. “I let him spend my heat with me Hyo, all because my Omega liked his Alpha and I let that cloud my judgement. I should’ve thought things through more and not have rushed into it.”

“You let him spend your heat with you based on what you knew about him at the time,” Hyorin pointed out. “And don’t blame your Omega. Our wolf side doesn’t always follow the same logic as our human side but you know your Omega would never knowingly lead you astray. If your Omega trusted him, it’s because he made you feel like you could.”

“Something is off about all of this,” Taehyung announced suddenly, making everyone look over at him. “This entire situation just isn’t making sense.”

“What are you talking about?” Jin wondered.

“Y/N-ah, did you let Yoongi hyung explain when he came to talk to you?” Taehyung asked and you arched an eyebrow.

“What was there to explain Tae?” You questioned.

“I just don’t know if any of us should be taking Seo-hyun’s word at face value,” Taehyung explained. “We don’t know that there’s any truth to what he said other than him saying it and we all know he’s a liar and a master manipulator.”

“For your information, yes, Yoongi told me himself that he was from Seo-hyun’s pack and that he knew Seo-hyun was the one who killed our parents,” you revealed. “But even if he didn’t, just the fact that he either belonged or still belongs to that pack is enough for me to never want to see his face or smell his scent again.”

“Maybe you should back off a little Tae Tae,” Jimin suggested.

“Fine,” Taehyung huffed, reaching out and grabbing Jungkook’s hand before stalking over to the front door, pausing only to throw it open before stomping out.

“You know, I really think you should calm down,” Jungkook told him as they walked down the front steps of the cabin. “We should head home and get some sleep.”

“You go, I’m gonna go to the Head Hall,” Taehyung shook his head.

“I really don’t think Joon hyung wants to talk right now.”

“No, not to see him,” Taehyung rolled his eyes as he began to walk away from Jungkook. “I’m going to look through some history records.”

“History records?” Jungkook repeated. “History records of what?”

“The Great Pack War,” Taehyung smirked knowingly and Jungkook groaned loudly, knowing that his fiancée was up to something.

“I knew he wasn’t going to let this go,” Jungkook whispered to himself as he followed behind Taehyung.

..........................................

Since joining the Kim’s Pack, Yoongi hadn’t allowed himself to reflect back on the 10 years that he spent as a part of Seo-hyun’s pack but as he roamed around the woods carrying only a backpack and a duffle bag full of clothes while trying to find shelter for the night, it was almost as if his mind couldn’t help but to go back to that dark time.

Of course, his life in that pack wasn’t always completely horrible. As a pack comprised mostly of Prime Alphas, they were always seen as desirable so there was always an ample amount of Omegas to fuck and that were willing to treat him like a King. In addition to that, being in a pack with several amazing hunters and builders meant that food was always plentiful and the cabins that they lived in would’ve been the stuff of royalty, if they had been living in medieval times.

However, for every positive thing that Yoongi could remember about that pack, he could counter it with two negative things. Toxic masculinity was the basically the law that Seo-hyun’s pack lived by, and Yoongi couldn’t even remember how many times he had been referred to as weak by Seo-hyun and most of the other Alphas in the pack because he wasn’t a complete asshole like them.

He remembered how they would starve him if he didn’t hunt big enough animals. He remembered how getting into fist fights with other Alphas in the pack was the only way that he could somewhat prove himself and his worth. He could even remember the time when Seo-hyun demanded that he be chained up outside, in the dead of winter, all because he had given a pregnant Omega one of his extra blankets for her nest.

Yoongi’s life had been like a rollercoaster every since the Great Pack War had started and he had thought that maybe he had finally found a stable life that could make him happy with the Kim Pack. Boy, did he feel foolish now.

After walking for over an hour, Yoongi managed to find an abandoned cabin. After searching through it and finding no signs of human or animal life, he set his bags down and began to look through it. The cabin seemed to have been abandoned for a good while, so Yoongi figured that it was as good a place as any to stay while he figured out his next moves.

“I don’t even know what the fuck that would be,” Yoongi muttered to himself as he spread a blanket onto the old, ratty couch that was placed in what Yoongi assumed was once the living room before laying down on top of it. Actually, as he thought about it, Yoongi realized that this was the first time in his life that he had ever been truly alone. Sure, he felt alone after his parents died and he was left in Seo-hyun’s pack, and he had felt alone when he first joined the Kim’s Pack but there was something different about now.

Without any other bodies around, Yoongi found the silence deafening and with only his own thoughts to keep him company, he could only hope that he wouldn’t be forced to be left alone with them for too much longer.

..........................................

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wyn-n-tonic · 3 years

Text

Oceans in the Desert

Word Count: 1,176 Warning: This is a couple dealing with the loss of a child, that is the theme. It is softness wrapped in grief. I am including an author's note at the end because what I have to say can also be triggering and I don't want to put that just out here and potentially harm or isolate somebody. Anyway, if you're reading this I love you and if you continue on, I love you. But if this subject matter is too triggering? Guess what! I love you.

Gif by: @aomine-dajki.

He’s…changed.

Since losing the baby, he’s changed.

It shouldn’t be shocking, there are two people feeling this sudden absence and it is a fire consuming the tangled branches of their lives. But she is, at first. The hard exterior he usually sported had begun to soften. It always was around her. But everybody else? He was no longer the strong Din. And in her arms? He was completely shattered.

She’s changed too. Resolute in the belief that a loving and full family wasn’t where her role was meant to be played. She expected his face to change when looking at her. Imagined him twisting away from her. But if it changed at all, it was only with the gentle understanding of shared sadness.

Their grief came in unspoken shifts. Hers flowing freely in the light, an open book adding new chapters to the pages he knew so well. His came softly in the night, the darkness veiling him in the same safety of his uniform, allowing him to become free.

Life pattered on in a four-four beat and so, too, did their graceful dance. Families are torn apart every day and the world doesn’t stop. The world won’t stop for them either, it can’t. To process is to work. To tinker. To lead, not to lean. It’s always been like that, the orphan and the runaway. But where they used to hold themselves, they now hold each other.

He became reckless, helmet tossed to the side. He traded the armor for vulnerability, seeking a different kind of anonymity in the eyes of the world.

“I think I’m done with this,” he whispered, “Ana, I can’t do this anymore.”

Her breath caught behind the ever-present lump in her throat, forcing her upward in shock. She looked towards the rough outline of him at the edge of the bed, heart leaping forward as the gunshot signaling the start of the race rang heavy in her ears.

This is it.

“Din, I—“ What does she say? She never was a beggar but this is different. She wasn’t losing him too. “I didn’t mean for it to all fall apart like this. I didn’t mean t—“

“What?” He turns suddenly and cradles her tear stained cheek in his hand, his heartbeat radiating through his palms. “Stars, did you thin—“

But she’s already nodding into his hand, holding his wrist in a vice grip refusing to lose his touch. He’s a space heater and that warmth’s not lost in the gentle laugh that escapes him now. It’s the sweetest sound the living quarters have heard in weeks.

“No.” He’s pressing that soft pout to her forehead. “Never.” The tip of her nose. “My sweet girl.” Her lips.

Water wells heavy in relief on her lids but, still, she says, “I'm sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I—“ he pulls her to his chest and swallows hard, unable to keep looking into those big eyes still wild with the fear of fresh loss. “We are fragile. I should’ve chosen my words with care, I’m sorry. What I meant was that I can’t keep bowing out and acting like everything is normal.”

He stops, a ragged breath drawn into tired lungs.

“I don’t understand, Din.”

The quaking starts from somewhere deep within him, somewhere far below his sternum. Hollow where his soul should be, as if reaching in and seeking it out would produce nothing but empty air. The same vacancy has carved through her.

His tears fall like stars in the galaxy of her hair.

He waits five beats of his exhausted heart to steady himself before he speaks again, somehow softer, “I can’t continue to run and hunt and hide like this. I cannot keep living in transience and call that healing from my trauma and I won’t let you either.”

“You want a different life? With me?”

“I want a normal life. With you.”

“Din,” she’s pulling back, hands finding his face in the dim light, “What about the Creed? The Guild?”

He pushes a loose strand of hair behind her ears and when he speaks again, he is completely calm. Firm. Resolved.

“I will no longer be bound by rules I did not create.”

Her eyes are searching his, looking for a shred of doubt but there’s none to be found. His mind’s made up but, “Din, you’ve spent thirty-something yea—“

“Fuck the Creed, Ana. The only good thing they ever brought me was my family,” a ragged breath draws through him once more, “but they’re the reason we lost our son. I will not do this anymore. I will not do this to you anymore. We both deserve stability after what we’ve been through.”

The pad of her thumb runs across the curve of his cheek, the constant tears doing in weeks what usually takes years. Her man, her mountain of a man, has been reshaped in front of her. "Where will we go?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Somewhere green. I think he liked green.”

He nods, sadder still. “I think so too. I wish I could’ve asked him.”

“I wish for so many things, Din. I would’ve waited centuries just to hear his little voice. What do you think his first word would’ve been?”

He laughs again and it fills the emptiness of the room, of them. “Well, he spent all his time with us so my credits would be on, ‘Fuck.’”

Her laughter bubbles up, lilting in time with his as they imagine their sweet boy, beaming up at them with his little teeth and wide eyes.

“And the thing is, Ana,” he’s settling down, chest rising and falling at a normal pace now, “I wouldn’t even have admonished him. I wouldn’t have denied that boy a goddamn thing.”

“No,” she brushes his overgrown curls to the side, “neither would I. He had us wrapped around his finger the moment he came into our orbit.”

His heart visibly sinks, “Laughing makes me feel guilty.”

“Yeah,” she bites her lip and pulls him into her, allowing gravity to take them both to bed, “it makes me feel guilty too."

“I keep wondering if this pain will ever end and then, in fleeting moments, I forget there was ever pain to begin with. Then it hits me all over again because I don’t want to forget him.”

“No, my love, I don’t want to either. They say forgetting is the ultimate loss. I won’t let you do that.” She takes a deep breath as her fingers tangle into the wilds that have claimed his crown. “Promise me that you won’t let him slip away from me either.”

He pulls her closer, wringing out what little space is left between their bodies. Lips finding hers in the gentlest kiss as salt water mixes in the shared space of home, he whispers, “I promise you.”

One day, the pain may subside into a dull ache. One day, it may even go away altogether. But for now?

The sobs that shook their bodies could’ve filled oceans in the desert.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This was one of the hardest, most cathartic things I've ever written. I lost a child when I was twenty-two and I did it all by myself while surrounded by people who said they loved me. I wrote this the way that I did because it's how I wanted my ex partner to behave, I wanted him to care and cry with me and he didn't. His reaction made me believe that nobody else would care or cry with me either. I stayed silent in my grief for years. I used to feel like losing that pregnancy made me a failure but when I finally opened up about it the amount of love and support I received was everything that I had been craving. If you are suffering through this grief alone, I promise you that you're not and I hope that the people you are surrounded by give you the love and the care that you deserve. I hope that the people around you cry with you. You're not a failure, you never have been.

#din djarin #the mandalorian #grogu #fanfic #fanfiction #star wars #sir i am crying because i will never be grogu's mother #pedro pascal #loss #ofc #original female character #baby yoda

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ldouble · 3 years

Text

Slumming It | Kevin Atwater X Reader (Chicago PD)

summary: When pulled into an undercover op for the Intelligence Unit, you couldn’t be more excited. The only person who catches your hesitation is your boyfriend. A lot is unsaid in the bullpen, your relationship being one of them.

gif is not mine :)

“You keep looking at me like that and they’re gonna know you’re slumming it with a uniform.”

Your words were punctuated by the complete zip of the knee high leather boots. But it wasn’t till the hell smacks the concrete of the locker room does Kevin look up at you, unimpressed with your statement.

You tilted your head at him, hoping it aided your humor. All it did was send the little eye contact held fleeting.

“I’m not slumming it with a uniform.” Kevin shook his head toward the ground, until he realized what he just said. “I’m not slumming it with you, either.”

Your hands found the other boot, a sigh escaping your lips at how much the tight fitting accessory is going to fit. “You’re tripping up, Atwater,” It glided up with little effort, giving you the chance to cross your legs and look across the room. “I can see Ruzek getting on your ass already.”

“Can you stop with-”

“Or is Halstead sending a sly smirk at you?”

Your light heartedness has no place in the backlit changing room and even little place in a situation like this. Joking about your boyfriend’s friends finding out about his relationship, with you standing there dressed like a hooker, all while working an undercover op...you should’ve stuck with commenting about how the color of the dress did absolutely nothing for your eyes.

Still, Kevin would’ve found a way to call you out. He was quiet but that just meant he spent more time listening. He was done with your ill timed jokes.

“Sorry.” You bit your lip, knowing you pinched a nerve. You didn’t know what to worry about more - the way you just embarrassed yourself in front of a member of the Intelligence Unit or how you insulted your boyfriend.

You hated that the latter took priority.

You found Kevin’s eyes, too dark to read. But the look he was giving you - an analytical gaze mixed with what looked like frustration with the furrow in his brow - had you resorting back to your go-to.

“We uniforms aren’t used to working anyone other than a partner.”

You could hear the worry in your voice growing as each word entered the space. If the tone didn’t solidify his assumption, the choked laugh you gave did it. Nothing said “Can I do this?” like a meek laugh.

Girlfriends worried.

Cops did no such thing.

Straightening your posture you released your hair held in a tight ponytail. Shaking it out, you offered a smile. “Having your team at my disposal just got to my head for a second.”

Kevin pursed his lips, his arms crossed defensively over his chest. He looked great, done up in his own undercover wardrobe. Of course, his wasn’t as extreme as yours.

You were pretending to be a hooker. Short dress, fishnet stockings and heels that were nearly half your height. And that wasn’t including the heel. You hadn’t looked in the mirror after Trudy bombarded you. The amount of lipstick you could just feel on you made you want to wipe it off.

Kevin on the other hand was just supposed to be him. Tall and handsome, a drink of water to fit in right among the elites of this Hookah Bar you were raiding. Minus the badge, you could’ve sworn this look of a blazer and dark jeans had made an appearance at your front door. As well as your bedroom floor at one point or another.

He walked forward, hands finding your shoulders gently, his eyes pouring into yours. He took your breathe away. Or maybe that was the anxiety creeping up on you.

“We’re not at your disposal. We’re on your side.” You couldn’t help but lean into his palm as it crept up your shoulder. “We have your back.”

“Better you than this dress.”

Again, he didn’t find it funny. You sighed, nodding in all seriousness. “You have my back.”

Giving up on the idea of convincing him with a look of complete and utter confidence (you were saving that for the mission) you strode past him, grabbing the furry white jacket off the end of the bench.

On your way, you gave him some of the rope to tug at.

“That easy to tell I’m nervous?” You asked, slipped the fur over your shoulders.

He followed your steps, the pink handbag looking teeny in his grasp. “You uniforms got no damn poker face.”

You chuckle at that, feeling better with him in a joking mood. It was forced, you could tell by the way his tongue was sticking out between his lips, but you didn’t call it out. Humor came to everybody in their own ways. Yours was easier to cling to.

“Yeah, well without a uniform I’m sure it’ll get better.” You accepted the bag, twirling it in your fingers.

“Better?” Kevin asked with offense. “Gonna be the best. Why else would we bring you up?” He whispered in your ear as you made your way to the garage.

You pretended to think for a second before turning around, tiptoeing backwards and tracing his collar.

“For you to oggle me.”

The sound of the door opening snapped you back to reality. This was work. You might’ve been pretending to be a hooker but you weren’t on the job yet. Definitely not with a colleague who you would never do such a thing with.

Kevin caught the door, holding it open for you. As you walked past you gave your best respectable-just-another-day-in-the-office smile. But upon his next words, it was hard to keep it up.

“Like I’d show them I’m slumming it with you.”

----

Slumming it, you were definitely not.

You had quested the expensive dress placed in your locker. Why did a hooker did a $500 piece of clothing that barely covered her ass? Because as a high class hooker, expensive taste breeds....expensive tasters.

Men. With money.

But there was only one man you wanted.

He had money, sure.

But he also had guns.

A whole warehouse and business of illegal firearms. Chicago, ever the “Heart of America” was this guy’s selling point. Everything shipped here and then shipped out.

But a man he was. A man with needs. Expensive needs on short time. Besides, he had cash to burn. Made sense he booked it to this club, paid for a girl, had his way with her, and then was onto a business deal with a couple AK-47s by dawn.

Lucky you, getting a front row seat to it all.

You really hoped all you got was a seat. You really didn’t want to have to go to bed with this guy.

Jay would hopefully make sure of that. Imploring a deal on this guy’s “night out”. Who could resist making some money while spending it on something as pretty as me?

You gulped, remembering your first date with Kevin. He paid for the meal, quoting something similar. He couldn’t believe I had said yes to going out. He insisted on paying.

Tough as nails he was in his bullet proof vest. Beneath it, a teddy bear with manners of every mother’s dream.

“Aye, mami, how you doing?”

You turned to the fourth? fifth? guy who approached you, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. He was security, like every other guy who had hit on you yet, and not your target.

They really thought protecting their bosses wasn’t their job. Trying to catch the runner ups was their priortiy.

“Looking for something a bit better than that.” You heard Ruzek say over the comms.

“She’s got standards,” You looked over your shoulder toward Kevin, posted at a table near by. He sent a quick wink before finishing his statement. “As every girl should.”

“High ones, too.” You whispered.

You knew he was rolling his eyes, more so at you chiming in than your hint at your secret boyfriend’s height, but missed it since your view became full by another presence.

“Hi to you, too.”

Bingo.

You smiled at the man you had waiting for all night. One glance at his opening jacket, shimmering from the gun strapped in on both sides, and you knew this was the one. You’d been studying his face for weeks, of course. But nothing said arms dealer like...arms.

Arms that you felt wrapping around you.

Arms that you had to embrace.

It wasn’t the guy that had you nervous. Or the situation. Hell, you felt fine pretending to be a hooker. You had your team behind you.

You also had your boyfriend watching. That’s what made you resistance to accepting the embrace, taking in the fluttery whispers, and nodding at the invitation to his booth.

It was one thing to go undercover and flirt. A whole other when doing it in front of the one person you were undercover with and wanted to flirt with.

You were a cop first, you reminded yourself as you sat down on the plush velvet sofa. You were a cop, you repeated at lips found your neck.

Where the hell was Jay? Swooping in to make this deal? Get you out of this?

“Hey man, hate to intrude here.”

You froze for the first time at the sound of that voice.

A voice you loved to hear. But not here. Not with some other guy all up on you.

The dealer let his grip loosen on you and as he turned toward the newest addition to the booth you got your first clear look at it.

Your secret boyfriend.

Currently playing an undercover role he was not assigned to. All while you were undercover as a hooker attempting to get in good with a well known criminal.

The rest of the team was having just as much of a frenzy on your ear piece. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Jay panicking, not so much as ten feet away.

Kevin must’ve beat him to it.

Something told you it wasn’t the want to be the bad guy. Rather, break up the bad guy and you.

He had your back. Too much this time.

The target felt the same way, attempting to shake him off and coming back to you for more.

Your eyes met Kevin’s - more hallow than earlier - over the shoulder of the suspect. It sent you freezing again. What were you to do? Blow cover to save a relationship just as hidden? Or keep this going and lose something you never would’ve really had?

“I like seeing you work.” You giggled, gently pushing him off of you. Your eyes glimmered with fake admiration (really anxiety bubbling up) but it did the trick. You didn’t even have to use your line about how you would work for him later.

Taking the bait, he spun and began chatting with Kevin.

Unfortunately, he liked his work and play mixing. A hand found your leg, circling your knee. Kevin’s gaze never left the dealer’s but you could tell it was killing him. The toothpick, which had been loosely hanging out his mouth earlier, was now being gritted together so loud you could hear it over the music.

What was more obvious than his clear discomfort? The hand sneaking its way up your leg. No amount of disco lights or smoke from nearby bongs could hide the manly grasp on your thigh.

Even when he lifted your skirt up you couldn’t flinch. He was so close to admitting it all. He’d skimmed the numbers and the details but if Kevin pressed a little bit harder...

“Tell me more.”

Kevin’s eyes had swiftly found the connection on your leg. It wasn’t obvious enough for concern but his tone was. It was distant. Unfocused. Everything a dealer didn’t want in a deal, no matter the environment.

“You don’t seem interested in enough.”

“I am.” You giggled.

Damn. You were too quick to jump. He gave you a disapproving look and you could see it all falling. Everything you had worked for. Gone because you were trying to protect this case more than your real relationship.

“Not as much as me, girl.” Kevin spat.

He caught both of your attention’s, scooting closer. “I want armory. I know you have it. I can swear on the things you’re gonna do to this girl tonight, you can get it to be by tomorrow.”

OK, you weren’t the only one putting work before romance.

The thought scared you for a second but you had more to worry about. Most importantly, the feverish squeeze of your thigh that bloomed from the exciting prospect of a business deal.

The guy said it himself, shaking hands with Kevin and giving all the details we needed for a case.

You were stunned how good this was going. It was all falling into place.

Kevin seemed just as shocked too, sitting there silently...which was very unlike the bold player he was pretending to be.

Of course, no story has a perfectly happy ending.

The fault in the plan, the lack of calling out the safe word to trigger the team flying in.

The word slumming (your choice) barely crossed your mind before the guy’s lips were on yours and he was hurting you with such force.

You felt trapped for what felt like eternity (with your boyfriend looking on at least) but what was really seconds before he was ripped off of you.

“Get your hands off of her!” Kevin threw the guy on the ground, the gun in his belt loaded and aimed at his head.

He looked back at you once his hands were up, breathing heavy. OK, it had messed with his head as much as yours.

A little too much, though.

Because the next thing you knew, Kevin was kicked to the ground and the dealer was grabbing his own gun.

Thankfully, you were wearing a uniform more fit for the job.

In seconds you clashed with the arms dealer, hitting down hard on his hand to realize the gun in his grasp while simultaneously grabbing the other pistol from his pocket. Just as you lifted it up to aim it, Kevin was forcing him onto the booth, hands behind his back.

“Chicago PD!” Had just left your lips as the rest of the team came by. You breathed out, no longer having to play it cool.

Kevin was also given a break when Jay came in to take him away. In two steps he was in front of you, releasing the gun from your hand and pulling you close.

“I’m never letting you out of that uniform ever again.” He muffled into your head before tipping your chin up.

You smiled, cutting the distance between your lips till they grazed his when you spoke. “You can try all you want but I know you love seeing me out of it.”

Kevin pulled your close, squashing whatever space lay between you two.

“Woah, what’s going on here?” Ruzek called out with a holler, bringing you both to reality.

Out of the corner of your eye. you saw Kevin stumble a hand flying over his head as he thought on his feet.

You took a step forward, a hand on Kevin’s chest. “Kevin is slumming it with me, a uniform.”

Laughs erupted from the team, Voight shaking his head.

Kevin saddled up beside you, pulling you close once again.

“How many times I gotta say I’m not slumming it with you?”

“A million. “You shrugged. “I did have to lower my very high standards for-”

You words went unfinished as his lips found yours again.

You didn’t mind, thought. There’d be another undercover case sooner or later. You could tell him then how it was you who lucked out.

The End

#kevin atwater #kevin atwater x reader #chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd fanfic #chicago pd one shot #jay halstead #adam ruzek #hank voight #chicago pd nbc #kevin atwater one shot

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enthusiasticharry · 4 years

Text

The Secrets You Keep

summary: you're a stripper, and you meet Harry off shift. what happens when he finds out?

request: hiiii would you be able to do something like stripper y/n? not where they meet at the club or anything but something natural like at a cafe or something but she keeps it from him bc she thinks he’ll leave her? then he has a guys night at the strip club and sees her perform? but he loves it and she’s a bit embarrassed? idk but that kinda vibe if ur up for it! X

word count: 8.3k words of fluff, smut and angst if you squint (and i really mean squint) also not proofread, sorry!

masterlist | asks

It never occurred to you that once you left full time education you’d end up becoming a stripper. It wasn’t the occupation you had envisioned for yourself, but it was the one that paid the best money and even though it shouldn’t be — money was the thing that you needed the most. You lived in a small, one bedroom flat that you shared with your Grandma who had no income and little pension meaning that you was the only source of income for the two of you. Obviously it was hard upon you, but your Grandma had done so much for you when you were younger that you wanted to help her as much as you possibly could. Granted, finding a job as an eighteen year old that was enough to help pay the bills and for the treatment your Grandmother needed wasn’t the easiest, and that was how you stumbled across the club and the jobs there. Your Grandma didn’t know how you received your income, and you planned to keep it that way for as long as you physically could.

“Have you got any private dances today?” Jocelyn, also known as Sapphire amongst the people in the club, asked as she started fixing her makeup in the mirror next to yours.

“I don’t know.” You sighed, spraying a small amount of hairspray upon your curls, “I haven’t spoken to Elliot yet.”

“Apparently some big shot businessmen are coming in tomorrow.” Ruby adds from the other side of you, applying a lipstick that matched her name to her lips.

“Ugh.” Sapphire groaned, “That means old men with small dicks wanking to us instead of being with their probably very lovely, loving wives at home.”

“They lust after the taboo.” You add, applying a small amount of lipgloss to your lips, “They want what they can’t have, and brag when they get it.”

“They have money though.” Ruby shrugged, “Haven’t had many tips this week. I’d probably do anything for a couple hundred quid tomorrow.”

“Not anything Ruby.” You turn to look at her, shaking your head at the younger girl, “Stand your ground. Don’t let them take advantage of you.”

“I won’t.” She smiled, “I learnt from the best.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

As a fresh eighteen year old, just as Ruby was now, you could’ve only hoped for someone to help you and guide you through the trails and tribulations you endured at the club. That’s why you sort of took the younger girl under your wing and helped her as much as possible.

It wasn’t a lot. Granted, with what they did the majority of it was on their own upon the stage or in a private dance but you wanted to make sure she had small tips to help her handle herself in any situation that could occur and that she someone to talk to if she ever needed it.

“Are you working tomorrow, Emerald?” Emerald was your stage name.

“No.” You sigh happily, “It’s my day off.”

“Enjoy yourself, you deserve it.” Ruby smiled.

You certainly did.

The next morning, after helping your Grandma get ready and to the hospital, you make your way towards the small café you usually went to during your Grandmother’s chemo sessions. They usually lasted around three hours, and whilst you offered to stay with her, she usually forced you to leave and spend some time on your own, claiming she didn’t want you to see her at her worst.

The spring days had just started to warm up, so you dressed yourself in a summer dress you had picked up for cheap at a charity shop. You carried your tote bag with your book in over your shoulder as you pushed past the people on the street.

It wasn’t usually this busy, and looking around you saw no free tables but a few free chairs dotted around. Your favourite table, tucked away in the far right corner by the window had been taken by a man sat reading, just as you would’ve been. You toy back and forth with the idea of going to sit over there as you walk over to the counter.

You order your usual, a peach iced tea, and wait for the kind barista to make it. Your free days, usually, landed sporadically. They normally occurred when your grandmother either had chemo or a hospital appointment and that’s only because she can sometimes be really ill after them and needed you to look after her. Even though Elliot was not a good person by any means, he understood your situation and did help as little as he could.

“Excuse me.” The man looked up from this book at you, “Is this seat taken?”

“Uh. . .”

“It’s fine if it’s not!” Your quick to add, “There’s just no other seats.”

“No.” Your smile falters, “No! I mean that the seats not taken. It’s yours.”

“Thank you.” You drop your tote bag down on the floor, holding your hand out to the man, “I’m YN.”

“Harry.” He shakes your outstretched hand.

There was something oddly familiar about him, but you couldn’t quite place your finger on why. He dressed quite casually, a punny t-shirt that said something about health on it and you didn’t want to seem too weird and bend down to look at what he had on his bottom half but you suspected it was something just as interesting.

You take your book out of your bag and place it on the table in front of you, flicking through the pages until you found the page you had left off at.

As a child you loved to read. Your grandmother always read you a bedtime story before bed and it lead to English being your best subject at school. Whether it be the creative writing aspect, or the analytic — you were just good at it. It was your highest grade at GCSE, an A, and your highest grade at A Level, a B.

You didn’t exchange any more words with Harry the entire time you were there. Periodically you looked up at him, and somewhere deep down you hoped that he did the same for you but you couldn’t be too sure. The book that he was reading seemed interesting enough, something about watermelon, you had noticed. You had a slight suspicion that it wasn’t about watermelon but you could never be too sure you supposed.

A whine almost escaped your lips when you realised that you had to go pick up your Grandmother and your book had just gotten interesting. That was the problem when you read, you could sit and do it for hours and not even look up. It was something so interesting to you that you could immerse yourself in a world different to the one you lived in and slip out of reality for however long and return back to normal as though nothing had happened.

“Thank you for letting me sit here.” You smile as you pack your bag up, “Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

You left feeling sort of fuzzy inside. You hadn’t spoken to the man at all really, but he was kind and certainly handsome with his tousled brown hair and gentle smile. That was probably going to be the last time that you saw him, and you probably should’ve asked for his number at least but you didn’t and that was why you walked away with him laying heavy upon your mind.

The next day, you wanted nothing more than to leave in the middle of your shift and curl up on the sofa. Instead, you were stood in a private room in the back of the club swirling your hips for a man sat upon a chair in the middle.

“You’re fucking fit.” He moans, and you almost throw up in your mouth.

“Thank you.”

You move yourself so you’re hovered over his lap, twisting your hips to beat of the sultry song spilling out of the speakers. If you didn’t need the money, or have a bills to pay you certainly wouldn’t be doing this.

“Fucking sort.” That’s when his hand drops down upon your behind, squeezing the flesh harshly.

You stand up, flipping around so that you’re looking at him, “Hands off.”

“Babe.” He throws his head back, “C’mon I’ve paid bags for this dance.”

“And you pay for a dance, and the rules state no touching.”

He holds his hands up in surrender, “I’m sorry. Won’t happen again, babe.”

“Better not.”

It does, and that’s when you get up and leave. He still has to pay, which is a plus but it just isn’t the best feeling. The job you do isn’t one that people necessarily respect you for, but there are rules in place to help with that. You and the other dancers within the club were human beings and deserved the rights that any other person has.

“You okay?” Ruby presses her hand to your shoulder as you powder your under-eyes, “I heard he was touching.”

“Yeah.” You smile at her through the mirror, “Started behind and they he just full on groped me.”

“Men are pigs.”

“I second that statement.” You laugh, “But you know what they’ll say.”

“That we teased and antagonised them to do it.”

Throwing her a deadpan look, you nod. It was something that you had dealt with for the past six years of your life and even though you did hate it and wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you up every time it happened — you had gotten used to it.

“Did you have a nice day off yesterday?”

“I did thank you.” You smile, “Read a bit. Spent some time with my Grandma.”

“Sounds lovely.” Her face then twists into one that you can’t quite pinpoint, “You didn’t miss much here.”

“The businessmen not up too much?”

“No they paid well.” She nodded, “We just had to watch them wank their micropenises at us.”

You curl your nose up at the thought, “That sounds pleasant.”

“Totally.” She snorts.

“Emerald. Ruby.” Elliot sticks his head into the room, “Get your asses back out there.”

Ruby rolls her eyes and you laugh. Your job certainly wasn’t your favourite but some of the people around you made it more pleasant.

Two weeks later you find yourself sat in the corner of the café down the road from the hospital, your book open in front of you and a peppermint tea sat upon the table in a pot. Your Grandmother’s second round of chemo was slowly coming to the end of its stint and even though you wanted nothing more than for her to be back to the epitome of health, you would miss spending time at this small café.

“Hi.” You lift your head up to see Harry stood there, slightly breathless, “Is this seat taken?”

“It’s yours.” You smile, watching him drop his book on the table.

This time you could see his entire outfit. A white t-shirt with some writing on that you missed, a floral shirt over the top paired with red corduroy flares. You were right the last time that you met him —he did have an amazing sense of style. You, however, bought whatever was the cheapest or on sale that seemed acceptable to wear in public.

“How have you been?”

“I’ve been okay.” You smile, “You?”

“Good, thanks.” He scratches the base of his neck, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Oh.” You have to stop yourself from smiling too much, “I only come when my Grandma has an appointment and they’re usually two weeks apart.”

“Ah.” He nods before his face curls, “I’m sorry if that seemed creepy.”

“It didn’t.” You can’t help the butterflies that erupt within your stomach, “I just thought I wouldn’t see you again.”

“Couldn’t let that happen.” Heat rises up your neck as he beams.

“No complaints about that from me.”

“That’s good.” He rests his hand upon his chest, letting out a deep breath, “Thought I was punching a little over my weight.”

“You’re not.” You cheeks hurt from smiling, “It’s cute.”

He looks down at his book. He seemed so shy, as though he had a confidence to talk to people but once they complimented him or something to do with him it completely changed. It was intriguing. He was already nicer to you than most people you’ve met of the opposite sex in your life and you’re let to learn anything about him apart from the fact that he reads Bukowski and likes black coffee — it certainly wasn’t much to go on.

“How long do we have until you have to go back to your Grandma?”

“Not long.” You sigh sadly, “I’m sorry.”

“No, I understand, it’s okay.” He flashes you a small smile, “Can I walk you back to the hospital?”

You ponder his offer for a second, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

You walk back to the hospital brushing arms with one of the nicest people you’d ever met, and you couldn’t be happier.

“Has your Grandma been having treatment for long?”

“It’s her second round.” You explained, “They originally removed the tumour and it went away but it came back. They caught it quickly and she’s back in bay 11 for three hours every two weeks.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighs, “That must’ve been tough.”

You shrug, “She’s a fighter, I know she is.”

“I don’t doubt she is.” He smiles, “She’s got an amazing granddaughter to stay alive for.”

The walk to the hospital isn’t long enough in your opinion. You speak about a few things, and you learn he does music and that’s when you put two and two together and realise that he’s actually Harry Styles from One Direction. Harry wished he could’ve recorded your reaction when you realised.

Harry had never met someone like you, and he had met a lot of people in his life. You were sweet, and kind and so gentle but also confident and held yourself in such a strong way that he couldn’t help but want to know you, the real you.

“This is it.” You stop in front of the entrance closest to the chemo ward, “Thank you for walking me.”

“It’s no problem.” He smiles, “I hope this doesn’t sound too weird, but can I get your number?”

“Uh. . . yeah.”

“Great.” He beams, “At least now I won’t have to hope you show up at the café.”

You swear you felt your heart burst.

During your shift a couple of weeks later, you don’t notice your phone light up a message. You actually don’t notice at all until you arrived home that night. You had already checked on your Grandma, who was sound asleep in bed, and that’s when you allowed yourself to drop down upon the sofa with a sigh.

Seeing an unknown number pop up on your screen at first had confused you, but once you had looked further into it, your palms started sweating.

Hi YN. It’s Harry. I know it’s been a while but I’ve been trying to figure out what to say. I hope you and your Grandma are well.

Your heart starts to beat faster. The message you had awaited for weeks was here and you had no idea how to act, never mind what too reply back with. The only thing that spiralled around within your mind was that he had been thinking about you.

In your head, you imagined him pacing around in his large house trying to figure out what to send you, just like they do in the movies. You at least hoped that was what he had been doing over the past couple of weeks.

Hi Harry! It’s lovely to hear from you, sorry it’s late. I’m okay, Grandma’s getting there. How are you?

You throw your phone down on the sofa next to you, trying not to giggle like you did as a schoolgirl whenever you were messaging boys. You nearly cried whenever you phone ran out of credit and you’d end up having to run to the store to get a top up in the morning with your spending money and explaining to them what had happened. You were thankful that your upgrade didn’t need that.

I’m okay. Glad to hear about your Grandma. I know this is probably really weird and totally out of the blue, but are you free this weekend? I’m leaving next week for a little while and I really want to see you before I do.

In your head, you ignore the end of the message about him leaving and focus on the fact that he wants to see you. Harry Styles wants to see you. You hoped it was a date, everything pointed it to be a date but you didn’t want get too ahead of yourself.

You haven’t had a boyfriend since your first year of Sixth Form, and the first date you were going on since then was going to be with Harry Styles of all people.

If you pull some strings, work an extra long shift on Saturday and please some of Elliot’s special clients — you may be able to get Friday night off. It was a maybe, but over the next two days you could make it a yes. You hoped that you could make it a yes.

You’ve never, in your six years of working at the club, missed any of your shifts for anything other than your Grandma suddenly falling ill, and those were on rare occasions. You certainly deserved this day off.

I’ll have to check with my boss but I think I could do Friday night? If that’s not a problem for you.

You have to bite your lip to stop yourself from internally freaking out.

Sounds perfect. How about I pick you up at 8?

You wince. It wasn’t as though your were embarrassed of where you lived because you weren’t. You’ve worked hard to be able to pay for the flat and everything in it but there was something about showing it to someone who you’ve only just met and had no intention of explaining your situation to wasn’t on the top of your priority list.

Is there any chance I could meet you somewhere?

Of course. Where do you fancy eating? Italian? Thai?

Italian sounds good.

Great. I’ll send you details over.

Thank you :)

See you then, YN. Sweet dreams.

Night, Harry.

You slept well that night.

“I just don’t think I can spare you Friday.” Elliot sighs, “I’m sorry YN.”

You have to stop yourself from wanting to cry. You don’t use up all your holiday days, and you work way more than you should or that you’re paid for but you don’t complain and you just get on with it. The one time you ask for a shift off, his stubborn ass says that he cant do it.

“Please, Elliot.” You sign, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I just need this day off.”

“And I need my best girl on the floor. Need the best of the best.”

“There are plenty of other better girls than me working here.”

He shakes his head, “You’re the favourite, YN. Need you to be there.”

“Elliot.” You sigh, leaning forward in the uncomfortable seat you were sat in, “I’ve worked for you for six years and I’ve never asked for a day off like this before.”

“Yeah but—”

“—and! I’ve never asked for a day off apart from going to the hospital and you know that.”

“I couldn’t exactly say no to you—”

“I’ve worked every shift you’ve ever asked me to, covered for people when you need it.”

“Stop it!” He holds his hand up to silence you, “Just shut up for a second.”

You clamp your lips shut. If you didn’t need to stay on his good side to get Friday off you probably would’ve said something about how rude he was being. He’d always been rude, but he paid you and the rest of the girls so you all chose to ignore it.

He ponders, and you know the cogs are turning within his brain as he scrolls through his laptop, typing a few things. He takes his glasses off his face and drops them dramatically down on the table in front of him.

“Ruby will cover your shift.”

You let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you!”

“Don’t be thanking me too quickly.” He points his finger, “I need a favour from you.”

“Anything. Well not anything.”

“In a few weeks times there’s a big birthday party coming in.” He explains, “I need you to be the star of the show, do private dances and all the good things like that.”

“Just that?” You ask, knowing that it could be a trap knowing Elliot’s track record.

He nods, “Just that.”

You look at him sceptically, “What’s the catch?”

“No catch.” He holds his hands up, “A few big names are coming, that’s all. A list celebs that have asked to use the back exit.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Let me know the date and I’ll do it.”

You stand up, happy that you’ve managed to get your shift tomorrow off and that you can go on the date you have been excited for since you met Harry and was introduced to the world with him in it.

“Have fun at your thing Friday.”

“Thank you. . .?”

You don’t think you like Elliot being nice to you.

Friday night rolled around quickly and you were thankful for that. After helping your Grandma with her own dinner and into bed, you start getting ready. You curl your hair, brushing it out until its in what looks like effortless waves but are actually quite hard waves to achieve. You do natural makeup, something completely different to makeup you usually wear in one of your shifts. You try to keep all of your features soft, different to how you usually look on a day to day basis. You dress in a long white polka-dotted maxi skirt, paired with a thin long-sleeved jumper that would keep you warm due to the ever changing British weather.

You had done a little bit of research on the restaurant Harry had sent you the address for and learnt that it wasn’t the most expensive restaurant ever, but one that was way out of your price range. It meant that you had to dip into the fund that you keep for occasions where you need a little extra money or you will use in the future when you eventually move out and busy your own place.

The tube was crammed, seeing as though it was a Friday night and the majority of people were either coming home from work and stating to go out for end of the week drinks. You knew that the club would start to become heaving as the night grew and a part of you was thankful that you didn’t have to work today, and you were given a small break from the hell that is working at a strip club.

The restaurant, when you arrived, definitely looked fancier than it had online. The bar stood against the corner wall, the right hand side of the restaurant had booths covering the walls whilst stand alone tables scattered around the rest of the room.

You were surprised when you saw Harry, already sat at the booth in the far right corner. He lifted his hand up in an awkward sort of wave and you couldn’t help but beam at him. He had a shirt, an expensive looking white shirt with a yellow and blue jumper over the top. You hand felt so excited to see someone since when your Grandma went into hospital for her tumour being removed and you couldn’t see her for a few days.

“YN.” He sighs, “Hi.”

“Hi.” You smile, slipping into the booth across from him.

“Was starting to think you wasn’t going to show up.”

“I’m sorry.” You tuck your hair behind your ear, “I underestimated how bust the tube was going to be.”

You can tell he wants to pry but instead he says, “It’s okay.”

His nails were painted yellow, a few of them painted lilac as well. There was something so simple about his nails that you just loved, and if it wasn’t weird you probably would’ve stared at them for way too long for it to be acceptable. You knew he had tattoos, and you could see the cross on his hand and the the anchor peaking out from underneath his shirt and you wanted to see more.

“I like your nails.” You smile, running your own fingers over your own nails underneath the table.

“Thanks.” A blush creeps up his neck, “I did them last night. Sort of calmed me down, I was quite nervous.”

“Nervous for what?”

“This.” He nods, “I haven’t been as nervous for a date in a long time.”

“You don’t have to be nervous.”

In your twenty four years of living, you’ve never had someone say that they were nervous to see you. You’ve been nervous to see and do many things in your life and you hoped that somewhere along the line it would’ve been the same for somebody else and yourself but you had the slight suspicion that wasn’t the case. Hearing those words out loud, coming from someone who you’d never expect it too was special, and you were going to keep that for as long as you physically could.

“I did.” He looks down at the table briefly, “I’ve never liked a girl as much as I like you before.”

“You don’t really know me.”

“I’d like to get to know you.”

That’s what you do. For the rest of the date you don’t stop talking. Even though you’re starving and could eat your fist, it takes you the longest you’ve ever taken to eat your food because of how much you spend it talking.

You’re just about to dig in to your desert when your body physically halts, “Why didn’t you want me to pick you up?”

“I, uh, I—”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t what to! I know I can be pretty invasive sometimes.”

“No, it’s fine!” You take a sip of your drink to swallow down the dryness within your throat, “I don’t live in the nicest building, or in the nicest area and I guess I was embarrassed.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“But I was.” You drop your eyes to the plate in front of you, “I know I shouldn’t have been and that it was stupid but I just didn’t want you judge me before you truly knew me because of where I live.”

“I hope you know now that I wouldn’t have done that.”

“I do.”

You let Harry drive you home. Even though you would never admit it to his face just yet, you really liked him. He was kind, sweet and funny and everything you could ever want in your person. You haven’t said this in a long time but you love the person you are around him and you wouldn’t change it for the world if you didn’t have to.

He stops in the car park outside the building of flats you live in and you can tell he’s thinking deeply about something but you try to not concentrate on that too much.

“I would invite you up.” You laugh, “But I don’t think the sofa in the middle of my Grandma’s flat whilst she snores in the next room is the most romantic.”

He scrunches up his nose, “I can’t say that it is.”

“I’m sorry.” You drop your head to look at your hands that are tested on your knees, “I really wish I could offer you something. Anything.”

“It’s okay, YN.” He uses his finger to move your head up so that you’re looking at him, “I don’t expect anything from you. I hope you know that.”

“I know.”

He hesitates for a moment, and you can feel the finger that was rested upon your chin move upwards so that its upon your cheek. You flicker your eyes closed and just mask in the feeling of his touch against your cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks.

You eyes open as you nod your head, letting out a shaky breath at the sheer surprise you feel at his words.

“Want your words, darling.”

“Please kiss me.”

You close your eyes again and you feel his lips touch yours. It's light at first, but you can’t contain yourself and you end up pushing closer to him, relishing in the feeling of his lips upon yours. Your fingertips grip the collar of his shirt, trying to pull him closer without hurting himself too much on the centre console. Even though you both don’t want to, you pull away as you start to loose breath.

“You okay?” Your chest heaves up and down as he speaks.

“Never been better.” You sigh, resting your forehead against his.

“Good.”

You kiss again, this time its more passionate and you can’t help but let out a small whine as he pulls away. The smug look on his face after hearing that sound was enough to send your stomach doing flips.

You really didn’t want to do this, but you had too: “I have to go.”

“It’s okay.” He smiles, “I understand.”

“Okay.” You reach for the door handle.

“I have to go away for a bit.” He sighs, “I’m writing some music over in America but when I get back, do you want to maybe go on another date?”

“I’d love to.”

He presses one last kiss to your lips and you leave the car, muttering a small, “Bye.”

You feel giddy. As though you’re sixteen again and just come back from your first date with your first boyfriend. It was something you hadn’t felt in a long time and in all honesty, you had no idea how to handle those feelings. You certainly wouldn’t admit that you screamed quietly into your pillow in excitement that night.

You couldn’t wait for him to return home.

Two weeks. Harry was away for two weeks and even though you had only kissed him once, twice if you actually count how many kisses there were, you missed him more than words could explain. You weren’t one to usually message first, so you did end up waiting until Harry had a spare moment to message you which wasn’t as often as you would’ve liked but you couldn’t complain.

You almost felt as though you had been drip fed this new life with Harry in, only to have it taken away quicker than you could blink. It wasn’t forever, and that was probably the thing keeping you sane. This had all happened in such a short amount of time but you wouldn’t change it for the world.

The only thing that limited how far you could take this was your job.

Harry had obviously been curious and during a text conversation in the first week of his week being away — he asked what you did. After having a small freak out you decided to say that you worked in a bar. It was a small, white lie and you hated yourself for it but telling him that you were a stripper just didn’t feel like the best thing to do at that time.

You just weren’t ready to tell him, and that was totally okay.

Speaking of your work, tonight was the night of the big party that Elliot made sure you could come to. The club had held celebrity parties before, so you weren’t entirely nervous but every time someone mentioned it you could feel your heart speeding up slightly.

“Emerald.” You turn to look at Elliot who’s trudging towards you, a bag in hand, “Here’s your new outfit for tonight.”

“New? I thought I’d just wear the one for special occasions.”

“This is a special, special occasion Emerald.” He dropped the bag down in front of you, “Wear this.”

Taking the material out of the bag, your mouth dropped open at the sight of the emerald green lingerie in your hands. It was delicate lace that you feared you’d rip if you weren’t too careful. Putting it on, your breasts slightly spilled over the lace, and whilst your front was covered, the thong back of the lingerie left your ass on full display. It was beautiful, you couldn’t dismiss that but you just hadn’t ever worn something so skimpy before. You pulled your black silk robe over your shoulders, fastened your black heels onto your feet and made your way towards the side of the stage.

The skimpiness of the new lingerie did send more butterflies to the pit of your stomach than you were originally hoping for but it was only another hurdle for you to get over which you knew you’d be able to do.

You heard the music start to play, you slipped your hand through the gap in the curtain and opened it, revealing yourself to the room.

Here goes nothing, you mumble to yourself.

Harry’s jaw dropped at the sight of you on the stage. It certainly wasn’t his usual scene, a strip club, but it was a friend of a friends birthday and he had kindly been invited and he wasn’t about to turn it down. He wasn’t in the band anymore, and certainly didn’t have to hide that he went to places like this anymore, even though they weren’t his favourite.

He couldn’t bare his eyes off of you. The way your body moved to the rhythm of the song, your darkly manicured nails pushed the robe of your shoulders, exposing the delicate lingerie you were wearing. Harry would be lying if he said that his cock didn’t start to stir at the sight.

You. The girl who he thought spent her days reading, and looking after Grandma had a secret persona that he only wanted to explore more.

“My word.” One of the men in the group spoke, loudly so that everyone could hear him, “She’s fit as fuck.”

“To get my hands on her.”

Harry clenches his jaw, and his fist that rested on the arm of his chair. If he wasn’t in a very public place where people could record him, he’d give that man a piece of his mind. He probably would but he’d do it when nobody was around so the man could truly understand what he was saying to him.

“Do you think I could get a dance with her?” The birthday boy asked.

“It’s your birthday.” The dickhead with no morals spoke, “She might give you something special as a present.”

“The rules say no touching.” The words slip out of Harry’s mouth before he can stop them, “So I highly doubt that.”

“I’m sure you’d be saying something different if you were in his position, Styles.”

Harry rolled his eyes and focused his attention back on the stage, watching as you seductively bent down to pick up some of the tips that had been thrown on the bottom of the stage. The song was slowly finishing and Harry couldn’t help but feel a little bit of disappointment bubbling within him.

Harry watched your lean legs as you strutted towards the side of the stage, flicking the long wig on your head over your shoulder, seductively running your tongue over your bottom lip as you pulled the material of the lingerie down from your breasts.

Harry bit his lip, his leg bounced, he ran his hand up and down his thigh. He tried to do everything in his power to distract himself from the rousing within his trousers but he just couldn’t do it. The flimsy material dropped to the floor, your red painted lips curled up into a smirk and you made your way behind the curtain, not showing any of your truly bare skin.

If you hadn’t been imprinted on his brain before, you certainly were now.

You could hear the grunts and groans of happiness, and a few cheers whilst on stage but the lights were so bright that you couldn’t see anything past the first row or so. The tips you had received were good, and you were pleased about that.

You received your robe and bra back from the stage and pulled them back onto your body. Your solo dance was always a hit for Elliot, and you supposed that was why he’s kept you on for so long and if you were honest, they were the easiest to do. Private dances always made you too uncomfortable, and in the six years you’ve worked there there had only been a handful of people that made you feel comfortable when it came to private dances.

“Emerald.” Elliot walks in smiling and you assume everything is swell on the floor, “They fucking love you.”

You nod your head, muttering a small and awkward, “Thank you.”

He hums, “You’ve been requested for a private dance, and he’s promised to pay you accordingly.”

“Really?”

Another hum, “Room Two. I think he’s already there.”

“Thanks.”

He leaves the room, a bounce in his step. You suppose that this is a good thing and he’ll finally get off your back for the time you took off for the date with Harry. You at least hoped.

You checked yourself. You made sure your makeup still looked flawless, your breasts sat perfectly within the material and your arse looked good. You brush through the wig once and make your way towards room two, the smaller of the three private dance rooms which helped it be more intimate.

You smiled at the bouncer at the door, Gerry, a man who looked as though he could kill someone with a single punch but was actually a massive teddy bear. He was good at his job of keeping everyone safe and making sure that the bad eggs that came in left just as quickly.

Watching the door slowly open, Harry felt his heart stop. He had been pacing up and down the room ever since he had walked in, and only just stopped when he heard the creek of the door. He couldn’t believe that you were in front of him, and you certainly couldn’t believe that he was in front of you either.

“YN. . .” He sounded breathless.

“Harry?” He could see your chest rising and falling at a quick pace, “What? How? I thought you were in America.”

He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, “I got back last night.”

“Why are you here?” He can hear the lump in your throat as you speak, your eyes glossing over.

“A Birthday party.”

“Yours?”

“No!” He’s quick to interrupt, “A friend of a friend. It’s not mine. Mine’s in February, and I certainly don’t think I’ll be having my party here. Not that there’s anything wrong with here! It’s lovely! You’re lovely! I’m rambling.”

He was so gosh darn cute and if you weren’t in the middle of a break down, you probably would’ve laughed or at least reacted to his little word vomit. It was probably the quickest you’d ever heard him talk, not that it was hard.

After a few minutes of contemplating what to say, you sigh, “I’m sorry.”

His voice is soft, his features falling, “What are you sorry for?”

“Lying to you.” You drop your gaze to the floor, trying to suppress the tears, “I didn’t want to.”

“Hey, hey.” He walks over to you, placing his finger underneath your chin just like he had done in the car weeks ago, “No need to get upset, I’m not.”

“You should be.” You bottom lip quivers, “I lied to you and I had no intention to retract that just yet.”

“YN.” He rests his palms on your cheeks, “I’m not angry. I’m not upset. I just want to know why.”

“I was scared.” You admit, trying to do anything but look up at him, “I didn’t know what you’d think or if you’d change your mind.”

“Change my mind about what?”

“Wanting too, you know. . .?”

He shakes his head, “I wouldn’t. There’s no reason for me to.”

“I’m a stripper Harry, it gives you full reason to not want to be associated with me.” You lift your hand to wipe your under-eye.

“I’m not judging you, YN, I said I wouldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t be upset if you did.”

“YN.” His voice is stern, more so than it had been, “I don’t care that you’re a stripper.”

“You don’t.”

“No.” He smiles, “I don’t.”

“Fuck.” You let out a breath of relief, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I don’t mind.” He shrugs, “If you didn’t want to, you didn’t have to.”

You had never met someone like him, and no matter how many times he surprised you that was just fact. Granted, you hadn’t had time to date anyone with looking after your Grandma but another reason you didn’t was because of what they would think of you.

You knew that not everyone would be was understanding and lovely as Harry had been, and that was just because of the lovely person he was inside and out. That was the reason you didn’t tell him, because even though you had an inclination that he was accepting but you didn’t know whether that was just a façade or he was like that in real life. You loved that he was like that in real life.

“Can I be honest?” You nod, “I enjoyed it.”

You bite your lip to suppress the smile that threatened to cross your lips, “You did?”

He hums, beaming a smile at you.

“If you wouldn’t mind.” The corner of his lips tugs upwards, “I’d still love to get that private dance.”

You roll your eyes and thwack his shoulder playfully, “If you must.”

“I’ll wait for you.” He nods, “Until your shift is over, if you want.”

“Please.”

“I’ll see you then.”

You hadn’t even made it completely into Harry’s house before his lips were on yours. He pushed you up against his front door before he’d even shut it properly, his lips falling upon yours with a hunger you hadn’t felt since you last kissed him.

Maybe it was his hands rested upon the small of your back, your fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck.

“Can I offer you a drink?” He smirks against your lips.

“Not the priority.” You reply, not bringing your lips away from his.

“Noted.” He places a kiss to your jaw, “Upstairs?”

“Upstairs.”

You follow him up the stairs, your hand rested firmly in his. You’re too distracted by the man in front of you to take any notice of the house or where you were going.

Harry had kept true to his word and waited for you. You secretly wished that you could have recorded the group’s reaction as you walked towards him, a small smile on your face. After bidding them goodbye, the two of you jumped in a taxi that Harry had ordered and made your way to his house, or what you expected to be his house and you weren’t disappointed.

The second you step into the plushly decorated room, you’re kissing again. His hands slide down to rest upon curve of your ass, his ring-clad fingers immediately squeezing the flesh. You groan lightly into his mouth, allowing his tongue to slip through her parted lips. You grip his bicep as he leads your backwards into the room, your calves hitting the bed as he does so.

Your lips part, you fall back onto the bed. You look up at him through your eyelashes, your fingertips reaching to pull the shirt he was wearing over his head. You almost swoon there and then at the sight of the tattoos littering his skin. You lean forward and place a kiss on his lower stomach, just before his happy trail that slips into the band of his trousers.

You bite your lip, grinning up at him.

“What are you planning?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug, “What do you want me to be planning?”

He groans, “Anything at this point.”

You reach forward, taking the button of his trousers in your fingers. You look up, “Is this okay?”

“More than okay, baby.”

You unbutton his trousers, wrapping your finger in the waistband and pulling them down. You can already see the tent in his boxers. You wondered how long he had been like this, you wondered if it had been since your dances.

You blush slightly as you hook your fingers now into the waistband of his boxers, looking up at him. You can’t handle the look on his face, the slight blush but the boyish grin mixed with his curls that had fallen forward upon his forehead. You pull the fabric down, exposing his hard cock. You watch as it hits his stomach briefly, the tip swollen. You lift your hand up, wrapping it around him before giving him a few pumps. His stomach quivers as you do so, a groan escaping him as you wrap your lips around his tip. His eyes flutter closed as you start to bob your head, his fingers reaching forward to grab your hair into a ponytail.

“Fuck baby.” His hips involuntarily buck forward. You sink further down, going as far as you could.

Harry couldn’t believe how good he felt. It had been a while since he had been with someone, and it was worth the wait. You pulled away too soon in his opinion, but the sight of you, all teary eyed and sloppy sent his mind spiralling.

“God.” He bent down and wrapped his arms around your thighs, lifting you up so he could move you further up the bed, “You’re fucking killing me here.”

“Good.” You giggle.

He’s quick to remove your shirt, allowing you to pull your jeans down at the same time. He didn’t expect you to still be in the lingerie from earlier, and if it was physically possible, he swore his cock hardened even more.

“Fuck me.”

He leans forward, pressing his lips to yours again as his fingers fumble with the latch of your bra. You bite your bottom lip as he wraps his around your nipple, flicking it with his tongue. He uses his hand to knead the other one. You can’t help but grind your hips forwards, a feeling bubbling deep in the pit of your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Harry.” You moan, withering under his touch.

He kisses down from your lips, to your jaw, down your neck until he’s littering them all the way to the band of your underwear.

“Is this okay?”

“More than okay.” You whine as he lets out a breath upon the thin material.

He pulls your underwear down, teasing you by placing kisses across your thighs and pubic bone. He’s so close, yet so far from the place that you need him the most. He licks a stripe across your centre, until he wraps his lips around your clit. You can’t help the moans that escape your parted lips as he nibbles and flicks your sensitive nub, her thighs starting to shake as he coaxes her closer and closer to her orgasm.

“Don’t stop.” You thread your fingers through his hair, “God! Harry.”

He pulls away, and you let out a shaky breath as he does so.

“No fair.” You whine.

“Life isn’t.”

“Just shut up and get a condom.” He does as you request, placing a small peck to your lips as he reached over to grab a condom from the drawer beside the bed.

You watch as he rips the packet open with his teeth, pulling the rubber down his length. He presses another kiss to your lips, catching her eyesight once more.

“Are you sure?”

“More than okay.”

He hovers over you, rubbing his tip up and down your wet folds to coax a moan out of your lips. He groans into your shoulder as he pushes in, biting down briefly to suppress the sound.

“Don’t.” You moan, scratching your nails down his back as he starts to thrust in and out of you, “Let me hear you.”

“Fuck.” You squeeze him slightly, “Do that again.”

He speeds up, catching your lips as your hips meeting quicker, the only sound in the room being your skin slapping each others. You slip one of your hands between the two of you, your nimble fingers rubbing your clit.

“Where have you been all my life?” You can’t help the pleasurable giggle that escapes your lips.

“Feel so good, H.”

After a few more thrusts, a couple more circles of her clit and she’s comes around his cock, squeezing him tightly as she did so.

“Fuck, shit, oh god.”

He continues to thrust in and out of you, coaxing you through your orgasm and towards his. He seems to go deeper and deeper until he’s spilling inside the condom, his moans louder than any you had heard before.

“God.” He collapses on top of you, taking a few seconds to collect himself and let you collect yourself, “Haven’t felt like that in a long time.”

“Glad I could be of some assistance.” You push the hair that had matted to your face off.

“You should keep secrets from me more often.’

“I’m never doing that again.”

“Good.” He pecks your lips.

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles x you #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic

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syrenblubs · 3 years

Text

Just Friends?

Matsuoka Rin x Reader

a/n: did i write this during class? yes. do i regret it? not one bit.

this takes place during eternal summer (s2)

also i've never learned how to skateboard (strict parent tingz) but i do want to get into it someday (maybe if i move out for college)

skateboarding experts pls don't come for me

im probably never gonna write for smth like this again because the amount of embarrassment i got from writing this pLEASE THIS WAS LITERALLY ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE A SKATBOARDING DATE WITH RIN BUT NOPE

Word Count: 1.5k

The cool wind, entering from the window, flew past your face, brushing your skin. You laid on your bed, scrolling through the dozens of posts on social media, as you normally do on a late summer evening. Looking through the recent pictures of your friends and classmates, having the time of their lives, you sighed with envy. Your parents were on a business trip overseas, and you had to babysit your little sister until they came back. You couldn't go anywhere without bringing her with you, and since she was still really young, she'd have to sleep early, leaving you unable to go out at night.

As you continued to dwell on your sadness, you heard a ring from your phone, indicating a text message had been sent. Expecting it to be from your parents, checking up on how you and your sister were doing, it was quite the opposite. The message was from your childhood friend, Rin Matsuoka, asking if you wanted to meet up at the skate park, one of your favorite places. Ever since you could remember, you and Rin would go to the skate park, just blocks away from your house, and skateboard for hours on end. Of course, as Rin got busier with swimming, you guys weren't able to meet up as much, often leaving you to skateboard alone or with the other locals who also went there. The last time both of you had skated together was before Rin left for Australia, and it has been a few years since then, so you didn't mind going over there again. The only problem was that your sister would have to accompany you, and who knows how long she'd stay with you until she started nagging you to go home.

"Well, it's not that dark right now. We could just do some tricks on the ramp and be on our way."

Though, it was a bit strange. While you and Rin did reconnect after he came back from Australia and reconciled with the Iwatobi guys, the thought of seeing each other again didn't come up in conversation, at least until now. Seeing as he was the type to plan, this wasn't something he'd normally do. It's possible that this meetup could be more than just a simple reunion.

You got out of your bed and walked over to your sister's room. As she's playing on the tablet your parents recently bought her, you lightly tapped her shoulder to get her attention.

"Do you think you could stay up just a little later than your bedtime? Rinrin wants to see us at the skate park. I'll get your food after if you want."

The moment you said Rin's name, her eyes lit up. Because she was still very young before Rin left for Australia, she didn't get to see him often, but when she did, she'd have a great time talking to him. They were both avid swimmers, with her now being a part of the old swim club he used to attend with Makoto, Haru, and Nagisa. She's the one who came up with the nickname "Rinrin". She nodded her head happily and jumped out of her seat to get ready.

In relief, you went over to your room to grab your skateboard and gear. Almost forgetting to let him know that you were coming, you quickly texted him.

"I'll be there in 10"

_________________________________________________________________________________

In the distance, you could see your childhood friend's hair flow in the wind. As you and your sister approached the entrance, his eyes caught a glimpse of your presence. He noticed that you didn't change that much. You did get taller, almost his height, and he thinks you did get a bit more attractive. Other than that, he still sees the face of a friend he once played with here.

You waved over at him with a small smile, while your little sister ran to his legs and hugged them. Rin grinned and ruffled her hair, bringing his hand to your hair after once you got close enough.

"How have you been s/n? Are you listening to y/n? Are you still swimming?"

He started talking to your sister for a bit, mainly just asking about how the swim club was going and giving her a few pointers and tips to improve. Once he finished, your sister went to the benches and Rin looked over in your direction.

"Ready to go?"

"Hell yeah"

______________________________________________________________________________________

The thrill the two of you got from skateboarding again. It reminded you of when you guys were younger when the only thing you had to worry about was that one math worksheet you were given for homework. Once again, the cool summer night breeze blew past you two as you continued to skate and do tricks near the edge of the ramps. You guys kept at it for a bit, until both of you fell off your skateboards onto the ground while attempting to kickflip.

"That was fun"

"Yeah it was"

Both of you looked up at the sky, an empty void filled with tiny stars. The distance between you and him was just inches apart. He could smell the shampoo you put on while showering before. He took a good look at you, only now noticing how much you changed. You went from being the energetic boisterous child to a rather quiet and reserved teen. He longed to see the old you, one that wasn't constantly pressured by the expectations of your family and society. In the years that he was gone, he wanted to see you, grow with you, and be with you. When he told his homestay parents about this, they told him it was a crush. He didn't want to believe that; you guys were like brother and sister. How could he be in love? As much as he would like to say you were the one friend he used to love playing with all the time, he can't help but think that he could go past that, to become someone more than a friend to you.

After all, the real reason he called you over was not to simply reunite with you but to see if his so-called crush for you would rekindle.

Now he knows it did, and it very much was a crush.

"Is there something on my face?"

Shit. You got him. He didn't want to admit it. Not, when he's literally rethinking his life.

"You know, it's kinda refreshing, coming back here, reminiscing about old times. I know we haven't been together in almost 6 years, but now that we're here, I feel like we're kids again. Just normal kids being friends, you know? Just friends...."

You trailed off without ending your sentence. You wanted to finish it, but you didn't know how it would turn out. You didn't know if he'd take it well. Will he say yes? Can he handle it? Will your or his views on each other change if he accepted? You knew biting the bullet, and just spilling it would be better, but the thought of rejection paralyzed you from doing so. The years you two spent with each other, making memories and having the childhood of a lifetime, were you really going to possibly risk throwing it away just for the sake of feelings that may not even be requited?

Sure, it's been years since your crush on him has lingered on you. You thought by this point you would've already gotten over him, but that definitely wasn't the case. Ever since you came here, that was the only thing on your mind. You just want to get it out already.

"Just friends? Are we really just friends?" Rin whispered in your ear, making you realize. It wasn't just you; he felt the same way. It wasn't infatuation.

"I mean, do you want to be more than friends?" You said quietly. At last, you said it. You laid there, frozen, waiting for his response. As much as you could've just beaten up yourself for saying that, you felt a burden to come off your shoulders, even if his reaction wasn't something you wanted.

"Honestly, I'd like that. If there's anyone I'd like to be with for the rest of my life, it's you." Rin said suddenly.

You were not expecting that, whatsoever. Happiness has now filled your heart more than it did now. To him, years of pent up feelings for one another poured outright in that statement. To you, it was a revelation, a good one at that.

Finally, you looked into his eyes, and he looked into yours. The silence that was once tense like the blazing summer afternoons, was now calm and soothing, like the night sky. He brought his hand to caress your cheek, until your little sister, who you completely forgot about, yelled.

"NEE CHAN WHY IS RINRIN TRYING TO KISS YOU?!"

#free! imagines #free! scenarios #free! oneshot #free! fanfiction #rin matsuoka #rin x reader #rin matsuoka x reader #makoto tachibana #haruka nanase #nagisa hazuki #free! x reader #free!#iwatobi #samezuka #free eternal summer #free! iwatobi swim club #free! rin

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serenasoutherlyns · 3 years

Text

Not a Summer Crush Part Seven

a/n: It's heeeeere! The night before my classes start for the fall. There's a timeskip from the previous part-- Caroline, Alex, and Casey have all been together for about a month and it's the transition between fall and summer. This one features fighting and humor and lots of Jack McCoy. Any and all feedback makes my world!

Part Seven

The weeks passed in late nights spent in the same office, in morning lattes and afternoon runs (that often ended in the kinds of showers that don’t save water, with the almost frantic pulling off of clingy clothing, with breathy “god yes”-es and rushing to the door when either of you heard Alex’s key in the lock). Jack McCoy noted with pride how efficient it appeared your bureau had become since the summer started.

It was important to maintain a good amount of discretion. As progressive as the world may be becoming, you knew that the DA’s office had to keep up appearances; that it wouldn’t be good for you, and Jack (and, by extension, you again) for the media to get wind of your relationship. Besides, you wanted to keep it personal, special.

But oh. The thrill of the honeymoon phase is so irresistible.

A Friday night, one where the air began to have the kind of bite that previewed the coming fall, found you and Alex together in a candlelit restaurant waiting for Casey to join you. You had some sense, choosing a place not normally frequented by the Hogan Place set, in the opposite direction from your apartment. You set your glass of wine beside Alex’s and took her hand in yours, above the table this time. You couldn't resist leaning in, kissing her softly.

“Caroline,” she said as you pulled away, smiling at you with the same look you’d first seen months ago, that you hadn’t known was what it was until you’d seen it over and over as she pulled you tighter into her arms.

“Alex,” you said, enticingly, all but batting your eyelashes. She ran her fingers along yours in apology. “I know,” you said, placing your hands back on the table, leaning back against the booth seat. “We could always meet Casey when she gets to your place,” you said, looking at your phone. “Except she’s almost here.”

Alex laughed lightly. “You’re insatiable,” she scolded you, teasingly. You shrugged, knowing it was accurate. “And I’m hungry.” She picked up her menu.

Across the room, around the corner, sitting at a single table, Jack McCoy returned his focus to his book, trying to convince himself he hadn’t seen what he thought he did.

---

Jack was on high alert at the office. He had been too far away, he couldn’t be sure. And it was such an out of the way place-- he went there when he didn’t want every law student and defense attorney on the island to vie for a piece of his ear. So it couldn’t’ve been them, Jack thought. Who am I kidding? That’s exactly the kind of place they’d go. After all-- Jack knew from affairs.

He wouldn’t have expected this of Alex Cabot, knowing how in love she and Casey were. Though, now he considered the possibility, the two of you seemed to gravitate towards one another in a characteristic way. He remembered seeing her hand linger on your shoulder a beat too long in the courthouse hallway.

Who knows, he’d always expected Mike and Connie would go for it one day, and they still hadn’t. When Erika Keller and Anna Mikhailova had filed their disclosure he could’ve sworn he’d needed to get his eyes checked, having heard the way the two of them could argue. Maybe he wasn’t the best judge of things. Because I’m looking for myself in other people. He leaned in his chair. He’d do the introspection later. For now, he’d do what he could to keep one of his bureau chiefs out of a public scandal. Besides, they were too far away. It could’ve been anybody’s curls bouncing in laughter, could’ve been anyone’s impeccable posture. He hoped.

He made a point that Monday around noon to personally stop by the junior office on your floor, but found only Nick Anderson (who, he remembered, he needed to talk to about a possible change of bureaus) with his head buried in a journal.

“Mr. McCoy,” he said as soon as he realized he wasn’t alone, snapping the book shut harder than he needed to. “What can I do for you?”

“Hi, Nick,” Jack said, a little disappointed that he’d roused the guy from what was clearly riveting reading. “I was just looking for Caroline.”

Anderson’s face fell. Evidently, he was used to that line of inquiry. Poor guy. McCoy remembered the days when he’d given the least helpful junior ADAs piles of nothing to keep them out of his hair. No obvious changes, Jack noticed as he looked around your side of the office. No notes or photos or out-of-the-ordinary gifts. Though, someone needs to show this woman the value of an organized space, he thought. It’d be hard to notice anything among the pile of papers.

“Mr. McCoy?” he heard Anderson say.

“Yeah?” he replied, somewhat irritated.

“Oh um,” he said, what little confidence he had faltering. “I just said she was in Ms. Cabot’s office, sir.”

Jack’s stomach dropped. That may as well be “step one” in the old Jack McCoy playbook, get her in your space as often as possible. Oh come on, Jack. She’s her boss. They’re probably going over witness statements. Right. And how many witness statements did Sally and I review together while I was still going home to Ellen? He swallowed. “Thank you. And you don’t need to ‘sir’ me anymore. You’ve earned your desk.”

“Yes s-- got it, Mr. McCoy.” Anderson returned to his book. Jack continued down the hall.

---

“You really think she’s being honest?” Alex’s question was audible through her slightly-open door.

“She’s our witness!” you said, matching her tone. Somehow, the mood in the office was light even in your disagreement.

“Witnesses lie,” Jack said, surprising the both of you as he nudged his way in the room.

“When it’s in their best interest,” you said, acknowledging him with a nod in his direction. Jack liked how you didn’t let etiquette get in the way of your arguments. “Alex,” you said, pointing your gaze at her. I know that look. “What good does it do her to lie about who she was with?”

Alex fired right back at you, not bringing McCoy into the conversation. “She avoids embarrassment? Guilt? Fear? I’m not putting her on the stand unless we can verify her testimony.”

“Then we’re looking at an acquittal,” you said dryly.

“Because I won’t suborn perjury? O ye of little faith,” Alex responded. Jack caught a playful lilt in her voice. He was liking this less and less with each piece of evidence he uncovered.

“Do you know for certain she’s lying?” Jack said, breaking the intensity in the room.

“No, but--” Alex said.

“Exactly--” you said at the same time.

“Are you certain she’s telling the truth?” He asked. “This is People v Buckman?” he clarified. Alex nodded. You pushed an offending curl out of your eyes. “I would probably put her on the stand,” you smirked, “and when defense -it’s Elsie Campbell, right?- I’d have no recourse when defense tears her story to pieces.” You shrugged, never minding being the first to concede defeat.

“I’ll see if Detective Rollins is up for a coffee break,” you said, grabbing your phone and attache, but, Jack noticed, leaving your cardigan hanging on the extra hook. “Sometimes I wish I’d stayed in California,” you said, “reciprocal discovery would be pretty sweet.”

“Ouch,” Alex said as you walked out of the office. You waved a hand over your shoulder.

“Did you need something, Jack?” Alex asked, glad she’d known him long enough to be casual.

“Nothing,” he lied, and when she looked puzzled, said, “I was actually checking on the Buckman case.”

“I’m in no need of supervision,” Alex said under her breath. “Anything else I can clarify for you?”

Tell me I’m wrong about this, he thought. “No,” he said. “I’m sure you’ve got it under control.”

---

Of course, if Jack McCoy had been a more athletically inclined man, he may have run into you and Casey in the park two days before the restaurant, cooling down from the 5 and a half miles you’d done. He may have seen you tug on the hem of Casey’s tank top, seen her whisper something in your ear that made you blush and laugh, he may have caught the split second her lips met your jawline, seen the two of you heading off for the subway together.

And if he’d seen that first he may have tried to convince himself that it was another red ponytail and another person’s graceful lines. That there were so many people who jogged in that park, that it couldn't have been you.

He would’ve made a point to stop by the juniors’ office, maybe earlier in the day. Nick Anderson would’ve told him you were in Casey’s office and his stomach would’ve dropped. That may as well be “step one” in the old Jack McCoy playbook, get her in your space as often as possible. Oh come on, Jack. She’s her boss. They’re probably preparing for an admissibility hearing. He’d remind himself to schedule a meeting with Anderson for the end of the week.

He’d continue down the hall to find you and Casey sitting together, wordlessly handing one another documents highlighted in different colors. He’d remember the last time he was that in sync with an assistant and an undeniable flutter of recognition would’ve hit him.

But he hadn’t been in the park.

---

Your phone buzzed on the counter. You dried your hands quickly on the dishtowel, you turned off the tap. In the living room, Ashley was gathering the toys and books scattered about. Ramin was late at the office.

1 new message from: Alex to: you, Casey:

Alex: I just had quite the meeting with Jack.

---

“You wanted to see me, Jack?” Alex said, entering his office after most of the lawyers had gone home or

retreated to their own offices for the night.

“Actually, I’d really rather I didn’t need to,” he said. Alex’s concern showed on her face.

“Is this about the Buckman case? I know it’s going to be extra time to look into her statement,

but I really think this could be a break in the case, if she’s telling the truth or lying, so I thought it was justified. I could probably still make the argument without her, but it feels worth it--”

“No, the case is fine. Besides, it’s your case. I-- Alex we need to talk about… it’s maybe a more personal issue,” Jack said, shifting his hands’ position on the desk in front of him.

Alex’s eyes widened. “Are you speaking as my boss or as my friend?” Jack melted, remembering that they were friends, and that he could approach the topic as a friend. Though, usually, he wouldn’t have to confront a friend about their romantic life. Or if he did, it wouldn’t have professional repercussions. Electoral repercussions, he heard a younger, more emotional version of himself say to Adam Schiff 20 years ago. Sorry, Adam.

“Both, I hope, now that you mention it.”

Alex paused a moment, considering what to say. She had an idea what Jack was getting at, but no idea how he had come to that conclusion. He probably has some kind of sixth sense, she thought. “Start as my boss.”

Jack took a deep breath. “OK. I’ll tell you something Adam Schiff told me when I was in your position,”

Alex felt the need to stop him, to find out exactly what he thought he knew. “Wait. Before you reprimand me. What position am I in? What do you think I’m doing?”

“Jesus, Alex. What do you think you’re doing?” he asked. She didn’t answer him. “You’re having an affair with Caroline Haley.” He wasn’t asking her a question, and the disappointment in his voice was wounding. Alex took a deep breath. “You’re not going to deny it?”

“What makes you think we’re having an affair?” She was determined to out-wit him, get him to show her all his evidence before letting go of anything he was unaware of. Under New York law it is the prosecution’s responsibility to disclose any exculpatory evidence, she thought. And a lawyer who represents herself still has a fool for a client.

Jack looked at her blankly. Was she really going to make him spell it out? Well, he’d missed presenting cases. “I’ve noticed that she spends a lot more time in your office than her own,” he started. Alex’s poker face remained unchanged. “Your conversational style is, quite, amiable, ah,”

She couldn’t suppress a smile, then, biting back a laugh. “My apologies,” she said. “All you have as proof of this alleged affair is friendly conversation and spending time together?”

Jack tried to play into her humor. “I’ll remind you Ms. Novak Cabot,” he said, using her married name to see if it got a reaction (no luck), “that adultery is still a class B misdemeanor in the state of New York.”

Alex snatched that opportunity. He opened the door, your honor. “And how many three-month stays do you owe the good people of New York, Mr. McCoy?” He looked caught-out. The upper hand was hers. “Are you sure you’re not just seeing your old habits?”

“You know, it’s funny you should say that. Because after this coming election, I was going to ask you to be my EADA. But you know I can’t do that if there is even the slightest appearance of impropriety.”

“So this is about election results? You and I both know my patience for politics is--”

“Limited, yes. But don’t tell me you’re not the slightest bit interested.”

“I’d have to think about it, Jack,” she said honestly. It seemed to surprise him, which didn’t surprise her. He seemed to forget, often, that she’d arguably done much more important work (and he seemed to forget that Tracey Kibre had turned down the same position more than once, that some people enjoyed seeing their partners and the insides of their apartments every once in a while). “But that’s not why you wanted to talk to me, and you’ve yet to convince me that you have any idea about any affair.”

“Where were you last Friday evening?” Jack asked her, in full cross-examination confidence.

Alex flinched, her first misstep since she’d come in. She wasn’t going to out-right lie to him if disguising the truth would do. However he knew this (if he knew anything), she had no way of knowing how much he knew. “I had dinner with Caroline at a restaurant near her apartment in Brooklyn.”

“A working dinner?”

“I can’t be friends with my colleague?”

“Trilogy isn’t a particularly platonic place as far as I know,”

“You spied on me outside of work?”

“I happened to be there,” Jack said. Alex rolled her shoulders back, trying to let go of some of the anger she had at what felt like an invasion of her privacy, even if it had been public. “I saw her kiss you, Alex. I know.” Alex didn’t answer him. Jack, uncomfortable with the silence, said “I really do understand. I sympathize with what you’re going through, I know it isn’t easy.”

Her frustration gathered itself in her cold fingertips that she realized were gripping the arms of her chair, hard. “Actually, you don’t understand,” she said, quietly, as politely as she could. “You have an incomplete picture of the nature of our relationship.” Jack opened his mouth to argue. “I won’t say any more,” Alex said, certain, “except that Caroline has done absolutely nothing wrong, and if you go after her about any of this, you will have my resignation.” Jack nodded.

“You understand how something like this could look to the public? You understand that your position is at stake?”

“I understand.”

“I mean, just the power dynamic alone, disregarding the infidelity, and I hate to say it, but you know how rampant homophobia still is.” She clenched her jaw, but she didn’t look guilty.

“I know. Now, I’d like you to be my friend for a moment,” she said. “Please.”

He smiled weakly.

“As your friend, I’d tell you not to cheat on your wife,” Jack said. Alex looked serene.

“I won’t,” she said, rising from her seat. “Goodnight, Jack.” She left faster than he could return the sentiment. He’d hoped he had more comforting things to say. And he wanted to know what on earth she’d meant by “the nature” of their relationship. He trusted she’d take extra care now that she knew he knew. It was not going to be a fun secret to keep.

---

She didn’t tell you what the meeting was about, so you knew it couldn’t have gone well. Quite the meeting. You hoped it wasn’t what you thought it was. You said you’d be there soon. You moved through the apartment quickly, leaving the last of the dishes in the sink, snagging your keys off the hook, tossing them along with your phone into your backpack.

“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Ashley asked. You knew he’d been looking forward to catching up on episodes of The Bachelor, and you did hate to disappoint him. You looked up from tying your shoes.

“Alex and Casey’s,” you said. His shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you.” He rolled his eyes. “What?” you asked. “You can watch without me, you know, I don’t mind.”

“I don’t care about the show,” he said, returning to his tidying.

You stood up, crossing your arms. “Something you want to say?” He shrugged.

“No, no. Go have fun,” he said.

“I don’t think it’s going to be a whole lot of fun,” you said, trying to keep the worry buried. “Alex texted, she said that Jack had called her into his office this evening over something.”

“That surprises you?” Ashley said, his voice high-pitched.

You looked at him with your eyes wide. “I’m sorry?” you said, resisting the urge to raise your voice.

“What did you think was going to happen, Caroline?” he said, with a patronizing look that made your stomach turn.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” you said. Two could play at passive aggression.

Ashley laughed bitterly. “I mean, did you not think twice before risking your job, everything you’ve worked towards to be what, the third wheel in a relationship that existed far before you came across it?”

“Ashley,” you warned him.

“I thought you were trying to work on the self-sabotage, I mean, you’ve never even been in a relationship before,”

“That’s not exactly true,” you said. You were starting to feel nauseous. He knew you well enough to know that he was pushing right on all your insecurities.

“That lasted more than a couple months, then, which is hardly anything.”

“I think we’ve gone over that a couple times-- Just because you’re so morally invested in monogamy doesn’t mean it’s for everyone--”

“You really want to be the girl who sleeps with the boss? No, sorry, the girl who sleeps with both of the bosses?”

“It’s-- wow. Tell me how you really feel.”

It was quiet for a moment as the two of you dared the other person to talk first.

“I just don’t think you’re making the best decision,” he said.

“I thought you were happy for me,” you replied, and walked out the door.

---

You didn’t usually ride your bike after dark. It felt right, though, as you went, releasing your nervous (and sad, and angry) energy out through the pedals. Your arms came up in goosebumps, from the chill in the air or the trepidation in your spine. It started to rain.

---

You and Alex arrived almost simultaneously. She was accepting a cup of tea that Casey was offering her when you came in. You were a walking cliché with your hair stuck to the side of your face, shivering. “Hi,” you said, shakily. You hadn’t quite been crying. The insecure part of you felt small, out of place, intrusive: they had this cozy, tidy, warm apartment, mugs of hot tea in their hands; and you were shattering it with the chaos that followed in the wake of your personal life. You were being so selfish, so inconsiderate, bringing your own emotional baggage with you despite Alex being the one having a hard time. For a split second you thought about leaving with no explanation, dashing out almost as soon as you shut the door. Casey held up a mug for you. It was one of a matching set of three.

“Jack thinks we’re having an affair,” Alex said, matter-of-fact, as you slipped out of your shoes and made your way to the counter Casey was leaning against. Alex was pacing, slowly, how she often did when she was figuring something out. You took a sip of your tea, grateful for the warmth, then set it on the counter and rested your head on Casey’s shoulder. She jumped and you laughed, the relief spreading through you. She squirmed as you pressed closer, letting out a squeak at the feeling. You let her go, listening to the quiet creaking of the floor.

“Which us?” you asked, matching the seriousness of the subject again. “All of us?”

“Just you and I,” Alex said.

“How did he come to that conclusion?” Casey asked, knowing there were equal cases to be made for any combination.

Alex stopped moving, pushing herself up to sit on the counter opposite to you. “To begin, he was apparently at Trilogy last Friday night.” The goosebumps threatened to make a repeat appearance. This was your fault.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, your eyes lost in your teacup. “I was reckless.” Out of the corner of your eye, you felt Apollo the duck stare at you accusingly with the stone cold eyes he didn’t have.

“Don’t be sorry. I was there too,” Alex said, meeting your gaze as you looked up. “He didn’t stick around long enough to see Casey.”

“What did you end up telling him?” Casey asked, letting herself be the problem-solver for the night.

“Very little,” she said. “He doesn’t have the complete story. That he should hold off on any judgements unless and until he did.”

“Did it work?” you asked.

“Well enough, I think. You don’t need to worry about your job. I threatened him with my resignation if he said a word to you about it.” Your heart beat faster. Sacrifices for your sake, or the offer of them, made you uneasy.

“You don’t have to put your career on the line for me,” you said, the same shaky tone edging into your voice again. Alex blinked at you, like it was no big deal, like it was the obvious choice. Casey traced circles on your shoulder blade.

“Nobody’s career is at risk, Caroline,” Casey said. “Honestly, imagine the kind of headlines that would break if Jack McCoy fired someone for adultery.”

“I don’t know what’s worse,” Alex said, “Jack’s disapproval right now, or how he might react if we just told him what’s going on. He made it clear his objection had more to do with poll numbers than morality.” Ashley’s words echoed in your head. You really want to be the girl who sleeps with the boss-- both of the bosses? Your fear must have been more obvious than you intended. “What’s wrong?” Alex asked you.

You swallowed. “It’s nothing,” you said, stopping yourself from spilling every anxious thought that came to you. “I’m fine. It’ll be fine,” you said, a real smile making its way out of you. You held your hand out for Alex’s and squeezed. She slid off the counter, letting herself be pulled in, letting whatever you weren’t saying stay unsaid for that moment. She also jumped when she first felt your wet clothes against her skin.

“Now, let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” she said. Your mouth was open in amusement as she started off down the hall. You began to follow but Casey stopped you briefly, hooking her ring finger into your belt loop.

“Whatever he said, it isn’t true,” she said, starting to run her warm hands underneath your shirt.

“How did you,” you said, feeling seen. “I didn’t say anything about it.”

“Give me some credit,” she said then kissed you gently, her body warming yours. “I’m very perceptive.” She gripped the bunched-up body of your t-shirt and you slipped your head through the top. Casey placed her palms against your ribs, holding you steady.

“Thank you,” you said, deep and low, as you kissed her again. The two of you, now almost equally damp, joined Alex. Six hands moved slowly, purposefully. Nothing felt desperate, fleeting. Only warmth filled you.

---

taglist: (I'm tagging a couple of my moots who aren’t on the taglist, let me know if you’d prefer I didn’t!)

@addictedtodinosaurs @nocreditinthestraightworld @cmmndrwidw @hi-i-1 @lesbianologist @readerhermit @@alexlivdoncas @laezzzi @imaginaryoperagloves (thank you for your help!!) @swimmingstudentchaos891

#Alex cabot #casey novak #calex #casey x Alex #calex x eader #Alex cabot x reader #casey Novak x reader #not a summer crush #law & order: svu #svu #svu fanfic #jack mccoy #this was the most fun I’ve had with this fic since ch. 3 lmao #comment on ao3 if you love me #Oh emi never stop posting fics at 2 am #also: I kind of hate the last line of this so. Enjoy #this should be the second to last chapter I think?#The girls r fighting tho :( by which I mean ash and Caroline

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siriuslystarbucks · 3 years

Text

Every ‘I Love You’

Written for Starbuck Ship Week run by @prongsfoot-discord Day 1: Time Loops. I’ve never done a time loop fic before lol

Pairing: James Potter/Sirius Black

Tags: AU: No Voldemort, Love Confessions, Time Loop, Angst, Confusion, First Kiss, Communication, Getting Together

Summary: One night, James tells Sirius that he loves him. He does it again the next night. And the next and the next, and Sirius doesn't know how long he's been living this day, but he would like it to stop, thanks, because he still doesn't know what to reply.

Read below or on AO3

James woke him up that morning. Not by shaking him awake-- which was something he'd done plenty of times because he claimed that having to be the only one up was a horrible fate-- but by whistling. He was in an overly cheerful mood this morning, and he was whistling tunelessly as he walked about the room, getting ready.

Sirius pulled his curtains open but didn't otherwise try to rouse himself. He was perfectly comfortable where he was.

"Sod off with that!" Moony yelled, throwing a pillow at James.

It hit him harmlessly in the side. James paused whistling for long enough to pick it up, then he started whistling again-- louder, this time, to prove a point about how untouchable his happiness was-- and he walked over to Moony's bed, then started whacking his legs with the pillow. "You've got to get up if you want breakfast," he said, practically singing the words.

Sirius grinned, too tired to join in on the teasing but enjoying it all the same.

James looked over at him, as if sensing that he was watching, and his smile widened. He winked, whacked Moony one more time, then dropped it at the side of his bed to continue getting ready.

"Ready for another thrilling day of classes?" James asked him as he got closer.

"As thrilling as they ever are," Sirius responded around a yawn. Not one of his best replies, but James was smiling at him like it was award-winning.

Classes were as boring as advertised, and that night, they were down in the common room, tucked away on a couch together, doing their homework.

"I love you," James said. He looked at Sirius with hearts in his eyes. He was so sincere that it made Sirius's chest hurt.

"I-" Merlin, what was he going to say? "I'm sorry," he said by rote. It's what he said to the people that confessed their feelings to him. Half the time he didn't even recognise them, so it wasn't hard to let them down easy. Even for the people he knew, it wasn't that difficult to tell them that he was sorry, but he didn't feel the same. Looking at James was completely different. James meant something to him; James meant the world to him, and as soon as he said the word 'sorry', James looked crushed.

"Oh. I- no I'm the one that's sorry. I thought... I mean, I thought that you were- well, I was wrong. Doesn't matter." He turned back to his book. His shoulders hunched up towards his shoulders as his face burned red.

Normally, when he was upset, Sirius would try to make him feel better. Since he was the cause this time, he thought it would be for the best that he didn't try to comfort him.

After a minute of awkward silence, James muttered, "I'm calling it an early night."

"Goodnight," Sirius mumbled, just as quietly.

He shuffled away and up the stairs to the dormitory, looking defeated.

Sirius felt like scum. He well and truly did. He didn't know what he could've said to James that would've been better, but he did feel bad about it. By the time he went up to the dormitory-- after giving it plenty of time-- James's curtains were drawn, and he seemed to be asleep.

The next morning, Sirius knew that the air would be fragile. He pulled his own curtains open first thing, but he took plenty of time getting ready. He didn't want for James to think that he'd rushed to get away from seeing him or summat.

When James woke, he seemed... cheerful. He was even whistling tunelessly to himself, just like he'd done yesterday. Sirius only remembered that he'd been whistling yesterday because it had annoyed Moony so much that he'd-

"Sod off with that!" Moony yelled, throwing a pillow at him.

It hit James harmlessly in the side. Just like it had yesterday. James paused whistling for long enough to pick it up, then he started whistling again as he walked over to Moony's bed and started whacking his legs with the pillow. "You've got to get up if you want breakfast," he sang.

This was just like yesterday. Sirius frowned as a feeling of dread crawled over him. It was like yesterday had never happened.

James looked over to Sirius with a grin, but it faded after a few seconds.

Okay, so he'd just been being paranoid. James remembered what happened yesterday. He'd just been trying to pretend like everything was still normal. Sirius sent him a weak smile.

"Are you alright?" James asked, walking over in concern.

"Yeah. I just didn't want to make things awkward for you. After last night."

The concern was replaced with confusion. "What do you mean, last night?"

"When we... y'know, talked. In the common room."

"We weren't in the common room last night. We went for a run in the Forbidden Forest, remember? Went straight up to bed when we got back." James wasn't messing with him. His expression was one hundred percent serious. He wasn't joking around or playing a weird prank. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Fine," Sirius said automatically. What he 'remembered' from yesterday must've been a dream. A horrendously vivid dream, but a dream all the same. "A little tired, I guess."

...But if it had been a dream, then why had Prongs and Moony's interaction been the exact same this morning?

"I love you," James said.

"Why?" Sirius asked. He was curious. He honestly couldn't wrap his head around it. The first time James said it, he'd been blindsided. It still didn't sit right with him. There was a twist in his stomach when James said it. Three little words, and he was taken entirely out of himself. James said 'I love you' and Sirius had no confidence, not for himself, not for James, and absolutely none for their relationship. He was second guessing all of it, and without James being able to remember it when a new day dawned, he couldn't move past it. He'd gotten used to James listening and giving him advice.

James smiled faintly at him when he asked. "It's not any one thing."

"No, but... why me? Surely there's someone else out there that you'd rather be with."

"I can't imagine being in love with someone else," James said, which made the knot in Sirius's stomach squeeze tighter. "Isn't it what everyone wants? To be with their best mate?"

"I don't think so," Sirius said honestly. It sounded... very James, but not like anyone else. He couldn't imagine Moony or Wormtail wanting to date their best friend.

“I love you,” James said, looking over at Sirius earnestly. It was the first time he’d ever said it. At least, as far James was concerned, that was true.

Sirius had been living this day over and over. Each Tuesday night, no matter what he did in the day, James would confess to him. He’d done this at least ten times already, and he still didn’t know what to say in response.

James’s expression fell a little at his extended silence. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“What would you like for me to say?” He wasn't careful with his tone. It didn't have any of the fondness that he felt for James. He said it flatly, like he didn't care about James in the slightest.

Sometimes, James got sad. Right now, he got angry. His expression hardened. "Fine. Be like that. You could've told me flat out that you didn't feel the same." He slammed his textbook shut and grabbed his bag. It looked like he was juggling all his items as he stormed out of the library.

Sirius sighed, putting his elbow on the table and leaning into his hand. He'd chosen the library this time with the specific hope that James wouldn't want to say anything when they were so far away from Gryffindor Tower and didn't have an easy way out.

He went to bed that night, keeping his head down and feeling guilty.

He knew that in the morning, James would be whistling like nothing happened, and he'd have to sit through the same exact lectures again. They'd been boring the first time he heard them. One repetition had been annoying, but he was convinced he was going to claw his eyes out before he managed to get out of this.

"It's a time loop," Sirius said. He didn't like going to Professor Dumbledore, but he was desperate. He'd skivved classes and spent all day in the library. He'd spent several days in the library. Over a week, possibly; it's not like he was keeping count, but it occurred to him too late that maybe he should've been trying to keep track. He'd been through every book about time travel, time loops, and time related curses. There was nothing useful. He had a better chance of getting answers by talking to Dumbledore than he did sneaking out and trying to find more books elsewhere.

"Curious," Dumbledore said. His brow had furrowed slightly, and he was looking at Sirius intently instead of with his usual casualness. "I know that you dabble in a certain amount of- ahem, experimental and high level magicks. Is there anything you've done that might have triggered this? The smallest footnote in an old ritual can have side effects."

Sirius shook his head without needing to think about it. After reliving the day for the third time, he had considered that option. Unfortunately, things had been quiet on the Marauders side of things. They hadn't done anything in the week-- or even month-- leading up to this stupid Tuesday that they hadn't done a dozen times before. "I'm sure that it's nothing I've done. I haven't done anything new leading up to this for weeks."

"It's... possible that someone else is reliving this day, and you were caught up in it."

He shook his head again. "Everyone else is the same. They only change if I do." He'd checked once, just to be sure. Of course, he couldn't remember everything he'd done the first day, but he'd tried his best, and it had been enough for him to be convinced that he was the only one that knew they were doing this more than once.

"I imagine you'll have to analyze your day then, Mister Black."

Sirius grimaced. He knew that it was his last name, but he hated being called that.

"Whatever the answer is, I think it'll come from your own actions. Not a spell or ritual."

"But this is a magical problem."

"Humans possess a kind of magic all unto themselves. Something that has nothing to do with wands or potions. We have the power to change, at will and deliberately."

Sirius blinked. He hadn't wanted to have a counseling session, he'd wanted a fix to this.

"I believe that when you find the change you need, the loop will be broken."

"Seriously? That's it?" Sirius asked, not bothering to be nice. It's nice like the Headmaster would remember this in the morning, after all. "That's your great advice? Change myself?"

"A simple answer, but not an easy one," he said, apparently unbothered.

"I love you," James said.

"So what? You're a sodding teenager. You'll fall out of love in a month."

James looked at him like he didn't recognise him. "Are you joking right now? Because if you are, it's not funny."

"And if I'm not?" Sirius asked, looking at him challengingly.

James didn't answer for a moment. He just looked at Sirius as sadness creeped into his features. "I don't know what I did to make you care so little about me."

"I-" Sirius startled, taken aback. "Of course I care."

"You're not acting like it. I don't want for you to lie. I'm not asking for you to claim that you return my feelings when you don't, but I expect for you to act like my friend, to act like the person I fell in love with." James paused, considering as a thought occurred to him. "Are you feeling alright? You've been acting off all day. I thought you already suspected how I felt, so I thought it would be best to come out with it, but I was wrong, wasn't I?"

It was kind. As kind as James always was to him, even when he didn't deserve it. If Sirius thought that he would wake up tomorrow to a new day instead of the same day, yet again, then he would latch onto this. He would tell James that he was sorry, but yes, that's what it was; he wasn't feeling well and he'd been on edge all day.

But this wasn't anything new, and they would do some horrid exchange tomorrow like nothing had changed-- because as far as James was concerned, there was absolutely nothing that had.

"I don't know what you want me to say, James," Sirius said, exhausted. If James would just tell him what he wanted to hear, then he could do that next time and hopefully it would break the loop. It was, after all, the only big event in this day. "Tell me what you want me to say, and I'll say it."

"I don't know either," James replied, but Sirius could tell it was a lie. He was heartbroken though, and it was Sirius's fault, so he didn't push.

He could work on it the next morning.

"Let's play hooky today," Sirius said, one hand on James's arm and trying to smile like he didn't have a care in the world.

James grinned back freely. "Sure."

It was nice to finally have a break from classes, but Sirius finally let himself relax around James again. Ever since that first 'I love you', Sirius had been tied up in knots worrying about it. He didn't want to hurt James's feelings, but by trying to push him away, all he'd done was make himself miserable.

They had fun that day. Sirius pressed a kiss to James's mouth before they tried to sneak back in.

"Sirius," James whispered, when they were still standing so close together they could feel the other's warmth. "If we're doing this-"

"I don't know if we are," Sirius said. He kept his tone gentle, but there was no denying the panic that shot through him. "You're my best mate, but I don't..." He didn't know if he wanted to date James. If he was willing to take the chance.

James swallowed thickly. "Right. You can think about it. I've got time."

James might not know it, but right now, they had nothing but time.

They got caught sneaking back in and got detention for a week for going off the grounds and skipping their classes. It didn't matter. The only one who would remember in the morning, was Sirius.

Sirius had done this enough times that he knew the look James got before confessing. Before James had a chance to say it this time, Sirius asked, "Do you ever get scared that you'll ruin something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like us. Our friendship."

A beat. "I do. Sometimes. I think any risk would be worth it, in the end."

"Even if you don't get the answer you want?"

James frowned. "What're you getting at?"

Sirius didn't look up at him. He looked at his own hands, twirling a quill between his fingers absently. "I know how you feel about me."

Silence.

He still didn't look up at him. He wasn't sure he wanted to see his reaction. "And it terrifies me. The way you look at me sometimes... it's like I could bugger up everything under the sun and you'd still love me."

"That would be true even if we were mates and that's where my feelings stopped," James said quietly.

"And that doesn't scare you?"

"You feel the same for me."

That was- sod it, that was the truth. Sirius was beyond confused for how he felt for James ever since this time loop had started, but he cared about him. He loved him. He would do anything and everything for James if only he knew how. "I do," he admitted. "And it's terrifying."

"What about it scares you?"

"I don't know. I've never felt like this for anyone else. I feel like it could destroy both of us, and there would be nothing left."

"Rather bold of you to assume that we'd let that happen," James said. "What makes you think either of us would be willing to lose our friendship?"

"Fair enough," Sirius said, finally looking up so he could give James a smile.

James looked subdued, but he smiled back. 'How much you love me scares me' wasn't the response he'd been hoping for. Sirius knew that, even if he didn't know what James had actually wanted. Probably 'I love you too', but despite the countless times he'd confessed, Sirius had never been able to get him to admit that that's what he wanted to hear.

It's part of what confused him, and a big part of why it terrified him. To anyone else, what Sirius said just now would've been crushing. James looked a little sad and disappointed, but not heartbroken.

He wished that he could keep this time. No recrimination, no hard feelings. James knew that Sirius knew how he felt, and he also knew that Sirius was beyond confused about his own feelings.

He sighed and went back to copying down the passage from the textbook. It wouldn't last till morning, but it gave him something to do while he kept James company.

Sirius woke up the next day, wondering how the hell he was supposed to get through this. He didn't know how to look James in the eye like everything was fine when he was so utterly lost.

He pushed his curtains open and rolled to his feet. He was so out of it that he didn't notice things were different until he ran into James in the loo. He frowned.

This wasn't right.

James was supposed to be happily whistling to himself and annoying Remus, not standing morosely in front of the mirror as he tiredly brushed his teeth. "Morning," James mumbled.

Sirius blinked.

"You okay?"

"Are you? I thought you'd be in a better mood."

James's brow creased. "Did we have a different conversation last night than the one I remember?"

Last night. Oh Merlin, he remembered. "What day is it?"

"Wednesday? You know, the day that comes after Tuesday?"

The relief Sirius felt was instantaneous. He didn't think about it, just wrapped his arms around James and rested his head against his shoulder. "Thank Merlin."

"Are you still asleep or summat?"

"More like I just woke up from a nightmare," Sirius muttered. A beat. "I don't know how you even know what love is. How do you know liking me a friend was different than fancying me?"

"I don't know," James said, which wasn't the most encouraging thing Sirius had ever heard. "I thought about it, and it seemed like it fit. Don't look at me like I have all the answers, Padfoot. I'm guessing most of the time, too."

"You always seemed so sure," Sirius said without really thinking about it. James had told him that he loved him a hundred different times, and not once had Sirius thought that he wasn't one hundred percent certain about it.

"What?"

Sirius shook his head.

That night, he asked James if he could kiss him instead of going for it without warning, and James said yes.

"So," James said, clearing his throat, "do I get an Acceptable?"

"Don't be stupid. You get an Outstanding."

"Even though you're not sure how you feel?" James asked.

"I know how I feel, I just... don't know if I'd call it in love or not. It might be more like halfway between in love and just loving you. How should I know?"

James only chuckled. "Well, whatever it is, it's good enough for me. If you're wanting to give this a try, that is."

"I am." He'd spent so many days trying to avoid James's confession, and all he'd needed to do was think about how he felt, not worry about what James wanted to hear him say.

#prongsfoot #marauders #james potter #sirius black #fanfic #my writing

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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

Text

He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, slightest fluff, cursing, physical harm mentions, lowkey little yandere obsessive hints, smut, 18+, daddy kink, sad boi Bakugou :(

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Summary: Bakugou’s been going through hell ever since the breakup. He’s been so lost without you. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win back his Teddy bear. Everything and anything for the love of his life.

*Everyone is of age for legal consent (which is 16 in Japan, if you are uncomfortable with it please move along, thx<3)*

A/N: Bakugou is a little OOC but the main thing in the beginning starts with fixing up Katsuki a little bit. So sorry if you don’t really enjoy it all that much<3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Melancholy music bounces off the walls of the dark room. The river of tears that flow down his once perfect porcelain skin is everlasting. As he lays in the soft bed, staring at the ceiling, he thinks about all he could’ve done better for you. In his hand, the same framed picture of you both that he’s held onto every night ever since the horrible incident. Y/N L/N. Like a song that’s stuck on loop. It’s the only thing that runs through his mind.

The door swiftly opens, and much to his disliking, a massive amount of light now enters the former den of manliness pit of depression.

To show his displeasure, Bakugou rolled himself in the blankets, covering his entire body in them and being the picture inside with him as well. With different circumstances, Y/N would’ve thought it was cute or adorable, but it wasn’t Y/N that opened the door.

“Really Bakubro?” The blonde’s best friend spoke.

Eijirou Kirishima. The best friend of our dearest sad boy. He’s been letting his Bakubro crash in his dorm room because Katsuki refuses to clean his own. It looks exactly the same as it did on Valentine’s Day. Just a little different.

Rose petals were dead and dried up on his floors, candles were nearly melted to the bottom as they lay everywhere in the room, the curry was thankfully thrown out by Kirishima claiming that he could smell the spoiled aroma all the way from his room. But the presents, letter, and new gear stayed in the exact same spots. Bakugou didn’t feel worthy enough to be blessed with all the stuff but he was oh so desperate to be worthy. Worthy of your time, your love, and you in general.

Bakugou let out a grumbled whine of displeasure. He could feel the disappointment and concern radiating off his friend. As Katsuki poked just his face out of the covers, he was met with the expression that represented those two things.

“You can’t keep living like this bro,” Kirishima began, “You can’t keep hallowing in sadness in my room. I wanna help you, but you gotta help yourself too. Ever since you and Y/N split-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted.

“We didn’t split, she left me!” The blonde cried.

“...Right, okay. Well ever since Y/N left you, you’re not the same. You stay in here, playing the same damn sad tunes, covering yourself in my blankets, crying all day, and holding onto that picture! You haven’t even been to class or training! Shit man, you don’t even come out of my room to eat food! I gotta bring your plate here just to make sure that you’re properly fed. You’re a mess Bakugou. And not even the hot kind!” His best friend was right. He was a mess. And not even the hot kind.

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do shitty hair?” Bakugou said while dragging the covers over his face once more. Inside the blanket he held onto the picture as if it were actually you.

The fake red head snatched the covers off of his friend’s body and forced him up.

The said friend didn’t take too kindly to that and growled in displeasure.

“What the fuck Kirishima,” Bakugou said, a little to calm and chilling.

“Dont give me that bull Katsuki. You gotta get her back. I would say move on, but it’s clear you can’t.” Kirishima said while rolling his eyes.

Bakugou mirrored the action and said “yea no shit genius. I can’t and won’t move on.”

“So then go get her man!” Kirishima yelled

“And how the fuck am I supposed to do that? Huh?!” Bakugou was so confused. In what way was it going to be possible to win you back?

“Figure it out! Look Bakugou, I’ll be here to help you along the way, but you gotta figure this shit out on your own. This is your relationship here, if you want it as bad as you claim you do then prove it. You want Y/N back? Then fight for her, idiot!” The blonde’s eyes seemed to go wide.

Two words stuck out to Katsuki during his friend’s little speech. Prove it. Fuck yeah he will! He’ll prove to the whole damn universe how much he wants you back. More importantly, he’ll prove it to you and win you back.

The iconic Bakugou smirk reappeared on Katsuki’s face. Kirishima took it as a good sign. “Alright shitty hair, you want me to prove how badly I want Y/N back. FINE!” The two friends pulled the iconic bro hug to seal the deal.

(You know? That shit that guys do where they high five and pull each other in with that one hand for the quickest hug and pat each other on the back? You know what I’m talking about.)

“Welcome back Katsuki.” Kirishima gladly stated. “Now get the fuck out of my room man, I’m sick of sleeping on the common room couches and you reek. Take a shower. And get your own clothes from your own room.”

As Kirishima pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door, it hit Bakugou like a bus. This would be Katsuki’s first challenge. Going back into the room filled with the torn love.

As Katsuki opened the door holding onto the picture, he felt his heart sink. He saw the damage. Melted candles, dried petals, the gifts and letter. Even the nasty smell of the spoiled curry still remained. As Katsuki gathered the courage to walk in and place the picture on the messy nightstand, it’s like the room was holding onto some sad emotions. Heartache and regret filled Katsuki’s chest. He couldn’t believe how fast it happened. He thought he would at least have a minute or two before he felt the pain again. Man, did it hurt like hell.

Katsuki dashed to his closet grabbing the first things he saw. He grabbed his shower container that held all his soaps and cleaning utensils and ran out the room, shutting the door. Once out, he let out a breath of relief.

“...after I clean myself up, the room’s next.” Katsuki said with determination as he walked towards the boy’s community showers and bath house.

When the hot water hit his skin, he felt a sense of calm. It wasn’t the same as the warmth of Kirishima’s blankets. It was better. The water and hot steam completely engulfed him in relaxation. The water washed away not only the dirt and grime, but also some of the tense feelings. For a moment, he felt at ease.

As Katsuki walked out the bathing area now fully clothed and dried, he made his way back to his room. He stood there, staring at the knob until he felt he was ready. Once he opened the door, the emotions hit him once again. Like a wave of sadness washed over his entire body. Finally, he stepped in.

First things first. Open up these windows. Let out that disgusting air filled with spoiled curry and sad emotions. When Katsuki took a breath a fresh air, he felt so alive. Much better than he has in days.

Now, we gotta move stuff. Katsuki picked up his dirty laundry and put it in his closet to wash later. He moved all his presents up off the floor and onto the bed. He swepted all the dead petals and toss them in his trash can. He threw out all the ruined candles and sprayed the room with air fresheners. He fixed up his bed and placed the picture frame back on his now cleaned nightstand. Next to it, a lit candle that smelled of caramel.

Katsuki took a seat at his desk. He was back to thinking about Y/N and all that he could do to win her back. As he checked his clock, he realized just how late it was. Kirishima came back to him at the end of class and training which was around 6. He spent an hour talking to Katsuki, and then Katsuki spent 4 hours cleaning himself and his room. It was 11:00 now. Way past his usual bed time. He’ll figure things out in the morning.

Katsuki smiled to himself as he layed in his own bed. He was finally on the right track again and one step closer to getting his teddy bear back. He turned to the picture frame, and grabbed onto it, hugging it while he slept. Katsuki was getting better but he wasn’t whole again. He needed Y/N to help him sleep alright, so holding the picture at night will have to do. He couldn’t wait till he woke up in the morning. Tomorrow he had school, he’ll get to see Y/N’s beautiful face for the first time in awhile, but before that, you bet your ass he’s waking up extra early to come up with a plan.

——————————————————————————

The next morning

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

The blonde smacked his alarm button before he rose up and stretched his body. Today was the day. He’s gets to see Y/N again. Bakugou just sits in place staring at nothing. Just taking 2 minutes to regain full consciousness. Once he’s set, he’s up and getting ready. It’s 4 in the morning now, so he begins to strategize.

Katsuki is pulling out easels and white boards. Pulling out notebooks and writing down facts. What Y/N is interested in, her favorite hobbies and foods, where she likes to spend her time, what she could need help with that Bakugou could assist her with. He’s also writing down the highlights of their relationship and what she seemed to enjoy best about him. He’ll be keeping that as a reference for when he needs to reassess on how he should treat her better. He will do better this time. That’s a promise to himself and you.

After half an hour of slightly struggling, he reaches out for help. Now at 4:30 a.m, here was the blonde knocking at his best friend’s door.

Rock music is blasting, sweat is flying everywhere and punches are being thrown at a hero. Not just any hero, Crimson Riot! As Kirishima continues to spar with his idol, he’s interrupted by a banging sound.

*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*

“The hell?” The younger red head says. Soon his idol began to fade away.

“Crimson Riot! Hey are you okay sir?!” But it was too late, the man was gone. Now the whole room was waving around. Did Kirishima accidentally mistake his giant jug of water for vodka or something? Soon he was left in nothing but a black abyss. And then....he fell!

“Shitty hair.....Ei....KIRISHIMA!”

“AH!” The red head screamed as he shot up from the bed, head-butting his best friend right then and there. Great, a perfect dream. Ruined.

“Ah, shit!” Bakugou said in pain as he held his now throbbing forehead. “What the fuck?”

“That’s my line Bakugou,” the red head sighed, “Did you break into my room? Jeez man, what the fuck? What are you doing here at.....4:38 a.m?!?!? DUDE!”

“I know, my bad okay? But..I could use some help.” Bakugou whispered the last part so Kirishima had no idea what this man just said.

“What bro?” Kirishima asked.

“I said....I could use some help.” The blonde repeated.

“C’mon man, you’re gonna have to speak u-“

“I need your help, alright?!” Bakugou finally said. Kirishima sighed. His bro really couldn’t wait until later?

“Bakugou, you know I’m always down to help you out but this is too early man. Can we just-“ the blonde quickly added on to what he was previously saying.

“Please.”

Kirishima’s eyes shot open after he closed them to drift off back to sleep. Did the Katsuki Bakugou just ask for help by saying please? This must be extremely important.

“......alright. You got me, I’m up. But if I’m gonna be up at 4 in the morning, others are gonna be helping us too.” Kirishima bargained.

“But-“ Kirishima cut him off

“But nothing. Besides, I’m drowsy in the morning so I wouldn’t really focus all that well. And we’re just going to the people we can trust.” The red head explained.

“Fine.” The blonde gave in. So there they went, gathering the other members of the Bakusquad (minus Y/N) to help Bakugou win back his girl.

As the 4 sleepy heads sat down on Bakugou’s floor infront of the whiteboard he wrote on, The blonde began to explain some of his plans.

“So I was thinking of treating her real nice all day until she takes me back and we become friends again, eventually leading to our relationship, but then I realized she’d be into a fake me and we all know I can’t pull the nice guy act forever. Then I thought I’d spoil her with all of the things she desires, but money can’t buy you love. So I thought I could-“ Katsuki quickly noticed the long period of silence other than his voice.

There, were his 4 friends sleeping in a dog pile in the middle of his dorm room floor, completely ignoring everything he’s been saying.

Bakugou sighed and grabbed a small “heroes weekly” issue sitting on his desk, rolled it up, and wacked his friends in their heads.

“You idiots...WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Ahh, welcome back Gremlin Bakugou.

As his friends came back from the dead, they all complained.

“Aww c’mon Bakugou. We’ve been at this for an hour already, it’s 5:40.” Sero said while yawning.

“I don’t care. You idiots offered to help so here you are.” Bakugou said while turning to face the board again.

“We didn’t offer shit!” The bakusquad simultaneously replied.

Mina let out a groan while rubbing her eyes open, “Look Bakugou. We really want you and Y/N to be happy together, we really do, but maybe it’s for the best if you guys don-“ Mina was cut off by Denki slapping his hand over her mouth.

As she looked at her electric friend, she saw a nervous expression on his face. She followed his gaze and saw the back of an angry and almost insane looking and shaking Bakugou.

Hearing Mina say that he should let Y/N go triggered something in his brain. But hearing her say they wanted the couple back together enlightened him too. His mind got the two mixed up.

‘Everyone wants us back together. Not just me. So...then we are back together. Yeah. Y/N is still mine’ the now insane blonde thought to himself.

“....Ok well, time to go, get some sleep, see you idiots in the morning!” Bakugou said while pushing the group out of his room. Once they made it over the threshold, he slammed the door.

With an insane plan in mind, Bakugou checked the time and saw he could take at least a good hour long nap before he had to get ready to leave for school. And that’s exactly what he did. So he jumped into the covers, grabbing onto the picture and drifted off into sleep.

——————————————————————————

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

Bakugou’s alarm rang once more, and again, he slammed it shut. He stretched, got up outta bed and changed into his uniform. That power nap really well rested him, but it also must’ve fucked up his brain even more.

‘And now it’s time to go see my beautiful girlfriend,’ he thought to himself.

After Mina’s comments last night, it hit Bakugou with a great realization. Everyone wanted him and Y/N back together. Not just him. So why not give everybody what they want? Sure maybe Y/N might not completely want it but she’ll learn how to love Bakugou again. Everyone’s happy. And so, Bakugou was convinced that him and Y/N were back together.

At breakfast, Bakugou ran down to already see the Squad up and eating.

“Why the hell do you losers look like death?” He asked while grabbing a cup for his orange juice.

“Well we were all trying to sleep, but after what happened this morning, we couldn’t.” Mina explained.

“What happened this morning? There was nothing big except you guys helping me out.” Kirishima really couldn’t believe it. Had his dear friend not even notice his weird ass trigger moment earlier?

“Alright whatever. Anyway, wheres Y/N?” Bakugou asked after he finished his cup.

“Oh, she just left. She had an early breakfast and went for a quick walk.” Mina said.

“You planning on talking to her today Kacchan?” Denki questioned him.

“You damn Spark Plug, of course I’m gonna talk to my girlfriend today. Fucking idiot.” He said as he grabbed his bag and walked out the kitchen.

“.........Huh?” The entire squad was left in confusion.

‘Had they gotten back together this morning? Did she really accept him back that fast? What the fuck is going on?’ They all thought.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?” Kaminari cried out as he pulled at and scruffled his hair in confusion.

Ah Denki. Always saying what everyone is thinking but the only one ballsy enough to idiotically say it aloud.

——————————————————————————

As she walked to class, Y/N hummed a little song to herself. She enjoyed her walk as it helped clear her mind from all the recent events. Her breakup with Bakugou really took a toll on her. They were together for almost 2 years (EVER SINCE JUNIOR HIGH) so of course the split hit her hard. He accused her of cheating and burned her. So much for trust, right? Not only that, but the burn left a tiny scar. Usually, due to you having a regeneration ability as part of your quirk, Phoenix, the scar should’ve healed up. Maybe the emotional damage caused it to permanently mark itself in you. Oh well, whats done is done. And now it’s time for class.

When you walked though the door, you were expecting a normal day. Ever since the split, you usually got their a lot earlier before anyone else so you could sit, do a little reading, sketch out a little drawing, or just rest your eyes until the bell rang. Except this time, when you opened the door, someone jumped on you for a hug.

“Babe! There you are you little dumbass. Jeez, I was looking for you everywhere.” Bakugou said as he let go of the hug. “I’ve missed you, haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“Uhm, you said babe??” You spoke with a confused and shocked voice.

“Yeah, I called you babe? So what? We always call each other that. You are my girlfriend after all.” He said so casually as he walked to his seat.

THISMANSAIDWHAATTT

“Uh, Bakugou-“

“Katsuki.” He deadpanned.

“Bakugou, we broke up.” You stated while walking up to him.

“Mm...no we didn’t.” He once again so casually said.

“Wha- I- we- you-....HUH?!” You stuttered out.

“Y/N-“

“L/N!” You corrected.

“Y/N. We didn’t break up you dummy, we only had a little set back and that’s fine. All couples do. But thankfully you forgave me and we’ve moved past it,” he began as he pulled you into his lap, “besides, everyone wants us back together including us so why not make it easier for everyone.”

You began stuttering out none sense right there on his lap. You were in such shock and utter disbelief that he said all that bullshit. Well maybe he was right about one thing. Everyone did want you guys back together, including you both, but that’s besides the point! Y’all broke up! He needs to accept it.

“Baku- no- I- we-“ and before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

And for some reason, you didn’t push him away. Granted you didn’t accept it either, but you slowly melted into it. The kiss was passionate and slow. It wasn’t sloppy, it was very controlled, but it was just a lotta lip and tongue. The whole thing sent butterflies to your heart and stomach. Oh how you missed moments like these with Katsuki.

He readjusted you on his lap so that you were now straddling him. His hands travelled down to your ass as he gave it a nice squeeze, one that made you moan into the kiss. Your arms went straight to his neck to pull him in for more and he took it as an invitation to start. The kiss began to get a little rougher. More tongue and teeth, both of you extremely desperate for the touch from one another. With your cunt pressed onto his crotch, he slowly thrusted up into you as you grinded down slowly on him. You both started breathing heavier and letting out little whimpers of ecstasy. He could probably feel your now soaked panties. One hand left your ass and came around to the front. He pressed on your soaked pussy through your damp underwear and it caused shutters to go through your entire body.

You began pressing down into his hand, desperate for more friction and Bakugou noticed. He moved your panties to the side and slipped in one finger. This was rewarded with a louder moan that caused Katsuki to smile into the kiss. He knew you and your body so well. He was determined to treat you right and get you to fall for him one more time. As his finger felt around your velvet walls, he slipped in another one, receiving an even louder cry of pleasure. You broke off from the kiss to throw your head back. Katsuki saw this as an opportunity to attack your neck. To mark you up and let everyone know you still belonged to him.

“K-Katsuki. Don’t...don’t stop,” you panted.

“I won’t princess, I’ll take care of you.” He smiled.

Without warning, he shoved in 2 more fingers. You were so loud and Bakugou was so proud. You were gonna let everyone know what’s happening and he was excited.

He lifted his head to whisper into your ear as you continued to moan and sigh.

“Well aren’t you just a little slut. You want everyone to know how well daddy takes care of you? You want them to hear you scream in pleasure?” His words went straight to your cunt that was now welcoming in his 5th and final finger. Completely fisting you now, you let out loud cries.

“S-uki, .....ah, AH YES! Mm, s’too much!” You cried out. You couldn’t help it, you loved him. You knew you did. Even though what he did was wrong, your body took over and your mind turned off. You fully succumbed to his wishes.

You let your feet hit the ground to stand yourself up a little bit and fall down onto his fist, meeting the thrust of his hand moving in and out of you. Watching the show, Katsuki couldn’t help but stare in delight. His hard on growing bigger and bigger each second as he bit his lip to hold back his sounds. Watching you bounce on just his fist did something to him and brought out a feral beast. He snapped.

He pulled his fist out of your aching pussy and sat you down on his desk. He stood up infront of you and tore your delicate panties off.

“Katsuki-“ you were silenced with a smack to your ass

“That’s not my name, teddy bear. C’mon now, you know exactly what I wanna hear.” He said while caressing your thighs.

“..Yes daddy.” You bashfully said.

With a kiss to your cheek he praised you.

“Good girl.” As he began to unbuckle his belt, you looked around the classroom.

“D-daddy. Someone’s gonna see!” You cautiously stated.

Katsuki reassured you with a kiss to your lips, “We’ll be fine princess, I promise,” he said while placing his tip at your entrance. You whimpered at the thought of him inside you again, it’s been so long. You were almost nervous. That is until Katsuki place a finger under your chin so you could face him in his eyes.

“I’m gonna take care of you, so don’t worry.” And with that you slowly nodded. And he finally began to press into you.

With just his tip in, you let out a breathy moan. He was bigger than you remembered. He kept pressing and pressing until he was fully inside your warm and tight hole. You both let out a moan at the feeling of each other.

“Daddy, please move.” And he did as he was told. With a steady pace set, he thrusted himself in and out of you. Both of you moaning louder every second. While you were enveloped in the euphoric feeling, Katsuki was struggling to hold back the beast inside of him. That is until you came up to his ear.

“Fuck me like you mean it, daddy. I won’t break, I promise.” You said in his ear and Katsuki swore he could hear your smirk. Gripping your ass and continuing his pace he spoke.

“Don’t be mad when you can’t walk for the next week,” he smirked. With that, he slammed himself deeper, harder, and faster inside of you. His tip hitting your cervix. You let our screams of pure pleasure and he did the same.

“Oh yesss...shit daddy..so big..”

“F-fuck! Oh you like that? Yeah princess? ...oh shit baby your pussy takes me so well. Y-Yeah, your tight little cunt takes this big cock so fucking well,” he moved faster inside, exploring you completely. His hands went straight to your shirt and and ripped it open. You had a few buttons fly everywhere, but you didn’t care. He pushed your bra up and let one of your mounds fall into his hand. He squeezed it tight to release a generous moan from you. He then dove into the valley of breast to mark your chest. You held onto the back of his head and tugged at his hair and he growled at he feeling, enjoying every second of it.

“Oh yess princess just like that. S-shit. Oh fuck yes...oh you’re mine,” he went deeper inside as he spoke.

“Fuck! Daddy yes! Right t-there! Oh my god..yess,” you cried out.

“Can you feel that. Oh fuck, can you feel my dick in your gut?” He moaned out. Katsuki went to grip the edge of his desk as you kept your hold around his neck, causing him to somehow move faster. He went up to taste your lips once more

“I love you....so much princess...you hear me...Mm, your mine,” he said between kisses and ended with a smack to your now red ass.

His words had you squeezing his cock. He knew what was coming.

“Aww, is princess gonna cum? You gonna cum on daddy’s dick?” He teased.

“Mm...p-please daddy. Please let me cum,” you said while throwing your head back. Katsuki only smirked at this.

“Not yet~” he pulled out of you, leaving you a whiny mess.

“N-no! Daddy please! Please let me finish,” you said while holding onto his shoulders, inches away from his face, pressing your chest to his. Your words caused his “little” friend to grow even harder and Katsuki only smirked and looked down at you.

“Dont worry teddy bear, Daddy’s not done with you yet.” He yanked you off the desk and pressed you down onto it, with your chest to the desk. Then he slammed back into you, returning to the fast pace again.

“Fuck yeah..oh god look at this ass. Nice and round, all red for me,” he said while pounding into you.

He gave your ass a good few smacks, countered with a thrust each harder than the last before going to lay his chest on top of you to whisper in your ear.

“You wanna be a good girl for daddy? Huh, teddy bear?” He asked.

“Mmm, yes! Yes I’ll be good, just please!” You cried out. He reached his hand over to rub on your clit. Your body began to shake with pleasure.

“Then cum with me.....NOW,” he said, and that was all it took for you to release the white liquid. As you came you could feel his hot release filling you up to the brim. He cried out in pure pleasure while you did the same.

You both stayed in that position for a bit, and you could feel the mixture of both your release dripping down your inner thighs. Soon, you felt Katsuki lower himself to kiss your neck.

“You did so good princess.” He calmly said to you. It was relieving, and you loved the sound of his voice, but you couldn’t help but feel a little off at this whole ordeal.

Katsuki pulled out of you and watched how his cum covered and filled your entire pussy. He smiled at the sight and went to grabbed some tissue on Aizawa’s desk to clean you and himself up.

He tucked himself back into his pants and you rebuttoned your shirt the best you could and flipped your skirt back down. Since Katsuki tore your panties you’d have to go commando at least until you got back to your room. You watched as Katsuki went to throw away the tissues and your torn underwear into the trash can. When he made his way back to you, he held you in his arms and attempted to kiss you. But you turned away.

“Hey teddy be-“

“No, Katsuki. Please don’t call me that.” You said while looking down. Katsuki felt his heart hurt a little. You’re always gonna be his teddy bear, why would he ever stop calling you that?

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked you.

“Us. This. Katsuki, what happened today should not have happened.” You said

“What?” He was so confused and a little hurt.

As tears start to fill your eyes, you did everything you could to not let them fall. “Suki, we broke up. You accused me of cheating, you burned me! So for us to come in here and just have sex like nothing happened is wrong.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry for what happened. Seriously, after what I did it destroyed me. But please listen, I lov-“ you cut him off again.

“I know!.....I know you do Katsuki.....and I love you too Suki. So much,” this brought a smile to his face. A true, genuine smile that you loved so dearly.

“But I’m scared.” You added on. This made Katsuki’s smile drop, worry and concern fill his eyes.

“Of what exactly?” He asked you while gently holding onto your hand.

“.....You.” This shocked him. His own teddy bear feared him. Heartbreaking.

“I’m scared of the lack of trust that you have for me. And not only that, but your quirk too. Katsuki I know you’re one of the best students here at UA, but I know you’re emotions can get out of hand too. It’s clear that when you’re not in control of your feelings, your quirk can lash out. The evidence is right here,” you turned you arm that he was holding to show him the scar he left on you.

Now this really hurt Katsuki. He loved marking you with his love, not with his anger. The fact that he did that to you sent his mind into a frenzy. Until he felt your touch on his cheek.

Holding onto his cheek with your soft hands, you spoke reassuring words. “Katsuki, you were right about two things. I do want us to be together again and I do forgive you,” and with that, Katsuki leaned into your touch. Holding onto your hand that held his face, he released a single tear he didn’t know he was holding and closed his eyes in relief and satisfaction.

“But I can’t be with you again.” Your words caused him to open his eyes and stare at you in shock and fear. “At least...not yet.”

Whew, his heart rate went back down. Oh the rollar coaster of emotions this poor boy was currently on.

“Yet?” He asked hopefully.

“Suki, I’m still trying to fix myself, and it’s clear that you need to fix yourself too. I really want to be with you, but we both need time to grow for each other. I can’t leave you. I know for sure that in my heart, you’re always gonna be the one I run back to, but I don’t want to run back to someone who could possibly hurt me again. I want to come back to you knowing that when we are together again, our relationship is secured.” You explained.

A silence filled the air. You both stared at each other for what felt like forever. Nobody else in the world. Just you and him. He then pulled you in for a tight hug. As he held onto you, you could feel hot tears hitting your shoulder, and quiet sobs left his voice along with a hitched breath every now and then. Katsuki was crying.

“....I promise you. I’m gonna get better for you. I’m gonna be worthy of you and your love and it’ll stay that way for the rest of our lives. You and me. Together. Im gonna do whatever it takes to get you back and I won’t stop at anything until you’re mine again. I swear I’ll treat you better than I ever did before. As long as I know that you’re coming back to me and me only, I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes teddy bear.” He said into your neck with his arms tightly wrapped around your waist.

“I know you will Suki. And I promise I won’t make you wait too long.” You said while hugging him back.

“You better not.” The blonde said.

“Don’t forget though, I’m always yours. And just yours.” You reassured him.

“......Can we at least make this a little easier for me and say we didn’t split. We’re just on a break. A small break?” He said, now looking directly in your eyes while still holding onto you.

You put his worries at ease with your gentle smile. “The smallest break, Suki.” You softly laughed as you both went back in for another hug.

“........I like it better when you call me daddy,” the damn devil said while smiling.

“Shut up you horny idiot.” You chuckled.

‘I can’t wait to be yours again,’ you both thought

You both stayed there in each other’s embraces until the world faded away. It was just you and him. Together. You were both no longer lost. You weren’t at your destination yet, but you were on the right tracks. One step closer to each other. One step closer to love.

A/N: There’s still a little more I wanna add to the story, so there will be a part 3 to close this little short story. Sorry if there were any spelling mistakes. Thank you guys so much for the love and support. As a new writer I never expected to grow so quickly so I truly love each and every one of you bear cubs! Sorry this was so long, I hope you enjoyed! 💗🧸

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multifandomwriter56 · 4 years

Text

Devilment Mustn’t Win

A/N: I know, another Shelby!Reader; but I just love writing them. Hope you like it. Also, I got the title idea from S1E1 when Polly tells Tommy she sees his mother’s common sense and his father’s devilment fighting each other.

Summary: Y/n runs away to her sister’s to get away from Tommy. Her plan to get away from her brother doesn’t even last a full twenty four hours.

Characters: Ada Shelby (Thorne), Tommy Shelby, Shelby!Reader, Karl Thorne

Warnings: language, angst, spoilers for the beginning of s3 even though this is set about a year or more after that

Word Count: 2,430

Y/n slowly opens the front door of her sister's home. She tiptoes through the hallway, hoping Ada is asleep.

She freezes when she hears a gun cock in the study. "Ada, it's me."

"Y/n, get your arse in here!"

The teenager groans at her sister's stern voice. She is not in the mood to answer questions.

Just as she enters the room, she hears the voice of the last person she wants to hear from.

"Fuck Ada, you knew it was her." Tommy lightly teases, but his eyes narrow at his youngest sister.

"What the fuck, Ada? You promised!"

Ada sets the gun on the table. "I didn't call him."

Y/n huffs. Why can't her brother just leave her alone for one night? Her eyes narrow when he points at the couch. "No. I'm going to bed."

"No, you're not. You're going to fucking sit and tell me why I found you missing this morning." Tommy demands, still pointing at the couch.

Ada rolls her eyes at her two siblings who are not having a staring contest, neither one of them budging. "Y/n, sit. Just get it over with."

Y/n thought about making a run for it, but she figured her sister is right. She might as well let her brother lecture her tonight instead of barging in tomorrow.

So with one last defiant glance at Tommy, she sits on the couch. "I'm not going back."

"Bloody hell." Ada mutters as a shouting match breaks out.

"YOU'RE A CHILD!!"

"I'M SEVENTEEN, NOT A BLOODY CHILD!"

"STILL NOT AN ADULT!!"

"ADA IS."

"Oi! Don't bring me into this." If she knew it would actually make them mind, Ada would've pointed her pistol at them.

"She already did when she came crying to you this morning."

"I wasn't crying!"

"Stop! Just fucking stop!" Ada shouts as she storms over to her sister. She grabs Y/n by the ear, forcing her to stand.

Tommy's eyes narrow when the eldest of the Shelby sisters comes for him. "Don't you fucking dare." He growls.

Ada ignores him and grabs his arm, pulling both her siblings through her hallway and up the stairs. She stops at the door to the bedroom Tommy uses when he stops by for one of his rare visits.

"Breakfast will be at seven."

"For fuck's sake, Ada."

"Tommy, breakfast will be at seven."

Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose, his eyes close. After a few seconds he drops his hand, nodding his head. "See you at seven."

Y/n watches in amazement as her stubborn ass brother opens the bedroom door, letting himself be sent to bed like a child.

"You have to teach me how to do that. Ow!" Y/n whimpers when Ada yanks on her ear.

Ada rolls her eyes when her little sister gives her the kicked puppy look. "I'm sure Tommy's done worse."

"I'm not going to run, Ada. Please let go of my fucking ear before it fucking falls off."

Ada obliges the teenager. "Honestly, you're as bad as him."

Y/n rubs at her ear as they make their way to her room. "Well, he did raise me, Ada."

"Yeah, and I regret not being more involved with your upbringing every fucking day."

Y/n turns to her only sister, pulling her into an embrace. "You helped."

"No enough." Ada pulls back, her eyes wet with unshed tears.

"Maybe, maybe not. But you're here now. Just in time too." She looks over her shoulder to make sure Tommy isn't trying to listen.

Knowing what Y/n's doing, Ada grasps her hand into hers and pulls the teenager into her room before shutting the door behind her. "You were saying."

Y/n tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "I like a boy."

Ada exhales a short giggle before getting control of herself. "Oh please tell me he's not a Peaky Blinder."

"No, he's not." The smile disappears. "Would it be a bad thing if he was?"

Ada mentally scolds herself as she rubs a comforting hand on Y/n's arm. "No, it wouldn't." She sighs when her eyes catch the time. "We better get to bed. Don't forget, breakfast-"

"At seven. I know. I won't be late."

The sisters hug and then the eldest leaves to go to her own room.

***

Y/n groans at the banging on her door. "Fuck off!" She freezes when she hears a young kid's giggles. "Shit, shit, shit." She whispers as she scrambles out of bed and pulls on the trousers she was wearing last night.

She opens the door to find a very amused nephew. "Hey Karl, let's not use any words your Aunt Y/n just used, okay?"

"Shit."

"Fuck, you heard that."

"Fuck."

"No, don't say that." Y/n's starting to panic. Her sister is going to kill her.

"You and Arthur had the exact same conversation when you were that age."

Y/n snaps her head to the side, her eyes wide and pleading for her brother's help. They may be at each other's throat at the moment, but Y/n will not hesitate to ask her brother to get her out of the sticky situations she seems to always get herself in.

And Tommy will never refuse to help his sister, no matter how angry he is with her.

He crouches down so he's eye leveled with his nephew and turns the child’s face towards him with his hand under Karl's chin. "Are you allowed to use those words, Karl?

"No, Unca' Tommy."

"Then don't use them against your aunt. Understand me? Don't say them anymore."

Karl nods before wrapping his arms around Y/n's neck. "Sorry, Aun' Y/n."

Y/n smiles, returning the embrace. "I forgive you, Karl."

The two siblings watch their nephew run towards the stairs and stops. He glances at them before slowly making his way down the stairs.

Tommy snorts. "Thought I was going to have to chase after him."

Her smile turns into a cheeky smirk. "Like you did with me when I would run down the stairs?"

He straightens, offering her a hand. "I still do."

Y/n takes the offered hand. Her amusement drains as she remembers why they're here in the first place. "How much trouble am I in?"

Tommy clenches his jaw, the anger from last night rising. "Let's go downstairs, Ada's waiting." He turns on his heel and starts for the stairs.

Y/n's shock by the change in her brother. She knew he wouldn't be happy when he found her missing yesterday morning; but why is he this angry? "This can't be as bad as the time I shot Moss in the leg."

"Y/n." He warns, pausing on a step when she continues.

"No, I don't understand. Why are you so angry with me? All I did was take the train to London and spend the day with my sister."

"Except you didn't." Tommy snaps, marching back up the stairs and towards his sister. "You didn't fucking spend time with Ada, did you?"

"During the day, yes." She tells him calmly. She's seen his anger explode enough times to be able to stay this calm. "I did leave the flat later that evening."

"And where did you go, eh?"

"I was with some friends at a pub." She knew he knew she had been drinking last night. Not enough to get drunk, just enough to feel it.

"Friends?"

"Yes, I do have friends, Tommy." She tells him bluntly. "I met them when you sent me here to get away from Small Heath. You know, when you slapped me across the face and said you wished I was never born. Remember?"

Tommy sighs, closing his eyes. That may have been a year ago, but the guilt is still there; and clearly, his sister still hasn't forgiven him. "Y/n-"

"I know. You're sorry and you didn't mean it. You were grieving Grace's death and I didn't help the process." She regrets bringing it up when Tommy opens his eyes and she can see the guilt eating away at her brother's tiny soul.

"Tommy I-"

"Do you want to live here? Do you-" Tommy pauses, really wishing he hadn't lost his lighter last night while searching for Y/n. "If you would rather live here with Ada and away from me, I won't stop you."

Y/n's not sure how to process his words. On one hand, she's excited about the idea of getting away from her brother's overbearing protection; but on the other hand, his question stabs her in the gut. Does he not want her around anymore? Did she finally push Thomas Shelby too far?

Maybe he would be happier without her. He wouldn't have to constantly look for her, protect her from others and herself; and he could focus on actually taking care of his kid, not his rebellious sister.

"Y/n, I'm not tryi-"

"Yes." She interrupts; not wanting to hear him pretend to care. "I want to stay with Ada."

***

"Hey, I was wondering if I was going to have to come get you." Ada teases as Y/n walks fully into the room. "I thought Tommy was awake. Where is he?"

"He went back home."

Ada frowns at the monotone coming from her usually dramatic sister. "Why? I figured he spent half the night rehearsing his lecture on leaving without his permission." When she doesn't get a reaction from the other Shelby, she starts to worry.

"Y/n, what's going on?"

"Can I live with you?" She refuses to look at the other woman, knowing the tears in her eyes will fall.

"Yes, of course." She moves closer, rubbing her palms up and down the teenager's arms. "Please tell me what's going on."

Y/n finally looks at her. "I'm going back to bed. I'm sorry. If you'll save me some breakfast, I'll eat it later."

Ada watches as her sister's spirit breaks in front of her. What happened since she left Y/n's room last night?

She calls for Y/n to come back, but she acts like she didn't even hear her.

A few miles away, a heart is breaking. He’s losing his sister. He pushed her too far this time.

She was right, Thomas. She wasn't even gone for twenty four hours. His mother's side scolds.

But she could've been kidnapped or killed in that short amount of time. Rebuttals his father's side.

You taught her how to fight. She wasn't purposely putting herself in danger. Not like when she joined the fight against Billy Kimber and was shot in the arm. His mother's side argues.

Tommy pulls over, his mind racing too much for him to pay attention.

He regrets suggesting that she stays with Ada. What the hell was he thinking? It was never wise to leave the two Shelby women alone for long periods of time.

Ada may be more mature now, but he has no doubt Y/n can talk her into doing anything the little devil deems necessary.

And he doesn't want her to leave. He loves having Y/n around. She may be his sister by blood, but with the age gap and him basically raising her (with Pol's help), he sees her more as a daughter than a sister.

"Why is that so bloody hard to admit?" Tommy mutters aloud, his words only reaching his ears and the wind's.

Deciding he needs to swallow some pride, he turns the car around and heads back to the streets of London.

***

"Y/n, please let me in." Ada begs as she stands outside the teenager's room. "What is going on? Why are you so upset?"

"I think I know why."

Ada's eyes narrow at the man. "What the bloody hell did you do?"

"Can I try?" He motions towards the door with a nod.

Ada shrugs her shoulders. "Why not?" She steps back, letting her brother take over.

"Y/n." He calls, knocking twice. "Open the door. I need to talk to you."

No response.

"Y/n, come on. Open the fucking door."

Still no response.

"Are you really going to force me to apologize to a bloody door?"

He grins when he hears a muffled, disbelief snort.

"Oi! I'm serious! Wouldn't you rather see your overbearing, overprotective, bastard of a brother apologize in person; instead of hearing it?"

He takes a step back when he hears the click of a lock being released.

"If you're fucking lying, I'm slamming the door." Y/n growls.

Tommy nods, the seriousness of the situation weighing back down on him. "I am sorry, Y/n. I should have never suggested you come live with Ada."

"Hey!"

"No offense, Ada."

"Why did you?" She needs to know why he even said it.

"I thought it would make you happy. I thought it would be better for the both of us. But-" He slowly lifts his hand and gently cups her cheek; internally relaxing when she doesn't flinch away. "I was wrong. So fucking wrong. I will be devastated if you don't come back to Birmingham with me."

"If?" She questions.

He huffs, his limit on being open is almost to it's point. "I'm not going to force you to come with me. It's... It's your decision."

He inhales one finally breath. "I'm mostly sorry for how I treated you a year ago. I was out of line."

Y/n literally watches as her brother's walls build themselves around his heart and the vulnerability drain from his eyes.

But she doesn't care.

He let the walls fall and the vulnerability rise for her. Her! Y/n Shelby, his baby sister.

So only hesitating for a second, she wraps her arms around his torso. "I forgive you." She smiles when she physically feels the tension leave his body. "And I'm sorry too. I know I've been a royal brat lately."

"Can't deny that."

The two siblings turn to their other sibling, the one smiling like an idiot with tears streaming down her face.

"Looks like I broke the two toughest Shelby's in one day." Y/n sasses.

And just like that, Ada sees her sister's spirit returning to it's full weight.

Tommy groans, pretending to be annoyed. "You couldn't give me a fucking minute without the sass, eh?"

Y/n smirks. "Have to keep you on your toes, brother."

The two older Shelby's easily read into the real meaning of that last word.

Father

Forevers: @beautycinders @desiredpoison @ravenoussss @simonsbluee

#ada shelby x sister!reader #tommy shelby x sister!reader #shelby!reader #ada shelby #tommy shelby #peaky blinders

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mc-lukanette · 4 years

Text

The rock star life wasn't what Luka thought it'd be, though he supposed he could attribute it to his father constantly talking it up and raising his standards so high that nothing could've competed with them. It wasn't that he hated going on tours or playing for crowds, but there was definitely something wrong that he couldn't put into words.

Juleka at least seemed sympathetic to his concerns once he'd gotten back from his recent tour, and he chuckled when she threw him some money to solve the problem, insisting that he eat his sorrows away for now and worry about details later. They'd both planned to visit their mother to celebrate his return, so it was only appropriate that he be in higher spirits for it.

Rose was happy to give him the address of what was - according to her - "the best bakery in Paris," with Juleka non-subtly implying that the money she'd given wasn't only for him. Thoroughly amused, he complied, leaving to follow the directions to said bakery with his phone.

He felt lucky to have not run into any fans on the way there, hoping that the same would go for the way back. The last thing he wanted was to have his boxes of baked goods accidentally knocked over and ruined.

As he saw the bakery in the distance, he was surprised when he noticed that it had been right next to his and Juleka's old school. He distinctly remembered there being a bakery, but the name Rose had given him hadn't rung any bells. He checked his phone out of curiosity and confirmed that the name had been changed since his sister had been in the school, replacing the "Tom & Sabine" with "Dupain-Cheng."

With that mystery solved, he headed for the front door and opened it up, smiling at the chime of the bell that announced his entrance. There weren't any other customers around, leaving the lone worker to look over and notice him: a woman, probably around Juleka's age, dressed a little nicer than he'd expect and seeming to be in the middle of making something.

At the sight of him, she gasped and covered her mouth. "Y-you're—Luka Couffaine?!"

He flinched, expecting a fangirl moment, but instead, the girl blushed in embarrassment and ran away from him. She went over to a nearby towel, cleaning her hands of flour, then put the towel back and checked over her clothes.

"Sorry," she whined, glancing up at her hair and fussing over it. "I wasn't expecting any customers for a while."

She took a breath, then strutted over to the counter with the fake demeanor of a businesswoman. Placing her hands delicately on the counter's surface, she flashed him a shy smile, blushing as she asked, "Um... how may I help you?"

Oh, she was cute. That was Luka's entire train of thought, and he hadn't been able to catch it before his mind had already put it forth for him to both acknowledge and agree with.

"Ah—" He cleared his throat, only now realizing that he'd never asked Juleka what she wanted to eat.

"Do you need a drink?" the woman questioned, looking at him worriedly.

"Oh, no. Thank you though," he replied with a dismissive wave. "That was—I need to ask my sister what she wants."

"No problem!" She giggled. "It's not like you're holding up the line."

Really cute.

He tossed her a smile, then fished out his phone and quickly texted Juleka, asking her what he should be ordering. He knew he could've called her, but he preferred having something written to hand off instead of having to be the middle man between the Juleka on the phone and the woman in front of him.

Setting his phone down on the counter, where he'd see it once Juleka texted him back, he then turned his gaze back up. "So, you know me?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm actually a huge fan, and I have all of your albums," she replied. "Buuuuut, I've dealt with a lot of... over-enthusiastic people in my life, so I know what it's like. I'd hate to make you uncomfortable." A beat of silence passed, and she playfully added, "Plus, I'm on the clock."

He chuckled, half-wondering if she was actually different outside of work. "And... is this place yours? I saw that the name changed."

"Sort of." She shrugged. "It's a family business. My papa is Tom Dupain, my maman is Sabine Cheng, and I'm Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

He was glad she'd told him her name, thankful that he didn't have to non-subtly try to ask for her name now. Marinette.

She continued, "My parents went away on vacation, so I'm in charge." Puffing out her chest with pride, she assured, "I'm proving that I can handle everything myself."

Luka broke out into a huge grin, thoroughly charmed. "I'm sure you can. You definitely have the energy for it."

He tried to hide his amusement at seeing her try not to blush and turn shy from the compliment. She clearly wore her heart on her sleeve and couldn't hide anything if her life depended on it.

He'd never heard a song like hers before.

"S-so!" she deflected in a way she probably thought was skillful. "If you don't mind me asking, how was your tour?"

"Mm?" He was briefly caught off-guard, not expecting to have to talk about himself, though he supposed he should've, given that she was apparently a fan of his. "Oh, it was fine."

She tilted her head, suddenly concerned. "It was only fine?"

Oops. Luka hoped it didn't show on his face that he knew he'd slipped up. He didn't doubt - based on the small amount of time he'd known her - that Marinette would've listened to his worries, but he didn't want her to fret over his career when she was a fan of his.

Thinking quickly, he replied, "Well, I'm just glad to be back home. My family's here."

She nodded in understanding, not seeming to fully believe him - perceptive little thing - but accepting anyway. "That makes sense. I'd never be able to leave my parents for that long. I'd miss them too much!"

He chuckled. She seemed like the kind of person to overthink about people like that. "Yeah. My sister practically threw me onto the plane for my first tour." He grinned. "We still shared a room back then and I think she was desperate for privacy with her girlfriend."

Marinette covered her mouth, trying to hide a sweet giggle that he discreetly stored away in his memory.

"Still," she began, her gaze softening along with her voice. Luka detected a distinct change in atmosphere as she continued, "I don't think it's good if you miss them too much on tour. I think your fans would understand if you kept your them shorter." She smiled reassuringly. "I know I would, so please don't overdo it."

He blinked, staring at her with surprise. It was almost funny to him how he'd hoped not to run into any fans on the way there, yet here he was now, glad to have this particular fan to talk to.

She was sweet. She was cute. She seemed to genuinely care about him, and he was—

His phone chimed with a familiar tone, and Luka figured that it might've been for the best that he wasn't able to finish that thought, already hearing his dad's rambles about fans and attachment and keeping them at a stage's distance.

He picked up his phone, offering Marinette a quick "thank you" for her kind words before opening up his conversation with Juleka.

He blanked at the message she sent.

Hey, here's the list (by the way, say "hi" to the baker while you're there; not suggesting anything but she's cute and totally your type since you're both really lame):

Luka had too many questions all at once. Had his sister sent him there just to try and get him a date? Would she have sent him to the Dupain-Cheng bakery otherwise? Was Rose in on it too?

Did he really have a type?

Luka glanced briefly up at Marinette, who seemed wholly oblivious to his internal conflict. Trying not to just stand there stupidly, he copied the list Juleka sent and put it into a memo app on his phone, not wanting to risk Marinette seeing the rest of the message.

He took a quick look around the display cases and added something for himself to the list, then set his phone back on the counter and slid it over to Marinette. She leaned over, taking a look at the list, then gave him an acknowledging smile and went off to fill the order.

He waited to make sure that she had everything on the list memorized, then picked his phone back up and navigated to the camera app, now all too aware of what Juleka's smug reaction would be when he got back with the absolute dumbest look on his face.

"Luka?" Marinette called after an indistinguishable amount of time. He met her gaze and she added hurriedly, "I-I hope I wasn't interrupting anything, but here's your order."

She slid the boxes across the counter, having put them in a bag for easy carrying. He placed her payment on the counter and smiled at her, assuring, "You didn't interrupt anything. Thank you."

He didn't notice how warm his voice had sounded until after the words were already out, and by then it was already too late to change it. Slipping his hand through the bag's handles, he lifted it up and kept his phone held in his other hand.

"Oh!" Marinette gasped. "Let me get the door for you!"

"You don't have to—"

"It's okay! Your hands are full!"

He wouldn't define them as "full," but she was already rushing to make to the door before he did. He didn't miss how she opened it like a boyfriend would for their girlfriend, even adding a bow just for flair.

The bell chiming seemed to be emphasizing her voice rather than his exit.

"Please come again!" she recited like it was something she told everyone. She paused, then blushed and stood straight, any professionalism gone as she stammered, "I-I'm sorry, is that weird to say since I'm your fan? I didn't mean to, but—well, do come back, but only if you want! So—"

"I do," he cut in, much to her apparent surprise. He maintained eye contact on the way out, adding fondly, "See you later, Marinette?"

"A-ah... see you!"

He immediately had to look away to prevent her from seeing the way he grinned at the squeak in her voice. He heard the bakery door close behind him and held his phone back up to his face. Glad that there weren't many people in the immediate area, he spent probably five minutes trying to make faces at his camera.

Eventually, he had to give up hope that Juleka wouldn't tease him, because the smile wouldn't leave his face no matter how hard he tried.

That didn't mean he wasn't going to visit the bakery tomorrow though, of course.

#lukaneventte: No Context November #Flower Arrangement Shipping #Pro LukaMari #Lukanette

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