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#yeah u hate the world and want to destroy it yeah killing means nothing to you yeah u had a messed up life that made u mistrust the world
euyrdice · 2 years
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i see ppl talk about how the morally good protagonist is boring villains r more complex ect ect and i get it i do. but i will always find goodness more interesting.
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inutaffy · 1 year
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🧍🧍🧍
im not sorry. im pulling up a chair and you will be stuck here for a millennia
SO. NUMBER 1. “do you know why you’re leader of this team?” “well uh yeah. bc i asked to be? u said it wasnt bc of my skills.” THIS RIGHT THE FUCK HERE. OKAY. BITCH.
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LEO ALREADY HAD SO MANY DOUBTS ABT BEING LEADER MAN ITS AWFUL. LIKE. FUCK. and this isnt to say that leo is like confident in his abilities bc HE IS. HE REALLY IS HE KNOWS HE’S GOOD WHEN HE NEEDS TO BE but like that doesn’t immediately get rid of the feelings of inadequacy, ESPECIALLY after he got beat down by shredder in s2 and the earth got destroyed in s3
to him, he’s just leader bc he asked to be, nothing special abt it. its not bc he’s the smartest or the strongest or fastest. he just asked and splinter said lmao sure why not (LISTEN I KNOW THAT THAT WASNT REALLY SPLINTERS REASONING. leo was always gonna end up as leader bc he IS GOOD AT IT. he knows how to lead n he’s inspiring or whatever but he doesnt say this to leo until later) so to him there’s NOTHING STOPPING HIM FROM BEING REPLACED IF BE SCREWS UP ONE TO MANY TIMES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? IT LITERALLY MAKES EVERYTHING MAKE SENSE. like the shift in how he views leadership after s1. how he CONSTANTLY sacrifices himself for the cause bc WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THINGS SPIRAL OUT OF HIS CONTROL?? just. dude. i fucking hate this. he sacrifices himself at any minor inconvenience (not really but 😐) and i hate that it makes since. he is only leader bc he asked, there isnt some special skill keeping him in this position (THERE IS. the others would be soo screwed if he wasnt leader. they’d make it obviously but DAMN) so he’s easily replaceable, and if something goes wrong to the point where he needs to REALLY get his shit together and DO SOMETHING TO FIX IT, HE SACRIFICES HIMSELF. BC WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO. he does it when they had to destroy the technodrome, he does it when he goes to fight shredder alone, he does it when they needed to get that black hole generator piece from that one lady, and he does it when trying to destroy the triceraton mothership. its the worst thing in the whole fucking world
number 2. “i knew that one day you would grow up to be the leader of this team, and when I pass on to be like a father as well.” OUGH. this hurts me so much. this is damn near the center of a good chunk of raph and leo’s fighting. not ALL of it obviously bc they’ve got their own stuff to work out but this definitely plays a part bc above all he wants leo to be HIS BROTHER. not his dad. NEVER HIS DAD. leo IS NOT their fucking dad and when he tries to act all high and mighty it IRRITATES HIM. WHICH IS SO VALID BC WHY ARE YOU THE WAY THAT YOU ARE. STOP. SERIOUSLY. WHO ARE YOU. yk? like fuck. he doesnt want leo to parent them dammit. imagine your dad dies or something and then your older brother is trying to fill that gap instead of taking time to GREIVE
AND TBH. I DONT THINK SPLINTER MEANT IT LIKE THAT EITHER. splinter probably meant this in a “when i die i trust you to take care of this family and be there for each other and support each other” way. not in a SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS WND NEVER STOPS WITH GETNLE HANDS AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTER IM A SURVIVOR kinda way
this gets lost in translation tho bc leo totally takes this and runs in the opposite ducking direction for a while which just
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NUMBER 3. AND THEN WHEN SPLINTER OFFERS HIM SOME ADVICE/WISDOM LEO JUST. HE CLOSES HIS EYES AND SHAKES HIS HEAD AND TELLS HIM THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU ARE FINE. BC HE NEEDS THIS TO BE TRUE LIKE. ISNT THAT JUST AWFUL? you watch your dad get killed in front of you, then you go back in time and save him, only for him TO STILL DIE. that is AWFUL MAN.
“i dont get it, you’re fine father. is there something your not telling me?”
I HATE EVERYTHING. leo is dodging EVERY hint that his dad could die soon, he refuses to even entertain the idea. like at all. and its so fuckinf sad bc he is clinging to this hope that no matter what everything will work out fine just like it did before, they’re going to come out on the other side bruised but whole, and it HURTS bc that is not what happens at all. splinter is still killed right in front of them and they carry his body away and bury him and that’s it. that’s fucking it and it’s TERRIBLE.
and its not just awful bc of that its awful bc splinter is trying so hard to prepare them for this, he knows he died once, and has come close numerous times, so its gotta stick eventually right? so the least he can do is make sure his family isnt without closure yk? he can make it so that he torn from them without any warning or goodbye, without something to remember him by, so he goes and he has a moment with each of them in this season before he gets killed and it hurts me so much bc he’s trying to gently prepare them and its just. ough. OUGH. can we just take these mfckers out of situations ffs
NUMBER 4. THIS SHIT.
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HIS FUCKING FACE???? AS THEH WALK AWAY???????? KILL ME NOW PLEASE???????? he literally just wants his family to be ok and theh ARENT and it hurts me so. his brothers and dad look so fucking happy too but just. OUGH. the HORRORS man the horrors are coming
anyways. timestamp 3:25am. this is just my rambling from the first few minutes and these are all the scenes from the clip i tagged u in. we haven’t even gotten to splinters death or what leads up to it yet, things are deceptively calm rn and im so scared
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GO TO BED
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astaroth1357 · 3 years
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request: an MC thats very good w playing games or like,,, is proficiently skilled in all game categories or smrhn
alsp hi xander i love ur writing
and can i giv u a kith? if so: mwah 😚
Well I hate to tell ya, sweetie, but I’m not Xander. I’m Jazzy. Hello! I can see why you’d want something written by Xander, though. He’s mad talented (better at this than I am quite frankly) and he’s on the list of people I wish I could write as well as. I guess we can both take a moment to be sad that I’m not Xander… *sigh*... to be Xander… 😔
Oh well, I am who I am and I don’t begrudge that fact. Meanwhile, I’ve wanted to do more shout-outs so everybody go read @sevendeadlymorons! If you’re not… I mean… why not? He’s more than worth your time. In the meantime, I hope I can entertain you despite my not-Xanderness.
Brothers React to an MC Who’s Good at Games and Stuff 
Lucifer
Honestly couldn’t care less about the MC’s game proficiency in most cases. So they’re good at games? Good for them, he’s sure they’re happy.
But when they’re playing against him on the other hand…
Well, Lucifer may or may not be skilled at whatever game you set him on (he’s a very quick learner so never underestimate him), but he’s whole new levels of competitive when he wants to be. ESPECIALLY if he already thinks he’s hot shit at something.
Video games? Not his forte. Table top games? One word for you: Chess.
Lucifer believes that he can and will whip pretty much anyone’s ass in chess. That includes Satan, Solomon, Levi, and even Diavolo. He is at grandmaster level.
So imagine his shock, no, his disdain to have lost a game of chess to the MC… The moment they said "Checkmate" he stared at the board in front of them for a solid five minutes trying to work out where he went wrong…
And he wasn’t having that.
He and the MC now have regular chess matches in which he wins some and loses some so the tally stays pretty evenly tied. Really it’s all good fun... (but if they think he’s going to let them go home when he’s on a losing count, they’re Dead. Wrong. He’ll drag them back to down just to play chess with him until the score is right again. He DOES NOT lose, you hear? 🤨).
Mammon
Guess who’s found his gambling buddy?? 
No, really. He and the MC can make a KILLING at a Poker or Blackjack table! He’s never seen anyone better at poker than they are!! They have nerves of steel and give nothing away, so he’s lost more than a few hands to them before...
Even past the casinos, they’re perfect for making bets on! He once arranged a Devil Cart competition between the MC and Levi and took bets around RAD for who’d win...
Naturally, everybody assumed the Devildom’s resident Super-Otaku would win hands down, but the MC had this insane last minute save with a blue shell and pulled ahead in the last lap!!
He was like, the only person that bet on the MC and he got soooo much money that MC found HIM crying and hugging a bag of Grimm after the match…
Any time they win a game that gets him money, he’ll treat them like royalty for the next week. Man knows not to bite the hand that feeds him!... and creditors at bay... 😬
It may get slightly annoying that Mammon won't stop telling them about gaming competitions where they can get him more prize money, but hey, at least he's supportive, I guess.
Leviathan
Oh they are either his best friend or mortal enemy… Sometimes both in the same day.
Our boy hates losing, can't stand it any better than Lucifer, you KNOW the second he knows there's someone out there who even has a chance of beating him, he gets serious. This is not a "friendly rivalry," MC.
When they’re playing any game against each other, he'll call them by their gamertag/online persona to keep himself focused (yes, even if they’re playing Monopoly). They can't be his MC right now, they gotta be the person he's going to beat...
He's NOT opposed to dirty tactics to win, either. Saying things that will get them mad or flustered mid-match? Check. Using his tail to distract or tease them? Check. Just being a general nuisance/annoyance in game for the hell of it? Guilty as charged!
He's both a sore winner AND a sore loser, so unfortunately MC, you really can't win here... He'll be obnoxious regardless of the outcome.
However… when they’re on the same team, it's really something special. They don't just destroy the competition, they bulldoze over them like an armored tank barreling through rush hour traffic!
These two are legends in the online gaming community and have even started a streaming channel on the side. Sometimes your worst enemies also make the best allies... Who knew? 🤷‍♀️
Satan
Is surprisingly impressed by their gaming prowess. Are they just supremely skilled or incredibly lucky, you think…?
That being said, he's not the biggest gaming man on the planet so he's not too competitive with them one way or the other.
When Satan plays a video game, he usually goes for story-based, single-person experiences anyway so it's not like he could compete with them even if he wanted to.
That being said, they do share an informal challenge of sorts when it comes to puzzle/detective games (a not so guilty pleasure of his). He likes to try and beat the levels first, so when they start playing a new one they'll both compare time spent and scores.
He even enjoys playing those Devildom-style AR murder mystery games with them! It’s pretty cute to watch Satan get into it, he dips into his inner Levi and cosplays as some of his favorite TV drama detectives for the occasion and insists they dress as his co-star (best just go along with him. It’s not a bad time, even if they have to carry around an old tobacco pipe for a few hours).
Asmodeus
Good at games? That sounds dangerously like they're another Levi… 🙄 What about party games? Oh oh, or drinking games??
Actually scratch that. How about ANY game while drunk? That sounds pretty fun doesn’t it??
Like Drunk Truth or Dare!! Oh that's a favorite of his… 🤭
To be fair to the MC, the booze does diminish their skills somewhat (because that's kind of what it does in general) but not by all that much… It's pretty impressive.
He once challenged them to a game of Drunk Twister figuring that they'd be too unsteady to actually win for once, but no. If anything, the alcohol must have numbed the stretching pains because they bent over him like a pretzel!
Not that he was complaining or anything… 😏
He likes to take the MC to parties where he knows a game or two will be played just to show off to the crowd and brag that they’re HIS lovely, talented human! You go, MC, beat that competition to a pulp! 😌
Beelzebub
Sports count as games too, right? Well, they aren't half bad at those either.
Beel found it surprising that he found a human who could actually keep up with him. His brothers rarely want to play practice games with him anyway so it’s pretty exciting to have a sports partner at home!
He likes to ask the MC to help him train with practice matches or to go over certain moves or maneuvers he’s having trouble with. It’s not uncommon for the brothers to come home and find the two of them tossing a ball around in the front yard or something.
And the both of them on the same team? Forget it. It takes the dream team of Lucifer and Mammon (who aren’t just arguing with each other for once) to even come close to a challenge for them.
He also enjoys playing the occasional video game with them, though he treats it a lot like playing with Levi and just assumes he’ll never win unless he gets lucky - which does happen from time to time.
He doesn’t mind losing that much as long as he’s having fun, and if nothing else he can always win against them in an eating contest… He’s got those on lockdown. Come at’em MC, he’ll pack away an entire fridge before you’re done with your first plate. Try him.
Belphegor
So Belphie enjoys a good game or two - video-based or otherwise - it comes with the lazy-bastard territory. He may not be as skilled as Levi, but he can hold his own in some genres.
But he’s given up on beating the MC looong ago.
Do you know how much practice it would take? How many hours that he would have to use?? The hours where he could be napping instead???  Yeah, no thanks. They can continue to be the reigning Super Smash Devils champion for all he cares.
Buuuut even he has to admit, it’s pretty relaxing to watch the MC play something in the background... There’s a certain sort of satisfaction to watching someone who’s good at a game just play it straight through.
If they’re set up in Levi’s room or the Common area then Belphie may come over, set his pillow up on the floor, and watch them play. He may even throw in a comment or two like, “You missed a health pack,” or “Better save now,” but other than that he likes to just let them do their thing.
The MC has had many an all-nighter with Belphie spectating until about 4am or so. Then he’s dead to the world and they have to work out how to get his not-exactly-light demon ass onto a couch…
Or they can just leave him faceplanted and snoring on the floor. Up to them, really cause he did it to himself. 🤷‍♀️
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How about B, I, L, U, V for our big boi Theo? :3c
Sure thing, bub!! Theo hcs coming right up! 💙💙💙💙
I really hope you like them!!!! :3c
Fluff ABCs Template here for requests
Body -- What is his favorite part of her body?
Do y’all have any idea how hard it is for me to answer this letter without making this horny hours.
ANYWAY losing my mind because my instinct was to respond with “her tears.” And then my brain was like. Minnie that’s not a part of the body…that’s not how any of this works…But let’s pretend for a moment like I am valid, shall we?
No cap, I die on this hill. And my answer comes in two parts. The first reason tears destroy him like nothing else is because of how much she feels for the van Gogh brothers tbh. I think Theodorus is very accustomed to their situation being seen through a lens of indifference, a kind of “oh well, what can be done ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” especially. While he may argue that he’s used to it, he’s full of shit. It hurts every time–even more so because people are being dismissive about the person he loves most in the world (other than her, of course.) He’ll be silent for the most part, usually pretty stoic if those things come up, but the way her eyes glisten with tears just undoes him. He feels stupid to be so affected, but it’s something else entirely when somebody actually gives a damn. Somehow it's harder to keep his composure under that gaze...
The second reason is more about teasing. He can’t resist getting a reaction out of her sometimes, or seeing her brought to frustrated tears. That lovely blush overtaking the tips of her ears and face, to say nothing if it happens during nsfw hours. They make her face shine, a visible manifestation of all the emotion he tries so hard to deny–to run from–that it just moves him like nothing else. Where he can't find words or proper expression, she always does. Leonardo said once that a single glance at that man and you can tell he’s in love with art. And he was right, save that that kind of passion can be found in him again in moments like this. Alone, driving her to madness and pleasure.
It’s the part of him that belongs to her, and her alone.
Injury -- How would he act if she got hurt?
Lmao call Vincent instead of Theo if you actually want anything productive to be done about it.
I’m KIDDING mostly but to be honest I think he has a hard time hiding his distress when MC is hurt. If it’s something small he’ll try to play it off as mild irritation, muttering about oblivious hondjes and how she needs to be more careful. If it’s something like a bruise or a bandaged cut–maybe she bumped into something–he’ll just clumsily try to pat the pain away. Don’t try to hide it from him either because he has eyes like a hawk and will expose you. He’ll be a dumdum but it’s really sweet because he’ll be so gentle over such a tiny wound (it always amuses Dazai so much) that all the men will have to kind of hold back laughter. They don’t mean to mock the guy but he takes it so seriously it’s a little bit funny. Vincent is so unironically proud of him for being sensitive though and it’s enough to make a girl cry TwT
If it’s a very serious injury I am sorry but you are getting nothing but probably a panic attack from him. He doesn’t really do well with even the slightest suggestion of losing a loved one, so if she breaks a bone or experiences excessive bleeding–whatever the risk may be to her life–he is fighting to stay in control of his body’s response. He’s trying so hard to be strong for her, but he can hardly breathe and his vision is a little fuzzy and did they say she would be unconscious for a few days? Needless to say he’s a bit of a mess. Ideally, Vincent would do his best to help the guy stabilize while he waits for things to improve, but it’s touch and go for a bit there.
When she wakes up, he needs as much gentleness as she does in many respects. The stress attacks and constant distress have just resulted in so much tension and exhaustion, he doesn’t even have the energy for any verbal swipes at anyone. (I was going to say “he’s just a big puppy” but the irony hit me so hard I literally couldn’t finish typing the sentence). He just really needs lots of kisses and hand holds and promises she isn’t going anywhere, completely unprompted. Not to be emo (WAKE ME UP) but he really needs to be brought back to life slowly, in a way. He’ll get better with some time and assurance that she’s going to make it, but oTL hondje please, he can only take so many heart attacks in one lifetime.
Love -- How does he show her he loves her?
He does not.
I’m KIDDING but I stand by the fact that he’s more of a show than tell type of guy. He has a really, really hard time verbalizing everything that he feels, so I think the person he loves would ideally have to keep that in mind. He’s lowkey but very classy, imo. Gets surprise flowers every once in a while, buys groceries after work all the time if she needs things at home, always reliable with taking care of their finances (and in general). I feel like the thing about Theodorus is that he’s the quiet romantic; he won’t smooth talk or endlessly go on about love, but when she needs him? He’s there. Come hell or high water. When things are hard, when things feel impossible, when life just feels like one slap in the face after another–he’s warm and there and steady, leading her by the hand.
He's very proactive about just about anything other than expressing his feelings directly, so write that down--
Upset --How does he act when she's upset?
LMFAO catch him crashing at Vincent’s place tonight, no thanks murderous hondje ain’t it for me, sorry sweaty.
All jokes aside, I think he’s the type of guy who just has no idea how to handle it. I mean she’s the one that’s usually pretty stable emotionally, so when she isn’t it tends to be a big deal–the cause of her foul mood has got to be sizable. While he may be stymied upfront, will most likely go after the root cause of her distress and kill it with a hammer when her back is turned. Nobody upsets his hondje (unless it’s him) and gets away with it. The man has two modes: kill and more kill, and so he uses the second one as necessary in these situations.
That being said, it doesn't mean he's completely bereft of sensitivity. If it's a more sorrowful kind of upset, he'll try to make time for a lot of cuddling and pampering. Get her things she likes to eat/drink, rub her back gently, put on a movie she likes (even if it's boring to him). He hopes that some care and a few little distractions will be enough to calm her soon. He loves his hondje best when she's smiling, after all ùwú
Vaunt -- What is he proud of? Does he like to show her off?
Oh my goddddddd. Bih. If this man suffers from a cardinal sin, it’s pride I swear. Even if he’s Mr. Bad Mood Stink Face he will literally never say a bad word about her. There are so many people convinced he’s deadass got some kind of disorder because he has scary face, but also looks so delighted at the same time it's terrifying. Gets all puffed up about what a hard worker she is, how talented, how he couldn’t have done any of this without her. Even when he’s roaring drunk, now he just rambles on and cries about how much he loves her and Vincent and it’s beyond hilarious. Would throw down for her, would die for her, would steal a clown’s balloon for her–you name it.
She can do absolutely no wrong, so write that down.
Has a love hate relationship with showing her off (in the more blatant way) though because. Homewrecking. Does she look lovely in that dress? Undoubtedly so. If he sees one more gross lustful/covetous gaze directed at her though, he’s just gonna leave with her in tow. (He would throw hands but she doesn't like that.) Y’all know the whole Lord of The Rings’ “My p r e c i o u s” thing? That’s his vibe LMFAO. Depending on his mood he will either be like "hell yeah that's my wife you jealous bih, I'm the luckiest guy ever ik now buzz off" or he will just get more and more lowkey steamed until they leave.
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c or e (maybe both?) for the ask game
>:) (also he/they/she catra because i'm having too much fun with this hc)
this kinda fits the angst more than the fluff but i hope u like it nonetheless! (also. ending properly? who's that?)
Everything hurts.
Everything hurts, and he can't stop crying -
(Catra knows they're asleep, or dreaming, or dead, because there's no way any of this is real, there's no way Adora is real and Adora came back for her and there's no way Adora could possible be here right now and -)
"I'm going to take you home," she says, distantly, and if she could hear past the humming of the hive mind in her ears she might be able to -
Prime's voice howls in their ears, and it hurts, and Catra grits their teeth and forces out a choked whimper that somehow, somehow ends in "P-promise?" and oh, he's going to pay for fighting back like that, and the thought isn't their own - Adora -
"I promise," Adora says - no, sobs - and he wonders, somewhere in the closed-off portion of his mind Prime seems to have relinquished, if he'd be allowed to reach across the fragile space between them and fall into Adora's arms like he wants to, if the mind pressing hard against his own would allow him that small reprieve.
(They wonder if Adora would hold them back, if she'd let them sink into their arms like they've wanted to for years and never let go. They wonder if she'd - if she'd recoil at their touch - if -)
Something inside her lurches free of Prime's grip, that instinct that keeps her clutching at her arms and trembling and sobbing out here on this lonely platform jutting out into empty space, and Catra - stars, she just wants to be home again - Catra reaches out and chokes out a broken, soft, "Adora-" and -
It happens so quickly they barely have time to register it - pain lances up their body, they cry out, because it's - it's so much worse, it's so much more than when Prime drowned them in the pool, and then the world is white and blank and gone and they're floating in silence, in nothingness, devoid of thought and emotion and everything except vague, passive knowledge of the world trembling around them. And it's quiet, and Catra - and Catra -
When the world comes back to him, it's framed in harsh, blinding black-and-white-and-green light, in tears spilling from the eyes of the blue-eyed girl standing, frozen in terror, at the other end of the universe, in green-edged lightning and in the kind of pain he'd grown used to feeling almost every day of his life.
When the world comes back to Catra, they are screaming.
(And they could fill pages and pages of the notebooks they used to hide under Adora's mattress with every fragment of this pain, with every inch of their body being burned and turned into ash and electrified by the chip in the back of their neck. They could spend hours trying to pin down every heartbeat of it, magnified and so, so much more intense than what they grew up with.
But before Catra can form that thought properly, pushing at the barriers in her mind, before she can do anything except catch a fleeting glimpse of the cry pulling at Adora's lips through white-hot nothing, the brief flashes of the world she has been allowed to see vanish and she topples backward into nothing -
He topples backward into nothing, and he feels what fragile hold on consciousness he hand slip away, and he feels the breath rattle out of his lungs and thinks, desperately, echoing in the vast empty hollow of his mind Prime must have vacated, ADORA - )
-
Catra is dead.
She knows this with unbreakable certainty, knows this the heartbeat she pulls her broken, bleeding body against her and feels her breath stalling and shaking and shattering out of her body. And it tears something deep inside her apart.
She's trembling with the force of it, fumbling for the back of the head of the body in her arms, feeling the new ends of the hair she must have fought so hard to try and keep and the chip embedded in the back of her neck.
Catra is dead, and Adora is clinging to all that's left of her in the bottom of an impossibly vast spaceship, and in all her life she's never felt as alone, as - as desperately empty as she does right now, and -
And the pit of despair and the hole in her heart shatter wide open.
And Adora moulds that rage, that grief, into something - more.
-
It's beyond anything he's ever known. It's colder and brighter and darker and softer than anything he's ever known, and it's coursing through his veins and tugging at the fraying edges of his mind and -
Catra takes her first breath in what could have been forever and knows, instinctively, that she was dead.
She was dead, and the thing pulling at their mind and their soul and their body is what brought them back.
And said thing is holding them right now, cradling their head in her rough, familiar hands and - and crying -
Catra takes another breath, one that turns into something like a cough, and opens his eyes - and - and there she is, glowing and crying quietly and playing gently with the newly-cut ends of his hair , and it's been so long since they've been this close and smiled at each other like this and he opens his mouth and mumbles "H-hey, Adora," and she sobs and pulls them into her arms -
Stars.
They - they didn't think they'd ever be held like this again. They didn't think it was possible for someone to want to hold them like this. But Adora - Adora, who wasn't supposed to come for her, who saved her, who literally just brought her back from death - is pulling Catra against her like she's never held her before and she can't bring herself to do anything but wrap her arms around her and bury her face in her shoulder and let out a small, broken noise that turns into purring.
Purring.
Adora is holding them for the first time in years and crying into Prime's weird plastic-y shirt and Catra is purring.
You came back for me.
-
When Catra wakes up, Adora is in his bed. And his mind, for the first time in what feels like years, is completely and utterly silent. And - and there's a mess of scar tissue where the chip was, and he's warmer than he's been in a long time. (Not hot - warm, warm like falling asleep in a beam of sunlight, warm like being tangled up in Adora's arms again, warm like - warm like being home again.)
He opens an eye. Shuts it again, because Adora is staring directly at them. Mumbles, "You shouldn't have come for me, you know."
(And it's then that they realise that she's practically draped over them, head nestled in the curve of their collarbone, arms looped around their waist like they're 12 again and Adora is the centre of the world and she's holding Catra like she's her moon and -)
"I know."
She opens an eye again. It's dark in here, darker than she expected it to be, and Adora's expression is hopeful and stupid and she glows in the dark like she was when she healed her yesterday and oh-
"... Why did you?"
"Hm?"
Catra breathes out, long and slow, and shuts his eyes again. And just like that, the glow and Adora's weird bright expression and everything else is gone. And he can practically hear her thinking next to him, hand looping up to stroke his hair like they're kids again. "Why did you come back for me?"
"Oh." Adora pauses, swallows. "Well, I guess it's because I still -"
He laughs, feeling hollow. "Still care about me? After I, I don't know, tried to kill you multiple times? Almost destroyed reality?"
"Yes," she says, firmly, and rolls onto her back. Catra would mourn the loss of her warmth if their head wasn't spinning. "I told you. Yesterday. I never hated you. I never stopped caring about you."
She's lying. She's lying. She's-
"I know you think I'm lying," Adora murmurs. Catra tenses. "I know you think you're not worth being saved. I know you think I'd never come back for you, because you don't think you deserve it."
"I don't," he mumbles. "I hurt people. You aren't supposed to want me around. You - you weren't supposed to come back."
"But I did," she says, slowly, and takes his hand.
(Catra tenses again, and it strains muscles he didn't know could hurt like that, and he bites down hard on his lip and tries not to make a noise because - because then Adora would think of him as - as weak -)
"Does it hurt?"
The question - well, it sort of startles them into opening their eyes and glancing in Adora's direction, and then they have to squeeze them shut again, because she's staring at them with such a hopeful, wide-eyed expression that they -
"Huh?"
"Your neck, I mean." She lets go of their hand, hesitantly, and reaches up to the scars crawling up their shoulder blades. And, oddly, Catra doesn't flinch away when she touches them.
(Because - oh - it's been years since she was touched like that and she's almost forgotten what it felt like and -)
"Um. Kinda," she gets out, and Adora nods, like that makes sense. "Everything hurts, to be honest. Just - everything."
A moment passes, and then Adora lets out a small sigh and breathes, "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I'm sorry you're in pain," she mumbles. "I'm sorry I can't do anything to fix it."
Well, there's no nice way they can respond to that.
Catra shifts onto their side, gritting their teeth as pain bites at the base of their tail. Adora is still watching them, eyes half-closed, lying on her back on the mattress and biting her lip like she's - nervous.
Hm. Shit.
It takes them a moment, but - but they -
"Adora?"
"Yeah?"
She breathes in. Out. "Can you - um -"
"Go?" she fills in gently. "Stay? Do you need me to - to get off the bed or get you some food or water? Do you -"
"Stars, Adora, I was just gonna ask if you could hold me. You know, like you were when we - when we fell asleep? I - I mean, it's okay if you don't want to, it's not like -"
He's cut off by a pair of strong arms wrapping around his waist, a head settling on his shoulder, and Adora's soft laughter against his collarbone.
Oh.
Okay.
A heartbeat, and then she whispers, "Is this okay?"
"Yeah. This is fine."
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omegangrins · 3 years
Text
A Rant on the End of Tremors 7: Shrieker Island
As the main man said,
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Throwing caution to the wind because this blew up elsewhere.
If you can do it with Justice League, fuck it, let's do it for every shitty movie we've got.
While we're at it, can we change the ending of the 7th Tremors movie so *MAJOR FUCKING SPOILERS* Burt Gummer doesn't die or at least bring Jamie Kennedy back, or Marvel style recast Jon Heder, so he dies saving his son instead of a random-ass person who could have easily saved themselves. Or cut the forced montage of Burt clips at the end so his death is at least ambiguous. Seriously beyond pissed about that one. THAT is no way for him to go.
I would also like to point out that the next Tremors *HAS* to be titled Tremors 8: Ouroboros and bring everyone back for Burt's funeral . Otherwise, what's the fucking point?
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I have feelings about it, people. *FEELINGS!!!*
One of my favourite childhood memories is picking out Tremors 2 from the local gas station's movie rentals and forcing my parents to watch it. I was probably 5-6 at the time.
Let's say that it's been a lifelong love affair ever since. It took me another 10 years before I even watched the 1st. Probably why I hold good sequels in such high regard.
I didn't even know about the 1st until it played as a trailer in front of 2 and never thought to watch until years later. That's a testament to its filmmaking if I ever knew one.
So seriously, that's how they chose to kill off one of the most well known and prolific characters in a movie/TV series known around the globe? With an unnecessaryily needed death and a montage of clips from all the other movies that are obviously better than this one.
And I'm saying that as someone who defends Chibnall/13th Doctor...
...and I'm fucking fuming because THIS is how you *actually* destroy something people love and hold dear to their hearts. It's like the ending of Game of Thrones. His shitty ass death has made it a loooooot harder to rewatch. And they are one of my favourite series!!! Not flawless but fun. But I will defend every other movie and all the episodes except this. Honestly I'll still defend 7/8ths of this one as well.
Like I said, it's easily fixed too. Fucking vice versa swap out Jon Heder for Jamie Kennedy, who the movies have been building up for the last two, and have Burt save his son in front of his old flame. Boom, you won't even need the montage of clips cause you can just have Travis and his mom reminisce about Burt instead. Show not tell. I don't even care he died by Graboid (although in all honesty, I've allways wanted El Blanco to take him down or Burt kills himself from the PTSD. It would have AT LEAST MADE SENSE. Hell, the best would be a heart attack to callback Val's "Yeah, Burt, the way you worry, you're gonna have a heart attack before you get a chance to survive World War Three.". But none of us ever get the best death.). And it's not even about Burt sacrificing himself to save a nobody. Cause that could work too. BUT YOU NEED TO BUILD THAT SHIT UP. Not just fucking drop it like it's hot.
Like I said too, the first 7/8ths ain't bad but it's an entirely different story than a swansong for a hero.
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It's all about some billionaire scientist/cowboy hunter dude who likes to get his jollies off hunting the biggest and the baddest who ends up inviting people to this island so they can hunt down Super-Graboids he designed for shits and giggles. But then some Shrieker-fy....
And the pretentious douches come and die one by beautiful one while Burt tries to save them anyway and it's all spectacularly dumb fun until it comes crashing down in the final 10 minutes. Fuck, they should just cut the last 10 minutes. Then it's a perfect little Tremors ditty.
#RELEASETHE7THTREMORSWITH10MINUTESFROMTHEENDCUT
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This isn't even about Jon Heder either. He's just doing his job. Hell, do what /u/VoiceofRonHoward pointed out.
"It is clear that Jon's character was just pasted in over Jamie's, the artifacts of the father-son relationship are all over it. They should have gone full Marvel and just replaced Jamie with Jon and acted like nothing happened."
CAUSE FUCK YES!! The only time a story sucks is when they don't commit. Commitment makes all the difference. Now, I'm pissed double-pissed they didn't do that instead since Heder and Kennedy are similar in terms of white-boy-ness.
Even Michael Gross agrees:
"Yes, yes. Now I can't presume to speak for Jamie [Kennedy]. My understanding was they asked him and he said no. And so that's why they went with somebody else. So I had nothing to do with that decision. I just heard the stories. I missed him for that reason. You begin a relationship with the character, and you want to continue it....
...As you build a relationship with this son, we had two, it would've been nice to have three, but that was the hand I was dealt."
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One of my favourite bits of Tremors lore comes from the 5th too so it's not like I hate sequel changes out of hand:
"This is a warrior dance. Our ancestors hunting the lnkanyamba and the Impundulu.
"What's that?
"Impundulu. It's what you call the Ass Blaster.
"Ass Blaster.
"Yes.
"Yes.
"Hey, you know, you make Ass Blaster sound good.
Primitive cultures fighting Graboids, Shriekers and Assblasters. I just love that thought.
Hilariously, my meta opening to the 8th movie would be a flashback to 10,000 years ago and a Neanderthal-like Burt Gummer teaching others how to drive Graboids off cliffs like they did with mammoths.
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Thank you for giving me the space to rant. Cause fuuuuuuhhhhhhhhuuccck!!!
Here's Michael Gross' own words from his AMA that prove the people making Shrieker Island didn't know their shit.
"The Tremors series is one very close to my heart and I want you to know how appreciated your continued effort is for your core fan base.
My only question would be were there ever any studio decisions made for Burt that you refused to comply with? Or was everybody pretty much always on the same page on what to do with the character?
Thanks again for your dedication.
- Josh"
"Thanks for the kind words, Josh. As regards the first four films, with Wilson and Maddock as the writers, we were very much on the same page. 5,6, and 7 were a bit different, because there was a 13-year hiatus between 4 and 5, and we had to refresh our memories while "reinventing" the franchise for a new audience. I will give you one example: in an early draft of Shrieker Island, a new writer wrote a draft where Burt threatened to shoot one of the bad dudes, and I had to tell him—this is true—"Burt never intentionally points his gun at another human being."
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And his own thoughts on Burt's "death" and how to bring it all back together again.
Universal and the director [came] to me with this idea, and they said, 'This could be emotionally very powerful, if we have to say goodbye to this man after 30 years. And I hemmed and hawed, and I thought about it a little bit. And I said, 'You're absolutely right about the emotional gut punch this can be.' And I said, 'You're going to hurt a lot of people's feelings.' And I said, 'But I thought this franchise was over after four. So I could certainly live with it being over after seven.'
"What we negotiated -- well, it wasn't really a negotiation, we all agreed on this -- is that we kind of left the door open. >!Because although Burt is gone, we never see a corpse. We never see his remains. Everybody assumes he's gone. Is he buried somewhere? Is he unconscious somewhere? We never see Burt dead. We see Burt gone. We see Burt not returning. What does that mean? Has he been knocked out? Does he have amnesia somewhere? Does he wander off? Is he in a kind of coma? So yes, the way it ends is pretty profound."
"As regards to the end of Tremors 7, let me just say that while people ASSUME Burt is gone, we never see his remains, do we? Just sayin.'
"The only reason he has become the main character is that everyone else in the original cast moved on to other things. I NEVER thought of him as the central figure, but it just worked out that Michael Gross, like Burt Gummer, was a "survivor." :0) "
"No one would like to see it more than I!!! One of my greatest regrets is that so many other cast members fell away over time. Reba was on to other things, Kevin said no to a second, Fred said no to a third. I would LOVE one last go with all of them, but it is not up to me. :0( "
"There are no guarantees, but for those who wonder aloud if this is the final film, I will say what I have said before: SALES drive sequels, Show biz is 5% show and 95% business, so if this latest addition to the Tremors franchise, sells well, [Universal] will follow the money, and Universal Pictures Home Entertainment may will be back for more."
/u/ActorMichaelGross, the bell has been rung and the song sung. Get the producers on this ASAP!!
I was also the first person to discover the symbolic foreshadowing of Stumpy's end with Earl's sleeping bag in the original movie.
Let's just say, I really *really* love these movies. So if anyone knows anyone, hook me up to the producers of this series and I'll Justin Lin in the Fast and Furious out of this shit.
Since I don't think it's good to critique without proposing either, I say we can make up for this fuck up with the next movie. We'll call it Tremors 8: Ouroboros. After the snake which eats its own tail.
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We find out Burt faked his death to get the Proudfoot Corporation to let down their guard and when everyone from the previous series comes back for Burt's fake funeral they give him ever loving shit for being such a paranoid whack-job that he would fake his death to fool a government agency. Why would he do this? He found an old photo of Hiram Gummer with a Graboid warning on the back and asks himself why this valley, why these things, why allways me? And we find out, it's not Burt. It's that lifestyles of extremes will end up in places of extremes. Burt and the Graboids are survivors of different species. Sure the Proudfoot Corporation IS using Mixmaster to combine Graboids, Shriekers, and Ass-Blasters into one super creature for the military but it pales in comparison to Burt looking at his life and wondering in shame how many ancient giants like himself he has killed. And with that, he actually dies, and we keep the ball rolling with the rest of the characters trying to stop what they allways thought was just another one of Burt's crazy conspiracies.
That's why it's Ouroboros. Everything comes back around. We could end/start the movie with Grady, Earl, and Jodi opening a Monster World in Perfection Valley a la Desert Jack's Graboid Adventure. I don't know. I'm fucking trying harder than the people they paid to do this already.
It ain't perfect but I'm building on sand here so changes are gonna get made.
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Like if the makers of Tremors notice this,
Then DM me because fucking A you guys need some help.
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Note
Okay can we talk about ACOSF???? Bc on booktok all I’m seeing is so much negativity about how people don’t like feysand or don’t like nesta but?? I read this book, loved it, thought nesta grew SO much and we got to see feysand from a different POV which gave them depth! Plus a baby!!! I can talk about it forever
We can absolutely talk about ACOSF. I have thoughts, feelings, opinions and this is going to get long. And, uh, any of those super negative critiques:
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Alright, alright, alright, so initial feelings? I enjoyed it a lot. Like, way more than I thought I would honestly because going in I was like eh, Nessian, but I loved Nesta’s character development and the flirt-to-roast ratio with her and Cassian and every single time Cassian called her Nes or God help me ARCHERON, my soul reached another plane of existence. Don’t even get me started on that one time she called him General. The noise I made was not audible to human ears. 
That said, there were some parts that I was like: oh ok, that’s happening. So, because I cannot function without organization, let’s break down some of the major things that happened into a LIST WITH OPINIONS ATTACHED
Sexual Tension Fucking fuck, these two idiots. Pining after each other while both desperately wanting someone, anyone, to be like — please stay in bed and cuddle me all night?!?! Idiots. Both of them flush with power and the ability to make people legit terror before them and they’re so goddamn soft with each other. Which is kind of hysterical because they are also able to rip each other to shreds? Oh my God, some of those fight scenes, I just—my heart was in my throat. And I do not want to hear a single word of how CASSIAN IS MEAN TO NESTA? Were we reading the same book, internet? Bro is In Love. From the G E T. 
Which leads us to—
S O L S T I C E  God, rip my romantic-loving heart out of my body. Learning what was in the box from the solstice before made me screech and then the music. THE MUSIC. Can we talk about Cassian, feared general, dude who has canonically lost track of how many people he has killed, cornering an ENTIRE ORCHESTRA to recreate music for Nesta? I just—f u c k. It was a lot. A lot. And then we circle back around to how soft they were and there’ll never be another and I am going to have to pace around a bit. I loved it. I love them. I nearly screamed when it took Nesta a few more chapters to realize it was a mating bond, and then Cassian just bolted because he also couldn’t quite deal with it, and I am still not super sold on the mating bond, like, as a thing, but I kind of went into this book pretty certain this was going to happen, so...good. Also them arguing by the Sidra, oof. 
There was a lot of sex in this book. I knew there was going to be a lot of sex in this book. I must have told my husband four different times, “God, there is a lot of sex in this book.” Some of it was good. Some of it was kind of cloying in its descriptions. I genuinely lol’ed at Nesta fantasizing about being straight up railed by both Cassian and Azriel. (Why was that in there? Still don’t really know, felt a lot like very obvious fan service, but it was also kind of hysterical.)
JEALOUSY DIDN’T MAKE ME WANT TO RIP MY EYES OUT I hate jealousy plots. HATE THEM. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves in relationship writing, but I was super into it here??? Cassian cutting in on the dance and TAKING DANCING LESSONS. It was good. I enjoyed it. 
Nesta’s Power Yo. YO. This was really cool. She was terrifying and out of control, while also learning how to be in control and intimidating and I was like YES, GET IT. When Rhys flew into the House and Nesta was just wrapped in silver flames, that was super cool. Also Rhys being freaked out by her? Kind of bad ass, honestly. But. But! I wish it was explored even more. I wish we got to learn what she could really do and the extent to which she could do it, because I thought it was a fascinating possibility to parallel Nesta to Feyre and I don’t really think we got that. Like, Feyre Cursebreaker — with power given from all the High Lords, this bringer of new life and a fresh start for all the courts. Then her sister — with power stolen from the Cauldron itself and death at her fingertips. With all the comparisons of Feyre and Nesta, I really figured we’d be gunning towards that eventually ESPECIALLY with Feyre being pregnant, and the idea of life in that capacity. Also, what was the point of Lucien saying “Gods help you all” or whatever he said when he was watching Nesta train if...nothing ever really came from that? We’ll circle back around to that in a second, during what will be my ending-based soliloquy, but first let’s talk about—
Feyre Being Pregnant, Why That Kind of Felt Like Twilight and Why I Get Why Rhys Was Being an Idiot Listen, part of the reason I wanted to read this book was for what I assumed would be the Feysand crumbs we’d get. Most of me was convinced that this book would not take place in Velaris and I was mentally prepared for that. Color me pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t and we got an IC feast. But. But! Part two! I’ve mentioned how I’m never really here for...pregnancy being like this ultimate endgame, and I understand why Feysand wanted a kid and I get it, I do. Just the whole thing with she’s going to DIE felt very Bella Swan, was kind of dramatic in mela-sort of way and I TOTALLY GET WHY RHYS KEPT THE WINGS A SECRET. Was it idiotic? Yeah, of course. But I don’t think we talk about his trauma enough, really. Those fifty years under the Mountain are not just gong to disappear, and I cannot really blame him for totally losing his mind at even the idea of Feyre dying. This is not a dude who is trying to control Feyre. I’ve never felt that way about Rhys. At all. This is a dude who has already lost ALL of HIS control and is desperately trying to hang on. He’s already had his entire world shattered six ways to Sunday, this was obviously going to destroy him. Aside from, y’know, straight up killing him too. (That was dumb, guys.) And I think telling Feyre would have made it REAL for Rhys, which he obviously could not cope with. Was I surprised that Feyre’s pregnancy was such a big plot point in a book that was supposed to be super Nessian focused? Yeah, for sure. But also—I like established relationships and Feyre and Rhys could not stop making eyes at each other. Not totally here for the deadly pregnancy trope, not totally here for using family as a trauma recovery, but sort of understand it. 
Training, Valkyries and Friendship Bracelets Like I said, I thought this book was gong to take place in the Illyrian camps way more than it did, but I L O V E D the training sessions. Adored Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn’s friendship and how often they teamed up to snark Cassian and Azriel. I was painfully here for all three of them together and the sleepover in the House warmed the cockles of my cold, dead heart. Especially when the bracelets proved so important during the Blood Rite. Which—let’s talk about the Blood Rite. Didn’t expect that!! Was pleasantly surprised by that!! Nesta drawing the literal line in the dirt made me fist pump the air. (And is another parallel to Feyre and her taking inspiration from old Fae legends, but that’s neither here nor there, whatever I’m not here to harp on missed opportunity.) I thought it was really important that all three of them got to showcase their own power too, and how they worked SO WELL together and I was just really glad that there was such focus on this sisterhood outside of literal sisterhood. I thought those relationships were so well done and it was just such a joy to read about their growth and strength and I loved them. Am I here for Gwyn and Azriel? Maybe. Possibly more here for Emerie and Mor? Maybe maybe. 
The House I thought it was Amren, for a very long time. Like secretly helping Nesta still and I was really into that idea and really into Amren not being able to totally let Nesta go and I wasn’t really into Nesta bowing to Amren. 
THE ENDING Oh my God, so much happened. So quickly. With some occasionally jarring scene cuts. The Blood Rite surprised me, but I was not surprised by Cassian getting ensnared by the crown. Fully expected something like that to happen, was still making ridiculous noises when he tried to turn the dagger on himself instead of killing Nesta. LOST MY MIND WHEN NESTA UNMADE THE QUEEN. I’m still sort of...confused about the Trove, though. I know there are a fair number of hanging plot threads that are gong to lead into other stories, but I just—I don’t know, when they were talking about the High King and everything I sort of thought they were leading towards Nessian being that. I know the whole IC was very into Rhys and thematically it made sense, but also let’s consider—I don’t want that? Rhys needs to get his shit in order and his own Court to calm the fuck down and again I think the potential for LORD OF THE BASTARDS and LADY DEATH to ascend to this position of power and lead the world into this new era was there and I just, I don’t know, I liked the idea of it. Particularly when so many people have referred to Nesta as a Queen. That whole thing in the prison happened, y’know? I’m not sure (read: I’m fairly positive) that won’t happen now, especially because Nesta gave up so much of her power to save Feyre. And I know that’s a TALKING POINT™ but also...I was pretty cool with that? Once it came out that Feyre was going to die, it made sense that Nesta would be the one to save her—to twist death again, and kind of seize control of it. Granted, I’m still a little confused by the Trove and what everyone’s going to do with all that power, but Nesta saving Feyre was this perfect sort of wrap up. For me, at least. I think they balance each other out in a lot of respects, and that was really the last step of Nesta’s growth. Also, uh, back on my Feysand ‘ish and Rhys screaming and crying and trying to get to Feyre? o o o f. Also, also, RHYS BOWING TO NESTA. I CANNOT TELL YOU THE LAST TIME I CRIED AT A BOOK, BUT I CRIED AT THIS BOOK. RHYS, BABY, I ADORE YOU. 
Nesta Finding Herself I just really—liked it. I think sometimes in these sorts of stories we get people who are so focused on characters being “the bitch” and having an edge and we have a tendency to think that’s what makes them STRONG. Nah, that ain’t it, son. I don’t want to read about someone being a dick just for sake of being a dick. Nesta was NOT IN A GOOD PLACE. She was self-imploding and destroying herself and getting her POV made it blatantly clear that she thought she deserved that. That she truly believed she didn’t deserve anyone else. And as much as the romance was good and the friendships were fantastic, the key to this story was Nesta (as cheesy as it sounds) learning to love herself. To find worth in her own self. Reading about Nesta simply learning to want to live again, for no one except herself, was really, really good and I think, for the most part, well done. Which is why it makes sense that Nesta gives up some of her power. This isn’t about being A BAD BITCH, PATENT PENDING. This is about love, and joy and embracing your own faults. I get the disappointment over Nesta losing her power. I do. But I’m not sure she totally did? Maybe that’s too positive, or too naive, or something, but...whatever. 
Other things that I really enjoyed, include but are not limited to: Cassian having allergies Nesta absolutely decimating Tamlin. And Tamlin’s just like...a lion all the time now, huh? And, uh, also is Tamlin Gwyn’s dad??? Like, is that a thing? Am I crazy?  Nesta telling Elain to fuck off (Also, Elain—darling, I wish you got more character development. Elain is to SJM what Belle is to me in CS fic. Sometimes I think she just forgets about her.) Azriel calling out Cassian for getting BLOWN at the dining room table Azriel getting Nesta a Solstice gift and then THEY HUGGED Nesta wanting an over the top mating ceremony. Get it, girl.  Feyre going full on Court of Nightmares in the Hewn City Nesta making it down the steps
Other things I thought we’d get more of and just...didn’t Whatever the fuck Lucien has been up to, and more on the continent with Vassa and Juran More stuff in Illyria Reaction to the trio in the Blood Rite Amren and Nesta reconciling. I know Nesta apologized, but Amren kind of got on my nerves.  Nesta understandably criticizing the IC and their tendency to get a little sanctimonious.  THREE SISTER PEAKS. THREE BAT BOYS. THREE VALKYRIE. WHAT IS IT SARAH? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 
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schiste-argileux · 4 years
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Idw Prowl is an evil SOB (took him two years to send the Wreckers to Garrus-9 and help Maxy (who was protecting all the war crimes the Bots did), put Maxy’s torturer and a war criminal on board the Lost Light cuz why not, sent Pharma to Delphi knowing it was DJD territory)
Prowl... Prowl’s creation and competence in his area of work is astounding. He is brilliant, creative, and defiantly apathetic of this world. But, he is very human in his own way. IDW Prowl is selfish, yet not. He is a unique in that aspect because most people make decisions like his for the sole reason of benefiting themselves. But Prowl’s sole reason of existing is to create PEACE. 
Peace. Peace can only be done when people are complacent, happy, and satisfied. When things are stationary. Stable. 
But life is never stable. Elements desire to form bonds, yet are almost always leaning towards to instability... Prowl’s form of PEACE is a world where there is no fighting. But everything sentient requires to fulfill its desires. As long as there is desire, people will fight. 
A world of PEACE would be a world of full control, there are no surprises, no change. Safety, routines, and constants. No creativity, no development... nothing. stagnant. 
But I must admire Prowl’s tenacity and dedication to this world! 
He sacrifices everything for the sake of the directive, preserve cybertron, PEACE. He sacrifices his morals (Robot Gets Bullied By a Human), his dignity (Recent News, Cop Accepts Orgy For The Means of Establishing Peace, his body (Recent News, Cop gets Molested by A Spider for The Autobot Cause), and of course, thousands of lives (Not Recent News). :D Prowl respects and understands that there will always be chaos and instability, and he is so very flexible around it all! He literally can maximize everything and anything he has. He is the embodiment of consequentialism with a lil dash of politics. I wish my group project members were 1% as productive as him! Prowl tries to put everything black and white, and he gets upset when things get far more tricky, and wants to get everything in control so people can stay safe and remain in peace and not fight! And that’s a respectable goal! Control can be good, it means one understands and is able to retain themselves and the thing they are controlling. But Prowl doesn’t want to accept that there are things out of his control. And Prowl likes to think he’s justified when he controls the uncontrollable. 
I mean, yeah, if he didn’t do what he did, the autobots would have been six feet under A LOT EARLIER. Optimus is not a good leader, preserving organic life over his own soldiers? Psh. Look at Spike, he’s got valid points and can I understand why he left the ‘bots. Prowl’s probably thinking everyday, DAMN, OP, WHY R U SO DUMB. LISTEN WE NEED TO FEED OUR SOLDIERS AND PRIORITIZE OUR SPECIES LIVES INSTEAD OF THIS FUCKING CARBON BASED CIRCLE. HELLO??? And literally Prowl could have been like I’m gonna get ya assassinated so I CAN HAVE IT MY WAY. But Prowl was BORN for the RULES. To follow, to MAKE PEACE. Killing the prime figurehead is against that, even if it would make his life way easier! (hence, not that selfish and also sad that your life is the rules. That’s a short leash, but he makes due)
Honestly I feel bad for Prowl. Must suck to be so big brain that everyone hates you when you say the truths (but also you could learn some more tricks from Jazz to be nicer and hide the truth, but that’s scary because a nicer prowl means more people he can trick and use. Thanks Prowl for being so straightforward! Now people can avoid you easier). He's so straightforward about things that need to be done, he’s in constant denial about the grey area of life!
That’s why when Spike slapped Prowl with reality slaps, Prowl lost some of his shit. Remember, nearly everyone had the edgy depressed time in their teens or young adult years where you realize the world is truly unfair and nothing is black and white? Yeah. Slap that on a 6+ million year old robot with a battle computer and is capable of big brain CPU-age, and was literally built for the sole purpose of enforcing rules and making peace? And no one really cared about Prowl enough to understand him and his background. So Prowl goes through his angst moment alone with his huge titties, frustrated. THIS. IS. WHY. YOU. COMMUNICATE. YA DINGUS. 
Prowl doesn’t become a school shooter like Pharma cuz hes got bigger brain and a lot more power and control over himself, but he literally becomes Shadow The Hedgehog (Even if the world’s against me I’ll fight like I’ve always have). HE’S GONE ROGUE. MA’AM, SIR, THE FUCKING OREO COOKIE HAS TRANSFORMED AND ROLLED OUT.  like. OP was the one thing holding prowl back, which was good! But now prowl’s on the roll and bumblebee is too nice and passive to hold him back. + the bombshell brainwash? feels so bad. being prowl sucks. because Prowl is a necessary evil. 
At least he’s wonderfully blunt about his goal to create a peaceful cybertron, which makes it easier if you want to avoid him or smth. meanwhile you have fake people IRL that smile their way through and then slit your throat and you won’t even know it was them (hey jazz, no offense, but that’s what spec ops does). Fakers are the scariest enemy, but Prowl is still a threat, just not as big as a someone who fluffs you up on a balloon and then pops it. Prowl would just be like, hey, you’re really useful, come over here in my white van i wanna show you something and then maybe you get destroyed. But hey! You were the one with the highest chance of surviving compared to other people! Isn’t that great? You’re so skilled WOW. (Prowl gets punched. Again!) Prowl represents the necessary evil in society. We WILL ALWAYS HAVE EVIL people in this world. But Prowl is a far better evil than people who do evil for their own selfish reasons. It’s like how we have law enforcers and politicians . It’s basically giving them legal rights to do illegal things (lmao). BUT we need them regardless. We need those people to get their hands dirty, possibly killed, so that people can live in innocence and peace. 
I don’t think Prowl ever realized that he was a necessary evil, and when Spike showed him that, he was bitter. But he accepted it. Which I respect because most people can’t be bothered to understand themselves and just throw themselves in denial, and point fingers for their flaws. Prowl sucks up and understands who he is, and he makes the best of it to achieve his goal.  I mean, honestly? Prowl is probably a miracle worker. Not in a Ratchet sense. But look at the way modern governments run, nothing gets done, everything is stalled because no one has the guts to make sacrifices. Prowl would have gotten a shit ton of things done, man, and take quick efficient action. Even if he sacrifices many things for it.  (Warning. I do not condone any taking of lives, NO ONE has the right to judge whenever a person should live or die.)  Prowl reminds me of 秦始皇 (Qin Shi Huang), the king who unified China and sacrificed millions to make the Great Wall, canals, and road systems that last to this day. If it wasn’t for these accomplishments, China wouldn’t have been what it is today. Was it a good thing? For the future residents of China? Hell yeah. But the costs? Those are sins that can never be erased, and they are horrible and shouldn't be done ever again. Was it necessary? Perhaps. But that’s another discussion. Is Prowl evil? Depends on your definition of evil. Perhaps he’s justified, perhaps in his world, he’ll go down as the Qin Shi Huang of the Cybertronians. Regardless, Prowl like Pharma, is an EXCELLENT example to study on public ethics, and administrative officials should analyze him and learn from his mistakes and sins.  I think Prowl is not evil in a sense that he wishes to harm others, but evil in a sense of his apathy. Prowl is a necessary component to a functional society (someone to plot, to use people, to enforce rules even if some are sacrificed, someone who can get their hands dirty). He lives a terrible and sad fate, and I do not wish ANYONE to live a life like Prowl’s or look up to Prowl. Yes, he’s so clever and brilliant, but that kind of power will make you the loneliest person on Earth.
Thanks Prowl for taking the entire load of sin on your shoulders! Big MVP! You get nothing from the world except hate and contempt.  I would go on about him more but I have IRL stuff to do. I love Prowl as an example to tell people that MODERATION. COMMUNICATION. AND COMPASSION are important factors to have a healthy and good mental state. Prowl is the perfect example of someone who doesn’t want to empathize (haha so many people are like this today), who doesn’t want to try to use more braincells and friends help to make better plans that are more moderate and not extreme, and who doesn’t want to talk to anyone thinking its a waste of time or have difficulty explaining things.  BUT I LOVE G1 PROWL because he has far more patience and manners, and doesn’t take a darker, route for his goals. awhohdohd he’s baby,,, i wish all cops had patience and manners and in general open-minded yet cautious enough not to be taken advantage of,,,, perhaps then we wouldn’t have so much polarization and fighting with authority in this world.... 
uwuwwuwuwuw they did prowl so dirty in idw WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ;____;   Again, you are welcome to disagree or agree! I wrote this really quickly so I’m sure there will be points that could be clarified or edited. Prowl’s really complicated and I do not like to talk about current IRL problems, but Prowl represents a lot of problems in society. And I think it’s critical if we try to look at both perspectives to get an understanding on WHY people do these things, and is there a solution to AVOID making those same mistakes? There’s a couple of controversial things in this short essay I wrote, esp. about cops IRL. So feel free to have at it! Or ignore it! Whichever is more comfortable for you! Thanks for coming to my ted talk! Again, Prowl is a bad influence and a sorrowful life to live. please do not try to be like prowl. xD I won’t intrude on you if you do, because you have a right to live the life you want as long as you’re not hurting other people’s interests and wellbeing! 
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ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣👏🏼𝔸𝕟𝕒𝕪𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕚𝕤👏🏼
Next up is!
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Belphegor
I didn’t know who I wanted to talk about! I was gonna go in order, but after thinking about it I really really want to talk about Belphie. This whole fandom is either stanning Belphie or hating him for basically murdering MC (some are also really indifferent lmao)
Now I’m pretty indifferent to Belphie myself. I don’t hate him or love him, but I do enjoy his personality and how he’s portrayed as far as we see him. What I want to do is go through Belphie’s character and just talk about him as a whole and if he’s a misunderstood emo reject or some badly written character! 
 This is most likely going to be l o n g so I took the liberty of putting everything under the cut!  ( ´ ∀ `)ノ~ ♡
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆  。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
Introduction to Belphegor, The Avatar of Sloth
Alright so like the rebel MC is she goes up the stairs (cause fuk u boomer Luci-) and finds no one other than Belphegor. Of course the player/MC isn’t aware this is Belphie (unless you’ve followed the devs/had more than one brain-cell) 
Anyway so we run into mr. cow man and the first thing he says is 
I knew you were the one person who’d be able to find me.
I find this strange along with Belphie calling MC’s name like he knows or is aware. Anyway we’re not getting all conspiracy theory! (yet  👀) 
Assuming you asked the strange man who you just found in the attic who he was. He claims that he forgot himself a long time ago. He claims he’s also a human who’s been imprisoned by a demon and is stuck there. Belphegor goes on to tell you Lucifer locked him in there and MC has to help him out. Belphegor proceeds to let you know that the door is sealed with magic and the only way of escaping is for MC to get the consent of the other 6 brothers. Which is his fun way of saying MC has to make a pact with all of them and that they have to gain the brother’s trust. 
And just like MC had made a deal that would change their life forever. 
So taking in the event of when you meet Belphie apart we can grab a few things about his character right off the bat
Manipulative 
Cunning
Knows more than he leads on 
A n y w a y! That next night MC goes to the kitchen and Mammon has them eat Beel’s custard. Or at least a little bit. Beel comes in just in time tho and Mammon’s evil scheme is ruined and Beel basically almost attacks them but really just destroys the wall that connects the kitchen and MC’s room!
Of course Lucifer catches wind of this, gives them a three hour lecture and a jealous Mammon later MC is in Beel’s room for the time being until their room is fixed. 
so a thing of note here is that when Lucifer assigned MC to sleep in Beel’s room all he said was Beel’s room instead of including Belphie almost blatantly pretending he doesn’t exist, but this is most likely MC doesn’t know him so it’s pointless to say Belphie’s name. I just thought I’d point it out to maybe show how bad Luci and Belphie’s relationship is here! So we get to Beel’s room and we see two beds. There are two options that pop up 
- Go to the bed on the left -  - Go to the bed on the right -
If you go to the bed on right immediately Beelzebub stops you and tells you to sleep in his bed while he’ll take the couch. Of course we only get one option and it’s 
- why -
Because there are two beds Beelzebub you don’t have to sleep on the couch what??
But Beel informs us that the other bed belongs to his twin brother, Belphegor. Beelzebub is also kind enough to inform us where he is! If you’ve been paying attention there’s seven brothers but you only met six. So where’s the other one? Anyway back to Beel he tells us Belphegor is in the human world as an exchange student. 
- You’ve got a twin brother? - 
- He’s in the human world? - 
As we know usuallypickingtheoptionsdon’tmattersoifIdon’ttalkaboutbothoptionsjustassumeitdidn’tmatter! So with picking he went to the human world Beelzebub explains that Belphie went to the human world along with a demon named Diaval(ApparentlythisisareftoanotherSWDgame🙄🙄 I just can’t believe they bought it, it sounds suspiciously close to Diavolo.) Beel then goes on to explain to us that Belphie had a falling out with Lucifer so he was “chosen” to go to the exchange program. 
Sidenote: If you pick “You’ve got a twin brother?” All Beel will tell you is yeah but they don’t look alike at all
As Beel talks a bit more MC remembers their interaction with Belphie they’re immediately sus. 
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In the flashback you can see MC’s thought process as they think back to their interaction with belphie it was very suspicious that Belphie knew about the pacts with Mammon and Levi and being a human it’s also suspicious he would’ve just picked Beelzebub’s name and say he’s the best choice. Unless they were already close with one another. So to confirm their suspicions MC asks if they can see Belphegor. of course beelzebub agrees to it and takes MC to the portrait hall to show her what he looks like. 
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So with that MC goes back up to the attic. 
We’re greeted with Belphie again asking us how’d it go. Obviously this was such a short time ago so maybe Belphie has already realized he’s been caught. So he asks us if we gained Beelzebub’s trust yet and without answering his question we have one of our own. 
Are you Belphegor? 
Belphegor responds saying we’re no fun. Admitting his defeat and that we figured him out. Belphegor goes on to introduce himself to us officially. 
- You’re a liar! -
- Why did you lie to me? - 
- I knew it... -
So we have three options this time. They all lead to Belphie calling us stupid..Trust me I checked  🙄 🙄
Belphie with all of these options never just calls the MC stupid you can almost tell there is some malice with humans in general as he calls all humans stupid and foolish. But with the “Why did you lie to me?” option Belphegor explains that it wasn’t lying it was just teasing seeing how he figured MC would catch on soon enough it wasn’t anything bad. With the “You’re a liar!” option Belphegor is confused but realizes MC meant when he told them he’s a human. He tells MC to call him a liar if they so wish but to remember something important. 
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Belphegor knows he can’t do anything about MC here so he just tells them to not be so stupid to trust demons so easily. I think Belphie doesn’t hate MC or maybe he does it’s never clear with the first interaction as it comes off very mockingly towards MC like he’s just having fun playing them as a fool. So he doesn’t give off the vibe that he wants to kill MC. He’s trapped so all he can do is get under their skin and make them scared. So it’s hard to tell if Belphegor is telling MC to be wary because he knows how demons can be and a human can get themselves killed easily or if he’s just trying to make them afraid. Either way he sees it as amusing I mean what else can he do trapped in an attic? I believe Belphie is doing both in a way where he wants to play MC and see how it goes. They already have two pacts albeit it’s Mammon and Levi, but that’s still a feat especially in that short amount of time so Belphie maybe curious and wants to see how this all plays out. 
Anyway, Belphie assumes Beel told MC about him and that is proof enough that Beelzebub trusts us(Of course he most likely hopefully doesn’t know that we’re sharing a room) Belphegor continues with saying that all the brothers believe he went to the human world as an exchange student (we never ask him why he knows that or a lot of shit about what’s going on) Belphegor comments on how he’d loved to see the looks on their faces if they found out it was Lucifer who was keeping him locked in this filthy attic. But he laughs at the end like he finds it funny. Which brings me back to my point of I believe Belphie finds it amusing but also really frustrating he’s just waiting to see what will happen. 
We can see Belphie’s thought process in the next thing he says 
I lied you, sure. But Lucifer did lock me up here. That’s the truth.
Belphegor holds a grudge against Lucifer for locking him the attic. You can tell by the way he talks. 
- Why don’t you get your brothers to help you? -
As an only option, we ask Belphegor and he tells us he would've done that a long time ago if he could. They’d freak out and confront Lucifer, leading to a war that could envelop the entire Devildom. 
I’d like to find a peaceful resolution to all this. For Lucifer, for the devildom, and for the human world as well. Personally, I’d like to have a proper, face-to-face talk with Lucifer. 
Sure we may have had a falling out, but really, it was only a little misunderstanding. If I could just talk with him, he’d realize that was the case. 
I need to find some way to get out of here, find Lucifer, and have a talk with him. That’s all I want. And that’s the truth. You understand, right?
There’s a lot to unpack here. 
I don’t think Belphie is lying. I will admit I never believed the “I want to settle things peaceful for all the three worlds.” But I do believe Belphie wants to settle things with Lucifer and go back to how they were. Belphie probably sees Lucifer as a big pushover and not how he was when they were in the Celestial Realm. Belphie sees from his point of view that it’s Lucifer’s fault and he did nothing to be locked in the attic so he keeps making sure you know it’s Lucifer’s fault. With the way he brings up Lucifer a lot and trying to make you side with him. 
He’s just the nice brother that got locked up for nothing and his big meanie older brother did it uwu he’s a soft boy OwO.
The “You understand, right?” is most likely Belphie making sure you believe him.
Of course MC replies 
You might still be lying to me. 
Belphie says he’s not surprised it can’t be helped. He tells you he counts on you and if you ever come back to talk he’s waiting.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆  。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
Belphegor, a free man
I don’t wanna touch on this too long cause this analysis is already LONG and I still got the timeline and the changed Belphie to touch on!
In lesson 14 you’ll remember Lucifer yelling at us cause we let that we saw Belphie slip. Well you’ll also remember coming out quickly and the last of them is yep 
Belphie. Lucifer still hasn’t told the other brothers about Belphie being locked away anyway that doesn’t matter in this analysis as my focus is on Belphegor. So Belphegor is angry he comes out and most of his anger is directed at Lucider saying how he bets he didn’t expect him to come here after thinking he’s gotten rid of him. 
So Belphie thinks Lucifer was just chucking him aside after what happened with Diavolo. 
Alright fast foward to Diavolo arresting Belphie for treason and talk about what Belphegor did specifically. So Belphegor was ready to destroy all of humanity cause he hated this exchange program so much. Diavolo says that Belphegor always hated humans which is true. Replaying the game and paying most attention to Belphie and his words you can see he hates humans and thinks they’re all stupid. But why?
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆  。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚          A Different TimeLine
Now this is most of what I want to touch on! 
So Diavolo has MC go back into the past to see who opens the door for him and lets him out. I’m not gonna go into the timeline mess it scares me and it would take me a WHILE and this is already long enough! 😂😅
So MC gets into the attic and we see Belphegor! y a y I g u ES s
So you get into the attic with cowman and he laughs weirdly and talks about how Lucifer and Diavolo would have never expected him escaping especially with the help of a human. He opens his arms to you for a hug. 
- Hug Him - - Nu-uh I don’t think so! -
Either way these two options get the same results Belphegor fucking murders you  😂😂😂 
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But MC switches to a different time line and sees themselves dying in Mammon’s arms. MC pops out and before Belphie kills them a g a i n. MC tells him Lilith lived like Lucifer explained before. 
I waited to talk about Lilith and why he hates humans cause I wanted to go over all his actions again.
Belphegor hates humans because of Lilith’s love interest who was sick and Lilith risked it all and that caused her death. He holds resentment to not just that man but all humans, but it hasn’t always been like this. Levi says numerous times that Belphie actually quite loved humans and their culture. Levi also explains he loved to hear what the humans did and the new stuff they had and collecting things humans have made. The Celestial War was probably a traumatizing one for the boys all having different effects on them and his happened to be a grudge he held for the man he sees as the reason Lilith is dead. To me with the grudge is this irrational way of thinking which is “All humans are bad” so he disconnected himself as much as he could from humans. 
I don’t believe personally that Belphegor hates humans I think it was the impact of Lilith’s death and the reason she did something so reckless that got her killed that in specific is what he hates, but he can’t accept that in some way it’s Lilith’s fault as well. He takes all his frustration and lets it out on humans. I don’t think he’s a bad person just someone who’s scared of losing another person he loves. It’s not just a grudge to humans I believe he holds some resentment to Lucifer I believe he sees Lucifer as some pushover now especially since he stood up for Lilith in the war and now he’s basically sucking Diavolo’s dick and not standing up for them like when Belphegor was against the idea of the exchange program. He probably figured his brother would stand up for him, but he didn’t he just tossed him into the attic and left him there to rot. That’s probably how Belphie saw the situation not knowing Lucifer did it to actually protect him. 
Anyway thank you for coming to my Ted Talk!  ☆⌒(≧▽​° )
This is the most I’ve ever written for a post and I love it! I decided to take a few days and work on something I really like and that’s analyzing characters. Sorry if it seems there isn’t much for Belphie we just don’t spend too much time with him and for the new timeline I dunno! It just doesn’t feel like the boys so I’ve decided that I wouldn’t do the new timeline! 
This isn’t supposed to be taken too seriously just something I did out of fun! I hope you enjoyed reading and thank you so much if you did!! I know it’s alot!  🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍 🖤 🤍
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soccialcreature · 4 years
Text
rebels s4 first-time watch liveblogging! (just jedi knight on bcuz i only wanna watch the good eps of this show)
sorry. the hair is bad. maybe dont let a blind man give himself a haircut
kanan and hera r the only too bitches i care about in this house
theyre soooo cuuuute ugh
y go to the fuel depot tho that seems like a recipe for disaster
kanan didnt have to b dramatic about it i think they all cudve gotten away if he had just got in the ship. theyve been in tighter situations before
can kanan b a force ghost tho? just to talk to hera. idc about the others. hera seems rly broken up about this
hera: *crying*.  chopper:  bur bur. bur bur bur bur bur.    hera: *sniffles* youre right
ezra and hera reminiscing about kanan is actually really good and really hits :(
the side plot is stupid. y not just use a bomb-bomb and kill that little grey bitch. a fuckin paint bomb? r u serious?let zeb kill him bitch goddamnit zeb deserves a little murder. as a treat
what the fuck is happening
god fucking damnit dave u fucking furry ive had enough of these fucking wolves
i hate how they talk
EZRA SAID “AHSOKA” <33333
leave hera alone she needs like 5 fucking minutes to grieve her baby-daddie’s death goddamn
FUCK YEAHHHHH WE R GOING BACK TO THE JEDI TEMPLE i love the jedi i miss the clone wars :(
im gonna say it. the loth-cats cudve been cuter
ohmygod dave finally made his dream come true of having his characters ride wolves (bcuz he said he wanted ahsoka to ride a wolf at some point. but these guys riding wolves r fine too i guess. ahsoka makes anything cooler tho... jus sayin)
AHSOKA
this is some force-power-bullshit that i can GET BEHIND. TELEPORTING WOLVES HELL YEAH
WHY CUDNT THEY JUST FUCKING KEEP THE STORMTROOPER OUTFITS THAT THEY STOLE THE FIRST TIME WHY. DO THEY HAVE TO DO THIS SAME BULLSHIT EVERY. GODDAMN. EPISODE
they literally have no asses
who the fuck is this crusty bitch
COURUSCANT lets go there. i miss the clone wars :(
wait wheres rex. is he safe? is he alright?
y does sabine have to b here
good job ezra u got it. u cracked the code. ahsoka is the daughter <3
sorry nothing was happening so i blanked out for a bit but now we are in the world between worlds AND I AM HEARING THE VOICES OF ALL OF MY FRIENDS GOD I LOVE U GUYS OBI WAN AHSOKA ANAKIN I LOVE YALL
this scene is very cool tho
ugh stop can i skip the sabine scenes? i wanna hang out w ezra in the world between worlds
AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA
SO FUCKING COOOOOOOL
she shud do the thing again where she falls onto her back and kicks the enemy away i think thatd b rly fun
hellooooo hottie
ahsoka  <3
does she know shes the baddest bitch in the galaxy? i feel like she doesnt know. i feel like sabine thinks SHES the baddest bitch in the galaxy but rly its ahsoka
is it like ahsokas job is to dramatically go “anakin...” 
when did she name the fucking bird
ok god complex ezra
ahsokas been through so much shit in her lifetime. she can literally understand any trauma just name it
cud we not have done one more take to have my guy palps say ahsokas name correctly? i mean its not a huge deal but like. was he payed by the second???
“i will. i promise” ahsoka ur so fucking cute
wh
whered it go
how can the entire temple just skrrt away
REX
KALLUS
AHHH MY FRIENDS
WOLFFE AND GREGGOR
HONDO
okay what the fuck is happening y did everyone just show up
ahsoka said “ima take a nap hmu after the finale”
i hate this fuckin grey dude
hondo ily
sorry i stopped paying attention but wolffe just had a line so im back now
OHMYGOSH
BOYFRIENDS
KALLUZEB IN THE SAME FRAME OHMYGOODNESS
oh my fuck this next episode is HOW MANY MINUTES LONG?????
hera in this ep b like ‘am i gregnant?’
kallus ur the coolest bitch in this whole show (minus ahsoka)
go hera <3
yo what the fuck
this episode is 47 goddamn minutes so that we have time for this pig catapulting bullshit?
the whole second half of this show is just the writers making excuses to have thrawn do absolutely nothing while still pretending like he’s a threat
why r there 2 separate animal dues ex machinas in this finale?
yoooo ezra i actually rly like u bro :(((
hey where the fuck is darth vade y did he just dip out of the show. i feel like he cud help the empire out in this situation
very weird that thrawn supports sabines patreon or whatever the fuck
heyyyy palpatine what the fuck
they were rly broken up about kanans death for like. an episode. but theyre chill now theyre over it
y is palpatine into ezra?
can kallus and zeb smooch? just once? please? wud that b so hard?
how is this pig not dead
oh lmao he is dead hahahahahahah
im still confused about how greggor didnt die in clone wars. i thought he died? was i tripping?
palpatine is trying so hard not to saw “dewit” right now
what does destroying the temple accomplish?
HOW R THEY STORMTROOPERS MISSING THESE SHOTS WHAT THE FUCK HE IS A STATIC TARGET
oh so NOW ull kill the little grey bitch
GOD FUCK THE PIG IS ALIVE????? ARGH U AINT CUTE BITCH. JUST DIE
y cant he get out of there tho
bro a bitch is crying
yooo
theyre dating
hera’s makeup
the way i broke down when i saw ahsoka
tears
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461lightfire · 4 years
Text
Just some things I needed to talk about...
So… I really want to talk about this since I come across anon hate and hate or ungreatful people more often than I probably should.
A lot of my moots (I call y’all my moots because we more or less interact with each other :D) are getting hate for nothing. They just breathe and all they get is hate. Yeah sure, some of them also get positive comments from anons but that doesn’t mean that those hate anons aren’t there. 
I really don’t understand what’s wrong in someone’s head that this person have to be this mean and rude to different people. Like telling someone to kill themselves? Really? Y’all always preach about “mental health is so important” but none of you even dares to think about the mental health of others. When I joined Tumblr back in July 2019 and started my blog, there was nothing about hate. Everyone supported each other. 
By the time 2020 happened, I met a lot of super duper cute and super duper nice people. They all were happy in the beginning but slowly after I saw more and more anons hate them in their inbox, even told them to kill themselves. Like for real? You know that people with a lower mental stability tend to do such things? And that a lot of people struggle with these thoughts? What if that Tumblr user really does kill himself? Would you be happy? I bet not. You would have a bad conscience about it, maybe even guilt trip. That’s at least something I hope you do. Nonetheless, STOP doing this. It hurts people to read something like that and you never know what consequences it could have. 
Another point I want to talk about is people being impatient. Like don’t you have a life outside of Tumblr? I started doing rps with people back in October where I didn’t have a workplace. In January I had some job interviews and found a new job where I could start working at on Feb. 1st. So I updated y’all on this matter and TOLD my followers that I will hardly be on here since I started working again. I tried answering them when I had days off. But it is normal that someone DOES NOT WANT TO SPEND THEIR DAYS OFF ON TUMBLR ANSWERING RP ASKS. I can do what I want on Tumblr. If I’m NOT in the mood for answering asks, I am still allowed to scroll through my dash, liking and reblogging stuff, as well as answering asks that moots sent me. I can even post things if I have something I want to share. I always tried my best in answering your rps and I tried to do it as often as possible. When you had to wait a little longer doesn’t mean I forgot about the rp, It just meant that I wasn’t in the mood to answer. 
Then we had this one anon that had the audacity to call me out in a rude way and asked:
”r u gunna answer rp asks anytime soon or?”
This was just plain rude. But thanks for destroying the fun for everyone. I, myself, am a person with quite a weak mental stability. Reading those asks hurt me. They hurt because I more than often enough said that I am working and ain’t having much time for answering. I also always repeated that I try answering as soon as possible. I drifted off a little..  What I wanted to say.. Thanks to that anon I no longer have the will power and the motivation to write rps because I don’t see the necessity to always repeat myself and then getting hate for taking a little longer to answer than what they expect. So I will stop rping when I finished the ones I have still going. I’ll take a break and decide whether I start rping again or not because I don’t have the stability to ignore those comments. 
After all this negativity I want to say some cute things to my moots:
@mrbangchannie : You’re literally one of the first people I met on here and I really don’t want to miss you in my life anymore. I love you so much that words can’t even describe it. Like I always smile whenever you post or whenever you dm me. On the other hand, I am a bad friend since I barely write to you first and I always feel like I lack in socialising. But nonetheless, I will always talk to you in a way. I know that your time on here will be limited due to work but I hope that we still find ways to contact each other.
@channiesmixtape @particularemu @jisungsjheekies @backhugsforhyunjin @doubleknot42 @straykits : I found all of you basically at the same time because I was scrolling through the #stray kids imagines tag. I love all of you and y’all are really talented with writing. I really appreciate your works on my dash and I always look forward to your stories. I know I’m not always giving feedback on them but I try as much as possible. I Love you all. <3 
@bunnyminho : We barely know each other but I already can’t live without you. Is it weird to say that you basically mean the world to me? >.< (oh gosh I’m blushing again at these words). You know what I mean. ;)
All in all, I hope this whole stuff ends and everyone can have peace again. 
Also: Remember to wash hands, stay inside as much as possible and try to avoid socializing with friends. Call them via Discord, Skype, FaceTime whatever if you really need to see them and talk to them. But most importantly: STAY SAFE AND STAY HEALTHY!
XoXo,
Anna <3
PS.: Please don’t feel attacked if I didn’t tag you, I love y’all equally. <3
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damienthepious · 4 years
Note
also. also because. i am a gremlin. and i shall die of Emotions and take you with me apparently. ["From yourself?" Amaryllis says, her brow furrowed with worry. "Look, I- I know this is uncomfortable, Arum, but- but I know that you've tried to get Damien to- to-"] to ["If you had managed to convince Damien to do it, it'd be cruel, first of all. He doesn't deserve that kind of guilt weighing on him. And second, again, you would be dead, Arum.] please thank i am lov u
[Pick a short passage from any fanfic I’ve written and send it to me, and I’ll give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet]
you’re not a gremlin you are valid and i love you. that is a LONG PASSAGE THO, so BUCKLE UP. Also cw for discussion of depression, suicide, and suicidal thoughts below the cut. fun times with soft fic! or somethingggg
fun fact before we begin! Originally, this conversation was supposed to happen... before the i-love-you confessions. This was supposed to be broken down before they admitted that they cared for each other romantically, but i was having a shitton of trouble working out the trajectory and the ending of the scene, like, what the actual resolution was, and I couldn’t figure out how to make it work in time when all the other stuff in the chapter was good to go. And THEN it was supposed to happen right after the i-love-yous, but that felt SO busy and SO sloppy, so it kept getting shifted backward-
which wound up being kind of a blessing, i think? because here’s the thing- this scene is TENSE, here, and Rilla pushes pretty hard- but the older version was... kind of a FIGHT. Arum was much more aggressive about it, and there was a line in there for a long time- something like You will be gone this time tomorrow ANYWAY, Amaryllis. What does it matter? And then Rilla had this fucking heartbreaking- Missing you and MOURNING you are not the SAME THING, are you even LISTENING to yourself? and there was just... a lot more harshness to the whole thing. I’m glad it got to settle out, and I’m glad they were in a place to be softer with each other for this. It was too important to me that they addressed this, and i didn’t want it to get waysided.
obviously depression and suicidality aren’t things that have easy fixes, and love is not a Cure for mental illness, but i wanted it to be clear that a) rilla and damien are aware of arum’s non-physical hurts and care about them, too, and b) they are an expansion of Arum’s support network, which is SUPER important when coping with mental illness!
The Keep did the best it could, I think, but when it was just the two of them it was harder for the Keep to know what to do when Arum was deep in a depressive episode, and... well, they have a mental link, right? so I kind of assumed... they might share at least shades of this as well. Arum’s depression gets bad, the Keep is probably not having a good time just then either. Harder to take care of each other while you don’t even know how to take care of yourself. But! the initial point! expanding their collective support system is SO important to learning how to better cope with Arum’s mental illness, which has been running him pretty ragged while his physical injuries had him in traction.
Anyway. ANYWAY. the actual section you requested.
["From yourself?" Amaryllis says, her brow furrowed with worry. "Look, I- I know this is uncomfortable, Arum, but- but I know that you've tried to get Damien to- to-"] The reason why Rilla is leading this conversation is partially because Damien hasn’t fully discussed this with her, mostly out of a concern for... like... not betraying Arum’s trust? What happened between Damien and Arum was between them, and Damien wasn’t comfortable outright blurting that to Rilla. This was one of the ones that doesn’t get told. Not directly at least. Another reason why Damien takes a verbal backseat here is that... well.. he’s already said his piece to Arum on this front. The waters brought you here to live is a pretty definitive statement, yeah?
["What? Wh-what did you tell her?" Arum says, turning towards Damien, and he means to snap but his tone sounds more hurt than furious. Damien only sits, his hands clasped in his lap, his lips pressed tight together. "What did you say, knight?"] And, clearly, Damien’s instincts on that front were right. Arum is mortified by the idea that Damien would have aired his (as Arum thinks of it) weakness, and hopelessness. He’s hurt, that Damien might tell on him when it doesn’t matter because it didn’t happen, and he doesn’t feel that way now so clearly it doesn’t matter-
["He didn't tell me anything, Arum." She shakes her head, angling her body a bit more between them, leaning closer.] Rilla knows him too well by now. Tries to head off that hurt/anger and get them on track.
["Nothing specific, at least, but I'm not stupid. I heard you goading him plenty of times, and he said you told him about your- your work before we left, and he said that if he killed you then, it wouldn't have been a slaying and really there's only one way to interpret that evidence-" she pauses, cringes, bites her lip. "You tried to get Damien to kill you."] “it wouldn’t have been a slaying” was always a particular... phrasing that hurt me, i guess you could say.
[Arum freezes, his mouth going dry.] Arum does not like being confronted with his own weaknesses, as he sees them. He especially doesn’t want Amaryllis of all people to know about this- bad enough that Damien had to know.
["I don't know if it was because of guilt or- or depression or panic about the trip or what, but- but I already told you, Arum. I didn't put in all this hard work just for you to die. Just for you to throw all of it away-"] It was, in all honestly, a combination of these factors. Which is part of why Arum continues to panic. he’s still not really used to being seen, especially not in such a vulnerable way.
["I am home, Amaryllis," he manages in a whisper. "You brought me home. There will certainly be no reason for me to- to endanger myself now."] When you’re suicidal, it’s kind of hard to imagine what it’s like to not be suicidal. When you’re out of one of those valleys, it’s kind of hard to remember how deep they can feel. he doesn’t want to think about it. he’s happy right now. he has more than he could have ever dreamed possible, so it’s really hard for him to conceptualize that moment, right now. It’s hard, and it hurts.
["No?" she says weakly. "There wasn't any reason for you to try to goad Damien into killing you back in the hut, either, Arum, but you did it anyway."] no reasons that make sense outside of Depression Brain, at least.
["I-" Arum glances away again, his hand flexing, but she reaches out and takes one of his hands, squeezing tight. His eyes flick to Sir Damien, sitting quiet though his worried eyes are fixed on the pair of them. "I- that was- different-"] He has SUCH a hard time articulating this. Combine that with the fact that he really HATES talking about it. Lizard is having a panic.
["Different how, Arum?"] Rilla is pushing really hard, here, for good reason. She’s terrified that he might pull something after they leave. she hasn’t been away from him barely at ALL in MONTHS, and now she knows he’s suicidal, which is compounding the terror she already has about leaving him. She wants to protect him, from other monsters, from knights, from himself if she needs to. She loves him and she wants him to be safe and happy and if she needs to gently bully him through an uncomfortable conversation then by the fucking saints-
["I did not want you to endanger yourself for me, Amaryllis," he hisses, turning towards her with his tail thrashing. "You- you make the world less cruel, by your actions, your choices, your existence. The both of you. You try, if nothing else, and for you to leap to action and danger for my sake is- was-"] And he breaks. That was the real kicker of it, y’know? She found out that he needed to go home for his Keep and she buckled down, for him, after he had just been confronted with evidence of his former work and the ways it had directly harmed a human he loves. How could he possibly feel like he deserved that sort of care, that sort of consideration? How could he allow her to risk her own safety to get him home? He failed the Keep, he failed her, he failed himself-
in that moment, he was utterly certain that it was better for him to simply set them ALL back in their places. Amaryllis might be unhappy that he was gone, but it would be precisely the same hurt that she would have when she left him at home anyway, wouldn’t it? (pro-tip: No It Wouldn’t) Damien would simply return to being the knight he was always meant to be, and the Keep could grow a new familiar, unburdened by his distant, useless weight (pro-tip: No They Wouldn’t). And there would be no more risk to any of them for his sake. 
[She stares up into his eyes, her hand clasped tight around his wrist, and he clenches his teeth and pretends that his throat is not aching.] It is so hard to explain this to her. Especially while he is... currently fairly distant from the feeling. He’s keyed up, emotionally, because of his renewed proximity to the keep, and because of the giddiness of newly-admitted love. Literally everything feels like A Lot, right now. but this? next level distress.
["If helping me destroyed you, it would be the worst of cruelties I have inflicted upon this world. And I, Amaryllis, have inflicted more than my share of cruelties already."] ouch. I feel like i’ve already unpacked this so just. ouch.
["So you try to take yourself out of the picture instead? Arum-"] She’s horrified. She understands the particularities of Damien’s anxiety by now, how bad that can get, but Arum’s been pretty internal with his own mental health stuff and whatever hints she’s been catching have been somewhat obscured as possibly just... responses to the physical trauma? Him being actively suicidal when he was basically out of the woods physically is... hard for her to cope with.
["The little knight did not bite when provoked regardless, so I hardly see how it matters," Arum growls, and in his periphery he sees Damien flinch, his head ducking.] oh poor Damien. Thinking about how close he actually did come, to ‘biting’
[Amaryllis' grip on his wrist tightens. "You do know that's not comforting, right?] It’s really not. Putting the onus on Damien like that- god, fuck. [It matters because I- because we love you, and because if you die, Arum, you'll be dead. Even if you were trying to protect us in some roundabout way-"] back when this scene was placed before the i-love-yous, that line was “It matters because I- because I care about you,” for... obvious reasons. Rilla, unsurprisingly, is about as bad as Damien is, at hiding her feelings once she admits to them the first time.
[Arum flinches, and she pauses, pressing her lips together for a moment as she visibly chooses a different phrasing.] She knows him well enough by now to understand that he’s flinching because saying that it was altruistic to want to protect him... she knows she shouldn’t push against that.
["If you had managed to convince Damien to do it, it'd be cruel, first of all. He doesn't deserve that kind of guilt weighing on him. And second, again, you would be dead, Arum.] It would be cruel. I think about Rilla’s assessment of Damien from Treacherous Heart sometimes, about the potential deadliness of real guilt for Damien... if he really broke in that moment and loosed that arrow- it would have destroyed him. Especially at that point, when he cared about Arum, even if he didn’t have any proper context to fit that care into, and when he knows how much this creature means to Rilla- RILLA’S heartbreak if she had to come back to that- to that? when she thinks she’s coming back to pack him up for home? when she knows that she loves Arum but is forcing herself to ignore it and push it down and away? Arum killing himself by Damien’s hand in that moment would have destroyed all of them, in a way. but! hey, that’s not the kind of fic i write, yeah? oof. I just think about what-if’s a lot and make myself sad.
Rilla’s emphasis on the kind of hyper-obvious here is... deliberate, also. if you died you’d be dead is something of a redundant statement, duh, but also like... the permanent consequences of a temporary state of mind are fucking important, and Rilla needs to make sure that he understands what he nearly did, and why it matters, and why she’s SCARED for him.
anyway this was a whole fuck of a lot. i hope any of this is interesting or enjoyable and not just. heavy. whoops.
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basilgrimbitch · 4 years
Text
Day Eleven/Twelve: Maniac
I’ve very clearly fallen super behind on the countdown but December is always just so busy. I’m just gonna post when I can. This is a short fic for the angst/song fic prompts. Not my best work but I wanted to write something. the ending is a bit open ended? make of it what you will. 
Words: 2079
Note: the song is Maniac by Conan Gray
No warnings, hope you enjoy :)
_____
SIMON
I walk into the flat and throw myself onto my bed. Can this week just be over? Crowley, I know I’ve had worse. Way worse. I just thought once the humdrum (and my magic) was gone nothing else would hurt this much, but I feel like my heart’s been ripped out, like I’m being drained all over again. That’s why I tried so hard to stop myself from caring so much, placed a distance between us for so long, some kind of wall. But he made me want to break all those walls down just to see him. Now I can’t.
I grab my phone out of my back pocket and start scrolling through Baz’s Instagram because, really, what else can I do anymore? Penny’s at some party with Agatha and well yeah that’s about it. I should go out, do something, do someone. Fuck, I miss Baz.
My phone rings briefly and… oh shit, it’s a text from Baz.
____________
Friday 21/10
Baz <3 [23:44]: Snoww
Baz <3 [23:44]: simoon
Baz <3 [23:45]: i fucked up, fuck fuck fuck ii fuckedup
Baz <3 [23:45]: sory
Read 23:4
____________
Shit he’s drunk. Is he like all alone drunk at home? Or is he out, getting drunk with his friends or minions or whatever the fuck he wants to call them. I don’t know what would be worse. I don’t want to think about this; I don’t want to think about Baz or his hair or his rosy cheeks when he drinks or the fact that I miss him. I can feel the thoughts of him swarm in my head and I try my best to push them back. I used to be good at this. Not thinking. My head is beating like crazy that I can hear the thumping headache.
I decide I’m going to stay in bed and feel sorry for myself until further notice. I put my playlist on shuffle and oh of course, some Conan Gray, it’s like my phone knows I’m not coping with this break up well.
 You were with your friends, partying
When the alcohol kicked in
____________
Friday 21/10
Baz <3 [23:51]: u kno wa fuCK YU
Baz <3 [23:52]: this not myh fualt
Read 23:55
____________
My phone is still chiming and the thumping in my head is still going. I go into the kitchen to grab some Panadol and water and the thumping is louder and louder. Aleister fucking Crowley, it’s not thumping it’s the door knocking. What? How? Why? I look at my phone and it’s close to quarter past midnight - and I have six missed calls from Baz.
 So, you showed up at my home, all alone
With a shovel and a rose
Do you think I'm a joke?
 Of fucking course. Let me just paint you a picture: Baz Pitch plus London rain along with the drinking attitude of a 50-year-old Irishman and a bouquet of flowers (if you can still even call them that; they’re destroyed.) and of course wearing a scowl that says, “I still broke up with you.” Because the git still can’t get over himself, even when he’s drunk at my door holding flowers at midnight.
I want to slam the door in his face. I probably should. But then I hear myself saying,
“Are you okay?”
FUCK!
He takes a deep breath, “Yeahh, yeah… well no.” he’s slurring his words a bit. A month ago, I would’ve teased him about it and kissed him. Now I just stare at him.
“Why are you here, Baz?”
He thinks to himself for a second, I don’t think he knows. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing at all. But for once I know what I’m going to do.
 Cause people like you always want back what they can't have
But I'm past that and you know that
So you should turn back to your rat pack tellin' 'em trash
 “Baz, you should go.”
“But-”
“As long as you’re fine and you’re not driving, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Wow. I didn’t think I could ever do that. He was so gorgeous, Merlin, he probably would’ve let me kiss him.
The next few days are kind of a blur. The weekend flies by and then it’s just work, uni and sleep. That last one is a lie, I don’t sleep very well. I want to say it’s uni stress or its work or something, but I know… I know its Baz.
When Penny starts mumming me about the bags under my eyes and my slumped shoulders, I blurt out a line about how crazy my classes have been, but she just nods knowingly. I can’t keep anything from her.
“Si?” I hear Penny say a bit hesitantly. Penelope Bunce is not hesitant.
I look up at her, confused.
“Have you spoken to Baz recently? Have you been texting him?” I’m sure she doesn’t mean to sound like she’s accusing me of something, but I can’t help but feel like I’m being interrogated. I haven’t spoken to Baz since he showed up at my door on Friday night. Penny doesn’t know about that though; she’d freak out.
“No.” I don’t trust myself to say anymore.
“I just overheard Baz today. He was… you know what never mind, as long as you know what you’re doing. As long as you’re okay.” Penny’s waving her hands at me like she wants me to forget what she just said but there’s no magic in her words so its only bothering me.
“What, Penny? What did he say?” it comes off too eager. But I am! Eager, that is. What is that git saying about me?
 Tell all of your friends that I'm crazy and drive you mad
That I'm such a stalker, a watcher, a psychopath
 “He was just saying that you’ve been pestering him to get back together, that you drunk texted him on Friday or something of the sort. And then he… yeah.”
“Then he what?”
“It doesn’t matter Simon. You’re both still just angry. Basil doesn’t know what he’s saying.”
“And what is he saying? Apart from the fact that I’m basically stalking him. That dickhead needs to get over himself, it’s the other way around by the way. He showed up here! Drunk! On Friday!” I’m yelling now. Whatever, it’s better than crying. I wish I could cry right now.
 And tell 'em you hate me and dated me just for laughs
So, why do you call me and tell me you want me back?
You maniac
 “He said he doesn’t know why he ever dated you.”
“Oh.” And then I am crying. Penny is instantly holding me, patting my hair, kissing my temples, telling me he doesn’t mean it, but I just shrug her off and go to bed.
____________
Thursday 27/10
Pen [15:22]: you okay?
Pen [15:30]: Simon we live in the same flat and I’ve seen you like twice this week.
Pen [15:54]: can we have dinner together at least? Just us at the flat. No you know who talk I promise.
Read 16:03
____________
Thursday 27/10
Ags [16:15]: trust me I’m all for the privacy/alone time thing. But like??? Were here for u. just call me yeah?
Read 16:17
____________
I get a whole bunch of texts from everyone. Well Agatha and Penny and a few uni mates (that’s everyone), a bunch of angry messages from my manager because I took the week off and some emails from my professors about assigned work. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m doing or what I want. No, again, a lie. I’m doing nothing and I want Baz. But I guess now that we’re not dating, he has no reason to not be a prat again. So, really, I should have no reason to want him back. Except I do.
I want his black wavy hair to be the first thing I see in the morning again. I want to wake up to the sound of the kettle boiling and warmth beside me where he spent the night. I want to go for walks at 3 am because we both couldn’t sleep. I want cold lips smashing into my face after a stupid fight about throwing my stuff around his flat. I want him. Here. Now. That’s not what you need though, I can here Penny say it in head. Though I’m sure it is; I don’t think I’ve functioned normally since this happened.
____________
Saturday 29/10
Dickheadwhoregretsdatingme???? [21:43]: Snow I swear I wouldn’t contact you if it weren’t important, but this is and yeah sorry.
Read 21:43
____________
And then he calls.
“Simon?” I melt into my phone a little, I miss the sound of my name on his lips. He doesn’t sound drunk, but he does sound different. “I’m so sorry I just, it all happened so fast and now I’m calling you because I can’t call my parents or they’ll kill me and my friends, they’re bloody useless. Aleister Crowley, I’m so sorry.”
“Baz, what’s happened?” How am I the calm one? What in the world of mages is happening?
“I crashed my car.” He’s calmed down now.
“Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? Are you alone? Are you okay?” Suddenly any semblance of calm is gone and replaced with unmoderated anxiety. He knows I fucking love him. Merlin and Morgana, why would I hide it now.
 You just went too far
Wrecked your car, called me cryin' in the dark
Now you're breakin' my heart
 “I’m fine. I’m sorry I don’t know why I called.”
“You don’t sound fine.” And then because I have no self-control, “Where are you?” There’s a brief silence. Fine don’t tell me.
“I’m at the corner of Smith and Dundas.” He sounds ashamed.
“That’s at the top of my street.”
“Yeah.”
And, again with the no self-control, “I’m coming.” I hang up before he can argue with me.
I don’t get a chance to l look at myself. I know I’m wearing mismatched socks and the same joggers I’ve been wearing all week. I look down and realise I’m wearing Baz’s old t-shirt. How fitting. I’m throwing on some trainers and I can hear Penny asking where the hell I’m going so late. I don’t care.
It’s only a five-minute walk but even that is too long, so before I know it, I’m running to his car. It’s been backed out from the light post I assume he hit and parked a bit lazily by the pavement. Baz doesn’t do anything lazily, but then again Baz doesn’t get drunk and he doesn’t crash his car and he definitely doesn’t drive anywhere near here if he doesn’t have to.
As I get closer, I can feel my heart beating faster and faster, and its not from the running. His head is resting on the steering wheel and I can’t see his face. Fuck. What if he has a concussion? And then without thinking I’m opening the right car door and holding his face so close to mine. Crowley, his eyes are blood-shot, his face is streaked with tears and he’s just looking at me fangs popped and eyes wide. How could I ever let him go, I should’ve fought harder.
“Snow.” He finally croaks out and that’s when I realise, he’s been sobbing, he takes a deep breath and buries his head into my neck all while whispering sorry, I don’t know why I called, you don’t need to be here, but he makes no effort to remove himself from me, so I don’t leave. I wouldn’t anyway.
 So, I show up at your place right away
Wipe the tears off of your face
While you beg me to stay
 I detangle his hair as I feel the pool of tears forming on my shoulder. I pull him up to look into his eyes. Baz’s eyes, so grey, they’ve always been so beautiful. His cheekbones are pronounced and his flushed – he must’ve fed recently. That’s good.
“Are you okay?” I ask and it feels like it’s all I’ve been saying to him for weeks now.
“Been better.” He tries to smile but his eyes betray him, and he starts tearing up again. He brings a hand to my cheeks, “you’re here.” He seems to realise what he’s doing, how he’s holding me, how I’m holding him while were broken up, so he tries to pull his hand away quickly, but I stop him.
“Of course.”
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Text
so my thoughts on the first two episodes of s12 of Doctor Who
not that anyone cares anymore
- part one of Spyfall was so nice! like... I don’t want to say it feltlike proper DW, bc everyone has a different view of the show/wants different things etc., but for the first time since Chibnall had taken over I liked the pacing/story. I really was into this whole thing!!
- anD LOOK, YAZ HAS A PERSONALITY?!?! AND WAS IN CHARGE OF SOMETHING?!?! YEEEEEEEEEEES.
- and WHOA WAS THIS EPISODE BEAUTIFULLY SHOT OR?!?!
- and I didn’t care for the ~monsters~, but then again, with Chibnall, I never do? like... they’re so bland and pointless, but this time it didn’t stop me from being invested in the story
- I kind of spoiled myself about The Big Reveal aka The Master is back. and on the one hand I was like ‘the Master is back and he is a guy again, gREAT’. on the other hand: not a white guy! third: shit, Sacha Dhawan did such a good job. he was fucking unhinged and it was beautiful. where Simm was ridiculous, but not scary at all (still love him tho), Michelle was fucking crazy and scary AF, but there was also this kind of softness about her, but she’d not bat an eyelid while killing you? Sacha is fucking something else, he’s completely mad and scary. which as an acting choice is A+, but when it comes to writing...
- that’s where part two comes in and Really We Make The Master Wear A Nazi Uniform. which you know, he isn’t a good guy, but like... Really. it’s 2020 AD. like, I get it, but at the same time... we could do without it, I am sure. and yes, I know, The Doctor says ‘it’s low even for him’ and is like ‘bitch what u doing’, but... UGH, CHOICES. and let’s not  ‘BUT LET’S KILL HITLER DID THE SAME THING!!!!’, well, yeah, but also not at all? so idk man. with neonazis sprouting around the world... you know. 
- also, this whole ‘someone destroyed Gallifrey’, and then the Master being like ‘I DESTROYED IT!!!!! BUT IT’S OKAY, because they were WRONG and LYING TO US’. like bITCH...Timelords ain’t shit, but there were like billions of other people, who probably were okay and you killed them BECAUSE SOMEONE LIED TO YOU AND IT WAS DIFFICULT... once again, A Writing Choice.
- and in part two we were back to the whole gang being kind of... meh? like... why u even here. what are you good for
- also, was it rEALLY necessary to kill off Barton’s mother. what scene brought NOTHING to the story. NOTHING. what the fuCK.
- I didn’t give a hoot about Ada or Noor in the episode. it felt like it wouldn’t make a difference if they were there or not
- also isn’t erasing minds and memories without consent SEXY AS HELL!?!?!?!?! I AM SO GLAD WE GOT THAT BACK IN 2020 AD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 SO GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 jfc, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 
- also... why Chibnall thought it would be a good idea to have The Doctor kneel in front of the Master. I mean... power dynamics. okay, I get it. but at the same time... you have a female Doctor, DON’T MAKE HER KNEEL IN FRONT OF A GUY, NO MATTER WHO HE IS FOR FUCK’S SAKE. and I bet your ass that some people are already like ‘oh YES, THE MASTER IS A KINKY DADDY!!!!!!! YAS, CHOKE ME DADDY, I WILL KNEEL FOR YOU!!!!!!!!111′ yes, I am shaming you.
- and don’t get me started on this whole thing ‘YES, WE ASKED THOUSANDS OF TIMES WHERE THE DOCTOR COMES FROM AND WHO SHE IS’. like... bitch who are you kidding. it’s like Chibnall browsed twitter/tumblr/fandom blogs and tried to show us that ‘ha, see, you thought I didn’t think about that, but I did!!!’. well, next time freaking sHOW US.
- the ending was so anti-climatic. like... all this built up for what
- The Timeless Child arc... do I care, that’s the question. the answer is: I don’t know?
all in all: I didn’t hate it? I thought that part one was Really Proper Good. the pacing was to my liking, I wasn’t bored, the story felt effortless, the companions finally had something to do, there was a master surprise (hehe, get it?), the directing was amazing?! and I honestly had so much fun watching it. part two? well, not so much. there were so many things that fucking irked me there that I couldn’t just enjoy it as much as part one. 
is s12 better than s11? yes. I mean, at least I am not bored. do I have suddenly have fait in Chibnall? uhm... idk? we’ll see what he’s going to do next? I guess we’ll see next week, ay?
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shirtlesssammy · 5 years
Text
2x01: In My Time of Dying
Then:
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Sam and Dean Winchester: Monster hunters
Now:
We pick up right where we left off last season, only this time Netflix got the rights to the proper music. Bad Moon Rising, indeed. Sam, Dean, and John are all unconscious or dead in the now destroyed Impala. The possessed trucker jumps out to double check. Sam’s actually awake (aw, baby Sam Fucking Winchester emerges!) and threatens the demon with the Colt. The demon smokes out leaving Sam to call for his family while the horrified trucker looks on. 
Cut to Rescue 911. The Family Winchester is airlifted to a hospital. Dean wakes in the quietest hospital ever. He starts wandering around trying to find somebody only to find the world’s rudest reception station. It dawns on him that the woman can’t see him. He races back to his room, only to find himself with tubes everywhere and monitors beeping. Oh dear.
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Sam rushes in and Dean starts talking to him, but just like the receptionist, Sam can’t see or hear Dean. A doctor comes to tell Sam that John is awake. Sam wants to know about Dean though. He tells Sam they won’t know the full extent of Dean’s injuries until he wakes up --if he wakes up. Dr. Doom and Gloom doesn’t know Dean’s love/hate relationship with death. If he’s alive, he often wants to be dead and if he’s dead nothing is stopping him from coming back alive. 
Sam visits John and discusses Dean’s status. He’s as determined as Dean to save him. (Go, codependency, go!). John says that they’ll look into alternative medicines and then he asks for the Colt. 
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That doesn’t sit so well with Sam. But he tells him it’s in the truck of the Impala and Bobby’s on his way to tow it back to Sioux City. John tells Sam to get the Colt and to pick up some things for protection (Oh, how young Sam had NO CLUE what the ingredients were for.) Sam asks if John knows anything about what the demon meant when he said he had plans for him and children like him. John doesn’t know. 
Dean was watching the whole exchange through, and he ain’t buying it.
For Skeptical Son Science:
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Sam and Bobby meet by the Impala and Bobby, needlessly cruel, admits, “This just ain’t worth a tow.” DEAN’S SOUL IS ALWAYS WORTH REPAIRING! (Natasha: Preach!)
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Sam then gives Bobby the list of ingredients and tells Bobby they’re for protection from the demon. Bobby ain’t buying it. 
John visits Dean. Ghost Dean starts pleading with John to help. He hasn’t called anyone, hadn’t done a thing but sit there. “I’ve done everything you have ever asked me. Everything. I’ve given everything I’ve ever had. And you’re just gonna sit there and you’re gonna watch me die?” 
He hears a noise outside the room and checks it out. A flash of something rushes by and Dean heads to investigate. 
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He finds a woman choking on the floor. No one responds to her weak calls for help, and no one can hear him yell. (What kind of hospital is this, just letting a lady die on the floor like that?) 
Sam comes back and Dean keeps trying to talk to him, with no luck. John notices Sam’s mood. Sam tells John he knows what those ingredients are for --summoning a demon. John’s got a plan (Good lord, Sam is his father’s son.) Sam is GOING OFF on his dad, and I mean, in retrospect, oops (but you kind of deserve this for not telling Sam your plan). Dean gets so frustrated watching the exchange he knocks a glass of water off the table. And then lets the audience know that he TOTALLY watches chick-flicks (I know, I know, Swayze always gets a pass). He starts to glitch out and people rush past John’s room. Sam follows them to Dean’s room where he’s flatlined and they’re trying to bring him back. 
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Dean sees a reaper hovering over his body and tries grabbing it but is pushed away. It then rushes from the room and Dean gets a pulse again. Whew. He tells Sam that he’s going to get it before it gets him. 
Wandering through the hospital, he finds a woman yelling at others. “Can’t you see me?” etc. Her name is Tessa and she wants to know if she is dead. Dean takes her to her room. He tells her that they’re spirits but if they hold on, they don’t have to die. 
Meanwhile, Sam is telling John he felt like he sensed Dean and wonders if it’s possible. John says anything it possible.
Dean and Tessa wander the Hospital of Young Adult Nearly Dead Angst. 
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Actually, Tessa is handling this whole almost dead thing really well. HMMM. “It’s out of my control. It’s just fate.” Them's fightin’ words, Tessa. Dean doesn’t take kindly to “fate”. “That’s crap, you always have a choice.” 
Sam’s back in Dean’s room with his handy “Mystical Talking Board”.
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Dean feels like he’s at a slumber party, but dives right in to talk with Sam. Remarkably, Dean doesn’t take the opportunity to immediately spell out B-O-O-B-S. He takes control of the pointer to spell the word H-U-N-T.
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Through the board, he tells Sam that there’s a reaper after him. Sam knows that if it’s there naturally, they can’t defeat it. “You can’t kill death,” Dean says rather famously. LOL those were the days. 
Sam spins into Winchester denial mode because there’s always another way! He heads in to talk to John but that little chicken has flown the coop. 
Down in the boiler room (never go into the boiler room, kids!) John unloads a bag of supplies. He takes out a piece of chalk and begins to draw sigils on the floor. 
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Sam heads back into Dean’s room with John’s journal. Dean thanks Sam for fighting to save him (as opposed to his absent dad). Dean reads over Sam’s shoulder from the section on reapers, mutters “son of a bitch,” and then heads out on his own mission. 
Dean finds Tessa back in her hospital room, but this time it’s empty and sterile. He drops some interesting facts about reapers, like that they can alter perception. A reaper can appear in any form, which is why we see Tessa in the form of Neil Gaiman’s Death. 
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Tessa explains her subterfuge as the only way to get Dean to listen to her (instead of stabby stabby knifey knifey). She’s the spectral presence he’s been seeing all over the hospital, gently reaping souls. “Death is nothing to fear,” she tells him. “You’re living on borrowed time.” Once I finish digging the knife out of my own heart because I just sat around remembering the episode Faith, we cut to John.
John has finished his craft project and slices his hand with a blade while chanting. (I pity the custodial staff who’s going to have to come clean this mess up.) His ritual appears to fail when a custodian does show up and orders him to get out of the boiler room. John levels the Colt at the guy. “How stupid do you think I am?”
Well...stupid enough to lone wolf this demon summoning.
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Two other demons flank John. Yellow Eyes mocks John, pointing out that he only has one bullet left. John doesn’t care, though. He’s there to make a deal. 
Upstairs, Sam talks to Dean’s body, telling him that he’s hit a dead end in trying to save him. “I’ll keep trying as long as you keep fighting. You can’t leave me alone here with Dad. We’ll kill each other.” Sam begs him to stay. 
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Dean begs Tessa for an exception to the reaping rule. They’re still in the middle of fighting Yellow Eyes; he can’t leave his family now. Tessa tells him that the world keeps turning no matter who she reaps. The world will go on without Dean in it. (Stares directly at the camera.)
Dean refuses to leave and Tessa drops her final bomb. Dean can’t get back into his body. He’s really almost very much mostly dead.
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She gently explains that angry spirits are created by ordinary souls who try to stay behind and eventually go mad. If Dean stays, he’s gonna join their ranks. 
John offers Yellow Eyes the Colt and its last bullet if he’ll heal Dean. Yellow Eyes scoffs at John’s offer. He doesn’t think much of Dean or Sam. He then asks John if he knows about the other children. YEAH DUDE. But John definitely hasn’t told Sam or Dean about it. John’s all business. He demands to see that Dean is healed before he’ll hand over the gun. Yellow Eyes is intrigued, but he demands one further concession.
For Vulnerable Dean Science:
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Tessa tells Dean that it’s time to go, or time to stay. Whatever his choice, it’s decision time now. Dean turns to her, about to say…………..something. And the lights flicker. Black smoke floods in and possesses Tessa. She looks back at Dean with yellow eyes and smacks her hand on his forehead. 
In Dean’s hospital room, he wakes up and gags on his life support tubes. YIKES. 
Cut to later: the doctor reviews Dean’s miraculous recovery. “You’ve got some kind of angel watching over you.” (Listen, I know this is supposed to be ironic because har har a demon saved him, but…. DUDE Dean you’ve really got some kind of angel watching over you. Wink wink.) 
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Dean doesn’t remember a damn thing about when he was near death. He just has a bad feeling about…something.
John checks in with Dean, glad to see that he’s recovered. Sam grills him about taking off but John begs for them to not fight. It’s a mark of how little gentleness they see from their father that John begging quietly for peace makes Sam ask if he’s okay. (#JustSayin) 
John sends Sam on an errand to get a cup of coffee. Once Sam’s gone, he tells Dean about something that Dean did when he was young. 
When John returned from hunts, messed up and scarred, Dean would comfort him and tell him it was all okay. (I need a minute to cry right in your FACE.) John apologizes to Dean for putting so much responsibility on him at such a young age. Dean is being SEEN. John tells Dean that he’s proud of him. Dean double checks that it’s his father. I’ve drenched my pillow. 
John gives Dean one last mission: to watch out for Sammy. He leans forward and whispers into Dean’s ear and when he pulls away, Dean looks horrified.
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John leaves Dean’s room and walks up to Yellow Eyes. He sets down the gun. Says, “Okay.” 
Sam, walking back with a cup of coffee and finds his dad lying dead on the floor.
______________________________
Quotes: The High Cost of Living:
Screw you, doc, I’m waking up.
Dude, I full on Swayzed that mother.
You’re much prettier than the last reaper I met.
______________________________
Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 
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rhyaxxyn · 5 years
Text
WIP Intro: CROSSWATER
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You can argue that your home is the W O R S T, the most P E C U L I A R, the C R U E L E S T in the whole of A N D R A S T E, but I know the truth, and the truth is that C R O S S W A T E R is the worst place I’ve ever had the misfortune of living in... 
But it is H O M E.
⇒TITLE: Crosswater
⇒THEMES: Coming of age |  Power and corruption |  Prejudice | War | Self-Reliance | Oppression | Religion | Self Empowerment
⇒RATING: Teen and Up
⇒GENRE: High Fantasy
⇒SUB-GENRE: Dark Fantasy | Romance | Religion | Politics
⇒POV: Third person limited
⇒STATUS: Plotting/Outlining
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In the peculiar city of Crosswater strangeness is nothing unusual. But no one mentions the thieves at the edge of town, the quiet Captain of the Guard with a hoard of secrets, the Lord and his wife with ambitious affairs, and the too smart, too good singer. After all, it has always been ordinary to them. 
Then a woman arrives in the city with a wild power no one could’ve predicted. She brings with her soldiers sworn to her name and a sigil of the distant Hell witch empire, Darah. A proposal she hopes they will not ignore. Her name is Nemesis Lorelai Macaria, and she is the last princess of the remaining witches of Hell.
She will have to befriend the master thief with a silver tongue, the siren-like woman who fears nothing and no one, the Captain who will provoke her until she snaps, the rebellious Lady of Crosswater with a quick wit, and the orphan girl from a distant land if she is to succeed in her plan. But first, she must convince them to accept her as who she is. A witch--and a servant of Hell.
It should be easy enough.
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Nemesis Macaria: The hero. Crude, abrupt sense of humor. Broken childhood. Unable to empathize with many people. Usually very independent in her adventures. Seems like shes killed a lot of people but no one really knows. Talented in dark witch-craft and necromancy. Eighteen: too young for this but having fun anyway. Keeps her composure no matter what.
Cassius Verlander: The unlikely friend. Loud. Loves challenging authority. Only steals from the rich people of Crosswater because “fuck the bourgeoisie.” Mean but cannot kill anyone. A secret cinnamon roll. Angry. Greatest thief in the Andraste. Loves the black market. Knows the price of everything in your house and everything in your body.
Corvina Naida: An actual goddess. Really sweet and lets it show. Still doesn’t let herself get taken advantage of. That one friend everyone loves. Knows how to manipulate people when she wants to. Unbelievably talented. So much so that Nemesis is thinking that maybe she might just be an actual goddess. Gets ahead of herself. Too confident at times. Will love you unconditionally.
Soter Adrestia: Dick to prick to a genuinely nice guy. Very closed off. Thousands of secrets and not enough time to tell them all. Kills people but always feels guilty about. Likes insulting criminals and strangers who he doesn’t trust even though he’s probably the most untrustworthy person alive. You know the phrase skeletons in the closet? Yeah. He most likely has like fifty tucked away in his. Real ones too.
Orlaith Clearwater: Victim of whoever the fuck thought the patriarchy was a good idea. Hates her husband because she didn’t have a choice. Her life has always been trade agreements. Sick of this bullshittm. Definitely a huge lesbian. Sometimes has more affairs with women than her husband. Will do anything to destroy him. Is going to kill the next person who calls her exotic.
Eris Lada: Loyal as all hell. Would happily kill anyone for Nemesis and not feel an ounce of regret. Seems a lot older than they let on. Totally shocked by the way equality and respect isn’t common in other places. Like, wot? Secretly trying her best but failing. Will not ask for help. Everything she does is reverse psychology.
Apate Gianna: Quiet. Lowkey a huge bitch. Acts tough but really isn’t. Gives off a weird vibe. Orphaned when she was young. Grew up alone. Social queues? What are those? Has she looked at you lately? If so, she probably hates you.
Fervain Clearwater: NO REDEEMING QUALITIES. Probably the worst person alive. Misogynist, racist, homophobic, #godlover. Not even worthy of the title antagonist. Nemesis would have just killed him if not for this damn agreement. Redeeming quality? Killable.
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The story of Crosswater takes place in the kingdom of Andraste. It is split in two by the Lethe mountain range. Crosswater lies along the northern coast of Andraste’s western island where the forests are abundant and the temperatures are commonly frigid. Although it is small, it holds an abundance of power over the neighboring kingdoms of Tarasi, Elpys, and Isoldé. Although the western island is the weaker of the two it still holds much political prominence, especially in Crosswater where Fervain has been lord for more than two centuries.
In Crosswater, there are two rivers--one flowing north to south and the other flowing east to west. These rivers are believed to be a center of religious power which allows a greater connection between the citizens of Andraste and The One True. Many will frequently go on a pilgrimage to this location for enlightenment. 
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Humans: Within Andraste’s borders humans are the most common. The majority of them lack power and live to 75 on average. Though through rigorous studying beginning at a young age humans can hone an element. Those of which being ice, lightning, wind, earth, nature, mind, space, blood, water, and fire. It can take anywhere from ten to twenty-five years to master an element.
Witches: Witches are creatures belonging either to the Aether or Hell. Andraste and it’s neighboring kingdoms had outlawed witches of Hell after the events of the Holy War. Most witches of Hell were killed off in the drownings, though some do remain hidden in Andraste and outside its circle of power. Those witches of Hell reside in either Kenna or Dhara, of which Andraste has been at a stalemate with for the past six centuries. Witches of the Aether can live up to 2,000 years, and it is rumored that when they pass they are resurrected as angels. No one knows how long witches of Hell live for, due to the fact that they have always been hunted and prosecuted except in Kenna and Dhara where their secrets are well hidden, but many believe that when they do die they come back as demons.
Witches are born with abilities. Witches of hell are more prone to do unnatural magic, while Aether witches do natural magic in order to keep The One True’s order. Though, in cases of great strife, a witch may utilize an opposite power. Even if they are born with abilities witches can work to hone one single ability.
Angels: Rare. Sovereigns among the other species. Frequently in roles of great power. Although none have died natural deaths yet it is shown that they do age slowly and that they can be killed, making them slightly vulnerable. Angels possess the ability to contact The One True, manipulate light, and take possession of other beings, though some do have immunity to their mind control. 
Demons: Despite the fear many feel towards demons very few have met them, and most who did have lived to tell about it. They, unlike Angels, can maintain a deep connection with the Fallen One. Most demons possess the ability to use magic as well as manipulate darkness. Not only that, but they can take possession of beings as well with seemingly no limit to this power.
Dragons: Beings with the ability to shapeshift and manipulate flames, ice, clouds, or water. After many years of interbreeding, bloodlines became diluted, leading to pure bloodlines to quickly take power throughout the four kingdoms.
Nymphs: Guardians of different areas of nature. They serve the world--not Aether or Hell. Sought out in times of confusion because of their natural desire to search for balance.
Ghosts: Creatures that had once served witches during the Holy War. They have the ability to shapeshift into any animal form as well as into apparitions. When their service became unneeded they turned to work in an array of dangerous fields because of their power to shift through solid matter and remain invisible to. 
this wip is not something I planned to get so into but now that I’ve brainstormed all of this I may begin writing it while I’m editing TNO!!! I do plan on posting OC intros and more on Crosswater though probably not until I’ve finished outlining. Please ask me questions about this so I can keep brainstorming and developing my characters and the plot. 
Let me know if you would like to be tagged in Crosswater content from now on!
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