#yeah he’s clearly got other stuff on his mind but I am sad that he doesn’t even have his pets you know? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rmoonstoner · 9 months

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Poisoned Empanadas

***

18+

Warnings:

Nauseated feeling mention, dirty talk, making out, fondling, dry humping, fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, smut, biting scratching, overstimulation, voyeurism, masturbation, possiveness, emotional confusion, sexual confusion, sexual frustration, cream pie, angry and jealous boi, male masturbation, dubious consent?

***

Summary:

I think the warnings give it away significantly.

***

Chapter 7 - Empanadas de Cordero, Balearic Islands, Spain

This empanada has a yeast dough, made with eggs, lard/butter, flour, salt, olive oil, and lukewarm water. The filling of diced lamb and bacon,. You can put raw meat inside and bake it, but I prefer to roast the lamb in the oven first, or pan fry it with the bacon until crispy, then put it into the pastry, and bake that until golden and the dough is done. I like to brush a bit of the grease on top and sprinkle a bit of coarse sea salt on after, then bake.

***

You woke up in a dark room, your head on something soft, a nice smelling grey suit jacket? The room didn't appear to have any sort of windows, but there was enough light to clearly see it was a construction site, and that you were in an unfinished building. Tarps and ladders and equipment littered the floors, and yet it was eerily quiet. The only thing you could hear was your heart beat, and the faint sounds of the city that muffled from being a few floors underground.

"You sure did a number on yourself, mi estrella."

Your body went rigid as you heard that voice. You turned in the direction that it came from, seeing a man about Jake's height standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. One hand waved, and the jacket on the floor appeared in his hands, and tossed it over his shoulder, while the other was on the frame of the door. He had his sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscular forearms and that tattoo he had.

"J-Jake?" You managed to ask in a weak voice. He hummed and slowly walked over to you. He pulled out his phone and turned the flash light on so you could see him.

It took your breath away.

He was in that suit from your dreams. He looked so good and you were confused. Why was he dressed that way? Were his eyes glowing white?

"Si. The very same." He answered while grabbing you and bring you close.

"But you said you would be gone for a long time…" You almost whispered. His face softened up with a sad smile.

"I know. But I couldn't bear to be apart from you. I'm sure you got my messages. I deserve the lack of reply after how I left." He said in a murmur as he looked into your eyes.

"I was really going to leave you alone until tomorrow, but I happened to be in the area. I saw you, and… Well, I followed you. I saw when you got hurt. I saw it happen and I came rushing over when you went down. How's your head feeling?" Jake explained as he ran his fingers through your hair while he asked how you felt.

You closed your eyes and sighed. You missed his hands touching you like this, even though the voice in the back of your mind was telling you to yell at him, but you knew you wouldn't. Your happiness showed, because a bunch of smaller bubble like lights twinkled in the darkness of the room.

"I saw the messages. I was busy with superhero stuff." You mumbled back while closing your eyes. You felt dizzy and nauseous. The food you ate earlier was threatening to come back up.

"Right. Yeah…" Jake let out a deep exhale from his nose as he pinched the bridge of it.

"Look, I… I am really sorry…"

"Sorry? Sorry?!" You glared at him and spread your arms out. He just looked down at his lap, fidgeting with the snaps on his leather gloves.

"You're sorry. Right. I am sick of your shit, Lockley. I keep getting left behind. Like, look at you! Why are you wearing a bespoke suit?!" Your hands gestured to his clothing and he sighed again. You were shocked that his outfit matched the dream you had.

"Look, I… I should have told you what I really do at night."

"You're God damned right about that!"

"I deserve that. Well, erm… My boss is an Egyptian God."

"An Egyptian God?" Your glare softened and you blinked a few times. Jake nodded and pointed to his arm.

"This is his mark. It proves that I am in his service."

You made a face as you looked at his tattoo. You remembered asking Stephen about it, and he didn't say exactly what it was, but he was obviously suspicious about it. You knew he had lied to you about what it had said.

"What exactly does it say?"

"Uh, it s-says…" He nervously huffed while rubbing the back of his neck.

"It says; 'Rise and Live Again as My Fist of Vengeance. My Moon Knight. Property of Khonshu'." Jake's voice was flat as he translated the glyphs for you.

Your eyes narrowed and you squinted in the light that you produced. He looked like he was serious.

Very serious.

"You're not kidding, are you?" He shook his head and a mask slowly formed over his face.

You stared at his white eyes, the shoddy stitching over the one. You looked down his body, stopping to observe the fine, barely-there hieroglyphics that were printed on the expensive looking silk. You wondered what those said, as they covered the entire jacket, vest, tie, and pants that he wore.

"So you're… A knight of the moon?"

"Si. I am one of his knights. I personally go under the name of MidKnight."

"How many knights does Khonshu have?" When you asked that question, he frowned and looked away as he swallowed thickly. He fidgeted with his tie, and that's when you noticed gun holsters sticking out from under his arms on either side. He even had a couple knives on the back and sides of his belt.

"There are… There are three of us." He said softly as he looked back at you. You tilted your head.

"What are their hero names?"

"Mr. Knight. He looks like a white suited version of me. Then there is Moon Knight. He looks more… More like this-" As he spoke, his clothing changed to a darker suit. It now had a hooded cloak in white to match the white chest plate and bits of armor on his legs and arms. His mask became black, and only his eyes glowed in the void.

"- But his has a lot of wrappings and it's more traditional to the Egyptian culture."

"Wait. You have two suits?" You asked as your eyes looked over this one. This one was a lot more military in style. It was hard to imagine it covered in bandages.

"That's… Yeah. I get two suits. My fighting style is a combination of the other two, but a lot more brutal. I like having the tailored suit for certain missions, while this one has way more weapons." He chuckled as the suit changed back to the tailored one. The holsters all stayed in place.

"Wow. I see gun holsters and knives there. You hurt people?"

Jake slowly looked at what you were talking about. There were two handguns in each holster, and knives in each sheath.

"Si. I don't fuck around like the others do. I get the job done."

"Well you look like a new aged mobster."

"That's the look I was going for, mi estrella."

You both fell quiet as he shifted on his feet. As the seconds ticked by, he became even more fidgety. His gaze kept going to look out the doorway and down the hall.

"I like your costume. It looks beautiful and sexy on you. Muy caliente." Jake's voice had dropped a few octaves.

Your senses went off, not the Spider ones, but the sudden arousal that came on with the way he spoke to you. You could feel your body reacting to him the way it used to. Your nipples hardened as a shiver ran through your body. Even the way he was looking at you with his mask on his face and that suit on his body was turning you on. You could feel the slick forming between your legs, which caused you to shift uncomfortably.

***

Miguel had followed the man that had you all the way to an abandoned construction building. He was quiet as he slinked around after you, waiting for an opportunity to get you back without any more harm coming your way. He assumed that the kidnapper would be taking you to the upper levels, but he was surprised when the man went downstairs instead, and into an empty office-like room. It had cubicles, but nothing else. Bits of building supplies and garbage from the workers, but nothing really.

Miguel decided to go around and see if there was another entrance to that room. Maybe the hallway went all the way around it? He was stealthy as he ran down the hall and around the corner. He found another door, and luck was on his side, because the door wasn't even on the hinges in the frame yet. It was propped up against the wall beside it. It gave Miguel a bit of cover to look inside the room.

He saw a flash light and heard talking. He clearly heard you say 'J-Jake?' And his blood boiled. Miguel was careful to creep up as close as he could get, just a cubicle behind you and your captor.

The captor was apparently your ex-boyfriend. Miguel covertly peeked through a crack in the cubicle wall, eavesdropping as he controlled his breathing. He was floored to see the man in his dream was really your ex by the way he was dressed. Miguel listened to you to talk and he watched as Jake touched you.

Miguel wasn't happy to see that. He also wasn't happy to see your distress at being somewhere you didn't know, with your ex no less. Your mood shifted a few times as Jake explained that he was actually the Avatar for the Egyptian God, Khonshu.

When the talk about the weapons started to happen, Miguel's heart began to race. He didn't like guns or knives. His powers didn't help him much with those things. Sure, he was fast and dexterous, but he was still just learning how they worked.

Miguel didn't know this guy, or his attitude, except for what you had already told him. He could be trigger happy, and if he was a servant of a God, he probably had powers to go with it. Miguel cursed to himself. He didn't know much about the Gods of the past. Any of them, really. He only knew about a few, the ones he had purposely researched, like Thor and Loki.

"I like your costume. It looks beautiful and sexy on you. Muy caliente."

Jake's words brought Miguel out of his thoughts. While the man was right, you did look very hot, beautiful, and sexy, but he didn't have a right to just come in and shower you with flirtatious compliments like that. Not after what he did to you. He felt guilty that he hadn't warned you about him, earlier. Miguel wasn't even a hundred percent certain it was him. He just assumed the cabbie was. He fit the description that you had given him, despite not seeing his face. He had heard his voice and that nickname, and just knew it had to be Jake.

Miguel desperately hoped you would tell him you were fine and that you needed to go. He waited as he watched Jake kneel before you again. You stared at him, just like a deer caught in the headlights.

***

Jake was making you blush as he got down to your level and grinned. You gulped and scooted back a bit, only for him to grab your ankles and yank you right up flush against his body. You squeaked at the sudden action, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. He pushed his face into your neck, his mouth by your ear.

"Mi amor…" Jake groaned hotly. That mask of his faded away, allowing his mouth to press against your skin. You could feel his hot breath tingle your ear and you could smell liquor and weed all over him.

His hands glided up your legs and to your waist where he gripped your hips tightly. He grinned and pushed you hard against him as he bucked upwards. That drew an involuntary moan from you as fire filled your belly and you became dizzy once more. You could feel his cock through the layers of fabric. He was hard and stiff, hot and pulsing.

"J-Jake... I…" You tried to speak, but his mouth hit a particularly pleasurable spot, and you moaned loudly as you dug your nails into his shoulders.

"I missed you so much. I thought about you everyday that I was away. I know it's hard doing what we do, and you do it here, in this big and dangerous city. I should have told you what I did. It was wrong of me to shield you from that. You had every right to know, and every right to help me if you wished. I am so sorry…" His husky voice started to spill forth the romantic word vomit confessions. His hands had moved quite quickly, and he was far more impatient than in the dream.

You had forgotten how straight to the point he was.

Speaking of points, you could feel his clothed cock nudge at the thin fabric of your suit. The action made you shudder and sent your hips bucking against him. That drew a deep groan from deep within his chest. The sound was carnal, and it shot a bolt of electricity through your body. You ached for him. Every nerve in your body was set on fire, receiving every pleasure response and turning it to overdrive.

And just like that, you had forgotten about the break up. You forgot that you sold or gotten rid of everything he had given you. You forgot that you moved out of his house and into the Sanctum. You forgot about the plan you had explicitly discussed with the wizards and the Spiders.

Alas, when you looked at Jake's face, all you could see was Miguel's.

You could even smell Miguel's scent quite strongly. You weren't sure if that was because you had spent the night fighting crime with him, but it smelled like he was right here in the room with you and Jake.

Were you hallucinating?

That's when the odd nagging and persistent feeling that this was wrong started to rear its ugly head. You should be stopping this from happening.

You turned your face away from Jake, now looking at the cubicles for an escape route as you tried to calm yourself and your breathing. Jake took that as a sign to lean down and go back to your neck, but on the other side from where he started. You squirmed while making a face that read clearly as trying to ignore the pleasurable feelings. It wasn't helping you any that Miguel's scent had somehow gotten stronger and more pungent since you first noticed it. It made your pussy ache with the position you were in.

You were confused.

You were very horny.

You didn't know what to do.

You didn't know what you wanted.

You missed Jake so fucking much.

You didn't want your friends to be disappointed in you.

You didn't want Miguel to think you were weak.

Jake was being very convincing, touching you in all the right places as he ground himself against you. You whimpered and moaned, then tried to push him gently. You tried to turn over to crawl away, maybe tell him to stop, but every time you opened your mouth, Jake would kiss you with a heated passion, like he was dying of thirst and you were his oasis to drink his fill from.

He somehow finally got the hint you wanted to flip onto your hands and knees, but he misread the signs badly. His hands shot out to grab at your hips and he went back to dry humping you like you weren't just trying to escape.

"J-Jake…" You tried to say his name to get his attention, yet it came out as a breathy whisper as his hand dipped into the juncture between your thighs.

"Mierda, you're so wet. You've soaked through your suit." His words made you shudder as his thumb glided over your clit. Jake was wearing the widest grin as he bucked into you. You exhaled as he pressed his gloved fingers against your opening, pushing the fabric in a bit. You mewled for him while his fingers stroked your swollen slit. His other hand came around and down between your legs to grab at your thigh. His fingertips moved, and he let out a chuckle as he found a hidden zipper flap along your inner thigh. The simple touch sent even more jolts of pleasure to your aching core along with the way he was touching you with his other hand.

"Ayo, what's this, then..?" Jake leaned down to whisper in your ear as his thumb found the tiny pull tab and flicked it a few times.

"What's this for? Is this a pocket?"

"N-no… It's, a-ahhh, Jake… It's the zipper for w-when I n-n-need to go to the bathroommm…"

"Oh, my… That's perfect." He groaned and bit your ear lobe. You gasped, feeling his dexterous fingers grab and tug at the zipper. He stopped with his other hand and pulled the fabric away from your skin as he kept unzipping your suit from one thigh to the other.

"Jake, wait. I- ahhh…" Again you tried to speak, to say he needed to hold on so you could discuss things with him, things like boundaries, but he was faster than you.

His fingers had dived into your cunt so fast, you couldn't even finish your sentence and only a strangled moan came out. Obscenely wet sounding noises filled the room as Jake plunged two fingers into your dripping hole while his thumb went straight to your clit. He rubbed where ever he could reach, both inside and out, and somehow managed to find both spots that triggered you to lose your fucking mind.

A long and animalistic moan erupted from your lips as you saw stars. Your eyes had rolled back into your head as your chest fell to the ground, cheek pressed to the cold cement floor as Jake expertly fucked you with his fingers. The scents of the room made your head spin. Jake's and Miguel's, so fucking strong, yet you were only aware of Jake's presence. Drool started to leak from the corner of your mouth as you came and shook.

Images danced in your head of both Jake and Miguel. Your mind couldn't quite decide what it liked more, but you felt like it wasn't fair to Jake. He had no idea that you were picturing another man doing this to you while it happened with him.

Apparently all the noises you were making only fueled Jake's desire more. You could feel one of his hands leave your backside, followed by the unmistakable sound of a belt buckle jingling and a metal zipper being pulled.

"That's my little star. So fucking beautiful."

You should have been panicking, but your body responded by jutting your hips out, presenting your aching need to him as you keened for him to continue.

"Just look at how wet you are for me... All for me." Jake growled as he stared into the darkness of the room, a wicked smirk on his face as he licked his lips.

***

Miguel was awestruck. He couldn't peel his eyes away from the filthy scene that was unfolding before his very eyes. There you were, being man handled by your ex, and you weren't trying to stop him.

A part of him, specifically his hard and throbbing cock, forced him to stay silent as he continued to peep at you through the crack in the cubicle walls. He felt guilty watching you in such an intimate manner, without your knowledge or consent. He told himself he was watching to make sure you were safe and that you wouldn't get hurt, but he fucking near better. He sucked in a breath when you moaned for Jake and he bit his lower lip.

"Mierda, you're so wet. You've soaked through your suit."

Those words hit Miguel harder than they should have. His cock twitched at the mention of just how wet you were. He could smell it wafting off of you and he was starting to drown in it. Jealousy was welling up inside of his chest.

He didn't quite see the desperate look on your face that showed you wanted to get away. Miguel misread that expression as arousal, which quite frankly it was a confused arousal, but arousal all the same. Even when you tried to turn over and get away from Jake, Miguel saw that you were trying to make it easier for the man to have his way with you.

More jealousy and arousal pooled through him as you were tugged against Jake and he pushed himself against you in slow and hard thrusts.

He watched as the other man slid his fingers along your groin, pressing them in, stroking up and down as you moaned. Jake found the zipper and he asked what it was for. You told Jake they were for easy access to using a bathroom without having to disrobe the entire suit, not for this…

This debauchery that was happening.

But now that Miguel knew what those fancy little zippers were there for, he couldn't stop thinking about them. He couldn't stop thinking about how easily you were being seduced by a man that broke your heart with barely a thought to you, when he was there and could offer you all of his spare time, which was a lot of it now that he was a Multiversal refugee.

A small growl came from him as his hand slowly wrapped around his erection through his suit. He gave himself a heavy squeeze as he watched Jake probe at you and unzip your suit. He went slack jawed when he saw Jake grab at your hips and dive his fingers in.

Your reaction was down right delicious.

Just watching how you came undone, dropping to the floor and crying out. That sinful sound made his cock throb and ache. He was now at the point of pulling it from his suit and stroking it in time to the squelching noises that were echoing through the room. Miguel glanced down at his dick in his hand and he could see that it was weeping generously with precome, dripping to the floor and throbbing steadily at every noise you made.

Thoughts of having you in that position clouded his mind as he swept his thumb over the head of his cock. He groaned as he squeezed himself and tugged a bit faster and harder, his balls twitching. Miguel inhaled the smells, and it made him harder as he realized the strongest one was yours. Watching you squirm and shake was making him wish was there instead of Jake.

Movement caught Miguel's eye. He witnessed Jake go for his pants and undo them in a swift motion. The sound of the metal made Miguel's head spin. You were really going to just let this guy have his way with you?

As upset as the thought made him, he continued to watch in morbid fascination. He wanted to know what you looked like while getting railed.

"That's my little star. So fucking beautiful."

Miguel could hear that delicious little whimper that came from you. He saw how you responded to everything. How you were shaking and holding yourself, ready and waiting for Jake to put his cock inside of you.

And then he saw it.

He witnessed Jake pull himself out and slap your ass and pussy with it a few times, the wet noise of skin on skin, your moans, and of course, the feral growl Jake was giving off as he spoke to you.

"Just look at how wet you are for me…"

Miguel groaned at that, giving himself a good stroke as he cupped his balls and gave them a tug. He completely missed the sudden shocked expression on Jake's face that vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.

But he didn't miss the way Jake slowly turned his head in his direction, mid-sentence, and grinned wickedly, right at Miguel as Jake's eyes glowed that unnatural white.

Miguel froze and held his breath.

Jake had seen him.

He had to have.

There was absolutely no reason for him to look, otherwise. Miguel waited with baited breath, fully expecting Jake to stop and come at him, but instead, he kept speaking, not letting on to you that he knew someone else was there.

"... All for me."

Jake growled the words as he positioned himself at your waiting hole and slapped your ass with his gloved hand. The sound of it combined with your yowl of pleasure rang out and hit Miguel's ears, making him throb again.

His hand twitched as he witnessed Jake push into you. The way your mouth dropped open and how your back arched as you pushed back to get him deeper, made Miguel grip himself tighter. He could tell that Jake gave no fucks that someone was here, watching him dick you down.

Was he even aware of which one of your friends that Miguel was? Surely he had seen Miguel with you earlier…

Oh God.

He probably did see Miguel! He was with you all night, right up until you went down.

Jake was doing this on purpose.

He was still staring right at Miguel as he moved his hips slowly and deliberately. You kept squirming, panting as Jake ran his palm up your spine and over your suit. Miguel watched, fascinated as you keened and arched even more.

He loved how flexible you were.

"This pretty little pussy missed me that much, huh? Fuuuck. You're the best little cunt this body is ever gonna have."

Jake cooed to you gruffly. His eyes never left the direction where Miguel was.

"Do you know what you do to men like me? You drive them up the fucking wall, mi estrella."

He gave you an extra deep thrust as you panted and pushed back.

"You are so fucking sexy. So tight and hot. Mierda… "

He groaned the words as he snaked his fingers around your neck, giving it a squeeze, right before he pulled you up off of the floor and flush against his chest.

"I love this pussy, and I love you."

Jake said roughly. He started to pick up the pace while his hand slowly moved his fingers up to cup your chin. He turned you to face him and kissed you hungrily, his gaze not once leaving Miguel's.

Jake's hand went to your stomach, and he pressed down as he slammed into your gspot repeatedly. Your vision came back to you, and for a split second, when you looked over at the cubicles, you thought you could see Miguel's mask in the small space between the panels. Your pussy contracted when your eyes landed on one of his eyes, staring right back at you.

"M-mig-gueeel…"

A silent moan escaped your mouth. It was far too quiet for Jake to hear it, with him taking it as sexed out jibberish.

Yet Miguel heard it clear as day. He almost thought he had imagined it, but when Jake bit down into your neck, you wheezed his name again.

"Oh god… Mi-mig-Ahhhl."

In that moment, Miguel witnessed you crack again when an intense orgasm rippled through you. Your body shook, hands gripping Jake's hip and arm, your walls clamping tightly around Jake as you moaned loudly. Jake stilled for a moment while the spasms rocked through your body. You shook for a bit, then collapsed limply in Jake's arms and he held you close to him.

"That's it, hermosa. Te amo… Your walls are squeezing me so good. I could just about pop with the way you're digging your nails into my skin."

Jake leaned down and started to mouth at your neck as he pounded into you harder. You couldn't really see anymore as everything was blurred and full of dots. And there was Jake, bringing you right back to that peak so soon after jumping off. You didn't even fight it.

Miguel couldn't look away. He heard you say his name.

Not once, but twice!

He couldn't begin to describe how that made him feel. You were getting fucked and shown the time of your life, being ravaged by your ex, yet you called out for him.

Him!

The fucking idiot didn't even realize you had done it and just kept going. Miguel groaned, no longer caring that he had been seen, and that you had shown this moment of weakness. The point was, that you hadn't realized you saw him and you didn't know he was there.

And you called out his name, not Jake's!

He gripped himself tightly, stroking and pumping his fist while he watched your face contort and change rapidly. He closed his eyes, picturing himself with you, trying harder as if to make it real, just like in the dream.

The images of you with him made him feel like his life wasn't just a shit show. You made him feel like he belonged somewhere, like he didn't exactly wish to go home. Not anymore. Not only were you beautiful and strong in his eyes, you were smart and funny. You trusted him right away, regardless of the fact that he looked and sounded like Jake.

(Of whom by the way, Miguel would never trust with a ten foot pole with what he had found out about him, and his superhero persona.)

That trust had very quickly melted into infatuation. Maybe it was the slight obsessiveness of watching you and researching all about your Spider-sona. Maybe it was the fact that you were just simply nice to him and treated him like a person that mattered. Either way, he didn't like what Jake was doing. He didn't like the image of you with that man. He decided that Jake didn't deserve you right after meeting you, and seeing this scene play out made him angry that it wasn't him.

Miguel pictured you underneath him, in the same way Jake had you, and he felt his balls twist and pulse in his hand. Just the thought of waking up to your face every morning sent a shudder through his spine. Picturing that leading to morning sex and the loving words of affection that he'd murmur to you.

***

You were soaring so high on that feeling. Everything felt far too good. You hadn't been with anyone since the last time Jake graced your bed chambers, which was on the morning that he had left. Even that little tidbit didn't stop your happiness. You had Jake back now, and he said that he loved you!

More than once!

Maybe he would stay for a while. Maybe he would make things up to you. Maybe you could go back to the way things were, before he packed his bags and left…

***

Miguel was there.

He felt his orgasm coming and he panicked for a split second. He didn't have anything but his suit to catch the mess. In a quick act of thinking, he used his webbing to try and prevent that mess from occurring. His orgasm finally hit him hard and he shoved his fist into his mouth, biting down hard and breaking the skin as he filled the makeshift cloth he had made.

***

You inhaled sharply when Jake groaned loudly and he gave you one last hard and brutal thrust, before he came inside you. You gasped, feeling his spend spurt into you in thick gobs that quickly filled you to the brim and began to trickle out and down your thighs. As he shuddered and kept singing how much he loved you in his native tongue, he rutted and stirred your insides. He was trying to prod you as deep as he could while he emptied every last drop that he had.

Heavy breathing from both of you filled the room. Your heart beat thundered for what seemed like forever, before it slowed as you came down from your high.

Then that quickly trickled away into awareness.

What stopped your happiness and sheer joy, was the sudden image of Miguel's disappointed face appearing in your mind. How you expected him to scowl at you and scold you for what you had done, and how you let him, no, the entire team down for allowing this sleazy mutt to come crawling back into your life.

You realized what you had let happen, and you felt suddenly awful about it. Jake was panting and rubbing your sides as he kissed your neck where he left his mark. He whispered his apologies and held you tightly, rocking back and forth with you, with him still buried deeply inside of your still throbbing cunt.

You closed your eyes, listening to him mumble his thanks and affection to you. The feeling of him fucking into you desperately was both comforting and agonizing, and now that it was over, you sat there filled with regret. You felt the tears welling up behind your closed eyes and you held back the sob from coming out.

What the fuck were you supposed to do now?

***

Miguel was also in that predicament. He felt terrible for what just happened. He should have shown himself at the beginning and stopped it, but he didn't have the nerve to interfere when you hadn't been aware he was even there to begin with. He was too focused on watching the way you acted while being intimate, and he was not disappointed. He was disappointed it wasn't with him. He was disappointed that he had been a lecherous voyeur.

He looked down at the ruined webbing and made a face. It was a terrible idea, the webbing mixing with his come and creating a globby dripping ball. He saw his mistake. In his haste, he didn't make it tightly sealed. He quickly fixed that problem, by just covering the glob with more webs, until it no longer leaked. He smiled triumphantly and gave one last look at you, seeing your face.

He frowned.

You did not look happy.

You looked like you were going to cry.

***

"Galaxy-Spider!"

You suddenly heard your name being called. It sounded a lot like Gwen's voice. It was far away, like it was coming from the floor above you, her voice echoing down through the venting. You nudged yourself out of Jake's grip and stumbled sideways, hand going to brace yourself against the concrete wall. You huffed and looked down, frowning at the sight.

Your suit was wrinkled in all the wrong places. It had dirt and dust all over it. You were sure there was a tear or two from where you were hit in the head, and of course, when Jake had gripped it so hard. You could see the zipper was okay, and you prayed to the Gods it would zip back up.

"Where are ya, girl?!"

You heard Miles and he sounded closer than Gwen was. You panicked, because he was such a sweet young man, just barely of age. He didn't need to see you like this.

Looking further, you bit your lower lip when you saw the bruises from the night forming on your thighs. Some from patrol, but most of them from Jake. Your eyes flicked to your mound. It was a mess, come dripping down and streaking your legs. You inhaled sharply in an attempt to calm yourself, but all you could smell was spunk and sex.

"I know you're in here! I tracked your phone down!"

Peter yelled. His voice was coming down the hallway and around the corner.

Clean.

You needed to get clean enough to be presentable to the team. Clean enough so that no one would know what just happened. Maybe Jake would just go away after this, and you could pretend it never happened.

In a swift movement, you turned to look at Jake. He was still sitting, but now lazily leaning against the wall. He had one knee up, an elbow placed on it, while the other leg was outstretched on the floor. He had made absolutely no attempt to put his dick away or clean up, and instead, had gone for his cigarettes. He lit one and sighed, looking at you with a pleased grin. You didn't give him any sort of positive expression. You merely leaned down and plucked the pocket square out of his jacket, and began to clean yourself up.

Wordlessly, you did the best that you could to get rid of his evidence on you. You stared at the cloth for a moment and then looked at his face. He knew exactly what you were asking for. Another cloth, which he did not have.

"Use it more if ya have to. Heh." He laughed and shrugged, then waved his wrist as the fabric became clean again.

"I wasn't aware that you were a wizard." You replied as you again went back to cleaning, doing a much better job this time.

"I'm not. My suit is self cleaning. That's part of it." He replied and took a few more puffs of his smoke.

You could hear the voices of your teammates getting closer. It was sending more panic through you. It was even worse that you didn't hear Miguel's voice along with them. Did he run away and leave you to perish?

***

Miguel was moving away, retreating out the exit he came in. He knew the hallways went all the way around this room, so he doubled back, dropping his little webbed up package down a garbage disposal unit in the wall, then he went towards the opposite end of the building that Peter and the other Spiders were. He took a deep breath and steadied himself, checking himself in a pane of glass to see if he looked okay, then turned towards where he had just come from.

That's when he started to call out your name.

***

"I can use Khonshu's power to clean the suit. If I didn't, it would be red and dark brown all the time." Jake explained. As he spoke, you could hear the muffled sound of Miguel's voice calling out to you. You threw the pocket square on the floor next to Jake, then went about fixing your suit and doing it all back up again. As you did that, you saw that Jake grabbed the cloth and stuck it into his pocket, without cleaning it.

"Then why did you always come home filthy and stinky?" You asked, and again, heard Miguel shout out for you. He was much closer, maybe just down the hall.

"The suit is self-cleaning. It heals me and cleans itself on command. It doesn't bathe me." Jake's answer sounded almost sarcastic, but you could tell he was being truthful.

"Ah. I see. I wish I had a self-cleaning suit."

An uncomfortable silence permeated the room. He just kept puffing away slowly, not moving much as you heard footsteps and Miguel's voice getting closer.

"Put your dick back in your pants."

"My friends don't need to see that shit. And maybe put your mask on and get the fuck to your feet. They know what you look like, but they don't know that you're one of the knights of the moon." You snapped at him, and he scoffed while rolling his eyes.

Jake took one last long drag from his cigarette, then crushed it between his fingers, leaving the bits on the floor. He reluctantly did as you asked, tucking his cock back into his boxers, then standing up to do his belt and pants back up. Just as he did, Miguel got to the room, calling out one last time.

"I'm in here!" You called back with a hoarse voice, then mouthed at Jake to put his mask back on. He did that as well, and didn't say a word as Miguel came strolling into the room and stopping at the doorway.

"Ah, there you are. Are you alright?" He asked as you fidgeted with your hood. You were trying to hide a tear by your neck where Jake had gnawed through the fabric. Miguel's eyes darted to Jake's and he frowned behind his mask. Jake didn't speak, and he crossed his arms and stayed against the wall.

"Y-yeah. A little shaken. MidKnight here helped me out." You motioned to Jake with both hands. They were slightly shaking, as was the rest of you.

Miguel reached out and grabbed your shoulder gently, then tugged you towards him. It was then that your friends arrived through a third side entrance in the room. They watched as Miguel made a show of inspecting your head and when he was finished, he gave a grunt of approval.

"Okay. He's done his job, then. I'll take you from here." Miguel's tone was firm, like he wouldn't allow any sort of protest. Jake just shrugged.

"Fine. Whatever. I'll see ya around, Galaxy-Spider." Jake replied as he picked up his jacket and put it on. He turned away and left, not a sound coming from him as he waved one hand up in the air and sauntered away.

Miguel felt your entire body relax the moment Jake was out of sight. You slumped against him and yawned as you rubbed your eyes. The others started to rapidly ask if you were okay, and what had happened. You barely heard them as you buried your face into his shoulder, trying to shrink away. His heart panged for you, realizing that you didn't exactly give Jake any sort of consent. Jake just took what he wanted from you, with barely any thought of your mental and emotional well being. Miguel could tell you were done for the time being.

You needed rest.

Miguel didn't have the heart to tell you he watched what happened. Instead, he hoisted you up into his arms and turned away from the group.

"She had a nasty blow to the head. She needs to see the doctor and rest." While it was true that you took a hit to the cranium, he knew you were fine. At least physically, anyways. He was hoping you might have the courage to tell Stephen what happened. He felt that it wasn't his place to say anything just yet. He would take you home, talk to the doctor, then stay with you until you awoke.

***

Series Masterlist

***

Notes:

I made my self so god damned fucking horny writing this chapter and I can't even bang my husband, because of his hip surgery! Please enjoy this and comment! Comments fuel future writings.

This Jake is very proficient with moulding and shaping the suit to his will. I really enjoy him being able to have Steven's suit in a dark grey and shades of black, or the one we see in the comics.

***

Special thanks to:

Beta readers/Ideas:

@einno-arko @theaussiedragon

Proof reader:

@iceclaw101

***

Tags:

@theaussiedragon @autismsupermusicalassassin @readingfan @missdragon-1 @marvelescvpe @lunar-ghoulie @cicithemess2000 @animesnowstorm @mahbeanz @dafuqelaine @bby-lupin @paranoiac-666 @konniebon @cl0v3r-s0up @seraphine-so-pretty @jupitersmoon167 @butterflypillows @ivystoryweaver @mintellaine @bxdbxtxh15 @badbishsblog @cleothegoldfish @xxmadamjinxx @bitchyexpertprincess @sakurayuki8655-blog @jklkverr @jkthinkstoomuch @oscarissac2099 @neteyamsluvts

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lolamarlowe65 · 1 year

Text

𝓘𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 //James Hetfield

“The house next door was just sold, i hope the new neighbour will be nice.”

part eight of ? part seven

disclaimers: smut, age gap (modern day james), slow burn, cursing, smoking, drinking, kissing, mentions of a size kink, mentions of death, big girls stuff nsfw

Wattpad link

࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐

Chapter 8 - Unexpected turn

I didn't sleep much. Just enough to get me through the day. My mind was occupied with James's picture. During the night I grabbed my phone a few times just to look at it. I am the only one in the world who has this picture. It feels like a part of him; a very public character; is only for me and me only. I turned around in my bed thinking about what could have been his reaction to my picture. I thought that what I sent was too much for a slight moment but given the lingering lust we have for each other, I doubt that. He makes me so alive and I won't regret at least trying. I think so much and feel so much and nothing has even happened between us. I can't help but imagine being with him, at his side, not only for lust but also for him.

I'm trying my best to look alive at work. Pamela is in a bad mood. She actually entered the pharmacy and threw some papers on the floor screaming "motherfucker". She never tells me anything about her personal life and considering her pissy mood I won't dare ask.

The day is slow, it's like it will never end! The store is closed because we had inventory to do, then we've got deliveries and now we're cleaning and stocking back the shelves. I feel like I am dragged into the hell of one of Pamela's manic episodes. But frankly, it occupies my mind.

"- Hey Ann, can you put the TV on?! Like a music channel or something?!" Pamela asks me.

"- Yeah for sure!" i answer.

There's a TV on one of the shelves behind the counter, it's mostly used for commercials and stuff. Those give you headaches all the time and that's why I hate this TV. Except on inventory day, we put it on for music. It goes from shitty music videos to the old music I am so fond of up to interviews and lives. Right now there's this loud guy who's talking about some new exclusive interview with Metallica coming up next. Wait? Metallica?! I turn the sound up to be able to hear clearly. This must be the interview James was in San Francisco for.

"- Hey guys how are y'all doing?" the journalist asks.

Oh god, it is. I can see James clearly, he is the same. He doesn't put up a character or anything. I mean to me he is already very aloof and strong minded so I guess you don't need to change a thing when you're the frontman of a metal band. The fact is, his sweet smile and good heart doesn't disappear either. He mixes them both so well and stays himself. His voice is calm and his words are well chosen, it reminds me of how much I love talking to him. It makes me so happy. I hope I will see him lost in his music one day. Seeing him play must say so many more things.

I recognise Kirk next to him, he looks and sounds the same as when I met him. And the two other guys must be Lars and Robert. Who is who tho? Who is the one that would look the most like an hyperactive drummer boy? I could check but I'll let it go so I can discover it when time comes. If it ever comes. James looks so busy. They are passionately talking about their new upcoming album and their tour next year. I don't know if I will see him as much as I do today and this thought makes me sad. All the people I have an attachment to all go away at some point. I shouldn't think about it. I don't even know what I exactly feel about James. I shake my head around trying to get back to my work and get those thoughts out of my head.

"- So last but not least. James this question might be too personal but we know things changed around in your personal life. We'd love to know how things are going?" the reporter asked James.

I turn my head around. What a shitty question. "Personal life". It means what it says for Christ's sake! Still, I'd love to hear the answer. Just morbid curiosity. From what Stacy told me, I finally remember he got a divorce not long ago. I don't why but this information came back to mind now. Then he moved out here but we never talked about it and as much as I'd love to know about it in a more intimate setting and not through a very public interview I can't stop but listening to the answer. He is very secretive about it so I can't stop thinking he doesn't know what he feels about all that. He has this whole life build for himself, what could he possibly find interesting about a young chick like me? I know he's not doing all that just for my ass, but then, why?

"- Well man, things were complicated at first but I think I'm good now. Let's say "things" took an unexpected turn." James smiles and laughs slightly.

"- Oh! Interesting and are we going to know about this "unexpected turn" soon?" the reporter asks back.

"- That I can't tell you, but I sure hope." James smiles.

I think I turned red. I cannot be what he is talking about. Nah I can't. I'm not the centre of the world, even more of his. I play with his necklace around my neck trying to get all this out of my head.

"- Haha anyway thank you guys for accepting this interview, I know y'all are pretty busy those times." the journalist says before turning his head to look at the camera. "Stay tuned on this channel tomorrow night. Metallica is playing live for charity and we are here to retransmit it! See y'all tomorrow!"

They're playing tomorrow night? I think I will watch the live. I just want to see how he looks while playing, how they look as a band. I need to see this.

"- Hey Ann, the fuck you doing?" i hear Pam coldly saying.

"- Yeah sorry Pam, coming right up." i answer.

She is right on this point, I just lost myself in my thoughts and the interview for a good amount of time. Let's go back to work. Time is so slow I don't know when I'll get out of here. I better work without a thought in my head to make it go faster.

I finally ended my shift and went to the hospital right away. Early in the morning the hospital called and asked my grandmother to come right away. Apparently, something in her analysis was not clear, they needed her to retake it. Their tone was pressed and I just hope it's nothing bad. Her health is declining those days and I was happy to know nothing was bad in her analysis but apparently my rest was short.

As I arrive I immediately go to my grandmother. They set her up in a room. Just for simple analysis? This definitely doesn't look good.

"- Are you okay grandma?" i ask, voice trembling.

I go and hug her tightly. I need her. I don't want anything bad happening to her. I just wouldn't be able to take it.

"- I am okay sweetheart. I promise." she says sweetly, caressing my head.

"- Don't make me a false promise. You know I couldn't take it." i answer, almost crying.

I can feel that something isn't right. I can feel my grandmother's anxiety through her body. I know she's trying to make me feel better. I know she's telling me to calm myself. But I can't. She's all I have left.

A doctor walks in the room and asks me to talk privately.

"- How is she doing?" i ask.

"- Well, I will be honest with you. Her arthritis is getting worse. There is a high chance she will not be able to walk anymore." he says unbothered, i almost started crying. "We want to keep her here on observation so we can figure out if we can operate on her and to make sure it doesn't spread to her other members." he continues.

"- Will she ever go home?" i ask.

"- Not constantly. It will be better for her if she stays here at the hospital for the time being. I gather some of her friends are also here, we will make sure she has contacts with them and that you can come see her everyday. But it will be better if she stays here."

"- You don't look very optimistic." i say.

"- I'm sorry miss." he answers, not sorry.

The doctor goes away after handing me the papers I need to sign for her admission. I won't do anything without asking my grandmother. My mom asked to get her out of the hospital in her last weeks. She knew she wouldn't make it and chose to stay by our side in the house. Without her asking me, I wouldn't have done anything. My grandma deserves this choice. The doctor was not very optimistic. She is probably going to have her last birthday this year. I am defeated. I want to stay optimistic, to say to myself she is gonna be okay and everything is gonna come back to normal, but I know it's not the case. Preparing myself for this eventuality actually helps me with dealing with it all. I go back to her room and sit next to her on her bed.

"- The doctor wants you to stay here until then." i say, crushed, putting my head on her shoulder.

"- It's okay sweetheart. I will stay here." she answers.

I let out a sob. Today should have been a good day. But it's not. My grandmother tries her best to move around to cup my face with her hands.

"- Ann. My beautiful Ann." she says, putting strands of my hair behind my ear. "You are a smart young woman. I know you understood this visit at the hospital will probably be my last. It's been a few months my health is not doing great and your mother knew it too. Your mother knew I would leave you not long after she did but I promise you sweetheart." her voice trembled. "I promise we will always be with you. Forever and ever. I know you will figure your life out. I know you will find someone who will love you as much as your mother and I do. It's gonna be hard, but I don't want to see my beautiful baby girl losing herself in false hope." she wipes a tear off my face. "I love you. I love you so much. Be happy." she says before finaling. "In the meantime, don't stay here all the time. Come see me everyday, but once you get out, live your life. I want to see you happy during my last moments."

I'm crying so much. I can't accept the truth of this. I just can't.

"- Grandma... I don't want to lose you. I love you, stay with me." i sob.

She puts her forehead against mine and we cry together. Even if she cries like me, she keeps on her sweet smile, this smile that would always reassure me. That would always cheer me up and make me go on. It still does now. Even if it's hard. I will respect her wishes. I will try to live out of here. I will come see her and change her mind with my stories for as long as she stays here. I don't know what will happen to me after she's gone. But I will try it. Just for my mom and grandma.

"- My mind is good but my body fails me. I will always exist, I will always be with you. Like your mom is in this beautiful heart of yours." my grandmother reassures me.

"- Did you sign the papers miss?" the doctor comes into the room to say.

"- Don't you see my granddaughter and I are having a discussion? What do you think your mother would think of this young man?!" my grandma interrupts him. "She will give them to you, now leave her be." she adds.

Her response made me laugh. Her mind is still there and in good health. But her body isn't. Like my mom. Knowing that she will keep her character intact until her last breath makes me feel more at peace with all this.

"- Sorry ma'am." the doctor says embarrassed before walking out.

"- Don't let them piss you off. Silly little doctors who think they're better than you because they got a diploma." she rolls her eyes. "Know what you want and get it." she says.

I'm still crying. My head's a mess but I gather myself to sign those papers. Before I get out to hand the papers my grandma calls for me.

"- Darling, get home. Have yourself a peaceful afternoon. Get me my stuff tomorrow will ya? The nurses are very nice, they will take care of me." my grandmother asks me.

"- Are you sure?" i answer.

"- Yes my love. Come here so I can give you a kiss."

I walk toward my grandmother. She gives me a kiss on my forehead and hugs me tightly. Before she lets me out she whispers in my ear.

"- Would you get Stacy, Pamela and James to come here tomorrow sweetheart? I want to give them a word." she asks.

Stacy and Pamela I get but James? What does she want to tell him? It makes James even more important to me knowing that my grandmother thinks so highly of him. Even if I don't know how to ask James I will try. I don't know how he is gonna react.

"- Okay. I will. I can't promise anything for James. He is busy. I'll have to catch him before then."

"- I am sure you will, love." she smiles, hinting something.

She let go of me and I got out of the room holding tears in the corner of my eyes. Now, each time I will get out of this room I will not be able to know if this is the last time I see her. But I need to keep my head high and do what she asked me. Before heading out, I give back the papers to the doctor. I know James is coming back soon, I told him I would see him today but I don't know if I actually will. Deep within myself, I hope I will. I want him to tell me everything's okay. I want to open this pain of mine to him.

When I get home I lay down on the couch. I don't want to cry so I look at the ceiling with empty eyes while smoking a cigarette. This house is empty without her. I think about my future. My grandmother has lived a full life. She went for her passion, she travelled all around the world and met my grandpa, she had a kid, which she always wanted to have but she never put her work and passion aside. Do I want to travel? How to live off of your passion? Do I want kids? I don't know. My mom would tell me to stop thinking so much, she would say that I will see what will happen when it will happen. She is right. But I'm sure of only one thing right now: I will keep on living to make these two women who made me who I am proud. I just hate the fact that I am so alone in this. Putting my hand on my collar bone to touch the necklace I open my messages, hoping to see one of James, but nothing. He has seen my message. It's written he saw it. I think I'm gonna break down.

I hear a knock on the door and go up slowly to open it.

"- Coming!" i open the door.

"- Hey Anna." James expresses calmly.

"- Ja... James." i say, surprised.

"- Are you okay?" he asks me right away.

I didn't even answer him. I just threw myself into his arms. I hold him tightly by the chest. Maybe it's too much and he will reject me but I didn't think about it, I just needed to do it. James doesn't move, he doesn't do anything. I shouldn't have done that. I try to go back and stop hugging him but James holds me back immediately into his arms. One of his hands is holding tightly by the waist and the other is in the back of my head. My head rests against his chest and I can hear his heart ringing. It goes fast but peacefully. I'm pretty sure his music is not as beautiful as this sound. I can feel him trying to move around. He doesn't let me go but he makes me understand to take a step back so he can close the door behind him. That's better. It's more intimate and makes me feel more at ease. He doesn't say anything and just holds me without forcing me to talk.

"- My grandma. She has to stay in the hospital. She probably doesn't have long anymore." i say, very softly.

"- Oh Anna." James sight. "Everything's gonna be okay." he holds me tighter.

James lets me out of his arms just to hold me lightly. Looking at me, he studies me, trying to get how I react.

"- You are the most courageous woman I know. And I'm sure your grandmother is the first to think it. I know you will be okay. I know she will be okay. Wherever she goes. It's gonna be hard. I know. But your mind is strong and you will keep her in your heart, always."

"- Thank you James." i say, sweetly.

"- Hey." he says, putting his hand on my cheek. "I know that saying those words won't heal you or make anything better but I'm saying them to you to tell you I'm here." he smiles. "I'm here for you. If you want it and whenever you need it."

I look up to him and my eyes dive into his. How happy I am to have him around. Somehow, it makes my grief more peaceful. Because I shared it with him. Because he is here for me. I had very few people around me when my mom died. Apart from my grandmother, Stacy and Pamela. They all helped me with their presence. Having them around made me more tranquil but having James around I feel protected. I didn't know I needed to feel protected until today, but I do. I want to feel like I have a shield that's not made with my survival instinct. A shield that's made of comfort and hope and mostly a strong shield that you wouldn't dare to try and break. James is that. He is comforting, he gives me hope and he's strong enough to kick anybody's ass. I'm pretty sure, at the very least, his mind is strong, and so is he. And as long as he allows me around him, I will see him as such. James isn't only that for me, well, not the only thing I want him to be but that's still too complicated to say. I love the way he is here for me. I don't know if I'm courageous but I will try.

"- Let me get you something to drink, Anna." he says, looking for the kitchen.

I draw a mellow smile, letting out a small laugh.

"- Here James." i show, walking toward it.

As we walk into the kitchen I go and get two glasses out of the cupboard. When I try to reach for the bottle in the fridge James stops me.

"- Let me do it. Sit down and ease your mind." he presses.

I nod and sit down at the table. How sweet.

"- My grandmother... she wants to see you tomorrow." i remember.

"- I'll be there." he answers immediately. "She will kick my ass if I don't come so I'll be there." he then jokes.

I love the way he jokes around to make me cheer up. And it works like a charm because it does make me laugh. She will kick his ass tho. Tomorrow night, James is supposed to play live and I know it. Now, I don't know too much about the organisation of a metal concert but I'm pretty sure his day will be quite busy. Yet he accepted right away without any condition. While I'm getting lost in my thoughts James pours me a drink and gives me the glass.

"- Thank you." i smile.

James leans himself against the kitchen counter in front of me and locks his gaze on me. The kitchen is not very big, having him here, like this, makes it feel even more tiny. Not in an anxious way at all, in a tensful way. It's like the walls are shrinking because the room wants us close. I'd love to nestle myself into his arms and stay here for hours. Feeling his heartbeat, reminding me that I have to keep on and make mine beat as peacefully as his. But I can't. I won't dare trying. The quick hug I had from him minutes ago was so intense I can barely hold on. He made me feel better just with his arms, he made me forget for a brief amount of time about this day. Made me forget about her leaving me. James observes me, probably wondering what I am blabbering about in my head.

"- I saw the interview." i interrupt my own head saying.

"- Did you?" he smiles.

"- The one you did yesterday in San Francisco. It was on this morning at the pharmacy."

"- And what did you think about it?" he answers, keeping on his smile.

"- Well, I still don't get who's Lars and who's Robert but I recognised Kirk. See, I'm becoming a fan. I'm getting there." i silently laugh.

"- You'd be the best fan we've ever had." he smirks. "But I'm already jealous of Kirk so retard the moment you get to know the two others." he jests.

His dumb joke let out of me an honest laugh. I'm also a hundred percent sure I'm burning red. I know he isn't actually jealous, and that would be weird if he was, trust me, but hinting a certain attachment to me by making these kinds of jokes makes me feel so confused.

"- I loved the way you talked. I love the way you don't change from the James I know. Even if I don't know you much yet. You are so sure of yourself and you show it by using a serene tone, never by bragging or thinking you are better than the ones around you. I love that about you." i say, calmly, James keeping his gaze locked on me. "I don't know much about your music but you sounded so passionate. I'm also glad you said things we're doing okay for you. Truly." i conclude.

I think again about "the unexpected turn" he talked about earlier. I'd loved to know what he was precisely talking about. My heart tells me I am, but my reason tells me that I'm giving myself delusions. But yet, there's the necklace, the photo I have of him, all of this that I can't forget about.

James puts his glass aside next to him and straightens up from the counter. I see him slowly walk towards me. This must be about four steps but it feels like twenty. Sitting on my chair, he approaches me and puts two of his fingers under my chin.

His hand.

He lifts my head up so I can look at him. James is already so tall, looking at him from this perspective makes me feel so weak. I don't have a size kink. I swear. And I'm not even "petite"! He is just so much. So much of him. So much that I want. My hand immediately goes to his necklace around my neck. Our eyes connecting on each other's gaze.

"- You know that you are my "unexpected turn"? Right?" James states.

I take a heavy breath. I think my heart skipped a beat. James looks entranced by me. His eyes glimmer a different light. Something changed in the air. Something that feels like the whiff of his breath in my neck I felt the other day. My heart was right. He was talking about me. He sees me in his future. When he said he would be here for me he knew he wanted my heart. His determination is obvious. I can see it in his eyes. But I can see he is scared. I can see he doesn't know how I will react. I get to see a side of him that I would have never guessed about the first time I saw him. He is so beautiful.

So fucking beautiful.

Suddenly my head moves up slightly, desperately trying to reach him. James's head does move toward mine too and I feel his hand slide slowly in the back of my head, in between my hair, helping me to stand up, pulling me toward him. In between paths, him and I trying to reach each other our lips connect. He kisses my lips passionately, holding onto me like he is afraid I'd disappear. But I'm not going anywhere, I have never felt something like this. Lust, romance, whatever. Time stopped at the moment we connected. My hand goes in the back of his neck, trying to reassure him. Telling him, "I'm not going anywhere." His body straightens up and moves me so I can stand up. At this moment, our lips disconnect so we can take a breath, but those seconds must have felt like hours because we kissed again as soon as we took one breath like we are starving without each other. James pushes me against the counter behind me and I push his head even closer to me with my hand in the back of his head as a way of telling him to deepen the kiss. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I let his tongue dance with mine. Grabbing my waist he pushes me back even further and I hear him grunt before he sits me down on the counter. One of his hands stays on my waist and the other goes in the back of my neck.

This is the best thing I've ever felt. I wish time would stop and we could stay like this forever.

"- Last night." James says, in between kisses and out of breath. "I thought I was going crazy when I saw your picture." he kisses me deeply. "I understood. I knew I had to come to you. All the reasons I am so entranced by you I could see in this picture. I had to see you." he kisses me again. "I had to tell you. I wouldn't even have dared to think about kissing you but here I am."

"- James..." i whisper.

"- Here I was with my silly picture, thinking I would make you smile, thinking I could make your eyes bliss, before you sent me this and made all my effort go to waste." he pauses and smiles. "You are so talented and so goddamn beautiful." he adds, our eyes locked on each other's.

My mouth opens slightly to express how bewildered I am. "You are so talented and so goddamn beautiful." Nobody has ever told me that. Never. Even more with such passion and honesty. I am speechless. I want him. Everything. I don't even wait before throwing myself in his arms again, kissing and hugging him, giving him the opportunity of giving me a bear hug, that he takes instantly. Such a sudden act. An act that I wanted to do for longer than you can think. Just feeling his lips on mine is better than anything I have done thinking about him.

"- James... I... You..." i try to gather my words.

"- Shhh... It's all about you right now." James answer.

I don't know how to tell him everything. Everything he makes me feel. Everything I want him to do to me and everything I want him to be. He understands me so well and his answers make me even weaker than I already am. I smile and he kisses me again, my hands starting to play with the end of his shirt. I need him so much. I can hear him grunt as he slowly slides his tattooed hand under mine, grabbing my waist roughly, playing with my skin.

"- The neck-" i say, interrupted by the phone in my house that starts to ring. fuck it. "Fuck it..." i whisper.

James stopped kissing me as the phone started to chime but I take his head back to crash him back onto my lips. His hand is still playing with this little parcel of my skin, initiating an indescribable fire into me. He's my fuel, my fire, my desire.

The phone stops to ring but bips, letting the person on the other side of the line leave a message.

"- Hey Ann... It's Stacy... I know you've had a shitty day but I really need you there." i can hear her hesitate. "Well... something happened. I tried your phone but as always, you leave it on silent. If you hear this, just know I left my door unlocked, see you soon!" Stacy concludes.

Her tone is sad and struggling and I feel guilty not hearing my phone ringing. If she had to call on the house phone then she was really desperate. I can feel James's hand let go of my waist to put a messy strand of my hair behind my ear.

"- Go." James says. "She needs you."

"- Are you sure?" i ask.

"- What do you think? Your friend needs you. I don't even have a say in this." he smiles, kissing my lips quickly.

James is such a sweetheart. I don't want this moment to end. But my best friend needs me and I will be here for her. Smiling, I can see him trying to gather his words.

"- Listen Anna. I want to do things right. I want you, but I don't want you to think I just want to play with you." he suspends, studying my expressions. "Let me take you on a date. One date."

"- Yes James. Show me everything about you. Take me anywhere." i answer, my arms wrapped around his neck.

"- Then come to my gig tomorrow night, I want you to see me play. Then the rest of the evening is for you, all for you." he pauses. "I will never accept you not having what you deserve." he concludes, one arm around my waist, one hand playing with my hair. "You deserve a date, you deserve something that's done right."

I nod. Delighted by this news. My whole life is changing and at least I'm glad James is a part of my new world. I want to see him play, I want to have a nice evening with him. I want to know him more deeply. I love the way he talks to me, I can't believe he thinks so highly of me, I can't believe anybody would ever treat me as good as he does in my life. Just for that, I don't wanna let it go. I was afraid my age would be a problem for him, I was afraid it would just be me. But he takes it seriously. And if I didn't have enough proof I can just look at the fire in his eyes, I can just feel his heartbeat. His body and mind work together to show me how honest he is. My eyes glimmering, happy the universe sent him to me in this weird period of my life. "Thank you mom" I say to myself chuckling.

"- Let me drive you at Stacy's." James interrupts, still playing with my hair.

I nod, I don't feel like driving right now. As I'll probably stay over at Stacy's tonight and go to the hospital with her tomorrow, using my car is useless anyway. Having more time with James isn't. Going down the counter I follow James to his car.

The ride is peaceful because I spend it looking at his expressions while he drives and I give him the instructions as to where Stacy lives. When he notices it he lets out a laugh and gives me quick looks trying to stay focused on the road. As we arrive, I thank him and get out of the car. Before I could go, he gets out of the car and asks me to come here. As I get to him, I feel a breeze and hold my arms together. I left home without taking anything other than my bag and I forgot my jacket, even if the weather is hot, the breeze in the evening is still cold. I'll take one of Stacy's for tomorrow, it's okay.

"- Here, take that." James says, putting his leather jacket on my shoulders.

"- I can take one of Stacy's, it's okay James." i smile.

"- I don't care." he teasingly smiles. "You look so good when you wear my things." he adds, looking at the necklace.

"- Okay." i answer, burning red.

His smell is impregnated on his jacket. I wish I could tease him back by giving him something with my smell on. Giving him my panties maybe is too much now but I would if I could easily take them out. I laugh at my dirty thoughts and I kiss his cheek as a thank you. Before I go James takes my wrist in his hand. This hand of course.

"- Send me a text before you go to sleep, just so I know you are okay and safe because if you don't, I'll come rescue you."

"- Don't tempt me, Mr. Hetfield." i conclude, walking towards Stacy's place.

I can't believe how well he treats me. I can't believe he made me actually feel good on a shitty day like this. I can't believe I will get to have that again tomorrow. I can't believe James is real.

࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐

A/N : i’m sorry it took me so long to write it, i got sick and all. hope you enjoy it because i loves writing it <33 just imagine living that with james aargh

#james hetfield #james hetfield smut #james hetfield fanfiction #metallica #metallica smut #metallica fanfiction #lola’s delusions

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aceofspades-sml · 1 year

Text

My (extensive) notes about the Newsies ensemble + secondary and background characters in the UK production

Again disclaimer, I sat in Manhattan so I am aware I missed lots of interactions between the boys but I already have a lot to say from what I saw

Also I will put race in my other post about the main characters because I have way too much stuff to say about him

Uksies spoilers below the cut

A few thoughts about the ensemble :

The level of character in this show is genuinely so good ?? Like even background newsies with little to no line still have a kind of character arc through the show

Because it's not just about what's going on "officially" on stage, it's all the little interactions they have in the background or when walking through the aisles. It's the way they hug and show affection to each other. It's the way they clearly all have preferred friendships, people they will choose to go to, even tho they are close to all the others. It's the way they run to help each other during Seize the day, the way they look so sad and betrayed when the scabs appear for the first time- And I could go on for hours about all the little interactions like those

Also they added so much stuff to give more depth to every single character ??? Like in Seize the day they all come into a triangle and say their name, and yes it's important for the strike on a symbolic level but also in the show, because they aren't just members of the ensemble. Each of them is his own character with his own personality and honestly that's really interesting and meaningful

+ this is echoed later on when the girlsies all come into a circle and say their name during Brooklyn's here (also they have their own dance break !!! Center stage !!). And the Brooklyn girls don't play a major part in the show after that song (except maybe for Spot), but here, in the same way as the boys, they get the opportunity to be seen by the audience as their own character

So yeah I could say a lot about the ensemble stuff but tbh this part was so striking to me I really wanted to talk about it because it's really beautiful and I love the fact that this was included in the show

Anyway a few of my favorite things about the secondary/background characters, in no particular order because I basically just wanted to write down my thoughts

Tommy boy < 33

If you know me you know I love him, and Jack bromage owns my heart and soul

When I talked about how background newsies get a character arc, I was specifically thinking about him. During Seize the day he is the last scab to change his mind (they gave him the "My father's gonna kill me anyway" line !!!!), and then later during the rally he is really angry and screams "WE HATE YOU" at jack at the top of his lungs. Yes he is insecure and mad at Jack because he was the one who convinced him to join the strike and now he is just giving up on them

Tommy boy okay

Also I already mentionned this but in the "who wants Brooklyn" scene he just goes lying face first on the ground and plays dead, which is even funnier because 0.0005 seconds earlier he was among the most eagers to talk to the others neighbourhoods. Comedic gold I swear

Finch

I LOVE DAMON OKAY

His mic was broken at the beginning and there was a moment of panic when he realized it but tbh he coped like a boss

Gayest Finch and I'm not sorry

When the scabs come in and he says "They think they can just walz in here and take our jobs ?", he sounds genuinely heartbroken and betrayed. Those guys are his friends and he can't believe they are doing this. Also when he was saying this line it looked like he was talking directly to one of the scabs but I didn't see which one

Henry

Update on my Henry hyperfixation : it's stronger than ever

Give me Matt's Henry or give me death

"I'M COMING RACE" Okay king

At the beginning of Carrying the banner he scratches his crotch very agressively with his towel and then proceeds to wash his face with said towel. Got quite a reaction from the audience

His attitude and costume clearly put him among the oldest boys along with Finch, Race, Specs and Albert

Before wwk it felt like he was one of the angriest about the prices, tho he also seemed quite bewildered and lost and didn't know what to do about it

His "What the absolute fuck Race" attitude during kony was extremely strong

Also him and Race seemed to be pretty close ! E.g. when the boy all come in front of the gate before wwk, he is pulling a carriage with Race on it and when Race gets down he ruffles Henry's hair, which I thought was a pretty cute detail to add

Mike

He seemed so young ??? When all the boys were discussing the strike he just looked really tiny and anxious

It has been officially established that he is among the youngest newsies and um sir. It shows.

Also he is very loud and visible. He has like 1 solo line but you can't miss him. He talks loudly, gets angry, moves a lot...

Also he goes on the zipline at the end !!

Romeo

"Me thinks the lady needs to be handled by a *snaps suspenders* real man"

Cutest Romeo I swear

Also his "thank you lady" at the beginning ? Not only was it perfect but also I'm pretty sure some of the boys winced (Mark I'm looking at you) and judging by his voice George himself was close to losing it

Overall my favorite interpretation of the character and I was really sad I didn't get to focus on him more

Elmer

Not the one I focused on the most, but Rory looked so sweet honestly !

"I dunno sister but it's bound to rain sooner or later" amazing as always

Everytime I looked at him he looked kinda happy and cheerful, elmer is and will always be the human embodiment of pure sunshine

Splasher !!!

Given that he is a new character, he was the only newsies I didn't know anything about when I came in and I immediately fell in love with him (I mean how can you not)

Okay part of it is because they gave him my favorite line of the show : "at the end of the say who are you gonna trust ? Them (affectionate) or them (derogatory) ?"

And he is genuinely so sweet ?? Everytime I looked at him he was smiling and tbh his smile his very contagious

In seize the day he is the first one to get hit by the cops (he has the line "it's about time you showed up") and um hello ??? Give this boy a hug already

Also obviously, the talent of this guy is incredible. Absolutely rocking the floor in Seize the day + he has an amazing voice !!!

ALBERT

He was ??? Perfect ??

He is loud he is arrogant he is a hothead he is a pure ball of chaos

The leg of lamb scene was legit the most ridiculously funny line delivery. He just comes stumbling on stage in nothing but a towel like "hey race guess what very interesting thing just happened to me-"

During Carrying the banner my boy was straight up ready to fight the Delanceys

"TAKE IT DOWN SHORT STOP" okay but it isn't just the voice it's the way he takes a tough pose and his whole mocking attitude toward Les. Jacob said he was trying to mimic the attitude of the Les he has in front of him and honestly, it shows

Also for anyone wondering yes the Race/Albert friendship was very present. He also seemed kinda close to Specs

Also Specs !

I didn't get to focus on him as much as I would have wanted (same goes for Mush, Jojo and Ike actually that's why I'm not talking about them here, I really hope I'll be able to look at those four more when I go back) but still

They cut "I lost my shoe" ??? The worst part is I actually knew about it but forgot so during wwk I was expecting this line and was really thrown off when they just skipped to the next lyrics

Before Seize the day when he is on look-out and Jack (?) asks if he has any news of Brooklyn he goes "no" and adds "I'm sorry". And like it's a new thing and the way he said it ??? He was so sad and hopeless I just wanted to give him a hug

Okay yes I didn't get to look at them at other moments but still huge shoutout to Josh Denyer and Arcangelo for absolutely rocking the floor during Seize the day

The girlsies < 33

I LOVE THEM ???

Their entrance was so dramatic and sassy pls

Also I will never stop talking about it but- they get a dance break !!! They get to say their names !!! They are so much more important than in any other production I love it

Also they don't just stay in their own little corner, they interact with the boys ! They all seem to be on pretty friendly terms, they talk together, hug and wave at each other...

They aren't just plot devices with one (1) dramatic scene, they are characters ! They have friends !! They have actual friendships with the Manhattan boys !! And it makes the whole Brooklyn's here scene so much more meaningful bc it really feels like they are coming to help their friends

Did I ever mention how much I love Spot ? Lillie slaying as always

She is tough she is sarcastic she is ready to kick your ass I love her

Also at some point Lillie said Spot was very close to Davey in act 2, and if I'm being honest I had some doubts about this friendship but boy oh boy I would die for them

During the rally + during and after once and for all they seem to be talking together a lot and be on very good terms which was actually pretty cool !

Okay moving on to some non-newsies characters and then I'll stop I promise

Bill and Darcy !!!

They switched the costume colors around, Darcy has a dark suit while Bill has a white one so that was a change

Also George said "My father owns the tribune" (instead of just "the trib" like I'm used to) so that threw me off for a bit but actually I liked it

Also I loved the way Alex said "And proud to be a part of your revolution !" It felt really natural and nice I love Bill okay he's so sweet

Anyway then they were just. Vibing by the printing press. Good for them honestly

The Delancey

They are literally evil. They aren't just messing around, they actually mean harm. E.g. when they are taking Jack in the cellar he just falls on the ground and they keep kicking him

But what's to like in this production is their dynamic with each other. They are extremely physical, everything they come in they are always very close, shoulders brushing or something. Also they often gently push and tease each other

Overall in this version they feel so much more like brothers, their dynamic as a family and toward the newsies was much deeper and more interesting than in any other version imo

Also they aren't just physically affectionate with each other. The three scabs ? They were comforting them and patting their shoulders before pushing them towards the other newsies. When the first scab joins the strike (I don't remember who it was), they are being very gentle with Tommy boy, from where I was it looked like they were telling him he was gonna be okay or smth

Hannah < 333

Hello ??? Bobbie Chambers I owe you my heart and soul

She was amazing pls

Extremely light-hearted and a bit sarcastic

At the end in Pulitzer's office she starts going "actually they put up a pretty good banner" and so on and then she sees Pulitzer's face and just goes *okay sorry" in the most oh-shit-don't-kill-me voice ever

Anyway every single one of her lines was delivered perfectly nothing but love for her

Finally, Medda !

Amazing as always, I feel like her relationship with Jack was really explored here !

It's the way they hug the first time Jack comes in the theater. The way she cares so deeply for him and worries about him. It's the way she looks genuinely sad about the fact he wants to go, she knows it's a bad idea and wants to hold him back but at the same time she knows it's his choice so she doesn't force him to do anything

Also the That's rich performance was pretty cool !!

#hey guess who finally did something constructive with their thoughts instead of just screaming around #i feel genuinely bad for completely ignoring some of them but i was trying to focus on everything at once #if i go back at least i know where i need to put my attention #newsies #newsies uk #uksies #leo's newsies analysis

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eunoiaaaivy · 2 years

Text

loving you is okay.

tw: angst, hurt to comfort, imperfections, one swear word, fluff, midorima being sweet, not proof-read. let me know if i missed something!

notes: couldn't write for a while because of school! i have to write a request now!! i think it's ooc?? but thank you for reading!! <33

midorima has never been mad this bad. this rather stupid guy dare insulted you again! he's talking like he's all great when in fact he goes to the principal's office as if it were his room everyday. this annoying guy told you that you were dumb. and that you only pass because of your looks? he even had the nerve to tell you midorima never loved you and that he only dated you because you were pretty. but he has the nerve to call you ugly? that your thighs were big? that your stomach was a bit big? that your arms are fat? this guy is crazy! you're one of the smartest people he knows! he even thinks you're far more smarter than him! you had a brain! you never even liked yourself anyways (which also made shintaro mad) but to him you were far more ethereal than anyone he has met! you're too good for him! and he dare say that you were all those stuff? bro he was about to throw hands. you are perfect already! you deserve love and the best form of it. you were ethereal and perfect! nothing else can change his mind.

just because you don't fit a certain part of a standard doesn't mean you're ugly or unloved. you create your own then. it's rather great that you make your own unique one rather than fitting one. stand out.

you are perfect already. your body is imperfectly perfect already.

it's this guy who's stupid. thinking about something like that about you? he's furious. he despises this guy. a great explanation on why he's towering over him. he hurted you and made you cry, noe he's going to pay.

"aren't you the one who made [name] cry?" he asked calmly. although his blood was boiling inside.

"oh yeah but who are you? what's your connection with her? are you her night and shining armor that's going to protect her? i only stated the truth!" this stupid guy said.

shintaro had never been this mad at someone. his vision was covered with anger and so suddenly while the guy was mocking you, he choked his neck. the guy was being choked.

the eyes of the guy were full of fear now. he's being choked. he might pass out! but he couldn't say anything. shintaro's grip is tight. shintaro on the other hand was so mad.

mock him all you want but never you.

"you don't need to know my name. but remember this. once i hear that you come near [name] again or i hear another insult coming from you that's about her, i won't hesitate to pin that picture of you. you got it?" he stated threateningly.

all the guy could was nod. shintaro released his hold and the guys scowered away. of course the space where he was, was secluded. no one really comes here.

so he goes back to where you were. the room where you were crying and takao panicking. takao had never seen you cried. this was the first time so he's panicking. he never liked you being sad. you were always bright and cheerful. so he's probably comforting you right now as he confronted the guy.

finally arriving at the room he could hear outside of the room your voices. que takao's panicking voice.

"takao, am i really that dumb and ugly?" you asked while sobbing a bit.

it pained him. it pained shintaro that you ever thought of yourself like that. you weren't what they said. you're perfect.

"ofcourse not [name]! you aren't! you're so pretty! and you're so smart! don't tell this to shin-chan but i think you're smarter than him!" takao said in a voice where the tone was full of panic.

for once shintaro could agree. he thinks the same too. you always had the highest scores, even if you were just a bright but cheerful quiet kid.

"but what if the guy said was true?"

"[name] he's stupid okay! he's clearly lying!"

ofcourse takao was right. you were far more something than you are. far more than what they say about you.

"he's boring! even i'm mad at him! he could suck the popsicle that you dropped!"

and then he heard laughter. shintaro heard you laugh. it's his que to come in now. he knows. he knows that even if takao is panicking he's mad at the guy. after all you were his BFF.

"what he said was true. you don't have to put yourself lowly for that guy." shintaro stated, takao agreeing in the background.

"see even shin-chan is being all sweet and mushy mushy about that! you've got his heart [name]! nobody has done that yet!! ugh!" takao said dramatically but stating facts.

ofcourse shintaro was annoyed. although he won't show you how he hits takao in the head.

"ignore him. now let's go home. you'll be staying at my house tonight. i've already chatted your parents." shintaro said, talking to you in a soft voice.

"hUuuuHhh! shin-chan is being sweeeeEeetTtTt! but i feel so offended on my part! ugh!" takao once again stated dramatically, holding a hand to his forehead.

you laughed and shintaro just ignored him. midorima pulled you up and lead you outside the room. takao trailing behind.

shintaro signaled takao to go away for a moment which he indeed did, he wanted ice cream anyways. takao may be nosey but he knows boundaries.

"hey [name]-chaaaaan!! i'm just going to buy ice cream, okay! i'll be back!!" takao shouted, going directly to the canteen.

as you waved goodbye to takao, you and shintaro started walking again. in silence, although you were used to this. you never really expect anything from him anyways.

so it surprised you so much that he started talking first.

"what that guy said about you isn't true. he's very stupid and selfish. so don't think much about what he said. if he ever bothers you again, just tell me. i mean it. i know how stubborn you are." shintaro stated in his calm but deep voice.

"but i just don't know! you know how i am. so clumsy and dum-" you got cut off ofcourse.

"you aren't! okay! that guy is stupid! you aren't! if you aren't enough for him or anyone else then you're enough for me! remember that! you're perfect! far more ethereal than anyone else! the prettiest girl in my eyes okay! you are perfect! please listen to me for once!" he suddenly shouted. he's been mad at that stupid guy to make you think like this. so if this makes you realize all that stuff the guy said isn't true then so be it. he'll shout. he'll shout just to show you how much he loves you.

he sighed and calmed down while you were in awe staring at him. he never really initiated things like this. never once did he tell you this. only now.

"so, it's okay loving you okay? okay. don't think about what he said because I love you. i know i'm not perfect or anything, but you chose to see the imperfections in me. you chose to love my imperfections. even if it hurts you. so it's okay loving you. and i love you. you're perfect already. don't think about what that stupid guy said." he said, this timing holding a hand to his forehead, all the things that guy said about you made him stressed. stupid guy.

"oh shintaro my love, i chose you because i love you okay? your imperfections are the things that make you perfect. so thank you for saying that." you said, shy. so all you did was flash him your sweet smile.

"i love you too. so don't ever forget that." with that, he grabbed your hand and kissed it. he didn't let go. he held it tight and guided you out of the campus.

"wait, where's takao?"

"he already went first, he's waiting for us."

and so you did see takao, eating his chocolate ice cream.

"finally! i thought you guys were going to take a little longer!"

"shut up takao and drive us to my house!"

"so unfair shin-chan!"

but he paddled the rickshaw anyways. and so you guys went home, shintaro didn't care if takao was there gushing about him holding your hands. all he wanted was for you to know that he's always there by your side and he loves you unconditionally.

and you knew the meaning, so you turned your head and smiled a beautiful smile at him. you mouthed "thank you. thank you very much. i love you." and all he did was smile and held on to your hand tighter.

shintaro wasn't the sweetest guy at all. nor the most romantic one. but he appreciates you. someone appreciates you for once. he appreciates your effort in making a bracelet for him, matching ones in fact. he appreciates the way you smile at him gently. he appreciates the way you pack extra lunch just for him. he appreciates the way you're so thoughtful and considerate. so kind yet compassionate. full of passion and dreams which he is part of.

he appreciates everything about you. and just knowing that makes your heart swell. he chose you in your imperfections. you chose him too. you guys were a match. understanding and unconditionally loving each other in both's imperfections. what a love story.

BONUS:

as takao was about to go back to his house, shintaro stepped out in his eyes once he got you in. walking takao to the rickshaw he spoke.

"thank you. thank you for comforting [name] awhile ago."

ofcourse takao was shocked but he knew that this wasn't the time to make fun of his friend.

"you're always welcome shin-chan! if he doesn't go away let's beat him together!"

"i don't resort to violence but sure i guess."

"WOWOWOWOWOWOW! HAS [NAME]-CHAN MADE YOU SUPER-DUPER SOFT!?"

"SHUT UP TAKAO! YOU SHOULD BE EVEN GRATEFUL THAT I THANKED YOU AND WALKED YOU TO THE RICKSHAW! GOODNIGHT DUMBASS!"

"CHIIIILLLL!! i was just kidding!! but always welcome shin-chan!! bye-byeeeeee!!" takao said going away quickly before shintaro could hit him.

and as takao was further away, he smiled to himself.

"thank you. you guys are special to me."

and with that shintaro went away, going back to check up on you.

© Astaaaaa. Please do not steal my works or plots. This is a work of fiction and is not associated with the real anime/manga/manhwa plot. If anyone has done this before please tag me! Thank you very much! Reblogs are appreciated and thank you very much for reading!

#midorima shintaro x reader #midorima shintaro #midorima x reader #knb midorima #midorima shintarou #midorima #generation of miracles #generation of mircales midorima #knb imagines #knb scenarios #knb x reader #knb headcanons #knb

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rickie-the-storyteller · 9 months

Text

Steph's Crew - Part 23: After the Afterparty

Intro:

Hey!!

So, this is still after prom. Things start to settle down... only to get even crazier lol. (Jk. Or am I...)

We're focusing more on Alice and especially Dylan this time. Gotta wrap up his family drama somehow, right? And what better way to do that than to give his family even MORE drama lol (you'll understand once you get into it).

And we're also getting a return from Ben! Woohoo! (I feel like we haven't seen him in a while. I've missed him a lot hahaha)

Enjoy!

Wrapping things up

(The crew are now back at Bret's place, since Dylan and Alice left some of their stuff in his aunt Rachel's car. They are all hanging outside, in the back garden)

Alice: I think now's a good time for some tunes, guys. Just to bring this night to a close. What do you say, Bret?

Bret: Sure. (gets out his guitar) Any requests? Should we do something fast or slow?

Elise: Ooh! I have an idea. (whispers her suggestion to Bret)

Bret: (smiles) That's a nice one. Super deep lyrics.

Elise: I know! And the harmonies are fun in it, too.

Stephanie: I seriously hope you don't expect us to sing along, El.

Elise: Wh- why not?

Alice: Are you kidding? I'm not singing!

Dylan: Neither.

Elise: Come on!

Bret: Can I start now, or…?

Elise: Oh, yeah. Go ahead.

(Bret starts playing "Heal Over" by KT Tunstall. He sings, and Elise harmonises with him. They glance at each other and smile)

Dylan: Yo, Steph?

Stephanie: Yep?

Dylan: Dance with me? (extends his hand towards her)

Stephanie: Aw, Dylan. (takes his hand) Thanks. I'd love to.

(The two stand up and start slow dancing to the music)

Dylan: So, you having fun?

Stephanie: (smiles) I am, you know.

Dylan: (smiles back) Yeah?

Stephanie: Yeah! I am. It's crazy how a night that started out so terrible can end up so… so-

Dylan: What?

Stephanie: Perfect. I mean, look around. I am so freaking lucky… I'm literally surrounded by love right now. Not everyone in the world has friends as amazing as the ones I've got.

Dylan: (Chuckles) True.

Stephanie: This is going to sound really sad, but I genuinely can't remember the last time I felt this happy. (pauses) And it's all thanks to you.

Dylan: Aw, Steph… that does sound really sad, oh my God. You ok, mate?

Stephanie: (shrugs) I don't know. I mean, I'm fine right now, obviously, but generally I just… (pauses, wells up with tears) I don't know.

Dylan: Want to talk about it?

Stephanie: (thinks for a moment, then shakes her head) No. No, no… Now's not a good time.

Dylan: (concerned) Are you sure? I don't mind.

Stephanie: Yeah! I'm sure. It'll just dampen the fun and lively atmosphere, you know? We don't want that.

Dylan: I guess. But if you ever do need to talk, feel free to call me any time. You don't need to keep this to yourself. Ok?

Stephanie: Ok.

Dylan: I'm always going to be here for you, Steph. If you need anything, I want you to know you can trust me. I care about you. We all do. We help each other out. That's what family does, you know? Or, chosen family, in this case… The point is, you can rely on us. Don't be afraid to let us in. All I want is what's best for you.

Stephanie: I know, Dylan. (leans in and rests her head on his shoulder) I love you.

Dylan: I love you, too. (kisses her forehead)

(Alice looks around her and realises that she's kind of the odd one out. Her prom date is dancing with another girl, and she can't even join in the singing, because she doesn't know the song very well. So she texts her sister Mary instead, asking her how she's doing. Mary responds almost straight away, saying: "I'm doing great!! Prom was so much fun. But I'm suuuuuuper tired lol. Heading to bed soon. When will you be home??")

Alice: Guys, it's getting pretty late. I think I'll make my way home now.

Dylan: Wait, now?

Alice: Yeah. I'm exhausted.

Dylan: Ok, then. (stops dancing with Stephanie) I should go with you. So you don't walk alone.

Alice: No, it's ok. You're clearly busy. I can get home by myself. (leaves)

Dylan: Ally, wait! (follows after her)

Bret: (abruptly stops playing the song) Couldn't this have waited until after the song was finished?!

(There's a bit of an awkward silence. Stephanie sits next to Elise and Bret)

Stephanie: You guys should do "Gangster's Paradise" next.

The journey home

Dylan: (following after Alice) Ally!

Alice: Thanks for the offer, but it really isn't necessary.

Dylan: Come on, Ally! Stop!

Alice: No!

Dylan: HEY! (catches up to her and steps in front of her, getting her to stop) What's going on? Why are you being like this right now?

Alice: I don't know, alright?! I just… (sighs) I just want to go home. Move, please.

Dylan: I'm going with you.

Alice: Dylan…

Dylan: No, it's ok. I'm going to the same place, aren't I?

Alice: You shouldn't cut your fun short just because of me.

Dylan: Walking home with you isn't cutting my fun short.

(Alice smiles at this. The two set off together. Eventually, the two are sitting next to each other on the bus. It starts raining outside)

Alice: (leans her back against Dylan and closes her eyes) I'm beat.

Dylan: (nudges her with his arm) Stay awake. We're almost there.

Alice: I'm so tired I'll probably forget to take my makeup off before bed.

Dylan: Wait… you're not supposed to do that?

Alice: No! It's like, horrible for your skin. Apparently. I don't know. I never wear makeup.

Dylan: Hmm. (suddenly his phone rings. He picks it up and finds that it's his dad. He ignores it)

Alice: Um… you're not going to get that?

Dylan: It's my dad.

Alice: Oh. Ok.

(Dylan then gets a message from his mum, which he also ignores. But then she leaves a voicemail, which he decides to listen to. He gasps when he hears what she has to say)

Dylan: Oh my God.

Alice: Dylan? Are you ok?

Dylan: Oh my God….

Alice: What's wrong?

Dylan: (welling up with tears) Sam. My brother.

Alice: (concerned) Yeah?

Dylan: He's missing.

Slowly making progress

(Dylan and his parents have teamed up to search for Sam. They were now out looking around the city, searching all the spots he's most likely to go. Alice is keeping connected with Dylan via phone calls and texts so that she can be informed on how the search is going)

Alice: Hey, Dylan. Any progress?

Dylan: (on the phone) Not really. But hey, you shouldn't stay up too late. Go to bed, yeah? I'll fill you in in the morning.

Alice: No. It's ok. Fill me in now.

Dylan: You must be dead tired.

Alice: I am with you, bro. Every… (yawns) every step of the way.

Dylan: (chuckles) Alright. We've just been to the library, the post office, the park… even that area in the town square with the water fountain. He often likes to go there and just stare at it when we pass it.

Alice: Me too. That place is gorgeous.

Dylan: (laughs some more) Yeah. No sign of him yet, though. (sighs) I'm really worried.

Alice: You'll find him eventually.

Dylan: I know… I just… I kind of feel responsible, you know? Like I've failed him somehow.

Alice: But you weren't even there, Dylan. It isn't on you.

Dylan: That's the exact problem. I haven't been there for him. That's my whole job as his big brother, isn't it? I'm supposed to look out for him, but I haven't been. I've just been thinking about myself.

Alice: Dylan-

Dylan: (voice breaking) That's all I've ever been doing… that's why I left home and moved in with you. That's why I've just been constantly fighting with mum and dad. I never think about anyone else, or how they might be feeling. I've just been focusing on me.

(Dylan is silent for a while)

Alice: Dylan… are you ok?

Dylan: (sniffles) Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. Look, I should get back to the search. Robyn's gotten my message and she says she'll let me know if he turns up at her place, so-

Alice: Robyn?

Dylan: Yeah. Sam used to love her when we were together.

Alice: You still talk to Robyn?

Dylan: Well, yeah. Sometimes. I just thought she might be helpful here, you know?

Alice: Uh, right. Yeah! That-that does make sense, right.

Dylan: You good?

Alice: (awkwardly) Absolutely! You go find your brother, Dylan. We'll catch up later.

Dylan: O-ok. Talk to you later, then.

Alice: (forced cheerfulness) Bye! (abruptly hangs up and sighs)

Mary: (in bed) What's wrong?

Alice: Nothing.

Mary: Don't lie.

Alice: It's stupid.

Mary: Spill.

Alice: Dylan. He still talks to his ex.

Mary: And that bothers you?

Alice: I… guess it does.

Mary: Hm.

Alice: What?

Mary: Nothing. It's just… that crap literally means nothing. I mean, look at me. I still talk to my ex. Hell, I even went to prom with him.

Alice: That's different, though.

Mary: How?

Alice: It just is!

Mary: …Ok. (pauses) Do you like Dylan, Ally?

Alice: What?!

Mary: Yes or no?

Alice: Shut up. I'm actually over this whole conversation. (slumps in her own bed)

Mary: I'll take that as a yes.

Alice: (groans) Stop!

Mary: I think he likes you too, by the way.

Alice: You do?

Mary: Yeah, I do. So does mom.

Alice: Elise told me that she thinks so, too. But I didn't take her seriously.

Mary: Why not? She's like, the only person in your friend group that has actual brain cells.

(Alice bursts out laughing at Mary's comment)

Lost and found

(After another hour of searching, Dylan and his dad split up at a corner. Dylan goes down an underpass and spots his brother sitting at the far end, waiting for the rain to stop. Dylan switches on his phone torch to get a better look)

Dylan: Sam?

(Sam turns around to face him, but doesn't move from his spot)

Dylan: Hey, bro.

Sam: What are you doing here?

Dylan: Could ask you the same thing. (calls his dad) Hey, dad. I've found him.

Dad: (on the phone) Really? Great, where are you two? I'll try and get to you guys.

Dylan: He's in the underpass. Remember where we were, at the roundabout with all the shops and offices on the right side of the street? Just take a left, go downwards, take the steps… you'll know where we are once you get there, there's tons of graffiti on the walls-

Dad: Alright. We're on the way. Stay put, yeah?

Dylan: Yeah, ok. Bye.

Dad: Bye, son. (ends the call)

Dylan: (to Sam) So, we should talk, shouldn't we?

Sam: Sure. How was prom?

Dylan: It was great. But you know that's not what I meant.

Sam: What did you mean, then?

Dylan: What is going on with you, Sam? Why did you run away? Why are you hiding here?

Sam: I don't know. Didn't think anybody would make this much of a fuss…

Dylan: Oh, come on!

Sam: What?! I mean, it's ok when you and mum leave, but not me? Talk about double standards…

Dylan: What?

Sam: We learnt about double standards in PSHCE. You'd know that if you tried harder to stay in touch.

Dylan: I have tried to stay in touch, Sam. You know that.

Sam: I meant with all of us, Dylan! Not just me. You just want to wreck everything with mum and dad, don't you?! You don't want to forgive them. You can't even be bothered to make up or move on… you just want to stay all angry and lonely forever!

Dylan: I am NOT lonely, Sam. Believe me.

Sam: Oh my God, Dylan. There's no point in being at home, is there?! Home just isn't home anymore!

Dylan: (taken aback) What do you mean?

Sam: Home isn't home. Our family doesn't feel like family. Everyone's just a million miles away! Mum's chosen this new random guy over us, you've chosen to stay angry with dad and live with the Johnsons… even dad's not being like himself anymore. Physically, he's here. He's the only one that stayed, and yet… well, he may as well have chosen to leave me too!

Dylan: Sam…

Sam: (welling up with tears) I'm just tired. Tired of everything… tired of living in a house that doesn't feel like home. I want our family to go back to when we all used to love each other.

(Sam starts crying. Dylan sits down beside him and wraps his arms around him)

Dylan: We do love each other.

Sam: Why doesn't it feel that way anymore, then?

Dylan: I don't know, Sam. But we can make it better.

Sam: Really?

Dylan: Really. I promise, bro. We're going to do all we can to make things right.

(At this point, their mum and dad come down the underpass and find the two boys huddled together on the other end. They call over to their kids and the family meet up in the middle, where they all hug)

The next day

(Stephanie and Ben are in the middle of a Skype call)

Stephanie: (laughing) Man, Dani's such a weirdo!

Ben: Yes, she is. We all love her for it, though.

Stephanie: Wow. Sounds like you're having a really good time there, Ben.

Ben: I am! This is a really great place to work, I'm loving everything about it.

Stephanie: (smiles) I'm glad.

Ben: So, how are things with you? How was prom? Pretty sure that was meant to have happened by now.

Stephanie: Yeah, it was yesterday.

Ben: How was it? Did you have fun with the others?

Stephanie: I did! I mean, I didn't go.

Ben: Really? How come?

Stephanie: I dunno. I was sad that I couldn't go with you. And anyway, I had other important things to do that night. But they came by afterwards and we hung out for a bit.

Ben: What did you have to do that was so important, Steph?

Stephanie: I… had to meet up with some people. Talk a few things over with them.

Ben: Who?

Stephanie: Just… people, Ben.

Ben: Babe?

Stephanie: What?

Ben: (firmly) Who?

Stephanie: (sighs) Look, I would tell you, but you'll be mad. I basically went against all your advice.

Ben: What advice?

Stephanie: Remember my nightmares about Mel?

Ben: Yeah.

Stephanie: We talked on the phone about it for a while, you gave me advice on how to deal?

Ben: Yeah, yeah.

Stephanie: You said that I should just move on with my life. That there's nothing I can do to change the past and that the only thing I can actively do now is try and be a better person and let go of the regrets of the past, or whatever… I can't remember what you actually said, but it was somewhere along those lines.

Ben: Right.

Stephanie: And I couldn't do that. I tried… but nothing worked.

Ben: What do you mean?

Stephanie: I mean, it isn't enough to just tell someone to "get over it." Believe it or not, Ben, "getting over it" is a lot easier said than done.

Ben: I know… that's not what I said, though.

Stephanie: It's what you meant, though. Isn't it?

Ben: Well, what DID you do?

Stephanie: I took active steps to achieve proper closure to my Mel issues.

(Brief pause)

Ben: Which means?

Stephanie: I went back to my old foster parents and had a deep talk with them about her.

Ben: (taken aback) You did?!

Stephanie: There, see? I knew you'd be mad.

Ben: No, no. I'm not mad, babe. I'm just… shocked. I didn't think you wanted anything to do with them anymore.

Stephanie: Well, I didn't. Don't. You're right about that. And now, they don't want anything to do with me, either. I completely ruined things with them, and now there's no going back.

Ben: Wow…

Stephanie: I know.

Ben: I can't believe this…

Stephanie: I can.

Ben: How fucking heartless can people be… how are you doing now, Steph? Are you ok?

Stephanie: I'm fine, don't worry. I just… I could use a holiday, you know? Just some time away from this place. The longer and further, the better. (sighs) Too bad summer isn't for a while yet. And I have exams and shit.

Ben: I can't believe you had to deal with all this on your own.

Stephanie: I wasn't alone, Ben. I had Dylan and Ally and Bret and El. Man, I'm so glad me and El made up…

Ben: You and Elise have been fighting?

Stephanie: Yeah. Well, not really "fighting" per say. We just had a period of not speaking due to an… (pauses, tries to think of how to phrase it) incident involving her boyfriend. Yeah.

Ben: Elise has a boyfriend?

Stephanie: Yeah, Ben. Bret. Remember?

Ben: OH! Yeah, right. I don't know why I keep forgetting that…

Stephanie: Is it 'cause they've been friends for so long that you only register them as friends in your head?

Ben: (chuckles) That's probably it, yeah.

Stephanie: Mmm. Yeah, they're in love now. They're super cute… they went to prom together and everything.

Ben: That's nice. I wonder who's going to fall in love next in the group…

Stephanie: I know Dylan has a thing for Ally, so who knows?

Ben: Really? Huh. I don't really see it.

Stephanie: Seriously?

Ben: Only because I know what Alice is like. I don't think she'd go for someone like Dylan, as great as he is.

Stephanie: Interesting… but you know, sometimes people can surprise you. Bret told me a while back that El's nothing like any girl he's ever been with, and look at them.

Ben: True. I guess only time will tell.

Stephanie: Yeah. (pauses) Well, I guess you're completely updated on what's going on at this end. I'm glad to see you're doing well yourself.

Ben: (smiles) Yeah, I am. I miss you a lot, though.

Stephanie: I miss you, too. But soon I'll be completely done with school, and then we can make plans to see each other again over the summer.

Ben: Already way ahead of you with that.

Stephanie: Oh?

Ben: It was meant to be a surprise, but since it came up…

Stephanie: (smiles) You've taken time off to come visit?

Ben: Yep. Could you do me a favour and try to act surprised when I show up, though? Just for me?

Stephanie: (nods) I'll try my best!

Ben: Thanks, babe.

Stephanie: I love you so much, Ben.

Ben: I love you, too.

There we go! Cute Bephanie scene to balance out all the Dylan family angst lol.

Dylan begins to realise just how badly his actions have affected the family when Sam starts getting stressed out. It is at this point where things start to go back on track, thank goodness (which means he's going to start thinking of moving back home real soon).

Alice also starts realising that she may be starting to develop feelings for Dylan herself (after seeing him dance with someone else and also finding out that he is still in touch with Robyn). Will they or won't they? Stay tuned to find out haha.

We're getting really, really close to the end of this series... but there are still a few good moments and surprising twists here and there that you won't want to miss!

#rickie-the-storyteller #writerblr #writing #steph's crew #original story #original content #stephanie smith and her friends #original characters

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somuchbetterthanthat · 7 months

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Getting personal here and not hiding it behind a wall cause I kinda wouldn't mind getting people's opinions over this; you see I've spent like, a decade at least of my life being depressed, and It's only those past couple of years I've felt like I was settling into myself and moving forwards and onwards and is it perfect? no, course not, i'm still too anxious and I get moody and sad too often, but like, larger picture wise, i'm fine, i'm okay, i'm doing well these days.

but see depression is like, this gene was runs deep deep deep into the blood of my family, and you'd think that would make it easier to help each other but I feel it just makes it worse?

And right now my brother is depressed, clearly depressed, might be starting to rely a bit too much on alcohol at times (said so himself, which is why i feel confident saying it); he hasn't had a job since he left his previous one in a field he loves but where places are hard to get and he was disrepected as shit, and I feel he's slowly got isolated from all his old friends, and he still does things, like he still go to the tennis club often, and he goes cycling when the time allows it, but otherwise he just doesn't leave the house, and he's living with my mum, who again, it's a family thing, is also and has always been a very emotive and depressive person who's very good at feeling guilty of everything, and I think maybe the colocation makes things worse for the both of them?

and I want to help, but I just. Don't know what to do. My brother isn't the kind of guy you "get" to do things, if he doesn't want to, he just won't do it is all. I feel like a job would help him lots cause well, for better or worse we've also got the whole "am i really a Good Person If I am Not Working" thing capitalism kindly drilled in our brains since infancy, but i know NOTHING about sports, least of all professional football, so i can't just like, hand CVs for him or whatever.

but i feel i SHOULD know what to do???? Because that was me! That's been exactly me!!!! and i'm just feeling helpless and a little bit scared coz of other stuff that went on in my family and how similar he sounds to my grandma sometimes and. yeah i dunno.

I'm just worried. I feel he would feel better with some friends and a job but i can't help with that and aaaaah.

#sorry for the rant i let myself think for 0.4seconds and now i'm spiralling about this again #i can't talk about it to my parents of course coz my dad is like 'emotions? nope. let's not.'#and my mum will be like 'it's my fauuuult' or whatever #personal #honestly if people have ideas. Or they know exactly the person that could hire him in the offices of professional football teams #im listening #the only thing my brain can come up with rn is buying him expensive tickets for a cool football match in another country #how would i afford that i don't know i've just been watching too many travelling videos ok

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fixfoxnox · 1 year

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Are we having gaz and Rudy appreciation time??? I love them so fucking much (Rudy is (one of) my watch background(s) (the other is markiplier ahekehwk) and the lack of appreciation for them makes me so mad

The amount of edits I've seen of Price ghost soap and könig like I like könig as much as the next guy but WHERES MY GAZ and the fact that he's the only one of the 141 without a skullmask skin makes me seethe like I like Farah's skin and I love her in general but LET GAZ MATCH WITH HIS TEAM

And also them adding Alejandro and Valeria but not Rudy (as far as I can tell) makes me so sad like alerudy have a sticker over them in my mind that says DO NOT SEPERATE

(Also also like its super suspicious to me that gaz is the least popular of the 141 despite being in BOTH of the new mw's like makes me wonder what factors are at play here)

Over all I adore both gaz and Rudy and to see them so slept on makes me so angry

Anyway I've worked myself into a tizzy I gotta go nap

- (⚈₋₍⚈)

NO BECAUSE THE FACT THAT GAZ DOESN'T HAVE A SKULL MASK PISSES ME OFF SO BAD??? LIKE ITS RED TEAM 141 AND YOU LEAVE OUT ONE OF THE FIRST MEMBERS OF THE 141?? TF?? (also fun fact I just recently got to play the raid where you unlock Gaz, my brothers did it with me and it took us like 2 1/2 hours shdhdjdjdj but I have Gaz now and all is good) HE BETTER GET HIS OWN SKULL MASK LATER OR ELSE

With the new season I am praying that they add Rudy in as a character outside of the battlepass while this one is active. Like please I need to get murdered by a Rudy/Alejandro team in TDM PLEASE

Oh yeah its definitely suspicious that Gaz is the least popular of the 141 despite being in both games. He clearly has the most development of any characters in the game from his whole thing about feeling like he can't do enough to help to all of the stuff with the one guys kids in the first one?? Like his whole arc about doing what needs to be done no matter the bad things/sacrifices along the way??? He is arguably the main character of the reboot games and the fact that he doesn't have as much attention is definitely suspicious as fuck.

Side eye to anyone who says they don't like gaz/says he has no personality/replaces him in their stuff

Gaz and Rudy deserve all of the love in the world I adore them

#thoughts with luke #you asked luke #kyle gaz garrick #rodolfo parra

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alwayzraven · 2 years

Text

Kardeşlerim 62 - recap part 1

Asiye didn't tell Omer about the DNA test results because Suzan lied to him and told him that Ahmet is not his real father. Asiye told Sevgi that she knew the truth. She asked her why is everyone lying to Omer about his dad. Sevgi told her that Ahmet doesn't care that Omer is his son and if Omer knew that, he would be sad. So, Asiye burned the DNA test.

Aybike and Oglucan were so pissed after Sengul told them what Afra did to her. The next day, Aybike pulled her hair at the bus station.

Afra said: "Since you don't want me to make your mom sad, I am gonna make you sad". After she arrived to school, she went to sit with Berk and Sarp.

Before class starts, Aybike went to the library to do some homework and Berk came to talk to her.

Berk: “Aybike, please ! 5 minutes ! Just 5 minutes”

Berk: “I am sorry”

Berk: “I need to ask you something, Aybike. But please tell me the truth, okay? ”

Berk: “Did you really love me? Because if your answer is yes, our relationship shouldn’t have ended this easily”

Aybike: “What you’re saying was easy, was you breaking my heart multiple times Berk! It’s you attacking other people and hurting me because you’re hurting. Believe me, struggling with that wasn’t easy, it wasn’t easy”

Berk: “You didn’t struggle Aybike. You left me alone in this fight”

Here “savaş” can also mean “war” or “battle”

Aybike: “Berk, what fight? what fight? There is no fight or anything like that. Okay, you’re angry at Doruk’s family, I understand that, but you hurt Asiye and said that you could’ve done worse than that and if that wasn’t enough, you gave me the “lackey” tag. It’s like you’re trying to destroy everything and everyone because you’re hurting. Stop it”

Berk: “I am not a bad person Aybike. Okay, I was shaken up, I lost my balance and I even fucked up, I acknowledge that but I am not a bad person”

Aybike: “I am so mad at you Berk ! Can you give me some time to cool down?”

Berk: “Yeah, sure. You can have all the time you want. I am going to get myself together. I will be the berk you love. I promise”

Berk: “You do your homework, I will see you later”

Aybike: “Later”

Her smile at the end 🥺❤️️

Yasmin brought her mom's sleeping pills with her to school to put some in a water bottle and give it to Asiye. Tolga saw her put the pills in the bottle but wasn't able to warn Asiye about before the match began because he was helpping a teacher move some boxes. He later told Aybike and Aybike created a diversion so Tolga can switch the bottles up.

Berk saw Aybike and Tolga talking so he got mad and left the cafeteria. Later, Aybike went to talk with him.

Aybike: “What are you doing Berk? Why did you leave like that? ”

Berk: “Never mind Aybike, I think it’s better if we don’t talk. There is no need for it”

Aybike: “ No I think we should. Let’s talk!”

Berk: “I understood why you asked me to give you some time, you're stalling me”

Aybike: “What stalling Berk ? What are you talking about?”

Berk: “You pitied me, probably or to not make me sad because I can’t think of any other reason”

Aybike: “Can you speak clearly? Because I didn’t understand what you mean”

Berk: “it’s because of Tolga, right? That’s why you asked me to give you some time, to plan how you’re going to get out of this ! Do you think I don’t see you two when you’re whispering to each other and secretly looking at each other? Do you think I don’t see that?”

Aybike: “You have really lost your mind ! I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with that guy and why do you keep on thinking about silly stuff but I don’t want to talk about this anymore because it’s a waste of time”

Berk: “Why are you so close with Tolga then? Your cousin is playing the final round of the tournament and you stood in a corner talking with that guy ! You can’t take your eyes off of each other ! Do you think I didn’t notice that?”

Aybike: “Yasmin set a trap for Asiye, Tolga saw her and told me about it, we were talking about what we should do about it”

Berk: “Bravo to him! So he’s playing the hero now! Bravo!”

Aybike: “No bravo to you and this applause is for you Berk! Bravo to you !”

Berk: “God dammit !”

Akif started working at the restaurant where Omer and Suzan work. Tolga's dad came to the restaurant and Omer saw him. He told Akif about him hitting Tolga so Akif kicked him out of the restaurant. Omer called Oglucan and told him to go to Tolga's house. When Tolga's dad came home screaming he saw everyone there so he couldn't touch Tolga. He had a plane to catch so Tolga was saved this time.

The next morning, everyone was gathered by the entrance. While, Omer was apologizing to Susen for not showing up to their date, Tolga came in and the first thing he said: ”WILL YOU GUYS TELL ME WHY YOU CAME TO MY HOUSE YESTERDAY EVENING” I think he should’ve used a megaphone because I don’t think the whole school heard that the Erens were at his house last night.

I am not gonna do a recap of that scene in this post because I don’t have time now and I think that scene deserves a post on its own because there were so many things wrong with it. I will write a recap part 2 later just for that scene.

Sarp swapped math books and Oglucan took the wrong book. Omer, Asiye, Aybike and Oglucan ended up doing the wrong homework so Doruk and the erens got Zeros. The professor said that this homework’s grade was so important to their final grade. I wonder if this will have an effect on their scholarship especially since they will have to sit for an exam soon to get the scholarship for the new term.

Sarp told Omer and the others what he did and he tried to fight with Omer at the cafeteria but Omer pushed him and Sarp landed in a trash can lol. Later in the evening Sarp brought some friends with him to Omer’s house to beat Omer up then he took a picture of him laying between trash bags. On his way back, Sarp was not paying attention to the road and he hit Emel who was crossing the road on her bicycle. Sarp wanted to get her to the hospital but his friends dragged him out of there and told him to drive away. Omer later woke up and went looking for Emel. He found her laying on the road.

I am so done with this show ! The scene where Tolga sees Yasmin putting the pills in the water bottle should’ve been written for Berk. Seeing the writers try to clean Tolga’s image make me sick ! Berk was 100% right in this episode !

#kardeslerim #kardeşlerim #ayber #recap

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minetteskvareninova · 2 years

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Because the show gave me literally nothing when it comes to Daemon and Rhaenyra’s love life, we can only speak about it in heacannons, and so headcannon I shall, untill I am proven wrong. This is my story and I am sticking to it.

Basically, the main outline is this - Daemon loves Rhaenyra, and Rhaenyra doesn’t love Daemon.

Daemon, as of episode 6, is married to Laena, but seemingly already in the “going trough the motions phase of their relationship”. They have children, and I am not sure whether Daemon is a good father or not, because even what little we have on that is confusing as fuck. Like they have a cute scene of him teaching his daughters Valyrian, but then Rhaella complains about him not paying enough attention to her. Also on screen, he leaves his daughters hanging after Laena’s death, but in a deleted scene he actually hugs them, which, okay, maybe they changed their mind about that... But then they posted the deleted scene on twitter, which, why would you make public a deleted scene that says the EXACT OPPOSITE of what is supposed to be the show canon?! Basically, the only way I can kinda make sense of that is if I just conclude Daemon is a somewhat neglectful father that kinda loves his daughters, but also only spends time with them whenever he fancies actually being a dad. I don’t think, as many have just assumed, that he’s outright depressed. He’s heartbroken, but also bored and aimless. After he lost Rhaenyra, he probably thought getting married, having children and moving to Pentos will make him happy, but even if that worked, his happiness clearly didn’t last throughout all of those years. Why did he marry Laena? God knows. It’s unlikely anyone would make him do it if he didn’t want to. Maybe Corlys offered him a handsome dowry, maybe he just wanted this match to happen, because Daemon is his buddy and Laena clearly wants him, so why not? It’s also possible Daemon wanted to prevent Viserys from arranging another marriage for him, because if Daemon hates something more than his wife, it’s being told what to do (and those two are probably linked, not that it’s in any way fair to Rhea, who probably wasn’t wild about this match either). It’s also possible he just wanted a family, but more as a whim than a genuine desire; it certainly didn’t satisfy him in the long term. He also likes Laena, but doesn’t really love her, and I get the sense that he’s getting bored of her too. And like, he’s Daemon, so I don’t feel sad, but considering the shit he usually does to cheer himself up... And since he’s now almost free to pursue the love of his life... Yeah, poor Laenor.

Rhaenyra, on the other hand, does not and never did love Daemon. She had vague feelings for him in her youth, like a vague crush and stuff, but after he left and she got married, she mostly forgot him. Considering Harwin Strong isn’t the most logical choice for the father of her children, especially after the first one was very clearly his, I can only assume she stayed with him trough all those years out of love. Again, we don’t see much of their relationship, which is a pity, but we certainly know it existed and that it was probably very loving. Rhaenyra is a devoted mum, not much to comment on here, and her relationship with Laenor isn’t as friendly as she used to be, but she still likes him somewhat. Her relationship with Alicent also leaves much to the imagination, like we know she probably tried to reach her before in the decade we didn’t see, but that’s about it. Does she know the reasons why Alicent hates her now? Did they actually talk about it? Did Rhaenyra tell Alicent that it’s none of her business, and did Alicent tell her that she sacrificed herself on the altar of propriety and “good behavior”, and that it’s a personal offence to her that her own best friend isn’t able to do the same? And did they have a heated argument about this, which ended in Alicent finally admitting that she doesn’t REALLY care, but she does love Rhaenyra and is in agony every day as she watches her openly sleep with and love another man behind her husband’s back, while she wishes for nothing more than to be in Harwin’s place...?

Ahem. All of this rambling is basically my way of processing my feelings about these two and their relationship. Because the shippers are everywhere in this fandom and I just can’t avoid takes both good and bad. Anyway, fuck the timeskip, and long live rhaenicent.

#house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #daemyra #daenyra #or whatever the fuck is it called

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arainmorn-art · 1 year

Text

A path of self-destruction

So I’ve seen that 14th March is Write Your Story day. Sounds neat, though I have no ideas for fiction to write about right now. But I have a personal story. I wanted to write about it for quite some time, because for some weird reason I feel more comfortable writing about some psychological stuff in English. It seems easier - and safer. Here might be no people that know me personally. And with a small audience it also feels... like I am in a small circle of silent respectful strangers, telling my story without a chilling fear of being interrupted or shunned. Or being avoided.

People don’t like sad body horror stories.

It’s an act of self-preservation for sure, our mind tries to protect us from horrible things, as it tries to be a protective parent guarding its kid. I understand it. It’s not like I tell the whole story to everyone, firstly it would take a long time, secondly - I don’t like making people upset. If people around me, who like me, are getting upset only by mentioning a miniscule part of stuff, why should I force them to listen the rest?

But sometimes... I need to tell it.

Heh. And how should I begin?

“There once was a girl with a loving family. She had both parents, a mother and a father. But strangely the girl was growing up strongly relating to fatherless kids her age. She was growing up waiting for her father’s death”

An intriguing kind of start, I hope.

The thing is it’s quite hard for me to tell you about only this part of my forming years, because right after high school there were also several traumatic circumstances I lived with, and stories about my dad and the coup, and the civil war, and severe trust issues, and loosing a feel of basic safety, and a crushing feeling of being a hated outsider in my own country are heavily intertwined. But... I doubt my writing abilities to tell you everything in one post. Maybe next time. I’ll mention those situations briefly, just keep in mind that... well, it was all happening at the same time.

So.

“She was a shy girl, whimsy and timid, a kind that usually becomes some sort of an artist. Five years might be not the best age to learn about death, but this realization came to her quite early. We all gonna die, she realizied, and nothing will stop it. She cried and ran to the kitchen to her mom, looking for comfort, but mom couldn’t say anything to console her. “It happens in many years!”, she tried to tell her crying daughter. She wasn’t expecting this conversation so soon”

I don’t know how others get this awarness of their own mortality. I simply haven’t asked, actually. I got mine after watching Conan the Barbarian and The Fifth Element movies. Oh, and add Princess Mononoke to this soup. And many 80s and 90s scince fiction and action movies, that were by far not kid-friendly! Yeah... my mom admits she and my dad were stupid to show me these movies before elementary school, but now I can tell young gen-Ziers that in my time we were much tougher kids!.. Well, come on, don’t give away all the credits to Don Bluth, a Grand Child Traumatizer, an old Total Recall was a blast! :D

My mom also thinks that there were too many familiar people who died through my forming years, both relatives and friends. I don’t know, maybe she is right. My grandpa was buried at the day of my 14th birthday, a year before two family friends died, a year after there were grand-grandma and three family friends, and many more...

14 years old. Yeah. I remember, it was a first time when I thought: “My dad will probably die because of a stroke. His face gets so red when he is screaming in anger”. 2008 year, hello, House M.D., teaching me new words.

“A girl was told by her dad that she had a happy childhood, a roof above her head, a food on her table and some money. Often told. Constantly told. It was true, but was there a need to repeat it? He needed to. He also told her he can clearly see she doesn’t value anything he gave her. That she doesn’t respect him. He demanded love. He believed there were all the ingredients for happiness. He was telling it but he rarely talked to her. They lived in one appartment yet she felt they were a little closer than strangers”

My dad was a complicated man to say the least. He was a large man with a strong physique, a wide chest yet narrow shoulders. His features were rounded: a round face, a big nose, plump lips, bushy eyebrows, even his black beard was making him feel rounder. My whole childhood I was told I was a female copy of him. He was a man leaving a grand impression about him, a succesful man, loved by his friends, relatives and wife... and strangely enough he was also an absent father.

For some reason I still can vividly remember his dark yellow teeth, black on the edges, and a brown tongue behind them. He drank a very strong black tea, 2 to 4 teabags at the same time in a large cup. The stains after such tea was impossible to wash away. Oh, and I just have to mention the amount of smoking he had. Pack after pack. Some fathers quit smoking when they get kids. My father was smoking even when I, being an infant, was sleeping near him in my mom’s embrace. I never smoked myself. Never ever.

The smell of cigarettes was everywhere. It was on the furniture, on my clothing, on my hair. The smell was so strong sometimes my teachers in school were asking if somebody recently smoked, although I was a whole day away from home. The smoke turned wallpapers in my dad’s room yellow; a lamp, a table, a computer and bookshelves had a very distinct greasy feel about them because of resin and dust. Maybe only whiskey and vodka bottles were cleaner. They were changing often.

My mom was worried about him. She called it “a path of self-destruction”.

And he still had a leg in those years.

It was 2011, I was still 16, soon turning 17, when I heard about the second type diabetes. I didn’t understand how it workes, but the most shocking news were: “They are going to amputate your father’s big toe”. Oh man, it’s so silly now how scared I was.

It’s just a toe.

What’s weird to me to remember that from this and several years later I was fixated on the topic of amputation. It was a repeating theme in my sketches... though it weren’t legs. It were hands. A crying mermaid with amputated hands. A cheerful alien with stumps instead of her arms, with clunky prosthesises made of thin metal tubes. A monster bleeding out with a chopped arm. Zombies falling apart. Decaying robots. A blood. A torn skin. Scars. Bare bones. And crying. Lots of crying characters. It was my weird way of coping.

So the doctors kept slicing his foot until there were no toes on it.

I thought he was powerful. I thought he could hurt me, though not physically. He never beated me, no. Though I was so stressed I believed my scared mom, that he could kicked us out of the house.

Bones in my dad’s foot were destructing, because he was refusing to change his lifestyle, even at cost of his own health.

I was 19. It still is a gentle age for a girl. I needed a feeling of safety... and yes, I had it at home. While also being afraid of my dad’s rage, if he knew about my sexuality.

Even if he was already in a wheelchair without a leg.

And then the coup in 2014 happened. I lived several districts away from it. For me it was one of the most traumatising events. It was brutal. I was afraid I could be killed just while walking with my dog. The world I’ve lived before was burning alive in front of my eyes. People were drunk of inpunishability. A feeling of safety was lost for many years.

The only thing in her terrified words might be true that he could turn our lives into emotional torture. Oh, he was very good at making you feel like a trash. Like the lowest of the low. Like a pathetic piece of a garbage.

My father was afraid of death and uncertainty. Numbing himself with alcohol he was able to push through those fears and take care of me and my mom. The truth is... he was a weak man, too. Instead of trying to discipline himself so diabetes would stop devouring his body, the bloodvessels in his brain, his eyes, his legs, his kidneys, my father just... stayed on the path of self-destruction.

No cries would convince him to change so he could stay longer with his loving family.

No foul wound would stop him.

I was 21. I remember that night, when he returned from the hospital. He seriously was at the death’s door. Before his return I’ve cried for several hours feeling guilt that I was angry at him, being horrified that I might loose him. When he returned, I thought about all the inspirational movies I’ve watched, you know, that kind: “After near death experience our protagonist will find a will power to change his life!”. I loved such kind of movies.

I wanted them to be truth.

I’ve heard my mom starting to weep when she walked out of my dad’s room, yellow of nicotine. I walked into his room and saw him... smoking and pouring a glass. He wanted to relax. As if nothing has happened. As if me and my mom hadn’t cried our eyes out for him.

It was the first time I’ve screamed at him in rage. I was afraid of my dad for those last years, I was always meek and passive around him because he would easily suppres me. But I was enraged at that moment. How dare he smoke after everything. How dare he drink after what doctors told us: “You can start mourning”, because his kidneys were clearly failing. And he was surprised, of course. He started laughing at me. “Look at you! You can be like that?”. I remember his dark yellow teeth glistening in the light of a table lamp. He was laughing in self-defense.

“Hey, look at her!” - he called my mom, rolling his wheelchair to the bathroom door. He kept laughing, almost hysterically, as we both could clearly hear my mom hopelessly crying in the shower.

I felt so much disdain, and anger, and sadness, but most of all - the horror of understanding. Dad was still laughing. My outburst had no other way to leave my chest but to shout at the top of my lungs right in my father’s face: “I wish you would die already!”

He stopped laughing.

I ran to the kitchen and burst into tears sitting on the floor, as that new realization weakened my knees.

There was no hope.

It was not an inspirational movie. It was not a fairytale. It was not a story about taking control over your life and trying to save it.

It was a story about unstoppable relentless self-destruction. No matter how many bones would crumble, how much flesh would be cut away, how further blind he would become.

It was despair. Soul-crushing despair. In the chaotic world after the coup, during the civil war, where it still felt safer beside my half-blind father with no leg on the wheelchair, than far from him... there were no hope that he would live long enough to even see me graduating from university.

About two more times he was also near death. Diabetes killed his kidneys.

“There once was a boy in a body of a big grown man. Both of his parents died of cancer. His lighthearted yet timid father faded away, turned into a skeleton covered with skin. His narcissistic mother, who looked like a giant jellyfish on her deathbed, died right after her son scolded her for tormenting a nurse. The boy was so lonely and sad no one around him could bring him comfort. Even the sight of sauce that his mother cooked him in the past could brought him into tears. It reminded him how harsh he was with her right before she died. He didn’t say goodbye. Or that he loved her”

I haven’t told my father a proper goodbye either.

I was abroad trying to date a girl that was clearly not a good match for me. I was looking for comfort and haven’t find any. My mother hasn’t told me anything before I returned home. She thought I was happy and didn’t wanted to ruin that trip for me. For several days she was forcing a smile for me during videocalls.

It was cerebral edema. He died at night, delirious and screaming, shouting us to run away, so the infamous nazi gang from my country wouldn’t catch us. She told me when I’ve returned home and at first I haven’t any words to say or any tears to cry.

The 6th January of 2017 was the date of his death.

He kept slowly dying over the next couple of years.

People were confused how I could be so stoic at the funeral. I don’t know myself. I just felt hollow. My mom though was falling apart, overventilating as she tried not to cry while seeing her husband in the coffin. She asked my cousin to slap her across the face so she would no lose consciousness - and yeap, it was me who slaped her, as my cousin was too shocked by such request. I felt that me being calm and stable helped my mom more than anything. I supported her. I gave her comfort. The world was crushing for her without him.

While I was thinking... that, strangely enough, my world continued to exist.

I’ve cried for my father’s death several times, but the death itself wasn’t happening. And when it finally happened, there were not many tears left. Though I still feel the ache in my heart for him. He was so lonely. He had such a big responsibility on his shoulders, he continued to work even in the hospital bed so he could provide us. He tried to protect us from the evil of the world around us even at his last moments.

I respect it tremendously, dad.

I’ve looked into my old drawings I have on my PC. My gosh. So many crying people. I haven’t realized before, how many tears were shed without actual tears, but through my artwork.

It’s such a pity we couldn’t became closer.

Eh.

It’s been six years.

I suppose I can say I’m no longer a person I used to be. I hope so. I was such a coward.

It’s 3 am on my clock, I’ve been writing for five hours in one sit, gosh darn it. Perhaps I really needed it.

And I feel better.

Despite everything happened between us, I still love you.

#my writing #writeblr #writing #family drama #diabetes #amputation #death #father's death #sad memories #writers on tumblr #pencil #pencil sketch #drawing #pencil drawing #my post #my art #arainmorn's art

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that-banana-headed-bovine · 2 years

Note

GIVE ME YOUR HEADCANONS FOR YOUR FAVORITE BOY. BEST BOY. KARR!

holy crap. the universe does not want me to make this post I SWEAR.

I was having difficulties answering one of the segments of the format you were asking for, so I shelfed it for a bit to think on it. I never came to a conclusion HASODH-

I scrolled thru asks and saw this. Holy moly you have been waiting for so long, if you are still here I would just like to say that I am so sorry for that like. I really meant to get to this sooner--

Well, if the wait has been this long, I had better make my response worth it right. So I’d better get the text format.

wait where is it.

I scrolled through old posts and old asks for like 20 minutes to find the format.

I did not find the format

I typed up a long intro explaining this whole situation, and got started writing the ask

THE PAGE REFRESHED.

TUMBLR AUTOSAVED NONE OF IT.

I also thought I lost THIS draft for a second and nearly screamed. luckily I did not I was just on the wrong blog

this is try number. across all of the times I’ve touched it I don’t actually know. Time two today tho.

Anyway AHSOD I am so sorry for the long wait AND that I will not be using the original format because it has Disappeared. If I do eventually find it, I’ll probably revisit this with anything I missed, but for now I will just be doing my best with what I remember and adding some other nonsense Just Because. I hope this is good asdioh-

Headcanons about Canon and not AUs for once in my life

You know how in TDR, they have that really zoomed out shot at the end of the chase before Karr careens off a cliff where they do a bit of an Oopsie. That oopsie being “there is a very clear way out of this situation. that way is turning left instead of right.”

And you know how in KvK, Karr’s self preservation programming is basically thrown out the window? So that they could throw model cars at each other or sumn I’m not being sarcastic there’s actually a few split seconds where you can see them throwing model cars at each other it’s so freaking funny I highly recommend going back and looking for it if you didn’t see it, it’s like behind the explosion I think, idk the exact timing bc it’s been a while but Yeah

Well. The IRL explanation for these things is almost definitely “because it looks cool”, and I’m definitely making way more of it than there is, but behold. I have basically informed my opinion on Karr’s personality (behind the whole scared for his life thing) from these things. Because, as a hyper-intelligent AI, he really shouldn’t be able to make these sort of “dumb” mistakes, right?

The best I’ve got, then, is that he’s a LOT more influenced by emotions than Kitt is. I don’t know whether I’d go as far as to say that he experiences them MORE, because Kitt clearly does have them... I think he’s just more cautious by nature, so he doesn’t really let himself act on them much. Karr, though? He’s impulsive, and easily swayed off course by panic, anger, sadness, etc. That’s why, despite being just as smart as Kitt is, he often makes far less rational decisions.

He drove off a cliff because he was so scared that he just acted on impulse without doing any of the AI rationalizing stuff we’re used to seeing from Kitt. If he’d have cleared his mind enough to scan ahead and process the routes as he drove, he would have made a different decision. That’s Kitt’s biggest advantage in their fights, and it would be his greatest contribution if the two were ever to team up; both of them can smash things, but only one of them can work properly under pressure.

Even down to his programming--code can be changed, so it’s not the law that we often think of it as. It’s just a very, VERY strong suggestion. Kitt has never tried to change it; he’s never even CONSIDERED it. Karr, though? He reached his breaking point. The thought of continuing to live his life on the run, unable to trust anyone or stay anywhere, was enough to drive him crazy. He COULDN’T bring himself to continue with FLAG--and specifically Michael and Kitt--constantly on his tail. So, he snapped and overrode his very foundation. He’d either get rid of them or die trying.

That’s probably the core of why Devon was so scared of him, without providing much of a concrete reason. Because Karr’s unpredictable, far closer to human than they’d ever expected him to be. Even when he was on their side, they didn’t think they could trust him not to change his mind, or make a snap decision that endangered everyone involved. I think he could have gotten control of it over time, but it definitely makes more sense that they wouldn’t want to work with him in this state. Their response to it is still immoral imo, but if they didn’t fully realize his sentience and just saw it as a programming fluke, then I could see where it seemed necessary. Especially if an accident like that had already happened... Not gonna elaborate on that here; I’ve made a post about it, and tbh I probably shouldn’t have because it wasn’t my idea in the slightest. It’s just such a good headcanon that I basically adopted it immediately AHSIDO (Yes I did credit the fren in the original post, but it still just wasn’t the ideal way to go about it tbh, that’s why I’m not linking either. If you really wanna scroll for it, it is still there so go for it ig best of luck to ye IASHDOHSA, but otherwise it’s really not mine to tell)

Headcanons that are so extremely Not Canon / for AUs

While the Karr that is in canon hasn’t had much time to be in the world, and thus is far less worldly than Kitt is, I would think that it would come much more naturally to him than his brother if given the chance. I mean heck, he developed a whole salesman personality underwater sooo /lh That probably means that he also does that copying thing really well, too. Like, how Kitt picked up on the Trucker jargon that one time and got excited and parroted it for a bit... it happens pretty often, but that’s the clearest example I’ve got right now oops. Anyway, I think Karr does that, too, but incorporates it in a somewhat more stealthy way. Because if he messed up people will be Trying to Murder Him Again.

All I’m saying is. One of them might have a chance of understanding meme culture and that one sure as heck isn’t Kitt.

Like, I actually think that Karr and Michael would have... shockingly similar personalities if Karr actually got to understand the world and himself better? If they’d stop hating each other for a second, I think they’d get along really well. Both loyalty driven, both impulsive due to emotionality, both sometimes make dumb decision because they just care too much... bothwouldprobablydieforKitteventhoughhedhateit oops what’s that my brothers bias showing????

Anyway, how this applies in Human!AU is that Karr can blend into human life really well. Like, he’s just as curious and unsure as Kitt is, but he quickly picks up on the basic behaviors that people around him are routinely using and integrates them so as not to stick out. And then, as time goes on, he just would kind of figure out what it all means himself, to the point where he’s reverse engineered how to be human with quite good accuracy. Whereas Kitt is always very curious and is quite open about it, because why wouldn’t he be y’know he’s not used to hiding, so he’d probably stand out a lot more at first if he didn’t have Michael there to do most of the talking and explain things for him. Idk if that makes any sense but yeah. I just love the thought of Karr actually being the knowledgeable older sibling because he’s had much more time to adjust to his new form, and like he actually has a whole life of his own going on that he’s basically just disappeared into until Michael and Kitt show up. Kitt asks him stuff, and he almost always has an answer. On occasion, those answers are confidently incorrect. But he’s trying OAHSDOIHSA

Also Karr and Michael bickering about basically everything, things that don’t matter in the slightest, while Kitt’s just standing there making sure it doesn’t go too far. The second it starts going south “Why does it matter anyway?” and everyone’s just dead silent. It didn’t matter they just had a bad case of the Himbos.

Like, it’s pretty easy to forget that Karr’s an AI after you’ve been talking to him for a while. But then you ask him something when he’s not worked up about anything, and he provides this Giggachad Massive Brain response and it’s like “oh YEAH”

Love Language

BECAUSE WHY NOT

Actually tho, I genuinely think love language is so important to his character specifically. You can take it as romantic if you want, that’s not how I personally mean it in this case tho. I mean how he addresses the people that he cares about, no matter what the nature of it is.

See, a lot of the (in my mind) misunderstandings about his character stem from how he acted whenever he got a new pilot. Like, with Tony and Rev, it could be easy to think that he was being walked all over by them and that he was entirely aimless. It would also be easy to think that, no, he did have a motivation, because he wanted to steal things + kidnap people. Same with John to a lesser extent, because John never told him to do the bad things, just also didn’t really try to get him to do good things either. So surely Karr chose to do bad because he really, really just wanted to?

But I think that, while it doesn’t excuse his bad decisions (ESPECIALLY not the ones that put people’s lives in danger), a lot of it can be explained by love language. Karr, simply put, has the Acts of Service love language.

The reason Karr let Tony and Rev direct him however they wished is because, after they inadvertently rescued him from deactivation, he felt indebted and was genuinely grateful. He showed it by DOING whatever they asked of him. And all he hoped was that they would get him help in exchange, which they did in about the most awful way possible but yeah.

And then John came along, and Karr is DESPERATELY trying to do the same thing... John never asks for his help with, anything really, but Karr is proactively trying to get him to ask for something. Doesn’t matter what, he’ll do it. It becomes increasingly frustrating when his acts of service aren’t seen as good enough, when he technically had what he needed but was still sorely lacking a friend. And then he started going to truly awful extremes to show through ACTION that he was a loyal friend, that whether John thought he needed a companion or not, he’d be there, he PROMISED.

He also, to a somewhat lesser extent, takes action against those who have wronged him, as if to say “I’m done caring, and I’ll SHOW you how”, y’know? A lot of it was out of self defense, but still important to mention ig.

You could say that this is due to the nature of them being AIs right, like built to provide a service from the beginning so I’m SURE they do feel that way yea. However, I honestly feel like Kitt would express care through basically anything other than that. Like, acts of service are the bare minimum, he’d do THAT for anybody because he was made for it. If he goes out of his way to spend time with you, though--or in an human!AU, if he leans into a hug--then he really does care. So, I really am not just defaulting to this. I think Karr specifically thinks of it as more than his obligation, it’s his great joy to show how much he cares.

I think there were more things, but also this post is so long already what IOASHDOSAD- I’m also . kinda sleepy so I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense oo f- And I hope that it’s worth the wait aa ahhh

#knight rider #knight rider 1982 #karr #k.a.r.r.#headcanon #ramblings and nonsense

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