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yurislotusgarden · 5 months

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TEACHER/PROFESSOR!DAZAI HC'S

ʚїɞ There are hc's just about teacher Dazai but also some including reader so-

ʚїɞ Dazai x reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 845

ʚїɞ My current ongoing Christmas event

ʚїɞ Part 2

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just some regular fluff and stuff

ཐིཋྀ The teacher that all students love

ཐིཋྀ Whatever he would be teaching, no one would mind the subject because he manages to make anything interesting

ཐིཋྀ Speaking of, depending on what institute he teaches at, his subject would differ

ཐིཋྀ If he was in middle/high school he would probably be an English teacher (yes he would be the one to tell the class to read books in English but no one would complain because he’d choose interesting ones)

ཐིཋྀ I feel like he would be a professor at a university more though, he’s giving the vibes of a literature teacher, I would say (still could be the English professor ngl but I think only if there was no free spot for a literature one)

(Yes I know many people who write teacher!Dazai make him a literature prof but it just fits this man)

ཐིཋྀ Let's go with the university professor because I have more ideas for that

ཐིཋྀ There’s only 2 options for cheating

ཐིཋྀ There's absolutely no way you're cheating in his class if he doesn’t let you, probably will allow it ONLY if he likes you though💀

ཐིཋྀ Or he would be one of the teachers who would turn a blind eye to it if he sees that you need a better grade at the moment (if you're cheating while having good grades then that's a no-no)

ཐིཋྀ I picture him wearing black gloves, but I'm blaming it on the Beast novel where he has them

ཐིཋྀ Fucker almost never sits in the actual chair when one would expect him to do it (like when students are writing a test)

ཐིཋྀ He just straight up sits on the edge of his desk or on top and does his stuff in silence

ཐིཋྀ While teaching he either sits on the edge of the desk or walks around a little

ཐིཋྀ Cracks jokes all the time and people always laugh at them or at least smile because he knows when to say them and what kind fits the moment

ཐིཋྀ His students would accidentally find out that he has a drawer with sweets (he sometimes uses it for bribery, for example ‘you turn your work in on time = a candy for you’ when he assigns a hard project, it works)

ཐིཋྀ If Chuuya teaches at the same place then no one is escaping their bickering, the students actually made a bet on how long it would take before Chuuya hits Dazai for one of his insults

ཐིཋྀ There was also another bet that came about after the previous one

ཐིཋྀ At first, students were curious if Dazai was taken because 'how would someone like that not be in a relationship guys, he has to!'

ཐིཋྀ Little did they know some other professor heard it and told Dazai about it so he gave subtle hints but not clear enough, confusing people even more

ཐིཋྀ Going back to the gloves part, he once had to take them off because ‘they got dirty’ right before a break, revealing a ring on his left hand, causing the class at the time to erupt in chaos

ཐིཋྀ “Oh, I forgot to tell you all that I'm married? My bad, guys!” -he said right before he slipped out of the class for his lunch break

ཐིཋྀ The whole school knew he was married the very same day

ཐིཋྀ Then came the other bet, ‘Who is he married to?’

ཐིཋྀ Some students proposed other professors, others said that it could be someone whom they had never seen, and someone else thought it might be a joke from Dazai's side because he found out about the previous bet

ཐིཋྀ They knew it was real when Chuuya of all people confirmed it

“Sir I have a question, it's unrelated to the lesson though”

“Don't worry about it, what is the question?”

“Is it true that Professor Dazai is married?”

“Yeah, why?”

“HAH?!”

ཐིཋྀ Yeah he also confirmed it was someone they most likely hadn’t met as the brunet’s spouse works somewhere else/stays at home

ཐིཋྀ They would meet you because you either came to Dazai's classroom because mf forgot his lunch or a few of his students came to the room in the middle of a break, and you were there for some reason (in the 2nd option they probably asked you to come to class once so the class can meet you. They adore you either way)

ཐིཋྀ When it comes to you, Dazai is probably so goddamn soft that if any of his students saw him, they would think it's someone else trying to impersonate him

ཐིཋྀ You make him bentos and stuff and he never fails to eat them <3

ཐིཋྀ He appreciates it so goddamn much when you help him when he has a lot of stuff to grade at once because he procrastinated it

ཐིཋྀ It can be making sure he isn't dehydrated, doesn't forget to eat or sleep, or even help in grading anything

ཐིཋྀ Give him those forehead kisses after a long day, don't be shy, I dare you he’s so weak for them

ཐིཋྀ I recommend running your fingers through his hair while he's lying down on top of you or on your lap, he will melt

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

#yuri changing banners? nah #may write more hc's if ppl like this ngl #writing this bs was more easy than it should #blaming the brainrot #bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd #bsd x y/n #bsd x you #x reader #bungo stray dogs #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #school au

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lychniis · 2 months

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⚘ ― EVENFALL ! ( valentines day event ).

( # )ㅤ evenfallㅤ —ㅤ twilight ; dusk. the period or the light from the sky between full night and sunrise or between sunset and full night.

syn. a valentines day / white day event inspired by hozier lyrics ( and also seconding as my 1000 follower event i suppose XD ). feel free to drop by and select a prompt from the list below alongside a flower / genre. you could always opt for more flowers. however please note that minors are not allowed to request for / interact with nsfw works. please note that the maximum character limit is three.

this was more of a last minute bout of silliness, but i'd love to write some requests for you guys after supporting me and my bs for nearly two years now XD. so hey hey, my inbox is open to be raided! i'm currently taking this event for genshin impact and honkai star rail!

prompts. the prompts and flowers available are listed below. you can request a single prompt + one of more flowers of your choice! you could also add some additional suggestions if you'd like, say a setting or an au or a scenario! requests close by the 20th of febuary. i'll start posting on white day, march 14th.

daisy — fluff.

hyacinth — angst.

tulip — crack / humor.

orchid — smut.

i. ❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜

ii. ❛ no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her. ❜

iii. ❛ you knew who i was with every step that i ran to you. ❜

iv. ❛ some like to imagine. the dark caress of someone else. i guess any thrill will do. ❜

v. ❛ honey, when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes. i feel like a person for a moment of my life. ❜

vi. ❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

vii. ❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜

viii. ❛ know that i would gladly be the icarus to your certainty, oh my sunlight. ❜

ix. ❛ you don’t understand, you should never know, how easy you are to need. ❜

x. ❛ idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on his sword. ❜

xi. ❛ honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips. ❜

xii. ❛ i'm so full of love I could barely eat. ❜

xiii. ❛ honey you're familiar, like my mirror years ago. ❜

xiv. ❛ i know who i am when i’m alone. i’m something else when i see you. ❜

xv. ❛ there’s something tragic about you. ❜

xvi. ❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜

xvii. ❛ still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man’s beliefs. ❜

xviii. ❛ i’ve known the warmth of your doorways. through the cold, i’ll find my way back to you. ❜

xix. ❛ screaming the name of a foreigner's god, the purest expression of grief. ❜

xx. ❛ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted, but i’m singing like a bird about it now.

xxi. ❛ the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you. ❜

xxii. ❛ i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. ❜

xxiii. ❛ i have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me. ❜

xxiv. ❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜

xxv. ❛ i had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you. ❜

xxvi. ❛ it’s not my arms that will fail me, but this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❜

xxvii. ❛ i need you to run to me, run until you feel your lungs bleeding. ❜

xxviii. ❛ i will not ask where you came from. i will not ask and neither should you. ❜

xxix. ❛ be still, my foolish heart. don't ruin this on me. ❜

xxx. ❛ honey, i wanna race you to the table, if you hesitate, the getting is gone. ❜

( all the dialog prompts presented here are taken from songs by hozier. i own none of them. )

EVENT WORKSㅤ •ㅤ ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

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kastelixa · 4 months

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Instead of posting pointless callouts, use your brains.

tldr: some of yall need to learn what a fucking block button is

Genuinely what is so hard about pressing the block button? Like omg I promise no one cares about your fuckass callout posts or rants. Like some of these people are embarrassing as hell. If you get triggered by shit on the internet, it’s YOUR decision on wether or not you want to interact or block and move on with your life. Like brother, i’m not going to throw a fit and freak out over some post that just so happened to contain weird shit on it. You know what I do? I MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. Because I got better shit to worry about than some random ass fic on tumblr.

You like ddlg? Cool. Doesn’t hurt me or anyone, I don’t care. You like incest? Good for you! You like noncon? Okay! Like do y’all see how easy it is to just smile and nod? Trust, policing what people post and enjoy, is not going to change shit. It’s just annoying as fuck. People pick and choose, because some of the shit you all consume wouldn’t be considered normal either, going by what you all say.

According to all of your logic, blood kinks, knife kinks, gun kinks, piss kinks, and etc. should not be normalized either. Murder shouldn’t be written about, especially gore. Which is fucking moronic, considering how RE is built on violence and gore. Please, learn how to separate fiction from reality.

Many people are fans of iconic slasher films and horror movies. Michael Myers is a rapist and a murderer. But guess what? No one CARES! Because he’s not REAL. I could go on with so much more examples, but you should get the point by now. Hopefully. Dark content is everywhere, why is it now that it’s weird? Makes no fucking sense.

I get that some of you don’t want your precious white boy’s image to be tainted or defamed or whatever, but trust, Leon Kennedy is not reading these fics nor would he care. ‘He’s not a rapist or into incest!’, well he also wouldn’t call you ‘sweetheart’ or whatever cheesy bs fluff fics contain nowadays. But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? It’s all OOC. We KNOW he’s not a horrible person or an incredibly affectionate lover, but people write whatever they want. And no one’s going to stop them! Not the posts clogging up the tags or the weird asks.

There’s so much more, but the main arguments that keep being repeated are ‘it’s weird’ and ‘if you write about it, you’re probably going to do it in real life’. That take is so fucking stupid I can’t help but laugh. Same bs as white moms claiming their son is going to shoot some place out just because he plays violent video games. The whole point? SEPARATE FICTION FROM REALITY. And if you don’t like something? IGNORE IT? Why are you willingly engaging like omg are you stupid or dumb.

OH AND. ‘kids could see this!’ When will you all learn that no matter what you do, you cannot control what a person sees or decides to interact with. Especially minors. I’m willing to bet half of a smut writers followers are minors. Guess what? People lie all the time, about their ages and whatever else. It’s the fucking internet, of course they do. It’s not the responsibility of the blog owner to take care of children. The most they could do is plaster a big fat MDNI on their blog, that’s it. It’s the job of the parents to control what their kid watches or consumes, and we can’t exactly help with that. So don’t pretend to gaf about minors like omg.

Anyways. I’m too lazy to continue writing like I just needed to say this because some of you are slow. Me and many others are going to continue to write whatever the fuck we want. In conclusion? Block if you don’t like it LMAO. I don’t care about what some rando has to say on the internet.

#🪼☆.thinking #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x y/n #leon s kennedy x you #dark content #some of yall r DUMB

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bluekittyworld · 1 month

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There is Karma.

Hello sweet people, this is my first time writing something, I hope you guys like it and all feedback will be appreciated.

Please don't post my work on other sites/platforms or copy it, or translate it, thank you.

Approx. 11,000 words in total and 5 chapters

Warnings: Lot's of angst, mention of suicide, smut, 18+

Main Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Happy Ending

Sad Ending

There is karma. It comes back, don’t use your heart in a bad way.

You were part of the popular girls at school, a rich spoiled brat as one may put it. Grade As and Bs were natural to you, you wondered sometimes if you had put in the effort, you could have scored better than all the nerds in your class, but who needed that, you were busy being the popular and pretty rich ‘it’ girl, belittling the quiet and less popular ones. There was one boy in particular, his name was Yunki or Yoonji, something like that. He wore thick framed glasses; his skin was ghostly pale, and he had contrasting pitch black hair in bowl cut. You found him an easy target as he never spoke back, no matter how many times you tripped him over, shoved him around, broke his ugly glasses, he never said anything back.

Why did you hate him so much? He didn’t care about anyone, and you hated it so much, why didn’t he try to fit in? He dressed so poorly, everyone just assumed that he was in this school on a scholarship, there was no way he could afford the fees by the way he dressed. On the other hand, you had to become mean to fit in, every day you woke up hours earlier to complete your work, prepare your hair and makeup, you had to stay relevant, have everyone’s attention, keep the ‘it girl’ title, life was so hard. So, every time you saw the careless Yoongi living his simple easy life, it boiled your blood and what ticked you off even more is that he never retaliated, come to think of it you had never heard his voice, was he mute?

This carried on for 5 years until the day of your graduation, just before graduation, you and your friends mocked this boy wearing his skinny ripped jeans, a t-shirt, and a plaid shirt. At the time your high-school boyfriend joined in too, you decided to give him a matching ripped shirt, pulling out your scissors you made a few cuts in his shirt and his bag, your friends laughed and recorded the scene. Your best friend took a few of his books, and teared them up, nobody noticed how Yoongi was having a panic attack and was on the verge of tears. Your boyfriend took the scissors and started cutting the poor boy’s hair, you did think it was pushing it too far, but nobody else seemed to care, why should you care right? Your boyfriend’s mates started kicking and punching Yoongi, he was now covered in blood and bruises, his eyes piecing into your soul, while he was being beaten up, his eyes were still fixated on you. You noticed this and felt a little bit of guilt, you pulled your boyfriend and asked to go to your favourite Korean BBQ. All your friends and his friends discarded Yoongi, leaving him in the middle of the school grounds, you didn’t even bother to look back if he was still breathing or not, nobody did.

On graduation day, Yoongi didn’t turn up, not like you really cared, you just wondered if he was okay, maybe you did go a little too far the other day. Also, it would have been a great opportunity to see his parents and assess his wealth today. Soon your friends and boyfriend came over to you, and that was the last time you thought of Yoongi.

Years had passed since graduation. You were well set into your father’s business, ready to take senior management positions, being born into an affluent family had its perks, your whole life was served on a silver platter, not a single day of difficulty. Life was monotonic and predictable you began to feel a growing sense of emptiness. Despite the success you achieved in your career and social life, there was an underlying dissatisfaction, a void you couldn't fill. A friend of yours suggested maybe participating in charity events may give you a sense of fulfilment, so you decided to join the next available event.

At this event, everyone was put into groups of 4, and the tasks varied, you were in a team with two boys and another girl. The aim was to visit the elderly and help them out with their chores for today. The drive to the house was quite quick, you didn’t really get to talk to your teammates, the only thing you knew were their names, Sora, Yeonjun and Yoongi. Yoongi rang a bell, but you couldn’t really remember if you ever knew a person with that name, maybe it was just a name of one of the many people you see every day at work, you brushed it off.

Upon arriving at the house, you saw it was occupied by an old lady, the roofing had some issues and the wallpaper had been peeling off in various places. Yoongi took lead of the team, he suggested “Yeonjun and I will take the duty of fixing the ceiling, while you girls can start by removing the wallpaper.”

His voice was like a gentle breeze on a calm summer day, carrying warmth and serenity, you hadn’t heard such a caring voice in a very long time, even your own mother didn’t sound so affectionate.

You just nodded, while Sora nudged you, maybe you were looking at Yoongi for too long, he was looking back at you with his piercing dark eyes.

“The wallpaper removing machine is in the back of the car, let’s go get it” Sora mentioned.

You nodded and followed her along. Removing the wallpaper wasn’t hard at all, you and Sora had bonded quite well, it was interesting to find out about her, you learnt she ran a café nearby and had a fiancé, her parents currently live in Japan, and she has a poodle dog named Bobbi. You loved this kind of interaction; it was like a breath of fresh air being away from your routine life and interacting with people who didn’t have money on their minds 24/7. You glanced over to Yoongi’s direction now and then… there was a certain attraction you developed towards him, but you turned away each time in disappointment, him and Yeonjun were really focused on getting the ceiling fixed and didn’t really have time for other things. You really wanted to talk to Yoongi more and find out about him, maybe you wouldn’t get another chance and that really bothered you.

You and Sora were done removing the wallpaper, and the ceiling was still being plastered. You suggested to Sora “We should paint this room before the old lady comes back, it shouldn’t take too long, what do you think?”

“Perfect” Sora chimed “Let’s go to the nearby DIY store and pick out a colour.”

Sora got up and walked over to Yeonjun, by the looks of it you assumed they knew each other well, maybe they volunteered together previously, she asked “Yeonjun, my dear cousin, can you drive us in your car to the DIY store?”

Oh, now it makes sense, they were cousins, you smiled at learning the fact, you somewhat wished you were close to your family members.

At the DIY store you and Sora decided on a dusty pink colour, it would contrast well with the plants the lady had in her house. Yeonjun waited in the car and you guys were soon back, he suggested to grab some food, and as if on cue your stomach rumbled.

“Yup, ____ is hungry, we should definitely get food” Sora giggled.

You just smiled in embarrassment. The three of you had decided to buy four portions of Jjajangmyeon, not forgetting Yoongi of course.

Meanwhile Yoongi had finished up the plastering, he looked at the clock, it was 3pm, the old lady did mention she would return at 6pm, there were 3 more hours to go, more than enough time for the plaster to dry and paint over. He smiled at the fact he was ahead of schedule and thought the lady will be so happy to see the finished results. Soon you, Sora and Yeonjun came back, you distributed the noodle bowls to each person.

“Thank you” Yoongi smiled, you swear he had winked too, you felt excited like a teenage girl. You blushed and proceeded to sit down to eat, it was a nice meal, mostly Yeonjun sharing his personal life and how he has crush on his neighbour.

Chapter 2

#yoongi #agust d #bts #suga #suga x reader #bts fanfic #bts reader #suga smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #agustd #suga fluff #yoongi fluff #suga fanfic #yoongi fanfic

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niinnyu · 7 months

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A little rant about leaks because I'm lowkey dreading them. And I'd appreciate it if you'd read it (and if not... 👁👁).

I find the jjk fandom's (though it's true for others too) reliance on leaks very off-putting. I know people want to look forward to something in the middle of the week and talk about it, but this just feels disrespectful, while also being at the cost of other people getting to enjoy it as they want to whether you care about getting spoiled or not.

So many people just don't tag leaks and spoilers properly (forget places where tagging doesn't even make a difference). Seeing things trending with the context of previous chapters explains everything. Not to mention people mis-tagging spoilers and leaks interchangeably (you can remove leak tags after the chapter is officially published but not spoiler tags!!) And no, you're not subtle with your 'out of context spoilers' to someone who has all previous context.

But what boggles my mind is why would you want someone to shout the punchline of a joke in your face before any of the setup has been done. You'll have a bunch of deepfried 2 pixel screenshot of screenshot quality manga panels of crucial moments with none of the build up and pacing. Paired with the most lacklustre explainations of what's happening (the phrasing of which can be biased to the leaker's opinions). Translating isn't easy. To convey what exactly something means from one language to another in an effective and in the intended way isn't easy (shoutout to fan translators tho y'all are amazing thank you for your time and effort)

And whether you care about the story or not, heck even if you think the mangaka themself doesn't care about it, it is just so disrespectful to the content that you're consuming. Making comics and manga isn't easy (churning them weakly is insane imo esp when a lot of mangaka aren't even full time artists) so why wouldn't you allow yourself to consume their story the way they've themself laid it out. Where one panel comes after the other. Where one expression has context in the next page. Where a dialogue has weight only when placed with another dialogue. Give the creator(s) this little grace too, because whether you like a story or not, there is still a huge amount of effort and skill, by multiple people, going into it.

And I personally love interacting with the fandoms I'm in, literally sometimes the only source of joy I have (yes ik leave me alone) is interacting with other fans and having my mind blown over their art and writing and theories. And I'd rather not be spoiled unless I'm myself seeking them out or just reading the actual chapter. So this involves me either spoiling it for myself before someone else does it, or spoiler dodging for 5 OUT OF 7 DAYS A WEEK EVERY WEEK.

I'm not even saying you should only look for official sources or whatever because I know not everyone has access to legal places to read (tho the shounen jump app is there for those interested, but yeah i get it for other publications), but there are better ways to read/hate-readyour fav/least fav manga out there without ruining it for someone else. The wait is juuust a couple of days more. There is absolutely no dearth of fan made content that can't help you last another few days, maybe your new fav fan creator is right around a little wait (ahem check my bs out if you'd like ahem ahem).

I just want to be able to interact with the fandom for more than just 2 days a week, and I don't like my accounts dying because i dissapear 5 days either, and is that a such a bad thing? I come online to have fun, not run an obstacle race y'know?

#i know nothing i've said hasn't been said by someone else but i felt like it too #i was lucky enough to be so down in the dumps the last week that i missed a lot of the leek stuff because i wasnt online much #still got spoiled tho mind you #and like i get it i feel like im making a bigger issue out of this than necessary #and ik for many peoplw its not that deep #but i do really believe this and I'd like you too see what i mean #anyway #jjk #fandom #fandoms #manga #damn this rant ended up being much longer than i intended #if you read through it thanks!#whether you agree or not i hope you at least get what i mean and what im sure many people feel #fandom rants #i do appreciate all the fan creators who do wait till the chapter drops to put out their content even when they've seen leaks tho!!#y'all rule #man ok.#no nickel for niinnyu's thoughts

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randoimago · 1 year

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May I please request headcanons for Yu, Naoto, Rise, and Kanji reacting to their female S/O coming home from work pissed off because she and numerous other coworkers got wrote up?

S/O Coming Home Pissed Due to Work

Fandom: Persona 4

Character(s): Kanji Tatsumi, Rise Kujikawa, Yu Narukami, Naoto Shirogane

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): Here you go!

Kanji

Wants to know everything when you show up pissed. What happened? Who started it? Does he need to yell at someone?

Maybe hold him back a bit just because Kanji would accidentally get you in more trouble because he wants to defend you.

Is more than happy to rant with you about how stupid it is that you got in trouble. Yeah it sucks others also gotten written up, but he's more focused on you.

Naoto

Wonders what happened and what your boss had claimed had happened in order to punish that many people.

Depending on company policy and wording, it might be easy to get your boss back for the annoyance they caused. Naoto would be glad to look into details and figure out how to dispute your write up.

She also gets that you probably want to be angry with what happened so she'll let you rant while she preps some tea and offers to start a bath or shower for you in case you want to relax.

Rise

Like Kanji, she's getting mad with you. How dare you get written up! Not just that, but a bunch of people got in trouble? That sounds like a load of BS to her!

Seriously mad with you and offers to take you out to eat or go shopping because you need some retail therapy or just do something to help relax over all that crap.

Rise knows where a few rage rooms are located so if you want to go to a rage room to get the anger out then she's down.

Does try to calm you down. You're absolutely valid in being mad, but you should also take some deep breaths and try to relax a bit.

Would also try to figure out all the details and hear about what exactly had happened.

There's no way your boss could get away with punishing so many people without some kind of loophole that you can exploit.

#sacredwarrior88 #persona 4 x reader #naoto shirogane x reader #rise kujikawa x reader #yu narukami x reader #kanji tatsumi x reader

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grumpycakes · 6 months

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SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE VOTE 2, DISASTER BOOGALOO CONT.

OCTOBER 18 2023 • DAY 2 VOTE 2 • 11:30am

< Previous (day 1)

McHenry, interim Speaker, doesn't slam the gavel so damn loud for once!!!!

They have the Chaplin lead the house in a prayer. And like, she seems lovely, the prayer was fine. But the fact that we have a CHAPLIN SAY PRAYER BEFORE THE HOUSE COMMENCES A VOTE. WHEN WE HAVE A WHOLE ASS RULE ABOUT SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE.

anyway

They are lead in the pledge of allegiance like goddamn children in US schools.

They do the WHO'S HERE, vote/buzz in to make sure they have a Quorum (aka enough ppl here to hold a legit vote of the majority of congress). There's a timer for the vote but it always runs out and sits at 0 for a few mins before they call it. It's strange.

433 are here, 212 Democrats, 221 Republicans, 217 votes for a majority, (Jordan can only lose 4 votes)

McHenry gives the SIDDOWN IT'S NOMINATING SPEECH TIME command. He had to call for the tellers like an annoyed teacher when the students they're calling aren't coming up. He is condescending and annoying to me.

SPEECHES

Mic Cole Republican Representative from Oklahoma

Talks about how he'd said the people who did this would cause chaos and uncertainty. And that he was proven right (loll you fucking said it dude)

He talks about how this garners finger pointing/blame/badmouthing between the aisle but that HE'S not going to (Very big of you, ur so good/s)

He's friends w Jim Jordan and goes into telling us how great and superspecialawesome Jordan is

When he mentions that Jordan has great personal integrity there are GROANS from the house. Damn

Says being the speaker takes a spine of steel (lolll idk if he's meaning this as a jab at McCarthy and spinelessness, but I love it)

Bullshit about Dems not helping out but that they shouldn't have to rely on them and that if you're a republican your choice should be easy (IT SHOULD, SO WHAT DOES THAT SAY)

Standard Republican BS on spending, border wall lies, racist dog whistles about illegal border crossing. Bad time all around

LOLL I realized Border Security is also BS so that's fitting

Says no one has done more for Border Security than Jordan ( first off, doubt it. Second that is NOT A GOOD THING)

Goes into Israel guilt trip

Says it's Israel's right to respond forcefully and gets a goddamn standing ovation (please stop glorifying war)

Calls on all Repub.s to use they're narrow majority to get them a speaker

CAN WE NOT UNITE CONGRESS ON HELPING A COUNTRY DO WAR????

Jim Aguilar Democratic Representative of California

Starts by saying he's here to nominate Hakeem Jeffries (bratty dems cheer about it lol)

Promises to make speeches shorter if this gets as ridonk as last time (can we start it now tho???)

Points out that Jim Jordan has had secret meetings and probably made back deals to get speakership

Points out that Jeffries has 212 votes, not technically a majority, but more than any Repub

Points out that Jordan denies the election of 2020, hasn't ever actually made legislation, or done like basic lawmaking shit

Warns of Jordan's extreme agenda of stripping abortion rights, gutting social security and medicaid/care, and his apparent willingness to not go after Jan 6 perps.

Calls out the Repubs for putting us through 15 days of chaos, and that 15 days is enough

Gets to boast about how united Dems are (very nana nana boo boo lol)

blahblahblah Jeffries, Dems get shit done standard shit

DEMOCRATS CHANT JEFFRIES FOR LIKE A MINUTE. Like I get it, but also ew

VOTING STARTS

NOTABLE VOTES

(key: * change in voting from yesterday | + same vote as yesterday)

Bacon - McCarthy + (Poor clerk has to pause to write McCarthy in)

Bilirakis - Actually votes today! Jordan *

Buchannon - Donalds * (OH he voted for Jordan yesterday!!! mmmmm two more and Jordan loses)

Buck - Emmer +

Chavez Deremer - McCarthy + (Lots of murmuring as I'm sure everyone is aware that Jordan has now lost)

Conolly - Says something about election deniers, votes for Jeffries, sounds like the Republicans didn't like it

D'Esposito - Zelden +

Diaz-Balart - Scalise +

Ellzey - Mike Garcia +

Ferguson - Scalise * (BRAND NEW DEFECTOR WEEWOOWEEWOO)

Garbarino - Zelden +

Gimenez - McCarthy +

Gonzalez (Tom) - Scalise +

Granger - Scalise +

James - Candance Miller of Michigan * (new suggestion, but he didn't vote for Jordan yesterday either)

Jeffries and Jordan get applause when they vote for themselves (rolls eyes into oblivion)

Kelly of PA - "Former Speaker of the house John Boehner" * (voted for Scalise Yesterday. Also that's how you spELL BAYNOR???)

Kiggans - McCarthy +

LaLota - Zelden +

LaMalfa - JORDAN * (Gets cheers for falling in line eugh)

Lawler - McCarthy +

Lee of NV - Jeffries but people cheered about it??? +

McCarthy - Jordan (Still gets applause about it but it's less than yesterday lololol)

Miller-Meeks - Granger * (NEW DEFECTOR WEEWOO)

Payne - MIA/Jeffries on recall but he gets claps about it??? +

Pelosi - Jeffries + (We... we don't gotta cheer for her every time do we???)

Rutherford - Scalise +

Scalise - Jordan (loll love that he's just like "I do not see it")

Simpson - Scalise +

Spartz - MIA/Actually Votes today on recall!! Jordan * (they clap about it)

Stauber - Westerman * (WHO THE FUCK?? New defector wee w-)

Tlaib - MIA/Votes Jeffries on recall +

Trone - MIA/Votes Jeffries on recall + (hey T Dems, get it together!!!)

VanOrden - Jordan + (HAS THAT ONE FAN CLAP FOR HIM ABOUT IT AGAIN. YEA JUST ONE DUDE)

Womack - Scalise +

McHenry calls them to order and then SHUSHES THEM, AGAIN LIKE AN ANNOYING TEACHER. YOU ARE GROSS AND CREEPY.

433 Present • 217 votes to win

199 votes for Jordan (OH SHIT U LOST GROUND)

212 votes Jeffries (Dems just gotta cheer about it like the petty assholes they are and deserve to be)

5 McCarthy (HA HA)

3 Lee Zelden

7 Scalise

1 Byron Donalds *

1 Mike Garcia

1 Candace Miller *

1 John Boehner *

1 Kay Granger *

1 Bruce Westerman *

(Some new names on there!)

No majority, no speaker has been chosen.

McHenry must be scarred from the back to back voting in Jan and AGAIN IMMEDIATELY calls the house into recess and the feeds cut.

IMPORTANT TAKEAWAYS/NEWS

As stated before NOTHING can happen EXCEPT to vote in a new Speaker without a Speaker appointed. And they're fast approaching the deadline for needing to have the budget done. So the Republicans basically have 2 choices.

1 Pick a different Nominee. Problem here is that there's enough far rights to stop the election of a Moderate/wiling to COMPROMISE AND WORK WITH OTHERS candidate. And there are enough moderates to stop the election of a super far right candidate.

Wee could be in a hellish limbo

2 Make a resolution w the help of Democrats to empower McHenry, Intnerim (Pro Tempur) Speaker, allowing him to oversee the budget shit and LET CONGRESS DO SOME GOVERNING.

Jordan got 4 votes to go to him he didn't have before, but LOST 5 VOTES at the same time. Jordan left everyone with the impression that he would be gaining votes. If he were a less power hungry fart, he'd step down, but he refuses.

Speaker of the house is 3rd in line to the presidency (so if Prez and Vice Prez get axed the Speaker becomes president). So it does make sense that some are fighting very hard to not vote in Jordan. However, trump and the MAGA bs has such a chokehold on the Republican base that the Moderate Republicans don't want to vote for a candidate not backed by trump. But like, what in the dystopian hell.

Jordan, to be taken seriously as a candidate, would have PREFERABLY won back votes. And while he kinda did, he kinda also lost one MORE than he gained. Amazing you failure party.

YES TECHNICALLY either 10 REPUBLICANS vote as present and let Jeffries get elected OR 5 DEMOCRATS vote themselves present adjusting the needed vote to 215 (which Jordan is still not getting). Again, Political Suicide, not going to happen.

Republicans were going to have a meeting at about 1 30PM EST.

A spokes person for Jordan said he's not STEPPING DOWN AND IS READY FOR A 3RD ROUND OF VOTING! (for the love)

Next vote to probably be held tomorrow about midday EST

Next Day 3 >

#speaker of the house vote #10/18/2023 #noon to 2pm EST #Speaker of the House Vote Recap #i never know if I'm giving too much or too little info...#US Politics

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demons-and-demigods · 30 days

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Demons and Demigods Part Five: Written Scene #3: Hercules

Alright, so this scene stars more hand-wavey transition bs than proper writing, but it's so short it doesn't warrant its own post. Now, as mentioned in my pinned post, I love me some dark!percy. This is where it begins. Justice for Zoë 😈

They reach the Mare Nostrum, the Mediterranean Sea, and the Pillars of Hercules.

The seven debate who should go talk to him, Jason and Piper insisting it should be them since Jason is a fellow son of Jupiter/Zeus and Piper has her charmspeak.

Percy says that he and Annabeth will be the ones to go but offers no reasoning as to why it should be them. When Leo asks for said reasoning, Percy just glares him down. Frank and Hazel agree that it should be Percy and Annabeth, and Leo, cowed, does too. Piper decides she really does Not want to deal with this nonsense and doesn’t actually care. So Percy and Annabeth end up going.

Percy torpedoes him and Annabeth through the water and deposits them on the beach.

And there he is, the Dickwad, the Douchebag, the Motherfucker himself: Hercules.

“Who are you?” Hercules demanded, crossing his arms and glaring at them as they stepped out of the water. Percy glared right back.

“My name is Annabeth. I’m a daughter of Athena. This is my boyfriend, Percy, a son of Poseidon.” Annabeth said, laying her hand on Percy’s arm to keep from flying at Hercules immediately. “We came to request passage to the Mare Nostrum.”

Hercules snorted and rolled his eyes. Percy bit back a snarl. Annabeth tightened her grip on Percy’s arm. She knew why Percy was so angry; he’d told her about Zoë and what Hercules had done to her, about his time with her on the quest to rescue Artemis. And she was angry too. Part of her wanted to let Percy at him right here and now, part of her wanted to join in. But she also knew that they should at least gain passage to the Mediterranean first before she let Percy unleash himself on Hercules. So she held him back and waited for the right moment.

“And just why should I let you through, hm?” Hercules said, sounding unbothered. Percy opened his mouth, no doubt with a smartass retort on the tip of his tongue, but Annabeth spoke first.

“The Earth Mother is waking. Her children, the Giants, congregate in Athens, preparing to raise her on the Feast of Fortuna. It’s unsafe to travel over land, so in order to stop her we must travel by sea. This is the fastest route to where we need to go.” Annabeth explained, even though she was sure that Hercules already knew what was going on, there was no way he couldn’t.

Hercules scoffed and shook his head. “I’m well aware of what Gaea and the Giants are up to. I asked why you think I should let you through. Not why you wanted me to.”

Alright. Annabeth was going to give him one last chance to do this the easy way. And then no more playing nice.

“Either you let us through, or we make you.” She let go of Percy and crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at the cocky son of Zeus. She felt Percy tense beside her and struggled to bite back a smirk.

Hercules just threw his head back and laughed. “I thought Athena’s spawn were supposed to be smart,” he said, leering at them. “Even with the sea brat, you can’t hope to ‘make’ me do anything. Maybe if you ask very, very nicely, I’ll send you two on a quest and consider letting you and your ship pass if you succeed.”

Annabeth sighed. She thought he’d say something like that. She looked at Percy and he met her gaze with a shark-like grin. Oh, this was going to be good.

Before Hercules could ask what was going on, Percy was on him.

It was sad, almost, how Hercules didn’t put up much of a fight.

Percy took them both to the ground, slamming his fists into Hercules’ not-so-smug face. Hercules threw him off with an angry roar and stood, stumbling, before Percy was on him again. Hercules threw a punch, but Percy ducked under his arm and buried a fist in his sternum.

Hercules doubled over, gasping, as his breath left him in a whoosh. Percy brought his knee up in a swift jab that broke the god’s nose with a resounding crack. Hercules howled and stumbled back, finally drawing his sword as he glared at the son of Poseidon.

“You’re going to regret that, you little brat,” he hissed.

Percy met his eyes with a feral grin as he uncapped Riptide, twirling his blade once, twice, at his side before brandishing it in front of him. Hercules’ eyes widened as recognition dawned. Percy’s grin grew sharper.

“Recognize it?” he taunted. “I’ll bet you do. I met her, you know. Zoë. I know what you did to her. Just before she died, she gave me her blessing to wield this sword, told me she was honored that I carried it.” Percy let out a low, menacing growl from the back of his throat that made even Annabeth’s hair stand on end. “And now, with this sword, Zoë will fight alongside me as I finally give her the revenge she deserved.”

Now, Hercules may have been good with a sword back when he was a demigod, but his time as a god had either dulled his skill or revealed that their standards for ‘good with a sword’ used to be very loose.

Hercules never stood a chance. Really, he hadn’t had much of one when it was just a fist fight, but as soon as he drew his sword, it was over.

It was clear to Annabeth that Percy was just playing with him, drawing out the fight to appease his own whims. Hercules, however, didn’t seem to realize this. Not that Annabeth could blame him for that, per say; he didn’t know Percy at all, let alone as well as she did. Also, he was never exactly portrayed to be the sharpest sword in the armory. So.

Still, Annabeth stood back and watched with a fond smile as her boyfriend goaded and tricked one of history’s greatest demigods into thinking he was winning their little fight. Now, she always found Percy attractive, but watching him fight never failed to make her go a little weak in the knees. Every movement was smooth and sure, his sword acting as an extension of him. His attacks graceful as they were deadly. He somehow managed to turn a bloody fight into a dance, each flawless move looked choreographed rather than spur of the moment. It was mesmerizing.

Percy twisted and turned, weaving in and around Hercules as he lured the god further down the beach, closer to the water. Percy swung his sword in a slow-moving, clumsy arc, easily parried and leaving an obvious opening for Hercules to attack his wide-open right side. Hercules took the bait, a triumphant grin spread across his face as he lunged forward. Annabeth almost laughed as he fell right into Percy’s trap.

Percy sidestepped Hercules’ rather uncoordinated swing, moving faster than he’d let on he was capable of up to that point, and brought his blade down in a swift, brutal strike.

Hercules’ sword hit the wet sand with a dull thud, his hand still wrapped around the hilt.

Hercules roared, dropping to his knees and cradling his weeping wrist to his chest. Golden ichor soaked into the sand and dripped off the edge of Percy’s sword as he brought the tip up under Hercules’ chin. The god glared up at him, lightning crackling just behind his eyes as thunder boomed despite the cloudless sky. Percy’s sharp, feral grin spread unnervingly wide as he leaned in close, meeting the god’s eyes unwaveringly.

“Pray that I never see you again,” Percy whispered, voice as deep and dark as any trench yawning along the ocean floor. The ruthless, savage rage of the storms of the open sea, relentless and unforgiving in their violence, swirled in his eyes. “Gods can’t die, but they can still feel pain.”

The waves crashed, roaring up the beach to slam against Percy’s back. He stood in the surf, unmoving against the water’s unrelenting force. The silence stretched as the two stared each other down. Annabeth waited patiently, curious as to what Hercules would do next.

“Now,” Percy said, the smile dropping from his lips. “I’m going to put my sword away, and you are going to let my friends and I pass through into the Mediterranean. Okay?” Percy raised an eyebrow.

Hercules said nothing, but he dropped his gaze to the sand.

“Good.” Percy grinned and nodded once, pulling out the pen cap, touching it the tip of his sword, and then returning Riptide to his pocket.

Annabeth walked over and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend’s waist from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder and kissing his cheek. “I love you, Seaweed Brain,” she said, lips still pressed against his skin. He hummed and leaned into her slightly, bringing a hand up to gently run his fingers through her hair.

“I love you, too, Wise Girl,” he muttered, and turned his head to capture her lips with his own in a soft kiss.

“Mm, good,” she hummed, pulling back to smile at him with hooded eyes. “Because you are never getting rid of me.”

He laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Now, take us back to the ship, would you?” she asked, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

Percy twisted in her hold until they were facing each other, then slipped his arms around her waist as she moved to clasp her hands behind his neck. He smiled, and fell backwards into the water as Annabeth laughed.

Moments later, a spout of water deposited them safely back on the deck of the Argo II. The others, who’d been lounging around the deck while they waited, all jumped when they appeared. Leo, who’d been in the splash zone, squawked indignantly when he got soaked during their entrance.

“Oops, sorry,” Percy grinned mischievously, not sounding very sorry at all, and dried Leo off with a flick of his wrist.

“What happened?” Hazel asked curiously. “Is he going to let us through?”

“Yeah, it looked like something was going down over there.” Piper hopped down from where she had been sitting on a crate and walked over.

Percy shrugged. “Eh, nothing to worry about. He didn’t want to let us through at first, but we came to an understanding.”

Frank whistled. “Nice. How’d you manage that?” he asked.

Jason squinted suspiciously at them for a moment before his eyes widened almost comically. “Dude, is that—is that ichor?” he asked incredulously and pointed.

Percy glanced down at his left hand, then stretched out the bottom of his shirt to inspect it before dropping his gaze to his pants leg. “Huh. Yeah.” he said and shrugged again.

“H-how did you get ichor on you? And why?” Leo asked nervously, taking a step back.

Once more, Percy just shrugged and waved a hand dismissively. “He's a dick. Broke his nose, that’s how it got on my knee. I also cut off his hand and I guess it splattered. It’s not a big deal, it’ll wash off.”

“YOU CUT OFF HIS HAND?” Jason screeched, all the color draining from his face and looking about to faint.

“Whoa, dude, do you need to sit down?” Percy asked, startled, and stepped forward, reaching out to steady Jason as he wobbled.

Hazel and Piper leaned in to get a closer look at the golden ichor splashed along his sword hand and shirt.

Frank wheezed like all the breath had been stolen from his lungs. “Percy, why the hell did you cut off his hand?” he said.

Percy gave him a confused look. “Because he’s a dick,” he said slowly.

“So you cut off his hand?” Leo cried.

“I mean, yeah? He deserved it. Honestly, he deserves worse if you ask me,” Percy said nonchalantly, and jumped when Leo let out a shriek and started muttering in rapid-fire Spanish. Jason squeaked and dropped to the deck, burying his face in his hands. Percy shot Annabeth a bewildered look.

At that, Annabeth finally lost it. She started laughing, which just confused Percy more and made the others look at her like she was crazy. She waved them off, clutching her stomach as she doubled over.

“Percy,” she gasped as she tried to get herself back under control. “Most demigods aren’t gonna choose to go toe-to-toe with a god just because they were being rude.” She rolled her eyes fondly at his baffled expression. “And they’re definitely not going to chop off their hand! Also, babe, most people think Hercules is like, the golden standard of heroes, the greatest demigod to ever live.” She shook her head as she laughed again. “You’re kinda the weird one here, Perce. I mean, one of your favorite hobbies is mouthing off to random gods, including the entire Olympian council. Shit, you’ve had beef with Ares since we were twelve, Seaweed Brain. That’s not normal demigod behavior.”

“Hey, the Ares shit is not my fault. He started it! He’s the immortal god of war, why the fuck did he decide to pick a fight with a twelve-year-old?” Percy huffed, crossing his arms. “He started it, and it’s not my fault that I finished it. If he didn’t want to get his shit rocked by a twiggy pre-teen, he shouldn't have picked a fight with one!”

Annabeth snorted. “I guess you have a point, but mine still stands. You’re the outlier, Percy. Not many demigods would turn down immortality to instead tell the gods to be better parents.”

The others’ heads whipped back and forth between Percy and Annabeth like they were watching a tennis match, all with gob smacked expressions on their faces.

“Okay, I’m pretty sure anyone would have done the same thing in my position,” Percy protested.

Annabeth shook her head. “History literally says otherwise. Also, back to the point, may I remind you that your thing against Hack-ules is personal? These guys are going off the impression that you and I went over there, Hercules was being a typical arrogant, egotistical god, and you just decided to cut off his hand.” Annabeth raised an eyebrow as Percy’s eyes widened in realization and his mouth formed a little ‘o.’

He turned to their friends and held his hands out placatingly. “Okay, so I definitely see why you guys were a little freaked out, now, but I promise my actions were justified. Annabeth is right, my beef with Dick-ules comes from some, uh, rather traumatic personal history that I kinda don’t wanna get into right now?” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and dropped his eyes to the deck. “If you want to know, just ask Annabeth, I guess. She knows the story. I’m just gonna, uh, yeah.” He gestured vaguely and turned to head below decks, then paused and faced them again. “Oh, and we should be good to sail through the Pillars, now. If we want to get moving,” he said quickly, and spun back around to disappear down the stairs.

Everyone watched him go then turned to stare at Annabeth with wide eyes. Annabeth laughed and shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m not doing this right now. Right now, I’m going to go kiss my boyfriend stupid because watching him beat the shit out of a god was really fucking hot.” She spun on her heel to follow Percy, waving over her shoulder.

She bounced down the stairs to the sound of Piper’s uproarious laughter and everyone else’s startled sputtering.

(She does, in fact, go kiss Percy stupid.)

#dndv #dndv scenes #demons and demigods verse #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #percy jackson #annabeth chase #hercules (pjo)#jason grace #piper mclean #leo valdez #hazel levesque #frank zhang #dark percy #dark percy jackson #zoe nightshade #mentioned #bc im love her and Percy should have been allowed to beat the shit out of hercules in her name #uh I think that's everything for this one. no spn boys sorry

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dontlookforme00 · 1 year

Text

Do you folks think I should write a morro fanfic

Reasoning: I love morro

Here's the main idea if it helps

Starts at where Wu tries to save Morro from the preeminent and he's about to do the whole "You can only save those who want to be saved, sensei"

Except Wu's hand slips for just a second and his legs go into the water and it hurts like fucking hell and he screams and realises how afraid he is to die and he's like 'sensei...help me' and its just the child part of him crying out

Parallels yk

Anyways Morro lowkey wanted to die mainly because he had no reason to live and also didn't wanna face the consequences of his actions

He's petty like that, we all know Morro

So he's like really sick, strangely, because ghosts can't get sick, but all his legs and some of his torso were destroyed by the water

Ofc they'll reappear but it takes all his ghostly energy and he's in like a feverish state

Wu is the only one who wants to forgive him / has already forgiven him

Kai is more aggressive than usual (hard to achieve ik) and he's like 'FUCK THE RULES MASTER HES WEAK KILL HIM NOW' meanwhile lloyd ":("

And Wu is like kai chill, nya chill, you guys,,,,

Then, after a bit, morro strengthens and all ninja negotiate ground rules with him (1. Don't possess lloyd 2. Dont annoy us or we will shower you 3. Listen to us)

Which, he immediately breaks, as you'll see

Morro tries to do something with one of the ninjas stuff and lloyd tries to stop him except he's kinda done with this ghosts bs so now he's regained confidence to be passive aggressive

This infuriates morro (angsty teenager)

Morro possesses him so lloyd will know he is still in charge and better than him because morro was feeling very jealous

Buuuttt because he's still weak lloyd forces him out and morro is like

"Fuck

I broke their only rule"

And as Lloyd begins to break down from the flashbacks morro fucking leaps off the bounty and begins to run because HE ALR KNOWS THE NINJA ARE COMING AFTER HIM

Cue morro panicking running blaming himself and overall wanted arc begins

The ninja begin to look for him after a few hours (pov switch)

And everyone especially kai are like OK SO WE GAVE THE BASTARD A CHANCE NOW HE DIES

And originally, they were going to help hide morro from the public bcos yk he was a villain but now they release the public statement that he is still alive and to be careful, report him, police need to kill him etc. War criminal etc etc.

Morro makes it to ninjago city after a few days and once realises he's like a public enemy and also pretty easy to see as a ghost

He's too weak to fight the ninja, his separation from the preeminent also weakened him

He's like tf do I do man

It's gonna rain soon so he needs to like rent a hotel get a job or find somewhere dry and safe to hide

But he needs a ✨️disguise ✨️

So he focuses all his energy on becoming tangible so he can wear clothes other than the ones he died in (my au my ghost rules ok)

After a while it takes all his energy and its painful af all the while the ninja are getting closer he's contemplating suicide atp

He collapses in some alleyway, flickering in and out of solidity

Until some kid, probably like 12 or 14 finds him

And I won't explain the whole thing but basically the kid, ofc, acts like a teen. Doesn't care if morro is wanted, lives in poverty, cares for morro which confuses him, and then the morro protects the kid from others

And they learn to rely on each other slowly because morro sees alot of himself in that kid yk

Anyways haven't figured out further than that

There probably only gonna be like 12 people reading this so heya

Also I have written the first chapter and posted it ;)))

#morro #ninjago morro #morro au #ninjago au #lloyd ninjago #thisisreallyjustinplaceformeremembertheplot #morro master of wind #morromyfave #angstylittlegreenman

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hussyknee · 5 days

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Does reading a lot of books "count" if they're all only popular light-read novels? As opposed to classics and literary fiction and whatever 600-page in-betweens are called. I can tear through all of Cat Sebastian (who's either hit or very, very miss for me) before I can pick up, like, Sharon Kay Penman, even though they're both popular historical novellists, because SKP's are about real historical figures and wars where a lot of horrible things happen to people. So of course my brain is convinced that SKP's novels "count" more than CS's, because it only counts if you have to struggle through an emotional morrass that makes you feel glad to live in climate collapse because at least nobody is sticking people's heads on spikes anymore.

This is also why I can only stand well back from literary fiction and poke it with a stick like I'm waiting for rats and snakes to jump out because, afaik, most of them are about people being sad and ruminating on the Human Condition. I don't get why I have to read about that, given I'm a sad person who's trapped in the Human Condition.

(I sometimes think the people that write these things are either so removed from the unwashed masses that they can look at them like a science experiment or five inches from offing themselves at all times. Presumably some of them are those mythical Normal People who have somehow emerged from the existential soup without any mental illnesses. Idk. How tf do you write fiction about real human pain that isn't even self-indulgent whump fic? I'm still trying to recover from having read Ninety-One Whiskey four years ago.)

You'd think the solution would be to just read some escapist fantasy, except the serious non-YA adjacent stuff that get submitted for Hugo awards (or Netflix and HBO adapations that shit all over the source material) are also about Bad Things Happening To People. I suppose this is better than white Christian manifest destiny bullshit like Lord of the Rings* where Bad Things Only Happened to Boromir, whose fans are the kind of people who think Gone With The Wind is a literary classic instead of Ku Klux Klan propaganda or people like me who are pathologically obsessed with conservative white bullshit**. And yet have I ever picked up NK Jemisin, who seems to be for all intents and purposes the queen of decolonial high fantasy? Of course not. Better to bear that media where Bad Things Only Happen To Imbibers Of This Racist Bullshit, than fly to others Where Bad Things Happen To The Characters that we know not of***.

It's really fucking hard to be extremely mentally ill and have OCD that won't let you DNF stuff that bores and distresses you and makes you think anything that lets you have safe, happy fun is just easy mode riffraff of no nutritional value.

***Still trying to figure out where Guy Gavriel Kay fits in. Without, you know, just reading the damn books.

**Tbh the reason conservative white bs is so appealing is because conservatives genuinely believe in the Just World theory. They rationalize the chaos of reality by assuming that the world used to make sense and work the way it should until Bad People happened to it, and it can be restored to its rightful glory if we can just root out all the shit that upended the old order. That's fascism in a nutshell and why its so deeply seductive even to people suffering under it.

*No, I'm not going to explain why LoTR is smuggling white supremacy. Y'all care more about defending the intentions of white men living in the fading era of the British empire than understanding how they could possibly have internalised white Christian supremacy that informs their writings about Fair, Enlightened Folk of the West yearning for a mythical past where they reigned supreme. Figure it out.

#actually ocd #hyperempathy #reading #books #high fantasy #fantasy #historical fiction #decolonization #knee of huss

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blairsanne · 11 months

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Hi bb! 💗 I'm curious to know who are your top 3 favourite Deano characters and why? (To watch or read or write or just look at 😉)

Ahh, what a nice question, bb! 💛💛💛 I always need to form an emotional connection with the characters, so... while Deano is always nice to look at, this is really based on the character themselves.

This was honestly kinda hard to answer.

1. Anders Johnson (The Almighty Johnsons)

This was probably an obvious answer, haha.

I love his sense of humour and desire to have fun. I love how cunning and cynical he can be, despite clearly having his own ethics and hopes for the future. I love how protective he is of his family/Dawn - especially when they don’t realize/appreciate it. I love when he’s confident and self-assured, but I also love when he’s vulnerable/we see his pain points (which all seem to revolve around his bros and Dawn? This is a man who loves certain people quite fiercely even if it’s not a romantic love and even if it's not always realized).

I interpret him as someone who has spent a lot of his life appeasing people to get by (whether his toxic childhood, or PR work in general, or Bragi powered interactions) but that desires to be more open with a few closer people. He both “trusts” them with his snarkier side and uses it as a shield to keep them from getting too close lest they hurt him with rejection. A bit of “well I don’t even like you anyway so there” at times, even tho it’s bs lol and only Axl ever seems to fully buy into it.

I feel like he needs some unconditional love in his life because it certainly didn’t happen with his parents, and it’s a bit touch and go at times with his bros. (Though Olaf seems very unconditional-grandpa-love? Maybe that’s why he and Olaf get on so easily.)

I think of him as a character that both represents aspects of myself and aspects I find attractive in others.

So in short, he’s my favourite because I think he’s very lovable and interesting and in need of love and he’s in a story where I love the concept and all the characters and it’s very easy to write him and imagine lots of scenarios for. 💛 (Also I find him very attractive in this role, even if he hated those absolutely magnificently tailored suits.)

2. Iolaus (Young Hercules)

Also probably not much of a shock, given he's the other Deano I have a sideblog for! This was the first role I actually saw Dean in, and I loved Iolaus so much back when this was on air, so it was wild to realize this was the same person who played Anders after I got into him haha.

Iolaus is once again a very funny, cunning, cocky character who has some insecurities that I find rather endearing. Iolaus is very charming to me, with his playfulness and heroics. I don't think the other characters see him as heroic necessarily, but he clearly cares about his friends and has many moments of being just as protective of others as Jason and Hercules. 💛

Also I'm always impressed that Iolaus seems to be able to keep up with Hercules; I don't know that he gets enough credit for that. He also should, by all rights, probably get with girls easier than he does since he's such a flirt. (He does have a bad habit of lying, though... Insecure bb.)

Basically I want to be in that world and give him all the love he deserves! I think it helps that I like the universe/world building/conceit of the show already, so I enjoy all the other characters and how they interact too.

Plus: Leather Pants? Those curls? Come on. 😩

3. Jon (Pork Pie)

This is where I got a little stumped. I also considered Barnaby and Will Johnson for third spot. Even as I write this I'm second-guessing my choice haha.

I really root for Jon. He's a fuck up, but he's trying to fix it. He's trying to make amends, and he gets caught up in a crazy situation, but he's so good-hearted. He means well, and you want him to succeed.

I love that he's a writer, but like, clearly not able to write because of what's been messing with his head (and then the shenanigans of the movie). His behaviours are just so funny at times, like how he orders his burger, his rapping along to the radio, etc. Even though I feel like Jon isn't funny in the sense of like, trying to be funny, he's really endearing and makes me laugh.

Mostly I think what I like about Jon is how "soft" he seems. Like, not in a weak way; he certainly powers through a lot of messed up situations and pulls off crazy things! But the motivation for all of it is this deep love he has, and I feel like he shows that love to his cohorts as well. He can be quite vulnerable at times, even when he seems to believe he will be rejected. The way he seems so touched by every kindness, his attempts to be supportive, and accepting...

I just really want to give this man a hug, haha.

Although I haven't formally written for him, I have a sequel to Pork Pie outlined in my WIPs that feels a bit daunting; both because of the plot I have in mind and because of how great the movie itself is. I feel like there's a lot to live up to, there, so we'll see if I ever end up writing it out haha.

Ahh thanks so much for this ask, bb! 💛💛💛💛

#course I still havent seen them all so this could change any time #ask #thanks for the ask!

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roxannepolice · 10 months

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7 & 18 for the choose violence ask meme? :D

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? Hate is a big word and it really doesn't make me happy to complain about Chibnall Who three times a day, but unfortunately the answer is Thirteen. Of course, it all kicked off with people being extermely fragile and pearl clutchy about how the Doctor being a woman will somehow change the very core of the character, but those takes were simply a block and filter flag for me, so it is easy to ignore them. But then the canon turned out to be what it was and, extremely controversial opinion, "just poorly written" isn't an excuse for a character only best possible reason to criticise them. Still, if we are just in the canon my attitude towards Thirteen is warm rather than cold! I'm absolutely not in any "not mah doctor" club, she's likeable and has some amazing moments (much as I hate TTC, her confrontation with Tecteun is genuinely good). But making her out to be the bestest regeneration evah, and her relationship with Yaz the hottest romance in the show's history, and you just have to abandon all of the (insert long adjective from critical theory of the day) ways of assessing fiction to appreciate how subtly ingenious the writing is, and her bs moral compass is actually heading somewhere (argument persisting even after she regenerated), and she's clearly thought from the beginning to be the Doctor that abandoned all hope (fun fact: her theme is based on Luke Skywalker's, as in having A New Hope written all over it), and if I, a cis woman, can't see how brilliant a character she is, then clearly I'm a class gender traitor - yeah, fandom really wants me to dislike her. And then one day I saw a set juxtaposing Ten sweettalking the Master in Eot with Thirteen's I aM sO MuCh mORe THan yOU that had a comment about how it's good we have a representation of "softer" male characters and "tougher" female ones and I just thought Huh. So you're telling me the core of the chacter did change along with gender?...

I should add, though: in the one piece of media that has Whittaker as Thirteen but no Chibnall that got released til now, the game Edge of Reality, she's really, really good! Just to be clear, the game itself is an absolute disaster gaming-wise, but the story is really something I want to consider a valid part of EU. It just... feels like the writers wrote it for any Doctor and tweaked it to fit in Thirteen's individual quirks, rather than starting from the quirks and then making a DW story out of them. And, since it also features Ten (whose ass you chase with the sonic. yes, I believe the Master was involved in the development), it answers the biggest question of all: yes, River would be very excited about her spouse being a woman now :3

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... CATMASTER!!! This isn't completely slept on, but there can never be enough Catmaster! Specifically the machnics of how the cheetah virus somehow stayed in their biodata and every Master after Ainley is literally a biological cat to some extent! And I guess I should finish the Chibnall negativity by praising bringing this up in canon again! The day the Doctor figures out they just need a laser pointer in the sonic can never come soon enough

#ask game #thank you this is fun!#sorry for taking sometime to answer but as i wrote i treat this a warm up for *serious* writng

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hxhhasmysoul · 7 months

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Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

These questions always have me like... do I know 10 of anything?

The order doesn't indicate anything, I will number them to keep track.

Gunnerkrigg Court by Tom Siddell- I could write that I love it because it has Coyote and end there because that'd be enough. But I also like so many of the characters Annie, Kat, Shadow and Robot, and Parley and Smit and like so so many of the characters. And most of all I love the world building and the story. God how amazingly it is set up.

Digger by Ursula Vernon- The black and white art style is stunning. The story and world building are just so so amazing. My inner anthropology enthusiast connects very deeply with this anthropology coded comic. And also it has Grim Eyes, and Ed and Shadow Child.

Blame! by Nihei Tsutomu - This is still the most beautiful comic I've seen. Idk what about it resonates with me so much but I regularly just like to open volumes at random and look at it. The concept is good too, don't get me wrong. And it's like a 10 vol manga that kinda has like 2 characters that matter and most pages don't have any dialogue or writing at all...

Every single piece of Kon Satoshi's - literally everything that man made is amazing. It's beautiful for one. But also everything he made was about perception of reality. About how reality is formed from the subjective human mind. How it is formed from imperfect memory and lack of full knowledge because it's impossible to have all the information. etc. He hasn't made much, his life was cut far too short. You can watch everything in a week and you should.

The Pillow Book by Sei Shounagon - This book is such a vibe. Shounagon can be subtle yet savage. It's a very easy read too, it's very relaxing. And you can just open it at random and read a bit and just enjoy its beauty.

Hunter x Hunter by Togashi Yoshihiro - It traumatised me, I haven't recovered since. It has permanently merged with my consciousness. It includes Gon and Killua and many other characters I love and very neat writing and a bs power system that's absolutely amazing.

Jujutsu Kaisen by Akutami Gege - It traumatised me, I haven't recovered since. It has permanently merged with my consciousness. It includes Yuuji and Kenjaku and some very neat writing and some frustrating writing and a bs power system that's absolutely amazing.

Parenthesis by Élodie Durand - It's one of the best uses of comic as a medium I've ever seen. The theme in itself is very much up my alley because it's about memory, and perception and the mind. But the way it uses comic... I don't think this story could've been told in any other medium, or if it was it just wouldn't be so much...

Mononoke (2007) by Toei Animation - Fuck me it's beautiful. I'm very not normal when it comes to textile art and it's like textile art but anime... And the stories are fucking amazing. It has a whole story about koudou the traditional art of incense ... There's nothing better than this.

The Duchess (2008) - It's a very entertaining fanfiction about the fascinating woman that was Georgiana Cavendish. Her biography is also a very good read but heavier, but also more nuanced. And Keira Knightley and Hayley Atwell are amazing in it. Plus the visuals...

___

I think I reached 10, yay. Honorable mentions to Berserk by Miura Kentaro - it's just beautiful; Avatar the Last Airbender - it still holds up after all this time; The Witcher aka what my teenage self loved (2 short stories books and the 4 volumes of the saga, the 5th book is so bad you should never read it); Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick - another fav of my teen self; Paradise Kiss by Ai Yazawa - it's about fashion and has fun characters just not George XD; Velvet Goldmine - the queerness and the fashion.

I'm 100% sure I'm forgetting a lot.

#i like comic books #and animation #mostly #about me #answering asks

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twilightknight17 · 5 months

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P5T Story Finale - Part 1

I'm just starting off with the assumption that this will have to be 2 parts, to fit all the pictures I took. XD

So, where we left off, I was doing pretty good.

We'd beaten Metal Marie, and Lavenza had some challenges for us to unlock our final skills. I was kind of hyped, because honestly, it seemed like a good opportunity to get everyone's ultimate personas back. And then Erina could just have whatever.

It was not second awakenings, despite the way they talked about it sounding very second-awakening-ish. Instead, we get a maximum power skill for each Thief's specific element. And, sorry everyone, but Joker's is the coolest.

I also think that it's worth mentioning that when you die, Lavenza quotes Paradise Lost at you.

She also quotes it at the very start of the game, so she's very well-read. Probably Margaret and Theodore's influence; I can't see Elizabeth sitting through a book like that. XDDD

Anyway, Lavenza's challenges were some very elaborate puzzle levels and endurance missions with gimmicks, but nothing that was completely unreasonable. The one where you had to kill everything in one turn by using one-mores and platforms to get Joker to the top of the level to trigger the widest-possible AOA range was awesome. I felt smart when I finished them, which was the important part.

And my reward, other than skills, was......

You have to be level 96 to fuse Satanael, tho, so like... holy fuck, Atlus. Booooooo. And he's got like seven components, which I'm pretty sure he did in P5, but you couldn't fuse him til NG+, so you at least would have had most of them by then. This is just taunting me. Plus, it's not nearly as easy to get money in this. You have to replay missions, and later missions give more money but also take longer, so it seems like it'll be a little tedious to complete the compendium.

ANYWAY.

Metal Yoshiki and Metal Shadow Toshiro went down next, and I'm pretty sure it confirmed that it wasn't actually Toshiro's shadow, just a piece of Salmael masquerading as it. I wasn't... super impressed with these fights? They were basically the same as the first go round, just with more health, more damage, and slightly different arenas. Metal Shadow Toshiro skipped his first round and went right to Giant Scary Eri, so... Yeah. They were fine, I guess.

I did notice something a little funny, though. The final Kingdom is "The Path to God" in the replay menu, and there are six missions (not counting the bosses), each with a letter appended to them.

All six in order spells "A S Y L U M".

If Salmael rules this Kingdom, is he the crazy one, then? :P

So, we are off to the final boss. My goblin kids are ready to beat the shit out of their third god in like... four months? Wow.

Slap him so hard he drops his head, Futaba!

I finally realized what this thing's appearance reminds me of. Some weird fusion of Yald, and the Queen from Deltarune.

He has the SMUGGEST VOICE of any god so far and it just makes me want to hit him harder. Maybe I should have done some grinding for Satanael after all.

He just wants to ~save humanity~, and I'd just like to mention how much I love my wife.

Salmael is totally cool with our disagreement, obviously.

Us? All by ourselves? You think so highly of us~

Salmael says that his actions are the consensus of humanity, so we should just give in. The game gives you an option here between "Our wills are firm" and "Send us back to the real world." Which, if you remember, he offered to send us all home without our powers or memories, so... put a pin in that. We'll be back. In THIS timeline, we tell God to fuck off, as is our wont.

I feel justified in writing Ryuji calling Yaldabaoth "Yald" in an actual fic, now. XD

Seriously, Atlus, one line of dialogue. "We've already beat up a 'god' who thought he knew what was best for us." Call Maruki on his BS.

Anyway, as always, these gods who want peace and happiness and order are willing to murder us. Ooohhhh nooo, I don't waaaaant to use force, you just leave me no chooooooiiiiiice~ Blarg. XD

The battlefield is wild, though. I'm always down for a good giant clock.

The five platforms rotate either forward or back based on a skill that warns you in advance. Platforms that go past the end positions sink into the green, and more arise on the other side to replace them.

So, we wallop the shit out of god while avoiding being tossed into a green abyss. I only lost Toshiro during this stage of the fight, so I still had my three primary fighters and three baton passes.

Salmael, upon being knocked down in round 1, throws a temper tantrum, and... well, I guess calling it "going one-winged-angel" isn't appropriate here. He's still got all his wings, just gets more raggedy and dirty.

But the important part is that he loses the mask and his face is FUCKED UP

He gets two new attacks for this round. The first one is a very Dark Hour-esque clock which leaves numbers on some of the platforms. That's how many people need to be standing on that particular platform to avoid triggering an attack that paralyzes you on your next turn.

Overall, challenging! Especially because the numbers don't rotate with the platforms, so if he does both skills at the same time, you've gotta make sure you're not gonna rotate away from the number you need. (Learned that the hard way.)

The second one is some kind of giant antenna that spawns in the middle of the arena, and you have like... three turns to AOA it before he does some horrible targeted missile barrage. I had the worst time with that. That's how I lost all three of my remaining squad in one turn, because I couldn't get the downed enemy to line up right to allow the AOA.

So we're down Ann, Morgana, and Akira. Welcome to the fight, Haru, Yusuke, and Ryuji!

Salmael's second form has about twice as much health as his first form, which can be mitigated by AOA-ing the antenna, because Futaba can then turn the missiles on him. I only managed that once. X'D But the game REALLY smacked me when it did the clock attack and the arena rotation on the same turn, and the clock was four platforms, each with a 1 on it. I didn't have Toshiro anymore. I couldn't put one person on each platform. So everyone got paralyzed, and the rotation was poised to dump both Haru and Yusuke into the abyss with no way to move them.

It was going to be up to Ryuji to win this fight alone.

...or, it would have been, but as I watched Yusuke sink into the green depths, I realized that... the platform just popped back up on the other side. Yusuke was fine. Didn't even do any damage. X'D I spent the whole fight thinking that if I got sucked down with a platform, that person would just die. But no.

In the end, Haru dealt the final blow, and Salmael took that really well. He just straight up starts taking a swing at us and throwing gears. So I guess we DID slap him so hard he dropped his head!

My baby boy gets to say more than one line of dialogue in this game!

This is the smile of a savior, everyone.

Honestly this last AOA cutscene is wild. I like it better than Scramble's, I think? I need to watch it again, but it's really well done. Halfway through, Erina gets squashed by a whole ton of gears and ends up... I'm assuming drifting in the Sea of Souls, and Toshiro calls her back so she can take her Ernesto form and blast the hell out of Salmael. And then she turns back into Erina and she and Akira slam a flag through Salmael's face. :3

Yeah, yeah. Same as every other monster.

Salmael takes defeat well, of course. By exploding.

And Toshiro catches a brief glimpse of the overwhelming existential dread that knowing about meta-space can cause: namely that humanity is constantly accidentally almost destroying itself.

I like to think that he gets a phone call from the Shadow Ops at some point. XDDDD

Anyway, with Salmael dead, his primary Kingdom is collapsing, so it's time to get the hell out of here. And with this, I have hit the image limit, so... Off we go. Part 2 is next!

#Li plays P5T #Me@the boss: you're not even the coolest of the four gods we've killed across two different timelines

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acourtofthought · 1 year

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I really wish the el/riels would just trust SJM and wait until she wraps the series, before making judgement of the possibility of Elucien and/or Gwynriel endgame. Like if you've made it this far and read her all her books, safe to say you enjoy her work. Not saying she is perfect, she has made some writing decisions I've questioned but nothing to warrant never wanting to pick up another book. I find her books to be some of my all time favorite, despite some of my criticism.

My biggest issue is when readers act as if THEY they are the author, or try and claim they have some insider news.... looking at the el/riel who for years now have been proven to be a lair, each time she claims she has some source, karma comes around, she deletes her post, like screenshots did not make their round. Sure, some of her "insider information" is the same educated guess the rest of us made, based on very easy accessible information. But otherwise, most of their claims have blown up in their face, like when she said Elriel was confirmed in HOSAB, umm, what a fucking lie - yet, her followers continue to believe her "trust me, I have an insider BS". And even aside from claiming to have a source, posting theories as factual and trying to dismiss the potentially for elucien, who are mates, or gwynriel, who were given a foundation of the start of a friendship, when we know SJM has built romance on a lot less (TOG PEOPLE) is choosing to be ignorant. I think they are setting themselves up to become anti's should SJM go the gwynriel and/or elucien route with how nasty they've been towards any other outcome. I literally had an elriel tell me SJM doesn't know what she is talking about in her interviews. Excuse me? You are telling me that the author, who created this world, these characters, doesn't know her own fucking story? Who the fuck are you to imply you know more than the author. I'm telling you, some elriels have lost their goddamn mind. Don't make such absurd claims and throw insults that could come around.

At the end of the day only SJM know's what all happen, yes, we can make assumptions based on our understanding of her writing, but until she confirms it, no one of can claim we are 100% right. until the book is out. If El/riel happens, I'm fine with it, I trust SJM will find a way to make it compelling, despite me rooting for Elucien since day one. I'm not naive enough to say with certainty my ship will be endgame, I can only HOPE and as a reader wish for it, but really it's up to SJM and what she decides to do, and I can only respect that if I wish to continue reading her books.

I fully agree with what you are saying and I wish more people grasped the concept.

Based on SJMs writing style and past couples, I think she is building toward an Elucien / Gwynriel endgame. It doesn't matter what has happened so far, who it looks like Elain and Az want, how many hints E/riels think there are hinting at an E/riel romance. None of that matters to me because they same thing can be said for other SJM pairings that did not end up being endgame.

Could I be wrong? Absolutely. Could she still decide to make E/riel endgame? Sure!

I still think Elucien is more likely but it's ridiculous to say that there is zero chance in the world that Elain will end up with anyone else.

E/riels don't think that though. They literally say we're idiots for thinking Elucien / Gwynriel is a possibility, that there is no chance SJM can find a way for a couple who had a rocky start to end up together (even though that's been the formula for every single one of her endgame couples), that we're misogynists for wanting Elain and Lucien to end up together (and on and on).

But why??? Elain and Az aren't together. She hasn't officially rejected her bond. We don't know if Az has an actual Mate and if he found her, what would he do. There are a million questions still surrounding Elain, Az, Lucien, etc, and as a result, hundreds of possible outcomes to the current scenario.

I get people like to hold tight to the "no team is better than our team!" and that's fine but saying, "no team can possibly win but our team!" is stupid. Seriously. I'm not trying to name call but acting like there is zero chance of Elucien and Gwynriel happening is stupid. There's obviously enough in the books to support people feeling these ships have a real shot. Elucien was so much a possibility that SJM imagined where they might go on vacation at one point. So calling us stupid is calling SJM herself stupid and that makes no sense at all considering she's the one who wrote the books and dropped all the hints making Elucien and Gwynriel as much a contender in the ship wars as E/riel is.

#anti e/riel #gwynriel #elucien

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seldomscilence16 · 6 months

Text

Whumptober day 28:

"We might not make it to the morning, so go on and tell me now."

Bloody knife | sacrifice | "You'll have to go through me."

Fandom: Voltron (El dorado Au)

Prompts used: All

Alright so, I have so much I want to do with this au, so this is short and does end on a vague cliff hanger (heheh). If you've watched the movie you can assume the end, however when I get around to writing this fully, it may be different to how you'd expect. This was intended however, to end up as a Klank story (is that right?), and while it's not present in this it will be in the full one.

TW for blood

…

El Dorado. The city of gold, gifted to mortals by the Gods over a thousand years ago. It was a legend to many, a myth to many more, a hope to some.

Keith and Hunk had differing views, before this whole journey began. Hunk had wanted something solid and tangible- Spain, or any of the civilizations they knew and had seen before their eyes. Keith had adventure in his eyes, a yearning to go and find and discover and MOVE. The map had given them something, a trail to blaze rather than an ocean of peril.

Their semi-stolen, rescuer to rescued, horse hadn't been completely swayed, but was loyal enough to stay with them- which Hunk took as a win. Especially when they found the natives- well they found them- were led to El Dorado, and decided to pretend to be Gods. And honestly, everything had been surprisingly fine!

Until Keith got fed up with Haggar's bs- which yeah fair, but come on!- and now they were… well here.

Confined to their temple- to bask or rest or pray, Hunk couldn't even recall- because tomorrow they had to prove their Godness again. The anniversary of El Dorado's creation and the day before they were set to leave, a big event with the Gods themselves present.

"You just had to upset Haggar!" Hunk is pacing, heart pounding and breaths short and mind racing.

"I didn't know she'd do… this!" He gestures vaguely to encompass their situation.

"Oh gee, the chick that speaks for the Gods that's been on our butts since we got here gets pissed off and talks about a big deal event to get said butts caught!? Wow so surprising!"

"Hunk, I'm sorry, okay! We can figure this out, so stop panicking!"

"Oh yeah let me just turn it off! We might not make it to the morning, so go on and tell me now, what brilliant plan do you have to get us out of here!?" Hunks worked himself up to full on panic.

"If you panic I'm gonna panic! I need your brain! Or else I'm gonna end up jumping off the stairs and hoping I fly!"

"Geez. The horse was right, you two are a mess."

"Lance!" The two turn to find their native guide standing just inside their back entrance, Shiro- their horse- behind him.

"How have you two made it this far?" He mumbles, looking over his shoulder to ensure he wasn't followed.

"This isn't a normal con!" Keith hisses, nerves still high strung, "If they find out we're lying, we're dead!"

"Only because Haggar has her claws in everything. The Chief doesn't like her or her ways, so all you have to do tomorrow is get him on your side and the people will follow."

"You make it sound so easy!" Hunk whines, though both men have calmed down.

Lance is quiet, and the two finally take notice of his own nervous energy.

"Lance? Is there something else we should know?" Keith ventures carefully, the two step closer, each reaching for a hand.

He allows the motion, squeezing gently as he offers up a smile, it falls short to the sunny ones he'd shared the past few days.

"Tomorrow, just… focus on getting out of it alive. You just have to make it through tomorrow then you can take your boat of gold and leave."

"And then WE can take OUR boat of gold and leave." Hunk corrects quickly, nerves growing again.

"Yeah, we have a plan." Keith agrees, intense stare directed at his tan face.

Lance doesn't meet their eyes, instead smiling wide enough for them to squeeze closed, giving their hands one more strong grip.

"Right. I have to go, tomorrow will be fine." Lance pulls away, turning quickly towards where he came.

"We'll all make it out of here Lance." Keith says it firmly, no room for doubt.

"We're in this together." Hunk concurs.

"Get some sleep you two, you'll need your strength tomorrow."

"My Lieges, once again, my apologies for yesterdays… difference of opinions." Haggar offers a smile, long fingers steepled before her, hood hiding her eyes from view. The smile is not comforting, its disconcerting and down right creepy.

"Right well, bigones." Keith waves the lackluster apology away, neutral face hiding how fast his heart is beating.

Hunk and Keith had barely slept, pressed side by side on the plush bed nest, dreading the day to come, trying to think of some feat they could fake. Shiro had been just as nervous, the armadillo that'd been following them around since they arrived curled up on his back as the two almost seemed to converse. To top it all off, they hadn't seen Lance since he left last night. They'd need another miracle to pull all this off.

"I have a gift, one that will hopefully please the Gods this time."

Keith looks ready to protest, to angrily tell her off once again about needless sacrifices, only for the very Earth to shake as a huge stone beast descends from Haggar's temple. The people scream, Hunk frozen beside Keith as they stare upon the crazy woman dwarfed by the glowing eyed creature behind her.

"I have had my eyes opened, the Gods command they do not want Sacrifices, it is because those will not do! The new age is upon us, and a mass cleanse is needed to please the Gods!"

"Quiznak." Keith mutters darkly.

"Unless of course, they wish to speak for themselves?" Her voice is a tad mocking, and the two realize she knows, their jig is up, and these people may very well pay for it.

"The Gods do not deal with petty mortals in their own realm, Haggar!" The voice comes from higher ground, they whip around to find Lance atop Shiro on one of the higher ledges of the city. "You will be judged in their realm and dealt punishment that you are past due for. So say the Gods!"

"What is he doing?" Hunk whispers aghastly.

"Xibalba." Keith utters back, "The whirlpool." He turns to Hunk and sees the realization dawn on his face.

They nod at each other, and turn as one towards the giant beast,

"Yes! Our brothers and sisters upon the higher realm shall judge you accordingly! You, the false prophet, shall not haunt these people any longer!" Hunks voice deepens dramatically as he speaks, false bravado the only thing keeping his panic at bay.

"We shall end this here!" Keith agrees, the people have mostly scattered, but those that haven't quickly follow coarse.

The beast roars, Haggar grinning far too brightly, as the chase begins.

They run through the winding paths of El Dorado, destination clear in their mind, trying to keep steady as every pounce behind them shakes the ground. They suppose they should be grateful Haggar hated them so, or else this chase would be meaningless. Now they simply had to hope this plan worked, lest this be the end of it all.

As the ledge finally comes into view, the area desolate, they slide to a stop.

"False Gods. Now everyone will know the truth of your divinity, and it will be you to be judged! I know what you are, and I know what you are not! And you are not Gods!"

Haggar and the beast block their exit, and they realize they may not have thought this through-

"You're not a God? You… lied to me?" Lance comes, seemingly, out of nowhere, eyeing them both with betrayal.

His eyes motion behind him-

"What? No, he lied to both of us!" Hunk jumps in, pointing at Keith.

"I did not! It was your plan!" Keith fires back, poking Hunks chest.

"You're the one who wanted gold first!"

"Well you're the one falling for your own con!"

"Well at least I didn’t drool at first sight!"

"Oh don't even! Low blow! You gooey eyed him too!"

"You guys said you were gonna ascend! I can't believe you lied to my people!"

They've steadily moved, argument turning physical as they get between the beast and Haggar who watches them with sick glee.

"This is all you're-" Hunk and Keith have a fist in each other's shirts, arms pulled back to sock eachother in the jaws, but before they can do a finishing move, the beast roars once more.

Haggar launches herself at them, knife pulled from some hidden fold of her robes, manic smile bright, only for it to fall as knife plunges into someone else.

Lance stands between them now, knife buried just below his belly button, but face set in a glare.

"You'll have to go through me."

The knife is yanked out- blood splattering across its surface and the stones below- an outraged yell combining with the creature's Earth rumbling bellow. As the beast lunges forward, Keith wraps an arm around Lance as he and Hunk jump to the sides, vine in hand. Haggar's scream echoes, as the ledge breaks off with the weight of the once stone statue, and disappears in the whirlpool below.

#whumptober 2023 #no.28 #“we might not make it to the morning so go on and tell me now.”#lyric #bloody knife #sacrifice #“you'll have to go through me!”#voltron legendary defender #fic #blood tw #angst #injuries #langst #au #klank ship #el dorado au #el dorado

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