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the-broken-pen · 3 months

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“You’re going to blow out your arms,” the villain observed. They watched as the hero merely grit their teeth, shoving themself through another pull-up. It looked painful, and if the sweat slicking the hero’s brow was any indication, it was.

They waited for the hero to let themself drop from the bar and accept the villain was stronger. But they didn’t.

Three more pull-ups, and the villain stepped in.

“Hero,” they said slowly. “You’re about to tear the ligaments in your arms. You need to stop.”

The hero blew out a shuddering breath. Struggled for purchase, fighting gravity—and let themself drop.

The hero’s hands were bleeding, calluses torn open by the bar. The hero didn’t seem bothered when their own hands shook so much that their blood began to splatter on the gym floor.

For a moment, the villain could only stare at them.

Shit.

They didn’t know how to handle this. They knew the hero was dedicated. They knew the hero was strong, and perpetually trying to be stronger, but they hadn’t thought…

They hadn’t thought the hero would be so willing to tear apart their own body for success.

It was supposed to be fun, the villain thought. They felt a little sick as the hero pressed their palms together to soothe the bleeding, an action that was practiced and familiar. As if they had done this before.

The hero reached for something in their bag, smearing blood on the side, and pulled out a roll of blue electrical tape. The villain didn’t understand why, until the hero tore a strip off and made to wrap their hands with it.

The hero would be the death of them.

They crouched in front of the hero, plucking the electrical tape out of their hands.

“What are you doing with this?”

The hero blinked at the villain like they were the strange one in this situation.

“Wrapping my hands?”

The villain hissed in a breath.

“With electrical tape?”

The hero flushed slightly, looking down at their bloody hands. They looked close to tears.

“It…sticks to skin, really well. And it doesn’t move, either, when you move your hands or wherever else, even if you’re fighting. Plus, blood doesn’t make it come off, at least, not for a while.”

The villain blinked at them.”

“Blood doesn’t make it come off,” the villain repeated, processing. The hero nodded, reaching for the electrical tape. The villain settled it out of reach.

“Not if you wrap it right.”

Dimly, the villain realized that meant the hero had done this enough times to have it down to a science.

“And you couldn’t use a bandaid?” The villain asked incredulously. The hero shrugged a shoulder, then winced at the motion.

Yeah, the hero had absolutely blown out their arms.

“Bandaids move—“

The villain hushed them.

“Be quiet for a second.”

The hero, wisely, went quiet.

The villain rubbed a hand over their face, then studied the hero for a moment. They took one of the hero’s hands into their own, studying the damage.

“Why did you do this to yourself,” the villain murmured.

“What do you mean, why,” the hero snapped. “It’s my job.”

“Your job is to save people,” the villain corrected. “Not destroy yourself.”

“I’m not destroying myself—“

“You are.”

“Shut up—“

“Hero.”

“I need to be better,” the hero snapped. Their voice rang out across the gym, echoing into the rafters, and they both froze. After a moment, the hero spoke again, voice soft. “I need to be better.”

They said it like they needed the villain to understand. The villain wondered who they were really saying it to—the villain, or themself.

“Better than who?”

“Everyone.” It was hushed, like a secret.

The villain watched them, waiting.

The hero took a shaky breath

“My whole thing is being the best. I have always been the best. That’s the only reason I matter. If I’m not strong enough, then I am nothing, so I need. to be. better.”

The hero had started crying, very quietly, like they were afraid to take up too much space.

The villain was not equipped to handle gifted kid burnout.

“There’s more to you than just being a good athlete,” the villain said hesitantly, and the hero shook their head.

“No. There isn’t.”

“Hero.”

“Can you give me back my electrical tape?” They hiccuped to contain a sob.

“No,” the villain said firmly, and then the hero really was sobbing.

“You don’t understand—“

The villain didn’t. Not really. They had never been the kind of talented that the hero was.

They wondered now if maybe that was a blessing.

“I don’t,” the villain agreed. “But I do understand that you’ve saved half the city, and you give everything you have to give, and you always do your best.”

“But I-“

“No.” The villain stopped them. “You are doing your best.” They tipped the hero’s chin up until they met the villain’s eyes. “And it is enough.”

The hero froze, eyes darting over the villain’s face. They wondered if anyone had ever said that to the hero, if whatever mentor they had was giving them anything other than orders to be stronger. Be better. Be more.

The villain had some new targets to take care of, it would seem.

For now, though, they had to take care of hero.

“We’re going to go wrap your hands,” they said softly. “And then we’re going to take care of your arms, and you’re going to take a nap.”

The hero nodded, watching them like they were some kind of good, selfless person.

“And if I ever catch you using electrical tape again, so help me, I will put you six feet under.”

That startled a laugh out of the hero, and they let the villain guide them to their feet.

“Fine.”

The villain turned to them. “Okay?”

Are you going to be alright?

The hero seemed to understand.

“Okay,” the hero agreed.

Yes.

And so, it was.

#writing #writing community #snippet #angst #heroes and villains #ficlet #writblr #writing prompt #hero/villain #hero whumpee #exhaustion #overworked #villain caretaker #whump #kind of #in case you’re wondering. yes you CAN do this to yourself. it’s completely possible #essentially what happens is if you do a motion (a pull-up) more than your body is capable #it gets mad. this is different from training till failure. this is to failure and then beyond #so while you started using the correct muscle groups you those muscles get tired and despite the tired you don’t stop #so then your body switches to muscles it SHOULDNT BE USINF and then you fuck up your elbows (in the case of pull-ups)#and then you can’t straighten your arms for a week bc the ligaments and tendons and all the little movement parts want to keep it curled in #I’m not a doctor #I’m just a gifted kid who was an athlete who got burnt out and destroyed her body lmao #this is possibly maybe based on true events that occurred #anyways. I’m not a doctor but you can use electrical tape on wounds. yes it sticks. yes it stays. it’s honestly very useful.#electrical tape > bandaids #do not do anything listed here it is BAD. do not blow out your muscles it hurts. properly clean ur injuries. I beg you.#don’t get injured at all #thank you to my friend who went “pull-up’ competition and then watched me create this angst #love u besties. drink water. go to sleep. summon demons. ❤️ self care

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stxrry-dxys · 2 months

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“we need more complex female characters” y’all couldn’t even handle bloberta puppington

#moral orel posting #ik im late to this joke but it’s only because i insisted on watching the whole show before i made it #also if someone else already made this joke i’m sorry #i looked but couldn’t find anyone who had #is she a bad person? yes. but is she good character? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY #she’s a horrible failure in the shape of a woman and i love her #immaculate character writing #bloberta puppington #bloberta hymentact #moral orel

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vampirevatican · 3 months

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filthy levi... basement dweller levi... long messy hair and facial hair...

(NSFW UNDER CUT, MDNI)

levi that watches hentai and plays eroge games with plot... tentacle like tongue... snake tail... double donger... leviathan.

submissive levi, yes, but when he loses himself... dominant levi when seeking his release... when you made him too horny.

pervy levi who has fantasized about you endlessly... innocently stolen shirts? not so innocent bc he has it on a body pillow with a flesh light...

levi who'd sell his soul for a sniff of your undies... who'd eat you out while an anime, most likely hentai, you've both seen plays in the background.

#obey me!#obey me leviathan smut #obey me smut #GOD i love a boy failure 🤤🥰#i'll re-write this into full on headcanons soon

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thewritingowl · 1 year

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Danny, in his teen angst era: What's the worst that can happen? I die? Been there, done that, not gonna do it again.

Bruce, who has been spending the past two weeks reviewing the footage of Danny being vivisected: I--

#dp x dc crossover #dp dc crossover #dc x dp #dp x dc #Found this little joke in my drafts #Thought of it while writing Part 10 of But I Want to Be Let In; Not Out #Danny: If I ignore my trauma it'll just go away #Bruce: I must be constantly reminded of my failures so I don't repeat them even if it's disastrous to my mental health #They really have opposite but similar energies #True Father-Son bonding right there

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comradekatara · 3 days

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sokka, katara, and the paradox of “the gifted child”

something i’ve noticed is a tendency to (mis)characterize sokka as someone who is dismissed due to being a nonbender, when that’s only partially true. sokka is certainly dismissed by some for not being a bender (namely, by benders), but i think there’s a key difference between being dismissed and not being valued in one specific way. katara was valued by her tribe for being a waterbender for the very crucial reason that she was the last one left. had she been a dime a dozen in her tribe, which would have been the case were it not for the systemic extermination of her people, she would not be valued as highly for possessing this skill. that said, while sokka clearly does hold some resentment over his lack of bending ability, calling himself “the guy in the group who’s regular,” i think it’s folly to assume that this means that sokka was dismissed and discarded as “average” while katara was put on a pedestal for being special. because while katara obviously was considered special, sokka is also clearly considered special by his family, merely in different ways. and if anything, sokka embodies the archetypal struggle of the so-called "gifted child” far more than katara does.

while sokka clearly believes himself to be disposable and intrinsically worthless, i don’t think that he was actively neglected by his family. even if katara was clearly marked by her bending as embodying the last hope of their tribe, that doesn’t mean that she was seen as more gifted than he was or was designated as her family’s obvious favorite. for example, the way hakoda talks about sokka (saying he trusted him with leading and protecting the tribe when he was thirteen, calling him a genius, and other such insanely high praises to heap on a child) shows that he clearly views his son as particularly exceptional and has never been shy about showing that. sokka is distinctly insecure around his father for assumptions he makes regarding hakoda's faith in his abilities and his insecurities when it comes to his perceived failure in not measuring up as a man, but from the second we meet hakoda, it's evident that these insecurities are entirely internal and completely unfounded, at least in terms of his father's perception of him. hakoda is nothing but incredibly proud of sokka, constantly emphasizing just how capable and brilliant he believes him to be. whether or not sokka is capable of internalizing it is another story, but it's clear that hakoda is not stingy in his praise and affection, not even a little bit.

moreover, while katara is clearly kanna’s favorite on an emotional level, she nonetheless affords sokka far more respect. she admonishes katara and tells her to do her chores, and notably, she also impresses the importance of “listening to her brother,” and backs up sokka’s decision to banish aang from the village. you can claim that sexism plays a factor in how sokka views his own supposed position of authority, but kanna is a woman who traveled the entire globe as a teenager because she wanted to escape patriarchal impositions dictating her life. she’s simply far too smart to treat sokka as any sort of authority within their village if she did not fully entrust him with that responsibility. she treats sokka almost like a peer, as if she is legitimately co-running the village with a fifteen year old boy.

katara is only a couple years younger than sokka at most, but her dynamic with kanna is very different. on one hand, kanna clearly sees more of herself in katara, can identify with her sense of adventure and rebellious spirit, but on the other hand, it means that she views katara as a child to be taken care of, who needs to be reminded to do her chores and bailed out when she gets herself into trouble. sokka doesn't want to be viewed as a child, and so he does everything in his power to position himself as kanna's equal rather than her grandson. he takes his duties and responsibilities very seriously, and is obedient to a fault whenever he is submitting to any authority he actually respects, especially his father and grandmother. to be honest, a lot of what katara considers coddling is probably just sokka never being bossed around by their grandmother because she never actually has to tell him to do his chores. because despite katara's claim that he simply faffs about "playing soldier," sokka's problem is actually that he takes himself too seriously for her liking. and with the exception of kanna saying "be nice to your sister," which is the kind of teasing a parent says to their child, she clearly respects sokka's position in the village. when katara tries to run away with aang, kanna takes sokka's side and forbids her from acting impulsively, but when sokka is the one who packs supplies and plans to save aang, kanna gives them both her blessing.

katara is the only person who takes umbrage with the notion of sokka running the village and telling her what to do all day. and those frustrations have likely accumulated up from a lifetime of being told to “do as her brother says” and “why can’t she be smarter and more responsible and levelheaded blah blah blah.” she clearly thinks that she’s punching up when she yells at or mocks him, which may seem crazy to anyone who understands that sokka’s entire identity and existence revolves around being katara’s protector, but katara doesn’t actually know this. in her mind sokka is merely the perfect child who has always represented this impossible standard of “genius.” and what's more, he's absolutely insufferable about it.

and to be clear, this isn’t to say that katara herself isn’t highly intelligent, capable, competent, and skilled. she’s not only an incredibly talented waterbender, but also clever, quick, witty, creative, resourceful, practical, mature, and thoughtful in other ways. at one point, toph calls her a genius (“a stinky, sweaty genius”). and she is, indeed, an extremely powerful and innovative waterbender, both due to her hard work, but also because she is genuinely brilliant. that said, she’s smart in the realistic way that a kid is smart; she works hard to be good at what she cares about (and she has an existentially devastating reason to care about being a good waterbender, mind you), and she’s also good at thinking on the fly when she needs to. however, unlike sokka, or even toph, her intellect may be impressive, but it isn’t astonishing. sokka’s mind functions completely anomalously. i wouldn't say he's unrealistically intelligent, because i do know some people in real life who are similarly adept at processing all kinds of different information with the ability to deftly apply it near-immediately, but it is certainly abnormal, both for real world standards and within his universe.

i normally bristle at this term and its applications (for multiple reasons), but since it is explicitly stated multiple times across the show, it is important to acknowledge that sokka is referred to as a genius multiple times, including by his father. katara is referred to as being a genius by toph for using her own sweat to waterbend (which, as hama points out an episode later, isn't even that clever because you can literally bend water from the air around you); conversely, sokka is referred to as a genius for helping to invent hot air balloons and for figuring out multiple escape routes from the world's most secure prison in less than a day. we don't know the exact timeframe under which katara trained with pakku and earned the title of master, but she clearly worked incredibly hard to earn that title, not only as a master, but as the greatest waterbender in the entire world. i assume it was any time between a few weeks and a little over a month in which zhao would organize a fleet to arrive at the north pole, which is, of course, extremely impressive in itself and a testament to her passion and determination. however, on the other hand, piandao claims that sokka has basically mastered the sword and is ready to make his own within less than a day. it's important to remember that katara is also brilliant in her own way, and possesses great skills that sokka lacks: not only bending, but also midwifery, and an ability to locate her own emotions and allow herself to be vulnerable with others, two skills which should never be looked down upon for their association with womanhood and femininity, and are also particularly impressive considering just how young katara is. she is brilliant in her own right, and in any other family, katara would easily have been "the smart one." and yet, sokka is simply in a league of his own.

so, yeah, he can stand to get thrown around and yelled at; everyone her entire childhood just kept on impressing how special and perfect and brilliant he is, he can handle it. she has no idea that he is depressed, depersonalizes, loathes himself, and thinks he’ll never be good enough, because he never actually communicates any of that to her. the closest he ever comes is admitting that he’s jealous due to not having bending abilities, and even that shocks katara, even though it’s such a small and obvious admission in the scheme of things. she has no idea what’s going on with him psychologically, how he views himself in relation to others, and specifically in relation to her, so she kind of just assumes he’s entitled because surely he must know how special he is and thus feels owed accolades by the world at every turn. he deserves to be humbled, and she is in fact righteous for humbling him.

when she makes fun of him for being stupid or miserable or paranoid or cynical, she thinks she’s owning him the way a righteous underdog fights against an oppressor. it's similar to how zuko wants to "put azula in her place." in katara and zuko's minds, they are both the valiant underdog siblings who had to fight and struggle against the siblings for whom everything came so easily. and in katara’s mind especially, she is always punching up, and she always has a moral justification in lashing out at anyone she pleases. so she couldn’t fathom that the reason sokka puts up with her antagonism without complaint isn’t because he’s so above her that he can simply ignore her taunts and gibes without a care (if that were the case, he wouldn't bother to taunt and gibe in return), but rather that he feels so detached from his own personhood that he would never think to actually explain his feelings to the person whom he has defined himself through since childhood. and if he did ever, somehow, communicate that to her, she’d have to reevaluate their whole entire lives and dynamic. but he never will communicate that to her, so she’ll never actually have to do that.

moreover, even though katara often does tease sokka and cast doubt upon his competence and abilities in low-stakes situations constantly, whenever they are actually facing a real problem that requires an immediate solution, katara seems to forget that sokka is supposedly an unhelpful, lazy, immature idiot because she immediately turns to him to fix all their issues. and then once that issue is resolved, katara goes back to finding his existence bothersome. sokka, on the other hand, falls into this role of problem solver instinctually, with the one exception that when they actually name him as the idea guy, he jokingly complains that it’s a lot of pressure to be one who is always expected to come up with solutions. and while he is joking during that conversation in “the drill,” he’s being honest to an extent, because his perfectionism and fear of failure is truly dire.

when katara is faced with failure, whether as the consequences for her own actions or otherwise, she simply gets back up and tries again. she can’t be knocked down, she can’t be deterred from achieving her goals. she has a very healthy approach to making mistakes, and while she doesn’t always learn from them in the longterm, she does always try her best to fix them and amend the situation as immediately as possible. katara is someone who is incredibly resilient and is constantly demonstrating the sheer magnitude of her inner strength, especially in particularly difficult moments. she has the ability to fail as many times as it takes without letting that failure affect her own self-esteem or desire to keep striving for what she believes in.

sokka, on the other hand, is very physically resilient (he gets beat up a lot), but his emotional resilience is actually quite pathetic. he has no tools for coping with failure. from even the slightest mistake, like not actually being able to open the doors at the fire temple with his makeshift explosives, to a catastrophic one, like his failed invasion, sokka immediately retreats inward. in “the boiling rock,” sokka demonstrates how his first ever real failure that rests squarely on his own shoulders is so devastating to him that he becomes totally irrational and suicidal in an attempt to “rectify” the situation. he does not know how to cope with failure, because he expects himself to be perfect at all times. and it’s not because sokka is overly proud, but rather that his guilt complex is so profound that he blames himself for every single thing that goes awry at all times, even when it isn’t actually his fault whatsoever. so that guilt and shame is magnified a thousand fold when sokka is actually culpable for those losses.

one of many ways in which it is evident that sokka is the older sibling is that he clearly lives with the mentality that if katara messes up or gets herself in danger due to her own impulsive inclinations, it’s always actually sokka’s fault for not being a better, more attentive brother. when she sets off the booby trap in the banned ship, sokka banishes aang from the village so as to protect katara from herself. when katara experiences the consequences of heedlessly blowing up a factory, sokka gets mad at her for her recklessness, but also immediately finds a way to help her fix this situation, because that’s his job, and in fact, his primary purpose on this earth. this is a dynamic sokka has probably internalized even before he was assigned the role of her sworn protector, because that’s just how being the eldest is.

sokka’s tendency to take responsibility for everyone else’s mistakes and his desire to shoulder everyone else’s pain at all times, coupled with his implicit belief that he, uniquely, cannot afford to mess up ever (if other people make mistakes it’s fine and he can help them fix it, but if he makes mistakes he no longer has a purpose on this planet, goodbye cruel world), definitely indicates that he was held to an incredibly high standard all his life. he expects himself to be able to handle a lot of responsibility with perfect ease because he always has. he isn’t used to making mistakes of any kind. if he puts his mind into learning a new skill, he always masters it within a couple of days, whatever that skill happens to be. unlike katara, sokka is used to things coming easily to him, and what he isn’t used to is failure.

katara and sokka are both exceptional, of course, but in very different ways, and for very different reasons. katara grew up with a lot of external pressure to excel as a waterbender, because she needs to embody her cultural legacy and prove that her mother’s sacrifice was not in vain. it’s an unfathomable burden to place on a child, and the rate at which she improves her waterbending once she is actually given the resources to hone her skills is a testament to her perseverance and untiring dedication. katara becomes the greatest waterbender in the world not because she is a natural prodigy (which is something she bristles at when aang does display prodigious skill), but because she is incredibly determined and no one can outmatch the strength of her heart and unshakable commitment when she is pursuing a goal. as pakku even says, raw talent isn’t everything, and katara’s abilities prove that despite not being “naturally gifted,” hard work and determination is far more important when it comes to excelling in any given domain.

however, if katara’s motivation to be excellent is externally imposed by the tragic circumstances of her life, sokka’s motivations are, at the very least, internally maintained. as aforementioned, i have no doubt that he received a lot of external validation and praise from the adults in his life as a child with a dazzling, brilliant mind. as has been established, sokka is constantly displaying an ability to synthesize new information at a staggering rate, which likely means that before katara had even discovered her ability to waterbend, sokka was probably being fawned over for the impressive rate at which he was picking up new skills as a baby. since pretty much everything (cerebral, at least) comes easily to sokka, i can only imagine that hakoda, who never hesitates to express to his children how proud he is of them, would constantly affirm sokka’s intellect. and by boasting that sokka takes after himself (hakoda also refers to himself as a genius, completely sincerely), he unwittingly plants the first seeds in fostering sokka’s belief that he must be exactly like his father in every way, and that any deviation from hakoda’s image would prove him unworthy. but he will never be the spitting image of hakoda the way that katara is "the spitting image of kanna" because sokka is already the spitting image of kya, if not – perish the thought – his own person entirely.

unlike katara, who spent her whole childhood trying to waterbend by herself with little success (beyond, of course, isolated instances demonstrating her sheer raw power when her bending was being influenced by her incredibly strong and passionate emotions), sokka always felt like he could handle the amount of responsibility he was given, because everything came easily to him. until the day that his life changed forever, and suddenly the stakes were no longer abstract, but tangible and personally devastating. sokka had never learned that it was okay to fail as a child because he never had a reason to, and then suddenly, he could not afford to fail under any circumstances. failure of any kind went from being a (purely hypothetical) blow to the ego, to being something that could directly endanger the lives of his loved ones. and so sokka decides that the only way to not be culpable for his potential failures is to be a martyr.

of course, there are instances in which sokka is proven to be inept, such as on kyoshi island or with piandao, wherein his humility and open-mindedness are put on display and sokka puts aside his own standards of perfection to learn from a master, but i don't think these instances qualify as failures. for one thing, sokka happens to master the forms he is being taught in less than a day, at an unprecedented rate, and thus these initially humiliating blindspots in his knowledge become victories as sokka absorbs new knowledge. sokka is always eager to learn, and willing to acknowledge his lack of expertise in area, humbling himself to learn from others any chance he gets. no, what i mean by "failure" as it relates to sokka's self-perception and ego is not a lack of knowledge, but an inability to protect another. to sokka, his existence is defined by his ability to provide and protect, and thus, a failure is, specifically, when someone gets hurt under his watch. that is what it means to not be able to afford to fail. he is not overly proud (if anything he is overly insecure), but he also understands that the stakes of failure – real failure – are tangible.

so when it comes to failure that carries grave consequences, he would rather be dead than fallible (or, responsible for not adequately protecting his loved ones), one million times over. and so every time someone makes a sacrifice for him, he feels as if he has failed on a fundamental level, because simply being exceptional is not enough, he must also bear the entire world’s suffering alone – as (in his mind) hakoda instructed him to when he left him behind to protect and provide for the village. otherwise he has failed in his promise to be needed, which is his raison d’être. sokka’s complex is very obviously not informed solely by his upbringing as a “gifted kid,” and in fact largely informed by the dehumanizing logic of war as it necessitates sacrifice, but his inability to accept his own fallibility as a product of his self-dehumanization is, at the very least, compounded by his debilitating perfectionism.

thus, katara and sokka's dynamic within their family isn’t “gifted kid and neglected kid,” but rather “two gifted kids who are gifted in different ways, one of those ways being valued more on a cultural level due to its scarcity as a byproduct of genocide.” while katara was put on a pedestal her entire life due to her ability to waterbend, it doesn’t mean that sokka wasn’t put on a pedestal in other ways. if anything, the reason hakoda entrusted a child with the burdens he did was specifically because he put his son on a pedestal. sokka assumes that hakoda didn't think he was capable enough to join his army, but that couldn't be further from the truth. hakoda trusted his thirteen year old son so much that he genuinely thought it best to leave him alone with this duty to defend his village and protect katara at all costs. he didn't leave a single man behind, not even the other teenage boys, because that's how much faith he had in a child to take his responsibilities seriously and perform them competently. and if that decision gave sokka one million different complexes and fucked him up for life, it wasn’t because he wasn’t valued for his abilities, it’s because he was overvalued and given too much responsibility at too young an age.

both he and katara struggled to live up to the expectations placed on them, forced to fulfill the roles of their parents instead of being allowed to exist as children. but crucially, katara sees the injustice in that, and clings to her childhood even as she strives for greatness, and sokka simply doesn't. he's long accepted that injustice, and in fact feels guilty that he cannot better live up to the impossible portrait of an idolized father, an idealized masculinity, an illusory model of the infallible, unshakeable warrior. despite all his achievements and natural giftedness, he nonetheless feels totally inadequate, deeply flawed, and ontologically worthless. perhaps, in a world beyond the pressures of war and its dehumanizing logic, sokka would have internalized the praise he was constantly receiving his whole life for his gifts. but since he was only ever a prodigy in ways that didn’t matter (within that colonized paradigm), he doesn’t actually care about how clever and brilliant and creative and talented and unique and special he is, because that would first require him to see himself as fully human, and he can’t even do that.

#analysis #sokka #katara #katara&sokka #hakoda #kanna #kya #hakoda&sokka #kanna&sokka #kya&sokka #kanna&katara #whew...! 20+ paragraphs about sokka and katara’s childhood. it’s more likely than u think (highly likely at all times)#see but this is why sokka is so clearly a mirror to azula to me #like not just in terms of crippling perfectionism and devastating fear of failure and being a child prodigy who is put on a pedestal #but simultaneously dehumanized etc etc #but also the fact that like. zuko treats her the same way katara treats sokka #he clearly thinks his immediate hostility and aggression towards her is like. him nobly fighting the battle against his tormentor #when that is literally his little sister and she is struggling so much and desperate for support from LITERALLY ANYONE #katara and zuko are like ‘let’s put azula in her place’ and high five #and that’s just so fucking apt because they truly do believe that it’s their duty to put their perfect prodigy siblings ‘in their place’#but those are truly two of the most miserable people on the planet #so to any outside observers it’s just like………. why are you being mean to them they’re literally suicidal and shaking like a leaf #but also everyone already knows that azula is the prodigious gifted sibling bc zuko says it like one million times #so there’s rly no need to argue that #whereas katara loves calling sokka an idiot so i do believe that some clarification is in order #but like. yeah there’s no way sokka was dismissed or neglected as a child #he’s dismissed and neglected by the world at large #but within his tribe he’s like a mini celebrity . he’s their young sheldon (sorry)#anyway im running out of room to write tags but um. perfectionism is a disease get well soon xoxo bye

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uncannyalien · 7 months

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I just love realizing that my fic is actually terrible and I'd need to rework the entire thing except I'm already 10 chapters in that are POSTED ONLINE so I guess I'm just fucked now

#just writer problems #writeblr #writing #writers on tumblr #fanfiction writer #writing failure

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skyward-floored · 7 months

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Whumptober Day 10: Aftermath of failure

Continuation to day 4! (...finally. This is so late)

Soooo this was actually originally split into two days, and it kinda shows. But I didn’t want to have to keep stretching this out, and decided putting them together was okay, even if they don’t fit together perfectly.

Enjoy your extra angst hehe—

Day 4

Read on ao3

Warnings: blood, mentions of injuries, a panic attack, and brief mention of vomit.

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Legend was asleep.

Warriors repeated it to himself like a mantra, watching as Hyrule crouched over the veteran and finished bandaging his middle. He knew Legend was asleep because Hyrule wasn’t acting panicked at all, and he could see his chest going up and down even from here.

He was breathing. He was asleep.

Something buzzed in his ear, same as it had on and off for a while now, but Warriors couldn’t make it out. He was pretty sure it was Sky trying to talk to him, the same as he’d been for a while, but he couldn’t focus on what he was saying, couldn’t take his eyes off of where Legend was laying in the grass.

His chest was still going up and down. He was asleep, unconscious maybe, due to shock. But he was breathing, eyes closed, face twisted slightly in pain with his bangs falling over his face. Hyrule was still bandaging his middle, and he’d pulled his bloodstained tunic out of the—

Warriors’ breath stuttered, and his gaze flicked to the blood coating his hands.

Legend’s blood.

Legend’s blood that he’d spilled.

Legend’s blood that his sword had ripped out of him after he’d plunged it into his chest, all because he wasn’t strong enough to resist whatever magic had attacked him, and made him think Legend had betrayed them all.

“Please, I’m not your enemy!”

Warriors felt his breath catch again, swallowing thickly. The memories were still blurry of what exactly he’d done, but he remembered in stark detail Legend’s chest under his foot, his eyes blown wide with an unusual fear as he’d practically begged him to wake up, his scream when he’d stabbed—

“Link, hey.”

Hands clutched at his wrists, trying to get a reaction out of him, the skin cold against his own. Warriors stared at them blankly, palms streaked with faint burns and cuts, and watched as some of Legend’s blood dripped off his fingers and onto his tunic, joining the crimson that was already coated all over his front.

He lurched over and retched.

The hands let go of his wrists, and gently grabbed his shoulder instead, waiting until he was finished. An overwhelming swell of horror and regret swamped over him as he stopped, and Warriors could barely breath, his scarf feeling like it was constricting him.

He’d almost killed Legend. He’d almost killed a fellow hero, a brother, all because of a spell he was too weak to resist.

“Captain, take a deep breath, please.”

Warriors tried, managing a shaking gasp, and what he finally recognized as Sky’s voice tried to get him to take in another. A sting of embarrassment leaked through the horror as Sky gently spoke, and Warriors felt his fingernails bite into his palm as he clenched his fist.

He needed to calm down. He was better than this, he knew how to be calm in situations like this, he’d been trained how to calm down, he needed to remember his training—

Your training that nearly killed Legend.

Warriors heaved in another breath, frantically trying to get himself to calm down. He couldn’t think about it. He just needed to focus on something else.

The hand was still on his shoulder, and Warriors focused only on that, on the small circles it was rubbing, the gentle motions of the fingers going back and forth. He kept his mind firmly from anything else that had or was happening, and eventually managed to pull his breathing under control, taking slower breaths as he calmed his heart.

After a long time, he slowly raised his head and looked at Sky’s face.

The other knight’s face was pale, making the usual eye bags he had stick out even more sharply under his eyes. A bit of blood was drying in his hair, and his lip was split, blood trickling down his chin, but more obvious than any injury was the haunted look in his eyes.

But somehow he still managed to dredge up a smile to send at Warriors.

“Hey Captain,” he said in a soft voice, and Warriors stared at him blankly. “You back with me?”

Warriors’ breath hitched again.

“I almost killed him,” he rasped, the horror starting to trickle back through the temporary wall he’d put up.

Sky’s smile faded, and Warriors swallowed, his throat stinging with bile. He hadn’t meant to say that.

Sky hesitated, and looked like he was trying to think of something to say, and Warriors felt another overwhelming swell of panic and horror overwhelm him, crashing over him like a tsunami.

“Gods Sky,” he choked out, his breath catching in his lungs, “I nearly killed him, I stabbed Legend Sky, he’s only a kid I—”

Sky clutched at his hands again, and Warriors looked at Legend’s blood still drying on his palms.

“You— we, weren’t ourselves,” Sky said in a voice only slightly more steady than Warriors’, sounding like he was forcing his voice not to break. “It was the wizzrobe. We can’t... we can’t take the blame here Wars, it’ll... it’ll tear us apart.”

Warriors let out a truly bitter laugh, and didn’t reply. It already is.

“Link,” Sky continued, his voice agonized. “Don’t—”

“I thought he was one of them Sky,” Warriors interrupted, voice shaking. “A traitor. Someone who’d gone against everything I stand for, kidnapped Zelda or— or something, I can’t even remember, but I thought he was one of them Sky, I—”

His voice cracked, and he closed his eyes, shaking his head.

I’m the traitor.

The irony wasn’t lost on him.

Sky stayed silent, and Warriors felt bile rise in his throat again as his eyes flicked to the bloodstained grass Legend was lying in, but he swallowed it back, staring down at his hands. Sky’s own were still clasped at his wrists, and Warriors realized his were the ones with the burns and cuts on them, red and painful looking.

“You’re hurt,” he said numbly, and Sky shrugged a little, turning his hands so the burns were harder to see.

“Not too badly. Fi was only helping, and Wind’s a better brawler than I am.” He rubbed his jaw, a softer expression crossing his face. “He can sure hit hard for having such small fists.”

Warriors felt a flicker of pride towards Wind, but the warmth from the emotion didn’t last long. The others really had fought their hardest to keep them all away from Legend.

Look how that turned out.

He breathed out heavily, feeling less panicked and more wrung out all of a sudden, and Warriors raised his head and looked around at their group.

Wind was sitting next to Four and helping him wrap a bandage around his side, the smithy’s tunic bloody and torn. Wind himself had a black eye, and a small cut on his cheek, with half-dried blood staining his chin as well. He was holding a bottle and trying to get Four to take it, but the smithy kept shaking his head and pushing it back towards him.

Hyrule had finished with Legend, and was talking to Time, though Hyrule was pointedly positioned between the downed veteran and the older hero. Both of them were sporting multiple injuries, but before Warriors could study them further, a choked noise made him startle.

He and Sky both turned to look, and saw Wild curled in on himself at the base of a nearby tree, his head in his hands and his forearm bleeding. Twilight was kneeled next to him, talking in quiet tones, and Wild muffled a keening noise in his hands, curling up tighter.

Warriors looked away from Wild, but found himself scanning all of Twilight’s injuries, remembering in an almost detached way that he’d been the one to inflict most of them.

“Keep them away from Legend!”

His gaze went back to the veteran against his will, and he stared in silence at his chest, bandages going steadily up and down, the same as earlier. His face was pale, but Hyrule must have cleaned the blood from it as it was clean, and Legend’s expression had eased a little further.

Warriors swallowed, watching him. Legend looked so small from over here, pale and bloodstained. He may have claimed the title of veteran, but he truly was still a kid, younger then when Warriors had joined the army.

How old was he when he had started saving people?

Warriors jumped at a sudden hand in his face, and he almost fell backwards before he realized it was Sky, holding a cloth in his hand.

“You’re still bleeding,” he apologized quietly, and Warriors hesitated, then nodded, closing his eyes as Sky began to clean the blood off his forehead and cheek. He normally disliked anyone touching his face, but Sky was gentle, and Warriors stayed still as he worked, blinking his eyes against the sudden sting in them.

“Wars wake up! You’d never hurt any of us!”

“It wasn’t you, Captain. It wasn’t your fault,” Sky whispered as he continued, and Warriors couldn’t look him in the eye.

Maybe he was right. Maybe not.

But either way, Legend’s screams wouldn’t be fading from his mind anytime soon.

And he would never forgive himself for hurting him that way.

Warriors looked down at his hands one more time, the smell of blood still sharp in his nose, and Sky continued to clean off his face, hand faintly trembling.

If blood didn’t end up being the only liquid that was wiped from his cheek, then Sky didn’t comment on it.

(...)

It was dark when Legend finally woke up.

He blinked his eyes open, lids feeling unusually heavy as he stared up at the night sky, but he found himself having trouble remembering what had happened before he fell asleep. He felt tired, and heavy, and for some reason there was a heavy feeling of wrongness settled around him. But...

Legend frowned, and turned his head to look around camp.

It was mostly dark and quiet, a campfire providing a bit of warmth and light. Legend blinked his eyes open a little further, and looked around at the others, the sense of wrongness only growing stronger.

Hyrule was tucked beside him, dead asleep with his arm resting on top of Legend’s. He looked exhausted, and his face held a deep frown, his other hand held near his sword. Wind was next to him, and Four stretched out nearby, the smithy sporting several bandages at his side.

On the opposite side of the clearing, Wild was curled into a tight ball under his blanket, barely visible, and Sky was next to him, his face tightly pinched in his sleep. Wolfie sat close by, but was surprisingly far away from Wild, and seemed rather on edge.

Time sat closest to the fire, and Legend couldn’t help but stare at how the older hero was holding Warriors’ shoulders, their foreheads nearly touching as he talked to him in a low voice.

He couldn’t make out the words, but they sounded urgent.

Legend blinked, feeling dizzy and a bit cold, and he tried to sit up, gasping in surprise as the pain he hadn’t even noticed in his middle spiked. Memories came flooding back as he looked down at his bandaged chest, and his breath hitched as Warriors and Time both turned and looked at him, their eyes shining in the firelight.

For a moment, all he could see was armor glinting in the sun, blank eyes focused on him in a glare, a sword raised to stab him through—

You killed the wizzrobe, he reminded himself as his breath caught, they’re not your enemies, they won’t turn on you, they won’t...

Twilight seemed to notice his distress, and he quickly hopped up and padded to his side, using his big head to gently push him back to lying down.

“I’m fine you big lug,” Legend said in a voice that ended up more shaky then he would have preferred, but Twilight ignored him, twitching his tail once, then settled himself on the opposite side of him from where Hyrule was.

Legend exhaled, and ran a hand through the wolf’s thick fur, unable to stop himself from still watching Time and Warriors. Looking at them without their armor on made it easier to separate them from the memories he had of them from earlier, but...

“Traitor to the crown!”

Not entirely.

Time noticed him staring, and met his eyes, looking at him with something that Legend wasn’t sure how to decipher. The older hero turned and said something to Warriors, but the captain looked away, and Time slowly got to his feet, approaching Legend.

He felt himself tense as Time drew near, but Twilight stayed firmly by his side, and the presence of the large wolf helped greatly with keeping him steady. Twilight won’t let him attack.

...not that he will, because the spell is broken, remember?

“How are you doing, Veteran?” Time asked softly as he reached him, sitting far enough away to not make Legend too uncomfortable.

“Fine.”

Time raised an eyebrow at the response, but didn’t push, offering him a water skin. Legend realized then he was rather parched, and slowly sat up again, reaching out to take it. He winced as a flicker of pain struck through his middle, but at Time’s worried look, firmly took the water skin as if daring him to argue.

“I’m alright,” Legend repeated, and took a long draught of water. It was cold as it went down his throat, but the relief was worth it. “How’s everyone else?”

Time sighed, heavy and tired. “About as well as you’d expect. Four was the worst off besides yourself, and Warriors and Twilight were both hurt more then they realized. But nobody’s in danger.”

Legend swallowed. Are they though?

It was silent between them for a minute while Legend finished drinking, shivering slightly as he finished. He could tell he had lost a lot of blood. That was something even Hyrule couldn’t fix, and he would have to just rest and regain it naturally.

Pretty annoying though, he grumbled, tugging his blanket tighter around his shoulders. He hated how cold he always felt after losing a bunch of blood.

The memory of being stabbed flickered in his memory, and his eyes slid over to Warriors, the captain staring blankly at the fire. He wondered how much he remembered of what had happened. The captain had seemed dazed after... everything, and while he’d obviously realized what he’d done, that didn’t really mean he truly remembered.

I hope he doesn’t remember a thing.

“Legend... do you know what that wizzrobe did?” Time asked quietly, and Legend felt a chill go up his spine. “Hyrule mentioned you freezing up, has this... spell, happened before?”

Do we need to be prepared for it to happen again? was the unspoken question.

Legend bit his lip. Hyrule knew why he had frozen up— he’d told him one time after finding a wanted sign with Legend’s face on it— but he’d obviously not elaborated on why to the others.

“I think... it reactivated an old spell through me somehow,” Legend murmured, drawing his blanket closer. “On... on my first quest, there was a sorcerer, a servant of Ganon, who took over the castle. He brainwashed all the soldiers and knights, and they thought I was the enemy for a long time.”

He swallowed.

“But I... I guess the wizzrobe hit me first, and it affected you all, because... you’re knights.”

Understanding dawned on Time’s face, and he leaned back, putting a hand on his chin. “My knighthood is only a title, I haven’t done much to deserve it,” he murmured, brows lowered. “But the spell didn’t differentiate regardless...”

He met Legend’s gaze again, and the veteran startled at the remorse all over his face.

“I’m so sorry Veteran.”

Legend shook his head, and looked down at the bandages covering most of his chest.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered. “The wizzrobe did it. It was infected... that must have granted it extra magic ability.”

Twilight shifted a little closer to him, and Legend ran his hand through his fur again, calming himself down with the motions. Time was silent for a while, watching his hand card along, then sighed, and got to his feet.

Legend flinched in spite of himself.

“I think the captain needs to hear that,” Time finally replied, his voice quiet. “Is it okay if he comes over here?”

No, no it’s not, his mind immediately screamed, glaring eyes and cold words flashing through his mind, a blade stabbing deep through his chest as he choked on his own blood and Warriors’ horrified gaze as he stared at his hands—

“Yeah,” he said in a voice that was much too casual.

Time and Twilight both gave him a look, but didn’t do anything further then that, and Time nodded and moved away.

Legend didn’t watch him reach Warriors, or talk to try and convince him to come over to where Legend was sitting, keeping his eyes firmly on his lap, or Wolfie’s soft fur. Not until a set of footsteps approached again did Legend flick his eyes up, and he felt his heart freeze as Warriors looked down at him.

Suddenly it was earlier again, and Warriors’ face had become a smooth glare, his sword plunging downwards into his chest, and Legend couldn’t breathe through the blood, his vision going dark—

“This— this was a bad idea,” Warriors said, stumbling over his words as Legend tried to get ahold of himself. “I don’t—”

“Stay,” Legend finally managed to get out, determined to beat this. And despite his instincts begging him to just leave, to run, to get away, he looked up and met Warriors’ eyes. “Please.”

Warriors swallowed, and Time’s hand landed on his shoulder, nearly pushing the captain down to sit next to Legend. He was a bit closer than Legend would have preferred, but he swallowed back the fear and distrust that were still trying to choke him, and stayed where he was.

Time looked between them, then left, far away enough to give them privacy, but close enough to help if there was a problem.

Which Warriors was obviously afraid there would be.

Twilight stayed where he was, silent and still, and Legend kept running his hand through his fur, wondering a bit at the fact that he was letting him pet him so much. But mostly he was just glad for the grounding feel of the fur between his fingers.

The silence between him and Warriors stretched on, and Legend avoided looking at him, still staring at his lap. He was afraid he would see those same blank eyes again if he looked up, and he didn’t move, didn’t say anything.

“Legend, I...” Warriors finally began, but his voice cracked, and he shook his head, staring at the ground.

The silence came back with a vengeance, and Legend hesitated, his stomach hurting with more than just his injury. He firmly gathered his courage, and finally looked over at Warriors, and was shocked to see a tear slip down his cheek.

Twilight quietly whined, and Warriors let out a laugh that was really more of a sob.

“I betrayed you, Legend,” he managed to continue, voice more broken then Legend had ever heard it. “I shouldn’t even be over here in case— in case it happens again. I can’t be trusted, I... I nearly killed you, and there aren’t enough words in the world to convey how sorry—”

Legend swallowed, and before he could scare himself out of doing it, leaned forward and pressed his head against Warriors’ chest.

The captain made a choked noise, and Legend squeezed his eyes shut.

“It wasn’t you,” he said, not bothering to hide the tremble in his voice. “It was the wizzrobe Captain, it was a spell, an infected one, I know— I know you would never hurt any of us.”

Horribly enough, Legend felt his eyes begin to sting, but he forced the tears back, and stayed with his head pressed to Warriors’ chest, listening to him try not to cry either.

“Nobody could have resisted that,” Legend choked out, firmly blaming the sudden crash of emotions on his exhausted physical state. “Nobody. So don’t— don't. Don’t blame y-yourself.”

Something shakily rested on his back after a minute, and Legend realized it was Warriors’ arm, eventually joined by the other. Part of him wanted to break away from the contact, his mind screaming that he couldn’t trust the arms encircling him. But the part that was fighting so hard to pound it into Warriors’ head that it wasn’t his fault hung on, and enjoyed the contact, as awkward and messy as it was.

He knew it was just as hard for Warriors to be this close to him as it was for Legend to be near him, and he firmly ignored every memory of blood and swords and screaming, and focused on breathing, his brother’s arms around him.

Not threatening. Not wielding a sword.

Safe.

Twilight moved himself a little closer to the both of them, so that his fur wasn’t just pressed to Legend’s side, and Warriors let out another unsteady breath, trembling slightly.

It would take more time then this to patch back what had fractured, for all of them, but this...

Legend fought back a sob, and felt Warriors’ grip hesitate, then tighten.

This was a good start.

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thechibilitwick · 1 month

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As an honorary Shidou apologist, I am breaking my silence. I’ve finally decided to go on a rant on why I don't think Kirisaki Shidou is an organ harvester.

(fair warning I like absolutely suck ass at organizing my thoughts, so if some of this is incoherent or if it seems like i'm repeating myself my bad 😭 I mainly wrote this for fun)

So, I'm aware that this theory is the most popular consensus when it comes to Shidou (and tbh, I think part of it is because a lot of people kinda look over him? Like at least a tiny bit more than the others, considering a lot of people also don’t realize how his main victim was probably his son and not his wife, but I digress) (plus I think all milgram characters are looked over to a certain extent). While I do think parts of it are probably accurate in some way, I don't think he was a full-on organ harvester (as in he actively stole from patients through illegal means. emphasis on actively) and that the theory in and of itself is flimsy at best. He's morally questionable, yes, but it’s more in the sense that he’s a somewhat apathetic guy who lacked understanding on how his own set of morals and values (i.e. pushing for organ donation) could be seen as wrong. So if he were an organ harvester, wouldn’t he be aware that it’s illegal? That’s what confuses me whenever people bring it up. I don't actually doubt that he may have done something illegal for his family's sake, it’s just that I still highly doubt it was something he actively did. And that seems to be what a lot of people think when they refer to the theory. (if i’m wrong please forgive me, i just assume organ harvester shidou = people think he did it as a job)

Anyways, more under the cut for those interested (it's a bit lengthy my apologies)

It then kinda trickles down to how his guilt stems more from the consequences of his actions rather than the actual action of taking organs. The root of his guilt comes from the realization that basically asking families to pull the plug and use their loved ones' organs for donation is a very, very hard decision; one that he kept pressuring for. If he was an illegal organ harvester, and was aware that his actions were in fact illegal, why the hell would he feel so guilty to the point that he’d start having suicidal ideations? That’s the key difference between his profession and his possible criminal activities; one is a burden both emotionally and morally, the other is more or less a literal burden. And based off of Shidou's character, he seems to be much more emotionally affected. That's also why I think a lot of people jump to the conclusion that his guilt stems from his actual actions rather than their effects. (does that make sense oh lord i am going ☝️🤓 so hard rn)

I get that some parts of his MV or lyrics seem to be suggesting that, but also it’s important to note that Shidou has a very strong bias against himself and definitely painted himself in a negative light. I mean, that's why he thinks every single preceding patient before the final incident is a victim to him, why he shows himself staying professional in a professional setting as apathetic (minus the pressuring part), and why he literally equates his job to STEALING. Not only that but, imo, it's also a little too unrealistic and might not actually fit the criteria of Milgram. Milgram is for crimes that are in a morally grey area. So if it really was organ harvesting, is it really in a grey area? (though I guess you could say that doing it for family's sake would be, but that's only for his family. He'd have no reason to do it otherwise). Plus, it'd make more sense and fit the theme of touching upon social issues (i.e. abortion, bullying, societal standards, mental health, etc.) if shidou’s entire dilemma was in regards to (albeit questionably done) organ donation, a complicated ethical topic in Japan.

Throw Down actually gives a pretty good rough idea of Shidou's thoughts towards his crime and his feelings in regards to it. He felt like he was blinded by his own values, and that inadvertently caused him to be unaware of the suffering he caused through his job. It really does shock me that he somehow was able to pull-off getting a forgiven verdict in T1 because he certainly comes off as cold and uncaring in regards to his work.

I think the final bridge in Throw Down kinda summarizes his entire mindset, actually.

Now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display Wishing you for someone else's sake With the same expression no matter who comes I don’t feel scared because I don’t know

Shidou doesn't quite understand the feelings of his patient's families, and therefore he acts remorseful and sympathetic more than he actually feels. Why? Well, because he didn't know. Up until that point, he never understood the weight of his actions, and focused on his role as a doctor. "This is an upsetting subject, yes, but it's for the greater good, right?” A braindead person has little to no chances of living, so why not use this as an opportunity to donate their organs? Moreover, as a doctor I believe it’s typical to be "emotionally detached” (for lack of a better word) since I’d assume becoming emotionally connected with a patient would make things at least a bit messy.

His mindset comes crumbling down though, presumably because he experienced the same or a similar situation. This part remains muddy for me, since we don't know much about what the actual cause for Shidou's guilt is. There are several possibilities, with the most plausible ones being:

he lost his own family member and had to go through with the same decision,

he tried to save a family member using donated organs, but failed, making it seem like everything he has done as a doctor was in vain

(a secret third option would be him making someone he cares about make that decision but it's very unlikely and also requires too much mental gymnastics)

But no matter what exactly he did, it all trickles down to the validity of his morals. After realizing the pain of losing a loved one, the struggle of trying to save them, and the unfortunate failure which left all efforts practically pointless, Shidou would understand the actual weight of his actions and why all those families were so reluctant to let go of their own.

This is even more evident in his T2 voice drama, Asclepius.

"In order to save the life of someone you don't know, please let me kill your family," I told them. It doesn't even take much thinking to realize how cruel that is, but… I didn't realize it until the very end.

This is the gist of Shidou's crime, or at least part of it (considering he says "Well, about halfway" when Es asks if their judgment was right). Again, this tells us that Shidou's guilt comes from the act of the effects of organ donation rather than the literal action. And this also implies that his "murders" did in fact have to do with being in a medical situation, it's just the way he went about it was at the very least morally questionable.

I will also acknowledge that he says he killed for selfish reasons, which most likely relates to trying to save his own family member. Here he could possibly have actually done something illegal such as tampering with patients or illegally taking their organs (latter is a stretch imo). Plus, his distorted T2 voice trailer line is literally "You're in the way, hurry up and die" which would only make sense in the context of waiting for a patient to die. But it could also just be him continuing to pressure for organ donation, but now with his own selfish motives.

Going back to the "halfway" comment, while I personally believe it might have to do with how Shidou views his crime as more than just taking organs, it more likely implies that something else happened that Shidou would consider murder. That being the actual death of his family member. It's implied through Throw Down that he was trying to save someone but failed, which he was responsible for. Then from there it'd make sense to assume that he would feel some form of guilt for the rest of his patients, either for the reason of failing to actually utilize donated organs even with the opportunity of being able to save them, or for just realizing the what it actually feels like to have to give up on your loved one. (does. does that make any sense.)

So yeah, I don’t think he’s an organ harvester due to what’s known regarding his crime, the reasoning for his guilt, and with the way he is as a character. The most I’d personally believe is that he decided to harvest organs for the sake of his loved one, but even that seems like a stretch to me. Thus, that is why I believe Kirisaki Shidou is not an organ harvester.

Anyways I’ve rambled on long enough, thank you for reading if you did and remember to drink water and vote shidou innocent in trial 3 because i will shit my pants if he doesn't get inno

#milgram #shidou kirisaki #kirisaki shidou #milgram analysis #everyone point and laugh at me for writing so much #i am so terrified i said something wrong like if i did then strike me dead #kirisaki shidou DESTROYED MY LIFE #i love the pathetic failure doctor #i swear on my life he'll get 3 innos no matter what #shidou i am begging you do not pull out some bs that'll make you seem less favorable than you already are #chibi's ramblings

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