Making Change

If it were easy it wouldn't be change.

Ok, that's it for being deep. But what if all the complications of "change" are a result of generational trauma?

I know, I know, just another #millennial not wanting to take responsibility for their own life... #projectingmuchboomer but think about it for another minute.

How many times have you told your parents that something was "difficult to do" like math or science and got told "oh, I never got it in school either". The resulting train of thought is "oh so its genetic, we are both bad at XYZ".

But what if that just cemented a mental block that causes the triggered gut response of "I can't do that"?

As I got older, I found that there was math and science I was good at and that made sense to my brain that wasn't taught in my school.

There is also the physical aspects of generational trauma.

#ripOliviaNewtonJohn

"Oh your aunt was heavy as a child"

"Oh your grandma got white hair young"

"Oh your great uncle used to have that"

I'm going to hazard a guess that at some point in your life something you do or don't like about you physical appearance and attributes, has been credited to a relation of some kind.

Gods know that my aunt has told me enough times that I "look like her" that the thought of getting back into healthy weight seems impossible.

Those thoughts, coupled with chronic stress and fatigue makes it seem like EVERYTHING is working against me. Like the universe itself is part of the plot. I couldn't get the "I can't do it" thought spiral out of my head. So I decided I needed to get back into my Craft.

I've been a practicing witch since I was about 12 years old. I come from a christian household, but that has changed over the years. We were raised Spanish-Roman catholic-- iykyk-- but now, I'm open pagan, my sister is atheist, my mom and dad are agnostic(mom more so than dad), and my Friendboy is self religious.

When I tell you this house is peaceful and the vibes are immaculate.

As adults who are owning their truths, myself and my parents and sister have never been closer. Now we aren't having to hide pieces of ourselves from each other its amazing the relationships you can have with family.

And I have lost weight from when I moved back into my parent's house. I was less than 10 pounds away from 300, which is the heaviest I've ever been. I'm currently at 262, still high but less than were I was. I want to be in "onderland", like 190 or so. And before you go "that's too high, women of short stature need to be XXX" EVERY BODY IS DIFFERENT.

And I have high testosterone and back when I worked out, male muscle density.

Sooooo I know that my body now, at 5ft3in and 262, I wear a size 14/16 pant, which I've been told "can't be right" and if I start working out, I tone up quickly.

I just haven't been able to find the motivation.

The voices in my brain can be cruel and tell me there is not point to try. But recently, with the Lionsgate portal, I felt a shift inside.

I want to be the very best version of who I can be now. Not who I was or who I used to want to be. I need to see clearly where I am now and do the work needed to become the best that I can be.

So that meant change. And change is hard. But here are the changes I've started making: *Putting my phone away by 1030pm and lights off by 11 *Waking up by 630 to let my brain wake up slowly instead of waking up late and stressed *Sorting and taking supplements and figuring out what makes my body feel better *Making our bed in the AM, no particular time just aiming for before noon (I work from home) *Better haircare and working to find a routine that works for me *Finding a skincare routine with products I like, I prefer minimal ingredients and as natural as possible *Remembering that "SELF CARE" is not a waste of time and that not only is it good for my mental and physical health, its good for my spirit *SHADOW WORK IS NOT JUST IMPORTANT BUT NECESSARY

This is just the start of the changes I'm making for the better, more will be added as I make process.

So like John McClaine said:

I am Angel, your hostess with the mostess, your lovely WitchTryal, stay tuned for more.

i cannot say it enough: RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP RESEARCH IS WORSHIP

research your ancestors, research your gods, research the land you come from, listen to the stories told by your family, your community, your elders and take notes. research research research.

Consider this: ghosts are actually exactly what the Fentons think they are.

They're snapshots of a longing so strong, unfinished business so deep it reaches out beyond life. Lingers just a bit longer. And if it happens to meet a dense cloud of ectoplasm (invisible to the naked eye, but omnipresent even in the mortal realm), it coalesces. The ectoplasm fits into the shape of it. Which, when the desire is strong enough, it's got a rough idea of its self-image. This tends to mean a more humanoid figure, though it's more often warped in some way–a self-reflection, skewed by said desire. The warping varies on the dead soul’s perception of themselves, the intensity of their desire, how much time passed after death, and how much ectoplasm was present.

In short… no matter how “normal" a ghost looks or acts, it really, truly isn't human. It's animated ectoplasm with a single goal: an obsession. Nothing else. They're more akin to plants than animals, following a single drive with no emotion. They react to stimuli, recognize threats (including other ghosts), and can even imitate human speech and mannerisms to obtain fulfillment of their obsession.

Not “evil" by any stretch, but they're entirely driven by instinct. A tree doesn't pause to consider the rocks it breaks with its roots. A cordyceps doesn't torture its host for fun, or kill with malice. It just does. It follows code in its DNA to survive and multiply–And ghosts just follow the code in its ectoplasm to fulfill its obsession. The more powerful a ghost, the better it's able to overcome obstacles preventing this–whether through brute force, or manipulation. This power is always directly proportional to the amount of ectoplasm present at the time of formation, and how much time passed since death.

What then, does this mean for Danny? Danny, who's previously come to the conclusion that he's only half-ghost, which surely explains how he retained his mind? His independent thoughts and emotions?

What does this mean for Phantom, who experienced an entire world’s worth of ectoplasm condensed as a singularity, at the exact time of his death? Whose strength only grows and begins to exceed every limit they previously thought possible?

If a ghost was as strong as him… could it mimic a human perfectly? Down to a molecular level?

Could it, in its desire to fill an obsession… trick its own fake mind into thinking it was still human? Or half-ghost?

Ancestor work can include pets btw

I never knew a lot of my deceased family, and the ones I did know I didn't know well. I loved my great grandmother, but in reality I didn't know her well, I still honor her and my grandpa who died when I was 3, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't closer to my cats.

My cats were with me my whole life, and theirs, they're my children. I soothe them to sleep by cradling them when they're scared, I sing to them and they sing back, I sleep with them every night. They are my whole world, and I'd do anything for them.

So of course they're honored after death like a blood family member, of course I leave them offerings and speak to them beyond the grave, of course there is space for them on my altars.

Don't let anyone tell you pets deserve less honor than humans in your practice.

Wei Wuxian was “adopted” by the Jiang family, but he refers to Jiang Fengmian as “uncle” and Madam Yu by her title. Wei Wuxian was “adopted” by the Jiang, but he refers to neither Jiang sibling as his siblings, only going so far as to call Jiang Yanli his “shijie” and refer to Jiang Cbeng only by name. Wei Wuxian was “adopted” by the Jiang, but he keeps his original surname (which had to be told to him because street-kid A-Ying only remembered his baby name prior to being found by Jiang Fengmian), is not written into the family records, and only names Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze as his parents across both lives. Wei Wuxian was “adopted” by the Jiang, but nobody treats him like an heir and Jin Zixuan directly says that he should marry Jiang Yanli (insultingly) to become the heir if he likes her so much.

Schrodinger’s adoption: where a person is totally a part of the family except absolutely no one in said family acknowledges that this “family tie” exists, not the “adopters” and certainly not the “adoptee.”

Bonus: Jiang Fengmian treated Wei Wuxian so much better than Jiang Cheng, but he only really expresses concern over his own children’s well-beings and future while allowing Wei Wuxian to mostly do whatever. Jiang Fengmian treated Wei Wuxian so much better than Jiang Cheng, but he allowed his wife to whip and punish Wei Wuxian excessively without a word otherwise, something she does not do to her own children.

when it comes to rituals/offerings/festivals/prayer/etc. i just want to say

late is always better than never, and something is always better than nothing

a day or two late for a festival in your calendar? that’s fine! celebrate it any way!

only have time to light a tea light candle? then light it! even if you only have time to say a short prayer, that’s fine!

if all you have is a small cup of water to offer, then have a quick drink with your gods, ancestors, and other spirits in your life and practice.

as long as you are genuine, your efforts will be appreciated.

Thinking about ragbros and their direct parallel to the twins. The traveler who is widely considered a hero and spends their days protecting teyvat and their sibling who is leading the abyss who seeks to destroy that. Yeah that's a direct parallel to diluc being the protector of mondstat while kaeya is a descendant of the abyss orders founder. Like. Do you think after the traveler finds out about kaeya and Diluc's past they're just. Absolutely floored by how similar they are? And hoyo wants us to be normal about this???

Spirit Work: The Power of Hanging Out

Elaborate rituals, intense meditations, and huge gestures have their places in spirit work. There's value in putting a massive effort into something for the spirits you venerate or work with. And sometimes, you need to do these big things for a particular outcome or as part of your tradition.

I have a bias against big, elaborate rituals for this purpose, though. In my practice, it's just unnecessary. All of the relationships I have and maintain with spirits are, at their cores, friendships. They're not working relationships, they're not worshiper-worshiped relationships, they're not transactional relationships. My spirits are my friends.

So I approach working with them like friendship. I'll light a candle and set a cup of coffee or tea on their altar in the same way I'd offer a friend a cup of tea when they visit. If I'm working on something, I'm accustomed to body doubling as someone with ADHD, and I like to invite my friends to work alongside me. In the same way, I'll invite my spirit friends to participate or just hang around while I work.

Heck, they hang out while I write these posts sometimes!

Not everything in spirit work has to be intense and serious. Yes, you should be respectful -- in the same way that you should be respectful to your neighbors and your friends. And yeah, not all spirits can or should be treated this way.

But I would like to posit the humble power of Hanging Out.

What I Mean By That

Literally. Hanging out.

Whatever you normally do to "call" your spirit(s), do that. My method is lighting a candle of some sort. Sometimes, I'll choose a scented candle if I'm trying to lure a particular spirit to the area, but an unscented taper candle will do just fine.

And then, you hang out. That's it.

If you're watching YouTube, invite the spirit to watch with you. Ask their opinions on what to watch, if you have an easy way to communicate with them. (One of my spirits loves Ghost Hunting TV Shows. He thinks it's hilarious.)

If you're playing a video game, leave space on the couch for the spirit to settle next to you to watch.

Make dinner, chat about your days. Set aside a little plate for them if you want. Eat together.

The Value in Hanging Out

The idea here is that time is valuable​. Time spent with someone else is valuable on its own, even if that time is spent doing little to nothing "productive."

Think about your friends and the people you enjoy spending time with. It isn't always clubs, parties, exploring, hiking, running, traveling, or whatever else you do. Even if that's how you met or your main activity together, there are always casual moments. Easy breakfasts, simple conversations, sleepovers in your PJs, watching movies.

Quality time is powerful. Choosing to spend your time with someone sends a clear message: "I value your presence."

Not everything has to be an elaborate party. Sometimes, all you want is to sit down and hang out.

Why can't it be the same with spirits? The answer is that it can. In my practice, I rarely do anything that elaborate. I'll put extra effort in for special occasions like holidays, but usually, it's a simple act of lighting a candle, saying hello, and then sitting down with the spirit to just hang out.

Not every relationship requires constant, intense focus. Especially if you're looking to befriend​ your spirits, rather than just work with them, the Power of Hanging Out is a valuable asset to keep in mind.

It doesn't have to be every day, either. I have a sort of open, standing invitation for whichever spirits to hang out whenever they like. They're welcome to chill anytime, unless I ask to be left alone. Because of our relationship, they respect that. (Usually -- the only time they don't is if something urgent has come up or they need something.)

I developed the theory of Hanging Out years ago. Spirit work was where I started, and it's always been Home to me. But it's intense sometimes, and a lot of what I was doing was burning me out very, very fast. So I adapted on the fly, as one does, and it ended up working really well.

Now, Hanging Out is my primary method of doing spirit work. Even with spirits I don't know or in new locations, there's value in projecting an aura of "I'm just here to chill. Feel free to talk to me, or don't. It's cool." Spirits, shockingly, respond to that. I end up with a lot of interesting, casual conversations, light taps on the shoulder to let me know I've been acknowledged by something that doesn't want to talk, and various visual anomalies from shy critters in the shadows.

Think of it like slow blinking at a cat or offering the back of your hand to a dog. Approaching respectfully and calmly in a very casual way attracts things that otherwise wouldn't show themselves. The Power of Hanging Out is alluring to even the shyest spirits.

Again, obviously, this won't work for all spirits. Do what works for what you work with. I've found Hanging Out works best with ancestors, house spirits, land spirits, and assorted ghosties over the years. It's not so good with, say, the Good Neighbors. But hey, maybe your experience will differ.

Extra Benefits of Hanging Out

Aside from the relationship benefits of casually sitting and hanging out, there are even more practical benefits. As a side-effect of adapting spirit work in this way to work for me, my senses for spiritual energy shot through the roof.

I've always been pretty sensitive. I'm that weird kid at the next table over in the restaurant who clocked the spirit of your recently-deceased aunt who left you her necklace which you're wearing under your shirt and which I couldn't have possibly seen. But when I started Hanging Out and just existing in a space with spirits, everything sort of... exploded.

It's like recognizing your family's footsteps coming down the hallway. When I stopped trying to force myself to understand and recognize every scrap of energy, it all washed over me instead. And in the Energy Soup, I started to recognize more signs and signals without effort.

This is, in my opinion, the greatest benefit of Hanging Out, even for people who don't do spirit work at all. There's no meditative aspect to it, really (though you can certainly meditate to enhance it, if that's something you do). It's just sitting and being receptive.

I don't think this method will work for everyone. People who have zero sensitivity to spirits may not see any results. But I think it has value even for those people.

At its core, Hanging Out is a mindfulness exercise. If you can't be with spirits, be with yourself. Put the call out to whoever or whatever you work with, venerate, sense -- or things you'd like to get to know better. See what answers.

​Light a candle.

Say, "If you want to come sit with me and watch TV, feel free. I have popcorn."

Hang Out.

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Also, consider throwing a response at my Divination Theory Survey! This is an ongoing research project that needs all the help it can get. Thanks!

Sunny Appreciation time

(rambling about my wof headcannons in tags below!)

steven's hypothetical ancestor, a wandering stone collector who is very normal about rayquaza 🥰

Some of the most useful advice I’ve heard when it comes to spirit discernment and imposter syndrome came from Jason Miller’s Consorting With Spirits. It goes like this:

Engage in an experience without doubt while it is happening. Analyze it critically after it is over.

This method has allowed me to have much deeper and more vivid spirit communications, because I’m not second-guessing everything while it’s happening. Then, thinking critically once the cards are back in the box allows me to really unpack the experience.

Coins are Essential to Hellenic Worship and Witchcraft

In Ancient Greece Drachmae (the coins/currency of the time) were used not just in everyday life but honoring the dead. It was believe that coins were offered to the deceased right before they were buried. The coins were given to grant the spirits passage to the underworld by paying Charon who will ride across Acheron, a river in the underworld to the afterlife, fearing they will get stuck on the shores if they don’t have the payment to cross. Though it is a very old superstition it is still very important to offer such a gift to the spirits that crossed over, though whether you don’t believe such a belief or do about paying the ferryman the act of the gesture is a sign of great respect and admiration for the departed. Collect your spare change and don’t be afraid to use them for various reasons:

- Offer them to your ancestors.

- Place a coin on gravestones when you visit a cemetery.

- Offer coins to your deities as money being one of the great sacrifices to give to them even if it’s just a penny.

You can also do spell work with coins as charms, divination (flipping heads or tails), talismans, focal point of power, etc.

"Most people treat ancestor work like it's a trade, a transaction: they help us, we give offerings, and that's that. Lord, if that ain't further from the truth. In this work you will meet ancestors who weren't very good in life, who bring to light the sins of your blood, and you will be faced with the task of healing these generational wounds."

- Jake Richards, "Backwoods Witchcraft"

I had an extremely special experience recently.

Not long ago, I met a pagan from our local area—which is decently rare with how rural and evangelical this region is—and ended up making plans with my husband to visit the commune she lives on further into the woods from us.

The commune itself was pretty amazing and unusual, and it's hard for me to do it justice without writing up a whole story about it, but suffice it to say that it's a very powerful and fascinating place. One especially striking aspect of this commune is the fact that there is a singular pioneer grave from 1901 hidden in the forest, not too far from them, which has been visited and propitiated by member of this commune for decades.

The man buried there was said to be an Irish immigrant who lived in a homestead nearby with his "close male companion of many years" before being buried alone there. Though, now, he is a beloved figure to this queer punk collective in the woods, and they sometimes bring him things like tobacco, beer, and coins as offerings.

It was such a joy and an honor to be shown this sacred place by the people who have watched over it for years, as well as being given leave to visit it. When I met him initially, I left a naturally round and smooth green jasper stone that I found by the sea upon his headstone. These pictures were taken on my second visit, wherein I brought him tobacco and rum, and received a clear omen shortly thereafter that it was alright for me to photograph.

What a truly wonderful place.

I’ve heard some people saying you can’t or shouldn’t work with your ancestors if you’re white. I think this is an exaggeration of what is actually reasonable. Use discernment! Not all your ancestors were bad people. Perhaps most are. But you DONT have to work with those rotten ones (Nazis, sexists, homophobes, abusive assholes, slave owners). The truth is, not everyone in history was evil like that. Did your white ancestors benefit from white privilege? ABSOLUTELY. So do ALL white people, even the ones who don’t like or subscribe to racism. Even current living ones. The misconception with ancestor work is that you have to apparently “like everything about them and treat them like a flawless deity”. Which is so SO wrong. You should treat your ancestors like you’d treat your living family and friends! If your friend started calling someone homophobic or racist slurs would you continue to take their advice and hang out with them? NO. So, ultimately what I’m saying is that discernment is key. My white great grandmother was an amazing woman. She wasn’t perfect, but she was beautiful and strong of heart. She was a bold and flamboyant woman, and was an advocate for women expressing their sexuality and pursuing their dreams at a time when that was absolutely frowned upon. She made mistakes, but she grew from them. I had the honor of having her in my earlier years of life. And she didn’t discriminate against the lgbtq community, in fact was friends with a lot of gays because they were working in the same industry as her (dancing, modeling, art, etc). I love her and I love working with her. I honor the right things she did, and I learn from the problematic decisions she made and regrets. So yeah, don’t discount your ancestors just cause they’re white. There’s a good chance they‘lol be racist. But there’s an off chance that instead they’d actually genuinely ok people who you can learn from their experiences. I hope this post doesn’t come off wrong. I’m not saying honor racists and homophobes. I’m saying don’t throw out the nice babies with the yucky bath water.

Reblog with polite corrections or perspectives if you find this wrong or dumb in anyway! I’d love feedback and am willing to hear others perspectives!