IT’S UP!!! LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

ENJOY CHAPTER 14 LOVELIES!!!

Technically the ending where Durge rejects Bhaal is freedom in the same sense that Astarion was free of Cazador when a mind flayer shoved a tadpole in his eye-socket.

No, your master can't take direct control of your body anymore or take over your will.

Your master is, however, still very much out there. He is more powerful than you. He has plans for you. He is furious at you, his property, for defying him, running away and interfering with those plans.

WotC canon has twice overridden the original games to show that all the Bhaalspawn who were "freed" were pawns of Bhaal in the end.

There's that goddamn delightful letter you might get in the epilogue that flat out tells you that Bhaal's not done with you, and you will not escape your designated function as a stud in his plan to reboot the Bhaalspawn Crisis. (Strictly speaking, damaging your reproductive organs won't stop this: Bhaal's a deity. Who do you think is giving clerics their healing spells?)

Evil deities very much do punish transgressions against them by their followers and apostates, "if the offense [is] serious enough, major transgressions may even be punished by death in whatever form the deity has the power to arrange." Your best way to avoid that one, as far as I remember, is to get your way into the good graces of another deity who has the power to challenge your old boss and can protect you. (Although becoming a cleric did nothing to save any other Bhaalspawn from their father...)

Now is a good time to fucking panic. Hopefully, Jergal picking up the leash is good enough protection to keep them out of Bhaal's hands. Durge will likely look back on Astarion's willingness to risk his soul going to Raphael if it means escaping Cazador with great understanding - "..."better the devil you know." [...] And I'll take anything that saves me from that."

Time to start researching gods and Bhaalspawn and coming up with contingency plans!

Sure, you can kill Bhaal, but that's significantly harder than killing most things and the bastard does not stay dead, as he has illustrated. Vestiges are still dangerous, and Sarevok and the Other One were both taken over while he was dead. You are not freed by his death.

I wonder if moving to Sigil would work; gods can't access the city, but I'm not sure the Lady of Pain forbids them meddling with their followers/escaped servants from afar... I need to refresh my Planescape knowledge...

would you ever write a modern/no-powers au for dreamling/sandman?

"Look, Mee," Hob says, for the fourth or fifth time that conversation. "I'm sure your brother is, uh, great, but I'm not sure -- "

"Come on," his best friend says, also for the fourth or fifth time that conversation. "Honestly, you'd be doing me a massive favor. I can barely get him out of the house most days, so I figured that at least the two of you could faff off and be really pathetic together?"

"Thanks." Hob switches the phone to his other ear and glares suspiciously out at the garden; when you've got two small children and it's quiet, you figure something's gone terribly amiss. Robyn and Alison haven't burnt the place down or gotten run over in traffic, but they're playing with something small, muddy and possibly still alive, and Hob debates whether he has to sprint out and save them from certain death. "You're a great friend, truly."

"I know," Morticia says airily. That does, bewilderingly, seem to be her actual name (were her parents massive Addams Family fans or something?) but with Hob and the rest of her friends, she generally goes by Mors, or Mee for short. He looked it up once. Ancient Roman god(dess) of death, which made him laugh, at least when it didn't kick him in the teeth. "You can thank me later."

"And I want to spend time with your brother... why?"

"Because." Oh God, here it comes. He can hear her trying not to say it, the same way everyone's tried not to say it in the going-on-eighteen months since his wife went into an ordinary central-London NHS hospital to give birth to their second child and didn't come back out. "You know it would be good for you, Robbie."

"Right." Hob's voice turns wry. "Can't have me wallowing alone in my misery? You know I've got the kids to look after, and they're talking about extending my contract at Birkbeck. I'm keeping busy."

Keeping busy. It always sounds stupid, even if it's the truth. Like you can chase overwhelming, soul-crushing grief away just by getting out of bed and making breakfast for the kids, holding Robyn's hand as you trundle off on the school run and tell him to have a good day, the thousand and one ways you think you're massively arsing this up and Ellie would have been so much better. Every time the doorbell rings or someone comes up the walk, he thinks -- for a stupid moment he thinks -- and then of course it isn't. You think about women dying in childbirth like it's something out of medieval times, or some third-world country. Not in England in the twenty-first century. Not in London. Not as if your daughter is beautiful and bright and alive, and every time you look at her, you remember that her mother isn't, and the happiness you feel is poisoned by grief again, cold and blue and endless as the ocean. You laugh with the kids at some Disney cartoon one moment, and the next, you're crying alone in the kitchen, in bed, in the silent darkness. And no matter how much you ask, she doesn't answer. You think she does, sometimes. You're just fooling yourself.

You know, Hob thinks. Maybe it would be good for him. At least it would let him spend time with (if Mee's account is anything to go by) the one man in all of London more pathetic than him. It doesn't have to be anything more than that. Even if she is trying to set him up, she wouldn't admit it. She isn't, surely? Trying to match her brother off with her best friend, widowed-single-dad-part-time-lecturer who's clinging onto sanity by the bare edge of his fingernails? Right? Fuck. Should never have told her that he's bi. Doubled her meddling possibilities at a stroke. And yet. He's so lonely, he almost doesn't care.

"Fine," Hob says resignedly. "I'll see if I can get a sitter for the kids. And it better not be that grotty brewery in Shepherd's Bush you dragged me to last time."

"No." Mee sounds like she's laughing at him. She probably is laughing at him, or else she thinks he's become such a pathologically undatable freak that his only chance for happiness ever again is with her equally pathetic little brother. "Nice new Asian-fusion place. Hammersmith. Fifteen minutes from you on the Tube. Don't chicken out, Robert."

And with that, well --

There's pretty much no choice.

Hob finds a sitter for the kids, promises to pay her twenty quid an hour (it's London, after all), and grumblingly picks out some clothes. He's not good at this. It's been almost ten years since he was dating anyone, and Eleanor was from a rich enough family that there was no chance of ever impressing her parents; he could have turned up in anything from Savile Row to a bloody dishcloth and they still would have hated him. Then he finds himself fucking around to the point where he's going to be late, the Tube will be a nightmare anyway, and panics again and rushes out the door with barely a word about what to feed the kids and when to put them to bed. Is nice Olivia from down the street judging him? She almost surely is.

Hob grimly toddles off to Hammersmith, exits into a light rain, and spends an inordinate amount of time searching for the restaurant. When he finally steps inside, he's not quite sure who he's looking for. Mee texted him a picture of her brother, but Hob has trouble believing that such a pale, pasty, and terminally uncharismatic twink could ever be related to her. One of them has to be adopted, and he's laying money on this one, whose name is -- no, seriously -- Morpheus. Morticia and Morpheus. What is wrong with their parents? Determined to doom their children to an eternity of primary-school torment?

Hob contemplates turning around and leaving, but now he's come this far, Olivia will definitely judge him if he returns within the hour, and frankly, he's judging himself. Even worse, he's fairly sure he's just spotted his man. Morpheus (come on, really?) is sitting by himself at a corner table, looking appropriately dark and broody, in his emo-goth dark coat and toilet-brush hair. Just like the photo. He's admittedly not bad-looking in person; he's got a pale, chiseled beauty that is briefly arresting, almost unearthly. Still, though. Definitely a wanker.

"Hello," Hob says, deciding to bite the bullet. He strides over, hand outstretched. "I'm Robert Gadling, and I think you're the bloke I'm supposed to be meeting? I know your sister."

Morpheus's mouth makes a small lemon-sucking motion. He rises to his feet, regards Hob's hand as if not certain what to do with it and/or wondering if he can get away with not touching it, and finally shakes it, brief and cold and dry. "I am," he says curtly. "You may sit."

Well, good. Glad they got His Majesty's permission. No unauthorized sitting happening here, no sir. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Hob puts his bag on the floor and slides into the chair across from Morpheus. Like every Londoner at a loss for a better opening line, he reaches for the weather. "Shame about this piss, isn't it? And it was all the way up to twenty degrees last week. Did you have to come far?"

"No," Morpheus says, still not displaying any particular delight in being forced to spend this evening in the presence of another human being and looking as if he is very much hoping the floor will suddenly open up and swallow him. "Not far."

Hob waits, in vain, on the chance that Morpheus might elaborate. He does not. Well. This is going swimmingly. Are they on a date? Did Mee tell him that they were on a date? Is Hob sure this isn't an extremely elaborate prank, and she just plucked one of her single friends from the vast and bewildering mystery of her acquaintances? Truly, it is no wonder that Morpheus is, in fact, unattached. He's got the personality of a soggy rag and the face of -- well, not that. He is pretty. But Hob is not that shallow. Thanks very much.

Conversation suffers badly until they order drinks and food; or rather Hob orders, and Morpheus says that he'll take just a glass of wine. He does loosen up slightly as they talk; Hob does most of that, but Morpheus listens with cool, intent attention. From time to time he asks a question, but he doesn't interrupt, and finally Hob, trying to make it as light-hearted as "my wife died eighteen months ago and this is the first not-date I've been on ever since" can possibly be, admits it. He braces for Morpheus to get up, to run, to fire off an indignant text to Morticia or anything else, but he doesn't. He just nods once. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I know that it is... difficult."

All of a sudden, Hob is forced to consider the startling and unsettling possibility that Morpheus himself knows something about this. He can't say why or how that might be, but life is full of mysteries. "I -- yeah." It's an abject relief to say it and to have someone acknowledge it simply and matter-of-factly, not smother him with sympathy or cluck about how hard it is. "So if I'm off my game, that, uh. That's why."

Morpheus thinks about that for a long moment. Then all at once, out of nowhere, he smiles. It completely transforms his face, it twists like a fishhook in Hob's gut, and all of a sudden, he wonders in alarm if he is, in fact, entirely that shallow after all. "Believe me, Hob Gadling," Morpheus says. "It has very much been my pleasure."

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-3x8: Let The Games Begin, aka Let The ShitCircus Begin (Part 3)

Luke Danes! Lorelai Gilmore! They are: The Abstinence (For Other People But Not Themselves) Brigade! They can detect bubbling teenage hormones from a mile away and will do anything in their power to stop them! Jess Mariano, with his awe inspiring ability to telepathically impregnate naive virgins in 1 nanosecond without removing any clothes, doesn't stand a chance! Thank god we have you, Luke Danes and Lorelai Gilmore! The Cockblocking Crusaders! The Dry Hump Destroyers! Scene: Our Handjob-Halting Hero, Luke Danes, has just interrupted an extremely chaste attempt at a kiss in progress. After witnessing his nephew openly groping Shane Campbell and likely several other girls in public and in his diner and his home over Horny Summer 2002, interrupting a kiss with Rory Gilmore with no tongue is just ONE STEP OVER THE DAMN LINE for Blowjob-Blocking-Batman!

I dare say, that was a stupid metaphor from our Intercrouse-Interrupting-Ironman.

There are frequent Sock on the Door references in this show. The thing is you hang a sock on the door to let other people know you're having sex and they won't barge in. Too bad Sex-Stifling-Superman here wouldn't abide by The Sock anyhow. Netflix borked the captions big time here, but there is a loud argument between Luke and Jess about the sock joke, with Luke yelling at Jess that there will be "no socks on the door in my house" and I'm just thinking how weird this conversation would sound if you didn't know wtf they were talking about. Luke, less than 5 minutes earlier (and I quote): Wow! WOW! This is great! Wow! Rory and Jess! Jess and Rory! This is great! Don’t you think this is great! They're only great if they reproduce asexually like snails, I suppose. When he thought Jess was doing much worse things with Shane in his own home, his response was certainly not a pleased one, but it was... different. So it's okay if he hooks up with a skanky blond girl he barely knows, because who cares if he takes a ride on the town bicycle, right? But when it comes to Rory, her purity must be protected at all costs by other adults. Ha, funny how that worked out. I know Luke doesn't think JESS is still a virgin.

He looks so defeated, and he WASNT EVEN DOING ANYTHING. Please don't make me turn on Luke, Tumblr. I already have so little left to live for watching this show.

But that's where they were the first time, Uncle Luke.

THANK. YOU. JESSTOPHER. You're so smart. *pinches cheeks*

The more I'm thinking about this notion that Luke is trying to protect Rory's virginity from Jess, where Rory is a newly minted adult and not even his relative, she's just the daughter of some annoying lady who comes into his diner and doesn't pay for her food, but "Jess doesn't need a guardian" if he'd like to fuck around with random girls of questionable purity, becaue he's a boy I guess, the weirder it sounds. This is just another fiber woven into the rich tapestry of "the young women of gilmore girls who lose their virginity will pay the price with a horrible experience or mental anguish" (Young Lorelai, Rory, Paris, Lane, possibly even Lindsay, god help her).

(girls only). Jess: What do you think is gonna happen? Luke: You KNOW what I think is gonna happen.

You know what, how about he doesn't and we say he did. Awkward.

If she’s not too distracted porking Dean to notice, as soon she found out Dean was a free agent she was all over that like a fat kid on cake.

I saw what Jess got away with at the summer bash. I wouldn't exactly count on Taylor Doose for his Makeout Meddling abilities.

Luke looking all smug like "yeah that was great parenting right there. Damn, I’m such a good Dunkel (DadUncle). He’ll never think about humping again.” Good luck.

Episode 6 Rewatch

Well the past impression didn't lie, ep 6 is pretty heart-wrenching.

The highlights:

Want to hug Crystal, Monty and Edwin one by one and altogether 😖

Crystal because of how desperate she sounded when saying "yes I'm nothing special so LEAVE ME ALONE" - I'm not sure if she meant it or not, but the will to admit anything, no matter how humiliating it is if it means relief, that her stalker would finally fuck off, - was enough to feel for her so much. Crystal is so cool and this was such a raw scene 😭

Also her safe place that will be with her i matter what, no matter any mistakes - you just CAN'T go wrong with it, it's THIS unconditional - and is at the same time has been within her all along still makes me tear up. I lack this - confidence, acceptance, just some inner grounds to stand on. Of course I create it by the power of will and mind, but gods I wish I could have smth like this. So that final understanding - it's been inside you all along - is what does it for me. I know this scene is supposed to show the power of Crystal's ancestry, that she always has her roots and they are good and strong, and this is very important. But I come from a different background and am not really attached to both my family lines, so to me this scene was about finding the inner grounds within oneself, self-acceptance and learning to be compassionate towards oneself unconditionally. No one will give it to you (in adult life there's no such thing as an unconditional love if the relationship is healthy), you have to do it yourself first and foremost. So it was very... therapeutic.

Akso I kinda envy Charles because he got to protect Crystal and kick that demon's ass. The scene was so well-built that I really wanted to do that myself. This doesn't happen often. You go Charles! <3

Now, Monty - because of what I was talking about in my previous rewatch post, mostly him coping with rejection (badly, which is normal for a teenager even if he's a magical one and especially when he's been a crow just a few days ago and all this feelings stuff is new), finding a new light when Edwin said he still cares a great deal, the quarrel (Edwin I know why you went into a defensive mode and don't judge you for that but I'm still JUDGING ON AVERAGE who's older between you two?!) and then just... spilling all the beans to Esther while KNOWING she won't take it well. Did he feel suicidal or something? 🥹

I also want to talk about this:

But that's a topic for another post and not just about DBD.

And, finally, Edwin. Save for his immature "you're still a crow" (again, completely understandable but I'm still judging) he's been coping like a king. Having a talk with Monty (also I guess it's a parallel with how he will feel in ep 7 after his confession to Charles 🥹), telling the Cat King off (MORE angry Edwin who doesn't hold back, pls, that was A SIGHT ❤️‍🔥 I generally like it A LOT how he's gradually unwinding as the series goes, letting out his emotions one by one - fear, anger, swearing - it's a very good and not that easy to learn thing), apologizing to Crystal (and their dynamic in general, pls I like it so much), and finally gathering his courage to talk to Charles and confess his feelings, not letting any of Charles' assumptions sway him from this decision. The last one is the most raw, I was just clenching my fists and tensing all over. I know how hard and terrifying it is to admit something to your partner, your best and closest friend, to the person you treasure the most in the world - something that may make you lose them. But also Edwin was absolutely right - once you recognize these feelings, it's nearly impossible to keep them in. I did so for months and they were eating me inside out, so I can't help admiring his courage. Yes this whole situation hits very close to home for me in more ways than one, why

Another highlight is Niko's reconciliation with Jenny. I really like the way it was handled because yes, Niko was wrong to meddle and she should learn to respect others' boundaries, no, Jenny wasn't obliged to have a talk with her. But Niko is a teenager who's not that great socially-wise (and autistic-coded), she's just learning how to navigate all this, and I understand her drive to help people, to do good very well. She made a mistake with a terrible aftermath and has to learn her lesson AND to take the responsibility. And Jenny CHOSE to give her this opportunity - probably because she recognized the situation as something similar that happened to her some time in the past, onky by the looks of it there was no one there for her, so she didn't want Niko to suffer the same. This plot line is beautiful no matter what side you look at it from. It's kind, and gods know we could all use as much kindness as possible now.

The forest elemental my dear <3

Also, what does PLV 4s mean?

P.S. During this episode I started noticing Charles positively staring at Edwin. The whole Monty's entrance sequence on the roof? Charles didn't take his eyes off Edwin, it was A LONG stare. Like. Sorry bro there was nothing straight about it, and I'm not even crazy about the ship in the first place because I've been on either side of their povs and both aren't great. So I'd say I have as little bias as possible in this case and it was still NOTHING STRAIGHT. Bro. Your bi awakening is obviously waiting for you in s2 if it happens.

I'm super torn on whether I think the Skyrim protag being both Dragonborn and Shezzarine is a physically possible thing but like, it's a really fun and chaotic concept concept. The LDB as a mess of opposing forces, anuic Aka/Akatosh and padomaic Lorkhan/Shor squeezed into a body that's already too small, fragile and finite for the demi-time-god-being soul it hosts.

The Dragonborn concept works to a degree without Shezzarine influence: a shard of Akatosh, ultimately derived from the soul of stasis itself, but influenced by its own mortal existence. People are, by nature, driven by the mix of static and chaotic forces that created Mundus in the first place. A Dragonborn's draconic/Akatosh-derived nature will always be affected, whether offset or enhanced, by their mortality. Look at how wielding the dragon tongue comes so naturally to them, and they use it to almost effortlessly produce shouts that other dragons can't even conceptualize.

So having a shard of Lorkhan in there kind of enhances the internal chaos I guess, for better and worse? I mean, which side drives them in the end? Was the world supposed to be destroyed by Alduin, since Alduin is a natural offshoot of the time god? Even Paarthurnax and the Greybeards suggest this world might just be the egg of the next kalpa, the predecessor to another world in the natural "life-cycle" of existence. It's assumed that Akatosh created the Last Dragonborn to stop Alduin, maybe to extend his own reign over time and existence. Or did the time dragon know the end was coming? Was the natural death of the world expected by Akatosh, and was the Last Dragonborn ever actually sent to stop Alduin at all?

Is it that shard of Lorkhan that drives them to fight Alduin, prepared to induce change and shake up the natural order, and to preserve the grand project that Lorkhan created on Nirn in the first place? Or would that side of them have actually embraced the change and coming of a new world, the next step in the development of beings able to achieve what Mundus was designed for?

Is a Shezzarine-Dragonborn affected by the dragon souls they collect? Does it strengthen their position as a fragment of the time god, pushing against the Shezzarine influence inside them? Would that drive them to offset with more chaotic pursuits in an attempt to shake things up, to reinforce that other side before it's quashed altogether (siding with every Daedric Prince they come across. Leading thirty factions at once. Going to war and revolutionizing the leadership of a province they potentially arrived in only a short time ago. Joining a murder squad and assassinating people for Sithis. That sort of thing)

Remember how in Hermaeus Mora's quest, he asks you to open a lockbox promising the Heart of Lorkhan inside- or at least, Septimus Signus is falsely under that impression. Was that tempting to a LDB who knows it is their heart? Like, it CAN'T be their heart because their heart is gone, but what if it WAS and what if it IS still in there and there's so many dragon souls plastered to their own it's smothering the other side of them (and now Hermaeus Mora has his grubby little tentacles meddled in their affairs and they can't help but keep following along. He chose the right thing to tempt them with and now their path is intertwined with him)

Now they're holding a bow, and it's their bow, it was made to fit in their hands (or some part of them, Auri-el's hands), and it's also the weapon that fired their torn-out heart across the skies. They can use it to bring Auri-el's power to Nirn. They also have the option to corrupt it with a Daedric champion's blood and block the light of Aetherius altogether. A great big fuck you to the Aedra in Aetherius and to Auri-el. But would they ever go as far as Harkon and completely corrupt the bow, even if they were a vampire and benefitted from the dark, when the light is intrinsically a part of them, when they are derived from the same being as Auri-el? When the light that fires from sunhallowed arrows comes from a source of power that is so intimately familiar?

The day mk abandoned the kung fu death tournament high eastern fantsy aesthetic and then copied the Dcu/mcu aesthetic

Is the day mk fuckin died. It started with the cash grab crossover, then the dlc guest characters, and now this convoluted inconsistent assassination of characters.

Examples:

sin\del (was supposed to be manipulated by dark magiks from q=uan chi. Was never fuckin evil and never killed jerrod bc SH/AO KAH/N DID AND THATS SCREWING HIS CHARACTER OVER TOO all for some mommy dommy milf fantasy which is absolutely from a "hetcis man's" gaze dont fool yourself)

ku\ng la\o (turned him into a second banana cocky type and just keep killing him for shock value when before he kinda never got this treatment. He was is and always WILL be li/u kan/g's equal in skill and warriors heart)

ra\iden (a LITERAL GOD who was so strong he was only bound by the rules of mortal kombat and the elder gods and his soft spot for mortals and loyalty to protecting earthrealm, kind and wise. Turned into a supposed dEmi-GOd who was willing to use the realm that was his charge as a fucking bargaining chip to a man who's more untrustworthy than shan/g ts/ung, he's hardly around OR he's suddenly not as powerful until he remembers he can obliterate ppl with lightning, he's a cold hardass who's so alien to mortals emotions despite being around them longer and basically raising one like his own son)

li\u k\ang (turned into basically every shonen protagonist ever type levels of character development, gets fucked over in the romance department Although kit/ana has her fair share of problems with writing too, becomes a god in the most deus ex machina way possible and is so intrusive to kun/g la/o and his legacy to meddle with the great kung lao like some sort of savior bs)

sha\ng tsun\g before aftermath (having his whole ass character trashed to the side for some milf dominatrix fantasy in 9 is the only reason i fucking need here lbh)

son\ya (her whole character is stale and practically revolved around the fact she fucks and marries a dude she's so incompatible with just bc of "we need the original characters to make next gen characters we dont care if they're compatible lol" literally has an accidental pregnancy literally divorced jo/hny and then fucking dies, and then comes back anyways "but its the version fans like right oh btw shove in the fact that Son/ya's purpose is to malke cas/sie and thats it shes just mom character now but #gurlboss am i right plz buy game")

ja/x (gets traumatized to hell and back for very little payoff used as depression fetish exploitation, at least his tower ending is great despite the "#woke" bs, his daughter however has the most fucked ending to basically erase herself to make j/ax happy like???? Sonya literally has an avengers/justice league ass tower ending all peachy keen but the black woman cant have any happiness huh mmm sure ok yeah.)

Jacq/ui (honestly im not too into her character but when i heard about her tower ending it pissed me off so much and made me hate the writing even more like oh some characters get basically whatever they wanted no consequence but some characters are doomed to be fucked??? Like hello favoritism MUCH?!? -coughhanzosgodofwarripofftowerendingcough-)

with new characters added that have so much potential but poor execution (i mean seriously you wanna tell me ce/trion and kroni/ka actually killed the elder gods THE ELDER GODS AKA THE BIG POWERFUL DIVINE COUNSEL but have trouble with making rai/d/en and li/u fi/ght and kill each other??? Let alone try to kill one at a time??)

I do like some things like kolle/ctor and ge/rus and cet/rion like i like those characters but by god cetr/ion was wasted potential you cant drop her brother was fucking shinn/ok and then proceed to basically make her some weak errand girl who i feel in the end is making fun of the "divine feminine gaia" aesthetic like the writing wants her to be the bad guy but also sympathetic in the dumbest way possible and she sounds like someone on Twitter who just learned about the concept of "balance" and slaps buddha quotes incorrectly

Also i never cared for shin/nok until recently when i was like "hey wait no his concept kinda slaps actually"

At the end of the day we all have our opinions i guess. And mine is: mk new timeline is written by people who like superheroes movies when mk should be written by people who like kung fu movies

Finally started Kaveh’s hangout (finally, seriously) and completed one of the three main branches.

This was the one about working with his suspicious but ultimately idealistic client to build a library out in Aaru Village.

Overall, not much to say about this one. It’s mid personified, not terrible, not great, just a thing that exists now.

The only real commentary I have is regarding how hilariously off the fic portrayals of Kaveh are, compared to how he actually turns out to be. He basically tells his client to fuck off once there’s too many revisions requested and too many dumb layman comments. He’s hilariously focused on maintaining a good and nice image when telling off clients, but not really concerned about the telling off itself. He’s indeed kind of gullible and stupid about things, but he’s not unaware of scammers and such. He just doesn’t think things through. He’s also, interestingly, very aware of his own (past, potentially?) guilt issues and talks about them very directly and calmly. He even pays his own and your bill at the tavern. 

Anyway, some screenshots:

I just like this one.

Kaveh bitching about Alhaitham. It’s a very interesting question how accurate is Kaveh’s perspective on Alhaitham, since he often says things that seem to be quite different from what we see, like saying Alhaitham has a temper. Where did he get that idea? 

But on the other hand, Kaveh’s first thought after getting back post archon quest is to accuse Alhaitham of trying to seize power in the Akademiya which... is so far off from Alhaitham’s actual personality that it makes Kaveh look outright delusional. 

Kaveh isn’t actually cheap to work with, and he only takes high-end projects on the whole. He outright tells a client when he feels they’re being ridiculous about hiring someone of his caliber. 

This is part of a mention toward what is art and what is artistic vision, which doesn’t really go further in this particular branch. 

However, I have to say, like so much of Genshin writing, this particular section has a bizarre swerve into “is it inspiration from the gods.” Like, bro, why did that suddenly come in. 

Also, this section read like the writers bitching about getting their glorious vision meddled with, and it made me roll my eyes. 

Similar to Heizou’s hangout, this one gives more follow up to the internal tensions of the nation that couldn’t be addressed in the archon quest. And the solution is the same: the correct and rightful archon is in charge now, so everything is going swimmingly. 

But I do admit they at least tried to bring up some points about how it’s not a simple process (though more as an excuse for why this story can even happen). 

I wonder if this is the story of what Kaveh got up to during the archon quest? It’s pretty dumb: He noticed a guy whose house looked like it was going to collapse, so he offered to help build a new one. The guy said he had no money, so Kaveh lent him some. The guy gambled it all away... and Kaveh lent him some two more times. And in the end, the guy tried to have mercenaries kill Kaveh in his own house. 

I don’t even know what to say. 

This is a minor point, but I am eternally disappointed how everyone in modern day Genshin can’t do anything except graverob when they need to build a cool thing. 

All of you are losers who are unworthy of the truly great creators of the distant past. Make your own dang mechanical cores??

The entire section of one of the endings just reads like that joke about getting a good grade in therapy. 

For someone who completely flipped out at Alhaitham for just mentioning his guilt issues, Kaveh is awfully calm discussing them in detail with a near stranger. He just goes on for like a dozen dialogue boxes analyzing himself and it’s like... I’d prefer if we had a bit more showing, you know? Something actually happening? That would be nice. 

On the whole, I guess I would characterize this writing as being kind of amateur? The writer is aware of like, characterization, and tries to weave it into the dialogue, but their attempts at being casual about it just come across as contrived and a bit weird. 

Warbreaker Book Review

(spoilers, obviously)

I have lately finished my fourth read of Warbreaker, and it's probably my least favorite of Sanderson's Cosmere books. I know it's a favorite of a lot of fans, and I fully expected to like it just as much as them but... I was disappointed.

To be clear, this is still a good book, I just like it less than the other Cosmere books. I'm mostly going to complain about what I didn't like because that's more fun to write about, but again, I did overall like the book. I'd give it a strong 6/10, and I have liked more upon every re-read. I think part of that is because once i had read it once, I knew what was coming, and so wasn't as easily bogged down in directionless boredom...which unfortunately is what happened to me the first time I read it.

This book has lots of strong points--the characters are wonderful, the worldbuilding is great, and the magic system is perhaps the most unique I've ever seen.

But the plot. Oh, the plot.

Nothing fucking happens for like the whole middle of the book! It was so frustrating! I really enjoyed living in its world, but every time I opened it up to hang out there, nothing was going on! All three main POVs--Lightsong, Vivenna, and Siri, spend almost the entire book at a total loss for what to do. There's no direction, no forward momentum, because all three of them don't know what they're doing.

It's like reading a mystery book where the detective, instead of going out and looking for clues, interviewing suspects, and putting the pieces together, just had chapter after chapter of him thinking to himself "Hm. Something's definitely going on here. But I don't know what and I don't know what I'm looking for. But I sure do need to solve the case."

Vivenna spends almost the whole book being led around by Denth, and we aren't even privy to the plans he tells her, so we don't have an opportunity to guess what's coming. Every Vivenna chapter is just "And here I am in (place) doing (thing) because Denth said it was a good idea. Also everyone here is a slut except me."

Lightsong is useless on purpose, which is very charming and I love him. But again, every Lightsong chapter is the same. "War might be coming. Maybe I will do something about it (does nothing about it). Also I hate being a god."

Siri is trapped in the palace, and her storyline is probably the best, because I at least got to watch her developing relationship with Susebron, which was adorable. And hey, forward momentum! But again, nothing comes of her chapters! She knows something is going on, but doesn't know what, and has no way to get information. She tries to get information, but the priests in the palace hold all the power and she never really gets around that.

It just feels like each POV character got one (1) opportunity to take an action that had an effect on the story. Vivenna went with Vasher. Siri talked to Susebron about...stuff? But nothing came of it, plot-wise. Lightsong had that one scene where he was a detective. And the rest was wheel spinning.

Think about it, if you removed all three main characters, the outcome would have been the same. Without Vivenna's meddling, Vasher's initial efforts would have been more successful and he wouldn't have needed her help to undo the damage. Without investigating, Lightsong still would have ended up in that basement to heal Susebron because he held the Lifeless codes from the very beginning. And if Siri hadn't been there, Susebron still would've been taken to that basement and healed by Lightsong. And he said from the very beginning he didn't want war with anyone, so once he got healed he would've ordered the stop of the Hallandren-Idris war regardless.

It feels like you could cut out half the book and it'd be the same. I don't think it's a coincidence that my favorite POV to read was the one that was the shortest and thus had the least bloat.

I understand that there are in-universe reasons why the characters do so little, and it doesn't have to be a bad thing, but when 100% of your main characters spend the story accomplishing almost nothing, while talking endlessly about how important it is that they accomplish things, it is extremely frustrating.

A book driven by characters instead of plot can still be good, of course, but so much focus and word count is spent on the plot and the intrigue of this book, and for nothing.

And now that I have done exactly what I am criticizing Sanderson for, i.e. reiterating the same thing over and over ad nauseum repetitively, I shall bid you farewell.

hey so if i released a few FF7 central playlists to make you sob your eyes out how would you guys feel lol

and for context here are the ones I’ve been working on:

The Halves That Left the Hole [devotion to the point of devastation]: a playlist dedicated to the fall of Angeal and Genesis. Tragic, melancholy, with tints of violence

The Trinity (Of Tragedies and Flights) [the love that tore the world to shreds]: a playlist dedicated to the three original Firsts, the sad and lost love story of Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth. Slow, indulgent, incredulous but loving

The Star-Crossed [when you left I became your legacy, but I tried to leave myself behind]: you guessed it, a playlist for Zack and Cloud and their missed opportunities. A little upbeat in some places, but overall an undertone of unspoken love and hopeless romanticism

The Trinity (Of Flowers and Reunions) [the love that saved the world]: Dedicated to Tifa, Cloud, and Aerith, and reminiscent of their journey around the world together. Mostly upbeat, a more joyful playlist for the time they spent together with the bittersweetness of looking back on something you can never have again

Lieutenant Colonel [to lead is to be lonely]: Dedicated to Zack’s promotion to First and his simultaneous losses of…all three of his lovers. And then being thrown into a war. It’s a WIP but it’s coming out about as bleak and tragic as it sounds.

The Halves That Left the Hole is by far the most complete playlist so it’s probably the one I’ll put out first lol. If you guys are into that ofc :)))

EDIT: IT’S OFFICIALLY UP!! I have it pinned on my page if you’re interested :))

MIND GAMES 1

Bonten men are ruthless but so is she.

CW: Violence,Age-gap,Foul Language,Suggestive, MDNI.

MASTERLIST

Next

-Intentions-

"Can you for the love of god step off that goddamn edge?" Taiju nervously pleaded. Despite of the sunny weather the wind is still strong and it could easily push her off the building and every second that she remained on the egde accelerates his anxiety.

Smirking she turned around to face him. He knew she's planning something and he doesn't like it. Not one bit.

"Goddamit. Stop playing around." He barks frustrated at her dangerous actions.

Taiju and her father had been great friends and he didn't hesitate to take her in when her father told him she has no one to stay with. Her father didn't want her anywhere near American soil since she has made alot of deadly powerful enemies leaving him no choice but to entrust his estranged daughter with his dear friend.

"Don't do anything stupid. I swear to god."

Taiju felt his heart stopped when she opened her arms widely, closed her eyes and started to fall back. His world started to slow down even though he's rushing to reach her. She is too fucking reckless and she never feared death and she never hesitated to look death in the eyes.

"I SAID DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!" He yelled as he dragged her away from the edge.

"I knew you'd come and save me." The deranged girl laughs as he lets go of her dropping her to the cold cement.

"Could've drop me more gently." She complained as she pick herself up. She has always like seeing Taiju panic for her. It makes her happy knowing there's someone who would drop everything just to save her. It's comforting and really nice.

"Don't do that again." Furious at the sudden stunt she just pulled, his iconic vein popped on his forehead as he started to pace around.

Taiju tries his best to form her into a normal human being all the while knowing it's impossible owning to the fact that her mother wasn't a normal one.

But he tries his best because he sees her as a redemption for all the things he had done to his siblings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bonten members are watching all of those unfold from the CCTV placed secretly the day before. Taiju and her were far away and they could barely see her face but all of them could recognize the giant monster with her from miles away.

"That's the daughter of Yukichi Yamagata." Takeomi explains as he lit his fourth cigar of the day.

"That's fucking Taiju Shiba why the hell is she with him?" Kokonoi questions puzzled to why his former boss who promised not to meddle with any gang business after his defeat from Mikey save their target from falling and let alone be with her.

"Yukichi are friends with him. Apparently the girl mass murdered a gang which made her the number one target of the five largest crime syndicate in America. No one but him wanted to take her in." Kanji Mochizuki read the information he got from bribing Taiju's secretary.

"How can that girl mass murder a gang? She's like fucking 3 ft 1." Sanzu squinted his eyes questioning her ability as he slumps down on the chair.

"And why would she mass murder a gang?" Ran added.

"She seems like a crazy person. I mean damn, if Shiba didn't get her she'd be dead dead." Rindou pointed out her actions earlier and Kakucho nodded agreeing.

"Well, I like crazy." The mad dog spoke making everyone shake their head. If the boss wants her on their side most of them will probably put a loaded gun on their mouth and pull the trigger. They wouldn't be able to handle another nuisance like Sanzu.

"That girl is valuable." The boss spoke grabbing everyone's attention.

He leaned on the wall and everyone noticed that his eyes are darker than usual. It gave them a feeling that he had to carefully analyze the pros and cons of taking the girl, indicating that she's more than just valuable.

One of the men wanted to question their boss if he's in love with her but that's out of the questions. Mikey had his few shares of whores but never kept one. For the last ten years the men spent working with each other they learned that not one of them would keep a woman in their lives. Yes, they might keep a few companion for nights of pleasure but never keep one to spend their life with. It's a luxury they could never afford not even after having almost all the money in the world.

"Her real father had her trained in a special camp which turns children into deadly soldiers or puppet CEO’s and she’s well acquainted with someone I need to find." Mikey states before pointing at Ran and Kanji.

"She's not someone to underestimate." The two men shared a look before nodding to their boss.

"You two have a week to take the girl. I don't care if it's by force, take her no matter what or I'll be taking your heads if you returned empty handed."

Mikey left the room along with Sanzu and Kakucho leaving the two men assigned to take her mortified and the remaining puzzled to why Mikey wanted to have the her so bad.

One by one the members left the room leaving Kokonoi to look back at Taiju and the mysterious girl. A few minutes passed by and nothing happened. He was about to leave when he saw her and Taiju leaving the rooftop Kokonoi was aching to leave the room and his body was half turned towards the door too but his guts told him to stay.

"Why the fuck am I feeling like this?" He says and his question was soon answered when she stood in front of the CCTV and mischievously smiled and showed her middle finger to it.

She pulled out a paper from her pocket and held it to the CCTV.

BONTEN SUCK MY DICK

"This- little bitch." Hajime's reptile eyes widen as he realized she knew all along that she's being watched.

Mikey was right after all, she shouldn't be underestimated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kanji and Ran read through all of the information in the nightclub they often go to. The loud music and girls helps Ran calm down while the liquor helps Kanji collect himself.

"This doesn't make any sense. If she's fucking thirty why does-"

"Wait. She's thirty? Mine says she's twelve." They both looked at each other totally confused.

"Fine, the age doesn't matter but why does she need to stay with Taiju when she has seven brothers all over the world?" Kanji hands Ran various pictures of men who looks nothing like her.

"Mine says she's an only child."

"What the-" Kanji was interrupted by a knock on a door and a girl no taller than 5ft 5 enters wearing a classic bunny costume.

"Here are your drinks boys."

Kanji assumed Ran ordered and Ran assumed Kanji ordered but none of it matters because they are hooked over the girl who just entered.

"Are you new here?" Ran asked as the girl approached them.

"Yes, sir. I'm a newbie."

"You look young how old are you?" Kanji questioned her. He may be a criminal but he's certainly not sleeping with an underage girl while Ran's moral could be questionable sometimes he highly objects and is disgusted by the thought of sleeping with underage girls as well.

The girl placed their drink on the table before sitting on Kanji's lap. It surprised both of them because Kanji has always been the last man in Bonten to get pretty girls.

"I've always liked older men. More experience. Rough. Looks so good in their suits." The girl placed her thumb on Kanji's chin turning his face to hers.

His eyes fell on her light brown eyes which reminded him of the artificial maple syrup he likes to drizzle on his morning biscuits.

Her fingers softly touched the bridge of his nose captivating Kanji with every movement she does while making Ran jealous.

It's a fucking blow to his huge ego. Ran always got the girls. Even before he flashes his rolex or the keys to his Cadillac. They always go to him, so it was crushing to see a girl so pretty like her go to his collegue.

Kanji placed his hand on her back while parting her legs with the other making her chuckle as she continue to softly touch his face. Kanji slept with tons of women but not once did they do the things she's doing to him.

"You smell good." He compliments her making Ran roll his eyes. Ran thinks that Mochi his "dear friend." lacks of dirty talk and is fucking traditional and basic.

The girl stood up and it made Kanji panic for moment as he thought she got tired of him but was instantly relief when she pushed him down to the sofa and went on to straddle him.

She took his hands and placed it on her ass before leaning forward and dangerously hovering her lips over his. His eyes landed on her parted wet lips and a smirked form on it as she noticed his action.

"Want... to kiss me?" She asked and he slowly nodded. Ran who's watching all of the things happened got irritated and chug the liquor she bought in.

"Damn! This is a strong fucking motherfucker!" He exclaimed after drinking it.

Kanji paid no mind to him and started kneeding the girl's ass. She softly chuckes before placing her hands on his chest and softly placing a kiss beside his lips making him want more. She's a fucking vixen and as seconds passes Kanji wanted nothing more than to be inside her. His erection made itself clear.

She licked his lips before pushing his head up exposing his neck to her. She placed soft kisses on it making the older man moan in pleasure.

"You like my kisses? Imagine if my lips were on your cock instead." His breath hitches as the thought of having the girl on top of him knelt between his legs and suck his cock, flashes through his mind. The girl then licked his neck up to his lips forcing her saliva on his mouth. She’s so fucking good and Kanji knew he had to have her.

“You’re so fucking hot.” He says making her grin. She gave his lips a peck before going to his ear and gently biting on it.

"You should fact check. I'm neither twelve or thirty."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"B-boss... we got the girl." Ran's shaky voice echoed to the phone. Mikey was impressed that they've got the girl in less than 7 hours and was planning on raising their salaries.

"Haruchiyo ready the car we're going to her-"

"Boss! Boss! where were you I've been trying to call and search for you for the last seven hours!" Kokonoi burst in panicking. He had been trying to inform them that she knew she's being watched but no one was around. Not even Kakucho or Takeomi who's known to answer calls in a heartbeat, answered their phones.

"Not now Hajime. They've got the girl." Haruchiyo interferes pushing the panicking man aside.

"No! No you don't get it. She-"

"Not now Hajime." Mikey stopped him and proceeded to leave the room with his loyal mad dog.

Frustrated Hajime let out a grunt hating the fact that everyone has been missing and the fact that he failed to inform their boss a valuable information.

"Fuck." He rushed out of the room and tried to search for anyone when someone grabbed his neck and slammed him on the wall.

"What the-"

"Long time no see."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arriving at the grape farm along with several armed men Mikey and his loyal dog walked towards the barn.

"Boss, what do you plan on doing the girl?" Haruchiyo asked and Mikey only answered him with silence. The dog knew better than to push the topic so he just walked closely with his king.

Haruchiyo grew suspicious because almost always one of his colleagues greets them but he shrugged it off knowing that it's Ran and Kanji. Two of the most brutal men in Bonten.

Haruchiyo opened the barn's door and they proceed to walk in leaving their guards outside.

"Mochi! Ran!" The dog barks but no one answered.

Suddenly circus song started to blast and disco lights flickered from above making the dog pull out his gun and instintively stood in front of his boss who only looked up to the bright lights.

"Welcome!" A robotic voice echoed as lights points to the other six members of Bonten who are all hanging to the ceiling upside down like some victims from the movie SAW.

Their face are beaten up and they were tied with ropes that barely supported their weights. Blood dripped from their head falling to the hays.

Rindou’s blood fell down and it landed on the mad dogs forehead making him back away bumping to his boss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days prior to the "event" she burst in Taiju's office disturbing him and the work he needed to finish.

"What do you want?"

"Lunch?"

"Lunch is over-" "Okay, I'm gonna blow up the prime minister-"

"On second thought, let's go eat right now." She smiled and dragged him to his car even though he wanted to eat in his restaurant.

"It's not like you to ask me out on lunch." Taiju says as he took a turn entering the highway.

"I need to discuss some stupid shit I'm about to do in less than forty-eight hours." Taiju sighed. After three years of taking care of her and looking after her like she's his child he knew it's too good to be true.

"So?"

"Bonten, they're planning on kidnapping me."

"WHAT!?" He yells making her jump from her seat.

"I've done all the plans. All you need to do is bring Takeomi Akashi, Kakucho Hitto, Rindou Haitani, Kokonoi Hajime, to the farm we've bought a month ago." Taiju shook his head no.

"We're not doing tha-"

"Or, I can just march in their HQ and start a massacre again."

"You know. I fucking thought I was nuts when I was kid."

"I'm not a kid I'm fucking 19."

"Wait? Don't I still wake you up in the morning? Don't you still refuse to eat real breakfast and insist on eating cereals-"

"Okay! Chill! Goddamn who hurt you?"

Taiju and her talked about her plans inside her favorite pancake shop and though he hated to admit it, her plan was perfect.

"Admit it Tai! You're proud of me right? I mean. I'm smart just like you." Taiju smiled as he took a sip of his coffee. He is indeed proud.

When he took her in, she was already smart but she wasn't interested in studying or anything at all. She had no aspirations or goals. And even though she's capable of creating strategic plans she always resolve into her brute and he changed that.

"Yeah yeah you make me proud." She blushed and wink at him. He's been a better father than hers.

Four hours earlier.

"Newbie bring the drinks to the VIP room!" The head of the club yelled at her and she made sure to remember her name. She scanned her surroundings before pouring the sleeping pills on both of her target’s drink before heading to their room.

They were powerful men and it made them reckless thinking that they're untouchable. Entering the room she knew they were hooked by her and she used that as an advantage.

Between the two men she liked Kanji more because he's taller and looked older and the girl decide to have a little fun with him before she break his heart.

"You should fact check. I'm neither 12 or 30."

Kanji looked at her completely puzzled but soon realized what she meant.

"RAN!" He shouted and pushed her off of him sending her to the wall. His eyes then landed on the sleeping Haitani and he cursed himself for allowing his guard down.

"Wow. That's how you'll treat me?" She mocked him as she stand up. Kanji knew he couldn’t kill her so he simply walked over to her and grabbed her by the neck slamming her small body to the wall but none of his actions faze her.

"You think you're funny?"

"I-I I do. I'm act- actually a comedian!" Even though she was barely breathing she didn't fail to say some shit.

"I was beginning to like you. Was even contemplating of making you my slut-" His visions starts to blurry and his whole body began to numb. His grip on her neck loosens and he stumbled back as his head starts to pound uncontrollably.

"You shouldn't have let me kiss you." He collapsed to the ground and the last thing he saw before he fell unconscious was her drinking something from the necklace she's wearing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One by one the executives regain conciousness and could only remember the things that occur leading up to their defeat.

"You all failed me." They heard Mikey's voice and it sent chills down their spines.

Mikey sighed and went on to sit to one of the stacks of hays and clapped three times seemingly impressed by her. He knew she's a strong fighter but he also knew she took out the gang with her sick games. What he didn't know was how good she actually is.

"Sano Manjiro." She came out of the shadows along with Taiju and the mad dog immediately pointed the gun at her but Taiju stood in front of her shielding her with his body.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Fuck you Shiba. We have men outside-"

Taiju chuckled knowing that those men are laying on the ground either with their heads blown out or still choking with their own blood.

"You want to know Doctor Fujita's location? I'll give it to you." Mikey's eyes widen he didn't expect her to know his intention.

"Only if you help me find a person as well."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thank you for reading. Reblogs and Replies are greatly appreciated.

Plagiarism is a crime.

HAIKYUU BOY MAFIA AU

note: this is from all of the results from my haikyuu mafia quiz, this is about who they are and how he met you. I’m so embarrassed by my writing but yeah, I’m already here so here we go <3

Characters included: Kita, Atsumu, Osamu, Suna, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Mattsun, Makki, Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo, and Sakusa <3

The quiz

Kita Shinsuke: Gather the scattered group of yakuza to be one since his young age, and reign as the leader since then. his underlings accidentally mistaken you for another 'girl' and bring you back to the headquarters. You're ordered to strip and let them appraise your worth- luckily, Kita notices the mistake. despite being a yakuza and is doing something horrendous, he has a moral code. he promises to make it up to you. maybe it's a part of his plan from the very start- but hey, every mistake can be made.

Miya Atsumu: 'dealer' they say. yeah, atsumu is a dealer on everything. drugs, gambling, and many more. to be frank, he's very creative and heretical. kita almost wants to disown him, only if he's the one that keeps inarizaki flourishing with his wit. your soon-to-be-ex just lost a great amount of money to his hand, so they try to steal your money- fortunately, atsumu sure is accidentally to be there and help you out, 'dealing' with your ex and swoop his hand around your figure, comforting you and offer you a better life! but yeah, maybe he's planning this all along :/

Miya Osamu: unlike his twins, he uses his ability in the killing field. osamu is expressionless, he's killing someone without moving a single muscle on his face. oh, maybe he's heartless, he can't feel a thing even someone is slaughtered before his eyes! but wrong. osamu has himself wrapped around someone's fingers without himself knowing. your smile, your manner, your whole being. he almost feels shame that he kill people for money and you're completely standing on the other side of the world, pure and typical. this man sure will protect you from afar, he will make sure no one will ever fuck with you. he's the hitman of inarizaki after all.

Suna Rintarou: he's the center of all news and stories. this man's probably a walking yellow book, he knows everything and will use every last bit of that to inarizaki's benefit. Suna is always by Kita's side, he's also the leader's trusted interpreter. even he plays such an important role, no one really sees him in flesh except for inarizaki's members. he's always inside the headquarters, living with you. of course, he has to protect you by bringing you in, makes you become a part of his clan. the farther you are away from him, the higher risk you'll take to survive.

Oikawa Tooru: don't let the pretty face tricks you, or you may have bitten off more than you can chew. he's the leader of 'seijoh' after all. they're well-known for their ruthless and immoral deeds, there's no way the leader would be just a simple smiley, sweet guy. many gangs have been fallen and destroyed by him because they underestimate Oikawa, and overestimate themselves. there are two ways to survive ① make his gang money and/or ② become someone special in his heart. but worry not, you may conquer the second option already.

Iwaizumi Hajime: he's not the morally sane one, sorry. Imaizumi isn't a good guy in lion's den, he's part of the lion pride, and being the strongest one himself. even so, he's still less rough and more merciful when it comes to working- but still, he's in the dark grey area. you may accidentally pique his interest. fortunately, he would treat you like a princess and spoiled you rotten. but unfortunately, if you're no longer interesting, he may leave you on your own. better keep him lit up or being a partner in crime, kay?

Matsukawa Issei: the former forensic technician at a local hospital, now the pathologist of seijoh. he's working with the dead more than the living ones. his smile is always painted with a dangerous impression. mattsun may seem so laid back and friendly at times, but he's not someone you could easily screw up. he's clever, skilled, and experienced. the last person that tries to meddle with seijoh has found dead without an actual cause. you just happen to be a one-night-stand that he's really hooked. and he does not hesitate to tell you every secret seijoh has to trapped you in his crew forever. because no outsider would make it out alive knowing their secrets :D

Hanamaki Takahiro: oikawa's trusted fund, trusted friend, and trusted confidence man. he's tricking people into fake lies, gaining their trust, then their money, and run away, leaving them bankrupt. he somehow only tricks the authorities (which is a great threat for seijoh) but never the commoners. don't get me wrong, he's still as nasty and dangerous as any other seijoh member, but he just thinks that it's more worthwhile. makki may just think you're practicable so he lures you in and makes you be a part of his big scheming plan. once you do, you can't run away anymore. you're sticking with him forever, good luck.

Bokuto Koutarou: he's somehow bright and kind- you've mistaken him for a normal authority. but oh, he's one of the most dangerous fellows out there. he may come off as someone kind and enthusiastic, but trust me, he's no different from other mafia bosses. even more primal. he still kills someone by himself, with the widest, scariest grin. bokuto may seem like someone with a simple mind, but when he's falling in love, he falls deep. he might need to learn how to establish a relationship first, but this man takes you in right after he realizes you're the one anyway <3

Akaashi Keiji: calm, serene, and stoical just like a rain forest. with bokuto, he can make fukurodani bigger than any other generations before him. he's smart, composed, and knows everything. without him, this clan would be infirm and even more barbaric. he works his ass off every time this clan is in a problem as if his life depends on fukurodani's prosperity. his mind is so tired, but he pledged to the god already, he would make fukurodani go far, stopping mid-work wouldn't be appreciated. until he met you, your smile, your greeting, it makes his tired-out soul light up once more.

Kuroo Tetsurou: working under fukurodani's command, still, stand above all. he's as powerful as the boss himself. With a smile, he would talk his way until the negotiator blew it. his mouth is truly a weapon. with a word or two, he can get what fukurodani wants. he's on seijoh's 'beware on sight' list. really a schemed man. he would meet you at one of the auction that only authorities can join, he sees you beside a gross old man. look at your face, your expression; you do not want to be here. so he swoops in and talks his way until he can separate you from the said man, and abuse his power as underboss of fukurodani to keep you with him instead :)

Sakusa Kiyoomi: with his presence alone, you can tell how much power this man held. he's so young, has a bright future ahead, and yet- choose to become the darkest part of this society. he's inherited his father's legacy and name, and he runs everything like his father always did. despite being so young, he can control every part of the gang so perfectly. frankly, he wouldn't even bat an eye on you, only if his underlings did something he forbid with you, in front of everyone in the party. the punishment is one thing, but your tears that already shed make him feels something stirring inside.

Falling for a God

A/N: Forgot to properly post/format this fic, so here ya go ya filthy animals (ok but i wrote it so I’m filthier)

AO3 Link

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 7.1k

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Summary: “Tell me, does being touched by a god make you nervous? I can feel you quivering, are you afraid?” Loki pauses, then leans down until his lips are almost touching your ear. “Or is that arousal I sense?”You have a huge crush on Loki, there's lots of sexual tension, y'all fuck. That's the plot.

“Nat,” you whine. “I feel like you’re not even listening.” You prance to the front of her, spinning around to walk backwards.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Wow, are you sure you aren’t pyschic?” She keeps up her brisk pace, and you nearly trip over yourself trying to keep up.

“That’s so rude!” You exclaim, but can’t hold back a giggle. Despite her cold demeanor, you know that Nat is just messing with you. Shooting a quick glance backwards, you decide that your path is clear, and return your gaze to your friend. “You’ll tell me if I’m about to run into something, right?”

With a wry grin, Natasha gives you a thumbs up. You beam at her. “Anyway,”  you continue. “I started watching this new TV show last night, and it is so, totally awesome. There’s this guy, and he has these badass powers, and he’s fighting this girl, and she has-”

Thump.

A small oof escapes from your mouth as your back collides with something solid. You pitch forward in surprise, and yelp as you try to stabilize yourself before you fall. Large, warm hands grab your waist, tightening around you to keep you from toppling over. You sigh in relief as your frantic heart slows to a normal rhythm. “Wow, thanks,” you say, and spin around to reveal the identity of your saviour.

Piercing blue eyes meet yours, and your breath catches in your throat. “Careful, pet,” Loki murmurs softly, a sly grin spreading across his lips. His hands slide off of your waist, making contact with the sliver of skin between your shorts and your top on the way. An involuntary shiver creeps up your spine, and you bite your lip.

The reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the ever-perceptive trickster, and his eyes flash with surprise. “Are my hands really that cold?” Loki teases. “Perhaps you could help me warm them up.” His tone is playful, but there’s something deeper underneath his banter that makes you think he’s actually flirting.

You can tell that your cheeks are red, and you choose not to respond to Loki’s question in fear of making an even bigger fool of yourself. A stammered apology tumbles from your lips, and you look back towards Natasha with a look of betrayal. She grins and shrugs. “I forgot to warn you. Oops.” Your mouth drops open. That scheming little devil. She knows about your crush on Loki, and she still allows you to make a fool out of yourself?

Your interactions with Loki were sparse, to say the least. Aside from a few casual conversations in a group, you had barely even talked to him. Still, he captivated you from the very first day he arrived at the compound. He was exactly your type; tall, dark, and brooding. Aside from Thor, most everyone gave Loki a wide berth, hesitant to forget the battle for New York. You, however, didn’t see a villain. You saw pain behind those blue eyes, and could empathize with Loki’s behavior. You knew all too well that it hurt to live in someone’s shadow, and sometimes acting out was a cry for help. Granted, Loki’s outbursts were far more drastic than yours had ever been, but it was more or less the same on a base level. And, the fact that he constantly had a witty remark on the tip of his tongue never ceased to entertain you. The man liked to hear himself talk, and damn, so did you.

It takes you a second to realize that you’ve been staring. You clear your throat awkwardly and look to the floor, eager to hide your discomfort. “Um, thank you for catching me,” you manage. When you look back up, Loki is wearing an odd expression. His pretty eyes are narrowed, searching your face. The scrutiny only embarasses you further. “Well, see you around!” WIth that, you dart around Loki and scurry off. Natasha follows you, snickering softly.

When you reach the common area, you plop yourself down on the couch and groan, throwing an arm over your face. Natasha sits down beside you. “Smooth,” she says, drawing out the word obnoxiously.

You remove your arm from over your eyes and give Natasha a withering look. “So not funny.”

Nat positively cackles at that. “Oh, come on,” she says. “He’d be an idiot to not at least have a thing for you, I mean, you’re smoking! ” She looks you up and down. “Nice rack, too.”

A giggle bursts from your lips. “Nat. Oh, my god. Stop objectifying me.”

Shaking her head, Natasha replies, “Me, objectify? I would never.”

That earns her an eye roll from you. “Sure. Anyway, can we please change the subject? I’m sick of talking about my embarrassing Loki crush.”

“What does ‘crush’ mean?”

You freeze. Now that was a distinct voice. “Thor,” you choke out. “When did you get here?”

Thor walks up behind the couch and swings himself over the back, making the poor piece of furniture creak in protest. He settles next to you, effectively sandwiching you between him and Natasha. “Just long enough to hear you discussing my brother. Now, will you please enlighten me on this strange Midgardian term?”

Before you can shut him down, Nat pipes up from the other end of the sofa. “It means she likes him. Romantically. Sexually. ”

The temptation to throw yourself onto the floor wailing is high. Instead, you opt to beg for your life. Still embarrassing, but slightly more productive than throwing a tantrum. “Nat!” You screech. You turn to Thor with pleading eyes. “Please, don’t say anything to him.”

Thor furrows his eyebrows. “What an odd expression. You’d think that the word “crush’ would be associated with something negative.” He places a big hand on your thigh. “If what Lady Natahsa says is true, then why would you not tell my brother? He is quite vain, you know. I’m sure he would be delighted to know that a beautiful woman is attracted to him!”

You groan and bury your face in your hands. These Asgardians will be the death of you. “It’s not that simple, Thor. What if he rejects me? I’d never be able to show my face around him again!”

There’s a pause, and then Thor asks you in a much gentler tone, “It seems as though you care for Loki a great deal more than you are letting on. Are you really afraid of embarrassment, or is it the heartbreak you fear?”

You’re glad that your hands are covering your face, because the way the color drains out of it at Thor’s question would have given you away. “No,” you mumble through your fingers. But he’s right, you do care for Loki more than you’d ever admit. His image ran through your head at night when you were trying to sleep, and his voice was what came to mind when your fingers were between your legs and you were pretending they were-

You rub at your eyes, then look up at Thor in desperation. “Please, if you really care about me as a friend, you’ll keep this secret.” You shoot a look at Natasha. “You, too. I may not be able to take Thor in a fight, but I could kick your ass.” You know you sound like a pathetic teenager, but you’re past the point of caring. You were perfectly happy admiring Loki from afar, and didn’t want to get your hopes up just to be met with shame.

Natasha scoffs. “As if.” Before she can continue. Thor holds up his hand.

“Lady Natasha, I believe we should stay out of this. I have done a great deal of meddling in my brother’s life, and I’ve learned that even the best intentions can cause disaster when Loki is involved.

“Thank you, Thor,” you say gratefully, relief evident in your voice. With a tired sigh, you hoist yourself up from the couch and turn to face your friends. “Well, I think I’ve had enough excitement for today. I’m going to hibernate, see you next spring.”

Natasha giggles and blows you a kiss goodbye while Thor scrunches up his face in confusion at your joke. Oh, well. Maybe he’d understand Midgardian humor one day.

*

Thunder rages outside your window while you toss and turn. You roll over to glance at your clock, and scowl when it flashes “3AM.” Giving up on the prospect of sleep, you opt for creeping to the kitchen for a midnight snack. Your bare feet pad down the carpet, and you shiver slightly at the cold air of the hall. Goosebumps rise on your bare legs and you start to regret your decision not to put on pants.

To get to the kitchen, you have to walk through the common area, and for a moment you linger just outside the entryway. There’s a soft glow coming from the corner of the room, and you mentally groan, hoping it’s one of the female inhabitants of the compound. You weren’t too excited at the idea of walking past one of the guys in just a sleep shirt and underwear. Still, your mission for food is not one you’re willing to give up on. Taking a deep breath, you step out of the hallway and into the room. And nearly pass out.

Across the room, perched in one of the loveseats, is Loki. He’s sitting with his legs curled underneath him, thumbing through a book. You consider darting back into the safety of the hall, but you’re too late. Loki has already noticed you, and is now staring far too intently for your liking. Suddenly feeling very exposed, you tug on the hem of your shirt, trying to pull it further down your legs. “Sorry to disturb you,” you whisper, afraid to break the deafening silence. Loki raises an eyebrow at you, then turns back to his book. You aren’t sure if you’re relieved or disappointed when his gaze leaves you.

Not wanting to linger in the entryway any longer, you make your way across the room, keeping your eyes down. As you pass Loki, a loud clap of thunder booms outside, and already being on edge, you yelp. Startled from the deafening sound in an otherwise quiet room, you stagger, falling backwards onto the loveseat. Right next to Loki. The sofa is small, and in your splayed out position, you’re almost half on top of the god.

Loki flinches away, and you immediately begin to apologize. “I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I guess I just lost my footing. Did I hurt you?” As you talk, you push yourself off of Loki and cower into the other side of the loveseat. Some more rational part of your brain urges you to get up, give him some more space, but you don’t listen. As embarrassed as you are, you’re not quite ready to give up this closeness to the object of your affection.

With a huff, Loki straightens himself and gives you a cool look. “You did not hurt me, mortal. I was simply surprised.” Then, having composed himself, he smirks and sets his book on the end table beside him. “I suppose it is only natural to have weak knees in the presence of a god.”

The comment lightens the mood, and you find yourself relaxing next to him. “You’re right, Thor’s thunder does make me a tad unsteady.”

At that, Loki stiffens, obviously having not expected you to return his teasing. For a brief moment, you feel proud. Then, something changes in his expression, and he scoots closer to you. His hand finds your bare thigh, and the contact sends butterflies through your stomach. Loki senses your restlessness and gives you a predatory grin. “Is that so? Are you telling me that this,” he squeezes your thigh, and you gasp. “Doesn’t make you feel...faint?” His voice is low, and he almost purrs the last few words.

You fight hard to keep your breathing even, not wanting to give away just how flustered you are. The heavy weight of his hand feels heavenly, and you can feel your panties grow damp. God, you hope he can’t smell it.

This predatory tone is so much different than the playful teasing that you usually receive from Loki. You’ve never seen his blue eyes so dark, and the unfamiliarity of it all tightens your stomach.

Taking your silence as a challenge, Loki presses himself even closer to you. His fingers creep up your leg, closer to your underwear. “Tell me, does being touched by a god make you nervous? I can feel you quivering, are you afraid?” Loki pauses, then leans down until his lips are almost touching your ear. “Or is that arousal I sense?”

Fuck. A full body shiver skates across your skin, and despite your best efforts, a small moan breaks free from your throat. Loki’s hand feels like a brand on your thigh, sending waves of heat up your body. The warmth pools between your legs, and you can’t help but shift a bit. Knowing that your panties are the only barrier between your soaking heat and the sofa, you arch your hips ever so slightly to keep from soiling the cushion.

Of course, your small movements don’t go unnoticed. Loki’s eyes are hooded as they rake across your bare legs, and you can hear his breathing get a bit heavier. He looks up at you, pupils dilated. “Oh, pet, look at you. Barely even touched, and already-”

He’s cut off by the sound of footsteps echoing through the hall, headed in your direction. Loki curses softly and reluctantly draws his hand away, then moves as far away as the small sofa allows. Your skin aches at the loss of contact.

The interrupting stranger’s footsteps approach the entrance to the common room, then carry on past. You let out the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, thankful that you wouldn’t have to explain anything. Something tells you that, while there’s nothing going on now, sitting with Loki in the middle of the night might raise a few eyebrows.

You and Loki are alone again, but the moment has passed. Whatever spell that had overcome the two of you is gone, and all that’s left is a quiet room and a dim light. “I apologize, I believe I have overstepped,” Loki says, and for the first time, he sounds...unsure. His voice has lost that arrogant confidence that it normally carries, and he sounds like a child that has just been caught stealing cookies from the jar.

You bite your lip and risk a glance at Loki. He’s still pressed against the opposite arm of the loveseat, and is avoiding your eyes. Without the atmosphere of desire from before, now you just feel...awkward. Sighing softly, you rise to your feet and make your way to the hallway. You pause briefly in the entryway, and breathe out a “goodnight, Loki.” You don’t wait for a response, instead turning and trudging back towards your room.

As you flop back down in bed, you replay the night’s events over in your mind. It almost feels like a dream, and you’re having trouble believing that Loki, the God of Mischief, had actually come on to you. It didn’t seem plausible. You’re just a plain mortal, nothing special, no powers. Sure, your combat skills could rival Natasha’s, but besides that, you can’t find anything about yourself that would attract a god.

Eventually, you decide that maybe Loki was just horny, and you were in the right place at the right time. You did walk out without pants on, after all. No matter the reasoning, you know not to expect a repeat occurrence, given how regretful he had seemed afterwards. Tears brim in your eyes as the reality of the situation hits you; Loki regrets touching you. It seems that your crush was one-sided, and even though you weren’t surprised, that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

*

Things are tense around the compound. You creep around corners, terrified of accidentally finding yourself in the same room as Loki. And it seems that Loki is taking the same precautions, because you haven’t even seen a glimpse of him since that night. The ache in your heart from his rejection still keeps you up at night, and you still find yourself pining over him like a lovesick idiot.

Ever the observer, Natasha catches on quickly. “Are you really still embarrassed about bumping into Loki?” She asks after cornering you in the kitchen. “You’re not acting like yourself, and it is beyond obvious something is bothering you.”

You groan at her around a mouthful of a granola bar. “Are you really still thinking about it?” You counter.

Nat rolls her eyes. “Please, it’s hard to pretend it didn’t happen when you’re playing this stupid cat and mouse game. I see you check every room for him, I can’t believe you even care that much. He barely even touched you!”

A piece of your snack shoots down your throat with your gasp. You double over, wheezing and coughing. Natasha slaps a hand on your back, sighing. When you finally catch your breath, you glare at Nat. “Yeah, maybe that’s the issue.”

You immediately regret your words as a fire lights itself in Natasha’s eyes. “Want me to help?”

“Nat, hold on. No thanks-”

“Shush, trust me!” To your dismay, Natasha is already on her way out of the kitchen when she finishes hushing you. You whimper out a half-baked protest, but your friend is long gone by the time the words leave your mouth. Fuck, you’re so screwed.

LIfe  was very quickly becoming a stressful game of hide and seek. You’d resorted to spending most of the day in your room, hoping to avoid Loki, and more importantly, Natasha. You’re not sure what she has planned, but it can’t be anything good. As weeks pass by with no incident, however, you begin to drop your guard. Maybe she’s taking pity on you.

It’s around noon when you get the text. It’s an all caps message from Nat, pleading with you to at least hear her out before saying no.

That’s a terrifying text. I’m listening.

Nat: I may have bragged my way into a drinking contest with Thor, and I need a teammate to make it fair.

You want to try and outdrink Thor????

Nat: I want US to outdrink him. I convinced him that it’d be more balanced if it was 2 to 1.

You owe me.

Nat: :)

It was a terrible idea, but maybe a nice night of getting hammered is just what you need to break you out of your funk. Despite your initial reluctance, you find yourself getting excited. You hadn’t really relaxed in ages, this would be a good thing.

As the hours pass, you start to get nervous. It’s been so long since you’ve gotten properly drunk, and you seriously doubt you’ll be able to keep up with even Natasha. Still, a promise is a promise, and you have far too much pride to chicken out now.

The clock reaches nine o’clock, and you sigh. Showtime. Before leaving your suite, you set several glasses of water and a bottle of Advil on your nightstand. If you’re going to fuck over your future self, you might as well try to ease her pain. You take a deep breath and spare a glance over at the mirror against your bedroom wall. You had opted for something comfy, but cute; an emerald green dress that stopped just above your mid-thigh, and fell off of one shoulder effortlessly.

Okay, so maybe you had wanted to get a tiny bit dressed up. You’re sure Nat will tease you for it, but sometimes a girl just wants to feel pretty.

A bit breathless from those pre-competition nerves--yes, a drinking contest was that serious--you make your way to the kitchen. As you round the corner, you stop dead in your tracks. Sitting at the bar Tony had insisted on installing, is Nat and Thor, of course. But next to them, perched delicately on one of the stools, is Loki. He wears a look of disdain, as if this entire competition is beneath him. You hope he can’t tell how badly you want to be beneath him.

Natasha gives you a wicked grin as Thor waves you over, his smile far more innocent-looking than Nat’s, though you’re sure he had a part in this. Cursing your terrible friends under your breath, and yourself for falling for it, you trudge over. Naturally, the only stool left is the one on the end, directly next to Loki. You gingerly hoist yourself up and slide onto the seat.

You stubbornly keep your eyes on the counter, not daring to even glance up at Loki. It’s obvious from the way he’s angling himself away from you and towards his brother that he’s regretting that night, and doesn’t want to be near you. You don’t blame him, humans must seem like animals compared to gods. The reality is that you were a mistake to him, and you just needed to accept that and move past.

Breaking the awkward silence, Thor produces a jug of what looks like beer from god knows where. He grins and gestures to it grandly. As he opens his mouth to speak, you cut him off. “Hold up! I thought this was two against one? Loki being here makes it unfair.”

Natasha rolls her eyes at you. “Yeah, I may have bent the truth to get you to come out. It’s teams of two, but we have a handicap. Our drinks and shots count as twice the actual amount, and they’ll be drinking Asgardian mead. So,” She smirks. “No more complaints, let’s do this shit.”

You swallow nervously at the mention of shots. You could hold your liquor fairly well, but you and shots had...history. Nat knew how touchy you got when you were drunk, and how much of an oversharer you tended to be. Though you have to admit that her plan is almost flawless, you’re still unimpressed with her shenanigans. She’s pretty much set you up to embarrass yourself.

You twiddle your thumbs in your seat as Natasha grabs a bottle of Svedka from behind the bar and begins to pour the beginning drinks. Following her lead, Thor pops open his jug and splits it between two large glasses, then passes one to Loki, who sighs in apparent boredom. He shoots you an unreadable look, then grabs one of the shot glasses that Natasha filled and slides it your way.

With a mumbled “thanks,’ you gingerly take the glass, and look at Nat and Thor. Thor raises his glass. “May the better warriors win!” He announces, then tips back his glass. You roll your eyes at the word choice, but bring the shot glass to your lips and throw your head back. The liquor goes down rough, but you manage to keep your poker face and grit your teeth against any retches.

“The lady can drink!” Thor bellows, wiping at his face.

You shrug, wanting the spotlight off of you. “Um, I went to college?”

Before Thor can question you, Natasha cuts in. “Hello? I took it just as well, where’s my applause?”

“Natasha, you are not a lady,” Loki deadpans. Nat glares and pours herself another shot in response, throwing back the second one just as easily as she had the first. She then points at you. You can’t help the laugh that bubbles up. Despite everything, Loki was still Loki, and he still had your heart. It seems that the tension between you and Loki dissolves after you laugh at his quip, and he relaxes his stiff posture.

You sigh in relief and reach for the bottle to refill your own glass. This time, it goes down easier. That is, until the burns travels past your stomach, right down to between your legs. You squirm in place at the unexpected burst of arousal. Still, you should have been ready for it. Alcohol has always gotten you a little worked up. It was your mistake to believe you could fight it.

Despite the setback, you keep up with your teammate as the night goes on. Shot after shot, broken up by the easy conversation that emerges as the liquor continues to flow.

You’re not sure when the competition was forgotten, but you soon find yourself splayed on the couch next to Loki, laughing hysterically at some story he’s just finished telling about Thor in his youth. You look over at him, hazily trying to center your double vision to properly admire the god. His cheeks are flushed red from the alcohol, and he looks more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him.

Loki glances over, catching you staring, but you’re far too intoxicated to be embarrassed. Instead, you hold your gaze, waiting for a reaction. Loki smirks, then eyes his brother with annoyance.

“Brother,” he says, voice a lazy drawl. “I believe we’ve won this contest, wouldn’t you say?”

Thor cocks his head, then widens his eyes in understanding. “Oh, certainly! In fact, I think it would be necessary for me to walk you back to your quarters, Natasha.”

Natasha begins to protest, but it dies on her lips as her gaze flickers between you and Loki. “What a gentleman,” she purrs, only swaying slightly when she rises from her seat. “Lead the way.” Taking his outstretched hand, Natasha stumbles down the hall with Thor, giggling excitedly.

Now that it’s just the two of you, you expect things to get awkward, but find that you’re still just as comfortable. “Well, I guess I have to bow to the drinking champ,” you slur, sitting up to give a half hearted bow.

Loki throws his head back and laughs. “You,” he manages between snorts, “are far more fun to be around than most others on this planet.”

You scoff and wave your hand dismissively. “You’re only saying that ‘cause I bowed to you.” Chewing on your lip, you let your eyes drift back over to Loki. In your drunken haze, he just looks so...comfy. Before you realize what you’re doing, you slide over to lean up against him. Loki’s surprisingly warm, and you sigh contentedly, letting your mind wander back to how his hand felt running up your thigh.

The arousal from earlier that you had forgotten about rears its head, turning your sigh into a shaky exhale that is not at all subtle. The air feels thick, just like it had on that one stormy night, and you press yourself closer to Loki, unable to resist how good his body feels against yours.

Loki freezes for a moment, then seems to force himself to relax into you. His arm snakes around you until he’s holding you comfortably against his side. For one brief moment, you start to wonder if this is a good idea, given how things had ended in the past, but the intoxicated part of your brain tells the sober part to go fuck herself, and then you’re speaking without thinking. “Do you want to walk me to bed?”

Oh, shit. You can’t believe that just came out of your mouth. A wave of sobering panic hits you, and you untangle yourself from Loki and shoot up from the couch. Before you can flee, however, a pale hand grabs hold of your arm, stopping you in place.

Loki gets up, then moves his grip from your wrist to your hand. “I think that is a lovely idea. Allow me?” With the hand that isn’t holding yours, he gestures toward the hall. Well, that was unexpected. You try not to giggle in child-like excitement, and instead nod hurriedly.

Your heart speeds up at the feel of his hand in yours, and you start off down the hall, letting Loki pull you towards your suite. Caught up in trying to navigate the titling floor, you don’t notice that you’re being led the wrong way until the two of you come to a stop at a door that definitely does not belong to you. You look up at Loki in confusion. “This isn’t my room.”

“I know,” Loki growls, then opens the door and whirls you both inside. When you’ve recovered from the swift movement, you manage to pull away from Loki’s grip.

“What-what’s going on?” You say, attempting to sound stern. Loki stalks towards you. Instinctively, you back up, until you’re pressed against the wall with Loki boxing you in.

Loki presses his hands to the wall on either side of your head and sneers at you. “What’s going on?” He mocks. “I’ve craved your body under mine since long before our little nighttime meeting, and I have run out of patience for games.” He leans in and presses a kiss to your neck, grazing you with his teeth. Just like before, his playfulness has given way to a domineering aura, but you’re not complaining one bit.

You barely suppress a full body shiver. “But,” you protest weakly. “I, I thought you regretted it. I mean, you never said anything about it, so I figured...oh…” you trail off into a soft moan as Loki roughly licks up the side of your neck, growling.

“And when would I have gotten the chance?” Loki pulls away from his assault on your skin to look you in the eyes. “You have been avoiding me for nearly a month.” Those blue eyes are staring daggers at you, and you realize that there’s hurt behind all that frustration.

Your mouth goes dry. He’s right, but the eye contact from his smoldering stare is making you forget how to speak. Fumbling with your words, you cast your gaze downwards. “Yeah, I guess I have. But with what you said after we were interrupted....I thought you were uncomfortable with what happened.”

A dark chuckle spills from Loki’s lips. “The only discomfort you have caused me is the nights I have spent spilling over my own hand because I could not have you. ”

You gasp softly as Loki’s words send a wave of heat through your overheated body. Loki takes that as encouragement, and presses himself closer until his lips are grazing yours. “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll leave,” he mumbles, eyes hooded.

Your response is to surge forward, hands flying to the back of his head as you roughly pull him in to kiss you. You both groan at the contact. The kiss is anything but gentle; your fingers are tangled in Loki’s hair, tugging harshly, and you can feel his teeth nipping at your bottom lip. It was far better than you could have imagined, and the dizzying pleasure of it all has you feeling drunker and more sober at the same time.

Before long, the room spins as Loki lifts you and hoists your legs around his waist. He kisses you breathless as he walks slowly down the hall towards what you can only assume is his bedroom. There’s a giddy part inside of you that squeals with excitement at being carried like that, but it’s quickly overshadowed by lust as you and Loki reach his bedroom. He tosses you onto his king sized bed like a doll, then kneels on the floor and yanks your ankles until your bottom is almost hanging off the bed.

Loki slides your dress up and nuzzles the inside of your thigh. “I could smell your arousal the entire night,” he says, nearly purring. “May I taste?”

You sit up on your elbows and stare down at him, face flushed with mild embarrassment at his face so close to your soaked panties. Dumbly, you nod, words failing you. Loki growls his appreciation and hikes up your dress, taking a brief moment to admire the soft fabric. “You look absolutely ravishing in green, I’ve wanted to tear this off of you since the moment I laid eyes on it.” And then he’s sliding your panties down your legs and plunging his tongue into your heat.

A ragged gasp tears its way from your throat and you throw your head back. You feel the grin form on Loki’s lips against your skin, and a fresh gush of arousal flows down your thighs. Loki eats pussy like it’s an art form he’s been perfecting for ages. His lips tug at your pussy, worshipping every fold like it’s the last meal he’ll ever have. You open your mouth to make some joke about his silvertongue, but all that comes out is a pathetic whimper as Loki drags his teeth lightly across your clit.

It isn’t long before the pleasure reaches its peak.You fight hard to keep your legs from clamping around Loki’s head, but you can’t help it when you crest over the edge of orgasm. Your muscles lock up, your back arches, and you scream. White hot euphoria explodes from your core, spreading through your body like venom. Loki’s tongue works you through it, slowing to wide, long strokes as you begin to come down.

You’ve barely recovered when Loki rises from his knees and crawls up your body, coming to a stop when his face is inches from yours. His eyes are hooded, and his glistening lips are parted to allow frantic, heated pants to escape. “Pet,” he hisses, leaning down to nuzzle into your shoulder. “You taste sweeter than the fruits of Asgard.” He bites at your collarbone, making you shudder in your post-orgasmic haze.

Still out of it, you sluggishly fumble at Loki’s belt. “Wanna make you feel good, too,” you mumble and lick your lips. Loki bats your hand away, shushing you.

“Darling, there will be plenty of time for that later. Right now, I need to feel you.” He grabs your shoulders and drags you up to the pillows, so that you’re lying comfortably on your back with him hovering above you.

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of ‘later.’ So this wasn’t just a one-night stand? You don’t have time to process that, however, as Loki barely gives you a moment to breathe. He sits back on his knees, straddling your waist, and with a wave of his hand, you’re both stark naked. Your hands twitch, wanting to cover yourself. Being naked in front of an attractive man has always intimidated you, but the fact that Loki was a god made it worse. As if sensing your sudden shyness, Loki leans in to kiss at lick at your breasts, and brings his hands up to pin your wrists to the bed. You sigh in pleasure, insecurity fading with every hot swipe of his tongue, not even wanting to struggle against his hold.

Loki lowers himself to grind against you. His hard cock slides against your dripping folds as his narrow hips press into yours. Both of you shiver, and you arch your hips to bring him closer. Loki growls against your skin and sits up. He lets go of your wrists, roughly grabs your waist and angles it to meet his. “Ready, pet? I can’t wait, I need to have you.” he breathes, eyes locked on yours.

Like a deer in the headlights, you’re frozen, anticipation coiling tightly under your skin. Slowly, you nod. Loki wastes no time. He smirks, then slides himself into you, the stretch burning in the loveliest way. Your heated groan mingles with his, and when Loki’s hips come to rest against yours, he falls against your chest, panting. You appreciate the time he gives you to adjust; Loki’s cock is thick, and longer than anything you’ve ever taken, and you can feel it throbbing desperately within you. Now that he’s released your hands, you bring them up to thread through his soft, black hair. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch, nearly purring.

“Tell me when, love,” Loki grits out, fighting to keep his voice steady. The shakiness in his usually smooth tone is arousing to no end, and you can feel yourself clench around him in approval. Loki’s hips twitch at the fluttering of your walls, and though you’re more than ready, you decide to torture him a bit longer.

You bring your legs up to wrap around Loki’s  waist, pulling him closer. He shivers, but keeps his composure, remaining almost statue still. His concern for your comfort makes your heart swell, but you want to see him lose control. “You’re so big,” you whimper out, the alcohol in your system quelling the embarrassment you’d usually feel when talking dirty. You press your face into Loki’s neck, grazing your teeth along the pale skin there.

With a deep growl of barely kept composure, Loki rises up to rest on his elbows, desperate eyes searching yours. It seems that being the God of Lies gave Loki the ability to see through your cruel game, and his expression turns dark, though the neediness is still blatant. You shift nervously as he stares you down, already regretting your mischievousness. “Feeling playful, are we?” Loki asks.

Your mouth goes dry at being caught and your core tightens around him again, earning you a flutter of his eyelids. “I…” you trail off, eyes drifting to Loki’s parted lips. Watching you gaze, Loki grins at you.

“Oh, pet. I think you may be confused. You are mine to toy with, not the other way around.” With that, Loki leans down to crush his lips into yours. His tongue forces its way into your mouth and you whine around it. While his tongue’s distracting you, Loki takes his chance to begin pounding into you at a ruthless pace, and you break away from the kiss to throw your head back and shriek out a moan.

You feel utterly wrecked, stomach clenching and nerves alight with pleasure as Loki continues his assault on your body. Your eyes are squeezed shut, so his teeth nipping at your jaw come as a surprise, sending a whole new shockwave of sensation down your neck.

“You feel so fucking good, pet,” Loki moans, his voice quickly losing its characteristic steadyness. He sighs out something that sounds suspiciously like a whimper, and brings one of his hands down to toy with your clit. Your legs tighten around him involuntarily. “A-ah, fuck,” Loki grits out, increasing his pace.

The pleasure is overwhelming, and the unhuman speed at which Loki’s pounding into you leaves you no time to catch your breath. Moans and whines erupt from your mouth in a constant stream, and Loki keeps his mouth hovering above yours to drink them in. “I wanna cum,” you whimper as Loki’s assault on your senses continues.

“Then cum, pet,” Loki groans, hips stuttering. “ Cum for your god.”

You keen, writhing and chasing your high. As you climb up to your orgasm, you are met with a startling realization that Loki has already ruined you for anyone else. No human man could match the fire that he’s set upon your nerves, the blinding pleasure that mounts with every thrust and kiss. With that settling into your mind, you finally reach your second peak of the night.

Your eyes try to flutter shut, tears brimming at the corners as you wail Loki’s name again and again. Through the haze of your climax, you notice Loki’s muscles begin to tense as he nears his orgasm as well, and you force your eyes to stay open in order to watch him come apart.

Watching Loki cum is almost like a second climax. He speeds up impossibly, mouth hanging open and eyes barely able to stay focused on you. “You’re mine,” he growls out. Choked moans fall from his lips as he nears the edge, and you rake your nails down his back to encourage him.

“Cum in me, please, I need it, make me yours” you ramble breathlessly.

“Oh, fuck, I-I’m so close,” Loki manages, voice breaking. You continue to coo pleas and encouragements at him, and the way his eyes roll back at your wrecked voice gives you an intoxicating rush of pride. Finally, with a whimpering moan, Loki stills, cock pulsing within you and hips twitching as he pumps you full of his cum.

Loki slumps against you, still moving in aborted little thrusts, as if he can’t quite stop fucking you just yet. The weight of him on top of you is heavy, but not unwelcome, and you take the time to bask in the euphoria of having just slept with the god you’d pined after for so long.

“That was…” you start, words failing you.

“Divine,” Loki finishes for you. He slides his cock out of your pussy, and with it comes a gush of warm cum that you’re sure will stain the sheets. He rolls off of you, then guides you onto your side so that he can pull you up against him.

You weren’t expecting Loki to be the ‘cuddling after sex,’ type, so having him spoon you was surprising, to say the least. He nuzzles his nose into your hair, and you find yourself wanting to fall asleep like that; comfortable in his bed and safe in his strong arms.

Still, there’s a nagging question that won’t let you fully relax. Not wanting to expect too much, you brace yourself for the worst and open your mouth to speak. “Loki...what does this mean for us?”

Loki tenses behind you, and your heart breaks at the assumed rejection as he begins to pull away. “Are you...are you not mine? I thought this was-I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood. Forgive me.”

This time, your heart breaks for a different reason. Loki sounds so hurt, so unsure of everything, and you can hear a scared little boy behind that velvet voice. “No!” You nearly shout, turning around to pull him back to you. “I want to be yours, I promise,” you say as you tug Loki back into your arms, running a soothing hand down his back. “I just wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted.”

The relief in Loki is visible as he relaxes into you. “Love, I am yours as much as you are mine, do not doubt that.”

The pet name brings a smile to your lips. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you reply happily. Heart full, you roll back over so that Loki can snuggle into you again, and finally let your drowsiness overtake you. You catch a faint, ‘I love you,’ just before you drift off to sleep, and though it could just be your mind playing tricks on you, you know that you love him, too.

the witcher 3: wild hunt starters

including quotes from the dlcs hearts of stone & blood and wine

❝  you were always an unruly child. i adored that about you.  ❞ ❝  mmm. yes. of course. the excuse you resort to when you’d rather not talk about something.  ❞ ❝  how many have you killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  you know who i am. and why i’m here.  ❞ ❝  you're a madman and always have been. a cruel, cold-blooded killer.  ❞ ❝  a man should frame his wishes carefully. it forestalls disappointment.  ❞ ❝  no argument. you knew what you were signing up for.  ❞ ❝  maybe once, in a different time...i’d have helped.  ❞ ❝  don’t train alone, it only embeds your errors.  ❞ ❝  wanna get drunk off my ass. and it’s gotta be on cheap wine.  ❞ ❝  you’re a heartless bastard.  ❞ ❝  try to trick me anyway, anyhow, you won’t go anywhere, you know that. ‘cause i’ll take your head off right where it meets your neck.  ❞ ❝  sorry. i don’t want to talk about it. not now, at least.  ❞ ❝  we are more like a family.   we support each other and help each other survive tough moments.  ❞ ❝  so how’s it feel to be the village witch?  ❞ ❝  realize, please, that you were made for great things.  ❞ ❝  folks say a curse has fallen on that place, a dark power brought down by the bestiality of the murders it beheld.  ❞ ❝  so, now you’ve threatened me and all...are you in or are you not?  ❞ ❝  i know it must sound foolish, but in the dream - well, it was all too real...  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  it’s always been about you. only you.  ❞ ❝  i remember finding your sense of humor both groan-worthy...and somehow endearing.  ❞ ❝  kings die, realms fall, but magic endures.  ❞ ❝  i detest banquets. vacuous conversation, food portions fit for a mouse, drinks that taste like piss...  ❞ ❝  despite what you’ve heard, i don’t lunge at every monster i see, sword in hand.  ❞ ❝  each day’s more dangerous than the last.  ❞ ❝  it’s folks like you that restore my faith in humankind.  ❞ ❝  my power lies in possessing knowledge, not sharing it.  ❞ ❝  the rotten smell brings back childhood memories.  ❞ ❝  awfully noble of you, showing so much concern for the needy.  ❞ ❝  no need to thank me. always glad to save your ass. you’re welcome.  ❞ ❝  i may be inhumanely beautiful, but i don’t have super human senses.  ❞ ❝  anyone can be made to talk, even a corpse. one must simply know how.  ❞ ❝  we’ve done the hardest part. only got the pleasant bits now.  ❞ ❝  there are few causes worth saving. even fewer men.  ❞ ❝  don’t treat me like a child.  ❞ ❝  there’s strange men lurking outside the house. watching me.  ❞ ❝  you must be careful what you wish for lest your wish be granted.    for there are consequences.  ❞ ❝  shall i be free of the suffering? the sadness?  ❞ ❝  i wish to gaze into those eyes, eyes the devil would be proud to have.  ❞ ❝  you were born with a great gift. and only you can decide how to use it.  ❞ ❝  any other words of wisdom? or can we go?  ❞ ❝  what i need is an ally. and something tells me i shall find none better than you.  ❞ ❝  i can see no row can occur here without your participation.  ❞ ❝  i and what concerns me have not been a concern of yours for some time now.  ❞ ❝  if you’d not arrived in time, things might have ended considerably worse.  ❞ ❝  if they can bleed, they can die.  ❞ ❝  a man must display some madness from time to time --- it helps him feel alive.  ❞ ❝  i was deeply troubled. you’ve no idea.  ❞ ❝  done that so many times, but...it felt like our first kiss to me.  ❞ ❝  don’t need to play tough on me.  ❞ ❝  i've lost too many mates already. i won’t risk it, i can't.  ❞ ❝  there’s just not enough of us. it’ll be a hard fight.  ❞ ❝  in lonely woods, screams carry long.  ❞ ❝  things used to be simpler.    monsters were bad, humans good.   now, everything’s all confused.  ❞ ❝  as for your missteps --- i don't rightly see why i shouldn't laugh if they're amusing..  ❞ ❝  i’ve no gold to offer you in reward...but i shall be ever so grateful.  ❞ ❝  if you’re scared, turn back. i’m gonna go on.  ❞ ❝  if anything happens, i’ll defend you.  ❞ ❝  once you say "i love you," a kiss has to taste differently.  ❞ ❝  maybe we should sit? you look a bit dazed...  ❞ ❝  drink it off, sleep it off, whatever it takes...just get yourself together and think things        through.  ❞ ❝  i shall join later, if it’s no trouble. i don’t yet feel strong enough to venture out.  ❞ ❝  awake at last. you writhed like a squirrel caught in a snare.  ❞ ❝  again you plan without even asking what i think!  ❞ ❝  come to see how i’m feelin'? thanks, not bad.  ❞ ❝  i remember that day quite well...there was a light drizzle, yet the cold tore right through you.  ❞ ❝  you gotta keep your eyes peeled wide open. someone’s taken an interest in your work.  ❞ ❝  oof...for a minute, i actually thought we were doomed.  ❞ ❝  you shouldn’t worry yourself --- it tarnishes your beauty.  ❞ ❝  i’d even embrace you...were you not covered in blood.  ❞ ❝  guess i could’ve been someone worse...just a shame i had no choice.  ❞ ❝  facts interest me. not fairytales.  ❞ ❝  hm, odd smell. blend of alcohol, blood and monster stench.  ❞ ❝  i’m old and i am wealthy. i may say what i please.  ❞ ❝  now, be so kind and leave me to my thoughts.  ❞ ❝  in your shoes i’d pack it up and go hide somewhere far away.  ❞ ❝  forgive me, but that's the blatherin' of someone who clearly can't snap out of it after a tragic loss.  ❞ ❝  that all you gotta say? i saved your life.  ❞ ❝  i swear on all that is holy: we shall be together forever.  ❞ ❝  think of me as part of the decor.  ❞ ❝  anyone who’s bold enough to fight is already a hero.  ❞ ❝  if this is a trap of some sort...  ❞ ❝  you can count on me, you know? always.  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how much it means...to have someone you can rely on in this fucking city.  ❞ ❝  i know you. you have no heart.  ❞ ❝  no room for friendship in this business.  ❞ ❝  evil is evil. lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. the degree is arbitrary, the definitions blurred.  ❞ ❝  hands off, or i'll cut them off.  ❞ ❝  i’ll need to clear my head first. after those deranged dreams, i feel it’s full of cobwebs.  ❞ ❝  on your way? or will you stay longer? it’s far safer with you around...  ❞ ❝  really sad story, but something’s not right. got a feeling you’re not telling me everything.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit, there’s something about you. you’re...different.  ❞ ❝  with each arrow i shoot, i think of my dad. he’d be proud, i think.  ❞ ❝  i merely know when to indulge my pride, and when to swallow it.  ❞ ❝  you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  these’re dark, grim times. no room for knights pure of heart or happily-ever-afters.  ❞ ❝  a life without liquor’s like loving without licking.  ❞ ❝  my certainty i walk the right path grows strong as iron, firm as steel.  ❞ ❝  few make me feel awkward, but in your presence, i feel anxiety, discomfort.  ❞ ❝  some men have got good reason to fear their own shadows.  ❞ ❝  some men cannot admit defeat. some keep fighting from beyond the grave.  ❞ ❝  stare into their eyes, feast on their terror. then go in for the kill.  ❞ ❝  forget not that you are a person right and honorable, devoted to doing good.  ❞ ❝  ash shall fertilize the soil. by spring, the valley shall bloom once more.  ❞ ❝  there’s lots of wraiths here. i hear them whispering every night.  ❞ ❝  no one has the courage to face this threat! yet we must kill them, or sooner or later we will all die.  ❞ ❝  you are a step away from losing your head. speak the truth and you might yet keep it.  ❞ ❝  you carry within you the weight of a terrible tragedy. you are a good person, but lost. which is why you come across as grim.  ❞ ❝  if i understand you correctly, you would rather help a monster than kill it?  ❞ ❝  discouraged after a mere eight attempts?  ❞ ❝  easier to pat someone on the back and hope things will work out than it is to face the truth.  ❞ ❝  know that they can’t teach an old dog new tricks?  ❞ ❝  my, you’ve grown beautiful.  ❞ ❝  my swords a promise --- if i reach for it, heads will roll.  ❞ ❝  one condition: no one dies. that clear?  ❞ ❝  patience happens to be my weakness. so dispense with the dramatic pauses and talk.  ❞ ❝  you proved today you can take care of yourself.  ❞ ❝  you under the delusion you’ll complete your tasks, live happily ever after?  ❞ ❝  i will not sit and twiddle my thumbs. i'm sick of waiting, sick of hiding!  ❞ ❝  glad you know who i am. haven’t introduced yourself, though.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen a great deal --- cruelty, cynicism, greed.  ❞ ❝  you tempt fate, because at heart you are unhappy.  ❞ ❝  we had our chance, but...let it go.  ❞ ❝  come now, you didn’t expect it to be that easy, did you?  ❞ ❝  promise me one thing --- you’ll stop risking your life for others.  ❞ ❝  instead of dwelling on the future, i’d rather live in the moment.  ❞ ❝  i adore love stories. especially the ones that end happily ever after.  ❞ ❝  we are drops of rain that together make a ferocious storm.  ❞ ❝  the path to freedom is paved in blood, not ink.  ❞ ❝  we’ll get our happy ending. one day.  ❞ ❝  i’ll never forget what you did for me...and what we had together.  ❞ ❝  don’t meddle in other people’s lives.  ❞ ❝  i don’t get attached to places. just people.  ❞ ❝  it’s dangerous, there are risks involved. understand that, don’t you?  ❞ ❝  and here i hoped someone would finally take pity on me.  ❞ ❝  seen a lot of dead in my time, but that must’ve been hard.  ❞ ❝  air is strange...like dropping into a deep cellar on a hot day...  ❞ ❝  wouldn’t carry a sword if i didn’t know how to use it.  ❞ ❝  take it you didn't summon me to reminisce about the good old days, so...  ❞ ❝  i was attacked --- had to defend myself.  ❞ ❝  guards have never stopped me, you know that.  ❞ ❝  treating the ill and wounded...it’s my calling.  ❞ ❝  you think it’s enchanted?  ❞ ❝  there are times when a woman should simply not explain her decision.  ❞ ❝  won’t find too many comforts, but try to feel at home.  ❞ ❝  i was looking for you...sometimes i thought you were just a step away. other times, i felt like i was going around in circles.  ❞ ❝  i’ll remember you. always with a smile.  ❞ ❝  i’d rather you not make anymore trouble --- for yourself, or us both.  ❞ ❝  got the stench of corpes on you.  ❞ ❝  you stood to gain --- that is why you saved me.  ❞ ❝  sages invariably have hidden agendas. altruism is simply not part of their constitution.  ❞ ❝  the gods have abandoned us. the mighty of this earth care not for our fate.  ❞ ❝  is that admiration i hear in your voice?  ❞ ❝  i started off heading in the opposite direction, but then turned around.  ❞ ❝  i’m fed up. i won’t have others deciding for me behind my back.  ❞ ❝  where’d you get this idea? what’s gotten into you?  ❞ ❝  i don't expect you to commit now. think it over, what you've heard, what you feel.  ❞ ❝  head torn clear off...takes incredible strength.  ❞ ❝  desperate fathers have been known to do a lot to find their daughters.  ❞ ❝  you cannot kill me. you know this...  ❞ ❝  "i give you my heart”? what kind of spell is that?  ❞ ❝  i’d go anywhere with you.  ❞ ❝  why? because i am a woman? in a frock, rather than plate? i can take care of myself, i assure you.  ❞ ❝  everything we discussed here, hope you’ll keep it to yourself. counting on it, in fact.  ❞ ❝  trusted you once. won’t make that mistake again.  ❞ ❝  shut up. i’ve heard enough of your bullshit. draw your weapon, let’s get this over with.  ❞ ❝  exaggerating for effect, right?  ❞ ❝  well, well...when cornered, you can bite.  ❞ ❝  you cannot win...even if you kill me.  ❞ ❝  you know i’m good at accomplishing the impossible.  ❞ ❝  it’s nothing, really. you’d have done the same for me.  ❞ ❝  you are not ready. you do not control your powers.  ❞ ❝  you’re a tool in their hands, even if you don’t see it.  ❞ ❝  i’d do anything for you, i would. you know that well.  ❞ ❝  this is a land where the fantastic is normal, and the impossible occurs daily...  ❞ ❝  know when a legend becomes a prophecy? when it gain believers.  ❞ ❝  i thought you’d become a stranger to me. that i’d look at you and not feel a thing. but it’s not like that at all. nothing’s changed.  ❞ ❝  to be honest, i just wanted to go on a walk with you.  ❞ ❝  what i really want is to be with you, to...to be together and...  ❞ ❝  this is not the kind of offer one refuses.  ❞ ❝  despair devours you like maggots devour a corpse.  ❞ ❝  before long every soul will kneel before you.  ❞ ❝  i run into dilemmas all the time. situations where it's hard to judge, hard to know what's right, make a decision. this is not one of them. you disgust me. and deserve to die.  ❞ ❝  you know me. i’m rare to praise, but when i do, it’s sincere.  ❞ ❝  i'm not a thug for hire.  ❞ ❝  i like being on adventures, sleeping under the stars, waking up with dew on my face.  ❞ ❝  the dream's within reach now. i’m not about to let it go.  ❞ ❝  unlike you, killing gives me no pleasure.  ❞ ❝  can't speak for the world you inhabit, but in mine, nothing is ever black and white.  ❞ ❝  you cannot possibly imagine how much i detest this place.  ❞ ❝  stones you’ve got. but i didn’t think you’d have the stomach for a massacre.  ❞ ❝  the dead man --- looked like a monster attacked him recently.  ❞ ❝  finish all your business before you die. bid loved ones farewell. write your will. apologize to those you’ve wronged. otherwise, you’ll never truly leave this world.  ❞ ❝  i've had nothing but nightmares lately. pretty horrible.  ❞ ❝  i was wandering through the forest, breathing deep the air, and then i heard a strange sound, unsettling.  ❞ ❝  had a few nice dreams. for example, in one we sat around a fire, drinking good wine, and all around people danced and laughed.  ❞ ❝  they’re all dead! mountains of corpses. yet here i stand alone. all alone.  ❞ ❝  this isn’t a game. men have died.  ❞ ❝  if you wanna listen, listen, if not --- i'd rather you spared me your wit and throw me out now.  ❞ ❝  you fed me, cared for me, had my wounds looked after. we're even now.  ❞ ❝  you’ll return, you shall. our fates are bound.  ❞ ❝  i’ve nothing left. not a fucking thing.  ❞ ❝  i don’t question your abilities. i simply don’t trust you.  ❞ ❝  what foolish things men sometimes do.  ❞ ❝  dare harm me, and against you will rise all the powers of nature.  ❞ ❝  did you destroy the evil powers? have you brought peace to my domain?  ❞ ❝  well, perhaps i shall tell you about it one day. one day, but not today..  ❞ ❝  times like these, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  ❞ ❝  you worry too much. what will be, will be.  ❞ ❝  have you gone completely mad? we must leave here at once!  ❞ ❝  time eats away at memories, distorts them. sometimes we only remember the good... sometimes only the bad.  ❞ ❝  you don’t need magic to strip men of their humanity. i’ve seen plenty of examples.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to choose between one evil and another, i’d rather not choose at all.  ❞ ❝  see what i’ve got on my back? wolves fear it. kings do, too.  ❞ ❝  i missed those awkward compliments of yours.  ❞ ❝  sometimes i think it’s all too lovely to be true…that something’s bound to happen, another war or some other horror.  ❞ ❝  took you a while. did you run into trouble?  ❞ ❝  i just travel a lot. and i don't always happen upon such good and civil company.  ❞ ❝  what can you know about saving the world, silly?  ❞ ❝  done my share of fighting. wouldn't carry a sword if i didn't know to use it.  ❞ ❝  all right, perhaps i wasn’t completely honest.  ❞ ❝  ever thought this day would come? me and you...peace and quiet...bees buzzing, birds chirping.  ❞ ❝  i detect a shadow of impatience in your face.  ❞ ❝  took me a long time to find you. wasn't an easy road to travel.  ❞ ❝  wipe that frown off your face, or i might think you don’t like me anymore.  ❞ ❝  always believed attack was the best defense.  ❞ ❝  once it’s all over, if we survive ... i wish to leave, go far away.   and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  naturally, you suspect me of the worst. i don’t deserve that.  ❞ ❝  we can fight another time, in another place, where the walls have no ears.  ❞ ❝  once i was free...i shall be free once more.  ❞ ❝  believe me...a tavern, mulled wine, our boots drying by the fire --- i’d like nothing better.  ❞ ❝  prove it. kiss me.  ❞ ❝  the prophecies do not lie...you cannot survive this struggle.  ❞ ❝  i know you better than you think.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  what’s happened? it’s so quiet, all of a sudden.  ❞ ❝  thank you, for coming with me.  ❞ ❝  i cannot do everything for you. use your head.  ❞ ❝  i'm angry and tired. had to kill a lot of people along the way.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’d be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  i sense your pain. i see your fear.  ❞ ❝  how’s this for an answer: kiss my ass.  ❞ ❝  how many have you already killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  i'm quite alive and extraordinarily well. better than i've ever been in this rotten life of mine.  ❞ ❝  i like it when you smile. come here. everything will be all right.  ❞ ❝  ugh. don’t fall in love with me.  ❞ ❝  i don’t like you. in fact, i feel like slapping you.  ❞ ❝  i'm too old to play the blushing bride...unless you ask nicely.  ❞ ❝  that bit of my life --- forgotten it already.  ❞ ❝  the world doesn’t need a hero. it needs a professional.  ❞ ❝  next time you wonder why i’m so bitter...well, there's your answer.  ❞ ❝  nothing wrong with having a drink in good company.  ❞ ❝  i want you behind those rocks. and keep your mouth shut.  ❞ ❝  nice of you to worry...but i've made my decision, and i won't change it.  ❞ ❝  this is my story, not yours. you must let me finish telling it.  ❞ ❝  after all that toil, i believe we deserve a bit of a rest.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  we’ve all some stain on our conscience.  ❞ ❝  leaving the castle walls means certain death.  ❞ ❝  right good jest. had us a laugh. now fuck off.  ❞ ❝  i’ve heard about you. you bring trouble, or thus far have, always.  ❞ ❝  ah, you’ve struck a raw nerve.    memories of a time long past to which i’d rather not return now.  ❞ ❝  we meet again. and it seems you need my help. again.  ❞ ❝  got a relative i can talk to? someone - how do i say this - a smidgen less irritating?  ❞ ❝  miss the target, you owe me fifty push-ups. hit it, you owe me twenty.  ❞ ❝  oh. serious talk coming.  ❞ ❝  i feel like one more lie'd be the last bitter drop in a chalice full of sorrow.  ❞ ❝  romantic? thought we came here as friends.  ❞ ❝  you’re hiding something. and that’s one thing i can’t stand.  ❞ ❝  tell me, how do you do it? always manage to pull yourself together, focus, no matter what’s happening?  ❞ ❝  i go wherever i please, whenever i please.  ❞ ❝  uh oh. i know that look.  ❞ ❝  sounds tempting. so tempting i don’t think i can refuse.  ❞ ❝  so, what do you say to a moonlight ride on horseback...and dinner?  ❞ ❝  perhaps...perhaps you’d stay just a bit longer?  ❞ ❝  how are you feeling? sleep well?  ❞ ❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...  simply shouldn’t have.  ❞

❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...i simply shouldn’t have --- not during our romantic dinner.  ❞ ❝  got it. a bit of blackmail --- just your style.  ❞ ❝  it’s the crack of dawn. where do you wanna go?  ❞ ❝  shut up before you wake someone. last thing we need is a crowd.  ❞ ❝  watch what you say. the trees have ears.  ❞ ❝  no bow at hand, no spear. my sword was all i had.  ❞ ❝  never expected you’d take such an interest in my private life.  ❞ ❝  i’m special. always was the rare beauty.  ❞ ❝  damn. been ages since we last saw each other.  ❞ ❝  some charming orchards nearby. in bloom, even, so you almost can't smell the corpses.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  man spends his whole life learning.  ❞ ❝  if only i was as skilled with my words as i am with my blade.  ❞ ❝  i wished to know what was going on in that head of yours. i thought perhaps i could help.  ❞ ❝  i can tell something’s bothering you.  ❞ ❝  dangerous times. each thinks five times before sticking their neck out.   and i can’t blame them.  ❞ ❝  now i care not in the slightest how you think or feel.  ❞ ❝  i no longer know if i still hate you.  ❞ ❝  i see how you look at me, and i see you wither.  ❞ ❝  one last bit of advice --- find a new tavern. everyone here knows you.  ❞ ❝  you won. no point bothering with ‘what ifs’.  ❞ ❝  it’s time i took fate into my own hands. lived life anew...and truly, this time.  ❞ ❝  ahh, 'cause you thought you'd killed me that time. surprise, sur-fucking-prise.  ❞ ❝  who...who’s that? gods, i’m hallucinating.  ❞ ❝  it’s no exaggeration to say i’ve never met a warrior like you in my life. you’re lithe as an eel and strong as a bear.  ❞ ❝  i’ve a heart again, yet all it feels is grief, sadness and defeat. my life is a ruin.  ❞ ❝  sought only to protect myself. in doing so, i put you in harm’s way. forgive me.  ❞ ❝  there’s a charming grove nearby where  kisses  taste  sweeter than anywhere else in the world.  ❞ ❝  you’ve handled tougher situations. you’ll figure this one out.  ❞ ❝  who you are and why you’ve come matter little. for you’ll not leave this place alive.  ❞ ❝  i’m not panicking. just trying to be realistic.  ❞ ❝  hahahahaha...i can’t believe you fell for that!  ❞ ❝  i was actually going to recite an anthem praising your glory, but if you’re not in the mood...  ❞ ❝  lying didn’t always come so easily to you.  ❞ ❝  everyone wants to rule. i can do that better than any monarch.  ❞ ❝  tell me what you want already, and make it quick.  ❞ ❝  what a mess we made of it all...if i’d only known then how it would end...  ❞ ❝  seems a faded dream now, but there were a time where i was happy.  ❞ ❝  why’d you leave me? you claimed you loved me.  ❞ ❝  never liked boats. not one bit.  ❞ ❝  you must be mad. i’ve no intention to make things easier for you.  ❞ ❝  i don’t wish to look at your face any longer than i must.  ❞ ❝  please, no. i can’t stand spells.  ❞ ❝  we agreed not to keep any secrets from one another. we promised.  ❞ ❝  that i like! a man who boldly dares, damn the risks!  ❞ ❝  i thought you bowed before no man.  ❞ ❝  smile a bit wider. ...you were meant to smile, not bare your teeth.  ❞ ❝  is that blood? have you hurt yourself?  ❞ ❝  no reason to trouble the guards. i’ll go willingly.  ❞ ❝  look at me. promise you’ll stay out of it.  ❞ ❝  the minute we’re in trouble, you make me responsible for getting us out.  ❞ ❝  they say they don’t fear the wrath of the gods. and you, do you fear it?  ❞ ❝  i’ll let that pass. i know grief eats at your heart.  ❞ ❝  we all lie sometimes. but lying to yourself is running away, whereas there’s really nowhere to run.  ❞ ❝  don’t need your sympathy, just your help.  ❞ ❝  your loss -- it must hurt, bad. but there wasn't anything we could do.  ❞ ❝  i wish to leave, go far away. and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  i trust you have an explanation for this. a very good one.  ❞ ❝  lot of bitterness in you.  ❞ ❝  i assure you, you’re excellent at covering your tracks --- though not terribly subtle. but i’m even better at uncovering them.  ❞ ❝  glad to see you happy...but i don’t think what we did was right.  ❞ ❝  i look at you, and...and feel like i am exactly where i am supposed to be. at long last.  ❞ ❝  i’m no coward. i'll not run this time.  ❞ ❝  yes, i know you’ve trained with swords. but you’re still shit with them.  ❞ ❝  how many innocents have you cut down?  ❞ ❝  problem is, you’re not ordinary. you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  not too late to surrender.  ❞ ❝  men turn honest when they feel a blade at their throat.  ❞ ❝  i'm not gonna drink. why dull my senses when i’m in such pleasant company?  ❞ ❝  it’s bound to come in handy, and each time it does, you’ll think of me.  ❞ ❝  lie still or you will bleed to death.  ❞ ❝  your life is yours, exclusively. you choose who you are.  ❞ ❝  for a minute there, was almost sure you’d leave me to die.  ❞ ❝  there is never a second opportunity to make a first impression.  ❞ ❝  it’s all because of that secretiveness of yours.  ❞ ❝  plead the gods spare us, for without their favor we shall most certainly perish.  ❞ ❝  i must say -- seen a lot, but nothing like this, never.  ❞ ❝  you don’t look like you can get home on your own. i’ll walk you.  ❞ ❝  all’s in the past, never to be restored.  ❞ ❝  you know full well i never hold a grudge. i forgive you.  ❞ ❝  the good gods sent you to me.  ❞ ❝  and the guilt, the responsibility of all this, lies with me.  ❞ ❝  you’ve only been here five minutes, and you’ve already managed to offend me twice.  ❞ ❝  you will certainly fetch me a higher bounty alive.  ❞ ❝  what's wrong with my beard? always thought it added to my dignity.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to die today, i wish to look smashing for the occasion.  ❞ ❝  i was stupid. stupidity costs a lot.  ❞ ❝  even your humblest requests seem like threats.  ❞ ❝  your motives do not interest me. only results.  ❞ ❝  and you laughed, oh, how sweetly, how brightly you laughed!  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how it is. to see someone you love die. because of you, for you.  ❞ ❝  to have a scapegoat --- that’s the key.  ❞ ❝  no need to fear me.  ❞ ❝  sorry, but -- your life story? just not interested.  ❞ ❝  with you...it was love at first sight.  ❞ ❝  gotta understand. you don’t betray people like me.  ❞ ❝  i struggled long to find a place where i’d feel safe, needed. until i finally arrived here.  ❞ ❝  just don’t faint on me.  ❞ ❝  could never be there for you everyday. but i’m happy to see you always. and today, i’m all yours.  ❞ ❝  what others think...your image...that’s all you care about.  ❞ ❝  in these foul times one must be wary, even of their friends.  ❞ ❝  come on, don’t get angry - it’s not good for you..  ❞ ❝  so, apart from the sword play, you know potions and all that?  ❞ ❝  i actually envy your sense of wonder --- common in children, and morons.  ❞ ❝  a lot of misfortune for a small village.  ❞ ❝  who are you? do you seek to hurt me as well?  ❞ ❝  the hand that feeds can also strike its wayward wards.  ❞ ❝  shh. eat now. we’ll speak once you’ve rested.  ❞ ❝  brother has turned against brother, the land is soaked in blood. evil reigns stronger than ever before.  ❞ ❝  good looking and clever. where’ve you been hiding?  ❞ ❝  doesn’t bother you, having monsters for neighbours?  ❞ ❝  stay here --- no matter what happens.  ❞ ❝  i never told you this, but i’ve always felt it: i love you.  ❞ ❝  listen to me this once -- don't take matters into your own hands.  ❞ ❝  love these moments. the air before a battle -- nothing smells as sweet.  ❞ ❝  they tried to get in through the main gate. i’m afraid they could succeed next time.  ❞ ❝  too many claim you’re evil.  ❞ ❝  why are you so eager to help strangers? sit your ass down or there’ll be misfortune.  ❞ ❝  you'd never have managed without me, would you? come, now, admit it.  ❞ ❝  for those who remain, death should never take precedence over life.  ❞ ❝  thanks for coming. thanks for risking your life for me.  ❞ ❝  don’t force me to speak of it. no more, please.  ❞ ❝  when doubt plagues your mind, follow your instincts. should they steer you wrong and land you in muck, you'll land at peace with yourself. and that's most important.  ❞ ❝   just know that i know you're here. one misstep, one error...you'll make a mistake, it's inevitable...i'll be the first to learn it.  ❞ ❝  i do not know you. i’ve done you no harm.  ❞ ❝  try not to panic...just doesn’t suit you.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’ll be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  had i known what would happen here, i'd never have come.  ❞ ❝  i can say i’ve seen it all now.  ❞ ❝  these scars have long yearned for your tender caress.  ❞ ❝  i don’t fall victim to curses. i cast them.  ❞ ❝  come outside. we can hold hands and stare at the sky.  ❞ ❝  we’ll work well together --- i can see that already.  ❞ ❝  from the first moment i set eyes upon you that fateful evening, my heart has only beaten for you.  ❞ ❝  i trust you as much as you trust me --- not at all.  ❞ ❝  you’ve gone all red in the face just for talking about it.  ❞ ❝  wake up. it’s just a dream. wake up!  ❞ ❝  i still don’t believe everything that happened.  ❞ ❝  i never miss twice.  ❞ ❝  bit too old to believe in bedtime stories, aren’t you?  ❞ ❝  you humans have...unusual tastes.  ❞ ❝  didn’t think it worthwhile to tell me, warn me of your plans?  ❞ ❝  i think you will not attack one unarmed.  ❞ ❝  the deeper i get into this, the more i gotta wonder...why’re you even helping me?  ❞ ❝  to live in peace, we first must kill.  ❞ ❝  at times fate muddles our path, and life turns toilsome, hard to bear.  ❞ ❝  i fight for whoever’s paying the best. or whoever’s easier to rob.  ❞ ❝  do not let my beauty distract your aim.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen what is to come, i know destruction approaches.  ❞ ❝  the war awoke an ancient power. an evil one that feeds on bloodshed.  ❞ ❝  guess you’re no stranger to fury, either.  ❞ ❝  think i’m gonna fall for that? no chance, you’re wrong.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit --- you do pretty well with a sword.  ❞ ❝  you dare tell me to calm down?! you?!  ❞ ❝  let's say i go about my business, and when there's coin to be earned, i don't readily turn it down.  ❞ ❝  i wish to know the truth...be it sweet, be it painful, i wish to know.  ❞ ❝  men, the polite ones at least, would call me a monster.  ❞ ❝  even i grow ill at the sight of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m going on a walk. or is that not allowed either? because i could break my leg?  ❞ ❝  plan’s crazier than it is sane...but there’s an irrestistible charm to it.  ❞ ❝  unbelievable! you said something romantic! you!  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  if anything should happen to you...  ❞ ❝  there’s not been a dark cloud yet that didn’t have a silver lining.  ❞ ❝  those are some fresh lookin’ scars you’ve got there.  ❞ ❝  no. no more about the battle. just hold me. and say something nice.  ❞ ❝  stay. this is the only home we’ve ever had.  ❞ ❝  you’re so charming when you try to be funny.  ❞ ❝  not proud of it...yet i considered all the options and found none better.  ❞ ❝  i look far different from when you last saw me.  ❞ ❝  i admire your optimism. wish i shared it.  ❞ ❝  and...try not to draw any attention to yourself.  ❞ ❝  nightmares haunt our nights and days. folk sleepwalk from their homes, never to return.  ❞ ❝  forgive me. it couldn’t be avoided. i truly am sorry.  ❞ ❝  well i’ve departed, escaped, been forced to flee so many times…yet i always returned. you ought to be used to it by now.  ❞ ❝  the human mind is as wild and unexplored a place as any land far beyond the sea.  ❞ ❝  you think you’ve won. you are wrong. i can’t die.  ❞ ❝  you’re something more. something more.  ❞ ❝  barely nicked me, i’ll be fine.  ❞ ❝  it’s just that i felt...stifled, in your shadow. i’d have suffocated had i stayed.  ❞ ❝  come, don’t just stand there. i want a hug.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely here! i could stay forever.  ❞ ❝  do what you will, but leave me out of this.  ❞ ❝  we should end this discussion -- before i say something i'll regret.  ❞ ❝  you all right? you’re as pale as death.  ❞ ❝  let’s get back to the hut. i’ll protect you along the way.  ❞ ❝  not to keen on talking about it, are you?  ❞ ❝  it’s better to die than to live in the knowledge that you’ve done something that needs forgiveness.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  at times one must use reason, rather than blades.  ❞ ❝  need some peace. gotta prepare.  ❞ ❝  i suspected it might not be the best idea, but i was desperate, had no choice.  ❞ ❝  so tell me how it happened. step by step.  ❞ ❝  it was a bit of a lark, a jest. i meant to bring it all back, i swear.  ❞ ❝  if i wanted to kill you, you'd be long dead by now.  ❞ ❝  that is precisely one of the reasons why i abhor your world.    your senseless brutality.  ❞ ❝  i won’t let them take you, you know that?  ❞ ❝  magic...childish hocus-pocus. it’s just not interesting. what i find fascinating are true tales of true human lives.  ❞ ❝  save your praise for others. i couldn’t give a shit.  ❞ ❝  well, well, i am impressed. doubted you still had it in you, frankly.  ❞ ❝  i like you. don’t make me hurt you.  ❞ ❝  you know very little can hurt you being immortal, so you take wild risks, chase extreme sensations. there comes a point you’ve done it all, and all seems boring and monotonous.  ❞ ❝  with you i finally feel...harmony. a calm. feel like things are the way they're supposed to be.  ❞ ❝  i'm afraid the dishwater’s as good as it gets in this establishment.  ❞ ❝  sorry to take so long, but i had to deal with the guards.  ❞ ❝  i’d never miss a chance to spend a pleasant evening with you.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. yet one more reason why you must die.  ❞ ❝  or perhaps you seek to trick me.  ❞ ❝  if you acknowledge any gods...start praying, now.  ❞ ❝  it’s very simple. you either deceived me...or not.  ❞ ❝  i am known neither for my sense of humor nor for my patience.  ❞ ❝  naturally, it would be easier with your help, but...you irritate me.  ❞ ❝  love questions like that. am i holding up? what, my dick?  ❞ ❝  we never hunt in these woods. not even if it means the whole village starves.  ❞ ❝  we’re only ever the ones to know the truth about ourselves.  ❞ ❝  you’re insolent because you believe i cannot afford to hurt you. and you’re right.  ❞ ❝  i detest graveyards, especially wandering them alone.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. you impede me too often. and i find your arrogance an annoyance.  ❞ ❝  i know it’s wartime, but try not to be a hero, all right?  ❞ ❝  i don’t know that i’ll make for engaging company. in truth, i rarely talk to men.  ❞ ❝  you know...had a dream about you recently.  ❞ ❝  i thought i could at least count on you to treat me seriously.  ❞ ❝  don’t ask questions you know the answers to. it makes you look stupid.  ❞ ❝  you’re nosy. starting to piss me off, you know?  ❞ ❝  what did i do to deserve this? have i given you cause to doubt my intentions?  ❞ ❝  don’t fret about me. i always get by somehow, right?  ❞ ❝  i wanted to go with you --- that was my idea.  ❞ ❝  i shan’t stray a step from your side.  ❞ ❝  if that’s what it takes to save the world, it’s better to let that world die.  ❞ ❝  what’s that supposed to mean? that a threat?  ❞ ❝  i’m offering a great and true adventure, an experience like no other, the fate of only the chosen few.  ❞ ❝  that’s like choosing between pestilence and the plague.  ❞ ❝  what’s it matter? i only ever thought of you.  ❞ ❝  did you know you’ve gained twenty-seven new scars since we’ve last saw each other?  ❞ ❝  i need to know the details if you want me to get my hands dirty.  ❞ ❝  don’t know you. go away.  ❞ ❝  ever vigilant, even in your sleep. quite vampire-like, in fact.  ❞ ❝  gotten used to people treating me like a freak, an outcast.  ❞ ❝  we share a cause, then. just like the old days.  ❞ ❝  ever considered becoming a burglar? skill like that’d come in awful handy.  ❞ ❝  there’s never been a frown that couldn’t be turned upside down.  ❞ ❝  honesty's an attribute of the truly brave --- and thus the privilege of the very few.  ❞ ❝  you do not have a monopoly in altruism, my friend.  ❞ ❝  great love demands great sacrifices.  ❞ ❝  i believe it wise at times to share one’s secrets, unburden oneself to those one can trust.  ❞ ❝  it would be nice from time to time if you could sit back and enjoy life, instead of going around solving everyone’s problems.  ❞ ❝  we shall dance until the break of dawn!  ❞ ❝  a man could lose his head for a lass like you.  ❞ ❝  don’t have to come if you don’t want. wait here.  ❞ ❝  never seen this side of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m to kiss the ground you walk on, is that it? but you just did your duty.  ❞ ❝  the day you give me a smile...that moment, that’s what i’m waiting for.  ❞ ❝  i need a soul intelligent and clever, an individual who fears no dare. someone like you.  ❞ ❝  if i was you i’d catch some shut-eye, not go on flapping my tongue.  ❞ ❝  the plan is simple...which does not mean it will be easy to execute.  ❞ ❝  sometimes you really get on my nerves, you know.  ❞ ❝  you shall not turn on me, use what i say against me? you shall not tell anyone?  ❞ ❝  gave you a chance. should’ve taken it.  ❞ ❝  always better to do a bit more and even gain nothing by it,    than to do too little and face regret.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely out here. the birds singing, the bees buzzing...blissful, really.  ❞ ❝  what a lovely dress. the color suits you exquisitely.  ❞ ❝  pretty fantastic tale. hard as hell to believe.  ❞ ❝  it’s time you discovered my romantic side.  ❞ ❝  you gotta understand the whole world doesn’t revolve around you.  ❞ ❝  can you not see i am out of my mind with worry?  ❞ ❝  every rose has its thorn, and there are no happy endings.  ❞ ❝  pretty quick to reject help. why is that?  ❞ ❝  don’t need to like each other. just gotta do our jobs.  ❞ ❝  frankly, if i can do something for you, i'll do it, willingly.  ❞ ❝  you were hired you kill me, were you not?  ❞ ❝  what’s it like, going toe to toe with a monster? knowing you’ve only two options --- to kill or be killed?  ❞ ❝  this place --- there’s evil here. death hangs in the air.  ❞ ❝  intellect counts as much as strength.  ❞ ❝  i run back inside, hasp the doors, and then i hear it --- someone whispering my name.  ❞ ❝  you know i like you. unlike the rest of this lot, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders.  ❞ ❝  if you love somebody, set them free.  ❞ ❝  if you hate me so deeply, why don’t you tell me to my face?  ❞ ❝  i’m afraid you’d not realize which way the wind was blowing if you pissed straight into it.  ❞ ❝  that was courageous. i'd never expect it from you.  ❞ ❝  i am not easily impressed, but i must admit you have succeeded, my dear.  ❞ ❝  kill me if you must. i’ve nothing to live for anyway.  ❞ ❝  aren’t you an extraordinary beauty.  ❞ ❝  never suspected you believed such things.  ❞ ❝  wait...you want to go with me? out of the question.  ❞ ❝  used to it. not the first time i’ve been hunted.  ❞ ❝  enough of this hesitation, this fretting, these feelings of guilt!  ❞ ❝  strange working with you. strange, but great.  ❞ ❝  give me a moment. i must don something more appropiate and concealing.  ❞ ❝  killing comes as naturally to me as blowing my nose.  ❞ ❝  ......   another tale of a life compromised and ultimately claimed by greed and ambition.  ❞ ❝  in the future, though, remember this --- i can look after myself  ❞ ❝  you'd really worry about me if i went on alone?  ❞ ❝  you have many merits. you merely hide them from the world very diligently.  ❞ ❝  is it true virtue always trumps villainy?  ❞ ❝  watch my movements. i’m spry as a cat and sly as a fox.  ❞ ❝  ah, if only this could last forever.  ❞ ❝  few i can rely on like i can on you. kinda hoping you think the same of me.  ❞ ❝  you are angry at the whole world. you feel inferior, feel pain, though you mask this with confidence, arrogance, even.  ❞ ❝  there exist worries for which there quite simply is no other medicine.  ❞ ❝  your bones look thin, your breathing’s wheezy. afraid one punch might kill you.  ❞ ❝  to love is to build a house of cards, or play a game of chess, but one word or ill-thought move and you must start it all afresh.  ❞ ❝  i’m doing what i ever wanted to do, being who i wanted to be. i believe that’s one definition of happiness.  ❞ ❝  you’ve not an ounce of refinement in you, have you?  ❞ ❝  pain rules the body, but fear is born in the heart.  ❞ ❝  either i get burned, or i’ll burn all else down. no other options.  ❞ ❝  should you decide your sword is the sole solution, i shall not stand in your way.  ❞ ❝  c’mon, come closer.  ❞ ❝  would you prefer i treated you like the lying manipulater you are?  ❞ ❝  i regret nothing. one lives but once.  ❞ ❝  i just hope this tale has a happy ending. for me, for you. for everyone.  ❞ ❝  just gonna go our seperate ways? no parting words?  ❞ ❝  you still stand to be quite useful to me.  ❞ ❝  i suppose you wanted to frighten me...alas, you didn’t in the least. after all, i’m a monster too, am i not?  ❞ ❝  i trust no one. learned that long ago.  ❞ ❝  it cannot be! you actually have a sense of humor.  ❞ ❝  didn’t ask for a lecture on probability. need a simple answer --- yes or no.  ❞ ❝  another word, and i shall spill even more blood. yours.  ❞ ❝  you feel resentment, i understand, but we shall work through all the unfortunate matters of the past.  ❞ ❝  stop playing dumb. i know everything...your plan.  ❞ ❝  honestly can’t see what all those dames see in you --- you’re a stick in the mud.  ❞ ❝  not showy, lovely location...perfect for romantic getaways.  ❞ ❝  i hope you’re not upset i came like this, without warning...  ❞ ❝  i’m still a long way from mastering anything. but i am trying.  ❞ ❝  now i know how you do it. just annoy your opponents to death.  ❞ ❝  word on the street is there’s a hefty bounty on your head.  ❞ ❝  for a few days now i’ve been having dizzy spells.  ❞ ❝  i’ve always had a way with ostensibly dangerous types.  ❞ ❝  wound doesn’t look good.    patch that up quick if i were you, before it starts festering.  ❞ ❝  always seemed to me you were a very complicated creature, by nature. not one to resort to such simple methods like drinking your worries away.  ❞ ❝  may i be honest? yes, i’m nervous. i really would prefer to just run off.  ❞ ❝  father always said a wise man learns from others’ mistakes, so here i am, learning from his.  ❞ ❝  ever since that horrid night...everything has changed.  ❞ ❝  what’s wrong? afraid? gut feeling queasy?  ❞ ❝  used to bother me, all your secrets...now i know if you have something to tell me, you’ll tell me.  ❞ ❝  i so don’t feel like going anywhere. sit here a while longer?  ❞ ❝  there’s something i’d like to know...how can you be so damned calm?  ❞ ❝  my knees quake like a carnival rattle.  ❞ ❝  honestly didn’t think this’d work. doubted anything would happen.  ❞

So, I don't think I've ever asked you this... what IS the whole point of the Spider-Sense? It really seems like something that only exists for writers to ignore or work around when they want to inject Legit Tension into a story.

I’ve thought about this power so much, but never with an eye to defend its right to exist, so I needed to think about this. The results could be more concise.

Ironically, given the question, I have to say its main purpose is to ramp up tension. But it’s also a highly variable multitool that a skilled creative team can use for...pretty much anything. It does everything the writer wants it to, while for its wielder always falls just short of doing enough.

I went looking through my photos for a really generic, classic-looking example to use as an image to head this topic, but then I ran into the time Peter absolutely did not reimburse this man for his stolen McDonald’s, so have that instead.

A Scare Chord, But You Can Draw It

That one post that says the spider-sense is just super-anxiety isn’t, like, wrong. It’s a very anxious, dramatic storytelling tool originally designed for a very anxious, dramatic protagonist. I find it speaks to the overall tone of the franchise that some characters are functionally psychics, but with a psychic ability that only points out problems.

Spidey sense pinging? There’s danger, be stressed! Broken? Now the lead won’t even KNOW when there’s a problem, scary! Single character is immune to it? That’s an invisible knife in the dark oh my god what the fuck what the fU--

Like its counterpart in garden variety anxiety, the only time the spider-sense reduces tension is in the middle of a crisis. But in the wish fulfillmenty way that you want in an adventure story to justify exaggerated action sequences, the same way enhanced strength or durability does. Also like those, it would theoretically make someone much safer to have it, but it exists in the story to let your character navigate into and weather more dangerous situations.

For its basic role in a story, a danger sense is a snappy way to rile up both the reader and the protagonist that doesn’t offer much information beyond that it’s time to sit smart because shit is about to go down.

Spidey comic canon is all over the board in quality and genre, and it started needing to subvert its formulas before the creators got a handle on what those formulas even were, and basically no one has read anything approaching most of it at this point, so for consistent examples of a really bare bones use of this power in storytelling, I’d point to the property that’s done the best job yet of boiling down the mechanics of Spider-Man to their absolute most basic essentials for adaptation to a compelling monster of the week TV series.

Or as you probably know it, Danny Phantom. DON’T BOO, I’M RIGHT.

DP is Spider-Man with about 2/3 of the serial numbers filed off and no death (ironically), and Danny’s ghost sense is the most proof in the formula example of what the spidey sense is for: It’s a big sign held up for the viewer that says, “Something is wrong! Pay attention!” Effectively a visual scare chord. It’s about That Drama. And it works, which won it a consistent place in the show’s formula. We’re talking several times an episode here.

So why does it work?

It’s a little counterintuitive, but it’s strong storytelling to tell your audience that something bad is going to happen before it does. A vague, punchy spoiler transforms the ignorant calm before a conflict into a tense moment of anticipation. ...And it makes sure people don’t fail to absorb the beginning of said conflict because they weren’t prepared to shift gears when the scene did. Shock is a valuable tool, too, but treating it like a staple is how you burn out your audience instead of keeping them engaged. Not to go after an easy target, but you need to know how to manage your audience’s alarm if you don’t want to end up like Game of Thrones.

The limits of the spider-sense also keep you on your toes when handled by a smart writer. It tells Peter (everyone’s is a little different, so I’m going to cite the og) about threats to his person, but it doesn’t elaborate with any details when it’s not already obvious why, what kind, and from what. And it doesn’t warn him about anything else-- Which is a pretty critical gap when you zoom out and look at his hero career’s successes and failures and conclude that it’s definitely why he’s lived as long as he has acting the way he does, but was useless as he failed to save a string of people he’d have much rather had live on than him.

(Any long-running superhero mythos has these incidents, but with Peter they’re important to the core themes.)

And since this power is by plot for plot (or because it’s roughly agreed it only really blares about threats that check at least two boxes of being major, immediate, or physical), it always kicks in enough to register when the danger is bearing down...when it’s too late to actually do anything about it if “anything” is a more complex action than “dodge”.

Really? Not until the elevator doors started to open?

That Distinctive, Crunchy Spider Flavor

The spider-sense and its little pen squiggles go hand in hand with wallcrawling (and its unique and instantly identifiable associated body language) to make the Spider-Person powerset enduringly iconic and elevate characters with it from being generic mid-level super-bricks. Visually, but also in how it shapes the story.

I said it can share a narrative role with super strength. But when you end a fight and go home, super strength continues to make your character feel powerful, probably safer than they’d be otherwise, maybe dangerous.

The spider-sense just keeps blaring, “Something’s wrong! Something’s wrong! God, why aren’t you doing something about this!?”

Pretty morose thing to live with, for a safety net! Kind of a double edged sword you have there! Could be constantly being hyperattuned to problems would prime you for a negative outlook on life. Kind of seems like a power that would make it impossible for a moral person to take a day off, leading them into a beleaguered and resentful yet dutiful attitude about the whole superhero gig! Might build up to some of the core traits of this mythos, maybe! Might lead to a lot of fifteen minute retirement stories, or something. Might even be a built in ‘great responsibility’ alarm that gets you a main character who as a rule is not going to stop fighting until he physically cannot fight anymore.

Certainly not apropos of anything, just throwing this short lived barely-a-joke tagline up for fun.

One of my personal favorite things about stories with superpowers is keeping in mind how they cause the people who have them to act in unusual ways outside of fights, so when you tell me that these people have an entire extra sense that tells them when the gas in their house is leaking through a barely useful hot/cold warning system that never turns off, I’m like, eyes emojis, popcorn out, notebook open, listening intently, spectacles on, the whole deal.

It also contributes to Peter Parker’s personality in a way I really enjoy: It allows him to act like an irrational maniac. When you know exactly when a situation becomes dangerous and how much, normal levels of caution go out the window and absolutely nothing you do makes sense from an exterior standpoint anymore. That’s the good shit. I would like to see more exploration of how the non-Parker characters experiencing the world in this incredibly altered way bounce in response.

It’s also one of many tools in this franchise hauling the reader into relating more closely with the main character. The backbone of classic Spidey is probably being in on secrets only Peter and the reader know which completely reframe how one views the situation on the page. It’s just a big irony mine for the whole first decade. A convenient way to inform the reader and the lead that something is bad news that’s not perceivable to any other characters is youth-with-a-big-exciting-secret catnip.

Another point for tension, there, in that being aware of danger is not synonymous with being able to act on it. If there’s no visible reason for you to be acting strange, well...you’re just going to have to sit tight and sweat, aren’t you? Some gratuitous head wiggles never hurt when setting up that type of conflict.

Have I mentioned that they look cool? Simultaneously punchy and distinctive, with a respectable amount of leeway for artists to get creative with and still coming up with something easily recognizable? And pretty easy to intuit the meaning of even without the long-winded explanations common in the days when people wrote comics with the intent that someone could come in cold on any random issue and follow along okay, I think, although the mechanic has been deeply ingrained in popular culture for so long that I can’t really say for sure.

It was also useful back in the day when no artists drew the eyes on the Spider-Man mask as emoting and were conveying the lead’s expressions entirely through body language and panel composition. If you wiggle enough squiggles, you don’t need eyebrows.

Take This Handwave and Never Ask Me a Logistical Question Again

This ability patches plot holes faster than people can pick them open AND it can act as an excuse to get any plot rolling you can think of if paired with one meddling protagonist who doesn’t know how to mind their own business. Buy it now for only $19.99 (in four installments; that’s four installments of $19.99).

Why can a teenager win a six on one fight against other superhumans? Well, the spider-sense is the ultimate edge in combat, duh.

Why can Peter websling? Why doesn’t everyone websling? Well, the spider-sense is keeping him from eating flagpole when he violently flings himself across New York in a way neither man nor spider was ever meant to move.

How are we supposed to get him involved with the plot this week???? Well, that crate FELT dangerous, so he’s going to investigate it. Oh, dip, it was full of guns and radioactive snakes! Probably shouldn’t have opened that!

Yeah, okay, but why isn’t it fixing everything, then? Isn’t it supposed to be why Peter has never accidentally unmasked in front of somebody? ('Nother entry for this section, take a shot.) That’s crazy sensitive! How does he still have any problems!? Is everything bad that’s ever happened to characters with this powerset bad writing!? --Listen, I think as people with uncanny senses that can tell us whether we are in danger with accuracy that varies from incredible to approximate (I am talking about the five senses that most people have), we should all know better than to underestimate our ability to tune them out or interpret them wrong and fuck ourselves up anyway. I honestly find this part completely realistic.

*SLAPS ROOF OF SPIDER-SENSE* YOU CAN FIT SO MANY STORIES IN THIS THING

The spider-sense is a clean branch into...whatever. There is the exact right balance of structure and wishy-washiness to build off of. A sample selection of whatevers that have been built:

It’s sci-fi and spy gadgets when Peter builds technology that can interface with it.

It’s quasi-mystical when Kaine and Annie-May get stronger versions of it that give them literal psychic visions, or when you want to get mythological and start talking about all the spider-characters being part of a grand web of fate.

Kaine loses his and it becomes symbolic of a future newly unbound by constraints, entangled thematically with the improved physical health he picked up at the same time -- a loss presented as a gain.

Peter loses his and almost dies 782 times in one afternoon because that didn’t make the people he provoked when he had it stop trying to kill him, and also because he isn’t about to start “””taking the subway’’””’ “‘’“”to work”””’’” like some kind of loser who doesn’t get a heads up when he’s about to hit a pigeon at 50mph.

Peter’s starts tuning into his wife’s anxiety and it’s a tool in a relationship study.

It starts pinging whenever Peter’s near his boss who’s secretly been replaced by a shapeshifter and he IGNORES IT because his boss is enough of an asshole that that doesn’t strike him as weird; now it’s a comedy/irony tool.

Into the Spider-Verse made it this beautiful poetic thing connecting all the spider-heroes in the multiverse and stacked up a story on it about instant connection, loss, and incredibly unlikely strangers becoming a found family. It was also aesthetic as FUCK. Remember the scene where Miles just hears barely intelligible whispering that’s all lines people say later in the film and then his own voice very clearly says “look out” and then the room explodes?? Fuck!!!!

Venom becomes immune to it after hitchhiking to Earth in Peter’s bone juice and it makes him a unique threat while telling a more-homoerotic-than-I-assume-was-originally-intended story about violation and how close relationships can be dangerous when they go sour.

It doesn’t work on people you trust for maximum soap opera energy. Love the innate tragedy of this feature coming up.

IN CONCLUSION I don’t have much patience for writers who don’t take advantage of it, never mind feel they need to write around it.

My headcanons For Gojo Satoru

This Dingus right here is a huge movie fan. Loves pretty much anything, the old classics black and white movies, foreign films, main stream movies and so bad that it’s good movies. He loves TV shows, he’s big Supernatural fanboy. Loves Dean  Winchester and strong shipper of Deancel, Walking Dead fan all the way. Both the comics, Tv show and games. (He only played the first season and balled his eyes out for a weeks, and refuses to play rest of the games) Dose have a soft spot of horror movies, Like The Screams, Halloween, The Saw  franchise, classic monster movies of course. Gotta respect the classics.

His favorite movies of all time are  Beetlejuice (Satoru’s roll model) Corpse Bride, Frankenweenie, Edward scissors hand The Princess Bride , all the old George Romero zombie movies, again classic monster movies, The Lord Of The Rings and Hobbit  franchise. He’s a big Bruce Campbell fan, and loves, loves all the Evil Dead movies and show. Loves Deadpool and has a huge man crush Ran Reynolds. Loves all Marvel Movies. Big Spider Man fanboy.

His favorite Disney movies are Princess and the frog, disney’s Atlantis, Tangrled, 101 Dalmatians, Emperors new groove, Hercules, Toy Story, but he can’t watch the 3rd because he will cry for ours.

He wasn’t a sorcerer, he would have loved to be an actor or  film Director.

Dose play videos games, Pretty much played all the telltale games, Loves Red Dead redemption games The second one is his favorite, and loves Arthur Morgan. He’s only played Season 1 of the Walking Dead and still not over Lee’s death. Loves Stardew Valley, Pokemon and Animal Crossing.

Our boy loves his sweets, but hates eating his veggies. Trying to get this grown ass man to eat veggies is like a small fish trying fight a great white shark. It’s fight everyone is going to lose.

His favorite Tv shows’s are the Walking Dead, Game of Throwns, The Office both American and British, Big Big Doctor Who fan, loves the 10th Doctor (David Tennen is his boy) Watched Pokémon Anime that has come out the years, knows the lore like that back of his hand.

This man loves to crossdress, love to wear fancy ballgown dress, sundress and  skirts. He can walk around in high heels with easy. He owns a lot high heels shoes.

Drinks a lot of coffee, 5-8 cups a day. Cannot stand the bitterness plane coffee. He adds 12 spoonful of sugar and milk to each cup. Hell is coffee isn’t really coffee pure sugar and milk or as Nanami dubs a cup of diabetes and tooth decay.

This man has the maturity of a 6 year old. He still think fart jokes are hilarious, it you say the word ‘booger’ this man child will start laughing uncontrollably, and he makes a lot dick jokes whenever he can and innuendos. He will even go into random empty classrooms and draw a lot of stupid doodles of random shit, like you would see in kids notebook if they were bored in class, and he draws lot of that penises. For some reason he draw dicks all over the chock bored. He’s been doing this since meddle and high school, he still thinks it funny. No body else dose. ... possibly Yuji.

He will out no where will start singing show toons. He just dose. Weather he’s in a meeting, doing a mission, teaching a class or singing in the shower, he will hum or sing out right of no where. Disney songs he knows by heart, themes of anime he’s into or watching. It helps him to relax... Or annoyed the shit of the others. 

He dose not care spots but he dose enjoy baseball.

Gojo Satour’s ideal s/o

This man is a huge tease and jokester. He need someone who can match or almost his Energy.  Humor is a very important thing to him, help deal with some shit that he had to go through. Someone with a good sence of humor is one attraction to him.

He’s a patien guy, and understands that it some people take getting out their shells, and he’s very excepting, but as long as you don’t try to kill or hurt is students things should be fine.

He is very overprotective lover. His s/o could very powerful sorcerer, capable of handling themselves in battle with curses or evil sorcerers, still doesn’t change that this man will worry and will step in if things will get hairy for liking. But al the same time of s/o a very strong sorcerer and knows how to care of themselves in n a battle it dose put Satoru’a mind at ease in away, still hate the idea of being away from his lover is something to them or they get hurt. If his s/o got badly injured or his s/o was about the brink of dying. HELL. HAVE. NO. FURY. TO. THIS. MAN’S. ANGER. He kill without think twice. No mercy, no secret changes, just death. He’ll rushed over to help his S/o and take them to Dr. Shoko, and will not leave until they are taken care and healed.

He’s his overprotective of his s/o and students so don’t fuck with any of them and no has to die. This man kill with thinking twice about it.

This man is loaded. As cash, and would give Yuji, Megumi and Nobara some money to enjoy themselves with. But this man dose love to spoil his s/o when he could. Somethings he will go overboard and his s/o tells him but it’s not necessarily to spend all this money on them. Which makes him love them even more because they not love him for his money. However Gojo being, well, Gojo will randomly get bouquets of flowers for his lovely s/o I will bring it to them randomly. It doesn’t matter if they’re teaching a class or and a very important meeting with Yaga-San, he’ll ust pop out of nowhere with a big goofy grin on his face and give his s/o the flowers kiss them and disappears, there is an awkward and annoying silence from from the students or the principal. And his s/o mildly embarrassed, but flattered shall go on as if nothing happened. And it becomes has become a running joke around in the school.

Hugs, Kissses and Cuddles are a must.  Again Satour doesn’t give a shit there is a meeting or A class being taught when this man wants affection, he’s going to get affection. He’ll come from behind and rest his head on his s/o’s chin on his s/o’s head. (Because the guy’s freakishly tall) And will just annoyin the shit out of then until he gets what he wants. Then he will leave them alone, maybe not. He’s Hot mess of chaotic energy after all. Plus he thinks it’s adorable When they get a little annoyed with him.

Being Married To Gojo Satoru or just have a  domestic life with him

This man never really saw himself getting married. It’s something that he was rather against for a while, until he meets his s/o. Nothings really changed in their relationship after they got married, did a few years and they just try to not have nowhere Most of everyone at the school cannot believe that someone would actually marry this maniac. Either his s/o is as as patient as a saint, just as bad shit crazy as Gojo Satour himself.

He dose everything in his power too make this work, and so dose his s/o. The two of them being power for sorcerers is basically a couple goal, The ultimate couple. At least Satour says. That being said working as a Jujutsu Sorcerer is both a mental, emotional and sometimes a physical strain on people. When things get too much for S/O, this man will stop what he’s doing, and will will be there his s/o, and his will be there for him when he the most. Having someone being there each is the most important thing in a relationships.

His clan was very against their relationship from the beginning. But Satour did not care, he loves who he loves so his clan/family can suck it.

His favorite nicknames for s/o are Sweetness, cutiepie, pumpkin, sugar, sweetheart, honeybuns and to get cringy Pookie. So weird one’s like Mochi cheeks, and beautiful or handsome. 

His favorite nickname that his s/o calls sweetie, honey, goofball, goober and  whackadoodle, knucklehead and dingus

When s/o are going away for a mission for a few a few days or few month, or Vice versa they would text, FaceTime pretty everyday. They talk about they day, and talk about the missions that had. Satour would have his students in the background who would say hello, and he and Yuji would make stupid jokes, and Nobara would laugh a bit and Megumi would roll his eyes in the background. And when his s/o get back from a mission this man is a very clingy little shit, he will hug the hell out his s/o when they get back. And would pout and whin if you have to a meeting or don’t have to see him. He’s a big a baby like that.

Over all this man is just big goofball, sure he’s annoying as fuck sometimes, but he dose cares about other’s. He’s a hot chaotic mess of a man, by God we love him for it.