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novelsmini · 3 months

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Non-communicable diseases (NCDs) are a group of medical conditions or diseases that are not primarily caused by infectious agents and cannot be transmitted directly from person to person.

Non-communicable diseases (NCDs) -

Non-communicable diseases (NCDs) are a group of medical conditions or diseases that are not primarily caused by infectious agents and cannot be transmitted directly from person to person. These diseases tend to have a chronic and long-duration nature, often progressing slowly over time. NCDs are also known as chronic diseases, and they typically result from a combination of genetic, environmental, behavioral, and metabolic factors. The major categories of non-communicable diseases include cardiovascular diseases, cancer, respiratory diseases, and diabetes.

Here is a more detailed overview of some common non-communicable diseases:

1. Cardiovascular Diseases (CVDs):

Coronary Artery Disease (CAD): A condition where the blood vessels that supply the heart muscle become narrowed or blocked, leading to reduced blood flow to the heart.

Stroke: A sudden interruption of blood supply to the brain, often caused by a blood clot or a burst blood vessel.

Heart Failure: A chronic condition where the heart is unable to pump blood effectively, leading to fatigue, shortness of breath, and fluid retention.

2. Cancer:

A group of diseases characterized by the uncontrolled growth and spread of abnormal cells.

Types of cancer include lung cancer, breast cancer, prostate cancer, colorectal cancer, and many others.

3. Respiratory Diseases:

Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD): A group of lung diseases, including chronic bronchitis and emphysema, that result in airflow obstruction and breathing difficulties.

Asthma: A chronic inflammatory condition of the airways that leads to recurrent episodes of wheezing, breathlessness, chest tightness, and coughing.

4. Diabetes:

Type 1 Diabetes: An autoimmune condition where the body's immune system attacks and destroys insulin-producing cells in the pancreas.

Type 2 Diabetes: A condition characterized by insulin resistance, where the body's cells do not respond properly to insulin, leading to elevated blood sugar levels.

5. Neurological Diseases:

Alzheimer's Disease: A progressive brain disorder that affects memory, thinking, and behavior.

Parkinson's Disease: A neurodegenerative disorder that primarily affects movement, causing tremors, stiffness, and difficulty with balance and coordination.

6. Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD):

A gradual loss of kidney function over time, leading to the accumulation of waste products and fluid imbalances in the body.

Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD) is a long-term condition characterized by the gradual loss of kidney function over time. The kidneys play a crucial role in filtering waste and excess fluids from the blood, regulating electrolyte balance, and producing hormones that help control blood pressure and red blood cell production. CKD can lead to various complications and, in its advanced stages, may require treatments such as dialysis or kidney transplantation. Here are key details about chronic kidney disease:

Stages of CKD:

CKD is typically categorized into five stages based on the glomerular filtration rate (GFR), which measures how well the kidneys are filtering blood. The stages are as follows:

1. Stage 1: Kidney damage with normal or increased GFR (≥90 mL/min).

2. Stage 2: Mildly decreased GFR (60-89 mL/min).

3. Stage 3: Moderately decreased GFR (30-59 mL/min), further divided into Stage 3a and Stage 3b.

4. Stage 4: Severely decreased GFR (15-29 mL/min).

5. Stage 5: Kidney failure (GFR <15 mL/min or on dialysis).

Causes and Risk Factors:

1. Diabetes Mellitus: One of the leading causes of CKD.

2. Hypertension (High Blood Pressure): Uncontrolled high blood pressure can damage the kidneys over time.

3. Glomerulonephritis: Inflammation of the kidney's filtering units.

4. Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD): Inherited condition characterized by the formation of fluid-filled cysts in the kidneys.

5. Autoimmune Diseases: Conditions like lupus and other autoimmune disorders can affect the kidneys.

6. Obstruction of Urinary Tract: Conditions blocking the normal flow of urine, such as kidney stones or tumors.

Symptoms:

Early stages of CKD may not present noticeable symptoms. As the disease progresses, symptoms may include:

1. Fatigue

2. Swelling (Edema)

3. Changes in Urination (increased or decreased frequency)

4. Hypertension

5. Itching

6. Loss of Appetite

7. Nausea and Vomiting

8. Difficulty Concentrating

Diagnosis:

1. Blood Tests: Assessing creatinine and blood urea nitrogen (BUN) levels.

2. Urinalysis: Detecting abnormalities in urine, such as protein or blood.

3. Imaging Studies: Ultrasound, CT scan, or MRI to visualize kidney structure.

4. Kidney Biopsy: In some cases, a small tissue sample may be taken for examination.

Treatment and Management:

1. Control of Underlying Conditions: Managing conditions such as diabetes and hypertension to slow the progression of CKD.

2. Medications: Prescribed to manage symptoms, control blood pressure, and treat complications.

3. Dietary Changes: Adjustments to manage electrolyte balance, reduce protein intake, and control blood pressure.

4. Lifestyle Modifications: Smoking cessation, regular exercise, and maintaining a healthy weight.

5. Dialysis: In advanced stages of CKD, dialysis (hemodialysis or peritoneal dialysis) may be required to perform the kidney's filtration function artificially.

6. Kidney Transplantation: A viable option for some individuals with end-stage kidney disease.

Prognosis:

The prognosis for individuals with CKD varies depending on the stage at diagnosis, the underlying cause, and how well the condition is managed. Early detection and intervention are critical for slowing the progression of CKD and preventing complications. Regular monitoring by healthcare professionals, adherence to treatment plans, and lifestyle modifications play essential roles in managing chronic kidney disease.

7. Musculoskeletal Conditions:

Osteoarthritis: A degenerative joint disease that results from the breakdown of joint cartilage and underlying bone.

Osteoarthritis (OA) is the most common form of arthritis and a prevalent musculoskeletal disorder. It primarily affects the joints, leading to the degeneration of cartilage and changes in the underlying bone. Osteoarthritis can occur in any joint but often affects weight-bearing joints and those subject to repetitive use. Here are key details about osteoarthritis:

Causes and Risk Factors:

1. Age: Osteoarthritis is more common in older individuals, and the risk increases with age.

2. Joint Overuse: Repetitive use or excessive stress on a joint, either through work or sports activities, can contribute to the development of OA.

3. Genetics: There is a genetic component, with a higher likelihood of developing OA if it runs in the family.

4. Obesity: Excess body weight puts additional stress on weight-bearing joints, increasing the risk of osteoarthritis.

5.Joint Injuries: Previous joint injuries, such as fractures or ligament tears, can predispose individuals to OA.

Pathophysiology:

1. Cartilage Degeneration: The hallmark of osteoarthritis is the gradual breakdown of articular cartilage, the smooth tissue that covers the ends of bones in a joint.

2. Bone Changes: As cartilage deteriorates, the underlying bone may undergo changes, such as the formation of bone spurs (osteophytes).

3. Synovial Inflammation: Inflammation of the synovium, the lining of the joint capsule, can occur, contributing to pain and swelling.

4. Joint Stiffness: Loss of cartilage and changes in the joint structure can lead to stiffness and reduced range of motion.

Symptoms:

1. Pain: Osteoarthritis typically causes joint pain, especially during or after movement.

2. Stiffness: Joints may feel stiff, especially after periods of inactivity.

3. Swelling: Inflammation in the joint can result in swelling.

4. Decreased Range of Motion: Joint movement may become limited.

5. Grating Sensation: Some individuals may experience a grating or grinding sensation (crepitus) during joint movement.

Common Sites:

1. Knees: Osteoarthritis of the knee is quite common, especially in weight-bearing individuals.

2. Hips: Osteoarthritis in the hip joints can lead to pain and reduced mobility.

3. Hands: Finger joints, especially at the ends of the fingers and at the base of the thumb, can be affected.

4. Spine: Osteoarthritis can affect the spine, particularly the lower back and neck.

Diagnosis and Treatment:

1. Clinical Evaluation: A healthcare professional assesses symptoms, medical history, and performs a physical examination.

2. Imaging Studies: X-rays, MRI, or CT scans may be used to visualize joint damage.

3. Blood Tests: While not specific for OA, blood tests may be done to rule out other types of arthritis.

4. Treatment Options:

- Medications: Pain relievers, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), and in some cases, joint injections with corticosteroids.

- Physical Therapy: Exercises to improve joint strength and flexibility.

- Lifestyle Modifications: Weight management, joint protection strategies, and assistive devices.

- Surgical Options: In severe cases, joint replacement surgery may be considered.

Osteoarthritis is a chronic condition, and management focuses on relieving symptoms, improving joint function, and enhancing overall quality of life. Early intervention and a multidisciplinary approach involving healthcare professionals, physical therapists, and, if necessary, surgeons, can contribute to effective management of osteoarthritis.

- Rheumatoid Arthritis: An autoimmune disorder that primarily affects the joints, causing inflammation and joint damage.

Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is an autoimmune disorder that primarily affects the joints, causing chronic inflammation, joint pain, and progressive damage. Unlike osteoarthritis, which is mainly associated with wear and tear on joints, rheumatoid arthritis involves the immune system mistakenly attacking healthy joint tissues. Here are key details about rheumatoid arthritis:

Causes and Risk Factors:

1. Autoimmune Response: The exact cause of rheumatoid arthritis is not known, but it is believed to involve an autoimmune response where the immune system attacks the synovium, the lining of the membranes surrounding the joints.

2. Genetic Factors: There is a genetic component, and individuals with a family history of RA may have an increased risk.

3. Environmental Triggers: Certain environmental factors, such as infections, may trigger the development of rheumatoid arthritis in genetically predisposed individuals.

4. Gender and Age: RA is more common in women than in men, and it often begins between the ages of 30 and 60.

Pathophysiology:

1. Synovial Inflammation: Inflammation primarily targets the synovium, resulting in pain, swelling, and warmth in the affected joints.

2. Pannus Formation: Chronic inflammation can lead to the formation of a thickened synovial tissue called pannus, which invades and damages surrounding cartilage and bone.

3. Joint Erosion: Over time, the continuous inflammation and pannus formation can cause joint erosion, leading to deformities and functional impairment.

Symptoms:

1. Joint Pain: Persistent joint pain, often affecting multiple joints symmetrically.

2. Swelling and Warmth: Swelling and warmth around the affected joints due to inflammation.

3. Morning Stiffness: Stiffness, particularly in the morning or after periods of inactivity.

4. Fatigue: Generalized fatigue and a feeling of malaise.

5. Fever: Some individuals may experience a low-grade fever.

Common Sites:

1. Hands and Wrists: RA often affects the small joints of the hands and wrists, leading to deformities like swan-neck deformity and boutonniere deformity.

2. Feet: Joints in the feet, including the ankles, may be affected.

3. Knees and Hips: Larger joints like knees and hips can also be involved.

4. Cervical Spine: In some cases, RA can affect the cervical spine, leading to instability and potential neurological complications.

Diagnosis and Treatment:

1. Clinical Evaluation: A thorough examination by a healthcare professional, including assessment of symptoms, joint function, and physical findings.

2. Blood Tests: Rheumatoid factor (RF) and anti-cyclic citrullinated peptide (anti-CCP) antibodies are often elevated in RA.

3. Imaging Studies: X-rays, MRI, or ultrasound may be used to visualize joint damage.

4. Treatment Options:

- Disease-Modifying Antirheumatic Drugs (DMARDs): Medications that help slow or modify the progression of RA.

- Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs (NSAIDs): To relieve pain and reduce inflammation.

- Corticosteroids: Short-term use for more severe symptoms or flare-ups.

- Physical and Occupational Therapy: Exercises and techniques to maintain joint function and reduce disability.

- Surgery: In advanced cases, joint replacement surgery may be considered.

Prognosis:

Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic condition with a variable course. Early diagnosis and aggressive management can help control symptoms and slow disease progression, preventing joint damage and deformities. The goal of treatment is to achieve remission or low disease activity, allowing individuals with RA to maintain a good quality of life.

Regular monitoring by healthcare professionals, adherence to treatment plans, and lifestyle modifications contribute to effective management of rheumatoid arthritis. It's important for individuals with RA to work closely with their healthcare team to tailor a treatment plan that addresses their specific needs and concerns.

8. Mental Health Disorders:

- Depression: A common mental health disorder characterized by persistent sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, and other symptoms affecting daily life.

-Anxiety Disorders: Conditions characterized by excessive worry, fear, or nervousness.

Mental health disorders, also known as mental illnesses or psychiatric disorders, are conditions that affect a person's thoughts, feelings, behavior, or a combination of these. These disorders can significantly impact an individual's daily life, relationships, and overall well-being. Mental health disorders are diverse, ranging from mild to severe, and they can affect people of all ages, backgrounds, and walks of life.

Here are some common categories of mental health disorders:

1. Mood Disorders:

- Depression: Characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities.

- Bipolar Disorder: Involves alternating periods of depression and mania (elevated mood, increased energy, and impulsive behavior).

2. Anxiety Disorders:

- Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): Excessive worry and anxiety about various aspects of life, often without a specific cause.

- Panic Disorder: Involves sudden and intense episodes of fear (panic attacks) accompanied by physical symptoms.

3. Psychotic Disorders:

- Schizophrenia: A chronic mental illness characterized by distorted thinking, hallucinations, delusions, and impaired social functioning.

4. Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders:

- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): Involves unwanted and intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions).

5. Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders:

- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Occurs after exposure to a traumatic event, leading to intrusive memories, avoidance, and changes in mood and thinking.

6. Eating Disorders:

- Anorexia Nervosa: Characterized by an intense fear of gaining weight, leading to extreme restriction of food intake and often resulting in emaciation.

- Bulimia Nervosa: Involves episodes of overeating followed by compensatory behaviors such as vomiting, fasting, or excessive exercise.

7. Personality Disorders:

- Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Characterized by unstable relationships, self-image, and emotions, along with impulsive behavior.

- Antisocial Personality Disorder: Involves a pattern of disregard for the rights of others, deceit, impulsivity, and lack of empathy.

8. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD):

- Characterized by persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, often diagnosed in childhood.

9. Neurodevelopmental Disorders:

- Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD): A range of conditions characterized by challenges in social interaction, communication, and repetitive behaviors.

10. Substance-Related and Addictive Disorders:

- Involves the misuse of substances, leading to addiction and various health and social consequences.

It's important to note that mental health disorders are complex, and their causes can be multifaceted, including genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors. Effective treatment often involves a combination of psychotherapy, medication, support from loved ones, and lifestyle changes. Seeking professional help from mental health professionals, such as psychologists, psychiatrists, or counselors, is crucial for accurate diagnosis and appropriate management of mental health disorders. Additionally, reducing stigma and promoting mental health awareness play vital roles in fostering a supportive and understanding community.

Preventive measures for non-communicable diseases often involve lifestyle modifications, including adopting a healthy diet, engaging in regular physical activity, avoiding tobacco use, limiting alcohol consumption, and managing stress. Early detection and management of risk factors, as well as proper medical care, play crucial roles in preventing and controlling NCDs. Public health initiatives also focus on raising awareness, promoting healthy behaviors, and improving access to healthcare services to address the global burden of non-communicable diseases.

#lifestyle #health is wealth #women health #health issues #women

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haikyuu-boys-headcanons · 3 years

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𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 - 𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝚇 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂

hehe, i’m back at it again with one of these long ass posts but this idea’s literally been in my head all day long so here you go !! obvious nsfw warning :)

tw: this whole post is just nsfw and embarrassing to read so read at your own risk >:)

𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » during a super intense and loud session, his voice cracked as he asked you “does that feel goOD- good baby?” to this day, he still prays that you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own moans

𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » you were riding him and he went to slap your ass, but something went wrong either because you were riding too quickly or he was shaking too much, boy ended up slapping himself in the balls. you’ve never heard that boy scream that loud in your life

𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » literally pulled out in the middle of sex to get up and rush to the corner of his room to flip around his childhood teddy bears. your just laying there with your tiddies and coochie out waiting for asahi to shield the eyes of mr. wiggles

𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » you two were having pretty intense shower sex until tanaka did the number one thing your not supposed to do during shower sex; this muthafucker slipped while holding you. long story short, y’all were okay but just ended up having nasty shower floor sex??

𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » this tiny ass 5′2 man was unconsciously humping your leg while you were both asleep?? his presumably pleasurable wet dream had turned into a sudden nightmare when you literally had to KICK him off you to stop the humping. bad nishinoya, bad!

𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » came WAYYY too early inside you, but he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just... kept going. sadly, no one had warned kageyama of the intense effects of overstimulation. he was shaking and whimpering so badly behind you to the point where you had to ask him to pull out and bring him a glass of water to calm down

𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » the first time you squirted on him, he just blatantly asked you these exact few words that left you feeling mortified: “did you just piss on me?” nuh uh hinata, this water fountain ain’t yours to drown in anymore >:(

𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » kei was hitting it from the back pretty hard this time, so hard that you were suddenly... on an angle? suddenly, now you two were much closer to the floor than before. the bed ended up collapsing, yes literally collapsing due to kei’s powerful thrusts. worst part is, nobody got to finish since kei dragged you to ikea to grumpily buy a new bedframe. but hey, he bought you ikea meatballs; that shit hits so different

𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » one super duper intense night, he passed out the SECOND he came. no matter how much you flicked the temple of his forehead, yamaguchi was dead asleep. you had to literally slap him awake to get him to clean up, you ain’t risking a ranky stanky UTI puthy in the morning

𝙾𝙸𝙺𝙰𝚆𝙰 » kept calling himself a sex machine during the act. i don’t know if it was due to the 6 tequila shots he had beforehand or just his inner ego revealing, whatever it was it was about to make your pussy close

𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » this one time, he kept going in at a weird angle which caused you to repeatedly queef for 7 minutes straight. every time you told him to pull out and go in properly, he laughed and kept going in at that one weird angle!! was your embarrassment a turn on for him?? maybe!! but were you mortified? absolutely!!

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » i’m sorry to have to be the one to announce this, but this man had the worst case of full blown bush you’ve ever seen. like, he didn’t even try to manscape or anything at all. you ended up begging him to trim just a tiny bit because you weren’t gonna risk choking on a pube whilst your going down on him

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 » rubbed your left labia thinking it was your clit. and he kept doing that. the whole. fucking. time. even when you subtly moved his fingers towards your clit, he just kept going back to the left lip.

𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » had the most dry and dull dirty talk you’ve ever heard. like, it’s not even dirty talk at this point; it’s just clean talk. there’s no passion when he talks! he uses the same tone he would use for anyone else at any other moment. to paint the picture, imagine riding kunimi and he’s just there with a furrowed expression like “yup, that feels really good”

𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » tried to pull one of those unexpected anal scenes that he saw from a porno, without telling you beforehand. life lesson here; if you party at shit's house, don't be surprised if shit's at the party

𝙺𝚄𝚁𝙾𝙾 » you two were looking to get a little more kinky in terms of BDSM, so kuroo watched like 30 tutorials on youtube on how to safely tie you up so you won’t fall or anything. this bitch ended up tying rope knots that were practically impossible to undo, which resulted in you hanging from the ceiling for approximately 2 hours pussy-ass naked while kuroo tried to cut you down with a kitchen knife

𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » wanted to spice things up with some dirty talk, like the real nasty talk they use in pornos but not the normal pornos; the shitty company ones with horrific acting. he really ended up announcing that he was going to “fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat”

𝙻𝙴𝚅 » got super excited while he was opening the lube since he hadn’t gotten to fuck you in a WHILE, which resulted the lube leaked everywhere and a giant 6′5 man slipping and hitting his head on the bed frame. worst part is; he had to go to the ER with a hard on that refused to go away

𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » speaking of boners that wouldn’t go away, let’s not forget that one time bokuto took two viagras when you texted him to come over for a special occasion. he horribly misinterpreted the ‘special occasion’ text, because he showed up to your house with a huge buldge in his pants as your parents stand before him holding anniversary cards, completely horrified

𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » wanted to make valentines day sex as romantic as he could, so he did the classic lighting candles and giving roses. everything was beautiful, until he accidently knocked one of the bigger candles over during missionary. this not only caused a huge ass fire in your bedroom, but he came right as the fire began to spread. boy was debating on whether his orgasm was to die for or not

𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » had a nose bleed when he was going down on you and you both were immediately horrified, you thinking it was your period and him thinking he just ate coochie blood. yet as you went to go clean up, you realized his face had much more blood on it than your coochie did. to this day, he still blames it on your period

𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » threw you onto the bed and your head went through the wall. he didn’t even bother to ask you if you were okay, he just sighed and went “well, now i have to make a call to the construction guy. excuse me” and he left you and your concussed ass head sit there once again, pussy ass naked

𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » during a blowjob, he held your head down right as he was coming causing the cum to shoot up your throat and somehow pour out of your nose. by the time he pulled out, he could barely breath from laughing at you. sure, the classic ‘milk shooting out of nose’ thing was funny at first until you got a sinus infection and had to breath out of your mouth for the next three days

𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 » always insists having sex in the most inconvenient places?? like he would pull you to side while grocery shopping and start grinding up against you as you pick which brand of cheese would be better??

𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » he kept getting frustrated that his bangs were clouding his field of vision, so he irritably grabbed a hair tie and frantically tied up the sides of his bangs while he was fucking you. you immediately burst out laughing since he looked exactly like boo from monsters inc.

𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » got so drunk that he ended up fucking the couch. like he was just there on top of you, and his dick was just sliding between the folds of the leather couch. you decided to let him finish like that

𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » had a really bad reaction to one of the products he used while shaving and ended up getting super irritated down there so he kept having to pull out in-between thrusts to itch his crotch. to make things worse, you joking suggested that he looked like he had syphilis and he got so disgusted at the idea of that thought that he literally had to pull out and take a breather

𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » drizzled ‘warm’ chocolate down your chest and was about to seductively lick it off until you screamed in pain and horror as the chocolate was literally burning your skin off. osamu panicked, obviously not knowing what to do if chocolate was burning his partners skin off so he just... frantically licked it off. you still had to go to the ER afterwards to get treated for mild burns

𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝚄 » didn’t know what a hymen was until the first time he tried to have sex with you. no matter how much he tried to shove his schlong in, it really just wasn’t working + “yer puss is broken”

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » pinched your nipples so fucking hard to the point where you started crying. he thoughts these were tears of pleasure until you literally had to kick him off you. but hey, he gave you ice for your sore nipples and mcdonalds! what more could a girl possibly want :)

uh the end lol

also, this idea was inspired by the first haikyuu headcanon i ever read, “awkward sex moments” by @bbytetsu <3

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tiramisiyu · 3 years

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【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Main Story 7-35 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Video

Chapter 7 – Rains of Monte Cristo: 7-1 / 7-3 / 7-5 / 7-7 / 7-9 / 7-11 / 7-13 / 7-15 / 7-17 / 7-19 ♦️ ♦️ 7-20 / 7-22 / 7-24 / 7-26 / 7-28 / 7-30 / 7-32 / 7-34 / 7-35

Content Warning: This section contains topics that may be uncomfortable to some readers (mentions of abuse). Please proceed with discretion.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Court Hallway

After the trial ended, I did not leave immediately. Rather, I waited in the hallway for Hang Jiahe.

Soon, she walked over, guarded by two bailiffs.

MC: Miss Hang.

Hang Jiahe: What are you doing here? Are you going to laugh at me?

Hang Jiahe: Are you happy to have beat me?

MC: You’ve misunderstood. I came to tell you something.

Hang Jiahe: What?

MC: Actually… this examination report…

I took out that last examination report again.

MC: Due to time and technical limits, we currently do not have the identification results.

MC: When I showed it in court, I just wanted to add psychological pressure onto you.

Hang Jiahe: …

Hang Jiahe froze for a few seconds, but she then responded quickly.

Hang Jiahe: You tricked me… you tricked me… hahahahahahaha!

She suddenly burst into sharp laughter.

Hang Jiahe: I didn’t lose… I didn’t lose…

Hang Jiahe: I still got my revenge!

MC: …

MC: Miss Hang, can I ask you something?

Hang Jiahe: What do you want to say?

MC: You said in court that Qi Yu tried to hold Hang Fei back “that night”.

MC: But you still murdered her out of hate for her bystander position, correct?

Hang Jiahe: Yes, I hated her for being a coward, hated her for being too scared to resist Hang Fei, hated her for looking on for so many years without lifting a finger!

Hang Jiahe: She knew during those years what Hang Fei was doing to me, so why didn’t she save me?

MC: …

Hang Jiahe: Then… did you know that Hang Fei had also been abusing Qi Yu during those years?

Hang Jiahe: I did. How could she not have been beaten, with how cowardly she was?

MC: Then do you know why she was beaten?

Hang Jiahe: Why?

MC: …

I took out my phone and opened a video featuring Qi Yu’s abuse. That small woman was lying weakly on the floor, passively enduring the man’s punches and kicks. But she kept mumbling something –

“Don’t hurt Jiahe… and those children… stop it…”

Hang Jiahe: What…

MC: Miss Hang, did Qi Yu never do anything during all those times you were abused?

MC: Are you sure that every time, she chose to be a bystander, rather than being forced into her position?

MC: Did you know that Qi Yu said those words in each of the videos she was beaten in?

Hang Jiahe: I…

Hang Jiahe froze for a second, but then she immediately reacted.

Hang Jiahe: So what, then? What do you want to say?

Hang Jiahe: That I misunderstood her? That I shouldn’t have killed her? Then does all the pain I suffered for so many years even matter?

Hang Jiahe: You want me to absolve her? To forgive her?

MC: You’ve misunderstood. That’s not what I mean.

MC: I am not you. I have not endured your suffering, so I cannot request for you to forgive anyone.

MC: I haven’t seen what happened during those years, so I cannot judge whether Qi Yu was actively or passively making her decisions.

MC: And I definitely can’t carelessly determine whether she sinned or not.

I stopped for a moment and looked at Hang Jiahe’s gloves.

In her mind, she probably was the Count of Monte Cristo, Edmond Dantès – someone who had been wronged and could only get revenge for herself. She believed herself as intelligent and as lucky as Edmond, that she would ultimately be the winner. But…

MC: But even Edmond would figure out the situation before his revenge and repay his benefactors.

MC: I’m telling you this, only because I hope you’ll understand what sorts of people you sent away.

MC: I hope you understand that there have been people who intended to treat you kindly.

Hang Jiahe: …

MC: Also, Miss Hang, I can guess why you were not willing to ask for help from the police.

MC: In that sort of situation, you may have thought that you couldn’t rely on the outside world to go against them.

MC: But even so, me, Captain Morgan, and many, many people still have to do something.

I flipped further into the examination report.

MC: Even if Hang Fei is gone, the things he’s done will not disappear with him.

MC: This is the report we’ve created. Captain Morgan’s already sent it to upper management and applied for international cooperation.

MC: Miss Hang, we will bring you the justice you deserve for the pain you’ve experienced.

MC: As for the last few people, I promise that they will receive the punishment they deserve.

MC: So, for the rest of your life, please don’t live in hate.

MC: You’ve already stayed in the darkness for long enough. Please try to take a step forward.

MC: Doesn’t it say that in your beloved “The Count of Monte Cristo”?

MC: “He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness.”

MC: Miss Hang, if possible, please try it.

MC: Perhaps the light you’ve always been searching for isn’t too far away.

Hang Jiahe: …

Hang Jiahe: Ha… ha… hahahahaha!

Hang Jiahe broke into sudden, sharp laughter. It sounded like a heartrending sob was woven in it, as it resounded in the empty hallway, melting into the rain.

Amid the grey deluge of rain, specks of light leaked through. Maybe the downpour would finally end this time.

Not long after, Simon’s homicide case opened trial, and Wang Chunchong was deemed the murderer. Xingrui Estates declared that they would be depriving Xu Yin of her position and removing her from the family. Only Tyson received the weakest blow, as the evidence for instigation of murder was insufficient. However, lots of people online were saying that they hoped he would “succumb to the demon of illness as soon as possible”.

Thus, the homicide case of the couple in Yaofu Community came to an end.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

NXX Base

After the Hang Jiahe case concluded, the NXX investigation team met up at the base again for discussion.

MC: That’s how the Hang Jiahe case went.

Marius: Thanks for your hard work!

Artem: Thanks for your hard work. You did excellently.

Luke and Vyn nodded at me.

MC: Thanks, everyone.

MC: Enough about me – how’s everyone else’s investigation?

Artem: I’ve already updated Tyson’s case file. I haven’t found any new clues for now.

Marius: I followed what Wang Chunchong said and investigated that guy named Xiao Ren, but…

Marius: I haven’t found anything for now.

Luke: You also found out about Xiao Ren?

Marius: Huh?

Vyn: What a coincidence. I, too, found out about him.

MC: !!!

Luke: Marius, what information do you have on Xiao Ren right now?

Marius: Mainly what Wang Chunchong told me before.

Marius sighed.

Marius: According to Wang Chunchong, Xiao Ren is linked to Heirson’s raw materials purchases.

Marius: Tyson held Xiao Ren to very high regard, and keeps his occupational information on severe confidential status.

Marius: All in all, this person seems pretty mysterious.

Marius: What about you, Luke? What did you find?

Luke: The aunties in the group told me that Zhao Fei kept looking for someone called “Xiao Ren”.

Luke: I suspect that Tyson brought up this person in the recording that he sent him.

Marius: That’s possible. Wang Chunchong also heard Tyson bring up Xiao Ren, so there should be some sort of link between them.

Artem: Luke, that’s not all the information that the assistive team provided you, is it?

Luke: Yep, that’s not all.

Luke: First, the workers in Heirson where the abnormalities appeared were mostly on the production front lines, so what they touch the most are the products.

Vyn: They probably mixed in their developed illegal drugs into the products, resulting in infection.

Luke: That’s right.

Luke: Secondly, about Zhao Fei…

Luke ripped out a page from his notebook and placed it on the table.

Artem: These names are…

Luke: When I was questioning these ten people about Zhao Fei, their reactions were a bit abnormal. I suspect that…

Luke: They’re the ones hiding Zhao Fei.

MC: What about you, then, Dr. Richter? You just said that you also found out about Xiao Ren.

Vyn: I spoke with half of the 20 special respondents and noticed that it was the same doctor in charge of their examinations.

Vyn: And that person is named “Xiao Ren”.

Vyn: So I suspect that this person knows many secrets regarding Heirson’s experimental data.

MC: If so, this Xiao Ren person knows about where raw materials come from and can deal with the experimental data…

MC: If we can find him, we might be able to patch up the missing part in our evidence chain against Heirson.

Marius: So this Xiao Ren is going to be our investigative focal point from now on?

Luke: Leave it to me, then. I’m the best when it comes to finding people.

Artem: Then leave Zhao Fei to me. I just happen to have something I want to confirm with him.

Vyn: I have only met with the special patients. I will continue to meet with the remaining bunch.

Vyn: Marius, what are your plans?

Marius: Me? I plan to go see Hang Jiahe.

Marius: She wanted to find reporters in the past to drop major news about Heirson, and she’s now in jail…

Marius: We should find out what this news is.

MC: Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about that!

Marius: So, jiejie, want to come with me to see Hang Jiahe? After all, only the two of us know her the best.

MC: Uh…

I suddenly had a bad feeling.

Luke: Marius, do you really need someone to accompany you just to go see someone?

Marius: I’m not going to see a typical person, am I? I’m going to see someone who might give us an important clue.

Marius: It makes sense to be a little more cautious and bring someone else.

Luke: Then just bring your assistant. If anything else, then bring some recording equipment.

Luke: Convenient, and it can record in real time.

MC: …

Right after, Artem spoke.

Artem: Zhao Fei’s case was ours to begin with, and now that we have clues…

Artem: MC, let’s finish it off, alright?

MC: Lawyer Wing…

Vyn: I may be overstepping, but…

Vyn stepped in just before Artem could speak again.

Vyn: May I trouble you to go with me next?

Vyn: There’s a special patient that I need your assistance with.

Faced with their “eager” eyes, I was very sure that –

The investigation team seriously needs to recruit a new member!

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼ CHAPTER 7 END ✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

#Tears of Themis #tears of themis translations #tot translations #lu jinghe #zuo ran #xia yan #mo yi #marius von hagen #artem wing #luke pearce #vyn richter #未定事件簿 #feels bad for hjh :'(

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blackcherrykiss · 3 years

Text

BLOOD BOUNDARIES - Enhypen OT7 Fanfic (ch.5)

[CH.1] [CH.2] [CH.3] [CH.4] previous chapters

[CH.6] next chapter (now available!)

genre: vampire au, romance, drama, mystery, thriller

note: written inspired by enhypen's storyline, given-taken lyrics & teasers. please keep in mind all members are apart of this fanfic and the main theme is mystery/drama!

P.S Niki and Sunoo's roles become bigger in later chapters :) sorry I took 2 weeks to update. School + new enhypen teasers made me alter the story now jesus their lore is confusingly interesting. Didn't proofread half of this chapter LOL. Happy readings <3

"Well now that everyone is here, I'd like to announce we have a new student who just transferred here." Your eyes were immediately drawn to the student's platinum blonde hair. Despite his sharp and charismatic face, his eyes were delicate and innocent. He had an exceptionally small face and a sunkissed skin tone. The new student snapped himself around so that the entire classroom got a good look at him, "Hello, my name is Park Jongseong or Jay, call me whatever you feel." He bowed slightly, his voice having a cool ring that played over in your head.

"Everybody please welcome Jay to our astronomy class. Lend him any of our previous notes because midterms are coming up and I'd appreciate as a teacher if you guys helped him catch up before our long weekend coming up in two weeks." Your teacher gave a warm smile, nodding in such a way that made the rest of the class nod with her.

Without a student saying a word, everyone's eyes followed him as he took a seat at a desk a couple of rows in front of you.

You stared at him tirelessly, barely listening as your teacher rambled off-topic. You noticed Jay often stared out at the crying sky that occasionally flickered with lightning. His eyes focused intently on the woods. You were sure you weren't the only one who was interested in the new boy as you frequently caught other students glancing over at him every few seconds. Jay carried an attractive and dark aura that clearly contrasted from the crowd. Both girls and boys stared at him not because of his pretty face but because he was far different from the new students who had joined your school mid-semester.

The class flew by for you because of Jay until a simple but intriguing question was purposed by the teacher, "Bonus marks today if anyone can guess when the next full moon is." she lifted her eyes off the projector for a few moments, waiting for answers to come sailing.

"Saturday?" Somebody from the front called out, followed by numerous answers that ranged between the second week to the fourth week of the month.

"Come on now. Don't blurt out, give others chances to guess. Jay why don't you guess?" Your teacher questioned welcomingly, expecting no answer from him.

He leaned back in his chair, scraping the non-writing end of his ballpen on his thumb, "November 30." A gentle sound of thunder playing perfectly when he said the answer; like some sort of scene out of a comic.

"Ding ding ding!" Your teacher switched to a PowerPoint slide with the new unit name bolded, "I know this isn't part of the curriculum but I got it approved by the head of the school." She took a breath, giving students time to comprehend what was presented in front of them. "Our next unit will be looking deeper at the moon. More specifically, we'll be looking at both the sciency and non-sciency sides of this topic. And before anyone asks; no, you don't need to believe in astrology or superstitions to understand the non-sciency material. It's just very fascinating because it connects to many cultures." Your attention was now far away from Jay. You were enthusiastic about a topic for once in the class.

"And looks like we're running out of time." Your teacher's wrist clock blocking her eyes. "That's it for today's class everyone! I'll have your projects marked for next class, I promise! Have a good day." She said while shutting off the projector.

You slid all your handouts into your binder, not bothering to align the three-hole punches of the papers to their designated rings.

"Y/N before you go, do you mind helping out Jay? Today or tomorrow?" Your teacher stopped you on your way out.

"Like lend him my notes?"

"Yep! I just forgot to ask but he just left so you might be able to catch up to him. Maybe ask if he's got the notes yet."

You waved your goodbyes and chased the new boy down, his uniquely blonde hair standing out from the hallway of heads. You picked up the pace to catch up with his swift steps when you caught him chatting with Sunghoon and Jaeyun. Your feet froze straight down in their place.

Were they new friends? Or perhaps they were old friends?

You weren't going to bother talking to Jay as you already knew what kind of funny business would come up if you did. You could only watch them swing and lean their arms against each other in a close and friendly way. The picture was becoming more and more clear to you as to what kind of association Jay had with Sunghoon and Jaeyun perhaps even Heeseung, Sunoo or Jungwon.

...

You throw yourself violently over your thick mattress after finishing a long study and homework session at your dorm. The session wasn't productive but the time you spent surrounded by your schoolwork made it feel that way. Your dorm was awfully quiet that afternoon as your dormmates had music rehearsals for their extracurriculars. Nana had told you to come by the music rooms around a quarter past five when their practice was over to go down to the dining hall and have dinner but you couldn't think of a way to kill your remaining hour alone.

Phones were forbidden in your school and you often felt uncontrollably alone and bored with your thoughts during your free time. You could only lay tangled in your bed with your half progressed work in the corner of your eye. You shift on one side to watch your wide-open binder until you got some burst of motivation to finish studying until an idea hits you.

After eyeing your handouts from your astronomy class, you decide to hit the library and do some reading to get a little advanced in the class. Sure you could study for your other class but the sudden idea was far more worth your time in your mind. You quickly twirl out of your room, clearing your desk while you're at it. Excitedly, you hop into your shoes and head straight for the library. You were put in a good mood as you skipped along the long journey to the bookhouse.

The library was moderately packed as you don't bother to recognize any faces there. You get deja vu as you trail the same path you did when Sunghoon and Kyungeun were around. Sliding between the thin space between the bookshelves once again, you search for the section related to the moon, feeling dizzy at the sight of books your school owned. You could've made your life easier by asking the librarian but you were confident you could find it on your own. You move up and down the aisles as you catch a glimpse of theoretical and astrology related books that sit next to a couple of history books.

Backing up, you awkwardly bend your knees forward to get a better look at the small selection of books under the genre. You peel a random book spine out from its tight spot as if it had never been taken out before. You dust off the book a bit, reading the wordless cover and open it to check if it was really related to any sort of astronomy as you find a much stranger subject being discussed.

"Finding everything alright?" The librarian comes by, pushing a kart from the other end of the shelves. "I-I'm looking for books related to the moon." You say, standing up and forgetting you still had the old book in hand.

"The scientific information is just on the other side of this shelf but the section you were just looking at has some interesting stuff that might be related." The librarian stuffed herself in between the shelves to get toward you.

"Yeah, I noticed... This book I just picked up was talking about vampires." You laugh a little as you hold it up.

"Ah, that book..." She paused, snatching the book out of your hands to examine it, "I read this before... It relates to astrology. I think there are some parts of the book that go into detail about the moon, you should give it a read."

"Is this book just theoretical research about vampires though?" You were unconvinced with the idea.

"Yeah, real or not, our school grounds and the neighbouring town are talked about in the book. Apparently many years ago this place used to be a hotspot for vampires." She looked you dead in the eyes.

"Do you think the information is true?" You questioned with deep curiosity upon her answer.

"Some information in there is haunting. I think vampires did exist." She said with some sort of distress beginning to seep into her face.

Shivers ran down your spine, if she was just trying to sell you the book, it was working damn well on you.

"I'll leave you be, no need to sign out the book, nobody ever takes it out so I trust you'll return it." And with that said, she left you cold with mystery as the book between your fingers stared at you with big round eyes.

You shake back to reality, checking your wrist just to find out your time has vanished. You shift your priorities to getting to the music department, throwing the book into your bag without much thought.

...

The sun was already going down around the afternoon as the days got shorter with autumn blossoming. You're standing between rooms full of beautiful voices and instruments, peering through every window attached to a door in an attempt to find your roommates. The issue was the widows didn't give much of a view as to who was in the rooms. But your ears were drawn to a gentle piano that played a bittersweet melody beneath the louder sounds of people singing in a harmonious glee. As you move in the forward direction of the hallway, the piano gets clearer to your ears. It became clear that the sound was coming out of a room with its door wide open. Your back attached it to the wall in fear of being seen as slide yourself until you meet the spine of the door where you could see into the shadowy room.

Your eyes lit up when they see a familiar platinum blondie behind the keys. The melody was enchanting and was played in such a personal way as the sounds escaped into the noisy environment where it hoped to go unheard. Jay had reached the final notes of his song as he turned his head in your direction. It was as if he knew of your present from the moment you started watching him from the doorway.

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eruden-writes · 3 years

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Lights, Camera, ORC-TION! (part 13)

(Catching Tumblr up on LCO, after being unable to post long text posts. Read up-to-date LCO on Wattpad!)

Summary: With medical debt looming over her head, Avicia Thorn can’t rely on her cam career to make ends meet. She applies for a slightly-better-than-minimum-wage data entry position at a motion picture production company.On her first day, she stumbles onto the illustrious Kahdreg Vidaroc looming over the HR Recruiter, making demands. By the time she stumbles out of the office, she is Vidaroc’s new personal assistant. Whether she likes it or not.Her pay gets even better when she becomes Vidaroc’s “girlfriend,” a ploy meant to stave off unwanted attentions from an highly influential siren investor. Farce doesn’t keep feelings at bay as they play pretend.

---

"Excuse you!" Avicia jerked around, facing Kahdreg in a moment of confusion that was edging toward incredulous irritation. "What are you going on about?"

When Avicia spun around, Kahdreg straightened up a little, just enough to still be in her personal bubble but not close enough to kiss. This close though, her natural scent tickled their nose and they fought the urge to lean closer again, to be buried in her scent. Kahdreg smirked, hiding the embarrassing thoughts behind a wall of smug. "Maybe you're testing to see if you truly have what it takes to tempt me."

Avicia snorted at that. "You already told me I tempt you."

"Yeah," conceded Kahdreg, but an answer - the realization - quickly lined up on their lips, "But you didn't ask what I thought of this outfit. After pestering me to answer the other six."

"So?" Very obviously, Avicia rolled her eyes. Her head dipped to the side as if the force of her eye roll put her balance off-kilter.

"So, I think my confession of temptation was what you were looking for." Kahdreg bent their arms, lowering themselves a little closer to her. Their grin faltered for a breath, another epiphany striking into their head. A sudden delighted and curious smile curled to their lips. "Wait, are you jealous of Kallinaera?"

"Excuse you," Avicia repeated, drawing back so quickly she bumped into the mirror. The chill of the glass cut through the warmth of her overheated body. She leered up at Kahdreg, trying not to focus on the dichotomy of cold and heat she was stuck between. "Why would I be jealous of her? I'm the one 'dating' you."

"I don't know," admitted Kahdreg, giving a one-shouldered shrug. Their grin softened a bit, edging away from friendly taunting and into something more gentle. "She seemed to catalyze something in you, I guess."

"I'm not-" Avicia stopped suddenly, clamping her lips tight. Her gaze darted away from Kahdreg's face, as a slew of thoughts suddenly slammed into her. She wasn't jealous, but she wasn't perfectly settled, either. There was an itch beneath her skin. An annoyance. Disentangling the sensation made her flush. She could feel Kahdreg's intrigued gaze on her, intense but patient.

"To be convincing, I'm acting like I would in a genuine relationship." As she spoke, her words came out stilted, as if she was tentatively grasping them. She couldn't bring her gaze to Kahdreg. Her heart was already thrumming at a quick pace in her chest. If she spotted any more softness in Kahdreg's eyes, if her attention lingered on their lips, if her body ached any harder to lean closer to them, her heart may threaten to burst. "And, in this case, I... think I'd be frustrated you wouldn't put your foot down with her. Even knowing your reasons."

"Oh..." Shame shot through Kahdreg, leaving a sizzling cold in its wake. Uncertainty made their arms stiffen, as if prepared to pull further away, to stand up straight and give her space. It wasn't the first time someone mentioned this problem. Hearing the words come from Avicia's mouth made a lump form in their center.

"But, I was given a chance to cover that up with a shopping trip at her expense, so..." Avicia laughed a little too loud as she waved a flippant hand, trying to dispel the sudden awkwardness nipping in the air. It still crawled along the back of her shoulders, making her feel a fool. This relationship wasn't real, she shouldn't be annoyed.

As amicably as they acted toward one another, the two weren't even friends. They were co-workers. Well, not even that. She was their subordinate.

A slight furrow to her brow made it clear she was still in thought, though she smiled up at Kahdreg. Perhaps that was why, when the orc reached a hand to her cheek, she jumped. Her eyes widened, instantly focused on their face, before glancing to where they touched her.

"You are very enticing, Avicia," Kahdreg chuckled, running their thumb along her lower lip. Avicia's lips parted, attention jumping to their face, ready to issue a retort. The words died on her tongue under their steady gaze. Heat flared inside the orc as a pink tinge darkened on her face and her breath caught as it ghosted over Kahdreg's palm. Every little action seduced Kahdreg, making them long for the freedom to respond. "But you made it clear where the boundaries are in this. If you want something, you'll have to initiate."

A swarm of thoughts and sensations swirled through Avicia. The body heat coming off the orc, teasing into her own. The way their hand, so large and warm, cradled her cheek. How the pad of their thumb left her lips prickling. Memories flashed through her head, of the last day, the last week, her whole time on set. How quickly and how much her understanding of them had changed.

Overwhelmed with the chaos of thoughts and sensations, she remained still. Simply staring up at Kahdreg.

It wasn't until their hand shifted, about to pull away, that Avicia moved. Her own hand came up to the back of Kahdreg's, fingers lacing into the valleys of their digits. The movement made the orc's eyes widen, but they didn't utter a word, too curious to see what she'd do.

The anarchy and weight of introspection made part of Avicia's restraint buckled. Turning her face toward Kahdreg's hand, she brushed her lips against the flesh of their palm. They inhaled sharply. The arm still raised, with hand still braced on the wall, flexed, as if tempted to move, to touch, to retreat.

The small reactions goaded her to do more. Her lips parted against their hand, humid breaths against their flesh, as she trailed up their thumb. Avicia guided Kahdreg's hand a little further in front of her, her eyes watching their face carefully. Their shoulders rose and fell, in even and slow breaths. They stood still, watching her intensely, as if afraid the wrong twitch would break whatever was happening.

Pointedly watching for their reaction, her own gaze on them was no less fierce. Maybe even a little hungry.

Avicia slowly took Kahdreg's thumb between her lips, tasting their fingerprint on their tongue as she drew it into her mouth. A strangled sound came from the orc, fingers involuntarily twitching against her cheek as she took more and more of their digit in their mouth. Heat and pressure throbbed straight to Kahdreg's core, their member pulsing excitedly. The heat, the wetness, the suction of her mouth only taunted their imagination, bringing a storm of hormones saturating their thoughts.

The rest of the world, what little of it they had been paying attention to, completely disappeared in their consciousness. Complete focus on one another, in this small room.

Even once she completely enveloped their thumb, Avicia didn't stop. Past the knuckle and partway down the fleshy part of their palm. Her lips pressed firm, suckling on him as she writhed her tongue against the digit. The sensation jolted down Kahdreg's arm, forcing them to choke down a light moan. They jerked forward, barely managing to keep their mouth from making contact with the gentle slope of her shoulder.

The warm puffs of Kahdreg's panting breath teased against Avicia's skin, making her lips twitch with a smug smile. Their fingertips pressed firmly into her cheek, wanting more. It wasn't enough to hurt, but definitely a noticeable pressure. Which excited Avicia, just a little.

When her lips began their slow retreat, gaze burning into Kahdreg's face, the orc couldn't do anything but watch her from the corner of their eye. Their core churned with lewd heat and carnal instincts, clashing against the Kahdreg's resolve.

Finally, finally, the suction of her mouth pulled free of them. But she kept their thumb on her lower lip. Her attention flickered along the length of their body, lingering a little longer at the bulge between their legs before slowly returning to their face. As Avicia spoke, the ridges of Kahdreg's thumbprint grazed against her sensitive skin. "I'll keep that whole initiating thing in mind."

The orc only faintly nodded, swallowing noticeably. Their face burned from the heat inside and out, and their chest stretched the bodysuit with every deep inhale. Part of them realized Avicia had been showing off. 'Oh, look at how much of you I can take! Too bad it's just your thumb, huh?' And, maybe, warning them just how bad of a temptation she could be.

"I'm going to change back into my clothes." Restraint meandered back into her thoughts and Avicia didn't waste time pulling away. Kahdreg's reactions remained burned in her synapses. Already, she could feel the itch of wanting more of it. Which wasn't going to happen, she reminded herself. Pushing passed Kahdreg, she returned to her side of the room where her clothes still sat in a pile. "Turn around and don't peek."

Unable to start up their verbal faculties, Kahdreg just nodded and gave an affirmative grunt before turning their back on Avicia.

Even as the two retreated to far sides of the dressing room, heat lingered behind them like a phantasm. Both remained keenly aware of the other as they undressed and re-dressed, their thoughts replayed every little moment that had just come to pass.

The rest of their time together passed in agonizing quiet, from checking out to arriving at her door. Awkwardness ushered them quickly through a parting of ways, with scuffing feet and gazes that wandered everywhere except each other. It wasn't until Avicia found herself inside her apartment, back pressed to the door and hearing Kahdreg's departing footfalls, did the intensity of everything slam into her. Covering her face, feeling the lingering heat in her cheeks, she groaned.

They weren't even a full day into this scheme...

---

"Avicia?"

She jumped at the sound of Elyon's voice, wide eyes turning to face the elven script supervisor who had just brought her back to the present. Avicia had retreated to one of the darker corners of the stage lot for a fifteen minute break while the crew prepared for a set change. It made drawing Kahdreg's attention less likely.

"Yes?" She smiled sweetly at the elven woman. In the dusty, darker parts of the stage lot - where cables or additional equipment was shoved until it could be used - Elyon seemed displaced. Everything about the script supervisor was precise and clean. From the way her deep rose-brown skin seemed to shimmer to the way her silver-white hair never seemed to be a strand out of place.

"Is everything okay? You seem a bit..." Elyon waved their thin hand in the air, as if looking for an appropriate word. "Distracted."

"I'm fine!" Avicia nearly bit her tongue, realizing the words came off more as a squawk than anything calm. She shot Elyon an awkward smile and shrugged. "Just a lot on my mind."

"Is that so?" One of Elyon's eyebrows arched high, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Like Kahdreg?"

"Why would you ask that?" Avicia shot back, unnerved by Elyon's perceptive look and ghost of a smile. The more she spoke, however, the more a betraying warmth seared her cheeks. "I mean, he is. He's my boss, after all!"

Smooth. Totally not obvious, at all. She wanted to groan at herself.

"I meant he's been in curiously deep thought, as well." The elven woman raised her hand to her mouth, knuckles pressed to her lips, hiding her growing grin before a litany of giggles finally trickled forth. "I'm sorry. Kahdreg already explained the situation."

Avicia's eyebrows ticked upward, before she slightly narrowed her gaze. "He did?"

"Yes," smiled the elven woman, shooting Avicia an amused look full of intent. "They did."

Tension in Avicia's shoulders relaxed a little, but wariness still lingered. She wasn't sure if Kahdreg had explained the situation, in its entirety, to the elven woman or only gave her a light explanation. Just as Avicia was about to open her mouth to ask what Elyon needed, another voice shot through the area.

"Elyon! Go double-check the set. Wardrobe should be done in about fifteen so-" Kahdreg looked up from his clipboard, pausing in the action of giving orders. He halted, his eyes flickered from script supervisor to personal assistant.

Avicia's shoulders hunched, heat licking at her face as she felt amusement radiate from Elyon. The elve's eyes danced from Kahdreg to Avicia and back again. It wasn't until the script supervisor nearly skipped to the director that Avicia realized something. Had Elyon specifically sought her out just to lead Kahdreg to this dark little corner?

"I'll take that," Elyon gently coaxed the clipboard from Kahdreg's hands.

For a moment, the director in Kahdreg reared up. His attention snapped to Elyon, returning to his demanding tone. "Remember to check the props. I don't want an incident like last time. And make sure the-"

"I know, I know," sighed Elyon with a roll of her eyes. "I'll take care of it, like I always do."

She turned to set off back to set, flipping through the information on the papers. Though, a grin still teased at her lips as she left the two alone.

Kahdreg watched Elyon retreat back into the din of workplace chaos. Once she was fully gone, silence returned to the little forgotten corner. Uncertainty and silence hung heavier in the air with every passing moment.

The tension stifled Avicia. In an attempt to escape, she pointed the way Elyon went, smiling awkwardly up at Kahdreg as she tried to sidle by him. "I should really be-"

"Wait," he said, holding up a hand. "We should talk."

Avicia gave a forced laugh. Trying to ignore the flush of her face, she waved her hand lightly to dismiss any worries. "What's there to talk about?"

Before she could breeze past, Kahdreg caught her by the elbow, his grasp gentle and delicate. The air in her lungs locked in place, her attention shot to his face. The heat and weight of his hand sent prickling sensations through her and roused the memories of the weekend. She swallowed, trying to ignore the images dancing just beneath her thoughts.

"Avicia." Her heart hitched as he used her first name. Not a common occurrence while at work, but things had changed. The quiet way he said it didn't help her pounding heart. He further surprised her by leaning toward her, pressing his forehead to hers. "Please."

#exo #exophilia #fake dating trope #monster lover #orc #kahdreg #avicia #human x orc #lights camera action #lights camera orction #lights camera orction part 13 #lights camera orction part thirteen #lco part 13 #lco

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nightbts · 4 years

Text

through the night | jjk | 04

pairing: jeon jungkook + stylist! reader

word count: 3.5k

genre: fluff, angst + idol! au, friends to lovers! au

parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

listen to this playlist while reading!

best of friends. that’s what you and jungkook were. as their stylist for several years now, you and jungkook got along like no other and over time developed a friendship that was special to the two of you. but what happens when an IU collaboration deal, a jealous childhood-best friend and secret feelings get intertwined with the simple life you thought you were living?

Hearing Yoongi’s soft laughter ring through the filming studio, you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh yourself, shaking your head in amusement.

The boys had been filming for their recent BTS Run episode. Once they all changed into pajamas, they were taking a thirty-minute nap on what appeared to be one of the comfiest bean bags you had ever seen before waking up to complete a mission.

But here you were, watching as the rest of the members got up one by one, Jungkook sat up from the floor as he long rolled off the bean bag during the 30 minutes he was asleep, his eyes still closed, hair ruffled up and lips forming a pout.

Sighing softly, a warm smile spread across your face. The sight was undeniably cute.

But there you stood, hidden behind all the cameramen and women and their equipment, doing everything in your power to stop yourself from going up to him and cuddling the shit out of him.

After several comments and nags from the rest of the members who were trying to complete the song challenge, Jungkook finally got up and participated with the rest.

Soon enough, the filming wrapped up with Jin, Jimin, and J-Hope losing and having to complete the penalty. As the rest of the production crew started to pack up their equipment, you decided to head back to the dressing room knowing the boys would be there any moment.

“Y/N!”

Turning around at the sound of your voice, you were suddenly met with Jungkook’s face nearly inches away from yours, a wide grin on his face as he waved furiously at you. Taken aback, your eyes widened in surprise as you stumbled back, startled by the sudden movement. However, as your foot accidentally tripped over a cord, the sudden motion caused you to lose your footing.

It was as if everything were happening in slow motion. As your eyes squeezed close, a soft yelp slipped past your lips as your hands flew outward instinctively, grabbing at thin air.

Anticipating the cold hard floor, you suddenly felt something grip your waist, pulling you back up so fast that you felt your nose brush his—Jungkook’s.

As your eyes shot open, you blinked furiously as your eyes landed on Jungkook’s doe-shaped eyes, wider than your own as they gazed intently at you, shock written in them as clear as day. However, all you could really focus on was how close he was: his arms that wrapped tightly around your waist as his warm breath fanned your face, his nose was still brushing yours sending tingles down your spine.

Finally snapping back into reality, you placed your hand on his chest as you pushed him away slightly. A burst of nervous laughter quickly bubbled up your throat, your heart racing a mile a minute as you squeaked, “T-Thanks!”

Blinking at you slowly, you noticed a slight flush to Jungkook’s cheeks, his face just as flustered as your own. The sight had your stomach somersaulting in your body; it was a look you had never seen on him. However, within seconds it disappeared and was replaced with a look you were all too familiar with. It was almost like the Jungkook you just saw didn’t even exist.

Crinkling his brows together, he shot you a playful look before carelessly waving his hand in the air, “You’re always so clumsy, you know that?”

Scoffing, you retorted, “How did you expect me to react when you popped out of nowhere?!”

“Valid.”

Walking into the dressing room together, you noticed most of the boys were already back, some lounging on the couch and others starting to get ready for their next scheduled activity of the day. It almost made you a little sad, seeing just how much they had going on almost all the time. But you knew, that no matter how hard, how long the hours, they were happy and grateful for it all.

Making your way towards your designated station for the day, you started taking out all the products you needed. Setting them out in orderly fashion on the table, you turned towards Jungkook, who had already started to strip out of his clothes, his bare back facing your direction. Quickly turning the other direction, so he wouldn’t notice the bright flush of your cheeks, you quickly asked, “Your meeting with IU today aren’t you?”

Turning around slightly, he gave you a quick nod before swiftly putting a sweatshirt over his head, “Yeah, over Skype? In an hour I think?”

Motioning over to your chair, you said, “Let me fix your hair up before you go. I know you only napped for thirty minutes but you look like you were asleep for days.”

Frowning, the boy looked at himself in the mirror before running his fingers through his hair, attempting to fix the mess that stood up in several different directions, before dropping his hands down in resignation.

Smirking, you turned back towards your workstation, grabbing your hair products out of your bag when you heard someone behind you go, “Well, look who’s here. I haven’t seen you all day.”

Looking to your side, your eyes narrowed at the figure beside you before muttering to yourself, “You know how it’s been lately...”

Giving you a pointed look, Jiho added, “I can tell. Your eye bags look as boujee as Gucci.”

Glaring at him, you turned you attention towards the mirror in front of you. You slowly frowned you stared at your reflection, suddenly self-conscious as you examined the dark circles beneath your eyes.

He was right. You didn’t look too good.

Sighing softly, your eyes fluttered close as you felt the wave of tiredness wash over you.

The last couple of weeks were rough, and that was putting it lightly.

Being on tour meant a lot of work, and was something you had completely underestimated. Life as a stylist was hectic and busy enough when you were back home, but traveling around the world and handling different timezones while working as a stylist, trying to complete your goddamn online degree and studying for all the finals that were piling up in the next couple weeks? It was absolutely exhausting.

But honestly? You felt like you couldn’t complain. Not when you were working with some of the most hard-working people you knew. Not when you knew they were probably getting much less sleep than you were. And every time you did feel like you were struggling, you felt like shit for even thinking it.

“Y/N...” Jiho started with a sigh.

He knew exactly what you were going through, even if you never put them into words for him. It was like a constant cycle that he had witnessed you go through, over and over again. In high school, you juggled two part-time jobs, volunteered at an orphanage, while still acing all your classes and exams by studying your ass off for them. Then came college and you worked weekends at the local cafe, weekdays at the library while Jiho would find you asleep in various places across campus. And now? Nothing had changed. You were still trying to do it all because that’s how you had always been.

Looking up at Jiho, you waited for the routine words you’d always hear from him, his lectures that scolded you for being up so late, for working too hard but instead, he said...

“You’re amazing, you know that?”

Blinking at him, you cocked your head sideways before shooting him an amused look, “Did I just hear that right? Did the Kang Jiho just call me amazing?!”

Rolling his eyes, he walked closer towards you before he engulfed you into his embrace, his arms wrapping tightly against your body as he pulled you into a reassuring hug. Whispering into the side of your head, he sighed, “You never take anything seriously, do you?”

Patting him on his back, you chuckled, “Alright, you goon. I get it. I’m incredibly grateful you think I'm amazing, but I still have work to do—”

Hearing the sudden noise of someone clearing their throat, you pulled away from Jiho, your eyes falling on Jungkook who was sitting in the chair in front of you. As his eyes flickered between the both of you, his lips pursed into a thin line before his gaze met your eyes through the mirror, a certain blankness to them.

“Hey Jungkook, how ya been?” Jiho asked pulling Jungkook’s attention back to him.

“Same old. Tired, but gotta keep going right?” Jungkook replied with a slight shrug, “How about you, hyung?”

“I could say the same. I’m sure Y/N could too, right Y/N?”

Shooting Jiho a quick glare, you scowled at him before shaking your head in denial, “Nah, I’m doing alright, don’t worry—”

“What does that mean? Are you alright?” Jungkook asked with a frown, when you noticed Jungkook’s gaze back on you again, this time growing with worry.

Your gaze softened at the boy in front of you, as you gave him a small nod. Resting your hands on Jungkook’s shoulder, you bent down so that you hovered close to his face, meeting his gaze through the mirror. Giving his shoulders a gentle squeeze, you assured, “I’m alright, don’t worry about me...besides, you have a lot more important things to worry about.”

After that, you expected him to simply nod and drop the conversation but instead, you saw his brows furrow together, his frown only deepening. He sat there like that, for a couple of seconds, before a flash of hesitation crossed his eyes.

“Jungkook—?”

“Y/N...How could I not worry about you?”

Lips parting, you stood back up as your grip on his shoulder faltered. The both of you stared at each other through the mirror, your gazes unwavering for what felt like too long. Yet, your mind was racing, as it took in every sound, of every letter of the words that came out of Jungkook’s mouth.

How could I not worry about you?

You should’ve said something immediately. You should’ve laughed it off, retorted with a sarcastic comment and moved on from it. But, for some reason, you couldn’t. After all, it wasn’t like he said something ridiculous like confessing his love for you? He just said he worried about you. That doesn’t mean anything. You guys were friends anyway, and friends obviously cared for each other, right?

Before you could dwell on your dangerous thoughts any longer, the door to the room swung open as you saw Manager Sejin poke his head through it. Scanning the room, his eyes quickly fell upon you, Jungkook, and Jiho before he tapped his watch, “Jungkook! You gotta hurry, your meeting is in a couple minutes!” Looking back at you, he gave you a quick nod before leaving the room as fast as he came.

“A c-couple of minutes!” you squeaked, before quickly grabbing all the tools you needed in your hands and immediately getting to work.

“Alright, I’ll see you later.” you heard Jiho say, to which you simply nodded your head in response.

“You said you weren’t going to meet her until an hour from now,” you muttered, as you started brushing through Jungkook’s hair.

Chuckling slightly, Jungkook flashed you a sheepish grin, “That’s what I thought too.” to which you simply shook your head in defeat, your own lips tilting upwards into a smile.

And like that, the tension was gone.

You sat there on the couch, legs crisscrossed as you scrolled through Twitter on your phone. The more you scrolled, the more tweets you read of fans raving about the news of IU and Jungkook releasing a track together. Looking at the time, you realized it had been more than an hour since Jungkook had left to go have his Skype session with IU.

Feeling the couch sink beside you, Jimin plopped down next to you as he peered over your shoulder, “Whatcha looking at?”

“Twitter.”

“OMG our jungkookie singing with his all-time favorite female idol! UGh imagine if they fell for each other, it would be like a whole ass tumblr fanfiction come true!!!!” you heard Jimin read in a high-pitched voice, mimicking the fan who had posted that tweet.

Laughing across the room, Hoseok looked up from his phone before adding, his eyebrows wiggling, “Honestly, imagine that.”

Walking up to you, Taehyung peered over the other side of your shoulder as he read through the tweets you had just been reading yourself, “Wow, people are really going crazy for this collaboration, aren’t they?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you admitted, “I mean, all of ARMY knows how much Jungkook admires IU as an artist—”

“And as a person,” Jimin added, grinning cheekily.

Raising a brow at that, you looked at Jimin questioningly before he continued, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Haven’t you heard? Apparently, the two of them have been texting a lot!”

This you knew, to some extent.

After all, every time Jungkook’s phone buzzed and you saw him grab his phone with a sense of urgency, you either watched his eyes light up with the excitement or seeing his expression fall in disappointment. At this point, you had a pretty good idea of who caused the former reaction out of him.

“So? Don’t they have to for the collab?”

“I mean, not as much as they currently are. We’ve all done our fair share of collabs with other artists, but most of the time we spoke over Skype with Manager Sejin there or texted important updates here and there. But from what Jungook showed me the other night, they’ve been having just normal conversations.” Jimin said, his voice heightening in excitement, “Imagine if our Jungkook really does sway IU’s heart? After all, he’s a charmer when it comes to noonas.”

Hearing that you felt yourself stiffen as Jimin’s words washed over you, one after the other. And there it was. The bad feeling that would reappear in the pit of your stomach, leaving you feeling uncomfortable whenever IU and Jungkook were mentioned in the same sentence.

Instead, you forced a bright look on your face before shoving Jimin playfully, “C’mon, you know that isn’t going to happen. They’re both too professional for that.”

“That is true, but you never know, do you?” you heard Taehyung say. Walking over to stand in front of you, he spread his hands in the air in a magical motion, “After all, love is love.”

At that, Taehyung and Jimin erupted into fits of laugher, while you just sat there awkwardly, feeling uncomfortable at the thought of there being anything between Jungkook and IU.

Yet, as soon as the thought appeared, you pushed it away, scolding yourself for even having it. I mean, it didn’t matter what you thought anyway. It was his life and you would support him regardless.

However, the sour look that you tried to mask on your face didn’t go unnoticed by someone else in the room.

Jiho would’ve found it amusing if it wasn’t for the sinking feeling he felt in his own stomach. Clearing his workstation of his things, he chuckled to himself at the mere thought of the complicated mess you and Jungkook were.

After all, it didn’t take a genius to realize there was something there between the two of you, even if you or Jungkook hadn’t realized it for yourselves. Even though he had known you for much longer than Jungkook had, Jiho knew the way you treated him was different. He could see it in everything, from the way your eyes brightened when you would talk to him or how you always leaned in towards him, whenever he stood by your side. And the biggest giveaway if anything, was how apparent your jealousy was, no matter how hard you’d try to hide it from everyone else.

The thing was...you weren’t the only one.

Ever since the plane ride from Seoul, Jungkook’s face was permanently imprinted in Jiho’s memory. He still remembered the way he caught Jungkook staring back at you and him, jealousy swimming in his eyes as clear as day. Even though Jiho had his doubts, he couldn’t help but be surprised.

Personally, Jiho didn’t know if Jungkook deserved you, worldwide pop-star or not.

All he knew was that you deserved the world and more. He had seen you broken-hearted over too many undeserving people in your life, and he wasn’t willing to see it again. He just hoped Jungkook wouldn’t be an addition to that list.

"Look who’s back~” Hoseok sang, causing you to snap your head up from your phone. Getting up from the couch, Jimin beamed as he walked towards Jungkook. Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, he ruffled Jungkook’s hair with his other hand as he grinned, “So, how was it?”

Even though you pretended to go back to looking at your phone, you couldn’t help but glance over the top of it, eagerly waiting for Jungkook’s response.

But the moment you saw the way his cheeks flushed in response, his eyes averting Jimin’s curious gaze, you felt a slight twinge in your heart. Biting down on your lip, you quickly averted your attention back to your phone, finding it far less heartbreaking than the scene in front of you.

Untangling himself free from Jimin’s hold, you saw Jungkook approach you from the corner of your eye, causing you to groan inwardly.

Yes, please bring the conversation over here. I’d love that!

Flashing you a quick look, Jungkook sat down beside you before finally answering Jimin’s question, “It was like the usual. We discussed the recordings and potential areas for adlibs. It’s just hard since we aren’t able to actually meet up and record together.”

Cocking his head to the side, Jimin hummed in apprehension before you noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes return, “And? What else, huh?”

Rolling his eyes in response, Jungkook grabbed one of the decorative pillows from the couch and smacked Jimin’s butt with it, causing the boy to yelp in surprise and earning a couple laughs from the members in the room.

“Hyung, I don’t know what you expect me to say,” Jungkook said with a laugh.

“You know what he means,” Taehyung piped up, wriggling his eyebrows at Jungkook, “You guys didn’t talk about anything else besides just the song?”

Shrugging nonchalantly, he mumbled, “I mean...that was what we talked the most about but I guess we also talked about how our tour was going, and I mentioned how I got hurt a couple weeks ago—”

Grinning from ear-to-ear, Taehyung teased, “Hey, isn’t that something you would talk about with someone you like~?”

Clenching your fists that currently laid in your lap, you bit down on your lip trying to prevent yourself from saying something you might come to regret.

“You two, stop acting so unprofessional.” you heard Namjoon say from the stylist’s chair. Spinning around to face the rest of you, he softly glared at the two 95-liners, before adding, “Don’t make unnecessary comments.”

“Exactly,” you muttered bitterly under your breath.

Ears perking up, Jimin instantly looked in your direction with a raised brow, “What was that Y/N?”

Taken aback, your head snapped up in surprise. At this point everyone in the room was looking at you, your cheeks growing hotter as the seconds passed by.

They had all heard you.

“W-what?” you stammered, eyes wavering slightly as you found your gaze suddenly falling on Jiho. You saw his lips slowly tug into a frown but before you could notice anything else, Jimin’s voice pulled your gaze back to him.

“You said 'exactly' with your face all serious-lookin’” Jimin replied, morphing his face into what you assumed was his imitation of how you looked.

However, how you looked fit into exactly one word: Jealous.

Eyes rounding, you felt you throat go dry, your lips unable for form any words as you simply stared at Jimin, a blank expression clouding your face.

"Y/N?"

"R-Right." you quickly faltered, trying to rack your brain for the right thing to say but at the moment you couldn't, no matter how hard you tried.

“I-I just..” you hesitated, as you sighed softly, "I-I'm just agreeing with Namjoon is all. I mean, quite frankly it's a little childish to think IU-ssi would have a crush on Jungkook. This is a professional collaboration, after all." you finished, the words flying past your lips one after the other.

"Childish?" you heard Jungkook whisper softly.

Tearing your gaze away from Jimin, your eyes widened. Jungkook who had been gazing intently at the floor beneath him, raised his head up slowly, his strong gaze meeting your confused eyes, before he gave you a tight-lipped smile, his jaw clenched, "Of course."

Standing up abruptly from the couch, he turned around so that his back faced you, "Hear that hyungs? It's childish, so stop making comments like that, alright?"

With that, Jungkook shrugged his jacket back on and grabbed his phone from the side table, before walking out the door, not sparing you another glance.

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ticktickblog · 4 years

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Stop Being the Last-Minute Person

Everything You Need to Know about Procrastination

Understanding procrastination

Usually, we think of procrastination as a bad habit, but this might not be the case. Research by Burka and Yuen, authors of Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now, have found that procrastination is not a bad habit, but a psychological syndrome caused by one’s fear. In other words, procrastination is not purely a problem of time management. Instead, it concerns people's inner fears, expectations, doubts and pressures.

There might be some people, like myself before, who’d always leave their tasks to the very last minute before the deadlines and look forward to a suddenly-bursted extraordinary performance, or a very best luck ever. Some even say the closer the DDLs are, the more productive they are.

So, is the deadline really a force to drive us forward in a positive way?

My answer is negative, although from the surface it may seem harmless to some people, and can to some extent be converted to motivator. However, deep inside, procrastination brings more harms than good for most of us.

Consequence of procrastination

1. On top of all the damages caused by procrastination: mental sufferings. Even though relaxing first brings instant joy, it’ll soon be replaced by overwhelmingly negative feelings: e.g. anxiety thinking, nagging pain, a guilt of not starting earlier, and etc. Not hard to imagine how painful it is to be trapped into this situation for a long period of time.

2. From the view regarding one’s physical health, there’s also detrimental consequence. Chasing DDLs usually means overworking at a late point. For example, burning the night oil in a row. If this continues as a habit, it will threaten one’s physical health as well.

3. There might be consequences to other people as well, because people who procrastinate a lot may be bad at time management. For example, being late for a date because they’ve not started dressing up earlier, or being unable to submit a task on time because they’ve wasted a lot of time thinking. These could then make them easy to not be trusted by others, and people around them may also sometimes feel disappointed.

Then, what at root drives us to procrastinate? What makes people consciously or unconsciously choose to procrastinate?

Reasons for procrastination

1. Excessive perfectionism

People who are perfectionists normally have very high standards to themselves and to the work they do. Therefore, they easily fall into the fear of not being able to reach these standards, or making mistakes on the way which will lead to undesirable results. By not getting started, the mistakes/failures will not happen, which means at this procrastinating point at least, they don’t have to worry too much.

Also, many perfectionists may waste too much time thinking how to do instead of actually doing. They choose to wait till a perfect plan is ready. However, in fact there is neither a flawless plan nor a perfect outcome. Plus, it’s extremely hard for excessive perfectionists to be fully satisfied with what they’ve achieved no matter how good it is.

2. The rewards are too far away.

Studies have shown that the farther the due date is, the less binding force it may execute on us, and the easier it is for us to feel unmotivated to start. Compared to gaining rewards from a not-so-recent future, instant gratification is obviously much easier.

This might be the very reason why many people choose to enjoy first and do later. For example, if the deadline for an assignment is 2 weeks from now, then spending 2 days watching a new series on Netflix doesn’t seem like a big deal.

3. Fear of difficulty

Reason for this fear is we know the goal is too big and require hard work. Sometimes when we are given a big task, e.g. dissertation, we might be very likely to feel overwhelmed, not knowing where to start or how. The motivation then downgrades to 0. Similarly, when a monthly personal KPI has been given, even just thinking of it brings a lot of headache already, let alone start doing.

4. Lack of awareness and skills of time management

Sad but true, I know:(

For these ones, getting so used to an unstructured work/study style makes it even harder not to procrastinate. Never thinking of organizing or not knowing how, is a big hindrance to their productivity. But, it’s totally fine if you just enjoy the flow and do not worry about getting things done. However, for these who crave progression and success, then tackling procrastination and learning how to manage your time and organize things well is extremely important. Let TickTick help with that 🙌

5. Dislike of taking orders

As some of you might feel relatable, deadlines and dues are set usually by other people, either our professors or team leaders, to the tasks assigned. For those who have strong self-awareness and do not want to be tasked by others, they consciously or subconsciously resort to procrastination as a way to resist the order. Meanwhile, they try to declare some autonomy and freedom by refusing to do things at this moment and ignoring them till later.

Ways to fight against procrastination

The most painful part of procrastination is not working on the task, it is starting the work. Therefore, to beat procrastination, is actually to find out ways to get us started.

Where to start

1. Set a realistic goal and fairly evaluate your ability

Make sure your goal is inspiring but also attainable, based on the evaluation of your ability now and its potential to grow, plus the time and effort needed in achieving your goal.

For example, if I have three free weekends this month, then I probably establish a goal: finishing reading a book this month. Many procrastinators are too optimistic about their ability in the future and underestimate the time needed to complete the task. When deadlines approach, it’s just frightening and frustrating.

2. Divide the goal into more achievable ones

If the goal seems too big to reach, then cut it into smaller pieces to reduce the fear of a sudden commitment.

Going back to that book-reading example, to finish reading a book in a month, I may divide the task into reading ¼ every week, and then 10 pages each for working days and 20 pages each for unscheduled weekends. Compared to 1 book, 10 pages just sounds like a breeze.

3. Trim the unnecessary and only keep the priorities

According to Pareto Principle, 20% of the things in life can determine 80% of the results. Therefore, when facing multiple tasks, sort them out based on urgency, importance, necessity and other indicators. Next, take the lead in dealing with high-priority things. This method can effectively help us abandon those low-value and insignificant activities, and rationally allocate limited time and energy for the maximum return.

4. Start from a small task

Some may argue that starting from a hard task is better for time management. However, for a lagging person like myself before, starting is the most difficult part as I said. Therefore, an easy task can first “allure” me to start, and when finishing this, the rest of my day is then kept in a feeling-productive momentum.

Long-run strategies

1. Increase incentive mechanism

The best way to do that is to bond the completion of a certain task with an instant reward. For example, if I finish writing my blog draft today, I’d be rewarded with 30 mins to play with my dog. If reading through all literature within scheduled time when writing a dissertation, I’ll treat myself with a big meal or an outing day. In this way, before each task starts, motivation will replace stress to activate your enthusiasm.

P.s. Please remember, what the reward for is always your hard work and progress, not the results.

2. Reduce the task aversion from a mental side:

Go deeper into the given task and find/develop some parts you feel passionate about from it. If you’ve found out the joy of doing things, then a task will not be a task anymore, but a daily trivial, something like teeth-brushing. Those who work out consistently no matter how busy he/she is, are actually regarding working-out as a daily activity. This sounds a little bit like self-brainwashing, but believe me, it brings positive results in the long run.

Other possible solutions

1. Make use of visual tools

Write the daily tasks down for enhanced execution force: Some research has found out that writing down your to-do tasks makes it easier for you to really complete it.

Check it done for enhanced encouragement: When I see the visual hints, e.g. a visual tick, like the logo of TickTick, that tells me I’ve achieved something, it is like an energy transferred into my body. Not only visually, it’s a mental encouragement I’ve got from the process.

2. Create a co-supervising system

By inviting a friend/colleague to co-supervise each other, it may help you two to both keep on the right track. Also, in this co-supervision scheme, competitive people will hate to lose. By losing here actually means your friend finished her task while you didn’t. A positive competition vibe is formed here to probably give you a little gentle push.

Final words

Like what Mark Twain said,“The secret of getting ahead is getting started”. Although it’s not easy to completely beat procrastination, it’s still good to be less-procrastinated. Now is always better than later, stop being the last-minute person and get started now!

#getting things done #productivity #procrastination #workefficiency

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 5 years

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/new-moon-july-31-2019-be-patient/

New Moon July 31, 2019 – Be Patient

By Astrology King

The New Moon on Wednesday, July 31, 2019, at 8 degrees Leo highlights the challenging planetary aspect of Venus square Uranus. This brings stress, anxiety and the potential for unexpected changes to your love life and finances.

The July 2019 new moon also joins two stars called the Ascelli, in Constellation Cancer the Crab. Their aggressive and impatience influence stresses the importance of being patient and cooperative during this challenging moon phase.

New Moon Meaning

A new moon represents the end of one cycle and the beginning of another new 28-day cycle. Sun conjunct Moon gives an invigorating burst of energy and initiative. So this is an excellent time for making a fresh start, turning over a new leaf, or starting a new project. You can also question old habits, behaviors, and beliefs as you search for new and inventive ways to make progress.

New Moon July 2019 Astrology

The July 31 new moon at 08°36′ Leo Sign is close to Venus as shown in the chart below. On its own, this is a very positive influence, especially for love and money. But the red square aspect to Uranus makes this a challenging influence. So the major influence on the new moon is Venus square Uranus.

New Moon July 2019 [SolarFire]

New Moon Aspects

New Moon conjunct Venus shines the light on your love life, finances, and creativity. This is a good new moon for leisure activities, socializing, partying and dating. You will feel more emotional, caring and loving, but also more sensitive and easily upset.

An eye for fashion and beauty makes this a good time for shopping, decorating, and makeovers. However, Venus can give a tendency toward vanity, laziness, and overindulgence. Take care if using your credit card because of a tendency to spend based on emotional reactions rather than common sense.

New Moon square Uranus brings unexpected change, uncertainty, anxiety, and tension. This can lead to unpredictable behavior, rebelliousness, abruptness, rapid changes in direction and even accidents.

The best way to handle this impulsive energy is to be proactive about positive change with open-mindedness and flexibility. A change could lead to a brave new path which opens your life to many more possibilities and opportunities.

Venus square Uranus can bring a need for freedom and excitement in your love life. This is more likely if you have been feeling smothered, confined or bored. A healthy relationship will face no major drama, especially with an open-minded partner. Experimentation in the bedroom might satisfy your need for increased stimulation.

The more demanding or conservative you partner, the more likely you are to lose your patience or lash out in anger. Such uncertainty and instability in your love could lead to sudden separations, flirting or short-lived affairs.

Singles may be attracted to exciting or eccentric people. Those who seem risky, dangerous or from a different cultural or ethnic background. A new romance is possible but any commitment would be unlikely in the short term.

Finally, Care needs to be taken when spending or investing money. You are more likely to impulse buy and spend too much on unnecessary items. An urge to make money quickly will most likely to result in sudden loss.

New Moon July 2019 Astrology [Stellarium]

New Moon Stars

The star map above shows the July 31 New Moon in Constellation Cancer, between the fixed stars Asellus Borealis and Asellus Australis, the Northern and Southern Donkeys.

The list below shows the new moon closest to Australis, but it has already passed over Borealis which adds to its influence. Robson does give some separate influence but most astrologers treat these two stars as one, the Ascelli.

07 ♌ 48 – γ Cancri, Asellus Borealis

08 ♌ 36 – New Moon July 2019

08 ♌ 59 – δ Cancri, Asellus Australis

According to Robson, together, the Ascelli give care and responsibility, with a charitable and fostering nature, but the danger of violent death, serious accidents, and burns. [1]

Ebertin said they cause aggression, lack of caution, brutality, and violence. But that an extraordinary output of achievement is possible if the aggression can be sublimated. [2]

Morse says they give all the moodiness of Cancer Constellation, making people very self-willed, uncooperative, stubborn and impatient. With the Ascelli, cooperation with others is the secret of success in life. [3]

New Moon conjunct the Aselli

With the Sun, the Ascelli cause blows, stabs, serious accidents, shooting, shipwreck, beheading, hanging, murderer or murdered, violent fevers, the danger of fire, disgrace and imprisonment. With the Moon: Inflammatory-fever, pains in the head, blindness. [1]

The Chinese gave this group of stars the name “the spirit of the ancestors” and believed they gave peculiar experiences with the realms of the dead. The same can be said for spiritual seances. [2]

The Ascelli with the Sun gives an intuitive sense which makes one ‘see the possibilities’ where others miss them. With the Moon, the Ascelli take the intuition deeper and will often reveal the poet, painter, musician unusually gifted, composer, psychic ‘medium’ or astrologer. There is also the patience necessary for all really reliable psychism. [3]

New Moon July 2019 Summary

The July 31 new moon conjunct Venus brings your love life and finances into focus for the next four weeks. The new moon square Uranus brings uncertainty, tension and the potential for unexpected changes.

Although the new moon is n the Sign of Leo it is in the Constellation of Cancer. In particular, the two Ascelli of the Crabs moodiness but also much needed care and responsibility.

The combination of the aspects and stars give a tendency toward impulsive reactions, rebellion, and aggression. Patience and cooperation are necessary to avoid relationship instability and financial stress. If you start to feel stressed and anxious, slow down, meditate and listen carefully to your intuition.

The effects of the July 31 new moon lasts four weeks up to the August 30 new moon. The best time for making a fresh start and for beginning new projects is during the first two weeks of this new moon cycle. This waxing phase of the Moon lasts from July 31 to the August 15 Full Moon.

If the new moon directly affects your Sign you can read about it in your free Monthly Horoscope. Finally, for more details about how it affects your natal chart see Sun Transits.

Previous Moon Phase: Lunar Eclipse July 16, 2019

Next Moon Phase: Full Moon August 15, 2019

2019 Moon Phases Calendar

New Moon July 2019 Times and Dates

Los Angeles, July 31 at 8:11 pm

New York, July 31 at 11:11 pm

London, August 1 at 4:11 am

Delhi, August 1 at 8:41 am

Sydney, August 1 at 1:11 pm

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montrosemavens · 5 years

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The Prog Rock Titans Are Back- Distance Over Time Review

By: Luke Kirchner

Dream Theater’s Distance Over Time is a fantastic album that was a much-needed release, following the last few albums. Distance Over Time is filled with heavy riffs, soaring melodies, and a very solid foundation, to make for an epic rally back to original form. Singer James LaBrie, bassist John Myung, keyboardist Jordan Rudess, drummer Mike Mangini, and guitarist John Petrucci deliver an excellent, energetic album that completes every task it set out to achieve.

From the 1993 album Images and Words to 2005’s Octavarium and even 2009’s Black Clouds and Silver Linings, Mike Portnoy was the drumming backbone for a powerful, technical, and focused progressive rock band; Dream Theater. With his departure in 2010, the direction of Dream Theater began to change. After a series of auditions to fill the empty seat, they settled on drummer Mike Mangini (ex-Steve Vai) and released A Dramatic Turn of Events in 2011. While this album was already written before Portnoy left, the drumming style and production difference was immediately noticeable, and not entirely loved by longtime fans.

In 2013, Dream Theater released a self-titled album, something bands usually do at the start of their career. This bold statement was made to show that the ‘new’ DT was born and Mike Mangini is now the permanent drummer. Once again, this album was met with mediocre to good reviews, with the most notable track, “Illumination theory”, clocked in at around 22 minutes. With a 2 year hiatus, they returned in 2016 to release The Astonishing, a two hour progressive rock-ballad concept album, written entirely by Petrucci and Rudess. This album was not met with positive reviews, with critics and fans claiming it dragged on and was not true to the typical Dream Theater sound.

Understanding this feedback, all the members secluded themselves in a barn in upstate New York to write, record, and produce their new album. Their main goals were full band inclusion, powerful energy, and a more concise outing. And they absolutely fulfilled their goal; and more. The album is full of heavy, powerful riffs and catchy choruses, an ode to many of the fan favorite albums.

The album's opening track “Untethered Angel” is a great ‘mood setter’, basically because it is a preview of the entire album. Its slow chugging verse riff creates tension that gets unleashed with the vocals in the chorus. Although it is a great album opener, I found myself not revisiting this particular track after the full album release, because it was released as a single beforehand. Next up is “Paralyzed”, the shortest song in the album, at just around 3 minutes. It starts out with a riff that sounds like something out of the 90’s grunge scene, breaking down into a slower, headbanging riff to then cut out into an emotional guitar solo. Although this song was great, it was my least favorite on the album, due to the fact the overall atmosphere and phrasing wasn’t too original, as if I had heard it before.

Thankfully the next track, “Fall Into the Light” is a spectacular song with a new, Metallica-esque ‘thrash’ riff, something I did not expect. The chorus vocals have an incredibly melodic sound to it and is one of my favorites. At around three and a half minutes, the song cuts out into an acoustic guitar build up, almost reminiscent of the song title. After an accumulation of energy, the song fires back into the fast riff, with one of the best Jordan Rudess keyboard solos on the entire album. Following this song is “Barstool Warrior” and, besides the name, is easily one of my favorite dream theater songs- period. The intro follows a more typical progressive guitar and keyboard harmony, with the polyrhythmic drumming and bass playing providing a solid base. The small drum interlude shows the speed and technicality from Mangini is his short “prodigy section”, which then transitions into a very enticing melody from Petrucci. Just when you think the song ends, Rudess plays a short, clean piano interval while the guitar comes back and the powerful solo fades out until the end of the song.

“Room 137” is next, with a heavy and pounding guitar riff chugging along. While the vocals don’t take long to come in, I wasn't a fan of the vocal melody following the guitar riff in this song. The different solos, on the other hand, were by far some of the most creative I have heard in a while, as they incorporate different genres of music and rock. “S2N” follows, starting with a Rush-type bass riff and the rest of the band dynamically jumping in. This track has my favorite chorus on the entire album as well, as it is catchy and follows the instruments extremely well. The many solos on this song are purely insane, as they are technical but suit the overall theme of the track. Then comes “At Wit’s End”, easily my favorite song on the album. The fast intro with Petrucci and Rudess in sync erupts into a perplexing main riff, in a sudden burst of energy. This is the album’s longest song, at just over 9 minutes. The lyrics address recovering from domestic violence, which really fits the dark and gloomy tone of the song. The band plays through many different chord progressions and rhythmic patterns, changing up the mood of the song. They finally end on a very melodic and tranquil guitar melody/solo which fades out and soon fades back in, recorded using only room microphones.

“Out of Reach” is the next track, which is a short and soft ballad. It does a fine job of creating a good standalone song, but its real beauty is the power to perfectly set up the final song, “Pale Blue Dot”. This 8 and a half minute album closer is the type of progressive metal power that you can expect from a band like Dream Theater. Although it is not the 20 minute closer we usually get, it does a spectacular job of showing off fast, virtuosic, and very fast styles of playing, for all the instruments. After the short drum intro, it gets into a militaristic march- Imagine Darth Vader marching down a hall- very fitting. The soundscapes used on this song are staggering and the amount of times it changed into something completely different is astounding. With odd time signatures and polyrhythmic playing, this song can be compared to some of the genre’s greats. Although “Pale Blue Dot” is technically the album closer, the bonus track is fantastic. This jam session of 5 amazingly creative musicians shows off that they really can have fun making this complex music. Its blues-inspired riff reminded made me think about what Deep Purple would sound like if they had figured out how to crank up the distortion. The organ playing from Rudess provides a solid background melody for a chorus that flies high. And both the guitar and keyboard solos are just spectacular in this bonus track.

After listening to this album many times, on both vinyl and through earbuds, I can say that the production and mix is superb. The bass is clearly heard throughout (finally!), and the drum sound is a breath of fresh air. It is very natural and fluid, unlike previous Mangini Dream Theater recordings. While, in the past, James LaBrie has had a tough time keeping his vocal range, after coaching he sounds much improved. The (almost) over-processed vocal effects production works in creating a sound that suits the band, but I couldn't help but notice times when the vocals almost felt buried. The guitar tone is massive, partly due to the fact that John Petrucci himself produced the whole album. Like Petrucci said during an interview “...it jumps out at you. It has a huge voice, it has a ton of character, it's very bold - just like Five Guys - it's very rich, definitely not cheesy, and it has a lot of layers”.

In Summary, Distance Over Time is a very welcoming addition to Dream Theater’s vast catalog. From beginning to end, it makes for an incredibly interesting listen, due to the focus on melody, energy and sheer skill. This is by far the best Mangini era Dream Theater album, really showing off his technical prowess as a drummer and as a bandmate. The mix is remarkable and is very clear, truly displaying just how proficient these musicians are at their instruments. Because of this original writing style, this album almost is a rebirth for Dream Theater and their energy, promising an extremely bright future for a band that has already been around for 30 years. It, in no way, is re-imagining progressive rock/metal, but really building off of the foundation of a genre they essentially pioneered.

Rating- (5/5)

#dream theater #distance over time #prog rock #metal

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wingroad · 5 years

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Fic year end review

again, long, boring fic talk.

Chronological breakdown:

January

Priorities 01/14

February

Noticed 02/12

Change of plans 02/13

Culture Difference 02/15

Chocolate Kiss 02/17

Don't tell anyone 02/22

March

Chance meeting 03/01

Your own medicine 03/15

Limitations 03/19

Champions 03/28

April

Nine months and counting 04/05

Status Quo 04/10

Privilege 04/14

A New Beginning 04/17

Interval 04/20

Into the wild 04/22

May

For a pretty girl 05/05

Voyage 05/05

Before your eyes 05/06

Up in the air 05/09

We need to talk about Satsuki 05/19

Waverider 05/21

The difference 05/22

Inspection 05/23

Experiment 05/27

June

Courage test 06/25

July

visit 07/29

August

Dissonance 08/02

the present 08/02

Lost (and (not) found) 04/14

check mate 08/17

The Most Beautiful Man In The World: The cute guy three doors down. 08/19

The Most Beautiful Man In The World: Mixed Signals 08/26

Heavenly 08/26

I got you. 08/31

September

The Most Beautiful Man In The World: The dog incident 09/02

Chores 09/05

The Most Beautiful Man In The World: Reconciliation 09/08

The Most Beautiful Man In The World: tree months later 09/11

October

KINKTOBER:

Chapter 1 10/03

Chapter 2 10/05

Chapter 3 10/07

Special Day 10/11

KINKTOBER CONT:

Chapter 4 10/14

Chapter 5 10/18

Chapter 6 10/21

Chapter 7 10/25

Chapter 8 10/28

Chapter 9 10/29

Chapter 10 10/30

November

Focusing 11/10

Detour 11/27

December

Romance 12/10

Ritual 12/13

Favor 12/13

Exchange 12/13

(I’m counting all three since I finished them still in December and send them out before Christmas)

Frosty bites 12/15

Emotional Support 12/21

Overall Thoughts:

most productive months: May, August, October,

least productive months: January, June, July, November

full fics: 20 (im counting every kinktober fic separately)

drabbles/ficlets: 32

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

I need to start keeping track of word counts lmao. It feels like I wrote less, because I wrote more in some months and less in others, but I also wrote (and finished!) my first multichaptered fic and did kinktober so I think it’s…a bit more? Dunno.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

So…much…smut *shakes*

As for ships I wrote kagakuro again with a (slightly bigger) dash of aomomo and a sprinkle of kikasa with one mayuaka on top. So the usual.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

From full/longer fics: Beautiful man, definitely, I had so much fun writing it.

From short drabbles: Emotional support I think. It turned EXACTLY how I wanted it, so that’s rare.

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I wrote porn for a whole month, what do you think?

Never mind that it was all tame and vanilla and extremely boring and no one read it XD

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?

I wanna do comic scripts this year! I have a bunch of ideas in my notes already. Also two bigger birthday projects which I should start on right now I guess lmao. MORE AOMOMO (multichip fic in the works orz) . Learn kikasa finally gdmnt. A special thingy for a special knb project 😉 I think that’s enough for now lol.

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year: and once again I have no idea lol.

My most popular story of this year:

Culture differences has the most hits on ao3.

Most Beautiful Man the most kudos and comments and I have 16 subs :O

According to tumblr:

Focusing – 41 notes

The present – 43 notes

Your own medicine – 40 notes

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: dunno but I think I tried hard on kinktober and the response was kinda lukewarm XD Also I really liked that kikasa Christmas drabble but I just posted it recently that’s why the response is delayed.

Most fun story to write: BEAUTIFUL MAN.

Story with the single sexiest moment: I liked writing the sex scenes for this fic and this general premise but it seemed no one even read it xD

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: that one kinktober fic…

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I don’t think there was one.

Hardest story to write: that one kinktober fic xD but also beautiful man, even tho it was fun. And that aomomo pregnancy fic.

Biggest disappointment: kinktober xD I’m sorry I’m terrible lmao

Biggest surprise: people not seeing the end of beautiful man even tho it was like…the most predictable thing ever lmao.

Most unintentionally telling story: dunno

Highlights + Wrap-up:

Favourite Opening Lines (3):

1. Kagami’s eyes are hurting from how hard he is rolling them.

2. Satsuki woke up to two birds screeching outside the bedroom window.

She groaned and buried her face in the pillow and tried blocking out the obnoxious sound but that didn’t work.

“Shut the damn window.” She mumbled and when she didn’t hear a familiar groan, she finally opened her eyes and raised her head.

3. For what it’s worth, Chihiro thought he did a good job with not freaking out when the huge door of the Akashi mansion opened and a butler assaulted him as soon as he stepped inside.

Favourite Closing Lines (4):

1. “Why are you- Dai-chan?”

“What?” Aomine snapped wetly and sniffed again. Big, fat tears rolled down his face.

Satsuki panicked for a moment, her eyes bulging, because she hadn’t seen Aomine cry like that in years.

Small hands reached out of the bundle in his direction. Aomine looked down and frowned.

“What? Are you making fun of your dad?”

Satsuki couldn’t help it and she burst out laughing.

“Shut up.” Aomine grumbled and Satsuki chuckled.

2. “Okay?” He asked unsurely, not knowing who he wanted to comfort anymore.

Kuroko shifted again but not too far away from Kagami and let him hold him. Or was he the one being held? He didn’t know anymore.

“Okay.” Kuroko’s voice was quiet but it sounded loud in his ear and Kagami shivered again. “But only for a while.”

Kagami nodded against Kuroko neck and heard him hum softly into his hair.

It was a little longer than just a while.

And when they untangled, the movie was long forgotten.

3. She looked at the necklace tucked against Aomine’s cheek which would no doubt produce an imprint of her name on his cheek in the morning.

She touched the chain of her own half and sighed.

Well, this has gotten considerably more complicated now

4. “You have ten more minutes.” He said while pulling gently on a strand of Kise’s silky locks. “And then I’m kicking you awake.”

Kise made a sleepy noise.

Yukio sighed again.

“No, I am not carrying you to bed.”

Kise frowned and Kasamatsu snorted into his cocoa.

“Nice try.”

Favorite 5 Line(s) from Anywhere:

1. But still when Kagami moved forward and slid his hand to Kuroko’s hip he couldn’t help but giggle against his mouth.

Kagami moved away and he looked annoyed.

“Stop. Imagining. It.” He gritted out and Kuroko hiccupped from laughter.

“It’s stronger than me!”

2. “Okay, ladies.” Aomine said and stood up suddenly between them. “You can continue this girl talk after practice, and after I kick your ass again.” He said pointed a finger at Kise.

“Huh? I thought you said you didn’t want to anymore after yesterday, because it was boring.”

“Well, I changed my mind.”

3. “Don’t tell me you made yourself sad while talking about middle school.” He tentatively tried with a joke that would distract him.

Kuroko laughed suddenly, voice a choked a bit and a few fresh tears rolled down his face.

“A little.” He said with a heavy sigh. “It’s been…a very long day.” He said and smiled at Kagami. Taiga thought the smile was supposed to be reassuring, but it looked more forced than anything.

“But it also made me feel really happy.”

4. This was the moment Kuroko chose to put his own hand on Kagami’s face and he realized how warm it was.

“You’re blushing.” Kuroko said and the dimple near his mouth depended.

Kagami wanted to be annoyed, but he wasn’t able to say anything coherent for a moment.

“Go to sleep.” He sighed finally and leaned forward to kiss the top of Kuroko’s head.

Kuroko shifted when he was pulling away and planted a sudden kiss to his mouth, letting Kagami have a full taste of his smile.

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milescpareview · 3 years

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How Cloud Computing Is Re-configuring Workforce

Looking at the onslaught of the deadly pandemic, the software industry has accelerated a sudden burst in the demand for cloud computing infrastructure. On one side people have lost their jobs, companies have shut down, on another side, there is a particular field that is opening up for better opportunities. Cloud Computing!

According to a survey, India will be expecting more than a million job vacancies by 2022 due to companies shifting their operations to the cloud computing infrastructure. Isn’t that amazing — despite the pandemic taking a toll on the global economy, there are still organizations that are willing to hire such a huge number of people. Not only that, talking about the Indian Cloud Computing Market, it is expected to reach US$4 billion at an annual growth rate of 30%.

Let us first understand what is cloud computing?

To put it simply, cloud computing is your motherlode. It provides you on-demand computing of resources, storage, database, networking, software, analytics, and intelligence for offering better innovation, flexible resources, and economies of scale. In other words, cloud computing is the main source or process that shares data over the internet. A basic example of cloud computing is google drive, no matter where you are working on Google drive, you can share the link over the internet with the person you want, not only that, you can decide whether the person can only see or can edit as well.

After getting an idea about cloud computing, let us have a look at how it works?

Companies do not necessarily need their computing infrastructure for their work purpose, they can simply rent access from a cloud service provider, be it an application or storage. It is the most significant benefit of cloud computing, no need to invest loads of money to develop one’s computing infrastructure. This can avoid the cost and complexity of owning an IT set-up, one can simply pay for the service they need when they use it.

Vice versa, cloud computing service providers can earn maximum profit by offering their services to a larger network.

Advantages of cloud computing:

1. Cost-effective:

When we talk about cloud computing, one of the significant advantages is the cost. Every organization strives to perform better at a pocket-friendly cost. Hence, you can buy the storage and application according to your need.

2. 24/7 available:

The data you store in the cloud storage system is available 24/7. The wait time is over.

3. Capacity is flexible:

Cloud storage has no limit when it comes to storage, you can get the amount of storage you need for your organization from your cloud computing service provider.

4. Better Security:

Every organization has some sensitive set of data that is not accessible to everyone, so when it is lost from cloud computing, it can easily be restored from anywhere, irrespective of the device you are using. You have your credentials, you can log in and access the files from anywhere.

5. Eco-friendly:

Cloud computing is being a great asset for companies to minimize carbon footprints. They use only those resources which they need, this helps them from over-provisioning. This results in no excess use of resources and energy.

6. Better collaboration:

The applications in the cloud enhance collaborations by authenticating groups of individuals virtually and allow to exchange information with the help of cloud storage. It greatly helps in customer satisfaction and better development of the product.

7. Automatic updates about the software:

In a cloud computing system, the system automatically provides regular updates about the system and security. So, you are always a step ahead with your updated security and system.

8. Easily accessible:

The Pandemic has taught us some good rules of social distancing but with cloud storage and application the necessity to rush to the office for an important file won’t be needed. One can access it from wherever they are.

9. Manageable:

Piling up files on your desk is not needed when you have cloud computing infrastructure. In fact in cloud storage, you can manage documents, images, spreadsheets, etc on individual folders. No need to hustle for anything.

10. Back-up and restore data:

Losing your data when you lost your phone or laptop or the important bag you forgot on the subway that had all your VVIP documents is now a long-ago story. In cloud computing, once the data is stored, you can retrieve it anytime, anywhere. It backs up your data the moment you store it.

Looking at these advantages, it is pretty obvious why there is a raising need for cloud computing jobs.

The cloud computing industry has taken a huge leap in the past year on its profound usage of cloud computing during the pandemic. According to global prediction, the market price for cloud computing will be sprung from 371.4 Billion USD in 2020 to 832.1 Billion USD by 2025 with an annual CAGR of 17.5% during the forecast period.

The predictions are welcoming more software developers to make the transition to cloud computing, more than ever. To taut, the demand market, IIT Roorkee — Wiley is offering Post Graduate Certification in Cloud Computing & DevOps. It includes a foundation concept of virtualization, networking, and the cloud ecosystem and outlines their role in enabling cloud models.

It’s a 7 months course with the collective knowledge influence of industry experts who have carefully curated this unique program that builds skills to design and implement the complete workflow of cloud implementation. For this program Miles education is the official channel partner, please visit Miles Education- PG Certification in Cloud Computing & DevOps.

#cloud computing #cloud engineer #cloud technology #xaas #saas #Paas #iaas #technology #tech #devops #cloud software #cloud development #software engineering #backend #backendengineer #network architecture

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huberleo · 3 years

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Once upon a time there was a strange man standing in front of a strange house

Lenny finds himself in Vienna, dislocated, dispossessed, lost. There is no flock to lead anymore, no divinity to represent. Lenny needs this feeling of power, this machinery around him that listens to his every whim. Lenny is obsessed with legacy, with power made real. I wish to remain an eternal enigma to myself and to others.[1] Lenny needs to rule over someone. Something. Lenny doesn’t fit in what he perceives as the rest of society. Lenny stands in front of the house. Ludwig is a kingdom. A realm complete in itself, surrounded by a wall. What king did not seat him at his table [2].

Prepare for Battle

Lenny stands in front of Ludwig. I'm ready to wage a war without end against you.[3] He sees himself as a being of greater glory and importance than his fellow men. He was of so great ability, even as a private citizen, that one who writes of him says he wanted nothing but a kingdom to be a king.[4] Lenny wants to build himself a monument, he wants to become immortal.

Ludwig likes rationality, Ludwig likes a good encyclopaedia that defines the world and its inhabitants and divides them into categories. Ludwig likes do divide the world into right an wrong, black and white. Ludwig knows his truth and how it is superior to earlier truths. Ludwig is a house.

Lenny likes to place himself in the pantheon of emperors, conquerors, military geniuses and deities. For he is not man, but legend. Humans are mortal; their glory may escape death. [5]

Do they fight to the death? [6] That's the fate of power.[7] Lenny wants to conquer Ludwig and make him his subject, make Ludwig a representation of his divine glory. Ludwig prepares for war.

Siege

In the eyes of contemporaries, siege warfare unfolds like a classical drama.[8] You hesitate before entering a new world as an intruder, and becoming an alien. The anticipation of the moment may be more than you bargained for. Or it might be less. The city lives suspended in history, always waiting for someone or something, condemned to remain in precarious balance, always on the verge of resurrection but also a step back from the brink, exaltations following depressions.[9].

A dog believes his master is at the door.[10] Ludwig is no dog. Ludwig is well read in the art of battle. Ludwig knows what to do, for when the battle begins: here we are plunged into a world entirely mechanical. [11] In extreme conditions, when he was under siege, the gates were closed, the battlements were manned, and the house became the city became self contained for the duration.[12] It is the way Ludwig relates to his surroundings and their history, as a place that withstood siege. Ludwig has a high wall all around him. Ludwig is a fortress.

War What is it good for?[13]

The Threshold

A gate. A door. A void. A place between worlds. Between the two, there is threshold and fiber, symbiosis of or passage between heterogeneities. [14] It is the momentary realization of leaving and entering at the same time. In a fraction of a certain time that cannot be measured you are both at once, past and future simultaneously without a present. Then you step into another world as another self and leave the alien in its pure form on the threshold, only to assume its form again once you step back into the past.

A gate in a wall. Lenny had expected something massive with at least one portcullis, something he would have to fight his way through. This is why fairy tales often had medieval architectural environments – to house their battles where good triumphs over evil, in a land far away, once upon a medieval time. [15] But it was only a simple door, almost hidden in the fabric of the wall. So devoid of ornament Lenny almost doesn’t notice. Almost.

Lenny stands on the threshold, he has breached the wall and the house is his. Ludwig is ready, the door behind Lenny falls shut, becoming part of the wall again. And though he, as the house is the most precise product of modern processes there will be entrenched within it this ancient loyalty invulnerable against the siege of our machines. [16] Every part of Ludwig is ready to fight. To defend itself with a selflessness that inspires legends. These assurances produced a degree of calm. [17] It was a dangerous calm, the one that makes you uneasy and dying to leave. Yet both fear the moment of truth when they have to confront each other not only in mind but in body. Lenny takes a step. Leaving any roots he had behind, for this step completely unearths him. The structure of reality has been fragmented, for the abolition of the mythical horizon has destroyed the divine mystery that lies beyond it. [18]

After the breach

The Garden surrounding the house in front of him feels strangely calm, almost surreal. The garden was somehow baroque in geometry, but devoid of anything Lenny would have perceived as baroque ornamentation. In front of him, a door. His next objective. It too, was devoid of ornament of any kind, which made it appear more intimidating than the last.

Ludwig studies the strange form in front of him, intrigued by this strange creature staring at him from his garden. The unfamiliarity of their situation made both of them uncomfortable, very much so. Both wanted to escape this weird stalemate. It felt wrong and yet there was a fascination with a pull that was impossible to ignore.

Entering the house

Lenny enters the house, the door seemed to carry the weight of the entire building.[19] His moment has come, the door was meant only for him.[20] Right behind that door: Hell.[21] Lenny stands on a threshold once again, determined to make this house a home, by any means necessary —a Modification of general features [22] for a start. He needs everything to be about him. He finds himself in a room, completely bare yet decorated with a variety of doors to go through next. The apparent lack of ornament disturbs Lenny, he wants Ludwig to become this bastion of his personal power far away from Rome, a temple to enshrine himself in, like the emperors of old. A new Vatican. The object of a cult, subjected to varying interpretations, the bearer of many different values, this house will become a memorial, a monument to the glory of Lenny and of his immortal self.[23] No reasoning power, no commandment, no force can override his inclination or his choice.[24] The throne admits not two. [25]

Ludwig is intrigued by Lenny. But Ludwig detests what Lenny perceives as vital for representing power. He thinks it a crime. How dare he change proportions Ludwig sees as a product of perfection, how dare he disguise the truth Ludwig represents in each little detail with meaningless follies.

As bare as the house appeared to Lenny, he quickly realizes it is a maze. Absent were the features Lenny usually used to distinguish antechambers. For him every room needed a theme, be it in colour or allegory. But when Lenny goes about the house, his manoeuvre was accompanied by another change. [26] With every threshold Lenny passes the alienation of a new room, a new world is like a blow to him. With every threshold Lenny leaves something behind. A trail consisting of fragments. Like an animal shedding fur, Lenny sheds parts of himself.

Lenny gets fully immersed in the labyrinth. Ludwig watches Lenny rummage through his rooms, rearrange his features. With every new room Lenny enters, his presence becomes more familiar to Ludwig. Room for room Ludwig becomes less himself, he thinks the outside finally caught up with him, for Lenny must represent the world outside Ludwig’s little universe.

The core of the labyrinth is Ludwig’s brain, his heart, his archive. As Lenny enters it he feels as if he just entered a holy place. Before him Ludwig’s identity is revealed. The vast archives containing all the knowledge of the past. In the middle Ludwig’s own thoughts are positioned like the sun, everything revolves around. The hierarchy of truth is clear to Lenny. He feels a sudden respect and unease, as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have. To rule completely he must put himself in that place. But that would mean to bare himself to Ludwig, his enemy. Or his host, he wasn’t sure anymore. For a moment Lenny questions his true purpose. Somewhere in the labyrinth he had lost any track of time, he entered the timeless plane of existence Ludwig had existed in until now. A sudden burst of fear drives Lenny away from this room, gripping the sleek handle he crosses another threshold. Hoping the unfamiliarity of the next room will make him forget.

Ludwig watches in astonishment as the intruder leaves this vital part of him intact, yet how could he connect his thoughts to his features anymore? His features had been dressed up, distorted. And so there would be neither accord nor conflict here,[27] just two lost souls questioning their conviction.

Lenny stands on a threshold, before him a room as grand in proportion as he once imagined, a throne room. It is a room suitable to act as a monument to him. It would have been for another Lenny. Ludwig watches Lenny wander around the full extent of the space. Ludwig doesn’t know where this room came from, it feels wrong yet it is there. It feels like a part of him. Ludwig questions his truth. The design of the History was very much an expression of his mind; he hopes it may stand, not unworthily, as a monument to his work. [28] Lenny stands in the room, his room. He has won. The thought crosses his mind. But what has he won. He has found just another room in a maze of rooms. He has gone from epic invader to ghost endlessly wandering beyond time. Lenny is lost. Ludwig is numb. He tears a rip into his wall, a door for Lenny.

Standing at the threshold of the house he looks over the whole garden.[29] Neither the parterre nor the surrounding groves show any original features.[30] Change is evident. [31] Lenny stands in the garden. He doesn’t remember there being a garden in the first place. He studies the massive wall encompassing the garden as he puts out his cigarette. Just another room in the labyrinth. A cage for his Pyrrhic victory.

Hortus conclusus

Enclosed space, a walled world, a wall around your own mind – eternal state. Every time the being that occupies this safe space ventures into another, it is as if it travelled to another realm of reality. As soon as it enters the new space it becomes alien from the old one. Therefore the hortus conclusus has to adapt to accommodate the changed needs of its resident every time they come back to what they perceive as home. It is a place of personal refuge. A place of dreams, longing and desires made real.

Standing in the garden Lenny looks at the house. It appeared calm and serene to him, but then it was a house. Even to the most prosaic it always holds something of a promise of the peaceful and pleasant place that lies within. [32]

A door in a wall

He didn’t go out through a door? [33] Once you leave your creation there is need to revert back to what you were before. Your own universe has become strange to you and the process of making it yours has to begin again. Now the same thing can’t be both known and unknown. [34] A perpetual state of rebirth on the threshold. They eagerly seek the agent of this metamorphosis, and hasten to his door. [35]

Lenny stands in front of a threshold, he still has to build himself a monument, he still needs to make these rooms fit for a god. Ludwig feels someone disturbing his peace, always crossing thresholds, always ripping him out of his eternal rest. Thus the struggle goes on. [36]

Here we go again. [37]

[1] Ludwig II [2] Cervantes, Don Quixote [3] The Young Pope [4] Machiavelli, The Prince [5] Acocella, Stone Architecture Ancient and Modern Construction Skills [6] Seneca, Complete Works [7] The Young Pope [8] Alder, Engineering the Revolution [9] Payne, Renaissance and Baroque Architecture [10] Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations [11] Serres, History of Scientific Thought [12] Mitchell, Me The Cyborg Self and the Networked City [13] Strong Whitfield, War [14] Deleuze Guattari, A Thousand Plateaus [15] Rudolph, A Companion to Medieval Art Romanesque and Gothic [16] Ockmann, Architecture Culture 1943 1968 [17] Wollstonecraft, Complete Works [18] Voegelin, Order and History 4 [19] Sudjic, The Edifice Complex [20] Zizek, Less Than Nothing [21] The Young Pope [22] Kerr, The Gentlemans House [23] Serres, History of Scientific Thought [24] de Montaigne, The Complete Essays [25] Seneca, Complete Works [26] Summerson, Architecture in Britain 1530 1830 [27] Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations [28] Schmitt, The Cambridge History of Renaissance Philosophy [29] Gothein, A History of Garden Art [30] Gothein, A History of Garden Art [31] Leatherbarrow Eisenschmidt, Twentieth Century Architecture [32] Stickley, Gustav Stickley s Craftsman Homes and Bungalows [33] Schumacher, The Autopoiesis of Architecture Vol 1 [34] Eco, The Name of the Rose [35] Aquinas, Selected Philosophical Writings [36] Sloterdijk, Critique of Cynical Reason [37] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

#huberleo #text #a tale of thresholds

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hollywoodx4 · 7 years

Text

Sticking with the Schuylers (46)

It’s late and I’m working all day tomorrow whoops...

Have some Hamliza happiness, everyone.

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Tagging: @linsnavi @butlinislin @adothoe @oosnavi

Warnings: This story is pretty heavy on mentions of both physical and emotional abuse.

There is a difference between showing and telling.

Eliza has always been a fan of the first. There is truth in telling, an unbridled amount of trust that can be thrust into a single sentence or syllable. There are quiet moments meant only for particular ears, comradery in secrecy and divulgence that cannot be matched. There is something so magnificent, however, in showing somebody what you’ve meant to say. Words do not take time to tumble from the mouth and into the air, and a lie can be created through little thought or fabrication. An action, an act of kindness or love takes so much more. Thought is poured into showing, into creating a moment that someone will treasure forever. And there can be telling within it, words that are spun with true intention within a moment created out of that feeling. Elizabeth Schuyler admires thought far much more than spoken word.

Alexander writes; he pours himself into the poetry that he gives her, on the back of take-out menus and napkins and in the margins of notes filled with legal jargon. He weaves his words into stories carried by emotion and spelled out through a glorious arrangement of descriptors and fleeting moments she hadn’t even noticed. And he gives them all to her-tucks them into her backpack, sends them hidden in bouquets of flowers. He isn’t concerned about telling the world about them. He doesn’t even mind if she doesn’t find them right away, as it often happens. Alexander uses his crafting of words to show her how he feels. It is an invitation into his mind that she accepts happily, drinks in and reads one thousand times over. He’s showed her often how much she means to him. He’s been there, through James and moving in and out…even through the social media attack, which has spiraled since his retaliation post to James just a few days ago.

Which is why this day needs to go off without a hitch.

She barely sleeps, even though Alex had stayed over again and kept her pressed to his side the entire night. The anticipation is far past sunken in, eating at her racing heart as she rolls out of bed before the sun even rises. There are alarms set on her phone, in perfectly coordinated measures. She’d written times and important names in her floral planner, which she’d then promptly hidden under her mattress for two weeks. As she looks at the date on the calendar, checks on the lack of falling snow outside the kitchen window, her heart is suspended. Today is Alexander’s 23rd birthday.

She mills about the kitchen with the hushed air of a person with too many secrets burdening her shoulders, although they are pleasant little things that keep her busy with thought. Her body moves to the beat of a song stuck in her head, which she hums as her hips sway. She measures to this beat, stopping often to sing into the scoop or tap it against the counter, creating measures of precise rhythm with a agreeable sort of discord arising from the array of instruments she’s using. Her method of cooking lacks meticulousness which had been wiped away from years of practice, of stepping on the high stool in the kitchen of her childhood home, with a youthful and heavily accented Laurie by her side. She had spent many Saturday mornings with flour in her hair and pride in her eyes.

Eliza jumps, startled at a sudden presence of hands around her waist and a chin in the crook of her neck. It doesn’t take much to recognize the morning sounds that come from Alexander; a slight yawn, a tickling rumble in his throat as he stretches his shoulders to his ears. She turns to kiss the corner of his lips before swiveling around completely, her lower lip putting on a show of becoming larger than the upper.

“This was supposed to be a surprise,” she gestures to the kitchen, a mass of ingredients splayed upon the counter in no particular arrangement besides the few white powders in a large glass bowl. He is thankful for her work but doesn’t make much out of it, unable to piece together the ingredients to form a resulting product. She guesses this by the way his eyes scan the counter, over and back again, and laughs. “Birthday breakfast is a very serious tradition in my house, and I won’t let you live without it.”

“And I wouldn’t make you. But I can help?” The inflection of his voice poses more of a question than an offer but she accepts it anyway, handing Alexander two small spoons and directing him to the last of the ingredients.

She cracks eggs with one hand, adds them to the batter and beats until it’s smooth and bubbling. Alexander props himself against the counter and watches; her expressions are ever-changing, flickering from a thin line of concentration to the continuation of a song that she fades in and out of. His hand trails the counter, where he’s left a sprinkling of flour and baking soda that dusts it like fresh fallen snow. It sticks to his hand, softens and dries it as it annunciates the print of his finger. One corner of his mouth turns up then, looking between the flour-dust and Eliza with a decisive, mischievous air. With a sweep of both hands along the counter he then wraps them around her waist, pressing on her hips and leaving the white print of his hands on his old shirt.

Eliza looks down at the mess and then over at Alexander, who has already brushed another layer of ingredients onto his hands. Her face lights up but before she can move he has her cornered, backed into the counter. Laughter escapes her in bell-toned giggles as he lifts her. She sits on the counter with a glowing lift of her lips, with the radiance of her dimples and the firm pressure of her hands snaked around him. It seems to be his mission to leave his handprint on each part of her body. She’s tipping her head, exposing the milky skin of her neck and sighing his full name through half-parted lips. She’s well-aware of the warmth that has traveled through him-that sends a drunken sort of ecstasy through her own muscles as her hands find their way to the back of his neck. He groans against her lips, involuntary and animalistic. Eliza’s legs wrap around him, pulling him closer and pressing him against the counter. The pressure of her body so close to his has hastened his pace; he tugs at his shirt where it ends mid-thigh on her, prodding until she’s taken it off with one swift movement and tossed it to the floor. Her musicality has translated to a series of sounds sung happily, desperately, through her gasping soprano. With each note he holds her tighter, presses himself further until the counter becomes nothing more than a cumbersome division between eager bodies.

He lifts her again, this time his destination clouded by the sighs that brush his ear with warmth, sending shivers down his spine and driving him further into the drunken oblivion that is Eliza with her legs wrapped tight around him. He indulges her, sinks to the floor and presses her back against the rug she keeps in front of the sink. There are stars, like the bubbling of champagne, that cloud his mind and coat his body in an eagerness not yet felt. Her vocal responses, the force of her hands as she pulls him further onto her, makes his legs buckle and his lips continue their roaming along her bare skin.

He’s sure he’s gone too far when a bang reaches her ears, strong and sudden, and her body jolts underneath his weight.

“I need you to help me win an argument.” Emily bursts through the door without knocking, ten minutes earlier than expected. It’s a notch in the long devised (and emailed several times) plan that sends a dulled row of daggers from Eliza’s eyes. Alexander is upset too, although his is more from the need to roll off of her, and the immediate covering of her bare skin with his shirt along with a redness that completely coats her cheeks. His response is more of irritation; he rolls his eyes at his middle sister, helping Eliza from the floor and brushing off the flour that coats his body in a dry, ashy, and thickly caked layer. Emily lingers in the doorway, looking between her brother and his girlfriend as if they are children who have just been caught scribbling on the walls with marker. It is a good-natured scolding, with an exasperated release of breath and the clicking of her tongue. It isn’t unlike her brother to find himself caught up in his own world-his emotions have been on consistent overdrive since she’d met him. But this animated lift of his posture and soft, doe-like shining in his eyes each time he lets them cross Eliza’s gaze? This shift is a new side to him, and a welcome one at that. She is, after all, the first person who has gotten him to stop his incessant talking for more than a minute’s time.

“You know I live to help you argue but is now really a good time? On my birthday?” Emily huffs at this, shutting the door behind her before trailing around the apartment. She gathers his things in a heaping pile; coat, wallet, and shoes, tossing them at him expectantly.

“But you’re my brother, Alex. Isn’t it your job to help your poor little sister?”

“Don’t you have three biological brothers for that?”

“Do my three biological brothers have two and a half years toward their law degree?” Emily tugs on his arm, rolling her eyes and pulling him from the middle of the kitchen. “Just help me with this and then I’ll let you go.”

He casts a glance at Eliza, who’s holding back laughter as he slides on his scarf and coat. It hasn’t taken much convincing, not with Emily’s electric energy and mischievous smile, painted on features kissed by the radiance of the sun even in the middle of the winter. He merely shrugs and follows, as life would have it with the Laurens’ girls as his sisters. On their way out Emily turns her head back to throw a smirk at Eliza, the corner of her lip turning as her eyes light with the mischief of what she’d walked in to.

“I promise, I’ll let you finish later as long as you’re safe!” Eliza can hear Alexander’s groan from the hallway as the door closes behind them, moves hastily to clear the mess they’ve made.

Emily’s set to come back much later in the day, a row of diversions beginning and ending with her keeping Alexander away from Eliza’s apartment for the rest of the day. It’s unfortunate now, as she tidies the mess they’ve made. Sweeping the piles of flour and clearing out the uncooked batter, half of which has produced blackened pancakes, it takes her several moments to compose herself enough to begin thinking of the party at hand.

It’s fortunate when her sisters come half an hour later, dressed in clothes to clean and shop. Angelica carries a print-out of Eliza’s email series; a task list she’d divvied out with please or thank you again dotted within every other line. She’s more prepared than Eliza at this point, who’s just getting out of the bathroom with shower-dampened hair. Peggy takes to the shopping list immediately, the bribe of buying her coffee for a week clearly a large enough incentive to complete the daunting task. Angelica turns on the music, a playlist of 80’s pop songs reserved for busy dance parties, and follows her middle sister’s lead as they clear her furniture. By the time they are done they’re covered in dust and beach, satisfied with their work.

John comes with decorations then, a large banner to hang over the entrance to the kitchen and a few black and white balloons. They’d argued about this a bit, John and Eliza; he’d fought for the simpler colors while Eliza insisted on green, his favorite color. In the end it had taken an influx of Pinterest posts sent angrily to her inbox to get her to agree. Now, the simpler color scheme lets off a more mature vibe, less invasive and brassy. They’re the only real decorations around, save a small gathering of presents that’s increased with each person to step through the door. Hercules brings the food, a rather flustered Peggy in tow with several bags of necessities Eliza had forgotten about with the rush of the day. They hang streamers and Eliza’s phone rings several times-an exasperated Alex, who is now being dragged blocks away to begrudgingly help Emily shop for a gift for her father. Did she forget that it’s my birthday? Did she not see what I had to leave to help her? The familiar warmth spreads up to her cheeks, and she has to look away from Valeria Laurens, who has made herself at home in the kitchen with Hercules; who’s standing on the rug in front of the stove.

By the fourth time he calls they’re nearly ready; the guests, which consist of her sisters, his family, and John, Herc, and Laff, have all arrived. Hercules and Valeria still amble about the kitchen, but they are more relaxed as mismatched plates of food now cover the island and coffee tables. There is a pleasant warmth that comes from their chattering voices, loud and raucous over another Angelica-crafted playlist. Eliza takes a step back, admiring the room and its occupants with joy bubbling over her anxious expression. It’s taken an entire day-the sun is just about to set in the bitter air outside-but the preparations have been worthwhile.

It isn’t how she expected the moment to happen; he bursts through the door after another string of annoyed (and particularly suggestive) messages, asking for nothing more than her company and a quiet night. He isn’t angry that she’s forgotten his birthday, not at all, but the task of keeping her occupied all day has put its toll on him. Emily Laurens has an innate habit of trapping people, getting what she wants with the bat of an eye or the divisive mischief she hides behind her dark, doe-like eyes. He is so exhausted of her company, in fact, that he argues with her the entire way up the stairs.

He flings open the door mid-sentence, somewhere between reminding her what she’d promised him before they’d left and chastising her for walking into Eliza’s apartment unannounced. He freezes when he’s met with the array of familiar faces. They’re the people that mean the most to him, who come up and pat his back or engulf him in hugs (or, in Valeria’s case, kiss the top of his head and cry because another one of mis bebes is growing up too quickly). It’s Eliza who lingers in the background, letting him greet everyone with a slack-jawed, illuminated grin. His eyes wander over the decorations as if they’ll disappear if he’s not quick enough, taking in the change of scenery as he attempts to get over the surprise factor. He hadn’t expected much of anything, not after Eliza had promised him a night in for his birthday, or his roommates had insisted on giving him their gift a bit early on (a new chair for his desk, as his old one had been rickety and annoying after years of all-nighters).

There is dancing and laughing, a harmonious gathering of noises and scents that turn his senses into overdrive. His New York mother (Valeria refuses to be called anything more or less by her ‘adopted’ son) and Hercules have made small foods in large quantities; chips spill from their bowls, a pile of affectionately arranged egg rolls are stacked high on a rectangular plate. There are her famous tapas, and one larger platter filled with arepas with cheese oozing from their centers. Then, behind it all, is Eliza.

Her cheeks lift instantly when his eyes meet hers. She shrugs, a cheeky sort of motion, and he crosses the apartment in minimal strides to draw her to him. He’s amused-that much is evident from the incredulous shaking of his head.

“What’s all of this?” He can’t help the repetition of kisses he presses to her lips, not when her eyes are bright with the fulfillment of her plan and warm with her gentle sort of love.

“I found out that you’ve never had a birthday party here, and that you hardly even celebrate. I had to fix that.”

“This is...my family’s here! And the guys…this is amazing.”

He draws her to him again before remembering the guests, and the party she had thrown. There rhythmic Latin sounds coming from the living room and he pulls her over to dance, tucking the other plans away for safe-keeping, for when the guests would leave. A Laurens family affair is never one without music, and they fill the floor of her apartment with swaying hips and a level of confidence that has Eliza both laughing and stunned. Their sisters dance together although Mari, young and boisterous, gravitates toward Herc and Laff with a glimmering in her eyes. This doesn’t last long before her mother shoos her away, back to the other side of the room where Emily shares her shot with Peggy as they dance. The time wears on but no one leaves the center of the living room, only to get snacks they consume with the fervent need to get back to their endless dancing. The hours have long passed before the first few bodies leave the pseudo-dance floor. Angelica and Amaia sit on the sidelines, in the middle of a long-winded and fact-backed discussion that Lafayette attempts to follow. His business-sided mind gets bored of this easily, and instead he trails over to Alexander and Eliza.

She’s dancing against him when Lafayette crosses the room, her back pressed against his chest and his arms tight around her waist. He translates his happiness to her in the run of his fingers along her hip-bone, or the ghosting of his lips on her neck. Lafayette’s presence pulls them apart immediately, but Alex’s friend manages a nod and a smile, gesturing around the room.

“Happy birthday, Hamilton. This party was an excellent idea, Eliza. Pas mal.” He winks at her, shares a smile laced with the underlying meaning of their conversation just a few weeks back. He is still finicky, clearly a bit put-off by their proximity and her dancing, which the shot of tequila had loosened considerably. There is no longer an anxiety within her heart upon seeing him; no awkward air or feeling of darkness with his smile. The praise he sings is genuine, and it fills Alexander’s heart more than hers to see his friend’s sudden change.

“How did that happen?”

“I’ll tell you later…maybe.”

Their sisters are the last to leave the party, trailing out with one another after helping clean up some of the mess. She appreciates the help, loves the company of so many helpful hands and chatting voices, getting along so splendidly. Amaia and Angelica are still debating, taking down streamers and tossing the trash. Peggy and Emily have stationed themselves in the kitchen, where the volume of their voices spills out and the pile of dishes diminishes. Eliza finally has to prod them into leaving, throwing suggestion after suggestion into the air until ordering them to leave the rest of the mess. It isn’t much, and as much as their help is appreciated it has been much too long of a day to continue on this way, with guests and social expectations she no longer wants to meet. When they’re finally gone, after Eliza has all but slammed the door on them, she lets out a heavy sigh of relief before looking up at Alexander with lightened posture and the bite of her lip.

He’s already sitting in the armchair, allowing his eyelids to drop for a millisecond before she’s joined him, sinking onto his lap and running a hand through his hair. Her hips are met with the weight of his hands, holding her there and moving her closer. She sighs contentedly, wishes him a happy birthday through a silk-spun whisper against his ear.

There is a difference between showing and telling…she is sure of it with the way his eyes ignite with flame-driven passion, a hearth fit for sitting at and chatting, growing old and rocking in front of. When she says that she loves him her words are soft and gentle, whispered late at night or gasped between breaths of necessary, involuntary air. The words are used so much that they would almost lose their meaning if they were not said with such decisive tones. It isn’t a guess, or a maybe. It slips from her lips so often in part because she can’t believe that it has happened, so fast and so sure. There is Alexander, who she’d met on a whim, with his sleepy smile and ink-stained hands and an obsession with the line of her skin just above her collar bone. There’s her Alex, with his incessant speech and crazy passion. He’d pulled her from the wreckage of herself just in time, when she’d started to give up hope on life after James. ‘I love you’ has taken on an entirely new meaning. When she hears it, she knows that it’s true. It sinks into her skin with all of the permanence and brilliant coloring of a tattoo she never covers. It spreads her lips and lifts her cheeks, brings out the dimples of the childhood and sparks her glimmering eyes.

Eliza rises from the chair, holding his hands on her hips. She needs him there-she wants him there-but the sinking of his cheesy paper birthday crown to the floor has reminded her what her true intentions had been.

“Get on the bed.” She pushes his hands away, her voice with an unwavering strength as she prods him away. His lips turn up in a wide smirk, eyelids narrowing as he follows her instruction. He is moving painfully slow, his steps treading light on the hardwood. Each time he turns around Eliza groans; she is following him, close enough to feel her presence but just far enough away from hands that have grown cold from the lack of exploration. When Alexander sits, his hands finding the silk of her dress, she presses him away. Her breath is tight in her throat, anxious and impatient. She leaves him.

“This isn’t about me, this is about-just wait here.”

It doesn’t take long for her to return. She’s changed her mind, crossing the length of the room in two strides and pressing herself onto his lap. Alexander groans in response, picking up where he had left off with the eager prod of his tongue on her closed lips. She backs away again, just enough to let her nose press against his. Her breath is warm and eager against his lips but still she waits, holding him back by the cradle of his face in her hands.

“I had something in mind.”

“Oh?”

Her hand holds his, moving it from her hip and up to her thigh and pinching at the indulgent and completely unnecessary fabric that divides them. He takes his time with her, letting the backs of his fingers slow in passing over her hips and up her side, stopping when they brush against fabric that draws them back, then forward and faster as he pulls her dress up over her head. He sits himself back then, incredulously, and lets his eyes roam freely across her figure. He wants her to stand up, to let herself be seen fully, but his words have been taken by black lace against white-rose skin. She seems to understand-in a motion of confidence she accepts his silent request, only to be drawn back in by his calloused hands on her hips, his mouth finding the space between her breasts. The warmth that spreads visibly to her cheeks spans the distance between them, travels hastily to the pants she slides from his legs with ease. Her head tips involuntarily; she sighs, and he speaks between a row of reddened marks along her neck and the base of her collarbone, a farmer’s favored spot filled too lovingly with its crop.

“Eliza, you are exquisite.” He can barely take pause long enough to squeeze in his words; they’re warm against her neck and send a shiver through her body, cause him to work slower and attentively. It takes a great deal of power to release herself from the showering of affection but she manages, pushing his back against the bed and swinging her leg over his hip.

“It’s your birthday, Alexander.” Her hair swings over one shoulder, brushes against his chest as she hovers over him. “Shut up and let me show you how much I love you.”

His head moves once, in a nod clouded slightly by delighted confusion. He has never heard this voice from her; not his sweet, gentle Eliza. She covers her smile with the press of her lips against his, lets him tug at the hair that hangs in loose curls from her head before sinking more of her weight against him. She trails slowly down his skin in dust-pressed lips and light brushes of her teeth, stopping at the tattoo on his chest to trail her fingers over the name his mother had given him. From there her pace is even slower; as her head sinks between his legs his fingers curl into her hair, nails digging and scratching and egging her on further. This is where she finds her measure. Alexander moves from buckled hips to her name, the only three syllables he’s able to handle with Eliza working such magic with her tongue. Her fingers leave indents on his hips and thighs, where she’s holding and dancing to the rhythm she has set-the rhythm he attempts to replicate with his own movements. When he has finished; when she crawls back up to press her reddened, moisture laden lips against his one last time, he fights against the paragraphs of words that have begun to write themselves into his memory. Eliza is sleepy, her head against his chest and her slightly sweat-dampened hair splayed out over it.

She is the last thing he sees on his first day of being twenty-three years old.

There are two things he is certain of as his own eyelids blissfully drift shut; he is undoubtedly, very deeply enamored with the girl who hogs the covers and kicks him in his sleep, and showing is far better than telling.

Twenty-three is going to be the best year yet.

#hamliza #hamilton au #ok so #whatever #just #ignore it if it's bad okay? good #the entire time I was editing I had Denee singing Sonya he writes he writes hE WRITES HE WRITES HE WRIIIIIIIITES stuck in my head #so that's fun #mine: swts #swts

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occasionalthoughtsofunimpor-blog · 7 years

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Camp.

That one, simple, monosyllabic word, means so much to me. It contains so many memories, so many people, and so many important moments of my life, it is hard to conceive how just one word could evoke so many thoughts and emotions.

This week, as we take the docks out of the chilly waters here at Camp Lakeview in Seymour, Indiana, it will mark 10 years since I first embarked on this journey known as camp. I could never have imagined where the winding road would lead!

It was 10 years ago that I boarded a plane in Cleveland, OH, headed to the distant Sawthooth Mountains of Idaho, to discover what being a camp counselor was all about...I had never been to Idaho before. Heck, I had never been to a camp before!

My story begins as I feel most great tales of adventure, calamity, and triumph often do, with that most primordial of masculine quests: impressing a girl. Fall semester of my freshman year of college, while searching half-heartedly and fruitlessly for a summer job, I learned that the cute girl who lived down the hall in my grungy dorm, had plans to work at a camp over those months of freedom. I had never been to camp before, let alone considered working at one! But all of a sudden, it seemed like the only logical conclusion to my aimless search for employment was sleeping in a cabin with 12 other smelly human beings.

Now here we must pause to gaze in awe at my infinite brilliance and cunningness. I knew it would be too obvious, too mundane, not impressive enough, to work at any old camp, let alone the same camp that the cute girl was working at. No, indeed not! It only made sense to go spend the summer in some far-flung, mysterious wilderness...as far away from home, and her, as possible! So on a Tuesday morning, having received a tip from my childhood Pastor (unaware of my motives, and who himself worked at a camp while a student) about an organization of many different Lutheran camps, I logged onto the interwebs, loaded a map listing all the various locations on it, and pinpointed the dot furthest away from rural Ohio.

Camp Perkins, Idaho.

I took 30 minutes of spare time between classes to flip through the application and send it on its way to the camp. The wheels were set in motion. This unsuspecting maiden would be swept off her feet by my bold, daring, trek across the country into the great unknown!

If you haven’t already guessed, my start in camp ministry did not have the best of intentions. Truthfully, even though I grew up in a faithful, Christian family; attended church and youth group every week through high school; my faith had taken a backseat in my newfound, liberated, college lifestyle . Sure, I would try to read my Bible a couple times a week, maybe go to church a few times a semester, and for the most part hold to the moral principles I had learned to live by from my upbringing. From the outside, you might even say I was being a model Christian. But on the inside, in the heart that I know, there was simply very little room for an active, living, faith and relationship with the Lord. Indeed, only 30 minutes after I finished my phone interview for a position at the camp, I was headed to a keg party with some friends.

As I prepared to venture to Idaho, the responsibilities leading Bible studies, and sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ, were the furthest things from my mind. There were more pressing matters at hand! Which hiking boots should I get to conquer those mighty peaks?! Would 5 pairs of wool socks be enough?? Is this knife big enough to kill a grizzly?!

It was a warm, sunny day when I landed in Boise. I debarked the plane in my favorite lime green basketball shorts, an ultra trendy t-shirt, and some nike flip flops. After retrieving my 50 lb. duffel bag, bursting at the seams with everything I would need for the next 11 weeks, I crossed the Potomac river like General Washington (translation: walked outside), to meet my ride up to camp. I sat down on my duffel bag at the arrival pick up lane and waited. And waited. And waited some more. In my continuing infinite brilliance, in the age before smart phones, I had neglected to write down a phone number to contact either Camp Perkins or my ride.

After 1 hour, I began to worry I had given the camp incorrect flight information.

After 2 hours, I started calculating how long I could survive on the $45 in my wallet.

After 3 hours, waves of anxiety started crashing down with the humiliating thought of having to recount the tale of my embarrassment and failure to the cute girl down the hall...

After 4 hours, the seas parted, and a chariot of fire (ok, a Subaru Outback) from heaven came roaring into the airport terminal and out popped a young man with a Camp Perkins t-shirt. Salvation at last!

As we began the 3 hour journey from Boise to camp, myself and my driver, (Whose name was Chris, but at camp they called him Bash. I liked that!) fantasized of what adventures would await us this summer. I also marveled at the scenery outside the car window. If you have never been to Idaho, it is the most under-appreciated state in the entire country! I’ve traveled to Colorado, Montana, Oregon, Arizona, Utah, California, and still, there is not sight more beautiful to me than the wild, untouched, mountains of Idaho. However, as we ventured further away from the airport, I begin to notice a worrying sign along the road. You see, we were still over an hour SOUTH of camp, and yet there was already a solid covering of this white, shiny stuff on the ground. SNOW?!?! It’s mid-May!! It was 75 degrees in Boise! In my extensive preparations, I had somehow overlooked this tiny detail...bring pants to camp. I nervously brushed off this small oversight and carried on as if it was no big deal.

We arrived at camp in the waning sunset to the sounds of loud singing coming from somewhere off in the distance. As we hauled our heavy bags across the property to our cabin, we gradually drew nearer to the source of the boisterous chanting, until we came to the top of hill where we could see a group of 40 some people singing and dancing wildly around a fire below. What had I gotten myself into?! These people were crazy!! These people were something I was not! They were loud, joyful, and couldn’t care less what anyone else around them thought! They had a passion and desire to serve the Lord and live out the gospel written on their heart!

These people were something I was not...these people were something I only conveniently pretended to be...

I was not the best counselor that summer. In fact, I don’t think I was even a good counselor! Certainly, not when I compared myself to those around me. I had never supervised kids before, I had never led a devotion before, I had never tried to console a homesick child crying in his bed. There were so many things I had never done before, never even thought about before! And all of a sudden, my life was no longer about serving myself, or doing what I wanted to do. My life was about caring for these little creatures (for some reason, I always seemed to get the youngest campers....), making sure they were having fun, making friends, staying alive, and learning about a faith that I wasn’t even sure I had.

And, through it all, the goods times and bad, the triumphs and failures, I was surrounded, supported, challenged, and loved by an amazing group of people. My fellow summer staff. I could tell you stories about the time I wore a gator skin suit and pretended to be a daredevil, or the camper who wore the same red sweatpants and sweatshirt for an entire week, or the boy who shot an arrow through his hand...the tales are endless! But while those stories are entertaining (at least to me) and exciting, what was infinitely more exciting was the story of God’s working in my heart.

That summer, the Lord led me on a journey to discover Him. I learned how the faith of a child can be the most amazing, beautiful thing you have ever seen. I discovered that God does not only exist in church on Sunday mornings, but in the most competitive game of knockout you’ve ever seen, around the warm glow of a campfire, and even in taking camper Johnny to go pee at 3 freaking-in-the-morning. I saw that God is merciful, patient, and abounding in love to the n-th degree. I found a God who was working in me and through me, in spite of my less-than-Godly motivations.

Camp.

I believe in camp ministry because I am a product of camp ministry. It is a place apart, where for a period of time, whether a summer, a week, or even a day, we can encounter the Lord in the rawness of His majestic creation. It is a place where the concerns and anxieties of daily life seem to melt away; where cell phones go to die; where sinners can go to find life.

10 years ago I first set foot on that hallowed ground that is Camp Perkins. I have seen countless victims thrown into freezing cold lakes. I have been eliminated from more games of dodgeball and knockout, by seemingly innocent children, than I care to share. I have met thousands of amazing people, each with their own unique story. I have witnessed the Lord’s Spirit at work in innumerable lives, none more so than my own. 10 years later I am still at camp because I believe it is a place that changes and saves lives. It did for me.

I could never have imagined the journey the Lord would lead me on over these past 10 years, but I could never be more grateful. I am beyond blessed. As we head into this “offseason”, I can’t but to be excited for the even more amazing things the Lord Jesus Christ is going to do!

And as for that cute girl down the hill, well it’s a funny thing...I returned to school the next fall only to learn that she had transferred to another college! Apparently she was not impressed.

I guess my going to camp was all for naught after all!

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