When the author who only wrote love/drama teenage girls books tends to write a history novel, it ends up being a gay fanfic with historical personalities and sideplot about female characters.

Why Is Draco Malfoy So Underrated?

A repost of a Quora answer because Quora hates me for some reason

@vivithefolle​ i take little convincing here I go -

SO!

You. Yeah, you. You, nebulous quora questioner, you think Malfoy is underrated, do you? Well I, CescaLR, am here to set the record straight. The following is the answer I posted to Quora, that was flagged with ‘answer may need improvement’, which means some asshole was trawling the answers to the question posted and didn’t like mine so they had the moderators hide it because said person doesn’t like differing opinions. This post is thereby an archive, so if my answer is never again allowed to see the light of day on Quora, at least my maths is visible elsewhere. 

Hopefully, this entertains you, tumblr user reading this post. Also, as fair warning, if you do like Draco Malfoy and somehow stumbled across this post, I recommend skipping it. 

Why is Draco Malfoy so underrated?

Fleur Lee-Ranger

Author of 857406 words of fanfiction and counting.

ANSWER:

HAHAHAHA.

Ha.

Ha.

hah…..

For god’s sake, I hope you’re not serious.

Let’s look at YouTube, first:

Does 2.2 million f*cking views on a woobie Draco edit seem like he’s underrated to you? Any character that gets 2.2 million views on an edit that interprets the character in a sympathetic, caring light…. Jesus Christ. They’re not underrated.

You could make a clear argument for them being overrated, by matter of fact!

The first result is his entire life story, and a redemption of the Malfoy family as a whole, and it’s… super popular!

look at that! 70k likes versus 1.7k dislikes. Let’s use my favourite maths thing once again: Ratios!!

(I hate ratios. The things I do to prove a point, eh?)

This video has 5201431 million views. It has around 70k likes, 1.1k dislikes. We’ll round 5201431, as 70k and 1.1k are both rounded numbers and I can’t be bothered to deal with numbers that are too complicated right now, it’s nearly nine pm. 5201431 -> 5.2 million. It’s the rounded number YouTube itself uses on the search page - check the first image if you don’t believe me, and since YouTube thinks that’s good enough, so will we.

5200000 : 70000 : 1100

52000 : 700 : 11

Divide all by 11 (and round awkward numbers, because we’re already dealing in rounded numbers anyway, which is kind of bad practice, but it’ll do for this context):

4,727 : 64 : 1

As I’ve proven before (not on Quora, you can probably find it in the comments of one of my fanfictions, I’ll end up moving it over here one day when I find the right question), fandom content engagement rates are always pretty bad. But honestly? every four thousand or so views, you get 64 likes, compared to just one dislike. That’s great! That’s incredible! I’d kill for those kinds of ratings!!

(Draco’d probably wimp out, though. hehe. Jokes, jokes.)

As for his woobie video:

2.3m : 152k : 715

2300000 : 153000 : 715

Nice, don’t need to remove any superfluous zeroes. Bad, for… well, your hypothesis, to put it nicely, since that means there are only seven hundred and fifteen goddamn dislikes on this video, what the f*ck, why do so many people like this b*stard child.

Ahem. Sorry, that’s rude to illegitimate children like myself. There is nothing wrong with having unmarried parents.

…Anyway, lets slim down that ratio:

3217 : 214 : 1

Holy sh*t. I would do more than kill for this ratio. Oh my god.

That’s some great engagement there. So many likes! Clearly, Draco dearie is a very popular boy! He’d love that. I hate this on principle. God am I glad 13 year old me didn’t really use YouTube (I watched gaming content and little else, didn’t even find fandom content until 2015) or I’d have contributed one of those likes, probably.

Oh wait, no! Never mind! I can’t have contributed one of those likes, because this f*cking video was posted last year!!!!!

LAST GODDAMN YEAR!!!!

Do you understand that? Do you - do you have any idea how - just how difficult it is to get that many views that quickly and with that good an engagement???? Do you???????? It has been, get this, seven, seven whole f*cking months, Less time than it takes to make a baby, and this f*cking video has 2,265,900!!! million!!!! views!!!! With a ratio of 214 likes to one goddamn dislike.

oh my god.

oh my god

oh my god

I’m having a minor mental breakdown. Jesus f*cking H Christ on a goddamn bike.

Look at these comments! Look at how many likes they have!! Oh my god!!!! Draco Malfoy might just be one of the most beloved characters ever to get this sort of reaction, for hell’s sake!

I don’t know what kind of dunderhead you are to not notice how f*cking popular this jackass little b*stard boy is, but god, the whiny little sh*t has more fans than oh, I don’t know. Someone really popular. Tom Holland? I don’t know celebrities. Sorry.

But my point is, for god’s sake, Malfoy isn’t underrated. I don’t know what rock you’ve been living under, my friend, but that sheer idolisation you so crave of your wimpy f*cking husband is right there in front of you! Just search his name, and you’ll see it front and goddamn centre. Those of us that don’t worship the ground he walks on are generally much more background.

For god’s sake, he’s a trope namer.

Draco In Leather Pants.

How much more evidence do you need than that?

Of course, I could be jumping the gun. You could be a fan of his that is frustrated by the fanon interpretation of his character. ‘Why is he reduced to a bad boy with a heart of gold when actually he’s a more complicated asshole with sh*tty morality and no backbone that gives a whole ass damn about his family but not much else?’ Good question! Blame Cassie Claire, though I suppose that’s my go-to for most things.

Seriously though; Draco Malfoy is not even remotely overrated. He’s a whiny, terrible, useless waste of space in the books; and in fandom, he’s transformed into a cool, collected, redeemable or outright good person who’s smart and talented and like, super hot you guys, doesn’t he look cute with Hermione/Harry/Insert Author’s Projected Character Here?!!!!

Also: Y’all are f*cking creeps for this shit:

THAT’S A SCENE FROM WHEN THE KID IS TWELVE, FOR GOD’S SAKE. I’m not even joking, half of you are nonces and I want nothing to do with you! ‘hot draco malfoy edits’ HE’S TWELVE

HE’S TWELVE

HE’S TWELVE.

Hot take time:

Draco Malfoy is overhyped, overrated, and oversexualised and I want all of this to stop, because you’re doing it to Tom Felton, when he was a child. A child! That’s creepy! Please do not make hot edits of children, thank you!!!!!

Someone call the police. I’m done with this f*cking fandom, oh my god.

(Also, if you think I edited that in like some sick weirdo might do, just go find that video and give it a watch. I wouldn’t if I were you, I’d believe me, because watching that video probably puts you on a watchlist somewhere.

It should.)

Okay. Deep breaths. It’s been a few months, this answer was flagged with the wonderfully opaque ‘this answer may need improvement’, and I’m back to refine this. I’m not taking anything out, but I’m adding some extra investigation. For posterity’s sake; the original answer only contained YouTube analysis. Let’s look through Archive Of Our Own, shall we?

As I showed in my answer re: the well-liked-ness of Lilly and Hermione, this is the number of total fics within the HP tag.

This is the number of tags when ‘Draco Malfoy’ is added to the ‘included characters’ filter.

So, in terms of ‘fandom work presence’ (AO3 is mostly fanfic, but it is not all fanfic, there are a few vids and some art on there, too) Malfoy’s ratio is thus:

254603:65469

3.8889… : 1

4 : 1

So, rounding up, for every four works on AO3, there is one that includes Draco dearie. Good lord, he’s pervasive, isn’t he? Can’t turn a corner in the fandom without seeing his pasty ferret face plastered all over the walls… lovely.

Now, once again - that wasn’t the best ratio. I didn’t remove bashing, for example, so not all those works will be positive (as in, since you think he’s underrated, that means - I assume - you think people don’t like him enough) so let’s go the long mile:

I will find a ratio for Mr Malfoy Jr’s fans, versus his haters, in terms of - how many fics bash Malfoy, and how many greatly enjoy his existence?

Add the bashing tag, and now let’s see how many fics there are with a) Draco in it, and b) Draco Bashing:

hahahhahagag;k;asdkf

Oh no!

Oh my god I dodn’t…. one second… give me just one second….

Right. Laughing fit over, okay. 17.

So, 65469 works with Draco present, 17 of which don’t like him overmuch, and 65452 like him just fine/present him as he appears in canon! Awesome. Of course, people who present him as he is in canon may not like him the way you want him to, so, not awesome? Hmm. I’m not sure how to filter for that. I suppose you wouldn’t want people who write him OOC, though, because that’s not rating him properly, is it? Should we add OOC to the bashing, to get people who don’t appreciate his… many positive character traits… to the extent that you would like?

Yes, I think we should.

Now, there’s no tag for ‘OOC Draco Malfoy’, because that would make my life too easy. And, I’m not going through 151 works to figure out which ones have Draco being the one OOC. If they’ve written one person OOC, and they’re self-aware enough to tag it, then I’m going to meanly assume they’ve written Draco OOC as well. When one person’s out of whack, I’ve found everyone else is, too, so I’m not just doing this to be a dick, I promise, it’s for a real, good, understandable reason, one that is not only because I really don’t want to have to do any maths more complicated than basic ratios.

So. 151 OOC works, 17 bashing works. 168 works of not properly appreciated Draco Malfoy, coming up, which takes our 65469 Draco works down to… 65301.

Well, that’s a lot, still.

So, there’s still some tags to remove, like Evil, and Abusive, and all that lark. I’ll go do that quickly, and come back with the maths.

(okay, but I do have to show this:)

(fourteen works in the ‘Evil’ draco tag?? are you serious???)

(oh and you can’t filter by Abusive Draco Malfoy, like that’s not a tag, so I can’t exclude it, but it really adds to the general atmosphere of ‘Draco Malfoy? Yeah he’s cool I like him’ that this fandom has going on, doesn’t it?)

Alright so! We really only could take away those 14 works. Okay.

By the way, just so you know - I didn’t exclude tags like ‘Death Eater Draco Malfoy’ and ‘Bully Draco Malfoy’ (if the latter even exists), because those are things that happen in canon, and when I think of a character as being ‘underrated’ I include not acknowledging their canon actions, the bad and the good. A character is only as good as their complexities run deep.

So.

For the ratio, I guess;

65469 : 151 : 17 : 14

4,676.3571… : 10.7857… : 1.2142… : 1

4,676 : 11 : 1 : 1

…

Hmm.

For every 4 thousand 6 hundred fics Draco appears in, 11 of them have OOC tagged, 1 of them has Draco Bashing tagged, and 1 of them has Evil Draco tagged. That is…

That is unfathomably good. I’m really, genuinely having a hard time picturing it. I really, honestly, don’t think there’s been a character as unquestionably overrated as Draco Malfoy in all of fandom, because, good lord, look at that ratio! People love the guy!

Let’s see the good draco malfoy tag, shall we?

Now, to be fair, most people don’t bother tagging any of this sort of thing, usually, so that’s a minor flaw in my ratio-ing. We can’t actually know exactly how many works laud Malfoy, or hate him, or feel ambivalent, because people don’t tag their shit properly. But I’m hoping this helps, at least a little. Anyway, 905! That’s a few. Not many, but certainly more than Evil or Bashing or even OOC.

65469 : 905 : 151 : 17 : 14

4,676.3571… : 64.6428 : 10.7857… : 1.2142… : 1

4,676 : 65 : 11 : 1 : 1

Yep. That’s not bad, not bad at all.

So. Most people seem to like him, if we’re honest. As I pointed out above, he’s a trope namer. If you didn’t click on the link for Draco In Leather Pants, here’s a brief summary from the TV Tropes page:

[ Transcription:

Sometimes, a fanwork will portray a villainous character in a more positive light. It can be done out of sympathy for the character, for shipping reasons, as a part of a role-reversal story, several of the aforementioned or for the variety of other reasons.

The common subjects of this treatment are characters who are wicked in a classy or cool way. A physically attractive villain is much more likely to be subject to this trope than a physically ugly one; Beauty = Goodness, after all, and shallow as it may be, it seems that, for some fans, this is the case even when the character's beauty only extends to their appearance. All Girls Want Bad Boys may be a factor with male villains getting a female fandom that views them through this lens. A badass villain will naturally be preferred by many of these over meeker heroic characters at times, as well. Ugly Cute villains also get this pretty easily. ]

So! There’s that. He named a trope all about appreciating a character perhaps (usually definitely) more than they deserve, so I wouldn’t call him ‘underrated’ by most general definitions of the word:

People seem to mostly believe him to be quite good, actually! Certainly enough to write about him a lot, to draw him a lot, to edit him a lot, to theorise about him a lot, to ship him with the main character so much that the 99th filter ever on AO3 was Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter.

Hey, actually, that’s a good idea! Which filter id is Draco Malfoy?

Now, if I’m not mistaken, it’s been a while since I had to do this -

Draco Malfoy was the 1589th tag canonised in the tag system of AO3. Let’s check the Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter tag (which I know for certain was 99) to make sure:

And lo and behold, I was right. That’s mad. That’s mad!!!!

Ooh, I’ve found a fun trick

To change which rss feed you’re looking at, copy the https:// link up to .atom in the speech marks, and change the highlighted number. That shows you what uses that tag_ids: - in this case, 93 is Draco himself. The 93rd tag, dedicated to Draco Malfoy. Good lord, that’s insane! I guess there really weren’t many other things to prioritize at the time, but that’s still silly to me.

Fluff and Angst appears to be the fiftieth tag canonised, for comparison. Sometimes when you replace the rss feed’s ‘tag’ in the address bar it takes you to the tag’s page instead of the feed, because that tag doesn’t have an rss feed. The more you know!

Anyway, back on track: I think all of that, rss feeds, youtube analytics, fandom presence, all kind of proves my point:

Draco Malfoy is not underrated. He is, arguably, overrated as a character, but unarguably very popular within the greater Harry Potter fandom. Unpopular characters don’t tend to get paired with the lead, at the very least - and you can’t turn around in the Harry Potter fandom without seeing Drarry somewhere, can you?

24 little kinks | Christmas Requests are now open! 🎄☃

“You remember that chocolate advent calendar I got you for December?”

“I do,” Loki chuckled and pressed a tender kiss to your temple. “You made me display it in the kitchen so I would not eat all of the chocolates inside at once.”

Your smile widened. “How about we get another one?”

He raised an eyebrow at you, only now paying proper attention to the sex toy ad. Then, he frowned. It was an odd mixture of disgust, genuine curiosity and even a hint of arousal flashing in his blue eyes.

“I hardly need… toys to satisfy your needs, neither do you need any to satisfy mine. You are not… unchallenged when we are in bed together, are you, sweet one? Because I can ensure you, I can change that in a heartbeat…” He threatened teasingly. His cool lips brushed against your neck, leaving behind a trail of goose bumps on your sensitive skin.

“No… of course not… but experimenting with sex toys can be a lot of fun?”

You almost giggled to yourself despite your growing excitement. You had never actually taken Loki to a sex shop. That should be really interesting; and besides, you had been imagining him tying you up and blindfolding you countless times already. The God of Mischief made no secret out of his dominance, hunger and godly stamina in bed and he had not just once forced you into so many orgasms you had nearly passed out from all the breath-taking pleasure. So why not take it up a notch?

“You intend to buy an advent calendar full of… sex toys for us?” He repeated with raised eyebrows. You could tell he was beginning to like the idea—and what he could do to you, how he could tease you with all the things in this… naughty advent calendar.

You could practically feel him slowly changing his mind, arousal radiating off of him and making you squirm a little in joyful anticipation.

Finally, he sighed, an amused but cheeky smirk playing on his lips. “Very well. Where do we acquire this calendar?”

And with that teaser, I would like to announce that this year’s Christmas requests are now open! 🎄☃ How will it work? This year I’m working on a Christmas special. Everyday, Loki and RC will open a little door and find a new toy to play with... right until Christmas Eve. That should be twenty-four really interesting days, especially with Loki being thoroughly unfamiliar with the concept of sex toys and their function.

Ideally, I would be posting one door—one Imagine, each day until Christmas but due to work, classes, sleeping and baking Christmas biscuits, that might not always work out. Therefore, some doors might get a combined Imagine.

How does my request fit in? So now it’s your turn! Send me all of your (kinky) and Christmassy prompts for Loki. I already know what’s behind every little door, of course. But that doesn’t mean I’m hoping for loads of enticement/suggestions from you guys in my inbox. You know I love receiving your ideas! Please, feel free to request whatever Christmassy prompt you can come up with--most of which I will combine with my Christmas special--and also, do not hesitate to send me requests for other characters as well, if you have any. As this is a Christmas special, most Imagines will be for Loki (and I can’t complain because usually, 80% of all requests I receive are for our mischievous Trickster 😌) but if there’s a specific prompt/request, another character will, throughout the Christmas season, of course make an appearance too.

Requests will be open until November the 30th. I bet many of you guys are in a Christmassy mood already and while I only put away my Halloween decoration today, I’m sure you are as ready as me for some Christmassy prompts.

I will not be able to take regular requests this time, due to the sheer amount of Imagines I’m planning. Rest assured though, as soon as “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” comes out, I will be posting some Kylo Ren and General Hux Imagines in between. I might even be able to take some requests as soon as I’ve seen the movie (which I am super excited about).

Until December the 1st, I will be working on the remaining requests that are still sitting in my inbox, including a sequel for that Thomas Sharpe Imagine you’re all waiting for. ♥

As usual, if you would like to request, please send me an ask, not a direct message and not a comment under this post, simply so I can keep an overview.

I write for:

Kylo Ren (Star Wars)

General Hux (Star Wars)

Captain Boomerang (Suicide Squad)

Harley Quinn (Suicide Squad)

Eric (Divergent)

Loki (Thor/The Avengers)

Newt Scamander (Fantastic Beasts)

Adam (Only Lovers Left Alive)

Captain James Conrad (Kong: Skull Island)

Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Ragnar Lothbrok (Vikings) ATTENTION: I’ve only seen two seasons thus far. If you want to request something with Ragnar, please make sure not to include any spoilers!

Jonathan Pine (The Night Manager)

Thomas Sharpe (Crimson Peak)

Now, last but not least, please just make sure to read this quick FAQ before sending me a prompt. I only have a couple of rules but I really would appreciate if you considered them before submitting. 🤗

What do you write? I’ve been a passionate fanfiction writer for more than eight years. Thus, I write stories with my own OCs and Imagines with female reader inserts only. I don’t do personalised Imagines (e.g. specific appearance or name), Imagines with real existing people (like Tom Hiddleston), alpha/omegaverse or songfics (because I have a very specific music taste and don’t want to write a songfic about a song I don’t like).

The only things I don’t particularly enjoy writing about are RC having children and being a mother (unless it’s animals because I’m a proud cat mummy), or being a child. Suicide and self-harm are, with few exceptions concerning context, a no-go for me, as is gore. Other than that, I’m not big on AU’s that take place outside the actual canon universe (so, e.g. vampire!Loki is fine but barista!Loki without his powers in a world in which the Avengers don’t exist isn’t really my thing).

Do you take requests? I do! If you want to send in a prompt/an idea, however, please check the description of my blog before doing so to make sure requests are open. Requests that I receive while they are closed I don’t accept simply because of time management, with only very few exceptions.Please keep in mind: Given that with more than 15k followers, I tend to get up to 100 prompts at once, I choose those I personally like the most and/or that inspire me to write something–it is, unfortunately, impossible to write them all. 😭 I also like to combine requests that work together well to work in as many of your ideas as possible.

So, what should I request? Basically, anything you want. Don’t hesitate just because you think your request is not good enough or weird! If you’re still uncomfortable though, you can send it anonymously as well. Please be aware, however, that I only write what I am personally comfortable with. If I feel like I can’t make anything of your request, if I feel like it’s a great idea but a simple oneshot wouldn’t do justice to it, if I have already read/written something too similar or if it addresses something that is triggering for me, please don’t be upset if I delete it. That, of course, doesn’t mean your request sucks but, like every writer, I want to write stories I actually enjoy writing… or it would just feel like homework! 😅

Do NOT (and trust me, I see everything) send the exact same request you’ve sent to me to other writers as well, for I think that is rude and disrespectful. Should you do so, I’ll simply delete your request(s). If you want me to write something for you, that’s great and I’m flattered but if you send me a prompt, you either want me to write it for you or you don’t want it at all. It’s as simple as that.

How do you let people know that you’ve written/deleted their requests? If the request was anonymous, all I can do is put a note at the beginning of the story and thus make everybody aware that it was a request. I don’t copy the prompts to insert in the Imagine. If the person came off-anon, I tag them to let them know it was posted. If I choose not to write your request because of one of the above named reasons, I will not publish your ask but simply delete it. It would be mean to answer something like “there’s no way in hell I will write this” and I certainly don’t want to show anybody up. However, if you’ve been waiting for a request to be written for a long time already, feel free to ask me about it and I will, if you prefer it that way, answer you privately. Sometimes Tumblr swallows asks, too, unfortunately.

Would you also write about a different character if requested? That depends on the character and the request. You might have noticed that I am mostly into bad guys and villains, so you can’t expect me to write happy unicorn fluff with the world’s nicest super hero. Anyway, you can always ask but please don’t be disappointed if I decline. Naturally, I don’t write about characters from movies/tv shows/books I don’t know, neither do I write about characters that I personally don’t like.

Do you write smut?

Yes, I do. ;-)

Do you do roleplay? No, I don’t.

Do you have a masterlist? You can find my masterlist in the description of my blog, it’s accessable on mobile as well.

What’s your Ko-fi? It’s a website on which you can support me and my writing by buying me a coffee, or alternatively, a cuppa via PayPal. It’s fast, it’s safe (you can stay anonymous) and I would appreciate it so much!

So where and how can I buy you a coffee? Click on the Ko-fi button or the “Support me?” link on my blog. ♥

That’s me (in my nursing cap because it’s my most recent photo and capping ceremony was cancelled so I took pics in my house to send to nursing school buddies instead): Amanda - meme - Manda 28 NJ Tired AF And bored so I am answering this Ask Meme I found by @myautisticjournal​

What music have you discovered or listened to lately?

I’ve been listening to my Recently Added playlist on iTunes. Only “recently added” has been adjusted to include the last 28 months. lol But I did discover Blinding Lights by The Weeknd and that song’s been making me happy. Hurricane (Reimagined) by I Prevail has hit me in the Depress and next week The Used’s new album comes out so I’m waiting for that.

Have you made any new playlists since quarantine times? If they’re on Spotify, maybe drop a link?

I haven’t made any Quarantine Playlists because ALL my music is about being isolated and depressed anyway that like... what’s the difference? 

Make a three-song-minimum playlist of songs that make you happy!

Blinding Lights // The Weeknd (also makes me think of Data because I discovered it around the same time I started watching TNG so now they Go Together) Paradise Lost // The Used Dance Monkey // Tones and I

What’s your go-to show that you like to binge watch? Why do you like that show?

Currently its Star Trek TNG - because Data And One Day at a Time because that shit hits real. 

Are there any shows that you‘ve been planning to start watching? Why do they interest you?

It was just Star Trek and I did start watching. Interested because I wanted originally to watch ST Picard because Harry Treadaway but having never seen any ST before it didnt make sense (obvs) so I went back and started watching TNG. I didn’t want to start with the original series because honestly my attention span is garbage and I just was always curious about Data and so I started with him.

What movie(s) always comforts you?

Twister, Forrest Gump, The Lion King (1994). I’m currently wearing Lion King pjs lol. Pirate Radio is a relaxing feel good movie, too. 

Are you an arts-and-crafts person? If so, what types of art/craft do you enjoy?

I try SO HARD to be lol. So far during quarantine I’ve tried crochet, I’ve tried making string bracelets as if it was 2005 and I was in 8th grade again but I forgot how to make them and my brain refuses to re-learn its too full of music, nursing school, and data now. I tried coloring and lost patience. I have been working on a Quarantine Photo-Journal. Every day I post a tiny update and a few pictures (mostly memes since i cant leave the house and several Data photos lolololol) but my printer isn’t working right all of a sudden so I can’t print out any new pictures which I guess that one project I was really enjoying is out the window.

Do you have any planned projects to work on during self-isolation? If you’ve started any and you’re willing, share a photo of what you’re working on!

Here’s a pic of page like 3 or something lol

If you had to recommend an art or craft for people to get into, what would you recommend and why?

Man. Just do what makes you happy. I saw someone on TikTok making GIANT ass Worms on Strings and honestly. Pure genius. 

What are your favorite YouTube channels? Why do you like them?

Achievement Hunter. Rooster Teeth. Markiplier. They make the funny. Various ASMR channels. They make the sleep.

What is the weirdest YouTube video you’ve ever watched?

Conspiracy Theory videos probably. I don’t really know. 

Recommend a book or book series to read!

Across the Universe trilogy by Beth Revis read it and fangirl with me I am so alone.

Are there any books that you’ve read multiple times? If you could re-read a book that you loved as if it were the very first time, what book would you choose?

The Islander by Cynthia Rylant. I don’t know why but the first time I read it it just transported me into the middle of it and it was amazing (I was like 11) and it was so mysterious and everything. I’d like to read that one like the first time. Also Living Hell by Catherine Jinks did a similar thing 

What’s your favorite book genre? Why do you enjoy it?

Science Fiction. Because I like science. and Fiction and space and robots and things. 

If you were to write a fanfiction about your own life, how would it go?

LOL The tags would be like : #depression #anxiety #ptsd #childhood abuse #adulthood abuse #i miss having sex but at least i dont wanna die #except i still do #twsuicideideation #badluck #dontread lol

What’s the best fanfiction that you’ve ever read (or the top three if you can’t choose just one )? What about it made an impression on you?

My brain hurts too much to pick a top three but I will say I am currently reading May I by @ladyfogg​ and it’s been giving me the squishy feels and I am loving it and ya’ll should read it. Her OC is relatable and also inspiring and I think at this point I don’t need to mention Data anymore. (But I did). 

Do you listen to podcasts? What kind of podcasts do you listen to?

Off Topic podcast and used to listen to RT podcast when Burnie was still on. IDK what kind of podcast that is other than ‘usually wild’ 

If you could make your own podcast, what would it be about and who would you invite to make a guest appearance?

It would be about anything and everything. I’d invite anyone for an appearance lol

Are you addicted to Animal Crossing: New Horizons? If yes, what’s your favorite thing about it so far?

Yes. My favorite thing has to be CUBE. CUBE I LOVE CUBE. I WOULD DIE FOR CUBE.

If you had to recommend ONE video game, what would it be and why?

Cube. I mean, Animal Crossing. 

Have you tried any new recipes lately? If yes (and if they were good), share it with the class! I’m sure everyone is as bored with the same old foods as I am by this point.

I am too lazy to cook even when I want to so I always end up getting take out or delivery. 

What is your favorite website to waste time on? (Is it, perhaps, tumblr?)

Tumbebells. (Tumblr yes)

How are you finding ways to stay connected with your friends and family? From video calling to playing online games, what would you say has worked the best for you?

Nothing. I’m sitting here wallowing in deep loneliness and it’s killing me. It’s just my grandma and my cat and that’s why I can’t go out or work (I am a Patient Care Associate and I know the hospitals could use help but my grandma is 83 years old and it’s too high of a risk for her for me to be working in a hospital and coming home from there). 

If you have pets, first of all share some photos! Second, how have you been spending your time with them?

LOLA. L-O-L-A LOLA. LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOLA She doesn’t leave me alone. Her new trick has been LAUNCHING her 7lb body on to my back while I’m standing and pretending she’s my goddamn backpack. And earlier today she decided to pull the socks out of my sock drawer. Because she loves me. 

Share your general quarantine experience so far. How are you handling it?

Bad. I often forget to take my meds, we’ve been on “spring break” from nursing school this week so I have 0 sense of time and no routine and I’ve sometimes been going to bed at 4am, sometimes 4pm, sleeping until like 9-11 regardless and I spend 95% of the day in bed. I can’t be bothered to change, sometimes can’t be bothered to really eat, and I care 0% about showering and Doing Anything. lol 

I mean it’s been great guys. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it!

I did somehow loose 2lbs without trying tho. That’s a total of 7.8lbs lost since March. Only 125 more to go BUT THE GYM IS CLOSED AND IT HAS BEEN COLD AND RAINING.

I’ll shut up.

I tag @lyrslair​, @ladyfogg​ @datalaur​ and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it even tho its really long and I fucked up the layout so instead of 25 questions they’re ALL NUMBER 1. lol 

tag tag tag

��@livlovesbangtan and @gukieyoongles tagged me, thanxx 🤭🤭🤭 

I wrote too much stuff and also stupid stuff, feel free to pass it if it bores you. But it really relieved me to get these of my chest.

little rules our game has is;

*tag the person who tagged you

*answer the questions

*tag 10 people

i am starting ahahaha!

1. how tall are you?

I am 163 cm i guess, but I haven’t have measured since 8th grade and actually I feel like I haven’t grow since then. And my lil sis is even taller than my ideal height, ugh cryyy... Is there any one magic to spare me a few centimeters 🙏🙏

2. what colour and style is your hair?

My real hair colour is dark brown but i colored my hair with some temporary hair dye at the end of 2017 and around february 2018, 2 times. I dye it to a colour ‘Toffee Caramel’ and since my hair has really dark colour i didn’t expect it to change my hair colour too much but i think it did. Actually the dye was popular and also under nice brand. So i trusted and it was saying only for 28 wash or something <sorry i couldn’t translate 🤭🤭🤭> But i still have that dye at the ends of my hair but it looks horrible but my hair is so damaged. I cut it short, it doesn’t get longer and i don’t know what to do. I want to dye my hair in darker colour, similar to my real hair color and have my own colour back but my sister doensn’t let me do. HELP!!!

3. what colour are your eyes?

Dark brown 🤭🤭🤭 listen this song  😉 this song for all the jungoo lovers..

PS: I might write somethings about this song 🤭🤭🤭

4.  do you wear glasses?

Thankfully no. Because glasses never look good on me, even sunglasses. Maybe because i have sharp and thick eye brows but i love my eye brows  🤭 🤭🤭 But everyone in my family wears glasses due to eye problems so i might wear in the future.

5.  Do you wear braces?

I never wear braces and actually i am scared of dentists so i am glad. 

6.  what’s your fashion sense?

Actually it is very complicated. I might like anything. But i am not so into popular fashion sense, i sometimes find it weird or can’t like some fashion trends no matter what. 

I like to wear anything i found stylish and what wanted to wear and if feel that suited me. Actually if i feel confident with my clothes, hair, make up and over all look, my day starts so nice but if not, nothing helps too much. But lately i am in a depressive mood, especially at college and i feel super fat and ugly and i had other problems. But i am in a spring break and i hope to start motivated to new semester.

I love high waisted jeans and short tshirts. I dont like thick sweaters because i feel suffocated idk why. I love wearing short sleeves any time. I love sneakers. I love cute clothes. 

7.  full name?

I dont want to expose my real name here, I mean friends i have here know it but this post can be seen by everyone and i dont want anyone from my real life to find me so i am passing this question, sorry 🤗🤗🤗

8.  when were you born? 

I was born in 1999 and @gukieyoongles i definetely agree to you about being 90′s child ahaha if my older sister read this she would laugh at this 90′s child part but yes i am 😒😒😒

9.  where are you from and where do you live now?

I will pass this question too, sorry 🤗🤗🤗

10.  what school do you go to?

I am in college or university, I don���t know the difference between them, please enlighten me. We use university in my language but to be exact i am undergraduate student.

11.  what kind of student are you?

I used to be number one student because my mother was primary school teacher, my father is professor at university and my sister studied in best schools. So i had the effect and actually i was so focused and used to this thing. But in last semester of 10th grade my life turned upside down in the aspect of success. I lose it so fast and it added up my depression, I felt like only speciality i had was being a succesful student and now i am nothing. But i actually lost my motivation that times so i didnt put some effort. But due to my 10 years of hard work, I get the chance to get into nice university.

I am still lazy and unsuccessful but lately trying to get better so wish me luck 🙏🙏🙏

12.  do you like school?

I dont like it but that must be something with my self. Because after 2 semesters i still couldn’t adapt it totally. I hate being alone at school but also i am not such a social butterfly. So i feel confused. I have friends but i feel awkward sometimes. I don’t know adult life is so hard.

And also i sometimes feel like i hate my major but sometimes i love. So when the lessons are hard i cry and feeling like i dont belong here. So my advise is studying your dream job. but i dont have one, so yeah 😫😫😫

13.  favorite subject? 

Actually none, engineering majors suck. I love English lessons because i only feel confident in them and understand things easily and sometimes enjoy. But it is also about academic sides of English, so not very fun.

14.  favourite tv shows?

I don’t watch tv, also i don’t watch tv shows online too. I sometime start series on Netflix or some korean dramas but lose my interest soon. I AM BORED BORING 🤐🤐🤐

15.  favourite movie?

I don’t have an exact one but I love Harry Potter films and Midnight in Paris as the ones i remember. I recently watched To All The Boys i Loved Before, Like for Likes(korean film), Shazam and enjoyed all there of them.  But i don’t have a favourite one because i don’t watch a lot.

16.  favourite books?

I am not a good reader of real life books because i might lost my consciousnes with fanfiction and fangirl stuff. But now i really want to read somethings, but have no time, but will try my best.  This year i finally read Pride and Prejudice and love it too much. *searches for her Darcy hopelessly* 🤭🤭🤭 I also read a book related to Pride and Prejudice, it’s name is Austenland and it slapped me in the face about reality. If someone read it, dm me, i really need someone to talk about it without giving spoilers.

Also i read last year Stranger by Albert Camus. I don’t think i understand it exactly but it gave me this feeling in my chest. I think a lot of people probably read it, I would also love to talk about this book if you dm me.

I read all Harry Potter books except the last one idk why. But i read them in 8th grade. I know I was pretty late to read them but I was scared of Harry Potter 🤭🤭🤭 But now I reminisce that year as the best year of my life despite the fact that i was preparing for high school enterance exams. So Harry Potter holds a lot of emotions and memories for me.

17.  favourite pastime?

Wasting my time! Spending all my time on social media. Sleeping too much. Listening music with my earphones and stare outside dreamily. Doing some penpal and bulletjournaling projects(i cant do lately tho)

But in everyday life my favourite past time is listening songs we like while my sister is driving us to school. We also talk, gossip, laugh, sing along. We do it everyday while commuting and i enjoy it too much. Our school is pretty far and i dont really enjoy car rides but sometimes i enjoy this time too much that i want it to last longer.

18.  do you have any regrets?

Too many. But i can’t change them. So best thing is focusing to future but I am a person who lives thinking past and lost chances or mistakes so it ruins me. But actually to live it free, forgetting and trying to not to do them again is the best.

19. dream job?

I dont really know, but something that can make me happy. I want to go to work eagerly, enjoy my work and be proud of with my life. Something that can satisfy me and make me improve myself.

I had dreamed to be singer similar to @livlovesbangtan . But I might hate singing if I have the responsibility so no. I would love to sing and annoy people while showering like Namjoon. 🤭🤭🤭

20. would you ever like to be married?

Yes, i would love to. But actually for a very long time marriage scared me. Because of the people around me and our culture. My dad and mom had rational marriage so it also made me lose my faith. Also i see like everyone marry and streotypical life starts. People work, have childs and WHAT!!!

I am not necesserily living for marrying. I would never, if I can’t find the love of my life or i can’t trust someone. But i am such a hopeless romantic, I want to experience pure love for someone and get the same love back. It doesn’t sound so realistic so I might find it ever. But still i wish.

I want to have someone I can trust but actually it never happens in real life. Or i can’t like someone in that way, i always find some flaws. So i really need to fall in love miserably to not to see anything and love someone too much, but i don’t know if i can.

I want my s/o to propose me in a night picnic, alone and out of sudden. I would love him to carry the ring in his necklace and didn’t plan to propose exactly. Like he wants to but doesn’t know when, so he carries it with him. And that night with outbursting love, he would propose me and i accept and we have surprise weddding that night by our selves. UwU *dead*

21.  would you like to have kids?

I am not sure. First of all, I would marry to spend all my time with my s/o not for having childs. <saying this just because a lot of people around me does like that> 

I love kids but I am not sure. Like they are so cute as a baby and child but what if i can’t stand while they are in puberty?! 🤭🤭🤭

Also i sometimes feel like ‘why did i born? i didn’t want this? i don’t want to live!’ . Also feel like what if my child feels the same? Also think it is selfish to bring someone to life because we want to but life is just for suffering. Idk, i am pretty pessimist sometimes. And i dont know 😭😭😭

but i love babies, especially when they hold my forefinger with their whole fist. *cryyyyyy*

22.  how many?

Idk, bro.

23.  do you like shopping?

Yes 😉🤗🤭 i love to buy stupid things that i dont need or use.

24.  what countries have you visited?

I only visited UK and actually i loved it 😍😍😍. Also spent one day in Georgia, see around in a one day trip. But i would like to see more. 

25.  scariest nightmare you have ever had?

Let’s not talk about this. I see stupid, weird, annoying, scary dreams too much and i hate it.

26.  any enemies?

I used to have too many, but actually i realised it was one sided hate. They annoyed me but didn’t give any fuck. I hated but it only effected me, they continued carelessly so i decided to not to have one. I feel annoyed and dislike and hate people but control it to not to effect on my life. Also i try to not to have any fights with anyone. If i really don’t like them i ignore them etc.

27. any significant other?

Not yet but waiting for him to find me!

But i can’t pass this without mentioning jeon the dork jungkook. I love him 😍😭🤭

28. do you get along with your family?

I love them and i am very attached to them but also fight with them time to time.

29.  do you believe in miracles?

I believe but don’t believe i will have one.

30. how are you?

I dont know. Not too bad, not too good, enjoying but sometimes bored but sometimes tired of this life but sometimes enjoying too much???

I warned at the start so i don’t know if someone is reading still. but thanks for reading and feel free to talk to me about this stuff.

I tag everyone who wants, please tag me so i can read your answers. as the 10 people thing;

@teanites @artjjk @nochuuuenthusiast @yoongspeach @iamsadsstuff @mintseesaw @jeons-wasabi @arthoejaebum @yoongithes @kayakookie

WIP Tag Game

The lovely @approximately12lbs-of-ducks​ tagged me along (thanks b) so here I am!

1. When starting something new, how much do you know about the story before you start writing?

Most cases I either have a setting or a plot. Characters come really naturally to me (thank heavens) so I just need to fill in the story blanks. The worst cases are when I have such a beautiful imagery aspect of my story and the perfect characters to put in it, but I have no idea what they’ll do. That’s how most of my wips collect dust...

2. What draws you to your WIP(s)? Why did you choose to write that/those over anything else?

In the case of Requiem, I come back to it because the characters have such a deep and relatable relationship with each other that I can make an entire chapter out of nothing but dialogue and facial expressions and it’ll make its point. The characters practically write themselves and all I have to do is listen and record. I choose to write Requiem in particular because of how easy it is to make Nate, Alex and Dana close. They develop each other’s characters themselves by just talking, and plot comes easy when character development is breezy. (It’s just really fun to write the three of them arguing.)

3. Favorite writing spot? Why?

I have a GORGEOUS Victorian desk that I got a year or two ago and it’s my pride and joy. It’s in a corner of my room in a good spot for A/C and heating and not getting distracted by windows and doors. (I do that a lot. Just staring at bright lights or waving trees.) I write there because I can keep a stack of spirals, sticky notes and books to my left and my laptop to my right. (It’s practical and comfy.)

4. Share your favorite line of what you’ve written so far!

Ooooo, this one sums up Requiem really nicely...

“Such a pity we weren’t invited,” The figure stands as a small smirk peeks out from the stretching moonlight. Sculpted cheekbones morph into a sneer as his blackened eyes meet the shadows. “I make for excellent conversation.”

5. If you had to choose one oc to bring to life as an actual person, which one would it be and why?

If I really really really really had to choose I’d pick Kitty from a Steampunk/Cyberpunk script (yet another wip) I wrote 2 summers ago just because she’s easy to talk to and gives good hugs. But in all honesty I think the reason OCs mean so much in general is because of how they interact with each other in a certain story. I’d be heartbroken if they were all alone in the real world.

6. Are you looking to get published? If so, do you hope to make it a career?

Requiem is a fun side project that I hope to complete someday, and in terms of publishing I’d love to share and make writing my career, but I focus a lot more on movie/animated show scripts than books. Books are still a lot of fun to write though, but switching styles is kinda hard sometimes.

7. What’s something you would read but would never write (or the other way around)? Any reason?

Smut. Just because I’ll read it in fanfiction after fanfiction but I can’t even fathom how I’d describe it in a story of any kind. *shrugs in mild confusion*

8. What’s something you are most proud of about your work so far?

Requiem specifically, my integration of Nathaniel’s cult beliefs and foundation/thought process with the Bible. I spent who knows how many hours reading and rereading the Bible and learning how to cite quotes and exploring the deeper meaning behind all of the passages, and as someone who didn’t attend any kind of church services or study, I consider that a massive step towards making my book more realistic.

9. Badly describe your WIP(s) in one sentence.

Trio of mentally ill misfits create a club gone horribly wrong while eating M&Ms.

10. Why did you want to be a writer?

I never really decided to be a writer, but I spent a lot of my really early childhood alone and inside (because it was hot) so finding things to do was always a must. Books were sacred objects in my house and my parents taught me how to read at 2 years old so words just came naturally since I learned to speak in the first place. Stories became a way to cope with being bored or lonely and even now, being able to create whole people and places that do whatever you like and can talk to each other amazes me. 

Plus, elementary was really hard for me and people skills never came to me like words did so I found a way to stay sane by making people who were better than me in some way so I could set goals and expectations for myself by myself.

I’ll tag @chuddychud, @pixel-is-writing, @thebloodstainedquill, @katabasiss, @ad-drew, @bluewritesbadly, @writingonjupiter, @archivesoftheempires, @whollyart, @thelittlefoxwrites, and @cosmic-storytelling.

As always feel free to pass or tag along...

20 Question Tag Game

Please tag @the-everlasting-dream in all your posts!!

Thanks, @the-everlasting-dream, @theroyalweisme, and @hellomynameisdeviblaire for tagging me.

1. When/what age did you start writing? I started writing around 14 or 15, mostly reviews and interviews for the school newspaper and then doing some fanfiction at 16.

2. What inspired you to start? I liked how it made me feel.  Writing, for the most part, felt good, even when I sucked.  The fanfiction was a way to deal with my crushes since I didn’t have someone who could tolerate talking about them at the rate I thought about them.

3. Where and when does inspiration usually strike you? Like the Shakira English-language crossover hit, “Whenever, Wherever.”

4. Where and when do you usually to write? Morning? Late at night? On the bus? In bed? Whenever I get the chance, wish is not as often right now.  I think I do my best work late at night.  That’s is usually when the idea to solve a block I have with a WIP comes to me.  Sometimes I would write on the train or during a break at work on my iPhone in GoogleDocs, but I don’t like to do that often.  My thumbs cannot handle that kind of demand.

5. Do you listen to music while writing? If so what genre/playlist? Sometimes.  If the music is really helping to establish a mood or an aesthetic, then I would listen to that song on repeat while I write that part.  Other times if I need to focus or drown out other thoughts I would listen to some lo-fi hip-hop beats.  I have been liking Fushou. lately, especially the track “burgundy.”

6. Which category do you like best? Angst? Fluff? NSFW? Other? I like a little bit of everything.  Each category brings something different to the table.  

7. Which category do you find most challenging to write? The part of me that lives to self-flagellate would say all of them.  To narrow it down I would have to say action and NSFW.  Action because you have to write it so that the reader can see it and that can be rough.  NSFW is mostly because I have to a.) admit that I am interested in the sex I am writing, and b.) push it further and not hold back.  I am working on it.

8. If you had to pick your favourite Choices book, which one would it be and why? The Royal Romance.  It was my first book and I fell in love quickly.  See, I got the Choices app because I have been seeing the ads, I was bored and I was down for some mess of the baby daddy variety.  I saw the title and was like “oh you can get two European niggas to get to boxing over you like Darcy and Hugh Grant in Bridget Jones’ Diary? Sign me the fuck up.”  Then there was no mess and I got hooked.

9. If your Choices LIs were real, which one (and only one!) would you personally want to be with? I would say Ben from LoveHacks.  While Liam is like the romantic hero that my middle-aged heart would long for, Ben is the one I have a chance of actually finding.  Also, if I marry Ben, I could have a wedding where I don’t get kidnapped.  A fine-ass man that could support himself with his creative gig, has his own place in San Francisco, will not take your shit and love you down?  I would like that very much.  

10. Do you share any physical characteristics with your Choices MCs?  Pics/selfies optional :) I don’t think I have too many that I look like.  Especially since I tend to mix it up with my MCs and more often than not go for darker skinned MCs even though I am light skinned.  Maybe the light-skinned MC in BloodBound?

11. Which MC do you share the most personality traits with? I think all of the MCs have some aspects of me.  Halle (TRR) is Auntie Tippy.  She has the parts of me that are basically guiding me to my Auntie glory.  Aminah (BloodBound) has more of my dedication to seek out satisfaction and pleasure first, even if it's detrimental and counter-productive.  Asha (The Freshman, et al) is Needy Tippy...etc.

12. Which Choices character do you feel you have the best grasp of in terms of personality? Liam. I like writing his thoughts since he can be very cerebral and I feel like I am like that a lot of the time.  Writing for Kiara has been interesting as well since I relate to her desires to set her emotions aside to do the job even, if not especially, when it’s difficult.  

13. What’s your favourite choices pairing to write for? Liam x MC obviously.  Almost too much to the point that other pairings and other projects outside of them really suffer.  For every one idea I would have for a fic that isn’t about Halle and Liam, I would have 10 fics that center them.

14. What is a pairing/s you hope to start writing for? I am writing more about Aminah in BloodBound for my TRR x BloodBound crossover series, In the Dark.  I would like to spend more time with her and also Zahra and Hayden for Perfect Match.  I have a series outline for Perfect Match but I have not been dedicating a lot of time to it because Halle and Liam kind of dominate my imagination.  Also, I have that Zahra is Nigerian and my Yoruba is shite and Zahra does speak it.  

15. What do you hope to improve in your writing? Lots of things.  A better grasp of conversational foreign languages would be nice.  Also, I think I could use more diverse words.  Sometimes I repeat the same word for stylistic reasons, but I could opt out of that more often.

16. Any pet peeves related to writing? As a reader, poor formatting is a huge turn-off.  Especially when it comes to dialogue.  Not breaking up the dialogue when you have two characters talking to each other is a huge pet peeve of mine.  Not breaking up paragraphs is also a great way to not have me read your fic.  As a writer, my crippling insecurities keep me busy.  Also, the pronoun versus proper noun thing could be better.

17. Are you inspired by any IRL experiences when you write? Care to share? All of the time.  All of my MCs are Black Women and race/gender play a role in their lives, some more than others.  For the Home series, I drew a lot from the current climate and just American history to influence Halle, her character, and experiences.  I also thought a lot about Meghan Markle and how she was treated by the British media and the conversation about her.

18. Is there any particular piece of work you consider to be your ultimate writing goal? Something so amazing you hope one day you’ll be able to be up to that standard? I am inspired by a lot of writers on here.  Like blown away by the writing and fic concepts.  So much so that I cannot name just one work or one writer.  @madaraism has this series, Himeros, that makes me weep openly at my desk.  I have recommended it before, will do it again.  @i-dream-so-i-write can really do an AU scenario that is developed, nuanced and interesting, but still works within canon.  That is hard.  Especially for a reader like me that isn’t that big into AUs, but I am into hers.  This is why I am so lucky that she wanted to do In the Dark with me.  

19. Did/do you write for any other fandoms? If so which ones? I did write for Radio Free Roscoe back in the day.   

20. In your spare time (when you’re not writing) what other hobbies do you pursue? I listen to a metric ton of podcasts.  They usually fall into three camps: ratchetry with social commentary, social commentary, and true crime.  I have tons of recommendations.  Feel free to ask.  I also do a lot of reading and I have been trying to get back into watching TV series and Netflix.  When I am not doing those things, I am indulging my hair product obsession.  

So I am not going to tag a bunch of people since a lot of the people I have tagged have done this already

I am tagging: @i-dream-so-i-write  @lizzybeth1986  @mrswalkerwrites  @kingliamthirst   @umccall71

Share and tag your favourite writers!

Combatants ~ Part 7

A/N: OKAY! I DRANK WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY SO THIS IS THE RESULT OF IT! Part 7 is out.. I mean not yet because I’m writing this BUT it will be out after I finish writing this, adding tags, a warning and a GIF....oh and taggs BUT I AM FEELING THIS AND IT’S 1 AM! Oh shit I just thought of the cliffhanger. Yay. Okay this is not my finest part...I know but I couldn’t have written it in the better way. Why’d you think it took me five hours.

Warning: Just get ready for the 5 hour-5 am- two large energy- extravaganza and let it take you to Hogwarts.

Tags: @nadinissavage, @lexi-thechaosqueen, @grey-raven, @alohomagines, @bestillmystuckyheart, @maddyfitzhenry, @astrophileslytherin, @literally-anythin, @fashionlive15, @hello-fanfiction-goodbye-grades, @robyn-0790, @beyoursnow, @oreofrappiewithblueberry, @deanilostmyshoe, @hellboundblogger, @thewinterquicksilver 

 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 8

xx

"Come on Pads! You can't stay here forever!" shouted James from the bathroom.

"Oh yeah. Watch me!" replied Sirius and turned on the other side of the bed.

"Okay. That's it." said James and jumped on his bed. He started pulling the covers. "You..." he started when Sirius started fighting back. "Are going.." before he could finish Sirius kicked him away and started chuckling. "You bastard!" yelled James shockingly as he was layed on the floor.

"I told you Prongs. I don't want to see her." murmured Sirius and hid himself under the covers.

"So what? You'll just stay here pouting and pitying yourself till death comes?" asked James, tapping his robes and fixing his tie.

There was a big silence before Sirius decided to peek from the covers. "Yes?"

"No. You are not because she is down at breakfast and moving on and I think you should do the same. Sirius Black my arse, more like Sirius Can't-seem-to-face-a-girl-coward Black." huffed James.

Sirius shot up from bed. "Excuse me! Nobody calls me a coward!" he yelled proudly.

"Then be a man and go to breakfast!" said James and finally left the dorm. "I'll wait for you downstairs!"

---

There you were. (Y/h/c) hair, (y/e/c) eyes and that smile. He couldn't enter the Great Hall. He was just lurking around the corner and watching you.

It hurt.

It hurt knowing he can't be with you. It hurt him not getting a chance to walk over there and wrap you in his arms as he imagined it two days ago.

"Stop being creepy and go." whispered James and pushed him in. "Honestly Padfoot. Remember how many girls have felt this about you?"

"I'm not being creepy I just can't seem to stop thinking about her or look at her or having this feeling in my stomach that can't seem to go away." replied Sirius as he sat down next to Remus.

"Look who finally decided to show up. Finally left your den?" teased Remus and looked over to Sirius.

"Didn't want to..." huffed Sirius and looked over to your table.

Merlin you were so beautiful. Just sitting there and eating your cereal was perfect. "So bloody perfect." he mumbled quietly and rested his head on his arms.

"I can't believe I'm witnessing Sirius Black in love." said Lilly.

“A miracle.” said Remus, smiling at Sirius.

“5 Galleons.” smilled Marlene and streched her hand towards Peter.

“Traitor.” added Peter and gave Marlene 5 Galleons.

“Creepy.” finished James and rolled his eyes.

---

You were just talking with Bruto and Tina about your Potions assignment when you turned your gaze to the Gryffindor table.

And there he was.

Black long curls and those loving grey eyes staring at you. He was resting his head on his arms with a light smile plastered on his face. He didn’t even care you noticed him, he was just looking you from his table. 

But it hurt.

It hurt knowing he thought of you as a broken puppy who needs to be nursed. You don't need to be nursed. You're (y/n) (y/l/n) for God's sake.

A warm breath on your neck suddenly woke you up from your thoughts and you quickly turned around only to see green-grey eyes smiling at you.

Seeing his brother talking to you, he shot his head up and immediately tensed up. "The hell?"

All the Marauders turned their gaze over to you and dropped everything they held. There was Regulus Black standing next to you with a letter in his hands. They had to admit they were curious just as much as Sirius.

"Reg?" you smiled and moved over to give him a seat.

He sat down and grinned. "One letter. Three owls and a piece of paper with your name on it. Expain why it was sent to me and not you?" he smiled and waved the letter in his hands.

"Explain why you still haven't given it to me yet?" you stared at him your, eyes ripping the letter apart from curiousity.

He gave it to you and stood up. "Monty Cavandish." was all he said before he walking away.

"Monty Cavandish? How in hell does he know that name?" asked Bruto, his eyes stuck on the letter as well.

"He's their cousin. " you mumbled and opened the letter as quickly as you could.

'Dear (y/n),

Long time no see nor hear. I know I left you in the dark for almost a year. I'm sorry I haven't written you, I just thought it would be safer not to.

I'm staying with Monty in the Fairchild's place. It‘s far away from the crowd, hidden deep in the woods. He explained everything. I know I have Cavandish blood running through my vains, but they are not my family. You are my family. You will aways be my family. Remember that.

I’m sorry for the short letter. I know you must be curious why am I staying with Monty. But don't let my absence worry you.I’m safe and I’m well. I miss you so damn much and I hope I’ll see you soon.

Love, Zoey.

P.S: Burn the letter after you've read it.'

You couldn' believe it. Zoey was alive and well. He was...he was safe.

"What's wrong?" asked Bruto as tears of joy rolled down your cheeks.

You wrapped your arms around Bruto's neck feeling happier than ever. "He's okay." you squeaked and pulled away from him. "He's okay." 

---

"She's laughing?" smiled Sirius as he saw you jumping up and down at the table.

"No way." gasped James as a tiny idea popped in his mind. The only thing that would make you this happy is only one person. Zoey. He was so happy to see you smiling. Sirius was right. Your smile was gorgeous especially if it was a real, happy smile. Hearing what you went through made him believe you are never going to smile again. But there you were. Smiling.

“Should I be worried?” asked Lilly as she saw James staring at you just like Sirius.

“About (y/n)? No. I’m just happy to see her smile after everything she went through.” smiled James.

“And what might that be?”asked Sirius confused. Did James know something he didn’t?

“Her parents.” spilled James. He looked at Sirius and noticed his puzzled expression. Was he not supposed to say that? “You didn’t know?”

“Know what excatly?” asked Sirius.

Yup. He shouldn’t have said that. “I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?” asked Sirius impatiently.

“Her parents are dead.” answered James.

“They’re dead? “ asked Sirius and turned his gaze back to you. 

----

“No way am I letting you do this!” argued Bruto standing in front of you with his arms crossed and an ugly glare plastered on his face.

“I’ll be gone for a weekend and be back by Monday. I’ll be fine.” you reasured him even though it was a lie.

“Yeah. Like I believe you.” he scoffed, putting down his guard and sitting next to you. “No offense (y/n) but you have the worst luck in the world.”

“Wow, thanks. Way to boost my confidence. Plus I just found out where he is. I haven’t seen him in almost a year Bruto. A year.”

“Fine. Go. But I’m coming with you.”

“Ha!” you scoffed. “I don’t think so. I love the over-protective older brother stuff but I’m going to be fine.”

“Ouch! Did you just brotherzone me?” he said a bit offended. “Totally not the point right now. Look I promised you I’ll keep you safe (y/n), that I’ll protect you and I’m not going to leave your side.” he smiled and took your hands. “Remember when you took me to the cinema to watch The Outsiders?”

“Yeah. And we both ended up crying on the end.” you chuckled.

“Let me be your Johnny, Ponyboy.” he smiled and looked at you with his brown puppy dog eyes.

You started laughing. “’Let me be your Johnny, Ponyboy.’ You are such a dork.” you continued to laugh.

“So is that a yes?” he grinned.

“Yes. It’s a yes, but please don’t ever use that line ever again. “ 

He threw himself on your bed and put his feet on the pile of books. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m more of a Dally than Johnny anyway.” he smiled and winked at you.

You chuckled and threw yourself next to him. “I thought of you more like a Two-bit.” you added and laid your head on his stomach.

“Two-bit? Is he the crazy one?”

“He’s the one chasing the hat.”

“Oh so he’s the stupid one!” he scoffed and felt a bit hurt.

“He’s not stupid. He is loyal if I remember correctly.” you chuckled feeling his fingers running through your hair. “ You haven’t done that in such a long time.”

“What? Stroke you?” he chuckled.

“I wouldn’t use the word stroke excatly, but yeah.” you answered and wrapped your arms around his torso. Until you realized something. “Bruto?”

“Yes?” he mumbled.

“Why did you leave?”

As soon as you asked the question he stopped running his fingers through your hair. You felt him tense up and his heartbeat started beating faster. “Umm, well...”

“I never got the explenation Bruto. You simply stopped talking to me right after we .... kissed.” you suddenly realized. “Was it because we kissed?” you asked and lifted your head to face him.

“Of course it was because we kissed. (y/n), you were my first kiss, my first real kiss.”

“But it was a good first kiss, right?” you suddenly felt a bit more insecure.

“It was the perfect first kiss but after it I realized I liked you. I liked you bloody a lot. But when I realized you didn’t like me back I felt angry.”

“Of course I liked you back you fool. That’s why I kissed you back in the first place. “ 

“And now?” he asked, feeling the heat rush on his cheeks.

“Now.... now I have feelings for someone else. “ you explained and tried to avoid his gaze.

“Oh..” he sighed and feeling a strong kick in the stomach. 

“Bruto...” you said glumly, scooting next to him and taking his hands. “You are important to me. You will always be my first kiss and my first love. But I fell in love with someone else. And until I move on from him, he will hold my heart.”

“Then I’ll wait. Because until you get your heart back, you will always have mine.” he smiled and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek. Cherfully he got up from the bed and started hopping to his jacket. “Anyhow love. I am going back to my dorm and ignore Jack slash Gray because I hate him. But untill I find a way to kill him without actually killing him, I’ll have to suffer. Goodnight m’dear.” he finished and left the room. 

“Damn you Bruto Ramirez.” you chuckled after he was gone. He was perfect. Why couldn’t you love him? Why couldn’t you fall for him again instead of falling for that dickbag. 

“So what? Now you’re falling for Ramirez?” asked the sudden voice.

“Holy Rowena Ravenclaw!” you yelled jumping from your bed. “Who’s there!?” you yelled grabbing your roomates bat.

“Calm down. It’s me, Sirius.” said Sirius removing James’ invisibility cloak.

“Bloody hell Black! You want to give me a heart attack?” you panted and put down the bat.

“Did you really grab a bat instead of a wand?” he grinned.

“Oh piss off. You cought me off guard. And I don’t need a wand to protect me. Potter would know.” you smirked and walked over to your bed. “What are you doing here?”

“I know you don’t want me here, but I needed to see you. “

“Sirius..” you sighed and turned around only to find him standing inches away from you.

“Shut up and listen.” he demanded and took a step closer. “ Two days ago I was running to tell a girl I loved her. I was never the relationship type. I never told any girl I loved her because when I want to say those three words I want them to be true and spoken to the right girl. What I said to Marlene that night was my defense mechanism. I never truly understood love until I met you. The girl who was there when noone else was. The girl who I fell in love with. With you everything felt lighter. The colors were brighter and the world was happier. (y/n), I am not good with words when it comes to admitting how I truly feel inside. But the moment I realized how much I love you, was the moment I decided to spend my whole life with you. But as I was meaning to tell the girl I loved her, she broke my heart. “ he spilled and took your hands. He looked at your eyes, filled with tears of joy and felt relieved. He smiled and brushed the tears away from your wet cheeks. “I heard you talking to Ramirez, (y/n). I know I’m the boy you gave your heart to. I mean I hope it’s me.” he doubted for a second but was relieved when you nooded and put your hands on his. “ I love you (y/n) (y/l/n).” 

It stopped.

It didn’t hurt anymore. You felt happy, hell you felt like you were on Cloud 9. You loved this man and he loved you back. Everything was falling back into place or so you thought.

Hearing a slow clap coming from the shadows your heart stopped. “ That was just touching.” cackled the dark figure coming out of the dark. “Wasn’t it brother?” he turned around at the corner, where two different colored eyes lurked. 

“ Breathtaking. I think I shed a tear hearing that.” laughed Jack and walked next to his brother.

“Collin?” you quavered, your heartbeat raising and your body freezing where you stood.

“Surprised to see me dear? “ chuckled Collin and walked closer to you.

“Stay away from her.” growled Sirius and stepped in front of you.

Collin chuckled and turned to Jack. “Gray, can you please take care of this macho over here? He’s ruining the moment for me.”

Without any warning Jack pulled out his wand. “Confrigo!” he yelled and Sirius was blasted away from you. 

“Sirius!” you yelled and ran over to him, but was immediately stopped by Collin. He grabbed you by the arm and pulled you closer. 

“I’m a bit disappointed in you little brother. I thought you would at least finish him off properly. “ he smiled and pulled you even closer. “What is it called again?” he asked quetly, his nose brushing against your cheek. “ Avada Kadavra.” he whispered in your ear and nipping it in the process.

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t move. It was like your body couldn’t function anymore. Frozen from fear, you stood there, feeling weak and helpless. The fear kept spreading and all you wanted to do was start crying. It was horrible. What Collin could do was immposible to understand.

There was a reason why they called him The Ghost. When he enters the room, it suddenly becomes colder and darker. His skin was like the Moon: pale and glowing in the dark and his eyes were dark as the darkness itself. You couldn’t even figure out the color of his hair. At the times his hair was dirty grey, in the sunlight they were blonde with brown strands. In the most scariest times they were black with white strands, reflecting the night and when he was thirsty of blood his hair was a mixture of brown and red color. His eyes on the other hand always stayed the same. Dark, brown eyes where the pupil couldn’t be seen anymore. He was the definition of the ghost, the definition of fear itself.

“Stay away from her!” shouted the figure from the shadow.

Letting you go and stepping back, Collin looked over to the shadow.“And who might you be?” he chuckled.

“I am the one you want. Aren’t I?” he spoke, coming out from the shadows and revealing himself.

“Zebadaiah?”

Tagged

Maud girl, I love you, but you'll hate me for this ramble😅 A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed. Well, I'll go with all of them. For OTP, my biggest are EdWin and Royai (from FMA), Karmanami from Assassination Classroom and NaLu from FT. Friendships... I love GrayLu platonically and RoyxMaes is the best brotp😍 and of course I freaking loooove all friendships from Haikyuu and Akatsuki no Yona... And I love Zen and Mitsuhide's relationship in Akagami no shirayuki-hime and Al and Ed are best bros and the freaking platinocial relationship between Handa and Naru gets me everytime and I should probably gp to the next ask before I ramble more than necessary. B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind. Asano x Nakamura... I never even imagined them as a couple... Until I read a perfect fanfiction... And now I ship⛵️⛵️ C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will. I'll be hated.... But EdxRoy (just no, okay?! Mustang's like a dad to Ed!!) and Shirayuki x Obi because Zen😍😍 (I love their friendship tho) D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t. Yamaguchi x Yachi because I wnat Yams to be happy... But HinaYachi is love, HinaYachi is life!! E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? Not yet, but I joined FMABigBang so I'll add Ed being an overprotective drama queen (or rather, king) dad, so stay tuned! F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? Hmm... Almost a year in the FT fanfom!!! Happy birthday, I guess? G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it? I live for my OTPs! (Which just proved why I'm still single... I have my whole life aheeeaaaad~~) I think one of my first conscious OTPs (in that I knew what that was) was Harry x Hermione and it was shattered to pieces... Damn you, JK Rowling! (I still love you). H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)? Hmm... Anime. Because it's lively and you can actually picture the characters miving when reading a fanfic! I agree with manga too... And sometimes books. Movies feel just too real to be placed in cartoons, though. I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? No, but the haters were closed to it. Tho I did stop liking the small Usagi Drop fandom because of the manga spoilers that ruined my experience... To those who want to watch it, take my friendly advice, PLEASE don't read the manga. The anime is the fluffiest thing, so please just watch that. J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.) Bnha, which is why I started reading it. And Voltron.... I'll watch that soon, too. K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc? Uhm... Well that's a hard one. I absolutely love the subtle and endearing development in Oreki (hyouka) and Haruhi in Ouran, but my favourite has to go to Tsukki for how well-built it was!! Furudate-sensei, I bow im front of you. Also, honrable mention to Karma in Assassination Clasroom. L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.) I don't especially love oikawa. I admire him a tone, and I have a lot of his quotes forever saved in my phone, and I think he's the best setter of them all (I'm sorry, he has more experience and tehnique than Kags or Asaaahi, tho I agree that they'll become better than him in one year's time). So there: I aknowledge his amazingness altough he isn't my fave. M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend. Edward. I want to spend a full day with him and learn how alchemy works (and we'd complain together about how short we are). Also, Haruhi: I feel like she'd give the best advice when I'd need it. N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice). My faveourite fandom is FMA: everyone gets love and attention, and there's little to no hate. What I'd like for it is to make it alive again! I mean, there are events and the such, but the manga finished almost 10 years ago, guys! I hope the new live action will bring us back alive. O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of? Hmm... Well On my Own by Ashes Remain was the first one that popped into my head and it kind of reminds me pf Natsu. He's that character that would always smile, but he's always surpressing his feeling ('I've been stuck in a cage with my doubt/I tried forever getting out on my own') P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). Random AU...? Honestly, I'm not the biggest AU fan, but if I had to, I'd choose 'we've been stuck in a traffic jam for two hours and we're bored, let's play cards; hey wait Gray, you're cheeting; no way I'm not!; mira, doing cutesy things won't help you win... Laxus don't give in!!; if Laxus is allied with Mira so is the thunder legion! Then I'm starting one on my own! Erza, I'll join... Great, now we have Wendy on Erza's side... All dragon slayers together! And exceeds! Wait lucy, starting a female club isn't gonna help ya! ...guys? That's not how you play pocker!' AU. Okay, I may like this one in particular. Maybe I'll write it:) Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why. I've abandoned the HP fandom. I still like the books, but I kinda grew out of it...? (And into anime😇) R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? Uhm... In which one? If I'm going with FT, my favourite friendship is GrayLu. In FMA, it's a tie... I love Roy/Hughes brotp and Al/Ed brotp. In Haikyuu... Damn they're too many to choose! But I'd say the Karasuno third years: they have such a tight-knit bond!! And in AssClass it would be Karma/Okuda (it's canon in my mind but friendship in the manga). I just love how easygoing they are. Also, I love Karma/Nagisa in the second half. S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged) Hmm... There are many. My fetish is seeing people sleep: I think you can tell alot about their inner selfes from the position they use when sleeping and from their habits, because they can't control or put up a façade when it comes to that. So my headcanon is that despite being loud and obnoxious, Natsu actually occupies less space than Lucy when sleeping: he takes a baby-posture, while she lashes all over the bed, sometimes punching him im sleep unintentionately. Natsu learnt to deal with it: he actually likes holding Lucy close to make sure she's safe while sleeping. She doesn't mind, especially not during winter. Oh and they also cuddle with a cup of hot coffee in their hands during the morning. Just an after-thought~~ T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? I do! I don't care if you agree or not, but Karma can be sweet, okay? Like he can actually be a good boyfriend (tho maybe a bit possessive). He's the best at telling what's on Okuda's mind and he always buys her toffee when she's feeling down. Oh and also, Riza is a very good mother, always putting her family first. Just letting you know. U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites. Yes!! 1)Karma-assassination classroom. He's that one character that believes he's the best, only to get proven that he can be wrong. What's evenbegter is how he has room to develop and grow to be a better person... Plus, it seems I have a thing for evil goofballs. 2)This is a hard one, but Ed/Roy-Fullmetal Alchemist. I abso-freaking-lutely love all the characters in FMA, but these two attracted my attention. Ed because of how he thinks, how he wants to do good deeds in spite of his thorny exterior and how he miserably fails. I love the way he admits his failures and the way he deals with them can be childish (he's 14, for God's sake!) but he learns from them. Also, Roy because even though he went through Ishval, he still dreams of making the world a better place. I can respect a man who doesn't step over the ethics just to achieve that dream and who always bends and avoides hurting others, while never giving up. Maybe it's a dream, but I very much resonate with it. 3) Lucy from FT. She's the one character in Fairy Tail that has enough of a backstory and is weak enough to evolve. Moreover, she's not your typical girl: yes, she cares about how she looks, because she IS an woman, but she also cares about what's on the inside. She cares about her friends more than anything and even without being the strongest mage, still puts herself in danger for them. I love her resolve and her cute side, too. V - Which character do you relate to most? Hmm... Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran Highschool Host Club. Haruhi is the type to do things on her own and she repells the help of others to do her thing, which I also tend to do. Also, she shoulders a lot of her worries by herself. Plus, she never judges people on appearance and doesn't care about her own (being a girl, that's rare and helps me relate all the more). I just love her😍 (and sometimes am compared to her by my friends). W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom. Whiny female protagonist. I'm not a feminist or anything, but I've had enough of that! Yes, we all want a prince charming, but we can carry ourselves, thank you very much. X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom. Someone pursuing their dreams. Also, I love genre deconstructions (browny points if it's comedic). Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)? Voltron and Yuri on Ice (I feel like I've watched this shows even though I haven't). Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.) Don't tempt me, I will! ( I kinda have this whole post tho) Okay so I'll rant about FMA because I feel it doesn't get all he love it deserves!!! (And because I refrained from fangirling on it up to now) And since we're talking FMA, let's talk Roy Mustang (you knew this would come). Roy is just one of those very strong people that are actually just goofballs on the interior and need love. Seriously, let's take a look at what this guy went through, ok? He's an orphan, but he never complains and learnt to love his cousins (sisters) and aunt (mom). He was taught by a pretty crazy (very talented, but Hawkeye did have a screw loose for inscripting a tatoo on Riza's back and you can't convince me otherwise) alchemist, and yet he managed to become the next flame alchemy. Despite being told not to, he joined the military with a childish dream and even after learning of the harsh reality in the Ishval war, he still went on believing that he can make the country a better place. Yet he's not perfect: he can lose his temper when it comes to those he loves (Mustang being killed) and he doesn't want any more people to die. He cheerisbes his team and wants to keep them all safe. He can be a cheapskate and also a bit of an annoying guy with Ed, and he can be obnoxious, yet funny as hell (tiny miniskirts!!!) Above all, Mustang feels HUMAN! Yes, he puts up a great act, but it's an *act*. He has a more sensitive side and you better not mess with it, or he'll burn you to ashes. This concludes the short version of my Roy Mustang appeciation post. Also, I have some headcanons about him being best dad (and his child being a daddy's girl/boy because of it) and of being a pretty intimidating Führer. This concludes my post. @bookstvseriesandanimes and @paperrabbit13 know what I'm talking about😅 And I tag @bookstvseriesandanimes @paperrabbit13 @shoujoinsights @candyforever123 @funnyshoujomoments and whoever else feels up to it:)