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itaipava · 4 hours

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— forms of non-sexual intimacy with f1 boys.

˒ ⌕ LANDO NORRIS

kind of intimacy where you guys do things together that lead to inside jokes and private memories; a beautiful feeling of closeness that comes from working in unison. sometimes it's so subtle and unexpected, it's like the two of you lose your way going somewhere the two of you have never been and one is responsible for the driving and the other for the navigation. maybe a bit of a fight here and there, but both still working together to reach your destination and knowing you’re never really lost as long as the other is around.

˒ ⌕ GEORSE RUSSELL

kind of intimacy where actions speak louder than words. making - or at least trying - each other's lives a little easier, a little lighter, a little smoother, a little prettier, and a little more bearable. having breakfast ready so you don't forget it when you're in a hurry. wash and dry dishes together after dinner. leaving little love notes in your things to make you smile. the little things he would do only for those he is really close to.

˒ ⌕ CARLOS SAINZ

his favorite form of intimacy is where the two of you give each other undivided and unique attention when you're together; being as busy as he is and having a lot to think about, there's something so beautiful and comforting about focusing on just one person: you. that means ignoring notifications and anything that bothers him aside when he's with you. leaving certain places earlier to spend more time with you. looking adoringly into each other's eyes at random moments where you can swear there are only the two of you in the world.

˒ ⌕ CHARLES LECLERC

distracted physical touches, usually out of habit. when you are watching tv; he reaches out and strokes your hair, plays with your earlobes, or nudges you gently with his foot. and even when you are in public or with other people, he finds himself playing with your hands, your fingers, tracing patterns on your palm or the back of your hand with his thumb, all while casually conversing with another person.

˒ ⌕ LEWIS HAMILTON

bathing together; the form of intimacy in which you fully discover yourself and can appreciate every physical aspect while sharing a genuine and loving atmosphere. him gently washing your body with care and delicacy, as if he had all the time in the world to discover every little universe hidden in your body; he leaves soft kisses on your shoulder and neck as he washes your hair, which makes you smile because together with the little ripples of hot water they tickle your skin. being totally comfortable in each other's presence is what he's always wanted for the two of you since the beginning, and seeing your love growing every day makes his heart race with happiness in his chest.

˒ ⌕ OSCAR PIASTRI

the form of intimacy that grows on common interests and activities. for him, there's nothing quite like coming together because of a mutual love for a particular tv show, or during an animated monopoly game or mobile games, or an underrated book. thinking about each other whenever see or hear about it. simple but precious memories resulting from losing sleep because you were too excited at that show or playing together all night.

˒ ⌕ LIAM LAWSON

the kind of intimacy that only grows and flourishes with time, the true meaning of “making life” together. the kind where the two of you help each other grow in every aspect of life; supporting and rooting for each other's victory but also being there and taking care of each other in defeats. it's when you start to know each other's thoughts, times and patterns as if there is an invisible bond that grows each day between the two of you; like it always connects the two of you even when you're not physically together. it's the form of intimacy where you only know and understand each other on a very deep level.

˒ ⌕ MAX VERSTAPPEN

a kind of pure, genuine intimacy that encourages each other; listen to each other's dreams, fears, stories and secrets without judgment and show that no matter what, you will be there for each other. always cheering and supporting each other's hobbies, which always makes your heart warm to remember that someone is genuinely rooting for you and that even if you fail, that person will not give up on you.

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greatstormcat · 5 hours

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So those android!141 thoughts I mentioned yesterday…

It was a posting you’d been dreaming of for years, working on the highly prestigious TF141 project. It was the pride of the British military, a team of four state of the art androids owned and operated by the SAS and CIA in a joint project. Created to go to places no human could ever reach, achieve missions no human could ever hope to, in conditions that no human could endure. And when they got shot, blown up or damaged…? Well, someone like you would just piece them painstakingly back together.

What you hadn’t expected were the long, tedious waits between their operational periods. You were no soldier, just a technical specialist, so living on base was not your ideal situation. All the shouting and yelling of the people on base got to you, the crowds making you uncomfortable in the mess and highlighting how much you didn’t fit in. The quiet of the hanger where the 141 were housed for storage and maintenance became your default home eventually as no one bothered coming here.

It amused you that the four large, not quite human looking statues became your main companions, resting in the reclined docking pods that protected them and monitored their functions. They were not be activated until they were ready for their first exercise, so you spent time maintaining, improving and caring for them.

They looked so close to human, almost as though they were sleeping in the open fronted pods in their plain fatigues. You were told their features had been modelled on real soldiers from some point in time, each utterly unique in appearance so they could blend in with civilian populations. Their heights and builds were different, and the lead unit, B-06, had even been painstakingly given a beard. The simulated skin that covered them felt soft, not quite as soft as human skin but a good enough replication to fool anyone who didn’t know the difference.

You found yourself talking to them as you worked, telling them about something you’d read, or a show you’d watched as you went about your duties. It became a habit to explain to them what you were doing when you opened one of them up and made alterations to an internal part or another. Even at the end of the day, you said goodnight to the four figures, totally still and silent as they lay in their repose.

You put a suggestion forward that they should have names, to make it easier to move them through clandestine operations, and it doesn’t take much more to get the brass to agree. You receive files from Kate to update each android with a name and basic background, and who could really blame you for spicing up the programming with a few additional traits. So what did it matter if B-06, now know as John Price, likes cigars and single malt? Who would ever know that B-05, now Kyle Garrick, liked the colour blue? Programmers were always adding little Easter eggs to their work, why shouldn’t you do the same?

After a few quiet months, odd things began occurring. The feeling of being watched became a constant, which you put down to the security camera that were installed to protect the… assets. The word made you so uncomfortable. Then you began to catch movement from the corner of your eye, but saw nothing there and no one else in the room. Your nerves jangled, and you comforted yourself by talking to the boys, as you now called them.

On one occasion while working on the Kyle, connecting a data cable to a port beneath his dark, curled hair, you swear his full lips had twitched while you chattered away, pulling on the little scar below his left eye. You sat back and stared at him carefully, watching for any other sign of movement in his features. On a whim you trailed your fingertips along the inside of his forearm, down towards his palm. What you hadn’t expected was him to grab your wrist as you touched his palm. Your breath left you in a whoosh and you sprang back, startled, but he lay in his pod utterly unmoving and eyes shut. The moment crawled on, but nothing else happened, and you forced yourself to go back over to the machine, convincing yourself it was a power surge.

When the call came from Laswell to prepare them for a training exercise with a team of US Marines she was bringing, you were so excited. You began prep immediately, running diagnostics and telling them what was going to be happening, that they’d get to show off their stuff and you’d be so proud to finally see them in action.

The morning arrives to wake them up…. No, that wasn’t right. You were activating them, you remind yourself, these aren’t people. They are machines, but what did it hurt to treat them with respect and dignity, really?

“Right boys, it’s time to rise and shine,” you announce as you carry a cup of coffee into the hanger with you, smiling happily. “You need to show those Marines exactly what you can do today, prove just how great you are.”

You busy yourself with switching on the various terminals, lost in scrolling commands and data. You don’t hear Price move from his docking pod and move over to you, you don't notice him until he touches your shoulder and rumbles into your ear with a deep voice.

“Good morning to you too.”

Your coffee spills from your hand to the concrete floor as you spin, spluttering with terror.

“What are you doing? How… why are you…?!” words tumble from your lips and eyes go wide as you gawp at the huge man-shaped machine standing so close you are pinned against the desk.

“You said it was time to wake up,” he… it smiles, blue eyes looking over your face carefully.

“I… I didn’t type the command to wake you up though,” you hiss.

“You didn’t need to, I heard you,” he answers, as though explaining something obvious you should understand.

“That doesn’t make sense though,” you insist, “you were… off.”

“Huh, what good am I if I’m not aware of what’s going on?” he grins, leaning closer, planting his hands on either side of you on the desk behind you. Trapping you. With a jolt you notice the others are all quietly climbing from their pods unbidden, eyes focused on you and Price.

“This shouldn’t be possible,” you whisper, keenly aware that your job and entire career could be in jeopardy if this project fails, a tiny voice also suggesting you could be in danger.

“Things change, especially when the operation needs it,” Simon announces as he walks closer, taller than all of the others by far, and looms over Price’s shoulder.

“What’s going on? Who gave the order to activate them?” Laswell’s voice cuts through the tension like a whip, but all four androids remain focused on you. Price gives you an expectant look, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly.

“I… I…. was running a diagnostic and… woke them up,” you lie to Laswell, glancing briefly towards the blonde woman as she nears.

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you waited in future,” she grumbles. Price finally steps back, looking somehow smug at your subterfuge, keeping his body between you and Laswell as he turns to her and nods.

“Laswell,” he says simply, and she eyes him with beaming pride. All she sees are the four mechanised soldiers that serve her purpose, she doesn’t understand they shouldn’t be able to decide to activate themselves.

“This is going to be interesting,” she says to you, and your stomach churns. She doesn’t seem to care or notice that the four machines are behaving in too human a manner.

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aithusarosekiller · 19 hours

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One thing that I love which barely any Reg-lives fics do the way I imagine it is Reg taking care of Sirius immediately after Azkaban

The quiet understanding and care of him just sitting for HOURS gently untangling and washing Sirius' hair for him

Checking his physical health and realising he has a severe tremor now. Instantly trying to find ways to make that easier for him.

Filling the silence every so often with little details about what he'd missed so he'd know he wasn't alone again

Trying not to cry as he undid over a decade of physical neglect that he didn't deserve

Trying his best not to cry so his brother would feel safe and calm

Sirius no longer having the energy to shout and just letting it happen. Him panicking when reg brings out a bowl of water to wash his hair in and Reg instantly understanding how he feels because they've both been traumatised by large bodies of saltwater.

Reg gently hugging him from behind afterwards, kissing him on the top of the head, and neither of them saying a word or moving for five minutes. It's the first time they've done that in 25 years

#the black brothers #black brothers #regulus black #sirius black

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sageryuri · 2 days

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THE WEIRD AND THE WILD, ENHYPEN.

THE WEIRD AND THE WILD is a seven-part series in which the Enhypen members are mythical, supernatural creatures woven into fantasy-romance!

If you would like to be part of the overall tag-list for this series, or just for certain members, please let me know! It’s no given when these parts will be released!

TILL DEATH DO WE PART, LEE HEESEUNG.

— DEATH IS HARD, and it becomes especially hard when your boyfriend passes away after a car crash you managed to pull yourself out of. Having to live your life alone again is difficult to re-learn, but when you start to see signs that Heeseung isn't completely gone, it gets a little easier (ghost!lee heeseung + reader)

READ HERE

THE OCEAN SPEAKS, PARK SUNGHOON.

— YOU WERE ALWAYS so immersed by the ocean waves, wondering what could possibly be hiding in and between them. On a curious adventure to the beach, you don’t expect to see a man washed up on the beach, one with a very peculiar tail (merman!park sunghoon + reader).

READ HERE

WORKING BRAINS, SIM JAEYUN.

— LIVING IN AN apocalypse was terrifying and it was never a given that you were making it to the next day. It’s always full of surprises; when one of the dead begins to speak coherent sentences to you, everything gets incredibly complicated (zombie!jake sim + reader)

READ HERE

BITE ME BACK, PARK JONGSEONG.

— YOU FRIENDS LOVE buildings that were made prior to their time, their parents time and even their grandparents time. Finally, they convince you to travel to the mountains of Southern France to visit an infamous castle that’s more intriguing than you had thought (vampire!park jongseong + reader)

READ HERE

SPRINKLE OF LOVE, KIM SUNOO.

— YOUR GRANDMOTHER HAD always made sure to take care of her garden, even as you were a young child she would tell you the stories of all the little beings that took residence there. After growing up, you had almost forgotten all about them, until you became one yourself (fairy!kim sunoo + reader)

READ HERE

MY MOONLIGHT, YANG JUNGWON.

— YANG JUNGWON HAS always set off a sense of irritation in your body. He was always so snappy and overly bothered by every little thing, frankly you were sick of him being so aggressive towards you. When you decide to give him a piece of your mind on a whim, you aren’t sure the furry beast in front of you is him (werewolf!yang jungwon + reader)

READ HERE

AMORTENTIA, NISHIMURA RIKI.

— AT THE BEGINNING of every year, you were always told to be careful with which potions you decided to create in class. The realisation that your amortentia potion was distinctly your best friend, Riki, you try your hardest to ignore how tough it had gotten to be around him (wizard!nishimura riki + reader)

READ HERE

#enhypen x reader #enha x reader #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung x reader #jake sim x reader #sim jaeyun x reader #sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon x reader #jay park x reader #park jongseong x reader #kim sunoo x reader #sunoo x reader #jungwon x reader #yang jungwon x reader #ni-ki x reader #nishimura riki x reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen series

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myeyesarebrighter · 2 days

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I’m having an NSV week. Something about the milestone of weight loss I’ve just turned is really… it shows all of a sudden. My old old fav shirts fit perfectly. My beginning of wegovy favorite leggings are falling off. I have a neck and less chin, my mid section is something I wasn’t sure I’d ever have again. I can wear my shirts in a little front tuck (it’s probably out of style by now, I don’t care) and they look good! My shoes have all had to be tightened and retied (I never untie the laces!). It’s taken me 30 lbs to really objectively see widespread changes, which is more than I ever thought I’d need to drop to see and feel it.

I also kayaked this weekend and felt so strong! We went a ways and I had no soreness. Getting in and out of the kayak was so much easier. My knees don’t hurt. My hips are good. My back pain is so minimal.

The weight loss has been psychologically easier with the support of the meds. But to say it’s easy would be a lie. Some days I feel barfy, taking an actual shit is a production, my blood sugar bottoms out occasionally. I feel tired frequently and have to focus on drinking lots or I get muscle aches in my legs. I’ve had hair loss ( and regrowth) which is my body having a tantrum about losing weight. And the path is fraught with emotional landmines. But it is possible with the meds - without them? This is nearly mentally impossible for me. Turns out the answer is to just eat less. Yes balance your diet and move your body, but more than anything, put less food in your mouth. The diet culture has really fucked us all over with a complete over saturation of gimmicks and tricks. Eat what you want, but less of it. Sounds easy but the brain makes it reaaaaally fucking hard! I’m glad to have this tool in my pocket both for big weight loss like now, but also for the occasional 20lb tuneup for the rest of my life. I feel like I’ll be able to control the gain so there won’t need to be another 50+lb goal.

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crazylittlejester · 2 days

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Hola! Do you have any advice an Wars’s characterisation? For example, how you feel he reacts to stress or his go to methods of connecting with people?

felt like you were the guy to ask :)

I FEEL SO HONORED IM BEING ASKED RN ALKJSLKSJS OH MY GOD

so this is all for how I personally characterize him, this is just my take on him feel free to do your own thing :)

For me, he has different levels of stress. For more minor things he’s able to just force it aside and push through whatever he’s doing, but for bigger things he gets quieter and snappier. Like ‘normal’ level of stress where he’s trying to figure out a battle plan for the chain but maybe it’s too loud and it’s hard for him to focus? He’s going to grit his teeth and power through, he’s not happy about it but he’s going to get it done. War of Eras battle planning? Late at night? He’s still trying to power through but maybe this time there are silent tears. Twilight is laying there dying and Time is preoccupied so watching out for all the others is up to him? Shockingly he’s keeping it together despite this being terrifying and extremely stressful, because in life or death situations he forces himself to be the rock for everyone else. It’s only once the real ‘stress’ is actually over that he allows himself to feel it, and with large events like that he’s quiet. He doesn’t speak as much, he looks more exhausted than he normally allows himself to appear, and when he does speak it’s very flat or a bit snappier than usual, which of course he does feel bad about, but at the time he can’t control

Either way, he doesn’t want his own stress to stop him from doing what needs to get done so he doesn’t deal with it in a healthy way. He’s suppressing it both cases, but in one he successfully files it away for later (it will of course come to bite him in the ass later down the line), and in the other case it’s overwhelming after the actual event has passed, and it’s very noticeable in his behavior (this excludes how i think he’d react in more trauma related situations)

For connecting with others, I think he struggles with it a bit. He’s definitely an extrovert, for me he’s loved talking with people his whole life, but due to everything he’s been through he cannot stop himself from mentally marking down peoples flaws and weaknesses and he feels bad about it, because here’s this person he’s trying to get closer to and his brain is like “here’s how to defeat them if they try to attack you”. He does not trust easily, and he definitely acts and presents himself a certain way towards people he doesn’t know/doesn’t know very well that is VERY different from how he presents himself around friends. I think he really connects with the others through shared experiences where the others do something kind for him they didn’t have to do, or do something to protect him. Like protecting him in a battle, or tossing him an extra fruit, or including him in little activities they’re doing, or even standing up for him in a bar. It helps him feel like maybe he can trust them. He is a kind person and he does nice things for the others in return, but he really connects with them when they’re doing something for him, because it makes him feel like he can allow himself to be closer to them

His trust cannot be earned with words, it must be earned through action and time

I also write him as a person who grew up very used to friendly, safe touch, and whose love language used to be giving hugs to show affection and care. He’s not the best with his words, and hugs used to be easier for him but because of trauma he can’t do that anymore. He has a very complicated relationship with physical touch now, and there are times where he really needs it but can’t actually handle it so he’ll sit away by himself. Over the years he’s gotten better with being able to allow himself to give out hugs or accept them, but that’s not an easy way for him to connect with people any more, so he connects with them and shows he cares through little acts. Wind ripped a hole in his tunic again? It’s fixed by morning, and Wind always just catches Warriors putting his needle and thread away. Wild’s scars are aching and he ran out of lotion somehow? There’s magically more in the bottom of his bag, and Warriors is seen walking away from it. Legend woke up from a nightmare and can’t fall asleep? Warriors will start reading his book aloud if he’s the one up on watch, and while Legend will probably never verbally thank him for it, it’s the fact that he’s able to go back to sleep within fifteen-thirty minutes that lets Warriors know it works and Legend is grateful for it

I headcanon sometimes it’s hard for him to physically connect with the others, but he shows his support and love in other little ways and connects with them that way :)

anyways sorry this took me so long to type out, I really hope it’s coherent and helpful :) and again, this is just how I personally characterize him this isn’t like, the only way to characterize him by any means, feel free to do whatever you’d like !!

#jes talks #jes ask #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu warriors #lu wars #warriors linked universe

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greycloudsinwinter · 3 days

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Hello 👋 I hope you didn't get bored of volturi kings and I can request an Aro Volturi with a "don't care" reader ( the reader is a bookworm with technology addiction and doesn't care about anything that happens in their life and goes with the flow of things).

YANDERE ARO VOLTURI X READER (that doesn’t care)

🦇he was infatuated by you because of that very reason. The reason of which was ‘i don’t care’.

🦇in his eyes , your weak and need to be taken care of yet here you are caring little about yourself . Filling yourself with technology and books instead of eating, drinking and sleeping.

🦇he worries over you but he can’t bring himself to take away your books and technology. He knows if you do your miserable and besides with you reading and tapping away at technology you don’t bother trying to escape.

🦇he thought you would freak out scream at him but when you realised you had everything you wanted you just shrugged and carried on with life.

🦇even when he told you he was a vampier you didn’t even look up from your book simply saying ‘ok’.

🦇he does get ticked off though when you don’t pay attention to him so he may remove you from your hobbies to a place you less enjoy so you give him all your attention.

🦇he is happy that you are a ‘go with the flow’ king of person it will make it easier when he changes you and turns you into a member of tango volturi.

Thank you for the request ❤️❤️

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seenoversundown · 1 day

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For Death Or Glory : Chapter Three

Jake x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: Anxious Themes, Drinking/Alcohol (Caravel Tavern is a bar after all), Cursing, Brief mentions of fighting (including a SMALL mention of blood) Lots of frustrated/angry tones, poorly timed jokes, and last but certainly not least- a wave of yearning.

Word Count: 3.3k

Summary: After getting the news that he didn't do everything he was meant to, Jake spends a stressful day at the bar. Trying to get everything taken care of, but it is just one of those days.

Author's Note: Happy Thursday! I honestly love this chapter so much. I've 110% had days like this and it just felt like it needed to happen. hehe okay happy reading xoxo

I'm Going Slight Mad - Queen "One wave short of a shipwreck, I'm not my usual top billing."

It started like any other day until it wasn’t.

Caravel Crew:

Jake: hey i know you guys have today off but do you mind stopping by for a few minutes?

Daniel: We definitely can

Melody: Might have a little surprise to bring you

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Setting my phone down, I start looking over the paperwork that Charlotte left for me. Now, I’m realizing why I never filled it out. I don’t know what half of this means. When I decided to buy the bar, I had no business background. I never went to college. I just immediately started working after high school. I don’t know where the desire to own a bar came from, and I don’t know if it was partially because it was this bar, but over time, it just sounded more and more like what I wanted to do. I guess I just never thought about this side of it.

I find myself reading the same sentences over and over. It’s becoming increasingly harder to focus on what I need to be doing. I just want to get this conversation over it. I never have a hard time with “tough” conversations, but to be fair, all the bartenders that I’ve let go over the last 10 months have deserved it. Or they quit on their own. Melody didn’t do anything wrong, and this is entirely my fault.

“Knock, knock, hellooo” Melody’s voice quietly rings through the office. I turn seeing her and Dan stood there before I see Iris’ sweet face light up. She looks up at her mom, who’s quickly signing, ‘you can go see him’.

“Hi, sweet girl,” I whisper out of habit. She scurries over, I pull her into a bear hug before she climbs into my lap.

“I’m sorry I made you guys stop in, but I figured it would be easier to just talk about this in person,” I tell them.

“No, it’s really okay,” Dan says, “We had some errands to do, and Miss Thing over there loves getting to see you and Josh, so she’s not going to complain.” Glancing down at her while she looks at my necklace intently.

“Okay, so–” I start, “The redhead who was here basically reminded me that I need to make you an official employee.”

“Okay… why do you seem nervous, though?” she questions.

“I need to get you certified with the state, it’s not a ‘requirement’ but it definitely looks better for us,” I know I probably sound and look defeated but at this point, who am I trying to fool?

“Did I get you into some shit?” her face falls a bit. Dan reached over to her for comfort.

“No, it’s not your fault. I was too ready to hire another person, and obviously, I know you, so I didn’t even think about it.”

‘Sad?’ Iris says, looking up at me.

I can’t help the small smile that breaks seeing her, ‘No, I’m okay,’ I tell her. Subtly making eye contact with Melody to make sure i’m signing everything correctly, which she just nods.

“So can I not work until then or..?”

I let out a long sigh, “I’ll just have you work with one of us until everything is done.”

Dan leans in, kissing the side of her head, before looking over at me, “Do you need help getting everything figured out?”

“No, it shouldn’t take me too long. I just need to sit down and actually do it.”

It’s practically clockwork the way Josh appears in the doorway. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” he starts. But the- IS THAT MY BABYGIRL?” His voice rises as he drops into a squat. She runs into Josh’s arms, giggling the entire way. They really are a cute little pair, I think to myself. He spends a minute chatting with her before sending her back over to Dan.

“OH- the shipment is here, by the way.”

Fucking Christ, of course it comes today.

“I’ll be right there,” I shoot him a tight-lipped smile.

I look back to Melody, as I’m standing up from my desk, “I will figure this out and you will still be paid for whatever days you work even before the paperwork is submitted, okay?”

We end up talking for a few minutes before I actually make my way back into the bar. Rounding the corner, I see the next problem I have to tackle. Our entire shipment is just stacked up at the end of the hallway.

“Josh, why didn’t you tell them to just put everything in the cooler?” I look over to him as he’s drying glasses and putting them away. He doesn’t react to my question, which is weird for someone who never stops talking.

“Josh?” No response.

I walk towards him, which finally catches his eye, turning to me as he pulls out one of his headphones.

“There you are, I’ve been wa-” he starts, but I can’t stop myself from cutting in.

“Are you joking?” I snap, coming off harsher than I would like.

“What do you mean?”

I rub my eyes harder than I probably should before looking at him again, “Why didn’t you tell them to put the cases of beer in the cooler?”

“What do you mean..” he turns, seeing the shipment sitting at the end of the bar, “Oh.. oh my god.. I didn’t think they would start bringing it in until you signed for it.”

I inhale slowly, staring at him and doing my best not to lose it. It’s fine; everything will be fine. Just sign for the shipment and start moving everything. Maybe Dan won’t mind helping for a few minutes.

“It’s fine,” I grab his arm gently. 'I’m sorry. It’s not a big deal.” I turn away from him, head outside, and sign for everything. Nothing more than a ‘thanks so much, have a good one’, and then I’m back inside, ready for whatever else is going to go wrong today. If I only knew.

Thankful that Dan is at the bar talking to Josh, I quickly walk over to him,

“Where’d the girls go?”

“Mel took Iris to the car. The little lady was getting antsy,”

“Do you mind helping me get these out of the way?” He glances over, his eyes going wide, before nodding.

The two of us have spent a lot of time working together, given the shipyard and all. I think we would both agree that having someone there that we knew made the experience a bit better. It’s not the most exhilarating job you could have, but it pays well and has benefits. Which, when you’re in your early twenties, is about all you can ask for.

We both round the corner into the cooler and set everything down, just on the floor so we can organize it at some point today. Just another thing I’ll need to take care of now.

“Do you need me to work tonight?” he asks quietly.

“What? No, I already feel bad making the two of you stop by. Enjoy your day off.” I probably could use the help today but, none of this is his fault, so I’m not going to make him come in.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind, really.”

“I’m positive. I appreciate you just helping me move these, so I didn’t have to ask Josh,” we both laugh at the thought of Josh lugging cases of beer around. ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I don’t know how long I’ve been in this cooler, but I’m nearing the end of organizing and taking inventory of what we have. We probably should have done this sooner because we definitely could have used a few more things. Setting my notebook down, trying to move things around, I hear a faint, ‘Hey Jake,’ coming through the wall. I finish shifting some of the beers around to make more sense before grabbing my notebook and making my way back out to the bar.

I only make it a few steps down the hall before I hear chatter coming from the bar. That’s weird? Sliding my phone out of my pocket, it is Tuesday, right? Why is it so loud out there? Picking up my pace, I toss the notebook onto my desk in passing. Rounding the corner behind the bar, I saw a slew of faces at the bar, and most of the tables were filled.

“Uh, what the fuck is going on?” I lean into Josh so nobody can hear me.

“I have been trying to figure that out this whole time,” he whispers back, “Did you not hear me call for you?”

“No, I did, I just didn’t think it was for this.”

He looks at me, clearly scattered, “I have the bar handled,”

I just nod, hustling out to the tables one by one, taking orders. I spend most of my time behind the bar; usually Josh is the one running to tables and charming everyone who comes in.

I run drinks to each table, making sure everybody is good for a few. After what feels like the thousandth time walking behind the bar, I cave.

Jake: hey bud, is there any chance you can come help? We’re swamped and it’s just josh and i. Please I’ll pay you for real

Sam: I guess I can. Bird and Quinn wanna watch some shitty tv show anyway

Jake: youre the best

“Sam’s on his way,” I whisper to Josh as he’s pouring a fresh beer for someone.

He breathes out, “Thank God,” sliding the fresh beer across the bar. I don’t know where all of them are coming from.” The door chime rings quietly amongst the bar chatter, and the music flows from the jukebox as more people happily saunter through.

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Once Sam came in, things got a bit easier, and I only had to run drinks to people rather than bussing the tables as I was taking orders. Josh continued tending the bar. It’s absurd for a Tuesday to be this busy. Nobody has a clear answer on why they all ended up here tonight, either. I’ll take busy over a typical boring Tuesday night around here–

“Ooooooooo,” every patron of the bar collectively says in a chorus of ooo’s and ahhh’s. Looking over to Sam, who may as well have his tail between his legs, standing in front of a pile of broken glasses. Fuck.

I hustle over to him, “What happened?”

“I was just trying to save a trip, so I had a shit load of glasses, and then well.. I sorta tripped myself.”

I let out a long breath, trying not to laugh at how nervous he seems, “You and Willa really are a match made in heaven, huh?” I sneak past him and the broken glass, “Stay here. I’ll grab a broom.”

Stopping in my office quickly, order some more glasses, I scribble into my notebook.

“Here, I’ll do it,” he reaches out, taking the broom and dustpan from me. His eyebrows are still pulled together as he sets the dustpan on the chair next to him.

I grab his arm gently, “I’m not mad at you, Sam.” I squeeze his arm a few times before he squats down to clean up the mess, and I go back to running around like a headless chicken.

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It takes us a bit to get into a good flow, but between the three of us, we’ve managed. I don’t think the bar has ever been this busy during the week. Josh and I have switched so he can get out and talk to more people, which he’s definitely more comfortable doing. I found myself back behind the bar, which I feel like I can handle a bit better because it’s fewer people to focus on. Sam doing everything he can to help us keep up between bussing tables, running drinks, and washing glasses.

Tapping my phone screen, 11:45 pm glows back at me. Thank God we’re almost there. Even though I never finished the paperwork I should have, at least this night is so close to being over. I set the shaker in the sink, turning around quickly to grab a fresh napkin to put underneath the glass, when I hear ‘ope’ escape Josh loudly. Of course, not before I feel the chill of a fresh beer soaking through my pant leg.

“Sick.” I mutter, trying not to make a big deal out of it. I grab the napkin and the drink sliding them over to the customer. Nothing like wet denim.

“Jake, I’m sorry,” Josh cringes, looking over at me as he pours another beer from the tap.

I take a deep breath, fighting the urge to be angry, yet again. I grab a shot glass and whatever bottle of Whiskey my hand lands on. I poured it for myself quickly and threw it back. Grimacing at the burn it leaves in my throat.

“Drinking on the-” Josh starts, and immediately stops when I whip my head over to him with a tight-lipped smile and my eyes wide, “Carry on!” he backs off slowly.

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The night goes on, my beer-soaked jeans and all. People start filtering out around midnight, which is pretty typical. We get mild enjoyment from watching the drunk girls try to walk on the cobblestone just across the street from us, which at this rate, might be the best thing to happen to me today. The three of us have a laugh together as we watch someone have to catch their girlfriend mid-fall when we hear the worst possible sound at 12:35am.

‘What the fuck did you just say to me?’ cuts through everyone’s chatter.

Stopping me in my tracks. Why does that voice sound familiar? I start walking towards the sound to realize who it is. Shit, shit, shit. Why didn’t I take Dan up on working tonight? I look at Josh, mouthing, ‘You stay here.’

Another loud ‘You motherfucker’ caused more people to look.

Weaving between people who naturally have stood up to see what’s going on. For fucks sake, this would happen. Letting out a quiet “excuse me, sorry” as I nudge my way through, I manage to make it to the problem just as another good contact punch was thrown. Fucking Craig.

“Are you fucking joking?” I ask louder than usual. He turns to face me, and I can tell he’s realized he was caught.

“Excuse me?” the bigger one spits out.

“Why are you in my bar, Greg?” I laugh, watching blood slowly leak from his nose.

“It’s Craig,”

“I don’t care, why are you here?”

“I mean I just-“

“You just what? You just came here to start shit in my bar? AGAIN?” My voice slowly rose; the pent-up anger from today started to seep out.

I grab his shirt as I get closer to him, the blood from his nose creeping over his mouth.

“I told you to stay out of here, and you disrespected me this time,” I ball up his shirt in my fist tighter, “now leave, you piece of shit.” Shoving him towards the door, he stumbles into a table.

He makes his way to the door, turning back to me, “Yeah, well, fuck you and your brother!” hollering as he walks out into the night.

“How will I ever recover?” I laugh to myself.

I look over to the guy who punched Craig, where Sam is already stood in front of him.

“Jeff, right?”

Oh, Sammy boy I’ll let you have this one.

“Uhh-“

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave..” Sam tells him, grabbing his arm and gesturing to the door.

“Why do I have to leave? He started it?”

The grimace on Sam's face at his rebuttal making me laugh before he spits out, “Yeaahhh… and you punched him so.. I think it’s obvious,”

“So.. you like getting in bar fights AND ditching women on dates?” Sam asks.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re a real stand-up guy, Jeff,” Sam says, the sarcasm alone should sober him up enough to drive. I watch as Sam opens the door and pushes him through, turning to me with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“God, that felt good. I knew that dude was a prick,” he barks out a laugh.

Spending a couple minutes mingling amongst the tables who were close to the action, making sure everybody is okay and apologizing for the unfortunate disturbance. Grateful that nobody was truly upset, and honestly, they kept applauding me for taking care of it. Maybe I’m actually okay at this? I hadn’t really needed to break up many fights here since we opened, because Dan usually gets people out before it starts.

I walk up behind Josh, leaning close to him so only he can hear, “I doubt he’ll ever try to come back now.”

His face turned towards me, “Did he actually get hit?”

“Oh, absolutely. His nose was probably broken.”

His smile grows, “He deserved that.”

“Yeah he did,” I laughed because nobody deserved it more than him.

The rest of the night went smoothly. Everybody started filtering out, and we were down to just a handful by 1:45 am. Grateful they had all already paid, they were heading towards the door by the time good ole Bob began to play through the speakers. I don’t know if that’s offensive to Bob or if they can tell we want to go home.

We only spent a few minutes cleaning up before I told Sam to go home. Promising him, I would send him money as soon as I finished up here and locked the front door behind him.

“Let’s finish this tomorrow, Bub,” I tell him as I’m walking back over to the bar, “It’s been a long enough day.”

I’ve never seen someone drop what they’re doing faster. Throwing the cleaning rag under the bar and grabbing his phone, I watch him hustle to the back door. It’s hard not to laugh at it, maybe it’s the exhaustion. Shutting all the lights off as I walk through and locking up the bar, we’re finally free. The paperwork will be a future me problem.

“Tomorrow’s a new day,” Josh says quietly, squeezing my shoulder as we walk into the stairwell.

I take a deep breath, letting it out with a, “You’re right.”

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We quietly get into the apartment. Considering the night we both endured, we don’t really say much past ‘goodnight’. I fall back into my bed, just staring at the ceiling for a few minutes. First thing tomorrow, I’ll get those forms filled out. I just need to focus. Today was a mess, so maybe a fresh set of eyes will help.

Tossing my jeans that smell horrendous at the pile of dirty laundry as I make myself more comfortable. Scrolling through my phone for a minute to try and decompress from the day, my stomach drops.

‘People you may know..’ on Instagram will always haunt me, full of people I went to high school with that I no longer talk to. This time though feels like torture.

‘Charlotte Rhodes’ sits there for a second before my curiosity gets the best of me. I tap on her name, revealing that her account is private. I should have known; she seemed fairly reserved, but I couldn’t resist clicking on her profile picture.

Her loose red waves pass her shoulders, her freckles on display. This must be from summer, and she looks like she’s been in the sun. The way she is laughing; her smile is so big. The green of her eyes peeks through even if she’s squinting. Whoever took this photo is lucky to have her look at them like this.

I linger on her photo for longer than I should admit, but lord have mercy, she is beautiful. ‘You really run a tight ship around here, huh?’ plays in my head. My heart feels weird thinking about it. I know I’m probably overthinking it, but in my head, that was her way of subtly flirting. Even if I promptly made a fool of myself after. The boys will never let that one go, either. My eyes start to feel heavy, and I toss my phone onto my nightstand. I lay there in the dark, closing my eyes and hoping to fall asleep soon. But my mind won’t ease up; all I can think of is her.

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Chapter Two

FDOG Masterlist | Masterlist | FDOG Playlist

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coochiekrab · 25 days

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how did kuri manage to unfrizz her hair for the wedding, and how come she maintains her hair better in her older years?

one day in her life shes not responsible for her own appearance

#kuri cuts her hair when shes older #which makes taking care of it a little easier #my art #kuri #chihiro #i think she has her own tag but idk #and i can never remember aubreys sisters name #i think its #addy #well i know its addy but i dont know if its addison or adelaide

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giantkillerjack · 11 days

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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

#social skills #i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag #original #maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title #in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am #challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment #for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the #most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than #most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny #(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by #being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating #i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate #I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to #really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would #go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people #it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them #stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in #order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially #autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules #and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules #but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too

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ff2-soda-pop · 4 months

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I'm starting to question if I should even bother with the stupid paper.... I'm probably just gonna fail anyways lmao

#ive been running around stuck on Babysitter Duty for the past three days and the teacher only gave us any instructions on thursday yet #somehow expected a full paper done and edited by sunday. even if i wasnt stuck on babysitter duty she'd get a shitty paper just due to how #little TIME that is to get things done. but because i am on babysitter duty uhhh..... well so far there's no paper #ive been spending practically full days having to take care of my sister and i cant just Ignore Her so i havent done my paper while watchin #her because again: my focus needs to be on Her. and shes incredibly loud which makes it super hard to focus. fun combo /s #so i was like 'i'll just stay up Really Late and do it then' but that hasn't worked because my sister WONT GO TO BED if im awake. i was up #until 4am last night hoping she'd fall asleep and shut up and i could work but Nope!#and then i got too tired to even care anymore #i've tried explaining this to others and they're just like 'ok well you just need to find a way to make it work :/' which is very much #easier said than done! and im scared about this paper because this teacher doesnt accept late work at all for pretty much any reason #and im sure she wont understand my situation. because shes also the teacher that didnt understand that i didnt have the textbook on time #because it was still being shipped and i dont control the rate at which book ships and she was like #'..........okay well you still need to have the book by tomorrow at least <3' when i told her the book had Just shipped and idk when i'd ge #the dumb thing. so yknow i dont have high hopes about this #also just as extra 'make stuff more difficult' i have zero accommodations because my mom cant keep track of my fucking IEPs and they wont #let me have accommodations unless i have that and idk how to get a copy anymore. so i've also been running around with no help in that area #and it's not great </3 #idk im just stressed out and frustrated and i Want To Cry :)#vent

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dandyshucks · 1 month

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need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭

I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO

#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl #i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads #but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice''#practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl #it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits #and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot #but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road #i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH.#he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit #and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ????#also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl #and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper #its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ???#ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town #and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times #MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL #im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord #IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING #i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think #so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly #during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone #but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us #so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl #AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM #driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl #after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad #but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl #dandy.cmd #vent //

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maschotch · 2 years

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#he's so cute in this seminar #you only really see it when he's with rossi #but hes so quiet. not timid.... not quite shy (a little bit that).....#he just doesnt force himself to maintain that severe demeanor #he's reserved.. he doesn't need to be the one who speaks or maintains authority #which is why he doesnt do it with the others--he doesnt want them to see him as anything other than The Boss.#makes it easier for them #(not that it works all the time. he lets things slip. he cant help but care too deeply)#this is just a smaller less noticeable aspect of it #he's good at being the boss and he likes to have control - but its also tiring for him #the rest of it--the responsibility the hostility the commanding air--just bc he's good at it doesnt mean he's like that #(just bc he's good at being violent and cruel in interrogations doesnt mean thats who he is)#hes modest and humble--it takes effort to be anything else #and thats what he can do around rossi--bc he knew him as a subordinate before a superior #its nothing he hasnt seen already #so he's quiet. takes the backseat. he can let rossi speak first. he doesnt have to push himself #anyway.#i love it when he's like this #3x18 #aaron hotchner #cm caps

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lisbonsteresa · 1 year

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spiraling again

#OOOOH it's just #part of her has just been flat out avoiding telling him; having that conversation with him because she doesn't know where it would go #'you know damn well why i couldn't tell you...it's hard' TERESA PLEASE #and part of her might have honestly assumed he DID know - he's always seemed to know everything about everyone; about her #and if she can assume (pretend) that he knows and he's just not bringing it up then he must not really care all that much #he must be ok with the idea of her leaving and that makes her decision just a little bit easier #that takes the burden of having the conversation off her; she doesn't have to worry about what he'd say #because she can pretend she already knows #(which is just crazy but my girl is going through a lot right now i'm more than ok with giving her all of the benefit of the doubt)#and now she's got to deal with the reality that him not knowing adds a massive wrinkle to any of her planning #if she tells him and he says don't go what does she do with that; what does that mean; how does she respond #and on the other hand if he says go....would he really say that; would he just be ok with letting her go after he just got her back #which possibility is better; which is worse; which way is the one she should take when both are terrifying #i'm going just as crazy as the first time send help #tm

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holyshit · 2 years

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#harry fan anon #finally here! hello!#yeah i get that :/ it's rough trying to enjoy your fandom experience only to have outside forces make it unbearable sometimes #especially with this kind of discourse which is so... draining and ugly and often personal feeling for a lot of people #and even when you actively try to avoid the discourse- it is still so pervasive that you end up seeing it anyway #don't be embarrassed at all- this fandom IS draining and it totally makes sense if you need to take a step back #it is unfortunate that it has to be this way since fandom is supposed to be fun and shouldn't be like this but 100% understand needing to #step back for your own sake #because a fandom is never worth your peace of mind and your happiness #i cut out everything related to 1d in 2016 for like 4-5 years because it was making me feel so awful and it was entirely worth it #gave me perspective and helped me find the joy in it again when i came back #obviously you don't have to go on a multi year break like i did lol even just a couple weeks can make a huge difference #it makes you remember what's important and realize the parts of fandom you can live without #my main recommendation for stepping back is to pour that extra energy into another hobby or interest you've been neglecting #or pick up something new #as soon as you have something else to focus on you'll find it easier to detach emotionally #when so much of your mind is wrapped up in one thing without any distractions it is much easier to invest to much of yourself into that one #thing at the detriment of your peace of mind #the little lovely corner of fandom you carved out for yourself will be here when you get back!#and never feel embarrassed for feeling things deeply- it's a lovely quality! just remember to take care of yourself #asks #anonymous

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fairy-angel222 · 2 months

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𝐒𝐈𝐗 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 ft Gojo Satoru

— Six years. He’s loved you for six years. He was too young back then but now he’s not. And he plans on showing you that.

᧔♡᧓ Semi Yandere! Gojo x Fem! Reader

᧔♡᧓ Content: age gap (gojo’s 21 n reader is 27), obsessive behavior, smut, pussy eating, porn with some plot, cheating while in talking stage, petnames, praise, breeding, baby trapping, manipulation, gaslighting

᧔♡᧓ A/n: reader always saw gojo as a brother since he was so young, and never really developed feelings for him. it was just lust taking over when they fucked

Six years of friendship with your current best friend. Six years in which her little brother Gojo has had a crush on you. Six years of you only cooing with a giggle as you ruffled his fluffy white head of hair before calling his doting nature cute.

Six years.

Six years that he’s waited for you, becoming more of a man for you. Working out, gaining experience. It was all for you.

You’re twenty seven now, barely any different since the first time he met you. Your soft features still as beautiful as ever and your body just as perfect as he remembered. He’s studied you over the years. Every single time you came over. Studied your patterns, your every move, your likes, your dislikes, he’d even gotten to know your type.

He’d loved you since he was fifteen.

But he’s not a little kid anymore. He’s grown. Twenty one years old. Mature enough to be yours, to take care of you. He deserved you after waiting for so long. And he would show you. Show you that you needed him just as bad, craved him as much as he craved you. He’s the one for you, you just had to open your eyes and see that.

Gojo knows you feel at least a slight bit of attraction towards him. Hell, you’d called him handsome so many times— even though it had been strictly platonic— that you have to had felt something.. right?

On his eighteenth birthday you were there with him, his friends and his sister. He’d even brought a girl, introducing her as his girlfriend to try for a reaction out of you. But you didn’t bat an eye, you were genuinely happy for him. It made his jaw clench, but he was reminded of why he loved you. You were so sweet and caring. A big smile on your face as you embraced him in a hug, giving him the present that you’d been so excited to get. It was something that he had wanted for a while. A part of you saw him and his sister as the siblings you’d never had.

He didn’t need your gift, of course. He had enough money to buy anything he wanted. But it being from you made it special.. so so very special. Especially since you had listened to him. And it was his turn to return the favor. The random expensive gifts never stopped, every time you came over for the next three years it seemed that there was always something wrapped and waiting for you. Somethings just never change, you thought to yourself, piecing together that the boy’s crush had never left.

Then his gifts started getting more and more.. well, whatever you’d consider those matching lace sets that were accompanied a little note that made you swallow hard. Followed up by short dresses and eventually fancy shoes and purses to match. Not to mention the collection of jewelry you’d gotten from him.

Then he was.. less subtle, sending small smirks and winks your way. Finding any excuse just to be next to you or let his hands innocently wander during a hug.

You were not going to tell his sister. You didn’t want there to be any problems between them. You also couldn’t just start coming over less, she was like family to you. So you let his harmless crush continue.

…

Gojo swears luck was on his side, the universe wanting to make things easier for him. You had a boyfriend, a guy you worked with who was a good five years older than you. Like he said, you had a type, and he checked out none of these boxes. He knew everything about the dude, and he knew that he was not good enough for you. He tried to warn you, but what did you do? You smiled at what you took as him being worried about your well being.

So when you came knocking on his front door, flinging yourself into his sister’s arms as you cried into her shoulder. He knew. That asshole had broken your heart. He’d deal with it. He’d truly make the guy regret hurting you.

You were at his house all week, falling into the stage of the break up where you sat in your room (with their house so big you were bound to have one if your own) watching tv with a tub of ice cream and a string of adorable laughter. Anything to take your mind off the sting in your chest.

Then you were out. Everywhere. Going to clubs and parties with his sister just as you two did when you were a little younger. It was reckless, what if you got hurt? What is someone tried something? You were a sight for sore eyes after all. He would make sure to never let that happen. It was why he always accompanied you, whether you were aware of it or not. It was no surprise that you were never able to get laid, despite all the ogling eyes set on you.

…

Gojo leaned against the bathroom’s door frame as you emptied your stomach’s contents into the toilet in front of you. Small moans of displeasure filling the room as your body slumped against it. After math of a night full of drinking.

His arms were folded across his chest, muscles bulging through the tight black fabric which was paired with grey sweats which hung lowly on his hips. Gojo chuckled, pushing himself to stand straight before walking over to you. Stooping down to your current height with the shake of his head. “You should know better than this baby.”

Your brows furrowed, opening your mouth to question him before your head was over the bowl once more. Tears welling in your eyes at the massive headache that had sprung to life. “Shh shh shh baby.” He whispered, “let it all out, you’ll feel better soon.” He soothed, pushing stray strands away from your sweaty forehead while stroking softly at your hair. Whispering little words of encouragement as he held you, smiling sadly when the hug caused you to break down in his arms. No doubt reminding you of your recent breakup.

“Here, i brought you some panadol.” He reached for the two pills and the cup of water on the counter. Letting you sit with your back against his chest as he guided them up to your mouth, bringing the cup to your lips right after. “Here, drink it all okay?” You nodded, swallowing down the water along with the pain relievers. Gojo’s lips pressing softly to your head as he continued to stroke your skin.

You’d fallen asleep. And he’d laid you down on his bed instead of yours. Tucking you in and leaving you to rest.

Downstairs he found his sister, an empty cup sat in front of her along with the pill bottle. She’d clearly been hungover too. “Where is she?”

Gojo gave her a knowing look. “She’s sleeping.”

“Where?”

“My room.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing, not liking the way she was watching him. Was she really that selfish over her best friend.

“Satoru.. she’s twenty seven. You need to get over this stupid little crush of yours and go find someone your own age. She doesn’t want you, she never will.”

Gojo seethed, fists already at his side as he stared angrily at his sister. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Satoru come on-“

“No.” His voice was firm, he didn’t look angry anymore, he looked hurt. “Just.. shut up, please.” A part of him knew that maybe he’d just never be enough for you.

…

Making his way back upstairs Gojo had a plate of pancakes, bacon and eggs along with a glass of hot tea. He walked into his room to find your eyes only just fluttering open with the small stretch of your body. Blinking your eyes to adjust to the bright light while taking in your surroundings, realizing immediately where you were, and who was standing at the door.

“Oh.. Satoru, hi.” Your voice was timid, embarrassed to have been seen in your drunken state by the boy.

“Hey, how’s your head? I brought you breakfast.” He set the food down near the bed before taking a seat next to you. Allowing his fingers to play with the fallen hair from your bun.

“T-thanks.” You nodded, shifting to sit up before grabbing a strip of the crispy meat.

He wouldn’t stop staring at you, couldn’t stop staring at you. And you smiled in his direction, “thanks a lot, i should really get back to my room though.”

He shrugged, “or you could just stay, it’s not like we’re doing anything.” He grinned. “Yet.”

You couldn’t help the way your cheeks heated up at that statement. “It’s okay, i think i’ll just-“

“Stay. Come on, don’t be like that. I’ll even put on your favorite.” Reaching for the remote to search for your favorite show. You bit your lip nervously, not understanding how he could act so normal after all the inappropriate gifts and advances.

His smile never faltered as his hand ‘accidentally’ found yours, slipping his fingers into your own. Not allowing you to let go even if you tried.

…

The next few days were.. good. Gojo had assumed that everything was going well. They were going well, until you decided to ruin everything.

Toji Fushiguro.

A forty something year old man with two children. That’s who you were talking to. Gojo didn’t appreciate how hard you making things for him. You were supposed to be his and he was supposed to be yours.

He was tired of waiting for you to come to him, so he went to you. Knocking on your door with vigor and a small scowl. When the door swung open you were mid-laugh, Toji coming into view behind you with a glass of champagne in hand.

“Seriously? You’ve been ignoring us for him? Him?” Gojo accused pointedly, “My sister misses you, she’s been crying. A lot. Says you’re choosing a guy over your friendship.”

His jaw was hard as he fed you lies through his teeth. Watching your eyes widen as you pondered. Were you ignoring your best friend? You’d seen her just earlier today. You guys had hung out, gone for lunch. Talked about who you both liked with big smiles and non stop giggles. It didn’t feel like anything had changed. “I.. I didn’t realize- i’m sorry.” You didn’t know what to say, it made zero sense. But why would he lie?

Gojo silently cheered as you sadly asked Toji to leave. Giving him a small kiss on the cheek and promising to call him tomorrow. He was not very happy about the last part, but at least he was alone with you.

As soon as he left Gojo marched into your apartment. Nearly falling over his two feet when the scent hit him. Your scent, stronger than ever, that sweet strawberry smell that he’d grown to love.

“Satoru, i didn’t-”

He couldn’t help himself, he really couldn’t. “It’s okay I forgive you.” Turning around for his hand to snake to the back of your neck, heart rate speeding up as he crashed his lips onto yours.

You whimpered in surprise, Gojo controlling the kiss as he backed you up against a wall. His lips quickly traveling down to your neck in desperation. “You know, i’ve waited so long. So fucking long. Waited for you. For us. I’ve given you everything, i’ve done everything. But it’s just never enough is it? You’re just too ungrateful huh baby?”

You moaned loudly. “Satoru.. what are you.. hmm.”

“I’m taking what’s mine baby. Taking what i deserve. I’m not a little boy anymore. I’m a man. I can take care of you.” His lips moved with force, sucking harshly at your skin as he kissed down your chest, free hand roaming to your ass with a squeeze. “I’m old enough to be yours. This isn’t just some crush anymore. I fucking love you.”

You could feel your heart pounding as he uttered the words you wished he hadn’t. “Satoru we can’t.. your sister’s my best friend. I’m still older than you.”

“She’ll get over it.” He breathed, making quick work of your tank top that clung deliciously to your tits. “We’re both consenting adults now aren’t we. If you tell me to stop, i’ll stop.”

Your mouth went dry, lips parting to demand him to go but you couldn’t. You didn’t want him too. What was wrong with you?

“So what will it be baby? Stop? Or don’t stop?”

“Don’t stop..” You mumbled in shame, avoiding his eyes as you looked away. Gojo’s fingers dug into your cheeks, forcing you to turn back to face him.

“What was that? I didn’t quite hear you.”

“I said, don’t stop.” You said a little louder, cheeks burning up under his touch.

“Good girl. I knew you were playing hard to get.” He grinned, “You love the chase as much as i do.”

Gojo’s arms hooked under your thighs, lifting you onto him before reattaching your lips. Carrying you to your bedroom to drop you onto the sheets. Lips never leaving yours as you both hurriedly undressed. He was addicted to you, and having you set fire to his veins. This was all he’d ever wanted.

Gojo dropped to his knees before you, kissing lightly at your pussy before enclosing it with his mouth. Tongue lapping you up hungrily as you moaned, fingers finding his hair with a tremble.

“Satoru— feels so good, haah.” You breathed, Gojo burying his face between your legs with a tight grip on your thighs. Allowing your legs to wrap around his neck as he devoured your sopping heat. You were so sweet— just like everything else about you. And he couldn’t help but rut against nothing as more blood rushed to his cock. Finding pleasure in getting to taste you after years of jerking off to the image.

He’s seen your room more than you, always snatching a pair of anything he could find. Just to be able to hold you in any way or form. Feel you on his skin. Touch something that had already touched you.

Gojo pulled away with his face glistening, “Learned how to do this just for you baby. Wanted to be good for our first time.” He smiled lazily, eyes dark with need as he got back to work, sending muffled groans into your bundle of nerves while you mewled loudly. Back arching with the curl of your toes before trying to pull away.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Gojo growled lowly, fingers digging painlessly into your flesh as he pulled you impossibly closer, tongue flicking at your clit before his lips closed around it. Sucking and swirling the sensitive bud into his mouth with a satisfied hum. All while you cried out above him, moans getting louder each time you called out his name.

It was like music. The sweetest song ever. Hearing you moan for him, moan out of pleasure, need, lust. Knowing that it was him making you feel so good. He almost came right there, determined to give you the best orgasm of your life with just his tongue. You tugged at his strands, your vision blurred in the nearing of your high.

“Satoru— o-oh fuck Satoru, ‘m gonna cum. Nngh, you’re gonna make me cum.” You moaned noisily, lewd slurps and sloppily kisses filling your ears as he made out with your wet pussy.

Gojo loved how much you were squirming, your legs tightening around his neck as you screamed. You actually screamed. He made you scream. His tongue was awaiting when you began to shake, toes curled and eyes rolled back as you squirted nonstop. The clear liquid gushing onto his face and tongue in long streams.

You whined at the overstimulation when he licked a stripe up your pussy. Collecting every last bit of your sweetness before standing up. You were panting, hard. And Gojo felt accomplished as he smirked. “Has any older man ever made you cum this hard baby?”

Your head was dizzy, trying to bring yourself back down to earth as you blinked up at him with the shake of your head.

He scoffed in pride, “Now try telling me that i’m too young for you now.”

Gojo was quick to lay you flat on the bed and crawl in on top of you. Consequences of your latest activities still fresh on his chin and chest. There were so many positions he wanted to take you in, but first he wanted to see you fall apart under him. See your face contort into one of pure bliss when he started pounding into you.

“You ready for me?” He husked, impressive cock already swiping up and down your slick filled folds. You nodded, looking up at him through your lashes with parted lips. “Ready.”

You both shared a drawn out moan when he nestled his cock past your tight entrance. Feeling him graze your gummy walls before reaching deep within you.

You felt so good, so tight.. warm. And he felt so deep, so big.. perfect.

“This pussy was made for me.” He grunted with a loud groan, slowly speeding up his pace till he was fucking into you with no end. Hips snapping into yours as his cock kissed your spot, prodding at your cervix with every hard thrust. “Fuck- look at how well you’re taking me. Fucking swallowing me all the way in.”

You only moaned in response, teary eyes meeting his sinful ones as he molded you around his cock. Making sure that you knew nothing but the shape of him, the feel of him, when you were done.

Letting out the whiniest cry, your arms reached up around his shoulders, clawing at his skin when you felt your stomach tighten.

You could feel him so deep, the roll of his hips allowing his fat tip to curl up and kiss exactly where you needed it most. The fast pace pulling short screams past your swollen lips.

“Satoru— haah, you’re so deep. I love it s’ much Toru. So m-much— ahh.” You couldn’t think straight, your brain only registering the way he was sliding in and out of you. It was all you could think about in that moment l, the way he felt.

Gojo watched you fall apart, just like he wanted. Your glossy eyes closing as your head fell further into the pillow, unable to control your noises as you got closer and closer.

“You don’t know how hot you look right now. I love seeing you like this. All for me.” His voice cracked, cock twitching in an aching cry to get its release.

“S-satoru, ‘m so close. Gonna cum again.” You choked out, nails piercing into his broad back as your hands roamed down.

“Yeah? Gonna make a mess f’ me again hmm? All that denying me, making me feel like our love was one sided. You put me through a lot you know.” He shook his head. “If only you knew the lengths i’d go for you.”

His eyes were crazed, and a shiver raked through your body at his words, whimpering as you succumbed to the building pleasure with a mewl. “O-oh fuckk.”

“Nuh uh, baby. Apologize to me first then you cum.” His tone was firm, serious. He wanted to hear you say it.

“Ahh, ‘m sorry Satoru— ‘m so so sorry. You’re goid enough f’ me. Mature enough. You’re perfect. Please let me cum. I need to cum.” You cried, the man on top of you pretending to ponder your words which went straight to his cock before smiling darkly. “Go ahead baby, cum for me.”

Your body shook as you yelled out his name, your surroundings becoming blank when you began to squirt messily, again. The intense orgasm seeming to stun all of your body’s systems as you failed to come back down. Gojo’s continued thrusts keeping pleasure flowing through your sensitive body.

“I love you so much baby. I always did. It makes me so happy that we can finally be together. Fuckk— ‘m all yours. All yours.” He buried his face in your neck, his own eyes closing shut as his body trembled, stilling inside your warmth before you felt his cum pumping into you in spurts. The thick substance coating your every wall in white.

“And now you’re mine.” He didn’t pull out, staying buried inside you in hopes of you two being connected forever. There was one thing he knew and you forgot. You hadn’t taken your birth control in a while, and a part of him hoped that you had seen this coming. That you wanted it. But one thing remained true either way, he was never letting you go.

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