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#which ive already talked about .
obsob · 1 year
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here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud!!
✷(print shop)✷
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kithj · 1 month
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IM THE PERSON WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT THINGS HAVE GOTTEN WORSE SINCE WE LAST SPOKE A FEW DAYS AGO And i agree about how sad it is that most queer horror authors i dont vibe with. do you have any you DO like? im always on the lookout for more and from what i’ve seen of your book taste on here we have pretty similar taste in books. can be any genre of horror tbh im not picky
hehehe yes i'd love to give u some recommendations! though if i'm being honest i really haven't found that many authors in the genre that i really vibe with yet. im still on the hunt... may leitz is probably the only one i can recommend that is kinda in the same vein as the "popular" ones, but Leitz is someone who i think does well balancing the extreme aspects of it with characters that are actually interesting and sympathetic to read (as opposed to just one-dimensional cannon fodder for random violence)
i don't know if any of these authors actually refer to themselves as "queer horror" authors nor do i know with certainty if all of them are a part of the lgbt community, but um. well i like their books. these also all aren't strictly about the characters identity; some focus more on it than others so i'll just say it's horror + lgbt characters.
i'll start with extreme horror:
fluids by may leitz - this will be the most extreme book i recommend, and i've talked about it a few times before. it's about two women, named Dahlia and Lauren, who meet on tinder during the pandemic, and after only a few days of talking Lauren takes it upon herself to drive to Dahlia's hometown and try and "save" her. things escalate, and the two women's paths diverge. cw: extreme violence and gore, rape, incest (the two girls pretend to be related), emetophobia, suicide, eating disorder, murder, literally everything you can think of. this is Extreme Horror, and i wouldn't recommend this one for anyone that's not already familiar with the genre.
girl flesh by may leitz - while i didn't like this one as much as fluids, i'm just a fan of may leitz's writing in general so i'd still recommend it. this one has a bit of a pacing problem & does a lot of telling rather than showing, but i like the direction leitz takes this one in the end. i've talked about this one before too so you might remember me rambling about it. this one is about two women who are kidnapped and wake up restrained in a dirty hotel in the middle of the texas mesa. they work together to escape their captors as well as the wild mesa and maybe even fall in love a little bit on the way. cw: extreme violence, gore, transphobia/deadnaming, eating disorder, emetophobia, self-harm, rape. this one isn't as extreme as fluids but i'd still be cautious with it.
to be devoured by sara tantlinger - this one is a short novella you can read in one sitting. Andi really really really wants to know what carrion tastes like. she's fascinated by the vultures that circle the edge of her property, but her fascination soon turns to obsession, and Andi will stop at nothing to learn their secrets. cw: blood consumption, cannibalism, violence and gore, very graphic animal harm and animal death
okay now the rest are just more general horror:
house of hunger by alexis henderson - loosely based on the legend of Elizabeth of Bathory, this story takes place in a society that runs on blood. Marion travels to the House of Hunger to begin her term as a bloodmaid under Countess Lisavet, who has a mysterious ailment that renders her weak and bedbound unless she has a constant flow of blood to treat it. Marion gets to know the other bloodmaids, and in time begins to realize not all is as it seems at the House of Hunger. cw: blood consumption, violence, abusive relationships/gaslighting, death
alexis henderson has also written the year of the witching, and she just announced an academy for liars. i really like her writing so i plan to check out her other work soon-ish.
apparitions by adam pottle - again i talked about this one recently so you may have seen it already, but i NEED more people to read this book. this follows the story of a young man who was born deaf and raised in an abusive household until he was able to escape as a teenager, only to be institutionalized immediately after. there he meets another deaf teen, and for the first time in his life, he has a language that he can speak with and can finally be understood. cw: child abuse, institutionalization, homophobia, abusive relationship, ableism, violence, death, religious trauma, animal harm and animal death.
the luminous dead by caitlin starling - gyre price is a lone caver swaddled inside a hi-tech suit that allows her to dive deep underground to map mineral deposits off-planet. however, the person on the other end of the suit has other plans, and easily takes control of gyre and her suit, putting the two at odds with each other as gyre spirals into uncertainty and paranoia while also having to deal with the terrifying presence of the tunneler. cw: claustrophobia, death, forced drugging, violence, gore, abusive/toxic relationship
caitlin starling also has a few other books though i haven't gotten around to reading them yet and i honestly haven't heard much about them so i can't say how they compare, but the luminous dead is one of my favorites of all time.
the Sworn Soldier series by T. Kingfisher - i love these books, they're just short fun horror stories with a really charming main character. Alex Easton is a retired soldier from Gallacia, and has their own special pronouns in Gallacian (kan/kanself) as part of their occupation and culture, and is what we would consider nonbinary (not all soldiers identify this way, but Alex does). vicars in Gallacia use van/vanself, there are different pronouns for children and adults, etc. i think it's just really interesting and i enjoy what the author has done with the worldbuilding and language, and how seamlessly it fits into her writing. the first book is a retelling of the fall of the house of usher (and is the stronger of the two) while the second one has Alex returning home to Gallacia and facing off with an old Gallacian superstition that's haunting their family cottage.
again i don't really know how T. Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon personally identifies but i do recommend her writing regardless, she's written other horror books as well as some fantasy books & she's just incredibly skilled imo, easy and fun to read.
most of my TBR that i'm working towards is horror so maybe i'll update this post later with more.... i'm currently reading providence girls by morgan dante and into the drowning deep by mira grant.
morgan dante has a few other books that are all some flavor of gothic horror/romance and i'm very excited for their new book that just came out TODAY that's a carmilla/elizabeth of bathory reimagining. i'm planning on reading that Immediately (i preordered it) so i'll report back for it and once i finish providence girls, too.
the next few books on my TBR that are all lgbt + horror:
The Seep by Chana Porter
Thirst by Marina Yuszczuk
A Dowry of Blood & An Education in Malice, both by S.T. Gibson
Little Rot by Akwaeke Emezi (i think this one is a thriller actually and also isnt out yet but whatever. i recommend this author, they genre-hop a lot & have a decent amount of work published already)
Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon
and of course i always recommend looking up content warnings if you need to especially for the last few since i haven't read them myself and can't vouch for them just yet. but ummm hopefully you see something you like 😭 i'll stop yapping <3
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queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me
since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.
(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)
harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.
harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.
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louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around
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the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!
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louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.
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the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”
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louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'
harry flirting with stanley tucci
louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!
all along
harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc
rainbow flare during the btm mv
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harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes
28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!
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kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing
harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?
harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)
louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling
harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."
louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour
harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket
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louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel
harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)
louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival
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harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."
continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here
harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel
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louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar
harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)
harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23
the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals
harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally
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as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.
louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it
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oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too
harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped
that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????
harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up
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louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks
harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex
harry dressed in skirts for gucci
"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"
"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"
satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt
louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????
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harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits
harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol
and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.
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juniemunie · 1 year
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TEST DRIVE TEST DRIVE TEST DRI-
I have so many thoughts about this entire sequence, from the way Hiccup and Toothless get along to the MUSIC- (the music analysis is going to my tags)
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But im gonna talk about Toothless pov again
I always think of this is like, the forbidden friendship scene for Toothless the way the actual forbidden friendship was for Hiccup
If Hiccup's scene was Toothless connecting to Hiccup through human things (sharing food, smiling, art and all that)
Then this scene is Toothless' because Hiccup connects with Toothless through flying, something I've always headcanoned to be what dragons (the ones that fly anyway) need not just to survive, but to live and bond with others.
if Hiccup's FF is the beginning of the potential then Toothless' FF is the "end", the moment where the potential is found and fulfilled, the thing that really solidifies their friendship because both has now experienced and accepted the other's unique sides
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Just, yeah Toothless sees Hiccup just getting it, understanding why flying is so wonderful, hearing him cheer and whoop in joy like a fledgling's first time in the air, and seeing him at the end instinctively understand what to do-
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Like that sudden spin near the end of the sea pillars- and both of them looked surprised they even managed to do that together instinctively- when just a few minutes ago Hiccup couldnt even dodge the two very obvious sea pillars in the beginning
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He looks up at this human, this strange clever, brilliant little human who has somehow made this even possible, who has broken every preconception he has, who is now flying with him with a dragon's instinct but baring his teeth in that human way of expressing joy, screaming something he could not parse perfectly in his dragon tongue but understood the meaning all the same.
"We did it."
#they did it. they achieved what they thought was impossible but together they reached it#the line can apply to a lot of things so ill let you think about it#i totally didnt get that 'we' thing from a fanfic COUGH#httyd#httyd movies#junie art post#can u tell ive gone insane#this was supposed to be a short caption but ive gotten carried away#toothless the dragon#toothless#hiccup horrendous haddock lll#hiccup#NOW. FOR THE MUSIC.#most of the analysis is already talked well by sideways and phoebe-kate so ill talk about my headcanons and interpretations#toothless' theme always repeats over and over. not ever really having a satisfying conclusion which ive always thought of as a silent show#that toothless was never really happy or content with his life before since he lived a dangerous and monotonous life of serving the queen#sure in exchange for his servitude he was given shelter to a place no viking can reach but he would never call it home.#he most likely wanted out of that sitaution. wanted something new and he got that rather violently through hiccup#now lets talk about hiccups theme. his theme is beautiful and sounds complete. but in the beginning you barely if ever notice his theme#unless youre really looking for it. his theme plays quite subtly and softly. showing how hiccup wants to be seen but he never is#at the start his theme plays after berk's which makes it sound as if hes following them. he isnt the same as berk but he tries to be#FF comes and hiccup and toothless connect both on screen and music. see you tomorrow has hiccups theme play clearly & confidently for once#test drive comes and toothless takes the lead- hiccup following right after him. it sounds amazing but theyre still not quite there yet#then the sea pillars moment and toothless theme plays twice waiting for hiccup's theme to jump in- to let go#and when hiccup does let go his theme jumps right after toothless' fitting perfectly and toothless' lets hiccup theme take center stage#its loud & beautiful and you get to hear it so clearly it takes your breath away and it ends with toothless theme finally reaching an end#they completed each other both musically and in character#they broke the rules of the world and are neither berk's theme or the dragon's they are two parts creating something new and beautiful#they completed their theme bros thats their theme its not berks or the dragons its their very own#okay im done i dont know if i got this across right i hope yall at least get the gist of my insane rambling
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thinking about when okouchi said that suzaku and lelouch were two people who would “meet, get closer, separate, then yearn for each other”
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ra-vio · 9 months
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Kainé, my beloved u_u
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nonomives · 1 year
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The primal urges to do 3 aus at the same time
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moonshynecybin · 3 months
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I think a lot about how vale would rather k*ll himself than cry in front of a camera, like nobody ever saw that man shedding a tear. he really wants to be THAT though guy 🤨
i get it thoughhhhhh!!!!!!! like imagine EVERY aspect of your life since you were literally a TEENAGER has been exposed to the public for consumption and interpretation and worship and ridicule!!!! imagine loving the place you're from SO much, but refusing to live there for yearssss because you get mobbed by press and fans who want a piece of you. literally every time you step foot in the country. every time you go on a date —or simply dare to exist in public— there are news articles and pictures in the tabloids and people commenting on social media....
like after #TAXEVASIONGATE he felt the need to build a self-sufficient ranch slash mansion where he can practice privately (no paps !) and where he only invites people to come to him if they wanna hang out. like NAUR he wouldnt want to afford people any access to his soft little underbelly and the things that make him feel vulnerable, because he knows that they will be broadcast with a MEGAPHONE to every person with an internet connection on earth !!!! (which even HIS FATHER DID TOO). like. it would color a person's relationship with their emotions in all contexts of their life methinks !
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sneez · 1 year
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more of my oc tervis (any pronouns), the creepiest most miserable little weirdo in town. which is saying something [id under cut]
/ ID: four digital drawings.
The first image is a series of drawings of Tervis on a paper-textured background. A heading at the top reads 'Tervis (Humble)'. One is a coloured headshot of Tervis looking to the left; they have a gaunt face, short receding hair, a scar bisecting their lip and right eyebrow, greyish skin, and are wearing a red shawl around their neck. An arrow pointing at their right eye reads 'one blue eye (mostly blind)'; another arrow pointing at their left eye reads 'one brown eye'. They have a serious, hostile expression. The second drawing is an uncoloured full-body sketch of Tervis. Next to this is the same drawing but coloured and with more polished lineart. Tervis is a thin, hunched figure wearing a long, dark brown robe, a greyish bag on their back, and a red shawl around their head and neck. They are barefoot, and are leaning on a walking staff with both hands. An arrow pointing to the walking staff reads 'needed for walking, useful for hitting'. Tied to the belt around their waist are several long scrolls of paper with writing on them. An arrow pointing to the scrolls reads ''blessings' they paste on infected houses'. Tervis is looking warily out at the viewer from beneath their eyebrows. An arrow pointing to their head reads 'scar from getting hit in the face with a brick (also knocked out a tooth)'. Alongside these drawings are a series of bullet points giving information about Tervis. These read:
   indeterminate age, indeterminate gender
   religious fanatic (unclear which religion)
   lives alone somewhere in the steppe
   dislikes everyone but is nicer to children than anyone else
   has every disease
The second image is a fake screenshot from the video game Pathologic. Tervis is looking out at the viewer; the background shows scenery from the steppe. The text on screen reads:
CHANGELING: I still don’t see what you could have done that would make you personally responsible for this plague. TERVIS: Responsible… no, not merely responsible! This is my plague, cast upon my head alone. I am the originator; my sin is at the root of all. I have ventured into the town. I have seen the canker there. No matter how many houses I bless, my sickness sinks deeper. The rotted limb is the death of the body… Surely you understand me. You are a healer, are you not? CHANGELING: What is it that you are asking me to do? TERVIS: Let me be the lamb, worker of miracles! My blood shall wet the earth, and bright flowers shall grow… My putrefaction will provide the soil within which new life will burgeon, pure and free of sin and decay. Let it be done. I am ready. My failing flesh is but little sacrifice; in death my weakness will be my strength. Soon these torments will be at an end.
Below are two dialogue options:
You’re insane!
What makes you so sure your death would solve anything?
The third image is a fake screenshot from the video game Pathologic 2. Tervis is looking out at the viewer, and has been painted in semi-realistic style. The text on screen reads:
Tervis: Why do you force me to live? Damn you! Your cure is poison to me. Now I shall never be blessed. You should have left me to bleed.
Below are three dialogue options:
Don’t be absurd. I wasn’t going to watch you die.
What makes you think you deserve suffering?
I wish I had.
At the bottom of the image is a line of dialogue which Tervis has just spoken:
The air is foul. There is rot in this place. The stench of corruption shall be – what was it? What was it? The stench of corruption shall be… swept aside…
The fourth image is a coloured scene depicting Tervis and Clara. They are central in the composition; around them is the steppe, which has been rendered in a loose, painterly style. Tervis is kneeling, their walking staff cast aside, and are reaching out their hands to Clara in a desperate, pleading gesture. They are crying, their face contorted in an expression of agonised ecstasy. Clara stands beside them, one hand reaching out, the other held above Tervis’s head as though about to touch their brow. She has a solemn, pained expression. Behind her head, a break in the dark clouds gives the impression that she is haloed by sunlight; rays of the same light fall onto Tervis, illuminating their face and red robe. End ID. /
#artwork#pathologic#tervis!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D#sorry i know ive already posted that fake p2 screenshot i just wanted to keep all my tervis images in one place. please forgive me#i am having. So Much Fun. i would explode and die for tervis shes the worst i adore her#making fake screenshots is so enjoyable i love trying to match the fonts and copying all the little ui details it's so fun highly recommend#i have a lot of tervis lore which i am still developing but hopefully these drawings give you some idea of his character#hes just a mess really. hes got every imaginable problem#that last drawing is her getting sacrificed in the humble ending. she is SO happy about it#also if you didnt see my last post tervis was originally a warhammer 40k oc (which he still is ive just made a bonus pathologic tervis now)#but ive tried to keep a lot of 40k stuff in her design like the blessing scrolls and the uh. Posture#that's also my reasoning for why nobody knows what his religion is. the watsonian explanation is they are just spouting incomprehensible#disjointed passages from some obscure scripture which nobody can identify (and who would want to try really. tervis is not good company)#but the doylist explanation is that it's literally just the cult mechanicus. just ignore all the references to the weakness of the flesh and#the glory of the machine it will all be fine nothing weird here at all#anyway :-) i could talk about tervis forever but i will stop now#i hope you are all well my dear friends! i am on holiday now wahoo#i am also aware that i have several messages to answer which i will do very soon i am so sorry for being so slow as usual#i love you all i am giving you individual kisses on your individual heads. mwah
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fulcrvm · 16 days
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Last Line Tag Game
Thanks for tagging me @teejaystumbles ! A really nice surprise!! :D I am indeed contemplating writing two Dead Boy Detectives fic right now, but they're both in the very early 'being-outlined-in-my-head' stage, haha. They both revolve around post-s1 Edwin pining for Charles, one where Edwin takes matters into his own hands and one where he decides to have a chat with the Cat King about it. Not sure if they'll ever be written but they're intriguing!
But for the sake of the tag game, here's a lengthy bit from a Dreamling wip I've slowly been chipping away at for a few months!
A scene from Every Little Thing (Working Title)— In which Morpheus is a figure drawing professor who has just been fired from a film production based on his comics, and Hob does part-time figure modeling and is determined befriend the aforementioned professor.
Morpheus picks his class schedules wisely— he runs two first year general figure drawing classes, at 8 a.m. and at noon on Mondays and Thursdays. He helps the uni’s live figure workshop club on Wednesdays and Fridays at 6 p.m., and meets his sister for lunch on Wednesdays. All other free time was dedicated for his industry work. That wouldn’t be a concern anymore, would it. By the time Morpheus unlocks the door to the studio, sets his bag down by his desk, and starts fiddling with the ceiling studio lights pointed at the model stand, all of Morpheus’ thoughts have reduced to pure spite. Fine, maybe the big studios don’t want him. They don’t deserve him, then, their loss. His portfolio and repertoire are infamous in the industry, they’ll be crawling back to him in no time. Too bad, maybe he would have started his own production studio and he’ll end up with the next ground-breaking animated film. Maybe— Morpheus’ thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. He shakes himself out of it, calling, “Come in.” A glance at his watch tells him it’s only 7:48, perhaps it’s an overeager student here early. It’s only the second week of the semester, they grab every opportunity to prove themselves with a spirited step that Morpheus might be slightly envious of. “Hello, Morpheus Endeles?” Hearing his full name startles Morpheus, and he turns from the lighting settings to the door. “Yes?” The man who steps into view can only be described as radiant. He can’t be much older than Morpheus, not much taller either but wider in the shoulders. His hair is cropped just above his shoulders and he sports a neatly kept beard. Morpheus registers this all first simply because of his profession but— he gets caught on the man’s brilliant smile and deep brown eyes. There’s something there that knocks all thoughts clear out of Morpheus’ head. The stranger smiles warmly, smiles like he already cares. “I’m here to model for the morning and noon figure classes?” The man says. Morpheus clears his throat and steps forward, “Yes, this is the right studio.” He extends a hand, “Robert Gadling, I presume?” The man takes his hand— god, he’s so warm— and shakes it steadily, “Please, call me Hob! All my friends do.”
I'm a sucker for the 'Morpheus catalogues Hob's appearance during their first meeting' trope in most Dreamling human AU fics, I couldn't not do it too :]
Besides this, I've also got a Dreamling Velvet Goldmine-ish AU fic that I want to get done this summer. I'm a very slow and ruminative writer so let's see if I can commit to any of these fics now that I've posted about them lol!
No pressure tags! I have no idea who's been tagged recently so-- lol. @hardly-an-escape @valeriianz @moorishflower @amielot :)
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torahtot · 5 months
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ok ive had enough of queering judaism. can we start judaizing queerness now. or something
#like. it feels like so much of this queering judaism shtus just layers an american/secular queer identity over judaism#which i guess is fine for certain communities. but it's only going to push you away from orthodoxy#and if as queer jews we already feel like our queerness makes us into secularized outsiders in our own communities#how does this help? is trying to get our communities to embrace an essentially secular american iteration of queer identity supposed to mak#us feel LESS like outsiders? it's not quite doing it for me#we need a queerness that comes from within judaism that is essentially jewish#ive seen a couple of articles recently from ppl talking abt how word/concept of butch doesnt exist in their language & culture#but they use it anyway#& like. i love being butch. it's important to me ill never give it up#& i am american too. but my whole identity as a butch he/him lesbian is exclusively secular american it came from the outsifr#which is definitely due in large part to the fact that my Gender Problems were really tied up w orthodox jewish gender roles#so naturally to get out of that i'd pull on something not jewish. but i wish there was another option? idk if that's possible#or how it would look#maybe that's why im obsessed w the idea of a butch w long curly payos.... 😦#i forgot where i was going w this but yeah it's frustrating#this is a large part of why im wary of starting a queer Jewish club on campus bc the people who would wanna start it w mr#well no offense but they are insufferable about this#(incidentally they're also insufferable about chanukah. no surprises there)#nachi speaks#jew blogging#others have Actually written abt all this tho
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27thfirefly · 2 months
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hi. i just read the last chapter of your fic went blind last year and HOLY FUCK it is so good. i get it if you don’t want to like spoil things about your fic but i have many many questions and thoughts so im just gonna write a bunch of them.
the whole thing with like. dirk tapping into ultimate dirk and part of canon and then being shoved out? and then kind of realizing that he is a small part of something very big and wanting to be a bigger part of it, and then getting orange eyes representing a stronger connection to dirk-ness? fascinating. and is daves eyes turning red then symbolic of him becoming closer to dave-ness? and speaking of that- dante??? great character, very interesting. is he like somehow a version of dave? and what was he talking about on the swings? is he also in some sort of a loop? and what was it that dirk did at the end of chapter four? he did something with the sword, right, did he make dante decapitate him and then somehow come back to life?
and hal. and cal! holy shit, i can’t believe it but you kind of made me LIKE cal somehow? in the sense that he can be violent and outrageous and insane and vengeful when dirk can’t and its kind of cathartic.
its interesting to see where things stay the same as in canon and where they dont. like dave has chat logs with rose in 2014 and 2015? but hes only fourteen. so he’s technically both older and younger than he is at the beginning of homestuck. and dirk was like 13 in 1997, which is about when daves meteor should have dropped? but did they come with the meteors at all, in this world? dirk came with lil cal on his meteor in canon, but here he got him when he was 12. but dave still seems to be somewhat in touch with his time powers, and dirk with his heart powers, so some things carried over from the game?
god. this is all so fascinating and good. i will be probably rereading the fic and eating drywall until a new chapter comes out. you are an amazing writer.
wahhh thank you very much! for what it's worth i too have been thinking a lot about went blind last year. glances at the +50k word txt document of story notes and wip chapters. so i do love getting to talk about it even if working on it is very slow at the moment! i will put this under a readmore cos i got carried away but
there's a lot of things i don't want to spoil yet yes... but i think i've laid enough of the groundwork that these things won't feel terribly out of place within the story.
one thing i do feel comfortable in divulging is that any connections to canon are deliberately tenuous... how far can a character diverge from canon while still being understood as fitting the mold for that character? when a character is deliberately obscured, how much does fanon interpretation impact what feels in-character?
when you read fanfiction or fancomics or whatever kind of work about a specific character, your mind creates a superposition of the character as they exist in the original work and the character as they exist in the fanwork. as long as the "shape" of the character in the fanwork doesn't stick out too much from your perception of the canon "shape", you can accept that character--as written by someone else--as the same as in canon. some of the choices i have made are deliberately contradictory to the text of homestuck the webcomic. i have made these choices in order to tell the story i want to tell. even so, the basis for the characters in wbly are understood to be the same as in homestuck, creating an expectation for what these characters will act like, what their baseline is, and how you as a reader approach them. your feelings about cal changing within the context of wbly is an interesting case of this in my mind--the cal within wbly is presumably still close enough to canon that you can call it the same character, but the role of cal is changed enough that your impression of him is changed. that kind of thing is FASCINATING to me.
the reason wbly would not work as an independent work is the same as why the homestuck epilogues do not work without the pre-existing fandom of homestuck: there need to be expectations for these characters and relationships in order for me to challenge those expectations.
another thing i will divulge is that went blind last year is not the full title of the story in my mind--i won't tell the full one, but it does tie into just about every conflict in the story.
thank you again for reading my overly complicated fanfic! hopefully you'll stick around even if it'll take me a lot longer than expected to complete. if not, that's fine too.
also every time i send updates to my friend i get lamentations so you know stuffs going great
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marsixm · 5 days
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i also think the fact that i had such a stunted and isolated upbringing and now that im an adult all my friends are on atypical life paths (and honestly even my friends as a kid were like this too) means i find things that are usually very common life stages really interesting. like knowing someone who has a house and a wife and 2 kids (with that wife) and a job with a salary feels like meeting fucking paul bunyun to me. or hearing the kids i work with talk about graduating high school and going to college and being on a real path with that stuff is neat? or even sometimes knowing cis/het people who are like going thru that coming of age stuff that i never really experienced the way you see it in the movies bc of transness/queerness/neurodivergence. its like woah they said the name of the thing in the thing. do u know what i mean???
#this actually reminds me of one of the girls at work whose been here for 2 yrs so i feel like im watching her grow up#shes graduating hs this year and shes really smart and she always asks questions like this#like picking ur brain about your life like 'what did you feel like growing up how was your family' etc#its kinda cool#she already got a degree bc of dual credit courses and an internship lined up and im so proud of her#and theres another girl her same age who came to me last night telling me her situationship just broke her heart#and they were both talking all about their prom dresses and all that stuff and were so excited last month#like idk i guess i just find it endearing#i think part of it is also that while these specific paths are thought of as common/default#there really is so much variance in life and really truly so many people not on those paths for so many reasons#which actually does loop around to making it seem strange#like truly how many people do you really know anymore who stayed at 1 job until they rose the ranks#who got married and had kids with that person and now they live in a house in the suburbs with some dogs and cats#like who does that anymore#meanwhile i think its just cool seeing kids actually experiencing growing up but in retrospect and not as a peer feeling confused & jealous#like woah youre a girl buying a dress and getting her hair done and texting a boy thats so wild ive never done that#or woah youre taking courses to prepare for college and know what degree youre going for#i no longer feel resentment that i felt left behind during all that shit when i was a teenager#im just happy for them and proud of them
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nerves-nebula · 10 months
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hi guys im having a normal one again (looking at the part of the 2015 transgender survey about trans sexual assault rates) shoutout to all my transmascs & nonbinary fuckers we are SOOO FUCKED
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newvegascowboy · 2 months
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Im gonna be honest, the colleen hoover hate is just so old. I'm not gonna read her books and i never will because the content doesn't appeal to me, but ive watched the essays. I've sat and listened to 4+ hours of "omg CRING" on youtube. I get it. I understand. But you have GOT to find some fresh material, I'm so serious.
Has no one ever heard the phrase no publicity is bad publicity? The only thing this accomplishes is enticing people who think "it cant really be that bad" who go out and buy a copy. An dollar spent in disbelief is the same as a dollar spent by an earnest fan and at the end of the day she just has two fucking dollars.
Maybe she is a shitty writer idc but the majority of this videos boil down to "CoHo bad because she wrote a romance dynamic i think is weird and gross" and its like bro then don't fucking read it. Im serious. Your little rants are not going to stop her from writing her books and its not gonna stop the people who do like to read them from buying them. At a certain point you gotta ask yourself if reading hours of exhausting material is worth your 2 hour outrage video where you go in depth about how Weird and Bad colleen hoover is. Would you not rather spend your day doing something you actually enjoy?
At the end of the day colleen hoover writes weird books and that's just like, fine. Trust me, there are enough videos out there explaining why her writing is toxic. You can out the video camera down. It's okay. Take my hand. Try saying something beautiful and true.
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radmista · 24 days
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Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake
#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update#she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back#i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat#im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it#bc what the fuck#i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages#and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things.#i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit#and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc#it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday#why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up#I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever#i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for#and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about#that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell#why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family#and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call#which gives them space to harass me about work and shit
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