kithj - Tumblr blog

kithj · 21 hours

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damn, between two fires is actually good......

#its not just edgy grimdark shit.........#i mean it is. but also More #the inherent goodness of people...... yeah #the characters. theyre so good #for some reason i was like. fully expecting to hate this. i think bc i always see it on reddit lol. but no its actually good #its been so long since a read a hyped book that's actually lived up to the hype....#well maybe i shouldnt say that yet im not done lmfao #i have like 100 pages left and im scared.

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kithj · 3 days

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plot of my current wip

#valkyrie #the way it happens in this exact order too

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kithj · 3 days

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i just finished providence girls (which is a reimagining with two characters from lovecraft) and one thing i really liked about that specific reimagining is that it actually had something to say.

it explores the autonomy of both characters, who in their original stories, are used and abused by their fathers, and both die or disappear at the end with little reflection on what was done to them. this is something that will make a compelling reimagining. especially with asenath, Dante explores the theory that asenath was never really herself, but rather possessed by her father, touching on the gendered comments made by Lovecraft, rather than ignoring them.

the author doesn't shy away from the source material or completely rewrite the characters, but instead develops them with the source in mind, and explores how the events of their original story would affect them and impact their lives.

asenath feels disconnected from her body, and finds herself enraged by its betrayal as she starts to transform; lavinia reflects on her traumatic pregnancy and her short experience with motherhood as well as her albinism and how people treat her because of it. these things are interesting! they already existed in the source material and Dante is exploring them further. the differences between the two women cause problems as well as self-reflection, and they both come together and find healing in their short, bittersweet romance.

anyways, all that to say that i do think reimaginings can be done well. and also i recommend providence girls

#i found the first half to be kinda slow but obviously. i ended up really liking it #it's very slow and moody. and i do think it was a little rough in spots due to being self pub but it wasn't enough to take away my overall #enjoyment. i think dante is a skilled writer & i'm starting their carmilla reimagining next #again i DO think reimaginings can be fun. so long as they respect the source material #so long as they have something more to say than just 'look it's gay now' as a marketing ploy. lol #my reviews

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kithj · 3 days

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begging all the people doing queer reimaginings to stop for like 5 seconds and think: is this adding anything to the original story? or am i taking something away? do i understand the original intent behind this story? what am i saying by reimagining it in this way?

please. i'm tired of all the queer stories being bland reimaginings that don't even understand the source material

#sorry im being a hater for a moment #i DO think it's possible to do interesting reimaginings. there are stories that would be compelling to view through a gay/feminist/etc lens #however. not at the expense of the social & historical context #anyways i recently i saw a frollo/esmerelda sapphic retelling and it pissed me off so bad #at a certain point it's fine to just. publish an original story #you're allowed to take inspiration from something without calling it a retelling or whatever #you're just misrepresenting the original work and yourself. in fact actively harming your own work by presenting it in this way #also that frollo/esmerelda shit just sucked ass. if you wanted to do some weird sapphic nun shit you could have just #made your own characters instead. why even choose that story when all you did was reduce quasimodo to a child #that only existed to make frollo seem more likeable for adopting him. why even make frollo likeable....#again you do not understand the source material #anyways ive made and deleted this post like a dozen times at this point butim finally posting it. lmfao

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kithj · 5 days

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OKPsyche by Anya Johanna DeNiro

An amazing short novella which incorporates the changing world of a trans woman as she navigates a world perhaps slightly weirder than our own.

An unnamed trans woman is looking for a sense of belonging, a better relationship with her son, and friends that aren’t imaginary in this playful and aching short novel. As she navigates the many worlds she belongs to she wrestles with her many anxieties and fears about the world around her. Her son and ex live in another state. Companion robots are popping up. Environmental disasters are being outsourced from the coast to the Midwest. And at any time anyone anywhere might turn out to be a new friend or an enemy.

#ooooo

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kithj · 5 days

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the response from the book community to freydis moon being to just turn and start harassing other anonymous trans and actual bipoc authors is so frustrating (but also very telling), as if there's not a very obvious reason why these people would want to be anonymous. and then to just start harassing them and proving the need for that safety while still pretending to be oblivious is just so vile. i've been anonymous all these years entirely for my safety and i will most likely remain anonymous in all things that i write.

i feel for all of freydis's victims and especially for the trans and latine authors that thought they were their friend. and i feel for all of the other authors and readers that are now being harassed simply for existing in this space alongside them.

#i never thought i'd encounter a more performative community than tumblr IF #but the book community tops it EASILY #making stat graphs of how 'diversely' you read for the week while turning around and harassing marginalized authors in the same breath #like the call is coming from inside the house #and im on the periphery of this. i am very much a nonexistent author in the indie queer horror scene #and even EYE i am seeing ripples of this #i dont use my bookstagram as an author so i didnt feel like commenting over there but i did want to say something here

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kithj · 7 days

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currently reading Wild Thorns by Sahar Khalifeh and a repeated line in this book is "Prison's for men," something said by multiple characters. the commentary on masculinity and manhood and the way Palestinian men are dehumanized, and the "role" of a man under occupation-- do you provide? do you resist? what's the difference?

i just think of that story from Walid Daqqa, about the child in solitary confinement who asked him for a cigarette.

I considered the child, empathizing with his craving for the cigarette. The craving is not for the rush of nicotine but for what the cigarette connotes. Frightened, a mere child in the harsh world of the prison, he wanted to become a man quickly. Meanwhile, it is now my desire to turn back time so that I can again become a child, at least a young man, the way I was when I entered prison more than a quarter of a century ago.

#this isnt very coherent idk how to articulate what i'm feeling/thinking #i've read criticisms of this book from Palestinians about the way it depicts the resistance & i've read some of Khalifeh's comments #she's obviously critical of the struggle & her focus in this book is class divide #her opinion is that the struggle cannot move forward without first addressing the struggle of the working class #i think approaching this book with that in mind i can understand her depiction better #even if i agree with the criticisms #this is absolutely a book about intracommunity clash #differect perspectives of life under occupation #what does it mean to resist?#i wish i could better articulate my thoughts on her commentary about masculinity #but i just keep coming back to 'uncle give me a cigarette'

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kithj · 8 days

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i bought this book on a whim and then found out it has an entire audio production and it's available for free on youtube, i recommend the first story, His Black Tongue (i haven't listened to the other two yet) i thought it was really fun and the production is awesome. i've seen it compared to between two fires but i haven't read that yet but if you're familiar with that brand of medieval horror, that's the vibe.

youtube

#this is also on spotify too if you have premium #idk it's fun!!#the narrator does a great job #i was listening to this at work while packing boxes lmfao #i'm hoping to listen to the other two stories tomorrow. also at work... lol #and im reading two books for a palestine readathon i'll post about those once i'm finished #and also. still reading providence girls. mfnkshj

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kithj · 8 days

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i never posted my review of into the drowning deep here...

i thought it was fun! probably my favorite interpretation of mermaids i've seen so far.

i did think the book was way too long for what it was, it got really repetitive at times, particularly in the beginning before the voyage and specifically during Jacques & Michi's POVs (we get it they are god's perfect killing machines please just move on). i also felt that the ending was very abrupt, since the last 20% really sucked me in and it was all finally picking up momentum for me.

all that being said, i am a huge fan of the book's found footage vibe, and i thought the author did well balancing all of the POVs and i appreciated her effort to explore all the different perspectives and experiences of the cast, without it ever feeling forced or performative. in a giant research vessel like that, you’re going to have people from all walks of life, and it was nice to see that reflected among the characters.

the mermaids/sirens were SO interesting, i’m obsessed with mira grant’s mind. personally i would be first in line to start studying these creatures irl, even if they’d just bite my face off. i was disappointed that so many of the scientists took the attacks so personally, though. for all the commentary on climate change & conservation, i didn’t like that the scientists were constantly talking so carelessly about revenge and destroying all the sirens. it felt like a strange disconnect between the narrative and the characters. or maybe i can say that since i’m not the one being attacked by man-eating mermaids….. 🙈

anyways if you're looking for a fun creature feature i would recommend it. the ending felt like a clear set-up for a sequel, and i went looking around and apparently the author actually has an entire series planned, but no one will buy the books.... i'm not going to pretend like i understand publishing but i do know that it's hell <3 she does has the prequel/original short which i may check out since i know it's short and not nearly 500 pages like this one 😭

#my reviews #umm yeah i just gave it 3/5 like it was fun i liked the mermaids but it didnt like Knock my socks off or anything #and again it really dragged for me. that could just be a personal skill issue tho ive only been reading like 280pages books #and this one is. again. almost 500 pages..#i cant read

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kithj · 10 days

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i made them moodboards.....

#they are rotting my brain btw

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kithj · 11 days

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IM THE PERSON WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT THINGS HAVE GOTTEN WORSE SINCE WE LAST SPOKE A FEW DAYS AGO And i agree about how sad it is that most queer horror authors i dont vibe with. do you have any you DO like? im always on the lookout for more and from what i’ve seen of your book taste on here we have pretty similar taste in books. can be any genre of horror tbh im not picky

hehehe yes i'd love to give u some recommendations! though if i'm being honest i really haven't found that many authors in the genre that i really vibe with yet. im still on the hunt... may leitz is probably the only one i can recommend that is kinda in the same vein as the "popular" ones, but Leitz is someone who i think does well balancing the extreme aspects of it with characters that are actually interesting and sympathetic to read (as opposed to just one-dimensional cannon fodder for random violence)

i don't know if any of these authors actually refer to themselves as "queer horror" authors nor do i know with certainty if all of them are a part of the lgbt community, but um. well i like their books. these also all aren't strictly about the characters identity; some focus more on it than others so i'll just say it's horror + lgbt characters.

i'll start with extreme horror:

fluids by may leitz - this will be the most extreme book i recommend, and i've talked about it a few times before. it's about two women, named Dahlia and Lauren, who meet on tinder during the pandemic, and after only a few days of talking Lauren takes it upon herself to drive to Dahlia's hometown and try and "save" her. things escalate, and the two women's paths diverge. cw: extreme violence and gore, rape, incest (the two girls pretend to be related), emetophobia, suicide, eating disorder, murder, literally everything you can think of. this is Extreme Horror, and i wouldn't recommend this one for anyone that's not already familiar with the genre.

girl flesh by may leitz - while i didn't like this one as much as fluids, i'm just a fan of may leitz's writing in general so i'd still recommend it. this one has a bit of a pacing problem & does a lot of telling rather than showing, but i like the direction leitz takes this one in the end. i've talked about this one before too so you might remember me rambling about it. this one is about two women who are kidnapped and wake up restrained in a dirty hotel in the middle of the texas mesa. they work together to escape their captors as well as the wild mesa and maybe even fall in love a little bit on the way. cw: extreme violence, gore, transphobia/deadnaming, eating disorder, emetophobia, self-harm, rape. this one isn't as extreme as fluids but i'd still be cautious with it.

to be devoured by sara tantlinger - this one is a short novella you can read in one sitting. Andi really really really wants to know what carrion tastes like. she's fascinated by the vultures that circle the edge of her property, but her fascination soon turns to obsession, and Andi will stop at nothing to learn their secrets. cw: blood consumption, cannibalism, violence and gore, very graphic animal harm and animal death

okay now the rest are just more general horror:

house of hunger by alexis henderson - loosely based on the legend of Elizabeth of Bathory, this story takes place in a society that runs on blood. Marion travels to the House of Hunger to begin her term as a bloodmaid under Countess Lisavet, who has a mysterious ailment that renders her weak and bedbound unless she has a constant flow of blood to treat it. Marion gets to know the other bloodmaids, and in time begins to realize not all is as it seems at the House of Hunger. cw: blood consumption, violence, abusive relationships/gaslighting, death

alexis henderson has also written the year of the witching, and she just announced an academy for liars. i really like her writing so i plan to check out her other work soon-ish.

apparitions by adam pottle - again i talked about this one recently so you may have seen it already, but i NEED more people to read this book. this follows the story of a young man who was born deaf and raised in an abusive household until he was able to escape as a teenager, only to be institutionalized immediately after. there he meets another deaf teen, and for the first time in his life, he has a language that he can speak with and can finally be understood. cw: child abuse, institutionalization, homophobia, abusive relationship, ableism, violence, death, religious trauma, animal harm and animal death.

the luminous dead by caitlin starling - gyre price is a lone caver swaddled inside a hi-tech suit that allows her to dive deep underground to map mineral deposits off-planet. however, the person on the other end of the suit has other plans, and easily takes control of gyre and her suit, putting the two at odds with each other as gyre spirals into uncertainty and paranoia while also having to deal with the terrifying presence of the tunneler. cw: claustrophobia, death, forced drugging, violence, gore, abusive/toxic relationship

caitlin starling also has a few other books though i haven't gotten around to reading them yet and i honestly haven't heard much about them so i can't say how they compare, but the luminous dead is one of my favorites of all time.

the Sworn Soldier series by T. Kingfisher - i love these books, they're just short fun horror stories with a really charming main character. Alex Easton is a retired soldier from Gallacia, and has their own special pronouns in Gallacian (kan/kanself) as part of their occupation and culture, and is what we would consider nonbinary (not all soldiers identify this way, but Alex does). vicars in Gallacia use van/vanself, there are different pronouns for children and adults, etc. i think it's just really interesting and i enjoy what the author has done with the worldbuilding and language, and how seamlessly it fits into her writing. the first book is a retelling of the fall of the house of usher (and is the stronger of the two) while the second one has Alex returning home to Gallacia and facing off with an old Gallacian superstition that's haunting their family cottage.

again i don't really know how T. Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon personally identifies but i do recommend her writing regardless, she's written other horror books as well as some fantasy books & she's just incredibly skilled imo, easy and fun to read.

most of my TBR that i'm working towards is horror so maybe i'll update this post later with more.... i'm currently reading providence girls by morgan dante and into the drowning deep by mira grant.

morgan dante has a few other books that are all some flavor of gothic horror/romance and i'm very excited for their new book that just came out TODAY that's a carmilla/elizabeth of bathory reimagining. i'm planning on reading that Immediately (i preordered it) so i'll report back for it and once i finish providence girls, too.

the next few books on my TBR that are all lgbt + horror:

The Seep by Chana Porter

Thirst by Marina Yuszczuk

A Dowry of Blood & An Education in Malice, both by S.T. Gibson

Little Rot by Akwaeke Emezi (i think this one is a thriller actually and also isnt out yet but whatever. i recommend this author, they genre-hop a lot & have a decent amount of work published already)

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon

and of course i always recommend looking up content warnings if you need to especially for the last few since i haven't read them myself and can't vouch for them just yet. but ummm hopefully you see something you like 😭 i'll stop yapping <3

#sorry i do favor f/f pairings or sapphic characters in books and thats kinda obvious here lmfao #anyways. thanks for enabling me to talk about books <3 #i really want to read the seep ive been dying to get to it. nyehilism recommend it to me mwah #into the drowning deep is beating my ass i WILL finish it today so i can move on #i'll probably post about it here once i finish i have Thots about it already #oh also i just looked and caitlin starling's newest book is under st martin's press which is being boycotted atm #so that's probably why i havent seen anything #the luminous dead is under harper voyager tho #ask #anonymous #long post

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kithj · 12 days

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i made them moodboards.....

#i cant DRAW so this will have to do #rotating them. at high velocity #seven #& Her who i haven't decided if her name is final yet lmfao #seven's arm is way more mechanical &not flesh at all but i jsut thot the tattoo is cute mnfkjsd #it's more like edward's arm in fma #also sorry i keep making goth femme characters. ummmm. uh. huh #valkyrie

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kithj · 14 days

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LINK ROT / TRANSMISSION 001 / APRIL 3rd, 2024

Link Rot is a multimedia webserial following those within a research station. Once dedicated to the study and containment of a newly discovered life form, complications arise following its unexpected merge with the station's AI. TRANSMISSION 001 - In which you survive the unthinkable, and the world is worse for it.

General warnings can be found in the 'About' section. Any videos will have flashing warnings if applicable.

additional rambling under the cut

wow!!! it's been (checks archive) almost exactly a year since i originally conceptualized Link Rot, and since then it's grown into a beast of a story i cannot wait to tackle.

currently i'm aiming for updates once every month/month and a half (with occasional vacations to work on bite-sized projects). i'd like to do more, but i have a job and don't want to burn myself out. for now, i will take things slow B) maybe this will change in the future!

i hope you all enjoy reading my story as much as i enjoy creating it. there's a couple of hidden things on the website, so if you find anything fun let me know

and lastly,

take this

#sooo cool #other games #<- just my catch all tag

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kithj · 15 days

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тајне унутар дрвета запис… спајамо се… ја и ти. где нас свети Илија нит Перун не могу раставити.

#art

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kithj · 15 days

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the ruby court from vampjamp just got a full release :-)

#really been looking forward to this one #unfortunately my brain is not able to focus and play it rn but i still wanted to share hehe

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kithj · 15 days

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blood4blood is a short, adult (18+) interactive fiction game where you play as a butch lesbian vampire out for blood on valentine's day night.

features two routes: the butch or the femme. very minor customization (name, jacket choice) and overall a more linear experience with only a few flavor choices. this game does also feature two nsfw illustrations, so head's up!

submitted to queer vampire jam and smoochie jam.

play it here!

and happy valentine's day 🥀

#srb

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kithj · 15 days

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Bleeding Heart is my entry for the Queer Vampire Game Jam!

In this 27k~ adult interactive gothic horror novel, guide Cecilia through a night of horror and self-discovery as she flees from both her overbearing brother and her soon-to-be husband, desperate to seek help in the only place she will find it - the halls of the abandoned castle deep within the witch's wood.

Features two false endings and four true endings.

Content warnings include violence, gore, death, blood consumption, period-typical misogyny, explicit sex, dubious consent, mauling and animal death.

#srb

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