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#which is both relatable and soul destroying
tsams-confessions · 3 days
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It is one thing is, supposedly, that Sun has not had changes in his life that "justify" that his mental and emotional health has been improving. And another thing is that these changes are not enough for you. Let's do a review. Do you really remember when Sun was REALLY BAD to the point of having dangerous intrusive thoughts and even hallucinations? In those days his worst enemy had obtained an object of incalculable power, having the possibility of destroying him and everything he loved with a snap of his fingers if had wanted to. TWO of his brothers had died, one had to restart, and the other was between life and death very far from him. The guilt flooding his mind and soul for killing Bloodmoon was so great that he saw and heard it. Everyone around him except Moon and Earth hated him. Not to mention that shortly after, a crazy man suddenly appeared who represented ANOTHER THREAT to him and his family. All that without mentioning all the damage suffered from the abuse of Old Moon and Eclipse, and I'm sure I've forgotten things but let's leave that as the most relevant.
Now… Does everything previously said remain the same?
Of course NOT!!!!!!!! Sun has his family back, and even his family grew with the integration of Earth, Solar, and i dare include Jack. He has also been able to make more friends than before, like Foxy, Puppet, Solar, he has even gotten to interact more with Freddy than did before. All this translates into a very important support net. With the return of Lunar, both he and Earth help Sun in Daycare, which gives him more time for himself, to play and relax, spend time with his cats or simply watching a television series with a friend. TIME FOR REST AND HEALTHY RECREATION. It should also be said that his feared enemy, Eclipse, was destroyed, and he played a fundamental role in that, he did not allow Moon to do all the work, Sun also helped, risking his life in the process, he was able to feel useful and important. That at the time was a HUGE weight that was lifted from his shoulders. T
hen, perhaps one of the most important things: HE STARTED RECEIVING THERAPY.
And yes, probably for many what they see in the videos is not an authentic therapy session, but hey, the actors are not psychologists or professional therapists, they are voice actors and gamers, they do what they can with the time and knowledge they have, and what matters is that these sessions fulfill the function of treatment for the character, whether the viewers like it or not. It's even been mentioned that he receives more treatments and goes to more sessions with Earth than we see on screen, they just can't show them all. Another thing, moving away from his workplace, having his own space that only belongs to him and Moon, not a room owned by Fazbear, that must have been LIBERATING. In addition to the feeling of independence and freedom, he also had to make Sun stop thinking a little about his work for the first time in his life, because he no longer literally lived in his work. And as much as it bothers several people that Solar was the one who helped Moon the most before his tragedy, whether they like it or not, it was Sun's conscious decision to take a break from the Daycare-related chaos because SINCE HE WAS CREATED, HAVEN'T HAD A TIME PROLONGED PEACE IN THEIR LIFE. He knew wasn't going to be much help in tracking down Eclipse, any more than Lunar or Earth were, and no one faults them for that. Our strengths and talents will not always be required, the important thing is to take care of ourselves and be ready when we can help; Sun had complete trust in Moon and Solar, and they most of the time informed him of his progress, such as when Eclipse was captured or when Moon told him of his suspicions about Ruin. Of course, it has had its ups and downs, it wouldn't be TSAMS if everything were easy, without a doubt Ruin along with the copies of Bloodmoon and Eclipse were responsible for hindering the process of recovery and progress of the celestial family, especially Sun, but that, The process exists, the progress exists, perhaps it is more subtle than with other characters because on the Sun and Moon channel the emotional conversations almost cause those two dumbs men to vomit.
The point is, Sun has changed, everything around him has changed from when he was in his deepest and darkest moment, and he has been changing and evolving along with his family and his surroundings.
Maybe it's not the change you would like or the one you expected, but don't tell lies claiming that this change for the better happened out of nowhere, because then it seems like you only saw the episode where Sun said that sometimes he wished he were dead and then he just you skipped to the current ones ignoring both their experiences on their own channel and others. Oh, and i almost forgot, with everything said above i have not meant for a moment that Sun is completely cured, because it is evident that his anxiety and low self-esteem problems still exist, they have not disappeared, but he has learned techniques to deal with them, learn to live with their problems, healthier coping methods, and that is already an improvement, not a cure, but certainly an improvement.
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Theory regarding the "System"
So I want all of you to listen really carefully.
I posted about my theory of Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan being the same person just from different timelines on Tumblr. One of the user @6gmrnv3hin reblogged my post with their theory that the System is actually Bing-ge.
Okay, now hold on and let me clarify it.
It's a theory relating to time paradox and the multiverse of the SVSSS and PIDW universes.
Their theory is that after Bing-ge left the SVSSS universe, he went onto search for his own kind Shizun. He found the soul of Shen Jiu in Shen Yuan in a different timeline. So Bing-ge split his soul into 2 parts. One part become the superior entity "System" and the other part became our beloved Bing-mei creating the new timeline of SVSSS.
Now here comes the missing puzzle piece which I was finally able to piece out from all these.
Some people theorise that Airplane actually got visions of the PIDW world and hence wrote the story.
This could be the part of the paradox where Airplane wrote the story because the PIDW universe actually existed and the PIDW universe existed because Airplane wrote about it.
It could be the "System"(Bing-ge) orchestrated everything to give himself a happy ending. He planned the transmigration of Shen Jiu's soul in the form of Shen Yuan that has not yet been corrupted by trauma in the modern universe into the SVSSS universe.
As another of the user @optimisticmosquito said that the "System" did not let Shen Yuan transmigrate into the novel as a child because there was a high chance he would have got tainted by all the trauma and turn out to be like Shen Jiu. Hence, he transmigrated into the body of adult, well-acomplished Shen Qingqui. As the spoilt second generation rich kid, Shen Yuan never had to go through the struggles that Shen Jiu of the original timeline went through. This lead Shen Yuan to be much kinder and a much better teacher. Shen Yuan is everything Shen Jiu could never have been due to all the trauma shackling him.
The "System" (Bing-ge) compelled Shen Yuan to fix the mistakes of the PIDW universe and prevent the current SVSSS universe from getting destroyed by the hands of Binghe (Yes, I consider the PIDW universe to be a destroyed universe because of all the mess). This way both Shen Jiu and Bing-ge ended up atoning for the sins they committed in the original timeline.
This would clarify some of the doubts regarding why Bing-ge never returned to disturb the life of Bingqui when he had not 1 but 2 reality cutting swords. Sir was busy creating a completely different timeline.
This would further clarify why the "System" was hell bent on Bingmei finding Xin Mo because Bingge in future would require 2 reality cutting swords to create a new timeline.
It would also clarify the reason why the "System" was so pushy with the "small scenario pushers" and was so closely influenced by Binghe's moods. It did not even interfere when Xin Mo was broken and taken by Bing-ge.
This is because Binghe no longer required Xin Mo. In the SVSSS universe he finally has all the happiness he ever wanted. He no longer felt the need to conquer the 3 realms just to feel a tiny bit of satisfaction with his life. He no longer needed series of blood baths and hundreds of wives to feel validated. He discovered the truth about his birth parents and his father is still alive. The Can Qiong Sect is still intact and the human and demon realms haven't been merged. Even Mobei Jun is no longer alone and miserable in the SVSSS universe.
Bing-ge finally was successful in attaining his happiness in the form of Bing-mei and the "System".
The paradox is that the SVSSS universe existed because Bingge by mistake stumbled upon the SVSSS universe where he found about his kind Shizun and the kind Shizun exists in the SVSSS universe because Bing-ge of the future split himself into 2 and went onto create the SVSSS universe as the "System".
I hope I was able to clarify my thoughts and theories.
You can go check out my Tumblr post here:
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apoptoses · 1 year
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I think about Armand’s Marius Issues ᵀᴹ  a lot but I’m rereading his book and now I can’t stop thinking about his Bianca Issues ᵀᴹ too.
Like yes, Armand and his pets are a way to work through his experiences with Marius but Daniel in particular parallels Bianca a lot. Bianca was someone Armand was in love with (albeit in a naive teen crush sort of way), the first mortal he ever went and told his vampire secret to. Even in knowing Armand was a vampire Bianca loved him all the same, still treated him as something of an equal, still went out with him and let him dress her up to have adventures in the mortal world every night. On some subconscious level, under all obvious Marius related troubles, Armand is chasing that with Daniel too. (also all of the weird vampire/mortal threesomes? That shit is all about Marius and Bianca)
When he warns Daniel that other vampires might seek to harm him just because he’s with Armand I always go back to Marius intending to kill Bianca. How helpless Armand must have felt in that in that moment, the first time he learned that those he loved would always be in danger simply because of his love for them (because Marius can talk as much shit as he wants about it being a lesson in killing evil doers, but on some level that had to do with Armand having slept with Bianca and having feelings for her too)
Then the safe spaces he makes in the form of Night Island and Trinity Gate are homages to Bianca’s home, the one place he could run to when he was upset and know nothing bad would happen to him, that Bianca would let him rest there however long he liked. Armand keeps both of his homes open like a courtesan’s home, taking all guests and letting his select lovers drift in and out. Trinity Gate is filled with Sybelle’s music, just as Bianca’s home was. Bianca gave him stability and safety in a strange and overwhelming period of his life and Armand tries so hard to give that to others (and to himself) now.
So it’s especially painful to know that not only did Marius abandon him, but Bianca did too. As a fledgling vampire she couldn’t have marched into the Children of Satan alone (understandably) but she never goes back, and the one time Armand does see her in the streets she turns away. Maybe she actually was scared like Armand thought, but it hurt him in a way it took centuries for him to realize.
It’s a shame that Anne Rice didn’t see fit to include their reconciliation in Prince Lestat, or Armand’s reaction to Marius admitting in Blood and Gold and he and Bianca had come and seen him in Paris. As much as Marius left indelible marks on his life, his relationship to Bianca and her seeming disappearance did too.
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waitineedaname · 11 months
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anyway. back to my regularly scheduled idiot posting. I got left alone with my thoughts too long earlier and started thinking about greed and how he's positioned between the other homunculi and humans. none of the other homunculi show off their ouroboros tattoos as much as he does. they don't particularly hide their tattoos (except when in disguise/not counting wrath) but greed LOVES showing off his tattoo, it's the first thing he does when introducing himself constantly. he's also the first one to proudly declare he's a homunculus, despite having distanced himself from the rest of the homunculi
at the same time, he immediately draws an association between himself and human beings. he describes himself as an artificially made human, which is the literal definition of what a homunculus is, and his willingness to explain how he's not that far from humans (his body structurally being the same as a human, describing himself as sturdier than most but not truly immortal) is what allows ed to figure out his weakness. meanwhile the other homunculi would literally rather die than position themselves as at all similar to humans. this is consistent with the fact that all the other homunculi, at best, look down on humanity, and at worst, feel intense contempt for humans, meanwhile greed seems to be amused by humans, if not outright fond of them
idk i just think it's interesting that the rest of the homunculi completely divorce themselves from humanity and position themselves as superior, but greed is the one to actually embrace the definition of homunculus as an artificial human
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trupowieszcz-moved · 6 months
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fun facts about (polish) vampire folklore because i'm too autism
(disclaimer: my source for all of this is the book "Upiór. Historia naturalna" by Łukasz Kozak i'm not pulling this out of my ass)
The word "vampire" came from a mistranscribed Serbian word, written down by Austrian officials informing about a panic among the locals, who claimed that during a plague their dead were rising and biting them and spreading the plague further
In Poland, the words used to describe what later transformed into a "vampire" in literature were: upiór (and variations thereof - the word came from Ukrainian, and the Ukrainians got it from Turkish "ubyr"), strzyga (f)/strzygoń (m) and wieszczy (m)/wieszczyca (f). "Upiór" was used in the southeast, "strzyga" around the central regions, "strzygoń" (as well as strzyga) specifically in Lesser Poland (Małopolska) and "wieszczy" in Greater Poland (Wielkopolska) and in Kashubia. "Wąpierz" was not a word until some writer in the 19th century made it up!
The upiór actually very rarely drank blood. It happened, sure, but a much more bloodthirsty creature was zmora/mara. However, upiory often drank milk, stealing it from cows and horses. Both are life-giving bodily fluids, after all.
The above might make you think about witches, who were often blamed with stealing or spoiling milk, and you wouldn't be far off. You see, you had to be born as an upiór (these ones weren't contagiously biting!), and while you were alive, it would give you various magical powers, like clairvoyance and detecting the dead upiory, and so the upiór was practically a synonym of a sorcerer or witch. Of course, the sources vary, but depending on who you asked, they could control weather bringing heavy rains or droughts, see the future, know literally everything and so on. Those so-called "living vampires" knew who they were since birth and were often helpful, until they died.
After an upiór died, that's when the bad things happened. They disappeared from their graves, destroyed churches, broke candles, brought plague upon the people, scared their neighbors, and if one puffed in your face, you would soon die. They were said to be able to walk around with their decapitated head, so anti-vampiric burials often had to be very thorough and decapitation wasn't enough.
The signs that were supposedly telling of a living vampire were, among others: being born with teeth, being born in a caul, not having armpit or pubic hair BUT having a hairy chest, not having undergone confirmation (i'll come back to that in a moment), having a very red face and easily and often blushing (not being pale!), or being born with a deformed foot.
Not having participated in the confirmation sacrament was especially damning, because it was believed that upiory had two souls (and two hearts). When they were baptized, only one soul was being saved, and the confirmation sacrament was supposed to protect the second soul. This, of course, was extremely against the catechism, so the first "official", church-related sources recording those beliefs had to invent another "backstory" for upiory, and they claim that an upiór is a dead person specifically, who was given to the devil at birth, the baptism saving their soul, but their body still belonging to the dark forces, which was why they rose from their graves - the devil basically hijacked their corpses.
I won't make this post much longer but I will GLADLY answer any questions because this is my special interest and I just came back from an exhibition where the author of the aforementioned book talked about all of that so. me right now ⬇️ (readmore so you dont get continuously blased with the gif under it)
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kaladinkholins · 5 months
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I just keep obsessing over how Mizu is so many things. She truly is water, so deep and unfathomable and complex, ever-changing, ever-adapting, fluid and mysterious, she fits into every shape you pour her into, she is gentle yet vicious, soft-hearted yet callous, stoic and quiet yet still sarcastic and playful.
She is Japanese and white and both and neither, she is woman and man and both and neither, she is human and demon, she is ronin and bride and Onryo and phoenix.
She is also a sword; Mizu and her sword are one.
"The sword is the soul of the samurai."
"I am... made of mixed metal. No amount of hammering can remove my impurity."
"What is a sword? [...] It is a line. On one side of the line is life. The other, death. The edge we forge cuts the line between life and death."
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Mizu's soul is thus represented by her blade, but Mizu is also
the metal: beautiful, strong, sharp, and precise, but ultimately neutral, neither good nor evil, as metal can be used to craft both weapons of death, or knives for cooking and nourishment;
the maker: artistic and passionate, the maker creates;
and the one to wield it: deadly and swift, the swordsman destroys.
In the first episode, we don't even see her blade for much of it, only mentions of it, as she doesn't even deign to fight someone like Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Ringo's noodle shop.
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Most people don't even deserve to see her blade. And who is the first person in the show whom the sword is even shown to? Well...
Taigen: "Are you afraid to fight with steel?" Mizu: "Thank you. No one has yet deserved my blade."
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And then, more crucially, who does she actually allow to wield her blade? The first person she spars with? It is none other than Mikio, her husband.
She literally passes him her sword, letting him wield it for the rest of their fight, taking his naginata in exchange. Not purely a crossing of blades, but an exchange of it. Mizu is literally baring her soul to him and putting it in his hands.
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In the whole show, the only other time we actually see someone besides Mizu holding her sword is after Mizu kills the Four Fangs and passes out from her wounds. Ringo picks the unconscious Mizu up, and in the process, her sword slips from her hand.
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And then, resisting his selfish quest to reclaim his honour, Taigen tells Ringo a safe place for Mizu to recover and follows them both there, but not before he takes Mizu's sword, and also Chiaki's broken blade.
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It is brief, but he does hold it, and the shot focusing on his hand picking it up places further emphasis on this fact.
Now, about the broken blade, @saessenach told me something very interesting, which is that when Mizu had helped craft this sword, it was made for the man she believed Chiaki was. And who exactly is that again? Let's go over the cover story he related to Master Eiji:
"I am not a swordsman. I bind books. I was taught my trade by... my father. He was killed by a drunk ronin, who cut my father down for splashing him with his cart. This ronin is a drunk, but he is skilled as I am not. He will kill me. I know this. But with a sword from you, Master, I can take his life as he takes mine. And die avenged."
So, as @saessenach so aptly put it, the broken blade "was made for a man who wanted to regain his honour from a stronger swordsman. He doesn't expect to survive the duel, but would just like to die with honour."
And doesn't that sound familiar? Like Taigen, a man who would also like to regain his honour by duelling a swordsman stronger than himself? Taigen, who had also come from nothing, who was raised not to be a samurai, but a humble fisherman, by his father who is now dead?
So of course that's why, when Taigen wields that broken blade, despite not even knowing the story behind it, Ringo unwittingly glimpses it anyway, and says this:
"Master Eiji's broken blade is a good fit for him."
Mizu just shrugs and frowns, refusing to accept it, because the sword isn't just bearing Master Eiji's signature, but also hers. A part of her is in this sword, just as a part of her is in all the blades she makes (though none of them are her soul, which is represented only by her meteorite sword).
But then later, after fighting together and barely making it out from the chasm of arrows alive, after seeing each other's skills, only then does she admit to Taigen:
"The broken blade fits well in your hand."
Which is why she (after knocking Taigen out and leaving him lying in the snow LMAO) leaves him with the broken blade, and again comments on how it "so well fits his hand."
Also, on the topic of the broken blade, why did it break again? Well, Mizu is one of the sword's makers, signing her name on it, thus putting a little of her soul into it as I already mentioned. According to Master Eiji, this process of the soul entering the sword occurs during the yaki-ire:
"The yaki-ire is when metal is reborn, and the soul enters the sword. All must be pure for the sword to be pure. The metal, the maker, the one to wield it."
As this process unfolds, this conversation happens:
Eiji: "Mizu. Is your mind clear?" Mizu: "It is." Eiji: "Mizu. Is your soul at rest?" Mizu: "It is."
However, after Master Eiji presents Mizu with the finished sword, it breaks, much to Mizu's disheartenment.
Chiaki: [About the blade being broken] "How could this happen?" Eiji: [...] "An unexpected element entered the blade." [...] Mizu: "The fault is mine. The element is me."
Mizu is right; she is "the unexpected element" that broke the blade, but not because of her race, nor her gender, but because her mind is not clear, and her soul is not at rest.
Why? Because the yaki-ire takes place right after she binds for the first time; she is in pain both physically and mentally, ashamed of who and what she is, hiding her true self, trying to smother an inherent part of her identity.
Then, about Bloodsoaked Chiaki wielding a sword which is broken, Master Eiji says this,
"A soul like that is drowned in blood. There is no stopping them. They will always find their broken blade."
This parallels Mizu breaking her blade after her rampage through the nine levels of Shindo and Fowler's fortress, after she gets literally soaked in blood.
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After storming the fortress, her blade, too, is broken, and she is unable to melt it down and repair it.
Master Eiji: "Your sword broke because the blend was wrong." Mizu: "It was perfect." Master Eiji: "It was too pure. Your metal wants to be blended with new steel."
The sword, as, Mizu's soul, houses all the rage that has festered over the years. The purity of its meteorite steel represents her single-minded, hate-driven goal for vengeance.
On that note, it's interesting to remember that the meteor fell in front of Mizu during her confrontation with Taigen and his gang of bullies. That encounter was the beginning of her rage, the moment she stopped running and hiding, and instead fought back, clawing and throwing herself at the people who mistreated her. The meteorite thus represents her anger, her fighting spirit, her resistance.
Over time, she crafts her sword--her soul--purely out of this anger, and sets off on her revenge quest.
Of course, she then meets her mother, gets married to Mikio, and after their betrayals, Mizu once again resumes her quest.
But after her journey seeking Fowler, after meeting Ringo and Taigen and Akemi, Mizu's soul no longer feels singularly bound to her hate. She's made friends, she's starting to let people in, but she still suppresses those feelings, still insisting that she is just an Onryo, that she has no room for love or friendship or weakness, despite the fact that those are things her soul craves and needs deep down. She needs gentleness and respite, she needs to allow herself to be vulnerable and allow herself to love again, because she's not a demon--or at least not completely.
"There may be a demon in you..."
When Master Eiji says this to Mizu, he's not insulting her; by demon here, what he is referencing is the part of Mizu that is capable of great wrath and violence. Just like a demon is.
"...But there is more."
Mizu is still a human being. And she should let herself be one, should allow herself to feel more than just rage, but also joy, grief, love, and even pain.
"If you do not invite the whole, the demon takes two chairs."
So that's when she finally allows herself to start "allowing the whole"; she stands in front of the fire completely naked, no longer suppressing her true self, and melts the metal of those she collected, which are, in order,
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the broken blade that now represents Taigen;
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Akemi's knife;
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Ringo's bell;
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and Master Eiji's tongs.
These are people whom she cares about, who compel her to open herself up and see beyond her hate, who make her feel like she is capable of being more than just a demon.
By blending their steel into her future sword, she is accepting them, and the lessons and values they had taught her along the way, into her soul.
But as it stands now, Mizu does not have that sword. Not yet, for it's yet to be forged, as she gives the blended metal to Master Eiji.
Mizu: "If I succeed [to kill Fowler] and am still alive, I will return. And you can determine if I am worthy of a sword of this metal, made by your hand."
Which is why, in the finale, Mizu only fights with a random assortment of weapons she picks up (a sword, a naginata, a gun--but never shoots it--and the dagger Fowler stabs her with).
And then of course, Fowler drops the big reveals about Skeffington and Routeley; about her birth mother having been killed by one of the white men; about her Mama actually being a maid who was paid to keep her hidden.
With all this, there is so much she's still yet to know about who she is, who her parents are, and her identity is left hanging. So she leaves Japan not only to kill the remaining white men, but also to discover more about herself and her heritage--her white half. And this also mirrors the way she looks at the very end:
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her hair grown out, her bangs identical to how she looked as a child; no longer wearing a scarf around her neck, no longer covering a part of herself.
Thus, Mizu will eventually receive her new sword that matches the new state of her soul, made of steel that "could kill a god."
But for now, she needs to understand who she really is, to discover the full breadth and complexities of the metal that made her, and the hidden depths within herself. In doing so, she must also learn to accept her anger as a tool, but cannot let it control her lest she become a demon; thus, she must allow herself to love as much as she hates, and most of all, simply let herself be.
Only then, can she claim her sword--her soul.
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geekgirles · 1 year
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I seriously think Emmelyn's role is going to be pivotal in giving Unicorn back their humanity and empathy.
As seen at the end of A Fateful Encounter and the beginning of What Lies Beneath, Emmelyn was more proficient with her powers and more effective when Melinda took control of their body. She immediately gave chase to the Evil, cornered her and was about to vanquish her once more, all by herself...
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...until she saw the damage her powers caused to that poor family's home and lives.
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From then on, it's Emma who asserts herself over Melinda's soul again, horrified at the damage she caused.
But here's the thing, she's the only member of Unicorn who pays the poor woman and her kids any mind. Edred, despite witnessing the state the house is in, quickly brushes it off because Melinda let the Evil escape, not once sparing a glance to the innocent people whose lives they just essentially ruined.
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And that seems to be Unicorn's recurring flaw: they are so laser-focused on defeating the Evil in the name of humanity, they tend to overlook the individuals they're supposed to be trying to help.
This episode showcased this brilliantly: when Melinda's fire destroyed the bridge and threatened with harming lots of innocents, Edred and Copernicus were quick to solve the problem. The civilians even cheered for them!
But when it comes to dealing with people's problems individually, they tend to disregard them in the name of the greater good. Unicorn will do what's objectively right or best, which is usually the needs of many over one person's issues or desires, but they won't stop to think about the possible consequences of their actions beyond vanquishing the Evil.
This is especially prevalent during Emma and Melinda's confrontation last episode. Through Melinda's callous treatment of Emma and refusal to see things from her point of view, as she is devoted to their cause and Emma's refusal to merge with her directly threatens their mission, she also fails to understand asserting herself over Emma only serves in alienating her more.
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If only Melinda had tried a gentler approach in explaining to Emma she is not responsible for the turn her life took but they really need to work together or hers won't be the only life that prematurely comes to an end, then chances are Emma wouldn't be resisting her and her powers as much as she's doing right now.
Edred has this same problem too, as evidenced through his interactions with Winston. Instead of explaining that the woman he loves isn't exactly there anymore, he coldly tries to push him aside, to get him to leave Emmelyn alone. He doesn't even try to relate to the boy's problem, even when they're essentially one and the same! Both Edred and Winston are terrified of losing their beloved because she's not acting like herself and, no matter what they do, she is constantly pushing them away. But because Edred has grown unaffected by people's struggles outside of saving them from the Evil, not helped by the fact that his actions are also fuelled by jealousy, he makes no effort to sympathise with Winston or even offer an apology or words of comfort. He just wants him out of their way and away from Melinda.
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But with Emmelyn, it's precisely the fact that Emma can actually get Melinda to snap out of it and take control over their body that she realised their current actions are doing more harm than good to the people they're supposed to protect. Meaning, once she explains to the others why she's holding back, how fully giving in to Melinda means more people will suffer in the long run unless they start doing things differently, maybe it'll help Edred, Seng, and Copernicus realise they need to understand those they're trying to protect better and that tackling things as a whole won't always be the answer. Otherwise, they're only going to do more harm than good and, as with their reincarnations, the cycle will only begin once more.
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vikkirosko · 1 year
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Hi! I was wondering if you could maybe write something for Hazbin Hotel / Helluva Boss? It would be some romantic headcanons for Angel Dust, Alastor, Vaggie + Charlie (poly), Sir Pentious and Lucifer with a very flirty Spanish!reader. The reader loves to call them Spanish nicknames like Chico/Chica lindo/a, hermoso/a, precioso/a y Mi Amor.
Headcanons Flirty spaniard
🌈 Charlie Morningstar x Reader x Vaggie 🎀
Of all three participants in your relationship, you were the most flirtatious, at least in relation to Charlie and Vaggie. You were affectionate and often complimented them. Quite often your compliments were in Spanish, which was your native language. It didn't bother you when others didn't understand you. Usually you spoke in your native language only when you wanted to hide something from others, but when you talked to Charlie and Vaggie, you often complimented them in Spanish and called them affectionate nicknames
You often called Charlie "hermosa estrella". You compared her to a guiding star that illuminated your path in such a dark place as Hell. Every time you called her that, an embarrassed smile appeared on her lips. This nickname seemed nice to her, and your coquetry in her address sometimes caused her to laugh sincerely
Vaggie got the nickname "hermosa guerrera" from you. She reminded you of the warrior maidens from the old legends that you read once. At first she treated your words with skepticism, but over time she began to treat it much more calmly. Vaggie, just like you, spoke Spanish, so she perfectly understood every word you said. When you needed to discuss something but you didn't want others to know what you were talking about, you started speaking in Spanish
It wasn't a matter of principle for you to compliment them in Spanish, but when it came to cute nicknames, you preferred to say them in Spanish. It was something special for you, because you could speak to everyone in English, but only Charlie and Vaggie were affectionately called in your native language
🕷 Angel Dust x Reader 💖
Angel usually spoke English, rarely switching to Italian, so when he heard you speak Spanish, he became interested in it. He didn't really understand the meaning of what you were saying, but some of the words were familiar to him. It was only when you got closer that you were happy to translate everything you said to him, especially if you told him different tender words
You were flirtatious and often called him by various affectionate nicknames, but most often you called him "precioso chico". He liked it when you called him that and when you spoke Spanish. You often translated to him the curses that you said to those who annoyed you, and Angel had fun from it. He liked the fact that you didn't hide what you thought about others, even though you expressed it with the help of Spanish
Pretty quickly Angel got nicknames for you in Italian. You both gradually learned each other's languages, which allowed you to better understand what you or he wanted to say. When you started to speak non-English, it was as if there was a special atmosphere between you. Few people dared to destroy this atmosphere when sparks seemed to fly between you
You both flirted a lot with each other and both were burning with emotions and fire in the soul. It didn't matter to you what language you spoke to each other, what you talked about was much more important
📻 Alastor x Reader 🎙
Alastor is used to hearing other languages. When he was a man, he met people who spoke a variety of languages, but he himself spoke English and a little French. He didn't immediately understand that you were speaking in Spanish, but pretty quickly he understood what language you were speaking, because you usually spoke in Spanish when you addressed him, calling him by his nickname, or when flirting with him
Alastor always treated your flirting with laughter, regardless of whether you spoke English or Spanish. He knew from your tone exactly what you wanted to tell him. Quite often you called him "guapo". Some even thought that you called Alastor that just to annoy him, because he didn't always like nicknames, but he was more relaxed about what you gave him
Sometimes you arranged small games during which you spoke words to each other in Spanish and French and guessed the meanings of words. You played this game when Alastor was busy cooking and you used this game to flirt and compliment him. He didn't interrupt your game, and you didn't cross the line, knowing full well that Alastor was dangerous even without a weapon in his hands and that he shouldn't be too exasperated
Alastor had fun watching you flirt with him. He liked spending time with you and your flirting couldn't spoil it. You were an interesting person who made his existence in Hell a little more interesting than before you met
🐍Sir Pentious x Reader 🎩
When you appeared in Pentious' life, at first he treated you with mild irritation. He was sure that every time you started speaking Spanish, you said nasty things about him and generally did it just to annoy him. However, when you started dating, he found out that all this time you were flirting with him in your native language
You often flirted with him. You were one of the most flirtatious people he knew, but he was pleased to receive so much attention from you. You often began to give him various cute nicknames in Spanish. You didn't have any one nickname for him, but you often called him affectionate Spanish words that he managed to remember and understood exactly what they meant
You courageously flirted with him even if his minions were watching you. You did not consider the manifestation of feelings to be something bad, and even more so than something that needed to be hidden. Pentious was embarrassed by this at first, but pretty quickly his embarrassment passed and he proudly said that you were dating
Pentious was with so flirty person for the first time and he liked it. He liked the attention you gave him and he liked it when you said kind words to him. You made his life better and made his heart beat faster
🍎 Lucifer Morningstar x Reader 🐍
From the first day of your acquaintance, Lucifer felt like a special connection between you. He always smiled at you and when you started flirting with him, he reacted positively to it. He became even more interested when he found out that your native language was Spanish. He found out about it when you started flirting with him in Spanish, which aroused his special interest
Over the very long years of his life, Lucifer was called differently, but when you started calling him affectionate nicknames in Spanish, he felt a special warmth. It wasn't the nicknames themselves, but the fact that it was you who said them. You called him affectionate, tender words in Spanish, but he was sure that if someone else called him the same way, it wouldn't have the same effect as when you did it
Quite often you called him "mi Amor". It wasn't the only nickname you called him, but it was the one you used most often. Every time it made Lucifer smile, because he knew that you were trying to show him your feelings for him in this way
Lucifer liked it when you flirted with him and he did it in return. Sometimes it seemed to him that your Spanish gave your communication a special charm, but he did not dwell on it, realizing that regardless of whether you spoke Spanish or English, it was still you and that was the main thing
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Sword gays showdown preliminaries
Propaganda:
For Kazuma Asogi:
ok so he’s not CANONICALLY queer but it’s ace attorney. so… he does, however, canonically have a katana! a sword so integral to the plot it gives me shivers just thinking about it. the sword also has a name, it’s karuma (translates roughly to karma) and it gets passed onto the main character, ryunosuke naruhodo (who he calls partner), after kazuma (spoiler alert) dies in case 1-2. except (SUPER spoiler alert!) he isn’t dead! he comes back in case 2-3 and would you look at that he has ANOTHER SWORD, a more european sword (cause he ended up in england after his amnesia brain said he REALLY had to go to england). once he gets his memories back, ryunosuke gives karuma back to him and proceeds to use it to destroy the wax figure of his dead presumed serial killer dad (long story), and now he has, you guessed it, TWO SWORDS! for the next two cases he wears both swords at his sides, and also he broke the tip off of karuma attempting to murder someone (he didn’t actually murder anyone but still) and then turns out karuma’s hilt has the REAL serial killer’s will in it. very VERY important sword. in the end, kazuma gives karuma back to ryunosuke which is really symbolic but that’s besides the point, and they cross swords and it’s a whole big thing. 10/10 gay sword guy.
For Raiden:
Man catches knives with his heels and uses a sword to cut through robots 20 times his size
He's such a tragic character! Raised to be a super soldier from birth and is constantly being exploited by the government. As for the lgbt part him and his rival in the latest game he's in have so much tension it's unreal (gay). I headcanon him as trans too because he has a feminine figure, his voice gets more masculine as the series goes on (testosterone) and his entire body gets replaced with cybernetics (trans allegory...)
For Claudine Saijou:
Fights with a longsword! Should be number 1 for this line alone: “For heroes, there are trials. For saints, there are temptations. For me, there is you”, said to def not her girl crush but rival btw (stream Revue of Soul) Vote for my disaster theatre kid its what she deserves!
Her gay levels are off the charts. She has a homoerotic rivalry with another classmate (Maya Tendo/Tendou Maya) that is integral to her character, as she was always first until she met Maya. She’s also half-French, but that’ll be important later. When she’s looking at pictures of Maya stretching (to study her form of course) and another character asks her what she’s looking at, she panics, blushes, and says none of your business. Her and Maya have a heartfelt conversation while stretching with Claudine’s face pressed into Maya’s chest (between her stomach and breasts). Some art from a magazine has Maya pushing Claudine into a deep stretch, but it looks like something a lot different (Claudine blushing doesn’t help. Also I realized that there’s a lot of gay stuff related to stretching with these two).
During a two on two duel (I know it’s not a duel), they fight together. Not only that, but at one point they hold hands and take a pose typical of romantic partners in dancing. For no reason. They just pause and do it to show off. They aren’t even fighting. Anyways, when they lose, Claudine starts crying, not because she lost, but because Maya lost. So, of course, Maya starts speaking to her in French, with one of the things she says being “You’re cute even when you cry, my Claudine.” All of this is stuff that’s happened in the series (except the magazine thing).
Now for the gay stuff in the movie. Their duel with each other is so dense with sapphic undertones they can hardly be called undertones. For starters, the song that accompanies this revue is called “A Beautiful Person, or Perhaps it is.” While this title is incomplete, the director states that he wanted the watcher to fill it in and this removed the end of the original title. That title is “A Beautiful Person, or Perhaps it is a Love Song.” The duel is framed as a fight between a hero (Maya) and a devil (Claudine). Maya is in an outfit reminiscent of Renaissance Italy and Claudine is in a suit. Thus, Maya signs a contract giving her soul over to Claudine, as is the case with marriage. With her own blood, in the shape of Position Zero (an important symbol in the show), which happens to look like a T, for Tendou. After a few minutes of fighting, Maya disappears and monologues, appearing in a white dress. This means that Maya has signed her soul over to Claudine, and they are now both wearing a white dress and suit. Not beating the gay marriage allegations. Maya finished her monologue with “For heroes, there are trials. For saints, there are temptations. For me, there is a devil.” They continue to fight, Maya proclaiming herself emotionless and empty. Maya then cuts the medallion from Claudine’s chest (they wear medallions and you lose the duel if it gets cut off).
Claudine falls. Maya attempts to claim victory by stabbing her sword into Position Zero, which is then covered by steel doors. Claudine sits up and reveals she has another medallion in her mouth, which she does by sticking out her tongue in a uhhhh. Anyways, after a bit of back and forth, Claudine tells Maya that she’s full of arrogance and pride and envy and longing. She then says that “No matter how many times I die, I will revive! Tendou Maya! To beat you, my rival, into submission!” She then makes her stage entrance, taking Maya’s usual entrance speech and mocking it. She also says “I fill myself with exploding passion, now, and bash it into your heart!” After some talking, Maya makes her stage entrance, taking Claudine’s usual entrance speech and mocking it. Up until now, they have been playing characters, but still letting their own emotions shine through. Now, they are entirely themselves.
They begin to fight again, running downs white aisle before clashing swords, with Maya saying “Such an ugly, emotion drenched appearance-“ and is cut off by Claudine, who says “Show me more, Tendou Maya! Right now, you’re the cutest you’ve ever been!” To which Maya responds “I’m always cute!”  The song starts up again (duels are accompanied by songs), with Maya singing “With a grin of deception I’ll tear this piece of cloth.” Deception in Japanese is mayakashi, a reference to Maya’s name. Maya then sings “I want to show you my feelings becoming dyed in black.” Black is Kuro in Japanese. Claudine, in Katakana, is Kurodine, with her nickname being Kuro, so that line could also be interpreted “I want to show you my feelings becoming dyed in you.” Claudine then sings “Only me, always, forever,” before they sing in unison “You only need to look at me,” as they lock blades. Some fighting happens and they’re falling through the sky, holding onto each others clothes and Claudine says “Only I can make you lay everything bare!” To which Maya responds “I’ll expose my everything, on the stage!” Claudine shoots back with “There’s a partner you can expose everything to, on the stage!” At this point, there’s a short time with independent vocals for Maya and Claudine in addition to their talking. Maya has been singing “If I’m on the stage, if I’m in front of you,” for the last two lines of dialogue. Claudine sings “Be it ugly or beautiful,” as Maya sings “I will expose, anything and everything, all of me, all of me.” As this happens, Maya is saying “We love the stage,” which is continued by Claudine saying “And we can’t part from the stage!” Maya calls them both “Pathetic clowns!” To which Claudine corrects “No, rivals!” Maya says “If you’re there, I have to strive higher!” Claudine says “You make me even more beautiful! Maya!” Maya then yells “Claudine!” Claudine yells “For heroes, there are trials!” Maya continues “For saints, there are temptations!” Then, as one, their swords crossed, faces inches from each other, yell “For me, there is you!” Over top of this, their voices sing a line in unison: “Forever and ever, I’d like to cross swords with you.”
Claudine’s sword stabs through the contract, through the Position Zero in blood, which may be Maya’s family name, and Maya says as an aside “Saijou Claudine… You are beautiful.” Claudine cuts the medallion from Maya’s chest, finally beating her rival.
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girls-alias · 5 months
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Christmas Wish - Dean Winchester
Title: Christmas Wish - Dean Winchester Words: 2,959 Relations: Dean Winchester X reader. TW: Christmas chapter.
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I walked with my friend in the mall. We were doing last-minute shopping for Christmas when we stumbled upon the mall fountain. She chuckled bringing my attention to it. It had been decorated for Christmas with a big sign explaining that throwing a coin into the fountain and making a wish would come true on Christmas day. She's superstitious so she pulled two coins from her pocket, a wide smile on her face. I accepted one of the coins reluctantly with a sad smile. I know exactly what I'm going to wish for, it's the same thing I always wish for.
I held the coin tightly, putting my heart and soul into the wish. Mentally begging it to come true. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.
"I wish Dean would find me," I thought to myself before throwing the coin and watching as it sunk to the bottom of the fountain floor. I sighed knowing that this wish was no different from all the other times I had wished. Just like always I knew I was going to be let down. Dean Winchester was the one who got away.
It was a classic case of the right person but the wrong time. Dean and I had been hunting together when Sam was in college, we were somewhat young and irresponsible but we were a team. After 2 years we finally started dating, it was perfect, it was natural and amazing. We only experienced it for a month before his dad disappeared and Dean had to ask Sam for help. We tried long distance for a little while but with both of us constantly hunting and Dean's new mission of finding the yellow-eyed demon, we didn't work out.
We agreed mutually that it was a bad time and it only hurt more knowing we were separate. We both cried, we told stories and all I needed was his arms around me, reassuring me but unfortunately, we had to do it over the phone as we were on opposite sides of the country.
I know I should forget about him and should have fully moved on in the 11 years since I've seen him but no man ever compares to him. He's ruined my views on relationships because I haven't had a single boyfriend as good as Dean. There was a time I stayed adamant to keep my phone number so he could always reach me but when I was fighting a small gang of vampires, my phone and SIM card were destroyed. It ruined me but it had been years since I had heard from him and so I should have let it go by that point.
My best friend woke up early to wave me off as I left. She doesn't know that I hunt monsters, she thinks I'm a pilot so it explains why I'm gone for weeks and sometimes months. It also gives me an excuse to not have a fixed address as I explained I would rather stay in hotels so that I don't have to pay for electricity in a house I won't be in. She's not the smartest person I know so it makes it a little easier lying to her. She'll believe anything.
My friend tried insisting that I stay for Christmas but monsters don't rest, I don't have time. It was the day before Christmas Eve when I left, much to her dismay. We'd already exchanged gifts and she's amazing. She knows I never buy new clothes so any holiday for exchanging gifts she gets me a new wardrobe. It comes in handy as I often get clothes ruined when I'm hunting but sometimes she gets me things I wouldn't be able to fight in.
I stopped in a motel in East Iowa, I had seen suspicious activity on the news which made me think it was a possible shapeshifter. They're a pain in the ass but someone's got to do it. I tried checking in, and getting a room for the night but they explained they were booked full for the next couple of days. Not ideal but I'll just have to live in my car for a little while.
The hunt was tedious, but it was quick as the shifter was sloppy and I killed the shifter in the early hours of Christmas morning. After living in my car, it soon became apparent I had an issue with my car. I had stopped in a diner car park, opening the bonnet to take a look. I soon came to the realisation I either had a leak in the coolant tank or a clogged heater core and so needed replacements. I asked in the diner if there were any mechanics open or somewhere I could get car parts on Christmas day. I was given the address and directions to a salvage yard that never seemed to close.
*********
I pulled up to the salvage yard, finding it was a house on the property. I stopped the car, assessing the house as I wondered if I should leave since they were probably celebrating Christmas and didn't want to disturb the owner. I sighed knowing I couldn't keep sleeping in my cold car. I climbed out of the car and approached the front door. I knocked lightly and checked the time on my watch making sure it wasn't too early to be knocking. The door opened to an older gentleman looking at me a little confused, I smiled politely.
"Hi, I just need some car parts. If it's not a good time, I can just go," I explained but he chuckled, shaking his head.
"Don't worry, you need a hand?" He asked but I shook my head.
"I'll be okay, I'm just having an issue with either my coolant tank or I have a clogged heating core so I'll just look for replacements," I explained but he nodded with a smile.
"I'll help, it might be easier finding it together," He explained, stepping inside to grab a jacket.
"Oh, you don't have to. I realise it's Christmas and you're probably celebrating with family," I explained but he chuckled.
"Nah, my two boys are out of state, we're not big on Christmas," He explained making me a little sad he was alone and I smiled sadly as I nodded.
"I totally get it, I don't have family so Christmas is just another day to me," I explained as he stepped out, leading me to the scrap cars.
“So you’re doing nothing today?” He asked as he popped the hood of a close by car. I chuckled as I did the same with another car.
“Yeah, I’ll be on the road again.” I shrugged. Happily getting my hands dirty as I checked the car.
“Well, why don’t you stay here? We may be strangers but I’ll cook you a warm meal.” He explained and I was touched by his sentiment.
“Maybe I will. I’m Y/N,” I explained, holding my hand out for him to shake. We didn’t care about the oil on our hands and shook them with a smile.
“Bobby,” he explained.
*******
Bobby and I had found the parts. He helped me install the parts and after letting the car run a while it was perfect. I tried paying Bobby but he refused. His argument was that I was making his Christmas more bearable.
We went inside, Bobby was wondering what to make for Christmas dinner as he hadn't prepared anything special. I walked into his lounge following him as he explained he would have a microwave meal.
"I don't mind having a microwave meal with you, I quite like them and I can always-" I stopped as I looked to the ceiling surprised. Bobby seemed to notice my silence as he turned around to look at me confused before following my line of sight. He seemed stunned silent as if he couldn't think of a lie. "You're a hunter too?" I asked, pointing to the devil trap painted onto the ceiling. He smiled happily.
"Thank God, I had no excuse ready." He chuckled, relaxing as he took a seat at his desk.
"Wait, You're a hunter and your name is Bobby. You don't know Dean Winchester, do you?" I asked it's a long shot but -
"Yeah, I practically raised him. Sam too. They're my boys I mentioned earlier." He explained a little confused before his eyes widened. "Y/N Y/L/N?" He asked. I was shocked he knew of me. Either Dean has talked about me in the past and he had a great memory or he's heard of me from someone else. Weird coincidence though. I nodded softly. His lips curled into a wide grin. "I've been looking for you for years!" He exclaimed excitedly shocking me as he jumped up to grab his phone.
"Looking for me why?" I asked, worry filling me as I wondered if this whole thing might be a trap.
"Sam asked me to track you down so you and Dean can meet again, he's never shut up about you. He thought you died," He explained as he started dialling the phone before freezing. "Do you want to see him?" He asked. I grinned at the news. Dean never stopped talking about me, he was looking for me. Oh my God. This can't be real. What are the odds?
"Yeah, I always wondered what happened to him," I replied playing it cool but inside I was doing cartwheels, dancing, hell, I was even doing back flips. Am I really going to see Dean again after all these years?
Bobby called Sam and explained that he found me and to bring Dean, we would get some food for making Christmas dinner. He excitedly explained he wanted to make it a real Christmas. Sam said it would be a few hours before they could get here, around 7PM but was more than happy to make the trip.
Bobby put me in charge of decorating as I helped him get everything from the attack and he was quick to leave to see what food he could get. I felt a mixture of anxiety and excitement as I remembered the Christmas wish I had made in the fountain, never believing it would actually come true. But here I am, decorating a stranger's house, food soon coming, Dean, the love of my life on his way. I worried about how he might react to seeing me. I worried I wouldn't be the same or maybe he wouldn't but I always knew he was the right person, wrong time but now might be the right time.
*******
Bobby was back after a few hours. Nowhere was open but picked up a menu from a restaurant that was open and happy to deliver. He helped me finish putting up the decorations before he shooed me off to dress nicer. I laughed as I went back to my car, deciding to move it to the back of the house so he wouldn't see it. He hasn't seen this car but I don't want him suspicious someone else is here. It might ruin the surprise. I changed into a nice dress my best friend had got me and mentally thanked her for getting it for me. I figured it would be good somewhere along the way if I had to work undercover but those kinds of jobs hardly ever come up.
*******
Bobby was more excited than me. He had given me a glass of whiskey for liquid luck but he soon tipped the bottom of my glass as I was taking a drink, the car was pulling in and he wanted me out of sight but for me to have finished my drink. He grabbed the glass from me and guided me to the dining room before closing the double doors with a wide smile.
I listened as Bobby greeted them at the door, my stomach doing flips as I heard Dean's voice. I took a deep breath, stabilising myself as I felt like I was dreaming.
"Hey, Bobby. Merry Christmas," Dean commented as he entered the room behind the double doors. I waited anxiously as I knew only the wooden doors were the only things separating us.
"Merry Christmas boys," I heard Bobby add with some shuffling sounds as if they were exchanging hugs. "I've got you some gifts under the tree but Dean, yours is in the dining room," Bobby explained.
"Thanks, Bobby. You didn't have to," Another voice explained happily and I knew it must be Sam. "We've got you a small bag of presents in the car," He added making Bobby chuckle.
"Thank you, I think Dean should get his first and then we can have a drink," Bobby explained, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
"We'll drink first," Dean seemed to shrug.
"Drinks after," Bobby insisted. There seemed to be a little silence before I heard footsteps approach the door. I took a deep breath, instantly worried and unsure how to stand. I decided to clasp my hands together and let them fall in front of me. The doors opened.
Standing in all his glory was Dean Winchester. The love of my life, the man I pined over for 11 years. He looked confused but as his eyes found mine he broke into a wide smile. He hurried to me. Engulfing me in a tight hug as he rocked us side to side slightly. I giggled as I hugged him back. My arms wrapped over his shoulders as he squeezed me tightly. I forgot how tall he actually was until he straightened up and lifted me off the floor for a second.
He buried his face into the crook of my neck, his smiling cheeks noticeable against my skin. He pulled away, his hands still on me as he didn't want to be far. "What are you doing here? You're alive, I can't believe you're alive. How did this happen?" He asked excitedly. I chuckled as I admired him. He hasn't changed for the worst, he's even more handsome than I remember, he's more rugged and definitely still the epitome of my type.
"I had car troubles, it was a complete coincidence," I explained as his smile never faded. He pulled me back into a hug making me chuckle. I hugged him back, squealing as he lifted me from the ground again and kept me up. He's still strong. God, if only he knew what he was doing to me. I noticed Bobby and a tall guy smiling as they watched us. "Hi, Sam. It's nice to meet you," I chuckled as Dean's grip didn't waver. He chuckled.
"Nice to meet you too," He added. Dean spun around so I was facing the other way. I heard the doors closing as he took one hand from around me to close the doors. I chuckled a little nervous as to why he wanted to be alone with me but it also made butterflies flutter in my stomach. He held me up with one arm, he didn't struggle and didn't seem to even consider putting me down.
Once the doors were closed, he put me down. His hands cupped my face as he admired my eyes. "I've been waiting for you," He explained, my insides turning to mush. I smiled.
"Me too," I added, he grinned at my words.
"Good," He swooped down, connecting our lips in a passionate kiss. I swooned as his lips graced mine. The kiss I had dreamed of for years. The kiss I had imagined so many times. The kiss no other compared to. He smiled against my lips as my hands move to the back of his neck to hold him close to me. One of his hands moved to my hip, pulling my body against his. I pulled away slowly when I heard Bobby and Sam snickering to themselves probably talking about us. Dean seemed reluctant to pull away.
"We can't just ignore them," I explained but he looked disappointed. I chuckled as I shook my head. "It's Christmas," I added so he playfully rolled his eyes but his smile never left his lips. He pulled me back into a sweet kiss before pulling away again.
"Be my girlfriend again and I'll stop ignoring them," He hinted, his smile turning to a smirk. I blushed at his words knowing I had never wanted anything more in my life. I nodded a little too excitedly. He chuckled as he connected our lips, celebrating the rekindling of our relationship after 11 years. I should have made the wish in the fountain years ago.
*****
It was the best Christmas I ever had. We ordered Chinese food they opened presents, we exchanged hunting stories and acted like a real family. As the night was winding down, Sam took one of the spare rooms while Dean and I took the other. I worried he would want to make up for all the nights we had missed but as soon as we were in the room alone his arms never let go of me. We cuddled all night and it was the best sleep I remember ever having.
We stayed at Bobby's a few days before Sam and Dean had to go back on the road. Dean rode in my car, kissing me when I stopped but holding my thigh the whole time I was driving. He still looks at me the same way he used to, the love in his eyes only seemed to grow as we spent more time together. He had only changed for the better but he was still the same and loving man I had fallen for. He's still perfect for me.
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sensualnoiree · 3 months
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astro notes: mars ☄️
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Mars, known as the Red Planet, is considered one of the personal planets, along with Mercury, Venus, and the Moon. It is also one of the inner planets, which are closer to the Earth and have a more immediate influence on personal experiences and day-to-day events. Mars is the ruling planet of Aries and Scorpio.
Mars in Aries: Mars is at home in Aries, making individuals with this placement assertive, energetic, and eager to take on challenges. Masculine fiery energy. Mars in Aries embodies the warrior archetype, representing the qualities of courage, strength, and the willingness to fight for what is right. This archetype is not about aggression but about standing up for one's beliefs and principles.
Mars in Scorpio: Mars is also in its domicile and quite strong in Scorpio, where its energy is more intense and focused, often leading to a deep and passionate nature. Feminine Watery energy. Mars in Scorpio is expressed as the willpower needed to confront and overcome the deepest, darkest aspects of the self. This process can lead to spiritual growth and enlightenment, as the individual learns to transcend their ego and align with their higher self.
Mars embodies the qualities of fire, but not just any fire – it's the fire of the forge, where raw materials are heated, shaped, and transformed into something new and useful. Mars' energy is dynamic, active, and forward-moving, representing the drive to create, conquer, and achieve.
Often associated with principle of "solve et coagula," representing the cyclical nature of creation and destruction. This process is essential for growth and evolution, as old forms must be broken down to make way for new ones.
Mars' relationship with sulfur symbolizes the transformative aspect of its energy. This transformative process can be likened to the Phoenix rising from the ashes, where destruction leads to rebirth and renewal.
Mars also represents the inner alchemical process of transmuting base instincts into higher virtues. This process requires courage, discipline, and the willingness to face one's shadows.
Mars is often linked to the element of fire, representing its intense, dynamic, and transformative energy. This fire is not destructive but rather creative, like the fire of a blacksmith's forge that shapes raw materials into useful tools.
Mars' association with fire also relates to energy and vitality. It symbolizes the life force that drives us to take action, pursue our desires, and overcome obstacles.
Mars' fiery nature is also associated with passion and desire. While these qualities can be intense and consuming, they are also essential for driving us toward our goals and aspirations. The harsher aspects of Mars, including war, death, and destruction, play a complex role in its symbolism and significance. These aspects are not inherently "bad" but are part of the broader spectrum of Mars' energies, which encompass both the constructive and destructive forces in the universe. War, in the context of Mars, symbolizes conflict and struggle. This can be both external (physical conflicts between nations or individuals) and internal (psychological battles within oneself). From an alchemical perspective, war can be seen as a metaphor for the transformative power of conflict. Just as metals are forged in the heat of battle, individuals can be transformed and strengthened through the challenges they face.
Death, in the context of Mars, symbolizes endings and new beginnings. It represents the cyclical nature of life, where old forms must be destroyed to make way for new growth. It can also symbolize release and liberation from the limitations of the physical world. It represents the shedding of old habits, beliefs, and attachments that no longer serve us.
It represents the fiery crucible of the soul, where the ego is purified and the true self is forged. Mars teaches us to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, to channel our energy into productive pursuits, and to cultivate the inner strength needed to overcome adversity.
Here we experience the alchemical process of turning lead into gold – the transformation of the mundane self into the divine self through the fires of purification and the hammer blows of experience.
follow for more astro insights like this and support me over on yt @quenysefields or instagram sensualnoiree
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aardvaark · 9 months
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only murders in the building s3e8 spoilers ahead!
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this is the best photo i could get of the strips of paper that have been pieced together so far. all we can see is:
"02/16/2023
mmence on
sion, and
until and
(line gap)
society,
performing
composer
however,
right to
where it"
now that’s… fairly vague, lol. not too much to be gathered, except that it relates to the play itself - words like "performing" and "composer" seem to show that. in other words, it’s probably not the autopsy report or someone’s diary. the first unfinished word is probably "commence". this makes it sound formal. again, unlikely to be a diary or a letter to a close friend or something.
so what could it be? personally, my current standing theory is that it’s Maxine’s review. i have a few reasons for this:
we know that Maxine has written a review. yes, she was originally writing by hand and her pen ran out of ink, but she mentions in episode 2 that it was some of her best writing which sounds like she had finished it later, plus it’s her job to write these reviews, im sure she must have finished it. and so there exists a "vitriolic" absolute pan of the play somewhere. one that we’ve never seen and which Maxine didn’t show to Oliver. maybe we can’t see it because it’s been shredded.
the language, from the small bits we can see, would make sense for a review. first she states when the play "commences" for its opening night. then she reviews the various elements of the play, such as the "performing" and notes things like who the "composer" is and whether they did a good job. the word "however" makes me think that the writer is giving some sort of a negative opinion there. which, you know, is what the review is.
Maxine is a character we were introduced to in the second episode but really haven’t explored. i don’t necessarily think she is the murderer; in fact, i can’t even think of a motive she’d have. but, i think they introduced her for a reason.
a scathing review could absolutely generate anger or violence in someone. imagine you’ve put your heart and soul into your performance or crew role for months, only to get insulted and for the show to be an utter failure. it could mean the end of your career or the loss of a lot of money.
but even if it is Maxine’s review, and even if someone was upset by it, why would that lead to Ben’s death? i do have a theory for that. it might not be the correct one, but it’s my best shot at the moment:
Cliff and Donna (the mother and son producer people) have repeatedly expressed that this play is high stakes for them. it’s Cliff’s producing debut and they need it to be perfect. the problem is, the show was far from perfect - something that they may have already realised to an extent, but which that pan confirmed. plus, a terrible review by a famous reviewer would lose them money and reputation. if one or both of them got their hands on Maxine’s review, it makes sense that they’d destroy it and want to put an end to the show in a way that can’t be blamed on them. an accidental death on stage - with the autopsy report altered to day there wasn’t any poison, and we know it was altered cause it was negative for meth - would solve their problem, as well as draw them a lot of press attention (any publicity is good publicity), and finally, would prevent the review from ever being published because no one would publish a scathing review of a recently deceased young man’s performance. i can imagine that the producers would have access to and knowledge about the set and theatre, which would allow for the spooky ghost stuff that seemed like more than a coincidence in "Ghost Light". they’d also have access to Ben’s room to plant the poison cookies (because c’mon, he was clearly talking to a plate of cookies in the dressing room video).
additionally, Donna’s speech to Loretta in the bathroom makes me suspect her more. and Loretta’s song, while clearly more about sacrificing herself for her own son in that moment, could double as meaning that Donna would kill for Cliff’s sake to protect his reputation in the industry. and as Loretta says, poisoning as a murder method tends to point to a woman murderer - this is actually true according to data on homicides. Donna is a woman, she would do anything for her son, the review would ruin his reputation in her mind, she poisons Ben to end the play.
then there’s Ben’s apologies in episode 1. to Cliff… well, he forgets Cliff’s name for one thing, and then he basically just says he’s sorry for being so annoying to them and complaining about his dressing room. then he continues to complain about his dressing room before moving on.
while Donna may have done the first murder, i don’t think she did the second. perhaps it was Cliff, pissed at his non-apology and wishing the man was dead for real. perhaps it was someone else entirely (probably a man since they haven’t had a male murderer so far and have even pointed that out).
but again, this is still a very loose theory based solely on the possibility that that document is the review. what else do y’all think it could be? or what else could have happened if it is indeed the review?
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even-in-arcadia · 2 months
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I was rereading "Lovers of the Human Flesh" by Caleb Crain as one does and I was very struck by two particular lines in relation to one Cornelius Hickey:
Incorporating what you love is a sure way to see that it never escapes from you.
and
Eating something is a way of keeping it with you forever, but it is also a way of destroying it.
I don't need to delve into the implications for Hickey's actual cannibalism - that's been done by those better (and more attached to Hickey) than I. What I want to talk about more is this concept in relationship to Hickey's ambitions to godhood.
Hickey has a plan always, at all times. It's a plan that shifts based on what seems best for him, what seems most convenient, and whatever he thinks his relationship to Crozier is at any given moment. They all essentially make sense in a scrappy, aggrieved, mutiny kind of way. Until: Solomon Tozer tells him, horrified, that he witnessed the Tuunbaq eat Mr. Collins' soul. Hickey says, specifically, that this merits a change in plan. He spends a long time by himself on a hill doing --we'll never know what.
EC/Cornelius Hickey, a man who clearly has never known a love that didn't turn on him or leave, has determined to be become melded to the Tuunbaq, an eater of souls. Gibson turned on him by falsely representing their relationship to Irving; Crozier turned on him by denying the "clear" bond they had and denying Hickey's gift of Lady Silence; he's been betrayed by this entire voyage that was supposed to take him to Oahu. Who knows what other loves have betrayed him.
If the Tuunbaq can eat souls, if Hickey can become connected with that power, then perhaps he too will be able to incorporate souls! Perhaps he will be able to finally ensure that something, someone will never turn on him. And if those souls must be destroyed in the process, what is it to him? Has the world not spent his entire time on earth trying to destroy him? (Conjecture: but given what we learn of him, the Nagaitis lore, and the cultural & economic context in which he exists, I think this is reasonable.) He yells into the Arctic air:
Bugger Victoria! Bugger Nelson! Bugger Jesus! Bugger Joseph, bugger Mary! Bugger the Archbishop of Canterbury! NONE EVER WANTED NOTHING FROM ME
He feels abandoned by every institution of society, and so he is going to create one in his own image. He offers a captain, an officer, a marine, and a ship's boy: the ship's hierarchy in miniature. If he feeds the Tuunbaq their souls and then melds with Tuunbaq himself, he can eat society and reconstitute it not just in his own image but in his own person, with only his chosen loyal followers, those who do want something from him. As Crain says, "In Freud's Totem and Taboo, the cannibal feast is the founding act of crime and sharing that binds society." That's the founding myth Hickey is not just counting on but trying to actively create.
And maybe, maybe! When he has access to Tuunbaq's power - will he have a line on those souls as well? Tuunbaq devours both body and soul in tandem, suggesting they are connected. As Hickey has already eaten of Gibson's flesh, maybe he can reconstitute and reingest that as Gibson's soul. Thus the destruction becomes the resurrection becomes the incorporation. Crain writes: "The body is a convenient boundary for the definition of the self. [...] in practice the peculiar act [cannibalism and homosexuality] violates that boundary. The act offers an ecstatic union." A cannibal rat wedding, if you will.
Crozier says to Hickey, "You must be a surpassingly lonely man." Hickey doesn't deny this. He merely says "Not for long." This is about power, but it is also about an end to loneliness, to his sense of betrayal at all levels and at every turn. Of course, it doesn't work out. In not caring about who suffered the consequences of his actions, he failed to take into account that incorporation & ingestion involve destruction. He thought himself the instrument of this, but by failing to see the Tuunbaq unto itself, as something other than a tool, as the independent Arctic that could never stomach Western society and live: he turned that back on himself and so was himself destroyed.
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bullet-prooflove · 10 months
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Weak: Alexander 'Tig' Trager x Reader (feat: Clay Morrow)
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Tagging: @proceduralpassion @crazy4chickennuggets @callsignartemis @kmc1989 @mortal--soul @yourwinchesterbros @buddinglinguist @spookyboogyuniverse @nessamc @anime-weeb-4-life @redpoodlern @ravencrow83 @nu1freakshow @@oureternalbond  @the-wandering-lunatic @lexondeck @keyweegirlie @theplacewhereallthedemonsgo @poppyrose33 @belovedbastardremus @trublu2u @thebaileybugle @spngingerbread21 @@the-person-in-the-circle @thanossexual
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It’s the vote over Cara Cara that makes Clay realise that you’re a threat. It’s the first time in years that Tig has voted in the opposite direction to him, and it makes Clay stand up and take notice.
He knows that Tig has been fucking you, he hasn’t taken much interest in it, he never does when it comes to Tig’s conquests. His Tiggy is a magpie, he sees something shiny, he taps it and then moves on to the next thing. He’s not the type to get pussy whipped, he’s dependable that way. That is, until he isn’t.
Clay starts to look into you after that. He thinks you must be some premium fucking pussy to keep Tig on the hook. However, the more he discovers the more he doesn’t get it, because you are just so normal. You aren’t a porn actress like he originally thought, you don’t have a great ass or huge tits. You aren’t even much to look at.
It’s only when he sees the two of you interacting that something clicks in his brain. When Tig kisses you, it’s soft, his thumb caressing the blush of your cheek, those rings of his contrasting against your skin. There’s a tenderness in it and Clay fucking hates it. His Sergeant at Arms is a rabid dog on a leash, when he lets him off, he expects him to go feral.
Clay decides to fuck it up.
He wants to break the hold you have on his Sergeant in Arms. He wants the other man violent, reckless, untamed. He needs the other man at his worst. The more blood thirsty the better.
He picks a night when he knows Tig’s going to be at the clubhouse and he stages a little private party. He picks a couple girls, ones that are just Tig’s type and he pays them to do whatever the fuck the other man wants. In his heart he knows that Tig’s still the same deprived son of a bitch he’s always been.
When the blonde climbs in his lap, Tig isn’t having any of it. Six months ago, he would have given her the ride of her life, he would have fucked her until she didn’t know which was up, instead he simply leaves.
Clay feels like he doesn’t even know the other man anymore.
It’s clear you’re a bigger influence than Clay realised. Tig’s become a different person since he’s taken up with you and Clay can’t have that. He needs him unhinged; he needs him loyal. He needs to destroy the other man so badly that there’s no coming back from the darkness.
In short, Clay needs to get rid of you and he realises that Amir Ghazeni is the solution to the problem because the disappearance of both his brothers ties directly back to you.  
Clay remembers that visit up to Stockton four years ago, the one where Otto had asked him to get rid of a 22. and a shiny new red convertible registered to Omar Ghazeni. Nothing, related to the club, he’d assured him. One of Luann’s girls had had a problem with a Persian and taken care of it herself, Clay didn’t have to worry about the body but the car, it was distinctive. In exchange Otto had done a couple of favours for him, that had added a few more years to his sentence. Luann loved that girl like a daughter, and Otto would do anything for Luann. It’s not a leap to guess that that girl is you.
Clay has no doubt that Tig killed Kia. Jax had tasked him with cutting him loose after all that drama at the torture porn studio and he guessed that Kia must have said something Tig didn’t agree with because the next thing they know, the club are getting questioned about the younger Ghazeni’s fire engine red jacket floating in the docks.
He tries to confirm a couple of details with Otto but the other man is tight lipped. He thinks that maybe Luann wasn’t the only one, who saw you as more than just an employee. He discovers that you’ve been putting money in Otto’s commissary since Luann had been killed, and that you’ve been visiting him in prison as often as you can.
He meets with the remaining Ghazeni in secret. He keeps Tig out of it. After all he doesn’t want Amir coming after the club, just you. The terms are this, Amir can do whatever the fuck he wants with you, Clay doesn’t give a shit about the details, so long as your body ends up on Tig’s doorstep. That’s all he asks.
It goes wrong from the very fucking beginning because Clay doesn’t count on three things, the fact you carry a 9 Mil., that Tig has been teaching you how to shoot and that Jax is with you at the time.  
When the Persians try to snatch you up, you’re finishing up a meeting with Nero Padilla about expanding into the escort business. Clay’s made sure that Tig is as far away as possible, he has him up in Bakersfield, checking in with Packer about a nasty spot of business regarding some ex-cult members. What he didn’t factor in was Jax attending the meeting on behalf of the club, because Jax didn’t tell him. He’d kept his cards close to his chest because he didn’t know how viable to deal would be.
It ends up with three dead Persians, one of which Jax recognises from the torture studio leading them straight back to Amir Ghazeni. The whole fucking story plays out around the table that evening, when Tig, for the first time in his life comes clean about the whole fucking thing. He tells his brothers about what happened to you, about Omar’s death when he came for you a second time, about the video and how he lost his fucking shit when Kia rubbed his face in it.
Strip me of my rank, he tells them, take my kutte, but don’t tell me that any one of you wouldn’t have done the same thing if it was someone you loved.
In the end Tig loses his position but keeps the kutte because there isn’t a soul in the room other than Clay that can begrudge his actions. Of course, the story endears you to them even more. Prior to this you were just a business partner and the girl that they knew Tig was fucking.
Now he’s telling everyone you’re his old lady, that he’s killed for you. It makes you part of the family and just like that you have the protection of the club.
It infuriates Clay but he’s sure that none of this shit can lead back to him because they’ve already found Amir Ghazeni on his yacht with a bullet in his head.
Clay doesn’t realise that they’ve taken a vote until two days later. He’s done a lot of dirty shit up until this point, the waters are so muddied that even he can’t tell what’s in the name of the club or for himself.
When he comes to table that night, he sees Jax sitting in his seat at the head of it, the gavel grasped firmly in his hand. He recognises the hardened expressions on each of his brothers faces as they march in, one after the other.  
It’s Tig he looks to, the one he’s always been able to turn to in his time of need. There’s murder in those vivid blue eyes of his, he runs his tongue along his bottom lip as if he can already taste Clay’s blood in his mouth because he knows what he’s done, what he tried to do.
It’s Otto that blew him up. Otto that heard about what almost happened to you and put the pieces of his last conversation with Clay together. Otto, who summoned Tig and Jax to Stockton.
They find the recording on Amir’s yacht, the one that the Persian had made of the conversation between the two of them. Bobby thinks he was planning to use it as leverage in case the rest of the MC ever found out it was him that had taken you. The worst part Jax tells him is that he knew what Amir would do to you, that he looked at your history and decided to play it out all over again, that he told Amir to leave your body on another brother’s doorstep.
There isn’t a person in the room who doesn’t understand the implications of that, of what that level of brutalisation would do to another man, to someone that Clay was supposed to care about.
“For what?” Jax asks him. “What the fuck was all of this for?”
Clay turns his head to Tig and meets his gaze. There’s a moment of understanding between the two of them before he says.
“She makes you weak brother.”
“No.” Tig responds, shaking his head. “She makes me human.”
Clay throws back his head and laughs.
“Pussy can’t give you redemption Tiggy, you know that.”
It ends with Clay kneeling over an open grave on the outskirts of Charming, staring into the depths of the soil below him.
“Any last words?” Tig asks him as he jams the barrel into the back of Clay’s skull.
“She’s not right for you Tig, you know it and I know it…”
Tig pulls the trigger, splattering Clay’s brains into the earth before his body tips forward landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the hole. He stares down at the man he’s served for the majority of his adult life and wonders when the presidency started to twist him, when the power sunk it’s claws into his skin and shredded his soul.
“He’s wrong you know?” Jax says as Tig passes the gun to him. “She’s good for you.”
“I know.” Tig tells him, his gaze shifting back to the mass of flesh and bones in the depths of that hole. “That’s why he tried to take her away from me.”
“Go home.” Jax tells him, his gloved hand clasping Tig’s shoulder and squeezing tightly. “Tell your girl she can sleep easy tonight.”
Love Tig? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.
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ghost-the-writer · 4 months
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Well well well a lot of you seemed spiked about my last post so here we go an explanation of why Huskerdust works.
I wanna start by saying I was reading some comments and I saw a take on how the show made Alastor husk’s abuser only to have him be able to relate to Angel.
While I get that interpretation I wouldn’t flat out say that Alastor is abusive towards either husk nor nifty. He has controls over their souls/lives yes but he only exercises that control when he needs too, he doesn’t do so out of pleasure of control (which is what Valentino does to Angel).
As for Husk being a victim of Al, I do agree that it seemingly came out of nowhere (though it would make sense as to while he’s at the hotel, we learn that he’s being forced by Al to stay rather than staying on his own accord.) It was revealed early on that Husk was an overlord but that wasn’t from the pilot, and since I am strictly sticking to content that the show/pilot provided I won’t go into it.
When it comes to the core of what makes Huskerdust work, I would have to argue for power dynamics.
The thing about Radiodust that turns most people off is the unbalanced power dynamic. Alastor is a powerful overlord, Angel, while being more than capable of handling himself, wouldn’t be able to defend himself against Al. Essentially it would remind people of his dynamic with Valentino, thought Alastor clearly wouldn’t take advantage of Angel in the same way.
This is where Huskerdust works better, they’re on more even playing field. Especially because of the fact that both are controlled by overlords, which brings me to episode 4.
Husk is able to relate to Angel because he also made a deal (well lost a deal) for his soul, and is controlled by someone way more powerful than himself that he knows he can’t escape from. Husk isn’t relating to the way that Angel is abused, more so the way that he’s being controlled.
Which brings me to my next point the fact that Huskerdust feels forced. In the argument against Radiodust it doesn’t make sense cause Raidodust just feels as forced.
But in the argument of Huskerdust alone let’s look at episode 4.
The episode is so packed because not only does it really expand Angel’s story and abuse, but Husk actually gets a personality.
We learn why Angel acts the way he does, the reason he’s so sexual is because he gets abused in that way (it’s common for SA victims to hyper-sexualize themselves). And he’s drug addicted in effort to destroy himself so that Val might leave him.
We learn that Husk is the person everyone “bitches” to in his words. He knows everyone’s issues, and based on how he interacts with Angel we can guess that instead of offering solutions Husk is more the type to comfort someone by understanding their situation.
But it’s really all service level still, we have greater understanding of who both of them are as people.
I’m interested to see how Husker and Angel get developed further as the show goes on.
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prince-liest · 3 months
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love the way you explore Alastor's friendships but especially with his gal pals, which I feel like might get overlooked by a lot of people! thank you so much for the radiodiva fic. it hit me in all of my aroace feels and of course it's great to read more of Mimzy. you even threw in some Niffty (and a Rosie shoutout) that was sooo cute. truly the Al GalPal fic.
it's also super fun to compare Al's behavior with his female friends (and how much of that is informed by time period and those ideals) and how he behaves when boundaries are crossed with Vox in the 666 series. how much would you say is due to differences in power (overlord vs normal sinner) and gender perceptions? or was that something you were taking into consideration when writing?
Thank you so much! It's a really fun topic for me to explore because, as you said, those are definitely all things that I think about when I write about how Alastor relates to other people, especially people with the potential to become friends! I think it's power and gender.
This turned into a pretty long post, so: the rest is under the cut!
We definitely see in canon that Alastor has a different relationship with his female friends than he does with pretty much any male character, period. I think that his behavior in that sense is very much informed by the time period that he's from. Obviously he hasn't strictly retained '20s sensibilities (except maybe with regards to radio, haha), but I think he clearly puts some effort into presenting himself as a gentleman when women are involved in a way that he simply doesn't bother with when men are. He offers a certain amount of leeway and respect to characters like Niffty, Mimzy, Rosie, and even Charlie, who I personally think that he would claim as a friend but doesn't realize he may or may not be beginning to genuinely see as one. Honestly, the female character to get the least amount of leeway from him is Vaggie, and she's outright hostile to him on many occasions.
But... even with Vaggie, he's much nicer to her outright antagonism than he is to, say, Husk. He's still unkind when he prods her about Charlie's expectations in episode one, and I think he knows he has to maintain a veneer of decency with her that he doesn't with Husk, but I think from the way he expresses himself it's still telling that he seems more amused than irritated with her even when he's being a petty bitch about it.
He does have female friends across different power levels, and I think in each case there's a clear consideration to that aspect of the dynamic as well. He most likely owns Niffty's soul, and he gives Niffty an incredibly amount of leeway with his person and outright says that he admires her in a way. Mimzy is a sinner who runs to him for help, and he enables her behavior and attitude with fondness and, I think we can extrapolate, consistently comes through for her requests - he's also incredibly polite to her when he asks her not to, y'know, destroy the project he's currently investing so much time into. Rosie, on the other hand, is an overlord - and he still shows her a great deal of fondness, but I think it's also telling that their dialogue seems to imply that their relationship is very well-balanced by mutual favors.
And on that note, it's also not a coincidence that I tend to reach for Angel Dust, a very genderqueer character who does not personally perform traditional masculinity (and in fact puts quite a bit of effort into his feminine persona) as a member of the hotel crew that Alastor would be the most able to become friends of sorts with. Angel is, of course, also a sinner of a pretty low power level, and I think that underneath the external wildly different presentations, he and Alastor have a lot in common (namely on the topic of masking), but he's not the only character who masks around Alastor and compared to Vox or Lucifer, who are both powerful people and not particularly feminine, he's a lot higher on the "ease of friend potential" meter for Alastor.
The friendliest we see Alastor being with a male character in canon is with Zestial, whose general persona is very gentlemanly... but even then, I would call their attitude toward each other one of friendly posturing as coworkers who have an eye on each other, rather than genuinely friendly.
When I write Alastor dealing with Vox in 666: Live on Air! it's definitely with consideration to "How the hell would Alastor be more genuine, non-performative friends with an actual guy?" because, like... Vox isn't wrong when he says that he's the first dude that's earned the sheer amount of leeway that Alastor offers him, both physically and emotionally.
(Disclaimer I feel compelled to make: No, it's not because Vox is trans. Alastor straight up does not initially realize that, and even despite knowing it at the current point of the story, nothing about Vox's presentation actually reads as feminine to Alastor in any way. He's a softer touch with Angel Dust than Vox for a reason!)
What ends up happening is that Alastor... wants, even if it's largely subconscious, to behave with Vox as comfortably as he does with Rosie, Mimzy, and Niffty. But unfortunately, he runs into the issue of 1) his paranoid hindbrain is still regularly registering Vox as a power-hungry threat, at least in part due to Vox's actual previous behavior, and 2) he is honestly closer to Vox in some aspects than he is to his other friends because of the sheer amount of weird self-discovery they've gotten up to, which means that opening up the same way would be showing more vulnerability, and to a person that, frankly, Alastor doesn't feel like he has a veneer of gender role-dictated propriety to protect himself with. Especially since Vox is an overlord, and especially since a lot of the actual kinky shit that they get up to is predicated on Vox having abilities that the average sinner doesn't.
So when Mimzy crosses a boundary, Alastor accomodates her in whatever way is genuinely important to her, then gently corrects her and sets her on her way. This is just how Mimzy is, this is how their dynamic has been for a long time, and he does not register her as a threat. When Vox crosses a boundary... it's an attack, and if it's a serious enough one, then Alastor subscribes to the school of responses of nuclear proportions to dissuade any motherfucker from ever even thinking about trying again. See: the trail of dead overlord bodies left in his wake after his original descent into hell.
The turning point that leads him to make a deal to his slight but very actual disadvantage in Network 0666: No Signal is that Vox shows him some genuine upset and vulnerability. Vox has been vulnerable before this point, but he's generally been loud, obnoxious, pathetic, and over-the-top about it, and honestly often also just absolutely turned it into a sex thing. This is the first time that Vox managed, though entirely unintentionally, to find one of the heartstrings that is so much more accessible to characters like Mimzy, and accidentally tug on it. Alastor finds safety in the vulnerability of his friends, but he also likes being the powerful figure that provides those friends with help and protection, even in ways that might look like they're to his own detriment.
(Until, of course, they end up actually being to his detriment - see: Adam - at which point he loses his shit about it. But, uh, his ego makes it hard for him to see when that might actually happen!)
Anyway, this ended up a long post that could probably have been less rambling, but I hope it answered your question!
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