#which is also kinda scary to me but not as immediately of a panic response as thunder is
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ANYONE ELSE SCARED OF THUNDER
I FORGOT I WAS UNTIL THE LOUDEST THUNDER I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE ROLLED OVER THIS HOUSE
#and then I saw a flash through the window#so. lightning.#which is also kinda scary to me but not as immediately of a panic response as thunder is#and then the thunder came again but LOUDER#pain
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SKZ REACT to...
◈ you being followed
part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by anon ♡ )
genre/s: comfort, skz x gn reader
warning/s: description of being followed on the street, descriptions / mentions of panic attacks
wc: 1.8k
a/n: this one took me quite a while but i’m happy with it !!! i decided to write out a longer introduction to this to kinda set up a scene !! i hope y’all enjoy it (esp the comforting parts ofc kdjdjf)
it’s somewhat unlike you to walk alone at night. you figured it would only take you a few minutes, but you got out of work late, setting you back quite a while. to make things worse, while you were working overtime, the sun had set, leaving you to traverse the dimly lit city streets on your own. all you know is that your boyfriend left the door open for you, and a couch date sounds really great right now.
somewhere along your walk, you heard a shuffling noise coming from behind you. you disregarded it, thinking it may have been simple paranoia. you’ve seen too many movies, you think. however, as you keep up your leisurely yet steady pace, you hear another noise. this time you turn around.
a man. in a black hoodie. looking you dead in the eye.
your eyes widen as a small gasp leaves your mouth. needless to say, you begin sprinting to your destination, heart racing at a pace that rivals the speed of your feet. with your focus aimed at getting as far away as you can, you’re honestly not even sure how your legs know where they’re going. nevertheless, your saving grace comes into view. after a quick glance at the now empty street behind you, you sprint even faster than before. and, once you make it to the apartment door, you fling the door open and leap inside with enough force to rattle the hinges.
“y/n? what’s wro-”
“i was being followed,” you interject, a choked sob finally escaping you.
◈ CHAN
his first instinct, no matter what, is to make sure you feel safer now.
he’ll sit you down on the couch, staying close beside you and rubbing your back while reiterating that whoever that man was is gone now.
i’ve always liked to think he’d be good to have around in the event of a panic attack. especially if you’re the type of person who needs physical and verbal reassurance. back rubs, hugging, and breathing reminders galore.
once you’ve calmed down, he would wipe away your tears and hold you close to him as he asks you about the rest of your day.
he’s an amazing listener and he can’t wait to hear about the latest employee or customer gossip lmao
but more importantly, it would take your mind off things, which is all he truly wants.
if you start looking a bit gloomy or drifting off in thought, he’d probably suggest some cuddle time !! he would make sure to remind you of how courageous you were in that moment before promising you one last time that you’re safer now, here with him.
you’d finally fall asleep in his arms, filling him with relief.
◈ MINHO
first reaction: absolutely pissed.
not at you of course, but at the guy who was following you. with you still in his arms, he glances pointedly out the front door and the windows, closing the blinds after giving the entire apartment a once-over.you end up in the bedroom, in which he’ll guide you to sit beside him on the bed.
his expression will have completely changed from anger to loving concern. he’d look deeply into your eyes while holding both your hands in his, assuring you that you’re safe now.while you continue to cry, you explain what had happened in more detail. he strokes your hair as you speak and nods along, blood boiling.
he can’t stand the thought of any person making you feel unsafe. but, he’d maintain a calm exterior in order to make you feel more at ease.
once you describe the whole situation, he’d reassure you once again that the man can’t get to you now.
“he’ll have to get through me.”
you giggle.
“hEY”
◈ CHANGBIN
i think he’d have a similar reaction to minho !!
very visibly pissed that some random guy had the nerve to intimidate you. that dude’s lucky he didn’t follow you the whole way home or else he’d probably be pretty uh. damaged. by now..
he’d sit you down on the couch, do a quick check-in at each of the windows and doors, and come back as soon as he can to console you.
when he does, he’s quick to sit beside you, arm wrapped around you with the other wiping the tears off of your face.
after you explain the situation a bit more clearly, he becomes even more angry (probably mutters some curses under his breath)
but !!!! i think he’d really try his best to focus on cheering you up
asking you what you’d like to do for the rest of the night, if you’d like any food, if you’d like to sleep or stay up for a while.. etc.
plus he’d amp up the silly antics to make you forget about things !!
◈ HYUNJIN
i think his physical reaction would become similar to yours. very quickly.
like once he sees your tears and senses your quickened pulse. his immediate response (whether voluntary or not) would be to emulate you.
so, naturally, he’d hold you in his arms and let you cry it out, while small sobs of his own escape him.
seeing you so scared is a scary feeling.
of course, he’d reassure you that you’re safe !!! he’d look into your eyes, tucking your hair behind your ears, and tell you that it’s all over now and that you’re safe.
you, of course, don’t want him to feel sad or scared, so you’d console him as well.
you two would comfort each other the whole rest of the night. i think the most probable option would be the two of you cuddled up in bed watching a movie or reading webtoons together
distraction !! but make it a drama !! or a romcom because .. vibes !!
and when you decide it’s time for bed (however late that may be due to the stress from earlier) he’d be sure to remind you that he’ll be with you all night & when you wake up
(but he’s also secretly clinging onto you out of fear as well kdjfgj)
◈ JISUNG
“oh sh- oh sHIT-”
wouldn’t know what in the fuck to do
would haphazardly check all the windows like minho did, holding your hand as you continue to cry
after he’s done, he’d cling to you and hold you SO very tight <3
lots of “shh shh baby.. baby shhhh” and all that jazz.. you know the sungie vibes…
he’d stroke your hair and arms, noticing your slight shakiness and suggesting you both cuddle for some extra comfort and warmth
no matter what time of night it is, he’d turn off the lights and cuddle with you as you describe the event in more detail
quiet & calm
even if you end up crying again while you speak, he’s there to brush the tears off your face with his thumb and help you calm down again
◈ FELIX
before you came, he might have cooked a small meal for the two of you to share. even though you worked late, it’d still be waiting for you when you arrive. he’d wait too.
when you do happen to burst through the door, he’d jump and gasp out of fear
but he’s quick to run up to you and hold you as you let out everything you’d held in during your walk-turned-chase
also !! will help you get settled in as you describe what went down
helping you take off your coat and shoes, getting water for you, grabbing some blankets; all while listening intently and giving you all of his attention
once you’re seated on the couch, wrapped in the softest blanket he could find and staying hydrated after such a harrowing event, he’d be sure to hold you as close as possible to remind you that everything’s okay
eventually, through his subtle gestures and calming demeanor, you won’t even realize how you got situated !! he just knows what to do to make you as comfortable as possible without even trying all that hard
you may choose to skip dinner, but no matter what, he’ll be holding you close the whole night through to make sure you know he’s there to protect and care for you
◈ SEUNGMIN
he’s very methodical about how to proceed. his first instinct is to do what some of the others would and check the house, but he decides to help you calm down first.
you’re rambling about what happened in between sobs and quick breaths, which sends a pain through his heart as he shuts and locks the door.
if you’re shorter than him, he’d bend a little to make direct eye contact with you. he’ll rub your arms and tell you that you don’t have to be afraid anymore
the most calming and reassuring voice in the whole world omg !!!!!!
he’d wipe your tears away and cup your face with both of his hands, prompting you to look back into his eyes before smiling at you
“you’re safe now, right?”
you smile back at him, nodding.
“now, let’s lock all the doors so no bad guys can get in!”
then, he’d take your hand and let you help him lock the doors and shut the curtains, making it feel like a chore instead of a precaution
and for your “good work”, he’d reward you with some binge watching & cuddle time !!! (as if that wasn’t the original plan skjdfg)
◈ JEONGIN
(under his breath, eyes wide) “oh my god…”
i think he’d start freaking out a bit like hyunjin did, but he’d do his very best to hide it. he knows he has to be strong to help you calm down and feel safe.
like felix, he’d help you take off your coat and shoes, leading you over to the couch as you shakily describe what happened.
(i’m sorry i keep making comparisons to the other members bUT) like minho, he’d hold your hands in his, rubbing them softly with his thumbs to soothe your nerves as you let everything out
he’d try to cheer you up by suggesting alternative motives the man might’ve had instead of wanting to harm you
for instance:
jeongin: “what if he was lost and needed directions but he was too shy to ask because you’re so pretty/handsome?”
you: “babe i don’t think-”
jeongin: “OR what if he thought he knew you !!”
you: “but he-”
jeongin: “WHAT IF IT WAS BATMAN-”
overall, his aim is to distract you (as well as himself), which ends in success. you’ll both be in stitches by the end of the night
and… laughing is super tiring, right?
therefore, as reiterated throughout all of these reactions because we all know it’s true:
CUDDLESSSS
oh also.. right before you fall asleep in his arms, he’d ask if you want to leave the light on during the night :( bc he’s a cutie :((((
tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )
©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.
#districtninewriters#inkidz#skzwritersclub#straykidsland#*fics#*8#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#skz#stray kids#skz reactions#stray kids reactions#skz ot8#stray kids ot8
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Ok i got an monster tom x scientist reader au universe thing and no it does not take place in the red army base
Reader is a scientist and is asked to run some tests on a new specimen/monster they found, and when reader sees the specimen/monster they actually think it's kinda cute but then some other scientists shock him and even stick some needles in him and reader just feels bad for the specimen/monster at this point so nighttime rolls around and they hack into the cameras to shut them off and wear a mask so they won't get caught and go to the main room where the specimen/monster is they the reader introduces themselves to the monster the monster, thinking they're gonna hurt them, immediately backs off obviously scared and reader convinces the monster that they're not gonna hurt them and the monster shrinks as he's mostly human and says "your not gonna hurt me?" And they reassure him that they're not gonna hurt him and they sneak into the readers car and drives off the lab that the monster was in and reader asks what the "monsters" name is and says their name is "tom". Then reader makes a pit stop to a store real quick to get tom some clothes and then reader drives to they're home and introduces tom to their room and asks if they want some food/ take out or not an he says yes and they get some chinese food and watch some TV, after eating they both go to bed and reader suddenly finds themselves in Toms arms whimpering a little, and reader just kinda decides to pet his hair and rub his horns a little bit which make him purr then tom wraps his tail around reader and asks them to do it more and they do do that untill they notice that he's asleep then they both fall asleep.
Whew, I enjoyed writing this one ^^
Summary: Reader, a scientist, rescues Monster Tom from the lab that experimented on him and brings him home
...............
"Dr. [L/n], I'll let you oversee today's tests on TR-03."
"Alright, chief." You smiled awkwardly as your supervisor handed you the clipboard. It contained the subject's information: a one-eyed horned monster of an unknown species, though your colleagues have theorized it to be a demon. "What kind of tests are we running on it?"
"Resistance to electric shocks. There's evidence of uranium possibly circulating in its blood, so you'll be watching them extract samples as well."
As he explained, your smile gradually dropped as you looked over the information, seeing a ton of redacted information, including several incidents of the destruction it caused prior to its capture.
"So it's gonna be shocked and stuck with needles? Sounds painful."
"Its armor is thick, so it shouldn't feel a thing. Besides...I don't think you need to worry about whether it'll be painful for it." Your supervisor spoke in a rather condescending tone. "After all it's just an animal."
"I...yes, sir. I'll go oversee the tests right away." Not wanting to argue further, you just left his office and wandered through the building.
You were eager yet anxious to meet this monster.
Eventually you reached the area where the creature was being held, climbing up the stairs that led to the skybridge so you could look down into its holding chambers.
It was a massive dark purple creature, with two bright violet horns and a single black eye. Surprisingly it was allowed full movement, though judging from the many claw marks on the walls...it wouldn't surprise you if one day it was chained up to restrict such behavior.
You actually thought it was..kind of cute? It looked scary in pictures, but up-close it didn't seem as terrifying.
That only made you feel more pity for it as other scientists entered the chamber, clad in protective suits, with electric prongs and needles.
Almost immediately the monster seemed aware of what they were going to do, its eye widening as it stood on both feet and cowered in the corner. It growled in warning, only for a scientist to jab its leg with a prong in response, eliciting a roar of pain.
You physically flinched, feeling bad for the creature. But you took notes on its response to electric shocks.
Subject recognized equipment immediately, perceiving them as danger. Responded painfully to electricity.
Soon after being tortured, the monster seemed dazed, allowing another scientist in a hazmat suit to approach it and stick a needle into its hip. The vial of blood collected turned out to be red, with a glowing green aura.
As you took more notes, you heard a small whimper and looked down, seeing that the monster wasn't putting up a fight.
Instead it was...crying?
Sure enough, tears leaked from its eye as more of its blood was drawn, being electrocuted as some sick form of "sedation". It was hard to tell whether the people inside felt any sort of sympathy, but they just took their leave without saying a word to each other. Only a mere nod.
You didn't want to be here any longer than you needed to, so you finished your report and began heading back to your office.
Though you noticed the monster looking up at you, and you couldn't help but frown and murmur a simple:
"I'm sorry."
.............
After your shift was over, normally you'd go home for the night.
But on the ride home...you kept thinking of TR-03 and couldn't shake the images and sounds of its pain.
The way it responded to just seeing the prongs, and the way it looked at you as though it was begging for help, seemed far too human for it to be just a mindless animal.
Of course, you never questioned the secrets this lab kept--not wanting to be fired. But they seemed to be hiding a lot of stuff about this specimen, never speaking about its origins or even what it was capable of.
You may have only seen it for the first time today, but you wanted to know more about it. And you had a feeling that you won't get the answers you wanted by asking around.
Oh no..you were going to free it in order to find out the truth.
Not just to satisfy your own curiosity, but also because...the way it was being treated was far too cruel. To the point where it was crying.
You couldn't stand for this unethical treatment any longer. You had to do something..and be smart about it lest you got killed or worse.
After making a quick stop at a store, you found a mask and changed your clothes, completely disguising yourself. Then you got back in your car and returned to the lab, parking it somewhere far away so that you can sneak inside.
Fortunately you had security access in case any of the specimen breached their chambers. Thanks to your hacking skills you were able to disable every security camera you could find, putting them all on timers so they'd turn on later in the morning. You didn't want to rouse any suspicion.
That was the easy part.
The most important and difficult task lied ahead.
...........
As soon as you entered the monster's chamber, it woke up and grumbled with annoyance. Clearly it didn't like its rest being disturbed.
Though upon seeing you and the mask you wore, it tilted its head. "Grrrah..?"
"Shhh, it's okay." You whispered, removing the mask so it could see your face. While you were awestruck to actually see it up close and personal, you knew you had to keep calm.
But that might've been a mistake as it seemed to recognize you--the one who was watching it earlier today. It immediately backed into a corner, terrified as its chest began heaving with anxiety.
You couldn't blame it for its reaction, though your gently put your hands up and hushed it. "Please don't panic. I'm not here to hurt you. I wanna get you out of here."
"Hrrgrah?"
"Mhm." Smiling, you just pretended you could understand it. "I don't like how they treat you here. They call you an animal but..I know you're more than that."
The monster calmed down a little, before glancing up to the opposite corner. He made a noise of confusion upon seeing that the security camera's annoying red light wasn't blinking.
"I shut that off so nobody can hear or see us."
"H...ack..?"
You blinked, surprised that it could speak some English, but the fact it wasn't cowering like before was a sign it was trusting you. "Yep, I hacked the whole security complex. Now's our chance to escape, but..ah shit."
Suddenly, it never occurred to you: your mission was focused on getting to the monster, but you never considered how you'll get out with the monster.
"Damn..I'm not sure how we'll sneak you out without...." However, you trailed off as you saw it changing into a smaller form.
But it wasn't just shrinking, it was actually turning partially human.
How curious, nobody told you about that. Maybe that was part of the redacted information.
The monster turned out to be a human male, who still retained his horns, tail, and dark scales and fur, which covered his body. His brown hair was messy and spiky, and interestingly enough he had two black eyes.
He didn't have any clothes, obviously, so you took off your coat and put it around him. "So you're human, huh?"
"Your stupid friends' experiments wouldn't let me turn back for a while..." He grumbled in a slight British accent. "You sure you're not gonna hurt me?"
Understandably he got defensive, knowing you were working for the people who tortured him. But you shook your head. "No, I won't. I'm quitting this shithole and I'll take you with me." You took his hand reassuringly, noting that it was still clawed.
He gave you the tiniest of smiles in return. "Heh, glad we're both in agreement."
Soon you both quickly made your escape, luckily not running into any trouble. Your car was still parked right where you left it, so you got in and drove off.
You definitely won't miss working for that lab.
The roads were mostly empty at this time of night, so you were able to breathe easy knowing nobody's gonna chase you. Now seemed to be the best time to talk with the monster.
"So uh..do you have a name?" You spoke up. "I know they call you TR-03 but it doesn't feel right to call you that anymore."
"Tom." He answered as he looked out the window. "My name's Tom Ridges."
'Huh, that explains his code name.'
"I'm [y/n]." After noticing a nearby plaza, you saw a clothing store and decided to make a quick stop there. Tom seemed to be confused, and a bit worried when you left him in the car all alone, though you reassured him you were just buying some clothes for him.
He waited, trying to keep himself out-of-view in case any strangers got too nosy. But before long you were back, opening the driver's side as you peered in and sighed with relief, seeing him halfway out of the chair.
"Jeez, you scared me..thought somebody got you." You sighed, shaking your head.
"S-Sorry, not trying to get any unwanted attention. It's the last thing I need.." He sat upright, though he was surprised when you handed him a bag. Inside was a blue hoodie, boxers, and gray sweatpants. "Oh, cool."
'That's all he has to say?' His reaction was a bit underwhelming. 'Then again..maybe he hasn't processed that he's never going back to that hell chamber yet.'
You just shut the door and waited for him to get dressed, and when he tapped on the window you got back into the car. He definitely looked more comfortable now.
After giving him a smile, you continued on your way home, feeling glad that you rescued him from that place. You had no idea if he had any place to go, granted you don't recall seeing any information on his address nor any relationships.
So he'll stay with you.
...........
"Luckily I got a spare room. Excuse the mess." You chuckled as you showed Tom the extra room in your house, turning on the light. "You can stay here for as long as you'd like."
He nodded as he looked around, before feeling his stomach grumble. In embarrassment he put a hand over it, glancing at you. "Sorry..the food they had was shitty, I'm sure you knew."
"Yeah...you want takeout?" You took out your phone. "I don't feel like cooking tonight so I was gonna order some anyway."
"Sounds good."
"Alrighty, I'll call in the order. We can go watch TV while we wait."
Once more Tom nodded, following you into the living room space where you both sat down on the sofa. He sighed and leaned back, turning on the TV while you ordered some Chinese food.
This situation felt so...comforting and familiar..
For a moment he gazed at you, seeing you look through the menu.
He knew he wasn't the only prisoner back in that lab. So he couldn't understand why you'd choose him, of everyone you could've helped, but...he considered himself lucky.
For once he felt like he could let his guard down a little.
Some time later the food arrived to your house, and you both ate it while watching various TV programs. You asked Tom a bit more about his home life, though he didn't have much to talk about.
Whether he didn't want to say anything or forgot it thanks to the experiments was a mystery, but you wouldn't pry. You'll get your answers sooner or later, though not tonight.
Tonight you both deserved a good rest.
Afterwards you headed off to your own room, letting him know that he can knock on your door if he ever needed anything.
You got into your pajamas and crawled into bed, yawning.
It had definitely been an eventful day. You were eager to sleep in, knowing that you won't ever go back to your boring (and unethical) job.
But just as you had turned off the lights and dozed off, you heard your door creak open. With a slightly annoyed sigh, you sat up and turned on the lamp beside you, before seeing it was Tom.
"Tom? Your room is..."
Though you fell silent when you heard him...whimper? His eyes were white, indicating he was in some kind of distress.
But he crawled onto your bed, practically situating himself in your arms while making sure he didn't jab you with his horns. You were perplexed by his actions, though you finally realized..
He was just scared.
You held him in your arms, rubbing his horns soothingly and petting his hair, murmuring promises that he was safe. In response he nuzzled up to you, tail wrapping around your body as you both laid down.
You only stopped for a moment as he started purring, which made you chuckle softly. "Purring, huh? That's new."
"Can you keep doing that?" He grumbled, closing his eyes. "It was nice till you stopped."
"O-Oh right, sorry." You continued the previous motions, deciding to hum a small song as well to help him sleep.
Eventually you stopped once he dozed off completely, and your cheeks felt warm upon seeing how adorable he looked. 'And to think I was afraid of this guy?' You mused, before turning off the lamp light.
Soon enough you fell asleep as well.
If this is how Tom expressed his thanks...you'll take it.
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Captains and Strong Independent S/o’s
☁︎︎ request: Oikawa, Kuroo and either Bokuto or Ushijima (I cant choose!) reacting to a (fem or g/n) reader who does some type of martial art and they’re kinda tough/strong and (maybe they’re the team manager and they don’t take no shit) and the captains kinda crush on them for it? (I like to imagine Oikawa having a tough gf who stops Iwa from being mean to him and jokingly threatens Iwa that if he wants to hurt Tohru he has to go through her
☁︎︎ pairing: oikawa x reader, kuroo x reader, ushijima x reader
☁︎︎ warning/s: swearing, felt a bit of angst while writing for ushijima’s idk why tho it might just be my imagination :>
☁︎︎ a/n: also dont know if it’s obvious but i kinda got carried away with ushijima’s
Oikawa Tohru
• is a smug little shit every time you’re with him or in the same room at least
• like,, he could piss Iwa-chan off to death and he won’t get hurt for it? now this is what he calls power
• sincerely loves and adores you, but at first, he kinda got sad that you’re so self-sufficient, you practically don’t need him
• but he’s now long accepted that you’re just so you… and in your relationship, it’s you who does the protecting and looking out by a whole lot (ofc it doesn’t mean he loves you less)
• that’s why he gets so so soft when he gets his turn in being the person who’s leaned on
• as their manager, he loves how you get things done so effectively, even Kyotani bows down to you, as he should—he always says in his head, smiling as he looks at the feral boy getting flustered around you
• he listens to you all the time and we all know Tohru backing down is so rare
“Oy, you’re overdoing it, let’s go.”
“Head home without me, Iwa-chan,” he mutters mindlessly as he screws up another serve, a scowl on his face as he bends down to get another ball; but he freezes at an instant upon Iwaizumi’s words—no, Iwaizumi’s threat.
“Suit yourself, I’ll call y/n.”
Oikawa has never changed stance so quickly in his life, cleaning up the gym as he sends smiles to his best friend’s way every five seconds, hoping he won’t tell on him on his cute but scary girl who could easily kick him unconscious.
• he uses your name to threaten anyone who wants to cross him and they will back down immediately
• also likes to show off because he knows you treasure him so much; he likes to be babied by you especially in front of others
“y/n-chan c’mere,” he softly says, whining a bit. The rest of his team look at the both of you in astonishment as you take the captain in your arms, Tohru’s cheek on your shoulder, looking back at the bewildered look on his teammate’s faces while you sit side by side on the bench.
They could never get used to someone as tough as you having such the softest spot for Shittykawa… like how could you even stand him?
“Really tired,” he mumbles, a small smile on his lips when you run your fingers through his hair. “I know, you were great as always, let’s head home so you could rest.”
“Y/n-chan, today, Iwa-chan hit my head when you were out to get water. It really hurt,” he says, still in your embrace as he smirks at his teammates.
Their mouths fall open, Iwaizumi’s eye twitching in irritation for his shitty best friend.
“And Maki-chan…” Hanamaki grits his teeth, looking at him pleadingly in panic as his mind runs through everything he did today, wondering what he could’ve done to your beloved. “He ate my milk bread; I was really hungry.”
Yup, Maki and Iwaizumi knew there was hell to pay, gulping in unison when you pull away from your boyfriend and narrow your eyes at them.
“Iwa-chan. I thought we agreed you weren’t hitting Tohru again.”
A chill runs down his spine, Tohru simply looks at you with pride, pulling you into his lap as he wraps his arms around your waist before you get the chance to throw hands at Iwaizumi.
Kuroo Tetsuro
• loves loves LOVES your remarks, your attitude, the way you take no crap from anyone, like “ah, he’s scared shitless, that’s my girl”
• dw, you’re not a thug or anything, but men who force their feelings on you will see heaven’s gates early
• and kuroo’s so pleased about it. sure, he’d love to get the chance to act all cool and brooding and possessive in front of other suitors but what’s more fun is watching their dejected faces as you say—
• “how many times do I have to turn you down? I have my tetsuro, now back the fuck off or I’ll break your nose.”
• you had no idea he was just outside your classroom waiting for you, arms crossed and a cocky grin stretching his lips when you lock eyes with him
• “chibi-chan!” he calls off cheerily, and you bet he’ll tease you about it til death do you part
• “don’t just stand there, give your tetsuro a hug!”
• laughs about how your friendly banters with yamamoto always end up with you winning the argument
• you rub off as mean bc you won’t take any disrespect, even a little—and that’s great
• those are one of the things he loves about you
• but he’s always worried you might get hurt or hated for it, though he knows you are very much capable of beating anyone up even kuroo himself
• so he’s always holding you back, and I can’t stress this enough, but this man knows you could fend for yourself and he is so proud you’re his partner
• he just wants to make certain that no one’ll hurt you, okay kitten?
• your conversations often go like this:
“I’ll beat up whoever tries to lay a hand on me.”
“don’t say such reckless things, you’re not superman.”
“uhuh, geez, I’ll be fine, I don’t need you to walk me home.”
“well news flash, your tetsuro, needs his y/n to walk him ho—ow,” he mutters when you slap his chest.
“go home with kenma.”
“I don’t want kenma,” he scowls, already irked that this is turning into an argument.
“too bad,” you deadpan.
“ugh,” he groans, “imagine a girlfriend who actually listens to you, just imagine.”
• he is the one and only person you’ll gladly accept lectures from, bc his lectures are always reasonable and for your own good
after checking and verifying that you were completely okay, you knew he was about to go down to business.
“you got into a fight? What are you? a thug?” he crosses his arms. You were both inside the gym along with the rest of his teammates who looked like they were far too preoccupied to listen. They were all clearly listening in though, except Kenma of course.
watching your figures from a few feet away, it was obvious that he was scolding you, and Lev already had a ridiculous visualization of you hitting Kuroo. Everyone was worried you’ll fight him, or maybe even hit him, well, everyone except Kenma, of course.
The setter knew that you would never ever lay a hand on kuroo as if the 6’1 captain was fragile. He also knew that you loved and respected kuroo too much to actually get agitated just because he was scolding you, you aren’t an unreasonable person. Lastly, he knew that kuroo would be going soft on you in five minutes tops, his best friend is hopeless like that.
Kenma was right, he always is. Your back is glued to the wall behind you, Kuroo’s hand beside your head, his face extremely close to yours that you’re left flustered which is rare.
After you were rambling on about how you had to put that girl in her place, going off about how it made you so mad and he should cut you some slack, he knew just how to shut you up. And it worked. You’re speechless.
“what was that again, hm? go on, you surely had a lot to say,” he mutters, acting all tough as if he wasn’t dying to just kiss you now. when you don’t respond and stare at him and his lips instead, he already gives in. yes, just like that. “you were wrong to do that, okay?” he breathes, the worry from earlier on making its way out through his voice.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
Locking lips with you, you pull him closer to yourself, and kuroo had purposely decided to kabedon you on this wall since his broad back would be shielding the two of you from his teammates’ line of sight.
After pulling away, he pats your head, licking his lips. “I forgive you, I’m not mad anymore.” You look away in embarrassment, realizing how petty you must’ve seemed to him. He sighs before hugging you, chin atop your head.
“Make this the last time, okay? I swear you’re shortening my lifespan having me worried all the time.”
You hug him tighter as a response, kuroo letting out a breath of contentment. Regardless of how tough you are outside; you are and always will be his soft little kitten and it was his greatest honor that you allow him to take care of you like this.
Ushijima Wakatoshi
• is probably a little too used to the idea of his most treasured girlfriend being extremely capable and self-sufficient
• his teammates would always look at him like ‘why are you not stepping in,’ every time you’re in a tough spot i.e. having an argument with someone or having a too-touchy suitor
• then they’d be like “oh, that’s why,” after you flung the despicable creature out to space
• he thinks so highly of you, not only are you physically strong, you’re even tougher on the inside too
• this is kinda a given but I’ll say it anyway—he can be unintentionally insensitive (well your relationship is kinda new)
• example no 1:
you were arguing with goshiki and while he would normally like to ignore you and let you have your way; he was getting annoyed bc the argument was far too petty.
“I’m gonna surpass him!”
“and I’m telling you that you ca-
your mouth is clamped with a big hand, and it took you only a second to realize it was Wakatoshi because only he would have the nerve to lay a hand on you like this. he still doesn’t say anything, dragging you with him in an empty hallway for privacy.
finally after you stopped walking, he turns to you and looks at you expectantly. “what was that for? Did you even wash your hand,” you mutter, slightly annoyed.
“I haven’t touched the ball yet, don’t worry,” he lowly says, making you sulk because he totally missed your point. “still, you didn’t have to make me shut up by clamping your hand against my mouth.” He’s too… not gentle with you sometimes.
“you were going to say something you shouldn’t to goshiki.”
“he said something he shouldn’t have.”
he only narrows his eyes at you and you do the same, anyone from your class would’ve been scared at the sight. You were both known as the cutest yet intimidatingly scary couple.
• you were in the early stages of dating and though you understood each other well, it wasn’t really enough yet
• it’s all good though, because once you tell him that he was too uncaring of you and your feelings he does something that no other man would do:
• apologize, admit his mistake, reflect on it a lot and,,, actually change!!
• he’s much softer to you after that, and he finally realizes that you were still his precious girl and you were sensitive when it came to him
• cursed himself for being too reliant on how you never seemed sensitive or needy
• doesn’t dwell too much on regret, just treats you 100x times better
• is fascinated with your passion for martial arts but is against you overdoing training
• one time, he was torn between dragging you out of practice or just turning a blind eye to your visible exhaustion since you’re always so tough anyway, you’ll manage
• but then he remembers his promise to himself to never treat you like you aren’t the most special person to him so he excuses himself from practice and heads to your training room
you sat alone, your back to the wall. everyone else has gone home but you stayed because your muscles were too sore and you felt like you couldn’t even walk for another day. maybe it had something to do with how you’ve been training too much.
you’re startled upon seeing shoes on the floor you blankly stared at, looking up to meet eyes with Ushijima. “Wakatoshi,” you say in surprise.
he is expressionless as he bends down across you between your legs, and you had to admit this was something you weren’t used to from him. “are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft as velvet. you’re taken aback by his question, looking away in embarrassment.
Wakatoshi rarely asks you that, and most of the time it was only when you said the word ‘ow’ when you accidentally hit something. you clear your throat, bringing your hands together to play with your fingers, “I’m okay.”
it was silent for a few seconds before you hear him sigh, not only that, warm, gentle hands had found its way to yours and you look at him, bewildered. “is this okay?” he asks, looking down at both your hands and you nod. “your hands are much smaller, compared to mine at least.” he says, but you’re too flustered to even understand that.
“are other things okay too?” he asks, and like his former statement, you didn’t understand. your silence doesn’t stop him though, he decided to push his luck. tugged gently by your wrist, your back’s no longer pressed to the wall as ushijima wakatoshi pulls you in his arms for the first time in your very few months of dating.
“wakatoshi,” you mumble, your heart racing so much you’re sure he feels it against his chest. he’s so warm, welcoming, and in his loving hold felt like the rightest place to be. “you’re not feeling okay.”
you don’t respond, opting to bury your face at the crook of his neck instead. “I’m here, I know you’re tired.”
you both stay in that position for a long time, it was addicting to be cradled in his arms and he felt the same. “y/n,” he whispers, and you hum in response.
“you’re strong. very strong. you don’t need a man at all.”
your heart skips a beat, “toshi are you breaking up with me?”
you hear a soft chuckle ring in your ears, “let me finish. as I said, you’re very strong. you look like you’re always so tough. but you’re not, and so…” he trails off, so you pull away to look at him, hesitance evident in his eyes, his palm still pressed at the small of your back.
“you’re not always strong. in fact if I dare say, you are fragile, and I care about you. so please, allow me to be there for you all the time, I’ll be here, just like now.”
General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @ultzuko @yappychan @dipsydoo542 @devilgirlcrybabiey @dai-tsukki-desu
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu scenarios#oikawa x reader#kuroo x reader#ushijima x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu!! scenarios#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#oikawa tohru#ushijima wakatoshi#kuroo tetsuro
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SKZ vs. being embarrassingly drunk
Pairing: Reader x Member
Word count: 3k
Genre: Fluff
Summary: Spending a night out with the boys and they get absolutely hammered (and cuddly)
Warnings: Alcohol usage
A/n: 1. Pls drink responsibly 2. Anon I’m so sorry this took so long but I hope you enjoy it ^^’
Masterlist
Chan
Probably wouldn’t let himself get drunk drunk
Like he knows how to have a good time
He just wouldn’t get all CRONKED
Or at least he would try to avoid that
BUT
There’s a big but
He strikes me as someone who has a low/moderate alcohol tolerance
Which means that if he really doesn’t watch how much he’s taking
This man would end up flying into the next dimension
So in the situation that he does end up getting cronked
He probably would be clingy or quiet
Would hug onto you like a koala
Would also end up being embarrassing in his mind he’s doing perfectly fine
“(Y/n), you’re reeeeeeeally pretty”
Ofc you’d just giggle at him
You’re aware of how Chan doesn’t really let himself go like this
You find it so amusing but you know he should probably drink water or smth so he doesn’t end up throwing up in the bathroom
“Drink water, Channie”
“No!”
-_-
“I don’t need water, (Y/n). I have youuuuu”
Chan wraps his arms around you and kinda smooshes his face into your arm
And as much as you love how amusing it is
He hasn’t drank water since he started drinking alcohol
“Channie”
You slide the glass towards him and he shakes his head like a child
Of course he has to be stubborn when he’s drunk
“Drink water”
He sticks his tongue out at you
Now you’re >:( bcs you don’t want anything happening to him!!
“Drink the water, Chris”
The moment he hears his English name it’s almost like he sobers up a bit
“Why are you so scary?”
He wouldn’t admit that when he’s sober
But he’s scared of you only because you have the tendency to be strict with him when it comes to taking care of himself
You’re the only person that he honestly listens to when it comes to caring for himself but he would NEVER admit it
Bcs admitting to that means admitting that he likes you c:
Chan listens
He drinks the water and he smiles when you smile at him
“Good job, Channie”
The praise makes him give you a toothy smile while he wraps his arms around you again and pulls you into a hug uwu
Minho
Seems like he would get cronked on a normal Tuesday evening bcs he can
But I think Chan mentioned once?? That they actually don’t like alcohol?? Don’t quote me on this pls I could be wrong
Anygays
Minho would probably just be really flirty or might become more dry
Like he would roast people more than usual if he gets cronked
“(Y/n), you should drink more, you lightweight”
But you know he’s joking
Would pretend he isn’t flustered
Tbh if he gets flustered while he’s drunk
It’s not like anyone can tell bcs his face might be red as hell
“(Y/n), do the shots”
o_o
“I have to drive you guys home”
“Noooooooo, you have to drink with meeeee”
Minho grabs onto your hands and he starts tugging you closer to him
Kinda just grabs you and pulls you until you fall into his lap
“Let loose, baby”
Wow okay
o_O
“We can always get someone else to drive us home”
O_O
He pushes the shot glass towards you
And you’re just staring at him like uhhh…
The reason Minho wants you to drink with him is lost in his wasted ass mind
But he just wants to make sure you don’t remember anything that he might end up telling you
Like if Min accidentally confessed to you c:
But he can’t really tell the difference between sober you and drunk you when he’s absolutely wasted out of his mind
“I think you’re really nice, (Y/n)”
“You’re nice too, Lino”
“Nonononono”
He shakes his head as he pushes you back so that you’re sitting straight and pulls you towards him so that he can hug you
“I think I like (Y/n). But you can’t tell them that”
Oh no
“(Y/n)’s always so pretty and cool looking”
“Minho”
“Nooo sshh I’m not done talking yet”
You just look at him like :| bcs you know that when you tell him about this in the morning, he’s gonna be embarrassed and start whining about why you didn’t give him water
Which you actually tried to do
Minho just
Decided he didn’t want any water -_-
“Do you think (Y/n) likes me back?”
A whole ass cutie
You laugh and smile
“Definitely”
Changbin
This man
I had input from some of my other friends
We all collectively agreed that this man is a TANK
And by ‘tank’ I mean he would not get drunk easily
Could probably take Changbin like a shit ton of shots before he starts to feel anything
So if he gets drunk drunk
He might end up being a bit more wee woo than usual
And by ‘wee woo’ I mean that he would be completely off the fucking rails excuse my language
But I feel like since Binnie’s more of an extrovert anyway, if he were to get drunk then
Well
He would be even more of an extrovert
Like he would be going WILD
So if he was embarrassingly drunk and you just happened to be his crush
“(Y/n)!!!!! (☆▽☆)”
His face is red, his shirts | | this close from coming off, and his beanie is lost under someone’s ass because he threw it off before he started dancing on the bar
“Bin, get down before you hurt yourself”
He looks down at you w his head tilted and this grin on his face
You have to admit his eyes are sparkling like you’re the most interesting person in the room and it makes your heart bust the fattest uwu
“Come on!”
He doesn’t give you a choice
Changbin’s climbing down the bar and taking your wrist to drag you towards a less crowded area
“Dance with me!”
His hands are holding yours respectfully while he sways you’re actually keeping him up bcs he’s stumbling all over the place
“Binnie, be careful”
He almost trips and you have to hold this hunk of a man up
He giggles tho and pokes at your cheek
“You’re so cute. I’ve spent so long wanting to tell you that I find you so cute!”
Now you’re blushing like a mess
“You shouldn’t drink so much, (Y/n). Your face gets super red!”
:|
Yeah blame it on the alcohol when you haven’t even drank a drop
“You need water”
Luckily for you, Changbin obediently follows you to the bar so you can get him water
He gulps it down almost immediately and you panic slightly because he might choke
But he’s fine when he puts the glass down
For a moment he turns to you and his eyes widen
Like he’s sobered up and he realises what he’s done
“Oh god—”
“More drinks for the entire bar!”
You look towards the voice
Surprisingly it’s Chan
You turn back to Changbin and he’s already on his fifteenth shot of the night -_-
Hyunjin
A FLIRT!!!
If he’s already a flirt now
Alcohol would just increase his flirting to a BILLION
I hate him and his perfect face and his perfect dancing and his perfect hair I HHHHHHHHHHH
Hyunjin strikes me as someone who would either be more moderate to high tolerance w alcohol
So he would probably be better at holding his alcohol than Chan is but not as much as Changbin
But this man OOF he probably also just starts dancing like a madman when he’s drunk and also flirting with everything he sees
He might even flirt w a chair but that’s just me bullying him at this point
I feel like he would only get hammered on nights when he either needs to relieve stress or when he knows he doesn’t have anything important the day after
So it’s like a weekend, Hyunjin’s chilling with the gang, he’s drinking
You know he’s pretty much gone when he slams his shot glass on the table and turns to you
“(Y/n)... you are… amazing”
You stifle a laugh but you don’t say anything bcs you see that he’s still going
“You’re like… godly… I can’t believe you’re driving me home…”
His eyes are barely open btw that’s how hammered he is
“I can’t believe I’ve never told you this before”
“Mhm? What is it?”
“It’s a secret”
He moves closer towards you and smooshes his face against your shoulder
Hyunjin opens his eyes a bit more and they sparkle when he sees you
“I like you”
“Aww”
Your heart’s actually beating a million a minute bcs you’re certain he’s confessing to you
But you wanna brush it off as just him meaning it as liking you as a friend
“No, you don’t get it. I like like you.”
“Huh”
“I never wanted to tell you because I didn’t want anything happening to our friendship”
“Hyunjin…”
Aaaaaand he passes out
(;¬_¬)
Now what do you do
He’s snoring now
Oh god
“Jinnie”
You shrug your shoulder lightly to wake him up and his head snaps up to look around
“Huh”
“I think it’s time to go home”
Of course, when you take him home, you leave water and advil on his bedside table
You also make a mental note to ask him about his confession in the morning
But Hyunjin’s too cronked to have a proper conversation so you’re honestly not even sure if he’ll remember the whole thing :|
Jisung
Might retreat to himself
I don’t know where exactly Sungie would be on the skz drunk spectrum
But it’s probably low to moderate so maybe around wherever Chan ranks
When he’s drunk he’ll probably cling onto someone he’s comfortable with
Just so happened to be you
Jisung’s usually quiet when he’s drunk because he doesn’t like talking or he feels too lazy to actually talk
But he’s hugging your arm like a koala when he puts his eighth beer bottle down onto the table
Everyone else left to dance except for you, Jisung and Jeongin
Jeongin’s pretty much bordering passing out beside you while Jisung doesn’t seem to be leaving your side anytime soon
“Sungie do you wanna go dance with the guys?”
He shakes his head like a stubborn child and only holds onto you tighter
“Okay”
You pat his head and he leans into your touch when you do
God he's so shdjdbdje a aDORABLE
"Sungie, do you want some water?"
He nods silently and you slide the glass towards him
He drink the water without a problem but then turns to you
"You’re like an angel"
Jisung’s lips are kinda pouty as he looks at you with half-lidded eyes
“You alright?”
He nods before leaning his head against your shoulder and curling up closer against you
“You’re warm”
(｡♥‿♥｡)
“Do you wanna go home now?”
“I wanna cuddle with you”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You tilt your head and Jisung only looks up at you with a slightly bigger pout
“(Y/n), I wanna cuddle with you”
You give him water and he almost spills it drinks it
“(Y/n)! Come on and dance!”
It’s Minho
He’s pretty much pissfaced
But Jisung shakes his head furiously and almost pops your arm with how tight he’s holding on
“Don’t go!”
You turn to him and your heart almost bursts out of your chest with how cute he looks
So you turn back to Minho
“It’s okay, Min. You guys have fun”
“I don’t want you to go anywhere”
Jisung’s voice is softer now and you’re pretty sure he might pass out soon
That’s when you decide it’s time to head home
“Let’s take you home, Jisung”
“Are we gonna cuddle?”
“We can do whatever you want once we get back” c:
Felix
Super giggly
There’s two outcomes to drunk Felix
Cuddly Lix
Or ready to party Lix
I feel like he falls on the lower end for alcohol tolerance
Wouldn’t be surprised if he gets hammered after just a few shots
But also wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to control his alcohol intake for the sake of staying sober
In the chance that he does get hammered tho
He would be a giggling mess
“(Y/n), drink drink drink!”
Lix pushes the bottle towards you and you laugh bcs you’re supposed to stay sober for the night
“I can’t drink tonight, Lix”
“Nononono! Someone else can drive us home! We can always call a cab!”
You give him a look that tells him that you really shouldn’t and it gets him pouting
You pat his head as a silent apology just as you turn around to see Changbin and Hyunjin playing with the empty bottles
Immediately you’re like AA WHAT so unfortunately you have to turn your attention away from Felix to stop the rest of your friends from getting kicked out of the bar
Felix gets even more pouty
Because he wants your attention!
Because he likes you and he’s wondering why you’re giving everyone else your attention!
Felix becomes quiet
His intoxicated state makes it easier for his mood to dampen he typically wouldn’t be so open about his feelings
But now he’s all sad and pouty and watching you stop his friends from trashing the entire place
And he only thinks
Give me attention!!!!
So he starts tugging on your hand
“Hold on, Lix. CHANGBIN”
He retreats into his seat and sulks
When you turn back to him he’s just watching you with his brown eyes all sad looking
“I’m sorry, Lix”
“Hmph” TT
You pat his head gently until he leans into your touch and finally returns to holding onto your arm
Seungmin
Idk why but he’s part of the higher alcohol tolerance line
Probably up there w Changbin
I genuinely don’t know why but I feel like Seungmin holds his alcohol really well
But I also feel like he’s among the line that tries to stay away from actually getting really really drunk unless he knows that he can let loose
So if he’s like cronked as hell
It would probably be after about eight or nine shots
His face is all red, he’s just kinda stumbling all over the place and trying to convince you that he can walk in a straight line
“(Y/n), I’m totally fine, I promise”
“You just tripped over a whole table…”
It takes a bit of convincing but he finally lets you guide him from the bar to your table he tried to push you away at first but then he almost fell over
Seungmin almost immediately falls into his seat
When you sit next to him
He squeezes closer to you and throws his arm over your shoulder
“(Y/n), you have to spend more time with us”
You give him a silent agreement by nodding your head because you know that if you open your mouth you’ll probably end up laughing instead
“I don’t know why I’ve never told you this, but I like you a lot”
HUH
O_O
“Minnie, you’re drunk”
You try to tell yourself he’s just spitting nonsense because he’s drunk
But at the same time
He probably wouldn’t be saying it if it wasn’t true because he’s drunk
“Nooooo, you don’t get it”
He shakes his head and moves closer to you
“I’ve never told anyone this, but I really like you. You’re really cool and you’re really pretty and I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned this before”
“Hahaaaaa…”
“I’m so glad that you’re drunk because then you won’t be able to remember this”
“Seungmin…”
How are you supposed to tell him…
“It’s okay, (Y/n). I don’t think I’ll remember this either when I wake up.”
You just watch him and try not to giggle because he’s cute, but your heart’s about to break through your chest from how hard it’s pounding
How are you supposed to bring this up in the morning without embarrassing him
But you can’t just ignore it either
“Can you take me home please? I think I’m done for tonight”
You’re surprised he actually has the mind to tell you that he wants to go home before having more shots, but you oblige anyway
The conversation of his confession can wait until the morning
Jeongin
Feels like he’d be more on the quiet side
Maybe he’d be slightly more giggly and excited
But I feel like he’d just be clingy and quite kinda like Jisung
So he wouldn’t want to leave your side either ^-^
But he’s also this | | close to passing out in the bar
You’re there to drive him home but you’re also there to make sure he doesn’t get hurt while he’s there bcs Jeongin would be super stumbly
You hold onto him bcs you’re paranoid and you’re worried
Part of you knows that he would most likely be fine
But he’s a smol child so you’re just making extra sure he won’t get hurt
Might get a bit reckless too will tell you he’s fine
He’s sitting beside you while you try to make sure he doesn’t wander off on his own like Minho has and no one knows exactly where in the bar he is
“(Y/n) can we go to the arcade?”
You turn to him and he has these soft pleading eyes that just make you go AGH (♥ω♥*)
“Not now, Innie. Maybe tomorrow”
Oh no
HE’S POUTING NOW
You go into mild panic bcs you’re worried he might get sad
But instead he smiles lazily
“Don’t worry, (Y/n). I’ll wait until tomorrow” ^-^
“As long as I get to spend more time with you, I’ll wait”
AWWWW
“We can spend as much time as you want, Innie.”
His smile only grows and he leans into you
“You’re always so nice to me”
Jeongin’s smile becomes cheekier
He giggles and closes his eyes
Leans his head on your shoulder
“Innie, are you tired?”
He nods silently
“Do you wanna go home?”
He nods again
And looks up at you
And he has the brightest, sparkliest puppy eyes as he looks at you
Your heart goes BOOM BOOM BCS HE LOOKS SO CUTE AAA ╰(´⌣`)╯♡
“Let’s go home, Innie.”
#kwritersworldnet#kpopccc#stray kids#stray kids imagines#stray kids reactions#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#skz#skz imagines#skz reactions#skz scenarios#skz fluff#skz x reader#skz x you#bang chan#lee know#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#chan#minho#changbin#hyunjin#jisung#felix
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stray kids’ reactions to you taking medication for depression & anxiety ↠ all members
genre: reaction
word count: 2.4k
warnings: discussion of depression and anxiety, description of panic/anxiety attack, swearing
request: yes
a/n: hi anon! wow, this one turned highly personal really fast. so, this turned into a combination of your original request and how stray kids would react just knowing that you have depression/anxiety. i think how they’d care for and support you is a large part of their reactions to finding out, if that makes sense. i hope this brings you comfort~
✧ masterlist in bio ✧
bang chan
as with most things, chan would be very understanding
he’d just want you to feel and function the best you could
and not have to worry about whether you’re going to be able to make it through a day
he’d noticed when you first started dating that you occasionally withdrew into yourself
and needed time alone
chan didn’t really think anything of it
bc he also kinda just turns into a hermit and hides to reset and recuperate
but when you’d told him that you take meds for anxiety and depression
his sneaking suspicion that you’d been struggling with something was confirmed
it all made sense!
chan would be immediately and absolutely on board to support you
he wasn’t gonna let those nasty depression demons get the better of his y/n
no! fucking!! way!!! ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／
when you could stand it, he’d be really cute and cuddly to try to make you feel better
and he’d also research everything about the meds
on the days that you just needed to be left alone, he’d be worried
bc he wouldn’t want you to be lonely or to need him and for him to not be there immediately for you
but sometimes even just the presence of another person is exhausting
even if it’s your partner
he’d always come back with flowers or your favorite kind of pie or curry or something else delicious or beautiful
all he wants is for you to feel like you can face the world
bc he’ll always be there by your side (♡‿♡)
lee minho
minho would be matter of fact and accepting about the whole thing
he wouldn’t be fussed
and would just accept that sometimes you’d be less than cheerful
and that it has nothing to do with him or his actions
while he wouldn’t necessarily understand the ins and outs of depression and/or anxiety,
he would still be totally committed to supporting you
he’d be glad that you have meds
because it’s hard for him to see you so down and feeling so blank
he just wants you to be okay
he’ll ask if you’re okay and what he can do
sometimes he just has to ask you a few times
just to be sure
for his own peace of mind
if any family, friends, coworkers, anyone gave you shit about your depression and anxiety
minho would be the kind of person to just:
Σ(☉‿☉✿)Σ(☉‿☉✿)Σ(☉‿☉✿) “hold my flower”and prepare to fight the world for you
alkjfhakjfdhkj
minho would always make sure that you have your meds on time
either going to pick them up from the pharmacy for you
or reminding you to get them yourself
he’d also remind you to take the meds on your especially bad days
when you can’t exactly think or do much else
while he jokes that cats are the best medicine for anything
minho knows and agrees that medication for mental illness and such is important
bc it helps you be able to function
but that doesn’t stop him from trying his best to make you feel energized and focused through other means!
you have a weekly picnic date, even after dating for two years
it’s the sweetest thing ever
and definitely helps (≧◡≦)
seo changbin
it was the first time you slept over at his place
(a really lovely evening with lots of sweet cuddling ｡ﾟ(ﾟ∩´﹏`∩ﾟ)ﾟ｡ )
(((oh no now i’m soft HHHH)))
and you’d left your bag sitting out in the living room
changbin had thought it would be nice if he got your things for you in the morning
and he also wanted to make you breakfast (✿◠‿◠)
so he'd gone to pick up your bag and saw the little pill bottle
and was just “oh, okay~”
when he'd come into the bedroom, changbin looked a little nervous?
bc he wasn’t quite sure how to ask you what meds you were taking
he wasn’t really worried or anything
he just wanted to support you with absolutely no judgement because meds aren’t a bad thing~
he was so understanding and immediately, like chan, researched everything he could about helping someone with anxiety and depression
and then made you breakfast bc that’s wonderful anytime at all
on the days you felt like you couldn’t get out of bed
(or simply couldn’t whether you wanted to or not)
changbin would be there
if you could stay in bed the whole day, then he’d stay with you
if you had to get up and actually do things, he’d do his best to help you
he’d make you food, help you shower, even pick out clothes for you so that you wouldn’t have to think
he’d understand that sometimes you need a bit of a prod to do things
changbin would definitely try his best to make those reminders as caring and lighthearted as possible
after all, you don’t exactly have control over when lack of motivation strikes
changbin would understand and know a lot of the feelings you have
and be able to empathize based on his own experiences
really, he would just continue to love you ♡
hwang hyunjin
hyunjin, oh sweet hyunjin
he’d be so understanding
and would feel really sorry for you
but not in a weird, pitying way
just sad that your brain had decided to betray you in such a way
*insert all the empathy here*
he knows all too well the feelings of hopelessness you sometimes feel
he’d be glad that you have meds, actually
and would even remind you when you have therapy (if you do)
he’d probably send you random “when you have anxiety/depression” memes
you’ve busted out laughing at inopportune times more than once from said memes
when you’re in a depressive episode, hyunjin would be like a cat
just curled up with you as much as possible
if you can’t stand to have someone near you
then, he’d still text you cheesy stuff like those ridiculous valentine’s day pickup lines that are, in fact, funny at any time of the year
oh and don’t forget about the utterly sincere, will-make-you-cry texts, love letters, post-it notes, notes written in blueberries on the counter, and even signs he’d write for you
one day, you’d even opened a lunch he’d made you to find a little note rolled up around your fork:
“hi hello yes you, the pretty one reading this! i love youuuuuu~ have a wonderful day, darling
p.s. remember to take your meds <3”
hyunjin’s gentle nature would be just what you needed
to support you
to love you
to care for you, not only emotionally but also physically
he’d be like a sheltering tree for you
grounded and calm with deep roots, but able to bend with whatever wind your depression/anxiety decided to gust through your lives
han jisung
jisung would…
well, jisung would just:
“AAAAAY, ANXIETY BUDDIES!!” (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ;;;;;;
ajkdfhaljkfghaljf
definitely not the response you’d been expecting
but it was perfect nonetheless
you spent an afternoon together just talking about how your anxiety and depression manifested
what helped you to cope
what helped him to cope
which meds you took and if there was anything jisung should be particularly aware of
he’d be really interested in just how your depression and anxiety manifest
bc in order to care for you and help
he wants to know what bit of your brain chemistry has decided to fuck shit up
(sometimes jisung feels like he needs to fuck shit up, too. but really? come oooon y/n’s brain)
he’d leave you notes reminding you to do things when your ability to focus goes completely out the window
you’d wake up to find one of those large sheets of poster paper taped to the ceiling above your bed, saying:
“i love you, even if you have depression/anxiety that makes you forget to do the dishes. again. you’re still my little gremlin <3”
jisung would give you any and all resources he has to help you
he’d probably even write songs for you
there’d probably a mixtape out there somewhere of him screaming at your depression and anxiety
telling them to leave you the fuck alone
bc you’re too wonderful to have to deal with that shit
your weekends together would be spent in the bedroom
under the covers
giggling your asses off
and cuddling
bc it’s dangerous outside the blanket ( ｀^´ )
lee felix
felix would be so chill about it
you’d tell him and he’d just be like
“okay! so what kinds of toppings did you want me to put on this pizza again?”
you’d just kinda blink at him
you’d been worrying about what he’d say
and if he’d leave you or something
(thanks, irrational brain. love you. NOT! ffs)
as if lee felix would ever leave you,,,,,,
it was a relief not to worry about that
felix would still bundle you up in the biggest hugs ever
and smile his sunshine-filled smile at you
honestly, that alone should be enough to cure depression
but, unfortunately, it’s not
((*shakes fist at depression/anxiety*))
but with felix’s smile and meds, you’re feeling much better, thank you
felix would try to make life brighter for you after finding out
he’d understand that sometimes you want to do things but just can’t
there’s no rhyme nor reason to it
and it wouldn’t matter to him
bc he’d still get to spend time with you, even if it just meant sitting on the couch watching movies
felix would know that sometimes he would just have to make decisions for you
not in a controlling way
but just because your anxiety over making decisions and following through with things would get the better of you
he’d make sure you drink water and eat lots of yummy food
his deep voice is the most calming thing oh my god
and whenever you have an anxiety/panic attack
felix would immediately catch you up in his arms and slow dance with you through the entire episode
even if you’re barely able to stand, he’d hold you up and support you
just so, at an incredibly scary time, you’d have the most loving arms around you
kim seungmin
you were having a panic attack when seungmin came over one time
and you’d just kinda slumped against the wall as soon as he’d come in the door
aaaand you’d had to explain what was going on
but seungmin had just helped you breathe deeply
and eventually you’d calmed down to the point that you felt like
well, like a limp noodle (＠_＠)
you know that feeling when your body is so exhausted from having a panic attack
that you can’t exactly do much else?
yeah. that.
so, he would be glad that you have meds for your depression/anxiety
like jisung, seungmin would want to have A Stern Conversation with your depression/anxiety
bc he’s tired of its shit ψ(｀-´ )ψ
not because he can’t deal with it or you
no
because he hates to see you in so much distress
also,,,,,,
no one should have to feel like there’s no joy left in the world, irrational thinking rules their brain, and like they’re trapped in a cycle of dysfunction, no matter how hard they try
bc sometimes just trying isn’t enough
and seungmin understands that~
sometimes you just need a little outside help
he’d come up with all sorts of things he could do for you to help ease your anxiety
he’d write down all your triggers just so he’d know what avoid
or what to tell other people to avoid alkdfjhakljdfh
bc we all know seungmin is that person (-_-;)・・・
when he found out that you have trouble deciding on food at restaurants
he’d immediately printed out the menus to all the restaurants you loved
just so you could take your time deciding at home
and not feel overwhelmed
aksjfhlskfjdh what a good bean
seungmin is just a sweetie who wants the best for you, really
plus, when you’re feeling better….
the two of you can go on adventures!! (⌒▽⌒)
yang jeongin
jeongin would be a little baffled that someone’s brain could be that cruel to them
“you mean you sometimes just can’t be happy?”
“yep, or function, really. sometimes moving or getting out of bed or eating just isn’t a thing”
‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚
“don’t worry about. i’m on meds for it so it’s not as bad”
(◕︵◕);;;;
“jeongin i promise it’s okay…..”
“HHHHHHHHHH”
you just ended up cuddling him and explaining how depression and anxiety worked
(or rather, how fucking annoying and, even, debilitating they are)
that made him happier bc he understood
he’d try to help you do things that help with the depression
like going for walks
or drinking enough water
definitely regulating your sleep
jeongin: “i know, i know, y/n! it’s hard but you haaaave to wake up”
y/n: “mmph” (￢_￢)
jeongin: *lightly swats you with a pillow* “get! up!!”
y/n: *grumpgrumpgrump*
nights are even harder alkjhsjkslkfjhs
jeongin, on the phone: “no you’re not being a night owl tonight. no! y/n~~~~ come on, i’m tired and wanna go to sleep”
y/n: “but i’m not tired!! i’m just gonna play one more round of this and then go to bed. i promise!”
jeongin, not having any of your shit: “uhuh….”
y/n, *sweats*: “i promiiiiiiiiise”
…………………
3 am
jeongin, via email: “this is an automated reminder to G O T O S L E E P”
y/n: “shit.”
he’d want to be there to listen to you whenever you needed him
even though he doesn’t have much experience with this sort of thing
jeongin would do his best as a kind and properly aware person
like everyone else, he just wants you to be okay
#ultkpop#stray kids#stray kids reactions#stray kids fanfic#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst#stray kids drabbles#stray kids x reader#skz#skz reactions#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz drabbles#skz fanfic#skz fluff#skz angst#bang chan#lee know#skz minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#.moonlight#moonlit-han
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Grace, Too - Director Orson Krennic x Reader (Rogue One)
🎉🎉 !!Fic Number 200!! 🎉🎉
Hollllly crap we made it. We MADE it. And as he was fic number 100, 200 had to be Krennic. HAD to be.
@wltz-bby @mandy23b @happyskywhale @missunsympathetic
Author’s Note: Good god. Oh... This SONG has a lot to answer for.
So, I was introduced to these ‘Courtly Love’ ideas, and I thought they sounded like a lot of fun, so I have a few requests based around these based on conversations. This was the first one I attempted and uh, yeah we ended up with this glorious wordcount.
Also, for my dear requestor and also dear friend @sagitariusrising
Happy (Belated) Birthday! 😘💜💙
I hope this fic is everything you wanted!
Grace, Too - The Tragically Hip
Disclaimer: Premise/Idea not mine - although I did make some executive decision changes that I hope you still like / Rogue One characters not mine / some small Catalyst references.
Prompt: “A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved”
Premise: Orson Krennic has himself an obsession. You remind him too much of someone he once knew. Orson Krennic is dangerous. This much you know, but you are not about to heed your own warnings....
Words: 17,100
Warnings: Swearing / Possessiveness/Obsession/Yearning / Smut - like Sinday/Sunday smut.
_____
He said, I'm fabulously rich
C'mon, just let's go
She kinda bit her lip
Geez, I don't know
I come from downtown
Born ready for you
Armed with will and determination
And grace, too
The secret rules of engagement
Are hard to endorse
When the appearance of conflict
Meets the appearance of force
But I can guarantee
There'll be no knock on the door
I'm total pro here
That's what I'm here for
I come from downtown
Born ready for you
Armed with skill and its frustration
And grace, too
---
He had to admit Eadu was not his favourite planet in the galaxy. Susceptible to many a storm, Krennic had never known it not to be pouring whenever he arrived. He probably wouldn’t even have thought about travelling over at all, were his old friend Galen Erso not stationed there. True, it was an integral facility to the Death Star, but Krennic didn’t need to be here to survey operations, just receive the odd mail or two with updates. Krennic would much rather be at the heart of the weapon his was engineering; it was his project and his baby. But, he wouldn’t miss the opportunity to see Galen, and this was fairly important. He grimaced as he looked out at the rain again, hopefully this wouldn’t take too long either…
***
You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to the constant rainy patterns of weather here. No-one had ever really given you the uniform for it – having said that, how often did you really spend outside these days? A lot of your time was spent in labs pouring over facts and figures and complicated algorithms. You spent almost as much time in the labs as Galen did, which was certainly personal choice rather than because you were forced into long hours. You had two specialities: lasers and gem stones; you’d heard about the development of synthetic Kyber crystals and Galen’s work before, but you’d never beheld a real one until coming here. With the amount of effort you were putting in, you were starting to become a technical expert. (Also a little disappointed to say the least when you found out that synthetic Kyber hadn’t really worked as expected.)
Still, when you and Galen weren’t working on your pet energy project – allegedly what this had been for in the first place, until the real reason for Kyber research came to the fore – you were working on the Death Star. Which was some glorified super laser, that needed Kyber to work and… well, precision focus, as any good laser should have. Kyber wasn’t only going to be used as a power source, but also to make sure that this laser had range and trajectory… and didn’t waver off that. Besides, looking at the design, although it would collectively become one laser, it started at multiple points across the span of the dish. If just one of those was wrong, would the laser even fire at all?
So standing outside on the landing platform, having been summoned out here because apparently the Director of the whole project would be arriving, in the cold and wet was not your ideal start to the day. Especially as you’d been standing here for what felt like close to an hour. Where the heck was this guy?
You’d heard a lot about Orson Krennic before now; not all of it was great, some of it was hearsay, but there was a lot of information you found interesting to say the least. He’d been working on this project (with or without Galen) for most of his adult life, so it didn’t surprise you that he’d be coming all the way out here for an update. You had only ever had the pleasure of being copied on emails to Krennic and the way he responded sometimes was downright scary. You were glad you’d never had to give him bad news… but with your project being what it was, it wouldn’t be long before you did have to face the wrath of his block capitals.
Finally the sound of a cruiser cut through the air, by the distinctive sound it was a Delta-class T-3c. Yeah, you had a slight passion for ships too.
You all stood to attention on the platform, fighting off the shivers from the wind chill, squinting for visibility through the sheet rain and trying not to get blown over either. When the door to the shuttle opened Galen stepped forward, to welcome your visitor. He was possibly around Galen’s age, and held a confidence and self-importance about him as he strode forward down the ramp. But he had grace, too. You were almost taken aback by the way Krennic smiled as he shook Galen’s hand firmly, conversation fairly urgent. You couldn’t even lip read them from here, but body language was easy to interpret and it didn’t take long for Krennic to have your boss on the back foot. But it wasn’t panic, only surprise.
Galen beckoned the Director towards the facility but Krennic shook his head. This visit was clearly only to be brief; you weren’t about to have your first interaction with him after all; he wasn’t about to view your work, inspect it closely and criticize it. Maybe you were glad of that.
The conversation wasn’t as fleeting as you thought, a lot of back and forth that had the rest of you shooting each other looks and wondering how much longer you had to stand to attention in the freezing weather.
Eventually Galen gestured to all of you – you supposed he was saying ‘if you can’t come in, or stay very long, at least meet my team.’
Krennic seemed to consider this for a time, his eyes sweeping the line and freezing on you. Your breath caught for a moment – maybe it was just your imagination, but his gaze was certainly lingering on you, and those bright blue eyes of his were nothing short of captivating. You didn’t think you’d seen a blue like it anywhere in the galaxy. It felt like hours but it could only have been seconds before he turned back to Galen, they exchanged a few words briefly once more before Galen nodded and they shook hands again.
Oh, he really was just going to leave? The Director walked brisky back towards his shuttle before turning and calling back something else that he’d clearly forgotten. Galen yelled something in response and Krennic half smiled, before his eyes flicked over Galen’s shoulder and returned to you. Yes. You were right, he was certainly focused on you. There was a rumble of thunder overhead and the lightning cracked across the sky. You had never minded the lightning; you found the colours and patterns fascinating. But those blue eyes were immediately illumined by the bright white flashes and you found yourself swallowing hard, you couldn’t place the look on his face but you weren’t sure it was so appropriate. That image was sure to haunt you.
Krennic turned back, slower this time, and you found that you’d been holding your breath for quite some time.
Suddenly you didn’t think that you would mind receiving an email in block capitals from him at all.
***
Galen was probably the least subtle he could possibly be when he was trying to be subtle. He’d been tiptoeing around something with you for a couple of days and it really was starting to annoy you. You slammed your stylus down on the table with a frustrated sigh and turned to him.
“Galen, please, whatever it is… just tell me. You’re making me nervous!”
He blinked a few times, taken aback by your tone – as if he hadn’t been making it very obvious. “I- I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
You laughed, “Now I certainly will! What’s going on?”
“…It’s not my idea, but it is my decision.”
“What is?” You suddenly became scared yourself, “Are you firing me-!?”
Galen’s eyes widened and he held his hands up, “What? NO, no… quite the opposite. I am…” He paused and thought to rephrase his question, “They need a crystallographer on the Death Star. A good one. Someone who can keep up with the team here. One who knows what she’s talking about.”
You blinked a few times, before you understood, “You’re… sending me to the Death Star?”
“Yes. B- but only if you want to go!”
Wouldn’t that place you directly under Krennic’s authority? Why was it suddenly an exciting prospect? “I would be honoured. This is- your decision?”
“They asked me for recommendations and there was only ever one choice.”
That had you beaming, “Thank you for the opportunity, Galen.”
“Well, I know you won’t let the facility down. And you’re always welcome back.”
You chewed your lip thoughtfully for a second, and couldn’t help but ask: “What is he really like?”
“Who?”
“The Director.”
Galen didn’t really answer the question, although a smile twitched on his face, “We met in the Futures Program. I’ve known him a very long time… I can’t say he’s ever changed.”
“So he’s an adult teenage boy?” Maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but Galen laughed.
“Well, he has qualities that you’d be forgiven for thinking he was one.”
“Huh.” You nodded, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“But he is brilliant, of that there is no doubt. The Death Star project may have been going a long time, but I doubt anyone else could have completed it the way he has. Sharp. Intelligent. You’ll like him, I think.” You wondered if you already did.
“Well, we’ll see if I’m begging to come back any time soon-!”
He chuckled gently, “Well, I certainly hope not.”
It didn’t take you very long to pack up, you were practically living out of boxes as it was. And you weren’t sure if you were nervous about having to move or not. You supposed you were in two minds; you’d actually get to see and be on the Death Star while you worked – sure the plans were one thing but, once you got a feel for the actual structure, maybe you could even be a little more experimental… The advantage of being on Eadu was you could hide away in a lab and make the 10,000 mistakes to get to the one (usually accidental) breakthrough. You were the only one judging yourself here, it was quiet; out there, and under Krennic, all eyes would be on what you were doing. You’d maybe be given the leeway of 2 or 3 mistakes but none more than that. And everything would be urgent. Needed yesterday! It was a good thing that you could work under pressure.
Leaving was hard, and as you hugged Galen goodbye you couldn’t help but feel a pain in your heart:
“I wish it didn’t mean leaving.”
“You deserve it.”
“Maybe. I hope I get to come back, eventually.”
“We’ll certainly welcome you with open arms!”
“Take care of yourself, Galen.”
“And you – if he gives you any trouble, come straight to me.”
You nearly grimaced, “Noted, but I really hope it doesn’t come to that!”
***
The cruiser that picked you up wasn’t his, and you were glad the journey wasn’t as long as you expected, so you didn’t have too much time to overthink what was happening to you. In fact as the Death Star loomed into view your mouth was agape – you weren’t sure you expected the sheer size of it: easy to look at some numbers on a datapad but, when it was in front of you, you thought you might have bitten off a little more than you could chew.
You were equally pleased and disappointed that Krennic was neither there to pick you up or greet you on the station – mostly because you didn’t seem to be able to find any appropriate words to say. The bustle of engineers, technicians and general command staff told you you were a million miles from your lab on Eadu, and you found yourself unable to communicate in anything other than one word awe filled sentences. Thankfully the Officer who greeted you seemed to understand, and as she walked you to your lab (everyone was obviously eager for you to start!) she chuckled warmly,
“Don’t worry, I was exactly the same when I arrived here. It’s a lot. You’ll get used to it – and from what I understand you’ll be a very welcome addition to our team.”
“Thanks,” You swallowed hard, “yes, I understand there’s an expectation on me here.”
“Well, the Director only wants the best of the best.” She keyed you into the lab and then handed you your pass, “If you’re here it’s because you are the best. And he wants you.” You tried hard not to think about that in any way other than for your work, but it was hard. Ever since that look he’d given you as he left, those vivid blue eyes filled your dreams – including those that you’d rather Krennic kept out of. As she continued talking, she snapped you back to reality: “Anyway, I will leave you to get settled in here, all your things will be sent to your quarters. I’ll have someone sent up with all the details and your datapad.” She grinned at the door before she turned to head out, “Welcome to the Death Star!”
***
You spent your time unpacking all your laboratory kit - some of this work you’d only trust to go right with your own gear that much was certain - before you started examining the lab closely. Everything was, as expected, state of the art, they had every machine it was possible to get in order to aid you on your quest to get these vectors just right. If the work wasn’t quite so serious this was almost a wonderland for you.
As you continued to stare around the lab, making mental notes of exactly which you would need and would be the most useful for your work, the lab doors slid open again to another visitor. You turned to explain yourself away as the new girl but immediately froze.
Standing opposite you, also seemingly glued to the spot and an unreadable look on his face, was none other than Director Krennic. You weren’t sure you expected to see him so soon, and you were still thoroughly unprepared for it. He recovered better than you.
“I was told my new hire had arrived. You-” He paused for a minute, head tipped, before a small smile appeared on his face, “You’re from the Eadu facility!” After all, Krennic hadn’t asked only Galen for help in recruiting – you just had the best credentials. But he certainly recognised you from that platform.
“Yes, Sir, Galen sent me – he said you were looking for a good crystallographer.”
“Yes. And you’re here, welcome. It’s good to finally meet you in person.”
“The honour is mine, Director, I look forward to working with you.” You swallowed hard,
“Believe me, it is me that is honoured… uhm?”
“Oh, Y/N, Sir.” Then you blushed forgetting yourself, “Ah! Officer L/N!”
That smile became a gentle smirk, “Would it be so awful for me to refer to you by your first name?”
“…I’m sorry, I… It’s how we do things on Eadu, I… realise that I am not there anymore Sir, forgive me.” You could feel yourself getting hotter.
“You need not be forgiven, Y/N. I’m happy to do things your way.” Krennic placed a datapad on the table in front of him, “It’s all set up correctly, I made sure of that myself. I have to make sure my researcher is well equipped on the first day of her job, after all.” On top of it he lay another access card, “You’ll need that for your room, your ID will allow you access to almost as many files as me, I figured you’ll need them.” Krennic’s blue eyes fell back on you, “Anything you can’t access you come directly to me, and anything else you need, the same. I will make sure it reaches you promptly.”
“Yes, Sir.” You nodded through his explanation, “Thank you.”
Krennic nodded back, looking around the room, “Tell me, how do you like the lab?”
“It’s certainly state of the art. There’s probably not another one like it across the galaxy. There’s a lot I would like to explore with these devices once I’m finished with my work for the Battle Station. Time permitting.”
Krennic shrugged, “Do what you will with the time that you have free. I expect you’ll work hard.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good.” He winked stepping back from you, “I will leave you to get settled, and may I welcome you to the Death Star! I’m very excited to see what you can do for us!”
And by that smirk on his face, yes, you could bet…
Krennic hurried back to his office cursing himself. Yes, he wanted the best – and he had absolutely no doubt that he would get it with you. He’d read every CV in great detail; obviously he’d paid more attention to those from Galen, considering the weaponry was coming from that lab, but Galen had neglected to mention that you were with him on Eadu in his note for you. You were Galen’s first choice, and Orson Krennic was not about to go against his friend’s advice. It was just your look. Not just physically, but that look on your face – he couldn’t shake it. Now he could bet that your personality would be similar just to curse him…
He didn’t fall in love often, not hard. Orson could fall in and out of ‘love’ with people very quickly – always liked to keep a string of bed mates, if he didn’t fall in love, and didn’t necessarily care, then he wouldn’t get hurt. And he hardly needed to put in much effort, a little bit of flirting and an expensive drink was all he usually needed. Besides, now Krennic had this rank bar and a reputation, so he probably needed even less: sometimes people were trying to pick him up – he couldn’t say he wasn’t flattered.
On the occasions he did though – it usually had the proficiency to mess him up. You reminded him very much of a girl he’d known in the Futures Program – back when he was young and reckless. Okay, Krennic could back track on that sentence, young. That, first love, fast heartbeat, can’t stop staring, ‘only thing in the world that matters’ kind of feeling. The kind of love that at that age would make him naïvely think it’d be forever – where their ambitions would meld together and everything would just work out. Even if they had no idea how.
Krennic would stand by it as a real love, a feeling he had chased since he lost her. He’d fallen that hard again since – sure – but never in the same way. Orson didn’t think you could ever get a ‘first love’ feeling back. And he certainly didn’t want to ever feel like he did when it ended again. But you, and your face, and your body, and that look you gave him – all Krennic could see in you was her.
Turning to his datapad for a second he had half a mind to see who your parents were, then stopped short of himself. ‘Don’t be stupid, Orson, she’s too old for that!’ – even if marginally.
It made him curious about you though, what if your personality was the same? What if all of these factors culminated in him… feeling like that about you. He almost cursed at himself.
‘Don’t be stupid, she works for you, and you’ll shake it. It’s just the shock, it’s two or three glimpses of her face – you’ll be able to pick out all the differences in no time. Then you won’t think about what you loved and lost… or yearn for it back.’
Krennic scoffed at the very idea of him yearning, but brought you up on his datapad anyway.
A smirk started to spread its way across his face as he lingered on your photograph. Well, he certainly wasn’t averse to one of you getting messed up in the process of this partnership…
***
Krennic was right, one of you was going to get messed up by this; and it seemed more obvious now that person was going to be him. He wanted your personality to be different to hers, then he could form some distinction - and for the most part you had differences, you were your own woman.
The problem was Krennic let himself get obsessed over the similarities, those small details that wouldn’t have mattered to anyone else. And if he was honest those parts of you that were nothing like her just messed him up even more, because he liked those too. He liked you for you. It worried him.
You busied yourself with your work and tried to keep out of everyone’s way. You very much hoped it might be ‘out of sight out of mind’; but knew with the importance of the project you wouldn’t have that luxury. That had you experimenting until the early hours of the morning sometimes - and you always sent Krennic an update email last thing before you went to bed. Just so he never had to come looking himself: you’d heard all about him, but now you were here you’d witnessed it yourself. And Krennic screaming at people in corridors was not something you were that ready for. You did not want that wrath coming down on you, so you tried to keep one step ahead of the man that knew this station inside and out.
What amazed you was, as you placed your datapad down for the evening and settled into your sheets, more often than not you’d receive a ‘ping’ to let you know of incoming mail. You’d ignored it for a while but - being too curious - investigated, only to find Krennic had sent you a thank you note. ‘What the heck is he still up working for!?’
Well, this became a regular occurrence, and tonight was no different - only now you waited to see if he’d reply and you smiled as it came in.
‘Why can’t everyone do this? Do you know how well this Station would run!? Thank you. As ever. - K.’
You hovered over the reply button, as you had nearly all week. Every single time the knot in your stomach made you panic and you bailed out. Not tonight.
‘You are welcome, Director. Just doing my job. It’s getting late, you should probably get some rest.’ As he had, you signed off with your initial.
It took him all of 5 seconds to reply, ‘I could say the same. Goodnight, Y/N. – K.’
‘Goodnight, Director. Sleep well.’ You grimaced as the message flew off to the other side of the Death Star, was that a step too far? Oh well. Couldn’t take it back now!
Eventually your reports got shorter, not for lack of trying, but progress was slow. And you always tried to make ‘nothing really happened today’ last for as many pages as possible. But you realised quickly that Director Krennic was smart enough to read between the lines; he never asked for more than you gave him, but as he started asking you for progress updates, rather than waiting until you sent them, you knew he wasn’t far off the point where you might start receiving those dreaded block capital emails.
It wasn’t like what you’d done up until now wasn’t hard; it was. It was just now you were at a snagging point and you really didn’t want to have to redo what you’d already done to get past it. It also wasn’t something you could easily bypass. And you couldn’t ignore it. If you got this wrong that laser didn’t work - and it’d all come back on you.
This calculation was going to take time you didn’t have - NOBODY had - and the pressure was starting to get you frustrated.
You didn’t actually receive a block capital email, but an impromptu visit to your lab. And the colour must have immediately drained from your face - to counteract the way your heart decided to beat like a kick drum - because Krennic raised his hands in almost apology.
“Thought it might be quicker to ask you rather than you to write up a report.”
“Well you already know it’s not going well.”
“I know woolly language when I see it. You don’t need to use filler with me. If you’re stuck just say so.”
“Forgive me, Sir, but I don’t exactly want to get yelled at, and there’s a lot at stake here.” You cursed yourself internally for being so comfortable with talking to him like this. But decided that it might be best to speak your mind.
“Why would I yell at you?” You gave him a pointed look that Krennic understood, but he didn’t think you quite understood the question. Why would he yell at you? Instead he cleared his throat, “I understand… Why don’t you, walk me through it?”
“Can you help?” It wasn’t meant to come out so disbelieving, and you thought you’d put your foot in it about 10 times during this conversation already - but Krennic just shrugged.
“I’ll see if I can assist. Maybe I’ll have a perspective you’re not thinking of.”
You took a breath, “Okay...”
“Okay.” He gave a firm nod, and sat at one of the lab tables, “What exactly are you trying to achieve that you cannot?”
You took a deep breath, “Think of holding a laser pointer,” you collected one, and as a demonstration you pointed it at the blank wall and clicked it on; “Even with a steady hand, or two hands, there’s movement.” The dot wasn’t wiggling much but Krennic nodded along, “Well, this station is just a massive destructive laser pointer, with 8 different lasers all coming together… so in fact there’s 9 laser pointers in total. Even a millimetre out can be the difference between this laser working, or catching on something we don’t want it to and blowing up Imperial Forces, or - god forbid - the entire station…!”
You walked over to a little holder you’d rigged up, placing the pen upon it and stepping back: “Crudely speaking when focusing a laser through Kyber it should keep the laser's trajectory steady with pinpoint accuracy, whilst also maintaining the power and range of the laser. It’s a multipoint system, if even one of those points is off, the whole thing fails. And what better to take the power of a laser created by Kyber than…”
“Kyber.”
You smiled enthusiastically, “Exactly!”
Krennic looked back at the dot on the wall, “So what’s your snag?”
You turned the datapad to face him, “This.”
He raised an eyebrow immediately, “That’s… a lot of numbers.”
“Yes. And every time I calculate it, it’s an error. And it needs to balance because it’s got to work between-”
“Nine lasers.” You said in unison.
“Correct.” You smiled, liking that he was getting it. “I don’t expect Kyber not to be able to take the force, it’s the making sure we’re hitting it all just right. To check how much the crystals might refract the energy. To make sure there’s not a power surge… I just can’t get the power balance right to get the trajectory… not to do something ridiculously wild.”
“Or make the whole station virtually useless.”
“Yes. And the thing is that the number is nearly always the same. You know, like�� I’m point-5 out, and yet I can’t figure out where that is coming from. Freakin’ crystals, and Kyber is notoriously the worst!” You placed your hands on your hips, “I’ll get it. I just need time.”
He nodded, “You have time believe me.” Krennic stood, “I believe I should leave you to it.”
“But the completion of the-”
“Let me worry about that. You worry about getting my vectors right. You have time.” That he could promise you. Krennic didn’t want you to panic, he thought that would throw this project into even more disarray. He needed you with a level head and at your best mindset. He thought he knew how to do just that.
You flushed, “Thank you, Director.”
“Don’t mention it, Y/N.” He paused as he got to the door, turning back to you those blue eyes caught yours and you nearly jumped at the dark flicker across them. “I look forward to reading your report, tonight.” The way his voice lowered like that, how that smooth tone he usually kept laced with a growl had you struggling to breathe as he left, and you had to undo your uniform and catch your breath.
‘Geez, what was that!?’ Did you have a thing for your senior commander? A real thing!? Sure those damn eyes were always haunting your dreams, and he was nearly always your daily closing thought (but he put himself there, didn’t he!) but… this was more than that, this was a physical reaction - and you were sure he was eliciting an emotional one from you, too.
“God dammit, Y/N,” you breathed, looking back to the door and wishing he’d come walking back through it, “could you have a worse idea-!?”
***
He had to be honest he wasn’t sure why he had no semblance of control around you; it should have been easy to control. Krennic spent his life trying to control his emotions… okay, maybe not very well but he did. You had him smiling all over the place. He far outstayed his welcome in the lab whenever he found reason to go down there; and Krennic certainly found plenty of reason. Usually if he visited anyone at their work station he was either none too pleased with them, or he wanted their report - and quickly! - before he swept himself off to another meeting or urgent matter around the station.
He liked the sound of your voice explaining things to him; and how every question he asked was met with not just an answer, but a good answer. Instead of a string of ‘I don’t know, sir’s. Nothing Krennic asked of you ever seemed like trouble either; then again he supposed you wouldn’t really want to refuse the Director of the Death Star what he wanted. It was obvious you wanted to remain here, and you were trying to do your very best to figure out all these algorithms alone.
Krennic sent you an assistant and even got you on calls with people in similar fields. The assistant stayed with you a little, until it got a little too complicated even for them and you dismissed them with thanks - you’d got a step closer, that’s all you could ask for. Eventually though, you had to reach out to Galen - and Krennic wanted to sit in on these calls. You wondered if it was because he thought the two of you would spend the majority of it dragging him - you rather thought you might be giving him a string of compliments with half the chance to do so. And the three of you started to break your work down to basics. Krennic’s new perspective aided more than you really wanted to admit to him, but he had this attitude that made you think he wanted to be useful here - and it made you more than a little suspicious. Maybe he really was spying on you both…
Krennic wasn’t sure if he wasn’t forcing the relationship to grow beyond appropriate parameters, all discussions did still revolve around work after all, but was happy that you were forthcoming. Spending more time with you meant he could analyse you more - and whilst you still very much reminded him of his ex-lover, you were becoming your own person. The person who filled his thoughts. You were almost his every waking moment.
When in your lab together, even when Krennic was listening to every word, he was watching your body - the way you moved was fluid as you eagerly explained something and demonstrated. But meticulous and calculating when you were working on a screen - absolutely none of your energy was wasted that could have been used to think on the problem. And yet even every small movement you made was significant. Usually to cross through or correct a calculation. Change your vector arrows around a little. Krennic liked watching you do this too, because when it was all correct you gave this small satisfied smile, and even though it was to yourself, it was very endearing - it was one thing he always looked forward to seeing.
Tonight, as ever, Krennic was agonising over waiting for your report. No matter how exhausted he might be when he finally retired to his quarters for the evening, he always knew your end of day email would come through and Krennic forced himself to stay awake for it. Mostly so he could read too much into the string of ‘flirty’ emails that followed it, but he couldn’t have been the only one who read that energy. After all, sometimes he gratuitously flirted back, and you still kept responding.
As soon as he heard that ping he rushed across the room to read it. You reporting was always concise even though you managed not to leave a single detail out - and now he knew more about your work, it was easier to understand and for him to scan through. Krennic would be more thorough tomorrow.
‘Thorough as ever, Ms. L/N. – K.’
‘I like to make sure you don’t need to ask questions.’
‘Where’s the fun in that? – K.’
‘It helps me sleep better.’
‘Me not ask questions about your reporting? – K.’
‘Goodnight Director. Please get some sleep!’ He remembered the first time that he’d read that goodnight from you, how he’d stared at those words for a long time - heart stilled. It didn’t help him sleep at all, far from it. In fact nothing about you seemed to help anything - except Krennic thinking on you.
You were impressive - dare he say that you had more skill in your particular area than maybe even Galen did. That, added to the weight of his constant Futures Program reminder, kept you at the forefront of his mind constantly. Krennic found it very hard to concentrate on his own work; and his thoughts wandered, particularly in meetings he found to be less than stimulating. He’d poured over your CV and your previous published research time and again. Read all your imperial records and anything Intelligence could get hold of on you. Krennic knew almost everything there was to know, and yet he wanted to hear it all from you. And you seemed less than forthcoming with information that was personal.
That almost worried him - maybe you weren’t looking for anything other than a professional relationship with him. Krennic wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to keep it that way; eventually he’d have to make some kind of move - he couldn’t let you go without you knowing. He wasn’t about to let you be the (other) one that got away.
Not both of you.
Time ticked on this evening, and he lay in his sheets wide awake. Work was making him drowsy; and he’d been up and down trying to work himself to sleep, but every time he put his datapad down and switched off the lights he was alert again. Krennic glanced at the clock and groaned, watching the minutes race towards his alarm.
Unsurprisingly it was thoughts of you that were keeping him awake. Usually you were on his mind at night; you were certainly the last one before he turned the light off, but usually he could drift to sleep perfectly fine. Not tonight.
Krennic placed his hands palm down on his stomach, inhaling and exhaling slowly: wasn’t that how you did it? Deep, slow, calming breaths. That evidently made things worse, and his breathing patterns this time brought with them fairly vivid images that occasionally he’d seen in dreams. Certainly none of them were very professional - and all of them were about you.
‘Stars-! Orson, stop it!’ But he couldn’t, and his mind wanted to play tricks on him, trying to make him imagine what it would feel like to touch your bare skin, to hear you moan quietly, the way you might say his name in elation. He growled to himself as heat gathered a little lower than his hands were. He moved them, breaths already short and sharp and not at all where he’d intended to be at…
“This is a bad idea.” Orson groaned softly and bit his lip, squeezing his eyes shut bringing all those images back; did he really have any better ones?
***
It wasn’t a lie to state you were getting closer. At least to the point where Krennic started to make jokes in meetings that were clearly meant for you only. And when you looked up to him unsure if it was appropriate to laugh and he’d almost dare you to, you knew they certainly were. He’d always ask for a score out of 10 in his emails to you now. And it was refreshing for you to find a similar relationship to the one you had with Galen here… well, maybe you shouldn’t have been surprised. They were good friends after all, and there had to be a reason for that.
Krennic also made a habit of being wherever you were. And you weren’t sure that was so endearing. You understood why he would want to be around your lab - maybe not as often as he was, but then… perhaps you knew the reason for that too, you just didn’t want to hope on it - but not why he’d turn up in corridors he had no business being in. Or would end up in the cafeteria at the exact moment you walked in. He even ended up in staff briefings he’d specifically asked someone else to take either so he could sit or stand near you. You couldn’t help but find some of this behaviour odd: was Krennic stalking you? Was he looking out for you? Was he protecting you? You couldn’t imagine it was just coincidence - and part of you hoped it wasn’t. You just couldn’t really tell his intentions. That’s what scared you the most.
By now you’d heard the coffee room chat about Krennic - seemed he had a bit of a lady’s man reputation. Pretty smooth at getting you into bed, but would love you and leave you just as fast, and on-to-the-next-one.
Were you simply the next one? Because as much as by now you wanted to be, you certainly didn’t want to be one on a list… love you was okay… but leave you? You weren’t the type of woman who would put yourself in that position.
For him would you?
It made you a little more cautious around him, and suddenly that made your relationship slip. Because you didn’t know if you should be flirting with him or joking with him as much as you were. This pull back from you didn’t faze Krennic too much, just made him try a little harder.
For you it then became obvious what he wanted. And you had to do your damndest to control yourself. You both did.
You were using every ounce of your Imperial training to try to ignore your feelings, to make sure your face stayed level and revealed nothing. You always tried to keep your eyes on his face; instead of the wandering they wanted to do - even when he wasn’t directly talking to you. That didn’t mean that when he was walking away from you, or simply keeping busy in your lab, you weren’t discreetly checking him out. You had to wonder what he looked like out of that uniform, considering he looked so gorgeous in it. You were inexplicably drawn to him, but you weren’t sure if it was his power you were attracted to: the rank bar on that uniform told everyone exactly who was boss and he walked like he owned every corridor in this place. He didn’t even need to exert his influence in meetings, everyone knew he was the most important man in the room. When Krennic had something to say everyone listened, even when he said it quietly. You’d never known someone to command that kind of attention, and considering that reputation you were not the only officer - of any gender - who fawned over him. You were just the best at hiding it.
That charisma he exuded really was something to behold; he was just far too confident. Maybe a little conceited in it too, but you were sure you’d be powerless to it. The Director probably had the ability to walk up to you and say “Come to bed with me” and you’d go on that alone, you knew if he was so inclined, he could just say it like that. It was probably in your favour that Krennic liked to be a little more suave. Krennic seemed like one for class and grace.
Or was it that you really were attracted to him, that you had some kind of undeniable chemistry. That you would almost count him a friend. That you just liked being in Krennic’s aura and talking to him about work… you’d even started to open up to him about personal stuff, where you’d grown up, your family… how exactly you’d ended up a crystallographer who was working here on laser vectors. And most importantly how much you loved storms, planetary or solar - this seemed like something you had to let him know. Just a silly little fact, perhaps, but to you it really meant something. It was little moments like that, when he laughed at your stories, that you thought this really might be mutual attraction, rather than someone Krennic just wanted to get in bed.
Yet, you had an effect on him also and he tried to hide it as well as you did. You caught it, only because you knew the look of someone trying to contain themselves. You saw it in the mirror or polished surfaces of this battle station all the time. Krennic quite often clenched his jaw around you, he had this habit of staring at you like he was staring through you; and sometimes he would just stare forward if you were next to him. That almost annoyed you, because you wanted to be able to look into those crystal blue orbs just once...
But if Krennic was watching you, then it was an altogether different story, and if he ever caught you catching him, that look in his eyes didn’t disappear; it was hungry, and although it stirred something within you that you had to fight even harder to control, it scared you a little too - and in the back of your mind it lit a spark that became a raging fire. And you had to know, would he act on that look too? You made a vow, before you’d finished your work, before you’d left this battle station - you would find out.
Today hadn’t been so bad by all accounts; the test you’d set up you would have to leave overnight, so you got out of the lab on time. Maybe you’d even get an early night tonight. Maybe you’d persuade the Director to one of his own with your report email; you thought he probably needed it.
A frown pulled its way across your face as you arrived at your quarters with the door open, and you poked your head around it, gasping to find other officers moving things around, and carrying what appeared to be boxes of your stuff. You hadn’t authorised this!
“What’s going on!?!” You blurted, a little angrier than you’d meant, “What are you doing!?” Then you froze for a second; had you read something wrong? You knew something was up with him… but maybe you were supposed to have acted on it by now? Maybe your work was taking too long - was he pissed at you? Did Krennic want you off the station!? You looked to the most senior officer, “Am I being thrown off the project?!”
“No.” At least you could breathe then, “We’re simply moving your quarters.”
“Moving my quarters?” You couldn’t help but be confused: had you missed that email? It seemed a little too important to just be sprung upon you. “On whose orders!? I haven’t signed off on this!”
“Director Krennic’s.”
That shut you up almost immediately. ‘Oh well shit, what’s he moving me for!?’ You swallowed hard, not even caring if it was visible. “Well, in that case you better show me where I’m moving to…”
Once you got there - and they assured you that your key card would still work - you realised that you hadn’t just moved to any old room. Krennic had moved you to a commander's quarters, and it was plush to say the least. You had so much more room in here. The bay window stretched at least half the room and you couldn’t help your small smile; ‘he remembered’. Your little stories of staying up huddled in a window frame to watch storms in nearby, or passing, solar systems and planets. You shook your head slowly to yourself and picked up your datapad again, figuring out where exactly you were on the ship - further from the labs, which was a minor inconvenience. It seemed that at least there was an elevator close by that you could use to get to the right floor and then it’d be a straight walk. What interested you though was, looking at the schematic, you appeared to be just two corridors away from Krennic’s own room.
That was not coincidence. “Son of a-” suddenly you found yourself laughing. Why? So he could walk past your room every day? So he had you closer? And looking at the rooms around, probably as close as he could get: you were surrounded by his senior command team.
You moved through the room, and started to notice little details that he’d had placed here; books by your favourite authors, or researchers… your favourite music. Maybe you’d told him far too much about yourself. But it was the fact he retained the information that had you impressed.
He’d even left you a box, tied with ribbon in your bathroom, and when you pulled at it you found it was filled with very expensive toiletries, that you knew he wouldn’t have been able to come by easily, in all your favourite scents.
Nothing is coincidence at all… is it Krennic? Was he trying to woo you - was this all part of a game plan; you could only conclude yes. And by the way your heart was currently beating in your chest, you had to say it was working.
Moving back into the main room and sitting back on the bed with your datapad, ready to send your report for the evening, you’d failed to notice the letter lying on top of your sheets. You pulled your finger across the top of the envelope and unfolded the card carefully:
‘Dear Y/N,
Welcome to your new quarters. I believe someone of your talent is worthy of somewhere a little nicer. You will find me just down the hall if you need anything, and please do not hesitate. I hope you enjoy your stay here. And, should there be a storm, that you enjoy the view.
Director Orson C. Krennic
Head - Imperial Weapons Division’
The card also seemed to be scented, which you had to raise an eyebrow at; ‘who uses scented note cards?! What’s that all about!?’ You put it down to having more money than sense and placed the card on your bedside table, before getting back to what was really important.
As expected, even when it was a little earlier in the evening, Orson Krennic responded to your email almost immediately.
‘Earlier than usual? You really are efficient, Y/N. – K.’
‘Thought I would get an early night in Director… in my new quarters. You should to.’ - You weren’t meant to imply together, but you also didn’t care if that’s how he read it.
‘Any thoughts? – K.’
‘They are very nice, thank you. Although in future a little more notification would help!’
‘Noted. And as you are closer, you can deliver your reports in person now – K.’
You raised an eyebrow, why would that make any sense? ‘When I can send it over email?’ Why... would you? Even when closer the time it’d take you to walk to his quarters, give him the document and walk back, would still be far longer than an email.
‘Consider it. – K.’
‘I will!’ You weren’t sure you would, but that was what he wanted to hear. And of course you’d play to that whim.
‘Good. Goodnight, Y/N – K.’
‘Goodnight Orson.’ You stared at the email after you’d sent it and almost screamed. What were you doing-!?! Why were you addressing a senior officer by his first name!? What was he bringing you to? You placed your head in your hands and took a deep breath. ‘Okay, it’s one slip and you can say you were tired and apologise profusely later…’
You threw your tablet on your table too and snuggled back under your new plush sheets. The bed was cozy and soft and suddenly you couldn’t be happier that Krennic had arranged for this. You closed your eyes; it was this time of the evening you liked to try and ground yourself. It was clear that both of you wanted each other to some degree, but you were the one that had to be sure about this and the most careful. You had more to lose here; Krennic had the ability to kick you off the project, not just out of his bed… if you ever got in it.
But by now you were pretty sure you would end up in it. It was more a matter of when.
He was powerful, you’d covered that. But Krennic was also dangerous, that much was also obvious… dangerous in terrible and delicious ways.
So perhaps, as well as everything else, you were drawn to that danger. You wondered suddenly which side of him would show up more when it was just the two of you alone… in conditions more intimate. Would that power completely consume you; did you have any chance at all? You weren’t sure you wanted any at just the opportunity to be pinned under his body. To run your hands over his skin. To answer all the questions you had, and see if all those water cooler rumours were true… (You hoped to God some of them were.)
You were close to drifting off when your eyes suddenly snapped open. Krennic was your favourite pre-sleep thought, and your subconscious tonight brought you a revelation.
That note card was not scented. You scrambled around for it and held it close to your face, inhaling. That was what Krennic smelled like - you should know because you’d always thought he smelt pretty good, it was a fairly subtle scent when on his skin - here it was a little stronger, which is why it had taken you so long to pick up on it.
That damn man had sprayed his note to you with his cologne.
***
You decided that Krennic knew far too much about you. On the morning after your move you opened your door to head back to the labs, so you could check on the results of your testing, and Krennic was two steps from your door.
You were startled by his sudden presence but he offered nothing but a small smile and a casual, “Right on time, Ms. L/N.”
“Uh- I- Director.” You wouldn’t exactly say you greeted him as he felt in step with your walk towards the elevator.
“How do you think your testing went?”
“Well…” You took a deep breath, instantly regretting it as that cologne seemed to surround you completely. Now your senses were looking for it. Your stomach knotted and you felt the immediate urge to press your thighs together and groan. Dammit.
“Well?” Krennic pressed, eying you when you didn’t answer. You hoped your face wasn’t flushing even though you felt hot.
“It’s a make or break test. I certainly hope it’s worked.” You could hear that strained edge to your voice, you knew for certain Krennic would have picked up on it.
As you turned into the elevator you immediately reached for your button, the Director was two steps ahead of you and your hands brushed. You withdrew yours immediately, and knew you must have been red by now. “S-Sorry.”
“No, my apologies, I just wanted to help.”
You stared at the floor of the elevator for a good few minutes, holding your fingertips in your other hand. Why did it tingle like that? You didn’t actually ever think you’d physically touched him before, had you? Even when you’d been so close previously in the lab. But it’s not even like it was his skin. In fact, for someone with such a reputation, Krennic had very little skin on display at all. Did he ever not wear gloves? Not that you could recall.
‘Stop-! Y/N! You sound so repressed! You’ve seen naked men before.’ Your eyes flicked back to Krennic, staring at the ceiling, and you swallowed hard. Sure, but you hadn’t seen him naked.
The rest of the ride was conducted in silence, because you didn’t trust yourself not to blurt out anything you shouldn’t, but as you left Krennic took a step to stop the doors from closing.
“What, not even a goodbye?”
You paused in the corridor and turned back to him, unable to stop yourself from smiling that he actually wanted that from you. “Goodbye Director, have a good day.”
“Not likely, but work permitting. Good day, Y/N.” and as the doors slid closed on him you caught his wink, and could swear he was smirking.
You stood outside your little lab for a long time before you entered. You admitted to yourself you were delaying the inevitable but you needed to. After all, if this was a complete failure then you might as well throw out almost a years’ worth of work. Well, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but at least all the months you’d been up here on the battle station.
You’d need a good stiff drink and to cry in bed for a couple of days at the very least. Oh, and you’d probably be fired, reputation in ruins…
You keyed yourself in and flicked on the lights. What you had done was rigged up a few small versions of the Death Star and set each of them to different vectors. The pieces of Kyber you were using were tiny, but they would still work in principle with your laser pens.
You stared at the points on the wall in turn. One had disappeared completely, which was all but useless to you. It didn’t mean that the calculation wasn’t steady: it could have just meant that the trajectory was way off. Either way, you could discount that as a failure.
And the next one; giving a similar waver to when you’d shown Krennic what ‘steady hands’ really meant. Although minimal, you’d already explained why you couldn’t stand for it.
That left the last two. And the results looked fairly similar even though your vectors were different for both. You had to call the result unexpected: perhaps there were two ways to do this. You looked back to your little models and then to the points, waving your hand in front of the lasers. And then you smiled, and that small smile became a grin, became a laugh of triumph. Although both were near perfect, the third one had a far stronger beam of light. There was your power. The second most important part of the project. The station had to do what it was built for when the laser reached its target, after all.
“We have a winner.” You whispered to yourself walking back to your table. Now you had to report these findings and scale them up to full size. Working in other contingency factors - after all that laser would not be travelling through clean air in a lab and hitting a solid smooth wall. That would be fun.
Still, you couldn’t wait on his report to tell him the good news.
‘Report spoilers: It works!’
There was a long pause between emails, and you could picture Krennic sitting at his desk, relief flooding him, smug little smirk on his face that this was finally going to get done - the finish line seemed in sight now. You hoped you’d made his day.
When the email came back you couldn’t help but read into it a little more than you probably should have, and yet you also thought he wanted you to:
‘This sounds like a cause for celebration... – K.’
You did not in fact bring the report to him by hand, and neither did he ask it of you, but from that day forward you were called into his office daily briefings. And suddenly you got to realise just what your research meant to the people working on this station, because the first day you walked in, expecting to see just him, the room was full of his top engineers and each and every single one of them was applauding you.
“Now the real work begins.” Krennic was leaning against his desk, arms folded, with eyes only for you. “Welcome, Y/N, to the team that will build your concept. From physical engineering to coding. I will assist in overseeing you, but the team are now at your disposal. From now, until test day.”
Your eyes couldn’t help but light up, even though you knew you should have probably been professional about this. “Thank you, Director.” You beamed, “I look forward to working with all of you. Let's make this vision a reality, for the Empire!”
Suddenly this was better than anything you’d had with Krennic before - you almost had non-stop contact with him, from walking out of your door in the morning, to retiring for the evening. And you were happy to find that he provided both the perfect intellectual and humorous stimulant. You also noted how many crew members now looked at you with nothing but jealousy. Despite the fact nothing had happened between you yet. The way he regarded you was now even more open. Every look that followed every little flirtatious comment or innuendo was extremely pointed. Sometimes his eyes would even darken. It scared you enough to have you shy away from him; but also had you scared at how much you desired him. You just wanted him to touch you, just the smallest taste. To be honest you didn’t care what he did, as long as he did something.
Krennic could bend you over his desk in front of your entire engineering team for all you cared anymore.
Speaking of your engineering team, you’d never seen a group of people work harder or more efficiently, and seeing them turn all your data and tiny models into tangible pieces for the Death Star was wonderful. You gasped to see the sheer size of the Kyber they had harvested to give your vectors pinpoint accuracy.
“I have never… seen Kyber like that!”
And the way Krennic got all smug again, “Only the best for you. Of course.”
“You flatter me, Sir.”
And that little knowing nod he gave you back.
Once everything started to go into place, and you got word that Galen was almost finished with the laser itself (you received many an email from him about how proud he was and so many others from your friends back on Eadu that you almost cried, thanking them again and again for their participation in even the smallest part of your research), that the dish was currently in the process of being assembled outside and you couldn’t believe you were doing this. You couldn’t believe you were about to be a part of history. Your name was going to be right up there. Never even in your wildest dreams...
As you could take a little more time over your reports these days, and there was far less for you to really comment on, you did start to present Krennic with physical copies. Usually just before you headed off for the evening you would drop them off on his desk with a small smile, and he would drag them towards him.
“Glad to see you are taking my advice.”
“Well, as you seemed fairly adamant I did it, I thought I had better start, Director.”
“They do make for good bedtime reading.”
“I’ll bet…”
Only for the last week you’d started spraying them with your perfume, very subtly at first, but steadily the scent became stronger, and oh, he had noticed. When the doors closed behind you this evening he held the report to his nose and inhaled, groaning as heat coursed through his body. Krennic couldn’t take it any longer, he knew exactly what you were doing. Both of you were dancing around it, and now neither of you were being very subtle, either. But this was the final straw - because he wanted this scent all over him. What it would feel like to pin you beneath him, have your body against his as you whined and called his name, what it would feel like to finally be inside you… He’d certainly thought on it in quieter moments of the evening enough…
***
Tonight your report was late. Not for no good reason; you had a lot of data to review. Galen kept sending you updated laser figures to get you as close as possible with your final vectors. Oh, you had no doubt that the Kyber could take it. You’d given a wide berth for the perimeters; but still, you wanted to check and triple check. On your head be it if you didn’t and everything went wrong.
Still you wanted to stop by Krennic’s office to let him know why it would be late, as you always seemed to bring it to him around this time these days.
Krennic looked up as you walked in, without even knocking, but he hardly cared about that. His eyes narrowed at the lack of papers in your arms.
“Where is my report?”
Your face scrunched a little, “If you’d let me get a word out Director, I would tell you. I have a lot of data back from Galen that I want to check and double check before I send it over to you. I want to give you as accurate data and results as possible. So it’ll probably be late, or later than it has been these past few weeks.”
Krennic tilted his head, eyebrow raised “Late?” He didn’t sound very appreciative.
“Only about as ‘late’ as used to be normal.”
He rose from his chair, and those blue eyes locked on yours, “Late-late bedtime reading? This from a woman who says I should be going to bed earlier.”
“This once!” You protested as he rounded his desk.
“You think that’s good enough?” You didn’t understand why he’d be mad at you, and Krennic didn’t sound mad… but the words he was using…
“Well I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“Oh, believe me, I mind.”
“I-” You were about to tell him you were sorry - although really you had nothing to be sorry for - but he didn’t stop beside you. Instead Krennic stood behind you, a little too close for your liking.
You froze immediately as his voice lowered to a whisper, reaching out to brush a lock of hair behind your ear. The scrape of leather against your skin made you shiver, and you only wished it was his fingertips. You bit back your moan.
“I am alone in my quarters after 2200 hours, it sounds like I’ll have data to review with you: that’s an order.”
You swallowed unsure of the kind of response he wanted, “Yes, Sir.” slipped out of your mouth and he seemed satisfied.
“Good girl. I want it on paper, as you’ve been doing recently.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Well then…” He stepped away from you and you realised that you’d barely breathed for the past few minutes, “You best get to it, hadn’t you?”
“Yes, Sir.” What was wrong with you!? Was that all you could say!?
When you turned around he’d already moved away, crossing the room. “Good. Now go. And don’t make me wait, Y/N.”
Krennic glanced over his shoulder at you, blue eyes burning, “As I’m sure you know by now, I am not a patient man.”
***
You had to admit the pressure was on now. Because you did really want to present him with a decent report. (Just in case he wasn’t messing with you and he would be pissed if you didn’t turn up at 2200 with the correct figures.) And you sat back in the lab speed typing your way to the end whilst also trying to be as careful about Galen’s calculations as possible.
You were right of course, his new figures still worked perfectly within your own. You looked at the clock, 2130. And the Director had told you not to be late. You printed the report and rushed back to your quarters; your heart was beating on overdrive. Was this about to be the encounter you’d always imagined? The throbbing ache between your thighs you’d also been trying (and failing) to ignore since he’d brushed his fingers to your skin earlier certainly hoped so. You barely had time for a quick shower to freshen up, but you took it anyway before changing and spraying yourself with that same perfume you’d been dousing your reports in, and hoping you wouldn’t run into anyone in the two corridors that you would have to traverse.
You checked yourself in the mirror as you gathered the hard copy of the report and your datapad for back up. You looked flushed, but still pretty at least. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself for your walk - you had a feeling you were about to end up being even more so…
You paused suddenly and turned to the window; the colour of space had suddenly caught your eye. Purples and blues fogged in front of you, instead of the usual endless rolling black flecked with stars. It shimmered every so often and you recognised it instantly.
‘An Ion storm is coming…’ you breathed. You hadn’t noticed because your lab had no windows, but you were overjoyed that you hadn’t missed it. You allowed yourself to marvel it for a few seconds more before you realised you were about to make yourself late.
Padding down the corridors you were pleased to see that there was no-one on route and you reached his room at exactly 2159. You waited for that minute to tick over, and at 2200, you knocked.
“Enter.” Krennic’s voice called you, with a sultry edge to it. And you bit your lip gently. At the sound of his voice his door slid open, and beckoned you inside.
***
If you thought your room was spacious and had a generous window, this one was something else. Krennic’s quarters had a window that swept almost the entire far end of the room, and your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to those vibrant purples and blues again.
The lighting was fairly dimmed but you recognised it as ambiance; Krennic was setting a mood here. That feeling stirred once more in the pit of your stomach and you swallowed hard, the room had all the amenities, and you wondered why the hell he even wanted an office as well as this. Probably because he didn’t want everyone in his room, you guessed, but he had a desk and everything here. You scanned across the room to the bed; at least king sized, the sheets looked comfortable and luxurious. Why didn’t that surprise you either.
Footsteps approached from your left and Krennic swept around the corner from whatever had been keeping him occupied. He halted, immediately tipping his head to survey your body - instinctively you pulled the papers up to your chest and hugged them close.
“I-I believe you asked me here to take you through a data review, Sir. And I made sure to print them all.”
He hadn’t even traced his way up to your face yet and that smile became a grin, became a smirk. Krennic stepped forward - bless you for actually printing the damn report. He held his hand out, “Indeed I did.”
You offered up the paperwork and he walked back to his desk, beckoning you to follow him. He could already smell the perfume on the documents, biting back a low moan. He had no intention of reading them tonight.
In fact you hadn’t even sprayed the documents with your perfume, but there was so much of it on you that when you’d held them close it couldn’t help but transfer across. Krennic set them, and your datapad, down on his desk and turned back to you, now a little further into the room.
Your hair was down to natural length and framed your face delicately. There were no shoes on your feet either. But your dress… oh… Ending just appropriately long enough to cover everything, the silk slip dress - in your favourite colour, Krennic remembered - plunged pretty low, thin straps looped over your shoulders and, he couldn’t see yet, but it had a low back too.
At least you were dressed appropriately for where your evening was going to go. Krennic swallowed, aware of his own arousal as he made his way slowly back over to you, again, instead of stopping in front of you he rounded your body. Where he was close the cape brushed against your bare skin and you had to bite your lip hard not to whimper. Why was just the feel of it so sexy? Was it really the thought of being covered in it and nothing else? Would he wear it if you asked him to…? No, maybe not for your first time together… you didn’t think he’d want you making too many demands of him.
“I checked the weather for today and it looks like there will be a good ion lightning storm in the area. We can’t exactly move out of its way so… I thought you might like to observe…”
“You remember a lot of things about me, Director… this one I might just have to thank you for.”
Even as he disappeared behind you again you kept your eyes front on space, although you couldn’t help but be curious if he was going to touch your hair again. It hadn’t escaped your notice that he was finally gloveless. I really AM like a repressed maiden!
He halted, and somehow it felt like he was even closer than before; was Krennic’s breath on the back of your neck just your imagination? You shivered involuntarily and even if you couldn’t see him, you could picture that smirk. His voice was at a husky whisper, already threatening to drive you wild. You didn’t dare press your thighs together, despite your desperation.
“This dress is certainly not regulation uniform, and as per the rules, that would mean it needs to be removed.”
You didn’t even get the chance to wonder if Krennic was going to do it himself as his large hands rested on your shoulders for a moment. You couldn’t help but tense; it seemed like such a foreign concept, his bare skin touching yours. You wondered if his hands would be calloused with all the work he did. He certainly didn’t mind getting dirty. But he was an architect at heart, and his hands seemed pretty smooth, assured, and warm… he was so warm… Krennic caressed his fingertips over you and you really couldn’t have helped that small whine even if you’d have tried. You were still picturing that delicious little smirk in your head, and you wanted to kiss it off.
Patience… At this rate you’ll be getting to do more than that...
His fingers slid under the straps, pulling them off your shoulders agonisingly slow, but Krennic didn’t attempt to help the fabric down your body, instead he just let it fall. It pooled around your feet and you swallowed hard again, hearing the slight chuckle in his voice before he tsked you.
“You didn’t think to wear anything underneath?”
“Well I thought about it, but-” You gasped as his hand grasped your waist, sliding down to your hip, his other brushing your hair back to expose your neck. Krennic’s first kiss wasn’t even tentative; but it was teasing and you shook under his touch. He smirked into your neck as he continued to kiss a trail. You bit back a groan, closing your eyes to the sensation of his lips on your skin, sighing for certain as his tongue ran over you. Had you told him this too? Or did he really know far too much…
Finally having him kiss you after all this time was something that you almost found indescribable, and the heat between your thighs made you press them together as discreetly as possible - he’d get there you were sure of it, but that ache demanded attention.
Krennic inhaled - and somehow that perfume smelled even better on your skin. He growled, grazing his teeth over your jugular, pulling your body back into his.
“Oh… Y/N… you smell so good.” You gasped again as this time his arms locked around your waist to hold you in place; so close that his cape once again brushed your skin, you simply lay your hands over his. His still clothed body pressed up against yours felt simply divine and you knew Krennic was about to drive you insane, on purpose. As those kisses to your neck became a little hotter - and you started to imagine all the marks about to be left on your body - you couldn’t resist tipping your head back to sigh his name.
You couldn’t be sure which he wanted to hear, but surely he would tell you if it was his first name. Maybe he didn’t want his lovers to call him that… you remembered your promise not to become just one on a list, but you didn’t want to think too hard on that right now. Much more enjoy the moment. You leant your body weight back against him, suddenly feeling tiny in his large hands. He smirked into your skin again, pulling back, one hand coming back up to turn your face to his.
“My, my… You’re already so flushed and… responsive.” That little smirk was so gorgeous you had second thoughts about kissing it off. You were already aware of how heavy you were breathing. Krennic bit his lip and somehow that made him sexier, “Have you thought about this?”
You nodded, hardly seeing the point of lying.
“A lot?”
You knew the blush on your cheeks was only getting deeper as you nodded again. Krennic chuckled, “At least I’m not the only one…” He held you in place by your chin, “Whatever your fantasies are, you can tell me. But I can promise I’ll be better.” He studied your face intently, “Would you like me to kiss you, Y/N?”
You wondered if that was a stupid question, eyes flicking to his lips and back to that intense stare he was giving you, “Y-Yes.”
Surprisingly his kiss wasn’t as rough as they had been to your neck, but he showed no mercy when deepening it, and his tongue wasn’t about to let yours assert any dominance. You could taste hints of alcohol and caffeine, and something sweet - although you could hardly remember what they were serving in the canteen now. When Krennic finally released your lips to let you breathe, you were panting even harder - how was it possible to feel that power even in his kisses; you were going to be completely at his mercy all night and right now it was a delightful prospect. The wealth of experience he had meant he could surely show you a thing or two.
The next graze of his lips to yours was fleeting, and he drew from you a whine. By his smile exactly what Krennic wanted. His hands wandered as he pressed a kiss into your shoulder, down the run of the pulse in your neck and over your clavicles to your breasts. Keeping those steely blue eyes on yours you were hardly able to look away as his fingertips brushed over your sensitive nipples. Even your attempts to stifle your groans didn’t work and you closed your eyes to his touch as he circled his fingertips around one.
“You are so fucking beautiful…” He nudged your head gently with his own to expose your neck to him once more, “And you sound fucking beautiful too…”
“K-Krennic…” You mumbled his name again, once again fixating on his fingertips as he moved them across to your other breast, repeating the same teasing circular motion before he kneaded you.
You thought you’d read somewhere that you could orgasm just from this - and right now you’d believe it; feeling that sticky sweetness on your inner thighs. At this rate you weren’t going to last until Krennic touched you there.
“Maybe we’ll have to make this your regulation uniform.” His voice was husky, “I’m sure I could have that rule changed just for you.” You shuddered again as he pinched your nipple between his fingers playfully, “Would you like that?”
“O-Only f-or you.” You might as well go for it; he might as well know exactly how you felt.
“Ahhhh!” Krennic vocalised like he’d just figured it all out, “Should I just keep you here? Or in my office? I hold a great many meetings there, though… I’m not sure I would like them all staring at you in your uniform.” He growled into the next kiss he placed to your skin, “I get jealous too, you know?” Well you did now.
Krennic straightened himself to full height, still supporting your weight his hands travelled down your body agonizingly slow; almost as if he was committing every inch of you to his memory. You already knew he liked details - and he was an architect; so it was Krennic’s business to know detail. Just how much could he remember about a lover? How much of you were you prepared for him to discover about you.
His fingertips traces over your ribs, down and across your bellybutton and just below your stomach when he paused and his eyes left you.
For a moment you’d quite forgotten that you were in the middle of an ion storm, and you wondered what exactly had dragged his attention away from you. The illumination of his face in the first strike of lightning made you gasp. And all you could think of was those eyes in the rainstorm on Eadu. The first time you’d ever seen him, an image that still haunted you. That was no doubt responsible for you now being naked in his arms like this. You turned to the window to watch the lightning for a moment too, flashing across the purples, blues and pinks of the cloud.
“Isn’t it beautiful.” You breathed gently, and you heard him chuckle,
“I don’t think you’ve looked in a mirror.” This time he pressed his kiss to your temple, and it was almost sweet. But now Krennic had you distracted by the storm - so his fingers traced lower and before you knew it he was pressing down gently on your clit. Your body gave a lurch into his and he growled again. Moving his fingers into your folds, you moaned head tipped back onto his shoulder,
“Krennic…”
“I knew you wanted me, Y/N, but like this?” His fingers moved through your wetness, teasing your entrance for a moment, and making you shudder, moaning his name again. “I can see that desire in your eyes wasn’t lying…” Krennic was smirking again as he watched you react to his fingertips, dragging them back towards your clit, “How many times have you been this wet around me, hmm? How many times have you thought of me doing this? Do you touch yourself and think about me? Is that what you do?”
“Y-Yes-” Your thoughts were hardly coherent at this point, and as soon as his fingers touched your clit again, in teasing circles, you cried out; “Oh, Krennic, please!”
“What else do you do to yourself when you think about me, hm?” He put a little more pressure on your clit as he rubbed it, “What do you think about? Me touching you like this? Or me fucking you? What set you off, hmmm? All that water-cooler chat? Believe me I know what they say... How would you like me to do it, Y/N? Do you want me to try to be gentle, or do you want it rough?”
As if you really cared; your body shuddered again and you attempted to help the friction by closing your thighs once more, ache becoming a throb.
“Uh uh.” His foot jammed between yours and forced your legs to widen for him, “I don’t like cheaters, Y/N.”
You moaned once more as those little circles got faster and rougher, “Please, please! Krennic I’m begging you…” You whined, and your voice shook as you could feel that pleasure building, he couldn’t stop now. You wouldn’t let him, “Do whatever you want to me… just fuck me.”
He nipped the top of your ear this time, “The pleasure will be all mine.”
This time as the lightning flashed it illuminated your body, and Krennic was right, your dips and curves were flawless, you looked ready for him, you felt ready for him… like you were made for this very moment.
Krennic moved his fingertips faster - and this time he pushed his body into yours. Your gasp at his grind into you was for one obvious reason; you could feel how hard he was getting.
Oh, fuck... Your body shuddered once more and you mewled, positive that you were even wetter now. He knew it too, by that chuckle.
“Oh? You want me don’t you? I know you know how wet you are… You want me so fucking bad…” That husky whisper was driving you crazy and you knew Krennic wasn’t going to let up on it, “You feel so hot, so fuckable… Oh, Y/N, I can’t wait to be inside you, but you’ll have to wait for that.” This time your groan was a little strangled, “That’s it, be a good girl… cum for me.”
If it wasn’t what he was doing to you it was his voice alone that sent that shot of pleasure right through you, burning head to toe with no mercy. You cried out again, but this time it was his first name you used - and you hoped he didn’t care. Panting as you felt the sweat begin to gather on your skin. Your legs shook a little but he held you strong.
“Good girl.” He removed his fingertips from your clit, once again pressing a kiss to your neck, “But, you know as well as I that this is hardly over…” You rested your body against his chest for a minute, and he carded his fingers through your hair; it was almost soothing as Krennic twisted it between his fingers, “How about we use the bed now, hmm?”
“…Y…Yes…” You could only hazily agree, would he actually fuck you now? You were throbbing again - sure he’d said he wanted to be inside you, but did he know how much you needed him inside you?
“Go on,” Krennic pushed you forward with his hand to the small of your back, you stumbled a little but didn’t fall and he observed your walk, the curves of your ass - the lingering of your arousal on your thighs. “Hands down.” He followed you across the floor - he was aware of how uncomfortable he felt, with heat in just the right places, and the way his pulse was running just to look at you. But he had to take this slow. The goal wasn’t just to bed you, it was to erase every other man from your memory too, so that he was your one and only waking thought.
You had to admit your confusion, but placed your hands out on the sheets in front of you to support your body, Krennic made you keep your feet on the floor and for a second you wondered if this was how he was going to do it.
It seemed like a waste of a good bed, but your brain was hardly running your feelings here and that throb between your legs was so desperate for something that you didn’t care how you got it.
Instead of hearing him shed clothing, or even just undo his zipper, Krennic’s fingers ran your spine. He really was about to commit every inch of you to memory, you weren’t kidding, before he traced them over your ass. You were half expecting him to slap you, but that didn’t happen either. In fact his fingers went right back to your wetness, and you shivered again; Krennic’s movements this time were less teasing as he pushed his fingers into you; you cried out - he didn’t even bother with one at a time. But at least there was something dulling that ache for a second; although you knew what your body really craved.
The storm illuminated everything in the room, and far more regularly than before, as his fingers pumped in and out of you. The hums he was making were satisfied, and part of you wished you could see what they looked like crossing his face. In fact the thought that you might not get to see his face almost disappointed you.
But you realised something else, the colours the storm were throwing everywhere, the very sound of it - with how much you enjoyed them anyway - and Krennic here with you, was only serving to turn you on even more. And he noticed.
“Oh?” This sounded almost curious, “So lightning makes you even more wet, or is that just me?”
You swallowed hard, against the feeling of his fingers stretching you, you were desperate for him to get naked now. “To… be honest, no-one has ever fucked me in a lightning storm.”
“Huh. Maybe they should have tried, I figure they’re missing out.”
You whined again, “Krennic please… please… I can’t take much more of this… fuck, I… I need you.”
You weren’t sure if Krennic did it because he was listening to your plea, or if he was simply just ready to do it himself, but the next thing you knew he’d removed his fingers from you and flipped your body so you were now on your back, on the bed. And as your eyes locked with his you realised exactly what you would have been missing out on. Although serious, those eyes were so incredibly dark and lust rimmed, and hungry for your body, that you thought you might come undone again right then and there.
He placed his thumb delicately against your lips for a second, tracing them, before smirking again, “Open your mouth.” You blinked, but finding no reason not to do what he asked, your lips parted, tongue grazing his fingertip. Krennic immediately smirked, “That’s a good girl.” Before he slid the two fingers that had just been inside you, into your mouth. You moaned gently at the sensation. “I bet you taste so good, don’t you?”
You could feel yourself blushing again, unsure exactly how to respond to that besides another muffled moan. He withdrew them, eyes narrowed even though he was smiling.
“And you do exactly what I say…” Krennic drew himself back to height, dragging his eyes down your body and as he did so he reached up to his shoulders, undoing the fastenings for his cape. Oh, you were going to get to watch Krennic undress? You moved to help him, but his eyes raised back to your face - and this time the bright white flash made those eyes of crystal blue let you know that he wanted you to stay absolutely still.
“You look ready for me darling. Are you?”
You nodded, hoping that the look on your face was as pleading as you thought it was.
“Born ready for me…” Krennic’s voice this time sent chills through you with how commanding it was, “Mine.”
You watched the cape fall to the floor and wished again for that silky texture to brush against your skin, perhaps you would ask him again later. He undid his tunic and shrugged himself out of it; Krennic wasn’t exactly bothering to put on a show for you - but it still felt like one, running his hands through his hair with a breath out before he undid his shirt. Slower now, button by button as he looked into your eyes, that little teasing smile on his face only made your lips part. This man was so gorgeous. And you were here, in his quarters, in his bed. You out of the many hundreds of women on this Battle Station - and all of them beautiful - Director Orson Krennic wanted you.
He threw his shirt behind him too, before settling his hands on his waistband. You studied him for just long enough, he was built more toned than chiselled, and his arms and chest were particularly defined; there was a scar on his left-hand side, just above his heart, and you wondered what the story was with that. Maybe in a quieter moment you would ask, but that was not a story for right now. You traced back to where his fingers were waiting for you to take him all in and this time you bit your lip, you’d already felt him against you but you still weren’t sure you were adequately prepared… Undoing his zip with as much tease as his buttons Krennic let his pants and boxers fall at the same time.
Your eyes widened, and you swallowed hard ‘Oh, holy shit...’ Your heartbeat picked up pace and you felt yourself clench greedily just at the sight of him. You bit your lip a little harder and raised your eyes back up Krennic’s body to his face, “I want to let you know - although it sounds like you do know - that every single one of those rumours is SO fucking true.”
He smirked, “I might have started one or two of them myself.”
You almost laughed, “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
He gave a shrug, “Well darling, don’t we all want to project the best version of ourselves?” Krennic joined you on the bed, settling himself between your thighs again, pulling your legs around him, “Now I’m going to prove the rest of them true, whilst also letting you in on some things you don’t know.”
You had every right to moan as loud as you did as he pushed into you, feeling completely filled right away. Definitely true - part of you felt you might be smirking very broadly into your coffee in the mornings from now on. Instead of covering your body Krennic stayed in that kneeling position with your legs crossed behind him, hands gripping your thighs and nails digging into your skin. You almost wanted his nails to leave marks, for there to be bruises that lingered for more than just a few days where he gripped you - just to prove it had really happened. If this is a dream please don’t ever let me wake up.
He growled as you adjusted to each other, voice husky once more, “You’re so tight.”
Your sigh came out a little choked with your breathing as - at first - he moved slow, hands gilding softly over your skin as he lay his palms flat. But he still had enough pressure on you; Krennic was still in control. Right now, being in control was the last thing you were thinking of.
Those slow movements of his were a facade, but they had you already moaning - body tingling as you got used to the feelings of Krennic being inside you. You wondered if you should be trying to be quiet? How many other senior officers had rooms around Krennic’s that could potentially hear this - did Krennic even care?
What if they knew it was you though? You weren’t necessarily sure you wanted the reputation that might come with being Krennic’s bed mate, even if it really was only going to be tonight. As if he knew what you were thinking Krennic pushed into you a little harder, causing you to cry out a little louder than before - no point in holding back.
“Let me hear you, Y/N. Let me hear those delicious little moans of yours. You can be as loud as you want here, I won’t tell anyone…” He smirked, “You might as well let yourself - because this is going to be the best orgasm of your life, or it’s going to be nothing. I don’t do half measures.” That seemed like an odd form of encouragement, but hot enough to get you mewling again. And he didn’t slow his pace.
Instead Krennic dug his nails back into your skin, thrusting into you harder and rougher. You arched your back up, pushing your hips into his to take him deeper and deeper. Usually you weren’t so loud during sex, but with your eyes closed to the ecstasy of it all, each thrust received a moan that steadily grew louder and louder until you were pleading him:
“Oh, Krennic… Oh please, more… Harder, Sir, please… please don’t stop…”
This was clearly only urging him on as he found another notch in his pace. You might be one for thinking this was the best sex you’d ever had as you opened your eyes to focus on him once more; Krennic’s skin was starting to get that dewy look as sweat started to build, leaving his hair to look a darker shade of grey. And that lightning… oh, that lightning. Watching that storm behind him made the pleasure even more intense. The backdrop was stunning to an already flawless view - what more could you possibly ask for?
His sex was deliciously rough, and it was all you could do to watch his body, the way his muscles moved with each thrust, the tension running from his shoulders, down his arms, through his fingers and the little indents from his nails you could see in your skin. You almost wanted those fingers back inside you again too.
Krennic growled as that thought led to you clenching around him: “What are you thinking about?”
You looked to his face, obviously you were already flushed, but if it were possible to turn a deeper shade of red you were now. “...Please…” You voice wavered and you realised where this was all heading, “Please Krennic harder… Please I want to- I want to- let me cum for you.”
That smirk was just plain dirty, and as he placed one hand under you to raise your hips a little more his next thrust found your sweet spot. You cried out even louder - hit with a shot of pleasure more intense than any you thought you’d ever felt.
“Fuck-! Director-! Please!”
He chuckled, “I have a first name, Y/N, you can use it.”
Did he want you to use it? Did he ask everyone he took to bed to use it? You gasped again as white-hot heat shot through you head to toe and your legs locked around him, pulling him even deeper as you tipped your head back.
And he knew as well as you did: “That’s a good girl, that’s my good girl.” Krennic continued to thrust into you until you had to squeeze your eyes shut, head tipped back you very nearly screamed his first name as your body shook and you came undone.
Your short, sharp pants didn’t really have any time to become afterglow, or some slow paced ‘love making’ for him to ride into his own high. Oh no, Krennic wasn’t finished with you yet - and although he lingered at a slower pace for a little - you could feel yourself building up again, heightened by the climax you had just felt. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes and you got the feeling that Krennic was not about to be termed a selfish lover. But a possessive one; your body was his, and he wasn’t finished with you yet.
You cried out as he took that pace up again, you could feel him getting harder inside you, every little twitch as he continued those rough thrusts.
“You ready for more?”
You nodded weakly, moaning again, this would be the third time in one evening. Even if these two were in quick succession.
“Yes what?” The commanding tone in his voice and the way he squeezed your thighs a little harder made you shake again,
“Yes, Orson. Please… please, baby… I- I’m ready.”
As you said his name this time Krennic pushed his body forward so that his hands rested above your shoulders, catching your lips in a harsh kiss. Your hands immediately shot to his arms, over those toned shoulders, and your fingers tangled in his hair. This time his kisses swallowed your moans, and the higher in pitch they got the more he knew you were ready to let go again. With him all over you like this, the scent of that cologne filled your senses.
Krennic thrusted into you one last time and let you cry out into his shoulder. He could probably go a little longer - but he’d build you up to that in due time, he couldn’t ruin you on your first time with him. As you clenched around him, just as greedily as before, Krennic growled - hot breath in your ear as your own ecstasy became his. And now you were his too.
He let you continue to embrace him as you both panted, moving his own hands to gently caress your sides, your stomach and your thighs. Although the only sound was your breathing, and you could barely think of anything else, hands carding through his hair and watching those beautiful blue eyes focus on nothing in particular. Until the lighting strike flashed closer to you than before, causing him to look out the window. You followed his line of sight.
“It really is gorgeous…” You weren’t sure if that muse was supposed to come out of Krennic’s mouth, but it made you smile.
“Mhm… And I need to have sex in storms more often.”
He chuckled, turning back to you and kissing your neck, softly, “Well, you know who to call.”
Krennic pulled out of you gently, smirking again to see yours and his arousal lingering on your inner thighs. His. Before he lay next to you, eyes still on the storm.
You wondered what the best thing to do now was, as your high unwound. Ironically you didn’t think your body had been this relaxed in a while either. Should you leave? Should you make the decision to leave him before he kicked you out himself? You wondered if that was the polite thing to do. You didn’t know if Krennic was the type to really sleep with someone. When he would be at his most vulnerable. You weren’t sure he would want to show that side of himself to anyone. You decided you would show willing, and would let him know that you would leave if that’s what Krennic wanted - you weren’t about to outstay your welcome.
Instead, Krennic did the unexpected and, finally settling down in the sheets, he pulled you into his arms, showering you with delicate kisses and touches. Aftercare...
You snuggled into his body, sighing in sleepy content and closed your eyes as he pulled the sheets further around you. Did you dare believe this was happening - No, and yet it was. You were really here, in the Director’s arms. And he wanted you to stay.
Krennic pressed a kiss to your forehead, and you could already feel yourself drifting off in his arms: “We’ll review your report in the morning.”
***
When you awoke, the lights in his room were up to their brightest day setting. Krennic’s free hand was wandering over your thighs absentmindedly as he lay on his back, your datapad in his other. You tried to concentrate on that small smile on his face, those blue eyes of his, just how good he looked comfortable and relaxed, and out of uniform. You hadn’t noticed the collection of freckles across his chest in the dark of the storm last night either. Suddenly you wanted this moment to last forever, no matter now impossible. This coupled with the travel of his hands, even at this time in the morning, was making you sigh blissfully.
Krennic’s eyes flicked from what he was reviewing to your face as he turned his head slowly.
“This report is good. Perfect, even. The ion storm messed with some systems last night, that can’t be helped. But we should all be back online to work later. I agree with your data, consider it reviewed.”
Your head tipped curiously. “Systems are down? So…” You bit your lip wickedly, “We don’t have to leave?”
Krennic placed your datapad on his bedside table and rolled over, hand moving to between your thighs, he could read that mischievous little smirk of yours perfectly.
“Not until much later if I have anything to say about it.”
You blinked once slowly, opting to voice your single concern now, before anything got out of hand, it was a whisper that seemed so out of place. But maybe that made it the perfect time. “I don’t want to be just a one-time thing.”
Krennic’s eyebrows knitted for a second, before he smiled gently, other hand moving to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb before he tangled his fingers in your hair, bringing you back to his lips.
“Trust me, that was never a consideration.”
---
Thank you SO much for reading, oh my gosh I’m slightly emotional over this one. I NEVER thought it’d be this long. And it’s 200. Like... there’s 200 of these things!?
I didn’t think I would get past one. And it’s ALL because of you guys!
Thank you for all your love and support - I know I keep saying it but I truly mean it. It means the world to me. 💙💜
#200!#Orson Krennic#Ben Mendelsohn#Orson Krennic x Reader#So. FYI for everyone the original request notes end at his 'come to my quarters we have data to review' and I just... didn't stop!#Sorry I was unable to resist this and I REALLY wanted it.#For any questions on the GIF just look at his face and tell me that /isn't/ how he's looking at reader throughout this fic#That's why I picked it.#Krennic x Reader#Director Krennic x Reader#Officer Benja Vy#I had to do waaaay too much scrolling to find that-! Hahah - our conversations!#Okay so in all the fics I've written for him Lorena is the only one(s) that get smutty. So this is ALSO your first Krennic/Reader smut!!#Linzi Writes#Linzi Writes Requests#Rogue One#Rogue One A Star Wars Story#That... /and he had Grace Too/ line#You either cackled like I did or you groaned#it was a final edit addition at like 10pm on the night of posting#Don't hate me I thought it was clever-!
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Peas in a Pod
Day 20 Alt Prompt: De-Aged
(posted it on AO3 yesterday, forgot to post it here oops)
AO3
----------------------
“So let me get this straight,” - Tony massages his temple in effort to soothe his growing headache - “There was a wizard.”
“Yeah,” Ned nods. “And he was shooting off fireballs, like real fireballs, and it was awesome and kinda scary and-”
“Ned. Ned. Find the shortcut to the point. Because nothing explains” - Tony gestures towards the couch - “that.”
Ned blushes with embarrassment and nods . “Right! Sorry, sir. So, uhm, Pete was fighting the wizard guy and he was doing really good! Was totally kicking his ass! And then the wizard like, shot him with some kind of purplish black energy ray stuff? Like it shot right out of his hands. Then the wizard was gone and Pete was… like this.”
Tony eyes the kid on the couch. Same curly brown hair. Same doe brown eyes. It’s everything else that’s wrong. Peter is sixteen, a teenager, and this kid looks like he’s no more than five years old.
As for Peter, well, he looks content watching videos on Ned’s phone. Some children’s cartoon about dogs or something, Tony didn’t quite catch it. But the kid likes it and he isn’t crying anymore so Tony counts that as a win. Judging from the confused state the kid was in upon arrival, it’s safe to assume Peter’s memories are wiped. Or, rather, memories of his life in the present day which is a problem in and of itself.
“So,” Ned’s drawl catches his attention. “What are we going to do?”
Tony raises an eyebrow. “We?” he shakes his head. “No, no, you are going home.”
“What about Peter?”
Yeah Stark, what about Peter?
“He’ll go with his aunt.” Tony says simply. Easy enough solution.
“You mean you can’t like, fix him?” Ned asks. “What if he ends up staying like this forever?”
Tony waves off the teen’s concerns. “He won’t.” he assures. “Whatever the wizard guy hit him with will probably wear off in a couple hours. Easy peasy.” After all, the kid couldn’t stay like this forever, could he? That is just absurd.
----------
The effects don’t wear off.
Two hours later and Peter is still a child. Ned is gone, reluctantly dragged out by Happy who also delivered clothes that fit the kid better so he’s no longer swimming in the Doctor Who shirt Tony assumed belonged to one of the boys. During that time, Tony contacts May to fill her in on what’s going on. The woman is stuck at work (“We’re incredibly short staffed today, it’s ridiculous.”) and unable to leave before her shift is over.
It leaves Tony in charge of the kid which, while normally wouldn’t be an issue, he suddenly finds himself out of his depth. Teenagers, he can handle. No problem. They could be reasoned with. But small children?
“Mr. Tony?”
Tony jumps, spinning on hell with his hand pressed firmly against his heart. “Holy shit!” he gasps.
Peter flinches back, eyes wide and looking as startled as Tony feels. Then his bottom lip begins to quiver.
“No no, don’t cry.” Tony says in a rush. “I didn’t mean to scare you, kid. You snuck up on me. Ought to put a bell on you someday.”
That earns him a giggle which washes away the rising guilt. “Uncle Ben says that too.” Peter says. “Says I’m really good at sneaking.”
“You are good at sneaking.” Tony affirms. “What are you doing down here anyway? Thought you were watching TV?” Least that’s where Tony left him. Kid was content with watching the cartoon with the dogs and he figured he could get some work done tracking down the wizard guy.
“I was, but it’s over now.” Peter says dismissively, his eyes already wandering the workshop. Then he actually begins to wander. Tony watches him, contemplating on whether it’s a good idea to let a four year old wander his workshop. It isn’t exactly kid proof and if he knows anything about kids (which is very limited) it’s they like to touch everything. And put things in their mouths.
“What’s that?” Peter asks and Tony leans to the side to look past the monitors and equipment to see what the boy is pointing at.
“Oh that’s DUM-E.”
The robot chirps in response, clicking it’s claw as it peers curiously at the boy. Tony takes a couple steps towards them, immediately thinking Peter might fear the robot. Much to his relief, the boy’s mouth is agape with wonder and eyes equally wide.
“Wow!” he gasps. “Hi DUM-E. I’m Peter.” Peter reaches up to pet DUM-E’s extended arm, giggling as the robot chirps at him. “So is he a robot?”
“Yep. I made him.”
“You made him?” Peter gives him the same look of wonder and amazement. “Wow. Are there other stuff you’ve made?”
“I’ve made a lot of stuff.”
And so Tony gives the kid a proper tour of the workshop. Like his older self, Peter is sharp minded and incredibly smart. He asks questions Tony doesn’t think a four year old would know to ask and hangs onto every word Tony says. When he introduces Peter to FRIDAY, the kid is so ecstatic he can’t sit still. It warms his heart to know Peter keeps that same excitement as he aged.
After the tour, Tony brings him into the kitchen to feed him a late lunch. The kid sits on the kitchen counter next to him, watching Tony’s every move. PB&J sandwiches are the easiest thing he can fix and turns out to be the kid’s favorite.
“So you’re a superhero?” Peter asks curiously.
“Sometimes.” Tony replies as he spreads the peanut butter onto the bread.
“Like Batman?”
“Kiddo, I am way cooler and richer than Batman.”
Peter giggles and Tony thinks it might be the cutest goddamn thing he’s heard all day.
“My daddy is like you.” the kid says suddenly.
“Oh yeah? How so?” Tony asks, finding himself equally curious. He knows through his early research into Peter Parker that the boy’s parents are deceased. Father worked for OsCorp, mother worked for some type of law firm. Aside from the atrocious choice of working at OsCorp, both of them seemed relatively normal.
“Because he makes stuff. B-But not robots like you do. He makes other stuff and-and he white wears a coat and he helps people.” Peter gives a long, wistful sigh then and adds, “I want my daddy and mommy.”
Tony freezes, butter knife stuck in the jar of jelly. Quite suddenly he remembers something else about Peter’s parents.
They both died in a plane crash.
When Peter was four years old.
The man internally panics, mind going blank on what to do, what to say because what can you say?
“Mr. Tony?” Peter’s little voice draws him from his internal crisis. He tilts his head, looking at him curiously and, dare Tony say it, concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Tony sniffs and finishes up the kid’s sandwich. “Yeah, totally fine kiddo. A-OK. So you want this cut up?”
“Yes.” Peter replies, apparently moved on from the incident. Yet, as Tony puts the knife to bread in order to cut, the kid shouts, “No! No no, not like that! You have’ta make the X.”
“Huh?” Tony looks a little helplessly from the kid to the bread.
“The X!” Peter leans over and traces an X on the sandwich. “Like that!”
Tony cuts it up according to the kid’s desire and it’s only then that he sees what the kid means. “Yeah, guess it does look like an X when you cut it, huh? Well, here you go kiddo. Eat up.” He slides the plate to the boy’s side.
Peter takes a large bite and hums with approval as he chews. “‘Ood yob!” he says around his mouthful. It’s the additional thumbs up that makes Tony chuckle. He grabs a juice box from the fridge for the kid, something teenage Peter would have rolled his eyes and grumbled about. Toddler Peter says a polite ‘thank you’ and picks it up with fingers covered in grape jelly.
He decides to capture the moment for May and pulls out his phone. “Heads up, kiddo.” he says and takes a picture. Peter is caught in a half smile, peanut butter smeared on the corner of his mouth. There’s a glob of jelly on his shirt that’s run down the image of Thor’s hammer.
“I wanna see! I wanna see!” Peter instantly demands.
Tony moves to stand next to him and flips the phone for the kid to see the picture. Peter grins and immediately reaches for the phone. “Uh uh, sticky fingers.” Tony says, which gets the kid giggling about being called ‘sticky fingers’. He moves the phone out of reach and sends the image off to May.
“So,” Tony says. “What do you want to do after lunch? TV? Go play with DUM-E? Whatever that wannabe Merlin did to you took away your powers, or maybe just suppressed them. Maybe we ought to run some tests to figure that out.”
On second thought, maybe not. Teenager Peter detests needles; he imagines little Peter hates them just as much.
“DUM-E!” Peter says excitedly.
“You’re going to spoil that bot, kid.”
---
“Thank you so much, Happy.” May says as she steps into the Tower’s elevator. “You really didn’t have to pick me up. I could have drove.”
Happy directs FRIDAY to take them to the penthouse then shakes his head. “It’s no problem.” he says. “Boss wanted to make sure you got here quickly and with that guy who attacked Peter still running around-”
“Right.” May sighs. “Well, guess he could have done worse things than turn Peter younger. At least him and Tony seem to be hitting it off.” She smiles fondly as she recalls the image Tony sent her. She only hopes Peter has been good while they wait for her.
“Yeah, well, the kid’s grown on him.”
“I feel a little jealous, honestly.” May admits. “Peter was so cute when he was little.”
The elevator comes to a stop, the doors slide open to the entrance of the penthouse. It’s oddly quiet inside and the lights are dimmed. “Tony?” Happy calls out as he and May walk through the foyer into the living room.
It looks like a tornado hit it. There are papers thrown about with childish drawings covering them. A sheet covers the kitchen table which has been pulled away from the dining area and there are mini marshmallows covering the floor with some sticking to the large windows that overlook the city. A device that looks like a mini catapult sits on top of the table next to a pile of marshmallows and markers.
May follows the chaos, finding the TV on with the Incredibles playing on a low volume and both Tony and Peter fast asleep on the couch. Peter is still a toddler in every way May remembers, sleeping with his head on Tony’s chest. There are stickers on their faces and she spots marker smears not only on Peter’s arm but also on the hand that’s resting on Peter’s back.
“Did you find-” Happy starts, quietened as May shushes him. He comes to her side, expression softening at the sight. “Least they kept each other busy.” he remarks.
May nods in agreement as she pulls out her phone to take a quick picture of the two. “Like two peas in a pod.”
#webpril 2021 day 20#webpril 2021#peter parker#tony stark#irondad#ned leeds#may parker#happy hogan#spiderman#spider-man#iron man#marvel#mcu#duckie's writing
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Ok what would happen if andrew had a panic attack or something and nicky was the only one there to talk him down
oh wow, this is a good one, thanks!
I think it's hard for me to answer because I've always had trouble imagining what a panic attack would look like for Andrew, and also what would trigger him into having one. Andrew is extremely emotionally overcontrolled and has very high distress tolerance. I think it would take a lot to get Andrew to the point where he could be triggered into having a panic attack, and when he does get to that point I think its far more likely for him to shut down and dissociate than for him to have a classic, heart-racing-hyperventiliating-impending-doom type panic attack.
(Similar but different - I wrote a fic where Andrew has intense sensory overload, and I think that would be more common for him than panic attacks. When that happens the best thing for Andrew is to be left alone in peace and quiet. He wouldn't hesitate to tell Nicky to fuck off, and Nicky would probably run away as fast as he could. In the fic Neil is there while Andrew calms down but he is one of the very few people Andrew would let or want to be around him when he is like that.)
When Andrew's distress tolerance falters in a situation where there isn't any immediate physical threats to himself or others and his primary emotion is not anger/rage, rather than breaking down in a way that is obvious to people around him, he detaches from reality and feels as if he is observing himself from a distance. There are degrees of intensity; when it’s really bad he gets very still, stares off into space, and is very limited in his responses to others if he responds at all, but when it’s more mild he might still go about his business, smoking cigarettes or even going to class. He probably appears somewhat normal to others, especially people who don't know him well.
Nicky does know Andrew well, but he's not the most observant or socially aware person. Whether or not he realizes something is wrong with Andrew while he is in that kind of state would depend on what was going on for Nicky at the time. Like, if he was distracted and preoccupied with other things he might not notice, but if he took a minute to actually look at Andrew during a more intense episode he would be able to tell that something is off.
I think Nicky's first instinct would be to call Neil, and if he couldn't reach Neil and depending on the severity of the episode, call Bee or Renee, and even possibly Aaron. One major difference between a dissociative episode and a panic attack is that it likely wouldn't feel as urgent or dire to either Nicky or Andrew to end it/get help asap. Panic attacks often feel like you are dying, and while dissociative states can be very disturbing and scary, the person's distress is less obvious. It’s also likely that while Andrew might know he’s in distress, he doesn’t actually feel it.
If it was a particularly bad episode and Nicky couldn’t reach anyone else, I think Nicky’s reaction would depend on how he himself is feeling. Nicky is on the other end of the spectrum from Andrew and is pretty emotionally undercontroled. He easily gets caught up in his emotions and often acts without thinking. His actions would depend more on how worried or scared Andrew’s behavior is making him, rather than on what Andrew is actually doing or saying. If Andrew just seems weird and kinda off, then Nicky may just sit with him quietly and do his own thing or even write it off as not a big deal and do nothing. If Andrew’s acting strangely enough that it’s freaking Nicky out, I could see Nicky attempting to physically shake him to snap him out of it, and if that didn’t work starting to break down a bit himself and possibly crying out of feeling helpless and worried. Nicky trying to deal with a near catatonic Andrew with no one around for backup would probably be harder on Nicky than Andrew.
What usually helps people in dissociative depersonalization/derealization states is grounding techniques and gentle questioning and engagement with their surroundings, which I don't think Nicky would know to do. But his presence could help Andrew become more aware, and I think Andrew is very motivated by protecting his people, so seeing Nicky's distress could also encourage Andrew to come back to himself sooner, if only to help Nicky even at the risk of exposing himself to unwanted emotion. But that would in no way be a definite response, just a possible one!
Sorry it took me so long to answer, but this ask did get me reading things and having complex thoughts again which is what I hoped, so thanks very much for asking!
#Anon#asks#unfortunately I restarted my problematic habit of reading psychological research which is not great#but its better than nothing probably?#aftg#andrew minyard#nicky hemmick#jes.post
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Fright Night But Make It Gay
Chapter 3 : How to Flirt With A Vampire
First | Last | Next | More
Pairings: Prinxeity, Intrological, Mociet
Warnings: Panic Attack, please let me know if I missed any
🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻
As Virgil drove to rescue his boyfriend, he thought back on how he had gotten together with the Hot Prince.
----------
Virgil really wasn't used to this anymore. It had been a while since he had interacted with another person this often. He was an introvert and he has been one for a very, very long time. Then Roman came crashing into his world asking for a date. And he was fucking hot as hell. Extremely attractive and maybe a little charming (not that he would ever admit that out loud). Virgil could not let the years spent around gentlemen go to waste by immediately turning into a puddle the moment Roman opened his mouth. So, he flirted back. And it somehow worked.
Somehow, that led him to the moment he was at now. Unpacking boxes with his attractive neighbor while praying to Selene that there was nothing embarrassing in the boxes they were unpacking together. They had been going at it for about an hour or so now. In the beginning, Virgil and Roman had flirted back and forth with each other, like a flirting contest, whoever became flustered first, lost. But eventually, the two worked in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's presence. But of course that had to be shattered by Roman's next words.
"Are you a vampire?"
Virgil froze. "I-what?"
Roman stopped unpacking and looked at Virgil. "Are you a vampire?" Virgil blinked in response. Roman sighed and shifted back to the boxes. "I'm sorry, I-that was a bit blunt." He ran a hand through his hair. "I just-" he flushed, embarrassed. Virgil slowly unfroze and became a little less nervous. "For a while, like a long time, uhhh-" Roman's flush deepened and Virgil heard Roman's heart rate pick up. "Uhh, it's kinda embarrassing."
"Oh," Virgil replied. I think I might know what this is about. He bit his lip.
"I've kind of have this weird fantasy of a hot vampire biting me and marrying me and I noticed you entering your house with a box of what looked like blood bags a while ago and I got my hopes up and told my roommates but they all laughed at me and I told them I'd get proof but…" Roman sighed as Virgil blinked at him. "But then I actually met you and got to know you. And now, I kinda want to get that out of the way. I mean, I felt guilty for keeping it from you? Like, I really like you. You're a nice person and I want to go on a date with you but I don't know, I'm weird an-"
"Roman," Virgil cut in. The others rambling was cute and all but it was going to lead into a spiral eventually and Virgil didn't know Roman's mental health history and what could happen if he let the other to continue his rambling. "I am a vampire." Then Virgil froze. Did I actually just fucking say that?!?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!?! Virgil blanched.
Then Roman's eyes lit up. "Wait, what? Really?!?!" He instantly threw himself closer to Virgil. "Oh tell me it's true!" He draped himself across the emos' lap. "Take me! Bite me! I'm yours!"
Virgil sat frozen, hardly noticing that Roman was now in his lap. Kill. Kill. Kill. KILL. "Please don't kill me!" Virgil shouted as he launched himself back and shrunk against the wall, shielding himself from Roman.
Roman blinked. "Kill you? Why would I do that?"
Tears spilled from Virgil's eyes. "Because I'm a monster!"
Roman frowned. "No! You're not! You are not a monster, Virgil. You're a good person. And I like you, I'm not going to hurt you if I like you." He bit his lip. "Knowing that you're a vampire just kind of makes you more attractive." Roman carefully placed a gentle hand on Virgil's knee. "Come on, breathe."
"I don't need to breathe," Virgil replied breathlessly, his chest tight.
"Please, it might help you calm down."
Virgil stared at Roman for a few moments before reluctantly fighting to take slow breaths in and out.
Roman smiled. "Good, that's good." He rubbed his thumb over Virgil's skin gently. "How are you feeling now?"
Virgil ran a hand down his face. "I-honestly I'm confused. I think you're the first person who hasn't tried to kill me after they found out what I was. I don't understand. Why?"
Roman frowned. "Really? That's horrible." He shook his head. "Honestly, even if I didn't have a vampire 'fetish' I probably wouldn't be scared of you after you did tell me." Roman took Virgil's hands and held them as he stared at the vampire seriously. "You have had plenty of opportunities to kill me and you haven't. I think that's as solid proof as any that you're not a monster."
Virgil shook his head. "What if I was just waiting until I gained your trust or something?"
Roman raised an eyebrow. "I think the amount of guilt you are most certainly feeling right now at the thought that you might have tricked me or whatever speaks in itself."
Virgil took a deep breath. "Okay, okay. Maybe I'm not a monster." Virgil stretched his arms and clenched his fist as he tried to ground himself. It was silent for a little while aside from their breathing. It was one of those weird days where the people around were strangely quiet. (Most likely due to it being Sunday and people were trying to prepare themselves for Monday.)
"Would it be too soon to ask you to bite me?" Roman asked shyly.
Virgil froze and slowly turned to face Roman. He stared at the human wide eyed for so long it began to make Roman slightly uncomfortable. "You are a gay fucking disaster," Virgil said.
Roman smiled mischievously. "Why, thank you. So nice of you to notice." He scooted closer to Virgil. "So, about that bite?"
"No! We're not even dating."
"So you only date people you're dating?"
Virgil groaned. "No, I just- I'd feel much better if we got closer before that topic was brought up again. I absolutely hated feeding on strangers before blood bags were invented. I was so fucking awkward."
Roman laughed. "I mean, if we need to get closer for you to bite me, all you have to do is go out on a date with me and be my boyfriend."
Virgil snorted. "Oh my Selene. You are crazy."
Roman smiled. "Aw come on, you have to admit that I look absolutely delicious."
Virgil's face flushed violently. "Do you realize just how that sounds?"
Roman stared at Virgil, confused. "What?" Virgil stared at Roman wide eyed. Roman thought for a few minutes before it suddenly, it hit him. His face turned as red as a fire truck. "I-tha-that's not what I meant!" He sputtered as he tried to correct his mistake.
Virgil stared, frozen, at Roman for ten seconds before bursting out into laughter. "Oh wow!" He clutched his stomach as he continued to laugh.
"Stop teasing me!" Roman whined, the blush on his face as vibrant as ever.
Eventually Virgil's laughter petered out as he let out a breath. "Wait, I'm still confused. So, the only reason you want me to bite you is because you think it's hot?"
Roman crossed his arms as his blush began to flare up again. "No."
Virgil smirked. "Oh, really?"
"It can prove that I trust you too."
Virgil blinked. "I-"
"I assumed you would be a little insecure about something like that so I figured it could be something like a trust fall."
"A trust bite, really?" Virgil asked with a raised eyebrow.
Roman grinned. "Sure! If you would prefer calling it that!"
Virgil frowned. "No, not really."
The two were silent for a few moments. "Hey, is uh.." Virgil rubbed the back of his neck. "Is that date invite still good?"
Roman froze. "Are you, are you agreeing to go out with me?" "Uhh, yeah," Virgil replied somewhat anxiously. Did he not want to now? Was he taking it back?
"Of course the invite is still good!" Roman was ecstatic.
Virgil blushed lightly at Roman's enthusiasm. "Huh, well, when then?"
Roman blinked. "Oh. I didn't expect to get this far."
Virgil bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Do you want to give you some time to plan?"
Roman rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah." He laughed awkwardly. "Maybe I should have been more prepared. I guess I let my brain tell my heart not to get my hopes up."
Virgil frowned. "You should give yourself more credit. 1. You're handsome. 2. You're hilarious. 3. You're a nice guy. And 4. You can flirt."
Roman snorted. "Well, I guess I'll try. But only because you asked." Virgil laughed. Roman pulled his phone out and checked the time. "I better get going, I have a class in the morning."
"Okay, see you later, Romeo!"
Roman smirked. "Until tomorrow, Juliet."
Virgil suppressed the lovesick smile that was forming until after he heard Roman enter his house. Then he let out a shrill squeal and fell back into the empty boxes behind him and kicked his feet with glee.
---------------------
Of course Roman chose the most cliche kind of date. A Movie and pizza. They watched a scary movie to which Roman told Virgil that if he got scared he would hold his hand. (This ended with Roman getting so scared that he jumped into Virgils' lap and kept his face buried in the vampire's chest for the rest of the movie. (Virgil found it absolutely adorable.)
Then the two headed to a pizza shop where they shared a cheese pizza. It was also where Roman told Virgil a bunch of cheesy one-liners and then blamed it on the pizza for their cheesiness. Now Virgil wouldn't say that he was smitten. But really, he was smitten. And when Roman politely asked to walk him home, Virgil heard wedding bells. (Of course, Virgil knew it only made sense for Roman to walk him home considering they were neighbors, and he said as such, but it still made Virgil's heart so cartwheel in his chest.
"So, what made you move here?" Roman asked as they walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand.
"I was ready to be a part of society again." Virgil said sagely. Then he snorted. "Just kidding. I was tired of the long trips for the essentials. And it was hard to get things delivered."
Roman snorted. "Of course. It's not a place worth living in if you can't get pizza delivered."
"You are exactly right." Virgil began to lightly swing their enclosed hands. "What about you, what made you choose here?"
Roman shrugged. "There's not really any specific reason other than this is the college I got accepted into."
"There weren't any other colleges you wanted to go to?"
"I mean, yeah. But I'm going to be working off the student loans for this for years already. I can't imagine how long I'll have to work to pay for any or the other colleges I wanted to apply to."
Virgil bit his lip. "What if…" he paused. "Nevermind."
Roman glanced at Roman. "You can share your thoughts if you want, I'm not against it. But I understand if you don't want to."
Virgil nodded. "Yeah, perhaps another time."
Roman nodded and the two continued their journey home. Occasionally, they commented on different things but for the most part, they walked in a blissful silence. Virgil usually felt cold, seeing as his body didn't make its own blood anymore and all. But he supposed a side effect of standing next to someone who he was very attracted to was a consistently warm body from a consistent blush that made his skin turn a healthy tone of pink instead of his usual pale white. It was a pleasant experience.
Soon, they came upon a Virgil's home. As cliche as it sounds, Virgil didn't want to leave Roman just yet. "So, I guess we're here."
"Yeah," Roman responded eloquently.
"I had a real nice time."
Roman smiled. "Me too."
Virgil bit his lip. "Would it-would it be okay if I kissed you?"
Roman blushed lightly. "Yeah, sure."
Virgil blushed a pale pink and leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to Roman's lips. It was simple and sweet. When they pulled away, both were matching blushes.
Virgil stepped away. "Good night, Roman." He smiled and turned to go inside.
"Good night, Virgil," Roman responded as he watched the other step inside after giving him a small wave. Virgil went to bed with a smile to rival the Mona Lisa that night.
-------------
Virgil bit his lip. Maybe he should have offered to pay for Roman to go to his dream college.
🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻
FNBMIG: @lehuka123
All: @misery-killed-me @superwholocked-for-life @mirror2thespirit @aroundofapplesauce @lyditist @little-euro-girl @unicornofdarknessstuff @maryann-draws @odette-ssbu
#no read more#remus sanders#virgil sanders#roman sanders#sanders sides#thomas sanders#patton sanders#logan sanders#janus sanders#mycatshuman fics#mycatshuman writing#sanders sides fic#sanders sides au#ts prinxiety#prinxiety#FNBMIG#fright night but make it gay#vampire virgil#ts remus#ts roman#ts virgil#ts patton#ts logan#ts janus
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The Lover’s Case
summary: a collection of headcanons for an au created including eli clark as a private detective and me as his badass partner, and how we work together and begin to simp for one another.
genre: fluff, light crack?? angst/comfort sprinkled in at the end
warnings: cops, gore(??)/murder scene mentions, violence and nightmares, angst/panicking but it’s fixed with comfort!
a/n: an au idea i suddenly had at like 10 pm and continued to write till 12:44 am, private detective!eli clark x rebel to-be partner!me au owns my heart so i decided to write headcanons for it because i was thinking about him and was in a shitty mood before bed, so... headcanon time!!!
-eli’s a private detective(in his recluse outfit ofc because i am truly a simp for that fit) and works on his own or strictly with other detectives
-(he doesn’t trust the police because where it’s set in this au, they’re known for fucking with evidence when it’s fitting for them, and also fuck cops in general so he’s a mainly lone private detective)
-i’m a well-known rebellious citizen that enjoys snooping around and looking into crime that goes on, even going to the scene of the crime when no one is around to get a closer look and come up with my own theories
-listen i don’t want to go to college and have one job for the rest of my life, that applies in this au too
-even though i could get into trouble for snooping too far in and not being a certified detective, fuck you and fuck off my life my rules
-we are the bad girl x good guy aesthetic, i have a motorcycle and have a lot of grunge outfits and he looks put together and calm
-but don’t be fooled! we are both also badass of course.
-i lowkey and unofficially become his partner in the cases he takes after we bump into each other at one of the crime scenes(a m//rder scene to be exact) he was going to inspect, and he found me examining it
-when he starts to scold me for how much danger i could be getting into(with the police or the culprit) i only argue back with him, and give him my own ideas i have about what could’ve happened because i don’t let bitches scold me
-even though i can be stupid and overthink, a lot, among other things. listen i may be stupid,
-anyways! while some of the ideas i spouted are... definitely outlandish(on purpose because i’m not serious half the time), some of them make a lot of sense and he didn’t even think that they could be connected to the case
-after first he’s hesitant to work with me, but i annoy him into letting me help and he begrudgingly agrees to work with me
-“but only this once. you aren’t even a certified detective...” “HELL YEAH LET’S FUCKING GO!”
-eli talking to his owl after that interaction: “brooke rose have i made a mistake?”
-but after i help him a bit more with the case(and give a lot of my attention to brooke rose as i help him), he’s able to figure out the case and solve it, taking the right steps to have the culprit arrested!
-case complete! but something still feels... missing, at least for eli.
-he realizes the potential i have in solving cases than the whole police force in the town or any other detective he worked with
-after a few days of thinking it over, he decides to make me his partner, and he goes to my house one night and gives me the offer, which goes a little like this:
-he steps up to the door of the apartment that i live in, he was able to sneak in somehow, but that’s not important
-when he knocks on my door, he has brooke rose on his shoulder, knowing that’ll show he’s there in a more casual and calm sense
-when i open the door i’m only in a baggy sweater and shorts, and he’s like 😳 because he’s thinking, ‘oh wait she’s kinda cute..’
-and he’d only seen me in a black leather jacket, a long band t-shirt and skinny jeans, so this is new
-eli unlocked my night fit. i unlocked eli’s attraction to me. ✌️😌
-i lean against the doorframe and cross my arms, looking up at him with a smug grin,
-“aww, hey owl detective! i wasn’t expecting to see you so soon, do you need somethin’?” “you... could say that, how would you feel about being my partner, [insert my last name because fuck you i ain’t risking that]?”
-so after that, he takes me under his wing
-that’s funny haha wing joke because he still has brooke rose his owl hehe
-m’kay shut up katlin you aren’t funny just write the headcanons.
-remember when i said i have a motorcycle in this au? that’s boutta come back up now
-we definitely ride together in my motorcycle, he used to have to walk or run around everywhere, but after meeting me, not anymore!
-having him sit behind me with his arms tightly wrapped around my waist is a must since he doesn’t know how to ride a motorcycle and we don’t want him to fall off, y’know?
-“are you enjoying yourself, eli?!” “HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I AM ALWAYS AFRAID WHENEVER I RIDE WITH YOU!?!” “...i’ll take that as your doing splendid!”
-i don’t even ride that fast, he’s just not used to it since he’s used to traveling around town by foot
-i hold my arm out for eli to grab onto so he doesn’t stumble and fall onto the ground, giggling when he “glares” at me, but we continue on with our business!
-yeah the motorcycle stuff is self-indulgent because i want this to happen
-as time goes on and we become closer by working on more cases together, or hanging out a bit outside of work, we become much closer! with us becoming closer we also begin to harbor
-well, y’know, romantic feelings towards each other
-for how we officially get together, i have it all planned out.
-it’s one night after one we are taking a vacation off of working on the cases, because of one we were working on for awhile was finally solved
-it was a longer, more draining one, with us continuously getting stuck, being stopped and questioned by the police(who repeatedly threatened to arrest us, especially me(and eli too, even though he was literally a private detective)), kept losing the culprit and getting into danger with the culprit sending their henchmen after us, etc. just very draining and stressful for the two of us.
-one night, eli has a nightmare back to one of the nights where we were being followed by the henchmen of the culprit while riding home on the motorcycle
-in real life, we were able to escape from them by going down a deserted road and losing them before heading to eli’s house to hideout at, which was closest at the time
-but in his nightmare, we heard a pop noise and one of the motorcycle’s tires deflating and we’re forced to pull over
-before we can run or hide, we are ambushed are being separated from each other when they grab me and drag me away, i struggle and yell at them and eli is pinned down onto the ground, on of the assailants elbows digging into his back while they held his arms behind him
-eli can only watch hopelessly as i’m dragged off, screaming for me, and at our captors to at least let me go and take him instead
-before more can happen in the nightmare, eli pulls himself out of it in cold sweat, shooting up off his bed and breathing in and out heavily, he sighs and stands up off his bed
-brooke rose can tell he’s uneasy and flies over to comfort him, he starts to pace around his home, fiddling with the things he owns, getting water(even if he wasn’t thirsty), etc. he was nervous, and this wasn’t like him
-then, some scary thoughts start to form in his mind, making his original nervousness increase tenfold and become full on panicking
-was katlin alright? was she sleeping peacefully at her home? what if the culprit’s henchmen were still after us? or after her specifically?
-oh fuck.
-this made him panic and he quickly flew up from whatever he was doing before to go get dressed in his usual attire, putting the bandages around his eyes before running over to my place, brooke rose flying behind him
-as he’s running, he doesn’t even realize that he’s started crying under the bandages, his focus on getting to my place and making sure i’m safe
-when he arrives, he almost runs into the door, but is able to stop in time and starts to knock on it
-the loud, obnoxious knocking wakes me up and i grumble before walking over to the door and opening it while rubbing my eyes
-“it’s four in the fucking morning, who is-“
-as i look up to see eli, and see how his panting and obviously distressed, my irritated and tired mood completely switches to a concerned one
-“wh- eli? are you okay? what’s going on?” “i just- i had- i had to make sure that..”
-he isn’t able to make a coherent response and just let’s a sob fall from his lips, nearly collapsing onto his knees in front of me
-i’m of course freaking out too, the usually calm and collected eli is now a sobbing mess at my door, and i have no clue why, so i begin to panic as well
-i place my hands on each of his shoulders and pull him closer into a firm hug, wrapping my arms around his neck and pull his head into my shoulder
-eli almost immediately accepts it, wrapping both arms around me and clinging onto my baggy pajama sweater, sobbing into my shoulder
-“let’s get you inside, okay? i can make you some hot chocolate or something to eat?”
-he nods and i lead him into my house, sitting him down on the couch before disappearing off to my kitchen only to return minutes later with hot chocolate and some snacks, setting them down onto the table in front of the couch
-“i know you probably expect a meal and stuff, but i live alone and don’t have many guests over, so this is all i really got.” “there’s no need for anything fancy, katlin.. thank you.”
-as he starts to slowly eat and drink, we sit there in awkward silence for awhile, neither of us super tired now
-“so, umm.. what was it that you had to make sure of, eli?”
-he freezes for a moment when he remembers the nightmare he had, he sighs and rests back on the couch fully
-“i... wanted to check on you, to make sure you were okay. i had a nightmare back to the night when we were being followed and had to hide at my house, and... and-“
-his admission makes me flush somewhat and become warm, i turn to him as he attempts to stutter out an answer, taking his hands and squeezing them
-“don’t continue if you don’t feel like you’re able to right now, i’m here and i’m safe.”
-eli turns to me, i smile even though he can’t see it and gently wipe his cheeks that were damp from his tears with my sleeve, he relaxes and scoots closer
-he feels me gently run my hand along his bandages and he tenses up as a frown forms on his features, slowly reaching up to grab my wrists, making me freeze up completely
-“m-may i?” “do it, move my bandages..”
-when i do move the bandages down to rest around his neck, i see his blank, distant, grayish blue eyes, he sighs and takes my hands into his
-“i didn’t know how you would react, but.. now is a better time than ever.” he says with a sigh, as if everything is finally being lifted from his shoulders as he continues, “i... i’m blind. it’s part of the reason why i worked alone for awhile, i didn’t want others to find out and think i’m useless, even though i’m not.”
-i’m taken aback by his confession, at first i’m angry at whoever made him feel this way, but brush it off and focus on him again, now smiling and holding his face with my hands and press my forehead into his
-“i’m glad you can recognize your own strengths, because you are so strong, and brave, eli. you’ve gone through so much bullshit with so many people in this goddamn town, and you continue to prove that you can be trusted, and are capable of doing great things! maybe those bitches will never understand my thinking, but i believe you are just.. so amazing, and inspiring, for everyone around you!”
-eli has to bite back a sob when he hears me pour my heart out to him about how i feel, biting his lip and smiling, he shuts his eyes and starts to tear up and cry again, but now out of happiness as he presses his forehead into mine in return
-“i... i love you, fuck, i love you.” he murmurs as the realization of his feelings hit him like a train, he places both hands on my sides, starting to move closer to me and pull me closer to his form
-i open my eyes wide and look up at him, seeing him crying. my gaze softens on him with love and i smile once more, gently wiping his tears away as some small tears form in my eyes, “i love you too, you have no idea..”
-eli smiles and moves his head back for a moment, he reaches up slowly and feels around my face with his fingers, making me giggle in confusion until his thumb touches my lip, and realization hits me almost immediately.
-“are you gonna..?” “i want to, but only if you’ll let me.”
-when he feels me nod, he leans closer as his eyes close, but he stops when his lips are just grazing mine and he freezes up for a second, but then he leans in further and kisses me gently, holding my chin in between his fingers now
-i close my eyes and place my hands on the back of his neck, melting into the kiss and moving my hands up behind his head to run them through his hair before we pull back after a moment, i smile.
-when i start to yawn, i look up at the clock nearby and am shocked at the fact that an hour and a half has already passed, but am nonetheless happy that i spent that time with eli.
-“it’s already five thirty? christ... eli, do you wanna just wanna stay here with me? it’s almost morning, and it’d be rude of me to kick you out after, well, y’know..” “i would enjoy that greatly.”
-we end up falling asleep in my bed, facing each other with our arms wrapped around one another, my head resting in the crook of his neck, right under his head while he rests his on top of mine
-we both sleep peacefully from then on.
-so... we’re basically detective partners but also in love, i do not do not make the rules
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Episode 6: the One Where LWJ is Drunk and Gets Married
YES, GUYS GALS AND NB PALS, WE ARE AT THIS MOST WONDERFUL EPISODE.
OUR FIRST INTRODUCTION TO DRUNKJ!LWJ
AND THE HANDFASTING THAT INSPIRED A MILLION FICS
Okay, to set the scene, we’ve got JC, NHS and WWX having a sneaky drinking party with Forbidden Alcohol
Obviously, LWJ can spidey-sense when a rule is being violently broken so he appears at the scene of the crime to BREAK UP THE PARTY (or possibly a threesome?? He’s not sure but he’s gonna put a stop to that immediately)
HIS SERIOUS BB FACE IS SUPER ADORABLE HERE, GUYS
LIKE, I’M MORE PARTIAL TO WWX BUT UGH, LWJ IS SO CUTE HERE???
IT’S AWFUL
WWX: *bounces right into lwj’s space* join us for a drink lan zhan!! We earned it after defeating the Haunted Water!!
LWJ: *stares over wwx’s shoulder* alcohol is forbidden in the cloud recesses
WHY WON’T YOU LOOK HIM IN THE FACE, LWJ?? IS IT BECAUSE HE’S SO CLOSE TO YOU SUDDENLY???
WWX: chill out dude *playfully tugs on lwj’s sleeve*
Oh man, the glare that lwj shoots at wwx’s hand here could have started a fire. I mean, it must have at least burned a little with how quickly wwx lets go
LWJ: Report to the Punishment Chamber
Did they have to call it ‘punishment chamber’??
It sounds like some kind of kinky sex dungeon, which, like, to each their own,(i’ll read some kinky sex dungeon fic every once and a while, myself)
But this is Ancient Fantasy China summer school…seems a little inappropriate in context
ANYWAY
WWX again tries to coax LWJ in to having a drink with them. He doesn’t understand how someone can just…not drink alcohol. Oh wwx, you budding alcoholic you
And here WWX nobly sacrifices himself to save his drunk buddies by distracting lwj (who was about to call for backup, like a narc) and pins some sort of mind-control talisman on him
Wwx: sit and have a drink with me!
Lwj: *sits down and takes a shot*
Lwj: *passes out*
Wwx: omg i killed him. WAKE UP YOU CAN’T STAY HERE!! YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!!
Wwx: *proceeds to gently guide lwj onto the bed*
You know after that initial panic, wwx looks too damn pleased with himself, especially after he gets lwj to call him wei-gege
Wwx suddenly notices that lwj’s ribbon is off kilter and informs him of it bc that’s what friends do
Wwx: your ribbon is crooked
Lwj: *scandalized gasp* crooked??
Why’s he so adorable when he’s drunk?? LOOK AT HIM TRYING TO SEE HIS OWN FOREHEAD AND GETTING ALL CROSS-EYED, WHAT A CUTIE
Wwx: i can help!!
Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand* Go Away
Wwx: you’re making it worse!!
Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand away harder* DON’T TOUCH! THE RIBBON IS ONLY FOR FAMILY AND SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
And now we have a way to measure their queer queer love for each other without making the censors mad
How does this show do it?? This is gayer than most of the stuff aired in the US and the US doesn’t even have that kind of censorship laws media producers here are a bunch of COWARDS, disney i’m looking at you
Wwx: lol, significant others, really?
Lwj: what’s so funny
Wwx: nobody’s gonna marry into the lan clan with your thousands of dumb rules and chronic allergy to fun
LOLOLOL BOY HAS NO CLUE. JUST YOU WAIT WWX, YOU’RE GONNA EAT THOSE WORDS
Wwx: nope, you are gonna be Forever Alone
Lwj: …that’s fine
This is actually kind of heartbreaking tbh
He’s so resigned and pretending so hard not to care!!
HE TRULY BELIEVES HE’S NOT LOVABLE *UGLY CRYING*
Idk how the actor did it bc lwj still has a very placid expression on his face but it somehow manages to convey like, a sense of loneliness while still looking adorably drunk?? Idk man, i think black magic might be involved
All this to say POOR BB LAN ZHAN, COME HERE SWEETIE AND LET ME HUG YOU. YOU’RE GONNA BE FINE, I SWEAR.
Wwx is so incredulous at this response. Like he totally believes lwj would be okay staying alone forever but he doesn’t understand it
Bc wwx is a dumb teenage boy who doesn’t yet have the emotional intelligence to see that lwj is just saying that bc he’s scared and hurting
Now we get to see an acute case of Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome like we did back in episode 2!
Wwx: your mother must be so bored here all the time
DAMN IT WWX
WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BRINGING UP PEOPLE’S DEAD MOTHERS???
LWJ: i don’t have a mother
He says flatly HIDING HIS SORROW
*UGLY SOBBING*
HE’S SO SAD AND LONELY GUYS
IT HURTS TO LOOK AT
WWX: you can’t not have a mother! Somebody gave birth to…oh.
There’s a crack vid somewhere on youtube with this scene voiced over “it was at that moment he realized…he Fucked Up”
And it’s true
Dumb boy
Here WWX makes up by sharing his sad orphan story with LWJ. it’s so sweet
THEIR SONG IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE THIS EXCHANGE HAPPENS
UGH THIS SHOW
LISTEN, ALL THIS HAS HAPPENED ALREADY AND WE’RE BARELY 10 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE
LIKE, WHAT??
HOW. HOW CAN YOU GIVE ME SO MANY FEELINGS IN TEN MINUTES. THE FIRST TEN MINUTES OF THE EP EVEN.
WWX: my parents died when i was four and I can’t remember their faces–but i do remember getting chased by feral dogs
POOR BB WWX
HE CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THEIR FACES
OH, but we do get to see Actual BB!wwx in a brief flashback (within a flashback, remember this summer school business is not present time, how weird is that) and he’s riding a donkey while his mama and papa walk beside him. It’s adorable.
And after all that Emotional Vulnerability, he’s like “i’ll drink to that bro!” and makes a toast
I actually kind of like the toast he makes here with lwj tho
He tells him “may we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is worth forgetting”
Idk if that’s like, a traditional toast or something he made up on the spot, but i like it
We get a brief moment of plot development here.
AND OOOOH, THEY’RE ABOUT TO GET IN TROUBLE!!
So some Lan SNITCH barges into the room where lqr and lxc are at and is all “we caught wwx drinking Forbidden Alcohol!” and lxc’s expression is all gently amused
but then Lan Snitch continues “LWJ was with him!!” and lxc’s amused expression quickly morphs into Very Alarmed
(right before that all happened tho we get to see lwj fall out of bed, still passed out drunk and wwx laughs at him. I can’t even hold that against him bc i totally laughed at lwj too)
The camera now shows us some frankly HORRIFYING beating sticks (paddles?? Do they qualify as paddles?? THEY’RE HUGE AND SCARY AND MADE OF NIGHTMARES)
And bc LWJ is too honorable for his own good
Lwj: i am at fault and accept my punishment!
And goes on his knees to willingly get beaten. STOP THAT LWJ
WWX IMMEDIATELY steps in to take the blame, like no, it’s actually my fault bc i forced him to drink when he didn’t want to. LAN ZHAN SHOULDN’T GET PUNISHED!!
LQR: (proving that lans are all Dramatique) ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN CLOUD RECESSES??
Take a chill pill, old man. A teenager getting drunk is not gonna start the apocalypse (probably)
And here lwj completely ignores wwx’s attempt to absolve him and is all no, I Made a Mistake and Must Get Punished
Wwx: STOP ASKING FOR PUNISHMENT YOU IDIOT
So the punishment is kind of…harsh, but also lol bc as soon as wwx sees lwj take the beating without flinching or even staggering under the strength of the hits (lwj is truly a stronger man than i; one look at those Nightmare Sticks I would’ve run for the hills), he grits his teeth and forces himself to stay steady
Wwx: *internally but you can totally read it in his face* i’m not gonna let that bastard one-up me!! I have WAY more experience taking punishments. I am the punishment KING.
Okay so that all happens and afterwards WINGMAN LXC STRIKES AGAIN
LXC: wwx, you should definitely visit the family’s private cold spring
LXC: you know, so you can heal faster and not miss class
LXC: not for any other reason
I’D LIKE TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO THANK GOD AND ALSO JESUS FOR THE UPCOMING SCENE
WE ARE AT THE COLD SPRING
LOOK AT WWX RUNNING TOWARDS LWJ
WET, HALF-NAKED LWJ
Wwx: *leans coquettishly against a tree thing and pouts* why didn’t you tell me about this spring? Friends don’t keep secrets from friends!!
wwx, you’re so clever, how can you be so stupid – boy is flirting at max level and doesn’t even realize it???
Lwj: HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE *frantically robes up like some virginal maiden which he kinda is*
Wwx: your brother told me!
Lwj: *internally* brother why
And here wwx gets into the cold spring
Wwx: so cold so cold, let me get close to you where it’s warmer~! *dives right into lwj’s personal bubble*
Lwj: *takes a HUGE step back*
Wwx: *pouts* you know i didn’t like you much before but after our Romantic Moonlit Sword Fight and our Sword Fight By the Waterfall, i’ve decided i like you a lot and we should definitely be friends forever
Lwj: *doesn’t even look at wwx* That’s Not Necessary
Wwx: before you reject me, let me show you all the ~benefits~ to being my friend! *starts to strip*
(I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING YOU, HE LITERALLY SAID BENEFITS AND STARTED TO GET NAKED)
LWJ *is Horrified in a Repressed Gay Way* WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WWX: getting naked?? To heal better?? I thought this was obvious???
LWJ: *determinedly walks away*
WWX: wait don’t leave!! I’ll keep my clothes on! Anyway you should definitely visit me in yunmeng and i can pick lotus seeds for you. That’s totally what i meant about benefits.
LWJ: no
WWX: i can also introduce you to all the pretty girls there!
I CRACK UP EVERY TIME AT THIS. WWX, THAT IS A WHOLE GAY BOY YOU’RE TALKING TO, OH MY GOD
Then it turns out the cold spring is actually Haunted Water 2: This Time It’s Personal and tries to drown them
See this is why i don’t trust any bodies of water
They’re all out to get us
AND NOW WE GET TO THE CAVE OF WONDERS (or cold pond cave, whatev)
Wwx: what is happening
Lwj: *is fascinated by the cave of wonders*
Lwj: *internally* ooooh Magic Guqin!! (BECAUSE HE’S A NERD LOLOL)
Magic Guqin: NOT TODAY SATAN *attacks wwx*
Wwx: WHY IS IT ATTACKING ME, I DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING YET!!
brief pause here to point out that we meet the bunnies now!! Hello bunnies!!! Everyone in the fandom loves you~!!! 💗💗💗
Okay so Magic Guqin continues to attack wwx but wwx is a Clever Boy and figures out that it’s only attacking him because he doesn’t have a sacred lan ribbon
Wwx: lwj, quick, give me your ribbon!
Lwj: *FLIES RIGHT OVER TO WWX and proceeds to bind their wrists together with the SACRED RIBBON ONLY FAMILY ANd S.O.’s CAN TOUCH*
Then the camera zooms in on the metal piece of the ribbon that is now swaying gently between them like, Subtlety? Never heard of her!
Camera: yep, this is totally a straight thing that straight bros do together
So now that they’re bound together for eternity the boys approach the Magic Guqin
Lwj slaps wwx’s hands away from the guqin here – just bc i let you touch the sacred ribbon doesn’t mean you can touch the magic guqin that tried to murder you
BC LWJ IS A MUSIC NERD AND IS TOTALLY GEEKING OUT OVER THE PRECIOUS MUSICAL HEIRLOOM
LWJ proceeds to reverently play the Magic Guqin and we have this moment where he’s like, floating in space surrounded by glowy blue lights??
Idk man, it’s weird but we’ll roll with it
This is the first time we see him communicate with spirits using music, btw.
Now we meet Lan Yi!! Who is a badass and important for plot reasons but the Valid Reason she’s mentioned here is because SHE OFFICIATES THE WANGXIAN WEDDING (bc we’ve already established that we’re not here for the plot lol)
the boys are tied together with the sacred ribbon and then they bow to a clan elder. How is that not, bare minimum, a handfasting???
Okay, technically, lwj bowed to the elder first to show respect while wwx stood there all stunned until lwj reminded him of the Importance of Manners. Then wwx bowed. But I’m pretty sure that still counts.
“You two being here must be destiny!” lan yi says, “i’m gonna do some plot exposition so pay attention.”
Thankfully we are not lwj or wwx so we don’t have to pay attention at all!!
At some point, wwx makes a clever comment and lan yi is all “wwx you’re as smart as i thought!!
Yes yes i definitely approve of you marrying my great great great grand-son/nephew/whatever the heck he is, idk i’ve been in this cave too long with only bunnies for company" (🎶bunnies are better than people, buns don’t you think that’s true~?🎶 I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT REFERENCE, DISNEY YOU STILL SUCK I JUST HAVE POOR SELF-RESTRAINT)
Okay, she for real complimented wwx’s intelligence (bc I guess everyone’s hot for WWX’s big brain? Idk) but i’m pretty sure she was thinking the rest of that really loudly in her head
Then more plot stuff happens and the episode ends!!!
Beautiful, phenomenal episode. One of the MOST IMPORTANT Wangxian episodes we have!! 100/10 stars, would watch again.
Return to Masterpost
#WangXiantics#wangxian#the untamed#this is my valentines gift to the fandom#well#this episode and the next one#it's not much#but it's all I have!#I MADE IT WITH LOVE AND I'VE BEEN ASSURED THAT THAT'S WHAT MATTERS
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What good fics have you read recently?
sure! here’s some fics I’ve read and enjoyed over the past few months
febuwhump/fluff 2020! series by searchingforstars
summary: a collection of the works i completed using most of the prompts for febuwhump/febufluff 2020.
pairings: ned/peter, pepperony
tags: hurt/comfort, angst
warnings: none
Identity Saga series* by KitCat992
summary: An organically developed, platonic slow-burn of Avengers-fam dynamic with a heavy hand of Irondad & Spiderson. Throw in an overdose of whump, a couple of cunning villains and a big-bad hiding in the shadows, and you got yourself this hot mess.
pairings: pepperony
tags: hurt/comfort, angst
warnings: kidnapping
the peter protection program by spideynamu
summary: Tony snickered, “We—we call it the Peter Protection Program.”
(aka 5 times people were recruited to the peter protection program and the 1 time they had their first meeting.)
pairings: none
tags: fluff, humor
warnings: none
love dares you to change* by homebuilding
summary: It isn’t that Tony Stark doesn’t like kids; he simply doesn’t understand them. He certainly never wanted any of his own. Not after his own childhood, witnessing first hand what a Stark father can do to their child.
Which is why, when a kid is thrusted into his life unexpectedly, he has no idea how to take care of it- him. So, naturally, he hires a village of caretakers and let’s the professionals do the job.
It isn’t until he is kidnapped and tortured by a group of terroists and an old doctor shows him what he truly is missing; love.
Or: my take on the biological father!Tony where he doesn’t become a wonderful father right away and struggles to connect with his child due to his past.
pairings: none
tags: hurt/comfort, fluff
warnings: child abuse
on the other side of this door by iron_spider
summary: “Tony,” Peter’s voice says, over the coms.
Tony’s heart jolts. “Speak of the—think of the devil, more like—hey kid, meet up with me, I don’t like you running around here alone during all this.”
“I, uh—I’m on the third floor, in the red lab, uh, the back storage room. Back right corner.”
Tony narrows his eyes, and picks up the pace. “Alright, you okay? You find something?”
“Uh. It’s worse than we think,” he says, and Tony can hear his voice shaking.
Tony starts running. “Why?” he asks, his heart slamming against his chest. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”
pairings: none
tags: angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: none
a sticky situation by ciaconnaa
summary: “Hey, Tony, look what I can do!”
Of all the things he expected in the grand adventure that is babysitting Peter’s daughter, Tony did not expect to turn his head to find the kid stuck to the ceiling.
Like father, like daughter, it would seem.
pairings: none
tags: fluff, humor
warnings: none
There to hold your hand by frostysunflowers
summary: He feels terrible. Worse than terrible. The razors in his throat are long and sharp and every short inhale of breath scratches like sandpaper. There’s a deep drumbeat inside his head and as a wracking cough makes itself known, he becomes aware of the jaw-nagging ache in his right ear.
There’s no denying it now.
Tonsillitis.
pairings: none
tags: hurt/comfort, fluff
warnings: none
Peter’s Loss of Wisdom by Bowtiez
summary: Apparently, anesthetics and Peter Parker don’t mix too well. Tony Stark find this out the hard way. Who knew taking his kid to get his wisdom teeth extracted would be quite an adventure? At least you only get your wisdom teeth removed once, right?
or,
Peter’s a clueless little bean who can’t keep a single train of thought and Tony tries not to lose his mind.
pairings: none
tags: fluff, humor
warnings: none
nobody understands us and i don’t understand it by searchingforstars
summary: Five times somebody doesn’t quite understand Tony and Peter’s relationship + the one time it finally makes perfect sense.
pairings: angst, fluff
tags: fluff, angst
warnings: none
You Are My Sunshine* by iamconstantine
summary: Tony Stark had always been a man of science and he always would be. It was his personal and fundamental belief that everything had an explanation. His eventual encounters with Norse gods, alien life, and sorcerers did kind of quake this a little bit, but still.
One thing that had always confounded him as the one thing that had no scientific explanation was fate. Murphy’s law, Finagle’s law, the butterfly effect, the domino effect, the snowball effect, and the wisest of all: “Shit happens.”
So how peculiar was it that one of the greatest things to ever happen to him began with a tray of champagne?
(In which Peter Parker is Tony’s biological son)
Chapters 1-12: Pre-Iron ManChapters 13-???: Iron Man
pairings: pepperony, ben/may
tags: fluff, hurt/comfort
warnings: none
give the cookies a miss by searchingforstars
summary: “Surprise!” Morgan exclaims as soon as they’re both in the room. She gestures excitedly towards a few slightly sad looking lumps of something drenched in icing and severed onto sticks. There are sprinkles as well, which look like they might have been a nice touch to cheer the entire thing up, had the majority of them not ended up scattered around the surrounding bench space.
“Daddy and I made cookie pops! Well, I made them, he just helped me use the big scary whisk-y thingy. They’re for Katie’s birthday party tomorrow because we all have to bring something yummy to eat, and Daddy wanted to do regular cookies but I told him that was boring. So we made these instead!”
–
or, Peter is poisoned by the ones he trusts most.
pairings: none
tags: fluff, hurt/comfort
warnings: none
more peril in thine eye by iron_spider
summary: Tony sits in relative darkness, the TV on mute, Friday running searches like she has been every day for the past month. A month, since Quentin Beck’s grand plan crumpled underneath him on that bridge. A month, since a flash of light was able to distract Peter just as he was about to bring Beck down. A month, since Beck snatched him, since both of them disappeared. An entire. Month.
I’ll keep you updated. I promise.
I love you, kid. Rhodey’s on his way, alright? He’s coming. He’s gonna go as fast as he can.
I love you too. I’ll be okay. I promise. I can do this.
The last thing Tony heard Peter say.
Rhodey, Happy and Fury traversed the London landscape immediately afterwards. They found the glasses, but not Spider-Man. There was footage enough to incriminate Beck for what he was, but somehow, nobody was able to get a shot of when he grabbed Peter. Peter was knocking him around, looked like he was getting the upper hand, and then that flash of light.
Gone. Gone.
pairings: michelle/peter, happy/may, pepperoy
tags: angst
warnings: torture
it’s your love that brings me home by killerqueenwrites (KillainsTales)
summary: “What happened?”
“They took her out of school,” Tony says. “Just – walked in and left with her, and not a single person in that entire stupid place thought – none of them even looked – and we can’t get a license plate, FRIDAY can’t track the car on cameras–“
“Let me help,” Peter says. “I can get out there, cover more ground than the cops – and I’m stealthy, they won’t see me coming, not like you or Rhodey–“
“I said no.”
or Morgan is kidnapped and Peter knows he has to save her, whatever it takes.
pairings: none
tags: angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: kidnapping
that’s amore, squirt by floweryfran
summary: or; five times tony proves he’s capable as a father and one time peter proves he’s a good son, thank you very much
———The place— he always wants the place to look good when the kid is over. The Compound is big and white and echoing and lonely with just him and Pepper living here full time, Natasha visiting when she isn’t babysitting the illegal Captains America and checking in on Frozone, and Rhodey only here when he’s not prepping himself to be the next goddamn president of the United States. He likes it when the kid stays, he looks forward to it, and wants him to see it as a place to be comfortable, at the very least. He sleeps there two nights a week, anyway— more if he’s been stabbed or tased or something else stupid as shit and needs to be observed overnight in the medbay. It ought to be some semblance of a home.
pairings: none
tags: fluff
warnings: none
More Ancient Than Magic by ironfamjam
summary: Life isn’t exactly normal when your Head of House is also kinda your father-figure and his daughter is kinda sorta your little sister.
It’s also not normal when the bad guys your real-life-war-hero-not-actually-dad defeated in The Great War threaten to return and you’re still just trying to finish your Charms essay.
But Professor Stark asked him to protect Morgan. And that’s what he’s going to do.
Even if it breaks him.
The mini Hogwarts AU
pairings: michelle/peter, pepperony
tags: fluff, angst
warnings: torture
Peaches by peterparkr
summary: There’s no response, not even a faint twinge of muscle. Peter tries to listen for a heartbeat, but he can’t seem to focus enough to pinpoint it. Another bubble of thought starts to rise. This could be the reason his spidey-sense is going haywire.
Tony could be—He pushes the bubble down.
OR
Peter and Tony find themselves stranded in the woods after an Avengers mission
pairings: none
tags: hurt/comfort, angst
warnings: none
how can the body die? (you tell me, everything) by madasthesea
summary: Tony felt panic creep up his spine. Something was occurring to him, slowly percolating in the back of his mind.
“You said the stinger got you. Is Scorpion’s stinger venomous?”
“I don’t—” Peter cut off as he groaned, the muscles in his jaw tight. “I don’t know. He upgraded—he was faster. Bigger. I—I thought I could beat him.”
pairings: none
tags: hurt/comfort
warnings: none
Cursed Christmas by sahiya
summary: A series of unfortunate events befalls Tony, Pepper, Peter, and Morgan (and Happy and May) in the week leading up to Christmas.
It’d be kind of funny if it didn’t totally suck. Fortunately, they’ve got good back-up.
pairings: pepperony
tags: hurt/comfort
warnings: none
Midnight Oil by JolinarJackson
summary: After everything that has happened to Peter over the last year - or five, really - he shouldn’t be worried about something as mundane as the ACT. When he fails it, though it sends him into a spiral of self-doubt, which only gets worse when Peter realizes that he doesn’t seem to be able to fix whatever is broken.
pairings: michelle/peter, pepperony
tags: angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: none
Love Will Remind Us Who We Are by blondsak
summary: There had been many times in Tony’s life when he’d known the piercing clarity that separated a Good Day from a Bad Day. Had known the ways in which, upon first waking, one’s soul would strike a balance between agony and relief either in your favor, or not.
But none of his earlier Good and Bad times had prepared him for his reality now.
//
Nine months after the Avengers defeated Thanos, Tony is still reckoning with the toll the final snap took on his body. Between grueling physical therapy, near-constant pain, and the inability to so much as tie his own shoes, well– things aren’t exactly like Tony had imagined.
Luckily for him, there’s a certain kid from Queens who won’t let Tony give up so easily.
pairings: none
tags: angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: none
Take it easy, take it easy* by sturionic
summary: “Tony,“ Rhodes groans, "I am begging you. Please just explain your thought process to me, man. I want to understand where you’re at.”
“Well, honey bear, it’s simple. Kid needs a home. I have a home. I need another pair of hands to help take care of this baby. The kid has hands.”
“Yeah, okay.” Rhodes rolls his eyes. “You didn’t answer my first question. What makes you think he’ll even want to live with you?”
Tony raises an eyebrow. “I told you,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Morgan likes him, and he likes Morgan. Plus, we bonded. In space.”
“Okay!” Rhodes throws up his hands in resignation. “Okay. I give up. Whatever. Adopt Spider-Man. Jesus Christ.”
-
Peter survives the Snap only to find he’s alone once again, and Tony Stark steps off the Benatar to find James Rhodes holding his month-old daughter with Pepper nowhere in sight. At first it’s an arrangement of convenience and mutual grief. Someday, God willing, it might become a family.
pairings: none
tags: hurt/comfort
warnings: none
What We Lose in the Fire We Gain in the Flood by xxx_cat_xxx
summary: The universe is saved, Thanos is defeated, the Vanished are returned, and Tony has survived (though with severe radiation burns and one less arm). Everything should be good now - except that it isn’t.
While Tony embarks on a painful and frustrating recovery, he wrestles with the fear that he’s no longer capable of caring for his family. Meanwhile, Peter tries to find his place in a world that just doesn’t feel like his own anymore.
pairings: pepperony
tags: angst
warnings: none
#my fic recs#irondad#irondad and spiderson#tony stark#peter parker#now needless to say these aren't all of the bookmarks i made over the past few months#just a random selection of them#Becca answers#anon
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stupid • r.b
series masterlist
pt.1 pt.2
pairing: ricky bowen x reader
warnings: none
songs: Falling For U by Peachy! and mxmtoon, Wondering by Julia Lester and Olivia Rodrigo
words: 3.6k
AND ALSO I’M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE A MASTERLIST 🤪 YOU CAN SEE WHAT I’M WORKING ON AND YEAHHH
A/N: feedback is always appreciated 🥺 I’m sorry if you find any grammar mistakes. Enjoy xx
I have dreamed of playing the lead since 5th grade. Of course I didn't tell anyone besides my brother and Cousin. When I got home last night, my brother and I talked. He was happy for me. Ej also said that he was really proud of me but he also added that he thinks that Nini deserved better.
,,Yo, what's up? I'm trading in my East High Leopards gear to be a Wildcat, starting today, because it's the day of the read-through! Blessed to be playing Chad. Swipe up for a link to tickets.'' EJ said holding his phone up, smiling the whole time.
,,Hi!'' Ash and I exclaimed simultaneously, walking up to EJ.
,,Say hi to my cousin and my little sister and bye to my cousin and sister.'' he turned his phone off and put it in his jeans pocket.
,,You're in a good mood.'' I mentioned and continued walking beside him, with Ash on his other side.
,,That's just for the fans, Y/N. Inside I'm a bucket of sad.'' he stated and I looked at Ash and then at him.
,,You still not over the not-getting Troy thing?'' Ash asked.
,,I put 3 years into this drama department and now I have to understudy my girlfriend's ex?'' he turned to me.
,,No offense Y/N.” he added and I just laughed and waved it off.
,,I know it sucks. But, I mean; Y/N is Gabriella and I don't think we would want an incest couple in our play, you know.'' Ash explained and I cringed at the thought.
,,Ash is 100% right.'' I agreed and started walking faster, Ash right behind me.
When we arrived at the rehearsal room, I saw Ej putting the Chad Danford card next to the Gabriella one. Ricky and I didn't talk much since the auditions and maybe, just maybe, that was my fault. I have been avoiding him, which was actually pretty hard considering I had almost all my classes with him. He tried to talk to me here and there but I just hummed in response most of the time. Honestly I was just trying to get over my crush on him. He still wasn't over Nini and he actually wanted to take part in the musical for her and I kinda ruined his chances because she did not get the lead. I also didn't want to ruin our friendship. We were friends since kindergarten and I wanted to keep him as a friend. After the auditions, Ash came over. She actually told me not to avoid Ricky but I just thought it was a good idea. Of course Ej agreed with me.
,,Could everyone take their assigned seats?'' Ms.Jenn asked loud enough for everone to hear. I walked to my seat and noticed that Ej put the cards back to how they were. I sat down with a sigh. Soon after Miss Jenn actually asked Big Red to read the stage directions because Natalie, the stage director, wasn't there. And like 5 seconds after that Ricky took the seat next to me. I looked at Ash, who was sitting across from me. She smiled and turned her attention to the blonde drama teacher.
,,I realize that you all walked in here as strangers.'' she started looking at us.
,,Actually, I'm Y/N and EJ’s, cousin!'' Ashlyn corrected. I could see Ricky looking at me out of the corner of my eye but I just ignored him.
,,But after today, you're a family. Please take your neighbors' hand.'' she finished and everyone did what the teacher said. I took Gina's hand and turned my head to Ricky, who was holding his hand out for me. I took his hand but avoided eye contact.
,,Hand.'' Ms.Jenn said as soon as she saw that Ej and Ricky weren't holding hands. Their heads shot in my direction when they heard me giggle. I stopped immediately.
,,Feel each other's energy. Let the silence speak volumes. In a world full of no, this is a space full of yes.'' the drama teacher preached.
,,Nice. Did you just come up with that?'' Carlos whispered to the middle-aged woman.
,,I did.'' she replied, smiling at him. It was silent. Nobody said anything and I could feel Ricky staring again and I just turned my head to Gina and smiled at her. Seconds later Ms.Jenn started singing ''We're all in this together.''. I let go of Ricky and Gina's hand and looked at the script on my table, highlighting my lines. Ash started to clap after Ms.Jenn finished singing. Nobody clapped beside her so she stopped and everyone looked at her.
,,"Sharpay heads for class, hears singing," "opens the door to the biology lab." "She finds Gabriella and Taylor washing their hands." "They turn to find there are no paper towels in the dispenser. They-'''' Big Red was disrupted by Miss Jenn before he could continue reading.
,,Try to read the punctuation.'' she instructed and smiled at the redhead.
,,"Sharpay comma heads for class period.'''' he said and I grinned. He was so oblivious sometimes it was cute.
We took a break after reading act one. I was talking to Ash but I also kinda watched my brother and Nini talking. And, yes, Ricky looked at them too. Nini got a text, she laughed, and Ricky was on his phone so it was kinda obvious that he sent her a meme or something like that. Ej glared at him and sat down again.
,,Cool glasses.'' I turned my head to see Seb taking a seat next to Ashlyn. She smiled.
,,Thanks. They're my grandmas.'' she acknowledged.
,,I have the same ones at home.'' he laughed.
,,Really? Why?'' I asked, trying to join the conversation again.
,,So, I can see when I'm milking.'' he replied and I was confused.
Milking?
Before I had the chance to ask what he meant by that, Miss Jenn said that we were gonna continue.
I was on stage waiting for Ricky. Ms.Jenn wanted us to start rehearsing early and I wasn't really thrilled. When he came running in, he said that he was sorry for being late.
,,We're diving into page 97.'' Ms.Jenn directed and handed us the script.
,,You mean the last scene?'' Ricky asked just as confused as I was. The teacher just hummed in response.
,,You wanna rehearse this? It's just one line.'' I also asked.
,,Yeah, I've got one, too.'' Ricky stated turning to me.
,,And then there's the kiss.'' Ms.Jenn exclaimed. I looked at her and started to panic.
,,There was no-. I don't remember a kiss in what we read yesterday.'' I stuttered trying to reason with her.
,,It was very much in the original movie.''
,,I only remember a hug.'' I augmented further. I wasn't really in the mood to kiss my best friend. It would just make things more awkward between us.
,,The kiss ended up being cut. Little racy for its time.'' she explained looking at me with a smile.
Later that day I sat in Miss Jenn's office, explaining to her that I just couldn't kiss Ricky.
°Ej's POV°
I was standing outside Ms.Jenn's office, waiting for Y/N when Ashlyn walked up to me.
,,Hi!'' she greeted cheerfully.
,,Go away.'' I simply said.
,,No, you go away. You're standing in front of my locker.''
I stepped away and she opened the locker.
,,I can't believe this. She's around Ricky's finger.''
,,Who?'' Ash asked and looked at me.
,,Miss Jenn! She added a kiss.'' I explained and Ashlyn rolled her eyes.
,,Ej, stop. He's not bribing our director.'' she interrupted.
,,Y/N doesn't want to kiss him, Ash. And I don't want that either.''
,,Being her big brother doesn't mean you own her.'' she commented. I rolled my eyes and changed the subject.
,,I need you to do me a favor.''
,,What kind of favor?'' she asked with a raised brow.
,,I need you to borrow Nini's phone.'' I explained and she looked at me like I was crazy.
,,Borrow? As in steal?''
I just nodded. I needed to be 100% sure that Ricky wasn't in the way of my relationship. Nini was different. She wasn't like other girls. The girl helped me be a better person.
,,Okay, you've just gone up 3 levels of scary!'' the girl stressed, shocked by my words. She tried to reason with me for a bit but then she left, leaving me standing alone in front of the office, waiting for my sister.
°Y/N’s pov°
,,I'm kinda lost. If the play is over, why would we still be dancing?'' Ricky asked beside me. We were back in the rehearsing room. Just as I was about to answer, Carlos came up from behind us.
,,It's a certain call. You're the last two to come out. We want to bring the audience to their feet!'' he explained snickering.
,,Teach them the dance.'' Ricky joked.
,,Carlos? Can we wait for Miss Jenn?'' I pleaded kinda just wanting the director there.
,,Miss Jenn is busy tracking down a prop. She's asked me to create a crescendo, people, so let's stop swirling and let's start twirling.'' Carlos directed calmly.
,,But why are we practicing the bows when we haven't even practiced the play?'' Ricky asked still confused.
,,Because you start with the hardest dance that takes the longest to learn. It's in the Big Book of Broadway.'' Carlos started. Gina came up behind him.
,,Page 374.'' they both finished at the same time. Gina walked away after they both high-fived each other.
Shortly after we started practicing the dance. Ricky was terrible. I mean he tried but he did not succeed. Kinda embarrassing.
,,What is he doing?'' Nini asked from the side as soon as the music stopped. I turned to look at her. She stepped forward and looked at Carlos.
,,Why you're talking to him? I'm right here.''
And that was when I took a step back. I wasn't in the mood to be in the middle of Nini and Ricky drama. I had enough of that over the summer.
,,'Cause you're not here. Not for the right reasons.'' Nini snapped.
,,What's that supposed to mean?'' Ricky asked standing right in front of her. Everyone was silent. Nobody wanted to interrupt that conversation.
,,What I said, Ricky. You hate musicals. You're doing this so we're in each other's grills.''
Carlos took a step forward to break the two apart but they kept on going.
,,Now you're rubbing some weird cologne on your neck.''
,,Hey, you love Throb!''
,,And wasting everybody's time by making fun of something that the rest of us take seriously.'' the brown-haired girl ranted. After the words left her mouth, Carlos told everyone to take a five-minute break and to get out. I stayed just being moral support for Carlos and Ricky. He and Nini argued for a few more seconds, my brother's name was mentioned and Ricky left. Just as Miss Jenn came back, Ricky walked through the door.
,,We're you going Troy?'' she asked, confused as to why he was leaving in the middle of rehearsals.
,,It's Ricky.'' he mumbled before exiting the room. I sighed, looked at Nini, who looked at her hands, grabbed my things and went after him.
,,Why are my leads leaving?'' Miss Jenn asked again.
Ricky was way faster than me.
I mean have you seen him? He's way taller than me!
However, when I saw Big Red outside talking to him, I decided to let them talk. My mind just told me to leave him alone to cool off, you know? So I decided to talk to Nini instead. On the way back, Carlos asked me where Ricky went and I told him that he went outside. Not so sure if that was a good idea because it would just put more pressure on Ricky. When I arrived at the rehearsal room again, Miss Jenn was talking to Nini and she still stood by the piano, looking at her hands.
,,Nini can I talk to you for a second?'' I asked and walked in her direction. Miss Jenn turned to look at me and left the room without another word. I think she knew that it was better to let teenagers sort their problems out alone sometimes.
,,I really don't want to talk to you right now. Ricky probably send you and I'm really not in the mood to-''
,,Ricky did not 'send' me. I'm here because I chose to talk to you. I know that you probably don't even want that because I basically stole the role you wanted to play but listen. Miss Jenn is working really hard on this musical and so is everyone else and I know it's hard being in a musical with your ex- and current boyfriend but please, for the sake of this musical, get along with Ricky.''
,,Y/N you don't even understand the situation. You never had an ex before!''
,,That may be true but I'm not on good terms with Ricky either! Do you see me causing a scene? No! So please Nini, at least consider, not ripping Ricky's face off.'' and with that, I left.
The first thing I did when I arrived at home was eat. I always ate when I was frustrated. Not my best habit. While waiting for my pizza to be done, I decided to post something on Instagram
y/ncaswell
Salt Lake City, Utah
liked by ejcaswell, dancingcarlos and 67 more
y/ncaswell you're looking at your Gabriella Montez baby 🤪
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dancingcarlos and that's on actually auditioning for Taylor
yourgirlash u rocked that audition tho! So proud of u :))
I smiled at all the supporting comments and began eating my pizza, which I got out of the oven without burning my hands.
what? I'm proud of me. I always burn my hands while getting the pizza out of the oven. That's why Ej is normally doing it when... I want pizza.
After eating half of the pizza, leaving the other half for Ej, I went upstairs. I threw my bag into a corner and threw myself on bed. I sighed and grabbed my ukulele. The next thing I knew was that I started playing some chords that popped into my head.
I was hangin' with you and then I realized
I didn't think it was true, I was surprised
When I found out I've fallen for you
I didn't wanna believe my feelings for you
I didn't wanna believe that I could lose you
If I told you just how I felt
But I can't help it
I'm falling for you
And I can't quit it
'Cause I'm stuck on you
And it might be pathetic and you might be skeptical
But I just want to be with you
Please tell me, boy
Can you get a clue?
Or come through 'cause I just want to be with you
,,The song is for him right?''
I gasped in surprise and turned my head to the door to see EJ leaning against my door frame, eating the pizza I left for him.
,,When did you come home?'' I asked while placing the ukulele on the floor. He walked towards me and sat on the edge of my mattress.
,,5 minutes ago but stop trying to change the subject. The song is for Ricky right?''
I just nodded, looking at my hands.
,,It's cute.''
,,What?'' I asked and looked up.
,,The song. It's cute. I mean I don't really support the idea of you and him together, you know that but I like the song.''
,,Thank you and don't worry EJ, him and me? That won't happen. He's still in love with Nini.'' I responded with a sad smile.
,,I know this may sound really awful but maybe it's just not meant to be.''
Maybe he was right. Maybe the universe wanted to show me that it just wasn't meant to be. That I was chasing a dream. Ricky was so in love with Nini and to be honest I wasn't surprised. Nini was such a sweet and gorgeous girl, always have been. It's so easy to fall in love with her. No wonder my brother did.
I nodded and the only word that left my mouth was:,,Maybe.''
EJ flashed me a smile, patted my shoulder and left the bedroom. I sighed and my head hit the pillow.
The next day was pretty much uneventful.
Ok maybe that's a lie. I did catch Nini spying on Carlos and Ricky in the library. That's a good thing right?
When I opened the door to the auditorium, everything was silent. But as soon as the door closed and I leaned my back on the wall, someone started playing the piano. The curiosity got the best of me and I walked up the stage to see who was playing the wonderful melody. I was quite surprised to discover Ashlyn sitting in front of the piano, pressing the keys softly.
,,Oh hi.'' was the first thing she said when she noticed my presence.
,,Hi. I didn't know anyone was in here.'' I answered looking at my cousin, who took her hands off the piano keys.
,,I can be gone in like 7 seconds. Six if I don't zip my bag.'' She replied as she started to throw her things into her bag.
,,No, Ash. Don't go. What was that?''
,,What was what?'' she asked and stopped packing her things.
,,The song you were just playing.''
,,Oh that. Miss Jenn asked me to compose a song for my character. It's probably way too much.'' she explained and grabbed the notes out of her bag again. I just nodded and listen to her ramble. I didn't really know why she was so nervous.
,,Why don't you play me some more of your song?'' I asked and sat down beside her. Ashlyn nodded and started playing the same melody I heard when the door closed.
,,Seems like a part of me will always have to lose.'' She began, her eyes watching her fingers which were pressing down the piano keys.
,,Every single time I have to choose
Swore that it felt right, but was I wrong?
Is this where I'm supposed to be at all?
I don't have the answers, not today
It's like nothing makes the questions go away
What I'd give to see If the grass was greener
On the other side
Of all I've had and lost
Would it be enough
Or would I still be wondering?'' she sang, her eyes still trained on the piano.
,,If I could go back and change the past
Be a little braver than I had
And bet against the odds
Would I still be lost?
Even if I woke up in my dreams
Would there still be something I'm missing?
If I had everything Would it mean anything?''
I looked at her in awe. I never really heard Ashlyn sing like that before and she had so much talent. She turned her gaze to me for a second, implying to sing with her. I smiled and turned my attention to the little sheet of paper in front of me.
,,Maybe I should turn around and take the other road
Or maybe I'm just looking for what I already know.'' we sang together, smiling after realizing that we hit every note in perfect harmony.
,,I'm just wondering...
It feels like I might have broke the best thing that I had.'' I sang alone and at that exact moment, Ricky slowly walked in. We didn't notice though. We were to caught up in our own little moment.
,,I said too much to ever take it back
I'm scared I'll never find something as good
And would I even know it if I could?'' I vocalized the verse Ashlyn wrote so flawlessly.
,,If I could go back and change the past
Be a little braver than I had
And bet against the odds
Would I still be lost?
Even if I woke up in my dreams
Would there still be something I'm missing
If I had everything
Would it mean anything.'' we both sang again.
,,To me?'' I finished and smiled. My smile fell as soon as I saw Ricky standing in the room.
,,Uh...We're back.'' he stuttered and looked at us with semi-wide eyes.
,,What?'' I asked quietly.
,,Downstairs.'' the curly-haired boy answered and shook his head slightly which made his curls bounce a little.
,,Miss Jenn wants to see everyone in the bomb shelter.'' he finished and left without saying another word. I looked at Ashlyn and she just shrugged before she got up and packed her things. Me being the incredible cousin I am, I waited for her.
When we arrived downstairs the whole theater group was building a small circle around the blonde drama teacher who had a huge carton in front of her.
,,Here it is, people.'' Miss Jenn breathed out, holding a small device in her hands.
,,Is that a garage-door opener?'' Seb asked as he looked at the small object in front of him.
,,No, Seb. This is Gabriella's Phone. From the film.''
A few students gasped.
,,I plan on creating a time-capsule display in our lobby. If they can have 40 sports-ball trophies, we deserve a little movie museum.'' the teacher explained, holding up the phone so everyone could see.
,,Okay, people, enough dazzle. Fetch your scripts please. Places for the top of the ski lodge!''
#hsmtmts#ricky bowen#hsmtmts fanfic#rini#rina#ej caswell#ashlyn caswell#gina porter#masterlist#nini salazar roberts#seblos#hsmtmts imagines#peachybowen#peter parker#marvel#descendants#teen wolf#Miss Jenn#joshua bassett imagines#matt cornett#julia lester#olivia rodrigo#frankie rodriguez#ricky bowen imagines#ricky bowen x reader
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Refuge at Last : Chap 4
Warnings: Nightmare, panic attack, anxiety, ptsd, implied/referenced child abuse, hurt/comfort feels
He was back at the Refuge. So much pain he could barely move. A hand grabbed his arm and dragged him from his bunk. He hit the ground. The Delancey brothers leered at him. Bigger and somehow uglier than last time. They kicked him. Again and again, jeering all the while. He curled up and covered his ears. He wished himself far away.
Suddenly, they stopped. He looked up. He was alone. Still at the Refuge. Nauseating hunger washed over him. The pain in his stomach grew worse and worse. It was unbearable. He began to cry.
The Delanceys were back. The Spider was with them. They had his crutch. The Spider raised it over his head. What goes up must come down. Again, again, again. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t scream, couldn’t call for help. One more hit. A loud ‘crack’. The crutch was broken in two. The Spider dropped it. The Delanceys walked away with the Spider. Laughter rang in his ears.
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Miles sat up on his mat, wondering what had woken him up. He listened for a moment before realizing. Jesse was tossing and turning on the mat next to his, mumbling occasionally. Miles rolled his eyes. Of course, Jesse was an infamous sleeptalker. He rolled over, trying to go back to sleep when he listened more closely.
“No, not the crutch, please, stop.” Miles had only heard Jesse that desperate once before and that was when he was bargaining for Winnie’s life. Immediately, he sat up, determined to wake his brother. He reached out and shook Jesse’s shoulder.
Jesse shot up, looking around wildly. The moment he caught sight of Miles, he scrambled to get as far away as he could. His back hit the wall and he curled up, shaking, with his head in his arms.
Miles was frozen in shock. The Jesse he knew was hardly afraid of anything. Even before they learned that they couldn’t die, Jesse was always the one to play chicken with a charging bull or do a backflip off the roof of the henhouse.
Miles crawled across the floor to Jesse, who didn’t seem to notice anything around him. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. It was big brother time. He moved so that he was sitting right beside Jesse so as not to scare him more and reached out to put a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder.
That was the wrong thing to do. Jesse froze and his breathing quickened, if such a thing were possible. Miles hastily removed his hand and switched tactics.
“Jesse, it’s alright. Look at me. You’re safe, it was just a dream.” After a few minutes of Miles’ coaxing, Jesse finally started to relax. His breathing slowed and he stopped shaking as much.
“Good, look at me. Do you know where you are?” he asked. He had known a few people who, when they had nightmares, wouldn’t know where they were.
Jesse peeked out from his arms and looked around the room with wide, panicked eyes, searching for something familiar. “I’m... I’m at home.” he said breathlessly.
“That’s right. And is there anything here that will hurt you?”
“No” Jesse sighed. He slumped against Miles, drained. They sat in silence for a while, Miles gently rubbing his back.
“You know what we need?” Miles asked quietly. “Hot chocolate. How’s that sound?” Jesse only nodded in response.
“Aaaaaallllllllright, up we get.” he grunted after Jesse made no move to get up. He helped him limp over to and down the ladder, grabbed the crutch, and climbed down himself. They snuck into the kitchen and Miles put a pot of milk on the stove.
While it was heating, Miles observed his brother. He was sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over and his eyes darting every which way. He looked nervous and paranoid. That wouldn’t do at all. The Jesse he knew was loud and obnoxious at all times and was never nervous about anything.
Miles had a sinking feeling he knew what was wrong. He had seen it in his father after he had fought in the Revolutionary War and in his mother after she killed the Man in the Yellow Suit. He had even seen it in himself after 1812, the Civil War, and the Mexican-American War. Jesse had clearly been through Hell and back and had no idea how to deal with it. Well, he knew from experience, the best way to start fixing yourself was to let others help you. And that meant talking... to people. Oh joy.
He took the milk off of the burner before it could boil over. He mixed up the two mugs of fragrant, steaming nectar from heaven and brought them over to the table. Setting one down in front of himself and the other in front of Jesse, he sat down and looked his brother in the eye.
“We need to talk,” he said, getting right to the point. “It’s kinda obvious to everyone that you’ve had something of a rough decade.” Jesse snorted at this. “And that you’ve developed some issues because of it. I just want you to know that everyone in this house has had similar issues and we want to help you. We can’t help you if you don’t talk to us though. I know it’s hard but you need to trust me on this.”
Jesse sat for a minute, stirring his cocoa and thinking. On the one hand, he trusted Miles and knew that he knew what he was talking about, remembering what his brother was like just after his first battle. The nightmares and anxiety were eating him alive and Miles had dealt with all of that before.
On the other hand, the Refuge was not the same as a battlefield. Fighting a battle was scary and horrible but it was also honorable and proved one to be strong. The Refuge was just a place where one got picked on for any misdeed. The only way to get out was to survive and not fight back. There was no honor or strength or glory in that, only cowardice.
Eventually though, he decided that if he was going to live forever, he didn’t want to carry his baggage around for all eternity. He could prove himself later.
They ended up talking until the early hours of the morning, just before their mother got up. Jesse told Miles all about the Refuge. The beatings, the lack of food, the vermin, the close quarters.
He also talked about the strike and his newsie friends. Jack, Davey, Les, Race, Albert. And the hijinx they got up to. Like throwing rotten fruit at mean cops and seeing how many ladies they could flirt with every day.
Miles gave Jesse tips on how to cope with his nightmares and curb his anxiety. He also constantly reinforced the notion that he could go to anyone in their family for advice or even just to vent.
Jesse hated reliving the abuse he endured, feeling that it was cowardly and pathetic, but Miles threw that notion right out of the window. He told him that endurance was one of the hardest things to do, especially in conditions where there is a clear person in charge to fight against.
After all was said and done, Jesse was surprised to find that he felt a little bit lighter. He knew that he would never be the same again, but for the first time in a long time, he felt hopeful. He had found refuge, real refuge, at last.
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AN: WOOOO! It’s finally done! I kind of experimented with a different writing style for the nightmare that I found on Pinterest like, a gazillion years ago. Short and fragmented sentences to convey a sense of surrealism and horror. I think it worked pretty well.
I’m done with this story. It took me like, three years and as good as it turned out, I. Am. Done. Hope you enjoyed!
#refuge at last#last chapter#tuck everlasting#miles tuck#jesse tuck#jesse is crutchie#the refuge#child abuse tw#ptsd tw#panic attack tw#im so done#i was obsessed with tuck for three months#now i cant stay on it for more than three days#good brother!miles
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A Worthy Life
This is a submitted story, writer wishes to remain Anonymous. Credit to the anon, this is not my work. (A story with Satan)
Inspired by true events.
~A Worthy Life~
Satan never thought of humans as something special to him. He neither liked nor disliked them. He only regarded them as fragile beings that have shorter lifespan and more vulnerable than demons like him. However, his view changed after that encounter. It all started when Satan had to go to the human world again after he begrudgingly received another troublesome task from the asshole Lucifer.
As usual, after he finished the task, Satan chose to spend his remaining time by reading his book in the local park. He was still in the middle of reading when he heard a faint meowing sounds from the bushes behind him. “Hm? Oh, hey there kitty kitty~ are you alone? Come here, I won’t harm you,” Satan closed his book and reached out his hand to the kitten, but that only made the kitten more frightened and ran away from Satan. “Uh- hey wait!” Satan decided to chase after the kitten. He was concerned with how dirty and frail the kitten looked.
Satan didn’t even notice where he was going or which road he took while he was chasing the kitten, but in the end, he managed to catch the kitten. “Hey come on- stay still. I just want to check and treat you.” Satan said as he lifted the kitten to inspect for any wound.
“Let go of my cat! You evil ugly blondie head!” Satan was surprised to see a little boy standing in front of him. ‘Where did this brat sprout from?’ Satan wondered. “Were you talking to me cheeky brat?” Satan asked in an irritated tone.
“No, I was talking to the garbage can. Of course, I was talking to you panini head. Now give me back my cat!” the boy shouted and stomped on Satan’s foot. “YOU-“ Satan almost snap and go demon mode before a woman appeared from across the street; visibly looking panic. “Vian! Where have you been?! You know I was worried sick looking for you! You shouldn’t be out in your condition!”
Satan turned his attention to the woman. “Is this rude brat your kid? Or perhaps your little brother? Maybe teaching him some manners would help” Satan said as he put on his usual fake smile; trying to keep every last bit of his self-control. “I’m truly sorry! Please forgive him. He isn’t my son or my brother but I feel responsible for taking care of him.” The woman pleaded with teary eyes.
“Don’t be mean to missy! She is the only one who cares for me. And you! Give me back my ca-ugh” the boy suddenly doubled over and coughed violently. “Vian-“ the woman immediately carried the boy and excused herself; leaving Satan alone. Satan could only stare. Dumbfounded. ‘Tch, humans are so fragile’ was the only thought that crossed his mind.
He glanced down at the kitten and felt a bit responsible. The boy got agitated because of him after all and besides, he just realized that he…is kinda lost. He didn’t know his way back, he also wanted to return the cat so he decided to join them.
The woman thanked Satan once they settled into the woman’s house, “Thank you for returning the cat, Mr. Sam. And once again I offer you my sincerest apologies on his behalf. He…has a hard time trusting new people,” Satan could only listen to the woman while he stared at the little boy who was already asleep. Satan was still annoyed, but the boy looked pathetic in his eyes so he decided to just let bygones be bygones. He won’t go as far as avenging someone way weaker than him, especially not a puny defenseless little human.
“I bet he is really a handful for everyone isn’t he?” Satan noticed there was something wrong when the woman looked quite offended when he asked that. “This is quite a sensitive issue. Especially for Vian. Vian is actually a good boy. But everyone reject him, even his parents, because of his chronic disease. Most people still believe the disease he is suffering from is extremely the contagious one and should be avoided at all costs. That’s why he always put on a brave front because he immediately thinks that everyone hates him.”
Satan fell quiet with an unreadable expression and only then the woman realized she was spilling too much information to a stranger. “Ah, I’m sorry, I’m blabbering too much. Uh you previously said you need me to show you the way to train station right? I’ll guide you there.” Satan put on his trademark smile again. “Very well, thank you for your assistance.”
—
It was already a few days since Satan returned to the Devildom, but something was bugging his mind since then. ‘Ugh that brat. Maybe I’m still annoyed with him after all? Maybe I should avenge him? Wait, no. That time was different. I didn’t sense any malicious intent from him. In fact, I only sensed…fear? Sadness? Anger? Hurt?’
Meanwhile, Mammon who was counting stolen his money across from Satan could see it clearly how distraught Satan had become. “Yo! Is there somethin’ wrong? Ya have been puttin’ on serious scary face but ya seem stuck at the same page of your book.” Satan finally snapped and retorted back; venting his anger toward Mammon. “Uh- shut up. If you are looking for what’s ‘wrong’ then you can try putting your face in front of a mirror and you’ll see what’s wrong.”
“Geez calm that temper will ya? You’re more salty than usual that means there’s somethin’ up with you. Well, I don’t know and I don’t really care but if ya want to do somethin’ you should just act by what you really desire. You’re a demon and yet you think too much before even following your desir- oops that’s my cue to go, adieu!” Mammon immediately bolted out from the room as soon as Satan gave death-glare to him. “Damn it. I guess I’ll just go. I can check up on the cat. Yes, that’s the only valid reason,” Satan tried to reason to himself.
After he managed to get Lucifer’s permission, Satan came back to the human world. It was a good thing he still remembered the way to that boy’s house.
“Ah! You are the yellow-head catnapper from before!” the boy already jumped to his defensive mode as soon as he saw Satan in front of the house. “Vian, please be polite, I already told you he was only trying to tend to Bobby.” the woman lightly scolded the boy.
“Ahaha that’s right. You should listen to your missy, cheeky brat,” Satan plastered his usual fake smile, but he didn’t feel as annoyed as before.
“Don’t call me that! My name is Vian! Missy, you are wrong! That yellow-head is an absolute meanie!” Vian ran up behind the woman.
“You are calling me with weird names so why can’t I also call you with one too?” Satan smirked. He was satisfied. He felt like he won an argument.
“Come on Vian. You shouldn’t judge someone immediately like that. I’m sure he is a…nice gentleman. Although a little petty-minded?” The woman added the last words only in her thought. “As proof, he was trying to help Bobby right?” the woman tried to reassure Vian. “And Mr. Sam, is there something I can help you with?” the woman asked.
“Oh err right. This may sound out of the blue, but I came by just to make sure if the cat is all right. I’m quite confident in my knowledge about animal anatomy so I thought I can offer you some help since your cat looked a bit unwell the last time I saw it,” Satan said; trying to find a strong excuse. It’s partially true that he was concerned about the cat, but he felt like there is another thing he was more concerned about and Satan still wouldn’t admit that the boy was part of his concern.
“Oh, my. Really? Actually, you are quite right. I’ve been trying to tend to it but I think my effort alone is not enough so I’m grateful for your help. Please come in. Vian please wait here and keep Mr. Sam accompany while I go fetch Bobby, okay?” The woman said before she went off to another room; leaving Vian alone with Satan.
Now that they are alone, Satan could sense the nervousness and confusion emanated from the boy more clearly. “Why are you helping my cat? Or more like why do you still bother to come here?” The boy finally broke the silence with a low voice, almost as a whisper.
“Hmm? I see you still have the guts to talk. With how you look now I was sure you’ve turned into a stone, but I see you still want to talk and ask me before throwing anymore accusation at me again?” Satan showed his exasperation passive-aggressively with his smile. The boy instantly felt guilty. “I- I’m sorry.” The boy was on the verge of tears while saying that.
“Uh- okay, okay apology accepted. Anyway, why do you think it’s weird for someone to come here and offer help?” Satan quickly went back on the topic and decided not to intimidate the boy any longer. It would be troublesome for him to handle a crying child.
“Didn’t missy already told you? I- I’m different. I’m different from everyone. Everyone is healthy and I’m..not. Because of my disease, everyone around me never thinks of me as a worthy one. They only see me as something bad and they all avoid me. At least I still have missy who can still accept me.” The boy looked crushed when he explained it.
At that moment Satan felt like the boy would crumble into dust and gone at any given moment. There were also that sharp pangs tugging his heart. It was a very unfamiliar feeling for Satan. He gave it a moment, but he still couldn’t put a name into that new feeling.
Satan was speechless until the woman came back. “I’m sorry to make you wait. Here’s Bobby.” The woman said while holding the kitten. “Please lie it down in here. I’ll check it.” Satan began to dutifully check the kitten. It didn’t take long for Satan to pinpoint the problems. “Yes, your cat is sick. I have the remedy for the cat, but I need a few days to gather it. I’ll come back when it’s finished. Until then, please keep your cat hydrated, clean, and fed well. Luckily, I brought some special wet cat foods. You can feed it with these.” Satan said before leaving. Satan smile when the woman thanked him, however, his eyes were more focused on the boy who only kept silent.
—
Back in the Devildom Satan prepared the remedy faster than expected. Preparing it wasn’t a problem for him. What troubled him was the weird feeling he got that day. He wasn’t sure at first, but after he gave it more thought he got some idea. ‘Maybe, just maybe I can relate to that brat?’ Satan thought to himself. They are both very different. He is a demon, a high-ranked demon and that boy is a human, just a powerless little human. However, there was one thing in common and Satan only came to that conclusion after he was finally sure of what he sensed from the brat. It was mostly a feeling of insecurity.
Satan hates to admit it, but he is aware of his own insecurities. How he felt he needed to prove himself, his worth, so his existence won’t merely be seen as someone else’s shadow. While that boy, even if that boy struggles over a different thing, Satan could see the boy also wanted to be seen as someone worthy, as he really is, not as something else, especially not as a weakness.
Since he started to realize it, a new desire started to grow on Satan. Satan didn’t want to take Mammon’s word, but that time, he just followed on his desire. A desire to support that one little fleeting life.
Satan began to rummaged through his pile of books; trying to find any explanation and cure for the said disease. Satan was devastated when he found out there was still no cure that can completely heal the boy’s disease. “AARGH! Damn it! Can’t I really do something about it?! Satan threw his book away in frustration. Satan didn’t know what else to do. For the first time he felt powerless and his demon power won’t do any good. In the end he went to the human world again with a heavy heart.
—
“Welcome, Mr. Sam. Thank you for sparing your time to come here again.” The woman welcomed Satan as he arrived.
“I already promised that I would come here again so it’s only normal if I keep my words, right? And here, you can feed the cat with this medicine” Satan flashed his smile when he handed the medicine to the woman, but his eyes were busy scanning the room. “Is the boy not with you today?” The woman looked hesitated to answer when Satan asked her. “Ah, you mean Vian? He is resting in his room now. His condition is worsening again.”
The woman then looked at Satan with a pleading look. “Umm I know it would be rude of me to ask a request to someone I just know recently, but could I ask for your help to look after Vian for a while? There’s no one else I could ask for help and I need to go buy medicine and some supplies for Vian. Also I believe you are a good person, so, please?”
Satan gave it a thought. There’s no harm in helping her and he is also curious with the boy’s condition. “Sure, I’ll help. Don’t worry about it.” Satan said. The woman thanked Satan and showed Vian’s room, after that she went off to buy things.
Satan sat beside the bed where the boy sleep in. Satan could only look at the boy’s face in silence. ‘He looks paler than before. What could’ve happened to him while I was away?’ When Satan was lost in his thought, the boy suddenly shifted uncomfortably in his bed. He looked as if he was in agony. “O-oi! Brat?! What’s wrong? Wake up!” Satan gently nudge the boy, but panic was clear in his voice. He was afraid if the boy is in pain or having nightmare.
The boy’s eyes shot open, his breath was ragged. At first the boy didn’t notice Satan presence. It was Satan’s gentle voice and touch that brought the boy back to reality. “Are you ok now?” Satan asked; genuinely worried. He was never this worried over someone else before, not even to his brothers.
The boy couldn’t process anything. He only covered his face; trying to muffle his cries. “Oi, come on. You should tell me what’s wrong. I won’t know unless you tell me.” Satan kept urging the boy to speak; his hand rubbing the boy’s head in an attempt to soothe the boy.
“I-I’m s-sorry. I just had a-a bad dream.” The boy said with a hoarse voice. Satan handed the boy a glass of water and said, “here, drink this first, then tell me what was it about.”
There was only silence until the boy finally spoke. “I dreamt about it again. I was alone. Then I saw in the distance there were people. They were having fun and looked very happy. I wanted to get close to them to join them, but they immediately steered away from me. They only saw me with disgust. Then I heard they all talked badly about me. ‘He is different, he shouldn’t mingle with us.’ I always heard that same words.” A shed of tears streamed down the boy’s cheek as he retelling his dream.
Satan couldn’t take the heart-breaking sight. He brushed away the tears from the boy’s cheek gently with his finger; trying not to startle the boy. When he realized the worried look on Satan’s face, the boy quickly added, “umm sorry, please don’t worry about my silly dream. This is something I usually get when I feel down and sick.” The boy said. He tried to lighten up the mood and put up a smile.
But Satan won’t be fooled by something like that. “No, you shouldn’t say sorry. And about dreams, someone I know, well, my brother, once said that dreams are the manifestation of our subconscious mind. They are often influenced by our experiences and they reflect what we really feel about it and what we really want from it. So I wouldn’t think your dream as a silly one and you too, shouldn’t think of it as silly.” Satan held the boy’s hand in his. He put on a serious expression, but his touch was calming. The boy could feel the warmth from Satan’s touch and words. “You mentioned that you only got this dream when you feel down and sick. Care to tell me what happened? What triggered your dream?” Satan asked.
“Umm…so yesterday when I was strolling around with missy to take fresh air outside, there were some neighbors who shooed us away. They didn’t want us to get any closer to their house and said something about being ‘vile outcast or a ragtag bunch of misfit’. I don’t really understand what they meant, but missy wouldn’t explain it to me and she looked sad. So I think that must be something bad.” The boy was fiddling with his fingers as he told Satan what happened. Satan felt the anger inside him instantly rising up. He wanted to throw curse words and go hunt the culprit right there and then, but that time, he knew the boy needed him more.
Satan took a deep breath; trying to calm himself before he began to talk. “Listen, I won’t hide anything. I’ll be honest and tell you everything you need to know and hear. You are right. Those huma- I mean people are talking bad about you. BUT, those people are wrong. People who can only oppress the weaker and can’t try to understand the others are the real trash, not you or your missy.”
The boy looked like he was going to cry again. He thought only his missy can try to understand and give him the support he needed. He already gave up on his wish to be accepted by other people, but he knew deep down he still yearns to be accepted and recognized. And here he found another person who can understand and support him.
Seeing the boy started to cry again, Satan gave the boy a hug and patted his back. “I may only know you just recently and I may regard you as cheeky brat the first time I met you. But after knowing more about you I think you worth more than you ever think, more than other people think. Wait, scratch that. You are more worthy than those people who can’t see your worth. Those people have no place to decide your worth because you are the only one who can decide your worth. So, for now, you shouldn’t worry about being liked or not. Those who see you as you are and appreciate you will still like you and grow together with you. That means if you are doing something right they will support you and if you are doing something wrong they will help you to correct your way. You have your missy and Bobby that can support and help you. And now you also have uh…me at your side.” Satan said the last words with faint blush dusted on his cheeks.
“Ahem, do you understand it now, Vian?” Satan released Vian from his hug. Vian was moved by what Satan said so he eagerly nodded his head, he felt better after hearing that.
“Good.” Satan smiled. Satisfied with Vian’s reaction. He then ruffled Vian’s hair playfully until the Vian feels irritated. “Ughh…stop it!” Vian swatted Satan’s hand from his hand. Satan didn’t take Vian’s act as offensive at all. In fact, he was pleased. “There you go. I like it more when you show that fiery spirit. Remember, you don’t have to worry too much. You won’t know what the future has in store for you. I’m pretty sure you’ll find your own place to be happy and when you do find it remember your hard time as a lesson. That way you won’t fall into the same level as those trash people.” Satan smiled again, but that time it was a genuine smile.
His smile then shifted into a low key malicious one. “And if anyone dares to talk or do something awful to you, just tell me. I’ll make it certain that I will pay them a visit and give them a ‘lecture’ or two.”
Vian, who didn’t really understand the hidden meaning behind Satan’s choice of word with ‘lecture’ could only agree. “Um, okay! Pinky promise!” Vian said. He showed his pinky finger to Satan.
Satan was a bit confused at first, but then the boy showed Satan how it’s done. A new warm feeling began to spring inside Satan. It was different from the usual hot boiling sensation he felt whenever he is angry. This new feeling was very pleasant for Satan. “Ahahaha, you are really something aren’t you” Satan laughed. At that moment Satan had decided that keeping Vian’s life as a worthy one is something he can do. Meanwhile, Vian only tilted his head. Confused by what Satan meant or why Satan laughed.
“It’s a bit too late to ask, but umm since when you were here?” Vian asked Satan. He just realized his missy is not with him. “Oh, your missy is out to buy things and ask me to stay with you while she’s out.” Satan explained everything that happened before.
“Brat, do you want to hear some interesting stories?” Satan suddenly wanted to tell some stories. Satan was thinking about telling stories from some books he had read before, but maybe he can also use his brothers’ shenanigans as a bad example.
“Hey, stop calling me that, or do you want me to call you with weird names again?” Vian pouted. “Ahahah, sorry that name kinda stick with you. And actually, I don’t care anymore if you call me with anything weird. I know you don’t really mean it.” Satan said jokingly, but he really didn’t mind it since the boy is special to him now.
“Sorry, I’m late. Oh, you’re awake already Vian? Thank you for your help, Mr. Sam.” The woman said when she returned home. She noticed the cheerful look on Vian’s face and that was the first time he ever showed such look in front of someone else other than her and that also made her happy. “Missy, missy, come join us! Yello- I mean mister said he wants to tell us some stories.” Vian excitedly called her. They all gathered and enjoyed their precious moment.
END
Thank you to the individual who i can not name, for submitting this good read.
To anyone who reads this, and is inspired to write, you too can submit to this blog if you wish to be Anonymous. It doesnt just have to be about Satan, it could be about anything.
Thank you x - Ty the Mun
Satan: .... Please kittens do submit, we enjoy reading all stories you write to us.
#anonymous#fanfic#inspired by true events#satan loves to read#mun too loves to read#we are here to use our blog to showcase your work as well#one love#story time#orphans#worthy life#relatable#obey me!#obey me! satan#obey me! shall we date?
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