#where my unstable girlies at | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr was attacked by a cross-site scripting worm deployed by the Internet troll group GNAA on Dec 3, 2012.

#where my unstable girlies at

folklaurr · 9 months

Text

Just came across a Dean Winchester Orange Juice fanfic and no I will not be reading it

#I SCREAMED #I might actually have to read it #I know it’s gonna hurt #where my emotionally unstable orange juice girlies at?#noah kahan

2 notes · View notes

sparklingspite · 8 months

Text

leg hair no care *ascends to leg hair heaven*

#is this something #i’m not high i’m just mentally unstable #where my hair leg girlies and enbies at

0 notes

ash-says · 2 months

Text

Things to be aware of as a Hopeless Romantic:

We all have been there daydreaming about the perfect man, the perfect life, the perfect whatever,etc. Still life is not full of roses and thorns are inevitable.

So here are some aspects to look out for according to me so that you won't fall in the delulu is the only solulu trap.

Remember if you follow me, we don't do regrets here. We accept, take accountability and move on. We don't soak ourselves in problems. We solve them effectively.

1) Drop those rose-colored glasses. Crush them under your feet and now look at the world again. Learn to accept reality. It is what it is. Not what you make it out to be. Learn to become an observer of your life from time to time. It will give you the real picture.

2) Potential is useless if you are not leveraging it. It's a trap both for yourself and others. You see potential in him of changing and being a good guy?? Girl, he *IS* not a good guy. It's not your job to raise a man. It's embarrassing. Stop babysitting grown men.

3) Standards are important but ensure they are not rooted in fantasy. Let's be honest finding a man who is rich, dark, tall, sexy and talks in the way you read in your romance novels is difficult. I am not saying it's impossible but don't be too rigid. All I will say is make sure you are also on the level where if you come across such a man he should be ready to date you.

4) Men view sex differently than us women. I know many of you will get triggered after reading this but the majority of men really view women as sex dolls. Blame the porn industry maybe. Good men exist but not every other man who talks sweetly is good.

5) A person in your life treats you nicely. Always talk sweetly, tells you that you matter to them but their actions don't match it. Chances are you are being breadcrumbed. Plans being cancelled? Messages being unseen? But when confronted all you get is,"Sorry love, I was busy. I was going to do it. You matter a lot,etc etc." Breadcrumbing. Be smart it can happen even in friendships too. I understand people get busier with time and things do happen. Use your discernment to see who really is busy and who is faking to be busy.

6) That uncle was so kind to me. He talked to me sweetly and always tried to help me out. Now, that's really sweet of him. Next he calls you home to help out with the household chores and he is alone at home because his wife is out of town for some work. Would you go and help? Yes. Will you go alone? No. That's unsafe.

No matter how much a gentleman a man appears to be you are not allowed to be in a situation where he could potentially take advantage of you. You always bring along a friend or deny it. I know it's wrong to not help someone but at your own risk. No. Never. It's common knowledge in our society.

7) Dreaming of a Prince Charming to whisk you away from all your troubles??? Dream on. The idea that a soulmate or one person will magically solve all our issues is dumb. We as human beings add to each other's happiness rather than becoming the core of it.

8) One of the biggest mistakes I have seen girls around me make is of being fully invested in a relationship to the point one small fight makes them depressed. That's codependency. It's unhealthy.

9) Never make your relationship your identity. You should always have a separate identity out of it. Stop curating yourself for your partners. Morphing yourself according to their likes and dislikes. That's one way ticket to an identity crisis after breakup. Compromises are essential but changing your core self??? Crazy shit.

10) Your relationship should not be the reason for your downfall. It happens especially with my intense girlies we invest so much of ourselves in the relationship to the point it becomes our focal point and when it faces upheavals we are devastated. The mental distress starts flowing in other areas of your life and suddenly your grades are falling, your career seems unstable, etc. Develop the emotional strength to compartmentalize your emotions and not allow them to overflow in other areas and affect them.

Imagination is fertile but being delusional is being stuck in a swamp.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

391 notes · View notes

thesummerpetrichor · 1 year

Text

𝓞𝓯𝓯 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓼

Javier Peña x afab!reader

Summary: You’re a sociology student writing your final thesis, you shouldn’t care whether the new DEA attaché is an asshole, you shouldn’t be getting on his nerves every chance you get, shouldn’t be dreaming of him the way you do, and you certainly shouldn’t be bent over his desk in the middle of the night– letting him fuck you senseless.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI you will be blocked. Mentions of DEA, big girthy age gap [reader is in her early twenties Javier is in his mid 40s], petnames [sweetheart, girlie, baby, babygirl etc], smut, explicit sexual content, explicit language, daddy kink, dom!Javi, mean brat tamer! javi, sub!reader, major size kink, reader is a menace and a brat, cheek pulling, like two spanks and a slap, minor choking, degradation, name calling, fingering, semi public sex [in his office], rough sex, unprotected P in V [don't do it you’re better than them!!] let me know if I missed anything!!

Word count: 8.7k

A/N: Lotsa porn, lotsa plot. Filthier than I’d like to admit but here we are. Javier is emotionally unavailable but I don’t care. Enjoy nasties. Mwah 💗

Masterlist

My old man is a bad man, but

I can't deny the way he holds my hand

And he grabs me, he has me by my heart

He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past

He doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me

He loves me, with every beat of his cocaine heart

You were sure you looked nothing short of unstable– the way you were smiling to yourself as you hit the ‘submit’ button on the first checkpoint of your research paper. The past few months had been absolute chaos, and you weren’t really sure what was worse; the fact that your workplace had become an HR nightmare, or the way you were enjoying every goddamn second of it.

Not long ago you’d been lucky enough to pack your bags and board a flight to Bogotá, where you were going to be writing your final sociology thesis. You’d fought tooth and nail with the department for this opportunity, and the fact that you were finally going to be there doing the work you’d always imagined– it was a dream. While you were initially a little weary of having to go through the American embassy to access records, and archives, you knew this was the best deal you were going to get, so you pushed your hesitation aside and took them up on their offer. You were obviously aware the department was going to give you hell for it– your work would be put under immeasurable scrutiny, they were going to bother you with emails all day every day, snoop around your work through their contacts at the embassy, and take any chance to fly you back. But it didn’t matter; it was going to be a dream.

Impressing the ambassador was your top priority, impressing everyone around you really was. For as long as you could remember your bright smile, hard work and sunshine attitude had only worked in your favor. If there was one thing you enjoyed, it was the great privilege of being all your professors’ favorite student. That’s how you’d even convinced them to let you travel thousands of miles away on the university’s dime in the first place.

The world of academia was hard, especially when you were starting out, everyone you dealt with wasn’t a progressive professor who valued your opinion despite your age and gender. Sometimes you needed help from the sleazy HOD, or the grumpy receptionist and neither cared about your expertise on Helmut Schoeck. It didn’t bother you, all you cared about was the quality of your work, and you were not going to let anyone get in the way of it. So, if good work and behaviour didn't get you what you wanted you just used your batting eyelashes, innocent pout and harmless bribes– the receptionist had mentioned liking strawberry shortcake nearly two years ago in passing, and that information sure as hell came in handy when you needed to get your paperwork sorted out.

Boy did that skill of yours come in handy during your time in Bogotá

No one was going to make this experience anything but splendid, you were going to get to the embassy, meet the ambassador, charm her and all her coworkers in no time, make some trusted allies and go about your research unbothered and unfazed. You were determined. It was going to be a dream.

That was until it was an absolute nightmare. The moment your plane’s wheels hit the tarmac you were slapped with wave after wave of absolute frustration. Your phone was inundated with missed calls from an unknown number, and when you called back you were promptly informed by the Ambassador’s secretary that due to spacing issues you were being relocated to the DEA offices at the far end of the embassy.

Great, nothing better than being around a bunch of cops 24/7 .

You hadn’t made it three steps off the aerobridge before two men– both of whom looked terribly out of place in their baseball hats, grabbed you by the arm and dragged you through the airport. You wouldn’t say the word ‘accosted’ was dramatic when describing the way two employees of the American embassy had apprehended you. They didn't seem much older than you were, but they sure as hell thought they ran the damn place. When you thought about elitist diplomats thinking they were doing god's work you could be sure you imagined Agent Daniel Van Ness and Agent Chris Feistl’s faces before you’d even met them.

“Ow! What the hell do you think you're doing?!” Van Ness pretty much tossed you into his suspicious, unmarked vehicle, and as if you weren’t sore from your excruciatingly long flight you were sure you were going to need some ice packs when you got to your service apartment. “Okay, let's not make a scene, as I said we were told to get you as soon as you got off that plane” Feistl started the engine with one hand, and put the other one up in mock surrender.

“Didn’t know kidnapping was part of the Ambassador's agenda in Bogotá” .

The car ride to the embassy was mostly quiet, and you took the time to enjoy the beautiful Colombian city as it came into view, clear your head and mentally plan for your stay. That was, save for the two men’s grumbling about a certain Javier Peña. “Yeah, we miss this meeting and Peña’s gonna be on our ass for the next week” You’d quickly learnt he was a little bit of a hero in the DEA world, whatever that meant– took down Escobar and all. And if you couldn’t loathe him more already he was now promoted to attaché. From what Van Ness and Feistl told you he sounded like a character– hard ass, stubborn, insolent, the list went on and on. This Javier must really be something

How bad could he really be? Probably some grumpy old guy you’d run into once in a while at the water station or fax machine. He’d pay no mind to you; some irrelevant college student. Besides, you’d win him over with your signature smile. Who knew maybe you’d even become friends? “Well Im looking forward to meeting this Javier Peña”

“No one has ever said that. I don't think his mother said that when he was poppin’ out.”

And boy were they right, Javier Peña really was something. The elevator doors opened to what would soon become a familiar sight– Javier trailing the ambassador as she tried to escape him and the DEA offices. “With all due respect, if I wanted to be a babysitter I would've taken up a job with the RIPs” She turned to face him, her back to you. “Agent Peña, I'm going to repeat myself one more time, and I really shouldn't have to, but please stop referring to them as the “RIP’’s ”. Talk about professionalism, you definitely weren’t expecting whatever the hell this was when you thought of diplomatic work.

Noonan almost unceremoniously bumped into you as she skirted away from Javier, raising her hands in absolute elation now that he had to take care of you, and couldn’t bother her any longer. “There you are, perfect! Agent Peña show her around, and please, be nice.” She all but pushed you into him, and you heard Javier helplessly and pathetically yell after her as she walked to the elevator. “I still need that clearance ambassador–”

Despite the fact that he was looking at you like he wanted to tear you apart you didn't let that distract from the absolute marvel Javier Peña was. If you didn’t know any better you’d be on your knees for the man, and you couldn’t trust that you did. With the way his hair sat messily ruffled atop his head in soft curls, falling dangerously close to his eyes, or the way his now crinkled button up from the tiring workday hugged his forearms, who could blame you? Who knew, maybe you even liked the way he looked at you?

You shot him your signature smile, and extended your hand to introduce yourself. Forget about Noonan, she’d probably retire soon anyway, it was his approval you really wanted now. With brows raised he took his time assessing you. You didn’t miss the way his eyes raked over your body, or the way he chewed on his lip as he did so. Feeling a little, or maybe very, hot under his gaze you shifted uncomfortably, still holding your hand out politely, but all you got from him besides his shameless gawking was a condescending chuckle, and he was turning away and walking back inside.

So he really was an asshole.

You stood in shock for a moment. Was this some sort of odd hazing process at the embassy? What the hell was going on? His voice zapped you out of the absolute embarrassment of an interaction you just had. “You gonna stand there all day?” God he was such a prick. You’d barely been there two minutes and you were already on Van Ness and Feist's team. You couldn’t even imagine what life would be like if he was your boss. Or could you?

Your gaze hardened at the realization. If there was one thing you were not going to do it was lust hopelessly after a man who didn't even want to give you the time of day, someone who thought he was so much better than you were. You were not going to inflate his already massive ego by crooning for his praise, no! You were not going to let him wield that kind of power over you.

You watched as he walked through the office, the man sucked the air outta the room with the way he quite literally strutted across it. Practically dragging yourself behind him you tried your best to compose yourself, you were not going to let Peña and his asshole ways ruin your stay– he was going to like you, going to give you the time of day– and if hard work and a good attitude didn’t do it, your batting lashes certainly would.

—

Swimmin' pool glimmerin', darling

White bikini off with my red nail polish

Watch me in the swimmin' pool, bright blue ripples

You sittin', sippin' on your Black Cristal, oh, yeah

In the subsequent days you surprisingly had made yourself quite at home in the embassy– after all you did spend almost all of your day there. Van Ness and Fiestl soon became great friends, and would often drop by your workstation during breaks, or to invite you out for drinks after work. Things were going rather well, there was nothing much to complain about. The people who worked at the embassy were really friendly, and many of them took a liking to you. If charming your way into everyone's good graces was still your plan it sure as hell was working.

You’d even met a certain blonde haired, blue eyed office heartthrob. While they were both certainly easy on the eyes, Agent Murphy was otherwise little like his partner, he was friendly, helpful, and generally in a good mood. Hell he even wished you ‘good morning’ when he got into work everyday. In due time you could even say Steve Murphy had become somewhat of a friend, he was quite fond of you– then again everyone in the office really was.

That is almost everyone.

Progress in the Javier department of your life had barely made moves. He was such a dick. On your second day you remember knocking on his door and politely asking if he could sign some papers that would get you some cultural records in Bogotá. You didn’t know what response you’d been expecting, but he'd essentially told you to leave him the hell alone.

You wondered if being such a bitter jerk was exhausting. “Now girlie, runalong..” And with that he shut his door. You didn't want to let it affect you, but it did. You crooned for his attention, but he was so cold and detached, and nothing seemed to get through to him. The smiles, the ‘good mornings’, the way you’d offered to drop his files at the Ambassador's on your way there, it did nothing. He only smiled at you condescendingly, and at one point even joked about how he wasn’t sure you were capable of making it to the other side of the building.

“Don't worry your head about these files, wouldn’t want you wandering around, lost, tryna find Noonan’s office.”

Not to mention how he couldn’t keep his mouth shut about your “silly little paper”, how your work was “cute” or “funny”. God, you couldn’t stand it. The way he leaned over your desk, jumbled up your resources while he carelessly looked through them. With his messy, loose tie, and his sideways smile, and warm, comforting brown eyes, and that mocking teasing tone…...

—-

My old man is a tough man, but

He got a soul as sweet as blood-red jam

And he shows me, he knows me

Every inch of my tar-black soul

“If he can’t drink it, or fuck it, he’s not interested.” When Feistl had told you that on your first day you scoffed, but it proved to be valuable, and unbelievably, true information in no time. Unintentionally Javier had condemned himself to an eternal state of perdition, you were not giving up, and this time you were going to drive him crazy.

He surely wasn’t prepared for the little menace you became in the following weeks. You only felt pride when you’d catch him looking at you– embarrassing how he couldn't keep his eyes off. You and your cute little dresses, skirts, those you didn’t initially plan to wear to the office. His glare almost burnt a hole in your back everyday at midday, hotter than the afternoon sun peaking through the blind covered windows as you sat on Van Ness’ desk, laughing at something Feistl said. If there was one thing worse than an HR violation, it was an HR violation with a girl nearly half his age.

You’d found a fancy for discovering his ticks, new ways you could push his buttons. When you weren’t calling him sir as you addressed him, or taunting him with your dopey eyes and girlish smiles you were making his life a lot less convenient.

“Where the hell is Peña” at least twice a week Stechner would all but slither into the office, talking about congress people, funding and how the DEA was raining all over his parade. As much as you hated the man, he was your trusted ally in trying times, especially when you decided breaking the office’s unspoken rule was going to be your new favorite pastime. That rule was of course, never telling anyone, especially his colleagues, where the hell Javier Peña was at any given time.

So when Bill walked up to you and leaned beside your desk you faithfully pointed to the filing room you knew Javier was quite literally hiding in. When he walked, more like stormed out with Bill you were sure he could break you in half, the way he was looking at you, but you had given up lying to yourself, you loved it. Every morning he’d come into the office and have to find other places to escape to– from Noonan and Murphy and all other accountability. But for a cop he was pretty shit at it, and you always found a way to tell where it was he'd gone to. It also helped that nearly everyone enjoyed it when Javier had to deal with the bureaucracy, it was free reality tv, and you could be sure if you didn’t know who or what he was trying to avoid, someone else in the office surely would.

You had simultaneously become a great asset to Steve Murphy, who was, more than you expected, willing and enthusiastic about getting shit done, shit that Javier’s stubbornness would only prolong, especially because he knew the mix of Peña and the CIA was anything but productive. Whether it was distracting him while he got support for their missions, or rushing to answer the phones and covering for him and making Javi deal with Noonan you were always game. Murphy was always appreciative.

“Steve’s out right now, but Javier’s in his office if you’d like to speak with him…” Steve pretty much cackled behind his desk as you handed the phone’s receiver to Peña, and watched as he exhaled heavily through his nose, using every bit of restraint he could possibly muster not to kick the two of you out of the building. He settled for flipping Murphy off instead.

As someone who wasn’t an embassy employee you pretty much had free reign over the place, and you knew it only made Javier more upset knowing he couldn’t do anything about it. You were thoroughly enjoying your time in Bogotá, you knew Javier was thinking about you, you knew how much you got on his nerves, you loved the way he’d glare at you, boss you around, get annoyed at your little antics. You craved his attention and you were finally getting it.

Though every once in a while you’d feel a little pang in your chest, at the way he’d roll his eyes at you, be his regular mean self. But you shoved that feeling aside, you did not want his approval. That would be pathetic. You just wanted a little payback.

—

He doesn't mind I have a flat broke-down life

In fact, he says he thinks it's what he might like about me

Admires me, the way I roll like a rolling stone

Javier had been avoiding you like the plague for a good two days. That was after he overheard a conversation you were having with your supervisor he wasn’t really meant to be a party to. You remember twirling the cord wire between your fingers as you updated her over the phone. “Yeah, I need to get to the congress library, they have all the copies there.” You pushed the speaker button, letting go of the receiver to sift through the piles of printed paper on your desk. “Do you have access, did the embassy get you an ID? I spoke to Noonan but she’s busy babysitting her employees.” You bit back a smile. Javier and Murphy sure were a handful.

“No, of course they didn’t. They don’t give a rat's ass” Frankly, you were exhausted from having to get or find somebody to do anything around there. Noonan was practically no help until the dean was breathing down her neck, for people who had been working in Bogotà for years very few in the embassy knew the directions to anyplace that wasn’t a bar, and everyone was far too busy kissing each other’s ass to get things done. “The DEA can go, can't they? Get one of em to take you” Before you could respond you heard the rattling of the water cooler behind you, and you caught Javier’s half shocked half annoyed expression in the reflection of the window as he scrambled for a paper napkin to wipe the water off his dress shirt.

“Hmm, I didn’t think of that…..that's a great idea”

That was on Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday were spent turning in the opposite direction anytime you approached him, sneaking past you on his way in and out, and begging Murphy to take that trip to the Congress library instead. On Thursday you were sure you won the lottery.

Both Murphy and Carillo in the same room, and better yet in the office before Javier had made his grand entrance. They stood over what looked to you like a large map, arguing about something with far too much energy at eight in the morning. You saw this as your little opening. Where the hell was Peña?

Turns out he was with the Ambassador.

—-

Likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom, Château Marmont

Slippin' on my red dress, puttin' on my makeup

Glass room, perfume, cognac, lilac fumes

Says it feels like heaven to him

“And you’re going too?” Ambassador Noonan sat back in her chair, twirling her pencil between her fingers, looking expectantly at the irate face in front of her. You thought you’d spare Agent Peña his white lies, answering promptly in that sweet voice of yours. “Yes, Agent Murphy told me, and besides, if he's around I can access all the archives..” You shrugged your shoulders and shot her your most persuasive smile. “Government ID an’ all” . You almost felt bad for Peña, the way his friends were so quick to rat him out. But then again he’d stirred up enough petty fights over the years so that nearly everybody was quick to get their petty revenge. That jerk was planning to take his little trip to the library– with Carillio of all people, and he was going to leave you behind? Not anymore.

“Well, I don't see the problem, just take her to the goddamn library. Jesus Peña why is everything so difficult with you.” Javier shot you a glare you could only describe as deadly, but you could only giggle at his exasperation. He rose from his chair, leaning on her desk, like he was trying to seduce her into getting out of this situation. You wondered how Noonan showed so much restraint, if you were her you’d be giving into anything he said no questions asked.

“Ambassador, really, all that is below my paygrade, don't ya think?” Your mouth fell agape, and you turned to him to find he was smiling, looking directly at you. Asshole “This whole conversation is below my paygrade. You’re bothering me Peña, get to work..” and with that the two of you were practically kicked out of her office and thrown into the hall, where in the deafening silence you heard the large wooden doors slam behind you.

You were lucky there was no one else around, especially when he practically slammed you against the wall. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Tryna fuck my whole day over baby?” You had to physically fight yourself to not give into the death grip he had on your shoulders, to hold yourself up as he caged you against the corridor. “I just really need these papers, and only you can get ‘em for me ” You bat your lashes at him, and he pressed his forehead against the wall beside you in complete frustration, sighing. He knew that wasn’t true, and he knew you did as well. Any intern could have gotten them for you, but who was an intern in comparison to him?

“I won't bother you again, promise” you bit your lip and held your pinkie finger up in what Javier saw as practically an act of war. His hands moved from your shoulders to grab you by the waist as you looked up at him. Despite your smiley exterior you were all giddy on the inside, especially when he leant beside your ear and warned in his low whisper, thumbs drawing circles on your flesh.

“You're playin’ with fire baby..”

—

I'm off to the races, laces

Leather on my waist is tight, and I am fallin' down

I can see your face, is shameless, Cipriani's Basement

Love you, but I'm goin' down

As much as you wanted to bother Javier during his little snoop session with Carillo, you still had a job to do, so you shoved your brattiness aside for a few hours and got to work finding the documents you needed from the archives. You were honestly expecting a medal for your self restraint, because once you were done you waited patiently till he strutted outside after his meeting, barely holding up the heavy box with all your findings. You’d been standing there for almost two hours, and the jerk hadn’t even given you a heads up so you could sit inside.

“Finally.” He rolled his eyes, and like he was running some sort of marathon didn’t bother even helping you, speed walking across the parking lot as you stumbled and struggled behind him– attempting to keep up.

“We gotta get back, now.”

You buckled your seatbelt as he pulled out of the driveway, and relaxed against your seat as you caught your breath. “Where’re we going?” He turned to you and smiled, but it was in that signature condescending way that he always did. Meanie You thought to yourself. “We are not going anywhere. You are going back to the office, and I am going to take care of something you don't need to worry about.” You didn't know whether there was any use still being offended by his patronizing attitude, he could’ve just said you were going back to the office, but that was too normal, too dignified of a response for the great, cartel busting Javier Peña

“I could come.” He laughed at your pout, as he turned to look at you, rounding the corner. “Baby, don’t ya’ think that's a little ambitious comin’ from someone who got winded carrying a box across a parking lot.” You scoffed, yes, it would've been nice to have some help. “Don’t worry, I don’t want anything to do with whatever it is you're going to do, anyway” Wanting to turn away from him you looked out the window, but that only lasted so long.

“If this lead comes through, everyone in Bogotà’s gonna want everything to do with it.” You watched as the setting sun drenched your surroundings in a golden glow, and you couldn’t look away from the way Javier’s brown eyes too turned into pools of gold as the sun caught them. His voice a low hum just a little louder than the radio he habitually played as he drove around. It took a special type of maniac to go on missions off the clock.

“Who’s it for, the lead?” He hummed, and smiled to himself as he spoke, that look on his face you couldn’t quite place– like he was just waiting for his opponent to slip up. “One of the big guys. You should meet him when we bring him in– you’d get along– he's a pain in my ass”

You turned your gaze from the opening embassy gates to meet his eyes, your own narrowed into slits as you stared him down– he was smiling, and you hated it. “Mean.” He shook his head at your irritation, and wordlessly pulled up into the driveway. “Now, you're gonna take those files, and you're gonna sit your bratty ass down, and you're gonna work on that silly paper of yours” You were halfway out the door, lifting the giant cardboard box off the floor of the car with embarrassing difficulty.

Great, there was another thing he could berate you for.

“That's a lot of instructions..” Your voice was muffled behind your paperwork, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it when he tried to boss you around.

“Well here's another– don't touch anything while I'm gone.” He laughed to himself as he caught your rolling eyes peering at him over the top of the box, that being the only part of you that was really visible to him. Waiting for you to make it to the entrance he watched as one of his colleagues, one of the many heading out for the day, took it from you, and helped you inside.

The low hum of the radio replaced the sound of your voice, an old spanish tune coming over the static as he drove out and away from the embassy.

—

God, I'm so crazy, baby

I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving

I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island

Raisin' hell all over town

Sorry 'bout it

“Didn't I specifically tell you not to touch anything” You lifted your head in the direction of that familiar voice, irritated as usual, but also a little more gruff, a little more tired. For a moment you regretted annexing his office while he was away. You watched as he sauntered in and towards his desk, opposite the little workstation you’d set up on a spare table where he’d dumped his tie and blazer for when the Ambassador popped around. He propped his hands on his desk, leaning against it to meet your gaze.

God did he look good, the day had taken its toll on him, but it was only doing him favors. That soft brown hair had been ruffled out of place, and that crisp button up sat wrinkled on his back, loosely and messily tucked into his navy dress pants, sleeves haphazardly rolled up his forearms. While he looked like he worked a regular nine to five, from the little you knew about his job, an intentionally minimal amount, you were sure the unkemptness was the result of some high stakes chase, raid or whatever it was he’d set his head to doing that day.

“‘M not touching, I just needed the AC” He rolled his eyes, but his neatly hung blazer and rolled up tie caught his attention from across the room. “See.. Untouched” You shot him that smile that you knew drove him up the wall, and he shook his head, now concerned more with sorting the paperwork splayed out in front of him. “Must be real hard, highlightin’ all that paper” He pointed to your reference material. As bad as the day was, it wasn't bad enough to persuade him to stop being a jerk.

The place was a mess, and he couldn’t leave it this way till the morning, that would be a hit to his professionalism far worse than any of the shady shit he’d done over the years. He didn’t have time for your childish antics. At least for the moment. It’d been a long day and he wanted nothing more than to get it over with. Boy did he look like he needed to let off some steam, and while at first glance your actions were doing anything but helping him relax, couldn’t he see you were just begging for him to use you for exactly that?

Maybe it was because he was tired of your shit, or because he was far too preoccupied with his work at the time, or because the office was dark and quiet and cold, but the next few minutes passed in uncharacteristic silence. You gazed up once in a while to see Javier’s scrunched brows sort through an abundance of filing. He’d sigh heavily every once in a while, and you could only wonder what or who, besides you, got on his nerves that much. You were almost eager to eliminate the competition. The world drowned out in the white noise of shuffling documents and clicking pens and you were once again lost in your paper.

Every part of you really wished he wasn’t such an asshole. What had you ever done to him anyway, for him to be so cold and mean? You couldn’t pretend you had nothing to do with it, you'd egged him on beyond measure, but you’d only ever wanted him to like you. Okay maybe you thoroughly enjoyed his irritation, but you only really ever wanted his attention. Pathetic.. You thought to yourself. You pretended he wasn’t bothered by you taking over his office for a moment.

“Done yet?” You hadn’t even realized how or when Javier had crossed the room and made his way in front of you. His fingers danced on the edge of your laptop screen. You didn’t feel like answering just yet, so you typed away at your keyboard for a while longer. The silence wasn’t appreciated, and you could feel the exhaustion radiate off him like heat. You caught him fiddling with the pens on your desk, and skimming over some of your printed material from the corner of your eye, and you bit your lip to stifle your laughter when he chucked it back on your desk in what you assumed was complete disinterest. He was going to try harder to get your attention.

You weren't prepared however when he practically slammed your laptop shut, forcing you to stop ignoring him. Talk about disrupting the workplace. Groaning, you rested your chin in your palms and peered up at him through dopey eyes. A man who had been driven to the edge, that's the gaze you met. It was not going to affect you, that muted rage, that wrought iron glare. You promised yourself. But your desires were already betraying you.. you rubbed your thighs together to alleviate the ache.

“There a problem?” With a tone that set his last teeth on edge you kept up the facade, against your better judgment. It was just too much fun not to. When you looked up at him through your lashes you could almost see the slight tick in his jaw, and your mind wandered to what other ways you’d like this type of view. “Yes, in fact there is. It's 1am” He leaned forward, dangerously close, to the point you could feel the warmth of his breath fan against your lips, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. You caught the faint smell of cigarettes off his disheveled clothes, the scent of whiskey on his lips. You felt your breath hitch, but you hoped he didn't notice. How naive, that was.

“And” Your eyes darted to his mouth momentarily as you spoke, voice wavering. He raised his brows, almost to tell you not to push him any further than you already did. It was too late, however. Whatever this was had spiraled far out of your control, and he could see the way you squirmed under that commanding gaze of his. Your brain was screaming at the attention, and you had to inwardly yell at yourself to stop being so needy.

“And?” Your brows furrowed, your lips forming that signature pout when you heard him mock your tone, your voice. “I've had a long day, baby, and I wanna go home” You huffed girlishly at his ridicule, the way he liked to humiliate you by throwing your attitude back in your face with his snide imitations, his raised brow and faux sympathy. He talked like one does to a misbehaving child. In that patronizing, explanatory melody. You watched him chuckle with slitted eyes, though you were slowly turning to a puddle underneath it all.

“Go home then Mr. Peña. I'm not stopping you am I?” You watched his eyes darken, and you weren't even sure that was possible, but you didn’t have much time to think because before you knew it he was pinching your cheeks between his fingers, his other hand still holding him up on the table. You could only whine under his rough touch as its effects licked between your thighs. He laughed when you mewed at the sting.

“Oh but you are. You're just beggin’ me to stay, aren't ya’ baby?” Your soft and pathetically unconvincing ‘no’ was muffled as he squeezed your cheeks in his large hands, yanking you in his direction as you fruitlessly attempted to free yourself from his grip. Unable to help yourself you were almost crooning into his touch, your body basically begging him to rough you up. “Such a fuckin’ brat. Runnin’ your mouth all day, showin’ up in those clothes, fuckin up my schedule, acting like a whore” His soft whisper made you shiver, your skin now on fire. He spoke slowly, and every syllable made you want to drop at his feet with a vigor you could only be embarrassed of. He made you feel small, made you feel helpless under his touch.

You wanted to push back, wanted to defy his accusations.“‘m not a whore” He smiled at your whining, and if you were delusional, and you were, even hopeful, you’d say he did so endearingly. But Javier Peña didn’t care about endearments, and after the way you’d acted you’d be crazy to think he thought there was anything endearing about you. “Right baby. You're not. Gotta pay girls to act this way ‘round me. But look at you. Didn’t spare you a fuckin dime.”

He had let go of your face, and had in a moment, quickly and uncaringly dumped you on the table in front of him. You let out a soft “ow” when you felt your knees bump the wood before your legs were dangling off its edge. You were far closer to him now, and if you had felt small before you thought you were only shrinking in comparison to his domineering frame– physical, mental, everything. Your brain was mush, your body was mush, and you could only lean into his touch– benevolent or not.

In an uncharacteristically gentle gesture he patted your cheeks with the palm of his hand, lightly, as if to soothe the sore flesh, but it only made the way he pulled them mockingly far more jarring. “Know what that makes you babygirl?” He paused for a moment, knowing you couldn't answer, looking down at the way your eyes were now welling with tears at the pain, and reveling in the sight.

“Makes you a little slut”

You wanted to respond, wanted to defend yourself, but you could only settle for grabbing his dress shirt in the balls of your first. The fabric of your panties had pretty much soaked through, and you felt it cling to you uncomfortably as you shifted on the table to pull him closer. Practically begging for his touch.

He let go of your face, but he didn’t plan on being any more gentle. He knew there was nothing you could do, nothing you could say at that moment, and he took full advantage of your silence– telling you everything he’d wanted to scream in your face for the past month. It was even better now however, because as a fun bonus, for his superhuman self control, you were even pleading for him to do so. He could see it in your eyes, feel it on your hot skin, the way you subtly rolled your hips against the table to ease the pang between your thighs. He reduced you to a dumb, empty headed bimbo, with his words alone. He couldn't help but rub it in a little. “Aw baby, no words for me? Where’s that snappy mouth now?” That faux sympathy was back again

His hands rubbed up and down your sides, moving to toy with the buttons of your top as he spoke. Fiddling with them he popped the first few open, enough to expose the swell of your breasts to the cool of the air conditioned office. With lust blown eyes he trailed his thumbs along your collar bones and then down to your admittedly skimpy lingerie– you gasped when he yanked it down, practically tearing if in a swift motion. He admired you for a moment, held you in place when you squirmed against him, wrapped your legs around his waist.

You shifted on the desk, leaning your face against his torso, looking up at him, pleading with your eyes. “Like you better like this, clothes half off like a desperate slut that couldn’t even wait to get undressed.” He paused, still admiring, tracing your cheekbones with his thumbs. “Oh, and fucking quiet” he flipped you on your stomach, your legs dangling of the table when you writhed under his punishing grip– pushing your face down against the wood, bending you over it. “Whaddya think baby?”

As if he had enough of just looking you felt him flip your skirt up with his vacant hand, and yelped when his palm came down harshly on the flesh of your ass, the sting only egging on your tears of desperation. “You know what I think baby? Think I needa fuck some manners into you.” He smoothed his hands up and down your warm thighs, fingers finding the soaked fabric of your panties as you moaned and sighed above him. He knew what he did to you and he loved it. “Can pretend there's anything in that head of yours besides the thought of goin’ dumb for me”

You lifted your head to look up and behind you, you’d give anything to witness the sight you’d touched yourself to for the past month, but Javier was quick to slam you head back back to where it came from, and send your eyes rolling back into your head as he shoved your soaked panties aside and roughly pushed two fingers into your sopping cunt. "Fuck, look at this tight little pussy, can barley take my fingers." He groaned in your ear, leaning up against you as his digits fucked you at an agonisingly slow pace, just barely soothing the burn of desire building in your core. “Bad girls don’t get a view.” Light headed, you could only squeal, could only hide your face from him as he leaned over to catch a glimpse of your knitted brows and that pout.

"Y'know how messy y'are baby? Feel how this pussys cryin' for me, drippin' all over my hand?"

You kicked your legs in protest, salty tears streaming down your face and pooling at its side on the wood beneath you. He wasn’t happy when he found you pushing back against his fingers, grinding helplessly on them. For a moment you thought your wish was granted, but he was only yanking you off the desk so you could have your back flush against him, and he could get his hand wrapped tightly around your throat. Still languidly pumping his fingers in and out of your soaking pussy he turned your face to meet his, and sneered as his palm collided with the side of your cheek.

Smack

“Watch it” You wanted to be a brat, wanted to defy him, but it was all too much to handle at once. You felt fuzzy all over, and who were you kidding you were always going dumb for him. Besides, how could you even keep your mind steady, not when you felt his hard length against you. You gazed right up at him, pushed back against him, eyes rolling back into your head as you did. He only laughed. “Oh baby, think it's gonna be that easy? Think ‘m gonna let you cum jus’ like that? After you've run me up the wall?” He squeezed your breast in his palm, bending you back over the table, now more gently, extending the olive branch, giving you a chance to repent. “‘M not a needy slut like you baby, those little tricks ain't’ gonna work” Javier was an asshole, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t waiting to ruin you. But first he wanted to have a little fun.

“Please, please, promise I'll be good.” He hummed, pretending like he was debating whether he was going to give into your pleas yet. He wasn't. He wanted to soak in the sight– you splayed out on his desk, begging him to fuck you sensless, his hands roaming your body torturously teasing you as your pussy clenched around nothing, dripping for him.

“So now ya wanna be good? Well baby I'm not buyin it yet. Gonna take a lot more convincing than that.” His fingers found your clothed cunt once again, drawing soft circles on your clit. You wailed, knuckles going white when you gripped the table edge in front of you. "Feels good doesnt' it babygirl, I know, feels so good when you finally fucking listen." You pushed back against his fingers, practically humping his hand. The tears were back, and he loved them. “Aw, poor baby, too much?” He wasn’t asking, and you knew he didn’t care what you had to say anyway. He wanted one response, and you were far too wound up not to give it to him.

“Please please please. Won't be a brat, wanna be your good girl.” He kept you waiting and distraught, fingers still rubbing you through your panties as he spoke, knowing very well you could barely concentrate when he touched you, the squelching of your wetness only drove you towards the edge. “Now babygirl, you're gonna listen, and you're gonna listen good, and do exactly what I say. Ya hear?” You nodded your head vigorously, but a smack to your ass reminded you to use your words. “Yes. promise” He laughed. “Such an easy little slut.” You heard the jingle of his belt behind you.

You shivered when you felt his cock drag against your drenched cunt, tip bumping your clit with every pass as he wet himself with your slick. Your hips moved frantically, unable to get enough of the friction, but he held you back just enough, to where you would remain unsatisfied and frustrated.“Say" I'm sorry daddy. I'm sorry for being a tease.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and the command alone was enough to send you over the edge.

“‘m sorry for being a tease daddy ”

“Say “I'm Sorry for being an easy whore””

“M’ sorry for being an easy whore” You’d never been more shy in your life, forget around Javier, who could never guess you had it in you. “That’s my good little slut.” But the way he was speaking to you, teasing, mocking, telling you what to do, what to say– you were hot all over with humiliation. You hid your face, pretty much smashing your forehead against the table, making sure no matter how far he lent he couldn't see the way you were coming undone under him.

He could probably sense it, though, especially by the way you reacted to his little praise. “That's it babygirl. Comin around now are we?” You didn't want him to have that on you, but you were lucky, in a way, because he didn’t care much to tease you anymore. He grabbed your hips harshly and with a rough thrust of his hips he was fucking you into the mahogany desk, your ribs bruising as he held you down against it. He wasn’t wasting any time, wasn’t stopping or going slow to let you adjust, he was reminding you of how tightly you’d wound him up.“So fuckin tight” his voice was a strained whisper behind you, and you made a noise you could barely recognise as your own at his words. “Hurts” you were whining again,this time at the sting, and you knew he didn’t care but you couldn’t help yourself. “Yeah baby hurts when daddy stuffs you full of his cock? My poor thing.. But you like it don't you babygirl? Like it when I stretch you open” he wasn’t wrong. The feeling of him splitting you open had turned you into a puddle, a moaning mess. “”S too big” his hands smoothed up and down your back erratically. “I know baby, I know, but you’re gonna take it aren’t you? Gonna take it how I give it to you dirty little girl?” You were, you took it how he gave it to you. “Gonna ruin this pretty lil pussy” He squeezed the flesh of your hips till you squeaked, the pain only adding to the pleasure as his hips smacked against yours.

You felt your legs shake as his cock pounded your aching pussy. “Jus’ needed daddy to fuck all that brattiness outta ya huh?” You nodded your head and he cooed at the way you melted into his touch. “Oh baby, that’s it, just like that.” Gazing up with hooded eyes you caught his reflection in the glass of his office window, half illuminated by the dim lighting– his own face scrunched up with pleasure. The sight only had you fucking back against him. You felt like jello, your heart pitter pattering at his little praise.

“My good little slut”

Wrapping his arm around you he grabbed your face roughly again, dragging you up and against his chest again.

“My slut, hear me?”

Yours, yours, yours

Your brain was a fog, and the only thing you could focus on was the way his cock was hitting that sweet spot inside you, making you clench around him as that burn built in your core– a string of incoherent “daddy’s” being the only thing you could manage to get out your mouth. “My dumb fuckin baby, my whore, squeezin’ my cock”. You repeated like a broken record; “daddy’s, daddy’s daddy’s”, the feeling of your slick running down your thighs making you go dizzy.

“Look at you, daddy’s little cumdump” your cheeks were burning, your eyes barley staying open. He pulled your face up from the desk. “Can barely look straight huh baby? Gettin all cock drunk on me.” You made out his dark eyes in the reflection. But you couldn’t bear to meet them. It didn’t matter. He was always looking at you.

“Only for you daddy”

Your release was building, like an inextinguishable fire, your pussy throbbing with need, just begging for it, and he knew it too, the way your walls quivered around him, the way you were moaning and panting, whispering soft calls of “daddy” when he held you against him. “Gonna cum babygirl? Gonna cum on my cock, bent over my desk? When ’m usin’ ya like a fuckin toy?”

Your body went lax in his arms as you came, your lips parting in a wordless cry, eyes fluttering shut. “That's it… cum for me”. You cherished that almost gentle encouragement as you came undone, tummy swarming with butterflies as you shook in his arms. He was still fucking into your sensitive pussy, pushing you further into the desk as he neared his release. You heard a strained curse behind you, before he was fucking you full of his cum in deep, hard thrusts, your legs dangled off the table as you milked his cock. Shivering at the feeling you closed your eyes, his spend leaked out of your sore pussy when he pulled out, dripping down your inner thighs obscenely. You heard his belt jingle again as he caught his breath behind you, and you felt silly for the way you missed his warmth when it was replaced by the chilled office air. He quickly shifted your panties back in place, making sure you stayed stuffed full of his cum. You winced when he smacked your pussy lightly. Raising your head you caught his reflection again, but you hid your face back against the desk almost immediately when you saw the way he admired his work in the reflection, like he could see the way he’d fucked the brattiness out of you.

With closed eyes you hummed as he turned you over and sat you on the desk. Now that you’d finally got Javier’s attention you were satisfied– all sleepy and fucked out. You wished he’d hold you, but you had to remind yourself fucking you hadn’t taken the asshole out of him. He was still Javier. Hardass DEA attaché Javier. You sat there for a while, and when you opened your eyes you saw him picking up his blazer and briefcase.

“If you're not up in 10 seconds I'm leavin’ ya here.” He was back to usual in a moment, and in your fuzzy little head you heard a well meaningness in that tone. “In those messy panties.” You pouted at his words, once again, and he watched as you hopped off the table, rubbing your eyes as you gathered your things, albeit clumsily–your knees wobbly to the point where you could see Javier’s smirk behind you as you shoved your laptop into your bag.

Turning off the table lamp he motioned with his head for you to get moving along, and you rolled your eyes at him as you walked out the door, stumbling slightly as you did. He gave you what you now recognised as that look, brows raised, and you didn’t have the energy at the moment to be combative.

Maybe you didn’t want to be.

“Come on now, runalong”

—

My old man is a thief, and

I'm gonna stay and pray with him 'til the end

But I trust in the decision of the Lord, to watch over us

Take him when He may, if He may

I'm not afraid to say that I'd die without him

Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you!

They would rue the day I was alone, without you

You're lyin' with your gold chain on

Cigar hangin' from your lips, I said, "Hon'"

"You never looked so beautiful as you do now, my man"

And we're off to the races, places

Ready, set, the gate is down and now we're goin' in

To Las Vegas, chaos, Casino Oasis

Honey, it is time to spin

Boy, you're so crazy, baby

I love you forever, not maybe

You are my one true love

Let me know what you think please!! I’d love to hear your nasty thots. I really hope you lovelies liked it. Thank you to everyone who reblogs my work. You keep me writing! Dividers and banners by @ saradika 💗💗🐝🐝

1K notes · View notes

pasta-in-the-pudding · 4 months

Note

hi Jake! I absolutely love your blogs, and I’m wondering if you can do some Homicidal Liu/liu woods hcs? :3 please & thank you!!

GUH LIU <333 He's my special guy I love him

TW: Mentions of abuse, trauma, very light gore, a little angst

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

General Liu Headcanons

The biggest thing about Liu that effects his day to day life is his DID

He grew up in a very dysfunctional home, where his parents only really had kids as makeshift butlers and to live vicariously through them

Liu, being the older brother had a lot of the "harder" tasks given to him such as cooking for the family, making sure everyone had clean clothes, when jeff was a baby he had to change jeff's diapers, etc

So both kids were very mentally unstable from the start, but what really set the hammer in the coffin for Liu developing DID was that whenever he either did something wrong or didn't do his "chores", he was severely punished by being locked in a closet with no food, water or bathroom privileges for unknown amounts of time

This being said, he has waaay more alters than just Sully, Sully is just the one that fronts the most due to Sully being the main protector of the system

Other than Sully, Liu's system is made up of mostly littles and caretaker alters

Which can be very scary at times, so he does everything in his power to make sure that if someone does happen to front, it isn't any of the littles

Ok, i'm done talking about his DID now

I imagine him to either be fully Columbian or mixed Columbian with American

Jeff is the same way

Speaking of Jeff, Liu is about 5 years older than Jeff

Also on the topic of Jeff, Liu still very much loves his brother, and understands that during the "incident" he was very mentally unstable and he wasn't entirely in control of his own actions at the moment

But after being reunited with Jeff, it took a very, very long time for Liu to even stay in the front of his mind when around Jeff, let alone feel safe around him

Over the years, their relationship has significantly improved

Liu still doesn't feel comfortable being alone with Jeff, or even really going anywhere with Jeff, but he is able to hang out with him and talk

His height is around 5'9"

He always smells like vanilla and sometimes like a grandma's perfume

SPEAKING OF GRANDMAS

Liu is a total grandma

He says "oh lordy lord" after waking up from a long nap, he does the english teacher cardigan tuck, he says "kids these days", etc

But he's chill guys I swear (Jeff come get your boy he just said "Flabbergasted" in front of the hoes)

Also he loves plants

so much

someone stop this guy

It started out innocent enough, just a few plants to take care of because he read that taking care of plants can help with depression

And then he kind of spiraled

He has names for all of them, designated personalities, sometimes he knits them clothes for their pots

He's generally a very quiet guy

I wouldn't say shy per se....but he's like....shy in a cool history teacher way

guys he takes it up the butt

Woah who said that??? wild. Anyways!

He's so gentle and calming guh..

Love that guy, he's so special to me

ALSO he doesn't techincally have any pets but like...there's this one stray cat that comes around that he feeds and in return the cat brings him little dead things

He's named him "Harold Jackson"

He likes to read

He's one of those booktok girlies with all the tabs and highlighters

Genuinely squeals like a bitch when he sees a "Penguin Classics" book out in public

(I'm projecting onto him)

His proxy tattoo is on his shoulder, like right on top of it

He got his ears pierced at the young young age of 25 (reluctantly. Jeff forced him)

And now he wears all sorts of fun earrings! (he wears those e-boy cross earrings...)

His spotify wrapped consisted of David Bowie, Hozier, Cigarettes after sex, and mitski

His favorite color is beige and his hobbies include ironing clothes and sending emails <33

Guys idk if you can tell but i love him a lot

#creepypasta #slender mansion #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x female reader #jeff the killer #jeffery woods #homicidal liu x reader #homicidal liu #homocidal liu #liu woods

68 notes · View notes

dykesynthezoid · 4 hours

Text

I do think Daniel is going to have a health crisis at the end of the season (possibly due to Louis; sorry Danlou ily but Louis’s just an unstable girlie) although I don’t know if it’ll end with him being turned or not (it still feels kind of early but also please let Eric be a vampire he wants it so bad) but there is an alternative that exists in my haha yes sickos brain in which he’s not turned but Armand’s blood is what saves him. (Perhaps Louis is indisposed? Maybe he makes another attempt to end it?)

I keep thinking about Eric saying that Daniel is moving into a phase of feeling “pure hatred” for Armand post memory wipe reveal and god. God would it be so crazy for Daniel to end up in this position where Armand’s blood is the only thing keeping him alive with his health teetering on the edge, and he needs it, but he’s also so angry and still doesn’t want to be turned, but on top of that he’s stubborn and wants to see this vampire drama through to the end, but then also he’s been put back in this position of an addict— And if there are certain memories the whole situation triggers well. Fun

#I don’t necessarily think they’d go there but it’d be crazy #like s3 Lestat is talking incessantly while Daniel tries to hide the fact he’s jonesing for vamp blood #daniel molloy #armand #louis de pointe du lac #iwtv tv #iwtv #devil’s minion

32 notes · View notes

s1nn0hh · 9 days

Text

so Fujii's post about Grovyle and Ribbons and their history gave me some motivation to do one but for my own girlie and her grovyle, so here's basically what I had in mind.

The Beginning:

During one of his outings to find food and anything to help him survive through the day, Grovyle comes across a long abandoned settlement far out in the dry midlands. Cautious but curious, he chooses to get close and scout the place. After getting inside one of the houses to see if there's at least *something* to help him get by, he hears something. Almost the faintest sounds of someone.. sniffling? The sound caught him off guard, to which he brandishes a Leaf Blade just in case it ends up being an attempt to trick him and attack him off guard. He cautiously makes his way towards the room where the sniffling came from, and he slowly opens the door; blade ready and all. But instead of finding a trap that would've just shown him that the maddening effects of the paralyzed future have truly strewn far enough no matter where he goes, he instead finds.. a human girl, crying and holding back tears. She immediately took notice to his presence and backed away in fear, not willing to risk it all against him. But.. Grovyle did not attack. For some weird reason, he felt.. compelled to help. He reached out his hand, asking for a name and if she would like to get out of this decript house before someone else less kinder would find her.

The girl stiffens her fears and introduces herself as Erida, and accepts his offer. Not like she really had anywhere to go, and anywhere was better than here.

During the time in which they were together, Erida was primarily silent. Only ever really saying a few words if the situation called it, or if she was spoken to. Grovyle sensed that something was bothering her (she made a bit too obvious, he says), but upon seeing her just say that it's fine and that it doesn't matter, something inside him stirs. Something inside is eating her out, piece by piece, and she would just let it fend and feed until some line is reached. Even long after Celebi joins the party, her behavioral issues still persist; and it doesn't help him that her self-sacrificial tendencies (that just remind him a bit too much of his own) only grew more, especially during fights where she would intentionally take hits for him and only hurt herself for the sake of shielding them both. It's safe to say that was the grand line he was willing to draw, and he almost instinctively stopped becoming just an adult that she's in company with to almost becoming a worried parent/responsible adult. He started encouraging her to eat more food, get better rest, and to please not act as a shield for him and Celebi. He understands the gesture and the intentions behind it, but if he has to see one more scar or blue spot on her body, he might just faint. Surprisingly enough, she listens to him for the most part. She doesn't understand where this all suddenly came from, but Grovyle just says that he cares about her, much more than he'd like to say. (Almost the same way a parent would care about their child, one might say..)

When the whole 'saving the paralyzed future' mission starts taking effects and Primal Dialga sending his ghastly goons to stop the three from altering history, Erida's self sacrificial tendencies return in full force. She was willing to take whatever the Sableye threw at her, and Dusknoir, for how she was terrified shitless of him, was just strong and resilient enough to take at least one of his hits. Grovyle could feel his heart drop when that happens, but that's a talk he will need to have with her in another time. After Celebi opens the passage of time to get back to the past and do what needs to be done, the passage becomes unstable. Erida tries to balance herself to stay afoot, but the nearing presence of Dusknoir on their tail, coupled with the constant shaking and motions, she manages to fall. Grovyle manages to hold onto her; just enough to pull her back. He's not gonna lose her here. Please, don't let go. But just as she struggles to hold onto his hand, she gives him one last smile, and says the following words.

"Although the parting hurts.. the rest is in your hands!"

And as a final act to ensure that he will live, she let go.

Unfortunate Reunion:

During his desperation and the ever-growing guilt on the time gear collectahon, Grovyle encounters a new obstacle in his path. A strange red Duskull and a Baltoy keep stopping him from trying to get the time gears. He knew he could very easily just push them aside and use force if needed, but something about how that duskull kept protecting and shielding her teammate almost instinctively back at Quicksand Cave, and it only brought him to a halt as it reminded him of someone who he had failed to protect, and her name also being 'Erida' felt like this was just a taunting reminder for how he failed, both as a friend and as a father. Of course, he still had a mission to accomplish. Crystal Cave wasn't as fun as he would like to recall. The attacks he dealt certainly had more impact on the two, and he managed to swipe them off their feet and ensure their meddling won't continue; only to be stopped by the wretched Dusknoir who showed up last minute to stop him from relentlessly beating up those two kids. Grovyle flees, head filled with thoughts.

When he's captured and brought back to the dark future and the two are now familiar with Dusknoir's true nature and how much he 'cared', Grovyle couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy; specifically for the duskull. Whereas her partner felt deceived and hurt and more vocal about those feelings, she just.. stood there. and took everything in. almost like.. no, no. He couldn't bring himself to say it. That wasn't her. It.. couldn't be.

After escaping once more, the three gather back at Sharpedo Bluff, Grovyle decides to open up more and tell the two who he really is and what his mission was for, and about the person that he is doing all this for. After he's done, he sees the little Baltoy look a bit confused, gesturing to the Duskull and telling him that this is Erida. Grovyle says that the Erida he knew was human, to which the Baltoy responds by saying she found her unconscious on the beach one day, with the memory of.. being a human.

Grovyle's eyes widen as he asks if that really is true, to which she nods with. Erida was alive, but.. he.. he hurt.. he was supposed to..

...

Erida recognized him. But the cost that came with that recognition was not worth the risk.

During the way to the Hidden Land on Lapras' back, it was silent. With only the waves to accommodate for noise, the situation was deafening and ridden with unwashed blood. Night fell, and just as the two fell asleep, Grovyle only stayed up and thought. He felt two small arms wrap around his hand, to which he looked down and saw.. Erida. He was not sure what to make of the gesture. Did she forgive him? Did he deserve her apology? He did not know. But somehow, he felt better. So long as she was safe, he felt better.

The fight against Dusknoir before the Rainbow Stoneship was unexpected, but it was nothing they could not handle. Dusknoir was strong, but so were they. As Gaia was instructed to wait at the top of the stoneship, Grovyle and Erida fought side by side against the gripper menace. But just as they were done, Dusknoir revealed a piece of information that Grovyle should've clawed him for revealing. When time will be restored, he, Grovyle and Erida will disappear. Erida only looked at him and asked him if it was true, to which he only nodded in shame. The piece of information he concealed from her for so long, and this is how she finally knew about it.

As a final act of remorse, Grovyle manages to slowly but surely push back Dusknoir to the passage he came from, but not long before Erida tries to tell him that he doesn't have to go. He wanted to stay. To help. To make up for everything. But this is a matter that she and Gaia had to fight on their own against.

The parting hurt, but the rest was in their hands. And with that, he and Dusknoir disappeared into the passage.

Current Day

By the time the future trio return to current day times, the first thing on his mind was to see Erida. To at least know she was still alive and well was the first in his priorities, and.. if she still remembers him. Safe to say, she absolutely does. The moment he comes visiting at the bluff, he is immediately pulled into an Ursaring hug by a blue dusknoir with two scars on her face, and he was happy to see her again just as she did with him.

But alas, she wasn't as welcoming to the presence of a certain ghost-type that tagged along, and her reaction to his presence was almost.. visceral. It didn't take him long enough to catch up with everything else that had transpired during the last 4 decades, and the one thing that truly broke his heart was seeing and hearing all the emotional travesties that Erida went through, to which he only blames himself for not returning closer, even when she tells him it wasn't his fault. But he supposes that this is what they are all here for, to make up for the time lost and fix what was left broken. There was no way in hell he was gonna leave again. His daughter needed him, and he was gonna do his best to be the foster father he previously failed to be.

#oc: erida #woman in her 40s and her fuckass dad.#this one kinda stinks but i figured i may as well just post it. whateva

26 notes · View notes

n1nthrule · 5 months

Text

(probably) clever fight club epiphanies that have smacked me in the face with a hammer recently:

marla is the centre of tyler. tyler is created as a version of narrator that he deems good enough to date marla as well as a projection of his desire for marla that he represses along with his other desires throughout the book/film. tyler is presented as a father/teacher figure for narrator (but chuck palahniuk cannot write convincing romance unless it's accidental so they actually have better grounds for a relationship than narrator and marla somehow). as narrator goes through the events of fight club and learns to accept his true self without the guidance of tyler, he is finally able to reassess and realise his desire for marla (which is def better portrayed in the book than the film). this also makes the scene in the book where marla tells narrator that she loves him instead of tyler and 'can tell the difference' hit 10x harder.

the modern world (1999 and also present day) advertises self-actualisation through consumerism ('self care' ect.). at the start of the book/film, narrator buys into these ideas of essentially 'buying happiness' though his materialism/consumerism when it comes to ikea catalogues (quote from the film- "I was one step from being complete"- also how these companies are constantly creating new stuff to stop you from ever actually feeling complete so you buy more stuff). however, throughout the events of the book/film, narrator's repressed anger towards this consumerist ideal of being 'complete' manifests itself into tyler, fight club and project mayhem- these are ways he tries to self- actualise and find himself without buying more Stuff.

fight club is created as a social model for men. the men in fight club are able to confront and find the courage to challenge their issues through fighting each other- this concept of being able to work through issues is not as widely accepted for men in other forms of therapy groups, such as the testicular cancer group at the start of the book/film that also asks men to confront/challenge their issues through talking and meditation. to the men in the testicular cancer group (who are already emasculated through their medical diagnosis), this form of therapy is seen as 'girly' and therefore shameful, which is why, in the book, the entire testicular cancer group disbands to join fight club. in this way, they are able to confront/challenge their issues in a way that society deems 'appropriate', and therefore in a way that they do not feel shame for doing so (this also serves to comment on the alluring nature of extremist groups such as incels to men seeking support who are unable to ask for help of out fear of ridicule).

(though probably not chuck's intention because this book was written in the 90s and separating sex from gender was not a common discussion) the motif of emasculation through the loss of physical attributes (the testicular cancer group/ project mayhem castrating people) points towards materialism in society and the unstable masculinity of the men in this book. these men are easily emasculated and are unable to understand how their inner identity is not directly related to their outward appearance, which is something tyler would fight against in my woke trans reality ("is that what a man looks like?" ect. ect. ).

#fight club #soapshipping #tyler durden #narrator fight club #fight club book #analysis #long post #hope these are good points and not just brainrot insanity #they've been marinating for a good week #obvs film fight club cannot connote narrator's inner thoughts about marla not loving him THAT well and that's why the ending's different #and i love the film ending i love the unstable handholding despite Everything she's put up with as the skyscrapers fall down #but 'tell me every little thing' is so dear to me. in my soul #love them both. different mediums need different things. and so on

47 notes · View notes

desiretobedead · 3 months

Text

Explaining J-fashion sub cultures #1, Jirai kei

______________________________________________________________

WARNING!! This blog discuses about certain triggering topics such as suicide, illegal/violent behaviours, self harm, alcoholism and more. This post isn't graphic but if mentions of these topics trigger you, please click off/scroll away (っ◞‸◟ c)

______________________________________________________________

Hi hi hi everyone! I'm starting a new series discussing J-fashion sub cultures! If anything was incorrect or lost in translation, feel free to comment and tell me, so I can edit it ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡

Moving on... Today we will be discussing Jirai kei!

Jirai kei is a relatively new fashion subcultre that popped up in the early 2020's that was based off/created in the area of Kabukicho. It has kind of an edgy look, usually paired with colours like black and pink (most common), or white and blue.

Now, where did the name Jirai Kei come from? In Japanese, 地雷 (jirai) is used as a slang term for describing something "dangerous" or "violent". 地雷 directly translates to landmine, henceforth the English name also being landmine girl. The reason why it is called jirai is that it is seen that the women/girls who participate in this sub culture are seen as violent, mentally unstable or manipulative. Jirai Onna (地雷女) is used as a derogatory term towards women. In the sub culture, the women who participate are Jirai Joshi (地雷女子) aka landmine women, and men, Jirai Dashi (地雷男子) aka landmine men.

Following on, the origins come from a Japanese Youtuber SuReRo who went viral in 2020 March, the term has since then gradually turned into a subculture. It is also said that the origins come from Toyoko kids. Toyoko kids are kids who are usually seen in Kabukicho who are "run away kids" aged 10-18.

Now onto the brighter topics, the style comes from other styles such as Japanese girly fashion and yami kawaii. Some of the style basics consist of, high-waisted skirts or shorts adorned with laces and frills usually in colour pallets like black and pink being the most common, white and blue, and occasionally red and black. Mary Janes are very popular considering that most shoes worn with jirai kei are platformers.

For the hair and makeup, the makeup consists of an exaggerated version of byojaku with a red or pink under eye blush. Usually their foundation is very pale, and the makeup exaggerates a tear bag or ageyo sal. For the hair, pigtails with black hair, highlights and bangs is very common in jirai kei but, there are many other hairstyles to try from in jirai kei!

Next off, the reason that this sub culture is seen in a derogatory way comes from some criticism/controversies, such as mental illness, self harm, drug usage, sex work, underage prostitution, and other topics. And unfortunately, it is not uncommon to see most followers of this community participate in these activities.

In the community, most people encourage hyper consumerism and trend cycling, which can be problematic for western people because of the high shipping fees of proxies.

(little comment from me) I think another damaging thing is that a lot of people in the sub culture over use filters and heavily edit their face, which can be VERY damaging to your self-esteem.

______________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in jirai kei or buy some clothes in the style, right below I will put some brands that you could possibly buy from!

Ank Rogue

42lolita (has a small section for jirai kei)

DearMyLove

LizLisa

Bubbles

Ma*rs

secret honey

rojita

And much more!

______________________________________________________________

NOTES: This post is in NO way trying to paint jirai kei as a bad or dangerous thing, I myself enjoy jirai kei. This post was made to inform others. If any of the things I've said were incorrect/lost in translation, PLEASE tell me, so I can fix my mistakes. My goal is to educate others about J fashion sub styles and in no way trying to mis inform others or demonise jirai kei. Also, im not sure if the brands ive mentioned ship internationally which im very sorry about (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

Sources/references that helped me build this post:

https://j-fashion.fandom.com/wiki/Jirai_Kei

https://aesthetics.fandom.com/wiki/Jirai_Kei#History

https://www.yokogaomag.com/editorial/jirai-kei

https://japan-glossy.fr/la-controverse-jirai-kei/

https://www.eviebunnie.com/2023/01/my-current-favourite-jirai-ryosangata.html

______________________________________________________________

Anyway if you've stuck around re blogging, liking, or even following me is always greatly appreciated!

Thank you for reading ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

#jirai kei #jirai onna #jirai girl #landmine girl #landmine kei #fashion #egl #japan #j fashion #writing #harajuku #harajuku fashion #makeup #anime #japanese #地雷系 #地雷系女子 #yami kawaii

28 notes · View notes

cherry-pop-elf · 3 months

Note

I hope this ask finds you well. I wanted to request some headcannons you may have about Bill Weasley? They could be like general hc about him or relationship hc, whatever you like.

Oh hell yeah-! My favorite mentally unstable boy! I love Bill so much. There is so much untapped potential with him. Kisses for you anon. On your little sunglasses head-! 💋

Some Random Bill Weasley 🧡 Headcanons

He was into curse breaking before he even had a wand. There was even a case where Arthur came home with a cursed watch someone snuck into his pocket, and Bill was able to de curse it. No wand needed. He was meant for greatness from then on

The reason Ginny doesn’t have any real long turn damage from the diary, besides ya know trauma, was because of Bill. Given his history of curse breaking, and 100% defiantly dealing with a Horcrux before, he was able to make sure she was able to recover to the best of his abilities. Helps that Ginny is a fighter all the same

His patronus used to be that of a lion, but after the werewolf attack it became that of a wolf.

He has a wand with a Horned Serpent Horn core. It’s perfect for a curse breaker. To help them sense danger when they can’t see or feel it themselves

The only reason he has long hair was he convinced Molly that he grew it out to help Ginny not feel ‘girly’ for having long hair. Charlie hates him for stealing his plans

He moved back to working at Gringotts after the war. As to be closer to George, given Fred’s passing. The goblins welcomed him with open arms, and give him scheduled time off for when the full moon comes around

Given he is a curse breaker, it literally sucks the life out of you. So he is rather pale and slender. It also means mental health is extremely important, so he has a lot of vacations. Along with is the family therapist. As if he wasn’t being the eldest

He works a side hobby with trying to find a cure, some kind of new medication, for Werewolfism. Since he himself did not suffer its extreme effects, he figured due to being a curse breaker, he figured a break through. That if you treat the wound quickly, as if a typical curse, it can be stopped

He is a leading advocate for werewolf equality, and uses his curse breaking title to hold weight in what he does and says. Hermione is proud, and Lupin is as well

He is also 100% part of Abigail’s Pack

And might have possibly slept with her dad at some point shushhhhh

Gerald Grey x Bill Weasley Art When?

He 100% is now super into pet play because of the incident, btw. Whoopsies!

Fleur sure isn’t complaining

He’s now called the “family dog” and he has bitten people so that didn’t help

Anyone that pisses him off he has bitten and made comments about how he ‘licked your stuff’ to scare them. You play stupid games you get stupid prizes. The goblins love him so you are out of luck

Speaking of them, it’s actually canon he was taken in as a curse breaker after Hogwarts. Meaning he’s probs one of the youngest curse breakers ever at being 17-18. So the goblins 100% are a bunch of old men with their ginger kid. Fuck with him? You have to deal with a bunch of angry goblins. Leave their adopted ginger alone!

16 notes · View notes

mylifeisjustafeverdream · 25 days

Text

A Retelling of My Mind Whilst Reading Shadow Kissed-

Omg it's the Sixth Sense up in this bitch

Bitch when are you ever "just tired" when weird shit starts happening to you, I swear to fuck.

Rose is so me because I too would rather die than spend an extended amount of time with my best friends boyfriend.

Eddie Castile the man that you are.

From the bottom of my heart I hope Jesse gets his shit rocked.

Omg Rose girl do something, ANYTHING. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING US.

Least Favorite Trope: Entire plot would be resolved if this dumbass just like communicated the issues she is having OMFG.

If Rose Hathaway has no haters all her teachers must be dead because wtf is their issue???

Homegirl is unstable at best.

I feel like at this point she should probably go to where Mason the Friendly Ghost is pointing.

Girly-pop that's not a migraine....

I do not fucking trust that bitch Tatianna

*Viktor explains master plan* "Cool motive still murder"

*Law and Order sounds*

HE JUST SAID THAT SHIT IN OPEN COURT IT'S ON THE RECORD

How much of an asshole do you have to be that it's more believable that you're lying than a crime having actually happened lol

Lissa is so clueless it's kinda funny.

You know what I hope Rose fucks Adrienne and gets pregnant just to spite Tatianna.

She wants her nails done omg she's just a girl 🥺

*starts looking at my tarot book to see if this is accurate*

I love when Dimitri starts lore dropping to Rose

Well.... I think they know about the ghosts now.

That doctor is the only rational adult at the school cause literally why tf didn't she talk to a counselor.

Her therapist just clocked her so hard.

Well that's an unfortunate fact about Shadow Kissed Anna

Dimitri took part in that attack exercise specifically so she would hop on it lmao

Can't even celebrate for a moment before Lissa is off doing something dumb I swear to god

Lissa try not to get tortured challenge go

*New power unlocked*

YES ROSE BEAT HIS ASS GIRL......oh shit.....GIRL YOU GOT HIM IT'S GOOD.

She's like a feral cat.... Dimitri should use a spray bottle.

Oh my GOD IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE REMAIN FUCKING CALM

Girl you gotta give me more details than that PLEASE

"My body ached" that'll happen when your first time is with a 6'7 Russian built like a tank

CAN WE NOT HAVE ONE GOD DAMN MOMENT OF PEACE

Girl I'm gonna throw up he's all alone out there.

CHRISTIAN OZERA THE MAN THAT YOU ARE

HE DIDN'T DIE THANK FUCK

Mason upstaging Dimitri even from the afterlife that's my man right there.

SECRET TUNNELS, SECRET TUNNELS THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS

The uncanny ability that 17 year old female herions have to radicalize societies is amazing

Do y'all think Dimitri came up with that life plan while he was fighting the strigoi?

"You're scared of my mother" um yea girl she's fs going to catch an attempted murder charge once she finds out.

*Clenched my jaw so tight during the cave fight it started to hurt*

Oh my God girl stop internal monologuing about how everything is going to work out THAT ALWAYS GOES POORLY

Oh God it's that blonde bitch from earlier this is going to be so much worse than him being dead.

Rose: *literally tries to throw herself back into a vicious attack just to save Dimitri's body*

Everyone Else: She just respected him as a teacher so much there's no other possible explanation.

Lissa clocking what was happening with Rose and Dimitri just now is like when someone steals the answer on Wheel of Fortune after the other contestant mispronounced the phrase

*Knows it's definitely going to happen* "Dimitri is a strigoi"*gasps*

I'm shocked they didn't grab like a single Guardian teacher to try and talk down Rose like why tf did they think Kirova would have any affect.

I know it's not malicious on Lissa's part but I'm glad Rose is finally speaking about how one sided this relationship is.

"Off to kill the man I love" oh this next book is going to fuck me up.

#Shadow Kissed #vampire academy #rose hathaway #dimitri belikov #vasilisa dragomir #romitri

16 notes · View notes

deeply-unserious-fellow · 4 months

Text

In the mood to give my weird, probably biased WOY hot take rn so here it goes: Wander and Hater would not last in a romantic relationship.

Like, I do GET the appeal of them as a pairing? It's enemies to lovers! Everybody loves a good enemies to lovers. Plus, WOY really LOVES doing that thing where they throw a LOT of romance coding into non-romantic relationships(Deathglare gets a lot of this too lmao), and Wander is just like. Weirdly flirty? With Hater especially but also just in general. Like I get the impression that that man fucks. He and Jeff have probably had a one-night stand. But I don't think their personalities are compatible for a long-term romantic relationship.

First of all: they're both really impulsive and flighty. Which I guess could work in a relationship if both partners were completely insync with eachother, but Wander and Hater. Aren't. They are not. Plus, putting two people with short attention spans together with nobody to keep them in check is a RECIPE for disaster. There's also Hater's temper, which I don't think any amount of character development would be able to take out completely, and Wander's penchant for frustrating. Everybody. He is a very frustrating person to be around. And while I don't think a long-term romantic SkeletonDance would turn ABUSIVE, like that is ABSOLUTELY taking it too far, I do think it would be VERY unstable. They have the EXACT wrong traits in common, and the traits they DON'T have in common just straight up don't mesh well. I could see them getting together impulsively, because there is some chemistry there, but eventually the relationship would deteriorate from a combination of opposing values and goals, mutual short attention spans, and Wander getting on Hater's nerves. They'd break up, and depending on the circumstances it could end up VERY MESSY. They work better, in the long term, as friends then as romantic partners.

SO, now to address my biases, because there are a few, and I think it's important to acknowledge any potential flaws in your perspective while making an argument. First one being: I just prefer other Hater ships? Like yall know me, I'm a Deathglare girlie til the end lmfao. They're LITERALLY my OTP, you can see the influence the pairing has had on me in pretty much every other ship I've obsessed over since. But like... I'm also a multishipper, and Deathglare isn't exempt from that. I don't have any alternate pairings for Peepers(because he doesn't really interact w/ anybody outside of the main 4 and Dom for some reason and I don't like him w/ any of them except Hater), but I DO have a pretty big one for Hater, and that's Skullhunter(Hater x Ripov). Idk I just think they're kinda cute! And uh. Also a rarepair. Like there's NO content for them omfg- probably because Ripov only had one episode and there are already much more popular Hater pairings... bUT I'm getting off topic, what does this have to do with my potential anti-Skeletondance bias? Well, both of my Hater ships are VASTLY overshadowed by Skeletondance. Like I think Skeletondance is the MAIN pairing in the WOY fandom, and both of my prefered Hater ships kinda get left in the dust, at least in terms of content volume. I believe that at least part of what leads people to hate on popular things in a desire to have what THEY like be mainstream so it's easier to find a community, and I am not exempt from that. I generally like to believe I'm neutral on Skeletondance overall, but there might be some subconcious jelousy directed towards people who prefer Skeletondance that makes me think the pairing just wouldn't work. Also, I headcannon Wander as aromantic, which definitely influences my interpretation of their relationship akrngosmfmekkfoemfke

So uh, yeah. That's why I don't think Skeletondance would work long term, plus a little dissection of things that might've skewed my perspective a bit! Idk why I made this tbh, I might be going insane-

#wander over yonder #wander #woy wander #wander woy #lord hater #not gonna tag this as ship cuzzzzzzz yeah #gal overanalyzes random shit

19 notes · View notes

murdererofthumbs · 1 year

Text

So today’s episode was a wild emotional rollercoaster for Roman girlies. I honestly think that in order for me to comprehend every episode I need to watch it twice, because first watch is always an over-anxious mess, when I just want to find out what happens, and then I can actually start thinking properly when stress levels are down to normal.

But I do have some thoughts based on both the episode and what people have been saying so far:

1) First, I knew since previous episode that although Kendall was full of shit when he said he will include Shiv in everything, Roman was absolutely serious about that. And he proved it! Literally tried to run every decision by her (and that makes me so happy, because he just wants his siblings to be together and work together and be a fucking family). But on the other hand… We are all aware that Shiv will not take that under consideration, right? As far as she is aware, her brothers fucked her over with their CEO-COO positions and that is enough for her to get vindictive and look for blood. So even though I’m happy that Roman remained true to his word, I also think that Shiv will stab him in the back anyway. Because she IS the most similar to Logan (don’t come at me, I love Shiv, but these are just the facts - if push comes to shove she will leak the whole Gerri-Roman dick incident and bury her brother if it means asserting her position).

2) I think it’s becoming more and more clear that Roman is heading towards some pretty dark place (I don’t think he will be able to hold his delusions for much longer, he is falling apart at the seams and there doesn’t seem to be anything that could fill out the gaping holes inside of him). The fact that each episode of Succession is supposed to be, what, one-two days (it has to be two days in this episode at least), means that since Logan’s death none of them had any breather from the grief and pain that this loss has caused them. But unlike Kendall and Shiv who both in their own ways acknowledged Logan’s passing and made semi (and I mean very semi)-peace with it, Roman is not even near that stage. He is still very much glorifying his dad (that trauma bond is holding very strong in there), and I feel like he might also not be sleeping. You know, sleep? The time when your subconscious mind roams free and brings all your possibly repressed thoughts on the forefront of your mind? Yeah, my bet is on pretty strong sleep deprivation here. Add some extremely palpable anxiety and trying to keep everything together and you have a nice ticking bomb ready to implode at any given moment (and he kinda did implode there with Matsson but it was still very much coated in delusions and projections of his own guilt).

Also - the pills. I know some girlies last week were like “oh guys chill, it’s just advil”, but having them flashed two episodes in the row? Nah, Succession writers don’t seem like the type to provide insignificant shots, and in combination with his nervous exterior, Roman taking some sort of pills makes perfect sense. I don’t know where this will lead to, but I’m trying not to be overwhelmed by negative thoughts (you guys really need to stop with Roman-suicide predictions, just…don’t).

3) Last thing is that as far as we are aware, Roman still doesn’t know that Kendall was the one behind leaking negative stuff about Logan to the media. I feel like they didn’t even get to the good (bad) stuff yet. And can you imagine what will happen then, considering how fucking unstable Roman was in this episode (without all that bullshit adding to his mental state)? Yeah, I don’t wang to imagine, but it will be really fucking bad. My prediction and that might be a stretch, but for some reason I feel like it will all culminate during Logan’s funeral (which I assume will be one of the episodes, considering Connor’s phone call and him sending Roman pics of their dead dad (!!!)). Both the shit about Logan and Roman’s downfall will probably come crushing down at the most difficult moment, where he will actually have to acknowledge that Logan is not only dead, but also very much a piece of shit and abuser.

Anywho, this show is a slaughterhouse and I both love it (derogatory) and hate it (affectionate).

#roman roy #succession #succession hbo #i have both overwhelming amount of thoughts about this episode #but also no thoughts at all #I didn’t even have the mental capacity to get jnto other characters yet #but I am Roman girlie first and foremost and he was a mess this episode so I need to spotlight him first #others will have to wait hntil I gather all my brain cells #kendall roy #shiv roy #connor roy #succession spoilers #succession 04x05

49 notes · View notes