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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 7 months

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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 2 years

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#selfie bee #hello friends!! how are you doing!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ #I'm very very tired today #I woke up very early today because I took a driving lesson!#I have had my licence for many many years now but I haven't driven in so long #and when I tried I just turned on the windshield wipers again and again #so I'm taking some refreshment lessons! I was really afraid of driving again but my new driving teacher is very nice (❁´‿`❁)#my last one scared me a little because he talked a lot about bathroom renovation #I just drove for an hour or so but I was so concentrated that I'm very tired now #I have another lesson tomorrow because I deleted every information in my brain about how to park a car #all those synapses are currently used to remember Godzilla facts #another big news!!#I saw a PHEASANT last week #we almost hit it with the car but luckly it remembered in time that it was a bird and flew away #I've NEVER seen a pheasant before!! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I knew that pheasants were real because my favourite cartoon as a child was animals of farthing wood #and there's pheasants in it and then they get murdered and all the other animals are like 'oh well'#but I had never seen one!#I feel like a stronger person now #one that can drive a car #maybe even park one ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #have a wonderful evening friends #<3

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hychlorions · 1 month

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a what-if i've been thinking about for forever... trucy knowing the truth before anyone could tell her

#trucy wright #apollo justice #ace attorney #.png #ough ough ough how many times has she helped 'ruin' someone's life...#like what if when she was so desperate to help phoenix get acquitted she gets hit in the face with the realization that #she might just be ruining her new-found brother's life too #so yeah. how would she even bring that up #haha hey polly. remember that time i handed you fake evidence. well did you know i saw your bracelet and remembered my mom had one too. fun #by the way did you know she told me she had two and gave one to her first-born who she lost a long time ago #like do we know how much trucy remembers about their mom. no! that's why i think this could work #ough i've wanted to make this comic for so long but i never knew how to format it #well i drew the first panel as warm-up and then was like. why not go all the way....#that way i'd be forced to really think about composition

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a2zillustration · 1 month

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Gale and I had the exact same reaction when we opened that door.

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#this puzzle took me way too long bc I knew the answer but for some reason my brain thought the king could move in new and mysterious ways #It's been a hot minute since I've played chess and I was never very good at it lmao #It's canon that Croissant knows how to move the pieces but doesn't know any proper strategies #They would love for Gale to play with them and teach them more #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #act III spoilers #ansur quest #REMEMBER WHEN I SAID BLOCK THAT TAG IF YOU HAVEN'T DONE THIS YET?#THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING BEFORE THE BIG SPOILERS HAPPEN #croissant adventures #tav #gale #gale dekarios #gale x tav #breadweave #comics #WAIT I FORGOT there's gonna be a quick break in comics rn - I'll try to fill the gap with asks and other artwork #we'll be back on schedule on Monday!

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doctorsiren · 24 days

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thinking about Phoenix Fulwright….😳

#doctorsiren #ace attorney #phoenix wright #bobby fulbright #ace attorney spoilers #aa5 spoilers #miles edgeworth #apollo justice #simon blackquill #judge ace attorney #the phantom ace attorney #ace attorney fanart #digital art #my art #procreate #dude…#when I think about Bobby I GET SO SAD #because we never knew the real him…#AND I THINK AHOUT #about Blackquill…#blackbright please save me BUT YOU CANT BC ONE OF YOU IS FAKE #SIMON NEVER GOT TO KNOW THE REAL BOBBY #I really like the theory that Bobby was Sebastian’s older brother (i haven’t played AAI2 yet shh)#and like…he would have been friends with everyone….BUT NOO #LIKE CMON I DREW BOBBY BEING AN ANNOYING YOUNGER BROTHER FIGURE TO GUMSHOE MONTHS BACK #AND THEN A FEW **DAYS** AFTER I DREW THAT I WAS SPOILED ABOUT THE PHANTOM #BY BOBBY’S WIKI PAGE #I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR THE DUDE’S HEIGHT AND I GOT ENDGAME SPOILERS LIKE BRO WHAT #I WAS DEVASTAED #anyways yeah thanks Capcom for putting Phoenix’s face on that body hehehehehehehehe

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a-h-li · 10 months

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how cruel, how comforting

#long post #hollow knight #hollow knight fanart #hornet hollow knight #herrah the beast #forget about hornets dad issues her MOM issues omg #she had to live with her mothers comatose half dead body for how long??#do you think that screws with a person? because she knows her mothers face and probably has a few memories of her from when she was little #but hornet never really *knew* herrah #she only knew her corpse #so #whether this is really herrah or hornet’s radiance fueled fever dream can be up to interpretation #my art

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myoonmii · 16 days

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I think the downright most horrific and brutal detail in the show is that Kilgharrah actually used Merlin to make sure Arthur's death happened with the pretence of protecting him

#kilgharrah when i catch you #this is why merlins “ i failed? ” destroyed me to my core #you were never supposed to succeed love #I honestly believe Kilgharrah knew Arthur was supposed to die at Camlaan and just wanted to make sure he didn't die BEFORE that #thats why he was like ooh but Merlin you must protect him and make sure he survives ( until its the convenient time)#and merlin genuinely thought he could protect Arthur until the end #say what you want about Kilgharrah and what his intentions might be behind this but this is SO FOUL #and now Merlins waiting for Arthurs return for a thousand years on Kilgharrah's word alone because thats the only hope he has #what else can he do #lets just hope he's right this time #bummed my self out with this thought while doing my class work #merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #cannot take much more of this guys send help

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poopystain · 2 months

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short animation intended as a fun little remake of one i made a whole 5 years ago

old underneath cut

#undertale #frisk #flowey #flowey the flower #my art #my animations #< now thats a tag you will probably never see again #IGNOREEE THE FLIPANIM LOGO I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER (BETTER) ANIMATING THINGS EVEN ALL THESE YEARS LATER #i dont think i even knew a whole lot about undertale when i made the old one?? so i dont know why i was animating that of all things #additional tag in case this wasnt. like. totally clear ? this isnt a ship nor was it intended as a ship in the original

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aslyran · 4 months

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A moment of respite

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tanglepelt · 8 months

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Dc x dp idea 119

Sam and Danny accidentally blow up social media. Except Danny just gets to laugh at the headlines.

Recluse Manson daughter and *insert Batkid name here* caught red handed

It was another fake out make out fiasco. Sam had agreed to go to a stupid gala. Only because vlad was going. Danny hated his eyes in front of his mom to make vlad take him along. He doesn’t trust the fruitloop.

Of course she and Danny were finding out why vlad had to come to this particular Galla in Gotham. It was some stupid overshadowing scheme. They put a stop to it and Danny phased them into the coat closet.

They didn’t think a reporter had managed to get into the gala. Let alone get a picture of them.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #sam and Danny’s fake out make out #who let the reporter in??#no one payed attention or noticed Danny at the gala #chalked him up as a Wayne kid #or his just went invisible when people looked like they were going to talk to them #vlad did force him to meet brucie Wayne #the bats knew something was up #but the scheme never Happened???#oracle what do you mean he’s just gone #Danny dealt with the duplicates in secret #no need to get attention from the bats #his fragile heart wouldn’t survive an interrogation #danny phantom #sam Manson

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hedgehog-moss · 7 months

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I bought a cushion for my fireside chair with a mouse from Beatrix Potter's Tailor of Gloucester and it's the best financial investment I've made in a while, I smile every time I see it

#i found this book i don't remember where when i was 10ish and tried to read it. very audacious seeing as i knew like 50 words of english #i skimmed through it looking for words i recognised. mouse. snow. coat etc #then i encountered the phrase ''worsted chenille'' and it was the last straw #i knew what worst means. it means very bad. it's in past tense for some reason. and chenille is a caterpillar. in french for some reason #and this doesn't make the sentence any more intelligible! i thought it was about clothes? wasn't this guy making a coat #what role does the worst caterpillar play in this project #it was demoralising i felt like english & i would never work. you can know the words and they still don't make sense #the words worsted chenille have haunted me ever since

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guest-1-2-3 · 9 months

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When Ballister and Ambrosius were swordfighting and Ambrosius was like “What? You’re gonna kill me now too?” and Ballister was like “You believe that? Then you never knew me at all.” Then when Ballister goes up to Nimona and is like “Is this you?” and Nimona goes “You think that I would do that? That that’s who I am?” Man. mannnnnn this movie does things to me

#nimona #nimona spoilers #“then you never knew me at all” i fucking died #but when ballister went around and accused nimona of being a mass murderer and i was like OH #OH NO SIR

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caelanglang · 1 year

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itadakimasu . gochisousamadesu .

#well. i have no excuses this all began with the urge to draw happy dazai and flustered chuuya #dazai was planning to manipulate chuuya into bringing the same food but chuuya went im out bye before he could say another word lmao #i was drafting this idea thinking that it would be short and sweet but the next thing i knew they started bickering on my sketches then boom #a longass comic was born dam it.#kids pls stop bickering and making my life harder /j #anyways thank you for reading jashlkdjghsg not really that happy with this #i swear i was giggling when i imagined it in my head kajshfklsf #is chuuya smiling or frowning at the end we will never know #skk #teen skk #chuuya's cooking supremacy #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #fluff #sketch #comic #my art #im so rusty with comics aaaaa #stay healthy kids #soukoku #my comic

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year

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This is the start of something new

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#Poorly Drawn MDZS #MDZS #wei wuxian #lan wangji #season 1 #*I never knew that it could happen till it happened to me*#Listen there were so many good scenes I wanted to draw and maybe one day I will but dang #sometimes when there are too many good moments to draw in a summary comic you have to abridge them into something that gets the vibes #The teen boy shenanigans that wwx drags lwj into are fine and good and *funny*#but they are also 15 and 15 year olds will say whatever comes to mind whether its well formulated or not #Less of a gay awakening and more of a moment of realizing that theres a door labeled 'homosexual thoughts' in the back of the house #and someone just threw a baseball into the window of it #poor lwj for he now spends the rest of his teen and young adult years haunted by this moment #only to cultivate it into a garden in which he will one day marry this man #Live your life in a way that would make teen you implode -> my daily advice column wisdom #Side note: this comic is vertical because I...ran out of space on my page. I have been meaning to experiment though #might continue like this? Maybe...

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six-legged-sea-leopard · 1 year

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no i am not over how one of the first things kris does of their own accord without our input is to lay down their life for this weird ipad kid they met five hours ago no i am not over "hell yeah i am here to humiliate you fucker" no i am not over "did you miss me? because i missed you!" no i am not over how much not only susie but also kris (and ralsei) genuinely care about their new adopted little cousin guy and the fact that he went from having no friends at all to 3 ride or die bffs who were willing to do what every adult in his life failed to do which is stand up for him i-

#im gonna fucking throw up lancer's relationship with all of the fun gang is literally so important to me #hes gone his whole life surrounded by people but so incredibly alone for a multitude of reasons NONE of which are his fault #every grown ass adult in that castle knew he was suffering but did NOTHING about it #so to see these teenagers (OTHER KIDS) not only take him under their wing and include him whenever possible #but also stand up and say 'NO. no you will NOT get away with that' when his shithead dad abuses him #going so far as to put their own asses on the line for him because they fucking care #and lancer loves them back!!! hes saved the fun gang's asses twice in as many chapters #the first instance being when he did something he's NEVER done before and took up hands against his dad #the affection in his dialogue when he talks about kris and susie and ralsei #calls them all funny nicknames and says that he misses them...#shaking and crying and throwing up and falling down thr stairs and astral projecting #im so so os so so normal about these characters i promise #deltarune

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sophiasrant · 2 days

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The batfam aren't allowed to play hide and seek with each other bc it will get dangerous and life threatening very quickly.

They aren't allowed to play with other people bc the one time they did, all of the bats went missing for a week. The supers ended up having to be called in so they could track heartbeats.

#sophia rants #i like to think they were playing with the flashes #bruce probably didn't play bc he actually had to fight crime but he also knew where his kids were the whole time #anyway kon probably freaked out when bart came to him #“YOU LOST TIM??????”#“only a little bit. not forever.”#Jon never lost track of Damian but he was wondering why Damian was in Star City in the Flash's apartment #batfam #dc #batfamily #batman #robin #batman and robin #damian wayne #dick grayson #bruce wayne #jason todd #tim drake #shitpost

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