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can-u-imagine-that · 5 years

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Title: Forgiveness;

Fandom: The Avengers;

Character: Bucky;

Note: Y/N: Your Name; Y/E/C: Your Eye Color;

Warning: Violence;

Request: Can you please do one with Bucky and a female reader where someone gets him in Winter Soldier mode and he ends up hurting her? And then feels super bad about it but she reassures him its not his fault. Thx <3

You had no idea how you got into that situation.

Each time Bucky swing his fists, they got closer and closer to hitting your face.

The Winter Soldier started to suddenly attack all the Avengers with full force after a weird man managed to get himself alone with him. You were nothing but a S.H.I.E.L.D field trainee so all you could do was avoid the heavy and skilled fists of the Winter Soldier.

“Y/N, dodge!” Captain America shouted behind your back, so you, in a complete blind trust wave, rolled to your left, hearing when his shield collided with Bucky’s chest.

They engaged on a fierce fight, both having super soldier abilities making it hard for you to even comprehend their moves.

Bucky had a look on his face that gave you chills.

Nothing.

Literally nothing.

And that hurt you pretty bad because you grew close to him, developing an actual huge crush on the ex-HYDRA agent. He was hard to get close to, but since Bucky was the one being your trainer, you got to spent a lot of time together.

And seeing him acting as the Winter Soldier again made your heart ache because he told you after the 15th time he got you purple bruises how much he suffered.

He just told you because you two had a little game.

Every time he got you a new purple bruise mark, you’d ask him a question about anything you wanted. You once asked for it as a joke and in the end he took it seriously.

It started with silly questions but soon they were replaced by serious ones. He never minded answering though and you enjoyed a lot how honest he could be with you. You felt honored to have his trust, because given his past he had a lot of issues to allow himself to grow close to anyone. The man had built walls around him, walls that after a lot of time you finally managed to break.

You could feel in your heart and it made you the happiest person in the world. To see his rare smiles and to watch him as sometimes he would insist in tending to your scratches from training.

Seeing the Winter Soldier instead of James Buchanan Barnes hurt.

An explosion happened and you saw Cap being throw somewhere down the window of the building.

You were alone with him.

You froze in fear when his icy blue eyes locked in your Y/E/C ones.

“B-Bucky...” you whispered, leaning slowly towards and iron pipe that was ripped out of the wall “It’s me... remember?”

For a second something shifted in his eyes and a little tingle of hope twisted in your stomach. But as soon as you felt, it was already gone, replaced by a groan while he charged against you.

You swing the pipe in his direction but he grabbed easily. It felt like you were a kid hitting their parents with a silly plastic toy.

He crushed the pipe with his metal arm while the other flew on the direction of your face. You managed to dodge, feeling at least a little better that his fighting style was the same. You could keep avoiding his blows until someone got there.

Just as you felt a little braver after dodging another blow, he got you.

And he got you bad.

He kicked you right in your ribcage, making you lose your breath and drop your defensive stance. He pushed his metal hand right into your face, making you fall on the ground, hitting your head hard. Thankfully you had the S.H.I.E.L.D helmet on which helped easing the blow. Even so you were completely dizzy, but managed to grab a rock that had fallen from the wall where Captain America’s shield had hit after colliding with Bucky and hit him right in the forehead with it.

You stop up, runing towards the entrance, knowing you had no chance against him in a combat.

Running you found the stairs that lead to the main entrance hal of the Avenger’s Facility, but as you were quickly going down he grabbed you by the waist, throwing you against the wall.

Yep, there goes another rib.

“Bucky! Bucky, please!” you pleaded, completely scared.

This time you saw nothing reflect in his eyes, but somehow his grip losened and you pushed him away, finishing your descent through the stairs ending on the hal.

Just a little bit more.

The pain on your sides was starting to become unbearable, but you kept running.

And then he caught up with you again.

And this time you were not so lucky.

Bucky managed to grab the back of your neck, lifting you out of the ground while you kicked and debated. Then he approached a wall and slamed you against it. You used your arms to protect your face and remain awake.

Your vision started to blur and when you noticed he was going to slam you again in a last attempt to escape you passed your arm around his, turning half of your body in his direction, kicking his chest with all your strength. He lost balance and with the balance his grip also loosened. You squirmed out of his metal fingers, falling with a loud sound to the ground on your belly.

“H-help...” you gasped, dragging your numb body to escape. He grabbed your ankles and pulled you towards him, twisting your body so that you were facing up, then sat on your waist, locking your body under his.

Your scream echoed throughout the building.

And then he punched.

The first punch hurt like a bitch.

The second like your weak stepmother when you got to her nerves.

The third like a small push.

On the fourth punch you didn’t feel anything.

You blacked out, but had lapses of consciousness. You remember hearing voices all around you and then someone carring you outside, since the sunlight blinded you for a second. Being put in the stretcher and looking to the courtyard of the Avenger’s Facility. When you looked there you remember seeing Bucky.

Your Bucky.

And he had a desperate look in his eyes when his gaze met yours.

You wanted to say something, but your vision started to blur completely again.

And this time you just woke up again in the hospital, with voices around your bed.

“How do you know you can trust him? Look what he did to Y/N!”

“It wasn’t him and you know!”

“Whatever man. What if another crazy lunatic gets in here and recites the magical bibbidi bobbidi boo and boom super Winter Killer at your service?”

Silence.

“She was lucky, Steve. And you know it. She was lucky she had that helmet on and lucky she knew most of his usual moves. Otherwise, she might’ve been dead by now.”

“He is already feeling like shit, Sam. I don’t want to make things worse...”

You groaned and the voices came to a halt.

“Y/N?”

You coughed a little.

“Hi...”

While trying to open your eyes you felt a sting of pain and noticed that the left one was a little swollen.

“You were out for a whole day.” stated Captain America, sat on a chair at the edge of your bed.

“Whe-... Where’s B-Bucky?”

Steve smiled. You were out for a hole day, probably had your entire body completely sore yet the first thing you inquire about is Bucky’s whereabouts.

“Locked.” you heard Sam’s voice, but couldn’t turn your head enough in the neck brace to see him.

“No... how could you?” if your throat wasn’t sore, you’d have said louder, but it came almost as a painful whimper.

Sam sat on the feet of the bed, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Look what he did to you, Y/N. I don’t care what you feel about him, but this kind of thing can’t become a trend. We were lucky the media didn’t hear of any of this. Otherwise, things could’ve gone worse for him.” he explained, trying to remain calm “Besides. He asked for it.”

Of course he did. He probably felt like trash.

“It’s not his fault...” you muttered after a pause.

Sam sighed.

“I know that. Believe me, I do. But while we can’t figure out who that guy was and how the hell he managed to find that code to activade Bucky’s killer mode, he wants to be locked away, somewhere only Captain and Nick Furry know.” he explained.

You remained silent.

No way.

You had to see him.

Had to tell him you didn’t blame him or anything about it. Because you knew him enough to know how bad he was feeling. He hadn’t hurt only you. He knocked out three other S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Luckly there were no casualities.

When Sam left you and Steve alone you turned to the blond.

“I know what you’re going to ask and I can’t.” through his voice tone you knew that he would not be that hard convincing.

“Please... Cap... I need to see him. Talk to him. You can take me blindfolded if you want. Just one time is enough. You know he needs to hear me out.”

“He does. But not in your actual state, Y/N. If he see you that bruised, you know he will never forgive himself. Just...” his hands roamed through his hair “Just... let the swolleness on your eye get better.”

You nodded.

“Thank you...” you smiled a little at him “I mean it, Steve...”

The week passed slowly.

T O O S L O W L Y.

Your eye was finally not swollen, but still had a purple hue around it. But you couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky. You had no idea of how both of you would react seeing each other, but soon you would find out.

Captain took you to whatever facility that was blindfolded as promised.

When you were able to see around you again your heart clenched. Heck it looked like a freaking dungeon. It wasn’t light enough, the walls where clearly really thick and the cells looked like actual prisions with iron bars (which were probably made out of Vibranium).

You looked at Steve.

“This is where he is being held?”

Steve seemed to share your thoughts, looking sadly at the cells.

“Unfortunately this was the only S.H.I.E.L.D facility completely hidden from any file and not being used for anything. Furry said it was build especialy for Soldiers like us.”

“You mean him...” you muttered biterly.

He sighed.

“He is on the last cell with the 2-014 number. I’ll wait for you here. Take as long as you need. You just need to put on this code on the panel.” he handed you a piece of paper with a long number code.

You thanked him, walking towards the end of the corridor, feeling as your legs seemed to weight a ton each.

Finding the cell, you digited the number, noticing how your fingers trembled.

Bucky sat on the ground even though there was a bed and a chair on the room. He had his elbows supported by his knees and his head hang low. His hair made it hard for you to see his face and he didn’t even flinch when the door opened.

You licked your dry lips, the tears welling up on the corners of your eyes already, just by the sight of his depressed demeanor.

“B-Bucky?” you tried, flinching when his head shot up abruptly.

You were the last person he ever expected to see there.

He stared at you for a long while, getting up slowly. All the words disappeared from your mind under his piercing gaze. Bucky was acting as if you were a ghost, his eyes going from the top of your head to your feet. He reached to your face, his fingers lingering near your cheek without touching you. And you knew why.

Gulping you lifted your own hand, holding his hesitant one and pressing it against your face.

He let out a breath as his other hand made the same path, this time straight to your cheek.

“Y-Y/N...” he whispered, his voice hoarse and broken “Y/N. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

His eyes closed while his forehead touched yours, making your stomach round the twist on your belly. Bucky was never that... physical except when he really needed to. You could feel the hurt on his voice and it broke your heart.

“I’m okay... it’s not your fault...” you whispered.

You barely finished what you had said and he snapped out of whatever it was he was feeling, walking away from you.

Uh-oh. Stupid mouth, should have remained silent. You scolded yourself in your head.

“You shouldn’t have come here.” he said, his voice suddenly cold, turning his back to you “I’ll tell Furry that Steve can’t be trusted with the information of where I’m placed.”

“Steve didn’t tell me where we are. He brought me here with my eyes blindfolded.” you explained in a shaky voice “Bucky, look at me, please...”

“I’m sorry...” he repeated “I can’t look at you...”

“What? Why not?” you asked a little louder this time, taking a step closer to him but stopping when he closed his hands in fists “Bucky. Why not?”

“Y/N, please leave.”

“No, I won’t leave.”

“Yes, you will. You have to, right now, STEVE!” he called loudly, making you jump a little back.

“NO! STEVE DON’T YOU DARE TO COME HERE.” you screamed back “And you, turn and look at me, now!”

“I don’t want to, Y/N!”

“WHY NOT?”

“BECAUSE-” he turned and you widened your eyes when you saw his blue eyes glossy with unfalling tears. He continued with a softer voice while his eyes averted to the side “Because. I can’t look at you... with all these purple bruises and this bandages... knowing that I did it. That I hurt you.”

You took a deep breath and stepped closer to him again.

“Bucky... I don’t blame you for this-”

“I know you don’t.” he interrupted, noticing how close you were but being unable to walk away “That’s the problem. You should.”

“Never.” you slowly reached to his face, feeling his stubble and slipping to his hair, watching how he didn’t move away from you, actually leaning into your touch. He was so painfuly and obviously broken and even tired of blaming himself “I will never blame you for what those people did to you. You will always be the kindest trainer I ever had. Who pushes me to the edge but who also tends my wounds. Who has all the patience in the world with my silly questions. The strongest and bravest men I’ve seen and not because of your physical strenght, but because of yout heart. After everything we’ve talked about... after I learned all those things you had to go through. Do you really think I would blame you? After getting to know who you really are? Hell, Bucky, I even feel in love with you.”

The last part actually wasn’t supposed to be said, but it came out so naturally you just noticed when he inhaled sharply, hugging the air out of your body in a bone crushing embrace.

“Ah, broken ribs, ribs, ribs.” you whispered, actually riping out a little laugh of him. He loosened his arms, still holding you, this time lightly and you couldn’t help but crack a little joke being actually really freaking nervous because you just confessed your feelings without intending to “Y’know... I think I rather you breaking my bones this way...”

“You are unbelievable.” he whispered against your neck, making you shiver a bit “I don’t even know what I can do to earn your forgiveness...”

You whacked the back of his head.

“I already told you that it’s okay.” you allowed yourself to hug him back, feeling your heart skip a beat when he kissed your forehead gently “But if it makes you feel better we can try that little game of ours..”

He looked at you, never letting go of your waist, questionly.

“I don’t think any question you can ask will ever be enough to suffice the amount of bruises I gave you.” he stated, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

“Then perhaps we can boost it. Instead of a question you can do something for me. How that sounds? And before you say anything, I know you won’t come out of here so soon.”

“Fine... what do you want?” you could tell he was already feeling much better then when he first saw you, so a smile made way to your lips.

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes out of your lips, because he always loved your smile the most. And of course he hadn’t forgoten your little confession. He was just waiting for the right moment to bring it up again.

Since you had already told Bucky about your feelings for him you had nothing to lose anymore, so before you could change your mind you spoke really fast in a burst of confidence that lasted just until the last word left your mouth.

“You can take me somewhere. Like a date or something.”

“Or something?” he repeated.

“Y-Yeah... well...” your face started to heat up under his gaze and your burst of courage ran away somewhere with you ability to create proper speach “I-I mean... if you... uh... d-d-don’t want to...”

He cut you by pressing his lips against yours softly, humming in contentment when your arms circled his neck and brushed the hair of his nape lightly. You could feel he was still uncertain of how to touch you, being really careful not to hug to tight, and also making sure he was bending so you didn’t have to strach much to reach him.

You smiled against his lips, feeling how the pace of your heart raced when meting with his beautiful blue eyes.

“Is that really all I have to do to earn your forgiveness?”

Slowly a smirk started playing on his mouth and you could not help but to mirror it when you answered, your lips inches apart of his.

“Maybe you could give me a few more kisses and then I can think about it...”

#bucky imagine #winter soldier imagine #bucky barns imagine #bucky barns #avengers imagine #avengers imagines #the avengers #winter soldier #myimagine #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #female reader

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aralty · 6 years

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Rain || K. Namjoon

Dokkaebi are legendary creatures that possess extraordinary powers and abilities that are used to interact with humans, at times playing tricks on them and at times helping them. They are nocturnal creatures, but can also come out during the day if it rains or it's foggy.

He had the face and body of an angel, but his shadow was terrifying: horns on his head, mouth full of blades-like teeth and long, pointed claws. As he moved, shadow following him, you could almost sense the death hitting you. But for some strange reason, he kept on repeating “You're going to be fine.”

GENRE: supernatural, fluff, angst

PAIRING: Y/N x Dokkaebi Namjoon

WARNINGS: Cursing, Blood

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hi beautiful people.

Someone requested a supernatural AU a while ago, and I know this isn't your typical werewolf/demon story but I wanted to do something more intricate, so I decided to write about a legendary creature that comes from the Korean folklore.

I hope you like it as much as I loved writing it,

I love you all.

As you waited under the canopy of a building for the rain to calm down, you realized that waiting or not, to run to the other side of the street to take the bus wasn't gonna make a difference: all your paper bags and and the coffees in them were completely wet.

It was a cold, rainy Monday morning, and as all the days of the week, the first task was to bring some coffee for your boss and her coworkers. You had gotten your job as an assistant for an important worker of a big company not too many months before that rainy morning, but you surely had had many chances to get fired in that little time.

It was your first proper job, and it wasn't an easy one. Plus, the weather conditions in Seoul that winter weren't helping you.

You stepped out of the safe zone created by the canopy, and as you ran, not caring about the drinks eventually spilling, you felt every single drop of rain piercing your skin despite all the layers of clothing you had on.

Luckly, the bus arrived as soon as you got to the bus stop, so you got in and took a seat, placing down the bags and trying to find some wipes in the bag that seemed like it had come out of the ocean.

Your stockings were completely drenched, and the heels you had to put on everyday were causing you so much pain that you weren't sure you would have the strength to get up again, once you had to get off the bus.

The ride wasn't that long usually, but the rain messed up the traffic in the city center. You took a look at the clock on your phone: 8.14

Fuck.

There was no way you would have reached your workplace in one minute, and you weren't in the mood to hear your boss shouting at you and blaming you for the lack of her daily coffee.

You heavily sighed as the driver opened the doors for you to get off the bus, many minutes later.

Another run to the door of the building and you're set, Y/N, you told yourself.

But sadly, luck wasn't on your side that day, because once you managed to get into the building, the paper bags that were miraculously keeping your coffees till then, collapsed.

You bit your bottom lip to try not to scream out of frustration.

This is gonna be a very, very though day.

“What do you mean 'The rain ruined the bags'?? Isn't it your damned job to bring here coffee, miss Y/N? Aren't you paid to do that?”. You wouldn't be surprised if the whole building had heard what your boss just shouted at you: her voice was unbearable.

“I am, Miss, but with all the amount of coffees I had to buy in one take, I couldn't use an umbrella to keep them from getting w-”

“Then get up earlier and do more shifts to bring them here, for God's Sake! Use your brain, young lady. This is the last time I'm letting this pass. Next mistake and you're out. Understood?”.

“Yes Miss”.

“Start working then, and try not to mess that up.”.

If the heels were hurting your feet in the morning, you now weren't even sure you had them anymore. You couldn't feel them because you had been walking up and down, left and right all day, trying to be as efficient as possible to please your boss: it didn't work that much though, because as you were getting ready to get out of there, at the end of your shift, your boss demanded you had to work two extra hours that day.

So it was now 22.47, an hour and thirteen minutes away from the end of that day's shift.

You were the only worker left in your floor, and probably in the whole building.

The only sounds you could hear where your fingers on the keyboard and the rain tapping against the windows beside you: it hadn't stopped raining for a second the whole day, and it had been so humid and cold that fog was covering everything on the street, making it much more difficult for the last cars to get home.

Once you couldn't feel your fingertips anymore, you got up of your seat to take something hot to drink: you were freezing in there.

You inserted the filter in the tea maker, and as you waited for the water to heat up, you started thinking about your job.

One more mistake and I'm out.

You were definitely fucked: the weather was gonna be rainy all week, and there was no chance you were gonna wake up even earlier than 5.00 am, especially with the longer shifts you had to do lately. You couldn't afford to lose this job: it was tiring, yes, and you couldn't have had a bitchier boss, but it payed you well, and that was the only thing that mattered to you now.

The rent of your apartment was really high, despite it not being in the center on Seoul, you also had to pay for public transports to get to work: you nearly had no money to buy enough stuff for yourself to life properly, if you managed to lose the job, it would ruin everything.

Some tears streamed down your face, your body lightly shaking. You wiped them off, not caring about the makeup, and took the mug of hot tea to your desk, so you began to work once again.

The elevator opened its door at the last floor, you greeted the receptionist with a small gesture and finally stepped out of that place: it had stopped raining, but the fog had took its place. You couldn't see two steps far from you, and the night being dark wasn't helping either.

You carefully began walking on the sidewalk, careful not to slip because of the street being still wet and you waited for your bus to arrive: your eyelids were so heavy now, and you prayed for the bus to be there soon and to not meet strange people.

With the streets being empty after midnight, the bus was traveling quite fast, and no one had to get off the bus, since the only passengers seemed to be you and a boy, head covered in a cap, body wrapped in a brown jacket.

You were watching out of the window, the landscape changing from industrial buildings to small houses, trees and green gardens.

Your house was near one of the last stops of the bus, and you weren't surprised that the boy was still on it, since the residential area of the city was near the end of this bus' travel.

You could hear the boy humming to some music: you were sure you had heard that melody before, but you couldn't seem to remember the name or where you had heard it, so you just brushed it off as you requested the stop.

You walked to the doors and for a second before they opened, you took a glance at the boy: his face was covered by a scarf, but you felt shivers down your spine as your eyes met. You immediately felt cold, a freezing feeling in your bones so you immediately got off of that bus.

You began walking when you heard the doors beside you opening again and then closing, the cold feeling was getting stronger now, and the familiar melody was louder.

Afraid of getting chased, you almost began running, but you jumped as soon as you felt a strong hand grabbing your shoulder.

“Miss! I was calling you all this time, you dropped these” the boy had a deep and rich voice. You looked at his hand, he had your keys. You were quite sure you didn't pulled them out of the bag tho, and you were also pretty sure he wasn't calling your name as you were walking.

“Thank you...” you said as you carefully took the keys from him, your hand brushing his cold one.

“No problem. I don't want to bother you, but a pretty girl like you, dressed so nicely shouldn't walk alone at this time of the night. You never know who you're gonna meet on the streets, right?” he said with a warm smile, but you were sure you saw the shadow of a sly smirk on his rosy lips.

“Well, I was just heading back home” you responded and you began walking, but the boy seemed to be a little too interested in what you were doing there.

“Well, let me walk you home then. It's probably more safe than walking all alone.” he said convinced as he took a spot beside you, your shoulder brushing lightly.

“Oh I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself, I'm Kim Namjoon.” he said extending his hand for you to shake it.

“Y/N”.

As your hands touched the strange, cold feeling was replaced by something else, something you couldn't quite explain: but you felt safe, better and possibly a little warmer.

“So, do you live near?” you asked with curiosity, intrigued but at the same time intimidated by the man you had on your side,

“Yeah, you could say so...” he said vaguely before smiling again in your direction.

You had to admit it, you never had met such an handsome stranger.

You continued talking, as you walked slowly, and for all that time you couldn't help but focus on his eyes: they were of a light shade of brown, but at times you swore you saw tiny sparkles of gold, sometimes red, sometimes purple.

You finally arrived at your door.

“Well, I guess here we part.” you shyly said.

“I think so, but I'm sure we'll see each other again.” he was smiling, but to you it didn't sound as an hopeful statement: it almost sounded as he knew for sure he was gonna meet you again.

“Y-yeah, we'll see. Good night Namjoon”.

“Good night Y/N, sweet dreams.”.

You got in your house, immediately kicked off your heels and without even changing, you collapsed on the bed, thinking about the bizarre encounter you had just had.

The next day consisted of being woken up by the sound of your boiler.

I didn't put this on the stove..did I? You asked yourself as you got in the kitchen.

You turned it off, not bothering to think about it, when suddenly you heard your alarm in your room.

You took a look at the clock: 4.50 am.

What the hell?

You stood there for a minute, and then you remembered the talk you had with your boss.

You were already awake, so you decided to do as she told you: get up earlier in terms to have more time to do your morning tasks.

At 7.15 you were already on your bus, coffee in plastic bags covered by an umbrella.

At 7.48 you were at your desk, working, coffee already placed on each person's desk.

That day you felt like winning. That day nothing was gonna drag you down.

So you thanked whoever put the boiler on the stove.

Thank God, for helping me.

You felt so stupid, thinking that something like a miracle happened, so you just laughed.

Yes, today was a good day.

“Hi beautiful!”.

Oh shit.

“Namjoon! What a pleasant surprise” you said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Ouch, you hate me that much?” he laughed as you took a place on the other side of the empty bus.

“Nah, just feeling feisty” you replied, smirking to yourself.

“Good, at least you don't feel like total trash as yesterday. Bosses are the worst, right?” he said while unwrapping a lollipop, throwing the wrapping to the ground.

You looked at him confused. How did he know about that. You opened your mouth, but he cut you off “Oh c'mon, why would an office worker feel down if it wasn't for her boss?”. He smirked at you, his lips enveloping the candy.

You stood there, still feeling a bit uneasy, but you tried to brush it off.

“What about you? What brings you on the same bus as me?”

“Who knows, maybe I'm following you” his lips still curled in that stupid smirk, the plastic bit of the candy coming out of them.

“I'm kidding Y/N” he laughed loudly as he saw the shocked look on your face.

“I really hope you are, because you're scaring the fuck out of me”.

His laugh felt so genuine as pleasant, all of a sudden.

Calm down.

And you didn't know, but as you were thinking about his laughter, he was looking shyly at you, taking in every little detail of you.

“I get off at the next stop. No need to accompany me this time” you said, requesting the stop and getting closer to the doors.

“You sure? Why so?” he felt taken back as you confidently took out a pepper spray, sending him a small wink before getting off the bus.

The next days you felt much more relaxed, energetic and peaceful. You organized your day better, trying your best to please your boss and everyone that was around you at work.

Plus, every night you couldn't escape your session with Namjoon, but this time he actually decided he didn't care if you had a pepper spray to be safe, he was gonna walk you home every time.

And everyday your conversations grew more and more: he asked lots of questions about you, and you were more than happy to talk to someone, but when it was your turn to getting to know him better, he suddenly became a lot more vague, usually not even giving an answer to your questions.

It had almost been two weeks since your first encounter with the mysterious boy, and not many days before you decided to do something not really appropriate, and to follow him home.

You weren't a creep, you were just curious: he never told you where he actually lived, and you were planning on surprising him with something to eat during the weekend, when you finally had more time to yourself and to cook something ambitious for once.

You learned he lived just at the end of a parallel street, in an old, ruined wood house. To you it seemed more of a storage space, looking at the dimension of it, you later realized that maybe the boy didn't have much money to live in a bigger home.

So, on a late Saturday morning, after you got out of bed, you went out to go shopping: you had always loved cooking, since you were little, but with the busy work you had, it was pretty difficult for you to find the time to dedicate to your hobby.

That's why, this time, you wanted to give the best you could. You really hoped Namjoon liked chocolate cake.

By the time you got home it was already time for lunch, so immediately after munching a cup of instant noodles, you got to work.

The whole place smelled like chocolate, milk, flour, sugar and you finally felt lighthearted once in a while.

You managed not to burn the cake, which was a total win for you, and after frosting the cake and decorating it with some fresh fruit, you realized it was 19.20 already.

You cut a big slice of the cake, grabbed some tea and put it all in a plastic bag, and after getting dressed you headed out.

You really hoped Namjoon was at home.

The sky was already a dark shade of blue, the moon was on the point of rising, and the chilly air seemed to get inside every crevices you had on your clothes.

You could see the white air coming out of your nose and mouth, and by the time you reached his house, your hand felt like ice.

Is this okay? What if he has guests? What if you were bothering him?

You couldn't lie, you felt nervous. It was the first time you had done this for someone, and by coming to his house with a treat was definitely overstepping some boundaries.

But if a part of you was feeling anxious, there was another part that was shouting to do it.

So you took a step forward and knocked at his door.

At first, nothing happened. You stood there a bit, then knocked again, then waited again.

You were just about to give up, thinking to yourself that you'd never do something like this again, you heard noises coming out.

You heard something strange, something that sounded like muffled screams, groans. Then you heard a louder shout, dripping with pain.

You were getting worried and worried, so you tried opening the door: silly of you, entering in a potential dangerous house with no weapon, but if Namjoon was in pain, you couldn't do otherwise.

The door was opened, so you began running around, trying to be careful and listening to the sounds, as you realized they were coming from the floor above you.

So you took the stairs, heart beating faster than ever, and when you entered the room, you saw something that felt like a punch in the stomach: a man was laying on the ground, surrounded by a black, liquid substance, and beside it you saw him.

He had the face and body of an angel, as always, but his shadow was terrifying: horns on his head, mouth full of blades-like teeth and long, pointed claws. As he moved towards you, shadow following him, you could almost sense the death hitting you.

Your eyes were still fixed on his shadow, you felt like your breath was giving up on you. And as you moved your eyes to watch him again, you saw the horns, and you saw those terrifying, long, pointed claws, covered in black liquid.

“Y/N. Breathe. I'm not gonna hurt you. You're going to be fine” he said calmly, claws turning to normal hands, like magic.

But you were far from fine: you breath was short, uneven, and your heartbeat felt like a hammer on your chest. You couldn't move.

And the last thing you saw before fainting was, again, that terrifying shadow running towards you.

At first, all you saw was black, all you felt was numbness, all you heard was silence.

But as your sense began awakening, you saw white light as you opened your eyes, you felt something soft around you, you heart a soft breathing, beside yours.

“Y/N...”.

His arm was trying to reach your hand, but your heart immediately started pounding against your ribcage, you mind screaming for you go get away from him.

“Don't touch me!” your panicked voice was almost covered by your sobs.

“Y/N, you're gonna be fine, I swear to God I'm not gonna hurt you” you were laying on the edge of what was his bed, he was making his way calmly towards you, his hands up, signaling he had no intentions of hurting you.

“W-What are you?”.

“...you shouldn't have seen what you saw, Y/N.”

“What are you?”.

His face was adorned by a defeated look, eyes that looked glossy, cracked lips. He was shaking.

“We're called Dokkaebi” he started talking as he sat down in front of you, looking down on the dark sheets of the bed.

“We're spirits with powers and special abilities, and we often use them to either trick or help humans...w-what you saw, earlier, was me in my original form. We can manage to cover it up, taking humans' appearances, to not scare anyone of you.”.

“W-what was that thing you...killed?”

“Nothing you should worry about. It's gone now, it's not a problem anymore.”

If your mind was foggy earlier, it was even confused now.

“So, you're telling me I'm not dreaming”

“No”

“Or having a nightmare”

“Neither”

“So you're basically a supernatural creature, and you're telling me you're not alone”.

“Exactly”.

That was a lot, to take it: to understand, to realize that spirits existed, and that one of them decided to invade your life.

“But why me? Why start to get to know me”.

“Again, we can help people. I was looking at you: you were having trouble at work, and troubles to keep your house. So I managed to get your attention by pretending you lost your keys, the first time we met. Then the boiler, and then alarm the next day. And all those little thing you didn't bother to ask youself how they were happening.”.

You took your face in your hands, trying to calm yourself.

“You're gonna be fine.” you heard him saying one more time, a hand on your shoulder, to remind you he was there for you.

The next days were strange: Namjoon made sure you were okay, before letting you go home. As the weekend was passing, he visited to check on you: yes, thing were awkward at first, but the more time passed, the more comfortable you were with him.

When you needed help, he was there and you were getting comfortable with him practicing his magic around you. He would always respond saying it wasn't magic, but teasing him was too much fun to give up.

“So, how was Hogwarts?”

“Is it like, The Force? Did Yoda help you out?”

“Oh wait no, you're an X-Man.”

“If you don't shut up I'll make this plate fly directly on your head.”

And all of a sudden, as time passed by, having a spirit as a friend wasn't that bad.

“I'm hooome!” you shouted as you closed the front door, hands full of groceries bags.

“Why do you always assume I'm at your house 24/7?” his voice was coming from the living room, and a smile appeared on your face as you heard his failed sassy remarks.

“Maybe because you've been living here for what, 3 months?”

“One, I've not been living here, I've been visiting you constantly, there's a difference. Two, I still have a house, so who's telling you I don't go back there when you're away?” he was laying on the couch, black sweatpants and a light blue t-shirt covering his toned chest, eyes fixed on the book in his hands.

“Because at home you don't have fresh food every time you want”

“You sure?”

“And this couch”

“Okay you won.”

You managed to move away his long legs to make some room for you on the couch, and after settling in, you just watched him; his eyes fixed on those black inked words, you could see them surrounded by his thin glasses.

During the last months, you realized how much time you actually spent just looking at him: you never saw him again in his natural form, but you bet it's wouldn't scare you that much. You knew him now.

You knew those deep eyes, pink, plump, soft-looking lips. You knew his deep and rich voice, his strong, toned, clumsy body.

The more you looked at him, the more you realized he wasn't human.

You'd lie if you said that in all that time you never thought about him in a different way than just a “guardian spirit best friend”.

You were falling for him slowly, each time with every touch, with every smile, with every sound of his voice.

He cared about you, the more anyone ever did before.

You smiled at the thought of him hugging you close, kissing you slowly.

“What are you thinking about to smile that much” he asked, looking at you from behind his book.

“Nothing”, still with that smile on your face.

“Well, if you have nothing else to do, we better get those groceries to good use, what about that?”.

“Sure, as long as you don't set the meat on fire again”.

“Oh shut up, I'm not that clumsy”.

“Sure, Nam”.

That Monday morning, you woke up tired. Really tired

As you tried to find something decent to wear, Namjoon had already moved from the couch and was making you breakfast: two hands on the bacon, a floating spatula above the scrambled eggs, toasted bread coming out from the toaster and placing itself on the plate on your wooden table.

“Good morning” his deep voice chimed in as you took in all those scents, trying not to be that grumpy: at least you had good food.

“Morning...” you let out as a yawn, grabbing the butter to put on your bread while the floating spatula was now putting the eggs in your plate.

“You sound tired, did you sleep enough last night?” he said putting on your plate the last bits of your breakfast and then taking a seat in front of you, a cup of coffee in his hands.

“I had to work on lots of things, I really have no idea of when I got to bed. My boss is happy with me but she's so stressed about everything else going on at the company, so she began handing me lots of her work”

“Wait, can she do that? Did she give you a raise?” the look you gave him was enough of an answer.

“That's fucked up...you're doing what she's payed to do, if you think about it” you nodded at you stuffed your mouth.

“I know. Who knows, maybe after I'll do all of what she handed me, she'll give me a raise” you shrugged off.

“I hope so...” he said quietly as he sipped on his coffee, gaze lost outside the window.

As you arrived at your desk, later that morning, you heard your boss shouting.

What a surprise...

“Y/N...Y/N!” he screeched almost running towards you.

“I'm here, I'm here, I was just getting your assignments out.” you apologized, handing her a pile of inked paper sheets.

“Oh thank lord, I hope for you that they're okay...anyway, I have other stuff for you to do, but you'll have to do the here at the office, I can't let you bring those files home. I'll show you later”.

“Sure boss” you sighed , and after she had gone away, you plopped on your chair, covering your face with your hands.

Let's get through this, c'mon.

“Okay so, since you can't do all of these things at home, you'll have to finish them here and today”.

This bitch is crazy. There's no way I'm gonna finish all of this today

“B-boss, I don't think I have enough time to do all of th-”

“That's exactly why you're gonna do a long shift today. When you're done with all of this, transfer the files in an USB and bring them to the receptionist. She'll make sure you have done everything I asked. You won't leave before you're done, understood?”.

“Yes boss.”.

You were on the verge of smashing that computer on her head, but you tried to control yourself from shouting or cursing at her: that was not the way of getting raise.

It had been a long time since you last worked that much at work: your fingertips were hurting, your back too, and your eyes were fighting the urge of closing: you had to finish this thing.

You weren't even halfway when you took your phone to check it, but you realized that your phone was dead: you totally forgot to charge it the night before, and you didn't even bring a charger with you. Plus, the office was empty.

One less distraction to worry about, right?

It was 01.24 when you finished, and you weren't even sure the receptionist was still there.

You took all of your things, transferred the files on that USB and took the elevator to go down.

Near the doors, you noticed that her purse was still there, light all switched on, but her seat was empty.

You placed the USB on her desk, left a note saying what it was and then left: for sure you weren't gonna wait for her, you were on the verge of collapsing. So you got out of there and waited for your usual bus, hoping it was still gonna arrive at that hour.

Getting off of that bus, the only sound in the cold, dark air were you heels on the concrete and night birds. You could feel the warmth of your bed already, and you were seriously thinking about taking a day off to get some rest.

You twisted the keys in your door, cautious to not wake up Namjoon, but you saw him standing in the hallway: he looked furious.

“Care to tell me why the fuck you weren't answering my calls? And why you're getting home now?” his tone brought confusion to your mind.

“I just got stuck to work, Nam. What's the deal?”

“What's the deal? Are you out of your fucking mind?! I was seriously thinking about going around town to search you, Y/N. How am I supposed to act when you're unreachable and not coming home?” his face was getting redder and redder, his voice was louder.

“My phone died, plus I didn't have a charger with m-”

“Ask someone for a phone! Use a public one!”

“Oh right, after spending the whole fucking day working I have to search for a public phone to tell you I'm not dead? Why is it a big deal?” his tone was getting on your nerves, so you began answering back.

“Are you for real right now? Something could have happened in those hours you weren't answering my calls! I stood here, call after call, trying not to go nuts. And you think this is not a big deal? Okay great, sorry for fucking caring about you Y/N” he screamed, his fists clutching to his sides.

“Enough of your bullshit Namjoon, I need to sleep” you said, starting to walk to your room.

But as soon as you moved, you felt a piercing pain on your wrist, and you found yourself on the floor, blood coming out of scratches on your arm.

You looked up at him: horns on his head, claws covered in blood.

You felt the warm blood covering your arm, dripping on the ground.

Silent tears were dripping from his eyes, you read panic and guilt on his face.

He looked back on his claws, dripping then back at your face: you were shocked, shaking.

You were still processing what happened, how he got angry at you, how he snapped, when you saw him taking steps back from you: he was gonna run away.

“N-no” you mumbled.

You didn't want him to leave. You couldn't let him go away.

As soon as he heard your voice, he started walking away from you.

“NO! DON'T GO!” you shouted, crying.

You tried to get up, blood still dripping and ran after him.

You got out of your house, ran after him on the street, and when you finally reached him you fell on your knees.

“Go back inside” he said trying to choke the sobs.

“You can't leave...please” your tears couldn't seem to stop, and then stinging sensation on your arm was almost nonexistent.

“Did you take a look at what I did to you?” he cried as he got on your level, looking at you with pleading eyes.

“Y-you can't leave. You did so much for me, y-you made me feel so fearless and at ease since you've been with me. Y-you can't just go like this...” you were struggling to breathe normally, the pain you were feeling just thinking about him leaving you was atrocious.

“I'm sorry Y/N. I truly am, sorry for hurting you, sorry for deceiving you into thinking you were gonna be safe with me” his sobs calmed down, but now he wasn't looking at you in the eye.

“I was safe with you...I felt so safe that I let myself fall for you....” you weren't even understanding what was coming out of your mouth at this point. The pain, the tiredness were making you dizzy.

And you probably should have never said those words, because as soon as he heard them, you had no one standing in front of you anymore. You were alone in the darkness, your wound was healed, he healed it, but inside you felt broken and even more in pain than before.

You never knew were you found the strength to get back inside your home, or the strength to even close your eyes, and tried to sleep.

And that night, your body was trapped in a blanket, your mind in pain and your eyes in tears.

“When someone leaves you, sometimes is for the better”

that's what you had thought and told yourself every time someone walked out of your life: a friend, a significant other, the love of your life.

It was all momentary pain, one day you'd wake up and realize “Maybe it's better this way”.

Not this time.

This time you didn't woke up to this.

This time a cup of tea and your favorite show weren't gonna be enough.

This time it was so fucking painful.

After a while, you truly felt like you were becoming numb, day after day.

Your heart became a tiny bit more numb every time you didn't see him reading on the couch, every time you didn't feel the smell of food as you woke up: but this way was better, you wouldn't have eaten anyways.

And you didn't. You didn't eat for days. You didn't go to work. You didn't go out.

You couldn't even count the days. You totally forgot about the existence of a routine: your days weren't even days. Sometimes you'd wake up at 2 am, sometimes at 4pm, sometimes you wouldn't even sleep.

Your whole life had been broken into pieces.

And as you laid on your bed, and you felt your cold, thin skin over your prominent bones, you felt everything and anything around you: the rain ticking on your windows, unanswered calls from your office, the wind through the crevices of your walls, the emptiness of that place.

You felt it all, and each of those things left a stinging sensation were your heart once was full of hope.

And like that, day after day, week after week, a month or so later, you could swear you couldn't feel anything at all anymore.

Meanwhile, the rain had stopped.

For weeks, the sun was all there was in the sky, the rain went away and with it, little by little, your tears.

You managed to get a bit of control on your life, trying to get up again, trying to live as you always did before you met him. You got back to work, blaming your hiatus on a really really bad disease, you began eating a little bit more, and for some time you even managed to forget about it all and smile a bit.

Almost two months had passed, and you couldn't help but think about him. Because the rain reminded you of him: the first time you had met him it was one of the coldest, rainy days of all year.

And today it was the same, a cold, rainy Sunday.

You felt...nostalgic, maybe? You couldn't tell.

You tried not to focus too much on the man that left just like how he appeared: so suddenly.

But later that day, as you got back from the city, back from an afternoon spent in a small coffee shop, as the rain poured on your black umbrella, little drops on your coat, lips and nose red, hands wrapped in soft gloves, you felt it again: that cold, freezing sensation in your bones. But this time you knew what it was.

“Go away.”

“I need to talk to you.” But you didn't stop, you just kept on walking.

“Y/N...please talk to me.”

“Why, Nam, mh? Why should I care to talk to you after you ignored me for days, after leaving me broken, weak on the ground, knowing what I felt for you? Knowing how much I cared for you? Knowing how much I fucking loved you?”

It was the first time you said that word to him while looking at him in the eyes. And it hit him. Hard.

“Y-you're not in love with me.”

“...maybe you're right. Maybe I fell for that someone that helped me till now, for that someone that brought me my keys, the first time we met. Maybe I fell for your spirit, maybe I didn't fall for who you turned out to be, with me.

I guess I ruined you. Didn't I, Nam? Am I not the one who always ruins everything?”

Tears were streaming silently on your face, sadness taking control.

“You ruined nothing, Y/N. You never do.”

“Then why the fuck are you here?! Why did you disappear, and why you're back now? If you don't feel anything, why are you here?”

“I-I don't know.

I just know that I can't let you go. You mean so much to me...”

“Then why you left?”

“...but we can't do this.”

You could only hear the rain, now.

“I don't know what I want, and what I can have, i don't know if this can work. You have no idea how much I want this to.”

“Then why can't we just try?”

“Because I'm fucking scared! I'm scared I'll end up hurting you again, i'm scared you'll end up forgetting me, I'm afraid you'll leave me once you understand what is like to be with someone like me.”

“I've known you for months, Nam, what is there that I don't know about you.”

“...you know nothing about me, Y/N.

Nothing. I wish it wasn't like this, but...I don't feel love for you.

I don't even know what love is. I just...feel something here. But i'm afraid this might not be love. And I don't want to fool you.

But...it just can't work in any way.”

Namjoon felt the real weight of them for the first time. Tears.

“Maybe you were right, when you left me. Maybe it's better if you go away.

Maybe we're better off alone.”

Namjoon didn't hear other sounds coming out of your lips: you turned your back and disappeared at the end of the street, just like he had done.

This time he was the one that was being left alone, shattered on the street.

Not that it mattered tho: he broke you, he almost killed you. He deserved it.

There were no tears, the days after: you cried all you had left.

You moved on. You forgot the pain. You forgot the feeling of being alone.

The feeling of being broken.

You were happy this way.

You did the right thing. You moved on from a situation that would have never changed.

And even if your heart was broken at first, and the pain remained there, other feeling replaced that one.

You are never broken for ever. There's always something that fixes what's broken.

And years later, when you saw again those deep, rich, dark eyes in the crowd of a city that wasn't yours, time stopped for a moment and you sent him a smile, a smile full of thankfulness, full of happiness and maybe a tiny bit of nostalgia.

But that was okay.

You were happy of seeing a familiar face smiling back at you when you thought you would have never seen him again.

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