Eyes and Ears

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: An AU where Barbara finds Jason instead of Bruce.

Chapters: 8/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood, Original Character(s)

Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character(s), Past Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Older SIbling Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd-centric, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Jason Todd is NOT Robin, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Has a Crush, Adopted Siblings

Chapter Eight: See You In Therapy

Jason left his first therapy session on edge despite Jim reminding him several times that everything went as it should. "Did I say too much? I feel like I talked the whole time, and she barely said anything," Jason sped through his words anxiously as he wrung his hands. "Did she not like me?"

"Jason," Jim rested a hand on Jason's shoulder, "It's okay. She liked you just fine... And you're supposed to talk. It's therapy. She's just there to help."

"But she talked to you alone. What did she say?" Jason asked. He skipped to catch up with Jim's strides as he walked.

"Nothing bad. We were just making your second appointment. We can cancel it if you don't want to come back," Jim replied.

"I can come back. When do I have to come back?" Jason asked. Jim picked Jason up and threw him over his shoulder. Jason laughed. "Pop, when do I have to come back?"

"Two weeks from now," Jim replied as he carried Jason to the car. "Do you think you'll want to talk to her by yourself next time?" He let Jason down and unlocked the car doors. Jason stood on his tiptoes.

"If I say no, will you sit in with me again?" Jason asked.

"Just one more time, but by the third time, I think you should be okay," Jim replied, "I have to go away for a few days. Barbara promised she'd take care of you until I get back... But I got you this just in case you need—." Jim opened his glove box and gave Jason a gift.

Jason held the small box in his hands. "You got me a gift?" Jason asked. Jim nodded, and he motioned for Jason to open it. Jason carefully removed the wrapping paper and opened the box. "You got me a cellphone? Pop, you didn't have—."

"Jason, I wanted to... And now I can be at ease when I work late. Take it?" Jim asked. Jason nodded.

"Thanks, Pop... I just—. Thanks..." Jason didn't smile, and it wasn't until they both got home and Jason sped past Barbara to his room that Jim realized Jason was upset.

Barbara set her coffee aside. "Therapy was that bad?" she asked.

"No, therapy was fine... I mean, it could've been better, but that's not why he's upset with me... At least I think that's not the reason," Jim mumbled.

"Did you tell him you were leaving for the weekend?" Barbara asked.

Jim cursed before going to knock on Jason's door. "Hey, Jason, can I come in?" Jim asked. Jason opened the door and let Jim in. He sat on a chair and fiddled around with a model car Jason had on his desk. "Finally finished putting it together, huh?"

"Yeah," Jason answered as he lay on his back on the floor and fiddled around with a Rubik's cube, "You said you'd help me paint it when I was done."

"And I will when I get back. We'll make a whole day of it or however long it takes... Then we can start on the Thunderbird. Picked out any colors for the Thunderbird?" Jim asked. His voice was calm.

"Agave green, it's on the desk," Jason replied, "And desert sand for the Plymouth." Jim made a soft noise and nodded.

"Good taste. One of these days, when you're old enough, we might even fix you up a real muscle car," Jim replied. Jason took a deep breath and sat up.

"Do you really have to go for a few days? Can't you just take me with you?" Jason asked. Jim smiled a little half-smile.

"I could hide you in my suitcase... Or maybe my trunk," Jim suggested in a flat tone of voice. Jason failed to hold back his smile as he playfully slapped Jim's leg.

"I'm serious, stop," Jason laughed. Jim chuckled.

"I'd like to take you everywhere I go, but this is work. Jason, I'll be back before you can miss me—."

"Not possible," Jason replied seriously. Jim grinned and messed up Jason's hair. "I'm being serious."

"I know. That's why I'm smiling... I'm gonna let you in on a secret. I plan on retiring before you turn eighteen... I've planned on this before I even met you, but now I look forward to it," Jim whispered.

Jason leaned in and whispered, "Maine," in reply. Jim nodded.

"If you want, we can live on a boat, and you can go to college there if you wanna go to college—. Do you want to go to college?" Jim asked.

"I dunno, I'm only thirteen. I never thought about it," Jason replied.

Jim picked up Jason's model car a second time before standing up, and he whispered, "Well, now you can think of it. We'll talk about it in a few days. Oh, and I'm making dinner early tonight." Jason sat still, pondering over Jim's words, and he watched Jim leave the room. After Jim left the room, Barbara knocked and entered.

"Hey, Barbara," Jason mumbled. She sat down across from him on the floor.

"Cheer up, we're gonna have a great time. You can even go to the gym with me," Barbara whispered as she leaned in and winked. Jason smiled and nodded. "Thought that would cheer you up... And you can call me Babs... If you want to."

"You know, when I ran away, I wasn't gonna tell anyone about you. You can trust me," Jason whispered. Barbara hugged him.

"I know. Listen, you gotta trust us too. We're not going anywhere. Okay?" Barbara whispered. Jason held onto her.

"I dunno. I think I kind of like Barbie for you," he joked.

"Come get something to eat and stop being annoying," Barbara replied as she laughed. Jason grabbed her wrist as she stood up.

"Do you think I could get into a college someday?" Jason asked.

"What? Like it's hard?" Barbara asked with a big grin on her face. Jason blinked hard. "Oh, come on! You can't tell me you've never seen—. You've never seen it?"

"What is it something from the nineties? 'Cause I hate to break it to you, Babs—."

"It was 2001, and don't you dare call me old," Barbara replied.

Jason's voice went up an octave as he said, "I wasn't gonna call you old. I was gonna say I'm not as mature as you are."

"Oh, I can't stand you," she laughed as she stood up, and he followed her to the kitchen. Jason made himself a tuna sandwich.

"Want one, Pop?" Jason asked. Jim nodded. "Barbara?"

"Sure, why not," she replied. They all ate, standing at the kitchen island.

"I leave tomorrow morning," Jim whispered.

"Why so early?" Barbara asked.

"Long drive ahead, and I have to swing by and pick up Harvey," Jim replied. Jason frowned at the thought.

Heyo, it's the fool who wants to make a comic with zero experience in drawing or finishing stories again. A lot of people, including you, I think, mentioned that "Your first work will be bad". Any tips how…not to do that? I don't expect it to be a magnum opus or smth, but I at least want to make something people would genuinely unironically enjoy, and "first story is always not good" notion everywhere is very discouraging

It's not like I never tried anything creative ever, but this is my first attempt of putting it down on paper with intention of completing it, instead of having vague ideas of "I know what would be so cool when I make it a thing" in my head for months without acting upon any of these ideas

It's definitely a disheartening adage, even if it's supposed to take the pressure off young creators.

Unfortunately, no matter how good your starting point gets - and you can get it very good, don't get me wrong - you are still going to find it unbearably bad when you look back on it with experienced eyes. You might eventually circle back around to finding it impressive, considering it was your absolute first starting point and you had no experience, but you still won't be able to see its merit the way your audience will.

The thing is, your first project is going to teach you a lot of things you couldn't have known you needed to learn beforehand. This means everything you make after learning those things is going to be smoother in process and better in result. There's also just the fact that the more you do this sort of thing the more practiced you'll get at the mechanical side of it, making it faster and easier for you and leaving you with more energy to punch things up. Compare the Big Fight Scene from chapter 3 with the one from chapter 17 in terms of visual complexity:

Particle effects, ambient glow, soft lighting, atmospheric depth, metallic effects, light and shadow. The seeds of these ideas are present in the earlier shot, but executed in a much clumsier way. Fourteen chapters of gradually increasing complexity and just raw practice got me to the point where drawing that second panel was fun rather than exhausting. If I'd tried that in the first chapter I would've probably been so worn out just trying to finish the lineart that the quality of the rest of the image would've suffered from sheer exhaustion.

And even before that, those first chapters only flowed as well as they did because I'd been drawing hundreds and hundreds of video frames for years at this point, which had gotten my lineart muscle memory polished enough that I wasn't agonizing over every single stroke.

I was absolutely determined to start this comic off at the best level of quality I could, and that determination kept me kicking the can down the road for a decade. I think this was a good thing; if I'd started it any earlier I think I would've been a slow enough learner that the quality increase over those first few chapters wouldn't have been as steep as it was. And that first chapter was as good as I could've made it at the time; I didn't take any shortcuts or laze around, and I used every skill I'd learned over the previous decade of physical and digital art. Of course, if I knew then what I knew now there's loads of stuff I'd have changed about the way I handled the intro. In fact, I'm going to break my One Rule about "never going back or redoing things" and I'm going to walk you all through chapter 1 and what I would change/fix if I was drawing it now.

Remove the outline on the background mountains, add color variance to the further mountains so they appear farther in the background, un-muddy the color of the sky and make those clouds a little more impressive; this could've looked like a full glorious noonday sun. The forest was drawn with an experimental brush I'd created for foliage that I ended up deciding didn't produce the effect I wanted; I'd probably go through and use the technique I developed for Gleicann's forest to cel shade blocks of foliage.

Add at least the bare hint of buildings behind the sword pedestal - just gradient outlines would be fine, similar to the extended backgrounds in Zuurith. Also slap some blue cinder-y particle effects coming up off the sword. Clean up the shading layer so there aren't as many holes. Add metallic shine to the blade and marbling/stone texture to the pedestal.

Un-muddy the colors on this background; they match The Collector's color palette but that matters less than looking nice. The background needs something - speed lines, the implication of foliage - etc. The poses could also be more dynamic and drawn with more confidence. To show the power behind the blows, re-choreographs the fight to show more of the damage it does to the environment - the sword carving through rocks, ploughing furrows into the ground, starting to spark with starfire, etc.

Same problem with the foliage; the special brush adds too much detail, drawing the eye away from the important parts of the scene, and the colors are muddy to cover that up. Brighter greens and cel-shaded layers would produce the effect I actually wanted and be faster than hand-drawing every treetrunk and then shading them so they're indistinguishable anyway. Also, more intense shading on the foreground figure - a neutral tan shadow layer is functional, but it could look a lot more dramatic, and he's shaded much more lightly than the extremely muddied background is.

Of course, "if I knew then what I know now" is a meaningless turn of phrase. I needed to draw these pages this way in order to learn what I know now. If I had jumped straight into the shortcuts I've painstakingly developed without having had that intervening practice, the end result would've been just as bad - if not worse, because it would've been executed shakily, without the confidence that accompanies muscle memory. The techniques I used in this first chapter had served me well up til that point. The techniques I use now were built on these foundations. Lamenting that I could've done it better if I'd started now is like saying the pyramids would be so much taller if they'd laid the foundations at the top part instead.

There's a degree to which this work is sisyphusian. You do your best, you push yourself, and then your "best" gets better. At some point you have to accept that what was your best is still okay, even if you can't see it that way.

When I was working on this comic in the pre-actually-drawing-it years, I came to a realization that helped me get unstuck: "good enough" is a mask that "perfect" wears. Striving for perfection is a pointless task, and this is pretty well known, but it seems a lot more reasonable to just try to get "good enough" at art to guarantee that your work will be good enough. But if you unpack that concept, you likely find that your definition of "good enough" is basically "without flaws." Which is "perfect." Which is, as mentioned, unattainable. Those pages are as good as I could've possibly made them at the time, and they aren't perfect, and I never thought they were perfect, because I knew if I waited for them to be perfect in my eyes I'd never make them. I just had to grit my teeth, make them public and hope that people got something out of them that I couldn't.

There is a baseline level of artistic skill and preparation that I do recommend cultivating - figure and life drawing, anatomy studies, landscapes, reading Scott McCloud's "Understanding Comics" cover to cover - but there is no hardline starting point at which you are guaranteed to be good enough to make the story and art good. This is because "good" is subjective, and as long as you are improving as an artist, your own perspective on your old work will never be that it is "good." You have to trust that the audience that likes your story likes it for their own valid reasons.

The thing is, I know this is a bummer. This whole thing is a bummer perspective. Artists want to make good art and the nature of artistic creation is being unable to see your own art as good for long. If you believe that your art must be a certain baseline level of Good to be worthy of existing, this truth seems to be a condemnation to an eternal and pointless purgatorial struggle.

The most valuable skill an artist can develop at this stage is strangling that insecurity with their bare hands.

Trust your audience! Trust that they enjoy what they enjoy, and trust that they see something in your art, even if all you can see are the critiques you'd use to polish it! "Perfect" and "good enough" will tell you that your creation will always be hideously unlovable and must be hidden from scrutiny until it's "ready", but like all insecurities, underpinning this is the axiom that anyone who likes you or your work is lying. Strangle this falsehood, trust freely and openly that your audience is being honest with you, and while you work to improve on the creation side of things, trust that in the eyes of the people who like your work, it is Good Enough.

Day 2 of Rosain Quivan’s Daily Logs

Started December 7, 2023 at 10:00PM, Home

Finished December 8, 2023 at 10:42PM, Home

Log #2

Author's Notes:

I started this yesterday from a sudden shower inspiration thought. Who would’ve known that the most bizarre of ideas could be generated while cleansing yourself?

Anyway, this idea is just pure dialogue between Sniper and Scout from Team Fortress 2. No romance implied, but you could interpret it that way. I'll be completely honest with you- I'm very adamant when it comes to accurately representing their relationship, whether it be in a canon-compliant friendship / coworker way or in a romantic setting (specifically the latter, since I have to admit that I am an intense Speeding Bullet fan, though of course I love any other old depiction of the two, as well as other ships as long as they are respectfully expressed). Though this adamant demeanor towards accuracy helps me find out what I like to see in works including these two goofballs, I'm not entirely sure if I can transform those standards into my own writing... since I've never tried it yet! So, take this as another practice round, this time more centred on character depiction and dialogue (that, hopefully, doesn't sound like a cringey 15-year-old's WattPad fanfiction...)

Warning: a few colourful words here and there.

If you want a part 2 for this, let me know down below! I'll be happy to write anything, though. And also, if you have any feedback, please let me know! I strongly appreciate it :-)

Title: Intention. Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Third-person objective New Mexico, Badlands, Badwater Basin, (fixed the order; that was bugging me last time), RED Sniper's Campervan Around 3:15AM, sometime during the Gravel War

“Snipes... Snipes, you awake?”

A long pause. Then, the sound of dog chains jingling. A bed creaks violently.

“Sniper, get up, you gotta help me here!”

A low grunt, a shift in the covers.

“Ngh… can’t this wait? It's..."

A shift in the sheets, someone leaning to squint towards a clock.

"Crikey, half past three?! What in God's name do you think you're doing?"

"Trying to wake your sleepy ass up, stupid!"

A loud groan. Possibly the sound someone rubbing their temples together.

"Did you know that the average human being needs shut-eye to survive? Ain't that wild? Or perhaps you didn't come along to learnin' that at kindie yet?"

"Oh, just... just shut up and help me out, will ya? Look, I'm sorry it's so late, but this is really, really urgent, okay? And this concerns more than just the both of us, but you were the closest person I could find, so I need you here. I promise, I'll be outta your hair after all this."

A sigh.

"... if this is an emergency with the sheila again, go ask Spy. I'm sure he'll be 'appy to see your squirmy little arse again."

"Hah! Yeah, as if. He's probably out screwin' the Eiffel tower or somethin'; wouldn't wanna see, much less hear that, though I can only imagine the snorting sound he'll make when he- argh, anyway, that's besides the point! Point is, it's not about Miss P, it's about..."

A pause.

"...it's about what? Who?"

"Well, it's about Engie..."

Another pause.

"...and? Come on, Scout, get to the point, or I'm going back to sleep."

"Okay, okay! Well, I don't exactly know how to put this, but I think- or at least I have a feelin'- that he might, maybe, possibly, be workin' ... for BLU."

The bed creaks again.

"What, you think we got an enemy Spy in the base?"

"No, it's not that. He passed the security check earlier, because I was on rounds for that today. I think that our Engie, like the real one, well, I think he's double-crossin' us or somethin'."

"And why do ya' think?"

"Well, this afternoon, near the intel room, I was sorting my comics out when I saw him doin' this thing, where he would be all suspicious lookin' and shifty-eyed, then he'd pull out one of those 'computah' things, or whatever they're called, and start typin' really fast, like he was in a rush or something. Then, whenever someone passed him, he'd shut the screen down really quickly like this-"

A clap.

"- and would look at the person with a goofy little grin, as if he wasn't just sendin' some, I don't know, ransom photos of someone's wife a few seconds ago. He even had the audacity to wave to Pyro when it walked by, and I think even it found it a bit weird 'cuz it made this strange garbly noise I've never heard it make before. But anyway, he'd open it again and do the same thing over and over again until it was lights out. It was so suspicious. I didn't say anything then, 'cuz, you know, I didn't want him to know I was staring at him like a creep or somethin-"

"Which you are."

"Whatever, now, get this-"

A dramatic pause. Two hands are slapped on someone's shoulders.

"I go back to my room, and you know how his is right next to mine?Well, I wait outside the door, and I'm about to say 'good night' or something like that and maybe sneak in a question about his secret porn addiction, but... he doesn't go to his room. No, he turns the corner, goes out... and starts headin' in the direction of BLU's base."

Silence for a moment.

"You sure he wasn't just, you know, heading out for a hookup or somethin'? I hear a lot of people south-east go troppo for one-night-stands."

A slight shaking movement from the hands to someone's shoulders, dog chains jingling.

"Argh, Snipes, freakin' please?! I'm bein' serious here. He doesn't usually do that, I'd know because every night he plays those cheesy old cowboy country songs on his radio and goes to sleep, which keeps me up all night because I can hear it through the freakin' wall. And don't you think it's a bit strange how he was reacting when he was on the 'puter? No one would do that, even if it's for a hot night out."

A hand grips one of the latter's on someone's shoulder, as if to push it off.

"Well, maybe for bogans like you, who don't have the slightest bit of public decency when it comes to flirtin' with any skirt you see. And what right do you have stickin' your nose in his business? He could have as well been headin' back to Teufort to buy some quick supplies for his sentries, or hell, maybe even just going to see The Admin."

"Well, actually..."

The hands slide off the shoulders.

"I may have trailed him a bit. You know, just outta curiosity."

"You- you followed him? In the middle of the night?"

"Look, man, I had to do what I had to do to make sure that I wasn't going to have my head end up in someone's refrigerator the next day."

"But you do realize that you were being just as suspicious, more so really, as he was by trailing him?"

"Well, yeah, but- okay, look, that don't matter now, alright? What matters now, is that I found out where he was going. And it was the BLU base, I saw him sneaking in without gettin' shot by a sentry or a look-out, but I couldn't stay for long since they woulda caught me instead. But luckily, his little visit wasn't without a little proof. Check what I found-"

Knuckles slide against firm wood as someone picks up a small metallic object from a nearby dresser, holding it in front of them.

"This."

Someone snatches the object, clicks on a lamp, and observes it intently. A sleepy yawn.

"What is it?"

"I think it's called a U.S. Bee, or something? I don't remember what he called it, but he told me it's like a little key you put inside the compooter and it stores, like, info and crap. I don't know, something nerdy that only he and Medic would understand."

"Hm.... An' how do you know it's his?"

An impatient whine.

"I don't know why you're being so skeptic and shit about this, Snipes, I literally told you the story and brought a goddamn piece of useful evidence! Do you still not trust me? What more do you want from me here? A picture of his ass in blue?! Wait a sec- hold on- are you freakin' workin' with him?!"

A quiet sigh, someone shaking their head.

"Alright, mate, I'm sorry, okay? Veg out, now. No, I'm not workin' with 'im, and I do trust you, I really do. It's just that... I find it hard to believe that Engineer of all people, a man with whom we've been working with for 4 years now, would all of a sudden head up and go against his entire team like that, especially in such a dangerous manner when he knows that someone else could be, you know, spyin' on him."

"I wasn't spyin' on him, I was just-"

"You said yourself it don't matter, so it don't. What I'm saying here is that we don't know his intentions here. For all we know, he could be using his little device of his to gather intel on the other team, or he could be, I don't know, doing a secret contract or something. I just feel that it's unfair that we rush to conclusions like that, especially for one of our coworkers who may really be doing us a service, mate."

Quiet for a bit.

"You alright there?"

"No, I- I get it... I just, I just really feel like I found out something critical, you know? Like, it's not everyday you see one of the team be so secretive like that, well, except I guess Spy."

"Well, we all have our own secrets, don't we?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Quiet. A few gentle pats on the back.

"But... wouldn't it be a good idea to try and find out what that thing, like, has? I mean, you know, just to prove that Engie really didn't have any bad intentions?"

"Yes, but that would be quite a breach, no? He'll most likely be looking for it in the mornin' and if he finds out you were givin' his equipment an unauthorised burl, well, say g'day to your dispenser privileges for the month."

"Well, what if I did it now, while he's still away?"

A pause.

"That's risky."

"I'll be fine."

"Alright, you do you. But how would you know where to start? And if you did get it to work, understanding what you're seeing is another question entirely."

"Hmm..."

Someone rubs their finger over their chin, pondering.

"Oh, I know! Medic, he'll know. Those two dweebs spend so much time doin' those experiments together, I don't doubt he'll know what the heck to do with this. Plus, man probably never sleeps, so it's basically 24/7 with him."

"Okay. Well, chookas with that, mate. I'm heading back to nap. G'night now."

The sheets shift for a moment, before an arm reaches out to stop them.

"Ah, um- thanks, pally. For listenin' and all. I know you don't really believe me or anythin' but, uh, I'm glad you didn't doze off halfway through."

"No worries."

"Yeah."

A pause.

"So, ehm, I'm gonna do that now."

"Oh, yeah, right, I'll head out now. Night, Snipes."

"G'night."

The light clicks out, and a figure scurries away into the night. Then, a sudden shift.

"Wait a minute, how did you get inside?"

Credits: Team Fortress 2 by Valve Image source: Team Fortress 2 Written by Rosain Quivan Cross posted on Amino ( Rosain Quivan )

one of the prompts from @fanfic-inator795 (thanks bestie)

Raph taking Casey Jr. to Teddy Bear Town (since I doubt they had teddies in the apocalypse)

“Okay, so let me get this straight,” Casey said slowly. “We aren’t going on patrol.”

“Nope!” Raph said. “Heads up - our stop is next.”

The fellow passengers on the subway didn’t seem to notice or care that they were sitting next to a teen in modified hockey gear or a giant teenage turtle in disguise. It was midday in the city after all, and there was never such a thing as a normal subway car. As long as they weren’t being a nuisance, no one really cared. The speaker system alerted them to the stop with it’s chime and standard ‘stand clear of the closing doors,’ and Raph led Casey through the small sea of people entering and exiting the train. 

“So what exactly are we doing?” he asked, following him down the platform and up the steps. “Are we running errands or something?”

“Sorta,” Raph said. “When you were talkin’ about how things were in your future, you said you didn’t have much in th’ way of toys or stuff.”

“I mean, I had a tetris cube,” Casey countered. “I uh...I didn’t finish it.”

“Yeah but I’m not countin’ that. I mean like...beyblades, legos, that kinda thing, y’know?” Raph looked across the street before continuing against the traffic with all the ease of a seasoned New Yorker. “Like, we all grew up with that stuff, and it’s not fair you didn’t.”

“I’m sixteen, I think I might be a little too old for this stuff-” Casey argued, running the last few steps to the next block to avoid a taxi. Raph turned to him.

“Never say that again. Trust me. I have stuff like this that makes me happy, so do the rest of the team,” Raph poked him in the chest. “Leo has his comics, Donnie has video games, and Mikey has whatever makes him happy in whatever given moment. He’s a magpie like that - after a life of verifiable BS, you deserve something too.” 

“Oh...fair enough,” Casey replied. He hadn’t really considered that. Resources were scare back in his timeline, and if by some miracle a toy survived, he was usually the first to give it to someone else. “So what makes you happy?”

“I like knitting,” Raph smiled. “And teddy bears.”

“Teddy bears?”

“Yep. Got a problem with it?”

“No, not at all. But uh...what is a teddy bear?” Casey asked. Raph looked at him, positively stricken in horror. 

“Oh, oh my god,” he replied, quickly turning down another street. “Okay, forget F.A.O. Schwartz - we can go there another day. I am morally bound to fix this. We’re going to Teddy Bear Town.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Raph!”

“They’re joy in a small, soft, stuffed bear.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“You will, sweet summer child, you will.”

“I was born in winter.” 

“We have so much to catch you up on.”

Raph pulled Casey to a stop in front of a gold and blue sign reading “Teddy Bear Town” in bright red letters. The windows were full of stuffed animals dressed in various costumes, all posed to look like they were playing or moving. It was, for lack of a better word, very cute. Casey could remember Raph when he was child, just barely, but he could recall that despite his size and teeth, the red turtle had always been gentle. It made sense that even now he still had that softness, he just didn’t need to hide it or shove it down in the face of war. 

The inside was just as cute and cuddly. Bins lined the walls of stuffing-less shells, animal faces still smiling up. Various stations followed, then walls of costumes. Raph directed him to the bins. “First, you pick a shell, then you go fill it at the station, then you pick an outfit.”

“Seems like a lot of work for a toy,” Casey said, picking up a random frog. 

“That’s part of the fun! The act of creation and shit,” Raph said, looking at the frog shell. “Me, I prefer a classic bear. I can’t say you seem like a frog guy.”

Casey shook his head. Raph scanned the bins quickly before finding the one he was looking for. He picked up and held out a soft, light brown bear shell. “Here, can’t beat a classic!”

He held the shell in his hands, stroking one of the paws with his thumb. The fur and velvet paw pads were soft, more soft than anything he could remember. Casey nodded. “Yeah, this is good.” 

Raph helped him through the rest of the process, and despite his reservations, Casey actually felt...at ease. Happy, even, and he couldn’t stop a grin through all the silliness of stuffing the bear with a heart and all of that. Surprise to none, Casey immediately chose a hockey player outfit, complete with skates and a hockey stick. 

“Beats patrol, huh?” Raph asked as they left. 

“Honestly? Yeah,” Casey replied, clutching the box holding his bear. “I honestly can’t remember ever being able to do this.”

Raph wasn’t surprised. Casey hadn’t really been able to a kid, and this was the least he could have done to remedy that. “We have a few hours to kill before actual patrol, let’s grab some pizza and go bum in the arcade - whaddya say?”

“That sounds...really nice.”

I’m back.

My discombobulated thoughts now that I have finished Sonic Prime SPOLIERS!!!!!!!

********

Okay so I watched season 1 in parts and season 2 when it came out and just watched season 3 today. I binged everything, so if I don’t remember something 100% correctly, that’s why.

Sonic prime is good.

I know, shocker.

Okay, I haven’t watched any of the other shows so I can’t compare it to X or Boom or whatever. But this seemed to have a darker tone than most other sonic media and I enjoyed that a lot. (I know I need to watch SATAM, don’t yell at me.)I’ve dipped in and out of this fandom a lot. And my participation is all over the place (I won’t be posting about Ken spenders anymore, I took my Kenspiracies too far when I had that stupid twitter account yeah, that was me) but ANYWAY

This show was great. Not perfect, the main flaw I found was the pacing is very fact paced and action heavy which is good for a Sonic show and good for a person with ADHD like me. However I found the first season took awhile to get going and was more episodic. I know it was to introduce the characters but I got bored a bit. I’ll say again I liked the episode in Season 1 with Thorn Rose but the Boscage Maze and especially No Place never felt that fleshed out to me. I still wanted them to be saved because I cared about Sonic and his friends, but the worlds weren’t very interesting.

I. Love. New. Yoke. The aesthetic of this place is perfect and VERY Sonic CD bad future-seque which is PERFECT. I only wish we spent more time there. Especially in season 3 which takes place entirely in the Grim after the first two episodes, which I get, I do, but the pacing again, I felt was too fast and too much action and not enough character moments. The he ending felt rushed, because I really wanted to see the rebels rebuild New Yoke after the Egg Council was gone (assuming the other shatterspaces didn’t freeze in time like Green Hill did, but I got the implication that was a unique case.) and I wanted to see the others return home as well. I guess this leaves it open to a sequel or expansion of some kind, comics, some kind of spin off media, I’d even love an animated movie if they fixed the pacing issues, but yeah, that was my only gripe. I guess I wanted more time with Sonic and Nine reconciled too before everything happened but that’s the painful thing in life, sometimes you don’t get that. We know the prism still exists so then interacting again some way in the future might be possible, if they know how to control portals and such, hell with the chaos emerald they might be able to go to other worlds anyway. I wonder where Shadow is keeping the prism. I wonder if Nine stays on the Grim by himself or if he goes back to New Yoke. He deserves friends, and I’m sure some of the others would come around to him given time. renegade Knucks was up there fighting with Sonic after all. It could work. I just want him to be happy :((

I guess those are small nitpicks in the grand scheme of things because I want to say that the tone and storytelling was GREAT, the music was epic and cinematic and fit the tone of the show very well, the contrasting color palettes of different worlds really helped make it pop. The 3D animation was fantastic and felt perfect for a show like this. Characters were VERY expressive. (Hey Sega, can you update your in game models please thanks, you know it’s bad when the SA2 models have more dynamic facial expressions). Anyway, I thought the voice acting was great. Shadow’s voice felt a little wrong but I’m probably just used to Humphrey and Griffith, I don’t like his voice in forces either but I digress. It worked for this. Sonic’s VA was amazing and really able to convey a wide range of emotions and I thought the other characters had good VAs. Nine was great. I do wish maybe he’d had a redemption earlier against a greater threat a la Zuko style but one can dream. Nine is still easily the best version of Tails, ever. I was lukewarm on Tails as a character before and Nine made me appreciate everything about all versions of Tails. Incredible. What I love about Nine is he takes things too far because he has serious trust issues and him and Sonic fail to communicate which as a neurodivergent person is very relatable. I think Tails in general and especially Nine, is very autistic coded, and I love that. I just wish season 3 Nine had more development before the end because his arc was perfect until the end of season 2 but I’m at least glad he did realize and did the right thing. He’s really just a scared kid who wants a safe place, don’t we all? Again I REALLY want to see more material with him in the future and what becomes of him with Sonic gone.

My other favorite side characters were Thorn Rose, Rusty Rose, and Dread, but I thought they were all great. I loved that the roses had a great character moment, as did Dread when he finally realized that saving his friends was more important than treasure. The Egg council was awesome, taking different traits of Eggman and turning them into a squabbling family was PERFECT. The fact that they met their demise because they were arguing over the prism was so real. Great stuff.

I want to talk about Sonic himself because this is one of the best Sonics I’ve seen. I haven’t decided if this is better than Movie Sonic, but I love both a ton along with Adventure. This Sonic is one of the most expressive Sonics with the most emotional range. Yeah, he’s still overly cocky and hilarious, and mostly always optimistic, but I love that he actually learns from his mistakes and comes up with new ideas. The fact he even took inspiration from the Egg Council to never give up was great. I loved the robots of all the main characters as well. Sonic was well written, VERY in character but still serious when he needs to be (unlike Archie Sonic (sometimes) and 06, which is bad).

Speaking of 06, this is the best written Shadow we have gotten since 06. I mentioned very early on in this blog how I love his arc through Shadow 05 and Sonic 06. Sonic is way out of character and the Elise thing is stupid, BUT, Team Dark was perfect in 06. It’s sad we don’t have Team Dark anymore, but Rouge on team sonic was cool, I just like Rouge in general and if they’re gonna make her part of the main cast, good. Okay, back to Shadow. His development in game is that he goes from being angry at the world and wanting revenge, to being emotionally numb and trying to figure out the truth, to finally realizing his purpose and knowing not to give up and kicking the bad guys when it hurts. He’s hard to crack, but he DOES care about his friends, as you can see through subtle actions, rather it be Team Dark, Sonic, whatever. He’d never ADMIT to Sonic that they’re friends, but I do genuinely think he cares for Sonic.

Anyway, Shadow has been stagnant as a character since then, the best writing was in Forces with him vs. Infinite but it didn’t do much to further his character. He hasn’t been in a lot of media lately like Frontiers (although maybe they knew they couldn’t write him well for games and wanted to see how he went over in prime and the upcoming movie). Prime Shadow made me more excited for Movie Shadow, because if we got one of, if not THE best Sonics ever in Prime as well as the movie, I’m expecting good things from Shadow in the movie, considering they really nailed Tails and Knuckles in Sonic 2, imo, and now knowing that Shadow is allowed to have feelings again is so good. He’s very in character, overly serious, and cold, but he is incredibly dedicated to the cause and unquestionably a hero, like 06 Shadow. Prime Shadow reminds me a LOT of 06 Shadow and that’s GOOD. He’s also just great with his subtle nod to Sonic when Sonic talks about his friends, their excellent back and forthing with Sonic cracking jokes “I didn’t know you were a hugger” and Shadow responding with his straight man persona “do you want me to save you or not?” It was great stuff all the way through. I thought he was decent in Season 2, but Season 3 was AWESOME. I guess I had to trade Nine for Shadow, sigh. Nine did come back around in the end which GOOD, if they kept him as a villain the whole time I would’ve been pissed, but I digress. This might be the best Shadow since SA2, he’s SO GOOD YALL and I could keep raving about Prime Shadow all day. I loved when Dr. Deep called him an edge lord, it’s great meta humor, and in character for Deep who actually is an edge lord. Really hope SEGA takes the positive feedback from this and makes Shadow better in upcoming games/comics. LET FLYNN WRITE A GOOD SHADOW FOR GOD’S SAKE!

Ahem.

Anyway, I’m glad I watched Prime, it gave us the best Sonic Shadow and Tails maybe ever and it took the darker tone that Forces tried and really fleshed it out. Good job guys.

A Familiar Sound

This was meant to be a "100 followers Thank You" when I was still working on my Frosted Man Comic. BUT I merged the layers and never finished it ages ago. lol I'm passed 100 followers and the blog is a little over 1 year old now! So this is just a thanks for following and hanging out and enjoying dbd stuff with me lol! (and hello people who followed me for Hooked on You Trapper lol. I see you!)

Any way, this is a weird picture because it's a mix of an old drawing and new fixes drawn over it.

And I'm back from moving and sorry it took a while. I needed to get resituated. I have a bunch of asks and pictures to finish! It might be a little slow going with the posting because I'm still getting back into things. Like I need to buy a new desk. That's it! Hi again <3.

How do I actually finish a final draft? I'm working completely independently on a comic book and I'm at the point where I know what needs to be fixed, but it just feels so tedious to go in and edit once again because I feel like if I don't reread it completely, I'll miss something. I feel like I've reread it so many times I'm bored by it and can't actually finish the final draft, especially for *just* issue 1. I've tried writing other issues but it just feels like procrastination. help what do

Struggling to Complete Final Edit

Final edits can be the toughest, because you're SO CLOSE to being finished, and you've been through it so many times, you just want to be done with it.

First, I think you have to take a step back and really consider whether one more read through is really that necessary. Unfortunately, that's a game you can play until the end of time, so at some point you have say enough is enough. I've you've already read through it a few times and know what needs to be fixed, I think you have to give yourself permission to just go in and make the necessary changes without completely re-reading. Another thing you can try is making the changes, then going back and re-reading and doing any final touch-ups as you go.

Some things to try to make another read-through bearable: -- Step away for a bit. It sounds like you've already done this, but it's worth repeating for others. Even if it's just for a day or two, setting it aside can give you a much-needed breather and help you come back to it with fresh eyes.

-- Read it out loud. This can actually be very helpful in allowing you to spot issues you didn't catch in previous reads. Try pretending you're doing a reading for fans or performing the audiobook.

-- Change the font color. This is another trick that can help errors stand out more, but like reading it out loud, it's also just an easy way to make it feel new and fresh to your eyes which can cut back on the tedium a bit.

-- Read it in an unusual place. It's best to find someplace that's comfortable and reasonably free from distractions, but also not someplace where you'll feel too cozy and feel sleepy. Just moving to another room in your home can help, or you might try sitting outside (such as a porch, patio, or backyard--just watch out for rain!) If you're able to, try a library, bookstore, or cafe. Public areas like parks, picnic areas, scenic views/trailheads, etc. are good options--just be sure to be safe.

-- Take turns reading it with a trusted friend or family member. If there's someone you trust to read it, who would enjoy reading it and has the time/ability to help out, try making a little party of it and taking turns reading it. If you can get together, you can put out some fun food and drink, sit at a table or on the couch and take turns reading pages or scenes. If you can't get together, you can encourage them to get some snacks and do it as a video call or phone call--just don't forget to send them a copy to read from.

-- Last but not least, if none of these work for you, you'll just have to brute force it. As with all jobs we don't want to do, remember that the thought of doing the work is always worse than actually doing it. Once you get going and find a rhythm, you'll probably find it's not nearly as bad as you expected. Try setting up rewards for yourself along the way, like allowing yourself to have a favorite meal when you get to the halfway point, and going to see a movie you're looking forward to once you get to the end. You can even do smaller rewards like having a bowl of ice cream after you've worked on it for an hour each night. Whatever works! In the end, you just have to remember you've put a lot of work into this project, and you're so close to being done, it's worth it to keep going!

I hope something her will work for you!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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Activities OP Men Do with Their Kids

Hello lovely spirits!!! I created some more dad HC's that made my heart just jump out of my chest!!!! This will include Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ussop, Sanji, Ace, Marco, Thatch, Izou, Law, Kid, Killer, and Rosinante. I have part two already finished I will post it in a few hours!!! I hope you all enjoy!!!

TW: Kids

Luffy The fun dad is always up for taking his little one on an adventure! He would like to have a partner in crime when it comes to raiding the fridge late at night. Exploring all the different islands and different parts of the sea. The child would most likely inherit his ‘shishishi’ laugh and Luffy would find it so cool! Luffy would let his child stretch his arms  out like a Stretch Armstrong figure.

Zoro

Both Zoro and his youngster would enjoy a nap anytime of the day. They both are out like logs, nothing can wake them up. The child would take interest in Zoro’s swordsman skills and would love to learn from their dad. When his child would learn a new skill they are so eager to show him, and when they show him Zoro does feel proud to see the determination on their little face. 

Sanji

Little chef in training and also the taste tester. Sanji would teach his kids the value of food and no matter the amount of food left shouldn’t go to waste. They would help with measurements of ingredients needed for a recipe and would help pour them into the bowl.  Both of them would like to make small treats and decorate  their own, then they give them to one another so they can eat it!

Usopp 

His child would inherit that artistry style he has. Always creating something with one another. Usopp would help guide his young son on certain techniques of drawing and using different shades to give the art some nice effects. His child would love to hear all his father's stories, even though they are a bit dramatic. Seeing the child’s eyes light up with excitement along with a smile  would make his heart swell up. 

Ace 

He would give his little one piggy back rides all the time. When Ace does get his episode of narcolepsy  using a washable marker drawing a mustache on him. Ace would walk around all day with the painted mustache without him noticing. And just like Uncle Luffy, Ace and his child would eat anything in front of them with a bottomless stomach.

Marco

Marco would love to tell stories of his younger pirate days and all the things he has encountered in his lifetime. He would enjoy flying with his child hearing them tell him what they see and how amazing the view looks. Letting them use his stethoscope so they could hear his heart beat when they are able to hear it they would proudly go around the ship and would ask them if they could hear their heartbeat. Marco would have a smile following them around.

Thatch

Thatch would have a small little kitchen set for his child and the child would be able to cook on it. Thatch would give them a recipe to follow and they would be able to do it by themselves. Thatch would make it almost like a cooking show atmosphere and do a commentary on his childs cooking and seeing all the ingredients they are using and say “I wonder  what they are making this time?!? Find out after this commercial break!’

Izou

Something Izou always wanted to teach his child was the Kabuki dance he was taught as a kid. Applying there lipstick on and even letting them practice on him while putting the lipstick on. The more they practice the better they do. The child would like to have their hair brushed by their father because he does have more of a gentle touch and Izou is a perfectionist when it comes to fixing hair. 

Law

He would share his comics with his child one of his favorites would be Sora, Warrior of the Sea. When stopping off at an island he and his child would go on a long walk and get origini while walking. If they are in the sub  he would be up for a game of hide and seek. He may know their favorite hiding places but he would just walk around first ‘trying to look for them’ he might catch a giggle coming from his child thinking he would never find them but he would. He would think it is so cute.

Kid

 Kid would make his child their own workbench and make sure they have their own tools as well. He would watch his child sketch out a toy or device they will be making. If he sees they are having a bit of a hard time he would help them out and explain on how to properly assemble or repair the item. Kid wouldn’t buy his child toys, he would simply make them and he would make sure they are the coolest toys they will ever have than any other kid. 

Killer 

 He would let his child play with his hair, often his child grabbing the end of his hair pretending they have a mustache. He would teach his child how to make all sorts of different kinds of noodles then enjoy it together. He would lay out instruments for the child to see what they are drawn to and if the child is drawn to playing the drums he would teach them how to start off and he would show them his moves on what he can do.

Rosinante 

He would happily dance with his child anytime of the day. Let them hang on to his coat like a little koala. Using his devil fruit he would have their own little private talks and come up with little stories they would create with one another. Rosi would start off the story and then his child would pick up and continue the story. He would also let his child put on his lipstick and eyeliner.

Tagging: @undercoverweeeb @kristaline2dmensimp @fireflykaizoku @simpforroses @tsunderedoctor @athena-portgas @iloveportgasdace @vemuabhi @p0chy @kerokerogecko

BONJOUR!!!!

🥳🦋😎 if you please <3

BONFUCKINGJOUR MY ELLY ☆¤•°°~

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

A friend made me! I had an idea I was really enamored with when I started college and I drew it all the time. A friend asked me when I was going to write it. I told friend I don't write like this, it is too embarrassing. She asked if I would do it just for her.

I was so absolutely mortified by what I was doing that my first page of writing in a notebook was blacked out in most places with a marker as though the FBI thought it would shatter capitalism if anyone saw it.

My friend later told me that what I made was too good to do nothing with and she would put the word document online if I didn't. And so I was blackmailed into posting it and now it's the JTHM AU that has its own mini fandom with cosplay and everything.

I have forgiven friend :p

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

This feels really difficult and like I might have to split it up by fandom?

JtHM - SWAN-verse Nny. He's a smart charming asshole, he's a delight. (But also Tenna.)

DD9 - Probably Julian, who is navigating a sudden orientation being dropped in his lap that he needs to slowly dissect. He tries very hard and he's a huge dork but he's very smart and it makes him a lovely brain to be in.

B5 - lol g'kar. He takes nothing seriously, except when he suddenly does and it is profound poetry. He's so fun.

Yugioh - Malik and Ryou. Malik frantically flipping through all of his mental Rolodex looking for the right conversation card to use in a situation and Ryou does not have anything like that and they are both trying to be sincere and gentle people who other people are afraid to see Angry. Malik may be a little more fun because he's going through more machinery to get out what he says and does. Ryou is floating through life, there's smarts and observations, but the mechanisms that are Machinery inside of Malik are organic in Ryou.

😎 What fics do you prefer on a scale of canon compliant to wildly original?

THIS IS A JUICY ONE ISN'T IT? I am a captive tiger on enrichment day and the giant jack o lantern is full of ENTRAILS.

So, my most successful things turned out to be AUs. I don't read AUs. Don't know what that means.

In general, what I want to read is a post canon continuation of sewing feelings and plot threads back together. I love keeping canon as it is for the justified sanctioned foundation it gives me to frame what I want in.

I often can't be bothered with story establishing relationshipd in the middle of the canon because then in me it inspires thoughts of why they did not behave as they would have considering their feelings for B Guy! I need the Canon to be over so that new Canon doesn't get the chance to hit me in the back of the head with a piece of lead pipe.

As soon as old things begin making new canon material I'm like "Aaaaahhhh No you might damage my baseline!" Luckily, additional Canon, like comics or books, is more easily ignored than more of a show, if that's what your source material was.

My AU things mostly come up when the show finished and i need to fix the way we ended. And then it becomes wildly made up.

My Babylon 5 stuff is in a super vague grey area.

Deep Dish Nine is full pizxa shop AU.

reSWAN is both a high school AU AND a canon timeline extending AU. which is also a musical where everyone is gay.

Strange Shapes is normal post canon nothing in canon avoided or ignored.

Same with painkiller, not that those folks are reading this or anything.

BNHA Chapter 403: Review by Birdbros

First let me just say that baby Toshinori is so cute I can't breathe. Now, to the actual review. I love that his childhood was good and beautiful. That he didn't grow up in tragedy and had a loving mother and potentially the reason why he's so invested in being a hero. Because she didn't discourage him and instead fostered his dream so he could be proud of who'd he become one day. Also may I just say that this entire All Might arc has been giving. It has given so much and I've loved every second off it because honestly some people needed to be reminded why this man was the number 1 hero. Still though, just the thought of his mother dying and All Might having to take on the world and fix it without here breaks me in a way I can't fully explain.

Yeah no, nop, no. I won't let you do this. He's not gonna die. Not All Might. Not after everything. I refuse to accept it. He has so many other steps to take Okay! Stop it. What do you mean and end of an era?! AFO you absolute fucking clown, do not hurt him! I mean it!!!!!!!

Damn..... he really cut off Toshinori's backstory just like that. Wtf man. We rarely get this man reflecting about himself and you had to go and do that!!!! The fuck is wrong with you!!!!! I hope you die a painful death AFO it's all you deserve you piece of shit......I'm getting way too emotional *sigh* Okay, let's try and be more logical here. Now that All Might hasn't been able to use Bakugou's quirk it means Bakugou might come back right? My boy might finally come back and save him, right? Right?! I mean it makes so much sense. Feels like the story has been building up to this. Midoriya fighting to win and Bakugou fighting to rescue. Like a reverse role. Please please Hirokoshi. You can't have taken Edgeshot from me and Katsuki too. You can't T_T Don't Nobara me man, please. Also once again, fuck you AFO your arrogance will def be the end of you. Toshinori won't die a hero because HE WON'T DIE AT ALL!

Thanks a lot Stain. Seriously thanks man. You could not have done anything but lose your quirk to this man (turns out I lowkey hate Stain *sigh*). Ugh, I know it's not really your fault and you sort of tries to save my man a little while ago but fuck, did you have to lose your quirk to this loser too?! I'm already mouring Hawks damn it. I can't do this anymore. Look at Toshinori's face T_T No one should ever make him look this hopeless, ever. This shit is illegal. Also, imagine loving killing someone so much you literally tear your mouth wide open joker style, the fuck AFO, the actual fuck? My dude you really need to sit down and finish that ancient comic book of yours because this aint it fam. This really aint it. You're so villain it's not even funny anymore.

Shoutout to Tobita (my absolute favorite villain - he makes me so soft protect him at all cost) and star's crew who just like me would have hesitated to fire at All Might. I love you all and I hope when Bakugou comes back he beats the shit out of AFO for you. (Horikoshi do not make a liar out of me). Also psycho eyes AFO. Once again this man does not fail to creep me out. Die!

Is he... is he planning to tear All Might in two? Is he really about to do this?! WTF WTF WTF STOOOOOOP. I can't do this. My sanity cannot handle this. Someone stop him! Fuck Midoriya crying is breaking my soul. This is not okay. I'm not okay. Shigaraki you bitch stop laughing! Everyone just stop. This can't be happening T_T This is so grusome I'm legit tearing up. And Midoriya's eyes is killing me. This is so wrong so so wrong. Someone please please please.

I...... Oh my God..... my baby. My baby. He's back!!!! He's back yall. I..... Katsuki..... oh sweetheart T_T

I'm so emotional I legit walked away from my screen to take a break from this rollarcoaster. Thank you thank you thank you Hirokoshi! Thank you!!!! Also can we take a second to appreciate the beautiful art people. U.I exploding, Midoriya's tears blowing in the same direction. The light that shines on that tiny figure on top of U.A and then that zoom in on Bakugou's weathered figure. It's all so *chef's kiss* beautiful. I'm in love. And def will print this panel out and hang it on my room because my baby is back!!!!!!!

I take that back. I'm hanging this up. Me and Best Jeanist sobbing over this right now. Our baby is alive!!!!!!! But look at him, he's so tired and haggered and back from the dead. He deserves a nap, not to fight a psycho who can't just quietly go into ground and never come back. Also theory: now that Bakugou has essentially come back from the dead, might his quirk have evolved to the extreme edge like we've seen for many before him such as Touya and Uraraka? And since Katsuki literally died maybe his evolved even more? My biggest hope. Beat his ass Katsuki. Make him regret that he was ever born.

Not a bakudeku shipper but I'm 100% a bakudeku friendship apologist so this, seeing Midoriya look up, tears flooding from his eyes because he's so fucking terrified he'll lose his mentor just like he lost his childhood friend only to then look up and see Bakugou is doing something to me I cannot explain. And Katsuki.... Katsuki with the ancient All Might card he's still holding onto for dear life. Katsuki remembering their baby selves. Katsuki being so out of it but standing up to fight for All Might like All Might stood up to fight for him at Kamino..... *sobs hysterically in a corner* Also the symbolism of All Might always having looked back at his past because all the steps felt so important just to now look forward because the steps his kids are gonna take are the important thing for him now..... yeah I'm not okay.

This is truly the beginning of a new era huh. Bakugou and Midoriya, carrying on All Might's dreams and hopes..... Hirokoshi you bastard. How can you do this to me. WTF MAN WTF!!!!!! And look at Katsuki's eyes. The explosion within them. It's so beautiful. I love it so much. And now him and Izuku's feelings are one; they'll save All Might and redefine hero society.

*stands up and applauds like crazy* There has been several misses for me in this manga but moments like this is why I'm happy I never gave up on it.

Welcome back Katsuki darling. Welcome back, it's been too long.

13 books tag game - tagged by @anyboli (thanks!)

1) Last book I read:

I've recently abandoned a couple books without finishing them, so the last book I actually read was Wool by Hugh Howey. It was good! I've heard not everyone loves the sequels so I'm in no hurry to continue the series, but I might someday.

2) A book I recommend:

The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker. Such an amazing book, absolutely killer period-piece historical fantasy, it's got a masterless golem finding purpose, it's got immigrant metaphors and literal immigrants, it's got romance, it's got mysteries, it's got baking, it's everything and you should read it.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

In recent memory, what comes to mind is Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir. Did you like The Martian? Would you like more of The Martian? Great news, friend. Scratches the same "how do I fix this problem with these limited resources" itch without feeling like a lazy retread of his first book.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more)

A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers. Loosely connected sequel to Chambers' The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, this book narrows its cast to focus in on two characters. I've heard some people say Small, Angry Planet was a little too cozy for them, in which case I would recommend they give A Closed and Common Orbit a shot.

5) A book on my TBR

What Feasts at Night by T. Kingfisher. I picked it up on a whim at a bookstore and I'm excited to get to it - I really enjoyed What Moves the Dead.

6) A book I’ve put down

The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehiman. Not a bad book, I enjoyed what I read of it, I just kind of lost interest in the back half.

7) A book on my wish list

Alien Clay by Adrian Tchaikovsky. I don't think it's out in the U.S. yet, but I'll give anything by this guy a shot.

8) A favourite book from childhood

The Dark Lord of Derkholm by Diana Wynne Jones. Obsessed with this book as a kid, and it still holds up on more recent rereads. Check it out if you haven't already!

9) A book you would give a friend

Sabriel by Garth Nix. This book and its sequels are possibly the most underappreciated fantasy books I can think of. I cannot praise Sabriel, Lirael, and Abhorsen enough. The fandoms for these books should be massive, there should've been a bad movie in the 2000's and a critically acclaimed big-budget streaming show in the 2020's, ComicCons should be brimming with bell bandoliers and glow-in-the-dark charter marks, I don't know why none of this is true but here we are.

10) The most books you own by a single author

That would be my boy Brando Sando. I don't own all his books by a longshot, but I think I have almost 20 of them which makes him the clear winner. Robert Jordan, Garth Nix and Becky Chambers are probably all tied for second place.

11) A nonfiction book you own

I will never, ever pass up an opportunity to talk about How to Invent Everything by Ryan North (the Dinosaur Comics / Squirrel Girl / Got Stuck in a Hole with his Dog guy). Ostensibly a book written in the future for time travelers to use in the event they are stranded in the past, this book walks you through the steps you need to rebuild civilization from the ground up, from farming to animal domestication to basic medicine to smelting, power generation, math, navigation, engineering, chemistry and literally even computer science.

The wildest part? This book is a riot. It is as entertaining as it is interesting. If you only read one non-fiction book for pleasure, make it this one.

12) what are you currently reading

The Ministry for the Future by Kim Stanley Robinson. A near-future climate science geopolitical novel, it's not an easy read and I'm not sure I'll finish it. It is quite good though.

13) what are you planning on reading next?

As mentioned above, probably going to jump into What Feasts at Night when I'm done with Ministry for the Future. It'll be nice to have something short and spooky instead of long, dense and existential!

No pressure tags: @sherpawhale, @melavixen, @analysethisinkblot, @shadowsofselfdoubt and also just anyone who sees this, I would honestly be tickled pink if you did this and let me know!

untitled, unfinished, les mis~

the document is called “i'm not gonna write pregnancy fic but” so uh, let that be your guide. :) Relevant tags... modern AU, ciswoman!Grantaire, unplanned pregnancy, and if i end up speed-writing more then there’ll definitely be some nebulously-requited crushes

It seems like Grantaire notices that Enjolras is walking towards her before he himself realises what he's doing. Her eyes catch on him and dart back to Eponine; she's just finishing a sentence as he gets into earshot, stepping out onto the patio of the restaurant they'd gathered at post-meeting.

He nods to them both, then when neither says anything, does his best to continue where they left off. "What's a nightmare?" he asks.

Eponine, now that he can see her face, looks furious. "Might be none of your business," she says.

Grantaire shrugs. "I'm trying to make a decision about how something should go." She has a habit of fidgeting with garnish and straws from her highballs when she orders them; right now she's tying a little paper straw into a soggy knot.

"Anything I can help with?"

"No," Eponine answers for Grantaire.

"Well," Grantaire says. "Talking it through might help."

Some people have said that Enjolras is oblivious to social cues. He's aware that he can sometimes be unaware, but Eponine is not exactly being subtle: he's not precisely wanted here right now. However, for as long as Grantaire keeps propping the door open, he'll do his fucking best. "Is it a plot thing, for one of your comics?"

"Yeah." Grantaire nods slowly. "Just having trouble picking a direction."

"Sounds tough," Enjolras says. "But I'm all ears if you want to talk." Grantaire and Eponine trade an impenetrable look. "Or not, I can just head back inside."

"No, no, you know I love your opinions." When Grantaire smiles like that, sardonic, her one misaligned tooth just barely catches Enjolras's eye. The little bit of asymmetry is weirdly compelling.

"I'll head back to the table then." The words are declarative, but Eponine looks almost like she's asking permission, an impression that's reinforced when she waits for Grantaire's nod before eeling back in past where Enjolras had just emerged. "We'll talk later," quiet.

The lull that comes upon them when Eponine leaves would be enough to make Enjolras feel self-conscious, if he weren't so used to feeling on the back foot with Grantaire. "I didn't mean to interrupt," he says.

"We'd been talking ourselves in circles," Grantaire says. "It's good you're here."

The warmth in Enjolras's gut doesn't need to be examined. "What can you tell me?" he asks.

"Okay, so this one's about a fuckup," she starts. She picks up speed as she talks. "Kind of a self-insert, I guess, just some woman on the verge of thirty who doesn't have a solid life: insubstantial job, insubstantial relationships, insubstantial prospects."

The middle member of the list makes Enjolras squint, but he's loath to interrupt her this early in proceedings. 

"She wants something more solid at some point, but she hasn't made any moves towards creating that foundation." Grantaire's eyes fix back on her straw knot. "Probably a lot of exposition blocks for establishing some of this, I guess. Anyways, she makes bad some bad choices and has ill-advised sex with an ex, and in her drunken state falls back into old habits of contraception–"

"Oh no," Enjolras says. "Are you worried that's kind of cliche?"

That shocks a laugh out of Grantaire. "You know, I wasn't before, but now I am."

"Sorry," said with a wince. "That wasn't what you were asking for help with."

"It wasn't, but it's making me think that I can guess what you're going to say about the main question."

"'Does she keep it?'" Enjolras predicts.

A slow nod.

"Well yeah, I guess that is kind of cliche. But it also makes it," he searches for a word. "Relatable? Relevant?"

"Sure," Grantaire says.

Enjolras doesn't know if he's the right person for this conversation. He isn't creative in the same ways that his friends are, capable of spinning strange and endless yarns that follow some rules of narrative that he's learned but that don't come to him naturally. Jehan would probably give Grantaire better advice. "I'm too pragmatic for this kind of thing," he warns.

"Humour me," she says.

"Okay," he says, as he's been saying more and more to her lately. "I guess the first thing is that I need more information. What's her relationship with her ex like? Are they in the picture?"

"Not remotely."

"Is she going to tell them?"

"Oh," Grantaire says. "Right, I didn't say. It was one of those things where she was the other woman, and he has a whole family—wife, kids, whatever. She tells him, and he wants nothing to do with it."

"Asshole," Enjolras mutters, and Grantaire laughs.

She drags her thumbnail over a crease in her little straw knot, flattening it completely. The paper looks like it should be falling apart in her rough hands, but she's moving very carefully. "She knew what she was getting into."

A brick of ice drops into Enjolras.

Grantaire looks up and immediately away.

"Grantaire," he says. Glacier water in his guts.

She bites another grin at him. "Cliche, huh?"

"Oh my god," he whispers. Nobody's ever confided this kind of thing to him before. Grantaire's never confided anything to him before. He feels vaguely divorced from his body.

Who– there had been that old professor of hers, he thinks blankly. They'd had a thing after she'd graduated, and Enjolras had been horrified but she'd said that he should loosen up, and it wouldn't seem so creepy to him when he was as old and wise as her.

She'd stopped talking about him years ago. She'd had an exhibition last month. The pads of her fingers look white through the glass she's holding.

He frowns. "Is that…"

Grantaire follows his gaze to her empty glass. He hadn't realised how open her face had been until it slams shut.

It doesn't close in time to fully catch the hurt.

"Empty? Yeah," she says. "I should get a refill."

His brain catches up, too late. "That was misogynistic," he tells Grantaire's departing back. "I–"

She's already halfway to the bar, Eponine already falling into step beside her. She must've been waiting for them to finish talking.

"Fuck," Enjolras whispers. Cloying shame slows his thoughts.

Eponine's eyes burn into him. Her hand grabs at Grantaire's sleeve.

Knowing society works to indoctrinate people into stupid, sexist beliefs is one thing, but that first thought… Grantaire's her own fucking person who can made her own fucking choices.

(Something inside him whispers that Grantaire isn't known for moderation. He wouldn't trust her with a child, would he?) 

Eponine is gesturing at the bartender, getting a second one of whatever Grantaire's having.

He doesn't even know if she's keeping it. He doesn't even know how many people she's told. He doesn't know anything.

He shakes his head and finally gets his legs to answer him, carrying him through the doorway and between tables and up to Eponine—

Something splashes onto his face, an instinctive flinch too late to shield him from the fizzy liquid. He only succeeds in getting it on his sleeve too. An ice cube drips down his curls into the collar of his shirt. A gasp, a shock of cold.

Combeferre, Joly, and Musichetta were still at their table on the other side of the restaurant, but one of them must've noticed, because they're getting up and coming over.

Grantaire's at the bar. Her mouth is tight.

"This is her shit," Eponine advises in a whisper. "Don't make me lose any more respect for you."

"I didn't mean— I wasn't thinking," he says.

"Start now."

She turns on her heel and ushers Grantaire upstairs and out of sight. Combeferre's asking Enjolras what happened while Joly gets a bundle of bar napkins and starts cleaning up the floor. Enjolras accepts a couple and starts swabbing his face clean of (and he can't help noticing, he's not trying to know that it's) soda water.

"I said something stupid," Enjolras eventually manages. "Don't worry about it."

So... if you don't mind me asking how've you been?

hoo boy. yeah. tldr: alive!

quite a fair chunk of shit happened i think. when i redownloaded the app i weighed up if i was gonna make a post abt what's happened, but ultimately decided against it bc i wasnt sure how active i was gonna be. looks like the answer is very, so i might as well for anyone who's curious (:

on with the details in no particular order!

just before we stopped posting, we mentioned how the company we worked for announced big profits, an expenses-paid trip for the top employees, and also the tiny small news that the team we were on was getting downsized from 20 ppl total to about 3 (6 to 1 for my role specifically). well, we did end up losing our job completely because the company was unwilling to make reasonable adjustments so we could move to the same role in a different team (we don't have any legal grounds to take action unfortunately). but this was fine for us bc we grew jaded with how management was doing shit anyway. they also laid off about 700 people from across the company a few months later.

we spent months trying to find a job, and eventually applied to university on a whim. we got in! we're studying game design and are currently in foundation year (level 0) of the course. we were pretty worried about "fitting in" and suff but honestly we made friends instantly and it turns out a lot of lgbt autistic folks are studying game design foundation year. strange! (/s). its a little weird being part of the popular clique now.

we built a site. a real one! with colours and scripts and all that! a couple sites, actually, but only one is what we're comfortable sharing publicly (other site is sys member info for friends to reference). the site is on neocities, available here. we got really into coding for realsies around the time that we stopped posting. we also got into something called choicescript, but the site took priority as we use it as a digital portfolio. we also started practicing API work by making little tools for the discord bot pluralkit, but they are. uh. far from finished

we got an rgb bulb that actually works with shortcuts, so it inspired us to actually code shortcuts again. they're pretty advanced now; we have a series of them dedicated to forcing us to sleep (it obviously isnt working given i'm still awake at 4am !!), but they're really smooth and helpful

we started drawing properly again (i know we've posted a lot of art on here but most of it is low effort memes. and also none of it was trad art, which we got back into), in order to prep for being asked for a portfolio for uni. which we eventually didnt even get asked for. we opened an instagram account to post it to while we work on getting our art on our actual site, and recently a deviantart account for crossposting.

i stopped writing. i also largely stopped building on my ideas for games and comics and such. this was more because i had More Pressing Things to be writing about, like our CV, and our applications, but i havent really picked it back up. in a bit of a plateau of inspiration rn. wanna fix that though.

we started playing hotline miami, which we'd been meaning to do for years. completed the first, got halfway into the second before a TERRIBLE AWFUL THUMB INJURY (dramatic. didnt even need glue) rendered us entirely unable to use a controller. it healed but we havent finished the second yet. today's actually the first time since august that we've even touched a controller, let alone played any games.

we got back into making music. we decided the system was going to start releasing music as a collective, so we set up a whole youtube channel and stuff for it. videos'll start january 1st, we hope.

i convinced two people to watch red vs blue. my token cishet guy friend who was my colleague at Shitty Workplace (i sent him slutty locus from earlier and his only response was "amazing") and one of my new uni friends (very autistic i think they will go feral for it). token cishet just finished season 8 and uni friend is in season 3 i believe.

health wise has been. a ride... our normal gp stopped practicing entirely, and we dont trust the other gp's at our clinic, so we've been entirely unmedicated and unchecked since november of last year, barring OTC stuff. except for the part where at the end of october we finally saw a rheumatologist (after being referred in 2019!) who said we probably had fibromyalgia. earlier this month we also caught some Mystery Illness that lasted two weeks and nobody knew what it was. our voice still hasnt recovered fully and the whole experience was weird, but the hospital nurse wasnt concerned and it didnt come back as positive for That One Illness That Got Really Popular In The Last Three Years so its honestly likely that it was just the regular old flu, which we werent used to after only really suffering from Disabled Person Sicknesses for the best part of the last 15 years.

we met steve downes and jen taylor, the voice actors of halo's master chief and cortana! got photos & signatures (: steve complimented my jacket and jen Really Wanted A Nap.

WE GOT THE GRIFBALL PLUSH (: i would make this bigger if i could. it's just one of those Material Gains that has a lot of sentimental value to us. and i found my glow in the dark ring which i cried about. again: material gains of high personal significance.

so yeah! a lot. im probably missing something because i have the brain of a sieve. but we're alive and thats the important part.

S3 Has Done A Weirdly Good Job Setting Up For It’s Finale... But Was It Worth It?

For anyone who is thinking this is a gag or a gotcha... Well, it’s a little of the second but it’s not a joke actually. I’m sincere in saying that it has made it so that, despite S2B, it is actually capable of even having a finale at this point that might be at all satisfying. The bigger question is if it matters when there’s so little satisfying about the show at this point or to get hyped about. This was inspired by someone mentioning that they expected the finale to be middling despite loving the show because it simply had too much to wrap up. Too many plot threads to tie together. I mean, come on! They haven’t even given Belos a full backstory yet. Which... That last part is fascinating to me from a narrative standpoint but I also don’t entirely blame them for it. I’ll get back to it though because the bigger question is: How many plot threads really are still dangling? How many character arcs need to be finished? How much expanding on things is there to do? Let’s go down the list of what was theoretically needed to be tackled by S3 once S2 was wrapped. We’ll also talk about how each one was wrapped up (expect much snark), or not as some cases will be: (and sorry if I’m a bit off the mark on any of these. I’ve seen parts of the episodes but still refuse to watch the season itself so much of this is second hand): Returning to the Human Realm: Fixed effectively as much by happenstance as anything else. This allowed the first special to focus more on other matters from what I’ve been told. Speaking of those other matters: Luz’s angst over helping Belos and the Collector: *incoherent screaming* Ignoring this being one of the worst plot decisions in the show, it is wrapped up at this point. Getting Stringbean is effectively that moment. This is, you know, in spite of the fact that all evidence points to Luz entirely ignoring any talk of how mistakes are okay and shifting it entirely onto a personal narrative that is questionable at best because when was the last time someone told Luz no? Or didn’t try their damnedest to understand her? When did Camila ever do this in fact outside of when Luz’s actions caused her to ACCIDENTALLY ASSAULT PEOPLE? But it’s resolved with minimal interaction from other characters besides her mom. Everyone forgives her immediately anyways when it was revealed and it continued into the second special for... reasons I’ll get into. Hunter being a Grimmwalker: Dealt with similarly to Luz’s angst where no one actually thinks it’s a big deal besides him until Belos takes possession of him. They then gut their disability allegories by ‘curing’ Hunter through the death of his best friend. Because I’d totally be cured of my depression if my best friend gave their life to make it happen! Amity... Actually, Amity at the point of S3 has effectively nothing going on that needs further expanding, to the point where she doesn’t bring up her dad in S3 Ep. 2. This is probably why she’s the largest comic relief in S3 Ep. 1 with human realm shenanigans and clumsiness because the writers recognize she’s still the third most important of the characters in the human realm. Speaking of: Gus: Hasn’t had anything going on in the entire show except for single episode plotlines. He was never going to get much out of S3. Or even a S5 potentially with how the writers treated him. Willow: I would copy and paste what I just said about Gus except that she gets stuff in the second special even though many of the elements used for it haven’t been relevant to her character for at least one season, if not literally two. And yet she still gets to effectively be the secondary star to Ep. 2 and... I’ll get into why after I’m done with this portion. Lilith: Her character was done with ‘Cool Aunt Lilith’. Eda: Eda hasn’t actually had anything going on for her except Raine since S1′s finale. Even the S1 finale ends up being treated by her more like a reset back to status quote than anything more which has interesting things about it good and bad. I’m being mouthy enough as is though. Belos: Should have stayed dead and sure as shit isn’t getting anymore interesting just because every bit of lore is tied to his backstory. He’s a villain because he’s an asshole and he really isn’t much deeper than that unfortunately. The best thing about him is change he inspires in other characters and... *looks back at Luz and Hunter* Let’s just say he’s no Perfect Cell, a villain who also gets a lot of bonus points for that same reason. The Collector: Over three months he went from “I can’t wait to play in the bones!” to “What is death? I’m just a wittle guy.” Which is effectively mixing an anarchic, force of nature villain and turning him into a sympathetic villain who doesn’t understand his actions who is Upside: one step away from redemption and Downside: not at all coherent or interesting because he’s so obviously barely a character. He’s just missing too much to not easily be read as a tool of the author to have ANOTHER (the at least fourth in the series in THREE SEASONS) bad guy turned good guy. Just, you know, the biggest because it’s the finale. Camila: She’s a saint with no baggage and resolved Luz’s stuff so nothing really there. The Isles being warped by the Collector: I have thoughts on what I’ve seen and heard but I’ll actually pin this for the same segment as Belos’ ‘full’ backstory. Kikimora: Who was still taking Kikimora seriously? Who COULD take Kikimora seriously by now? She’s threatening only because of a mech but she herself has been a joke since Eclipse Lake. Why would they include her... Put a pin in it. Edit: King: I forgot King at first but he’s honestly a main character at this point because of LORE so I’m not all that surprised. He has such little to do between him finding out about his beginnings to when he found out about his heritage (minus Knock Knock Knocking) that he’s overshadowed by a lot of others. After Titan Hunters, he then became quite possibly the wisest, most rational character in the show. Bare minimum, the wisest 8 year old in existence. And that’s... Just super not interesting. Any real plot line left with King I feel effectively died the moment he was ready to give his blood to the Collector with minimal hesitation. For the greater good, don’t get me wrong, but he’s EIGHT YEARS OLD. And theoretically still the same character as he was in S1. But I’ve done several blogs at this point about TOH’s character arcs being rough to put it mildly. And I could maybe go on but that’s much of what comes to mind immediately. So what is left to cover for S3′s finale? Well... The Collector’s final game which doesn’t have to be that long. The Collector’s turn to being a good guy, likely when his game demands he kill King, or King gets a chance by the rules of the game to kill the Collector but doesn’t do so. Just something that makes the Collector start considering how other people feel about his games and the like in a big, emotional way so he can make his full transition. Belos being forced out of Raine’s body and nuked by The Collector. Again. And Luz’s destiny between worlds. Which world, or both, will she be living in. And that’s... actually pretty bare bones going into a finale. That’s more than little enough to cover in 55 minutes alongside some resolution for the other characters getting happy endings in a montage. And... If you didn’t notice, this is actually mostly what was left on the table for S3 in general except for more potential of the process of beating The Collector being more complicated and harder to do. And that’s where we get into the pins about Kikimora and Willow. They’re padding. It sucks to say, I don’t like it either, but without actually trying to finally use the coven heads as antagonists or have a more protracted conflict with The Collector and what he’s done to the Isles, you needed some way to have an episode in the Isles that still dealt with something specifically of the Isles in theory. And those things were chosen to be first Hexide, a setting that has hardly mattered for about a season at that point besides the fact that it gives a convenient meeting ground for Hunter to meet Gus and Willow... Characters who mostly didn’t matter in S2, and especially S2A for Willow. Second was Boscha and Kikimora for antagonists because one is a Hexide antagonist who stopped mattering before the end of S1 and then the person who had a big enough mech to theoretically even challenge the five strongest witches on the Isles. And then because Gus has a good relationship with most people, plus shipping with Matt, the conflict went instead to Willow. Instead of being clever with her arch and how the show has defined her role in the narrative, they go back to an issue dealt with literally in the first six episodes of the series as a representation for repression. Because out of control magic is totally what makes sense for repressing your emotions instead of, I dunno, her powers genuinely just not functioning because she’s plugged herself up too much. It’s not a bad angle mind you, it’s done fine enough and fits okay with the character, even now, but I also made an entire blog about Too Little Too Late because of it. But then we get to the other pins: Belos’ backstory and the changing of the Isles. These are... theoretically things they cover and expand but they’re also just not narratively critical at this point. Belos is indeed still the main villain but he’s motivated by spite and wanting to finish his goal of killing all witches more than he is by his backstory or logic so his reasoning hardly matters. The changing of the Isles also has mostly to do with selling the Collector as a threat and villain, things that are actually against the writer’s narrative goals. So a lot of things people are asking for are things that, from the standpoint of this being a show with limited time and a high cost of production, just... shouldn’t be covered. That time should more be spent refining finishing the plot and giving a satisfying ending. But when there’s so little to resolve, and characters have been either kind of flat or out of character for much of the season... Why should we be excited for the ending? Especially an ending that has effectively telegraphed itself even before a trailer was put out for it. What sucks about an ending like the Sopranos is that an audience can imagine a dozen ways for it to go down and an answer to that, especially in something they love, can be exhilarating. But in something like The Owl House, where the answers are obvious and only the minutia is up for debate, and much of that minutia could be painful or narratively backwards (OOOOOH BOY will it be a bad time for everyone if they bull the same thing they did with Amphibia and have Luz only live in the Human Realm and wish everyone on the Isles goodbye) then... Why should we be excited? It isn’t the conclusion of a story that has too many questions to be certain about or a villain we want so badly to see brought down that it’ll bring us true catharsis. It’s the ending of a world we once saw so much potential in and now are just hoping won’t die in its final moments. And honestly? For me? I wish the show had actually faced a cancellation because that world feels so small now that I’d rather it have just never been given an ending so we could play in the world as much as we desired and never had to face the prospect of one last, painful goodbye instead of a triumphant farewell.

Please vote! I need external motivation! (I'm still posting Watching Over You, I just need to choose something to finish writing as well)

Summaries:

All of these are endgame Destiel!

Star Trek Fusion AU: I have two fics in this 'verse written but i need to do the prequel first. Castiel, a half-Vulcan Starfleet officer, is appointed as the new Captain of the USS Impala after Bobby retires, keeping Dean as First Officer. Dean does not take well to that. Enemies to FWB to lovers, spread out over at least three different fics! I also made a post rambling about this universe here

Dragon!Cas fic: Set during s9ish when Cas' grace is low - he can regenerate it by spending time in his true form and shutting down most higher brain functions. He essentially turns into a little dragon who gets real clingy around Dean, who is half-annoyed, half-endeared by it. Pretty much just fluff and shenanigans :3

Demon!Dean: Set during the demon dean arc in s10 while Cas is still stealing grace. Crowley captures him and offers him to Dean as a present, and Cas tries to convince Dean to come home while Dean pretends like he's definitely a big bad demon who could easily kill Cas if he wanted, he just. doesn't want to. Angst and smut with a hopeful ending.

Cat!Cas fic: Might end up as a comic, actually - I've got the first four pages sketched out but I don't know where i'm going with it :/ Cas gets turned into a cat by a witch and Dean comes to find him, not realising the injured cat he's been caring for and venting to about Cas *is* Cas. Pining!Dean and hurt/comfort for Cas!

Interactive time loop confession fix it: An interactive fic, made using Twine. You play as Dean, stuck in a time loop of the confession until you find a way to save Cas and break free

Cas Swap: (post-confession fix it) In two seperate universes, at the same time, two versions of Dean perform a spell to resurrect their own Cas from the Empty. Canon!Cas is brought back into a world with a Dean his counterpart has been in a relationship with since Tombstone. Canon!Dean gets that AU!Cas, who is unafraid of showing his love for Dean, but also won't put up with any of Dean's bullshit. Each set of Dean-and-Cas-es have to work together to get Cas back to his own universe, and deal with their issues along the way.

The Wrong Avalon: A BBC Merlin/SPN crossover, with endgame Destiel and Merthur! Set vaguely pre-s12 of SPN and post s5 of Merlin. The British Men of Letters have been trying to raise the mythical King Arthur from the dead for some time. When they finally succeed, however, he does not come up in the UK. Instead, he surfaces in Lake Avalon, Michigan, where two hunters and a put-upon angel discover him. Since he can only speak Old English, he becomes fast friends with Cas, which totally doesn't make Dean jealous at all, but he still mourns for his old life and family. When he discovers that Merlin may still be alive, he dedicates himself to finding him, but when the BMoL close in, intent on using Arthur for their own gain, Arthur must rely on his new friends, as well as his oldest one, to gain his freedom and his happiness.

Btw if you wanna know when I post these, you can follow me on AO3 (same username as tumblr) and/or ask to be tagged!