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#when honestly at this point i dont think i could ever live without him ? really ??

thatoneguydownthestreet · 1 year

Note

Hey so how would lilia feel about apocalypse yuu and the obvious world ending war and after effects from where yuu is from?

Thank you for feeding us apocalypse yuu <3

I started maniacally laughing as soon as I read the name lilia

FEM ALIGNED DNI

How Lilia Vanrouge reacts to the war and its effects:

Lilia would say your relationship was pretty good. As nameless and as vague as it was. It was...peaceful.

It was nice.

You were learning to trust people, to trust him. To let your guard down just a little bit more each day. To speak your mind and make decisions and to just simply walk with him without looking over your shoulder every few seconds.

He’ll never forget that feeling of happiness and relief when you fell asleep with him right there next to you for the first time, or when you saw him enter a room and he saw your shoulders drop just that much.

Once, in the pop music club room, Cater had asked him how he got you to relax around him so easily. He only gave a small chuckle and a vague response, as he himself didn’t truly know at the time.

He still doesn’t. only having a few loose theories here and there, but he is grateful to be able to know you just a little bit more than the average person. To be able to live this long to see you come here, to this world, scared and confused and hopelessly, utterly lost, and then to see you start to really live for the first time.

He hopes he hopes that he’ll be blessed enough to live to see you thrive.

Honestly? he thinks it’s because of something simple. So, so simple

He listens.

Not to say the others don’t of course, they listen!

they just ...don’t really believe you.

Lilia doesn’t blame them, honestly.

It truly feels like you exaggerate your past and lack of knowledge at times.

The most obvious example he can think of is when epel, that pretty first year boy, gifted you one of those beautiful red apples that grew on his parents farm, only for you to look at it with confusion and distrust.

You didn’t know what an apple was.

You didn’t know what most fruits were period. (Or cheese, or most meats,or most vegetables, he thinks he saw you reboot like an old computer the first time you saw milk) Often confusing the names and refusing to eat them if you forgot what they were.

It was at that point where he could tell your rag tag little group of friends started to doubt your words. Just a bit.

He would have too, if not for the clear, heavy distress that simply couldn’t be faked that was ever so evident on your face when he'd asked.

“Perfect, do you really not know what any of these fruits are”, he has taken extra care to keep this conversation playful. He wasn’t trying to embarrass you after all.

You simply huffed, a bit of frustration showing.

Lilia ignored the little happy spark he got from seeing you show what you were feeling. You were getting better at that.

“Of course I don’t! we don’t have fresh fruit in the tunnels! Not to mention things like "cheese" and dont even get me started on good meat!”, you said it like it so obvious...

You never explained what the tunnels were. But lilia could guess.

He had a bad feeling about them either way....

So yes. The others listened. But you could both see crystal clear that they took what you said with a heavy grain of salt.

Lilia on the other hand, believed every word. Or at least tried too.

So when you asked him to swing by Ramshackle saying you wanted to show him something, how could he refuse?

Really, how could he?

....

Lilia Vanrouge didn't know what he was expecting. He knew it was probably something big, judging from your earlier tone of voice.

But this....

this was just sickening.

you sat shirtless on the floor, with your arms out in the air in front of you.

with your scars on full display.

there were (oh great seven) there were slash marks all across your chest. Ragged and uneven and ugly. Looking like whatever cut them in took extra care to truly rip and tear your flesh apart.

There were burn marks on your shoulders and your stomach. Looking like they came from both fire and electricity. The electric burns spiderwebbing their way up the side of your neck and around your sides.

There were what looked to be claw marks and dog bites on your stomach as well, like you were almost frantically mauled to death and just barely made it out with your life.

There was a circular hole he didn't know the cause of on both sides of your right forearm, the underside scar being in the same spot but significantly worse.

There were like deep (deep) bruises that he could see everywhere on your body.

and then there were the marks on your back....

There were whip marks and lashes absolutely everywhere. Slashed across every which way, overlapping with each other and digging into your flesh. there were a few places that he swore had less skin than others. and oh God some of them only looked a few months old.

Some of them were fresh when you came here.

Lilia didn’t know what the rest of your body looked like, but he already knew that your back was in the worst condition out of everything.

A small whimper snapped him out of his thoughts.

You were still on the floor, now sifting slightly, like you were embarrassed.

Embarrassed. What an odd little human.

Lilia immediately got down on the floor and sat in front of you, dust and possible bugs be damned.

He didn't touch you, only looking at your face and tried to make eye contact.

He tried his best to avoid looking at your neck. The lighting in this old dorm was bad but he swore he could still see a slash-

"Y/N....can you please look at me?", gentle. Just keep the tone gentle for now.

You still looked away from him. Lilia sighed.

Gently, oh so gently, he brought his hand to your face and slowly turned you head towards him.

You didn't flinch. Not once! And if lilia silently celebrated this feat later? Well, that was his business, and his alone.

Your eyes held a hint of fear when you looked at him. Fear of rejection.

Why would he ever push you away for something like this?

...Did someone do that before?

He heard you let out a faint, shaky breath, trying to find your voice.

He still didn't say anything. Just let you take your time. He couldn't rush something like this.

So he sat there, just out of reach as to not overwhelm you, as you took a deep breath and tried to compose yourself.

"So uh...I'm sure you have questions", you tried to say it in a way that lightened the mood, but your voice came out small.

It was fine. You couldn't lighten something like this either way.

The fae infront of you looked at you with the patients of a someone who's lived a dozen lifetimes and counting, which made you relax just a bit more.

Good.

"That I do perfect, but make no mistake, you are not obligated to answer"

"No! No, I- I want you to know. I wouldn't have shown you otherwise...", your voice trailed off.

Lilia took a deep breath.

Ok. Sharing scares.

Sharing memories.

Sharing war stories.

He could do that. He's done it before hundreds of times. He could do it again.

He just...didn't want to do it with someone so young. Someone who had absolutely zero business doing any type of life or death fighting.

Unfortunately, life was a total bitch and just loved putting him in these exact situations.

"Ok...ok. so why don't you tell me about...this one first", lilia pointed to the circular hole that went through your arm. He wanted to know what caused it.

(And maybe. Just maybe, find something that could heal it)

You sighed a bit. He thinks in relief? And smiled just a tad.

"Ok... that one was caused when me and a rescue team were trying to locate one of the medics that had gone missing during a surprise raid on the southwest base.... I wasn't even supposed to be there really...", you trailed off again. Your eyes glossing over a little.

Well. That couldn't happen.

The last thing he wanted here was for you to relive any one of these scars.

"What was the medics name?", it was the only thing he could ask, really. He didn't understand much of what else you had said.

You took a deep breath. Right.

You weren't there anymore.

"Caroline. Her name was Caroline. And she has a sister named Kate.... she's the one who put in the request for her to be found. Her body, at the very least"

Lilia began to wonder what exactly happened during these "raids". And why it required children to clean up the aftermath.

"Caroline. She was the medic. Ok.... you said you weren't supposed to be there?"

You looked a little sheepish at that.

"Yeah... our base was short on explosives manufacturers so they sent me. I was still learning but apparently I knew enough to go out there anyway. Heh...yeah, it didn't turn out too well"

....explosive manufacturers?

Lilia had met and worked with plenty if mages that specialized in more.. dramatic shows of magic. Especially during the wars.

How, lilia wondered, was something like that simulated without magic?

...He didn't know if he wanted to find out.

Instead of asking what in the seven an explosive manufacturer was, he asked:

"Why did you have to go though? Surely there were other uh...people in your field? That had nore experience", he kept his tone soft, trying to keep you unaware of the anger that was slowly building in his gut.

You silently shifted where you were sitting, looking like you regretted this more and more.

Damn.

Carefully, he added, "where were the others?"

"...active combat was getting more and more rare....no one thought- I mean- we just needed farmers and hunters and medics more than we needed weapons at the time"

The look on your face was...hard to describe as you struggled to explain your past situation as quick as possible. Like you would be punished if you didn't do it fast enough.

Hm...

"Y/N...", lilia started slowly

He had an idea of what your world was like.

He had a good idea of what your world was like.

And he was hoping that he wasn't right.

Your head raised a bit. Making eye contact with him and calming down just a little. Good. But he was going to feel all the more guilty about what he was about to say.

"Were you by chance, involved in any type of warfare?"

Lilia didn't know what you'd do. He had been ready for anything. For you to scream and shout and scratch and fight. For you to try and deny what you both already knew for whatever reason.

But you never did.

Instead, you just tilted your head to the side, like a confused dog.

Then you said:

"The war ended around...50 years ago? 60? I don't know for sure. The records were all destroyed, and the elders that fought in it are quickly dying out"

Lilia breath hitched.

All those scars. All their stories. Are from the aftermath? The aftermath of a finished war is still producing what lilia believes might very well be child soldiers.

And then you spoke again.

"When I was...I think twelve? I don't know. No one really knows their age. But I was definitely around twelve. The other manufacturers with more experience and a better idea if what they're doing got sent to the northern bases. They were needed there. They wouldn't tell me why"

...

...Twelve?

"Anyways, a couple months later -or were they weeks?- some time later, Caroline went missing"

Twelve?

"And I was really all they had to send"

Twelve.

"Now that I think about it...it was probably because they could replace me well enough if it didn't go as good as it did"

Fucking TWELVE?!

"As good as it did?!", lilias voice startled you out if your own head.

You looked at him. He looked back at you with an expression of exasperated rage.

You stopped talking.

"As good-as GOOD as it did!"

"Y/N. Y/N there is no good in this! This-" He grabbed your arm. Gesturing to the old, half healed scar that had started this whole mess "-is terrible! Dammit this is a crime against morality!"

...

...oh.

You looked at your arm. At the old shot gun would you had gotten after getting your arm stuck just outside if the entrance to the tunnel you and your temporary team had taken.

You could barely even remember why you had it out in the first place.

To throw a grenade you had put together on the spot? A stick of dynamite? You didn't know.

All you knew was that it hurt.

It still does sometimes.

You looked down at your own body.

They all still do sometimes.

....

Oh God...

You looked back at lilia, and the night resumed.

None of what you said will likely never be repeated outside if the walls of Ramshakle. Not all of it at least.

You didn't tell lilia about the scars on your back. You probably never will.

That was fine.

You told him what you had to do to survive, and he told you that you shouldn't have had to do that in the first place.

There were things that were never really explained. Like guns or grenades or that old, abandoned army tank that you played when you were a child.

("So it's a car...with a Canon on it?"

"Uhhhh. Sure. Yeah")

And other things...

Well. Turns out some scenarios are seen a bit different here.

You don't your age.

That's sad. Not bormal.

You don't know who your real parents are. The high infant mortality rate in the southeast base and the tunnels surrounding it that most mothers simply give away their children to avoid the pain of burying their babies.

That's a tragedy. A horrible, horrible tragedy.

Not normal.

Just like your life.

........

As soon as he got back to Diasomnia, lilia went to check on silver. Then sebek. Then malleus.

Silver and sebek were asleep. And he could see malleus taking a walk about the dorm from his bedroom window.

They were safe. Lilia felt his shoulders drop for the first time that night.

...and then he did something he never thought he would need do again.

Slowly, lilia walked over to his desk, lighting a tall, white candle and setting out an expensive piece of meat.

Wasn't the best offering, but it'll due for now.

He hoped it would at least.

Religion had long since died out of twisted wonderland as a whole, with only a few churches and temples remaining in certain parts in the shaftlands and a few of the older families in briar valley truly practicing in this modern age.

Even so, later that night when his dorm and his children were all sound asleep, lilia knelt beside his bed and prayed to his old god for the first time in centuries.

He could only hope that they would be answered.

#twst x male reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge #lilia x reader #disney twst #apocalypse reader

1K notes · View notes

milknhonies · 3 months

Text

The Negatives of Shooting People

Chapter 5 || MasterList || Chapter 7

Chapter Summary: You get the ultimate privilege of meeting Nicholas Tortano who grants you the ability to surprise August Walker

Chapter Warnings: 18+ Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Sexual tension, P in V intercourse, fingering, petnames, dubious consent, hate sex, rough sex, gun violence, threats with a gun, forceful handling, belittling, manipulation The reader vomits and is kissed briefly at some point. Mentions of dacryphilia, sadism.

Pairing: Kingpin!August Walker X F!reader

Word Count: .I dont honestly know but it's definitely more than 6k

Author Notes: the chapter and editing process was very rough I'm very sorry full stop my life has been in a business because I'm trying to find a new place to live and I've started going to the gym and missing out on a lot of sleep. I'm about to pass out which is why I'm posting this now. Again sorry for any mistakes granrma and otherwise

Inspiring Song: "girl with one eye " Florence and the machine. (Yes I know it's a sapphic song- I sing it like every day but let me have this pass to add it in)

08:09am Monday 19th August 2024, Robertson, Brisbane.

'What the hell is she thinking?'

Henry shook his head as he reached the complex exit and walked out onto the street to the waiting car.

He wanted to smirk but the frowning scowl would not drop from his face.

'If I was anyone else, God what I'd do to her-' his hand clenched the passenger side door handle hard and slammed loudly behind him. His eyes shut and his head tossed while the car swayed and rocked.

Jude, his driver and loyal friend smirked, “You must like this one...or is there a pile of meat up in that apartment that I need to fetch? I can call Riggan the pig farmer in the Lockyer Valley, anything left over he can throw in Wivenhoe dam.”

August sighed and chuckled, "She's alive and well. No sweet treat for Coles piggies...but...I need you and Wesley to look into the Pig she has been accompanying."

Jude smiled and leaned over, clicking the button of the glove box compartment. Inside was a yellow envelope. August's eyes fluttered before his face broke out into a grin.

"You are a fine friend Jude," he said as he plucked the envelope and spilled the printed notes out onto his lap, "Do you ever sleep? Jesus mate."

The raven hair man giggled and started the car to a silent hum.

As the driver put a hand behind Augusts car seat and reversed the car out onto the main roads he smugly said, "I take pride in investigating, especially bastards like him."

August's fingers flicked through the pages of graphic intel. With racing eyes he soaked up the words and photos. Lloyd Hansen...an absolute moron. His nose flared at what he was reading. He grit his teeth. Especially when he recognised a name in bold he hadn't thought about in at least half a decade.

"Well, well, well, he's got kittens for sale," August scoffed.

Jude hummed, "And meddles in the dogs pack, it would seem little Nicky is out of the jailhouse."

Both men smirked. But August was by no means pleased.

He was grumbling to himself. You were now sticking your toes into the deep end of the pool without floaties and he was worried he wouldn’t be able to catch you in time for the dunk.

Entering his club, sneaking in with the detective, he didn’t think you were dumb enough to think you’d distract him... He read through your charade the moment his eyes laid down on you from above walking in with that man.

His eyes and ears were turning red.

It was tricky but thankfully he had the means to warning that cop not to touch what belongs to him...however how close could he really get to that bastard without potential outlash. He knew he needed to order another grandeur meeting. While everyone was in town, it might be his only opportunity.

When August forced you to watch the murder of the embezzler, he had every hoping intention that it would persuade you to never talk to the cop again. A normal undercover pig would’ve stopped the show then and there, called back up.

But there was no back up...no...there was only sweet little innocent you and your pathetic phone camera. If Lloyd was after information he would’ve wired you up...Lloyd wasn’t there for him...he was there for some selfish reason...

When you ran off and pulled the alarm a dozen things went through his head. You were going to get yourself killed if you kept running. So he chased you. If the other men of his circle saw August Walker hunting, they would have been inclined to hunt you down too. And if they caught you...they would have done more than rip your head off.

He couldn’t tell you. He wasn’t sure how. You were already distrusting and scared of him there was no way he would be able to explain all the details and with your pure heart, you wouldn’t understand his world and why his side of the fence did such heinous things.

But...he would keep you safe. He wanted to gain your trust while not mistaking his authority...he knew what he had done was traumatizing.

He was no stranger to rape. Especially the european parties...those special events where he would join his friends like Kenny Strong and Arthur Kingsley ran the highlife of elite gentlemen and some lucky women born into those elite families. He wasn’t entirely fond of the practice. He didn’t like to beat women, but he did love to tie them up and humiliate them to tears.

Something about crying made his cock hard- no, something about you crying did...

He made you cry and he tried to bend you to his whims...he had already begun the conditioning where you would call him Daddy to gain his affection and praise. It pleased him significantly. He would shield you from those terrible memories even if it meant torturing you into talking about them. Externalising, confessing, it was all a form of therapy and he knew he had finally cracked the surface of your mind. He wouldn’t break you but he would chop at you and cut the mould. He would heal you. He would rebuild you and give you all the happiness you could ever want.

Sitting back and shoving those papers into the glove box he licked his bottom lip in thought.

When he woke up that morning, he watched you sneak out of the room. He smiled and amused himself. He watched the cameras from his phone. You were in his room...now that was very silly...he watched you choose his shirt and his shorts. He bit his lip to hold back a laugh. You looked so confident but so ...innocent...particular. He watched you grab a knife from the kitchen, he half heartedly believed you were coming back to stab him.

When your hands reached for the glass doors he launched up. He hadn’t warned you about Kal and he knew that dog could rip a man up, probably kill you easily if his fangs cause your wrist or neck.

He wanted to spank you and fuck you hard until you screamed mercy for trying to run away.

Rather he chose a simpler and easier punishment, one you essentially consented to the night before. Watching you suck cock was an interesting spectacle. There was a certainty you’d never done it before or not that many times before.

As you gagged on his cock with those big beautiful eyes of yours, he imagined all the things he’d buy for you...all the things he’d do for you... You might’ve been on your knees but something screamed at him to serve you as a slave.

Jude broke the silence eventually. He smirked, “So, am I right? You like this one?”

August smirked back, “’Like’ isn’t a word I’d be using.” He was fucking obsessed.

09:06am Monday 19th August 2023, Woolloongabba, Brisbane

You didn’t make a call. You couldn't. August broke your phone as you recalled.

You showered and scrubbed your face until you could feel the slight peel of your skin. It stung, but it was better than the sting you felt from the memory of his cum over you...in your mouth. You brushed your teeth for probably fifteen minutes just to erase the muscle memory of his cock brushing the back of your throat.

You changed out of August’s clothes and threw them into the bin. You couldn’t take off the collar and it made you feel suffocated. The kitchen scissors managed to scratch up the leather but the metal ring that encased inside was too strong.

You shook your head and felt nausea rise in your belly again. Without any food, all that came out was bile and acidic spit. You fell to your bedroom floor and started hitting the carpet, awful noises of grief and need bellies from you. You felt strangled. You huffed and spat random threats and insults, pretending he was there to hear them...he...August or your father? It didn’t matter.

You clenched your fist and smacked your head trying to regain your thoughts.

You kicked your dresser and rose from the floor. You found your bus pass and left the apartment, walking out in some jeans and a loose tshirt with a pair of running shoes.

The bus trip wasn’t a far trip to the police station.

You didn’t have the intention to report the kidnapping. No, no...now you were pissed off. You were scorned more than once by men around you. There was only one person you could trust in this world.

“Hi,” said the administration clerk, “How can we try an help today?” You fought the urge to roll your eyes, 'oh bitch if only you knew.'

“I’m after Detective Lloyd Hansen, is he here?”

You needed to confirm if the man was still alive. When you pulled the alarm, things were run or die in that moment. You hoped the man had the wit to run instead of confront the mafia or whatever this criminal group was.

The office was feeling slower today. It was filled with idle chatter and coffee machines grinding beans and a printer scanning documents.

“Do you have an appointment today?” she hummed, tapping at her keyboard.

You blinked and your teeth sneered.

You almost strangled that worker with the telephone cord. No. You didn’t have an appointment.

You just wanted to see he was alive. To tell him you were alive...and to collect your fifteen thousand promised reward for your “services”.

Your hands uncontrollably slapped on the desk cause the admin clerk to roll a little away in their office chair.

“I want to see the detective, now.”

“It’s alright Sandra...I can see her...” Lloyd said behind you. You flipped around. He was coming out of a small cubicle.

He looked...tired...shocked...relieved. it was all over how he looked with his loose tie, bags under his eyes and the clench of his hands on some paperwork.

He slowly stood to you and guided you away from the service desk. He whispered, “The white corolla...I’m about to finish shift.”

09:14am Monday 19th August 2024, Sunnybank, Brisbane.

You remembered his car well. The day he drove you home, you were so scared and confused. That day you’d reported that August may have sexually assaulted you...that day he definitely did...

This time you weren’t waiting in the cold for Lloyd, the sun was hot and beating down.

He came jogging down the front stairs of the station and hastily unlocked the car.

You wordlessly slipped in and buckled up.

When he got in he slammed his door a little too hard. He pressed his face to the top of his wheel and swore softly.

“I thought,” he swallowed nervously and sat up to look you up and down, “I thought he really had killed you. I tried calling thirty fuckin times these last two days. What happened? Were you hiding?”

Two days....god...you had been gone, missing, for that long?! Missing Friday...return Sunday.

You shook your head, “I was the one who pulled the alarm Lloyd...he knew what we were doing...he was going to kill you. When I made a run for it like everyone else in the club, he managed to track me down...he...” you trailed off unsure if you wanted to repeat the actions, the words, the confession.

Licking your lips you said, “August Walker is a dead man walking...and...” your stomach started to growl, “I’m starved, and I’m sorry to be bitchy but you...you at least owe me a meal Lloyd.”

Two days...you had only a few pieces of chicken in two days. No wonder you felt like total crap.

Lloyd didn’t argue. He took you straight away to the closest fast food drive thru. You ordered so much and Lloyd didn’t dispute a single item. He settled for a simple burger, fries and larger soft drink.

Lloyd drove you both to the kangaroo point lookout, it wasn't too far from where you already live. You stared out at the city buildings and Brisbane River with a strained sigh.

You chewed silently on a nugget for a moment before you explained what happened. How you were caught, how you almost got away...

“Jesus,” Lloyd rubbed his eyes and sighed, “I...I think I...I’m sorry I took you for granted Y/N. When I left the building I search everywhere for you. I thought...well- I didn’t know what to think.”

You munched on a handful of fries, you didn’t care if you looked like a pig as you did it. Stuffing your cheeks full of a burger and then a massive gulp of an extra large drink. You swallowed and thrived off the heart burn aching in your chest, reminding you you’ve eaten too quickly.

You burped and then softly moaned, “I need to feel safe.”

“You need to move...Y/N please,” The begging in his tone was loud and clear. There was serious fear in Lloyd.

You wouldn’t submit to August Walker and you refused to run from him. You were now met with the choice...you were either going to destroy his reputation or literally destroy him....your blood pumped loudly. He made you talk about your father....your fucking father...and on top of that, he made you call him daddy.

What mind fucked you was how you were yet again able to walk away...not unscathed but definitely alive.

“No,” you dismissed unwrapping your second burger, “He will find me...I know he will...and even if he kept me alive both times, a third is pushing my lucky, I know you understand that.”

Lloyd shook his head at you and put his hand over your burger, stopping your next starved bite, he hissed “You think staying where you are is safer? You don’t know-“

“Lloyd!” You snapped, you slapped his hand back and shoved your pointer finger into your chest, you sucked down a shakey breath, “...I know...I do know. I need to protect myself when he strikes again...it’s worse now...I have too much collateral... He let me witness that murder in the club.”

The detective raised his brows at you, “You mean...” the blood drained from his face.

“Cameras were in the VIP rooms Lloyd,” you grit your teeth and glared at the view of the city buildings, “I saw a lot more than just a fucking man’s brains being blown out from his skull, hookers, coke... Auctions...he’s got it all in The Lion Lounge.”

The detective rest his fingers on his top lip. He was slowly nodding.

You sucked down a long drag of your straw and gasped, asking in the same breath, “Lloyd I want a gun. I won’t let him rape me again.”

You needed the protection from August or any man he sent to kill you.

Lloyd chewed his bottom lip and shook his head.

“Do you have a gun license?”

“Do I look like I have one?” you snipped. You knew it wasn’t fair on him for your attitude but you didn’t have the time to focus on his hurt feelings in regards to your mental health and physical safety.

“Have you ever even shot one?”

“Nope. But it only takes one shot to kill him close up.” You threw the wrapper out of his car window and rubbed your face.

If he didn’t come near you, he would be safe, and you could just work on collecting evidence for the courts.

The detective sucked his bottom lip and shook his head, “It’s too dangerous.”

“Oh piss off!” You stomped your foot and twisted your body to face him, you grabbed his loose tie and tugged it as you seethed, “Lloyd, you practically thrust me into his arms and you have the gall to say now, me owning a gun is ‘too dangerous’?”

He gently grabbed your wrist and pulled his tie out of your fingers as he shook his head at you. His nose flared and he started to raise his voice at you, spit flying from his mouth as he hit the wheel with the palm of his hand. You expected a detective to hold a little more composure.

“Fine. Fine! But are you really willing to go to prison for life if you do manage to kill him? Think about this logically.”

His eyes were wide and his brows twisted with worry.

You fell quiet. You wanted to say yes. You wanted to stamp your foot again and scream that you’d spend two lifetimes behind bars if it meant his demise...except...was your demise worth the cost of his? Would you drown with him in the end of all of this if you killed him.

You noisily sucked at your straw.

“No...” you whispered, you didn’t want to cry in front of Lloyd but your tears were coming up, beading in the dips of your lids.

“No, that’s right,” Lloyd rubbed your shoulder with his thumb, “He isn’t worth it.”

Your lip pouted, “Why can’t you just...arrest him.”

He sighed and rubbed your back as you started to break down into pathetic frustrated sobs.

“Lawyers, laws and money,” he whispered and fluttered his eyes shut, “He has his ways. The only way we can take him down is if he is caught doing the hefty, big crimes. If I could’ve gotten the proof of the weapon dealers he would’ve been considered accomplice to the crime.”

“S-so if...if you..” you wiped you snotty nose on the back of your arm, “If he was caught on camera...he’d be sent to prison?” You started to laugh mechanically, “What if...what if I let him rape me. A nanny cam on my night stand or something?”

The office shook his head for the dozenth time, “By the law that wouldn’t be considered rape...only a messed up porno, especially if they see you set up the camera.”

Your fingers aggressively clenched another handful of fries, you didn’t eat them, you just threw them back into the bag.

“...I...what do I do Lloyd?” A fear of hopelessness tapped your brain.

He was quiet for a solid minute. He stared at you all over. You knew the bruise on your face was visible. He kept looking at your cheek instead of your eyes. And his gaze fell down to your neck. “It’s a collar Lloyd...he chained me to a bed for two days...”

His lips parted and with a impatient voice he asked, “Do you have a gym membership?”

“No? Why?”

He started his car and made you put your seat belt back on, “Okay, I don’t care, you’re getting one, right now."

Your eyes shrunk, “Why?”

Lloyd gruffly snarled, “Because I’m going to teach you how to fight.”

He would teach you at least some self defence. August might’ve been twice your size but if you could get the chance to get away...Lloyd would make sure you would take it..

05:30pm Monday 19th August 2024, East Brisbane Anytime Fitness Gym, Brisbane.

“Again.”

Your back hit the padded wall, your knees hit the floor as you cupped your middle and tried not to puke up the fast food from earlier.

“We have been at this for three hours!” You groaned, trying to use the foam wall to stand up again.

You were convinced Lloyd liked to beat you around, the red marks and bruises that were rising were the evidence.

“Until you can take me down,” Lloyd nudged you with his hand causing you to almost fall back down, “We aren’t leaving.”

You hissed angrily and stood up tall “Fuck sake.”

You held up your arms like he showed you. He started throwing his blows, you blocked him with your forearms and ducked away from his large swipes. He kicked your ankle and watched you crumble to the ground again.

“Watch your feet.” He scolded, “You are smaller and surprisingly speedy, use that to your advantage!”

You rolled your eyes and bit your lip. Getting to your feet you pushed up and launched your body at Lloyd who was checking out one of the yoga classes in the other room window.

He crashed to the floor. Your knees straddled his hips as you huffed with glee, “Ha! Home time!” your palms rested on his naked sweaty chest.

He chuckled and shook his head. He pushed you up by your hips. He shut his eyes, panting, “Again...then home time.”

You grumpily groaned, “Fine!” your ribs hurt bad and your knees felt swollen.

It was agreed by you both that if you needed to reach out you needed to use a burner phone or a payphone. Any calls or emails were going to be noticed.

When you felt the spray of the hot shower water at home, you cried. It felt good. You touched the collar still around your throat. Training to protect yourself reminded you the pain was worth it.

10:16am Wednesday 21st August 2024, Brisbane CBD

“Mr Luther, I’m so sorry for not calling in sick,” You wrung your hands in front of your boss, “Please forgive me for the unwarned absence.”

“Please!” He laughed heartedly, “I just assumed you were clicking some more photos!” He stood out from his chair and sat on his desk above you, “Did you hear about Walkers club almost burning down?”

Looking down at your lap, you reminded yourself that Mister John Luther was not a man included in the circle of trust. Nor were you convinced he understood the severity of the crimes the criminals he wanted to chase for gossiping stories committed. Your hand touched the ends of the scarf you wore, covering up the hideous black leather around your neck. You tried all morning to cut it off with a pair of scissors but you came to feel the metal circlet inside and gave up. There was a hole in one of the bottom cabinets where you had kicked in a hole...that was okay, you had an extra fifteen thousand pounds in your bank account.

You assumed Lloyd finally sent the money through.

“Did it?” you coyly asked.

“No clue how damaged the place was but the massive party was cancelled. The fire engines went zooming down this street Friday night.”

“What happens now then?” You glanced up at him and chewed the inside of your cheek, “With the smuggling case?”

“Put on hold for now,” he sighed and squeezed your shoulders, “I don’t have any sources about the next possible meet and greet. I was hoping you could keep the same production rolling. I have a new project involving a Nicholas Tortano. I want to get an interview with him.”

You didn’t recognise the name at all. Your fingers pinched at your long sleeve shirt. “An interview?”

Luther nodded, he winked and went back to his desk draw, slapping out a manilla folder.

He rubbed and clapped his hands, pushing and opening the new case to you.

“He has a history of his employed persons going missing. He has criminal history ties with Irish gangs and the italian mafia. I have a page of questions, I would like someone to ask him.”

You cleared your throat, “Me?”

Wagging his finger the elder man laughed, “No one has quite the balls as you deary...”

It sounded...Too dangerous.

“In that case,” you shuffled forward in your chair, “Can I be paid upfront for this job?”

You would not die at the hands of one gangster when you had your eyes set on another. Luther almost looked like he was going to tell you to get the fuck out of his office until he looked at your photos of August you’d taken. He was quickly reminded you had the best skills and to lose you would be suicide for his paper... You were the best thing to have happened to him. He accepted.

You sat in your work cubicle and aggressively jabbed at the key pad of your work phone. It’s not hard to find phone numbers. Nicholas Tortano had a nickname, “The Black Dog.” He was caught by paparazzi coming out of court a few times. His business empire related to charities. He was a philanthropist with a dirty history of crime connections. He had only been found guilty of third degree murder but many news articles in the past twenty years all labelled him as a omen of death, because anyone that had done him wrong was found dead not too long after...

You found the phone number and took a lucky gulp. There wasn’t an address for any business so if no one picked up, you were worried Idris might fire you for that mere disappointment alone.

The phone rung out once. You dialled again, the receiver picked up. You held your breath.

“Hello, Tortano and associates, who is calling?” the masculine tone soothed out.

“Hello, my name is Y/N Y/L/N, I’m a journalist from the local paper. Is there a chance I may be able to book an interview with Nicholas Tortano?”

There was a steady silence and a soft hum, “What does this pertain to?”

You rubbed your eyes and looked over the notes Luther had given you in the folder, “....People think he is ‘a mass murdering psycho with a thirst for crime’, I’m hoping to ask him some questions to seek the truth.”

“How ludicrous,” the man chuckled, “I am a gentleman. A businessman. Not a criminal.”

You strained over the phone as you spoke to the secretary, “I am sure but this is in regards to Mister Tortano.”

The phone went quite again, you thought maybe you’d lost the connection.

The sweet condescending waved through the sound, “I am he...are you free today for lunch?”

With widened eyes your voice caught in your throat. You felt like an idiot...you never imagined he would answer the call to his own company. CEOs never answer the call of a civilian first hand...

You cleared your throat and nervously clicked a pen, “I am, where would you like to conduct this meeting.”

You could hear him click something too. He sounded warm, and inviting on the phone, “Do you like Italian? Have you ever heard of Vapianos?”

A tiny smile touched your lips. When was the last time you were asked out to lunch? Your eyes rolled, for fuck sake, this was a job...not a date.

“I don’t mind it.”

11:54pm Wednesday 21st August 2024, Brisbane CBD, Vapianos.

Nick Tortano had invited you to a side of town with skyrise buildings. The Vapianos restaurant was on the bottom floor of some massive buildings.

You wrapped your scarf around your neck again. The leather was tight around your throat. It was like he was there with you...holding you...as you cried over a father that you loved and hated.

You shook your head and looked down at the notebook and piece of paper you were given by Luther.

You looked around at the tables and the waiters. The place was sparkling with a quality of...the wealthy and corporate. The palm leaves, the tinted glass windows that raced from floor to ceiling, the champagne glasses on a nearby table. It was all glorious decoration.

All the people there were beautiful...not a single appearance that resembled you...a pauper.

The awkward steps you took towards the receptionist resembled a weak lamb. You felt stupid for being there.

The server looked you up and down and it caused a sting to any confidence you had left. You touched your scarf.

“Hello, I’m looking for a Mister Tortano we have a meet-”

A hand glided across your back, you jumped a little and became confronted with a pair of dark brown orbs and handsome white teeth, “Hello, Miss Y/N.”

Nicholas...he was tall and wearing a simple sweater. Despite his causality he held an air of regality. Not to be overly romantic but you felt he would be a stunning prince if he was a royal member.

“I hope you don’t mind but I’ve had them set a table already.”

He held out an arm to you.

“Not at all,” You flushed and happily accepted it. You tucked it around and let him lead you carefully to a table. There was a set of plates and two wine glasses.

“Just give me a second or two to set up, is it alright if I tape your voice?” you asked reaching into your handbag.

He pulled out a chair for you and explained, “I would prefer no tapes, but I’m not adverse to photography.”

It wasn’t an unusual request. Lots of people didn’t like the sound of their voice. He must’ve been one of them.

It didn’t matter, photos were more your talents anyway.

“In that case, may I take the photos first and then perform the interview?”

He nodded and flashed a bigger beautiful smile.

“Where would you like me?”

You pulled out a office camera from your bag, you didn’t have time to go home and grab one of your ten others. You started to turn it on.

“If you could look away from the lens, relax your shoulders, lean back and look like you’re thinking. No smiling.”

“Do I look ugly with a smile?” he cheekily asked.

You couldn’t help but smile. He was charming and flirtatious and incredibly handsome.

“Terribly,” you teased, “No, my boss would just prefer a little more seriousness I believe. To make the page appear professional...plus the topic regarding the article with a smiling photo you’d look like a madman.”

He nodded promisingly and fell into the pose. When he heard the camera clicked a small smirk pulled at his lips before quickly trying to compose his face.

When the photos were finished you stuffed the camera back in your bag. He relaxed from his falsified stern appearance.

Now came the interview. You pulled out the sheet of questions Idris provided. Under no circumstances were you meant to ask anything but these....except....the questions....well...they were...

“So, you...ugh...hold on a moment....”

How many people have you killed?

What is currently the cheapest drug you can achieve from your circle?

Are you a homosexual?

What the fuck?! You weren’t even sure if you were legally allowed to ask these questions due to discrimination laws.

“Um...I...”

He smiled at you from across the table. You felt a pearl of sweat forming on your forehead.

“Stage fright?” Nick asked softly, tilting his head. He snapped his finger and a waiter came over and poured water into two cups. A basket of breadsticks were placed in the centre.

“No, well...yes...um. the questions I’m meant to ask you I stupidly didn’t read before coming here...” your cheeks felt warm. The embarrassment rose fast.

“So they’re not your questions?” his eyebrows lifted. His finger traced the lip of his glass.

“They’re my boss’s but I said I would ask them.”

Nicholas' lips parted back into a smile, “Enlighten me, I will be less offended knowing they’re not from you.”

You smoothed the paper out on the table and pulled out a notepad, clicking a pen after finding the least offensive one you licked your bottom lip and stuttered, “How...how would you describe yourself?”

He sighed and held the cup to his lips, “Vain, rich with a dominating grace.”

Those weren’t usual qualities someone described themselves as, usually people preferred to remain humble and soften their reality. It was an interesting new perception to attach to Nicholas Tortano the criminal who covered his wrong doings with funding medicine for sick children.

You noted it and looked at the page again to try and find another less offensive question. Frantically your finger scrolled down all the words. Your heart started to pick up. These were so ridiculous and disgusting. Right I go the jaws of the black dog- that’s what Luther had done to you.

You shyly laughed, “hmm, I...let me...-”

Nick slapped the cup back on the table. His smile had fallen, “Politely, Miss Y/N I don’t like my time to be wasted...how about you hand me that piece of parchment.”

He reached over with lightning speed. He pinch the paper and dragged it to him.

“Hey!-”

“Now now, here’s what we will do,” he peaked up at you and licked his bottom lip, “I’ll answer these questions and so will you.”

You lifted your chin and looked at him cautiously.

“But they’re not for me.”

“That doesn’t matter, I can see you’re nervous darling...so...let’s break tension.”

He trailed his thumb down the page and sighed, “Let’s see...ah yes I see how these would make you less inviting to involve yourself.”

After a moment he glanced and smirked at the questions, god you could throttle Luther right now for letting you go through this stupid interview.

“How many years did it take you to be where you are now as one of the most notorious crimelords?”

You tried to put on your best smile, “...yesterday...I stole this scarf...” you lied.

“Why Miss Y/N you must be a terrible influence!” He feigned a gasp of horror which made you lightly giggle, “I don’t label myself as a crime lord. As over the phone I stated simply, I’m a business man...my business so happens to involve crime. I’ve been in this business since I was thirteen years old. My first offence was Car theft. That was almost twenty years ago.”

Your throat shut. He was in his forties!? The damn bastard had the option of early 30s or maybe 20s if he shaved off his stubble entirely.

He looked between your face and your hands, “Are you going to write that down or do I have to do that too?”

You blinked and jumped with a start of noting down the new information, “Oh yes! Sorry!” Scribbling quickly you watched him, watching you...he was staring...like you were...something unusual.

“How many sentences have you been charged with?”

You shrugged unsure why you felt ashamed to say, “None.”

The pen in your hand twirled as the handsome gentleman scratched his nose, “Too many...in all up it has kept me behind bars for nine years total but I’ve been in and out for years. I only returned to the public eye a month ago.”

“Woah,” you whispered.

Nine years? A month? You didn’t have a lot of time to research him considering the call for lunch was so quick and speedy.

His fingers tapped the table softly. He shrugged, “Its not as bad as tellie makes it out to be...in fact it’s a way to network well. You can learn lots of new tricks when you’re forced into tight confinement.”

You started to take dot points. It’s interesting...being in prison for nine years...not all together but all total. Making connections and friends inside prison didn’t really click at first. You always assumed prison was a scary and lonely cell where you had to pee in front of everyone.

Nick looked back at the page and laughed, he rubbed his mouth and shook his head, “Are you a homosexual?”

You also laughed but it was more a awkward shyness, “No, I think I’m bisexual if anything but strictly gay I’m not. I can’t understand why that question would be even asked, I’m so sorry.” You grit your teeth and looked away.

He tilted his hand and shrugged, “It’s vicious rumour that I’m a pillow biter...I am not a homosexual.”

Its all he said. And that was something you really didn’t like writing down...it was so unnecessary.

“What is currently the cheapest drug you can achieve from your circle? Miss Y/N don’t tell me you sell drugs?” he giggled and folded the paper back a little.

'Jesus Christ'Luther!!!...you really wanted me to ask that!?' Your fists clenched under the table.

You dismissed it and grinned, “No, I do not. Sorry to be so boring....you?”

“Paracetamol,” he answered, “I can sell you some right now, I like to keep some nearby.”

Anyone could sell paracetamol...he deliberately said that, you knew.

“After the interview I think I might just,” you laughed and rubbed a little at your temple.

“How many people have you killed?”

You gasped. Your chest was like a loud metal band concert with your heart as the instrument racked, you didn’t understand how that was possible.

“None.” Well...your father....maybe...Nick didn’t need to know about that.

The philanthropic crime lord aka ‘businessman’ remained totally silent. Your hand paused.

“Are you not going to answer the question?...”

He put the paper down and plucked the menu, he unfolded the cardboard covered in matte black and gold designs, he looked down at the wine selection, “I think you might need to do something for me to answer that.”

“What?” you wanted to say you’d do it. But why would you promise anything to a man with his bad record.

“I’d need you to kill someone. And you don’t strike me as a murderer Miss Y/N.” His dark gaze flickered up at you, “Now...what would you like to eat?”

You bit your lip. He’s definitely killed before, or else he would’ve just said no. He wanted to you to know he was a murderer...you knew because his eyes remained perfectly still as he said it. No tremble or lying shame in those pupils.

You sat forward and drank a bit of your water.

Perhaps meeting Nick wasn’t just a benefit for the paper gossip. Maybe he could help you...you heard his voice ask you another question, probably about the menu, you do not remember...instead your thoughts tumbled out of your lips.

“....do you sell weapons Mister Tortano?”

The question caught him off guard. They weren’t on the paper your boss provided.

“Weapons?” he asked cautiously.

Shit, you had gone too far now to recall your thoughts, “Would you sell a gun to a woman even if she doesn’t have a license?”

His eyes sparkled.

“Whatever would you want a gun for Miss Y/N?” he leant back in his chair and pressed his fingers to his lips.

You tried to explain, but it was hard. You looked over your shoulder. It was too public to be discussing this. You whispered, “... There’s a rat who won’t leave me alone. I’d like to scare him...”

His eyes narrowed a little at your speech. He knew you weren’t being literal, so he replied coolly, “Are you asking for a gun or pest control?”

You whispered again, “A gun.”

He fluttered, you could tell he was staring down your shit to check for a wire.and clapped his hands loudly. The entire restaurant went from idle chatter and laughter to utter silence...it was eery...like a dream or a nightmare.

Nick shouted at the top of his lungs, echoing off the walls, “Leave us!”

The entire assembly of guests started to rise from their chairs. They packed up their brief cases and hand bags. Abandoning the half eaten food and untouched wine and champagne. Your nose wrinkled. What the fuck... they were all heading to the stair well, ignoring the elevators.

You looked back at Nicholas, confused, wondering if he meant you to leave too...you pinched the table cloth worryingly.

“Have you thought it through?” Nick asked now that the restaurant was empty, and quiet.

“What?” you didn’t understand. The entire perception of Nick Tortano was collapsing. He was so powerful...all those people were his. All of them under his thumb...all of them so obedient...

“Do you intend on threatening or killing?”

You felt trapped by his words.

“That’s my business Mister Tortano, politely speaking...” how could you confess to your intentions.

It was bad enough that he knew you wanted a gun.

You wondered if there was any chance you you make a run to the doors and run away. You were stepping from one scary man to another at this point.

After a while of sitting ashamed in silence, he stood up from his chair. His fingers lazily brushed the table, until he paused in front of you. He dragged his hand under your chin. He made you look at him, standing above you. His hand violently tore off your scarf and he tutted, “Is he the one who put the collar on you? The man to cover you in bruises? Might need a better foundation darling...I’m not stupid. I’d like to know if it’s going to reflect back on me. What’s the chaps name?”

You didn’t like how personally close he was standing above you. You felt small and trembled beneath his pinning dark brown eyes...they were practically black like some soulless shark. His white teeth looked starved.

You lied again, “...Lloyd...Ha-Han-Hansen...” perhaps Lloyd could handle Nick? But how? He couldn’t handle August. You regretted saying his name but that was it...you threw the only friend you had under the bus.

“Hmmm can’t say I know him well...”

“He’s um...a lawyer,” you lied again.

He smirked and whispered, “Is he?” his eyes narrowed with a glint of mischief.

He flipped his cardigan sweater up, on his hip, inside tucked in his jeans was a scary black gun... A hand gun.

“Well I do hope you get what you want out of him,” he pulled out the gun and set it on the table in front of you, “Here, consider it a gift...I find your disposition incredibly pleasing...”

You glanced at the gun and felt a rush of something...adrenaline? Anxiety? Arousal? Something became alive...

“I need to go. I’m so sorry,” you rushed to stand up, you pinched the weapon and carefully tucked it into your hand bag, “I need to leave.”

This was too easy. Far too coincidental. Maybe this was your father's spirit watching over you?

“Until we meet again,” he chuckled and stood aside. You could hear his wickedly laughter as you fled to the doors. As the doors closed behind you, you could see in the distance, Nick standing by the windows smelling your scarf deeply. Your hand touched your throst and felt the jagged material. You weren't sure if you wanted to go back for the scarf. Watching him press his face into the soft material- the action was perverse...he was perverse...just like August. A mighty shiver rolled up your spine. You didn’t have time to worry about that.

You were filled with all the raw emotions of the last month. Anger, grief, revenge....

You now had a gun... The power to wield death easily. Now you just needed your chance.

You kept hearing Lloyd in the back of your mind...would killing August be worth your own life?

Especially life in prison.

You shoved it back and focused on the pain you felt, the agony as you cried in his lap under threats of his spanking. He wiped you when you used the toilet...he called you puppy...he forced you to cum and cry....he made you beg and suck his cock just to hold you...he treated you as a subhuman.

02:06pm Wednesday 21st August 2024, Woolloongabba, Brisbane

You opened your front door, slamming it behind you. And as you started to slide the bolts and chains, you heard something down the hallway...a small crash? No? A grunt...

Angry eyes and a sneer grew on your face. You marched down, your father’s door was wide open.

And there the fucker was. August... Folding clothes into your father’s bed from a washing basket.

You saw red.

“Wh-what the fuck...get out!”

He lifted his head and finished folding a pair of your jeans, your head leaned back to your bedrooms opened door before you looked back at him inside your father's room.

“Your home is a mess,” He said nonchalantly, “I won’t have you stomping around in squalor.”

He had gone into your room and cleaned it. And on any given day, that would’ve earned a man a blowjob, not him though, no...he was in your space and invading your life too much.

With a flared nostril you snarled, “I am giving you five seconds to leave. Or I'll-”

He snickered at your defiant demand, “Or what? You’re going to call the cops?”

You didn’t want to kill him here...You dug into your hand bag and it felt impossibly slow and heavy in your hand. You pointer the gun at his head and fought the trembling in your body and your voice, “Or you’re going to choke on your own blood August.”

His eyes widened, he didn’t expect your display. He paused and continued to fold the laundry. You didn’t like being ignored and moved inside of your father’s room. It wouldn’t be the first time a man died in this room.

“You’re not going to shoot me,” He said without a single hint of fear.

You held the gun now in both hands. You stood strong and came closer around the bed.

You scoffed, “No, of course not, you manipulate me, drug me, hit me, and raped me but 'oh nooooo I won’t shoot you'?”

He smiled and shook his head slowly. He appeared so unafraid and that caused a spit of hate to hit your face. You wanted him to be on his knees, begging for his life, pleading for forgiveness while he pissed himself. This was not at all what you imagined, him folding the washing and sorting to find pairs of socks.

“One,” You said.

He sighed and threw your underwear back into the basket. He started to walk around the bed gradually.

You screeched, “Two, stay the fuck away from me!”

He stopped and raised his hands. Slowly he perched himself on the corner of your dad’s bed.

“Three,” you said a little shakily. He still didn’t flinch. You felt suffocated. Why wasn’t he scared?

You pissed in his lap when he pointed one at you in the club. This wasn’t fair.

Tears uncontrollably started to fall from your eyes. You didn’t want to kill him...god you hated him...but if he wasn’t going to beg you, you didn’t want to kill him. Especially in this room...besides ...what would you do with his body?

“F-four, don’t make me do this August!”

You moved closer and closer until the tip of the metal weapon pressed into his forehead.

It was now or never...“Pl-please, don’t...” you begged, hoping he would walk out of the room and apartment. You squeezed your eyes shut.

You pulled the trigger and screamed as you did it. The trigger didn’t move...it felt stuck. You pulled it again and nothing happened. You opened your eyes and noted how the gun hadn’t gone off and August was still happily breathing with a dark, sadistic grin on his moustached lips.

“Five...” he hummed and wrapped his palm around the barrel, pulling it up and tugging it away from your trembling hands, “your safety is still on, and...” He clicked off the top and sighed, “It’s not even loaded.”

You crashed to your knees and vomited right over his leather shoes. You weren’t prepared for the rush of exhaustion to hit you. Your body shook. Your fingers clenched the soaked carpet. The metal of the unloaded gun lifted your chin up. Tears ran down your cheeks beautifully.

“Tell me, did the piggy give this to you?”

Your swollen lips blubbered, “No!” Lloyd didn’t need any more wicked men following him around.

You shut your eyes and sniffled. Surely August would kill you. This must’ve been some sort of a strike three, yes?

“Then where did you get your paws on one of these?...” he bit his smile lip.

“A friend...” it wasn’t a total lie. Nick liked you, you somewhat found him intriguing. Yes you’d only met that day...but he was a friend now for a moment in your mind.

August pulled you up into his lap by your hair. Hot lips pressed into your neck and nuzzling your ratty leather collar, “You were really going to kill me...weren’t you?” he cooed as you started to sniffle and choke on your tears, “You pulled that trigger. I underestimated you sweetness...don’t worry. I won’t punish you for that.”

He cupped the back of your head, pulling you in for a big kiss. His lips soft, but his hand tight and filled with dominance.

You felt light. He was kissing you just after you vomited. Gross.

He pulled away and spat at the floor, he chuckled and pressed his nose against yours.

“In fact...I got you a gift.”

You whined and fluttered your eyes, “I don’t want a gift from you.”

You weren’t mentally prepared for any sick sexual torture he had in store for you. You could see his jaw shift and his eyes dash back and forth.

“Are you sure? I think you’ll like it.”

Your hands touched the collar hopefully. Maybe it was the key?

He slid his hands under your armpits. You heard your bag hit the dry side of the floor.

He lifted you with ease to your feet and pressed a hand at the small of your back, pushing you to the bathroom.

He was so huge compared to you. The lower ceiling made you have a flash of worry...what if he hit his head?

He was fine.

He turned on the shower and peeled away your clothes. He wasn’t rough, and he wasn’t leering...he was soft...and patient. He pushed your long sleeved shirt up and gasped at the sight of bruises Lloyd created from the gym. His thumb unkindly pressed into one. You whined and tried to step away but your ass pressed into the vanity sink.

He knew he hadn’t given you these.

“And who has my puppy been playing rough with? Don’t tell me you’ve spread your legs for someone else now...”

He turned you around slowly, inspecting the marks he had not made on your skin. His hands palmed over your flesh.

The steam from the shower began to whaf out. You tried to not imagine the water bill ticking up.

He pinched your bra off and watched your arms circle to cover your chest.

He turned you back to face him. Unbuttoning your jeans, he tugged them down and helped take off your shoes. He pressed his lips to a bruise on your outer thigh. The temptation to throw your knee into his throat was great.

His hand cupped the back of your knee. His nose was so close to your underwear covered pussy, you could feel his hot breath tickling your clit.

Your panties were gradually pulled down to your ankle and you used his shoulder for balance as you stood out of the flimsy material.

He stood back and opened the shower door for you. He left the bathroom door open and you didn’t want to risk a punishment for locking him out. He took your clothes to the laundry and heard him open your cleaning supply closet where you kept a mop and broom and vacuum cleaner.

As you soaped your body, the suds building along your skin and back you sighed. The collar rubbed against your neck. It was a reminder...

He was powerful. He was scary and you were risking death. You had just tried to kill him...at any moment he could bash your head in until your skull caved, no one would find you for days...maybe weeks...he said he wouldn’t kill you but that was before you pulled a gun on him.

You were angry at yourself...angry at Ben....why would the gun be empty?! Couldn’t Nick have told you that? Maybe he assumed you knew how to handle one...

August came back into the bathroom after ten minutes of cleaning. You didn’t dare to leave the shower in that time.

He was back. And now...he was naked. You uncontrollably worried and pressed your back into the bathroom tile. He stood into the shower, stealing the hot spray when it hit his back.

He was so hairy, and huge. He was like a bear.

You gulped and glanced at his dick. He was flaccid but you knew he could fuck you with a soft dick or just his hands alone.

He held out his hand and whispered, “The soap, please.”

Your hand shook as you shakily handed over the small white bar. It was the cheapest shit on the shelves you could find.

Now you regretted not spending the money you saw in your bank account. You would die feeling poor.

You tried to cover your nakedness. A hand between your thighs. You felt the bareness and cringed your face. He would’ve waxed you again or shaved while you were ‘in his care’ after the club incident.

The huge man started to rub the soap along his thighs and his arms and chest.

He smelt of your vomit...he cleaned it up for you...his clothes...you could hear the laundry machine.

He either was cleaning evidence or he was staying the night.

His face...was soft. He wasn’t angry...he was deep in thought... He was pleased. The faintest of smiles was on his furry face.

When he was finished. He touched your waist and pressed you to turn around him in the cubicle. Now the hot water covered your shivering skin. He rubbed some more soap into his hands and rubbed the bubbled into your skin. Along the back of your neck he rubbed and pinched. A tiny moan imminently slipped from your lips. You hoped he hadn’t heard it.

He did...

You knew he was gliding his hands down to your bottom and rubbing the darkened skin he planted when he spanked you. You hissed and softly swore as his thumb pressed in. A small threat, a warning? A reminder...

He touched you everywhere except your tits and your cunt...which shocked you as you braced from his hands every time they drew near those areas. The sense of denial played in your mind.

Your body felt warm...humming as it was teased.

He did touch the leather around your neck and tutted at the parts you damaged with scissors, where the metal you couldn’t cut poked out.

Turning the shower off, August opened the door again and guided you out onto the soft floor mat. He took a towel from the vanity draw and wrapped it over your shoulders like you were some kid at the beach.

He wrapped a towel around his waist. His body dripping and soaking into the edge.

You were poked out of the room and made to go into your room. Your dad’s door was still open however and that made you uncomfortable.

On your bed...was a box....

The gift...was an actual gift!? It was wrapped in white and gold paper with a pink tulle ribbon around it.

You shifted your towel around to wrap yourself in and looked between the man leaning on the doorway and the wrapped box on your bed.

He nodded to it. Open it. A silent command.

Your curled your lips into your mouth as you pulled the tulle ribbon away and scratched the paper back.

A deep gasp left your chest, “A phone?...”

It was one of the newest if the models you used. This type of phone usually cost three thousand dollars!

Behind you the awful man laughed softly, “For stepping on the one from the club.”

The tiny smile that was coming to your lips, disappeared. If he hadn’t reminded you of that night, you might’ve kept smiling. Your fist clenched. You were angry. Did he know how scared you were as you ran in the dark? Did he know you hated him even more because of this gift. This wasn’t a gift, this was a bribe...

Your jaw ticked and you turned on your heel, you held your towel tightly, “I am not saying thankyou.”

He chuckled at that and nodded, he tilted his head to the side and wagged a finger at you, “I swear every time I see you, you become twice as fiery.”

When he stood forward you got scared and tripped back and fell onto your bed. The phone box slid to the floor. Your heart raced. You noted how you accidentally flashed him as the towel fell from your hands.

He paused, not moving any further. He could see how frightened you were. And if you didn’t know any better...he didn’t want to scare you today.

His smile fell and he sighed, “Before I forget...your sex toy arrived.”

You crept off your bed as he left the door way. He was quickly back before you could make an escape.

He held a box and threw it to you. Without thought you let go of your towel and caught the box with the erotic images and product on it.

Stark nude and wet you stood. You turned away from him and put the box with your newly bought toy on the bed. You put your phone box beside it.

He was watching you with bird eyes as you tried to pick up the towel and cover yourself again.

“So let me see,” he hummed, he crossed his arms over his chest and clicked his tongue, “First you threaten to kill me,” he pushed away from the door, “You then attempt to actually kill me,” and he shakes his head chuckling, “and now I find out my cock isn’t enough to satisfy? Good heavens...have I neglected my greedy little puppy?”

Your hands lifted... Your towel was loose but you had tucked it to your body. You prepared your fighting stance like how Lloyd showed you.

“Get out...” you spat.

“No,” he smirked, “I will not.” He launched forward.

He grabbed your towel and you slipped from the material. You ran around his body, ripping his towel off as you ran out.

You slipped on water droplets in the hall and slid down the hall to the kitchen.

As he came around the corner, you flung a cupboard door open hard that smacked his hard in the face. You smiled hearing his painful groan.

"Fuck!"

He pushed it back and tried to grab you as you ran around the mini island. You threw his towel at his face as you made a rush back to your room. You managed to lock a chain and bolt on the bedroom door. You panicked and climbed under your pathetic single bed. You heard him behind the wood.

“Open up little puppy...or I’m gonna huff...” he said, “and then I’ll puff...”

When you made no sign of opening the door and remaining beneath the bedframe. The door burst open. The locks tore through the metal nook. He walked through. He nakedly crouched by the side of the bed and sighed at you curled up under your bed. He shook his head and softly smiled. He laid flat on the floor beside you.

“Watcha doin down there sweetness?”

You felt a breath escape you. A soft laugh. Was he fucking serious?!

“Hiding,” you mumbled into your wrists.

He fluttered his eyes shut. His hand rested on his Bare stomach.

“Well I found you, so you might as well come out. You’re black and blue. I don’t want to drag you over the carpet, don’t want rip up your knees pup.”

You couldn’t understand why he kept calling you that. You weren’t a puppy...you...you were human and you still weren’t sure how that pet name even fit you .

You knew he was right though, there was only way out and it didn’t matter. You would need to face him. If he wanted to kill you, nothing could’ve stopped him from strangling your throat. After a minute or two you finally gave in... Wiggling your butt from under the bed. He moved up to his knees. He watched you stick your head out and shimmy to the open air.

You knew trying to run out the door was useless and there was no other locks other than the front door. You rubbed your lips, staring at the broken locks and the door that hung off only one hinge...you really hated him...

His large soft hand rubbed your cheek and the back of your neck, cupping you closer to his body.

Both in your knees, he pulled you into his chest.

You pleaded softly, “Please...”

“Kiss me puppy,” he begged and looked down at your lips. You glanced to his eyes and shut yours as your pushed your face up.

He was gentle. His tongue poked Into your mouth and your lips closed. He kissed you and sucked on your bottom lip loudly. God it felt good. It felt hot and inviting. This kiss was like a deep hot bath or a cosy blanket. His hands squeezed your arms and cocooned you closer to his damp skin. You just wanted to wrap yourself in his body and sleep...except your body felt attacked by an invisible electricity, like a dozen bees rumbling down from your chest to the folds between your thighs.

Your could barely breathe.

When he pulled back he shuddered, “Are you turned on?”

You gasped, “No, why would I-”

“You’re trembling.”

“I’m scared,” your nose twitched and your gazed over his chest, feeling his cock twitch against your belly.

He chuckled and shook his head, he pressed a hard kiss against your cheek, “Merely two sides of the same coin...”

You whimpered and felt his hands smooth down your ass to your thighs. He lifted you up and pushed you onto your bed. You were at the same height now. Him kneeling on the floor with your sitting on your bed.

“You are safe, trust me,” he kissed your lips briskly, “Say it.”

“I...” you hesitated, “I am safe...and I trust you.”

His thumb pressed under your jaw, he kissed you again, “Good girl. I am not going to hurt you...truly...I promise.”

He dragged his lips down to your chest. He sucked in one of your tits. His lips smacked as he licked and sucked around your skin, you felt strange. Dirty but in a good way. Your own back curled to push into his mouth.

He pulled up after one satisfying suck, “That felt good yea?”

“S-so good,” you stuttered. Your cheeks felt warm it was like you were drunk but you knew you had a full sober conscious..

“Would you like to feel that again?” he asked, his hands ran up your thighs, spreading your knees.

You sighed as his thumb licked at your clit. You rocked your hip a little and whined. Fuck it felt good.

“Answer me puppy”

“I- oh god- I want to feel that again.”

He kissed your belly and pushed you back a little. Your head thudded against the wall. Your hands shakily grasped some pillows and put them behind your back. Your gleaming cunt glistened...that was totally you...no lube...no spit....just your arousal alone.

“Look at this pussy.” He marvelled as he pushed two fingers inside. You gasped and let out a feral moan.

“It just swallows up my fingers...do you like my fingers fucking your wet pussy?”

You whined and but your lip. When you didn’t answer, he pulled them out. He started licking them lewdly as he waited for your reply.

“I...” Your hands covered your eyes as you moaned, “I don’t know.”

“Are you turned on?” he asked you again.

“Yes,” you admitted. You just wanted his fingers back there again.

“Do you want my cock?” He purred in a soft belittling time.

“Y-yes...” you almost sobbed. God admitting it now made yourself sick. How could you admit to that? Your entire goal was to kill him. Take him down. Destroy his reputation. But here you were.

In your bedroom, crying for him to fuck you with his huge dick.

He climbed on top of you and tugged your ankles over his waist.

You felt his hard head press into your hole. His cock popped inside and his hips started the deep defend inside of you. He held your hips, lifting you up.

“Do you hate me?” he crooned, his teeth gnawed at your earlobe.

“I do,” you growled, in his ear, “fucking hate your guts.”

He laughed and groaned, “You hate my fucking guts?”

“Yes, fuck,” you gasped and scratched the back of his neck.

He was stretching you out and you drowned in his touch. You felt his cock tapping at your special spot and felt your knees clench tighter around his ribs.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” he asked despite being balls deep and jerking his hips into yours.

“Yes. Oh god,” you gargled as he decided to slam himself harder and faster. Your nails dug into his biceps. Your teeth were grit tightly. You kept swearing. It hurt and felt so good altogether.

“Who do you belong to?” he sighed, his eyes winced while your pussy clenched him tightly.

You grunted angrily, “No body.”

He punctuated with his jerking hips, “You. Belong. To. Me.”

“N-no!” You yelped, his finger curled under your collar and tugged up you neck until you were forced to put yourself up on your elbows. He slowed his speed but kept his deep entrance.

“Oh but you do puppy, you do. You already know it. You just don’t want to admit it.”

His other hand pressed against your clit and your eyes rolled a little. Your nostril flared. Fuck that was painfully good. He tugged you up by the leather strap until your nose pressed against his. His moustache tickles against your lip.

“Whose collar is around this throat?” he growlee.

You grunted, “Yours.”

“That’s right...it’s. Mine. My. Collar.”

He kissed you hard and possessively. Not once did he let the collar go. He shoved his mouth into your ear as he ground down hard inside your cunt.

“Would you fuck any other man with this collar on?”

Your hand hugged the back of his neck and scratched, “No!”

“So tell me, who do you belong to.”

Your gasped, spit flying from your mouth against his as you said it, “Y-you.”

“That’s right, good puppy. You belong to me. I own you. You are my pet. You are mine to look after...mine to protect.”

It was a mantra, a speech that planted itself into your mind as a new fact...like a new commandment that always had been yet unspoken until now.

“Say it you little bitch,” he barked.

“Yours, I’m yours,” your eyes rolled as you started to cum, your words caught in your mouth until you Released a ear piercing scream, “I belong to you!!”

You felt him cackle as you wailed through the orgasm. The pressure was like a water balloon bursting in your belly and shooting a burning pleasure through your cunt.

It took you a while to calm down. You sobbed. The pleasure was too much...you felt confused and consumed. His cock twitch and he grunted loudly before freezing. His cock moved again and you felt him pull away, his cum rushed out and dripped out of you.

You felt full and empty. It was an unusual sensation.

He was sweating, your were drenched. Leaning over your trembling body, he pressed a soft kiss to your temple and sighed, “what are you?”

“Yours,” you whined.

He chuckled and shook his head. His fingers pinched your jaw, “No, what are you to me?”

“I...” you paused and blinked lazily. Your brain was too fuzzy. “I don’t understand...I don’t know.”

Your hand wandered up to your throat. His hand was fiddling with the metal. You heard the collar pop and click. He pulled the collar away and threw it over his shoulder, “You’re my puppy.”

"And..." You voice rattled through your teeth, "And you're...daddy?"

He kissed you again and nodded, "Good girl."

HELPLINES:

If you are a victim of sexual abuse, assault or domestic violence or know someone who is please reach out to these links that share helpline services, phone numbers or emails. Consent and respect is important in every relationship whether between friends, family or even strangers. .

Australian Helpline Services

UK Helpline Services

American Helpline Services

India Helpline Services.

#tnosp #dead dove fic #dead dove do not eat

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bogslob · 2 months

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I think zukos character development is kinda missing in the live action. In the original he does bad things and hurts people, here they let other people do his part. Just to make him more likeable? Just like taking sokkas sexism away, it's not a bad thing as long as he grows out of it.

Hi, this is so exciting, my very first one of these question thingys.

Okay so I kinda agree with you. I do feel like Zukos anger has been kinda watered down, but he still does bad things and I honestly dont feel like his character changed that much . For example in the cartoon his attack on Aang set Kyoshi on fire and it didnt in the live action and I don’t feel like this has any repercussions on his character because I never felt like it was intentional to set the fire it was just a by product of Zuko trying to capture Aang, and I feel like if it had happened in the live action Zuko would have reacted the same way. I think Zuko never wanted to hurt people, but capturing the avatar was so important to him that if people got hurt on the way so be it, capturing Aang was worth it, but I don’t think in either version he would have hurt people if he could have avoided it.

I think thats what makes Zukos character development possible, he never wanted to cause any harm. I think it’s important that we see that what ever is going on with Zuko he truly cares about people. I think one of the key moments that shows this is when in “the storm” (cartoon) Zuko momentarily gives up on capturing Aang and prioritises his crews safety. I think another key moment was when Zuko attempted to save Zhao from koi-Aang, it seemed so poignant that even when he was the bad guy he would try and save his enemy.

I think it’s his desperation thats missing in the live action. The absolute drive to capture Aang and regain his honour. I think the reason he was willing to put other people in danger is because he valued capturing Aang over all else, at the end of the day, it was Zuko who was in the most danger every time, he was always the one to fight Aang head on. I think this is best evidenced when he swims through the seal holes to enter the northern water tribe. I just don’t feel like live action Zukos heart is truly in it in the same way. I think this is so important for Ozais and Zukos relationship, and without Zuko having this same desperation it seems less plausible that he would re join the fire nation at the end of season 2. We have already seen that the live action Zuko has fought Ozai at the agni kai, which makes me feel like he is allready further on his journey towards rebellion. Although to be fair his lack of desperation may be in part due to the fact that live action Ozai seems to have a slightly better relationship with Zuko, almost seeming proud of him for finding the avatar (although we also have no idea how he acted when he was around Zuko), but he does still burn Zukos face off so I think this is unlikely.

At the end of the day, I think both Zukos loyalty is to the fire nation, but I think in season 1 cartoon Zukos loyalty is to Ozai and live action Zukos loyalty is to his people.

But obviously this is all subjective and from the point of view of someone who has watched the cartoon many times and therefore my opinion is heavily influenced by this. I also feel like live action Zuko may be better than he really was in my brain because honestly he was the only character I liked. I am very curious how someone new to the series would view live action Zuko though.

#that was a very long winded way of saying I agree but also dont #i definitely need to watch both series’s again #and compare the differences #i havent seen the cartoon in years #and to be honest I didn’t pay that much attention to the live action #what are the seal things called i cant remember #nahvatar the last airbender #atla live action #atla netflix #atla #natla spoilers #natla #netflix avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender live action #avatar live action #avatar #Zuko

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wildglitch · 1 month

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More ideas for the What if...Zombies Spidey X DC AU

I wanna expand from this a bit cause I thought of it the other day and it wont leave me alone 💀

Anyways, these are just some points I have decided to add to this AU starting with Peters background and what I think he went through. Since this is mostly Marvel stuff, you can even ignore the DC aspect of it

Buckle in cause its a long one

-The Zombie apocolyps started when Janet got back, and canonically, that was about a month before Bruce showed up. So we have a month to play with and get everyone together, but honestly, that too little time for me man. So Im changing the timeline so that everything started 7-8 months earlier. That gives our heros time to find eachother at diffrent times and overall really let Peter live in a full blown Zombie apocolyps

-Peter, totally spent like a full month and some alone. He was told by Tony to "stay put and help the little guys" and just never saw him again. Poor guy.

-All his friends and familly died within the first week. Some lasted a bit more then others but all of them ended up getting infected. So by the second week Peter had lost everyone he ever knew and loved

-Peter spent his month alone searching New York for survivers. He was so deaspreate to find people and protect his city that he would go days on end without sleeping or eating.

-In his attemps to find any living being, he made all of Queens and later the rest of New York into his web, so he could know whenever anyone got caught in it ( like how Andrew Spider-Man tracked the Lizard in his movie but way bigger) He also has help from all the surviving spiders helping him in his search

-Adding to that- his webs? Zombies dont like it. Peter upgraded the formula to make some that dont disintigrate, but Its not that it hurts them, they just avoid it. he thinks they can tell they shouldnt touch them.

-A month alone has gotten Peter to see things. Thing he wishes no other person has to ever whitness ("Holy fucking shit the rats got infected!")

- Peter made himself a guide for this like in Zombieland. Rule 7. Dont go into the sewars

- Peter killed 9 Zombies in his time alone and he hated it

-We could either do "Bucky arrives to the webbed New York and finds feral spider child who attacts him cause Peter hasent sleeped in many days and hes scared shitless of the first human he finds" or " Hope is informed by the others that they havent gone into New York cause something is guarding it. But when she enters to investigate, insted of finding some eldrict Zombie horror, she finds a small scared teen in his web that just wants a hug from a matrnal figure" pick your favorite, (it could also possibly be both tbh)

-Momma Wasp > Mother Potts (Im sorry but its true 😔, the content dosent lie)

-Peter was one of the last if not the last person to join the group before the episode happend and when he saw all of the people that were there, insted of being sad of how few they were, he cried tears of pure joy over the fact he wasnt the last person alive

-Peter Hugged happy and he didnt get pushed away :)

- Peter hasent showerd in weeks Parker: Im so happy Im not alone!

The adults, who havent had as nearly as bad as a time as Peter: Have you meet soap????

- Peter had already made the base we see in the episode long before the others arrived. He had hoped it would be one of many safe houses for the survivers he would find, but that quickly become a broken dream. He was so happy to be able to use it, and no ones had the heart to reject his base even though they had their conserns about the saftey of it. (the base never once fell due to Peters care)

- Peter was super deppressed even though he tried to hid it, so Kurt, being the only semi-normal person there, told Peter to make videos for future survivers they find. And thus, his guide become digital!

-I like to think the group had like 4 or 5 more people at the begining, but over the course of the months, they ended up dying and getting infected before the episode.

Possible characters could be:

Matt Murdock: survived cause he could tell when someone got turned (he's canon now so it counts lol)

Any of the Barton kids: They where pretty isolated, so maybe we could have one of them survive and be rescuede by a S.H.E.I.L.D agent and end up with the group (+2 angst points for losing their sibilngs)

Jack Lockly: And only him. The rest of the group see this random cabie surviver wondering "how tf?", while in reality, he was minding his own business at the back of the mind and is now forced to front 24/7 cause they are in constant danger with the Zombies and he has no idea what to do. (The others are not responding, he has a big ass bird yelling at him, and he has no clue what to do with the body or how to fully take care of it)

Darcy Lewis: She was in her 2 broke girls era when shit hit the fan and now she's here

Kamala Khan: *Looks into boxs grandma brough during visit* *takes bangle while running from Zombie* *Puts it on* *Survives* *Suprised Pikachu face*

You could posibly add other characters you like, but dont forget that these guys have to die by the time the episode rolls around so keep that in mind

-adding to that last to point:

1.Matt and Peter became close and would go on suplie runs together. Matt trained Peter a bit, and Peter would acompany Matt to church. Not cause he has too, but because he wants to be there with him. Something happend and Matt sacrificed himself to save Peter. Achevment Unlocked: The Sensei always dies

2.Peter, Becomes friends with the other Surviving kids: *Insert happy spider*

His friends end up dying: *insert depressed boi*

3. Pete: Sooooooo

Jake: ?

Peter:... Have you ever had to deal with this old Dominican lady named miss Sanches that lives between 7th and 8th?

Jake: Thats really racist, yk that

Peter: OH! No- I just

Jake deals with horibble passengers Lockly: But Yes! jfc she was the worst!

Peter deals with the little people Parker: RIGHT!?

4. Darcy Lewis: *determend to save this poor kids love life*

Peter fought his dates dad Parker: Boy do I have some bad news for you

5. And saddest one: Whenever one of them died, Peter would take their belongings and burn all but one thing a keep it on him to remember them by. I'll let you sit with that

Remember, That up there is in the gray bettween canon an non-canon. I'll let you guys pick.

-Hope became a mother figure to him. We always have the "Oh so and so is his dad" or "Hes totally *Insert characters* son"- NO! HE IS A MAMAS BOY! Look at Him! That boy was raised by a woman, to respect women and Im teird of people ignoring it! (Lmao)

He bonds with her over science, their experiences with super heroing, bugs, and their want to save those who they have lost. When she found him, he was so teird that he mistaked her for his aunt May and cried into her arms. they dont talk about it much, but Hope put in the effort so that he dosent have to do to many hard things.

-You ever seen any of the marvel cast interveiws? ya, thats Peter and Buckys relationship just more in character. sure, dose Bucky see a bit of Steve in Peter? Sure, but not enough to stop him from throwing that lil' shit to the wolfs (Zombies) . Remember how in another post I mentioned how Peter would be thrown out the window? Ok, now imagien them having to be roommates because of how the base is set up (Every one must share a bus with another).

Peter may have lived with the others. But Bucky was his Roommate, and they both know shit you can only learn by sharing a room. Its a constant game of blackmail and horror.

-Happy's additude twords Peter turns from Homecomming to Far from home In this time.

-Every Holiday was celebrated.

-And Finally, Every death hit much harder due to all of them being much closer

Do I have more? Yes. Is this post way too long? Most definetly. Do I regret it? Kinda, but its fine. Will I make another post focusing more on the crossover side of things? Of most definetly and that is a threat.

But for now, I give you Zombie! Peter AU "Content". (Not the comic, but thw What If episode) (Can you telling I'm having fun with this AU?)

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dearweirdme · 1 month

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you know I have always been one of the first in lines fighting to defend Tae from that rumor, I'm 100% positive that is mediaplay still but something shifted these days as in yes it was mediaplay but ultimately Tae did choose to take part in that paparazzi walk( albeit he didn't look happy at all I think I have reasons to believe that even if he was somehow coerced he probably was made to feel like he had some negotiation power too) and honestly I guess I felt more adamant to defend him bc i saw how much he tried to fight the tide and separate himself from all of that ( the wv live in the airport, these insta pic changes being the last example etc and seeing ppl disrespecting his agency and his right to state himself his own truth really pissed off me a lot ) but I started to think these last days what's the point in him doing all of that when he agreed to do that walk and he must know what would happen otherwise why did he even agreed, what is he even fighting himself doing little things to separate himself from being associated to this person when he will forever be associated,for the gp and fandom itself and as you said once this will be in the historial of his live forever? By doing all of that it's like he made us, the fans who cared for him and were paying attention to him fr want to defend him too and literally fight air because there is nothing to defend when he did that walk, when the purpose of that walk being met. I'm not saying he did any of that with the purpose of having fans fighting on his name at all, I don't think so but that's what happened, I guess I'm feeling disappointed these days bc i see no need for him to even fight against all of this when this issues reached the levels it did when he chose to do the walk. I'm also disappointed bc i think anything he might do that would have been considered brave and important about his identity before loses weight completely now, him smooching jk's cheek on the party and uploading it, him being bold etc bc no one but a small group of ppl considered delusional by everyone will see this for what it is. He can do a lot now only bc no one it's going to take him/it seriously.

I used to be pissed by Holland behavior that one time but I even kinda can get the frustration now. Tae is safe or at least has reduced the risk at a minimum now to do whatever bc everyone thinks he dates women. And some ppl be crowing him as an LGBT icon when some other idols have actually exposed themselves honestly to a lot more without any security plan to fall back into. And that actually feels like being brave and doing something. Not making everyone who supports you look like a delusional clown and make the thought of you being queer laughable to most ppl. Moonbyul being a pretty good example of someone who has been direct and brave.

Im sorry I really needed to vent, I have loved Tae for a lot of time ( not that i dont love him now but sometimes i cant shake the disappointment and the distaste of not being able to enjoy his content without seeing him being constantly related to ppl I don't like at all) and I'm open to anyone making me feel different about this situation

Hi anon!

Let me give you my perspective on this and maybe that will make you see things differently as well.

Tae is moving within certain boundaries. It is most likely that there are actual clauses in his contract that tell him what he can and cannot share publicly. That goes beyond plain saying that he is queer. That also goes for the level of queerness he can show through art and media. Basically I feel he is able to show queer media and art, but not adress it as such. Going beyond that would probably mean he’d be breaching his contract, which could lead to monetary penalties… and when it goes too far he could be kicked out of BTS (not that I think it would ever go that far). I think it’s possible that with this new contract, things have become more loose though. BH/Hybe doesn’t want to lose Tae, because he is one of the most popular members and losing any member would look bad. So I think there was some leverage there.

In my opinion it should not be underestimated how bad things still are for queer people in SK. Artists loose their careers over it stil. People like Holland are absolutely very brave and I hope within time there will be more and more like him. But you cannot compare one person’s choices with that of another’s. I think Tae possibly discovered his sexuality when he was already under contract with BH.. that would mean he had the choice to either hide, or to break his contract… leave BTS… and be left with a shitload of debt (because you don’t simply leave a contract). He would have no perspective of any career after that.. losing all his dreams and all chances of having any influence at all. It is an impossible choice maybe.. or maybe not.. I don’t know. Has he chosen to leave BH would his life have been easier, better? He would still have had to deal with severe homophobia. So I don’t think Tae had much options but to hide in the first case. It is not something he chose.. it was basically decided for him. Contracts are no fun anon, they basically chain them to the company in many many ways. I don’t think Tae ever had the option to be as open as Holland. And I think that is something he struggled with greatly. So if that walk was something he agreed to just because it would give him some more room to be authentic, I am absolutely not holding that against him. It doesn’t make him bad or whatever, it makes him someone who needs a bit of room to breathe.

In general I don’t feel Tae owes us much. Speaking for myself, I am here completely voluntarily and completely aware of forever being shit on by the rest of fandom. I’m of the opinion that both Tae and Jk aren’t actually fighting to be out and open.. so that probably makes my perspective on this different than yours. I think they’re just trying to live their lives and what we see of them is just stuff we pick up on.. because we pay attention. I always see myself as a bystander and not a participant in this. But.. that’s just me ofcourse.

So how did we end up here; Tae doing a walk with Jennie. Looking at it from a practical side, it was only one walk.. half an hour tops. If we assume he did agree to it and he wasn’t actually forced all the way, for him that was probably doable, and if he traded that for more freedom to be authentic.. to insert more queerness in his work (which is eventually what people will remember him by), then I think the trade probably looked worth it. Ultimately it wasn’t a fair choice ofcourse, because trading anything for freedom to be yourself is insane.. freedom should always be yours. But I do think the company possibly sold it that way.. and being used to having no freedom for years, maybe to Tae it did seem like a chance. It is ofcourse also possible they made him do this, but it’s not something I’m leaning towards personally.

It is not something Tae would’ve done/come up with himself. Tae didn’t go “yeah, I want to do a papwalk with Jennie for fame and attention”… people are right when they say he didn’t need that. He was not enthusiastic. And I think he was very over it all soon after.

The way I see it.. is that possibly Tae gave away a small part of himself to do something he felt is necessary in a broader way. His new mv is so important! To have such graphic display of queerness is so important! Especially from someone as famous as Tae. Imagine all the young queer fans he has seeing that! Tae knows what kind of influence he has. He has probably missed seeing representation like that himself when he was younger. I think this is what matters to him most and personally I just applaud him for that. Taennie will be nothing but a blimp on our radar in a few years, but his songs and mv’s… I think those will have an actual impact on many lives.

#Tae solo #i think i went all over with this #hope i made sense #not even sure if I responded to everything you said

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honkceasar · 11 months

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Okay big infodump that might not make any sense about The guy who didn’t like musicals, Black Friday, and genloss!!! They’re very similar and I think that’s very cool!!!! I love finding similarities between media I enjoy!!!!!!!!!!

‼️Spoilers for all 3 episodes of generation loss, Black Friday, and The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals!!! Also various descriptions of gore!!!‼️

-So this isn’t really an actual in-depth comparison but both the hatchetfield musicals and genloss are live comedy-horror shows that reuse actors and have an edited version posted on YouTube later and I think that is a really funny coincidence lmao

Okay so the first real thing that stuck out to me is that the comedy to horror balance of genloss is SOOO reminiscent of the hatchetfield musicals!! It’s part of why I adore genloss so much honestly. Starkid already has such a place in my heart, so watching something that gave that same comedy-to-horror balance made me fall in love with it immediately.

- Tgwdlm and Spirit of the Cabin I think are most similar in terms of tone. Both genloss and tgwdlm have that quality of “not scary until you think about it but once you do it’s HORRIFYING” concept and I’m SUCH A SUCKER FOR THAT. Granted, the horror of the first ep of genloss doesn’t hit that hard without the revelations of the second, but I feel like my point still stands. Also they both kind of poke fun at the horror genre in general?? Tgwdlm is supposed to parody the ENTITE horror genre, and I feel like with the amount of references to old horror movies in spirit of the cabin, I think it’s safe to say ranboo was doing something similar. (Also they both involve strange colored goo that replaces the appearance of actual gore?? Like when I realized what the slime was in genloss I couldn’t stop thinking about Charlotte’s blue intestines in Join Us And Die)

- While I don’t think it’s as great of a comparison, ep 2 and 3 of genloss definitely have a tone similar to Black Friday. Black Friday and The Mastermind of the Warehouse both have parts of them that are so absurd you start to wonder how it’s ever going to get that scary and then a bombshell drops out of NOWHERE. Like the feeling I got between What Do You Say and Feast or Famine in BF was the same as Charlie’s silly slime dissection turning to real blood and guts. I’d say towards the end of Black Friday it starts to feel like The Choice, but I don’t know how similar I could really say they are without reaching lol.

Okay here’s where I might just really want these to be more similar than they are BUT there’s also some really fun plot similarities between the hatchetfield musicals and generation loss!

- Mind control!! They both kind of have mind control! With tgwdlm, the weird goop shit can make people do things they normally would NEVER do. (Paul participating in a musical, Charlotte hurting people, Sam literally pointing a gun at his wife’s head and later ripping her insides out.) Wiggly in Black Friday also alters people’s perception in that way, making them more violent and desperate. The comparison of tgwdlm and genloss gets me the most though honestly. I think about how Professor Hidgens sings “you’ve just got to give up your choice” in Let It Out a LOT in terms of genloss ranboo. Nothing gl!ranboo does is HIS choice. He has to comply with the various games showfall makes him play if he wants to live or have any free will at all. Any time he breaks through the control and the filter, he becomes even more of an npc. None of his choices are his own.

- Okay this one’s more funny than serious but all of the hatchetfield shows and genloss have fucking time loop theories that make me insane actually. I keep desperately trying to make What If Tomorrow Comes make sense for genloss cause of the time loop implications but I’m really just grasping at straws lol let me BELIEVE.

- THE PROTAGONISTS DONT WIN (and it makes me so sad every time). Literally everyone in tgwdlm eventually dies/becomes a weird singing zombie. They even lure you into a false sense of hope with Paul and Emma that they managed to escape, just for it to be revealed that Paul has already been transformed and Emma has no hope for survival. In Black Friday, Wiggly remains undefeated, and the implied ending is that they get nuked by Russia due to the misplaced bomb. (tomorrow never comes!!) In generation loss, Sneeg is always so close but never truly reaches freedom, Charlie dies the moment he understands what has happened to him, and ranboo…..well. ⬛️ He even gets that same false sense of hope!! He defeats showfall, shuts it all down!! The exit is right there!!!!! He’s going to escape!!!!!! Just for him to get captured and crucified. The audience doesn’t even get to know if death really freed him. It’s that same kind of cruel ending where the protagonists efforts just,,,, don’t accomplish anything. The hero doesn’t succeed, and suffers for trying at all.

-there’s also like,,, religious imagery in Black Friday and genloss but nothing really to compare there, just neat

Okay silly rant over!!! I just really like genloss and the fact that it feels so similar to previous fixations I’ve had just makes it even more special to me :^)

#ps if you remember my starkid era you’re a real one #generation loss #genloss #gen loss #ranboo #ranboolive #starkid #team starkid #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #black friday #black friday musical #shut tf up jules

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signedkoko · 3 months

Note

hello! i would like a hazbin hotel matchup pls

ima straight woman, my mbti is estp and ima aquarius sun virgo moon and cancer rising if that means anythin to u lmao

im 5'0 (sadly 😭) and i have long wavy black hair w red streaks, i usually straighten it tho. idrk how to describe my style but if i had to id say like the stereotypical y2k grunge girl look (think tara yummy) im also rly into makeup n wear eyeshadow n big ass lashes like everyday

im kinda all over the place personality wise, but most of the time im rly energetic and always making jokes n laughing, i also love partying n going out but i need to have sum time at home too or else i get burnt tf out, im always there for the ppl i care abt even if we aint that close if someone ever comes to me for advice or anythin i always help as much as i can, i also am very very anxious but i usually keep it underwraps unless somethin triggers it and i also have a lottt of trust issues n lowkey be thinkin everyone out to get me sumtimes

i honestly dont have a lot of interests, i rly love music fashion n makeup tho, i take any excuse i can to dress myself up even if i aint goin nowhere, i listen to almost any type of music but my favs are the weeknd, lana del rey, rob zombie, and stunna girl

in a relationship im also pretty all over the place, i love very intensely n i overthink a lot n need a lot of reassurance but i tend to focus on my partners needs a lot more than mine, but if my partner brings it up i wont lie to them n if the overthinking gets rly bad to the point i cant ignore it ill bring it up, im also very clingy n always wanna be w my partner or talkin to them in sum way, im very thoughtful n love spoiling my partner w affection n gifts (usually homemade cuz im broke 💀)

ik this is rly long i tried my best to make it as short as possible mb 😭 but i hope u have a great day n thank u for doing my request :)

You got…Lucifer!

No need to worry about height because you are both the same! If not an inch or two apart, His hat, fortunately, makes it seem like he's the taller of the two of you.

Lucifer is very...fashionable? Man himself, so he really likes seeing the time you put into your outfits. They are a lot less crisp and white than his, but what's more interesting than things he isn't? Your make-up is a lot more mature than his, though, so you have two completely different dressing and makeup areas so as not to mix up his bright colours with your shadowy palettes.

When it comes to people, he has plenty of trust issues. After his wife left him without much explanation, followed by his descent into depression, it takes a lot for him to really be open to people. This made a lot of your relationship-building quite awkward, which in turn made it funny.

He loves your laugh, and he's glad you enjoy jokes because he really has way too many to count! He's got a pun for every letter in the alphabet. Even if it isn't appropriate, if it means cheering you up, he will go to some crazy lengths. He loves it when you laugh at his jokes, and he will definitely get competitive with anyone who tries to compete.

Lucifer really could use your advice, and in turn, he has a lot of wisdom. Some of your longest conversations are those where you both sit in a quiet, dark place after a long day and share feelings, worries, and solutions. He's lived a long life and seen almost everything the world has to offer, and if you ask him for a taste of his knowledge, he is absolutely thrilled that he can be of use to you.

Dedication is what he feels. Lucifer has every love language and accepts any at all in return; he has everything in his grasp, so what you want is all yours. The fact that you are clingy is just a plus, because it assures him that you do actually love him and that he does actually get to enjoy his days with you.

Any homemade gifts you make are met with utter delight. All he does these days is craft rubber ducks, so you are free to venture into his workshop and use what you need to make your items. Lucifer believes what is made by an individual is the most vulnerable gift to give.

Expect a lot of fast, loving emotions and busy days every day! Lucifer will make you feel loved and special, and he will make sure you smile at least once a day in his company.

Author’s Note - Your runner up was Valentino! But if you ask me, Lucifer is a much better bet.

#koko writez #helluva boss matchups #hazbin hotel matchups

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aksbe · 1 year

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Oh you know that scene where ava falls and practically dies in front of bea in 5th ep? Did you notice that the song playing in the backround while beatrice holds ava is literally called:

and oh boy do i have a theory to why its their theme, so pull up spotify, youtube, apple music, your local singing bird choir, whatever and listen to this song on loop if you wanna know what im babbling about.

So why is it their theme?

The song starts off sounding so unsure, like its so new to both of them, its carefull, slow and so soft as if something would break if it was too loud or fast and in a way thats perfect for them. Their start was slow and their love was something new to both of them. Theres even these small notes mixed in the start which could symbolise the small moments those sparks that started it all.

If their relationship would have happened any faster i dont think it would have been the same, because yes, they're made for each other, but it just woudnt have worked out. The slow burn was what was needed for both of their character developments. Without that pining, without that jelousy or those moments and looks i dont think bea would have ever left the ocs later, because it could have easialy be swept under the rug as "just a fling, small temptation, nothing else". But with the slow burn its more like... she feels the love and she feels happy and it dosent bring her any pain untill she lost ava.

And for ava it was another new thing. So far ava has rushed trough new things, new experiences, enjoyed the moments and moved on. Like take JC, she rushed in and trough that relationship so fast, but ultimately we dont ever hear her mention him much after. It was just another new shiny thing she hadnt gotten to experience before. But now, with this build up, her slowing down, she starts to apprechiate the small things she now has, the small important moments with beatrice. Like when they danced in the club and the moment where she just looked at bea, really looked and i bet nothing else mattered for her in that moment.

In the second half of the song theres this build up which is like how their love was so slowly and delicately built moment upon moment and emotions upon emotions and ultimately at the end of the build up with the last high notes its their high point, every small building block being down, all those months of experiences just everything coming togheter and then one of the most purest forms of affection. A simple, beautiful kiss.

And the way the song fades out in the end... Their time being cut short. Their love tossed in the air, left to the wind because ava is gone(for now) and bea is left behind. But the sound lingers for so long that i cant help but believe theres still hope for both of them, and i think they believe the same.

Extra thoughts

Honestly i cant decide which came first in this case, was the piece written for that scene and later made the theme song or was it first their theme song...

See this song fits so well in that scene. Which makes me believe that it was first written for it. Like the fear at start and then bea feeling the pulse and thinking ava is dead, and comforting and asking her not to be dead, and then her being okay and alright and ending on the high point of "they cant beat us bea, not togheter." Which is such an important line!

Maybe they wrote it for that scene and realized how well it symbolised their relationship too.

Cant lie about the fact how sad sounding it is either. Which makes sense for the scene but also maybe a tiny bit for their relationship.

Its always been known how warrior nuns dont live long, the line where camila says "theyre never yours, they never last" perfectly shows the looming saddness and eventual ending to their arc in this season. How their love was, is and will be under the threat because any moment any one of them could die and the other would be left alone.

Of course these are all just my thoughts, and if you have different ones i happily welcome them in the comments, dms or even asks. <3

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taliskermortem · 10 months

Text

okay, rewatch/full watch thoughts - episode 8

under the cut because its long and i dont want to bore you all

don’t talk to me about junseong beelining it straight for seongho’s room as soon as he wakes up and then... holding his hand? on the way out? what was that

seonwoo saying he feels like he has to ‘repay’ yoonghee for always calling him with a date is one of the main reasons i don’t like him tbh, this isn’t about owing people its about finding a connection and if that’s how you’re viewing it then it’s never going to work and you’re just leading people on for no good reason

junseong panicking about his appearance just to ask seongho for a date is adorable... and yoonghee helping him is so cute

hyeongjoonie is so shy and awakward bless him, waiting for seongho to leave and double checking the mission card

not minseong stress smoking trying to figure out what the hell to do, i wonder at what point he realised it wasn’t actually first come first serve like hyeongjin implied it was

hyeongjoon is a bigger person than i could ever be

minseong has some serious guts tbh not sure i could sit down and eat a meal with someone i'm rejecting but he must have seriously made up his mind because there’s not really a way back from this for these two i think but who knows maybe the voicemail he left hyeongjin will soften the blow

but wow is hyeongjin perceptive, like he knew straight away something wasn’t right before minseong even said anything but he was very gracious about it

ugh I feel so bad for jeongwook, no one even considered asking him and he was just bounced around between people without anyone really telling him what was going on – i think he was looking forward to spending some time with hyeongjoon because they do seem to get along really well

junseong and seongho leaving with absolutely zero fuss? living for it

JUNSEONGHO DATE:

HOT PACK BOY I'M DYING

starting the date by insulting his hoodie? totally valid

not both of them trying to match the other with their outfits

seongho calling him out for being obvious

seongho straight up talking with his mouth full like they are so comfortable with each other i cannot handle this

seongho: “when the cat comes, i push it away… then my cat comes to be again” junseong: “so poor, it’s similar to me” i'm dead

both of them being neverous that outside of the house it would be uncomfortable between them and then realising its exactly the same as if they were just lying on the bed and chatting again

junseong saying he wants to leave quickly so he can have seongho’s phone number has me dying

junseong remembering from the first date that seongho likes desert boy has been gone from the very start

(on a side note koreans and cheese makes me nervous okay they do things with cheese that scare me)

exCUSE ME that bossy conversation, let’s talk about it romorrow? whaaaat

god the fact that they are able to talk to each other about how they feel, that seongho isn’t afraid to talk about seonwoo and junseong respects his feelings, that’s wild to me

WAIT FOR THE VOICE MESSAGES SEONGHO YOU WANT HIM DEAD

junseong already being worrying about not being able to give seongho all his attention when they leave the house i cannot believe how gone this boy is

JUNSEONG WHAT ARE THOSE SHOES THOSE ARE THE UGLIEST THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN

did these two do anything other than walk by the sea and eat food? (kind of hoping they did and we get some behind the scenes like we did when jeongwook and hyeongjoon when to the arcade)

walking. with. his arm. around. him.

yeah that image of them silhouetted against sunset? not processing that today

YOONGHEE AND SEONWOO DATE:

okay seonwoo has annoyed me before they even got in the car with his whole ‘wooooo’ thing. just stop.

yoongheeeeeee you deserve so much better im sorry

honestly, at this point i would rather seonwoo was outwardly possessive of seongho, like show some depth to those feelings you claim to have, at least that would come across as genuine this people pleasing act is getting exhausting

not sure how i feel about them going to personal places tbh, i know hyeongjin and jeongwook go to his house later too but yeah, not sure what i think about it

for a second there i thought yoonghee was going to say he had a nut allergy

wow seonwoo way to bring down the mood

god this is awkward, i wasn’t expecting it to be this awkward

god i feel sorry for yoonghee

yeah yoonghee you’re the ace

seonwoo is just incredible insecure isn’t he and like i get it but bro

also how is yoonghee more mature than a guy 12 years his senior

wow just say yes or no… seonwoo proceeds to give no answer at all… and now yoonghee wont give up again this poor kid just let him go i beg

guy just keeps asking why yoonghee is into him, please stop looking for compliments i'm begging you its embarrassing now

“will you really answer it” okay thank god yoonghee can see through his bullshit even just a little

“i want to rely on him” fuck you seonwoo

MINSEONG AND HYEONGJOON DATE:

THE CUDDLING ON THE SOFA HELP

#his man 2 #i gave seonwoo the benefit of the doubt but this episode killed him off for me im done #but junseong and seongho date was incredible and i cant wait for minseong and hyeongjoon

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and-stir-the-stars · 7 months

Note

Oooof, first of all good luck with college and dealing with whatever is happening in your life, it gets better and worse but thats life

Anyways, so about the sisrer location arc in the saffron pawn au, how does Michael get involved in it in the first place?

If im remembering correctly, William is dead by now, so he probably didnt tell mike about it, then again, he might have find out through Williams notes or something like that...

And for michael to accept, i dont think its that hard, specially if he knows elizabeth might be down there...

Does evan know about the possesed animatronic things in this au? Are they even a thing in this particular take? If so, did he tell michael about it?

How does Evan notice Michael is working for afton robotics in the first place? Does mike tell him? Or does he discover it after mike doesnt get home in night 4?

(sorry for rambling it, i actually really like sister location implications in general and this au just intensifies that :>) alsoo take all the time you need to answer!

so when the sister location arc takes place-- when Evan is 17, about three or four years after the Arrest-- William is on death row but is not yet dead. On death row, he sends Mike a letter-- likely an encoded one that could get past inspection by authorities and that only his children would be able to understand-- that tells Michael he can find his sister (who "went missing" when they were kids) if he comes to talk to him. Mike doesn't want to, but he's scared what "finding" Liz means.

Is Liz dead? Did William isolate and manipulate her to a degree even more intense than he did Evan? Is she abandoned somewhere now that Will is in jail?

So he goes to talk to William, in secret, not telling Ev or Jem about it. William honestly partly wants to take in the glory of his would-be greatest accompliment (Mike, who was so close to being "Like William") one more time. William also just wants the control of being able to make Mike come to him even tho Mike clearly doesn't want to-- control is one thing that Will desperately needs and is lacking in this high security prison. And another part of William wants one more last-ditch effort to make Mike be Like Him by showing off the "glory" of all he accomplished, and Will sees the sister location as the best way to do that since 1) Liz is there and he knows Mike can't resist and 2) that location was William's most successful, "grand" creation in terms of luring and killing kids. If anything can make Mike see the "beauty" and efficiency in what he does, it's the SL, right?

Anyway, Will doesn't give Mike specifics. Liz is down there he says, but refuses to answer whether she's okay or if she's dead or what happened to her all those years ago or what's been happening to her in the meantime. Maybe part of Mike thinks he might find his sister, kidnapped and hurt and seriously malnourished and even more thoroughly brainwashed than Evan was, but still alive down there.

as for whether possession is a thing in this universe. It is, but I don't want the au to become "Evan and Mike risk their lives every day and night trying to free souls and right their father's mistakes." The point of the au is to give them some distance from that, and let them grow and heal without the weight of what William did weighing on them, yk? So there is possession in the universe, but it'll definitely be a less common occurrence, with a lot of the famous ghost cast from the series not present in the au. I know I want Charlie/the Puppet and Liz/Baby to be possessed, but as for all the other spirits, I'm not sure which ones, if any, exist as ghosts. There are probably only a handful of ghosts other then Charlie and Liz.

Does Evan know about possession before the SL arc? Yes and no.

He knows his dad would put children's corpses in the suits. And he knows that the suits don't quite act right. I don't think Evan ever consciously makes the connection that it's possession that causes this. It might weigh on his subconscious, especially since there's all these rumors around town about living or otherwise haunted animatronics, but he's never consciously aware of this. He tells himself he's being irrational and childish, likely parroting Mike and William's words about his old (and current, as much as he tries to deny it) fear of animatronics.

Evan DOES find out that one of William’s animatronics killed Liz when Ev gets a glimpse at some of Will's notes that he wasn't supposed to see. Evan is haunted by the information and confronts Will about it. Evan mayhaps even starts to understand that his sister is posessing Circus Baby, but the knowledge-- especially when paired with William's anger and violence toward Evan's reaction, esp if Evan sneaks away to see CB-- is too horrible, and Evan represses it away. So in effect, Evan doesn't know about possession or what happened to his sister. The Sister Location arc starts to tug at these repressed memories, and Evan is increasingly sure that Mike is in danger but can't name WHY Mike would be in danger. Not until he and Jem get to the Sister Location and they see for themselves. So Evan wouldn't have known about/remembered possession to be able to tell Mike about it, not until it was too late.

The sister location is supposed to be in Utah, either under or near the Afton house. I don't know exactly where the brothers are living by the time the SL arc rolls around, but it wouldn't be in Utah. So Mike wouldn't be coming home every night while working at the SL; he'd be returning to a motel or hotel room in this au.

When he gets Will's letter, he asks Jeremy to watch over Evan for a bit and leaves, essentially refusing to say where he's going and refusing to take no for an answer. He comes up with some excuse that neither Ev or Jem really buy for why he's leaving.

Evan or Jem end up finding Will's letter in Mike's room, and they end up having to talk to William, too. I don't think Will would purposely tell them where Mike is, but he would either let it slip or accidentally say something that triggers a repressed memory of Evan’s about Circus Baby's, thus revealing Mike's location

From there, they go to the SL-- both of them tense and terrified, not knowing what they'll find-- and narrowly save Mike from being scooped (and only narrowly saving themselves)

#''Sorry for rambling'' NO i enjoy this:3 #This is good :3 #Thanking thou #saffron pawn au

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melissa-titanium · 1 month

Note

the ask game stuff..001 for N nd doll (giggles

GO FUCK YOURSELF . but thank uou... anime berdly emoji . ill answer...FOR NOW

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: VERY RECENTLY ACTUALLY id say within the last like two weeks. ive always loved doll and always loved n but then i realized like. oh huh i connect alot with n and want to make out with doll . boom. its like borderline selfship at this point its cringe as fuck but let me do whatever i want.

my thoughts: surprisingly i don't have as many thoughts on them as i did but i feel like. because of how much of a foil doll is to uzi i think thats the word it would be like. IDK i feel like for doll it'd help to understand the 'humanity' of the dds. if she witnesses a disassembly drone killing war machine trip over his own tail or bump his head into a doorframe and wince and laugh and talk and hug with gentle arms and do things that she specifically reprogrammed herself NOT to do so she'd have a better chance to kill her worst enemy and avenge her parents... she would short circuit. to actually get to the point of not killing him on sight would take a while or lots of coercing via ... lizzy? or hell maybe even uzi im not sure. unless they had an individual encounter (which, you know, could totally happen! doll out in the wastes and n is on a solo hunt, you know her ass was following them.) that lead to a stalemate, i'm not sure how they'd even meet. HM OK NOW IM THINKING ABOUT THIS. either way tho n has a habit of befriending insane drones (or like... smoochin depending on how you see enzi tho i see them as platonic) and i think he could. Not fix her but he could be there for her bless. and again i think she could help him be not a doormat 💛 also stupid hc i had aboit them i hv always thought doll to have like... a freakishly good memory. which, works perfectly paired with n because like .you know. his memory prahblems . dolls ass can remember the angle of your arm when you were like fucking sitting on a chair on the 13th of april last year or some shit like she PAYS ATTENTION even if she doesn't often share her input... which is also a good thing bcos n is super inclusive always. n voice DOLLLL LOOK WE ARE DOING A THING!!!! :D & shes just like. sighs okay (comes ova 2 him) and eventually.. i think itd get to the point where she can go do shit on her own without being explicitly invited YAY

What makes me happy about them: gotta bring up the Me & My Wife shit again bcos its borderline selfship at this point. i just think its interesting and awesome I REALLY HOPE THEY HAVE AN INTERACTION... tho i doubt it; i think they might fight or smt in ep 7 WHICH HONESTLY I WOULDNT BE SAD ABOUT my goil needs moe screenrtime

What makes me sad about them: doll probably hasnt experienced like. affection in fucking ages & frankly n really hasnt either. i think they'd hold hands and talk about their kill counts. also i just realized they both kind of went thru a period of time tht was little socialization only KILL. doll had school & lizzy, sure, but also living in an apartment with ur parents' & dozens of others' corpses its like. tht fucks w u. but the interesting thing about them is… n and doll don't experience guilt over Killing And Eating People the same way i think. like. just for example v and uzi do (atleast in my perception). like v couldnt cope with the knowledge she had so she fell extra EXTRA hard into her role (atleast using her maid self as an accurate portrayal of her old self) and uzi has never ever experiuenced anything like that before so its fucking terrifying to her. however, with doll and n… they dont percieve it the same way. we understand that both of them are capable of guilt but it takes a very strong connection for them to experience it. ep one; n feels bad for making uzi argue with khan & ruining the card game. does he say a single thing about killing and eating half a dozen workers? No! because it's natural to him. there's nothing out of the ordinary in that situation except for the fact that he was "rude" by interrupting someone & "rude" by causing an argument. yes, he's very sweet and patient and all of the above but he doesn't see killing as really a BAD THING… he sees it as a necessity; as him being useful, higher numbers means hes doing a good job. but, really, that's all he's known. he doesn't remember being a worker. after meeting uzi he's capable of realizing… oh, these are living creatures! i feel a little bad now. but the guilt doesn't come crashing down onto him and leave him utterly devastated at his kill count, it just sits there. it festers. similarly, in my opinion, to how doll reacts to guilt. we see her as this unstoppable force at every point until the end of promening. she knows her goals, she knows what she has to do to get to them, and has shaped herself into the perfect killing machine to do what she needs, removing all forms of guilt from her person to make sure it doesn't get in the way. though, again, it comes bubbling to the surface back from where she buried it so deeply under all her anger when uzi pops her emo little head in. she isnt instantly all "oh my god, what have i done?" but it eats away at her all of this fucking time, she has been killing and hurting her kind, believing she was the only one who could possibly shoulder this burden and deal justice to those who deserved it. but now that she knows she isn't alone… it festers.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: i've seen like three n/doll fics literally EVER but i'd honestly say. major mischaracterization of doll... i feel like doll gets mischaracterized more than n? n's behaviours are easy to understand and read with a surface level understanding because he has more screentime and again ON THE SURFACE looks relatively simple. i think a huge thing in some fanfics that bugs me is that. imitation of speech patterns = perfect characterization WHICH IS NOT TRUE... but also understandably makes it difficult to do with doll because she doesn't talk alot, while N talks a LOT so it leads to a heavy imbalance in mischaracterization. just because the characters would fucking say that, doesnt mean they would Fucking Do That

apparently there is a word limit on tumblr. pleasantly surprised this will be two posts instead

#asks #murder drones #mel roars #jesus christ

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hypnoot · 8 months

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“Its just us, nothing else matters.”

[Small disclaimer, there can be some spelling mistakes. English isnt my first language, if there are any my apologies. Second of all, this story is based on the ship xiao and scaramouche in a modern universe. If you do not agree with this ship I suggest you to not read it or replace their names with someone elses.]

Two boys, Xiao and Scaramouche were standing on the rooftop looking at the people beneath them. “There’s a traffic jam, it’s already so busy there” Xiao pointed. “It’s rush hour,” Scaramouche said, “everyone is going home.” Xiao looked at Scaramouche. “Well we aren’t going yet.”

Just the two of them, sitting on a rooftop smoking cigarettes. It was quiet, but not too quiet. You could still hear the noise from below. Both of them were silent but it wasn’t akward at all. They enjoyed eachothers presence, even if there was nothing left to say. Scaramouche was the first to break the silence. “What would you like to do the most if nothing ever mattered, if no one else cared or maybe if nobody even is there?” he asked. Xiao thought for a bit. “I wish that I could dance again.” Scaramouche laughed. “I would never expect that to come out of your mouth.” Xiao smiled and said: “Its weird to describe it but I would love to dance freely without having to worry about anything else. A moment where nobody cares about what I do.”

He looked down again. “Imagine if all those people wouldn’t exist for a day and it would be just you in the world, what do you think you would do?” Scaramouche thought about his answer. “I think i’d just cry.” Xiao had the worried look in his face again. “Nothing you would want to do?” Scara shook his head. “Nope, not when you aren’t around.” Xiao threw the question back at him “Then… what would you like to do the most if nothing ever mattered?” It didn’t take long for Scaramouche to answer that. “Honestly, I dont mind anything aslong as I can be with you.” “Are you sure?” Xiao said, suprised he would say that. Scaramouche nodded. “You’ve helped me through many tough times, Xiao. I wish to help you when you need it most too. And aslong as we both stay together then… I think we’ll be okay.” There was a sad look in Xiao’s eyes. Scaramouche noticed the look on Xiao’s face. “Nevermind that, let’s change the subject. You said you wanted to dance and not worry about anything else right?” Xiao looked at him. “Yes, I did.” Scaramouche stood up. “So why don’t we dance and not worry about anything right now?” “What? Right here and right now? You’re joking right?” Xiao stammered. “Well does it look like I am?” Scaramouche said. “It’s just us, nothing else matters.”

Xiao smiled and stood up aswell. Scaramouche held out his hand for him. “It is a fine eveni-“ “There’s no need to be so formal, really.” Xiao giggled. “Uh uh uh, stop talking.” Scaramouche said. “Now where was I… ahem! It is a fine evening and I am very pleased to be joined by you. So, may I have this dance?” Xiao smiled and took his hand. “Of course, my dear.”

And so the two of them started dancing the rooftop. They danced without having to worry about anything. It was as if the world around them had stopped. The only thing they focused on was eachother. It went from elegant dances together to improvising new moves, but its okay. Anything that came to mind in that moment got added to the choreography. No move is wrong, aslong as you just live the moment. Afterall, that’s the beauty of dance, isn’t it?

thank you for reading!! i’m still figuring tumblr out so this may be a bit messy :)

#genshin impact #genshin angst #genshin fanfic #xiaoscara #scaraxiao #genshin xiao #wanderer #genshin wanderer #genshin scaramouche #genshin modern au #modern au #xiao x scaramouche #scaramouche x xiao #please let someone see this tumblr istg

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turtlemagnum · 12 days

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some facts about me and restaurants:

i always order my drinks without ice because drink almost always comes out cold anyways and now i get more drink per drink and i dont have to worry about my drink getting watered down because of the ice melting

because of this, i couldn't tell you how many times the server brought me with ice anyways and i had to be like "hey, this has ice. dont-wait no, dont take it back, just dont put ice in the refill ok"

i really dont like wasting food, hence why i'm very adamant about them not just dumping the first drink. the rare times i don't finish something and dont bring it home are like when the burger at that chain steakhouse made me puke. pretty much anything less than "literally made me puke" at least gets brought home so at worst, i can remake it to be more edible

back to drinks: i generally dont use straws. a while back i realized that as far as actual restaurant cups go, straws dont really do anything other than add another thing to throw out and just generally slowing down my sippage. from what i understand this is different for physically disabled people, but given how (as far as i'm aware) i'm not physically disabled, i can just lift the cup just fine. this does not apply to things like fast food cups, like you ever break a straw when using one of those? i swear they're designed to be as inconvenient to drink out of without a straw as possible, the mcdonalds one the last time i tried had this little lip on the brim that felt like it was specifically designed to spill shit when drunk like a normal cup

if it's a place i've been to enough times to know what the menu is right off the top of my head, i usually know exactly what i want before i even sit down. the local bar i'm a regular at, the owner lady who takes my orders when shes there; she knows my order by heart at this point. honestly got a little uncomfortable with how much shit she gave me when i got something else that one time, even if it was joking (i'm pretty sure, anyways)

probably my most controversial opinion: i like my meat well done. crispy, even. the other day i got food with my grandparents and the sausage they gave me tasted about as close to uncooked as you could get while still technically being fully cooked, was wretched. when it comes to burgers and steak, i can definitely tolerate medium or rare stuff, dont get me wrong. i feel like what's probably the Objectively Correct stance to have is that some meats are better suited to some styles of preperation, and that's fine. but honestly when it's done poorly, rare/medium beef tastes like a wet goddamn sock. wretched

so, something about me: despite being whiter than a fair amount of white supremacists, i can handle my spice pretty well. to put this into perspective, my mom's last boyfriend was black (and therefore more used to actually seasoned food), and we got chicken from a local place and i heard him from the other room go "hoo! that's hot!" in a fairly exasperated tone, and while i definitely think the place actually knew how to season their goddamn food it wasn't like, loudly exclaim how spicy it was levels of spice, y'know? at least to me. anyways, this sucks for me because i live in the midwest, where an arguable majority of places don't season for shit, probably because a significant amount of their customer base are like my grandma who eats tacos without seasoning. not fuckin making that up. like it was just cooked ground beef with like, maybe a miniscule amount of salt, put into these nasty ass tortilla bowl things with a texture and taste not too dissimilar to plastic. i remember this one time i asked a place what kinda seasoning they used in their fish, and they just straight up said "none". god i hated that restaurant, it was like if you turned all of the worst qualities of suburbanite wasps into a physical space

my default food i get at most places is definitely a burger. it's at least partially because it's generally hard to fuck up to the point of inedibility, but also because most places around here don't make any fried chicken at all other than tenders and That's Like My Main Thing, Bro. sometimes i get pizza, which is somehow more common than fried chicken but also i fucking hate noodles for the most part so it's pretty much the only edible thing for me to get at italian restaurants. the exception to not liking noodles is in wonton soup, but ever since the chinese place we always went to closed down we haven't been able to find a place that's nearly as good.

finally, back to drinks. my specific drink of choice tends to change over the years but stay pretty consistent over any given period of time. i've been a mtn dew typea gamer for the past few years but i've been liking cherry coke more and more, which was my favorite circa 2016 or so. i definitely feel like i'm being a bit more mixed about it, though. recently i've been drinking a fair bit of water simply due to the fact that the only other shit in the house is this diet root beer that my grandpa always gets because it's on sale and he insists on buying diet shit. and like, it's objectively good tasting, it's still fucking root beer which i've never tasted actually bad root beer. it's just that he buys so much of it for extended periods of time that i'm so sick of it that i'm probably not gonna be able to drink root beer in any significanf quantities for at least a few years. but yeah i definitely feel like i can get behind any kind of pop. my fallback is standard coke because that's something literally everywhere has, and while there's definitely a tangible difference in taste between coke and pepsi i wouldn't say one's better or worse than another. my preference lays in RC cola anyways, which i've literally never seen served in any restaurant but god dammit it's so fucking good, dude

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cryptidanathema · 1 month

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jasper

Why I like them: He turned out to be a much more complicated character than he seemed to be on the surface. It took me until his literal last scene in the game to realize this but damn if that scene didn't paint all of his actions in a new light. Like yeah he's still a bastard but you saw WHY he became the way he did. How easily it all could have been avoided. How he and Hendrik deserved the chance to move past the lies that poisoned their relationship without him having to be a ghost living in his armor. It hurt in a weird way. He became my first true character hyperfixation and honestly opened my mind to engaging with fiction in a whole new way. No one deserves to be painted in the Crying Lucifer Painting pose more than him lol

Why I don’t: I will forever have a chip in my shoulder that he didn't get a redemption arc, sorrynotsorry. Even Party Chat tries to desperately downplay the significance of the armor scene if you check it on the now-memorial balcony. On a lighter note the fact I missed 99.9% of the Piers fandom is entirely his fault because I was too busy hyperfixating on him lol. Also, the classism. The classism is bad, mkay? :P

Favorite line: His melodramatic evil speech in the throne room where he lists love first as something he's given up on is hard to beat. Also his final line in the game being "we will never be apart again'...yeah 🥲😭

Favorite outfit: The evil queen ensemble. It's so...very. Exactly the sort of thing a raging disaster gay that designs his own outfits (according to the character book) that's devoted himself to eeevil would wear.

OTP: He literally only makes sense as a character if you assume he was extremely, painfully gay for Hendrik and sublimating it in a WEIRD way. And Hendrik certainly showed enough signs of feeling the same way (the way he clutches his necklace to his chest after his death in the first timeline...) Mordegon and Heliodor's toxic monarchy just got in the way...

Brotp: Jade was apparently just as close to him as she was to Hendrik but the game NEVER EXPLORES THIS AT ALL. Also I think he and Sylvando could have been absolute terrors together lol. And I've always liked the headcanons where he and Mia bond over their shared pain and rage at their (perceived) abandonment.

Head Canon: Quite a few, so I'll just share one that he wrote the MOST emo poetry as a pining teen, something he will never admit to on pain of death as an adult. I'll also bring up the fact he's successfully taken over the world but still paying for cake as proof he's not as happy as he thought he'd be and eating his feelings about it in Act 2 lol

Unpopular opinion: No one reads deeply enough into him, everyone takes the bullshit he tells himself at face value even when he directly contradicts himself *eyetwitch* I often suspected I was literally the only person right about him lol. Also, the Gay Armor Marriage was incredibly touching, but not enough. He shouldn't have died at all. Also while I've read Jasper/Sylvando fic and enjoyed it before I don't really ship him or Hendrik with Sylv myself which kinda feels like a minority take in this fandom

A wish: At this point I can only hope he gets the Psaro treatment where his death is avoided entirely when the game is rereleased in like 25 years

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I honestly don't want Square to revisit him, they treated him so harshly compared to other villains of the same caliber that pretty much got away with everything so yeah, just leave the angry wet cat man alone guys...

5 words to best describe them: Poor little meow meow supreme 💛

My nickname for them: Bastard son, the Purple Titty Monster (for Unbound obviously)

#Yep still abnormal about him #Ask game #Jasper dqxi #dragon quest xi #dqxi #dragon quest #shipping #HenJasp

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thricedead · 2 months

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oough i read through the summary just now and im just collecting my thoughts... i just feel on one hand terribly sorry for seiya because like through and through he's a person u know? i just feel bad that throughout his life he just... never truly escaped that cycle of abuse. like sure ryuzaki is killed at the end of the story and by his hand or otherwise odile at least sort of grows into someone strong but he dies and is desecrated and he never really escaped a world of exploitation.

i dont think he was just like his mom either and idk like i dont really think the point is how Moral seiya is but he does harm people even though he clearly tried hard to live with some conviction. contrasting the ignorant teenage seiya with the puppet leader he's become who is disgusted by others but also sympathetic to some like him, i feel real ambivalent

just think it's kind of curious the most meaningful relationships (it seems) he has are with a bright girl who can be what he no longer can be and who i think he never keeps too close to his world, a turbulent one with a young man he sees like a son and like jiang bin who is not an idealist but appears trying to live holding onto his art.. idk it's like theres a weird distant in everything

i do kind of like that like honestly we dont know exactly how did seiya's mother end up in this situation. the exact circumstances that heavily complicate each person's personal narrative change but there are things that stay consistent individuals who corrupt, who seek and hold power and the people they bend who lose their ability to be fully autonomous.

anyways it's kind of weird to say cuz junpei wasnt mentioned much but im even more interested in his role now and if he differs at all from those around him.

LABBBB thank you so much for reading and sharing these thoughts I am so happy ♡ you perfectly described the main points in your second to last paragraph - Seiya's predecessors and heirs are definitely all a sort of a predatory chain. I'm glad you didn't glaze over Izumi... it's true that she was saved from a similar fate precisely because Seiya refused her attempts to get closer to him. Izumi tried to extend Seiya a helping, compassionate hand and repay his mercy many times through the years but it seems that refusing her loving influence was the kindest thing Seiya could have done for her. Odile did become a strong person who can love earnestly, but his youth was still stolen away by Seiya - Odile breaks the cycle, but Seiya can only gnaw at it without ever breaking free much like his futile attempts to eat through Ryuzaki's flesh. Seiya is a very tragic character and I personally feel strongly for him (not only because he is my creation) but I truly don't think he could be free even in death. He is simply desperately tethered to the circle of being harmed and harming others in return. I think his fate was decided the moment that he stabbed through Smith's eye with a weapon intended for self harm, the moment when he resigned himself to allow his infection to spread beyond him. Did Smith deserve to die? Certainly. But did Seiya have to be the one to exact revenge? Debatable. I don't think theres as much honor in tearing apart your abuser as many think there is. You'll stuff yourself full of tasteless food, and hunger after the flavor of honey for life. Seiya spent his entire life eating wood shavings and choked on them in the end.

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