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felinedetached · 3 years

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Fandom Ableism in the MCYT Community

[Edited 14 June 2021]

One thing I’ve noticed about the MCYT (Dream SMP, specifically) community on both Tumblr and Twitter is that when informed of things that are ableist, or harmful to ND people, a lot of people ignore the post/tweet, derail it or actively fight against it.

“I’m ND so I can’t be ableist” is a common statement, which is blatantly untrue. Even I’ve used ableist terms and phrases before, without realising they were harmful. So as a neurodivergent person, with autism, BPD, depression/anxiety, dyslexia, psychosis & brain damage*: here’s some common ableist things both CCs and fandom say almost constantly**.

*note that not every neurodivergent person will agree with me on these, but these are commonly ableist things people have previously talked about online, and/or have been discussed between me and other neurodivergent friends. No minority can ever speak for the entire group.

**note that a lot of these are common outside the MCYT community as well, and that some of these are just considered societally acceptable. This isn’t okay, but it explains why a lot of people don’t recognise jokes or comments like these are wrong, and it means that it’s not a direct moral failing of people that they don’t immediately or directly recognise these comments as wrong.

Now, let’s get into the things you might not have realised are potentially ableist:

1. Use of “Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath/Schizo” and other demeaning terms for people with mental illnesses as insults, or to describe characters who are considered villainous. Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath are already terms that people with ASPD dislike using, even not as an insult, but using these terms to describe people or characters who you disagree with or see as villainous only contributes to the villainisation of people with ASPD and other mental illnesses. Using c!Dream as an example: Dream as a character is not confirmed to have any of these mental illnesses. He is, however, commonly labeled as psychotic/psychopathic, incapable of any kind of compassion.

He is also a character that fandom largely insists that nobody is allowed to sympathise with. This is a huge issue, and has hurt a lot of people, especially people with low empathy, or mental illnesses that cause them to relate to some of c!Dream’s actions (e.g. pulling away from all his friends, desperately grasping at straws to gain control of situations etc). Insisting that these characters are characters it’s impossible to sympathise with, all while calling them psychotic/psychopathic/sociopathic, is extremely harmful, and I hope this post draws attention to that.

Here’s another post that talks about that.

2. Use of the term “freak”, in general. As an insult, “freak” has been typically used to insult neurodivergent people, people with visible physical disabilities (ex. “freakshow”, and the term was reportedly created with the intent of insulting people with physical disabilities), or people who display any kind of abnormal/atypical social behaviour/physical aspects — people who are usually ND people who lack a diagnosis or people with physical disabilities. Recent usage has come to mean “people who do things that hurt other people”, but this is harmful as well; using words like “freak” or “weirdo” which mean “socially atypical behaviour” to refer to people who are actually doing things that hurt other people conflates the two, and often has a side effect of hurting disabled people who see it.

3. Calling ND ccs like Technoblade monotone/emotionless. While the term “monotone” isn’t ableist in and of itself, the fact that it’s being used against a neurodivergent man who emotes in a different way to neurotypical people rubs a lot of ND people the wrong way. I’ve partially discussed this here, in a tweet responding to a person who said that c!Technoblade, quote, “has no human capabilities like emotion for example”. This, however, is not something contained to c!Technoblade — one of the most common jokes in this fandom is how rare it is to hear emotion in Technoblade’s voice.

The issue with that is that neurodivergent people almost universally agree that Technoblade emotes perfectly fine, and, in fact, emotes more freely and clearly than a lot of others do. Hence, calling him monotone perpetuates the idea of ND people as emotionless/less able to be hurt/less expressive, which often hurts us. It also contributes to the dehumanisation of ND people — related to how ND symptoms are most often seen in robots or monsters in shows — and is generally extremely harmful, on top of being untrue.

4. Related to point 3: the infantilisation of ND ccs like Tubbo and Dream, usually paired with assigning “caretakers” of their friends, like Tommy and George. This is about the posts that spread like “omg, Tommy helps Tubbo with his dyslexia, that’s so cute” or “omg George is so patient with Dream, I could never sit through that” on videos of Dream vocally stimming because of his ADHD. This is another post that talks about this, but I wanted to talk more about why this is harmful here.

4a) With Tubbo’s dyslexia, from someone with dyslexia, it isn’t harmful to correct his spelling and move on. Personally, I think this is helpful — others will think it’s condescending, because not all ND people are the same — but as the above linked post mentions, this is not what Tubbo’s twitch chat does. This is not what the comments say. It’s all things about how it’s “so cute” that Tubbo can’t spell, how Tommy/Ranboo are “so patient” with correcting him. This is rooted in the need to constantly watch over ND people while acting like we can't live our lives without someone having us under constant vigilance. It feels like savior-complex ableism, like people are trying so hard to not be ableist that they spin back around to hurting us instead. And it feels like we are being treated like children. Like we are lesser than, and need to be monitored/watched over.

4b) Similarly to what people do with Tubbo, the comments on posts about Dream’s vocal stimming are often full of people calling George “patient” for “dealing with it”, or claiming they “wouldn’t be able to handle it”. This is inherently ableist. They’re praising George for basic human decency towards ND people, and claiming in the same breath that they wouldn’t be able to do that themselves. And then there’s these.

These comments infantilise Dream — claiming he “wouldn’t be able to stop/calm down” without George’s help, implying he’d “spiral out of control” or claiming “everyone is now my child”. It’s all related to the infantilisation of ND people, and the belief that without help/a caretaker we cannot take care of ourselves.

5. The way people treat ccs who likely have undiagnosed neurodivergencies, like Wilbur. Wilbur has openly admitted on stream before that his parents considered getting him an autism diagnosis. He also openly admits on stream that he has habits he doesn’t understand why he does, and hyperfixates on things for months at a time and doesn’t know why. Posts like this have gone around Tumblr, in which Wilbur displays blatantly ND traits.

And fandom generally calls him weird for expressing those traits. This video where he talks about eating sand because he likes the texture? That’s an ND trait. This video where he talks about his irrational hatred for anteaters? While mostly a joke, irrational hatred of something when you can’t explain/understand/articulate why is also a common ND trait. He spends 20 minutes during a Philza stream info-dumping about self-sustaining ecosystems (sharing the photo, because I think it’s really cool) and fandom begins calling them “Wilbur’s weird jars”. It’s demeaning to people who infodump, and as a ND person who hyperfixates and infodumps it’s really upsetting to see. It’s also upsetting to see other ND traits being called “weird” or “freaky” & made out to be soley some funny joke for NT people to laugh at us about.

Additionally: It’s strange to me that people think it’s okay to make fun of ND traits just because they know that or perceive that the person they’re making fun of is NT. It’s still making fun of ND traits. It’s still insulting ND people. It’s still ableist as hell. Why is it okay just because the person is NT?

6. Implying that c!Ranboo’s enderwalking is inherently violent. Ranboo has shown us time and time again that the enderwalk state isn’t a violent state. That the enderwalk state isn’t a seperate version of c!Ranboo that does horrific things. Why, then, is it so common to imply that Ranboo would be violent and hurt people why he’s enderwalking?

It comes back to the perception of c!Ranboo as a character with “two halves”, or as a character with DID. Ranboo has made it clear that his character does not have DID, but this headcanon about his character persists, and it persists in a way that is directly harmful to people with DID — and to people who dissociate or sleepwalk. We do not commit horrific acts while we dissociate, while we’re sleepwalking, because the majority of the time we’re just checked out, our body is on autopilot. Insinuating that we do is harmful. Insinuating that Ranboo has “another half” that’s inherently violent or evil is harmful to people with DID. I’m not going to ask you to stop writing these headcanons etc, but please consider the effect you have on people before you do.

7. Related to point 6: the perception of c!Ranboo as “soft” and “cute” and/or perfectly moral because of his canonical anxiety. This is really harmful, and comes once again from the infantilisation of disorders like anxiety and depression. Ranboo has made clear time and time again that his character isn’t moral, and in fact is extremely inconsistent. He’s portrayed his character as inconsistent, as someone who hurts his friends unintentionally and often due to his want to please everyone, and yet he’s constantly seen as “soft/pure/the only moral one” because of his anxiety causing to have repeated and consistent spirals on-screen. These spirals are not healthy. They don’t indicate his “perfect morals” or make him more moral than anyone else on the SMP. Please stop infantilising people with anxiety, it’s really hurtful.

8. Implying that c!Technoblade is inherently a violent person because of his voices. I’ll admit here: my hallucinations are visual. I do not get auditory hallucinations, and I cannot speak for people who do. But many people have spoken out about this, and discussed how talking about Technoblade as an inherently violent character because of his voices is harmful, and a stereotype of people with schizophrenia.

Technoblade’s character is, in and of itself, inherently a stereotype (despite the fact that his chat are more likely to be a supernatural entity than a symptom of a disorder such as schizophrenia) in that the idea of “hearing voices that encourage violence” is a stereotype of people with schizophrenia. As an actual symptom, is a very uncommon one. More common auditory hallucinations for people with schizophrenia or psychosis are, reportedly, whispers or unrelated conversation. One of my friends hears screaming.

But the issue is with the implication that c!Technoblade is “driven to violence” by the voices. Canonically, he has dealt with the “bloodlust” of chat by grinding withers. He’s perfectly capable of being peaceful, even with “voices pushing for violence”, and he’s perfectly capable of being violent without the “voices” influence. It’s the connotations and the history that fandom has in demonising and villainising c!Technoblade for even having the “voices” in the first place, and acting having them makes him inherently violent and unstable. There’s precedent for that already in society, and it’s not okay to perpetuate it.

[Edit: as of 22/05/2021, I do experience auditory hallucinations, and I can confirm that I am not any more violent, and the voices I hear don’t push me to violence. The clearest one just said ‘click’ in my ear.]

9. Jokes about brain damage and the use of “brainrot” as a term. I made a post about how common jokes about brain damage are here, and I would like to reiterate bits of it.

Jokes like these are really really normalized in modern society. I’m sure a lot of you didn’t even register it as wrong, and that isn’t a moral failing! It’s a norm in society, and that means the majority of people arent going to register it as something hurtful, because it’s said so often. But it does still hurt. The idea of using a disability as an insult is really harmful and it feels dehumanizing, like our disability makes us lesser, something that should be laughed at.

“Brainrot” as a term originated in Skyrim, as a disease that literally rotted your brain. However, as a term, it has very similar connotations to “brain damaged” and has been used in similarly joking and insulting ways. It’s something that feels really off to me and other neurodivergent people to see used by neurotypical people. It even sometimes feels uncomfortable when used by neurodivergent people, even if it’s used in positive ways. I know quite a few people who have removed it from their vocab completely because of the connotations, and I have personally done the same. Once again, I am just asking you to please consider your words before you use them.

10. Calling c!Wilbur during his Pogtopia Arc “Vilbur”. Yes, he was a villain. Yes, he hurt people. But c!Wilbur during the Pogtopia Arc only has one major difference from c!Wilbur during the L’Manburg Arc: a visible depiction of mental illness, specifically paranoia and psychosis. Treating him as a seperate person and calling that seperate person “Vilbur” comes across as extremely hurtful, and contributes to the villainisation of mentally ill people. His mental illness does not excuse him from hurting people, but calling c!Wilbur “Vilbur” upsets a lot of us, because wether or not it’s intended, it feels reductive, hurtful, and insulting.

If you got to the end of this post, thank you so much for reading. I hope that this helped you recognise things that you might not have known were ableist, and that you consider what I’ve said here. I also know that I haven’t addressed everything ableist that’s spread through the MCYT fandom community, so if you’re ND and have something you’d like to add, please feel free.

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fuck-customers · 2 years

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A fuck coworkers. I had to cover someone’s opening morning shift and was told by my coworker there would be a new trainee. Cool beans that’s whatever, but the whole time my coworker is showing her things she’s also pointing out minuet things I’m doing (for instance opening a box in the back w a knife instead of scissors, like that matters) and trying to act like “see that? Don’t do that, listen to me - they’re stupid”. I never work with this person, I’m usually on the night/closing shifts and they only ever do days. Bear with me, this has a point, but most of the night workers agree people who only work during the day don’t understand how busy it gets for us, bc they don’t. This place stays open til 3am, the morning workers will usually only stay until abt 3pm and then clock off completely avoiding the late lunch and dinner rush - I’ve had morning shifts get busy but never as much as night ones. Because of this, a lot of the morning workers hate how we operate, going more for fast and efficient then meticulous and “by the book”. So, knowing that, it makes more sense why she’s on my ass about everything. At one point she’s telling the trainee how to cook the burgers - saying to cook the patties once in the oven and then move to the grill. I add that you can put them in the oven twice instead also and then leave them to run through the pizza oven to melt cheese on top ect. I didn’t say this in an “actually that’s wrong” or demeaning way at all, just like an add on.

My coworker turns to me and starts saying in the most condescending way; “I’m sorry who’s the supervisor? Are you the supervisor? Who’s worked here longer? You or me?” And I was fucking shocked. She may have worked there longer, but I’ve still been employed a fair while too and don’t deserve to get talked down to like I’ve only been there a goddamn week - and even if I were new you don’t just talk down to colleagues regardless of position, there’s a thing thing called fucking respect, I’d get it if I was being an asshole but I literally didn’t say anything against her. Not only that, but we were told it was both of our jobs to do the training, not just hers, but she parades around like she’s the queen of the shop and to disregard everything I try to say.

She starts going on this tirade about how doing it like I suggested doesn’t cook the patties all the way through - despite the fact it does and several other workers do the exact same thing and we’ve never once had any complaints. Started bitching about how doing it “half assed” and “quick” wasn’t the way to go and saying stuff like “I know you guys like to just set things down and leave them during the night shift, but that’s not the way we work here”. Like, ex-fucking-scuse you? We don’t ‘leave things sit’ we’re fucking busy, we need to be able to have multiple things cooking at once without having to baby sit one thing at a time, the hands free approach is easier for us bc it lets us get more shit done in the small intervals between customers we have. She took issue with every fucking thing I did because I was in “work fast and efficient mode” cause I’m used to having very little time to do things. During nights on my own I don’t have time to measure out every ingredient to its exact gram, or slowly do prep work so it’s perfect. No one wants there food to be perfect if it’s gonna take an 20 extra fucking minutes to make. I’m glad the bitch only does day work, I’ve only had to work with her one time previously and the whole experience reminded me why I fucking hated it and am glad I do nights and never have to interact with her.

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informationsorter · 3 years

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Let's talk about self diagnosing.

(This is purely a personal opinion piece.)

CW: Descriptions of hypothetical physical injury.

So I'm going to start off by immediately settling your minds - I believe self diagnosis can be both good and bad. I’m not here to judge, gatekeep, or vilify. *************************************************************

A quick overview of the sections: 3 problems/examples. 5 questions/opinions.

*************************************************************

Determining that you have an issue, does not mean that it is the only issue.

Lets start with a hypothetical example where the self diagnosis is obviously correct:

- You've fallen down the stairs. - You can see a bone sticking out of your leg. - You deduce that you have broken your leg.

This is almost certainly accurate, as there is no healthy explanation for the visible evidence.

However, this may not be the whole story.

What we’re really doing in this situation is identifying symptoms and possible/probably causes.

The symptoms are: - Pain. - Visible evidence of a broken bone. - Visible evidence of wounded skin. - Probably experiencing shock - Pale, cold, clammy skin. Shallow, rapid breathing. Anxiety. Rapid heartbeat. Etc.

The probable diagnosis: A broken leg bone.

When you arrive at the hospital, they will do an x-ray. They may discover additional injuries, for instance the bone may be broken in several places, a tendon may have been severed.

Their treatment of your issues relies on the full knowledge that they are able to learn via their tests. If they (somehow) were to treat only your broken bone and the flesh wound, you would likely end up with further health problems as the extra broken bones were not set properly, and the severed tendon would not heal on it's own.

This is a rather ridiculous example of course, but that's why I started with it.

You may believe that you know what the issue is, but if you do not have the right equipment/training, you may not be able to identify the full extent of the issue.

Even if you know what the issue is, you may not be able to determine the full impact of it.

For example: - You notice that whenever you eat citrus, your mouth and tongue start tingling/going numb. There may be also be symptoms such as sweating, feeling faint, swelling of lips/tongue. You conclude that you are allergic to citrus. You act on this by avoiding citrus. That’s all fine and reasonable. However, with this information you only know that you have a reaction to citrus. You don’t know the full extent. Are you mildly allergic? Are you at risk of anaphylactic shock? Sometimes you do not need to know the full extent (in this example you can simply avoid lemon). But sometimes you DO need to learn everything you can about it, in order to live the best life possible.

Especially when the issue is not something easily avoided such as a minor food allergy.

You might group all of your symptoms together, leading to you accidentally obscuring one issue by presenting it as another.

(An example using some of my own symptoms & past trauma experiences.)

You have diagnosed yourself with autism based on the following symptoms:

- Difficulty forcing eye contact with others.

- Inability to read the invisible social cues that neurotypical’s can see/read.

- Discomfort/anxiety in social settings / large groups.

- An extreme feeling of mental shutdown in response to loud noises/music.

These could indeed be symptoms of autism, however they can also be symptoms of other issues in play.

For instance, discomfort or anxiety in social settings could be due to an anxiety disorder.

The loud noises/music may mimic sounds from traumatic events - initiating flashbacks or fight/flight/freeze instincts.

You go to a therapist.

Your therapist listens to your concerns and symptoms, and looks for other explanations for these symptoms.

This is to ensure that the diagnosis they give you will be accurate, and thus the treatment you receive will be the most effective treatment possible for you.

If you did not go to the therapist with this, you may have been able to deal with the autism symptoms fairly well, but the anxiety and PTSD would go untreated. Your problems would not go away, because you weren’t treating ALL of your issues.

When do I believe it is acceptable to self diagnose without seeking professional verification of your self diagnosis?

- When the issue/symptoms do not affect your life in any substantial way;

- When the issue is self evident;

- When there is no indication that there is an unseen element;

- When the issue does not require urgent or extensive treatment.

Eg: Mild allergy to citrus, which can easily be avoided in your daily life.

In this sort of case, I believe it is important to stay aware of the symptoms and immediately seek a professional opinion if there is a change in severity, frequency, or perceived cause, of these symptoms.

Eg: One day you have a drink that had a lemon wedge on the rim, and the symptoms are far stronger, or appear far sooner, than they used to.

Or:

One day you have the same reaction, but you did not consume any citrus.

When do I believe that it is helpful to ask a professional to confirm/refute your self assessment?

Always.

There may be situations where the professional can’t offer any treatment (eg: a mild food allergy, where avoiding it is all that can be done). But if you feel anxiety over the uncertainty of it, and you want a professional assessment, diagnosis, or testing, you are of course entitled to it.

Whether it pinpoints a cause, or rules out a cause, finding out for sure will increase the chances of you receiving appropriate treatment.

Additionally, professional tests and assessments can identify previously unnoticed symptoms and/or issues.

(Such as additional injuries in example 1, or separate disorders in example 3.)

Do I believe that you should tell your health professional that you have self-diagnosed / self-assessed your symptoms?

Yes.

Especially with mental health issues, where your therapist’s assessment of you may be affected erroneously by them noticing that you are holding something back.

They may believe you are uncomfortable with them, or have some trust issues which you may not have.

If you simply tell your therapist that you have recorded your symptoms and searched for answers on your own, the therapist will be able to make a more accurate assessment of you.

It also gives them a good starting point, as they immediately know that the issue is concerning to you, and that you are ready to seek help for it.

Any health professional worth their training should be able to understand that you seeking explanations for your symptoms is natural, and should be willing to look into something that you are concerned about.

Eg: I told my GP (physical health doctor) that I was concerned about a specific lung condition which seemed to fit symptoms that I had been experiencing for over a decade. He listened, he asked further questions, he performed tests for the condition I had brought up, and he performed tests for other possible explanations.

In the end he determined that I did not have that condition, and we went from there.

Why do health professionals dislike self-diagnosis?

The issue with self diagnosis is that a patient can become convinced that they have something that they do not actually have.

This can lead to the patient: - Misinterpreting symptoms - Ignoring symptoms which do not fit their self-diagnosis - Unintentionally manifesting somatic symptoms which fit the self-diagnosis (this refers to a patient believing they have a condition, and their body beginning to show those symptoms. This is not the same as purposefully faking.) - Refusing testing for something other than their self-diagnosed issue - Refusing to accept that there may be a different issue - Refusing to accept that there may be additional issues - Resorting to self-help remedies which may be ineffective or actively dangerous to the patient

They aren’t just being difficult or elitist - they are concerned that your self-diagnosis may impact their ability to accurately diagnose and help you.

This is a particular concern when the health professional doesn’t know you well enough to be able to determine how much your belief will impact your symptoms, or whether you will be open to treatment if they determine a diagnosis which conflicts with your self-diagnosis.

Your health professional has YOUR health and safety in mind.

(If you believe this isn’t true, you should seek a second opinion.)

Should your health professional just accept your self-diagnosis?

It is your therapist’s duty to independently assess your symptoms, and possible causes for those symptoms.

It is not an attack on you, it is not a sign of distrust.

Think of it like scientists - they don’t just say “oh well that guy’s experiment showed these results, so they must be correct.” They go out and duplicate the experiment to check their results against the original results.

Yes, it’s not a perfect metaphor. No two people’s life experiences are the same. No two people’s brains will react identically to the same thing.

But the spirit is the same - in both cases, doing the extra work is to ensure that the stated result is accurate, NOT to discredit or demean the person who originally stated it.

What if you are certain you have a certain issue, and will not be persuaded otherwise?

I urge you to rethink this, and open your mind.

You want to heal from whatever it is that is interfering with your best life.

You want answers.

You want validation that such-and-such issue isn’t a personal failing but a neuro-divergency.

Those are great goals, but the best way to find the truth is to be open to explanations that you may not like.

And the only way to know it’s the truth, is to be honest and objective about yourself.

#CW: Descriptions of hypothetical physical injury.#did #osdd #self diagnosis #therapy #actuallydid #actuallyosdd #actually neurodiverse #actually autistic #actually multiple #long post

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

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Omg thank you so much for your posts about rinharu!! :"")) I was one of those people who were like "why are rinharu fighting again?? Did kyoani purposely seperate them /again/ just for the sake of drama ?? (And so that they have more oppurtunities to showcase other ships??)" I was really irked at first cuz i thought the first part of TFS is finally going to be a movie about rinharu being a powercouple, but! After reading your posts i realised that haru never really moved on from rin leaving, even in S3 the reason why hiyori's words affected him was because he thought he caused rin to leave (and by extension ikuya, but lbr haru wasn't as frustrated with ikuya nearly as much as he was with rin right) so i'm just here to say.. thank you so much for opening my eyes!!! Now i'm really looking forward to the second part!!

Awww no problem <3 tbh I've always said that free is one of those that has so many nuances left bts that it's sometimes confusing for those who aren't as invested I think. Like there's so many important things that are left out and are in additional materials, that some has no idea what's going on at times. Like back in the days when some interpreted s2 in the opposite way bc of that one thing. My point is that not everyone is even watches stuff like recaps for example (where there are in fact new easter eggs and so many important things like Rin's dad death aftermath etc), and even less read novels and checked side stories and dramas.

For example, in books this Haru's issue about him thinking he's cursed and hurts everyone with his swimming is a huge thing, when Asahi "lost his ability to swim" after seeing Haru's free. But in SD it wasn't adressed at all tbh.

And what Haru feels for Rin is such tornado of emotions, that surprised even me with all the descriptions, bc like it's real bad. Like that part I posted from the chapter when Rin leaves is at least understandable, since he leaves. But the way he reacts to him in general even when he just appears in his sight is always described as if someone tortures him for real lol. And he's always like "pls someone save me, I don't know how to deal with this, bc I've never felt such emotions before".

So basically, like yeah, he's as it is has this thing, when he thinks of himself as some bad omen, so he's very sensitive about it, but since everything Rin-related feels x100000000 for him, its just... well, it hurt for a very long time and sadly was just overlooked by a certain someone, so here we are.

I think we all at first believed that bc Rin's so shocked and in disbelief that Haru could even think that it was his fault in some way:

that maybe they talked about it bts or smth like after the relay. But it seems like Rin either forgot or most likely I think he maybe thought that Haru understood without words? I'm just real sad still that Haru didn't get to hear this speech:

I mean, they made it look by the end of s1 that it was about relay, which partially yeah, but for Rin it was really about Haru. You see what he said.. he said that that 1x02 race with Haru alone.. what made him want to swim again. This whole speech was not only about the fact that Haru wasn't at fault that he quit swimming in the first place, but about the fact that Haru is his lucky charm, that makes everything better. AND WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO HEAR THAT. So like for Haru it's to this day like "after I messed him up, Rin was saved with the power of friendship and a relay". But he was saved by Haru really. Bc according to s3 info, it was basically just about Haru being on the relay team. I don't try to demean their friendships or anything, but its just what it is.

And as I've said before in one post it's just fascinating that to this day Rin for example thinks that s1 shananigans were just about him and just his problem:

Haru thought it was about them and their problem:

So like my point here is I also up to the end of s2 thought that maybe Rei or Rin told that to him, bc we seemed to move on to another problems, until in Kizuna we were shown that he still dreams about that scene of Rin leaving. s3 Hiyori just exposed the wound really.

But also once again see what he said there, it's not just about that one time he keeps reliving, aka his first come back, its really just about each time Rin was leaving. Like the very first one already was bad, the second was the worst, bc he thought he hurt him and thought that bc of him he quit swimming, others are just painful bc by then it was already another kind of feeling. I mean, I do think that this first Rin's return to Australia thing needs to be cleared up since it's obviously still haunting him. But again it's just part of this. Haru after the Australian trip and "I've always admired you" and "without you I have nothing to aim for" and after TYM goodbye when Rin told him that he doesn't need a surprise party and that just swimming with Haru before leaving is the greastest surprise for him, he knows already about the way Rin feels about swimming with him... I think the reason why everyone is freaking out here is that bc the way it's executed it's just really about him constantly missing him and "why am I always have to longingly watch you leave, while you seem fine." If he was in a free race, but wasn't on a relay team, he'd get the same reaction. Its just all seasons combined that brought us here. We already in 3x01 without Hiyori knew that he wasn't handling Rin being far away again good. So tbh it's logical even without any explanation really. I mean, Rin does indeed leave and come back as he pleases and does what he wants without holding back or sometimes thinking about consequences. There's no lie here.

It's like since the beginning for Rin it was like "I found the gorgeous guy I adore and I want to swim with, I'll transfer schools just to nag him into swimming with me, it's not like he's gonna care if I leave after that." (he literally in the book didn't think it was a big deal)

For Haru it was like "I lived just fine, but this guy stormed into my life, made me want things I didn't think I'd ever want, got me addicted to him and then dropped me like a hot potato".

Rin's just very passionate about life and things he wants, like Haru for example, but he's really also very unobservant and very clueless at times.

But like just bc he doesn't know about Haru's existential crisis and all the pain he's truly in when he's leaving, doesn't change the fact that he at times didn't even treat him as a simple friend (because they can't be just friends I KNOW), but still things like "you could've called" "well sorry, I guess I'm just not good at it" are probably hurtful, considering the fact that you are good at it with everyone else tho, Rin sweetie. Like thanks for avoiding us the most and holding back and visiting us the last each time, we feel real special. Haru is like the opposite, he doesn't call anyone for example, but he can call Rin in the middle of the night if needed, he always does for Rin smth that's completely out of his comfort zone.

It's like some say "Rin didn't know he wanted him to call" or "he didn't know Haru felt guilty". He did know he wanted him to call and he didn't know Haru felt guilty and stopped swimming competitively when he stopped swimming, but then Rei told him and Natsuya in 3x03 reminded him about this too. Its just the fact that he doesn't want to add 1+1 and thinks "well, there's no way I can affect Haru like that right?", "he can't be that upset about Rin Matsuoka, right?". While facts are he IS literally the only one who affects Haru in such huge way. It's like everyone else can just pass him by and it's nothing, but he walks by and it's a whole "asdfghgfdsa why my body is on fire, its just Rin who's just standing there".

And I'm also buffled by this thing that some people really say stuff like "where did this come from, they were perfectly fine" etc, as if they ever had normal "friendship" relationship. I'm like when did they ever behave themselves okay? In 3x03 Rin is dying to call Haru, but can't do it, while he's constantly texting everyone including Nagisa. First thing he says in the airport when he comes back is "I'm home, Haru" to air, but then goes to hang out with Makoto and Sousuke, desperately looking for an excuse to see the one whom he from the beginning, as it was shown wanted to see the most, but in his opinion can’t without a reason. It's only when Makoto tells him that Haru was upset about Albert he quickly rans off out of there bc "hooray, I have an excuse to see my bae”. Like we know from the airport scene that he wanted to see Haru the most. If they're so as people say were doing great, than how do you exlain all of their s2 and s3 behavior for real? It's like as if in TYM Haru didn't lose his shit from some gossip about persimmons. I mean, they never settled anything really. And Haru is constantly scared of Rin leaving again since forever.

So it's complicated, but yes, we're super excited for p2, bc asdfghjhgfds.

#answered #anonymous #rinharu #harurin #free! the final stroke #free!#rin matsuoka #nanase haruka

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floating-mid-air · 3 years

Text

The Princess of All Saiyans

Masterlist

Hey guys. I ended up taking a bit of a break from this fic, but I'm back now. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter yet. I've been getting a bit impatient as of recent. I just have so many ideas for this story that I can't use yet. I also just wanted to take a second to thank everyone for their support. I never expected anyone to actually read this story, so it means a lot. Anyways on to the chapter.

Chapter 8

Quite some time has passed since your initial imprisonment in this dim cavern. And yes, you're still stuck with the half-breed. Though Zarbon left some time ago. Leaving an alarming number of foot-soldiers behind, who now surround the ruins of what was once a Namekian village. You could effortlessly eliminate those vermin, but you're not willing to take the chance. Not with a Dragon Ball in your possession.

All you can hear are the grating voices of Frieza's men from outside the cave. They're somehow significantly more irritating than the kid. You didn't even think that was possible. So you do the only thing you could think of to block out the obnoxious murmuring. You decide to actually interact with the brat. "Your mother can't be thrilled about your excursion to Namek. Considering she's human and all." Would this be classified as small talk? Or is it too heavy of a topic? You've never been good with this sort of thing.

He looks at you, his eyes wide in disbelief. From the little interaction the two of you have had, Gohan never believed you would be the one to initiate conversation. "Actually, my mom died when I was little." Well, this turned out to be the worst topic you could've possibly chosen. You observe him carefully. He doesn't seem upset, so at least you won't have to deal with him crying. "Y/N. What's having a mom like?"

You're positive that Saiyan mother's behaviors differ from what would be considered normal on Earth. At least, you think, you don't have much experience with motherly figures yourself. "I couldn't tell you, kid. My mother died when I was an infant." Gohan's face falls. He might never know how an average parent should behave. "I'd ask Raditz, though. He can talk your ear off about your grandmother."

"Was she---you know---like you?"

You chuckle, tilting your head backward. "What? You mean evil? No, from what I've heard, she was one of those weak Saiyans. She lacked the basic instinct--- kinda like your moronic father."

A grin spreads across the brat's lips as his eyes meet yours. "You know, you're not so bad after all."

Your expression instantly hardens at his words. "This doesn't mean we're allies now." You direct your attention outside. Those underlings must have gotten careless. You can't even detect a singular soldier that stayed behind. "Come on, it's safe to go."

You push the boulder out of the way, finally exiting the cave. The brat follows, holding the camouflaged orb in hand. "Now, let's solve this little Dragon Ball issue." You cut yourself off, directing your gaze toward Vegeta's power level. He's currently mid-battle with who you believe is Zarbon. Looks like the green-haired narcissist was able to track down your brother after all. You're not worried. Vegeta seems to be inflicting most of the damage.

Something else piques your interest, though, the three other power sources near your brother. One of them is definitely Raditz. Another is unfamiliar to you. It's almost insect-like that must be the Earth woman. And lastly, you believe that bald earthling is there as well. He's much more powerful than he was when you saw him earlier today. How peculiar. "Well, looks like we're heading to the same place after all." You float up into the air. "You coming or not?" He nods, trailing behind you as you both travel to the location of the battle.

You and Gohan strategically maneuver yourselves behind a hill, your eyes intently focused on the battle. You can clearly see Zarbon and Vegeta, as well as Raditz. You move your gaze to the two earthlings, who are both quivering in fear. You can't help but wonder who they're more terrified of, whether it's Zarbon's hideous transformation or your brother.

You turn back to the half-breed, who's about to blow your cover. Before he can fly into the chaos to "save" his friends, you grab onto the back of his shirt. "You don't want to get yourself tangled up with Zarbon. There's no quicker way to get yourself and your friends killed. As long as Zarbon is focused on Vegeta, your friends will be fine." You maintain a tight grip on the purple fabric. You don't trust the brat one bit. "Did that Namekain teach you nothing about self-control?"

He looks up at you, furrowing his brows. "How did you know I trained with Piccolo?"

A breathy sigh escapes your lips. "Well, since Kakarot was dead, I figure someone competent must have trained you. Plus, you're wearing the same attire as that Namekian. It doesn't take a brainiac to figure it out." You switch your attention back to the battlefield, letting go of your grip on Gohan.

While Vegeta is distracted with Zarbon, you can feel energy rapidly approaching their vicinity. Your brother has his back turned, so it must be a sneak attack on him. Before whatever it is can even strike, you teleport in front of Vegeta, grasping onto the foot soldier's fist, freezing the creature in place. "Too slow." A devilish smirk appears on your features.

"Y/N. I was wondering when you'd finally make an appearance." It seems this transformation doesn't just affect Zarbon's characteristics, but it distorts his voice as well.

"Zarbon. I see you've let yourself go." Taking shots at his looks should be the best way to throw Zarbon off his game.

You let go of the orange alien, pushing him backward. His eyes narrow at you, clenching his right hand, checking for any lasting damage. "How dare you speak to Zarbon in such a manner! He's your superior in every way."

"Shh." You bring a finger up to your lips. "The grown-ups are talking." As fun as patronizing this insect is, you know this encounter will have to escalate sooner rather than later.

Vegeta turns to you, a faint smirk ghosting his lips. "I hope your intentions were not to involve yourself in my battle."

"I know better than to get involved when you're out for blood, Vegeta." You chuckle. "I'll make do with this half-wit. I just have to figure out a way to draw out the battle." You rub your chin, contemplating the best way to decrease your efficiency. "I got it." You wrap your dominant hand behind your back. "I'll fight this weakling one-handed."

"You cocky Saiyan, bitch." The creature snarls, stepping closer to you. "I don't think I've ever seen you fight one of your own battles. You know what I think. You're only feared because of Vegeta." Everyone around you grows silent, well except, for Raditz. His laughter echoes around the rocky terrain. The Saiyan finds this humorous, not because of the alien's words, but because he knows the orange creature has just taken his last breath.

Your aloof gaze remains locked on the ugly creature, your head slightly tilted. "You know what. I was being quite generous before." You move your other arm behind your back, clasping your hands together. "I don't even need one."

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see the half-breed, who has now joined his friends. He's jumping up and down as Krillin stares at him in bewilderment. "I'm excited. We're finally going to get to see her fight."

"Gohan." Krillin's timid voice invades your ears. "I think you're starting to act a bit too much like your dad."

It becomes clear to you that your opponent won't make the first move, so you'll have to take charge of the situation. You turn to Vegeta, who has Zarbon in a headlock. "If you don't mind Vegeta. I'd like to go first."

He nods, chuckling to himself. "Oh, be my guest. The floor is all yours."

You descend to the ground, centering yourself on the terrain. "Alright, let's get going. I don't have all day. So show me the best you got." The alien shoots toward you, swinging his fists blindly. He doesn't even seem to have a proper strategy. Is this really the best the Frieza Force has to offer? A being who lacks basic combat abilities.

You dodge every single potential blow, speeding back and forth at a slow pace. An earthling could even evade these strikes. This is pitiful. It's clear that whoever's responsible for training these buffoons has been cutting corners.

"Stop dodging!" The creature shrieks in pure frustration.

A wolfish grin appears on your face. It's fitting you're the predator while he's the prey. "Well, if you insist." At light speed, you swing your leg upwards, kicking his chin. Blood rushes from the corners of his lips as the orange creature spits out multiple stray teeth. You continue your merciless assault, alternating between striking his face and torso. "Don't be mistaken. I don't fight because a woman of my status doesn't have to handle such demeaning tasks, like exterminating pathetic life forms. Beings similar to yourself, but don't get me wrong. I'm more than happy to make an example out of you."

You fling up into the air. Your boot effortlessly connects with his face. Sending the alien hurdling backward. As soon as he regains balance, you teleport behind him. You may not be able to use your hands to form a blast, but you think you'll be able to direct the energy to your lower body. "I like to call this the Dust Charge." Heavy winds form around the battlefield, dragging dirt particles into the air supply, causing numerous dust clouds to emerge. The Dust Charge is not an attack perse. It's more of a red herring, a simple distraction tactic for your actual move.

"What's this supposed to do?" He chuckles mockingly. "Take my eyes out?" You don't understand why everyone always underestimates you. It's frustrating to not be taken seriously by your opponent. Especially when you outrank them in all aspects of life.

You've navigated yourself into one of the many dust clouds. This should be effective in concealing your next move. You focus all of your energy on your lower body, causing a pink orb to appear right before your eyes. It lays motionless on the ground, almost resembling a soccer ball. It takes a few moments, but the pink ball of energy finally begins to swell. Now the orb compares in size to your pod.

Over the years, you've trained your eyesight to be unaffected by distraction tactics. So you can simply pinpoint the location of the alien. Once you do, you kick the orb in his direction. As soon as the creature absorbs the sphere, the dust clouds clear. Revealing your victory to the audience. You watch him crumble to the ground, screaming in agony. There is no visible damage to his body. Your nameless move is more of an internal attack. These sorts of attacks are much more sadistic in nature. Since they target your internal organs, resulting in complete organ failure.

You stride over to him, placing your boot on his head. Your aloof nature returns as you stomp on his head, crushing his skull. "Time to take out the trash." You unhook your hands, pointing them toward the limp body. You create a blast, vaporizing the corpse, successfully eliminating all remnants of the alien's existence.

"Alright. You've had your fun. Now it's time for the main event." There's no need to anger Vegeta. So you decide to comply. You fly over to the sidelines, landing next to Raditz.

The Earth woman turns to you, her eyes wide in terror. "Y- You squashed him."

You turn to meet her gaze. "That is how you kill insects, isn't it?"

"He was so weak. You didn't have to kill him!" Krillin interjects himself into your conversation.

"What the hell is wrong with your species?" You bring your hands to your temples, massaging them gently. "Let me put this in simple terms. If I let him live, he would've killed you, pathetic earthlings. Is that what you would've preferred? Because I can finish the job if you'd like."

The pair rapidly shakes their heads. "No. No. we're all good." Their voices shake, speaking simultaneously. Finally, you're getting the recognition you deserve. At least the earthlings take you seriously. That's better than nothing.

Raditz chuckles, shaking his head. "He challenged her pride. That's a death sentence itself." You don't think they have the brain capacity to understand the nature of a Saiyan. Being allies with the defect probably doesn't help either.

You look up at Raditz. "Is this what you've been dealing with?"

A breathy chuckle escaped his lips. "Oh, you have no idea."

You turn back to the fight, and it isn't that interesting. It's basically just Vegeta manhandling Zarbon. Your brother must have grown significantly stronger after getting the crap beat out of him so many times.

You suppress your laughter when Zarbon begs your brother for mercy. You're pretty sure that word no longer exists in Vegeta's vocabulary. Zarbon is one of the last beings in the entire universe, who your brother would even grant an inkling of sympathy. Similar to the other members of the Frieza Force, Zarbon offers to turn against his lord. It's apparent that none of Frieza's men are truly loyal to him. Bargaining with treason in return for you to spare their lives. Cui, Dedoria, and now Zarbon have all exhibited this same cowardly behavior. This is one of the many areas where you differ from those cowards. You'd never turn against Vegeta, even if it costs you your life.

Vegeta goes off on a tangent. The years of verbal abuse must have gotten to him too. "You want mercy? Oh, I'll show you mercy, all right." It's become transparent that Vegeta is going to show that narcissist the exact opposite of mercy. With a singular blast, your brother kills him. You watch Zarbon's corpse fling into the air, landing into the lake.

"Y-You call that mercy?" Krillin stutters. Well, apparently, your brother's intentions were not clear, to the earthlings after all. They really need to study the significance of tone.

"I'm disappointed." You huff. "I was expecting a bigger bang. Frankly, I would've been much crueler than that, Vegeta." You slowly stride over to Krillin. His comment from before did not sit well with you. So you intend to show him just how ruthless you can be. He also scares easily, so that's a bonus. He gulps nervously. As you tilt your head to become eye level with the human. "Firstly, I'd mutilate his face to destroy his vanity. Then I'd rip out his eyeballs and feed them to him. And then I'd kill Zarbon."

Vegeta chuckles. He knows how much you like intimidation. "Well, you have a much more sadistic imagination than I do, Y/N." He turns to Raditz, who's holding the one-star ball. "Now, a deal's a deal. Hand over your Dragon Ball." Clever, sparing their worthless lives for a possession of value. You wouldn't expect anything less from Vegeta.

Raditz looks from the humans to the half-breed. Before he can even calculate a plan, you sweep his legs out from under him. This successfully knocks the giant off balance, allowing you to catch the one-star orb. "Pleasure doing business with you."

You toss the ball to Vegeta. He looks down at the orb, smirking. "Now that we have all seven, immortality will be ours." You know for a fact that you only possess six Dragon Balls. Gohan has the four-star ball, and you don't care to let Vegeta know. Immortality isn't your desire. You want to die one day, at least hell, has your kind. An eternal life sounds more like a punishment than anything else.

Vegeta takes off first, and you shortly after him. It takes a while, but the two of you finally land in the ruins of that Namekian village. You're getting sick of constantly having to return to this horrid place. This better be the last time.

"So you didn't retrieve the Dragon Ball like I asked?"

"I couldn't find it." You flash him the best innocent smile that you can manage.

"Clearly, you didn't search hard enough." He sighs, running a hand through his spiky hair. "You know what they say. If you want something done right, you do it yourself." And with that, he jumps into the lake.

He's going to be furious when he figures out the Dragon Ball is gone. Vegeta hasn't wanted anything this much in a long time. This is where the two of you differ. As long as Frieza doesn't have the orbs, you're content. You don't care if the earthlings get them. And you care even less about what they desire to wish for. If they want to bring their loser friends back, so be it. You'll just have to kill them again. It shouldn't be difficult at all.

The splashes on the surface of the water become more erratic. Vegeta must be growing frustrated. He springs up from the water, shooting into the air. "That damn brat!" He takes off in the direction of the earthling's hideout. Looks like Vegeta figured out the truth all on his own, only you're not entirely sure how.

You chase after him, heading to the cave. But it's too late. They're already long gone. Vegeta murmurs various curse words under his breath, desperately trying to keep his temper in check. "Well, new plan. Y/N, you're going to babysit the Dragon Balls. While I have a play date to get to." He shoots back up into the air. "No one makes a mockery of me and gets to live to tell about it!"

"Wait! Vegeta!" You shout. "I don't know where you put them."

"That sounds like a you problem, little sister!" Vegeta takes off, escaping your view.

He's such an asshole. "This is going to take forever." You wine before taking off in your own pursuit. Only you're searching for several inanimate objects that lack a power level. If you wanna find those Dragon Balls, you'll have to think like Vegeta. So if you were Vegeta, you'd want to leave them somewhere secure, but where he'd be able to remember their location. With the land formations on Namek, the only place that makes sense is a cave system.

It was a shot in the dark, one that eventually paid off. You finally found those damn orbs. You sit down on one of the Dragon Balls. These orbs are much larger than the set on Earth. You sigh, placing your hands on the sides of your face. The reality of your situation has just set in. You could've very well run into Freiza, and that would've been game over for you. You could've died. You'll get back at Vegeta. Maybe you'll scare him half to death, make him think you did, in fact, die. The look on his face would be priceless.

Now you're bored. At times like this, you miss having Raditz to banter with or even having Nappa to mock. You have been wondering something for a while. Frieza must be running low on henchmen by now. Dodoria and Zarbon are dead, and you and Vegeta have taken out a fair share of his soldiers. You're also sure the earthlings have taken out a couple of those imbeciles as well. So isn't this about the time where Frieza will call for enforcements if he hasn't already?

You can sense a mass cluster of energy approaching Namek. The Ginyu Force, that's the only possible explanation. How didn't you come to this conclusion sooner? This is bad. This is really bad. From a glance, they appear to be a bunch of idiots, but they are far from that. Well, for the most part. Recoome may have suffered from some sort of brain damage.

This situation is far from ideal. You're all alone on Namek, and now the Ginyu force is running loose. Hopefully, they'll split up. If you encounter Jace, you'll probably be able to sweet-talk your way out, but if it's any of the other four, you're screwed.

You stop mid-panic. The perfect opportunity has just arisen. One that will make Vegeta eat his words, the perfect vengeance plan. He's probably going mad now. Filled with regret for leaving you alone now that the Ginyu Force is here. Oh, this will be good. You fly up, making a little burrow in a nearby hill. Hiding in the structure. This will give that dimwit brother of yours a good scare.

Meanwhile, with Bulma and Raditz:

Krillin and Gohan left a while ago, leaving the explosive pair alone in the ravine. This was poor thinking on Krillin's part. Raditz and Bulma had managed to avoid interaction while Bulma spruced up the hideout, making it more comfortable according to Earth standards. Instead of sitting at the table with Bulma, the Saiyan has placed himself on the stone floor with the Dragon Ball placed strategically beside him.

Bulma lets out an exaggerated sigh. It's taken all of Raiditz's energy not to kill that woman. He's honestly surprised with the extent of his own self-control. "I still can't believe Gohan and Krillin. They left me all alone. On an alien planet. With you." Is this how all Earth women behave? Do they just whine and complain all day? Raditz hopes that isn't the case. Maybe Bulma is just an irregularity.

Raditz shuts his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Do you ever stop complaining?"

"I'm a delicate flower Raditz. While you're a disgusting pig. I have the right to complain." Raditz snickers. If anyone's a disgusting pig, it's Bulma. She has the worst cleanliness he's ever seen. She never picks up after herself and then displaces her mess on others. She wouldn't last a day with Vegeta. One look at her uncleanly living quarters would cause the prince to throw a fit.

"A delicate flower that wanted to bang Zarbon."

"How was I supposed to know he'd turn all hideous? He was cute before."

Raditz cringes. Zarbon was a repulsive creature, no matter what form he possessed. "You must really love that boyfriend of yours, huh?" Yamcha may be dead, but from what Raditz has gathered, they're planning on reviving him. Unless do earthlings not mate for life as Saiyans do? That's a possibility Raditz hasn't considered yet.

Bulma's expression sours, her eyes narrowing at the taller man. "Yamcha was a stupid jerk who got himself killed." She crosses her arms. "I'm still mad at him."

Raditz furrows his brows, his mouth hung agape. "You know what. Remember how I said we did you a favor after we killed Yamcha. I've changed my mind now."

"Wow. Have you finally come to your senses?"

Raditz nods, a faint smirk ghosting his lips. "Oh, yes. Rather than you, I think we did Yamcha a massive favor."

Bulma proceeds to chew him out, which of course, the Saiyan ignores, rolling his eyes at the woman. Raditz holds up the orb, staring at it intently. If he were to bludgeon the Earth woman with this. How angry would the others be? It's a tough call for the Saiyan.

"Are you even listening to me?" Bulma shrieks as Raditz bangs his head against the rock. She's about to shout at him again, but three figures land in the ravine. Two of the creatures are Gohan and Krillin, while the third is unfamiliar.

Raditz stands up, looking up at the third silhouette. "Vegeta? What the hell are you doing here?"

"We need that Dragon Ball." Raditz picks up on Krillin's use of we. What could possibly be so dire to cause them to work together? Maybe hell has frozen over. Because that's the only explanation that Raditz could fathom.

"For what?"

"We don't have time for this, you imbecile!" Vegeta huffs. "The Ginyu Force is here!"

The larger Saiyan's eyes widen as he rabidly looks around. "Where's Y/N?"

"I left---" Vegeta's face drops, a twinkle of panic in his eyes. That's something Raditz has never seen from him in over twenty years. "God damn it!" Vegeta takes off, Raditz following him in pursuit.

Krillin sighs, picking up the Dragon Ball. "Thanks, Bulma. Let's go, Gohan." Gohan nods before they both take off.

"Hey! Wait!" Bulma shouts. "You guys can't just leave me here! Again!"

What is Y/N's true fate? Will Vegeta and the others find her in time? Or will it be too late? And where the hell is Goku? All will be revealed in the next chapter of The Princess of all Saiyans!

#goku #goku x reader #saiyan reader #vegeta #vegeta's sister #dbz fanfiction #dbz x reader #dragon ball x reader #dragon ball z #son goku x reader

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thed4rkhand · 3 years

Note

Hi! I'm excited for your posts :3 It would be really interesting to read your analysis on Jimin's chart!

So today we’re doing Jimin’s chart and my analysis of it. Let me make it clear right off the bat, that since I’m not a professional astrologer, some things may not match up, further since we’re not super sure of his birth time, it’ll definitely affect the reading. What I can be sure of is that I’ll do my best and I’m completely open to constructive criticism from you all!

Now lets get on with some basic stuff, for those who have not yet read the post with Namjoon’s moon analysis, I’ll again reiterate some principles of Vedic astrology! In the scenario that you’re still confused with all this jargon, feel free to reach out and I’ll be more than happy to help you out.

Starting out, we have to note that while western astrology is usually more advisory in nature, Vedic astrology’s main purpose is to predict. Also, we usually go a sign back from western astrology in Vedic astrology, so according to that for example, if you’re a libra rising, you become a virgo rising in Vedic astrology and so on and so forth. All planets will also shift back a sign, so a Capricorn Mercury will become a Sagittarius Mercury.

Now let’s be aware that the chart may be a bit different, but given the main d1 (Lagna) chart remains the same for about 2 hours, let’s focus on that and the moon chart (rashi chart) for this reading. We can also just look at d9 for strength but not house placements as that can be time sensitive. So, we can take a two hour margin of time discrepancy and still predict accurately.

For this reading, we have taken 13th October 1995 as the day and 10:34pm as the time of birth, with the location set to Busan.

OTHER THAN THIS, LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO DO A BIRTH TIME RECTIFICATION FOR JIMIN LATER ON SO WE CAN GET MORE ACCURATE PREDICTIONS.

Since this is a general chart analysis, we shall be covering topics briefly and discussing the moon, ascendant and sun. For an in depth reading, do pick a smaller and focussed topic as we can honestly keep going on and on about a chart.

THIS READING WILL BE DONE IN 4 PARTS, FOLLOWING THE ASCENDANT, MOON, SUN AND MISCELLANEOUS.

On with the actual reading now-

Right off the bat, we can see Jimin is born into Gemini, with his ascendant at 16’49’, within the Nakshatra of Arda, within the fourth quadrant or pada. His lagna lord, Mercury is retrograde in the 4th house conjunct with sun, in the sign of virgo, where Mercury is naturally exalted as well as Mercury being in its Mooltrikon sign here. Secondly, the lord of Ardra, rahu, is sitting in the 5th house conduct Venus. Further the first house receives aspects from both rahu(north node) and mars. We can keep going but we’ve got a whole chart to cover here.

Now onto explaining what all this means. Being born into gemini makes the natives jovial and social by nature, all while having a very sharp mind. The phrase that comes to mind is ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothes’, not because they’re inherently bad or something, but because people don’t give them enough credit for their genius calculating mind. Throwing the Nakshatra of Ardra into this, I can definitely see the dots connecting slowly. Ardra literally means ‘the fortunate one’. An apparent destructive Nakshatra, given its ruled by the deity Rudra, it has several different aspects to it.

People born in ardra tend to have very extreme emotions and may be prone to anger issues and a habit of destructing anything they deem imperfect. People in this Nakshatra also make great actors due to their ability to mimic others well, a quality that makes them well liked and sociable, often giving them a dual persona of seriousness and goofiness. Such people are extremely affectionate and motherly, And men may display an effeminate quality to them, given that the Nakshatra is female in nature. Further, since rudra is also representative of the half man half woman god, (Ardhnarishwar), such people may have a conflict with wanting to show more and more stereotypically masculine sides to them and thus may engage in extreme dieting or bodybuilding to achieve this.

On a professional front, such people are extremely hardworking and rule abiding, sometimes to the extent of being self destructive. They have a humorous disposition and often hide behind that persona. They also keep a tight circle of friends and often check up on them. Compassionate and coolheaded, such people are often the centre of attention. The tend to multitask very often and find it hard to remain still and let go. lastly, such people and their career usually peaks after the age of 32 (aaahhh whaaat jimin).

lastly, his ascendant is in the last quadrant, which is ruled by Pisces and thus Jupiter. Being in an enemy sign here, people can have body image issues (1st house is our body and mind) and mental destress regarding their capabilities. Such people also love to engage in drinking and are very philanthropic in nature, loving to elevate the unfortunate people in society.

His lagna lord is retrogade in 4th house in virgo, conjunct sun and without aspects. The former indicates that a personal has a constant up and down tussle with their self image, and people often have demeaned them for either their looks or personality. This causes a person to be extremely insecure in themselves, and thus may require constant coddling and words of affirmations. Going four houses away, we can see that his mother is someone who truly shaped him and his persona. Their childhood upbringing plays a big role in them. Their childhood could have been tumultuous, with constant disagreements and obstacles.

They may have problems expressing their emotions or penning down their words, or they might be a very cautious person in terms of what they speak and to whom they speak. Mercury is also exalted here, giving it power, so we see that eventually the native breaks forth of this dilemma in life. They may have a career related to communication (see mercury aspecting 10th house), and they will have a successful career at that. The person may own a lot of real estate with this position. Since its mercury in virgo, such a person may be brilliant with handling technology and may even pursue IT based careers due to the ease of handling gadgets.

Given that here, sun in conjunct, right off the bat, the person must resemble their father a lot in terms of looks. They also have a regal appearance that demands attention. They may be well spoken. Their father was dominating and shaped them into who they are. Since mercury and sun aren’t friends, we can also see that such a person may have anger issues and problems controlling their tongue. This conjunction also forms the renowned Budh-Aditya Yoga, a conjunction that shows extreme smartness in a person. While this doesn’t necessarily have to be academic, such people can be very sharp and grasp things easily, they may even have knowledge on a wide variety of subjects and be extremely curious to learn more. Due to this, a person also become a great communicator, and people enjoy listening to them talk as they hold people’s attention with their unique way of speaking. They can be a great salesperson or politician with such a placement. Studies should come easy, as would reading anything from novels to detailed instructions. There may be a talent for writing stories and one may be good at interpreting symbols, font design or calligraphy.

Now going to rahu and Venus in 5th. This is a great placement honestly, given that Venus, the lord of love, beauty and creativity is sitting in the house of children, past karma, creativity and primary education, in the sign of libra. This would indicate that a native with their Nakshatra lord here would be extremely creative (rahu blows qualities out of proportion), kind of childlike innocence that would attract people who would want to literally ‘nurture’ or mother them, or inversely they could themselves be very motherly to their friends, such people also have good education till primary level (undergraduate level) and also carry a lot of good karma from their past life, which results in gains now.

Further the sign of Libra signifies that their beauty or creativity would be very magnetic, they exude charm and regalness, they tend to attract people like moths and have a very star crossed lovers kind of personality. Given Venus is the lord of 12th and 5th house itself, sitting in its mooltrikon sign of libra, it is extremely powerful here. Such a person may have alien or distinguished ideas, explore new arenas, write about devotion and deep philosophical experiences. They may also be very fond of children and children’s literature.

Given the 12th house is also the house of paranormal and extraterrestrial beings, such a person may be very in tune with their own selves and may regularly take part in activities of the occult like tarot, astrology, magick or occult like practices, or at least they have the natural capacity to do so. They may also be great psychologists with this placement and read people’s minds, with acute sixth sense and empathetic powers. Such a placement may also give clairvoyant abilities to a person. They may have troubles with their left eye, liver and digestive track also.

Rahu in libra makes someone overtly sensual and starry eyed about the world, seeing stuff through rose tinted glasses. Here in the 5th house, this may give an unrealistic image of love and grandeur, cause obsession like love, unrealistic image of self to the world. They may be also seen as a sex symbol of sorts often time, but also have a very cute site to them, as libra is a dual sign itself. Given its the ruler of 9th house here, where retrograde Saturn sits, the person may have many failures in their love life or have a very unsuccessful love life till much older, when Saturn matures at 36 years. further, aqueous gives an affinity for wanting to stand out, attracting people and being attracted to people with unconventional personalities (vmin stans) and of course, being excited about all things foreign. They may have an affinity for writing about unusual and unrelated scenarios or daydreaming about them. They might want to provide comfort to unusual people and nurture them alot, while also wanting to stand out and become unconventional themselves, they hate being blended into the crowd with this position.

As for the mars and rahu aspect to the lagna, it would largely affect the physical and mental state here. Rahu has a tendency to give long, elongated and cat like eyes to people, or very exaggerated features in general, as rahu represents the extremes. These people have unusual but magnetic (rahu is temptation) looks, which only get better and better with age (rahu is the oldest after Saturn). Mars over here gives a ruddy complexion and untidy and unruly hair. It gives a stout athletic body, which is made extremely lean due to his gemini rising. These people have exaggerated Adam’s apple and extremely masculine features (look at his face, at points he looks like he’s a statue with those sharp chiseled features). Mars may give a very sexual look to a person too, making them look more hot than cute usually. The extremely emotive eyes of his are all thanks to ardra Nakshatra, which usually promises that (the eye smile?).

Such people may have very violent thoughts, due to mars. They might also be extremely passionate and would do anything to reach their goal. Rahu here brings a tendency to fall for addictions, such as alcohol and drugs.

So this is part 1 of jimin’s chart, I’ll analyze his sun, moon, miscelnous (house placements, atmakarka, amatyakarka, darakarka, divisional charts and a lot more in that)

Do let me know if you enjoyed reading this and if you have any feedbacks.

#bts tarot #bts astrology #bts jimin #jimin #parkjimin #bts jin #seokjin #jin #rm #kim namjoon #namjoon #bts suga #suga #yoongi #hoseok #jhope #v #taehyung #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #astrology

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cozy-corner-system · 3 years

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Saw a post today making fun of teenagers who confide in their therapists that they think they have DID and that their trauma is being bullied at school.

And here’s the thing,

That bullying at school could have been happening for years. It could have been happening since they were between the ages of 6-9. Bullying is traumatizing. It is enough trauma to cause a person to become dissociative, DID, OSDD, USDD, what have you. Being constantly bullied, no matter it’s physical, mental, spiritual or emotional, is enough trauma to cause a person - a child - to split and fail to integrate. It’s traumatic to be bullied by the people you’re surrounded by for multiple hours, five days a week. We’re an OSDD-1b System, and a lot of our trauma comes from being bullied throughout the body’s entire goddamn school career. It’s awful, it’s alienating, it has sent us into so many suicidal idealization spirals it’s not even funny.

If they can name their alters, or “know what they look like”; sure, they might not have DID specifically, but they could still have OSDD or USDD. These labels are lesser known, so if a teenager says they have DID but still know their alters, chances are that they just haven’t heard of the other disorders in the System community.

And that isn’t something that should be laughed at, or gatekept - it should be something that sparks conversation and education. Let the teens explore, let them figure out, and, if they are open to it, educate them on the other labels.

Don’t fucking point at a literal child/minor - especially if you’re a whole ass fucking adult - who is trying to find an explanation for their mental health issues and make them into a joke. That is literally so fucking ableist and demeaning that it isn’t even something to be scoffed at. Be the grown up you’re meant to be and don’t. Do. This. Shit.

You aren’t cool, you aren’t smart, and you aren’t fucking funny at all. Stop gatekeeping disorders from kids and let them figure it out. As long as they aren’t hurting anyone, including themself, then what’s the big fucking deal if a 16 year old says they have DID because they think they fit even most of the criteria? It could mean they’re more likely to seek out a therapist, counseling, or just a mental health community to support them.

You don’t know the life stories of random teenagers online. Trauma affects us all differently. Stop fucking fake-claiming all because you think your experience is universal. Maybe just shut the fuck up altogether. I don’t know just a thought.

[Don’t Syscourse on this post, please]

#Pesky and Co #Rant #DID #OSDD #USDD #Dissociative Identity Disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #unspecified dissociative disorder #Ok to reblog #suicide ment

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legoshi-plz · 4 years

Text

Late Night Visitor Part 2

Summary: Late Night Visitor Part 2. Things continue to escalate with Riz and you feel as if there’s no way out. Help comes in the form of an unexpected ally.

Part One

Warnings: Smut (NSFW 18+), Rape/Non-Con, Threat of Violence, Language, etc...

///////////////

“Deeper, don’t make me have to say it again,” Riz growled, his grip on the fur on the back of your head tightening. You opened your jaws wider to allow more of him down your throat while fighting your own gag reflex.

“Mhm, that’s it. Looks like old dogs can learn new tricks,” he chuckled at his own demeaning words. You closed your eyes to try and remove yourself as much as you could from the situation but it was hard with him stuffing nearly every orfice you had.

He currently had three thick digits stuffed inside your dripping entrance while he fucked your throat raw with his monstrous cock. He was completely filling you and the worst part was that you could feel your orgasm coming at any moment. That would be the final blow of shame for this evening, him berating you for ‘enjoying’ it when you literally had no choice. You had long ago lost control over the pleasure functions of your body. No matter how much you hated him with every fiber of your being, there were certain stimulation your body couldn’t ignore.

“You’re fucking soaking my fingers, Y/N. It’s getting late but fuck it, I gotta have you,” He groaned, slapping your face with his free hand to get you to let him go. You didn’t see what difference it would make what time it was, the two of you were already late to Drama club. Most evenings when he made you give your body to him, you were usually too fucked out to even show up at all.

You started to get up off your knees but apparently you were moving too slow for Riz, so he picked you up by your waist and slammed you into the abandoned classroom wall forcefully. Without a word of warning, he pushed the entirety of his length into you. You winced at the burn this stretch always caused but were relieved it wasn’t as overall unbearable as it usually is. You hated that you were grateful for him forcing his fingers into you earlier.

“C’mon baby, you know the drill,” his voice was husky and you knew if you played along this could be over quickly.

“Oh my god, Riz, your dick feels amazing,” you moaned. You could feel him quickening his pace already at your words.

“Tell me how much you love it, FUCK!” He growled, his thrusts pounding your cervix to punctuate each word. You knew he was desperate now and that you could end this in a few mere words.

“I love it when you use me like this. I love being your whore. And I really love it when you cum inside me.” His face was buried into your neck and he had his entire weight pinning you to the wall, nearly crushing you.

“Say you need it, say you fucking need it, slut!” His voice was high pitched and beginning to crack. It was all over now.

“I need your cum, Riz. I need you to cum inside me,” you moaned and your body suddenly jolted at your own orgasm washed over you unexpectedly. Riz was right behind you, shooting thick white ropes into you until it reached capacity and began spilling down the sides. You turned your head in disgust while he watched the sight as if he’d just discovered gold.

“It’s like you get tighter and tighter every time. Keep this up and I’ll have to carve you open just to fuck you,” he chuckled, pulling out of you. You didn’t laugh.

Once he set you down, you adjusted your uniform as best you could, trying to hightail it out of there as quickly as your wobbly legs would carry you. You made it to the hallway before he gripped your arm and jerked you back towards him, nearly ripping your arm out the socket.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” He said almost pleasantly as if he didn’t just force himself on you yet again.

You silently reached up on your tippy toes offering your lips to him. He had to bend down to complete the kiss, his lips burning against your own. The kiss was hungry and all-consuming, much like everything else about Riz.

“There you two are!” A chipper voice rang down the hall and you felt your insides turn to ice. You could tell by the way Riz’s grip on your arm tightened that he had been caught off guard too.

Juno bounced down the hallway, her usual bubbly self. She had a knowing smirk on her face indicating she’d caught you two kissing. You prayed that was the only thing she noticed.

“Louis sent me to come find you, Y/N. He was gonna announce the parts for the Winter showcase but held off since everyone wasn’t there. He’s pretty angry,” Juno said as Riz loosened his grip on your arm and slid it down so it looked like he was holding your hand, not previously yanking you about in a death grip.

“We were just about to head there now,” Riz smiled as the two of you followed behind Juno. You wanted to make an excuse so you could head back to your dorm and scrub every trace of Riz off of you but his hand in yours told you that wasn’t an option.

“So how long have you two lovebirds been dating?” Juno chirped, smiling back at the two of you.

“We’re just really good friends,” Riz said pleasantly before you even had a chance to process her question.

“I see, keeping it under wraps for now. Oh how romantic! I wish a certain someone would notice me like that but he barely even notices I’m alive,” She sighed in her own world.

“Well that can always change, sometimes even overnight,” Riz said throwing you a shit-eating grin. You blanched at the memory of that first night.

The rest of the walk there was uneventful and Riz let your hand go the second the two of you neared the auditorium. The moment you two stepped inside it was as if he didn’t know you at all, barely even looked at you. You felt a minuscule amount of weight lift from your shoulders.

“Y/N! My office!” Louis barked the second he laid eyes on you. And just like that the stress was back on again.

You followed him in, barely making it inside before he slammed the door crudely.

“You want to explain yourself?” He said in a condescending tone as he plopped down at his desk.

“E-explain myself?”

“I was under the impression you actually wanted the solo slot for the Winter showcase yet your actions have done nothing but prove otherwise.” Louis admonished and you hug your head in shame. Ever since Riz took it upon himself to make you his own personal fucktoy at his every beck and call, the Winter Showcase was the last thing on your mind.

“I’m sorry, Louis,” You uttered lamely. You didn’t even have an excuse you could admit to him.

“That much is obvious. And the most disappointing aspect of this whole situation is that the part was already yours but you couldn’t even be bothered to show up....” Louis voice trailed off and he suddenly stood from his desk, approaching you rapidly. You tried to inch away but your back quickly made contact with the wall.

“There are bruises all over your neck... and your arms...” Louis examined you and seemed to finally take in your disheveled appearance.

“Did someone.... do this to you?”

“N-No!” You answered too quickly. That was all the clarification he needed.

“There’s been another member from the art department that happens to usually be missing the same times as you. It’s awfully convenient...,” Louis carefully lifted up your skirt, the view of Riz’s cum seeping out of you on full display.

“How long?”

“Louis...”

“How long has this been going on, YN?”

“A... a few weeks now,” you could have died right there from the shame you felt. It was one thing to be regularly abused by Riz but for someone to find out? It was a new level of mortification.

“Y/N, I need you to listen to me very carefully. You need to leave and scrape the very trace of him off of you okay. Does anyone else know about this?” Louis’s eyes were filled with concern and you felt the tears start to well in your eyes.

“J-Juno saw him kiss me but that’s it.”

“Okay, good. She’s very forgetful, especially about.... sensitive subjects. You’re dismissed, go straight to your dorm and stay there for the rest of the night. Do not be alone with him again. Do you understand?” Louis said sternly and you nodded.

“Alright well you better get going then. I’m going to take care of this for you, Y/N.” The tears started to spill at Louis’ promise and you couldn’t help yourself from wrapping your arms around him in a hug of gratitude. He hesitated then slowly returned the gesture.

“Okay, that’s enough. You reek of mating pheromones,” Louis smiled gently, pulling you off of him.

You followed his orders and went straight to your dorm and scrubbed every trace of Riz off of you. You went to bed that night with your mind racing with different scenarios of how Louis intended to ‘handle’ this. What if he just made things worse for you? What if he tried to talk to Riz about it and Riz killed him?

What if Riz killed you?

You didn’t get hardly any sleep that night.

///////////

The next day you drug yourself to class as usual to find it abuzz with gossip.

“Didn’t you hear-”

“They drug him out in handcuffs-”

“It took like three of them to even muzzle him-”

“Wasn’t taking his government issued suppressants-”

You tuned into the chatter only to discover that apparently early this morning, the police came and carted Riz off for the murder of Tem. You were shocked and horrified that you’d been getting raped by a literal murderer for weeks now but you also felt an enormous amount of relief and strangely enough, a tad bit of guilt as well.

What if you had been putting other students in danger by allowing him to do that to you for as long as he did and not speaking up about it?

That’s when Louis suddenly flashed to your mind. Had he been the one to orchestrate this? Had he been the reason Riz was being hauled off to juvenile detention. Did Louis really have this type of power?

You rushed straight to his office as soon as Drama club began to find out some answers.

“Louis, did you hear? About what happened to Riz?” You asked. Louis glanced up at you, a knowing look in his eyes.

“Yes, it is regrettable we had to lose such a dedicated member of our club in such a manner. Close the door behind you, will you?” He nodded, and you came fully into his office and closed the door.

“Lock it.” He ordered and you complied.

“Come here Y/N,” he said calmly and you walked to the front of his desk.

“Here,” he said curling a finger in his direction. You approached the side of his desk next to where he was sitting and he pulled you down into his lap suddenly.

“L-Louis! What are-”

“Did I tell you to speak?” He said sharply and you quickly shut up.

“Now, Riz is no longer an issue. I took care of that for you, just like I said I would. Isn’t that right?” He uttered, allowing his hand to creep up your thigh and under your skirt.

“Answer me!” He snapped and you nodded quickly.

“Y-Yes sir,” you could feel how hard he was beneath you even through the fabric of his uniform.

“Good girl. Now we just need to figure out how you’re going to pay me back for that. That’s one hell of a favor, so naturally it comes at a steep price.” Louis groaned as he moved your panties to the side and slide a long finger into your entrance.

“Do you know how you’re going to pay me back?” Louis slid another finger into you and began to pump slowly.

“N-no,” you said, squirming in his lap, the friction only serving to get him harder.

“I didn’t think so. Hop on the desk so I can taste you. That’ll be a start,” Louis’ eyes was full of lust as he watched you sit on the desk in front of him, spreading your legs for him. He quickly pulled your panties down and pocketed them.

He pulled you closer to the edge by your thighs and inhaled the scent of your core, his eyes fluttering slightly in satisfaction. He dove in, pressing his hot tongue against your slit and lapping at your arousal.

“Your scent has haunted me ever since yesterday. It’s so intoxicating, I had to restrain myself from taking you right then and there,” he moaned inbetween eating you out, “I knew your scent was divine but god you taste even better.”

Your hips bucked lightly at his words, giving away just how much he was turning you on.

“I see someone’s eager,” Louis placed the two fingers from earlier back into your aching cavern. “Be patient, my dear, we have all the time in the world.”

Despite how aroused and shocked you were at Louis’ actions, you couldn’t help the little voice in the back of your mind that rang in alarm.

You were getting the feeling you had only traded in one monster for another.

#beastars #beastars riz #beastars riz x you #beastars riz x reader #riz x reader #riz x you #riz #beastars louis #beastars louis x reader #louis x reader #louis x you

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justforbooks · 3 years

Photo

Image in French magazine depicts Queen kneeling on Duchess of Sussex’s neck, echoing George Floyd’s killing

French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo has sparked outrage with a cartoon depiction of Queen Elizabeth kneeling on the neck of Meghan Markle, echoing the death of George Floyd.

The controversial publication’s cartoon comes after the Duchess of Sussex, and her husband, Prince Harry, told US interviewer Oprah Winfrey of apparent racism within the royal family, though they did not criticise the Queen. But Markle said courtiers refused her permission to leave Kensington Palace on occasion and that she once only left twice in four months, leading her to experience severe loneliness and suicidal ideations.

In the cartoon, published on Saturday and titled “Why Meghan quit”, the Duchess of Sussex is depicted saying, “Because I couldn’t breathe any more”.

Halima Begum, the chief executive of the Runnymede Trust, the UK’s race equality thinktank, said that it was “wrong on every level”.

“The Queen as George Floyd’s murderer crushing Meghan’s neck?” she tweeted. “Meghan saying she’s unable to breathe? This doesn’t push boundaries, make anyone laugh or challenge racism. It demeans the issues and causes offence, across the board.”

Prince William this week defended the monarchy against accusations of racism made by the Sussexes, saying: “We’re very much not a racist family.”

The cartoon also angered some of those fond of the Queen, as she is shown in an extremely derogatory light – red-eyed, gurning, with hairy legs.

In 2015, 11 people including the top editor and some of its leading cartoonists were killed as brothers Said and Chérif Kouachi attacked the magazine’s Paris headquarters after the magazine published controversial cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad. Two days later, a friend of the brothers, Amédy Coulibaly, took hostages and killed four people at a kosher supermarket in Paris. Charlie Hebdo republished the cartoons last year.

In France, where secularism is enshrined in the republic’s constitution, the magazine is seen as an important symbol of a country not bound by religious rule. But others view Charlie Hebdo as provocative and inconsiderate of the serious issues faced by oppressed groups.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #Charlie Hebdo

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hcpefulmarshmallow · 3 years

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Anonymous said:

Once i saw a video on youtube explaining a certain "anime character type", and it compared Akechi with Nagito. (I dont remember the other characters the video mentioned) what are your thoughts about it? Do you think they're similar?

You know, Anon, the dumb lizard brain that governs my every impulse wants to point at them and say: “mentally unstable twinks with great hair and a Very Heterosexual rivalry with the protagonist” and call it a day. Here’s the thing, though: my feelings about Akechi started strong and stayed that way throughout my Persona 5 experience, though the nature of those feelings has changed drastically since my first impression. (And I quote: “Who’s this Light Yagami-looking motherfucker? No, I don’t trust him. That smile is the last thing someone saw.”) And I want to talk about him. I also never don’t want to talk about Nagito. So you know what? I’m gonna.

Spoilers, by the way.

---

In short, I do feel they fall into a very specific character archetype. Namely: the morally ambiguous foil to the main character. Not a villain, not a hero, but rather somebody who follows their own moral code. With a dash of insanity, of course, because anime gonna anime.

For me, their most intriguing similarities run deeper than a trope, however, and it all starts with this inflated sense of self-importance they seem to share. I know what I said, just go with me on this one.

Nagito, at a glance, seems to have the very opposite of an ego. Forever putting himself down, calling himself all kinds of worthless, and willingly throwing his very life at every cause that comes his way. But herein lies the contradiction that defines him as a character. For all his espousing that the hopeless may never be hopeful, he still leaps at the chance to become worthy. He wants so badly to be more than he is, that he struggles to see a world outside his own perception. He is, of course, compassionate and empathetic; but, unlike Hajime (or even Joker), whose talent with people comes from their respective abilities to remove themselves from a situation and see it as someone else would in order to make a moral judgement, Nagito cannot fathom a world that doesn’t conform to his ideals. Hope and despair, good and back luck -- and there he sits in the eye of it all, defeated yet somehow untouchable. He can’t watch someone trip three feet away from him without assuming his luck has played some role in it.

Akechi is much the same way, though he owns it a little better. He sees all things as means towards his ends. He has his idea of how the world and it’s people work, and therein lie his issues with Joker. Because he plays by his own rules, which are fundamentally incompatible with Akechi’s. Much in the same way as Nagito becomes fixated on Hajime, the Ultimate, talentless, worthless, most shining beacon of hope there is; Akechi sees how Joker is consistently beaten down by life and yet strives to carve his own path, and is unable to cope with either the jealously or the admiration he feels, never mind any combination thereof. Moreover, he, too, desires to rise above and be more than he is: the hero of his own story, despite taking rather unheroic steps to get there.

I would, of course, be remiss not to mention the similarities in their upbringings that lead to these insecurities. Nagito lost both his parents at a young age, and from there, we’re given no indication of any long-term adult influence in his life. Quite the opposite, he seems to have been demeaned and shunned by his extended family at large. It is also implied at times that his parents were not very loving, though there is some debate around that, so take it as you will. Akechi was abandoned by his father who deemed his mother beneath him because she was a sex worker, and was left with a seething hatred for the man because of it. After his mother’s suicide, he was passed from institution to institution, likewise having no long-term positive influence in his life.

Both were left to, essentially, raise themselves; glean their own image of the world and build their moral compass around lives that were unimaginably cruel, ruthless, and unfair. Thus, it’s likely their worst behaviours could have been avoided, had they stable home lives. Of course, this is no excuse, plenty of people grow up in unstable environments and don’t go on to harm others, however, it places them a step above senseless. In fact, they also share an incredible intellect, charm, good looks, and quite the way with words. If you’ve played both games, you know what I’m talking about.

Furthermore, they have this habit of standing on the outside, looking in. Nagito spends much of DR2 implying heavily that he would like to spend more time with the others as their friend, but does little to actually reach out to them. Viewing himself below them, and seeing no reason why such incredible people would want to hang out with trash like him. Akechi also keeps the Thieves at a distance. There are many times when they reach out to him, offer to help him find his way -- and he almost seems to want to. Yet it is as if he doesn’t know how. He has no idea what, besides hatred and spite, could possibly fuel him. Nor does he really know what there is for him to gain from forming genuine bonds with others, or why he should want them. But he does, that much is clear. They each crave acceptance, while accepting it as a lost cause, even as the protagonist of their respective games has their hand out to them. And this, once again, can likely be traced to their equally terrible upbringings, and lack of any real understanding of the world as it is, rather than as they see it.

I could absolutely go on all day down this path. And, hell, at some point, I might. But the overall theme I’m getting at here, is this delicate balance these two characters walk. Being soft and charming, and deadly and dangerous. Intelligent, yet profoundly ignorant. Eccentric and borderline reprehensible, but at the same time, deeply relatable, and extremely likeable. They aren’t psycho for the sake of it, and I’ll argue that to my grave. But moreover, what we have here is the ultimate products of the worlds they were made for. Parallels are drawn constantly between Nagito and Hajime, Akechi and Joker, in a “there but for the grace of god go I” way, and it falls the same every time. Joker forged a home among friends, and people he considered family. Even after being hurt, he found the strength to be vulnerable for someone, and that someone happened to be the right someone; and though these people, he became stronger still. Likewise, Hajime took risks, took responsibility, and became respected and loved through hard work and compassion. He faced his own fear of worthlessness, and in the end, he didn’t fold to it the way Nagito did. He built his own purpose in life, and it was as full of hope as any Ultimate’s. These are feats beyond comprehension to our antiheroes, who may well have turned out to be the heroes after all if they’d only been shown the same support and care. And that’s why I think this character type appeals to so many people, and why these characters become so beloved. I think we become invested in their stories, and we want to show them compassion. There’s a reason why Nagito and Akechi are frequently shipped around, why they exist in so many fix-it fics. At the end of the day, we know the difference between bad people, and people who do bad things. It’s that, the latter may not be beyond saving.

And finally, can I...? If you’ve played the third semester of Royal, they really just make Akechi Like That, huh? In the original Japanese, he was apparently supposed to just come off as tired and not particularly wanting to mend any of his relationships or mistakes since he knew his death was looming, so I’m not sure why they took one look at this complex character development and said, “Hm, let’s just make him balls to the wall, shall we?” but hey. I’ve got to give it to his VA, I had to put down my controller several times because holy shit. Just. Holy shit. Give that man all of the awards. All of them, every single one, please.

#meta;#nagito komaeda #goro akechi #ok to rb #( tagging bc someone might enjoy idk??#i haven't slept in four days appreciate my semi-coherent babbling #no proofreading though we die like men )

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obeymeluv · 4 years

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Ohhh how about the boys reacting to a lower demon hitting on reader? Like aggressively hitting on them that it’s already quite uncomfortable? Or it could be the shy, almost sweet type?

Hey there! Holy wow, how long has this been here? I usually check Tumblr from my phone and I guess message notifications don’t come through? So sorry T_T

Either way, Nonnie, this isn’t good :o

Divider from Glitter Geeks

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“It cannot be helped, for I am born of sin and they inspire it in me.”

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Lucifer

This is the BIGGEST, ULTIMATE NO

Like, all of Mammon’s past transgressions don’t POSSIBLY add up to this insult

At first Lucifer pays no mind because you seem to be integrating into the Devildom and furthering Diavolo’s grand plan. Good!

Then it starts to gnaw at him and he really pays attention. Call it the keen eye of an ex-angel, to watch over humans

Half of him is earnestly trying to plan things to say on the way over, not hearing how his own footsteps echo thunderously with impending doom, but half of him can’t even concentrate due to the overwhelming sense of wrong.

You seem very uncomfortable, this lesser demon is more incompetent than he thought possible, and there’s something hot and nauseating burning in him. It almost hurts to clear his throat, honestly

It feels like the part he’d forgotten about...almost all that Satan was. He honestly thought he didn’t have any wrath left in him, for pride seemed far nastier a thing to be stuck with

He lets those big black wings, once the pride of the Celestial Realm, unfurl in a great and terrifying display. He used to shine in the Celestial Realm when he revealed his true form, but in the Devildom it translates as pure heat

He fans his wings to cool the air around you but the lesser demon now knows his looming shadow and his terrifying presence

If the demon is bold enough to stick around, Lucifer introduces you as the resident human transfer, discourages them from making you late, and suggests any further interaction happen in the presence of one of your seven guardians (“Of which I am one.”)

Although he mentioned seven guardians, it’s clear that he’s the key guardian. The one who will oversee all, and that’s enough to send the demon skittering away.

It takes a few minutes for the air to cool and his wings to fold back in and Lucifer uses that time to glare a burning hole into the lesser creature.

Finally he looks at you and asks you how you’re feeling. Nothing bad happened? Do you need to file paperwork?

Would probably consort with Diavolo to cast a minor enchantment so you could protect yourself if one of the brothers weren’t around

Mammon

You think another demon’s going to get close enough to talk to you? While in the presence of your NUMBER ONE MAN?! Ha!

Mammon may complain about having to go to classes and tries to convince you to ditch more often than not, but he really does look out for you

And boy is Greed’s Avatar so he’s not going to skimp on the company

That also means he’s not going to share your company when he doesn’t feel like it

Mammon may not be openly flirtatious like Asmo, but he knows all about swindling people for their heart (for it is just as valuable as money) and he knows when this demon comes slithering up that he’s BAD NEWS

He’s clever with money-making schemes, has successfully stolen from almost all of his brothers to pawn things, and has brokered deals with witches in such a way that he’s barely affected. Boy’s going to know how to dodge a creep

And for a while, it works. He teaches you back passages and all sorts of little things

But, inevitably, you have to face it alone. He’s not going to always be there.

And he kicks himself when he’s not. Seems he’s only minutes late but ANYBODY who knows you--like your number one man!--knows you’re uncomfortable and THE GREAT MAMMON has to do something!

What does he do? The biggest, loudest, flashiest thing possible. THE BIGGEST SIGN YOU COULD GIVE ANYBODY

If the demon isn’t discouraged from Mammon yell-talking at you halfway down the corridor, Mammon gets to see the delicious way he deflates after he throws an arm around your neck and starts apologizing to ‘his human’ about being late

If he’s in a bad mood that day, he’ll probably toss the demon a single Grimm and tell him to get lost or go buy himself something nice.

The height difference is probably pretty significant so it’s easier for him to just scoop you under his arm and carry you down the hall. Or let his tail wrap around you and walk you down the hall.

Leviathan

I’d be interested to see Levi in this position, honestly. Part of me thinks he’d be too shy to do anything, instead sulking in his room, but part of me thinks once he sees you as a friend (or something more) he’s going to go to bat for you

If it’s that second one, he’d be slyly demeaning. Being the third-born, he’s probably got an intelligent sarcastic streak like Lucifer and a subtle underhandedness like Mammon.

As the Avatar of Envy, his main game is to make the lesser demon feel insignificant by pointing out how little they know you. They’re not your real friend like him so obviously they’re nothing.

He’s much better, anyways. They’re an NPC, he’s Player 1.

I’m also very, very curious about his position in the Devildom Navy. Is that some kind of a switch-flip moment where he can command a room no questions asked, or is it some kind of wickedly good strategy innateness?

Being a background person (and having Asmo as a brother), he probably overhears a lot of gossip. He’d probably drop some real gossip, something embarrassing. Probably say you were needed by Lucifer, as that’s more to-the-point and believable

The aim of the game is to send the demon away, to create distance. Mission accomplished.

Satan

He won’t intervene until he gets the idea that you’re uncomfortable. It’s a whole process with this one.

On the one hand, he wants you to be able to handle yourself. If you are not enough to send the creature away, then he’ll intervene. Partly because he’s technically responsible for you, partly because he cannot stand idly by and entertain this idiocy.

Satan has many tricks but his favorite one is to freeze the demon out by ignoring him.

Totally dominates/inserts himself into the conversation. Makes the demon feel like he isn’t there.

If that doesn’t work and your scrambling to corroborate him or just back out of the conversation, Satan speaks for you. (”We’re studying later.”, etc.). If the demon tries for another day, Satan just coolly adds ‘and tomorrow’ or ‘for the rest of the week’ until the point is made.

The longer this issue continues--despite his help--the more the Avatar of Wrath begins to reveal himself. That aura alone is usually enough to send anything running.

Kinda feels like he made an ass of himself no matter what, and apologizes after you two are alone. Is very cute and embarrassed.

Gives you a biting book. It’s an enchanted tome you can train not to bite certain people. You two are the only ones that can hold it. He looks forward to seeing how many people it bites before the week is over (a little too happy).

Asmodeus

Oh the many ways this could be handled! Asmo has so many ideas!

At first his little heart skips a beat because how cute is this?! A cliche romance unfolding in the halls of RAD between a human and a demon? Then his little ‘radar’ begins to ping and he realizes not all is well or cute

He was kind of glad, honestly. You could do MUCH better (like him!)

It could be as easy as Asmo sliding in and charming the lesser demon to leave you alone, walking away in a stupor, or more complicated and sinister

Asmo’s never done anything truly, intentionally sinister but rumor mills can be pretty devastating. The lesser demon may find himself at the center of some unsavory rumors that cause him to slink around the general populous

The narcissistic fifth-born probably has something of a following. He may appoint some of his followers as body guards or just extra eyes to keep you safe

Or he could do a total 180 and make this lesser demon seem totally dreamy to others so they get chased and leave you alone. Yes, he quite likes that one!

Then there’s the traditional route, the most obvious (which Asmo prefers because, honestly, you two would be the CUTEST couple) where he’s your boyfriend and you guys didn’t want to tell anyone but OOPS! SECRET’S OUT! Great, now go away! Wait, take a picture for his Devilgram first! Okay, now go.

Beelzebub

Probably takes Beel a bit to notice your discomfort. If he’s not distracted with food, it’s because he didn’t want to act in bad faith. What if you actually liked talking to that demon? What if you were just awkward like Levi? It’s a delicate matter.

Beel is no fool, though. He’s very friendly. If he introduces himself and the lesser demon doesn’t quit his behavior, Beel will then turn serious.

Tries to emphasize to the demon that you’ve said no

May show muscle or offer up a challenge. Sometimes people are hard-headed like that and need action.

“You want to date them? Beat me in an arm-wrestling competition.” (they won’t)

Beelzebub can be down-right crafty. “You want to date them? Beat me in an eating competition.” (he’s the undisputed champion).

I think he’d use his size in a good way. If this demon keeps cornering you/pestering you, Beel’s going to make a habit of walking between you or just picking you up until the demon gets the hint that if Beel’s around, he’s not talking to you

Belphegor

The smallest part of him is too tired to deal with this but he’s powered by the sheer amount of HELL NO and decides he has to fix it.

Fix it once and it stops

Belphie, like Satan and Lucifer, has a low tolerance for stupid things. This demon is one of them.

Very cut-throat and point blank. “They’re not interested. Go away.”

Lord Diavolo and Lucifer expressly mentioned they couldn’t use their powers on YOU, not other demons. Belphie can probably make people really sleepy. He’d make this demon so deliriously tired that he couldn’t flirt with you

Definitely the type to make the demon pass out in the hall and leave him there. Head injury? No clue, he had to go to class. It’s okay, the other RAD students probably won’t step on them.

So mad about the demon. “Honestly!” as he fluffs his pillow angrily after you two have settled in your next class. It’s the angriest nap he’s ever taken.

I don’t think he takes his pillow to school but you can bet he’d but a brick or something in it and whack them. Maybe try to suffocate them. Probably wouldn’t risk his precious pillow like that.

I bet he’d fake nap if the demon tries to flirt with you in class. LOUD, OBNOXIOUS, GRATING fake snoring.

Hope you liked it :)

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sierraraeck · 3 years

Text

DeLeon (Pt.1)

BAU x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: Aundreya and the team have to devise a plan to get Spencer back safely, which could mean tossing Aundreya back into the belly of the beast. Story twenty-four.

Category: Angst, but I end with some angsty-fluff?

Warnings: Cussing. Another kidnapping. Some torture, like getting hit, kicked, and some knife cuts involved. Think about that scene when Emily took a beating for Spencer in Minimal Loss. Forced drug use.

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: Here we go again with more problems. But we might just fix them this time. Also, I’m not sure how accurate my drug information is.

Stitching yourself up hurts like a bitch. It requires lots of alcohol in all capacities. I may have knocked out the fist guy, but the other two were good. One of them opened up a nice gash in my left leg with my own goddamn knife, which I finished stitching and started wrapping. I tried my best not to pass out, but I came close at least three times.

Once I wrapped it, I hobbled to my bedroom to change clothes. I didn’t have time to worry about the blood on them, or in the living room for that matter, and just tossed them to the side. I threw on a new shirt and a skirt. I hated skirts, but they would be the least restrictive on my wound, which I didn’t have time to worry about because the team needed my help to find Spencer, not to mention, what on earth was I going to do with the dead body in the middle of my apartment?

Up the ‘pass out attempt counter’ to four.

I limped back out of my bedroom, stepped over the man's body that finally stopped bleeding all over my rug, and grabbed my jacket and phone to head to the BAU, locking the door firmly shut behind me.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

“What took you so long?” JJ hissed as I entered the bullpen.

Nearly all of my focus was on how I was walking, making sure that I didn’t look as crippled as I felt, so I could barely comprehend what she had just asked. She stared at me expectantly for a few seconds before I realized that was my cue to answer her. “Problem with my car. Sorry.”

I quickly searched for a seat while Hotch started reviewing what we had, “We know that Reid was taken between 8 and 11pm earlier tonight. If DeLeon sticks to our profile, he should still be somewhere in the immediate DC area. I visited Clyde in the hospital and he said he got the license plate numbers, but we’re sure DeLeon’s ditched those by now.”

“I ran those and the car was abandoned six miles away from Spencer’s apartment heading east,” Penelope chimed in.

“JJ, will you call local PD to begin blocking roadways and shutting down everything within a ten mile radius of Reid’s apartment?” Hotch requested, but it was more of a command.

“Absolutely,” JJ replied, already halfway out the door.

“Chambers, are you still willing to host a press conference about why we are shutting the area down?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Great. We have a script, but you mentioned adding in something so that DeLeon would know where to meet you, or if he’s already set up, to send you the location?” Hotch confirmed.

“Yes,” I repeated. I tried hard to focus on how I was going to send him that message, or elicit one out of him, instead of the throbbing artery in my leg.

“Chambers,” Morgan whistled twice to get my attention, “Chambers!”

“Yeah, what?” I faltered.

“Are you doing okay? You look a little pale,” he observed.

“No, I’m fine,” I insisted.

“Are you sure?” he pushed.

“Yes, I’m good. I’m ready,” I assured. I stood up, which was a colossal mistake on my part, having not evaluated my current situation.

“No you’re not, you’re bleeding,” Emily said, concern coating her face.

“I’m what?” The question flew out of my mouth before my head caught up. I looked down to see a steady stream of blood running down my leg. I whispered, “Oh.”

“What happened, sit down,” Emily suggested, walking over to me.

“Oh, nothing, I’m sure it’s fine,” I shrugged. “Put me on air.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Derek asked. “You can’t go out like that.”

“Another one?” Hotch confirmed, calm as ever. I just nodded.

“Another one of what?” Emily turned to face Hotch. He raised his eyebrows as he tilted his head toward me, his silent way of passing the question off. Emily brown eyes trained on my own.

“Another break in.”

“What?” both her and Derek asked at the same time. Derek followed with, “Break in?”

“Yes, break in,” I confirmed, reaching down to pull up my skirt, exposing the source of the blood. “It’s been going on for a few months now.”

“A few months?” Derek repeated.

“Repeating what I say is not going to help,” I attempted a joke.

“Why are we just now hearing about this?” Emily stepped back in.

I looked down, “There’s nothing you could’ve done to change it.”

“Yes! We could’ve added more locks, or higher security, or-”

I cut her off with a demeaning scoff, “Oh come on. You think the people who have the guts to come after me are going to shy away from some locks or security systems? That’s not exactly how this works.”

“We could’ve been there,” she firmly hissed between her teeth.

“Why?” I legitimately wanted to know, “So you could’ve lost as much sleep as I have? So you could’ve come out with as many bruises as cuts as me? So you could’ve ended up as one of the dead bodies in my living room? No thanks.”

“One of the dead bodies in your living room?” Derek’s eyebrows were still drawn in concern.

“Did I say dead body?” I questioned. Smooth, bitch. “I don’t recall mentioning a dead body.”

He sighed and shook his head. “You are impossible.”

“Yes, and while this is quite fascinating chit-chat, can we please refocus on our main issue?” I redirected.

I hadn’t noticed Rossi had left the room until he came back, plopping an FBI grade medical kit on the table in front of me. I gave him a tight lipped smile and a nod, my way of saying thank you. He returned a single nod, letting me know he got the message. I started patching myself back up, while trying to think of the best way to get the right message to DeLeon.

When it was time for me to face the cameras, I felt I looked sufficiently professional with my hair brushed and an absence of blood on my leg.

I walked out of the building to a stupid amount of cameras, and felt blinded by the number of lights in my eyes. It was as dark as the night could get, completely cloud covered preventing any sort of moonlight from seeping through, and I wasn’t sure how many people were watching breaking news at 12:20am, but there was really only one person who needed to see it. Well, maybe two.

“Good evening, I’m Agent Pincher with the behavioral analysis unit of the FBI. Earlier tonight, we received a report of a theft and kidnapping from a local bar and club, and believe the perpetrator, Mr. Robbi Raymond, to be armed and dangerous. We ask that all residents within the DC and surrounding areas stay in their homes and get off the roads as soon as possible while we do everything we can to find this man and bring him to justice,” I presented. The reporters all started firing questions at me, all of which I ignored, turning around to head back inside the building. Where it was quiet.

“Why’d we even give you a script,” Rossi playfully sighed, “if you’re not even going to use it?”

“I used it. Kind of,” I smiled.

“Who the hell is Agent Pincher?” he asked, “And how does that relate to DeLeon?”

I was about to answer him, but I started seeing stars. My vision got fuzzy and it sounded like Rossi’s voice was playing from a muffled radio a hundred feet from me. I reached out for something, anything, and barely felt fabric over my fingertips before I felt nothing at all.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

Pass out counter: 1.

There was something cold and wet dripping down my forehead and thigh. I blinked my eyes open only to get a freezing cold water droplet in one of them. I sat up, causing the ziploc bag of half-melted ice to fall to the floor. I was back in the round table room laying on the couch, Penelope sitting in a chair next to me.

“Morning,” she chirped. I looked down at my leg which also had a bag of ice on it and a fresh set of bandages. After realizing that, I made a move to get up. Penelope placed one of her soft hands on my shoulder and said, “Slow down, we wouldn’t want you passing out again.”

I ignored her thoughtful comment, and went to fully stand up. “Have we heard anything yet?”

Penelope looked at me awkwardly for a moment, like she didn’t know how to answer. They told her not to tell me about it. “What is it, Pen?”

“I’m not supposed to say anything,” she admitted.

“Come on, please,” I begged, “You know I can help. What happened?”

“They got a message saying ‘See you there.’ They’re trying to figure out where ‘there’ is,” Penelope informed me.

“Fantastic,” I smiled, “If you let me outta here, I can go tell them where ‘there’ is.”

“Why don’t you tell me, and I’ll go tell them,” she smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

I mirrored her smile, but shook my head instead, “Why don’t I just tell them myself.”

“Aundreya, please,” she pleaded.

“Penelope,” I mimicked, “please. This is Spencer’s life we’re talking about.”

She seemed torn for a few moments before relenting, “Fine.” She let me go, but called after me, “You really do love him, don’t you?”

I shyly smiled, and deflected, “I’ve got to go save him.”

She nodded and I felt her eyes on me all the way out the door.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

“You have to keep it on the whole time,” Derek reminded me.

“I know,” I was irritated, “You’ve told me that three times now.”

“The entire time. Don’t take it off of your own free will.”

“I will smack you,” I warned, adjusting my skirt, making sure that the wire was expertly hidden. I knew he was doing it to annoy me and kind of joke around to keep me lighthearted before I went in, but it was really just amplifying my nerves.

“Unless he searches you and finds it, you keep it on the whole - ow!” Derek started. I’d slapped him across the arm. Hard.

“What? I gave you a heads up,” I pointed out.

“Are you ready to go?” Aaron asked, walking over to where I was standing.

“Yes,” I confidently replied.

“Good. We will be listening the whole time,” he assured. I nodded, took a deep breath, and headed toward the gentlemen’s club entrance.

I walked in to find that it was completely empty, as it should’ve been considering the road blocks and evacuations. It felt eerie, though, walking into an environment I was used to that bustled with people, now completely silent. It felt beyond wrong.

I started whistling, “Oh DeLeon, where are you?” When I got no response, I tried again, “DeLeon, I know you’re in here.”

I felt the air shift around me before I heard, “Behind you, babe.”

I ducked as I spun around, making sure to dodge any possible headshots he was planning. I was right to do so, because when I could fully face him, he was holding a half filled glass bottle of whiskey. “Where’s Spencer?”

“Aww, your precious little baby agent,” he mockingly cooed, rolling his eyes, “He’s not here.”

“You know, for as good of a criminal as you are, you’re a pretty shitty liar,” I commented.

He completely ignored me as he changed the subject, “I have to admit, that broadcast you put out was pretty clever. Agent Pincher and Robbi Raymond? Made this venue very easy to pick.”

“I try,” I shrugged. He and I had first met in a club in Chicago that was owned by a very rich man named Robbi Raymond. He owned multiple strip clubs across the country, and the one we were standing in right now was one of them. Or, at least, used to be. Raymond went bankrupt after falling for an elaborate scam set up by the Cloaks, one that I helped complete when I pick-pocketed him during a lap dance, finally getting my first bit of recognition. DeLeon and his boys nicknamed me Pocket Pincher. “I made things easy for you, so why don’t you make things easy for me. Where’s Spencer?”

“He’s not here,” DeLeon repeated.

I huffed, “Sure, not in this exact room, but I know he’s here somewhere. Where has your creativity taken you this time? The back room? Behind the stage?”

“Why don’t you let me lead you there?” he suggested. I gestured for him to start walking, but he didn’t budge. “Blindfolded.”

I scoffed, “And why on earth would I trust you to blindly lead me to a dark room where you could kill us both?”

He shrugged, “That depends on how much you want to see your little not-boyfriend again.”

I glared at him for a long while, hating how his smirk grew ever so slightly at my silence. He knew it would eventually turn into a yes. “Fine.”

“Fantastic,” he sang, walking to the other side of me. A shiver ran down my spine at the mere thought of having him out of eyesight, but I didn’t really have a choice. I don’t know where the blindfold came from, but it was over my eyes in seconds, and completely blacked out. He then placed a hand on my back, which I squirmed away from, but he grabbed the hem of my shirt and tugged.

When he lifted it up, exposing my back to the stale club air, I demanded, “Get your hands off me!”

“What? Can’t a guy admire his handiwork?” he asked, reminding me of yet another scar he left on my body.

“Don’t touch me,” I bit, “I’ll just follow your voice as long as you tell me which directions to turn.” I couldn’t have him leading me blindly to where Spencer was without letting the team know how to get there.

“I don’t think so,” he said, reaching up behind my hair to yank on the small wire that was placed there. “I wouldn’t want it to be that easy to find.”

I am in big, big trouble. “Lead the way, then,” I spat. He did, placing his hand back on my back and leading me down multiple hallways and a variety of left turns, all of which I tried to keep track of, until he ripped the blindfold off my eyes.

We were in a small, what I guessed to be a VIP, dance room with two poles and a lavish red velvet couch. Tied to one of those poles was Spencer Reid. I was about to call out to him when DeLeon clapped his scruffy, clammy hand over my mouth, pulled out a gun, and aimed it at Spencer. “Why don’t you sit on the couch?”

He’s stepped to the side of me and I nodded frantically at his request. He just can’t hurt Spencer. He removed his hand from my mouth, then brought it to his, putting his pointer against his lips. I walked over to the couch and sat down like he requested, finally getting to study Spencer. He was tied, not chained, and was slouching, as if he was sleeping standing up. I would have thought that was exactly what he was doing had it not been for his partially unbuttoned shirt, already developing bruises, and bloodshot eyes staring right at me. They were glossed over, and I couldn’t tell if he was actually seeing me, or just looking through me. I so desperately wanted to call out to him, let the rest of the team know that I’d found him, but DeLeon still had his gun aimed in Spencer’s direction. I was worried that any sudden movement would set him off.

He walked over to me, lowering his gun just slightly, and whispered, “I don’t like it when people don’t hold up their end of the deal.” As he said that, he made quick work of removing the wire. So much for Derek’s ‘keep it on’ pep talk. I thought he would smash it right there, but instead he back walked toward a small changing room, careful to open the door with as little sound as possible.

DeLeon disappeared behind the door for a moment or two, just enough time for me to whisper, “Spence.”

He met my eyes, like really met my eyes, but there was no emotion there. He was as cold as stone, and I had to respect him for finding a way to get through this. When DeLeon returned he was holding a small radio-like device that I didn’t totally recognize. He set it down on a small wood table across the room, set the wire in front of it, and clicked play.

“What do you want, DeLeon?” the voice came over the speaker. My voice.

“You broke our deal,” his voice sneered, “I want to show you what happens when you break other people’s things.”

My mind was racing. We’ve never had that conversation before. I’ve never said that before. How did he get my voice on that recording? I’ve never said those things before.

I was listening and trying to figure out how he did that, and why? What was he planning? As if he could read my mind, DeLeon walked over and whispered, “You’re not the only one with tech inclined friends. I just handed over all of those recordings of your voice, and what do you know? It’s like we’re having a conversation.” I was astonished. I wanted to stand up and yell, which I was about to do, but DeLeon added, “I wouldn’t scream if I were you. We’re going to keep things nice and quiet.” His gun was back on Spencer.

He walked to the middle of the room and announced just quieter than the recording, “We’re going to play a little game. I’ve got a variety of fun things planned for us, but every time a new one is introduced, I will give Aundreya here the option to take it or leave it.”

“I don’t understand,” I replied, shaking my head.

“It’s very simple,” DeLeon purred, cracking his knuckles. “You get a choice: I hurt you, or I hurt him.”

My answer was also very simple, “Me.”

“I figured as much,” he grinned, walking over to me, “Oh, and try not to make any noise, would you?” I braced myself as he wound up to hit me, planting a very solid blow to my right cheek. I bit back a grunt.

“You or him?” DeLeon asked.

“Me.” And he hit me again, this time on the left side.

“You or him?”

“Me.” Another one.

“You or him?”

“Me.” This one was aimed at my nose, and I heard a distinct crack as blood started running down my face.

“You or him?”

“Me.” Me, me, me, me, me. A hundred times over, me.

I lost count of how many times he’d hit me when it turned to kicking. I wanted so badly to groan, or even just wince, but I couldn't risk it. I bit my tongue so hard I tasted blood, or maybe that was just the blood from the cut on my lip, I wasn’t sure anymore. Somehow, I ended up off the couch and laying on the floor, my eyes stinging with tears, but I tried to keep them at bay. It killed me not to fight back. The only thing keeping me sane was not looking at Spencer, not showing him how much pain I was really in. DeLeon lifted me off the ground and tossed me against the wall, each blow holding more anger than the last. He moved the wire and the recording out of the room because it was him that was making too much noise.

“Him!” he yelled in my face. I could feel some of the spit that came with it.

“No,” I croaked, “Me.”

He threw me back on the couch, and walked back into the changing room, returning with a small dagger.

“You,” he asked, “Or him?”

“Aundreya, no,” Spencer wept. I finally looked up at him to see that his clothes were even more disheveled and he was straining against the ropes. Tears were streaming down his face, “Please, just let it be me, once, just once, please. It’s okay, you can stop, just please, stop, let it be me.”

I looked away from his broken eyes. I had to be able to keep my strong face and if I kept looking at him, I knew it wouldn’t take long for me to lose it. I shook my head, “No. Me.”

Part 2

Series Taglist

@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

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gegenji · 4 years

Text

The Misnomer of “Beast Tribes”

Forewarning: this is mostly just a little bit of a grumble about the term “Beast Tribe” and folks using it as a further way to say Lalafell are a lesser race because of it. I’m putting it all under a Read More, so feel free to skip over if you don’t want to read a bit of a ranty ramble.

So. It’s been a while now since the Dwarves were revealed to be one of the daily quest givers (Beast Tribe Quests). The majority of the situation of the First has been delved into, and now the Dwarf quests themselves are allowing people to help out these folk and get themselves a laser-tank for their efforts. And yet I still see folks saying the same thing (either as a poor joke or, perhaps worse, actually believing it) - that this means that Lalafell aren’t people, they’re beasts.

And it’s kind of disappointing, perhaps even upsetting, that this is still happening. The whole point about the “Beast Tribes” and the First is showing how much of a falsehood the term is. And even the plot of the Shadowbringers MSQ itself kind of shows that this is the wrong way of thinking.

The Mord/Kobolds and the Zun/Amal’jaa work side by side with all the other races without conflict. The Qitari/Qiqirin are still doing so on the Source, as well as having been part of the Ronkan Empire. The Ondo/Sahagin participate in trade with nations like the reformed Eulmore. The Pixies are - if I recall correctly - the spirits of young Spoken reincarnated. And the Dwarves are literally Lalafell - a Spoken race on the Source.

Even back in Stormblood, you have the Ananta and the Kojin who live side by side with everyone else without issue.

The whole concept being hammered home here is that the term “Beast Tribe” is a misnomer. Each one of these races is just as intelligent and cultured as any of the Races of Man (and Dwarves/Lalafell are of the Races of Man). The point is that the term is a derogatory and exclusionary title that is used for propaganda and the drawing of “Us vs. Them” lines in the sand - usually for self-benefit. From the Ascians using it to push the Tribes into a corner to get them to start summoning Primals, to the Races of Man using it as a Mandate from God sort of approach to encroach on their land or otherwise profit off seeing these races as “lesser.”

And I mentioned earlier that even the ShB MSQ kind of touches on this. I say that because there’s a bit of an eerie parallel here in the “these people are lesser” angle by one of the biggest players in the story: the Ascians.

Think about it. The view of the Ascians - as very clearly stated by Emet-Selch - is that they think all the current life is lesser than the Amaurotine. Inferior. And that wiping them all out to bring their kin back is completely fine. And they are the villains of this story. You can understand their motives, and maybe even be a bit sympathetic to their loss, but it’s an obvious point that considering the New Life as being lesser or unfit or whatever is a bad thing.

I mean, it’s obvious a bad thing - in game or out of it. Applying labels to people - or just highlighting their differences (ex. gender, heritage, orientation, creed, religion, and so on) - to try and demean them or lessen them is obviously a bad thing. That should go without saying. It’s just that it’s also that this is also being presented that way within the context of the game itself.

And I think that point needs to be extended to the “Beast Tribes.” We’re shown on the Source through their quests that they aren’t beastly at all, that they have their own ways and cultures. We see some that even live somewhat alongside everyone else in Ala Mhigo and the Far East. And then, in a world where the term was never used to cause division and strife and chaos? They’re perfectly integrated with all the other races.

So to think to call Lalafell as “lesser race” because the Dwarves are a “Beast Tribe” in Shadowbringers is - in my mind - completely missing the point that has been trying to be more and more obviously shown over the course of the game. All culminating in one of the actual normal races being used as a “Beast Tribe.” It could just as easily been the Viera, the Elezen, any of the other races. The point isn’t which Race of Man was used here.

It’s that the term is arbitrary, that it is exclusionary, and the there is nothing “lesser” about these races.

Lalafell aren’t a lesser race. Kobolds aren’t a lesser race. The Amal’jaa are not a lesser race. None of them are. None of them ever were.

It’s all just manipulation and propaganda, and it really needs to be seen as such.

#ffxiv #lalafell #dwarves #beast tribes #wall of text #ramble pak

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