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bad268 · 2 months

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Uh hiii, I was wondering if you could do a Colby x pregnant reader or part 2 of the one you already did, where a ghost starts to get physical with yn and Colby gets worried

If not that's ok too, no rush :)

Frank Told Us Pt. 2 (Colby Brock X Pregnant! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Sam and Colby & Co

Requested: Clearly (I LOVE THIS MATE)

Warnings: Doesnt explicitly say it but implies possible miscarriage

POV: Third Person (She/her)

W.C. 1716

Summary: Someone's unhappy, and Colby finds out exactly what he needs to protect Y/n from.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

<-Part 1

~~(^Pinterest)

“I’m gonna be a dad!”

“Yeah, Frank just told us.”

“Well, now that that’s out of the way,” Y/n laughed as she and Kat walked back into the living room where the rest of their friends were standing. She walked up to Colby before pulling him aside. He already knew what was coming, so he leaned against the wall and pulled her against him by her waist. “We need to set some ground rules. We’re already here, so we’re not leaving before the week is up.”

“But what if-” Colby tried to interject.

“I said we’re not leaving, Cole,” She snapped, putting her hand over his mouth. “I am still capable of doing the investigation for the week, so we are not leaving just because you know I’m pregnant now. Secondly, which I don’t think you will object to, but I’m not doing solo investigations. I wasn’t going to anyway, but now, I don’t need to make up an excuse for why.”

“Yeah, that one’s valid,” Colby admitted with a light laugh as he left butterfly kisses on your shoulder. “I’m not letting you out of my sight now.”

“You’re going to have to when you and Sam do the solo investigations because I can guarantee that Kat isn’t going to do them,” She laughed with him as she leaned into his body and moved her arms to rest against his shoulder. She played with the hairs at the nape of his neck as she leaned in to kiss him. She pulled away after a moment, causing Colby to chase her lips to keep kissing her. She chuckled lightly as she leaned away. “As much as I would love to stay here in your arms, I think it’s time we head back.”

“Can we just wait a second?” He chuckled as he let out a breath, hiding his face in her shoulder as an arm tightened around her waist while the other moved to rest against her stomach. “Maybe I just wanna hug my girlfriend for a minute after finding out she’s pregnant. Let me have this.”

Most of the week went smoothly. There were obviously times that scared the group, and they all had to take breaks, but honestly, for the conjuring house, they were all expecting worse. They got some good evidence, and they had very interesting conversations. Unfortunately, Frank did not come through much, but the group was able to talk with other relatives and spirits of the house.

Currently, it was day four of seven. Sam, Colby, and Y/n were all sitting in the attic, recuperating while waiting for the next special guests to arrive. Kat had to head home, but she agreed to pick up and drop off some food. Kat had texted Y/n a few minutes prior, letting her know that she was almost there, so when Y/n heard knocking coming from downstairs, she assumed it was Kat.

“Kat’s brought the food!” Y/n cheered as she jumped off the bed she was sitting on with Colby. Then, she turned to Colby and joked, “I’ll race you.”

“You’re on,” Colby smirked as he took off down the stairs with Y/n trailing just behind him. Ironically, Sam started recording on his phone, mainly just wanting to have proof of who beat who. Sam adjusted to get the perfect view of his two friends running down the stairs as they chased each other.

All of a sudden, Y/n felt a presence behind her, thinking it was Sam. That is until she felt a hand push her on her back, followed by heat. She stumbled down the last couple of steps. She immediately shrieked and grabbed onto Colby’s shoulders as she lost her footing. This almost caused Colby to lose his own footing if he was not so used to her randomly running up behind him and jumping onto his back.

“Did you trip?” He chuckled at first as he grabbed her hands to hold her securely against his back and walked down the last couple of steps. Then, with a smile on his face, he turned to face her, but his face dropped immediately as he saw her grimace. “Are you okay? Did you hurt your leg or something?”

“Y/n!” Sam yelled, still holding his phone recording, as he ran down the stairs to see Colby holding her up. “You’re not gonna believe this! There was a handprint on your shirt!”

“Wait, a handprint?!” Colby responded, just as loudly. His eyes darted from Y/n’s face to Sam multiple times before he led her to the living room. He kneeled in front of her, held her hands, and helped her breathe. “Was that before or after she fell?”

“She fell?” Sam asked, confused. He did not even notice her fall after being distracted by seeing such a clear handprint on her shirt.

“Did you not see it? She screamed!” Colby snapped as he glared at Sam for a second before returning to Y/n when she whimpered in pain.

“Can you bicker like a married couple after one of you check my back? It’s burning so bad,” Y/n said painfully as she moved to sit toward the end of the couch and leaned onto Colby’s shoulder. Sam took the lead as he set his phone to the side, forgetting to stop the recording, as he slowly and carefully lifted her shirt. Y/n hissed in pain again, and now Sam could see why. Colby watched Sam’s eyes widen in shock as he froze. “What is it?”

“Y/n, don’t freak out-” Sam started but Y/n and Colby cut him off.

“It’s too late for that!”

“Okay okay! Uh, Y/n, you have five scratch marks down your back. Like someone dug all of their nails into your back, and three of them are bleeding,” Sam explained quickly as he lightly tapped the top of the scratch near her shoulder blades and the bottom near the bottom of her ribs.

“You’re lying, Sam,” Colby said in disbelief as he gently pulled away to see for himself. “Holy shit! Y/n you need to get out of here.”

Colby did not want to waste any time, so he pulled Y/n off the couch and out to the car. Thankfully, they had a first-aid kit in the car, and Colby left one of his hoodies in the car on accident, but it came in handy now. Sam followed them out with their main filming camera, not recording yet, but ready if Y/n was okay with it.

“Y/n, am I allowed to record this?” Sam asked because consent is important and this is a traumatic thing. Sam was not going to push her boundaries.

“Yeah, sure, but where is Kat? She knocked on the door,” Y/n asked as she pulled her shirt off and turned her back to the boys, so Sam could get a shot of the damage, and Colby could help clean it.

“Kat’s not here,” Sam replied baffled. Kat had texted him just before the whole ordeal started, saying that she was stopping to pick up your favorite ice cream as a little treat and totally not bribery for godmother status. He knew she was at least 20 minutes away, so he was confused as to why Y/n thought Kat was there.

“The knocking. I thought it was Kat,” Y/n trailed off as she started thinking through the events. “What if the ghost, whoever it is, wanted to get me to go downstairs for this? What if I did not tell Colby to race? I would’ve fallen down the stairs and maybe…I don’t want to think about that.”

“Was this what Frank was talking about?” Sam suggested, turning the camera from your back to Colby, whose focus was finally broken as he placed the last bandage on her back. COlby’s eyes widened as he slowly turned to Sam. “Protect Y/n…”

“Protect me from what? What’s happening?” Y/n rapid-fired as she put on Colby’s XPLR hoodie that he left in the car. When she turned around, it looked like Sam and Colby saw a ghost. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“When we found out you were pregnant, Frank came through and told me to protect you,” Colby explained as they all sat or stood around the car. “I thought it was when you fell on the ice. That’s why I ran up to you so panicked, but I think Frank knew that some negative entity was going to hurt you. I’ll be honest, I don’t think you should stay here for the rest of the week.”

“How would Frank know that?”

“Maybe he heard something through the grapevine,” Sam proposed, “Satori and Cody said that the spirits were asking for us, so it would make sense if Frank heard something.”

“Honestly, I really don’t want you to stay here,” Colby said seriously as Kat pulled up. Sam took this as a good time to head over to her and explain everything that just happened, and it would give Y/n and Colby a chance to talk. “You could’ve gotten hurt and worse, the baby. I don’t want to risk that. I may have just found out, but I can’t risk anything happening to either of you. I promised you on our first date that I would protect you with my life, and I’m telling you, this is for the best. Please, please don’t fight me on this.”

“You say that like I’d want to go back in that house!” Y/n laughed nervously as she felt herself start crying as the emotions of the event finally caught up to her. Colby immediately wrapped his arms around her carefully as he stroked her hair to calm her down. “Colby, that spirit did not want me in that house. If I hadn’t challenged you to a race, I…Colby. I can’t even think about that. Colby, I’m not going to fight it because I need to think about them too, and honestly, I’m fine with going home or staying in a hotel for the next few days. I don’t care, I just don't want to go back in that house.”

“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. I promise.”

~~~~~

#colby brock x reader #colby x reader #colby brock #colby x y/n #colby brock imagine #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x you #sam and colby #pregnant reader #youtuber oneshot #youtube #youtuber x reader #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

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balioc · 9 months

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Thoughts on the Barbie Movie

Hoo boy. Here we go.

This is long. Spoilers abound.

The movie is not, in any normal sense, a Barbie movie (like this or this or this or whatever). It is not a story of Barbie doing the kinds of things that Barbie does in stories. It is an endlessly postmodern and self-referential movie about Barbie, which is to say, about the Barbie franchise and its role in culture. Which is, at least plausibly, an interesting thing for a movie to be.

You probably knew all that already. But it does give us a baseline of "this movie kind of had to be political and discourse-y, one way or another." Or even, to be more specific: "to some large extent this movie had to be about feminism, explicitly, if it was going to exist at all." How could you talk meaningfully about Barbie's role in culture without touching on that stuff?

The evaluative TLDR:

Barbie is very ambitious, and in many places very fun. It is also deeply confused, and fragmented, about what it's trying to say and do. Often it raises genuinely interested problems/scenarios and then totally fails to address them, or else addresses them in ways that are incoherent. The text knows that it's doing this, and on several occasions kind of apologizes for it; a couple of times it more or less looks into the camera and says "sorry, we're not going to deal with this properly;" but, well, that's not a substitute for dealing with things properly.

There is also a streak of genuine political nastiness running through the film, in a place where the story really cannot afford it. It...doesn't match up, tonally or thematically, with some of the surrounding material. I have no background at all in cinematic stratigraphy, but I would be fascinated to learn about Barbie's editorial history, because I have the vague sense that a more-cogent (and more-interesting) story got hacked apart and then Frankensteined together into something much cheaper and worse.

III

The opening sequence of the movie is wild. You've seen most of it -- or you can, if you haven't, and you want to -- because it is the film's first teaser trailer. Girls are playing listlessly with baby dolls; a giant Barbie appears like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey; and then the girls enter a frenzy of destruction, bashing their baby dolls' heads against the ground.

I don't know whether I would have found it as disturbing as I did, if I didn't actually have a baby of my own. But speaking from the standpoint of a parent...yeah, wow, it's more viscerally horrific than most actual horror I've seen recently. The narration says some stuff about Barbie providing a new and more rewarding set of imagination games to play, but the visuals by themselves tell a message loud and clear, which is: Barbie will turn your daughters into infanticidal maenads. It wouldn't need any editing at all to be part of a shock-you-silly Reefer-Madness-y moral panic film.

Which is really good! And really interesting! It starts us off on an undeniable thematic note: there is something primal and powerful and very dangerous about Barbie.

The very best part of the movie is probably the part that comes right after the opening, when we explore the movie's depiction of "Barbieland" by going through Barbie's Typical Day, before we get into any of the notional plot or metaphysics. It's joyful and charming in a consistent way. The gags are (mostly) great. The movie is in love with its base premise, and that love is palpable.

This sequence makes one thing very clear:

Barbie treats Ken like absolute dogshit. She is a bad girlfriend.

And it's taken seriously. I mean, it's played for laughs, almost everything in this movie is played for laughs, but...it's not mean-spirited, not here. It's not, like, "ha ha, Ken, what a contemptible loser." He's Pierrot, asking for very basic forms of affection and attention and respect, and getting the door slammed in his face over and over. It's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

That colors everything that comes later.

The movie doesn't forget this, or fail to acknowledge it. At the end, after everything, Barbie does apologize to Ken for her treatment of him. It's a halfhearted and supremely unsatisfying kind of apology, especially in context, but...it's there, in so many words! I'm not making it up! This thematic foundation was laid down, not-very-subtly, right at the beginning!

This movie, which is at least trying to be ambitious, is juggling a million themes. Many of them are dumb at their core, and have no real promise; many of them lack any kind of narrative synergy with the others. But there are at least two which, I believe, (a) are genuinely worthwhile individually and (b) work well together in a story.

One is: What does it mean to be a symbol rather than a person? To exist, not for your own sake, but for the sake of influencing the dreams and culture of entities that you don't know and can't really understand?

The other is: What is the proper ordering of the relationship between Barbie and Ken?

I've seen a number of Takes in which people say, essentially: Couldn't this have ended with the Barbies and the Kens just being decent to each other and treating each other like humans? Couldn't there have been equality and mutual respect, instead of the weird uncomfortable girlboss-supremacist stuff that we got? And I sympathize with that impulse tremendously, but the honest answer has to be: No. We cannot have simple equality and esteem between Barbie and Ken, not in a movie like this. That would be a lie. Because this is a movie about Barbie-as-symbol, and when you're looking at Barbie through that lens, it is true and unavoidable that Ken is an appendage and an afterthought. You can have toys for boys; you can have dolls for boys (even if you call them "action figures" or whatever); for that matter, you can have dolls of boys for girls, so that girls can tell stories centering on male characters; but that's not what Ken is, and never has been. There are no Ken stories, and no one particularly wants them. Ken exists to be Barbie's boyfriend.

(One of the most painful moments of the movie comes during the resolution wrapup. Ken wails to Barbie that he has no identity outside her. She says, basically, "you have to find one, because I'm leaving you." And he...acts like he's had an epiphany, and does a little silly celebration. But his "insight" is just literally "I'm Ken," there's absolutely nothing there, and of course it's the most hollow and awful thing in the world because he really does have no identity outside her.)

The movie's metaphysics are not even slightly consistent. The nature of Barbieland, and the ways that it affects and is affected by the real world, are completely different in every scene. In large part because the film can't ever pass up a gag, whether or not it's funny, no matter how much damage it does to the narrative and the theming overall.

The worst part is that the movie is not capable of saying anything remotely coherent about the real world, because its version of the "real world" is as weird and fake as its Barbieland. Will Ferrell's CEO of Mattel character is more of an absurd cartoon than any of the Barbies or Kens. Mattel HQ is some kind of surreal labyrinth tower out of The Matrix. A random receptionist can handle herself like James Bond in a car chase, for reasons that are [handwaved in a gag].

VII

So. Yes. There is the sequence in the third act where Ken takes over Barbieland with the power of patriarchy. This is pretty much as bad as it can be. And I say this as someone who thinks that the movie probably did actually need a plot thread doing roughly that kind of thing.

Almost as bad as it can be. The wannabe-patriarch Kens are gleefully goofy in a way that you can't help but love, or at least, I couldn't help but love it. Which has something to do with the writing and something to do with the charisma of all the Ken actors. The main Ken, Ryan Gosling's Ken, really seems to believe that being a successful patriarch has a lot to do with riding majestic horses and wearing a giant fur coat without a shirt, and when he takes over Barbie's Dream House he names it Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House -- that kind of thing.

But. Apart from that, it's real unfortunate. The justification for Ken's ability to conquer Barbieland with patriarchy, instantly and effortlessly, is -- in almost so many words -- they had no defenses against it, it was like the American Indians encountering smallpox. I...don't think I need to spell out the problems with that.

Worse yet, the whole sequence is soaked in, uh, let's call it "2014-era upper-middle-class social-status-oriented feminism." The real bad behavior on the part of the Kens, the stuff they do when they're not being adorably weird, is: mansplaining their extensive opinions about cars and movies, and wanting to show off how helpful and knowledgeable they are to "damsels" who are having trouble using machines or computers. Apparently that's the real problem at hand, the causus belli of the gender wars. The way that you deprogram a patriarchy-brainwashed Barbie is by...ranting to her about the stereotypical social irritations of upper-middle-class women (e.g. "you have to keep yourself thin but not act like you care about being thin," "you have to be a confident leader but also be nurturing and supportive," etc.) [note that the Barbies of Barbieland have never encountered these irritations, at least not at the hands of men]. And the girlboss victory montage consists of having the Barbies put on deceptive manipulative bimbo acts to stroke the Kens' egos, which sure is one way to depict girlboss feminist victory.

But the most unforgivable thing of all is the depiction of the patriarchy-brainwashed Barbies. They're lad-magazine caricatures, endlessly offering their Kens "brewski beers," dressing up as French maids, gazing on in cow-eyed adoration as their Kens mansplain stuff to them.

Barbie does, in fact, have a problematic history with the patriarchy. And it does not look like that.

VIII

@brazenautomaton:

Barbie isn’t someone who had to fight through the patriarchy to be seen as good enough to be an astronaut even though she’s a woman. Barbie’s a fucking astronaut because she’s fucking Barbie of course she’s good enough to be an astronaut.

That is...one aspect of the deep Barbie lore. It is the Barbie-nature that Mattel was trying to push, as far back as my own childhood; it's certainly the Barbie-nature that Mattel is trying to push in this movie. But there is another side to Barbie, even older and even more fundamental than Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie, and you can't make a postmodern movie-about-Barbie without addressing it.

This is Barbie the fashion doll. The Barbie who is an icon of ultra-consumerist teenage girlhood, whose life is defined by her fancy clothes and her fancy car. The Barbie whose most salient traits are her hourglass figure and her long blonde hair and her feet that are always posed to fit into high heels. The Barbie of "math class is tough!" The Barbie who is kinda vapid and shallow and, yes, boy-crazy.

How can you tell a story about Barbie wrestling with the culture of patriarchy, and not talk about that? How can you depict Barbie falling victim to the patriarchy and have it look nothing like that?

...the movie does bring up the specter of Vapid Consumerist Barbie, briefly. When Margot Robbie's Barbie first comes to the real world and meets with the sullen teenage daughter character, she has a litany of That Thing thrown in her face, and it makes her sad. But nothing is ever done with it, and it goes nowhere.

And it could all have fit together so well. That's the hell of it.

You can imagine the version of the story in which Ken conquers Barbieland with patriarchy, because the Barbies are actually vulnerable to patriarchal narratives, because Vapid Consumerist Barbie is the chthonic serpent that gnaws at the foundations of Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie civilization. He successfully makes them all forget that they're senators and astronauts and veterinarians, and turns them into airheaded teenage fashionistas who think that math class is tough.

And this avails him, and the other Kens, nothing. Even within the "patriarchal" version of Barbieland, Ken is still an afterthought and an appendage. He still gets treated like dogshit, just in a different idiom.

Because the thing that has always been true of Barbie, though every age and every phase of her mythos, is: she is the main character of her own story.

This is what the movie was telling us all the way back in the horrific 2001-pastiche prologue, right? Even when Barbie was just a swimsuit model, the point was that she let girls tell stories about themselves (or idealized/aspirational versions of themselves), not about boys or babies. That is a truer, and more powerful, feminist message about the meaning of Barbie than any message the movie actually bothers conveying.

The gag scene practically writes itself: the brainwashed Barbies are sitting around in a giggly slumber-party huddle talking about how dreamy Ken is, and actual Ken cannot get a word in edgewise, he can't even get them to notice he's there, because even Vapid Consumerist Barbie is fundamentally centered in her own life. Her narrative is not about a boy, it's about the experience of being a girl (mostly engaging with other girls) who likes thinking and talking about boys. Which is very much beside the point, if you started out with the complaint that your girlfriend never paid any attention to you.

Patriarchy hurts men too, indeed.

The movie ends, as I've intimated, in a disappointing squidge of thematic confusion. Barbie announces that she never really loved Ken, and leaves him, because...well, because these days the smart-set target audience is allergic to romantic narratives that Produce the Couple, as far as I can tell. Then she goes to the real world and becomes a real girl, a move that means nothing and is nonsensical even by the standards of the Barbie metaphysics, because the storytellers don't know how to end her arc and Becoming a Real Girl is the sort of thing that feels like a meaningful conclusion.

The Kens...sigh...the Kens ask for equal rights in Barbieland, more or less, and get told, "nah, but we'll throw you some bones." And they're happy with this, more or less, because they're dumb and don't really care. The narrator says, approximately, "maybe someday they'll make as much progress as women have in the real world." Haw haw.

It's probably too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something substantive about responsibility and kindness in relationships. It's almost certainly too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something about the nature of love symbols and love narratives. But all the pieces really were there, laid out very conspicuously. The movie could have wrapped up with: Ken doesn't need to be more important than Barbie, he doesn't even need to be as important as Barbie, he just needs to be treated with human decency. And if little girls are going to play with Barbies, and fantasize about having cute guys hanging all over them -- maybe they should have functional models of romance and human connection in which to root their fantasies, and not terrible ones.

#media analysis #barbie

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buckyysdoll · 4 months

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— crazed; post-outbreak! j.m x curvy! fem!reader — 18+ MDNI

MAIN MASTERLIST

જ⁀➴ joel knows he shouldn’t feel the way he does for you, but fuck if it doesn’t feel good; cw: allusion to dark! mean! joel 😫 -> he’s sort of a perv but we love him <3, size kink w/ hands but reader is explicitly curvy/plus size !!, implied daddy kink, age gap (legal!! joel is 56, reader’s in her 20s 🫣), explicit sexual detail !! -> p in v sex, oral (m!rec); might turn this into an actual story/series??

❧ Imagine …

Joel Miller not being able to take his eyes off you when you’re out ranging beyond the QZ. He feels wrong for it, knows that he shouldn’t — goddamn it he’s old enough to be your fucking dad. But when you’re standing like that, so oblivious to him watching you? That’s getting harder to remember.

Cos fuck, the way your shirt stretches tight across the strain of your chest almost buckles his knees; the swell of your hips leaves nothing at all to his already over-active imagination.

Every step you take, with your plush, curvy ass sculpted by the close fit of your trousers sends his mind reeling, thoughts of just bending you over right here and right now — fuck, he needs to goddamn focus.

You, with your soft, supple body is the worst possible kind of distraction, he knows; it’s a unique form of torture to watch you speak to those men like it’s not him alone that can do it.

Him alone that should be able to just take you to the floor of this goddamn forest, with them all watching. He’d make it plain enough that though yes, they can look, no one else can ever have the right to touch.

Maybe it’s just been too long; God knows it’s been a while since he’s had a good fuck. Even crouching there now, firewood in his rough broad hands that should be on you instead, he can feel his own hardness tight against the seam of his jeans where the zipper rests, so firm and aching.

Goddamn it hurts enough to set his teeth to gritting against these sick thoughts of you. But he can’t help it.

And even worse, the voice in his head that wants to is getting more quiet by the minute; overruled just by the sight of you like that, bending and rising again with your own armload of freshly cut wood.

Your hair, resting just by your shoulders in length — how soft it would feel in his hands. How good, how right it would be to have it fisted so tight, your back arched, ass up to him.

The hands from which you so absentmindedly pick splinters while you work are so small by his own; and goddamn it, the thought of them wrapped round his cock, your pretty mouth put to good use just for once — made him crazed.

Joel was fucking losing his mind.

The thoughts came from somewhere primal in him; a part he used to fight hard to shut down. Now though, it was only that darkness that had him surviving each goddamn day, and it spoke in whispers insidious taunts like Mine. She’s all fucking mine.

Cos Lord, what he would’ve given to have you laid out there beneath him. Wrists held and bound by his strength. To be inside you, thoughts of nothing but the rush of your heat, your pussy clenching around him. Your slick.

To finally feel you, so so soft, groaning into your skin with each scratch down his back.

He knew precisely how good it would feel to finally mark you as his, to take all that you’d give him. To show you how it felt to be needed and hated at once, by the same ruined man.

But it wasn’t just that you’re half his age, it’s that you’re — plainly — you. The girl, the woman that grates on his mind just because he wants you so fucking badly. Since you met, you’d done nothing but run your mouth off and make it hard for Joel to just do his job; him, with his fucked moral compass and you with your goddamn sweet, untainted heart.

Was it so wrong, though, to want to show you just how sweet a little darkness could taste? To want to corrupt you, just a little, just enough, and show his good girl how it felt to be bad?

The blood in his veins felt all too hot, like the rush he got from killing — or sex. His jaw was clenched hard enough to crack his own teeth but he was in control; had to be, around you.

He had to just focus on the job, one foot and then the other, and again. And again. The methodological comfort of routine and practiced steps.

And fight every instinct in his body begging him just to take you, consequences be damned.

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drafthorsemath · 10 months

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Crosshair’s Redemption

I posted this here in response to an earlier post, but also thought this should just live on its own on my blog, so apologies if you’ve seen it twice. Essentially, here are some thoughts about whether Crosshair should be held accountable for his actions with the Empire. Spoilers for The Bad Batch Season 2.

I’ll start by saying that Crosshair is already holding himself accountable, even if he’s not calling it that. When people say they want redemption for Crosshair, often, from what I’ve seen, they either implicitly or explicitly want him specifically to suffer in some way and many don’t seem to realize that he is already suffering. They seem to think he deserves that suffering and then some. In some cases, they flat out want him dead and think that is the only way for him to “pay” and be redeemed. I won’t even pretend I’m not projecting when I say that as a cult survivor, that hurts me to my core because I relate to him so much and I suppose I’m at the point in all this when I can talk more about what it’s like to be in a cult and why people do what they do. (If you want to hear what it’s like growing up in a doomsday cult, I’ve been interviewed for two podcasts and can direct you there and my DMs are open.)

No, I didn’t murder anyone, so you might think Crosshair has done worse than I have. I’m not here to argue about that, but in some ways I think helping to destroy someone’s life or sense of self without killing them can be just as bad, no? I definitely hurt people, even if I didn’t kill them. I hurt them deeply, just as I was hurt, but is that an excuse? No. But also, I was under the influence of many layers of authority in my cult. Did they put a gun to my head and “make” me do hurtful things? No, but they also constructed the situation so that it very much felt like life or death. I did what I had to do to survive. Does that mean I’m not accountable? Also no. Amazingly, it’s complicated. I’ve certainly paid for my time in the cult even though I was born into it. No one else showed up and passed down a punishment, but figuring out how to grieve, make right, help others, and build a life while thoroughly traumatized was pretty damn punishing.

How is my survival in a cult any different than Crosshair trying to survive? Different than Crosshair telling Hunter there is a place for all of them in the Empire? Any different than Crosshair saying he made his choice and the clones that matter will be just fine? Crosshair may try to play it cool and seem unaffected, but this man is doing what he feels he needs to do in order to survive in circumstances that are not of his choosing.

I think by The Outpost it becomes very clear that Crosshair is changing, even though we see glimpses earlier. He was literally pushed to the point where he thought his life would end for killing Nolan. You can argue that he didn’t know for sure if his life would be over, but when he killed that asshole, he could have been shot where he was and he knew it. He knew by that point that the Empire did not care about him at all and he still pulled the trigger.

Crosshair started holding himself accountable the moment he started making different decisions. The moment he went from playing along to survive to actively going against the Empire was when he started holding himself accountable.

We should also talk about the chip that was (is?) in his head. He was very much being controlled at least at the beginning of season 1. We know that the clones acted the way they did during Order 66 because of the chips. Should he still be held responsible for what he did under the influence of the chip? Then what about Cody and Bly and Wolffe and every other clone who killed or tried to kill the Jedi? Like where do we draw the line? Is it even our job to draw the line? Is it the job of the Rebellion to draw the line? I don’t think it is. I think it’s fine for the Rebellion to say, “if you don’t see what you did as a problem, then we don’t want to work with you,” but I don’t think they should get a firing squad or pass down a punishment. In Rebels, did the Rebellion not want to work with Rex, Gregor, or Wolffe? Kanan had feelings about it, sure, but ultimately no one made them atone for being clones under the influence of a chip.

It’s always interesting to me that people talk about Crosshair atoning, but not Vader or Sidious or Kylo Ren or any number of lower level cult leaders like Rampart. Maybe it’s because we already know what will happen to Vader, Kylo, and Sidious. Maybe it’s because they die and we figure that has to cover all their transgressions, but we don’t know how Crosshair’s story will end and people want to make sure there’s some “justice.”

Throughout season 2, although there’s not a ton of Crosshair shown, we see he’s really miserable. He’s not sleeping, he’s not eating, he was left on the platform for 32 rotations. He looks like hell and he feels like hell. He is so expressive and it’s clear he’s miserable by the look on his face. Isn’t he already paying for his bounded choice? Being in a cult is already awful, it’s really traumatizing, but people seem to love to pile on more guilt and then blame cult members like if they just weren’t so stupid none of this would have happened. Ultimately, the only people in cults who are irredeemable are the upper cult leaders. Sidious does not care about anyone but himself. He can’t be redeemed. Everyone else though? There’s hope for them. Don’t we want a better world where people can learn from their mistakes and help others? Where growing and bettering oneself is an ongoing process that lasts a life time? How many awful things need to happen to Crosshair before people will say “okay you ticked enough boxes, I forgive you now”? He is a complicated man, but he has empathy and he loves and cares for his family. Again this doesn’t mean he gets off without paying for what he’s done, but also, he’s already paying for his choices by living in a version of hell. Being in a cult is terrible and soul-crushing for everyone but the top cult leader.

I also would be remiss if I didn’t mention how Crosshair spent the end of season 2 strapped to a table, able to fight drugs in his system to get far enough to warn his siblings that the Empire is after Omega. While the full message didn’t get out, he did his utmost to warn them. He didn’t try to run for himself. He tried to save his family. If that isn’t Crosshair trying to do better and holding himself accountable then I don’t know what is.

Ultimately, I think when people want someone to hold Crosshair accountable, they are missing a part of his humanity and they assume he must want all that has happened. It’s like they think someone must dish out justice because surely he doesn’t realize how badly he screwed up, but Crosshair knows he messed up and now he has to reckon with it. Assigning the Rebellion or some person or group the job of holding him accountable only furthers the us versus them that cults instill into their members. It will only push him away further. Do you want to know what happened between me and the people who felt I needed to be held accountable for my time in a cult (that I was born into, just like the clones)? I never spoke to them again and I had one less person offering support as I tried to build some semblance of a life. The few threads of connection that I had were ultimately severed because they felt I hadn’t gone through enough.

Let Crosshair go on this journey. Let him try to do what is right, because he’s well on his way. Let him grieve for all that has happened and all he’s done. Because I promise, he’s grieving. He’s lonely and guilting himself to his core. It’s written all over his face.

#tbb crosshair #the bad batch #crosshair #tbb #tbb meta #the empire is a cult #when i don't know whether to post something on its own or reply with it so i do both i guess #the bad batch crosshair #cw cult mention #cw cult #cw cult recovery

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twig-tea · 7 months

Text

Only Friends Ep7 Random Things I Haven't Already Spewed in the Tags Somewhere

God every line of dialogue this episode makes me want to write an essay.

This is the episode that's going to kill all of the mastermind theories and I'm so grateful. Everyone is just messy and young, not a genius or a villain, thank goodness that's now clear. Though I'm a little sad Boston didn't torture Nick by having more sex with the bug still present before confronting him about it (even though I agree this would have been worse writing).

Kudos to Nick for not outing Sand as the thief even though he was pressured and knew he was losing Boston. I respect it.

I was waiting this whole episode for Mew to confront Boston about him using the footage he took of Mew and Ray kissing to manipulate Top, but he never let on to Boston that he knew about that detail from Top. I was especially thinking about this during the scene where Mew threatens Boston with the Boston/Gap sex tape. I feel like some of those complicated expressions on Neo's face are about Boston thinking about that detail and whether Mew knew. It also says something to me about how much Mew is thinking about Top in this revenge moment (read: not at all). I wonder if it will come up later.

I also wanted to add that this was a brilliant way for Mew to make Boston feel regret (because it was clear he felt no remorse on his own). Mew got to feel morally superior AND instill real fear of consequences in Boston, it really was the perfect revenge.

I'm so interested in what Nick's thinking was re: giving the info about Boston's weakness to Mew. Did he want Boston more isolated from his friends? Was he actually compelled by Mew's argument even though we know he already said he didn't actually want to hurt Boston? [Ok I did already ramble in tags about this one but frfr I wanna knowwww]

Speaking of, it's interesting that Boston felt safe enough to tell Nick those details and not his best friends. Admittedly Nick was a bit right-place-right-time but Boston gave him an explanation, and now we know Mew hadn't heard about this previously.

I'm with @shortpplfedup and @lurkingshan on the Top cares more about Top than he cares about Mew train. I do think Top has some feelings, and they're associated with Mew, and I think they're mostly tied to Top's sense of self and how he wants to change and has told himself Mew is a critical part of making that change work (and making it worthwhile). His own sense of self got in the way of that change initially (which is why he did something Mew would not like at the first sign of maybe being lied to), and this loss seems to have helped him overcome that part of his ego, but we'll see.

Was thinking about the ephemerality squad as we watched Mew burn the physical representation of his time with Top, but only part of it.

Mew is careful and calculating, but he's not perfect and now he's doubting himself. After having scripted his first romance and having had it crash and burn despite his best efforts, second-guessing himself about Ray and being willing to give it a try even though he is sure it's a bad idea is.... painfully real. I didn't think RayMew would happen because Mew seemed so sure, but of course Mew would be doubting himself and his previous convictions now.

Mew really turned to Ray and said "I know we're not a good fit but maybe this is what I'm supposed to do" and Ray went for it because of course he did. Feels like that part of the script is explicitly calling out romantic tropes vs real life and how applying the logic of a romance narrative to reality just leads to heartbreak. I hope this keeps up, because YES. [Also @slayerkitty; is this what Jojo is doing re: dropping the narrative frameworks? Eps 1-5 people were telling themselves stories about how this was going to go and eps 6-7 have so far been realistic consequences. I'm now wondering if there's something there about applying dramatic tropes to the real world and how it doesn't work, actually?)]

Also just have to say, Drake's horny confident impersonal energy was perfect.

I have a whole other post about Cheum I've been drafting since last week and keep getting distracted from, but just to put this out there now: Mew was drowning Boston in that pool and girl you just stood to the side and watched (so did Ray, but he had a fractured arm so I'm giving him a pass).

No Yo at all in this episode; possibly another point in my corner about her being the representation of permanence (at least for this group), since everything was either under threat or had already imploded this episode.

Lastly, I keep thinking about what Ray's dad offered Sand, whether Sand took it, and what it would mean either way. It's absolutely bullshit, actually, that Sand not get paid for spending time with Ray considering how much money he is literally losing by spending time with Ray (this episode mentioned it explicitly: by staying to chill in the tub, he was missing out on plum wine $$). At the same time, Sand losing his other jobs to rely on money from Ray or his father is a recipe for disaster, because Ray is unreliable as a consistent source of income (please see his love of Mew). I understand not wanting to be misunderstood or influenced by money and so leaving it out of the situation, but it's in the situation anyway because Sand has debts and a lot of jobs and not a lot of time. I hate how much money has morality tied to it as much as I hate how sex has morality tied to it. It's not romantic to ruin your life for someone who won't even notice that's what you're doing (because Ray could never understand how Sand not working as hard for a week could absolutely mean Sand can't eat or pay rent--especially if Nick moved out--or pay school fees or his debts). Leaving money out of the calculation of a relationship is a privilege of the middle+ class. [@neuroticbookworm we're really going to have to have that noodling session because now you've got me fired up about this lol].

[this really only barebones touches on ephemerality but since I was thinking about y'all: @ranchthoughts @slayerkitty @wen-kexing-apologist @neuroticbookworm @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @distant-screaming @chickenstrangers @clara-maybe-ontheroad ]

#only friends the series #only friends meta #only friends #ofts meta #ofts #ephemerality squad #also how did this get long?#ugh #long post

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agattthaa · 7 months

Text

Gone

Pairings: Tyril Starfury/F!Human MC

Word count: 1.566

Warnings: There's a fight between the group and Mal and Nia could be read as a couple, but also can be read as just friends too

Gone. Simply gone.

One second the love of his life was there, in the next one a woman pulled her inside a portal and then, she was gone.

And he didn't know what to do.

None of them actually did.

Mal and Nia decided to get up. To try to make things better. To change things for the better.

It would be what Rain would have wanted. Mal had said.

It will be the best way to honor her. Nia agreed.

Tyril knew that they were right. That the Raine that he loved would take great pride in her friends choosing to protect people, to save children just like herself and her brother, to give them a home full of love and care, a ceiling over their heads and food to keep their tummy full. To save them, just as she had been saved.

But it deeply bothered him.

The way that they talked like his soul was already gone and buried and that they accepted it and they just had to move on with their lives now.

And f it made him bothered and upset, it made Imtura outraged.

A tear ran down her face, she started screaming, exclaiming that they were all abandoning Raine, that she was still alive and their acceptance of this cruel situation was what would kill Raine, and not the woman that kidnaped her.

And that was when the true chaos began.

Tears started to run down Nia's face and Mal slammed his fist on the table.

-Now you have passed all the limits, princess. It's been four months, Imtura. And we're as close to finding her as we were on the first day. It's important to know when you lost. And we did, there's nothing we can do.

To that, Imtura didn't say anything. Instead, she wiped her tears, got up, grabbed her ax that was placed beside the fireplace and walked towards the door, opening it and stopping on her tracks.

-She would've searched for any of us for at least four decades.

And then, she left.

-Don't you think that I know that? The rogue sighed, pulling Nia closer so she could cry on his shoulder.

Nia had stopped crying already when Tyril left. She had been the most determined to find Raine in the first three months, but every failed attempt to find her made Nia worse.

Tyril knew that she felt guilty, for when she was kidnapped Raine got into that portal and saved her. She saved all of them. In different ways, but it was a fact.

Nia's light shined brighter when Mal told her the dream of having an orphanage. After that, they became closer, happier.

And now, Imtura was also gone. On her own accord but she was nonetheless. And there was nothing to help him find her on Whitetower.

For he would not stop.

He wouldn't stop.

Not now.

Not ever.

He would keep searching for her. The next day, and the day after that and the day after that. Not even death would stop him, for her soul was forever tied to his.

So, he went back home.

Not because he missed home. Well, not only for that, but it was more probable that Undermonth and the elves could at least give him a hint.

So that's what he did. He searched for that hint. He asked around the elderly elves, whom he once believed had all the answers that one could need. He searched the libraries. He went down the catacombs again and even found Lady Starfury again. When he explained the situation, she gave him a sad smile, her light growing weaker.

-If there was ever a human capable of returning from that, it was that one. Believe her, son of my blood.

And then, she was also gone, as was almost everyone recently.

When his heart had spent eight months broken and cold, he received a letter from Nia and Mal. They had already rescued nine children and they had a small home on the outskirts of town. Nothing like Undermouth, and he was sure that that part was written by Mal, but they were happy and safe and okay and at the end of the day it was all that mattered.

They had also sent the address, not explicitly calling him back, but letting him know that he was welcome if he wanted to be back.

But he didn't.

His friends would always hold a small piece of his heart, but things were different now. Imtura left. He never received any letter from her nor was she mentioned on the one that Mal and Nia sent. The other two were living together and raising their children. Tyril could not just show up and get in the way of their found happiness.

For happiness was not a thing that he had felt ever since the second his heart was ripped away from his chest and taken elsewhere.

For he never met happiness before he met her and he could not feel it without her.

It would've been too cruel of him to bring his excruciating pain into a house that was full of love.

So he didn't.

And he didn't feel bad for it, because he knew it was the right choice. But he felt guilty about Kade. He felt horrible about Kade.

He had abandoned him, the only family of the woman he loved.

They had just met him when Raine was taken away. So Kade closed himself, never letting any of them get too close, too wounded to allow that to happen.

At least he let the Nespers get close. And for that, Tyril would forever be thankful.

Tyril sent at least a letter monthly to him though, asking how he was, how was life in the palace and offering him a place on Undermonth.

Offer that the boy always refused, telling Tyril that he was fine and that he hoped he was too. And that was it. Nothing more, nothing less.

It still haunted his thoughts when he laid in bed at night. The bed that was once theirs, the bed that once carried her scent, but now it was also gone.

He let his tears roll down as he reached for her, touching the side where she always was, on the side she was supposed to forever be. But she was gone when he closed his eyes and she was still gone when he opened them.

'Come back to me, Raine' he begged daily. When he fell asleep, when he woke up, when he risked climbing mountains, when he went down the earth, when he fought vicious beasts, all in the vain thought of doing everything, anything to get her back.

This time, he foolishly had gotten himself into a fight with a Fluria by trying to get inside her nest.

A dumb decision, really, for the nest was filled with small Flurias and of a very angry mother, capable of doing anything to protect her children. And protect her children she did, throwing Tyril as far away as she could with her own body, but his body didn’t hit a forest floor.

It hitted a marble one, covered in a soft tapestry.

One that he knew very well. For it was their bedroom on Whitetower.

And there she was, looking at him with that same smile, as if only a day had passed since they last seen each other.

The Fluria had stayed behind. The portal closing too quickly for the monster to follow him.

And Raine, his Raine, looked at him with that sickling sweet smile, as if he was the most important to her, as if he held her heart in his hands. Just like she held his.

She extended her hand towards him, making his eyes leave her face to look at her hand.

He couldn’t touch it. He couldn’t touch her. It was only a dream. It had to be.

For the gods had a sick twisted game of giving him happiness and then ripping it apart right in front of his eyes. He lost Kaya, he lost Raine, he lost his friends. He couldn’t bear to lose her again. He would not survive it. But when he didn’t touch her, she let her hand get even closer to him, giving that smirk that was so usual of her when she would say something to embarrass him that he almost believed that she was really real.

-Come one, Tyril. Will you stay the whole night on the floor? I wanna take a look at this new style. So far, 10/10, very hot, would do.

He laughed.

For the first time in one year, he laughed.

When he touched her hand and got up, she did not disappear. Nor she did when he kissed her. His heavy tears almost burning their skins. But she didn’t complain. She only held him closer and closer, as if she knew he was afraid she would vanish again. As if she knew his heart.

She probably did. It was hers and hers only, so how could she not know it?

That night, when he laid to sleep, Raine was there and she was still there when he woke up, curled up on him. Still asleep and still with that beautiful smile on her face.

And now Tyril knew what was happiness again.

#choices stories you play #blades of light and shadow #tyril starfury #choices bolas #tyril x mc

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mwolf0epsilon · 6 months

Text

The Umbaran Pathogen - Day 17: Hypothermia

Summary: Fives, Kix and Rex arrive at the medical facility first, which doesn't help them all that much considering they have no idea what they are looking for.

Warning: N/A

Prev / Next

[In which the events on Umbara are worsened by an unknown pathogen taking hold of both the 501st and 212th. These series of drabbles will follow a non-linear timeline based on the AI-less Whumptober prompt list for 2023.]

THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3

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"It's freezing in here..." Rex hissed between chattering teeth, immediately regretting having taken off his bucket as soon as they entered the Umbaran medical facility.

The Captain was right too. The quick preliminary scans that Fives had done upon the trio sneaking in, revealed that the entire building was at almost sub-zero levels of cold. For what reason, he couldn't be sure, but it probably had something to do about storing bacterial culture samples or whatever the hell it was that natborn doctors did with the stuff they collected off their patients during tests.

He had already lived through a lifetime of medical tests performed by plenty of Long-Necks and Droids, that didn't particularly care about his or his vode's comfort during said procedures. He didn't really need to know what the nattie docs got up to outside of the war efforts.

"Put your helmet back on." Kix ordered as he uneasily looked around the hall they'd ended up in, after climbing out of the dusty ventilation system. "Your armor's thermal regulation system should keep you from freezing your shebs off."

"Tell me something I don't know..." The blond grumbled as he put his bucket back on, sighing in relief as the bitter cold was chased away in mere instants. "Much better... But moving on, we need to find a floor plan for this place..."

A wise idea, as they couldn't waste time running around blindly. If they got their hands on a map of the facility's various floors, they'd be able to find what they were looking for much faster, rather than risk getting lost in a maze of recovery areas, operation theaters, or even storage closets.

There was no telling how long they'd have before General Kenobi and the 212th could no longer stall for them, and with no word from Coric's group things were starting to look a little grim.

Getting to the facility itself had been a struggle. Between hiding from the Umbaran scouting parties, avoiding the aggressive wildlife, and keeping an eye out for the infected, the journey had been a constant uphill battle where they couldn't even resort to using their blasters. Unwilling to bring unwanted attention to their positions.

Given that they hadn't encountered the other medics, they assumed the others were struggling just as terribly. If not worse. They had no idea if they'd escaped from the base unscathed. For all they knew, Coric, Pitch, Twitch and Sponge had already been caught. Or worse...

And with only a vague idea that they needed to access a database to seek out some critical (but not very explicitly elaborated upon) information, the trio really wasn't all that prepared for this sort of excursion.

One medic would definitely not be enough, should they find a cure. That much they figured, considering the number of infected troopers in the 501st alone. Kix wouldn't be able to tackle the issue on his own.

"You think the others are ok?" Fives asked as he looked around, somewhat unsure if the way they'd chosen to go first would get them anywhere of use. He was walking slowly, steps as light as the bulk of his armor would allow, keeping an ear out for trouble.

"They're tough." Rex nodded slowly. Trying to be optimistic, considering he knew how frighteningly stubborn the medics could be, but still coming off as somewhat unsure in the end. The circumstances weren't easy ones after all. "They're probably just being careful, like we were..."

"Yeah... Yeah probably." The ARC nodded back, before motioning for the other two to stop near a corner where the hallway turned. He had a very quick look, and then gave them the all clear. Moving just a bit quicker now that he had a goal in sight.

Down the hall was a flight of emergency stairs. Besides it, attached to the wall as per standard safety regulations, was the digital emergency floor plan. The three rushed forward to have a look, barely containing their elation as they realized the interactive floor plan had pages that displayed the other floor layouts.

Thumbing through the available information, they saw exactly what they were looking for. The main datahub, which would contain all kinds of data-banks stock full of useful medical information.

"Basement floor." Fives groaned. "Of course the dang thing is in the creepy basement..."

"Not so much creepy, as probably absolutely frozen over..." Kix shook his head in disbelief. Sounding somewhat put-off at the possibility of facing even lower temperatures. "The entire basement of this huge building is dedicated to computers and the server banks. The amount of heat generated would need to be mitigated by considerably frigid mini-climate..."

"Kix, it's already pretty cold out here. I doubt the basement will be much worse..." Rex pointed out. "That said, if it IS worse, we should be as quick as possible. Even if our armor will protect us from the bitter cold, it won't do us any good if we stall and end up overworking the thermo regulation system. We'd freeze on the spot."

"Wouldn't want a case of frostbitten tootsies." Fives nodded, sounding morbidly amused at the idea. "Or hypothermia."

"If there ever was a place to catch your death, I suppose a hospital isn't the worst of options..." The medic responded with his own amusement.

They carried on, hoping their fellow troopers would meet with them soon. They could really use some help looking for the correct data at least... Hopefully the cause for their delay was indeed caution.

#Eps Writes #star wars #the clone wars #whumptober #Umbaran Pathogen AU #arc trooper fives #clone medic kix #captain rex

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beehindblueeyes · 2 years

Text

Parts of the game-

This sort of goes along with my, grabber hates Finney post? If only because finney does not react in the desired way- at least when the grabber is around. But I wanted to highlight a few of their interactions because it is SO chilling and just… uncomfortable and, well flat out interesting. (Interesting in the “true crime” way of how a person can actually do this and act like this sort).

Tw-

Referenced canonical CSA

Manipulation tactics

Predatory behavior

You wanna soda?

Something about the cheery, whispered , voice. He’s trying to be disarming. This is him being nice! After all he was just joking about the whole…snap your neck thing… This Al is interesting. When the scene starts I can see bare glimpses of short story Al. Blunt, a bit rude, constantly finding the whole thing funny etc. This isn’t helped by the fact a majority of the grabbers lines are line for line from the book. What really gets to me though, is once his cheerful act sets in… and he fully knows finney is practically catatonic (not like you can see shit) he starts playing with his hair. Rearranging it, feeling it between his fingers. He moves it more like one would a doll then actually caring about the placement.

This is all made worse by the look on Finney’s face. Even if the world is blurry he’s still disgusted and immediately stands.

I would never make you do anything you won’t….like

My memory may be wonky but I believe this is the second time the grabber comes into the basement. The first of what was to be many fake promises “I’ll take you home soon.” God how many times did he say that? How many of the boys believed it? Right after this is the first time finney starts to annoy him. More pressing was the line. God in theaters it got to me. The long pause…the way he looks at finney trying to gauge his reaction. If he understood, if he- or would he have to break him down?

“You touch me and I’ll scratch your face,,,and and everyone who walks by you will know”

Finney is fully aware of these kinds of people. He could hear it in the grabbers inflection, instantly… he gets frantic. Scared, but not enough to let him see.

I just wanted to look at you-

Talked about this one semi in length before so I’m going to keep it brief but good lord. The tears the grabber has in his eyes, the way he looks shocked/hurt for finney being creeped out, surprised and immediately stand off-ish. How he almost takes it like actual rejection compared to what it actually is. The implication that he watches them sleep, well enough to know when it’s being faked later on (“I know your not sleeping~”). What gets to me the most however is Finney’s reaction once the door shuts. His breathing becomes quick, his eyes huge and he quickly squirms to the back of the mattress. If the phone didn’t wake him…if he had been a heavier sleeper…what then?

What did you put in these?

“✨Salt and pepper Tee-hee✨” as much as this line makes me giggle it’s still, this scene still - ew. Again, finney knows these kinds of people- like threatening to scratch his face he knows damn well there could be something in the food. But the line “your already down here …what do I need to drug you for” hh chills. Yes leave the child to fill in the blanks you creep he already knows (again an example of the show don’t tell. The movie never explicitly says it or shows it but it does tell you over and over and over…) another thing of note is that he doesn’t actually drug the food, from what we know. He makes it a choice, he wants the boys to come to him from their own choice (except it isn’t , is it? You just leave the door unlocked and assume they knew what coming up stairs meant…)

These are just a few of the parts I wanted to highlight. As usual, comments , rbs etc always welcome

#the black phone #black phone #another meta come get y’all juice #the black phone 2022 #the grabber #finney blake #albert shaw #details #character study #ghost lore #modern horror #he’s so creepy and for what they’re kids just say boo or something #ethan hawke #mason thames #writing ref #writing reference #meta #commentary

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caatws · 11 months

Note

Yondu's death and how it was handled in the following gotg projects is the main reason I think how Gamora's been treated is unforgivable. A funeral and two other follow ups to your death/to honor your importance vs "you're not dead, you just can't remember". It would take 2 minutes tops to have Mantis, Drax and Rocket say 2 sentences to eachother about missing Gamora. They don't even had to shed tears if that would be too much. Drax already hated Thanos for killing his family once before. Where was his anger.

vol 3 reduced Gamora from a fully realized character who was an equal partner in the story and interacted with the others and guided them, to mainly someone only Peter really knew. Carrying over her relationship with Nebula from Endgame is the only saving grace. Worse is that Peter talking about it is the only time the canon gives Gamora credit for being essential to the family's origins and by extension the franchise.

Also it makes me really sad that Zoe has probably given the best performance of the bunch throughout her entire mcu run and because Gamora's arc is such a mess it completely overshadows that by the time you get finished vol 3. In fact, imo, vol 3 was fire performance wise for but hits rock bottom plot and arc wise. Without her death or if they had ressurected her, I think she easily would have had one of the best arcs in the mcu.

yeah, when i was comparing the treatment gamora's death to nat's that was already Oof but now comparing with yondu is just...OOOOOFFFFFF. it's just sad seeing the characters not get a chance to rly express their grief for her ever :'( and i think only rly exploring peter's grief makes it seem like gamora rly just existed to be his gf, which i know is a whole nother can of worms of discourse happening in starmora land rn (and given all the circumstances in the film, i honestly think the way starmora as a relationship was handled was pretty solid)

tho we had the holiday special (and i did enjoy it!), i kinda wish we'd had some other gotg project (love & thunder doesn't count since they were just there for 2 secs to support thor LOL) between endgame and vol 3 to actually explore the fallout from iw/endgame a lot more, not just for the gamora situation, but, like, everyone else too. like i mentioned earlier, i think there's a gaping hole in rocket's arc (and nebula's but to a lesser extent) given where his arc left off in vol 2, then the 4 years that passed offscreen between that and iw, and then the 5 years that passed offscreen during endgame, and then ANOTHER 2 years passed offscreen between endgame and the holiday special/vol 3 (i think). i'd imagine losing all of the gotg would've affected rocket a LOT (like remember when he literally shot gamora so she wouldn't risk her life to save peter like lol) and then when they returned, surely that would shift the way he approached his relationships with them

similarly with nebula, i'm assuming she only stuck around with the gotg bc after endgame bc she'd become rocket's bestie for the restie (which i love) and also idk helped the avengers defeat thanos (? idk it also seems like the gotg were just kinda absorbed into the avengers for those 5 years and then became separate again after endgame, which would've been cool to establish more explicitly in canon) but given how uninterested she was in hanging around the gotg at both the end of vol 1 and vol 2, i think we needed to see more of how she went from that to practically being a de facto leader of sorts for the team in the beginning of vol 3

like i said before, i do think much of vol 3 was still very much firing on all cylinders, including the performances, but some of these holes in the arcs were still hard to look past. i know gunn said he wanted the film to be something you could watch on its own without all the context of the previous gotg films/iw/endgame (which makes me wonder how much that informed the way he approached things like the gamora situation) but i think including more story elements and references to past works that would've made vol 3 more dependent on the previous gotg appearances would've fixed quite a few of these problems

#mcu #ask #gotg vol 3 spoilers #gamora #the gamora situation #<- creating that tag for all these asks now HAHA

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badnew2005 · 10 months

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mac and dennis and johnny and mitski and "though I've closed my eyes, I know who you pretend I am"

MUSIC MACDEN ASKS YESSSSSSS keep them coming forever please i love music i love cajatacters i love situations it’s my favourite thing to do listening to music and like i can’t help but have sunny themed visions. iasip my religion my god like i see Them in everything. what’s that santa clarita diet throwpillow anne makes like. mellis is so hot in that btw i looooove when she gets to be someone (that’s what acting is called she’s an actor). ANYWAYSSSSS . YES YES YES . also thinking where’s that post there’s three kinds of macdennis fans ones that listen to fall out boy ones that listen to the front bottoms and ones that listen to mitski. SUUIUUUCH a post. u know i’m the intersection of all three but my Masters Degree my DOCTORATE is in sunnyfob.

i really really really DO think mac knew deep down that dennis was johnny but it was so much easier and comfier to pretend otherwise. like making this ab my divorce again i didn’t realise (slash wasn’t overwhelmed by) that i had feelings for this girl until she came out to me like i Knew deep down she was queer and that i did. fancy her but i needed her to say it explicitly for anything to register and for my life to be ruined. and anyways dennis has been pushing mac away screaming at him to move on BUT HE WONT LET GOO ???? which is so frustrating to mac so even though he’s aware it’s dennis this is . some sort of comfort level. there’s so many good posts ab macden wanting to be other people like when mandy shows up and dennis is like i’m not me mac instantly jumps like i don’t want to be me either like . alone together from save rock and roll 2013. i’m outside the door invite me in so we can go back and play pretend. i don’t know where you’re going but do you have room for one more. LIKEEEEE.

i’m not a hundred either way in if dennis knew that mac knew it was him. the only thing worse than not knowing is you thinking i don’t know . SORRY i got possessed by sunnyfob again. but like. EVEN THOUGH IVE CLOSED MY EYES I KNOW WHO YOU PRETEND I AM. insane connection thank you anon i’m obsessed. it can be both pretending johnny is dennis and pretending johnny is genuinely his own person. dennis ran away physically to north dakota because mac could see through him and his walls but he suddenly wants that closeness back without ever properly communicating ANUTHINGGGG to mac. i know who you pretend i am. den being like fuck i know already mac wishes i was more like johnny . mac knowsssss !!!!! IM JOHNNY IM DENNIS IVE ALWAYS BEEN DENNIS. i said at the begining of my first watch the everything you need is already inside of you would come back around like YEAH it did but macden wise. he’s always been johnny he’s always been dennis :(((( johnny as the version of dennis those parts of him he’s been running away from. this episode presented me with MISERY i can’t get over it. macdennis is a love story but GOD is it tragic !!!!!

#SORRY I WENT ON SUCH A RAMBLE IVE BEEN UNLOCKED I LOVE MUSIC I LOVE CHARACTERS I LOVE SITUATIONS #i MAYBE love frank vs russia IT THREW ME FOR A LOOP I FEEL LIKE TENDS BAR THEY KNOW ME TOO WELL I NEED TO FLEE AND CHANGE WHO I AM #sunnyfob #mitski

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sokkastyles · 2 years

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Hi,

First, I wanted to thank you for your answer regarding my question on the Southern Raiders.

I have one more question regarding TSR, in that episode, I did not understand why Aang told Katara that her act of wanting to visit Yon Rah was making her sound like Jet. Because Jet's actions were going to hurt innocent people which Katara explicitly pointed out. I am just confused that how did he reach that conclusion, because Yon Rah was a soldier who hurt Katara by murdering her mother, but he could have also hurt other SWT families as well. While Katara did act to face closure for her own grief, who knows how many other SWT families were hurt by him and other Fire Nation Soldiers like him, looking for the last water bender.

You are welcome!

Yes, you are right, it's a false equivalence. The show already gets criticism for its treatment of Jet and Hama, and the way that topic is treated here and the way Aang brings up Jet adds to that problem.

The problem with Jet and Hama's actions is that they did hurt innocents, although there is already an uncomfortable tendency to associate radical actions done by members of an oppressed class with violence, and that is made even worse by Aang suggesting that Katara is just like Jet for wanting to take action against a violent murderer who, for all the group knows, is still out there unchecked. Not to mention what you said, that it is about more than just Katara's mother. This man was the captain of a unit whose sole job was the raiding of villages in the Southern Water Tribe. It's implied that their main mission was to suppress waterbending through the murder and capture of her people, but I also imagine that pillaging and terrorization was not out of the question, either, since those are all purposes of these kinds of raids, the gradual destruction and demoralization of a people. This is not Zuko coming there with his little ship on a fool's mission, this is a trained unit of soldiers who continue to run unchecked until Aang ends the war. For Aang to then tell Katara that she is wrong to want to stop this man is bad on its own, especially since Katara put so much faith in him to end her people's suffering.

For Aang to compare her to Jet is not only a conflation of radical action in the name of fighting back with hurting innocents, it is doubly insulting because of how deeply Jet hurt Katara, and Aang knows this, or should, because he was there and Jet betrayed his trust, too.

And like, that’s the thing. The most generous implication is that Aang is just clueless, but at worst, he said something that he KNEW would hurt Katara deeply because of how deeply she was hurt by Jet, and because of how deeply that wound cuts at Katara’s core values and who she is as a person. Katara’s need to believe that people like Yon Rha will be brought to justice is a large part of how she copes with her mother’s death, and her need to believe that goodness will triumph. What happened with Jet hit her hard because it was such a corruption of what she believed.

And Aang saying that thing about how she sounded like Jet? No wonder it just makes her more angry, more determined to prove that she isn’t like that at all, that her rage against Yon Rha is righteous. Because they are completely different situations.

The problem with this kind of stance is that it offers no solution for how justice should be achieved. The gaang saved that Fire Nation village from total destruction and saved the lives of the innocent, and that was a good thing, but the Fire Nation was still occupying Earth Kingdom land. Katara got closure for her personal grief but the Southern Raiders were still out there. Granted, we knew Aang was going to win the day eventually, but in the meantime, how many more people had to suffer?

That’s not Aang’s fault, but I think it is important to remember that Katara and the rest of the gaang (including Zuko) don’t come from the same time period before there was one hundred years of war. They have never existed in a time without war and violence. I’ve often seen this pointed out to argue that they are somehow more violent, but I don’t think that’s right. But it does mean that they know more strongly the effects of violence. Aang has experienced violence but he has also, for as long as he has experienced violence, been the Avatar and known that his eventual destiny was to end the violence. Katara and Sokka and Zuko lived most of their lives with next to no hope of the Avatar returning and no end to the violence. If the Avatar won’t stop it, who is going to? That’s where I think Katara is when she confronts Aang in The Southern Raiders.

#Katara #the southern raiders #atla meta

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pinkymoone · 2 years

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*Warning~SPOILER ALERT!! 🍌BANANA FISH: The Bitter Reality 🐟

Yes. I finally watched Banana Fish. (Read the manga about halfway)

If I’m being honest, I avoided this anime for quite a while because I stereotyped it and already knew how it was going to vaguely end (to which I reacted with a “duh” because gang stories never end up well if you can’t escape it). Still, the story was nothing but phenomenal when I finally experienced the whole thing. It made me realize that this was storytelling and people should be paying attention to these stories rather than dumb isekai series with long ass titles.

The ending for Banana Fish left me curled up in a ball in the depression pit (yes, some tears were spilled) for about a week, which I slowly crawled out of because I came to terms with how this anime portrayed reality. The bitterness of it, the sorrow of it--for reality is what we all try to escape from and yet no man has been able to, even people as great as Eiji. I indulge myself in many stories to escape from reality myself, but ultimately it's a cage no one can truly break out of.

Ash Lynx is too deep into the world of gangsters, so far from the innocent world that Eiji, his Japanese friend, lives in. There is no way they can peacefully be together, which explains why Eiji was sent back to Japan against his will. Ash loves Eiji, so his first priority is to always get him back to safety- to get him out of his dangerous world- which he’s successfully accomplished. But, of course, neither parties were happy with the split. As the story progressed from start to finish, Ash’s breaking point was well to be predicted although he’s never explicitly shown his distress, and that was partially because of Eiji. Ash could get through everything he had on his demanding agenda because Eiji relieved the excruciating side effects of Ash's sacrificing, dehumanizing, and stripping off of his own self-worth. Eiji gave worth to Ash without wanting anything back when he needed it the most. It was the greatest gift Ash could’ve ever asked of God, a friend who authentically loved him.

The ending could’ve been perfect if I stopped watching the last episode at the halfway mark (obviously, I can't do that hehe), but as Eiji goes back to Japan thinking that Ash is still alive, Ash actually gets stabbed by Sing’s half-brother. I initially thought that this was unnecessary, and I raged. I flipped tables, chairs, and cars. How can such a fantastic character— a celebrity of the hood, respected and charismatic-- have such a pathetic death? He got a ticket to Japan and was ready to run to the airport, but he suddenly got stabbed by a side character that I had literally forgotten about.

Ash crawled himself back to the New York Public Library and died with Eiji’s letter in his hands, strangely as if he wasn’t dying but simply resting. He seemed as if he wasn’t in any agony or pain, nor in a sense of remorse. But seriously... Why didn’t he go to the hospital instead? He had a chance to survive if he had told a person to call an ambulance, to get on a taxi to the hospital quickly, to even prevent on his own from bleeding out to death because he had survived far worse than a stabbing before... but enough of the ‘what ifs.’ With Eiji going to Japan, he didn’t have anything to help him hang onto his grueling life on a more extensive picture of his reality anymore. Tragedy will follow Ash forever. This is the world he chose to live in.

It did break my heart, but the last panel of Ash smiling while dying was the most peaceful smile we've ever seen him express. He died knowing that he was in the memories of a friend who truly loved him for who he was. That he had gotten to meet such a person, to have someone who would always think of him brightly even though they may never meet again. Perhaps that was all he was asking of his world when he first set foot in it… and now that he had obtained this very small blessing in his hellish world, he could rest with peace of mind for once.

So what I’m trying to say is that this was ultimately the best way Ash could’ve died. Not in the past by some gang enemy that’d haunt him every night, not in the future where he has every chance of being killed with torture, regret, and sorrow with every step he takes.

Perhaps in an alternate universe, Ash and Eiji would've led a normal and happy life with one another until they were old and wrinkly. It was a tragedy for this pair, who weren’t meant to be separated in any world. Soulmates that reality had utterly torn apart.

#manga analysis #anime spoilers #dark anime #anime review #anime analysis #banana fish #ash lynx #anime recommendation #writers on tumblr #anime #manga and anime #manga spoilers #character analysis #manga review #manga #analysis #ash x eiji #anime gif

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cmyknoise · 2 years

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whats sapnaps lore?

I've talked about this before, would heavily recommend just reading his wiki tho.

This is long, all the info under read more :P this is basically c!sapnap loveposting or whatever you call it.

But! Here's some cool stuff about c!Sapnap.

He originally wanted to fight on L'manburg's side, his history of being friends with the OG L'manburg crew goes back awhile, especially Tommy.

He's always been highly protective and defensive of his friends, especially his fiances.

After the end of the pet wars, and his talks with Tommy, he's not killed an animal intentionally since. He has stated he regrets hurting others in the way he did.

The dreamon hunter arc with him joining was super cool.

Although not explicitly stated, it is highly likely Sapnap, unintentionally, caused the egg's vines to spread. He 'cracked' the egg when trying to destroy it/free BBH really early on. Directly after it'd started to spread worse and worse.

He's canonically some sort of demon, or netherborn being. He's 'born from fire', and BBH is canonically his father.

He's the first out of him and George to have started seeing Dream for who he is- I'd say this roughly began at the start of Tommy's exile, but the feelings had been growing for awhile. He'd talk to Tommy in private about things Dream said, such as not caring about anyone/anything. When it came to the El Rapids fight, and the huge DTeam fight, he called Dream out on B.S.. He fought on the side of Tommy in Doomsday, not only because Tommy asked but because he also knew Dream was wrong and would do awful things.

During Doomsday, Technoblade had started to attack Quackity. Sapnap screamed for him to get away and they started to PVP. Sapnap got Techno about only one hit away from dying that day, Techno had to pearl away and eat a god apple.

During the final disc confrontation, he immediately places himself between Tommy, Tubbo, and Dream, defending them directly. He continues to do this nearly the entire time. He also helped put Dream into the prison.

When visiting Dream in prison, he tells Dream he still recognizes him as a friend but he can't excuse his actions, as they were downright awful, and he can't forgive him. He still loves him as a friend, but no amount of love for his friend would let him excuse things he'd done. This is why he is willing to be the one to kill Dream- because they're friends, and he wont let him hurt other people.

Sapnap is in constant support of Tommy and has been for awhile. He would've let him move into Kinoko Kingdom if not for Wilbur hanging back around (nothing directly against him, but he can't risk Kinoko or George & Karl's safety). When Tommy told him about Dream post-prison break, he immediately believed and trusted him, no question, unlike some other people.

Sapnap thinks the reason Karl is forgetful is because of the high exposure to mushrooms constantly.

Sapnap is currently stuck in the middle of Karl and Quackity fighting. He loves both of them, but doesn't know what to do.

Sapnap helped make Kinoko in hopes of having a safe place for his fiances & George. This is the exact reason Quackity made Las Nevadas (as well as wanting to try and have some sort of wealth/power for them for once)

Sapnap was originally on the invite list to the Red Banquet, but didn't come. As we saw what happened, that means BBH (under the egg's influence), would have sacrificed his own son to the egg.

Also here's some fun hypotheticals/other stuff!

IF Tubbo hadn't gone through with the exile of Tommy, and Dream had gone through with plan B, which was to build L'manburg's walls to build height and make sure they couldn't leave for supplies (like food, wood, stone, etc), it is very VERY likely that Sapnap would've been on their side. Dream said he would've had Sapnap & Punz patrol the walls, but at this point Sapnap already had taken issue in Dream's actions, he was heavily involved with Quackity, and had even been hanging out with Tommy on the side. It's likely there would've been some sort of smuggle plot where he would've taken people in/out of the border, or taken supplies in.

If it wasn't for Sapnap introducing Karl to the egg shortly after cracking it, when Karl went to the TFTSMP The Masquerade like a week later, he wouldn't have known the egg was still present on the server until it was too late. It's because of this, that Karl knew the egg was on the server before seeing it in Masquerade. When he'd caught wind of BBH trying to get Quackity under the egg's influence, he'd saved Quackity and threatened BBH. If this didn't happen, it's very likely Quackity would've been taken by the egg and been apart of the OG crew.

If Sapnap would've been able to kill Technoblade on Doomsday, Jack Manifold wouldn't have died. We also don't know how Phil or Dream would've reacted, but it could've stopped Doomsday prematurely (especially if Techno has planned to have the one life since the beginning, and thats not just a new development now).

If the Dreamon Hunter crew still existed, it's possible they would've looked into the egg, being that it was of questionable background and a supernatural entity. This would've had Sapnap once again have to face his father about the egg.

Also, Sapnap is one of the few people who have had a "finished" character growth/arc. He went from being someone who worked under Dream, hurt people and animals, to not wanting to do that anymore/regretting it and actively making a change to do and be better. This still happens, where he not only tries to make up for it, but continue to do good.

#dsmp #dream smp #sapnap #analysis #lemon answers #ask #anonymous

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honeypiehotchner · 3 years

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you’re still a traitor (Hotch x Fem!Reader) — one shot

This is all angst because my brain wanted to write something based off “traitor” by Olivia Rodrigo 🤭🤭🤭

Warnings: angst, mentions of sex, mentions of excessive drinking as a coping mechanism, no happy ending (and no there won’t be a part 2 soz)

Hotch Masterlist || Main Masterlist

brown guilty eyes and little white lies i played dumb but i always knew

Your relationship with Hotch wasn’t even a real relationship. Not in hindsight, at least. At the heart of it, though, as it was happening, it felt real. It felt more real than anything you had ever experienced.

Nothing was glorified, over-exaggerated, or unnecessary. You’ve always been a straight-to-the-point person, and so has he, so it struck neither of you by surprise when you began spending nights together on cases.

The tension between the two of you had always been high from the day you started at the BAU. He blames it on the skirt you wore to the interview. You blame it on the way he looked you up and down every chance he got.

No wonder he didn’t look surprised to find you on the other side of his hotel room door.

That first night you had said something stupid, something about the girls being lame and going to bed early. But the truth was that they were raiding the minibar, and as much as you wanted to join them, you wanted to see Hotch more.

You knew he didn’t sleep much. It wasn’t hard to conclude, not with his recent divorce, late hours, entire pots of coffee to himself, and dark circles under his eyes.

Not to mention, of course, the small throw pillow and blanket that magically appeared on the couch in his office one day.

You weren’t surprised when he opened the hotel room door, still fully dressed, minus his jacket. You were barely a fourth of a way through your explanation for turning up at his door when he pulled you inside, lips bruising yours and hands gripping your skirt.

To him, it was always the damn skirt.

That night was the first of many. No one knew. No one knows now. Hotch continued to book you a room of your own, and you continued to spend your nights in his bed.

You mastered the art of sneaking to his room after everyone was in, and sneaking back to yours before anyone woke up.

Occasionally, you’d stay back at the BAU until everyone had left, just to spend a moment more with Hotch.

loved you at your worst but that didn’t matter

No one knows this, but you’re the reason his dark circles left. The reason he didn’t stay as late anymore. Because you always coaxed him away, wanting dinner, or even just company as you walked to your car (where you’d then ask for dinner, or rightfully point out that he’s already at the parking garage, so he might as well go home).

Dinner one night turned into almost every night, except when he had Jack. Sleeping in his bed once became almost every night, except when Jack wanted to spend the night.

A label was never spoken about, but you never felt the need to speak about it. As far as you were concerned, you were the only one he was sleeping with and vice versa. Why did a label matter?

That’s what you told yourself, at least. Labels didn’t matter to you. Exclusivity is all that mattered, and you had that. You thought.

You had suspected Hotch started seeing someone else. But all you had was a gut feeling, and a feeling isn’t enough evidence.

i kept quiet so i could keep you

Soon it wasn’t just a feeling. Soon Hotch didn’t want to go to dinner anymore because he was leaving earlier than you — earlier than anyone else. Soon he started actually leaving for lunch on his lunch hour, and that’s when the rumors started swarming.

“Okay,” Garcia ushered everyone over in the bullpen. “Is. Hotch. Dating?”

Rossi chuckled. “I. Don’t. Know.”

Morgan shook his head. “Nah, that sounds like he knows something.”

“Not really,” you shrugged. “Why do we think he’s dating someone?”

“Are you kidding me?” Garcia gasped. “He just left the building on his lunch hour! I’ve never seen him leave for lunch the entire time I’ve been here.”

“Me either,” JJ agreed, to your horror.

“Maybe it’s just something with Jack,” you shrugged again, not even aware of your defensive tone.

Prentiss narrowed her eyes. “Do you know something?”

“What?” You blurted, eyes wide. “No? Am I supposed to?”

“Answering a question with a question,” Reid pointed out lowly.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” you said. You grimace, thinking about it now, but you didn’t have any energy then to know it was rude. Or to care.

You were paranoid. Horrified. You were in Hotch’s bed two nights ago, and now he was leaving on his lunch hour, and you had no idea what for. All signs pointed right where the rest of the team was thinking, but the thought made you sick.

So sick that the next night, when you found yourself once again in Hotch’s bed, you brought it up.

You tried to be nonchalant. You don’t know where it went wrong.

ain’t it funny? remember i brought her up and you told me i was paranoid

“How was lunch yesterday?”

His eyebrows furrowed. Something you used to gaze at in awe, but in that moment it made you panic. “Lunch?”

“Yeah,” you murmured. “You left for lunch and the whole team thought something was up.”

He merely hummed. Hummed. That was his reply.

“Emily thought I knew where you went,” you continued, tracing circles on your arm. Normally, you’d trace circles on his chest, but that felt wrong all of the sudden. “I told them I didn’t and they didn’t believe me.”

He chuckled quietly. “I went to lunch. That’s all.”

“With who?” You asked, far too quickly. Maybe that was your mistake. You were too accusatory too fast.

“Did it have to be with someone?” He retaliated, and looking back now, you see this moment here, this was the downfall.

“I mean,” you paused. “You normally stay in your office if you’re eating alone. I figured if you left then you were going to meet someone.”

“Oh.”

You hesitated. “Did you?”

“Yes,” he finally said, ripping the Band-Aid off once and for all. “Her name is Beth. But we’re just friends.”

You nodded. “You sure?”

He turned on his side then, facing you with his head propped on his arm. “Why are you asking?”

“Because I’m curious.”

“You’re never curious.”

“You never leave the office to meet someone for lunch.” Especially not a woman, unless for whatever reason, Haley wants to have lunch and brings Jack, but the last time that happened was seven months ago, back when they were still trying to be friends after the divorce.

“I’m allowed to meet friends for lunch.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t,” you replied, probably too harshly. “I just meant...I don’t know what I meant.”

you gave me your word but that didn’t matter

Weeks passed by and you watched Hotch leave every now and again to have lunch with Beth. He never explicitly told you that it was Beth he was meeting every single time, but you knew. You always knew.

Because the look he’d give you as he’d close his office door, phone in hand no doubt to send a text to her, letting her know he was on his way. The look he’d give you said it all.

You knew the end was coming. Truthfully, you knew the end of the two of you was coming from the first day he met her for lunch.

You had never seen him as happy as he looked when he came back. And with every lunch date, it got worse.

Yet, for some reason, he still invited you over. And for some reason, you still agreed without hesitation.

February came and your heart broke with it.

You knocked on Hotch’s office door, bag in hand, the question of dinner on your hopeful lips.

“Can we talk?” He asked, speaking before you had a second to breathe.

You nodded, stepped inside to your demise, not even bothering to sit down. You knew it wouldn’t take long, and it didn’t.

Two sentences. That’s all it took.

“I don’t think what we’re doing is something I want long-term — for me or for you. I think it’s best if we go our separate ways.”

For me or for you. He was always thinking of your well-being. It always annoyed you.

“Okay,” you had said, cracking a small smile to hide the pain. “Fun while it lasted, right?”

“Right,” he agreed. “Well, have a good night. See you tomorrow.”

You couldn’t hold the tears in and they flowed freely before you were even out of the bullpen. You were thankful everyone had left. Imagine the explanation you would’ve had to conjure up. The web of lies he would’ve forced you to spin in five seconds.

Instead, you had to spin an entirely new web. All to explain why you weren’t sleeping, why you were drinking more, why you looked like you had cried all night the next day (you said it was allergies and insomnia; Morgan was the only skeptical one, but he let it go).

it took you two weeks to go off and date her

The real ending came when Valentine’s Day arrived. You were foolish to think he’d spend it with you, but you still did.

The jet landed back in Virginia after a long case, and you thought for sure Hotch would tap you on the way off of the jet, ask you to dinner, then back to his place, just like you did last year.

But he had made plans. With Beth.

You were delusional to think otherwise, but still, his smile cut right through you when he told Rossi he had plans.

guess you didn’t cheat but you’re still a traitor

Derek, Emily, and Penelope wanted to go out for drinks and you were the first to agree, ready to forget the past year of your life.

Thankfully, you didn’t spill any secrets while drunk. You did confess to going through a breakup, but not with Hotch. No one will ever know it was Hotch. The “he” in question will forever remain a mystery to them.

Meanwhile, you watched Hotch fall deeper and deeper in love. He decided to run a triathlon, and he trained every morning -- with her. He left for lunch almost every day to go eat -- with her. He never stayed late, he always had plans -- with her.

He hardly ever spoke to you anymore. And you never spoke to him.

It became an unspoken agreement for you to leave finished paperwork on his desk without a word (if he was in there) or better yet, to drop it off while he’s at lunch.

You sleep in the hotel room furthest from his every case.

The seats next to him on the jet are off-limits and you’ve even gone to make a shitty cup of shitty coffee before to avoid him (and everyone knows you hate the coffee on the jet).

You somehow managed to never meet or hear about Beth until the triathlon — and you were apparently the only one who hadn’t met her yet.

Jack hugged her immediately that day. He had already warmed up to her and it made you want to claw your heart out.

Beth is nice. Beth is an angel. Beth is older, prettier, everything you knew Hotch wanted and wasn’t getting from you.

She shook your hand with a smile, none the wiser to the fact that you’ve slept with Hotch more times than you can remember. That your heart belongs to him even though you don’t want it to. Even though you want it back.

now you bring her around just to shut me down show her off like she’s a new trophy

Once you met Beth, it seemed like she was everywhere. Visiting the office, bringing Hotch lunch, bringing Jack in to visit, having coffee with Hotch in the cafe you used to frequent, at Rossi’s for family dinner nights. Everywhere.

Worst of all, at JJ and Will’s wedding.

You weren’t the only one to show up without a date, yet you felt like it. Especially when Hotch arrived with Beth on his arm, glowing like always, with Jack holding onto his hand.

You avoided Hotch all night — Beth too, but mostly him — yet he somehow managed to find you alone in the kitchen.

The wine was your saving grace of the night, and he happened to walk in as you were pouring another.

“I can hear your liver screaming from here.”

A poor attempt at a joke, really. Maybe it was funny. But you didn’t laugh. “I’ll survive” was your dry reply before downing half the glass.

His face looked softer, but you know now it was the wine in your system.

“You look good,” he had said. “How are you doing?”

You stared at him. “Fine. Thanks.”

You don’t know why he kept trying to have a conversation with you. You felt insufferable and you see now that you were, but it’s all his fault.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You chuckled dryly. “Not with you.” You paused. “How’s Beth?” Paused again, this time to bring the wine glass to your lips. “How’s a real relationship working out for you?”

Hotch’s face fell. “What we had was real. You know that.”

“I know it was,” you replied. “But do you? Do you really?”

He didn’t answer. His silence was all you needed.

and i know if you were true there’s no damn way that you could fall in love with somebody that quickly

You left him standing there in the kitchen without another word. You had nothing left to say to him, and he clearly ran out of words for you.

Derek found you halfway to the dance floor.

“Woah, I don’t like that look,” he said, taking the wine from you. “What’s going through that pretty head of yours?”

“Nothing,” you lied. “Let’s dance instead. Come on.”

You drug him away, meeting Penelope and Emily for the next song. You danced, you cried, you blamed the tears on the alcohol in your system. You slow danced with Emily, Derek, Rossi, narrowly avoided Hotch by swinging into Spencer’s fumbling arms.

No one knew. No one would ever know.

you betrayed me

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner oneshot #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner songfic #traitor olivia rodrigo #aaron hotchner angst #angst #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds songfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #you will not find a happy ending here #oops

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ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole · 3 years

Text

Stories of Paris

Part 4

Part One Part Three AO3

Masterlist

................................................................

Damian was unhappy with the fact that with ‘strangers’ in *his* house their nightly activities would have to carefully navigated. His father nor Pennyworth had not explicitly said anything about it, but he assumed it was because they all knew what was expected. So, being told to line up in the entrance hall by his father went down like a lead balloon.

His pout turned in widening eyes of shock as he witnessed the tall wiry young woman (and a large man he supposed) exiting the car. SHE was his father’s babysitter. This was who oversaw the European branch of W.E. The person who owned the largest portion of shares of W.E (after the Wayne family that is). He was doomed. Damain watched as his father soften as he saw the woman.

“Mari! You never seem to age!” he exclaimed as she gracefully walked up to him and into his embrace.

“Mon cherie! It’s miraculous isn’t it,” she drew back slightly to look over his shoulder, “I see you have taken found family comment to the extreme, but I suppose you were never one to do things in half measures. It’s good to be back here after so long”

Looking at her like he was a child with pleading eyes, “You are staying here, right?”

With a gentle smile with a smirking edge, “Yes. If I tried to leave for a hotel, I’ll end up having the shadows watching me all night. Plus, this place always did feel like my home away from home.”

Damian glancing at his supposed siblings to see that they were also in shock. Probably not for the same reason. Panicking with it all, as he saw his father turn to introduce them to the woman, Damian drew his katana and aimed it at her.

“YOU were fathers' babysitter!!! But... what... you’re younger than him!!!! .... You’re the Grand Lady Guardian... I *refuse* to return.”

Damian vaguely recognised his name being shouted at him, but all his attention was on the Grand Lady Guardian of the Miraculous who stood, rolling her eyes, before him. He could feel her power radiating off, surrounding them all.

“Petit Tresor. I’m not taking you back there. Did you not learn anything from my teachings? Did you not learn to read between the lines? About looking deeper than the surface. You are with *your* found family. THEY are what is important. Bruce may have picked up a lot of my unhealthy habits about vigilantism, but he made a point of understand a good support network and the importance of chosen family. Despite how he enacts the teachings.”

The Monkey with her came to her shoulder and raised his eyebrow at Damian. He finally understood why he was always her bodyguard now rather than the Cat, being that he was her husband.

“You can stand down Petit Tresor. League and Court business will *not* be found here. The League know what will happen if they cross the Court, and I made it very clear after our last encounter when they tried to manipulate us to their advantage.”

Damian assessed the woman before him as he withdrew his katana from her and starting to become aware of the others around him again.

“Why has he got a chaos shard within him Bruce?” The monkey growled looking at him with a dangerous glint in his eye.

Everyone in the entrance hall was frozen in shock and panic. What was meant to be a happy reunion had been derailed but now, suddenly, somehow gained an even sharper edge. Marinette and her husband were aware of their nightly capers, and they also knew of the League, they were involved in something similar and aware of chaos shards.

Damian watched as his father gulped as he looked at the Monkey and the Guardian. It wasn’t often his father showed fear, but it was clear on his face as she arched her eyebrow at him. His siblings all looked on in surprise and uncertain of what to expect. Only Pennyworth and Todd seemed to be handling the situation with any sense of calmness. Surprising for Todd...

“Mari... his mother... the league...”

At the mention of the league the Guardians eye twitch so subtly you’d hardly notice it if not trained and with a minute flicker of her hand, the Monkey flipped his phone out and was walking out back outside to call someone... Damian straining his ears heard Peg and plan 42c being mentioned by the Monkey to whoever he had called.

“They were warned. Tsk, Assassin’s bullheadedness. Kim will sort this out for me for the present moment and we will discuss healing at a later point. Anyway, mon cherie, you were about to introduce me to your children. Petit Tresor I know, and I believe that that is Jason, mon rêveur, in the background though he has grown so much since our last meeting. So, I could guess everyone else, but why don’t you continue?”

The Guardian stated as if the topic of what just happened was over, much to Damian’s surprise. He sheafed his katana but still was wary of the woman and slightly in awe. He had a feeling that the chaos and downfall of his grandfather may have due to her in some way. Slight fear and dread for his mother was building as well. He finally starting to understand the reason for her over protectiveness when she taught him in the league now.

“Right. Mari, this is Dick, Jason who you already met in person? Cass and alongside her Duke, Tim who you meet briefly in the W.E. meeting the other month, Steph who has wormed her way into the family and Damian you who’ve also already met?”

With a polite cough drawing attention to himself, Alfred spoke. “Perhaps, instead of having a mother’s meeting in the entrance hall, we retreat to the drawing room where we can have some refreshments. I am sure that Ms Marinette and Master Kim are exhausted from their travels. It is most unbecoming to stand around loitering, wouldn’t you agree Master Bruce?”

Bruce muttered something as his ears started to tinge red, Marinette turned to Alfred and smiled as she drew him into a hug while Bruce collected himself.

“Yes, right, that sounds like a fantastic idea Alfred. Mari, shall we?”

Bruce offered her an arm which she elegantly took as the took off in the direction of the drawing room delving into conversation with Bruce leaving behind a shocked collection on children in the hall. Alfred slipped off to prepare the refreshments.

Damian cringed as Dick exclaimed, “YOU GUYS KNOW HER?!?!?!!” which echoed around the manor as he finally processed what had just happened.

______________________________________________

Alfred smiled as the atmosphere within the Manor shifted over the last few weeks. It now had a different air about it. Master Bruce became less sullen and slightly less repressed under Marinette’s watch and the Manor started to feel lighter again.

Alfred had found great amusement when he stumbled in on Master Kim lecturing Master Bruce on being dense especially the “I know I’m dense but kwami Bruce! You’re worse than me realising all the competitions I got Mare rigged into was because I wanted to impress her! Let’s start at the beginning, ok?!”.

He hoped that Master Kim might be able to knock a bit of sense into his wayward charge. He knew Ms Marinette, though full of good intentions wouldn’t be able to with Master Bruce’s strange ability to pick up on the wrong message being given.

The highlight of the week was when he entered the family living room to find all his grandchildren looking pale as Master Bruce acted semi child-like in front of Ms Marinette. It was a delight to see Bruce act like the child that he knew he was reawakened again. Even if it terrified the grandchildren.

The whole family discovered that Bruce had been very selective of the stories and information that he had told them about Marinette. She had taken great delight telling them all about what teenage Bruce really was like.

About the time Bruce had a fan induced panic attack on meeting the Jagged Stone. Alfred was slightly aware of something happened but not the details.

About the time Bruce decided to practice parkour in the Manor gardens and ended up stuck halfway up the side of the Manor unable to climb up further or climb down. Alfed was positive he was unaware that Marinette joined him and had to coach Bruce down.

About the series of times that Bruce attempted to prove to Alfred that he had ‘outgrown the kitchen ban’ and had ‘observed Mari’s baking skills sufficiently’ to be able to try again for only the attempts to go south fast. Alfred grimaced at the memories that that bought up. He was glad that he’d got a good working deal with local kitchen fitters and suppliers given the number of fires.

It became a daily breakfast occurrence that Bruce mortified Marinette in his outfit for the day. The breakfast entertainment became watching Marinette tear into his fashion choice of the day, drag up some past clothing or costume disaster. She ended up moaning that he had learnt nothing from her rantings about clothes over the years and stare forlornly into her coffee cup. It was providing the bat boys a wealth of black mail material that Alfred had to on numerous occasions reel Marinette from her tangents.

The only time he let her completely go to town with was letting her regale to everyone about Bruce’s dramatic and insistent argument on fighting crime in Lyca, wearing pants on top of tights and with a cape, that he really insisted that he didn’t need to use Kevlar (that decision didn’t last beyond a few training sessions and one patrol night). Alfred was pleased with her ability to rein that disaster in quickly.

It was in the comfort of the kitchen away from the antics that happened Alfred mused and reflected on his notional niece's visit. Alfred wished he had thought to bring Marinette over sooner as he witnessed that fraught relationships between the Waynes soften. Issues didn’t disappear but Marinettes presence, and ability due to dealing with Akuma, helped mitigate situations which typically would have blown up. Kim always by her side would help soothe, distract, or explain to the puzzled Bruce the techniques Marinette was using to stop the escalation.

She’d slowly began charming and connecting with his grandchildren. Be it by giving Tim pointers on how to manage W.E board members effectively and playing video games. It was eerily like how she warmed Bruce up to her.

By Sitting quietly reading with Jason or playing chess and talking in metaphors about life, death and balance. Slowly having ‘healing sessions to calm the pit madness’ with meditation and grounding sessions.

With Damian she seemed to remind him of alternate grounding techniques which she’d shown him in the league. They seemed to spend time talking in hushed whispers about other stuff that Alfred wasn’t currently privy too.

Duke was with poetry and music. Cass with dance and gymnastics, silent subtle conversations occurred but seeing Cass smile and edge towards being more tactile made Alfred glow with warmth inside. Steph and Marinette commanded the kitchen numerous times baking pastries, waffles and other treats.

Dick took the longest to warm up to the woman, having heard and known about her for over a deacade but never met it was understandable. Alfred wpould never knew what Marinette had done but one day the hostility and coldness disappeared. A joy, childlike smile appeared on Dicks face every time she was in the room, and he’d follow her round like a loat puppy. Watching and mimicking her techniques to calm his brothers down.

How his grandchildren acted with Marinette in the activities brought echoes of memories of her with Bruce to the forefront of Alfred’s mind.

Sighing, in the short time the Manor felt warm and like a family, a home should feel like. Much like before his friends’ death. Schooling his emotions, Alfred set about to serve the family and Parisians last dinner together.

______________________________________________

Bruce tried not to sulk. Tried not to revert to the mind set of when Marinette originally disappeared physically from his life. Especially in front of his children but it was hard. She somehow always managed to take the overwhelming pressure away from him, like he could breathe and be.

Alfred was his father, in all the ways that counted, but the burden of death and saving the world was something Marinette understood at a deeper more personal level. Having her here made it feel safe to feel, that he would always be caught. That she would save him from the consuming darkness. She was the light in the world shining out in the Gotham gloom.

As expected, his children adored her in their unique ways. Following her around like little ducks scrabbling for crumbs of knowledge and titbits of information. Bruce lips twitched as he witnessed them behaving much like he used to. Taking the gems’ she passed on to them and ferreting them away much like he did.

“Master Bruce, I expect better behaviour this leaving gathering than our previous party, please.”

With Alfred’s comments Bruce gave into the feeling of pouting. Why deny how he felt toward the situation where he wasn’t in control. He pointedly ignored the stares that his children were giving him. Again.

“Mon tresor! It’s not like you aren’t going to see or speak to me again. We speak regularly as it is. It’s not the same as it was last time. You know this.”

“But Mari, it's nice having you here. This is your home.”

“Is he always like this Mare, Cupcake? How is it that all the kid’s you’ve looked after end up demanding you live with them?”

Bruce choked at Kim’s statement and the Wayne clan burst into laughter. Alfred let a small smirk grace his face.

“Oui, Mon Amour, He wasn’t happy last time I left at all. Be grateful I learnt to resist kitten eyes or we’d never have reconnected. Manon doesn’t count. She’s practically family as well with how close Maman and Nadja are.”

“What about Elle, Etta and Chris? What about Ivan’s and Mylene’s sproglian? Fang? Jagged’s second round of terrors? Luka and Jules too really.”

“Hush, Mon Amour, circumstantial evidence.”

Bruce observed Kim stare at his wife in disbelief before waving his hand around the room.

“What about these then. Don’t give me that look Cupcake. I’m gonna end up needing to fight the whole batclan at this rate to get you on a plane with me! Maybe I should give Peg’s the heads up that I’ll need his help.”

“I can assure you Master Kim that you *both* are free to leave. The young master's understand that they cannot kidnap you. It would not be becoming of them OR look good for the company for the family to kidnap its own workers.”

Bruce and his family guiltily ducked their heads at Alfred’s comments. When Alfred turned away to start talking to Kim, Tim leant in close to Bruce to whisper to him.

“Do you think we have the power to move her to being director of North America rather than Europe? Mari would be closer then? Plus, the guy in charge isn’t all he’s cracked up to be so the board would likely approve it.”

Bruce stared at his son at the ingenious and simple solution and smiled, before ducking his head when Alfred pointedly looked his way.

“We’ll discuss that concept later.”

Bruce gave Tim a subtle nod as if he was approving the idea. Technically he was but Alfred didn’t need to know that. Nor did Kim really, as he would fight him if he found out and he’d rather not deal with an ex-olympian superhero, even when he pulled his punches they hurt far more than the average persons.

Bruce sat back into his seat and smiled as the conversation and chaos flowed around him. His whole family finally together and he cherished it. He knew it wasn’t going to last much longer with the impending flight looming but for now he had a potential and creative plan to work on. If he framed it right it could also become the prefect family bonding activity that both Marinette and Kim thought he needed to do more of outside of vigilantism. And if the end result was that she moved closer, well, that’s just an added bonus in his eyes.

With that in mind, Bruce joined in with the choas enjoying the moment with his complete family. Nothing could take this away from him.

Tag:

@neakco @corporeal-terrestrial @jayjayspixiepop @lady-bee-fechin @prettylittlebutterflie

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