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gallusrostromegalus · 1 year

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So the tire-eating potholes in my neighborhood finally killed both my rear tires and I had to get that dealt with, but while they were getting replaced, I put the dogs in puppy daycare and upon picking them up early, the attendant literally sprinted to the front desk, grabbed me by the shoulders and breathlessly exclaimed "YOUNEEDTOCOMESEEWHATYOURDOGSAREDOING"

While she escorted me back to the play yards, she explained that every time they have more than three Corgi, they have to put all the Corgs in a separate play yard because they turn into a little gang and bully the Very Large dogs by playing Cow Herding Simulator 5000 with them, and especially if Herschel is there, because corgis are bossy-pants dogs, and Herschel has the bossiest pants of them all and acts as leader.

Despite being a little Don Corgleone to the short bitch mafia, Hershcel is also a Huge Baby and will apparently cry and cry and try to climb the fence and cry and eat people's shoelaces and cry if he is separated from Charlie during playtime, so this means any time that "Corgi Party" is happening, Charlie also has to go to Corgi party, despite being full-height, running cat software and a senior citizen. he copes with being Gulliver amongst the Liliputians by climbing onto the roof of the playskool castle they have for a climbing structure in the yard, kicking the ladder down behind him, and stretching out to nap in the sun while the corgi frolic and gambol around him.

Corgi are dogs that make up and play games with secret rules, like kindergartners. "Everyone bark in sync" is a popular game, as is "follow the leader" and it's companion game "March in a circle around a tall structure like ants caught in a death loop".

So what I was greeted with, when the attendant and I snuck out to the play yard, was the sight of Charlie, sound asleep and flat on his back with his paws crossed over his chest because sighthounds sleep in the stupidest fucking positions, on top of a faux-medieval castle with gargoyles on the corners, surrounded by approximately seven Corgi, all trotting in a circle around him, barking in sync.

"They look like they're preforming some kind of ritual!" giggled the attendant as attempted to get my phone to focus.

"Yeah, they're gonna summon Corgtulhu." I said.

Unfortunately, this made the attendant literally fall on her ass laughing, and distracted Herschel and his compatriots, so they didn't get to complete the summons, and I didn't get the pic.

The attendant kept laughing because apparently she's new to puns, and had mostly gotten it under control by the time we got everyone's leashes on and back out to the front.

The manager was watching the front desk, bemused. Did you get to see them doing the ritual?"

"YEAH!" shrieks the attendant, still excitable with merriment. "THEY'RE- THEY WERE-" The attendant ends up giggling on the floor.

"You okay there Katie?" asked the manager with minimal concern.

"We think they were trying to summon Corgthulhu." I eplain, and Katie screams from the floor. "Wasn't gonna work though, you need a virgin sacrifice and Charlie had an STD when we got him."

It was the manager's turn to shriek. and for Charlie and Herschel to start barking in solidarity.

"That's right Charlie! Your sluttiness saved the world!" I told him, as he jumped up and kicked me in the face.

Anyway, that's why Charlie's nickname at daycare is now "Superman(whore)"

---

If you found this story amusing, please consider donating to my Ko-fi or pre-ordering the Family Lore book on my Patreon so I can buy the good dogs more treats.

#Dogs #family lore #Herschel the Hanukkah Goblin #Charleston Chew

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gh0stsp1d3r · 6 months

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ℛℯ𝓁𝒶𝓍

a/n- Give my boy a break 😭 no warnings, angst to fluff. But this is like my second time writing for him so I don’t have his character completely down and analyzed ): hopefully it’s good

fnaf masterlist

You knew he was having a hard time with everything. His hands were on his forehead, as Abby rambled on at the dinner table. His eyes stayed glued on the bills, wondering how he’d pay for it.

He was just fired from another job, some job at a pizzeria this time. The pay wasn’t good, anyways, but it saved Abby from having to go to Jane.

“Hey, Abby, why don’t you go show me your new drawing?” You said, interrupting her rambling. Mike looked up at you, shaking his head. His eyes saying “it’s fine.” But you shook your head back, and gave him a small smile.

“Okay.” She said, jumping up from the seat and grabbing your hand, leading her to the room.

After a while, you tucked her in. In a way, she thought of you as like a mother.

“Goodnight, Abby.” You said with a smile, she smiled back and you shut the door.

You went into the living room, where Mike was staring off into space as he cleaned up the dishes.

You came up behind him, he jumped, not expecting you.

“She asleep?” He mumbled.

“Yeah. Mike…” you started, as he dried his hands.

“Hmm?”

“Come on. Let’s sit down for a second.” You said, he furrowed his eyebrows. Was this your way of breaking up with him? A million thoughts ran into his head, his anxiety getting the better of him.

“Hey, it’s nothing bad.” It’s like you could read his mind. You put your hand on top of his as you sat on the bed. He sat across from you.

“What is it?”

“I just.. I noticed you’ve been stressed, and I didn’t really wanna tell you this cause I know you would be all ‘we’re fine!’ And stuff. I got a second job. And I think that you just need to take a break for a second-“

“Wha- Y/n- how’s that even gonna-“

“Work out? It will. I promise. I’ll still be here every night, and I know you’re struggling. Mike, I just want the best for you.” You said, looking up at his glassy eyes. You were too good for him, he thought.

“We’ll make up the bill, and we’ll figure everything out. Together. I promise.” You said, smiling at him again.

“But why would you-“

“Because I want you to relax. I love you, and I would do anything for you. A second job isn’t gonna hurt, okay?”

Tears start to fall down, the weight of everything was crashing down on him. Abby, getting fired, Garrett, and now he felt like he was burdening you.

You frown, and scoot closer to him. You wrap an arm around him, he cries into your shoulder.

“You’re not a burden, Mike.” You mumbled.

“I love you.” He said, and you smiled. That was all you ever needed from him.

#mike schmidt fluff #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #my baby #give him a break #fnaf x y/n #fnaf x you #fnaf x reader #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson x reader

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pucksandpower · 2 months

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Blackmail Material

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: you love your boyfriend more than life itself but who can blame you for keeping a folder of all the blackmail material he has given you over the years … just in case

You hear a bloodcurdling scream from the other room. “Y/N! Come quick!” Charles yells.

You rush over to find him standing on top of the couch, a look of sheer terror on his face. “What’s wrong?” You ask.

He points a shaky finger at the floor. “Sp-spider!”

You look down to see a tiny little spider no bigger than a blueberry crawling across the hardwood. You have to stop yourself from laughing at the sight of your brave Formula 1 driver boyfriend absolutely losing it over this tiny critter.

“Really? That’s what all the fuss is about?” You don’t bother to keep the amusement out of your voice.

“Don’t laugh!” He says indignantly. “It’s a monster! Kill it, please!”

You kneel down and take a closer look at the offending arachnid. “Aww, it’s just a little jumping spider,” you say. “It’s actually kind of cute.”

Charles makes a strangled sound of disbelief. “Cute? It’s a beast from the depths of hell! I want it gone!”

You roll your eyes affectionately. “You race cars at over 300 kilometers per hour, but you’re scared of a little spider barely bigger than a piece of lint?”

“Yes! Spiders are my worst fear. Now stop teasing me and get rid of it!” He gives you his best pleading look from his perch on top of the couch.

“Alright, alright,” you acquiesce, grabbing an empty glass from the coffee table. You gently trap the spider under it and slide a piece of cardstock underneath, trapping the spider safely.

“Is it dead? Please tell me you killed it,” Charles asks hopefully.

“Of course not, I’m just going to let it go outside. Spiders are good, they eat other bugs.”

Charles visibly shudders. “Well get it out of here! I don’t want to see it ever again.”

You carry the spider carefully to the sliding door and release it on the balcony. When you come back inside, Charles is still standing on the couch looking suspiciously around at the floor.

“The horrible beast has been banished, you can come down now,” you say.

He hesitantly steps back down onto the floor. “Are you sure it’s gone? You didn’t just give it free reign to run wild in the apartment?”

You try and fail to hold back a laugh. “Yes, I’m sure. Your life is no longer in peril.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “This isn’t funny! Spiders are evil creatures with too many legs and eyes. They should not exist.”

You go over and wrap your arms around him comfortingly, though you’re still struggling not to giggle. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. But you have to admit, it’s kind of silly that someone who races cars at death-defying speeds could be so terrified of a tiny spider.”

He huffs indignantly. “It’s a completely rational fear. They’re all legs and eyes and they move so fast and erratically and some of them can be venomous. Absolutely horrifying.”

You smile indulgently and kiss his cheek. “Okay, I get it. I promise I’ll protect you if any more evil spiders invade our home.”

“Thank you,” he says, finally relaxing into your arms now that the threat has passed.

But you just can’t resist teasing him a little more. “It was just so small!”

He pulls back and gives you an unamused look. “You’re not going to let this go anytime soon, are you?”

You grin impishly. “Letting my big macho boyfriend stand on the couch and scream because of a teeny tiny spider? Yeah, probably not gonna let you live this one down for a while.”

Charles groans. “This is so unfair. The guys will never let me hear the end of it if they find out.”

You pat his shoulder sympathetically. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone that Charles Leclerc is terrified of itsy bitsy spiders.”

And if you happened to save evidence of his freak out just in case? Well … it’s not technically telling anyone unless you share the video.

***

You can’t help but grin as Charles paces back and forth in your New York hotel room, running his hands through his hair in distress.

“Chill out babe, I’m sure the airline will find your luggage soon,” you try to soothe him.

Charles whips around, eyes wide. “Chill out? How can I chill out when my La Mer is missing? Do you have any idea how long it took me to perfect my skincare routine?”

You stifle a laugh at his dramatics. “I mean, it’s just skincare products. Not the end of the world.”

“Just skincare products?” Charles looks at you in horror. “That’s like saying a Ferrari is just a car! La Mer is the cream of the crop, the holy grail of skin care! My face needs it to survive!”

You can’t hold back your grin anymore. “Wow, didn’t realize I was dating such a high maintenance diva,” you tease.

Charles huffs, crossing his arms. “I am not high maintenance, I just have discerning taste and an appreciation for quality.”

“Uh huh, sure,” you say. “Is that why you made us stop at three different Whole Foods on the way here from the airport until you found your favorite protein shake?”

“That is completely different,” Charles protests. “My skin is very sensitive, I can’t just use any old drugstore products.”

You laugh and pull Charles onto the couch next to you. “You’re cute when you pout.”

He tries to keep a straight face but ends up cracking a smile. “I can’t help it, I’m freaking out! Do you know how dry airplanes are? My skin is going to be a flaky desert by tomorrow.”

You run a hand through his hair. “Aww poor baby. However will you cope without your six hundred dollar moisturizer?”

Charles narrows his eyes at you. “You joke, but this is serious stuff. Do you want a boyfriend with wrinkles and acne?”

“I mean, a few wrinkles never hurt anyone,” you say, kissing his cheek.

He gasps dramatically. “Don’t even joke about that! I’ll be twenty seven soon, wrinkle prevention needs to start now.”

You shake your head in amusement. “Most twenty seven year olds aren’t this worried about wrinkles. But I guess Formula 1 drivers really are high maintenance.”

“With good reason! We can’t have crows feet interfering with our vision,” Charles says matter-of-factly.

You give him a look. “You’re just making things up now.”

Charles holds your hands, looking deeply into your eyes. “Mon amour, you must understand. Athletes age in dog years. We need anti-aging products just to keep up.”

You burst out laughing, shoving him playfully. “You’re so full of it!”

Charles grins cheekily. “But you love me anyway.”

You lean in and give him a soft kiss. “Yeah I do. Even if you are a high maintenance diva.”

Charles puts a hand to his chest in mock offense. “I thought girlfriends were supposed to be supportive! My skincare is obviously very important to me.”

You snuggle up next to him, running a hand through his hair. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Tell me all about this super special moisturizer.”

His eyes light up. “Well first of all it contains like crushed up diamonds or something. And they freeze each jar before shipping it to keep the ingredients ultra fresh.”

You make a mental note to Google this later, since it sounds completely absurd that diamonds would be an effective skincare ingredient. Though with Charles, you can never be too sure.

“Uh huh, diamonds. That’s totally normal,” you say, playing along.

“Exactly! And the founder makes sure each jar charges under the energy of a full moon before it’s sold. It’s really an intricate artisanal process.” Charles sighs longingly.

You smile and kiss his pouting lips. “You’re cute. I promise your skin will survive one night without magic moon diamonds.”

Charles snuggles against your shoulder. “I know, I know. Skincare is just part of my routine, it makes me feel relaxed and put together. And smelling like citrus blossoms is an added bonus.”

You kiss the top of his head. “I get that. Hopefully the airline finds your stuff soon. But in the meantime, want me to see if anyone sells La Mer nearby?”

Charles perks up. “Ooh yes, let’s check! I saw they have a Dior down the block too.”

You laugh and take his hand. “Of course they do. Come on, let’s go spoil you with new overpriced skincare products until yours turn up.”

***

You walk into the kitchen and see your boyfriend standing at the counter, a pile of uncooked spaghetti next to him. He takes a portion in his hand … which he proceeds to snap in half before dropping it into the pot of boiling water on the stove.

“Charles! What are you doing?” You exclaim in shock.

He turns to you, confused. “What do you mean? I’m just making sure the pasta will fit better in the pot.”

“But you can’t break spaghetti before cooking it!” You say incredulously. “That’s like a cardinal sin in Italy!”

Charles laughs. “Oh come on, it’s not that big of a deal. The pasta will cook just fine this way.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “I can’t believe Il Predestinato is out here breaking pasta. Do you have any idea how offensive Italians would find this?”

“I’m sure they will survive the absolute tragedy of some broken spaghetti,” he jokes.

You nod to your phone. “It’s a good thing I’m recording this for posterity then. The whole country needs to know about this travesty.”

Charles’ eyes go wide. “What? No, don’t record me!” He reaches for your phone but you spin away, giggling.

“The people of Italy deserve to know the truth about their hero!” You declare dramatically.

“Mon ange, please give me the phone,” he pleads, trying to grab your arm. You dance out of reach.

“Truth and justice will prevail!” You continue recording as Charles chases you around the kitchen island.

“Come on, delete it! This could start an international incident if it gets out!”

You pause to catch your breath, phone held high. “An international inchident? Wow, look at you being all dramatic now. I thought it wasn’t a big deal?”

Charles runs a hand through his hair in exasperation. “I didn’t think you’d actually record it as blackmail material! Please, mon amour, I’m begging you, delete the video.”

You pretend to think about it. “Hmm I don’t know … this seems like prime viral video content. Scuderia Ferrari Driver Destroys Pasta, Enrages Italy. Can you imagine the views it would get?”

“Y/N!” Charles lunges forward and tackles you onto the living room couch. You shriek with laughter as he tries to pry the phone from your grip.

“Noooo my video!” You yell dramatically.

Charles pins your arms above your head with one hand and reaches for the phone with the other. “Give it to me!”

You squirm underneath him. “Never!”

He leans down until his face is just inches from yours. “What’s it going to take for you to delete that video, huh?” His voice is low and gravelly.

You catch your breath, hyper aware of his body pressing against yours. “I don’t know, what are you offering?” You ask cheekily.

Charles brushes his nose against yours. “What if I made you your favorite dinner tomorrow night?”

You tilt your chin up in defiance. “That’s all I get for deleting potential internet gold? I don’t think so.”

He moves even closer, his lips just barely grazing your cheek. “Okay, what if I take you out for a nice date too? Dinner and a show at the opera, your choice.” His breath is warm against your skin.

You close your eyes for a second, affected by his closeness but not ready to give in yet. “Tempting, but I think this video is worth even more than that.”

Charles makes a small noise of frustration before capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You melt into it for a blissful moment before pulling back slightly.

“Well that’s certainly a start,” you murmur, your heart racing.

Charles lets go of your hands to cradle your face tenderly. “Mon cœur, please delete the video. I’m begging you. I’ll do anything.”

You search his eyes intently. “Anything?”

“Anything,” he confirms fervently before kissing you again, deeper this time.

You wrap your arms around his neck and give yourself over to the kiss. After several heated moments, you gently break away.

“Okay fine, I’ll delete the video on one condition.”

Charles looks at you warily. “Name it.”

“You have to let me drive your Ferrari.”

Charles groans and drops his head against your shoulder. “You’re killing me, you know that?”

You laugh and pat his head consolingly. “Those are my terms.”

He lifts his head to grin ruefully at you. “You drive a hard bargain. But for the sake of Italian nonnas everywhere, I accept your deal.”

You lift up your phone and pretend to wipe away a tear. “The souls of broken spaghetti can finally rest easy.”

Charles just shakes his head before leaning down to silence you with another deep kiss. As you lose yourself in the feeling of his body against yours, you quietly move the video into an encrypted folder. After all, you never know when it might come in handy.

***

You raise an eyebrow as you watch Charles carefully pour Red Bull into his Ferrari water bottle. “Do you buy those in bulk?” You ask with a laugh.

Charles gasps in exaggerated outrage. “Buy from the enemy? Never!” He screws the cap on tightly and gives you a sly grin. “Max and I have an arrangement.”

“An arrangement?” You echo in surprise. This is news to you.

Charles nods, looking pleased with himself. “Yes, a secret trade deal. I provide him cappuccinos from the Ferrari cafe and Max supplies me with as much Red Bull as I need.”

You burst out laughing. “Are you serious? You and Max smuggle each other contraband caffeinated drinks?”

“Shh, not so loud!” Charles glances around furtively, but the motorhome is empty except for the two of you. “It must remain a secret.”

Still chuckling, you lower your voice conspiratorially. “So the great Charles Leclerc betrays his team for energy drinks. The Tifosi would riot if they knew!”

Charles winces dramatically. “Do not say such things! It is not betrayal, merely … creative problem solving.” He takes a long swig of Red Bull and grins. “The taste of the enemy is sweet.”

“I can’t believe you drink that stuff. And I can’t believe Max is your supplier!” You shake your head in amusement. “Does anyone else know about this arrangement of yours?”

“Only Lando. We needed a neutral third party to broker the deal and make the exchanges.” Charles leans in with a playful smile. “So do not be getting any ideas about exposing our scheme, yes?”

You mimic zipping your lips. “My lips are sealed … as long as you share some of that!”

Charles pretends to think about it for a second before breaking into a grin and handing you the bottle. The carbonated liquid fizzes pleasantly on your tongue, the familiar flavor mingling with the surrealness of drinking Red Bull from a Ferrari bottle. You take one more sip then hand it back to Charles.

“Just don’t let Fred or Christian find out,” you warn teasingly. “Pretty sure this counts as treason.”

Charles just laughs. “They turn a blind eye. The team knows I perform best when properly caffeinated.” He caps the bottle and adds, “But no more for you, ma belle. I only have a limited supply!”

You pout dramatically. “Fine, keep your precious Red Bull. I guess I’ll just have to tell everyone what’s really in your water bottle!”

The can of Red Bull that Charles rushes to give you tastes even sweeter than usual.

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yuutx · 4 months

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ೀ ׅ ۫ . 𝐏𝐄𝐆 𝐌𝐄, 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘 ! ! (𝒞𝐻𝒪𝒮𝒪 𝒦𝒜𝑀𝒪)

choso kamo x f!reader . 18+ content. ⟆ nsfw. mommy kink. spanking. pegging. praise kink. implications of aftercare. ⟆ msub + fdom ⟆ not proofread ! ‎꒰ ⸝⸝ ˊ͈ ˘ ˋ͈ ⸝⸝ ꒱

i was gonna write a super mean reader x choso fic but we'll save that for next timeee ! ♡ + ↻ are rlly appreciated ! !

His eyes fluttered open, a blurry ceiling above him, a slight chill that enveloped his bare skin. His hair was splayed out around his head, his hands bound to the bedpost with a silk tie. Choso's mouth was parted, his face flushed red as he let out short, hot breaths, the sweat that formed on his brow glistened under the light of the room. His heart pounded in his chest, his cock aching as he struggled against the restraints that kept him bound to the bed. His hips thrust into the air, his body yearning for your touch, your love, the heat that you radiated. His tongue was heavy in his mouth, the saliva that pooled under it threatened to spill from his lips, his body was burning up and he knew that only you could quench this unbearable heat.

You sat back on your haunches, admiring your work. Your hair fell over your shoulders, your lips slightly bruised and your skin was littered with hickeys and love bites, a thin sheen of sweat coated your skin as you licked your lips, taking in the sight before you. Choso lay there, his eyes hooded, his lips parted as his breathless pleas spilled from them, his hips bucking up, his cock hard and weeping, pre-cum dribbling down the shaft.

Hickeys, bites, and scratch marks marred his perfect skin, the evidence of his desire and submission clear for all to see. You smiled, licking your lips as you looked down at his desperate cock, his hips stuttering, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he fucked into the air. You reached over grabbing the lube, drizzling a generous amount onto your fingers. You tossed the bottle aside, your hands moving to circle his puckered entrance. Choso hissed, his eyes squeezing shut, his cock jumping as he tried to press back onto your finger, the slick digit rubbing along his entrance.

The strap you were wearing, was the only piece of clothing you wore. The leather harness clung to your waist and thighs, the silicon dildo bobbing in front of you. The eyes of the man beneath you followed every movement of the toy, his mouth watering as he imagined your strap filling him up.

You leaned forward, the tip of your finger breaching his hole, a groan rumbling deep in Choso's throat as his back arched. His hands gripped the silk ties that held him down, his teeth digging into his bottom lip, a whimper spilling from his lips. You leaned down, your lips brushing the shell of his ear.

"What's wrong, baby? Don't you like my fingers?" you snickered, a second finger joining the first. You began to move them, spreading them, scissoring them, curling them, opening him up for the cock that rested between your thighs. Choso keened, his hands fisting the sheets beneath him, his body rocking in tandem with your movements. Your name left his lips in a soft chant, a prayer, a plea. He was desperate for more, for anything you could give him. "Mommy.. mommy.. please, please… mommy.." he moaned, his voice cracking as you added a third finger, the stretch burning him, the slight pain adding to his pleasure. "N-need it.. need more.." Choso's breathless begs had you biting your lip, a fire growing inside of you.

You loved to hear him beg, his voice breathless and desperate, the way his tongue slurred his words, and his eyes filled with unshed tears as he looked up at you. You groaned, lifting his body slightly and twisting the bindings. His arms were now crossed behind his back, the silk tying his wrists together, his face pressing into the pillows beneath him, the curve of his back accentuated by his new position. Choso's knees dug into the mattress, his cock resting against his belly, smearing pre-cum along his abdomen. He whimpered, the ache between his legs becoming too much for him.

You moved behind him, gripping his hip with one hand, while the other guided the tip of the dildo to his stretched hole. You watched his back rise and fall, his breaths heavy and uneven, his muscles rippling beneath his skin as he trembled beneath your touch. You slowly sunk into him, inch by inch, the dildo stretching his insides. Choso threw his head back, his mouth falling open in a scream, his eyes wide, his body trembling. He gasped, his head falling forward as you bottomed out, your hips flush against his ass.

"Fuck, baby.. look how well you're taking mommy. Taking me so well, my good boy.." you purred, your hands gripping his hips tightly. You gave him a moment to adjust, his walls clamping down on the toy, the tightness making it difficult for you to pull out. Choso was gasping for air, his body still shaking. He let out a shaky sigh when you pulled out halfway before sinking back into him, the slow thrust making him feel every inch of the toy, every bump and groove on it.

You kept your grip tight on his hips, pulling him back as you snapped your hips forward. You set a fast, steady pace, your cock slamming into him with every thrust. Your poor baby could barely keep himself up, his arms were limp in the snug ties, his body being rocked back and forth as he buried his face into the pillows beneath him, causing his screams and cries to be muffled. Your hands moved up to his ass, pinching the supple flesh, watching as his ass jiggled from the impact of your movements.

Choso's cock was twitching uncontrollably, a string of pre-cum connecting the tip to the bed. He wanted nothing more than to touch himself, but the bindings kept his hands tied. The friction of his cock against the bedsheets was not enough for him, his body ached for release, his head fuzzy as you continued to slam into his prostate. He couldn't speak, his words coming out in choked gasps, his moans and cries spurring you on. "I-I can't- Oo-oh fuck-" he managed to stutter out, the words dying in his throat. "G-gonna.. mommy- m-mommy-" he cried, his voice cracking, a sob wracking his body as he struggled to form a coherent sentence. He was so close, his stomach tightening, the familiar heat pooling in the pit of his stomach. Your hands slid up the curve of his ass before a loud 'SMACK!' rang out, the slap echoing in the room, the stinging of his skin made Choso cry out, his back arching, his body quivering. You gripped his ass, giving the abused flesh a tight squeeze as your hips slammed into him with a practiced precision. "That's a good boy, cum for mommy, let go baby.. Show mommy how much you love her." you murmured, your thrusts becoming erratic as you allowed him to fall apart.

"T-Thank y-youuu mommy! F-fuck.. oh, fuck! G-gonna cum s-so fuck-fucking much! A-ah, ah!" his words slurred, his head spinning as his cock rubbed against the bedsheets, his body jerking violently, a hoarse scream leaving his lips as his cum coated the bedsheets below, ropes of his sticky essence spilling from the tip. "F-fu-fuck-k-k-" his body continued to jerk, his hips humping the bed, riding out his orgasm. Your hands were still on his ass, massaging the reddened flesh, your hips slowly coming to a stop. "There we go~ Look at that pretty cock, all spent and messy.." you whispered, leaning forward, your lips brushing his ear. "Did such a good job for me baby, I'm so proud of you.." you purred, planting a gentle kiss on the back of his neck, your lips trailing down the expanse of his back, the gentle touches soothing the trembling man beneath you.

You tried slipping out of him, the sudden friction making him moan softly, his body too tired and sensitive to do much else. "So.. so good mommy.." he managed to mumble out, his voice was hoarse, his throat sore, and his eyes heavy. He let out a soft whimper when you finally pulled out, his body slumping down onto the bed, his eyes closing as exhaustion took over. You untied the bindings, rubbing the raw skin, pressing a gentle kiss to his wrists, a soft smile gracing your features.

You carefully turned him over, his chest rising and falling steadily, a few strands of hair stuck to his face. You gently brushed the hair out of his face, leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on his forehead.

"Let's get you cleaned up, gorgeous.."

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steddielations · 4 months

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Upstaged | Part 2 | Part 1

It all makes sense.

When Eddie comes back from taking photos with the fans, he looks a little sheepish for the first time. Steve has about a million things to ask, mostly he just wants to laugh about the fucking odds, but he remembers the grace Eddie extended to him about the press ordeal.

Instead, he settles back with his lime soda and a simple question, “So, what kind of music are you into?”

A grateful smile breaks out across Eddie’s face, ecstatic to dive into that with Steve. Their lunch extends into dinner. Steve doesn’t have anywhere to be these days and Eddie practically jumps up and down when the meeting he was in the area for gets canceled. They stay there for a couple more hours, just talking.

Their music taste overlaps at certain points, Eddie talks about how getting his first guitar from the pawn shop pretty much saved him, Steve recounts a little league story that makes Eddie laugh so hard he chokes on his soda.

It’s the most monumentally casual time Steve’s ever had with a new friend in public and he’s not ready for it to end. Even after exchanging numbers and promising to meet up again, they still linger together outside.

“So uh, I remember where I know you from now."

Eddie leans against the side of the building. It’s getting dark, they’re tucked away from any eyes so Steve freely scoots closer to Eddie, waiting for him to explain. He does after a moment, seeming nervous and fiddling with his rings.

“I hate to ask, but my Uncle is huge into baseball, especially you and your general all-around-awesome thing. There weren’t players like you to look up to when he was young, all that. I’ve seen you on his tv so many times, you’re basically part of the family— ah shit, that’s weird, sorry,” he cringes a little, scrunching his nose in a way that makes Steve’s chest clench with affection, “But he’s getting old and like I said earlier, he’s my rock, he raised me and I won’t forgive myself if I don’t at least ask you to come see him sometime.”

The way he rambles is pretty endearing, looking at Steve with a wide-eyed hopeful expression, as if there was even a chance Steve would say no.

He reaches out, gently takes Eddie’s hand to stop his restless fidgeting, “You want me to meet your folks already, hm?”

Eddie lets out an amused scoff, looking down at their hands and back at Steve like he can’t believe it. “You’re not as funny as you think you are, Steve.”

Steve knits his brows, “Why’s that?”

“C’mon man. Y’know how hard it is to find someone who can handle this lifestyle, let alone all the shit that comes with me,” shaking his head a little, Eddie smiles but there’s something aching in it, “Then the nicest looking guy I’ve ever seen comes outta nowhere and saves my life, agrees to go to lunch, happens too know as well as me that life in the limelight ain’t always pretty and turns out to be one of the best people I’ve ever met.”

His fingers thread through Steve’s, holding tight like he’s not sure it’s real. “Even if I never see you again, I’m gonna write songs about you. I’d take you home and keep you right now if I could, but that’s not happening.”

There’s a part of Steve he’s kept shut down for years that comes pumping through his veins then, hot and alive. He realizes that he’s been trying so hard to keep his life as normal as possible that he’s been missing out on actually living it. Now he has this wonderful, crazy, wonderful man spontaneously in front of him and he’s not letting him slip away.

Steve moves in, slowly crowding Eddie against the wall. Eddie’s eyes go a little wide with surprise then darken with desire. Steve watches his face shift through so many emotions, his mouth parting with a soft gasp, wanting this just as badly as Steve.

“Wanna bet?” Steve asks before he crashes into Eddie again.

This time it’s a hot press of lips instead of a full-body collision, but it’s just as breathtaking.

Steve deepens the kiss, thrill prickling all across his skin when Eddie opens up for him right away. Steve licks passed the bright hint of lime on their tongues to get to Eddie. The heady taste of him makes Steve’s world spin, all the desperate noises between them going straight to his head.

“Want you so bad, Eddie, wanna keep you too,” he threads his fingers into all that hair, reveling in the shiver it elicits from Eddie, “God, just wanna have you.”

Eddie chases his lips, “You can, Steve, you can have me— please do.”

Steve loves the sound of that, going in for a longer, more indulgent kiss before pulling back.

“You can’t take me home tonight,” he professes hotly against Eddie’s lips, “My place is closer, you’re coming with me.”

#and at some point eddie admits that he's jerked off to steve's magazine covers before #might keep this going we'll see #steddie #steddie fic #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #rockstar eddie munson #famous eddie munson #famous steve harrington #rueswriting

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diordeer · 2 months

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౨ৎ BEWITCHED

“you bewitch me every damn second you're with me, i try to think straight but I'm falling so badly, i’m coming apart, you wrote me a note, cast a spell on my heart” - laufey (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x model!reader

description: me looking at my 50 drafts, choosing to ignore them and to do a new fic that i most likely wont finish for another week

requested by: anon 🫣

Liked by zendaya, iamcharliebushnell and others

yn.ln thank you so much for having me ! ❤️

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user1 WHAT IS CHARLIE DOING THERE?!

↳ yn.ln idk i just randomly found him and now he keeps following me around

↳ iamcharliebushnell ok first of all i do not keep following you around

↳ yn.ln you literally flew with me to the show i was in

↳ iamcharliebushnell that is NOT the point

↳ user8 thats so cute 😖

user2 ugh you are so gorgeous i cantt

user3 yn devours EVERY time 😍😍

syndey_sweeney i lovee youu

↳ yn.ln love u more pooks

walker.scobell why is HE there 😟

↳ iamcharliebushnell what did i do?!!

↳ yn.ln you’ve always done something

↳ walker.scobell ^^^

zendaya 😍😍😍😍

↳ yn.ln ahh love u !

user4 to be yn, or to be with yn?

↳ iamcharliebushnell i pick be with

↳ user4 HELLO?!

↳ user5 WHAT?

↳ yn.ln 😦🫢

↳ user6 WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

↳ aryansimhadri charlie…

↳ user7 u guys r so dramatic

Liked by walker.scobell, aryansimhadri and others

iamcharliebushnell just working… working hard to please ya 😉

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user1 oh thats so yn

user2 NO BUT LIKE WHATS HAPPENING WITH HIM AND YN?!

↳ user3 REAL LIKE THEY R JUST POSTING PHOTOS OF EACH OVER WITH NO CONTEXT

user4 belieber charlie?!

user10 ok… ignoring the elephant in the room, charlies real cute in those photos 🫣

walker.scobell be so for real charlie

↳ iamcharliebushnell i am “so for real”

yn.ln save that for the dms 🙄

↳ user7 THESE PEOPLE-

↳ iamcharliebushnell my sincerest apology 🧎

user6 is justin beiber real

dior.n.goodjohn this is low even for you

↳ iamcharliebushnell the hate?!

↳ leahsavajeffries its true

user8 wait so are they actually dating?

↳ user6 idk bc like they post each over very suggestively but never actually announced anything?

↳ user9 do they really need to announce anything though… like they are VERY obvious

yn.ln just posted on their story

Seen by sydney_sweeney, dior.n.goodjohn and others

Liked by dior.n.goodjohn, ayoedebiri and others

yn.ln we are just really good friends 🤷‍♀️

tagged iamcharliebushnell

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user1 THE GRIP

user2 OH MY GOD?!

dior.n.goodjohn im so shocked! Im so suprised! I never saw this coming!

↳ walker.scobell what a turn of tables!

↳ aryansimhadri i jumped in shock!

↳ leahsavajeffries watch mojo top plot twists!

↳ iamcharliebushnell 😕

user3 we ALL saw this coming lets be honest

↳ user2 STILL?! OMG! GOING CRAZY!!

iamcharliebushnell so quoting justin beiber, and following people around works!

↳ yn.ln oh! thats not-

↳ user4 mans gonna accidentally start a chain of stalkers

user5 OMGG DREAM COUPLE

user6 does anyone know how they actually met eachover?

↳ user7 probs through friends, yn knows like everyone

user8 the only thing shocking about this is how LONG it took them to be official

taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities @b0ok-lover @vamplyle

#charlie bushnell x reader #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #social media au #aesthetic #charlie bushnell #in the know #x reader #smau #model!reader

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secretlotsixam · 2 years

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also heres the last pic from that last post without the dialogue bc im kind of obsessed w the composition lmao

#straud extras #btw if ur just now jumping onto (gestures) This nonsense. & cant make heads or tails out of it then feel absolutely free to /#/ read back through the straud story tag on my blog (or don't! thats cool too have fun however u like)#if you read back well. a lot of this still wont make sense but at least some of it will!#the editing IS ass (like /actual/ ass) i do have 2 warn you but the words are readable at every stage #i make sure to get big clear fonts #i'll rewrite it all as a script at some point and put it as a beeg chapter-summarizing post at some point #i should do that for the prologue LMAO well.#also like some of the stuff doesn't make sense YET #i'm going places here #i will probably take a break at the end of ch.1 if only to . uh. play through ch.2 bc my save died just as i ended ch.1 #and anyway the beginning of ch.2 is gonna necessitate a new save

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sixosix · 6 months

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requested by anon!! hope u enjoy, warning for profanity, fluff

As soon as Wanderer’s eyes laid upon the ball of fluff in your palms, he had said with a disdainful glare to “discard of that at once.”

But you aren’t having any of it. The little kitten curled up by your chest is looking up at you so adorably that you simply can’t discard it, no matter what your boyfriend might say. In fact, the shade of the cat reminds you of his eyes—but saying that would provoke him further, and you’re already on thin ice, letting the cute stray run around your shared home while he makes a face at each sight of its fur.

You coo as the kitten licks your nose when you hold him up to your face. “Do I name him after you? Can I name him after you? I’m naming him after you.”

His eyes narrow, glaring at the impossibly tiny space between you and the animal. “You are not naming it after me.”

“Kuni,” you negotiate. Not that he has a choice anyway because you already have your mind set on it. “Kuni, baby, are you hungry? Do you want some food?”

Your Kunikuzushi bristles, hackles rising. “Seriously? You’re doing this?”

The cat, as if beckoned by his voice, paws at him. “Meow,” the little kitten says softly. Wanderer, to the cat’s dismay, doesn’t respond; he simply rises from his seat and leaves.

So it’s established that you’ve long accepted that Wanderer is not fond of your new pet.

A crying shame because the cat adores him. You don’t know if there’s anything deep to his hatred for your new stray or if he’s just jealous that your undivided attention is no longer on him, but you took pity and decided to own the responsibility of taking care of it.

Which makes it a surprise to come home one day and see your boyfriend nestled against your bed with the kitten curled up on his chest, meowing as he smiles faintly and rubs its head with a finger.

“What? Don’t tell me you’re hungry again?” he murmurs. If you had been in another room, you wouldn't have heard it yourself. “Don’t get too greedy.”

Your breath hitches, too afraid to shatter this moment by bursting into the room. Then again, you should’ve realized that the cat has been sticking too long around him too often without something at play. Perhaps the reason why it’s so fond of your boyfriend is because of secret tender moments like this.

“Your owner will get mad at me if I overfeed you,” he says conspiratorially, rubbing his finger against the cat’s chin while it purrs and nuzzles its face further into his palm for more.

Your heart melts, a tiny noise escaping your lips at the sight of the ever-so-haughty Wanderer on the bed, all but cuddling with your pet.

Wanderer’s eyes snap the crack of the door, perfectly meeting yours as if he knew all along that you were there. “Not a word.”

You gasp, enough to startle Wanderer and make him jump but not enough to wake the sleeping kitten on his hat. Lambad’s Tavern is a little empty, with only an adult or two hanging around to drink their sorrows away or loosen up to their heart's content. And you and your boyfriend are tucked in the far corner, where no one would bother to peep.

“Kunikuzushi!” you cry out, hands hovering around his head in panic. “Kuni, careful, what if Kuni falls?”

Kunikuzushi the human(?)’s face twists in confusion. “You should have never named it that.”

“Kuni,” you hiss as his movements have caused the cat to stir, yet miraculously not wake. “Don’t let him fall, ‘kay? God, I can’t bring myself to even leave my seat.”

He sighs, long and heavy. “I’m not going to drop him. Have more faith in me, will you? I have a better sense of balance than any of you in this Tavern combined.”

“But what if he falls and you accidentally attack him by trying to save him?”

“I’m not gonna wind blade the fucking cat.”

You’re staring at the kitten, who is, unfortunately, looking all too much at home on Wanderer’s hat as if it’s more comfortable than his own bed at home. It’s even worse that Wanderer spoils the cat rotten and lets him sleep wherever he wants. Now, wherever he walks, he has a tiny animal asleep on the top of his head.

Wanderer huffs, squeezing your mouth with a hand to prevent you from arguing. “If you love the cat, you will get us food and avoid waking it up with your yapping, got it?”

“Aw,” you smile, “you don’t wanna wake him up?”

He scowls. “Are you going to let us starve?”

The sight of him and the kitten looks too adorable. You can’t resist from agreeing to whatever Kuni the human is ordering you to do. You rise from your seat, leaving but not forgetting to kiss the cat’s head and Wanderer’s cheek, who flushes brightly and grumbles but doesn’t complain.

#606:GENSHIN #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche x you #genshin impact x you #wanderer x you #genshin x reader #genshin drabble #scaramouche drabble #wanderer fluff

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kimhargreeves · 8 months

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A Flashy Act-Buggy x Reader (One Piece Live Action)

Summary: You and Luffy find yourself with new members for your small pirate crew, quickly after stealing the map to the grand line, you're all kidnapped by a crew of pirates.

(Based on the One Piece Live Action!! since no one has written about Buggy which has surprised me. Enjoy this one shot Buggy fans!! You guys can decide if you want part 2 to include smut or not😩 next part will be written depending on how well people like this🤡)

"You know I'm gonna be king of the pirates. It's the first time I've had a ship like this." Luffy excitedly told the ginger haired girl.

"I know you've told me that many times already. Can you please be silent for once?" She asked getting annoyed by Luffy's constant talking.

"You be quiet. The kid's just excited." The green man known as Zoro told Nami.

Nami was trying to open the lock which was protecting the map inside.

Both of them unexpectedly helped us, when Luffy and I broke inside to find the map to the grand line, with a bit of help from Koby who had been kidnapped by Alvida. Thankfully Luffy saved him, the young boy said he wanted to join the Marines.

Luffy and I had entered and quickly met Nami and Zoro. Zoro was tied up with Nami dressed as a Marine trying to also have the map Luffy and I were after.

I have been by Luffy's side since many years now. Since he was a small boy, I am only just a couple of years older but I was the second person who raised him. The first being my older brother,l Shanks.

Just earlier the four of us were fighting a couple of Marine soldiers with Axe Hand Morgan trying to stop us, and almost did. If it weren't for Zoro and Luffy's help then we might've already been executed.

"He's just being enthusiastic about all of this. There's no need to be so mean." I said glaring at Nami and she glared back as well.

I decided to not say anything else to her so I walked over to where Luffy was holding onto his straw hat.

He had a smile on his face when he turned to look back at me. "Can you believe this, (Y/N). We finally have have a crew. I can only imagine the look on his face if he were to see me."

"I know he'll be proud. You're slowly becoming a true pirate." I nudge his shoulder and saw him smiling as he stared at the dark skies.

"I think we all make a pretty good team."

"Why do you even protect that hat so much. It looks like to fished it out of the trash."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure." Luffy replied to Nami when she spotted him holding onto the hat.

We all looked back and saw Nami has successfully managed to open the lock. "You did it!" Nami picked the map and unrolled it. With the four of us standing close looking down at it.

Luffy didn't get it or understood where the Grand Line is, so Nami began drawing it for him so he could understand it better. Rogers treasure is hidden somewhere in there.

A loud sort of bomb was heard with the sky now turning red. We all ran out of the ship and saw something explode in the sky. Zoro was the first to fall to the floor and Nami began to cough before she collapsed.

Oh shit. I tried to cover my mouth and nose but to was too late and I also fell to the floor and collapsed.

"Shhh (Y/N)."

I jumped up a bit and opened my eyes to see Luffy a bit too close to me. I rubbed my eyes and tried to stand up but saw that the four of us were inside of a wooden box.

"What..how did we get here?"

"It wasn't the Marines work. Before we all collapsed, I saw a ship heading towards us." Luffy said with Zoro quickly replying to him.

"It'll be easy then. Marines have training. Pirates don't."

We all were quickly met with circus music when the top of the box was removed along with the rest of the box. What the hell?

Zoro, Nami and I looked at each other weirdly when we looked at our surroundings. We were inside of a huge circus tent.

Red and white colored stripes with lights decorating the place, weird looking people and a crowd that were seated but we're tied by their ankles.

The crowd continued to clap with Luffy doing the same but Nami and I stopped him.

"No no no. Stop clapping! It's all wrong"

The four of us looked over at where the voice was coming from and we all looked to our left, and saw a tall man come through dressed entirely as a clown.

Long coat, bright blue long hair with exaggerated makeup and a red clown nose.

"The spotlight was late, it missed my entrance. And where oh where is the lion?" He said standing close to a man with white bear ears?

"Heyy. I know you." Luffy said which made me look back at him wishing he hadn't spoken.The man with blue hair turned to look at us. Wait..Luffy is right, we've seen him before.

"I saw your Wanted poster at Shell's town. You're the clown guy..umm..uhh. Binky, right?" He asked.

I nudged Luffy's shoulder. "Shut up, Luffy. That's Buggy." I muttered seeing that the clown kept his eyes on us.

"Buggy." The pirate corrected and grinned. "Buggy the Clown. Buggy, the Flashy Fool. Buggy, the Genius Jester." He said when no one spoke, seems like no one here knows about him.

"That one beside you seems to be the only one who's heard about me." I felt nervous when his blue eyes landed on me and he smiled.

I had only heard of him, and saw him on the Wanted poster. But I swear I must've at least since him once before…

He's creepy..but weirdly find him attractive. Maybe it's just my brain distracting myself from danger, who knows.

Luffy seemed impressed, "Wow. You have a lot of names."

I nodded my head and looked at Luffy, "He does. Everyone in the East Blue knows who he is."

"What did you just say?" His expression changed when I suddenly said that. Which made me confused.

"That everyone knows who you are?"

"Nose?!" I was paralyzed when Buggy came over and was now holding onto my face.

"Are you making fun of my nose?" He said a bit too close to me.

"I swear I wasn't! But..now that you mention it, is that thing real?" I asked genuinely wanting to know.

Buggy tilted his head as he stared at me, "You're kinda cute." He hummed and grinned

I saw Luffy's hand slowly started to try and tough the clowns nose until he smacked his hand away. The clown grinned looking down at me and stepped back letting go of me.

"You think you're so clever… What's real is I've been scheming for months to steal that map from old Axe Hand Moron. Only to find out that I was upstaged by four little nobodies, who stole it from right under my no-…No!! It's in my head now."

"Hey! I'm not a nobody. I'm Monkey D. Luffy. And I will be king of the pirates." My best friend said making Buggy laugh.

"Oh! Now that's funny. My bounty poster graces the marquee of every Marine Outpost for miles. And my menagerie of outcasts and freaks is the most dreaded pirate crew the East blue has ever known. I am destined to find One Piece. And when I do. I will be King."

"No, you won't. 'Cause I'm gonna find it first." Luffy told him.

Zoro stepped between us and looked at the other clowns behind Buggy. "I am Roronoa Zoro. Drop your weapons now and I may let you live."

This made Buggy laugh while looking at the green haired stoic man.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a celebrity in our midst. Too bad I hate sharing the spotlight. Now, maybe we should skip right to the finale."

Buffy retrieve a set of blades and smiled at us.

"My freaks put quite a bit of a rehearsal time into this little abduction. And if I can reward them with that map.. I suppose I'll have to offer them a pound of flesh instead."

Nami stepped between Luffy and I now, now looking at Buggy. "Wait. What if I have something else to offer you? Something more valuable than the map? What if I give you a new freak for your crew?"

"A rare talent. The most spectacular act in all the East Blue. Besides you, of course."

Nami glanced back at me and I glared back. Nami has grabbed Luffy's straw hat and tossed it up, just when Luffy showed his devil fruit powers, Nami left running.

"That little bitch." I whispered glaring at where she left.

It wasn't long at all when they brought her back and she revealed that Buggy's crew had destroyed the entire town.

He shrugged his shoulders as he stared at her. "Not everything. I let 'em keep their hands."

The sign for "clap" was lifted again, making the poor towns people begin to clap.

All the lights were suddenly focused on Buggy again. "I know one of you has my map, and I'm going to get it back." He said in a serious voice now.

"What was it you said, Rubber boy? That ir was in a safe place. Don't look so surprised. I got eyes and ears everywhere."

"I know where it is." I spoke up making all eyes turn to look at me.

I began to laugh as I showed the clowns and Buffy my middle finger. "You can all suck it or shove it up your asses.

Buffy clapped and at the people surrounding him. "Okay! Let's make our guests uncomfortable in the green room." A few clowns came to grab Nami and Zoro.

While another pair came to grab Luffy, Buggy stood behind me grabbed my neck and grinned looking at Luffy and looking back down at me.

"And I am gonna have a chat with our new pals.."

#buggy the clown #buggy #buggy x reader #buggy smut #one piece live action #netflix #anime #opla spoilers #op live action #one piece netflix #one piece x reader #one piece

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sitkainsnow · 1 month

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Desperately need a fic from a police officer’s pov and they watch SuperBat interactions bc like all the cops either hate or love Bats, but are still kinda terrified of him, but ofc Supes is all sunshine and smiles and “He’s my best friend y’all!” And they KNOW bats probably totally has kryptonite and an attitude worse than the devil.

So they end up in a situation where they’re working together and Batman in taking with the police and Superman’s standing behind him waving and smiling at everyone while Batman is giving single-word or just huffs for answers. And then Superman freezes and cocks his head and to everyone’s surprise grabs Batman by the shoulder and whispers something in his ear and then what’s more surprising is Batman doesn’t even mind as he wraps his own arm around Supes and then they’re gone in a blur of blue and Black. All the cops are just left standing there like 🧍‍♂️shocked bc Bats didn’t mind Supes touching him.

Or another instance where it’s after this big battle in Gotham and it’s with whatever villain but Superman is there too and the villain had kryptonite. Anyways so after the battle Bats is talking to the police and handing over the villain and Superman comes over after talking to the civilians, picks Bats up by the scruff mid sentence politely nods to the officers he was talking too, and moves him a couple feet away and just starts yelling at Bats abt how stupid it is for him to run around jumping in the way of heavy blows EVEN if they have kryptonite and Bats just scoffs and turns his head away and all the police on the area watch as Superman and Batman argue about how stupid it is to risk your life to save the other (they both did it) completely oblivious to their audience and the police whose POV it’s in just thinks “god they sound like a married couple. Wouldn’t it be crazy if the two of the worlds greatest hero’s were actually a couple lmao. But that’s crazy they’re just really good friends”

Gordon watched all this trying not to blow his fuse bc yes, Batman does need to be yelled at, and yes, he does need to prioritize his safety more, but NO, you don’t need to be having your lovers quarrel in front of the whole damn GCPD.

Or in another instance Batman racks up a bunch of charges on him for whatever reason and the GCPD by luck manages to arrest him and so here comes Superman trying to bail his partner(in more ways than one) out of prison and the police are like “we’re really sorry Mr. Superman sir but we can’t legally do that” and Supes goes “what the hell did he even do” and so the officer goes “Property Damage, unlawful violence, arson, punched a cop in the face and broke his nose, caught carrying weed which is illegal in the state of New Jersey, multiple -and I mean multiple- unpaid speeding tickets. Oh, and the DMV wanted us to talk to him about his unregistered Batmobile and Batbike.”and Supes is about to cry as he quietly asks “Okay, so how much is bail” And the officer looks away and mumbled “sixteen grand” and Supes gasps and cries out “I don’t get paid enough for sixteen grand!!”

However thirty minutes later Supes is back at the GCPD station shakily counting out bills bc he can’t use a check or card (obvi) sweating heavily and looking extremely pained. The cops don’t even ask where he got all those bills so quickly and just watch him and another 30minutes later Bats is out and Supes is shaking him by his shoulder shouting “so who’s gonna lag me back!! Who’s gonna reimburse me for for 16k?? Whose gonna apologize for the heart palpitations you gave me?? Whose gonna apologize for all the gray hairs this is going to give me?? You’re giving me gray hairs all the time B!! I can’t do this!!” And Batman just sighs and pats Superman on the back as they walk out of the station and Superman is mumbling about bank credit and loans and how bad he looks with wrinkle lines and gray hair sounding like he’s about to cry.

Meanwhile the police try not to loose their minds throughout this whole interaction and Gordon’s just staring at the door blankly smoking a cigar and the police whose POV it’s in looks at the cigar a little bit closer and goes “That smells like weed” and Gordon looks at her and just says “I feel for Superman a bit more than I want to”

#superbat #batman #bruce wayne #superman #clark kent #superman x batman #jim gordon

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