#Herschel the Hanukkah Goblin
Text
So the tire-eating potholes in my neighborhood finally killed both my rear tires and I had to get that dealt with, but while they were getting replaced, I put the dogs in puppy daycare and upon picking them up early, the attendant literally sprinted to the front desk, grabbed me by the shoulders and breathlessly exclaimed "YOUNEEDTOCOMESEEWHATYOURDOGSAREDOING"
While she escorted me back to the play yards, she explained that every time they have more than three Corgi, they have to put all the Corgs in a separate play yard because they turn into a little gang and bully the Very Large dogs by playing Cow Herding Simulator 5000 with them, and especially if Herschel is there, because corgis are bossy-pants dogs, and Herschel has the bossiest pants of them all and acts as leader.
Despite being a little Don Corgleone to the short bitch mafia, Hershcel is also a Huge Baby and will apparently cry and cry and try to climb the fence and cry and eat people's shoelaces and cry if he is separated from Charlie during playtime, so this means any time that "Corgi Party" is happening, Charlie also has to go to Corgi party, despite being full-height, running cat software and a senior citizen. he copes with being Gulliver amongst the Liliputians by climbing onto the roof of the playskool castle they have for a climbing structure in the yard, kicking the ladder down behind him, and stretching out to nap in the sun while the corgi frolic and gambol around him.
Corgi are dogs that make up and play games with secret rules, like kindergartners. "Everyone bark in sync" is a popular game, as is "follow the leader" and it's companion game "March in a circle around a tall structure like ants caught in a death loop".
So what I was greeted with, when the attendant and I snuck out to the play yard, was the sight of Charlie, sound asleep and flat on his back with his paws crossed over his chest because sighthounds sleep in the stupidest fucking positions, on top of a faux-medieval castle with gargoyles on the corners, surrounded by approximately seven Corgi, all trotting in a circle around him, barking in sync.
"They look like they're preforming some kind of ritual!" giggled the attendant as attempted to get my phone to focus.
"Yeah, they're gonna summon Corgtulhu." I said.
Unfortunately, this made the attendant literally fall on her ass laughing, and distracted Herschel and his compatriots, so they didn't get to complete the summons, and I didn't get the pic.
The attendant kept laughing because apparently she's new to puns, and had mostly gotten it under control by the time we got everyone's leashes on and back out to the front.
The manager was watching the front desk, bemused. Did you get to see them doing the ritual?"
"YEAH!" shrieks the attendant, still excitable with merriment. "THEY'RE- THEY WERE-" The attendant ends up giggling on the floor.
"You okay there Katie?" asked the manager with minimal concern.
"We think they were trying to summon Corgthulhu." I eplain, and Katie screams from the floor. "Wasn't gonna work though, you need a virgin sacrifice and Charlie had an STD when we got him."
It was the manager's turn to shriek. and for Charlie and Herschel to start barking in solidarity.
"That's right Charlie! Your sluttiness saved the world!" I told him, as he jumped up and kicked me in the face.
Anyway, that's why Charlie's nickname at daycare is now "Superman(whore)"
---
If you found this story amusing, please consider donating to my Ko-fi or pre-ordering the Family Lore book on my Patreon so I can buy the good dogs more treats.
30K notes
·
View notes
Text
Herschel the Hannukah Goblin: From Tumblr! Scroll through his tag
Mushi: Another real dog enters the tournament. With pictures here
Vincent: From Lost. The definition of emotional support dog. He stayed through the thick and thin with the humans and as such deserves a spot here!
Watzie: Monster High
Digby: The biggest dog in the world. I mean... He's an absolute unit. Just really really big. I would like to use him as a giant plushie
Sadaharu: Gintama! Started as a feral lifeform bent on destruction and ended up not trying to kill the protagonist as frequently. He's absolutely adorable and so huge
Mr Peanutbutter: From Bojack horseman a tv star with a golden retriever personality. Get it? It's a joke you see? Because he's literally a... uh a golden... Yeah he's a–
All those dalmatians from that one movie: A lot of dalmatians, at least more than four from the classic Disney Movie
#dog bracket#tumblr bracket#dog tournament#tumblr tournament#herschel the hanukkah goblin#mushi#Vincent#Watzie#Digby#sadaharu#mr peanutbutter#101 dalmatians#prelims
610 notes
·
View notes
Text
Aziraphale, Crowley, Herschel of Ostropol, Chanukah, and a story...
Sooo there's no way I can think of (and I have been thinking on this a lot) that this post isn't going to be a little bit awkward, but it's going to exist anyway.
A year ago, in 2022, I saw this post from 2021 by @anonymousdandelion on Aziraphale and Crowley meeting Herschel of Ostropol (protagonist of Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins, a Jewish children's book, as well as a Jewish folkloric figure).
Then, a) being Jewish and Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins being a fondly remembered book from my childhood, b) someone who enjoys Good Omens, c) also a fic writer and, d) the idea being adoptable, I started to write a story.
(and okay, it's taken me roughly a year to give it a solid shape (long story short that's less to do with the story itself and more to do with me figuring some things out about what and who I want to write for, but I digress), but the fic itself very much exists now.)
I planned to have the full Chapter 1 done in time for Chanukah this year. Due to life in general being pretty chaotic, that hasn't happened. Instead, under the read more is a preview (the first scene of chapter 1), because I still wanted to post some part of it for the holiday.
Some Fic Notes:
-This story is, arguably, two stories intertwined. One that takes place in the 'present day' (though before the Apocalypse, etc.), and one that takes place during the Herschel story.
-It will largely follow the perspective of and by driven by OCs. Though, Aziraphale and Crowley will have a strong presence and influence, it didn't feel like it was their story to tell.
-It is written with two base structural rules in mind;
Aziraphale and Crowley had a hand in the stories of Herschel of Ostropol being remembered. The original kernel this fic was built around and expanded from was answering the question of how that happens.
There can be absolutely no interference in Herschel's story happening in the synagogue (i.e. the narrative of the children's book cannot be altered). Though, that doesn't necessarily mean Herschel is prevented from appearing in the story ;)
Story Preview Beneath The Cut
Generally speaking, the old bookshop is almost always closed.
If one, however, is in ownership of a decent set of lock picks, they may find it otherwise.
For what it’s worth, Tziporah (Tzi to her close friends, Nora to most everyone else at school, and young lady to almost all adults—including her parents, Bubbie, aunties and uncles, and the odd, inconvenient passerby—all who’ve caught her getting into trouble), most of the time, does her best to not use her lock picks. It’s just…it’s…
It’s like this, alright?
Tzi was born into a family with a long, long, long tradition of bookbinding. The kind that historians sometimes visit to ask stuffy questions about. The kind that causes librarians to visit requesting restorations of aging tomes. The kind that means their home has a dedicated workshop full of fairly ancient machinery that no one outside of the family knows how to use. Of course, there are other bookbinders in the world who would certainly recognize and understand the functionality of the more modern pieces of equipment Tzi’s family has. They just won’t recognize all of what they use. Not the Family bits.
The point being, when you grow up in such a setting, you tend to learn certain things. The store names and locations of almost every bookshop dealing in antique or rare books fairly close by, for instance. Also, a lot of the owners become familiar faces (or have been since before Tzi could remember). As the future of the Family Tradition, it’s only natural that she should accompany whomever is doing the deliveries or house calls regularly.
Thus, when you have this knowledge and you can be an Extremely Trustworthy Child (sure, Tzi may cause trouble regularly, but some things (like books, it’s books) are far too precious not to be Extremely Careful about), you’re, more often than naught, allowed to explore such bookshops, and read to your heart’s content.
And if you’re Tzi and you’re allowed to come along on a visit to The Bookshop That You’re Family Rarely Does Business With Because Their Books Are Almost Always In Unexplainable, Impeccable Condition, you’re going to want to read something (and you inevitably will).
The problem of course becomes, if you happen to be Tzi, and your mother, or father or whomever finishes up the Official Business rather quickly, you don’t have enough time to finish whatever it is you’re reading. And it being The Bookshop That You’re Family Rarely Does Business With Because Their Books Are Almost Always In Unexplainable, Impeccable Condition, you know you probably won’t have the opportunity to come back. At least not on an official bookbinding-related visit. Not for a Long While.
First, you’ll try coming back during regular business hours, as you have for many a bookshop previously.
Except, this bookshop doesn’t seem to have regular business hours.
So, given the story you were reading has been buzzing around your head for days, you come up with an alternate method.
Tzi isn’t going to take anything of course! She’s going to be extremely careful. She just wants to finish the story.
No one will ever know she was even there!
Except the giant snake waiting for her on the other side of the door.
If Tzi didn’t regularly inhabit spaces full of delicate books in need of repair or the equally delicate tools used to repair them, she would have jumped. As it stands, she finagles the lock open, slips in through the door quietly, turns around to the face the bookshop proper, and and a yelp almost escapes her lips.
The snake, black as ink and with scales bigger than Tzi’s thumb, regards her coolly with brilliant golden eyes. She stares back, hyperventilating at first, but as the seconds pass and nothing happens, her breathing evens out.
“You aren’t going to eat me, are you?” Tzi asks the snake.
The snake’s tongue flicks out and back. It doesn’t say anything, or stop gazing at her for that matter.
Tzi studies the snake with more scrutiny. “I don’t suppose you could. I mean, of course I know snakes can unhinge their jaws and all, but even if you did, you look like you aren’t big enough to fit more than my arm in your mouth, and then what would you do? You’d be stuck hanging off my shoulder.”
There’s a long beat where it seems they’re both considering this possibility (in truth, only Tzi is, in a ‘walking into school with a giant snake hanging off my arm would be really cool’ kind of way. The giant snake, for what it’s worth, is feeling mildly insulted by the implication that he’d try to eat her).
“Well,” Tzi finally says. “I did plan for this.”
Technically speaking, she only sort of planned for this. Tzi had been skeptical of the rumored sightings of a (pet?) snake in this particular bookshop when she first heard them. More so after she visited for the first time and no such snake could be located. Regardless, when One Is Determined To Finish The Book She Was Reading, One Has To Prepare For As Many Possibilities As Possible. So, Tzi had hardboiled a few eggs (because an article she read once said snakes like to eat eggs) and put them in a tupperware and put that tupperware in her bag before she left home an hour ago.
Tzi takes the egg tupperware out of her bag now and shows it to the snake. “Would you like one? They’re tastier than me, I promise.”
The snake turns its head slightly down to look at the eggs in their unassuming plastic container, and then turns back to gaze at Tzi again.
It’s at this moment that Tzi remembers the article she’d read had been about foxes, not snakes, and that she may have just insulted this particular snake (since snakes lay eggs, right? Tzi is fairly certain of that fact, but all snake facts she knows seem to have taken her seeking them as an impromptu game of Hide and Seek in her mind and they are hiding Very Well).
Tzi gulps (and briefly considers pretending one of the eggs is a stone and crushing it as a show of strength to intimidate the snake, but he can clearly see they’re eggs so that probably won’t work).
In the end, Tzi’s desire to just find the book she wants to read already, reinforced by the snake not doing much beyond staring at the eggs, wins out.
(For what it’s worth, when the snake in question has confronted intruders into the bookstore in the past, the intruders have usually taken more aggressive approaches to him. Eggs in a plastic container gifted by a girl who clearly isn’t going to run screaming at the sight of him is certainly New, and he’s not going to be given enough time to fully figure out how to respond).
Tzi places the egg tupperware down on the floor in front of the snake and snaps off the lid. “Sooo…” She draws the word out. “I’m going to go read.” She tentatively sidesteps away from the snake. When he doesn’t react, she goes to hurry off, stops herself, turns back, takes a deep breath, and “You’rewelcometojoinmeifyoulike!” tumbles from her mouth.
Without waiting for a response, Tzi darts through the chaotically organized bookshelves of the shop until she finds the one holding the book she’s after. Gingerly she plucks it off its shelf and, after memorizing its place so she can return it to exactly there, sets off for a comfortable place to sit and read.
All the while, the snake slithers after her.
After a couple minutes of fruitlessly trying to find a seat, the snake bumps its snout into Tzi’s shoulder and, when she looks at it, points her in the direction of a comfy-looking armchair that, hidden in the shadows as it is, previously escaped her notice.
Once settled, Tzi gently opens the book, finds the place she left off, and begins to read.
It’s well into the evening, after the traveler who called himself Herschel had gone up to the old synagogue, that two more visitors arrived in our small town…
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
I find it sad that there's really only one well known full length Hanukkah movie that comes to mind (for us gentiles, anyway) and it stars the Sandler. You know it's bad when Target sells as much Dreidelmobile merch as they can but Eight Crazy Nights is nowhere to be seen. By contrast, I've seen Coco and Book of Life sometimes get their own display/spot away from the Halloween movies come October.
On the other hand, I think Jewish Tumblr should rejoice in the fact that they avoided the Robert Zemeckis-curse and Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins didn't get a dead-eyed Jim Carrey-infused disastertation that sucked out it's heart and soul.
#gentilesplaining#Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins#happy hanukkah#The Polar Express#*shudders*#Polar Express ruined one of my most treasured childhood xmas book#I'd hate to see Herschel go through that too#there's a reason the only good image movers film is the Halloween one...
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
If your comment on knock off versions was a joke, disregard this. If not, I'm arguing: Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins was published in 1989. How The Grinch Stole Christmas was published in 1957. If anything was a knock off version of the other, it definitely wasn't that the Grinch is cribbing. And I don't actually think their themes are that similar, nor are the villains, despite superficial similarities of "people celebrate their winter religious holiday despite interference from monsters." The goblins want to eat Hershel, not stop Chanukah. Overall, looking past the lighthearted children's stories, the two reflect extremely difficult cultural fears. Christians are worried their traditions are becoming less meaningful in an era of increasing commercialism. And like, sure, it's not like we don't feel that way about Chanukah, but also Jews (and HatHG) remain worried that we will all be killed and there will be no one left in the places we lived who can continue our traditions.
You're right about the dates, and the "knockoff" bit was a half-joke made over my morning coffee. Mostly I'm talking about social role with regards to "popular kid's stories around the holiday" (where I live, at least) but I'll push back about your analysis of the themes
The goblins invade the synagogue and refuse to allow the villagers to celebrate Hanukkah, even in their own homes. Herschel comes to town and sees that they're too afraid to celebrate, and if they try, they are attacked by goblins. They are very much a stand-in for real antisemitism.
I'm focusing more on that discussion about how a "Grinch" is someone who doesn't like christmas, an outsider's perspective, and how that story had been weaponized by "war on xmas"/secular xmas believers against non xtians.
I know what Seuss has said about why he wrote it, and I know that he said that it's about commercialism, but in the modern context, consider:
It is a story about some visibly distinguishable as "other" who isn't human and who hates Christmas for no reason other than that it's loud and ubiquitous, so he tries to ruin their holiday and stop them from celebrating, but their love of the holiday runs deep and he is swayed into joining them through their displays of unwavering faith, and now he celebrates Christmas.
And in the context of that post I left the tags on, someone was telling Jews that they define a "Grinch" as "someone who hates Christmas". I've heard this take for years, often from completely well-meaning people, that any refusal to celebrate xmas makes us inhuman creatures with hearts described as "two sizes too small".
We live in the times of "a war on xmas". I have twice this year been told that I'm "a bit of a Grinch" because I think that mid-November is too early for all the radio stations to play nothing but xmas music, and for responding to "merry christmas" with a trite "happy hanukkah" (to someone who knows that I'm Jewish, again, in November). They genuinely believe that my refusal to participate is me trying to stop them from celebrating, and I'm infringing on their right, and that if I just appreciated joy and opened up my (tiny) heart I could know true happiness. They genuinely feel that they're oppressed.
This is to say nothing of the fact that while Seuss said it was based on him and his own disdain for commercialism, this is also from a man whose racial sensitivity track record is. not great to say the least, and while I'm not saying it was deliberate, I am saying that unconscious biases exist.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Usually Jewish stories have like one instigating magic or magical realism, like the goblins in Herschel& The Hanukkah Goblins, and everything that follows is realistic, like Herschel in Herschel& The Hanukkah Goblins
And then there's Everything Is Illuminated where everything in the "present" (iirc 1993) is realistic so all the magic got pushed into the stories of the ancestors in the old country. And there's 2 storylines in the present so the old country stories have 3x the usual amount of magic (their normal dose and all the magic from the two present day storylines)
It's weird. Apparently I only remember the parts from the old country because they're more memorable. Like there's a Phineas Gage situation!
0 notes
Text
Religious gothic is obviously a very big thing- Confessions of a Justified Sinner, the works of Flannery O’Connor- but I’m trying to think if there’s such a thing as Jewish Gothic. All I can think of so far for this category are Israel Rank and some of the works of Isaac Bashevis Singer. And maybe Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins.
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
FACT: Geralt and Eskel and Lambert and all baby witchers grew up with very few bedtime stories, but sometimes Vesemir could be convinced to tell them some
FACT: These men are all Jewish
FACT: The continent is fantasy!Poland
FACT: Vesemir absolutely told them the story of Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblin, and these wee baby witchers ATE THAT SHIT UP
19 notes
·
View notes
Photo
If ever there were a year when we needed some light...
Illustration by Trina Schart Hyman from Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins (story by Eric Kimmel). Juvenile literature, James Branch Cabell Library, VCU Libraries.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Herschel normally plays in the Large Dog group at daycare because he is Too Intense for the Shi-tuzs, but yesterday he was kicked back into small group for "Playing too hard with Big Herschel".
For context, My terrible goblin baby is a 38lb corgi
"Big Herschel" is a 140lb Rhodesian Ridgeback, also named Herschel
...and by "Playing too hard" they apparently meant "Your wretched crime baby has figured out how to do a WWE-style flying tackle off the top of the sunning/shade platform (4ft high platform to dogs to lie on or under) and Big Herschel was starting to get scared to go near it."
Fortunately, there was a Basset hound in smalls to sumo-wrestle with so he still got to play
but
Baby dog.
PLEASE.
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
Round 2 day 6
Herschel the Hannukah Goblin from Tumblr! Scroll through his tag
VS
Sif from Dark souls. Such a huge doggie!!! I love humongous dogs and this is one!! Really loyal and uses a sword!?
(I will clarify that since Herschel the Hannukah Goblin is a real dog, not a meme or a dog actor and the owner hasn't sent me pictures I won't include one! Instead you have this dog's favorite book!)
#tumblr bracket#dog tournament#tumblr tournament#dog bracket#herschel the hanukkah goblin#sif#real life#dark souls#round 2
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stories Post
.
Dead Souls Living
RWBY Nuts and Dolts Fanfic
Once accepted into Beacon Academy, Ruby never thought anything could get in the way of her training to become a Huntress. Then mysterious forces attacked, Beacon fell, and she wakes up to find the Atlas Military has kidnapped her (and declared her dead to the world) under the guise of keeping her and her silver eyes safe.
Now Ruby, alongside Penny, who is similarly assumed-dead-but-not-really by the world, fights to define what it means to have legendary magical powers and protect Atlas and Mantle from the forces, both inside and out, that could destroy them, and all of Remnant.
.
On the Care and Keeping of Stories
Good Omens Fanfic Crossover with Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins
The story goes like this,
Herschel of Ostropol traveled to a town beset by goblins and, with his wits and wiles, broke the hold the goblins had over the town.
It is a story well-loved and fondly remembered. That is certainly not in question.
What is is how it came to be told and who did the telling?
To answer, we look to the town itself, to its people (to perhaps two more strangers who arrived around the same time as Herschel) and their stories, both told and untold.
And to many, many years later, when a girl who comes from a family with a long, long tradition of bookbinding sneaks into a bookshop to finish a story.
1 note
·
View note
Photo
Have you registered for our free Hanukkah story series? Join us each night of Hanukkah for a story and craft perfect for some quality family time.
Celebrate the Jewish holiday of Hannukah virtually with the Jewish Museum of Maryland, the Center for Jewish Education, PJ Library, the JCC, and other community partners.
Come together each night and listen to stories read by local families, enjoy interactive holiday crafts, and light the menorah candles. A special Hanukkah-related theme will inspire each night’s activities.
This program series is FREE and best suited for children age 10 and under.
Thursday, December 10th at 5 pm
Friday, December 11th at 4pm
Saturday, December 12th at 6pm
Sunday, December 13th at 5pm
Monday, December 14th at 5 pm
Tuesday, December 15th at 5 pm
Wednesday, December 16th at 5 pm
Thursday, December 17th at 5 pm
Join the CJE Library, Sonia Kozlovsky and her grandchildren for The Magic Dreidels.
Join PJ Library for a special Shabbat-themed night of Hanukkah.
Join the CJE Library for a night of Havdalah and Hanukkah Music.
Join JMM and Octavia Shulman for a night about the history of Hanukkah, including Maccabee: The Story of Hanukkah and a shield-making craft.
Join the JCC, Megan Beller and her family for a Hanukkah night about courage, including Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins.
Join the CJE Library, JMM, and the Tenenholz family for a night dedicated to the Lights of Hanukkah, including Nathan Blows Out the Hanukkah Candle.
Join the JCC for a Hanukah story and craft.
Join the CJE Library for a night of Hanukkah games!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was not lying in those tags tho, I am realizing that How the Grinch Stole Christmas is just Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins but for xtians
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
1 and 8?
oh no. those are the hard ones D:
1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?
Welll for philosophy and social theory, I try to live up to writers like Ursula K. LeGuinn and bell hooks and I’m still getting a feel for Rebecca Solnit but I like her style. Laurel Thatcher Ulrich is my absolute favorite historian. I like Terry Pratchet’s humor, and I watched “Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron”, “Born Free” and “Aristocats” roughly 4 billion times each from ages 6-14. “Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins” left a lasting impression on me as a kindergartner, I have the entirety of They Might Be Giant’s 1990 album “Flood” memorized and I will never not adore “Grace Kelly” by MIKA. Will consuming any of this media help someone understand me? Probably not but there it is.
8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?
Mitski, the Mountain Goats, Hozier ect ect ect. But I also grew up listening to Bill Staines, Pete Seeger, Nanci Griffith, Simon & Garfunkel... I did go through some major Ani Difranco and P!nk phases, but I’m a queer AFAB 90s baby, what else was I supposed to do? Also, not a specific artist, but Jewish folk songs are part of the fabric of my life and I sing “Bashana Haba’a”, “Dayenu”, Ma’oz Tzur” and plenty of others regardless of season.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
for chanukah, some good jewish books and movies I’ve read/seen lately
- Three Identical Strangers: fucked up! really good movie though! it’s a very interesting story and brings up some good questions about morality, mostly the morality of the scientists who escaped the holocaust and then did experiments on jewish twins. that’s some Nazi shit.
- Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins: I love this book :) it’s my favorite picture book and I love it
- The Rabbi’s Cat: I read it in middle school and haven’t been able to find it since! I’m so glad we have it now! every panel is perfect. everyone should read this book.
1 note
·
View note
