#usually i can’t even consider trying one of these types of posts because i’ve got no self control
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one day left! i didn’t have time or energy to do anything else but here’s a sketch that i’ll treat like one of those “like and reblog to take their clothes off!!” gimmick posts except idk… get throndir to 45% and i’ll finish this like a normal person, if he wins this round i’ll render every stretch mark on his body or something
vote… for throndir! it’s the dawn of the final day!
#throndirsweep#friends at the table#bear poll#throndir#my scribbles#usually i can’t even consider trying one of these types of posts because i’ve got no self control#and can’t wait for a number goal to do something i’d do on my own anyway#but as it turns out we got a dog yesterday and integrating him into the house is A Lot#his name is fig and he’s 5-8 years old and suspiciously perfect….#and i’m not a dog person (my partner wanted a second dog but… i like him)#i’m so tired though#good luck throndir#goodnight#to be clear i’m not under any delusions that he’ll win but it’s worth a try
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WEVERSE CRUSH !
YOUR favorite hobby after a busy schedule is going on weverse and trying to get jungwon’s(your classmates) attention so bad! what happens when it does actually happen? you get excited of course! but what happens when you get a reply from him every day?
OR in which you caught jungwon’s attention with your posts on weverse and now, regardless of his tight schedule and millions of fans who’s trying to get his attention, he’s only searching for your posts every day.
PAIRING idol!jungwon X idol&fan!femreader
GENER fluff , a bit of angst , comfort , type of classmates to lovers(?) but they’re basically strangers on weverse !
WARNINGS vv cringy i think , mentions of stress , awful humor and pick up lines ! (pls lmk if i missed something)
WC 4.9k+ (the longest i’ve written ever!)
NOTE this is to all of the fans that never got noticed by jungwon on weverse but do get a lot of spams💔 n e ways pls like this i worked hard on this☹️🤞🏻
NOT PROOFREAD!!
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 10:20PM jungwon! i had a busy schedule today but thinking about you always made me feel better🤍
“trying again?” one of your group mates glanced at you staring at your phone, “i’m just sharing how my day was” you shrugged.
“he’s got like millions of posts, you know that too” she chuckled, “instead of being online in your own group’s weverse you’re going online on your fan account”
“i’m online everyday you’re just overreacting” you rolled your eyes.
“why don’t you just talk to him in class? didn’t you say you both were classmates?” she pat your head.
you shook your head, “it’s not that easy, we’re both barely attending to class because of our busy schedule, and we basically stopped talking after a while”
“it’s the only way i can interact with him—at least hope so? idk”
“and what if he does notice you?” she suddenly asked, “what are you going to do then?”
“probably faint”
“you’re acting like a real fan right now”
“what do you mean acting? i am a real fan”
“no you’re not, you’re just crushing over him and don’t know how to properly confess so you’re using this app and hoping to get noticed” your other group mate barged in your conversation.
“i mean, you both are classmates but you’re always so desperate to grab his attention on weverse, what’s the point of that?” she added.
“it kinda like became my usual thing to do, before i log into our weverse i log into enhypen and leave a post there” you shrugged, “it’s one of my favorite things to do”
“you’re hopelessly in love” they both teased you.
“good morning!” you greet your classmates. your schedule was clean for the whole week so you decided were forced to go back to school.
your friends greeted you back and you sat at your desk.
“morning” jungwon mumbled as he entered the class.
it was a rare sight, jungwon’s never usually at school. his schedule is way busier than yours and considering the fact that you show up to school once a month, it was quite surprising to see jungwon’s presence.
“morning” you greeted back and he went to his seat at the corner of the class.
you missed him. you actually did. having a crush is more than just thinking about someone 24/7, it’s also about missing him.
jungwon is your role model, he had always been. being classmates for more than four years together, he helped you getting into the company you wanted and encouraged you to stay until you debut.
you went through all of this because of him and yet, both of you rarely even talk.
jungwon couldn’t quite explain why, perhaps it’s your pretty eyes that he gets lost while staring at them, or was it your smile that always ( no matter when ! ) lights up the world, his world.
he found himself getting all shy and closed up being around you, call it cheesy but jungwon just can’t stop thinking about you and missing you.
he tends to come to school more often these days, some might think he’s just trying to catch up with school, but truth is, he’s searching for you every day, to see you and your smile.
you sat at the front line while jungwon sat at the corner, which makes it easier for him to stare at you without you even noticing.
“should i ask him to eat lunch with us today?” you whispered to your seatmate and she nodded.
“i just don’t know—“ “morning! finally y/n we get to see you!” the teacher got in class and cut you.
after class you gathered all your stuffs quickly but stopped when you felt a figure standing in front of you,
“hey um” you coughed, “jungwon, i’m jungwon-“ he cut you off.
you froze, a bit taken aback, “no i know-“ “oh! oh right” he nodded.
“i was wondering if you’d like to grab some-“
“hey y/n! let’s go to the cafeteria!” your friends called you and you instantly frowned, “i can’t, something urgent came up and i need to go”
they nodded and left, you then turned to jungwon, “what did you want to-“ “it’s okay, never mind about that” he quickly mumbled and left.
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:34PM jungwon! i had school today but i had to leave early today because something urgent came up ): i missed lunch with someone i really adore and im really sad):
“hey jay! check this out” jungwon showed jay his phone. “what’s wrong?” jay asked after reading the post.
“it seems so weird! it happened to me today at school too” he coughed, “with y/n”
“y/n again? you never stop talking about her” niki joined in.
jungwon sighed, “i can’t stop thinking about her, it’s like she’s living in my mind rent free”
jay pat jungwon’s shoulder, he can see how sad is friend is and how difficult things are for him.
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: you’ll always have tomorrow to spend together!
“OH MY GOD” you froze, looking at your phone for a few good minutes until your group mates came in rushing, “ARE YOU OKAY?”
one of them held a pan in her hand, ready to attack any stalker.
“it’s-“ you tried to speak, “it’s-“
“just give me the phone!” another one grabbed your phone and looked through it.
she sighed when she realized what was happening, “really y/n?”
“what is it?”
the curious cats followed her and peeked into her phone, they all sighed when they saw what is this all about.
“i was about to experience a heart attack!! we don’t do those things y/n!”
“no but you don’t understand!”
“yang jungwon just replied to me!” you walked back and forth around the room.
“i need you to sit down and calm down!” the leader held your shoulders and dropped you on the couch, “it happened once and it probably won’t happen again, i’m really happy for you”
“if you don’t get noticed by him at school at least you got noticed by him on weverse”
“BURNNN” they all shout and giggled.
you know they were joking, your groupmates became your family in a blink of an eye. they take a good care of you, and worry about you 24/7, like good old sisters.
but what they like to do the most is to tease you, which you find very annoying, but they just find it really cute.
“i’m definitely going to keep an eye on her” jungwon said to jay who was sitting next to him, “i have no choice but to trust your instincts now” he replied.
“how was your schedule yesterday?” your classmate asked you the next day.
you laid your head on your desk and groaned, “it was pretty tiring most of the time”
they pat your head and let you off, without having any other distractions—you fell asleep.
“morn-” jungwon got into the classroom and noticed your sleeping figure.
he smiled to himself, finding you so cute and adorable with your head all smashed over your desk and your slow breaths that made him think you were choking there for a second.
“what are you looking at?” his friend put his hand over jungwon’s shoulder, “nothing, i was just thinking about something”
“y/n wake up!” you heard someone whispering. you slowly opened your eyes and was welcomed by your friends all gathered around you with a big smile, “what is it?” you uttered.
“someone got you this drink” one of your friends held out your favorite drink, “you slept through all the periods, it’s lunch time already”
you looked at your phone and gasped, “why did no one wake me up?”
“we tried, you just were in deep sleep”
“thank you for the drink, did you happen to see who that was?” you curiously looked at the drink as your friends shrugged, “we all went out to get our lunch”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 6:08PM something really weird happened today at school! someone bought me my favorite drink and put it on my desk! do you think i should look for that person?
“look!!” jungwon, who was active on weverse suddenly noticed the post, “it’s the same person from yesterday”
jay sat next to him and peeked at jungwon’s phone, “why? did you buy y/n her favorite drink today without her knowing?” he giggled but stopped when he noticed jungwon started blushing, “you can’t be serious”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: go search for that person!!
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i wish you good luck🤍
“AGAIN??” you shout, you sat on the couch with your groupmates and made them all jump when you shout.
“again?” they sighed, “WAIT WHAT?”
you showed them your phone with jungwon’s replies and they all joined you to the shouts.
“you know what they say!” one of them said, “third time a charm!” the rest of you completed the sentence and giggled.
“i’m going to be full honest now,” another one said, “i don’t think there is going to be a third time”
“you never know!”
the next day you got notified that your “schedule-free” week was a complete lie.
“what do you mean i can’t go to school this week? you told me i’m free!” your argued your manager.
“some photoshoots and sponsors came up, i’m sorry it’s like that” she pat your shoulder.
“how am i going to see jungwon again?” you asked your group leader.
if there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s probably to listen and give advices, that’s why you find yourself always laying your head on her lap and venting out your concerns.
“it’s not like you’ve seen him a lot before” she said, “right?”
“no but it was different this time! i was actually ready to talk to him about everything”
“what do you mean everything?”
“i don’t know i—“ you sighed, “my feelings? the way i feel whenever i look at him? everything”
“you do realize that it’d probably be weird to confess to someone you rarely talk to, right?”
“i hate that you’re right” you rolled your eyes, “i was actually ready to befriend him, to get closer to him”
“you’re so boring y/n! you should be more bold!”
“what do you expect me to do?”
“show him that you’re interested in him without being too weird and confessing your feelings” she smirked.
“but how?”
“do you know how to rizz up someone?”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:39AM jungwon! aside from stealing hearts, what do you do?
“are you serious with me right now? why did you post that!” you shout at your leader who was busy laughing her ass off, “is that what you meant by being bold?”
“that is how you rizz up people now!”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: do you normally flirt with people so easily?
“OH MY GOD??” you dropped your phone and your friend froze, “don’t tell me he replied” she gasped.
“ALMOST INSTANTLY” you nodded and kneeled to get your now broken phone.
“NO WAY” she laughed, “third time a charm!”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: but other than stealing hearts i think about you🤍
“slap me right now” you smacked your hand over your forehead, “okay” she slapped you.
“why would you do that?”
“you asked for it!”
on the other side, jungwon was giggling at his phone, staring at it for a few good minutes, that was until heeseung took his phone away.
“hey! give it back” jungwon tried to take his now stolen phone back but heeseung was too strong,
“i saw you smiling at your phone so i thought you were texting someone,” heeseung sighed and returned jungwon’s phone, “but weverse, really?”
jungwon shrugged, “i’m just replying to fans, they’re cute”
heeseung shook his head in return, “it’s not ‘fans’ you’re talking to, it’s only one specific fan you’re replying to”
“i’ve been replying to other fans too”
“that’s what you’d like to think”
heeseung was right, jungwon does only reply to the person he said he’d keep an eye on, which is totally fine, but at what cost?
“fans are starting to think you’re dating that person secretly, you should be careful” heeseung sighed.
“you’re right, that person just interests me” jungwon replied, “i have this weird feeling it might be y/n”
“y/n? why would she be on our weverse page?” heeseung tilt his head, “doesn’t she have her own group’s weverse page to go through?”
“yeah, but some posts of her really reminds me of situations that occurred between us,” jungwon nodded, “look, a few days ago she posted something that was really similar to what happened at school!”
heeseung took jungwon’s phone again to look through the suspicious account, “let’s just keep an eye on this account”
“that’s what i’ve been trying to say!”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:45AM jungwon i was so surprised when i got a reply from you and dropped my phone💔 it’s broken now!!
“that’s—“ jungwon gasped, “that’s not what i meant to happen with my response”
heeseung just giggled, “i mean who wouldn’t be surprised to get a reply from their favorite idol?”
jungwon nodded and slowly tapped his reply.
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: haha i’d be surprised if i were you too!!
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: how will i ever be able to repay you?
“now it just feels like he’s flirting back with me” you chuckled.
“you caught jungwon’s attention y/n!” your leader giggled, “notice how he’s always replying to you almost instantly? it’s as if he’s waiting to see your posts”
you shook your hand, “no way! why would jungwon wait for me to be online?”
“that my friend,” she put her hand on your shoulder, “is up to you to figure that out”
the next day you begged your manager to cancel your schedule, with the excuse of, “i have exams coming up and i need to catch up, do you want to see me fail?”
and it actually worked!
today you’re going to see jungwon and talk to him, no matter what!
you arrived at school and sat by your usual seat, putting your broken phone on the desk and laying your head over your hands next to it.
you slowly drifted to sleep, school is too boring on the morning anyway!
as jungwon entered the class he first looked over your direction, of course he would.
he smiled to himself, he always does when he looks at you.
he then noticed your phone that was right next to you, it was smashed and broken, as if it was dropped.
jungwon gasped, he opened his phone and entered weverse, searching the account he’s been keeping an eye on, and that was it.
a dropped and now broken phone, it’s a match!
he took a picture of your broken phone and went back to his seat to text his members about the shocking news.
‘it’s definitely her’ he sent the text and added the picture of your broken phone.
‘i don’t think so, just because of a broken phone?’ jay responded.
‘yes! she said yesterday that her phone was dropped and got broken’ jungwon replied.
‘it might be a coincidence’ heeseung claimed.
jungwon was about to text them back but had to turn off the phone once the teacher entered the class.
first break of the day was a good opportunity to talk to jungwon. you woke up in the middle of the second period and thought about ways to approach him.
you searched for him in the class, eyes scanning every place until you landed on his seat, of course, that’s how he usually spends his first break. in his usual seat, with a snack in one hand and in the other he’s holding his phone and scrolling through social media.
you got up, suddenly feeling bold enough to make steps towards his seat.
“hey jungwon” you let out.
he froze for a second, then turning off his phone and putting away his snack, “oh, hey y/n”
“heyyyyy” you said again.
“hey?” he questioned.
“uhm” you coughed, “sorry”
“it’s okay, is there something wrong?”
“no no!” you shook your hand, “i was just wondering”
you was about to continue but your phone buzzed, you got a notification.
“your phone’s broken” he pointed out.
shit, you thought. “yeah” you giggled, “i uh—“
“i dropped it after my members decided to pull a scary prank on me” good one.
he nodded and chuckled, “so?”
“so,” you cleared your throat, “i was wondering if you’d like to start over again”
finally!! you cheered.
“i mean, you’ve helped me a lot through my trainee days and encouraged me to achieve my dreams but we stopped talking after i debuted and i really feel like—“ you spoke too fast and jungwon cut you off, “i’d really like that”
“really?” you asked and he nodded, “really”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 8:50PM i asked my crush if he’d like to get to know each other again today!! he’s a person that really helped me through tough times and always encouraged me! we were good friends back then but stopped talking after a while, i really thought he was angry at me for some reason, but i couldn’t stop having feelings for him, so i made the first step today and he actually agreed!! im so happy!!
“you did WHAT?” your group leader asked you.
“i did it, i asked if he’d like to get to know each other aga-“
“oh im so proud of you my child” she hugged you tightly and pecked your forehead, “you’re all grown up now”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: well,
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i’m sure he wasn’t angry with you at all!
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im happy that you two are starting all over again, who knows, maybe he feels the same about you ;)
“got you y/n” jungwon giggled.
“why don’t you just talk with her about it?” jake put his hand over jungwon’s shoulders as he stared at his phone.
“it’s difficult” jungwon frowned, “do i just go like ‘oh hey! i know you have a weverse account and i know your user, i have feelings for you too so let’s date’?”
“yeah!” jake nodded and jungwon groaned, “you’re no help”
“so? tell us everything” your members sat you on the couch while they surrounded you with some curious eyes.
“about?”
“about what happened at school!”
“i went to jungwon, asked him if he’d like to start over again, he said he’d love to, so we went together to get some lunch and talked about everything we missed, it was real fun honestly really recommend you to do that too—“
“did you confess, or not” they all asked.
“no why would i confess so soon”
they all sighed, “no drama, no fun!”
you rolled your eyes, “can we at least eat something now?”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 9:27PM i don’t think he feels the same, but it was really fun to spend the day together with him, his company has always made me feel warm and comfortable.
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im more than happy to hear that! first breaks are always so fun when you spend them with a person you like ^-^
you tilt your head in confusion, showing your phone to your members, “look at that”
they all read your post and his reply, “what’s so weird about it?”
“i never said i spent the first break together with him”
“DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS?” you freaked out, “OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD” you held your head, moving back and forth around the room.
“y/n calm down!!” your leader said, “maybe he just assumed it was the first break since it’s the first time of the day you get to spend with other people!”
“you’re right,” you breathed in, calming yourself down, “thank you”
next day you went back in track, your manager told you the next time you’d be showing up to school would be only on exams and maybe next month.
your schedule became busier than before, you barely had time to breath. going back and forth, from a phothshoot to an interview then practice and more.
you were drained and overworked, your phone hasn’t been touched ever since the last day you showed up at school, which means—you haven’t showed up on weverse a few weeks already.
you’d see jungwon only when you arrive to school to take exams, but then disappear right away after you finish them.
“waiting for a new update again?” sunghoon asked jungwon who was staring at his phone and refreshing the page every minute, “yeah” he replied.
“she’s always online around these hours” he added.
“have you seen her at school?” sunghoon asked, jungwon froze for a second, thinking about the last time you showed up at school, “only when there’s an exam we need to take”
“maybe she’s just having a busy schedule,” sunghoon shrugged, “you’re barely online when you have a tight schedule”
“right” jungwon nodded, “but i wonder if she’s doing well” he sighed and closed his phone.
the past days has been awful to you. you slowly felt yourself vanishing, like a lifeless soul walking around.
your groupmates always looks after you worriedly, you’d barely even talk to anyone.
“y/n what about eating something?” your leader asked you, “no i’m okay, i ate just a few minutes ago” you smiled.
that was a total lie, you simply didn’t feel like eating lately.
slowly but surely you stared at your phone, five minutes won’t hurt, right?
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 12:57PM haven’t been active lately and i miss being here and interacting with you jungwon! i don’t think i’ll be able to be active again so i’m here to say that you should take good care of yourself, eat your meals in time and rest when you need to.🤍 your health always comes first!!
you sighed and turned off your phone.
jungwon, who was busy staring at his phone and waiting for a new update suddenly jumped in his chair.
“finally”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im sorry to hear that, is everything okay?
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i’ll make sure to take care of myself as long as you take care of yourself too 🤍
he replied immediately, as if he’s the one getting a notification from you each time you post something—when it’s supposed to be the opposite.
“jungwon we’ve recently found out that you’re suffering from that illness,” niki pat jungwon’s head,
“what is it?”
“the ‘weverse crush’ illness” niki laughed and jungwon sighed.
“you can’t stop refreshing the page to see a new post from her!” jay claimed, “and you’re replying so fast whenever she does post something” jake added.
“you should just get her phone number and text her” heeseung shrugged.
“but im not sure it’s her” jungwon turned off his phone.
“all clues points at her, it’s worth a shot” sunghoon nodded.
the next day you were forced to go back to school, your school principal complained about the fact that you’ve been missing most of your classes and nearly failing in all of them.
so it’s settled, you’ll be going to school for a month sharp, without any useless inconveniences.
first day of school after a while of not being there felt like a nightmare.
you looked at the school building with horror, yet, you felt a bit excited to see jungwon again.
you took your usual seat, put your earphones in and listened to your favorite song.
when jungwon entered the class, he was surprised to see you sitting there and staring at one point of the class.
he knocked on your desk and you zoomed out, “oh, hey” you smiled weakly.
something definitely happened while you were gone, “hey, it’s good to see you again”
the teacher entered the class right away and jungwon ran to his seat.
at lunch, you stayed in your desk, excusing yourself from your friends and going back to your books to read and study.
jungwon frowned, he has to do something about it.
he went to the cafeteria and got your favorite snack, he knows it’s your favorite, he remembers.
you were so focused on your study book to notice jungwon’s figure next to you.
“knock knock?” he questioned and you looked at him, making eye contact for a few seconds before looking away.
“hey again” you closed your book and focused on him.
“i got it for you” he handed you your favorite snack with a wide grin on his face.
“thank you”
silence. it was so quiet that you could even hear the birds outside.
“is everything okay?” he suddenly asked.
“huh?”
“oh yes, everything’s amazing” you smiled.
“we both know you’re lying”
turns out you were a bad liar after all.
“i’m not going to force you to speak,” he pat your shoulder, “but i’m here for you”
those words, were enough to break you down.
you felt comfort around him, you felt everything you feel around someone you’re in love with, you felt warm, welcomed and understood.
so you told him everything, from A to Z.
jungwon is known as his group’s no.1 comforter, and he’s now your personal no.1 comforter as well.
he knew the exact words to say to you and how to make you feel better.
right when you finished crying he told you a joke, and now you were shedding tears out of laughter.
“thank you” you looked at him with comfort.
“anytime” he chuckled and stole your snack, “you’re not crying anymore so i’ll just take that and save it for myself”
you rolled your eyes and kept messing around until it was time for another class.
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 8:30PM i had the best day ever today! i saw my favorite person ever at school today, after a long time i haven’t been able to see him! i also cried in front of him (was so embarrassing) but he comforted me so well, i think i’m falling in love all over again.
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: see!! lunch time can be so fun when you’re with a person you like too!!
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i hope you’ll be able to spend more time together in the future!!
“he definitely knows” you freaked out.
“even if he does,” your leader clapped, “what’s so wrong about it?”
“what if he doesn’t like me back?”
“he does”
“how do you know that?”
“because i just do!” she sighed, “otherwise he wouldn’t reply to you so instantly as if he waits for your posts every day”
“you’re right” you nodded.
“but what if he does it just so he could laugh at me with his members?”
“not a chance” she groaned, “stop overthinking so much and just talk to him about it!”
“so um,” the next day, you dragged jungwon out of the classroom as soon as he entered.
you had to talk about it before the rest of the day continues.
“you have weverse right…?” you suddenly asked, “oh my god that was so stupid of me of course you do you’re an idol and—“
“i know it’s you” he cut you off.
“what?”
“isn’t that what you wanted to ask me?” he tilt his head, “i know it’s you” he repeated.
“and,” you wanted to continue but couldn’t find the words.
“i like you too” he suddenly confessed.
“wha—“
you were about to respond but he cut you off with a peck on your lips, “i said i like you too”
you looked at him, making eye contact for a few good minutes, both of your cheeks are now as red as a tomato,
and as you looked at his pretty face, you could notice how red his ears became.
“for how long?” you asked,
“ever since we started talking” he smiled, “your pretty smile, your beautiful eyes and breathtaking smile, everything about you just made me think about you all day”
“then why—“ “i couldn’t talk to you after you debuted, i was so scared it might hurt your image, and i couldn’t always find the right words to talk to you,” he looked down,
“i didn’t want to look like a loser in front of you” he kicked the air like a little child.
“jungwon” you smiled, “looking like a loser isn’t something to be ashamed of” you giggled.
“i like you, in any form or any shape or whatever!” you joked and hugged him tightly.
“would you like to go on a date with me today right after school?” he suddenly asked.
“so bold of you” you teased, pecking the tip of his nose, “but yes, i’d love to go on a date with you”
“can i finally call you mine?” he held your hand.
“of course” you pecked his lips,
“don’t get confused when you’re replying to me on weverse!”
••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.
#enhypen imagines#enhypen drabbles#enhypen#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enhypen headcanons#enhypen oneshots#enhypen x reader#jungwon x reader#jungwon imagines#enhypen jungwon#jungwon scenarios#jungwon fluff#jungwon drabbles#yang jungwon#jungwon oneshots#jungwon angst
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Sakuatsu fic recs!
im very picky on what i label to be a 'good fic' most of the ones are amazing but only a few will get bookmarkerd by me and here they are! My ao3 acc that has many more book marks mostly nsfw i diddnt put here
1
A liar's truth 49k words
okay this one is just breathtaking? if you havent read this pls do i cried sm😭
summary:
In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?
2
I'll see you in court, motherfucker 2k words
its short and funny def worth a read if you wanna giggle
Summary:
“You’re still a fraud. You’re—you’re a scammer, is what you are. I don’t know how you convinced the hospital administration that you’re my husband, or that we even have a relationship, but I have—” Fuck, what’s the word? “Lawyers,” Kiyoomi says triumphantly, “I have lawyers, and if you’re trying to con me for some ulterior motive, I’ll have you know—”
“Oh my god, Omi,” Miya says, sounding equal parts exasperated and horribly fond. “How can you be so cute?”
A pleasant side effect of being down one vestigial organ is forgetting the existence of your hot Olympic athlete husband
3
The 28 post cards you left me 8k words
Honestly, if i ever break up with someone this is exactly what i want from them? Like omg?? pls send me post cards, Super cute
Summary:
Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.
4
The art of the thrist trap 4k words
naughty naughty, but other than that this fic is so funny? like ask ur brother how to rizz someone up
Summary:
“Samu, I’ve got a big problem.”
“Here we fuckin’ go. What is it this time?”
Atsumu needs to think strategically about how he’s going to phrase this. One wrong word and Osamu will hang up on him and Atsumu will be forced to wade through the hell of his own mind by himself.
“I jerked off to one of my teammates.”
Osamu hangs up.
5
Problem 5k words
super cute sleepy omi is something else
Summary:
Atsumu has a problem— somehow, he finds every version of Sakusa Kiyoomi adorable.
In which Atsumu realizes that Sakusa Kiyoomi gets very quiet and very adorable when he's tired. Things simply go downhill from there.
6
Take me where the music aint to loud 2k words
Protetive sakusa>>
Summary:
Winning against the Adlers must have meant something of a great deal to Sakusa, as usually he wouldn’t even consider going out with the rest of his team after the game.
Yet, here he is, in a somewhat crowded club, wearing a black button up shirt rolled up around his wrists and sweating a little under the bright lights.
Atsumu thinks he looks beautiful.
He wanders over to where Sakusa is standing with Meian, hoping that tonight, with a little bit of influence from alcohol, he might be able to get more conversation out of him than he can usually get outside of practice.
But of course, Atsumu can’t have anything good, ever. Because, blocking the way is his ex-boyfriend.
--
or; atsumu runs into his ex in the club, and sakusa has to rescue him
7
ROAD RAGE 2k words
This is funny on so many levels poor atsumu he fears for his life
Summary:
For a man who preaches at any given opportunity about the importance of good self-care practices, Sakusa certainly displays an astounding lack of self-preservation when behind the wheel.
Sakusa Kiyoomi has a driver’s license. Sakusa Kiyoomi cannot drive.
The two are not mutually exclusive.
8
The ascent to love (or descent) 3k words
Im always a sucker for hurt/comfort and this fic gives me that, its also funny as well so its a win-win type thing
Summary:
Stuck in an elevator with his boyfriend after a fight, Sakusa Kiyoomi couldn't think of anything worse.
Working through their issues?
Maybe he could think of one thing.
9
Take me home 10k words
i just cannont stress how good this is, like its soul healing on so may levels gosh
Summary:
Turns out, Miya Atsumu never did a good thing in his life – his love was one-sided. And so, he was running away, hoping to meet some friendly people, take a bunch of pretty pictures and get over Kita Shinsuke.
In which Miya Atsumu is an exchange student in Italy, and Sakusa Kiyoomi is the only one knowing Japanese, forced to take care of the new student.
10
Hope is the thing with feathers 10k words
Two dummies taking care of some birds is honestly to good
Summary:
Kiyoomi wakes to Miya banging on his door, yelling words that put the fear of god in him.
“Omi-kun, get out here, we’re gonna be fathers.”
11
In the stars 1k words
In all honesty it made me think of the other side of love i never thought about
Summary:
Miya Atsumu is a romantic. He always had been. He believes in soulmates and destiny and true love in the stars. Sakusa Kiyoomi believes none of that.
My ao3↵
#haikyuu#sakusa kiyoomi#sakuatsu#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu sakusa#haikyuu atsumu#fanfic#sakusa smut#atsumu smut#skts#msby#fanfic rec#ao3 fanfic#read on ao3#fanfiction#ao3 fic#ash rec's#ash posted it
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hi! so i have some questions about your Triple Divorced AU! (excuse me it's so long fgsdjk)
you mentioned that each boy (outside of Mikey) has a fave parent, but do the parents have fave kid(s)? i suspect Draxum likes Raph the most since he actually managed to convince him to get into training?? but outside of that i have no idea!
also with which parent they spend the most time? or which house they consider their "main" home?? if even they have something like that
also! in your recent drawing of baby leo (very cute btw i want to pinch his cheeks!) he seems to be actually excited to show off to draxum, but you mentioned that currently he doesn't really like him, which made me think- how did the relationship between parents and kids change from early childhood to "today"??
oh and how's the relationship between each parent? like i get they hate each other's guts, but are there specific types of hate? (i can suspect splinter vs BM arguments are mostly verbal while splinter vs draxum is physical fighting?) (also a silly question but- was/is there ever something… (hate)romantic between draxum and splinter at some points? or is that a big NAH??)
I LOVE long asks!
Yes the parents have favorite kids. Other than Splinter who is a proud proprietor of I don’t have favourites. Or does he just not know any of his children well enough to pick, who’s to say(:
Draxums favourite isn’t actually Raph it’s Mikey. Purely because his mystic abilities are so advanced. It’s sort of rooted in a pride of ‘I made this I’m awesome’ or wanting your kids to be talented and successful. It’s ironic because Mikey is the least likely to go for his kill all of humanity bullshit. He wouldn’t align himself with a plan like that. Usually when Draxum brings it up Mikey goes into dr feelings mode and talks about the deep rooted issues of why Draxum hates humans which the yokai does not care for. But he’s deluding himself that one day he will get Mikey to change(even if it’s far more likely to be the other way around)
Big mamas favourite is Leo. She likes the other boys they’re easy to manipulate in their own ways. But she likes Leo because he doesn’t fall for all that. They can have a relationship on more even footing. Oh he annoys the hell out of her but that’s because he is also the most like her. It’s almost like a mentorship/rivalry. Big mama never considered having an heir before but baby blue might just fit the bill.
It’s a fairly even split between where they spend time(Mikey tires to keep it that way) but it depends. Sometimes Splinter gets job offers as Lou Jitsu so he isn’t around to take the boys back. Draxum likes to upgrade his security in between kid nappings as does big mama so those tend to be the gaps where they get to spend more time with Splinter. Typically it would take longer for either parent to steal them off big mama because of her security personal. But she has a nasty habit of using them as bartering chips so they don’t tend to stay as long as they could. Suffice to say these kids have no stability in their lives.
They don’t really think of one place as home. Home usually means ‘where we’re sleeping tonight’ they are just as likely to call home one of the houses they grew up in or a side of the road motel(something I’ve done so I don’t actually know if I’m explaining that feeling well cause that’s just how it is)
Yes! Baby Leo is adorable! I can’t wait to show the rest of their baby designs(I need to do a character like up once all the main people have been introduced). The comic I made that panel for explains it a bit but I haven’t posted it yet so I’ll explain.
When the kids were younger Draxum did try to train them as soldiers but got pulled up by the social workers and had to tone it down. Leo who craved his ‘Draxys’ approval was slighted by this and developed an instant hatred— no but really Leo’s dislike for Draxum was something that built up over years. Being ignored being used and overall just missing out on things that parents probably should be doing. He got a lot more of that from splinter and since splinter didn’t like Draxum Leo adopted the attitude. A sort of us against him mentality.
That’s happened for a lot of the kids. Growing disillusioned by their parents. Being forced to pick sides over time. Each of them could be their own ask so if your curious about a certain relationship ask. That way I’m not just rambling about something people don’t care about!
Yes each of the parents have their own brand of hate. Splinter and big mama are bitter exes slash can’t get over each other. Draxum had such a big fat crush of Lou Jitsu it wasn’t even subtle. In this au he has been low key pining for years. Unfortunately some people express their love by breaking into your house and mildly traumatizing your kids. It’s very much the “I hate Splinter” while hanging up pictures of him meme(I would draw that it I wasn’t writing this during my lunch break)
Splinter has no idea how he feels but big mama does. The two are SO petty about it. It’s that love triangle rivalry except I’m not trying to pass it off as cute. These two need to grow up and check their standards.
#triple divorce au#TDau#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rise of the tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise#tmnt
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can we get an in depth analysis on why you see certain twst characters as top or bottom? i’m very curious to see what goes on in those minds of the both of you. always enjoy the content, that’s why im asking 💕💕💕 also merry christmas/happy holidays!!!
Anon! Happy New Year (very belated) and sorry for the wait <3
I’m so happy you enjoy our content, and I’m glad you’re interested! But to be honest, it’s a bit of a difficult question to answer. The “decision” isn’t usually a result of any deep thinking, it’s just the “vibes” and “feels” we get. Well, I’ve mentioned it in this post, and you’ve probably read it already: there are certain types of characters that are more likely for us to be seen as tops or bottoms, but even this isn’t necessarily a very thought-out thing. It’s an emotional thing, plus kinship with some characters, plus us liking certain ship dynamics… I guess we just have a radar based on our own preferences lol So for every character the main and the true reason behind our choice is simply “oh I really want them to top/to bottom”.
Keeping that in mind, I’ll try to analyze characters a bit more!
Oh and one more thing about kinship: let’s be honest we all associate ourselves with characters to a certain degree, so it actually also plays a huge role for us. Since Katsu and I have certain preferences ourselves, and we approach and dive into ships together, there is a lot of “he’s just like me for real” going on. I’m saying it now because otherwise this whole list is going to just me going “Ortho is a top because he is MEEEEEEEEE and I want to fuck Idia hence he is a bottom” and “this one is Katsu Katsu is this one this one is so similar to Katsu oh my lawd” and “Katsu finds the tweels super hot” over and over and over again lol Still, I apologize in advance.
(This post is going to be super long…)
Riddle – Oh he’s such a tsundere and I’m weak for tsunderes… I think I mentioned it in our replies yesterday: Riddle is our sheltered homeschooled kid at his first party. I love howtight and strict he tries to be, and that deep inside he’s just a crying little kid craving for fun things to happen to him. The whole “he is so aggressively against fun, but in actuality he would love it if he got fucked by someone” works very well with him. And he’s just so cute when he gets mad..!!
Ace – oh my god he is a douchebag. If a character is a douchebag, we are very likely to consider him being a top lol You’ll definitely notice this trend. He has these vibes of “that one classmate” and has just enough of a “just your average” energy to be read as just your average guy who lazes around, plays videogames and masturbates… like just some anime protag? But he isn’t surrounded by a harem of girls, he doesn’t even like girls, he has to embrace the fact that he wants to fuck his best friend lol AND HE IS A MASSIVE DOUCHEBAG and that makes him insufferable, and in our book it means he’s a top.
Deuce – not every character who is a softie would automatically be a bottom, but this one is. In all honesty, Deuce is such a sweetheart bimbo that we just can’t help but want him to bottom. Especially with him having a delinquent era, and Ace (since he is the main boy we ship him with) just being a douche with no real criminal past (lol), it’s fun when Deuce just surrenders to Ace and gets vulnerable because being fucked by Ace feels too good.
Trey – the idea of him being super in love with Riddle and wanting to get intimate with him for the longest time, craving him almost in a feral way, but restraining himself because he doesn’t want to scare him away, is like… way too good of a trope. Plus, he looks like a firefighter/stripper who also bakes, and despite the fact that we don’t really like the trope of a man who’s going to take care of his lover, Trey has this unhingeness that makes him a lovely top to play with. He tries so hard to be gentle…
Cater – it’s a bit vaguer with him, we don’t pay enough attention to Cater and don’t have ships with him, but in theory, he seems to be someone who takes the initiative (i.e. flirts), even if this whole shtick is fake; and we usually get top vibes from characters with this attitude.
Leona – he’s just more fun when he bottoms. It’s his one redeeming quality… He is good-looking and sexy, and him being a pissy pillow princess who demands attention just works better for us than him being a cocky top – the latter would probably make him super unlikeable for us simply because of his attitude. It’s a bit difficult to explain.
Ruggie – mostly because we ship him with Leona and Jamil, and also because giving him some “power” just feels like a nice way to balance out some of the shit he goes through. Plus, a skinny and kind of weak hyena boy mounting other characters and being good at sex? That’s poetry.
Jack – he’s a big horny pup!! You might’ve noticed it by following us, but we really like earnest tops who can’t control their feelings and urges, and Jack works super well with that trope. Plus, he is a wolfboy, and we wouldn’t pass on an opportunity to use it, come on.
Octatrio – Katsu wants to fuck them more than I do I don’t know, the more we think about it, the more it makes sense to us that all three of them are silly dysfunctional tops. All three of them are assertive, aggressive in their own ways, capricious and have this “I can touch you however I want, but don’t you dare touch me” that feels more relatable than I care to admit lol It’s a very top trait for us.
Azul – it’s so easy to just consider him a bottom (no shade towards those who do, obviously), but he is so interesting as a top?? With his mannerisms, insecurities, over-the-top-ness, flamboyant nature: this whole image just reeks of red flags, and Azul is extremely good in this role of a toxic boyfriend… who is also very sentimental and romantic but just can’t allow himself to express it because he wants to always either be a charming gent or an absolute alpha. All of these sides of Azul are true – he is a dominant young man who likes to be in charge, but he could also get cutely upset and embarrassed. What a top.
Jade and Floyd – these two have such an apologetic dominant energy, so many hot surprisingly cruel moments. Like I mentioned when talking about the trio, they are capricious (even more-so than Azul), they see the rest of the cast as their playground and they enjoy being an uncompromising force way too much. Well, we really love them being an uncompromising force. Not to mention how creepy and big they are. It’s too much of a treat… The only thing that’s better than a 2 meters tall (and about 3 meters long if merform) sexy fish is two of those.
Kalim – aggressive “just like me for real” yelling aside, he’s just too much of an innocent dork. Dorks are just like douchebags – we tend to see them a certain way lol I know I called Deuce a bimbo just a couple of minutes ago, but Kalim has a different vibe? He’s not a bimbo, he’s just… a bit of an oblivious block who doesn’t get hints lol But he is also quite stubborn, which makes it very interesting when he suddenly gets very specific urges and expresses them. He fits the trope of the top who is helpless when horny super nicely.
Jamil – my personal bias is super strong with this one oof 0 days since the last time I was horny for Jamil; the whole thing just suits him way too much. Be it Jamil in his basketball form or Jamil in silks and golden chains, he always has so much natural sex appeal that it’s both aesthetically pleasing and a fun thing to play with story-wise. Well it’s obvious, we honestly do it a lot in our Jamil-related content. Plus, the fact that he could be very seductive and “feminine”… while also not really being feminine and having an athletic build and a deep voice. It’s very good.
Vil – this one is also filled with my personal bias lol But even then, Vil just looks too good in this position?? The Queen must be pleased and pleasured?? But also chased down and abused because dark themes and all?? I’m also way too into the fact that Vil is very strong and gets into fights all the time: it’s this combination of him being stoic and passionate and easily angered, snarky and genuine and cute, but also? He gives off massive “oneesan” type and I’m powerless against those. Plus let’s be honest, if there is one person at NRC who actively bottoms and is very comfortable with this fact, it has to be Vil.
Rook – the reasoning for this one is a combination of my reasoning for the Tweels and for Kalim lol A psychotic assertive weirdo who is at the same time weirdly oblivious but also scarily all-knowing, plus he’s super horny all the time and flirts with everyone… we have this bingo card thing for Katsu’s type that we fill sometimes for fun, and, if I remember correctly, Rook almost checked all the boxes. His unhingeness, his knowledge and his power gives him a lot of top sex appeal for us. By the way, the fact that he is also a fucking chunk of meat? I can’t get over the fact that Rook is bulkier than Trey.
Epel – He’s small and stupid and cute… Just like Deuce, he’s also a bimbo but a more feisty one. Plus! His inner conflict makes it even better! With Epel being not wanting to be perceived as feminine, but also enjoying being a bottom, and finding some empowerment in being a bottom, and then attempting to be a power bottom but also failing because he has no experience whatsoever, but still having this bratty spunk and eagerness to try everything. He was built for this lol
Idia – I JUST LOVE HIM WAY TOO MUCH but also? Speaking of someone who checks off all the boxes: Idia is perfect. He is so easily freaked out, but also snarky and nasty and a smart-ass and at the same time super cute and isn’t really into romance and stuff but also deeply romantic and in general he’s just a giggling shaking crying mess, it really is perfection. He’s just… so much fun when he bottoms? This is why almost all the time I draw him he’s overwhelmed with emotions when other people just do things with him: Idia is kind of the sweetest victim to torment. His face, his scrawny body, his hair, his pathetic little face and his teeth – all of it just yells “bottom” to me. I think I stopped making sense at some point here lol
Ortho – his adoration towards Idia is the most relatable thing in the world lol We have a very deep connection with these two. But we also really like the fact that it’s kind of unexpected for Ortho to take the top position? But once you start noticing how strict he could be with Idia and how pushy he is sometimes, it ends up feeling way too natural. But also the idea of someone being so cute and short but also being one of the most powerful tops in the cast is an amusing concept that we love a lot. Plus, he is a robot, so once again, we wouldn’t miss an opportunity to play around with this idea.
Lilia – similarly to Ortho, we just love the idea of a small and cute top. It’s fun, unexpected and empowering lol Especially considering how much Lilia likes to be cute and to emphasize his own cuteness with long sleeves and tiny shorts. We really love how tiny top/tall bottom look visually, but also Lilia’s personality has such a strong dominant vibe that we absolutely love. As a bonus, sometimes Lilia feels like a “pervy ossan” type. Dirty grandpa… + I didn’t think we would push the “Lilia has a big dick” jokes so far that they would become a default for our content, but honestly? If the shoe fits…
Malleus – oh the great confusing one that confuses us no longer. Malleus is very flirty, but with the way he flirts, I always feel some kind of provocation. Like he tosses the ball to another person and expects them to make their move. He’s a prince after all, his job is to enjoy the suitor’s advances and get pleased and amused by them. Or to get pissed off and send them flying. I don’t know, Malleus has such strong demanding bottom vibes to us, and with how pretty he looks when he bottoms, it’s a shame that he doesn’t get drawn like that more often. His tail needs to be rubbed in all the good places…
Silver – he is so desperately selfless and loyal and a bit oblivious, you kind of get an urge to take advantage of him when you look at him. And by “you” I mean mostly me lol And him being sleepy only enhances this feeling. He seems so… helpless, as if you could be very mean to him, both as an artist and as his top (oh lucky ones). And he’s way too pretty… Come on, white eyelashes and pretty sleepy eyes and silky hair???
Sebek – SEBEK. He is so loud and obnoxious and stupid AND A DOUCHE who ALSO HAS NO CONTROL OVER HIS OWN URGES so based on everything you’ve read in his post so far, I think you can see why he’s perfect lol Sebek is also a great example of a character being a top but not necessarily being the one in charge… but still being dominant? Sebek has such strong beliefs in hierarchy that it’s honestly very amusing to think about scenarios in which he would act so unworthily towards his liege, but technically not breaking the chain of command because Malleus allowed this… it would fry his brain. And we love it a lot. Plus, half-fae anatomy is an amazing asset to play with.
I’m sorry, I think I started to sound very horny half way through lol
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fic writer interview
I was tagged by a few lovely people, thank you! 💖
(I have two ao3 accounts - one for shameless and one for star wars but I’m just gonna answer for Gallavich because I don’t use the other account anymore and I’m not involved in that fandom anymore either.)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
63
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
155,455
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Extraction // Time Slip // Date Night // History Lesson // Bed Shopping
This surprises me because I assumed Roleplaying would be in the top 5 but it just missed out by a few kudos.
4. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! I always try to. I really really appreciate comments and I always read them all. Sometimes I even go back and reread some of the ones that really meant a lot to me. 💖
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Maybe chapter 28 of ‘31 ways we never meet’ - Time Travel. It’s kinda open ended so there’s a suggestion things might not be ok. But generally, I’m not great with writing angst, although I love reading it.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Most of them! 😅
7. Do you write crossovers?
No. I’ve only ever been tempted to once and it was a Schitt’s Creek crossover where David and Patrick move to the West Side of Chicago and are neighbours to Ian and Mickey. Lots of miscommunication which leads to David and Patrick not realising that the grumpy, scary guy is actually gay and married to the friendly, hot redhead they keep meeting around the complex.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
No.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I wish I could but it’s just not good when I’ve tried in my drafts so I don’t.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes - Camping 💖
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
@arrowflier and I wrote a back-and-forth/round robin type story about Ian and Mickey house-hunting. That was lots of fun. (Annoyingly, tumblr search is so bad that I can’t find the posts on my blog😩)
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Gallavich. Never loved a ship this much or felt so inspired by one.
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
Time Slip - I know I’m not gonna finish that (so if anyone wants to take it on, please do feel free!). I want to finish At Liberty as I got further with that and had more of a story in mind but I’m not sure I will.
15. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue. I feel most confident about my dialogue and I get a lot of positive feedback about it.
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
Action/descriptions - I struggle to write what I can imagine in my mind.
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I like when other people do it. I only speak English so I wouldn’t feel confident enough to do it or trust an online translator to come up with something accurate.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Star Wars
19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?
Ian and Mandy friendship - something post-canon where Mandy comes back to Chicago and finds herself struggling with a little bit of unrequited love towards Ian and a little bit of jealousy towards Mickey.
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
It changes. At the moment, I think it’s probably Strange Tales From The Southside. Because they’re spooky and a little bit different from what I usually write.
——
This was fun! Tagging anyone who wants to play! And I mean anyone, if you’re a writer and you want to do this - consider this your invitation! 💖
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Cherry Magic ep1 1/4 initial reaction 🍒🪄
Usually I just do one post but come on I love the manga, love the jbl, and TayNew are so extremely precious to me.
Let’s get right into it
The opening scene showing Achi’s morning routine was so beautifully done. Showing how he moves through his world is a beautiful call back to the JBL I adored it. I thought Newwie being Achi would be a bit of a stretch because… Newwie a virgin? It’s a hard role. I feel like you can really feel Achi is exhausted and separated himself after rejection after rejection he doesn’t believe he could be anything to anyone. Not even a friend. It’s the way Newwie holds him self and observes the world around him. It’s social anxiety to a T. I could see a lot of me in Achi very relatable. I just turned 30, no prospects of owning a house, no interest in dating anyone due to past exps, live far away from home my parents worry about me, before I was let go I had been working the same job for 5 years and never got promoted above basic developer despite trying, life is stagnant like Achi’s. It’s very easy just to say okay I give up. I really enjoy the realism. I love how I don’t feel… idk… super cringe about Achi’s social anxiety. It was presented like okay he’s like this. Very satisfying. Loved seeing the JBL actor again. Loved Karan looking over at Achi at the end of his speech. He’s always watching him. I bet Karan put Achi’s bday on the notification board.
Okay okay picture time
This morning run scene is going to literally haunt my life with how beautiful and effective it is.
It’s called social anxiety. He can’t accept the relationships he has actually like him which is very sad. I’ve had to work through mine with work books etc very very tough work. Just second guessing relationships and rejecting yourself before they can reject you. Newwie really killed his facial expressions. I have so much respect for him.
Newwie is ✨beautiful✨ how is he so precious oh my lord. I’ve only know Achi for this short amount of time but I already agree with Karan Achi is the cutest thing to exist he needs to be protected.
Tay in a suit 🙌🏻 Tay is god tier with this hair and his tailored suits holy shit. Who could resist this man? Tell me? He’s not my usual oh I can pretend he’s a girl type but he’s fucking hot as hell. I’d consider kissing him.
Dhshakosusnznmlxi look how fond he is of Achi. I AM SO GLAD TAY IS PLAYING A CHARACTER ALREADY IN LOVE WITH NEWWIE! I was worried his character would be too similar to the one he played in 3 gentle bros but Karan has a warm in his success a fearlessness in the way he moves. I adore him.
Hehhehehehehheheheh I agree Karan get your man.
#cherry magic#cherry magic the series#karanachi#karan x achi#cherry magic achi#cherry magic karan#taynew#thai bl#Jenny’s watching#cherry magic ep1#cherry magic episode 1#cherry magic Thai#cherry magic thailand#cherry magic th
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Izumi and Courtship & Relationships
These were two separate posts that I'm smashing into one.
So, let’s talk about Izumi, and their view on relationships. I’ve kind of wanted to talk about it for a bit, but I never had the thoughts organized properly or really thought about it.
When it comes to serious relationships, they have a hard time surviving for Izumi. Not because he gets bored with them or anything, it’s because he has a hard time balancing his personal and work life. They take their work very seriously, almost to a detrimental point. They're much better about it nowadays, but they rarely get committed to people. It’s hard for them to commit because they knows their work is important because they help watch over the human realm. Commitment is also difficult for them because nine times out of ten, the people they do have romantic feelings for are usually mortal. They can handle death but, it always broke their heart a little more and more when they’d die before them.
When it comes to other supernatural beings, those relationships for them were purely sexual in nature, because thye would never admit it, but falling in love scares them. They honestly can’t answer if they'd choose love over his commitment to his work. For all intents and purposes, love would win out, but it would be something that would cause a rift between themself and a partner.
They're very much the giving type of person, and they’ll never ask much from their partner. If anything, some might say they give a little too much. That has caused issues in their relationships, because it might seem like they try to buy their love or not let themselves be taken care of. They always have to be the provider. They've gotten better about it, but it’s still something that would pop up in a relationship.
Finally, in the universes that he has fallen in love with someone, namely, the corrupted deity AU that I originally made with @carnivorarium, when he did let himself truly love someone and then lost them, he snapped completely and decided that he would kill an entire pantheon of gods in revenge. Now, that doesn’t sound too bad, but to do so, he’s literally killing himself to do so. Not to mention that in one ending of that, he would happily imprison Micah to force him into loving him. The love he once held for him, now became an obsession and he’s in denial about Micah rejecting him.
As far as platonic relationships go, I’ve detailed his most important one imo here .
Though Izumi has an almost fatherly relationship with his students, gladly answering their questions and always having his door open for them. Hell, he even makes lunch for them, and in one person’s case, namely @lunarscaled‘s OC Lyric, eventually, he’ll likely unofficially adopt them, partly because of their draconic nature and his own instincts kicking in, and hopefully because they’ll eventually come to trust him. He’s got strong fatherly instincts, and threatening his students is actually the fastest way to piss him off to the point where he says nothing and would outright smite whoever threatened them.
He considers himself an old-fashioned romantic, and the easiest way to catch his eye is to court him. He likes being wooed and treated nicely by whoever catches his eye, and offering quiet dates is what he loves. Once he’s actually with someone, he’s the type who isn’t afraid to break decorum to show affection to a partner. If the event is serious enough, he’ll maintain his composure, but if not, he’ll gladly give them kisses and hugs in front of others.
When it comes to enemies, he surprisingly remembers very few of them. That being said, if angered enough, Izumi is the type to be completely cold to someone. If angry to the point of fighting him, Izumi doesn’t banter around, and will actively focus on eliminating said enemy.
When it comes to courting Izumi, or wanting to gain his attention romantically, he much prefers people who will be themselves with him. He doesn’t expect this at the start of things, because he considers that hypocritical considering that he hides the fact that he’s not human as well as his status as a former deity. But if the relationship has any chance of even beginning to take anything beyond platonic, then be honest with him and he will in turn be honest with you. He himself is quite old fashioned and will often be the type to pay attention to what his intended partner might enjoy, especially when it comes to food and drink.
If the relationship is something serious, he’ll often go out of his way to get things he knows they’ll enjoy. Though he’s also the type to offer affection as part of showing his love for someone as well. Typically this will result in him cuddling up close to them, or giving them kisses on the cheek or hand. He actually likes it when someone presses their palm against his cheek, and if comfortable enough, even purrs when they do it. In very rare cases, and this is reserved only for romantic partners and family, but he’ll even allow them to decorate his horns.
Decorating horns is something that is considered a deeply intimate and sacred ritual, as when it comes to a dragon’s horns, they’re one of the most prized and valued items that hunters used to take. If Izumi allows you to decorate his horns, it’s akin to him saying he trusts you with his life. In fact, horn decoration used to be a marriage ritual among divine dragons, and doing so represented the deep bond between them.
Izumi’s also not afraid to use his magic to create illusions for his partner, or perform tricks for them. Honestly, he’s the type who likes to let his partner take the lead and enjoys learning what they love doing. He loves letting them into his hobbies and in turn sharing the things he enjoys with them. Expect to have a lot of nights in the kitchen learning how to cook with him though, or by a fireplace during the cold nights, curled up with a book.
He’s also the type of partner to leave romantic notes over the house every now and again, or encouraging messages. Normally he’s out of the door before his partner may be, so he’ll also make a lunch or breakfast for them and have it put away or on the table for them when they do wake up.
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Anon wrote: Hi! I’ve read a lot of your posts, especially your ones about the inferior functions which was really informative to me. (Thank you!). I am fairly sure that I am an XSTJ type. I was wondering if you could give your insight on which one you think is more likely? I can’t figure out the order of the functions but I think I use Si Te Ne and Fi. Sorry this is kind of long.
For background on my Fi section - I have recently had some problems in a workplace — bullying/unsafe practice/poor management. It escalated and fell apart in a big way (I got screwed over basically lol) and I eventually made the tough decision to leave for my own well-being. I had been involved with the company for 2 years and gave everything I had to that company. It was my dream job and I worked so hard for it. And I worked so hard for my degree too. My friends and family and even colleagues told me it wasn’t my fault and they would’ve quit too and they told me I handled it well. I feel like I defined myself on my work. I was so proud of my … success? I guess. I don’t even know.
This first part I have this sort of recurring issue in my life where something goes wrong at work for example and I start feeling this way when normally i’m fairly level headed and ambitious. I think it’s Fi, and maybe inferior? I thought I was an ISTJ but your description of inferior Fi really landed with me lol.
It’s like I’m having some sort of existential crisis. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or maybe I never did. I question everything about myself. I am trying so hard to figure out what matters to me and I can’t. I don’t know where to go in life. I’m so emotional for no reason. I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I’m pushing my friends and family away because I’m embarrassed that I had to leave my job. I’ve isolated myself from everyone. I feel so irritable all the time and I hate it. I feel like I failed.
People close to me have told me I need to stop being so hard on myself but I don’t know how. I feel like I’m wasting my time and my life by being so emotional. It’s so incredibly frustrating. It’s not like me, usually I bounce back and try again but this has really shaken me up. I feel like I should ‘follow my heart’ so I can be happy and fulfilled but I don’t even know what I want and I’m wasting time trying to decide, the more time passes the more restless I feel. I’m so scared of getting old and dying with regrets about the way I’ve lived my life. I think I’m also scared of not being able to make my family proud or make myself proud. I’m so torn and lost. I don’t know how to stop defining myself and my worth on like … working lmao.
More generally, I think I can get stuck in patterns where I worry excessively about my values and who I really am. It happens maybe a couple times a year lmao. But I also think I usually do know my values? There are things I don’t tolerate and have no patience for and like I wouldn’t change my mind on it cos it’s one of my core values. Like, bullying/injustice/unfairness etc. So I don’t know if my Fi is inferior. I have a lot of feelings, I just usually like to avoid them but I’m getting better at dealing with them on a day to day basis, unless something happens like my work drama. I don’t share my feelings with people easily cos I don’t like feeling vulnerable. I know it’s like a necessary part of the human experience though.
When I was in my teens I went to therapy and didn’t cry in therapy for years lol. Every time I almost cried I stopped talking and pushed it down until I could continue. They always told me it’s okay to cry but I always told them I hate crying cos it makes me feel weak. I’ve grown up some since then lol and i know crying or emotion isn’t a weakness. Logically I know that and would never consider someone else weak for crying or expressing emotion. I think it’s a good thing and healthy. Still, I struggle to stop seeing it that way in myself and always beat myself up when I know I shouldn’t. It’s one of my biggest struggles in life. I do cry in front of some people now though hahaha. (And then feel v embarrassed later!) lol.
For Ne, I have a tendency to catastrophize and assume the worst. Like, if one of my family members goes out for a drive and doesn’t text me when I know they should have arrived at the destination by now. I start to think something bad must have happened to them and I start panicking.
It used to be way worse when I was younger and I did it with everything. Car trips, plane rides, being picked up late from school, etc. Maybe that’s just anxiety tho? I tend to prepare for the worst because I don’t like getting caught off guard. I’m known for being a worry-er in my family lol. I worry about everyone. I heard that like imagining multiple worst scenarios for a situation can be low/ inferior Ne.
I think I can use Ne sometimes though. I’m bad at mind mapping and stuff like that, it doesn’t come naturally but I’m good at planning holidays and coming up with ideas of places to go or things to do/see. I get excited about stuff like that, and I like thinking about the future and possibilities of things I could do. I just tend to be more focused on like my life in the here-and-now. And I have to try pretty hard to think in that big expansive mind-map way lol. I sucked at doing mind maps in school.
I think I’m maybe a Si user, because I don’t think I’d even exist without memories. Everything I do and see and experience is for and guided by my memories. Idk though that’s probably true for everyone, do individual people even exist without their memories? it’s like, what makes us unique. There’d be hardly any difference between people if it weren’t for their memories and experiences. Everything i’ve ever done, ever seen, smelled, touched, tasted or heard has made me who I am. I can’t go anywhere without being reminded of the experiences and connections i’ve had before. It’s just intrinsic to who I am. Part of the reason I love music is just the way it can bring you back to an exact moment in time and you can relive it like you’re there. It’s the way I navigate the world I think. I know what to do because i’ve seen it before and if I haven’t then i research to figure out how. I can’t just do things with no preparation.
Te — I think it’s maybe Aux or not dominant because i find it hard to think about how I use it lol, I just do. but idk I’ll try. I rely heavily on data and facts and statistics. I won’t believe anything without proof. I won’t make a claim if I can’t back it up with reliable evidence. I care about efficiency, I like things to be done and done right lol. I often end up doing things myself in group projects and organising the work + delegating tasks to everyone else. When I was studying I organised like all the group work cos otherwise nothing got done lol. And I usually ended up editing and cutting it together at the end so I could make sure it was coherent and looked good.
I like to help my family organise their life admin stuff because I’m good at it. I plan holidays cos I’m good at it, I know how to make a plan that makes sense and works. I research where things are in relation to each other so I can make an itinerary that gets the most done each day with the least amount of time wasted on travelling from A to B etc. I was good at making step by step plans for essay writing at uni and then followed them to get it done. I love writing to do lists for myself and using schedules. I can’t work without a to do list or a schedule lol i write one like every day. Even when I had jobs where I did the same thing every day I wrote a list to keep me on track.
When my friends have their lives falling apart they usually come to me to help them with a game plan lol. Sometimes I do get overwhelmed and stressed, but I feel like in serious crisis situations I’m usually able to put aside any feelings and just get shit done. I’ve had family medical emergencies on my hands before or a loved one getting evicted before and have managed to just go into action mode and deal with the problem first and then feel however i feel about what happened a few days later lmao. Feelings get in the way in situations like that imo and there’s no time for it when shit is hitting the fan. I can be bossy sometimes in moments like that but usually apologise later and people understand that I was just dealing w the problem at hand lol and my bossiness wasn’t personal.
I just thought of an example of what I think is me using Te. There was one time where I was with my mum and brother. Somehow a chemical got spilled on the tiles, was left there overnight and kinda destroyed them. My mum was like absolutely devastated and got so emotional and angry, she was blaming herself and also thinking we would have to spend a lot of money to get it fixed and then regretting buying the house in the first place because it has these tiles haha like she was so upset, my brother was mostly just standing there looking concerned and trying to calm her down. I had no idea how to clean chemicals off that type of of tile nor what to do to fix it when it was destroyed by chemicals.
The most obvious and simple solution to me was to just google what to do and find out. (and part of me was surprised that they hadn’t done it yet lmao). So I did that, found out what kind of tiles they were and how to clean off the chemical without making it worse etc. (checked a few different sources to make sure it was reliable info) And then I told them what I’d read and suggested we try it. And then i told everyone what we needed to get and what we needed to do and the 3 of us got to work lmao. And the tiles looked sooo much better after. Everyone stopped freaking out and it was fine, we ended up having fun cleaning the tiles together lol. And then my mum and brother were like ‘good job!’ and were thanking me. I remember thinking it was kinda silly to thank me for that cos I barely did anything to be thanked for, like I literally couldn’t imagine going about that situation in any other way. it was the only thing to do that made sense.
Anyway ok I’m gonna leave it here. If you read this far thank you so much for your time. I’d be grateful for your opinion but I also understand you get a lot of asks like this so I get it if not! Thanks again!
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All type assessment requests must follow the instructions on the contact page carefully. You must answer all the questions from the Function Theory Guide for every function of the two stacks you are comparing. It is especially important to address all the points meticulously when you are comparing two very similar types like ISTJ and ESTJ.
Since you didn't follow the instructions properly, the info you provided isn't enough for me to draw any firm conclusion about your type. The most I can say is that nothing you've brought up makes me doubt ISTJ. What you seem to believe is inferior Fi (grip) isn't very convincing to me so far. You also mention receiving therapy and did not specify the reason, but that would be a very important clue for determining unhealthy aspects of your function use.
About the existential crisis: There's nothing wrong with taking pride in your work. As an individual, you have the freedom to decide how much to value work among all the other things in your life. While it's important to know and honor your values, in the real world, you don't have the time, energy, or resources to value everything equally. There are no perfect decisions, no such thing as "having it all". When you choose one path, other paths become unavailable to you. Practical limitations and constraints force you into valuing some things more than others, and you have to make some difficult trade-offs in order to keep life moving forward.
Every trade-off you make will have its up and down sides. The downside to devoting so much of yourself to career is that you will be prone to feeling some form of devastation when things go wrong in that area of your life. Similarly, the stay-at-home parent who identifies too strongly with being a parent will suffer some form of devastation when the kids grow up and move out. The price of living a life fully engaged with what you're doing is feeling a sense of loss or grief when it inevitably ends.
Every trade-off you make in life has consequences. You might not feel them right away, but they will come eventually. How do you deal with them? There are a variety of possibilities:
"Diversification": Make your trade-offs wisely so that you mitigate the impact of the consequences. For example, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Have other equally valid ways of defining your identity. However, this means spreading yourself more thinly.
"Commitment": Follow through with your decisions to the very end. Take full responsibility for the trade-offs you make, which means fully embracing the consequences incurred. In other words, accept the reality of your situation and keep moving along.
"Change": Perhaps the devastation was a sign that you need to do things differently or make different choices. Enact the change that is required to avoid suffering the same sort of devastation again.
"Reframe": Look at your devastation from various angles. Is there a different way to find meaning in it? For example, perhaps you're blowing the situation out of proportion? The problem wasn't that you failed? The problem was you were working for a company with terrible leadership that did not allow you to flourish? Therefore, the lesson isn't to quit the work and give up your identity, but to quit the company and find a better company that truly appreciates your talent and devotion. Or start your own company with full control over how it operates.
You mention recurring issues with managing feelings and emotions. It seems to stem from a tendency to interpret situations much more negatively than is warranted, which leads you to get trapped in the most negative perspective available. The stubborn refusal to see your experiences differently even when others point out how wrong you are might be indicative of Si+Fi loop. The lack of open-mindedness, in terms of not being able to acknowledge or generate alternative viewpoints, might be indicative of inferior Ne. ESTJs are usually more mentally flexible than that and also much more willing to rationalize away their failures, which doesn't fit with your tendency to feel excessively responsible, embarrassed, and ashamed for everything.
Thus, there is compelling evidence that Te+Ne development is required for getting out of the (Si+Fi) mental trap, which suggests that your extraverted funcitons are the weaker pair. It sounds like the most logical way out of the existential crisis is to take control of your life and start a new chapter, to find a place where you can feel both fulfilled and appreciated. Are you resisting proper use of Te? If so, perhaps you need to reflect on why.
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Just saw ur post/answer to an ask, and:
"I have a Mutant World au, MW AU, which is my 2012 separated AU-type project. Tis my baby. So young, but so full of trauma"
And God, I am now in love with this AU. I love me a good separated type AU.
And one that Leo and Donnie separated together in the TMNT 2012 version (honestly, I just love Leo and Donnie's relationship/dynamic in general, so I am always happy to see more of it. And TMNT 2012 is a fav. of mine too), and basically alone/only have each other. And being the only humans in a world full of mutants, but like, also Kraang experimented on humans (Damn, they got Leatherheaded, April/April family'ed. The poor boys; happy they escaped. Even if they still have to be in hiding) - which makes me wonder if they might got some April powers stuff going on; that would be so cool, and then when two mutant bros (Raph and Mikey) do stumble in their lair, Leo tries to just straight up murder them (protective mama bear mode. We only have each other mode), and Donnie has to talk him out of it, and then they get to be not so alone anymore with Raph, Mikey, and Splinter.
It is just great, and now I want this as actual story or something someday; it just sounds so good.
Also makes me curious about some of the human characters (well, kinda/mostly/sometimes human characters for some of these) like April and her Dad (kindaaaa to both of those though), Casey (also kinda a bit), Shredder (until later on), and Karai (again, until later on). Oh the blind chef that I love a lot, but his name is hard for me to spell/remember.
The hypothetical other separated AU you talked about was interesting to me. Not the usually my cup of tea (i.e., how and/or who was separated and who stayed), but you did make it sound interesting. And I liked Leo and Raph just trying not to hurt their missing, now found little bros, and Mikey believing them first after trying to kill them for a bit, and Donnie being a little slower doing so, because he is loyal. It is just all very good.
Last of all, and not related to that one post at all, but thank you for making that post, about how the universes/dimensions and the people of the different universes/dimensions; in that case 2012 and ROTTMNT are different and each universe/dimension has different laws, because God, do I feel like some people forgot that/don't' realize that/don't take it into account as much as they should imo. Not all ofc; just you, some/a few at least.
First off: I totally forgot this ask existed and I am so sorry for that! Things have been hectic or else I would have responded much sooner 😓😓
Secondly: No problem! I think people forget how different so many aspects of the universes are, and that the differences are what make them awesome, and not flawed!
Thirdly: YEEE, MY BOIS *hugs BB and LB* 2012Leo&Donnie never get their own outcasted separated world together (or so I’ve seen) and so I have lowkey given them one. Raph and Mikey have their own kind of traumatic past, but these boys are on a whole ‘nother level…
I love Big Brother(BB) and Little Brother(LB) so much because they understand very little, and yet what they do understand matters more than anything else. They need each other, they can’t let the Kraang find them, and Mutants are never to be trusted.
They pick up the basics of the world outside the Kraang labs as they go, but BB spends so much time protecting LB from it that LB never gets his chance to see the ✨wonders✨ of the planet so unlike Dimension X. He has his books, but it’s not the same. BB gets surface time, but his fear blocks him from seeing anything other than dangers up there.
Of course, then they meet the boys, and Mikey helps LB to see everything he missed, and Raph helps BB to understand there’s a balance between protecting and shielding. If BB shields LB from everything, then LB won’t learn to really protect himself and will never get the freedom he deserves~
I briefly considered giving them psychic powers, but that’s still a ‘to be decided’ for now. We shall see ;)
HAVE THIS THING THAT BRINGS ME JOY
M7Craft from DeviantArt made this. It’s how she imagines Leo, and even though that’s not how I see him- I LOVE IT WITH MY HEART AND SOUL BECAUSE BB HAS LIFE! LOOKIT THE BROODING BOY!
They have names and designations. The names are what they call each other (Big Brother and Little Brother), but they consider themselves to be the Kraang experiment designations, 1683(Leo) and 1684(Donnie).
We talk story sometimes and M7Craft is working on art for me because we want to give it life since I’ve already got too much on my plate to write a full story and comics are not my forté.
One day 🥺
I make clips and stuff sometimes, which spawn from a random statement or question. Like this-
"How much longer?"
1683's whisper came out harsher than intended, but he felt too exposed in the alleyway, in full view of any mutants who happened to be walking by.
They wore their protective armor, their hoods and mouth pieces- what had Little Brother called them? Visors?- that hide a fair amount of their face from view, but anything could happen on the surface, and he was experienced enough with mutant mindsets to know that they did not trust anyone whose face they couldn't see.
A wise suspicion to uphold, but dangerous nonetheless.
Unable to use his hands to speak while picking the lock, 1684 consented to vocal communication. "New lock. Different than practice one... Almost- there..."
There was a click and 1684 quietly cheered, "Success!"
1683 ruffled his hair in congratulations and then moved to push open the door as his Little Brother got to his feet. 1684 remained in the alley until 1683 reasoned it safe. After a quick motion for him to enter, his Little Brother darted past him and through the back room, searching through the boxed and canned items.
All his senses on alert, 1683 left the door ajar to keep from being locked in and then placed an empty can in front of it, as a warning if someone tried to enter. Little Brother began filling his bag, so 1683 allowed him out of his sight long enough to move from food to supplies, examining the options.
Little Brother already tinkered with anything that they could get their hands on, so necessities other than food were few and far between.
Considering everything 1684 did was for them, he always indulged his Little Brother's comforts whenever he could, paying special care to the stacks of books, trying to aim for ones that could prove useful.
He picked out two, both with words that he could not understand, and knew that Little Brother might get another chance to use his prized dictionary. He grabbed more matches for their lantern and then joined Little Brother once more. Sitting on the floor, his finger seemed to tap the air as he counted the prices in his head, slowly moving his collected items into his bag.
1683 placed his objects on the pile and Little Brother paused, giving him a curious look that questioned the decision. He gave one nod and 1684 picked up his prizes with interest, a warm feeling flooding 1683's chest as tired eyes slowly lit up. Even that bit of subtle joy was enough to make this trip worth it.
Little Brother checked the price on the cover- they only took the books that had those because they seemed cheaper than the rest- and then picked up the other one.
1683 let him have a minute to browse that one as well before he raised a hand, the motion gathering his Little Brother’s attention. He informed him that they needed to get moving, and 1684 apologized, adding that he had something for Big Brother as well.
Before he could deny the gift, his Little Brother pulled out a package of mint tea leaves and 1683 lowered his hand, realizing that his one weakness had been discovered. Brown eyes danced as Little Brother put it back in the bag, adding what he'd brought and closing the flap, zipping open a side pocket and then counting out the mutant's trading paper- money- from what they had.
1684 handed it to him and he held up five fingers, reminding him that if he didn't come back in five minutes, he was to head to the Bunker and not look back. Little Brother rolled his eyes, and 1683 huffed at his inability to take the danger seriously.
They didn't know if there was someone waiting in the store itself, and just because they'd never seen anyone yet, didn't mean that wouldn't change.
1683 waited until he got a nod of consent, one that seemed more to pacify him than anything, and then he made his way out into the store. He remained on the defensive as he located one of the money storing machines and then slipped their payment within, racing to the back again.
There was a moment of intense panic when Little Brother was nowhere to be found, and then he realized the can had been moved and he was standing by the door.
The adrenaline in his veins hardened the glare 1683 gave him, but Little Brother was undisturbed, locking the door and silently heading out into the alley.
He let his nerves out in a long sigh, but obediently followed suit. It was about time they got below anyway. They had their supplies, and Little Brother would be safe and underground for another week or so. He'd check the windows for new projects after Little Brother was settled in the Bunker.
1684 shivered and 1683 realized that the temperature had dropped some. Knowing how easily Little Brother tended to get sick, he locked a hand on his elbow and urged him forward. They didn't have the resources that mutants did and their Bunker was surrounded by area that was far from sanitary, so the less they taunted fate, the better.
Little Brother allowed it, taking one last look at the street lights behind them before they dived deeper into the alley. Sometimes he felt bad that Little Brother didn't get to see much of the city, and was wary of the ignorance of mutants that 1684 bore because of it.
However, this was the price he was willing to pay. Little Brother was safe and healthy, though he probably wouldn't sleep that day since he had new books to read. Even if his choices to keep him protected left Little Brother bitter on hard nights, as long as he still had a Little Brother to be annoyed with him, 1683 would have no regrets.
Waving him down the open manhole, he watched Little Brother descend into the dank sewers. With one last careful scan around them, 1683 leapt after him, leaving the dangers and worries of the surface behind.
This is one of my earliest works while examining the bros and their relationships and BB’s thoughts on everything and sometimes they seem pretty bland in my writing because even I cannot do them justice but that’s okay because I love them so much!
Perhaps one day the world shall too. 💚💜💙💚
#Mutant World Iteration#imagionationstation#leonardo#leo hamato#leo tmnt 2012#leo tmnt#donnie hamato#donnie tmnt#tmnt donnie#tmnt donatello 2012#tmnt separated au#tmnt donatello#tmnt leonardo#tmnt leo#tmnt fandom#donatello hamato#leonardo hamato#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012#teenage mutant ninja turtles
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Here’s a bit of an update to this post. Put in a new post because for some reason I can’t get the reblog to let me upload audio files. It’s almost like Tumblr is a fucking mess. I don’t usually complain about it, I see posts going around complaining about the updates every time they happen, and I agree with them but don’t say anything because I figure as long as they let me keep writing my words and posting them that’s all I need here even if the new UI is absolute bullshit… but God, it’s getting really bad. Anyway. That’s not the point, I’ve just spent a while trying to get a reblog to do what it’s supposed to do and I’m annoyed about it. Please consider my annoyance registered.
It doesn't even really need to be a reblog, because it doesn't follow up on that much stuff from that other post. Mainly, it's an update to that one because that post talked about the Nish Kumar/Mike Birbiglia podcast episode, and this post will also do that, so I wanted to put them together, but it's fine.
It’s a bit of an odd coincidence, that someone sent me a 2021 episode of Nish Kumar on Mike Birbiglia’s podcast last week, as well as sending me all his Mike Birbiglia comedy albums because he’d finally talked me into listening to the guy. Partly with the help of Nish Kumar, who spoke so highly of Mike Birbiglia on that 2021 podcast that I said, okay, that endorsement is enough for me. Then, a couple of days later, there was a new episode of the Comedian’s Comedian podcast, featuring Nish Kumar talking about his newly released special, in which he says he likes that he was able to “Birbiglia-fy” this show more than his previous ones. He even specifically references that podcast episode in 2021, and says the advice he got on there from Mike Birbiglia inspired him to make Your Power Your Control into what it ended up becoming. Which is quite cool, and I’ve gotten into Birbiglia’s comedy just in time to understand what he’s talking about.
There are also some references to Kitson, obviously, because you can’t talk about the history of narrative comedy without discussing the legacy – for better or for worse – of Daniel Kitson.
I do see what he's talking about more clearly now. I still have questions about what this type of comedy is, but I enjoy the way Nish Kumar explains it here. A comedy show created by putting everything in the right order. By spreading out the "general stand-up" bits across a show so they wrap around the main story, instead of doing the main story and then the general bits, so then the main story becomes a general bit in itself. I find it really interesting to hear Nish Kumar get that advice on Mike Birbiglia's podcast in 2021, then watch the show in which he took that advice that was filmed in 2022 (Your Power Your Control, now out on video, everyone needs to watch it, message me for a link), then hear him talk in 2023 about how the advice he got on Birbiglia's podcast helped him structure it that way. He's right, it turns out! He did do all those things in that show! Which would have been a more interesting connection if I could have made this a reblog of the previous post, and then more easily referred people to the Kumar/Birbiglia clip that was embedded in that post, to compare to the Kumar/Goldsmith clip in this one.
I did put a lot of stock in Nish Kumar recommending Mike Birbiglia, though, because in addition to making the type of comedy I absolutely love, Nish Kumar happens to also love the type of comedy I love. He has a bit in one of his older stand-up shows about how he finds it weird to be a comedian after spending so many years obsessed with comedy, he's basically a comedy fan but his fandom got out of hand and now he's on stage. And I love the kind of comedy fan Nish Kumar is.
Okay - The Office, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, and Community are hardly the smallest of underground shows, where it's a massive coincidence if I love them and someone else does too. But still, I enjoy that he got asked about the TV shows he watches over and over, and his answer is pretty well the same as mine. That's not the exact same as the answer to "What's your favourite TV show?" I have lots of favourite TV shows. I have a small number of TV shows saved on my main hard drive, because I've seen every single episode over and over and over, to the point where I have every episode pretty much memorized, and if I'm looking for a comfort show to go back to while eating a meal, I keep those easily accessible. That small number of shows includes 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, and Community. The Office US was on the list, has sort of dropped off, I don't love it as much as those others, but I did used to re-watch episodes of it constantly, I've seen every episode more than probably any other show except 30 Rock/Parks and Rec.
And obviously, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace is a fucking masterpiece. If anyone else likes Garth Marenghi and Nish Kumar, there's a great episode of the Rule of Three podcast where Nish waxes poetic for an hour about how amazing that show is.
Also, of course, Nish Kumar's a rare person who can rival me in being a fan of the Chocolate Milk Gang. There are lots of clips out there of him talking sincerely and beautifully about his massive respect for Daniel Kitson and David O'Doherty, but I can't be bothered to find them right now, and would prefer to represent that with this:
And then, obviously, there's this, the compilation I made last year of Nish Kumar being adorable in his fandom of John Oliver:
And there are quite a few instances on The Bugle the suggest Nish Kumar probably would, if called upon to do so, die for Andy Zaltzman. Or at least throw hands to defend his honour. I mean - I'm kind of joking, but honestly, you can feel the underlying respect for that man radiating from Nish Kumar even when they're talking shit.
This latest episode he did of the Comedian's Comedian podcast also reminds me of how quick he is to credit Bridget Christie as a massive influence on him, and talk about how great her work is, which I really like.
The point is that Nish Kumar knows quite a lot about British and American comedy. So if he says a dichotomy between the two exists and Birbiglia is on the British side of it despite being American, there is something to that. I will take his word over my brother's on that (a statement that would make more sense if this were a reblog of my other post where I discuss being confused about it).
The other point is that various people have been trying to get me to listen to Mike Birbiglia for about a year, but the only endorsement I really needed was Nish Kumar. If you're trying to get me to listen to something, find out of Nish Kumar's ever praised it, and then play me a clip of him doing so, and that'll work. I'd probably give, like, Jeff Dunham a try if you told me Nish Kumar likes it (I don't know why that was the first person who came to my mind when I tried to think of a comedian I'd never get into, but I think it's a good example).
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Fanfic ask! 🥺 🤡 🛒💋🤩🤗
Thank you so much for the ask! If anyone else wants to send one, the list is here
🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?
Most of the time, I write singular character focused stuff, but Julian being uncharacteristically kind to someone has always been endearing to me. Whether it be taking Captain outside to avoid loud party music or reassuring Pat that it’s not his fault he got cheated on. Hugging his wife or hanging out with his daughter, stuff like that.
🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?
I technically haven’t written it yet, but there’s a scene I’m planning for the fic where Julian and Pat live, and Pat finds some of Thomas’ poetry online, though it isn’t attached to him. Pat shows Julian and the conversation basically boils down to:
Pat: Well it really spoke to me….
Julian: it’s about worms
I don’t write a lot of funny stuff, I usually write when I’m sad, or if an idea suddenly hits me.
🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.
I’m really attached to Captain and butterflies, not only does it symbolise his transformation, but also his disconnect from his former self. A caterpillar looks almost nothing like a butterfly, but it becomes it’s true self when it changes in such a way. Julian and alcohol intertwine quite a lot, but that’s probably due to my own experiences with people drinking. Stories involving Thomas usually have more similes and metaphors, or colourful descriptions because that’s how I think he would describe it in his head. He’d try to make a poem and end up comparing one thing to another in no particular pattern. I try to make it sound more pretty? If that makes sense? Like 1800s novels I’ve read. I know he’s from 1824, but I drew a lot of inspiration from The Picture of Dorian Gray when writing Thomas stuff.
💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?
I love reading them, even if it’s a ship I don’t like because how it comes about is interesting regardless. But I cannot write them to save my own life, I’ve done it before and it never seems to go well. It’s so much more natural for me to write love that can’t be expressed like Captain or complicated like Julian or Thomas. I’ll get used to it eventually, but for now, I’ll just enjoy other people’s lovely works.
🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?
Captain feels the most natural because he’s the first Ghosts character I ever wrote and probably the character I’ve wrote the most for, but I don’t know what more I can explore about him that someone else hasn’t already written, considering he’s so popular. I feel bad throwing my own Captain onto everyone else’s good Captain fics. Julian is really fun to write because me amuses and frustrates me so much as a person. The best way to describe what it’s like to write Thomas is flowery and I love it.
🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
I don’t know if I’m qualified enough to give advice, since I’ve only been posting a year or so, but I’ll throw my two cents in anyway. Don’t feel obligated to post or finish a story just because you think it’ll disappoint someone if you don’t. Engage with your readers and fellow writers, @ginevralinton always leaves wonderful comments on my fics and writes fantastic ones of her own. You’ll feel more connected with the fandom your write for.
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TEN Q’S:
1. when are you usually online? I’m a terminally online person, since I still have access to internet and my phone during my work hours. But that said I’m most ‘active’ and ready to respond in mornings and evenings. Unlike most everyone else I know I’d consider myself a morning person. Crazy. Also I’m EST.
2. what verses are you involved in outside of this page? My other blog is an OC who works in whatever ‘verse’ I need to, but that said I’m not orthodox in how I ‘involve myself’ in fandoms. They’re generally toxic and cliquey places to be and I vastly prefer interacting on a person to person basis. That said my big fandoms in writing would be... Fantasy, AITSF, and Ark.nights.
3. what is your biggest RP pet peeve? I have too many to count, it’s like for as much as I’ve ‘loosened up’ in my writing I’ve tightened down on just as many other things. Rae knows what I’m getting at given how often we see eye to eye on proper ‘etiquette’ for roleplaying. I could almost copy hers line by line lmao. I think the big one is-
Blog hopping. Those who create blogs, gain followers, entreat likes and asks and post simple starters, then muse and go to another blog while abandoning the previous. . . all in the span of like a couple weeks. I can’t vibe with it and I won’t invest myself in it because by the time I cycle one or two posts the character and blog will be gone.
4. are you drawn to specific types of muses? Back when I was first writing I definitely had an archetype I was drawn to and ‘good at’. And it’s why I could boil down a lot of my OCs from my teenage years as .... Wylan but they’re ____. Shitlords, cocksure, comedic hell raisers. With this multi and my writing in general nowadays I’m setting out to avoid writing similar muses if only to test myself. Otherwise believe me I’d have added many many other muses.
5. are there recurring themes in your writing that people might not notice? Given the above... not really? I’m not sure I’m an avid enough writer with enough self awareness and forethought to add themes to my roleplay. ESPECIALLY the ones that I’m doing through subtlety! Maybe a thing here or there has some thematic arc but overall nah.
6. what are your favorite RP trends? Goddamn do I love pinned posts and carrds/gdocs for bios and rules. From the outset of writing on tumblr these tiny box themes have been the bane of my existence whether its readability or finding the damn links. The pinned posts tend to have all the info you need right there and that’s just fantastic. Anything to keep me from actually going on blogs.
7. what is your process for starting a new story with someone? As much as I love plotting and talking things over with my writing partners, that isn’t super important! Some of my favorite writing partners and I exchange at most a few words every a week if that. With that in mind... the process to get going is enthusiasm. I like when my writing partners approach up front with an idea or react with equal force when I bring the same vibes. If you give you’ll get! Unprompted asks to get things going is always welcome as well. I thrive off random asks.
8. how do you feel about duplicates? The only muse of mine I actually have to worry or think about this is Diluc, and that’s because there’s a hundred of them out there given the size of the genpact fandom. Fortunately I don’t interact with that fandom outside of maybe 3 or 4 blogs so I’m not needing to follow or see too much of it. As for how I feel about them? I don’t think I’d want to interact or follow them. No malice but the twinsie stuff has never felt like a thing I want to indulge in. You can exist over there just fine, right?
9. how long have you been involved in roleplaying? I first got into it because my ex in high school was into it and simpy little me was trying to do everything I could to stay in her graces. This was back in 2006 I want to say? And continued up through around 2012. Then I took a break from it at large until I joined tumblr in 2015 and started worming my way into the RPC. To mixed results. :^)
10. is there a muse or verse you wish you could write in, but haven’t? I really really want to write more things in a Soul Eater and Golden Sun verse!!! Like these are bar none some of my favorite fictions and haven gotten little tastes of a SE fandom 4ish years ago I’m still hungry for more. Seriously. My SE verse for Wylan was a great one.
Tagged by: @more-than-a-princess and @inxtricabilis (thank you both!! I had to hold myself back on the peeve one...)
Tagging: @psychcdelica @mielmoto @aplushemporium @alakenie and @darkflood get over here bff
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😎 rules: post 3 snippets from published work, and 3 from your wips
@theharrowing i'm pretending that you tagged me because i'm bored and this seems fun lol (putting them all under the cut because they'll prob be long)
tagging: anyone that would like to do it, please feel free to say i tagged you 💕
3 published:
can't run away
“No, I have no intention to collect some reward for you, if one even exists,” you confirm.
“But why?” he asks. He’s fidgeting in his seat like he can’t sit still. It’s interesting to see when he was resting so peacefully without moving.
“Because,” Chirron interjects, clearly intent to take away any fun, “she prefers not to deal in things as meaningless as currency or credits.”
“How do you live?” he asks, genuine curiosity coloring his face.
“I’ve got enough credits to keep us going for years,” you answer vaguely.
“What else is there to work for?” the stranger wonders.
You turn your seat fully so it’s facing him and lean forward, dropping your voice a little. “So many things, sweetheart. Favors, information, gossip…secrets.”
His eyes go wide, like it’s something he’s never considered before. And he probably hasn’t. If he’s a Level 1, and you’d bet your ship that he is at this point, then this is so wildly out of normality for him. The Level 1s are pristine, like the celebrities of the galaxy living in luxury with someone to help keep them functioning at the highest levels. They’ll never see the types of jobs that Level 3s see, those jobs that nobody else wants to do. They’ll never work the way that Level 2s do, or have to work for humans in that way. Which isn’t to say their lives are perfect. It’s just not the kind of life where they see the dirty types of jobs that you and Chirron are used to.
“Why don’t you give me a name, sweetheart? Unless you prefer the pet name, which is fine by me,” you say.
He hesitates, before saying, “Vernon.”
some habits are hard to break
So, yeah, things with him are good, great even.
But…
And that’s the thing, isn’t it? As soon as there’s a but, it’s like you can’t see all of the good. It’s all just a placeholder before what may be the worst three-letter word in the English language. You wonder if it means there’s just something fundamentally wrong with you. Who looks for the “buts” of every situation? Why can’t you just appreciate all the truly wonderful things in your relationship?
Because you’ve had the one thing you’re missing. You know it exists and it’s hard to forget.
Your boyfriend is great, perfect, even, in almost every way that matters. It’s just, you’re not exactly…satisfied. And you know that you could guide him to be better for you in that way. He just seems a bit sensitive about it at times and you don’t want to make him feel less than since he never does that to you.
This is exactly why you’re staring at your phone. Paralyzed because you both want to send the text and know you really can’t. Your body remembers his, remembers the way the slightest touch sent your heart racing. You try to also remember every word he’s ever uttered to you, too, because he’s always been very clear about who he is.
It’s fucked up that you’re even considering it, beyond wrong that you typed those 5 words out in an empty conversation thread. (Even though you usually keep every conversation, you deleted this one after you got serious about your boyfriend. You say it’s to keep the temptation away, but really, how well is that working now?)
tell me how it got this way
Hoseok: hey, it’s been a while …
Hoseok: I hope you haven’t deleted my number
Hoseok: I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I was hoping we could meet up, you know, two old friends.
At that moment, your brain jolts your body back into action, and you’re mad, maybe unreasonably mad, but you’re seething. How dare he? After all this time? After everything that was said? How fucking dare he act like the reason you hadn’t spoken all these years had been something mutual rather than something that was entirely on him. No, you hated Jung Hoseok. Hate him more than anyone you’d ever known. Hate him more than the ex that cheated on you with some fucking yoga instructor. Hate him more than your ex, who had decided you weren’t “marriage” material, whatever the fuck that meant. This is different. It had struck you so deeply and changed the entire way you saw everything, the way you interacted with everyone.
When you and Namjoon started working together, he had commented that it felt like you were an entirely different person than whoever had written the pages in front of him. That person was vibrant and funny, and open. You seemed closed off, even cynical, despite being so young. You had shrugged it off, and he hadn’t pressed, likely because he appreciated the talent in the work he was reading. This was the reason, though. Jung Hoseok. It’s been 5 years of carefully putting it in a box and tucking it away. And they’re good boxes you used, very sturdy. It’s been such a long time since he crossed your mind that you thought you were over it all, all the pain, hurt, and betrayal.
You have to fight the urge to throw your phone across the room, knowing that the lecture you’d get when you tell Namjoon you need a new one isn’t worth it. You want to scream, but it’s nearly midnight, and you have neighbors that would likely hear. Not that you care, exactly, but the last thing you want to do is explain to them that someone you’d known years ago randomly popped back into your life like it was nothing and you can’t cope with it. So you keep running down the list of options for how to react to this and wish you knew how to handle something like a normal, well-adjusted adult. You can’t stop your brain from running down yet another list, about a mile a minute, of every possible reason why he’s reaching out now. Why is he thinking of you? What does he want? That’s the reality, after all this time, it isn’t just to catch up. He must want something and think he’ll be able to get it from you.
3 WIPs
unnamed sequel to: some habits are hard to break
“This seat still taken?”
You look up to find the man that Jungkook asked about moments earlier and that’s when it clicks. Yes, you do know him and you finally remember from where. The world certainly works in mysterious ways.
“No,” you answer with a smile.
“Do you mind?” he asks.
“Go ahead,” you offer and take in his features, for real this time. Without the haze of alcohol or fights or Jungkook clouding your vision.
“I’m not sure if you remember me, but…” he begins.
“We met at a bar and you took me home and just let me sleep it off, yeah it’s hazy but I remember,” you finish.
“I, uh, well I tried to text you when I realized you were gone,” he says, an embarrassed smile gracing his beautiful features. “I guess you must’ve given me the wrong number.”
“Oh, wow, I guess I don’t remember much,” you say. “Can I see your phone? Did you keep the number I gave anyway?”
“Yeah, here,” he says and hands over his phone.
You realize your mistake right away. “Well this is embarrassing.”
“Didn’t wanna run into me again?” he asks.
“No, no, that’s not it at all. At the very least I owe you a thanks for being a decent guy,” you say. “No, I tried to give you my real number, I just mixed up these last two numbers.”
“I’m glad I ran into you then,” he says as you fix the entry.
“Yeah, me too,” you say and find you mean it.
i dare you
“Why are you avoiding her anyway?” Seungcheol asks. He moves his fingers through the pieces looking for one and lets out a sigh when he finds what he’s looking for.
“I’m not,” Jeonghan answers shortly.
Seungcheol looks up for real at that, has that look on his face like he’s just so fucking done with everything. It’s a familiar look and Jeonghan hates it. “Be serious, Han. You’re ignoring her, which is fine, but only if you admit it’s because you’ve finally realized you’re in love with her.”
Jeonghan goes silent, feels like the air is sucked out of the room. His heart feels tight. Because this is something he’s been debating with himself for the last few days. (Last couple weeks, if he’s being honest. Okay, last couple months, but really, who’s counting?) And really, how stupid would that be? You’re friends, best friends, and he can’t mess that up. You’ve said yourself that he’s your favorite person, that’s all it is.
When Jeonghan doesn’t say anything, Seungcheol sighs, marks his page, and shuts the instruction book. Moves it to the side for good measure. “Look, Han, if…we don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready.”
Not if it wasn’t true, Jeonghan notes. There’s no mention of Seungcheol being wrong because he doesn’t think he is. Not that Jeonghan thinks he is either. “I don’t know, I guess it might be good to talk about?”
first impressions & second chances
“Did you hear that? Your friend says I’m pretty,” you gloat.
“He doesn’t need to hear it, he clearly already knows. He’s got eyes,” Minghao says with a shrug, like this is barely of any consequence.
“I will never let him live this down,” you declare, earning several laughs.
“Surely he must have told you that you’re beautiful before,” Seokmin wonders. “I assumed that’s really why he wasn’t bringing you around, because he doesn’t want to share.”
That makes you laugh, hard. Thankfully you have a friend next to you in Soonyoung, whose eyes are crinkling along with the laughter. “I don’t think he’s ever told her that she’s pretty in the entire time I’ve known them.”
“Well that’s just wrong,” Seokmin says.
“Is that so, Seok?” Joshua asks. You glare over at Joshua, not liking the way this has turned.
Seokmin, at least out of the corner of your eye, looks like he’s fumbling a little. Seems like he might be a little unsure of what to say.
“Oh, I see what you’re doing,” Soonyoung cuts in. “You’re trying to make us forget you let her call you Joshie because our best friend is gorgeous.”
“Our best friend?” Joshua asks.
Just like that, the attention is off of Seokmin, and honestly off of you as well, as they all bicker back and forth about who is best friends with whom. It’s honestly kind of fun and chaotic to be with the whole group like this. You even think that maybe you ought to do it a little more.
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Have you ever seen a fox in person?
yeah we have a few around our area, just saw one last week actually chasing a bunny across the front lawn
Would you say you have a quiet mind or do you have a lot of thoughts?
lot of thoughts nonstop
When did you last do something brave?
not sure
Have you ever seen a magician?
no
What’s something you remember from your childhood that you wish you could experience again?
spending all day outside in the summer playing with the kids in the development...manhunt, tag, riding bikes, swings...
Do you believe in karma? Why or why not?
yes because I’ve seen and experienced it personally
Do you have a tiktok account?
yeah
Do you prefer the scent or color of lavender?
both
Would you rather live in a castle or a cottage?
cottage for sure. castle would be way too big and fancy
What type of music do you listen to the least and why?
a lot of different types, I’ve never been picky with music
When did you last visit a library?
oh god probably back when I took one semester of college lol over 10 years ago
What’s one of your favorite memories from staying up late?
making forts with my cousin sleeping over and us being up late playing Pokemon on our Game Boys
Have or would you ever wear a necklace with someone’s initial on it?
yeah
What last made you laugh out loud?
funny posts on FB
Do you usually keep water by your bedside at night?
yeah I need to cause of my CVS to try and not get dehydrated...doesn’t work much, can’t ever keep it down when I’m sick
What’s an interesting fact about yourself?
I honestly don’t really think there’s anything particularly interesting about me...
What did you last heat up in a microwave?
popcorn two nights ago
Would you consider yourself lucky?
the opposite actually
What kind of pizza did you eat last?
regular cheese pizza
What kind of shampoo do you use?
it varies, usually something with volume that really lathers given how thick my hair is
How many blue objects are in the room you’re in?
oh lord god only knows this place is a pig sty
Would you rather visit an art museum or an aquarium?
aquarium
Do you prefer sweeter cereal over unsweetened?
sweeter
If you could build a 5 artist/band lineup to your dream music festival.. which ones would you choose?
Linkin Park (preferably with Chester, unfortunately never got the chance...), Three Days Grace, Disturbed, The Pretty Reckless, 3 Doors Down
artists: Avril Lavigne, Eminem, P!nk, Miley Cyrus, Blake Shelton
What’s a habit you have broken or are currently trying to break?
drinking...
Have you ever volunteered at an animal shelter?
no
Is there anything currently bothering you?
so much all at once it’s ridiculous
How many stuffed animals do you have on your bed?
one huge stuffed dinosaur my fiance got me lol
How much is too much to spend on a pair of shoes?
anything over $50 and even that’s expensive to me
What’s the strangest thing that you’ve ever seen someone collect?
I’ve seen quite a few interesting ones on episodes of Hoarders...and I mean actual collections, not the trash or expired food
Have you recently been to a concert?
JoJo in 2017
Who did you last have a phone conversation with?
mom
What’s the most dominant personality trait you have?
ha I’m not dominant at all...the closest I can think of is my stubbornness when you drag the Taurus outta me :P
Do you ever watch sports?
yeah, football mostly occasionally baseball and golf
What’s had the biggest impact on your day?
it’s only 8:33am but today’s my 31st birthday so...there’s that I guess so far
What’s your least favorite cheese?
oh lord I love cheeeeese! and this doesn’t really count as much I don’t think but definitely cottage cheese. I can’t stand the texture or taste, it’s a glob of disgusting!
What did you last have as a snack?
not really snack but still picking on dinner from last night which was Popeye’s
What’s your favorite decoration in your place of residence?
we don’t really have decorations
Would you rather read a book or watch a movie?
depends but probably movie, I need to get back into reading
What’s your plans for the upcoming week?
nothing except waiting for my replacement bank card in the mail so I have money again rather than using my fiance’s while he’s in NZ for work in the meantime to get by...especially since it’s only online so I can’t go anywhere since I don’t have it to swipe
When did you last feel rushed?
I haven’t had any reason to really
What was the last thing to scare you?
night terrors where I woke up screaming
Have you drank enough water today?
only been drinking sweet tea so far
What’s your top 3 favorite fruits?
banana, grapes, cantaloupe
What season do you think is the most comfortable?
spring, not too hot for my tendency to overheat due to illness and I’m not freezing my ass off either
What lie do you say the most?
“I’m fine” and “I’m not drinking”
What website do you frequent often besides Bzoink?
don’t even know what that site is...FB the most
Do you have anything due soon?
yeah fines, license renewal cause it expired today (happy bday... :/) and doc appts coming up
What did you last consume that you thought was nasty?
nothing I can think of...I eat what I normally do so nothing nasty or unfamiliar
What’s a song you feel describes your mood most right now?
Running Blind by Godsmack
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i wanna talk ab this bc i finally feel confident enough to even say anything at all on my weight but lemme go. in hs i felt the most beautiful i ever did at 135 lbs. i’m 5’3”, so that really was the perfect weight for a 17 year old as active as i was, on birth control, and considering everything else in my life. i wasn’t bony, i wasn’t by any means overweight, and i knew it! i’m very very glad i had that experience, too, because after i turned 18 i started dropping weight really quickly. i had sort of slowly tapered off my amount of exercise until it was solely how much i worked everyday and danced every night. by the time i was 19 i was completely underweight at ab 105 lbs. i looked really skinny and a lot of people commented on it. a lot of people also told me they wished they were me. a lot more people told me that. pretty much only my family worried about my weight loss and tried to help by maybe not the best means, but all my friends were envious. and i am absolutely not blaming them, that’s the point of this post actually. they just saw what models looked like and assumed that’s the peak. it’s really not. im not gonna lie, i looked really “good” that skinny! it was the “right” amount of hip bone and the “appropriate” amount of shoulder and collarbone sticking out. and i hate that now. i hate it so much that we convey this idea of skinny women as so “peak” that we subconsciously starve ourselves even when we look like this because it’s “kinda hot tho.” i’m 23 now and i’m back up to about 105 lbs. yea. back up. it did get worse, and this past july i was 97 lbs and looking healthier than i had previously. i don’t know exactly, bc i avoid scales at all cost anyway, but i can predict i got down to about 90 lbs. i was literally skin and bones. depressed. addicted to multiple substances. i wanna say to anyone who does see themselves in this post (if anyone sees this post) that it gets better and it keeps getting better. i’m 107 lbs usually, and if i’ve eaten and exercised for a good period i’ll get up to 112 lbs! sometimes i get down to 100 lbs if i forget to eat. i just didn’t get “hungry” for literally years unless it was to harmfully binge and then puke it all up, but now it’s moreso “why is my stomach growling tf is this empty feeling” and then drinking water and eating some chocolate until i can make myself something i enjoy and savor (which is a fantastic hack for anyone struggling with making/eating meals btw!!) but it feels weird to have to train myself to enjoy eating the way i did before. but i do now :) i indulge very mindfully by making tea and eating things like graham crackers with curd and different jellies. trader joe’s has amazing things you can just pop in and really enjoy. i love eating i love indulging i love gaining weight in my face and arms and the sides of my butt and my thighs and i even love that i kinda have cankles again!!! i love it all!!! i’m gaining weight in weird places and i feel really sexy and hot and soft and pretty and cute and womanly and filled out and full and whole!!! and i want every woman and man and person no matter how you present or identify yourself, but most importantly no matter your size, perceived or actual, all y’all, i want every single one of y’all to all know rn that you are capable of having this, perfectly deserving of it, and that it just genuinely takes a long time. you might not even notice it’s happening. i been on the up and up for a couple years now!!! and i’m only just noticing the progress those two years have been, despite the many times i felt like or truly had taken a few steps back. i have made progress, and i still am, and so are you!!! right now whether u realize it or not, every moment is progress. you see, your body simply can’t help it!!! on some cells at work type shit rn, your physical body is always trying it’s best to protect, heal, and defend YOU, and you don’t even have to think about that all the time :) so next time you think ab that cake, eat it. your body told you it wanted it for a reason. have some. savor it. you deserve it.
#tw#tw: food mention#tw: ed#tw: eating disorder#tw: anorexia#tw: bulimia#oh fuck wait are we supposed to tag them like that#i heard it is harmful bc people can just search them and self harm by mention#but if someone has it blacklisted i don’t wanna trigger them by having it not under those???#can someone help me with tags i don’t keep up with them enough bc i don’t ever make posts like this#so if anyone has advice on this and how i can edit it to make it the best version#i’d like that a lot#perhaps need it if i’m going to make any posts like this at all#also i need advice on how to make sure the history of the post is gone if i have to change the tags#so it’s not findable after i change them just in case#idk how the internet works#i just have anxiety#personal
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