#urgently need to talk to someone about this fucking band
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was going to go to bed early tonight but i then started a fucking ranking/review of every funeral for a friend song ever so that’s fun
#ffaf#funeral for a friend#in terms of fave album memory and humanity is really giving hours a run for its money#but then again…. conduit#but also haven’t listened to casually dressed all the way through in ages#urgently need to talk to someone about this fucking band
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Domestic Bliss
Homelander x pregnant f!reader
18+, pregnancy sex, lactation/nursing, mommy kink, fingering, dirty talk, cockwarming.
Summary: During one of several tedious business meetings, Homelander receives a text from you, his pregnant wife. You're in urgent need, and he's the only man thirsty enough for the job.
can be read standalone or as a follow-up to Truly, Madly, Deeply. originally written for an anonymous request. 🖤
Rarely does Homelander feel like more of a prop than he does on days like this, where his only job is to be a physical presence in round after round of shareholder meetings. He has little to add to these monotonous conversations about percentages and brand deals, but it’s important he be present nonetheless. He is the face of Vought.
Absently, he touches his ring finger. Beneath his glove, he can feel the firm band of his gold wedding ring. The corners of his mouth twitch, and for a moment, the nattering voices around him settle into a low din. Thinking of his marriage—of you—never fails to provide reprieve.
A faint buzz has him picking up his phone, glancing at the screen. Decorum be damned. The brigade of suits sitting around him, each pitching some inane promotional event, are boring him out of his skull.
You're the only person who has texting privileges on this phone, and he'd much rather see what you have to say than listen to one more word from the bozos around him.
Swollen. Sore.
Homelander bites his tongue, reading the simple message multiple times. He's sympathetic to your discomfort, truly, but those two small words ignite heat low in his gut. You're not even four months along, but thanks to a certain someone's fascination with your breasts, your body has been producing as if the baby has already been born. Inhaling slowly and silent, he texts back, Pump?
Hate that thing, you text back immediately. He can perfectly envision your soft pout. You do a better job. Come home?
The request hits him so viscerally he has to close his eyes for a moment, grip tightening on his phone. It hadn’t taken long into your pregnancy for you to suss out his little secret. What had shocked him was the effortless way you accepted him, and even encouraged him. Now here you are, pleading for it. You must be aching. His phone buzzes again.
I need you. Please?
"Fuck," he exhales softly, shifting in his seat. He licks his lips, tongue feeling dry and cotton-like in his mouth. Parched. When he looks back up, a few people are looking in his direction, but they quickly avert their gazes when he catches them.
Glancing back down, his fingers feeling stiff with restraint, he texts back clumsily, In a meeting, interview right after. Wait for me?
Can't, you text back, followed by an image.
Homelander grips his armrest, his lips parting. The picture you sent him—sheer wet fabric clinging to firm nipples—makes his stomach flip ten times over.
Fuck, you are swollen. Leaking all over yourself, soaking through that sexy little night slip. Hedrags a hand over his mouth, unable to ignore the sudden aching throb between his legs, and abruptly stands, chair screeching out behind him. Every head turns his way.
"Family emergency," he lies brusquely, and before anyone amongst the dozen or so bewildered faces can attempt to question him, he's marching towards the door.
To his credit, it's an emergency to him.
After the slowest elevator ride of his fucking life, Homelander fumbles open the door to his penthouse and makes a beeline for the bedroom, where he finds you reclined in bed, propped up on a variety of pillows.
You smile at him, your eyes glassy. The pregnancy has thrown your hormones all out of whack, and so the tears could be from any number of things.
Even so, you look radiant, your skin aglow, but it’s the warm relief in your eyes when you see him that truly makes this feel like heaven. He's dreamt his entire life that someone would look at him the way you do.
"You came," you sigh, reaching out for him.
He closes the distance in a handful of long strides, eagerly taking your hand into both of his, pressing a kiss to the top of it. "Couldn't leave my best girl in pain, could I?" He asks, swallowing dryly.
Fuck, the smell of you alone is enough to overwhelm him. His mouth is beginning to water.
"I’m sorry, I know you’re busy today," you say, lifting your hand to touch the side of his face, thumb stroking along his cheek. "I felt really alone, and I can't stand up, and these stupid things." You gesture helplessly to your chest.
Homelander slips his gloves off and drops them onto the night stand, kneeling on the bed.
“Sshhh, don't be sorry,” he dismisses, bringing your hand up to his cheek. Your touch, your voice, your words, every ounce of you is like a drug to him. He turns his face into your palm, kissing it reverently. “I was ready to blow my fucking brains out in that meeting.”
You laugh, the sound of it like music to his ears.
"This is your fault, you know," you tell him affectionately, watching him nuzzle into your palm like an overgrown cat.
"Pretty sure it's our fault," he says, moving his other hand to caress the barely-beginning swell of your belly through your night dress. "Takes two to dance the horizontal tango," he purrs, lifting his brows.
"Mm-mm," you disagree, grasping his wrist and gliding his hand up from your stomach to your chest. His gaze drops to follow the slide of his hand, his heart beating rapidly, like the wings of a bird. "This is your fault. The more I think about you, the heavier they get. It's all for you."
With your guidance, he cups your breast. His eyelids flicker heavily, wanting to sink into the feeling. It's warm and supple in his palm. No matter how many times this happens, he doubts he'll ever lose the awe it strikes in him.
That you would allow him this forbidden thing without judgment feels unreal, and despite your words, despite your endless encouragement, it always feels like he is stealing something that does not belong to him.
The way he says your name is gentle, strained. He wants so badly, he is immediately consumed by it.
Obligingly, you hook your fingers on the soft fabric of your night slip and drag it down until you feel the cool air on your damp skin, breasts exposed. He watches with rapt attention, subconsciously leaning forward. You stop him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Undress for me," you tell him, your own breath coming in shallow little bursts. Not only being commanded by you, but seeing you as affected as he is puts an urgency into his movements, has him yanking loose the chest piece of his suit with added fervency.
His belt hits the floor with a heavy thud. It's joined shortly by his boots, and then his pants. Once nude, he wastes no time moving back into the bed, kneeling between your legs. You open your arms to him. It's like being beckoned forth by a goddamn angel.
"Christ, you're beautiful," he murmurs, leaning over you. You thread your fingers into his hair once he's near enough, drawing him down into a kiss. He meets you readily, licking into your mouth, pent up hunger and arousal spilling into the way he kisses you. You keen softly into his mouth when he cups his hand to the side of your breast and thumbs your nipple in slow, coaxing circles.
"Darling," you gasp, arching into him. "Don't tease me. Please. I need... I need relief," you plead, giving his hair a desperate little tug.
He moans, the needy sweetness of your voice making his cock throb. He follows the direction you pull him until he's level with your chest. He swallows dryly, licking his lips. He's never been so thirsty in his life.
You smell faintly of soap and of the coconut oil you moisturize with. He feels almost dizzy with anticipation as he opens his mouth. He closes his eyes and finally seals his lips over your nipple, holding you still with both hands on your ribs.
The sound you make is a mix of relief and exquisite agony, an overstimulation that has you fisting his hair with one hand, cradling him close while you push at his shoulder with the other, like you can't decide if you want him to stop, or never let you go.
Meanwhile, Homelander barely notices. The second he has his lips on you, he's sucking slow and gentle, coaxing the flow with presses of his tongue. Milk rushes warm into his mouth, milder and sweeter than any he's tasted before. He moans softly into your skin, and sinks further down, mindful not to put too much weight on you, but eager to feel as much of you against him as possible.
The more he drinks, the more unambiguously pleased your noises become. Alongside the sweet tangy smell of your milk, he can smell the heat of your arousal deepening, hear the pulse of your cunt squeezing around nothing while he drinks his fill.
Knowing that this excites you like this affects him beyond words, turns him into something primal, where there is nothing but hunger.
Homelander takes mercy on you, slipping a hand down between your thighs. You shiver when he strokes two fingers along your pussy, where you're just as wet and warm.
"Yes," you moan eagerly, already subtly rocking your hips. "Mmm, god, please. Make me come, baby."
His eyes nearly roll back into his skull, but he keeps hold of himself and obliges you, slipping one finger into the velvet soft warmth of your cunt, followed shortly by another. Your body quivers around his fingers, slick and impossibly hot. His cock gives a needy throb, but he's too focused on you.
With a wet pop, he pulls off your nipple, licking his lips messily. Nowhere near satiated, he turns his attention to the opposite breast. He drags his tongue over the firm jut of it, reveling in the sensitized noises you make, and the way it makes your pussy quiver around his fingers. He crooks them inside you, dragging them in and out in a building pace he can feel you unraveling with.
Lifting his head, Homelander props himself up to watch you. This he knows he will never have enough of. Witnessing, smelling, tasting your pleasure on all levels, all of it belonging to him alone.
"That's it," he rasps, tipping his head back slightly, watching you through heavily lidded eyes. "That's it, sweetheart. Make you feel so good, don't I? Look at you, so goddamn perfect. Taste so fucking sweet. Eyes open, that's it. Look at me. Good, good... Look at me when you come."
You do, you hold his gaze even as your body locks up around his fingers, your lips falling open on a silent cry. He finger fucks you through every second of it, leaning down to suck at your neglected breast, wringing another shuddering moan from you as he drinks you in.
Your walls convulse deliciously, making him wish it was his cock buried deep inside you. He swears he can taste your orgasm in the flavor of you, endorphins flooding your system and making even richer what was already so fucking good.
He moans lewdly against your skin, his fingers gradually slowing as your orgasm fades. His own arousal is thunderous in his body, a dull ache that's since grown into a demanding pound. When you whisper breathlessly, "I want you inside me. I want your cock," he feels it like a punch to his gut.
Never one to disappoint, Homelander withdraws his fingers and lifts himself up to grip the base of his cock, stroking it once to spread your wetness on it, holding it steady as he lines himself up.
He teases you with just the head of his cock at first, watching as the fat head of it slides in and out of you. He groans low in his throat at the way your pussy feels so fucking eager to take him, the quivering heat of it practically pulling him inside.
You reach out and cradle his head, pulling him back to your chest. He complies, taking your breast right back into his mouth, the right side still plenty full for him.
"Mmm, ohhh, god... Feels so good. You feel so good. Gonna make mommy come again," you croon, stroking his hair.
Homelander keens at that, holding you by the hips. He ceases his teasing, sinking deeper into you with every thrust. He quickly adapts a steady pace, holding your legs hitched up around his waist.
Despite the fervor of his pleasure, he's never been more careful with you than he has since he made a mother of you. He can already feel the tethers holding him coming unbound, that mounting pressure at the base of his spine rapidly building in intensity.
"Mmm, just like that, baby," you gasp, arching your back, pushing against his mouth, riding the perfect angle his cock is drilling into you. Cradling his head with one hand, you reach down into the sparse space between your bodies and stroke deft circles over your clit.
He can feel how close you are in the quiver of your pussy. He thrusts faster, desperate to push you over the edge before he loses his own composure. He swirls his tongue over your nipple, sucking greedily at you, careful not to waste a drop. He's doing to give just as good as he gets.
"Fuck, fuck, I'm close, I'm—" You can't finish the thought, too overwhelmed by sensation, by the heat of his mouth and the pound of his cock.
Feeling your orgasm clamp down on him, Homelander loses it with a final thrust. He sees stars when he comes, releasing your breast with a loud moan, both of your bodies locking up against one another as he spills his load inside you, wave after wave of white hot heat filling you up until you can't take anymore, and it starts dripping out around his cock. Your orgasm squeezes him fucking tight, wrings him of every last drop of his release.
By the time the onslaught of pleasure ends, you're both shaking in the aftermath of it.
Homelander moves gingerly onto his side, pulling you in against him. He kisses you, needy for you even now, even if all you can manage in return is languid movements and tired little sighs.
Nothing is ever enough for him, and yet you never seem to run out of yourself to give. You settle into a mess of warm limbs, all those different scents and sensations melding into one singular experience between your entangled bodies. He doesn't pull out, reveling too much in the warmth of your body around his spent cock.
You fall asleep like that, nestled in the circle of his arms while he absently strokes a hand up and down your back, savoring the feel of you pressed against him. Even in your sleep, you cling to him.
This desperation that he has always felt, this bottomless void that no one seemed to have love enough for, finally satiated by the touch of someone who somehow needs it just as badly as he does.
Lover. Wife. Mother of his child.
Closing his eyes, he listens. Eventually, he is also lulled to sleep by the beat of not one heart, but two.
#homelander x reader#homelander x you#ask and you shall receive#darling anon#smut#lactation#mommy kink#my writing#pregnancy#dadlander
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NaceKris prompt since you like angst and hurt and comfort: Kris is losing his shit over being compared to his dad again and feeling like he's not good enough, and goes to Nace to vent (I can't wait to read this one this is also very much for my own pleasure)
Sorry this took so long, this drabble got entirely too long. I hope you like it!
That said before reading. I wasn't actively trying to write Kris as autistic, but I might have slipped up. The meltdown he has is definitely...indicatory of that so just heads up for that. In case it may trigger someone, maybe skip this one
Kris stared at the headline of a portal on his phone. He shouldn't click on it. He really, really shouldn't.
Is Gušti's son on a way to surpass his father's fame with his band?
It was a click-bait. Kris knew it was a click-bite. And he knew his day was already shitty so he though: Oh, why the fuck not at this point? He clicked on the article. The article went in depth about Miha Guštin's career, and compared it to Kris'. And in comparison, Kris did not look particularly great.
And then the article ended with saying that a more appropriate comparison would be perhaps between Gušti and Bojan.
Kris closed the article. He put his phone on the table, away from him, but the words haunted him. How could he ever compare?
His whole life he was always walking either in his father's shadow or Bojan's. And he felt like a wilted flower, tired of forever trying to get to the sun.
No. He didn't think that. Being in the center of attention could be even worse. He saw the toll it took on Bojan. How his father still couldn't go anywhere in public without being recognized or photographed.
He just felt so...useless. Plain, in comparison. Bojan used to joke when they were younger that every good main character needs a few interesting side characters. That's exacrly what Kris was. A side character.
There is also a question of if Gušti's son would have ended up on the musical scene at all without the influence of his father.
His breath came in short gasps. Kris closed his mouth and forced hinself to try and breathe through his nose. Breathe in for four seconds, gold for seven, exhale for eight. And again.
He grabbed his phone and dialed a number he wanted before he could think about it.
"Hi, Kris," Nace's deep voice greeted him from the other side.
"Can I come over?"
Nace paused, no doubt hearing his voice wavering. There was sizzling in the background and Kris realized that Nace was probably in the middle of making lunch.
He truly knew how to pick the time for a mental breakdown.
"Of course. But are you...okay? Do you want me to come to you?"
"No, no. It's fine. I'll...we can talk when I get there."
Kris could practically see Nace furrowing his brows. Worrying if Kris was truly well enough to walk to his place, like they didn't live ten minutes away from one another.
"It's fine, really. See you in a few."
He ended the call before Nace coukd say anything else. Even just hearing his voice calmed him down a bit.
The walk to Nace's apartment wasn't long, but to Kris' spiralling thoughts, it felt like ages. When he finally reached it and rang the doorbell, he felt overwhelming relief.
Loud barking came from the other side of the door. Kris heard Nace cursing as he tried to get around Ollie and unlock the door.
Kris did his best to put on a smile as the doors opened.
"Get in quickly, before he gets out," Nace said urgently.
Kris stepped through the door, shutting it behind him. Ollie immediately began jumping at him and demanding attention. He crouched down to pet him and let him lick his hands. He grit his teeth and counted to ten to not flinch from it.
"Right. Ollie, that's enough, let him breathe."
"It's okay. Really."
He was still crouching down, so he had to look up. Of course, that was the moment he noticed Nace was wearing a black tank top.
The bassist didn't wear sleeveless shirts often, but God we he did...fuck. Kris had to concentrate.
"I'm okay, I think. It was. I read an article I shouldn't have and I just..."
...wanted to see you. He swallowed. Thankfully, Nace seemed to understand. He offered Kris a hand to pull him up.
"Let's go to the living room first."
Saliva from Ollie licking his hands suddenly became very uncomfortable. Almost burning. And Nace was probably going to eat.
"I'll just go wash my hands first," Kris said, getting up without taking Nace's hand.
Ollie whined sadly at the lack of attention and Nace gave him a worried look right before Kris dashed to the bathroom.
He took a few deep breaths, avoiding looking at himself in the mirror. Then he thoroughly washed his hands with soap. He stopped when the skin started getting red. He didn't want Nace asking questions about that.
He found Nace setting up the table in the dinning room. He put down two plates. And on the left side, where Kris prefered to sit, there was a fork, a spoon and a knife he liked. His chest felt warm. He never explicitly told Nace this, but he noticed anyway.
"I wasn't sure if you ate already but I figured it won't hurt to put another plate for you."
"Thank you," Kris said quietly.
He sat down and only then did he dare to sneak a look at Nace, who sat at the opposite side of the table. Maybe it was the light. Or the fact that Kris felt shaky and Nace was always so solid and steady. Like Kris could lean on him and he would not crack under the weight Kris was carrying.
Whatever it was, it made tears suddenly run down his cheeks. Like the pressure caught up with him all at once and was now crushing his chest.
There was a sound of chair scrapping against the floor, and it seemed so loud at the moment Kris had to cover his ears. He was sobbing, he realized, almost distantly.
It felt like he was shifting in an out of his body. One moment he was so overwhelmed with all the sensations and in the other he felt completely numb. He knew he was crying but felt none of it.
Then the lights turned off and the radio that played in the background was silenced, too. All he could hear for the moment were his own sobs and heavy breathing.
"Kris?"
Nace's voice was soft and quiet. It didn't feel like someone scratching their nails over his ears. Kris slowly lowered his hands from his ears.
"Can I touch you?"
Kris considered it. He didn't think he could stand that yet, though. He shook his head.
"Okay. How about we go through the exercise we do with Bojan?"
Kris almost snapped that he wasn't having a panic attack. That this was different. That everything was just too much. But that would use up too much air. And Nace looked so worried. He nodded.
"Okay. Only focus on five things you can see, okay? You don't have to tell me which ones out loud, just count them."
He didn't have the strenght to roll his eyes. Instead, he counted. One, Nace. Two, red tablecoth with a horrendous Christmas pattern. Why did it have Christmas pattern? It was October.
"Don't get distracted," Nace gently reprimanded.
Right. Counting.
Three, the table. Four, the plate. Fifth...the fork.
He looked back at Nace and nodded once, indicating he was done.
"Alright. Four things you can touch?"
One, the hoodie he was wearing. Two, his jeans. Three, the chair he was sitting on. Four...
He reached out and carefully grasped Nace's shoulder. Well, a place between his shoulder and neck, so his hand was touching his shirt. It felt more bearable when it was him touching Nace and there was a layer if soft cotton between their skin.
"Three things you can hear."
Nace's voice. Faint buzzing of the refrigerator. Their heavy breathing.
He nodded again.
"Two things you can smell?"
Tomato soup on the table, steaming from the pot. Faint traces of Nace's cologone.
Another nod.
"One thing you can taste?"
Nothing. Just water he drank earlier. He supposed that counted, though. He nodded.
"Okay. Do you feel a bit better?"
He considered it. He felt exhausted but certainly less overwhelmed. And his hand on Nace's shoulder wasn't painful sensation, but just a neutral one. That was a good sign.
"Yes."
"Alright. Do you want to eat, or would you prefer to lie down on the couch for a bit?"
"Lie down."
This time, when Nace offered him his hand, Kris took it. It was warm and slight callused. Steady.
He took him to the living room and covered him with a blanket when Kris laid down. Turned off the lights.
"I will just go get my plate."
So that was how Kris ended up with his eyes closed, listening to Nace eating his soup. And really, it should have been an annoying sound but somehow...it wasn't.
Then Nace put his plate on the coffee table with a dull clank. Kris cracked his eyes open, just to see Nace looking at him.
"Can I get you water? Or juice? Or...something?"
"Water would be nice."
When Nace came back with a glass, he held it to Kris' lips instead of letting him take it. His cheeks warmed. He drank and tried not to think about how suggestive this looked like.
Nace quietly set the glass aside after he was done and sat back down. Silence streched.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Kris huffed. He supposed he should. He did just barge into Nace's apartment and had a meltdown. Potentially scarred his dog, since Ollie was nowhere to be found.
"I just had a really shitty day. My coffee maching broke, so I had to get a coffee to go from a cafe, which meant I was almost ten minutes late to the practice. And you know how that went, you were there. Jan managed to cut his finger on a string badly and there was blood and I couldn't find my first aid kit because Bojan put it in the wrong drawer-"
"Kris. Breathe."
He fidgeted with his sleeve and took few deep breaths. In and out. In and out. He rubbed his hands over his jeans, letting the texture ground him.
"Right. And then I came home and I was scrolling through Instagram and someone mentioned an article that talked about me and my dad. So I looked it up and it went on to essentially explain how I will never measure up to him and they are sort of right because. No I won't, our careers are different anyway, but then I realized how fucking useless-"
He stopped as Nace took his hands in his own. He gently rubbed over his knuckles and suddenly Kris was tongue-tied.
"Sorry. Should have asked before touching you."
"It's okay."
More than okay, now. It was comforting. He didn't always like touch and not from anyone, but he didn't mind it now.
"You are not your dad and you don't have to be. You are your own person, with your own way of doing things."
Kris opened his mouth, but Nace raised his hand to stop him.
"No-don't interrupt me. I know you know that, but you still try so hard to be perfect all the time. Jesus, Kris you sometimes hold yourself to such impossible standard, it pains me to watch."
Kris simply stared at him. No one ever put it that way. It was always just "You don't have to me like your dad". But never "You don't have to be perfect at all, even in a way specific to you".
"Oh."
Nace's expression softened. He gently pulled him into a hug, Kris' face perfectly fitting between his shiulder and neck. Few tears escaped him as Nace stroked his hair.
"You are good enough as you are. You don't have to try. And you don't have to compete all the time with Bojan, either. Life isn't a competition."
Kris chuckled, despite the tears.
"Kind of feels like it for me."
"Because you never let yourself relax and just...be yourself. Breathe. Relax. I promise you are safe."
Nace's words slowly sank in and to his surprise, he felt like he could finally relax. Let all the bitterness slip away for a moment.
He pulled Nace closer, so they somehow both ended up lying on the couch that was certainly not made for teo men their size. Still, they managed.
"Can you help me with that?"
"With what? Being yourself?"
Kris rolled his eyes and slightly pulled back so he could look at Nace. He reached his hand out and cupped his face. Stroked his thumb over his cheek. Finally allowing himself to do it.
Nace's breath hitched, but he didn't pull away. His eyes carefully considered him.
"No. To relax."
"I don't think your definition of relaxing is a good idea right now."
Kris huffed. Maybe it was the bone deep exhaustion that started to settle in, or the fact that he figured that surely, this day can't get much worse. Whatever it was, it made him lean in, pressing a quick kiss to Nace's lips.
Nace didn't kiss him back.
"I'm sorry-"
"I am not rejecting you. I just don't think this is a good idea while you are this upset."
That was...infuriatingly reasonable. Still, Kris felt embarrassed and slightly disappointed. It felt like a rejection.
Nace sighed.
"Kris. I promise we can talk about this later. For now...how about you get some rest? You look tired."
Kris bit his lip. He was tired. But he was also very comfortable with Nace next to him. He snuggled back into his neck.
"Only if you stay."
Nace kissed the side of his head.
"Always."
Not everything was okay, and however his talk with Nace later went, not everything will magically get solved. But maybe for now...Kris could relax. Just for a bit.
With that as his last thought, he drifted off into a dreamless sleep. Safe and sound.
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Flirting at the Mall 7
Chapter 7 out of 8
Steve and Eddie both work at Starcourt Mall, dancing around each other and flirting. When Steve finally manages to ask Eddie out, he gets kidnapped by Russians and misses their date. He shows up at Eddie’s house, drugged and beaten after Startcourt burned down to apologize and Eddie makes sure he’s okay, before they retry their date.
On AO3.
Ships: Steve x Eddie
Warnings: Injuries, panic attack and aftermath season 3
~~~~~~~~~~~
Knocking (Eddie POV)
He should have known. He should have fucking known. Of course king Steve didn’t actually wanna go out with Eddie the Freak. He was stupid to think otherwise.
It’s currently nearly 8:00 PM and Steve is still a no show. Eddie has been sitting there alone for an hour already. So much for looking at the fireworks together.
Fuck, he feels like an idiot.
Just two days ago he had been so excited, finally Steve had made his move. He asked him out. Him! But now that is all gone and his heart feels like it is trying to turn into himself. The whole point of waiting until Steve asked was to not unnecessarily get his hopes up. Yet here he is, alone in the forest and feeling totally crushed.
He’s only half surprised no hoard of jocks have shown up to laugh at him for believing Steve. Tsk, what a silver lining, his broken heart hasn’t been turned into the latest joke. Not a great comfort if he’s honest.
And he was so sure when Steve asked too. Checked it over religiously with his friends, looking for clues it might be a joke. But they had all agreed that it wasn’t. It wasn’t.
Apparently that was a wrong judgment though.
Eddie jumps off Skull Rock where he’d hidden away to conceal how he started crying when the half hour mark hit. And then he had waited 30 minutes more. Like a pathetic looser.
Now he’s walking back through the forest all alone, feeling cold all of a sudden. He’s glad he told Wayne he’d be okay alone and to pick up the extra shift that paid double, because it is a holiday. He doesn't want to talk to anyone right now. Tomorrow he’ll cry in Wayne’s chest, then rage with the band and curse the name Steve Harrington.
Sadness and anger are warring in his chest. He wants to punch something, he wants to cry, he wants to disappear, he wants to scream.
Most of all, he wants that Steve had shown up.
The dark, empty trailer is a reflection of his own mood as he morosely opens the door. He stumbles to his room and crawls in his bed, wrapping himself in his blanket as he cries with the sound of fireworks going off in the background.
He must've lain there for hours. The 4th has passed by and it’s already the 5th, but it's not like the party goers he can hear care.
Eddie wishes he could’ve fallen asleep, leave the horrid day behind him and have a few hours of oblivion, alas the world isn’t so kind.
He’s shaken out of his self pitying thoughts by a hard, quick knock at the door. Whoever it is, it sounds urgent. However, Eddie doesn’t care about how urgently someone feels the need to get a fix. Tonight is to wallow, he doesn’t want to see anyone else. So, he ignores it.
When it doesn’t let up, he grouches a bit and gets out of bed, harshly yelling: “Go away, business is closed tonight.”
“Eddie, please,” Steve’s voice calls back, shocking Eddie to his core with the surprise.
After surprise, relief washes over him that Steve is okay, which is immediately replaced by anger at what he did, mixed with the sadness that has been haunting him ever since 7:30 PM struck.
“Fuck off, you asshole,” he screams. “I waited an hour for you. If you wanted to come laugh at me, you should’ve been on time. The opportunity has passed now. You can leave.”
“Please, it wasn’t meant like that, just hear me out,” Steve calls back. He sounds a bit weird, high or drunk he thinks, but Eddie ignores it, the dick has probably been partying elsewhere before he showed up here.
“I told you to leave, Harrington,” Eddie grits out. “So go. It’s the least you can do.”
It’s quiet for a second and Eddie thinks Steve has left. He’s both relieved and hurt that it was that easy. Then Steve surprises him again, because he’s still there. “I know I messed up. I messed up, okay. So, please, let me say sorry.”
“You can say sorry like this,” Eddie informs him coldly.
“Sorry, Eds. I’m so, so sorry,” Steve replies softly and by the sound of it, he’s right there on the porch on the opposite side of the door from Eddie.
Eddie stays quiet. Steve sounds genuinely sorry, but Eddie isn’t falling for this again. Still, the sad tone Steve says it in, makes him feel a little better about himself. Albeit, just a little. Most of his chest still feels like a gaping hole.
When he stays quiet for a little Steve continues: “Fuck, I wanted to show up so bad. I had a whole plan. I was gonna bring you roses, even if you probably think that’s stupid. I wanted to be the first person that got you roses, so you’d always think of me when you saw them. I was gonna bring a blanket so we could lay on it. And I was going to ask Dustin to borrow his book about stars, so I could point out some constellations to you.”
As Steve talks, Eddie holds his breath. Steve sounds heartbroken. He sounds gutted. Much like Eddie is feeling right now.
And Eddie’s heart clenches, because he would have loved to get roses. No matter if roses are a fucking cliché. Would have loved to lay with Steve on a blanket. Loved to do all of that over how he’s feeling now.
Unable to help himself, he softly asks: “So why didn’t you?”
Steve lets out a humorless yet bitter laugh. “You probably won’t believe me without opening the door. Hell, I’d think I was crazy.”
He sounds so tired and Eddie’s heart breaks for an entirely different reason. Part of him feels like he’s walking into a trap again, but he can’t help himself. Steve holds a power over him unlike anything else. He has to see. He has always been too curious for his own good.
So, he pushes open the door.
Steve is leaning heavily against the frame. He looks unsteady, but Eddie is mostly focused on the left side of his face, which is entirely beaten in. It looks absolutely horrendous. Eddie lets out an involuntary gasp and asks: “What happened to you?”
“I would say you should see the other guy, but I didn’t get a hit in,” Steve tells him attempting a smile, but wincing before he can because it hurts so bad. His lip reopens and blood slides down his chin, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Maybe he can’t even feel it.
Without thinking, Eddie steps forwards, taking Steve’s hand gently and pulling him to the kitchen, flipping on the lights to see him better, though they make Steve flinch.
The harsh light does nothing to soften the injuries. In fact, Eddie can now see that his Scoops Ahoy uniform is covered in blood and puke and his eyes are unnaturally blown. His hair is also a mess and he’s shivering slightly, despite the summer heat. If Eddie’s honest, it looks more like he’s shaking with fear.
Eddie cups Steve’s face, so he can inspect the injuries better. Whoever is responsible for Steve looking like he should be in a hospital, was a professional with how methodically the bruises go all the way down, disappearing under the uniform.
Anger creeps into Eddie’s bones again, this time it’s not directed at Steve, who failed to show up, but at whoever hurt Steve and prevented him from showing up. When he speaks that feeling of rage is obvious in his tone. “Who did this to you?”
“A Russian,” Steve says. “Uhm, they- they had a base under Starcourt.”
“The mall?” Eddie frowns, Steve is not making much sense, which is worrying.
“Yeah, the mall. Fuck, the mall. It- It burned down, Eds. The government burned it down,” Steve says, chocking on his breaths as he starts to panic. “There- there was this giant creature. It was made out of flesh. It killed Billy. I- I saw it happen. It stabbed him. And the portal, it- it killed Hopper. Chief Hopper. He’s dead too.”
He sounds horrified, traumatized. And Eddie doesn’t know what to do as Steve starts to heave panicked breaths, as if he can’t get the air in properly.
A million thoughts are running through his head. He can’t believe how angry he was at Steve for not showing up. How hurt. Now all those feelings have been boomeranged by Steve just showing up out of nowhere, having been through hell. Watching Billy and Hopper die, apparently.
But he can’t focus on that right now when Steve isn’t breathing right. He still has Steve’s cheek cupped and uses that to get Steve’s eyes on him as he softly instructs: “Breathe for me, sweetheart, come on. In… yeah, like that. And out… doing great.”
Slowly Steve follows his breaths, calming down, though he’s still shaking under Eddie’s hand on his shoulder. When he finally finds his breath, he gasps: “S-Sorry, I’m here to apologize, not to be a burden.”
Eddie hates that Steve even thinks that he could be a burden for this, for crying after he just witnessed something terrible. Without thinking, he hugs the other boy close and whispers: “You are not a burden, Stevie. You’re not.”
Steve clings to him and Eddie can feel his shirt getting a little wet. He decides not to comment on it and hopes that if blood mixes with the tears, it won’t show up on the dark material if it stains.
However, he can’t let Steve stay there forever, no matter how much he would like to keep the other boy safe from the world outside, protected in his arms. Steve is hurt and Eddie at least want to make sure he’s as okay as he can be.
So, he reluctantly pulls away, trying not to give in under the heartbreaking whine Steve lets out at the action. To make up for it, he smooths a hand through Steve’s hair as he coos: “I know, sweetheart, I know. But I’ve got to patch you up a bit. Do we need to get you to a hospital?”
“No, they checked me over in the ambulance,” Steve assures him, leaning into the touch. “I’m fine.”
“I don’t know, Stevie,” Eddie says, inspecting him a bit more. “You don’t look very fine. What did the people in the ambulance say?”
Steve looks away, as if he doesn’t want to admit it. As if he’s embarrassed about needing things or feeling hurt after being beating half to death. Then he mumbles: “They told me to not aggravate my broken ribs, put ice on my eye and drink water to get the drugs out of my system. But that’s nothing. I only have a minor concussion too.”
Eddie is actually horrified, not just at the list of injuries, but how also how casual Steve is being about them, as if this is really no big deal. He wonders if it’s the drugs and decides not to make it a big deal until Steve has come down a bit.
“Well, I don’t have ice, but I have some frozen peas,” Eddie tells him, going over to the freezer and turning the bright lights off for the softer lighting under the cabinets, seeing Steve relax as he does so, before digging through the freezer and getting the peas and a towel to wrap them in, plucking a paper towel from the roll as he returns.
Once back with Steve, he gently presses the frozen peas to Steve’s eye, saying: “Here, hold these for me there, sailor.”
“Heh, sailor,” Steve giggles. “I like it when you call me that. Though, sweetheart is nice too.”
Eddie melts a little at the words. Steve is obviously out of it, the drugs still in his system working together with the chemicals released by his brain after the panic attack. But, he’s so cute that Eddie can forget about that and just fight the urge to squeeze him as tight as he can, all earlier anger forgotten.
Because Steve came here.
He is has been beaten, drugged and saw all sorts of terrible shit tonight, but even with all that he drove to Eddie’s house, just to say sorry for missing their date. He’s in Eddie’s kitchen, giggling at the silly pet names Eddie can’t keep contained. If that’s not a declaration of some sort, Eddie doesn’t know what is. So, yeah, not angry, just maybe a little in love with the guy swaying on his favorite kitchen chair.
“Luckily for you, I like calling you it, sailor,” Eddie replies, softly dabbing away the blood on Steve’s lip. “But how about we get you out of these and into something better suited for sleep, huh, sweetheart?”
“Trying to get me naked, Eds?” Steve leers jokingly, butchering the wink he’s attempting.
Eddie snorts and ruffles Steve’s hair (he has always wanted to do that and it’s so soft, just like he imagined, even with the blood, which he tries to ignore). He says: “Alright, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I’ll get into your pants when you’ve slept a little.”
Steve pouts, obviously displeased, but he gives in with: “I’m holding you to that. But I am tired now.”
“I’m sure you are,” Eddie agrees. He helps Steve to his feet, semi carrying the other boy to his room while being careful with his injuries.
He deposits the other boy on his bed, digging through his clothes to find something suitable, settling on a pair of black sweatpants and a Metallica shirt. With the items in hand, he returns to Steve, who is sitting on the bed, still holding the peas to his eye as he was told.
“Do you can think you can manage these yourself?” Eddie asks, holding up the clothes.
Steve squints at them, then bites his lip. Eddie can guess the answer is no, but as Steve had alluded to earlier, he doesn’t like admitting he’s too hurt to change his clothes. Deciding to let him have a little of his pride, Eddie says: “Hm, I don’t wanna risk it. Here, gimme those peas.”
Relieved Steve does as told, handing Eddie the peas, before letting Eddie manipulate his arms out of the sleeves of his uniform. The lack of shirt reveals just how low the bruises go. Eddie had already known with the broken ribs, but seeing the mottled bruises all the way down Steve’s side makes him a little sick. God, the pain he must have been in, he thinks. It makes him want to keep Steve safe and protected for the rest of time.
However, Steve is already uncomfortable with being so vulnerable, so Eddie doesn’t comment beyond an involuntary gasp when he first sees. Instead he helps Steve into the shirt, noticing how the wide sleeves on him, hug the muscles Steve has tightly.
The shorts are a different story. Steve is luckily dexterous enough to get the button and zipper himself, but Eddie refuses to let him bend over with that mess on his side. So, he eases the tight shorts down and can’t help but comment: “Gotta be honest, sailor. I imaged this happening under very different circumstances.”
He wants to punch himself the moment he says that, certain he has made Steve uncomfortable with the comment. Despite all the lead up, it’s a bit much and he doesn’t know if this with a boy will make it too real for Steve. But Steve surprises him by laughing: “Me too, honestly.”
After that Eddie gets the sweatpants on and makes Steve sit on the bed while he gets two glasses of water. He makes Steve drink both, before filling one again and setting it on the bedside table for Steve to drink if he gets thirsty during the night.
Then he helps Steve to the bathroom, which he can manage by himself, much to the relief of both of them. This is hardly stuff for people who haven’t even gone on a first date yet.
Eddie puts the peas back into the freezer while Steve pees, writing a note to Wayne that Steve is here after a rough night and to not freak out if he sees him in the morning.
With all that done, he helps Steve to bed. He has put the uniform in the washing, deciding that if he keeps it that’s no one’s business but his own (and Steve, if he ever manages to convince the other to wear it again). However, he must admit that Steve looks really good in his clothes too.
His plan was to tuck Steve in and take the couch, but Steve looks so breakable in that moment that it hurts to leave him alone.
Rationally, Eddie knows nothing will happen to Steve during the night, but he also thought that about the last few days and Steve had gotten himself kidnapped and tortured or some shit in those. So, he says: “Wanna share or should I take the couch?” not wanting to pressure Steve, despite his own wants.
“Stay,” Steve requests, sounding like he’s glad the option was given and he didn’t have to ask.
“Course, sweetheart,” Eddie smiles, pushing the hair out of Steve’s face as he climbs into the bed next to him and holds him as tightly as he can while being mindful of Steve’s ribs.
After everything, Steve is out in seconds, but Eddie lies there for what feels like hours, just watching Steve breathe as he tries to sort through his emotions. When he finally does fall asleep, he knows tomorrow morning will be interesting.
~~
A/N:
Ahhhhh this chapter hurt to write!!!!! But it’s also finally happening!!!!!
#rr writing#tw: panic attack#tw: injury#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington#steve harrington x eddie munson#eddie munson#st season 3#stranger things fic#stranger things#stranger things 3#scoops ahoy steve#scoops ahoy#Flirting at the Mall#Flirting at the Mall Chapter 7
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‘Damn just like 03’? Did Gerard punch Ray in the face before lol?
lmao not punch specifically, i'm just referring to how my chem was pretty violent on stage in the earlier days. ray and frank (who watched from the merch table) both said they knew there was something special about mcr from the very first show because of how kinetic and urgent it felt - frank was pysched that ray and gerard were kicking each other and ray said it was the first time he hadn't just stood still on stage because he literally couldn't help but headbang and thrash around (ch 3 of not the life it seems if you're interested!)
but they talk about it most at length in this old interview from june 2003 (cw for discussion of self-harm in the full interview):
Interviewer: Yeah, you guys challenge each other, right? How do you do that?
Gerard: Well, some nights it's physical violence, and some nights it's challenging each other to be better musicians. I think we're always trying to challenge each other to you give each other a look and you know that it just means step up your fucking game dude.
Frank: Me and him [Ray], where were we? In Portland I think. He came over and he kicked me and we just went at it.
Ray: Oh my god, that was that night.
Matt: It was just me and Mikey playing and Gerard singing. That was it.
Ray: He just ran to one side of the stage and put down his guitar, no! You had your guitar on and you fucking jumped on my back and smashed the guitar into my neck.
Matt: He had string marks of the back of his neck.
Frank: It's like, once you start playing it's all over, you're all a part of the show. Everything behind the songs just goes. You try not to hurt anyone but sometimes you can't help it.
Gerard: If people are up there, especially if it's someone with a camera we just tell them to watch out and be safe. We don't want anyone hurt. We don't want to hurt them.
Interviewer: And you don't want to hurt each other?
Frank: No, no, we don't want to hurt each other, we love each other. Things happen sometimes and it's what needs to be understood. And when it happens it happens pretty badass. Like he busted his lip and his nose one night. One night we had the merch guy of Noise Ratchet come up and play a song with us and he walked away with a chipped tooth. Basically a lot of people say we're a dangerous band because we go crazy on stage, but it's not that, it's that we feel what we do.
Gerard: And, you will never ever see Frank jump into a crowd guitar first, you will never see us take the audience for granted or try and hurt them in any way. When you're on stage though, it's open game, we can hurt each other, that's fine, it happens but we are not trying to by any means.
frank was the main offender lol, they talk about it a bit more in this interview. he was always jumping on the drum risers and kicking people and swinging his guitar into people (besides mikey). probably most infamously he cut ray's head open + broke his nose with his guitar headstock one time in columbus and ray finished the show like this lol:
they mostly calmed down once they started playing bigger venues outside the hardcore diy scene because they were concerned about audience safety
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“What the heart is full of, the mouth overflows. Stephen Dewaele of Soulwax is quick to talk anyway, but when it comes to DVDs, he shifts up a few gears. From 'The West Wing' to 'The Cremaster Cycle' to 'Triumph The Insult Comic Dog' – 'Sometimes I sitand watch and just think: What the fuck!'
I HAVE FOUR DVD PLAYERS: one in my laptop, one in my living room, one in my bedroom, and one in my bathroom. I wake up with it and I go to sleep with it – I usually watch it at night, after my daily news feed on BBC World, Nederland 3 and Canvas. I don't have much time, but I can easily get four or five DVDs a week. Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less – it all depends on exactly where I am, and how busy I am. Series at the moment: The Sopranos are a poison, because they are insanely addictive. 'One more and then I'll go to sleep…' 'Another one to unlearn…' And before I know it, it's seven hours later and I have to get up again. With The West WingI had that very bad, almost sickly. Incredibly fascinating to see how American politics works – and it seems to be fairly truthful too, because the screenwriter was an intern at the White House under Bill Clinton. Oh, and do you know Arrested Development ? You should absolutely check that! It's about a filthy rich family in America and the humor is somewhat reminiscent of Curb Your Enthusiasm – also an incredible recommendation, by the way.
NO IDEA HOW MANY DVDs I HAVE EXACTLY, but I'm estimating a thousand or so. According to my girlfriend I'm a freak in the making - luckily it's not as bad as with records, but during our last tour I still bought 50 DVDs. In most I now also know exactly where I need to be in major cities. I'm going to New York For example, always go to a shop that specializes in weird stuff that you can't find anywhere. There I buy things like The Cremaster Cycle by Matthew Barney or bootlegs by Kraftwerk. Tokyo is also a great city to buy DVDs because you'll find a lot of things there that they don't have the rights to in Europe yet. Gainsbourg movies à la Cannabis or Le Pacha – I even bought a double DVD of Claude François once. That really annoys me with DVDs: all that hassle with those region codes and such. Isn't that of this time anymore? The entertainment industry really treats people like idiots. "All buy DVDs in your own region well" My DVD players are all multi-region – cracked by an acquaintance. Am I hurting someone with that? Oh no? Fortunately, we will be rid of that in a few years, because then everyone will be able to download their films. That can't happen fast enough for me – unlimited supply, minimal fee, everything directly on a memory card.
ON TOUR I ALWAYS MAKE A SELECTION FOR THE OTHERS. The last thing I showed was Triumph The Insult Comic Dog – a Late Night hand puppet with Conan O'Brien, extremely crude but implausibly funny. And everyone was also deeply impressed by Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and Comandante, Oliver Stone's documentary about Fidel Castro. I don't put porn in such a selection, no, we have our own specialist on tour for that. But I usually find it incredibly boring – during Sexecutioners, a film we recently bought at the Reperbahn, I fell asleep during the first blowjob. (laughs) What I can recommend to everyone is the Criterion label. They release old movies on double DVDs with an incredible amount of extras – recently I bought The Man Who Fell To Earth with David Bowie. I buy almost everything from Criterion blindly, and some things I really wait for. For example, they urgently need to release a performance by Nicolas Roeg: Mick Jagger has a part and Ry Cooder wrote the soundtrack – I wrote my thesis about it at school at the time.
IF I HAVE ONE GUILTY PLEASURE, it's: DVDs from bad eighties bands, Tears For Fears and all that. A few months ago Tiga gave me Silver Blue Lining, a documentary about Duran Duran's heydays. The ego of those guys, who think they're on top of the world: fe-no-me-nal, ten times funnier than Some Kind Of Monster by Metallica. You're looking at that, and you're like, 'What the fuck? That simply does not exist!” – but it all really happens. Anyway, I watch a lot of music DVDs, even good ones. Recently: No Direction Home by Martin Scorsese, about Bob Dylan, and It's All Gone, Pete Tong, a kind of Spinal Tap about corporate DJs. Less interesting for people who have never been to Ibiza, perhaps, but very recognizable. I also find The Directors Series very impressive, with those DVDs from video clip directors. The first I had three volumes for a while – Spike Jonze, Michel Gondry and Chris Cunningham – and recently bought the collected clips of Anton Corbijn and Mark Romanek. What He Did To Hurtby Johnny Cash! That's no longer a clip, that's just… art. We ourselves have been brooding on a DVD for a while, I urgently need to discuss this with the record company. We have tons of footage just begging to be released – you'll be hearing from [rest of article cannot be accessed].”
- Focus Knack, 15/11/2005 (Translated with google translate).
#soulwax#2manydjs#stephen dewaele#steph dewaele#long post#interviews#and then they made a movie#i love how steph had a hacked dvd player in 2005 because of course he did#but a dvd player in the bathroom?? what's up with that lmao
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↬ Touch Me
↬ pairings: f!reader x Jake Sim
↬ warnings: smut, fingering, oral f!receiving, dirty talk, a crumb of voice kink
↬ summary: reader has never had a proper orgasm and her best friend is wanting to change that
↬ WC | 1.2K |
You’re not sure how you ended up like this. On your back hips pressed into the bed by your best friend's large hands, and two of his fingers touching the most intimate part of your body.
Maybe it was the three bottles of wine you both had drank, or maybe it had all started when you both started talking about sex.
“What!?” his eyebrows were pinched together, his lip pulled between his teeth as he was processing what had just boldly come out of your mouth. You tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear as your face flushed.
“I’ve never had an orgasm.” You paused of course you’ve had one with yourself, but they were only surface ones. You barely even made noise when you touched yourself, “I mean like with someone else. I’ve made myself cum before.”
Jake stares at you incredulously, “I mean but that’s not the same, as having someone else make you cum.” He looks you over, and you suddenly feel too exposed in your tank top, and cartoon germ shorts. “I mean i’ve come close, you remember Dylan from last week?”
He nods, “He was really good but he was starting to get frustrated with how long it was taking me,” You paused biting down on your bottom lip as you messed with the bottom of your tank top. “So I faked it.”
He scoffs, “that is absolutely ridiculous.” He states his eyebrows still pinched in a frown.
He thinks to himself for a second before gesturing to the bed, “lay down.” Your eyebrows shoot up as you look at him, “What? Why?” he rolls his eyes scooting closer to you, “I’m gonna make you cum.” Blood immediately rushes to your cheeks, “If that's okay with you.”
His eyes are lidded as he looks at you, and desire swirls in the pit of your stomach as you realise how close he’s gotten. You nod, and he takes your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger. “I need words, love. Do you want me to make you cum?”
“Yes please jake.” he smirks and lays you down, “You’re already being so good. Using your manners and everything.” You shiver at the octave his voice has dropped to, and he mentally takes a note of the way your nipples harden under your shirt.
He leans down over you, his lips ghosting up your neck and to your jaw where he leaves a kiss. Then his lips are dragging up your cheek, and his warm eyes are darkened with lust as he stares into yours, “can I kiss you?” you nod and he presses his lips against yours.
Its slow at first, soft and almost loving, but then he’s ghosting his hand over the band of your shorts, and it becomes more urgent. His tongue slides against the bottom of yours and you open your mouth for him. He tastes like strawberries, and you whine into his mouth as he slips his hand into your shorts and slides a finger over your underwear.
He’s disconnecting from the kiss too soon, but he hushes you as he pushes up your tank top. You had forgone a bra at the start of the night, so the minute he pulls it up over your chest he gets an eyeful of your tits. “Fuck, you’re so pretty.” He licks up from your sternum, before moving over to your right nipple, and wrapping his lips around it. He sucks as he licks over it and your back arches up off the bed.
“Jake!” You whine, your hand coming to tangle in his hair, before he moves to the left one and repeats the process.
Your breathing is labored as he moves down your body. Kissing his way down your abdomen, until he gets to your shorts. He pulls them down teasingly slow. Trying to work you up, and it’s starting to work because you’re getting more and more impatient as he drags it out.
“Hurry up!” you huff, and his eyes snap up from looking at your lacy blue panties. “Has someone forgotten their manners already?” he raises an eyebrow at you. Challenging you, and you whimper, “No no! I’m sorry! Just need you so bad!” He hums approvingly as he moves his mouth to the side of your hip. His teeth grab onto the band of your panties, and he moves down to remove them while maintaining eye contact with.
You feel a whole other wave of arousal wash through you as he finishes. Your legs remained closed. Suddenly feeling exposed. More exposed than he is, considering he’s still fully dressed.
“Open Your legs for me baby.. Let me see how worked up I've got you,” You huff and cover your face, as you slowly open your legs for him. As you open them you feel your wetness drip down onto your sheets. Your hole clenches around nothing as he spreads open your pussy.
“Holy shit, you’re so fucking wet princess.” you push your hips up as he lets out a groan. “Is it for me?” you nod a needy gnawing hunger starts eating its way at your body, and you almost whine at the way he blows cool air onto your sopping cunt.
“Please don’t tease me anymore jakey.” He hums smiling at you, “ How I could not listen when you asked me so sweetly.”
He drags a finger down your pussy, his eyes watch you for a reaction as he slides his middle finger into you. He drags it out and he groans, “feels like your cunt is trying to suck my finger back in.” your hips rise off the bed ad he presses you back down with his other hand.
“Im gonna add another finger okay?” You whine in response as he pushes his ring finger in next to his middle finger. He stares down at where is two nimble fingers stretch open your cunt. He picks up the pace, twisting and curling up his fingers as he continues.
The sound of his palm hitting your clit everytime he fucks his fingers into you echoes around the room. “You’re being so good for me.” he hums as he brings his thumb to circle your clit.
Your dripping down his hand as he brings his body down over yours, “You clench so hard everytime I say something.”and sure enough your gummy walls clench around his fingers, and he smirks. “You like when i talk to you baby? Is that why its so hard for my baby to cum? None of these boys talk to you while they’re fucking you?” his fingers curl up and hit a specific spot and you let out a borderline pornographic moan.
“Fuck is that your special spot?” He prods at it again, and your body twists, “Fuck jake pleaseee! Need something more! Need your cock!” he shakes his head as he fucks you faster with his fingers.
“Maybe next time baby! This is about you. Want you to cum on my fingers.” You whine trying to lift your hips up again, and he pushes your hips down harder. His eyes snap up to yours and he pulls his fingers out and a wet smack sound fills the room as he slaps your clit.
Your body convulses as the knot that had formed in your stomach snaps. You squirt all over his hand and he watches you in awe, “Fuck princess that was so hot.”
You whine in embarrassment, your eyes shut tight. He kisses your cheek as your still coming down from your sudden orgasm.
“Next time i’ll make you cum on my cock pretty girl.”
#jake shim#jake sim#enhypen#enhyphen#jake sim smut#enha#enha smut#enhypen smut#enhypen jake#enhypen jake smut#jake smut#sim jaeyun#sim jake#sim jaeyun smut#sim jaeyoon
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open up
3.3k words of marriage talk with harry. a ring, some fingers, a kitchen table. rated M.
an: hi. so. this is for cass’s @majorharry 20k fic célébration, congrats you absolute legend ! i initially wrote something else back in july (lol) but never found myself happy with it so here we are with something much shorter, a lot better, and way sexier. i used a bunch of prompts (thank u cass) to bring something living in my head rent free for WEEKS to life 😳 anyway ! enjoy, as always happy reading and please do let me know what you think !💞
***
“I didn’t think I’d been seeing you until later.”
You glanced over to the kitchen sink to let your eyes skim over Harry’s hunched figure, where he stood thoroughly scrubbing his hands clean.
“Why, not happy to see me?” He teased from where he was across the kitchen, reaching for a hand towel to dry off. “Rather your time alone?”
Only shaking your head, you bit away a smile as your eyes remained stuck on the computer screen in front of you. You had been moving around the temporary house all day, unable to settle on one single spot to work from. For now, the kitchen table was where you sat with your things spread around.
You could see your boyfriend walking towards you from your peripheral, choosing not to glance at him and rather re read the same words splashed across your screen for the eighth time.
He was quick to find his place behind you, leaning over the wooden chair while his arms wrapped around either side of you in pursuit for attention.
“We wrapped up early,” you could practically feel Harry’s hum when he spoke, even with the back of the chair between you.
His cleaned hands slid down your arms until he was hugging you from behind, his palms resting over the backs of your hands.
“How was your day?” His lips rested over your hair, voice quiet and muffled.
You felt him press a kiss to the top of your head, before moving down to rest his chin in the curve of your shoulder.
You leaned into him slightly. “Okay –” your work could be only be partially done remotely, meaning you did your best to make due with what you could.
“Went for a walk and got some groceries. What do you think about risotto for dinner?”
“Sounds delicious,” he smiled against your neck, stealing one more kiss over the skin before leaning back. The words across your laptop screen were not urgently demanding your attention, and you took a moment to revel in the touch of you boyfriend.
He began moving his hands away from yours, the feeling of them bare and ringless something that you had recently gotten used to. You caught his left hand in yours before he could pull away. “What’s this?”
You brushed your thumb over the single ring gracing the hand, the smooth band that circled around his ring finger.
“Fuck,” Harry chuckled lightly, watching as you circled the metal around his finger. “Must’ve forgotten to take it off before leaving.”
You absentmindedly admired his hand. “How was shooting?”
“Really good – don’t want to spoil too much for you.”
Barely registering his answer, you kept your hand over his, leaning back on the chair and into Harry as you admired the wedding ring.
“Are you done your work for the day?” His voice was low, not having moved away from your shoulder, and his lips hovered over your skin with only slight brushes as they moved. Still standing behind you, he was slightly amused by your fascination with the ring.
With a newfound sense of possessiveness over him, you turned yourself around, momentarily letting go of his hand so that you could move off the chair to stand. The seat out of the way as you now faced him, Harry didn’t move an inch as you remained trapped between him and the table, leaning your backside against the edge of the wooden surface.
You paused before answering. “I could be.”
His lips teased a smirk, hands retreated from your skin and instead planted on his hips. When he didn’t say anything else, you cleared your throat once more.
“How is married life treating you?” You titled your head slightly, grabbing his hand in yours again as he leant in closer at your touch.
He smiled. “Your hands are soft.” He spoke lowly, eyes momentarily falling to watch the way your fingertips danced over his skin. “You don’t like seeing me married off, is that it?”
“Not particularly,” you hummed. catching his eyes with yours.
You raised both your hands together in a smooth motion, gently folding his fingers down as he kept his eyes glued to every move you made. Glancing up at him as you kept your eyes locked, bottom lip falling when you opened your mouth to slide his ring finger into your mouth.
Not missing the way his tongue darted out to wet his lips before slipping them between his teeth, as you pushed his finger into your mouth until the wedding band hit your teeth.
Your tongue licked over the skin first, before you caught the band between your teeth and tugged it over his finger. “What’re you doing, darling?”
His tone was low, watching as you shifted closer to him from where you stood. Pulling his finger from between your lips, ring caught between your teeth. Once his hand fell from your cheek, you remained silent as you plucked the newly wet ring to hold it in your palm.
“Better,” you breathed quietly, your palm extended in the small gap between the two of you. You found yourself narrowing your eyes at him as he never looked away, as if each challenging the other to see who would break first.
Just as you suspected, he was the one to give, as he quickly grabbed at your hips with one hand and nudged your jaw with the other.
“Don’t like the look of the wedding band?” He sounded slightly breathless.
“Not when it’s someone else’s.”
He challenged you with raised brows. “What if it was ours?”
It wasn’t a foreign topic. The conversation of marriage, or spending your lives together was one that had been floated between you before. It was always an agreement of a when rather than an if – something brought up both in confessions of love and in the midst of arguments.
“Mm,” you raised the ring up to observe it once more. “That would be a different story.”
“Humour me.”
He held your chin between his thumb and index, brushing the fingers along your skin and giving you no choice but to hold his gaze.
Your lips rolled in against your teeth, biting them together before answering. “If you don’t know by now maybe we shouldn’t be having this conversation.”
His smile grew, and small shake of his shoulders when he laughed. “You know that I know,” he muttered, leaning in towards you so that he could brush his lips over your temple. “I just like hearing it.”
A little breath of a laugh escaped past your lips, as Harry moved his lips down to hover near yours. He tried to pull your mouth in with his, but you titled your head over just as he landed a kiss to the corner of your mouth.
“Still haven’t kissed you,” his nose nudged your cheek. “Let me give you a kiss.”
Your placed one of your hands over his shoulder, pushing him back just enough that you could see his eyes. “I can’t kiss someone else’s husband.”
“Darling,” he drew out the word, leaning back in towards you with a gentle kiss placed over your cupids bow. “Let up –”
“I’m serious,” completely opposing to your words, your hand slid around his neck to keep him close.
Harry let out a sigh with a glint in his eyes, hand leaving your hip and slid up to where the highly scrutinized ring sat in your palm. Quickly grabbing hold of it, he glanced at it before meeting your eyes again.
“What if we gave it a try then?” He hummed, leaning back in towards you and pressed a few kisses along the line of your jaw before his lips brushed against your ear. “See how it feels?”
You hummed into the air, letting your head tilt back on your neck when his lips pushed over the sensitive skin under your jaw. “What do you mean?”
His teeth grazed over you before muttering into your skin. “Want you around my fingers – let’s see how I could make you come if you we were married.”
You clenched around nothing at his words. Head tilting back down, your lips caught his with quick brush before you spoke. “Wouldn’t I have to be wearing a ring as well?”
Harry nodded with a slight chuckle, slipping the ring back onto his finger. “I’m working on that.”
You let his words hover between you for barely a second, before giving in and planting your lips over his. He instantly took to your mouth, hand sliding around your jaw and to the back of your neck while his hips pushed you further against the table.
Mouths parting for only a brief moment as he angled your jaw towards his, other hand splaying out over your hip and fiddled with the band of your jeans. Fingers hooking into the belt loops, he tugged your hips into his with a small grunt building from the back of his throat. Mouths meeting in a kiss once again, your tongue easily met his as lips hastily fell open.
You were both greedy and desperate, your hands gripping tightly at his shoulders as he kept you trapped between his body and the table. His own hand moved from your neck and down your back, pulling at the loose fabric of your shirt until your bare skin met his.
He was moving fast, trailing fingers over your bare stomach before finding the little button that kept your jeans together. His mouth broke from yours and instead landed down your jaw and to your neck, this time showing no hesitation when his teeth grazed along your skin. A quiet moan escaped past your lips, his name laced with the sound as your need for him grew.
Clearly as eager as you were, he worked fast to pop the button of your pants and tug the zipper down. He was pulling down the loose denim with both hands until the dropped down by your ankles. You managed to kick them off, not having a care about where they ended up.
He moved his lips away from where they were at your shoulder, letting his head hang with his forehead pressed to yours and heavy inhales to catch his breath. One of his arms was wrapped around the small your back, holding you close while his left hand dropped lower to feel over the skin of your thighs.
Your gaze met his, blown pupils and reddened cheeks as small breaths left his swollen lips. You loved seeing him like this, focused and excited to get you off.
He dropped his head down lower, lips kissing over your shirt until he found your pert nipple underneath the fabric. He had loved how rarely you seemed to where a bra during confinement, and when you did it was usually just a thin flimsy material that could easily be pushed aside.
Wetting through the shirt with his tongue, his lips circled around your nipple as his teeth gave it a slight tug that had you whining for him to get on with it. He hummed against you, clearly pleased with the way you were craving to feel him. He moved away after a moment, both his hands now circling around your thighs as he massaged the sensitive skin. Left hand pushing between your legs as he wordlessly prompted you to part them for him. His lips were grazing back up from your chest, dotting your skin with quick kisses.
“Missed you more than usual today,” he whispered over you, raising his head with his mouth brushing yours. “Couldn’t stop thinking of you when they gave me the ring to wear.”
His hand was trailing random patterns over the skin of your thighs, light tickles that made your legs jolt slightly both at the feeling and at the growing anticipation. One of his palms slid back between your bum and the table, giving the soft skin a tight squeeze. Gripping over the thin fabric that still covered you, he moved his hand around your ass to cup your cunt from behind.
One of your hands was tugging at his hair, pushing through the gelled curls, no doubt pulling them up in every which way. “Do something…”
“Oh, now you want me?” His touch was light as he felt over you, roaming hand left you far too soon, and bypassed where you wanted to feel it most. Instead it toyed with the band of your underwear, as he pulled and snapped it back against your skin. “Help me get you out of these.”
With a lift to your hips you helped him pull the tight material off, the long-forgotten garment soon falling to your ankles. You parted your thighs for him once again, cool air over your wet centre soon replaced by his hand cupping over you. Two fingers pushed through your inner lips, moving up with a light brush over your clit before he pulled away.
“Soaked,” you could hear the smile in his voice, as you titled you head to catch his eyes. He raised his hand, bringing his fingers to your mouth. Tapping your bottom lip with the ring finger once more, waiting for you to part you mouth open for him.
“Open up.”
Eagerly doing as he said, his finger was back in your mouth once more. This time you didn’t catch the ring between your teeth, feeling it rest against your lips as you tongue circled around the digit.
He quickly withdrew his hand, sliding it over the sensitive skin of your inner thigh before the same wet finger pushed over your slit. Small whine built from the back of your throat at the motion, urging him to properly get you off with his hand.
“Please,” you whimpered into the air, feeling Harry’s mouth ghost your neck when your head fell back over your shoulders.
“Want to feel me fucking you as a married man, that’s what you want?”
His words sent a new wave of heat throughout your body, fingers griping onto him tighter as you waited for him to finally let up with his teasing.
“Yes – yes,” you were quickly cut off when he gave you want you wanted, ring finger pushing into you in a quick move. You clenched around him, sure that you would be able to feel the coolness of the metal ring if it hadn’t just been in your warm mouth.
His thumb nudged your clit, easily causing a moan to tumble from your lips. Starting with slow, drawn out circles over the sensitive bit of nerves, pulling your jaw back to him with his other hand. His chin hit yours, searching for your mouth as you easily complied and let him kiss you. Tongue eased in your mouth, no doubt feeling the small slack in your jaw when he pressed over your clit once more and you quietly whimpered against him. He was kissing you as slow as he was teasing you, edging you to beg for him.
“How does it feel?” He muttered against your mouth, slow pumps of his finger inside of you. He curled the single finger, hitting deliciously against the spot that had you bucking your hips up for more.
“The ring – how does it feel?”
He pumped his finger at an increasing speed, urging you to feel every hit of his skin on yours. Thumb over your clit was pressing tightly against you, sending small waves of pleasure up your spine and through your stomach as you held him close.
“Like I wanna marry you,” you whimpered against his collarbone, tugging at the shorter hair that stuck out above his neck.
Clearly satisfied with your answer, he slid in another finger. You could hear how wet you were by how quickly he was pushing his fingers into you, wanting nothing more than to have you come undone around him.
He knew every move to make to get you towards your orgasm. His mouth found your neck once more, hot and wet kisses graced over your skin and he moaned against you. Your own head was tilted back, unashamedly panting into the air as you spent all the energy you had focusing on his every touch. When you clenched around him, if you focused you could feel the simple wedding band that graced his ring finger just at your entrance when he moved it in and out.
Curling up in inside you, he had you repeatedly moaning his name as a beg to cum. His touch over your clit was light, no doubt wanting to milk out your desire for him as long as he could.
Your boyfriend’s mouth had moved away from your neck, instead choosing to keep his face hovering near yours to watch as you got pushed further and further towards climax. “Look so fucking good,” he muttered lowly, pressing a kiss over your parted mouth and swallowed your groans.
“Love seeing you like this,” the edge of his teeth caught your skin. “All mine, yeah?”
You weakly nodded, feeling the tight coil in your lower stomach grow nearly unbearably. “All yours.”
“Love how you feel around me,” he groaned, lips seeking your once more.
You titled your head back over your shoulders once more, letting out a low moan from deep in your throat when he started his work over your clit once more. “Do you love me?”
Your words were weak, quiet as you cleared your throat to repeat them. “Do you love me?”
“So fucking much,” he said immediately, chasing your mouth. “You have no idea.”
Hot coil in the pit of your stomach seemed to double in pressure as he kissed the words over your mouth, repeating over and over how much he loved you.
You were being edged closer and closer, his thumb over your clit swiftly rubbing wet circles over it as his fingers never let up.
Your head fell to the crook of his neck, forehead against his shoulder as you bit your lips tight together. “Wanna cum,” you moaned quietly, the words nearly not heard by Harry.
“Look at me,” he grunted, fingers of his free hand moving to your jaw as he cupped your face. “Love seeing you – y’look so pretty when you cum.”
That little encouragement was all you needed, and after whines of how good he was making you feel escaped your mouth at an increasing speed before you let your orgasm take over your body. You couldn’t help shutting your eyes tight, feeling his mouth over yours as you moaned his name over and over. Clenching tightly around his fingers, their unrelenting moving inside of you not stopping.
Your legs were losing their strength, you had to support yourself on the table behind you. Your hands were still tight around Harry’s shoulders, holding onto him as hot breaths were sound throughout the air. Your walls were fluttering around him, as you whined softly when you grew sensitive. Jolting lightly when his thumb pressed over your clit again, he slowly eased his fingers out of you and letting out a shaky breath.
Just as you had before, he pushed his fingers that had been wettened by your arousal into his mouth, tasting you with an appreciative hum just as he always did.
The same hand after slipping out of his mouth, wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you in for a lazy kiss.
He caught your hand in his, still pressing closely against you. His thumb brushed over your bare ring finger, just as you had done with his ring covered one.
“Not fair that you’re the only one who gets to wear a ring,” you hummed with a soft voice, brushing your other hand under his shirt and over his chest.
“I told you,” Harry smiled. “I’m working on it.”
#okay bye <3#happy reading and whatnot 😳#majorharry20k#harry styles writing#harry styles smut#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles imagine
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just listen, trust me.
synopsis: a misunderstanding drives jaemin away from the only person that he should've trusted. when reality slaps him in the face he feels miserable and tries to win his love back. or something of the sort lol
characters: Jaemin, Main Character, Jeno, and a bit of Haechan, Renjun, Chenle, Mark and Jisung.
pairing: boyfriend!jaemin x f.maincharacter
genre: angst angst angst and fluff
word count: 7k (fucking hell it's THAT long?) sorry lmao
warnings: none
author’s note: this took way too long to finish jfvamejgf but i really couldn't come up with a good enough ending. or more like i couldn't write down what i wanted to write lol but i finally finished it heheh
i hope you like it and it satisfies the wait i made you go through lol 💛💛
the many things people told him echoed in his head. the dimmed lights of his studio room and the slow, low beat of the music not doing much to brighten up his mood.
she's being too friendly with that one friend of yours, don't you think?
he's warming up too much to her.
watch out, you wouldn't want someone to whisk her away from you, she is a bit naive, she could be affected too easily.
and it would all have fallen to deaf ears, because he was never one to let anyone talk about his personal life, only if one of his closest friends hadn't said something.
"jaem," jeno's voice made jaemin turn to his friend. jeno looked around to their other friends before figuring out they wouldn't let what he was going to say out of the circle.
"yeah," jaemin smiled at jeno, remnants of his laugher from what renjun was saying. jeno cleared his throat still unsure how to approach the topic.
as soon as the news reached his ears he had searched for his friend. he was unsure of the news but he figured jaemin could always ask y/n and they would solve things if it were to be lies. what jeno didn't know at the time was all the other stuff jaemin had heard.
"listen," jeno started, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips, "i.. people are saying some stuff and i-," he cleared his throat again, in nervousness, "i thought i should let you know. i don't think they are true at all! but... one can never be too sure, right?" he asked, voice unsure as his eyes darted to meet jaemin's. the latter's brows furrowed in confusion, wondering what the hell jeno was talking about and he was just about to ask when he continued.
"in case it's wrong then you guys can always just clear it out but i heard this from someone close and thought i would let you know either ways," jeno's hand scratched his neck in nervousness.
"just fucking say it, oh my god," chenle huffed, impatient with the suspense the older was building up.
"i swear to god, if you say something like a joke," haechan warned, mark snorting.
"i'm serious, just," jeno groaned, wondering why he had to be the one to break the news.
"just tell me, jeno," jaemin smiled and jeno felt the already heavy load on his shoulder get 20 kgs heavier. he took a deep breath. all in one go, he thought, just like a band aid.
"y/n is cheating on you."
and jaemin's world fell apart.
everyone could have been wrong but jeno? could jeno be wrong too?
silence. total silence followed as jaemin's smile fell and his eyes stared ahead to jeno but not really.
he thought about y/n, thought if he could picture her doing anything like than and the answer came right away, even before he finished his thought. no. just no. she could never. but they always said it's the people you least expect it from. but y/n? she could never... right?
"what the fuck are you talking about?" it was mark who had spoken, the defensive tone evident in voice as he did nothing to mask it and jeno looked away from jaemin's eyes to the eldest.
"y/n could never, she's not like that," renjun chuckled drily, in disbelief.
"jeno, are you sure about this?" haechan raised a hand in front of him to assess the grave situation.
"that's what i said. i heard this from someone who's reliable, i can't say who, though."
jaemin cleared his throat catching everyone's attention. he gulped the lump in his throat before he looked around the group.
"i'll handle this, don't worry."
that was all he said but even if he sounded calm and collected, his eyes said a different story, and his clenched jaw showed a different side of the coin. and as much as they wanted to believe he would handle it with care with y/n, they saw the storm coming even before he did. because jaemin's eyes were on fire, he was aflame. and that uncertainty he had before had just been consumed with jeno's confirmation. jaemin's tipping point was reached. as he turned to walk away a hand grasped his arm.
"jaemin," it was jisung, jaemin waited for him to go on.
"she would never do that." was all he said.
the ding of his phone's notification brought him back from the memory. he reached out to his phone deciding this could no longer be avoided. he was determined enough. with these thoughts running in his head he dialed y/n's number and pressed the phone to his ear.
"hello? jaem?" she answered, and he sighed because how could she sound so angelic, and how was he supposed to confront her when he felt his heart tighten just by her voice. he sucked up the weakness he felt for her when she called out his name again.
"hey, where are you?" he asked softly, but no matter how much he tried to conceal it, the coldness in his voice seeped through.
"i'm at the cafe near my apartment with kyunhae," she giggled and at the mention of the name jaemin saw red. what the fuck was she doing with him?
"when will you be done? i need to talk to you," he deadpanned, voice colder than y/n had ever heard and she felt at alert right away. why was he talking like that?
"jaem?" wonder laced her voice as she silently asked what was up but jaemin said nothing.
"it's urgent," he specified and y/n had asked him to pick her up right away, sensing something was wrong. and jaemin was left confused to stare at his phone again.
how long are you gonna pretend you care about me? why are you doing me this dirty? why are you faking caring about me?
with those thoughts he had gotten up, whisked his jacket from behind his bedroom door and out of the house he was.
as he drove through the streets he tried to think again, he tried to figure out again if she could really have cheated on him. he was desperate for it to be a lie but then again, jeno had confirmed it, hadn't he?
could the girl that held him so tightly when they slept, cheat on him? could the girl he grew to love so much do this to him? how could she even think about it when she cried during children's movies, had ice cream cravings out of nowhere, cried in his arms, clinging to him when he had almost fainted from low blood pressure, helped him stand back on his feet whenever he was sick, babying him through the whole process. how could she cheat on him when she kissed him so softly, as if he was the most precious thing she had, when she held him so close as he murmured sweet nothings in her ears, when she looked at him with so much love when he smiled, when right as he laughed he would look over at her and she would be staring at him. her excuse? she loved seeing him happy. how could the same person that confessed her love for him in between shallow breaths, gasps and whines as he made her feel good be the same person to cheat. how could she make him feel so loved and so important if it was all fake.
it took him a total of twenty minutes to reach the cafe. he parked the car outside as he texted y/n he was out front. he waited for her leaned against the side of his car.
the door to the entrance to the cafe opened and y/n walked out first, face turned behind her as she laughed with kyunhae. jaemin's hands balled into fists as he watched the interaction, the anger swam in his veins as he watched y/n collide her fist against his in a fist bump before calling out a text me later.
y/n turned out front to jaemin and the way her eyes seemed to genuinely spark up in bright stars as soon she saw him had his heart clenching in pain. how long have you been mastering this act? how can you look this genuine?
"hi, handsome," she gushed as she pressed her chest to his, arms wrapping around his neck as she pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. jaemin gulped, eyes trained to her relaxed expression, eyes closed and a soft smile on her lips as she hugged him standing on her tippy toes. his arms shoot out out of habit as they went to wrap around her waist before his hands hovered over her frame. he couldn't do it. he couldn't pretend everything was okay.
as y/n didn't feel jaemin hug her back she pulled away slowly, her eyes looking up at him as her arms slowly fell away from him.
"jaem?" she softly called him and his eyes met hers, cold as ever. her hand raised to rest on his cheek in affection but before she could touch his skin, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and stopped her in her tracks. y/n's brows furrowed in confusion.
"let's go," he simply said as he stepped away and opened the passenger seat door for her, y/n looked at him for a few seconds more as he looked to the side and waited for her to get in, so she did.
the silence was eating y/n alive as she fidgeted with her fingers, suspecting something was wrong. she raked her brain, wondering if she did or said anything wrong but it all came empty.
"jaem?" she tentatively called for him. jaemin waited for a few seconds before he hummed in acknowledgement, but even that small sound seemed cold, colder than he had ever been.
"is something wrong?" she softly asked, hand reaching out to grasp his and intertwining their fingers before resting it on her lap. but as soon as the back of his hand rested against her jeans clad thigh he shook off her hand to grasp the wheel again.
she sat frozen, eyes trained where their hands were, her hand still in her lap the same way he had shook it off. what did i do so bad? she wondered.
"i'm driving," came his excuse but she knew something else was up. he had never rejected her touch like this.
"if something is wrong please tell me, i'll help you," she shook off the hurt before turning to him and sending a small smile, eyes pleading, but jaemin stared ahead, silent.
a few minutes later jaemin parked the car in his apartment building garage before swiftly getting out and waiting for y/n. it took her a few seconds before she was out too. they made their way to the elevators. the elevator came, they got in, and it went up to jaemin and his friend's apartment floor. all in silence.
jaemin walked in first, leaving the door open for y/n. as she closed the door behind her she made eye contact with jisung. the boy smiled warmly at the girl and stepped towards her.
"oh! didn't know you were coming over, want some?" he raised the hot pot of ramen, seemingly on the way to his room, and y/n smiled shaking her head as she took her shoes off.
"i ate, but thank you," she smiled warmly and jisung threw her a thumbs up before walking to his room and closing the door.
y/n walked into the apartment looking around for which way jaemin went before her eyes fell on his seated figure in the living room. everyone seemed to be in their own rooms apart from mark, who stood in the kitchen.
"hey," he waved, a warm smile on his lips before his eyes shifted jaemin and his smile dimmed a bit, y/n waved back.
she shuffled towards jaemin, still confused as to what happened.
"jaemin?" she called for him, his head snapped her way before he slowly stood up.
"do you have anything to tell me?" he asked and y/n thought hard and careful if she had forgotten anything but came up with nothing so she timidly shook her head, hands picking at the border of her tshirt. the one that belonged to jaemin.
"did i forget anything?" she murmured, head low as she felt guilty for forgetting something that affected him so much.
"you have nothing to tell me?" he repeated, a scoff following and y/n looked back up at him, her brows furrowed.
"okay, let me ask you this," he said, hands resting on his hips as he looked up at the ceiling. mark watched, debating whether he should leave or not, but then choosing against it, someone had to try and do damage control.
"what is kyunhae to you?" at the new question y/n's brows furrowed even more.
"jaem what are you reaching at?" she asked, confusion eating her alive. jaemin's eyes sent daggers her way and she realized that she never wanted to have that gaze on her ever again.
"answer my question; what. is. kyunhae. to. you?" he asked again, emphasizing his words. the agitation clear in his voice as he ran a hand through his hair. mark stepped into the living room area.
"jaemin, chill," he tried to calm the younger and prevent him from saying anything he would regret later. this wasn't how he thought jaemin would handle things.
"why can't she just answer?!" jaemin exclaimed. the more she delayed her answer the more anger rose in him. her lips quivered seeing a jaemin she had never seen. he had never talked to her like that, with so much hartred.
"he's just a friend! that's all! why are you asking me that!" she answered, her voice a notch higher as she felt attacked. the way he talked to her made her feel defensive. she had never felt attacked by him and she was scared, she didn't know what happened, why he was acting like that. but no matter how naive she was she wasn't stupid.
she heard what people said about her, she knew things reached jaemin's ears in the past and she had done everything in her power to show him he was the only person she loved, only person she cared about. that he was her everything, her all. she had gifted him with a matching promise ring, to reassure him that she was his, always will be. she had told him not to listen to anyone, only her. she loved him, she really did. that's why she always told him when she would be out with kyunhae, she wanted him to know that whenever he needed it she will drop him and come running to jaemin. because jaemin was her priority. she had told him about meeting him today too but jaemin had forgotten it seems.
"then why the fuck do i hear different things?" he all but screamed and y/n stood frozen on her spot, scared. he had never raised his voice at her, much less in the process of accusing her of anything.
"i swear jaem," her voice came out in a trembled whisper as jaemin breathed heavily, "none of it is true, i swear," she pleaded, her eyes stinging in desperation. she needed him to believe her.
"you're lying," he shook his head, an empty chuckle leaving his lips as he threw his head back in disbelief and anger, "you've been lying for who knows how long," he muttered and y/n's brows furrowed, offended.
"i have never lied to you," she breathed out, before she remembered mark standing nearby. she took two quick steps towards him, taking a hold of his hand softly, "jaem, let's talk about it in your room, okay? let's solve this," she pleaded as she softly pulled his hand but jaemin snatched his arm away from her.
"no," he shook his head, "we're gonna do it here, so you can't lie to me anymore," his voice rose as he pointed around him and y/n's eyes blurred in frustration and hurt. how could he be like this.
"jaem what has gotten into you?" she asked, voice a tremble as the first tears threatened to spill, "please, i don't want to lose you, let's calm down and talk about this," she pleaded again.
"if you didn't want to lose me you should've thought about it before you cheated on me!"
y/n felt her heart break at his words, she felt like he had pushed her off of a building, she felt like the ground was snatched from under her feet and she was left falling into the void. the emotion swam in her expression.
"what's going on?"
mark's head snapped towards renjun and haechan's figures as they stepped out of their rooms and into the living room, eyes widened in alarm shifting from y/n to jaemin and then to mark.
mark shook his head. the three looked at y/n, her emotions set on her face and they knew right away they had the whole situation wrong. jaemin had it wrong.
she didn't look alarmed, caught in the act or guilty, she looked down right betrayed, hurt, and deceived.
"i did nothing of the sort, jaemin," her voice came out offended, disbelief swimming in her tone.
"jaem," haechan walked in front of his friend, partially blocking y/n's view, "that's enough, calm down," he muttered lowly, only jaemin hearing him. jaemin shook his head as he pushed haechan away softly.
"no, i need to know why," he insisted, "why would you do that to me? why not just tell me?" he asked again.
"i didn't do anything! i understand you heard it somewhere but hell, jaemin, at least ask me before you assume the worst!" she exclaimed her arms raising and dropping by her sides.
"and you're still fucking lying to me!" he raised his voice again in exasperation.
"i have no reason to lie to you! why are you saying all this to me? how could i ever do that to you, jaem?" her voice grew quiet at the end, just the thought of his implications finally sending the tears tumbling down her cheeks. jaemin scoffed.
"exactly, how could you do that to me?! all i ever did was treat you with care, i always put you first!" he countered again, the vein in his neck popping.
"jaem, you're not listening to me, please, just listen to me," she pleaded a sob escaping her lips as she stepped closer t him, her hands grasping his cheeks in desperation for him to look at her eyes, to believe her, "i love you, i would never ever do anything like that, please trust me, let them all be, just trust me."
but jaemin took a hold of her hands and let them fall in between them.
"what if it's someone close to me that told me," he scoffed stepping away.
"jaemin don't," renjun interfered, standing in front of y/n, blocking her completely from jaemin's eyes.
"just go home y/n," jaemin shook his head as his fingers ran trough his hair and he turned away.
"yah, you're exaggerating," mark called him out and jaemin threw him a glance.
"then why bring me here? why do this in front of everyone when you could've done that when you met me, why this whole thing?" she asked quietly. she didn't know what she felt, she didn't know who this person in front of her even was.
she understood jaemin, she really did. hearing so many things from so many people must've played with his head, she understood it. but fucking hell she wished he had talked to her about it, about all of it. she wished he didn't lash out on her, she wished he had just remembered who she was and how much she loved him. she was a person too, wasn't she? she could get hurt too, right?
when jaemin didn't answer she hurriedly turned around, making her way to the door. she fleetingly saw the youngest two silently standing in front of their door at the commotion but she paid no mind to that. all she wanted was to go away. y/n felt so lost, so betrayed; why didn't he believe her? why didn't he just ask her?
"y/n wait-" haechan tried to call back the girl but she was already out of the door, quickly walking to the elevator and pressing repeatedly on the button.
"fucking hell jaem, is this how you planned to handle it? really?" renjun scolded the black haired guy. jaemin sat on the couch, head in his hands and eyes brimming with tears. suspiciously all their phones dinged one after the other. chenle and jisung looking at each other in confusion as they were the only ones to notice.
mark ran out of the apartment slowly coming to a stop in beside of y/n. she kept her head down, tears dripping on the floor from the tip of her nose as she sniffled.
"y/n," mark took a hold of her elbow, "wait for a second, you can't leave alone. it's late, I'll take you home, hmm?" he tried to persuade her softly, careful not to be too loud. but she shook her head.
"thank you, but i need to be alone," she whispered, her shoulder shaking as she took in a harsh breath. mark's eyes softened.
"let me call you an uber, at least?" he offered again, hand caressing her hair in affection but she shook her head again.
"I'll be okay," she muttered as the doors to the elevator dinged and opened. y/n took a step forward before coming to a stop when another pair of shoes came into her view, she stepped aside muttering a sorry.
"oh, y/n..?" jeno's voice was surprised, his phone held on his hand and his eyes wide. he looked at mark, who held the most disappointed look on his face, brows furrowed. jeno looked back at y/n in confusion.
she looked up at his voice and the sight of her wet cheeks, red nose and swollen eyes sent an alarm to jeno. his eyes widened as he stammered.
"fuck, y/n, I'm so sorry- i didn't know-" jeno was at a loss of words as realization dawned on y/n and she smiled bitterly.
"it's okay," she simply said as she walked into the elevator and waited for the doors to close.
-
jaemin looked up as mark and jeno walked into the apartment, just at the same time as jisung and chenle stumbled out of their rooms, phone grasping in their hands.
"hyung, you gotta see this," chenle shoved his phone into jaemin's face. the latter took in a deep breath, taking the phone from the younger.
"jaem," jeno muttered, eyes remorseful, "i'm so sorry," he solemnly muttered out, and jaemin furrowed his brows in confusion before looking at the screen of chenle's phone.
under the instagram picture, written in bold letters, the words "SHE SAID YES" and the small line underneath "thank you y/n for helping me make it even more memorable" were mocking him. and as jaemin ran his fingers through his hair for the nth time that evening and gripped his roots in a vice like grip, his eyes scanned the picture. the picture of kyunhee and who he assumed was his fiancé now. jaemin felt like the biggest idiot in the planet.
-
so as y/n helped kyunhee with the preparations of his engagement party with the biggest smile she could muster up, the happiness she painted on didn't quite reach her eyes. jaemin had tried again and again to contact her but y/n made it a point to ignore all his texts and all his calls, only using her phone when extremely needed.
she helped her dear friend through the whole process, never missing a beat to tell him and the lucky girl how proud she was of them both.
kyunhee felt guilty taking her help, so much so that y/n had screamed at him to not give her the pity look. she had explained that she needed the distraction and after much thought he let her handle whatever she wanted.
he told himself if he ever came face to face with jaemin he would've made him taste his fist, but he knew they would resolve their misunderstanding. of course they would, they loved each other infinitly after all.
y/n was surprised when two days after the break up her mother came knocking on her door. at first she had thought jaemin had called her and as soon as she was about to send her mother away, the older woman had told, "i knew something wasn't right, i could feel it." and so y/n had her dearest mother at her apartment, making sure she got the energy she needed and she ate well.
jaemin on the other hand was lost. completely lost. he beat himself up for how he had talked to y/n, he scolded himself for not having talked it out. he regretted not listening to her when she was asking for him to listen.
he tried calling her a thousand times. he tried texting her from the boys' phones and every time he would let a dry laugh out when she would reply "tell jaem i don't want to speak." he knew his girl knew him too well and he felt worse every time because how did he let go of her? what an idiot.
so it was with a heavy heart and jaw clenched in embarrassment that jaemin was standing in front of a building, waiting for the one he misunderstood. truth be told, he was nervous, for what he still didn't know but he had a hunch.
"jaemin," a voice pulled him out of his thoughts and jaemin turned to his right to come face to face with a poker face kyunhee. he cleared his voice, holding out his hand for a handshake.
"hey, i hope i didn't mess up your schedule, i can only imagine how busy you are," jaemin smiled a tight lipped smile. kyunhee stared at him for a second before deciding to be cooperative for y/n's sake. he grasped jaemin's hand and gave it a firm shake before letting go.
"you technically did," he sighed, jaemin's brows furrowed, a confused sound leaving his lips, "mess up my schedule. i had an appointment i had to cancel," kyunhee said, arms crossing over his chest. jaemin blinked for a few seconds before muttering a soft sorry in embarrassment. silence fell upon the two guys. kyunhee's eyes stayed put on jaemin's wavering ones. he could practically see the wheels turning in the black haired guy.
"what the hell are you guys doing?" kyunhee sighed then. jaemin's eyes snapped on him, eyes wide in alarm.
"i-i'm very sorry for misunderstanding your intentions. i really am," jaemin blabbed, kyunhee rolled his eyes.
"why are you apologizing to me when the person you should apologize to is somewhere else?" kyunhee asked as a matter of fact.
"she doesn't want to talk to me," jaemin whispered, eyes looking away and jaw clenching. kyunhee scoffed catching jaemin's attention again.
"yeah no shit she doesn't," the newly engaged one spat out and jaemin let out a humorless snicker, head nodding.
"you acted like a total dick to her, i don't even know how she hasn't blocked you yet," kyunhee shot again and jaemin listened, for he knew he deserved it. the former's eyes softened for a second at jaemin's obvious miserable eyes, before hardening again.
"oi, dickhead," he called jaemin, foot kicking at his shin, jaemin ducked to hold his shin out of instinct, eyes snapping up in despair.
"oi! what was that for?" he called.
"i won't tell you to go to her place and beg for forgiveness, because quite frankly, that's not going to work," kyunhee deadpanned and jaemin nodded, hanging to his every word.
"give her time, jaemin, she's hurt," he continued.
jaemin stared at the floor at his feet as he thought. guilt enveloping him in its arms as usual these days. he took a deep breath again and looked up at his girlfriend's friend, he offered a small smile.
"thank you, really," jaemin muttered, genuine gratefulness in his voice, "for holding her up, i know it should've been me but i'm glad she has a friend like you, i'm really sorry again."
"it's okay, don't worry about it. just think about what kind of pose you need to hold when you're begging on your knees for her forgiveness," kyunhee bit back in a lighter tone, feeling weird about all the formality. jaemin snorted the real smile in a while, grateful kyunhee got rid of the heavy serious air around them.
"congratulations on your engagement, by the way," jaemin clapped the side of kyunhee's arm and the latter thanked him, before a thought hit him and his eyes squinted as he looked at jaemin.
"uhhh why are you looking at me like that?" the black haired one asked, an unsure tone to his voice.
"you know what? why don't you..."
-
"the place looks so pretty!" y/n turned to her mother with a proud smile as the older woman looked around the engagement party venue with sparkling eyes, "you did a great job, love," she turned to y/n and lovingly caressed her face.
"thank you, mom," y/n giggled, her hand grasping her mom's as they made their way through the crowd.
the venue was decorated in hues of white and lilacs, the stage at the front of it was decorated with fresh flowers and thin branches giving it a very fresh look.
her eyes lit up when she saw her dear friend and his fiancé in the distance.
"let's go say hi to kyunhee," she told her mother as they made their way towards the couple.
-
it was thirty minutes later, when y/n was enjoying her time with a few friends and their families that the murmurs started.
at first y/n didn't pay any attention to it because who cares if a handsome guy was at the party, she was already taken. well. not anymore, but that didn't change the fact that her heart lay where jaemin was.
so imagine her surprise when she turned around to look around the place and her eyes fell on none other than the handsome guy everyone was talking about. na jaemin.
as soon as their eyes met y/n's head snapped towards kyunhee a few meters away, talking to another guest, and the piece of shit had the audacity to smile at her and throw a wink before returning his eyes to the guest.
jaemin slowly came to a stop beside her, back as straight as a wooden plank, shoulders tense. he threw a tight lipped smile around the few people surrounding him as he greeted them.
"jaemin dear?" y/n's mother's eyes sparked up in adoration and y/n smiled softly at the scene as her mom engulfed a chuckling jaemin in her arms, hands grasping his face softly as she gushed over him.
"how long it has been, love, how are you?" she asked and jaemin chuckled before patting her back and stood back up straight to look at her.
"too long, sorry i couldn't come to say hi sooner, i was stuck with all the assignments i pushed back," he apologized, ever the gentleman and y/n's eyes stung a bit as she blinked.
"ahh you study so well, but don't neglect your health," she smiled again as she hugged him tighter and jaemin nodded hugging her back. what he didn't expect was the words the older woman whispered in his ear as she pulled away.
"make things right, love, fight for each other," and she gave him the most loving smile as she said something about enjoying the evening and walked to a group of ladies.
jaemin's eyes fell on y/n and she looked away as jaemin stepped up beside her as she pulled away from the small group, saying something about getting a glass of prosecco.
she threw him a side glance as she stopped at the table.
"why are you following me," at the sound of her voice jaemin let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. his hand twitched to hold hers.
"i wanted some prosecco," he muttered and a small smile pulled at his lips when she blushed in embarrassment before nodding and moving away with the glass in her hand, jaemin doing the same. the two stood at the side in silence.
"y/n," jaemin called after a while and y/n hummed, her eyes trained to the live band, "i'm very sorry," he whispered. y/n stopped in the middle of taking a sip before detaching the glass from her lips.
"i don't want to talk about it, jaem," she muttered before taking the sip, finishing the content in the flute all in one go. jaemin's hand rested against the back of her waist in reflex.
"slow, you're gonna get dizzy," he muttered and y/n could hear the worry in his tone, and she hated it because how could he sound like that after all he had said.
there were a few things that put jaemin's worry at rest. that assured him that y/n was still is girl. he felt a small smile tug at his lips when she called him by his nickname, when she didn't push away his hand on her waist, his chest puffed out, and when she nodded at his words of worry he felt himself relax a bit.
"you're beautiful," he muttered loud enough for only y/n to hear as he took a sip of his prosecco, eyes set on her as she turned around with narrowed eyes, only to blush like crazy when her eyes met his. jaemin's eyes held an intimacy she couldn't hold right now. he let out a deep chuckle when her chest and neck set up in flames.
they stood there side by side as they watched the many couples dancing. jaemin's eyes would settle on her every few seconds, so much so that she could feel it every time.
"what are you two doing?" y/n's mother's voice made the couple's head snap to the side. y/n made sure a soft smile settled on her lips as her mother's friends followed her.
"who's this, y/n?" one of them asked, curious eyes settled onto jaemin, the latter giving a polite smile and a bow as he muttered his hellos. before y/n could answer, her mother chimed in.
"oh! this is jaemin, i told you about him! he's my daughter's boyfriend, such a gem, let me tell you. sweetest boy i ever met," she gushed, and y/n's panic stricken eyes met jaemin's smiling ones. her eyes narrowed at his pleased look.
"oh my, he's so gorgeous! you're absolutely stunning, dear!" one of the women smiled as she caressed his cheek and jaemin chuckled, muttering a thank you.
"well, what are you two doing here? go for a dance!" y/n's mother ushered as she pushed them to the clearing, where other couples were dancing.
y/n made to protest and push back but her words got swallowed up by the encouraging giggling of the older women as they stumbled upon the floor.
y/n looked at jaemin as he settled his prosecco flute on the tray of a passing waiter.
a few minutes later the two found themselves slowly swaying to the music. one of y/n's hands in jaemin's as his other hand rested against the middle of her back. his thumb brushed slowly in a comforting manner, so much so that y/n found herself stopping from leaning her head on his shoulder out of instict.
jaemin's eyes stayed on her features as hers looked anywhere but him. his heart hurt that she didn't want to even look at him, but he also understood. he had hurt her deeply, after all.
"y/n," he called, voice loud enough only for her to hear. she hummed in acknowledgment, "look at me," he tapped his thumb against her back and she reluctantly looked up at him.
"i'm sorry," he squeezed her hand, and she remained silent. she didn't know what to say. what do you say to sorry when you can't say it's okay? do you ignore it? do you say i heard you? do you just nod? what do you do?
people say sorry and expect everything to be fine, they say sorry when they know the answer is going to be it's okay. but, to y/n it wasn't okay, it couldn't be okay. she didn't know if it would be anytime soon or anything. all she knew was that she was hurt, extremely hurt. so she couldn't say it's okay.
she loved jaemin tremendously. so much so it was scary. she loved him so much her chest hurt sometimes, her lungs felt like giving out and her heart felt like squeezing the life out of it. it was painful how much she actually loved him. she felt like crying if she didn't ignore how much she actually loved him.
not because it was unhealthy, but because she knew she would give it all up for him. she couldn't dwell too much on the love she harbored for him, she just had to live with the knowledge that she loved him a lot. she knew if she tried to think about how much she loved him she would cry so much it would worry him. and she didn't know how she could ever explain that.
because how do you explain to someone you love them so much you want to cry because your heart hurts, it hurts so much because even your heart is too small to contain that much love. because you love everything about them, all of it. and you know how cheesy it is when people list out all the reasons why they love someone but your love is different; you can't pin point what exactly you love, you can't pin point what makes you happy about them, and you can't bring yourself to just find one physical attribute you love about them because that would be a lie, because that's not why you love them, and you can't say personality because as much as that's the closest thing as to why you love them, it's not quite there yet.
you just love them. the essence of what and who they are, with all their flaws and imperfections and all things perfect, it's just them entirely. it's their ability to smile when they're hurting, it's the way they make mistakes and they learn, the way they just are. and you can't explain it so you just accept it that when someone asks why you love them you'll just have to say a measly i love everything about them, and as cute as that sounds it's so basic and so underwhelming to what you actually feel but that's all that you're able to say.
so y/n stared at jaemin's eyes and her eyes stung and moistened up because she could feel her heart hurting, because she let herself actually feel how much she loved him. yes, he hurt her. yes, she was in pain. but the pain she felt from loving him was so much greater and so much more overwhelming.
jaemin was quick to softly push his hand on her back and encourage her to rest her head on his shoulder, knowing how much she hated crying in public. she gladly took the support, resting her forehead on his shoulder. he hushed her as his lips pressed against her hair.
"you hurt me," she said, and jaemin rested her hand clasped in his on his other shoulder, fingers squeezing hers, arm tightening around her back.
"i know, i'm so sorry, really, i'm so sorry, princess," he muttered, lips pressed to her hair.
"i felt like i lost everything," she started, voice trembling as she forced herself to not cry, "everything we build up, everything we went through, i felt like i lost all of it. i tried to care so much for you, i tried to show you how much i loved so hard, but i-" her voice choked, "-i felt like i lost it all, and you wouldn't even listen to me. i was so alone, i felt so alone," she continued, and jaemin's eyes stung as he listened to her, because that was all she needed; for him to listen to her.
he brought her hands behind his neck as he grasped her face in his hands and pulled her back to look her in the eyes. he sent her a soft smile as his thumbs caressed her cheeks.
"i'm so sorry i made you feel like that. i'm an absolute asshole,-" "yes you are," he chuckled as she interrupted him, "i will make it up to you. i swear, i will, please accept my apologies."
his lips downturned as she shook her head before his brows furrowed in confusion when she rested her head back on his shoulder and crossed her fingers at the back of his neck.
"make it up to me and maybe i will," she spoke softly and jaemin smiled fondly as he rest one arm around her waist and the other rose up to caress her head lovingly, and y/n's eyes closed at the action, a smile pulling at her lips.
"deal," he chuckled, before he smiled teasingly, "i'm surprised you didn't cry, you crybaby," he teased and she mutter a fuck you.
"why would i cry," she scoffed and jaemin laughed at her words.
after a beat of silence, "i read somewhere if you clench your butthole right when you're about to cry it stops the waterworks, guess it works."
and jaemin laughed loudly as she shook in his arms from her own laughter.
#htyping#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop oneshots#kpop fic#kpop fluff#kpop angst#nct dream#nct dream na jaemin#nct#nct jaemin#na jaemin#jaemin fluff#jaemin angst#jaemin fic#jaemin oneshot#jaemin scenarios#jaemin imagines#nct dream scenarios#nct dream imagines#nct dream fic#nct dream angst#nct dream fluff#na jaemin fluff#na jaemin angst#na jaemin scenarios#na jaemin imagines#na jaemin fic#nct fluff#nct angst
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To The End (Chapter 6: Blue Jeans)
Pairing: 90's Damon Albarn x Reader
Warnings: Language, fluff, a bit smutty, drug and alcohol use, maybe spelling mistakes as always.
Summary: You are Damon Albarn's best friend, now everything is confused since the kiss you both shared. Is your relationship finally going to evolve ? You'll make a nice encounter as the chapter goes.
Words: 3269
A/N: Merry Christmas Y'all ! Sorry I'm a day late today, but I enjoyed Christmas with my family as well. This chapter is longer than usual, told you it would be longer through the story ! Enjoy !
“You know it could be with you
And don't give up on me yet
Don't think I'm walking out of this”
Reading Festival- August 28th 1993:
After the band’s gig, there was an after party, as always.
For the occasion, there was one of my favourite bands: New Order. Meeting Bernard Sumner was one of my dreams, and it finally happened. We started flirting, not going too far, I knew he was married, and he wasn’t the man I truly wanted. It was just for pure fun. But what I didn’t know, was that Damon’s gaze on me had been insistent.
That’s when he approached us that I knew something was wrong.
- Y/N, I need to talk to you.
- Talk, I’m all ears. I answered, quite tipsy
- No, like in somewhere… private.
- Where do you want to talk? There is no privacy here it’s a bloody festival !
- We’ll find, follow me. It’s urgent.
I apologized to Bernard, following Damon. He took my hand and adapted a quick walk.
- Hey slow down, I can’t walk as fast as you! And I’m really worried about you though !
He took us to a closet, and locked us in.
- What do you think you’re doing ?
- I don’t understand Dames.
- What’s in your mind ? he snapped at me
- Are you high ? Drunk ? Both ?
- Really ? Flirting with Bernard Sumner ? God Y/N he’s married !
- I know ! why do you mind ? Are you…Jealous ?
He was about to answer, but his speech got stuck in his throat.
- I… Oh fuck it ! He said before crashing his lips on mine.
I was surprised but responded to the kiss, melting into it, while his tongue was asking for entrance to caress mine. I let it happen, putting my arms around his neck, standing on my tiptoes, and my hand went massaging his hair. When he removed his lips from mine, needing air, I opened my eyes without letting go of him.
- It was our second kiss, what was that for ?
- I’m drunk, but I know what I’m doing. I remember exactly what I told you months ago in Germany, in fact I remember everything from that night, I just didn’t want to admit it. Yes Y/N, I was jealous. I love you and I couldn’t stand to see you flirting with Sumner.
- Geez Damon, do you know how long I have been waiting for this ? I wasn’t even sure you felt the same as me! I feel so relieved because I’ve been in love with you for years, but I was so scared you wouldn’t feel the same as me that I decided not to tell you.
- How long ?
- For about 10 years.
- So I was right when you left tour 2 years ago. You were jealous.
- I was sad to see you in someone else’s arms, it just made me lose my fucking mind and I really missed our place and I decided to go home. I’ve always been true to you my little devil.
- You should have told me. I would never have rejected you. It’s been also quite a long time that I have been in love with you too, but I’ve been seeing other girls because I thought I couldn’t have you.
- And you can have all the girls you want, why me ?
- I told you. I love you. And when I look at you ex-boyfriends, they weren’t looking like me at all, I thought I wasn’t your type.
He had a point here, but it was only to stifle the evidence. I was dating because Damon was dating. But none had my body. I wanted Damon to make love to me. No one else. I wasn’t in love with any of those guys, and I needed to really like someone to sleep with him.
- If only I had known earlier, we wouldn't have wasted so much time. He said
- It wasn’t your fault, Damon.
- And so now that we both confessed… what are we ?
- I’m whatever you want me to be Dames.
He kissed me once more, not keeping his hands off me.
- We could be in an open relationship you know ?
Oh fuck. Not this. But it was like… weird? He just said he was jealous to see me with someone else and he proposed to be in an open relationship? I couldn’t lose him. I couldn’t lose anything I had with him. Nothing. I only had one choice.
- Yeah. I’ve been dreaming to be yours for so long…
Oh Shit Y/N, you coward. The only choice I had was to wait for our relationship to work enough. To change this into an exclusive relationship. For him to be mine and only mine. From now, he could shag other girls and oh, I hated this. I wouldn’t do the same. I couldn’t. Question is, would it make us closer or tear us apart?
- Sleep with me tonight. He said
- Only if…
- I only mean sleep Y/N, we’re going to take our time. you should trust me since we've known each other for so long. And after all, you’re a grown-up lady, it’s not like you haven’t shagged anyone, so you already slept with boys.
- Yeah! I answered, almost stuttering
If only he knew the truth, he would be surprised. I was ready to lose my virginity for a long time now, but I wanted him to pop my cherry. I didn’t want to lose it to some guy. Yeah, I would have ended as a spinster. But now that Damon and I were together, it was only a matter of time.
*
The next morning, I woke up in Damon’s arms. We didn’t tell the boys we decided to date, but they would guess one day or another. What woke me up was something poking against my thigh. Yeah, it was his “morning glory”. I decided to act as I was still asleep to try something I wanted to do for such a long time. Tease him. So I started grinding against his erection. He let out a strangled moan.
It didn’t awake him. So, I did it again. This time, his moan was a bit louder, and I felt his hands grip my hips.
- Oh god… Y/N, are you awake?
I growled with my morning voice.
- Hm? Good morning little devil…
- I’m not the little devil here, you are.
- What? I said pretending to be confused
- You were awake, don’t you?
- Not until you asked me, tiring me from my sleep you knobhead. What’s the matter?
- Well…you were moving against me…
- And?
- You don’t know?
- What should I know?
He pressed himself against me, making me feel his boner.
- This. He muttered in my ear
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- So I did this?
- Probably. It’s like if I did this to you.
His hand disappeared under the covers and suddenly, I felt his index touch my clit through the fabric of my panties, making me whimper.
And he liked the sound of it. So, he kept doing it. I whimpered again and moaned.
- You like it, do you?
I moaned in response
- You’ll have to use your words love.
- Yes. Yes, I like it.
He kept going until I was a moaning mess, soaking my panties with my juices, and I felt a coil threatening me to snap, getting closer and closer each time his finger rubbed my sensitive nub.
- Fuck Damon…
- Yes, I know baby. But it won’t be for this time. He said, taking his hand away from me.
I whined at the loss
- Hey! why do you start something you won’t finish?
- I could ask you the same question, I know you were awake. I want us to take our time my love. You’re not some girl I sleep with for a single night.
Yeah, but some girls were having him for a night, he wasn’t entirely mine.
- What a gentleman.
*
September 03rd 1993-Glasgow:
And here we were, with Damon flirting with some Scottish girl in this bar after Radiohead’s and Blur’s show. And here I was at this table with them, alone, and drinking more than I should have, to forget about what I was feeling at this damn moment. From time to time, he put his arm around my shoulders, but it felt like I didn’t exist.
I emptied my fourth glass before going back to the bar to order a new drink.
- You are not one of his groupies are ya? A male voice asked me
- Actually, I’m his girlfriend. I answered without looking at him
- And that’s how he treats you? flirting with girls even when you’re here?
- Yeah, but I signed for it. I said, drinking my fifth glass
- What do you mean?
- We’re in a bloody open relationship.
- It sounds like you’re not happy with it.
I finally looked at the man. It was Thom Yorke himself
- Well it’s a bit complicated.
- I’ve got all my time to listen to you. your boyfriend seems hell-bent on taking this girl back to the hotel to shag her. I offer you my ears.
- Well that’s very kind of you but…
- Please, I insist. He answered, cutting me off
So I began to explain my story with Damon from the beginning without giving too much details, and without telling him I was a virgin.
- Wow. This guy really doesn’t deserve you.
- I wouldn’t say that, I…
- No I mean it. You’re here, ready to do anything for him, and he shags other girls.
- At least, he loves me.
- Oh darling, He may love you, I don’t know, but it’s clearly not correct.
- That’s why I’m here, confessing to the singer of another band I barely know. But anyway, thank you for listening to me when I’m drunk and talking about my shit.
- Nah, that’s okay. But before everything, do you want to go somewhere else?
- Yeah, I really want to get out of here and not having to look at this bit…
I looked at Damon who was now kissing the said girl, and I couldn’t stand it.
- Okay, you know what? Let’s go, I’m taking you somewhere you won’t have to look at them and stand this shit. You’re not a second choice Y/N, that’s his problem now.
- Let me leave him a message at first.
I asked for a piece of paper and a pen to the bartender. In my message, I stood quite kind. QUITE.
“Gone with Thom Yorke to visit the city, have fun with your lovely blonde chick.”
I handed the paper to the bartender and asked him to give it to Damon while I was leaving the bar with Thom.
- So, where do you wanna go? He asked me
- Somewhere quiet, If I could say, I would say home. I answered sighing
- Do you want to go to your hotel room?
- Certainly not, I share it with Damon, he’s probably going to fuck her in here.
- We could go to mine if you wish?
- Well yeah, nevermind, actually I don’t even care if you sleep with me as long as we don’t fuck.
- We won’t. And I’m not the right man to take your virginity.
- What? How do you know about that?
- I can see it in the way you talked to me that you haven’t done anything, that’s all. You have something innocent inside. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.
- Well… thanks I guess?
- You’re welcome, I guess?
He took a vodka bottle off his jacket.
- Where did you get this?
- I paid for it at the bar, want some? He asked me, handing me the bottle
- Gladly, thank you. I said, taking it and drinking the half of it, wincing.
- Oi slow down miss, you’re going to nee a part of your stomach left to do what we’re going to do.
- And what is that? I’m already so fucking wasted anyway.
- Smoking. He answered
I bursted out of laughter
- I don’t need my stomach to smoke cigarettes!
- I don’t mean this kind of smoke…
- You mean…
- Yeah, good joints. And with alcohol sometimes, it hurts.
- Wow, okay. The thing is I only smoke cigarettes, I’ve never smoked pot.
- There a first time to everything Y/N. He said winking at me
*
I had never been high thanks to pot before but being drunk and high was a wonderful show. Thom and I were lying on the ground of the balcony of his hotel room, looking at the stars. My vision was like blurry and it’s like the sky was moving because my head was turning and I was feeling fucking good.
- You’re not talking much. He said, smoking his second joint
- Well I’m drunkenly high mate.
- Believe me, I know this feeling more than anyone else.
- Yeah sure, you’re reputed to drink a lot.
- And it’s hella true. It’s not alcoholism, I just like the effects it brings.
- If you say so.
- What about you?
- I don’t usually drink that much, it’s just because I don’t want to feel anything bad when Damon flirts with someone else.
- It’s gonna get toxic you know ?
- Nobody knows, he may change one day.
- Maybe, but be careful.
- He was my best friend before being my boyfriend, I trust him.
- You said it yourself, he was your best friend before being your boyfriend, and that’s not the same thing. That’s why I’m telling you to be careful. I know we only met tonight and I’m a stranger, but I’m a man, and I know men, I know what they think and what they do.
- Thank you for that Thom. It’s very kind. You’re different you know? you’re not looking to sleep with me.
- It’s all about consent. You’re pretty, but you fixed your limits, and I respect that.
*
I woke up the next morning totally shitfaced. I didn’t even remember how I ended up in the bed I was sleeping in. Thom was asleep on a char in front of me.
-Huh… what happened? I asked my hand touching my forehead.
He woke up and yawned.
- Hello Y/N, you seem shitfaced.
- I am.
- You don’t remember anything?
- The last thing I know is we were laid on the balcony watching the stars and chatting.
- Yeah, well right after this, you fell asleep, and when I went to put you to bed you mumbled to me to take your shoes and pants off, and when I covered you, you asked me if Damon was okay.
- Sorry ‘bout that.
- I’ve seen worse, no worries. Aspirin? He asked me, handing me the medicine and a water bottle
- Oh, thank God.
- I’m only Thom, but you’re welcome. I’ll call a cab for you, is your hotel far away from here?
- I don’t have any idea. But I really don’t feel like walking.
- That’s why I said I’ll call a cab.
*
I got up in the cab and thanked Thom for everything. I arrived at the hotel and directly went to the room I shared with Damon. He was at the hotel’s restaurant for breakfast as said on the message he left me on a piece of paper.
I joined them with my sunglasses on, because daylight was killing me. The first one I saw was Alex.
- Ah Y/N, finally back? He said when he saw me
- Shh don’t talk so loudly for fuck’s sake.
- Seems like miss Y/L/N had a rough night. Dave answered
- Where the fuck were you? Damon asked me upset
- With Thom. We spent the night drinking and chatting, I’m totally shitfaced.
- No shag? He insisted
- Why? You’re scared I would have shagged someone that’s not you? I said smiling to provoke him
- Nah, just a question. He answered, throwing me a dark look
- You okay? I asked him
- Yeah, I just didn’t sleep that much.
- Eventful night huh? Was she a big shag? I said, drinking Graham’s orange juice
- That’s my…
- Let her drink, she spent the night outside. Alex told him
- Yeah, full of erotic sensations.
Okay, he decided to provoke me too. Let’s fight.
- I don’t doubt it. Was she worth it?
- Huh guys… Alex said
- What about you? Damon said pissed
- Oh, so worth it. I discovered a new part I had inside me.
Damon slammed his fist against the table
- What’s your fucking problem Y/N?
- Oh, I have none, unless the fact that someone slept in my bed! I answered
- Oh, come on, it’s not like I forced you to stay outside during the whole fucking night!
- Not, I’ve chosen that, because I didn’t want to spend the night alone in the bed until you were done fucking this whore!
- Okay guys, please go outside… Graham tried
- Oh fine! that’s how you see things? Damon yelled
- It’s exactly like it fucking is Damon! I answered the same
- STOP! Go to your fucking room to argue, and I don’t know, just fuck already! Dave yelled at us
Damon got up without even looking at me and started walking out of the restaurant.
- Where the fuck do you think you’re going Albarn?
He didn’t answer and kept walking, I got up as well and followed him. We found ourselves in the elevator.
- What’s fucking got into you Y/N? he yelled at me
- Oh, like you don’t know!
- What, you’re jealous?
- As if you were not! A few days ago, you told me you loved me and couldn’t stand to see me with another man and at this exact same moment you told me you wanted us to be in an open relationship, make up your fucking mind! Am I your girlfriend or just some distraction? Some second choice? What am I to you Damon? I said, tears running down my face
- But… you told me you were okay with it!
- I am not! I just didn’t want to disappoint you and lose you. I’ve been hoping for a “us” for such a long time! I didn’t want you to think I was possessive and change your habits, it’s the only reason why I accepted! Here now I fucked up.
Damon started crying as well, taking me in his arms.
- Love, you should have told me earlier! It’s okay, I perfectly understand. I know I really can be an asshole and I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt like this.
- And now I’ve lost you…
- Lost me? Love, absolutely not. You really want it to be only you and me? Deal. No more girls, no more open relationship, just you and me.
- It doesn’t bother you then?
- No, these girls don’t mean anything to me. You’re the only one I want.
I totally broke down when he said this, And I felt him sob against me.
- I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you, it won’t happen ever again, I promise.
- I trust you Damon.
#damon albarn#damon albarn smut#damon albarn fanfic#damon albarn x reader#graham coxon#alex james#dave rowntree#blur band#gorillaz#britpop#Spotify
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L.o.v.e.l.e.s.s. generation
Request: Amazing!! Can i ask for a billy hargrove imagine where he and the reader are together and at a party. They separate for like an hour so he goes with his friends for a while and shes with hers and she gets roofied. Steve and nancy try to help her and then call billy and hes a mess trying to get her to throw up and hes just blabbering and crying and mad af. So much angst and then fluff and yeah.
@peakascum i’m so sorry for taking so looooong.
words: 7.4 k
Summary: Billy has a bad feeling about a party at Tina’s and you don’t trust your gut feeling because of a kiss, Nancy can kick some ass and both, you and Billy, are the kind of people who cry in the shower.
Warnings: *trigger warning* We have dark shit here, like pls people if any of your friends get too drunk or you think someone has put something in their drink GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Don’t follow the characters behaviour down below.
billy hargrove masterlist
"There’s a party at Tina’s tonight”, you muttered after disconnecting your lips from Billy’s, who had been more than happy on your make-out session in the parking lot of Hawkins High.
You fluttered your eyes to watch your hot, hot, boyfriend who was perfectly placed between your legs while he kissed you softly. You weren’t sure how Billy kept his glowing tan all year long, especially in Hawkins but you loved how it combined with his blue electric eyes that pierced you every time he watched you. You removed some of the blonde locks falling on his forehead and placed another kiss on his full lips.
Sometimes you didn’t know how you managed to snatch him.
He sighed, “I heard, are you sure you want to go?”, he groaned as he tried to chase your lips once more but you stopped him as you jumped from the hood of the blue Camaro.
“When does Billy Hargrove rejects a party?”, you asked while raising your brows. You picked up your bag from the floor and began fixing your skirt and sweater, you had to be ready for the debate team meeting while he rolled his eyes.
You smiled but you turned around as you heard a couple of girls from Billy’s friend group nattering about you from afar as they saw Billy pulling you in once more for another kiss.
See, how could you even start to recount your relationship with Billy Hargrove? it was hard. Not because it was a difficult relationship, but because you two seemed so different from the outside that sometimes people didn’t even believe that you had lasted so long in the first place. Billy and you had been going strong for over eight months now and it felt like you were on cloud nine.
He was mesmerized by you since his first day of school, he wasted no time in asking you for a date -to the disapproval of his new gang and the dismay of most of the girls at the school- you were elated by it but you said that he needed to do a lot more if he wanted you to say yes. It wasn’t that you weren’t oblivious to Billy’s charm but you knew his type and he was definitely not on yours.
Billy didn’t seem more than an aggressive jog and you bore those type of guys, they weren’t stimulating and you had learned to value yourself and your time, more than anything else. So, it took Billy time -with a lot of rejected attempts and multiple pairings on classes- to actually get a yes from you.
And so, you had come to learn that Billy Hargrove was more than he showed and it hit you to the core because you did the same. They were just different acts, both of you were familiar with the fact that people liked to put tags on others, to label them and keep them in a box, they liked making you one dimensional for them to feel comforted in a stupid status quo. And both of you followed swiftly because sometimes is easier to play a role than to be yourself, it’s easier to make people believe you are one thing. Sometimes it was easier to be just a good girl and sometimes it was easier to be just a bully, but you weren’t that and neither was Billy.
Billy Hargrove wore his heart on his sleeve and no one had noticed that, you instead kept it locked in a safe to survive and no one had noticed that.
But Billy noticed your lock and you noticed his sleeve, he understood you and you understood him.
After hours or even whole nights talking to each other, laughing, even crying you finally agreed to go out with him.
“I always want to do whatever you want to do”, he whispered to your lips as he pressed quick pecks. You sighed into his lips; eyes closed in bliss as his lips touched yours. “Pick you at nine?”
You smiled as you heard him and your lips now were chasing his.
…
“See you in an hour or so?”, you asked as you opened the door for Tina’s house, Billy was behind you. Both of you were analyzing the scene in front of you.
There were a lot of people, far more than what you were expecting but it was the last Friday before Thanksgiving break so you kinda got it. Many of the kids that went away for college were coming back to see their families and since Tina’s parties were always a staple of Hawkins High, you knew most of them wouldn’t miss it. So, there it was: an ocean of sweaty and drunk teenagers and young adults having fun and blasting music.
You turned around to see a frown on Billy’s face as he saw the scene while you rolled your eyes. You didn’t really know why he was so opposed to partying when he was always down for any type of rave.
See, although both of you were so similar in many senses, it wasn’t at all the case when you were partying. Billy was the type of guy who liked the attention, he craved it and he found it most of the time in senseless partying. While you, you were the type of girl who liked to be lowkey about your presence at a party, if you had the attention it was from your amazing dancing skills. Otherwise, you liked to spend your parties taking a few shots, dancing, and talking to your friends; nothing more and nothing less. Billy, instead, liked to do his keg stands and playing games, getting a bit more than tipsy.
Most of the time you were together months of your relationship you both had made sacrifices, sometimes Billy wouldn’t do his normal circus act so he could be in a more calm conversation with you, and sometimes you had decided to cheer him when he was doing his keg stands or accomplishing the dares his stupid friends wanted him to do.
And it was fine, except for the fact that you had exploded one Monday a few months ago when you heard the rumors about the past party, especially the rumor about the “Queen of Hawkins” and how everyone was beginning to think that you were nothing more than a pretty thing that Billy wore around his arm, an accessory. You hated it, you hated it so much that you had ended up ranting about it to Billy who had been patient and listened to every single word without saying much.
“I’m fucking captain of the debate team, since when I’m an accessory?”, “I’m running for president of the student council, does it look like I care about being Queen of Hawkins?”, “I’m not clingy or sticking to you all the time, it was just one party!”
And so, you had come up with the party plan. It was really simple: As soon as you got to the party, each one would go and do their thing. Billy would go out and play games while you hang out with Steve and Nancy and Johnathan. If there were any good songs or if you were craving each other presences, you would find each other and would dance for a couple of songs or maybe have a little (long) time out inside any room available where you could moan each other’s name. It had worked on the parties that you had gone to for the last few months and it had been fine, most of the time after you found each other you wouldn’t let go.
Today had to be no different, another party at Tina’s, usual business.
But you knew it wasn’t, Billy turned around to see you with narrowed blue electric eyes, brows bumped together in a scowl and lips pressed together.
“Billy?”
“I’m not really feeling like partying”, he muttered as he sighed and took a hold of your waist and pulled your flesh against his.
Sometimes you were more than sure that Billy’s arms were made perfectly for you, you loved being held by him, and feeling like nothing in the world could hurt you. Being held by his biceps and pressed against him always made your heart skip a bit, you didn’t even think twice as you quickly took a hold of his face and you pressed your lips urgently against his, making you whimper into his lips. It was intoxicating the dance between your lips and tongues, you sometimes even got dizzy after kissing Billy but you were more than happy to get drunk on him rather than on vodka.
But today you wanted to hang out with Nancy, Johnathan, and Steve, you hadn’t been seeing them much since school started again since, well, Billy was a handful.
“I’ll see you later sir”, you whispered as you gave him the last peck and walked away from him with a smile on your lips.
Billy stayed stunned after a few seconds and cursed to himself but he knew that you were in the mood for partying and the least he could do was give you space to be by yourself, to have times with your friends. He didn’t want to admit it but he had taken a lot of your time the past few weeks, he had wanted to take advantage of his father leaving Hawkins for a work trip, so he had spent most of his time buried inside of you or sleeping next to you or laughing with you, etc. And he wanted tonight to be no different, but he also respected you and your wishes. So, although he wasn’t too excited, he managed himself. He quickly threatened his way to get a whole bottle of tequila and went outside where Tommy and Carol were waiting for him already.
“You look stunning!”, Nancy gasped as she saw you, you twirl so they could give a look at your outfit: A tight black leather skirt, military boots, and a cutout band t-shirt from Billy.
Steve and Jonathan cheered for you as you moved your hips and Nancy clapped, while you then twirl her around for her to model her outfit.
“You look stunning all the time!”, you replied as you hugged Nancy.
“That’s indeed true”, Johnathan muttered as he pulled in Nancy for a kiss on her forehead while she wrapped one arm around him, quickly pulling him into a passionate kiss.
Steve rolled his eyes as he got closer to you, “Are we going to dance?”, he whispered in your ear and it made you shiver.
You couldn’t lie that you had a thing for Steve when you were younger than you were less than thrilled when he started dating Nancy but as time passed, your feelings had changed and Steve became just a great friend in your eyes. Although, it didn’t mean that sometimes Billy didn’t get jealous of him and how close you two were. But he had come to accept it, as he should, and Steve also started to deal with Billy by your request since he didn’t really like him after he had dethroned him as King of Hawkins.
“Yes, we are”, you replied and quickly pulled Steve into the living room where everyone else was dancing.
The way you felt the music cruising through your body made you get lost on it, eyes closed and jumping, swaying your hips to the beat, laughing, and smiling all along. Should I stay or Should I go from The Clash was the tenth song you had danced to with Steve and you were sweating from bopping your head to the last bit, throat a little bit sore from screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs.
Steve wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pressed a kiss on the top of your head. “I forgot how good it was to dance with you, Y/L/N”, you nodded without much breath but you turned around to see one of the boys from Billy’s group watching you with malice. The narrowed eyes and puckered lips weren’t anything new for you, especially from his “friends” or followers, but you knew how much they would like to initiate any rumor that could create any drama in Hawkins since they didn’t have anything more exciting to do.
“I’m going to get something to drink”, you muttered as you glared at the loser who had been watching Steve and you, but soon he turned to the patio, where you imagined Billy was.
You rolled your eyes; you knew you had to do damage control with Billy. Although Billy seemed like he had all the confidence in the world, you knew deep down he was insecure thanks to his relationship with his father, and especially, as months had passed by, he was insecure about your relationship sometimes. It seemed to him that you could do so much better and he was perpetually on edge when he thought about you and Steve too much, although he trusted you completely.
And on your part, it wasn’t too different, Billy had girls throwing themselves at him permanently which was always annoying, girls who whispered at him that they would make him feel so much better than you ever did and that they wished he could make them scream. Billy had assured you and showed you that he only had eyes with you, and it did become funny sometimes because if there was someone in love with his girlfriend was Billy Hargrove. But still, sometimes that burning feeling that crept its way your heart and spread it through your body, making you feel like you could spitfire didn’t go away.
Especially not at the moment.
Billy was outside, playing a nice game of beer pong and chugging more beer than you thought he would like tonight, but there he was… with Heather freaking Miller. She was leaning into a flustered Billy as she giggled while he poured the beer on his mouth, a little bit too fast that it made the drink spill all over his naked chest -he always lost some buttons or his shirt at some point in a party-, you imagined that he was a bit tipsy at the moment but you couldn’t help to feel your stomach twisting as you saw Heather pressing a soft kiss to his jaw.
You spun on your heels faster than you could even imagine, not even wanting to watch Billy’s reaction to her kiss and if you had been a bit drunker, you might have been bold enough to start going off at her and Billy. But you weren’t in the mood, to hell if Billy was told something about Steve, whatever.
“You said something?”, a guy in the kitchen asked you, as you leaned on the kitchen island in front of the living room that served as the dance floor, realizing that you had been muttering out loud. There weren’t many people in the kitchen, the great majority of the people were dancing or outside, but there were two boys.
You huffed as you turned around and saw the guy. He had short brown hair and a nice smile as he sipped from his red solo cup. He looked familiar and you remember him being a cheer on after a basketball game while you were a Sophomore at Hawkins High and he was a Senior. He was from an affluent family, you remembered that as well as you might have seen him in one of your parent's Christmas parties, but you weren’t social.
“Do I know you?”, you asked a bit coldly, annoyed still at the image of Heather and Billy.
“Burn!”, another boy close to the one that had just talked to you shouted as he laughed at his friend. You recognized him too, he was also known as a Senior when you were in Sophomore, he wasn’t on any team but he was on the popular crowd.
You vaguely remember the class that had graduated that year, only remembered a few bullying incidents but mostly that they were sexist assholes. You hoped that college had changed them, at least you liked to believe people could mature, but seeing them three years later in a party of their high school didn’t give you much hope.
“I’m Brad”, the boy with short brown hair stated as you sighed and smiled, trying to be as polite as you could taking into account how mad you were. “This is Chad”, he said pointing to his friend.
“Y/N”, you answer as you shook his hand as he had offered it.
He held it for a bit too long and you felt goosebumps erupting on your skin, but they weren’t good goosebumps, the way he was looking at you was way too intently but you figured that he was trying to flirt and score a girl.
“Brad! I just…”, another boy came from the living room with a bottle of tequila in his hand as the three of you turned around to watch him, you took the opportunity and removed your hand from his hold as your eyes began to look for some wine or vodka to take to Steve. “Who’s that?”, the same guy muttered as he got closer to Brad and Chad.
“Shut up, Logan”, Brad rolled his eyes as he saw you reaching for a bottle of vodka, he quickly took it and then handed it to you with a strange smile. “You have to apologize, my friends, they are…”
“Wonderful?”, Logan said with a smirk.
“Charming?”, Chad answer as he seemed to be taking something from his Varsity Jacket, you didn’t manage to see really what he had since Brad quickly placed solo red cups for you to do shots in, blocking the view.
“Annoying”, he stated as he poured a bit of the vodka on two small cups and then passed the bottle to his friends. You smile at the way he said it, the guy had a charm but there was still a hint of something you didn’t like. Something that didn’t add up to his pretty greyish eyes or his sharp jaw. “Want one round?”
You sighed and nodded. At the moment, you only wanted a drink and don’t think a lot about Billy and Heather, you didn’t want to be too mad about it, especially since it was your idea to do a party plan and you left the road wide open for girls like Heather to flirt with Billy.
It felt like it was your fault.
“Sure”
The vodka burned your throat a little bit more than you would imagine but you didn’t care. It tasted okay enough and your eyes simply wondered towards the patio door, in the hopes that Billy might come looking for you but there was no sign of him coming.
“You have a boyfriend?”, you heard Brad asking and you turned around as you passed a hand through your hair. You watched as Brad’s friends began pouring another round of shots with the vodka but your attention went right to Brad again.
“I do, he’s with another girl at the patio”, you muttered angrily as you took a hold of the shot and chugged it right in. The vodka still burned on your throat but it now felt bubbly, still burned a bit more than before but you figured it was because you hadn’t been drinking in a while.
“Ooh”, the two friends shouted and it made you roll your eyes, they weren’t being good company and you tried to snatch the bottle of vodka from the table where they had left it but Brad took it first.
“Let’s do two more rounds, it will make you feel better”, he cooed as he got closer to you.
If this was any other moment, at any other party, you would’ve said no and leave without a bottle and look for Billy. But the blonde hair from Heather on Billy’s shoulder, his laugh, and her lips on his jaw were burned on your head at the moment and you wished that maybe vodka could help you, you wished that angry drinking would be enough to make you feel better.
“Fine”, you answer with a smirk and Brad smiled as well, his friends cheering in the background as you chugged another shot that had been served by you.
It had to be almost four more rounds of shots of vodka -at least you believed but it didn’t taste like vodka after the second- that they had handed to you when you began to feel weird.
It began slowly, the sleepiness taking over your body, spreading from your belly towards your chest, and soon it seemed to get on your head. It didn’t feel bad right away, simply weird. You were never a hard drinker, you had never blackout before and you weren’t planning to tonight. Getting tipsy? Yes, getting drunk? Maybe, but this felt like it was happening faster than what you had anticipated.
You closed your eyes and leaned into the kitchen island for a second, trying to recover your breath to see if that was it, you just needed a little break. But as seconds passed, you felt your muscles getting sleepier and even when your eyes were closed, you felt like you were on a carrousel and it wasn’t stopping.
“You don’t look so good”, you heard Brad said as he wrapped his arm around your waist, which you tried to get off but it seemed as if your muscles were going in slow motion. “You want to go to the bathroom?”
You felt like you could vomit at his questions, it sounded wrong. You shook your head as you opened your eyes and glared at him, motioning for him to let you go and he did, but as you turned around everything began to be blurry.
“Iwanttodance”, you slurred, words tumbling against each other. You began walking towards the living room, trying to get away from the kitchen while you desperately tried to look for Nancy, Johnathan, or Steve.
You felt your head getting dizzier and dizzier as each second passed, your brain seemed to be trying so hard for your limbs to move at the pace that you needed them too but they felt disconnected like there was a short-circuit between them.
You weren’t sure when they had actually disconnected, it had to be a second before you reached the living room by going down simply two steps. It was something you were sure you could accomplish, not even on your worst drunk stories you had been so unaware of your body, you had never felt like that. So, it wasn’t a surprise when you saw the world turning upside down and you felt a sharp pain on the right side of your body, your head crashing on the floor as you closed your eyes from the impact.
You fell, badly.
You whimpered in pain as you felt people’s gaze on you, although you had your eyes closed you could feel people’s presence close to you and you wish you could even stand up but it seemed like nothing worked and you could only motion simple things You heard a couple of people laughing, guessing that maybe you were too drunk and were unable to handle your booze. You felt some girls getting closer to you and asking if you were okay but your words weren’t really words anymore, only mumbles, the pangs of pain still spreading through your torso, hips, and legs while the numbness started to spread as well.
It was even getting hard to keep your eyes open for too long.
Before you knew it, someone was wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you off the ground. You prayed it was Billy or Steve, with Nancy by their side or even a couple of the girls who had been asking if you were okay.
“Seems like she’s ready to go to sleep”
You froze as you heard Brad’s voice and a deep feeling of panic started invading your body. You protested, at least you thought but your words didn’t come out from your mouth, your eyes were still close as the pangs of pain from the fall were disappearing quite quickly, which made you worry.
Brad quickly took a hold of your body and carried you bride-style to god knows where, you suddenly felt your stomach sinking as you realized how weak you were and the fact that you were in the hands of strangers. Sleepiness crawling over your body and anxiety too, everything began to become foggy.
“We’ll take care good care of you” Logan stated as you felt the music farther and farther away.
You whimpered in protest as you opened your eyes as you tried to shimmy yourself out of his hold but it just came as spams on your limps, nothing strong enough and it seemed like they were going through the foyer, towards the door.
“Stop”
Nancy’s voice felt like it had been sent from the sky, you tried to turn your head as quickly as you could and there she was. “Who are you?”, she asked as she got closer to you.
You knew Nancy might be little, she might have been a little mousy when you met her but she was fierce and she could end anyone who came on her way. Such a small girl could raise hell if she decided to and you felt like crying with happiness when you -in a blur- watched her crossed her arms across her chest and glare at the guys she was standing in front of.
“She’s feeling bad”, Brad explained with a shrug but the sassy nature of his answer gave him away to Nancy, “She had a lot to drink and she told us to get her home”
“She has a boyfriend for that”, Nancy replied right away angrily. “And friends that know her”
“We are her friends”, he barked back and it made you jump on your inside.
These guys were aggressive, the way that he answered to Nancy… you felt like tears were pooling in your eyes. This was not okay and panic raised again, flooding your body. You needed Nancy to take you away from their paws, now. You didn’t want to think where this was going if she didn’t manage to stop them.
“Nancy” you managed to mumble and with all the effort you had, you tried to take a hold of her but your arm gave up before you reached her, soon your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your head fell backward.
You were too weak.
Nancy froze for a second with fear as she saw your state, and so hell was loose.
“Get her down now!”, Nancy’s growl made your body tremble, it was so loud that you were hoping that anyone else noticed.
“Fuck you”, Chad replied as you heard a struggle in front of you… they were holding Nancy now as Brad began to move again, your heart sinking
“Her boyfriend is being called right now!”, Nancy yelled as you could hear her struggling while you passed in front of her.
The cold air hit you hard and you cried as you tried to move from Brad’s hold but he wouldn’t budge, they had managed to sneak you and this was the worst-case scenario. Billy was the only thing you thought before your brain began to shut down when you began to drown in the darkness.
“We shouldn’t have given her so many”, Logan muttered as he opened the door of the car that was parked in the front patio of Tina’s house, close to many others.
“Can you just shut up?”, Brad growled as he tightened the hold on your body, and tried to see how he could fit you in the car correctly.
“Maybe it’s better”, Logan muttered as he opened the driver’s door, still talking to himself. “She won’t remember anything”
“WHERE IS SHE?”
The growl coming from the main door from the house shook Brad and Logan to the core. They both turned around to see Billy, exiting the party with Steve and Nancy behind him.
Billy had been trying to get a Heather Miller off his back since he had started to play a beer-pong match, it had all been easy and messing around until Heather had come in and began to linger closer to Billy each time he drank. She had placed a kiss on his jaw when he had barked at her to back off, people began to laugh around them and scream things, Heather seemed to be annoyed by the statement and tried to talk him out of being so aggressive. Billy remained silent and shrugged her off each time she tried to flirt with him again, it was annoying to him and he knew that his friends would take any chance to start a rumor that could affect your relationship. So, the rest of the time he tried to get as far away from Heather as he possibly could, he even flipped her off before Steve had run towards him and ask him to go with him.
Billy felt as if a black hole had grown in his stomach as Steve told him what had happened, that some guys were trying to take you somewhere and that you were barely conscious, that Nancy was trying to hold them back but you needed him now.
Billy wasn’t exactly sure how fast he had arrived, how he didn’t even notice the guy on the floor that Nancy had managed to beat up with a flower vase at the foyer or how he couldn’t hear anything because his heart and breathing were so loud that he could only focus on what he saw.
And there you were: completely limp, head falling from Brad’s arm, eyes rolled back on the back of your head. You seemed so small; it shook Billy.
Sometimes Billy had these gaps in time when he became so mad that he didn’t feel like himself anymore, he could only feel the anger filling his body as the seconds passed. It was almost automatic when his hands formed into fists and he began to growl. You had talked to him about it and had helped him to never lose control again since you began dating, helping him breathe and control his emotions.
But not this time.
Billy yelled as he took Logan first. The guy didn’t even have a second before Billy yanked the keys out of his hands and smashed the boy’s head against the window of the car. Billy didn’t really notice when the window cracked, he only noticed when it broke in front of him as he smashed once again Logan’s head.
Logan fell on the ground with a groan, blood coming out of the right side of his face, laying with the broken glass on the floor. Billy then turned around quickly to go and get you, Brad had already been cornered by Steve and Nancy while Johnathan tried to rip you off from Brad’s hold.
“HEY!”, someone yelled as he pushed Billy making him slam against the car door.
Billy turned around to see Chad, nose already bloody from Nancy’s punch and more coming out of his eyebrow cut thanks to the vase. The guy was already beaten up by Nancy, badly, but Billy didn’t hesitate to beat him to a pulp with his fist. It seemed rather like a gap of time where Billy had no control, as his knuckles slammed against the guy's jaw while he screamed in pain. Chad managed to punch Billy on his ribs but Billy quickly retaliated and knocked him out with a single punch.
Billy’s breathing was too shaken up, he almost couldn’t even hear how Nancy had been telling him to stop as he kept kicking the guy on the ground. It was only until Nancy hit him in the back of his head, rather hard, that he turned around.
“We got her”, Nancy yelled at him as she glared at Billy. She didn’t seem too shaken up, her hands were bloody as well and her eyes seemed steady.
Billy’s eyes traveled to Steve who had you in his arms while Johnathan let Brad fall from his hold against the car, his nose was already bloody, as well as his lips. But at the moment, Billy didn’t care about anything else, he got closer to you so quickly that he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore.
“Y/N”, he whispered as tears began to stream from his face.
You didn’t respond, your eyes with long lashes were closed while your arm was dangling. You were cold, you usually got cold as Billy would work as a heater for you, but right now you were too cold.
It hurt.
Billy swore he had heard something breaking inside of his chest, he sucked in a breath as he pressed your cheek with his palm as if in any moment you would open your eyes again, that you would watch him lovingly and place a kiss on his lips like many times before but you didn’t react, you seemed lost.
It hurt him so much that when he heard a groan coming from the floor, he saw Brad there with barely any real damage on him. Billy felt his muscles tensing up as he walked towards him, ignoring Nancy’s pleas. Billy seemed like a robot as he quickly opened again the door of the car and place Brad’s hand on the edge, without much thought, he shut the door roughly.
“aaaaAAHHH!!”
The painful scream coming from Brad’s lips shocked Nancy and Steve, and even you in your state. The scream had been the only thing that had managed to make you come back from the darkness, you couldn’t really move but your body was screaming for something to happen but your limbs seemed useless.
Billy quickly kneeled and punch Brad again, making his nose bleed even more. The groans and whimpers coming from Brad didn’t bother Billy, it only bothered him when he wrapped one hand around Brad’s neck and he noticed his knuckles already getting purple.
He hated being like this. He knew you would disapprove if you had been there watching him but the rage that he was feeling at the moment, he hadn’t felt it in such a long time that if he thought he remained still, he would burst.
“I see you or your rat friend’s again, and I’ll kill you”, Billy murmured as he let go of Brad’s neck and allowed him to breathe again as he coughed thanks to the pressure Billy had on him.
Billy turned around to see Nancy, Steve, and Johnathan looking terrified, he tried to shake it off and came back to you.
“They must have roofied her”, Johnathan explained as Billy was desperately trying to wake you up.
“Y/N, please are you there?”, Billy couldn’t believe it was his voice, so wobbly and small as he moved your hair from your face and took a hold of you had, begging internally for you to wake up.
You couldn’t believe it was his voice either, you wanted to scream and cry, you wanted to be held by him and feel safe again. But you couldn’t do anything, you could only beg your body to move, nudge, talk, do something.
And it seemed as if it had listened to you for a moment.
“Billy”, the whisper was so faint that Billy wasn’t sure it was real, he stopped dead on his track and saw how your glassy eyes were half opened and Billy felt his shaking hands coming over to your hand.
But then you suddenly gave up, the darkness eating you once again as your eyes rolled to the back of your head once more and you were lying there, emotionless.
Billy felt his body cold.
“Y/N?”, Billy asked as tears streamed down once more. “Baby?”, Billy’s voice was so raw and shaken up that it almost scared Nancy as he looked at her and yelled. “Nancy, what should we do?”
Nancy stayed still for a second, doubting herself but then she walked decidedly towards Steve who was holding your body. “We have to check her breathing and her heartbeat”, Jonathan coming right up helping her to check your vitals, while Billy gave a step back and held your cold hand.
“She’s still breathing, it’s like she fell asleep”, Nancy answered.
“We have to take her to a hospital”, Steve stated as he held you tighter on his arms.
Billy panicked and shook his head, knowing exactly that -even though your parents had come to accept your relationship- they wouldn’t waste a second if he gave them a reason to break you guys up.
“Her parents would know; you know they would never let her see me again”, Billy explained to Steve, his eyes pleading with him not to do it because he knew what the consequences were and he might ruin what made you and Billy happy.
Steve didn’t like Billy, but he had never seen him like this or anyone for that matter. He had never seen such true desperation; he had never seen someone show such raw emotions for someone. He didn’t like Billy, but you did and Steve knew that Billy was everything you wanted.
“Fuck, what should we do?”, Johnathan sighed as Billy began taking you from Steve’s arms.
Billy remained a second as he adjusted you in his arms, his arms around you securely as he watched you carefully. You seemed so pale and fragile, and he hated it because he knew that this wasn’t you. He couldn’t get out of his head how scared you must’ve been before you went out, what they had done to you. He wanted to take you to the hospital, he knew it was the most appropriate way but he also knew that he really couldn’t and at that moment he had a flashback to California when people took more pills than they should.
“She’s going to have to throw this up”. Billy stated as he tried to wipe the tears with his shoulder as he took you into the house, as quickly as he could.
“Billy, what are yo-”, Nancy protested as she followed him but Billy was on a mission,
“She couldn’t have taken them too long ago”, he muttered as he entered Tina’s house.
He was shaking as he muttered to himself deliriously: you are going to be okay; you are going to be okay; you are going to be okay. He pulled you closer to his chest and his eyes urgently tried to find a bathroom, people were gathering around him at the entrance of the party, watching Billy splattered with blood and knuckles purple with you limp on his arms. Billy didn’t care about the people as he tried to see where was it better to take you, he even wondered if the kitchen was right but he knew you wouldn’t want anyone to see you or him in that state.
Tina ran towards him, as she was about to speak Billy interrupted her.
“Tina!” He screamed, his voice was raw and torn -the urgency in his electric blue eyes seemed almost psychotic-, she shook at his scream. “Bathroom with a shower”
“Oh my god, what happened?”, Tina squealed as she tried to get closer but Billy stepped back.
“Bathroom”, he growled once more startling Tina.
“Upstairs in my room! Turn to the left”
Billy said nothing as he ran upstairs, adjusting you in his arms as he followed Tina’s instructions. He let out an all-encompassing sigh of relief as he entered the bathroom.
“Come on, come on baby”, he whispered as he placed you on the tub and then turned on the shower. The lukewarm water began to wash your legs and lower abdomen as Billy hurried and placed himself behind you.
He made sure that you were well position, laying on his chest so he could sit you, and then he began to place his fingers on your throat. But nothing was happening, you weren’t reacting as he tried to place his fingers on the right spot for you to throw up whatever they had given to you.
Tears began to fall from his face, a part of him glad they were being masked with the drops of water. Billy felt like he wanted to puke himself as he gazed at the bottom of the bathtub and realized the blood was being mixed with the water -blood from the guys that he had beaten up and his own coming from his knuckles-.
He shivered at the thought of how badly he had reacted and what would you think of him, but he quickly snapped out of it as he continued to cry for you.
“Y/N please”, he cried. “Baby please, come on”.
Billy’s voice seemed so broken and raw, his pleas could be heard by Steve and Jonathan who were outside the bathroom while Nancy was talking to Tina outside her bedroom, convincing her not to enter until you were okay.
But you weren’t okay, nothing was happening and Billy snapped.
“pLEASE! Y/N”, it seemed as if his screamed had ripped through his chest as he held you, and once more, he placed his fingers on your throat in one last attempt.
The gagging was like music to his ears, how your body finally reacted and you raised a bit from his chest with the help of Billy and you began to throw up. You felt like if you were getting out every organ inside of you as your body spammed as you threw up with Billy’s face bury on your neck as he held you.
It wasn’t until you finally stopped after a minute of throwing up everything you could, that you realized that the fogginess and darkness that had trapped you were leaving, your head was clearing again and Billy felt like he could breathe. It wasn’t like you were completely fine, your breaths were still raggedy but they were stronger than before and you could raise your head for a second, hold yourself.
You could hold yourself enough to throw up once more, another round, but this time it felt more like a reaction of the fear that you felt from those guys. You didn’t want anything inside of you, nothing from that night, the thought of those guys made you sick.
It wasn’t until you were unable to throw up anything else, you turn around softly, still feeling woozy.
And there he was, the only one you had ever wanted.
Billy’s hair was wet, the streams of water were still falling from his body but you recognize his tears as well. His blue electric eyes that had always been heaven to you, were red from crying and his usually tan skin seemed as white as a paper, completely pale, he looked terrified.
Indeed, Billy was terrified but he tried not to show it as he caressed your hair and help you lay more comfortably on his chest. It was only when your eyes connected and you took a big breath that you began to cry. The tears were streaming without control from your eyes and it seemed like before, you just wanted to feel empty and clean and safe. Billy held you as close to him as he could while you sob.
He kissed your head, he kissed the back of your neck and your hands as you whimpered and tried to hold anything from him, the craving of him becoming stronger every second.
“Hold me”, you slurred and Billy nodded, wrapping his arm around your body as you cuddle against him while being wash with the water.
“I’m so sorry”, Billy whispered as he rocked you back and forth. “I’ll never leave again”
His voice sounded so truthful that you began to think that he meant something for good, so permanently that it made your heart skip a bit but you didn’t want to say anything, you simply nodded and leaned into him even more, burying yourself against his chest.
“I love you”, he whispered.
#Billy Hargrove#billy hargrove smut#billy hargrove x female reader#billy hargrove fic#billy hargrove aesthetic#billy hargrove x reader#billy hargrove fanart#billy hargrove imagine#billy hargrove headcanons#billy hargrove au#billy hargrove angst#billy hargrove fanfiction#billy hargrove fan fiction#billy hargrove fluff#billy hargrove masterlist#billy hargrove x y/n#dacre montgomery#dacre montgomery x reader#stranger things x reader#stranger things fanfiction
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happy getting hitched day! 1.9k, (sort of) ft. this
Most days of the year, Sam's the optimist.
It doesn't usually fall on Dean to keep the spirits up in times of war anymore. Or worse, loss. And Dean, well, he thinks himself as enough of an in-the-moment kinda guy to not wallow when everything's not going to shit, right friggin' then.
Sam, on the other hand?
Beacon of light when there's a little Hell to raise, harbinger of hope when there's a God to defeat.
And losing his shit entirely when there's an aisle to walk down, leading to the girl of his dreams and the best decision of his life.
"Dean."
Dean fusses around Sam in compact little semicircles fixing his already perfect tux, while his brother panics in a way Dean only remembers from before the kid stopped having to look up at Dean.
But he's looking down at Dean now, wide-eyed and sweaty like the very first time Dean saw him off on a date when he was fourteen — with supple, bullshit eighteen-year-old advice, he bets — and thirty eight year old Sammy is, clear as day, losing his shit.
"Yeah?" Dean channels all the calm he's got into it.
"What if I forget my vows?"
"Well," Dean lifts his eyebrows, and picks up a linen thread from Sam's shoulder that caught his eye. "First of all, would kinda serve you right for writing six pages worth of them."
"Stop being a —"
"Front and back, Sammy. Front and back."
"Dean." Sam glares, more indignant than mad. Dean rolls his eyes, and Sam continues, replacing the look immediately with a troubled one that reflects the dilemma in his voice. "I mean, I've learned them, of course. At least I think I have — I practised twice last night, once this morning — but what's to stop me from fumbling, or forgetting —"
"Your gigantic nerd brain?"
"This is serious." Sam frowns, levelling another look at Dean like he's the one with the stellar proverbial cold feet. "Jerk."
"Bitch." Dean throws back immediately, and pauses in his shuffling around for effect. "Also, no. No, it isn't." And Sam goes to argue with a bitchface already surfacing, but Dean keeps going, sterner, more confident. This is something he's been doing all his life. He can probably talk the kid down from a panic high like this in his sleep. "And you're going to stop being a dumbass, and listen to what I'm saying."
"'M not a dumbass." Sam mutters.
"Yeah, you are." Dean shrugs, completely nonchalant, and Sam laughs in spite of himself, nervous, but a welcome improvement as he waits for Dean to proceed. (Big brother voice never lets Dean down.)
He's still got it.
"Here's what you're going to do. You're going to get out there," Dean continues, smiling now. "You're going to hold Eileen's hand while the minister marries you. And approximately ten to fifty minutes later, when he asks you to, you're going to look into her eyes, and you're going to say your vows. All stupid six pages of them, verbatim, 'cause I know you, and you're going to that's why."
"They're not stupid."
Dean hums in consideration, then smirks. "There's bravery in acceptance. They probably are."
"Cas called them exquisite." Sam crosses his arms, and Dean uses the opportunity to pick up a hair from his sleeve with a disapproving look.
(Dean had offered to give him a haircut seventeen times and gotten turned down, and now Sam was shedding.)
"Yeah, well, he's a walking-talking scrabble board with good manners, what is he supposed to do?" Dean rolls his eyes but instead of the expected response of Sam snarking back at him, bitchfacing him or something, Sam sighs.
The air thickens with something that's probably a bigger deal than having to wing a couple paragraphs of page three of the vows.
Dean watches Sam fidget with the buttons on his cuff.
"How did you know, Dean?" Sam asks, subdued, after a pause. "How did you know that Cas wasn't — that Cas wasn't making a horribly wrong decision."
Dean's almost halfway to making a joke about the other shoe but he stops himself.
Because this?
This, he gets.
This feeling of thinking — knowing — you're not good enough, that you aren't right for the one you love, that you're somehow deceiving everything that your life has stood as proof of, in allowing someone else to bind themselves to you, forever, when you know that everyone who's ever meant something to you has lost, and died, and hurt.
And that is exactly why he also knows what to say.
"Because I trust him, Sammy."
Sam's eyes start glazing over. "I trust her too. I just, I'm just so scared —"
Dean winces at his words.
(That's Sam, but it's Sam in Dean's shoes. It was Dean's job — for better or for worse — to keep him safe. And he's failed, failed repeatedly, and now Sam — well, he's as broken as Dean.)
"I love her too much for anything to go wrong, Dean, and something — no, everything, always goes wrong." Sam grits his teeth, and Dean puts his hand on Sam's shoulder.
Squeezes. "I get it. I swear to you, I do. But I also promise that you might regret the things we've done, and the things that have been done to us, but you're never going to regret this."
Sam nods jerkily, eyes downcast.
"And I get being scared. Hell, I was more scared than you the entire week, dude. But you know how — and why, I pushed through?" Sam looks up again. "Because at the end of all of this, there's something more important than the promises of eternal happiness, and forever, and the Celine Dion lyrics I know you've stuffed in your vows. There's them. The ones we love."
Dean swallows.
"And who love us too, because our fucked up heads be damned, I've seen the way she looks at you, Sammy." Sam's face breaks into a small, wet smile. "So you better believe she does."
"I do." Sam slowly nods, again, eyes brimmed with tears.
(Probably about to start spilling. The only consolation for Dean is that at least his tears don't fall. Means as long as he doesn't mind a blurry view of everything, he might as well ignore their existence like he means it.)
"There, was that so hard?" Dean laughs instead, although it's weak until Sam joins in, surprised, and only then registering the words he just spoke.
"Thank you, Dean."
Is all he says, and anything Dean might've wished to say (or wisecrack) back at him is dismissed immediately because he's being pulled into a full Winchester hug by his door-sized little brother, and all he can do then is hold onto Sam as tight as he's holding him, and hold on.
(Because they made it.
They found free will, they found love, and they found their happy ending.)
Because Sammy's getting married today.
And they don't just get to be okay anymore. They get to be happy.
Sam doesn't pull back from the hug for at least a whole minute, but Dean doesn't mind, because the tears welling up in his eyes are gone when he finally smiles at Dean, earnest. "I'm —" He starts to say, but gets interrupted by Cas walking up to them with a cluster of carnations in his hand, wearing a rich navy blue tux (the same as Dean's) and a wide smile.
"Hope I didn't interrupt anything," Cas beams, knowing exactly what he walked in on, and Sam shakes his head courteously while Dean battles the weirdly overwhelming need to kiss him right there — Cas is almost ridiculously beautiful when he's happy.
(He doesn't, though.
Cause he and Sam may've just had a moment but it's not like that means he'd be any less likely to be a pain in the ass about urgently requiring brain bleach and therapy, if Dean did.)
Cas carries on.
"Actually, Eileen's friend, Cara, brought her flowers and she suggested I should bring some to you."
"A corsage." Dean realizes out loud, beginning to grin at once, while Sam resorts to ducking his head like an overgrown teenage girl on her way to prom. Doesn't mean that Dean absolutely doesn't put on his best chickflick Dad voice (after he's taken over pinning the flowers to Sam's pocket from Cas, cause he was doing it wrong) and pat the corsage when he says, "Get 'er home by ten."
"The dynamics of that are all wrong." Sam points out with a traditional Sam smirk, and yeah, he's okay.
"The dynamics of your face are all wrong."
"Great comeback, yeah." Sam snorts, and Cas smiles. "Points for effort. I think."
"Whatever, you're the one wearing flowers right now."
"Dean, you wore an ascot on our wedding day."
"Ascot trumps flowers!"
"No, it doesn't." Sam bitchfaces, and Dean turns to Cas, and —
"No, it doesn't."
And Sam lets out a victorious "Hah!", and high-fives a (only slightly) confused looking Cas before pulling him into a sasquatch-sized hug as well, while Dean rewards the entire ordeal with a heartfelt eyeroll and absolutely doesn't look on at two of the most important people in his life while he pretends to be bristled about being ganged up against on his special day as Best Man.
Cas and Sam separate sooner than Dean and he did, and just in time for Jack to poke his head out the church door and remind them they're ready.
Then, Cas leaves to get Eileen, with another big smile and a signed Congratulations at Sam, and a fleeting cheek-kiss for Dean.
Then, Sam and Dean get in position behind the door and Sam refixes his tie.
(Then, Dean has to stage-whisper "Jack!" about seven times before the kid realizes he's being cued — the band had just started playing, he makes it a point to try to explain to Dean afterwards — and the great, wooden doors finally swing open to reveal a beautiful white aisle, and dozens of their friends and family smiling from both sides of it.)
And then, Dean finally walks the kid he's raised and the brother he's saved the World with countless times, down the aisle.
*
(Sam only messes up once in his vows. It's the last verse of Thank You, by Celine Dion.
Rumor has it, it was intentional.
Something about the first time they met.
Dean tells Sam, "You're welcome", the next time he sees him.)
#happy saileen day#dean winchester pov#i just wanted to write a nervous sam before walking down the aisle scene and it turned into an actual fic from dean's point of view so ���#saileen wedding#sam winchester being sam winchester#eileen leahy#deancas#background destiel#bluefirecas#userpris#usersila#holmesemrys#tearsofgrace#userstarry#rambleoncas#userdori#oh writing my writing
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Sleep
Pairing: Namjoon x Reader
Word Count: 2,300+
Genre: fluffy + angst (because I am clearly stressed studying for my final exams, and I am projecting that into my writing) + HYBE employee from America falling for Joonie b/c who wouldn’t
Sleep wouldn’t come. She tossed and turned for a couple of hours before realizing it was futile with how fast her mind was turning over possible scenarios, worries, and anxieties one after the other. She sighed, pulling back her covers and bringing her laptop from the nightstand on top of her comforter. If she couldn’t sleep, she would at least get some work done for tomorrow.
Yawning, she opened her computer, logging in and sorting through the emails she had ignored since getting home from the HYBE offices. If something was really urgent, she would get a call. She looked over the text with glazed eyes, fighting the urge to go back to sleep, knowing she would feel wide awake as soon as her head hit the pillow again.
The truth is, she kept thinking of him. The thoughts kept streaming in, refusing to let her rest or even work. Today had hurt. It had felt like someone was laughing in her face at the sick cosmic joke the universe had played on her, forcing her to deal with her growing and overwhelming feelings for someone she could never have.
A new hire in the public relations department of the label falling for the leader of the biggest band in the world? It had disaster written all over it. Which is exactly what she told Namjoon. He had laughed, saying she was being paranoid, that they weren’t doing anything wrong by hanging out, getting closer, but she knew better. She wasn’t laughing. And by the end of their conversation today, he wasn’t either. Instead, he was looking at her like she had slapped him in the face, ruining any chance of a normal relationship between them.
“Ha, normal,” she thought with a slight, sardonic chuckle. Like anything involving this situation could be classified as normal. She knew how she felt–there was nothing normal about that considering their situation. Two people from different sides of the world, the employee-employer aspect of it all…not to mention the fact that he was a beloved Idol and completely untouchable. It could never work, she knew that. So why was he being so stubborn? He was fighting her every step of the way, telling her that the way they felt about each other warranted at least trying to be together. But it wasn’t that easy. If they didn’t work out, well, easy enough for him to move on and forget this ever happened. But, for her, it meant career devastation.
“But what if it did work out,” Y/N whispered to herself, letting the warm feeling of possibility wrap around her like a hug. She didn’t let the sensation linger, squashing it with a shake of her head as she began to furiously type to try and distract herself from the broken record that was her head versus her heart.
Her phone began to softly buzz on the nightstand next to her. She glanced at the time on her computer - 1:04 a.m. A little late for even an emergency client call. She reached for the phone, answering before checking the name on the screen.
“This is Y/N,” she said, putting on her best professional tone despite her current state of being tucked into bed in her pajamas.
“Y/N.” She knew right away she made a mistake answering the phone.
“Namjoon,” she whispered into the receiver. “What’s - what’s going on? Are you alright?” She shook her head with worry, assuming the only reason he could be calling at this hour after the way the day had transpired was for an emergency.
“Yes, no, well, technically yes,” Namjoon said. It sounded like he was on a busy street. Not hard considering her location in downtown Seoul, but he was clearly outside rather than calling from his home with the rest of BTS.
“Why are you calling me? It’s late, Namjoon,” Y/N said, not really knowing what to say. Alarm bells were ringing in her head, but she needed to know he was really okay before hanging up.
“I know, I - I’m outside,” Namjoon said. Y/N felt her breath catch, realizing the noisy street in the background was her street. She got up like a shot, keeping the phone to her ear as she rushed to the window, pushing the curtain to the side and peering out, seeing a bundled up Namjoon on the phone outside of her apartment building door. He was wearing a black hat, mask covering the lower half of his face, glasses perched on his nose–an attempt to look inconspicuous. He seemed to sense someone’s eyes on him, looking up at her window. She reeled back from the window, tripping over a nearby chair in her haste.
“Fuck,” Y/N swore under her breath, gaining her balance.
“Y/N, please,” Namjoon whispered. She knew he had seen her, but she needed another 30 seconds to gather herself before she could really, truly wrap her head around the situation. It was late. He was here. “Y/N?” Namjoon said her name like a question, wondering if he had lost her.
“I’m here. I - I’ll buzz you up,” Y/N said, grabbing a sweatshirt out of her top drawer to pull over her loose t-shirt and shorts to try and cover up at least some of herself. She counted backwards from ten, knowing exactly how long it would take him to get in the door and up the stairs until...
Two knocks on the door broke her out of her dreamlike state. She tiptoed to the door, opening it slowly, taking in the sight before her. She hadn’t seen him since their fight, and, honestly, she assumed she really would never see him like this again. Frazzled, hair messed up from anxiously running his fingers through it again and again.
He bore his eyes into her so intently she looked down at a worn spot on the floor to avoid them. She saw one of his feet step forward toward her, and she instinctively stepped back away from him. He stopped. She looked up. He looked - hurt. Hurt that she had stepped away from him. Hurt that she was so clearly uncomfortable with the situation. The easy way they used to talk to each other, laugh with each other in the hallways outside of his studio - it was gone. He wanted so desperately to get it back, see the glimmer in her eyes right before she hit him with a sarcastic comeback, watch her cheeks get red when he teased her. He craved it, that comfort, that familiarity.
She spoke first.
“Namjoon, what are you doing here?” She knew she needed to be direct - get to the point so he could leave and she could get back to pretending everything was fine–normal, even.
“I couldn’t leave things the way we left them today. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about everything I wanted to say but didn't. I felt like, well, I felt like I lost you. And I couldn’t stomach that. I just couldn’t,” Namjoon said quietly. They were still standing in her doorway. Y/N felt tears well up in her eyes. She blamed exhaustion. She took a deep breath before turning away, walking toward the kitchen. He took it as an invitation to come inside, closing and locking the door behind him as he took off his coat. He heard the kettle start to hiss with the sound of boiling water and smiled - tea. Of course she was making tea. Her way to cope with stressful situations, with emotional coworkers, was always to make them tea.
Namjoon shuffled into the kitchen, hands in his pockets, mask and jacket now removed, as he watched her work, grabbing two mugs from the cabinet and popping tea bags into each of them. The kettle started to get louder, causing her to jump slightly at the interruption to the otherwise silence throughout her apartment. She poured the water slowly, knowing that, when it was done, she would have to look at him again. When she couldn’t avoid it anymore, she turned, handing him a mug.
“Here,” she said simply, passing him and heading to her couch, sitting on the corner of it and curling her feet under her. Namjoon followed her lead yet again, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. He felt like he was a mile from her instead of a few feet. He waited.
“I don’t like the way we left things either,” Y/N said. Namjoon turned his head to her, eyes wide with anticipation and hope. She didn’t return his gaze. “But,” his heart sank, “I can’t change my mind. This is the way things have to be.” She took a long sip of tea, shivering at the contact with hot liquid.
“You can’t, or you don’t want to?” Namjoon said, realizing what she had really said.
Y/N looked at him shocked, realizing she had slipped up in her argument - she might be trying to fight this rationally, but her heart clearly wasn’t all the way in it.
“I - I don’t know,” Y/N said, defeated.
“Yes, you do,” Namjoon encouraged, putting his mug down on the coffee table. He turned to her fully now, refusing to break eye contact with her. “You just don’t want to admit it to yourself because then it will all be real. All the late-night phone calls when we’re stressed, the meals in my studio together. All of it.”
Her eyes got wide and her mouth opened slightly before she quickly shut it and composed herself.
“If it’s real, we’ll both just end up getting hurt, and you know that. You can’t sit here and pretend it’s all going to be okay. Because it’s just - it’s just not,” Y/N suddenly felt more tired than she had all night, dropping her head into her hands and covering her face with her shaking fingers. She felt a tug on her right hand, Namjoon’s warm fingers circling hers as he pulled both hands away from her face. He got up from the couch, kneeling in front of her. She looked up slightly, meeting him eye-level in front of her. He put their joined hands in her lap, stroking the back of her hand subconsciously with her thumb, comforting her.
“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not going anywhere before you believe it?” Namjoon asked. “It doesn’t matter if it gets complicated or difficult or messy. I will be here for you. I will fight for us.” The exasperation, love, and his own exhaustion were written in his eyes as he scanned hers for reassurance that she felt the same way - that she knew she couldn’t keep going on denying what felt right.
“How can you be so sure?” Y/N asked quietly. He let out a breath, gripping her hands tighter as he brought his face closer to hers.
“Because I’m in love with you. I love you, Y/N,” Namjoon whispered. He saw the emotion flicker across her face, tears fill her eyes. He didn’t have any other words - he grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her, more passionately than he had ever kissed her. He poured every ounce of love and emotion into that kiss, wanting her to know and to feel exactly how he felt. She hesitated at first before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer, his own dropping down around her waist and bringing their bodies as close as possible given their position.
Y/N pulled back first, trying to catch her breath. He looked at her expectantly, hoping she would let him hear the words he so badly wanted - no, needed - to hear.
“Namjoon, I love you, too,” Y/N whispered into the small space between them. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of her chest, finally being able to say those three words to the man that had entered every part of her soul and refused to leave. The man in front of her who was smiling bigger than she had ever seen. He stood up, grabbing her right hand and bringing her to stand in front of him. Then, he grabbed her and spun her around, both of their laughter filling her apartment. After all of the tension, the stress of the day - it felt like the pieces were falling into place again.
He put her back on her feet, looking down at her with the most love and adoration. Her cheeks were tinged pink from laughter, her lips slightly swollen from their kissing. He had never seen her look so beautiful.
“What are we going to do?” Y/N asked, her joy from their mutual admissions of love being replaced with worry. Her forehead scrunched down slightly in worry. He kissed her on the forehead, then both cheeks, then the corner of her mouth, before placing a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. He pulled back, placing his forehead on hers.
“We’ll figure it out - together,” he said simply, confidently. He felt her nod slightly in affirmation against his head, his eyes closing as he just took in this moment between them. Hell, he had waited so long, he needed to just soak it in.
He felt her take his hand in hers, opening his eyes to look at the woman he loved. She led him to her bed, climbing in under the covers while he took off his shoes before climbing in next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, smiling as he felt her head nuzzle into his chest, body forming perfectly to his side. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. Y/N felt Namjoon’s breathing slow down slightly.
“I love you,” he whispered into her hair.
“I love you, too,” she responded, snuggling closer to him, closing her mind to the stress that was to come, knowing that Namjoon would be by her side when it did. His arms tightened around her as they both fell asleep. It was the best night of sleep they both had gotten in a long time.
#bts fluff#bts angst#reader x namjoon#bts namjoon#namjoon imagine#bts imagine#bts imagines#bts#bts drabble#bts x reader#kim namjoon#bangtan#namjoon fic#bts fic
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WOAH WOAH is your MHA reqs open?? So I wanted to request a Todoroki x Reader Angst where Todoroki sees his s/o getting stabbed by a villain with countless sharp spears like in Chiaki’s death video in danganronpa along with 1-A and just loses it? I’m sorry I’m craving for angst rn ✨✨ also love your writing and remember to stay safe <33 💕💗
My requests are open yes!! I have actually missed receiving them (and tbf I’m prolly not getting them because I’m doing daily updates on History of Us hahaha). So thanks for the request anon. I’m also really touched that you love my writing 🥰 I hope this lives up to your impression of me!
I had never seen danganropa but I just looked up what you were talking about and w o w I am in ✨pain✨ 🥲 I’ve got you anon. It’s going to hurt but I got you. Did I drag out (y/n)’s last words? Yes. Would they realistically already have died before saying all that I have them say? Probably. But this is fanfic and if movie writers can do it then goddamn it so can I!
CW for angst, somewhat graphic description of major character injury and death (reader), non-major character death, and canon typical violence
Nothing has been the same since the fall of the hero commission and the loss of faith in the Symbol of Peace’s generation of heroes. It’s been two years since Shigaraki wreaked havoc and Dabi exposed Endeavor’s crimes. As pros unused to that level of violence retired or quit, hero class students have been forced to step up and fill in the spaces they left behind. As a result, even as their faith in the pros waned, the public started to see the students as a beacon of hope. All Might, they whisper, spoiled the current generation of heroes. They argue that Endeavor is now too old to keep up, that Hawks and Mirko are too burdened by their mentors’ failures, and all the heroes aged in between are too used to the relative peace of the golden era to be effective. These current students though? Students like the famous UA hero class A, now third years who’ve already seen so much? They are the new hope. They’d grown up in the fires of a post-symbol of peace era and as such they are the only ones who can drag society out of it. It would be flattering if not for the overwhelming pressure that comes along with it.
Shoto thinks he would have been crushed beneath that pressure if not for you.
The two of you had started growing close your first year during the provisional license exam make up classes. Spending so much additional time together over the weekend had allowed Shoto to slowly open up to you until a beautiful friendship had blossomed. Even still, both of you had secretly yearned for something more. It was only after the destruction of Jaku City and the Todoroki family secrets were aired to the whole of Japan that the two of you finally acted on your feelings. You’d been such a source of support for him afterwards that eventually he hadn’t been able or willing to hold back any longer and had confessed his feelings to you late one night in the dorms. The two of you have been together ever since and fully intend to open a hero agency together after graduation. He knows the two of you are still young but sometimes when he looks at you with your blinding smile or when you’re sleeping peacefully beside him, he swears he can hear wedding bells. If the civilians of Japan can consistently forget how young you all are as they urge you to take over for the pros, then it seems only fair he should be able to forget too.
His mother was ecstatic when he asked her about engagement rings. Endeavor had said it was too early, that marriage is too large a commitment to make at 18 years old, but Shoto insisted and eventually a compromise was reached. He’ll wait until after graduation but then he’s determined to make you his forever and always.
It’s an otherwise normal Saturday afternoon in the dorms when Iida and Momo get an urgent distress signal to gather the entirety of the class and head into the city. A large group of ragtag criminals, determined to become the next League of Villains, is terrorizing Musutafu and the number of casualties is climbing rapidly. The other heroes usually responsible for that area had been called away to handle a different disaster and all attempts made by the civilians to defend themselves had only led to more chaos. The entire class mobilized in seconds. Calls like this aren’t uncommon now. The villains have been banding together more and their bloodlust seems to have grown exponentially with civilians’ continued lack of trust in the current pros. By the time you all arrive to the scene there’s no time to waste. “Be careful,” you tell Shoto, carefully running a hand through his hair before resting it on his cheek. He brings his hand up to cover yours before promising, “I will.” He presses a kiss to your palm but before he can do more Bakugo sharply barks “Hurry it up lovebirds we got a fucking job to do!” before racing off. You both know he’s right. “I love you,” you tell Shoto. “Love you too,” he promises before you both steel yourselves and then take off into the fray.
It’s an absolutely grueling battle. Every time someone takes one villain down, another comes to take their place. “Pinky! On your left!” you call out, causing your classmate to sharply turn. Mina just manages to dodge a punch one of the villains throws her way and swiftly counteracts with an attack of her own, calling out a thanks. There’s no time to breathe though and almost as soon as you’re done warning Mina, you have to dive in to keep another villain off Ojiro’s back. It’s chaotic but slowly you’re starting to pick away the forces as many of the remaining villains start fleeing. Once it looks like they’ve all retreated you instinctively look for Shoto, having not seen him since the fighting had properly started. You catch sight of him and heave a sigh of relief. You call out his name to catch his attention and although he initially offers you a soft smile you notice his eyes suddenly widen. “(Y/n) behind you!” he calls out.
Every moment after that seems to happen in slow motion.
You turn around just in time for a spear to fire clean through your shoulder, knocking you off balance. You start to fall backwards but before you can even hit the ground at least a dozen more rise up from the asphalt and impale your body. You hear Shoto’s broken cry of your name but it sounds so distant to you. After a moment stuck in place the spears suddenly drop back into the ground. Shoto is next to you in a second, pulling your broken body close as you bleed out. One of your other classmates tries to call for medical support but all he can focus on is you and the sheer amount of blood you’re losing. Shoto knows his training. He knows that when a victim has been stabbed it’s crucial to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, but how can he when there’s so many fucking wounds. “You’re going to be ok. You’re going to be ok. You’re going to be ok.” He says it over and over again like a mantra. It’s both a plea to you and a desperate attempt to deny the harsh reality that the love of his life is bleeding out in his arms.
You press a bloody hand to his cheek, looking lovingly up at the man you’d do anything for, and shush him quietly. “Sho,” you rasp, voice already weak as your body tries and fails to cope with your injuries. “Don’t,” he warns. “Sho, baby, look at me,” you try again but he shakes his head, shutting his eyes tightly as tears start to run down his cheeks. “Please?” you ask and he can’t deny you, never could, so he opens his eyes and looks down at your glossy ones as you fight to stay awake just a little bit longer. “There they are. I always did love your eyes,” you tell him wistfully as your thumb strokes his cheek, smearing your blood there, though you don’t seem to notice. “You can’t leave me. You have to be ok,” he whispers but you shake your head. You can already feel yourself fading and with medical attention still several minutes out at least you know there’s no fixing this. “I need you to promise me something,” you tell him. “Anything,” he replies immediately and it brings a sad smile to your blood stained lips. “Promise you’ll find someone else after me,” you say and the scandalized look on his face would have probably made you laugh under different circumstances. “You’ve got too much love to give to let it die with me,” you tell him but he shakes his head again. “I could never love anyone else like I love you,” he swears and he means it with every fiber of his being. You chuckle wetly. “You always were stubborn. Fine, then promise to never forget me,” you compromise, tears welling in your own eyes now too. “I couldn’t even if I tried,” he swears before leaning down to press one last kiss to your lips. He can taste the tang of iron and feel your tears and his mingling on your cheeks. “I love you,” he whispers against your lips as he pulls away, but for the first time since he first said the words to you, you don’t say them back. “(Y/n)? Baby, I love you,” he tries again, pulling back to look at you properly now. Your eyes remain shut, your hand falling limp from his cheek, and when he looks to your chest the rise and fall of it has ceased.
Devastation claws up through him like a rabid animal, tearing him apart as his whole world shatters around him. He feels his grief like a physical ache in his chest, radiating out to each of his limbs as if every cell of his body is violently rejecting the fact that you’re gone. “Todoroki-kun?” Midoriya asks cautiously, putting a gentle hand on Shoto’s shoulder. Shoto’s head snaps up as he cradles you closer, as if scared your body will be taken away from him too. Before Midoriya can say whatever he was going to, Denki’s voice cuts through the tense silence. “I got him!” he crows, shoving the villain down to the ground in front of his classmates. Shoto’s eyes land on the villain and instantly his grief twists into a searing rage. He gently lays your body down but his eyes are cold and lethal as he stares down the man that took you away from him. Midoriya realizes what’s happening a beat too late and by the time he reaches out to grab Shoto, the grief stricken man has already launched himself at the villain and grasped hold of him. His right hand closes around the man’s throat, ice wrapping around it like a vice grip. He’s vaguely aware of his classmates calling his name but he doesn’t care. This man stole the love of his life from him. For that he will pay. Before Todoroki can finish the job he’s suddenly being yanked back by Midoriya and Bakugo. “Let go of me!” he demands as he fights against their hold, ignoring their warnings and empty platitudes. He manages to wrench his left arm free for a brief moment and that’s all he needs. His flames shoot out, preventing Midoriya from getting a good hold of him again, and the man who murdered you goes up in flame. His howls of pain echo around the buildings around them but the sound is music to Shoto’s ears. Let him suffer. It’s a fate he deserves.
His classmates watch on in stunned horror until the villain is burned down to ash. As his flames die out so too does all the fight seem to drain from Shoto as the crushing grief returns. Bakugo let’s him go once it’s clear he’s not a threat anymore and Shoto uses his freedom to drag himself back over to your lifeless body. It’s not fair. You’re so young. He’s so young. Why was this fight even you all’s responsibility in the first place? He’s been excitedly planning his proposal to you for weeks. Now he’ll have to plan a funeral. The thought makes him physically ill and he has to turn to the side as bile climbs up his throat and he retches onto the asphalt beside him.
How is he supposed to go on without you?
Midoriya returns a hand to his shoulder as the paramedics finally arrive. It’s too late. Far too late. One of them approaches cautiously and like a dog protecting his master Shoto immediately lashes out. “Don’t you fucking touch them,” he warns, eyes cold and voice lethal. The paramedic jerks backwards, his hands up in surrender, as he cautiously looks to the other class A students for advice. They have none. They’ve never seen Todoroki like this. They can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going through. It’s Eijirou who steps up in the end. He approaches Shoto carefully, as if his classmate is a feral animal, before kneeling down to his level. “They need to take (y/n) to the hospital on that stretcher over there,” Kirishima tells him carefully, jerking his head in the direction of the waiting ambulance. “Can you carry them there for the paramedics?” he asks. Shoto stares at Kirishima blankly as if trying to process his words before slowly nodding. “Ok. Let’s go then, yea?” Kiri asks. Another nod in response before Shoto carefully gathers you into his arms. He ignores the way your body has already started to go cold as he carries you over to the stretcher. He tries to pretend they’re just rushing you to the hospital, that they’re speeding you over to recovery girl and in a few hours time you’ll be tired but cheery, teasing him for being so worried about nothing. But as he lays you down and then watches them zip you up into a black bag, he knows it’s a hopeless fantasy. You’re gone and you’re never coming back.
A few days later he sits in a black suit with a black tie and a silver chain carrying an engagement ring around his neck. He leans against Fuyumi, who sits on his left side, while his mother grasps tightly onto his right hand. Behind him Natsuo rests a steady hand on his shoulder. His father hovers nearby, unsure how best to offer his support or if his support would even be welcome. They are the only thing that keeps Shoto from falling apart. When the time comes, he stands on shaky legs and approaches your open casket. At first he’d been insistent he wouldn’t look, but his mother had argued his last image of you shouldn’t be your broken body, riddled with holes. So he looks down at you, pieced back together by some mortician, lying motionless in the nicest outfit you own and he traces every detail of you. He tries to patch over the memory of you broken on the ground that haunts him every night since it’s happened with this image of you now. He pictures all of the good and beautiful moments you’ve shared together, let’s them swell in his chest until they’re too large to contain and pour out of him through his silent tears. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your too cold forehead and mumbles to you again his final promise:
“I love you, (y/n). I’ll never forget you.”
#this hurt me so fucking bad to write oh my godddd#it’s so long too oh man I really said ‘you want pain? I’ll give you pain’#🤡🤡🤡#anyway even though it hurt I loved writing this#thanks for the request anon#hhrequests#shoto x y/n#todoroki x y/n#shoto x reader#todoroki x reader#shoto todoroki
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MAYBE IT’S CALLED FATE
Prompt: Request, by the ever so lovely @auawdo Thank you so much for your request, pumpkin! I hope you’ll like it
Word Count: Long
Pairings: Seth Rollins x Reader
Warnings: Angst, smut(implied), cursing
Tag: @marlananicole , @theworldofotps , @new-zealand-chic , @yungbludjazz360
Notes: This has gained Seth a bigger space in my heart 🥰 Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) You can check them out on my Masterlist. Okay,now let’s get to the fun part, shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉
PRESENT DAY
Staring out the big windows that display the snowy weather of Davenport, Iowa. I retraced the journey that lead me here...
FLASHBACK - 8 YEARS AGO
“Y/N? Where are you, babe?”
From the bedroom I heard the loud thump of his duffel bag being tossed on the floor
“Oh, there you are! I’ve been looking for y- Are you ok?” He urgently asks, running to me
“Seth, I need to talk to you”
“Uh Oh, those words are an omen for bad news” He whispered
“Please, seat down” I ask and he oblige
“I have to do this quickly, like a band-aid” I murmur to myself
“What will you have to do it quickly, Y/N?”
“I can’t stay here”
“What do you mean? You don’t want to live in Iowa anymore? That’s ok, we can move to Florida if-“
“No, Seth... I mean, I don’t think we should be together anymore” I whispered with tears in my eyes
“You wanna break up? But why? Have I done something wrong? Because if I did I’m sure we can work it out a-“
“No...”
“You don’t love me anymore?” Seth asked with hurtful eyes
“I do, I do but-“
“I love you too, Y/N. So, end of story!” He huffed
“Seth, I wish there could be an easier way-“
“Why are you doing this? What changed your mind? Did you fell in love with someone else? What is it, Y/N?” Seth screamed
“I don’t think it’s fair ok? Babysitting while I’m injured is not fair to you, having to stay here waiting for you to come home is not fair to me, holding you back from enjoying yourself with other women is not fair to you and wondering if you have been sleeping with other women night after night is not fair to me. So let’s stop it before we hurt each other”
“What? First of all, I don’t babysit you, I TAKE CARE of you because I love you! Second of all I NEVER cheated on you and you know that. I FaceTime you every night until I fall asleep, just so we don’t feel lonely, because I know how hard this can be! I’ve been on your shoes...And for the record, you’re the one who’s hurting me with this breakup bullshit thing”
Seth tugs on his hair from frustration, pacing around the room
“I’m sorry, but is for the best Seth” I caress his beard, memorizing every feature of his face
“These are the painkillers, the stress and the injury speaking not you...It’s not you, right baby?” He asked in despair
“I’ll always love you Seth, you’re an incredible man and someday you’ll find a very lucky girl who deserves you”
“No, I want you! You deserve me” He grabs my suitcase, trying to pull it out of my hand “You’re not leaving, I won’t allow it. You’re not going anywhere” Seth tugs on the suitcase.
“Seth, please don’t do this” I beg
“No” He sobs “Please don’t do this to me, please don’t leave me, Y/N. I need you, I love you, I can’t live without you” Seth grabbed my face softly in his hands “Please tell me that you’re kidding me, that this is a prank...Please Y/N this can’t be true. Tell me you still love me, that we’ll be together! I can’t-“ Seth began to cry uncontrollably
“Shhhh...I’m sorry, baby. You’ll be fine. I promise you, you’ll be ok” I try to comfort him
I laid with him on his bed one last time, enjoying his bearded cheek on my chest one last time. Running my fingers through his hair gently, reassuring him that it will all be fine. When his sobs were replaced by a soft snoring, I stand up from the bed, covering Seth’s body with a blanket. Pecking his lips for the last time, I grabbed my suitcase, slowly closing the bedroom door and leaving behind what it used to be my home.
FLASHBACK - 7 YEARS LATER
The last thing I wished was see him again, the last thing I wanted was to end up in SmackDown with him and of course that God was in his jokester mood today and decided to deliver me this little joke called fate.
“Y/N? I can’t believe it!” Roman ran to me, giving me a bear hug and successfully spinning me around the arena’s hallway.
“Oh Lord, calm down you Samoan beast! Jesus” I laughed loudly
“I didn’t knew you were back! Why didn’t you told me?”
“I didn’t wanted to draw to much attention” I trailed off
“Because of Seth?” Roman asked and I just gave him a sad smile as an answer
“You can’t hide forever, Y/N. You know that, right?”
“I know... I just need a few days”
“Or not” Roman said, pointing with his chin at someone behind me
I felt his presence before I could see him
“Y/N?”
I turn around to meet his gaze, it had a mixture between surprise, pain and...love?
“Hello, Seth”
“Oh my God, it’s been so long” He reaches his arms for a hug but ended up changing his mind “What are you doing here?”
“I needed a job, so” I laughed lightly
“I thought I would never see you again”
“Looks like destiny has other plans” I mumbled
......................................................................
For the next two weeks I bump into Seth everywhere I go: arena, hotel, gym, convenience store, liquor store, diner, bar, even at a club’s bathroom line! The chemistry between us was still there, awake. Even after all those years my body called for him like some sort of drug. And I would be lying if I said that I didn’t wanted him back, not just for the sex but for everything else.
I’m at the local Starbucks when I meet him again (it’s the fourth time today), I had to put an end to this so I decided to talk to him about everything that happened in the past.
“Sure, we can talk about it” He shyly answered
We chose a hidden bench at the local park to sit down
“Thank you, for agreeing with this”
“It’s fine, Y/N” Seth weakly smiles
“Well, first of all, I would like to apologize to you. For everything I did back then...I wasn’t thinking straight and I don’t know what took ahold of me to have made such a dumb decision”
“And it took you 7 years to realize that?” He asked, sounding hurt and mad at the same time
I shook my head “No, to be honest with you, I regretted my decision when as soon as I got home”
“Why didn’t you called me then?”
“Because I thought you would be angry at me, wouldn’t want to see me or talk to me. The mere thought of you rejecting me was unbearable” I whispered
“And how do you think I felt?” Seth spat “Do you think it was fun for me to wake up and find out you were gone? I called you Y/N, I texted you, I called your brother, your sister, even your mother! I sent you emails, I went to your house, I tried everything I could to get you to talk to me. Just so at least I could get some type of closure, but you never gave me that opportunity. You shut me off, pretended I never existed, erased me from your life and now you expect me to do what? To welcome you back in my arms? To say that I missed you and that I was waiting for you all those years? Is that what you want? For me to stop my life completely just so you can enter it again and ruin it again once you decide you‘ve had enough of me?”
The only thing I could do was to remain silent, I knew Seth and I knew that sooner or later he would end up lashing out and saying everything he always wanted to say for those past 7 years, so I just sat there and took it like a big girl even with the tears rolling down my eyes. Afterall, I was the one who brought that to myself.
“I can’t do that, I gave you too much power the first time and I will not give you the same power again! When you left I hit rock bottom Y/N, my life was partying, booze and pussy. I almost lost my job because of that! Do you know how many nights I spent awake thinking of you? Crying over you? Trying to understand what had I done wrong for you to leave me like that? Do you know how many women I fucked thinking about you? Wishing they were you? Wishing to wake up in the morning and find you laying there by my side? Wishing that it was all a nightmare? Now you come here, 7 years after the shit storm and say that you’re sorry and that the thought of me rejecting you was unbearable so you just left? You know what, Y/N? Fuck you! Fuck you and your shitty apology, I don’t need this bullshit! I’m better without you, now I can fuck whoever I want, whenever I want. Without having to worry about their incapacity of having a relationship because of their stupid and childish commitment issues” He stood up and left
And now, by the irony of fate, I’m the one who gets abandoned now.
......................................................................
I got his message that day in the park, he doesn’t want to talk to me, so I do exactly that. I leave him alone. I never met him at random places anymore after that day.
It has been a month since I came back and any hope I had of settling things with Seth went down the drain.
I’m finishing zipping up my duffel bag when someone knocked on the locker room door
“Yeah? It’s open” I screamed
“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”
My heart stopped when I heard Seth’s voice
“Hi, umm sure. What’s up?” I ask
Seth closed the door behind him
“Can we sit down?” He points to the small leather couch
I nodded, sitting down by his side
“I wanted to apologize to you” He started “The things I said to you that day at the park were unnecessary, I should’ve dealt with it in a better way”
“It’s ok, Seth. We both know I deserved” I weakly smile at him
“No, you didn’t! Even though I was confused and hurt, I didn’t had the right to do that to you. I truly am sorry”
“It’s ok, buddy. Apology accepted” I patted his knee and he holds my hand there
“I’m going to ask you something, but I need you to be completely honest with me, ok?”
“Of course”
“Do you still love me?” He asked and my whole world stopped
I looked down to my feet and honestly answered “I never stopped loving you, Rollins. No matter how hard I tried”
His only response to me was a cheerful grin.
1 YEAR LATER - PRESENT DAY
“What are you doing staring out the window, baby? It’s fucking freezing! Come back to bed” Seth’s arms circle around my waist, trying to pull me back to bed
“I’m enjoying the snowy morning view” I chuckled
“Meh” He scoff “I have something more interesting for you to enjoy if you come back to bed with me” Seth smirked
“What possibly could be nicer than this view”
“Hmmm, I don’t know...maybe something thick and warm that slides in and out of you, maybe?” He bites my neck and I can’t help the little moan that escaped my lips
“That sounds fun” I grab him through his boxers, teasing him
Seth moans “Oh you’re gonna regret that”
He picked me up in his arms right before tossing me back onto his bed....
Please if you’re comfortable with it let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘
#seth rollins smut#seth rollins fanfiction#seth rollins x reader#seth rollins one shot#seth rollins imagines#seth rollins#wwe x reader#wwe smut#wwe one shot#wwe imagine#wwe fanfiction#masochist writes
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For the Drabble challenge: 29 + 30 please! 😁
Here’s one! I have #30 coming up in a minute! This is set in a new universe, just something sweet and soft and maybe a tad angsty!
Safe Haven | 29. “Come over here and make me!”
"Daenerys get down from there and come here!"
"Come over here and make me!"
Jon muttered under his breath, storming towards the large oak tree behind his house-- and hers-- rummaging around in the dirty leaves and mud to find the knot at the base where he put his foot and then the groove just a foot above his head for his hand, beginning to haul himself up the back way towards the house above him. "I'm going to kill you," he vowed, hating when he had to get up this way because she'd cranked up the rope ladder.
He emerged at the top, crawling over ungracefully onto the platform and fell to prop his back against the wall, peering into the treehouse where she sat, her face a beautiful mess of fury, fire, and pain. She sniffed, hiding it behind her hand, and he ducked his head. He knew she didn't like it when he saw her cry. His dragon was always so strong. He hit his head against one of the tree branches that curved out from the main trunk, which was in the center of the house.
It was hard to tell what came first, the tree or the treehouse. It had been there forever; he joked that hte Children of the Forst must have built it. It belonged to no one, stuck behind his house and hers, in a space of the Wolfswood that did not fall on his family's property or hers. He drew his knee up to his chest and hooked his arm around it, holding onto his ankle. "Dany, please," he said softly. "It's not the end of the world."
"You're leaving!"
"I was always going to leave!"
"You didn't <i>tell</i> me!"
He would give her that one. He closed his eyes, sighing hard. Couldn't take it back. "You knew I was going to join," he muttered. There wasn't much for him. He wasn't interested in going to college. He had great grades, was one of the top of his class, but it wasn't for him and he knew it. "I didn't want you there when I did."
She scowled, reaching over and picked up a stray beer can from the other night when they'd spent the entire time that his cousin had a party hiding away in their own private one. She chucked it at him, with no heat behind the action. "I hate you."
"I love you."
"I hate you."
He crawled towards her, repeating the words. Over and over. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
"No," she cried, when he pulled her small frame into his arms, and she cried into his chest as he rocked her. She hiccuped, clutching his shirt. "It's all changing Jon."
"I know." He was leaving the only place he knew as his home, joining the military, disappearing into wherever or whatever they wanted him to do, although he had ideas. Ideas he wouldn't tell her about because she could convince him otherwise. He kissed her brow. This was the only place she had thought of as her home, after an entire life of moving from place to place. He exhaled, eyes fluttering shut. "Dany...if you were with me...I would not have done it and...and I have to do this."
"I know." She tilted her face up, the sunlight dying away at the end of the early summer day, her face a pale oval, tears streaking. She blinked her violet eyes, looking indigo in the dim light. Her silver hair was tangled, dirty from spending most of the day in the treehouse. She brushed her lips along his pulse, racing. "Hold me Jon, just...just hold me until the end."
If he had his way there wouldn't be an end. He nodded and squeezed her close, until their hands grew bored, their emotions needing release, and they peeled at each other's clothing until they were making love under the stars, still not close to being 'experts' at the act even after the last few months of numerous hours of practice.
When he woke up in the morning, she was gone, and he stared at the carved heart in the tree trunk, smiling at it. he wouldn't see her again; he had a feeling she was already on her way to Essos.
One day, he hoped, and he gathered up his clothes and climbed out of the treehouse, tossing the rope ladder up so no one could get to their safe haven.
--
Dany had not been back since she left for college. It broke her heart, being back here, but she had to return, because it was Ned Stark's funeral. It was important for her to be there; he was always so kind to her, the weird silver-haired "Ghost Girl" they called her. He knew her family's issues, why her mother had relocated them up North, as far away from anyone in the South who might know about her father's embezzlement and crimes. She hated running, she just wanted a place to call home.
And it wasn't even really home until she had discovered that ancient treehouse in the woods behind her house. Except she wasn't the only one.
It became their place. The weird bastard child with no mother and father, left to the charity of his aunt and uncle, and the see-through Ghost Girl. They were the best of friends. They did everything there. It was where she had gone to cry over her brother Rhaegar's death, her brother Viserys running away and leaving them, all the kids making fun of her, and the highs and lows of friendship and heartbreak. They watched meteor showers and stared at the stars, they both had their first drunk moments there-- and hangovers-- the first time they sampled Shade of the Evening-- she hated it, he threw up-- where she hid her cat Drogon from her mother for a week before he got out and ended up in her bedroom.
It was where they had their first kiss-- she wanted to know what it was like and he had already told his cousin he'd kissed someone-- laughing and giggling through it. Then it was where they relaized they were in love with each other, shouting and angry because he'd gone on a few days with Ygritte Wilde who was telling everyone she'd taken his virginity and where she had been stood up on a 'date' that turned out to be his stupid fucking cousin Sansa setting her up for humilation.
They'd admitted their love, they had fumbled through their first time there-- and second, third, and fourth too. It was where everything important happened.
It was where he broke her heart. Where she broke his.
She stared up at it, reaching up with a branch to knock at the rope ladder, grunting from effort since it was caked to the wood from years of weather and countless leaves falling. A clump of leaves and sticks fell, almost showering her with the detritus, and she smiled, lightly touching the frayed rope. "Well if I die climbing this thing, that's appropriate," she muttered, hooking her foot into the bottom and making her way up.
It was like time stood still in the treehouse.
It was dusty, piles of leaves and dirt in the corners. There was a blanket that had been eaten through by some animal, nothing but thread now. She used to be able to stand straight up in it, but now she crouched, glancing around, smiling at it all. There were a couple of band posters they'd tacked up, the paper caked onto the walls now. If she touched it it would probably turn to dust.
And the trunk in the middle, with the carved heart, weather worn and the wood darkened. She traced her finger along it. DANY + JON.
She hadn't seen him yet; the funeral wasn't until tomorrow.
They had a lot to catch up on, she supposed, rocking onto her heels. It was for self preservation she'd left him that morning. That they'd ceased all communication. It would kill her to keep it up. They needed to leave. To create their own lives and futures.
She exhaled, a puff of cold air coming out and she frowned, glancing down and realizing that the ashtray that she had made in art class was still there. Except there was a single cigarette butt in it. Delicately, she lifted it, and her eyes widened; it was still warm. "Bloody hells," she cursed.
"Hi Dany."
Whipping her head, she fell backwards onto her butt, feet sliding under her. She gaped at the opposite doorway; the back entrance up to the house, the way that they had to take if one of them had pulled up the rope ladder. "Jon," she gasped.
He looked good. Dark curls over his forehead and ears, his beard trim and lines threading from his eyes. Gray, singular eyes, that made her think of the winter storms and the angry seas. He smiled shyly, an arm draped over his knee. "I heard you and...and I don't know why I hid," he admitted, shy.
She swallowed hard. She wanted to yell at him for some reason. He'd been in the papers six months ago; a dangerous mission at the Wall. He could have died. "Jon," she repeated.
He scooted a little closer to her. "You look good."
Her hair was shorter than it had been. She didn't know what to say. What did you say after all this time to hte only man you had ever loved? The only boy? She took a deep breath, exhaled hard, and then did the only thing she suspected one could do.
She kissed him.
Lunged towards him, arms flying about his neck, and planted her mouth so hard on his, she knocked him backwards, and he grunted, the breath pushed out of him from her tiny body sitting on his. He grabbed her hips and kissed her back, as urgent and desperate as her. They were in heavy parkas and scarves, but none of that mattered, because she could hear his heart racing in time with hers, and feel the same hot bloody pulsing through him as her.
He broke the kiss a second later, hand rising to cup her cheek; it was cold, but she didn't mind, because the shock reminded her this was real. "Dany," he sighed.
"I love you," she mumbled. Tears trickled down her cheeks. "I love you still Jon. I don't care if you've changed, or...or if you're with someone or something...because I will always love you."
He smiled slowly and nuzzled his nose against hers, their hot breaths mingling. "I love you too." He paused, his brow wrinkling. "And...and there's no one.. There's never been anyone but you."
They had so much to talk about, so much to catch up on, but for now, she needed to just remind herself that he was there, with her, in their safe space, away from anyone else. She kissed him again, and again, and buried her face into his neck, smiling, finally at home.
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