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shesthejukeboxhero · 1 year

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Don’t Blame Me

Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader (AU)

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Swearing, Alcohol, Parent Loss (flashback), Bullying (flashback) MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH!

Summary: What would have happened if instead of Billy being flayed, it was his girlfriend? (Title and ending inspired by “Don’t Blame Me by Taylor Swift)

A/N: I apologize for not posting in such a long time! I just needed the time to sit down and write this fully because who would want to read a part 2 when I could easily finish it in one part? Anyways, I hope you guys really enjoy this, it has been in my mind for a long time now.

“Oh Lord, save me, my drug is my baby, I'll be usin' for the rest of my life, Usin' for the rest of my life”

You had made plans for after graduation. Work hard all summer, move to California the day after Labor Day. You knew the day he asked you out formally that the two of you were endgame.

He got a job at the pool, you got a job at the new record store in the mall. Some days, he’d meet you at the mall for lunch, or you’d drive up to the pool to see him on your break. Sometimes, the two of you even rented a hotel room to spend the night together without fear of your families noticing. That’s what you were doing that night.

After stopping at your house to get some clothes for the night, you were driving to Motel 6, where Billy was waiting for you. Singing along happily to the Blondie song on the radio, you knew tonight was going to be a good night, until it wasn’t.

It came out of nowhere. The object shattered the windshield of your silver Ford Escort, sending your head straight into the steering wheel. Stepping out of your car to inspect the damage, you notice a weird gooey substance on the windshield.

“What the fuck…” you mutter to yourself when a random squeal and rustling in the bushes sounds out just a few feet from where you are now.

“Who’s there?” You say, suddenly becoming more panicked.

You move towards the bushes to investigate the sound but you suddenly get swept off your feet and you start getting pulled towards the steel mill.

“Let me go! Please, let me go!” You scream as you’re pulled down the stairs, gripping onto the top stair for your life, but the force is too strong. The creature now towers over you, like a giant tentacle. It latches onto your face and drowns out your screams.

Somehow, the creature lets go of you long enough for you to sprint out back to your car and drive away. You don’t know what the fuck just happened, but you know you HAVE to get away from that steel mill.

Eventually you spot a pay phone on the side of the road, and you pull over and sprint to it as fast as your legs can go. Dialing 911, you start getting flashbacks to being pulled down to the steel mill.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

As the flashbacks get more rampant, the lights start flickering more and more, when suddenly, it goes dark. It’s too quiet, not even the dial tone of the phone can be heard. Stepping out of the pay phone, you look around cautiously. As you walk back out into the road you spot a group of people hiding in the fog.

“What do you want?”

Dead silence.

“I said, what do you want?”

Suddenly a figure starts walking towards you. As they get closer, it’s a clone of yourself.

“To build. I want you to build.” Your clone says in a distorted voice, much different from your own.

“To build what?” You say, scared for your life.

“What you see.”

“I don’t understand.”

A crack of lightning sounds and the next thing you know your clone and the crowd are gone.

“I don’t understand! What do you mean, I don’t understand!”

Billy waited all night for you to show up, but you never did. He knew this was unlike you, and figured you’d have a good explanation when he came to visit you at work today. As he walks into the record store, he sees you wearing short shorts and a tank top, something you never wore unless it was incredibly hot out (which it was not that day.)

“Where were you last night?” He says, point-blankly.

“I had a change of plans.” You say, with no emotion in your voice.

“Take him, Y/N. He’s perfect” The voice says in your head, and you feel yourself losing control.

“Please, Y/N, tell me what I did wrong.” He says, looking into your eyes, which just feeds the monster’s desire to take him as the next victim. Feeling your control start to slip almost completely, you realize you have to get Billy out of here, quickly.

“GO AWAY BILLY, PLEASE!” You yell at him, and you see the hurt expression on his face.

“Fine.” He says, leaving without another word, and you mentally sigh of relief. He’s safe, for now. The black veins go back into your skin, and you run to the break room and grab one of the water bottles out of the fridge and chug it, grabbing the other one to cool your face down.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Your co-worker, Daniel says as he checks back in from his lunch break.

“Take him instead.” The monster says into your head. Without thinking, you approach Daniel and grab him by the neck.

“Y/N what the fuck are you doing?” He chokes out as he starts to lose consciousness.

“Relax, it will all be over soon.” You say with a soothing voice.

The days blend together, where your body is moving without you even knowing. Taking whoever the flayer tells you to take. The old lady at the grocery store, the little boy throwing a baseball against a brick wall downtown, anyone. You don’t even feel like yourself anymore, a shell of a girl who once had it all.

Meanwhile, Billy was working hard to figure out how to get you back. Max filled him in on the supernatural beings of Hawkins, so now he knows what happened to you.

“So, what worked for Will was getting him super hot. Is there a way to do that?” Max asks Billy.

“I don’t know… maybe trapping her at work?” He says, trying to come up with a way to save his girl.

The plan is to trap you at work on the day you work by yourself. Billy will barricade the doors from the outside while Eleven turns the thermostat up from outside the shop, while Max and the rest of the party stand outside. As Billy hauls all the materials to the back door, he feels his anxiety rush over him, worried for how you’re going to react. He shoves that feeling aside and quickly barricades all the doors beside the glass front one so you don’t see him until it’s too late. After returning to the front of the store, Eleven starts turning the thermostat up. As the numbers get higher and higher, the control over your mind is lower and lower. It’s getting too hot, and you know that he will be angry.

“It’s up all the way.” Eleven says, wiping the blood from her nose.

“Now we wait.” Max says, standing just behind her brother as he nails the wood planks into the walls of the store to barricade the door.

Your hands clench under the counter, fighting to keep any sanity you have left, but it’s getting to be too much to bare. Meeting Billy’s eyes through the window, your eyes start to water. Walking over to the door’s window, you desperately call out to him.

“Billy please…”

“Y/N…”

“I didn’t mean to!! He made me!”

“Who made you do what?”

“The.. the.. the black thing… the giant shadow!”

“Y/N, please, we only want to help you.” Billy rests his hand against yours through the glass window, and that’s when it snaps. Punching through the window, Billy jumps back in shock. Kicking the wood planks away from the door, the group knows they need to act fast. Lucas fired his wrist rocket at her head, but that just made it angrier. The veins blacken all over your body and you smash through the door, but Eleven slams your body hard against the back wall of the store. Getting her weak enough, you reach your hand out and strangle her but that’s when Mike slams one of the wood planks against your head, giving Eleven enough time to throw you through the back wall of the store.

You walk down the steps to the basement of the mill, where Daniel is waiting, with all the rest of your victims.

“What happened.” Daniel says calmly.

“They know. They know I’m the host.” you say angrily.

“Who attacked you?”

“The girl. Nearly killed me.”

“She cannot kill all of us though.” He says, gesturing to the large crowd behind him.

A few days later, after meeting up with Nancy and Jonathan, the group decides to search for the flayed in the void. You, Daniel, Daniel’s Parents, The Holloways, and Doris Driscoll are all confirmed victims of the mind flayer.

After the attack at the hospital, you and Daniel stand waiting as the mini flayer, comprised of Daniel’s father and Tom Holloway’s bodies, returns to the mill, you look at him and say, “It’s time.”

Back at the cabin, Eleven is deep inside the void searching for the flayed. While the kids argue about why she shouldn’t be in the void for as long as she has been, Billy and Nancy are busy calling local businesses to ask if they have any missing chemicals. Suddenly, Eleven removes her blindfold and says, “I found her.”

You’re sitting alone on your bed in your bedroom, surrounded by floral wallpaper and music posters. Suddenly, you look up and see Eleven. A tear slips from your eye as you show her the possessions you caused, before slipping into an old memory of your own.

It’s the day of the annual Halloween party at Tina’s. You park your car and walk up to the party, dressed in an angel costume. Sipping on red punch, you bump into a shirtless Billy behind you.

“Excuse me, angel.”

“Sorry…-“

“Billy. Billy Hargrove.”

“Y/N. Y/N L/N.”

“What do you say we leave this lame party and you can show me what heaven looks like, doll.”

Suddenly, the memory starts to fade away as a new one starts. In this memory, there’s a much younger version of you, kneeling beside a hospital bed. She sees it’s a woman who looks a lot like you… your mother.

“Daddy, when will mommy wake up?”

He doesn’t respond.

“Daddy?”

That memory fades into a new one, where you’re no older than 8 years old, where you’re sitting on a bench outside at recess, when a group of girls come up to you.

“You know L/N, you’d be a lot less ugly if you actually tried.”

“Yeah, you need a makeover.”

Looking up at them, you say, “No thanks…”

“Too bad.” One of the girls pulls out a pair of scissors, cutting a chunk of your hair off. They laugh as tears fall from your eyes and that’s when it fades to one last memory: the night you were flayed.

She watches as the object hits your windshield, to your desperate call to 911, to getting dragged down the stairs. Not being able to take it anymore, Eleven returns to the cabin to find it empty. Lights flickering, Eleven calls out to Mike.

“He can’t hear you.” You say, in a deeper voice than normal.

She gasps as you step out from one of the rooms.

“You shouldn’t have looked for me.” You say, stepping towards her menacingly. “Because now I see you. We can all see you.”

Eleven backs away, scared.

“You… let us in. And now, you are going to have to let us stay.”

Eleven trembles as you step close to her.

“Don’t you see? All this time, we’ve been building it…. For you. All that work, all that pain, all of it, for you.”

Eleven sobs as you stare at her, intimidating her.

“And now it’s time. Time to end it. And we are going to end you. And once you’re gone, we are going to end your friends.”

“No!” Eleven yells, sobbing.

“And then we are going to end everyone.”

Eleven returns back to the cabin she came from, sobbing. After telling the group everything, they hear a snarl from outside. Will’s neck flares up, and he says, “He’s here.”

Nancy arms herself with a shotgun, and Jonathan and Billy arm themselves with axes. The cabin shakes and then suddenly stops, and that’s when a tendril slams through the window towards Eleven. Billy slams his ax down on it, but it turns to attack Billy. Nancy distracts it long enough for Eleven to tear it apart, but then 2 more fly in. Struggling, she finally tears them apart, but then the mind flayer itself destroys the roof, wrapping one of its tendrils around Eleven’s ankle. Jonathan severs the tendril with the ax while the rest of the group pulls Eleven away from the monster. The piece wrapped around her ankle embeds itself in her leg but Mike rips it out. After Eleven tears it apart, they flee the cabin in Nancy’s car.

After stopping at the supermarket, they flee with fireworks in tow. The flayer sends you out to find them there, but you were too late. Dipping your fingers in the blood left behind from Eleven’s leg, you use it to track where they’re headed— Starcourt.

When you arrive, they are outside working on Nancy’s car, which was tampered with. You rev the engine of your car, getting the attention of the group. They hurry back inside while Nancy fires at you as you floor your car towards the mall, when suddenly a car slams into yours- Steve Harrington slammed the rich guy’s car into yours, giving them time to escape. Spotting Mike, Max, and Eleven trying to escape through a back entrance, you hurry out of the burning car to get them.

“Take the girl, ignore the others.”

Cornering the kids in the hallway, Max starts telling you positive memories, like when you and Billy went to prom together (you promised him you’d make it worth his while afterwards…), and when you helped her get ready for the snowball. None of it works though, and you slam both her and Mike into the wall, knocking them out cold. Knocking Eleven out as well, you hoist her over your shoulder and carry her out to the center of the mall to present to the mind flayer.

Leaning over her, Eleven starts to wake up. She starts telling you details from the memory she saw— the one of you and Billy on Halloween.

“It was Halloween… Billy was there… he called you angel… your little halo and your wings gave it away…. You were pretty, very pretty. Billy loved you the moment he saw you…”

Hearing the memory, a tear slips from your eye. Climbing off of her, you turn to face the mind flayer. As it shoots a tendril out to take Eleven, you stand in front of her, taking the tendril in your chest.

“NO!” Billy yells out, watching the tendril sink into your body as you fall to your knees. The flayer lets go of you because Lucas begins firing fireworks at it, distracting him. Billy runs over to your shaking body, barely conscious.

“Angel, please, don’t leave me…” he says, caressing your tear-stained and blood covered face.

“Billy, it’s okay…” you say softly. “I’ll be okay…”

He lifts you into his lap and holds you close. “But I won’t…”

“I’ll love you forever… just put the blame on me…”

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. Don’t blame yourself.”

You cough up blood. “Billy please, let me go… I love you…” you say, holding his hand before slipping into unconsciousness.

He stays right there, feeling the muscles in your hand fall weak as he still holds your hand, even when the paramedics try to remove you from his grasp. He sits in front of your grave, knowing you wanted him to move on, but he just can’t let you go. You were his drug, and he’ll keep on using the memories of you for the rest of his life.

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perpetuelledaydreaming · 2 years

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18 | prologue

summary: billy has always loved the sea and his mother, and yet he has always known that love wasn't for him. Now that he's older he just has his Camaro and the routine of leaving girls bed's at dawn, yet nothing prepared him for what he saw on one of his nights out.

warnings: domestic abuse, swearing, mentions of sex.

listen to: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince - Taylor Swift | Family line - Conan Gray | This love - Maroon 5 (playlist here)

word count: 1.5k

series masterlist

Billy Hargrove had always known that love wasn’t for him.

He might’ve not known it when he was too young when he didn’t manage to perceive what kind of relationship his parents had but god, as soon as he realized it, his perception of loved seemed forever tainted.

He loved his mother, he truly did. She was always there for him, she knew about his dreams and his fears and she never judged him for them. She gave him all the love that a mother would, but even a bit more as it seemed like his father didn’t really like him.

Neil Hargrove was a harsh man, he never showed even a drop of kindness to anyone and even less to his son. He was violent beyond words and although his punches were hard on Billy’s body, his words hit him even harder. It came to a point that Billy knew what his father would say about him as if it was a poem he had to memorize for school, it usually went as: you are worthless, how could I have such an idiot kid? I’m supposed to raise this pussy? Such a waste of space.

It hurt him a lot, he would spend hours crying by his mother’s side.

He didn’t believe it could get any worse, and yet it did.

As he grew older, he didn’t hide in his room like before when the fights between his parents started. The yelling, the screaming, the broken plates, the insults, and soon the punches that ended up with him in the middle trying to defend his mother against his father.

Not that he could do much at ten.

It wasn’t long before the only place where he felt safe wasn’t at home but on the ocean. He loved the sounds of the waves crashing against the sand, he loved the warm summer breeze that cooled off his cheeks and nose when he came to breathe from the water. Soon, his mother got him a surfboard and he couldn’t have been happier. He was so good at it, that his mother and others called him a natural. He could spend hours surfing without a care in the world, he liked how his golden curls soaked with the seawater and feeling like he was all alone as he was draped on his surfboard while resting.

And then his mother left him.

Billy didn’t surf again after that, it hurt too much. He asked her for so long if she was going to come back for him and yet although she had assured her that she would with a trembling voice, it never happened.

He has left with his dad.

He never went surfing again.

After that, something changed in Billy.

He remembered his first report cards, they described him as an extroverted and smart kid, who was kind to his classmates but soon the report cards turned into warnings of his violent tendencies and the multiple fights he got on with classmates of him over the smallest disagreement. People started to fear him at school and soon was known for starting and ending fights.

Then, his father married Susan Mayfield who later turned into Susan Hargrove. She was a beautiful, feminine, and most importantly a quiet woman, who obeyed his father and would stay quiet, unlike his mother. She also had a kid that was the opposite of herself. Max was a tomboy and she didn’t like anything that normal girls would like, she was never quiet and had a lot of opinions. If Billy was being honest, he saw a lot of him in Max.

Nonetheless, Billy’s distrustful demeanor didn’t allow him and Max to get along a lot of the time at first, although sometimes they did and Billy actually felt okay?

It started small, with Billy watching Halloween and Max joining in. Billy taught Max how to ride a skateboard that he was already getting bored as he thought about the car he wanted to buy when he turned sixteen. Billy then taught her how to actually fight. And the moments whenever Billy’s dad beat him, Max stood up for him and tried to protect him since Neil never got it in him to hit Max, she offered him ice after any fight and they would sit alone without talking while listening to music.

He wouldn’t say he loved her as a sister, but he appreciated her.

Soon, after his sixteen birthday, his favorite place became his Camaro. He had worked almost every day since he was fourteen to save enough money to afford it and he spend every day in that car. A deep part inside of him knew that his car reminded him of surfing and the ocean. The waves crashing against the sand were replaced by the engine of his car, the warm summer breeze could also be felt if he pulled all of his windows down and he was an actually good driver although he could be a little reckless.

Most importantly, his appearance plus the car allowed him to get some interesting attention from girls.

He didn’t realize it probably until he started High School, how people would watch him arrive at his cars, how girls would stare at him and how her cheeks would be tainted pink if he got too close to them and soon Billy had his first kiss. Honestly, it was mostly a stolen one by Sharon Carter, who had grabbed Billy by the neck and put her tongue down his throat.

He didn’t particularly enjoy it but with time everything got better.

Soon, Billy realized that if he didn’t enjoy his life and if his home was hell, he decided to take pleasure where he may find it since it was so scarce for him. He started to have fun with girls, multiple girls, but if he was being honest he was pretty picky on who he decided to go out with. Some called Billy a slut and he got the reputation because it did precede him since he was no one’s boyfriend but still, he didn’t particularly enjoy it and he really thought he had a certain code of honor.

He always was pretty clear about what he wanted, which was to mess around and have sex. He always was clear on what he wanted and what he was willing to give. So, he’d enjoyed the company of girls and enjoyed it well but as soon as he started to notice or feel like they were getting too close, too familiar, and have that glimmer in their eyes that only meant one thing, Billy would drop them and run away.

He did it in California, and he did it in Hawkins.

Nonetheless, with Summer over, Tommy and Carol had been all over Billy talking about how he probably should get a Queen otherwise his popularity would decline. He didn’t understand that if he was being honest, he believed that he was still on top but they gave him multiple reasons, such as the fear of the school wasn’t enough, that if he played with too many girls he would become an asshole and that if he wanted to graduate being Hawkin’s King, he should at least meet one girl to go to the major events and become the ‘it couple’.

Billy really thought it was mostly bullshit that Carol had seen in a movie or a magazine but it made him wonder. Billy didn’t ever feel like he was worth something outside the halls of the school and if he lost that, although he didn’t even enjoy being King that much, what worth would he have?

Those were the thoughts that were plaguing him as he drove in the early hours of the morning after leaving the house of his latest fling. He didn’t get too much sleep after the fact or when Tina started to cry once he told her he was done. Honestly, Billy just wanted to cease his thoughts about everything as he drove slowly on the foggy street outside of the suburbs with no end.

And then he heard the roar of an engine that snapped him wide awake.

He turned to his right to see someone.

On a motorcycle.

Not any motorcycle but a fucking Yamaha Vmax.

Billy squinted his eyes and then they opened wide as plates as they saw their legs, or her legs, the short skirt was riled up by the way she was leaning on her bike as she upped the speed.

He didn’t understand if she was going so fast because of the fun of it or because she was actually running away from something. He understood the thrill of going fast in his own car but the way she was driving was right down insane, he was aware that if Hopper caught someone going on the road like that they would be detained as soon as possible, and yet she didn’t seem to care.

And something lighted up in Billy.

A thrill, a desire, something just made him throw his caution out the window.

Without missing a beat, Billy hit his pedals, and off he went behind you.

***

author's note: Lmk your thoughts i'm extremely excited for this but I decided to wait until ST4 dropped and now that's out i changed so many things i hope you like it. moreover i would appreciate a bunch if you supported me on ko-fi even one dollar makes the difference! thank you so much!

FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS WELCOMED

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vilentia · 11 months

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Unspoken Wounds

Billy Hargrove x reader

A little story to suit my current mood with what I think is the most appropriate character to go with it. 🥲

The night was heavy with tension as you entered your home, weary from your late outing with friends. Your heart sank as you laid eyes upon Billy, sprawled across the couch, a victim of his own alcohol-induced stupor. The frustration that had been building up inside you erupted like a volcano, and in that moment, you couldn't bear to be near him.

You stormed past the unconscious Billy, making your way to the shared bed, seeking solace in its emptiness. Your mind echoed with unspoken words, anger and disappointment consuming your thoughts. How could he disregard your pleas, your worries, time and time again?

The following day dawned, heavy with unresolved conflict. The atmosphere in the house was suffocating, and you couldn't bring yourself to face Billy. Each passing moment only served to deepen the chasm between you, as you avoided any interaction with him. Deep down, you longed for resolution, but pride and resentment held you back.

Billy, though hurt by his own actions, understood the silence that enveloped your relationship. He realized the depth of his mistakes and knew that words alone would not mend the fractures he had caused. Respectful of your need for space, he resolved to give you the time you required, hoping that one day, the wounds could heal.

Days turned into weeks, and the distance between you seemed insurmountable. But amidst the darkness, a flicker of hope remained. One evening, as the sun cast its golden hues across the room, you found yourself unable to ignore the longing in your heart. Slowly, you approached Billy, a vulnerability radiating from your eyes.

"I miss us," you whispered softly, your voice quivering with a mix of pain and love. "But I can't keep living like this, Billy. I need you to understand."

Billy looked at you, his eyes filled with remorse and a desperate desire to make things right. "I know, babe. I'm sorry. I've let you down, and I've let myself down. I don't want to lose you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you spoke from the depths of your soul. "I love you, Billy, but I can't bear to see you destroy yourself like this. We need to find a way to move forward, together."

In that vulnerable moment, both of you recognized the love that had brought you together. The obstacles that had threatened to tear you apart suddenly seemed surmountable, as you vowed to support each other through the darkness and celebrate the light.

From that day forward, Billy sought help for his alcohol abuse, attending support groups and therapy sessions. Together, you embarked on a journey of healing and growth, learning to communicate openly and honestly with each other.

As time passed, the wounds slowly healed, leaving scars that served as a reminder of the strength of your love. Your relationship transformed, blossoming into a profound connection built on trust, understanding, and forgiveness.

Through the trials and tribulations, you realized that love could overcome even the darkest of moments. And as you held each other tightly, basking in the warmth of your renewed bond, you knew that together, you could weather any storm that life threw your way.

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harringroveera · 10 months

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Jim finally took matters in his own hands and did what was needed to be done

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ellewritesandrants · 1 year

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I don’t know why but the idea of a soulmate AU between Billy, Steve and Eddie captivates me, especially with the idea that Billy unknowingly gets Steve and Eddie to find out that they’re soulmates. Either in a modern AU where Billy’s a big fan of Corroded Coffin and Steve just managed to get a free ticket or something or in a canon AU where Billy and Steve are friends who want to smoke a little something so they buy from Eddie or Steve picks up the kids from Hellfire and one of them notices the marks match, I don’t really care how but I just want to explore the hurt and comfort of that.

Can you imagine Billy pining away, forever in love with the idea of his soulmate being the one who’ll save him from his situation given that’s what happened to his mom and he finds out that his crush is his soulmate but doesn’t want to tell him yet until he’s made something out of himself, until he’s deserving of love and all of a sudden, he finds out that his soulmate found his soulmate and it wasn’t Billy?

Imagine Steve happily dragging Eddie with him who already looks besotted with Steve and they show Billy the mark that he’s memorized from seeing it in the mirror thousands of times and as soon as he sees the smiles on their faces and the look of wonder in their eyes, he knows for a fact he can’t ruin their happiness. He isn’t selfish enough to do it even others would say he was and all he could do was pretend to be happy and smile at the happy couple.

Imagine Billy pulling away, either out of fear he’d inadvertently ruin their relationship or because he couldn’t stand being surrounded by what he couldn’t have and the kids weirdly enough noticing and trying to figure out what’s wrong. It doesn’t help that Neil’s always been bitter about soulmates and he loved rubbing it in Billy’s face how worthless everything regarding soulmates and soulmarks was. Billy used to be able to ignore it in the hopes of finding his soulmate but now, he knew the truth.

The kids come to a different conclusion, not realizing it was something regarding soulmates but instead, about Neil’s treatment of Billy. If canon, it would be El spying on Billy and seeing him being beaten into a pulp by his dad but in a modern AU, it would the aftermath wherein Max would ask Steve to come visit Billy and he drags Eddie along with him.

Either way, Steve and Eddie find out about the abuse that Billy’s been suffering through and the guilt that Steve felt was immeasurable for not seeing what his best friend was going through, too busy with being in love with his soulmate. With Hopper’s help, they get Neil behind bars but Billy’s a wreck and he needs people to take care of him.

Steve refused to leave Billy alone in the trailer while Max went to school and Susan went to work so he offered to have Billy move in with him and Eddie so they could take care of him. Since Steve only worked part-time and Eddie was in the same year as Billy and could drive them to and from school, it made a lot more sense than leaving him to his own devices.

Billy thinks he’s in a new level of hell as time goes by because getting to know Eddie and seeing everything he can’t have was absolutely painful and heartbreaking on another level. Being surrounded by their care and affection when he’s barely known it his entire life hurts on another level he can’t exactly describe but it’s a pain that hurts so good that he can’t exactly say no to it. His only saving grace is that his mark was casted over due to Neil’s last temper tantrum and there was no way that the boys would get to see it.

Months pass of Billy falling more and more in love with his soulmates who are already in love with each other and it hurts so good. Steve and Eddie never make him feel like an outsider the entire time he’s there but sometimes, his touch starvation reminds him of just how much he’d love to be squeezed in between them in any way possible.

Graduation comes and goes and Billy refused to let his father take his achievements away so he graduated valedictorian, dragging Eddie kicking and screaming past the finish line to graduate. Billy gets to make his speech, loudly supported by everyone and he makes sure to thank his newfound family for all of the support they’ve given him.

Of course, graduation wouldn’t be complete without a graduation party so they all get drunk and party in Steve’s house to celebrate six graduations especially Billy and Nancy who graduated valedictorian and salutatorian respectively. Both Jonathan and Nancy planned to go to the same college in Chicago while Robin and her girlfriend, Heather were heading to California soon. Billy had also gotten into the same college but he wasn’t sure about going because he’d be leaving so much behind, including his soulmates.

By now, Billy was in love with both of his soulmates and unbeknownst to him, they were both plently enamored with him and they’d been trying to build up the courage to ask him out. The party had been slightly delayed because Billy was getting his casts off about a week after graduation and they wanted to do shots, something that really wasn’t advisable with a cast.

Billy had planned to initially conceal his mark using makeup but a large part of him knew that it didn’t matter since Steve and Eddie were happy anyway so he didn’t bother. After all, both Steve and Eddie loved to show off their marks at every opportunity and no one gave a shit about Billy. Somehow, Billy had managed to keep his mark a secret from everyone but he knew Heather had some suspicions.

After some time, the drinking games start and somehow, Billy’s mark is revealed either in a dared striptease or by accident during a dare and it quickly sobers him up. He doesn’t notice at first but then Robin drunkenly pointed out that they had matching marks and the sober gaze of Eddie was too sharp for Billy to meet, instead choosing to run away, stumble to his car and hit the gas to the quarry.

It’s only there that he allows himself to breakdown and to mourn the end of what was a good friendship he had going on with his soulmates because he was sure they would want nothing to do with him now. He’s only just begun to run out of tears when he hears the telltale sound of Eddie’s van, meant to drive Nancy, Jonathan, Heather and Robin home later but was most likely currenly holding the last people Billy wanted to see.

For a moment, he considers running again but his Mama didn’t raise no coward, so he wipes his tears and stands his ground. Steve was a lot drunker than Billy was when Billy had left but it seemed he’d sobered up during the ride because he was clear-eyed when he was grabbing Billy and making sure that the blond wouldn’t run away.

Steve and Eddie trapped Billy in between them, in what seemed like a mockery of his fantasies only to have them play out right in front of him. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that his soulmates would tell him that they wanted him, that they loved him and wanted to take care of him and love him. Sure, it was after an argument about why Billy felt the need to hide but he had expected rejection or at the very least a mutual ignorance of his mark. He’d never considered it a possibility but the two were convinced to try and convince him to give them a chance.

After more than a few tears and attempts to get them to realize they were better off without Billy and his baggage, Steve and Eddie stubbornly managed to convince Billy to try with them. A few kisses convinced Billy to leave his car behind so that they could get it in the morning but for now, Steve and Eddie wanted him in Eddie’s van so they were sure he wouldn’t run.

The entire ride, Billy’s mind was trying to convince him that Steve and Eddie were better off without him, that he didn’t deserve this and that he was a fraud ruining a perfectly happy couple but Steve instinctively knew something was up and he’d had Billy laid across his lap with his hair being stroked to keep the bad thoughts away while Steve affirmed Billy of all of their feelings towards him.

Halfway through the ride home, Billy was asleep and Steve had no problem carrying the younger boy into their bed so that they could finally hold him the way they wanted to. Billy had long since told them of how lonely he felt in his room but as much as they had wanted to invite Billy to literally sleep with them, they hadn’t wanted to cross any boundaries.

Tonight though, all Steve and Eddie wanted to do was to fall asleep holding their newly found soulmate. Billy awoke to Steve’s warmth cocooning him and Eddie coming in to wake him with breakfast in bed. After a hearty meal, Steve and Eddie asked if they could court Billy to show him how serious they were about their feelings for him and Billy found that much like before, he couldn’t say no to his soulmates.

Months passed with Steve and Eddie constantly trying to prove their love of Billy who eventually concedes and moves in with them in the master bedroom. It isn’t long until having Billy in between Steve and Eddie is a norm and no longer a fantasy for Billy and he realizes just how much he didn’t let himself have when he hated himself. With Steve and Eddie’s love, they helped Billy realize he was always worthy of love, care and devotion and that they were ready to spend the rest of their lives together reminding him of that fact.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove au #billy deserved better #billy hargrove deserved better #ellewritesandrants #billy hargrove angst #metalsandwich #metal sandwich #harringroveson #steddilly #stilldie #harringrove #mungrove #some steddie but endgame is harringroveson #billy x eddie #billy x steve #steve harrington #eddie munson

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sadhours · 1 year

Text

neon lights pt. 2 | b.h x reader

18+ minors dni - prev chapter . next chapter contents: adult themes, brief mentions of smut, gambling addiction Your eyes open one at a time, uncovering the blonde sleeping soundly in front of you. You gasp, sitting up abruptly and looking down at your bodies to confirm your suspicion. You’re both naked, covered by your deep purple sheets. Shit, you did it, you slept with your roommate. You two must’ve tripped into it in a drunken stupor. That much is evident as your head pounds and you see the bottle of Jameson more than half empty on your nightstand. You groan, feeling the soreness between your legs and looking over at Billy sleeping without a care in the world next to you. If only you’d remembered it.

“Billy,” you shove him awake, pulling the sheets up to cover your chest. “Billy, wake up!”

He moans out, “Five more minutes, please.”

“No! Billy, we had sex last night. Wake up!” you demand, the dull pain piercing through your head as you yell.

He abruptly sits up, eyes wide now as he peeks under the covers at his lack of clothes. “Maybe we just got naked? Maybe we didn’t actually do it,” he reasons, turning to you with worry in his eyes.

“Oh we did. I can feel it,” you counter.

He rubs his eyebrows between his hand, squinting his eyes shut. Some flashes of the night appearing behind them. Drunken laughs as he propped your leg up, his face between them. He remembers faintly the MTV playing on television as he ate you out, your fingers roughly pulling at his curls. He feels his dick fill out beneath the sheets, pitching a tent for you to see.

You groan, “Oh, god, Billy!”

“I can’t help it!” he says defensively, trying to will the boner away.

“This is bad, we can’t do this,” you tell him, standing up and when he sees your naked figure, he knows his erection isn’t going away anytime soon.

You throw on the first thing you find but Billy’s giving you an awkward smile, “That’s my shirt.”

You take it off and throw it at him, seeing him squirm from his obvious arousal. “Ugh, can you get rid of that thing?!”

Billy gets off the bed, the sheet leaving to reveal his member bouncing as he stands up. Oh, no, he’s huge, you groan. “Billy!” You exclaim and he quickly covers it with his shirt, excusing himself to the bathroom. And then you’re imagining him stroking himself behind the closed door. God this was bad, that’s why this is bad. Billy was not your usual type, he was too pretty. You liked your men a little rough looking, biker dudes usually your go to. Billy was just too attractive for it to not be dangerous. He was the kind of dude you’d throw your whole life away for if he’d asked. Which was not good. You’d had it once before and that man had left because you wouldn’t quit dancing.

When Billy emerges, his hairs wet and you picture him jacking off in the shower. No! You shake your head, pouring yourself a cup of coffee and crack an egg in the pan you’d been heating up.

“Ah, and she cooks breakfast afterwards,” Billy says with a smirk, walking into the kitchen dressed in lounge clothes. You’d wished one of you were scheduled today so you wouldn’t have to talk about what happened.

“Shut up,” you seethe and Billy pours himself a cup of coffee, bringing to his lips and sipping it eagerly.

You grab the creamer from the fridge to sweeten your coffee, slapping Billy’s hand when he reaches for the bacon you’d just pulled out of the pan. It could be so easy to just fall into things since you two already lived together. But you knew what would happen. He smiles when he hears meowing, walking over to the pantry and grabbing a can of cat food and you mentally slap yourself for forgetting to feed her. Billy kneels down in front of her bowl, dumping of the tuna as she rubs against his legs. With a grateful meow aimed at Billy, your cat eats. You hadn’t been the best owner and Billy really picked up your slack.

“Hungry girl, eh Truffle?” he says, scratching behind her ear.

“Slipped my mind,” you curse, flipping your egg and reaching for the pack of smokes on the counter. You light one up as Billy shrugs.

“That’s what I’m here for,” he smiles and takes a cigarette for himself.

The nicotine feels nice but everything else makes you feel a bit nauseous, the first cigarette after a night of drinking was always the worst. You’d noticed the opposite seemed the case for Billy, having the smoke the first thing he did in the morning no matter what the night before was like. You crack another egg into the pan, dishing a plate up for Billy and handing it to him.

“Mm, thank you,” he hums, taking a seat at the table.

You don’t bring it up again until you’re doing the dishes, Billy coming up behind you and pressing sweet kisses up the back of your neck while his hands grab your hips. It feels amazing and in spite of what you know is right, you melt into his touch for a bit. But the moment is short lived, ripping your gloves off and turning to him.

“No, Billy,” you huff, “We can’t do that.”

He sighs and leans on the counter opposite from you, “Why not?”

“Because, it’ll complicate everything. The roommate thing works for me,” you explain. “Plus, we work together and in this line of work, I have to pretend like I want to fuck every man who walks in that building. You can’t possibly want to watch that if we’re romantically involved.”

Billy raises an eyebrow, “I’m a big boy, I’m fully aware of what your job entails.”

You shake your head, “I’m serious, okay? We can’t.”

He thinks for a beat, “Fine. We won’t. Back to business as usual.”

“Thank you,” you say, watching as he walks back to his room where you don’t see him for the rest of the day and that isn’t business as usual. You worry it’s already been ruined.

Luckily, things return to normal. Almost. Billy brings home women more often than before but you’re happy for him. The girls are always a little too loud, you think, screaming behind the paper thin walls. You roll your eyes whenever you hear it, they have got to be faking. You wished you remembered your guys’ night because maybe, just maybe Billy was actually that good. You’d never truly know.

Your sitting on the couch when Billy walks the latest one to the taxi he’d called for her. She’s very pretty, wearing a cocktail dress and very high heels. You wonder if he met her at the casino. He still had a gambling issue, but he wasn’t late on rent ever. Billy never paid for food but you didn’t mind feeding him. He made up for it in more ways than one. He’d been the perfect roommate.

He plops down beside you, cracking open a beer and lighting a cigarette. His face is all flushed with his blonde curls wildly roused but he still looks like those heartthrobs in the teenybopper magazines. It’s his pink, pouty lips and his blue eyes framed by thick eyelashes, you think. He sees you looking at him and asks, “Have I grown a second head or something?”

You scoff, turning your eyes back to the television, “No, you just look like you’ve done some strenuous activity.”

Billy chuckles, taking a swig of his beer after he humbly agrees, “That I did.”

He kicks his feet up on the coffee table and you roll your eyes, at least he took his boots off this time. “Gross,” you chide and snatch the cigarette from him, taking ownership of it. “Thanks for lighting me a cigarette.”

“Yeah, my pleasure,” he mumbles sarcastically, reaching for the Marlboro Reds again.

“Where’d you meet her?” you ask, bored of the rerun playing on the TV.

“Casino,” he whispers, like he’s ashamed of it.

“Oh so she was a hooker,” you joke, eyes still glued to the Gilligan’s Island episode.

“If she was, I got a helluva discount,” he furrows his brow.

You sigh when he says, “Free- ninety nine,” laughing as he does.

You wonder if you never fell victim to gambling because you grew up around it. Occasionally you would toss a couple dollars in a bartop game but you always got bored quick. Billy obviously loved gambling, he did it every single time he left the house. Sometimes you two would carpool when your shifts fell on the same times and after work, Billy would stop at the casino and you’d just sit and watch while you took advantage of the free drinks. You’d always tell him how boring it was to be at casinos. Especially since after work, you’d be all done up still but wearing something comfortable. You often got asked by scraggly men if you were a working girl and you’d run to Billy, begging him to leave. He usually left then, when you told him you were being creeped on. He’d actually been banned from one of the casinos for getting in a fight with a man who grabbed your arm when you tried to leave.

“So did ya win or lose?” you ask, playing with a loose string hanging from your tank top.

“Both,” he shrugs, “Lost money but it was a good night.”

“Speaking of that… power bill is due tomorrow,” you let him know.

“Yeah, I’ll give you my tips tomorrow,” he sighs and gets up, guzzling his beer down and crushing the can in his hand. “I’m going to bed.”

You don’t say anything else as he trails into the kitchen to toss his empty beer away before disappearing into his room.

Billy’s busy behind the bar, it’s packed tonight with a bachelor party and he’s grateful he was blessed with the shift. He’s not exactly who the guys want to order drinks from but he’s making good money anyways. He’s pouring a round of shots, six glasses lined up as he expertly pours the tequila into them.

He hears the song Fascination Street by The Cure and his head jerks up, watching as you emerge to the pole. You’re wearing a leather bikini, hair clipped up as you wrap your fingers around the pole, lifting yourself up and spinning around it elegantly.

“Uh, dude,” he hears and he looks back down to see he’s over poured, tequila spilling down over the glass.

“Shit,” Billy mutters, turning the bottle right side up and setting it down.

“I’d probably do the same if I worked here,” the groom to be levels with him.

“Only do it when this girls on stage,” Billy admits, sliding the line of shots to the group.

“She is hot,” the guy says, the two of them watching as you dance, arching your back as your pressed against the pole.

Billy shakes his head, “It’s 20, for the round.”

The man slips him a 50, “How much for lap dances?”

“Ten,” Billy informs him, sliding his change across the bartop. He desperately doesn’t want to see you on top of this man but he wouldn’t dare stand in the way between you and your money.

You’d told him time and time again that you saw anyone who walked into this place as walking dollar bills. And Billy really had no reason to see it any other way. In the short few months of living together, he’d only seen you bring home one guy and Billy hadn’t ever seen him at the club. He was a biker, who’d Billy had learned to be Trevor. He had hair longer than yours and a beard to compete. Billy had taken note, assuming he wasn’t anywhere close to your type.

“She’s a great dancer,” Billy reluctantly tells the patron. “But buy her a drink first.”

“What does she drink?” the guy asks.

Billy doesn’t answer him, instead pulls out a coupe and grabs a bottle of gin. He’d never met someone who drank gin before you. He makes you a gimlet, having learned it’s your favorite.

“This,” he ushers the drink to the guy as you finish your dance.

“Hey, thanks,” the guy slides Billy the $30, “keep the change.”

It’s a gracious tip, Billy thinks as he tosses the twenty dollar bill in his bucket. He got paid more than your dance, he thinks. That’s why he’s so good at his job, offering these men something they could use whenever they needed. He leans back as you emerge, on the hunt. He lights a Marlboro and watches, the future husband stalking over to you with the drink.

The other bartender walks up to Billy, a smirk on her face. “You two have some game worked out, eh? Making her money and getting her a drink.”

Billy mocks offensiveness, “I’m thinking about our finances.”

“Sure,” she deadpans, grabbing the bottle of Jameson and pouring them shots. Billy had learned of her infatuation with one of the dancers so he related. He cheers his coworker, downing the shot as he watches you straddle the groom.

“Would you just fuck her already?” she chides.

He already has but he wouldn’t tell a soul. He kept it in his back pocket. He serves a few more people during your lap dance. He’s polishing a glass when you sit at the bar.

“That fucking guy is unbelievable,” you vent, “Telling me all about his fiancé with my tits in his face.”

“Aw, cut him some slack,” Billy pouts, pouring you a shot. “He was very impressed by your stage dance.”

“Not enough to throw me a dollar,” you challenge, grabbing the glass but giving Billy a pointed look.

“I literally just took a shot,” he counters.

“It’s no fun drinking alone,” you scold him, calling out to the other bartender, “Becky! Shot!”

She runs over, grabbing two glasses and pouring Jameson into them.

Billy is set in his ways, “We just took one!”

“And someone lost $200 at The Flamingo, take a god damn shot,” Becky admonishes Billy.

“Two hundred dollars?!” you exclaim, giving Billy a look of disappointment.

“Shut up, I’m making it up tonight,” he says, raising the glass to you.

The three of you cheers and down the shots. Becky smiles at you, “Billy had some notes about your dance,” and she bounces away just as quick.

Billy groans, “This fuckin’ bitch. No notes, you did as good as you always do.”

“So you’re watching,” you tease, reaching over to snag the cigarette pack from his jacket pocket.

“Hard not to,” he admits, leaning against the counter.

“I’m good at my job,” you frown, the alcohol pumping through you fueling the flirting.

“Maybe a little too good,” Billy gestures towards the groom walking over with a fifty dollar bill in his hand.

“One more shot, please,” you beg and Billy doesn’t argue, he drove tonight anyways. He pours you a shot of Jameson, thinking about how frisky whiskey made you.

“Ew! Pickle back, now,” you demand and he obliges. He reaches into his pocket for the pack of Big Red and hands you a stick. “Nobody wants pickle breath in their face.”

“Asshole,” you spit but take shot, sliding the piece of gum into your mouth. You jump off the barstool and guide the groom into the private room.

Billy sighs, Becky settling beside him. “You’re obvious, ya know.”

“I am not,” Billy scoffs, wiping the bar with a rag.

Becky looks at him, “Why don’t you just tell her how you feel? I mean, have you ever hit on her?”

“We had sex two weeks ago,” Billy admits without looking at her.

“What?!” Becky shrieks,

“She said we couldn’t do that, that everything was perfect the way it was,” Billy shrugged, attempting to not look bothered.

“How was it?” Becky asks.

“What I remember, it was awesome,” Billy admits.

She groans, “You gotta do it sober or it doesn’t count.”

“That’s stupid,” Billy sighs but his attention is distracted as a group of women walk into the club. “Hi, ladies,” he cheers, gesturing to the empty bar.

When you exit the private rooms, you’re fifty dollars richer and stoked about it. You try not to pay attention to Billy flirting with the bar full of women as you walk up.

Becky catches you, “Another drink?”

“Yeah,” you sigh.

She walks to Billy, poking his side before pointing to you. Billy reaches for the bottle of gin and you push down the thoughts of adoration. He causally hands you the gimlet, winking at you as he does so.

“Tip me when I’m on stage,” you plead, grabbing your drink.

You make your way to the dressing room, changing into your second outfit, a bright red lacy number. You grab your heels out of your bag, the cherry red color a perfect compliment to the rest of the get up. You smear red lipstick on your lips and tease your hair up.

“Dirty, Rotten, Filthy, Stinky!” you hear the crowd sing along and that’s you’re cue. You head the the stage, ready to put on the show of your life.

You strut out, eyes catching the cute bartender as you wrap your hands around the pole. He gives you a wink, your ankle hooking around the pole, swinging you around.

“Cherry pie!” You hear Billy wail, fueling your moves.

Billy’s eyes follow your every movement as he tries to multitask, taking money from the group of women.

“I’d love to see you up on that stage,” he hears. He stops to lean in front of her.

“Too bad they don’t do a ladies night, I’d be up there in a heartbeat,” Billy winks to her.

The group of women were almost like jackpot to him. It wasn’t often women came in the place but when they did, Billy easily made rent in one night. You were thankful, watching from the stage. He wouldn’t have to fork over the entirety of his earnings for bills. The jealousy you feel as you see him kiss the hand of the one ladies is another thing you’ll push down, deal with at another time.

As you exit the stage, you’re anticipating a slow down of lap dances. It was late, maybe three AM. You recall the other night, falling asleep on the couch, cuddling with Billy. You want a repeat of that night, even if you shoved him off of you when you pretended to notice. But in fact, you’d felt so at home in his arms.

When the two of you finally get home, you press a palm against Billy’s cheek. “I’m proud of you for not taking a detour to a casino.”

“You look tired,” he tells you.

“I am,” but you lace your fingers in his, dragging him to your bedroom. He comfortably pulls his converse off, kicking them aside as he shimmies out of his jeans and lays back on your mattress. You change into your pajamas, which is just a baggy shirt and comfortable underwear. Then, you crawl into bed beside Billy, sighing happily as he wraps an arm over you. You curl up into him, your legs intertwining. This isn’t suggestive, you tell yourself. Billy places what you pretend is a friendly kiss on your forehead. And you fall asleep easily in his arms. You hated to admit you struggled without it. The cuddling was becoming an almost nightly occurrence. Whenever he didn’t bring home a girl. You rarely brought Trevor home with you. Billy had only met him twice in the few months.

“Goodnight, beautiful,” Billy mumbles against your ear.

When you wake, it’s because there’s morning wood pressed against your ass. And instead of faking disgust, as you had before, you rub against it. You hear a pleasant but sleepy moan in your ear, encouraging you. Billy’s asleep but rouses slightly as he feels the movement against him.

You two have the day off again, you remember. You could spend the entirety of it pulling sweet orgasms from each other if you wanted. Which in spite of your strict personal interest, you do. The way he was watching you dance all night had you sincerely wanting him. You thought, Hell, he deserved it. He could’ve hand any of those women last night, but you’d actually seen him turn them down.

You turn over to look at his face, really studying it. God damn he’s so handsome. You let his attractiveness push your actions further, your palm pressing against his erection. You see him smile, activity behind his eyelids telling you he’s awake. You don’t look away from his face once he slowly opens his eyes, groping him through his briefs.

“Good morning,” his low voice greets you, the sound of it sending another ripple of arousal through you.

Everything about this fucking guy drove you wild and you hated it. God was cruel, dropping this fate into your lap when you thought you were perfectly content. “Morning,” you croak out, your eyes still scanning over his gorgeous face while you palm at him.

He smiles, perfect teeth peeking through and it’s like a punch to the gut.

“And to what do I owe this pleasure to?” his sleepy voice chirps.

“How stupidly hot you are,” you seethe, sliding your hand into his underwear to get a better handle on him.

“Ugh,” he moans, his eyes rolling back.

“Look at me,” you demand and Billy obeys, correcting his eyes to meet yours. The brightness of them is spine-tingling. The prettiest blue you’ve ever seen. “You know how good looking you are?”

He chuckles, “I’ve been told.”

“It’s not fair,” you tell him, “I don’t want to be involved with anyone. I don’t want to deal with that shit, but you’re so fucking hot it drives me insane.”

You bring your palm to your mouth and lick it, wrapping around Billy’s girth again and stroking him slowly.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, eyes fluttering shut.

The power you have is something you’re used to, you deeply want him to take over. To pin you down and make you fall apart beneath him. But this is familiar enough that you continue, a little too shy to tell him what you want.

“You’re used to it, huh?” you challenge him, fingers wrapped around the base of his cock as you squeeze him. He chokes out another moan. “So used to women throwing themselves at you.”

Billy’s a tad uncomfortable due to your words, it almost sounded spiteful and he wasn’t sure if he liked it. He knew he liked how you were touching him but you sounded angry and that wasn’t something he liked. The praise was nice, though. He liked when people told him how attractive he was.

“Why do you sound so angry?” he asks, his eyes looking into yours.

“Because I am,” you retort, “I was perfectly fine with everything before you came here.”

Billy grabs your wrist, his face contorting in confusion.

“No one’s forcing you to touch my dick, ya know,” he says, peeling you away.

“Wait- Billy,” you sighs, “I’m sorry. I’m just… I don’t know. I feel like it’s such a bad idea to do this but fuck, I want you so desperately.”

He sits up, rubbing his face in his hands.

“Well I apologize that I don’t find it super arousing to be talked down to like that.”

“Billy…” you sit up, looking to him. You can’t say anything else, not sure what to do or what to say.

“Hey, you either want me or you don’t,” Billy adjusts himself under the sheets and your ego is a little bruised when you notice he’s no longer hard. “You’re probably right. This is a bad idea and the both of us need to get a fucking handle on it if we’re gonna live together.”

He’s out of your room before you can comprehend what just happened. He’s right, though. You really needed to keep your feelings in check. You and Billy couldn’t be together.

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