#this hurt me so fucking bad to write oh my godddd
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this or that | tropes n stuff
tagged as blorbo in their notes by @pimenita on my main, @h-doodles but i like to answer them here on my side blog which has. a semblance of a tag system 🤡 so mrrp thank <3
MOVING ON PLEASE I AM SO EMO ABOUT TROPES CATCH ME WEEPING:
slow burn or love at first sight (BARK BARK BARK BARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!) // fake dating or secret dating (I would honestly like either but secret dating tops far than fake dating because bruh. being rather private individuals and running around the friend group my beloved) // ENEMIES TO LOVERS or best friends to lovers (PLEASEEEEE. LITERALLY I AM OUT HERE WITH A DEEP LOVE OF ENEMIES ESP IF THEY'RE UNREPENTANT, REDHEADS WOMEN WHO CAN KICK MY ASS 🤡) // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence (BARKING SOOOOO BAD FOR THIS HONESTLY) // hurt-comfort or amnesia (IT'S ABOUT THE TRAGEDY TO MEEEEEEE I WANT A DEEP GOOD CRY AND GET THEM BLORBOS TOGETHER) // fantasy au or modern au (I AM PERSONALLY BITING BC YES. I DO LOVE ME MY AUs) // mutual pining or domestic bliss (ENEMIES TO LOVERS ACTUAL PINING IDIOTS TO CLUMSY GETTING TOGETHERS TO DOMESTIC BLISS SLOW BURN ALWAYS. ALWAYS!!!!!!!!) // smut or fluff (watch me read smut with a stone cold expression on MY face and blush like a bitch reading fluff the next <3) // canon-compliant or fix-it (fanfic exists as a love letter to canon but at this point the fandoms i've been in. THEY ARE A HATE LETTER to the creators who frequently sidelined chemically stable potential wlw and other lgbt ships and rep. which is honestly a very very different experience with James Shaw. anything I create for the Relics Trilogy is a love letter of thanks not only to him but to my beloved fictional group of blorbos <3) // reincarnation or character death (pls character death???? i LOVE it when done properly!!!! NOT TO MENTION THE ANGST....... MMMMM YES THE ANGST,,,,,, but REINCARNATION... LITERALLY TRANSCENDING TIME AND SPACE WITH A LOVE THAT LASTS... AND FINDING THEM BECAUSE ONE LIFETIME IS NOT ENOUGH-- I AM SO EMO ABOUT IT!!!!!!!) // one-shot or multi-chapter (writing wise i WISH i could keep my ideas as oneshots but as a reader PLS. LONGER THE BETTER and this is why i am die whenever i find a long fic that is both compelling AND finished bc. good godddd you cannot imagine the pain of seeing the date of the last update. yes i will comment completely about the fic gushing with praise but thats just abt it) // kid fic or road trip fic (PLEASE DOMESTIC BLISS WITH THEIR KIDS,,,,,,,,,,,, SCREAMING SHAKING CRYING) // arranged marriage or accidental marriage (listen i could wax poetic all day abt these two in fics but AUGHHHHHH mawwiage 🥺) // high school romance or middle aged romance (I COULD GO WITH EITHER but rn i am sooooo emo abt María so am going with this one) // time travel or isolated together (covid fucked me up about being isolated and i think i would have so many problems so catch me whip and naenae) // neighbours or roommates (oh my god.... and they were roomamates!!!) // sci-fi au or magic au (once again i am out here with AUs and honestly at this point idc i am just hoarding all the AUs and thats the tea) // Body swap or Gender bend (but only provisionally) // ANGST or crack (AW YISSSSSSS GIMME THE SPICY ANGST I NEED TO SCREAM AND SHAKE AND CRY AND THROW UP ABOUT IT OR BUST,,, but honestly i also LOVE crack actually <3 wish fulfillment of OP and BAMF MC) // apocalyptic or mundane (rn?? looking for peace and i am out here)
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tagging the blorbo in my notes (if thats okay and you too, would like to answer): @jamesshawgames @haniiebeedraws @mira-shard @twins-born-in-a-new-moon @sylencr @slytherincursebreaker @sateenkaari-dragon @catohphm
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the blank template:
slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane
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You spam me a bit on the last one of these, so now I spam you! *Evil laugh*
😊🥰📚😂😭💖✨🔁
aaaaaaaaaa okay fine maybe i deserve this 😂
😊 A fic that made you smile on a bad day
answered here!
🥰 A fic that gives you warm fuzzy feelings
answered here!
I'm... going to put the rest of this under a read more I think, there are too many questions 😂
📚 A fic you wish you could display on your bookshelf
Ugh, i love everything about this fic. the plot, pacing, concept, characterization, setting..... EVERYTHING. the readability (is that a word? i'm making it a word) is great and I remember reading it towards the beginning of my JATP journey, so there's an undertone of nostalgia involved with this one, too!
Fic summary:
“Oh! Apparently, there are 36 questions that are designed to make anyone fall in love with anyone,” Reggie says, eyes wandering over the page. “That sounds easy.”
Luke peers at the article and snorts.
“Yeah, right. You mean to tell me that if I do these with Bobby’s dad, I will fall in love with him? Sounds likely.”
Reggie shrugs, a grin tugging at his lips when he meets Luke’s eyes.
“We could try it. Scared to actually fall in love with me, Patterson?”
or, Luke takes Reggie on a camping trip to the woods in an attempt to cure his writer's block and gets a little more than he bargained for.
by @sunsetcurveofficial / goodluckgettingtosleep on ao3
😂 A fic that made you laugh out loud
This one makes me laugh because, while it does have some funny moments, I also actually just laugh that there’s angst in it at all, and that it’s my fault 😂
Fic Summary: Luke hears a rumor about Julie, and decides to confront her. Silliness ensues.
by @valiantlyweepingdreamer / BoyMom on ao3
😭 A fic that ripped your heart out (but it hurt so good)
OH MY GODDDD, this fic 😭😭😭
Any fic that deals with Luke running away/Luke's feelings in general, I tend to gravitate towards, because those are also the kinds of fics I like to write. But THIS ONE... definitely one of my favorites, and it's one that I don't think I've talked about too much.
The whole journey this fic goes through, of Luke navigating his feelings about running away and letting his friends be there for him, is AMAZING.
Fic Summary:
Reggie studies him for a moment; Luke can practically hear the cogs turning in his head. He squints his eyes and tilts his head a few degrees before asking: “Do you think you made a mistake, Luke?”
There’s no judgement in his voice, no expectation for a certain answer, just pure curiosity, and maybe a hint of friendly concern. Luke lets out a frustrated groan before throwing his hands up.
“I don’t know! There are, like, wanted posters out for me, Reg!” he exclaims, voice pitched embarrassingly high. “Doesn’t that mean the police are involved? There’s probably a huge investigation going on or something. Fuck.”
-
or, being a teenage runaway is harder than it looks. luke would tell you that he’s handling it pretty well, given the circumstances. his friends would tell you that’s a blatant, bold-faced lie. but don’t worry—they’re working on it.
by @cassiopeiakaleidoscope / cassiopeiakaleidoscope on ao3
💖 A drabble that made you want 100K more words
i don’t think this qualifies as a drabble but i absolutely would read a 100,000 word version of THIS ONE
Fic Summary: Bobby has some Thoughts, and Luke won’t leave him alone until they’re gone.
by @tillstarscollided / tillstarscollided on ao3
(seriously emi WHERE'S THE LUKEBOBBY FIC OP 👀😂)
and!! i actually have two answers to this!
THIS ONE THIS ONE THIS ONE
Fic Summary: Bobby is a winter sunrise, and Luke is happy to revolve around him.
Ughhh @valiantlyweepingdreamer I need several thousand more words of this one too, please 😂
✨ A fic you wish you could read again for the first time
this one……… one of my favorites ever <3
Fic Summary:
“It’s three in the morning, Luke!” The phone on her nightstand glows brightly, a sharp contrast to the rest of the room. It takes the blue light boring into her brain, forcibly waking it up, for the situation to sink in. When Julie turns back to Luke, her outrage has faded into alarm. “What’s going on?”
Thunder rumbles in the distance; a lightning flash illuminates Luke’s face. Ice water floods Julie’s stomach, drenching her like the storm outside. She‘s never seen Luke so frightened before — not about the jolts, not about crossing over, not even when he remembers dying. Luke isn’t afraid of things, usually. Tonight, he looks terrified.
“It’s Reggie,” Luke says, shaking his head. “You gotta come. Something’s wrong.”
( side effects of coming back from the dead may include...
4. you can get sick. really sick. )
by @julies-butterflies / thessalonike (starblessed) on ao3
and finally...
🔁 A fic you’ve re-read several times
The Luke and Ray dynamic is so beloved to me… I don’t even know why, I just love them 😂
Fic Summary:
Luke doesn’t know when his mom yelling at him became preferable to the quiet conversations, the ones where she’d squeeze his knee and remind him that she wasn’t mad, that she loved him, that she just didn’t understand why he kept putting his music before her and their relationship.
All he knows is that when he was younger, her approval meant everything, and when she’d choose soft words and a softer tone over harsh tellings off, it would dig deep, but it was a relief, not to be yelled at.
Please pay heed to the trigger warnings
by @a-tomb-with-a-view / A_Tomb_With_A_View on ao3
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shattered | csi miami ; r.wolfe
A/N ; So this one is... an angst fest. There is no happy ending, either. This comes from a talk with a friend of mine who's wonder at how Ryan would take a breakup/cheating and like... It's just bitter. But it's something I haven't done much -and am probably not good at at all btw, but I've been dying to branch out, so this is kind of a tester to me doing that.
Anyway, if i had to suffer this idea when it came after the talk in question, damn it... you guys are getting dragged down with me.
Pairing ; Ryan Wolfe x Cheating!Fem reader
Timeline / Other Stuff to Note ; This has no timeline benchmarks to follow. And it is not connected to any of the prior works I've done featuring Ryan Wolfe and reader, either.
Tag List ; @justmeandanoverdrive @beardedbarba and @uncrownedmox are the only people currently on my csi taglist. if you'd like to be added to my taglists for anything and I mean anything including CSI Miami, please let me know or add yourself -> here.
Warnings ; Angst, oh my godddd. Listen if you're here for a happy ending, this ain't it, chief. Cheating. Hints that reader is maybe a little self destructive / has abandonment issues. That's it. I strongly advise you not to read this if you're lookin for sunshine and daisies, loves.
Other Stuff ; tag list doc || my rules - fandoms and some characters I write for || requests are open (pls.. pls... send me things) but they're limited to headcanon asks + filth/fluff alphabet letters and I'm not accepting wrestling / wrestlers in my ask box. Any other fandom/character but wrestling that I happen to write for is fine and I beg of you -> send me things.
I do not consent to my work being reposted elsewhere or copied/reworked/rewritten and reposted here or elsewhere. You don't own this, I do. So like... don't steal my shit.
“I thought we had something!” Ryan drags his hand over the back of his head as he says it, pacing in front of you. His voice breaks you. He sounds so hurt, so... fucking tortured. It's killing him and you can tell by the sound of his voice. It's killing you too. You can’t even look him in the eyes, that’s how ashamed you are of what you’ve done. But you’ve always had certain self-destructive tendencies and when things were going way too damn good for you, it made you so uneasy. To a point where you were walking on eggshells and the tension was there, thick and heavy; waiting to choke you down.
Every single time you’d barely manage to get a grip on the intrusive thoughts in your head, they’d start up again, louder. More intrusive. More damaging until you couldn’t possibly ignore them all. This is what led you to the bar after a fight between the two of you got particularly nasty -mostly your own fault, and that’s when things went from bad to worse.
“Why him, huh? Why’d you sleep with him?” Ryan questions, throwing up his hands in the air when you don’t respond and you won’t even look him in the eyes. You’ve been silent and distant for weeks now, everybody’s caught on to the tension between you. They’ve been asking what’s wrong for a while now and Ryan hasn’t been able to give any kind of an answer because he thought everything was fine.
The alcohol wasn’t an excuse but it was the only reason you could give. “I didn’t love him. I-I..” you rub at your forehead and sigh, blowing at fallen strands of hair. “It just happened. We had that fight…”
That wasn’t any better than trying to use alcohol as an excuse.
You did the only thing you’ve ever known.
You rushed down the hall and into the bedroom you’ve shared with him since you moved in together and you grabbed all your necessities. And the whole time you were shoving clothes into a trash bag, your mind was taunting, nagging at you nonstop. Pointing out every flaw. Coaxing you into the belief that it was just better this way all around. Sooner or later you wouldn’t have been enough ; you never seem to be.
Sooner or later, Ryan would’ve left you too. Just like everybody else who's ever claimed to love you. Your mind won’t stop and the more you think, the madder you get. At your own headspace, at the fucked up way you really are, at the people who made you this way and about losing Ryan. Because you’re not stupid. There is no happy ending.
Ryan can’t trust you anymore. Trust is everything to Ryan.
Your eyes catch on a framed picture of you two taken at the holiday party held at the station. You’re sitting on his lap and you look so happy. As if nothing can touch you, as if you haven’t gone and completely tainted everything because you’re so fucking emotionally stunted somehow that fucking a random guy in a bar is easier than sitting the man you love with all your heart down and telling him everything.
It shouldn’t be this way.
You don’t want to lose him.
But you did this to yourself. You’re the one who took matches to the one good thing you had going for you and now you’re watching it burn.
You wind up screaming in frustration and when you drop the picture -purely by accident, purely because you caught sight of him standing in the bedroom door and just watching you pack, the glass shatters into pieces on the floor. And you want to say it’s symbolic. You want to say this is a sign if there ever was any.
But the pain is overwhelming.
It’s raw and it’s real.
You grab the bag you’ve shoved all your clothes into and you’re on your way out the bedroom door but Ryan stops you and he looks crushed. Broken. He actually looks like he’s trying not to cry himself.
“Why’d you do it? I thought...” he trails off and drags his hand over the back of his head. Every part of him, despite you coming home and telling him where you've been while he was worried sick... He should be angry but all he can feel right now is pain. Overwhelming. "I thought we had something, damn it. Did you ever give a shit at all?"
And just like earlier when he asked the same question, you can’t answer it.
Because you don’t know what to tell him. You don’t know how to fix what you’ve done so the best thing to do for now is just to leave it as is.
Like that broken frame on the dresser where you left it. In lots of little pieces.
#ryan wolfe#ryan wolfe fanfiction#ryan wolfe fanfic#ryan wolfe imagine#ryan wolfe oneshot#ryan wolfe x fem!reader#// cheating#// angst#// i swear on God... the next piece i write for him will be happy.#// and maaaybe a lil spicy.
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(Hats ch7)
OOHHH HOHOHOHOOHOOOO ANGELDUO TIMEEE
GODDD
THEY WERE ALL SUCH A FAMILY WTF I WANT TO CRY WTF WTF WTF WTF SOBS CRIES WAILS OHKYGODDD
Oh god not the sandwich scene oh god oh fuck oh fucking fuck fuck oh my god oh no
IM GOING TU CRY AAAAAAAA
Look . I know im supposed to be angry at phil but i love him sm in this fic shfkgkg its so funny picturing his expression whenever he sees tommy DJGKGK bug eyed fr
THEYRE SO AWKWARD IM SCREAMINGGKGLFLSJFF
PHILS SUCH A DUMBASS I CANTJDKF 😭😭😭😭
"A sketchbook... why would u need a sketchbook" SIR DHFKGL
Theyre both dumbasses i love them tho
DHFJGKGG HES SO HAPPY THAT TOMMY DRAWS IM GONNA SCREAMFKGKGG
DUMBASS /POS
I love aeduo sm [sobs]
IM GOING TO CRYYYY
ANGELDUO MAKE ME SO FRAGILE AND WEAK SOBS
IM IN SO MUCH PAINNM
PHILS READING SM INTO IT DHFKGKG HES SUCH A NERD I LOVE HIM
I love them sm :( sobs cries wails
WIL-
SUPGIFJRGLGLD
IM SCREAMIGNGKDKLGG
THEYRE BROTHERS
QUACKITEEE
DGJLVGKKBLCKVKFF SCREAMINGIGKDKDKGG
BENCHTRIOOOOO EUEUEUDBCJC I LOVE CLINGYDUIO SM MAN
U WRITE THEM SO WELL
I LOVE HOW SUPPORTIVE THEY ALL ARE OF HIM IM GONNANSAJFKFKF CRYYY
Lmfao i love techno
Hes hilarious lmfao ur good at writing humour
Omg is this the power outage chap
IT ISSS OMG
THEY DANCEDDDD EUEUEURUDJFOGK :(((
I never knew how much I needed crimeboys dancing in my life until i read it here ohmygoodness theyre soo:((
the thing about phil in this fic is that yes you can be angry with him but also he's not a bad guy per se!! he fucked up in a lot of ways but he's also just a Guy. he wasn't trying to hurt tommy, he was just put in a very difficult situation and didn't handle it like he should've. also, yes, he went absolutely bug-eyed when tommy showed up at his door lmao
they're sooooo awkward just tripping into intense borderline arguments before being like "uh let's not go into that actually" and changing the subject
they're so brothers even quackity gets confused
i love writing clingyduo man I don't focus on their banter a lot but godddd it's so much fun ty i'm glad you enjoy how i write that group
thank you!! honestly I wish writing humor held my attention as much as writing more serious stuff did because I have a lot of fun writing humor and I'm sure you guys would enjoy it if I wrote a more lighthearted goofy fic. alas I like hurt/comfort too much so you just get funny quips here and there instead. I love writing techno's humor especially even if I put a lot of pressure on myself to get his voice right
the power outage chapter 😭 I know I mentioned this in the end notes of that chapter but I was so mad about my power going out when I was showering I just HAD to include it when I was writing the end of the chapter and it turned out so well I love that scene
crimeboys dancing is so self-indulgent for me specifically I'm so glad you enjoy it
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Supergirl Season 1 Episode 4 Review and Thoughts
Ahh the greatest of beasts. One's own mother
Fun choice of words there Alex “coming out” as Supergirl.
Is Kara actually the favorite? Damn not usually what happens in foster/broken families situations
Oh my God I love this Leslie bitch roasting her.
“SHE DOES KIND OF GIVE OFF A SAPHIC VIBE” okay I never watched season 1. But thats two “Kara you gay?” jokes in 4 episodes. Thats a lot by tv standards
Also yes Leslie she is very butch and I am thankful for it
W: How was breakfast with your mom?
K: Foster mom
*me nodding and taking notes*
Oh no not a friendsgiving episode lol
Oh my god even Cat Grant is on to Supergirl's sexuality.
C: Leslie you can’t make fun of the girl for being gay
K: *listening in with super hearing* Wait what
Cat wants to adopt Supergirl thats canonical and hilarious
K: “I came out as Supergirl”
Just as soon as they brought James in as a love interest they pull him out. Because I guess he and Lucy have unfinished business
Wouldn’t this have made more sense to have him already dating Lucy in the beginning, and cultivate his and Kara’s relationship. And then Kara have a one sided crush before they break James and Lucy up? Or even them not realizing their romantic inclinations until after the break up?
It feels clunky the way they’re going back n forth like this.
Poor Alex and her mommy issues.
K: Maybe its time for you to come out. Tell her who you really are
A: That im a DEO agent?
K: …….. *shrugs*
When you know your sisters gay but she doesn't
Cat being supportive in her own catty way to her first daughter Leslie
Oh my fucking god it is PERD
Gotta love hearing Kara's foster mom talk about “Alex allowing Kara” to do anything. Its controlling as fuck. Also the disappointment in Alex hurts my little mommy issues heart
So far Leslie Wilis is the only interesting villain they've made
Drink up Alex you're going to need more than that
I wonder what Thanksgiving means to someone like Kara? Someone whose lost so much but gained family anyways.
Feels kind of weird for Kara to put so much into friendsgiving dinner but as soon as James calls its like “fuck all of you”
We are all Winn. First time in years he's done Thanksgiving and it's super awkward. Poor guy just wanted some turkey and chill time with Kara. And now there is drinking and arguing and storming out. Big oof
Honestly fuck Eliza
Godddd this flashback hurts. It feels like real foster/broken family shit. Everything is new and yet the dynamics are being thrust upon everybody. Someone whose supposed to look after you but is only a few years older and never had any siblings is now a big sister. You’ve got two adults who aren’t really your parents trying to parent you. You’re different from all of them but you're expected to fit in. And you can’t go anywhere. You’re stuck. Bitch imma have a flashback
I love how Cat doesn't know who winn is
Ooooh I dig Livewire shes sick af
Nothing better than a villain whose like “naw im actually good like this. Like you should have seen me before”
Who thought getting in an elevator was a good idea when the person who can control electricity wants you dead?
Whoever plays Cat Grant is a really good actress. Again a very meaningful scene between her and Kara in this episode. And it got delivered perfectly. It's almost as if when the writers take the time to slow down the writing makes sense and is better??
Something something Cat Grant is Karas unofficial mother figure something something wanting to gain her approval something something desperately wanting to connect to her something something their bond
Wow this is the first episode where Kara independently actually took down the bad guy
Aww i loved what winn was grateful for. That was a really nice moment
Andddd he kissed her. Of course he did
Cat picking out the tabloid of the week: Which would you pick? The closeted teen heart throb who was caught slipping out of national city’s randiest gay bar?
There is a lott of closetted talk in this episode. Also baby lena luthor lol
Overall Thoughts
This is the first episode I’ve watched that I thought was actually good. Sorry Episode 1.
Of course this is also the episode with the least amount of DEO involvement which I’m pretty open about not liking and thinking is a boring plot device
Lets make our way down the list.
Live wire is the first interesting villain we’ve had. Very reminiscent of Smallvilles what would happen kind of character creation. She’s a person with a personality outside of being a prisoner in Fort Rozz. And she has a clear motive for being the way she is and acting how she does. That already sets us up for success in this episode. Especially with her clear contrast to Supergirl’s sunny demeanor.
Its Thanksgiving! Which means the characters actually get to interact besides one liners and fun crime busting shenanigans. We get meaningful dialogue with each person in Kara’s life. And not necessarily with her! Last but not least we finally get to meet Kara’s foster mother, Eliza, for the first time.
One of the best things about this episode was acknowledging parts of Kara’s Earth childhood. We get to see her new family dynamic and uh it doesn’t look all happy go lucky the way she makes things seem.
I’m glad its finally a conversation though since I feel it took them far too long to get to. It felt strange to just ignore such an important part of Kara’s story and life and just skip to her getting Cat coffees. Not only did it feel weird but I felt like it would’ve been more interesting filler for episodes 1-3. That helped us to understand/relate to Kara and Alex better. As well as tie into defeating our Villain of the Day instead of whatever plan the DEO basically just tells Kara to do.
Another point! This is the first episode where Kara defeats her opponent on her own. I’m not so much counting the plane from ep1. But the two Fort Rozz guys as well as “I hate superman” radioactive guy were all taken down because of the DEO. It was their plan or their information that took those guys down even if Kara did the heavy lifting. Which I hate because like isn’t this her show? Shouldn’t she be the one like figuring things out, coming up with plans that fail only to figure out something at the very last minute? It feels very much like she's just doing what she's told in the first three episodes. It feels like she doesn’t have as much autonomy as other heroes.
But in this one! Yes the DEO gives her a magic box thingy that's supposed to take down Livewire. But Kara is the one who agreed to work with Cat as bait. She's the one defeats Livewire with water. I don’t care if it's pulled out of someone ass at least she did it herself. This and the plane are the only things Kara has decided to fucking do herself without anyones help.
Cat Grant and her involvement in this episode is one of the tipping factors as to why its better than the others. Her relationship with her own mother paralleling her and Leslie's relationship was really nice. As well as this hopeful end to that conversation with the concept that Kara is like Cat’s second chance at getting it right. I really enjoyed that.
Finally coming full circle at the end of the episode where Kara has a moment with Cat, then Winn, then James, and finally her sister and foster mother. It makes sense for a thanksgiving episode but is also classic soap opera formatting that oddly enough the show needs more of. I would not expect myself to be saying that a show mostly about the Wam Bam Pow needs more drama but here I am.
And then of course another classic drama trope. We end with a cliff hanger and new reason to tune in next time. Jeremiah's death is revealed and now the girls have a mystery to solve.
I wouldn’t usually rely so heavily on these tv devices, but because the writers have done little to make me care about characters that I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW. Its kind of become one of those things. If you’re not making your viewer tune in because they love/relate to the characters, then you have to do it with the story.
Right now we have the overarching plot of General Astra and probably Zod if I’m right. And then the disappearance/death of Jeremiah. Thats our plot outside of our Villain of the Day thing we’re doing right now with Fort Rozz.
Final Note. There was like 6 times where the word “closeted” was thrown around like candy from a pinata. And the episode started with Kara’s sexuality not just being scrutinized but argued that she was saphic. This doesn’t feel like a joke. It feels like someone really wanted something in the writers room. Like most media with subtext I’m like “I mean it’ll be gay but it won’t be gay gay”. But I gotta say that kind of stuff toes the line
#supergirl#cw supergirl#kara danvers#kara zor-el#s1 ep4#episode review#episode thoughts#text#textpost#tv show#cw show
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WOAH WOAH is your MHA reqs open?? So I wanted to request a Todoroki x Reader Angst where Todoroki sees his s/o getting stabbed by a villain with countless sharp spears like in Chiaki’s death video in danganronpa along with 1-A and just loses it? I’m sorry I’m craving for angst rn ✨✨ also love your writing and remember to stay safe <33 💕💗
My requests are open yes!! I have actually missed receiving them (and tbf I’m prolly not getting them because I’m doing daily updates on History of Us hahaha). So thanks for the request anon. I’m also really touched that you love my writing 🥰 I hope this lives up to your impression of me!
I had never seen danganropa but I just looked up what you were talking about and w o w I am in ✨pain✨ 🥲 I’ve got you anon. It’s going to hurt but I got you. Did I drag out (y/n)’s last words? Yes. Would they realistically already have died before saying all that I have them say? Probably. But this is fanfic and if movie writers can do it then goddamn it so can I!
CW for angst, somewhat graphic description of major character injury and death (reader), non-major character death, and canon typical violence
Nothing has been the same since the fall of the hero commission and the loss of faith in the Symbol of Peace’s generation of heroes. It’s been two years since Shigaraki wreaked havoc and Dabi exposed Endeavor’s crimes. As pros unused to that level of violence retired or quit, hero class students have been forced to step up and fill in the spaces they left behind. As a result, even as their faith in the pros waned, the public started to see the students as a beacon of hope. All Might, they whisper, spoiled the current generation of heroes. They argue that Endeavor is now too old to keep up, that Hawks and Mirko are too burdened by their mentors’ failures, and all the heroes aged in between are too used to the relative peace of the golden era to be effective. These current students though? Students like the famous UA hero class A, now third years who’ve already seen so much? They are the new hope. They’d grown up in the fires of a post-symbol of peace era and as such they are the only ones who can drag society out of it. It would be flattering if not for the overwhelming pressure that comes along with it.
Shoto thinks he would have been crushed beneath that pressure if not for you.
The two of you had started growing close your first year during the provisional license exam make up classes. Spending so much additional time together over the weekend had allowed Shoto to slowly open up to you until a beautiful friendship had blossomed. Even still, both of you had secretly yearned for something more. It was only after the destruction of Jaku City and the Todoroki family secrets were aired to the whole of Japan that the two of you finally acted on your feelings. You’d been such a source of support for him afterwards that eventually he hadn’t been able or willing to hold back any longer and had confessed his feelings to you late one night in the dorms. The two of you have been together ever since and fully intend to open a hero agency together after graduation. He knows the two of you are still young but sometimes when he looks at you with your blinding smile or when you’re sleeping peacefully beside him, he swears he can hear wedding bells. If the civilians of Japan can consistently forget how young you all are as they urge you to take over for the pros, then it seems only fair he should be able to forget too.
His mother was ecstatic when he asked her about engagement rings. Endeavor had said it was too early, that marriage is too large a commitment to make at 18 years old, but Shoto insisted and eventually a compromise was reached. He’ll wait until after graduation but then he’s determined to make you his forever and always.
It’s an otherwise normal Saturday afternoon in the dorms when Iida and Momo get an urgent distress signal to gather the entirety of the class and head into the city. A large group of ragtag criminals, determined to become the next League of Villains, is terrorizing Musutafu and the number of casualties is climbing rapidly. The other heroes usually responsible for that area had been called away to handle a different disaster and all attempts made by the civilians to defend themselves had only led to more chaos. The entire class mobilized in seconds. Calls like this aren’t uncommon now. The villains have been banding together more and their bloodlust seems to have grown exponentially with civilians’ continued lack of trust in the current pros. By the time you all arrive to the scene there’s no time to waste. “Be careful,” you tell Shoto, carefully running a hand through his hair before resting it on his cheek. He brings his hand up to cover yours before promising, “I will.” He presses a kiss to your palm but before he can do more Bakugo sharply barks “Hurry it up lovebirds we got a fucking job to do!” before racing off. You both know he’s right. “I love you,” you tell Shoto. “Love you too,” he promises before you both steel yourselves and then take off into the fray.
It’s an absolutely grueling battle. Every time someone takes one villain down, another comes to take their place. “Pinky! On your left!” you call out, causing your classmate to sharply turn. Mina just manages to dodge a punch one of the villains throws her way and swiftly counteracts with an attack of her own, calling out a thanks. There’s no time to breathe though and almost as soon as you’re done warning Mina, you have to dive in to keep another villain off Ojiro’s back. It’s chaotic but slowly you’re starting to pick away the forces as many of the remaining villains start fleeing. Once it looks like they’ve all retreated you instinctively look for Shoto, having not seen him since the fighting had properly started. You catch sight of him and heave a sigh of relief. You call out his name to catch his attention and although he initially offers you a soft smile you notice his eyes suddenly widen. “(Y/n) behind you!” he calls out.
Every moment after that seems to happen in slow motion.
You turn around just in time for a spear to fire clean through your shoulder, knocking you off balance. You start to fall backwards but before you can even hit the ground at least a dozen more rise up from the asphalt and impale your body. You hear Shoto’s broken cry of your name but it sounds so distant to you. After a moment stuck in place the spears suddenly drop back into the ground. Shoto is next to you in a second, pulling your broken body close as you bleed out. One of your other classmates tries to call for medical support but all he can focus on is you and the sheer amount of blood you’re losing. Shoto knows his training. He knows that when a victim has been stabbed it’s crucial to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, but how can he when there’s so many fucking wounds. “You’re going to be ok. You’re going to be ok. You’re going to be ok.” He says it over and over again like a mantra. It’s both a plea to you and a desperate attempt to deny the harsh reality that the love of his life is bleeding out in his arms.
You press a bloody hand to his cheek, looking lovingly up at the man you’d do anything for, and shush him quietly. “Sho,” you rasp, voice already weak as your body tries and fails to cope with your injuries. “Don’t,” he warns. “Sho, baby, look at me,” you try again but he shakes his head, shutting his eyes tightly as tears start to run down his cheeks. “Please?” you ask and he can’t deny you, never could, so he opens his eyes and looks down at your glossy ones as you fight to stay awake just a little bit longer. “There they are. I always did love your eyes,” you tell him wistfully as your thumb strokes his cheek, smearing your blood there, though you don’t seem to notice. “You can’t leave me. You have to be ok,” he whispers but you shake your head. You can already feel yourself fading and with medical attention still several minutes out at least you know there’s no fixing this. “I need you to promise me something,” you tell him. “Anything,” he replies immediately and it brings a sad smile to your blood stained lips. “Promise you’ll find someone else after me,” you say and the scandalized look on his face would have probably made you laugh under different circumstances. “You’ve got too much love to give to let it die with me,” you tell him but he shakes his head again. “I could never love anyone else like I love you,” he swears and he means it with every fiber of his being. You chuckle wetly. “You always were stubborn. Fine, then promise to never forget me,” you compromise, tears welling in your own eyes now too. “I couldn’t even if I tried,” he swears before leaning down to press one last kiss to your lips. He can taste the tang of iron and feel your tears and his mingling on your cheeks. “I love you,” he whispers against your lips as he pulls away, but for the first time since he first said the words to you, you don’t say them back. “(Y/n)? Baby, I love you,” he tries again, pulling back to look at you properly now. Your eyes remain shut, your hand falling limp from his cheek, and when he looks to your chest the rise and fall of it has ceased.
Devastation claws up through him like a rabid animal, tearing him apart as his whole world shatters around him. He feels his grief like a physical ache in his chest, radiating out to each of his limbs as if every cell of his body is violently rejecting the fact that you’re gone. “Todoroki-kun?” Midoriya asks cautiously, putting a gentle hand on Shoto’s shoulder. Shoto’s head snaps up as he cradles you closer, as if scared your body will be taken away from him too. Before Midoriya can say whatever he was going to, Denki’s voice cuts through the tense silence. “I got him!” he crows, shoving the villain down to the ground in front of his classmates. Shoto’s eyes land on the villain and instantly his grief twists into a searing rage. He gently lays your body down but his eyes are cold and lethal as he stares down the man that took you away from him. Midoriya realizes what’s happening a beat too late and by the time he reaches out to grab Shoto, the grief stricken man has already launched himself at the villain and grasped hold of him. His right hand closes around the man’s throat, ice wrapping around it like a vice grip. He’s vaguely aware of his classmates calling his name but he doesn’t care. This man stole the love of his life from him. For that he will pay. Before Todoroki can finish the job he’s suddenly being yanked back by Midoriya and Bakugo. “Let go of me!” he demands as he fights against their hold, ignoring their warnings and empty platitudes. He manages to wrench his left arm free for a brief moment and that’s all he needs. His flames shoot out, preventing Midoriya from getting a good hold of him again, and the man who murdered you goes up in flame. His howls of pain echo around the buildings around them but the sound is music to Shoto’s ears. Let him suffer. It’s a fate he deserves.
His classmates watch on in stunned horror until the villain is burned down to ash. As his flames die out so too does all the fight seem to drain from Shoto as the crushing grief returns. Bakugo let’s him go once it’s clear he’s not a threat anymore and Shoto uses his freedom to drag himself back over to your lifeless body. It’s not fair. You’re so young. He’s so young. Why was this fight even you all’s responsibility in the first place? He’s been excitedly planning his proposal to you for weeks. Now he’ll have to plan a funeral. The thought makes him physically ill and he has to turn to the side as bile climbs up his throat and he retches onto the asphalt beside him.
How is he supposed to go on without you?
Midoriya returns a hand to his shoulder as the paramedics finally arrive. It’s too late. Far too late. One of them approaches cautiously and like a dog protecting his master Shoto immediately lashes out. “Don’t you fucking touch them,” he warns, eyes cold and voice lethal. The paramedic jerks backwards, his hands up in surrender, as he cautiously looks to the other class A students for advice. They have none. They’ve never seen Todoroki like this. They can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going through. It’s Eijirou who steps up in the end. He approaches Shoto carefully, as if his classmate is a feral animal, before kneeling down to his level. “They need to take (y/n) to the hospital on that stretcher over there,” Kirishima tells him carefully, jerking his head in the direction of the waiting ambulance. “Can you carry them there for the paramedics?” he asks. Shoto stares at Kirishima blankly as if trying to process his words before slowly nodding. “Ok. Let’s go then, yea?” Kiri asks. Another nod in response before Shoto carefully gathers you into his arms. He ignores the way your body has already started to go cold as he carries you over to the stretcher. He tries to pretend they’re just rushing you to the hospital, that they’re speeding you over to recovery girl and in a few hours time you’ll be tired but cheery, teasing him for being so worried about nothing. But as he lays you down and then watches them zip you up into a black bag, he knows it’s a hopeless fantasy. You’re gone and you’re never coming back.
A few days later he sits in a black suit with a black tie and a silver chain carrying an engagement ring around his neck. He leans against Fuyumi, who sits on his left side, while his mother grasps tightly onto his right hand. Behind him Natsuo rests a steady hand on his shoulder. His father hovers nearby, unsure how best to offer his support or if his support would even be welcome. They are the only thing that keeps Shoto from falling apart. When the time comes, he stands on shaky legs and approaches your open casket. At first he’d been insistent he wouldn’t look, but his mother had argued his last image of you shouldn’t be your broken body, riddled with holes. So he looks down at you, pieced back together by some mortician, lying motionless in the nicest outfit you own and he traces every detail of you. He tries to patch over the memory of you broken on the ground that haunts him every night since it’s happened with this image of you now. He pictures all of the good and beautiful moments you’ve shared together, let’s them swell in his chest until they’re too large to contain and pour out of him through his silent tears. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your too cold forehead and mumbles to you again his final promise:
“I love you, (y/n). I’ll never forget you.”
#this hurt me so fucking bad to write oh my godddd#it’s so long too oh man I really said ‘you want pain? I’ll give you pain’#🤡🤡🤡#anyway even though it hurt I loved writing this#thanks for the request anon#hhrequests#shoto x y/n#todoroki x y/n#shoto x reader#todoroki x reader#shoto todoroki
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I read your s/o who likes to read hcs and was wondering if you could do the same request format or whatever it is you'd call it but with terishima,akaashi, iwa, Oikawa,and Daichi? Sorry if that's a lot! -anon
with a s/o that likes to read (part 2)
— iwaizumi, oikawa, terushima, daichi, and akaashi
word count. 1.4k
genre. fluff
note. i made these ones shorter than the ones in part two because anon requested a lot of characters and i didn’t wanna run out of headcanons to write,,, i hope you still like this though!
part one here
IWAIZUMI.
- will read the books that you’re reading just because he likes the feeling of being able to bond with you over something you love since you’re so supportive of him already (literally the perfect man. perfect bf. give me a kiss rn RN!!)
- maybe not all of them, but if you get him hooked on the description, then he will probably finish the book faster than you
- if he doesn’t like a book very much he’ll take ages to finish it though
- if you ask him about how he’s doing with reading it he’ll be like “oh i’m almost done” when in reality he’s only 20 pages in
- he’ll send you texts about the books you recommend but they’ll be super blunt like “this character just died” or “oh they kissed”
- you sit at your phone for 20 minutes debating on how to respond to those because HOW??
- he loves cuddles,,,, would literally die for cuddles
- so when you climb into his lap with a book in hand and bury your head in his neck as you read his heart literally malfunctions
- his cute s/o with their reading obsession that he secretly finds so endearing climbing into his lap for cuddle time,,,,,, his heart goes &2:$84!;💞💖💘💖💓💖💞/):&38,
- iwaizumi.exe has stopped working
- but he’s also not afraid to pull you into his lap if he sees you reading on the couch
- he’ll probably put on a monster movie and just hold you as you read and he watches
- probably also buried his nose in your hair and revels in your scent (also kisses your head every so often because he can’t help it and AHHHH HES SO CUTE)
- when you start sending him messages about your books, he will attempt to respond to every single text or he will just wait until you’re done and text back with “u done?” (not in a mean way though) there’s no inbetween
- he’s smiling every time you send him those texts though
- aoba johsai’s volleyball team (ESPECIALLY OIKAWA) teases him mercilessly if they ever catch him smiling at his phone in the locker room or during class or during lunch (basically u text him a lot lol)
- sometimes when you slam your book shut and scream into your pillow, he will just watch you with amused eyes and probably make an offhand comment that’s similar to “remember to breathe while you’re at it.”
- you end up throwing the pillow at him (which he catches and then proceeds to walk to where you are and swing you over his shoulder)
- get your mind out of the gutter on the “over his shoulder” part i swear he’s just teasing you for throwing a pillow at him (I CAN FEEL YOUR MIND WANDERING STOP IT)
OIKAWA.
- he makes an effort to read your books, really he does
- he’s just really busy, so most of the books he promises he will read stay only half way read through and never picked up ever again
- if you give him a sci-fi book though, this man will literally finish it at an insane pace
- literally he would be the one to text you at some ungodly hour (usually 3AM in the morning) because he just finished the book in one sitting and he’s literally brimming with reactions
- will text things like “WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST DIED”, “YN SEND HELP I THINK THEY’RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING STUPID”, “OH MY GODDDD I HATE THIS BITCH CAN THEY STOP TALKING” (always in all caps whenever he’s reacting to a book)
- you better pray that he doesn’t end up hating a character because he will text you every single time they show up on a page and complain about them
- “this character reminds me of ushijima why would you put me through this 🤕🤕”
- or “THEYRE TALKING AGAIN?? WHEN WILL THEY GET THE MEMO THAT I WANT THEM TO . ST F U ‼️😻”
- anyways, if it’s not sci-fi, it’s probably sitting on his nightstand and never touched again until you steal the book back
- CLAIMS he tried reading them (he got 2 pages in and then put it down)
- he is also a huge cuddler
- but you will not be able to read in his lap because he’s so fucking whiny
- “y/n-channn pay attention to meeee. you can read about that insanely hot dude in your book when you’re not already sitting in an insanely hot dude’s lap”
- big pouty face
- it works every single time and you hate him for it
- once you put your book down he will not let you go for a good ten minutes
- he also has tons of pictures of you reading on his phone because he thinks you’re so cute and feels like he has to snap a picture so he can remember how cute you looked at that very moment
- a lot like iwaizumi, oikawa will attempt to reply to every single one of your book related texts (except oikawa succeeds at replying to every single one)
- like you could literally send him fifty text messages in a row and you will get fifty replies back
TERUSHIMA.
- i am so sorry to say this but i genuinely cannot see terushima being interested in your books whatsoever
- he thinks that it’s boring and always questions how you can just sit down for hours on end and just read
- this changes when you give him one of those insane, mind-boggling, really dark, murder-mystery books
- he’ll scoff at it but after a lot of begging on your part, he’ll give it a try
- he loves it
- he told you that he never got bored and that feeling like that while reading a book is so weird to him
- that is the only book you’ll ever get him to read though (okay maybe he’ll read a few more if you beg him for it with that cute pouty face of yours that he cannot resist)
- like he’ll treat that murder mystery book as a holy grail and insist that nothing will ever top it
- i’m sorry again but he probably texts you “what u doing rn?” and if you say something about reading he’ll try to get you to do literally anything else (most likely will send a horny text to try and steal you away from your reading, let’s be honest here)
- “come over baby you can experience all that you’re reading in that book first hand 😏😏😏”
- if you send him text reactions of your book he will most likely reply with “awe babe ur so cute” but not say anything about the books in itself (IM SORRY HE’S NOT MEAN ABOUT IT THOUGH)
- cuddling with him while reading will never happen
- seriously
- he will do everything in his power to get you to put the book down
- like start peppering you with kisses or tickling you
- he just can’t stand sitting down in silence for so long lol
- he doesn’t put you down for reading though
- like yeah he might not understand it and thinks it���s boring, but he admires that you care so much about it and also admires your commitment
DAICHI.
- admires you for reading honestly
- like i feel like he’s the type to get really good grades but will not look at a book that he hasn’t been assigned to read for his life
- that being said, he probably has never read any of the books you ask him to read with you
- he’s told you he’s read one or two which is a lie (you know it’s a lie but you don’t tell him that because you know he feels bad about not reading them)
- he isn’t on his phone often so most of the time your texts don’t get answered for hours
- it’s kinda fun that way though because after a while you just start sending him long text threads and it’s like talking to yourself
- when he does respond it’s with something like “you look like you had fun there” (after that he’ll apologize for not seeing it and then ask if you had anything else about the book that you wanted to tell him about AWEHISHFNF)
- very good listener!! he’ll try and have a genuine conversation about the book even if he hasn’t read it (like if you want to talk about how you think the plot doesn’t work, he will either support you or give you valid reasons that sparks constructive conversation)
- will absolutely never see the texts you send at 1AM (until the morning) because he always passes out before 11PM
- will see them in the morning and will text back “well good morning to me”
- he has absolutely no clue what you’re talking about in the texts but tries his hardest to be supportive
- cuddling while you’re reading happens nearly every single time you’re together
- is very stressed from dealing with his volleyball children so he’ll more than happily sit on the couch and cuddle with you as you read
- sometimes he falls asleep while you cuddle and you just snuggle into him and it’s so cute
AKAASHI.
- THIS LITTLE SHIT
- man oh man he loves acting like a smart ass whenever you text him about your books
- you’ll be like “my favorite character just died!!” and he’ll be like “well tell them to not die then wtf”
- will stay up late texting you about your book though because he’s most likely reading it with you so you two can bounce ideas off of each other
- if you like a character that he hates he will not hesitate to start a debate about why you shouldn’t like that character (full one page of reasons. this man takes his opinions very seriously)
- if you’re together at his house or something and you start yelling at your book he’ll be like “y/n don’t hurt its feelings.”
- you momentarily pause your yelling to deadpan him
- he stares right back
- “just be nice.” (you’re like BWAH???)
- HE ALSO YELLS AT HIS BOOKS THOUGH
- it’s uncommon but it does happen
- if you’re both reading or you’re doing homework and he’s reading, he’ll slam the book shut and yell about how stupid this character is (and when i mean yell, i mean yell)
- and if he doesn’t like the ending of something he will rant for days and you’ll have to remind him to take a breath
- he gets so hyped up from reading books it’s so cute
- will read with you when you cuddle read (does that make sense??? like when you cuddle with him while reading)
- will mumble things under his breath while you’re both reading but you’re on his lap so you can hear everything and you just laugh
- one time he mumbled “stupid bitch just fucking die already” to this character he hated
- you had to put down the book because you were laughing so hard
#oikawa x reader#oikawa headcanons#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi headcanons#terushima x reader#terushima headcanons#daichi x reader#daichi headcanons#akaashi x reader#akaashi headcanons#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons
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bhah ch5 reread time for emotions
idk why eddie half-asleep mumbling about pancakes is so funny to me but like... relatable king
we love the contrasting feelings of Dani and Eddie vs Jamie’s house
lmao poor mikey. let the boy shred on his air guitar in peace
god this is all so domestic I want what they have (owen’s pastries and Jamie in a bandana)
a great, good place huh???? idk why clever canon line inclusion sometimes makes me go a little bit mad but here we are
Dani wanting to leave her mark on this place vs... whatever the fuck is going on in her own home the signs are all there babe
Jamie seeing the problem of Dani not having a desk to work at and immediately wanting to fix it vs Eddie just being Eddie hmmmmm
Carson and Mikey being buddies is actually something that can be so personal
dang Jamie and her quiet temper are so intimidating
problem solver Dani is here we love her. god they’re such a good match
skjfhdfkjfh so much talk about loins ladies get a room already
"Sometimes I just like making other people happy, is all." Dani you are toooo sweet (even if this gets you into trouble sometimes)
oh my godddd Jamie sending Dani flowers I can’t handle this. DANI WANTING TO KEEP IT A SECRET TOO LIKE WANTING TO KEEP THEIR TIME AS JUST FOR THEM I’M GOING INSANE
oh she is having Thoughts about their thighs pressing together and their fingertips grazing. this is so gay. gayer than whatever is gonna happen when they finally bone (I will happily retract this statement if proven wrong 👀👀👀). nothing tops this on the homosexual heirarcy of intimacy
mikey trotting towards school w the lil packed lunch jamie just threw him is so adorable I love the visuals of this fic
I am headcanoning Dani’s Aunt Liz who moved out east to be gay and no one will convince me otherwise (also bring her back Dani needs a cool gay aunt in her life)
Dani being presented with an opportunity to not hang out with Eddie’s familly: I will be there also I can be there 7 hours early also I will bring snacks
Charlotte? Charlotte Wingrave?? Is she on maternity leave to have Miles???
“"Yeah," she lied.” is one of my fave sentences ever idk why I just... the agreement and the deceit of it all (not necessarily specific to this moment tho it is a good one. I just love them in general)
ooft Dani feels so close to breaking here r.e. Eddie and their relationship and I cannot help but wonder if she’s been like this for a while or if the Jamie of it all is really accelerating things
aww Dani’s birthday we love to celebrate she
Dani looking for Jamie I always always imagine as a grounding thing even if she’s not aware of it. Jamie truly is her person and I will be going insane about it ty
Jamie’s wardrobe is truly top tier she is so dreamy
gah the um. heights of everyone on the wall... the familyness of it all. the history. time to look away before I explode
“It’s just the way it’s always been.” ooooohhhh these lines in sort of inconesquential moments that capture the essence of everything!!!!! genius
i fucking hate how hot I find Jamie smoking akjdfhdjfh why can I see it so clearly in my head and why am I like Dani Clayton levels of attracted to her about it
oof Dani truly hates her n Eddie’s house (a house is not a home.glee.mp3 etc). I’m also just realising with a return to the wall heights thing that Jamie was probably thinking back to simpler times and what this house represented as a home to her (both as a welcoming place to be/an ideal kind of home but something she will never really have/be a part of) my heart hurts
What is Dani wishing for as she blows out the candles does she even know what she wants???
Jamie insisting she gets to sit beside Dani is so adorable
the casual domesticity of Dani and Jamie together has me making the stupidest most endeared faces at my screen I love it
the camping trip mention kjfdghdfkj I will never forget Dani gay panicking the whole time I love this lead up
god why am I thinking so hard about the different paths Dani and Jamie went down r.e. their sexualitites rn like Dani being all scared of Jamie mixing w her work life and people realising that there’s something there is just... she’s so fuckign afraid of being herself and then u have Jamie who has lived her life as authentically as she can in that sense and the contrast of it all is so damn interesting (and breaks my heart a bunch)
is this the scarf Dani gave her for christmas does she still have it oh my god
“"And here I thought you were a fan of delayed gratification," Jamie said, chuckling softly.” please tell me this is a surprise tool that will help us later
wait i take it back about the gayest thing ever. I think this blindfolded w Jamie gently guiding her w a hand on her back while she says gentle reassurances like “I got you” is possibly the gayest they’ve ever been. OH she’s guiding her to the desk she refurbished with her own two gay hands this is peak lesbianism. i’m gonna make a heirarcy of needs pyramid based on this fic one day just u wait
ok but this is really soft as hell god I love the thoughtfulness of Jamie. get u a best friend that will fulfill ur every need and feels like home and then kiss her a bunch
“I feel like I'm standing in the middle of the room, screaming, and nobody even looks at me. Nobody can see me." this nell crain ref pls I cant
i think it’s really like... sweet in a way that both of them are sort of dancing around this like there are so many feelings there and they’re just sort of clinging to each other and the familiarity of their bond without pushing it into anything more even incidentally. i think it’s v much a testament to the writing that their relationship and what it is/what it could become isn’t overwhelming to either of them in moments like this. it all just feels very authentic and I love this fic so dang much for it
the library trip ok are we ready 4 the gay meltdown of the century
god them lowkey playfighting on the bus pls this is just like the perfect mix of teacher Dani trying to be professional meets teenage Dani and Jamie cuteness aaah
lmao is Jamie having a small gay meltdown over Hannah Grose that is perfection
fvkdjfgkjfh Hannah and Jamie discussing Dani’s pretty eyes I love this so much please I need more of this and Dani getting flustered about it
god the Jamie and Jackie history I need to know this backstory so bad
plsss Jamie putting Dani’s hand in her jacket pocket to keep it warm could you two be any more digustingly cuuuuute.
jesus fuck the tension of them almost making out in the back rowww. Jamie having a meltdown. Dani falling impossibly harder in love
i can’t believe this moment was it for Dani. lesbianism is stored in the library
oof the parallels between this and the school dance bathroom meltdown Jamie gone vs Jamie HERE in ways she can barely even comprehend. everything is NOT OK
“She couldn’t want this. She couldn’t want Jamie.” Ms Dani your delusions
yeehaw I’m officially halfway through my reread may the next 5 chapters align with the universe and see me through until ch11 is here amen
#bhah#there are a few tangents in this one#but I am v tired and my brain refuses to stay on a single train of thought#anyway that was fun see u next time
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Everything I Wanted
Pairing: Roommate!Tom Holland x Reader
Word Count: A cute little 1.1k
Summary: You and Tom never fight, but you are right now.
Warning(s): Some swear words, horribly written angst and some fluff, not edited, probably a whole bunch of mistakes
A/N: I ahven’t written in what feels like forever so here we go, something short :)
Hopefully the tags work this time, if not, idk what to do anymore
~Thank you Kriti for giving me the ones you would like to read, I love you~
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You and Tom never argued. Ever. It was something that you both took pride in. Most roommates that you knew were down each other's throats at least once a week, if not more often.
But that wasn’t the case with you. The apartment that you lived in currently had been your shared home with Tom for a little over five years. There were a lot of memories in your humble abode, but not a single one of them had ever contained fighting.
Until this very moment.
You don’t exactly recall how you got here, everything’s a little blurry.
All you know is that a girl, who you had never seen before, walked out of Tom’s room and it got you into a bad mood.
Which usually wouldn’t matter. Tom knows how to deal with your bad moods. Today, though, it seems as if he’s just as angry as you are. You don’t know why, however. What does he have to be mad at? Nothing happened to him.
And, yeah, one could argue that nothing happened to you either, but really, Tom did. He brought yet another girl home because he’s either oblivious to the fact that you’re madly in love with him, or he just doesn’t care. Either way, seeing her got your blood boiling.
“Why are you being so fucking rude all of a sudden y/n?” Tom screams, making you snap out of your thoughts. Tom had never once raised his voice at you, and it wasn’t something that you liked hearing.
“I’m not being rude, Tom. maybe I’m just over you being so damn inconsiderate.” You snap, not really wanting to answer his question. You were being rude, but it was because you wanted him. And you wanted him bad.
“Me? Inconsiderate?” He scoffs, “Okay, y/n, sure. I’m the inconsiderate one.”
“You are!” Your voice had raised rapidly since this had started, and you didn’t like it. You hated screaming, especially at Tom. “You bring random girls home and you don’t even bother to be quiet, so all I hear at night is ‘oh, tom! Faster!’ and ‘oh my godddd’. I don’t want to hear you fucking somebody, so either soundproof your room or find somewhere else to do it.”
“What the fuck do you mean by that?” For a split second, he looks hurt, but then the scowl is set right back onto his face, “Do you want me to leave?”
“No! Of course I don’t want you to leave, that’s not what I meant by that!” Did he really think you wanted him to leave?
“Maybe I should leave, though.” His voice has lowered in volume, and he no longer seems angry, just tired. “Maybe it would be better if I left.”
“No, Tom, please, I don’t want you to leave.” You say, begging him to stay. “We’ll get through this, it's fine.”
“It’s not fine, y/n, and you know that. Even if we don’t fight, there are still the comments thrown my way whenever I mess up. The ‘why can’t you clean up after yourself’ and the ‘i wish i had a better roommate.’” He runs his hand through his hair, messing up the curls he worked so hard to keep in place. “We can’t keep this up, I’m sorry. I think this is better for the both of us. I’ll leave my share of the rent for the next couple months and I’ll keep paying it until the lease is up or until you get a new roommate.”
He turns and starts walking to his room. It only takes you a second to run after him and wedge yourself between his arm and the wall, coming to a stop in front of him.
“No, you can’t leave.” You can feel the tears threatening to fall, and you really don’t want them to, but your heart feels like it’s about to shatter.
“Y/n, please, look, I’m sorry. Really. I’m sorry that I’m not what you signed up for. You deserve a better roommate.” He closes his eyes and turns his head upwards for a moment. When he looks back at you, you can see the unshed tears waiting to fall. “I hope the next one treats you better. Doesn’t leave for months at a time and come back so tired that they can’t function. Really, it’s fine. I’m not what you wanted.”
You laugh, actually laugh at the boy standing in front of you. So he’s really just been oblivious this entire time?
“What’s so funny?” He asks, eyes narrowing.
“You’re so oblivious.” You start. “ And if this were any other time, I probably wouldn’t tell you this, but you’re already threatening to leave, so the worst that you can do is do just that.” You’re the one running your hands through your hair now, making it tangle around your fingers. “You’re everything I wanted, Tom. Everything, and more.” You inhale deeply and then breathe out, quite dramatically, before continuing. “I love you, Tom. and no, not like that. Not in the way we’ve been saying it for the past five years.” You can’t make yourself look at him at this point. “I’m in love with you, I got rude today because I was jealous. I’m sorry.”
You give him a minute to process, still keeping your eyes from meeting his.
After what seems like an eternity, he speaks up, “So, you don’t want me to leave?”
“No, Tom, please don’t.” You beg.
He cups your face in his hands and brings your eyes to meet his own, “I love you too, y/n. And not like that. Not in the way we usually say it. I fell in love with you a while ago.”
He pulls you into him, and you instantly melt into his chest. All of the stress from the prior actions leaving your body.
He lifts a hand from your back to play with your hair and mumbles, “Do you wanna go cuddle?”
You instantly pull away from him and grab his hand, running to his room.
“Slow down, no need to run.” He laughs.
‘Yes there is, I wanna cuddle!” You all but squeal, jumping on his bed.
He climbs in after you, pulling you into his side. You curl into his, resting your head on his chest, legs tangled under the covers.
You fall asleep in his arms, letting the events of the day be forgotten.
Perma Tag: @spideygirl2003, @jackiehollanderr, @scarletsoldierrr, @thewayilookatbacon, @parker-barnes-af, @lost-in-the-stars03, @kisses-holland, @josiemara, @god-knows-what-am-i-doing, @fanficscuziranout @babebenhardy @write-from-the-heart @slytherinambitious @akila-stilinski
Tom Holland: @cyrusandhiscollaredahirts, @averyfosterthoughts, @thorsangel,
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first: WAHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭 I got so emotional!!! so emotional!!!! so much that I can’t even do this first second pattern bc I have SO MANY thoughts!!!!!!! I’m writing this in my notes instead of straight into the askbox so u know it’s serious business™
ok so debut night!!! I was like ahah yeah it’s a tragedy whatever it’ll be fun to start out with and then the voice acting was SO good that it knocked me out of the park and I almost cried haha. it’s crazy how good the voice acting in a3 is like I love how the dialogue and voice acting works well together bc like it’s limited but so effective!! u can so very clearly see and understand the style they’re going for. especially like tsumugi’s death scene... the Talent jumped out it really did... uh and ok so. I think I may be a littleeee confused abt the play bc I had always interpreted tasukus last lines as raphael to be like abt his being secretly in love with michael. but now that I’m actually reading the line that’s like oh don’t fall for a human it only ends in misery I know that all too well or whatever... ig the implication is that raphael was in love with another human / the same lady michael was in love with in the play. side note I had to go back and edit the proper names in instead of tasuku and tsumugi lol... but speaking of!! speaking of the voice acting and the play itself I 1) love how blatantly obvious it is when tsumugi goes for that grander, tasuku like style of delivery!! like u could just so easily feel the difference it was wild... and 2) tsuzuru is once again spot on with his writing, lol... I felt that like raphaels inability to save or help michael really parallels how tasuku feels abt tsumugi so well, and it’s wonderful that they r able to resolve things and tasuku can properly compliment him on his acting where the angels fail to do so. it’s very good. and I think the play rly highlights (for me at least) that like. to tasuku, it was tsumugi who was sort of an unreachable existence. like were he to idolize and respect someone’s acting, it would be tsumugi. and I think that like caring carries over into their roles really well, because I think in michael’s love for a human tasuku sees like... tsumugi’s style of acting. the heart that he’d lost while within the god troupe. mb I’m losing my mind a little but ah. the play rly works with their relationship so well!! im very excited to see the other winter ppl get main roles tho—same for all the troupes!!! now this ask is too long so I’ll have to do another part lol
going to start off this second part of the ask abt hisoka bc oh my GOD. hisoka. like I was just thinking “hm where r the winter troupe cgs anyways” and then BAM. hisoka CRYING???? especially since he doesn’t seem that emotional it was a really hard hit!!! and who tf is august.... ok well actually theory time!! skipping ahead to the end theres that note that like mentions December and April and. not to expose my friend but very many years ago (a couple years before a3 was launched, at the very least) she wrote this story where there were like 12 orphan assassins and they were all named after months. I remember the main dude was named dec lol. coupled with my “hisoka is capable of murder” bit? listen.... I’m not saying anything but I’m also not not saying anything if u feel me. also I feel like assassin / thief with mysterious background is a common trope!! that was silver from the pokémon adventures manga too... why is this my reference point lmao. anyways I’m unclear if assassins would make it into a3 but like.... if the yakuza and supernatural stuff makes it in...
okay moving away from conspiracy theories and into emotions!!! the quotes from like EVERY mankai actor before the final production made me SO emo... and yay!!! they won!!!! (though admittedly I almost had a heart attack when no one clapped) but they won!!!! that ending cg!!!! and I adore how sakyo immediately goes after god troupe man (I know his name is reni I just don’t feel like calling him that) for the money lol it’s just so sakyo-like. also I love the lil mixed troupe interactions!! I found the game night ch so fun.... ahh, now I wanna reread that ch since it was so good lol
all in all I was super satisfied ahh!! I am SO excited to start up spring troupe again (HELLO character development!!! and chikage) and I’m even MORE excited to get thru all the act 1 events!!!! as a final note, is there any way to reread or replay the flair conversations? I didn’t want any spoilers for the plays while I was doing the practices for them so I kinda sped thru the first time ahah...
HELLO FRIEND IM SO HAPPY TO GET SUCH A LENGHTY ASK ABOUT WINTER IM LKDJFLKDJFLKFD Winter makes me feel shrimps emotions (i know the whole “shrimps can see more colors than humans can’t comprehend” thing has been disproved but i’m not letting go of that expression, i REALLY feel emotions humans can’t comprehend anymore and i’m going to make it everyone else’s problem)
1) First about the voice acting, rIGHT this is just so fascinating to me!!! I remember after act 2 i came back to reread the main act 1 chapter and i was so thrown out by how GOOD the voice acting was, especially for the first few troupes having to convince you they’re not comfortable or good at acting yet. Winter whole thing is that they’re more subtle and mature and you really feel that with their voice acting, Tsumugi’s voice especially knock it off the park anytime he’s on screen.
2) Second: what does it say about me that i’ve never, ever considered your reading a possibility because i was so set on “oh Raphael you’re in love with Michael sooooo bad you see it as a tragedy already because you can see him throw his life away” i didn’t even consider “maybe Raphael went through that too”. Though i guess if we’re going with that reading i can totally see “The Woman” they let themselves consumed by easily be a representation of acting or even more the God Troupe, with Raphael/Tasuku knowing to step away before it consumes him completely while Michael/Tsumugi, by his love and passion, pushed himself until he broke, which fits and it hurtsssss god Winter plays hits so hard.
3) Third: oh god yeah when Tsumugi goes for Tasuku’s acting it’s just. It makes me SO uncomfortable, i’ve experienced this scene like three times by now and the third time i was just “can i skip it i can’t go through this again i can’t Tsumugi i love you i can’t do this”. It doesn’t match the play at all and it just throws everyone off balance, and Tsumu you could have told theM YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.... god
4) Fourth: I LOVE YOUR READING SO MUCH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT YES YOU’RE RIGHT!!! Just as we follow Tsumugi let his passion consumes him until he breaks, Tasuku’s character arc really jumps out in Raphael, like, everything you say!!! The way Tasuku/Raphael knew how the feelings Tsumugi/Michael felt would hurt him on the long run but he didn’t know what to do about it until it was too late, the regrets and the way Raphael voices his frustrations.... Tasuku struggles to be honest without acting (Tasuku pls i love you) but having such a role really help him expressing all he feels about Tsumugi and i’m HHHH this is so good so so good!!! but yeah i also love that Tasuku finally manages to actually compliment Tsumugi naturally, that he understands he can’t let him destroys himself again and it’s just gnhhhhh Tasuku is so kind and considerate and i care about him so much....!!!
5) Fifth: “i’m losing my mind a little” winter mood, winter mood winter mood- (though every troupe’s mood tbh but Winter is gnhhhhh kdhd hdhjf??? you feel me) (i am BIASED i can’t help it TwT) but yeaH i’m looking forward to see how you react to the others plays because the roller coaster juST BEGUN!!!
Onto part 2... Winter Troupe Chapter Feels... 2!
6) Sixth: DLFJDFKLDF HISOKAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHH. Hisoka crying fucked me up so bad!! so so bad!! Like on my first read i didn’t know what to think of him as he starts out very apathic to his troupe and then the more it goes on the more you can feel he starts to open up and i’m soft for this sort of slow burn, but then this whole scene happened and it HIT ME IN THE FACE, he was crying, i was crying, we were all crying, the Unopening Door opened a flood of emotions i can’t cope with. He sounds SO VULNERABLE during that scene and i know all of the Winter Troupe united on “taking care of him” but that’s really the moment i went “i care you and i will keep taking care of you” and look at me now. Thanks funky little scene for ruining my life. I’m glad you liked it i’m aldhjflkjdfkd Hisokaaaaa.....
7) Seventh: I am not commenting on the theory but 👀 that’s so highly specific your friend has a galaxy brain i love it. and i love the idea of “well we have yakuza and supernatural entity what’s an assassin adding himself to it” dLKFJDLKF i know everyone in Mankai calls Izumi out everytime someone joins but that’d be peak. I’m not going further about what December and August and April are all about but i love this plotline sO much, the few mentions of August when Hisoka regained his memories for a minute still haunts me, the guilt he seems to feel and this pain i’m just... godddd such a good set up. I love this plotline.
8) Eigth: EMOTIONS!! Oh GOD YEAH THE ENDING WITH ALL THE OTHER ACTORS... I cried so hard it’s just. It really shows you it’s not just the culmination of the Winter chapter but of all the act 1 main plot and it really makes you feel how much of a journey you’ve been onto!! A3 is so good at showing you the growth of its characters that especially by the end of Winter you really saw how all of them grew in their respective chapters and how cozy they felt in their new home in the remaining chapters, and the fact this chap has those defining character arc’s lines really drive home “oh my god that was a journey” i love them sO MUCH....
9) Ninth: wE WOOOON!!! They’re all so good i just. i’m gonna cry just thinking about it dlfdjlfk i know like, the game has so many content so you know it can’t end at the end of Winter but the suspense really was there. BUT YEAH LMAO I LOVE SAKYO DOING THAT IMMEDIATLY, man sure has the eyes on the prize and we love him for that. AND THE GAME NIGHT SCENE they are all sO CUTE and sWEET and they’re a family now and i’m hHHHHH i love a3 a normal healthy amount that isn’t just making me cry thinking about how all of them grew so close even through mixed troupes.
10) Tenth: I am SO happy you were satisfied with the plot so far!! I’m genuinely so happy that you decided to take that journey with us and that you shared all of this with me, and i’m so so happy you liked it!! There is still so much content and all of it is so worth it!
11) Eleventh: Yes!! The flair conversations are all readable on the Mini-Chat tab! So they’re easily accessible and they’re sorted in a way that’s easy to read so you can feel comfortable skipping the flairs if you want until you have seen the stories the flairs are all about. They’re all kinda set during the rehearsals (except for some crosstroupe conversation that wouldn’t make sense if they were like how the Summer Troupe talks with the Spring Troupe in their Flairs DKLFJDF but it’s okay what is a timeline anyway) so some of them are set pre-development and it’s wild to get back to them. I love rereading Flairs i get emotional everytime.
ANND That’s it for this ask! i had a blast reading through your thoughts and i’m so happy and excited!! i’ll send you the drive now so you can start digging through it whenever you feel like it :3c good luck grinding for act 2, meanwhile i hope you’ll have fun with all the act 1 events i compiled for you!!
(side note i need to update the drive too but it’s mostly act 2 content anyway, the only two act 1 things i need to update on it is Sakuya’s birthday card i think?? i think Itaru’s is already in act 2 so i’ll try to get around to it eventually but it’s so far away anyway)
(edit: i forgot that the three cards i got for the latest revival are from act 1 DLKJFD okay so i’m missing three cards -)
The drive has backstages and event stories and it may be a lot and overwhelming ahah. Focus on the event stories for the plot and go back to the backstages whenever you feel like it, no need to read them at the same time, unless you want to in which case everything is set up for you :3c and there’s a file with cards that aren’t associated to events too so... lots of goodies hanging around. I’ll send it to you in DM ;O
Take care and thank you so much for all your thoughts! my inbox remains wide opened for any others thoughts you may have as you go further into it :3c
#ichafantalks a3#i love the winter troupe SO MUCH it's unreal this ask made me cry i was just LDKJFDLK WINTER!!!!!!!#i love your thoughts so much thank you for all of it <33#sonnets-of-beauty#ichareply#long post for ts
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mtmte liveblog issue 16
here we go, the crux of the pain...
ok I'm not prepared for this but I gotta rip the bandaid off, lets go
oh!!! magnus flashbacks!! I honestly thought these were shown later...this is such cool setup for the next arc tho I love it
and the tieback to the scavengers ark, showing fulcrum’s flashback but from magnus’s perspective, as the guy labelled with ‘ultra magnus’ blows him up...
and like, I love that those flashbacks are so vague, and you don't even really know why you're being shown them - I feel like when I first read this I assumed it was to show a bunch of times where magnus almost died but didn't even though he was expected to die - like here w/overlord - but we’ll soon find out that's not quite the case...
and I like the little details that don't add up, like the second flashback-magnus having his autobrand at an angle (which current-magnus would obviously hate), and the ‘witty banter’ remark about 3rd flashback-magnus, which could very well be genuine
oh god oh christ the shot of the lost light flying away from the wreckage of the pod and you can see rewinds broken camera just floating there...fuckgin kill me bro
tg wiping off mangus’s leg because ‘he hates dirt’ tailgate ;_; ily
drift just chillin with 0 legs left
augh poor tailgate, he’s uniquely unprepared for the horrors of battle after sitting out the whole war
oh god, chromedome is standing on the outside of the ship being sad, I already cant handle this
ohhhh god cd talking about him and rewind looking at the stars together ;_; excuse me while I cry my eyes out
chromedome, you have the worst goddamn coping mechanisms
never over rodimus’s office having flames around the door. my guy
magnus invented a font? that makes so much sense somehow
rodimus is worried about his dad :(
damnnnnn rung with that absolutely BRUTAL read on rodimus, oof. way to kick someone when they're down...ouch
but really, rodimus’s hero complex is so fascinating, especially bc he’s aware that he has it to some degree, and he’s not necessarily a bad person, so he tries somewhat to avoid playing into it, but that's a difficult thing to do...
brainstorm hugging his briefcase like that at the funeral...hhhh
swerve, the ‘case quest’ sounds like a spectacularly bad idea
god I'm so sad this whole issue but rodimus giving this big impassioned funeral speech that seems like its about rewind, only for it to REALLY be about some guy who turns into a tripod....really funny
godddd chromedome and brainstorm sitting together, and cd staring at his (remaining) hand....bro :(((
super interested in the fact that rodimus is religious, even though he’s not really overt about it, and it’s not touched on much in the story
rung staring intensely and accusingly at rodimus....jesus that's intimidating
chromedome is clearly uh. Not Coping well, which anyone could see after his “speech” about rewind
brainstorm giving cd that Look :( oh man oh god
GODDDDDDDD the reveal that chromedome has been through this THREE TIMES before, and every single time has chosen to forget, and the whole thing w/the innermost energon...im fucking devastated m8. god
hhhhh and brainstorm saying that he knows cd will go through with it, because they've had this same conversation multiple times before...fucking kill me
also brainstorm and cd’s friendship is so AUGHHHHH my heart man. earlier on they're friendly assholes to each other but now we get to see that they both have a lot of deep emotions
oh god and now the whole thing with drift. hhhhhh this issue HURTS man
thinkin abt how brainstorm, while talking to cd, said that he thinks that drift ‘has the urge to name names’ but really, drift threw himself on the sword and took ALL the blame, even though cd even said, a lot of it was on him for going into the cell without telling anyone...plus brainstorm (and as we later find out, rodimus) is involved as well....AUGH
and drift being cast out so harshly seems rough, even though we know what he (and the others) did was bad
also looks like magnus is reanimating himself over in the medbay...i love all the symbolism with magnus’s hand this issue
OH GOD OH NO I CANT HANDLE THIS. REWINDS GOODBYE MESSAGE IS SERIOUSLY THE BIGGEST TEARJERKER IN THE STORY
‘you and me apart strikes me as intensely wrong’ I'm literally weeping. hello. I cant fucking handle this
NOOOO GODDDD I seriously cant deal with rewinds message overlaid onto drift leaving the ship, and being attacked as he goes, and then ratchet helping him up with ‘you're a better person now - stubborn and frustrating but wonderful!’ over the panels AUGHHHH my heart cant handle any of this. my organs are shutting down as we speak
god I'm just ugly crying @ the end of the message.... ‘one more thing - one last thing - because I don't say it enough...I love you’ AUGHHHH
and its rewind himself who says the ‘I love you’ ;_; LOOK HOW HARD I CAN CRY!!!!!!!!!!!
and the panels of chromedome retracting his needles...he was ready to go through w/it just like brainstorm said but rewind was able to convince him otherwise from beyond the grave ;_; its about the LOVE man
like...rewind might not have known about cd’s past husbands and all the bad coping mechanism nonsense surrounding all that (or maybe he did? unclear) but either way, he knows chromedome so well by now, and knows that he’d be devastated by rewind dying, and so he leaves him this final message....additionally, I feel like rewind, being an archivist, would loathe the idea of being erased from the memory of the person who cares for him the most, and his goodbye message succeeded in preventing that
next, to give us a break from extreme emotional devastation brought about by gay robots, we check in with magnus, who has decided he’s had enough of all of this nonsense and has vacated the premise, somehow
aaaaand right back to being hit by a metaphorical emotional bat, because it looks like tailgate’s gonna die posthaste!
I really love how the character profile descriptions change periodically
SO...this issue...this ARC....GODDDD. I mean its clear from my liveblogs that this destroyed me emotionally, phew....
I will say, I think the writing here is so excellent - this little 3-issue ‘arc’ felt like it had been built up to perfectly from the very beginning, and it all came together in a well-paced and devastating conclusion here
I mean, this isn't the end of s1, we still have remain in light, but a lot of plot points wrapped up here. I don't know much about comics but I feel like they can get cancelled pretty fast, and idek how many issues mtmte was ‘guaranteed’ at this point, so I really commend jro & co for being able to construct such a fantastic story with a solid conclusion, while also setting up a bunch more plotlines for what would hopefully be future issues
I will say. I'm super glad rewind ends up coming back, and also that things get a lot gayer soon, bc this would have been devastating to read in a whole different way if it was just a bad ole str8forward bury your gays situation
but since it isn't, then I'm free to be extremely emotional about it, oof
I feel like I've articulate a lot of my thoughts already so ill end here and say: this slaps, cant wait to re-read more
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Animals Chapter One
Warnings: Smut. Lots of it. Though *GASP* I did manage to write protected sex but not all of it is, also some of the smut is just implied. Language, sex, and adorable fluff all at the same time. I don’t know Rami or anyone associated with him.
HUGE SHOUTOUT TO @r-ahh-mi for her dedication, encouragement, suggestions, and her editing advice.
Word Count: 2770
I know that Rami’s timeline for this may not be entirely accurate, but this is my story and I’ve taken liberties.
“C’mon babe it’ll be fun! Seriously, there is no privacy for us anywhere and I’m tired of sneaking around just to get an opportunity to give my girl some proper lovin’” he whined, in your ear. “It’s bad enough that neither of us have been able to travel as much since I left for school, and I miss you so fucking much. I get so much crap from my classmates about how much time I spend thinking about you.”
You were laying down in the backseat of his car, with him still on top of you as you had just finished having some pretty incredible sex. Now he was trying to convince you that both should go on your first random road trip together. Or rather, a spontaneous adventure, as he kept referring to it.
“I don’t know. I have to work and you are only going to be home from school for a very short period of time. Your family misses you a lot and I don’t want to take you away from them more than I already have. I don’t want them to hate me more than I’m sure they already do.”
“Well, that’s up to you. I know you have quite a bit of savings, as do I. Believe it or not, I’ve managed to put away a decent chunk of money, even as a poor college student. Mama taught me how to be frugal. And don’t talk like that because you know for a fact that my family adores you. My brother keeps giving me shit about the fact that we aren’t married yet. He said that he was certain that it would have happened the day you turned eighteen.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at that statement because marriage was something that both of you had talked about since you were both sixteen. Both of you were fairly certain that it was an inevitability for you both.
“You know what? We are young, in love, so why the hell not. Let’s do it. I hate my stupid fucking job anyway and there will always be other job opportunities.”
“That’s the spirit! I love you. I’m so happy that you decided to say yes, because I have a few surprises that I had planned, if you had said yes to this.”
“When should we leave?”
“Tonight?”
“Great, but what time tonight? I get off work at 10, but I don’t want to smell like the diner so I’d want to go home and at least shower first.”
“Since I was going to drop you off at work, I can pick you up and take you home so that you can shower and then we go after that. Does that sound like a plan?”
“Yes. Now come here lover boy. I want you so bad right now. We’ve got time to make up for.”
“Again? Didn’t we just-” you cut him off mid sentence with a kiss. His mouth not putting up much of a fight against yours. Your fingers threading through his wild hair as you pull him closer.
Your naked bodies already tangled together in the backseat of the car, your hips bucked into his, and you can feel his hardening member against your thigh. He stops momentarily to grab his jeans off the floorboard to grab another condom out of his pocket, and he wastes very little time slipping it on.
“Mmmm baby.. I want you so fucking bad.” you murmur against his ear.
Your body,so easily turned on by him, was already slick and ready and you couldn’t help the low moan that escapes you as he slides into you. Wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, you buck your hips in time with his thrusts.
The only sounds you could hear was the squeaking of the car as it rocked in time with your joint movements, and the quiet moans that you were both letting out.
“Ohhhh. Yes baby… don’t stop…”
“Fuck baby, always so tight for me. I love you. You feel so good. Just.. uhhh.. Fuckkkk.. Yesss..”
Skin slapping skin as your hips meet in time with each other, your desperation for each growing in this heated moment. Your nails clawing at his back as his thrusts become more frantic in their pace.
Unable to restrain your pleasure you let it all out with a series of moans as you continued your assault on his back. Your moans only spurred him on further; your bodies slick with sweat, his moans in your ear getting louder.
“Yesss baby…. Godddd… yesss….please don’t stop baby.. Fuckkkk…. I’m so close… So close…. “ you whined in his ear.
His lips descend on yours for a heated kiss as his hips pounded into yours, working to push you over the edge and into the depths of your orgasm.
It took a few more thrusts of his hips to get you there, but you came around him with a muffled scream of his name as your nails dig further into his back. You felt his cock twitch and body stiffen, as he followed you into orgasmic bliss.
His body collapsed on top of yours as you held on to him tightly until you both were recovered enough to finally move again.
“Damn babe. That was hot.” he smiled, your naked bodies still tangled together.
“It always is with you my love.”
“I can feel it now babe, but seriously, I think you fucked up my back. Jesus woman, you are seriously like a fucking cat. I can’t take my shirt off for a while now, or my brother will give me so much shit and the rest of my family will know exactly what the hell we’ve been up to. They know we are together, but I think with them, ignorance is bliss.”
You giggled and could feel yourself turning red with embarrassment. ”I’m sorry my love. I wasn’t even aware that I was doing it, but if it makes you feel better, I won’t walk right for a week.”
The smug look on his face told you that he was content with that knowledge.
“I wouldn’t worry about your back anyway since we are leaving tonight, so who gives a fuck who sees you with a clawed up back. Maybe I was just marking my territory. Hell, I’ve got enough hickies all over me that I might as well be a walking advertisement for ‘committed relationships,’”you shrug as you both sat up in the back seat and started to re-dress.
“I hate when our time together comes to an end like this, but I should probably get you home so that you can get ready for work.”
“Me too. I should just say ‘fuck it’ and just go to work all mussed and smelling like sex,” you giggled again.
“Oh fuck babe, that would be so hot, but no, I promised my brother that we’d go to dinner tonight. He knows how bad I want to see you though so he suggested that we go to your diner for dinner. Their burgers at least are delicious,” he smiled into your hair.
“I love you so much Rami. I swear you are the best and bless your brother for giving up some of his precious little time with you just for us. Maybe I fell in love with the wrong twin,” you tease, laughing at the mock hurt on his face.
“How dare you!” he gasps in shock as he dramatically places his hand over his heart.
“Oh you!” you poke him in his stomach and he yelps. “Always so freaking dramatic…”
“I’m an actor, that’s what I’m supposed to do. Ya know? Be dramatic!” he exclaimed.
You roll your eyes at him,”You’ve always been a dramatic ass bitch, but it’s alright, I still love you anyway.”
“Ugh.” he dramatically sighed.
“Seriously? The dramatics again.”
His laugh was loud as he playfully shoved you before he opened the back door of the car and climbed out, stretching his body. God you almost started drooling watching his muscles flex and move as he stretched.. His shirt riding up on his stomach just a little bit, and for some reason you had to resist the urge to bite it. Next time, you are definitely going to leave a little mark there, right above the ‘v’ of his delicious hips. Leave your mark on him, like staking a claim, a little something that temporarily marks him as yours.
You followed his lead and exited the back of the car, smoothing your dress down over your hips before leaning against the drivers side door waiting for him to wander his way back to you. Once he was in front of you, you throw your arms around his neck and give him a sweet chaste kiss.
“I love you so damn much. How the hell did I get so damn lucky?” you smiled, tears filling your eyes from all of the random emotions swirling around inside of you.
“Aw baby don’t cry. I love you too! Don’t doubt yourself love, because I’m the lucky one. The luckiest man alive because I have you,” he reassured as you sniffled into his chest.
“No way. Me. I’m… I’m.. I’m.. just.. I’m so plain,” You gestured to your body as if to demonstrate your point.
“Excuse me. No. I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you. I see a beautiful woman with the kindest eyes, beautiful hair, and a generous heart. I’m the lucky one because have you seen me? The guy with big eyes that looks so different from the majority of my peers.” He tried echoing your earlier movements.
“No! Don’t you ever say that!” you yelled. “You’re eyes are so expressive and gorgeous. I’ve known you forever and I still can’t figure out exactly what fucking color they are. They are… I call them ‘ocean eyes’ because they are ever changing from green to blue to sometimes gray. You are so talented and anyone that doesn’t see how talented you are is a fucking loser. And you will be successful no matter what because you want it, your live it, you fight for it. You are the love of my life, and I will stand behind you and support you no matter what!” You said holding him a little tighter now, because you know how insecure he can be about the way he looks.
“Oh babe. Look at us, arguing over our looks. If anyone overheard this conversation they would think we are the two most shallow individuals on the planet,” he laughs, trying to lighten the mood.
“Rami, this is fucking LA, ninety-eight percent of the population is made up of a bunch of shallow assholes. So for someone to overhear a conversation about our looks would just think we are another bunch of wannabe somethings.”
He let out another bark of laughter before he kisses your forehead.
“Okay, we need to get going now or both of us are going to be late.”
It was your turn to laugh again before you pointed out the fact that his name should actually be Rami Late-For-Everything Malek. To which he actually just flipped you the bird and that made you laugh so much harder than you already were. That was your Rami; playful and fun, sarcastic and just.. he was always making you laugh.
Sighing you climb into the passenger seat and buckle up. He puts the car in drive and cranks the radio up. You both sing along loudly and off-key to nearly every song that came on. Time seemed to pass by all too quickly and before you knew it, you were outside your house. You lean over to give him a not so chaste kiss, pulling away all too quickly.
“I’ll see you in a few hours baby. Oh, I forgot to tell you, bring your birth certificate and passport with you, just in case we decide to do something reckless on our little trip,” he smiled conspiratorially at you before giving you a wink. He can’t wink for shit, but it's adorable watching him try.
Confusion racking your brain, but not questioning his motives, you shut the door, and watch him drive away. Feeling like you were floating on air, you nearly dance your way into the house that you share with your parents and begin packing for your trip.
You decide to pack fairly light, even though you have no clue how long this trip is going to last for and you grab the documents that he requested that you bring with you, putting them in a plastic Ziploc bag, and shoving them into your backpack.
You decided to lay down for about an hour to take a small nap before work; your body a little tired from the vigorous activities earlier this afternoon. Waking with your alarm, you get up and take a quick shower. Then you get dressed in your ugly work uniform, grab your bags and head out the door as you stood at the end of your driveway waiting for Rami to show. He’s a little late like always so your mind wanders back to what he had said earlier. What could he possibly mean by ‘if we decide to do something reckless’?
The thoughts roll around in your brain- you must have looked like an idiot standing there lost in thought that you barely registered that he had pulled up.
“Yoooo babe!!!” he hollered out the window which snapped you out of your thoughts.
“Sorry, I’m comin!” you holler back. “Oh pop the trunk I’m going to throw my shit in there.”
He does as you ask and you toss your backpack and small duffle bag into the trunk of his car and you notice that he has several bags already in there, including what looked like a garment bag.
“Hey Sami!” you smile, as you climb into the backseat. You hadn’t even realized that his brother was in the car with him when he pulled up.
“Hey Y/N. How’ve you been?” he asks, a small smile on his face.
“Great, but you don’t have to ask, I just saw you last week before Rami came home. So compared to how I was last week I am doing so much better. Happier. Ugh babe, I can’t believe the seat isn’t dry yet. Jesus it’s had a few hours to bake in the sun and it’s still wet. Now my ass is going to be all wet when I get to work.”
Sami nearly spit his water all over the dash as his brother was now speeding down the highway towards your place of work; Rami just wore a smirk.
“You two are fucking disgusting. Animals.” Sami grumbles.
“That we are Sami-cakes, but the sex is always worth it,” you managed to get out between fits of giggles.
“Dude, she just called me ‘Sami-cakes’ like.. Seriously?”
“She calls me Rami-cakes, so Sam that just means that she likes you. She did tell me earlier that she thinks perhaps she fell in love with the wrong twin.”
The twins laughter rang through the car against the noise of traffic.
“So what the hell did you two do while I wasn’t around?
“The same thing we always do, just bro stuff.” Rami replied.
“Oh. I took a nap, because dealing with people gets irritating, and it’s even worse when I’m tired. I also think that my body needed a rest after the vigorous activities from earlier.”
“Awwww I wore you out.”
“Ewwww.. I don’t need to hear this,” Sami smirked, while plugging his ears.
“Don’t worry ya prude, your brother gave it to me good, more than once. Good lord his stamina and recovery time is the stuff of legends.” you state as Sami just made gagging noises.
“That’s on a need to know basis, and I DO NOT need to know this.”
All too soon the car pulled up to the diner that you worked in, and you said your goodbyes to the twins, kissed your boyfriend not so chastely in front of his brother who just let out another series of gagging noise which caused you to have another fit of giggles.
“Before you go love, I just wanted to tell you again how much I fucking love you, and I’m glad you’re home even if it’s just for a brief period of time.”
“I know. I love you too, but I gotta go before I make you late, or my brother causes me physical harm, whichever comes first.”
tags: @warmommy @xmxisxforxmaybe @free-rami @mrhoemazzello @spacedustmazzello @itsme690 @ramimedley @safinsscar @ladyr0b0t @youthtea @ramisgirl512 @hissom1933 @sassystrawberryk @ramimalekpan @breadnbutternips @doing-all-write @itslula1991 @sasha--1996 @imnottiredofgettingoveryou @alottanothing @mezzomercury @theultraviolencefan @the-real-ramimalekpeen @sasha--1996 @hazeleyedbeth @txmel @w0lfglrl17 @adoremalek @angeleyesmalek @rawmemalek @lunasasylum @lablanchett @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye
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Riverdale S4 Ep10 Thoughts *Spoilers*
- Spirit Week is always one of the best weeks of school. It was always so fun because people would actually dress up in whatever the theme was for the day and as someone who wasn’t popular, it made me feel like I belonged, even if for a day 🥺🥺 Also, i’m still wondering how convenient it is that Stonewall, a rich private school, is into football and not, like, tennis or some boring shit (sorry to anyone to plays tennis lol I just don’t like sports and it was the first sport that came to mind)
- “Ace reporter Betty Cooper” mmhmkay… Jughead it’s cute that you’re hyping her up but if you call butting into everyone’s business with no regard for people’s personal space or feelings, then sure, she’s an ace reporter.
- Don’t EVER not go to a college because of your significant other. If Jughead doesn’t go because of Betty……...
- VEGGIE IS SPEAKING?! Also patenting takes years so Hiram shouldn’t be able to have patented it, but um anyways I’ll let it slip because the writers ****
- CHONI BEING THE CUTEST COUPLE AS ALWAYS AND ALL THEY’RE DOING IS HOLIND HANDS UGHHHHH
- Barchie content YESSSS!! THEY REMEMBERED THAT THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS!!!
- AND Beggie content??? 👀👀👀 God imagine the flavor
- Suddenly Monroe and Reggie are besties umm yess?? We love that growth since last time we saw them Reggie was jealous of Monroe and now they’re a three man squad
- Wait Frank is… living at the center?? AND HAS BEEN FOR WEEKS AND MARY DOESN’T KNOW??? Jesus Christ…
- Betty… isn’t trying to keep Jughead back? The ooc is doing right… LET JUGHEAD GO TO YALE!!
- Can we not have adults coming at teenagers like??? What is Ras’s obsession with it?? It’s boring, give them something else to do
- It’s so sad how Bret and Betty have more chemistry than Betty and Jughead… maybe it’s because Bret isn’t going to be her step brother <3
- Can Veronica, a teenager, not be selling alcohol??? Can we stop this pLEASE… give my baby better plots!!! she deserves it!! let cami show off her talent
- BRET GIVING JUGHEAD A LAPTOP AND THAT CUTE SMIRK………. STOP SETTING ME UP FOR FAILURE I KNOW HE’S THE BAD GUY AND THAT JUGHEAD IS ONLY ALLOWED TO BE WITH HIS STEP SISTER BUT PLEASEEE
- I know the Vixen’s are Cheryl’s but why is she so adamant to lead them? I just want normal Cheryl and cute, healthy Choni please like it’s NOT that hard to write good, interesting plots….. and have characters grow… We are sick of adults being in weird, unrealistic rivalries with teenagers!!!!
- IS THAT THE GUY FROM CAOS?! Whoever, though,,, he cuteee 👀
- I just realized that Jughead was so disgusted at the idea of a cult (farm and g&g when it was mixed in the beginning) but is now in a cult. Oh, sorry… “secret society”
- DONNA :((( BABYYYYYYYYY!!! Also the fact that they all have to share these traumas each time a new person comes in :((((
- BRET HAS A MICKEY MILKOVICH VIBE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL OR WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION
- Jughead looks so guilty aw my poor baby (low-key could barely understand what he was saying but like I understood the basis so um)
- TONI HAS SPOKEN?! And, of course, it’s for Toni calling after Cheryl. Why can’t it be for something normal? Why is this dumb cheryl-vs-coach thing a plot? It’s normal for coaches to lead cheerleading teams, not the head cheer captain (at least, they help but they’re not in control of every little thing) why couldn’t we have had Toni reigning Cheryl in to calm her down and stop her from this unnecessary warpath?
- not another fucking fight… bring back the serpents it was much more interesting
- “Wait, you box?” Frank asks as he was living in the fucking center… with boxing shit everywhere…
- OHHHH SO NOWWWWWW BETTY CARES ABOUT GENUINE CONFESSIONS AND PROOF? Since the fuck when?? She has to be in control of everything, and therefore is impulsive and doesn’t think. before she does anything. She has NEVER cared to get proof before setting her mind on something and trying to get a confession (which also isn’t her job in the first place)
- So now Betty likes Veronica’s “femme fatale” aura… usually she slut shames her for it smh but now that it’s convenient… mmhm much to think about.
- An adult that actually grounds their kids I—wow, never knew Riverdale could do that.
- If Veronica gets hurt going undercover, I’m going to literally end someone. like Betty already did this kind of shit to Cheryl and all she got was a half-assed, forced apology I think (or did I just imagine that?)
- Suddenly Bret is a sleazy asshole telling some random girl to undress and go to his room? He has NEVER acted like this before… but the plot calls for it 🙄🙄 it’s like when Sweet Pea and Fangs, out of NOWHERE were being sexist towards the pretty poisons
- JERONICA CRUMBS WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!! I LITERALLY FEEL LIKE I’M BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE!! The power they have over a five second scene
- Betty, your relationship with Jughead is BASED on lies and keeping secrets. And BH finally having an actual fight felt so… genuine. Sad it lasted for two seconds.
- CAN HIRAM JUST DIE PLEASE THIS PLOT IS SO DUMBBBBBBBBBBB WE DON’T CARE THAT HIRAM IS A WHINY, OBSESSED LITTLE BITCH
- Hiram just said he went straight LMAO SUREEEEEEE HIRAM!! Finally, Veronica stands her ground and stays on that path damn it took FOUR FUCKING SEASONS.
- Yeah, Dupont, Betty and jughead’s relationship is more like sibling love so <3
- IF FRANK OFFERS MONROE SOMETHING ILLEGAL…. OH MY GODDDD NOOOOO WHY DOES EVERY ADULT—
- “No, it’s better” (her article/exposé) Betty, I don’t even care that what you wrote is actually a good exposé but you acting all high and mighty automatically makes me want to side with Mr. Honey.
- NOOO LET JUGHEAD GO TO YALE DAMMIT :((( It’ll let us have our college!Jeronica au come to life please and thanks
- AS IF THE COACH CAN’T SEE CHERYL’S SHADOW ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SJSJJSJSJS????
- VERONICA DOING CHERYL’S “FACT” THING UGH WE LOVE CHERONICA!! God I’m gonna have to listen to this random song and dance for no reason again just because I watched it earlier……. it would have been less cringey if they didn’t have to say “daddy”
- That guttural stonewall scream gives me Turbo from Daybreak vibes and uhhh I low-key love it
- Also it’s good to see Kevin 🥺🥺🥺 sad he has no lines but what’s new
- I JUST REALIZED THAT ARCHIE IS BLEEDING :( I’m low-key not really paying attention because sports is boring to me but I looked up from typing these up and saw and I have no idea what happened but um
- “He’s a grown man” (Frank to Archie, about Monroe) MONROE ISN’T A GROWN MAN??? HE’S A TEENAGER??? Also not them talking about Monroe taking DRUGS… OUT LOUD………
- Archie with that sweaty hair part thoooo 👀👀👀
- Betty’s condescending voice Jesus fucking christ when talking to Bret about how they may have won, but she’s not done digging into Stonewall… HOWEVER, BRET AND BETTY’S CHEMISTRY AND THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS POSSIBILITY UGHHHHH I THOUGHT OF IT AS A JOKE AT FIRST A WHILE AGO BUT LIKE….
- Reggie keys Hiram’s car and leaves Veronica’s… flyer? It looked liked? In his gas tank. Either they cut out the reaction scene or them setting it up but like… nothing happened.
- Yes, Archie, those drugs helped Monroe play the game and changed his life, but it could have complications later. Meaning it’s not permanent and then later his leg will be even MORE screwed up but sure, be happy that it made him happy……..
- I love a Cheronica team up!!! The best idea possible even though it’s two teenagers making RUM but whatever it’s different and actually interesting so let’s HOPE they don’t fuck it up (we know that somehow they will, most likely by having Hiram sabotage after Veronica blabs about her fucking plans even though we all know she’s smarter than that. Blame bad writing)
- MR. HONEY DON’T FEED INTO BETTY’S ANNOYING COMPETITIVE TENDENCIES WHERE SHE HAS TO BE RIGHT WHYYYY… this quiz ep has the ability to be good but I know it’s going to be everybody else being dumbed down to make Betty look good like always smh (as if Cheryl, Veronica, and Toni aren’t smart as fuck)
- not FP giving his own son alcohol despite many episodes ago refusing to let him…????? make it make sense
- high key forgot about this bs jughead is dead thing…also why does Betty look like she was fake crying over his stuff lmao
- Imagine if a plotwist happened and like Bret and Jughead had become a thing and he knew that Betty killed him and all that shit… but sucks we’re stuck with incest </3
- WAIT… BETTY IS ALSO GOING TO YALE???? HOW??? SHE WAS LITERALLY REJECTED???
- What angers me about Riverdale’s plots is that they genuinely could be great, but they either overuse them or dramatize it SO much that it kills any possible enjoyment. I want to enjoy Betty and Bret for some reason squaring off even though Bret is a part of JUGHEAD’S plot but like there’s already so many square offs and it’s so annoying and repetitive… anyways lets go Bret so he can put Betty down a peg or two or five even though we all know Betty’s suddenly going to become the smartest bitch alive because she’s on this dumb pedestal!! Hey so like… is there a way to break the pedestal Betty’s placed on because I am SICK
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Akskdkdk I’m not crying I just got some tww feelings in my eyes and to the rest of tww fans you’re welcome (I’m the biggest one of them all) let it be multi chapter 🤲🏻
did i take one person asking for something and turn it into a spinoff semi romance novel? i… may have.
Eliza -
Colleen -
(for funsies)
Fall 2018
Eliza wouldn’t say she loved her work study job in the registrar’s office. But she had friends with various other jobs throughout campus, and she knew because of their tales that her job wasn’t the worst.
Would she love to trade with her new friend, Sara, and have the job in the printing lab in the library, where she would just have to un-jam the printer and restock it with paper, then sit on her laptop? Of course. But she was also nosy as fuck and she got a lot of insider info from her supervisor here. Plus, she got all of the registration codes early. So who was the real winner?
Still Sara.
“Hello? Hi. I’m sorry, are you busy? I’m - I’m not trying to be obnoxious, but I really really have to get into a class, and I have nowhere else to go to ask. I’ve tried the professor, I’ve tried her TA. I’ve asked all of the upperclassmen I know. And this is the final stop before I may very well have a breakdown.”
A frantic, pleading voice interrupted her IG scrolling. It was technically one of her two fifteen minute breaks that she got during her five hour shift. She intended to tell the interloper that she would have to wait until the other side of the office didn’t have a line, because where her desk was, was technically closed.
But Eliza had never seen an angel in real life before. And she was such a simple, simple lesbian.
Never in her life had she ever been struck like this, though. The tousled blonde hair that she could see was usually nice and orderly. The clothes that screamed an upper-middle class (at the very least) background, though trendy.
Blue eyes crystal clear but starting to brim with tears.
“I’m not busy. What can I do for you?”
“Thank the gods! In order to graduate on time with my major and both of my minors, I need to double up on some courses. Which means I have to take some courses before I’m technically supposed to. So, I got permission to take Ethnicity and Identity with Dr. Oakhart next semester, even though it’s a semester early. Because I need to take Cultures of Essos the semester after, and it’s a prereq. But it took forever to get permission to take Oakhart’s class early; I had to basically camp out in her office,” a little laugh fluttered out, anxiously. “And now? She gave me permission but told me she wouldn’t let me jump the waitlist. I just. I really need to get into that class. Can you even just tell me how long the waitlist is, maybe? Please?”
Someone was wound extremely tightly. It wasn’t usually something Eliza, as a laidback person, enjoyed. But she was already charmed.
“Let me check.”
She typed in her credentials into the system as she surreptitiously glanced up at the girl. Her cheeks were flushed and seven hells. She was cute.
“You really camped out in her office?”
“Huh?” A fleeting smile flashed over her face, and it warmed everything inside of her. “Oh. Well, I know it sounds crazy in retrospect. I can just sometimes get very focused.”
“I gotcha.” Eliza did not, in fact, relate. But her pretending to put this girl at ease.
She pulled up Oakhart’s Gender and Identity class for the spring – and yikes, there was a waitlist a mile long.
“That’s not a good face.”
“Ouch.” She kidded.
“Gods! No, your face isn’t -”
She stopped her before she could ramble anymore. Especially because she wasn’t sure she could handle some sort of mangled compliment from this gorgeous creature without stumbling over herself. “It’s cool. Uh, yeah, no the waitlist isn’t bad.” She lied through her teeth.
“It’s not?” The could-be model’s voice was as incredulous as it should be, as she tried to lean over the counter to see the computer. Like she had to see to believe.
And Eliza quickly turned the computer more toward herself, “Uh, you can’t - against policy-” once again, the lies.
“Sorry. That was probably crossing a line.” She blew out a deep breath and her shoulders deflated. “I guess, can you just put me on the bottom of the list?”
“Yeah,” she lied, fully intending on breaking the rules, as she clicked the top of the waitlist to flag her into the class. “I just need… your name.”
She very much wanted to learn her name.
“Colleen Durand. D-U-R-A-N-D,” she spelled it, and Eliza could very easily see that she’d spelled her name or heard it spelled just so in order to get places in life many times.
She typed her name into the first place on the wait list. “I imagine you will probably hear about this class sometime soon. Don’t fill this block on your class schedule.”
An all too brief, but brightly blazing smile stole her breath. “Thanks so much.” Colleen checked her wrist, a nice looking silver watch glinting in the light coming in from the window. “Gods, I have to go. All right. Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome!” She called after her.
Colleen Durand. She loved the registrar’s office.
Spring 2019
Approaches to Comparative Literature… was a joke.
Colleen rarely thought of classes like that, because all she had in her head was her mother’s voice, saying, “If I’m paying for you to go to a public institution“ - even though it wasn’t in the top 5 universities in the nation (god forbid she go to a public university, even if it was ranked as one of the top ten colleges in the country) - “You’d better be bringing back nothing short of straight A’s.”
She was a junior in college, was on track to graduate at the top of her class even with having two minors - she took 6 classes a semester, not counting the summer and winter semester courses she took. And she took all of them seriously - took color coded notes by hand, sat in the front of the class.
But this course… she just couldn’t. She tried for the first two weeks, learned that the professor left much of his job up to the TA, and then said TA had hit on her in an extremely slimy way and she - well, after that she started slipping into the back row. Just this one class wouldn’t hurt.
She was the only one in her row and sitting in the back gave her a whole new perspective.
It especially gave her a perspective on the girl she’d only known as Nice Girl at the registrar office who doesn’t think I’m crazy before now, and now she knew her name - Eliza.
Eliza, she’d learned from sitting in the front, types vigorously during every class on her laptop and occasionally makes very funny commentary.
It was only in switching her seat to sit behind Eliza that she realized she isn’t taking notes on her laptop, but was instead just being very active on various social medias. Mostly twitter.
@elizathesapphicSCREAMING my TA just announced that some of our earliest lgbt writers were great friends and roommates. i could teach this course better lmao
She wasn’t wrong.
@elizathesapphica limerick -there once was a TA from hellwhose hair is rock solid from gelhis voice is nasally and gratinghis ignorance is so fucking frustratinglet’s not forget he’s smarmy as well
Colleen had genuinely had to smother a laugh from that one. And, it turned out, from many others. The semester passed in a blur of moments - her twentieth birthday, an intense and stressful visit from her mom, juggling 6 courses and her first practicum - but Eliza stands out.
They don’t talk, because… well, what would they even talk about? They seem like really different people and Eliza is super lively, but she learns a lot about her.
If it wasn’t obvious from her twitter handle (obviously), she’s a lesbian. Who very much loves Margaery Tyrell - someone Colleen vaguely knows is a recently out politician - and Sansa Stark - who Colleen is very familiar with, because of the writings she’d done and the classes she’d taken that Sansa had TA’d for before she’d finished her master’s - and their very public relationship.
As well as many, many other lesbian celebrities and television shows that Colleen does not watch or follow, but is still entertained by because Eliza is entertaining.
At the end of the semester, she follows Eliza’s twitter on the account she never uses that is basically untraceable to her. It has her name on it, sure, but nothing else. No pictures. No retweets.
But Eliza’s twitter is good for a laugh and sometimes she needs that.
Fall 2019
“Ohhhh my godddd, Sara. Can you believe it’s her?” Eliza wrapped her arm around her best friend’s shoulders, pulling her close - as if they could shrink back against the wall behind them.
They were going home the following day for winter break and so it seemed like everyone who had an off campus apartment was throwing a party. Which was great because Eliza hadn’t gone out this semester much at all. There had been too much work and too much - uhhh well, being lazy and not wanting to leave her dorm when she could binge watch shows with Sara.
Sara elbowed her in the side accidentally as they fell back against the wall. “It’s who?”
She pointed across the large living area full of tipsy-to-drunk college students, to the front door. “Colleen! She - I don’t think she ever comes out? Why do you think she is right now?”
Sara’s eyes rolled before she jostled their shoulders. “Oh you mean your cruuuush. I don’t know, it’s the end of the semester. Everyone’s out. It’s not a big deal.”
Eliza ignored her and stared at Colleen as she and a friend Eliza recognized didn’t know the name of - she was a master social media creep but that didn’t help when someone didn’t have social medias - chatted and made their way across the room.
And her heart started racing. “Oh my gods. Oh. She’s coming over here. Do you think she -”
“We’re right next to the drinks, why do you think she’s coming over?” Sara’s retort quickly popped her rapidly inflating hopes, and she trained a critical eye on Colleen-Gorgeous-Durand. “That is dream crush girl?”
Eliza spun so quickly to face Sara that she nearly sloshed her vodka cranberry over the rim of her cup. “How can you say it like - like that? Look at her!”
“I mean. She is pretty. In a buttoned up way.” Sara turned to face her, having to tilt her head up just enough to quirk an eyebrow. “Is that your type? You haven’t dated much in our eight month friendship tenure.”
Eliza scoffed. “No! No. I don’t have a… type.” She started slapping Sara’s arm, “Ohhhh gods, she’s coming, she’s coming, she’s -”
Sara caught her hand and held it tight, hissing, “Calm down, you look insane.”
Colleen approached them with a nervous looking smile. “Hey. Can I ask where you got your drink?” She surveyed the table in front of her, dubiously, “I just don’t really see the mixer I want -”
It was like an automatic reaction. Eliza’s hand shot out and offered her cup, “Take it! Still full. Just made it. Made tons of them. See?” She held it up so the rim reflected the dim light. “I didn’t take a sip yet or anything. I can go make another cup.”
Those sky blue eyes were so brilliantly light and she gave the slightest twitch of an eyebrow as she accepted Eliza’s drink. “Um… thanks?”
“Yeah. No prob. Enjoy.” She grinned, knowing it was too bright for the moment, but whatever.
She felt triumphant, even when Sara collapsed against her in a fit of giggles as Colleen walked away. “Holy shit. I see now why you haven’t dated.”
“Um, what is that supposed to mean? She sought me out.” Now that she replayed the interaction, though, she could… sort of… see where she’d gone wrong.
Oh, fuck.
Sara only laughed harder, letting Eliza’s hand go and wrapping it around her waist in a hug. “Listen.” She tried to calm her laughter. “Listen. What I just witnessed means one of two things: your crush is an absolute idiot who took a drink from you, a weird ass stranger at a party. Or she actually somewhat recognizes you, too, and doesn’t think you’re a creepy stranger.”
“Oh, fuck. Now I need to find more cranberry juice.”
Spring 2020
“Who’s that girl over there? She keeps looking at us.” Colleen’s friend and flatmate, Natalia, commented. They were in the dining hall, which is a rarity since they hadn’t lived on campus since they were freshmen.
“What girl?”
“Pretty, dark hair, dark eyes. She has like 4 piercings up her ear. She has a rainbow pin on her backpack. Seems gay.”
Pretty with dark hair and eyes, the earrings, and the dead giveaway rainbow pin already tells her it’s most likely Eliza Harlow, even before she turns and looks. Colleen rolls her eyes. “How does she seem gay? Besides the rainbow pin,” she adds on, even though she knows - of course Eliza Harlow is gay.
Her still very active twitter is still hilarious and very, very full of lesbian pop culture. It’s gotten almost kind of frustrating, the fact that Eliza never really posts anything about herself on her twitter. Colleen definitely knows she is a lesbian more than anything - she posted something just last night about a pro soccer player and proclaimed that her lesbian heart wasn’t going to survive her coming out.
But she never posts anything about her own life. It’s not like Colleen cares? But she can’t help but be intrigued. It’s weird. But maybe that’s just the culture they live in these days.
She still turns and looks where Natalia is pointing, anyway. Sure enough, Eliza is sitting - backpack perched on the table next to her bagel, rainbow pin on display - with her ever present friend whose name Colleen knows is Sara (thanks, twitter). Pretty with her dark hair curling, as usual, over her shoulders.
And, Natalia was right. She’s throwing looks over at them.
Eliza had spoken to her for the first time, without having to do so for a class project, last week. She’d tossed her backpack over her shoulder super casually - Colleen had noticed out of the corner of her eye, as she’d packed up her own bag - and approached her.
“Can I borrow your notes?”
Colleen was always loathe to part with her notes. She took pride in them - even color coded them - and she doubted that strangers would take as much care with them as they deserved.
But Eliza… well, she didn’t really know her. But she didn’t feel like a stranger either. Especially with her eyes looking all hopeful and nervous. She wondered if Eliza had fallen behind in class with all of the work she was doing on her social medias. Or on her work for the internship she had at the Red Keep (thanks, twitter).
She’d handed over her notebook with a smile that was genuine.
“Whatever. The rainbow pin is why she seems gay, fine. But she’s coming over here.” Natalia brings her back to the moment, making a face at the meatloaf she’s eating before she pushes the tray away.
Colleen sat up straighter, dropping her own fork. “That’s Eliza. We’re in Valyrian Lit class together.”
Eliza walked even closer, looking… apprehensive. Her big, expressive eyes were downcast, as she worried at her generous bottom lip. Which was weird because no, she didn’t know Eliza personally. But she kind of did know her personality. And she was not apprehensive.
It took a moment for Colleen to notice the notebook in her hands. And that it wasn’t the same green one - always green notebooks for lit classes - she’d given Eliza three days ago.
“Hey! Colleen! Hey. Uhhh. I have… your notebook.” Eliza held out the notebook toward her, shifting back and forth on her feet. “Your notes were - great. Such a help.”
“No problem, but…” Colleen eyed the notebook - a mint green as opposed to her hunter green. “That’s not mine.”
“No, it is! I - it is.” Eliza cleared her throat and slid it down onto the table. “It’s definitely yours, now. Um. The thing is. My obnoxious roommate - I didn’t choose her? I was supposed to live with my friend, but then housing got all messed up and. It’s a whole thing,” she waved her hand, and Colleen, despite being so anal about what the fuck happened to her notebook, couldn’t help but be entertained. “The point is, she spilled her coffee all over your notebook.”
“What?!” All the gods, her notes. All her time and color coordination. And that had all of her handouts and - fuck. Dr. Lannister was not an easy professor to pass, his exams were notoriously difficult -
“Ohhhh, shit,” Natalia whispered.
Eliza quickly flipped the notebook open, frantically pointing at the pages. “No! Wait. I, I dried out your notebook and spent all last night re-writing your notes. I tried finding a matching notebook, but this was the only green one they had at the store. And I bought colored pens, because I figured out the color system, too. It’s all there. I swear. And I made copies of all of the handouts and put them in the back. Thanks. For the notes. I’ll never ask again, I swear.”
She hitched her backpack over her shoulder without another word and spun on her heel.
Colleen leaned over the table to peek at her notes and… wow. Eliza really did figure out her color coding system, even down to the obsessive tonal color changes for different types of literature. And. She skimmed her eyes quickly over the page - Eliza definitely left some insightful notes in here that Colleen herself had missed.
She turned her head to see if she could even call out her thanks to Eliza, but she was too far away. All she could see was the other girl slapping her palm against her forehead as she turned to leave the hall.
It made her smile.
Fall 2020
Professor Stark tapped her hands on her desk, “And as much as I know group projects aren’t everyone’s favorite thing, the sad reality is that we have to work with people in real life that we don’t get to choose. So, you will all individually document what you do in this project and then evaluate each other’s contributions at the end. You have your groups, the rubrik, and some examples to start with. Even though the project isn’t due for over a month, I would highly recommend starting it early.”
Eliza wouldn’t say she loved group work by any means, especially when the groups were assigned.
Colleen caught her eye and asked, “You want to come to my place this weekend to get started? I really don’t like to wait until the last minute for these kinds of things.”
Eliza was pretty sure she was going to write Sansa Stark a thank you letter.
#those who wait#sorta? spinoff#kinda romance novel#part 1#at the very least it is giving me some fresh writing ideas flowing#ive needed this#thank you for having a modicum of interest anon#this just sets up some history for us was was funsies to write
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I just have to say
I was possibly exposed to Rabies and came to Tumblr for help and advice and was THOROUGHLY AND DISTURBINGLY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE RABIES TAG.
Omg
I was convinced I was going to die and searching anything Rabies related was UNHELPFUL AF. Not judging but y'all did not help lol.
Very long explanation of why I thought I was going to die:
Waking up to a bat (2 nights in a row) is not automatic cause to assume you will die but it is, I found out after talking to the Dept. Of Agriculture and their Epidemiologist, an immediate cause to go straight to the ER and get shot up with the vaccine and immunoglobulin so you DON'T POTENTIALLY DIE. It is not something the doctors can argue against and it is not something you should postpone. Especially since I was "under the influence" (Nyquil) at the time and even less likely to notice if I had gotten scratched or bitten. My being unaware was the key point in the urgency of going to the ER.
The ER doc was highly annoyed I knew just what to say ("I woke up with a bat in my face") and he grumpily admitted he was bound to follow CDC protocol. His annoyance was so obvious he repeatedly told me how unlikely it was I was bit and explained how "intense" the shots would be. I assume he felt the medicine could be put to better use on someone who was 100% sure and/or was injured. When I asked him what would happen to me if I WAS bitten and didn't get the shot like he wanted, he sighed and admitted "Well, you die."
"Well, shoot me up, doc!"
That night I got 7 shots. One in my arm, which hurt so bad--I guess because my nurse was new and may habe gone too deep because the subsequent shots I have gotten in the same arm haven't been anywhere near as painful-- and 6 in my buttcheeks. 3 in each.
Waking up from my Nyquil coma to a bat in my face was not fun. I had never related to those movie scenes of people screaming and running around afraid if bats. But jessuz. They are fast. And this one was swooping around my living room and deliberately getting super close to me. I had to hide under my blanket and in my fevered state this made me sweat. Trying to herd it to my now opened windows did not help. I tried to call police, fireman andnanimal control; the 1st two were useless and the 3rd was not open at 1am.
Eventually I reached out to my townie facebook group and got advice. White towels attract them. Or make it dark and quiet and hide--I did this as I was not going to run around with a towel in my undies like that video--which worked. 2 very concerned people urged me to go to a doctor.
"You say you have flu-like symptoms and a constant fever and you sleep in that room a lot. You really need to go to the ER. Rabies is so dangerous."
And after 2 nights of dealing with bats and my fever spiking right around the time they show up, I existed in a dark hole of stress. So much so that the second morning I woke up to my hand twitching erratically and my thumb muscle spasming and I started bawling. I had already gotten the shots the day before so I knew if I encountered anything rabid I should be okish (I still had 3 more to go before I was fully protected) but now, with my glitchy hand, I was panicking about "WHAT IF I ALREADY HAD IT?!"
Urgent Care had ruled out Strep twice for my odd sickness and had assured me I have a random virus and to just stay in bed for a few days. Which I had been doing faithfully, before getting bored and moving to my livingroom nest. I like to sleep in there a lot and often do when the weather is nice. I just made sure to drink water and tea and get sunlight and all the things. Including Nyquil. But my fevers were getting worse. I was feeling like crap. And now what we all assumed to be A Normal Virus was morphing into my worst nightmare.
Probably egged on by 101 temperatures, I called around until someone was willing to explaon to me whether I was dying or not. Getting told "You'll be fine. It is SO RARE," did not calm me down. I needed someone to explain how the long incubation period (months to a year) and symptoms (flu like, emotional, twitchy) did not match me.
I slept in that room on accident and on purpose since moving in almost 9 months ago. I'm a heavy sleeper and don't wake up easily. Iffff I had been bitten during one of my all-nighters doing math homework or essay writing, it makes sense I would suddenly get a random "virus" that isn't going away. I had it all worked out in my head. I was getting headaches in the sun and stores. I forced myself outside and out and about when I felt ok because fuck it if I was going to let this be a symptom I had. I was getting anxious in the shower but, knowing fear of water was a symptom, I forced myself to stay in it. (Turns out my paranoia was right. The water was starting to be hard and my skin was breaking out. It is very annoying. The timing was just horrendous)
All the doctors and nurses kindly told me I was safe since I had started the shots but no one had an answer for me when I asked if they helped if I hadddd it already. They weren't sure. The amount of information they have or are willing to share is astonishingly low.
After 2 hours of phone tag I was finallly able to get an appointment with an Infectious Disease Doctor. She told me that if I did have it there was no real evidence about the vaccine helping, especially since I had only had the first dose at that point. She told me it would be fast though and they couldn't tell until "you're foaming at the mouth." She asked to look in my mouth and when I told her about my drooliness she said to let her know if it got worse. She asked about my hand. I told her. She asked about numbness and I freaked cuz my arm did go numb at one point.
I askwd her about tests. I had read that there were a few--spinal fluid, spit, blood--that were not really reliable. She said since I had the vaccine and immunoglobulin in my system already they would show up and it would be pointless.
My only option was to wait. And chill. And try not to dwell on the fact that there is no answer or cure or way to find out if I should plan my trip to Oregon and die or if I should allow my boyfriend to visit me.
He was firmly in the You Don't Have Rabies camp and came over anyway to feed me soup and hang out. But I refused to kiss him. It made him very sad and probably extremely exasperated.
My boss was so done with me when he asked if I could come in the next day. "Sasha. You cannot have Rabies. Just come to work. You'll be fine." And I realized how crazy I sounded but I still warned all my coworkers.
Anyway, my lowgrade fever continued, my twitchiness stopped, my drooling stopped, my water was hard so I avoided the shower but cleaned my good bits, and once I doubled up my water intake my headaches disappeared. I went into a mini death spiral for a day but decided to force myself into believing I was fine.
When I started getting confused and fainty, I bought Iron supplements. When I started getting angry and anxious, I called my friends and got distracted. When it was time to get another shot, I made sure to update everyone of the weirdness Just In Case.
One nurse took the time to sit me down and listwn. That's really all I needed since no one had answers. I just needed my mind soothed and concerns not dismissed. She couldn't explain the muscle spasm but could definitely see why I was freaking out. She was the one who tested me for peace of mind. She looked into Lyme disease. She found my anemia. She explained that the amount of time that had elapsed made her sure I was going to be ok. She had watched people die in Africa from this and shw said it happens So Fast it is tragic. I would not be able to organize a trip to Oregon to die. I would become incoherent and slip away within days.
That was what I needed. A timeframe. A legit explanation of what it looks like and how it happens. And why I don't fit. This whole time I had been wondering how to tell my friends. Whether I could write all their numbers down in case I couldnt function enough to call them or remember my phone password. I was planning on cleaning my apartment so good so the landlord couldn't bash me when I was bouncing off the walls and hissing at him. I was deciding who I really needed to contact and who I could live without wasting breath on. I was planning a goodbye party. I told all 3 of my lovers ("´hey, I have this thing there is no real test for while you're alive but there is once you die so you can't get tested, and you may have it so got get shot up but no one is sure if that will help much," but I did tell them and it was hilarious to them. My favorite response being "RIP" and "F") And this all had put me in such a dark place that, coupled with a few shitty days at work with my bully of a manager, I also asked for a psych person to visit me after the Rabies shot.
After her talk I was like, oh. Thank godddd. And kinda annoyed at having to wait an extra hour in the ER for a talk that could wait til morning. But I chatted with rhem and asked for referral to a shrink since this had just highlighted how much I need help with my anxiety. Especially since the temporary issue of Rabies was being resolved but my cruel manager was still going to exist now that I was going to survive this beef with nature. It was nice to think of that way "my rabies beef is getting cooked" and the pscyh lady got me help. So that was nice. I just mainly needed to get healthy again so I could
I mean. Almostbarelybutnotreally facing a cruel death was a great way to look at life and reflect on some things. There are messes I am not at fault for, messes I avoid that I shouldn't, people and things I value and the objects that matter to me more than others for ridiculous reasons. I was so grateful to the staff for putting up with me. And for you for reading.
All of this just to say
Circle circle dot dot
Soon I get my last Rabies Shot
#rabies#cdc#cdc protocol#vaccines#vaccination#vaxxed#immunoglobulin#rabies vaccine#shots#medicine#bats#stress#i thought i was dying#and then tumblr happened#rabiosexual#rabidloving#feralgender#rabioromantic
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cat got your tongue? (bob x naomi) -- frenchy
a/n: hello!! i dropped 2 fics and dipped, but hi again! i was looking through some requests for an idea on what people are wanting to read, and especially any ships people want, and i found a few requests for bob and specifically bob/naomi. i got BIG inspired because i love me a more rare pair AND i love them both so much, they are the cutest!! luv them. i was hesitant to share/write bc i’m not sure if many ship, but i decided to fully send it anyway. anyway enjoy!! <3
Bob buzzed with anticipation, bouncing on his heels as he stood in the airport terminal, hands clutching a thick cardboard poster and eyes on a search mission. He nudged his glasses up absentmindedly, trying his best to keep his sign visible among the dozens of reuniting families, tourists, and rolling suitcases. There was always something about airports that put Bob on the edge, whether it be the pressure of being on time for a flight or the fear of delays and being stuck wandering for hours – though neither gave reason for his current flurry of nerves, as he wasn’t here for a flight himself, but instead to pick up a friend. He had felt the building anxiety all morning, but lacked the ability to pinpoint why it had chosen to plague him today, and potentially sour what was intended to be a pleasant reunion.
With an impatient click of his tongue, Bob couldn’t even resume pondering his anxiety, since it was quickly replaced with annoyance. Figures Naomi had to take her sweet time coming off the plane. Bob could already picture her stopping to snap a picture against the window, imagining the way she’d caption it “hi, new york” for her Instagram story, or write something about it being “golden hour”. It was almost too vivid in his mind.
The (probably not) imaginary scenario he was in the works of fabricating was prematurely abandoned by the sight of a certain leggy supermodel in the distance. Immediately perking up, Bob tightened his grip on his sign, his face breaking out in a shining grin.
His face already began to cramp as he waited for Naomi to look up from her phone, presumably texting him to see where he was, where they could meet up. If only she’d glance up and see him, but no, she instead slowed down, phone coming to press against her ear. Bob wished he could make a moving walkway appear in front of her, something to glide her over so he could whack her with the sign he spent a half hour making.
He decided against grabbing the phone that vibrated in his pocket, instead staying put, hoping it wouldn’t be long before she noticed him. With the other passengers slowly dissolving from around him, it made it almost impossible for them not to see each other. Naomi finally took a good look around her, eyes meeting Bob’s and a smile following not long after.
Pocketing her phone, Naomi started towards Bob, but stopped midway with a squint of her eyes and her attention on Bob’s sign. “Oh my Godddd,” he heard her drawl in the that voice he missed hearing, a voice he’d be hearing on his TV for the next – hopefully - several weeks.
“There’s my All Star!” Bob spread out his arms, wrapping himself around his friend as soon as they were close enough, feeling accomplished in how he had achieved a Naomi Smalls eye roll within only seconds of their reunion.
“Bob, you’re totally making a scene,” Naomi groaned, but still lifted her arms in a reciprocation of his hug – only after first squirming under her dramatic friend’s stronghold.
She didn’t see the way Bob was fully cheesing until they had pulled apart, and the sight made her heart simultaneously melt and hurt. It wasn’t often that she saw Bob look so sincere and even less often that they even saw each other in person due to their schedules and events.
“I missed you, bitch! Can I miss my friends in public and cry like a little toddler without fear of judgement?” Bob moved to link arms with Naomi, which she didn’t fight him on.
“No.”
“And to think I was going to take you home with me,” Bob mimicked Naomi’s eye roll when she featured it a second time. “You like the sign, huh? Don’t even answer me, I know you do,” Bob shrugged proudly, like it was no big deal, the sign that read “THIS WAY TO THE DRAG RACE HALL OF FAME!” in bold print and tacky star decorations held limply from his right hand.
She nudged his shoulder with her own, their arms not breaking their link.
The teasing moment died when they both remarked each other’s fond smiles. “What?” Bob chuckled, nudging Naomi back as they walked away from the gates. He wondered if the blush on her cheeks was just the Universe playing tricks on him. A cruel trick that caused a blush of his own to spread, one he was hopeful she didn’t notice.
“I like it. And, like. Thanks for coming to pick me up. It’s been - oh my Gosh - stressful as hell. All Stars was something else, girl. Season Eight had nothing on the past few weeks,” Naomi sighed, focusing her eyes on the ground below them. The tiles of the airport floor. The way the lines moved underneath them. “And I’ve never been happier to be in New York, even if just for a few days.”
“Well, you’ll have to tell me everything. Spare no details, or else. You already know that I’ll find out through Monét if you lie about how bad you did in all the challenges–”
“Oh my God, you’re ridiculous,” Naomi pushed him away with a laugh. She led the way towards the baggage claim, Bob following closely behind her, laughing heartily at his own joke.
+++
“Like, the Henny. Stacy Layne Motherfuckin’ Matthews, Bob. It was crazy. I was starstruck, honestly,” Naomi laughed, one leg crossed under her and the other hanging off the edge of the sofa. They were settled in Bob’s living room, avoiding the film equipment and lighting setup in the corner that was used for his podcast with Monét. Naomi scrolled through her phone as Bob watched her, mug in his hands and affectionate smile on his face.
“I’m so happy for you, and super jealous. I might have to start a real girl group with Stacy. So, this means you didn’t go home first, right?” Bob segued, more serious. He could tell Naomi wasn’t keen on talking about it immediately, but he was dying to know. “You don’t have to tell me everything, but I’d rather be prepared for when I see it on TV.”
“I know, Bob. And you know that I’m not supposed to say anything–”
“Stacy Layne Matthews?”
“That’s different.”
Bob sighed, but he knew she had no obligation to spill. He’d just have to wait like everyone else. “Okay. Okay, yeah, that’s fine. Don’t tell me about how you won All Stars 4, I’ll just have to see it for myself.”
“Bob,” Naomi warned, shaking her head with a sad smile. “I trust you. I didn’t,” she shrugged half-heartedly.
“Didn’t what?”
“Win. I didn’t win,” Naomi pouted dramatically, but Bob could see the real sadness in her eyes, beyond her trying to act dramatic to put him off. “I won a lip sync. I made the top four. I don’t know who won yet, but I didn’t. So.”
“Top four! Oh my God, Naomi,” Bob isolated the good news he heard, and placed his mug off to the side in order to give her a congratulatory hug. “Fuck the crown, or whatever. That’s still a big deal. Farther than I thought you’d make it, if we’re bein’ honest,” Bob added in a deadpan, the laugh threatening to break his act.
But Naomi didn’t laugh like she normally would, still facing Bob on the sofa but her eyes were downcast.
“Hey,” Bob scooted forward, placing a hand on Naomi’s shoulder comfortingly. “I know you wanted it. But you should still be proud of yourself.”
Naomi nodded, her phone long abandoned in order to preoccupy herself with the hem of her shirt. “Yeah. I was just, like, so close. It still sucks.”
She looked up, and she could’ve sworn they weren’t sharing each other’s space so closely before. Something in her jumped, flipping the switch to send her heartbeat into its maximum speed setting. When did Bob get so close? Why wasn’t he giving her a consoling hug and scooting back away?
“Um,” she muttered, barely audible between them. If Bob had just leaned back away, she wouldn’t have made the mistake of glancing down towards his lips. She wouldn’t have looked back up, hopeful to meet his eyes, but instead catch him doing the same. She wouldn’t have had the chance to kiss him back when he finally closed the distance between them.
Naomi had thought about kissing Bob before. She imagined it for the first time during the filming for season eight, after they had properly met. After being in a competition with him for a few weeks. After joking around with each other in the “Shade Tree” room, in front of the camera, Naomi on Bob’s lap. After hugging each other and saying they loved each other, solidifying their new friendship, Naomi still wishing she could beat Bob but knowing she never would.
Bob had thought about kissing Naomi before, many times. After being friends for two years. After all the times they visited each other’s shows, or hung out with fellow queens and gravitated towards each other in the larger groups. After Naomi came to watch Bob in ‘Angels in America’, or spent time at his house watching Pose, or was a guest on his podcast. After Naomi was away for weeks and didn’t win All Stars 4.
Neither of them were ready for how it really was, in the small living room, on Bob’s sofa.
Whether this was just Bob cheering her up or not, Naomi took the opportunity to kiss him back without giving it much thought or question. It was timid, and a little shy, but Bob felt like he was growing wings from the kiss alone.
“You just kissed me,” Naomi whispered after they had parted, like they weren’t the only two people in the room, like someone could have heard or seen. She blinked at him, eyes adjusting, her blank expression not giving Bob much to work with in terms of reading her. She peered into him, not with perplexity or shock, but with a subtle awe. Her lips were still puckered, as if anticipating a second kiss. He battled with the idea of answering her, and the idea of leaning back in again. The only option he didn’t have was leaning too far away – a rope threatening to sever them both in half if he so much as considered it. And he didn’t. He couldn’t trade away the comfort and familiarity he felt pressed so close to her, even if he had just risked ruining that with a single kiss.
“Yeah,” Bob nodded slowly, his ordinarily bold self gone within moments, rendering the older queen speechless. Stomach doing somersaults, voice quivering. All unusual for someone so typically assertive. “I’m… I don’t know,” He answered, riddled with uncertainty. His answer reflected his feelings on both what he did, why he did it, and what her reaction was. He didn’t know anything in those few seconds. Or were they minutes? He was going mad in an attempt to gauge her reaction. She had kissed back, but that didn’t reassure or satisfy his conscience; instinct and feelings lacked synonymity in moments like this. Naomi not making an effort to push him away or gasp in disgust didn’t mean she shared his long-lasting feelings.
He could easily pass this off as a joke, right? It wouldn’t be off-brand for Bob, to fuck around and maybe go too far with a joke, a kiss that he could easily claim meant nothing but a friendly pass. Could save him from the inevitable rejection.
Except that claiming the kiss as a joke wouldn’t warrant how tense the moment they shared now was, the moment after the kiss. A friendly peck was one thing – the tenderness and earnestness in that kiss was reasonable cause to ax the idea of saying that it wasn’t a big deal. That this wasn’t really happening.
Naomi narrowed her eyes, worrying her bottom lip. “Why sorry?” Bob wondered if the smile he heard in her voice was authentic or all in his head. He risked a peek at her lips, a single corner slyly inching upwards. Was she fucking with him, like he had debated doing?
His anxiety was relieved by Naomi raising a hand, her fingers barely ghosting along his jaw, slower than either of them would have liked.
Bob held his breath.
“I don’t want you to be sorry,” she continued after a beat, making Bob realize that he never answered her. “What’s wrong, Bob?” Naomi pouted innocently; Bob noted how her eyes harbored mischievousness, still. “Cat got your tongue all of a sudden?”
“No, uh,” Bob cleared his throat with a shake to his head, desperate to not let this die at the account of suddenly becoming a deer caught in headlights. “I thought – I didn’t want to, like. I didn’t mean for it to be –”
“Bob.”
“You can totally ignore me for at least a week –”
“Bob,” Naomi raised her voice, effectively overpowering Bob, who was oblivious to how fast he had been rambling. “For the love of God. Stop talking. For, like, once in your life?” If anyone else had said this, Bob would have jumped straight into defense mode, but the fond look in Naomi’s eyes and the humor in her tone prevented that. “You were doing so well.”
She was fucking with him. This wasn’t about Bob, or any kind of reciprocation – she went almost 5 weeks with no attention. He didn’t want to hear her admit it.
“– I’m just fucking with you,” Bob screwed his eyes shut in an extreme wince after hearing the words come out of his own mouth.
“What?” He couldn’t deny the sudden and genuine confusion in her voice this time. “What do you mean?”
“I’m, uh,” Bob laughed unnaturally, pushing it into the empty space between them. “It’s just a joke, girl. Testing out my acting chops for my next audition.” Bob played along with the wicked, brutal joke he just turned his admission of feelings into. He could deal with Naomi’s frustration with a prank more than he could handle her laughing in his face if she knew what that kiss really meant.
“Um,” Naomi was the one at a loss for words this time, “oh. Wait, like – what? You’re serious?” She looked at him weirdly, seemingly unconvinced. And, God, how could she be? She waited a moment, her weird look urging Bob to take back what he said – but he didn’t. “Okay,” she nodded curtly, pulling away from the comfort of sharing Bob’s personal space – the rope that tethered them together was left frayed, laying on the floor before Bob, as she made a beeline for the door.
“Where are you going?” Bob watched her in panic, the somersaults in his stomach bouncing at record speed, wondering how his plan to save the situation only made it worse. And more anxiety inducing. Why wasn’t she laughing? Swatting at him and rolling her eyes in the way that she does when he playfully insults her makeup or makes fun of her for being younger than some of the shoes in his closet? “Naomi, girl,” Bob ignored his own aside, following her and stopping only a few feet away as she struggled to slip on her shoes. “It wasn’t that deep. I’m sorry. If it was weird. You were upset, I thought it’d distract you, or make you laugh. I was waiting for you to shove me away and laugh, or call me gross, or… I don’t know.”
With a heavy sigh, Naomi looked over her own shoulder. “No, yeah, I know. It sure made me forget all about losing All Stars. Ha ha. It was funny, see? You’ll kill your audition. I just forgot that I have to grab lunch with, uh, with Kim.”
“It’s six o’clock.”
“Kim slept late.”
“She’s not even in New York. Naomi, come on,” Bob reached out, laying a hand gently on her shoulder. Ignoring how his heart stung when she recoiled. “You’re mad.”
“Yeah, I am,” Naomi wasted no time arguing, turning her head back around and fumbling with the lock on the door. She was fixed on leaving.
“Can you just turn around, like, for a second?” Bob grew impatient, knowing he couldn’t let her walk out. “Please?”
He had a hand on his hip when he heard the fumbling stop, and when Naomi slowly turned around to face him. He opened his mouth to speak, but Naomi beat him to it. Her throat was reddening, rising from below her collared shirt and up towards her face.
“It was a joke? It was really something to distract me? You thought it’d make me laugh?” Her voice was taut, forced. Bob knew she was holding back. Whether it was a sob or a string of insults, he wasn’t sure.
Bob hadn’t expected the sudden confrontation when she had been so intent on leaving, and scoffed in offense. He laughed incredulously, glancing around as if there was someone else or perhaps a camera in the room. He couldn’t look at her, not for more than a few seconds at a time. “It was a joke, I just told you that.”
“Bob, stop,” Naomi groaned in frustration, and if Bob would have blinked, he could’ve missed the glassy look in her eyes, the threat of tears. “Even I know you don’t make jokes like that. That was low, and the weirdest timing for something like that. It didn’t feel like a joke. And it wasn’t funny, not really.”
“I’m-” Bob looked back up at her, eyes wide. “Naomi, girl, whoa-”
“I’ve been waiting for you to do that since we filmed. Filmed our season,” Naomi’s arms were crossed, her eyes watering. “That’s, like, two years, Bob.” She bowed her head, in a way that would have hid her face had she been wearing a wig.
Bob stood wide eyed, frozen. His eyes didn’t blink for at least 30 seconds. “Naomi, I…” He didn’t know what to say, searching for the right words to fix this quicker than he managed to ruin it. “Really?”
“Yeah. Yeah, really.”
“You never said anything.”
Naomi laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I never said anything because I was afraid you’d do what you just did. That you’d make it all into a joke. Think that I’m a joke,” she placed a hand on the doorknob behind her, the confidence that fueled her confrontation faltering.
“Wait, don’t. Please stay. I chose the worst way to do this,” Bob stepped forward, eyes pleading. “You can hate me, unfollow me even, but I can’t let you leave thinking I meant any of that. I don’t even have an audition booked,” he admitted softly, but didn’t expect her to believe him. He wasn’t really proving to be the most trustworthy person. He really thought he did something, huh? Beyond fucking up both their years of friendship and something that could have gone beyond? “I… Like you? More than a friend, or another sister, or whatever. Genuinely like you. I just happen to be a huge fucking idiot and did something about it before coming to terms with the fact that you don’t feel that way. Thought I could cover it up, but I had to kiss you at least once. I didn’t really expect you to kiss me back, so I guess… I guess I panicked?“
“You panicked because I kissed you back? Oh my God, that is so backwards, Bob. You’re so… You’re such an idiot. I say it all the time, but I’m serious,” Naomi raised her eyebrows in disbelief, accompanying it with a shake of her head.
They stared at each other for a moment, regarding the other, and also this whole fucked up situation. The misunderstanding and how stupid the both of them were, how neither knew how to communicate.
“We’re both idiots,” Naomi continued, a smile growing. Bob couldn’t help but match it.
“You can say that again. So, uh. Can I kiss you again and not ruin it this time?”
“Please.”
Bob stepped forward, arm reaching for Naomi’s waist to pull her close, their lips meeting again in a kiss Bob definitely preferred to the first one.
She instinctively brought both hands up to the side of Bob’s head, pulling him closer and making the timidity of their kiss obsolete. Making a surprised noise, Bob gave way to let Naomi take control of the kiss, his head spinning. She felt him wrap his arms fully around her waist, both of them trying to close the distance that didn’t even exist between them anymore.
“Wait,” Naomi pulled away, taking a large breath. “Can I just say. I’m really glad you were joking about that audition, because you definitely would not have gotten the part. Your acting has gotten much worse. Really unconvincing, Bob.”
“You’re such a bitch,” he smiled lazily back at her, positive that she could sense the relief that flowed from him as his shoulders visibly relaxed. Their laughs mingled and died together as they started for another kiss, Bob stopped right before his lips met Naomi’s. “Can I just say, you’re a winner. Too good for All Stars, honestly. To me, you didn’t lose,” he laid a hand on her neck, sliding toward the back of her head. He leaned into her side, mouth nearly meeting where her jaw and ear met. “Twice,” Bob added in a mock-seductive whisper, exuding an instinctively hearty laugh and gentle shove from Naomi.
“I hate you,” she laughed sarcastically, shaking her head at the sheer ridiculousness he insisted upon even during such a tender moment. “Aaaaand you just killed the mood.” Naomi gave a sigh of disapproval, but Bob could tell she held no authentic contempt.
“Yeah? Well I just thought of something that might make this,” he gestured between them, raising his brow, “a little complicated.”
Naomi narrowed her eyes, puzzled, but had to smile weakly at his acknowledgement toward whatever they were, with or without labeling it. “Go on.”
“I think Monét’s gonna take it personally when she finds out I’m not rooting for her to win All Stars,” Bob admitted, eliciting a laugh from the both of them, Naomi throwing her head back. She swatted at him playfully after catching her breath.
“Bob, you already know I’m not going to win. That was, like, what started this,” Naomi enunciated her words slowly, making it clear that she was stating the obvious. “I know you’re older than me, but girl, is your memory already going down the toilet?”
“Pfft, you wish, crazy bitch,” Bob sneered, endearment flashing in his smile and humor in his voice. “I know you won’t. Your fans knew you had no chance of winning season eight but did that stop them? Not that there were many of them,” they gasped in unison, Naomi in offense and Bob mocking her on cue. “Don’t mean I won’t be the biggest, most obnoxious Naomi Smalls advocate in the bar – nay, on the street.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Naomi matched his affectionate look, exposing her sarcasm. She wrapped her long arms around his shoulders, effectively pulling him back from when she had shoved him away, leaning their foreheads together.
“Ridiculous? Maybe. But a winner? Absolutely,” Bob emphasized the final word, his beam matched Naomi’s as they leaned into another kiss, “And I’m not talking about Drag Race this time.”
#rpdr fanfiction#bob the drag queen#naomi smalls#bob x naomi#fluff#angst#hurt/comfort#a little bit of it anyway#frenchy#and i oop#rare pair#writing this fully made me ship#canon compliant#s8#on set fic#submission
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