#baby just wants to play

Hiii everyone I am here with another enemies to lovers fic because apparently I never know when to give up! Behold… a 90k slow burn where Dean is a hunter and Cas is the sin-eating demon he accidentally binds his soul to, so now Dean has to deal with things like the passenger deciding what music to listen to (Taylor Swift), unceasing threats of vehicular harm, and a disturbingly high propensity for arson and knives.

In The Flesh? (E, 90k)

Blue Eyes tilts his head. A predatory smile twists his lips.

Dean squirms beneath his gaze. “What? Does it look like I know your name, demon-priest?”

“Mm. Names have a lot of power, you know.”

“God, why did I have to get stuck with the most pretentious demon that’s ever-”

“Mine is Castiel.”

And, oh, Dean doesn’t hesitate before wrapping his tongue around it.

“Castiel.” He likes it. Please, God help him, he likes it.

“Is there an echo?”

Jesus Christ.

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It’s missing my wife hours 😔 @tearsofgrace whyd you have to leaveeee

Blease what are these anons talking about when they say TOG all I can think of is that tearsofgrace guy on youtube who makes fun of his own baldness and plays the binding of isaac im confused help

--

The Old Guard.

ANONYMOUS ASKED: Favorite Member of TFW | CASTIEL

Misha not giving a fudge about restrictions is my new kink (x)

dean and cas successfully taking down a pack of ghouls on a hunt and dean is so pumped up on adrenaline and excitement and damn cas looked so good with a blade in his hand and his shirt ruffled from the fight that dean turns around, grabs cas by the trenchcoat, and pulls him into a breathtaking kiss. the kiss is so electrying and so damn good that it leaves dean feeling weak in the knees as cas tangles his hands into dean's hair to deepen the kisses and god they just keep kissing and neither of them can stop. it isn't until dean has broken the kiss several heart pounding minutes later and walked over to the Impala and gotten into the driver's seat that he's hit with the realization. he doubles over the steering wheel as the air is knocked from his lungs. he and cas don't kiss after successful hunts... oh god, they've never kissed before. dean just kissed cas for the very first time. and cas is still standing twenty feet away looking dazed with his fingers resting against his lips and a smile so radiant that dean feels his heart racing in his chest. they don't kiss after successful hunts... but now, maybe they should.

— The Carnivorous Lamb, Agustín Gómez-Arcos, tr. William Rodarmor

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Shatter Pattern

Wrote a thing because things rattle around in my brain and I have to get them out. Read below or on Archive

Dean tried to let himself relax into Cas’ arms. He wanted to relax. But it felt impossible. He was stiff; tense. His body rejected the feeling of security Cas’ arms radiated. And he had to sit up, out of Cas’ orbit, his heart thudding in his chest. He wanted to tell Cas: yes, please hold me, keep me safe, kiss parts of me when I won’t notice. I want to fall into you, become part of you, drown in your presence and suck air from your skin. But his body coursed with nothing but its own betrayal because he could never let himself fall like that. How do you go from being the one who does the holding to being the one who’s held. Dean wasn’t used to being held. 

Dean hadn’t been held since he was four. The comfort and safety of his mother’s arms felt more like a dream, made up to help him cope with harsh realities, than an actual memory. He didn’t know why he was broken into pieces that didn’t match in their shatter pattern. There was no gluing back together parts of himself that didn’t fit or that he didn’t have because they were scattered under porcelain bowls in nameless bars, and wedged into stained motel beds; eaten by miles of black roadtops, and left behind in the dumpsters of small diners. Somewhere along the cross-country roadtrip of his life, he lost the part of himself that could sink into the safety of another person's arms.

It didn’t matter that he wanted it back, that he craved it so desperately he ached for it. That he cried out in the night begging to allow himself to agree to be loved. He could see the boy who’d gotten to grow up with that missing piece. He could see him standing on the other side of a chasm, laughing as he ran into his mother’s arms, growing up to marry someone he could let crowd into his space, wrap him in something that didn’t remind him of torment; that didn’t make him feel like he was suffocating. 

“Dean?” Cas asked softly, and his concern punctured a hole in his chest, letting the floodgates loose. 

“I’m sorry,” he cried. 

Cas’ hand was large and warm on his back and Dean wished he could sink into it. “For what?”

“I don’t know how to do this,” he sniffed. “How to let you in. I’m not- I’m not good at it. I’ve never been good at it.” 

“I know,” Cas said, and he kissed the top of Dean’s head, which only made him cry harder. “Shh, I know. It’s okay.” 

Cas rocked him so gently, pressed his lips to his hair, hummed something in Enochian that vibrated through Cas’ chest and into Dean’s back, pushing through him like a shockwave. His chest stopped constricting and his eyes fluttered shut on the last of his tears as Cas enveloped him in his grace. It was overwhelming, striking like a bolt of lightning through a cloudless sky, but suddenly he could breathe. 

“I’ve got you,” Cas soothed. “I’m here. I love you.” 

Dean let Cas’ words carry him forward. He stepped onto glass, blood blooming across the soles of his feet; walked down muddy roads where he had to pull himself free with each step, the squelch of wet matter trying to suck him back down; scratched himself on thorns that tried their damndest to embed themselves into the furthest reaches of his skin; and finally, he stepped over the edge of that chasm and heaved himself up the other side, panting and shaking beside that little boy he could of been. 

The boy smiled at him, freckles so prominent in the sunlight, and he took Dean’s hand and guided him to the last part of his journey, where he could let himself sink into Cas’ arms, fall under the calming waves, and breathe in the oxygen his lungs had been missing. 

tag list, ask to be added or removed

@undeadcas @tearsofgrace @hellerstiel @casgetoutofmyass0907 @wantstoflyafraidtofall @gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat @thepixelagora@thelahatiel  @im-sam-fucking-winchester@piebook67 @bestiarum@theedeangirl@november5th@bixlasagna@ancient-fangirl@famouspsychicpizzabandit@you-cant-spell-subtext-without@bumbledumble1@cascigarette@addicted2demons @our-stars-graveside @fivefeetfangirl

CASTIEL [Season 4 // Season 15]

So apparently I’m the top in the relationship because I’ve been handed the check at TWO restaurants and at one @tearsofgrace clearly had the check in front of her and the waitress CONSCIOUSLY handed the card back TO ME

dean and cas being cute and making me insane 1/?