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#unrelated shit
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Finally changed my icon from Marceline and it's...Marshall, the male human version of Marceline. Lol. Lmao even.
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inkskinned · 10 months
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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turtletoads · 23 days
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5 card combo that autowins any duel vs guy who was dropped on his head as a baby
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hazel2468 · 7 months
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"UWU op defends Israel UWU"-
Have I not made it clear enough what I think of the Israeli government? Have I not made it clear enough that what infuriates me the MOST about all of this shit going on is that neither government gives a damn and civilians will CONTINUE to die because Hamas and Netanyahu are cranking that war machine for their own benefit? Have I not made it clear that I think what the Israeli government is doing is fucking horrific, a war crime, murder, a violation of human rights?
Why do I even need to MAKE that clear? Why is it that you can talk about LITERALLY anything else, any other country, and people don't rush to fucking accuse you of personally supporting the government when you discuss the wrongs committed against a people, but the SECOND you're a Jew you have to justify your stance about Israel?
Why is it that I cannot even be angry about the slaughter of MY FUCKING PEOPLE. Innocents. Civilians. Fucking CHILDREN. The slaughter of the Palestinian people. Innocents. Civilians. FUCKING CHILDREN.
Without one of you absolute fucking monsters deciding to slap some shit on an unrelated post about how "uwu op defends an apartheid state just ignore that"? Do you have to make it part of EVERYTHING I do? Do you consider everything I put out there tainted somehow because I don't support your joy, your cheering, your unrestrained GLEE at the murder of Jews? Do I need to publish a fucking thesis on my stance on Israel, Palestine, and their respective governments like a fucking disclaimer any time I want to talk about myself, my oppression, my experience as a Jew, or a disabled person, or a queer person, because you fuckers cannot for five seconds be NORMAL about Jews?
To decide to slap something about Israel and Palestine on a post I made about MY oppression, about how people will oppress you no matter who you actually are- it all depends who they think you are. It's a bit ironic, isn't it? Doesn't QUITE fit, but it's funny that someone would read that post, agree with it, and then think "Ah yes, THIS is the place to put some tags about how OP, a Jew who has been reeling for the last couple of weeks about the violence, who has been checking on their Israeli friends every day to make sure they aren't fucking dead, who is dealing with vicious antisemitism from people who they thought were friends, who watched as the people claiming to be progressive supporters of human rights on this hellsite and others OVERWHELMINGLY reply to the murder of their people with good they deserved it fuck you, is CLEARLY a defender of an apartheid state and that makes them a bad person because something something I don't know what nuance tastes like and I am a bigoted ass."
I am TIRED.
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maepop · 5 months
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my survivor group is begging me to kill my wife i dont CARE if she got infected by a zombie im not DOING IT
realized i have to post zombie apocalypse AU docdora right now because that would mean i would have started 2023 with docdora and ended 2023 with docdora
🎵
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whatbigotspost · 7 months
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Today (11/1/23) in US labor organizing
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dizzybizz · 1 year
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"looks like i win! take that!"
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chemblrish · 2 months
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11 March 2024
I was surprised that my solutions didn't crystallize over the past week to which my thesis supervisor said lightheartedly that it's normal and that he once waited for something to crystallize for THREE YEARS. I hope my solutions know I need to graduate some day.
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chocoenvy · 2 years
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ok but like
imagine a sagau au where the reader isn't recognized by the acolytes
but they aren't being hunted down by them either
and in this au looking like the creator isn't a sin it just warrants a "damn must be truly blessed by the creator to be blessed with their face"
and the reader just kinda wants to see how long it takes for everyone to realize
also venti is the first to know and the reader literally begs him not to tell anyone
and they both just kinda
vibe as gods in disguise
Say My Name
In where you begin your journey in a fairly dull way, but that doesn't make it any less exciting.
Part two
Characters: Barbara, Noelle, Venti
Notes: Once again, I have made Venti a prominent character in a fic. I have grown far too attatched to him :( AND I WANTED TO MAKE THIS MORE ABOUT NOELLE BUT I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM BECAUSE VENTI'S FAT ASS TOOK UP ALL OF IT. And I didn't want to shove something in at the end, I thought it was a good stopping point so I didn't stretch the fic on longer than it needed to go. Anyways this was fun to write either way :)
warnings: fluff, cult behaviors, comical
Considering how extravagant and lively Teyvat is, your arrival was fairly dull.
You were freaking out of course, your heart beating out of your chest and breathing erratic. What were you supposed to do when you wake up in your favorite game? What was the right course of action?
Frankly, you thought you were dead or about to die. Teyvat is crawling with high level monsters. Maybe this was all a big fever dream?
You sighed, clutching your head, so many thoughts whirling around and yet none of them stayed long enough for you to get a good grasp of the situation or the best course of action.
But one thought remained consistent as your eyes drifted over to the path laid out before you. Mondstadt.
The moment you lay your eyes on the bridge leading to the Mondstadt gates you can't help yourself, running past Timmie's birds, shouting out a quick sorry to him, and sprinting as fast as you could to the gates. You slowed as you neared them and Lawrence - the gate guard - stopped you in your tracks.
"Greetings strange but respectable traveler!" He saluted, his eyes wide staring at you and you assumed it's because of the odd way you dressed, "May I ask what business you have in Mondstadt?"
"Oh! Just visiting." You grinned, feeling a tad bit dizzy at hearing his voice right in front of you and not just through your headphones. Not to mention the fact that his hair looked so real and nice.
He hummed and nodded, "Alright then, just don't cause any trouble." He waved you off.
That was easy... you mused. Though you didn't dwell on it and marveled at the wonderous city adorned with the high-noon sun and pretty flowers.
You could hear the humming of bards and birds, the sound of Flora selling her flowers, and of course Donna simping over Diluc.
It was all so familiar, from the people to the music and the tiles on the floor, it all felt like the beginning of your journey. Almost like home, you couldn't help but hum along to the merry music.
You passed by Katheryne and she waved at you knowingly but didn't say anything. You decided not to question her about it - Katheryne knew a lot of things anyways so you decided this was pretty in-character for her - and you waved back with a grin.
You wandered meaninglessly through the calming streets, still humming the tune. You came upon the fountain in the plaza and paused. Usually, you'd climb up the wall to get past but now you had to actually walk.
You chuckled, you weren't sure why but this was such a nice feeling and you sprinted to the left until you came upon a set of stairs. You climbed up them and made your way to Venti's large statue.
When you made it, you craned your neck up to take it all in, an awed smile on your face.
"Ah, are you a newcomer?" A nearby nun asked you, snapping you out of your dazed state.
"Oh! Uh- yeah I am!" You grinned sheepishly.
The nun hummed, smiling warmly, "You must be truly blessed to look so similar to our creator. You can go into the cathedral if you want to see our offerings to them." She nodded towards said building, "Hope you enjoy your stay in Mondstadt!" She waved, now even allowing you to get a word out before moving along.
You stared after her for a minute before whispering to yourself, "What the fuck-"
You turned back around and stared cautiously at the cathedral. What did she mean by creator? Stuff like this has never been mentioned in the lore before...
You'd been in the cathedral maybe a hundred times and had never seen anything that could be attributed to some... creator or whatever she meant by that.
So, naturally, you had to go and investigate.
The moment you entered those cathedral doors (with no loading screen separating the two anymore), your eyes immediately caught onto the shrine built on top of the rotating door. Two pairs of stairs leading up to it.
You gaped at the shrine, grand and well-kept, but what caught even more of your attention was the sheer amount of offerings left out at the base below the shrine. There was so much food and random shiny objects, some of which looked more than what you were worth.
Your jaw hang open at the sight, and you noticed you started to get some odd stares. You fixed your face and donned a more neutral expression, looking on at the shrine curiously.
"Ah, first time in Mondstadt's cathedral?" said a soft and familiar voice.
You whipped your head around to face Barbara, her sparkling eyes fixed onto you.
You composed yourself - both at the scene in front of you and the fact you just met Barbara face-to-face - "Yeah, it is."
"You look so much like our beloved creator!" She exclaimed, "It must be such an honor to be blessed with their lovely face!"
"U-uhm..." You stuttered, sending her an awkward smile, "I suppose so."
Her eyes shifted and you felt a jolt of unease in your chest, sinking into your heart, "Sorry, I'm just not used to Mondstadt's customs. We practice things quite differently where I'm from."
"Oh! Sorry then," Barbara frowned, "I didn't mean any disrespect, I just wanted to make sure you weren't disrespecting our creator in any ways. I suppose in the end it didn't do any good."
You hummed non-committedly and gazed back upon the shrine. There was a statue of the supposed creator upon there and unconsciously you took steps towards it. As you gazed up at it, it was as though you were looking into a mirror.
The statue was an exact replica of you, in every way shape and form it was you.
"It truly is remarkable how alike you two are," Barbara smiled up at the statue, pure devotion in her eyes, "It was an honor to look upon you and see an image that so wonderously reflects our creator's." She smiled at you.
You nodded and she left with a wave. A few moments later you left the church.
*~
The problems in this perfect world arose when your stomach started to growl and you realized...
You had no mora.
"Goddamnit I'm having a Zhongli moment," You cursed the gods (specifically Venti and Zhongli) for not giving you mora when you arrived to Teyvat.
Although you didn't have to worry about that for long, oddly enough. When you were eyeing Good Hunters, a kind little lady approached you.
"E-excuse me," Her cute voice cracked and your eyes met with Noelle's, "Are you hungry? I could um-" Her eyes diverted away from yours but always seemed to come back to stare into your eyes, "I could make you something if you so wish."
You gasped, your face lighting up in a smile that reddened Noelle's cheeks, "Really? Oh! I'd love to try some of your Tea Break Pancakes- oh! Ah, nevermind. You don't have to." You waved her offer off, "I don't even have any mora on me."
"That's fine." She grinned, "Consider it... a gift to our creator. A celebration of how much you look like them."
"Ah," You couldn't help the surprised smile that tugged up at the corners of your lips, "That's- I mean I appreciate it but I'm sure there's much better uses you could use with your time-"
"Nonsense! I insist," Her resolve was as sturdy as the sword you'd given her, "A little treat of mine."
"I-" Your stomach interrupted any argument you were going to make, "Fine..." You sighed, "But I owe you okay? If you ever need anything just ask me."
She agreed and made you the meal, which you excitedly watched her make. It was so surreal watching Noelle make the pancakes instead of just pressing a couple buttons.
Even still she made those pancakes in record time, you were impressed.
"Thank you so much Noelle! Really, you're carrying Mondstadt on your shoulders." You giggled.
Her face flushed a bright red and she waved her hands dismissively, "Oh no no no, I don't do that much. I'm... not even a knight yet." She frowned.
"Well," You said in-between bites, "You do as much if not more than the knights do. Don't put yourself down just 'cause you're not official yet."
Your smile, a replica of the ones on the statue but brighter and more personal caused Noelle to feel nearly dizzy.
"You're far too kind... Oh! Dear, where are my manners?" She huffed, "What's your name?"
"Oh! It's (Name)." You held out your hand but she didn't take it immediately.
She tilted her head, her eyes narrowed in confusion, "Isn't that... the creator's name? Did your parents name you that?"
Your mind blanked. Why the hell does this creator person have my face and my name?
You chuckled, "They did."
Noelle hummed and nodded along, "It's a bit unusual but not like it's against the law or anything," She shrugged and took your hand, "It's nice to meet you (name). I'm Noelle, though it seems you already knew that..?"
You nodded, "Yeah, I've heard of you. You're the best maid in Mondstadt. Who knows, maybe the best maid in all of Teyvat." You chuckled as her face bloomed into color once more.
"Truly, you flatter me too much," She fanned her face in an attempt to get rid of the heat, "...have you really heard of me outside of Mondstadt."
Without hesitation, you nodded while biting into the pancake, "Of course!" You technically weren't lying. You'd heard of her outside of Mondstadt... and outside of Teyvat... in your world. So it was technically true.
She covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes lit up in wonder, and a soft giggle escaped her throat, "Aha, I'm so happy..."
Without thinking, you reached over and patted her head. She had stars in her eyes. "I'm glad," You said, "You deserve it."
*~
You and Noelle had talked throughout the entire day. She had often went to go and help people and you tried your best to help her as well. Finding stray cats, helping children find lost items or getting them down from high places, collecting and delivering items for people.
You did your best to nudge Noelle away from accepting every little thing that came her way, but majority of the time she'd end up helping the person. So you settled for helping lessen her load by helping her complete the tasks instead.
When night time finally rolled around Noelle finally bid you good night and you were hesitant to leave her because...
You had nowhere to stay.
The dark Mondstadt streets, only lit up by the few streetlights still lit by candles and night owls still awake inside their houses creeped you out.
Where would you stay? You couldn't stay outside for too long, it was freezing and you only had the clothes on your back.
Maybe you could sneak into Angel's Share and sleep in the rafters? That way you'd stay warm and they were open 24/7 you believed.
Maybe you should just tell someone you got transported here from another world. That's what the Traveler did and now they're a renowned hero with a teapot to live in...
Teapot... Teapot! If you could find the Teapot...
"Shit! Where did I last set it down..." You scrounged through your memory, praying it wasn't in the inventory. You had no clue how to access that or if you even could access it.
You recalled... teleporting to Windrise to grab some crystalflies and heal up... and opening up your teapot. That's where it is then. Or at least you hoped.
Even if it wasn't there, sleeping in the big Windrise tree didn't sound like a bad idea. So long as you didn't freeze to death.
With that in mind you set out to begin your walk to Windrise, sending a wave to Katheryne as you left. She wished you good luck which made your heart swell. Her eyes always seemed to know too much... but in this case it was quite comforting.
You also waved goodbye to the guards outside Mondstadt's gate, and they saluted with kind smiles.
You hummed, tiredly making your way across the bridge once more. What a lovely day in Mondstadt, you mused to yourself, humming the quiet nighttime tune.
*~
Your legs were jelly by the time you made it to Windrise, silently thanking the gods that you weren't attacked on the way there. Tiredly, you looked around the statue and the tree for any sign of your teapot and...
nothing. Absolutely nothing.
With a groan, you sat down at the base of the statue, burying your head in your hands, too tired to hold your head up on your own.
You just needed to shut your eyes for a moment...
*~
You blinked your eyes open as the sun glared at you. Squinting up, you noticed you were now laying at the base of the statue.
You paused as a melody filled your ears, close by and unfamiliar. You turned your head to see a bard - your bard - playing the lyre and humming a tune.
"Ah, you're finally awake." He grinned, "What were you doing sleeping outside by the statue?"
You groggily sat up, "Venti?" You groaned, "I was just... traveling and ended up falling asleep."
He hummed, "You know my name?"
Goddamnit-
You nodded, "Yes, you're quite the famous bard aren't you?" The excuse flew naturally off your tongue, it wasn't necessarily a lie either.
Venti giggled, his fingers idly plucking a tune, "Quite the charmer aren't you? Though, can't say you're entirely incorrect. I am the best bard in the world! Most famous though? I can't really say." He leaned in, his face nearly touching yours, "So, how do you know me hm? You just arrived to Mondstadt yesterday after all and I don't believe you ever caught my name or even saw me."
"...You were watching me?" You questioned, your eyes narrowed.
Venti faked an offended gasp, "You make me sound like a criminal! I was merely observing my surroundings. I saw you, an odd looking traveler, and had to observe you for a bit of time. Can't blame me for being a little curious." His grin was sly and it made you roll your eyes.
"Still a bit creepy if you ask me, especially for an apparently not-so-famous bard." You challenged him, your eyes sharp as they dug into him.
He shrugged, "I gotta watch over Mondstadt. I love the city with my life, you know. Now answer the question, how do you know me?" His eyes were so playful for such a scathing question.
You hummed, surprisingly calm given how wrong this could go, "How do you think I know you, bard?"
He giggled, "Asking me the questions now are you?" His fingers switched up and started playing a much more familiar tune. One he shouldn't know, "Perhaps you've been watching me for a long time now. And whenever I saw your eyes I just knew they were the same ones that had been watching me for countless months. Hm?"
Your eyes shot open, "How do you know that song?"
"I know every song," His teal eyes sparkled with mischief and glee, "Past present and future."
Your jaw slackened, but you couldn't help the grin that tugged at your lips.
"I suppose I wasn't aware of just how far your knowledge reached, O' Anemo Archon." You snickered, and jokingly bowed.
Venti giggled, his fingers stopping his playing so he could mockingly bow back, "And I suppose I wasn't aware of how stubborn you are, O' Great Creator."
"What?" Your playful nature halted in its tracks as you stared at Venti, dumbfounded.
He blinked, confused, "Huh?"
You shook your disbelief away with a shake of your head and a laugh, "Did you just call me Teyvat's God?" You chuckled, "Then should I call you your friend's name?"
A flash of hurt took over his eyes, he whined, "Huh? What do they have to do with this, your grace?"
"What?" Dread crawled into the back of your throat, "Cut it out Venti, don't joke like that."
"But I'm not joking, your grace. Did you- did you not know?" His eyes were wide and glassy, "I'm sorry..."
You blinked owlishly, "Wha- you're serious? I thought- I thought I just looked like them!"
"I thought that was your intention!" Venti cried, "I thought this was like- a test of loyalty or something!"
"No! What? Am I actually-" You couldn't force the words out as you stared Venti in the eyes, stunned.
"Y-yes!" He shouted, "You're the creator! I can sense it! So can the slimes and animals. Don't you see?" He pointed to the nearby birds, their gaze turned towards you, "They like you! The monsters don't attack you and this statue calls out to you! Don't you feel its warmth? It's probably why you didn't freeze last night."
You were silent as the information processed, "So- so wait!" You turned your body fully facing Venti, "That shrine in the cathedral... was for me?" You asked, bewildered.
He nodded, "Yeah! Did- did you really not know?"
Immediately you were wildly shaking your head, "No! I just- I dunno! I thought I was like the traveler or something that just got dropped off here one day."
"The traveler came here of their own free will, (Name)!" Venti sighed, "I just- You look exactly like them too!"
"Listen! Denial is a powerful think, okay!" You huffed.
"Fine, I get it." He rested his head on his hands, his eyes meeting yours, "So... are you gonna tell the others?"
"... Dunno." You shrugged, "What would happen if I did?"
"Well..." Venti tapped his finger against his face and used his other hand to hold up his pointer finger, "Zhongli would go batshit. He's got a whole log up his ass when it comes to you and how to 'properly worship you' bleh." Venti stuck his tongue out, "Then there's Baal, she'll probably also go insane over you. She's like a lost puppy." He held up a third finger, "Then there's Jean and the knights. I think they'd be... alright. If you told them they'd try and throw huge festivals for you and worship you. Oh, and the church would triple their worshipping for you, obviously."
You roughly sighed, "So... I won't be treated as a human is what you're saying."
"I mean- well- yeah." He frowned, "Don't worry, I get it if you don't wanna do a whole grand reveal. It's stressful. Too much work, y'know?"
You hummed in agreement, "The thing is..." You frowned, "We don't have any mora."
Venti scoffed, straightening his back with a proud grin, "Speak for yourself! I have a mora."
You snorted, "A mora."
"Hey, better than what you're doing," He took off his hat, "It's right in here-"
You both stared at the hat that was almost as empty as your souls.
"Okay well," Venti put his hat back on, "Nothing a little begging can't do. Not like I haven't played music for money before."
You stared at the ground hopelessly, "...so... how do you think Ningguang would react to me telling her I'm the creator?"
Venti snorted, "I like the way you think but... she'd be grand. I think she'd make you live in the Jade Chamber and give you every little thing you could ever want. She can keep a secret though I'll bet."
You hummed and stared at Venti, living a life as free as a bird. Even with the status of the Anemo Archon, he was as free as his people, and just as happy as them as well.
"Not really the life I wanna live... what about Childe?"
Venti shuddered, "I love you (Name), but no. He makes... quite a spectacle of things. And, well," Venti frowned, "He'd probably leave a few corpses at your doorstep."
"Ah," You grimaced, "Okay so... we're fucked."
"Ah ah ah," Venti waggled his finger comically, "Don't you remember what I said? I can sing for money, and I'm sure with you, the creator's look-alike right by my side helping me with my performance, we'd make double the money! I mean," His eyes were alight with mischievous glee, an expression on him you were coming to dread, "That Noelle girl yesterday had no problem giving you a free meal just cause you look like the creator! So I'm sure we'll pull in lots of cash!"
You frowned and then a lightbulb went off in your head, "Wait a minute," Venti raised a brow, intrigued, "If I'm the supposed creator or god of this world... then those offerings at the altars and shrines are meant for me... right?"
Venti nodded with a tilt of his head, "Yes? ...Oh... Oh!" His eyes lit up like Christmas lights, "You mean-?"
You grinned, "So that means that if I were to... let's say... take the items and sell them, it wouldn't be wrong right?"
Venti tilted his head back and laughed, "No, I suppose it wouldn't be, your grace."
Your grin was damn near evil, "Then I suppose we have our plan then."
Venti nodded, "I suppose we do!" He hopped up and grabbed your hand to help you up as well, "Though I think my singing idea was pretty good." He kicked his legs up like a child as you both made your way back to Mondstadt, "Who knows, I might even become the most famous bard in all of Teyvat with you by my side!"
You hummed, smiling fondly at the silly bard at your side, "Perhaps."
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pretty--in--purple · 9 months
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love that this episode was so wild we aren't even addressing COLIN ROBINSON REMEMBERING HIS CHILDHOOD WITH LASZLO?!??!?!??
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[ID: a digital sketch of Eda and Raine from the owl house. They're in their designs from watching and dreaming, pre epilogue. Raine holds out their arm for an injection (given by a disembodied hand and labeled "magic rabies shot") and Eda lays a hand on their shoulder and leans her head on theirs. She says "you're doing great Raine! how'd you get rabies tho?". Raine stares dead eyed at the viewer as a thought bubble connected to them shows Belos biting down on their arm. End ID]
I was gonna post a request today but I feel like it's gonna flop and this is funnier. So request tomorrow, Raine Whispers Rabies doodle today
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ispyspookymansion · 10 months
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(wakes up) (goes to saw franchise in my mind) Oh god the fucking adam body double(?) behind the scenes photo that was leaked months ago
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imthursdaysyme · 4 months
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I think Itd be funny if Steve accidentally became obsessed with puzzles but won't admit it the same way dads watch shows by standing off to the side. robin has them out and he complains but she finds him 2hrs later still standing doing puzzles and he's like a caught raccoon
#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#listen I just think it would be so funny#man is like uh no I don't do puzzles but also completely unrelated there's the piece you're looking for#constantly hovering and pretending he's not#robin loosing her shit like istg come sit and join me or leave#and he's like god FINE IF YOU INSIST#and she's like bro I said or leave too#and he's like WOE IS ME- ROBERTO FORCING ME TO SIT AND FO THE PUZZLE WOTH HER#and she's like Steve pls stop#I AM BEING DETAINED AGAINST MY W—#Steve would you stop yell—#—FORCED INTO MATRIARCHAL TYRANNY FORCUNG ME—#—esteban stop taking all the pieces-#I AM SHACKLED AND CH—#Steve how are you taking so many pieces wait stop how are you so fast—#BOUND TO THE WOODEN CHAIR AND COLORFUL GRANDMA ACTIVITIES WITH—#Steve please let me do half stop—#NO ONE TO SAVE ME#Steve how did you do it that fast wait stop you finished it what are you—#I MUST NOW TAKE RANSOM—#steve put it down—#TO HOLD MY CAPTIVE ACCOUNTA—#—steve please where are you taking the puzzle and how are you holding it without break—whERE ARE YOU GOING???#I WILL BE FREE OF MY CHAI— oh haha hey jon no i’m not doing anything strange no nance i’m just chilling—#YOU HAVE BEEN YELLING AND MONOLOGUEING FOR THE PAST THIRTY MI UTES LIKE A THEATER KID WHAT DO U MEAN CHILLING#i was doing nOTHING of the sort—#oh god he was doing the acting thing again with the medival imagery thing wasn’t he#nancy pls tell me he hasnt done this to you— oh god steve what is wrong with you
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senselessalchemist · 2 months
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Bow problems (+ other nonsense)
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graveyardgremlins · 6 months
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Hey, I know I disappeared for a while. Mental illness, college and MEN were distracting me from my ONE TRUE PASSION (Danny Phantom). My head was so fucked up I almost posted an excerpt of last chapter instead of the new one T-T
anyway, here you go:
 "B tells me you had a date." "I'm not sure you want to hear about it." "Nothing in this world could keep me from prying in your personal life. That's my God given right as your brother." "I want a refund. I didn't get anything from being your brother." "What are you talking about? I taught you how to do backflips!" "You bullied me into doing backflips." "Potato potato," Dick shrugged. "So… Your date?" Jason sighed. "It was great, he almost killed me once." "Oh, wow. That's two times less than Tim's current record." "I know. I'm very proud of it." "And what else?" Jason hesitated. "He is insane." "I mean, he is dating you. That's a given." Jason rolled his eyes.
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ambrosiagourmet · 14 days
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So, I’m going to reblog my heteronormativity post with some more stuff when I get the energy to compile it all (thank you to everyone who has shared thoughts!!!)
But in the meantime I am just kind of putting together how. Unfortunately kind of funny and terrible it is that the ancient magic that Lycion uses to be a transgender werewolf doesn’t seem to be related to demons literally at all, but is still illegal?? Like imagine if 2000 years from now it was against the law to take T bc it was used in the same time period as nukes.
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