*SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS*

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. THEY GOT MARRIED WITH PEACHIE O'S AND HE PUT "BELOVED WIFE" ON HER GRAVESTONE 😭

sigh i had an epiphany

book 4 is just a whole ass scooby doo episode huh

"It's normal for siblings to fight" Okay well it's not normal to be extremely classist and look down on your sister for being non-conforming. Or to go to the woman who ordered the death of your pet to tell her about your father's plans, when he specifically warned you against doing so, because you want to marry the boy you saw attack your sister and her friend (contributing partially to said father's death and your sister being unable to escape on the ship he chartered). Or to think of your sibling as unsatisfactory in comparison to another when you believe her to be dead. I notice that none of the "Sansa and Arya are going to reunite and instantly have no issues" crowd ever acknowledge any of this, which makes it seem like they don't actually believe what they say about their relationship being normal and easily reconciled. People wanting them to have no issues simply because they're siblings is another example of how fandom likes to flatten complex characters and relationships. They get reduced to being bickering siblings when their conflict runs deeper than that. If the author is telling you that they have "deep issues" to work out [X], I don't understand being so adamant about ignoring said issues. I also get the sense it's about ignoring the capacity for a certain character to be flawed, but that isn't going to change the fact that her "slip of the tongue" is very likely to be revealed and a source of further conflict 🤷🏾‍♀️

i keep putting off finishing the actual meta post i have in my drafts for ravage, but i think this scene specifically is so interesting to me. ravage has absolutely no reason to give a fuck about nightbeat or getaway (offscreen), but chose to protect them against the ticks. this is the issue directly after getaway openly says he distrusts ravage and had the "ravage detector" made. i cannot stop thinking about it.

and not just defending nightbeat but ravage actively gets between him and the personality ticks. he starts off behind nightbeat and then moves in front of him to protect him.

keeping in mind that this is how getaway and nightbeat reacted to ravage's distress prior

no actual concern for ravage, just a quip and curiosity before they follow him. their reactions vs ravage's protection of them. i cannot stop thinking about it.

i have lies of p and ff 16 installed and ready to go so i can do something mildly enjoyable my last few days before the school/work death spiral starts up again and instead i'm just sitting here refreshing Webbed Sites and watching nothing interesting appear like

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

Genuine question: do you think people are more likely to paint sora as (emotionally) naive, rather than a more book-dumb kind of way? like being too trusting of people, that kind of thing

ahaha anon So i kind of accidentally wrote an essayish in response, but it ended up moving on from ur question to expanding on thoughts i have abt characterizations of sora, oopsie 

but TLDR: To answer your question anon, i actually think its about equally both, and i think perceiving him with a lack of emotional maturity can bleed into perceiving him with a lack of intelligence; sentiments like friends as your power and leaving no one behind can seem naïve and irrational if one doesnt think that sora comprehends his odds and still chooses to proceed because his heart believes it is right. while sora does have a ways to grow emotionally, especially in regards to his own feelings, i dont think that he lacks knowledge when it comes to relationships and understanding others emotions, which is actually rather his strong suit. i also think that sora is generally very smart, and just dont quite understand why people portray him as not quite being so

~ the aforementioned ramble ~ ooo good question ! hm. i think more often i notice people characterizing him in a book dumb sort of way, but honestly that could be bc it bugs me more. however, we dont know if sora did well in school or not/what level of education he got, so instead of a strictly textbook smart sense, i see it more as a lacking the characteristics of someone who is book smart sense? basically, people painting him as airheaded, oblivious, or not very eloquent; i think especially with jokes or complicated subjects going over his head. but, if you look at his dialogue (and, while this is more subjective, puzzles and challenges he has to overcome in the gameplay), thats usually not the case? hes delivered plenty of introspective and articulate lines; hes witty, sarcastic, and even sometimes rude; hes incredibly adaptive and resourceful considering the situations he’s thrown into, and hes a quick learner, as shown by his keyblade skills.

however, i think some of these perceptions do come from how he is a very emotionally driven person. he follows his heart and is loyal and trusting to a fault, and that can cause him to take actions that seem impulsive, illogical, and naïve. however, i think sora is very knowledgeable of emotions because of how he connects with people. he’s incredibly empathetic and understanding of others and has made friends with nearly everyone he meets because of that; which i believe is an incredibly difficult accomplishment. while his feelings can lead to mistakes, they are also his greatest strength; he will try his best to fix those mistakes. where i believe he really struggles is in processing his own emotions.

and on that, sora is pretty self-deprecating, and laughs off a lot of things, which sometimes can cover up just how talented he is because even he denies it. i think that oftentimes, sora himself believes that he’s dumb, or lesser in comparison to others, which can lead to people taking that at face value if they dont look deeper

however. sora is still a cheerful and silly guy, and thats an important part of his personality too! he is an energetic, optimistic teenage boy who really just wants to have fun with his friends and thinks that everyone should have a happy ending.

sora has a lot of different dimensions to him, but unfortunately characters that have a seemingly cheerful disposition and noble motivations that come off as idealistic can often get sanded down to being stupid because they’re seen as too naïve to understand the gravity of their situation.

to clarify, i dont think that soras never been dumb. keyboard (and keyblade) smashing is probably not the best idea if a computer isnt working. but, in my opinion, i think sometimes we dont give sora enough credit in our depictions of him, and tend to exaggerate certain qualities of his while forgetting others

dreams relationship with his dad is actually really comforting and inspiring to me. like he's talked about how it was strained when he was younger and even has that tweet about thinking he didn't love him but now he's showing these sweet texts and he's clearly super close to his family. it may be parasocial of me but it really makes me believe that I could get there with my mum one day.

When Dream talked years ago about rebuilding his relationship with him mom I really took those words to heart. And I began to understand her. She is my mama and I love her soo much while still understanding she abused me and my brother for years and at some point I just had to understand she is never going to apologize for it I just need to decide if I can live with it. And I can cause her new husband has really changed her for the better. And I see a woman worth knowing and loving and Dream really inspired me to reach out and try. So I say he shared these things with us on some level for this exact reason. So just know that anonie and go forward with it

:33 18 and 6 for cynthia and 23 and 42 for caine? also E for both of them?

evening!! hii sammy :D (and gm to you)!

18. What embarrasses them?

oh my beloved little girl gets embarrassed/flustered super easily, its a trait many (ortega and themmy) have exploited before. broadly, something that would embarrass her is just being put in the center of attention. shes got extremely low arrogance, she prefers sticking to the sidelines whenever possible. its also a role shes more used to playing– back in her sidestep days, she was a sidekick, and even earlier than that, back in the farm, she specialized more on tailing and tracking people. she wasnt trained to act in front of a group of people that wasnt serving them, and alongside her whole,,, thing with the past, shed revisit it often and itd be a nightmare for her lol.

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

ooh this is interesting. hmmm. id say she defaults to laws being immovable, but given the right incentive she could find out some creative ways to push them. i guess the best way to explain it is like. you know dnd alignments? yeah shed be lawful good, but resting on the trigger finger of true neutral. it wasnt like that before she met the rangers, id categorize her as lawful neutral because of what the farm taught her, but the rangers gave her a sense of purpose and morality that shifted that neutrality into good. she still gets apprehensive when she thinks about going against what shes been told, especially since she grew up with this getting drilled into her.

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? 

you know, caines not the type to get jealous over what people have, its not useful to think about what couldve been when they could be spending their time thinking about how to use the resources hes got effectively and overall hes very content with the draw life has given him, so-

*remembers mortums lab exists*

i take back everything i just said, caine would strangle god with his bare hands for the chance to play with her lab

for him though, envy ends up being more of a mix of wistfulness and awe. hes not very antagonistic when he gets like this, youll just get a lot of questions from them and possibly see the very rare caine puppy dog eyes as they stare forlornly at the item they want (which. lets be real here. is more than likely something tech related. you will never see caine as happy as when he got the chance to play with ortegas mods).

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 

a reasonable amount! dont. dont look at the driven achievement. no you dont have to check their drive stat, hey stop looking at the stats-

hes willing to do what it takes to achieve his goals, no matter how badly it hurts, because he genuinely believes its that important. theyll sacrifice a lot for what they believe is the greater good. its less that he wants to reach his end goal, and more that they need to. its something that goes beyond what they feel (and thats part of the reason they attribute their motivation to fate rather than justice!).

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Caine- theyre already very difficult to get close to usually, and hes rather aloof and hard to talk to. theyre polite, just,,, distant. i already struggle with holding conversations so itd peter out very quick. unless we somehow got on the subject of tech. in which case fuck yeah i know how to work my way through an infodump and itd probably be a fun conversation. most likely though, wed be in the same room and minding our own business lol.

Cynthia- oh i would hate talking to her. SHED BE NICE AND POLITE AND SWEET BUT GOD SHED BE SO DIFFICULT TO TALK TO. we both tend to react to the energy the other person gives off but our default state is quiet and polite, with the anxiety of a nervous lapdog. everytime id think of talking to her id probably have an anxiety spike because theres so few things to talk about, both of us require specific dialogue options to unlock character information and i could not deal with that stress 😭😭😭

questions from here!

why can’t this week just end alreadyyyyyyy

hanzo just being in a permanent state of grief eats at my soul.

the complex relationship between the Queen Mother and her last surviving daughter “who scoffs at tradition” and how said mother tries to heal alongside said daughter but because of their differencing perspectives on ideology and spirituality are unable to help each other and move on together as mother and daughter who’ve lost their son and brother.

the complex relationship between the Queen Mother and her only child who cannot close off their grieving periods at the same time because it isn’t how the process of grief works, and how said child continues to live in denial while said mother can only hope her child will maybe come to realize that none of her deceased loved ones have never and will never leave her

the complexities of their mother-daughter relationship that has to additionally go through the hardships of grief

My undying love for Rory is what brought me here

My undying love for Rory is what's gonna keep me here

... tired. burnout.

Daily Log 7

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Finished all of the little things I carved out of avocado pits, will maybe post pictures at some point? I painted some sections (like for the eye I carved, I made part of it white for contrast, etc.) and then generally glazed them with some shiny paint stuff. Now I really wish I had more avocado pits, I was unsure at first, but I have some new ideas.. I want to try inlaying stones like I've seen in some pictures, similar to the same ones I use for eyes in my sculptures. >:3 (random google image example of the stones inside, like this sort of thing V)

Low effort/small house cleaning tasks, did a few dishes, put up laundry, organized things, put up the recycling, paid bills, etc.

Still extremely sleepy and unfocused, it was hot last night and the cats woke me up multiple times so I only got a few hours of sleep and barely had any energy to do anything and also had a headache and back pain a lot of the day. ToT

Finally made an appointment I was supposed to make like 4 days ago lol..

Gave wet food to the cats (this is an ordeal because George eats way faster than Noodle, so I have to separate them and stand guard so George doesn't vacuum his up immediately then run over and try to eat all of his brothers food.. evil boy must be watched to prevent his crimes )

Edited videos for like.. 15 minutes but still have not been very productive on that front (or editing costume photos or anything) due to shoulder pain and stuff making it hard to type/use mouse much on the computer. grrbbb >:V

Spent 10 minutes looking up a weird pendant I had in my rock collection area and found out it's an old piece of costume jewelry from the 60s(?) and could be worth like $200 potentially, which is cool. I'm not sure if I'll sell it though because I do think it's quite unique and good for a prop when making wizard character inventories, etc, and I'd never be able to find anything like it again (it's this one below.. it's very weird.. looks like something a mage would have lol)

Translated the tapestry text for 5 minutes, and got out some tubs of clothes to start organizing them to sell outfits and stuff online, but then felt ill and had to go lay down so now the tubs are just sitting out on the floor ghgh..

Notable sights: It rained a bit and the sky was very pretty at one point. Didn't get to go outside today due to schedule/low energy, so no clovers or anything. Saw a fat squirrel out the window once though. Also when I was looking through my "rock collection" (which also includes marbles, dice, pieces of glass, stones, gems, rubber balls, seashells, smooth wood, jewelry scraps, etc. ggh.. really more "shiny things collection" but it's mostly rocks, so) for interesting stones to possibly put into avocado pits in the future, I saw a lot of pretty rocks I hadn't thought about in a while, so that was nice.

Goals moving forward: Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Nothing really.. but it's an asparagus day tomorrow I think so.. >:)c hehehehe... Oh, I did try a bite of corn, which I really really love corn but am not supposed to have it on my diet. The miniscule morsel was sufficiently cherished. Still craving hearty stuff despite resuming my iron supplements lol..