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ennoshawty · 3 years

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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

97 notes · View notes

lorelexi · 4 years

Text

Some HQ boys brushing your hair (Ft. Tsukishima, Sugawara, Bokuto, Kuroo, Osamu, and Atsumu, separately)

Read the Bnha ver. here!

Warnings: none! Very fluffy

These are really self indulgent so they aren't too inclusive for hair type as I have 2B/2C hair,,, so I apologize in advance 😔

A/N: Personally I think this is a really sweet act of intimacy and I think I would cry if anyone ever brushed my hair for me.

Also this is my first time writing for the Miya twins so please all constructive criticism or advice is welcome!

---

Tsukishima

• My strawberry boy

• when you first ask him it goes one of two ways

• "what? Can't do it yourself?" *proceeds to do it anyway*

• or he just hums and grabs the brush from you

• listens to your short directions and gets started as gentle as possible

• yall got music softly playing in the background (I HC that he listens to indie but it can be anything as long as ur relaxed) and it's kind of a vibe

• sometimes when he's brushed through a strand he'll follow up by combing his fingers through the same strand and it feels so nice 🥺

• when he's all done you immediately turn around and pull him toward you

• his arms wrap around your middle and he nuzzles his nose to the crook of your neck (occasionally will press kisses there) while you run your own hands through his hair 😭

• his lil waves and curls are so cute 🥺💝

• salty dino boy really does love affection deep down so he lives for occasions like these when he can wind down with you and not have to keep his wall of pride up the whole time

Suga

• sugaaaaaa😭😭😭

• i can imagine him humming a soft tune while he combs thru your hair strand after strand

• your eyes closed focusing on his voice and the brush movements

• 10/10 very nice

• he might add a lil braid somewhere if he knows that you won’t mind

• suga is soft but lets not forget the chaos,,,

• he’ll pause every now and then to press kisses to or blow raspberries into your neck

• you don't know which one ur gonna get tho so be prepared

• he snickers a lil when you go "Koushi!!" after he's blown a raspberry to your neck hehe

• kinda makes up for it when he kisses you, they are very sweet kisses

• probably dramatically wraps his arms around you when he's done and yall lay there for a bit enjoying eachothers company 😭

Bokuto

• very enthusiastic about this

• "your hair! Of course I'll brush your hair for you baby!!"

• you're kinda scared he'll get too excited and yank a little too hard

• you very calmly tell him to be gentle and give him directions on the best way to brush through your hair

• yall probably watching a movie or show while he does this

• sitting on the couch with you between his legs

• he's very tempted to just drop the brush and wrap his big arms around you in a hug but he resists,,, for u 💝

• plus he knows you'll give him kissies after

• and you do! When he's all gone you lean behind and go

• "thank you Kou, you did good baby, it felt nice."

• maybe kiss his nose, he’d like that a lot

• bokuto has lil tears in his eyes tbh,,, he's just so soft for you and you're so cute!🥰

Kuroo

• before he gets started he kind gives you a little shoulder massage if you're okay with it

• idk how he does it but I imagine his touch to be really relaxing

• prolly has you sit on the edge of the bed while he stands behind you

• starts to comb through your hair carefully, using his hand to brush against so he won't hurt you

• uses this time to ask you about your day if you want to talk but he's also 100% okay if you don't feel like talking

• kuroo is literally so willing to do anything you need/want him to do

• he knows you appreciate it and it makes him happy

• so like if you would also like him to help style your hair (trust, he’s actually kind of good at it) he’s down

• (like shinsou from the bnha ver) I can definitely see him also brushing aside your hair to one shoulder so that he can lightly kiss your exposed neck when he's done

• it's actually very sweet 🥺

• he gets kisses as a reward after and is very content with that

• he sees it as another small way that he can repay you for all the things you've done for him

Osamu

• when you ask him to brush your hair for you,,, he is very easy to convince

• just kinda nods at you with a “‘course doll” then disappears into the kitchen and you’re like????

• king of snacks,, yall already know🤩

• comes back with your favorite snacks or something he’s cooked for you to enjoy

• then he just takes his place behind you and gets to work

• kinda knows what he’s doing? Somehow, you’re not sure

• brushes your hair the way he remembers seeing you do it

• very minimal tugging

• gets all the tangles out pretty easily

• you’re so relaxed you barely notice he’s done until he just places his hand on your head and looks at you so softly before handing back the brush FJBSJVBvjkBdvjsj

• then he gives you this smile and goes “Don’t I get a kiss now?”

• ofc you get kisses ‘Samu 🥺💛

Atsumu

• unlike osamu who asks for his kisses at the end, atsumu is like “uhhh I’m gonna need like at least 10 kisses for that”🙄

• which like obv you’re gonna give him but you pretend to put up a fight just so you can mess with him

• jokes on you he’s literally doing the same thing

• anyways

• he’s like “sure babe, whatever you want”

• has you sit in front of him and wraps his arms around you briefly and presses a kiss to your cheek before getting started🥴

• you’ll probably have to remind him how to take care of your hair for you

• but once you do, he’s got it

• when he’s all done he'll playfully tug on a stand of your hair lightly before handing back the brush and goin “all done!”

• he then returns to his previous position with his arms around you and places his chin on your shoulder

• yall just cuddle with a lot of kisses in between🥺

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c0ffeebee · 3 years

Note

you got any rare kliego fic recs? i’ve probably read the first five pages of most kudos’d results but i know there are a ton that slip thru the cracks

ok, i'm sorry for replying so late, nonny, but i guess looking at the list you'll understand why ❤

i'll be honest with you once i've gotten into kliego i read through their entire tag of ao3 [at least those fics where i was ok with the tags and summary felt intriguing] so now i literally went through it again and picked those of the fics the names of which i remembered, and there's A LOT 😀 some of those are really popular, some not at all, but i remember loving those ❤

at first i thought i would tell you a bit about every fic on the list, but it would take me forever, so i will just give you titles/links, authors and summaries, hope it's fine ❤ look out for the tags tho, to know if you’re fine with everything! and some of those are benkliego ❤

i'm sure i forgot or missed something, but i did my best, trust me ❤

so without further ado i present to you:

bee's big kliego rec list (in no particular order)

till you can breathe on your own by iwishii

Diego has never been more frightened than he is now, trying to help his brother reach the surface in time.

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practice makes perfect by iwishii

Klaus doesn't want to show up to parties totally inexperienced and virginal, so he asks Diego to help him get some practice in.

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master of my domain by achilleees

“You’re asking five 13-year-old boys not to jerk off for – it can’t be done,” Luther says. “Now that we’re older, it would be different, but back then –”

“Excuse me, I could do it,” Five says. “I could certainly outlast all of you.”

They all look at each other.

“Oh, no,” says Allison.

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the year that wasn't by achilleees

Diego turned to Five. “I’ve already, uh, lived today. This has already happened.”

Everyone went still.

“Ooh, that’s a mind-fuck,” said Klaus.

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The Weight of Himself by sarkywoman

If he could, Diego would unfurl his middle finger.

For the 'can only move the eyes' square at badthingshappenbingo. Reginald's experiments have devastating consequences on Diego, but both he and Klaus refuse to let that be the end.

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Laid Bare by MilenaDaniels

“So,” Five continued matter-of-factly, “you’re in a cramped, human sized box, in a graveyard where you can’t see light or hear sounds. What are the odds that you’re above ground?”

Diego blinked. He thought he’d been smelling the iron of his blood pooling and drying under his head but it was humid in here, and musty.

“Fuck,” Diego said.

Diego and Klaus are buried alive together.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Flies in the Kitchen by yourfearlessleader

Klaus is sixteen and love is a rot.

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Before, During, and After by yourfearlessleader

Before the apocalypse, life was making the best of a bad situation, and Klaus found that he grew up to be very good at it.

During is, for lack of a better word, hard.

After they try to kill Vanya, after the apocalypse, after they jump through time to avoid it, after they survive and make up and a million and one other things, here they are.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

break it like you're breaking a code by findyourfortunefalling

"Are you planning to sit in a chair like a person today, or are we all eating our breakfast off of you this morning?"

"Kinky," Klaus purrs, but he rolls off the table anyway, and piles himself into a seat near the head of the table. Diego puts the plate of pancakes in front of him; he's put blueberries in them today. "Thank you, chef."

"Eat," says Diego. "Quietly."

Instead of replying, Klaus picks up a pancake with his fingers, stuffs the entire thing into his mouth at once, and chews noisily.

Diego sighs, and goes back to the stove. "Man, I remember a time when you were house trained."

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two boys emerging from shadowed hallways by spikeymarshmallows

After Ben dies, Diego drags a broken Klaus out of the Academy. They're both determined to never return, to find their own way out in the world.

Things are not as easy as they would like.

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the things i can't say by spikeymarshmallows

"Diego, wait!" Klaus shouted, clutching Diego's arm.

"You look like Antonio Banderas with long hair," he choked.

Five times Klaus doesn't say 'I love you'.

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Into the Night by spikeymarshmallows

"Hey," Klaus whispered, "hey, Diego, wake up." Diego grumbled, dragging his blanket higher up his body before settling again. "Hey." Klaus tried again, voice a little louder. "Hey, wake up." He poked at Diego's arm insistently.

The Hargreeves siblings go on late night adventure to get doughnuts

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all tangled close by spikeymarshmallows

They were all going to have to deal with the pheromones for however long Klaus' first heat lasted.

Diego was, in a word, screwed.

Five times Diego and Klaus have heat sex; and one time they don't.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

the kliego genderswap/sexswap by spikeymarshmallows

The name speaks for itself.

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The Fools' Journey by sweetstuff

After his release from prison on a manslaughter charge, Diego tries to leave behind the life he adapted to survive on the inside. He finds himself drawn to a beautiful and peculiar sex worker named Klaus in a local bar, and when danger strikes Diego makes a decision that will have them both running for their lives.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

and death i think is no parenthesis by laiqualaurelote

“You guys seem really chill about all this,” observed Ben. “By this point most people are running around screaming.”

“Occupational hazard,” said Klaus.

“I’ve lost a lot of blood,” said Diego. “I’m just accepting everything at face value right now.”

Allison is the best damn realtor in the business, and she is going to sell the Hargreeves Mansion if it kills her. Never mind that it’s packed to the rafters with the ghastly relics of grisly murders, or that there’s a vampire in the basement who looks like a 13-year-old, or that the medium she hired to exorcise its inhabitants keeps flirting with some of them, i.e. the one with the knives and the one with the tentacles. Or that if they all spend enough time together, they just might cause the apocalypse.

NotSiblings!AU that is basically The Umbrella Academy as American Horror Story: Murder House, though you need not have seen any AHS to read this.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

i got troubles (they won't let me be) by antipathy

“I don’t understand why you’re hung up on this.” Five didn’t bother to mask his scowl. “Let me spell it out for you: either you two fuck, or we all die.”

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Eye Of The Storm by shadowhive

Diego decides to surprises Klaus by taking them on a weekend trip, but it doesn’t go as planned.

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Mine, All Mine by Electra_XT

“No!” Klaus said. “Move the other way.”

“What are you trying to get a good look at, exactly?” Diego said.

Klaus blinked at him. His eyes were wide and kohl-rimmed, as fetching and alluring as the rest of him. “Why, your ass,” he said. “That thing is fine.”

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On Sight by Electra_XT

“Oh,” Klaus said, stopping in his tracks with his hand on the mouse.

Ben leaned over his shoulder. “‘Cute Latino camboy gives a show’?”

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Practice Makes Perfect Sense by punk_rock_yuppie

“Practice… kissing?” Diego asks.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Aftershocks by punk_rock_yuppie

Saving the world is hard work, is Klaus’ last thought before succumbing to the heat of the puppy pile he and his other siblings have formed.

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Passenger by Cunninglinguist

“And you’re sure that’s okay?”

“I mean, yeah. It’s fine with me. All we have to do is ask Diego.”

“And you think he’ll be...cool with it?”

“Dunno.” Klaus shrugs and stirs his smoothie with his straw. “But I’m on board with it, and he usually gets on board with whatever I’m on board with, so. I’d say it’s at least worth an ask.”

Klaus feels Ben’s eyes burning into him as he sips his beverage. Sure, the idea of Ben possessing him had initially been about as appealing as a coffee enema, and the first few times in practice had been more than slightly traumatizing. But once they’d established ground rules and worked to get more in tune with one another, Klaus had come to find the experience to be...interesting. It could be pleasant, almost zen—there is no sensation in the world quite like being a passenger in one's own body. And to be privy to both his own sensations as well as Ben’s? Well, that’s something else entirely.

Which is why the idea of Ben possessing his body during sex both freaks him out and turns him on in equal measure.

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i am a dark and wicked thing by Cunninglinguist

Klaus is staring at Diego with hollow eyes, straw still perched between his lips. No reaction, not even a spark of joy or schadenfreude as he watches Diego disrupt breakfast. Diego shifts. He’s seen corpses before, and were Klaus not sitting close enough to touch, chest rising and falling visibly with his breath, Diego could easily mistake him for one.

Vampire!Klaus AU

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The Diamond Sinners by Cunninglinguist

Another drink and a half later, he’s finally back on the right side of numb. The house lights dim and a new dancer is announced. He’s gazing across the club, eyeing the buffet with semi-tipsy hunger, thinking that it’s probably time to call it a night, when suddenly, his heart stops dead in his chest.

There, onstage, rolling his lithe body sensuously against the pole like he was summoned out of one of Diego’s wet dreams, is Klaus.

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Broken Like Me by Starrstruck_64

“This s-s-stuff will kill you,” he says plucking the cigarette out of Klaus’ fingers, delighting slightly in the fact that he’d only partially stumbled through the sentence.

Klaus smirks and it’s such a far cry from his fun loving brother he had two weeks ago that Diego nearly flinches.

“Ever stop and think that’s the plan,” Klaus says moving to stand and reaching to snag the cigarette back.

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sing it out, hard as you can by plingo_kat

The first time it happens, Klaus doesn’t notice.

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Soft by Dirty_Corza

Sometimes, between the boxing matches and vigilante business, Diego likes to be soft.

Klaus and Ben surprise him by liking the softer side of him, too.

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Wait for it by nishiki

A mission gone wrong, a dream shattered.

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all that i have to lose by UnrememberedSkies

Diego does some good, and Klaus pays the price.

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wasp by Chelseylovesllamas

Diego is scared of bugs, Klaus saves the day.

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Friday at Four by Kliegology

Diego's life takes a nosedive when he's forced out of work and into an art therapy class. He's clinging to his last shred of normality when he meets Klaus, who takes one look at him and threatens to tear it away.

“I think you’ll find you have a lot in common with the other people there,” The Therapist said, watching him shrewdly.

Diego was vividly reminded of the jittery, barefoot man in the pink fluffy cardigan. He snorted. “I don’t think so.”

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#long post #kliego #bee answers #anonymous

90 notes · View notes

manicdragondreamgirl · 3 years

Text

I haven’t had chemistry since like 2008, and I’m also an idiot who likes to make my friends upset, so I rated the periodic table in order to tilt my friends:

Hydrogen - this is like your childhood friend who has always been with you more or less and always will be down to get a drink and chill even tho you haven’t spoken in years. Solid bro imo 7.5/10

Helium - always down for a good time, even if probably created Alvin and the Chipmunks which in some places is considered a war crime. 4/10

Lithium - Gives me bitchy vibes and is flammable as fuck if I remember. Skinny bitch with an attitude 3/10

Beryllium - idk this sounds like a sailor moon villain lol for that it can have a 6/10

Boron - more like BORONG amirite ha ha wait no seriously I have no idea lol 5/10 clean neutral rating

Carbon - *screaming* 2/10 I will not be taking questions

Nitrogen - cool cool cool tight tight tight 9/10 Nitrogen just is the cool hot chick you wish you were

Oxygen - kid who takes up all the glory for the group project even tho you did all the work, 4/10 for natural charisma

Fluorine - lol what are you knockoff chlorine lmfao bitch 3/10 reminds me of the dentist

Neon - I can vibe with this boy for his contributions to signs which cause my eyes to scream 8/10 modernized Art Deco thanks you

Sodium - 10/10 this is me and I won’t be taking questions next element

Magnesium - magnesium is a close relative of magnificent and therefore I think the case is closed folks 9/10

Aluminum - 10/10 for providing a home to my Diet Coke addiction I’d be dead without you

Silicon - 6.9/10 :smirk:

Phosphorous - This has a very soundly name and it’s welcome to do that but idk, not a fan, seems like he’d be smelly, 2/10

Sulfur - 1/10 pretty sure that dog farts are purely comprised of this and as such if I was leaving negative ratings I would

Chlorine - 7.8/10 for being in pools so we could swim without brain eating amoeba in the south you a champ

Argon - he seems like a nerd jk this guy has a good color 9/10 for just being himself

Potassium - I hate bananas and this word gives me the physical sensation of biting into one but only by thinking of abstract letters and making them into something which we can nutrientise from bananas and to me that shit is bananas, b a n a n a s — 3/10 for making me sing hollaback girl thru adhd word association

Calcium - hm my brain went to mega milk so you get a 2/10 today bud I don’t make the rules

Scandium - pretty sure this is fake lol what’s next faxdium, e-Mailite and copinium? 5/10

Titanium - this song’s a banger and also is the only thing that lets me wear earrings 10/10

Vanadium - if your erection lasts for longer than like idk it’s supposed to then don’t take vanadium wait what do you mean it’s not an ED treatment 4/10

Chromium - decent bloke shame the browser eats all your memory 5/10

Manganese - if a weeb tries to tell me how to pronounce mayonnaise one more time... 1/10

Iron - excellent tool against the fey, in your blood, what a bro, 10/10 this bitch slaps

Cobalt - has a powerful energy; I respect him. 8/10

Nickel - if I had a nickel for every time someone made this joke lol 5/10 he’s doing his best

Copper - taste bad 3/10

Zinc - isn’t that the dude in the green tunic and white tights who saves premcess Lelda or something lol 7/10 those games are good

Gallium - seems like a prick 4/10

Germanium - sounds like a child pronouncing geraniums which are superior 3/10

Arsenic - bad vibes coach 1/10

Selenium - isn’t this just sailor moon lol 10/10 love this bitch

Bromine - farmine wherever you aremine - 9/10 I love a good bro

Krypton - he’s okay I guess 5/10

Rubidium - yet another Steven universe villain who will be redeemed I imagine 4/10 seems a bit dull

Strontium - I feel nothing when I see this lad’s name and that seems like a shame 1/10 I don’t like it

Yttrium - this is an atrium in Yharnam, or something 8/10 would love to sit in one and make contact with higher beings

Zirconium - oh wait THIS is the sailor moon villain from the dead moon circus! 9/10 I enjoyed that arc

Niobium - seems sassy, I like that in an element 7/10

Molybdenum - I hate this one, rancid. 1/10 for making me have flashbacks to difficult Ancient Greek vocabulary there is no fucking way that sound combination is anything but Beta and Delta borking and then Latin being like oh imma steal that

Technetium - 6/10 decent name but seems a bit forced

Ruthenium - 5/10 kindly old lady element I guess lol

Rhodium - 10/10 this ain’t my first rhodium babee this lad has good vibes what a name what a king

Palladium - 10/10 for making me think of paladins

Silver - 12/10 I’m breaking the rules for this silver is the best it is so cool and also it is the other best tool for dealing with supernatural creatures when iron has failed you highly suggest Even if I am extremely allergic to it going into my ears...wait hold on

Cadmium - 2/10 sounds like a total douche

Indium - 8/10, i just think it’s independent and neat

Tin - 10/10 good ear sounds when involving rain and roof shapes and automatically reminds me of Nora Jones’s come away with me album which is also 10/10

Antimony - 7/10 decent protagonist good name all around seems rad

Tellurium - tell ur mom what? That’s so early 2010s league of legends humor bro 2.5/10

Iodine - strikes fear in my soul from having it poured on my wounds but this is why I have more pain tolerance than god 5.3/10

Xenon - I think this is a declension of Xena warrior princess which is a win in my eyes, 8/10

Caesium - kind of has a cunty Latin name, 4.5/10

Barium - yeah boss, bury’im! 7.5/10 I love a good mobster gag

Lanthanum - A bit pretentious on the Tolkien spectrum sorry bud 3/10 sounds like you’d be the dickwad elf everyone hates

Cerium - 6.5/10 I like this one, gives me a clean vibe

Praseodymium - the fuck who sneezed all their alphabet soup onto the paperwork and called it an element Christ we can’t keep doing this 1.5/10

Neodymium - oh my god what did I just say 1/10

Promethium - thank Christ we’re back to greek 9/10 Prometheus was a Chad I could get behind

Samarium - 5/10 gives me boring wizard vibes

Europium - 4.5/10 don’t rename opium chrissake can’t take these nerds anywhere

Gadolinium - 5/10 it’s a starship knockoff but it’s trying to be bold with the G sound

Terbium - 2/10 I don’t vibe with this one

Dysprosium - sounds like an antidepressant that has a lot of shitty side effects 3/10

Holmium - sounds like someone anxious asking their beloved to hold them 8/10 I like hurt/comfort fics

Erbium - you can’t just describe something as herby you daft bastard 2/10

Thulium - sounds like a spell I like it 8.5/10

Ytterbium - macguffin in a shite sci-fi show that gets highly overrated because BBC produced it and superwholock stans emerge and go utterly feral 1/10

Lutetium - bards are an element I agree 10/10

Hafnium - sounds like a river (my dog) sound and has a cute vibe, I’d offer it head pats 7/10

Tantalum - noooo you can’t be sad yuor so sexe haha 6.9/10 tantalizing

Tungsten - 10/10 this is a lad with history

Rhenium - 5.5/10 it’s ok

Osmium - 4/10 I wasn’t a big wizard of oz fan

Iridium - 9/10 sounds like iridescent and that’s in my top 10 favorite words and concepts

Platinum - 10/10 best Pokémon game

Gold - 7.9/10 all that glitters and all but it’s still pretty on some people, silver is better tho

Mercury - yikes 8/10 so it doesn’t kill me

Thallium - sounds like the brother character in a ps4 exclusive western rpg that oddly falls under the radar in terms of reviews and gets shafted at awards for no reason 7/10 I’ll support you tho

Lead - 2/10 that’s gonna be a no from me dawg pretty sure I still have lead in my hands from stabbing myself with my mechanical pencils

Bismuth - 6/10 sounds good in mouth and reminds me of biscuits for some reason, I’ll take it

Polonium - to thine own self be true so stop trying to act like the arts don’t influence science jk pretty sure this is named for Poland but hey that’s where we get the Witcher so you get a pass 6/10

Astatine - 1/10 I don’t even know what you are

Radon - 7/10 this motherfucker knows his shit and how to party, rad is right

Francium - I bring you francium...and I bring you myrdurdium... 7/10 for a good vine

Radium - killed the video star probably 9/10 I can get behind her

Actinium - as opposed to passtinium I prefer actinium in the voice of writing 8/10

Thorium - overrated Norse god 5/10 because lightning is still cool

Protactinum - sounds like some pretentious condom brand 4/10 wouldn’t do it with a dude who bought these

Uranium - I always thought she was a hot sailor scout 10/10

Neptunium - same for her I knew they weren’t cousins you couldn’t lie to me 4kids 10/10

Plutonium - sounds like a macguffin unfortunately 5/10

Americium - I read this with a pivotal letter missing and nearly died, 7/10 for the laugh

Curium - 10/10 gives me Curie vibes and also reminds me of curiosity which reminds me of—[old yellered before the association could set in]

Berkelium - what I shout when I want Burke (fam dog) to slaughter innocents and raze territories 2/10 world was not meant to know his commands

Californium - 1/10 California is cool with geography but probs could stand to chill with the ego sorry to my friends in Cali

Einsteinium - 6/10 it’s alright but we’re really running out of ideas huh

Fermium - 3/10 this one is porny

Mendelevium - 1/10 my brain didn’t like parsing this and I stand by my earlier statement of running out of good names

Nobelium - 0/10 you didn’t name any noble gases this cowards this gas can’t be a noble oh wait it’s NOBEL I take it back 5/10 seems an alright chap

Lawrencium - fear the old blood my sorry dead hunter’s ass I’ll never get back my life from the hours I spent trying to beat this lava shitting bastard 2/10 for being a boss who eats Taco Bell specifically before being challenged to have fresh lava shit with which to punish you for having the audacity to exist in his space

Rutherfordium - my god what a snob 4.2/10 I respect him a little but only because he sounds like a right lad

Dubnium - DROP THE BASS 10/10

Seoborgium - not sure about this one but it can have a 7/10

Bohrium - as an American English speaker this sound combination makes my pathetic throat become a black hole as I try to properly create the sound of it 10/10 I love when my body becomes a massive void in the universe

Hassium - lazy 2/10

Elements 109-118 can go fuck themselves I hate them all, collective 6.66/10 for their general demonic vibe

#the periodic table #made by an idiot #it’s me your manic dragon dream girl #long post

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sunseteyes · 3 years

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↪︎ firstly, i’d like to say that i have already cleared out my inbox because of the new rules i’ve set. don’t worry because i left out a few of the ones i’m working on and i promise to post them during january. i’ll be closing my requests for a bit but they’ll be re-opened by next year.

↪︎ second, i’d like to say thank you. there are many people whom i’ve met here that are so kind and sweet. all of you deserves praise for spreading such positivity and motivating me to stay here,

↪︎ but thirdly, i’d announce that i will be on a short break on tumblr, probably a few days of refreshing my mind again, hang out with my grandparents. be me. i realized just how tired i keep getting whenever i don’t see any notifications, interactions and when i do, i just am so tired to answer them. it’s unfair to all of you. to the anons who keep calling me out for the smallest things, i don’t blame you. i know i’m an imperfect person, but they just come at the times that i am so down and everything gets messed up. my mind is such a messy place that i start to realize; i am losing who i am. i can write, but i lost the passion to run this blog anymore. if i keep going up to people’s standards without standing up for myself, isn’t that such a cruel life? i wanted to deactivate, but it would just mean i’ve given up. i’m not giving up on myself, and i hope you guys won’t too.

↪︎ lastly, i’d like to thank all the people tagged under this line. you guys made me want to always log in here and do what i have always been passionate about ever since i was ten. even with this pandemic and distance, you made my days.

@/all my character anons — each one of you made me smile at least once in my lifetime and i really really appreciate you all. even if you only came here once, twice or more, thank you. thank you so so much. i will forever be grateful of each and every one of you.

@liliannyah — nia, honey, baby, my soulmate, my sister from another mother, even if we only met a month ago (wait was it a month or two?), talking to you had always made me smile. you have no idea how thankful i am that i met you and how i always look forward in chatting you. i love you with my whole heart. if we ever meet each other in japan, i’ll let you meet my future spouse and treat you sjsjns

@kuroolongtea — hi jin! i never call you any endearments bc i saw in one of your about me’s that you’d rather be called your name hehe i always take note of that :D also, i’d like to thank you for being really really kind to me and acted like an older irl friend tho you’re indeed older than me ahhaha. you, jin, are one of the most treasured friends in this app. thank you for listening to my rants and even when i broke down. i’ll always be grateful of you. i love you so much, i wish you always the best, miss jin!

@brinthie — hi brin bb!! we haven’t been talking lately but remember that i am always here for you and that i will forever remain in debt of you. because of you, i am here on tumblr. your comments on my ao3? it really pushed me to write here, and ohgod i am still surprised that you, the writer of the ao3 collection i literally binged for a lot of days, was the one who i’ve talked to almost everyday? it’s fate honey haha. let’s see each other when we can irl :D i love you forever, have a great 2021!

@deephasoceanmagic — deep baby honestly i was so shy to interact at first but omg you’re like so so so sweet and kind and i just love you so so much! let us only child’s stick together ok?? also, i’m sorry i haven’t been checking up on you for awhile but i’m always here for you ok?? if you’re feeling lonely, i’m just one chat away!

@elysianslove — sal!! you are my favorite author here and i am so glad to have been talking to you aaaa i love you so much and this is to more interactions & convos with you in the future <3 love you so much honey !!

@minibobabottle @tinytravelerkitten @giyuus-wife — you guys have my gratefulness and my heart. thank you thank you thank you always for checking up on me and making me feel special🥺🥺 kieran, ai, wifey mia, i am touched that you always check up on me daily !!!!! you guys have no idea how thankful i am for that. i promise to be good to you guys🥺🥺🥺 i love you <3

@olsenholic @animatedarchives @basketofgoldie @owlywrites @ushi-please @bokoutoe @solstxces @mrs-kuroojinguji @todominica @oikaw-ugh @kawaiinishii @tsuhika @amoroushero @hajimine — hello lovelies !! you guys are probably one of those whom i interact the most in here and i would like to say: you guys are SPECIAL and i am so happy to have the opportunity to meet all of you. i hope we could be closer and i promise to have your backs always <3 i’m here for all of you, i’m literally just one chat/ask away !! i love you all~

@osamuskitten @xxacatalepsy @lyssors — hey babies thanks so much for checking up on me and for the character anon interactions🥺 im so honored that you chose to be a character anon for me and i hope you had fun rp-ing with me👉🏼👈🏼 til next time !! ilysm~

@unlasting @sunakissses @flairlust @yamagucji @katsukichu @gg9183 @prettysetterbaby @bimbobabeyy @paradise-creator @necr0misis @bokutosworld @ordinary-ace @iwas-angel @oikawasbliss @iwaisa @unloviing — hello!!! even if we just met like almost recently and it’s really nice to meet you all!! my asks/dms are always always welcome! plus, don’t mind me stopping by your asks too because i do that often esp if i see you on my dash hehe

(part two here but they have the same content anyway so there’s no need to see it.)

also, for any of you who’s reading this, I LOVE YOU. always stay safe, hydrated, and having a decent meal daily <3 wishing you all to have a lovely day/week/year! for anyone who’d like to know my discord, it’s kengela#1783 !! do tell me thru dm’s tho if you’re sending a request so that i’ll know who you are hahah

#i was supposedly posting this tomorrow but #i need to log off and delete tumblr tonight #goodbye for awhile #i’m so tired #i think i need to rest

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vroenis · 3 years

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Part 2

This is part 1.

Can you tell how tired I was getting by the end? This is life under meds, but given the other benefits (I think?), I’ll take it for now.

When I woke up the next morning, I had a whole lot I was thinking about and it’s stuff I want to say given I said a lot, but didn’t cover this stuff. I’m still happy with part 1, I think that’s just how I write, moving from subject to subject more or less organically and it does show me to more unstructured even if there is a vague plan for how I want the piece to go.

Anyway let’s get going.

As always, mild spoilers for well, everything. If you haven’t seen this stuff and are mildly interested in watching them then ah, you may have a lot of catching up to do. I don’t think I’ll drop any real hard spoilers for anything but you never know.

Ghost In The Shell is an Outsider story

There are whole stacks of lore you could dive into with Stand Alone Complex in particular, with Motoko having been in an aircraft accident and getting her first shell (cyber-body) at a very early age, what that means, the thing with Kuze (avoiding spoilers here), and the extended cast - not that Paz, Boma and even Ishikawa get a whole lot of time anyway - but it’s not really that important.

Looking at just Mamoru Oshii’s 1995 film, and even more-so his 2004 film Innocence (not really a sequel but usually regarded as such), the narratives cast the characters very much as Outsiders. In the first film, Section 9 is already at odds with the government in general and while it’s subtle, Aramaki as a department head is certainly different from his contemporaries, even if we don’t see much of it - again, so much more of this in Stand Alone Complex. Motoko’s early conversation with Togusa in the first film is probably the most telling as far as playing it loud. She speaks in pragmatic terms to why he’s there, but this is a precursor to what will ultimately transpire for herself at the conclusion of the film, something very intentionally written into the film. Batou is also an Outsider in more ways than one, not only in the role he plays in the department but in the very clear personal boundary between him and Motoko. There are boundaries between Batou and everyone and they become more apparent in the second film. Togusa is easy pickings so I’ll leave him alone, suffice to say if the film needs one, he’s the audience’s window of ignorance which is why he’s discarded so willingly half way in. He gets his time in the spotlight in Stand Alone Complex and it’s pretty amazing.

As for Motoko... I admit it is difficult separating my understanding of her character from Stand Alone Complex and attempting to just isolate what’s shown of her in the first film but I’ll try.

I mentioned the film’s centrepiece montage in my previous journal, in which we might say Motoko is the centrepiece but if so, she probably shares it with the city itself, and I feel much more is being said about the two together rather than separated simultaneously. This would be one of the first indications of Motoko’s sense of identity, of otherness, isolation, questioning. Again the scene that plays it most loud would be diving on the boat and her speech to Batou. There are other moments tho; single frames of her face, looks, movements that are lingered on, I feel like Oshii is constantly telling us about her and what she’s going to do, but more important than that, why she’s going to do it and how she feels.

Ghost in the Shell is a film about great emotion, and not like I’d know because it’s been a long time since I’ve looked into the discourse around it, but I suspect no-one really talks about it as a film about feelings.

I realise these days I talk more and more about moods and art being mood pieces. I labelled my Instagram account as being “A catalogue of moods” and I’m very fond of the use of the word in vernacular. It might seem flippant but it’s immensely empowered, especially for me as an individual when I understand my moods and can translate them into, via and thru art. I do appreciate many struggle with Oshii’s cinematic language as it can appear cold and detached and that’s fine, but it’s anything but for me - it’s immensely emotionally charged, it just appears differently to what audiences are perhaps accustomed to seeing. It’s a different language that perhaps takes time to learn, but it’s all there.

This couldn’t become more evident than in Innocence (the Ghost in the Shell 2 moniker I think was a western addendum). Batou takes centre stage and is immediately presented as bluntly as possible as an Outsider, reaffirmed later by Aramaki who also cements Togusa’s position in limbo.

I should pause and say that within the GitS canon, I feel Togusa is definitely embraced by Section 9, so he’s not wholly an Outsider to the department, but for obvious reasons, he doesn’t fully share all of their daily or philosophical concerns - hence not wholly. He would also definitely be an Outsider to most other members of the force after joining Section 9, but unfortunately I’m not here to love Togusa, poor guy - I feel like he’s always a bit unloved. Someone write a giant essay in service to his greatness. He actually is great.

But I adore Batou in Innocence. I love his story, his struggle, his emotion. I love how present Motoko is without ever appearing on screen and then when she does, the impact she has on everything, especially with the lines she delivers, one of which I quoted to open the last journal. Batou is in many ways a shadow of what Motoko was and is/has become, just in physical form, mirroring her in a real world manifestation with the natural physical limitations that comes with.

For some reason I feel like I need to inject a comment about Batou putting the jacket/vest on Motoko’s body. I don’t know if people perceive this as an act of masculine modesty but it’s not how I read it. I did stumble on this action for years but as I began to interpret the films as Outsider stories, I realised that he does this as an act of inclusion, and that Motoko consents, permits him to and doesn’t immediately react with violence or technological recourse we know she is well capable of, indicates it’s mutual. Their inclusion isn’t just about the boundaries of the Section 9 department but extends beyond that, an inner circle that may only contain the two of them - inside which there are still boundaries between them Batou can never cross. Those boundaries become infinitely more apparent after the final events of the first film, and the second film effectively is all about how he feels about them. He is an ultimate Outsider, but so is Motoko in the state she now is in.

Section 9 is a department of stray dogs. Individuals who haven’t quite fit in where they belong, and found belonging with one another. Then, after a time, one of them moves on - at the conclusion of the first film, and then another feels an almost permanent and ultimate sense of separation - more or less the duration of the second film.

Ghost in the Shell isn’t about technology and sentience and hacking and corporations at all. It’s about loneliness and belonging and acceptance and affection. It’s about how that feels.

I’m Not Sure Why People Struggle With David Lynch Films

I need to stop talking about anime. Honestly I looked at the list at the start of the last journal and thought hell yea Sky Crawlers, Jin-Roh, Haibane Renmei and Lain let’s unpack some shit! but honestly I’ll run out of time and I should really draw from a variety of mediums and sources.

OK I’m not being facetious when I say Lynch’s films are fairly straight-forward narrative-wise. Again, it’s hard for me to position myself in a place where I’m not into the stuff I’m into and maybe that’s what gives me the cinematic language familiarity to parse them but that just sounds like wanker bullshit to me. I don’t mind if folks don’t like Lynch films, that’s fine. But they aren’t difficult.

So in the context of everything else, even on that short list on the last journal, plus how I keep trying to shift the discussion of works from the pragmatic reading of them to an emotional reading of them from a mood perspective, I feel as tho the same process can be applied to Lynch. So much about his films are about how they make you feel, or I’ll say - how they make *me* feel. It might be grandiose to assume I’m feeling the correct emotion, that these are the moods that David Lynch himself is attempting to create and evoke and thus, I am interpreting them correctly but hey - I enjoy the hell out of the films, feel I understand them and watch them over and over again so that’s all I’m basing it on.

That’s not to say there are things I dismiss as meaningless or that I don’t understand in his films, it’s just that I don’t have to parse them immediately at first watch and perhaps that’s the audience’s problem. I don’t know if reverse-diagnosis is appropriate but looking at how much hand-holding there is in other directors’ films might be just as telling. I mean I saw Nolan’s Tenet and was about the least confusing thing I’d ever seen in my life but apparently *that* confused people, and you know hey that’s fair I guess, but I mean Nolan did a whooooole lot of audience hand-holding in that film, I mean, the dialogue was terrible. There was so much unnecessary exposition, which I generally find in all of his films, so if an audience can’t follow that then OK sure, Lynch is going to be a problem.

The thing is popcorn cinema is totally OK. I watch it. I really love it, I’ve written about it before, it’s good Industry. There’s a lot of great creativity in popular cinema, I don’t at all think poorly of it and I love seeing a really well produced, Hollywood picture... but I guess if that’s all you consume, and I guess if folks’ short-format episodic media (aka series - think Netflix, HVO etc.) is more or less to the same standard, then it begins to make sense that anything outside of that isn’t going to make sense.

Long story short - Lynch films tell simple stories where the feeling of the film is as important as the narrative of the film. To understand the story, you have to understand the feeling, and vice-versa.

Surprise surprise, it turns out independent and deemed “fringe” film-makers... aka Outsiders... make films about Outsiders.

Now I wouldn’t know if any of the Marvel films thematically are about Outsiders or Outsider culture, they probably are and very loudly at that, but the reason I’ve never included one in my catalogue of moods is they all read the same way. Not only are Marvel films mostly indistinct from one other to me, they’re also mostly indistinct from much of popular culture in general. That doesn’t make them bad, some of them still have some pretty awesome stunts, visfx, even parts of the narratives, funny jokes etc. in them, but on the whole they’re not useful to me as things I deem truly valuable in the long-term.

It’s OK, I’m not at all going to lament the proliferation of Marvel films, a lot of them have been pretty cool and they keep people in work. Meow meow meow “the death of cinema” mate, sure - I find it more difficult to find the sorts of films I like but that’s always been the case. Humans will do what they do, it’s not a read on cinema, it’s about being an Outsider and what that’s all about. True, maybe weird shit like Lynch and Noe might be more difficult to make, but the weird-indie corner was also dominated by white men and that needs to change, so who knows what the future holds.

Can you detect the point at which I took my meds and started getting tired?

Ghost in the Shell // Innocence // What We Want // What We’re Left With

Growing up as an Outsider, I feel as tho the first Ghost in the Shell film carries the weight of isolation, questions of identity and belonging, ultimately of acceptance, empowerment and liberation. Then Innocence brings to bear very similar moods but states that things may not necessarily change for the better, they simply change state. I love that in both narratives, the main texts of hacking or corrupt corporations, crime etc. are the least common denominators and barely relevant to heart of the films. I think about the theme of icons in Innocence, icons operatively being the dolls throughout the film, and the final image of Togusa’s daughter’s gift. As humans we assume we’re to take the position of biological humanity as representative of sentience, taking moral priority over all other beings. Earlier in the film we think Togusa is in limbo, but at the conclusion Motoko asks the question, or perhaps states that perhaps we’re all in limbo together.

I think that’s a significant part of what growing up as and being an Outsider is like, what it feels like. Christians have this saying about “living in the world but not of the world” (derived from a bible verse) and honestly I don’t think they know what it means because they just operate like a cult, but I think queers and folks with long term mental health conditions have a better idea. We are pushed out to the fringes of our social groups from an early age, long before we know or understand what’s different about us. Our peers and the adults around us do this to us because their social behaviours are so well hard-coded, even they may not even know precisely what’s different about us, they just do - and they’re right. We are different. And they don’t accept us.

Maybe I am starting to get a little more upset that weird/different art is becoming more difficult to fund and make, because it’s for us, for me. It speaks to me. You already have so much, and representation and inclusion is so important. I don’t just need queer cinema, I need weird cinema, I need moods. I need quiet, introspective, pensive, reflective, Outsider moods.

I still feel like an Outsider. I have a few people who understand more about me, but I don’t think I have a place, not in a real sense. I have never felt that. Art is one of the few places I feel any connection with anything, and connecting with people is a very odd thing to consider - honestly, I actually would really like to connect with people but the unique combination of being queer *and* autistic comorbid with bipolar makes it really tough, more difficult the older I get. And now all you want to do is fund Marvel movies. I can’t feed off of that.

I’m getting tired, I’m not making any sense. It’s time for bed.

#2021 #chrono #ghost in the shell #innocence ghost in the shell #outsider culture #outsider #queer #queer culture

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thezeekrecord · 3 years

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hi im waiting for pain meds to kick in before i continue sleeping so im gonna sit here and talk about the intents behind character arcs in good afternoon good evening and goodnight ok i try not to talk about it like this Too much but hey it's fanfiction why not

so like. essentially the big overarching theme was obv supposed to be the subjectivity of reality and what it meant for themselves and their relationships

for gordon especially the game meant a lot about who he is/who he gets to be or wants to be, the idea of being a player character and second guessing your own intent was something i was excited to write as i was first starting to plan this fic out. i wanted him to struggle a Lot retroactively with reality when it felt like everyone else had long since accepted it had been a game, and ultimately that was supposed to play into his relationship with benry a lot. also obviously a huge thing for him was Trauma, we all love a good gordon freeman trauma hurt/comfort moment right? i wanted to write sort of a backwards progression for him when they were in hl2, like i tried to reverse the script a little between gordon and benry where he just. he was doing his best contrary to what happened with benry and was Worried because that's very gordon, but him just laughing thru a lot of shit and not taking it entirely seriously like he should, not even paying attention to how bad he needed a break because Well It’s Not Real Right? meanwhile benry.....well i gotta back up for him for a bit

benry i feel like i struggled a bit with, i wish id written him Slightly different in the beginning at least but ehh. idk there's a lot of content out there for benry that i feel like skips over the idea that he hurt everyone (im Not getting into disc horse over this even though i have a lot of thoughts about it) but it was important to me to write an arc of him really trying to reach out? i think ppl fall into the trap of putting "gordon has to understand benry" before "benry has to make an effort to be understood". i think it's easier to project and say you want the others to put in that effort on his behalf, but the truth is i think that effort has to be very mutual! i liked writing an arc for him where he doesn't even understand himself very well and had to give his relationships time. i wish id had more time for it, but trying to juggle so many character arcs was Really tough lol. but regarding my choice w/the hl2 part, i do wish id had the opportunity to have him there More, i entertained the idea of him being powerless but with gordon the whole time or smth, but plotwise it just wasn't working out And it felt relevant for him to have that whole experience with the nihilanth. i wanted him to have the reverse experience to gordon was having, suddenly realizing there were actual consequences and he could die, essentially living out what gordon felt was his experience in hl1 fighting benry even if ultimately things would have been ok, bc he didn’t Know or register that at the time?

Whoa 2 Paragraphs For Benry anyway after that, even tho i took his powers away temporarily for adding context to the others' perceived experience and fpr worldbuilding/adding stakes to the situation, i don't really like story arcs for redeeming characters where their arc is represented by having powers taken away Permanently. like "its ok guys i just literally can't do it anymore so i won't" u know?? it doesn't feel like Enough. i wanted to show something where he took back his powers and what made him who he was and used it for Good. i think that rounds things out a little better? it was important that everyone, especially gordon, got to see him taking back the powers he used to attack them in the game and using them to protect them instead. it was a part of his identity, being like Not Human, and played v importantly into his relationship with tommy

with tommy i feel like. ok with everyone in gagegn i feel like i was deliberately mischaracterizing a bit for the sake of the story because My City Now, but i think tommy got hit pretty hard ajchdjshg i just wanted a very particular arc from him....so he was Very serious and i wish id worked in more moments where he got to be like, comedically just super wrong about something or just generally silly but Oh Well. anyway tommy's experience with knowing it's not real was very much implied to be a lifelong struggle and i was Heavily projecting, like, i love the unreality elements in hlvrai because [dissociates and gets delusions about nothing being real] and i just wanted to leave it implied he's always had a hard time with feeling like he Knows it's not real, and still just. Keeps Chugging Along bc what else can u do? also this is a very particular thing but i feel like with psychotic characters in media there's always a question of "but what if....the whole thing isn't real....." but i wanted to write an arc for a character where delusions Prepared them for something in a sense? i could go on for a whole other post about the dsm and psychosis representation etc etc but he was just. Prepared for knowing it wasn't real. my experience i projected heavily onto the story was acceptance of such a weird, abstract concept, and just trying to have a fulfilling life/relationships anyway because what would trying to unravel it all just for the sake of it do?

and that plays into how i wrote gman as essentially a foil to tommy, but im almost done with a ""post-canon"" fic about him so i won't say much on that (i think the fic caters to only me specifically maybe but i'll still post it ajfjsfh) but regarding tommy's whole thing with g-man, it was Very intentional for things to feel sort of unresolved and for him to still second guess himself. it was important to me that way idk, i feel like that's more true to life?

i WISH i had more time and ideas for darnold though.... he's another case of my projecting definitely, and i actually almost had Him go into nova prospekt with alyx instead of gordon and reappear at exactly the right moment for dramatic effect, but i wanted an arc for him where he discovered he wanted more than anything else to be with the science team and to have him disappear kinda contradicted that :/

im running out of steam to keep typing this. well with dr coomer i feel like that was another wild thing that was me projecting again ajdjajfjd i just love a good fantasy DID/OSDD situation (NEVER SEES THIS FOR REAL) and i wanted a little extra flavor with the clones to sort of mirror bubby's struggles

and with bubby. like ok with the prototypes and vortigaunt friend, i had the idea maybe a prototype survived the resonance cascade and had been hiding that whole time and bubby actually finds and rescues him? but that felt too weird and complicated for everything else going on so i threw in a vortigaunt as an emotional standin for him. the reason i wrote bubby resentful to his prototypes at first is one of those things i only introduced to represent part of his story arc and not necessarily a headcanon, i love the idea he considers them family and likes them for the most part! it was just something to slowly represent him growing past black mesa without just Saying it

it's like 5am. lastly.....the player......just like gman was to tommy, i did my best to write the player as almost an opposite to gordon even if i tried to make them as similar as possible. something i rarely see is exploring how complicated i feel like it would Actually make things to have a player, outside your game, trying to be your friend? i understand why ppl don't go this route and i didn't go too hard on it, but i mean, he's this guy who has control over your world and is living outside of it, and views all your life hardships as trivial in comparison to his own? i wanted to represent this in only small ways, because i thought it made sense to show him genuinely making an effort, but in moments like when he was talking to benry and when he talked to gordon, i wanted to show him just. Trying but still not taking it as seriously as he should, he gets Mad but he's treating it like a video game still! it's a power imbalance, and if nobody else was going to explore that then i would afhjchkg

my choice getting back to tommy and benry at the end.... maybe i wrote it a little angstier than i should have but that's something I'm glad i ran with, i was nervous ppl wouldn't like it but. having that flash forward was important for tommy especially after he fought with gman about like, the significance of short lives. he still had benry who i think i could have tried to show being a lot happier to be there to drive the point home, he's just kinda deadpan and maintained him that way but genuinely i wanted him to be happy to explore space with tommy! they had a weird beginning to their friendship, and solidarity of being partly aliens in their own regards, and they were out there finally exploring those aspects of themselves, PLUS

they were very literally just. freely exploring their reality. they got to do Anything without it having to be established by the player! that was supposed to be something Good, they were happy to have that freedom and liked seeing new things with each other that even the player probably never dreamed of. it's Their World, they can do and see anything, even their goal of finding an equivalent of where gman could have come from was kinda just something to slowly work towards to keep them going in some vague direction. the primary goal was to just have a good time

anyway this story was the longest thing ive ever written in my life idk what came over me lol

#zeek speaks

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advernia · 4 years

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hi hi!!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ mmm… i try not to expect something out of an unreleased route (bc most of the time i am horribly betrayed lmao) but there are loads of stuff i hope to see! forgive me for being rambly tho haha!

mousse. i actually have no idea what to expect from his route but what i do know is that his current position as a diplomat bothers me in a lot of ways lmao! but anyway… naturally we should be getting details on why he left the red army in the first place, so maybe on that side i do wish we’d get more insight on the workings of the red army, i guess? not that i’m expecting something super detailed or anything (tho it would be great if cybird feeds us with details), but for starters, maybe something more concerning the chosen bloodline - for instance, how did it come to be that for the red army, those thirteen certain families are the only ones strictly allowed to fill in that one position in the chosen ranks??? do relatives or family branch members count??? additionally, is mousse the first case of someone stepping down / refusing to take over their designated rank??? i’d like to think that he isn’t, but then again i maybe wrong???

alternatively… maybe mousse’s route could fill in some bit of cradle lore too? lmao i mean he is a diplomat and alice is a ‘visitor’, so he’s the best suitor to fit in the role of a tour guide. maybe a little more idea on how cradle works as an actual country, bc god i can’t even imagine how it functions properly. who knows, maybe he actually knows about that abandoned building in the forbidden forest + why it’s there in the first place. maybe he can actually elaborate the background of the goddamn 500 year conflict. if he actually does, bless my soul.

on relationships… while mousse is neutral but a former red, i imagine we’ll be seeing more of the ra guys rather than the ba, maybe… that’s fine with me since i’m interested in learning more about his relationship with lancelot, and maybe how he interacts with kyle + edgar since we already have a general idea of how he is around jonah + zero. but since the neutral faction has increased now, i’d like it if most of his interactions would involve more of his fellow neutrals. they need more screentime.

and finally, romantically… man, that ‘love at first sight… or is it?’ bit on his profile really gets me. oh, i will be ridiculously happy if that whole ‘love at first sight’ thing is interpreted as just sheer interest on mousse’s part. he’s in love with the visitor from the land of reason, with alice the second who hails from the same land as the first alice. he’s in love with the thought of her, a person who lives in a world so different from his own…but has he ever seen alice the second as the woman she is, as another human being??? this is probably unlikely to happen as mousse doesn’t seem too cold as a character but OOOOHHHHH I’D LOVE TO HAVE A TWIST（○□○）

tl;dr: a focus on red army history / more expository stuff on cradle. a toss between mousse interacting with the ra + neutrals, preferrably more of the latter. if cybird pulls a surprising twist / interpretation on mousse’s ‘love at first sight’ for alice, then i will LIVE.

dean. for starters, i’d like a little more understanding on how the boarding school he works in operates haha… i get it’s open to all regardless of status (red/black, noble/commoner maybe?), but what type of school is it, is it a regular one or a military academy of sorts??? if it’s a military type, to what extent are the students trained - basic combat/magic or are there advanced classes or all that shebang??? from what age are you able to enroll in it??? who runs it??? probably someone from the neutral faction / government itself but seriously speaking, is this the only school available in cradle??? if you’re wondering why i think that, i just find it odd that two different factions that have been in constant conflict still send their kids to study in that one school where anyone and everyone is accepted… i’d imagine the red side isn’t so happy about this more than the black side is, but maaaybe it’s a government-mandated / treaty / pact thing??? tbh i’m still on the fence on those ideas since there’s a lot more questions that would arise from that but… yeah. just… details, pls _(:3」∠)_ oh, more bonus points if we get more info about the day everything went dark!

anyway… dean being a professor appears underwhelming but it’s pretty interesting to take into account that he probably trained all(?) of them army suitors so… personally i’d be interested if there’s your teacher vs. student(s) fight scenes lmao. preferrably with dean still able to hold his own. bonus points if he taunts his opponent in the process with words like ‘i see you’ve forgotten your fundamentals’ or something haha! even more bonus points if we get dean/alice fighting the forces of evil magic disciples together!!! oh, that would be so good.

it would be fun if dean’s the type to subtly poke his former students with their dark history past mistakes when he sees them / needs them to settle down or smth. maybe he has dirt on someone like luka (and no, it isn’t about him feeding birds on the rooftop lmao). maybe he’s the only one who can make sirius & lancelot feel nervous easily, holy shit. but again, as dean’s a neutral, i’d prefer his interactions to involve more of his fellow neutrals. especially dalim. though that might be a given considering their relationship. i will greatly appreciate seeing more of the tweedle twins dynamic. even more if it turns out that the main conflict/antagonist of their individual routes happens not to be amon, but their other half and it’s not because of alice. AHHHHHH ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ )

idk what dynamic they’re gonna shoot for with dean & alice, but i do hope it doesn’t give off your ‘teacher-student’ vibes aha…… considering how dean’s personality appears so far though, i’d like to think that a slow burn would be fitting for them…? maybe something similar to lancelot’s where the conflict is given more focus than the romance itself.

tl;dr: background on the school + the day everything went dark. teacher vs. student(s) fight scenes + dean/alice fighting duo. dean being lolz evulz to his former students. tweedle twins drama, bless. if dean/alice gives off the teacher-student dynamic, well… can’t say i didn’t see that coming.

dalim. oh boy, while i’m trying hard not to expect anything for now, i can’t help but pray for something good with dalim. i think he has the best potential among the new three since he’s only (or first) suitor in an actual antagonistic position - he knows it, he accepts it, and he’s still going with it. if cybird handwaves a redemption arc for him thru the flimsy power of kira-kira labu (or friendship), i will be very, very, very disappointed. seriously.

anyway, there’s a lot of question marks surrounding him that i want answered but of course, more dirt on the magic tower. perhaps whatever details about the tower that they failed to address in harr’s route they can add + elaborate here, though i really wouldn’t mind knowing more nitty gritty on the human experimentation bit. then there’s the matter about the regression magic he developed. though maybe all before that detailed stuff, maybe some background about how dalim came to be a magic disciple would be good. and how and why he manages a pub on the side. origin stories are a must.

not gonna lie though - i’m more interested in his social life, his relationship with amon the first priority. how long has he known amon, did he approach amon or was it the other way around, when did he start serving amon, do amon and he have similar goals, how ‘loyal’ is he to amon, was he already amon’s subordinate when amon killed his father, did he help amon kill his father, why does he even serve such a guy in the first place... yeah, all that and more. hopefully those are going to be addressed. then there’s dean... if dalim’s goals + ambitions are purely for the sake of his older twin, i’m gonna cry a river. even moreso if his determination is so strong that he still chooses dean over his kira-kira labu for alice. now if cybird really does pull that off, consider me IMPRESSED. HOT DAMN.

them aside, in general his relationship tree seems complicated... he has strained relationships with harr + zero + loki + oliver, though it seems that he and harr still can seem to hold ‘conversations’ with each other... lancelot + seth don’t like him... idk if he was already involved in the day everything went dark operation, but if he was then ray + fenrir would definitely knock him down... lmao that’s a lot of hostility there, and that’s as dalim. as dum, zero + ray + fenrir + oliver are still wary of him haha! well, i hope his interactions with the rest of the cast will fare better / some of those relationships may not be as strained as they seem???

and the romance... since dalim’s human experimentation is a step farther and darker than edgar’s history of murder, there is no way you are going to make me swallow the possibility that he could go down the same route and be pardoned by cradle through trial. or in any way going to be redeemed + forgiven / set free quickly. no, i won’t accept it either if amon does something similar to a claudius and suddenly decides to say that he pulled dalim along for the ride (rather, i’d be furious). ends i’ll accept are dalim himself demanding for or receiving proper judgement for his actions. the feelings between dalim and alice are there & acknowledged, sure, but sadly regardless of what ending they physically cannot be together.

too angsty??? maybe it is, since i personally feel that his situation has the potential to feel more... well, military/war-fitting than the other suitors. i’m not hoping for that scenario simply because i want that extreme angst + drama, but rather because it somehow doesn’t sit right with me that someone so goal-focused, someone who seems to have walked down the wrong path of his own volition, who stated himself that he isn’t human and won’t let ethics stand in his way (zero’s route), would allow himself to be easily forgiven for all that he had done. it’s like a disservice. believe me, i like redemption arcs. but for something severe like what dalim dabbled in for what seemed like years... redemption almost sounds too kind.

i hope whatever they have planned for dalim would appear reasonable and satisfying, both to how they will portray his character and to the plot of his route as a whole.

tl;dr: more magic tower info. his history with amon. tweedle twins drama, bless. more insight into his relationship tree. cybird, dalim/alice’s foe yay has potential, pls don’t mess it up.....

#askdfghjl #the read more break went into the ask bubble like???#it looked odd so i transferred my response to text instead #i'm alright thinking about mousse + dean but dalim... ooooh boy #this ask made me laugh bc i recalled that some friends and i talked about something like this last year and it was messy #this post isn't any better than those convos lmaooo but i'd like to say i tried #i have other backlogs but i'm too excited to be home + finally sleep in my bed again BLESS

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icharchivist · 3 years

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🔪🔪🔪 me towards 1) the people who were trying to beat up juza & banri and 2) the person who ripped up yuki’s lovely costumes.... (it’s taichi, isn’t it? I’m like 99% convinced but I’ll just have to wait until I unlock the next set of chapters I guess!) anyways this shit is personal lol since juza & yuki are... probably my favs haha. I think the portrait mechanic is a super nice thing for autumn troupe bc everyone’s got like. a pretty long backstory! rly gives everyone a lot of depth I think. cant wait for when “portrait: taichi nanao” pops up haha. I’m super excited for how things are gonna go down!! side note is the theater useful for anything except for like watching the plays? i haven’t gone thru them yet and was wondering if it’d be worth it. and side side note ur right let juza crossdress 2k21!!

DKLFJD TOTALLY VALID. 🔪🔪 🔪🔪

I’m not saying anything of course, but i hope you’ll enjoy the remaining of Autumn ;O

Juza and Yuki are amazing favs to have!! i love them so much both of them!! they’re so good 😭😭😭😭

yeah!! i really love the portrait mechanism for them! i think in a way it gives also a very autumn-y feeling. I feel like the troupes, at least in their intro chapter, kinda embody some ideas we can have from seasons, like the summer fun of hanging out with your friends in energic moments of summer if that makes sense? Autumn gives me this moody feeling of when the fun is over and you look back with regret on what you could have done, this sort of things, and i feel like the portraits work beautifully with showing that, especially since all of them are pretty reserved when it comes to that. (tho ofc, and i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that, the Troupe can find its own brand of fun as they bloom together so o7 saved) (and i just really love how it makes each seasons really different from one another)

As for the theaters, you unlock rewards upon first watching them (i think it’s 5 diamonds?), and if you watch it once and clear the full Main Story Practice at 100% Crown/Flair, you get to unlock a badge and the duet associated with each play (a very very very short version of each duet play when you play through “Show”). When you play the Theater with the original cast*, you can unlock an instrumental of each song, with a different arrangement. The songs are accessible in Menu > Jukebox, in which you can listen to the duets (tho they’re about 2mins long, compared to the 4mins long they all last in the albums/spotify), and set 3 of them as your favs that will end up playing in the background of the game instead of the iddle music.

(*the first play have an all R cast that you can get easily in gacha so this is easy for there, but every other plays can only be completed with a limited R gacha that is live when the events associated with the banner is live. As a result it’s nearly impossible to unlock the “all cast” Theater for any others plays unless you participated to the gacha banner when it was live/when it re-runs.)

During play events (NORMALLY the next one should be in 3/4 events so no need to worry too hard about it now), you get specific theater tickets only available during the runtime of the events, and playing the theater gives you supplementary rankup points (and even more so if you play with the whole cast). So only in event it’s worth playing a lot of theater.

In general though? yeah you kinda neglect the Theaters, you just clear them once generally when you’re done with practice (or at least when you’ve seen the play in game) to unlock the song.

I also think it’s supposed to be helpful for the event plays, since most people cannot read the event stories, and can mayyybe piece together some stuff from reading the N backstages of the characters from the play, the flairs, and at least they can see what is the play they pulled with those characters without knowing of the story happening in the event story. so it works for people who haven’t been able to read the events to get at least a vaaague idea of what play they were doing in those events. (but anyway i’ll still send you the events recording)

So yeah it’s mostly for the rewards and completionist, and if you cannot unlock the stories associated with those plays it fills you in a bit on what was going on from an audience perspective. They’re worth playing at least once in general but nothing to worry too much about, except if you intend to rank up on play events when they’ll come around.

Hope it clears things up :3c

And yes please let Juza crossdress he wants to :( com’on Tsuzuru be nice!!

take care and have fun with the rest of autumn ;O

#ichafantalks a3 #sonnets-of-beauty #ichareply

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sailoryue · 5 years

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Howlin' for you

(based on a prompt by @merelypassingtime Eddie has a dark secret he's been keeping from Venom for a few months, one he's absolutely ashamed. When he is no longer able to keep it, how will that effect their bond?

.*-*-*-*-*-*

Symbiosis was generally a two-way street. Venom needed Eddie to survive on Earth, and while Eddie did not need Venom to survive normally, Venom allowed Eddie use of his abilities to take out bad guys. Such as the thug that used to extort Mrs Chen. Between them, there were no secrets. Save for one.

*-*-*-*-*

Shortly after Venom had fully recovered from the explosion, nearly a month after the event itself, Eddie’s demeanor had changed and he had pretty much begged Venom for this one secret.

“Please, V,” he had started. “I don’t ask for a lot. Just please let me have this one.”

At the time, Venom had not understood. And even now, he still did not understand. But in the end, he allowed Eddie his secret. Sure, if he wanted, he could just pull the thoughts by force, much like how he did in the beginning of their union. And Eddie knew it. But things were different now. There was trust; and Venom VALUED trust, unlike most of his species. No matter how curious he was, he would not break that trust.

The whole secret thing wasn't all bad. One full day a month he got to be with Annie, and Venom loved her very much. Hell he even eventually grew to tolerate and even like Dan. Not that he had much of a choice, given how Anne refused to allow any ill thoughts about her boyfriend.

Regardless, these once a month visits were fun. Both Anne and Dan always made sure to engage him in conversations and always had the best chocolate. Even tho he did not understand why, he eventually grew to look forward to these outings. Venom knew Anne knew the reason for these trade-offs, and tried asking her about it, but even she put her foot down and refused to give any hints. She said it wasn’t her secret to tell, and Venom accepted that. Even tho the secrets hurt.

Venom started to wonder if Eddie was getting tired of their bond. He usually got tired and edgy when they got close to the point in the month when the exchange happened, and was usually happier when he returned. He just wished that Eddie could just trust him with the reasons that he needed these breaks.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Venom never expected to ever get his wish.

One month, when it was the time Eddie usually arranged to meet with Anne for the meet-up for the switch, Venom noticed that Eddie was more on edge than usual.

Eddie had tried to get ahold of Anne for the past hour.

“Ah, finally! Annie, I’ve been trying to reach you all day. Where do you want to meet to do the exchange?”

　 “Eddie, I thought I’d told you. Dan is at a medical conference in San Diego. We’re out of town for the week.” There was a lot of background noise so Anne had to speak loudly. 　

Venom noted the spike in Eddie’s pulse. Usually he didn’t pay attention to this monthly conversation, they usually went about the same. But obviously something was different this time. 　

“But what about… my issue?” Eddie asked in a rushed voice. 　

“I’m sorry, I swear I thought I told you. Maybe its time you told Venom?” 　

Eddie let out a defeated sigh. “Yeah, maybe. Sorry to bother you then Anne. You guys enjoy your trip.”

“Good luck, Eddie.” 　

As he hung up the phone, Eddie let out a curse under his breath.

　 IS SOMETHING WRONG EDDIE?

　 Venom could feel a sense of defeat coming from Eddie as he rubbed a hand over his face.

　 “It’s…nothing V.” Eddie said with a sigh. “You were bound to find out anyways.”

　 FIND OUT WHAT?

　 Eddie’s watch went off. “Damn, we don’t have as much time as I thought.”

　 TIME FOR WHAT, EDDIE? WHAT IS GOING ON?

　 Eddie didn’t answer the question immediately, instead grabbed a set of motorcycle saddle bags and his helmet.

　 EDDIE ARE WE GOING SOMEWHERE?

　 Eddie locked up and headed down the stairs to the parking lot.

"Yeah. We have to head upstate. It’s a six hour ride. Look, V, I give you permission to look in my memories for what I do every month, where I go. Look in my memories for ‘werewolves.’ I know you’ll probably have questions, but please don’t ask them while we drive. I’ll answer them when we get to our destination.“ 　

Eddie’s request worried Venom a little, but he agreed to it. The ride was fairly uneventful. Eddie’s mind was swimming with worry. Why? What was this about a werewolf? Venom tried to find the answer, but the more he dug the more questions he ended up having. What was this all about? 　

Before long, they got to where Eddie wanted to be. He pulled off on to a trail and continued on as the road grew rougher and rougher, until Eddie had to walk the bike the rest of the way he wanted to go. Eventually they reached their destination, a clearing in the forest near a small lake.

　 The wooded area was quiet. Peaceful. Earth certainly had such beauty on it. Venom was glad they were able to prevent the invasion.

　 EDDIE, WE STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON. WE LOOKED INTO YOUR MEMORIES AND THE ONLY THING ABOUT WEREWOLVES WE COULD FIND IS FROM MOVIES AND THAT DOES NOT HELP US WITH THE BLANK SPOTS IN YOUR MEMORY WHEN WE TRIED TO FIND OUT WHY YOU COME HERE EVERY MONTH.

　 "You can’t see it? Damn, I was hoping you could tell me.” Eddie sighed as he parked the bike next to a tree, taking the keys out and hiding them in a knot. He opened one of the saddlebags, which was empty, and methodically removed his clothes, placing them in the bag. Venom knew this was almost ritual, going by what he had seen in Eddie’s memories. He had seen that every month Eddie did this, ending with placing all of his bracelets and ring on top of the pile of clothes, and closing the bag with a snap.

　 EDDIE, WHAT IS A WEREWOLF?

　 “Basically, it’s a curse. It happened when I was a kid, I was attacked by what I thought was a dog, but it was something much worse.” Eddie paused looking up at the darkening sky.

　 WE STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND, EDDIE. WHAT IS A CURSE? WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD?

　 “It means I’m going to transform. I don’t really have a choice, and there’s not enough time to really explain it. I’m sorry, V.” Eddie walked away from his stuff to the other side of the clearing. “I should have told you sooner instead of you finding out this way.” 　

Venom was beginning to feel on edge. Something felt wrong with them.

　 EDDIE? WHAT IS GOING ON?

　 “I’m about to transform. I’m sorry I never told you. I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk to you after I turn. I’ll explain in the morning, I promise I–” He trailed off into a grunt, doubling over in pain.

　 EDDIE?

　 The sun had finished setting and the moon, bright and full rose up. And for a moment, Eddie blacked out.

　 *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* 　

As far as Venom could tell, their unconsciousness lasted only a few minutes. But as their mind cleared, Venom realized that something was very wrong.

　 EDDIE??

　 There was no response. Venom could sense that while he was still IN Eddie, Eddie was very, very different. Venom took stock over their body to try to see what had happened. 　

To start, their body was no longer human. Instead it was wolf like. Venom had seen many documentaries on wolves, (what else do you do when your host needs six to eight hours of sleep at night?) and from what he could tell, Eddie was much bigger and meaner than the wolves he had seen on Animal Planet.

　 Venom tried looking into Eddie’s mind and noticed the senses were very much different. Their hearing, smell and sight were much sharper, even than their monstrous Venom form; keener than even any host Venom ever had.

　 WHAT HAPPENED TO US, EDDIE?

　 Still no response, tho venom knew that wolf-Eddie heard the question. For some reason this creature they had become would not, could not answer. Instead, they took off running, deeper into the woods. 　

Venom knew it would be futile to ask Eddie where they were going. Instead he just sat back and watched as the wolf smelled around. He didn’t try to achieve symbiosis just yet. He did not want to cause harm to Eddie. Not again. He needed to be patient and observe and take this acclimation slower, to not be detrimental towards the very different biorythms.

　 SO…WHAT NOW, EDDIE?

　 Tho the creature Eddie became made know acknowledgement of Venom, he seemed to be aware of his presense. But considering the strange voice did not seem to be a threat, it went ignored. 　

Venom soon realized that what Eddie was doing was hunting. Venom could tell just by how the creature acted. It was both similar and different to how THEY acted when they stalked bad guys, but it was more skilled.

　 LET’S SEE HOW YOU HUNT ALONE, EDDIE.

　 Venom did not broadcast the words thru the bond, not wanting to disturb his host this time. He watched in silence as the wolf-creature smelled for and stalked a prey animal in the forest. He was impressed at how quickly they found a target, a female deer that was minding its own business, and was proud at how quickly Eddie took it down.

　 YOU MAKE A VERY GOOD PREDATOR, EDDIE.

　 Given the skill at it Venom wondered if this was why Eddie wasn’t too far against their need for hunting and live prey. While they started to enjoy their meal, Venom sensed danger near. But what? 　

His got his answer really quick as a bear came out to the clearing they were in. Eddie-wolf growled at the bear that was much, much bigger than them, and the bear growled in response. Venom could sense fear and anger from Eddie as they quickly backed down and fled.

　 WHY EDDIE? WE CAN JUST AS EASILY TAKE THAT DOWN, CAN’T WE?

　 For the first time, Venom got a response to his commentary and flashes of memories came from their mind. The bear constantly attacking and stealing Eddie’s prey, and how the first time Eddie had tried to take down the bear he barely managed to get away. That allowed Venom to connect the dots on another memory. Just a few months ago, he had found Eddie returned from his 'excursions’ with bad scarring that he tried to brush off as an accident on his bike, but considering it was during Eddie’s 'secret vacations’ he didn’t look to far into it. As far as he could tell, this bear had for the past several months stolen Eddie’s prey. That won’t do at all.

　 WE CAN BE SO MUCH BETTER EDDIE. TOGETHER WE CAN TAKE DOWN THIS BEAR FOR ALWAYS STEALING.

　 Venom finally managed to finish re-bonding with Eddie and showed the wolf a beast they could be together. At most he could just feel hunger from the wolf, but also a want. A want to take down a big prey, to eat and be full. And finally agreement.

　 EXCELLENT!

　 And at that, Venom surrounded Eddie much like the first time they transformed to fight Carlton Drake’s goons. Soon the wolf was much bigger and more deadly than ever, with longer, sharper claws, and deadly teeth. There was a taste of glee and death on their mouth. There was a rush of adrenaline and elation almost, ready to take down anything. And they took off on the hunt.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Eddie slowly woke from his slumber, the sun was just starting to rise, warming the area. He felt the usual soreness he felt after his monthly transformation, no longer feeling the tiredness that usually happened right before. The transformations usually felt close to healing, even though they were extremely draining the day of. He stretched, feeling every muscle pull and every joint pop, glad to be human again and he rolled to his back so he could stare at the sky which was slowly lightening. It was only then as his mind fully came awake that he realized….

MORNING EDDIE.

Eddie sat up with a start. “Venom! You’re still here.”

WHY WOULD I NOT BE?

Eddie sighed. “It’s not that, I had no idea what the transformation would…” He trailed off looking down at his hands that he was about to rub his face on, noting the dried stiffness they had. He then looked around and noticed the destruction around them. He jumped quickly to his feet, running away from what obviously used to be a bear, shouting a curse. “What the hell happened??”

WE TOOK DOWN THE BEAR THAT KEEPS STEALING YOUR FOOD.

“You took… wait how?” Eddie walked away from the nightmare that was before him. He looked down and noted that he was also covered in this mess, so he headed towards he lake.

TOGETHER. WE FORMED OUR VENOM FORM, ALBIET IT WAS DIFFERENT IN YOUR WOLF FORM. DO YOU WANT TO SEE HOW?

Eddie held up his hands. “I’ll… take your word for it V. Thanks. That bear’s been stealing the other me’s food for a while now, according to the park rangers it migrated down from the mountains and they’ve been trying to figure how to get it back up. Guess that’s a moot point now, huh”

Eddie let out a derisive laugh as he stepped into the cool water of the lake.

EDDIE, WHAT EXACTLY IS A WEREWOLF? WE SAW US TURN INTO A WOLF LIKE CREATURE, BUT THAT WAS NOTHING LIKE THE IMAGES FROM THE HORROR MOVIES WE WATCH.

“Hmm? Oh, right. Well like I said last night, its pretty much a curse. When I was a kid, I went to a camp out with some friends. Though I wouldn’t really call them my friends, since… you know about how hard I struggled with that.” Eddie shrugged and started to wipe off the mess from the night before. “One night, I was attacked by what I had thought was an ordinary wolf. A month later I started to get really sick. And the bite wound started burning really bad. My dad of course just thought I was being a pussy about it, pretending to be sick.”

Eddie finished cleaning himself and started swimming to fully wake up.

“Luckily my sister was into monster movies and books and she had a hunch that maybe what bit me was a werewolf. She locked me in the basement on the night of the full moon. She stayed nearby just in case I WASN’T a werewolf. Fortunately my dad was drunk as usual and didn’t pay us any mind. Unfortunately she was right on her hunch.”

WE STILL DO NOT QUITE UNDERSTAND EDDIE. WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS MEAN?

Eddie walked to the edge of the pond, where he knew there was a log to sit on. “Once a month, on the night of the full moon I have to transform into that creature you saw last night. I come out here to make sure I can’t hurt anyone. If I bite anyone they would be cursed as well, and I can’t let that happen.”

WHY?

“Why?” Eddie splashed his face to cool it down. “You saw what I became, what we became. That kind of creature is far more dangerous than probably even Riot. Hell I had no idea what this would even do to us!”

US? IS THIS WHY YOU HAD US BE WITH ANNIE WHEN YOU TRANSFORMED?

Eddie sighed. “Yeah, man I didn’t know how this would effect our bond; if we would be able to handle this.” Eddie trailed off as he caught the tail end of a feeling that quickly vanished. "V…. what was that?“

IT WAS NOTHING EDDIE.

"V, were you worried that i was trying to get rid of you?”

OF COURSE NOT EDDIE.

Eddie could tell his symbiotic friend was lying.

“V… Come out. Let me see you, right here.” Eddie held his hands side by side in front of his face.

Venom formed a snake like form right where Eddie requested, his face ended up being inches from his.

“V, listen. There is nothing in this world that that could ever convince me to get rid of you. No matter how aggravating you may be, there is nothing that I would ever trade you for.”

EVEN IF SOMEHOW YOU FOUND A CURE FOR YOUR CURSE?

“Not even that, bud. And now that I know we can survive every month, there is nothing that you could do to make me get rid of you. You understand?” Eddie pulled Venom’s face towards his so their noses were pressed together

YES, EDDIE.

“Good. Now let’s get dressed and head back into town. I’m hungry for something other than bear.

SO WHEN IS THE NEXT FULL MOON?

#venom #symbrock #veddie #fic #my art

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fuck-customers · 5 years

Text

This got long, Im sorry.

I dont remember if i had posted about this here before, so here it is. Lemme tell yall about this guy who frequented my 🌮🔔

It started off fine, I suppose. Hed come in, always carrying a jug of some pinkish liquid I Really want to say is strawberry milk. Sometimes hed order a food item, mostly would get a cup for water and just sit in the lobby for a while. Which, fine whatever. Its cold out, I get it.

My coworker Maddie did not like this guy. He mumbled a lot, sat in the lobby staring at the kitchen, and just generally made her uncomfortable. I didnt get it at first, but I did after maybe the Second time I ever took this guys order.

He came in, I was on front that day so I went over to help him. He stood there mumbling, I couldnt hear him at first, I thought he was trying to order but I kept having to tell him I couldnt hear him. Hes staring at me and hes swaying in his place and leaning towards me a bit, and Im stuck here bc hes a customer. Eventually I can hear his mumbles turn into less of a jumble as he starts trying to ask me about me and shit. I keep asking what he wants to order, like a fuckin Shopkeeper npc who only has shopkeeping related dialogue. Just order Food!!!

Finally he speaks up better and says "Can I get your instagram, so I can dm you?" And Im immediately like, ah fuck. Im super uncomfortable now. But i tell him i dont have that, Im not on social media. I ask if he wants to order food or not.

He goes "Catch you later?" And I go "Well, I work here. So if you come in you'll probably see me." And he walks away. I walk away and tell my manager what happened, and GM says if another customer makes me uncomfortable , I should come get him to deal with it.

Next few times I work, this same customer comes in and I avoid interacting with him, I ask my coworkers and managers to deal with it, and I hide in the back or in the corner of my little drive thru area thats hard to see from the front counter. I refuse to help him, he made me uncomfortable.

And then one day, he comes in, and I see him so I back myself into my drive thru corner bc I dont want him to see me. I can kind of see him waiting at the counter, and from where Im at I could see him leaning over the counter trying to look at the drive thru area?? and I think "Thats weird why are you doing that!!" So I go on the headset and ask my manager if she can help him. Our lobby cashier is dropping food, so it would have been up to me. Manager does, yaay.

My coworker (17 y/o), is the lobby cashier that day. I'll call her.. Gigi... I wave her over and tell her that I saw him leaning over the counter, and she tells me he always makes her uncomfortable.

His food comes out and I see him again just waiting at the counter with his food, and I think his order might be wrong, so I gesture at Gigi that a customer might need her. I watch her go up to talk to him, and she looks extreme uncomfortable and confused. And then I see him hand her a card, and she looks a little scared. She comes over to me as this guy walks away.

Gigi tells me that he gave her a business card and said "If youre free later, you should come hangout." She shows me the card, it had a number written on it, and we google the name of the business and its. Either a hotel or a local apartment complex, both popped up in my search. So I assume the number he wrote was his room number. I tell my manager immediately over the headset, and i keep the card to give to our GM.

The Very Next day, same guy comes in. GM (lets call him Leo) is there, and Gigi and I have told him about the card. Leo tells this guy to leave, and he does. We figure its the end of that.

Two hours after this though, my drive thru line is busy af. A couple times, I would leave my window open between cars pulling away/pulling up so it would be easier for me to just Be Ready to greet them.

A car pulls away, and I am moving to close the window, but suddenly I see this Same Customer that got Kicked Out RUN UP TO MY WINDOW??? And he puts his hands on the window sill so I cant close it, and hes leaning in towards me, and he starts trying to talk to me. And I am. Shaking and Fucking Scared. I back the fuck up and call for Leo for help.

Leo comes up Immediately and tells him to leave. This customers expression changes So Fast, and he speaks up and he sounds Mad and he says "Oh its You." Leo shoos him away and slams the window in his face, and doesnt move until this guy walks away. He checks on me to see if Im okay, and Im on the verge of Panicking because that scared the Fuck out of me!!!! Leo helps me on drive thru until im less shaken, my next customer remarks how Fucking Weird that guy was.

Im scared the entire time Im dealing with the line, Im fuckin looking around outside before I open my window and as Im cashing people out. Im keeping my window closed between interactions with customers. And then I see the guy again, and hes pacing near the exit of the drive thru, staring at my window. He would walk towards my window, then turn back around and walk away, and then pace the exit again, staring the whole time.

The customer, a regular coincidentally, I had at my window the moment I noticed him looks at him too, and is like "What the fuck is That guy doing?" So I tell my Regular about how this guy Ran Up to my window. Hes mad For me, and tells me to call the cops, which.. why didnt I think of that. I grab Leo again and Leo pokes his head out the window to yell at this guy to leave, and we call the cops.

Leo gives the officer a photo of the guy, which he pulled from the cameras, and I give the officer the card Gigi received and explained what This Guy told Gigi, and what we found when we looked up the business name.

He is officially trespassed, and is not allowed in the store. He has come in though, three times since it happened. All three times, my coworker Rob ushered him out and told him not to come back and that if he refuses to leave we're calling the cops.

Still scared as fuck that hes going to walk up to my window again tho!! Thats like one of my biggest fears as a drive thru cashier, people walking up to my window!!! Like idk what youre doing, Fuck that!!!!

#tw #trigger warning #submissions #fuck customers #cashier problems #server problems #submission

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ofclaude · 4 years

Text

vent post under a readmore instead of in the tags bc i !! need to vent !!! & the point of not typing in the post is to be less in your face but this is gonna be a Lot probably lmao

i just. wish i had people around me who i actually care about & who care about me instead of them all being countries away. i live here in this place that helps me recover from trauma & integrate blahblahblah &...like.

they are literally paid to pet my head & call me sweet & go aww really :(( that sucks! & tell me the world’d be worse off without me. & it just fucking. it always gets to me. how is it supposed to not??? i want to be cared about the reason i’m suicidal is because no-one i’ve lived around ever gave a shit about me except 2 primary school teachers & one friend in high-school. people have been paid to pretend to care about me since i was born because me dying was more scandalous than paying a stranger to therapy the neglect away !!

i’m so tired. i’m so, so tired & i can’t anymore. oh, i will. i always fucking do !!! i always fucking do!! and i hate that!! because it’s never. i. ugh. i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tierd i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tried i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired

i went to talk to my father & he !! doesn’t even remember !!! telling me to go live on the street & die in a village where i was the freak when i was 6 years fucking old because he was just qangry & well he got it off his chest didn’t he !! I FUCKING CAN’T IT’S CALLED C-PTSD FUCK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE he was a grown-ass man lashing out in a violent rage at his own goddamn child & NO-ONE. NO-ONE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING WHEN THEY DO THAT. YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WHEN YOU DO THAT, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU FORGOT ABOUT IT!! YOU’RE STILL THE ASSHOLE WHO MADE ME SUICIDAL & MADE IT SO I KNOW I’M WORTHLESS, I KNOW NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY, I KNOW NOTHING WILL EVERY CHANGE THIS

& that was just one, tiny lil interaction out of 24 years of that shit. 24 years !! how am i supposed to just. work thru all of that shit without getting tired of it; yaddahyaddah make ya life better IF UCKING KNOW. HOW ABOUT NOT MAKING ME WORK FOR SMTH I NEVER CHOSE & DON’T WANT ANYMORE, HOW ABOUT DOING SOMETHING ABOU TTHE SCUMBAGS WHO GET TO JUST ‘GET BETTER’ AFTER the only reason they’re not responsible for my death is bc i got real fucking lucky. i’ve got massive endurance & i got lucky as hell. & it wouldn’t have mattered bc THEN I WOULD’VE BEEN DEAD, HUH?!?!? NO-ONE CARES! no-one does anything, & i’m sick of it. they get to kill me, but fuck forbid i do something abou tthem.

& blah that’s all feelings & trauma blah it’s not true i fucking know it’s not true. nothing’s true or fals #nihilism. doesn’t matter that’s not the point. i can do endless therapy, i can have people pet my head all day, i can talk myself out of this & that attempt because i know it won’t change anything. but i can’t change that this lives in me. it’s been years since i cut ties. he’s changed. i’ve changed, else i wouldn’t have cut ties in the first place but ok.

i still don’t want him. i still don’t like him. part of me still cries & hates me for taking my own daddy away from me!! even tho he’s the aggressive bastard who makes me want to fucking take my own life hellloooooo !?!?!? i have to put up with this shit. because i choose to live, but i didn’t get to choose what motherfuckers i was born with - not that my mother didn’t try to teach me otherwise tho !!! it’s all ur own choice uwu u made this call u wanted me for a parent !!!! except i loved myself unlike you bitches so no i did not but go off !! in ur fantasyland

it’s been 3 fucking years & i’ve done so much & i actually got myself a will to live last years. & it’s like. yay it’s better now :))))) no. it’s not. there are better things also. this is not better. it won’t get better, because there is nothing to change. & since it’s ptsd, i can’t forget either. blahblah lessen the impact IF UCKING KNOW I DO THERAPY I KNOW HOW THIS WORKS! BUT IT DOESN’T CHANG ETHE FACT MY OWN PARENTS THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO TEACH ME TO HATE MYSELF & THAT THE WHOLE WORLD COULD ONLY EVER HATE ME BUT I WASN’T ALLOWED TO DIE!! OR MAKE A SCENE !! THAT’D LOOK BAD HUH?? me, the village freak. diagnosed with autism cuz they traumatised me so bad it looked the goddamn same but fuck forbid ANYONE. EVER. talk to my parents !! noooo no i was the one that needed fixing. except they did that wrong too my fucking god does it never end.

i’m tired. i’m tired of living with the pieces of somebody else’s mistakes. i’m tired of being afraid of pushing away the only people i have who i do care about & who care about me, just by asking them to care about the parts of me that’ll never get better. i’m sick of hiding how tired i am. i’m sick of having to be normal & happy & good enough by all those rules that don’t belong to me just to not be as terrified of being neglected again - except this time by people who don’t owe me shit.

i always deal with everything. & i’m tired of it. i’m so, so fucking tired. i know. i know it can get better. i know i can find ways. i know. i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i KNOW. that doesn’t make it okay.

i wish it did, but it never does.

& since :))) i’m afraid of running off my friends by asking directly i’ll just ;)) vent :))) here ;)))

what do you even say to the ppl who actually care about you anyway like lmao what a joke. the better i get the more room i have to conform to being normal - & idc about how other ppl like it, i mean. bad normal. social skills apparently only mean ways, not truth. i was never taught social skills so i communicated directly, which is super good & ppl these days need to be taught that?? so much????????? but no i was awkward & didn’t have social skills. fuck you, ppl raised from the get-go with social skills are the WORST at being social bc they never had to learn another person’s language or the desperation that comes with the language barriers no-one will explain to you. i’m so tired. i’m so tired of jumping thru hoops just to what???? get ppl to care??? get smn to care about????????? & then what. jump thru hoops some more bc now u have smn who doesn’t get u unless u filter out who you are & are left with nothing.

it’s so important to be me but the better i get the less i can do that & that’s what killed me so i gues we’re back at square one !!! let’s go back to therapy & pretend i need that when i already know how to work shit. let’s pay another person to pet my head & give me an hour of their time to vent, just because i don’t have to be afraid they’ll run. jesus christ. if i can’t be me i won’t do it. but idek if i can force myself to bemyself anymore & that’s fucking scary. learning social skills after a lifetime of being shunned just makes me more equipped to go with my terrible coping skills, which is to nix myself & just. be normal be normal be normal be normal bne nomral bne mrf oamlf be nomral. i’m tired.

& blah if u wanna post it on tumblr u gotta go on ur personal uwu ur rp blog is a vending machine no personal shit !! how dare u have a personal life that Exists lmao

#i already know how to solve all of my fucking problems but that doesn't mean i'm okay & i don't have to pretend i am either #amor yodels #vent for ts #on god if this just slaps u in the face in dashview I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY EAT UR OWN ASS

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superemeralds · 5 years

Text

yes. a big sonic fish dropping his opinion on the Thing.

i watched the trailers a bunch of times unti li got so exhausted i just ugh.

you will notice i tried to go thru every second and try finding easter eggs but my attention is not enoguh to. Write That Down

if i had t and id be comfortable with my voice id just record audio or do shit in a steam but. yakno :’)

anyways its under the cut.

TLDR;

the movie looks like they asked pen kenders for design advice for sonics model

i absolutely fucking hate his anatomy its bad from any possible perspective and tehres no sugartalking it hes a naked little man with a fursuit head. and that head has a human jaw. somehow.

the cgi on sonic is debateable. hope the movie puts him into the environment a little better with bounce light n shit. (he would probably fit the environment more easily if he was a cartoon)

the overall quality of the movie is standard millions of dollar budged movie. its got explosions and action and over the top cgi and unfunny jokes that somehow make u laugh anyways they tried some really cool stuff but they just. couldn’t execute it the way they’d wish they did (or at least i wish they did)

you WILL be entertained when watching this movie because the actors are doing a great job n the overall execution is okay (not Good but like. passable. think frozen)

generally the characterization of sonic is good from what we’ve seen

eggman is gonna be okay i think, just. different.

love that its probably inspired by SA2 and 06

im trying to be professional with this but if you know me you know this is impossible. i tried.

I’ll do eggman in a reblog tomorrow right now im just too exhausted from having watched the trailer too often

Starts off with the cop whos name i forgot again sittin in his car when sonic speeds thru.

Ofc he doesn‘t believe such a velocity is possible but then he finds an electrifying blue needle in the grass? Okay? How is that still doing sparkly shit when detatched from sonic, and that strongly? I mean I get it but still. Very hmst? Makes one wonder how they explain his power.

Next is the paramound logo but with rings.

Then is a scene of Sonic running thru the woods which reminds me VERY heavily of the sonic fan movie. like RAELLY heavily.

then sonic falls into his... burrow?

notice the stop sign.

a big biean bag, to cussion his fall probably, and lots of trash. looks like soda and juice and stuff i can’t identify rn. but its a lot of junk.

he has a fuckton of shoes. all w broken soles bc hes running too fast. (tho its unrealistic for only the soles to be damaged.

and a casette player with a knife on it?

after sonic is seen on a street so we can see his back very well.

then he takes the fuck OFF all with the electricity sparkles. its like the efx ppl were too much into MHA

then sonic breaks the sound barrier and. somehow the entirety of north america doesnt have power anymore. maybe those things arent connected but like. its meant to confuse us and make us think. its probably how sonic came to this world.

then eggman is being an asshole to the military (yay) but hes also like. being the Boss Of The Military Now (nay)

also ofc the villain sidekick is a man of color

THEN the cop finds sonic in a shed.

i would screan too if i saw that in a shed.

then theyre sittin in a van. sonic does NOT have his seatbelt on.

THEN eggman attacks. sonic jumps out of the car to fight him off and save the cop

he does a spindash and flips eggmans car, taunts him and runs back to the cop (very good characterization)

eggman then unleashes a smaller robot car thing

then eggman finds one of sonics needles thats still bbzzzting he even tries to lick it. askjfhksa

SONIC THROWS A GOLD RING TO SAVE COP AND THE OTHER GAL FROM FALLING TO THEIR DEATH FROM A SKYSCRAPER??????

then the scene on the skyscraper thats probably before the gold ring throw

i like that the eggman mechs are all inspired by the 06 aesthetic...

he moves so. slow. in the scenes where hes supposed to be fast.......

they tried to pull a quicksilver but. failed.

i dont like how they used ingame sounds bc. yall removed him fro the game aesthetic. and. do that.

and the. shufflebag scene. im. what. thats. what.

also:

ok now onto sonics design.

not even that rainbow flare effect can save the fact he looks like a naked person with a furry mask/headpiece.

total frontal looks okay. i like the smirk and how deep the eyes are. the nose and the eye thing doesn’t really bother much. he looks like a lil boy that i would like to pet

why are his hands white though? just give him gloves you heathens..... they look like monkey hands (yuji naka himself made a statement on twitter that he needs gloves)

the proportions are so. hng. the human jaw. n his head attachment to his body..... it works when its a cartoon but like that? it looks weird.

this angle... why does he have. human lips??? im glad the ears are expressive but. HUMAN LIPS.

why are his eyelids like that.... the peach part is. not enoguh

WHY THE HUMAN TEETH. WHY HUMAN JAW? IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE!!! ITS REALLY EW IM AAAAAAAAAA

hhhh

THIS THO. this is a good boy. how are they the same model?

and thats where i want to give up bc i dont want to look at him anymore.

hes a naked guy with a fursuit head.

and he doesnt fit into the environment... the shaders on him arent good and they are forgetting the bounce light around him and on him.

but. essentially. yknow. yknow what his design reminds me of?

same energy.

i wanted this to be professional but im so. tired. i cant anymore ill do eggman another day

#shadows logbook #long post

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heytheregreeneyes · 4 years

Text

How come you gave up on 'Something Just Like This'? I loved that fic

So here’s the thing...

I haven’t given up on Something Just Like This. I actually still love that fic dearly and very much intend to finish it (and I need to do it soon before Tyler steals all of my ideas like he did with Jenna’s pregnancy reveal *shakes fist at Tyler*).

As you all know, this past year I hadn’t felt much like writing and I couldn’t figure out why... until the other night at work. I was sitting at my desk, staring off into space and thinking about dialogue for the current chapter when it hit me like a freight train why I haven’t been writing. I had had an epiphany!

My eyes literally got wide as I sat straight up, gasped and literally said “Oh my God,” out loud. It was so obvious, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before. And the first thing I did was text @ohfrickfanfic (who agrees with me), even tho it was somewhere around 3:25 in the morning. So if you wanna hear the story behind the fic, buckle in kids, cause it’s gonna be a long one, and it’s gonna get deep.

So as you all know, I started writing Something Just Like This in July of 2017. I was 4 months pregnant with my 3rd surrobaby, who was due in December on Christmas Eve. I was writing as fast as my fingers could fly and was banging out chapters probably once a week. Sometimes twice.

December 12, 2017 - SURROBABY IS BORN! After this, chapters obviously slowed down so that I could pump milk and get my life back to somewhat normal again.

Six months later, in June of 2018, I finally reached the end of my six-month contract for pumping breastmilk for Surrobaby #3 and I started working at my current job at the hospital. I am a CNA and it just so happens that this hospital is where all the surrogate babies were born IRL. I have been super lucky and I now work in that very department, which is where I have wanted to work all my life! Serious life goals, guys. But as you all know, nurses work insane shifts and long hours. I work overnights, 13 hours at a time, and so writing slowed down even more since I was now working my first job outside of the home in about 9 years. For the next few months, chapters are still being posted, but much more slowly.

Things are moving along great... I’m still writing, albeit a bit more slowly, but chapters are still being posted

April 2018 comes and my grandpa dies... my emotions took a huge hit. I had grown up very close to my grandpa and I couldn’t write happy things when I was in such a sad place. It was rough.

Writing slows even more over the summer, but I am still writing, still posting, still planning, still rough drafting, still plotting scenes, and still writing dialogue.

September 2, 2018 - I meet HIM. I don’t want to give out his real name, so we’ll just call him William. I will never ever forget that night. I wasn’t even supposed to be at work that night; it was my night off but they had sent out a text that they needed help, so I picked up an extra shift. Around midnight I got a call that they needed me to pass off my patients so that I could go down to the ER and be a 1:1 for a patient suffering a panic attack. I gather up my things, head down to the ER, get my assignment, go to his room, and...

That was that. He had been sobbing and when he looked up and saw me, he suddenly took one last big breath and stopped crying. He calmed. We got to talking over the course of the night and it was like we had known each other for millennia. We were immediately comfortable with each other, had each other's sense of humor, shared similar life experiences, you name it. This was the night I met my best friend.

He was still hardcore in the middle of a panic attack and didn’t like to be touched, but somehow I was allowed to touch. He openly admits to how much he despises hospitals and no one was allowed in the room, but somehow was calm when I was there. Do you believe in fate? Cause I do.

A week goes by and we now are either talking/texting/video chatting/instant messaging all day and all night, about anything and everything. Our phone calls go on for HOURS and often would end up talking all through the night. Turns out that he has severe anxiety and hasn’t left his house in over two years. Neither of us could believe how quickly we connected and bonded, but the new friendship was a blessing for him and me both. Because of his anxiety and tendency to call/text/message me if a panic attack hit, he earned his own ringtone, text notification sound, and custom volume so that if he called or texted in the middle of the night, or if I was out in a busy area, it would wake me up or ring loud enough so that I could stop and answer.

September 18, 2018 - Two weeks after meeting William, my world gets turned upside down. I lose my mom. She was only 52 years old and died very unexpectedly from sudden liver death. I was DEVASTATED. William was there for me throughout the whole thing, something I didn’t expect since we had just met barely two weeks earlier. In fact, one of the last things my mom ever said to me was “make sure you take care of that sweet boy”. I’ll never forget it.

After my mom died I didn’t feel like writing for a long time. Again, it’s hard to write happy things when you feel so sad and shocked.

So this past year goes by and things level to a norm. William’s depression and anxiety waxes and wanes. We’d hang out in person at his house sometimes, mostly just making fun of each other and enjoying each other’s company. We still talk and text multiple times every day, and had gotten into a habit of sleeping while on the phone.

Then mid-October this year, something changed. We still do all of our normal stuff but he had started to say that he hated not being able to leave his house, hated the way he felt, hated not being able to do stuff, felt like a failure and a coward, etc. All things he has said before, but this time was just hitting him so much worse.

The night of October 22nd is when things really changed. To me, that’s the day I had breast reduction surgery, but that’s also the day communication between us stopped. He stopped calling, he stopped texting, we no longer messaged or chatted on discord... He was gone.

Let me tell you that this felt exactly like another death. How could I lose someone I was so close to? Did I say something wrong, did I do something wrong, did I make him feel bad, did I scare him somehow... all these questions were running thru my head, constantly, throughout the days.

One night I texted him that we needed to talk so he called and sort of, got onto me. He said that I did nothing wrong, that I didn’t say or do anything, that he just couldn’t handle things very well at the moment and he would see texts but just didn’t have it in him to reply. He lacked the energy to call and carry on a conversation. didn’t want to do anything but be by himself. He told me that he loves me and that he misses me, but this is just how it gets sometimes. it just be like that.

I understood. Depression fucking sucks and it just sucks the soul right out of you sometimes. I was there for him but right now, he just needed alone time... something he hadn’t required in over a year... and something I definitely was not used to.

So there I sit this past Saturday night at work, thinking about my fic and writing dialogue in my head like I had been the last few weeks when it hits me.

‘Oh my God,’ I thought to myself. ‘I just figured out why I write fic and why I had stopped for a bit... until now.’

IT FILLS A HOLE OF LONELINESS AND LONGING!

I texted @ohfrickfanfic and she replied, “you were lacking male attention so you made up for it by writing fic but then you met William and he filled the void but now he’s not giving you as much attention so you feel you need to fill that void again.”

I’ll be damned if she’s not 100% right. I had love. I had someone who loved me, someone who genuinely cared about me and for me, asked how I was, loved my family, wanted to know what I was up to, took interest in my life, valued my opinions, asked my advice and took it to heart, called me his, called me pet names, gave me hugs and kissed my forehead.

When it suddenly stopped, ngl I cried quite a few times. I was heartbroken. I went into my own depression and that is when I got the want to start writing again. I’ve always wanted to write and finish SJLT, but now the urge is there.

Things are slowly getting better. He calls every now and then... more often all the time. He teases me and texts sometimes and sends me messages on snapchat, just not NEARLY as often as before. It’s been over a month since I’ve seen his face and I hate it, but I can see my best friend slowly coming back to life. It’s tough because I miss him so fucking much, but he’s coming around and trying to battle his anxiety.

As far as the fic goes, I NEVER gave up on Something Just Like This and it WILL be a finished fic if it kills me. As it stands now, there are only about 3-4 more chapters to go before the fic is finished, and I would like to get it out before the new year... again, before Tyler Joseph steals all of my ideas that I’ve had planned for Josh for over two years. *shakes another fist at Tyler*

I really do appreciate all of you sticking with me and the fic for this long. Allowing me to grieve the loss of my loved ones and asking for updates on the fic... it lets me know that you like it and that my work is wanted.

I won’t let you down.

#something just like this #fanfiction #fanfic #josh dun x reader #encoreo #reader-insert #reader insert #fan fiction #depression #anxiety #about me #update

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wardencommanderrodimiss · 5 years

Text

glasses

Really quick and messy Fae AU ficlet with Phoenix and Ema, written in about an hour and a half, trying to get myself back into the swing of the AU.

On the sixteenth of April, a box arrives at the Wright & Co. Law Offices.

Phoenix is suspicious of it, because Phoenix is suspicious of most things. It makes life in Los Angeles easier to trust nothing and no one, a conclusion Phoenix came to the hard way and has remained true to since. He examines the box on the doorstep without touching it; seeing no enchantments or curses and a European return address, he gingerly carries it inside and sets it on the coffee table.

(He would be much more suspicious if it came from anywhere in the LA area, because this is the hotbed and haven of the Court, and Phoenix inextricably tied to its royal family, Maya with her rows of sharks’ teeth and Pearl’s opalescent shiny skin, Iris insubstantial like ash and Mia and Dahlia who Phoenix does not know what they looked like beneath glamour. There’s a second Court, Maya says, one that her family once split from, somewhere in the Himalayas, but she doesn’t know more about it or worry more about it than that, so Phoenix filed the information away in the back of his mind to remember if he ever meets someone or receives something strange from that part of Asia. But Europe does not fall in the area of his suspicious -- Europe was home to Miles Edgeworth and Franziska von Karma, the two most solidly grounded people in Phoenix’s life, the two who look the same no matter what set of eyes he looks at them through.)

He cuts open the box and finds on top a letter, and beneath that, four Swiss chocolate bars that do not necessitate this box that is half again their length and deeper than them all stacked. The letter is written on lined paper torn from a notebook, the curly torn edge still attached.

Mr. Wright, it reads, and he almost recognizes the handwriting, a messy, loopy, child’s scrawl, and a quick run-down of his tiny circle of acquaintances and who among them are based in Europe lands him on the identity of the sender.

I lost the password for and got locked out of the email that I gave you back when, and I’d lost yours, so I had to snail mail but thought maybe it’s better for me to give you a box to start.

Phoenix sits down on the couch. There’s a few pages folded together.

Anyway I was home for vacation/as a translator for one of my professors - I get a scholarship for it! Sorry I didn’t get to see you. Didn’t have time, but I got to investigate a bit with Mr. Edgeworth. He seems to be doing good. I don’t know how much you talk. I helped him and his assistant on a couple cases and saw Detective Gumshoe too. It’s really helped my resolve to be a forensics investigator. (Sorry that I’ll be going up against you someday, but I’ve got to be on the prosecution’s side. I expect you to defend on all the cases I work on! It can be like a reunion.) Talking w Mr. Edgeworth’s assistant got me thinking, because she

Wait, his assistant? He has an assistant? It must be a new development -- in the past two months, since Phoenix last saw him. Ema can’t mean Franziska -- there’s no way Franziska would ever let a misconception like that take shape.

(Phoenix hasn’t spoken to Edgeworth since February. It’s probably time to reach back out.)

because she was talking about difficulties of what if there’s magic in the case that needs to be investigated. So I got an idea when we were talking about Luminol, and I was thinking about you and your magatama.

Phoenix does not like where this is going.

If it’s not too much trouble, can you get two magatama and mail them to me? I looked at mail rules and stuff and there’s no regulations about sending magical objects in the mail, I couldn’t find. You told me they weren’t particularly hard to make and the price shouldn’t be too steep, but you’re a lawyer and good with deals and contracts and I’m not so much. I didn’t think I should risk contacting anyone myself. I didn’t think you’d be happy about that. I need these to further the cause of science. You’ll be a great help. I can site cite you as my research assistant if I publish any papers on it. (The chocolate is not a bribe. I thought you might like it.) Sincerely, Ema Skye PS I have a new email

In spite of it, Phoenix laughs. “Oh, Ema,” he sighs, shaking his head, and then he glances quickly behind himself, because he feels like something or someone is at his shoulder. The office is empty, because of course it is, but he knows Mia would be interested, and definitely once she heard Ema’s name.

He does admire Ema’s tenacity, and her enthusiasm, and that she’s at least mindful enough to know that she shouldn’t go out-of-the-blue trying to summon one of the fae to get a stash of magatama. (And that apparently part of her litmus is whether Phoenix would be disappointed in her.)

Taking the last page of the letter with him, he goes over to Mia’s desk and boots up the computer. It’s slow, but he has no inclination to get a new one. He’ll use it until it explodes. His money can be better put to other things, like groceries. He doesn’t use it enough to make a new one a worthwhile investment.

He pulls up a new email window and plugs in Ema’s address.

Ema, What exactly do you want two magatama for? I’m not going to consider anything without knowing what your plan is and advising you on whether it’s dangerous. -Phoenix

He waters Charley and picks a few pens up off the floor -- he doesn’t remember dropping them and not picking them back up and wonders if Maya appears in the night to scatter things -- and when he gets back to the desk he already has a response.

Mr. Wright. I think I have an ingenius solution for most investigators not having the sight. I’m going to mount hte magatama on a glasses frame for hands free investigating. I also want to see if I can use sandpaper/shop tools to cut open the hole in the center so it’s easier to see thru. I want to know if the exact shape of the magatama is important for its magical prowess and if it loses its power if parts of it are cut off. I think four might actually be a better number for the first batch. It gives me room to mess up. Thanks, Ema

Phoenix rubs his eyes and feels a headache approaching.

If you were going to try modifying it I wouldn’t recommend using anything metal, even if it’s not iron. Sandpaper would take longer but less risk of a bad reaction. But also, no.

It’s a really interesting question, actually, and Phoenix suddenly, badly, wants to know the answer, but he can’t condone the risk. Ema might draw attention to herself with the magatama, by altering them, or worse, attention from someone that wasn’t Maya or Pearl (because they are the only ones Phoenix would ask for a magatama) by her closer proximity to the Himalayas than Kurain. Or worse, she might succeed in making the glasses, wear them, and See things she shouldn’t and acquire bad attention that way. It’s rude to stare at the fae through a magatama -- the one rule for trying is don’t get caught which is difficult when it’s such an obvious and blatant motion -- and he fears that while there are no rules for a subtle magatama, one that doesn’t look it, the result might be even worse. Not only would she be staring, but Ema would also be trying to hide it, to get away with something she shouldn’t.

(It’s just scientific curiosity, he knows, nothing she means to be harmful, but They might not see it that way.)

Please, Mr Wright, it’s science! It’s important! Don’t you want to know? I’ll just take one to start with. It could really help our justice system and make sure that even magic isn’t above the law and isn’t getting away with crime.

He puts his head in his hands. God, Ema’s probably eighteen, now, isn’t she? She’s probably too old for him to petition to legally adopt her and bring her back to LA to keep an eye on her. Her extended family probably wouldn’t stand for it, anyway. He wonders what Lana would think.

I think it’s a clever idea, but too risky for you. I don’t want to see you getting hurt or locked in a bad deal or ending up like me. Promise me you won’t try and get any magatama yourself.

Mia likes to bind promises made in this office, make them stay true, and Phoenix wonders if that will work when one of them isn’t here, when Ema is on another continent, when Phoenix asks for the promise in electronic words. This isn’t honest of him, to try and lock her with magic into a promise, and for your own good is a slippery slope where naught but ash and bones lie at the bottom.

But Phoenix also spent a year living with my fault a mantra beating in his head, telling him that chosen death was my fault, and he was the one to introduce Ema to magic, to magatamas, to Sighted eyes, and if in investigating that she gets in over her head —

My fault.

He reads over his email again, after sending it, after he can’t take back the words, and it surprised him how much of his heart he laid out. I don’t want to see you ending up like me. He’s thought that, at Ema and Edgeworth and Franziska, but never said it. It’s easier for that sentiment to escape through his fingers than from his lips.

(He should try emailing Edgeworth but is afraid of what he might find himself able to say.)

Okay, okay, geez. You’re really serious on this. I like my soul where it is, tho, you don’t need to worry about that. I’m not gonna give it up for a science experiment but once I’m home and a real forensic scientist I’m coming to your office and hitting you up for this experiment because I still think it’s really important even if you’re gonna be an old fuddy about it.

No one’s ever accused him of being old before, though admittedly he thinks that being old is a blessing he won’t actually ever be afforded.

Good, good. So how’s school going? What were the cases you investigated with Edgeworth about? I didn’t know he had an assistant.

She probably knows this is a clumsy redirect, something to distract her, and she doesn’t respond until the next day — he thinks she’s mad at her until she sends back a novel-length response detailing the specifics of the crime scenes, evidence discovered, culprits, and methods.

In the next few days it’s suddenly much, much harder to keep a normal conversation going, to avail himself of anything but puzzling out the indistinct pieces of the Gramarye case that has left him unmoored and adrift, but the sporadic times he does manage to keep responding to Ema, he doesn’t mention it.

She probably knows the Gramarye name — everyone in LA does, the local coven like cryptids who appear when desperately needed to cut little dangerous deals. And if he mentions Gramarye she’s probably going to think magic crime and she’s going to return to the thought of the glasses —

Safer to keep her separate from that. Safer to keep everyone separate from that.

He only learns from Apollo and Trucy that she’s returned to the States, is working down at the precinct and on crime scenes now.

She doesn’t appear on his doorstep to bug him for a magatama.

#fae au tag #fic: the seelie of kurain #this is mostly of no consequences but there's a few new tidbits of worldbuilding #the stuff about a second Court will get spun into the main fic sooner or later and i've mentioned it in my extra discussion posts #but ema taking a scientific approach to magic has been something i've been thinking about and this was a thing on my mind #her idea here will probably come up in the main fic too. she'll be making her first major appearance soon #fae au extras

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