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daiziesssart · 1 month

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a humiliatingly long character analysis of lily evans

Someone sent me an ask that briefly mentioned how misunderstood Lily is, and before I knew it I was typing out this monster. I am. sorry. This is literally just me rambling about her, what I find compelling about her character, and why her character is so often misunderstood.

This is long as hell so I'm putting it under a read more lolol

Part of the reason I like Lily so much (other than my being ginger and projecting onto any redheaded female character I see) is that even though she isn’t explored as much as her other Marauders Era counterparts, we know enough about her to start building the framework for her character. And what I see is a girl who was incredibly interesting, kind, and flawed.

One thing I always think about in regards to Lily is that she was dealt with a pretty unfair hand. As soon as she receives her letter, she’s basically torn between two worlds, both of which have been less than welcome to her. On one hand, we have the muggle world that she’s known all her life, but once she starts integrating into the wizarding world, she likely feels a bit of a disconnect with that world. To twist the knife further, her sister- whom she loved dearly and grew up so close with- starts outwardly resenting her with such unbridled hostility that they likely couldn’t even be in a room alone together without major conflict.

On the other hand, we have the wizarding world– a world she’s not as familiar with and one she soon learns holds a demographic of people who hate everything she is and would rather see her excommunicated or even dead. And even though finding out you’re a witch/wizard is probably such an exciting and life-changing moment, I can’t help but also take note of the difficulties, especially if you’re the only one in your family with magic. You’re essentially uprooted from the only way of life you’ve known at an already complicated age, and now you have to quickly become acclimated to this new world that you only just found out existed. Not only that, but now you’re suddenly attending a school with classes that are primarily focused on this world of magic (which is still brand new to you), and you have to work extra hard to play catch up in order to do well. Like, that all seems like… a lot for a kid to handle.

And then I remember how young she was when she was thrown into that mess. She was only 11, and kids that age desperately crave any sense of belonging. I mean, that’s something that still holds true for adults, but it’s especially critical for a developing child. So imagine Lily, ages 11-15, struggling to stay afloat in this weird purgatory between these two parts of herself, both of which have been the cause for major and traumatic experiences relating to rejection in her life.

(I say it was the “cause” even though it’s obvious that those things were never her fault at all, but when you’re a young kid navigating the world, the only thing you’re able to process is that the common denominator is you, therefore you’re the one who must shoulder the blame.)

So now we have this tween-teenaged girl who has a dysfunctional relationship with two major parts of identity and probably feels absolutely lost.

This is why her hesitancy to end her friendship with Snape makes sense to me. Even though by fifth year he’s already well past toeing the line with the dark arts, Lily was willing to overlook some pretty egregious and troubling things in order to maintain the relationship. I kind of interpret that as her way of desperately clinging on to any sense of belonging she has left; her relationship with Petunia has already been poisoned, and now there are people who resent her existence as a witch; if she loses Severus too, what and who else does she have? And what tone does that set for her, if everyone and everything she’s come to hold close to her ends up turning her away?

It’s also important to note that not only is Severus one of her few remaining connections to the muggle world, but he’s also a wizard who grew up in the muggle world; he understands her, and I don’t doubt that he gave her some stability at times when she needed it (her finding out about her being a witch, her having trouble acclimating to the wizarding world, etc).

I see this as being one of her flaws and I can actually appreciate how relatable and realistic it feels. Lily is not a bad person; on the contrary, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone to describe her as such. Not to get all clinical and boring, but the interesting thing about (unhealthy) coping mechanisms is that it can actually be really hard to identify them in your own behavior. Unless you’re in therapy and/or are actively psychoanalyzing yourself, you likely don’t even realize how many of your common behaviors are born from self defense mechanisms put in place by your brain after past events.

To me, it makes sense why she avoided actually confronting the idea that Snape was too far gone. We know that she was aware of the path Severus was taking, but it almost seems like she was still convinced that she could save him, and could possibly steer him back in the right direction. It’s only when she becomes the target of his bigotry that she realizes that the Snape who called her a ‘mudblood’ was not the same Severus who was the one who held her hand and introduced her to this new, exciting world.

In a general sense, yes, it is selfish, to only take a stand when something starts affecting you personally. But I also think it’s important to note that it’s unlikely that this was a conscious decision on Lily’s part. In my eyes, it was easier to delude herself into thinking she still had a chance to save him before it was too late when she was able to separate him from his actions (considering, a lot of the time, she was only hearing about them after the fact, rather than seeing them firsthand). But the elusion is shattered once she sees that the Snape she grew up with– her friend, Severus– is, in fact, the same person who’s out there calling other students slurs, dismissing the malicious use of Dark Magic on others as just “a laugh”. There we see a Lily who is actually revealed to have been somewhat aware of Snape’s involvement with the darker side of magic, and genuinely feels pretty ashamed about her inaction.

Also, this is in no way me being a Snape-anti, and I actually could do an entire separate analysis on his character alone and why I find him so interesting.

Anyways, that moment in SWM is probably somewhat of an epiphany to her. It’s like a dam that’s been broken, and now she’s overwhelmed with the realization of exactly how much she overlooked in order to keep their friendship afloat. And for someone like Lily Evans, someone whom we know is opinionated and unafraid to call others out on their bullshit, that can be hard to swallow and feel pretty mortifying and shameful. And I think this was a huge turning point for her- at that point, she doesn’t have the luxury of avoiding uncomfortable truths anymore and now that she’s getting closer to graduating and being thrown out into the world on the brink of war, this was probably a really sobering discovery.

This is where we don’t have as much info to go off of, and a lot of it is up to interpretation. But we actually have little crumbs to go off of following her graduation and leading up to her death.

One of my favorite little tidbits isn’t in the books, and @seriousbrat's post reminded me about it. Here's the actual entry on Pottermore for anyone who's interested, but I'll summarize: after James and Lily began dating, Lily brings James to meet newly engaged Petunia and Vernon. Everything goes downhill, because Vernon is a smarmy asshole, and James is still pretty immature and can’t help but mess with him (which… fair, I guess). Petunia and Vernon storm out after Petunia letting Lily know that she had no intentions of having her as a bridesmaid, which causes Lily to break down into tears. I mention this because I also think it’s a pretty important aspect of her character; like we’ve seen in her past friendship with Snape, Lily seems more than willing to forgive others most of the time. Petunia is a bit of a complicated character herself, but she was objectively very cruel and unfair to Lily once it became obvious that she was a witch and Petunia was not.

Something that always stands out to me is just how desperate Lily is to earn Petunia’s trust and approval again. Even up until her death, she was more than willing to mend the relationship, were Petunia ever to consider.

This is a detail about Lily that I feel is misunderstood quite a bit. I’ve seen a lot of instances of her character being reduced to a one-dimensional archetype with little to no complexity. And often, that archetype is “know-it-all, prudish, self righteous bookworm who is also a goody two-shoes with a stick up her ass”. What annoys me is that the reason for this is most definitely the scene in which she blows up at James in SWM for bullying Snape, and hurls quite a few insults at him directly after an extremely devastating and overwhelming situation for her. This frustrates me because we know for a fact that she’s the polar opposite of this archetype I’ve seen her reduced to.

In actuality, she’s referred to as popular, charming, witty, bright and kind. From flashbacks we also are shown that she’s opinionated, bold, and not afraid to challenge others. With other context, like her interpersonal relationships, we can also see that she’s pretty emotionally driven and wears her heart on her sleeve.

(I know Remus didn’t mention Lily much in the books, but I really love how he described her in the movies. He tells Harry that the first thing he noticed about him was not his striking resemblance to his father, but his eyes, the same eyes Lily had. He also calls her a “singularly gifted witch” and an “uncommonly kind woman”.

“She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even and perhaps most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves.”

I know there are mixed feelings on whether or not the films count as canon source material, so take it with a grain of salt, but I personally cannot see a world in which Lily and Remus didn’t become close friends.)

Here we have a direct description of what she was like and who she was, corroborated by recounting of memories of her, and yet for some reason, this feels like the thing that is most commonly lost in translation.

I don’t think I can say why I think that is without mentioning the dreaded M word (misogyny- it’s misogyny), but I also don’t want to get too off topic so I’ll be brief: female characters are typically not given the same grace as male characters. When we have an undeveloped male character, he’s awarded the assumption that despite his lack of depth, there still exists a complex and multifaceted character– it’s merely just potential that hasn’t been tapped into. Whereas when we have underdeveloped female characters, they are taken at face value, meaning that not much exists beyond the little information we have of them. They are not presumed to have a life or a story that exists beyond the surface of what we know like male characters are. That’s why I think characters like Regulus, Evan, or Barty (just to name a few) are more popular than Lily, despite being less developed than she is.

(Before anyone gets defensive, no, I don’t think it’s an individual problem that you alone need to be shamed for. I think it’s the result of a deeper issue regarding misogyny in media as a concept; these are things that we’ve all unknowingly internalized and while it’s not our fault, we still have to do the work to deconstruct those learned prejudices.)

What I find really cool about her character is that despite how much she’s been hurt, she’s also still known as one of the most loving, kind, and considerate characters. There were so many times in her life where the love she received was conditional and ripped away from her– and I think that’s what makes her sacrifice even more poignant. She was able to protect her infant son from an extremely powerful dark wizard, wand-less, knowing that her husband was just murdered in cold blood, just from how much love she felt for Harry. Her love was a force of nature on its own, and I just think that’s such an amazing thing about her.

I know I’m biased, given that she’s one of my favorite characters, but even upon delving into this, I still just find it so incredibly hard to understand how anyone can actively hate her (not indifference, but actual dislike). In my opinion (again, no one is unbiased, and she is a favorite character of mine, but trust me when I say that I’m trying to be objective as possible when I say this), she’s probably one of the most likable characters of the Marauders Era. I think perhaps a lot of people haven’t given her a chance or really taken the time to learn about her character, but it could be a myriad of other reasons that I’ll never understand.

There's so much more I could say but this is long enough and I will stop myself

Lily Evans, u will always be famous to me

#lily evans #character analysis #harry potter #i am a little embarrassed that i got so invested in this. i hope at least one person enjoys this insane essay that no one asked for

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alexa-fika · 5 months

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Kitchen Menace (Thatch x gn!child!reader x Marco)

A/N: If you guys wish to see a specific scenario to read then do send an ask to let me know, or you know… you can just stop and say hi 😉

Dividers by @saradika

Marco sat at his desk as he meticulously went through the crew’s current analysis and checkups and made annotations on results he observed that struck him as peculiar and should follow up with his brothers. His concentration was broken as his door was suddenly slammed open. He quickly swirled his chair around to scold the intruder when he, the youngest crew member, ran in.

“Brother Marco! Help me, Brother Thatch is trying to get me!” The young child screamed, darting towards the doctor

Marco shakes his head and sighs, a chuckle escaping him.

“What did you do this time?-yoi?”

“W-Why do you assume I did something! Someone could have done something to me!”

“Well, you have a tendency to cause trouble.” He casually responded, his attention now back on his papers

“Not true!” they huff a notable pout on their face.

Marco turns his sight from the papers at hand to Reader and frowns amusedly.

“And what about those broken plates I saw?”

“We went through pretty bad weather yesterday, big waves,” they reply with a nervous smile.

Marco stared at them for a few seconds before slowly returning to his papers.

“I don’t know which one is funnier, you trying to gaslight me or you lying to me,” He said in a calm tone of voice.

“Im not!”

“Sure, how about you tell me what happened, and I’ll consider helping you-yoi,” He said as he put his papers down and rested his head on his crossed arms.

“Now, what did you do this time that you are hiding-you?”

“Im innocent!”

“You’re on your own then if you din’ do anything, I’m sure you won’t need my help-yoi.”

“Okay! Okay! I may have sneaked into his kitchen.”

“Did you steal anything?” He said as he leaned to the side to rest his chin on one of his hands. His eyes were glaring at them, just waiting for them to answer.

“Sure did, got their hands on the pastries I was doing!” A voice says behind her

Reader squeals as they try to run away but are stopped as Thatch quickly picks them up.

“Where do you think you’re going, you little rascal? It’s time for some. payback,” he exclaims with a sly grin as he tickles them.

“No!”

Hahaha! You’re mine now!

“Brother Marco, help me!” they scream between their joyous screams and laughs that echo around the clinic.

Marco looks at them with a slight grin.

“What exactly do you want me to do, hm?”

“Save me!”

He chuckles and shakes his head.

“You’re on your own.” He leans back in his chair and sips his coffee.

“Enjoy Your forthcoming”

“Haha! No one can save you now! I’mma tickle you till you pop!”

“Im going to tell Grandpa on you!” they scream, trying to wriggle away from him.

“You sure do run that mouth a lot,” he says, stopping his attack and narrowing his eyes.

“And I used it to eat all the yummy pastries, brother Thatch!” they tease.

“Oh, you wanna say that again? You wanna say that again?”

“They were so good, and brother won’t be able to taste them ’cause they’re all gone!”

“I have an idea of how to deal with you.”

They let out a small shriek as he suddenly throws them in the air, and they begin hysterically laughing as he continues to repeat the action.

“You are such a little menace.”

“But you love me!” they say, giving him a toothy grin.

I do love you, but you’re still a menace.

“Well, Brother Thatch and the others raised me, so…I had to learn it from somebody.”

Marco rolls his eyes.

“They’re not wrong,” he mutters under his breath as he sips his coffee.

They laugh as they hear Marco’s comment, hugging Thatch’s neck tight.

“Am sorry for eating the pastries; I was just hungry.”

“Awww. Apology accepted. How about you help me make some more? You can even be my taster.”

First reader oneshot! Hopefully, there's more to come. I'm willing to try my hands at not only child! reading but romantic scenarios too, so let me hear your suggestions!

#marco the phoenix x reader #marco x reader #thatch x reader #whitebeard pirates #whitebeard one piece #marco x child!reader #Thatch x Child!Reader #one piece #one piece x reader #whitebeard pirates x reader #whitebeard x gn!reader #marco x gn reader #gn reader #one piece x gn reader #one piece x gender neutral reader

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accio-victuuri · 5 months

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fandom thoughts & are cpfs really gonna get banned from yibo related comment sections? 📝

i may regret publishing this cause it will, like it always does, attract the wrong sort but whatever. i don’t really care. for someone who has been here for a good number of years, i have really learned to pick my battles especially fandom-wise. i can tell you that every week, there will always be some kind of trouble going on with fans and you will be exhausted if you obsess over each one of them. i have said before that if there is anything that will drive me out of stanning the boys, it’s the toxic fandom — so that’s why i mostly steer clear. hence, having this small space for myself on tumblr.

the fandom disagreements, whether that’s within cpfs, so/o vs cpfs, so/o vs other so/os and we somehow get dragged is always gonna be there. and it’s not really unique to our fandom. the question tho is why you are here? is it to participate in fan wars or to consume content related to xz and wyb? is it to be famous and get followers? etc personally, i’m here for xz and wyb. the active fandom is a bonus. there are so many things i love about the cpf community, but my priority will always be xz and wyb + their career. i mostly get involved if the issue makes it on HS and if it’s to amplify something positive within the fandom.

lately, i’ve mildly spoke up about people accusing cpfs of buying likes cause it was all bs.

which leads us to the next topic of being banned..

i guess this is a “hot topic” in other platforms that love drama.

so for the past days, including weibo night, cpfs have been commenting en masse in comments section. for example, with yibo’s weibo night post and ybo’s recent post about bystander ep photos. what you will notice is the use of ❤️💛 💚 to highlight that we are cpfs. the same thing is done in xz & xzs post. the only reason why we are more visible in the top comments of yibo posts is because motos are disorganized. i said what i said. i see efforts for their coordination but cpfs are just more organized when it comes to doing likes and votes. xfx are so much better than us on this tho. they have lots of professional fans. omg i’m gonna get dragged for being a xfx lol but it’s the truth.

you must notice that the friction between cpfs and motos have been happening for a while now. going as far back as SDC 5 finals ( even before that actually ) and so on. this is why i’m not surprised that this stunt from cpfs triggered them again. ⚠️

the short answer is, no one is getting banned. what they can do tho, and that includes YBO is to report these comments as spam. and if you look at it, they do look like spam posts. if a user gets reported multiple times, then that is when the ban comes in. i don’t think they will be spending money on censoring certain emojis tho. i tried right now and you can still send it.

i have seen some conversations on wb among cpf, that the comments should not be like this. it should really be actual comments on what is being shared. that we should not include xz’s name or face. that’s what i like about the fandom, cause we can admit if we do something wrong or if we need to improve in some aspects. we don’t blame other people, which is what other fandoms love to do btw. it’s all they can do. lol.

and it doesn’t help that in yuehua’s recent post regarding yibo’s lawsuits, the top comment is about demanding to control the comments section of yibo related posts. so of course they will look into that. sadly, the group that the company will always appease are the solo fans. it is what it is.

so that’s basically what the issue is about.

i’m actually just observing at this point but it’s not where my focus is. i am personally excited about saturday and seeing captain yibo 💥 plus i have other interests and things happening irl. this is why i don’t get people who seem to only be in fandom to start fights or obsess over cpfs. can’t relate.

i’m not saying that we should ignore everything and pretend that things are perfect. the point is, do not obsess over every fandom drama. also, look at things from cpf side before so/os. people usually come to me, sending me things that so/os say and my question is why the hell are you reading their posts? why are you in there? let’s stay on our lane. they are so/os, of course they will be biased. and don’t expect me to be always up in arms about stuff like this. my energy for over reacting is primarily for cpns and not fandom wars & drama.

lastly, being a cpf is not for the glass hearted. if you are weak-willed, this is is not for you. or maybe it is and this is the fandom that will build you up. i hope more and more people will find that perfect balance in participating in this fandom. that we set and implement boundaries — i know it’s especially hard for the new ones — when you are bombarded with the negativity. it’s not all that. there is so much more positive things to gain in being a cpf if you know where to look 🫶🏼

#yizhan #bjyx #personal #fandom drama #hugs to all cpfs 🫂🫂🫂#if you all have nothing to do then watch tgcf

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persage · 2 years

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CARETAKER- S. HARRINGTON

Steve Harrington x Sick! Reader

Summary : When Steve hears that you're sick and you've gone to work anyway, he comes to pick you up, take you home and put his nursing skills to the test. He loves taking care of you, but sometimes you make it difficult

Words Count: 2.3k

Tags: Steve Harrington x Sick! Reader, just Fluff and Steve being the best nurse in the world and an overprotective boyfriend

Thanks again to @loving-and-dreaming for the amazing ideas!

For all the years Steve Harrington has known you - which are way too many to be honest- you've always been careless with your health. There's always something more important: homeworks and school projects first, monsters and fights then. Anyway being selfless is what you and Steve have in common, he understands you and he knows how to keep an eye on you without you noticing, cause you get mad everytime someone, and more specifically him, tries to take care of you.

"I don't need a babysitter Harrington, I am the babysitter."

So Steve has learned to understand the way your body react to pain and stress, when you close your eyes as you get up he knows your knee is giving you trouble and when you ask him to open something for you is because the arm you broke years ago in the Byers house, against the stupid demodog, still hurts when the weather changes. But you know Steve too and you care about him of course, he has been you neighbor since you have arrived in Hawkins, when you were just a child, he was just the spoiled kid from the biggest house in the city and now he's your boyfriend and partner in crime. You bring him food when he says he's home alone cause you think he will let himself starve, not that he can't cook - to be fair he is really good at it- but he can be lazy sometimes and prefers stays on the chouch slowly dying. You always make sure he brings his jacket with him, cause his stupid brain won't understand the temperature outside can be very different from the one inside the house and he will get sick. Also you take him to the doctor, even against his will, everytime he gets hit on his head and stay with him the night to keep him awake when he has concussions. You're pretty good at this, making sure he always comes first. He is your priority and it infuriates him of course, 'cause Steve Harrington doesn't think he deserves any of this and you don't let him do the same for you. Which is why - against his own nature- he had became more observant in the first place.

But this time he misses it.

It's Max that tells him as she enters the Family Video holding hands with Lucas, cause they need a movie for their date night. "So uh, have you seen y/n this morning at all?" Something in the girl's voice makes him turn sharply and almost knocks over the pile of boxes he was tidying up. Almost, because Robin comes to avert disaster.

Truth is you've been working really hard lately, being a babysitter and also taking shifts at Enzo's during lunches and dinners you don't have time to really rest. Steve has been doing the same thing, working as much as he can so you can afford living together so no, he hasn't seen you this morning, he just left something to eat for breakfast outside your door before going to work.

"What's wrong with her? " He asks.

"Nothing's wrong! She was just asking!" A not so calm Lucas replies. Max glares at him. "Lucas, just tell me what my stupid, stupid girlfriend has done this time."

"She hasn't done anything at all. It's that we saw her babysitting Holly Wheeler this morning and we noticed she was coughing...a bit." Max explains. Steve raises an eyebrow at that

"Okay, fine, a lot." Lucas confesses, this time Max nudges him. Steve shakes his head. "Stupid, stubborn foolish girl!" He mutters. Robin places a hand on his shoulder.

"You're overreacting dingus" But as if he hadn't even heard her, Steve continues. "Cover me Rob. I have to reach y/n and take her home, then I'll come back. I swear" He doesn't even wait for her answer. Steve runs away.

He finds you at Enzo ready for the lunch shift, trying to carry a big table on your own, face red from fatigue. He stops before he can call your nome and just observes you torturing yourself and gets to see you drop the table on the ground andlean on it, coughing violently. "Are going to kill yourself?" When you hears Steve's voice you turn around and the minute you see his face, you know you are in deep trouble. Sometimes he tend to get a little overprotective, treating you like one of his children.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" You aks, trying to see something different in his face than the judgmental expression of a mother ready to lecture you. He doesn't answer, simply approaches you and puts his hand on your forehead. You try to stifle another cough and shake him off, but end up leaning on your knees with your body shaking violently. Steve holds you, caressing your back gently. "Home! Now!" He orders, his tone sweet but still doesn't allow replies

"But I have to finish-"

"No you don't, I'll talk to Enzo. Now get in the car and turn on the heating." He takes you home quickly and even if you don't need it he carries you from the car to your own room, after making sure that no one is at home. "Where are your parents?"

"Dad has the long shift, he'll be back tonight. Mom's out of town" And so Steve calls Robin, to warn her that he won't be able to work the afternoon shift.

You feel your exhausted body sinking into the mattress, lighter than air, as your vision grows spotted. You feel sicker than ever, your head weighs as if you have stones inside and burns like hell but you feel cold, at the same time: fingers, legs, arms, torso, it's all frozen. You groan, rolling on your side and closing your eyes as you hear Steve's steps.

"Baby. I'm gonna die today. Remember I love you and my collection of VHS is yours" Steve smiles, sitting near you and putting a hand on your forehead.

"Oh love, how sweet of you" He replies, "Why were you still working?" He asks with a slight tone of reproach. One of his hands slides up your neck and then your back, the other one brushes your hair away from your forehead, then lightly caresses one of your cheeks. He starts rubbing circles over your back and it feels like paradise. "We need money, you know my amazing boyfriend and I... we want to find a place of our own and he.. He is working so much, he is doing his best for our future together. I want to do it too, if I could I'd even get three jobs. For him. For us. " You answer, smiling. Thank goodness you have your eyes closed and you're probably delirious with fever, otherwise you'd notice Steve's eyes watering and the little tear that escapes his control. Sometimes the way you love him unconditionally, moves him. For someone who's not used to be anyone's priority, your love is overwhelming and he doesn't know what he's done to deserve it. Steve's touches reminds you of your childhood, the way your dad used to take care of you, telling stories about monsters and children fighting the evil, but now these aren't just stories and kids aren't just kids and you don't like hearing stuff like that anymore. And your father doesn't take care of you like before, he doesn't do it out of malice, it's just his new job that takes him away from you for a long time and you know he is suffering too. You don't blame him, but you miss him. Luckily Steve is with you to ease the loneliness.

"Hang in there, love" Your boyfriend murmures softly in your ear, placing a kiss on your cheeks, continuing to rub your back tenderly. Hide behind his words you can feel his concern, he's overprotective as always. "You are burning up, I need you to take this baby" He passes you a pill and you shake your head The movement makes you nauseous and you don't want anything, you feel so tired and sore that you are afraid a single change around you could kill you.

"Let me here to die" you grumble dramatically.

"Then who will take care of me when I'm sick?" Steve jokes, smiling at you sweetly. The sentence makes you think, you open your eyes and look at him worried.

"What's up?"

"You have to stay away from me" You say, your teeth chattering in the cold as he adjusts the blanket around you better. "I'm not kidding, you could get sick too"

"Dont worry about me love, You just need to rest. " He tells you and in your feverish delirioum you hold his hands and you let go, falling into a deep sleep.

When you wake up an hour and a half later, Steve is in the same position, holding a hand on your forehead and watching over you like your guardian angel. You would like to tell him he shouldn't be here with you, but the truth is the feeling of being cared for is foreign enough to make you crave it in a way you didn't know you could. You cough again your poor lungs out, trying to cover your mouth so as not to contaminate Steve, then sneeze repeatedly. He shakes his head, handing you a glass of water and supporting your back so you can drink comfortably. "And you thought you could work like this? You should be more attentive to your health." "Ohhh Still with this story? Don't be exaggerated, I'm not that bad. Also I was fine before you came at Enzo's" You reply stubbornly, raising an arm to push him away with a huff.

"You were already burning up and you wouldn't even think to come to me. I'm not a good boyfriend? You don't trust me as a nurse? I'm an excellent nurse, that's my job" He has a harsh tone, he wants you to understand that you really have to take care of yourself, today is a fever, tomorrow something else. Steve would like you to be your priority not only his. "Why do you have to be so dramatic! It's just a cold." Your voice has a strange tone, it's hoarse from the cough, vaguely funny. Steve smiles. He can't be mad at you especially as you disappear into the blanket, curled up on yourself, like a child in need of care. And no matter how much you deny it, you need him and he wants to be there. "Come on Steve seriously maybe there's a chance I didn't pass you my lousy germs. Save yourself. Go away. Think about you my love"

"No way, I need to keep an eye on you."

"Steven Harold Harrington, You're acting like I'm five."

"Don't use my full name on me y/n, also You've been acting like you're five all day." Then after a minute of silence. "How long has this been going on?" He asks more seriously, as you peek out from under the covers to make eye contact with him. You are not even interested in the fact that you are not as beautiful as you would like, that you have dirty hair, swollen red shiny eyes and a pale skin, his steady gaze on you is so full of adoration and devotion that you do not believe it is humanly possible for some eyes express so much love without saying a single word, without moving a muscle, in just one simple glance.

"It was just a sore throat yesterday. I only started coughing this morning and then I was cold, shivering a lot, but I didn't... I didn't want to take my temperature. If you don't know, you don't have to stay home from work" Steve shakes his head and remembers the last few days, he should have been more careful because it's clear you're lying now and it's clear that when you said you were tired in the past few days, you weren't just tired.

"Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid. I mean yes I am, but not that much. You must've been feeling bad for at least a few days." You avoid his look "I hate it when you do this" He whispers lying next to you.

"I haven't done anything. You're just overreacting because you love me too much"

"Please y/nyou are the one who underestimates everything. And yes, I love you too much and I would like to grow old with you, but if you continue to behave like an unconscious foolish child you will make me die of a heart attack at thirty and you will break my dreams"

You laugh. "You're a Drama Queen"

"No you don't understand, today is just the fever and yesterday were demogorgons and tomorrow who knows? You always do it, not taking care of yourself, it scares me"

You hold his hand and after a moment of silence, with all the sincerity, you reply.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry" You are interrupted by a cough. "I've never seen it this way. I've never thought about the impact my actions can have on you. I'm so selfish. "

"No, you are the opposite of selfish. But you are right about one thing I love you too much. And now I'm going to get you some iboprufen to take down the fever." He gets out of bed and places a kiss on your forehead. "I need my girlfriend to be okay"

"I hate meds" You whine and moan.

"You are just a little girl"

"Thanks, my hero." But before he can leave the room you call him. "Steve" He turns around, smiles and you think that you don't want anything more than this for your whole life. Steve Harrington and you, your house, you dreams. The everyday life that becomes extraordinary next to the right person. "I'm sorry I said you were overreacting." You state.

"I love you too, y/n."

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vulpixisananimal · 28 days

Text

(you leave for one loop. One day. And it becomes a blinding disaster. Oh yes, Stardust gets a loop where they can relax and don't need to worry about anything and look what happens.)

(Because of you.)

(I did not do anything.)

(Oh sure! Was I mistaken? Was I mistaken thinking that the one who's always causing trouble, always making things harder, was the one who messed everything up!?!)

(I had to do what I had to do. It's fixed now.)

(Fixed?!? Is that all you care about?!?)

(You grip the sides of the sink. You might be sick again at this rate. You couldn't tell if the nausea was from looping or from the mental argument you were having.)

(It's fine! Really, it's wonderful even! You could share what you learned now. And figure all this out. It's fine.)

(But first, cue Isabeau.)

"You alright, Sif?--" >> "--Just some loopy stuff, not that bad, I'll meet you for breakfast!"

(It's so easy to slip back into the old routine. It's comfortable. It's easy. You can just zone out and respond in exactly the right way. And yet, it made your skin crawl. After all you've been through you're still supposed to memorize a play? What a joke.)

(You go through the motions, get fully dressed, go downstairs, greet your party. Quesadillas again. They'd probably still be tasty, though you wont want them for a bit after these loops.)

"You sure you're alright??--" >> "--Do you think that's why you're sick again?"

(You were zoning out a lot. Change things up.)

"That would make sense, craft exhaustion, right?"

"Alright eat up then 'Frin, gotta get your energy back." (Nille gave you more food like last time.)

"At least let me finish first breakfast." (You say, smiling.) "I am hungry though."

(You still weren't sure if you felt better or worse after taking some time to relax. Although, that 'relaxing' time was cut short. You take a bite of the quesadilla.)

(??!?!!?!)

"Is Bonnie feeling okay?" (You ask.)

"They woke up with a headache, I think it's from that bonk from yesterday." (Nille looked worried at you bringing it up.) "Just, don't mention the burnt food."

(Odile spoke up from behind her book.) "It shouldn't be from that bang on the head. No concussion, any booboos they had Mirabelle healed up."

"Well what else would it be then."

(You quietly eat up the quesadilla. Just think for a second, Loop. It's probably nothing. Just focus on the task at hand.)

(You and I know that it's impossible for the past to change. If something did change, it would be us who did it.)

(So why does Bonnie have a headache?)

(. . .)

(You're still not giving me all the details~)

(It does not matter, it will distract you.)

(You're afraid arent you~ You're afraid that things are going to change~)

(As are you.)

(I'M at least trying to-)

(You bite your tongue.)

"Blinding-" (You exclaim.) "Ow."

"Everything alright, Siffrin?" (Odile asked.)

"Oh I just bit my tongue, eating too fast."

"Aw no!!" (Isa said, concerned.) Want me to check if it's ok??"

"So you can kiss it better?" (You reply, almost instinctually.)

"!??!?!!!?!?"

"HA!"

"Get a ROOM you two!"

(Isabeaus face was getting off shade, it took you a second before you processed what you just said and what it meant.)

"OH. UH. I DIDNT??? MEAN, UH???"

(you hide yourself in your hat. That's??? So embarrassing?!?!? Oh stars you said that as a JOKE. "I banged my elbow kiss it better." Stupid, stupid Loop! You're making such a fool of yourself.) ". . . S-sorry."

"Noit'sokI'mokit'sfine." (And now Isa was covering his face.)

(. . .)

(Not a WORD from you.)

(There's a bit of an awkward pause before casual conversation starts again. You mostly just zone out untill Bonnie comes back.)

(They looked. . . Fine? It was hard to tell from last time, maybe a bit more tired looking? Nothing physicaly wrong, not that it looked like, they caught you staring at stuck out their tongue at you and make a "nyeeh" noise. You stick your tongue out back.)

"Quite done, you two?" (Odile said without looking up.)

"'Frin started it."

"Did not."

"Did too!"

"Alright maybe I did."

(Mirabelle gasped.) "Siffrin? Admiting to cheekyness??"

"Truly a dark day." (Odile commented.)

(You all chuckle.)

(Here again. Back at the explination table. You know you could keep the loops a secret this time, but no. You needed help, you did ask for it after all~)

(Might as well make it fun, though. You look around and see a few scraps of note paper, you grab one and quickly write something down. Next, who to pass it to. . .)

(Odile is still in her book, Mirabelle was checking on Bonnie, Isabeau. . . Passing a note to Isa right now's a bad look. Nille, then. You crumple the paper into a ball and gently throw it at her as she's about to take a bite of food. She pauses and looks at you. You hold up a finger and wink.)

(You lean back in your chair.) "Let's skip going to the defenders, when we head there later today it just becomes a whole mess."

"You looped again!?!?--" >> "--I'll look for one of those next time."

(You hear a stiffled laugh come from Nille, looking over, she had de-crumpled the note and looked at it. She gave you a look and held it up.)

"So do you just have the whole crabbing day memorized, Siffy?" (The note was that whole exchange written down. Nille passes the note to Mirabelle to look.)

(You stick out your tongue.) "Maybe~"

"What's our next line then, Siffrin." (Odile had closed her book, now quite curious.)

"Well, bonnies next line is 'that's crabbing stupid.'"

"Language."

"No that comes after Bonnies line." (Ok this is kind of fun actually)

"Alright, but what's your next line." (Mirabelle says, curious.)

(You nod.) "That this will be try number four, or five, First was me and Odile at the library, rest of you to the Defenders place, Bonnie came running back to us because Mira was framed for kidnapping Bonnie."

"!?!?!?--" >> "--Language."

(There's a bit of a pause as everyone catches up to the exchange that just happened, and laughs.)

"Well, at least you're making light of it?"

"Tee hee, I try~" (Now, how to explain things quickly.) "Next loop we all went to the Defenders and bumped into an old friend of Isabeaus, going by Ramos now. We got split up, Ramos and Isa were acting suspicious, we confronted Ramos and they had a wishing star pendant like from yesterday. There was also a strong mint smell around. And then last loop Mira Isa and Odile went to figure out if mint was a sign of anything."

"That's, quite a lot to take in." (Said Odile.) "Well, did we find anything?"

(You nod) "Yep, a strong mint smell is assosiated with Mind Craft. It makes sense really, with how Isa and Stardust acted~"

". . . Stardust?"

(You wince. Stars! STARS! Oh great you were just TALKING and explaining things and DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Alright, fine, fine, you'd have to explain this anyways probably.)

(You could try again.)

"R-right, aha, well. . ." (You shook your head, lights, camera...) "Well it's a bit of a story, Mirabelle had the wonderful idea that we take a loop to rest up! Oh very, very thoughtful~"

"Uh, th-thank you?" (Mira looked confused, well, everyone did a little.) "Did, did it go alright?"

"Oh it did! For a bit. And then our good friend Ramos showed up. Stardust, Siffrin, thought it would be a wonderful idea to talk to them to figure out a few things. Buuuuuuuut then Ramos grabed their hand and he started acting ~very different~"

(You felt like you were going to have a heart attack. When was the last time you talked to your party? REALLY talked to them. It was on the final day, wasn't it? And even then you were all worried about Stardust. You just need to keep acting.)

"Let me guess. Siffrin was effected by mind craft in some way, but you weren't?" (Odile, like usual, was ahead of the curve.)

"Correct~ Hello by the way, your friendly neighborhood Loop here to help~"

"Oh! Good to talk to you again then!" (Mirabelle said excitedly.)

"Yeah. Lot cooler than 'Frin." (Bonnie said all cheekily.)

"A devistating blow to someone not even here. Are they around at all, by the way?" (Odile asked.)

"Well. . ."

(We shouldn't bring him to front. They are likely still effected by mind craft.)

(And how would you know that?)

(I don't.)

(Exactly. You tap your chin.) "Well I could get them, but we're worried that mind craft is still effecting him."

"Still?"

"But, didn't you turn back time?!?"

"Yeah, it never happened then, right?"

(You shrug.) "Kinda. Memories stay. Our body keeps some of it's changes, scars and muscle growth, but not wounds. We keep our fighting experience too, naturally. And for some reason, equipment."

"Oh right... Like the bow my classmate got me." (Mirabelle touched their bow, the same one.) "That really hurt my head to think about."

(Nille rubbed her head.) "Well if you get them we can check easily. And if Siffy's still gotten mind crabbery we'll..."

"Then we make sure Loop doesn't get effected either!!" (Isabeau said confidently.)

"Or undo it. It should be easy enough, unless-" (Odile starts)

"-it was powered by a wish." (You finish with her.)

". . This is weird." (Nille says.)

"Give me a day and I could recite those two days in Dormont by heart~"

"Even the sleepover?"

"Especially the sleepover."

(You all chuckle a bit at that. It's. . . Kind of nice, being able to be open about this. Even if you wish it could be in better circumstances.)

"I've got two plans today." (You say, as you take another bite of food.) "First, we'll all check on Stardust and see how he's handling things~ "

"Rude to talk and eat, Loopert." (Nille sais smugly.)

(You choke on your food. Loopert?!?!)

"Hah! Loopert."

"Hehe. It's a cute nickname."

(You sink down in your cloak and quickly finish that bite of food.) "Any chance we could rethink the nickname?"

"No!!! You're Loopert now!!!"

(Great.)

(Well if we they wont remember at least.)

"Alright alright, well the other thing I want to do is try talking to Ramos agian."

"Huh."

"So daring..."

"Are you sure about that, Loop." (Mirabelle seemed worried.)

"Well, I'm curious how they'll react. The last two times we've bumped into eachother they've been. . . acting strange. Oh, and I would like to talk to them one on one if possible."

"You do realize if that mind craft stuck this could be increddibly risky." (Odile looked concerned. Understandibly so.)

"I'd like to be around in case they try anything. . ." (Said Isabeau.)

(You nod.) "Well, if you all could stay nearby in case something does happen, that would be great."

"Why do you need to talk to them alone anyways?" (Nille asked.)

"W-well. . ." (How to put this.) "I don't want to be rude, but you all are terrible actors."

"Ah. . ."

"Oh. . ."

"Ouch, but fair."

"Sorry." (You shrug.) "One of the best advantages of not talking about the loops was knowing exactly how things go. But we made a promise to not keep secrets soooo~"

"No no, I understand Loop." (Mirabelle looked a bit dejected.) "I don't know if I'd be able to keep a straight face."

"Heh, I could do it." (Bonnie said smugly.)

"Sure you could Boniface." (Nille replied.)

"Yeah!!! I could!!!"

"I'll go sign you up for theater classes then."

"NO!!!!"

(Heh, that would be a sight to see.)

(At least we have a plan.)

#ANYWA BACK TO YOUR SCHEDULED PSYCHOLOGICAL HELLSCAPE #isat #in stars and time #isat art #isat fanart #siffrin system au #sifstem #isat spoilers #isat loop #isat mal du pays #isat siffrin #isat mirabelle #isat odile #isat isabeau #isat bonnie #isat nille #isat fanfic #isat au #sifstem main story

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coallise · 3 months

Text

They're coming

Zestial is having a nice walk when he stumbles on a pregnant sinner in labor.

I pulled it from my meh section. I figured it was fun enough to share.

Life was cruel, and hell moreso. Yet there were moments Zestial was shocked at how cruel. He was taking a late night walk when he saw her. A pregnant woman who was struggling. Dirt and blood matted her white hair, her clothes torn to shreds. Yet the fire in her eyes was still burning like an inferno.

Zestial raised his cloak and then dropped it so the pair were in his apartment.

“What do- ah,” The woman clutched her stomach.

“Is thou alright?” Zestial asked, suddenly wondering if he should have brought her to Rosie and not his apartment. The blood, however, might have set her subjects off.

“They’re coming,” she panted.

“I will fight them off.”

“No, tonto, the baby is coming,” she whimpered. Zestial froze before grabbing his phone. He called Rosie three times before she answered.

“Zestial? It's three in the morning?”

“Apologies, I have a woman in my apartment.”

“...is your love life so bad that you want to brag about it?”

“She is having a baby.”

“In your apartment?”

“Correct, what do I do?”

“Ok, first, towels, warm water and make sure there's no fabric stopping the baby from coming out, I will be there as fast as I can.”

Zestial grabbed the supplies Rosie asked for. The woman was a bit kicky when he was trying to remove her clothes. Rosie was still in her sleepwear when she finally came. She ordered Zestial around, eventually handing him a light skinned baby with a tuff of blond hair.

“Hold on, there's a second,” Rosie said, and he found himself holding a darker skinned one with a curly white tuff.

“Enchanting,” Zestial whispered, both babies snoozing on his chest as Rosie cleaned up the woman.

“Ok, Zestial, who is she and how did this happen? Last I checked, you’re a sinner, so they're not yours,” Rosie sighed.

“My name is Carmilla, he found me in an alley,” the woman said, groaning as she sat up, “I would like to hold my children.”

Zestial wasn’t paying attention to the adult girls, he was fully in love with the two on his chest. Rosie came over and plucked them off, “hey!”

“Carmilla wants to hold them, why don't you find some manners and make some food? I bet the poor girl is starving,” Rosie ordered.

“Pray tell, where do I buy formula at this hour?” Zestial asked.

“Food for US, not the babies,” Rosie sighed, “at least you know you're in good hands.”

“I still have no clue who either of you are,” Carmilla smiled at her babies.

“Well judging by his reaction, you’re going to learn who we are,” Rosie smiled at the babies, “what are their names?”

“I think I’ll name them Clara and Odette.”

//////

Zestial had learned a lot since Carmilla started to live with him, one of the things was when their daughters were nervous or uncomfortable. Odette showed her telltale signs of distress, like chewing on anything and everything.

“Mine dear,” Zestial said, causing the young girl to jump. They were in her lab, Zestial sitting in one of the chairs, a pot of tea and two cups out, “tell me, what ails thee?”

“Huh? Oh nothing, daddy,” Odette smiled. Zestial raised a brow, she only used ‘daddy’ when she was hiding something.

“Fear not, whatever ails thee, we can face together,” Zestial nudged the chair in front of him. Odette sighed and grabbed a paper from her desk before sitting down.

“Ok, so you know how I wanted to see what our blood types were?” Odette started, tearing the corner of the paper. Zestial nodded, “Me, Clara, and mom all have type O, you have AB.”

“And that troubles thee?” Zestial took a sip of tea.

“An AB can not, like a negative zero percent chance, produce an O baby. It means, well it means mom cheated on you,” Odette closed her eyes, only to open them when Zestial started to laugh.

“Apologies, mine dear, I was not aware thou assumed I was thine sire. Nay, thou sees, I am a sinner, and sinners can not have children of their own.” Zestial rubbed her arm before pulling her into a hug.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” all of Odette’s stress melted off. The fear of a fight and breakup becoming a distant memory.

“Never relevant, I suppose. Thou is mine daughter, blood or nay, and the same to Clara.” Zestial hummed a song, running his fingers through her hair.

He remembered meeting Carmilla, the woman was bruised, bloody and in labor in an alleyway. He took her to his apartment where she had twins right on his floor. His plan was originally to help her get on her feet and send her off, maybe pass her over to Rosie, but one look at the two newborns and he was snared.

“Do you know who our sire is?” Odette asked.

“Nay, does it matter?”

“No, I guess not.”

Clara came in, asking about some tests on the latest weapons when she saw them, “did you tell him?”

“Yeah, apparently he knew from the beginning and just never told us.”

#carmilla carmine #hazbin carmilla #hazbin rosie #hazbin zestial #zestmilla

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ckret2 · 9 months

Text

Chapter 17 of Human Bill Causes Problems And Ruins Relationships On Purpose (title TBD), featuring: Mabel and Ford, not letting their relationship be ruined.

They're gonna be okay.

Also: weird donuts, cool crystals, and summer class.

####

Mabel was out of sight by the time Ford exited the shop—stupid, why hadn't he chased her the second he saw her run? He knew Mabel was fast. He circled the block calling her name—there was nowhere she could have gone, this mixed-use building was surrounded by residential houses—and then he hurried back to the parking garage, worst case scenarios tumbling through his head.

When he spied her leaning against the trunk of Stan's car, he heaved a sigh of relief. "Mabel! You shouldn't run off like that in a strange city. Anything could have happened."

Mabel tightened her crossed arms, glaring at her shoes. "I'm better at taking care of myself than you think."

Ford's shoulders slumped. He stood there useless, the silence thick between them, grappling for something to say to cut through it.

He never did well with these thick, awkward, choking moments—the moment before Stan left home, the moment after Fiddleford left the portal project, all the moments on the phone with his parents or with Shermie when he couldn't think of anything they'd be truly interested to hear about his life or any questions he truly wanted them to answer. He'd lost a lot of relationships in those moments. "Mabel—you're not in trouble, and I'm... I'm not mad at you."

"Being disappointed isn't better."

"I'm not disappointed, either. Just... concerned."

Wrong word. Mabel looked up at Ford with a dark, furious look that reminded him unnervingly of a look Bill had given him a few days ago. (He still hadn't learned to identify this as the hallmark gaze of the defiant teenager.) Then she glared at the ground again. "I wanna go home."

If he took her home, it would be an agonizing hour and a half silence—and what were the odds she'd just run to Bill and tell him he'd been "right," and he'd fill her head with more poison? It was far too late to forbid her from talking to him without exacerbating the situation. Ford could force her to stay right here in Portland until he'd talked to her—he had the keys, the driver's license, and almost fifty years' seniority—but if he did that, she'd tune out anything he said.

And she'd be right to. Who was he to her except the other uncle, the one who'd spent a year lavishing attention on her brother and only asked to spend time with her as a trap to give her a lecture?

He leaned on the car trunk next to her and looked down at the top of Mabel's head. She was wearing a headband studded with rhinestones and plastic ruby earrings. She'd dressed up for this. Ford swallowed hard. "Mabel, I'm an idiot."

She didn't say anything.

"I am. I'm a fool. I put all my skill points in intelligence and zero in charisma." He paused. "Which... that sentence probably makes self-evident." He cleared his throat. "I started out bad at socializing, and not interacting with humans for thirty years didn't make me any better. So I don't have any idea what I'm doing here. But... I asked you to come here with me because I really do want to spend more time with you; and because Bill hurt me, and I love you too much not to make sure you're protected against him doing the same to you."

He put a hand on her shoulder, and when she didn't tense up or pull away, he went on: "I think I tried to do too much in one trip, and it just made what should have been a fun time... awkward for you. But, if it helps, it's awkward for me, too. We can be awkward together. We're on the same side, I promise."

Mabel let out a loud, snotty sniff. "You... really do wanna hang out with me?" Quieter, she asked, "Not just Dipper?"

"Of course I do!" Ford said. "But I don't blame you for doubting me. I... know I've spent less time with you than with Dipper. I thought he needed me more. I'm sorry it took this to make me make time for you like I should have all along."

"Was... was there ever really a crystal store on the highway?"

"There was! I promise! I honestly don't know what happened to it! Maybe when I was coming from the airport Soos took a different exit than I thought? Or maybe a truck got between us and the sign as we were passing it and we didn't realize, but—"

He was getting off topic. The mystery of the crystal store wasn't what was important here. Reel in the puzzled scientist for a moment and be an uncle. "But—I swear Mabel, I didn't make up a story just to get you out here. I truly wanted to go to a crystal shop with you, hand on my heart." He put his hand on his heart. "That's a full finger more sincere than normal."

Mabel let out a choked giggle. She finally looked up at Ford, eyes red, cheeks tear streaked, but fighting to smile through her tears. "Grunkle Ford, I—" She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his sweater. "I'm not trying to ruin summer again, I promise! All I'm talking to Bill about is preschool cartoons and arts & crafts! Sure, he's—he's been nice since I helped him out, but—that doesn't mean I've forgotten who he is or what he can do..."

"Mabel, you didn't ruin last summer." Ford knelt down and hugged her back. "Bill did. Never forget that. I'm just trying to prevent him from doing it again."

Mabel nodded, unconvinced. "He couldn't have ruined it by himself."

"You're right. He couldn't. Which is why I was so wrong to keep the rift secret from everyone in the house but Dipper. I was trying to keep you safe, but you never would have fallen for his lies if I'd armed you with all the information you needed."

He leaned back from Mabel and patted his briefcase. "That's why I'm doing things properly this time! I'm prepared to educate you on every trick Bill has ever borrowed from the books of con artists, cult leaders, and serial manipulators. If you're going to talk to him, you'll know the rules of every mind game he plays before he starts playing them." He unzipped his briefcase and pulled out some of the research materials he'd assembled to prepare for this conversation. "I'm afraid even that might not be enough to fully protect you against his devious tricks, but if you keep your guard up and regularly check in with the rest of the family, then—"

Mabel looked in Ford's briefcase and exploded in a peal of laughter. "Grunkle Ford, are you making me go to school in the summer?! Gross!"

Ford blinked. If this was Dipper, he'd have been delighted at the educational opportunity. This just went to show how much he still needed to learn about Mabel, too. "Come now, Mabel. There's no greater defense against the shadowy forces of deception than the light of knowledge!"

Mabel laughed again. "You nerd!"

Ford grinned. "But, I'll try to make it fun, too."

"Okay, I'll take your psychology class. Bill-proof me! Arm me with knowledge!" She raised her arms like she was flexing her biceps.

"Great!" Ford rummaged through his briefcase. "I'll start with the broad strategies I've seen or heard of him using to isolate his victims, then narrow in on specific tactics he uses to steer conversations his way. First we'll go over the B.I.T.E. model of authoritarian control, and—"

Mabel put a hand on his shoulder. "How about we start with lunch?"

Ford paused, then let out a huff. "Yes, of course. We should eat."

They got in the car and went looking for a restaurant.

####

They had lunch at a burger place, and Ford told Mabel everything he could think of about how Bill operated—all guided by copious research notes.

To his relief, Mabel never got bored. Instead, she immediately related his lesson back to things she'd already seen Bill do: how easily he'd gotten her, Dipper, and Soos to do his job for him inside Stan's mind, or how he'd tried to turn Mabel and Dipper against each other during Mabel's puppet show. When she admitted what Bill had said to make her worry about talking to Ford, he confessed how Bill had turned him against Fiddleford—and how he'd done it with just a couple comments. All he'd had to say was that Fiddleford might not be committed enough to the portal project, might not be bold enough to finish, and Ford's mind had done the rest.

Ford hadn't even told Dipper about that part—instead, he'd just let Dipper read it in his journal. Ford had yet to so much as talk to Fiddleford himself about it. It was shameful to admit out loud; but less so when he knew he was talking to someone else who'd very nearly been fooled the same way—and that sharing his story might save her from repeating it.

They wrapped up lunch, moved to a nearby shop called Druid Donuts for dessert, and continued their conversation on one of the picnic tables outside. Mabel got a donut wizard with a pretzel stick wand and purple cream filling, and Ford tried out a donut with jelly beans on top. The jelly beans were kinda stale. He plucked them off and ate them anyway.

Mabel sighed, "Grunkle Ford, I'm so sorry I let Bill make me doubt you."

"Bill has that effect on people. When I had this same talk with Dipper, he tried to shoot me with the memory gun in case Bill was possessing me."

"Dipper never mentioned that!" Mabel laughed; but it quickly petered out as she remembered who had ultimately gotten memory gunned over Bill.

She gazed thoughtfully down at her wizard. (She'd eaten off one of his arms, half his robe, and licked out the purple cream filling.) "What made Bill so awful?"

"I sorely wish I knew," Ford said. "I spent half my life trying to find out where he came from, along with how to defeat him. All I ever learned is that he's from a two-dimensional realm—and he destroyed his dimension, friends and family included, for power."

Mabel's eyes widened.

"But... why? I still don't know. He told me he found his home 'restrictive'—but I imagine any limitations would feel restrictive to someone who's seeking omnipotence, so I have no idea what that truly means." Ford looked down at his donut. He'd plucked off all the jelly beans and sorted them into two piles on a napkin, one of regular beans and a smaller one with a few deformed ones. He popped a couple of beans in his mouth.

"It's weird," Mabel said. "It's like... I'm trying to hate him, but it's hard. It was easy last year! And I know who he is, and I know that all this"—she pointed at Ford's bag full of notes—"is going on in his head, but—when I talk to him, he just seems like... not a different person, but a—a normal person. I don't want to not give that person a chance just because he's Bill. You know? Does that make sense?" Mabel grimaced. "Or is that just how good he is at acting?"

Softly, Ford said, "I think it does make sense. Actually, even after everything he's done to me... since he's been locked up with us, I've—had a moment or two like that. I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I think it's a natural side effect of being in such close proximity to him."

Ford had been thinking a lot about his bizarre burst of compassion on the night Bill burned off his hair. He'd wondered if, maybe, putting a human face over Bill had made Ford see him as a new person. But that wasn't right. Like Mabel had said: Ford didn't see this human Bill as a different person, but rather...

Ford had obsessed over Bill for thirty years. He'd combed the multiverse for information about Bill's history, his state of existence, his potential weaknesses. But in all that time—in all that time, he hadn't once spoken with Bill.

He'd spent half a lifetime moving amongst people who saw Bill as a symbol, a legend, a cosmic force. He'd come to see Bill the same way. A threat, a target, an idea. He'd spent so many years picking a scant few hours of conversation with Bill to shreds that—he was now beginning to realize—he'd half convinced himself that Bill didn't actually have an identity beneath his lies.

It wasn't that seeing a human face made Ford forget that this person was Bill. It was that seeing a human face made Ford remember that Bill was a person. Ford had gotten so used to hating Bill the symbol; had he ever learned how to hate Bill the person? Or had he just let himself believe Bill wasn't a person at all?

Treating Bill like an idea rather than a person was useful enough when Bill was some distant foe. But now Bill was here. Ford couldn't let himself go soft just because Bill was capable of filling space in a window seat and tripping on the furniture and waking screaming from nightmares and regretting a stupid haircut.

Bill had been a person every other time Ford had tried to kill him, too. And that didn't change the fact that he needed to die.

And Mabel—who had so much less practice with hatred than Ford had—was struggling with the same thing.

"You want him to make sense," Ford said. "I understand that completely. Once we see somebody as a person, it's hard to see them as a monster, even if that's what they are. Our minds think monsters want to destroy the world, not play weird chess games. Seeing him as just a monster would be safer for everyone—but, as long as he's imprisoned and powerless, all he can do is be a person."

Mabel thought that over. "Yeah," she said. "You can hate somebody or you can get to know them, but you can't do both."

Ford could think of a few people he'd only hated more the better he got to know them, but he supposed Mabel was kinder than him. "More or less."

"How do you deal with it?"

"By avoiding him."

Mabel's gaze dropped back to her donut wizard. She ate his wand and other arm.

Ford took a deep breath. "Mabel... knowing everything you know now, do you still want to keep talking to him?"

Her neck sank down into her turtleneck. "Do I fail your class if I say yeah?"

Ford smiled sadly. Was she too kind for her own good, or—like Ford—too curious? "I thought you might say that," he said. "Follow-up question: are you prepared to be disappointed when he doesn't live up to your hopes? And I do mean 'when,' not 'if.' You're offering him a charity I don't think he's capable of reciprocating."

If she'd gotten angry, if she'd gotten defensive, he would have worried more. But she laughed and said, "Grunkle Ford, last summer I got my heart broken by like, sixteen boys. After that, I can handle finding out the evil demon triangle I'm trying to reform is still an evil demon. I'll be impressed if he ever gets an opportunity to kill one of us and doesn't take it."

Ford chuckled, relieved. "I think you deserve to hang out with people you can hold to higher standards than that."

"I do! But the other people I hang out with don't wanna watch the same shows as me. I don't think I can make you understand how important that is."

On the one hand, that struck Ford as a very thirteen-year-old priority. On the other hand... He winced. "Actually... for a while, he was the only person that would play Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons with me."

"WHAT! What kind of character did he play!"

"None. He always wanted to be the dungeon master," Ford said. "He ran very strange campaigns. And had a weird fascination with princesses with eyeballs for heads. And, in retrospect, it was probably a red flag when he decided to portray the God of Long Odds as a one-eyed golden triangle."

Mabel at least had the good grace to bite her lip instead of laughing at Ford.

"Well. I don't think you should want to talk to him. But, if you do... then you have a rare opportunity. Perhaps the first in multiversal history. Bill's our captive, he seems to trust you, he's motivated to make you trust him... I think if anyone's ever had a chance of finding out what made him like he is, it might be you. Perhaps you'll get your question answered."

"Grunkle Ford..." Mabel grinned slyly. "Are you saying that you want me to talk to him? Like, as a spy?"

Ford grimaced. "If I said that, that would make me a terrible uncle. I should be doing everything in my power to steer you away from him. I know that would be safer for everyone and healthier for you." He paused. "But. I can't control you. And as long as you've decided to talk to him anyway—I want to know everything you learn."

Mabel laughed. "You got it!"

"Final advice: don't trust anything he says, assume everything he does has an ulterior motive, and never agree to do anything he asks without twenty-four hours away from him to consider it. And keep talking to us—to me, to Dipper, to Stanley. He might fool one of us, but he can't fool all of us."

"Yeah!" Mabel raised a hand. "Pines power!"

"Pines power." Ford high-sixed her, then finished up his donut. "Well, I think this was very educational for both of us." He stood. "You've still got your $50. Want to go back to the crystal shop?"

####

They grabbed a big green box of donuts for the family and headed back to Lunar Blessings. While Mabel was agonizing over several fun-colored crystals, Ford wandered back toward the statue of Bill. He had to do something about this. "Excuse me." He waved down the shopkeeper. "Do you happen to know where this sculpture came from? The name of the artist, or...?"

She came over to study it. "I think we get all of these from a studio in the Bahamas, but I don't remember the artist off the top of my head. Why?"

He tried to think of a lie that sounded more realistic than the truth—maybe if he said he thought he recognized the art style and wanted to know if an old friend had made it, she'd be willing to dig up the artist's name?

He decided to go with a story that might get this thing off the shelf faster. "Because that particular depiction of the Eye of Providence is associated with a dangerous cult."

Her brows went up. "You're sure? It's a common symbol."

"Giving it eyelashes and a bow tie isn't. Trust me: either the artist is a cultist, or they got the design from somebody who is."

"Cult's a... pretty loaded word." (Ford grudgingly respected her for her wariness. She probably dealt with somebody calling something-or-other in this shop "cultish" on a daily basis.) "How do you know they're that bad?"

"Because once I got in, it took me thirty years to get out."

The shopkeeper's demeanor changed immediately. "Oh," she said. "I'm sorry. We get these in bulk with a lot of other sculptures, I thought it was just some obscure... Are these people dangerous, or—?"

"Not as much as they used to be, I don't think. Their founder's incarcerated. But... the kind of people who'd be eager to buy this probably aren't the people you want to sell to."

As she eyed the sculpture skeptically—probably deciding whether she found this stranger's story credible enough to warrant taking merch off her shelves—Ford asked, "Do you think you could find the artist? With the founder gone, I... I've been wondering how his other victims are faring." There wasn't much point in pushing further to remove the item. He'd given the shopkeeper enough to think about, and he doubted one more statue on one more shelf would really do any harm while Bill couldn't use its eye.

She hesitated, then nodded. "I'll check our records. If we don't have it, you can give me your contact info and I'll let you know when I find out."

"Thank you." What would Ford say if he did meet another of Bill's victims? He'd known a few, very distantly, thirty years ago; Bill had told him who he could go to to get art, much like the sculpture in this store. Back then, he'd felt like he was in a secret society—a real secret society with real secrets, not like the corny social club styling itself a "secret society" he'd joined in college—with the double secret that none of the other members knew that Ford was the society president's favorite. In retrospect, they'd probably thought they were Bill's favorites, too.

He supposed he'd find out if he ever met the artist.

####

Mabel found a little pink cat figurine, a string of small nazar eye beads she thought would be great for crafts, an extremely small crystal naturally colored like a watermelon slice, and a bracelet made out of tiny colorful rock chips arranged in a rainbow. The shopkeeper wasn't able to find the artist's name before they left; but Ford left his name, address, and the shack's number on a piece of receipt paper so she could contact him if she found out more.

As they were leaving, Ford said to Mabel, "You know... if you still like those glass pyramids, I think there's a couple in my study that escaped the purge. You could have one."

"Really? You're sure? You don't have to..."

"I'm sure. They're not magical or dangerous—and I think I'd like for one of them to get new, better associations. Just, keep it in a room where Bill can't get his hands on it," Ford said. "But if he does see it... make up a story about it that will drive him crazy."

Mabel considered that. And then a wicked smile twisted up her face.

####

"Okay, your turn," Mabel said. She was slouched down in her seat with her feet up on the car's dashboard. "Befriend, betray, or betroth: Carl Sagan, the Queen of England, and... a wizard."

Ford sucked in a breath. "Ooh, that's tough." He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "Describe the wizard."

"Greatest wizard of all time! And his beard is like, ten feet long."

Ford pursed his lips as he thought. "Marry the wizard," he said. "As much as I admire Carl's mind, he freely shares his knowledge with the public. Wizards are far more reclusive. Marriage may be my only way to learn his secrets."

"The queen isn't even on the table?"

"I've been a king before, Mabel. Too many social obligations for me," Ford said. "I suppose I'll have to befriend the queen. I can't afford to make any more powerful enemies. Anyway, it could give me an opportunity to ask about some of the legends surrounding Buckingham Palace."

"So you'd betray...?"

Ford frowned deeply. "This game is vicious."

Mabel laughed. "I won't tell him!"

"I appreciate it," Ford said. "All right, your turn. Befriend, betray, or betroth: a president, a movie star, and an astronaut."

Mabel paused. Mabel thought about the guy on the $10 bill—who, she was sure, was definitely a president, or else they wouldn't have put him on a bill. Mabel said, "Which president?"

He'd meant the concept of a president, but. "Uh..."

Mabel gasped and sat up straight. "Grunkle Ford, look!" She pointed out the driver's side window.

"Wh—?" Ford gaped as they drove past a tall pole topped with a gray sign. The sign read, "OCCULTED CRYSTALS". Beneath the words was a glass window shaped like a cut diamond.

"Is that—?"

"That's it!" Ford swerved into the exit lane. "You're not getting away this time, you sonofagun!"

"I've still got like two dollars! Let's do this!"

They celebrated and congratulated each other as they descended onto the frontage road and made a U-turn under the highway.

On the other side, there was no trace of the sign. All they found was a strip of five nondescript whitewashed storefronts, all out of business, with a narrow weed-filled parking lot in front.

Mabel and Ford exchanged a baffled look.

Ford pulled into the empty parking lot and stepped out of the car. "It was here, wasn't it?" he asked. "It can't have been farther back than this." He squinted to the west, shielding his eyes with his hand. No signs that way, and no trees or buildings tall enough to be hiding one.

"Maybe it's a time travel thing!" Mabel jumped out of the car and ran to the abandoned stores, peering through the windows one at a time to see if any looked like a former crystal shop.

Ford glanced warily at a concrete block along the edge of the parking lot that looked like it might once have supported a pole. "Hmm."

Eventually, when they couldn't find anything, they slunk back into the car, got on the frontage road, took the next U-turn, and got back on the highway.

The diamond-windowed Occulted Crystals sign taunted them from the horizon.

They stared dumbly at it.

Mabel pulled out her phone and snapped a picture.

"What are you?" Ford asked the sign. "Is it invisible on its other side?"

Mabel turned in her seat and peered through the back window as they passed it. "Still visible!"

"Then can it only be seen if you're traveling east on the highway?" Ford mused. "But you'd have to be westbound to take an exit that reaches that location. It's impossible to access."

"What if you're traveling west but you drive the car backwards!"

Ford mulled over that. "For starters, we'd probably get pulled over." Ford glanced down at the car's clock. "It's getting late, too. We can't procrastinate anymore if we want to be home in time for dinner."

The sign had disappeared behind them. Mabel turned back around and settled in her seat. "I think this calls for a follow-up investigation later, don't you?"

Ford grinned. "I had the exact same thought."

####

"... And that's how we realized it wasn't Louisa who had slashed Sarah's tires," Abuelita said, "it was Arthur! Can you believe it? Arthur!" She turned away from the stove to look at Bill, eyebrows raised, making sure he fully appreciated this twist.

Sitting backwards on one of the kitchen chairs, he shrugged. "I can't blame him. Every man has his limit. And Sarah's been pushing his for weeks." He took a swig from a bottle of spoiled grape juice.

"Stop drinking my cooking wine," Abuelita said. "Sure, but Arthur's so passive! I thought he'd have a nervous breakdown long before he ever took action! Anyway, things just haven't been the same since he got arrested."

Bill shook his head sympathetically. "I tell you. This town's bingo hall is really going to the dogs."

The front door swung open, and Mabel's voice drifted in: "Betroth the vampire, of course. And—is it possible to betray a zombie? Do they understand loyalty? When Soos got turned..."

Bill perked up, set the juice bottle on the kitchen table, and got to his feet, immediately drawn to a more rewarding distraction. "I'll get out of your hair," he told Abuelita, and switched to English. "Hey, Shooting Star and Sixer!" He leaned against the kitchen doorway. "How were the crystals?"

"Great! I got a watermelon rock and a cat and some beads and the coolest bracelet!" She raised her hand and twisted it back and forth, making the rock chips click together. "And donuts!" She shoved a big green open box in Bill's face. "You're allowed to take one. Only one."

He grabbed the yellowest one he saw and bit in. "Huh. Piña colada. Weird." He took another bite and leaned around the open box lid to look at Mabel. "So. Did you two have fun?"

"Yes! It was a blast!" Mabel gushed. "We got lunch in Portland, and we talked foreverrr, and we've got more in common than I ever imagined, and we're gonna make more trips to Portland soon! I think it really brought us closer together."

"Huh." Bill's gaze flicked up to Ford. "How about that." Ford's face betrayed nothing. Bill looked back at Mabel and grinned wider. "Glad he's less of a killjoy than I thought."

"Pffft! You know he knows how to have fun," Mabel said. "Mr. God of Long Odds."

Bill's eyebrows shot up.

Mabel squeezed past Bill into the kitchen. "Abuelita, if you want a donut, I'm putting them in the bottom left cabinet with the pots."

"Thank you, Mabel."

"I'm taking Ford to the record store to introduce him to late 80's music," Mabel went on. "And we saw a crystal shop that isn't there depending on which way you're driving! Whaaat! Crazy, right!"

"Oh, you found Occulted Crystals?" Now Bill's grin was aimed at Ford. "I know you didn't get that bracelet there. Didn't figure out how to get in?" He winked. "Do you want to?"

Ford's expression darkened; but before he could say anything, Mabel darted back into the entryway. "No! No spoilers! You'll ruin the fun of figuring it out!"

Bill laughed. "Okay, fine! Just one safety tip: never go looking for it on an empty stomach."

Mabel gave him a distrustful look. "Will that help us get in?"

"It'll help you get back out."

She nodded slowly. "Good to know." She hugged Ford. "I'll be right back! I haven't been to the bathroom since lunch." She bounded upstairs.

Leaving Ford with Bill.

Bill simply smiled. "You talked about DD&MD? That takes me back."

"I know what you're up to, you snake," Ford said. "And it's not going to work. At least leave her out of it."

"Hey, you can't blame me for worrying about her," Bill said. "She's such a caring little thing. And you don't have a strong history of family loyalty."

Ford's hands curled into fists; but he forced himself to turn away from Bill without acknowledging him, and headed for his and Stan's guest room.

"But hey," Bill called after him. "I really am thrilled to see you two getting along so well."

Nothing in Bill's tone sounded sarcastic. Ford paused and glanced back at him suspiciously; but then he shook his head and kept going.

Bill's smile faded. He made a rude gesture at Ford's back; then returned to his post at the kitchen table to listen to Abuelita's gossip and make sure she didn't touch the poison.

####

(Thank y'all for not pulling out the pitchforks at the end of last chapter lol. If you enjoyed, I'd appreciate a comment or reblog! Thanks! 💕)

#mabel pines #grunkle ford #(for the art)#bill cipher #human bill cipher #(for the fic)#gravity falls #gravity falls fanart #gravity falls fic #my writing #my art #bill goldilocks cipher

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ggomos-maribat · 9 months

Text

9 | in which nights are spent, kisses are missed, secrets are laid out

Part 9 of No Mr. Wayne You Can't Adopt Me! | Masterlist

"Hello? Damian?" Marinette tucked her phone between her ear and shoulder as she continued sorting out the files. "Listen, something came up at the office today and Mr. Wayne won't be able to meet you for dinner outside. Sorry, it was an emergency. He said he'll postpone, though! I'm marking his calendar right now."

"Hm. I'm on my way to the restaurant and I believe it's already reserved," said Damian. "Will you be occupied as well? Why not come in place of Father?"

Marinette paused, slowly registered what he had offered, and then smiled. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"I suppose so, yes."

"Really? Didn't you say for it to be a date, one has to harbor some sort of romantic feelings for the other?"

"Yes, I did say that."

Marinette couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. And her reddening cheeks. Kwamis, was that him trying to flirt? When did Damian learn how to flirt?

"Well, are you free?"

"Yes, I am in fact." Marinette practically burst into her boss' office and shoved the remaining documents into his hands. "At seven, right? I'll see you."

She packed all her things in a hurry and sped home on her motorcycle to get ready. Though Bruce would oppose this 'date' of theirs if he knew, she didn't want to miss the opportunity. I'm already off the clock anyway. Let's just hope Bruce won't come crashing our dinner.

***

"Thank you for accepting the invitation on short notice."

Marinette had to admit, Damian cleaned up well. Since the restaurant was on the fancy end, he wore a simple button down that complimented his eyes. Marinette herself had only changed into a red blouse but kept her office skirt.

"I would've been in bed with microwaved dinner and my laptop if you hadn't invited me anyway," Marinette beamed as she took a seat. "Still, I didn't expect you to actually invite me."

"I thought you needed a break from your work," said Damian. "The company seems very busy nowadays. And you're still taking your online courses, aren't you?"

Marinette could've melted on the spot. Damian was always the support behind her like that. At first there were only little gestures: updating her if any of his siblings might come to the office and cause trouble; telling off his father for making her do extra work; dropping off snacks for her when he visited. Soon they became comfortable with texting each other regularly.

"I'll be fine," she assured him. "There will be a big event two weeks from now, so everyone's trying to meet deadlines."

"Are you getting enough sleep?"

"Yes, Damian."

"Eating enough?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "I am, mom."

"Has Father been bothering you too much?"

"It's just the usual," she said. "Actually, I think he's careful not to give me more work because he knows I tend to overwork. You don't need to worry, okay?"

Damian lowered his gaze, staying still for a moment. "You're like Pennyworth," he told her. "People like you . . . you help out people like Father at the expense of your wellbeing. I've seen it take a toll on Alfred sometimes—he is still human after all. I thought you needed a break from all that."

He looked up at her. "If you're taking care of everyone, who's taking care of you?"

Marinette just stared. There were some tears prickling at the back of her eyes but she didn't dare let it take over. Damian had hit close to home without meaning to.

"Ah, you're right." She noticed that her voice was thick. Oh fuck, fuuuck the tears are spilling. "Sorry, I . . . sorry."

"Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, I . . ." She took a deep breath. "I just remembered something. Before, I used to do a lot of favors for a lot of people too. My parents, my friends, even acquaintances. Sometimes I never noticed how many things were already on my plate and so I end up so stressed out trying to please everyone."

To save Paris. To keep the city from crumbling under my watch.

"If you do feel stressed out, I'm here."

"What are you trying to say?"

"What I meant earlier. I . . ." Damian's expression contorted, as if he were looking for the right words. "I've been trying to sort out my feelings recently and I want you to know that I care a lot about you. More than in the sense of friendship."

He likes me back. He actually reciprocates. Marinette's heartbeat stuttered.

"But you know my contract, right?"

"Yes, that is why I won't ask you to—well—enter into a relationship with me. Your job is on the line after all."

Looking to her side, Marinette saw twin doors leading to a spacious balcony. She needed to talk with Damian properly, and it was best they had some privacy. She turned back to him. "Do you mind if we step out?"

Damian quietly told the waiter and ordered the chef's recommendation before leading her to the balcony. Marinette took the liberty of closing the doors and then turned to him. "I just want to get some things out of the way since you confessed to me."

"I know about you," she said in one breath.

"Know about what?"

Marinette subconsciously fidgeted with her hands. "I know. I know everything. Mr. Wayne is Batman, you're Robin, your siblings are the other vigilantes."

He fell dead silent, which worried her a little. Was it a bad idea to tell him that after all? Kwamis, I should've kept my mouth shut. Now he's going to look at me differently and take back his confession and tell his father and I'll be fired from my job and forced to live in the streets forever blacklisted by Gotham's vigilantes—

". . . I see," he finally uttered.

She twisted her fingers. "Are you upset?"

"I don't know . . ." Damian stepped forward. Closer to her. "I shouldn't have underestimated your intuition. I also shouldn't hold it against you since Father's identity is glaringly obvious at this point."

"I trust you, Marinette," he added softly while taking both of her hands in his. "If you know about me, about my family, but still return my feelings then I shouldn't complain. I was afraid I'd need to tell you myself and you will see me differently."

Her eyes widened. "What? No, that doesn't make a difference! I mean, uhm, it makes me understand why you always look tired in the morning or why you're concerned when I go out at night. I'd never think it makes you a bad person."

"What if I told you I've killed people before?"

She bit her lip. "Um, can I tell you another secret?"

He nodded.

"I know your mother."

Damian's eyebrows shot up. "My mother? You know . . . everything that I did?"

"Yes." Marinette drew out a slow slow breath. "Yeah I, uh, I know her and it may or may not be because of my time in Paris as a magical girl saving Paris from akuma attacks."

"Ladybug. That was you?"

"Basically."

"And mother was . . ."

"My teacher of sorts."

She let him take it all in but couldn't read his face. Is he too shocked? Amazed? Sad? Angry? Betrayed? Is he going to walk out of the restaurant?

"I wanted to tell you so you know fully what kind of person I am," she quickly supplied. "I don't like keeping secrets from people I'm close with after hiding one for so long."

"It . . . it all fits, I suppose," said Damian with a squeeze to her hands. "You're a hero."

"Former hero," she shrugged.

"You still are. It must've been hard to shoulder that responsibility."

"You have no idea." Marinette chuckled. " . . .So?"

He blinked. "So?"

"You still, er, like me?"

"Of course I do. Nothing will change." Closer. Closer. He pulled her gently closer to him. "What about you?"

"I like you a lot. I really do."

His lips look . . . inviting.

"But?"

"There's no 'but'." She shook her head. "That's it. I like you."

His head lowered down to hers, gaze flickering downwards. He was so close, close enough for her to feel his breath fanning on her skin. But at the last second, she pulled away.

"Sorry we can't." She looked up at him apologetically. "Not yet."

"Oh . . ."

Instead of a kiss on the lips, Marinette tiptoed to press one on his cheek. "It's okay. I'll get this to work out." She squeezed his hands. "Trust me."

bonus deleted scene: here

#this is the penultimate chapter :)#maribat fic #maribat fanfic #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #maribat #dc x miraculous #NMWYCAM #PA!Marinette

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tarotwithdanise · 1 year

Text

10 things that April will brings to you.

This can be realizations you will feel, new hobbies, your career and finances, love and relationships, blessings or negative outcomes that you might be experiencing.

༉ ‧ ₊ ˚ how to choose a pile? ✧ . ˚

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

MASTERLIST - PAID READING SERVICES - TIPPING JAR

1 - 2

3 - 4

Pile one

You'll travel and meet a significant person. It's an important destination for you or for this person where you'll learn and grow as individual through new experiences and discoveries ; can be a place of having power spiritual. Or if not, you will be moving into cold location.

You'll finally release and forgive an old anger and resentment that will make your wishes come true. This is about forgiving yourself and be cleared by toxicity.

Moving to a new home or get promotion at job or a raise to salary will happening or new career path is possible before this year ends. About your career path, you should trust your intuition and follow what it's saying to you. Financial improvement is about to come with this month.

A toxic relationship will end ; your relationship with yourself such as self-sabotaging or if not, a relationship that cause to much pain for you and you can finally cut off a toxic partner from your past.

A business idea will be successful.

A new hobby will be unlocked : planting a garden with plants, vegetables and flowers or if not, you will likely spend more time with nature.

Some of your manifestations will begin to blooming.

One of your prayers will be answered this upcoming holiday season especially Easter.

A vacation for yourself and loved ones - this family get-together will results a healing for you with any negative patterns that might be happening between with you and them.

You will going to let go of old habits such as worrying and overthinking a lot and changed it to a better perspective like everything will work out in the best and right time.

Pile two

If you already have business, it will likely to bloom with this month. Your business will experiencing a healthy transition. Or if not, you will start writing your ideas about your upcoming business.

You will be prepared and open for new love and relationships that will go on your way.

You won't care about how others view you anymore, you starting to dress how wanted to be and what makes you happy without the approval of others.

You are likely to meet or join a group promoting gender equality. They might be older than you and so fun-loving individuals.

Buying lavender perfumes or oils to make calm yourself. Buying a flower for someone is likely to happen as well.

Anxiety and exhausted may come so make sure you are getting enough rest and eat healthy foods.

You will made a clear to free yourself from old debts.

Someone will be moving in, moving out or visiting your house.

Someone will be assertive and will tell their true feelings to you or vise versa.

Mixed feelings will come for this month ; it will make you sad and happy at the same time.

Pile three

*if just in case you find yourself attracted to pile one, you can the read the messages that has been read there.

You will stop identifying yourself as a victim and starting to see yourself as a powerful individual.

Congratulations because you might get married. Or if not, someone who is close to you is getting married with this month and you will likely meet a person that will play a big part of your life with this wedding.

An unborn baby girl' soul is sending love to you. (Maybe someone in your family or relatives is currently pregnant. ) Or if not, a girl from heaven is with you all the times and protecting you like an angel.

A healing upon to parent- daughter/son relationship. Or if you were a female, you are likely to receive a message from your parents.

Some time to rest and relax a little bit.

You should trust the synchronicities that may occur. If your guys telling you this a "no" trust that.

You will take an extra class if you were a student or if not, there's a lot of things that will be happening in your school with this month. Or something like a sudden activity of your school will held in an exotic location or place.

You will spend more time outdoors to reconnect with your spirituality.

A sudden issue may come, if this eventually happens - talks to people whom involved with situation in order-to double check your facts.

Healing. If you have a problem about your health it may improve with this month.

Pile four

You will realize that one of your life purpose is to involve working with children or your inner child will play significant role with this month.

Visiting or moving to a location where the leaves and trees are bright and healthy.

You will start believing with yourself and your abilities and how this can get far. Remember, positive thoughts is attracting a favorable outcomes.

An important message from a psychic that will lead you to a huge realization about yourself, they will validate and praise your intuition that will bring enhancement regarding to your confidence when it comes to spirituality.

You will start writing a book or articles.

You will start eating healthy foods and drinks and there's a high possibilities that you will start dieting. You promise to yourself, that this month is about eliminating toxic chemicals and foods for your body.

You will spend more time with a place where it's has a lot of flowers ; a flower field.

Someone is planning a surprise for you (I am very hesitant if will still includes this because it's a SURPRISE but yeah you don't have a clue about who is this person.)

You will finally allow other people to get to know the real you. And you will face the fears heading-on.

You will make time to heals and work on past hurts.

𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣𝆤𝆣

⪩ ⪨ ⠀⠀♡ ⠀⊹ · 𓋜⠀ ⠀⠀!

I'm not quite sure what time this pac will be posted but yes, I put this on my queue so it will be scheduled posting today just not quite sure what time 😭

Hope this make sense, Danise.

#April #divination #tarot #spirituality #spiritual #tarotcommunity #cartomancy #pick a card #pick a pile #fortune telling #free tarot reading #tarotblr #witchblr #witches of tumblr #magick #astrology #danisetarot #daninixx #oracle cards

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burninlovebutler · 1 year

Text

Just an Intern // Part 3

pairing: austin x makeup artist!reader | word count: 8.7k-ish

warnings: angst, smut, FLUFF???, confusing arrogant asshole!austin, one bed, alcohol, hot tub 👀, fingering, play fighting, lots of dialogue, fries lore lol, truth or dare, name calling, physical altercation, yelling, screaming, crying, i am so sorry (but not really), 18+ MDNI

summary: while the set of Bikeriders remains buried under snow, you're imprisoned at the nearest ski lodge, in the last vacancy with none other than your arch nemesis. as the novelty of a packed resort wears off quickly, you find yourself on a drunken adventure led by an unexpected partner in crime... literally.

PART 1 | PART 2 | see my masterlist for all other fics ♡

vibes: just an intern spotify playlist ⛓️

Let's cause a little trouble Oh, you make me feel so weak I bet you kiss your knuckles Right before they touch my cheek

But I've got my mind, made up this time 'Cause there's a menace in my bed

Can you see his silhouette?

A glaring white morning light lulled you from your slumber. You were so warm and comfortable…. too warm and comfortable. Your eyes shot open and your body stilled completely the minute you sensed a heavy arm that was wrapped around your waist and a body pressed against your backside.

What the fuck

Last night’s events raced through your mind, remembering your transgressions with the actor vividly, but the end was quite fuzzy. All you remembered was going to shower then coming out to a completely dark room with Austin sleeping at the far edge of the twin sized bed, facing away from you. Then you slipped into bed, turned the opposite direction and fell asleep.

How the fuck did you end up being little spoon to the man that told you he’d rather rot in hell than sleep next to you. You stared at the wooden wall, following each swirl as if it would give you the answer to get out from this death trap of impending doom. You decided to take the plunge and try to slip from his grasp. A slight sleepy groan rumbled behind you made your eyes squeeze shut, like you were expecting a bomb to go off.

You knew exactly the song and dance it would ensue – some furious accusation and an insult.

Much to your surprise you felt him freeze just as you did then try to escape quietly. The realization hit that he perhaps didn’t know you were awake either. I mean realistically what would he reprimand you for? He was wrapped around you, what was he going to claim? That you forced him to play big spoon?

You chose to keep your place, taking advantage of the predisposition that you were still asleep. Besides it would give you just a sliver of peace before you had to go back to his ‘Intern’. There was a slight tug of sheets, then a cold emptiness when he pulled from the mattress.

He let out another hushed grunt then, “Fuck.” He mumbled to himself silently. You curiously opened one eye to observe him. He rounded the bed going to the dresser, tapping his fingertips across the top like he was looking for something. His hand landed on a pair of black rimmed glasses you hadn’t noticed when you went to bed in the dark. You couldn’t help but prop up a subtle brow.

Wanting to savor this little secret you stumbled upon, you decided to ‘wake up’ giving a performative stretch before cocooning yourself in the duvet. “Glasses huh?” You held back a ‘caught ya’ smirk, then a stifled giggle when you noticed him jump a tiny bit at the surprise.

He turned at the startle and instantly rolled his eyes. He hadn’t been awake not even 5 minutes and he was already annoyed with you. “Yes, I wear glasses, big whoop.”

“Well, I just didn’t know.” You tugged your bottom lip in trying not to laugh at his obviously embarrassed reaction.

“There’s lots of things you don’t know about me, Intern.” He spat back, turning to the phone ringing – to the tune of… Burnin Love? by Elvis? You were learning more about this man than you cared to know. He snatched his phone so fast, before it even got to the ‘hunka hunka’. Another thing he was clearly embarrassed about.

“What’s up?” While he spoke into the phone you found yourself distracted by the muscular lines of his bare back, just then noticing he was shirtless. His skin was golden and was toned like a swimmer. You followed the curvatures of his body down to were they met small dimples in his lower back then disappeared into blue stripped pajama pants.

His evidently aggravated groan snapped you out of your expedition down his body.

“Fucking great.” Bringing his hand to both temples. “We’re still fucking snowed in. We’re stuck here until tomorrow at least.”

Fuck

“I take it there are no other rooms available?”

“No Intern, obviously not, the roads are closed. Nobody can fucking leave.”

You both went your separate ways and you couldn’t have been happier, finally getting a moment to breathe and relax. There was a tiny café within the resort that you hid in most of the day taking time to catch up on the book you had been neglecting. The snow outside continued to pile up with no end in sight. Your odds of escaping Austin weren’t looking very promising. While it was what you wanted, there was a part of you – the machoistic part of you – that didn’t want it to end, just yet.

Before you knew it, it was evening and you were trying to avoid the hotel room at all costs, not wanting to risk running into Austin. So, you found yourself at the same bar from the Landon incident yesterday. You pressed your palms against the bar ledge that was littered with your coworkers, including Landon out of the corner of your eye. He sent a chill up your spine, but he seemed distracted by some giggly extra.

“Vodka soda please.” You ordered from the rather attractive bar tender. Maybe you could end up in someone else’s bed that night, maybe it would stave off the remnants Austin’s touch left on you. Regardless you had a mission - getting fucking wasted. How else were you supposed to deal with the confusion clouding in your head?

About 2 vodka sodas in, an aggravated sigh came from your left, “You would be here.” Said the exact voice you were trying to elude.

“What the fuck does that mean?” You rolled your eyes turning to him. He wore a plain black shirt that hugged his toned arms, tight dark denim jeans and leather boots.

He shrugged, “You just would.” Evading the question. “I guess I don’t blame you, there’s nothing else open in here at night.”

“Exactly.” You agreed taking a sip of your third drink, sending a warmth through your veins, then down to your core at the sight of his skilled fingers wrapped around a half-drank bourbon on the rocks.

“Last call!” Boomed from the tattooed bar tender.

“What?” You questioned, surprised. You tapped your phone screen to wake the time, “What, it’s only 12?”

“Bar closes at 12 on Sundays.” The worker informed, beginning his closing duties by wiping down the counter.

“Augh.” Austin groaned easily downing the remainder of his drink and harshly landed it on the bar. Without another word he was already out the door, likely at one of the cast’s room parties that had been going on.

You were in no rush to be alone in a hotel room but after a stroll through an uneventful empty lobby you decided to call it a night.

Opening the door to your room you noticed something that had been hiding behind a curtain, a wide open door. Being under the impression that the actor would be in some room party, you hesitantly tiptoed across the room. Your mind ping-ponged between the possibilities.

Maybe a resident had found the wrong room

Maybe you found the wrong room

Maybe the door hadn’t been locked and was swung open by the vicious snowy winds

Maybe it was a ghost

Finally at the door you peered through it from the edge to find… a hot tub? The jetted pool sat on a wooden platform covered by the room above’s balcony. And there sat the asshole right in the middle with another full drink in his grasp.

“Where have you been!” The blonde called out in a playful tune, the alcohol evidently taken over his body. “Did you know we have a hot tub?” His voice almost excited.

“Uh…” The entire scene threw you completely off, you’d never so much as seen this man smile and now, he was lightly playing in the water. “Am I hallucinating or are you actually having a good time?”

“C’mon get in here.” He gestured to join him hurriedly, ignoring your question.

“Austin it’s fucking freezing, you’re insane.” You thought he was even crazier when you realized that he was shirtless, because what else would you wear in a jacuzzi. “I’m not getting in there.” Shaking your head vehemently.

“It’s warm in here c’mon.” His gestures even more exaggerated through the steam that brewed above the water.

You shifted from one foot to another and chewed on your lip weighing your options. What else were you going to do? And who were you to turn down a hot tub?

“Augh fine.” You huffed, peeling your shirt over your head and unzipping then dropping your jeans. A blast of cold wind hit your bare body, covered only in a bra and panties. Your arms immediately wrapped around yourself shivering as you shuffled across the wood slats and up the short stairs.

You let out a relieved sigh once your shoulders were below the warm water across from him. “You’re fucking crazy.”

He gave you his signature eye roll, “Loosen up will ya? You’re always so stiff.”

You couldn’t help but let out loud scoff, “Me? Nah, that’s all you Actor.”

He let a chuckle as he lulled his head back, his arms resting on the edge of the tub. “Yeah, I guess I could stand to loosen up a little.”

“That’s a fucking understatement.” The edges of your lips tied into a smile.

“Hey,” He furrowed his thick brows at you, his face only illuminated by the blue tone of the pool. “That’s not very nice.” A light flick of water propelled at you from his fingertips.

“Hey!” You dodged the attack, “That wasn’t very nice.” Splashing warm water back at him.

“Oh, I don’t think you wanna play this game, Intern.” He brows propped up throwing another wave of water at you.

“Oh, I think I do Actor.” Swimming diagonal from him giving you a new angle to battle him with a rush of water.

He feigned surprise, “You’re goin’ down.” Mimicking your actions, getting you good that time, soaking you completely.

A giggle left your mouth as you attempted to swim in the opposite direction splashing him back once more. You heard another foreign laugh from him matching yours. “No, you’re goin’ down buddy.”

In some miscalculation you ended up near him and mid splashing war you felt familiar sizable hands take hold of your waist pulling you into his lap.

What kinda twilight zone were you in when this menace was play fighting and giggling with you?

After the initial stun of the move, you caught your breath your eyes meeting his. The ebbing waves from the tub reflected into his aqua eyes, the ripples of the water seemed to swim in them.

Silence fell between you both as the laughter had dissipated and the only communication was in your stare. You tried to place his thoughts by analyzing his eyes. At that point you had gotten fairly good at reading him though this sight was new, and you had no clue at what was behind it.

His eyes flickered between yours and your lips, the proximity of him now very apparent. The scent of bourbon laid thick on his breath. Your own air lodged in your throat as you took in the sight of him. Under the glow of the moon, he looked so soft, a lens you’d never seen him through before. He was so exquisite like that - flushed rosy cheeks, drunken glossy eyes and all.

Your entire body froze when his lips met yours, his arms wrapping around your torso. Whether it was the alcohol, the moon or your genuine desire, something let yourself melt into it fully. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you deepened the kiss. You expected him to escalate it with his tongue the way he did before, but he didn’t, his lips just took yours in completely.

You decided to take the plunge and slide your tongue against his bottom lip asking for entrance and he complied. His hands slid up your sides pulling you closer and your hands tangled into the little curls at the nape of his neck. The entire experience was different than any other time you’d hooked up with him, it mirrored his current demeanor – soft, gentle. He wasn’t groping and squeezing like he normally did, he just held you as your tongues danced together.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and found a not surprising prominent bulge beneath you. A groan rumbled in his chest when you pressed your panty-covered warmth against his boxer-covered erection.

As you grinded against him, the feeling of his tip nudging your bundle made you so desperate to relieve the rampant buzzing in your core. It was making you weak and was distracting you from the kiss. You reluctantly pulled from his soft lips and fell onto his shoulder letting out tiny whimpers as he rocked his hips against you.

He pressed full kisses in the curvature of your neck causing a churning in your tummy that wasn’t arousal, but something different. Something familiar but you couldn’t quite place. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.” He mumbled into your shoulder, his voice deep and dripping in liquor.

A short breathy whimper involuntarily escaped you, “You think so?” Your inner voice taking no time in reprimanding you for seeking validation from such a douchebag. His names for you weren’t normally so kind, nevertheless a compliment.

“Mhm,” He hummed against your shoulder, his hand tangling in your hair as he peppered kisses across your skin. “The prettiest.” He whispered below your ear, unleashing a kaleidoscope of butterflies throughout your chest, your ribcage locking them in. You knew it was the alcohol talking but you clung to every word.

You were so needy for him that only small moans left your mouth, “Please Austin, I need your cock.” You breathed out, your heart beating so hard you thought it might pop out. Your hips rutted against his length the wet material of your panties allowing your lips to part around his shaft, teasing him with your entrance. “Please?” Exaggerating your whine.

He groaned at your actions, fingers harshly digging into your thighs. “No.” He said simply, his touch now gliding up your thighs, “Let me take care of you.”

His response took you by surprise, “W-what?” You stuttered but didn’t pull from him. A hand drew up your inner thigh, scorching the skin it passed, then fingers up your panties.

“Let me take care of you baby.” He repeated, his fingertips easily pulling your panties to the side and rolled the pads of his fingers around your clit. A gasp left your lips at the sudden pleasure.

“Fuck.” You faintly muttered against his neck and leaned into his touch. “Please. I need you.” Your right hand tugging at his hair and the left curling into his shoulder.

“I wanna try something, do you trust me?” He asked, the question throwing you off, both at what he could possibly be thinking and whether you knew the answer. It occurred to you that it was the second time he’d asked you that impossible question, the first time in the saloon on set. You wondered on what planet he was living on where he had given you any reason to trust him. If anything, he should be the last person on earth to trust. And yet, you lied, “Hm- Yes.” Curious to find out his idea.

He purred against your shoulder and gently lifted your hips off of him then placed you across his lap. With one hand he slid your panties down your legs and draped it over the edge of the pool. You held onto him by an arm around his neck as his hand slid up your thighs again and spread them wide.

The pads of his fingers once again found your core, rounding your swollen nub then down dipping into your entrance. “Fuck.” You breathed out as his digits curled into your sweet spot. You let him float you to the edge of the tub, it was unclear to you why until you felt the strong stream of water from one of the jets. A sharp gasp fell from your lips at the immediate pressure.

“Oh my god,” Your chest was heaving, and your nails dug into his back. While the jet took care of your clit, his fingers were taking care of your core, fucking you in a way you never thought fingers could. It was rhythmic like a choreographed dance, every pump into your pussy landed in a curl into your g-spot and you never knew you could feel so much pleasure from so many areas at once. Your heart was thumping in your throat with a tight knot in your stomach threatening you to unravel already. “Oh my god Austin.”

“I know baby, I know.” He continued his plight on your neck, trailing passionate kisses all over it. “Feels good doesn’t it?” He asked.

“Y-Yeah- Fuck.” You could barely hear him over the pounding in your ears. His little experiment with you was overriding every nerve, waves of tingling pleasure washing through you, even causing your toes to curl. “Fuck Aus, I’m close I’m so fucking close.” You whined, squeezing your eyes shut barely holding on to your sanity. The bliss was practically numbing your brain, every thought was him, only him. His eyes that could make you wet with just one look, his plump lips that stamped kisses all over you, his skilled tongue against your own and even better on your clit, the curve of his neck and collar bone where you’d place your own kisses, his agile hips that allowed him to drill his perfect fucking cock into you. Right then you could’ve sworn he was some Greek god from the insurmountable euphoria that possessed your body.

His mouth pulled your skin into a suck while his tongue swirled over the darkening spot. “Let it out baby c’mon, cum for me.” His deep voice rumbled against your neck. That and a perfectly synchronized hit of the jet stream on your throbbing bundle and his fingers curved into you, set off your climax. The height of your orgasm ripped through you so violently that your moans were completely silent – which you we’re grateful for because you knew your coworkers were just above you. Your nails dug into his shoulder and your thighs clamped around his hand and you heard him let out a sort of entertained chuckle. If you weren’t underwater your juices most definitely would’ve soaked his thigh completely.

Once fully spent, you fell limp on his chest, heavy breaths flowing into his neck, “Fuck.” You murmured. His arm curled around your waist, pulling you closer against him. The act was so intimate compared to… well any other interaction you’d had with him. He was always so cold and rigid, now he was tender and warm. You blinked up at him, his focus on the stars above you. Even his moonlit features were soft compared to his normal sharp edges. “You sure like to use water fixtures as sex toys huh.” You tugged a lip between your teeth hoping the joke would land.

He took a moment to respond, his brows scrunching together before looking down at you, “Huh?”

You let out a tiny giggle, “Because the faucet on set-“

“Oh oh, yeah!” He boomed a drunken laugh straight from deep in his chest, “Yeah, I guess I do.” Looking down at you, for a moment you couldn’t tell the difference between the stary midnight sky behind him and the twinkling navy in his eyes. “Did you not like it? Because it seemed like you did-“ His voice sounded almost insecure, as if he was worried about disappointing you. The hint of insecurity echoed the one from earlier in the hotel room, about his glasses.

“No, no I definitely do.” You laughed, pulling yourself up to wrap both arms around his neck, straddling him once again. “I’ve just never been with someone so… innovative.” Your lips pressed together to stifle a chuckle.

The joke earned you another hearty laugh from the glowing blonde, which made you realize you’d barely heard him laugh before, nonetheless smile. And right now, he was a grinning mess, and he hadn’t even cum. From the lack of stiffness beneath you it seemed that the alcohol had taken its toll. Under any other circumstances, if there was a more competitive game at play, you would’ve tried your hardest to return the favor. But he was giggly and touchy and the nicest you’d ever seen him, you didn’t want to cut it short, so you laid against his shoulder again just taking in his breathing.

“You’re pretty funny.” He said once he caught his breath from laughing.

“Yeah?” You blushed and a giant grin pulled at your lip’s edges, for some reason you felt embarrassed and hid further into his neck. “I’m glad you think so.” You whispered beneath his ear and molded your body further around his, taking advantage of his warmth. He reciprocated, wrapping you up in his arms.

Silence fell for what felt like an eternity and you thought for sure the moment was about to end, and this unicorn version of asshole actor would disappear. But he surprised you yet again.

“I’m hungry.” He stated simply, “I want fries.”

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, “What?”

“I want fries!” He repeated, matter-of-factly. “We should go get fries.”

“Austin, where the fuck are we gonna get fries? The kitchens are closed and it’s not like we can DoorDash in a snowstorm.” You stated the obvious, sitting up in his lap.

You watched the gears churning in his head as if it was a difficult equation before the most mischievous playful smirk spread across his face. Immediately you knew it couldn’t mean anything good. “Austin,” You warned, propping up a cautious eyebrow, “What are you thinking.”

He practically threw you off of him, landing you to be floating alone in what now seemed like a giant empty ocean without him in it. He scrambled quickly into the hotel room, dripping water across the carpet, only in some plaid boxers. Once the blur of the action caught up to you, you followed suit, nearly flying out of the tub into the freezing cold air. “What are you doing!” You called after him as he hastily dried off with a towel and changed into sweats and a hoodie faster than you’d ever seen anyone move.

The mischievous smile never left his face in his hurried actions and stayed focused on his mission. In that moment you realized you were now babysitting a drunken toddler. Like any good caretaker, you matched his speed but soon remembered your limited wardrobe choices. He was already halfway out the door and the only reasonably warm and accessible choices were another hoodie and pair of sweats from his duffle.

“Austin!” You first shouted loudly after him, stumbling out the door trying to slide fully into your sneakers. Then in a more hushed yell, not wanting to wake the entire lodge at 2 am. “Where are you going!”

“Fries!” He threw over his shoulder as he booked it down the stairs.

“Hey! Slow down!” Taking a moment to catch your breath before following him down the two flights of mahogany stairs. “You couldn’t have taken the elevator at least?”

Finally, you caught up to him, standing in front of the restaurant that hosted the rotating buffet during the day. You leaned over attempting to catch your breath gripping your chest, reminding you that maybe a weekly gym day wouldn’t hurt. “They’re clearly closed Aus.” You huffed out, gesturing your arm at the darkened restaurant. The way it was laid out was that the floor was open so the buffet serving areas and seating were open, but the kitchen was locked. He was bent over eyeing the lock. “You’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking, are you?”

“Hmmm.” He hummed and stood up to face you, he held his tongue between his lips as he seemed to analyze you, then reached into your damp hair and plucked out a bobby pin you had forgotten was in there. He went back to his crouched position, unfolding the metal accessory in his sizable hands.

“No no no.” You whispered, “Austin you’re gonna get us in trouble what are you doing!”

“I’m opening a door that we found, already open y/n, obviously.” He slid the pin into the keyhole and wiggled it around.

“Oh god you’re really doing this aren’t you.” You brought a hand to your temple.

It didn’t take long for the doorknob to click open, probably because the hotel didn’t think patrons would be breaking in. “Aha!” He proclaimed, flinging the door open and turning on the blinding overhead lights. Relief washed over you when you didn’t hear immediate alarms blaring.

“I fucking can’t believe you’re doing this.” You exasperated, dropping your arms at your sides, “You know there aren’t going to be just magically fresh fries right?”

“Relax Intern,” His mission stayed focused on pillaging the stainless-steel industrial kitchen for his desired snack. “I know what I’m doing.” Waving you off.

“Oh,” You placed both hands on your hips, “You break into kitchens often?”

He shot you an unimpressed look, “No, if you must know,” He somehow miraculously found the frozen fries. “I used to work in a kitchen, I know how to make some pretty fuckin’ dope fries.” He inspected the knobs of the deep fryer and clicked it to a high setting.

“Oh, you mean before you were just an actor?” You sassed, crossing your arms across your chest and popping out a hip.

He rolled his eyes at you, “Believe it or not I was once a struggling actor.” The fries sizzled in the oil when he dunked an obscene amount of into the appliance.

“Ah, I see the humbleness didn’t stick around.” You teased back, walking over to the wall and flipped off 3/4ths of the blinding fluorescent lights, leaving only the one’s above the counters.

He shot you another glare, “Keep talkin’ like that and ya aren’t gonna get any fries.”

You contemplated continuing your defiance but ultimately decided the midnight snack was more important. They were already in the fryer after all, might as well follow through.

He drew the fries from the oil, threw them into a giant silver bowl, and salted them like a pro, tossing them in the air and everything.

You ended up on the floor of the dark kitchen, sat across from him binging on the perfectly golden fries and a random wine bottle you’d found. For someone who was evidently wasted, they were beyond impressive. “Damn, you weren’t lying, these are so fucking good.” You complimented then shoved a handful of salty fries into your mouth. On a first date, you’d never eat like that in front of anyone, but this wasn’t a first date, this was a drunken adventure with an asshole.

“I told you.” He went for another fistful of salted potatoes. “I was the best damn line cook that surf and turf place had ever seen.” He sassed, waving a fry for extra attitude.

Your eyes rolled involuntarily, “You so would work at a surf and turf restaurant.”

He feigned insult with a dropped jaw, “What is that supposed to mean!”

You giggled and shrugged, taking a sip from the wine bottle. “You just give that typa vibe.” You teased, covering your mouth to hide the chuckle that threatened to erupt.

“Well, that’s not very nice.” He picked up a fry and tossing it at you. He shot a smirk at you then stole the wine bottle, taking a long swig. His plump lips molded around the bottle opening, his adam’s apple bobbed with his swallow.

You gasped, “You’re not very nice.” You plucked a fry from the heap and hurled it back at him. His gaze turned to a playful one, moving slowly to the bowl scooping a bundle of fries and heaving them at you.

“You’re a fucking child you know that?” Your tone serious but gasping an equal bit of fries while he was focused on your expression, throwing it right back at him. First the water fight and now this? Who the fuck abducted Actor and who was sitting across from you?

“Oh, you’re gonna pay for that.” He sat up on his knees, taking a fistful of your improvised dinner and aimed a bit too close to your face. Your hands immediately covered your eyes, “Ow!” You whined, sitting back on your legs, “You hit my eye!”

Instantly you heard him move the bowl and wine out of the way to cross the gap between you. “Oh my god I’m so sorry.” The hands that normally had been so rough on you, now delicately holding onto your wrists.

“It really hurts.” You whimpered, not moving your hands from your face.

“I didn’t mean to y/n, I swear.” He said softly then gently tugging at your hands. “C’mon let me see, we can wash out your eyes or something.”

A mischievous smirk spread across your lips beneath your hands, taking the fries that landed on you and smushing them into his chest. “Ha! I gotcha!”

Utter shock softened his face once he realized he’d been played. “That’s not fucking funny, I thought I- that I had-“ He struggled to find his words amidst the swirl of competitiveness and deception. It seemed as though his thoughts had halted as he watched your expression. The silence bounding around the industrial kitchen was haunting, unsure as to whether he was actually upset or if he would counter your move.

While you were attempting to decipher his motives, he abruptly took your cheeks into his large hands and pulled you into a kiss. The way his lips felt pressed against yours sent flutters down into your tummy, but they were different than the usual flurries of desire he gave you, these almost made you sick.

It took no time for your own hands to find a home tangled his hair. He inched forward indicating that he wanted you to lay back and you obeyed the silent request, slowly leaning back to land flat against the thankfully freshly mopped floor.

The kiss was tender, not hungry or ravenous, not even pushing to enter your mouth. In that moment, he wasn’t looking for anything more than that.

Your lips stayed locked for what seemed like a lifetime. A part of you almost grew uncomfortable at the intimacy, reflexively wanting to deepen the kiss. That’s all he’d ever wanted before after all, wasn’t it? You’d never had just a kiss before, with no ulterior motives. Why would he?

So, you wanted to fast forward to the part you knew was coming, not wanting to linger in a meaningless moment longer than necessary. You couldn’t afford to hold onto a fantasy, nor did you want to. But every muscle in your body ceased to function. His hands held your face and drew the pads of his thumbs across your cheekbones gently while your fingers traveled through his hair like a maze.

He was the exactly that - a maze, a human embodiment of one. You followed each path of his thinking you figured the way out, only to find you had no idea what you were doing or where you were going. You were trapped within an impossible labyrinth you never meant to enter.

His lips struggled to demagnetize from yours and hovered above your face. His navy eyes swirled reluctance, seemingly lost in some maze of his own. “I uh-“ He sat back on his legs, scratching the back of his head and eyes diverting from you. “We should probably head back to the room.”

And just like that, you reached another dead end in his labyrinth.

When you woke the next morning, the bed was empty. At first it took you by surprise, then a pit formed in your stomach. It was naïve of you to think that your drunken adventures with a rare Austin would change anything, foolish to think that version of him would stick around in the sober daylight. You wanted so badly to believe that wasn’t the truth, but you knew it was.

It dawned on you, why did that pit even form? This was the shithead that tormented you at work, treated you like shit and called you insufferable. In what twisted reality should you be sad that the illusion of a decent human fueled by alcohol didn’t stay for breakfast. At what point did you decide you wanted that version of him to stay? That’s not really what you want, was it? Of course not.

You brought your palms and pressed them into your eyes in a feeble attempt to clear out the thoughts swirling in your head. In a swift fling of the thick bedding, you unglued yourself from the bed, shuffling over to the window to check on the snow status. Thick snow still coated every surface, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as before, which meant that you’d probably be freed from this prison in the next day or two.

“Thank fucking god.” You mumbled to yourself, instinctively tucking your arms into your sides when you felt a chill. It was only then that you realized that you were still wearing his clothes. For whatever reason, you did a quick scan of the room as if someone would see you pulling up the collar of the hoodie taking an inhale. It smelled like him mingled with his cologne, a woodsy musk. You mentally scolded yourself when the tinge of longing filled your chest. Why the fuck would you miss him?

Then the memory of you sitting with him on the kitchen floor flashed across your mind pulling a giddy grin across your lips. “Fucking stop it.” Smacking your palm into your forehead. You shook your head trying to shake out whatever fucked up disease had taken over your mind, that was the only explanation for what you were feeling. The best way you could think of trying to remedy this ailment of yours was to take a long, hot shower. Maybe it’d wash it all away.

Once in the bathroom you let out a groan when you noticed all the towels were used and thrown about. “Fucking men.”

You headed down to the lobby and got the attention of a clerk. “Hi sorry to bother you but could I possibly get some more towels?”

“Sure of course! It’s no bother sweetie.” The middle-aged attendant sweetly smiled before heading into the back office.

She returned with a tower of fresh white towels. “There you go hon.” Placing them on the granite counter in front of you, “Your boyfriend use ‘em all?” She questioned in a joking tone.

You reflexively scoffed, “He’s definitely not my boyfriend.”

“Hm.” She pressed her lips together as if she had more to say but didn’t want to divulge.

“What?” You asked curiously, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Well it’s just- well I remembered you both from the night the snowstorm first hit so-“ She seemed to be trying to piece together some pieces of a puzzle in her head.

“…Mhm?” You urged on curious as to where this could possibly be going.

“So, when we had a vacancy open up yesterday, we called and asked him if he wanted to take it.” You knitted your brows together as you now tried to piece together the puzzle. “And well… he declined. So, I just assumed…”

“He turned down a room to himself?” You repeated for clarification, which was met with a timid nod, obviously feeling guilty for sharing personal information. “I uh, I have to go.” You stated shortly, snatching the tower of towels, “Thank you so much!” You thanked while you quickly made it back to the room.

After your much needed long, hot shower you decided to roam the all-inclusive resort. The only perk of being there was that there was decent amount of things to do during the day. From bars to in house casinos, arcades, spas, even a bowling alley. While you told yourself it was because you were bored, in the pit of your tummy there was a part of you that hoped you’d bump into your…enemy?

You wandered around the wooden halls of the resort with a pamphlet of all your options. Each corridor, room and lobby were decorated in typical lodge décor, animal heads on the wall, buffalo print everything, luxurious fireplaces. Everything except the deer heads was stunning, if you visited under different circumstances the mini vacation would’ve been a tranquil little getaway.

Since Austin supposedly hated you, Landon was a creep and Tom had his own friend group, you were alone. There was a door at the very end of the hallway that intrigued you. Once you peered in you saw a much cozier den-style bar, a huge square sectional couch facing a stone fireplace. On the opposite a very quaint bar. As you scanned the room for possible acquaintances you landed on a group of familiar faces.

“Y/N!” Called Tom, “You’re just in time. We’re just about to play truth or dare!”

What we were in 6th grade?

You locked eyes with your resident tormentor, because of course he’d be there. There was a split second where you thought things would be different after last night but when he gave you a warning look to decline the game offer, you knew it was a pipe dream. That gentle, playful man from the hot tub and the kitchen was gone, just like that. Then, the hatred you’d always felt before piped back into you, like a coffee pot filling with molten hot caffeine. Keeping eye contact with him the edges of your lips curled into a cocky smile, “Sounds great.” You sauntered over to the place next to Tom that faced opposite of Austin.

A few rounds of the game ensued, nothing too juicy at first but the game soon heated up when the group had downed a fair number of drinks. It was a stagehand’s turn to dare Austin. The brunette male, who had been working near many of your interactions together, gave him a playful smirk, “I dare you…” His eyes landed on you, “To make out with y/n.”

How fucking juvenile

You weren’t sure why the absolute jarring panic settled into your stomach, but Austin’s expression of immediate disgust didn’t help.

“I’m not doing that.” He said sternly, his tone oddly irritated.

“Oh, c’mon dude, it’s just a kiss.” The stagehand, Ryan, prodded jokingly.

“No. I’m not fucking doing it, give me a truth.” His brows low and knitted, eyes dark and mean.

“Fine.” Ryan, clearly annoyed and drunk, matched his unnecessarily angry tone, “Have you fucked the intern?” The question hushed every person around the fireplace, an uneasy tension filled in the air.

Blood rushed to Austin’s face and a vein pulsed in his forehead. He was trying to restrain his anger, squeezing his fists to stave it off. Your own steaming coffee pot was on the verge of overflowing.

Whether it was the tequila or something else that fueled you was unclear but you balled up your own fists, and before you could stop yourself, the words flew out, “I’m not a fucking intern!” You boomed out louder than intended and shooting you straight up on your feet.

Austin rolled his eyes, sharply pushing off from the couch, “I’m fuckin’ outta here.” He scoffed, headed for the doorway.

“Answer the question you fuckin’ pussy!” Called a way too far gone Ryan. “We already know the answer.” He added in a cocky snide.

Any sinister look you’d ever seen on Austin didn’t compare to the one that bore into Ryan. You were surprised his fist wasn’t bashed into his face already, if there weren’t so many witnesses he probably would’ve been pummeled to a mush.

“Let’s get this fucking straight.” He hissed, his eyes locked on Ryan, never once glancing at you, like you weren’t even in the room. “I have never and will never put my hands on such a low budget, low level, filthy whore nobody of an Intern.”

Your jaw nearly hit the floor at his words, a consequential dagger speared right through your intestines. You knew he hated you, he called you insufferable. You knew he hated you, you knew it even after last night, but you never expected him to say such vile words about you. A lump formed in your throat and tears welled in your eyes, but you couldn’t cry there – not in front of all your coworkers, not after being completely and utterly humiliated. Every ounce of alcohol in your bloodstream fueled your stomp over to him and didn’t even realize what you had done until you felt your palm stinging like a bitch from landing on his face. His hand instantly reaching to cover his newly red cheek from your slap, his eyes wide in disbelief, then narrowed with furious realization.

“Fuck you,” You attempted to hide the quiver in your voice, “You fucking rotten, disgusting, repulsive human being.” Your teeth clenched, you knew your little outburst could very well get you fired but there was too much rage and liquor in your body to care.

He did nothing, not a brow raise, not a twist in his face, nothing. Perhaps he’d never had someone talk back to him like that. Without further explanation he just pushed past you, knocking your shoulder back with his weight. The gravity of what just happened settled into your chest, having such a cruel intimate moment in front of all your colleagues was probably the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you. Something you’d never be able to forget, something you could never forgive. Blood rushed to your cheeks as you felt all eyes on you and your heart began to race feeling the purest form of ‘flight’ mode you’d ever had in your life.

When you escaped there was no sign of Austin in sight. You knew he had to have gone back to the room, hopefully to pack his shit and leave. And if he wasn’t then you would, even if you had to beg to stay in someone’s room. All the way up the elevator your heart thumped against your rib cage, shaking out your hands and taking deep breaths mentally preparing yourself for confrontation.

You unlocked the door and found him standing there, looking like he got there just before you did. The anxiety of the confrontation dissipated the moment you laid eyes on his hardened face. “Get out.” You stated harshly, brushing past him yourself mimicking his actions from before.

“Intern there’s nowhere for me to fucking go.” His voice already raised and ready for battle, “I’m not fucking happy about it either but-“

Your brows scrunched together downwards, steam practically pouring from your ears. “You’re a liar! A filthy fucking liar! Get. Out.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not lying-“ He began but his incessant voice was driving you more livid by the minute.

“I know about the fucking vacant room Austin.” You growled, using his name and not Actor to let him know how serious you were. Just from how he opened his mouth to speak you could tell he was about to lie again so you beat him to it. “The front desk lady told me. Tell me Austin, if you hate me so goddamn much then why didn’t you just take the room? To fuck with me? To take me on some stupid drunken adventure to trick me into thinking you actually have a heart?”

He stayed silent, which only made you angrier. You just called him out on his bullshit, and he couldn’t even react. “Actually no, you know what? I’m the fucking liar. Because out there I called you a human being, but you’re too fucked up to be a human, you’re a fucking cockroach – I try to stomp you out but you keep fucking coming back.” When the words left there was an immediate sense of release, everything that had built up in your system spilled out.

“Oh, I’m a cockroach? If I’m such a cockroach, then why do you keep coming back for more huh?” He hissed, his arrogant scrunched face pissed you off even more. He had no right to talk to you like that after what he did. “I didn’t hear you complaining when I was making you cum.” Purposely using jarring sexual defenses to hurt you.

You thought lava was about to start seeping through your skin, what made it worse was that you didn’t have an answer. “Augh!” You grunted, pacing in a short lap, your fingers curling around air. “You are so fucking infuriatingly heartless it’s nauseating!”

He scoffed, “Well, I may be heartless, but you’re fucking naïve.” He snarled. “Naïve to think I would ever actually enjoy your company outside of your body.”

Your jaw dropped, tears pricked your eyes again realizing how senseless you were to have thought he was anything else but the arrogant, cruel man you met that first day on set. The building rage turned your tears into a terrifying laugh, “Oh, my body huh? That’s funny because out there you said you’d never touch me, when in there” Pointing to the back door leading to the hot tub, “You touched me with nothing in return for you. You were the one who wanted to ‘take care of me’, you held me, you called me pretty!” The ending sounding so pathetic, instantly regretting the vulnerability knowing it would be used as ammo.

He cackled, “Oh c’mon Intern you can’t be serious, nobody ever taught you not to believe the things men say when they’re drunk? It didn’t mean anything, I was drunk, I lied.”

The words sliced like blades and every ounce of restraint drained from your body. “You are by far the worst person I’ve ever had the disgrace of knowing. I wish I never fucking met you. If I could go back in time, I would turn down my apprenticeship. My apprenticeship, because I’m not and have never been a fucking intern!” Your voice raised into a yell, “I would throw away my entire career if it meant I could avoid ever crossing paths with you.”

A few moments passed and he was still there, silent and blank. You couldn’t read him at all, if he was angry or sad or insulted. He could’ve easily turned it on you, but he didn’t. He just stared at you.

Everything from the first day on set to the day of the snowstorm, yesterday and everything in between, compounded in your mind. Every insult, every backhanded comment, every accusation replayed in your head. No one had ever made you feel as low and as shitty as he did. The lump from before reclaimed its place in your throat and tears began to pool in your eyes, finally needing real answers. “Why do you treat me like this huh? Why do you say the horrible things you say to me? Call me all the vile names you do? What did I ever fucking do to you?” While you were holding back tears your voice remained furious and combative. “Why do you fucking hate me!”

His brows furrowed and his sharp jaw noticeably clenched, “You’re just fucking infuriating and annoying and it- it just drives me fucking insane!”

“What does! What the fuck do I do that bothers you so fucking much!” You nearly screamed out.

“You- just-“ He was grasping at straws, “No matter how much I try to hate you I fucking can’t!” His words darted from his tongue faster than he had time to process. His widened eyes gave away how much he regretted his slip up.

“W-What?” You stuttered out confused, that being the last thing you expected him to say. The rapid thumping of your heart accelerated, allowing only short breaths and you even felt a little lightheaded. You were overloaded, angry, confused, hurt, heartbroken, embarrassed. The small bit of control you had left was gone and the tears made their full appearance.

The minute he noticed the tears streaming down your face, Austin’s twisted face softened right before your eyes, even softer than the night before. “I-“ He stepped towards you but you immediately winced and recoiled from him.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You cried out wiping the tears from your face in an attempt to halt them.

In true Austin fashion, he didn’t listen, and his hands found your own on your cheeks. In an even stranger turn of events, he leaned down and placed a long kiss on your lips. Then he gently pulled your hands from your face, you looked up at him with watery puzzled eyes. You instinctively smacked his arm to push him away, but his strong arm didn’t budge.

He cupped your cheeks in his hands and placed a tender kiss under each stream of tears. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly after each kiss. Every single action he did was like a twisted turn on rickety rollercoaster ride. He returned to your lips, pressed another kiss followed with, “I’m sorry.” He whispered, an extra pillowy light kiss, “I’m sorry.” He repeated, another kiss, another apology. He trailed his lips down to just below your ear, stamping additional kiss there, “I’m sorry.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as he pressed another sloppy kiss below your ear, “I’m sorry.” No matter how furious you were didn’t stop the butterflies in your tummy. A longer, sloppier kiss further down your neck with a raspy, “I’m sorry.” Sent a buzzing through your chest and directly to your hips.

Maybe it was the same for you, no matter what horrible things he did or said to you, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself you hated him, you couldn’t. Maybe you were just as fucked up as he was.

“I’m sorry, let me show you how much.” He muttered against your skin, his fingers delicately smoothing down your sides like he was plucking a harp.

The shift from abhorrent to sweet gave you whiplash, not knowing which one was genuine. You squeezed your eyes shut, forcing any tears out, the salty liquid dripping off your chin. “Austin, I can’t.” You breathed out, the panic attack-like heaving never left. “Austin, you literally just humiliated me in front of everyone. You called me a filthy whore nobody, in front of everyone.” Reluctantly pulling from his grasp. His once venomous eyes now soft and apologetic, but that’s exactly what he did wasn’t it? He’d wrap you back in his hold like prey, constrict you until you were blue in the face, still hypnotizing you with snake eyes. You were a rat and he a cobra trapped in a 10 gallon tank, and he was still convincing you that he wasn’t trying to consume you whole. “I just can’t. I just- I respect myself too much. And I need you to go. I need to be alone.”

He stepped towards you once more, his fingertips ran down the back of your arms reaching your hands, taking them tenderly into his. “I’m so sorry y/n. I won’t do it again. I promise.” He bargained in a tone so quiet you’d think he was paranoid of people hearing him from behind the walls. “I’ll never talk like that ever, ever again.”

“Austin, I don’t know what you want from me.” You slipped from his hands, “But there won’t be another ‘again’. You were right the other day on set, this shouldn’t have happened.” Your voice cracked, “I need you to leave. Now.”

His look faltered, a look you’d only ever seen on the faces of defeated Olympians. “Okay.” He said lowly, stepping forward and cupping your face then pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. His misty blue eyes looked down at you, “If you ever wanna cash in that apology, you know where to find me.”

Without another word he gathered his things and left to find the other room. The minute he was out the door, every emotion you had suppressed from the event took over. You doubled over gripping onto your stomach as you heaved, rivers of tears pouring from your eyes. Tight twists and knots wrapped around your abdomen, constricting you like the snake he was.

You stumbled to the bed and fell in it, wrapping the sheets around you and like a 15-year-old with their first heartbreak, you wailed into the pillow. You never felt so worthless, so pathetic, so stupid. You were so fucking stupid for letting him slither his way into you the way he did. How could anyone talk about someone like that? Someone who just last night was so sweet and gentle with you. Someone who said they didn’t mean any of it but then wanted to apologize so tenderly?

It made you sick to think how you let such evil into your body. You weren’t even able to say that you missed the red flags, you didn’t, you saw them clearly and raced past them. He showed you exactly who he was, and still let yourself believe he was something he wasn’t.

Yeah, your house was now haunted, but you were the one who invited the demon in.

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author notes:

thank you all SO much for all the love and support on this story, it has truly been overwhelming. i know my numbers aren't as big as others but they're big to me - appreciate EVERY comment, message, ask, etc. i love you guys so much - i never expected this fic to get that much attention so again, thank you xx

if you enjoyed this story/my writing pls consider giving my main fic, Forever Winter, a read - if you like angsty sad smutty you’ll probably like it lol

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