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dxwnfxll · 1 year

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heya! can i request scp staff with a trans masc s/o? ty ! :D

Ofc!

Scp staff with a Trans Masc S/O

(Ambrose replaces Shaw/Bright)

••Dr. Ambrose••

-So Jack is already Genderfluid so she's definitely the most accepting on the list

-He's always hyping you up secretly, like she'll leave lil sticky notes on your desk with 'you're a man, if anyone says otherwise go tell them to fuck themselves'

-If anyones transphobic towards you he'll treat them like they're dumb.

-Though I hardly doubt anyone in the foundation would be transphobic or homophobic seeing as a good majority of researchers are fruity

-if you want a binder or top surgery Ambrose is definitely paying for it.

-calls you romantic nicknames like 'Mcdreamy' (he was being silly with that one) or 'Hubby'

••Dr. Clef••

-Clef is a sleezy, shitty rude bastard...but! He's not trasphobic

-apart from Jack, Clef is the second biggest ally. He respects that you may not want everyone to know you're trans, so he keeps his support for you a lil secret.

-He'll leave you emails, texts and notes supporting you and encouraging you to beat the shit out of anyone who tries to be transphobic.

-if anyone is ever transphobic to you in front of him they're going missing. Simple

-he probably has a lil trans flag on his ukulele for ya lol

-he calls you weird lil names like 'Y/n boo boo bear' or 'cowboy'

••Iceberg••

-Iceberg is an asshole but he isn't a monster

-he supports and loves you unconditionally, and is definitely a guy to glare anyone down that says shit.

-His way of supporting you is kinda funny, he'll just send you stuff that looks like the trans flag and go 'hey x this reminded me of you' (i thought it was funny)

-or he'll randomly give you stuff that looks like the trans flag, so now your office is probably decorated with as many blue, pink and white stuff that he could find

-if someone's transphobic to you he's decking them in the face. He doesn't care, they're getting decked

-he likes to just call you 'babe' or 'baby' very simple sociopath man

••Dr. Kondraki••

-Konny is very supportive of you but won't really show it.

-again he is very VERY supportive of you, but he's just a shrug it off kinda guy.

-he'll address you as however you want, neos? Cool, xenos? Okay, he/him? Alright

-if anyone's transphobic to you they're on 682 duty for the rest of the month.

-if you want top surgery or a binder he's paying for it, he insists

-he just calls you 'love' or by your name lolol

••Dr. Rights••

-she's a very kind person and very considerate of your feelings

-she searches up all sorts of stuff to know how to properly address you and such.

-She bought you a lil bear with a trans flag on it <3

-if anyone is transphobic towards you she gives them the nastiest glare ever and pretty much goes

-"is this how you spend your life? Being an asshole? How sad."

-she calls you hers and darling

••Dr. Glass••

-Glass is super supportive of you, always tells you to come and talk to him if you need to

-He's got all sorts of flags in his office so it's a safe place for literally everyone

-very caring towards you and considerate of your feelings

-if anyone is being transphobic towards you he gets kinda like Ambrose, he makes them feel dumb with that sweet smile on his face

-if you ever need to vent you have the perfect boyfriend to do so with

-calls you 'sweetheart' and 'his darling'

••Draven Kondraki••

-Draven adores you no matter what you are, when you first come out he's very caring towards you and even asks what he can do to help make your journey easier

-He got you a lil trans pin to wear if you want lol

-if anyone says any sort of transphobic shit to you he just kinda looses his temper

-he'll yell at them probably even go as far as to knock them out if they continue to say awful shit to you

-he will always reassure you and remind you that you are a man and he'll always love you

-he likes to call you his 'dummy' or 'babe'

••Dr. Talloran••

-Talloran is non-binary themselves so they ofc support you, and they help you with your transition

-they have some money saved up to help with your top surgery if you wish to get it

-Whenever someone is being transphobic towards you Talloran will just take your hand and lead you away, and they'll let you vent to them about how that person was

-gives you constant reassurance and love

-calls you 'love' and 'dear'

••Mikell Ambrose••

-i'll admit it kinda took Mikell a lil to get used to the change, but whenever he fucked up he'd always correct himself

-he may accidentally call you by your dead name but he'll immediately correct himself, if he does so in public he'll correct himself with a "oh shit, hey Y/n my bad thought you were someone else"

-if anyone says shit they're pretty much dead, after all he's an 05 who's known as 'agent cowboy' so he's not to be messed with nor is his partner.

-he pays for your top surgery no discussion

-he likes to call you 'darlin'' usually

Sorry if this seems rushed and stuff i wasn't exactly sure how to go with this so i just put some lil head canons lolol

Hope you enjoyed! (And if you want me to add any specific things pls do tell)

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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little-cereal-draws · 5 months

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Chess Husbands Demon/Guardian Angel au

This is based off the joke they made in the finale abt Julian being a demon and this post abt Robin effectively serving as the guardian angel of Button House by @imdefyingmavity

At this point, Robin knows that he's supposed to be the protector of the House and its residents but he doesn't take his duties that seriously. Of course he does if it's an actual emergency like the burglary or if he particularly likes one of the ppl that live there like Sophie but generally he goes abt his own business running through the woods and looking at mouse babies and not really paying that much attention to what the living people are doing. However when Julian shows up, things change. He's the only other ghost who can interact with the living world in a physical way. He's not the best person though and is very cheeky but Robin thinks he's great and they bond quickly. He overlooks all the warning signs; Julian turning on the radio bc he wants to hear the music too, Julian pushing cups off tables so they break because it's funny, Julian poking living people bc a man has needs, alright? He even doesn't think anything much of Julian using his powers to try to murder Alison; she hadn't been there that long and was going to mess everything up. (Again, Robin's not always the best at his job lol)

Now here's where it could go a number of different ways. I can't pick.

Ending 1: (This one's my favorite) It's a similar process becoming a demon or a guardian angel. It's grueling and essentially breaks your brain down and restructures it to better fit your new role. Robin did it thousands of years ago during one of the times when he was the only person at the House but he managed to keep his sanity in the isolation and become an angel. (Also his want to be part of a big tribe and to redeem himself for failing his tribe when he was alive helped with that outcome.) Julian, on the other hand, isn't doing as well. It's been thousands of years since Alison lived there, the House is completely different, friends have come and gone, and he's cracking. Robin tries to help him, talking to him, trying to engage him in activities like they used to do, but there's not much he can do to stop it. It's painful, watching the only friend he still had agonizingly losing his mind. It's only after it's all done, that they start fighting each other with epic ghost magic like you would expect from a demon and angel. The relatively harmless mischief Julian used to get up to has now been replaced with genuinely life threatening and destructive tendencies and it's a full-time job trying to keep the people on the property safe. Robin doesn't want to fight though; his heart breaks time every time he looks at him. Julian might still physically be there but Robin's lost another friend.

Ending 2A: Sometime between the Coopers leaving and the end scene where Alison comes back as an old woman, Robin finally moves on. Ofc all the ghosts are happy for him but it's still heartbreaking. Julian especially is lonely/upset and every time he tries to bring up how he feels abt it (bc yes, he talks abt his feelings now; blame Alison), the other ghosts just brush him off saying Robin's probably happier now, they knew this is what he wanted, etc. Julian's frustrated, angry, sad, lonely, and doesn't know what to do with himself. He isn't particularly close to any of the ghosts left so he spends a lot more time by himself. He releases his negative emotions by messing with the hotel guests. He smashes their stuff, locks their doors, rips up their clothes, and basically vents by destroying anything else he can get his hands on. His powers get stronger but so do his negative emotions (they feed into each other) until he's completely consumed by them. All the other ghosts are kinda scared of him at this point so they bring it up to Alison one year when she comes. She tells Julian off but quickly realizes he's just acting out because he feels like no one's listening to him and he feels alone now. She comforts him and they talk about Robin and he feels better. He still has very sinister tendencies now, there's no going back on that, but he can be relatively easily persuaded to not do the SUPER bad things.

Ending 2B: (This is the one I'm least sure abt) It starts out the same where Robin moves on in the hotel, Julain's upset and starts terrorizing the hotel guests to express that, and the other ghosts tell Alison about what's happening. She tries to tell him off but he's too far gone and he kills her. (Bonus points if he gets set off because he misinterprets what she's saying and thinks he's in trouble because he's still upset over Robin.) It's the first time he's killed someone and solidifies the fact that there's absolutely no coming back for him. This makes everyone (ghosts and humans) terrified and avoid him even more. Alison's death is a violent unsolvable mystery and the hotel eventually is forced to close. Over the years, many paranormal investigators and exorcists come to the house correctly convinced that Alison's murder was supernatural but he kills them all too before they can get very far. The people he kills don't stay as ghosts nor do they move on, they just seem to stop existing. The remaining ghosts have a theory that he's somehow taking their energy since he seems to get stronger after each one but they have no way to prove it. Even though he almost always ignores them, the ghosts spend the rest of eternity living in fear and hiding on the outskirts of the property.

#take your pick. they're all angsty lol #But seriously I would love to hear ppls opinions #can u tell I like the trope of a person being consumed and corrupted by grief after someone they love dies lol #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts au #julian fawcett #bbc ghosts robin #robin the caveman #chess husbands

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movedtodykedvonte · 1 year

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Got any Headcanon about if Spamton and Mettaton were friends?

Oh boy do I! I have multiple cause it really depends when they are meeting cause I feel like it would change the way Mettaton would interact with Spamton (assuming we're using UT!Mettaton):

Addispam

I feel Addispam like idolizes Mettaton, not to like an unhealthy degree but Mettaton is basically everything he aspires to be; well liked, popular, tall

spam already has a fat ass and massive rack so

Mettaton would think he's cute and like that he's eager to impress and a try hard, even if he's still bad at it (reminds him of a less cynical burgerpants or a slightly more confident alphys)

Spam would try to impress MTT but MTT just likes having this funny little thing around. Def likes to get Spam to in MT brand outfits cause he'd "Look so much more advertisable and adorbs"

MTT lets Spam practice his pitches and they treat it like a sleep over night. MTT reherses their lines for the show and Spam just boosts their ego

In this scenario I feel like Spam lets MTT have a space to vent in an ugly not glamourous way cause Spam wouldn't see him as anything but.

Vice Versa having MTT around give Spam a lot of confidence as if this guy just likes having him around he must be doing something right

I also feel like if they got really close and MTT was comfortable explaining his past it would give Spamton hope that he could become great to if he tried enough

Platonic Jessica Rabbit and Roger Rabbit dynamic (or not platonic if ur into it)

I feel like MTT also apricates another robot (essentially) and they enjoy causing havoc in alphys' lab

BS!Spam

If they knew each other before I feel like Spam would be a little more hotty as a big shot, that Mettaton influence am I right?

Otherwise they enhance each other's best qualities actually! I feel like Mettaton would keep Spam personalable and socialable while Spam would be able to reel back Mettaton putting their logo on everything

C'mon they gotta leave room for the big shot brand somewhere

They are rich, famous and hot gossip buddies. Those two mean girls that point at you from the corner but they probs are just betting on how much of their products they could get you to buy

Model each other's stuff for each other but in a rival way "This is good but mine is even better."

Bond over being two people at the top together. I feel like a big part of their sadness in their canons is the loneliness. Deep down they miss those old friends and family but felt they couldn't achieve anything if they didn't separate. It makes it feel less lonely having someone who understands that

Maybe they even encourage each other to see their respective loved ones again

MTT would like doing Spamton's hair and Spamton (the car guy) would be able to do a nice finish and polish on MTT's robo body

Normal Spamton

If they knew each other before this, MTT would be very sad to see what happened to Spam. Spam would probably be really embarrassed but nonetheless just as insane... and hotty as before

MTT would make him their personal project, getting back into big shot shape the Mettaton Brand way!

This is basically MTT and his feral bestie Spam. Spam is eager to pitch anything and I feel would be excited to have a chance to be big again, is a little shit and messes with MTT to take the spotlight

MTT finds it odd and annoying but endearing in a way. Spam's pazzazz makes up for a lot of it and MTT would make it part of the bit

When it comes to Spamton's phone issues I feel like MTT would be accommodating, having the ring be replaced with a sound he likes. I think Spam would return the favor by having his miniton be apart of the act

Again with the closeness and MTT's past, I feel like MTT would make sure to explain that Spam doesn't need to try and reach this height of popularity to be special again or free

Whether Spamton takes the advice or not is really up in the air, though he's considerably happier

Spamton pitpockets the audience but it's considered part of the experience so he's allowed. MTT thinks it's apart of his quirky traits

The miniton really like MTT and act as personal assistants.

Pipis are a part of the show.

SNEO

They are kinning each other.

I like the idea of their friendship, they'd be cute and chaotic together and be everyone else's problem <3

#i also like the ship but i digress #their friendship is cute and they relate to each other #ghost mettaton and addispam would have the cutest relationship in any aspect in my mind #if EX and SNEO met i think the world would implode #utdr #undertale #deltarune #mettaton #spamton #spamton g spamton #addispam #big shot spamton #deltarune headcanon #ask #anon

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gleefully-polysexaul · 9 months

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my honest review of red, white and royal blue film :)

firstly, i liked the film, i didn't love it but it wasn't bad either. it's just that fact that it felt incredibly rushed and they only selected the really important parts and disregarded the others. i mean they completely scrapped june and that is pretty big since she was a part of the "white house trio" and personally i think she was a important character that helped alex and i loved their little sibling bond also they got rid of raefel luna which is a shame since alex looked up to him and he had a major part in the book, between his role in alex's life and his "betrayal" and how it affected alex also he basically exposed richard (i think that is his name). i miss the turkey scene and alex's fear "hE kNOws mY sINs" bc i loved that scene. also where was leo and why was his parents still married?!? a big part of alex's journey is how much the divorce affected him and the fact that he opened up to henry for the first time after he shouted at his parents on Christmas eve. the waterloo letters didn't show anything to do with bea's drug problem and they also didn't get henry's mum involved which is sad bc in the book it was really emotional and significant when she showed up to support henry and the fact the king didn't try to fight it tooo much unlike how in the books the queen had to be literally threatened for her to give in. also no mention of david and mr wobbles which isn't that important but i like animals sooo... also i would have liked the cornetto scene to exist bc it's basically the first time alex saw henry as a normal person, all messy and in his pajamas and his perspective slightly shifts, not be a lot but he discovers a bit more abt henry and how he isn't perfect all the time. Also pez only got like one line which is a shame since he is funny and we completely missed the scene where Alex realises that he has friends which is pretty big for him. they also didn't go into how hard it was when henry's dad died for all of them (bea included) was also kinda annoyed that they replaced the queen with the king, i'm not sure why they did that but it was just a bit weird.

anyway, i had to vent this at 3:06 am or else i was gonna explode i think they should have make it into a series so they could have gone further into details and helped with the character development and actually add all the characters

just clarifying that i did like the film and i did like a lot of the scenes and the iconic lines but i think personally that they didn't do it justice, well not fully anyway and feel free to disagree

#rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb spoilers #rwrb book #review #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #first prince #fsotus

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egg-emperor · 2 years

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It is perfectly okay and valid to feel the way you do now. It's unfortunate things turned out in such a disappointing and painful way. Do whatever you need to help ease the sadness. Vent as much as you need, then revisit your favorite Eggman moments, maybe do your own little rewrite of Frontiers' story if you feel comfortable enough to. I hope you can find some hope or comfort in something. :(

Thank you so much. 💖 I really appreciate the understanding for what I'm feeling and how I'm expressing it right now because I can't deny how I feel and I don't know what else to do right now and this is one of the things my blog is for. It means a lot to have support and assurance in being honest about it, unlike those assholes that think this is funny and want me to be upset. But what you say means way more to me than anything they can.

I'm going to do what I can because of course my love for him will never die and that's why this hurts so much. I want to go back and rewatch my favorites but I'm going to have to brace myself first for the inevitable pain that will come with knowing that Eggman could be gone and replaced with what we got now. I'm determined to not let that ruin the happiness and comfort I get from those games though. I'll get there.

I might make a rewrite concept when I get my head together and have all the details. Because I can already see it in my head with him still feeling like the game canon Eggman I've always known and loved. Because I go with what my mind and heart tells me that comes naturally with my years of knowledge and analysis, unlike writers who are willing to change his whole character for the sake of a nonsensical plot point.

I got this far and the way it turns out I was helped along the way by looking forward to a game that actually just caused more pain has hit me like a ton of bricks. But I can't give up on him as a whole as one of the only sources of joy and passion I've got left, I refuse. I'll find a way to feel better and keep going and doing what I love because this character will mean the world to me and bring me joy, no matter what they try to do. 💜🥚

#asks #dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #sonic frontiers #my post

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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swervesbootycall · 2 years

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//Plagued by the maladies here’s some Reader/Overlord. CW for Overlord’s general everything and self hostaging. Also trading sexual favors for a friend’s wellbeing I don’t know how to tag this it’s a very particular “Reader” based on an OC but figured it would be more fun this way. It becomes valveplug a little but I’m tired//

You’re not asleep when the door code dings. The berth is huge and empty and you’re not asleep where you’ve curled up at the head. He knows this before he even steps into the room. He knows this, but he chooses to play along. Play at quiet pedesteps to preserve your recharge. Play at gently, gently easing himself into position on the berth beside you without too much metal on metal. He chooses to lay with his chest to your back. Nearly. Not touching, no. He’s playing the gentlemech. Even his venting is low so as not to disturb you with too much warm current.

You know he watches you when you sleep. His stamina is greater than yours, his system is stronger. You often fall into reboot in his arms. In the moment it’s always warm and lovely.

And then you spend a day alone. Time alone to think. To get antsy. To stew. To hate what’s happening. What you KNOW is happening, but what you also know you can’t fight. Not forever. Even with the certainty that his endearment is a scam, a game of Will… you’ve started. To miss him.

“You know I’m awake,” you mutter, “I know about the sensors.”

“I feel we’ve had this conversation before,” Overlord chuckles, “but good on you for remembering.”

“Fuck you.”

You can Feel him smirking. He doesn’t touch you. In fact, he sits up, stretching. Pointedly widening the distance between your frames.

Your denta grind.

“Here I am letting you rest in luxury, coming back from a hard day’s work overseeing a huge facility’s operations, and you immediately start picking a fight over how considerate I am?”

You lose a point flipping over to look at him. Overlord is beaming, optics sparkling. He places a Servo on his chassis, mock affronted.

“That hurts, sweetspark.”

You squint.

“You really are a master of being funny and awful simultaneously.”

“How does it make you feel?”

Overlord’s expression relaxes, as does his posture. He lays back on his side facing you with a hand cupping his cheek.

“Tired.”

“Well that’s just sad and a lie, try again.”

“I want to laugh along with you but then I remember that you’ve been killing and torturing and it kills the mood pretty easily.”

“Aw, now, I didn’t kill anyone today.”

“Presiding over death matches-“

“Doesn’t count! Technically, I’m an innocent bystander.”

His shit eating grin churns your fuel tanks in two different directions. The urge to correct him bubbles up instinctively despite Knowing that He Knows he’s full of shit. He wants you to argue semantics with him. It’s amusing. It’s different. It’s entertaining.

You don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

But you made a deal to do so. As long as you remain entertaining, Max stays safe. Others die, you sacrifice your dignity, but at least Max isn’t tortured for as long as you can keep yourself unique enough to not snap in half like a stylus.

Which means leaning into it. The manipulation and conditioning. Enough that he doesn’t get bored. That he can be satisfied by winning but still feel challenged. Your death is coming, you know this, but you have the lucky ability to buy Max some time.

So you exvent, “I didn’t like being alone today.”

His brow raises, “no?”

“No.”

He, gently he’s always gentle with you and you are very aware it’s all part of his game, presses a giant digit to your forehelm.

“Why don’t you tell me those three words on your glossa and I’ll give you a reward?”

He rumbles it out. His lips forming every word meticulously. Your systems shudder. The instinct is to snark. To refuse. But your panels have been tight all day… you can’t take your optics off those lips.

“I missed you.”

“Good bot.”

Overlord replaces his digit with his lips, and you sink back down against the berth. Your vents whirr. He kisses you again, just to the side of your mouth. Working his way down. A static whine from your vocalizer betrays you even as your panels snap open faster than they ever have.

“Well that’s eager,” he practically purrs, “but something’s missing.”

You beg for him. You beg for his glossa between your legs and he complies. Chuckling. Taking his time. Teasing.

You grind. You thrash. You struggle for relief from his slow, methodical, gentle torment.

You are the only being to plead roughness from Overlord.

And the only one funny enough for him to deny.

#valveplug #Overlord #reader/overlord #power imbalance #self hostaging #manipulation #conditioning #it’s consensual but fucked up #size kink #reader is a minibot if they wanna be #the oc this is based on is a minibot #the epitome of “’is this anything

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edzasks · 6 months

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Jules! Sending you hugs! Please eat some yummy, nutritious food! If you need to vent, vent. I care about you and how you are doing.

It’s so dumb. Basically I was talking to this one person (mind you, it’s a chick btw — I’m sticking to men ONLY forevermore after this), basically chick I knew briefly last year, but got to know her these 2 months started hardcore love bombing me, chasing me, pursuing me, etc. We end up getting very close, very quickly, and genuinely she was the most awesome person to talk to.

Then I started liking her and she felt it was mutual, but mind you it was heavy love bombing, and funny enough I always knew I was being gassed up too quickly, if someone is ‘too nice’ and fast pacing; never believe them, but instead of being guarded and isolated like I typically proceed nonchalant, I decided to be open cause I trusted them as a friend.

Then near the end (Halloween) she switched up, she starts ignoring my msgs, and being cold & distant. This is where the chess games started coming in.

And I, a very fucking mellow very low maintenance person - MIND YOU … Started to feel like I was going losing my mind, actually no I was genuinely so ticked by this I was convinced I was a crazy person (no!) While she was playing these games and discarding me. Alexa play Dear John…

Then since I felt like she was playing games, I played dumb and pretended I no longer felt for her, in response she told me she “didn’t find anyone else” then hours later lies telling me; she had “replaced me” and found someone else.

Despite mine you, weeks ago obsessing over me, love bombing me heavily, making bold statements like she wants me and only me, etc, showing me screenshots of fwbs she apparently cut off for me, bunch of gassing up bs.

In the end (basically) to summarise I feel like absolute shit, and being discarded like I’m nothing and all the games f’d with my head, and the sad part is I am good at seeing this shit but I ignored the 🚩flags (knew it months ago this would happen to) because I decided to be blind… Ironically anyone into tarot reading too the cards pulled about the scenario too said fraud, bad energy, bad, bad, bad to the point where the reader needed a deck cleanse and run too. 🫠

Blocked her off basically everything now, and she was still flip flopping when I told her to lose my #, and she’s like “why is there so much drama?” (when I just told her cause she won’t communicate just silent treatment) Then seemed bothered that I was running away since she said “always running and disappearing” (yup!! Saved me from ppl like that!!)

But I ran.

I didn’t like her comment either about how she “needs to heal” (instead of being w someone) yet wants to “see where it goes” w me (as if I’m a side hoe)… lbr … until someone better comes along 🤣 and the whole time I’ve been replaced. Which contradicts her bs, and lie.

It’s a long rant, but I think they have NPD, so I was victim to a narcissist basically.

Lot of gaslighting too trying to say it’s a waste of time (or I am) cause she stopped believing I was bi, or w.e. It’s all manipulation imo & punishment. And saying shit like I shouldn’t be mad. No empathy, just games. When I first deleted her she said she’d give me space, and when I apologised steering clear of maybe she isn’t a narc, she took hours to respond with her shady “ok” … Despite her offering me space (lol)…

I didn’t like either how she lied about one of her friends being her fuck buddy (reality is, that chick has a bf) just constant … lies.

I have no interesting in dating again, and I’m happily gonna go back to being me, myself & I and my emotional unavailability comfort zone because ppl these days are the worst. I don’t need someone to be happy tbh. I’m fine on my own.

I think she still follows me on Spotify / twitter idk why she hasn’t unfollowed me on everything else yet 🤷‍♀️ but the audacity too that she had to ask why I deleted her off snap. 🙄

Like… I just feel sick to my stomach basically it’s hard to eat because the distress (to shortly summarise this) and I feel like a moron, and not good enough.

#npd #narcissistic personality disorder #trigger warning

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resmarted · 6 months

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haven't been on psych meds all week due to liver failure and emergency intervention to reverse the effects of the damage from trying to replace covid meds with tylenol (even those also give you liver damage apparently and my tylenol levels didn't even appear to be that high in the end? tf?)

have already been on the brink of tears a few times, namely when chris didn't pull my show and said he knew my ability to bounce back in time. i can't even talk about it i will start sobbing it's like the most moving thing anyone has said to me in so long.

was also considering going down on these meds already and wanted to taper off to see how i manage. i have been on a steady combo of anxiety and depression meds since i was 22. i was very exhausted from being the funny girl in every setting to the point where every coworker at whole foods would want to know what was wrong the second i stopped smiling or goofing off. the expectation of me and the sad jester complex that came along with it for years got to be too much. i also felt like i had turned it into a full time job making everyone else around me comfortable which somehow evolved into being an emotional dumping ground for everyone to lay their own issues out onto, whether we knew each other or not. i genuinely care for people but there is a fine line between being nonconsensually assigned at random to become someone's free therapist and being this hardened bitch for setting boundaries and not engaging in the people-pleasing techniques of culturally fetishized support group mentality. or something idk how to explain it but i decided at some point it was much safer to just be seen as a bitch than a free vent box for other people who refuse to get on their own meds or proper treatment plans with licensed professionals etc. people tend to see that you have been through a lot and therefore you have all the answers to get them through their stuff, but it took a lot or work and therapy and is an ongoing process. it's actually really insulting and extremely lacking in self-awareness to make your problems everyone else's around you and being the only somewhat healed person in a room makes you a magnet to people who want to feel better too without doing the work. people don't deserve to be victim to your emotional outbursts or of your vampiric tendencies.

that being said, not to be anye-kay but i was a much more prolific writer and a lot of my best art has been created from the depths of hellish experiences and times in my life. suppressing my feelings about the world and not pouring it into my art is not very cash money of me. also tho the best art is made during the winter and the worst time to go off meds is also during this time, generally for the same reasons. also i think it's generally a lame excuse to say you can't make art with or without drugs. it may be easier one way or the other, but it's likely a discipline or skill issue. like maybe you're just a shitty artist and drugs is an easy way to avoid taking that accountability.

the mental health system is so fucked the regular health system is so fucked the living wage is fucked all of our money is being funneled directly into war and genocide and i just feel like numbing myself any further in this moment of revolutionary history is not the way to exist right now.

THAT being said i fucking HATE how people act off their meds, how they unleash their shit onto you with such audacious entitlement, and ultimately this world is designed to make you feel crazy, so if you can control your emotions in an act of survival then why wouldn't you? but also i am an artist, doggg.

i know how i get when i go off them for too long, how unsavory comments become, even when they are people i know disguising themselves as randos, and fortunately i have had enough experience to know how cruel and demented people get in groups on line (or in general) and have learned to genuinely not go looking for it after years or exposure tharapy alone. the second i get the slightest inkling we are not on the same team, you're out. no questions asked. like i could truly give a fuck what your excuse for your behavior you will or won't admit to, i have enough weirdo fucking stalkers online as it is and have for decades now. if you even have one of those people within six degrees or your social circle you're already on thin ice to begin with. i did not spend nearly forty years surviving this insane fucking life to go backwards. i don't attach myself to people with shitty karma, even if it's just by proxy of their friends of friends. if you want to survive cut-throat environments, you have to be willing to be called the bitch and the crazy one and whatever else will be thrown at you for refusing to adhere to a mold of low vibe mediocrity. you have to treat your social circle like an ongoing audition process that is never fully locked into place and be totally fine with whether or not people will get it (they won't, esp as a woman you will get thrown all those demonic labels and then some) it feels weird in the early days but eventually living in truth and integrity becomes second nature, and the revolving door of people who do and do not make it back for the following seasons of both your community environment of choice or your life in its most personal form always speaks for itself.

people play with fire expecting not to get burnt, play stupid games to win stupid prizes, despite how it ends the same each time etc etc etc.

say it with me: slow and steady wins the race. that falls on deaf ears attached to people trying to be the loudest in the room, but people only like fast food for so long and everyone agrees what quality is at the end of the day. you don't just get that overnight through overexertion and speed racing your way into a burnout. not everyone is meant to play this game according to the arbitrary set of rules on a constantly evolving and everchanging landscape.

this post was mostly for me btw. everything i do in this world is generally just for me. another great example of gaining a following by going against all the made up rules to a made up game that we are all just making up as we go along. [fiona apple 1997 vma voice] this world is bullshit just go with yourself

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thehumbleacquaintance · 7 months

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5 years & 323 days

idk if my calculation of the days was accurate but hello, i remembered my personal diary that i haven't visited in years and thought i'd stop by and say hi. a lot has happened in these 4 years that i haven't vented to you. lately i feel like i have a hard time identifying my emotions, all i seem to feel is stress and distaste. you know me, how i desperately want to be happy all the time. i am supposed to have things figured out by now.. nowadays i have some relationship problems, i know: surprising. i have been in one for a year and half. it began as a friendship, i felt like i could share my every single thought and feeling with him, and he would just get me. i really believed he did. then i wanted him to be my person cause he got me. for almost a year it was great, until it wasn't. i feel like i gave him a meaning in my life he wasn't willing to have. i believed i had finally met my soulmate which was childish of me, probably a product of my inexperience. i stopped doing the things i did to fill the void in my life and replaced it all with him, and now i regret it. cause now his place in my life seems shakey, and that left me doubting everything. he didn't cheat, says he never would, never will do anything to hurt me. but how can i trust that when he has no idea when he already has and now i have to replace all that hurt with anger to defend my pride. at least that's what i feel like.

ever since my childhood i never learned to express my feelings unless they were positive ones. i always hid them behind others, until i was at a point were even i wasn't able to tell what i was feeling. it just didn't feel good and i felt like crying. was it anger? was it sadness? disappointment? but in whom? well myself of course.. when have i ever had someone else to blame?

i can no longer have phone calls with my mother where i don't feel so sad and tired after hanging up. i always feel like i am being judged, cause i am. she just never listens and when she does she hears only what disappoints her. it breaks me. i can never please her, and the more i denied it i became a people pleaser. always fearing being disliked, disappointing. even in the tiniest things. i can never order my drink correctly, i can never have a phone call without saying something that doesn't belong there. i need to be funny, i need to impress. i need to be liked. more than everyone else. why? cause i try harder, i practice it in my head and imagine happy smiles in front of me. achieving things, everything. i'm just so lost. and i can never be a good girlfriend it seems..

i lack the courage to try, i am just so scared of rejection. so i believed i found the one and i was so happy cause i would no longer have to try for someone to love me. he already did. with all my hyperactive thoughts, through it all he loved me and it felt enough. did i ever love him i don't know, i thought i did but now i am not sure of anything. maybe i loved being loved by someone who i believe wasn't in debt to like my family. he took care of me, my emotions. i didn't feel like my feelings were cast aside. he reassured me that things would get better, i wouldn't have to feel so so lonely anymore cause he was there with me. then came a time where he wasn't. i took it for granted, i thought he would always be there for me.

i was having a really bad day, bad week, bad month. and he went out with one of his girl friends, then he went to her house to get drunk and watched cartoons with her, massaged her back, listened to her talk about her ex, an elaborate story of their experiences in bed, then i can only imagine he acted as a shoulder to cry on while she weeped about the so called ex. he did it all. and told me himself. first he let me know he was going over to hers then he said i was such a cool girlfriend, i was super chill after all i could say was okay. i was so tired i almost passed out that day. and that traumatized me. i couldn't bring my thoughts together, i wasn't able to acknowledge that he did me wrong until weeks later. and when i finally had the courage to stop being passive aggressive and bring it up he said ''but you said you were fine with it'' ''it's been weeks why are you bringing this up'' ''are you accusing me of cheating? how dare you? i would never!'' he silenced me. i felt silenced while he believed we were fine. he said he would stop being friends with her for me, his grand gesture. that was almost a year ago. i don't think i ever forgave him for it. he hurt my pride, i had to deal with the after effects of it on my own.

i didn't sign up for this, i kept repeating to myself. i wanted to pull myself out of this mess. i wasn't in love anyways, right? maybe not idk but i was feeling dependent on him. i no longer had a support system, who would i rant to about him? who would get me if he didn't? it was difficult, still is, and realizing he didn't get how hurt i was only angered me. having to form proper sentences about my feeling of hurt is harder than i thought. but i did it. and he didn't take any action. even to this day he still follows her on social media. he gets a phone call from her when he's with me, although they haven't spoken in months(?). she sends me a follow request 2 months ago from now. non of these things support his explanation of not being on speaking terms with her. it's like he cares more about what his friends think than hurting me and believes he can just make my hurt go away with a ''i won't do it anymore''. i would believe if he kept to his words. it feels like he doesn't take my feelings seriously and that is something i am very familiar with from my childhood.

now i am left doubting everything he says, more so the dept of his emotions for me. he cannot be in love with me. he cannot be my person. if he can't get anything i am saying, sometimes not voiced but implied. sometimes i'm not sure if he really doesn't understand me or he's just looking for a way to escape the blame, to escape my rage, to escape my hurt, to escape me. and that hurts more than i can explain. feeling like something to be dealt with rather than cared for. i can't go on if that's the case. he still gives me bursts of happiness that distract me but then something reminds me of his lacking actions and i am once again left questioning everything.

i have to end this entry here, nothing is decided yet. we're on a break i suggested and he accepted quite easily. it's the second one. i don't feel ready to let him go, to bond with someone else seems so unlikely right now. once i feel comfortable in my loneliness, maybe then..? again, nothing is decided yet. i will try to go easy on him, on myself. i don't need to identify my sadness i can just feel it and learn to let go. i can solve my own problems. i can form a routine that supports me. i can do it all, no need to rush myself. i will no longer struggle to fix us, but fix my own support system: me.

#thehumbleacquaintance #today #blog #diary #thoughts

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littleturtlefish · 3 years

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my body near the end of 2019: i know we havent been doing so well ever since you were nine but i genuinely feel like we’re gonna break down soon bro.

my body once 2020 began, corona only speeding up the inevitable: no art. no writing. no reading. no keyboard piano. no guitar. no video games. no school work. only stay in bed and sleep for 20+ hours. also do some really self-destructive things while ur at it, u only live once luv.✨

my body after playing one (1) singular game that made me feel emotions: no school work. But y’know what??? Do art. Do it a lot. U had enough sleep so no more sleep. Think about the game. Think about the game. Think about the game. Think about the game. Think about the game. Think about the game. Think about the game. Think about the game. Think about the game. also take some lessons from the game bcuz that kinda applies to you. Think about the game. Think about the game. Think about the game.

#this is like a vent but replace sadness with funni #yes this is about That Game #ok but omori seriously did help me deal with my own issues though #I hold the game very close to my heart <3 #it’s just that now my body doesn’t know how to deal with me having this sudden energy #it’s like that one video of that girl saying this is her last hurrah before everything shuts down #am I gonna crash and burn after this energy is gone?#top 10 questions to ask urself before liking literally anything #god you have no idea how much omori related stuff I have now tho #I have never spent money on any merchandise before #but I really really really want those keychains #and maybe a hoodie because they look pretty cool too #THEYRE GONNA BE SOLD OUT BEFORE I GET TO BUY THEM THO AAAAAAAAA #o yea by Omori related stuff I meant how much art I’ve drawn lmao #twelfth post

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bajibitch · 2 years

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How would they treat you quiz: Nahoya

Someone asked how I think he would be in general and the answer varies.

Warnings: abuse, toxic, yandere

When the two of you are arguing and he realizes it was a misunderstanding on his part, he’ll put his pride aside and apologize. Would your reaction be to:

A. say you need some time to think or accept the apology

B. say the last thing that came to your mind when you were arguing

He's telling you about his past and it's clear that he's upset with how things were. Would your reaction be to:

A. let him vent and show your support by comforting him

B. tell him you don't feel like hearing something sad

He's laughing at a joke that he came across and you ask him to share it but it turns out to be corny. Would your reaction be to:

A. make light fun of the fact that a weak joke has him holding his stomach

B. visibly show that you're unamused and say it wasn't that funny

You're watching a show together and the two of you have different theories on how the show will end. Would your reaction be to:

A. listen to him and try and see it from his perspective

B. listen to him and call out why his reasons wouldn't make sense

When he was at the mall, he forgot what you asked for and his phone wasn't on him so he got you a variety of other gifts. Would your reaction be to:

A. accept the gifts and remind him that things happen

B. accept the gifts and remind him that you only wanted the thing you asked for

For some reason he keeps throwing up and he feels bad. When he's cleaned his face and lays down next to would your reaction be to:

A. Ask him if he's okay and be there for him as well as you can

B. Ask him if he's okay and tell him you don't want to get sick so he should be careful not to spread germs

You’ve been calling his name for a minute and he hasn't responded so you go to him and see that he's sleeping. Would your reaction be to:

A. let him sleep and tell him what you wanted after he wakes up

B. wake him up and tell him what you needed him for

Baji’s throwing a party and he wants to wear matching colors with you because he thinks it’ll be cute. Would your reaction be to:

A. wear the clothes he picked out for you, it’s your style and it matches him

B. wear the clothes you already had picked out, sure his outfit was your style but you wanted to stand out

He comes home late for the third time this week and when you ask what he's been doing he tells you he was with his friends and even has on his gang uniform. Would your reaction be to:

A. tell him that you suspected he was being unfaithful so he can reassure you there's no one else

B. tell him that you suspected he was being unfaithful and start going through his thing when he isn't around even though he assured you there was no one else

You were with your friend that he doesn't like and when you walk into the house you see him watching tv, he casually asks what you were doing. Would your reaction be to:

A. Tell him about the day you had with your friend

B. Tell him about the day you had but replace your friend's name with someone he likes

If you chose mostly A:

He treats you like the love of his life. He never wants the relationship to end so he's considerate about your feelings and makes compromises when it's needed. When people see both of you out they can feel how strong your love is for one another and hope to find someone of their own.

If yours was half:

The relationship is alright but he wouldn't be too upset if it ended because he's still debating if he likes you. You have your good moments but when things get bad it feels like it goes on forever. When people see both of you they wait to see how guys act towards one another before asking how things have been. One minute the two of you are inseparable and the next minute the two of you are screaming in each other's face.

If chose mostly B:

You're his toy that he plays with when he’s bored. You never have a moment of relief as long as he’s around. He works overtime to shatter your confidence and break you down to the point where you’re acting like his obedient pet because by then you realize that without him you’re nothing and have no one because you don't deserve to be treated well. He doesn't care who's around he treats you the same, so the others try not to make eye contact with you because you got harmed the last time you asked them for help.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #nahoya x reader #nahoya kawata #yandere nahoya #yandere smiley #yandere

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crtter · 2 years

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I really like how Spamton’s regular speech quirks and his speech quirk while in NEO form are different. He’s like, very slightly more “in control” of the way he speaks when he’s NEO (which is ironic because he’s sure less in control when it comes to things like being able to stand up on his own).

It’s so subtle you might not even notice it, but when he’s regular Spamton he can very rarely get a phrase out without being interrupted by the bits and pieces of ads and the occasional contextless rambling about his past, which is usually done within brackets, but not always. There are also misspellings, odd spacing and letters being replaced by numbers (not to mention the completely censored swearing) which is a very common thing in spam, as they’re trying to get past certain filters that might have been put up by e-mail services and the such. If you want to see this in action, look no further than Tumblr itself: whenever you’re followed by a spambot on here, before you block them, take a look at how they type! Whatever is stopping Spamton from speaking his mind is akin to one of these filters.

When he’s NEO, however, while the bits and pieces of ads and the misspellings still happen, they’re nowhere as frequent as with regular Spamton. In fact, we mostly see him use single words within brackets rather than full phrases, which implies that, while there’s still something holding him back, whatever he manages to spit out is much closer to what he’s actually trying to say than he’s usually able to convey!

Of course, very, very rarely, we get a glimpse of what Spamton might actually sound like before all that happened! And that’s when he speaks in lowercase with correct punctuation. We get to see it five times: three of these are in Spamton’s shop: when he starts talking about the knight and something makes him stop and switch right back to what both sounds like an ad and venting about his life, when he mentions Mike and gets all static-y and when we prompt him to speak about fear and he goes static-y again and asks if somebody can hear him. Of course, this last time might not be ACTUALLY him speaking but someone else entirely speaking through him.

We also get to see it before the NEO fight and right after it: he’s joyfully talking about not being a puppet anymore and suddenly realizes he’s being held by actual strings (ouch) and goes “Or… so… I… thought.” and when he’s defeated and forced back into his regular form, completely tangled in the strings that held him up and he admits his defeat, encourages Kris and the others to break their own strings and joins their party in either Dealmaker or Puppetscarf form, which! If we made Kris’ inventory purposefully too full to obtain, we get to see him revert into his regular, not-NEO speech pattern as he realizes what’s going on and gets angry! He goes from a confused, still lowercase “…Kris…?” to “Kris!?” and then “KRIS!?!?!” and then goes on an angry rant all in uppercase, bits and pieces of ads interrupting him between brackets in full phrases, the same as when we first meet him.

It’s played for humorous effect and ngl, it IS pretty funny but it’s also very sad once you stop and think about it. He’s back to square one. Spamton can’t help but come off as amusing in how bombastic he is, which contrasts a lot with his current living situation. The salesman schtick he’s barely able to turn off sounds just plain comical most of the time. Ironically enough given how he canonically has a hatred of them that borders on physical revulsion, Spamton is, in his current state, not much more than a little tragic clown himself.

#reporting live #deltarune #deltarune meta #Deltarune analysis #spamton #spamton g. spamton #spamton neo #writing deltarune meta is how I cope with how messy my life is rn #long post

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flashhxn-lights · 2 years

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Thoma x female reader comfort

Context: you felt insecure about your body and how nothing fits your beautiful, amazing, perfect, cute body body

Thoma taking notice on how your usual aura was replaced with a sad depressed like aura and asked what was going on

Warnings: nothing, just Thomas cute ass comforting a person who is has a beautiful ass personality and body <3

Laying on your fluffy bed while wearing a big hoodie and scrolling through Instagram looking at the models beautiful bodies

Feeling more and more insecure the more you look at their bodies not knowing that they were just photoshopped rlly well

Thoma taking a day off because he was worried about his fiance

He has never seen you this.. what's the right word

Dull?

Thoma walked to your bedroom and knocked gently "my love are you in there?"

Lazily and dully saying "the door is open.."

Having no energy to get up from your bed or to scroll anymore

Turning off your phone and eyes looking at Thoma's face askin what he wants

"Darling you have been more.. dull and depressed like these days, is something going on?"

You were trying your hardest to not let out a single drop of year so you looked the other way

Saying everything is fine but your voice cracked

Cursing yourself at that while Thoma gently hugs you from behind

"Are you… okay?"

That was the final drop for you, breaking into tears and hugging Thoma back and venting off your feelings

Thoma putting you in his lap and gently plays with your hair and listens to you closely

"Darling, listen.

Your perfect just the way you are, you're amazing, wonderful, nice, sweet, smart, cute, perfect, hot, kind, funny, strong and more

You inspire me to keep going, and your body..

Its a work of art

The Gods spend their whole life building you and what came out wasn't a garbage

But a lovely Goddess of my dreams

You are the person who I wanted in my whole life, even the people I work with are jealous i have a sexy fiancé like you * chuckling *

And even if you have any flaws about your body or really anything, all I see is nothing but perfection"

Endless praises coming out of his mouth and kissing you softly on the lips then your nose, then your cheeks (am talking about the face ones), forehead, neck, hands and lookin at you for consent to lift your hoodie up

You hesitantly nodding and Thoma taking off your hoodie and kissing you everywhere

Not letting a single spot go without his kiss.

Saying a praise every time he kisses a part of your body.

Thoma giving you his shirt which fitted you perfectly, chuckling and saying how cute you look with his shirt

"Oh shut the fuck up.. am not even that cute"

"Your right, your sexy, not cute dear~"

Hugging you and laying on your stomach while playing with your hair

"Am so glad that I have a man like you.."

Thoma giggling at how cute you are and saying how he's so lucky and blessed to get a masterpiece like you.

You both slowly falling asleep and going to whoreface-land cus why not

Do not steal or repost my works.

Special tags:

Babe just know your PERFECT just the way you are and am rlly rlly RLLY sorry if you didn't like the fic!

↑

This goes for everyone

#꒰꒰⟆⁺ ˖˚ ໑🌺 fluffy fanfics ᕱ⑅ᕱ #thoma x reader fluff #thoma x reader #genshin impact x reader fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin Thoma

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toujoursmiraculous · 3 years

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Thoughts and Reaction to ROCKETEAR!

It's a long post, but when are these ever really short? xD Seeing Carapace first made me so excited. I've been sad we haven't had much of him in the show. And then I saw that it seemed like Ladynoir was doing pretty good as they only had Carapace helping them this time. More S2 & S3 like. So I was like cool, cool, this is great. But what the heck scientist WHY ARE YOU BRINGING TYRANNOSAURUS REX'S BACK! Obviously she's going to be something big later on, she's too nicely animated not to be back. Not to mention Bob Roth's plans. Anyone else both intrigued but also scared at what that could do later? Big upcoming plot point, I think.

I screamed awwww because this is everything. I've wanted a LB/Carapace and Marinette/Nino friendship bond in this show since season 1. This scene made me incredibly happy! I'm a huge Nino fan, for those that don't know, so you can imagine how much I love this episode. Even though sad Nino.

"Alya, everyone has to believe that you will never use the Miraculous again!" End of episode: So anyway... So what I'm seeing here is, Alya's not fond of the idea of being just a spy, not being in on the action. Even though it's Ladybug's plan. Chat Noir isn't fond of what's going on right now either, where he thinks what's going on is all Ladybug's plans. Alya makes the decision to not do what Ladybug wants and tells Nino she's still Rena Rouge. So what's Chat Noir going to do to go against her? Because that's coming up on the horizon. Despite everything being easier for Marinette since everything's not just on her shoulders now, she's still been unable to play video games with her dad, and we know how much she loves doing that. :c That's really sad she doesn't even have time for her family anymore. DJWifi over here being all adorable. "You don't love me anymore!" Me: *Chat Blanc flashbacks* Alya suggests her new content could be Chat Noir edits and Marinette's like YES DO THOSE. Then those edits helped push Nino into thinking she was into Chat. Big oops. Not gonna lie, the rewind freaked me out for a moment. Last time I saw that was Chat Blanc so I thought something big was up. But nope, it's just like that scene in Puppeteer 2. Ugh poor Nino! He knows something's bothering Alya, but she won't say what it is and her behavior's too off from how she normally is. Poor guy. x.x Grumpy Nino that Carapace doesn't get attention and then they wrote his girlfriend with Chat Noir. I remember when Alya was grumpy for a bit about Rena Rouge not getting a party to celebrate her. Movie Ladybug telling Movie Chat Noir that he's better with Movie Rena Rouge. Is this a reference to the episode in Avatar, The Ember Island Players? Getting strong vibes when Play Aang and Play Katara were like, we're just friends nothing more and it's great! Play Katara was extremely into Play Zuko. I can see why Ladybug dismissed the movie (or was it the previous one since it's been awhile? Maybe?) because Rena Rouge and Chat Noir???? The writers (of the movie) just wanted to be different because everyone can see Ladynoir, unless they're blind. Alya and Nino are Andre's favorite couple. YES THANK YOU. I mean they're not my favorite because Love Square. BUT they're my second favorite next to them. Those kids are super adorable but definitely that kid playing Chat wasn't doing Nino any favors. First picture Alya shows. Chat with a heart tail. Yeah that's not doing her any favors lol. Nino: UGH CHAT NOIR'S COMING IN BETWEEN ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND. I KNOW, I'LL CALL MY BEST FRIEND TO VENT TO ABOUT IT. Best Friend Chat Noir: Best Friend Chat Noir: Welp maybe I should see what's up. Maybe I went a little to hard on the cat charm and she's fallen in love with me. Me: Oh oof here we go. Also can I ask, if anyone knows, who animated this episode? The fluidity is great and it looks really pretty. But it doesn't quite look like SAMG's work either. Whoever did it, I love it. S2 Chat Noir: You're not replacing me with a turtle, are you? :c S4 Nino: Who would want a reckless turtle as a partner? BOYS STOP. But yeah this whole scene had me laughing so hard XD Very dramatic and I love it. Nino's hilarious even when he's worried and sad! I would've absolutely loved to have heard this in English with the old English voice of Nino, but the new one worries me on whether or not he'll do a good job sounding like Nino and less high-pitched and whiny. :/ New York Nino was great but S4 Nino....x.x THE TRANSITION BETWEEN HIS INNER MONOLOGUE AND SPEAKING REGULARLY AGAIN 😂😂😂😂 Brilliant! It doesn't really feel like Miraculous Ladybug this episode, and I love it. Not that I don't love the show as usual but wow this is great. Okay, I want to point out that Chat Noir

probably was more worried about it than he would've been otherwise because of what happened with Marinette in Weredad. It probably made him more cautious about this sort of thing.

LOL Chat's sulking because Alya's laughing at the idea of being interested in him. 😂😂 I know that's a blow to one's ego and all, and he's dealt with this kind of thing a lot so I do feel bad for him, but that is his best friend's girlfriend and he definitely doesn't want her to like him. Alya: With him it's not just ❤️it's *makes massive hand gesture indicating she loves him deeply* SO SO SO CUTE OKAY ALL THIS DJWIFI 😭 Alya: And I don't even know your secret identity! I would never fall in love with someone I don't know. Chat Noir, literally fell in love with Ladybug, whose identity he doesn't know. Well Alya, I wonder if you saying that matters for later somehow.... o.O Nino running away crying is honestly one of the things that hurts me most in the entire show. Ugh. Adrien over here being all, I'm having a good day. I'm happy and smiling and it's great. And then it wasn't. Adrien, if Nino let him and didn't interrupt, would've told him about how Alya really doesn't love Chat Noir, and that would've seriously led up to his identity being exposed since Nino was watching and filmed them. o.o Did you notice how he was going to tell him about it? S4, the basement is where it's at. Adrien: Uhh, when did you arrange all this? Nino: *pounds fist on desk* I ASK THE QUESTIONS! 😂 So like. Why is Nino interrogating Adrien when he's after Chat Noir? He doesn't know they're the same person. XD He's looking at him like Adrien has info he's keeping or something omg.

Also again this animation is so nice. Adrien, feeling uncomfortable and so turns the music off. Nino, wanting his dramatic music on while he interrogates Adrien, turns it back on. Adrien, feeling even more irritated and uncomfortable, wants the music OFF and turns it off. Nino, turns the music back on. This may be a reference to something, I don't know, but lolol it's so funny. This episode is both super hilarious and super angsty! Honestly they've done such a good job in my opinion. Nino: I'm talking about something that I shouldn't tell you! ...but I'm going to tell you anyway! Alya's Rena Rouge and I'm Carapace! Okay but the way Adrien went from shock to utter anger, knocked his chair back and grabbed Nino's shoulders like "Tell me the truth. You two know about each other?" Aw man, my poor sunshine boy. A lot of the stuff bothering Adrien is all circumstantial, none of it is to purposefully keep him in the dark. And yet from his perspective, that's how it looks. "I thought secret identities must be protected at all times! If that was the truth, you would never tell me this!" Alright so three things. If he's referring to him saying that Nino and Alya know about each other, that was situational and important info for him to know now that this is out. It wasn't important to know before this. The time it happened was dire and was really no time to get around it. If he's talking about Nino telling him the secrets, well yeah that's not supposed to happen and Nino broke that trust. But also, I get the feeling pretty strongly at this point Adrien's going to be breaking some rules too and one of which is he's going to tell Nino who he is. Adrien's being too emotional in this scene to not be involved in it all, I'm wondering if that's going to be questioned later by Nino. He's acting like he knows too much to be a random viewer of the heroes like the rest of Paris. Also Adrien's best friend just totally dissed Chat Noir and went off about how he throws himself at Ladybug whenever he sees her with roses and love confessions. 😂😂😂 This is just too funny! "But he's always rejected because Ladybug finds him annoying! And she's completely right!" Omg Nino, that's not the reason anymore, shush! "And then Rena Rouge appears and he goes *tickles under Adrien's chin* hey pretty lady! You look elegant and you have great perfume." OMG does Chat Noir actually say and do stuff like that to Rena Rouge or is he just exaggerating here XD "If I could I would shut his mouth forever!" Yeah Nino, say what you really think about your best friend in the entire world. Yikes poor Adrien though. I never imagined he'd hear all these bad things about himself from his best friend directly like that. :/ That's a major misunderstanding of him. Which kind of pushes me more towards the "he's going to tell Nino" theory. Sad Adrien transformation DDDX Alya: *explained everything about why Chat Noir went over to her house in the middle of the night* Marinette *facepalm* Ugh that Chat Noir... Well at least there will be no misunderstandings there! xD "Chat Noir, you stole Alya from me! I will steal your life from you." Good lord man calm down. You can't just kill a man! Fanon: Chat Noir gets attacked by a guy over Marinette. Canon: Chat Noir gets attacked by a guy over Alya. Time to go back to the basement! lol Nino's music's still playing xD And the video is left with it paused on Chat Noir hugging Alya. Marinette looked a bit sad, but it was probably more about the situation being a mess rather than being sad he'd hug her. Meanwhile, Chat Noir's fighting Nino and would rather get beaten up by him than fight. x.x "I can't believe that I doubted you." "I can't believe I chose to do anything but be with you!" She wiped away akumatized Nino's tear just like how Ladybug wiped away akumatized Chat Noir's. ALL THE PARALLELS 😭😭😭 But that hug is so sweet!! Nino broke off the akumatization just like Alya did :o Dang, I wonder if that means something later too. "Love and secrets do not go well together, Ladybug. And I'm sure you have a lot of

them!" Secrets = from Chat Noir. Love = for Chat Noir. Yeah even Shadow Moth knows at this point. xP Thanks for that foreshadowing. Nino's charm is my favorite charm so far! It's my favorite shade of blue. Chat Noir: Everybody has doubts sometimes...even me." Ladybug: Is everything okay, Chat Noir? Chat: Oh yes...pound it!

So um. The placemet of Adrien's poster in between Chat Noir, Ladybug, and just with this entire situation feels very strange. Very intentional. But no clue exactly what that could mean..... Nino and Alya are happy over there watching those two, like they're waiting for them to figure things out or something. But really, Adrien should've talked to Ladybug when he could still do so calmly and be reasonable. I doubt that's going to be the case later on. And honestly Ladybug doesn't even know what's going on. Every episode we've seen really either has them working together or she's unable to be Ladybug when he's unable to be Chat Noir most of the time. I've said it before but these two really need to communicate. Nino and Alya are like a less adorably romantic version of what they'd be. "But they're a couple and they know their secret identities, so why does that rule exist for us but they can know?" Very simple. Because they were temporary holders and the Miraculous they had, Hawk Moth hasn't made it his life's mission to obtain, unlike them, who are permanent holders and Hawk Moth's been after them fiercely to make a Wish that could destroy everything. But. The fact he's asking this, and Marinette's Chat Blanc nightmare, really points in the direction that he's going to eventually find out that while she's thought about telling him all along, Chat Blanc's kept her from doing so.

Okay, so while it looks like he's staring up at the moon, if you notice, it really is just one of the pink bubbles.

Now, they could be making it seem like it's the moon though to give it a double meaning. But poor Kitty, he's feeling so awful right now over in that dark corner Dx Nino felt bad for only two episodes? and it got resolved, so hopefully this all won't last too much longer for him! Marinette had a few shaky episodes so hopefully he'll have a few before it gets resolved. But somehow I think that may be wishful thinking. This episode was so amazing, honestly. Wonderful writing, made me laugh a lot, aw a lot, and hurt a lot. It focused on the core 4 characters which I've wanted more of for a long time. The animation was beautiful. And it just felt so different in such a good way. Chat Noir's having a hard time right now, and I know there's a lot of anger and hate about it going around. But please, think of this as him hitting a rough spot in the road to a much better and brighter future. He's going to end up okay, he'll understand it all someday. And that day's honestly not that far for him if you think about it.

#ml #miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #ml season 4 spoilers #chat blanc #rocketear spoilers #ml spoilers season 4 #toujoursmiraculous thoughts and reaction #ladybug #chat noir #carapace #rena rouge #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir

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trashyswitch · 3 years

Text

Putting Elizabeth Back Together

Michael is finally taking the time to put Baby back together. After she's mostly finished, Baby surprises him with her curiosity and her advancements.

This fanfic has mentions of death (Michael's, William's and Elizabeth's) and references to PTSD. If you're sensitive to that subject, it is quite short and takes place while he's looking at the scooper.

As well, this fanfic prompt was suggested by another anonymous user. I hope you enjoy despite the slight dark themes! Although, this is FNAF...So...it's bound to happen.

Michael had calmly waited for the elevator ride to finish before walking out of the elevator with one of the boxes of scrap metal he had collected. Looking around for a moment, his eyes came across a hand truck in the corner of the building. That would be perfect for transporting! Michael placed the box onto the hand truck, and wheeled it over to the elevator. When it opened, Michael wheeled it in and placed all 7 of the boxes of metal parts onto the hand truck. Then in one quick trip, Michael brought everything further into the building. The best part was that it wasn’t that hard to push! If only he had this thing upstairs. Trying to open up the elevator while holding heavy boxes filled with metal that’ll slice you open, had quickly proven to be quite difficult earlier.

Michael walked a different way into the Pizza World rooms so that he didn’t have to try and crawl the hand truck through the tiny vents. He soon made it back to a storage spot that hadn’t been locked. Michael wheeled the stuff into it and decided to use this as his work station. Michael left the stuff inside the storage room and walked over to where the scooping room was.

He opened the door, and shivered at the look of the scooper. It was still a little stained with his own blood. The organs were gone, but you could tell something had happened in this room. Michael bit his lip as he felt the huge gaping hole that had been scooped into his gut. That scooper hurt terribly. Though the nerves were pretty much destroyed in the incident, he could still remember the phantom pain of the scooper hitting his intestines. How he wasn’t dead from physical trauma or even the internal bleeding, he will never know.

As Michael walked around the scooper to get to Baby’s body, he could feel himself disassociating and flashing back to the scooping incident over and over again in his head. The beeping...the impact...the pain, and the redness that filled his eyes just before he blacked out from trauma. It felt like he was hearing the beeping all over again. And he thought he had seen the scooper move a little bit. He tried to convince himself it didn’t actually move, and it was just his imagination. But his head was telling him to RUN!

Michael suddenly felt the back of his foot stop against something, making him lose his footing. Michael came crashing down onto the animatronic parts, making an ear-ringing metallic crash. It felt like 8 separate symbols had smashed almost at the same time! And the sound physically HURT. Michael groaned as his ears slowly stopped ringing. Moving and opening his jaw seemed to help a little. Michael got himself back up with help from the wall, and looked around for Circus Baby’s upper body. He couldn’t see it with the other animatronics. So where was it?

Michael took some time to look around, and soon found Baby’s head without the hair. It was hidden in the far corner of the scooping room on top of a maintenance desk. On top of that, Michael found more parts of Baby: her middle chest piece with the red sleeves, the fan that belonged in her belly, her full red skirt, and one of her hands without the plate covering. It looked like a black skeleton claw without the plates covering it. Using the legs and an arm from Funtime Foxy, Michael started bringing the supplies one by one to the storage closet to start working on putting Baby back together bit by bit. On top of that, Michael started collecting tons of wires from the other animatronics and putting them into a pile. With a few rolls of electrical tape at his disposal, he’d be able to make the wires longer.

Michael started off with the neck, chest and arms. Michael grabbed a voice box from Ballora’s chest and placed it into Baby. With that in place, Michael placed Baby onto the desk and placed the arm down beside it as well. He put the flashlight into his mouth and removed the chest plates from Circus Baby to replace the fan. But a strong smell emitted from Baby. It made Michael wince in disgust. If he still had a stomach, he probably would’ve thrown up. But Michael continued anyway until he accessed a storage unit of some sort.

This sent Michael mixed feelings. He knew his father was capable of murder and kidnapping, which made the storage tank all the less surprising. But...is this where the smell is coming from? Michael grabbed a metal cutter and attempted to open it. But when he couldn’t, he looked around for an easy access opening. Thankfully, there was one. Michael opened it up and found…

A red bow in the bottom of the storage unit.

Michael sighed as he grabbed the bow and put it into his pocket. He knew exactly who’s bow it was: Elizabeth’s. Michael removed the containment unit from Baby’s body and threw it out the window. No more murder. No more kidnaps. William’s murderous tendencies can end with him. Next, Michael found a metal claw thing that had been hidden inside Baby. He removed it, pulled it out and got a better look at it. Hmm...I wonder what this was used for?

With some time and patience, Michael soon got the upper part of her body done. But it wasn’t without its complications. The Foxy arm that Michael had planned to use for Baby, had a separate attachment option than Baby’s arm. This had annoyed him to no end. But the moment he looked at the leftover claw, Michael started to experiment with it. Could the claw be used as another hand option? With a little tweaking and wiring, it could! Even though it looked like something even more murderous than his father’s blueprint plans, it did make Baby look more complete.

Michael soon laid the upper body down on the desk and started attaching the legs. Funnily enough, the legs were similarly reattachable just like Baby’s legs. Though Foxy’s legs looked more slim than Baby’s did. Baby had some thick legs. But with the new set up and the arms (kinda), the legs seemed to look anatomically correct. So, Michael connected them and stood Circus Baby back up.

It was...not as pretty as it started out. Well duh...It most likely wasn’t gonna be as nice-looking. The nice-looking one was also a secret killer. At least it actually looks like it commits murders. Michael started up the Servos motor, and watched as the animatronic quickly came back to life. Circus Baby lifted its body, opened its eyes wider and started moving its hand and arms around.

“Hello! Welcome to Circus Baby’s Pizza world. Are you ready for the show? I can sing, I can dance, I can even make you ice cream.” Baby greeted.

“Hello again Baby.” Michael greeted with a smile.

Baby moved her left hand up to her chin. “Do I know you?” She asked.

Michael nodded. “I worked here a week ago. Eggs Benedict, as Handunit called me.” Michael explained.

Baby held her hands in front of her belly, and tilted her head to the side with a smile. “Welcome back Mr. Afton.”

Michael’s eyes widened. How-

“I recognize you now. You’re much too big to fit in my storage tank. You must be fully grown.” Baby told him.

Michael bit his lip and awkwardly nodded. Thank goodness for that. “Do...Do you know my name?” Michael asked.

“You’re the first born son of Afton. He talked about you while he was building me. He didn’t know I was aware at the time.” Circus Baby explained.

Michael nodded and started to detach the chest again. Michael grabbed some wires and started connecting them to Circus Baby’s neck. “That’s funny. My father barely noticed me, and was too embarrassed to talk about me.” Michael admitted.

Baby looked at Michael as he weaved the wires into the chest and replaced them. “What are you doing to me?” Baby asked.

“Fixing you as best I can.” Michael replied.

“Where is Mr. Afton?” Baby asked.

“He…” Michael sighed as he removed a faulty wire. “He died a decade ago. He got into a wearable animatronic, and…” Michael made a raspberry sound and did a ‘cut the throat’ signal to represent death.

“Oh.” Baby replied. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Michael guffawed and snorted at those words. Baby quickly lifted her head up to look at him in worry. Michael’s smile dropped as he saw Baby’s facial expression. “Sorry. He...did some really bad things. So: it was a relief to hear he died. He deserved his death.” Michael explained.

Baby looked down, looking really sad. “I did something bad once.” Baby admitted.

Michael nodded. “I know, I know. You tried to give a little girl ice cream, and you ended up killing her.” Michael added.

“I didn’t know I would do that. I didn’t know my ice cream would be used to kill a child.” Baby admitted.

Michael placed his hands onto her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “I know that. And it’s okay. You were created by an evil man who killed children with his bare hands. You are not to blame for what happened to Elizabeth.” Michael told her.

Baby tilted her head. “...Elizabeth?”

Michael nodded. “Yup. Her name was Elizabeth.” he explained. He looked down a little. “She was my sister.”

Baby looked down, hung her head and dropped her tiny pigtail connectors. “I’m sorry.”

Michael smiled empathetically and lifted her chin a little with his hand. “It’s okay. You remind me of her a lot.” He admitted. “Just...with no british accent.” Michael said with a chuckle.

Baby looked at him more and smiled.

“Now: I need to keep wiring you up and replacing any faulty wires. You’re kind of a mess right now, Baby.” Michael told her as he started connecting a wire to her neck.

“Okay. I’ll try to stay still Mr. Afto-” Baby stopped herself. She looked at Michael for clarification.

Michael chuckled and connected another wire. “Call me Michael.”

Michael took a break from all the wiring in the body, and decided to spend some time turning black wires and different-colored tube parts into makeshift pigtails for her. When he filled in the face with layered orange and yellow bangs, Michael put together a pony by wrapping another black wire around the start of both pigtails. After the pigtails and the bangs were complete, Michael returned to fixing the wires on her body. But when Michael worked on her neck, Baby began struggling to stay still.

“Michael, your hands feel strange against my neck.” Baby admitted.

“Feel...strange…?” Michael repeated slowly. He brought his hand up to Baby’s neck and touched it. “Like this?”

Baby smiled and tilted her head to the side the hand was on. “Yes!”

“You...You can feel something?” Michael asked, moving his hand to the front of her neck. Baby quickly pushed his hand away with her hand and...let out a quiet little giggle. It was hard to hear, but Michael was just able to catch it.

Michael decided to ignore it for now, and started weaving a few wires through the chest. That didn’t seem to cause a reaction. But as soon as the other side of the wire reached her side, Baby started wiggling and smiling a little wider. Michael looked up at Baby just once, and quickly started spidering his fingers up and down the left white side cover.

Baby’s reaction was immediate! She closed her eyes as she let out a squeal! She quickly leaned over and covered up her side with her arms. “Heeheehee!...” Baby opened her eyes and looked down in confusion. “It’s making me laugh.” Baby looked up at Michael.

Michael was looking at her with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. Her laughter was...really innocent-sounding! And it reminded him a little of his mother’s laugh. “I...Wow!” Michael immediately ran back up and started tickling the side again. “Do you actually feel this?”

Baby closed her eyes and started giggling again. As her hands moved around to cover up her sides, Michael snuck around and started attacking them from behind. This caused Baby to squeal again and bounce around on the spot! “HEHEHEhehehe! Mihihichahahael! Ihihihi dohohon’t uhuhunderstahahahand!” Baby told him, shaking her head as she giggled.

“This is gonna sound nuts…” Michael paused for a moment and held his forehead. “But so far, you have the same ticklish spots as Elizabeth.” Michael finished.

Baby had her back to Michael while holding her sides a few feet in front of him. Curious, Baby turned her head around 180 degrees to look at him again. “Really?” Baby asked, turning the rest of her body 180 degrees to match her head’s direction.

Michael widened his eyes at the super wrong head contortion, but soon walked back up to her. “Yeah! Her sides,” Michael poked her sides and watched as Baby jumped and threw her pigtails up.

“Her neck,” Michael gave both sides of Baby’s neck a little tickle. Baby giggled and started laughing as well while bouncing on the spot and waving her head back and forth.

“And her hips!” Michael went for the orange pieces at the bottom right before Baby’s skirt, and gave them both a squeeze. To Michael’s surprise, Baby leaped a good 3 feet into the air and thankfully, landed on both her feet! But the moment Michael so much as touched her orange ‘hips’ again, Baby flopped backwards onto the ground like she had lost all the muscles in her legs.

Michael had bursted out laughing at Baby’s funny-looking fall. Baby had gotten herself back up onto her feet, and looked at Michael with growing curiosity in her eyes. “Do you have this same feeling?” Baby walked up to Michael and attempted to give his side a poke. While the finger touched the shirt, the shirt seemed to sink in, revealing something unusual about his body shape. Baby was about to lift up Michael’s shirt to see why his body was so thin, but Michael pushed her hand away and tucked his shirt in again. “No touching my lower body.” Michael ordered. He waved his hands up and down from the bottom ribs to the hips. “All of this is a no touch zone.” Michael told her.

Baby nodded in understanding, and proceeded to poke his ribs instead. Michael jumped and yelped, quickly realizing what she was doing. He tried stepping back to get away, but it didn’t take long for another yelp to leave Michael’s mouth as he discovered: He had backed himself into a wall! Baby smiled, opened her big claw hand and placed it around him! This caused Michael to get stuck in between the claw and somewhat pinned against the wall.

“I want to see if you jump and giggle when I poke you.” Baby told him casually.

Michael tried to get himself through the claw, but the claw spikes would scratch against his arms and dig into the already-dying skin. So he was forced to attempt escapes while she tickled him out of pure curiosity.

Baby started off poking his different ribs. Michael would yelp and jump with each and every poke, trying his hardest not to satisfy her. But the longer that she poked and scratched the ribs, the more his instincts would betray him. Soon, Baby would tilt her head at the look of a wobbly smile growing on his face. “You do grow happy when I poke your endoskeleton.” Baby reacted with a smile.

Next, Baby tried tickling his neck. Michael squealed super high-pitched and shook his head all over the place. Then, things got even worse when Baby remembered how Michael had squeezed her! Baby had started imitating the squeezing motion, which was making Michael sweat in fear and anticipation. Finally, after about 3 minutes of squeezing the air, Baby moved her hand to the ribs and gave them a squeeze.

“eeEEEEEHEHEHEHEHE! STAHAHAHAHA!” Michael bursted out laughing almost instantly!

Baby was impressed! “You sound like you’re having fun.” Baby told him as she continued squeezing and poking his ribs.

“IHIHIHIHI- BAHAHAHABYYYYYY! STAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIHI’M WAHAHAY TOO-TIHIHICKLIHIHISH!” Michael shouted loudly.

Baby stopped squeezing and leaned her body ahead a little. “What did you say?” She asked.

Michael’s laughter fell right to giggles the moment she stopped tickling. “Ihi...I said...Stop I’m way too ticklish.” Michael replied.

Baby straightened her back and tilted her head to the right side. “What is ticklish?”

Michael let out a few laughs and widened his smile a little. “Ihit’s...something I haven’t experienced in years.” He replied. “It’s...what I was doing to you. Tickling you, to be specific. Tickle is a noun meaning to touch someone in a spot that makes them laugh.” Michael explained. “E...Elizabeth...I tickled her a lot...especially as a toddler.” Michael explained.

“Ooh. So this-” Elizabeth gave his ribs another squeeze, “is tickling.” Baby asked.

Michael squeaked yet again and bursted out laughing again. “YEHEHEHES, TIHICKLIHIHING, FEHEHEHEELS LIHIHIKE IHIT, YEHEHEAH!” Michael replied, nodding his head.

Baby smiled and continued to squeeze his ribs. “I’m tickling you. I’m giving you a tickle squeeze.” Baby said out loud as she tickled him.

“OHOHOKAHAHAY, YOHOHOU CAHAHAN STAHAHAP NOHOHOW!” Michael tried to order.

Baby tilted her head and lowered her pigtails. “But why would I stop? You’re enjoying yourself the way children enjoy ice cream, or balloons. You’re laughing.” Baby told him.

Michael didn’t really want to admit it, but she had a point. He was actually enjoying himself. The years of not being touched properly, were starting to really get to him. And this random act of touch, was making up for all the years of lacking love. It felt...nice.

“OHOHOKAHAHAY. YOHOHOU- YOHOHOU’RE RIHIHIGHT. IHIHI LIHIHIKE THIHIHIS. YOHOHOU WIHIHIN.” Michael finally gave up.

Baby raised her pigtails and practically beamed upon hearing those words. ‘You’re right’! ‘You win’! She was right! She actually won! Baby placed Michael down and clapped her metal hand and claw together excitedly. “I won! I won! I won I won I won!” She declared.

Baby quickly pulled out a few balloons from another little storage unit, and started blowing up balloons with her fingers. Then, she tied them together and added string to them. Michael watched the funny celebration reaction as he got himself up off the floor. Then, to Michael’s surprise:

Baby handed him the tied bouquet of balloons. “Here.”

Michael looked at the balloons, in which the strings had been tied together near the bottom. Michael smiled and happily took the balloons.

...Only for him to tie it onto a dresser knob and squeeze Baby’s hips again.

Baby squealed yet again, and flopped backwards onto the ground, holding her hips. This time, Michael took advantage of the girl down and climbed on, to continue tickling her hips and sides. Baby was now a mess of childish laughter and cute little giggles. And thankfully, Michael never got a claw to the face! Who knew that putting Baby back together would be one of the best things to ever happen to him?

#mentions elizabeth #michael and scrap baby #circus baby turned scrap baby #eggs benedict is michael afton #corpse michael #michael afton has ptsd #mild hurt/comfort #family fluff #ticklefic #switch!baby #switch!michael

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