#this is entirely self indulgent and based off personal experience | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bratzforchris · 28 days

Text

Five Love Languages, M. Sturniolo

Summary: The five love languages look a little different for Matt and his girlfriend, but that's always okay<3

Pairing: Matt x neurodivergent fem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of autistic burnout, this is entirely self indulgent

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: I think we need more representation around here, especially for different neurotypes and disabilities <3 This fic is based off of this Instagram post :) I am autistic and have ADHD, and this was so much fun to write--if you'd like to see the same thing but for another boy, drop a request in my inbox!

Infodumping༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

“Matt, come here! Now!” You squealed from your shared bedroom, your joy infectious as you bounced up and down on the bed happily.

You could hear the sound of your boyfriend running up the stairs, followed by him bursting through the door, slightly out of breath. “What’s up, honey?” he asked with a smile, noting your happy stims and luminous grin.

“Taylor’s going on tour!” You giggled, shaking your hands in small fists as a way to release all the happy, all-consuming energy that came with engaging in a special interest.

“Oh really?” Matt asked genuinely, sitting beside you on the bed. “Tell me more, hun!” he encouraged you, kissing your cheek gently so as not to get in the way of your movements.

“It’s going to be a tour where she goes through every era,” You smiled, happily bouncing on the bed. “We have to go.”

“We will,” Matt rubbed your knee softly. “As many dates as you want.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up at the thought of getting to experience your special interest with your favorite person.

“Really, honey. What album are you most excited to hear?”

Matt looked at you kindly, his eyes shining with love. He absolutely loved watching how excited you got over your special interests. You had been a huge Taylor Swift fan for over ten years now, and the brunette wished that he could bottle up your happiness whenever you engaged with her music. He would almost equate your joy to that of sunshine, baby animals, and glitter. Where some people thought you were “just a fangirl” or “too obsessed”, Matt loved listening when you infodumped about Taylor Swift. The sheer dedication someone could have to a singular topic was beyond impressive and adorable to him.

“That’s really hard, Matt,” You whined playfully, still happily stimming and flapping your hands. “I really like Lover a lot because it reminds me of you, but I also want to hear reputation because it’s just so iconic. Like the whole snake aesthetic after the Kim and Kayne thing was just perfect. But then I also love folklore because of the love triangle thing and also because it’s just so experimental. Did you know that there was only eleven months between Lover and folklore?” You asked your boyfriend, becoming more animated as you spoke.

“I didn’t know that!” Matt responded, clearly very invested in the conversation. “Here hun, why don’t you play with this instead? I don’t want you to hurt your wrists, sweetie.” he explained softly, passing you a fidget toy that was laying on your nightstand.

You blushed as you took the toy from him, not even realizing just how bad your wrists were hurting. “You’re the best boyfriend ever, do you know that?” You asked him, slowly crawling across the bed and into his lap.

“I think I had an idea or two.” Matt smirked.

You began to play with the fidget toy with one hand and Matt’s hair with the other. You still felt the need to stim, your nervous system buzzing with happiness. Whenever you felt the need to fidget, you loved to mess with your boyfriend’s hair, and he always let you. The way his soft, brown curls slid through your fingers and the way his natural highlights hit the light gave you such good sensory feelings.

“Thank you for listening to me…I know it’s a lot sometimes.” You whispered shyly, hiding your face against his hoodie.

Matt rubbed circles on your back as you played with his hair. “I love listening to you talk Taylor, baby. I think it’s interesting.” he grinned.

“You do?”

“I do,” he booped your nose. “I think it’s cute too.”

“Do you think she’s gonna go era by era?” You asked, still too excited to focus on much else besides your special interest. “I hope so. That would be so much fun.”

“You’re gonna have to teach me everything,” Matt giggled. “I can’t be one of those boyfriends who goes and looks miserable.”

You squealed, untangling your hands from his hair and planting a kiss on his lips. “Oh hun, you’re gonna be the most educated boy in the stadium. You’ll know more Taylor lore than Taylor

Parallel Play ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

You sighed happily, pulling your blanket closer around yourself and taking a sip of your coffee. Thankfully, Matt had a completely free day with nothing to film, which meant you could just enjoy each other’s company. These days were few and far between, but you treasured every one because of how unmasked and free they allowed you to be.

You sat your mug down on the coffee table and picked up the yarn and crochet hook you had set out earlier. Matt sat at the other end of the couch, feet in your lap as he focused intently on his book. You felt your heart swell with love as you took a peek at the cover, and noted that it was a memoir about understanding and aiding your partner in their unmasking journey.

Matt was by far the best boyfriend you had ever had when it came to accepting and loving you, neurodivergence and all. Finding a man who didn’t fetishize or infantilize being an autistic woman was hard, but the brunette was a diamond in the rough. Like right now for example, when he was spending his Saturday morning that he had off learning about how to understand the way your brain worked.

You blushed and picked up your crocheting, beginning to work on the blanket you had started earlier in the week. You had picked a chenille yarn in pretty pastel colors, and the rainbow of yarn, as well as its soft feel made you smile. You began to crochet, taking a peek at Matt every so often. Occasionally, your boyfriend would look up at the same time and catch your eye, sending you a soft smile before going back to reading.

The silence wasn’t awkward, nor was it uncomfortable. Matt had a way of making you feel loved and safe, even without speaking the words out loud. Having grown up with his own mental health struggles around anxiety, your boyfriend understood the importance of “being alone together” and just existing in each other's orbit, without the need for words.

“Thank you.” You whispered shyly after about thirty minutes of silence.

“For what?” Matt asked you, closing the book and setting it on the pillow next to him.

You sat down your craft as well and moved to snuggle into his arms, angling yourself so that you could hear the beat of his heart. “For just letting me be me.”

The brunette buried his nose in your hair, speaking softly against his head. “I love you.”

“You just let me be and we can do our own things without feeling awkward or weird,” You explained. “It’s comforting…and it makes me fall more in love with you.” You giggled softly, a blush creeping up your neck.

Matt held you closer to his body, arms wrapped around you protectively. “You’re perfect, baby. All of you.”

As you snuggled further into his hold, the two of you fell into companionable silence again, enjoying each other’s company. It really was the little moments like these that made you realize just how lucky you were to be in such an accepting, caring relationship.

Support Swapping ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

Over the past year of dating Matt, you had fallen into a wonderful routine with your boyfriend, one that allowed you to distribute your spoons more easily and allowed him a slight break from his anxiety, especially socially.

“Support Swapping” as you two called it was great help and was arguably one of the best parts of your relationship. Being autistic and having ADHD, you tended to struggle with executive functioning, always focusing on the wrong things instead of doing what you needed to maintain a healthy lifestyle. If you were hyperfixated on something, your mind could block out all reminders and signals from your body to eat, drink, rest, and use the bathroom. Once you finally realized how depleted you were, it would inevitably lead to an autistic meltdown because of the overwhelming sensory urges of hunger, exhaustion, and thirst.

Matt, on the other hand, oftentimes struggled with parts of his job that came along with being a content creator. As much as he loved being in front of the camera and giving the fans funny content, he despised writing and sending emails. Nick could edit out anything that made him seem a little too weird or awkward; he couldn’t control how the recipient would take his email. You however, had loved writing ever since you were a little girl and actually took great pride in being able to communicate effectively through the written word.

When you had voiced these concerns with each other and how they made both of you feel emotionally, it was clear there was only one option, and that was to support each other, just like you were on this particular day. It was nearing dinnertime by this point, the sun setting over the LA skyline as you tapped at the computer in Matt’s office. You had been hunched over the computer all day, filling out paperwork and emails for collabs that Matt had to do. You typed up all the notes for him, pasting them into a document, where he could then sign his name and send them off. Between your love of the written word and routine, writing the same thing over and over again was like a weird therapy for you.

“Sweetheart?” You heard a soft knock at the door before Matt entered the room.

“One sec.” You hummed, eyes still trained on the screen. “I’m almost done.”

“Babe,” Matt spun you around in the office chair so that you were facing him. “I love you and I adore you for doing this for me, but it’s almost seven. Time for dinner.” he chuckled, planting a kiss on your lips.

“Oh,” You blushed, not realizing how much time had gone by. Just then, your stomach rumbled, making Matt give you a knowing look. “This is why we help each other and remind each other.” You snorted, facepalming yourself softly.

Matt kissed your forehead gently, helping you out of the chair and guiding you towards the kitchen with a soft hand on the small of your back. Before you two left the office, though, he sneakily closed out your computer, making sure you would spend the rest of the evening resting. Your heart swelled when you walked into the kitchen and saw your and Matt’s small dining table completely laid with dinner and drinks.

“You didn’t.” You smiled, turning towards your boyfriend.

“I did,” Matt picked you up and kissed you as you wrapped your legs around his waist. “I know how distracted you can get when you’re working, sweetheart.”

You blushed as Matt sat you down at the table, knowing he was absolutely right. “You take care of me so well.”

Matt rubbed your knuckles softly as he sat down in his own chair. “That’s what a partnership is for,” he smiled, the adorable crinkles around his eyes that you loved oh-so-much on full display. “We take care of each other.”

"Please Crush My Soul Back Into My Body" ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

You sighed, growing restless as you shifted around in the backseat of the van. The triplets were filming their weekly Friday car video, and you had decided to join on this particular day. You absolutely loved playing Over/Under, but the effects of the evening were beginning to wear on you. Between Chris frequently changing topics to almost anything that wasn’t Over/Under and Nick’s yelling, you were starting to become overstimulated.

You shifted, trying to pull your hoodie off since it was starting to irritate you, only to loudly smack your arm on the hard, plastic door of the car. All three boys looked your way, making your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked with a chuckle, but his eyes held a concerned look.

“Mhm,” You nodded, trying not to let your frustration show. “Just a little too hot.”

“We should finish up. Nick’s second timer has already gone off.” Matt turned in his seat and stretched, trying to discreetly end the video.

Matt knew you almost as well, if not better than you knew yourself, and he could tell that you weren’t super comfortable, despite your best efforts to hide it. Even he had to admit that Chris’s frequent change of topics and Nick’s yelling was getting to be a lot, so he couldn’t even imagine how you were feeling. Luckily, his brothers seemed to take the hint, and the boys swiftly ended the video, with you whispering a little ‘bye’ in the background.

As your boyfriend began to try towards the triplets' LA home, you shoved your earbuds into your ears, closing your eyes and leaning your head against the window. You were overstimulated and exhausted, and the next person to add to sensory overload was going to catch it if you didn’t try to calm yourself. You were so caught up in the awful feelings taking over your body and your anxiety that you didn't even notice that Matt had pulled into the garage and Nick and Chris had vacated the car until your boyfriend turned in his seat, patting your knee.

“You okay, baby?” he asked softly.

“No…” You mumbled, trying not to choke on tears. “Too much.”

Matt understood what you meant and gently helped you out of the car and into the house without another word. On the way to your shared bedroom, he quietly shushed Nick and Chris, mumbling a little ‘overstimulated’. Both brothers were aware of you being autistic and immediately piped down, silently feeling terrible for you.

Your boyfriend sat you down on the edge of the bed, handing you a fidget toy from off your nightstand. Despite the discomfort you were experiencing, you felt your heart swell as you watched Matt gently take off your socks and shoes, before standing up and looking at you.

“Do you want your headphones?” he asked you in sign language.

You could’ve cried right then and there because of your sheer love for Matt. Ever since you two had started dating and you had explained that you used ASL to communicate when you were feeling overstimulated, the brunette had taken it upon himself to learn as much of the language as possible. He was still rather beginner level, but it was the thought behind it that made you want to squeeze him and pepper his face with kisses.

You nodded to his question, and Matt swiftly replaced your earbuds with better quality, noise canceling headphones. You sighed softly at the relief, standing up and wrapping your arms around your boyfriend's waist. “Thank you,” You signed against his chest. “I love you.”

Matt hugged you back gently, almost like he was scared you would break. “Pajamas?” he asked again.

You nodded once more, and your boyfriend gently helped you into soft, sensory approved pajama pants and one of his faded, soft shirts. You quietly got curled up under your weighted blanket as Matt bustled around the room, getting himself ready for bed, but the pressure wasn’t enough. You needed something more. As your boyfriend crawled into bed, you rolled over onto your side, tapping his shoulder gently.

“Will you lay on me?” You signed.

Matt smiled, kissing your forehead gently. He grabbed the remote and turned on your comfort show on the television, before laying his head softly on your stomach. You smiled and sighed contently at the feeling, running your fingers through his soft, brown curls. That was one of your favorite stims, and the feeling of Matt’s pressure, combined with stimming and noise canceling headphones, was slowly calming you down.

Over the hour that followed, Matt softly laid more and more of his body weight over top of you. He knew that deep pressure therapy helped you regulate your nervous system, especially when you were overstimulated. If some extra love and cuddles would help, he wasn’t going to be the one to complain. Sure enough, by the time he looked up at you, you were fast asleep, a happy little smile on your lips.

Penguin Pebbling ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

Matt looked over at you from his position on the couch as you giggled, happily kicking your feet. “What’s so funny?” “Check your Tiktok.” You laughed, a happy little smile taking up residence on your face as you stimmed.

Your boyfriend smiled at whatever antics you had going on, migrating to his phone. You let out a little giggle as you watched Matt’s facial expressions change, from that of confusion, to that of happiness.

“You really sent me one hundred and fifty different cat videos?” he asked, though his tone was playful.

“They reminded me of you,” You whined, throwing a stuffed animal at him. “You’re the one who always sends people images of sleeping kittens and says ‘that’s me’.”

Matt chuckled as he sat watching every single video. He knew how important sharing was to you, especially when it had to do with the people you cared about. “Penguin pebbling” as it was called, was the act of unconventional gift giving as a sign of affection. Your boyfriend absolutely loved when you did this, because it was pure love. It wasn’t big, expensive gifts or luxury vacations. It was the smallest, most accessible thing in the world, yet you took time out of your day to do it.

“Have I ever told you I love you?” the brunette asked, sliding onto the floor beside you and kissing your cheek.

“Maybe once or twice.” You grinned.

tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @chrissfavwh3re @suyqa @mbsbaby @herxyz @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @bunny-cotton @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @sturncakez @junnniee @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @mggcult @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @not-phone-guy @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @mayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @aemrsy @billsslutt

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moronkombat · 7 months

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Bi-Han nsfw alphabet? 🫣🧊

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Bi-Han is rather tender with his lover after having sex. He is quick to check on them, making sure they are comfortable and content. A large hand will encompass a cheek and his eyes will search his lover's before he pulls you close. His arms around you like a barrier to the entire world and its evils. He will protect you from them all

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Bi-Han is proud of his face. Not because it a handsome one but becomes it is identical to his mother's. Her visage is painted on him, it all he has left of her to look at besides aging photos. As he ages he likes to think his mother would look this way too

His partner's hands. So much smaller and lighter than his own, so easily to be broken. Bi-han would never. Not in any lifetime would he harm his lover. Those hands are to be held, kisses and caressed

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Definitely prefers to finish inside his partner. It is much more intimate and personal for him to release himself within a place most warm and hidden. Bi-Han truly feels deeply connected to his partner when their natural essence mingle and flow together

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Is often plagued by "inappropriate" thoughts of his lover. There is a hunger behind his eyes that fill his head with tantalizing fantasies of the carnal variety. He will tell absolutely no one that he often thinks of his lover quite lewdly. He vents these thoughts through rigorous exercise and sparring with other Lin Kuei

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's a virgin Very inexperienced. Bi-Han found little use or time for engaging in sexualized behaviors. He is not partial to seeking out a bedwarmer or a temptation of the night. When Bi-Han loves, it is completely and truly and with the one person he holds dearest

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Very much so ever changing. The position often changes based on the opportunity that is in front of him. Though he is rather traditional and prefers missionary with his lover. It feels right when he can look into his lovers eyes, bodies pressed closely together. Bi-Han likes to be on top because he wishes to hold you close and shield you from all the horrors of the world

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Bi-Han is exceptionally serious in the bedroom. He will not incorporate humor as he finds it disrespectful to you and this private moment shared between the two of you. Bi-Han would never disgrace his lover in such a way

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Bi-Han is neat and groomed but not hairless. He makes it a point to keep himself trimmed and even as to not pester his partner by accidentally irritating them with prickly hairs. While he can grow facial hair, he almost always shaves it but tends to rush through it causing his skin to feel roughened

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Despite his rather grim and intimidating demeanor, Bi-Han longs to show his partner a perfect romance. The only problem with that is he is incredibly awkward in that subject. That will not stop him from trying and, if he's known his lover for awhile, he eventually finds a good pattern of romance. He shows romance through gestures and not words. Do not expect to hear him say those three pretty words. They are not needed when he holds you so tenderly as your bodies entangle and he whispers to you "my heart"

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Seldomly indulges in such acts but probably should. He does have "impure" thoughts of his lover very frequently and intrusively and they weigh on him. He mostly releases himself through exercise or roughly sparring with someone

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Marking- Bi-Han is rather "vanilla" on the surface but peal the skin further back and corruption lingers. While he will never leave a cut on his partner or anything that will tear the skin he does enjoy leaving those reddened circles where he kissed and sucked. He is very meticulous when placing them, always somewhere no one else can see. They are for him and you to feast upon their memories in privacy. He does not leave exposed marks as to not bring attention to you or disrespect you. Bruising tends to occur during sex due to the sheer size of pace of him. While he feels guilty bringing them about, there is something about seeing your skin so painted quite thrilling

Breeding/Pregnancy- This is one he will never admit. He'd rather choke on these words than confess to such a perversion. Yet he is so enticed when he thinks about getting his partner pregnant with his child, with his heir. He groans and his spine curls just thinking about it. Each time he cums within his lover, there is a betraying prayer that wishes for his seed to take root so that you may grow round with child. If his partner were to become pregnant, he finds them incredibly attractive. Probably more than he should

Size difference- Bi-Han is large and his lover is...so fragile and delicate. Barely can he fit himself within warm walls. It takes oh so long for him to completely sheath himself inside. His hand will lay upon your naval and there he feels himself moving, the very outline of him traced into his palm

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bi-Han will almost always prefer to take his lover in the bedroom. He does not allow anyone in his personal quarter. That is a place for him and now it is for you too. It means to be exposed and vulnerable to have another in his room with him. He finds this the perfect place to express his love to you

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Bi-Han gets in the mood by his partner's appearance. A pretty expression, a graceful step a lithe build that seems so different than his own. He longs to take away those layers of clothing and take your body into his arms

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Bi-Han will not harm his lover. He will not lay a hurtful hand on them, he just can't. Never will he bring them pain. Bi-Han will only protect you from it

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He enjoys both but expects to give you oral more than receive it. Why? Because he sees how much you like it and how loud you get for him. Louder than sound your moans can be when he between your legs and that really riles him up. However, receiving is also very much so enjoyed and he tends to be rather noisy when you go down on him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Bi-Han is a rather healthy mis between the two. He will be slow and sensual but also pick up the tempo when he starts to really get into the mood. Those are when he bruises to your hips are created as his own slam and collide into yours while teeth are bared or snagged against a lip and groans most guttural spawn in his throat

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Does not prefer them as he feels it does not allow enough time to truly experience each other fully. Will he outright refuse them? No but he does not seek them out at all

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Bi-Han is a cautious lover i will go down with this ship so taking risks are not exactly thought of. Will he experiment? Yes, as long as it brings no harm to his lover or makes him feel as though he is hurting them

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Seemingly unlimited stamina. This man is a bull made of steel and iron. He could continue all night and into the morning but he does not often do that as his lover tends to tire quicker than him

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He'd be open to the idea of them but ultimately unsure and a bit lost in terms of how to use them. He will need guidance and his partner to request their use. Otherwise, they do not even cross his mind

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A fair lover most of the time but he does succumb to those impish temptations. This mostly manifests during oral sex with his partner. He longs to hear your whines more and more and so he tends to draw out his methods when using his tongue

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Bi-Han groans and grunts frequently during sex and is not silence nor quiet. He not loud either, however. He falls somewhere in middle and begins to reach his most audible during a faster pace

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Bi-Han is prone to jealousy even if he and his partner have been in a long standing committed relationship. He simply cannot help but feel a twitch of annoyance when your attention is on another. He often glares at the one you are speaking with which doesn't go unnoticed. When he is feeling particularly jealous he will become vocal about it in bed by saying "you are mine and i am yours. this will be forever"

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Bi-Han is muscular, toned and very fit. His body has been built up and carved by combat and training. His arms are large and powerful, legs muscular and refined. Every part of his body showcases his exquisite physique. He is large in every way with his length above average and with a hefty girth to match

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is moderate. Not too high but not low. He fits comfortably in the middle. He and his lover do not engage in primal desires daily but typically do not go longer than a couple of days without it

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

His eyes do not close nor does he leave his lover in the bed. His aim to stay with them after each time he and you have sex. Bi-Han holds you to him but often says very little or nothing at all. Yet he does not sleep, not until you do. He simply enjoys laying in your comfort and love until you are ready to sleep

#mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat fanworks #mortal kombat headcanons #mk1 #mortal kombat x reader #bi han #mk1 bi han #sub zero #mortal kombat smut #bi han x you #bi han headcanon #bi han x reader #sub zero x reader #sub zero smut

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cherienymphe · 2 months

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Do you have any tips on studying the art of seduction or tapping into your sensuality as a woman? Books, movies, anything helps!

Rare topic of conversation alert but-

Forget men entirely. Tapping into your sensuality as a woman has nothing to do with men and everything to do with you and your love for yourself.

Date yourself. Court yourself. Move through life like you are in a relationship with you (because you are) and act accordingly. Treat yourself with care. Nourish your hair and skin and invest time + energy into making your mind and body feel good. Epsom salt baths, dancing, body oils, hair oils, buying yourself flowers, taking yourself on dates, meditation.

You can't be sensual if you're ignorant of and afraid of your own body. Familiarize yourself with it (stand naked in the mirror a lot, touch yourself non sexually a lot, study your own body a lot). You have to love your body and feel comfortable in your natural form. You have to feel confident and good both in and out of clothes.

That last part can intertwine with sexuality too. It's important to know what you like and what makes you feel good. It's healthy. Experimenting with self pleasure can help you learn a lot of things about yourself, some of them even non sexual.

Sensual means physically pleasing and it's related to the 5 senses, and taking the time to really indulge in those 5 senses will help you. We all know that things that are pleasing to the ear can have the power to relax us or turn us on, so listen to things that get your blood moving and make you feel warm. It could be asmr, it could be binaural beats, it could be a creator who reads stories and poems. I personally love to listen to Tom Hiddleston read poetry and short stories. He has a voice that is very audibly pleasing to me. Buy and wear scents that lift your mood, watch media or look at art that stirs up intense feelings. Indulge in touching things and things that feel good on your skin. Sleep naked, sit in the grass, walk on sand. Eat things that are very flavorful and juicy and messy lol. If you drink wine, I'd actually encourage you to research what kind of wine is best to drink with certain foods that really make flavors pop. Play music around the house, light scented candles or wax melts, give yourself massages. Just really indulge and take advantage of all of the senses that you can.

Look up sumrandomchick, zitacherry, and Anastasiamoongirl on tiktok

Movies/TV: kama sutra a tale of love, dangerous beauty (1998), The Borgias (Giulia Farnese and Lucrezia in particular), The Woman King, Moulin Rouge, Margarita With a Straw, The Handmaiden, She's Gotta Have It (2017), Belle de Jour (1967), Poor Things (I have yet to see this one but I have heard praises on its exploration of female sexuality). I personally don't want to recommend Memoirs Of A Geisha due to its wildly awful inaccuracies (so much so that the woman it's loosely based off of tried to sue the author I'm sure), however, if you take it with a grain of salt and have good discernment, there can be gems found in it.

#asks

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mxthtea · 2 months

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I Am Not Your Enemy

grim x masc reader (reader does not have a specified gender, but is stated to not identify as a woman) warnings: (reader) breakdowns, online grooming (done to the reader), reader refers to themself as a slut and a whore once each, heavily self-indulgent and based on my own experiences, hand holding and hugging, use of grim's real name, mentioned self-harm, grammar + spelling mistakes, please tell me if i forgot any word count: 3107

request rules

You feel… itchy. Very itchy.

Not an itch that made any sense. A spontaneous itch that covers your entire body. But your skin isn't dry either. It makes you want to tear into it and rip out your tendons. To scratch until you're red and bleeding onto your flooring and chair.

Maybe it has to do with the anxiety pooling into your chest. the heavy weight that lays there, making your heart pound to try and escape. The quickened breaths of your suffocating lungs.

The bright screen of your laptop glares you down. The old messages you had sent to Casper glaring even harder.

The words making out more… suggestive messages. In-depth words about how you'd touch him, how you'd feel him. What your skin contact would be like. To think that it was just about holding his hand. To think that you sent those, even though it has been a while since you sent them.

Messages that you swear you've seen before. Years prior and on a social app you shouldn't've been on. After all, your parents wanted to protect you from online predators. But, they still got to you. It's not like you were exactly protecting yourself.

Suggestive messages filled with what they'd to you. How they'd touch your skin and they'd feel. How they'd undress, how they-

"Sunshine?" a voice cuts off your thoughts.

Your head snaps to the doorway to your apartment. There stands your boyfriend, Casper, donning his usual attire. Not that you can make it out well, your face is blurry from tears, after all.

When did you start crying?

Your body tells you to run. To run from Casper and to get out of there. Telling you that he's just like them. You're just a body, you aren't a person to him. No doubt he talks about you behind your back. He views you as some slut, some whore. Somebody that he'll use then discard. Who knows who else he's done that to.

He'll fuck you- or you'll fuck him- then he'll leave you right after. He'll get what he wanted then leave. Maybe he'll take your soul while he's at it! After all, he's a grim reaper! It's insane to think he doesn't want it!

It doesn't matter if this goes against everything you know about Casper. You're right, you have to be. You've been through this already.

Something cold presses against your hot cheeks and you slap away whatever's touching you. Your world blurs for a moment, a thud then a sharp pain that shoots up from your bottom.

Casper's above you. His face is too blurry from your tears to make out. Gods he's above you, he's gonna make you-

"Sunshine, look at me," Casper calls out to you. when you look at him, he's on his knees in front of you. his hands held in the air as if telling you he won't touch you again.

Your shaking hands reach up to wipe the tears that drip from your eyes. You can barely make anything out into detailed shapes. Your boyfriend is just a blur of some colors. His red eyes still stand out among the grey and whites.

"Get away from me," you choke out, "don't touch me."

The red blurs of his eyes get bigger. You assume he had widened them, but you still make it out fully. There's a distant sound of Casper's shoes shuffling against your wooden flooring. Your eyes begin to clear up from the tears. They fall down your cheeks, but you simply wipe them. You don't want to look even more vulnerable.

You look up to Casper, staring into his red eyes. He seems worried.

A part of you thinks it's fake.

A part of you knows that this is fake.

His look of worry is just one to hide his own feelings. He's pretending he's being worried so he can get you to lower your guard. Then he'll use your body. With sweet words, he'll whisper that fills you with too much guilt to say no. You'll want to die after, then he'll leave you.

Only to come back again and repeat the damned cycle.

You want to run, but you feel cornered. He's kneeling in front of you, keeping you from running away. He's gonna hold you down. He'll-

"Sunshine," Casper's voice makes it sound like he's pleading with you, "please tell me what's wrong."

His eyes meet yours. Casper takes a step back to give you space.

Will he jump on you when you try to run?

"Don't touch me," you demand.

Casper raises his gloved hands once again, he takes another step back from you, "I won't touch you. What's wrong?"

You look at him with inquisitive eyes. Why's he acting like this? He wants to touch you, does he not? Maybe he's just pretending to care about how you feel.

You see Casper's concerned expression twist into one of surprise. He looks down at you, eyes widened by a fraction, dark eyebrows raised up.

He opens his mouth to speak, "Sunshine, why do you look like that? Did I say something wrong?"

Your gaze hardens. Why is he playing dumb? He knows what he wants. He knows that he wants you. Why?

He must be trying to put you in a false sense of security. Then it's easier for him to undress you. For him to mutter in your ear how much you want him.

"You want to touch me don't you?" you look at him, incredulously, "so do it."

"You don't want me to."

"Why do you care?"

You see that Casper visibly flinches back. His expression changes several times in a matter of seconds. From shock, to anger, to a form of despair, to worry.

"I'm not going to touch you."

"But don't you?"

"Do you want me to?"

A shiver wracks through your body. You feel your blood rush and your heart beats rapidly in your chest. You feel as if it's going to burst out any second. The question rings in your ears. He's trying to tempt you, isn't he?

"Do you want me to?"

When you say no, he'll have an ugly face. One that'll haunt you. One that asks- demands permission. Permission given that completely strips you of consenting to it. Then he'll smile. He'll say you're a good girl despite you not being one. He'll hush your protests with his lips.

It doesn't matter if you say no. You might as well just be saying yes. You just need to be convinced.

The words are a lump in your throat. Those three letters, singular syllable, refuse to come out. Just say yes goddammit it saves you the fucking trouble!

"No," your voice shakes as you speak. You feel pathetic.

"Alright," Casper nods to you, "I won't."

"Why not?"

It seems like a stupid question. But, you have to ask. Why doesn't he want to?

"You don't want me to, right? I won't touch you until you say so."

There's silence in the room. You know Casper wants to speak. He opens his mouth just to close it a few times.

"I'll be back," is all he says before leaving from your apartment window. When did he even open it?

Your legs shake as you stand. Luckily, due to your small apartment, your bed is only a stumble away. As you let yourself fall onto your mattress, your mind begins to wander… to Casper.

He didn't want to touch you. Not because he didn't desire you, it's because you didn't want him to. Something that other people would scoff at and say is the bare minimum. But, it's something you aren't used to. Well, you had barely said no to anyone's demands. Always eager to please.

Despite the pain and trauma it had caused. Those same memories and emotions still haunt you years later.

You don't know when you fell asleep. All you remember is thinking of Casper and what you had experienced. Then, you woke up. With the blue sky changing to an orange.

Casper still isn't back either. It's just you, your plant, and your pet.

You take hold of your pet, gently. Holding them in your lap and gently stroking them. It's nice, creating a small bubble of pleasant feelings in your chest. It's easy.

A few minutes seem to pass. You're still in a bit of a daze from earlier events. You must've been asleep for at least an hour.

There's a distant noise that you can't really hear. Your pet looks up, you follow their gaze. A figure crawls into your room from your window. The familiar dark jacket and white hair stand out to you.

"Casper…?" you drawl. His eyes meet yours. His expression is one of concern. Why?

"I said I'd be back, didn't I?" he gives a smile to you, "I bought some food."

He places an emphasis on saying he bought it. It makes you think that he might've stolen the food. Those hesitant thoughts are cut short as Casper places the bag down in front of you.

It's some fast food place. WcBonalds, as you recall. You had eaten there a while ago, during another one of these episodes.

Casper sits at your desk chair. He stares at your hands, waiting for you to move. You notice how poor his posture is. His slumped back against the leather back of it. You wonder if a reaper like him faces back pain like a human like you.

Removing the food he had brought, you just stare at it for a moment.

"Are you… eating it with your eyes?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't…" feel hungry is what you want to say. Though you doubt Casper will take that as an answer.

Despite not eating the entire day and having a breakdown, you didn't want to eat. The thought of it makes you feel queasy. Having the flavors invade your tongue. The texture lingering in your mouth. Choking on the food as it slides down your throat.

Thinking about eating makes you tired, not hungry.

Casper's eyes still linger on you. His eyebrows pinch together in a face of worry. At least, it could be worry. You feel like he's probably frustrated, too.

This isn't the first time he has to encourage you to eat.

"Can you at least drink a little, Sunshine?" Casper relents. He carries a sad look on his face.

You look at the drink Casper brought. A simple, standard cup of iced water from WcBonalds. Perhaps he didn't want you to choke on their famously aggressive soft drinks. It won't hurt to drink. Water is nice to drink, you're thirsty as well. It's easier to do than eat something as well.

You give a nod to Casper. His lips quirk up into a relieved smile as you take a sip of it.

"Slowly," Casper's voice is gentle as he speaks. You follow his words and take small, slow sips.

"I thought a grim reaper wouldn't know how to take care of someone," you move your lips from the straw and put it down. The food still stares up at you, waiting for you to eat it.

You sigh. Taking a fry and eating it. The expected salty taste invades your senses. It makes you feel sick, but you also realize how hungry you are.

"I'm good at taking care of you," Casper corrects you, "every other human I either fight or take their soul."

You give a nod to him, continuing to eat.

Now that Casper is with you and you aren't breaking down in front of him, you can ask him a question. The question that had been bothering you since he had left.

Why?

"Casper," you start. He looks to you, red eyes meeting yours, "why didn't you touch me?"

His expression is one of bewilderment, as if your words cut into him. He opens his mouth just to close it. You think Casper looks more like a fish than a grim reaper right now.

"You told me you didn't want me to," Casper sounds offended as he speaks.

"And you listened, why?" you eat a fry after the words fall from your lips. The salty taste lingers on your tongue.

"Why wouldn't I listen to you?"

"Because-"

Oh.

You can't come up with any response. Any reason that he'd go against your words die before they could even leave your mouth.

Casper lets out a sigh. He approaches you, sitting on your bed. His eyes still meeting yours.

"Can I hold your hand?"

The words sit in the air. You look down and stare at your hands.

Unlike a bit ago, you don't ache at the mere thought of being touched. In fact, maybe you want to be. For no other reason than you just crave a bit of contact.

So, you nod. Casper clicks his tongue. He doesn't seem satisfied with that response.

"I want your verbal consent, Sunshine. Not just a nod."

Another gap of silence. It's easier to just nod or shake your head than have to say it out loud.

"Yes," your voice shakes a bit with hesitancy. It's not that you don't want Casper to touch you- it's just hard to say you do.

"Sunshine," Casper's gloved hand brushes over your fingertips. When you don't pull your hand back or give any other sign of not wanting to be touched, Casper takes your hand in his.

His hand is cold, even through the gloves he wears. You know this. You've known this. Ever since Casper had gifted you a bouquet of roses all those weeks ago. You've continued to know it ever since that first week of "meeting" each other.

"Sunshine," Casper repeats, "look at me."

Your eyes meet up to his. Casper looks at you desperately. There's a bit of hurt in his expression. The cocky bastard of a grim reaper you know is replaced with someone filled with worry. You don't think you've ever seen him like this.

His hold on your hand is light, gentle. As if you'd break at the slightest bit of physical pressure. You don't know if that's true or not in your current mental state.

"Sunshine. I am not your enemy," his hold on your hand tightens the slightest bit, "I have never been your enemy. I will not do anything you don't want me to."

"But-"

"No," Casper's voice is firm, unbreakable. He's blunt in his statements, just as he has been before, "there is no but, if, and, or whatever else you mortals say. I am not working against you. Unless you are doing something truly stupid- which you probably will- I don't want to hurt you."

The statement flows through the open air. You can't seem to grasp onto it. The words Casper speaks are foreign to you. Reassurances that he won't use you like you have been before. You're… hesitant to accept such things being said to you.

It's not supposed to be like this.

Casper is supposed to use you, he's supposed to go against what you say, he's supposed to make you uncomfortable. But, he isn't.

In fact, he's doing the opposite.

He's helping you, he's doing what you want. He's touching you when you say he can.

Something warm drips down your cheek. You reach up and try to wipe away your tears. Emotions overflow and reveal themselves in the small space of your apartment. With only two other living beings to witness it and some food you've half forgotten about.

"Sunshine," your nickname falls from Casper's tongue. He says it so much these days. As if he's just stating the weather.

You look back up to Casper. His other hand hovers just before your face. The sheer frigid temperature he has goes against your heated body.

"May I?"

This time, you know he means that he's asking for your consent. Casper won't do anything without you saying so. If you say no, he backs off.

"Yes…" the words are sniffled out.

Casper's gloved hand wipes away your tears. The one still holding your hand squeezes it reassuringly.

Casper is different.

You can trust him.

"I love you, Sunshine," the words are whispered to you. Sweet, loving words falling from the lips of your boyfriend.

It makes you want to break down.

A weight feels as if it's been lifted off of your shoulders. Casper's reassurances and actions go against what you had expected from him just hours ago.

More tears fall from your eyes. The air is filled with your stifled sobs and sniffles. The overwhelming emotions crash down onto you in rapid succession.

You don't have to go through hell once again. There isn't a need to feel fear from him.

Casper reaches closer to you in an effort of comfort. He asks if he can hold you, comfort you. Another time where he doesn't force his presence upon you. It only makes you want to cry more.

"Y- yes… please," you sob out.

As the final syllable leaves your lips, Casper embraces you. The entirety of him is cold, a direct contrast to your still-hot temperature. Your tears fall onto his shoulder as Casper leads your head to be as close as possible. Despite it, his presence isn't overwhelming. It's comforting.

Your hands find purchase against his jacket, tugging at the fabric in an attempt to ground yourself. You hear Casper whisper words to you. In your fuddled mind it's impossible to hear what he's really saying. The syllables being all mixed together in some gibberish.

"Focus on my voice, Sunshine," is all you can clearly make out from Casper's words.

So, you try to.

It sounds like he's underwater when you try to focus on him at first. Despite that, it helps to hear him speak. Casper's voice brings you down from your overwhelming emotions. The fabric of his jacket and the coldness of his shoulder helps as well.

As the last few sniffles and sobs leave from you, you gently pull yourself back. Casper does nothing to keep you against him. His arms are loose around you as he looks into your eyes, you gaze back into his.

"I love you, Sunshine," he whispers, "I won't do anything you don't want me to."

"I know," a small smile finds it's way to your face, "I love you too, Casper."

You reach forward and hug him again, fitting yourself into Casper's embrace. You hear an exhale of amusement escape from your grim reaper, but no words do.

For now, you're content with just soaking in his presence.

#a date with death #adwd casper #adwd x reader #adwd casper x reader #adwd grim #x reader #vennys tales #finally done with this fic #augughgh

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scorpiussage · 1 year

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NSFW Alphabet - Johnathan Crane (Scarecrow)

- I’m not much of a DC fan so this is entirely based off the Nolan movies and what we see of Cillian Murphy’s Scarecrow

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Not an aftercare man at all. For real, you’d be lucky if he stayed in bed next to you after he’s done fucking you - he’s busy and got things to do and places to be.

But, I think that if you caught him at a vulnerable moment (Scarecrow giving him extra grief or him struggling with the Batman) he might indulge in some cuddling but it would be very short lived and he’d expect you to never bring it up again.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Loves someone with a brilliant mind, body doesn’t matter to him at all. He just wants someone who’s crazy matches his crazy.

He’s literally so vain though, like he will not leave the house unless he looks perfect and put together.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn’t really have much of a preference to where he cums, just that he does. Most of the time it’ll be in you but he has been known to like to finish on your face from time to time.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Scarecrow is obv his big secret, but I think that if he took the time to pursue a relationship with you, it would be because both him and Scarecrow are attracted to you. So that might be a dirty secret of his, that he likes to let the other guy take control some times so that he can get his quality time in with you too.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, he’s always been a huge dork and also very career driven so he’s never put any time into having sex. That said, he’s incredibly knowledgeable about the human body so even though he’s not very experienced, he knows all the best places to touch you.

F = Favourite Position (idk the names of any sex positions so Im just going try and describe them)

Johnathan is a massive control freak and so his favorite positions are all ones that put him in control of you. You on your knees with your face pressed into the mattress and your hands tied behind your back is a particular favorite of his.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is literally not capable of being goofy and silly. It’s just not who he is. So sex will always be incredibly intense and serious.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Not very intimate nor romantic (though he could be if he wanted to, he just doesn’t want to)

Don’t get it twisted though, he’s possessive and even though he may not show his affections like other people, you belong to him and he’ll remind you of it regularly.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t masturbate beyond getting excess energy out. He’s not got the time for that.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He’s got a huge doctor/patient kink to the point he’d convince you to get admitted to Arkham so that he could be your doctor and “give you treatments” 😉

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

His office at Arkham or whatever seedy warehouse he’s using that week, he’s not picky.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Control and fear are pretty obvious motivators for him.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything church or religion related is a big yikes to him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He will only give you head if it means a new way to dominate and control you into doing something he wants. That’s just sort of his personality.

He’s personally pretty eh about receiving. It feels good and makes him cum, but he could also get that from fucking you so it’s not a necessity.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Not slow or fast so much as brutal and intense. Getting fucked by Johnathan is absolutely world ending and also too much. You’ll only be able to handle one round at a time from him.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not one for quickies usually just because he’s very work focused and you absolutely will not tear him away from whatever new thing he’s doing. He has allotted time set aside to fuck you and he will not do it outside of that time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He loves taking risks, it’s sort of his whole thing because there’s a tie in to fear. You have to be someone who will go along with whatever he wants because if you don’t, he’ll get bored with you very fast.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Average stamina. He could probably do sexathons but he doesn’t have the time for that, his experiments take priority.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own toys personally but if you own them, he’ll for sure use them on you regularly.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Nothing would turn him on more than teasing you to the point of tears. He’s an absolute sadist about that and he’s unapologetic about it too.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not loud, actually very quiet but when Scarecrow is in the drivers seat, he does a lot of dirty talk.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He’s the kind of man who loves one and only one. So if you start a relationship with him, there’s no ending that relationship, you’re his forever.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Long and average width. Cock size doesn’t matter with a guy like this, he’ll make you cum regardless.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty low sex drive, he’s not really someone who spends a lot of time thinking about sex.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t sleep until he’s certain he’s in a safe location. So unless you do it at his place, he’s not one to fuck and then immediately fall asleep.

#batman nolanverse #scarecrow #scarecrow x reader #scarecrow imagine #johnathan crane #johnathan crane x reader #johnathan crane imagine #cillian murphy #scarecrow is THE babygirl

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rabbiitte · 7 months

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EP7: The misconception of Mew turning “evil”.

Mew didn't turn “evil”. Engaging in manipulation might pose a challenge for someone who has never practiced it before. Mew possessed the ability to manipulate from the outset, yet he often refrained from doing so, often reserving it primarily for his relationship with Top (he exercised manipulation sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously). This explains his adeptness in manipulating Nick, as he skillfully chooses his words and delivery. "Victims"? Mew is fully aware that Nick isn't innocent (what he did was pretty illegal), but Mew doesn't hesitate to tailor his words to Nick's preferences. Throughout, Mew has always been intelligent and has always used that intelligence to achieve his goals, whether academically or romantically.

Similarly, Mew had long held an internal belief in his superiority over Boston (a sentiment reciprocated by Boston), but he finally chose to voice this sentiment in EP7. He had never endorsed Boston's lifestyle and consistently passed judgment on it, allowing his friends to condemn and degrade him (an attitude Boston mirrored by condemning and denigrating Mew).

Indeed, Mew possesses the capacity to consume alcohol but he often refrained due to his low tolerance. This low tolerance translated to a fear of losing control and letting his guard down, actions Mew, who thrives on being "superior" and in control, detests.

He, as seen in EP3 at the pool party, only chose to indulge in alcohol when he knew Top would be taking care of him, given the trust he had in him. That was the first time we saw him drunk. However, maintaining control where it led Mew? Mew probably thinks the answer is "nowhere." Consequently, he opted to deactivate what seemed ineffective. Mew has grown tired of being the one in control, at least when he's with Ray. Mew has resigned himself to not being able to control and change everything.

What has shifted within Mew isn't his core identity. And, of course, from the beginning of the series he has a very clear and marked identity. He still retains his sense of superiority, manipulative tendencies and a strong need for control. He remains a romantic at heart and continues to find solace in books. The change lies in how he assesses people. Mew no longer fully trusts his own judgment and refrains from acting on it. Currently, Mew selectively emphasizes different aspects of his personality based on the situation, like his need for control (notably, around Ray, he still exhibits some other traits of the old Mew). He can turn his need for control (and self-control) on and off depending on the circumstances. With Boston, his desire for control is intensified, while it lessens when interacting with Ray.

This shift arises from Mew's realization that a) trying to change Ray (or Top) is futile, b) he trusts Ray and he longs to escape his emotional turmoil.

In essence, what we witness in Mew's current actions is a previously concealed aspect of his identity. It doesn't represent his entire being, but rather a facet that has existed within him all along, and he now consciously chooses to emphasize it. Control remains an inherent part of his personality, yet he has gained (through negative experiences) the ability to decide when to employ it (quite an important lesson, if you ask me) . Mew hasn't transformed into a malevolent figure; rather, he has allowed his questionable thoughts and inclinations to manifest in his behavior. This doesn't categorize him as a corrupt individual; instead, it portrays him as someone fundamentally good who occasionally commits regrettable actions. The same principle applies to the other characters in the series. Embracing this complexity is the essence of understanding their personas.

More about Mew and his need for control here.

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lovelybrooke · 9 months

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Who Am I (Roman Roy x reader)

This was spurred from this post. This is based off of my own experience as an Asexual person so if this doesn't relate to you, I apologize. This is pretty self-indulgent. I've decided that if I'm going to continue this, it's going to be on my Ao3 account, lov_brooke. I've uploaded this chapter there already, so if you want to read it there feel free.

"What are you doing here Roman?"

"Hey, what's with the shit attitude? Aren't you happy to see your favorite person in the entire world."

You ignore his comment in favor of leaning in closer towards your computer screen, like the spreadsheet would randomly fill itself the closer you got.

Roman shuffles closer to you, if that was even possible, he was basically on top of you all the time. He leans his elbows on the table, resting his head in his hands, watching you speedily type away on your computer.

"What are you doing Roman?" You question again, annoyed with his presence alone. You've been dealing with Roman's increasing clinginess for the past few weeks now, only getting a break when Roman's forced to deal with one of the many issues higher up in the company.

Roman groans, standing up straight, gaining the attention of your coworkers around you, not that he cares. He looks around for a while, seemingly lost in thought as you stare at him dumfounded. "Roman what is up with you? People are working!" You whisper through gritted teeth, getting a high-pitched giggle out of him.

"Oh, people are working? Really? I couldn't tell." He mocks you, waving to the people in their cubicles as they attempt to avert their eyes. He moves his gaze towards a cubicle with a free chair.

"You using this? No, thank you." He gives haft assed pleasantries to the person sitting across the free chair. He grabs it, dragging it across the floor until it reaches the spot next to you. He sits, pushing his back into the chair as he tilts his head towards you.

"Y'know you should just...become my assistant." When your eyes move towards him questionably, he looks away, embarrassed. He huffs out an irritated sound, "Don't fuckin look at me like that. I'm just saying it's better pay than your stupid little desk job." He grumbles, "And I wouldn't have to walk all the way down here every time I want to see you."

You laugh, momentarily getting him to smile, "There's an easier solution to that problem, stop seeing me during work." You turn your gaze from him back towards your computer screen, missing as his eyes widens slightly in surprise.

Sitting up straight as he rubs the back on his neck, anyone with a brain could tell he was uncomfortable, his eyes darting around like he was looking for an escape. Though, you were blind to it, consumed by the work in front of you, which for some reason, made Roman even more upset. Why weren't you paying attention to him, he's right here.

"Well then why don't we?" He mumbles loud enough for you to hear, causing your head to shake in surprise. You look over at him, shocked.

"What?" You ask, eyes furrowed in confusion. He doesn't look away this time, staring at you with a mixture of anxiety and anticipation like he was expecting your answer. When you stared back at him, waiting for an answer, his look hardens and he leans back into his chair, defeated.

"I mean like...I don't fucking know, like we hang out after work, or whatever." He studders, his voice wavering as he continues to talk. You don't know what to say, it wouldn't be terrible hanging out with him, but Roman's...Roman, y'know?

You look around nervously before scootching you chair closer to him, attempting to make as little noise as possible. As you move closer, you can see Roman's shoulders relax, and you can almost see his eyes soften as you stare at him.

"Are you asking me on a date Roman?" You whisper. Roman's demeanor goes from relaxed to defensive in an instant. Suddenly, he's leaning away from you, backing into the chair like he's trying to fuse with it. He crosses his arms over his chest like he's trying to protect himself from your judgement.

"Fuck no." He answers quickly, faltering when regret crosses your face and you lean away from him, embarrassment all over. He shuffles, attempting to get closer to you. "I mean, what it I was?" He rushes out, backtracking on his harsh words.

You shoot a glance at him like you're trying to gage his honesty. Roman hates your sheepish gaze, like you're afraid to look at him. He hates watching as you cower around him, but he doesn't say anything to cease your discomfort, like his body is stopping him from moving and speaking.

"If you were-um...asking me on a date, I-I'd like that." Your words are small, but they leave an impact on Roman. He's stunned, watching as you studder about trying to find what words to say. If he wasn't nearly shitting his pants, he would say you're cute.

Roman mouth gapes and his eyes dart around, ultimately focusing on you. "I mean if you want to..." he's nervous, so he doesn't give a definite answer, like what's happening isn't real. And when your eyes lock on him, he feels small, and suddenly he's aware of every person on the floor eyes on him, but he really only cares about you. You're the only the only one that matters in this moment.

And when you smile, he feels his heart squeeze, buts it's a nice feeling, he doesn't mind. "I'd like that." Your voice is filled with more vigor than before, which fills him with a strange feeling that he's definitely not complaining about. A smile creeps up onto his face, a giggle escaping him. You don't react, but he can see your grin widen and for a second, he basks in the momentarily happiness you provide him.

---

Roman remembers the first time he met you, probably too well than he should.

It was less of a meeting and more of him watching you whenever he had to make his way down to one of the lower floors. You weren't anything special, another low-level employee that was a part of the giant conglomerate that was his father's company.

You were nice to look at, and so he did just that. He looked.

You were so easy to watch, typing away on your computer with laser focus. You barely left your desk; he wondered if you were stuck there. He reveled in the few moments where your professional facade broke, and you were yourself. It felt wrong to look at you during these moments, like he was a kid watching something he knew he shouldn't. But fuck, when he saw you smile at something one of your boring coworkers said, he knew he was fucked.

Roman wondered if you were just as nervous about this fucking date as he was. Was it actually a date, it had to be a fucking date. He wouldn't be paying this much at some fancy ass restaurant if it wasn't a date. Roman fixes his collar for what's felt like the fiftieth time, eyes scanning the room for any signs of you. You weren't late, you wouldn't stand him up, but he couldn't help the idea of you getting second thoughts and leaving him to wallow in his own embarrassment.

His gaze travels back to the table, shifting the silverware around in an attempt to lessen his anxiety. He can't stand the whispers of the people around him, judging him. He knows that they aren't, but he wishes you were here.

"Hey." He looks up, too nervous to say anything as you sat down. You looked nice; your hair was done in a style he hasn't seen before. But that wasn't what he was focusing on. It was the glow around you, as stupid as it sounds. You just made him feel...nice.

"I'm sorry I'm late." You're speaking again, he can't take his eyes off of you. "Traffic was horrible. Had to park like fifteen minutes away just so I didn't have to pay a stupid price."

"I could've gotten someone to drive you." He mumbles, hiding his face with the menu. You smile, offering him a kind look that makes him even more nervous.

"It's no issue Rome, don't worry." Now you're calling him Rome, like you're best fucking buddies. Now he can't decide what overpriced piece of meat he wants and it's all your fault.

You shake your head as you read the fancy names of food and wine, "where are all the prices?" You lean in to ask him. The menu blocking his face slowly fall, revealing Roman with a small smirk.

"None of these fancy-pants restaurants have prices. This isn't a Denney's."

You snort, covering your mouth when you notice other people around you looking. Your look is soft, not filled with the usual distain or annoyance that is common when people look at him. It makes his stomach turn, but it's nice. Gross.

"Watcha getting?" Roman asks, munching on a breadstick. You don't answer for a while, mulling over the menu.

"I don't know, everything looks so..." You pause.

"Gaudy, overpriced, gross even?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth." He smiles, leaning back into his chair, fully comfortable. He watches you take a bite of breadsticks, eyes lighting up at the taste. Mouth full, you mumble to him.

"Are these free?" The laugh he lets out alerts the table next to you, not that he cares, your carefree behavior puts him at ease.

"This isn't Olive Garden, of course not." You swallow the food, pushing the basket away from you.

"Oh, sorry." Roman shakes his head, pushing the basket back toward you not before taking a bite of one himself.

"No, go ahead and eat. It's what we're here for." You wait a second before continuing to eat. Roman doesn't know what to do, he can't stop watching as you just, exist. He feels like if he says anything he'll ruin the moment your two are having, if it even is a moment. Maybe you two should leave, go to one of your Rinky Dink poor people restaurants just so you'll have a better time. But you seem to be having a good time now, fuck he's overthinking.

"Hey, do you want to get out of here?" Roman leans in, his voice low. You tilt your head, looking at him strangely.

"Like, to another restaurant or?" He raises a brow, letting out a huff, blowing a strand of hair away from his face. "No, I mean you wanna go back to my place and bone." Roman felt gross saying it, it felt wrong, especially when your expression fell, and you suddenly became dejected.

"Roman..." Your voice was quiet, he didn't like it. It's like he said something wrong, but fuck, usually sex made people happy, why would you be any different? Why do you look so grossed out at the prospect of having sex with him?

He looks away from you, not wanting to look at your face any longer, the comfort once there gone. "Never mind, just forget I fucking said anything." He rubs his face with his hand, all the sudden his seat is uncomfortable, and he wants to die.

"Rome, it's just...I'm not looking for that." Roman rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, no, I get it. Don't want to deal with the backlash of fucking someone so great" He laughs, but it's filled with no emotion. He doesn't see your expression, but he could feel the disappointment radiating off of you.

"No, Roman." He hears you sigh. "I mean-- I don't want to have sex with you because I don't like sex." You sounded completely serious, and when Roman finally met your gaze, he could see it all over your face. "I'm asexual Roman."

"What like a fucking amoeba?" Roman looks at you like your stupid, fixing his face when your look becomes stern. You learn closer to him, placing the menu down in front of you with a little too much force.

"No, Roman. Like I don't want to have sex because I don't like sex." You voice is clipped, finishing the statemen with annoyed huff.

Roman didn't know what to say, his heart was beating too fast for him to speak, and the sound of your voice made him want to melt into his chair and never face you again. He shook his head; he knew that if he opened his mouth, he would say something stupid that he would regret. Roman's eyes dart back from your face to his hands in his lap, slowly losing it as your face becomes colder and colder.

"Look, Roman, if that's something you want then that's totally fine." You hold up your hands in front of you, trying to emphasize your words. "But then I don't think we should be out on a date."

It's like you were breaking up with him and you guys weren't even together. It was ripping him from the inside out, his breathing was quickening, his face felt hot. You were destroying him at just the prospect of you leaving.

"No-don't fucking-let's just eat. Forget what I said." He was stumbling again, like usual. And he felt stupid. Like usual. But for a second, he saw your eyes light up with hope.

"So, you're fine, with that I mean." Your words are equally as awkward, filling him with a weird sort of ease. He doesn't say anything, just nods before going back and looking at the menu. His thoughts never leave you, even when you're obscured from his sights.

---

Your date was fine.

Roman though that was an understatement, Roman thought it was great, other than the awkward moment he didn't want to think about.

But Roman being Roman, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Whenever he thought about what happened he wanted to throw up. His mind constantly told him that he ruined everything with his pervy, fucked up brain. Even though you accepted his offer to go on another date in a few weeks, his body visibly cringes whenever his brain goes back to that night.

Another, worse part, of his pervy, fucked up brain made him wonder if you were lying. If you were so disgusted at that thought of having sex with him that you lied to get away. Though, when he tries to imagine it, he's disgusted by the thought of having sex with you to, so he's probably just stupid.

"Rome, you there?" Roman is pulled back into the present.

"Yeah, fuck don't yell in my ear." He hears you laugh on the other line. Gross.

"Sorry, you just went silent on me. You good?" Roman stares at himself though one of the many mirrors in his penthouse, he hates the way he looks. He looks tired and strung out and not like himself. He doesn't know who himself is. The closest he's felt to himself is with you.

He blinks, looking away. "Yeah, I'm good." You don't say anything, clearly not convinced. "Anyway, so I was thinking--and don't get all fucking weird, but like--how did you know...about y'know?"

You were able to put two and two together, a sigh coming though his phone speaker, "I just knew Rome. I had sex, I didn't like it and I knew that I was never going to like it." You're answer just filled him with more confusion.

"So that's it, you had sex once and you just went "welp, fuck that shit.""

"Well, there was other things, but it's different for everyone."

Roman is pacing, and he swears you can hear his nervous breathing though the phone. "Okay, but like, what other things?"

"I don't know Rome, when I was young, I hated talking about sex, hated when people would ask when I was losing my virginity like there was a fucking prize for doing so. Whenever I imagined doing it, I wanted to die."

Roman doesn't hate talking about sex, it's basically all he talks about, so he's good on that part. But remembering when he tried having sex with Grace or Tabitha, he felt his insides attempting to escape.

"Why are you asking so many questions Rome?" He raised a brow, shaking his head defensively, nearly dropping his phone.

"None of your business, fuck off." He took a breath, becoming quiet, "Fuck, sorry, anyway I have work, talk to you later, bye-bye." He hung up before you can say anything, rushing out the words so quickly in an attempt to lessen his embarrassment.

"Stupid fucking questions, stupid fucking feelings, fuck off." Roman didn't know who he was talking too, most likely his brain which was running at a mile a minute. He wasn't--he doesn't know what he is. He likes sex, it's cool, just as long the person he's having sex with can't see him, or touch him, or tries to do anything remotely intimate with him.

He sits down, puts his head into his hands, and tries to get as small as possible. Hinding from the world. Everything is going great with you, too great, like the world was preparing him before a cosmic fuck over. Why'd you have and make things so complicated, why couldn't he just be happy.

---

Roman feels like a fucking twelve-year-old, looking up an article on asexuality. It wanted to know more, for you, y'know. Definitely nothing else.

You've never felt sexual attraction to someone, regardless their gender.

Well, that's fucking stupid, he was attracted to a number of people, Grace, Tabitha. But to say that he was sexually attracted to them sexually would be a lie. Both of them tried multiple times to have sex with him and it's never felt more wrong. He's ruined every relationship because of his inability to stick his dick in them. Well, whatever, it doesn't fucking matter, that's not something you want.

You don't feel like you require sexual intimacy in a relationship. You prefer hand holding, hugging, cuddling.

Now this was just fucking stupid, he clothes his laptop with a heavy sigh, staring up at his ceiling. It was dark, but he couldn't sleep. He was too busy thinking about you and your stupid fucking words. Why couldn't it be as easy for him. Why couldn't he just know.

Roman remembers when you took his hand absentmindedly during your second date today. He felt his body freeze up and his skin nearly fall off when you pulled him near yet another cheap food stand. After a while, he barely noticed in anymore, but your presence overwhelmed him, in a good way. He didn't want to let go, and when you hugged him before entering your dingy apartment, he swears he's never felt something so nice before in his life.

Instinctively, Roman rolls over onto his side, wrapping himself up in a secure hold. It doesn't feel the same, but it'll do.

#succession x reader #succession fanfic #succession #roman roy #roman roy x reader #succession hbo #roman roy x you #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader

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the-s1lly-corner · 9 months

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Starlight, Starshine; an impenetrable disguise

its finally happening! i came up with a name for this little fanfic/one shot series/whatever this is going to be! obligatory title is ripped from a steam powered giraffe song (go listen to starlight starshine, its literally sun+moon x reader core im begging you) anyways! Starlight, Starshine is going to be a collection of self indulgent writings between our favorite animatronic and reader! from multiple different aus, though it will mostly center around 2! one au thats "everything is fine nothing bad happens please i just want them ALL to be happy" and the other is a silly dumb idea of "what if reader who used to work at the pizzaplex takes eclipse home and repairs them and ect ect happens"! todays little fic is based off of that! im so sorry about the long authors note, i really need to make it a habit to shorten these but yk obligatory admin is not used to writing fics and theyre still trying to find their style in terms of writing so ! most of these one shots also arent going to be in order, due to the nature of this being a collection of writings for at least 2 aus so for the most part theres no need to read them all to understand a greater story!

Summary: Months after the reader brings Eclipse to their home and repairs them, sun and moon must get accustomed to their new environment. however sun has some plans...

Extra notes: this one is primarily sun centered, reader has a dog, author is attempting at comedy, not proof read we die like men so expect a few grammar mistakes and spelling errors, a lot of this one shot also contains more context and exposition (???) to the "Taken Home" au referenced above, author is not confident in their writing skills and hasnt written a full fledged fic in a year or two, author also isnt used to writing proper dialogue so take that as you will, reader is GN/typically wont be given pronouns due to authors general writing style/POV, he/they pronouns for sun and moon they /them for eclipse, really this is just an experimental piece with a vague idea i had last night, nothing too special more so an exercise to get me back into writing, author is still trying to figure out how to write personalities so these are very likely to be OOC

The first word that came to your mind when describing Sun was "odd". He looked odd, he acted odd, he had odd rituals that he carried out in your home. However it wasn't a bad kind of odd.

It'd been a few months since you took the former daycare attendant to your home, and repaired them. You had already grown close to the pair long before the closure of the pizzaplex, being an extra set of hands in the daycare. You didnt even know they were still active within the building when you decided to explore the remains; already taken on the form of Eclipse, who at the time of your discovery was trying in vain to clean the wreckage. Of course repairing them wasn't easy given you had limited experience in... basically rebuilding an animatronic; but against all odds you made it work! You let them take the guest bedroom, not that either of them used it; they would much rather spend their time hovering around you.

It took a lot of getting used to, for everyone involved, but you were all adjusting quite nicely!

Mostly...

You see, Sun didnt like being cooped up.. your home being considerably smaller than the daycare he was so used to. Leading to todays horrible plan.

"Sunflower," You said through lightly clenched teeth as you watched the sun themed animatronic tug on an oversized hat. He really couldn't be doing this... this wasnt going to work, no one is this dumb to fall for this plan!

The plan in question? Well, Sun thinks it would be a good idea to wander about outside in a "disguise" of sorts; said disguise consisting of the aforementioned hat, sunglasses, a face mask, and a entirely new outfit. Obviously, it looked at convincing as it sounded.

Sun hummed and spun on his feel to look at you, already putting your dog on a leash. "Yeeees starshine?" He asked as he scratched your dog between the ears. "This isnt a good idea," You mumbled as you watched him make his way to the door. "Nonsense! There's hardly anyone out, it'll only be a quick walk around the park!" Sun cheered.

The second word that comes to your mind when you think to describe Sun, is "stubborn", as when he made his mind up on something you can almost guarantee that he would follow through with the plan. So now, you were following behind him, keeping your eyes peeled for anyone who could see him. If he weren't so tall, or if he could tuck his rays in, or didn't emit a mechanical creak with every step he made then perhaps, the plan may have just worked... perhaps.. maybe..

No, it wouldn't, you can see his metal neck from where you were standing.

"Remember, only one lap," You reminded him as you succumbed to his will, much to his delight as his pace picked up just ever so slightly.

To his credit, he was right about not many people being out and about, mostly in part due to the fact it was still early in the morning. Just light enough to keep Sun in control, but just early enough for most to still be sleeping or still getting ready for work. However, the park wasn't empty, mostly it was early morning joggers; who thankfully didn't pay much mind to the two of you outside of giving a half wave as they passed.

There were even a few parents around with their small children walking with them; be it they were walking them to school or simply taking them to take in the early morning air... Sun's body seemed to perk up at the sight of the children, loudly greeting them with a good morning; leaving both them and the parents slightly bewildered at his high energy.

There were others, who had decided to also take their dog out for an early walk. The people once again weren't an issue, as they seemed to miraculously fall for Sun's disguise from a distance.

Their dogs weren't fooled, though. Multiple dogs began to bark and growl as they passed by. "Oh I'm so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into him!" was said a few times throughout the walk. Again, the owners somehow didnt seem to notice the fact Sun was an animatronic, mostly due to having to restrain their dog from lunging forward at him.

The closest call, however, came from Sun excitedly taking up an offer for someone to pet their dog. For you see, Sun didnt think far enough ahead to cover his hands, thus leaving his hands in clear sight. Add in the fact that the dog bit Sun as he leaned forward to pet them.

Of course, the man noticed, and before he could say a word or question, you blurted out that it was a prosthetic hand. Though, you're not sure that the man bought it, as he was now craning his neck up to look up at Sun's round, flat face.

He slinked off. Whether it be he didn't have the energy to deal with it, or he simply just didnt care, or somehow believed you, he left.

Thankfully, that last interaction happened as you and Sun were beginning to loop back to where you started. Before Sun could begin to beg for a second round around the park, you started to walk him home; hand in hand.

"Oh that was so so fun! Starshine we gotta do this more often, everyone was so nice, " Sun chirped as you approached your front door. In his excitement he had begun to skip in long strides, forcing you to speed up your walk to a light jog.

"Yeah, again... maybe we can go earlier in the morning? You know we cant risk anything, I mean, if I get caught with you I could probably get sent to," You trailed off as Sun suddenly shoved something into your hands.

A handful of flowers that he had pulled up from the ground, he must have grabbed them while on the walk. How did you not notice? Were you that nervous of being found out by others?

A third word to describe Sun would be sweet. Even through his oddity and stubbornness, he still thought of you. Always so considerate.

Now that you think about it, you realize this may be the first time Sun has touched a real living flower.

You frowned, slightly. It made sense, he wasnt permitted to step foot outside of the pizzaplex, and its not like many people were giving him bouquets of fresh flowers. Usually if they did it'd be the obviously fake plastic ones. Sure, sometimes the kids would give him paper flowers.

"Can we go again tomorrow?" Sun asked as he watched you fumble around with the cluster of flowers... some were weeds, but.. its the thought that counts.

"Of course, Sunflower," You said before you could let yourself think logically.

Well, there was no taking it back, now. How could you, when Sun quickly stamped his heels in excitement as he dashed inside your home.

Perhaps you'll pick some flowers for him tomorrow, too.

yeah idk about this one yall LMAO, i genuinely didnt know where i was going with this one nor did i know how to end it, if that wasnt obvious SOBS im so not used to writing actual stories, im so used to short scenarios and headcannons... gotta fix that anyways i still have a few more ideas i want to write, but! thats it for the first one shot for Starlight, Starshine !

#fnaf sun #fnaf sun x reader #sunrise x reader #sunrise x you #sundrop x reader #sundrop x you #fnaf sb x reader #fnaf security breach #fnaf security breach x reader #fnaf daycare attendant #daycare attendant x reader #fluff #author isnt used to writing #help

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blindmagdalena · 1 year

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Okay, this is a little self indulgent, but I honestly wonder how Homelander would be with a s/o or someone he was attached to or attracted to having BPD (borderline personality disorder). They often need mass amounts of attention, gratification, and are obsessive and want to be obsessed with. They also have severe mood swings (from severe depression to completely manic or furious to the point of screaming and throwing a fit) all within an hour or hours or a day. Often people with BPD are unpredictable, manipulative, but they can be immensely loyal and reliable and kind at the same time. They're walking, talking contradictions (especially based on the core personality of the person who has the disorder), IDK I haven't seen any mental illness often addressed in reader x character fics and since I'm hopelessly obsessed with Homelander, I've just been thinking about it. I get if it's not worth talking about or awkward, but I just thought I'd throw it out there

self indulgence is the name of the game! everyone deserves to be indulged. of course your experience is worth talking about!

for me personally, it's absolutely not a matter of mental illness being awkward. only that i would never want to misrepresent or be ignorant/offensive towards an experience that i haven't lived. i would never want to hurt someone who lives that experience. that said, you have every right to share your feelings and help yourself be represented in communities you're a part of. i would LOVE to read any headcanons/fic you wrote using your experiences!

now, based on what you've said, i think Homelander would have a VERY passionate relationship with someone with these traits. Homelander is drawn to intense people, while very much being one himself. He could both feed off of and into that obsession due to his own profound need of it. the highs and the lows would both be really extreme. when the focus is love, they're deep in love. gifts, physical affection, constant words of praise and adoration. cannot get ENOUGH of each other. conversely, the fights would be similarly extreme. Homelander would have to either show immense restraint, or (more likely) remove himself from the situation entirely. probably taking out a wall or the ceiling in the process.

It's not difficult for people Homelander cares about to hurt his feelings. he's extremely rejection sensitive, but he CAN come back from that with enough praise and validation, which he will always crave. if he found someone who was capable of matching his energy in that regard, I think it would become a situation where they're constantly orbiting each other, parting and coming back because they just can't help it. they're drawn to one another to a destructive degree.

#i hope this was okay lovely!#i tried to stick to the language in the ask and i want to be respectful #you are loved and your lived experience is just as valid as any other #don't ever feel like you can't or shouldn't talk about it!#fiction should be an escape for EVERYONE #homelander x reader #homelander x you #darling anon #ask and you shall receive #homelander headcanons

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midnightcinderella · 2 years

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Words Don’t Come Easy

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x gn!reader Word count: 1k Summary: A very self indulgent fic I wrote about what I would want Leona to do for me when the world is entirely gray. Kind of a hurt/comfort I guess? The way I portray the reader here is based off of my own feelings and experiences. Please be mindful of this if you have any criticisms Notes: depiction of a depressive episode, use of “you” pronouns, not proofread

You pressed the power button on your phone, putting it to sleep before letting your arm fall limp onto your mattress. You heaved a deep sigh and closed your eyes. Immediately you felt the muscles around them relax, finally able to rest after staying up all night again.

Another day, another excuse to Leona about why you couldn’t come see him. You’d told him you had a ton of homework to do. That wasn’t technically a lie, you thought as you eyed the pile of papers and worksheets on your desk. Though you had no intention of actually doing it. Not today anyway.

Day by day the pile had been growing, delivered by Grim when he came back from going about his day. You closed your eyes again, the sight of the pile filling you with guilt. Guilt for Grim for having to get it for you. Guilt for the professors, who you knew you were disappointing by not doing the work and letting it pile up. Guilt for Leona, who you once again turned down using the work as an excuse. Not even an original one either. You recalled using it two-- no, three?-- days ago. You couldn’t remember.

You shifted in your bed, wearing the same pajamas you have been for the past couple days. You bet your clothes and body were pretty gross right now. Not to mention your hair, which was probably rubbing oils all over your pillowcase. You simply rolled onto your side and snuggled deeper into your blanket.

You needed to shower, you knew. But you couldn’t bring yourself to leave your bed. Couldn’t bring yourself to change into clean clothes, to wash your bedding, to function. You hardly wanted to look at yourself right now, let alone have Leona see you.

It was hard. Everything was hard. You needed time to stop so that you could get your bearings. But you knew it wouldn’t. Time stopped for no one and never would, much like the incessant knocking on the front door. All you could do was wait it out. Whoever it was would think no one was home and leave. It was probably Ruggie anyway, sent by Leona to deliver something or other.

Knock knock knock. Why wouldn’t it stop? Just go away already, you thought. Can’t you see no one’s home? Go look for me in the science rooms or something.

As if on cue, the knocking did stop. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and prepared to sleep until your troubles left you alone. Then you heard shuffling and the light thud of unhurried footsteps downstairs.

The footsteps came up the stairs and stopped just for a second outside your door. Before you could even think to move, that this person might have wanted to do you harm, the door opened some to reveal the second prince of Sunset Savanna himself.

“Hey,” he greeted you simply, same half-lidded eyes and uncurved lips. You didn’t say anything in response and just stared, wondering why he’d come to see you. It seemed he wasn’t in the mood to give anything away just yet as he left his shoes by the doorway and approached the bed.

“Sit up,” he said. You grunted, letting him know you heard him, but made no move to do as he asked. He sighed and slipped his arms underneath you to prop you up, muttering a “C’mon, bein’ a lump is my thing.” He gently let you back down, this time leaning against his chest as he sat behind you, legs stretched out on either side of you.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said softly.

“Sorry.” You couldn’t think of anything else to say.

When he didn’t say anything else, you decided to just let out what you’ve been thinking for so long. “I’m a mess. I can’t make myself do anything. Everything’s all gross and I can’t make myself get up to clean.” And after a thought crossed your mind, you let out a humorless chuckle. “You probably already knew that, though. Bet you could smell me from the doorway.”

You closed your eyes at the rumble in his chest as he let out a laugh. “Yeah,” was all he said, pulling you tighter against him.

Neither you nor him were ones for mushy gushy heart-to-hearts, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Actions spoke louder than words, after all. The way he pulled you closer despite how his keen nose was probably telling him not to was better than hearing an “I’m here for you.” The way he took the full weight of your body on top of his was better than hearing an “I’ll make it better.” And the way he came to you instead of sending a note or flowers or gifts was better than hearing an “I love you.”

“Take a catnap,” he told you, “and we’ll get you cleaned off afterward.” The prospect of having someone help you bathe kind of made you feel like a child. But you knew Leona didn’t mean it like that.

“Ooh, you gonna join me?” you asked. His fingers lightly dug into the side of your waist and you squirmed at the ticklish sensation.

“You really comin’ onto me smelling like that?”

“Hey,” you pouted. Leona chuckled as he slid you both lower onto the bed.

“Sleep.”

You shut your eyes and took a deep breath to release the tension from your body. This encounter wasn’t a huge affair of heartfelt comforts and promises of tomorrow, but it didn’t have to be. You’d bet that if it were, you wouldn’t feel half as loved as you did now anyway.

“Leo.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m kinda glad I stepped on your tail that one time.”

He chuckled softly, his breath brushing over your face as he nosed at your cheek. His face slid lower until it was buried in the crook of your neck and he took a deep sniff. You were too tired at this point to ask him what he was doing when you hadn’t showered in days.

It must have been unpleasant. And he could honestly say it was. But beneath the dirt and oil and sweat of your unwashed skin was the scent he was looking for. The one he always wanted around. The scent of you. It was you he was looking for and it was you that he found, even if on the verge of being crushed under the burdens of your own mind and body.

“I’m kinda glad too.”

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #leona #leona kingscholar angst to fluff #leona kingscholar fluff #gender neutral reader #missy writes

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heliopauseentertainments · 1 year

Note

If you’re taking requests plz write a short fic in the style of ‘My Immortal’, but robots. Please include their oddly specific slutty goffic paint jobs. Plz make Rodimus Cron the main character K THXXX

I can't believe you made me go look at the text of My Immortal.

Only notes are: swearing and lightly implied MegaRod. Only the first bit is reminiscent of the original text. The rest is below the cut. It is entirely SFW.

---

Hi my name is Rodimus Cron and I have long black and purple armor (that’s how I got my name) with evil flames and purple decals that cover my entire chest and bromine red optics like limpid spinel and a lot of people tell me I look like Skywarp (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Solus Prime but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a sparkeater but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white facial plating. I’m also a space wizard, and I captain an awesome spaceship called the Lost Light in space where I’ve been here for years (I’m 4.2 million). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Bot Topic and I buy all my paints from there. For example today was I wearing a black matte base coat with matching trim around it and a shiny clear coat on my hips, purple joint accents, and black leg armor. I was wearing a black flame decal on my chest, white primer on my face, black optic trim with red undereye paint. I was walking around the ship. The ship is in space so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Rodimus!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Megatron!

That was it.

After several pages of faux edgy stylistic choices, unusual plot decisions, and uncomfortable semi-graphic depictions of interfacing, Minimus had seen more than enough.

He turned the datapad off and went off to locate the author. Rodimus needed to learn to not leave these sorts of personal writing out where everyone and Primus could see it. He was lucky that Minimus found it first.

What had that mech been thinking? Leaving it in the captain’s chair where it would almost certainly be seen? That was just asking for trouble.

"Rodimus, what is this?"

Minimus held the datapad up for the captain's inspection, doing his damned best to keep the expression on his face neutral as possible.

Creative writing was an important avenue of self-expression, of course; Minimus knew that from personal experience. He was in no position to judge Rodimus, after all. It was all part of practicing a skill and there was no shame in that.

Furthermore, indulging in fantasy from time to time was an allegedly healthy behavior for the processor. That was what his research had indicated anyway.

However, from the contents that Minimus had inadvertently borne witness to, he could only wonder, perhaps, if there were other factors at play. He had never seen anyone describe Megatron that way, with that much color and awkward eroticism. Conversations might need to be had.

Rodimus’s optics went wide when he recognized the datapad before he snatched out right out of Minimus’s outstretched hand.

“Thanks, Mims,” he said, not bothering to answer the question actually asked of him. “I must have misplaced that.”

His vocalizer sounded like it has been kicked into double-speed and pitched up.

Embarrassment. An expected reaction.

Rodimus, however, turned on his heel to march off in the other direction.

“Anyway, I need to go jump out of the airlock now. See you around, buddy.”

Minimus hurried after him.

“Isn’t that rather excessive?”

“It sure is, my guy!”

Rather than stopping, Rodimus rounded a blind corner. The heavy sound of armor colliding and Rodimus’s voice going “oof!” announcing that he had impacted a crew member in his haste.

“Oh, hey, Megs, I didn’t see you there—“

#admin post #fic #ask #tangentially displaced #maccadam #rodimus #mtmte #idw1

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narlowemcfarlowe · 5 months

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"Wow, nice place. I really like your tastes in decor... Who's this?"

"That's Bunicuta, she's a famous name down here. She was an eccentric yet brilliant matriarch... the proud mother of 200 children from five swarms, can you believe it?"

"Wait, what? Is that even possible? From what little I know that had to have been awfully painful, an irken mother could rarely survive that many birthings, let alone even one!"

"You're partially true. When irkens reach mating age they're already relatively old and worn out. Due to this, along with nutrient deficiencies, stress, and overall low qualities-of-life that were common in earlier eras, the reproductive process was often painful and had a high death toll on both fathers and mothers. From an evolutionary perspective, many scientists have suggested the large number of offspring served as compensation for the lives lost. Granted, we have made great strides in medical advancements over tens of thousands of years thanks to the late Omanje, so deaths for smeets and mothers alike are rare, but no Irken was ever as hardy as her."

"She's awfully tall, how was she even capable of all of that, aren't taller irkens generally infertile? The only tallest I've been told to take on such a feat was Dava, but even then she only had three swarms before passing from exhaustion."

"Yes, but there's always exceptions in nature. Although she was a little over five feet she was a robust woman. We believe this could have been due to her pak, she came to us as a smeet, she must have been a runaway from your regime's smeeteries. Since she had spent her entire life down here her pak couldn't have been properly updated. However, she was an brilliant mechanic who constantly pushed the bounds while experimenting on herself. She managed to find a way for it to give her pain-killing medications whenever she was in great pain, she was usually high as a kite whenever she was ready to give birth. But hey, it worked! She managed to live a long and fruitful life, passing away in her sleep soon after her final swarm reached adulthood. Although lady Dava's still in her own league, many of us appreciate Bunicuta for her toughness and resilience. I'm actually hosting a festival in honor of her family's lineage pretty soon. I always try to gather up her children and grandchildren, but everyone's welcome to join in. I think we can all take a sense of awe on how she pushed the limits of what's possible"

"That's sounds amazing, but who's this Omanje you reference earlier?"

"That's a long story my friend"

From an Invader Zim au based off of @messinwitheddie's personal au, I got back in the mood to make more posts after seeing her recent post. This is just my self-indulgent nonsense, I wanted to make a "what if" scenario of something seemingly miraculous happening against all odds.

Anyways, I'm two exams down with two more to go, I'll have the rest of December off after next Monday, yay!!!

#invader zim #au of an au #rough sketch #oc #dialogue snippet #tajak #theia #I just used google translate to name her lol #doodle

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dross-the-fish · 10 months

Note

It is not my intention to bother you, but consider actually reading fics instead of listening to rumors. If you don't like it, fair enough, but don't cut yourself off from possible opportunities based on hearsay.

I said I wasn't going to respond to these but I feel like I need to make something abundantly clear.

My decision to give a fic or comic a miss is not based on rumors or any conversations I've had with other users. It is entirely my own and while I may occasionally take other people's experiences into consideration the final say on what I read is always going to be mine. Presuming this is about LXGF (because that's what the last couple have been about and I have no idea what else this could be for), and if it's not I apologize, but presuming it is, I did take a glance at it. I saw right in the pinned post that it's based on "spite and self-indulgence" and how much it dislikes Alan Moore (and that's fair, people can have opinions) but that's not going to entice me to give it a shot.

And just as a matter of personal taste. The pinned post also describes Johnathan Harker almost like he's an anime character and I find that off putting.

Finally, because it's just such a weird statement for an anon to make: What "opportunities"? No one has extended any opportunities or do you consider reading fancomics an opportunity in of itself?

I hope all of this is justification enough for you and proof enough that other users don't have anything to do with this.

#I was just going to quietly not read the comic and keep working on my own project #but I feel like I'm in a position of having to justify why I'm not interested

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libertys-lovers · 11 months

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*sharp inhale*

HAPPY BIIIRRRTTTHHHHDDDAAAYYY!!!!

Another year has passed for these six goobers! Another year of being silly, another year of being goofy, and another year of being jobless little NEETS! 🥰 (Even though they’re technically not jobless? They work on their own show, don’t they? Anyways-).

I know I’ve talked about it before, but these 6 have had such a huge influence on my life, it’s almost embarrassing. Their show is easily the most consistent fixation I’ve ever had, and their lives are a nightmare-scenario that I am so damn happy I get to indulge in. In self-ship lore, I’m proud to call them my friends. In real life though, damnit, I’m just glad I heard of them at all. Perhaps I shouldn’t get too personal, but every single brother’s had some sort of influence on me.

…

And, of course, that includes the catalyst brother for all of this.

As you can imagine, Kara is especially important to me. He’s somehow a culmination of what I am and what I want to be. We’re both really dramatic & artistic in a way, and we both act despite how others perceive us; I just really need his confidence! And, of course, he’s important to me purely based off the fact I wanna smooch him silly. But… there’s another part of it too:

Kara, to me, represents two of the most influential aspects of my life; self-shipping and Oso-San. He may not be my first F/O, technically; Ichimatsu was my first official F/O, and Dororo may as well have been an unofficial F/O since I was a kid. But, Kara is the earliest on the list, he somehow came back on the list after being removed during a rough-ass time, and he has caused the most brainrot without a damn doubt. In a way, he kinda summarizes the entire self-ship experience for me. And, ya know, the Oso-San representation is self explanatory. I have other “most influential” franchises, like Homestuck or FNAF, but Oso-San is the most persistent hyperfixation I have. It got me through high-school & through the pandemic, and it’s by far the series I revisit most.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently, and I realized that Kara even represents my closest friendships (well, 2 of them anyway!). The two fixations he represents are closely tied to my friends; I wouldn’t be hitched to him if it wasn’t for one friend, and I wouldn’t even know about him if it weren’t for the other. I still remember watching clips of the show with @vhshipping , which actually caused dreams that literally gaslit me into watching the show NWKEKD; we ended up binging a bit of the show together, which I think solidified its place as a fixation in me lol. And I remember @self-shipping-payaso asking about the lil men I was posting about on my story, leading to them helping me realize that they could be F/Os! It’s crazy that a single character can bring back so many wonderful memories with such wonderful people. I hope those two realize how damn important they are to me, outside of their wingmaning as well! They better! I’m sending this to them so they should! You! You two! I fucking love you! 👋🥹

Needless to say, this has greatly increased his value as a character for me.

But… the question might pop up of “why are you talking about all of this in a birthday post?”, and the short answer is that “this is my blog and I’ll do whatever I want!”. But, if it wouldn’t kill me to be serious for five minutes, well, I guess it’s to showcase why I bother to make birthday posts about the bros in the first place. I usually don’t make big deals about fictional character birthdays, but these guys have had such an influence on me that I almost feel obligated to do it for them NAKDMDKFK. Maybe this is all my way of trying to justify why I’m so attached to them, idk.

Truth be told, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly explain everything they mean to me, but this was certainly a valiant effort!

So uh… TL:DR… Happy Birthday to the Matsunos~!

#this is a REEEAAALLLLYYY long post so-#Heads up for that BWJDKFKF #self ship #self shipper #self shipping #romantic f/o #🕶️💥dramatics💥🕶️#platonic f/o #👒💥Pop Art💥👒#⚾️💥America’s Sport💥⚾️#familial f/o #🌳🌲🌳💥Riding Hood and the Forest of Wolves💥🌳🌲🌳#rival f/o #🏇💥write those numbers down!💥🏇

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