#this applies to similar species also
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I'm incredibly skeptical of people/things that tell you that they/you can tell if you're a fairy or changeling by appearance, usually citing things like fair skin and light eyes.
A lot of fairies in media are depicted as overwhelmingly white, overwhelmingly thin, overwhelmingly female/fem, and that absolutely plays a role in how we as a society, and we as a community, view what being fae "looks" like.
Don't let anyone tell you you have to be white/blond-haired/blue-eyed/thin/female/feminine to be a fairy. Fairies of color exist. Fairies of different body types exist. Fairies who aren't women or feminine exist. There is no one way to look fae.
#this applies to similar species also#alterhuman#nonhuman#otherkin#faekin#fairykin#alterhuman community#changeling#changelingkin#nonhuman community#otherkin community#elfkin#<- still applies I think#transspecies
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A reef that has been degraded—whether by coral bleaching or disease—can’t support the same diversity of species and has a much quieter, less rich soundscape.
But new research from Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution shows that sound could potentially be a vital tool in the effort to restore coral reefs.
A healthy coral reef is noisy, full of the croaks, purrs, and grunts of various fishes and the crackling of snapping shrimp. Scientists believe that coral larvae use this symphony of sounds to help them determine where they should live and grow.
So, replaying healthy reef sounds can encourage new life in damaged or degraded reefs.
In a paper published last week in Royal Society Open Science, the Woods Hole researchers showed that broadcasting the soundscape of a healthy reef caused coral larvae to settle at significantly higher rates—up to seven times more often.
“What we’re showing is that you can actively induce coral settlement by playing sounds,” said Nadège Aoki, a doctoral candidate at WHOI and first author on the paper.
“You can go to a reef that is degraded in some way and add in the sounds of biological activity from a healthy reef, potentially helping this really important step in the coral life cycle.”
Corals are immobile as adults, so the larval stage is their only opportunity to select a good habitat. They swim or drift with the currents, seeking the right conditions to settle out of the water column and affix themselves to the seabed. Previous research has shown that chemical and light cues can influence that decision, but Aoki and her colleagues demonstrate that the soundscape also plays a major role in where corals settle.
The researchers ran the same experiment twice in the U.S. Virgin Islands in 2022. They collected larvae from Porites astreoides, a hardy species commonly known as mustard hill coral thanks to its lumpy shape and yellow color and distributed them in cups at three reefs along the southern coast of St. John. One of those reefs, Tektite, is relatively healthy. The other two, Cocoloba and Salt Pond, are more degraded with sparse coral cover and fewer fish.
At Salt Pond, Aoki and her colleagues installed an underwater speaker system and placed cups of larvae at distances of one, five, 10, and 30 meters from the speakers. They broadcast healthy reef sounds – recorded at Tektite in 2013 – for three nights. They set up similar installations at the other two reefs but didn’t play any sounds.
When they collected the cups, the researchers found that significantly more coral larvae had settled in the cups at Salt Pond than the other two reefs. On average, coral larvae settled at rates 1.7 times (and up to 7x) higher with the enriched sound environment.
The highest settlement rates were at five meters from the speakers, but even the cups placed 30 meters away had more larvae settling to the bottom than at Cocoloba and Tektite.
“The fact that settlement is consistently decreasing with distance from the speaker, when all else is kept constant, is particularly important because it shows that these changes are due to the added sound and not other factors,” said Aran Mooney, a marine biologist at WHOI and lead author on the paper.
“This gives us a new tool in the toolbox for potentially rebuilding a reef.”
Adding the audio is a process that would be relatively simple to implement, too.
“Replicating an acoustic environment is actually quite easy compared to replicating the reef chemical and microbial cues which also play a role in where corals choose to settle,” said Amy Apprill, a microbial ecologist at WHOI and a co-author on the paper.
“It appears to be one of the most scalable tools that can be applied to rebuild reefs, so we’re really excited about that potential.”"
-via Good News Network, March 17, 2024
#coral#coral reef#marine life#marine biology#conservation#ecology#environment#environmental news#endangered species#coral bleaching#virgin islands#science and technology#climate action#climate change#climate hope#soundscapes#sound therapy#good news#hope
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talking to cis people as a medical student is so exhausting they speak about men and women as if they were different species. meanwhile our teachers are like yeah we say men and women but we mean the sexual phenotypes so your mileage might vary also trans and intersex people exist so these guidelines dont always apply. you would not believe how similar these phenotypes are. the most variation you'll find in humans depends on the person and not their sex.
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It's big, it's strong, its scaly, it's this week's Wet Beast Wednesday topic! An arapaima, also known as a pirarucu or paiche, is any of four species of fish in the genus Arapaima in the order of bony-tongued fish. There is som ongoing debate about the classification of the species, so to keep thing simple, I'm going to use the most common species names of Arapaima gigas (the type species and most well known, and the one with the most confusion about its classification), Arapaima agassizii, Arapaima leptosoma, and Arapaima mapae. Because A. gigas is the most well-studied of the species, unless I say otherwise you can assume everything I say in this post applies to it.
(image: an arapaima)
Arapaimas are bony fish that retain several primitive traits, causing them to sometimes be identified as "living fossils". They are most notable for their size, with A. gigas being a contender for the largest freshwater fish in the world. The maximum recorded size for one was 3.7 meters (10 ft) and 200 kg (400 lbs), but most get to around 2 meters (6.6 ft) long and 200 kg (440 lbs). That average length is decreasing as overfishing of the largest individuals is resulting in a selective pressure for smaller sizes. In addition to their size, they are extremely strong and can move fast if needed. Arapaima are fully capable of leaping out of the water if disturbed or they feel their current pond in unsuitable. Because of their strength, specimens in captivity must be handled with care as they can easy break bones if they slap someone. They live in rivers and lakes in South America, where they are often the top predators.
(image: several anglers with an arapaima)
Arapaimas are obligate air-breathers and will drown if they can't get to the surface to breathe. This is accomplished with a specialized swim bladder. The swim bladder is filled with highly vascularized tissue, letting it act like a lung. This pseudo-lung opens into the mouth using a modified gill arch known as the labyrinth organ. Arapaima gills are too small to sustain them, but they can supplement their oxygen intake with the gills. Juveniles are born exclusively using their gills and transition into air-breathers shortly after hatching. Arapaimas can survive up to a full day out of the water. They typically surface to gulp in air every 15-20 minutes. Breathing makes a loud gulping sound that anglers use to target them.
(image: an arapaima at the surface)
Because of their ability to breathe air, arapaimas are top predators in low-oxygen environments. Non-air breathing fish are forced to slow down in water with low levels of dissolved oxygen as they can't get enough oxygen through their gills. Since Arapaimas breathe air, they can easily chase down lethargic smaller fish. They are especially potent predators during the low season, when water levels lower. A combination of rotting vegetation reducing oxygen levels and ponds getting cut off from rivers and losing a supply of oxygen lets the arapaima reign supreme. Arapaimas are primarily predators that feed on smaller fish, though they will hunt other types of animals and eat fruits and seeds. Even land animals aren't safe as arapaimas have been known to launch themselves out of the water to catch animals near the shore. A combination of sharp teeth and their bony tongues are used to debilitate prey.
(image: an arapaima with its mouth open)
Not content with powerleveling their attack stat, arapaimas also have excellent defense. Their scales have been compared to bullet proof vests. Each has a hard, mineralized outer layer over multiple layers of collagen fibers. These layers are all oriented at an angle to each other to provide extra strength. This orientation of layers is called a Bouligand-type arrangement and is similar to how plywood is assembled. The harder outer layers and flexible inner layers work together to allow for both strength and flexibility. These scales help provide protection form large predators such as caiman and small threats like biting piranha. They also like provide protection from other arapaima, as the fish are aggressive and will fight each other.
(image: a diagram showing the composition of arapaima scales. source)
You probably wouldn't expect a swimming tank of an animal to be a good parent, but you'd be wrong. Arapaimas work together in mated pairs to build nests for their eggs, then cooperate to guard the nest. Once the eggs hatch, the male will practice mouth brooding, keeping his young safe in his mouth. The female will also help by patrolling the area around the male to ward off predators. They secrete pheromones from their heads to ensure the young don't swim too far away. Eggs are laid either in in the low season or as water levels are starting to rise, ensuring that the young become independent during the high season.
(Image: baby arapaimas)
Arapaima are classified as "data deficient" by the IUCN. This means there isn't enough data to properly assess their conservation needs. They are known to be threatened by overfishing. Arapaima make up a large part of the diet of many South American populations. Habitat loss and pollution are also believed to threaten them. They have been introduced to many areas out of their native range and are an invasive species in placed like Florida, Malaysia, and India.
Does anyone else remember these cards? (image: the arapaima card from Weird n' Wild Creatures)
#wet beast wednesday#fishblr#fish#biology#zoology#ecology#animals#aquatic biology#animal facts#absolute unit#arapaima#pirarucu#paiche
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i wanna clarify that my stance on pesticides is "Take them very seriously, fully understand their effects, and use them only as a last resort," not "Never use pesticides ever" because the circumstances where they're needed do exist
Similar with herbicides like Glyphosate, do I hate them? Yes, but it is also true that nothing else will kill some invasive species short of carefully ripping every scrap of them out of the ground, and you can minimize the environmental impacts of them by applying carefully and judiciously
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RW Headcanon: Know the Difference! | An Overview of Quetzalli's Slugcats
Here’s a headcanon I’ve wanted to elaborate on for a while, and today I finally felt compelled to make it real! Also, just a disclaimer I am not a huge biology nerd nor have I studied it that heavily, so I apologize if something here doesn’t make sense or if I get something wrong. I just like fantasy worldbuilding from time to time, and I always like trying to make sense of things I’m interested in!
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Basically, I’m in the crowd that interprets slugcats as mustelids rather than literal slugs. When I say this, however I don’t mean that slugcats would necessarily be classified in the actual mustelidae family, seeing as Rain World’s world is most-likely not Earth and therefore our taxonomic classifications and phylogenetic relations can’t necessarily apply. Thus, when I call them “mustelids”, I really just mean that I imagine them as some kind of weasel with all the necessary physical traits to earn that general label.
The first half of the name “slugcat”, in my headcanon, is thus not referring to any literal connection to slugs or other mollusks, but is instead derived simply from their appearance. Due to their long ears and thick tail, and because their fur and fat often squishes together in such a way that it makes their features blend together and their bodies appear more smooth (it’s the same physics as that whole “cats are liquid” idea), the general silhouette of a slugcat can easily be likened to that of a literal slug. The second half of their name is also not literal, and instead refers to their jumping and acrobatic abilities and their skill in hunting and pouncing on small prey, which is very similar to that of small cats.
Species Overview
Now to give a little more detail on slugcats themselves as a species! I headcanon them as small to medium-sized mammals most similar to Earth weasels in both their biology and their ecological niche, who originally served as cute low-maintenance pets for the Ancients and as hunters of small pests in facilities on the ground. They’re clever by nature and good at fitting through tight spaces, and later on they evolved greater jumping abilities to pounce on prey. They’re also very social creatures, who’ve taken to forming medium to large colonies primarily in and around the massive trees that thrive between the cracks in iterators’ rainstorm areas (like the one Gourmand, Survivor, and Monk’s colony lives in). Due to this social nature they also generally travel in groups of at least two, both for company and protection against tougher animals. Travel partners are usually siblings or good friends, and sometimes even whole families will journey out together to find food and other resources for the rest of the colony.
Despite being a small prey animal, slugcats have managed to get by not only due to their intelligence — the evolution of which would be seen as a rather unexpected twist of events if you asked their creators, for the Ancients found them cute but rather simple — but because of their impressive adaptability. It’s similar to that of real life red foxes and pigeons, and it allows them to survive decently well even in less ideal environments; a trait especially necessary for a world as industrialized as this one, even if its people are gone and most of the machinery is inactive. As such not all colonies live in trees; some find homes in the abandoned facilities, large underground hollows, and a few bold colonies have even claimed territories high up in iterator cities alongside scavengers. Slugcats are opportunists and masters at making the best of their surroundings, yet even beyond that they carry a certain other, “special” ability of their own that makes them as diverse as they are clever. But that’s a headcanon for another day…
Reasoning
Now for some out-of-universe explanation for this classification choice. I’ve always seen slugcats as some kind of small scurrying mammal (kind of a bias on my part, I just like mammals honestly, and they’re most familiar to me), mainly due to the way they look and move when on all fours, and their place in the game’s food chain. Originally though I saw them as rodents and compared them to mice and rats, which I still sometimes use for anatomy reference for these creatures. But one day a friend of mine saw me drawing slugcats and thought they were weird ferrets, and the more I thought about it and the more I developed personal speculative biology headcanons for slugcats, the more that label seemed the most fitting for them. It was also solidified when I did a bit more research and realized the main characteristic of rodents is their buck teeth, which just didn’t seem to fit with how I perceived slugcats. Not to mention rodents aren’t really predator animals, and slugcats’ implied natural diet and the gameplay itself does strongly imply if not confirm they have some instinctive hunting ability.
Thus, it seemed “weasel” was the best classification for these creatures, and I quite like it so far! Once again it satisfies my mammal preference, but I also just think it’s a fun idea that neither part of the “slugcat” name is literal, similar to a lot of real-life creatures named after completely different animals, including fellow weasel, the polecat. Plus, I realized recently it’s kind of ironic with how I perceive the messenger slugcats, Hunter and Spearmaster, as being like hunting or guard dogs for their creators, when weasels are exactly the kind of animal humans with their dogs would normally hunt for! It’s cute, it’s familiar, it’s fun, yet I think it still has just as much potential for some interesting speculative biology ideas as the literal slug slugcat interpretations!
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I'm so glad to finally get this out! I like seeing specbio slugcat headcanons in the RW fandom, yet I haven't seen many more in-depth takes from artists who don't take the "slugcats are literal slugs/mollusks/primarily mollusk-based" angle. Not that that's a bad headcanon of course; do what you think feels right! But once again I personally prefer slugcats being mammals, and I always look for fan-content that's as close to my personal preferences as possible. And when I can't find enough of it, I make it myself!
So hopefully this serves as a bit more of that kind of representation for the mustelid slugcat interpretation. It at least helped me develop my own idea of the species a bit more; much of that stuff in the overview part was ideas I came up with while typing this whole headcanon out!
As always, I hope you enjoy this headcanon of mine! I've still got so many ideas to develop and share, and even more coming as I continue to ponder these characters and their stories, so as long as you guys still like these Rain World headcanons of mine, they'll keep coming!
#art#artwork#drawing#drawings#sketch#sketches#digital#digital art#animal art#slug#worldbuilding#fanart#rain world#headcanon#headcanons#rw headcanons#slugcat#rw slugcat#quetzalli draws#quetzalli headcanons
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Some features of the earth urchins compared to the four hedgehogs of the world of Sonic!
One day I asked myself the question of how would be the anatomy of Sonic and I began to investigate the anatomy of the ground urchins but I liked so many details of them that I put together some characteristics of these animals to compare them with the four hedgehogs of the world of Sonic.
us start!
Starting with obvious facts:
In the world of Sonic only showed to have four hedgehogs; Sonic, Amy, Shadow and Silver, (the green does not count because it is still Sonic)
They all appear to be of a "same species of hedgehog".
For we know 16 types of earth urchins on our planet.
On the other hand I thought Silver was of a different species like Shadow. (By the shape of its spikes) But I don’t see the point, so they must be the same species. Although Shadow might be a little authentic in his design, I’ll explain later.
(Data: the hedgehog Atelerix algirus and the hedgehog Hemiechinus auritus are the ones who take care more to be pets at home)
FOOD
-Ground urchins eat insects, worms, molluscs, snakes, some fruits, small vertebrates, acorns, young birds and eggs.
(the hedgehog thought about it a little before attacking)
-Sonic and the others eat things that could be considered human; chili dogs, coffee beans (this is done by Shadow), strawberry cake (eaten by Amy and Sonic hates it), hamburgers (by SonicBoom), apples (by a drawing of Silver), and so on.
ANATOMY
The ground urchins have very good flexibility, an arched spine and strong and flexible muscles, that allows them to become ball. Comparing it with the deformed hedgehogs (Sonic) there is not much difference since all present good strength and flexibility, except Silver that can not be made ball.
The spikes of hedgehogs are made of keratin, which is a protein substance. I guess the same applies to Sonic and so on.
Although in Sonic Unleashed when he is electrocuted we can see that it does not have "bones" in its large spikes, it is a little obvious to know but data that goes without saying.
The skeleton of ground urchins is similar to other mammals, only that its spine is a little more curved, as well as other details; as that its clavicle is well developed so that it can dig hard. This is very different from Sonic’s body and so on as it would resemble more a human structure.
Although also to keep in mind Sonic’s feet are… a closed thing…
By the way the snout and mouth are very different too. Sonic has a snout but the nose and mouth are different from the ground urchin.
And another fact: the hedgehogs take incredibly long walks if it is for food; something like 7.2 km/h and if we combine it with the particularity of Sonic being very fast this powerful detail does not overlook.
Time when I jumped out of my spot when I was reading this.
I love this, I have no idea if the creator of Shadow has taken this as a reference but did you know that hedgehogs have a blue border that surrounds their dark eyes? This can only be seen when hedgehogs look to the side. So the great "eyeliner" of Shadow could be a real detail of the animal but taken as a reference to leave it beside your eyes on the outside.
The tail of the common hedgehogs is bare, but the tail of the deformed ones appears to be of the same color as all their other spikes.
I think, canonically, the characters of the Sonic world can mate. But I didn’t see anything that highlighted this, I mean, we can witness Cream’s mother.
Male hedgehogs have a small penis, (bulge), located in what would be their navel and have intra-abdominal testicles (they remain in the abdomen instead of leaving through the scrotum) and the female vulva is a small button that is located in front of the anus.
I guess since they’re characters from the '90s, it’s obvious that this wasn’t thought of at the time of their creation.
There’s not much to think about since they’re characters who may or may not wear clothes (Tails-Nine and Sally-Amy) and yet we wouldn’t see anything, not even the nipples! Because hedgehogs have five nipples, both female and male, and you’ll notice that Sonic has nothing.
But I found a picture of Sally where she has more clothes. I suppose it must be a hallmark that female characters wear clothes. (Although Sally is not a canonical character, of course.)
THE 5 SENSES:
Sight: they do not have good view, it is said that hedgehogs have no sense of space, but they can distinguish shapes.
Although the hedgehogs are blind and may have collisions with objects, they continue to travel great distances and this does not cause them to slow down, they continue with the same speed as if they had good eyesight.
Smell: very developed, so I guess the four hedgehogs can smell very well from several meters, maybe Sonic can smell Eggman without making noise, will smell of egg?
If you hid a chili dog under the ground in a box, Sonic could find it.
Hearing: the ear of hedgehogs can detect high frequency sounds, their developed sense allows them to locate their prey underground.
Tip: If you saw the Sonic Prime series you will notice that Sonic’s ears move often before a sound. I think a good detail added for the blue hedgehog, this is also added in the IDW comics, I did not find the panel but it is when Amy stays listening to the ground and knows that two hedgehogs are close, those hedgehogs were Shadow and Sonic.
But although hedgehogs have a very sensitive ear I do not consider it the same for the four hedgehogs as they would go crazy at the sounds of Eggman machines, explosions or a simple click of the computer mouse. (Ground urchins get stressed too fast with a simple computer click)
Taste: These animals have a peculiar… sense of taste. They like the taste of a hundred feet.
So it’s not uncommon for Shadow to like bitter, for Sonic to like spicy, and for Amy to like sweet, what would Silver like? Healthy or the first thing he finds in his world to eat?
Types of sounds hedgehogs make
Sounds of joy: these little things purr like a cat, and they can even mix it with whistles. Could it be that Shadow purred when he was with Maria?
Bullying sounds: they emit a sound through the nose from a strong breathing, they do it when they feel attacked or are upset. (I don’t know if they thought of it this way when they made Shadow growl annoyingly in Sonic Prime. The same with Amy and Sonic when they got jealous or bothered with each other at Sonic Boom)
Whining sound: when they feel pain they emit a sound like a scream, I could notice this in a video of a hedgehog that was in the water of a bathtub. (although there are always exceptions)
Sleeping sounds: Hedgehogs snore, I guess they all snore too?Hedgehogs fall asleep anywhere. In the Sonic game where Amy’s birthday is celebrated, Tails mentions that Sonic can sleep anywhere, even in the most unusual.
Data: the hedgehogs have nails/claws that they use to dig the earth and since the of Sonic characters are put gloves to not show their hands I think they should not have pads like normal animals but rather human hands. Well, Sticks is the only one I’ve seen without gloves and she’s a badger and badgers have pads. So all Sonic characters should have hands without the characteristics of their species.
BEHAVIOR
The behavior of one ground urchin and the other four is very different, except Shadow, he should stay on the side of the ground urchins.
Since hedgehogs are solitary, they only come together when it’s mating season. (Although Sonic likes to spend time alone…but he’s not a lone wolf like Shadow)
UNGIMIENTO (I couldn’t find the word in English)
When tasting a taste or perceive a new smell, or rare, the animal bites the source of this flavor or smell (Animals, objects, people, whatever) to then make a frothy, thick and white drool that with the tongue are smeared on the side peaks and those near his face.
(Scientists don’t know why they do this)
If I imagine it for the four deformed hedgehogs maybe this does not exist for them, as they smell new things all the time.
youtube
EXTRA DATA:
Hedgehogs can swim but they don’t like to stay in the water too long because they can drown, I saw a documentary that mentioned this.
I like that touch they gave Sonic that in the water he is scary, I don’t know if it’s something canonical or fandom but it was nice to see him be the only one with a life jacket in the Olympics.
Remember when they did that twitter and tiktok special where they asked Sonic what would happen if he was a worm?
Well, hedgehogs eat worms.
And did you know that the Egyptian hedgehog is prey to foxes?
While it’s another kind of hedgehog this is funny.
In Sonic the movie the character Longclaw is the "mother" of Sonic… the funny thing about this is that she is an owl and owls eat hedgehogs.
Who had the idea to give a friend and mother predators to Sonic?
That’s all. I hope you liked these characteristics that I came up with.
See you later!
#sonic fandom#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fanart#amy rose#silver the hedgehog#Youtube
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I know that Inkling societies mirror human ones because of plot reasons going back to Alterna, but I've really enjoyed seeing your 'convergent evolution' takes on the biology, so why not apply that same logic to something like, say, architecture? At a glance, sure, Inkopolis and the Splatlands look recognizable to us, but would for instance an inkling or octoling's home have a layout differently built for their unique needs and behavior?
Thank you! also yes this is a good point! I've been avoiding doing anything too outlandish with the architecture or much of any of the worldbuilding to be honest because we know very little about Splatoon architecture and... well, stuff like this, to begin with. And it's harder to try and change major things about the world itself than it is to work with alternative biology for a creature in my opinion; all we really know when it comes to architecture and city- and building design in Splatoon that it is very similar to those of humans, and a lot of the elements are based on modern day Japan. I doubt the developers are doing that much to differentiate the architecture from human buildings and stuff because granted it would be a ridiculous amount of thoughts and work to sculpt a society and buildings that accommodate like 500 different species MINIMUM.... there's some little things here and there, like the Giant Doorways in the Deepsea Metro, but then there's other things like the freaking escalator in Inkopolis Plaza that's literally the width of maybe 1 Inkling and no other species even fits in that. Hell, it's not even the width of TWO PEOPLE which is at least expected of escalators to my knowledge--- anyway....
my point being I don't like to make sweeping differences to human architecture when it comes to Splatoon, because whether I like it or not a LOT of their stuff is just human architecture a little bit to the left. But that doesn't mean you can't make any changes to it, and it also doesn't mean there aren't any changes, those changes just might not be as visible.
Some random things I've thought about:
Modern housing in Inkadia has VERY strong windows. Glass in general is very strong in urban environments, especially buildings near Turf War areas for obvious reasons... you don't want people Super Jumping through your window nor your window blasted to smithereens by a Trizooka shot that missed.
In apartment buildings, if there are mail slots on the doors, there's a container on the other side. Prevents people from slinking into your house through the mail slot. Apparently this is a common thing to have in Japan? We just have mail slots or postboxes out in the yard or lobby.
Also to prevent people from slinking into your house: residential buildings have dense grates, nets or spikes in their ventilation shafts. In some older buildings and non-residentials, these might be missing. But without things like this, any Inkling (typically) can just fit straight through a pipe as long as their beak fits in it, so you would end up having guests you maybe don't want.
Quickly about apartments; they're actually a very popular form of living not just for cost-cutting and because there's a fuck ton of residents in Inkadia, but because inkfish are mostly very social and do better surrounded with lots of people living in close quarters. The two most popular types of apartments are single-person ones that are basically just a single-room hole, and bigger apartments that have several small rooms and a community area that are meant for a whole school of squid (usually a friend group) to live in. People who live in the single-person apartments typically just go home to sleep and maybe cook or something... unless you're an introverted squid, or not a squid at all, and just settle for very little when it comes to space.
Inklings ALWAYS have some type of direct heating in their houses, from space heaters to a kotatsu to heated blankets to sun lamps. This is because Inklings are mostly cold-blooded and become very sluggish if their body temperature falls too much (for example from lack of physical activity or from cold room temperature), so there's a focus on keeping one's living quarters comfortably warm. Most lamps marketed for inkfish are actually heat lamps to the point where finding a lamp that Doesn't Make The Room Hot if it's on for too long is kind of hard.
Inklings are pretty vulnerable to dry air due to their thin skin and dependence on humidity to keep them thoroughly hydrated. As a result, you'll find air humidifiers in like, every house. In some AC units, a humidifier function is included. From a human perspective, the average Inkling apartment feels warm and humid - but to them it feels just normal. Due to the relatively high humidity, it's pretty common for electrical outlets to have covers for when they're not in use.
It's common for Octarian homes to have "sleeping holes" or "dens" carved into the wall. These haven't really become trendy in Inkopolis yet, but they probably will. It's also quite common for inkfish homes to have stacked furniture and interior made in layers - because they can fit in very tight spaces in swim form, maze-like interiors are still fully usable to most inkfish. Though it's rarer to find people who actually want to deal with the clutter.
Most Inkopolis bathrooms have a combined shower-bath. Inkfish showers come with a shower head that only really lets mist through on the default setting. (You're expected to test this BEFORE you take your first shower and replace it if necessary because you don't want to get into the tub and then find out it's a normal cross-species shower head on fucking Jet Mode.) Bathtubs are mainly used for re-absorbing moisture and soaking in ink rather than cleaning (because inkfish don't do very well with actual baths).
Most flooring is specifically made to be ink-resistant and non-absorptive. The combined humidity of the air and the ink that inkfish naturally get everywhere would ruin wooden floors IMMEDIATELY.
Toilets usually have a flap or gate blocking the drain that flips open when it's flushed. There are too many historical cases of people falling into toilets and just fucking dying or going missing forever because it's difficult to get out. (Mostly kids, but also people who fell asleep or too far into thought and just slinked into there. The world is full of danger when you can fit into any gap.) also lots of people accidentally laying eggs there which for obvious reasons is REALLY BAD if there's nothing to catch those.
All modern apartment buildings are required to have elevators. I'm pretty sure this is also just a real-life requirement nowadays. A lot of older buildings in Inkopolis don't have any, though... and while Super Jumping on street level is usually prohibited, most apartments have roof access, so a lot of people still jump between work/hobbies and their house. It is A LOT faster than dealing with traffic or walking (but it's also mostly illegal).
uh probably more things. My brain is empty now but hopefully that's some kind of inspiring ty for asking!
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Hummingbird Hawk Moths: as a result of their hummingbird-like behavior and appearance, these moths are often mistaken for actual hummingbirds
The Eurasian hummingbird hawk moth: Macroglossum stellatarum
Like an actual hummingbird, the hummingbird hawk moth uses a flight maneuver called "swing-hovering" (rapidly swinging from side-to-side while hovering in mid-air), has a wing-speed of up to 85 beats-per-second, produces a humming noise when flying, and feeds on the nectar from flowers; the hairs on its body even resemble the tail-feathers and wings of a hummingbird.
These moths are also able to maintain a stable position in mid-air by relying on the same flight patterns that are found among hummingbirds -- the moth rapidly rotates its wings in a "figure-8" motion, generating lift on both the forward and backward strokes, which effectively allows the moth to hover in place. The flight maneuvers (and other adaptations) of the Eurasian hummingbird hawk moth are so similar to the characteristic traits found in hummingbirds that this little moth is often mistaken for a real hummingbird, despite the fact that it is found exclusively in habitats that do not contain any wild/native hummingbirds. Though this species can be found in various ecosystems throughout the British Isles, mainland Europe, Central Eurasia, and even some parts of North Africa, there are no actual hummingbirds in any of these regions, as wild hummingbirds are found only in the Americas.
These moths (M. stellatarum) have a wing-speed of up to 85 beats-per-second. For comparison, the amethyst woodstar hummingbird, which is one of the smallest and fastest hummingbirds in the world, has a similar wing-speed of up to 80 beats-per-second.
While most other moths are nocturnal, the hummingbird hawk moth is active only during the day. It uses a specialized proboscis to feed on the nectar from various flowers, including honeysuckle, jasmine, tulip, red valerian, lilac, and phlox. This species also differs from other moths due to its lack of auditory organs, meaning that it has no sense of hearing. Among most moths, auditory organs have evolved as a defense mechanism to detect the ultra-sonic chirps that are emitted by predatory bats at night, but because the hummingbird hawk moth is only active during the day, when bats are largely inactive, that particular defense mechanism was not developed.
Experts generally believe that the similarities shared by hummingbirds and hummingbird hawk moths actually arose through convergent evolution; this means that the hummingbirds and the moths both experienced a similar set of needs, pressures, and circumstances within their respective environments, and they simply developed similar adaptations in response to those circumstances. Their uncanny resemblance therefore does not qualify as a form of animal mimicry -- the moths may look and act a lot like hummingbirds, but the resemblance is viewed as a product of incidental factors, and it is unlikely that those similarities were developed for the purpose of providing camouflage.
This is not the only type of moth that is commonly referred to as a "hummingbird moth." The genus Macroglossum contains several moth species that have hummingbird-like characteristics, and the term "hummingbird moth" can be applied to many of them; there are also at least five "hummingbird moths" in the genus Hemaris, although they belong to a separate clade and their resemblance to hummingbirds is somewhat less convincing. They include H. thysbe (also known as the hummingbird clearwing moth), H. diffinis (the snowberry clearwing moth), H. thetis (the Rocky Mountain clearwing moth), H. aethra (the Diervilla clearwing moth), and H. gracilis (the slender clearwing moth), all of which are found in North America.
Moths of the genus Hemaris: these moths may sometimes be identified as "hummingbird moths;" the genus Hemaris also contains a variety of moths that are popularly referred to as "bee hawk moths" or "bee moths" because they bear a resemblance to bumble-bees.
The Eurasian hummingbird hawk moth is not closely related to any of the "hummingbird moths" from the genus Hemaris, however, as it belongs to a completely different genus and occupies a separate habitat on the other side of the Atlantic. Still, it's interesting to note the presence of similar hummingbird-like traits within these different genuses.
Sources & Addition Info:
PBS Nature: Featured Creature, the Hummingbird Hawk Moth
The Wildlife Trusts: Hummingbird Hawk Moth
Royal Society for the Protection of Birds: Article about Hummingbird Hawk Moths
Journal of Comparative Physiology: Fuelling on the Wing: the sensory ecology of hawk moth foraging
Country Life: The Confusingly Enormous Hummingbird Hawk Moth that Looks Set to Become a Regular Fixture in British Gardens
#moths#cute moth#tw bugs#hummingbird#hummingbird hawk moth#insect#entomology#evolution#science#nature#lepidoptera#biology#I spend way too much time reading about moths#but they are just wildly underrated
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Ethnographic Research: Part 1
Loud screams and flailing hands, yet no one to help as all of them already jumped off their boat in the middle of the lake. They can feel it, something is filling them up, fast, and they cannot do anything about it. But after a wild couple of minutes, deafening silence as no more scream for help coming out. Soon, they climb the ladder by the side of the boat and get back up to the deck, looking at each other with curiosity and gleeful, awkward smile. One of them then mouthed
"Let's inform the Mother Ship of a job well done," and just like that, the cold expression-less face turned warmer, rowdier even, as it takes on a more humane color and expression.
----
There's no such thing as a memo or pointers on "How to Perfectly Blend In among Human" or "Step-by-Step Guide for Seamless Integration into Human Society". At least not for the Xarthan. As an invasive, cruel yet hyper-intelligent extraterrestrial being, taking over by sheer force and adapting accordingly is always the playbook. It's in their DNA to give complete disregard of other species as long as their species advanced or survived through their tumultuous, warring lifestyle. Yet, a handful of Xarthan believed that there's a better way of life out there. That they don't have to continously move from one planet to the others, pillaging one's life after the other, just to get their euphoric-inducing stimulant release. That maybe killing other species is not the only way they can get that sensation that makes them alive. Their centuries of research eventually led the descendants of these slightly differing Xarthans to the small blue dot their transmission revealed to be called planet Earth.
So, these small pack of 20 Xarthans decided that their research hypothesis need to be verified. They descended in batches, 2 in each spot seemingly infested by human being and planned to converge after each of them lived at least around a month or two acclimatizing to Earth's society. Their mission is to verify whether or not the sexual release done by the male population of Earth released a similar stimulant to what the Xarthans experienced when they manage to exterminate other species
In a complete Xarthan's style, these batches of alien take over the first human they encountered with little to no regards about the life these human previously have. In its static form, a Xarthan is usually 7-8 feet tall, translucent and very slender being. But due to its "liquid" nature, it can adjust its shape. Upon contact of the vessel's internal water or blood, a Xarthan will merge with it and then spread itself through the entire system of the body. This also applies to bodies of water in the wild, so in the event of encountering bodies of water, a Xarthan can break down into millions of microparticles and takeover multiple vessels at once. After taken over, those vessels will be controlled by a singular hive mind as those microparticles originated from a single Xarthan entity before breaking down. That case happened to the unfortunate Pike boys and their girls who spent their time on a lakeside cabin for their weekend break. When they jumped to the water, they have no idea that 2 Xarthans just landed a couple minutes before right around the area where their boat stopped. Upon unknowingly making contact to the infested water, their bodies all contorted and spasmed as millions of microparticles swarmed their system. They tried their best to save themselves but it was just too much and before long, they were all taken over
Still in the States, but more to its Northwest area, the hunting group didn't realize that there's a pair of predator lurking around the shadows. The group went to Montana for a casual hunting since this is not yet the season for elk hunting anyway. They split themselves into group of two, not knowing that by the end of the day, a pair of them will be back as totally different person. That misfortune befell on Richard and Logan, the slightly more experience hunter among the group as they were USMC veteran and probably have the most experience with gun compared to the others. The Xarthans that took over their bodies laughed on the last memory the two humans have
"He was scared shitless. It was genuinely the most horrified he's ever been,"
"Yup, same goes here. I think he peed his pants HAHAH"
The 4 Xarthans in the States are just 1/5 out of the research group. If went according to the original plan, the other 16 will land around:
1. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
2. the Greek isles
3. Bangkok, Thailand
4. Ibiza, Spain
5. The Carribbean
6. Northern Europe, and
7. Eastern coast of Australia
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Icebreaker | Alexander Dane/Reader
I. Never Meet Your Heroes
Summary: As a budding actress and a big fan of Alexander Dane, all your dreams are coming true when you land a role in Galaxy Quest opposite your favourite actor. To your disappointment, Alexander doesn't seem to like you very much - but unbeknownst to you, he's trying desperately to ignore his attraction to you.
Read now on Ao3 or below the cut:
You were almost vibrating with excitement on your first day on set.
You hadn’t taken part in the table read, as your casting was so last minute, so this was your first time meeting the cast and your first time playing the scene would be when the cameras were rolling. You were nervous, but you didn’t mind - you’d spent plenty of time as a theatre understudy, so you were used to playing a scene against someone you hadn’t rehearsed with. What you weren’t used to, however, was playing against such famous names.
If that weren’t enough, your main scene partner was to be none other than Alexander Dane, who just so happened to be your favourite actor in the world.
You wouldn’t quite say you were obsessed with him, but you had seen all his films, and you’d even managed to see him perform Shakespeare in London once, though you’d missed out on seeing him at the stage door. You also had a poster from his performance as Richard III on your wall, and hidden away in notebooks you’d never shared with anyone were fanfictions you’d written about his Galaxy Quest character, mostly involving romances between Dr Lazarus and characters you’d made up that totally weren’t stand-ins for yourself.
And now… you were actually going to play a love interest to Lazarus!
All your dreams were coming true. Your first TV role, in Galaxy Quest, with Alexander Dane, playing Lazarus’ love interest!
You absolutely, resolutely, could not fuck this up.
Your character’s name was Bethany, a fellow member of the Mak’Tar race, who, like Lazarus, believed herself to be the last of the race until she and Lazarus meet by chance and the two are faced with the question of whether they should procreate to repopulate their species.
On your arrival, you met with the production assistant, who led you to hair and make-up to be fitted with a cap similar to the one Alexander wore to make yourself look like an alien.
You were almost done, your hair now completely hidden by the cap and the last of your make-up being applied, when the door was thrown open and none other than Alexander Dane stepped through and sat himself down in the chair next to yours, completely ignoring you, which was fortunate because it gave you an opportunity to close your mouth when you gaped at him.
“Let’s get this blasted thing on quickly, Lena, I want to get today over with,” Alexander grumbled.
Lena, the make-up artist, rolled her eyes and continued working on you with hardly a flinch at Alexander’s abrasive attitude.
“I’m nearly done here, Alexander, then I’ll be with you.”
Alexander looked over and seemed to finally notice you. He frowned, then saw the matching cap on your head, and rolled his eyes.
“They’re going ahead with this bloody plotline, then,” he grumbled, then immediately grabbed a magazine from the dresser and stuck his nose in it.
You hadn’t said a word, and yet somehow you felt like you’d managed to fuck up your meeting with him.
“Don’t mind him, [Y/n],” said Lena, apparently completely unaffected by Alexander’s grumpiness. “He’s always like this. I must be his least favourite person on set because I’m the one who puts his cap on.”
“Third least,” Alexander replied from behind his magazine. “After Jason and Frank.”
“Jason Nesmith, he plays Taggart,” Lena explained to you. “And —”
“Frank Ross, the creator, I assume,” you finished.
Lena smiled. “You’ve done your homework!”
“I watch the show, I know who created it.”
Alexander groaned and lowered his magazine to finally look at you, albeit via the mirror. “Great, they hired another fan. When did this show stop hiring actors?”
“I can be both!” you said defensively. “Besides, what’s wrong with hiring fans? There’s no point in creating art if you don’t love it.”
“Pfft. I’d hardly call this show art. It’s nothing but meaningless drivel, and this episode’s no different, so don’t flatter yourself into thinking you’re creating something great just because you’re on TV.”
“All done!” Lena announced, ignoring Alexander, and she stepped aside to let you examine yourself in the mirror. “What do you think?”
“Wow, that is weird,” you laughed, turning your head to the side to examine your new alien look. “You can’t even tell I’ve got hair underneath! I look pretty good, actually, maybe I’ll shave my head after this.”
Alexander scoffed. “Take the cap with you, make it a new fashion trend.”
“Right, Alexander, it’s your turn!” Lena announced, and the actor just sighed.
“Fine, let’s get it over with.”
Lena gave you directions to the costume department and you left feeling even more anxious than before about your scenes with Alexander Dane.
---
Although your background was in theatre, you knew from industry knowledge that in film and TV, scenes were never filmed in order. So it was a surprise to you that your first scene of the day was actually your first scene of the episode. Your character Bethany was locked in a futuristic alien zoo, gaped at daily by an alien species that marvelled at “the last Mak’Tar.” That was, until the crew of the Protector came by to rescue another alien from their zoo habitat, and Lazarus found Bethany in her cage.
You ran through the scene with the director a few times before Alexander’s arrival. Once he did arrive, he only talked quickly with the director before getting into position, and suddenly you were moments away from your first scene.
The director raised her megaphone. “ACTION!”
Lazarus approached the invisible barrier that surrounded the habitat, staring in disbelief at the figure curled up on the floor. The floor itself was wet sand with small pools of seawater, just like the environment of his home planet of Tev’Meck. Without the rest of the zoo in his periphery, he might even have believed he was back on Tev’Meck.
He glanced down at the information screen. It was all written in an alien language he couldn’t speak, but he recognised two words: Mak’Tar and Tev’Meck.
Lazarus walked around the enclosure slowly, trying not to wake the figure on the floor, until he was able to get a good look at them. Sure enough, they shared his physiology. Could it really be that another one of his kind was here, in this zoo?
A crash in the distance caused Lazarus to look up suddenly. Taggart, no doubt, causing chaos as he attempted to escape with the alien he’d come to recover.
He had to get out of there. And if there was a chance this sleeping figure really was another Mak’Tar, he had to get them out of there too.
Lazarus circled back around to the information panel and hacked the operational code he’d learnt earlier before coming to save their target. A few beeps later, the forcefield was down, and Lazarus stepped into the habitat, crouching down by the figure to wake them.
“Hello?” he whispered. “Can you hear me?”
He grabbed the figure’s shoulder, rolled them onto their back, and recoiled slightly in shock. It was a female Mak’Tar!
The woman opened her eyes slowly, blinking away the sleep, frowning in confusion at seeing a figure looming over her.
Lazarus composed himself and knelt down again.
“It’s alright, I’m here to help. My name is Lazarus, I’m a Mak’Tar too. What’s your name?”
“…Bethany,” replied the woman, pausing as if it took her a moment to remember.
“Well, Bethany, how would you like to escape?”
“I… I think I’d like that very much.”
Lazarus smiled and nodded. “Excellent. Take my hand.”
He stood, and Bethany took his outstretched hand. Wow, his hands are soft , you thought as Lazarus pulled Bethany to her feet. She took a step, but stumbled. Lazarus glanced down and saw that she was favouring her left foot, her right being bandaged. Without hesitation, Lazarus threw her arm around his shoulder and helped her stumble out into the corridor.
“Cut!”
For your first take, you thought it had gone pretty well. You hadn’t messed up once! Whether or not Alexander agreed, you weren’t sure, because he simply released your arm from his grip and immediately walked back to his original mark for the second take.
You ran through the scene three more times, filming from different angles each time, until the director concluded the scene finished.
What amazed you about Alexander was the way he switched between Lazarus and Alexander with ease. Action - he was a hero, a lone survivor who had to contain himself at the possibility of finding another survivor in favour of concentrating on a quick exit. He was smiling as he pulled Bethany to her feet, his eyes warm and kind, and just a little excited. Cut - he was an actor, a grumpy thespian stuck in a job he hated, just getting through the day until he could throw the cap back in Lena’s face and stomp off home. He let go of you as soon as he could, not looking at you or even acknowledging your existence outside of the scene.
Ever heard the saying never meet your heroes? Well, you were discovering now why that was true. Alexander Dane was your favourite actor, your idol, your celebrity crush and the reason you’d pursued acting in the first place. And, it turned out, he was a massive jackass.
You weren’t naïve; you hadn’t gone into this expecting your crush to fall in love with you and whisk you off on some romance. You hadn’t even expected to make friends with him. But you had hoped to at least have a good working relationship with him for the week you were there and to come away with some fun stories about the week you spent on the set of Galaxy Quest.
Apparently, that wasn’t to be. So you resolved yourself to give the best performance you could and hope the fans liked your character when the episode aired.
Your next scene took place on the viewing deck, Bethany having successfully escaped the alien zoo and finding herself on board the Protector. You stood in front of the glass that separated you from the green screen that would be replaced in post-production with the vast expanse of the cosmos, gazing thoughtfully through the window as the director took some establishing shots of you standing alone.
When she was happy with the solo shots, the director called action for Alexander to make his entrance.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Lazarus said as he stepped up beside Bethany, looking out at the cosmos and remembering what it was like for him when he first looked out into space from the safety of the ship.
“It’s terrifying,” Bethany replied quietly, and Lazarus frowned at her.
“Terrifying?”
“It’s so big… so easy to get lost.” She raised a hand and lightly placed her fingertip against the glass, covering an entire galaxy with just her fingertip. “How many species are out there?”
“Billions, I suppose. It’s impossible to count. Trillions of life forms… and none of them like us.”
Bethany looked up at him. Alexander’s profile was illuminated by the stage lights, emphasising the outline of his nose.
“How can you be sure? Maybe others survived. We did.”
Lazarus shook his head sadly. “I don’t think so. Even if there are… the chances of finding them are minuscule. It’s a miracle I ran into you.” He looked down at her and smiled, not a trace of Alexander’s regular irritation on his features. Lazarus was only kind, curious, and a little hesitant. “Perhaps it’s fortunate that I found you. So we can… keep the Mak’Tar species alive.”
“For now.” Bethany looked back out at the vast cosmos. “We’ll both die eventually, though. Then the Mak’Tar are done for.”
Lazarus hesitated. “Not necessarily. There would be more of us if we were to… make more.”
Bethany kept her gaze firmly fixed on the expansive view from the window. She blushed slightly - you had never quite grasped forcing the blood to rush to your cheeks, but you could at least act as if it had - then shook her head.
“No, I… I think it’s best not.”
Lazarus was stunned. He collected himself and said, “And let our species die?”
Bethany turned back to Lazarus, and as much as you understood her motivations, you selfishly wished the scene were to end with a passionate make out session.
“It’s survival of the strongest, Lazarus,” Bethany said. You very suddenly realised you’d missed a line, but your theatre instincts kicked in, and you continued. “Our people were squashed like bugs when someone stronger came along. One day, our conquerors will be destroyed by someone or something stronger than them. And so the cycle continues - until there’s nothing left. Why delay the inevitable?”
“All our history, our culture - gone —”
Bethany shook her head. “It’s not gone. It’s just a story now.”
The script called for Lazarus to be speechless, so you gave Alexander a few moments to let the emotions play out on his face, then Bethany glanced out the window again.
“I think I’ll ask to be dropped off on Atera. It always looked very pretty in the books.”
She glanced uncertainly at Lazarus one last time, and when his stunned silence continued, she walked away, leaving him alone with the crushing disappointment that he wouldn’t save his species after all.
“Cut! Great first go, guys, but [Y/n], you missed a line. After Alexander says ‘and let our species die’ —”
“‘Nothing lasts forever.’ Yeah, I know, sorry. Got ahead of myself.”
“Well, at least you kept going,” Alexander said as he came up to where you were standing to take his starting position again. “Most TV actors would have broken character, swore loudly then insisted on trying the whole thing again. You held it together like a true thespian.”
You smiled coyly. He was complimenting you!
“Well, my career has been theatre so far. I’m used to having to improvise on the spot without breaking character.”
Alexander smirked at you conspiratorially. “Honestly, I enjoy it. Keeps me on my toes. On camera, you stop and start again when you make a mistake - everything has to be so perfect. And once the filming’s done, that’s it, no going back. In theatre, you do it a little differently every night. It’s so much more…”
He paused, looking for the right word.
“Organic?”
Alexander looked at you with surprise, as if it were a wonder you understood.
You wanted to talk to him more about theatre, something you both clearly loved, but you had to do the scene five more times to get the right camera angles, so you returned to your mark by the window and readied yourself to do the whole thing over again.
When the scene was finally declared finished, you were done for the day, so you returned to the make-up room to get your cap taken off. Alexander had one more scene to do on the brig, so once Lena had released your hair from its captivity and you were back in your regular Earth clothes, you snuck into the back of the set to watch the cast wrapping up. When else would you get an opportunity to see a classic Galaxy Quest brig room scene being filmed?
Jason Nesmith was giving one of his classic Taggart speeches, all the crew showing rapt attention except for Lazarus, who was seemingly distracted.
The speech concluded, the crew applauded and set to work, and Taggart swaggered up to Lazarus at his station.
“Lazarus! Something up, buddy? You didn’t applaud or nod once during my speech. Was it not inspiring enough for you?”
Lazarus looked up at his captain and smiled good-naturedly. “Very inspiring, Captain, thank you. My apologies, I was…”
He glanced forward thoughtfully, looking at the cosmos through the window and remembering his conversation with Bethany earlier. Alexander in fact looked behind the cameras, and straight at you.
“…distracted,” he finished.
“Ah, thinking of that new girl, are ya? Not surprised, she’s a pretty one. I presume. If she had hair instead of your head thing, I’d think she was pretty. Suppose she’s pretty to you, isn’t she?”
“Mhm…” Lazarus responded, Alexander’s eyes still fixed directly on you. He blinked, as if snapping himself out of a trance, then turned back towards Taggart. “Yes, I suppose she is. Excuse me, Captain.”
He stood and exited the scene by the doors at the back. Jason finished the scene with a conversation with Gwen DiMarco, then the director called cut.
“Great take, everyone! Alexander - your best one yet. You really sold us on how conflicted Lazarus is. Alright, that’s a wrap for today, we’ve got some sets to prepare over the weekend so we’ll see you all bright and early on Monday!”
The crew began shutting down and you slipped back out so as to not get in the way. You were at the cloakroom collecting your coat and bag when Alexander, still in his costume, came up to you, taking you by surprise.
“Jesus! Sorry, Alexander, you scared me.”
He smirked. “Sorry. I just wanted to say, you weren't awful today. Did you say you came from theatre?”
You blushed, and you could feel that this time your cheeks really had gone red. “Oh - wow, thanks. Erm, yeah, nothing major, I’ve just been understudying the last couple of years.”
“Nonsense, understudies are vital! Learning everyone’s roles and being ready to take any one of them on at any moment? No wonder you did so well today without rehearsal. Listen, the cast and I are heading out to a bar tonight. It’s not often we get a whole weekend off. Would you like to join us?”
Surprise and excitement sprung up inside your chest. Surprise that the man who’d been grumpy all day was suddenly being nice, and excitement at the chance to socialise with the Galaxy Quest cast.
“Sure, I’d love to! Where are we going?”
Alexander winced. “Paolo’s Karaoke Bar. I’d avoid that place like the plague myself, but there are private rooms so we won’t be disturbed by fans, and the beer is good.”
“How many beers do I have to buy you to convince you to sing?” you grinned.
“I’ll be blackout drunk getting my stomach pumped before you get a note out of me. Is that a yes?”
“Yes, I’d love to come!”
“Great - and no recording any of it,” Alexander added sternly as you slipped your coat off again and came back inside to wait for everyone to finish getting out of their costumes. “If even a single photo of this ends up on Twitter, I’m holding you personally accountable. We don’t usually invite fans to join us, but since technically you’re an actor…”
“No tweeting, got it. I do just need to let my roommate know where I’m going, though. In case of, you know, murder.”
Alexander frowned at you.
“It’s a girl thing. Go, get de-capped, I’ll wait here.”
Alexander sighed, muttered something about young people, and left you waiting in the hallway, wondering what the night had in store for you.
---
You didn’t remember much of the taxi ride to Alexander’s house. Apparently it took half an hour, but you hardly paid attention, as you were far too busy snogging him in the back seat to care how long you’d been in the car for.
You came up for air when the taxi pulled up to the house, and once you ungracefully clamoured out of the car, Alexander paid the driver while you stared up at the Beverly Hills mansion.
“You live here alone?!” you gasped.
“Welcome to the rich side of town,” Alexander replied, his feet as unsteady as yours as he approached you and wrapped an arm around your waist. “Wanna see the inside?”
“Hell yes.”
After some fumbling with his keys, Alexander managed to get the front door open and he ushered you inside. He switched on the lights, and you gasped at just how huge and open the space was. Half the walls were all window, and those that were actual wall were lined with posters from Alexander’s previous projects - mostly his theatre shows, with a few films here and there.
“That’s the one I have,” you laughed, pointing to the poster of him from Richard III.
Alexander wrapped his arms around you from behind, his erection pressing into your arse as he held you close. “Is that so? How many wanks did teen [Y/n] have staring at that poster?”
“Far too many to count.”
“Did you imagine your fingers were mine?” Alexander murmured softly in your ear, one hand travelling tauntingly slowly past the waistband of your trousers. “Did you slip them inside trying to emulate my cock? Because believe me, mere fingers couldn’t come even close to stretching you the way my cock can.”
“I - I have a vibrator named after you,” you admitted, anticipating building up inside you when Alexander cupped your cunt with his hand, savouring the warmth you were radiating against him.
“My, you really are a naughty thing, aren’t you? Let’s see if my fingers live up to your imagination.”
You gasped as he slipped his middle finger inside you, firm and thick, his skin slightly rough and absolutely nothing like your own.
Alexander kept one arm firmly around your chest, a hand cupping your breast through your top, and you had to lean back into him to stay upright. He buried his face in your neck, teeth and tongue exploring your skin, his hair tickling your face slightly. His thumb circled your lower lips, searching for that sweet spot, and when he found it, you moaned, which quickly turned into a hiccup.
Alexander smirked against your neck, but when you hiccupped again, he paused his sensual movements.
“Hic - sorry,” you mumbled, your head spinning slightly from the combination of alcohol and arousal.
“Sit down, I’ll get you some water,” Alexander said softly. He pulled his hand out of your pants, which you thoroughly disliked, but you did feel better when he deposited you on the couch and went into the kitchen to fetch you some water. The couch was warm and soft, and you felt like you could just sink into it and sleep as comfortably as on a bed…
The next thing you knew, you were lying on your front, your eyes blinking open, though you quickly squeezed them shut when you saw the sunlight pouring in from the window.
You buried your face in the pillow and let out a groan. Your head was pounding. Great, you’d woken up with a migraine.
No… it wasn’t a migraine. It was a hangover. You could feel the familiar ache in your stomach as it tried to digest the alcohol you’d consumed.
You’d been hungover enough in the past to know your routine. Toilet, coffee, a greasy breakfast and a shower, in that order.
You reluctantly sat up in the bed, your eyes adjusting to the light, and your heart skipped a beat in fear for a moment when you didn’t recognise your surroundings. Whose bed were you in if not your own?!
You looked around for a clue, and on a wall was a glaringly obvious one - a massive four-panel framed art piece featuring Alexander Dane’s brooding headshot.
Oh god, you were in Alexander Dane’s bed.
…Alone. Where was the man himself?
You rolled out of the superking-sized bed, which was difficult as you were slap bang in the middle. You reached the edge eventually, and when you threw the covers back and sat up, you noticed that your trousers and bra had been discarded, but you still had your top on.
You trudged into the en-suite bathroom, which was bigger than your own bedroom, and sat down on the toilet. You’d solve the mystery of how you ended up alone in Alexander Dane’s bed in a bit - you had to take care of business first.
When that was done, you were feeling a bit more awake, and managed to find your discarded trousers on the floor. You couldn’t find your bra, so you pushed that thought aside for later, and turned your attention to finding Alexander.
He was, you discovered, fast asleep on the sofa in the living room, mouth gaping most inelegantly as he snored, one leg bent and the other splayed on the floor, with one arm on his chest and the other behind his head.
You nudged him softly. When he didn’t respond, you tickled his exposed armpit.
“What the fuck!” Alexander grumped as he shot awake, his arm instinctively clamping down against his side to protect himself from any further tickle attacks. He blinked, delirious, then saw you standing over him and frowned. “[Y/n]? What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I was hoping you’d know the answer to that,” you replied. “Last I remember we were at the bar, next thing I know I’m waking up in your bed without you in it.”
Alexander sat up, looking just as affronted by the light as you were, and he rubbed his temple.
“I don’t remember anything after the bar either,” he mumbled. “Why am I on the couch?”
“Dunno. I’d suggest you were a gentleman and insisted I took the bed, but from what I’ve learnt of you in the last day, you probably just collapsed on the sofa and I took the bed for myself.”
Alexander grunted, then yawned. “Ugh. Want some coffee?”
“If you’re offering.”
“‘Course I am. More of a gentleman than you seem to think.”
Alexander pushed himself up off the couch and shuffled off towards the kitchen, then paused halfway to pick something up from the armchair.
“This yours?”
He turned and offered you your own bra, and you blushed.
“Oh… yeah, I was wondering where that was.”
Alexander passed it to you without much thought, then continued his half-asleep trek to the kitchen, leaving you to wonder why the fuck your bra had been discarded on the armchair.
You quickly pulled off your top and set about putting your bra back on, trying to be quick before Alexander saw you, but of course by hurrying you fumbled more with the catch and it took you longer than you’d have liked before you finally got the straps over your shoulders and pulled your top back over your head.
“How do you like it?” Alexander asked when you entered the kitchen.
“Strong and black.”
“A woman after my own heart.”
You blushed again and sat yourself on a stool, looking around the kitchen, trying to remember something, anything, from your journey between the bar and Alexander’s bed.
“I vaguely recall offering you to stay at mine rather than get a taxi to your place alone,” Alexander said after a few moments. He was staring at the coffee maker as it boiled, as if his memories from last night were in there. “But after that, nothing until you attacked my armpit.”
“I don’t even remember that much. I think my memory ran out of storage about 2am.”
“So you remember karaoke then?”
You grinned. “Yes, I remember karaoke.”
“Mmph. Unfortunately so do I.”
Alexander poured you a hot cup of coffee, and when the first sip of the bitter drink passed your lips, you felt as if your soul had been renewed.
“That is the best thing I have ever tasted in the history of anything,” you sighed happily. “Both because I desperately need caffeine and because that’s a damn good coffee.”
“Some fancy stuff Gwen got me for Christmas,” Alexander said, leaning against the counter as he cradled his own cup like it was his salvation. “I don’t usually share it, so you should be honoured.”
You smiled. “It’s the greatest of honours.”
You were silent for a few minutes as you savoured your drinks, you trying to recall the previous night and he remembering small slivers of moments as his memory slowly came back to him.
He remembered coming back from the kitchen with a glass of water only to find you’d passed out on the sofa. He had tried to wake you, but you were out cold, so instead he hoisted you up and carried you to his bed. Exhaustion hit him, and he didn’t want to share a bed with you without your permission, so he relegated himself to the sofa instead.
That was all he remembered. How your bra had ended up on the armchair, he had no idea, because he was certain he’d dumped you on the bed fully dressed.
Once he’d managed to send you on your way, Alexander sat down at his computer and logged on to boot up the security programme. He had installed security cameras around his house in case of a break-in, not in case of lost drunken memories, but he absolutely had to know why your bra had made its way to the armchair.
He loaded the living room camera from the previous night and scrubbed through the footage until he saw the two of you walk in through the front door, then he slowed down and watched.
You came in first, followed by him, and - oh, god. His hand was down your trousers almost instantly. You looked very pleased with his actions, but you were clearly wasted - almost as soon as he left to fetch you some water, you sat down on the sofa and passed out.
Alexander watched as he carried you into the bedroom, then returned shortly after to pass out on the sofa himself. The armchair was still braless so he sped up the footage, until about an hour later when you appeared at the doorway.
He’d apparently not fallen asleep yet or was sleeping lightly, because you had only to say something to have him sitting up. You perched yourself on the arm of the armchair, the two of you exchanged words with each other - Alexander cursed himself for not having audio recording on this thing - and, to his own surprise, he stood up from the sofa, crossed the room in a few long strides, and his lips were on yours.
He watched himself sit on the chair and pull you onto his lap, and from the camera’s angle he could mostly just see your back, but it was plain that the two of you were kissing passionately. His arms wrapped around you and held you close, then grabbed the bottom of your shirt and pulled the whole thing over your head. You reached behind to unclasp your bra and threw it over the back of the armchair, where he’d find it later that morning.
Alexander sighed. What on earth had he been thinking?
Well, that was no question at all. His stupid, primal, drunk man brain had thought, Woman wants to fuck me. Dick wants to fuck woman. Must obey dick.
Never mind how young you were, or how drunk, or the fact that you were a bloody fan, probably just eager to tell your friends that you’d scored with Dr Lazarus.
He watched the screen anxiously, waiting for something to happen that he’d regret. He watched as you pulled away from the kiss to say something, and his horny, drunk self grinned excitedly.
Had he really fucked you and forgotten all about it?
On the screen, you said something else, and his past self paused. He said something, you replied, and he shook his head.
You seemed to protest, but he insisted and pushed you off his lap. You were apparently irritated, by the way that you grabbed your top and stormed off, leaving him to drag himself back to the sofa and fall back asleep, both of you leaving the bra behind on the armchair.
Alexander scrubbed through the footage just to be sure, but nothing else happened until you appeared hours later to wake him up.
He closed the footage and leant back in his chair with a sigh. He was relieved he’d apparently changed his mind about your drunken fumble, but now he had a conundrum. Should he tell you what the footage showed? Surely you too were wondering how the bra got there. Or did you know? You’d seemed just as confused as he was, and in fact seemed to not remember anything at all about coming back to his house. Or maybe you were just covering it up by pretending not to remember anything at all.
What would be the point in telling you? “Hey, [Y/n], I checked my cameras and we almost hooked up but apparently I changed my mind and sent you to bed. Just letting you know.”
If you knew, you might think it meant you had a chance with him. Alexander didn’t have anything against dating other actors, but he did have a strict rule about fans. He couldn’t possibly be with someone, whether for one night or long term, who just saw him as Dr Lazarus. Besides, if you liked the show, that clearly meant you had straw for brains, and he had higher standards than that.
No, he decided, it was best you didn’t know about that little fumble. On your next filming day, he would be nothing but professional, and any idea you might have of having a chance with him would quickly disappear.
---
Alexander’s version of “being professional” was to be even ruder to you than usual. You had no idea why he was being so abrasive, but he hardly spoke to you in the make-up room, chatting exclusively to Lena and giving you short, one or two word answers if he had to speak to you at all.
With no memory of the events on Friday, you could only conclude that Alexander just didn’t like you, though he didn’t seem to like anyone, so you tried not to take it personally. Even so, being rejected by your favourite actor for no apparent reason was soul-crushing to say the least.
You knew trying to talk to him and getting rebuffed would just upset you, so you decided to follow his lead and keep conversation to a minimum. While the cameras were rolling, you had an intense, uncertain relationship between your characters, but as soon as the cameras stopped, Alexander was back to ignoring you.
Even with his cold attitude towards you, you still managed to make the most of the experience, choosing to focus instead on the thrill of being on the Galaxy Quest set. Your character was in three episodes, arriving towards the end of your first episode, spending your second episode travelling with the crew, and in the third episode they dropped her off on a planet to settle down after her years in captivity.
The second episode was the most fun to film, because you got to be part of the crew for a while, and interacting with the other actors helped you forget Alexander’s permanent cold shoulder.
Just as you’d filmed your first scene first, you filmed your last scene last, and you travelled out on location for the scene, which was set on the planet of Atera.
Bethany said her goodbyes to the crew as they climbed aboard the ship to set off again, waiting on board as Lazarus stayed behind to speak to her alone.
“You’re sure you won’t come with us?” he asked. “There’s so much more to see out there.”
Bethany smiled sadly and nodded. “I’m sure. I need to figure out who I am outside of a cage before I go looking for adventure. But…”
She took his hand, which was soft again - did Alexander Dane moisturise?
“I’m very glad I met you, Lazarus. I thought I was alone in the universe, but… now I know you’re out there, I won’t feel so alone anymore.”
He looked at her searchingly, almost imploringly, as if looking for a last-minute way to convince her to stay.
“I’ll miss you,” Lazarus admitted.
“I’ll miss you too. Will you visit?”
“I want to… but we don’t often return where we’ve been.”
“Oh,” Bethany said sadly, glancing away, and your heart skipped a beat when Lazarus gently put an arm around her shoulder and pointed up at a constellation in the sky.
“That’s where we’re going. Always forward. So if you do miss me… just look up. That’s where I’ll be.”
Just look up. That’s where I’ll be. Alexander had been trying fruitlessly to convince Frank to take out that cheesy line, but it had been a losing battle.
Bethany craned her neck to look into the sky, then turned to look at Alexander next to her.
“Thank you for saving me.”
Lazarus looked down at her.
“My dear, I think you may well have saved me.”
Bethany kissed his cheek and smiled sweetly. Lazarus hesitated, but he let her go and made his way to the ship.
She waved him off, and when cut was called, you thought it curious how familiar kissing Alexander on the cheek felt, as if it were something you were completely comfortable with.
Perhaps you were getting too into character.
---
You were admittedly disappointed with how unceremoniously you left the studio. You had your cap removed in the usual awkward silence with Alexander, who just grunted at you when you said goodbye.
In the theatre, you knew straight away how people felt about your performance. You’d sometimes hear reactions in the moment; otherwise, you’d receive (or not) applause at the end, and reviews were online and in the papers the very next day.
Television was different. You had signed an NDA banning you from sharing details of your character or the storyline you’d been involved in. And the episode wouldn’t air for months, so you had no way of knowing how your performance would be received.
The other strange thing was that you could watch your own performance on TV along with everyone else.
Over the months since your week on set, you’d found a role as an understudy in a production of Sweeney Todd, and in between rehearsing for three different roles and occasionally even getting to perform them, you’d made some good friends with cast and crew members, all of whom supported one another’s various attempts to make a career in LA.
So when the day came that your first episode would air, you had your friends over to watch your episode with you, many of them also fans of the show, or if not they came anyway simply to support you.
You didn’t appear until the very end of the episode, Bethany’s getaway into the Protector with Lazarus and the rest of the crew acting as cliffhanger, but it was still an incredible experience to watch yourself, in full prosthetics, acting in Galaxy Quest with Alexander Dane - who, despite being a complete jackass, was still your favourite actor.
“Oh my god, I so ship them!” your friend Stephanie, who played Johanna, crooned as soon as the credits rolled. “[Y/n], please tell me you and Lazarus get together!”
“I can’t tell you what happens, you know that!” you replied, throwing your hands up in innocence. “By pain of death. Or, well, by pain of a big payment if I was responsible for any leaks, and I can not afford that.”
“Eiw, did you have to kiss Alexander Dane though?” Stephanie gagged.
“What do you mean, eiw?”
“He’s ancient!”
“He’s not! He’s 53.”
“Don’t bother, Steph, [Y/n]'s in lurrrrve with Alexander Dane,” scoffed Mike from costume, who’d found out about your crush when you’d bonded over a shared love of Galaxy Quest while he fitted you for your Mrs Lovett costume.
“I am not! I’ll have you know he was really rude to me all week we worked together. Hardly said a word to me. He’ll always be my favourite actor, but as a person? Hard pass.”
Perhaps that pass would be hard, because as it turned out, the fans loved your character. So much so that you were invited as a late addition guest at the Galaxy Quest convention in LA two weeks after your third and final episode had aired.
You gladly accepted - you were going to go anyway as an attendee, but as a guest? That was a much better option. You gave your ticket to Mike, who almost cried with jealousy that you were being invited as a guest.
You’d never been to the convention yourself before, as it was always in LA and you’d always lived in London, but you’d always followed the posts about it online, and you knew that the actors always went in their costumes, including Alexander wearing his cap. Would you be expected to do the same? You didn’t even have your costume anymore.
You arrived at the hotel on the Friday night and checked into the room you’d been given. The guests all had rooms on one floor, separated from fans, and your room was right at the end of the corridor - no doubt the last room available as you were invited so last minute.
You’d hardly begun to unpack your suitcase when you heard a knock on the door.
You opened it, your anxiety telling you that someone was about to tell you there’d been a mix up and you weren’t invited at all, but to your relief you recognised Lena, the make-up artist.
“There she is! Thought I’d bring this over and make sure you still fit.”
She held up a coat bag, no doubt containing your costume.
“You do costume now too?” you joked as you stepped aside to let her in.
“I do at things like this - cheaper for them to send me out on my own. Have you gained or lost any weight since filming?”
“Uh - I guess I might have lost some,” you said. “I don’t really keep an eye on it. But I’ve been doing a show so that keeps me in shape.”
“Ooh, which show you in?” Lena asked, and you told her about your time understudying in Sweeney Todd while she got you out of your clothes and into your costume.
“Aw, I’d love to see you in it some time! But I suppose you never know when you’ll be on, do you? That must be so hard learning all three roles. Gosh, look at you, you have lost weight! If we were filming I’d take the waist in a bit, but since we’re just here for the con, we can get away with it.”
“Am I gonna have to wear the head thing? I know Alexander always wears his.”
Lena scoffed. “Yeah, only to lower the risk of Galaxy Quest fans recognising him outside of the show. I got it with me if you want, but you don’t have to.”
You bit your lip and thought about it. You really didn’t want to wear it, but if Alexander was wearing his, you kind of felt like you should, in solidarity.
Then again, he didn’t care about your feelings, so why should you care about his?
“May I make a suggestion?” Lena asked.
“Absolutely not, you lowly make-up artist,” you scoffed.
Lena laughed. “You should wear it. Everyone’s still buzzing about Bethany, and since you’re so new to the scene people won’t recognise you without it yet. And it’ll be super cute if you and Alexander both wear it for your photo session! Here, let’s get you out of the costume for now, I’ll come back tomorrow to put it on you proper.”
“What photo session?” you asked as you turned around to let Lena take the costume apart.
“Haven’t you seen your schedule yet?”
“I had literally been here for five seconds when you knocked on the door. I haven’t even had a piss yet, let alone looked at my timetable.”
“You and Alexander have a double photo session in the afternoon. People pay $30 each for photos with you individually, or $50 for a pic with both of you.”
“Oh, bloody hell,” you sighed.
“That’s what he said too.”
“I’m surprised he even agreed to do it. He hates sharing the spotlight - although I suppose he doesn’t feel threatened by me. Still, I’m surprised he’d agree to spend any more time in my presence than he has to.”
“He doesn’t hate you, you know,” Lena told you as you stepped out of the costume and gratefully began putting your far more comfortable, human clothes on. “He’s just a miserable bastard. He quite likes you, actually.”
You scoffed.
“He hardly spoke to me all week during filming.”
“Maybe, but after you went home each day, he’d tell me how well you did in your scenes that day. And Gwen tells me he spoke highly of your performance after your episodes aired.”
“I’m surprised he watches the show.”
“He loves to watch himself. Right, that’s me done with you for tonight. The intro panel’s at 9 and I’ve gotta get Alexander’s cap on too, so I can come by at 7.30 with some breakfast and coffee to wake you up while I get you fitted. Sound good?”
“So long as the coffee’s strong and black, you can do anything you want to me.”
“Flirt.”
Lena winked at you and left, and with the promise of a 7.30 alien head thing fitting, you decided to get an early night.
---
No amount of black coffee could have prepared you for the convention.
You were shuffled through back corridors to behind the main stage at 8.45, where you found most of the main cast were waiting, all dressed in their costumes.
“Hey, it’s [Y/n]!” Guy said cheerily when he saw you. “Man, am I glad you’re here. This is my first con too, and I’m bricking it. I’ve been to loads before as a fan, obviously, but never as a guest. I’m so nervous!”
“Oh, er, me too,” you replied, a little taken aback by Guy’s enthusiasm so early in the morning. You glanced over at the others, and noticed one body missing. “Hey, where’s Jason?”
“Running late, of course,” grunted Alexander from the chair he was slouched in, looking as miserable as ever. “He’ll show up ten minutes late on purpose, all to get that extra round of applause.”
He didn’t even look up at you to say hello.
You turned to Guy.
“Hey, when they introduce us, d’you think we could go on at the same time? Then we can power through that terrifying first entrance together. I’m terrified of walking on stage after everyone else and getting crickets chirping.”
“Oh my god, me too!” Guy said with relief. “I’m so glad you said it. Yes, let’s do it.”
Alexander snorted derisively. “What, are you scared of walking on a stage?”
”This is a little different from a theatre show,” you retorted. “In the theatre, they applaud at the end, and they applaud based on your performance. Here they’re applauding us as people, and none of them know me. Or has it been so long you forgot what theatre bows are like?”
Alexander did look at you then, his eyes narrowed, as the others chortled at your dig.
“Remind me why she’s here?” he grumbled to no one in particular.
“Because we got about 200 emails last week asking if she’d be here,” replied the convention host, who decided now was a convenient time to walk in. “Right, you guys ready to go?”
The convention passed in a whirlwind. You were hurried from panel to signing to meet and greet with hardly a chance to breathe. You met hundreds of fans, whose names you scribbled alongside your signature then promptly forgot, and you took every chance you had to remind the fans you were talking to that you were one of them.
In the afternoon came your photo session with Alexander, and finally you got a moment of peace when you entered the room ten minutes before the fans were to be let in - although, you suspected, they were already lining up outside.
While the crew got the backdrop ready, you collapsed into a chair with a sigh of relief.
“You still have a day and a half to go, you know,” said a familiar voice.
You looked up to see Alexander leaning up against the wall, looking at you with amusement.
“I didn’t think so many people would want to see me,” you said honestly. “Sure I didn’t have a line like you guys had, but mine still didn’t stop. I think I’ve met more people this morning than I have in my entire life.
Alexander scoffed. “Yep, and they’ll be back tomorrow, expecting you to remember them all individually.”
“How many have asked you to say that line?”
“Too fucking many. How many have asked if you’re coming back?”
“Pretty much everyone.”
“What have you been telling them?”
“That Alexander Dane’s a twat and will probably refuse to work with me again.”
He laughed, but he didn’t deny it. He sighed, then came to sit by you.
“Look, I know I’m a twat. I’ll try to make this tolerable for you.”
“Gee, thanks. No one’s forcing you to do this with me. Couldn’t you have just said you didn’t wanna do a double shoot?”
“Actually… it was my idea.”
Now that surprised you. You looked at him questioningly, and he sighed.
“Look, Gwen always hates these things, alright? Blokes are always trying to touch her. It happens less when a man is there, as stupid as that is, so Jason or I usually do a double shoot with her.”
“And you thought they might do the same with me?”
Alexander shrugged. “Sure, why not? These basement dwellers don’t know how to act around a woman - add the fact you’re gorgeous and all hope is lost. So let me know if you’re uncomfortable, alright?”
You nodded, hoping Lena had caked you in enough make-up to hide your blush at the fact he’d called you gorgeous.
As it turned out, Alexander was right - fans really did have wandering hands. After the third narrowly avoided grope, you pulled Alexander aside before the next fan stepped up.
“Alex, that’s three guys who’ve tried to grab my arse already,” you whispered. “What do I do?”
“What? Who?”
Alexander looked around as if the groping fans might still be lingering, but they’d long been ushered away by event staff.
“I told you, [Y/n], you need to tell me when it happens.”
“What am I supposed to do? Shout ‘hey, everybody, this guy’s grabbing my arse’? That’s so embarrassing.”
Alexander thought for a moment.
“Alright, when it happens, you poke me with two fingers. I’ll pretend I noticed it myself.”
“Oh, planning non-verbal cues already, are we?” you joked, the words out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.
He snorted and rolled his eyes.
“Trust me, [Y/n] - if we fucked, I’d make sure you were very vocal.”
Your cheeks burned for the second time in that hour, but you had to push your sudden explicit thought about Alexander to the side, because you had two more hours to go of this torture.
Most of it went by without any more unwanted groping, but you were nearly at the end of the queue when one ball of sweat dressed in a very poorly made copy of Alexander’s costume placed his hand firmly on your rear.
You froze for a moment, then remembered to poke Alexander with two fingers. His head immediately whipped around and he looked down to see the fan’s hand far lower than it should be.
Alexander may be grumpy all the time, but there was a difference between grump and anger. He was never really angry unless he was acting - but he certainly wasn’t acting now.
You were fairly certain you didn’t even know half the swear words that came out of his mouth as he yelled at the fan. A brave staff member tried to intervene, but Alexander simply turned his vitriol to them, yelling at them for not making the event safer for female guests.
He ended his rant by ushering you along with him as he stormed out, and you felt a mixture of emotions - relief to be out of there, guilt for the fans still in line, and a bit (okay, maybe a lot) of arousal at Alexander defending you.
“Prats,” he cursed bitterly as the door closed behind you, leaving the two of you alone in the corridor. He turned to you. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied awkwardly, not really sure if you were being honest. “Thanks for, um, rescuing me.”
Alexander pursed his lips, his nostrils flaring as he shot a dark look back at the door.
“You got anything else on this afternoon?” he asked you.
“No, that was my last thing.”
“Do you want to go back to my room and raid the minibar? I usually get pissed on the agency’s credit card alone, but I guess you wouldn’t be the worst company.”
“That almost sounded like a compliment.”
“Make the most of it. Come on, I know a way upstairs we can go to avoid being seen.”
Alexander led you up to the floor you were all staying on, and you were halfway down the corridor to his room when your path was suddenly intercepted by Jane Doe, one of the new cast members for the reboot.
“Hello!” she announced cheerily, grinning at you both.
“Lal - er, Jane, what are you doing here?” Alexander said with confusion. “I thought you couldn’t make it this weekend.”
“It is my birthing day! We are having a party. You are coming too.”
Alexander glanced at you. “Oh - er - we’ll miss this one, actually. But happy… birthing day.”
He tried to step around her, but she simply followed his path, still grinning.
Apparently she was as strange as her character.
“You are coming!” Jane insisted.
She held something up in her hand and pressed a button, and your world went black.
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The Best News of Last Week - March 27, 2023
🐢 - Why did the 90-year-old tortoise become a father? Because he finally came out of his shell!
1. New Mexico governor signs bill ending juvenile life sentences without parole
New Mexico Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham has signed a bill into law that prevents juvenile offenders from receiving life sentences without eligibility for parole. The bill, known as the No Life Sentences for Juveniles Act, allows offenders who committed crimes under the age of 18 and received life sentences to be eligible for parole hearings 15 to 25 years into their sentences.
This legislation also applies to juveniles found guilty of first-degree murder, even if they were tried as adults. The move puts New Mexico in a group of at least 24 other states and Washington, DC, that have enacted similar measures following a 2021 Supreme Court ruling.
2. Promising pill completely eliminates cancer in 18 leukaemia patients
An experimental pill called revumenib has shown promise in curing terminal leukemia patients who were not responding to treatment in a long-awaited clinical trial in the United States. The drug works by inhibiting a specific protein called menin, which is involved in the machinery that gets hijacked by leukemia cells and causes normal blood cells to turn into cancerous ones.
The pill targets the most common mutation in acute myeloid leukemia, a gene called NPM1, and a less common fusion called KMT2A. The US Food and Drug Administration granted revumenib "breakthrough therapy designation" to fast-track its development and regulatory review based on the promising results of the trial.
3. Spain passes law against domestic animal abuse
Spain has passed a new law on animal welfare, accompanied by a reform of the penal code that increases prison sentences for those mistreating animals. The law will make compulsory training for dog owners, and will prohibit them from leaving their dogs alone for more than 24 hours.
It also mandates the sterilisation of cats, with exceptions for farms, and increases the penalties for mistreatment of animals to up to two years in prison, or three years in the event of aggravating circumstances.
4. Bravery medals for women who raced into 'rough, crazy' surf to save drowning girls
Elyse Partridge (far left) and Bella Broadley (far right) raced into dangerous surf to save Chloe and Violet from drowning.(ABC North Coast: Hannah Ross)
Bella Broadley and Elyse Partridge saved two 11-year-old girls from drowning at Angels Beach near Ballina, an unpatrolled beach in Australia. The younger girls, Chloe and Violet, became trapped in a rip and overwhelmed by waves and the current. Bella and Elyse jumped into action, using an esky lid as a flotation device to help them swim to the girls. Elyse helped Chloe back to shore while Bella swam further out to help Violet.
Elyse and Bella were on Wednesday named on the Governor General's Australian Bravery Decorations Honours List, which recognised 66 Australians for acts of bravery.
5. Almost every cat featured in viral Tik Tok posted by Kansas City animal shelter adopted
Let's find homes for the rest
youtube
6. A 90-year-old tortoise named Mr. Pickles just became a father of 3. It's a big 'dill'
These critically endangered tortoises are native to Madagascar and have seen their numbers decline due to over-collection for illegal sales on the black market. Captive breeding programs have helped produce new radiated tortoises, but the species still faces extinction in the wild.
That's why the arrival of these hatchlings, born to 90-year-old Mr. Pickles and his 53-year-old partner Mrs. Pickles, is such great news. Mr. Pickles is considered the most genetically valuable radiated tortoise in the Association of Zoos and Aquariums' Species Survival Plan, and the births represent a significant contribution to the survival of the species.
7. EU strikes ‘ground-breaking’ deal to cut maritime emissions
The European Parliament and EU ministers have agreed on a new law to cut emissions in the maritime sector. The law aims to reduce ship emissions by 2% as of 2025 and 80% as of 2050, covering greenhouse gas, methane, and nitrous oxide emissions.
The European Commission will review the law in 2028 and will decide whether to place carbon-cutting requirements on smaller ships. The agreement will also require containerships and passenger ships docking at major EU ports to plug into the on-shore power supply as of 2030. Penalties collected from those that fail to meet the targets will be allocated to projects focused on decarbonising the maritime sector.
- - - -
That's it for this week :)
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Buy me a coffee ❤️
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Humans Are Weird: Auditory Processing Disorder
Report # 306
Topic: Auditory Processing Disorder
APD: disorder of the auditory (hearing) system that causes a disruption in the way that an individual's brain understands what they are hearing.
Four days ago I was doing my monthly meeting with the electrical department, receiving updates on our monthly usage, needed parts, and checking up on general morale.
(The transcript of that meeting is already turned in.)
After the meeting we had refreshments and I discovered Lucy (previously mentioned in report #286) pouting in a corner. I inquired what was bothering her.
She said, "The ship's head medic just diagnosed me with APD but he wasn't trained to treat it." I asked for further information on the condition. She listed several of her personal symptoms.
"It means I don't always catch what people say. It feels like my brain doesn't want to listen. In one ear and out the other making me look stupid to however I talk to. It's connected to my misophonia, and the fact I was born really premature."
I was unsure how to comfort her so I made no effort. This seemed to work for Lucy kept speaking.
"And what's worse is there's nothing I can do! We don't have a speech therapist aboard or even any research materials! Its starting to affect my work performance. On top of decoding, hypersensitivity, and prosodic problems, I have integration issues which mean its really hard for me to focus on what people are saying when I'm doing something. Which freaking sucks when you're part of a team!"
I had no clue what she was really talking about but gave her a hug (human gesture of enveloping one in your arms as a sign of comfort or safety), and she apologized for "venting" to me.
She then spoke on how her crew mates just thought she was "slow" or wasn't good at her job. They questioned if she was capable because she would follow directions incorrectly and she was worried she'd be replaced with someone "less problematic". I tried to assure her that I would help anyway I could on her behalf. Never again will I doubt a human's sincerity.
After some of my own personal research I have made a list of the different types and their definitions for your education on the subject:
Hypersensitivity – Hypersensitivity to sound is often diagnosed as misophonia or hyperacusis. Misophonia is when people have adverse physical reactions to sounds, such as becoming nauseated by the sound of chewing or slurping. Hyperacusis, on the other hand, is characterized by a sensitivity to sounds. For some, this means that white noise can be deafening, even causing physical pain.
Decoding – Decoding difficulties involve a lack of figuring out words that are spoken. They hear the sounds, but their brains do not process them as words.
Integration – Integration applies to those who struggle to do multiple things while listening. Such multi-tasking may be writing notes and listening, or having conversations while typing an email.
Prosodic – Prosodic refers to people who have trouble with tone, inflection, and implied meaning. A question and exclamation are processed identically in their brains. Their speech is also often monotone.
Organizational – Finally, organizational, or output, is often characterized by not recalling information in a specific order or having difficulty with noisy situations.
Honestly, Humans are so diverse and unpredictable. To think that different "problems" or " abnormalities " within their mind or body can lead to even more similar issues astounds me. They are so intricate in a way my species has never been. Despite the struggles that their disorders, and conditions being, I think it's strangely beautiful. Maybe that's just me, but I have a new appreciation for them.
I am requesting the presence of a speech therapist, whether physically or digitally, to be readily available to our crew. We must also add APD onto our medics research requirements. It is not an overly complicated subject to be fluent in. I also request that Lucy's diagnoses be added to her list of wrongful termination along with her gender, age, and race. No one should feel their position is at risk because of a disorder or disability. I also request that a written copy of daily instruction be printed for her if necessary. She is one of our best electricians and I mean to keep her employed here as long as she wants.
Human Observer #5743
#humans are weird#humans are space orcs#APD#auditory processing disorder#its an educational one folks#Lucy#Human Observer#Human observer5743#Lucy is back#space#science fiction#sci fi#aliens#hope you like this one guys
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Like okay imagine you are a human child growing up with a vampire mother. You don't know any other humans like you - not because humans don't exist, but because they're all locked up. And although your mother is keeping you hidden, the majority of society is just vampires. Then one day you find out the truth - the vampires are in fact eating (from) the humans, and they would probably eat you too, given the chance. This is a horror movie scenario -
But! The vampires technically don't have a choice in this - human blood is the only thing they can eat. There's not enough humans that would willingly give up blood, so they have to "farm" them just so that they can survive. Some of them even try their best to care for the humans - like your mom, and some humans like their vampire caretakers. They've never even lived without a vampire to care for them, so they might not even know how to! Sure, there's also the bad apples, those who only see humans as food and nothing more, but isn't there always?
Nonetheless - both good and bad are draining humans of their lifeforce and taking away their freedom, that is a fact. The kid decides that because of the circumstances making them the only one capable of it, they need to save the other humans and get far away from the vampires. ...Also they have a magical vampire killing m20 bazooka 👍 So up against individual vampires they are way overpowered, really. They kill vampires like slicing through butter.
The issue here is too complex to say that anyone is wrong. Both sides are doing what they're doing not out of pleasure, but to be able to survive and feel safe. There is no possible middle ground. Vampires live, at the cost of humanity being enslaved and milked for blood. Or humans get to live (safely), but the vampires starve.
And we could apply it to the world in an even larger metaphor or take it at face value, doesn't really matter. Humans and vampires might look alike, might be just as smart and good with words and have similar needs, but ultimately one of them living is dependent on the other suffering. So can you possibly say that one deserves to live more than the other? That one has more of a right to hurt the other to protect their own species?
Anyway yes this is about Trigun. And how Millions Knives maybe wasn't right but he sure also wasn't wrong
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I just wanted to check - there are albino corns, right? I know there are Snows and Blizzard morphs. Snake Discovery did a corn snake hatching vid recently and seemed to think there were no albino corn snakes, so I was a little confused. (They also didn't know the difference between Tessera, Motley, and Stripe though so I think they are just generally uninformed)
Hey friend!
I think the source of confusion here is that the term "albino" is a colloquialism developed for humans that doesn't totally work for reptiles.
The root Latin word, albus, just means "white." The term albino was originally coined by Portuguese and Spanish colonizers (boooo!) to refer to the children of Black slaves who were born without melanin. It then went on to describe any animal without pigment, particularly the black pigment melanin, which resulted in white hair, pink skin, and pink or very light blue eyes.
As science marched on and we gained a better understanding of how genetics and pigment work, we came to realize that there are multiple pigments at play in most animals. Even humans, whose main pigment is melanin, have two different kinds of melanin which result in the rich diversity of skin tones across the human species! Albinism works as a descriptor for humans because we only have melanin, but it falls apart fast when we start applying it to other forms of life.
So in corn snakes there are three main pigments: melanin (black), erythrin (red), and xanthin (yellow).
An amelanistic, or Amel, corn snake is by definition an "albino" with no melanin and red eyes. But they look like this:
That doesn't exactly look white...
If we're looking for white snakes to call albino, a Snow corn snake has amelanism and anerythrism in combination, but they still have yellow xanthin pigment. A Blizzard, on the other hand, is a combination of amelanism and a slightly different mutation called Charcoal that removes both erythrin and xanthin. By the original intent of the word, a Blizzard would probably be an "albino" but a Snow might not fit the bill. Or might, depending on who's deciding, since they technically lack melanin!
To bring up another example of pigment mutations, leucism is the absence of all pigment, not just melanin. This mutation is most commonly found in birds and reptiles. Leucism and albinism look similar, and the mutations do similar things from a "looking at animals on the outside" perspective, but they're genetically distinct from each other!
It falls into semantics and discourse, so I think the easiest way to go about it is to think of albinism as a blanket term to describe a range of genetic color morphs found in mammals, but not a scientific description of what's actually happening. We could probably skip using it to describe reptiles because even when it's technically applicable, it's not the whole story.
I'll end this by saying that YouTubers in general are entertainers, not educators, and I don't think I'd take anything any of them say seriously unless they're providing references. Snakes are a huge and diverse group of lifeforms, and even if one were to know every detail there is to know about one species, that knowledge may only tenuously apply to even a similar-looking species.
This is exactly why exotics veterinarians are expensive and why you should treat them very kindly and with a great deal of respect.
#snake#snakes#reptile#reptiles#reptiblr#corn snake#corn snakes#corn snake morphs#albinism#zoology#biology#answers to questions#text post#long post#oh i'm sorry did you want an answer here have a novel
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Okay I'm gonna be a bit crazy on the main tag and share a theory
I think Beebs tried applying for Civil service but couldn't because of his... History
I think it went like this
He was studying/training for it and he was about to be accepted
Something... Tragic happened. The "accident" where he lost his limbs? That might or might not have been his fault. But he was charged for it
He was no longer able to apply because he has a criminal record now?
We've seen a couple of times that he's ready and prone to help and protect people, it's just something in his nature
Also he's very quick to adapting to other species' customs or societies, or their biology. Like being respectful to Punti, and being surprisingly chill when he was communicating with the Agari's phantom.
It would explain the speech he gave before attacking Us, it'd be something that he learned from his training
Maybe his glove which is a similar blue to Killix' uniform and his multi-tool?
Now I don't have evidence for this last point but it's giving me vibes okay. I think he might have been banished from his home planet for what happened in the accident, too.
We barely know anything about Walrinian culture, but I figure their tusks are important. At least with real walruses, tusks are a form of status. I think him removing his tusks (or possibly having them removed against his will?) could be a sign of dishonor.
Or maybe he just lost them in the accident and he just filed them down. But either way, the Symbolism is still there. He no longer has a connection with his home planet and culture.
Beebs strikes me as someone who knows what it's like to lose it all, and he really doesn't want it to happen again, so he plays it very safe with everything he does. Like for example how he wants to slowly build up on the Monkey Wrench company
And I'm willing to say he's taking this approach with Shrike's friendship too.
He's the opposite to Shrike, he dislikes risk. I think it was this accident or... Whatever happened that shaped him into what he's like today. And it would make this conversation with Us make more sense.
If all of this is right (or close), that means he's lost so much. The majority of his limbs, the direction he was going to take with his life as a civil servant, possibly the link to his family and his culture. All of this happening so quickly might have motivated him to...
Yeah.
#I told you it was gonna turn into a character analysis#monkey wrench#monkey wrench theory#beebs#bulldog browns#bulldog fucking browns man#the civil servant line. makes me insane.#it's in the first 5 seconds i CAN mention it#toasted texts
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