#think of my blog as a highlight reel. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rufusx2 · 2 months

Text

dear anon (though i do know who you are, so i'm writing this with you in mind):

this is true, nothing you have said is something i would necessarily disagree with. the post is satirical and the longer work is about my own flawed thinking (though i will likely not post it in it's entirety until it is done, all of my meowing is just for snippets, though i understand that it can come across as strange or concerning if you are unaware of this as i have not posted my blog organization anywhere. in fact, the on;y posts of mine UNRELATED to my main bodies of work, my songwriting, are the photo posts organized under "#blinks").

this is the purpose of using language like "flawed in the right way"- i know my own lines of thinking are most definitely caused by societal problems, and they are not productive nor based in logic. even my blog header ("you delicate, precious, dying thing!") is supposed to bring to mind the "ideal" female body as being delicate and starved (which is a bad thing for people with a brain... but not for the narrator!). being born "right" (or "rightwrong" as i tend to refer to it, which is just a heavyhanded way of pointing out that calling yourself "born right" is flawed thinking) is not an actual thing, though i cannot help but loop back into this logic of "if only i had been born as somebody else" forgetting, of course, that i will only ever be myself. i focus on my own female form (and wishing to have been born differently) as a manifestation of poor body image (weight related) and self hatred (in terms of personality). if i had the power to be born differently, a "better" person, my brain (or i guess *I* would, i use "my brain" as a way of distancing myself from my own bad thoughts which is probably not helping the problem) would make this person male- the point is that not only is the premise impossible, but being a "better" person is impossible if you completely change yourself, and using this line of logic we can see that the CONCLUSIONS myself, or rather, the narrator of the piece of writing, (if i'm to be neutral and detached and pretend that it's NOT me saying all this), are also incorrect, and impossible regardless which makes dwelling upon them pointless in the first place. it's a futile line of thinking, and every word is clouded through a thick layer of rosy haze. i would even be inclined to at some points call it christocentric... this is why i used "wwjd" in a sarcastic way in some of my posts (that may or may not be publicly visible yet due to my queue system). take that how you will.

calling the female form flawed was not a way of thinking that the reader/listener is supposed to agree with (though again, it is a disembodied snippet, so of course you wouldn't know this upon reading so i don't blame you for not picking up on it. i am fine! i know there is nothing wrong with my body. and yet... i feel my own mind needling at me). i wouldn't exactly say that my writings are explicitly feminist, because that implies a conscious agenda and explicit political messaging when really it's all just personal anecdotes, but since i would describe myself as being a feminist i think the undertones bleed through. or at least, i hope they will when i do eventually release more.

i know i can never have what i want, and i know that what i want is NOT rational, or good, and is entirely based in heteropatriarchal ideas, but i can't help myself and i need to confront that desire frankly in order to identify it. you can't exactly get a good look at yourself if you close your eyes when you approach the mirror, and this is how i feel about ignoring these thoughts. i cannot pretend that i do not feel this way, and i dont really think it services anyone to pretend i always feel positively about my body. wallowing in them isn't always helpful for the wallow-er, but it perhaps CAN be for a witness who doesn't realize that they are not alone in their way of existing. there are many ways to be, in this body, and others like it, and while negativity is a symptom of a larger problem i have to be honest about it.

#i wont respond to the ask directly because of the wording (not your fault) and because its mainly my fault for not being clear enough #i dont really expect anybody to see these. its mainly an archive blog for my own writing process. usually im copy-pasting from a google doc #i write music to go along with it. but the music isnt good enough yet so you cannot have the full context of the work just yet...#eventually though. i have to share it before i die because it will not exist otherwse. and that is sad to me!#so sit tight or dont. not sure if you will ever see this since im not actually responding directly #meowing back #i think thats a cute ask tag. im keeping it #a rare cutting open of my own chest for the internet. but only because you were being earnest about it #im kind of lying about the purpose of the larger work though it is about gender transition in some parts but it would take #WAY longer for me to properly explain that and i fear it would be misunderstood by anybody who ISNT you (anon) or me #you know where im coming from and i can see you too. so i hope you can understand what i mean when i bring that up #i cannot be angry at the dysphoric person... i am not her. but i am her. we are the same and different.#this will make more sense once i expand upon it but again its not done cooking yet so youll have to trust me #think of my blog as a highlight reel.

0 notes

stuckinapril · 2 months

Text

I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point

#I joined tumblr for the aesthetics and now I’m here bc it’s the most low pressure social media to be on #Instagram is ppl’s highlight reel but Tumblr is where u see their pure thoughts unobstructed and I adore that #It’s very nice to have people to relate to and is def the main appeal to me but I don’t think there’s much more to it than that genuinely #Monetization on tumblr isn’t a thing and probably won’t be so it feels stupid to put more stake than necessary in it. Like you’re in the #Trenches over tumblr of all things. Embarrassing #I know chronically online people exist bc I have seen them in my or somebody else’s inbox but imagine waking up at 70 one day and the #Realization hitting u like a freight time that u wasted all ur time thinking tumblr. TUMBLR. This dying website. Has enough weight for u to #be sending anon hate or reviewing ppl’s blogs like they’re some kind of product. Brother this is licherally tumblr #I choose to laugh at this behavior than take it seriously bc absolutely no one is driving me crazy on my OWN blog. On tumblr dot com.#I refuse #I will do whatever I want forever etc

3K notes · View notes

v-arbellanaris · 1 year

Note

PLEASE share about the Cullen Cult Arc

sighs. this is my second time writing this post ;~; literally why does the autosave option exist if tumblr doesnt actually bother to autosave anything, i dont fucking get it.

this is going to be much briefer than the original post i wrote because im still REELING over how tumblr just ate the entire fucking post. its fucking gone. and idk if i have the energy or mental capacity rn to rewrite the whole thing. basically, this arc - which is the arc i developed for him in vee verse - is the arc i think cullen should've had in dai.

firstly, i'm not retconning anything he said or did in dao or da2. this is because those things serve a narrative purpose. cullen is a good templar - that's the entire crux of the problem. he exists in these two games as a narrative tool; he represents the views of the chantry. as such, anything you do with his character arc cannot be divorced from the reality of the mage/templar conflicts, and the glaring issues of the chantry and must, actually, address and involve those things, because cullen is a product of his surroundings. i'm not saying this to minimise or give him excuses for anything he's said or done, but that is made true for him by his very positioning in the narrative as being the chantry's voice. for most of my playthroughs, which lean pro-mage, cullen is an antagonistic force - he has to say and do horrific things, and it would be stupid for me to retcon the horrible things he did.

secondly, my main issue comes from his writing in dai - probably to no one's surprise. i am not unopposed to having a redemption arc for him in dai - this is villain-fucking the blog, sorry not sorry - but the problem is that he does not have one. to have a redemption arc, the following two things needs to happen:

the realisation/acknowledgement/knowledge/whatever that he caused harm to people with his actions/inactions

addressing the False Belief that he has embraced that has previously justified his harmful actions/inactions in order to accept the Truth (this is just basic character narrative construction).

and dai fails to do both of these because the writing team in inquisition is physically incapable of admitting the chantry is wrong and has done wrong and will continue to do wrong. they are physically incapable of looking at fucked up power dynamics and clear cases of oppression and not going "but what if the oppressed people. wanted to be oppressed. NEEDED to be oppressed, even."

which leaves his character arc - whether you want to consider it redemptive or not - confusing. he's trying to shake a lyrium addiction? sure, okay. but why is he addicted to lyrium? why is being addicted to regular ol' lyrium bad? it's not blue lyrium that killed meredith, it's not blue lyrium that corypheus and samson are using.

you get confusing things like cullen's entire character arc being centered around lyrium addiction... but no one seems to give a shit if the inquisitor takes lyrium and becomes a templar, except cullen. you get confusing things like cullen's entire character arc being centered around recovering from lyrium addiction and the templar route in dai and you get to the scene where all the templars get their lyrium draughts. the ceremony and chanting and celebration around getting the lyrium, when barris takes his draught, which is frankly revolting. but it highlights the inconsistency - lyrium, this scene tells us, is good. because the templars are good, and they use it for good. yet cullen's entire arc is about overcoming his lyrium addiction, but don't worry!!!! templars are still good and lyrium is still good. its fucking INCOHERENT!!!!!!

he is addicted to lyrium because that is how the chantry maintains absolute control over its templars. it is a mind-altering substance that causes paranoia, which the chantry specifically takes advantage of and feeds with their all mages are inherently dangerous rhetoric, which is a false rhetoric, as i've pointed out before. but instead of acknowledging any of that, dai's writing goes "lyrium is Bad because [mumble mumble] and its So Important that he doesn't take it so that [mumble mumble]".

because the story is physically incapable of uttering anything even vaguely critical of the chantry.

so, this covers my main issue with his writing in dai. i would ideally try to fix it - without retconning anything he did in dao or in da2. this is what the cullen cult recovery arc is referring to.

i'm not going to go into it in too much detail but the templar order - inclusive of the seekers - fits a lot of the parameters of a cult. specifically, the BITE model, but also this checklist, and a whole bunch of other parameters i found when researching into cults for this specific reason. (which. makes sense. seeing how the orlesian chantry is was also technically a religious cult that becomes the main religion of the lands by actively slaughtering all the other sects)

but what's particularly interesting about it specifically is that, in-world, no one else seems to think it's a cult. for all of cullen's views, he is not the extreme end in da2 - alrik is. meredith is. what's particularly disturbing to me about cullen's point of view is that because he's a product of his environment, because he's a narrative tool representing the chantry's views, cullen's opinions and actions are actually a normality test. people in thedas don't find cullen's views repulsive because most average joes in thedas agree with him. i think it's easy to forget cullen isn't the outlier in-universe - we are.

but, canonically speaking, this is what happens: cullen, like most good antagonists getting a redemption set up, misses his chance to Embrace Change at the end of da2. he sides with meredith too late for it to matter or make a difference - mages (who you learn on the templar route, he's not exactly eager to kill) who he's supposed to protect are already dead. but what happens in kirkwall shakes him to his core and he looks to leave the order entirely - a good step.

the problem is that he leaves the order to join the inquisition. the inquisition, which is headed by the left and right hands of the divine. the right hand of the divine is a seeker herself. the inquisition is spearheaded and justified by the divine, who he has been trained for most his adult life to be subservient to. the divine who formed the inquisition to replace the templar order and hired him to essentially train and recreate the order.

worse, still. no one thinks he did anything wrong. kinloch was not his fault, it was the fault of greagoir and the older templars who were simply not vigilant enough, meredith told him. how he acted to keep order in the circle and the city after the viscount was executed is admirable, cassandra tells him. he was only following orders, leliana admits grudgingly, he stood up for what was right when meredith went too far. no one thinks he did anything wrong, because he is a good templar. because all the atrocities he committed were not committed against people - they were committed against mages, who are not people, not like you and me.

cullen hops from one cult to the next. the inquisition is the exact same thing he's always done and known, just repackaged - quite literally, considering the inquisition's symbol. but canonically, he thinks it's something different. he wants it to be different.

it's not, though.

so, the thought process behind my thoughts for him boils down to this: how does he get the language to describe exactly why this is wrong? how does he get the language to describe why it matters, why it's important, that he hurt real people? how does he get past the Lie that he believes - that he has to be a good templar, to stop anything like kinloch from happening again, since kinloch happened because they weren't vigilant enough, because they were too sympathetic to mages?

his arc shouldn't have just been about overcoming lyrium addiction. his arc should have been a story about recovering from being part of a hate group, a story about recovering from part of a cult.

there's several ways to go about it, i think. and if you want to specifically know how i'm going to do it, you guys should encourage me to write vee verse 😌

#asks #vee rewrites da #admittedly i cheated a bit but i gotta leave SOMETHING for the fic!!!!#cullen critical #just in case #bioware critical #dai critical

378 notes · View notes

angry-geno-is-score · 1 month

Note

I know youre primarily a lars/dunn blog but i need to share a sid/geno headcannon thats been rattling around in my brain:

Enemies to lovers AU sid/geno where they meet at world juniors. And sid is appalled by geno. Sid is very much serious about hockey. He is god's favorite child whos cursed with the ability to be insanely good at hockey. Its what hes poured his blood, sweat, and tears into. Meanwhile geno is just so happy to be there, laughing and joking around during warm ups. Sid interrupts genos good mood as not taking it seriously.

It doesnt help that he leads russia to destroy team canada. Sid is shooting him death glares and scowling at geno the whole time. Meanwhile geno catches his eye and blows kisses as he cellys with his team.

And afterwards, sid swears him off and says he hates him. So what if he watches genos highlight reels? No one needs to know.

So imagine sid's horror when not only does pittsburgh DRAFT geno but also mario graciously opens his home to geno while he adjusts to living in america.

(Sid ofc objects to this one night over dinner but mario shuts that down immediately with "future captains are humble and kind to new players, no matter who they are" while sid grumbles and picks at his food)

So not only does geno move in, he moves in to the room directly across from sid's.

And one weekend while mario is out of town (he volun-told sid to have some team bonding with geno and watch a movie together) sid and geno are sitting on sids too small couch in his room to watch some stupid movie.

Sid stares stubbornly at the tv, fuming in disbelief mario is making him hang out with the guy who embarrassed sid. And he tries to ignore how he keeps catching geno staring at him from the corner of his eye and how theyre so close their thighs are touching.

Eventually sid snaps and turns and asks geno if theres a problem. Geno just traces sids cheek down to his lips and whispers "pretty" and leans in to kiss sid.

And when Sid wakes up the next morning in bed next to geno, he stares up at the ceiling and realizes just how screwed he is.

(Bonus: they sneak around for a few months, stolen kisses and hidden touches. Not that sid thinks mario would disapprove but no way sid is telling his hero that hes sleeping with the enemy. Meanwhile marios known since the first few weeks when he happens to run home to quickly grab something he forgot and looks out the window in the kitchen to see geno and sid sloppily making out and groping in the pool)

I am primarily larsdunn but BOY do I have time to entertain sidgeno (and mattdrai) and BOY OH BOY is this an idea to entertain! I definitely don't have the WIP space to work on something like this (despite my stupid muse whispering that we absolutely do) but I love the idea!! "Mario not only knows about sidgeno but actively encourages it/is part of the reason it exists" is like my favorite trope EVER. I could definitely envision some fun with this XD

If anyone else wants to take this idea and run with it, be my guest :D I only ask that you tag me so I can scream about it excitedly.

#sidgeno #hrpf things #anon asks #fic ideas

23 notes · View notes

crybaby-bkg · 2 years

Text

“Just keep looking at the tv, don’t even pay me any mind.” Your voice is a gentle whisper in Bakugou’s ear, sweet and thick like honey sliding into his canal to stick to his brain. He feels fuzzy like this, with his eyes low and his hands laying limp beside his legs. He wants to move, to say something, look at you, acknowledge you, but you only keep his pretty face turned to the low lit television screen.

“Does it feel good? Yeah?” You ask him, mouth pressed against his skin as you drape yourself around him. You’re everywhere—in his brain, your perfume in his nose, your hand shoved down his pants. You’ve been stroking him for an antagonizing time now, slow and steady, firm and hard, twisting your wrist like that so you can force the precum to leak from his slit and down your soft knuckles.

He can only grunt under his breath, forcing his eyes to stay on the hero highlight reels that has been playing on loop for far too long now. But he knows that if he takes his eyes off, you’ll stop, squeeze his base until his incoming orgasm is abated, and start back over, just as slow. He can only take the torture for so long.

“That’s my good boy, huh?” You smirk against him, pressing a chaste kiss to the column of his throat, chuckling when he angles his neck for you to kiss him more. “Finally learning something right in that empty little head of yours.”

If you keep talking to him like that, he thinks he might cum all over himself and your hand. But you encourage it, whisper filth into his ear, keep jerking his cock the way you know he likes until he has to squeeze his eyes close and whimper under his breath. After all, what better way to treat a hero after a long, grueling day of work?

minors/blank/ageless blogs dni

#idk what this is but I thought about it and wanted to share lol #I also had something else about giving him the silent treatment #but I was like omg I’ve talked about that so much now but this idea was so cute #I might still write it #is it forbidden to write about non knktober things during October #sorry if it is lmfao #okay I’m gonna go write the other thing and then dip so I can catch up on fics 🏃🏼#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬

804 notes · View notes

thedevillionaire · 1 month

Note

Anon-ing: yeah, I wanna echo several people here in saying that your writing is BLAZINGLY hot while also squarely hitting the Domestic Caretaking Buttons every time. In particular I love (LOVE) (LOOOOOOVE) that you have a fully fleshed-out universe with a cast of thousands in which it’s all situated, because that is SUCH CATNIP. I think you’d be surprised by how many of us are following your “vanilla” blog about this universe.

I also want to commend you for being such a lovely and perceptive cheerleader of other people’s writing. ROCK ON

😮💘OMG. Omg omg omg + some flailing. Ahh, anon, thank you so, SO much for this. For the wonderful compliments on my writing and its world , oh...I just... Ah, jeez. The Underworld is the fiction that ate my life, and I've got so mad at it (a lot) over the fucking so many years I've known it for (a) not allowing me to ever successfully/ lastingly come up with anything else, and (b) ALSO not being marketable in any real sense, a fair bit of which is to do with my personal inability to actually write a sensible, linear, full-length novel instead of The Constant Highlights Reel (Feat. Sneezing, Probably), and yet...and yet I also love the fuck out of it, and so in this stupid sexy vicious circle I remain. That anybody else reads it and enjoys it is incredible, and a genuine absolute. fucking. delight. And I gasped at the vanilla blog mention. Holy shit, really? Really? Ahh, ffs, I'm crying again.

THANK YOU. Above and beyond, thank you.

#anon asks #omg omg #I went to bed last night on a ridiculous high from yesterday's asks #and to wake up to...more?#what?! i'm even MORE spoiled?#i'm the embodiment of “i can't even” right now #wow #And reading others' works here is PURE PLEASURE for me #a very best thing always

7 notes · View notes

jae-bummer · 1 year

Text

My Idol 3: Part Two

My Idol From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Saturday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in a specific mission to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what four idols will move on to the second date.

My Idol 3: The Series

In the history of My Idol, you didn't think you had ever seen someone genuinely excited about doing a mission before. Often times, contestants tended to dread the red envelopes, with some even refusing to open them. Jungkook, on the other hand, seemed almost more excited for this than anything you had discussed so far.

"To be honest," you grinned. "I thought the real adventure started when Yoongi was instilling a healthy amount of fear into all of us."

"Yeah," Jungkook cringed. "That wasn't part of the plan."

"What exactly was the plan?"

"Well..." he trailed, running a hand over the back of his neck. "He wouldn't tell me. He just said he was going to handle a few things."

"And that didn't set off any alarms?" you laughed.

Jungkook broke into a smile before shaking his head. "You try questioning him and see how far you get."

Directing your attention back to the task at hand, it was hard not to be enthusiastic when Jungkook was. Sliding a finger under the seal, he peeled the envelope open with a small pop. Grinning fiendishly, he slid the contents out and began to read.

"The healthiest relationships are those where you're a team! Grab a cold lunchbox at random and microwave it for the instructed time. While the timer is ticking, divide and conquer getting the rest of your snacks!"

"That doesn't sound too bad," you said quietly, suspicious as to why you got such an attainable mission.

"There's a second card," Jungkook hummed, waving it before reading. "See below for your shopping list. Confirm you have the correct brand and item before the timer runs out. Happy snacking!"

Looking over Jungkook's shoulder, your jaw dropped. The list of snacks had to have been 20 items long. You hadn't even heard of some of them before.

Glancing up at you, Jungkook smirked. "We're going to kill this."

"I hate to be pessimistic," you cringed. "But I don't even know what half of these things are."

"Okay," he said, furrowing his brows as he scanned the list. "We'll split the list in half. I'll take the ones you're not sure about."

"Oh," you breathed a sigh of relief. "You're familiar with everything then?"

"Nope," he grinned. "But I've got the spirit to make up for it."

It hadn't taken long for the two of you to split up the list and finalize a game plan. The only thing you hadn't been able to factor in was the time you would be allotted, or how to navigate other people shopping at the convenience store.

You looked nervously from the cold lunch boxes to Jungkook. His expression was soft as he gazed at you. "Hey, we'll be able to do this, okay?"

"And what if we don't?" you grumbled. You knew the probability of succeeding at every mission given by My Idol was slim, but you weren't looking forward to any of the penalties. You had already made yourself look silly enough in your audition video, there didn't need to be another highlight reel of embaressing moments.

"If we don't, it'll be my fault," he grinned. "Just worry about your part. You're going to do great."

You felt your heart stutter as you appraised him. Jungkook was so open and giving with his words and emotions. Not once had he made you feel uncomfortable or unwanted. You knew this experience was new for the both of you, but you were clearly out of your depth. Coming into this, you felt like you were drowning, but Jungkook proved to be an increasingly proficient swimmer.

"Do you want to pick?" he asked, finally looking away to you and toward the meals.

You chuckled uneasily. "I trust you."

"Might be your downfall," he joked, reaching in and grabbing what looked to be a pretty involved meal set. Checking for any sort of instructions, he let out a hiss. "Two minutes."

"That's fine," you nodded, trying to pump yourself up. "Two minutes. A whole 120 seconds. That's a lot of time."

"You're right," he said, nodding as well. Crossing the aisle, he began to remove some of the plastic packaging before popping the food into one of the available microwaves. "I believe in us."

Shutting the door, his fingers hovered above the numbers before he thought better of it. Dropping his hand to his side, he moved back toward you, grabbing your wrist instead.

"Wha-" you managed as he shuffled you toward the counter.

Lifting your hand with his, he smiled. "We'll do it together."

Letting out a soft huff of amusement, you allowed him to navigate your fingers toward the "Start" button. "Together."

Your breath was ragged as the microwave beeped loudly across the convenience store. Stopping just short of running into you, Jungkook grinned wildly in your direction, his eyes lit with excitement.

"We did it," he said, his voice gravelly. "We did the damn thing."

You laughed, looking at his now haphazard hair. Reaching up, you flattened a few strands back into his ponytail. The small movement caused him to go incredibly still, his eyes darting around your face before looking away. Once fixed, you took a step back, only to see him zoned out and biting his lip.

"Do you really think we got everything?" you whispered. Looking from his basket to yours, you were relieved to see quite a few snacks in both.

"If we didn't, we definitely got close," he murmured. "I'm proud of us either way."

A more lovely man simply did not exist. You were sure of it.

It wasn't long before the production crew seized your baskets and began analyzing everything. You were too nervous to speak, so you remained anxiously silent as you watched them.

"It looks like everything is here," one of the producers confirmed. "...besides the tuna and kimchi kimbap."

"What!" you and Jungkook gasped in unison. You thought back to your mad dash. That one was on your list, and you were certain you had grabbed it.

"It's not here," the producer sighed, pulling a red envelope from the back of his jeans.

"Wait, wait, wait," Jungkook said, stepping forward. "Let me look."

"We already looked at everything," another producer piped in. "It's not there."

"Then you'll have no problem letting me look too," he asserted, his hands already picking through the snacks. Sitting each one on the table in the order they were written, he paused. Looking over his shoulder at you, he smirked. "Found it."

When the producers were checking everything, it looked like the baskets had only been shuffled through. You watched with pride as Jungkook pulled the kimbap out from under the baked eggs.

"Oh," the producer said numbly. Stuffing the envelope back into his pocket, he sighed. "Well done."

"Well done," you muttered. You were going to have to keep a close eye on them.

"Now, to celebrate," Jungkook grinned, his nose scrunching. "Let's go go go!"

Settling into one of the plastic tables outside of the 7-Eleven, you assisted Jungkook with spreading out your winnings. You took turns going back and forth to heat up various things, but it didn't take long before you sat side by side.

"Mmmm," Jungkook groaned, taking a bite of the hot bar you had just set in front of him. "I haven't had one of these in forever."

"Not enough time?" you asked, taking a bite as well when he offered it to you.

"I order in a lot," he nodded. "I don't really like leaving my apartment."

You furrowed your brow as you chewed thoughtfully. "Why not?"

Heaving a sigh, Jungkook glanced up at the cameras before looking back at you. "Things can get a little crazy when you're a..."

"Idol?" you supplied. "Celebrity?"

"Something like that."

"Right,' you said slowly. Of course he treasured his privacy. He had so little of it. "But I'm curious, if you like to keep to yourself, why sign up for My Idol?"

"Why'd you sign up?" he shot back quickly with a teasing tone.

"I asked you first," you smirked.

Smiling in return, Jungkook resumed picking through the food. "I've realized that since I became an adult, I've gotten really introverted. It's hard to meet people when you're locked behind a door with your pets all day. I had some talks with friends, and they all thought this experience would be good for me."

You supposed you could appreciate that. "It's a chance for you to grow then?"

"Mmm," he hummed, mid chew. "In a way. I want to grow as a person, but it would be nice to grow with someone as well. You'll have to understand, I haven't really been "alone" since I was 15, so it's a double-edged sword. I crave that comfort, but at the same time, I've been burned by people who I thought I could trust."

"It's hard to be vulnerable," you nodded. "This is a chance to do that while also keeping rails around it."

"Exactly," he grinned. "I wasn't going to crawl out of my hole unless I felt safe to some extent.

Now, what about you? What made you submit your audition tape?"

"Alcohol," you laughed. "And a friend who said I needed to live a little."

"I think our friends would like each other then," he chuckled. "Both sat in front of a 7-Eleven because we were peer pressured to go on the highest stakes blind date possible."

"Hey, the 7-Eleven has been fabulous," you hummed. "And it's sentimental to you."

Looking over his shoulder, Jungkook gazed fondly at the building. "It really is. There's nothing like the feeling of practicing for eight hours and then stumbling down the street for some ramen."

"Eight hours?" you croaked.

"I was an underachiever, really."

You quickly narrowed your eyes at him, but immediately realized he was joking. Letting out a small huff, you shook your head. "How were your leg muscles even willing to make the trip after all of that?"

"It wasn't great," he winced. "But I was young and running off of the feeling of just belonging to something. When my members would be too tired to come out, I'd offer to carry them. Many a piggyback ride happened on the way to this place."

You tried to picture it. Jungkook who was barely a teenager and the slightly older teenagers who were made to raise him. They worked as hard as their bodies would allow until they finally got some recognition. They were sent catapulting into fame only to work harder than they ever had. There was something admirable about the journey to become an idol, but there was no way you could ever push yourself as hard as them. It took a special type of dedication.

You looked at Jungkook, assessing his features as he snacked. There was still so much of his youth in his adult features. While his softness had changed into hard edges, that child-like light never left his eyes. That mischievous tug never fell from his lips. The world had tried to beat him down so many times (and that's only what you saw on the tabloids.) Each time though, he picked himself back up and tried again.

You felt your chest give a tug. He really was someone you could grow close to if given the right circumstances.

Glancing up, his eyes caught yours. Smiling shyly, he dabbed at his mouth with a napkin. "Is there something on my face?"

"Oh," you squeaked. "Oh, no."

He leaned in close to you as if to share a secret. "You were supposed to say "Yes, Jungkook, there's beauty dripping everywhere."

You let out a surprised laugh as he crinkled his nose. "How silly of me! Here, let me help you."

Grabbing for his napkin, you began to dab his face playfully. "I'm worried that when I'm done, there won't be anything left to look at!"

Jungkook was erupting into full on giggles at this point, smacking your hands lightly as they roamed around his cheeks.

"Maybe if I took some for myself," you murmured, dabbing the paper on either side of your face. "I'll be as good looking as you."

"You already are," he said, breathless from laughing.

Getting caught on an exhale, you stilled. "Yeah, okay."

"Seriously!" he smiled, reaching up to boop your nose. "Sure, you might have things that you consider imperfections, but they give you character. I like looking at you."

You laughed through your nose. "I like looking at you too, Jungkook."

"That's as good as a declaration of love!" he gasped. "Move me on to the second round!"

"I'm not exactly sure that that's how it works," you sighed. "But nice try."

Jungkook looked down with a small smile. "I really would like to make it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he continued, still not looking at you. "I've had so much fun. And now I know you enough to make me want to know you even more."

"Hey," you chimed, setting your hand lightly atop of his. "You will be a very hard act to follow."

"You think so?" he smirked, finally looking up. "Maybe I should have taken you somewhere more special. Something the viewers-"

"Nope," you cut in. "This place of full of memories that you actually wanted to share. That's not easy when you're giving a small piece of your world to a stranger."

"It is a small piece of my world," he affirmed. "And it's been nice to be able to come back. I was worried it may have turned into something else by now. Thank you for taking care of that memory for me."

"No more talk about the next rounds or what viewers will think," you nodded. "Only talk about what's on your mind and show me pictures of your dog."

This would be the part of the show where the cameras cut away and come back to a montage of you and Jungkook laughing together, the two of you crowded around his phone, or tossing food into each other's mouths. You could almost see the editing as the time ticked by. While your conversation remained light and silly, it was so beneficial in getting to know the person you were expected to form a connection with.

Before you could even realize, hours had flown by. Glancing up in a daze, you realized the producers had been signaling for the two of you to wrap things up. Looking from the camera crew and back to you, Jungkook smiled sadly. "I don't think I want this night to end."

Ruffling his hair now that it had long ago abandoned his ponytail, you stood. "The sun is going to come up pretty soon and end it for us."

Jungkook nodded as he pulled himself to his feet as well. Wrapping his arm around you, he tucked you neatly into his side before strolling slowly toward the My Idol SUVs. You felt completely drunk without a single drop of alcohol coursing through your system. The two of you had entered your own little bubble, sprinkled with magic, and the promise of new beginnings.

"Even if I don't make it, we'll have to do this again," his voice cut through your thoughts.

You looked up at him with wide eyes. The implication of that sentence immediately sent your mind reeling to the previous two seasons.

"No, no, no," he said quickly, spinning you by the shoulders to face him. "Not like that. Just...spending time with you. It's been damn near therapeutic. I don't want to let that go. Whether it's as friends or something more."

"Oh," you breathed, your shoulders relaxing.

"I hope you had as much fun as I did," he smiled. "You did, right? If not, lying is acceptable. I'm fragile."

"I had a great time," you laughed. "It's been a treat getting to know you, Jungkook."

"You were better than any snack," he continued, his eyes dancing with amusement. "Well, maybe not the choco pies. Not much is better than choco pies."

"Understood and no offense taken," you grinned. "I'll see you soon."

"Soon," he confirmed, pulling you into his arms and wrapping them tightly around your waist. Setting his chin on the top of your head, he let out a sigh.

You took a deep breath in, trying to let yourself be surrounded by all things Jungkook. Although you had spent hours outside, he still smelled lightly floral. Pressed to his chest, you had never felt so warm and secure.

Finally pulling away, the loss of Jungkook's body was a stark one. You could've stayed in his arms for much longer, but you would still be unhappy when you had to let go.

Opening the car door for you, he provided his hand to grasp and ease your way in. Plopping on the seat, you turned to face him. "Thanks for tonight."

"I should be thanking you," he said quietly. Before you could realize what he was doing, he placed a soft kiss on your cheek. You sat in silence as he took a few steps back and shut the door.

Your hand immediately flew up to your face, gingerly touching the area of skin that now felt like it was on fire. Looking out the window, you smiled as he gave a small wave. Before you could return it, the driver steered away.

You sat on the feeling for a moment, trying your hardest to take everything in. Jungkook felt like a schoolyard friend that you had a crush on and were finally getting to act on it. It was that elated feeling of liking someone and finding out that they liked you back.

If you already had this level of warm and fuzzy from a man you just met, what would happen on your next six dates?

"Get it together, Y/N," you muttered, watching the 7-Eleven fade behind you. "You're just getting started."

To Be Continued.

#bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jungkook #kookie #bts jk #jungkook sluff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts au #bts x you

36 notes · View notes

kragehund-est · 6 months

Text

highlight reel:

"stop policing my blog, also you're not allowed to rb my additions to your posts"

"i'm going to lay out my specific interpretation of tumblr etiquette like a tutorial, as though you havent been here since the hetalia fans"

"i didn't think this was real and also i don't see why these stereotypes are bad so i wrote 2 paragraphs talking about that. why are you annoyed that i went on a rant on your post?"

"i agree with your post except for all these points you made, well actually i guess i do agree with some of them but you should have come up with better examples so i didn't misunderstand."

"i know my points sound really out of touch and sexist, but actually i was just clarifying to make people understand me. even though my explanations made everything more confusing and annoying for everyone."

"*nitpicks the minutiae for the 40th time*"

"i have autism so im bad at interpreting what others say as well as getting my own point across, but this is what it sounds like you mean and you need to talk like this instead"

"don't cause drama, just dm people next time. wasn't it so much less drama for me to nitpick your every word for 2 hours straight?"

#i don't think you're a bad person #but you need to get a grip

11 notes · View notes

rays-of-fire-and-ice · 2 years

Text

BLEACH: The Thousand Year Blood War Ep 1 Thoughts and Reactions

Overall reaction:

^ I was each of these guys at some point while watching the episode

WE'RE BACK! WE'RE ACTUALLY BAAAACK!

Highlights:

Seeing the Karakura gang back together in Ichigo's room: I got emotional, and teared up for the second time! It's just so nice to have all these character back on the screen together, and when you think about where this is all going to go...they;re in for a rough one.

The Kick TM: he really shouldn't have stood on Ichigo's bed.

Everyone getting their chance to show off their powers: this is probably my favourite moment in the whole episode. Chad and Orihime got to have a good moments, Uryu's fight was absolute hype and I can't get over how incredible it looks, and Ichigo...when he screamed 'BANKAI!' I cried, you cried, we all cried. Absolutely stunning visuals and animation for that entire scene, I loved it and I've gone back and watched it more than once.

The declaration of war: this scene couldn't have been adapted any better, it was downright perfect! From the suddenness of Chojiro's death to the reflection in the Quincy's helmets to the explosion of flames from Yamamoto, it was stunning!

The end credits sequence: the highlight reel to end all highlight reels, this was such a nice touch! I was already emotional, but this just made me start crying AGAIN! I mentioned in a tag before, but when they showed the clip of Hitsugaya and Hinamori from 293, I screamed. And then the Ginran section that came after, I sobbed...I was not prepared!

I'm almost speechless. I can't believe we're actually here. We have a new anime, the fandom is back, and BLEACH is trending on social media. It comes back with a punch and a half, with a stunning visual style, some amazing animation, and a good pace for the first episode. I can't get over the detail and style in some of these scene. I mean just look at this shot of the Wandenrich's helmet:

Look, maybe I'm alone in this, but I just love the detail of a reflection in the helmet. It's something they could have left out, just make it that the helmets don't have a reflection and are just a blank surface. The reflection not only makes for a more visually appealing shot, it adds something to these characters who's faces we can't see. The fact such a violent death and the head of all the Shinigami is reflected on their helmets emphasizes just how dangerous these guys are. They've gone for the jugular of Yamamoto, and Chojiro's death is just the first of many violent events yet to come. All that from a reflection on a helmet! (I know, it's just me over-analyzing ^^; )

Another thing worth bringing up is cut content. The majority of scenes and moments cut seem to be comedic ones, and I think this is actually a good move. While hope a few of these moments get incorporated down the line, making the first episode primarily a serious one really sets the tone for this arc. This is a war, not some shounen protagonist going to fight the big bad and win, not some tournament arc, not some colourful battle anime, this is going to be rough. For me, TYBW is BLEACH's darkest arc, chock full of character deaths and near-deaths, violent battles, and character moments that are dark and shocking when you think more about them. This is also reflected in the colouring, with darker shades in the character designs and darker lighting, setting a somber mood for what's to come.

And now to get needlessly sentimental!

I'll preface this by saying BLEACH was one of the first anime I got into while I was in high school and has held a special place in my heart ever since. It was for the latter reason alone I continued to keep this blog running, even when I had [gradually] stopped loving the series after the manga ended. Also, it helped that I had some of the most amazing followers a blog could ask for, you all encouraged me to keep reblogging BLEACH and writing for it.

After watching this episode and realising how much I missed seeing these characters, I am in love with this series again. A part of me feels like I'm a teen again, binging through the episodes and coming to love the characters, and another part of me is looking forward to revisiting this arc as if it were the first time I'm seeing it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go lie down, the hype has completely sapped me of energy.

This is seriously me right now...so happy though!

#bleach #ichigo kurosaki #chad #uryu ishida #orihime inoue #HYPE HYPE HYPE!#WHAT A FANTASTIC START #bleach episode reactions

69 notes · View notes