#things are hard. but im making good progress. i just gotta hold onto that. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

monaisdark · 3 years

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AHHHH! I loved your virgin shiggy post, I was wondering if you could make a part two with reader giving shigaraki a tit-fuck in an empty classroom, with degradation kink, and exhibition kink! I'm sorry if this too horny - Anon ♥♥

haha.. im back i guess. Its been a couple weeks but i have some time to start writing again :)) checking my inbox, i did NOT expect this many people wanting a pt2 to my virgin shiggy post. prolly my fault for holding it off for so long :/ so i made it longer than i planned but count this a thanks for 200+ followers!! <3 anyways i really need to catch up on my inbox but expect more from me !!

➨ paring — Virgin! (not anymore) Tomura Shigaraki x Fem! Bully! Reader

➨ warnings — Sub! Shigaraki, Dom! Reader, mommy kink, slight masturbation, humiliation, degradation, begging, exhibition, tit-fucking, hand-job, cum denial

PART 1

Shigaraki messed up. It’s been a week. A week since you cornered him in a room and took his virginity.

He still remembers what you told him when you left— “Take a shower tomorrow. Also wear a different top for god’s sake. If you do... I might let you touch me.”

Shigaraki beat himself over for agreeing to it as soon as he got home. You were his bully. One of the people making his school experience even more unbearable than it already was.

Yet he completely was undone as soon as you placed your hands on him, and you knew it. He just didn’t know what you wanted.

Dick? No, you were pretty and popular— you could probably get some from more desirable guys. To bully him? Sure, you said mean things to him during the encounter but the bullying was always around your friends.

For a whole school week, he stayed home. Making up some bullshit to the school that he had the flu. Frankly, he was scared to go. How was he supposed to face you?

Did you tell anyone? Secretly record it? Was he currently the laughing stock of the entire school for begging to continue to fuck you?

But even away from school, you had an effect on him. He’s still a horny guy. Now, jerking off wasn’t the same anymore, not when he had some taste of pussy thanks to you.

Shigaraki would always end up thinking back to you, even with porn he couldn’t get you out of his head. His hands clamping around his cock weren’t the same as your pussy, same with the bodies of other women.

He found himself indulging into mommy kink porn, something he didn’t really get off from before you. Shigaraki pretend it was you talking to him, bouncing onto his lap and letting him touch you.

But after a bit— Shigaraki found it going no where, they weren’t you.

Cursing, he would always finish early. And not in a good way. In a way where he was left unsatisfied. Putting his painfully hard cock back into his sweats and trying to sleep his horny-ness away.

Shigaraki realized he needed you, you talking to him, you around his cock. Now, he regretted not sticking to his word. But he’ll make it up for you.

You were quite mad. Shigaraki hasn’t been to school since that day. How ungrateful, you literally let him put his dick in you and now he ghosts you in real life.

You fully expected him to be at school the next day with the way he begged you to stay, clean and ready for you. So imagine your annoyance in seeing him not show up for several days.

But today was different, the newly ex-virgin actually showed up. To your surprise, he still did more than you expected him to do despite being a week late.

Shigaraki had changed his hoodie to a whole new one, it looked recently bought. As well as his hair, looking more soft than greasy like it typically was. Though he didn’t style it, it still overhanging on his face.

Still, he definitely looked a lot better, not enough for others to notice but enough for you to smirk at your work.

Both of you didn’t interact with each other besides a few glances until lunch. You guys sat on completely different ends of the cafeteria, him sitting in a small corner table while you sat in a large one.

Shigaraki looked fidgety, meekly looking up every few minutes to watch you interact with your friends. He was waiting for school to end, planning to catch you at the same empty classroom you took his virginity in.

Though you had completely other plans.

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” You got up from your table, grabbing your bag from off the floor. “To?” One of your friends asked, not looking up from their phone.

“Some nerd, he’s gonna do my homework we got last period. Apparently, his parents found out he’s been doing our homework and now he's gotta do them during lunch. Gotta make sure they do it right.” You lied through your teeth, hoping they would just back off.

They didn’t look up, instead pulling their homework worksheet out of their binder with one hand, putting it in yours, “Get him to do mine.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the paper, “Yeah.” You walked away, crumbling the paper to throw it in the trash. You’ll just say you lost it. Not like they’ll do anything about it.

Narrowed eyes landed on Shigaraki, his eyes currently focused on his phone. You strudded your way to him, smirking to yourself.

Shigaraki almost jumped when he felt something brush against his leg. Looking up, he was met with you sitting down next to him.

“Hey.” You said, placing your bag on the table and putting your last period’s homework on the table.

“You’re good at chemistry, right?” You questioned, shifting through your bag for something to write with.

“...Well— I... um...—“ Shigaraki stuttered, unsure of what was currently going on.

“Great.” You pulled the phone out of his clammy hands, replacing it with a pencil. “...What?” He tilted his head, was this a joke? Did you completely forget about a week ago?

“Hm...? Well, get onto it.” You uttered him on, putting your chin in your hands, eyeing him. Reluctantly, he looked back to paper, beginning to work on it.

After around 5 minutes, you brushed against him even more, getting close to his side. “What does that say?” You pushed yourself further into his side, your chest touching his arms.

Shigaraki cursed himself for already becoming red, he pants tightening around his crotch as last week flashed into his head again.

“Um... m-mole is a unit of measur— Hmph!“ He held back a loud whine when your right hand traveled to his crotch.

“What— what are you doing?” He asked under his breath, holding back small whimpers as you palmed him, “Where have you been?” You questioned sternly, upset he kept you waiting.

“I’m sorry... I got sick.” He bluffed, it was too embarrassing to admit he was scared. With how he left you hanging, he expected people to be laughing at him the moment he stepped onto school grounds.

“Sick? A whole week?” You hummed, you could already tell he was lying. Still, you were proud that he even bothered to make it up to you by fixing himself up.

“With your diet of energy drinks and chips, I’m surprised you’re not dead.” You decided to let it go, he was just nervous to show up.

Yet you think he deserves a bit of punishment.

Shigaraki felt heavy as you teased the zipper of his jeans. He immediately tensed, “Wait— now..?” He saw you narrow your eyes, “Something wrong?”

“There’s people here!” He whispered yelled, flinching as he felt you unzip his jeans ever so slowly, trailing your finger along his exposed boxers.

“So? You’re just some loser in the corner, nobody will notice if you aren’t obvious.”

Shigaraki could already feel pre-cum form at his tip, staining his boxers a bit. You giggled a bit, feeling the dampness of his boxers. “Already?” Shigaraki shook his head, “I... I haven’t came since... that day.”

You laughed a bit louder than you expected to, good thing the cafeteria was already loud. “How sweet of you. Couldn’t get it on?”

Shigaraki focused his eyes on your paper, muffled moans caught at the back of his throat as you freed his cock from his boxers.

Now slowly pumping him, Shigaraki dropped the pen of the table. He wanted to do something with his hands, to touch you.

He moved his hand to your thigh, but of course, you didn’t allow him, “You’re too eager. Get back to work.” You ordered. Shigaraki was about to question you but you stopped him with stroking his cock faster.

Both of you continued this way for a bit, him answering questions with his shaky hands while you jerked him off.

Shigaraki could’ve sworn he felt eyes on him a couple of times, yet every time he looked up, nobody was even batting an eye in his direction.

He could feel his cock twitch at the excitement of being caught. How would they explain one of the most popular girls giving an outcast a hand-job under the table?

As he got to the last question— he was already drooling on the paper, mouth clenched shut to avoid moaning and panting to be let out.

You could tell he was about to cum, the writing on the paper progressively getting sloppier as time went on. “M-mommy...” Shigaraki whispered just enough for you to hear, “Hmm, you want to cum?”

He nodded furiously, he was extremely pent up and needed release. And just as he thought, you were the only one who can give it to him.

Shigaraki whimpered when you pulled away, looking up at the clock and collecting your stuff. “Then after school, room 204. Actually listen and show up when I tell you this time.”

You walked away just in time for the bell to go off, signifying that lunch was over. Leaving Shigaraki, once again, a mess.

Here he was again, feeling nostalgic as you walked into the empty classroom. Shigaraki easily grew again while anticipating this, the tent prominent in his jeans.

“Y’know, good job for showering and changing.” You gave him praise, Shigaraki turning red from your words. “This... this means I can touch you, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah. I actually keep promises.” He ignored the jab at him, it didn’t matter how mean you were— he was going to touch you finally.

Shigaraki awkwardly shuffled towards you, raising his hands up to look at you with wide eyes. He slowly paced a hand on your boobs, trying to see if this was just some test and you’ll get mad at him.

When he didn’t get anything back, he immediately started to dough on your clothed breast, cupping them. Then, he moved to unbutton your shirt, already seeing you thought ahead and took off your bra before coming here.

He fully took off your shirt, not wasting time on latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, both hands playing with your breasts. Shigaraki was basically humping your leg, sucking your nipples like a baby.

You giggled a bit, patting his head. He looked up at you with a clouded look, pure joy in his eyes as he finally got to touch you.

Looking back down at him, another idea popped up— you already took his virginity and gave him his first hand-job, whats another one of his firsts? “Shigaraki, do you want to feel really good?” He unlatched from your nipple, “I can be inside you?”

“No.” He frowned a bit, but perked up when you trailed your fingers on his boxers. “What if I put this,” You pointed at your boobs, “In between these?”

Shigaraki was already down, eagerly sitting on a desk while you got on your knees. He freed his cock, putting it in between your slick pushed together breasts, thanks to his sucking earlier.

You wasted no time on stroking it up and down with your breasts. He moaned feeling the softness of the valley between your chest, your breasts around his cock giving him warmth as you stimulated him.

Shigaraki was definitely feeling great, you even let him bend down and grab your breasts to control the speed of the tit-job.

Though, Shigaraki wanted more. You were giving him all these things, a hand-job, a tit-fuck. He’s been inside you once and he didn’t get to do what he wanted in the first place. To cum inside his mommy.

He feels a knot grow in his lower abdomen, but he doesn’t wanna cum yet. Instead, he pulled himself away from you, much to your confusion.

“What? You literally were about to cum and I was gonna let you!” You groaned, getting up as Shigaraki faced you.

“...Mommy, can I fuck you?”

“No, you didn’t come to school for a whole week. If you really wanted to you would have showed up.”

Shigaraki turned red, sputtering as he held onto your arm, “Please! I just want you cum inside you.” He whined, tears pricking at the chance of not getting to have sex with you after all this time.

You looked at him stoned faced as he begged, even falling to his knees dramatically to add to his desperation. “Fucking virgins, man.”

Shigaraki felt himself be pushed down, your skirt and panties on the floor. You straddled onto his length, moans filling the room quickly.

“Yes! Thank you, thank you, mommy!” Shigaraki thrusted his hips into yours, feeling even more over-joyed when he was allowed to touch your chest while you were on top of him this time.

Shigaraki desperately missed this, now he remembers why his hand didn’t compare to your tight pussy after trying to jerk off. He found his own rhythm quickly, muffled ‘mommy’s due to his mouth on your breasts.

“I’m doing this because you cleaned up, if you didn’t I would’ve left you to your own sad-ass devices already.” You lied, honestly, you hated the idea what he possibly was ignoring you by not showing up to school.

Even then, you’ve grown a bit found of him. His body, his expressions, his voice, everything really. It didn’t bother you as much when you saw his still messy hair, you were just glad to see him.

Though, you’d never admit it. Instead, it showed through the way you were tightening around his cock, panting as he moaned into and out your body. Shigaraki very quickly wrapped his arms around you, both of you on the edge.

“Fuck— Shigaraki. Cum, cum for mommy, okay?” You ordered, Shigaraki more than ready to fulfill it.

“Ah, thank you! Thank you, mommy! I’m gonna cum inside you!” Both of you rided out your highs, Shigaraki filling you so much it started to drip outside your full cunt.

He fell on top of you despite you initially being on top, you wanted to scold him but honestly couldn’t bring yourself to right now.

The room quieted down, the only words being exchanged were by Shigaraki softly muttering “Thank you, mommy.” into your neck

#sub shigaraki #tomura shiragaki #dark fic #dom reader #dark #bully reader #fem reader #tw degradation #tw humiliation #tw mommy kink #bnha smut #bnha x reader #x reader #shigaraki x reader #mommy

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shigarakislittlepet · 3 years

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im so happy to find a blog with good nsfw content for literally all my faves lol we share the same braincell it seems! how about fluffy nsfw headcanons for Dabi, Shigi, Aizawa and Shinsou and well, Baku but I don't want to overwhelm you even if you don't have a character limit hhh, with a s/o that was completely inexperienced in sex before they got together? They grew more comfortable with the idea of sex over time as they used to be really shy about it but they're scared they'll mess up and disappoint their loves? If possible could you mention what kind of approach each boy would have for the first time with their virgin s/o? I'm just feeling some fluffy dick tonite ya know lol stay safe out there <3

Ohhhh my gosh, this whole thing gave me brain rot lmao, thank you for giving me this power <3<3<3

This also took me literal months to finish because life got crazy, so I’m sorry about that. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

TW: loss of virginity, gentelness, fluffy smut, unprotected sex bc I’m a whore (Y/N is on birth control), and as always all characters are adults especially Y/N

-Dabi-

> You are surprised by how patient he is with you. You were sure he’d have gotten tired of waiting, but he didn’t push. He didn’t make you feel badly about it, and the last thing he would ever want to do to sweet little innocent angel is coerce them into something they weren’t ready for. So, he waits.

> It happened so gradually. Over time, light kissing became making out. After a few months, you got more comfortable and it didn’t feel at all odd to fall into bed with him, cuddling and “swapping spit” as he called it, which always made you giggle like a schoolgirl at his crudeness. His hands would test the waters, but he was always feeling for nervous tremors and flinching, never wanting to go further than you were comfortable. At first, he only rested a hand on you lower back, drawing lazy circles into your waist, his other cradling your face gently, reassuringly. Eventually he could get his hand beneath your shirt, still just at your lower back, but he was content with his progress. Your skin was soft and you said he felt warm, and that was the first time he ever thought of his quirk as “sweet, comforting”, as you described the warmth from his hands.

> After a few months went by, he had progressed to the point of being able to freely roam your body with his hands, the warmth helping you stay calm and anchored to him.

> What continued to surprise you is how easy it felt, once you were ready. You didn’t even see it coming. He asked you, so gently, if he could take your shirt off. You told him he could as long as he promised to keep you warm. He went along slowly, constantly reassuring you, “God Angel, you’re so beautiful. I gotta see more of you, can I? Please?”, “You’re so soft, I need to feel more of your skin, angel, please?” You didn’t even hesitate, you didn’t need to. You felt safer with him than you ever had in your life.

> You realized, once you were both naked together, just how comfortable you were with him. And suddenly you felt like you needed to give him everything he ever wanted, and you knew he would do the same for you.

> It happens so slowly, or at least, it feels like it does. His hand slowly grazes down between your bodies until he reaches your core. You gasp, no one but you had ever touched you there, and it feels so foreign and wonderful. And warm. Once you begin bucking onto his fingers, an insatiable grin stretches across his face. He retracts his fingers, bringing them to his lips, and you watch as he sucks them clean. He calls you delicious and rolls on top of you, asks you if you’re ready for him. For the first time, you look down between your bodies and see just how huge and hard he is for you. When he sees your concern he kisses your forehead, then your lips. “I won’t hurt you Angel, I promise.” You nod and smile, and he starts easing into you, stopping every so often when he can tell the stretch is too much. He kisses your cheeks, your shoulders, your lips, whatever he can get his mouth on as he pants and mumbles little praises. “I love you”, “You’re doin’ so well”, “You’re takin’ me sooo well”, “God, you’re so beautiful, you know how beautiful you are Angel?”, “Ahh, you’re so fuckin’ tight and wet for me Angel, you want me that badly?”. The praises and teases help you considerably to keep you relaxed, and fuck, you DO want him. So fucking badly, you need him. When he’s finally seated inside you fully, he waits, clearly using every last bit of his restraint and self control to give you time to adjust. When you finally whine and buck your hips up on him, he loses it. “I hope you’re fuckin’ ready, Angel.”

>You find rather quickly that Dabi’s style is a beautiful mix of “fucking” and “making love”. He fucks you, hard and deep, so much so that it makes you see stars, but while he does it he’s caging you in-between his arms, holding you close while he pistons in and out of you. He looks you in the eyes, watching your reactions, quickly finding what angle makes you convulse and let out those beautiful moans and coos that he’s now desperate to hear.

>When he nears his end, he reaches down between you again to rub sweet circles against your clit, because no way is Dabi cumming first. It’s just not his style.

-Shigaraki-

>BRAIN ROT

> Shigaraki is definitely happy that you’re inexperienced, he’d kill anyone who had ever laid a hand on you before him. You belonged to him.

> It also means that you’re a virgin, which really gets him going because hes a pervert. ((He’s also secretly glad that he’s not the only virgin))

> He is touch starvvveeeeddddddd. We all know this. But at first, he’s so hesitant to touch you, for fear of destroying you.

> You are patient with each other, and together you find out what works and what doesn’t. He got some artist gloves so he could hold your fucking hand without hyperventilating about dusting you. He’s still afraid of you disappearing beneath his fingertips.

> You were never, not even for a second, worried that he would hurt you. You knew that he could, that he had the ability, but you knew that he wouldn’t.

> He wasn’t so sure, he was afraid of rolling over in the night and finding a pile of dust where you used to be. He wakes up from nightmares about it and has to wake you up to hold you while he shakes uncontrollably. He just has to know you’re alive.

> You both get more and more comfortable with physical proximity and contact together, because you both wanted it, you were both just so worried about fucking everything up.

> When the time came where both of you decided you were ready to have sex, you admitted to him that you were afraid of not measuring up to his expectations. All these “what if’s” kept popping up in your mind: “what if he doesn’t find my body attractive enough”, “what if I don’t know how to move right”, “what if I cant please him”, etc. etc. etc.

> He just looks at you kind of taken aback and confused. He was worried about you not being able to see him as sexually attractive because of how he looked, he was just as self-conscious as you. “Darling, you’re the most perfect person in existence, how can you not see that? Look at me! I’m... I... Look like this! How could I ever hope that someone as beautiful as you could ever see me that way?”

>You didn’t immediately know how to respond. You were... heartbroken that he saw himself that way. You couldn’t image him being self-conscious about anything because in your eyes, he was a god. He was perfect and angelic and you told him as much. You looked at him with such adorably big eyes and your voice was full of so much honesty and adoration, he had to have you immediately. He’d never felt desired, he had never felt lovable. He always thought it would be a miracle if anyone would ever be able to even stomach looking at him without cringing away in disgust. But you were so perfect and you loved him so immediately and so much that it knocked him out. He launches himself at you and just kisses you for a while.

> You both fumbled around a bit at first, trying to find what felt best. You both quickly came to the conclusion that you were going to have to practice together. A lot. As much as possible actually, because even in your inexperience, you both felt more amazing than you ever had in your lives. When you were connected like this, panting, kissing, licking, trying your damndest to become one being, it felt like bliss. You never wanted it to stop.

-Aizawa-

> MORE FUCKING BRAIN ROT

> Aizawa has an innocence kink. There I fucking said it.

> When it comes to the person he’s with, he’s a shameless flirt, and while he would NEVER cross a line or pressure you, he definitely does his best to get you in the mood whenever he can, much to your naïve frustration.

> At first you genuinely don’t even realize he’s doing it on purpose. The heated looks he gave you that made your knees weak? You didn’t think he was doing that on purpose, it’s just because he’s... tired? And he always looks so gorgeous, so that’s why. He ALWAYS makes your knees weak. Yeah that’s all it is, obviously.

> And when he comes up behind you, hands on your hips gently, and lowly rumbling in your ear. Sometimes it’s just comments about whatever you’re doing, which was bad enough. But sometimes it was mumbled compliments. About your outfit, how good it made your ass look. About how soft your hair was, how good you smelled, the softness of your skin while he gently rubbed his stubble against your neck.

>YOU COULDN’T FUCKING HANDLE IT.

> He was so soft most of the time, cuddling you while watching movies, cooking together, dancing in the kitchen with you at 3 in the morning after he finished grading papers. The shift that happened when he would get flirtatious was dizzying.

> You were nervous though, Aizawa was a bit older than you, and obviously way more experienced that you. One night while you were curled up in bed together, you told him you were nervous about disappointing him when the time finally came. He sat up and turned a light on immediately and pulled you into his lap. He held you and stroked your hair and told you how much you meant to him, how you could never disappoint him, how much he wanted you, and how he was willing to wait however long you needed. He held you until he was sure you felt better about it, and then he held you until he was sure you were asleep. You were the most important person in the world to him, and he wasn’t gonna let you think anything was ever gonna change that.

> When you finally got tired of his teasing and felt like you were ready, you decided to get him back. Before he got home, you put on one of his long shirts as a dress and started getting dinner ready.

> When he walked through the door and saw that you were wearing nothing but one of his black button ups, he had to maintain every ounce of his self control to contain the rush of feral need that suddenly consumed him. Now it was HIS turn to assume you were being innocent. And man did you play it up. “What’s wrong Shota? Are you feeling okay?” And you bat your big beautiful eyes at him. He was going to have a stroke.

> It wasn’t until you bent over and he noticed you weren’t wearing anything under his shirt that he realized it was an invitation. He came up behind you, caging you in against the counter, and growled lowly in your ear, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?” He gently pushed his growing erection against your ass, making you gasp. Score.

> “W-what do you mean?” you looked up at him as innocently as you could. He took your hand and pressed it to the front of his pants. He groaned low in his chest, thankful for any friction. “Don’t play dumb with me, kitten. You know exactly what you’re doing. I think you should take responsibility.” You grinned.

> “Yes Sir,” he jolts at that, and you sink your knees and get to work undoing the fastenings on his hero costume. When his cock springs free, you eagerly give it kitten licks until he’s had enough. He grips you by your hair and gently guides your mouth down onto his cock. He’s big, bigger than you can take, but that doesn’t stop Aizawa from purposefully making you gag on him every so often. He really does get off on how innocent you are, the tears that hang in your eyes from gagging on his cock. He’s gonna cum soon if he’s not careful.

> After he’s had his fun making you suck him off, he pulls you up and carries you off to bed. No way he’s taking your virginity on the floor, he’s too much of a gentleman. And dinner, what dinner? Thank god nothing happened to be on the stove or in the oven.

> He sets you down in bed and kisses you, takes his shirt off of you and finishes ridding himself of his hero costume. He takes pride in getting you ready for him, relishing in your sweet noises and how wet you are for him. A fact that he teases you about. “S-Shotaaa~” you moan and clench down on his fingers. He smirks, “What happened to ‘Sir’, hmm? I liked that, you know...” All you can do is whine up at him in response.

> When you feel like you’re close to cumming, you whine louder and clench down harder and before you can reach your peak, he stops. You whine in frustration before he leans down and rumbles, “Oh no, kitten, the only way you’re cumming is if you cum on my cock.” You gasp and nearly convulse at his filthy words, but you’ve never felt like you needed him more.

> He fucks you gently, at first anyway. For as long as he can. He rolls his hips into you and angles his thrusts expertly, aiming for that spot inside you that’ll make your head spin. And he hits it. Every time. And your head DOES spin. And soon you can feel the pressure build again and you start whining again, “Sh-Shouta, please! I’m s-oh! So close!” He smiles, and decides to take pity on you. He pistons harder, faster, brings a hand to your core to rub circles against your clit and when you cum, you scream his name and he can’t take it anymore. He slams into you, chasing his own high and simultaneously extends yours. You’re seeing stars by the time he cums deep into you. He rolls over, bringing you with him. You lie on top of him and he strokes your hair, and you just hold each other for a while.

-Shinso-

> I wanna say this now, Shinso is Aizawa Jr. I’m so sorry, but its true. They’re both tired, overworked, cat lovers that just wanna come home and cuddle and pass out.

> He knows he’s your first boyfriend. You met at UA and pretty much bonded immediately. Now that you’re both pro-heros working for the same agency? It was only a matter of time before he made a move. And thank whatever higher power exists that you have the same schedule. More time for cuddles.

> HOWEVER! Don’t let the fact that he’s a cuddle-bug fool you. He frequently has to remember that you’re a virgin and you’ve never been in a relationship before, so you have no idea how much he’s affected by you answering your door on a Saturday morning you both had off wearing one of his hoodies that absolutely swallows you. Looking up at him smiling and yawning sleepily, rubbing one of your eyes and groggily asking, “What are you doing here so early? I thought we weren’t going out till tonight?”. He has to breathe deeply to stop himself from jumping you.

> Because much like Aizawa, seeing you so sleepy and soft and small and knowing how innocent and naive you are to all of the things you do that make him need you... is going to make him lose his mind. Quickly.

> Instead of an innocence kink though, this motherfucker has a corruption and a mind break kink. He wants to make it impossible for you to feel pleasure without him, he wants to make you need him desperately, forever. And he wants to do it without the help of his quirk. But that would all come in time, at the moment he has to stop himself from cumming in his pants because you’re bending over on your way to your room so you can change, stooping to pet your cat and his hoodie rode up your ass and he can see your lacy black panties and you were GOING to drive him insane long before he ever got the chance to make you his, he was sure.

> He had brought you coffee and suggested you just stay in all day since you both had such a late night. Watching movies and stuff. You know, normal stuff. He told himself he wasn’t going to try and make a move. Right? Right.

> But when you emerged from your room 45 minutes later, showered and changed, your hair still damp and a droplet of water drifting down your neck and landing in the dip of your collar bones, all he could think of was licking it up. How good your hair must smell, how your skin was still probably warm form the water... He was staring, and you pretended not to notice.

> You were nervous about not measuring up to his expectations. You’d seen the women he usually went out with, and how comfortable they were with their bodies and their sexuality. How beautiful they were. As far as you were concerned, you were nothing like them.

> He could see the gears turning in your head and the downturn of your mouth, and he asked you what was wrong. He motioned for you to come sit with him, and it wasn’t five seconds before he pulled you into his lap. After some coaxing, you let him know what you were worried about. He assured you that the reason he was so happy with you is because you weren’t anything like the women he had dated before. Because, not only were you far more beautiful than they were, they had also been conceited and cold, only dating him because he was an up and coming pro-hero that could get them into events so they could dump him for the first bigger hero they’d meet. He liked that you were soft and warm and he could trust you, that you had always trusted him, even despite his quirk.

> You talked for awhile, and as the morning sun drifted higher into the sky, you decided it was time to door dash some food. While he ordered it, you excused yourself the restroom. You needed to think. The heaviness of the conversation still weighed on you, and you’d never felt closer to him than you did now. It was time, you were sure. You wanted to give him everything he’d been waiting so patiently for, he deserved it. And so did you damnit, no more of this scaredy-cat bullshit! You gave yourself your best war face in the mirror before you exited the bathroom and going back to the living room where Shinsou was reclined on your couch. Head tilted back, resting on the pillow behind him.

> He was so beautiful. Lavender hair a wild mess, eyes closed and lashes fluttering softly. You wanted to kiss his neck suddenly, and unlike when urges like this usually happened, you didn’t shove the thought away. You quickly straddled him and, before he had the chance to question you, you began kissing up and down his neck softly. “K-kitty...” he groaned beneath you, gripping your waist, his hips jerking up against yours.

> After a while of your explorative kissing, he growled impatiently and flipped you over easily, pressing you into the couch. He kissed you like he might die if he didn’t, deep and slow and desperate. When he finally broke for air and looked at you, he felt his heart and his dick jump. Your flushed face and your eyes that were looking up at him through your eyelashes heavily, your mouth hanging open gasping and your kiss bitten lips, your brows softly cinched at the effort it took for you to remember you needed to breathe.

> He asks you if you’re sure you were ready, and when you nod dazedly up at him he doesn’t need any more convincing.

> He takes his time, he’s slow and methodical. He wants your first time to be an enjoyable experience. Something you can look back on fondly and remember how much he loved you, how good it felt, how comfortable you were. He wanted it to be better than his first time, drunk after a hero convention, with some woman who didn’t remember his name in the morning and never called him back. He pushed the thought away. He focused on you, on how perfect you were.

> When he finally thrusts into you, you think you want to feel like this forever. You tell him so, and beams with pride, pushing your pleasure further. Kissing your neck and praising you. Telling you how perfect you are, telling you all the things you do that drive him crazy, telling you that he’s never going to let you go, that you’re his forever and he’s yours.

> You cum together, and you think that everything in the world must have always been this beautiful. You spend the rest of the day cuddling, eating, and making love.

-Bakugo-

> No thoughts in this mans head. None. At least when it comes to romance. When you first start dating, you had to make the first move cause his oblivious ass just thought you were challenging him. You had to explain to him that what you were actually doing was called “flirting”.

> So when it comes to your first time, you know you’re gonna have to make the first move there too. He fears rejection, so he avoids the things he really wants the most. Which in this case is you whining on his dick.

> But he also knows you’re a virgin and he doesn’t wanna scare you, so he leaves it be. Trusting his fist to get the job done when he really needs to let off some steam. Either by punching shit or jerking off.

> One day, you do catch him jerking off, and you immediately start to (stupidly) think that you’re not enough for him, that he might leave you for someone who can give him what he needs. You don’t think he notices you having a mini panic attack in the hallway so you sneak back to the kitchen to catch your breath and think. Why HAD you waited this long? What were you waiting FOR? You guessed you had just been worried about not knowing what to do, about him getting impatient and annoyed with you for your lack of experience.

> Making your final decision, you square your shoulders and march yourself back to your shared room. You confidently open the door to find him ... waiting for you?

> “Tch, took you long enough. You done freakin’ out now?” He grumbles from his spot on the bed. You nod meekly and he opens his arms for you, an invitation you gratefully accept. He pets your head and continues grumbling, “ just as bad as shitty-hair, nobody ever knocks anymore. You shouldn’t be surprised when you just try to walk in like that...”

> He keeps petting your head until eventually you hit him with it. “‘Tsuki, I wanna... uhm...” you look up at him with pleading eyes hoping his quirk somehow suddenly allows him to read your mind.

> It doesn’t. “ You wanna what? C’mon, spit it out.” No thoughts, remember?

> You huff and blush and finally squeak out, “Wanna make you feel good, ‘Tsuki...”

> His brain stops working momentarily. When he catches back up, he smirks. “Seriously? It just took you gettin’ jealous over my left hand for you to be ready?”, he teased. You stick out your tongue and he grabs your jaw, looks you dead in the eyes when he says, “I have something much more important for that cute little mouth to do.”

> Your eyes go wide at his suggestion, even though it really doesn’t surprise you. When Katsuki wants something he wants to go all out, no half-assing it. You nod nervously and he laughs at your apprehension, allowing you to shift down his body until you were face to face with his fly. You undid the button and zipper with shaky hands, and gently guide his dick out of his jeans.

> Beautiful is the first word to come to your mind. Beautiful and massive, just like the rest of him. He was easily over six feet tall, and built too so it really shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did. For a moment all you can do is look up at him from your place below him, your big strong hero. You melt a little and you notice him smirking down at you again, “What ‘ya lookin’ at, princess?”. He gently strokes your cheek while you admire him, “You.” you reply dazedly. His smirk widens to a bear malicious grin, “Me? How come?”. A feeling you’re not totally familiar with, but you’re pretty sure is called submission, fills you suddenly and you feel warm and content. “You’re perfect,” you bat your eyelashes and bite your lip as you gently start to stroke your hand up and down his length.

>He controls his breathing, because he really can’t handle you looking so cute with his cock that close to your pretty little face. “‘Tch, and? What’s got you so worked up about it?” You giggle and nuzzle your face into the base of his cock and look up at him innocently. “I’m just glad I’m yours,” you smile and lick him from base to tip before gently taking him into your mouth. You’d read enough smut online to at least have some idea how to do this.

> He almost cums when you say that you’re glad to be his. His, he grins. He doesn’t get to think about that for too long though because your warm, wet tongue is sliding up his shaft and then your pretty little mouth engulfs him and he thinks he might hyperventilate if you keep looking up at him like that. He’d almost say it wasn’t fair, but then you start moving and he thinks that he could actually die happily from the warm bliss that fills him while he watches you try to take more and more of him down your throat.

> This is much more fun than you thought it would be, especially because Katsuki keeps letting out those little sighs and groans, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. You hollow out your cheeks and suck a bit harder before taking a deep breath and relaxing your throat as much as possible. You lower yourself down as far as you can, pushing past the ring of muscle in the back of your throat before moving down further. You feel him lay his hand gently, encouragingly, on the back of your head. You’re surprised when you find your nose nestled in the light blonde fuzz at the base of him and you stick your tongue out to lap at the underside.

> He jolts when you begin your descent. You’re not really gonna try to deep-throat him, are you? He watches you, mesmerized. No ones ever even tried, always saying he was way too big. It felt way too good. He laid a hand on the back of your head to ground himself, quickly realizing he had to control himself so that he didn’t clench his fist in your hair or shove you down all the way and hold you there. When you reached your goal, he sighed. Your throat felt perfect wrapped around him, just like he knew it would. When he felt your tongue sneak out of your mouth and lick, he thanked whatever creator there was that your tongue was long enough to reach his anchor. when you start to move your head up and down, he can only take it for so long before he’s thrusting up into your mouth. When you gag on him, that’s it, he has to pull you off him before he grips your head and suffocates you on his cock.

> He’s nearly at the point of begging, but thankfully, mercifully, you seem to get the idea. You wipe your mouth and lie back on the bed, giggling at his abruptness and he growls in response. He kisses you, and praises you, telling you how good you are, how much he needs to be inside you as he undresses you. You’re surprised at how automatically your legs open for him, and you tell him how much you need him inside of you as well. You feel so empty all of a sudden. Until one of his thick fingers finds your molten core and gathers some of your slick before sinking into you and you gasp.

> He continues to kiss and praise you as he works you with his fingers. You whine and moan and beg, it’s like music to his ears. When he thinks you’re ready, he lines himself up with your entrance, sliding up and down, grinding against your clit briefly before continuing. “I wanna hear you beg for it, princess.” and fuck, did you beg. A beautiful litany of filthy fucking words fell from your mouth, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He sinks into you fully in one thrust, gripping your open legs for stability.

> At first you can’t speak, you can’t make any noise at all. You feel so unbelievably full, and you look up at him and his eyes are clenched shut and his jaw is set. He’s holding himself back. He’s trying to be gentle with you because it’s your first time. He really is very sweet when he wants to be. You raise a shaky hand to his face and he leans into it. He met your eyes and you watch as his control falters when he sees you bent in half like this. You smile, “Katsuki, please”, is all you can say. It seems to open the flood gates. For all his self control, he pounds into you mercilessly and it fills you with the most intense feeling of ecstasy. “F-fuck ‘Tsuki, you feel s-so fucking good,” you moan and gasp brokenly.

> He cums hard. Grunting, growling, and near snarling the whole way through. You’re seeing stars, even though you haven’t cum. It had felt so fucking amazing, and you’re more than content with that. Katsuki is definitely not however, and is intent on eating you out until you beg for mercy. He always takes such good care of you.

#dabi x reader #dabi smut #shigaraki smut #shigaraki x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #aizawa smut #shinsou x reader #shinso smut #bakugo x reader #bakugo smut

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xtodorcki · 3 years

Note

hiii hope your having an amazing day :) do you make headcanons? if you do and if you don't mind can i request headcanons for Izuku, Bakugo, and Denki about being in a secret relationship (i really love your stories about characters being in a secret relationship) and them accidentally outing their relationship because something happened (you can choose what happened) thank you so much!! also if you dont do headcanons you can choose one from the three on the imagine ❤️ I'm sorry if this is confusing 😅

“Secret Relationships,” Midoriya, Bakugou and Denki headcanon

YES IM GLAD YOU REQUESTED THIS UGH, I gotta do my sweet baby Bakugou first🥺

Summary: having a secret relationship with one of the guys and it’s get leaked.

Each section would probably be a little short, I apologize in advance🥺

Warnings: none!

Bakugou:

The relationship between you and Bakugou was always strange but once the students had to move on campus in the dorms, it turned into a whole different story.

The secret meetups late at night in his room, turned into nothing more than a secret relationship. The way your sleep schedule was beyond screwed up from being up late in his room and having to wake up early to go back to your room before anyone noticed.

It had been going on for months so by now you were used to the secrets and sneaking around along with barely having any sleep the next day while in class.

The more the relationship progressed, the more Bakugou would steal quick glances at you and even when you were in the kitchen with the other students, he would purposely slide behind you and touching your back in the process.

One day in particular, the class had decided to have a game night and he wasn’t too thrilled about joining in. He had tried to convince you to come back to his room but you had told him it would make things obvious if only the two of you were absent.

He huffed, at this point he didn’t really care about the class nor their opinions on anything. He was a ball of fire afterall so when he saw you sitting with the class as they gathered up board games, he was over with keeping things a secret, he wanted it to be known that you were his and he wanted you upstairs in his room.

“I don’t wanna play this stupid game night.” Bakugou said in front of everyone but he was directing it towards you and you tried to ignore him.

“That’s fine, you don’t have to be here dude.” Kirishima patted his back, sitting down at the table and he huffed out a breath dramatically, standing there with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m not talking to any of you idiots.. Y/N.” He said your name sternly, like he was giving you a direct order by the look of his red eyes.

“Why are you so worried about Y/N being here with us?” One of the classmates mentioned and you had cursed under your breath, Bakugou was acting like a child.

“Because I want my girlfriend upstairs with me.” Bakugou angrily said, everyone growing quiet and you had gulped the lump in your throat, well there goes the secret.

Everyone’s eyes had landed on you and your cheeks turned a dark shade of red before you slide the chair back and stood up. You have never felt this embarasssed in your life, he could’ve done this any other time in a completely different way but of course the asshole had to make everything a big deal.

“No way,” Denki mumbled, trying to hold the laugh that was begging to come out.

You dismissed yourself, walking over to where Bakugou was and punched his arm as hard as you could, cursing under your breath and he smirked while wrapping his arm around your shoulders, winking back at the rest of the class.

“God, you’re so fucking embarrassing, Katsuki.” You muttered, following him to the elevator to go up and he tugged you closer.

“Oh shut up, you love it.”

As you two waited for the elevator, you couldn’t help the feel the classes eyes on the both of you. It was even more humiliating as you had to wait for the doors to slide open. You heard a few of them whisper about you two being a thing, some had mentioned how obvious it was and some mentioned had you two were complete opposites.

Bakugou obviously didn’t care, instead he liked to annoy everyone, especially you. So hearing people whisper about had fed onto the asshole ego he had, making his large hand grab your chin and give you a rough kiss on the lips in front of everyone.

The way your face was completely red at this point and all he did was give the classmates a evil grin before dragging you into the elevator and pushing the button for his floor.

“Why can’t you ever be casual?”

“Do you not know me? I’m far from casual.” He nudged you gently, laughing at your tomato red face and moved his thumb to brush across your cheek.

“Yeah, clearly.”

Denki:

You had a crush on Denki for what seemed like forever. Since the first moment you met him on the first day of school till now. It was pretty obvious how much you liked him. Eventually you became bold enough to ask him to hang out.

Now you two have been dating for only a few weeks, you both had agreed to keep it private to enjoy the privacy and the time alone before the classmates end up finding out.

Of course you knew Denki a little too well at this point, you knew he would end up slipping up the secret sooner or later but it didn’t entirely bother you that it’ll happen.

And you were right, after a training exercise and having to go through some obstacle course that Aizawa had set up, he had sparked a fuse and as his brain suffered a shortage, his mouth had instantly opened and talked about you.

You couldn’t help but be over protective when he did go through that shortage phase, quickly taking care of him and making sure he was comfortable was a habit you picked up.

“So pretty.” He muttered as he reached for you in front of everyone and you froze in your place until he had wrapped his arms around you, clinging onto your body.

Your cheeks flushed, grabbing onto his body and holding him up straight so he didn’t lose his balance. He continued to mutter words like how you’re so pretty and he even slipped up how he was lucky to have you.

“Aww, Denki is in love.” Sero had laughed at his state, making you roll your eyes and become more protective.

“Nothing wrong with that.” You admitted, stroking your fingers through his hair and dragged him over to sit down.

His head had rested on top of yours, his tall frame giving you a tight hug and you had choked on the air you were breathing on from how openly clingy he was acting in front of the entire class including Mr. Aizawa.

“Is there something you’re not telling us?” Midoriya had teased, the smirk on his face made you grow embarrassed.

“No.”

“Yes, we are.” Denki cut you off, his arms still around yours and the goofy smile on his face only got bigger.

“Y/N is mine. Only mine, I don’t want to see- I don’t want to see any of you near... what’s mine.” He managed to stumble out, his face turning blank like he had forgotten what he was talking about.

“Jesus,” You laughed, putting your hand over his mouth, glancing at your classmates.

You stayed quiet, dragging him away from the rest of the class and forced him to drink some water and sit down on a chair to relax until he went back to his normal state.

You will admit that he was cute and the way he openly told everyone what was his, which was you, had made your heart flutter.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, Denki.”

“Am I?”

Midoriya:

It had taken forever for Izuku to catch onto your hints on liking him and wanting to hang out with him more. Of course he was very oblivious and didn’t catch on for weeks, even months before you got frustrated and had been straight forward with him.

The both of you being completely shy balls made everything a lot more difficult, the hints he threw at you and the hints your threw at him had completely flew over both of your heads, it was quite ridiculous.

You knew Midoriya wasn’t going to make the first move, you knew he was too big of a anxiety nut to even be bold enough to tell you to your face that he likes you in ways that was more than friends. So you did it on your own.

It hadn’t even been a week of you two officially dating until Izuku slipped it up to Todoroki when ranting about how amazing you were and how much he loved watching your quirk in action.

Once he had revealed the secret, he had told Todoroki to keep his mouth shut and not talk about it again but later that day, Izuku slipped up to another one of your classmates, Ashido.

It wasn’t long until he had slipped up to the whole entire class and now everyone knew that you two were a fresh couple. The side comments the students would make to you both and embarrass the both you, making the shyness in you two grow and cause you to stutter to no end.

“I think you two are cute!” Ashido had mentioned, trying to assure you that it wasn’t a big deal that everyone already knew.

“You knew Midoriya can’t keep a secret for long.” She commented, making you laugh and agree to what she said.

You couldn’t blame him though, he was a little too excited to be dating his crush that he couldn’t help but talk about you constantly to all his friends. He couldn’t help but stare at you and want to talk about how pretty you are and the characteristics he liked most about you.

It was in his nature, he was proud and lucky that he just had that urge to tell the whole world about you and it made butterflies explode in your stomach and it also made you want to kiss him desperately but you decided to not do that in front of everyone.

“I’m sorry, I know you didn’t want to tell anyone right away.” He mumbled towards you, the look of guilt washing over his features and you shook your head, embracing him in a tight hug.

“Don’t be sorry! I’m glad you told people.”

ANNND finished, I’m sorry it’s short. I usually go longer when it’s one character at a time but I hope it’s good🤧

PLSSSS send in more my hero requests!! I’m obsessed

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forever-rogue · 3 years

Note

OH I HAVE AN IDEA like an angsty fic where bucky and reader have a miscommunication and it causes a fight between them and they are both like ???? “we’ve never yelled at each other ??? what is this” AND IDK I JUST WANT ANGST

So, head empty, very little thoughts, but I hope this works and you like it 🥺

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You sang along to the music that was playing softly in the background as you showered and got ready for your day. You’d had a late start, easily giving into Bucky and staying in bed for just five more minutes, which had really turned out to be almost another hour. The good thing about being the boss was that you could afford to be late every once in a while. Bucky was in the kitchen, whipping up a quick breakfast before he too needed to leave and go about his day.

“Sugar,” he called out to you as you washed your hair. You could faintly make out his voice as you carried on, but figured you’d be able to make out what he was saying well enough, “I’ve got everything made and prepared just how you like it!”

You thought nothing of it for a moment and continued to wash your hair; but about halfway through the motions, you stopped in surprise. What had he actually said?

“Bucky? Bub, what did you say?” you quickly rinsed out our hair before pulling back the shower curtain as you tried to listen in. Had he really said he was mad?

“It’s all done! I’m done,” he called back as he covered your plate for you to find once you got out of the shower. He grabbed his travel mug of coffee and headed towards the door, giving Alpine a quick pet before leaving, “bye honey. Running late and gotta go - I’m leaving!”

“Bucky!” you almost slipped and fell as you tore back the shower curtain and almost jumped out of the shower. It was still running as you haphazardly grabbed a towel and darted down the hall and into the kitchen. But he was already gone; the only thing that was left behind was the faint smell of his cologne. Swallowing the nervous lump in your throat, you trudged back down the hall to finish your shower. You were already running late and whatever this was - whatever had just happened - would need to wait until later.

Had Bucky really just broken up with you in the midst of a shower? It sure seemed like it right now.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you sat down and stared at your computer screen. You’d had the same spreadsheets and charts pulled up for the last two hours and made almost no progress. You swore that almost every single interaction you’d had with Bucky over the last week was playing on loop in your mind. You were desperately trying to figure out where you’d gone wrong, what had caused him to snap.

In an effort to alleviate your own fears, you’d texted Bucky to get a response from him and see what was going on. But you hadn’t heard back from him. You’d sent three messages before deciding not to bombard him. But still...if he was just up and leaving you after almost three years together, he owed you at least a small explanation.

You opened google and quickly pulled up an apartment search, already resigned yourself to the idea that you’d need to find a new place fast. Being around for too long would be too hard and you didn’t want to subject to more torture than necessary. And Alpine! You’d need to decide what to do with your beloved cat - Alpine loved you equally, how were you to choose who would get the fluffy little thing? And all the friends in common you shared...who would they side with?

“Fuck,” you groaned at nothing in particular and decided to focus on your work. At least that would keep you distracted and your brain focused on something other than Bucky. You would figure out everything else tonight. It would all be fine. This was no big deal; maybe your world was falling apart...but you would handle it. You always did.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you finally allowed yourself to go home that evening, you were shocked to find the lights on and Bucky in the kitchen. He was on the phone with someone, his new girlfriend or someone like that you immediately presumed, moving about the kitchen as he finished dinner. You choked up as you watched the domestic scene that was so normal to you by now. But this time, it felt so wrong.

You stormed in and for whatever reason, you decided that grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Bucky was a good idea. You picked the soft thing up in your arms and hurled at him, who suddenly realized you were home and yelped in surprise as he dodged the offending object. He raised his eyebrows in surprise as he pointed to the earbuds in ears as he turned back to the stove.

You were seeing red by now as you stormed in the kitchen and ripped his earbuds out. He was so stunned by your sudden actions, he jumped back and offered up a shocked look.

“What the fuck are you doing here!?” you shouted at him as you threw the buds on the floor, half tempted to stomp them, “how fucking dare you!”

“Sugar, what on earth are you talking about?” he grabbed his phone off the counter and ended the call without hesitation. Your chest heaved as you waited for some sort of explanation, “what’s going on? Are you alright?”

“No, I’m not alright! How on earth could I be alright?” you threw your hands up in exasperation as you tried to unsuccessfully hold back your tears. He was so calm and nonchalant about everything it was almost more frustrating than anything else.

“Okay...something is going on. Care to enlighten me?” he tried to reach up and wipe your tears away but you flinched out of his touch, “sugar?”

“Y-you! It’s you!” you cried softly as he motioned for you to explain just what it was about him that was the problem.

“What about me…?”

“You just break up with me this morning and tell me you’re leaving me and then you just come back like nothing has happened?” as soon as the words left your mouth, Bucky’s mouth dropped open. It was news to him that he’d broken up with you, “and you didn’t answer my texts all day! I deserve some sort of explanation!”

“I didn’t...I didn’t break up with you, Sugar,” he stated simply as you tilted to your head in confusion, trying to decide if he was pulling your leg or being honest, “why would I leave you? That makes no sense. I love you - I’m in love with you!”

“This morning,” you whispered softly, “you said you were done and you were leaving. When I was in the shower.”

His brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what exactly you were talking about. But then it hit him and he struggled not to burst out laughing. He gnawed on his lip as he fervently shook his head, “my sweet girl, you...well you heard me correctly, but incorrectly at the same time.”

“What? I-I swear…”

“What I said was breakfast was done and that I was leaving for work because I was running late too,” he explained as you tried to replay all that you had heard. Maybe...maybe you hadn’t heard him correctly at all - and in turn jumped to the worst possible conclusion, “I had to run...I’m sorry I didn’t come into the bathroom and say goodbye. Maybe that would have solved this whole thing.”

“You’re not..leaving me?” you asked as he just shook his head and took the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, “you still love me?”

“I find it both hilarious and concerning that you so easily thought I would just leave,” he kissed the top of your head as you held onto him as tightly as possible, “of course I’m not leaving. You never have to worry about that, sugar. I love you so much, silly girl. You sweet, silly girl.”

“I’m an absolute idiot,” you mumbled as you buried your face in his shoulder. You couldn’t believe that you jumped from A to Z so quickly and without a moment of hesitation, “I’m sorry, Bub. I feel like I wouldn’t blame you if you did want to leave me now.”

“Never,” he promised softly, “even if you do have moments of being ridiculous. Just like I do.”

“If I ever do something so dumb again,” you huffed as you pulled back and looked at those ocean eyes, “just smack some sense into me. But I...you didn’t answer my texts.”

“Texts?” he seemed genuinely confused as he reached for his phone and correctly scrolled through his messages. You could see that there were none from you, “what are you…I was in bad reception today. Blame Sam, that I was just on the phone with, for that one. They probably never came through. I’m sorry, honey. If they’d come in, maybe we could have avoided this whole situation, huh?"

“Some bad luck on top of it,” you hid your face behind your hands and sighed heavily, “James. I..I’m so sorry for everything. I just downright acted like a fool today. I don’t even know where to begin to apologize. I love you, Bub. I hope you can forgive me, but if not...I would-”

“Hey,” he put his hand under chin and turned your face up to meet his own. His smile was lilting and gentle and his eyes soft, “I love you. It’s alright done and forgotten. Are you hungry? Dinner’s just about finished.”

“I love you more than anything,” you whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, “I just...my emotions were so all over the place today. Like out of control, A to Z. I don’t know what happened.”

“Shit happens,” he dismissed it with a slight scoff as he reached for some dishes, “I’m yours, sugar. Always.”

“Me too,” you agreed as you leaned against the counter, watching him with nothing but adoration. It was then that another realization - and possibly an explanation - hit you. It felt like a punch in the gut, “shit.”

“What?” Bucky asked as he started to plate dinner, “everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you smiled nervously, “just remembered something I forgot to do today.”

“As long as you’re alright…”

“I am,” you promised. You could worry about this later, “hey - I love you so much, Bucky. You know that right?”

“I love you too. Always.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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@qhbr2013 @greeneyedblondie44 @april-showers-and-flowers @softboiipascal @im-an-adult-ish @patzammit @niki-xie @xxlovingfandomsxx @startrekkingaroundasgard @welcometothepedroverse @actual-spawn-of-satan @punkerthanpascal @lazybeeches @someday-when-you-leave-me @justgivemethekeys @salome-c @rosiefridayrogersunday @neptunesglow @artsymaddie @haildoodles @amneris21 @star017 @irepostthingsiwanttoseelater @its–fandom–darling @ayamenimthiriel @alyispunk @djarinbarnes @edencherries @ashamed23 @sunsetskywalkerr @nikkixostan @spookispunk @cable-kenobi @ironicfoxes @cc13723things @gooddaykate @natthebattygeologist @sociallyantisocialbutterfly @n3ssm0nique @daughterofthenight117 @riddikulus-obsessions @imaginelover88 @saint-bvcky @sleep-tight1 @missstef23 @moonlacebeam @asylummara @wakandabiitch2 @hoodedbirdie @mysweetlittledesire @reallyloudstarlight @vintagepigeon @froggyy06 @fleurydelacoury @veil-of-time @queenbeean @deedepee @kenzieam @luxeavenger @dobbyjen @bbl32 @frickin-bats @caprisunsister @spacedadmando @bucks-bunny @starlightcrystalline @jensenswinchester @simonedk @keithseabrook27 @cloverrover @jedi-mando @fyeahatised @allforkook @bibliophilewednesday @doozywoozy

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan

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strawberry-jammers · 3 years

Text

choir and kisses

a niki x reader school au, where there in choir together and have a project to work on. maybe they kiss? maybe

this baisically inspired my school au tbh

masterlist

Niki sat in her choir class, exhausted from her previous class. The kids were just too much to be around and didn't have the mental strength to deal with them sometimes. She opened her choir folder, putting it on her stand.

“Yo niki, you good?'' Wilbur says, sitting down next to her. “I'm fine, but Wilbur, you're not in this class. I thought you were in orchestra.” she answers, looking at the tall man. “I am, I just don't have a class right now so I decided to visit you.” niki nodded. “Oh right, seniors have free hours sometimes.” he nodded at niki’s statement, opening his phone. “Texting sally?” niki asks, making Wilbur blush. “No no I'm not.” niki laughs, turning to the front of the room when the bell rings.

“Alright everyone, we will be doing a group project today! Your gonna do a presentation of a musical and then sing a duet together! Your partners are posted on google classroom.” niki opened her phone, seeing who she was partnered with. Wilbur just sighed, staring at niki. “Mind if i hang with you and your partner?” wilbur asks. Niki nodded. “Yeah its fine. Seems like I'm partnered with your sibling!” wilbur just started laughing. “What are you laughing at?” he calmed down slightly. “It's just that you have the biggest crush on them, it's gonna be so funny.” niki blushed. “I don't have a crush on them! We’re friends, I don't like them like that wilbur.” he just laughed at this. “Niki, your blushing!” niki huffed.

“Wilbur leave Nikki alone, besides we need to do work!” niki turned to see (y/n) yelling at their brother. “I'm still pissed at you for leaving me to deal with techno and tommy.” Wilbur laughs nervously. “I'll do your chores if you don't tell dad.” “deal!” (y/n) sits in the empty seat next to nikki.

“So, what musical do you want to do for the project? Note that we do have to do a duet.” (y/n) says, setting their folder down. “Maybe we could maybe do into the woods? It takes two isn't that hard of a song to do.” niki suggests. “Yeah, we can do that!” niki and (y/n) started to work on their presentation, getting what they needed before they had to leave for class. Wilbur occasionally budded in, bored out of his mind.

“Maybe you should have chosen a different class wilbs. Maybe bother tommy.” (y/n) says, listening to the song they were gonna do. “I dont wanna hang out with Tommy, he's always bothering me about my music.” he crosses his arms and sinks into his chair. “Oh calm down, he's just excited.” niki says, gathering information on her phone. “Niki, you don't have any siblings, shoosh.” niki just laughs.

Things went on like this, right until the class was nearly over. “Oh, niki, you should come over tonight to finish the project. We could practice the song as well!” (y/n) says, moving their chair for the orchestra class that was next. “Yeah, that would be great! I could come over after school?” niki asks. “Yeah, we can walk home together! Gotta make sure to leave Wilbur behind though, he would constantly complain if he were to come along.`` We laugh together. The bell soon rings. “Alright, see you after class ends!” (y/n) says, picking up their stuff. “See you then!” niki puts away her stuff and leaves soon after.

Class went on, (y/n) very excited that niki would be coming over, yet also very nervous. They knew Wilbur would just say something. (y/n) turned to techno, who was in their english class. “Techno, did you read the book we were supposed to read?” technoblade turned to them. “(y/n), this is the second time you're taking this class and you didn't read the book? Again?” (y/n) just glares at him. “I don't like the book, okay! Anyway, did you read it?” techno just sighs, nodding. (y/n) smiled. “Oh thank god! Okay, help me with the essay then.” techno agrees, knowing if they didn't pass, he would get in trouble for not helping.

After a half hour, the bell rings, signalling that school has ended. (y/n) picks up their things, heading to their locker. They see niki waiting for them there. “Did you get out of class early?” (y/n) asked, unlocking the locker. “Yeah, I asked the teacher and she said it was fine!” (y/n) shoves their things into their bag. “Well that's nice of her! Anyways, we better get moving or one of my brothers would force us to ride home with them.” niki nodded, closing (y/n)’s locker for them. They walked down the stairs, heading out of one of the school's many doors.

They walked home, talking about random things as they went along. “You ever think about getting run over when your crossing the road?” niki stared at (y/n), concerned at their comment. “No? Are you okay?” (y/n) nodded. “Yeah im fine.”

After ten minutes, they reach the minecrafts home, noticing that they weren't home yet. “Oh thank god, i forgot they had to pick up tubbo as well.” (y/n) says, opening the door. They both walked inside the dark home. “Im gonna get us some food, just head up to my room!” (y/n) says, taking off their shows and heading to the kitchen. “Alright!” niki says, taking of her own shoes and heading upstairs. Niki spotted a door that had the progressive flag on it. “Oh thats new!” niki says, entering (y/n)’s room. “Wow, their rooms changed since I was last here.

(y/n)’s room was painted (f/c), and had drawings and posters all over the room. They had a desk, with their pc and art stuff atop it. Their bed was unmade, having stuffed animals all over the place. Niki spotted a whale plushie seated on their pillow. “Aww they kept it!” niki had given it to them years ago, so she found it sweet that it was still there.

(y/n) soon came up, holding a bunch of snakes and some cokes. “Sorry this is all we had, tommy wont let us buy anything else.” (y/n) says, handing niki the coke. “Oh, that's alright!” they sit down on (y/n)’s bed. (y/n) sat their snakes on their desk, so as not to spill them all over.

“Okay, we need to actually put the presentation together. You have the notes right?” niki nodded, grabbing her phone while (y/n) sat at their pc, not too far from the pink haired girl. “Okay, so we have-” they did this for a while, niki reading the notes while (y/n) wrote them into the google slide. It soon got to the part where they had to sing their song.

“Okay, so I'll be the baker, and you can be the other one.” (y/n) says, opening the song for them to sing. “Okay, i can do that!'' They started the song, getting ready to sing.

“(Y/N) ARE YOU WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND???” (y/n) stops the song. “I swear to god I will kill tommy. NO JACKASS, WE’RE NOT DATING!!” niki tries to stifle a laugh. “ARE YOU SURE????'' Tommy responds, still downstairs. (y/n) glares at the laughing niki. “Sorry sorry.” niki says, still laughing. “IM POSITIVE, NOW SHUT UP WE’RE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING!!'' Tommy responds immediately. “ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX??” niki chokes on her own spit, while (y/n) blushes profusely. “OH THAT'S IT, COME HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!!” (y/n) says, jumping out of their chair, running downstairs to attack the child. Niki leaves as well, wanting to see (y/n) beat up a child.

She comes down the stairs to see (y/n) putting Tommy in a choke hold while techno cheered them on. Niki stands next to techno.

"Apologize! I'll take your Cds if you don't!!!" "No no not my disks!!"

Niki turns towards techno. "Does this regularly happen?" Techno nodded as a response. Niki turned back, seeing Tommy try to bite (y/n). "OH STOP IT RACOON CHILD!!" philza soon comes In and breaks them apart. "Awwe my free entertainment.'' Techno says. "Oh calm down. Tommy, please stop annoying your sibling. This is why you get choked.” Tommy pouts. “Okay phil.” philza glares at the young child. “Also, (y/n), next time, just punch him in the throat. You've learned from techno.” “HEY!'' Tommy says, offended. (y/n) laughs, “okay, will do dadza. Oh, what time is it?” techno looked at his phone. “Its close to 9 pm.” (y/n) pouts, going over to niki and clinging onto her. “Noooo, it can't be her time to leave.” niki giggles, patting (y/n)’s head. “I have to leave. I'll come over soon, okay?” (y/n) nodds, letting go.

They go upstairs together, grabbing nikkis stuff. They go back downstairs to the front door. (y/n) and niki hug each other. “Are you coming back tomorrow?” (y/n) asked, letting go. “Yeah, we did never got to actually practice the song! I'll be over at 4 pm, like always.” (y/n) nodds. “Okay, well, see you tomorrow?” niki nodded, leaning over and kissing (y/n) on the cheek, making them blush. “Yep! See ya, bye!” she says, opening the door and closing it, leaving (y/n) a mess.

“Yep…” they say to themself, smiling happily. “YES!!!! I TOLD YOU THEIR GIRLFRIENDS!! PUSSY DIDN'T EVEN KISS HER THEMSELF HAHA!!” (y/n) turned around, running towards tommy. “COME BACK HERE AND SAY IT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

#niki nihachu x reader #niki nihachu #niki nihachu x you #niki nihachu x y/n #nihachu x reader #nihachu #mcyt x reader #school au #dreamsmp x reader

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lazyunknownhideout · 3 years

Text

My light || Billy Russo x OC ch-1

new chapter is up on -- > lazy-ass-bitxh-blog also on my wattpad -> Rose_Davidson

Rose Wilson, an artist doing well in her profession, going out to party, traveling, living her best life. Although she gotta admit being best friends to the CEO of a multimillion military company had much of a hand in her blooming success.

Billy and Rose have been friends for three years. After Billy returned from his first tour of Afghanistan, he found a new neighbor. A quiet girl showed up to his doorstep with a shepherd's pie, claiming it to be an introductory gift. And the next day the same girl showed up asking him to help fix her plumbing. After a few help with her plumbing and light fixing and car fixing, they seemed to have formed a nice bond. Soon Billy found himself going up to her place every weekend with a pizza and spend an evening watching movies and talking about the week, for that few hours Billy seemed to forget most about the horrors he faces at the front daily. He found a confidant in her and began sharing as much as he could about his experience in Afghanistan without breaching confidentiality. Even though Billy Russo was a ladies' man, always good to talk his way into their beds and their arms, she seemed to be the one you would like to sit and have a nice cup of coffee and talk all about your day.

On the day Billy had to go back to Afghanistan he told her all about his childhood, opening up all about the abuse the tortures. He figured if he died at the front he would know there was someone who knew all about him, and hopefully still thought good about him, and rose did just that.

"Well Billy, what would you like as your coming home meal?" Rose asked as he was packing up all his bags.

Billy looked at her and smiled, "If I do come back, I will have one of your pies"

"You will come back Billy, you're a stubborn man" Billy chuckled at her words.

"Well I hope I do, until then stay safe and happy okay rose?"

"Yep" She hugged him tight and smiled looking at him.

_____________________________________________________

Timeskip--

Anvil, Billy's company has been thriving, getting a lot of clients of high profile always kept the business going smoothly, however, a small inconvenience had popped up. Homeland security agent Madani seemed to have caught a sniff of operation Cerberus and going public about it would destroy all he has worked for. So Billy did what he does best, chatted her up, and made her trust him.

He just came home after having a drink with Madani, satisfied with the progress he had made, taking all the information out of her would be easy. As he went in to take a shower his phone ranged, it was Rose.

"Hey Billy, where were you? Your phone was switched off"

"Yea I was out confidential work, everything alright?"

"It's Saturday Bill, you didn't come for our pizza night" Her voice sounded sad.

"Shit sorry, It completely went out of my mind, I could come over now order something" He stepped out of the bathroom and started looking for a change of clothes.

"Hey it's alright, you must be tired, we'll just do it next week"

"You sure its alright?" He didn't want to upset the one person he cared about.

"Yea yea, its alright, I'll see you later kay?"

"Yeah see you"

The next morning Billy found her drying a piece of her canvas on her balcony as he was returning from his morning run. Deciding to apologize for last night he walked up to her door.

As she opened the door Billy couldn't control his laugh when he saw the state she was in, clothes splattered with paint all over, face half covered in red paint, and a pencil behind her ear.

"Well stop laughing and come in" Rose rolled her eyes at his reaction.

Billy walked, "Did you run out of canvases to paint on and decided to paint yourself?"

"Shut up Russo" She shook her head unable to hide a smile creeping onto her face.

"So as I missed out on last night, I was thinking maybe go for a cup of coffee and breakfast"

"Sure lemme wash up all these paints then"

"Right give me a call when you are done, I'll be at my place"

"Okay"

------------

Billy walked up to the counter, "An espresso and a caramel latte and two bacon with eggs"

"Well you know my preference Russo" He smiled at her, ordering exactly what she had in mind.

"What can I say, I'm pretty observant and I know you well" She smiled at him and sat down. As the order cane real soon they started eating. Rose was debating whether or not to ask him about last night, deciding to just go for it she did

"Hey, so what was the work that kept you busy even on a saturday night"Billy looked up from his cup, "It was a meeting with an informant " He lied effortlessly, although technically it was a 'meeting' she called him upto meet, and as he was trying to pry out information from her it did make madani an informant.

Rose nodded her head, "And how was your week Billy, saw you returning pretty late last few nights"

Billy smirked at her,"Have you been stalking me Rose, I must say Im a bit flattered"

Rose laughed at his reaction,"I can just see your ego inflate up Russo, that car of yours is hard to miss when it pulls up in the driveway, so I guess you can say I stalked your pretty car"

Billy's smirk never faltered,"just the pretty car not the very pretty man inside it?" Rose smiled at him, it was hard to imagine this man sitting infront of her, laughing and making jokes was a person with 300 confirm kills at the upfront and had a whole organisation of henchmen at his fingertips.

"Just finish your coffee Billy" Billy chuckled at her, and sipped his coffe, "How about you how was your week" "Non monumental"

They talked about their week and all other things while having their breakfast. It seemed easy for them to talk to each other, it was effortless Billy never had to worry that she might judge him based on his work that he did, she always seemed to understand him. The only other person that he was this open with was Frank but it has been 2years since he died, even though he missed him, it was comforting knowing Rose was here for him.

She never questioned too much about his work, some times when he returns home wounded up, he goes and visits her after cleaning himself up and one cup of coffee with her seems to ease the pain.

Rose had never met someone like Billy before, he had practically everything at his fingertips, just one call away, she knew people feared Billy, she knew his service in the marines he had killed so many people, enemies, she knew everything he was capable of, but whenever she was with him, she just saw this man, someone who jokes around brings pizza for her, makes coffee sometimes and even goes shopping with her and patiently waits for her to try out many many clothes, and also provides some very constructive advice on fashion.

They walked back to their place and went on with the daily chores.

Back at Anvil things were getting quite busy with new recruiters coming in, Billy had to go in for orientation almost every day, a fresh batch of young men and women, eager to get recruited.

There was also the case of Madani, the sooner he gets to get all the information out of her the better, so far he had taken her out drinking and slept with her almost three days in a row and found out very little.

As the weekend approached Billy had the one thing he looked forward to after a rough week. It was Saturday evening, people at Anvil, finished their work for the day and were headed back. Billy thought to go grab the pizza and go straight to her place. As he was gathering up his stuff, his phone rang Dinah's name popped up.

He picked up the cellphone and answered with a gruff tired voice, "Dinah"

"Well, Mr.Russo you sound tired"

"Yea long day" Billy went on and locked his office, heading out.

"Why don't you come over then Billy, vent some of that tension out" She said in the best sultry voice she could manage.

Billy smirked, "Careful there agent Madani, this might just become a regular thing"

She chuckled, "Why do you have plans tonight?"

Billy took a moment before answering her, maybe if he called Rose she would understand, it was just pizza and movie, it wasn't like they were dating. And he couldn't miss any chance that he can get to search Madani's house.

"No, no I'm free I'm coming over, hope you are ready for me"

"Why don't you come soon and find out" She hung up.

Billy dialed Rose's number, hoping she wouldn't mind missing out tonight. She picked up after three rings.

"Hey Billy, everything alright?"

"Yea, listen um, something came up, so I won't be back like late tonight."

"Oh," She was upset it was evident in her voice.

"I'm sorry Rose" He said softly. "How about coffee like last week?"

"Yea don't worry Billy, it's alright. Job is important"

A tinge of guilt washed over Billy. He did still hesitate a bit but still, went on to Dinah's place.

-------------------------------------------

Rose looked over at the clock, 35mins since she ordered her pizza, "Well I should be getting it for free now then", she decided to watch a movie herself, after all, it wasn't Billy's fault that urgent work came over.

The doorbell rang and she went over to collect her pizza.

"That will be 8 dollars, ma'am"

"Shouldn't it be free, you are over 30min"

"No ma'am sorry, we don't have that policy"

"Alright then" She went in to get her purse, as she came back out she was shocked to see the pizza guy holding out a gun, pointing at her.

"Don't dare to scream or move, I won't hesitate to shoot"

Rose was frozen in place, too shocked to comprehend what was even happening. The man came up tied her hands behind her back, all while pointing the gun at her throat.

"What do you want!"

"Shut up girl! You are leverage for Billy Russo. Now don't make a single noise while I take you downstairs. One scream and the bullet goes straight in."

"If I'm to be leverage then I wouldn't be much use dead would I?" Rose regretted it as soon as those words came out of her mouth.

The guy gave her a deadly stare and put gauged her mouth shut and shoot a bullet at her hand. Her scream was muffled by the gauge covering her mouth, she struggled to free her hands but the knot was too tight, the man dragged her to the door and pulled her up.

"Now don't cause a fuss and come quietly or the next bullet goes through the leg. Rose didn't dare to struggle against the guy, he was a foot taller than her, and manhandled her like she weighed nothing. He dragged her out and shoved her into the car. There were two more men inside the car, she tried to take a closer look at their faces when suddenly a hand came in and put a cloth over her face, and then she blacked out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

chapter 2

A.N: Hey there guys!! hope you like this start, its just the first chapter so not much BillyxRose in here except a build-up of their relation, but there will be action in the next chapter so brace yourselves!

And also: review! review! review!

#billy russo #billyrusso #fanfiction #benbarnes #ben barnes #billy russo imagine #smut #jigsaw #thepunisher #billy russo fanfiction

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sea-dukes-assistant · 3 years

Text

I wanted to write but couldn't think of stuff, so I just searched #writingprompts and managed to find some that would work (which was difficult to do). I don't feel it's my best, but I do feel this was a "milestone" that needed to be achieved so I could mentally progress with this. I am proud of "my" character growth and I should say it.

Part 2 is probable.

This had been going on for a few years, and despite a few awkward hiccups, mostly due to my often crippling shyness making things worse for myself, it had finally gotten to the point where I could hold it back anymore. I had Shit To Say and he needed to hear it.

"I'm gonna fucking tell 'im," I declare to absolutely no one, my brow furrowed in determination, before unraveling myself from my Royal Navy greatcoat nest. "It is time for me to declare my feels, bae! It is time for to have Big Dick Energy at my (other) mans!"

I get out of bed and open the underwear drawer of the dresser with authoritah.

"First I'mma need to wrap my dick in confidence tho....ah yis, the freedom bird skivvies...can't go wrong with those," I say, tossing them onto the bed, and closing the drawer. That big decision made, I remove the pair I'm wearing get into the shower. No music on this morning, as I don't want to distract myself or have my mood changed. I'm reminded of the similarity between this morning and the morning after That First Time and all of this started, which is both slightly heartwarming and terrifying. I continue to verbally motivate myself, because I know if I don't, my anxiety will win and I will lose this sudden amount of courage.

Shower and shave done, I get dressed, not putting more effort than usual into my wardrobe choices. I do go for a "classier" scent for my cologne though, the same scent I wear for the big semi-annual meeting where the schedule for the next 6 months is hashed out. I'm short and they still don't take me seriously so at least I can smell like a boss. I take a good look in the mirror; everything has gone right so far. My hairs look good, styled swept to the right with pomade as usual, I look good, the bulge is just right in my jeans, and I smell good.

"Fuck sake I'm really gonna just walk into his office and go off," I say, in disbelief. I close my eyes and shake my head, as if you recalibrate my brain. "YES THE FUCK I AM."

I pick up my Royal Navy greatcoat and make my way to my own office, because I still gotta do work and I might need to nest after I do this. After placing bae on the couch, I take a deep breath and briskly walk over to Sea Duke's, hoping he's in there but also hoping he's not. I see that he is. "Oh hell," I think.

Having not planned out anything at all, I decide to go balls to the wall and get right to the point.

"SIR," I begin, walking straight into his office and towards his desk, "I WANT THIS AND I LOVE YOU BUT I'M NOT THAT GOOD AT SHOWING IT." I end this with a dramatic hair flip, which I admit is ridiculous considering I rock a military fade and have no actual hair to flip. I stare at a spot on the wall behind him, so as not to lose my bearing and allow my anxiety to become obvious, as if my somewhat panicked breathing and flared nostrils don't give it away.

I watch as he calmly sets his papers down, gets up, and walks over to me. Every second that passes feels like an hour, my heartbeat is loud in my ears, and I think my leg might give out 'cause it feels really tingly.

Sea Duke stop a few inches from me, and glances towards the door. Satisfied no one's there, he turns his sharp gaze ack to me.

"Your way of flirting is truly awful," he says with a smirk.

I swallow hard.

He takes another glance at the door, more lingering this time, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I won't be missed for a few hours. How about we continue this somewhere more private?"

#Devin's shit fanfiction #working for Sea Duke #The DTF Chronicles #prompt bullshit I found that may or may not be shitter than usual

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ofstarsandvibranium · 5 years

Text

Two for One

Fandom: Marvel (Professor AU/College AU)

Pairing: Stucky x F!Reader

Summary: Ever since you became the TA for Professor Romanoff, you’ve been seeing a lot of Professors Rogers and Barnes. They seem to be attracted to you, but you have a hard time deciding between the two. What do you do?

Warning: smut - bjs, threesome, semi-public…just a whole lot of naughty mk?

A/N: based off of this post and my tags in it. also, word count is about 4.1k. so yall better appreciate this and the struggle i went through to write this (i’m looking at you @chloerinebarnes )

Steve was sure that if Bucky bit his lip any further, he’d draw blood. He nudged his boyfriend with his elbow, gaining his attention back, “Cool it with the staring and lip biting. You’ll scare her off.”

Bucky groaned, “She’s killin’ me with those jeans, babe.”

Steve snorted, “Tell me about it,” he murmured as his eyes went back to across the lounge. You were standing off to the side, speaking with Professor Romanoff, the teacher you were a TA for. You were nodding to everything that she was listing off for you to do. After handing you a stack of papers, you saw yourself out of the lounge. Bucky and Steve’s shoulders sagged in disappointment.

Ever since you became Professor Romanoff, aka Natasha’s, TA, Steve and Bucky have been seeing you more and more. Not that they minded. You were beautiful, funny, and smart. Honestly, you were the missing puzzle piece in their life.

Don’t get it wrong, Steve and Bucky were completely devoted to each other. But for the past few years, they’ve been feeling like they were missing something. And they believe that something is you.

But how does one go about proposing a polyamorous relationship? You don’t. It’s not a very common thing and it’s not accepted in a lot of places. Nonetheless, Steve and Bucky adored you from the moment they met you.

So, they hatched a plan. They would worm their way into your heart individually and when it came to the point where you “have to choose”, they’ll give you the other option: a two for one deal.

_________________________

You’re in the school cafe, a pile of papers off to the side that you’re making your way through. You suddenly feel a presence looming over you and you look up to see Professor Barnes.

You give him a polite smile, “Hey there, professor! How’s it going?”

“Monday mornings were never my thing hence,” he gestured to his large coffee cup.

You snorted, “Tell me about it,” you pointed to your own, “This is my third one already.”

“Mind if I sit?” he points to the seat across from you.

You shook your head, “Not at all!” you move your things around to give him a little bit more space, “Enjoy your weekend?”

He shrugged, “Just stayed home, watched some Netflix, graded papers. The usual.”

You nodded, “That’s become my usual now too. Although, yesterday my friends Pietro and Wanda dragged me out of the apartment to go to a bar. Gonna be honest, had a bit too much.”

“That explains the coffee and you still grading papers that are probably due today.”

You sighed, “Yeeeaahhh. Never listening to the twins again,” you said with a snort.

“I wish I could help. Russian Literature was my minor. But I’m sure if Nat found out, she’d have both our heads.”

“Definitely. Romanoff’s great, but, damn, does she terrify me!”

Barnes snorted, “Same here.” he stood up and grabbed his coffee, “Well, I’ll let you get to it. Good luck.”

“Thanks, Professor Barnes!”

He smiled down at you, and with a wink, he said, “Call me Bucky,” and he waltzed out of the cafe like it was nothing. And you hated to admit that that little gesture made your cheeks heat up and make your panties slightly damp.

___________________

You were struggling with holding the pile of graded papers in your arms and trying to get your notebook out for Romanoff’s class. Just when you thought you had it, all the papers tumbled forward onto the ground. You groaned and hung your head back, staring up at the sky asking, “Why me?”

You bent down and began to collect the papers, and then another pair of hands came into view. You tried to object, “It’s okay! I got-” when you looked up, staring back at you was he striking blue eyes of Professor Rogers, “I-I got it, Professor Rogers,” you stammered as you quickly collected the essays.

“It’s alright. I don’t mind helping,” he said with a shy smile, grabbing the leftover papers and handing them to you. You both stood up and awkwardly stood there, “So, uh, headed to Nat’s-I mean, Romanoff’s office?”

You nodded, “Yeah. Gotta turn in all these papers I graded.” you gestured to the pile that was back in your hands.

“Oh, well, my office is in the same direction. I’ll accompany you.”

You two walked together, towards the Literature and History building, “So, uh, how was your weekend?”

“Oh, uh, pretty bland, honestly. Just hanging out and grading papers. What about you? Did you spend your weekend grading all of these?” he points to your pile.

“Sorta,” you answered, “I got most of them done. Then I went out last night. Got drunk and never finished the rest. I just finished up in the cafe. Professor Barnes was actually there too. Surprised you weren’t with him. You two are usually attached to the hip,” you say teasingly.

Rogers snorted, “Please, I couldn’t shake ‘im even if I tried. We actually live together. We see a lot of each other and you would think we’d get sick of each other. But we don’t.”

“That’s good. I love Pietro and Wanda, but, God, I don’t think I can spend every second of the day with them.”

He chuckled, “Guess you just gotta find the right people that’ll make you want to see them all the time.”

Soon enough, you were in the building, standing in front of Professor Romanoff’s office, “Well, here’s my stop,” you say.

“Yeah. Anyway, I hope you have a good rest of your day, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Professor Rogers. You too!”

“Please, call me, Steve,” he says with a grin and then turns around, heading for his office in the other direction.

___________________

Bucky is eating lunch in Steve’s office. Steve is typing away at his computer, occasionally pausing when Bucky feeds him a forkful of penne pasta into his mouth.

“So, progress?” Bucky asks, his own mouth full of pasta.

Steve chews a few more times before swallowing. He takes off his glasses and sets them onto his desk, “Told her to call me Steve after I helped pick up her papers that she dropped and accompanied her on the way to Nat’s office. She said she came from the cafe and you were there?”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah. Grabbed some coffee, sat with her and chatted a little bit. When I left, I told her to call me Bucky. You still think we should do this?”

“I really like her, Buck. I just-don’t you feel it? That spark with her?” when Bucky nodded, Steve continued, “Then can you imagine how it would be if all of us were together?”

“It’d be like nothing we’ve ever felt before,” Bucky murmured.

“Exactly. We gotta try, but we can’t be too overbearing. She’s gotta be the one.”

Bucky set down his tupperware of pasta and rest his hand on Steve’s, “She’s out missing puzzle piece.”

___________________

You sat in the lounge next to Professor Romanoff, or Nat, as she’s allowed you to call her. You’re both going over test grades and that’s when you hear the screeching of wood against the floor and then you look up to see Bucky and Steve settling across the table from you.

Your eyes brighten and a smile appears on your face, “Hey, Bucky! Hey, Steve!”

Big grins appear on their faces when you acknowledge, “Hey, doll,” Bucky says, and you feel your cheeks heating up.

You duck your head down, biting your lip and continuing to grade papers. You hoped that Nat ignored that interaction, but she didn’t. While you continued to grade papers, Nat gave questioning looks to the professors across from her. Both gave her shrugs and pulled out their own work that needed to be done.

Words started to blur as your eyes skimmed through another test, your red pen marking wrong answers. You could feel yourself getting a headache so you groaned and fell back into your seat, “I need a break. I’m gonna walk to the cafe. Do you guys want anything?” Nat and Bucky shook their head but Steve stood up.

“I’ll go with you. I think I need to stretch my legs anyway.” he turns to Bucky and gives him a nod, and then follows you out of the lounge. After you both leave, Nat turns to Bucky.

“What the hell are you guys up to?”

“Steve and I both like Y/N, so we’re trying to ease our way into her heart and possibly propose a poly relationship.”

Nat groaned, “Jesus Christ. You know what happened the last time you tried that. You and Steve ended up heartbroken and nearly broke up because of it.”

“Dot wasn’t right for us,” Bucky said with a shake of his head, “But Y/N’s different. You know she is, Nat.”

“Maybe so, but then again, you hardly know her.”

“And that’s why we’re trying to spend as much time as we can to get to know her.”

Nat shook her head, “You’re playing a dangerous game. She’s a student.”

“She’s graduating this year. Once she’s graduated, then Steve and I will ask. Trust us, Nat. We learned from the last time and we know what we’re doing now.”

____________________

“So, the semester is half way over and you’ll be graduating soon. Have any plans on what to do?” Steve asked, his hands curled up in his pockets.

“Travel. Find a job. Maybe find some love on the way. I don’t know.”

“Not looking for love right now?” he asked with a teasing smirk.

You shrugged, “Oh trust me, I’ve been looking. Just haven’t found anyone that clicks with me, ya know? Someone funny, smart, compassionate, independent. Oh and knows how to cook. It’s surprising how many people here barely know how to cook.”

Steve snorted, “Bucky loves to cook. He cooks our meals all the time. I know how to cook too, but for Bucky, it’s his stress reliever. He’s in his element when he cooks, plus everything is delicious when he makes it.”

“I’d love to try something other than ramen and burgers.”

“I’ll bring you some tomorrow. Buck loves to cook for other people so it won’t be a problem.”

You shook your head, “I can’t ask you guys to do that. You don’t have-”

“You’re not askin’, sweetheart. Plus, we want to do this. Trust me.”

You sighed, “Fine.”

Steve was beaming right then and there, “Great. Do you have any food preferences?”

“Surprise me.”

_____________________

It became a regular thing after that. You and Nat would be in the lounge going over lecture notes or grading papers. Steve and Bucky would appear and slide over some tupperware for lunch that Bucky had prepared for you. At one point, they started bringing some food for Nat too since she complained about them not bringing food for her. Plus, they didn’t want to seem too suspicious.

As the semester progressed, you found yourself in the company of Steve and Bucky often. Sometimes it was both of them, sometimes it was one or the other. You’d have lunch with them, walk with them to class or the office building. Relax under some trees while you graded papers. You also ended up getting both of their numbers and all three of you would be in a group chat texting away or texting to either men individually.

You were around them a lot and you couldn’t help the feelings you were starting to develop for both them. It was conflicting. Very much so. You were a student and they were professors.

It was a month before the semester ended, before you graduated, and you’d had enough. Enough of the feelings and the confusion. It had to stop!

So you burst into Bucky’s office where you knew both men would be. As soon as you step into the room, you freeze. There right before was Steve and Bucky, but they were tangled up in each other, making out.

“I’m so confused,” you murmured as they stared at you wide-eyed.

“Doll, I-we-”

“I-I should go. Sorry. I didn’t-I’m gonna-”

You turn to leave but Steve cried outs, “Y/N, wait!” and you stop. You look at them and they’re staring at you with pleading eyes, “Sweetheart, please, don’t leave. Just-Just close the door and we’ll explain everything.”

Slowly, you move back inside, closing the door behind you. You sit at the chair across from Bucky’s desk. Bucky sits back down into his seat and Steve stands off to the side, running his hand through his disheveled hair.

“Are-Are you guys together?” you ask apprehensively. When both men nod, you let out a shaky breath, “I-I don’t understand. Both of you made it seem like you were interested in me. Were you just toying with me? Is that it?!”

“No!” both said unison.

Steve cleared his throat, “It’s nothin’ like that, Y/N. We swear. We-Bucky and I, we’ve been together for a long time. We love each other a lot, but-”

Bucky interjected, “But we feel like we’ve been missing something. And we think that something is you.”

You became even more confused, “But you’re together already. How would that even work?”

“A polyamorous relationship. The three of us can be together. Bucky and I have strong feelings for you, Y/N.”

You shook your head, “This can’t happen,” and suddenly, it felt like Bucky and Steve’s hearts were breaking all over again, but then you continued, “I’m still a student and you’re professors. If this got out, I’d be expelled and you two would be fired. I-” you take a moment to let out a deep breath, “It’s funny. I was coming here to tell you that I can’t choose between you two. I have feelings for both of you, so I was just-I don’t know-take myself out of the equation.”

“But you don’t have to, doll,” Bucky says with a hopeful gaze.

Steve rest his hand on Bucky’s shoulder to prevent him from getting ahead of yourself, “But we understand your reasoning why you don’t want to be with us.”

“I didn’t say I don’t want to be with you. I said I can’t right now.” that made both men’s ears perk, “I’m graduating next month. We can put all of this on hold for now and once I’m outta here then...”

“We can wait!” Bucky said all too enthusiastically, which made Steve chuckle.

Steve’s hand moved from Bucky’s shoulder, down his arm and to his hand where they laced fingers, “We’re willing to wait for you, sweetheart. You’re worth it.”

You moved around the desk and to the two men, grabbing each of their hands in yours, “Thank you. You guys mean a lot to me,” you leaned in and pecked the cheeks of each men, “I’ll see you guys soon,” and then you were out of Bucky’s office. The end of next month couldn’t come any sooner.

__________________

“Y/N L/N!” your name was called as you walked across the stage, shaking the dean’s hand, and accepting your diploma. Cheers from your loved ones and peers brought a huge smile to your face. You walked down the steps dancing on your way back to your seat, your classmates buzzing all around you.

After everyone’s name was called, the dean stood up the podium to give final remarks and the changing of the tassels, “Now, everyone, I present to you the Class of 2020!” everyone cheered as caps went flying into the air. You hugged the people around you, and waited for your family and friends to meet you on the field. In the meantime..

“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” Bucky cried out as he gave you a big ol’ hug. Steve stood behind him, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

“Congrats, Y/N,” Steve gave you a hug, nothing to make anyone suspicious.

You were beaming at them, “Thanks you guys. I can’t believe it. I graduated!”

Bucky was ready to ask you out right then and there, but stopped when he saw your family approaching. He and Steve stepped aside to allow you some time with your loved ones. They mouthed, “See you later,” and both walked away to congratulate other students.

You watched as they departed. A part of you wanted to chase after them and kiss them both then and there, but that would stir something up and you didn’t want any trouble on this momentous day. Soon, Y/N. Soon.

The day after graduation was when you were to pick up your official diploma. You knew from the group chat that Steve and Bucky would be on campus, due to finishing up finals. And after you picked up your diploma, you wanted to go see them.

With diploma in hand, you approached the office building, sending off texts to the men:

You: whatcha up to?

Bucky: grading finals in Steve’s office

You: can I stop by?

Steve: of course ;)

Bucky: BRING COFFEE!

You giggled, knowing how predictable Bucky was, two cups of coffee with you already. You approached Steve’s office, knocking on the slightly ajar door, “May I enter?”

The door swung wide open, and Bucky immediately pulled you inside, closing and locking the door behind you. You snorted, “Wow, eager mu-mmf!” you couldn’t finish the teasing retory as a pair of lips matched up with yours, hands cupping your face.

You heard a chuckle from behind you, “Buck, careful, you’re gonna make her spill the coffee she got for us.” He went over and grabbed the coffee tray from your hands.

You pulled away, mumbling, “Thank you,” to him and then looking back at Bucky who sported a dopey grin on his face, “How long were you waiting to do that?”

“So fucking long,” he mumbled, pressing his lips to yours once more, but it was brief since you pulled away.

“Hey now, two kisses and Steve hasn’t even gotten any from me yet. You’re starting to get greedy, mister.”

Bucky’s cheeks flushed and he ducked his head down shyly, “Sorry, doll,” he then moved aside for Steve.

Steve pulled you in, wrapping an arm around you and slowly leaning in. His lips were hovering over yours and right as you were about to tell him to hurry up, his lips met yours in a passionate kiss. His fingers dug into your skin as he held onto you for dear life. For so long him and Bucky have wanted you like this and he feels like if he lets go, if he pulls away, it’ll all be a dream.

Steve began to walk you backwards until your backside hit the edge of his desk. You pulled away to look at the two men, whose soft gazes faded and turned into lustful ones.

You smirked, “I’ve always fantasized about being fucked on a desk.”

Both men growled as they started to undo their pants. Steve pressed you up against the desk, kissing you heatedly, while Bucky began to remove things from the surface. You hopped onto it after receiving the okay from Bucky. Steve worked on getting your jeans off while Bucky pulled of your shirt. Clothes flew around the room with no care where they landed.

“Ah fuck, baby doll. You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Bucky moaned, his hand slowly pumping his cock and the other kneading your breast.

You laid across the surface, opening your mouth, welcoming Bucky’s length. You both moaned when his dick entered your mouth. Bucky thrust his hips back and forth, loving how you looked taking his cock.

Meanwhile, Steve was paying special attention to your pussy. He licked a strip up your slit, tongue circling around your clit. When you moaned a little too loud, Steve pulled away, “Quiet now, honey. Someone might here your pretty little noises and those are for our ears only.”

Bucky pulled out of your mouth for you to reply, “Sorry, Steve.”

“How wet is she, Stevie?” Bucky asked through his panting.

Steve licked his lips, “So fucking wet and she’s so sweet,” he murmured before slurping up some of your juices.

Bucky whined, “Lemme taste.” Steve then stood up and leaned over the desk, pulling Bucky towards him, Lips smashing against lips. You wished you could’ve seen the two men swapping your taste, but the view was blocked by Bucky’s body leaning over yours.

When they pulled away Steve cleared his throat, looking from you to Bucky, “So, how’s this gonna go: i fuck her pussy while you get her mouth, or vice versa?”

You shook your head, “No, I wanna feel you both at the same time.”

Both men moaned at the thought of both of their cocks filling you up to the brim. Steve nodded, “Very well. Bucky, on the table. Sweetheart, straddle Bucky.” Both you and Bucky did as you were told while Steve pulled out a bottle of lube from a drawer.

You gave him a questioning look and Bucky chuckled, “This isn’t the first time we’ve fucked in this office, doll.” And just the image of Bucky and Steve fucking in this office made you even more wet than before.

Steve, with his cock lubed up, knelt behind you and in-between Bucky’s legs, “You ready for us, babygirl?”

“I’ve literally been waiting all semester for this, Steve. Now hurry up and fuck me.”

Both men snickered at your haste, “Gotta give our girl what she wants,” Bucky mumbled as he lined himself up with you and you lowered yourself onto him. Steve was right behind you, pushing you forward and slowly easing himself into not wanting to hurt you. Moments pass they’re both inside you and, holy shit, this is something you’ve never felt before.

Both men stay still as they let you set the pace. You rock your body back and forth, allowing both cocks to drag themselves in and out of you. Seriously, the feeling was something unworldly. What made it ever better was Bucky’s lips on your chest and Steve’s hand working your clit. These men both knew what they were doing.

“So fucking sexy, sweetheart, taking our cocks at the same time,” Steve murmured into your neck, “You love this, don’t you? Love being filled to the brim.”

Bucky bit at your skin, making you hiss, to which he mumbled, “Answer him, babydoll.”

“Yes, Steve. Love your cocks filling me whole,” you gasped when Bucky’s cock just hit that spot that made you shudder. With the way things were going, you knew you were gonna be cumming soon.

“Wanna make a mess outta you, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered, lips still wandering over your neck and chest, “Wanna fill you with our cum, paint you with it. Mark you as ours.”

“I’m yours,” you panted out, “I’m all yours,” you moved your body faster, desperate for your release.

“Go ahead, baby, cum on our cocks. We wanna feel ya,” Steve mumbled in your ear, his hand working faster on your clit. You dug your nails into Bucky’s chest, a pain he happily welcomed.

“Come on, baby. Give it us. You can do it,” Bucky encouraged you, slapping your ass and kneading the flesh.

“Fuck, fuck,” you said through gritted teeth. A powerful wave of pleasure washed over you as leaned down, resting your head against Bucky’s while you came.

“So pretty when you cum,” he whispered.

“Such a good girl,” Steve murmured, kissing your back and shoulders. You moved a bit and felt something wet. You sat up and looked down to see that you just squirted all over you and Bucky.

“Oh shit. I’ve never done that before,” you murmured.

Bucky snickered, “First time for everything,” he said with a wink.

You then moved off his lap, “Well, lemme clean this up for you since it is my mess.” Both men hissed when your hands wrapped around both their lengths, your mouth gliding over Bucky’s stomach and pelvis, collecting your own juices.

“Oh my God, you’re perfect,” he moaned, his hand grabbing your head and trying to push it towards his cock.

You slapped his hand away, “I already sucked you off, babe. Now it’s Steve’s turn,” you said with a smirk. You gave a wink to the blonde as your mouth lowered onto his dick. Bucky was right, you are perfect. And you’re theirs. All theirs.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #steve rogers x reader #stucky x reader #smut #professor au #college au

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sincerlypadfoot · 3 years

Text

Comfort And Death (6)(Part 1)

~After the death of Regulus Black, you take confinement in Sirius who cared for you like a sister after Reguas died, becoming each other's person, you stay at the black house, after having a hard time griefing one night, you go to the place Regulas died.

A/N- So I decided, the next couple chapters will be long because they have meaning and a turn around for the whole story, so chapter six and chapter seven will both be split up into two parts. Im super excited to be writing this.

Word Count-1875

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December 24th 1994

“We’re going to be late aunt Stella,” Harry mumbled walking into my room shaking his head, waking me up in the progress.

“Late for what?” I asked unamoused and still tired, only going to sleep a hour before Harry had walked into my room, fourteen and still not knowing how to knock.

“The Weasleys are coming over for christmas don’t you remember, and Hermione too and a bunch of my other friends, they’ll be here anytime and everyone in this house is still asleep,”

“Cricket don’t panic,” I croaked remember how Remus had thought it was a good idea inviting Harry's friends over for christmas. “Sirius and Remus planned this, go bug them and I promise i’ll be ready when you come back,”

Harry walked out of my room, watching him the passed couple years growing up almost made me feel old, smiling at all his achievement, dumb pranks and detention he’s gotten himself into, and the trouble he had caused, expressly Remus and Sirius last year, pulling a whole prank on the school, almost sending the two of them to Azkaban.

I used my wand, bringing out some clothes from my closet, letting the magic pick as my clothes followed me into the bathroom across the hall.

“I’m answering the door, someone's here!” Harry called out, I smiled knowing it was the Granger girl, she was always the first one here to any party Harry had suggested we host.

I quickly slipping on a nice apparently green dress, almost tearing up but stopping as I looked at myself in the mirror. I used my wand to put my hair up in a bun neatly, I opened a little box that sat in the corner of my section of my sink, pulling out a silver flat ring and slipping it onto my finger.

“You know i’d think Harry gets this from Lily,” Sirius croaked walking into the bathroom, only wearing boxers. “It’s nearly twelve and people are already showing up, he totally gets this from Lily,” I let out a low laugh looking at Sirius.

“Put some clothes on you monster, we have guests,” I crooked still half asleep, walking passed Sirius and out of the bathroom taking my gaze down the stairs where Harry stood talking to Hermione and a ginger boy filled with freckles top to bottom. Ron Weasley.

I waved my wand in the air, turning the lights on his the house, the red and green christmas lights turned on and decorations came to life.

“This is a lovely house Miss Black,” Hermione said watching me as I walked down the stairs, looking at the three kids.

“You can call me Stella Hermione,” I chuckled taking a glance around the room. “Come on, I’ll make you something to eat,”

“My mums already in the kitchen, my brothers and sister are around her somewhere,” Ron said shrugging his shoulders looking at me, taller than Harry and I both.

“Harry, why don’t you and your friends great the rest of your guests then gather everyone in the living room, i’ll help Ron's mother in the kitchen,” I gave Harry a pat on the back then walked passed towards the kitchen where I could already smell Mollys cooking.

“Hello dear,” Molly was turned around mixing something in a pot, she had enchanted our whole kitchen into making a feast.

“Hello Molly,” I said with a smile walking towards her, her spoon kept spinning as she let go and brought me into a hug. “How are you doing?” She whispered in my ear.

“Good, I feel old, Harry's already fourteen, Sirius and Remus I think are planning to get married, but you can’t tell anyone I told you,” I let out a low laugh letting go of Molly.

“Your telling me you feel old,” Molly laughed shaking her head. “My oldest is working at Gringotts and my other is fighting Dragons, i’m surprised my hair is still red,”

“Good morning,” Remus cheerfully said walking into the kitchen. “Molly this smells delicious,”

“There are so many people here,” Sirius cried out walking into the kitchen. “I didn’t know how many friends Harry’s gotten, but he’s got more then I thought,” a chair was pulled out and Sirius sat on the table, ignoring the chair.

“We’ve got more than enough room for a whole village Sirius,” I chuckled tapping his shoulder and walking out, I looked at Harry who was standing around in the living room, a bunch of teenagers sat in our living room.

“Cricket, come here,” I whispered aiming my head for the door and walking into the hallway. Harry followed me out. “Are you having fun?”

“Yeha yeah I am auntie Stella,” Harry said smiling from ear to ear. “Come on, I wanna introduce you to all my friends,” Harry grabbed my hand and dragged my bag in the living room, I was shocked but smiled gratefully.

“This is my Aunt Stella everyone,” Harry introduce at we walked into the room, I gave a shy smile to the pile of teenagers that looked over at me.

“Hello Stella!” The twins called out raising the hands, I let out a small laugh looking around the room.

“Aunt Stella, this is Cedric Diggory, Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom,” Harry said pointing around the room at the three boys who sat together on the couch.

“Longbottom eh?” I asked walking over to the nervous boy who looked at me as I just smiled. “Nice to meet you,” I put out my hand, shaking Nevilles then Deans then Cedrics. “Dinner is cooking by Molly, enjoy yourselves and make yourselves at home, there are more then enough rooms for whoever will be staying for the night,”

“And,” Sirius said standing at the door, I looked at him who had a smirk on his face. “Not like we have a whole firewhisky stash hidden for when Molly goes to sleep,” Sirius whispered making the twins laugh.

“Sirius,” I tapped walking towards him and shaking my head. “He’s telling the truth,” I said to the kids then pushing Sirius out of the living room.

“I’m sure they could have a few drinks, their parents obviously let them stay over, i’m sure that's enough of a confirmation,” Sirius joked shaking his head.

“Make sure the house doesn’t burn down, I have some things to do,” I said to Sirius walking away up the stairs.

“The ring,” Sirius said stopping me. “I get it,”

I looked down at my finger, looking at my ring. “We were gonna get married I hope you know, when the war was over we were going to get married, I found it under my bed with a note,” I paused holding my tears back. “He knew what he was getting himself into Sirius,”

“Hey Uncle Sirius, Aunt Stella, I was wondering if we could watch some telly,” Harry asked walking into the hallway, I walked up the rest of the stairs, tears finally fell down my face as I passed my room, walking to the end of the hall and closing myself into a empty room.

The room Sirius and I enchanted to be soundproof. I let out a scream and fell to the ground, leaning against the door and holding the ring in my hand.

“Why did you do this Regulas,” I whispered looking down at the ring that laid in my palm. “You planned a whole future then left me!” I screamed tossing the ring across the room in anger.

“Fuck,” I choked out grabbing onto the door to help myself up, walking to where I tossed the ring in angry, picking it up.

“Are you okay Aunt Stella?” Harry asked behind me. I whipped my tears away quickly and turned around with a fake smile on my face. “You usual don’t come in here when your happy,”

“I’m fine cricket,” my voice choked up as I walked over towards him. “Just having a hard time with something right now,” I placed the ring back on my finger. “Why aren’t you downstairs with your friends, I thought you were watching telly?” I asked pushing my problems back and pushing Harry in my head forward.

“I wanted to come check up on you, were you married?” Harry asked looking down at my finger.

“We were gonna get married, Regulas and I, but Harry I think you should go downstairs, you have guests,”

“Not without you aunt Stella,” Harry said grabbing my hand, I smiled letting out a low laugh.

“Okay,” The both of us walked downstairs, Harry letting go of my hand as we walked out of the room and downstairs, Sirius not in the hallway anymore.

“Are you sure your okay?” Harry asked before we walked into the living room. “I know your my aunt and you should be telling me this but we can talk about stuff,”

I laughed at Harry's cheekiness. “Another night Harry dear,” I paused hearing a faint noise, the familiar noise of Sirius shouted. “I’m gonna kill your uncle,” I mumbled opening the living room, looking at Sirius who had the twins on the floor as he poured to bottles of firewhisky into each other the mouths well Ron and Ginny were keeping look out.

I closed the door and looked back at Harry who had a big smile on his face.

“Guess someone's gotta go make sure your uncle doesn’t give anyone alcohol poisons before dinner,” I let out a belly laugh, Harry and I walked into the room and Sirius looked at us, finishing the bottle.

“Hello,” Sirius said dropping the bottles on the ground and looking at harry and I with a smile, the twins stood up without a double whipping their mouths with the firewhiskey.

“It’s not even dinner Sirius,” I laughed grabbing the bottles of empty firewhisky that laid on the ground. “The rules were after supper,”

“What fun are rules if they aren’t meant to be broken,” One of the twins winking at me, sitting down on the couch, Cedric, Dean, Neville, Hermione and now Ron and Ginny were all sat down on the couch watching telly. Harry joined them and I sat down beside Sirius, who had a flask his his hand, oddly, passing it back and forth from the twins.

“You want some?” Fred asked pushing the flask towards me, I looked around the room, then took the flask from Fred. “So hotstuff, how are you?”

I rolled my eyes looking at Sirius who just bursted out laughing, taking the flask away from me.

“You are not my type Fred Weasley,” I laughed making Sirius laugh even more. “Besides, I haven’t dated anyone in almost nineteen years, I don’t plan on starting with a sixteen year old,”

“Nineteen years,” George pipped up behind him. “Not one man has caught your eye in those nineteen years?”

“Who wants some food,” Remus asked poking his head out of the of the kitchen, immediately getting the smell of fire whisky. “Sirius. Stella, we agreed to wait tell after supper,”

“Sorry,” I put my hand up in the air catching his attention. “It was my idea, got a little two recluse,”

“Well come on, dinners ready, you four take a breath mint and sober up in two seconds,” Remus signaled the kids to walk into the kitchen and the four of us sat on the couch longer.

“Thanks,” Sirius said putting his hand on my shoulder reaching into his pocket, pulling out four tiny breath mints. “I always got them in my pocket for these emergencies,”

#RegulasBlack #Regulas Black #Regulas Black x y/n #Regulas Black x you #Regulas Black x oc #SiriusBlack #StellaBlack #RemusLupin

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fairycosmos · 4 years

Note

Sorry for bothering you angel but I have noone else to talk to.I really dont know what to do anymore. I'm so suicidal that I don't know how i'm still alive,how i'm able to breath it just doesn't feel right being alive.My mind keeps telling me to do something to end it all and I'm just numb.The worst thing is that even the closest person in my life doesn't know how bad it is bc i'm always the one to help them with their depression and im so drained.I'm just here to help other no matter how broken

hey love, i’m so sorry to hear you’re going through such a difficult time right now 😞 but you’re not bothering me at all, so don’t worry about that. firstly i really hope you’re currently in a safe environment and that you remain there, above all else. you were able to send this and reach out for some form of support even anonymously and that’s a really good sign. i’m proud of you for being here and for making it to this point, and i want to thank u for being so open with me because i know it’s not easy. secondly i really want to stress that you can’t believe anything your mind is telling you right now, seriously. one of the biggest illusions of mental illness is that it convinces you to think in black and white, to believe that everything negative is permanent and that there’s no way forward. but that’s never the case in reality. there is so much that can be done to change your habitual thinking patterns, your sense of self worth and just the general situation you’re in right now. in fact, change is inevitable if you stick around long enough to see it. it’s happening constantly, even when you don’t realise it. and so is healing and growth, even when you’re in pain too. it is entirely possible to recuperate, for happiness and peace to become a consistent theme in your future. yes, you. i know it’s probably impossible to believe in this moment but i hope you can still accept the sentiment anyway, because it’s true. and what’s more than that, you deserve it. you’re able to give your time and energy to others who are dealing with what you’re also dealing with, and that’s wonderful, but you are COMPLETELY worthy of receiving that same energy and love. i promise. if you need to take some time to focus on your own mental health rather than on those around you, then that’s perfectly fine and there’s no shame in that. it can be hard to internalize everyone else’s grief, and quite emotionally exhausting at times, so don’t let your mind make you feel bad for needing some space. it’s the most natural, human thing in the world. and i’m sure those that care for you want to hear what you’re going through too, i’m sure they want the chance to return the favour and to be there for you. you can give them that by opening up. no matter how hard it is to actually reach out, please please know that the option is always there and that you are never as alone as your mind wants you to believe. another tactic of depression is that it wants you to isolate yourself so you don’t feel the comfort of other people and their perspective, so the only thing you can believe is your own bad thoughts - but you CAN choose to subvert that urge, to talk to those around you about whats going on in your head. it’s okay. if not them, there are a lot of suicide/mental health hotlines available 24/7, and there’s also the option of talking to your doctor/a therapist/a support group to see if they can help you implement a treatment plan (if you haven’t done so already.) even if you have to force the words out, just tell them what you told me. it doesn’t have to make sense, you just have to let it out. sometimes mental illness is just as serious as physical illness and it needs real medical attention in order to overcome, and that’s alright. it’s something a lot of people go through, and it looks different for everyone. but just picking up the phone and making that appointment or talking to a loved one can make a massive difference. there is so much that can be done in terms of therapy - identifying the root causes of why you feel the way you do, giving you the tools to fight the episodes in a healthy way when they do arise - but at the end of it you CAN learn to live a happy and full life despite those days where you just want to give up. it’s a matter of time, finding the balance that suits you and getting through each day long enough to see the results of your progress.

i know it all feels like too much effort, and i’m not saying you have to do any of this right now. or that talking to someone will solve everything. and i’m very very familiar with that debilitating brand of numbness you’re describing - it makes everything genuinely feel beyond hopeless and so far away, it is so so heavy and i don’t blame you for being exhausted. but it’s also so possible for the feeling and the presence to return back to your life, one area at a time. i often think of it like my souls got pins and needles and i need to massage the numbness away with care and patience. you said you don’t know how you’re still alive - it’s because you’re supposed to be. it’s because some part of you, no matter how tired of all this shit you are, recognizes that there is a lot worth holding onto. even if your brain isn’t allowing you to see it in this moment. i hate to be cliche, but when it really comes down to it nothing would be the same without you. you exist and see this world through your unique perspective and love in your own specific way because you’re here. and no one else is you and that is more than good enough. there is so much waiting for you, man. recovery is possible in so many forms, and i’m not just saying that at all. i would fucking hate to think of you acting on your temporary emotions and only regretting it when it’s far too late to go back, and unfortunately i think that occurrence is very common in people who suffer through this sort of thing. as a person and as someone who has been given the chance to experience this world for a fraction of a moment in human history, i hope more than anything you can simply allow yourself to do that. and that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have bad days, or to hate this world sometimes because i absolutely do too. it can be hellish, and we have a right to be in pain. but that doesn’t mean we’re beyond hope and help. it doesn’t mean there aren’t a million different ways to make this all feel more manageable, one step at a time. some days getting through one minute at a time counts as a great victory, and you’ve done it a million times before. so please, if you feel like you’re in danger, please just call someone. don’t listen to your mind anymore, don’t feed into it. just get yourself to safety even if you have to act on autopilot. it’s going to be so worth it so much sooner than you think, im serious. you need some rest, maybe to practice some mindfulness and to focus your brain on some low energy positive coping mechanisms, and to let someone know how you’re doing if possible - all of this will allow you to stop spiraling inwards and start focusing on whats going on around you. i’ll leave a few links that may be of some service to you. please know that i care and that so many people do, that your life is so much more than this moment/what you’ve been through so far. if you need a friend or if you want to talk about this properly, please let me know. i’m here and i understand a lot of us do. sending so much, please stay safe above all else love. that’s all you gotta focus on right now x

https://faq.whatsapp.com/general/security-and-privacy/global-suicide-hotline-resources/

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/suicidal.htm

https://www.healthquality.va.gov/guidelines/MH/srb/OvercomingSuicidalThoughtsandFeelingsFINAL.pdf

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/depression.htm

https://www.mind.org.uk/media-a/2960/suicidal-feelings-2016.pdf

#tw suicide #tw self harm #tw suicidal thoughts #tw suicide mention #anon

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all-hail-the-witcher · 4 years

Text

nobody likes a claggy bit of cheese

this idea came to me in mid november while i was watching an episode of the great british bakeoff and crocheting a scarf for my sister while eating a very very healthy college lunch of apple sauce and caramel corn. someone (maybe it was paul) said the word “claggy” and i was like Wow That’s British. and then someone else (probably paul again) said “stodgy” and i was like WoW ThAts BriTisH. and then i was like you know who would appreciate these Very British Words?? my dumb friend who likes to pretend he's british. and thEn i was like Oh Shit what if he hosted great british bakeoff that would be energy oh my god. and i was About to text him that when i was like No Wait! instead of a baking competition it would be a Mac And Cheese competition because that's like,,,his wholes pride and joy. and then i was about to text him that but then i was like wAIT! this has fic written all over it oh my god i can see it now. and now here we are.

also mikey in case you didn't realize, you are my dumb fake british friend and this is your present but i mean its more of your persona slapped on race and i called it a day. its not a mothman shirt but it'll have to do eye guess

anywaymst

enjoy this trash pile

_________

ship: eye guess its platonic ralbert

genre: pure ass crack

warnings: uhmmm, race is an idiot, poorly written british accents, paul hollywood stare, uhhh, albert is Annoyed, jack is an idiot who makes bad mac, spot get Angryyy, idk im writing there before the fic is finished, katherine definitely knows the mafia

editing: lol that's funny

words: enough to fill a few pages but not enough to bore you to death like the metamorphosis

_________

“CHEESE!”

Blankets tornadoed around the room as Race jumped off the bed in a half awake sleepy haze, barely landing on his feet in a fight stance, wielding his phone like a weapon in front of him. He glared into the dark corners (not that he could even tell where the corners were considering that it was pitch dark) of the room before stumbling out into the hallway, muttering madly about cheese.

“Cheese...blue cheese…..string cheese…...mozzarella cheese….” Race barely heard his own half-mad whispers as he opened all the cabinets, rummaging around in the same matter a hurricane floods a basement, in a mad search for pasta. When he came up empty handed he scowled, sat himself up on the counter and yelled for the next best thing:

“ALLLLLLLBBEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRT!”

CRASH! That would be Albert falling out of bed. Race kicked his feet against the cabinet impatiently.

WHOOSH! SLAM! And there was Albert’s door opening and closing at an alarming speed.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! The pictures in the living room began to shake, announcing his arrival.

“Race?! What’s going on? Are you okay??” And there was Albert, sliding into the kitchen in nothing but a pair of socks and boxers (despite the fact that it was probably 3 degrees out), weilding a single black converse high top. Race wasn’t quite sure how the shoe was supposed to help him, but he decided to ignore it. He couldn’t afford to get distracted by Albert’s weird antics when there was a legitimate crisis at hand.

“Race…?” Albert asked again, slowly lowering his shoe. “Is everything-” “We’re out of pasta.”

“We’re- what?” The shoe Albert had been holding banged to the floor. “You’re telling me that you woke me up at” he peered at the oven clock over Race’s shoulder, “three fifteen am to tell me that we’re out of pasta?”

“It’s horrible isn’t it?” Race slammed his head into the cabinet behind him. “Now I can’t make mac and cheese!” “W h y do you want to make mac and fucking cheese at three fifteen in the goddamn morning?!”

“BECAUSE ALBERT-” Race jumped down off the counter, “-I had a dream. A dream where I was competing on The Great British Bakeoff and I made my Famous mac and cheese. And Paul Hollywood, the man, the legend h i m s e l f, tasted my humble mac and said ‘Race. That is amazing.’ And gave me a handshake! And I was so honored that I awoke hungry for the wonderful, delicious, creamy taste of mac and cheese. So I wander into the kitchen and what do I find? A fridge full of cheese, but no pasta to be found!” He stepped closer to Albert, planting his hand firmly on his shoulder. “This is an emergency!”

Albert swatted away Race’s hand and rubbed his eyes, already turning back toward his room. “If Paul Hollywood deemed your mac and cheese so amazing then just hold a competition of your own and make other people make mac and cheese for you. That way I don’t have to go to Walgreens at three thirty.” He glanced back over his shoulder. “I’m going back to bed. Don’t make us lose our security deposit.”

Race stood in stunned silence as Albert disappeared down the hall and his door closed.

“That sleep deprived idiot might actually be onto something,” he muttered, launching himself onto one of the bar stools and opening his laptop. He had work to do.

•••

“You know, when I told you to host your own mac and cheese competition I thought I dreamt that entire encounter, and, now that I realize that I definitely didn’t, I especially didn't expect you to make me host it, and I certainly didn’t expect you to make me wear this dumb costume.” He tugged uncomfortably at the dark blazer and black wig.

“Oi mate, if you’re gonna be Sue yew gotta start actin like ‘er!” Race glared.

“But Race-”

“Thas Paul Hollywood to you. I don want none uh this ‘Race’ business,” he crossed his arms and gave Al his best Steely Eyed, Paul Hollywood Glare.

Albert just rolled his eyes and stomped off.

Race sighed happily as he turned to survey the tent in front of him. He had called Katherine last night after his missing pasta crisis and asked if he could use her Dad’s Hampton’s estate to host a mock version of the Great British Bakeoff but for mac and cheese. Katherine, like any good rebellious daughter, had loved the idea and called several of her “contacts” that apparently “owed her favors.” (Race didn’t understand the life of rich people, it seemed very extravagant and two-faced) And that was how Race had come to be standing in a tent with what could very well be the set up of the Great British Bakeoff laid out in front of him with he himself dressed in his very best blue button down and jeans, a spitting image of Paul Hollywood. Well, maybe Paul Hollywood 30 years ago.

His friends that he had invited on to be the contestants of the show were setting up at their stations. There was Jack, Davey, Romeo, Mush, Blink, Finch, Buttons, Specs, JoJo, Spot, Crutchie, and Smalls. Katherine had opted not to participate and instead film everyone to make it seem more like the actual show.

Someone (probably Katherine) had forced Albert to stand next to him to announce the signature challenge that they had prepared.

“Alright bakers-”

Race shot him a side glance.

“-er, mac and cheese cookers?” he tried to amend. “Today Ra-uh, Paul would like you to make a nice, hefty batch of mac and cheese. You may use whatever ingredients you would like, but he would like it to be cheesy, delicious, and contain pasta. You have 45 minutes.” Race could practically hear the sigh in his voice. “On your marks, get set, ba-cOOK!”

Finally, Race thought as his friends scrambled around their respective stations, I’m going to get some good mac.

•••

It was becoming very clear very quickly that Race may not actually be getting any good mac.

He wandered from station to station, Albert following begrudgingly behind him, progressively becoming more and more disappointed in each and every one of his friends. Didn’t any of them know how to cook?

“Roight Jack.” He leaned on the one empty scrap of counter in front of him. “What are yew makin?”

“It’s a surprise.” Jack - well he assumed it was Jack, he couldn’t really be sure with all the flour flying everywhere - ran around his workspace, which was crowded with every ingredient imaginable, from shredded cheese to, was that maple syrup?

“Jack for the sake of the show yew gotta tell us what yew’re makin.” Jack must not have the braincell today.

From somewhere in the flour cloud a timer went off. Jack yelped and dropped what sounded like several pots with an amazingly loud clatter.

“If you really must know - ouch!! - I’m making - god fUCK! - baked mac and cheese with a - SHIT! - crispy top.”

“Alright well,” Albert dodged a flying blob of flaming cheese, “we’ll leave you to it. Hopefully we get to actually eat something edible.”

“Good luck,” Race turned away from Jack’s workstation and leaned towards Albert as they made their way to Mush’s station. “Do we ave a foire extinguishah here?”

“I think so?”

“Good cause we moight need it.” Albert looked at him knowingly for a long minute before the two of them snapped out of it and approached Mush.

“So Mush,” Race said, taking in the polar opposite of the mess of a station that had been Jack’s, “what ave yew got for us?”

Mush smiled, looking up from the block of cheese that he had been grating. “Today I’m going to be making my signature mac and cheese with three kinds of cheese.”

Race let out an audible sigh of relief. Finally something that sounded edible!

“Is that pleasing enough for you, Your Highness?” Mush winked mischievously and Albert giggled.

Race straightened up, checking his mouth for drool (there was none). “Yes, oim looking forward tew it.” He watched as the cheese mush was grating flaked satisfyingly into the bowl, his mouth watering at the very sight and thought of cheese. Oh cheese. Beautiful, rich, delicious cheese. “Oi would like tew sample some cheese if yew don't mind.”

Mush straightened up, putting his hands around his cheese protectively. “And I want someone to slap me so hard my eyes fall out. We can’t all get what we want, Susan B. Anthony.”

“Hollywood, moi name is Paul Hollywood.” Race glared at Mush, horrified that he would decline him the judge a cheese sample! Paul Hollywood always got ingredient samples when he asked for them! Maybe he should have put more effort into his hair today…

“I know very well who you are,” Mush went back to grating his cheese. It was as if he were mocking Race with every bit of shredded goodness that fell onto the glorious cheese mountain.

“I do believe you’ve upset Mr. Hollywood.” Albert smirked. Of course he had to join in on the make-Race-feel-like-hes-being-mocked party.

“I don’t particularly care about Mr. Hollywood’s feelings,” Mush put down the grater and reached under his counter for a pan. “What I do care about is the fate of my mac and cheese so,” he stared at the two of them, deadpan , “be gone Thots.”

“But-”

“I SAID BE GONE THOTS!” Mush pointed a wooden spoon at the two of them menacingly and Race half expected sparks to shoot out of the end like some kind of sorcery bullshit, but all he got was a cloud of flour to the face and twelve sets of confused eyes looking at him.

“Uhh,” he mustered every ounce of Paul Hollywood that he could, “thank yew Mush.” Quickly he turned away, brushing the flour out of his sharpied on beard and mustache while Albert stifled laughter next to him. “Shut up,” he muttered.

“But that was-”

“Oi said shut- oh hoi Smalls!” He tried desperately to regain his composure as they approached the final station.

“Gucci Prada my fuckin clown wig I- oh, uh, hi!” Smalls quickly put the spatula that she had been holding behind her back.

“What are yew makin for uh today?” Race took in Smalls’s station. There was a wide array of cheese on the counter, we well as spices and breadcrumbs and pasta. But something seemed...different.

Smalls looked down at her feet, suddenly very interested in the carpet.. “I’m making gluten free baked mac and cheese.”

“Why gluten free?”

“Because,” Smalls glanced behind her briefly before hissing, “because that was the only kind of pasta I could find in my cabinet that's why you feet fucker.”

Race’s toes tingled with happiness. He do it! He could say the trademark Paul Hollywood meme thing!

“Now, when yew make mac and cheese gluten free it tends to get stickey and lose some of its taiste. Ave yew tested this to make sure that wont appen?”

“Y e s,” Smalls rolled her eyes. “I put extra oil in it so the pasta wont get sticky a n d there’s lots of spices for added flavor.” She brought her spatula out from behind her back in a soldiers salute. “I won’t disappoint you, your Highness Mr. Paul Hollywwod Sir.”

“Yew bettah not,” Race laughed as he walked back to his very official looking director’s chair (he didn’t want to know how many people Katherine had had to kill to get this).

“Sue, how much toime is left?”

“TEN MINUTES COOKERS, TEN MINUTES!”

There were varying screams of frustration from around the room as his friends scrambled to get done. The smell of cooking cheese wafted from several ovens and stoves and Race smiled contentedly. Twas almost Mac Time.

•••

Ten minutes later, as promised, Race was standing behind a Very Official looking wooden table with a fork and a glass of water, ready to taste (or spit out, depending on whose it was), his friends’ mac and cheese.

“Oilright, Davey, why don’t yew bring up yewr mac.”

Davey strode up to the table confidently, somehow without a spec of food on his apron, and placed down a plate of gooey looking pasta. Man oh man he was excited! But no, today he was Paul Hollywood. No excitement. Only glares.

He picked up his fork and took a scoop of pasta, glaring at Davey for good measure as he tasted.

He chewed for far longer than actually necessary to give Davey just enough time to get nervous before giving his verdict. “Whot yew’ve actually done is quite noice, Oi rather loike the blend of the cheddar and the goat cheese, but what yew’ve done is create something that’s so soft that its lacking textah. It’s loike Oi need somethin crunchy to offset it.”

Davey nodded. “Okay.”

“But overall noice job.” He nodded, the silent cue for Davey to take his dish and return to his station.

Race surveyed the contestants and grimaced. “Jack bring yew’re flamin bomb up here.”

He thought he heard Jack mutter some half-decent curses under his breath, but not decent enough for him to repeat.

A few seconds later a lump of orange stuff with green (???) blobs on top on a plate was placed in front of him. “Roight,” he sighed. “What ave yew got there?”

“Well this is my baked mac and cheese with green goldfish topping!” Jack said proudly.

Race looked at the plate as if it were a flesh eating disease that could kill him at any second. And, knowing Jack’s track record with food, it just might. “Any reason why you chose green goldfish?”

“Adds a pop of color!” Jack bounced on his toes.

Good gosh. Race took the tiniest bite possible on his fork and lifted it to his mouth-

“Make sure you get a goldfish!” Jack insisted. “Really adds a burst of flavor!”

“Oh sure, sure.” Race picked one up before shoving the whole abomination into his mouth. He chewed for a few seconds before swallowing down as best as he could.

“Wow that is pitiful,” Race coughed. “The pasta is overcooked, and the cheese, yew’ve cooked it too much so that it’s become gummy, and all the moistah has gone into the goldfish and made them soggy.”

“Oh,” Jack sounded deflated.

“Overall the textah is a bit claggy, and no one loikes a claggy bit of cheese.”

“Right, right.” Jack stroked his invisible beard.

“Overall its dreadful and Oi’d loike it if you removed it from my sights, preferably to the bin. Next!”

•••

Almost a half hour later Race was practically done testing all of the mac and cheese, save for Mush’s and Smalls’s. Along with Jack’s trashpile, Spot’s had also been notably horrible, it was somehow burnt and undercooked at the same time? Race didn’t even want to know. Crutchie’s and JoJo’s though had been surprisingly decent, and both were in the running to win.

“Oilroight Smalls, bring up yewr mac why don’t yew.”

A few moments later a plate of mac and cheese was dumped in front of Race with no class whatsoever. “Here you go Mr. Paul Sir.”

Race stabbed his fork into the pile of noodles. “This was the gluten free baked mac and cheese, roight?” “Yes your highness.”

Race rolled the noodles around on his tongue for a few long moments while his taste buds analyzed the flavor combinations.

“Roight so, I warned yew about this bein tasteless roight?” Smalls quirked up her eyebrow. “It’s tasteless isn’t it.”

“Yes. Get it away from me at once.”

“Of course, your lordship.” Smalls snatched the plate from the table, even curtsying to Race before making her way back to her station, picking up a fork, and digging into her own mac and cheese.

“I don't know what you’re talking about Mister Colonel Hollywood Sir, this tastes great!”

Race bushed imaginary crumbs off of his table. “And Oi’m goin tew pretend Oi didn’t hear that.” He pointed to Mush. “Mush, bring up yewr creation, if yew pleathe.”

“But of course!” Mush placed down his plate of mac and cheese in front of Race, who dug in immediately. “What you have there is parmesan, cheddar, and american cheese with elbow pasta. Enjoy.”

Race let the glorious noodles glide over his tongue as his palate was enveloped in a wonderful cheese flavor. He was amazed. He was astounded. Hell he was even speechless! What did Paul Hollywood do when he was speechless? Oh right!

“Well done Mush,” he stuck out his hand for the famous Paul Hollywood Handshake. “That’s a really great plate you’ve made.”

“Oh, thank you sir!” Mush smiled joyfully as Albert tried to sneak a bite of the mac and cheese. Race swatted his hand away with his other hand.

“In fact, it’s the best that Oi’ve had today, and Oi announce yew as Star Cooker!”

The room erupted into cheers and everyone ran to hug Mush while Race quickly finished his mac and cheese. His plan had worked perfectly. The next time he was out of pasta at three am he knew exactly who to call.

•••

“Hello? Do you need help burying the body?” A tired voice answered the phone.

“Mush, it’s Race. I’m craving mac and cheese and I don't have any pasta. Can you-”

“NO!”

_________

so how bout that huh

anyway sappy boi hours heh i love mikey and im real happy that were friends cause he's the absolute best and i cant wait to meet him next week eeee

feedback is always appreciated hmu to be on the tag list

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#saphie scribbles #newsies #newsies fic #ralbert #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #this is not a christmas fit its just a christmas present #*fic #heh #luv you my milky tot #;)#grandpapi #papi #suburban papi #oatmeal aesthetic dad #daddy #cricket feet #u make my feet tingle with happiness #SIX DAYS MAN

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cthulhuofficial · 4 years

Text

October 27, 2020

Made some progress climbing out of this pit I’ve been in. Some realizations:

1. I’m going through a HELL OF A LOT right now. COVID, wildfires, and the election certainly, but also buying a house, getting engaged, an impending move, even Sean burning his hands this weekend and the woman we helped move to flee her abusive relationship last week. Some positive, some negative, some very negative stressors - but they’re all stressors. It was just a coincidence that the breaking point was burning the pancakes (I can laugh about it now).

2. I feel a bit like I felt when I first moved to Fort Collins. I was out of my element, adjusting to working from home 60% of the week and missing my coworkers, moving from in-person to remote gaming, not having any friends that weren’t over an hour away - and I realized that instead of shaming myself for feeling so unstable and needy and delicate, I should give myself grace to adjust to a difficult new situation. With grace, I hope, will come self-compassion.

3. I believe mindfulness would solve like, three of my problems right now. I think that the reason my downtime never feels fulfilling or restorative or relaxing is because I am never enjoying it; what I’m actually doing is going through the motions of the activity (e.g. doing yoga) while my brain is making endless todo lists and crafting new hypothetical catastrophes for me to worry about. As my therapist said, “Focus on the What Is, not the What If.”

It’s a shame, because Sean is so excited about the new house, and I am, too, in theory, but when he thinks about it, he just feels excited about us making a home together, whereas when I think about it, I think about making a home, but then jump to how we want to replace the countertops and finish the basement, which then makes me think of how much $$$$ that’s gonna cost, which then makes worry about losing my job and not being able to pay the mortgages. How exhausting to barely be able to dwell on a positive thing without a tidal wave of stressors coming behind it! No wonder I’m feeling stretched thin and overwhelmed. There’s a time and a place to think about finances, certainly, but it doesn’t have to be every conversation Sean and I have about the house!

4. Continuing with the mindfulness theme, I think that I may be a better cook if I slow down a little bit, spend some extra time before I start cooking just prepping the ingredients (even if it means extra dishes and that the meal gets done later), and plan things out. And then pay attention to what I’m doing! I also think a good deal of my clumsiness is actually due to my trying to do too many things at once as well. I’ll have a glass of water in one hand and see, like a dish or two on the table I want to put in the dishwasher, and I’ll carry the glass of water with me while I’m picking up and putting dishes in the dishwasher and often spill the water or nearly drop the dishes. Just put the glass down, girl!! It’s like I don’t even pay attention to what my whole body is doing because I’m always thinking 1+ step ahead instead of focusing on the step I’m on now.

5. I’ve had a couple moments today where I employed this “54321“ strategy where you notice 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste. Once over my morning coffee, once over my lunch, and once on a short walk outside. It really anchors me in that moment. I’m also trying more “advanced” techniques like: noticing negative sensations as well as positive ones, but not dwelling on them or making judgments. For instance, on my walk today, two of the things I felt were how cold I was and how much my left shoulder ached - but I felt accepting of the moment as it was instead of straining to change those things. It was just a moment. Another “advanced” technique is not naming what you sense. Sometimes I get caught up in a sensation and I try so hard to define it in language that I have that I get distracted from the moment, like straining so hard to hold onto something slippery that you squeeze it out of your own grasp. So being able to be say to myself “I hear that” and leave it at that so you can actually enjoy that is... important.

6. I’ve also just gotta be more careful of negative self-talk. Even if I am not feeling great about myself right now - fake it til you make it is truly the way it goes with therapy ime. You have to start training those neural pathways, even if it feels fake or wrong right now, cus eventually your brain will come around. And it’s a battle you have to fight every day. I have been losing ground lately because I’ve been overwhelmed, but this is my line in the sand and I’m going to fight back.

I am worthy of love.

Quick Five Things I’m Grateful For Today:

1. I did great at work! Successful demo!

2. My therapist, Lisa.

3. Dan Stevens’ reading of Frankenstein, because it’s really coming alive for me. I’m grateful to be able to connect so deeply with art.

4. My lizard and my cat for bringing me so much awe and joy every day.

5. My parents, who are offering to deep-clean our condo for a housewarming gift! So generous!

#a #a journals

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galoots · 5 years

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Team Uncle Week 2019 - Day Two: Teasing Donald and his classmate, Daisy, are working on a school project at the McDuck Manor. And these two obviously have it bad for one another. Politely, Scrooge waits until after Daisy leaves to mercilessly clown on his beloved nephew.

Scrooge carefully picked his way through an obstacle course of scattered sheets, uncapped markers, open textbooks, glue sticks, and vials of glitter that littered the floor. His previously pristine living room now resembled the desolate battlefield of some craft-related war. Not that he particularly minded a little mess as long as Donald and his little study partner were getting their project done. Duckworth, however, would surely have a fit if he laid eyes upon this catastrophic mess.

He reached the couch just as the kids re-entered the living room. Both Donald and Daisy were carrying armfuls of fresh school supplies, backup munitions to bolster their existing armaments. Donald’s greeting was cut short when a stray marker underfoot caused him to lose his footing, sending him crashing to the ground. With an elegant sidestep, Daisy avoided the trajectory of Donald’s fall and watched his supplies spill everywhere.

“Hello Mr. McDuck.” She greeted him politely while using her sneaker-clad foot to jostle Donald’s prone body, making sure he was still alive.

His uncle fought back a sigh. Ever since that boy had hit his growth spurt, he’d become an accident waiting to happen. He’d been clumsy before, but puberty compounded his bungling into something extraordinary. A regular bull in a china shop.

Scrooge suppressed the urge to rush to his nephew’s side to check on him like he would whenever he took a spill as a tot. The last thing he wanted to do was embarrass Donald in front of his new objet d’affection. Still, he couldn’t conceal a sympathetic wince when Donald’s chin collided with the hardwood floor.

He cleared his throat loudly to distract Daisy from the spectacle of a flustered Donald scrambling to collect himself. “So how goes the project, kiddos?”

“G-good!” Donald was crouched now, trying to play off his fall as if it hadn’t happened and gathering up the items he’d spilled. “We, uh, we’ve been working hard. A+ material for sure!”

Daisy made a smug little noise at that remark. “I’ve been working hard he means. Donald here—” she flipped his bangs teasingly with her hand, “—keeps zoning out and staring off into space.”

“Not true!” He stopped cleaning up in order to playfully yank her tied shoelaces undone. “I wrote the whole section about the socio-political fallout that lead to the dawn of WWII!”

“Hey!” Daisy cried with mock offense at his retribution and bumped him with her hip in response. “Only ‘cause I had to nag you last night to work on it instead of bombarding me with IM’s.”

A small knowing smile crept on to Scrooge’s face while he watched their cute repartee over the folded edge of his newspaper. They’d only befriended each other recently but almost immediately established a familiar coquettish rapport with one another. Scrooge wasn’t the most perceptive duck in the flock, but even he knew puppy love when it was staring him in the face. He watched their spectacle with subtle attention while the two of them—absorbed in laughter and chatter, shy accidental brushes of the hand, exchanges of coy smiles and glances—forgot entirely about his presence in the room.

He let their steady banter coupled with the soft scratch of pencil lead on paper serve fade to the background of his focus as he turned back to his reading. The two of them were well-suited for each other it seemed, since they were able to make steady progress on their project despite their flirting.

Time passed pleasantly as the hour grew later, marked by the steady fading of the light outside. Having noticed the change, Daisy checked her wristwatch and began to pack up her things. “I gotta get home.” She swung her backpack over her shoulder and stood up, smoothing her skirt as she did so.

“Already?” Donald complaint was tinged with disappointment. No doubt their time together seemed excruciatingly short from his point of view.

Daisy nudged him with her shoulder. “It’s late! If I stay any later my mom will flip. She’ll think I skipped town with some hunky guy or something.”

Donald opened his beak to ready a response, but Scrooge intervened, asking Daisy if she needed a ride home before his nephew could utter a word. He knew his nephew well enough to know when he was about to insert his foot into his mouth. It was for his own good anyway—he doubted Donald’s remark about the identity of that hunky guy being a certain teen-aged duck would have been successful.

Scrooge threw his newspaper onto the couch as he hastily moved to prevent disaster. “So, need a ride home, Daisy?”

“No thanks, Mr. McDuck. I rode my bike here.”

“Alright,” Scrooge yielded, “Just see to it you get home safely, alright? I don’t want to read about a reckless driver’s collision with cyclist because of low visibility in tomorrow’s paper.”

“I’ll be fine, Mr. McDuck. I got those reflective stickers on my bike.” She smiled at him, pleased that he cared enough to worry about her.

Like the courteous gentleman Scrooge raised Donald to be, he walked their guest to the door to see her out. Scrooge trailed behind, letting Donald hold the door open for her while they exchanged pleasantries. As Daisy took off down their driveway, she waved to them both before finally pedaling out of sight.

Donald waved dreamily at her retreating figure and said, in a voice too quiet for her to hear, “Bye, Daisy.”

Scrooge smirked at his love-sick nephew. Turning to head back inside, Donald caught his uncle’s smug little grin.

“What?” Donald shut the door behind him, noticing Scrooge’s impish grin.

He didn’t want to tease his nephew about his crush when she was present, but now that she was gone? It was a no-holds barred moosewood stadium freestyle goofing sesh, and Scrooge was ready to bring the heat.

“Oh, nothing…” He swung his cane nonchalantly in the air on his way back to the living room, eager for Donald to take the bait.

Donald jogged after him, a perturbed, suspicious look fixed on his face. “What are you smiling about?”

Scrooge sat gingerly back down on the couch. Hook, line, and sinker. Time for the games to begin. “Can’t a man smile in his own home?”

Donald eyed him with apprehension, let out a hmph, and bent down to start tidying the mess he’d left on the living room floor.

Crossing his ankle over his knee, Scrooge tittered to himself. “That Daisy of yours is quite the nice young gal, isn’t she?”

Right on cue, Donald blushed and stammered nervously. “She’s fine! I guess. Whatever, its not like I like her or anything. I mean, I like her but not like, like-like her. She’s just a girl! Who happens to be a friend!”

Scrooge hummed, sounding unconvinced. His nephew ducked his head bashfully, focusing his attention on his cleaning efforts.

He tapped a finger against his chin, peering down at Donald. “You know, Tennyson said Spring was the time a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love. I think he may be mistaken; the season’s clearly fall.”

Dropping his armful of stationery, Donald squawked. “I don’t love her!”

Chuckling, Scrooge swatted Donald’s head lightly with his rolled-up newspaper. “I was discussing poetry, nephew. You should be the expert. You are the designated poet in this family, after all.”

Grumbling loudly, Donald started to pack up the arts and crafts supplies even faster.

“Speaking of, you haven’t given me one of your poems to read in a while. Yet, I always see you scribbling away in that notebook of yours…”

Donald abruptly stood, eyes wide, and brow furrowed, briskly walking out the room. Following in quick pursuit, Scrooge wheeled around the corner into the parlor. Donald was already making his way up the stairs, beating a hasty retreat to his room.

He called after him good-naturely, enjoying the sport. “What’s the matter, nephew? No blason? No sonnets?” Scrooge puffed out his chest, thudding a fist against it, recited pompously, “My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun…”

“Shut it!” Donald leaned over the banister, waist against the railing, to shout angrily at his uncle. “That’s not even what that sonnet’s about! It’s a satirical send-up of the poetic conventions of courtly love! God!”

Scrooge’s laughter echoed up the staircase and down the hall Donald was trying to cross as fast as he could. Motivated, Scrooge ignored the pain in his hip to catch up with his nephew. He swung an arm over the boy’s shoulder, pulling him so close their cheeks were smushed together. “Ah young love! You never forget your first love. It’s special you know.”

With a violent shrug, Donald escaped from his uncle’s hold and stomped off towards his bedroom, quickly flinging the door closed. He hadn’t escaped the onslaught however, because Scrooge had wedged his cane between the door and its frame before it could close. Donald leaned his weight on the door, trying to keep Scrooge out, but his uncle still outclassed him when it came to strength, and he slid forward as Scrooge pushed the door open. He strolled in like he owned the place, continuing on like he hadn’t just strong-armed his way past Donald’s defenses.“Although I suppose Mickey was your first love. Oh my, he isn’t upset about this, is he?”

“I’ve told you a million times, Uncle Scrooge! We were friends! We were never together! I don’t even like boys!” Donald squeaked out through the thick of his embarrassment.

“Ah, is that why I found you two locked in a passionate kiss that one time?”

Donald covered his bright-red face with his hands and, with a phrase now commonplace in their household, whined, “It wasn’t what it looked like!” He whipped around shoving fruitlessly at his uncle’s back. “Get out of my room! Go away!”

“Oh no,” Scrooge melodramatically exclaimed, throwing a hand to his forehead in an imitation of a faint. “I feel weak, Donald!” He leaned his weight against Donald’s hands.

“No, you’re not! Leave me alone!”

“Donald, m’boy, my body’s growing heavy. I can’t seem to move at all! How curious!” Donald was supporting his uncle’s weight now as Scrooge went limp. His arms shook with strain as he protested.

“If you don’t love me, Donnie, I do believe I’ll expire right here on the spot!”

“No, you won’t! Cut it out!”

“I’m dying…” Scrooge slumped completely against Donald. “I’m dead…” They flopped onto the bedspread as Donald’s arms gave out, and Scrooge sat on top of his nephew, pinning him to the bedspread with his weight.

“Get offa me!” Donald struggled, kicking his legs and waggling his arms, but couldn’t break free. Frustrated, he buried his head in his duvet, grumbling furious remarks into the fabric.

Well that wouldn’t do, Scrooge thought. He wanted a happy Donald, not a grumpy one. Fortunately, he knew the perfect solution. Scrooge grabbed the boy’s ankle, confining his leg between his arm and his side, and started tickling the underside of Donald’s foot. Immediately, Donald burst into hysterical laughter, his body shaking with his guffaws while he squirmed to try and get away.

It didn’t take long for Donald to yield, crying, “Uncle! Uncle!”

Unfortunately for him, Scrooge loved a good pun. “Yes, I am your uncle. What of it?” Scrooge grinned with devilish glee at his own joke.

“I mean I give! Lemme go!”

Finally, Scrooge ceased his efforts, watching Donald’s slight frame shake with residual laughter. He freed him from his hold, moving his weight off the boy and onto the mattress so the lad could catch his breath. When his breathing had evened out, Scrooge looped an arm around Donald’s neck, pulling him into a loose headlock so he could noogie him. By then, Donald had given up trying to escape his uncle’s little wrestling match. He was too tired to fight back anymore and chose to lay limply in his uncle’s grasp like a dead fish.

“You’re so mean, Uncle Scrooge.” Donald’s complaint had no bite behind it just the fond exasperation of a child dealing with a parent.

“Oh, come now, I only tease because I love you, dear.” He planted a gentle kiss on top of Donald’s captive head.

“Yeah, whatever.” Donald apathetically replied, before adding, in a quiet, rushed voice, “It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything but, um, Iloveyoutoo.”

Scrooge said nothing, smiling down happily at his nephew, who returned his loving gaze with a small shy smile of his own. It was a perfect moment—the kind you’d like to freeze in its tracks so you could tack up the memory in your mind like a snapshot. But time flowed on, and the peaceful little bubble was popped by a warbling cry of despair of a posh British voice that rang from downstairs. What happened to my living room?!”

“Uh oh. Puppa sounds mad,” Donald mumbled, realizing with a gasp why. “We forgot about the mess!”

“Woops.” Scrooge replied with dry dismay.

They exchanged a look, communicating wordlessly with one another. We’re really in for it now.

#duckverse #disney ducks #duck comics #donald duck #scrooge mcduck #teamuncleweek2019 #day two #loots duck universe #LDU

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gg-astrology · 5 years

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What do you suggest for those who are beginners in astrology? Like how can they improve their learnings more?

Hey there!! 💞💞💞💞 Aaah what a great question!! 💞💞 Thanks so much for asking and giving me opportunity to talk about it!!!! 💞💞This can probably apply to ppl who aren’t beginner-beginner too?? 💞💞It might be good for?? content creators?? as well?? Maybe?? 💞💞

Tips for learning/progressing into astro (maybe??) 🌟

Check the ‘astro asks masterlist’ for stuff on jus… learning astro?? this also for astro, but more/extended??? something you might wanna hear if you’ve been feeling down/demotivated lately or jus need a lil pick me up/kick in the bum – for general stuff, community, things we can do/things we should guard, etc 💞

🚫long post 🚫

Keep an open mind? 💞 It’s easy to get swept up in something/join a set of mentality/believe it’s right because it’s there and people believe it or you have experience™️ that ‘justify’ the thing (‘its what i see so it’s what i believe/know’) Do your research, don’t categorize/group things together, learn to dissect and differentiate. Try not to be prejudice/keep an open heart and mind (it’s not that hard to do, you just gotta ‘check’ yourself for it) 💞💞

What you’re exposed to influences your take on subjects/topics, so be discerning and critical that you aren’t grouping things together or taking it as it is. Learning isn’t just about?? our senses right?? So combine it together (balance it out) and try not to close your opinion/guard yourself up alright (mind v senses v heart v doing stuff v learning things and retaining knowledge)? 💞

There’ll be interpretation that connects with you and those you just ‘take’ as ‘I don’t get it but it seems right’ – make sure to find out why you don’t get it. It’s a hint that there’s a reasoning/way to explain it that rings closer to you. You might be a person who understands certain things explained a certain way, you might not.

Figure out a way to resonate with the hypothesis, because then you understand it and you’re on top of how to interpret it.

If someone proposes a limitation or different interpretation for it, you can adjust and learn how to incorporate it into your understanding better as well (because you get it, you understand it. It’s personal to you now – we have 12 signs in our chart it’s just a matter of connecting that knowledge together and knowing what it means as well) 💞

Find your own way of saying what you mean. Nothing is stagnant as it seems, it’s always like a little buoy in the middle of the sea when it comes to certain subject make sure to express that out and measure where you are on that sea-level as well.

Support others, or at least try not to be a dick to them over things 💞 This is also in-line with reaching out to others and not trying to go through shit alone 💞 How does this relate to learning astro? We might not think we need people but wow does it help a hell lot (and also we do need people?? that’s a– thing?? astrology vs astronomy)💞

Have a good connective system, mutuals, friends. Be open to people and treat others the way you want to be treated 💞 Have someone to support you, catch you out on your shit or help you re-think/brainstorm the way you handle or react to stuff (buddy-system it if you can) 💞

Knowing that someone can give you a second glimpse, double-check and wishes well for you/is in your corner helps tremendously even though logically we might not ‘need it’ (if you don’t want a ‘study buddy’ or ‘group study’ then that’s perfectly ok??💞💞 jus make sure you have someone supportive of you and your interests, people who won’t tear you down if you manifest yourself??

Reach out to others, it helps. But don’t use them for resource?? that’s just– a shitty thing to do with people if you don’t want to have a genuine interaction with them.💞

You’d be surprised at how many people we might hold dear might tear you down?? Don’t wanna scare you so you can skip if you want. But whether they do it consciously or not, make sure to find and genuinely appreciate the things you’re doing, the way you work/think.

If you’re the person who others appreciate the way you work/think/what you’re doing— make sure you aren’t tearing others down. This is a thing?? Whether you’re doing it unconsciously or if you start going ‘maybe I can do this better than them, maybe I can grow/get more appreciated’ — don’t. It’s that kind of egoistical arrogance that’s going to hurt others/your friend.

You’re not supporting, you’re using them. Even if you think you’re bubbling well on your own/minding your own business (there’s a time/place for that)– it’s still a community of people you’re influencing.

Try to be socially responsible, it’s not that bad and it is something you’d rather be safe than sorry about y know (being well-informed socially and using that for the better?)💞

Learn how to appreciate and support, how to let people thrive. Learn how to ‘check’ yourself and stop acting out of your own fears/lashing out onto others as well. Most of the time it’s your own experience (or insecurities) that’s making you push others down like that. You’re going to lose more friends and opportunity if you keep doing it– so make sure to get some motivation, some support (if you need that), use your voice in the community well as well.

Brings us back to the point earlier: treat others the way you treat yourself, if others treat you with appreciation and compliment – give the same energy back?? 💞 Learning astro also depends on the community too right? So how do you want to be treated within the community/how do you treat the community?

It’s not just knowledge, it’s also self-growth. If we want to have self-love/care/help/growth, we gotta learn how to act harmoniously with others as well. Nothing ‘self’ related is ever truly done with just ourselves, it’s how we invest, how we treat others and how others treat us (keep trying even if you fall, keep trying. We got trump but we’re still trying, right? Stop giving up hope.)

Learn how to navigate it, instead of trying to fight it (putting the self first or others first//imbalance) Act with consciousness, the more you’re aware of how you behave/react the more you can learn how to be emotionally intelligent and socially active as well 💞

Your best resources are the people around you as well, sometimes it’s not just books or what you read online. How people conduct, react, how they insert themselves into the narrative/your life will influence what you think about them and how they think about you.

Try to realize that we are bias, because we’re essentially human. Even when we look at things ‘detached from the ego’/well-reasoned we’re still human. No matter how unbiased/knowledgeable we think/know we are, we can’t escape the inevitable nature of our species. So the most we can do is try to keep it together ok and try to be considerate/nice (learn to let others love you/love others, is sometimes harder than learning how to ‘love yourself’)💞

If you’re more of the traditional astrologer type (heavy learning and theory, history, really fun and exciting!) — people are appreciative of things, old or new, it never hurts to keep an open-mind about stuff 💞

Some might not even realize it’s an option, and while people might be (everyone) ‘well thats our/their fault they should’ve researched’ – it’s good to consider that sometimes our modern day life doesn’t always open certain doors up to us all at the same time (we all learn different things at a different time/place in our lives) – so make room for yourself to be curious and to grow, don’t stay stagnant in what you already know and is trying to ‘perfect’ (bc perfection is always improved, more and more as we gain more time/age/perspective as well)💞

Theres always room to grow, there’s always room to learn more. But realizing that you’re over-stepping boundaries and making other people uncomfortable with your interpretation is also a thing.It’s?? something we should consider 💞

Just try to be considerate of others, and be aware of how much you insert/hold yourself back, how you conduct yourself and what your influence does to others as well 💞 Have people you talk to, who can lift you up and encourage you because you deserve it (make sure they’re ok with that too and try not to pile it onto one person ok?) 💞

Don’t stop trying 💞

Low-key that’s kinda like how we behave with politics? Either we ‘dont care either way’ (which is shit for the community/direction we’re going), cares only for the self/personal gain (cough *the 1%* cough), is well-informed and feels shitty about the situation we’re in right now (depressed, suffering, either protesting or lies in bed thinking about giving up) or is just… y know, HOPEFUL but also angry and wanting to be proud of our community and ourselves (prosper/thrive stuff like that) 💞💞

Try to be socially conscious, if you’re down/drained, look out for your happiness/your own health first (pls care for your own health/well-being) 💞 For me, finding a buddy or supportive mutual works. I can’t invest time into everybody but those who I have genuine connections with, I try to keep up as much as tumblr messaging app would tell me I have a notification (it doesn’t sometimes) 💞💞

Tips maybe more specific for beginners/intermediate?? 💞

(might be more relevant? But I’m not sure what type of beginner we are because there’s– a few? But this is the main bulk so maybe give this a read even if you’re not a beginner too)

Premise: Everything below this is after the assumption that we allread up stuff, study about the subject, research things already and is starting somewhere/in the process of starting (already interested in astro)

*I wasn’t thinking about complete COMPLETE beginner who mayhaps might’ve just discovered there’s things beyond the sun-sign (for those that are💞: im sorry ;; I think there’s a post for that too somewhere on my blog maybe skdjnk 💞)

So for those who are beginner astro: Practice 💞Can’t emphasize this enough 💞 We might be self-conscious about our skills, but your biggest critic is yourself and your ego/mood (or lack of it)? 💞Just try practicing it 💞

Theoretical knowledge might get you somewhere, but we also need to know how to apply them 💞 Try to figure out how to read/interpret as you go 💞Sometimes people are like ‘uh oh, red flag. You can’t just let any lunatics out there.’ So this is out of the assumptions that you’ve been a very very theory based person (read a lot of stuff) but haven’t got the time/energy/motivation to start yet.

Balance comes from steady progress in both, so if you dove head deep into doing something. Do your research. If you did research, start working. This is a lab exercise and the more you waste time the more you don’t know how to time-manage yourself into doing both (theory and practical).

We improve when we learn how we work/what we need to work on along the way, but making sure you have substance in both is good for you (so you don’t fuck up the lab exercise and waste your time) 💞

Test yourself and your knowledge? 💞 Find your niche, what you’re interested in 💞 What you might want to figure out or contribute with? 💞 Having a sense of purpose, or having a friend help you check you or hype you up (support you) really helps with motivation 💞

Dont be afraid to ask for encouragement, don’t be too prideful or overthink it too much, we all need that especially when we’re starting out – it can be lonely on your own and even if you can handle it, try to not put that weight on yourself?💞

Jus reach out for people who can give you the time/energy, and help support each other up 💞 It’s much better than being by yourself or feeling shitty about what you do alone. Can’t stress this enough, what’s the point of having a community if you’re going to use them for resources but feels so alienated/alone and like things are passing you by (not feeling knowledgeable enough/forgetting stuff because you don’t hold yourself accountable for applying/putting it out there somewhere so you can ‘practice’ it really)

It also helps with retaining knowledge and intuition, realizing that the things we’re learning are not stagnant and neither should our learning interpretations/methods (we’re all learning as we go so don’t feel bad about contributing or look down on yourself/your knowledge ok?)💞

You learn more if you follow the guides but use that as a jumping board, things are fluid but there are a few certain rules 💞 Don’t feel intimidated by them, find what interests you and research it because you want to (not because you need to in order to be have ‘complete/fair knowledge’ on the subject) 💞

Figure out a way that’s uniquely you, that you can find purpose to and explain it in your own way 💞 We’re talking about the same thing, we’re just doing it in a different way/choosing different parts of the same topic to talk about with each other (sharing is caring, but remember to like..diary entry it out? Sometimes if you push something onto others it can be like uuuuuuh?? cause no one really interprets the same way as each other) 💞💞

Remember that where-ever you are on the spectrum (beginner, intermediate, whatever) it’s not like– a ‘conclusive’ subject. It’s not like we can know all there is to know about something and that’s the be all end all in it.

That’s why we practice as we go, because we always think:

‘If I know a little bit more/feel more stable with my knowledge then I can start interpreting’ — there’s no ‘end’ to the knowledge, you keep learning as you go 💞

What matters is you sharpen yourself and narrow it down to what matters to you, that you yourself progress and grow as an astrologer/person 💞Try practicing as you go otherwise you’ll feel self-conscious about yourself/your own ability forever?? 💞💞💞

Most of the time, we only know what we perceive/interpret 💞While we can look at others and be like ‘wow! fantastic’ at what they do, that doesn’t discredit how you interpret or what you want to talk about💞

Share, contribute, we’re all talking about the same thing just different parts of it 💞Your voice matters, and what you bring to the table even if you think you’re repetitive or being redundant it matters 💞

No one is essentially the ‘boss’ of a subject 💞We’re so scared of criticism when we first begin, even constructive ones are feared too 💞

Closing ourselves down emotionally or detaching the ego from your work doesn’t always help (esp in term of compassion/what you want to produce/contribute or help others with) – learning how to be your own cheerleader does (*be aware of your social influence, how you affect others and what you say as well tho!) 💞

Learning how to grow, have a support system, how to accept emotional hurt instead of deny it or glide past it helps 💞 ‘it aint that deep’ but it is personal and healing to some people, it can be an emotional thing 💞

Don’t dismiss that, learn how to feel comfortable with what you do, check that the way you come across or the way you want the information to contribute is actually having an impact you want 💞

Think of it as growing, editing and manifesting yourself to be the best person? 💞 You’re essentially trying to discover you or have a voice 💞 Whether its in the community or on the subject, learning how you come across on the topic — receiving compliments, criticism– letting it help you and take what you need from it, 💞 Let it help you grow and experience things, discover and learn more about yourself as you do 💞

It’s more than just the subject right? 💞It’s the experience of learning and progressing with your knowledge/ability as well, what it takes to get comfortable/stable enough and to be efficient with it 💞

It’s figuring yourself out 💞 Like learning art, you figure out your own style what you want to do and you have different characteristics from each other 💞 It’s a constant learning progress 💞 So it’s not like, a completely different learning process than art (you can see your progress, no one stays the same when you practice– you’re not the same ‘artist’ or create the same ‘art style’ that you have when you started, with astrology it’s a similar thing– not completely the same but similar)

For beginners, knowing that you yourself is holding you back from doing stuff, starting stuff or criticizing yourself because you’re scared others going to criticize you (and beat down your confidence/happiness/ego) is something we’re going to have to tackle 💞Self-imposed fear, constant watching our back or just being afraid to share (procrastination/putting it off until later) is what’s stopping you the most. 💞

Do something right now, post something. Even if it’s small. It’s a start and it makes a huge difference (what you envision for yourself, how you want to contribute/manifest, what kind of person you want to be– if you’re more of the type to think about your ‘purpose’ as well)

Getting into the habit of doing something because it feels like a relief, like you’re expressing your own knowledge. Like you have more voice or is just confidence in something. Helps. 💞

Even if no one sees it (which is probably what all beginners are praying for skdjn) even if someone yells at you (fear conjured by our own anxiety and wariness of the cancel culture??) you find your own footing and you know your own path. You figure out what you want to do from there because you know you and you know how to write stuff for yourself, alright? 💞

I think for complete beginners getting over this initial fear is hard, like the hardest thing because we might feel we’re essentially ‘putting ourselves out/up there for criticism’ – it’s easy to be cynical/closed-off, it’s harder to be confident/content with ourselves. Learning how to do this for you, to say it with your own voice. The astro community is vast, if your voice isn’t someone’s cuppa tea then they’ll leave? If they like your opinion/want to hear you clarify more, they’ll ask? 💞

Treat others the way you want to be treated?? 💞 That’s the best advice I can give you if you don’t want to deal with what you fear?? How you talk about stuff, what you say and what kind of people you’re talking about matters. If you talk more shit than you actually give back, then you’re going to attract more shit to you as well? It’s in how we conduct ourselves and how we figure us out (*for how to help ourselves, sometimes shit happens and sometimes it’s hard to get over a past experience or let prejudice color our lens) 💞

We grow and learn, and sometimes we’re embarrassed by our past behaviors– so make sure you’re looking out for your future self as well 💞

Sometimes our fears and ‘ill do it later’ is bigger than our happiness and actual knowledge. You undermine yourself, and your own mind and paranoia is sometimes your biggest foe 💞

Who’s the one who double checks everything they write? Who’s the one who doesn’t carelessly make up a post because they don’t like getting backlash? It’s you. You’re your biggest editor but also your biggest push back, learn how to be spontaneous and do things now 💞

Mmmm another thing that might be hard for beginners, but will help them a lot is ‘jumping off’ things (applying knowledge). People like interesting posts right? We like things that are beyond the basics, because we know the basics. That’s the guidelines, and sometimes we look back and see interesting posts there too! 💞

But the point is, you gotta learn how to find your own voice and make posts that personally interests you? 💞 Posts that makes you invested, that makes you feel personal. Posts that gets you to self-express your voice 💞

Applying knowledge isn’t hard, you can do astro-notes for yourself and that’s a pretty efficient and productive start already? 💞 Finding your own methods or what kind of things you want to talk/post about helps too 💞

Doing things for yourself generally helps alot because it’s there to add to your own voice, your own observation and knowledge in something beyond just theoretical. It’s also there to share and contribute with others 💞 The more you notice, the more you learn how to apply 💞

More and more, you learn how to grasps not working so point by point (I’m learning this and then I’ll go learn that) but how to weave them together and how they differentiate? 💞 That’s where you wanna be at right? Where you can talk about some astro philosophy and re-work how you think/interpretate/learn stuff and share that with others as well 💞

Anyways, those are just things that might help. To keep in mind? Just do stuff. Like do things. That’s how you find support and learn about yourself. You’re never not going to like ‘you’ when you start doing something (like going to a dance class for the first time, trying out something you like. You might be nervous/hyper-aware but you come out knowing where you stand with the idea of it continuing)– you’re going to look at yourself and want to edit more and more. So make sure you start, so you can actually do something with it too! 💞

ALSO TO NOTE: Try not to be prejudice. This is an icky subject especially with serious traumas, victims who has their own mind-prison (*is in therapy or need it to help with past experiences) we’re all biased, we said that. For those who are in therapy (experiences that has happened in the past) – work on you, we’re here for you. Take your time, it’s good to even be aware of certain trigger points. Please take care of yourself first 💞

For those who are?? less serious?? honestly it’s jus a fun thing like you can joke but you can also be serious just– if you come to me I’m always gonna be like ‘hey its ok’ and?? jus?? talk about their traits and stuff?? 💞💞

That’s some?? Tips for beginners I think?? 💞💞 I hope it’s useful?? 💞💞💞

#astrology asks #content creators #kpop astrology #bts astrology #svt astrology #seventeen astrology #bangtan astrology #anyways mayhaps this will help #writing #astrolohoee #asks

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