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l-e-morgan-author · 3 months

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So there's this poetry collection I'm putting together....

It's titled they told me to name my demons, and contains one hundred poems, with seven prose pieces at the end. I've written ninety poems, some edited and some not, and four of the seven prose pieces.

Anyway, I'm looking for a combination of advice and assistance. One: are there any people who know things about newsletters/street teams who can advise me as to how to set up such a thing? And two: I'm looking for betareaders.

As my mental health is somewhat precarious at any given time, I do not currently have an ETA; however, when I've finished drafting them, I'll read through the collection as a whole and make notes on arrangement and ordering, remove any extraneous poems, fill in gaps and then set to work on editing the actual poetry. After that (or possibly during that process), I'll be seriously looking for people to read over the collection as a whole, and/or individual poems, to give feedback and advice, as well as more technical things like advice for cover, foreword, formatting and the like. I still have a long way to go, but I anticipate this getting to betareaders by the end of the year, if not before.

So if you're interested in being part of the group who works with me to produce this poetry collection as the best it can be (including simply people to promote it, later on in the process!) please reach out to me! I'd love a hand. I don't yet have a cover to show, but the two poems and the prose piece you can see below are examples of things that will show up in this book.

Please share this post, if you would, to help me!

"They Told Me To Name My Demons" is a collection of poetry exploring the intersection of faith, mental health and identity. Sometimes delving deep into the darker side of suicidality, unreality and self harm, this poetry collection nevertheless continues to remind the readers of the true reason for living: God, and how he has played a part in the author's life. Without God, there's no way I'd still be here.

#If you've seen that last bit floating around Christian circles on here every so often yes it's mine I wrote it on a sideblog #poetry #poetry collection #indie author #upcoming book #christianity #The summary at the bottom is a rough draft and will be fixed bc I literally just wrote it up now lol #they told me to name my demons

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yea-baiyi · 4 months

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the key to understanding hua cheng’s appearance and how he occupies space is that he’s a transmasc goth who’s committed to red and silver as his aesthetic. ok. the layered hair the outfits the boots the chains. he doesn’t shave off his eyebrows and redraw them only because he is a shapeshifter and so his eyebrows grow the way he wants.

#tgcf #hua cheng #my visions n delusions #my hyperfixation demon #anyway footnotes:#the red is because it’s the colour of the eye he was rejected for. the name his mother gave him. the token of his saviour.#and also because they told him he was unlucky well fuck you. fuck you the colour of luck will always remind you of me now #the silver is interesting bc i read about the miao ppl which apparently hua chengs mother was meant to be member of #and only women wear those extensive silver jewellery particularly the neck cuffs #men wear smal pieces but the cultural practice is in women wearing them #so. trans hua cheng is so real so canon #but also he’s literally just a goth ok my entire vision board for him is just #glam rock and goth icons #i had a whole thing detailing his aesthetic in much longer detail but you’ll have to wait for if i ever finish this thing #tbh i might not end up posting a long headcanon piece because i’m really writing this in bits and pieces #turns out a lot of my headcanons are just extensive textual analysis that i internalised? and now i’m writing details turns out it’s a meta

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awesomeartiah · 3 months

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No thoughts

#oc #original character #doodle #drawing #he was a redesign of Lucifer from that demon show but I like him a lot so I might keep him as my own #an anon told me that apparently if I say the demon show it’ll still show up so imma not just name it 😭😭#idk if it’ll reaction when Lucifer pops up 😭#they said I can censor but idk how to censor here but thank you for the help anon 💗

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slimmestslime · 2 months

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walmart wimble and the Massive Fluffy Beast of Sushi

#they’re so fucking soft btw #fluffiest thing ever and well worth the money #also im aware all the locations of my photos ever are in my room #that isnt changing :thumbsup:#but yeah the demons told me itd be a great idea to wimble and show this Rotound Beast to the masses #and so i did #their name is suki btw i love them dearly and they are my cuddle buddy #^slimirror #madness combat #hank j wimbleton #cosplay #feel like not mass tagging this tbh

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the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see · 4 months

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I GOT SCRATCHED ITS GONNA BE A GOOD 2024 BOYS

#whenever we enter the demon days between christmas and new years #i get surrounded by sharp objects. if i get scratched its a good year if i dont its bad #no one told me this and its not a family thing ive never told anyone about this but its something i truly believe in #source? 2016. did not get scratched. 2020. did not get scratched. 2021-2023 too but thats continuous. when i was a kid (wont name the year)#i didnt get scratched #and that year i was raped assaulted my parents tortured me the only family member that loved me died we hit a financial dump and #i lost so much hair #SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2024 HAS TO BE GOOD BC I GOT SCRATCHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the tree speaks

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hua-fei-hua · 7 months

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archiving this mandarin play i wrote when i was sixteen (and the "official translation" i also wrote of it) and i very much remember taking a lot of liberties with the english, but i do not remember taking the liberty to translate "but... i want to read this book now" as "but... i'm done growing [up]"

but i mean i guess since i do remember translating

[Mama: *dryly* ah. our celestial being xiao xiaoming has arrived. wonderful.]

into

[Muzzah: ah. everyone's favorite rainbow elf man whom we technically do not call gay but it's hinted at with hints so strong they may as well be bricks in the face]

it shouldn't be terribly surprising, but for some reason i'm just like. "huh. i don't remember mistranslating my own work like this."

#the elf character IS canonically gay in the play. btw.#he was originally named 魈小明 but my mom told me that 魈 was too demonic a name for what i had in mind #(i showed her a picture of legolas to explain what i had in mind)#花話

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sunwisecircle · 2 years

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Did I ever tell y’all about the weird extension of my father’s belief in biblical curses? I don’t mean him thinking me being born with a uterus was a curse, that was just run of the mill for him.

One day during the course of lecturing us about history, as he was prone to do because he believed himself a highly educated man despite barely having graduated high school, he told us that one of the crew members of the Titanic proudly boasted that not even god could sink the ship and it was that act of hubris which caused the Titanic to sink. Specifically, god said, oh?, and sank the ship because saying he couldn’t was a challenge and he couldn’t let it stand.

He also told us that the later years of the Beatles -- yeah, the band -- and their waning popularity were caused because one of the band members said they were more popular than god (I looked this up and apparently dude said they were more popular than jesus but the comment was taken out of context and whatever), and because of this god cursed them / personally saw to their downfall

#shut up dyllan #christianity #my father really gave christians a bad name for real #this was the same man who when kid me asked him if false gods were false what was happening if someone prayed to them and their prayer was #answered b/c i figured people wouldn't pray to something if it didn't work. he very confidently told me that it was a demon or some other #satanic force answering and that belief in false gods was a form of demon worship. any good things that happened out of it was to lead peopl #e further astray

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ohara-n-brown · 5 months

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As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

#autism #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually autistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergency #neurodiversity #cluster b

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

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l-e-morgan-author · 3 months

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my current wip list

Hands Made for Gentleness is about my two dear idiots Vaniah and Anneka, who get married to dodge an arranged-marriage law. Vaniah is incredibly traumatised by events in his past. Anneka discovers this as time goes by. It's a story of healing, mainly, and mental health. Boatload of trigger warnings (Vaniah is severely depressed, suicidal and all that goes with that, while Anneka is in recovery from anorexia) but I love them so much and I love the energy that's between them. At this moment I'm writing a scene in which they're arguing because Vaniah abruptly shut down a kissing scene without explanation and the conversation afterwards got mildly heated. Also they basically end up in a QPR more than a traditional romantic relationship and I love that for them. They're late twenties or so during this novel. First draft.

Patience, Changing is about Patience and her adopted sister Rhona. Patience is my autistic darling, Rhona is my current Discord pfp and anyway I love them. They have interpersonal conflicts that form the nucleus of the novel, but they work them out in the end. Teenagers, and absolutely no romantic relationships in this story which I love. Also it's set in my home city of Melbourne. First draft.

To Kindle a Flame is the first book of an embarrassingly big series. I first wrote the earliest draft for camp nanowrimo or nanowrimo itself, 2017. It started out as one book, in fact started out as a simple response to a concept outlined and failed to bring to a satisfying conclusion by a Christian book by someone in my denomination - In Search of Life by Anna Tikvah. I loved the concept (girl has questions about life, turns to the Bible and reads it, things happen), but then Verity never questioned that the Bible was true, which seemed wack to me. So I started writing a story in which my main character (Adira) found a copy of the Bible and then began to read it, but the whole time she's questioning it. It turned into about 300k of messy drafting (I've drafted it uhh three times by now and am gradually working on overhauling it, grabbing what bits I can and then finishing the draft, ideally this year) and has become a story about mental health, choices and the way people figure out beliefs. In the Gospels there's a line in which Pilate says "What is truth?" - that's basically the tagline of To Kindle a Flame. It's also dystopian. It's my beloved baby. Anyway I'm normal about this story. Also Adira is autistic. Oops. I didn't intend that. I just looked at her character one day and went Yet Another Autistic Character Ay. xD It's also set in Melbourne, but aforementioned dystopia renders Melbourne unrecognisable. I've done a bunch of worldbuilding on her. Also features the character who was the first openly queer character I ever wrote - Tom, who's bi, though he ends up married to Adira and never has a mlm relationship during the story (has prior - in the story he's side B). Somewhere between first and second drafts.

Do Roses Cast Shadows? was the most recent nanowrimo, and I got a grand total of 12k into it. I uh. Don't know what's going on really. I don't recall much, but I'd like to get back to it someday. My characters are Wren and I can't recall the male main character's name.

They Told Me To Name My Demons is a poetry collection I'm working up to publication someday. It's about Christianity, suicidality, depression, autism and identity. I plan to include 100 poems and 7 prose pieces, of which I've so far written and somewhat edited 84 poems (might have a few more, I haven't crossreferenced with my phone lately) and 4 pieces of prose. The title is from a blog post I read years ago and then wrote a poem in response to. Most of the poems have been written in the last year or two. I chase inspiration where I see it. First draft.

Sparks Under Heaven is a collection of five short stories/novellas, all connected to To Kindle a Flame (one features Adira, two her grandfather, one someone another character knew in his youth and the other focuses on an event from To Kindle a Flame but from someone else's perspective). I've had it professionally edited but the edits are sitting there still waiting to be touched, largely. Second-last round of edits before I self publish.

Through Lightning, Through Thunder was nanowrimo 2022, the happiest novel I've ever written and absolutely beloved. It features Taira (rabbit), Paddy (fox), Sheba (lynx), and various less important characters. It started out life as a Narnia fanfic, focused around my original characters with occasional mentions of the Four. It was 15k. Then I fleshed it out into a full original novel, 100k-and-counting. Oopsie. The good guys are trying to stop an evil dragon being resurrected (based on the Witch scene in Prince Caspian). In the end everyone lives happily ever after. Yay. Second draft.

[Inklings story] is about Hadassah, autistic darling of my heart who is thrown through a portal and discovers a found family on the other side, essentially. Downtrodden autistic but becomes happy and confident. First draft.

The Time Travelling Midwife is about Felicity, ALSO autistic (surprise!). I haven't got very far with this one either, it exists mostly in vibes in my mind. It's best summarised as the story with the time travelling midwife, who travels in time, is an angel, tries to stop evil from prevailing and when it does eventually through the building of the tower of Babel (mainly facilitated by one of her colleagues), her time travelling powers are taken away and she ends up settling somewhere in the 1900s and having a happy life. First draft.

Only the first and second are in active development right now. Please ask me about any part of any thing of this post. I copied and pasted directly from the Discord in which I rambled about them.

If I've forgotten any wips that you know about please tell me, lol. And this is only about full length novels or collections, not shorter stories.

#hands made for gentleness #patience changing #to kindle a flame #do roses cast shadows?#they told me to name my demons #sparks under heaven #through lightning through thunder #inklings story #the time travelling midwife #my writing #my wips

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cator99 · 1 year

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I was so weird about lesbian sex for a long time because when I was 14 I hooked up with an older girl at bible camp and suddenly got my period during it and I was so embarassed but she didn't care so we kept going and then I suddenly got a severe nosebleed for no reason while I was on top of her kissing her and you can imagine how that went so there was my blood everywhere all over both of us and this sounds like I'm making shit up but it was insane and k i was panicking but she was like all about it so we just kept going and like it was too late, there was already blood on both of us! Like all over us. and I thought it was kind of powerful. so I let myself get blood all over the cabin. we were feverish. At first I just let my nosebleed drip on the floor and we both laughed like fuck this place yeah lets get blood everywhere. And we did. This is just what makes us girls. We had this cabin entirely to ourselves too for 3 whole nights!! They didn't check on us in there even once!!! Not even the counselors wanted to be near us- we had wanted to be alone and not participate in the religious activities so we told everyone we were sick, however the absolutely insane family who single-handedly ran the camp (the mom was rarely seen of course but the dad was this freaky cult-leader type preacher named Greg, and they had ummmm I think 15 kids or something, most of whom were adults, so they had no issue running this camp on an acreage they owned with very little outsider involvement) genuinely thought we were just posessed by demons, and in response they gave us our own cabin in order to ensure that we were kept away from the other kids there. Major oversight on their part and also sounds illegal but I could tell they were scared shitless of me (weird hair I cut and dyed myself, 3 lip piercings, septum ring, mid kandi kid phase so I had rainbow bracelets up past my elbows) and the girl (who had a jugalette tattoo and was the only black girl at the camp, I think ever)... I ended up getting banned from bible camp for other reasons... lesbian sex blood rituals aside....... (a kid saw me smoking something in a pipe and snitched, and they thought it was weed but it was so obviously just mint tea...) yeah after that I was like "was god punishing me for being a lesbian by making me bleed everywhere during sex oh god I'm going to hell forever and ever waaah" because even though I didn't believe in that shit in any real way at all I still had raging paranoia about being punished for being gay... regardless I came to the conclusion that if all that bloodshed was the price of homosexuality then I'd just have to learn to enjoy it. And I was so right for that . But yeah when I did have sex again after that I was like Ok hellooooo God where is the blood are u there God...???

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cryptidghostgirl · 2 months

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The Love (Alastor x Reader)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Description: Alastor is drunk and Charlie asks him if he has ever been in love.

Warnings: I don't think there are any but correct me if I'm wrong.

Word Count: 1,323

Master Lists:

Master Lists

Hazbin Hotel Master List

A/N Y'all, I'm lowkey dying from the requests. I'm sorry for the last five or so taking so long, I just need a little break and mix in some of my own ideas if that is okay.

Alastor was drinking at the bar with Husk, Charlie, and Angel. The day had been a lot, seeing Mimzy was always a lot. Yes she was trouble, but Alastor loved her. He loved her for the same reason he was trying to drink himself stupid at the bar. He loved her because she reminded him of Y/n. Mimzy had been her friend first, after all.

He sat off to the side in his own little world while Angel and Charlie chatted and Husk obediently poured the drinks. Normally, Husk would have joined the pair in the mindless, mundane chatter but after the events of the day, Alastor's presence kept him silent.

"No way!" Charlie exclaimed.

She and Angel were talking about some TV show they both watched or another. A mind numbingly boring background noise but, Alastor wasn't complaining.

"Yes! They are one hundred percent perfect for each other." Angel replied animatedly.

"Literally how. Name one thing that shows they have good chemistry."

"Uh, they’re constantly at each other's throats? If that's not love, I don't know what is."

"Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't know what love is."

Husk let out a short, sharp laugh as he topped off Angel's drink.

"Oh yeah? Well then, Princess, what do you think love is."

Charlie sighed, leaning her elbow on the counter as a dreamy look spread across her face.

"Love is... love is when you would do anything for the person. It's when they're your guiding star, your... your prayers answered."

"Uh, no? Love is when you want to literally kill the person but like, in a good way."

"Angel, what does that even mean." Charlie laughed.

"It means... it means there is passion. That spark everyone always talks about? It's violence."

"Hey Al!" Charlie suddenly called, leaning back in her seat to peer at Alastor behind Angel's back, "Who's right, me or Angel?"

Alastor looked up from his glass.

"I hate to say it, but neither of you are correct." he sighed in irritation at having been disturbed, "Love is neither a constant fight nor a blind devotion, though it contains aspects of both."

"Like you know anything about love, mister fancy talk creepy voice." Angel scoffed, turning to face Alastor as well now.

"Actually, I do."

Charlie's face lit up. She practically vibrated with anticipation.

"Alastor! You've been in love!?"

Normally, on a night like this, he'd be alone. He'd be careful to be alone, or at least have Husk as his only company. When he told Husk to shut up and pour, he listened. Other people, not so much.

"Yes."

Charlie had stars in her eyes. She inched closer to him.

"Are you gonna spill?" Angel asked after a moment.

"It was a long time ago."

Alastor took a long sip from his glass.

"Do you... do you not remember it?" Charlie asked, her excited smile slipping slightly at the notion

Maybe it was the drink. Maybe it was the long day, Lucifer, Mimzy, Husk. Those shark demons. Maybe it was just that secretly all along, he had wanted someone to talk to. He watched the liquor in his glass as he swirled it gently.

"It was a long time ago, but I still remember it." his smile softened as he spoke, "It's strange. I remember her laughter, her little quixotic tendencies. I remember the way her eyes would light up when she smiled and the way her perfume smelled. I know her favorite author, the way she took her coffee, the way she folded her clothes but, I can't seem to ever see her face anymore. I..."

He trailed off, taking a breath.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Charlie quickly said, not wanting to make Alastor uncomfortable.

Alastor shook his head.

"I've spent years not talking about her. Maybe... maybe something else would be nice."

"So, how'd you guys meet?" Charlie immediately asked.

Alastor looked up at her and let out a light chuckle. He felt like he was human again for a moment. It was odd.

"I don't know if you know this about me, but I was a radio broadcaster back when I was alive. A rather famous one at that, in New Orleans at any rate. Her family ran a restaurant near the studio that I went to get lunch at from time to time. She worked there as a server."

"And she loved you?" Angel asked, "Like, you weren't just delusional?"

"I was quite the lady's man back in my day."

"Uh-huh." Angel doubtfully replied, "Sure."

"Oh hush, Angel." Charlie shoved the spider demon slightly, "Tell us more! What was she like? Did you ever get together or were you just friends? Gah! I wanna know everything!"

"She was..." Alastor's gaze fell back to his glass, "you remind me of her in a way. She was so idealistic, so driven. So... bubbly. She worked hard and she cared deeply. I don't know how I swung her, despite my charms. We were friends for about a year. The whole time, I was trying to work up the courage to ask her out but she ended up being the one to ask me. We got married when we were in our mid twenties. I only had a few years with her as my wife before I died."

Unbidden ideas darkened the edges of his mind. Y/n had always been so good, so sweet. Alastor had no idea if she had ever learned of his... escapades. He figured she must know, considering the manner in which he died but it was a horrifying thought. He was grateful when Charlie spoke again, pulling his mind back to the present.

"Thats so cute!" Charlie exclaimed, clapping her hands as she looked between Alastor and Angel, searching for similar excitement.

"Can we meet this alleged doll of yours?" Angel asked, "Cause I am really not believing any of this bullshit your spouting."

Charlie gasped, suddenly struck by inspiration.

"Do you think she would want to be redeemed?"

"Oh dear," Alastor shook his head, meeting Charlie's eyes, "she's not here."

"Then wh-"

"She's in heaven?" Angel exclaimed, "You married someone who ended up in heaven?"

"Either that or she's over a hundred years old and still on earth." Alastor weakly joked.

"I'm sorry."

Alastor shrugged, downing the rest of his drink.

"No!" Charlie insisted, "You'll... you'll never get to see her again! That's so sad!"

"And here I thought you were trying to get us redeemed." Angel scoffed.

Charlie turned to him.

"I'm trying to get you redeemed cause you're a guest. Alastor isn't a guest."

"Right you are, my dear."

"But you could do that." Charlie said turning back to Alastor, "Angel's right, if you were a guest you could be redeemed. You could see her again!"

Alastor smiled kindly at the excited demon. He patted her back.

"I'm afraid I don't think that's an option."

"But why not!" Charlie insisted, "Anyone can be redeemed, Alastor."

"That's not the issue, my dear." he sighed, "I did some things on earth that she would most certainly view as... unfavorable shall we say? Things she most certainly learned of after my death."

"You're not even gonna give it a shot?" Angel asked.

"Yeah, come on Alastor. Let us help you. You never know how it could turn out!"

"It's alright. I have the time we spent together, the memories. I don't want to taint that." he slowly, unconsciously, raised a hand to his chest, his palm over his heart, "The love is still there, thats what matters."

The quartet fell silent as Husk poured Alastor another drink. Alastor sighed, grabbing the glass and examining it carefully, but not taking a sip.

"What was her name?" Charlie asked, her voice small and her smile long gone.

"Y/n."

It had been years since he'd said it out loud. His tongue relished every syllable.

"Her name was Y/n."

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koemiexists · 1 month

Note

need a overstim fic w alastor pleaseeeeee and maybe some bondage with his tentacles????

I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship

summary: alastor is your best friend, you think. but he doesn't want that. and you're okay with it. word count: 1.6k tags: smut, light bondage, tentacles, tentacle sex, overstimulation, monster form alastor, multiple orgasms, breeding kink, creampie, vaginal sex a/n: sorry for the wait!! i have been busy with school, as per the usual... but again!! slowly but surely!! the tortoise wins the race as they say!

You and Alastor were practically best friends. He never said it explicitly, but you knew that you and him had to be really close for him to be so at ease with you.

Rosie had told you that not once had his smile dropped, even in private with her. You, however, witnessed it one time. It was an accident, sure, you had just looked up at the exact moment his smile dropped from a wide grin to a bit of a grimace. It happened so quickly you almost thought you were imagining things.

Considering this, if anyone asked, you would confidently say that you and Alastor are best friends.

Alastor didn’t think the same, though, you came to realize when he loomed over your bed one night.

You were upset, to be honest, especially because you barely had time to yank your hands out of your underwear when you heard the telltale sign of him entering.

His shadow had spread out along the wall, staring down at you as you shot up, staring at Alastor, cheeks slightly red. The room was illuminated by two light sources; the constant dim lighting of Hell and all of the artificial bulbs that littered the streets, and Alastor’s glowing red eyes staring straight at you.

“Alastor?” You whispered, tilting your head in question of just why he was at your bed in the middle of the night. Angel had dragged you to a bunch of shopping stores for the entire day, rambling about how your wardrobe was especially lacking, so you were tired, and just wanted to let loose steam before finally sleeping.

In retrospect, you were glad you went along, considering you brought Charlie a new suit that she loved.

A sharp crackle of radio static forced your thoughts back on the Radio Demon’s form, and how he just continued to stare, before clearing his throat, the constant noise altering his voice rising.

“Apologies, (Name).” He started slowly, gently sitting at the edge of your bed as you continued to silently look at him, your confusion heightening as you began to get apprehensive of what his goal was here.

Despite the air thickening with static and apprehension, you couldn’t help the fact that you began to get wetter at the sight of Alastor. He cleared his throat, eyes narrowing at your form.

“Why are you here?” You question softly, removing your covers from your body as you begin to perspire lightly. “You don’t normally come into the women’s bedrooms without permission. You said that it’s not of a gentleman’s nature to do so without courting her...”

He nods lightly, inclining his head towards you as he places his microphone to the side. “You’re correct,” Alastor’s eyes are on you again, glowing lightly as his grin sharpens. “And I am here particularly to court you. Although... it seems I may have interrupted a private matter.”

You flushed, and looked away. “Yeah, you have. Is that why you were acting a bit weird?”

Alastor huffed. “Weird?” His fluffy ears drew back against his head as he rolled his eyes, his grin still present. “I was not acting in an abnormal way.”

Feeling bold, you decide to wake the lion in the den with some teasing. “Oh? Am I supposed to believe that, Al? Obviously, something is up. You’re acting weird around me.” You huffed, crossing your arms as you glared up at him.

“Watch your mouth, dear. I will not be kind to you if you keep talking.”

You snort. “How are you going to shut me up, hm? Is the big, bad Radio Demon going to broadcast my screams? Going to make me beg for forgiveness? Are you going to try and take my soul? Huh?” You’re not sure why you’re so emboldened, and why you’re trying to get a rise out of the one sinner who can kill you in an instant, yet you feel thrilled when you see his brows furrow.

His antlers grew in size, and his eyes became radio dials as his large size towered your smaller frame. His grin was so wide, you felt your heart stop for a moment as his claws dug deep into the side of your pillow, right by your head.

Alastor watched you yelp in fear, and he can almost smell the way your blood was pumping, the way you began to clam up. “Done?” He spoke slowly, as you nodded. “Good.”

Instead of shifting to his regular form, he just snapped his fingers, and you let out a high pitched squeal when your pajamas disappeared from your body. You were left stark naked, and Alastor only gave you a look, as if to punish you for your behavior.

“Bad girls don’t get to orgasm once and be done with it.” A tentacle shot out from his back as his shadow self held your legs in order to stop any potential movement you may make. “You’ll take what I give you. And you have made me very upset, (Name).”

You whimpered, but he ignored it, instead pulling a chair up and sitting right next to the bed. His tentacle then went straight to your awaiting cunt, rubbing from the opening of your tight pussy to the tip of your clit.

Twisting, you let out another squeaky noise, eyes wide and face flushed. Alastor peered at you, but you only let out a gasping ‘green’ as the tentacle plunged deep in you. You shifted again, trying to make the appendage go deeper into you.

“Needy? I barely touched you.” He smirked at your writhing form, the way your hair was splayed against the pillows. Your hips began to buck upwards, trying to get closer to the base of the tentacle. “Who were you thinking of?”

You sobbed out in pleasure, feeling your abdomen tighten as a second appendage began to rub at your clit at a fast pace. “W-what? What are you-” You interrupted yourself with another pleading moan exiting your mouth.

Alastor rubbed your legs slowly, humming. “When you were masturbating.”

“Before you arrived?” You moaned out, an arm over your head as you hiccuped. “I- It’s embarrassing. This is embarrassing.” You told him, trying to keep your noises at bay. You felt your high cresting, but you didn’t want to cum so quickly. The tentacles kept their touches up, and you bit your lip hard, drawing blood.

He narrowed his eyes at you, the room filling with a cursed energy as he continued his ministrations, ever so slightly speeding up as you barreled to your release.

You orgasmed around the tentacle inside you, whimpering as the other one rubbed your clit at the same quick pace, throwing you into the side of overstimulation. Crying out, you try to push it out of the way, however two more tentacles come out to pull your arms back. You writhed, your leg automatically jolting out in response to the constant stimulation on your cunt, and you shrieked as Alastor began to tease another tentacle against your already filled pussy.

“Now who?” He inquired once again, watching as you sobbed from the pleasure, tears rolling down your flushed cheeks. His erection pressed against his tight pants, but he just disregarded the pressure, focusing on the way your hair was tousled up, and the saliva dripping from the corner of your mouth.

After another tortuous moment of this, you caved, bucking your hips as your lips parted. “You! You, Alastor! I was thinking- I was-” You moaned roughly, and he smirked as you tried to gain your bearings. “Mm, I was rubbing my wet cunt at the mere thought of you!”

Humming, Alastor grasped your hips, retracting his appendages that were holding your arms down. He leaned over you, in perfect position to thrust inside if he was bare.

“You look gorgeous.” Was all he breathed out, as you shrieked when the second tentacle at your cunt thrusted inside. You instantly came, whining pathetically for more, even as you were overstimulated.

The other appendages retracted, and he unzipped his pants to thrust his hard dick inside you. You choked on a moan at the feeling of his cock, especially considering it was thick and long due to his monstrous form. “Al- Mm, Alastor!” You keened, wrapping your trembling legs around his hips.

With every thrust, the bed shook tremendously, causing the headboard to bang against the wall. In your lust-filled mind, you couldn’t remember how there was others in this hotel, how everyone must have woken up due to the amount of noise you were making-

“No one will see you in such a state, darling.” Alastor groaned through the heavy static in his voice. You let out a quiet whimper as he abused your cunt with sloppy thrusts. He was getting close, and you just wished he’d fill your pussy, to the point where you were stuffed full.

You were well aware of his questioning gaze at you, and you tried your best to fight through the fucked dumb haze, swallowing a few time as you tried to move your tongue to make sounds. “Breed me,” You stuttered out, looking up at Alastor. “Breed me until I’m full, Alastor, please.”

Alastor growled, and shoved his cock deep inside you, watching as you squirted all over him and the bed from the strength of your orgasm. Your pussy was squeezing him so tight, and he grunted as he pulled your hips flushed against his own, before cumming inside you.

You couldn’t even moan anymore, instead making a tired yet pleasured noise at the feel of Alastor’s thick, hot cum inside your swollen, puffy pussy.

You felt, rather than saw, Alastor slowly become his regular form. He shifted you gently, and you groaned at the way your legs ached. “Apologies, dear.” Alastor said, seeming apologetic as he kissed your sweaty forehead. “You must rest now. I believe you are properly sated?”

Smiling cheekily, you gave him a half-lidded lustful glance. “I may need some tending to, tomorrow.”

Alastor let out a small huff of amusement, smiling genuinely at you. “After I tell Charlie and the others that you’re perfectly fine.”

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jyoongim · 3 months

Note

SUBMISSIVE ALASTOR + OVERSTIMULATION + HIM WITH A DEER TAIL AND SENSITIVE DEER EARS (HES WHINING, BEGGING, PANTING ETC.) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I’m not use to darling being the slight dominant so i tried my best!

Themes: soft!dom reader, alastor, tentacle play, pet names, anal, overstimulation, begging, edging, orgasm denial, whining, fluff, cutesy,

You always admired how Alastor took care of everything in the hotel. He was very meticulous about how he wanted things. Even when things were chaotic, he always seemed to have it together.

And that went with the hotel and you.

He loved to spoil you.

You never had to lift a single finger to do anything with Alastor around.

It was sweet; enduring that he loved to take care of you without even a falter in his demeanor.

But you being his sweet little darling, couldnt just let your dear deer man do everything.

Alastor. The lanky, red demon with the title Radio Demon, who was always in complete and total control, believe it or not; had a nasty habit of being stressed.

And you were determined to help relieve him of that stress.

You were going through your to-do list of things that needed to be done around the hotel. You had nearly completed everything, when you caught sight of Alastor walking through the lobby.

Your face immediately light up into a smile and you were about to greet him when you noticed something odd.

Most people couldnt read Alastor, but you had been with him long enough to know when something was bothering him.

His ever present smile was tense. Fluffy ears furrowed against his skull and tail flickering.

”Alastor?” You called out and immediately his smile softened.

”OOooh Mon Cher! How are you this hellish afternoon?” He asked as he squeezed you in a hug.

you ignored his questioned and stared at him, pout on your lips

”something’s botherin’ you beau” his eye twitched.

”nothin’ to worry your pretty little head dearest, now if you’ll excuse me i am off for an outing. I will be back for dinner” he said giving your cheek a peck before scrolling out the lobby.

You spent the rest of the day helping Charlie and making sure the hotel was running jus fine. Quite a bit of time had passed and Alastor was due to come back soon.

you had cooked dinner for everyone and once everyone ate and went to bed, you started to prepare something special for Alastor.

You had just finished setting everything up when you hear the sound of Alastor’s hooves making their way to his bedroom.

Upon opening the door, his red eyes widened, smile softer and small

”darling what’s all this?” The sound of ‘Ohs and Ahs’ from a track played as he approached and looked around.

The room was dimmly light by the many candles you had. There was the soft humming of whatever creature was in his forest and the fireflies danced as he took in the lovely meal you had prepared.

You smiled and took his hand, guiding him to the table

”well i thought that for a change that I do something for you. Call it a show of my appreciation.” You said into his ear, causing it to flick.

Alastor hummed and took in the meal.

You had roasted venison (he would have eaten it raw-) and with some greens and some wine. Simple (but you weren’t much of a cooker anyway) but he appreciated it none the less.

As the both of you ate, you listened to him talk about his day and told him about the crazy plans Charlie had come up with.

Alastor wiped his lips and gave you a smile. “Why darling dinner was marlevous, you don’t have dessert planned too do you” he asked chuckling.

This was the moment you had been waiting for.

“Actually i was thinking of something much sweeter” you said as you rounded behind him, hands slowly massaging his shoulders.

he melted at your touch and let out a soft purr.

”mmmm and what would that be?”

To HIS surprise, a collar appeared around his neck and you tugged him towards the bed.

You pushed him flat against the bed and straddled his waist. You felt his hands grab at your waist and you slapped his hands away, shaking your head

”no no this is about me taking care of you for once so just relax baby”

he tilted his head and let you have control for once.

Even though Alastor didn’t have a high sex drive, he didn’t mind indulging you in your lustful bouts.

You teased your hands through his red tresses and scratched at his undercut.

His skin had goosebumps and you leaned down to kissed his nose.

Oh he was so cute.

your hands scratched to the top of his head and you pouted as he moved his ears away from your seeking hands.

you finally lightly grazed them as they were pinned (such a angi boi) against his and caressed them between your fingers.

you couldn’t resist and tugged on his ears.

Alastor groaned and pressed his hips up into yours in response to you diddling with his ears.

“Ooh easy darling” he cooed at you.

you ignored him and tied the chain attached to his neck around the headboard. Satisfied that he wont break free (he still can) you slide down and nuzzled into the tent that was raging in his dress pants.

You softly stroked the bulge and unzipped his pants.

Alastor might be all limps and tall, but he had a monster in his pants

(Who would have guessed???)

Shimmying out of the bothersome garments, Alastor growled as you peppered his cock with kisses.

You hummed as you dragged your tongue against the underside of his cock and as you hear his breathing pick up.

You relax your jaw as you take him into your throat.

‘Ooooh that’s so good’ he hissed

you were happy that he was enjoying himself but you really wanted to him

fucked out.

with a pop you released him from your mouth and ran your hands up and down his thighs

”i wanna try something that I think youll enjoy”

his ears perked and honed in on your voice.

”Alastor…on your knees” you purred and much to your surprise…he did so without as much of a complaint.

you tried to suppress a giggle as he wiggled his tail at you.

You caressed his balls and stroked his dick as you nipped at his behind.

Your tongue probed at his asshole and Alastor growled at you in warning.

Oh that wont do.

You manifested a strap-on around your waist and tapped it against his hole.

Ears pulled back immediately.

through you were much shorter than Alastor, you were going to give him a bit of his own medicine.

you exterted your own tentacles and restrained the red demon as you put your knees into his and pulled him to you.

Sharp claws tore into the pillows and Alastor hissed, head whipping around

”You dare?”

you gave him a smile and thrusted forward, causing him to let out a soft moan.

Your tentacles were a real help since you were of shorter statue.

One had his head mushed into the mattress

One was wrapped around his dick; squeezing and stroking him, precum leaking.

You could practically see Alastor melt. His shoulders relaxed, head lobbed to the side, and back arched.

If anyone else saw the Radio Demon like this, they would be dead.

”Ooooh darling sweet hell” he brawled.

You sped up your pace and locked his arms behind his back as you dragged him back into your thrusts.

Never in your afterlife did you think you would be the one to have Alastor so

wanton

Hells it felt good to have this power.

You felt his dick twitch with each stroke of your tenacle

you cooed at him “Do my beau wanna cum?”

his ear flickered.

you pushed just a little harder

”will you beg me beau?”a shudder ran through him as well his dick swelled.

Alastor was prideful by nature and you couldn’t think of a time where he was the one begging.

But any man would do anything to have his dick milked dry.

“Please” he mumbled.

you gave a harsh thrust “what was that? I didn’t quite hear you”

he pushed his hips against you and you loosened the collar and pulled him back.

He bared his teeth at you; the sound of broken record sounding.

“Please…please make me cum” You started to pound into his ass and the tentacle around his cock twisted and stroked until you felt the telltale of his dick growing.

”my sweet beau” he snarled as his body seized forward as he spilled his seed onto the sheets.

you had flipped him over onto his back and kissed his lips, “I’m not done”

Your hand wrapped around his cock and stroked it causing him to whine.

You ran your fingers through his hair as you squeezed his sensitive cock.

Alastor’s face was scrunched and you cooed “c’mon baby i know you can give me one more”

you threw a leg over his waist and lined his cock up with your cunt.

sinking down you sighed as he bucked up into you.

using what power you had you held his wrists down and slammed yourself onto him

”Fucking hell!” He gasped as you rode him like there was no tomorrow.

your warm walls sucked him in so well.

you brought your lips to his neck and latched on as you felt his dick twitch

“M-Mon Cher please i-”

you whined into his neck “you gonna cum again? My pretty boy wanna cum?”

he hissed and clenched his teeth

you abandoned riding for some light grinding and just before he could try and thrust up into you to paint your walls you lifted off him

Alastor growled “Aaah Fuck you!” As his orgasm whined.

you giggled “patience dear”

his red eyes narrowed at you but quickly closed as your mouth found his throbbing member.

you sunk down, taking him into your throat

”darling please! Please please j-just let me cum”

you felt you had tormented your demon long enough and licked up his shaft before kissing the head.

you felt your jaw extend as your tongue extended and wrapped around him.

sinking him back into your throat, you bbbed your head as your tongue squeezed and stroked him.

Alastor was a whining mess.

panting his tried to thrust up, but whatever power you had held him in place.

”s'il te plaît, mon amour, laisse-moi recouvrir cette jolie gorge s'il te plaît. traite-moi à sec. s'il te plaît, laisse-moi jouir”

please love let me coat that pretty throat please. milk me dry. please let me cum

Well if he asked so nicely…

you quickened your pace and squeezed at his ball.

Alastor mewled and your throat was flooded with warm cum.

you swallowed all you could and waited til his dick softened to pop him out your mouth. You licked up what spilled past your lips and peppered his thighs with kisses.

he was panting out of breath as he sleepily looked at you.

you purred as you placed a soft kiss to his lips.

”you did so good”

he sighed as you cuddled him and you could hear the soft hum of white noise

”what was that for dear?”

you smiled, scratching his undercut

”someone needs to take care of you too Mr.Radio”

#hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #alastor smut #alastor x y/n #hazbin hotel fanfiction #jyoongim

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flamingpudding · 7 months

Text

He's my clockwork appointed babysitter, not dad.

They failed, even they managed to beat all the cultist in time. The ritual was still completed. The leader was laughing like a maniac until Hood hit him hard with the butt of his gun, knocking the guy out cold finally. With held breaths, they watched how smoke rose from the ritual circle higher and higher until it started to form a black shadow with stars as eyes and too many teeth and limps. Batman was on his way with Constantine. Maybe they could at least contain whatever that was until they arrived.

"Who in the name of all good and holy dared to summon me?!" A static scratchy voice echoed in their ears.

No one dared to answer at first but of course Red I-fear-nothing Hood had to open his mouth earning him death glares from his siblings. "Aren't you like a demon? Why would you mention anything good and holy?"

That think was blinking at them and Tim did a double take when that think moved its many limps like it was rubbing the back of its neck.

"In the name of all bad and cursed then?" It sounded unsure still a booming echo like voice but unsure. They shared a look. Dick opened his mouth, ready to say something when suddenly a familiar voice shouted from behind them.

"Cut the crap kid! They are the Batsie and his birds belong to the good!"

They turned to see Constantine marching in with Batman right behind him. The man was throwing the but of his cigarette way as he went right up to that demon. Which apparently was not one because right as the Brite was up to it a puff of greenish some blocked their view for a moment before a white haired child stood where the demon had been seconds ago.

"The hell you doing out here kid. I told you to stay at home."

"You try resisting a summon when your all new to the fact that you can get summoned!"

"Your going to make my hair gray faster, you little chaos gremlin."

"Aw love you too!"

"Uh Constantine?" They had question of of them was that Constantine was apparently familiar with that child, demon, whatever.

"Right." The man lit another cigarette but before he could even take one drag of it he side eyed the child staring up at him before he flicked it to the side. "Bats my demon son, Danny the Bats."

"Demon son?"

"Actually I am-" They watched how Constantine covered the child's, Danny's, mouth with his hand shushing the boy.

"What did I tell you about interdimensional secrets? That's right, do not talk about them to just anyone. We are not repeating the Green Lantern incident."

Should they feel offended? It felt like they should. They weren't just anyone.

"Constantine." Batman gruffly warned, but the man held up one hand towards them. Batman was definitely offended that Green Lantern got to learn something he wasn't getting to know on Constantine's watch.

"One moment Batsie. I need to- did you gremlin just lick my hand?!"

The moment Constantine removed his hand the child stuck his tongue out at the JL Dark member and made a break for it to hide behind Batman.

"Get back here you little..."

"No! I am always stuck at home, and you promised me I would get to see the watchtower at last month!"

Batman blocked Constantine from getting to who was apparently the man's demon son. Staring at the man as the boy grinned in triumph.

"Mate get out of the way, this kid needs to get grounded again."

"For what?"

"Being a chaos gremlin that won't listen."

The rest of the batfam had only one burning question on their mind. "Which demon was willing enough to have a child with Constantine?"

Well, except for Tim who had caught the little tidbit of interdimensional secret and was wondering who Danny really was.

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huskersbooze · 2 months

Text

Who's in Control?

Alastor x Reader

| Part 1(here!) | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Summary : You sold your soul to Alastor and had no idea how big of a deal this was. Until recently, you finally learn what it means, and realize all that Alastor had been doing was just a lie.. or was it?

Pairing : Alastor x F!Reader, Huskerdust? (M!Reader here, Gn!Reader here)

Warnings : swear words

Additional Tags : Angst, miscommunication, misunderstandings, Alastor actually being nice?!, no use of (Y/n)

Ib : Who's in Control By Set It Off

Word count : 1.8k

"Good morning, dear."

"Morning, Al." You reach the lobby and take a seat on the floor next to Alastor's chair.

"How was your sleep, darling?"

"It was good! And yours?"

"Aha, hilarious, really. You know I don't sleep, my dear." He places a hand on your head and gives your hair a ruffle. "You really do know how to brighten my day."

The rest of the team reaches the lobby, and you all gather around for your daily dose of trust exercises.

-----

You and Alastor had been growing closer and closer ever since your arrival at the hotel. There was no doubt that he was your favourite person there.

And, well, for Alastor, he never wanted to admit it, but everyone in the hotel could tell, and even he was aware.

He was growing a soft-spot for you.

It was never supposed to be this way. He was never meant to grow attached. It just somehow happened, and that was that.

Everything between you two was going great. Except for that one little issue that bothered Alastor.. but you didn’t have to know. He never tried to abuse any of that power when he asked for your soul. He never thought of doing anything to you.

But there comes a time in every relationship where a lie can ruin it all.

“Hey, sugar. How ya’ doin’?” Angel Dust leans by the bar counter, greeting you as usual.

“I'm doing decent. Husk and I were just talking about you.”

“We were fuckin’ not!” You watch as the cat's ears twitch, the drink he was originally pouring tipping over.

“Oh, really? No need ta’ lie Husky~” You laugh at Angel's teasing, which makes Husk let out a low growl. “At least I don't gawk over a certain demon so obviously.”

“Hey! Are you talking about me and Al?”

“Who else would he be talkin’ about?” Angel tilts his head to the side, giving you a knowing glare. “Ya’ can't even deny it.”

“Al and I are just friends.”

“Kid, Angel's right.” The cat can only do so much but sigh. “You don't know him as well as I do. He treats you differently.”

“Still, we're just friends-”

“The Radio Demon doesn't do ‘friends’, kid.”

“Yeah, well, he owns my soul. Of course he'd treat me differently.”

The way it so simply came out of your mouth like it wasn't some big deal. Both Husker and Angel Dust froze in place, staring at you wide-eyed.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“What.. what did you just say?” The spider can hardly comprehend the news you'd just dropped.

“He owns my soul..?”

“Kid. What the actual fuck?!”

“What the fuck did he do to you?! Ya’ alright?! Are you hurt?”

You watch as the two demons skim your body up and down, firing questions at you, checking up to make sure you weren't hurt.

But you were confused.

“What's going on? Why are you guys suddenly acting so strange?”

“Wh- Why did you sell ya’ soul to him?!”

“Fuck I knew he was up to no good!”

“He told me by selling my soul to him he'd protect me from everything and anything at all cost. I didn't see a reason to decline?” You reply to Angel's question, ignoring Husk as he mutters about himself being correct. “I got nothing to lose.”

“Ya’ got everything to lose, shitass.” You hear his voice start to crack slightly as you realise tears welling up in his eyes.

“Angel?! Hey, what's wrong?”

“Damn, kid. You really don't know shit, huh?”

“About..?”

“What it means to sell your soul.”

“I know what it means, Al said-”

“Forget that fucker.” Husk practically spits out his name. “D'you know why I work here at the bar?”

“Because you like your job..?”

“No. It’s because I was forced by the person I sold my soul to.”

“Who..?”

“Hell, kid.. you really can't take a hint?”

And just like that, he says one more name, and your whole world comes tumbling down on you.

He didn't actually care for you, he was just shaping you in case you came to use.

He didn't actually enjoy your company, he was just watching you to make sure you were obedient.

He didn't actually mean any of the things he said. He was just trying to manipulate you.

And you were so damn lost. So damn lost as to whether the control and power you thought you had, really belonged to you.

“Valentino is an overlord.. and he's your boss?”

“Yup.” Angel nods.

“And he owns your soul like Al owns Husk’s?”

“Exactly.” Husk replies.

“And there's no escaping this contract..?”

“No.” The two reply together.

“Fuck.”

-----

“Greetings, my dear! How are you on this fine morning?” The static sounds from Alastor's usual seat at the lobby where you all gather every morning.

There's that usual smile etched on his face, which, you used to believe looked genuine when he was talking to you, but it seemed that wasn't the case.

“Hey, Husk. Hey, Angel.” You greet the two on the couch, completely passing by Alastor and ignoring his whole existence. “Mind if I sit?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Angel scoots over and makes space for you to squeeze between Husk and himself. “Ya’ look like hell.”

“You alright, kid?”

“Couldn't sleep much last night, but I'm fine.” You reassure them.

The rest of the crew were a bit startled at your display, knowing well that you refused to not sit by Alastor's chair, normally.

And here you were, ignoring him completely like he was no longer relevant, and hanging with the other two demons.

“Okay.. what an interesting way to start the morning!” Charlie tries to break the ice.

Everyone turns their attention towards her.

Everyone but Alastor.

He was practically fuming with rage, anger, irritation, but yet, a tiny bit of worry.

How dare you ignore the Radio Demon like he was some piece of useless trash?

But then again.. why were you suddenly acting so cold and distant? What did he do wrong?

He couldn't help but focus his attention on you throughout the entire day, but you didn't even spare him a single glance.

Needless to say, you felt a knock on your door that night.

“Darling, how wonderful to see you! Wonderful, really. Mind if I come in?”

“A little. What do you need, Alastor?” You stand at the door frame, hand still on the door handle, prepared to slam the door in case anything happens.

Meanwhile, Alastor was pissed. You had never rejected inviting him in for late night chatting, in fact, you never rejected anything from him.

“It's nothing, really. I just hoped to have a friendly little chat with you, if that's alright?” Alastor leans down to your level, tilting his head and giving you his usual smile he reserved for you, and you only.

“A bit busy. Maybe next time.” You attempt to close the door, but a hand swoops in and, damn, was he strong.

“Dear, what seems to be the issue?”

“I’m really busy, Alastor.” You sigh. His ears twitch at the name. Where were all his sweet little nicknames? Why were you only referring to him by his full name?

“Clearly, something is wrong, and I ought to find out what I had done to deserve such treatment.” He states, making himself welcome in your room. “Talk to me, darling.”

“Oh enough with the pet names, I’m not your fucking pet.” You roll your eyes, closing the door behind you to make sure no one stumbles upon your little predicament.

Alastor stiffens, then laughs.

“Whatever are you talking about, dear? Of course you’re not my pet.”

“The damn contract says otherwise..” You watch as Alastor shifts uncomfortably, his back still facing you. “I should’ve known you just wanted another soul. Fuck you, Alastor.”

You continue on about how you never should’ve trusted him, and how you finally knew about everything so there was no point in him pretending to tolerate you.

Alastor, however, could barely process anything you were saying. He could hear his own static in his own head, and it was growing louder and louder.

What the fuck was happening? How did you know? What did he ever do? Where did he go wrong..?

“Darling, please.. You don’t understand-” The radio filter in his voice was off, his actual voice coming out as a soft plea.

Taken aback, you stopped talking. Alastor turned to face you, smile still etched high and proud, but his eyes looked like he was about to break.

“Alastor..” You murmur. “I just don’t think I can trust you anymore. I’m sorry.”

“When have I ever used any of that power on you?!” Alastor snaps, eyes darting all over the place, trying to find out what to do to fix all this. “I’ve been nothing but nice! I.. I helped you when you were in trouble! I did nothing to hurt you..”

You watch as Alastor starts losing his usual composure, having it slowly drifting away.. It was heartbreaking seeing him like this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to forgive him and pretend nothing happened.

“It doesn’t matter when you’re in control..”

“No.. darling, no! You’re in control!” He scrambles, grabbing you by the shoulders.

“Really? I’m not sure I trust any of that bullshit anymore.”

“Dear, please, listen to me..!”

“I'm sorry, Al.. I think it's best if you leave.”

He pauses.

“Have a good sleep, dear.” He says, voice filter completely off. It was a rare occasion getting to hear his sweet voice. Too bad it had to be under such circumstances.

-----

“Oh my, Alastor, what's got your ears pinned back?” Rosie leads her friend through the halls and has him take a seat opposite of her. “Is everything alright?”

“No.. no it's not.” He replies. “She found out.”

“About the deal?”

“No, Rosie. No.” He sighs. “She found out what selling her soul to me actually permits me.”

“But you never wanted to abuse that power, did you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then, I'm assuming you didn't tell her?”

“No.”

“Well, why not?”

“Would it make a difference?" She could practically hear him scoff. "She's irritated at me as is. It's not like she'd even heed my words."

“Come, now, Alastor. You know as well as I that the sweetheart would listen.” Rosie tuts, waving a hand at him.

“She doesn't need to know how powerful she actually is.. she doesn't need to know her soul is being gambled this very second.”

Alastor sighs, getting up from his chair.

“Thank you for your kind words, Rosie. I shall take my leave now.”

“Take care, Alastor.” She smiles. “I'm sure she'll understand.”

“I surely hope you're correct."

———/ TBC. /———

READ PART 2 HERE

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