#they deserve worse than this
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daniel watching mclaren drop to p5 in constructors championship
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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what i like about movies like Heathers is they ask "what if teenage girls committed atrocities?" and then they take a good hard look at teenage girls and conclude that what's already going on is worse
#murder and terrorism? not ideal but somehow LESS gruesome than the Actual Everyday Crimes of High School Bullies#and the thing is they're not Wrong#i mean yes the former is *technically* worse than the latter#but it just doesn't capture that CHILL FACTOR u know#(also just a sidenote but i feel like Mean Girls very much definitely deserves to be included in the category 'if u enjoyed Heathers')#like Mean Girls is not TECHNICALLY a psychological thriller. but also it Completely Is
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No no no no no no no I‘m DONE.
#women deserve better#radfem#radblr#radical feminism#feminism#radfems do touch#radfems do interact#radfems please touch#womens rights#sex based rights#this is RAPE#rape culture#rapists should receive a treatment which is worse than any of you could imagine#burn Germany#honestly BURN to the ground#in Canada this stuff has led to MURDER#and regardless of that#THIS IS RAPE AND THIS IS EVIL#for the first time in my life I‘m going to say#KAM
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what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!
#girl what are you doing......#also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT#just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄#girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you#if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌#his muder is a part of him and its SEXY#robert chase#house md#malpractice md#i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf.....#i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5#s6 everything instantly goes to shit#and stays shitty#chase should be happy fr#he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house#like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman#anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc#also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing#this has been a shitpost#anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf.......#anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer#i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show
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A rant under cut that people may not agree with idk sorry i just need to get it out
Sorry i’m home from work now and not done yet another reason why I’m actually pissed off is that George is being treated so fucking badly that obviously people, me included, are going to feel fucking bad for him and hope he’s alright. He shouldn’t have anyone feeling bad for him as HE fucked up, however the reaction is SO FUCKING SEVERE and does not match up AT ALL to what happened that obviously people are going to be like ??? what the fuck.
Crazy ass death threats with tens of thousands of likes, doxxed to the moon and back, removed from Vidcon’s creator list, edited out of Nolan’s video and removed from the Feastable’s IG post, everyone and their mother “taking a stand” against him to make themselves look better, friends unfollowing and deleting any trace of him from their accounts. Like. You would think he did something way fucking worse than what he did. And that’s not even something we should be thinking about!!! Because what matters is that he hurt Caiti!!!! And yet he’s being treated worse than fucking Wilbur! and Illumina! and even PUNZ!!! who has worse fucking allegations against him.
The reaction is not that of people who care about Caiti, or of people who care about victims, or of those who genuinely believe he’s a bad person. This is the reaction of people who just want him to fucking kill himself because they’ve always hated him and his friends and it’s not NORMAL!!!!
#i cant fucking deal with braindead fucking idiots like#giving him a ‘punishment’ way fucking worse than the behaviour deserves is obviously goikg to make people defend him and feel fucking bar#bad#why cant people be fuvking Normal and agree he should apologise to her and own up to it and fucking#idk#declare that hes going to be fuckimg trying his damn best to improve#and then move on#discourse#what do i tag this with#george situation#?#anyway
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Nie Mingjue's Fatal Journey crying scenes appreciation post
There's no way I wouldn't make this post, but it ended up way longer than I intended.
Fighting with Huaisang
When is this man not tearing up?
This fight is so important for Huaisang's character development and the movie's themes, with Huaisang being ready to challenge and question the Nie ways and Mingjue doing his best to uphold those traditions and keep the peace through the only way he knows how.
But it's still hard to be challenged like this and to face the possibility that everything you've ever known might not be right, actually.
And this gif specifically is from the moment Huaisang questions if Mingjue even knows what they're there to fight and what this supposed great evil that will come to Qinghe if they fail to balance their blades even is. Mingjue has no answer, of course, I suppose he was only taught this and never had reason to question it.
But Huaisang is also talking about the disciples they already 'lost' at this point of the movie, and he says something along the lines of " You don't know anything, you only know how to bring them here to die" and that does it. Because it's both "you can't follow these rules blindly when they rely on sacrificing people" and "you've changed and I don't trust your judgement on these matters anymore".
And as he says it, Mingjue looks at their disciples and he sees the puppets for a moment. And Huaisang just questioned if the other disciples were really attacked by puppets.
So that's a big moment and Huaisang is right, of course, but he doesn't have a confirmation that this is the result of Mingjue's health deterioration yet, so he keeps pushing. And Mingjue doesn't really have a counter argument because he knows what's going on with him, but it must be very scary to hear it from the person you care about the most and realize just how much you're being affected.
(Actually, Mingjue has one counter argument and that is "Well, I am at least trying to do something while you're painting and living a carefree life", and he's not wrong either. Huaisang is right and rightfully harsh, but this is the first time he's being confronted with these difficult choices and all their family history. He can reflect on and question it, but his brother has been meking those hard decisions since he was 14, when did he ever had a break to question and change things?)
Which leads us to
The Talk
After seeing his brother sacrifice himself for him at the bridge, and then seeing Mingjue be so vulnerable and lost, that anger from their fight is gone. They can meet in the middle with "You are right, I wasn't thinking straight, this is not a long term solution and I've failed at changing our ways" and "It's not your fault, you did everything you could but you're not responsible for this situation" and it's very beautiful and heartbreaking.
Mingjue is so remorseful, both because he has condemned Huaisang to die with him and because he feels like he failed everyone and everything (even if he doesn't seem to know what he could have done differently to avoid all this).
And Huaisang's reaction in this scene is so calm it made me think this Huaisang is somewhat used to his brother displaying vulnerability around him. This isn't book NMJ with all his victories, this isn't a man who never let the Unclean Realm be conquered and who could afford to keep Huaisang far away from the war. This is a man who was attacked and subdued in his own home, who had to send Huaisang to the hands of the people who killed their father.
This Huaisang doesn't have reasons to see Mingjue as this unmovable force, he has seen Mingjue hurt and threatened and fearful; and he's now seeing him remorseful and defeated.
(I'm sure Mingjue telling Huaisang about the fact that he's dying and admiting his mistakes and insecurities is something new, especially considering their previous fight, but this Huaisang doesn't take it as a shock, because he knows his brother is only human and there's only so much he can handle. He even, like, explicitly says this)
And so he assumes this calm, reassuring and empathetic posture, because that's what his brother is asking for. And it's the most beautiful thing, Huaisang has so much love for him, so much empathy. And this is Mingjue's reaction to his brother's reassurance that it's okay if they have to die there:
I'm sure Huaisang is still processing Mingjue's "I only forced you to practice because I'll die soon", but he's so good at reassuring his brother.
Because Mingjue just told him "I am dying and I'll go as a failure" and Huaisang insisted "None of this is your fault and you did everything you could and more, and if I have to die here with you today, I don't regret a thing, and you shouldn't either".
There's no despair or anger that his brother is only telling him this now, there's only understanding and acceptance and so much love and they really knew what they were doing with this movie.
His people love him
Mingjue is so moved. He just admitted to Huaisang that he's not in peace with his accomplishments, or lack thereof; that he feels ashamed to face his ancestors, having done so little.
So I truly believe Mingjue doesn't consider himself worthy of this much trust and support. (And I can't ignore how this is tied to the Nightless City situation, where he led the men who trusted him with their lives to a dangerous situation and couldn't save any of them).
As we see in the confrontation at Jinlintai, that technically happens after this movie, that is still a very sensitive topic.
And here he has his loyal disciples saying they will follow him yet again, despite his previous 'failures'; just like Huaisang was ready to die with him. They have so much trust in him, and the way he's nodding a little here, just like he was nodding when Huaisang reminded him of everything he's done for their sect since their father died, is like he's convincing himself of it. That he can do this and he can do this right this time.
And yet
He fails again. And I don't even think he knows it was him who killed those disciples, like some people say. He doesn't need to because it doesn't matter. His men, who followed him till the end of the world, are dead again. And so is the hope he had of doing this one right thing before he dies.
Yes, he supressed the saber spirit like he had to, but they're still dead, all of them.
He falls apart, how could he not?
At some point I'm sure Huaisang his holding all his weight because he just gives up. There's only so much loss one can handle and that's way too much.
And look at the way Huaisang is watching him as he realizes something inside Mingjue shattered forever.
There's so much pain in this scene, it looks physically taxing and I hope people gave Wang Yizhou a break after he shot this. I know it's his job and he's phenomenal at it, but this has to mess with your head a little.
And hey, it's a Huaisang crying scene as well. CQL Huaisang only really cries twice. First he watches his brother have a mental breakdown in his arms after unknowingly killing his own disciples; and then as he watches his brother qi deviate and die, while unable to do anything to either stop or comfort him.
(And a lot of people said there's no hesitation on Huaisang's part when he rushes to his brother's aid when Mingjue is hurt on this post's notes, and that's true for book Huaisang too, because he runs towards Mingjue as he is qi deviating, gets hurt in the process, and still keeps calling for him, which makes CQL's decision to have JGY holding him back kind of cruel, tbh, there's not a Huaisang who would run from a hurting Mingjue regardless of the risks
But at least we have this scene.)
And that's it, I guess. There's nothing uplifting to say about this, really. He just went through a lot and kept shouldering everything until he couldn't anymore. I just wish book NMJ had gotten to receive the same love and comfort and acceptance from NHS before he died, I wish he had been able to tell his brother what was actually happening, but thats kind of the purpose of this movie, so I'm just very grateful that it exists.
It's like that post says, it didn't change anything but the love was there, you know? That's how this movie feels for me.
#nie mingjue#nie huaisang#fatal journey#cql#long post#now this is meta with gifs#sorry i can't even attempt to joke a little about this movie everything is just sad from start to finish#the gifs might look worse than the ones on the other post and that's me not knowing how to deal with fatal journey being so dark and green#that talk they have feels kind of like an absolution for nmj doesn't it#book nmj deserved that too#oh yes we have two tearing up scenes#one crying scene#and one bawling his eyes out scene#on a movie that is less than 1 hour and a half long so he's crying the entire time; really
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An important aspect of youth liberation is not tying the idea of later adult care with having children.
The broader attitude that only your children can ensure that you get taken care of when you grow old is not a good precedent to set. Having children should not be what ensures that you can live through old age, and fear mongering people with the idea that nobody will ever take care of them (or, rather, shouldn't) is such an awful motivator to have children.
#politics#youth liberation#yes some children will take care of their parent/s when they grow old. that is bound to happen. that isn't what i am talking about though#i am talking about a broader attitude of 'if you don't have kids you'll die alone and painfully. by the way! 🫰'#sometimes i wonder if that attitude also guilt trips children to stay and take care of their parent/s#like i am very much never taking care of my abusers. and sometimes it seems like people think if you as a child don't devote your soul...#...to your parents you are Worse Than Satan#this especially goes for childless or child-free folks too. they deserve to be taken care of because they are PEOPLE#and not because they have fulfilled the Being (Good™©®) People Quota
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SOMEbody failed his wisdom save to resist unlimited tadpole power, and that somebody is definitely my tav Mayhew. a WIP:
mindflayers are incredibly fun to draw fwiw, do recommend
#i don't usually do linework but it's super fun#the bg3 theme about loss of identity - often expressed through increasing monstrosity - is incredibly my jam#what if you can't make it through as the same person you began - literally? what if you save everyone and are made worse for it?#what if you're a liar and a cheat in a story where consequences are inevitable & inescapable? what if there are debts that always come due?#how much worse would you make yourself for love? for curiosity? for the sake of others who deserve better? for power?#mayhew's answer so far to all of those has been 'a lot worse' and consequences just came to call#bg3#the emperor#bg3 emperor#mayhew#gnome tav#my art#me drawing: how buff can i make a tentacle. very buff? even buffer than that?
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Just saw someone refer to the literal footage of the pogrom in Southern Israel as “Zionist Propaganda” so like. Get blocked. Fuckstick.
You antisemitic monsters cannot wail for “evidence” of the atrocities committed by Hamas because you refuse to believe it happened despite the seemingly endless accounts (and yet you were willing to accept that Israel bombed a hospital without a second thought) and then refer to the video evidence TAKEN BY FUCKING HAMAS ITSELF as “Zionist Propaganda”.
At this point ANY good faith I had in you fucking antisemitic shitstains is gone. At least the Nazis are up front about the fact they see me as subhuman. You whine and wail about needing more proof and then when we have it, you claim it’s propaganda.
Just call me a kike and leave like I know you want to. Just be honest about the fact that your care for Palestinians only extends to the length that it allows you to celebrate Jewish death.
We will NEVER trust you again. Ever.
#antisemitism#i/p#I am fucking livid#never forget my ass you monsters REVEL in our suffering#i will never forget this glee at Jewish blood and I will NEVER forgive any of you#you all claimed to support me when I was queer and disabled#but the second I’m a Jew then I deserve to die#controversial opinion but imo leftist antisemites are worse than the Nazis rn#becaus at least the Nazis are OPEN about hating me#leftist ghouls hide that shit so they can use the movement for a marginalized people’s freedom#as a shield when they start spewing their antisemitic racism
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genuinely, if you're one of the people who believes it's the palestinian people who are committing these crimes and who is excusing them because of it, unfollow me. its hamas. you're making excuses for hamas. i can not believe we have reached a level of stupidity and glorification of violence where people will look you in the eyes and tell you that this is just how oppressed people act. that they just go on killing sprees ever so often. that is gross and untrue.
#and if you think any person deserves to be r*ped killed etc? fuck off.#i genuinely dont really care anymore. looking at this websites reaction to violence aimed at a the population of a country they don't like#has shown me how trult deranged some of the people here are. like i had an argument with someone who said civilian deserve hamas' violence#'no one will miss you'#and i had a full on s*icide bate#complete with a description and the good ol' no one will miss you#and like. i dont really care. that person is clearly doing worse than i am#but if that is the reaction you get for saying 'k*lling people bad' i truly dont know if i can stand this website any longer
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so like do you ever think about john doe
#sorry guys hes taking over ny brain again#his situation is so fucked up what the hell 😭😭#like yeah ok objectively arthur kinda has it worse#but imagine#you get torn from your former self and trapped in a book#then after killing multiple people you finally find a suitable host#but then you get attached and now youre no longer your former self#then your new human friend (who is quite literally all you have (and want)) kills himself to save you#even after you betrayed him and lied to him. multiple times#and you get separated and when you come back hes angry at you for having changed#but you had to make a deal with the literal devil to keep him alive and be together again#you work through it but then you have fulfil you end of the deal which indirectly causes him to meet this fucking priest#who is MONOPOLISING on your person’s attention#and since you seem to be suffering some form amnesia you desperately cling to normalcy – to when it was just the two of you#(but you know deep down you’re never going to be enough for him because he deserves more than a fractured monster imitating humanity)#(because he deserves the /world/ and if you could you would give it to him)#so you try to chop that priests arm off (he asked to be fair)#wouldnt that be fucked up#malevolent#unhinged aromantics#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#john doe#john malevolent#arthur malevolent#malevolent john#malevolent arthur
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someone said it on twitter but i can’t find it - but it’s astonishing how people found it more believable that a woman in her 20s concocted a scheme over multiple years to frame her millionaire, worldwide-famous actor husband of domestic abuse, as opposed to the possibility that this famous actor (who is almost 20 years her senior and has publicly-known problems with alcohol and drugs since the 90s) was so angry that his moment in hollywood had passed, he wasn’t as popular as he used to be, but that his wife was doing better at the box-office than he was, she wanted to leave him and he just couldn’t stand the idea of her being happy or financially stable without him. misogyny is a fabulous thing isn’t it.
#makes you really think huh#anti johnny depp#i stand with amber heard#johnny depp#tw abuse#i hope she gets the vindication she deserves very soon#because she suffered THE worst online harassment and bullying i have ever seen in my life#worse than tr*mp p*tin....harvey weinsten kevin spacey any male abuser basically
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thinking about how will has probably come to terms that mike has chose el over him. and that he might never have the same friendship with mike as he once had and that he’s probably gonna be okay bc as long as mike is happy and el is happy, he’s fine with being in the background and no longer being the most important person in mike’s life. he’s come to terms that he won’t spend his life with mike, that they won’t play dnd and nintendo and whatever other games they like. and he’s also come to terms that there is no point in arguing with mike anymore about their friendship, he’s tried twice and was made out to be the bad guy and got yelled at. and so he won’t try anymore, he’ll take what he gets from mike, even if it’s just crumbles, even if the only reason mike keeps him around is so he can vent to him about his relationship problems. will won’t bother with asking mike to pick him, to ask mike why it came to this and why mike can’t seem to treat will the same way he does with lucas and dustin. he’s come to terms that he’s the only who’s the problem and who wouldn’t get his happy ending and he’s fine with it because as long as mike is happy with el then he’s happy too.
and isn’t that just sad.
#byler#will byers the boy with the worse luck#and that’s why i believe in byler bc no one the suffer brothers will let this poor boy suffer like this for 4 seasons straight#he’s getting the boy and the boy is mike#it doesn’t matter if you think mike isn’t good enough for will or that will deserves better than mike bc#will deserves to be with the boy he loves#will byers#mike wheeler
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I know that benophie fans are upset about Benedict and Sophie getting skipped for Polin, and I totally get it. But at the same time, a part of me's relieved that we're getting Polin out of the way. Their fandom has become so loathsome that I honestly can't wait for this season to be over and done with. I love Benedict so much, almost as much as Eloise, and unlike Eloise, I don't have any hang ups with his book relationship, so I'm truly looking forward to seeing him getting the limelight he deserves. And while it's miserable having to wait longer, I know I will enjoy his season all the more with Polin (hopefully) taking a backseat.
At this point, Polin is the broccoli I'm forcing down (or trying to skip) before I can get to the tasty part of my meal.
#Bridgerton#Benedict Bridgerton#Benophie#anti Polin#anti Penelope Featherington#because I am fond of#Colin Bridgerton#who I have a feeling is going to deserve much better than he gets#ideally we'd get Polin over and done with#have an excellent season for Benedict#in which Eloise has a cool subplot about her getting up to feminist rebellious hijinks#and the series ends before they can marry her off to Phillip#seriously though everyone close to Penelope is worse off for it#Colin has to marry her#Eloise has to have her for a friend and marry Phillip#there's a direct correlation to not being close to Penelope and having a satisfying endgame
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Just saw tbosas movie and I have such an URGE to write a snowjanus (is that their ship name?) fic where unknowing Sejanus becomes an accidental sugar daddy and coriolanus gets dragged kicking and screaming out of his villain arc by falling in love with Sejanus
I fully believe Coriolanus is unhinged enough for me to make this plot work
#listen LISTEN I know coriolanus especially book coriolanus is a vile vile person and deserved a worse death than choking on his blood#and getting beaten by a mob there is no fixing him he sucks#I know tbosas is so much more than shipping with deep themes about society and the human condition#hOWEVER this would be so funny#I can multitask with being a shipper and a person with reading comprehension#tbosas#snowjanus#the ballad of song birds and snakes
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