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#these are both good and valid stories to tell
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In defence of Steve Randle
Listen guys, Steve Randle gets a lot of hate in this fandom and as much as it pains me, it's valid. Everyone has their own interpretation of the source material, and fandom is supposed to be fun, so it is absolutely valid and ok to hate or love any character you want. You can hate Steve for many reasons or for no reason at all! This is fandom! That's ok! The story is for you interpret and love and play with and hate on to your hearts content. HOWEVER, to say that Steve Randle isn't an important character to the novel is simply not true, and to say that he hates Ponyboy requires ignoring or downplaying some pretty key moments of the book. This is especially true for those of you who love Dally but hate Steve, because Steve gets a lot of hate for being kind of a dickhead (which lbr, a lot of seventeen years old are, especially to their friend's little siblings) while Dally gets less for doing a lot worse (harassing Cherry, jumping kids, etc). This isn't to say that either character is better- they're both great, nuanced characters who have done bad things, but the fandoms attitudes towards them when they share a lot of characteristics is really telling. Even Ponyboy's narration about them is pretty similar- Pony doesn't particularly like Steve, and he was canonically scared of Dally, but they're both members of his gang and he doesn't hate either of them. You don't have to like Steve as a character, just like you don't have to like Dally or Darry or Tim Shepard or even Ponyboy, but he is important- and he doesn't hate Ponyboy, nor does Ponyboy hate him.
A really important moment in the book is when Ponyboy and Johnny defend Dally after he harasses Cherry and Marcia.
"Dally's okay," Johnny said defensively, and I nodded. You take up for your buddies, no matter what they do. When you're a gang, you stick up for the members. If you don't stickup for them, stick together, make like brothers, it isn't a gang any more. It's a pack. A snarling, distrustful, bickering pack like the Socs in their social clubs or the street gangs in New York or the wolves in the timber."
This line here is super important. Pony and Johnny were willing to defend Dally after he sexually harrassed Cherry and Marcia- soc girls who they clearly liked and were intimidated by- in the name of being a good friend, because that is what's important to them and their gang. If they're willing to do it in this context for Dally, you'd best believe they'd do the same for Steve, and him for them. Steve can and will rag on Ponyboy within the gang, but he'd never dream of bad mouthing him to anyone else. Dependability is important to the gang, and Steve would never publicly shit talk Pony, and vice verca. Regardless of their squabbles within the gang, at the end of the day they've got each others backs. They're buddies. We see evidence of this at the end of the book, when Pony grabs the bottle and threatens the socs with it.
"You really would have used that bottle, wouldn't you?" Two-Bit had been watching from the storedoorway. "Steve and me were backing you, but I guess we didn't need to. You'd have really cut them up, huh?"
The important thing here is that along with Two-bit, Steve was backing Ponyboy, no questions asked. Sure most of it boils down to Pony being a member of the gang and that deep rooted loyalty to one another, but the context for this scene is that Ponyboy was sitting on Steve's car waiting for Steve and Two to stop flirting with some girls. The three of them were hanging out- without Darry, without Sodapop. It's their school lunch break. We know Ponyboy has middle class friend's at school, or that he could've spent time in the school library. It was a deliberate choice to hang out with Two and Steve. He wasn't forced into it. Canonically, Steve and Ponyboy hang out. Never alone, but they're decent enough friends to hang out together in a group. Doesn't everyone have friends like that? I do. This isn't the only textual instance either where they hang out without the entire gang being present. Early on, Pony offhandedly mentions that sometimes Steve and Soda will buy him pop and teach him about cars if he hangs around the DX.
"I had walked down to the DX station to get a bottle of pop and to see Steve and Soda, because they'll always buy me a couple of bottles and let me help work on the cars."
He could've just said Soda's name here but he didn't. Steve buys Pony pepsi and teaches him about cars, even though he gets annoyed with him when Soda invites him to hang around with them too often. And honestly, who wouldn't? I'd be annoyed if my best friend always invited her little brother along with us, even if I liked the kid. Wouldn't you?
Now, we do need to address the elephant in the room. I'm talking of course, about this quote;
"I'd never tell Soda, because he really likes Steve a lot, but sometimes I can't stand Steve Randle. I mean it. Sometimes I hate him."
I feel like very often people forget the context this quote comes from, and so it's magnitude is blown way out of proportion. Ponyboy has just been jumped and then immediately scolded by his brother who constantly makes him feel foolish and unwanted. He's already scared, embarassed, and defensive and then Steve goes and makes him feel even more unwanted. Of course he wants to lash out. Of COURSE he feels like he hates Steve in that moment. I did even reading it. But Ponyboy doesn't truly hate Steve. This moment is PEAK fourteen year old having a rough night energy, it's not truly representative of Steve as a character or of Ponyboy's feelings towards him. In truth, Steve actually kind of likes Ponyboy and is at very least protective over him. This is evidence by the previous quotes, but also when Ponyboy comes back from Windrixville, and is worried about the state placing him in foster care;
"'No, [Ponyboy said] 'they ain't goin' to put us in a boys' home.' 'Don't worry about it,' Steve said, cocksure that he and Sodapop could handle anything that came up. 'They don't do things like that to heroes.'"
It's subtle, and not immediately obvious to the traumatized fourteen year old who is used to Steve's cocky nature, but this is both a reassurance and a very bold claim. Not only is Steve trying to look out for Ponyboy the way the rest of the gang models- by treating him like a kid, letting the 'adults' worry about grown up issues in a misguided attempt to protect Pony- he is also throwing in his lot to make sure nothing does happen. Based on this quote and the rest of Steve's characterization throughout the book its not hard to infer that Steve would fight tooth and nail to make sure Ponyboy stays safe with his family. Sure, part of it is gang loyalty, part of it is his devotion to soda, but part of it is because he and Ponyboy are buddies in their own right, no matter how much they fight. They are friends- and Steve is an incredibly important character for many reasons, but particularly to add depth to Pony's character, to the bond between the Curtis gang, and to highlight how the Curtis gang differs from the other gangs in Tulsa. Steve is just as much an outsider as the rest of the gang, and it's disingenuous to say otherwise no matter how much you may hate him as a character.
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moonyinpisces · 1 day
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Hi! I finally read HDWTOTL after seeing the cover art submissions on my dash for days. I won’t be emotionally the same ever again. Thank you, genuinely. But anyway, I was wondering if I could get some general writing advice?
I haven’t ever finished a story, and my problem is this: I can’t propel it forward. I have ideas for the beginning or middle of a story, but they’re just vague, disconnected scenes or emotions. I can never bring it to an end. And I can’t seem to bring people from location to location in a way that doesn’t feel very awkward.
Sometimes I look back at the writing I’ve done in a day and I realize it’s nearly all dialogue. Is this just my sign to be a screenwriter?
Or is there another angle to telling a story I’m not seeing?
How does one go from being a shit storyteller to a good one?
Thank you❤️
oh my gosh, thank you for reading hdwtotl and reaching out!! and yes, i can absolutely help you out, i'll throw my thoughts + advice down under the cut <3
i've always struggled with exactly what you're describing until relatively recently. i could get the barebone structure of a story down (beginning, end, vague plot points, dialogue-only scenes, etc.) luckily you mentioned you have disconnected emotions as one of the building blocks, which is, imo the most important thing you can have as a writer.
all that writing is is having an emotion and using all the tools in your arsenal to make someone else experience that same emotion.
that's all it is. what you're describing re: pacing and progression are all valid concerns, but i think you should remove that from the equation for now and just focus on what certain plot ideas make you feel, and how to evoke that feeling in others. personally, i struggle with properly explaining myself UNLESS i'm writing fiction. like, i can't tell you what i'm feeling, but i can make you feel the same way, and in the end we're now on the same wavelength. i don't think that's THE way to write, but it's the way i approach it and i couldn't do it any other way.
as to how to grow/push past what you're specifically struggling with: i think what helped me the most to develop myself as a writer is write the world around you. if you saw a sunset over farm hills in late october, how would you describe that to depict the feeling it evoked in you? the chilliness, perhaps spookiness, the beauty WITH the context that it's ushering in darkness, the dying plants, the cows huddling for warmth, the sound of a passing train. both the material and the immaterial work together in tandem in fiction -- what does the narrator sense from both? do that until it becomes second nature; if i see something incredible irl, you best believe my mental typewriter is going nuts. (the bentley scene in chapter 11 of hdwtotl had existed in my brain for MONTHS sentence-by-sentence WITH paragraph breaks before i finally got it down lol)
so if i were you, that's what i'd work on first before trying to bring it bigger picture with a beginning-middle-end as i think your pacing will naturally develop from it as well. what do you see, how do you feel, and how can the reader come away with both of those things without having been where you are themselves. also single scene oneshots to get in some practice translating that to fictional spaces.
good luck, i hope you break past this!! we need more storytellers out there
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britcision · 2 years
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So I was thinking about Iron Widow and the Hunger Games because superficially, they follow similar arcs; a teenaged girl from an oppressive system fights the government
They’ve both got commodified violence as entertainment, a powerful emphasis on glamorous photoshoots, and lots of sinister machinations for our leading ladies
But when you put them side to side, they’re extremely different, and not just in the themes they explore. I think it comes down to one thing: agency
Katniss is living a pretty rough life before her story starts, and her situation sucks, but she is almost entirely independent. She has people she loves and won’t lose, and can consider just vibing off into the woods, even if she never would
The community is on her side and show it periodically, but things go from bad to worse extremely fast for her
Her first enemies aren’t alien hordes or callous killers who’ve led a hundred girls to certain death; they’re just other kids, in the same shitty situation, and as much as she tries to hate them, she can’t
Katniss is reasonably and understandably traumatized by what she’s been through, and loses her agency at every step as she’s pulled around by other peoples’ plans. She doesn’t want the rebellion and she doesn’t want an army; she wants to go home and be safe
Oh, and her love triangle is missing a side
Zetian though? Zetian’s former life fucking sucks, and we meet her on page one ready and willing to die for what she wants because she has nothing left that is hers
She has tried to run away, enough times to have “yet another escape attempt”, and is completely dependent on the people around her. She’s told her life’s worthless until she believes it, but no one considered “what if she wants to go out with a bang”
Zetian does see the political picture immediately, even if her understanding is as vague as “stop killing girls”
And while the army does spend a time trying to torture her with starvation and neglect before she meets Shimin, it’s really not much worse than how she’s used to being treated
Getting on camera and into battle, into physical violence that she can strike back with rather than just receiving, is a liberation for Zetian, and gives her her first ever taste of agency and power
She’s the first Iron Widow to survive and bear the name in public because she’s the first who went live on camera after a battle and couldn’t just be swept under the rug
The army can’t afford to kill her, but she’s perfectly happy to die for what she wants and she pushes back immediately and constantly against anyone trying to control her. She capitulates only on her terms, only when she gains from it
She’s a happy bisexual with two proud bi boyfriends because fuck what anyone else in the universe says, she wants it and it’s hers. She’ll worry for a moment if she’s got to choose (and if she’ll accept the choice made for her) and promptly decides the whole thing can go fuck itself because only her (and the boys’) wants matter
Nobody wants Zetian to lead a movement and change their world; if she won’t die quietly in a chrysalis, they want her to stand quietly at Shimin’s side as an accessory to make him more powerful
Her life is immediately, materially better from the minute she survives a second battle, and arguably from the moment she enlists because it’s finally under her control
Tl;dr? Katniss’s story is about losing control of her life and everyone has something they want from her. Zetian’s story is about seizing control and doing the shit that absolutely nobody wants her to do because she can
Katniss doesn’t want to lead a revolution
Zetian’s not giving the world a choice because she’s a one woman army and is the revolution
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undefeatablesin · 6 months
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Altar is finishing in about 3 pages and I am emotional about how many people embraced my little gay comic and my little gay hunter, thank you all!!!
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recurringwriter · 1 year
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okay but i really am. in love with writing. like deeply and passionately.... there are so many little things to think about. character growth setting culture conflict pacing tension voice. and knowing when to revise and when to do small tweaks and when to throw it all away and start again from scratch. it's such a vast and delicate collection of skills and we're all constantly growing into our new selves and our writing reflects that too!!! it's amazing!!! writing is the best, i'm so glad that i'm a writer
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palin-tropos · 1 year
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starplanes · 2 months
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A (5 star) review of Bury Your Gays, by @drchucktingle!
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I read this book in one sitting. I did not plan to read this book in one sitting, but I could not put it down, accepting that my lunch break was now an extended reading break. Bury Your Gays was just that good.
It starts simple. Screenwriter Misha has been told by his exec that the season finale of his show must out, then kill the two leads. He needs to bury his gays because the board has determined it's where the money is. Misha says no. Then starts getting stalked by his (definitely fictional, right?) characters from other shows. Either Misha developed some incredible supernatural powers in that meeting, or something more sinister is at work…
Bury Your Gays illustrates why queer people should be allowed to tell the stories they want to tell, instead of being made to use queerbating, tragic tropes, or fake relentless optimism in the name of corporate Pride. It's a story about the queer struggle to find oneself in a world that makes it so, so hard. There's a lot of love for the queer community poured into this book, and oh does it shines. I especially adored the ace rep - and the concept of ace rep as a plot point. I shall not explain further. However, I am more scared than ever of the corporatization of Pride.
Bury Your Gays also criticizes capitalism's monetization of tragedy and exploitation of workers. It explores what happens when ethics are ignored in the name of an ever-growing profit margin, to the point where the bottom line becomes a near-sentient thing. It leans into the horrors of AI and data-mining by combining the two and going all the way with it. Chuck Tingle has acknowledged all my fears of black box algorithms and also made them ten times worse. Truly a feat! I will be sleeping with my router off!
It's a masterpiece of horror, both visceral and psychological. Since the main character is a horror writer, the story is very genre aware. There's a lot of fun to be had in the tale of "writer being followed by the monsters he wrote," and certainly no small amount of terror. It gets gory here and there, with plenty of suspense in between. Hints are laid out for the reader, enough where I was occasionally able to predict what was coming just a page or two before it landed. My jaw dropped multiple times! The writing is descriptive enough to pull you right in (and gross you out!), and it's paced near-perfectly. There's all these little moments sprinkled in that elevate the whole story, from fun references of other work to subtle clues you'll only catch on a reread.
This book will be living in my head rent-free from now on. It's about so many things and yet has interwoven them all perfectly. Fans of classic horror movies will love this story. Those of us fed up with AI generated trash will love it. Anyone who joined a WGA picket line will love it. Asexuals fed up with lack of representation will love it. People who watched multiple seasons of Supernatural will love it. Is that you? Go pick up Bury Your Gays. Be scared, be sad, be angry. But also validated, loved, and joyful.
TLDR: Read this book when it comes out on July 9!
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itaipava · 3 months
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— how f1 boys would comfort you.
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˒ ⌕ LANDO NORRIS
he would try to distract you with chatter, light-hearted jokes, and would have a hard time leaving you alone unless he can tell that you really want him to or you tell him directly. he would hear you out and let you rant to him, but he would trust you to figure stuff out by yourself and would support you in whatever way he can. he would remind you of all the good things but rather than forcing you to listen to him, he would gently show you through small actions by bringing you your favorite comfort food or even taking you to your favorite spot in the city.
˒ ⌕ DANIEL RICCIARDO
he comforts by sticking by your side as much as possible - both literally and figuratively. if you want to get out of the house, he’ll go with you and if you want to let off some steam by ranting, he will listen. when you’re upset, the last thing he wants is to leave you by yourself, unless that’s what you really want and need. he would also get a bit protective and would get angry at whoever made you upset although he would try not to show it for your sake. he would also share some of his own experiences with the topic so that you don’t feel alone.
˒ ⌕ CARLOS SAINZ
his first instinct would be to reassure you that your feelings are one hundred percent valid and that it’s okay to feel this way. however, he would also give you space and let you process your feelings and thoughts on your own and he’ll silently and kind of lowkey provide comfort by taking you out to do some relaxing and “therapeutic” activities. he won’t bring up the issue unless you do it first. he trusts that when you’re ready to talk, you will.
˒ ⌕ CHARLES LECLERC
he’s very sympathetic and understanding. he comforts you by letting you rage, rant, or cry - he’s not the type to tell you to calm down. to him, rather than keeping things in and letting the negative feeling grow, it’s better to let it all out. he’s the type to hold you, look into your eyes, and tell you that you will get through this but even if you don’t believe him or try to “push” him away, that’s fine because he knows you need time and space to process your own emotions.
˒ ⌕ LEWIS HAMILTON
when you’re upset, he gets very concerned but tries not to show it. his approach when comforting you is to be patient and understanding. he doesn’t rush you into feeling better and allows you to take as much time as you need. you can tell him and rant about the same story repeatedly and he would patiently listen to it each time, never showing annoyance or disinterest. he also gives physical comfort so he hugs and cuddles you more. amazing at giving advice too although he does so only if you ask.
˒ ⌕ OSCAR PIASTRI
he offers comfort by letting you know that you can depend on him for anything. he’s an incredible listener and he usually gives very sound advice. however, if what you’re going through isn’t exactly a logical matter, then he’s more than happy to listen. he knows that when a person is emotionally hurt, some practical matters can get overlooked, like cleaning the house, and he takes care of those for you and eases the burden at least a little bit.
˒ ⌕ MAX VERSTAPPEN
he comforts by trying to lighten the mood. he would make jokes just to try to make you laugh but he would never make light of the situation. he thinks a change in scenary or location is always helpful so he would suggest going out and doing something fun - depending on how serious the situation, he might take you to that cute new cafe in town or weekend getaway overseas. he’s more likely to spoil you with little gifts that would make you smile.
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soobnny · 10 months
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classmate au | yang jungwon
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❝ i’ve retired from the student council lmao ❞
heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | JUNGWON | ni-ki
yang jungwon
where do i even begin
in the first year of highschool, he used to be THE class president
resident teacher’s pet, sits in the front, yada yada… typical good student stereotype
BUT NOW??? 😭😭😭😭
he just goes to school to be silly
don’t get me wrong like he is smart n still receives good grades
but he isn’t the 100% school jungwon from 7th grade
MOVING ON
how do you befriend yang jungwon
he’s actually a friend of a friend!
apparently, rei had met him when she was in the student council for like a year
so naturally, you eat lunch together at the canteen
he always has those cool lunchboxes and just rly GOOD food for lunch that he doesn’t share
you didn’t know what to expect from the boy when you first started eating lunch together
maybe timid??? shy??? bossy?? you don’t know bc he’s in a different section
you certainly don’t expect him to know about every single possible GOSSIP in the school
he says it in such a funny way too like
yang jungwon storytelling skills 10/10
and he laughs so hard like he will draw attention to your table bc he’s laughing so hard
but it’s valid bc the things he says sometimes are so unhinged that even YOU can’t help the loud cackles
tho you don’t rly become close friends until sports fest season
you hang around each other ++ additional friends BUT they’re always in some contest so you’re left with jungwon most of the time
“do you want to leave and go to the mall??,” you’d ask more as a joke
but he agrees
YANG JUNGWON agrees to skip sports fest to go to the mall with you im in tears
that’s how you find yourselves in a small karaoke room at the mall
he drags you to the arcade too
the original bet was loser pays for the winner’s lunch
but then u lost every game and u looked so cute pouting that jungwon suddenly changes the rules
“FINE… winner pays for the loser’s lunch”
he pretends to be so upset about it too so that you can grab his arm and shake it around to try and get his attention
he gives in obv
then he takes u to lunch at one of like ur fav places and ure like omg ??? u think it’s telepathy that he knows
BUT NO he listens to your stories during lunch time and you’ve mentioned eating here and loving it before
he even has your order down but he tries not to be too obvious about it ☹️☹️
yang jungwon listens to you even tho you’re seated a few people away from him
womp womp it rains when u decide to go back to school
you two end up running in the rain together
WELL technically at first you tried to share his umbrella but then the both of you got too flustered
so when u started to stray away from his umbrella .. he CLOSES it
he takes your hand and goes running for the school so you can take shelter from the rain
the teachers and students look at u like 🤨🤨
anyways jungwon and (name) ABSENT from sports fest
the only thing you remember the event by is bc u joined picture taking before leaving the school grounds
it’s so natural hanging out with him
nothing ever feels forced bc he’s just so goofy and silly that you never feel crazy when talking to him
ever since then !!!!! he’d sit closer to you during lunch time
then he’d start waiting for you outside your classroom just to tell you something ??
will find every excuse to talk to you
and if the teacher needs something from your room? bye he’s VOLUNTEERING just to see you for a few seconds
ofc the teachers just think typical Jungwon behavior
but no … this is typical Jungwon with a Crush behavior
ALSO picture this
his classes end earlier than yours
he will literally pass by your classroom a million times and peek through the open door to make like brief eye contact with you
sometimes .. u don’t notice him and he just admires the way you look on forward to the teacher
also pretends his class ended late so when ur class dismisses he’ll be like “oh let’s talk to the cafeteria together!”
he’s not slick abt it
WHAT DID THAT MALL TRIP DO TO HIM
why is he suddenly so down bad and willing to do everything to hear you laugh
(he starts sharing his food with you btw i know… very shocking for him who ltrly Never shares)
he finally confesses after a school event that ran longer than it should’ve
so he sprints at you and tells you he needs to tell you something bc he is going crazy
CONFESSES !!!!!!!!!
ofc who are you to reject him.
be careful when you start dating bc i firmly believe he LOVES kissing 😹
like he is obsessed and will just be kissing you all the time i’m sorry i’m pushing this agenda
tho ofc in hidden areas!!!!!!!
he doesn’t want his beloved teachers catching him who still has an image of being a teacher’s pet
soooooo like……
“come here, let me kiss you”
you even receive TEXTS as if you’re some sort of sneaky link (you’re not)
“please meet me under the stairs beside the student council office and prepare your lips 😘😘😘😘”
under the stairs, the side of the basketball court, an empty classroom … everywhere
BEHAVE yang jungwon
he’s so clingy and so smug too
has you as his lockscreen
it’s so funny bc someone would borrow his phone and your zoomed in face would just flash in his phone
talks about u to his friends all the time
“isn’t my girlfriend so pretty?,” with this smile 😊😊😊😁
lets you wear his school blazer
sometimes he even switches ur pe shirts
HE DOESNT TELL U
He just likes seeing the big fat “yang” printed on your back
STUDY DATES
he makes his kisses a reward sometimes like if you get this question right he’ll SMOOCH u
he’s honestly so good at being academic support like he knows exactly what to say bc 7th grade him was a different breed n be was so eager to please and always felt so pressured
jungwon a Veteran u guys
helps you in the subjects you’re not so good in
tbh teaches better than your teachers sometimes
like he’d stay behind in class and it’s only the two of you in the classroom and he’ll start WRITING on the whiteboard
just starts lecturing to help you for an upcoming exam
ANYWAYS
honestly just good luck to you and your poor lips
oh also your poor stomach bc he will always make you laugh
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note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy
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munariplans · 5 months
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36 hours | natasha romanoff
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synopsis: set between civil war and black widow, your love for natasha, and her patience for your return, is tested beyond what the both of you had ever gone through before.
natasha romanoff x spider!reader
word count: 3.9k words
a/n: this is a bit messy but i felt the need to draw a general timeline for the characters of is there someone else? and your sweater. i admit i have grown a sort of attachment for the two from there, but i also wanted to know if you guys want more stories / blurbs / headcannons for these two, or whether i should try new things. let me know?
masterlist
36 hours. 36 hours to bring in a known fugitive, a possible terrorist, and his dear accomplice steve rogers. it was barely enough time. 
and here tony was, making you wait outside of a window of an apartment in queens, waiting for the perfect time to, in his words, swing in and show the kid what he’s made of. you remembered telling him that you would show him what you were made of if he didn’t make it quick. 
you dared to sneak a look into the bedroom the moment tony managed to sneak the kid away. he was barely fifteen. but the impressive speed that he caught his jumbled, homemade suit with when tony opened the attic door showed skill no normal fifteen year old possessed. 
“you’re spider-boy?” 
“...spider-man.” the boy replied, and at tony’s snap of his fingers, you slipped in, standing behind him for support as the boy gawked at your entrance. 
“mm,” tony remarked, “this is our spider. you see her in a onesie like yours?”
the boy took time to rake his eyes through your advanced technical suit, crafted through years of precision and “user”-testing in the fights and missions you had managed to get injured from. every flaw was covered, every inch of space for injury accounted for. 
you looked past tony to the video of the boy saving a car from crashing onto a bus, before swinging away at lightning speed. “how’d you figure out the perfect formula for the tensile strength?”
“i…”
“i like the goggles too,” you snatched the suit away from tony’s amused smirk, “good attempt at keeping the focus. sensory overload, right?”
the boy nodded. “you’re just like me. you get me.”
“i get you.” you replied, “but you’re in dire need of an upgrade.”
you stepped back this time, and watched as tony began his over-explanation, oversimplification, of the situation at hand. the kid watched with wide eyes, clinging on to every word he said, while you rubbed the material of his homemade suit between your fingers, wondering how you were going to teach him every single upgrade and function of the new suit you had designed just for him in 36 hours. 
36 hours to capturing steve and bucky, and 36 hours to fixing things with natasha. 
you couldn’t wait. 
-
“i still think tony’s going a little overboard,” natasha muttered to you, arms crossed at the back of the quinjet. 
you approached, the low hum of the jet preventing you from hearing her clearly earlier. she continued, “he’s ridden with guilt. he’s not thinking clearly.”
“but he’s still right.” you sat next to her, the atmosphere tense. you had been having this argument even since the idea had popped into tony’s head. “and you’re still here.”
“because i think the other side is more mistaken, not because he’s right.”
“steve is the one going overboard. he’s blinded by the love he has for his friend.” 
“...weren’t you blinded by love before?” natasha accused, “for me, all those years ago?”
you were stunned for a moment. natasha knew she made a valid point. but then, you reaffirmed, “it’s different. steve made a mistake, we shouldn’t be the ones deciding who lives and who dies. i should’ve forced him to sign the accords when i had the chance.” 
the sight of the airport drew nearer and nearer. in front of you, you saw peter fidget nervously in his new upgraded suit. 
you were wrapping webs round and round the suddenly enlarged ant-man, one of his hands gripping rhodey. with an agreement for peter to strike ant-man’s legs, the giant soon fell to his knees with his entire lower half webbed, groaning when the war machine broke free from his hold. 
in your peripheral vision, you saw natasha running after steve and bucky, her words ringing in your mind as you instructed peter to finish off ant-man from getting back up again. a thumbs-up was sent his way when he did, the smile on his face reaching his ears. 
weren't you blinded by love before? 
you hoped she would do the right thing, as you returned your attention to helping tony take down wanda and clint.
but even as you fought, her words kept coming back to your head, and by the time steve and bucky were mere seconds away from the quinjet, you made up your mind to zip to natasha to check in on her. 
weren’t you blinded by love before?
you watched in horror as she stunned the black panther, him spasming and dropping to his knees. you watched with even more horror as she let the fugitives go, steve helping bucky climb into the quinjet and starting the engine. when steve shut the latch of the jet, he made eye contact with you hanging off the hangar, and nodded in thanks. he knew you were letting him go, too. 
mostly, you were even more horrified at your automatic reaction to catch t’challa from lunging at her, forcing him to the ground as his claws barely missed her face. in consequence, his own claws tore through your suit instead, the vibranium stronger than the nano-technology defences you had designed the suit with. 
you seethed in pain as the claws came back doused with blood, the burning on your back sure to leave a definite scar as it hit the cold air. 
you struck a web to his face, before throwing him off of you and quickly webbing him to the wall of the hangar. 
natasha felt your hands shaking her just moments later, still in shock that you had jumped in to help, and save her. 
“the webs are not going to hold him for long, nat,” you said when her eyes managed to refocus on you, “and you just obstructed justice. you need to go, now.” 
“i…i couldn’t let them…” she stuttered. 
“i know, i know,” you assured her. behind you, t’challa was breaking loose. “i’ll stay here and explain everything to them. but you need to run, and hide, for a while. tony told me he was planning to send anyone helping them to the raft. i can’t let you go there.” 
“what about you?” her hands tried to stop the blood seeping through her fingers from your back, but you were firm. 
“i’ll be okay. i’ll come find you after i’ve settled everything here and it’s safe for you to come back.”
“promise…?” natasha knew you were right, but her heart was saying otherwise. how could she possibly bear to leave you behind and deal with her consequences? how could she go anywhere without you by her side? how would she know you’ll come find her again?
“i promise. i love you.” you left room for no argument. 
she was gone by the time the black panther broke free, the ghost of the feeling of her lips against yours still replaying in your mind. 
ross’ face was possibly on the verge of exploding, listening to tony’s recounting of events and your, arguably non-convincing reasoning, of why chasing natasha would be a fool’s errand. 
“her hand slipped. she was supposed to stun bucky, hit t’challa.”
“that’s not what t’challa said. and that’s why you’re handcuffed to the table now.” ross called through your bluff, “you’re lucky you’re not sitting in a cell in the raft at all.” 
the chains against your handcuff clinked the table as you sighed, waiting for your own course of beration and punishment from the team.
somewhere out there, you hoped natasha was safe, and that she had successfully escaped ross’ team sent out to arrest her. 
– 
years ago, a few nights after you and natasha had made your relationship official, she had asked you where you would live, if you could live anywhere in the world. 
“norway,” you replied. 
“why?”
“i don’t know. seems like a nice place to be. it’s calm, quiet, relatively crime-free.”
“then you would be out of a job, you know?” natasha teased, her heart skipping a beat as you let out a laugh. 
“i’ll find something else,” you assured her, “i’ll survive.” 
you turned to her then, prompting the same question she had asked you. she had replied, “anywhere with you.” 
– 
now, you were currently hinging on the sole fact that all roads and clues pointed you to her being in norway. 
it had been six months since the events of the team’s civil war, a week since you had begun using a fake passport to get on flights, and three hours since you have been driving along the gravel road where her trailer was supposed to be. 
truth be told, you were nervous. you were afraid of natasha’s safety, and you worried whether she was blaming herself for losing the family she had grown to love in the past few years. and selfishly, you were mostly nervous if she had forgotten you and started a new life altogether. 
but natasha no longer lived in the trailer by the time you got there; you found out upon hiding and attacking the first person that entered the trailer that wasn’t her. when he choked out bitterly that she had left just an hour before you arrived with another woman, your heart sank. 
they had boarded a jet and flew off to find someone. he had been helping her throughout her being in hiding. he bothered to mention that she talked about you all the time. he told you that she was losing more hope of you coming back day by day
doesn’t matter. she has someone else now. 
“is she…is the girl she’s with…” you stuttered for the first time in your life. the man across from you removed the ice pack he was using to nurse the bruise you gave him. 
“i don’t know. didn’t seem like it, though.”
you nodded, at a loss of what to do. now what? you came to find her, she’s gone, you don’t know where or how else to look for. and she likely has someone else now, too. 
what if natasha didn’t want you back?
mason looked at you then, almost in pity. you felt very bad for punching him to get information out of him. 
“for what it’s worth, with the technology you have in your suit, i’m sure i can help link it to the approximate whereabouts of the aircraft.” 
you looked up to him with hope, nervousness bubbling in your stomach again. “a-are you…?”
“fuck it, i’m sick of natasha bemoaning about missing you everyday. i’m going to help you find her.”
-
natasha sat by the oak-coloured bench as she stared across the table to yelena, equally donning a new getup as she. downing yet another bottle of beer, she wondered if yelena deserved to know about you, or whether she was only putting you in more danger. but then, she wondered selfishly, if you were even bothered to come find her at all.
it’s been six months after all. six months without her must have been pretty peaceful for you, with all the storms and misfortune she felt she had brought into your life. maybe it was for the better that you had chased her away. maybe you had wanted her to go, so you could move on with the life you had always wanted for yourself. 
fuck. the alcohol was making her want to cry. everything about you made her want to cry. natasha missed you so much. the coldness of the spot in bed beside her each night, one less coffee mug she shared each morning, the empty space beside her when she needed someone to hold her. 
she never knew how dependent she had gotten on you, until you had to be separated. you have truly changed her, inside and out, and while natasha could complain about it otherwise, deep down in her heart she knew she would not have it any other way. 
how long more did she have to wait?
yelena gave her a weird look, and natasha excused herself to the bathroom. she couldn’t let her sister see her like this. 
-
but in the five minutes that she was gone, natasha came back to an empty bench, with the shop she had bought the beers from deserted and the shutters shut. it was as if the owner had suddenly upped and ran.
upped and ran. fuck. they found her. 
grabbing the gun holstered to her side, natasha called out slowly, “yelena…?”
silence. “yelena?”
nothing again. her aircraft was still there, and when she approached slowly, wary of her surroundings and any widows, the crunch her boot made with a branch underneath triggered the loudest scream she had ever heard. 
in the next second, a blur of two figures landed before her, wrestling to get the upper hand. yelena was screaming with all her might, and above her…above her, natasha could recognise that suit anywhere. 
it had her initials carved in the inner lining of the heart area, after all. 
“where is she?!” your voice sounded raspier, deeper than she remembered. you sounded tired and wary, too. 
but the hands pinning yelena down said otherwise, your strength overpowering hers as yelena tried desperately to free herself from under you. “where is what–asshole–!”
“where is natasha!” you pressed down on her neck, and at the choke yelena let out, the switch finally flipped in natasha. 
she screamed your name, from metres away, and at the immediate recognition, you faltered, and shot your gaze to her direction. she knew you couldn’t see her clearly under the low light of the broken street lamps, but it was her. 
the next thing you knew, though, the woman under you had wrenched a hand free and shot you in the neck with a widow bite. you cursed at the sting from the shock, but then all at once, darkness ensued. it definitely wasn’t the same widow bites natasha had designed over the years. 
-
“you nearly killed my wife, yelena!”
“how was i supposed to know that was your wife? i didn't even know you had a wife!”
-
when you woke to, it was yelena, the woman who nearly tried killing you, that was by your side. when the world stopped spinning for a while, you recognised that you were in the very aircraft mason had told you about. 
“hi,” you groaned lowly, fingers reaching for the spot that the blonde had shot the widow bite at. it was wrapped in a bandage.
“welcome back, my sister-in-law.” 
this time, she offered you a hand, and you took it gratefully to shake it. “sorry i shot you earlier. to be fair, you did try to kill me too.”
“fair game.”
the door slid open then, and at the sight of natasha entering, holding onto a pile of makeshift medication and bandages, your heart managed to stop beating for a while, if possible. 
her hair was longer, face a little more tired, worry lines etched into skin that was not so taut anymore. but still, she was your natasha, and she never looked more ethereal than in that moment. 
yelena had to step out of the room at the ferocity and aggressiveness that natasha engulfed you with, the squeals that left her sister’s mouth one that she would never have imagined hearing. 
“you came back, you came back!” natasha said in between tears of joy, as you hugged her even tighter. the nights with her pillows never replaced her body pressed against yours. 
“of course, i promised you,” you reassured, “i’ll come find you.”
“i thought–i thought–you’d given up, or i should give up,” she said between hiccups, sobs leaving her now at the incredulity of it all, “i thought you finally realised you were better off without me and–”
“nat,” you pulled her away to press a kiss firmly to her lips, “i would never do that.”
“i know. but you were gone so long and i waited. i waited and waited and…it was a long six months.”
you laughed, letting her lips chase yours once again. “it really was.”
when the two of you finally settled down and came back to earth, you snuck a glance at yelena, who you currently wished you had met in better circumstances, rather than nearly killing her to get to natasha. 
“guess i didn’t get on the best footing for meeting your sister, huh?” you whispered to natasha.
she nudged your side, prompting you to smile at yelena. she gave you a weird look, but awkwardly smiled back. “yeah, and you know what’s even crazier?”
“what?”
“you’re about to meet my parents, too.”
-
you sat awkwardly beside natasha at the dinner table in melina’s house, shifting uncomfortably as yelena just burst out screaming that the “family” natasha had always told you was made up of red room agents, was always real to her. 
you thought she looked like a child throwing a tantrum. then, you bit the inside of your cheek and berated yourself for thinking so, because yelena of all people, was a woman who never did get a childhood at all. she deserved at least this. 
under the table, you felt natasha hold your hand for support. you squeezed it gently. she’s got you. 
you soothingly wrapped around her trembling fingers, still. because as strong as natasha was, biting back and spitting at her “parents” then, she was still hurt, and a teardrop had fallen to the side of her face that she had quickly wiped away. the teardrop no one would have noticed, except you, who had been wiping almost all of her tears away in the years that you had been together.
later on, when your spider-senses overloaded with the impending arrival of dreykov’s men, while natasha and melina argued over their plan to finally take him down, you found it hard to ignore the crying coming from yelena’s room. and you felt even worse for what you were going to subject her to later. 
natasha entrusted you to deal with taskmaster, while she handled the big man himself. you were about to argue, fearing for her safety and protection, but with a warning glance from her mother on your possibility of doubt over natasha’s own skills, you kept quiet. you had to trust your wife. 
but what natasha failed to tell you, however, was that taskmaster was more competent, and dangerous, than all the other widows involved. she had told you that they would be difficult, sure, but you hadn’t expected difficult to include you struggling to catch your breath, making up new moves on the fly to prevent the human weapon on copying your combat style almost perfectly. they had used your agility and swiftness against you, and you were convinced that had they had your webs, you would almost certainly be done for, too. 
“i don’t want to kill you,” you wheezed as you managed to sneak a move to tumble them to the ground, but the way in which they glared back at you and aimed a launcher right at your face, told you all that you needed to know. the feeling wasn’t mutual. 
with the help of natasha’s father in finally locking the taskmaster in a cell momentarily, you took the opportunity to find her, even as explosions rang through your ears and the shaking of the base showing the impending signs of doom. 
– 
you held her as the both of you free fell through the skies, natasha’s fingers holding on to you as if you would disappear from her once again. 
“i’ve got you,” you murmured into her skin. she nodded slowly, telling you she understood. 
you deployed the parachute when you reached closer to the ground. natasha had gotten very good at getting over her fear of heights, as she latched on. years ago, she was still screaming in fear each time you brought her swinging through the city after your dates and missions together. now, only a small exhale left her lips as you landed her softly, safely, on the ground. you smiled to yourself at the change you only noticed now. 
“i still have…i have to…” she gestured towards dreykov’s daughter, the taskmaster, behind you. you wish you had known. 
you nodded understandingly. natasha was kind, kinder than anyone you knew. she was just like that. “go. do what you have to do to set her free. i’ll stay behind, in case you need help.”
“after she almost knocked you out?” a hint of a playful smirk, you jabbed her side lovingly. 
“i was pulling my punches! you told me not to kill her.”
natasha snuck a kiss on your cheek. “i know. my hero.”
– 
you and natasha exchanged quiet smiles throughout the ride back to ross’ prison, or custody, wherever it was. it didn’t matter. she had taken down the demons of her past, and she had gotten you back. you had found her, and you were never letting her out of your sight ever again. 
weren’t you blinded by love before? nobody else mattered. not what ross had to say, not what tony had screamed at you for, not what steve or anyone else tried to convince you to do. being blinded by love for natasha was never a bad thing for you. 
“i never told you, but i like your new suit,” you whispered, holding her hands through your handcuffs. 
she hid the blush appearing on her cheeks. “i know. your hands said enough.”
“and your family too. your dad’s a character, and your mom’s really strong. stronger than me, that’s for sure.” 
“and yelena? my sister?” she found a way to interlace her fingers with yours, to the disgust of ross’ agents. you didn’t care.
“i like her the most. she reminds me of the best parts of myself. she’s humble, kind, funny, and sensitive, not in a bad way. and she’s like you, headstrong and stubborn.” natasha suddenly felt you slipping something into her fingers. a piece of paper. she kept it skilfully from the prying eyes of the agents in the car.
“just the way you like it.”
“you bet,” you leaned back, feet “accidentally” kicking ross and causing a momentary distraction for his guards to aim their guns at you all at once. natasha took it as her signal to open the note. 
there, scrawled in yelena’s handwriting, was an address that she had picked from the many safehouses you had so many years before. it was in new york, not far from where you and natasha lived. you had slipped her a burner phone before she left, too, as you informed natasha in your cells later on. 
“i know it’s all real for you, too,” you reassured the redhead, “and i never got to apologise for leaving you, and your avengers family, for so long. i wanted to make it up to you. we’ll make sure yelena is never far, and you will always have her by your side from now on.”
natasha felt her cheeks hurting from the smile she was sporting. “you know, i have spent my whole life trying to go home. to go back to how things were, to undo all that i have done in the past. and i managed to do just that, just a few days ago. take down dreykov, come back to my family, go back to my childhood home. but somehow, all of that was not home anymore. at least not the home i envisioned myself to go back to.”
“and what is the home you envision now?”
“you. i come back to your arms, and it is home now. nothing else compares.”
your fingers ghosted the wedding band on your ring finger subconsciously, scrunching your eyes and trying hard to fight back the tears from falling as you listened to her declaration.
36 hours or six months. the timing never mattered. you and natasha would find each other, and come home to each other's love, regardless.
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paperclipninja · 7 months
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Middle of the night GO thoughts after reflecting on a couple of comments that the 'you're being silly' scene is actually not just the adorable soft exchange I have been caught up in. I mean it is, but it also isn't.
And it got me thinking that the whole of season 2 is like this, almost the entire time we have two truths in play. The whole season is one of duality.
A few examples (there are many more woven throughout but just to illustrate the point):
Right off the bat, the opening scene, it's both ominous and hopeful. Aziraphale is restrained while angel Crowley full of abandon; one angel is aware of the danger of questioning, the other is naïve. Both are experiencing the same moment in rather different ways. It sets the tone of the season immediately and puts in motion this layered truth within the story.
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The minisode with wee Morag and Elspeth, the entire graverobbing premise presents us with the dual truth that digging up the dead is bad but the selling of the bodies to the surgeon, thus contributing to saving lives, is good.
Aziraphale grapples with the duality here, justifying the actions of Elspeth by convincing himself that one truth is greater than the other. We also see that Crowley is far more able to recognise the complexity of multiple truths being valid depending on circumstance. This whole minisode feels like Neil showing his hand a little bit, the duality is so explicitly addressed, meanwhile we, the audience, are engaged in a larger unfolding story in which we are observing similar layered truths playing out in different ways.
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Now the scene that made this whole thought process unravel, still one of my favourite scenes and will remain so, is the "smitten, I believe...you're being silly" exchange. It is both tender and awful.
Here we have Crowley, expressing his very real fear of JimGabriel, opening up to Aziraphale that he doesn't feel safe in the bookshop because of the constant fear he will wake up, and Aziraphale just looks at him with heart eyes and tells him he's being silly. This flags so loudly that we're watching two characters who are experiencing very different versions of their current reality, due to past experience, yes, but also, Aziraphale and Crowley each have their own idea about the right way to react to the current situation.
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It's been pointed out by many before me, but the ball is another example of incredible juxtaposition and an extraordinary display of two truths existing at once. It is both incredibly romantic and an actual nightmare.
It is reflected, once again, in the way Aziraphale and Crowley are experiencing it, we know one character is caught up in the romance, the other in the horror show, but as a viewer, we are being tasked with holding both truths in our mind simultaneously. And both are true.
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Aziraphale the entire season is both giddy in love and completely dismissive of Crowley. It is adorable and infuriating at the same time.
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And yes, it is a reflection of the very duality the entire premise of Good Omens presents us with - that something can be good and bad at the same time, pure and corrupt, that the entire binary of Heaven and Hell/good and evil is flawed because those concepts can and do co-exist.
But the way it is seen in the interactions on a personal level this season is what has leapt out at me. It's why I think we see people falling into different interpretations of a lot of the scenes and moments, because they are more than that, they are observations. We are often observing two sides of the same coin, and both are true. The sheer genius of it and the way it is a mirror to the characters and the entire concept of the show we are observing is, quite frankly, mind boggling.
And it all comes to a head in the final fifteen™. There is so much duality in play here that it is no wonder there are hundreds of posts untangling bits of it and trying to extract the meaning from within the many layers. It's because we are given two truths in this final scene that are both heartbreaking.
Crowley loves Aziraphale and wants them to be together, free at last. Aziraphale loves Crowley and wants them to be together, free at last.
BUT
Aziraphale wants to use the system to keep them both safe. Crowley wants to escape the system to keep them both safe.
And then all the moments of duality between them throughout the season reach a critical juncture: Aziraphale in love but dismissive, Crowley understanding that Heaven = good is too simplistic and trying to compel Aziraphale to remember the lesson from Edinburgh ("when Heaven ends life here on Earth, it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it"), Crowley trying to use the notion of romance to counter the nightmare with a desperate kiss.
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It's a complete inversion of those two truths in the opening scene of the season, the entire scene is at the same time ominous and hopeful, but it is Aziraphale who largely being naïve and Crowley who is aware of the danger.
I mean, it was all spelled out for us really, this duality and the fact that those multiple truths in play were always going to come to a head. It was all there, wrapped up in this quote:
"What does your exactly mean, exactly? I feel like your exactly and my exactly are different exactlies".
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askdiscordwhooves · 4 months
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This update was drawn by me, @jitterbugjive
I want to address one thing that I KNOW some people are going to complain about because they've already complained about if it would happen, and that’s The Doctor and Derpy getting together in the end. I understand the concerns. This is in no way meant to say ‘your abusers will eventually change for the better if you just say the right things to them’. This isn’t that kind of story. These are special circumstances that DO NOT EXIST in real life where the abuser was under MAGICAL mind control. That’s not who he actually is and when he’s himself he’s not remotely an abuser. He is safe from having a relapse, the curse is gone and over with because the core Discord was killed while the fragment left over in their universe has been reformed.
 Real abusers are not under any kind of puppetry or mind control when they do what they do, and no not even getting drunk counts as this because when someone is an abusive drunk they’re still choosing to get drunk when they are well aware of what they do when under the influence. If The Doctor did any of this abuse on his own terms, I wouldn’t have let them get back together. I’m an abuse survivor, I know better than that. When you try to compare completely fantasy scenarios that can’t happen in real life to.. Well, real life, you’re kind of reaching at straws at that point. Besides, this relationship wasn’t automatically better just because he returned to normal. Both of them suffered damage and trauma and both needed to navigate around it to be able to trust one another again. If there’s any kind of comparison to make, it’d be more like a loved one suffering a psychotic episode and doing horrible things they’d never do in their right mind. And some people are able to understand and forgive, while others are not. The pain of having a psychotic episode and saying and doing things that hurt people is really hard to overcome, it’s hard to trust yourself and it can be hard to make amends. But a psychotic episode does not dictate who a person is. It just doesn’t. And that’s the closest thing to reality this story is. I tried to handle this as best I could, because in my line of work recovery is the most important thing and I understand that someone coming out of a bad episode needs support and compassion (Unless they’re a terrible person in general) and there have been extreme cases where perfectly good people end up going as far as murder- even murdering their own children, but their loved ones are able to reason that they were sick and they are going to suffer great pain upon realizing what they’d done, and they are going to seek help. Maybe you wouldn’t be able to forgive someone who did terrible things in a psychotic state, and that’s within your right, but it doesn’t mean people who can forgive are any less valid. Listen, if a husband can be capable of not blaming his wife for killing their kids in a psychotic state (a very real event that happened rather recently, simply google “wife psychosis news killed children husband forgives” and you’ll find it), it's perfectly reasonable that someone can forgive someone who was under magical mind control.
If you are in a physically abusive relationship, you need to get out of it. The likelihood of this person changing for the better is extremely low, and you can’t cling to the idea of the rare few people who manage to work through these kind of things. Those are very special circumstances and in my opinion if there’s a relapse into violence after making genuine efforts to change, that should be the end of it once and for all. It shouldn’t be happening to begin with, it should not be tolerated. You matter, you deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion. Never let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise. Please take care of yourselves, and DO NOT use this story as a basis for how to manage your own relationships, no matter how much you might think you see yourselves in it. This is fiction, and the scenarios in this story do not happen in real life. If you can’t discern reality from fiction, that is all on you, not me.
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ivesambrose · 6 months
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𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓴
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1. 2. 3.
Here's to reminding all of you what your heart truly desires so you don't settle for less ❤️
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Picture 1
A love that feels like a gift and an answered prayer.
A love that happens in the right place at the right time.
A love built on understanding rather than endless compromises that make you lesser of the person you truly are.
You likely seek someone who is just as much of a giver as you are. You want a traveller, a merchant almost, a story teller, someone good with children or simply someone who brings out your inner child and soothes it. Someone who makes you feel secure and safe overtime. Someone who can guide you and that you can learn from. Someone who makes you feel beautiful.
You seek a type of love thar grows overtime, especially as friends, a reliable type of love, you also want to help others in need together, give back to the community, simply have more than enough. Love is supposed to be your safe space.
Avoid relationships or romantic partners who rush you or make you feel on the edge or aren't generous with their time, affection and resources.
Picture 2
A love that's crossed the oceans of time and burnt bridges and crawled out of the woods just to find you.
A passionate love.
A love built on something transcendal.
You seek someone uncommon but good with words and expression. You want someone expressive, determined and strong both internally and externally. Someone who does not required validation and can stay private but at the same time will express their love to you deeply.
You seek a type of love that is built on devotion. Your walls are titanium strong so to break that down and reach for the softness in your heart is not for the weak. You seek solid foundations and someone to build your own legacy with. Someone who mirrors you, you have a telepathy with and who will give you their world. You seek someone you can continue learning and growing fond of no matter how long time passes. You seek intensity as well as adventure.
Avoid relationships and partners you have no mental, emotional and physical stimulation with. With bare minimum efforts or if you feel you'll have to mask yourself constantly or settle just because they're 'nice'.
Picture 3
A love that quiets your anxious mind.
An honest love that doesn't make you question it's Integrity or make you watch your back with every step.
A love that will catch you if you fall. A love that won't judge you if you slip. A love built on thoughts, memories, words, secrets, poems, understanding and acceptance.
You seek someone emotionally present and mature. Someone calm and collected and soft spoken. Loudness and rashness really bothers you. You seek someone a little old school perhaps in aesthetics and approach yet open minded. Someone you can bare your soul to, tell everything to, know everything about and still feel secure. Someone to share your world with and travel the world with and maybe even create a one of your own together. Away from the norm. A love that feels like a warm hug on a winter's night. A love that writers about.
Avoid relationships and partners who can't understand your need to be silent and aloof sometimes. Avoid anyone and anything that makes you feel uncomfortable but insists that you're not supposed to feel that way.
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thankskenpenders · 1 year
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It's a bit late, but I figure I have to touch on the big news from today, which is that for an (early) April Fools celebration Sega went and released a free visual novel about Sonic getting murdered
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Here's a thing you should know about me: I am deathly allergic to ironic visual novels, and the related trend of announcing dating sims (which are synonymous with the medium of visual novels as a whole to many people) on April Fools
Aside from an incredibly small selection of titles that have seen wider success, it feels like much of the game industry is only willing to acknowledge visual novels as a punchline. And said jokes about dating sim stereotypes have been done a million fucking times by now. They're parodies of parodies of parodies. Even when these prank dating sims actually go and get made rather than just being a few fake screenshots, it feels like it's just because VNs are seen as cheap, disposable entertainment compared to "real" games. Companies can afford to commission some bullshit like the KFC dating sim and write it off as a marketing stunt. And it works. These games will get widely reported on for being so ~wacky~, while devs pouring their hearts into doing sincere, interesting work with the medium of visual novels are usually out of fucking luck. It's so, so tiring. The fact that this happens like clockwork every year has made me come to dread April Fools Day
So imagine my surprise when The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog drops out of nowhere and it's actually one of my favorite Sonic games in years
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Aside from the intentionally tongue-in-cheek, attention-grabbing title (and Sonic doing the Family Guy Death Pose), there isn't an ounce of irony here. It's just a straight up whodunnit VN set on a train, albeit a lighthearted and pretty easy one. It's still a Sonic game, after all, and Sonic games are for kids. But it's so clearly made out of a place of love, both for the characters and for murder mysteries, rather than being a parody that's constantly winking at the camera and going "haha, isn't this absurd that this even exists at all?" Forget that. This wants to tell a genuinely good little Sonic story. Not to mention how gorgeous all of the artwork is throughout, with character illustrations from IDW cover artist Min Ho Kim (AKA deegeemin)
Like, for real. I've wanted the Sonic games to explore the supporting cast more for years, and I can't believe the game to finally do it is a murder mystery visual novel released for April Fools. This might be one of the best showcases of the cast... ever, in the games? The script from Ian Mutchler is so, so great, with fun and cute moments for everyone involved. And, smartly, you see the cast through the eyes of a new character (I named them "Blorbo") who isn't necessarily familiar with things like Blaze being a princess from another dimension, making this a surprisingly valid way to introduce people to the supporting cast. I'd say more, but it's a short game, so I think everyone should just go out and play it if you haven't already
There is still part of me that wishes a Sonic visual novel like this could've been greenlit for release any other day of the year, rather than being yet another April Fools visual novel. But regardless of the excuse they used to make it, I'm extremely happy that this exists
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mindfulstudyquest · 6 days
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❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 ( 𝗮𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 !! )
𝟭. improve your writing skills ( ✒️ )
i feel that not everyone has the perception of how important it is to know how to write. you don't have to be a poet, nor the new emily brontë, but fluid, conscious, rich writing makes the difference. really. you could write a page without saying anything at all, but if that damn page is written good and smoothly, then you can be sure that you will get extra points. take the time to improve your writing skills, the best advice i have for doing so is reading. read as much as you can. read novels (non-fiction in this case doesn't help because the content is preferred rather than the form), read contemporary authors – you don't necessarily have to read sophocles' tragedies, but read quality stuff. expand your vocabulary, your knowledge of syntax, learn to use punctuation! and then write, tell stories, write love letters, write reviews of films, books, cultural festivals, open a blog on tumblr and write to practice, reread what you write ad nauseam, until it is perfect, until the form of your essay is pulitzer prize worthy.
bonus some of my favourite authors (tell me in the comments about yours!): ian mcewan, banana yoshimoto, haruki murakami, george orwell, josé saramago, albert camus, khaled hosseini, hanya yanagihara
𝟮. develop critical thinking ( 💭 )
if you have always studied passively by absorbing information and vomiting it onto a test sheet then you have wasted your time. taking on information is not enough, you need to know how to rework it and develop your own idea about it. especially in the arts and literature one may disagree with certain information provided by a textbook. developing critical thinking is not easy, especially due to the school system that teaches us to standardize thinking. always consult all available sources on a given topic, compare them, analyze contradictions. it might be difficult and tiring – our brain spends more energy processing two conflicting pieces of information than processing two pieces of information that agree – but it will be worth it. by practicing critical thinking and improving your argumentation skills, you will not only be able to improve in your studies, becoming able to present complex topics and make interdisciplinary connections, but also in daily life, you will become much less influenced and manipulated by external information.
𝟯. find yourself an interest ( 🌷 )
it could be anything, but find an interest that excites you and you enjoy and do research about it. watch videos, documentaries, read articles. it doesn't have to be school-related, it must be an external topic that you are passionate about and that allows you to rediscover the joy of studying and learning every time school seems to suffocate it. sometimes i'm not in the mood to study for exams, so i dedicate myself to my personal research and finally find my spark, my seek for knowledge. for example, my interest is true crime, it has always fascinated me since i was little, but yours could be wild animals, makeup, comics, ships, planes, ocean flora, literally anything. there is no constraint.
𝟰. analyze your mistakes and recognize your wrongs ( 🫒 )
there is no shame in making mistakes. everyone makes mistakes, we are human, but the real sin is getting bogged down in mistakes, refusing to acknowledge them, and continuing to make them again and again. we should be continually growing, continually discovering ourselves, both intellectually and emotionally. how many of you were the "gifted kid" when you were little and then grew up into burned out high school / uni students desperately seeking academic validation? there comes a time when talent isn't enough, you have to put in the effort, and this doesn't make you less intelligent or gifted, in fact, quite the opposite. dedicating time and attention to your personal and intellectual growth also means having to ruminate on your mistakes. it's scary, but it's the most effective way if you really want to improve. take a notebook and at the end of the day reflect on the highlights and the wrongs, what you could have done better, where you would like to push forward tomorrow, what you achieved today. did you make a mistake? first ask yourself why and then look for a way to solve the problem, make every bad moment a lesson, a brick on which to build the version of you you wanto to become tomorrow.
𝟱. don't be afraid of doing researches ( 🧃 )
the amount of fake news and misinformation online is appalling. opening any app like tiktok or instagram we are inundated with information that is often (not always, but not so rarely) inaccurate. don't be afraid to conduct your own research, if you have time to mindlessly scroll through tiktok you will also have five minutes to read an article regarding that information provided. don't know the meaning of a word? look it up before using it. not sure about a piece of information? check it before using it in your argumentation. in the age of immediate access to data we have no excuse to be superficial.
𝟲. master communication ( ♟️ )
mastering communication is essential in both personal and professional realms. it's the cornerstone of building meaningful relationships, whether it's conveying ideas effectively in academia or fostering connections in the workplace. developing strong communication skills not only enhances your ability to articulate thoughts but also empowers you to listen actively, empathize with others, and resolve conflicts constructively. ultimately, honing these skills cultivates confidence, credibility, and success in all aspects of life.
𝟳. push yourself out of your comfort zone ( 🧸 )
build your confidence. confidence is uncomfortable. don't be afraid of it. you are young, this is the right time to experiment, take risks, discover who you really are. this is the best time for you to do those things that you would otherwise never do, you don't want to regret later in life that you didn't accept that scholarship, that trip abroad, that job opportunity, because you didn't feel comfortable enough. do things that take you out of your comfort zone until everything becomes your comfort zone. go on solo dates, be a social butterfly, tell the girl at the bookstore you love her t-shirt, go to the theater alone, eat at a restaurant alone, take that trip. if it goes badly, you'll only have one funny story to tell.
𝟴. stay informed about the news (but not too much!) ( 🌍 )
this might be controversial, but: stay informed about the news, just don't overdo it. personally, i am an easily influenced person and i realized that being constantly exposed to the bad things happening in the world had drained me and made me terribly depressed. don't get me wrong, you need to be informed about what's happening in the world and in your country, just being constantly surrounded by horrible news repeated ad nauseam on TV programs is of no use. be aware.
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phoen1xr0se · 7 months
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I am a writer.
I started writing for the first time in over 18 years on the 2nd September this year. Only 25 days later, I have written 17 chapters, 58,503 words, my story read by 4,141 people, and have readers begging for more.
Now let me come to my point - what I am writing is fanfiction. And immediately this seems to discredit the effort, the hard work, the quality, the content - definitely not seen as proper writing. I'm not a proper writer. Because if it can't be turned into something I can make money from, if the ideas and characters aren't all my own, none of it is valid. I've been asked why I'm wasting my time on it when I could be writing something real (what they mean is something I can profit from).
The reason I picked up the figurative pen and began writing again is because I was so inspired by a pair of characters that I wanted to delve into them and learn them, elaborate on them, build a world around them. Writing about them brings me deep joy, finding beautiful words and painting a picture with them that makes not only me but my readers weep is a kind of magic I thought I had lost long ago, back when I still believed in love and people basically being good and all that shit. To know I still have that power, that I am making other people FEEL just through what I have to say, has brought me back from a very, very dark place.
Maybe I'll write my own stuff some day. Maybe I won't. But what I do know is that I will never do anything that's THIS difficult and all-consuming if it doesn't give me joy, or bring joy to others. I do it because I can't not do it. Because the story is screaming to be told, and I do my best to find the words to tell it.
A month ago I wondered what would happen if I turned the wheel of my car and flew off a bridge.
Today, I sat in St James' Park and wrote part of a beautiful chapter about a demon who has been rejected, abandoned and feels he is unworthy of love, who pushes people away, who cringes away from everything good because he knows he will ruin it like he ruins everything, who refuses to accept kindness because he feels he doesn't deserve it. As I wrote, I healed us both.
And it was a good day.
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