#theres shit to do to keep up appearances but i- currently i- do not give a fuck about thay stuff?
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yesterday was so chill. today m fuckin struggling
#to be fair i just read some real bullshit that is like. a problem for one of the leading influences rn#but even before that. woke up late. kinda listless. still got some of the 'do not observe the flesh' and 'avoid mirrors' shit goin on#theres shit to do to keep up appearances but i- currently i- do not give a fuck about thay stuff?#like cool. ill take the one thing thats gettin made for me/me reasons#but. adhd sunshine farts is the lead on that and like. yeah whatever#tired. dont wanna move. dont wanna fuck it up with typing the wrong thing#tryin to be reasonable about doin the things i- currently i- wanna do because of ground rules and like#not fuckin up. despite the jenga tower amalgamation of fuckups#also like. money and shit so if addiction shit happens thats just an extra layer of crap. rn its just fun and enjoyable#but cant keep avoiding shit with it. aint got the money aint able to do the jobs to get it#this town blows tbh. fuckin sucks.
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Hello! I hope you're having a good day!
So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!
I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!
I am... not.
and i haven't for a long time
I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST
the only tags will be trigger warnings
I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.
I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.
and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse
those are just what i can think of off the top of my head
but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.
im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.
i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days
i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.
i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school
if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.
im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.
i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.
im so tired
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OK AT LAST THE PROMISED ESMERALICE RANT
OK SO... THEY BOTH ENDED UP DRUGGING EACH OTHER MULTIPLE TIMES, AS WELL AS KNOCKING EACH OTHER UNCONSCIOUS AND WHILE WHEN POOFENPLOTZ WAS DOING IT(PREBREAKUP) SHE MOSTLY DID IT AS A WAY TO CONVINCE ALICE SHE WAS ENJOYING THE PARTIES AND GROUP STUFF POOFENPLOTZ WAS BRINGING HER TO("I MEAN, DENY HOW YOU GOT SHITFACED DRUNK ALL YOU LIKE, I HAD TO CARRY YOU TO MY HOUSE."(SOMETHING WHICH IS ALSO SPECIFICALLY MEANT TO TICK OFF ALICE BASED ON HOW YOUNG ALICE INTERPRETS PERFECTION)) WHEREAS. ALICE(BOTH BACK THEN AND NOW) MOSTLY DID IT TO KIDNAP OR TAUNT HER. IN ADDITION, ALICE(CURRENT ASSUME ALL OF THIS STUFF IS CURRENT) MIND CONTROLS OR READS HER MIND DESPITE POOFENPLOTZ DOING EVERYTHING IN HER POWER TO BOTH TELL HER TO AND MAKE HER STOP THAT, AND USES THAT CONTROL AND INFORMATION TO BASICALLY BE REALLY PETTY AND DIG AT POOFENPLOTZ, ALTHOUGH SHE ALSO USES IT TO LIKE. TRY AND KILL THE CLOSEST THING SHE HAS TO AN ACCEPTING FAMILY BUT WE'LL GET INTO THAT LATER. ALSO OBLIGATORY "NONE OF THE DRUGGING OR MIND CONTROL GOES IN A NON/DUB-CON DIRECTION. POOFENPLOTZ WOULDN'T WANT TO DO SEX USUALLY ANYWAYS BUT ITS A DEFINITE NO WHEN SHE JUST DRUGGED HER PARTNER, AND ALICE HAS VERY SPECIFIC "RULES" ABOUT MAKING SURE PEOPLE AGREE TO WHAT SHE WANTS IN THEIR "RIGHT MIND" (INCREDIBLY VAGUE USUALLY BUT FOR POOFENPLOTZ IT BASICALLY MEANS "NOT DRUGGED DRUNK OR MIND CONTROLLED") SO"
ALSO ALICE AND POOFENPLOTZ BOTH GAVE EACH OTHER EATING DISORDERS. THAT'S ONLY KIND OF A SIMPLIFIED WAY OF PUTTING IT. ALICE MADE SURE POOFENPLOTZ HAD TO "KEEP UP APPEARANCES" AND POOFENPLOTZ MOCKED HER ABOUT IT ENOUGH THAT THEY BOTH KINDA ENDED UP SPIRALING. IRONICALLY, THIS IS THE ONE SITUATION WHERE ALICE RECOVERED BETTER THEN POOFENPLOTZ. MOSTLY BY PROCEEDING TO GO "ACTUALLY I DONT CARE ABOUT MY EX AT ALL" AND DENIALED SO HARD SHE MANIFESTED NOT CARING ABOUT THAT STUFF EITHER ANYMORE. SHE DID THEN USE POOFENPLOTZS TECHNIQUES WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF ATTEMPTED CULT LEADER WISDOM TO GIVE OTHER PEOPLE EATING DISORDERS TO INCREASE HER CONTROL OVER THEM. SO.... YUP. ALICE ABSOLUTELY SNAPS AT POOFENPLOTZ ABOUT THE HORRIFIC DOUBLE STANDARD, BUT ITS WELL AFTER IT WOULD HAVE APPLIED AND WHEN ITS IN A SITUATION WHERE ALICE GOT TO HEAL AND POOFENPLOTZ STILL STRUGGLES WITH IT CONSTANTLY? OOF. (ALSO IM SORRY FOR THE JOKING TONE ON THIS I PROMISE I DO TAKE EATING DISORDERS AS SERIOUSLY AS POSSIBLE THEYRE JUST HARD FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT OTHERWISE BC. WELL I DONT NEED TO GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION LIKE THIS BUT I THINK IF YOU READ THIS BIT ITS OBVIOUS.)
THERES THE USUAL "MURDER FOR EACH OTHER, DEATH THREATS, SUICIDE THREATS, KIDNAPPING, COERCION, ETC" BETWEEN THEM BUT THOSE ARE MOSTLY BASIC STUFF AND IM RUNNING ON ZERO BRAINPOWER AND A LOTTA EXHAUSTION SO ILL SKIP ABOUT SEVEN MORE PARAGRAPHS RN AND GO TO THE FAMILY THING I PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED.
ESSENTIALLY(AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY) POOFENPLOTZS ENDED UP FINDING SOME SORT OF SOLIDARITY AND FAMILY WITHIN MILLIE AND PINKY, ALONG WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SUPPORT AND COMMUNITY W THE OTHER FIRESIDE GIRLS SO FAR. NOW, ALICE HAS A WHOLE THING OF REACHING PERFECTION THAT POOFENPLOTZ EGGED HER ON ABOUT, AND HER CURRENT STEP ON THAT ROAD REQUIRES HER TO BASICALLY KIDNAP MILLIE AND PINKY(PINKY ISNT NECESSARY SO MUCH AS SHE JUST WANTS TO EXPIRAMENT A BIT BUT THATS THE SAME AS NEEDING HIM TO HER), SO HAVING HER HALF EX HALF CURRENT GIRLFRIEND WHOS BEEN ROASTING HER ALIVE FOR ALL THE SHORTCOMINGS AND THINGS SHE CANT STAND ABOUT HERSELF, STANDING IN THE WAY OF THE TWO PEOPLE SHE NEEDS TO TAKE? POOFENPLOTZ IS GOOD AT FIGHTING BUT SHES NOT GONNA SURVIVE ALICE WITHOUT ANY WEAPONS. ALICE BASICALLY USES ALL OF POOFENPLOTZ'S INSECURITIES AND ISSUES RIGHT BACK AT HER, USING WHAT INFORMATION SHE GAINED BY NOT GIVING TWO SHITS ABOUT POOFENPLOTZS BOUNDARIES OR ANYTHING TO BASICALLY KILL HER *JAZZ HANDS*. ALSO KIDNAPPING THE TWO PEOPLE SHE ACTUALLY HAD WHILE SHE BLEEDS OUT ON THE FLOOR. IT ALL ENDS UP FINE NECROMANCY/HJ BUT LIKW. YEAH.
I PROMISE THIS IS A COHERENT NOT GRIMDARK EVERYONE ENDS UP HAPPY IN CHARACTER PHINEAS AND FERB AU. AM VERY EXHAUSTED SORRY IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. THEY'RE BASICALLY THE DEFINITION OF THIS POST
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Whenever You Want
Part Fourteen of the Rough Day Series
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 11.2K
Warnings: Listen there is some dirty smut in this one yall okay like I was blushing when I wrote it, it has a very stark beginning and theres a pagebreak afterwards if you would prefer to skip over it. Smut includes oral sex (female receiving) rough sex, sensory deprivation, butt stuff (ass to mouth, anal fingering/penetration) so PLEASE LOOK OUT FOR IT PLEASE. Also there is jealous/possessive mando in this, season 1 Karga makes another appearance, and some angst/fluff towards the end
A/N: Nothing much today yoditos just love you all
***
Din said he’d meet you here.
You’re currently sitting across from Greef Karga in a cantina on Nevarro, a closed shield next to you and a blaster tucked into the back of your waistband, hidden underneath your shirt. You’re barely even looking at him, though—your eyes are attached to the door by an invisible string, forcing your gaze back to it no matter how much it bounces around the room.
You don’t know where Din is, you haven’t seen him in hours. But you do know that when he left, he was moving slower than you’re used to. You don’t think anyone else would notice, but you sure did. Not that he was obvious about it—you only picked up on very subtle hints. Leaning up against things just a bit more than he usually does. Taking slightly longer exiting the ramp of the Crest than his normal strides would carry him.
He didn’t say what he was going to do—just that he needed to find someone before meeting with Karga, and you accepted it. But truthfully, you didn’t want to. You were worried about him—still are, actually. But for all intents and purposes, he was speaking and acting like himself, showing no real signs of exhaustion other than the smallest instances you described before, so you didn’t really have a leg to stand on. He’s been through way worse, and you know it. You just… find yourself worrying about him so much more than you used to, and you need to learn how to gain some control over that part of you.
The kid was still passed out from healing him and you remember Din carefully setting four pucks down in the sleeping baby’s sphere and giving his ears a gentle rub between leather fingers. He turned back to you and told you to meet him at the cantina in three hours, but if it ended up taking him too long for any reason, to try your best to see if Karga will let you exchange on his behalf.
Admittedly, he didn’t sound too confident about it—the instructions were delivered with a tone that implied a doubtful, just-in-case scenario he wasn’t foreseeing happening. Or maybe he just doubted the likelihood of Karga agreeing to do business with you, you’re not entirely sure. All you know is that when he left, you were almost certain he wouldn’t be late, but you also took the time to grab the smallest blaster from his armory before heading out just in case.
Yet—here you are, three and a half hours later, eyes flicking between the door and Karga as you attempt to keep up polite conversation. After turning down his offer of alcohol for the fifth time and still not seeing any glimpse of beskar coming to your rescue, you figure this may be as good a time as any to start the exchange.
During an extended break in the small talk, you slowly reach over to the corner of your booth and press a button on the face of the kid’s shield. It hisses open and you completely miss the way Karga’s hand raises while three of his guards automatically reach for their hips. The little green monster is still snoozing comfortably while you pull out the four glowing pucks Din left you and set them on the table one by one.
They scrape along the top of it as you slowly push them over to him, before sitting back in the booth and clearing your throat, flicking your eyes between Karga and his guards. To you, nobody appears to have moved, so you muster a polite smile at him.
Karga smiles back, but makes no move to gather or inspect the offerings in front of him.
“Um…” you say after a moment, suddenly feeling your heart start to beat a little faster. “Mando… Mando gave me permission to exchange on his behalf.”
“I believe you,” he drawls out in response, but the pucks still sit untouched in front of him as he leans back in the booth and studies you. “Mando has always had a… let’s say, a frustrating penchant for disregarding the pillars of our code. My apologies, young lady, but I’m afraid that I cannot accept these from you.”
Your voice comes out quieter than you’d like it to sound. “Why not?”
“It is… unlawful,” he answers after a moment. “Our organization operates under strict rules.”
Does it? You blink. No, it doesn’t. You’re nothing to the Guild and you’ve sat next to Din quite a few times while Karga talked, listening to him drunkenly boast about return rates and out members by name. You’re not sure why he’s barring you like this, but you’re also not self-assured enough to put practically any spine into it whatsoever. “I’m… afraid I don’t understand.”
“I cannot legally do guild business with individuals not recognized as members in an official capacity,” he sighs, sounding grave and almost apologetic about it, but you don’t know him well enough to know if he’s a good actor or not. “There’s nothing I can do for you besides provide you with my company, not until Mando decides to show.”
Well now that doesn’t make any sense, and you’re starting to worry that for some reason or another, he isn’t going to show. Though it was incredibly well concealed, you’re well aware that Din was still lingering in the final recovery stages when he left the Crest earlier and all you have to go on is his word that he’d be here. Something could’ve happened. Something could be happening right now, you need to push.
“People pick up bounties for extra credits all the time,” you mumble, still way too fucking quiet about it. Maker, you’re not even sure if he could hear that over the sound of the cantina. Speak up, speak up.
“Yes, but those quarry are listed on the New Republic’s most wanted database,” Karga acknowledges diplomatically, educating more than he is arguing, before uncorking the bottle of glowing blue alcohol in front of him and beginning to pour himself another shot. “They’re fodder. Up for grabs—names, last known locations, and biometrics published for the entire galaxy to read.” He tilts his head down at the four metal pucks on the table without removing his gaze from the gradually filling glass. “Those pucks are different, they’re commissions. Tied specifically to Guild contracts.” Karga clunks the bottle back down again and corks it, pinning you with a stare. “For all I know, you could’ve murdered a member of our ranks and come to collect payment for his bounties. Can’t have that.”
Your blood suddenly turns to ice at the implication, eyes wide and your heartbeat rocketing as you look from Karga to the three guards casually stationed behind him. “You—You think I murdered Mando?”
“No,” he says, easily and in the very same breath, before throwing the shot back and wiping his mouth with a grimace. “Not sure I’d care too much if you did. It’s not my rule, but I am required to follow it or risk losing my position in the Guild.”
Shit. Shit. What do you do?
You’re blank, left quiet and feeling increasingly unsure of how to proceed. Karga, however, seems completely unbothered and even appears to be enjoying himself and your company. He gives you another smile, this one a lot friendlier and more genuine than the one earlier, before setting his elbows on the table and leaning forward.
“Look, I want to help you,” he admits, keeping his tone light, “but my hands are tied. Just relax and share a drink with me until he gets here, it’s not a problem.”
Fuck, you don’t like this, and a quick look around brings another reminder of Din’s continued absence. Your chest feels tight, the anxiety starting to compound and make you jumpy. It’s been too long—it’s been at least forty minutes or so of waiting by now and something just feels wrong about this. Not having him next to you feels wrong enough on its own, but when he specifically told you he’d be here?
You clench your jaw and try to work up your nerve. Karga is a nice guy, right? He knows you by name, he knows who you are to Mando. And while you never really thought about the bounty hunter’s omnipresent protection as being anything other than metaphorical, you suddenly realize that… it might be literal, too. How much sway do you actually have here, you wonder? You’re not stupid, you’re not going to try anything stupid, but maybe just another question won’t hurt?
“Well, um… how do you become a member, then?” You ask him, and you watch as he leans back in the booth, raising both eyebrows at you.
“Excuse me?” He asks, though there’s a genuine amusement in his voice. Stunned that you’d even say the words aloud.
“I have four bodies,” you tell him shortly. You’re still quiet about it, but his thoroughly entertained astonishment is beginning to rub you the wrong way. You don’t want to be part of the Guild, you don’t want to be here, you’re doing this out of growing necessity. “One of which I dragged through a blizzard on Hoth by its ankles and put into carbonite myself, so please just tell me what I have to do to get you to take them.”
“I can’t,” he repeats, shaking his head like you’re just not getting it. “New members are only accepted if they bring in an S-level criminal from the database or if they complete a commission that was granted to them by someone of my station—neither of which apply to you. If you cannot present me with any sort of reasonable argument for which they could, then I’m afraid this is not a favor I can swing.”
“I was sitting right here,” you return, suddenly finding your voice. If Karga wants an argument from you to get this to happen, then you’ll do it. You just need to finish this exchange, go back to the Crest, and scan around for Din’s signal. “When you first gave the pucks to Mando, I sat right here and you pushed them over to this side of the table—I was present for the commission and now I’m here to complete it.”
He shakes his head. “But I didn’t give them to you, I gave them to Mando—”
“Yes, but you only wanted to give him three,” you immediately point out. “The last one, the one I told you I put into carbonite—you said you threw it in because you liked me, it could’ve been for me.”
Karga suddenly stops and blinks at you for a few seconds, and you bite your lip, wondering if the logic will hold. It’s flimsy as fuck and you know he could very easily rip it apart if he wanted to. It could’ve been for you but it wasn’t, he gave it to Mando. You also purposefully leave out the fact that you’re also the reason Mando only gave him three bodies in the first place; your only goal here is to complete this transaction as quickly as possible and leave. You don’t like the fact that it’s taking Din so long, and you also don’t like the fact that Karga seems so keen on keeping you here with him, no matter how many reassurances he provides. He said he wants to help you? This can be his chance to prove it.
After a few extended moments of consideration, Karga finally shrugs like he really couldn’t care less before reaching across the table for the pucks and beginning to stack them in his palm.
“What is your last name?” He asks, turning behind him to gesture for one of his men with a jerk of his head. The bodyguard exits the cantina without another word and your eyes flick back to Karga’s.
“Why does it matter?” You ask uncertainly, watching another guard approach with a holopad as he shrugs once more.
“It doesn’t, but we need something for our records,” Karga explains, grabbing the device as it’s tapped against his shoulder without removing his gaze from yours. “I can just use Doe if you don’t feel like sharing—most of our members tend to prefer anonymity, including your companion.”
Your eyebrows furrow even as your heart continues to pound, wondering how they can afford to be so lax about some things but take others so seriously. “You have him down as John Doe?”
“First name Man,” Karga grunts in response, finally breaking eye contact to begin navigating through pages on the holopad.
“Ah,” you say shortly, knowing you’d probably find the joke funny in other circumstances. You’re not out of the trenches yet, you still feel the worry tugging hard at your chest.
“Very well,” Karga announces with a sigh, pocketing the pucks in his leather overcoat and then handing the holopad back to one of the men flanking him after a moment. “Someone is collecting the carbonite plaques from your vessel as we speak.”
You give him a nod, taking a deep breath that you hope is slow and subtle enough to not give your anxiety away. He helped you out, you’re halfway through this. Now comes the exchange. Now it’s his turn to give you the credits and four more pucks, that’s how this should go.
Only, Karga leans back in his seat and cocks his head at you. “Unfortunately, I believe we have found ourselves in the midst of yet another predicament.”
Your heart continues to slam, praying you haven’t somehow majorly fucked things up by getting this far. Din still isn’t here, why is he so fucking late? He nearly froze to death and you handled a dead body just to make this meeting on time, where the fuck is he?
You raise an eyebrow at him, willing the building panic not to show on your face. “Have we?”
“You’re lucky credits are attached to commissions instead of rank within the Guild,” he prefaces, pulling out a large handful of them to begin counting, and your eyes flick around the cantina while you know he isn’t looking, “or else you’d be getting about half of what I’d normally give him.”
Heart galloping when you still don’t see any sign of him, you just decide to keep extra quiet as you watch Karga divvy out a sizable stack of credits, hoping your prolonged silence will protect you somehow.
“The question now becomes…” he lifts an eyebrow at you while sliding them across the table to you, “how many pucks do I give you in return, hm?”
Fuck, you don’t like this, you’re trying to make it crystal fucking clear that your intentions do not extend beyond the perimeter of this table. There’s no you to be found in this deal, you’re just an emergency proxy in Din’s absence and you only inserted yourself in the situation to accomplish that task. “I told you I’m only here to exchange on Mando’s behalf, that’s it.”
“Be that as it may…” Karga glances around the cantina like he’s thinking extra hard about it. This is a made-up problem, you both know there’s no predicament here. He knows you didn’t kill Mando, he knows there’s no real reason to be giving you such a hard time about this, and you clench your jaw as he still seems to take his time considering it. “Tell you what, young lady,” he finally turns back to you. “Do me the honor of sharing one sip of this fine spotchka with me and I’ll give you four pucks to pass along to Mando.”
Okay. Okay, you can do that, if he really cares that much. Karga gestures for the closest droid to come by with a glass for you, but you just grab the bottle in front of him and uncork it without thinking too much, balancing the glowing blue liquid with two hands and diligently taking a small sip of it before setting it down again. Appearing satisfied with your demonstration of upholding your end of the bargain, Karga grins and reaches into another pocket.
“Four for Mando,” he pushes four pucks across the table, “same rate and return as last time, as promised.” You nearly deflate in relief as you quickly gather them up and begin dropping them into the snoozing baby’s shield along with the credits, but then Karga reaches back and pulls out another puck, pushing it over to you. “And one for you.”
You blink at him, frozen in place.
“Lowest level, lowest pay. Not even a criminal by New Republic standards, just a missing person,” he goes on to say, but then quite suddenly…
Quite suddenly you’re absolutely fucking horrified.
You don’t want it. Everything inside you surges up to scream that you do not want that puck. It’s a waste of time, even if it’s an extra job—it’s too much trouble, too much fuel for such a small reward. You already know good and well that Din won’t want to bother, getting this extra puck would be considered a detriment to him.
“What if I don’t want it?” You ask, sounding nervous and vaguely out of breath as you look down at it.
Karga scoffs. “Of course you don’t. Nobody wants these, why do you think I’m trying so hard to pawn one off on you?”
Shit. This is not at all how you expected any of this would go. You know he’s not really asking, even if his tone and continued courtesy implies it’s only a request. There’s an expectation attached to this, and it appears you take too long pondering an offer that isn’t actually voluntary. Karga stares at you and your clear apprehension for just a few seconds more, before finally giving you an ultimatum. “You said you’re here on his behalf. You either take all five pucks now or Mando only gets three next time, your choice.”
Oh. Oh, no. This is a lose-lose; three pucks means more fuel and less credits, five pucks means more fuel and less credits. It’s not like you have any real bargaining power here—almost everything he’s done for you today has been a favor of some sort and you’re well aware that things can always get worse.
Still, you take a deep breath and try your best to throw around whatever weight you have left in one final agreement.
“Give me your word you’ll go back to giving him four from now on, no more hassling or hard time constraints and we’ll take it just this once,” you tell him, trying to conjure and put power behind your words even though you’re unsure if they’ll stick.
“Deal,” Karga readily agrees with a smile, reaching his hand across the table. You have no choice but to meet him in the middle and clasp it, unable to feel anywhere close to good about your performance here. It was clunky and insecure and even though you just barely succeeded in making the exchange overall, you’re massively disappointed in the specifics.
But then Karga’s eyes quickly flick over your shoulder.
“Ah, Mando!” He suddenly calls out, and your hand nearly snatches away from his while your body goes rigid.
Oh, this isn’t good, this is not good. Well, it’s good that he’s here but it also really fucking isn’t. You don’t even turn your head; you sit completely straight and still while the cantina falls to a hush and heavy footsteps begin to approach behind you. You fucked up—you fucked up, you didn’t wait long enough and you feel the sharp regret instantly twist in your stomach. He said he’d be here, why didn’t you trust him? Your anxiety and stress compounded and spurned you to act too quickly, you made the deal a few fucking seconds before he showed up.
And, as Din eventually comes into your peripheral, taking his time leaning his rifle up against the table, you immediately realize that you should not have worried. Recovery isn’t even a word in his vocabulary right now—he’s more intimidating than he’s ever been, more powerful and certain and dangerous while he lowers himself into the seat next to you than he’s ever felt to you before. Everything is so quiet now that he’s here; you feel like even just swallowing against the sudden dryness in your throat turns into an audible gulp. The man sitting across from you may own this cantina and every material good under its roof, but the one sitting by your side feels like he steals the literal air from the room just by walking inside it.
Yet, in spite of the daunting presence of the Mandalorian, Karga beams and tips his glass at him. “I believe you’ve arrived just in time for your favorite part of the conversation, friend. The farewells.”
You stare wide-eyed down at the table as Din leans back into the booth and very slowly extends his arm behind your shoulders, saying nothing at all to him.
The testosterone is radiating from him to the point of near suffocation, you can taste the alpha in the air. Your heart slams in your chest at the unspoken claim he just made with a subtle movement, and though you’ve never been one for masculine displays, this one weirdly feels… good right now. You know it’s primitive and crude and you’re not a piece of meat to be fought over, but it doesn’t feel like that at all. It’s the immediate feeling of security that serves to heat your cheeks, the fact that you’ve been a nervous mess trying to be extra brave this whole interaction and then suddenly you have the backup of an entire army contained within one single suit of armor next to you.
If you weren’t internally panicking at how badly you screwed this shit up, you’d probably be going fucking feral for him right now.
Karga says your name and your gaze snaps to his, feeling like you can’t breathe. “My associate has collected the plaques, nothing keeps you here any longer. It was a pleasure doing business with you.”
Still, nobody at the table moves.
After a moment, you carefully glance up and to the side at the sharp, metallic profile of his helmet. Maker, you can’t explain it—it’s like you feel terrified but not really for yourself, if that makes sense. You’re upset with yourself for not having enough trust in his word, absolutely, but something in Din’s demeanor tells you that he’s going to be considerably less understanding of how Karga handled this situation than the way you did.
The helmet slowly turns down to look at you, and you bite your lip while carefully placing your hand on his thigh brace under the table, letting him feel your fingers brush against the bend of his knee.
He turns back to Karga after a few seconds, still not saying a single word, until eventually Din’s arm is lifted from behind your shoulders and you feel his leather fingers gently clasp your hand, before he starts to rise from the booth and pull you along next to him. You both stand, and he silently presses a button on his vambrace without dropping your grip, urging the kid’s shield to follow along behind him.
“Um, goodbye,” you just barely remember to tell Karga as Din begins leading you away, apparently not waiting for the polite farewells he arrived in time for.
“Wait!” A voice calls out just before you can make your exit, and Din pauses just in time for Karga to extend that damned fifth puck out for you to grab. Right in fucking front of him. “Can’t forget this!”
Fuck. Great. Thanks.
Blood rushes to your face while you go to reach for it, taking the puck and then placing it in the open shield along with four others in a way that you hope is casual but you know isn’t. You close the lid on it and then squeeze Din’s hand slightly, but he stays rooted to the spot for a few more seconds, having watched the entire exchange play out. Though you obviously wouldn’t be able to read his facial expressions even if you could lift your head to look up at him, you can’t will yourself to do so right now. You’re too disappointed in yourself and nervous—you just stand there silently as he looks back at Karga, staring at your feet and praying he doesn’t do anything brash.
After too many moments of uncertainty, you squeeze his hand again and slowly begin to pull on it. Without needing much pressure at all, he goes where you go, and you end up being the one to lead Din out of the cantina by the hand still tangled with yours.
***
The walk back to the Crest lasts an eternity.
Neither one of you say anything at all to each other the entire way there, and you know he’s not mad at you yet, but you’re worried. You feel incredibly self-critical right now and it’s really not helping that he seems even quieter and more wound up than usual. You don’t know if it’s because he already figured out that you just handed him extra work or if it’s because whatever made him late to the cantina also altered his mood, hit a reset button and reminded him of the way he used to be, the armor he’s wearing. Was there a confrontation, you wonder? Is he okay? He seems like he’s… extra Mandalorian right now, there’s not really a better way to describe it.
He doesn’t drop your hand, though. As you pass through the markets and shanty huts lining the streets, Din holds onto you. Shoulders tense and strides heavy, but his fingers stay tangled in yours.
Regardless, you keep your mouth shut and eventually the Crest comes into view. The ramp drops to the ground and the three of you make your way up, and you have enough foresight to carefully drop Din’s hand and lead the baby’s shield over to the unused cot built into the hull walls, closing him in a safe quiet place to sleep and continue building up his strength again.
You turn around to see Din press another button on his vambrace. He stays with his back to you as the ramp slowly closes, but as soon as it latches up against the hull and locks into place, he nearly whips around and suddenly he’s right in front of you, gloves cupping your face.
“What happened?” He asks sharply, the helmet looking you up and down. “Are you alright? Why did you look so scared?”
You reach up to rest your hands on his, blinking up at him and not knowing what to say. How are you going to tell him? He’s gotta waste extra fuel and time on a bullshit quarry because of you, what are you going to say? You don’t even know if it’s last known location is nearby; he might have to fly to some remote, desolate corner of the galaxy just for a handful of credits because you couldn’t wait a fucking hour for him.
“I, uh… I-I’m sorry, I just…” But it’s nearly impossible to form a coherent thought when he’s this close to you and sounding fucking sincere, genuinely concerned about you while you’re stuck worrying about how to break the bad news to him. “Oh, stars, um…”
“Did Karga fuck with you?” He asks in that same sharp tone when you don’t finish your thought, but you’re so absorbed in your own conflict that you barely even hear him. “Because I can go back right now, the cantina is just—”
“Okay wait, please—” You suddenly speak up, “before I tell you, just… please keep in mind that I did save your life two days ago, so…”
“Sweet girl,” Din rumbles slowly, a subtle warning for you to hurry up and spit it out. His fingers tighten just slightly on your cheeks, still so gentle but needing you to communicate with him right now.
Tell him, you just need to tell him. If he gets mad, then he gets mad, but at least he’ll know at that point and you won’t just be springing it on him out of nowhere.
“I fucked up,” you breathe out, eyebrows pulling up in the middle as you tighten your own grip on his hands. “I’m so sorry, I fucked up and you were late and I got nervous and I didn’t wait long enough and I tried to make the exchange like you asked me to but then I had to take a fifth puck and I didn’t want to but Karga threatened to short change you next time around unless I agreed to take an extra one for the lowest pay just this once and I didn’t have any bargaining power and you showed up right after I agreed to the deal and I’m so so sorry—”
You cut yourself off with your own ragged gasp, not having paused once to breathe throughout the entire thing while your expression twisted up with regret more and more the longer he allowed you to speak.
Din stands there in front of you and doesn’t move, hands still attached to your face.
“Okay,” he eventually tells you. Stunted words, like he’s trying extra hard to find them when yours just fell out of your mouth in a complete mess. “It’s okay. You did… good.”
The silence is tense and you’re becoming more and more anxious the longer he takes to speak. He’s lying for your benefit, he must be. When he drops his hands from your face and takes a full step back, you take the gesture as symbolic and nearly launch into panic.
“Maker, I’m so sorry I didn’t wait for—” You start to say, but Din cuts you off.
“Did he make you…” His back suddenly goes a little straighter, voice finding a quiet edge through the modulator as his fingers subtly twitch at his sides, “…Uncomfortable?”
You pull back at the sudden change in subject and furrow your eyebrows.
“Who, Karga?” You have to think about it. Did he make you uncomfortable, or were you just uncomfortable already? You might’ve just been scared because you were making it scarier than it really was, you can admit that’s a valid possibility. “Um… no? I don’t know, not… not really, I don’t think.”
“No?” He asks, taking a small step forward. “You don’t know? Or not really… you don’t think?”
You know you can only see the blade of his visor, but something makes you feel like you’re looking right in his eyes. You even go back and forth between where you’re pretty confident each one is, trying to read his intentions right now. It’s like he’s purposefully trying to keep space between you even though he looks like he wants to move closer, fisting his hands at his sides when he looks like he wants to touch you.
“No, he just… lowballed me towards the end of it and I got intimidated, but I’m also not…” Your expression narrows in concentration while you try to find the words to explain yourself, wanting to be as honest as possible with him. “I don’t know, I’m not like you. I’m not that strong, but I’m trying to get better. I think he was probably just being normal. He did offer me alcohol a bunch, but I’m pretty sure he also did that last time, so—”
“And I didn’t like it the last time he did it,” Din says quietly, taking another small step forward.
You blink up at him, completely dumb. This is what’s bothering him? Is he really not upset with you at all for giving him more work? It’s like the major fuckup on your behalf just went in one side of the helmet and out the other, he barely even acknowledged it other than the role Karga played. He said it’s okay and you did good, which are like… five of the most common words in Galactic Basic, a Wookiee could probably find a way to say them. How are you supposed to take that? Were you just overthinking this whole thing from the very beginning? You know anxiety tends to be irrational by definition, but has none of your panic from the past hour been justified whatsoever?
“Why were you so late?” You ask him, but it’s not accusatory in the slightest. It’s… concerned, worried about his well-being without having a real reason. He’s clearly more than fine right now, he’s like a hurricane enclosed in metal and holding still in front of you. Too much potential energy just waiting for a reason to be released, too much tension held tight and ready to snap.
“I’m sorry.” He quickly reaches out to grab your hand and squeeze it, before dropping it just as quickly. Fucking lightning quick, you’ll never understand how he can be so damn quick with all that extra weight strapped to him. “It took longer than I thought it would and she’s not really someone you can rush.” His response, ironically, feels very rushed, like he’s trying to address the tangent but also keep things on track, but something in the answer he gives catches your direct attention. “Did he flirt with you?”
“Who is she and what can’t be rushed?” You blurt at the same time, not even taking a split second to think about it.
Din stops short at the blunt question, staring at you in a silence that feels like it’s vaguely taken aback.
After a few moments of that… strangeness, of the two of you realizing that you’re both feeling slightly possessive over each other for absolutely no reason whatsoever, you start to feel… warm. In another weirdly stupid, primitive way. You know that letting those kinds of thoughts have their day in a relationship isn’t a good thing, but you can’t explain it. Some deep-seated, prehistoric instinct inside you just goes fucking nuts whenever he gets in either provider or protector mode. Now you understand exactly why he wanted to get you alone after you admitted to being jealous once before. You totally fucking get it, you’re right there with him right now. He hasn’t said anything, but you think he feels it, too.
“She makes things,” Din finally answers you, careful with his words and somehow managing to address your question while also sidestepping it, leaving you with only the smallest bit of information to go off of. “Did he flirt with you?”
“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly. “Maybe. He could’ve just been trying to be friendly. What did she make for you?”
“She made it for you,” he responds, again not really answering the question but continuing to juggle two separate conversations for your benefit. “Did he scare you?”
“For me?” You ask, eyebrows shooting upwards. Provider, that stupid cavewoman DNA whispers to your lower body, making your voice go a little breathless. “You asked her to make something for me?”
“Did he scare you?” Din repeats sternly, grabbing your hand and giving it a firm squeeze. “Because I can go back, I swear—”
Protector, it whispers this time, and your knees nearly buckle.
“Everything is scary when I don’t know where you are,” you admit to him, knowing it’s the truth regardless of how self-deprecating it sounds. The only times you’ve ever truly been brave was because of him or the kid. Stabbing a Corellian and then immediately flying the Crest out to him afterwards, walking through a pitch black forest believing a dangerous criminal was hiding in it, dragging a dead body through snow and shoving it into carbonite, standing up for yourself and pushing a deal through when odds were stacked against you. Though it’s nothing to him, it’s nothing, it’s leaps for you. You’re slowly learning to find a backbone, and he’s the one inspiring it.
Din holds there for a moment, unmoving with his hand still clutching yours. You can’t get a read on him but you know how you feel right now. Achy. Hot. Needy. Wanting him to come closer.
“Will you do something for me?” He asks you after a prolonged silence. His voice is quiet, but… incredibly restrained. Controlled chaos—his body is rigid and he’s flexing muscles that aren’t necessary for just standing, feeling like a sprinter holding still on the starting blocks.
“Of course,” you breathe out.
Din lets go of your hand and tilts his helmet over at the corner of the hull behind you. “Go turn around and face that wall.”
You freeze, immediately recognizing the undertone in his voice. Heat ladles deep into the pit of your tummy, sends warmth pooling downwards. He wants to do this here? Right now?
“We’re—” you look around the enclosed hull, “Mando, we’re not in hyperspace, we haven’t even left the surface yet…”
He looks around too, taking a second to blankly take in his stagnant surroundings like he had absolutely fucking no idea, before turning back to you and not saying a word. Maker, everything below your waist is already stirring, twisting hot and deep inside, but you’re trying to be the voice of reason for a second.
“What if somebody hears us?” You whisper, and Din cocks his head to the other side.
“I can help you stay quiet,” he murmurs, and… fuck. You don’t know what it means, but you immediately imagine his hand held tight over your mouth while he takes some of this stress out on you and you already feel yourself wilting at the thought. Okay.
“Okay,” you breathe without needing anything else at all, before spinning around and standing exactly where he told you to. It’s just a corner near the back of the hull, nothing else here to look at besides two metal panels meeting at a right angle, but that’s admittedly what makes your heart start beating quicker. You can’t see him come up behind you but you can feel it. Slow, measured, but so restrained.
But then he stops almost immediately, before the back of your shirt is suddenly being yanked upwards and you remember at the very last second.
Din carefully grips his blaster and then eases it out of your waistband, the metal sliding warm along your skin from pressing against it for so long. You never told him you took it with you, and he’s so fucking quiet behind you. You have no idea how he’s reacting to that piece of information you originally didn’t think twice about.
“Do you like carrying my gun around?” Din’s voice murmurs soft through the modulator to you, but then the blaster is tossed uselessly to the side, skittering loudly across the floor of the hull.
“Yes,” you reply, beginning to shyly turn your head back to look at him, hoping to gauge his response.
“Don’t turn around,” he quickly interrupts you, pushing your shoulder back into position and keeping you facing the corner. You blink at the metal walls in a bit of a daze but follow instructions regardless, feeling your heart pound at the sudden display of dominance from him. He has a very valid reason for it and you don’t realize what it is until a few seconds later, but even if he didn’t and he was just telling you what to do for the fun of it… you’d still like it.
But then his helmet is carefully being lowered over your head and you shudder as your vision is replaced with a familiar black abyss. Fuck, his helmet, why does he like it so much when you wear this? Admittedly, you don’t have much time to contemplate—as soon as it’s fitted and secure, he spins you around and you have to just do your best to maintain your balance, not having any visual to help.
“Can you hear me?” Din asks, and your clothes start to be ripped off of you. Your shoulders tip sideways with how quick he is about it, feeling him pull the fabric off and hearing the soft sound it makes landing on the floor.
“Yes,” you tell him, but he doesn’t respond, continuing to strip you completely naked in the hull. Once your upper body is bare and he’s yanking your pants and underwear down your legs, you try saying it again as you step out of them, louder for him this time.
“I can’t hear you,” his voice grunts after a moment. You know he’s in front of you but you can’t really tell where, now that he’s not touching you. “Scream.”
You take a second, not having hard evidence anymore but still very well aware that you’re parked close to a marketplace on Nevarro and multiple people are nearby while you’re wearing his helmet. This is dangerous for him, and not sure if you should, but then an arm is wrapping around your back and a large leather palm rests directly over your chest. Din repeats his last word very slowly and clearly for you, waiting to feel it under his hands.
Your sternum lifts while it rises with your deep breath and then collapses as you diligently yell as loud as you can into the helmet, feeling like you might deafen yourself with the trapped sound.
“Good,” he growls, suddenly spinning you around and pushing you back into the metal paneling. “I can’t hear you, be as loud as you need. Hit me or something, put up a fight if you want me to stop, alright?”
Arousal rockets through you and you let out a moan already, taking advantage of the noise suppression and beyond turned on at this point. You feel like you’re buzzing with it, lit up with excitement and wondering with bated breath what he’s planning to do to you.
“Alright?” Comes his voice from behind you once more, and you quickly jerk the heavy helmet in a nod for him. You can put up a fight and you know he’ll stop, you don’t have any problem with that and the fact that he specifically made sure to wait until he knew you understood him makes you start to pant inside the hollow beskar.
But then you feel him flick a small switch at the base of the helmet and then everything abruptly cuts out and goes dead silent.
Nothing. Nothing. You’re standing in a pitch black room where no other sound exists besides your own labored breathing. Just like the waterfall on Naboo, but you can’t speak this time. Temporarily making you blind, deaf, and putting a proverbial gag over your mouth all with one powerful piece of armor.
You shudder and he kicks your legs apart before you can do much else, yanking your hips back while you just try your best to cling to the wall for stability. You don’t know what he’s going to do, you’re completely isolated in here and the only way you can even tell he dropped to his knees is the hot glide of his tongue through your pussy from behind.
Oh fuck—you arch into position as best you can while hands wrap around your ankles to pull them apart, trying to make the angle better. His tongue licks softly over your clit and each time is like an electric shock jolting through your body, making you twitch back and up for him, stretching and begging him to do it again. You can’t see anything right now so your mind readily imagines the visuals instead, providing you with a third party view. Din, fully clothed and face shielded by your thighs, eating you out from behind while you brace yourself against the wall, completely naked and at his mercy, head tilted down from the weight of his helmet and living for the moments he decides to drag his tongue across your clit.
Without warning, a sudden burst of sensation ripples along your backside and causes you to lift the beskar in surprise, but without being able to hear anything, it takes you a second to figure out that he just smacked your ass. The realization comes more or less at the exact time he decides to flatten his tongue and follow the curve of you back and up.
You gasp into the pitch black and there’s a moment where you just hold utterly still for him, experiencing and processing the sensation for the very first time. His mouth is soft and warm as he tastes you here, his fingers digging into the swell of your cheeks to spread you open. You’re glad your face is hidden so he can’t see the shock in your expression, the way your mouth drops and your eyes close as you let him explore you this way.
His gloved hands leave you for just a moment while he continues gliding his tongue against you, along every single bit of skin he can reach, and then you feel a bare hand reach up between your legs and begin to rub slow circles around your clit. His other arm pushes against your lower back and you’re forced into the corner even more, your naked breasts pressing hard against cool metal and feeling his hot mouth and strong fingers work you closer to the edge from behind.
You’re panting into the helmet, your hips arching back to feel that stimulation on your clit better, and as his fingers move over it slow and strong, you feel a soft vibration against your skin and you realize he’s moaning into you. The knowledge sparks a different kind of heat through you and makes you suddenly go still and tense right here. If he stays just like this for even just a few more seconds, you’re going to cum.
“Din, I’m gonna cum,” your voice warbles inside the enclosed steel—just as his touch decides to abandon your body. You groan loudly in distress, completely alone without his hands or mouth on you anymore, but all he likely hears is the silence of the hull and the way your palm smacks against the wall with it. You were so close, everything feels like it’s pulled up so tight and painful and it hurts—
A hand clutches your hip and then a thick cock is suddenly pushing up against your soaking wet entrance, going to alleviate that twisting discomfort. Your eyes roll back and your whole body goes limp as he slowly eases forward and breaks you open, fitting himself deep inside where you love to feel him most. Your hands claw down the walls with a swell of bliss as he pulls out and then starts thrusting—and fuck, you love this. You love the way he’s trapping you up against the corner and making you see stars at the same time, the way he’s supporting your weight but crushing down into you, too. It makes you go boneless and want to riot simultaneously, groaning loud into the quiet abyss as he gives you what you both desperately needed.
One of his hands sinks down between your legs to play with your clit again, while a slick finger presses up against your ass and you gasp as he slowly penetrates you there, too. Din’s hips work steady and powerful behind you, pushing you into the wall with every desperate thrust, using the arm shoved between your legs to support you as well as stimulate, and you just feel yourself move into a different place. You don’t have a name for it but it feels like hyperspace. Silence so loud it feels suppressing, faster than anything light can touch, nowhere and everywhere, hurtling towards something you can’t see but know lies in the distance. You can tell he’s still fucking the tension out of his body, you can feel him working another wet finger inside you and stretching the virgin muscles back there, but every sensation begins to slowly blur together in a wicked uprising of ecstasy.
You don’t know where you are anymore, just that his fingers keep rubbing your clit and you think he's trying to ease a third into you when your destination abruptly arrives.
You nearly collapse when you cum, contracting so hard around his cock and fingers that you cry out unexpectedly—and because of the helmet, you think it’s just as unexpected for him. He stops moving—everything stops moving besides you. Your hips stutter backwards into his stationary body, dragging your clit back and forth against the tips of his unmoving fingers and fucking him as best you can. It shatters white hot and goes straight through to your soul, wringing pleasure and wetness between your legs in waves.
Your knees are knocking against each other when Din pulls out, his cock still deliciously hard and now soaking wet with your cum, and then they just suddenly decide to give up without warning. You don’t fall necessarily, but you do slowly slide down the wall like a slug and Din follows you to the floor instead of holding you up any longer. His sternum moves quick and heavy against your back as he breathes and then suddenly the same switch at the base of his helmet is flicked, and sound bursts into existence all at once.
He’s panting. Harsh breaths behind you that match the rapid pace of his chest, and the ambient noise of the rest of the hull.
“Can you hear me?” He gasps, sounding fucking wrecked, and you nod the helmet against the wall while gravity and exhaustion and his beskar chestplate squishes you into it. “P-Put up a fight if you want me t-to stop, p-please—” he rasps out, almost the entire thing air and so close to cumming, and then his knees lift just slightly and the blunt head of his cock presses against your other entrance.
And, if you wanted, you absolutely could. He’s got you boxed into the corner but he’s not constricting your movements, he’s given you every ability to struggle. You could easily throw an elbow back against his side, push against the wall to shove him away, smack at his arms or even just flail against his body in panic—you could do one or all of those things to signal him to stop and you know he’d do it immediately, he’s asking you to. You could struggle. If you wanted.
Instead, you just grab hold of the beskar strapped to his thigh and drop the helmet to your chest, nearly vibrating with the thrill and preparing yourself for it. You know he’s gotta be inches away from orgasm, you know from the tone of his voice that he’s right there on the edge and it’s not like it’s going to last a long time. Thanks to him, you also feel like you’re just as slick and wet back there as you are between your legs, stretched open by his fingers while you came all over him. You want nothing more than to give this to him, to let him be the only person in the universe that knows how you feel this way.
When you pointedly do not put up a fight and even go so far as to arch your lower back for him in presentation, Din curses and his fingers begin jerking back and forth over your sensitive clit once more. It might normally be too much for you, but your body is sparking with lust and quickly acclimates to the stimulation, learning to burn and ache for it, too. Fuck, it feels so good, you tense and melt into it at the same time, letting him ease you back up to that peak once more.
He pushes up against the tight ring of skin and you can’t fucking explain it—his fingers keep rubbing your clit and he’s slowly pushing into your ass and—
“I—I think I’m—” you suddenly lift the helmet to gasp out in surprise, forgetting he can’t hear you, “ngh—D-Din, I think I’m gonna c—”
He’s just barely able to breach the tight entrance and fit the head inside before he freezes—and even though everything happens consecutively, it’s all so rapid that it feels simultaneous.
Your hips could go forward, but they don’t. Your body decides to send you backwards into him, pushing him inside nearly halfway all at once as your muscles lock down and just fucking strangle his cock. Your piercing scream gets trapped in the silence of his helmet as you cum once more—painfully, madly and with every fucking part of you for him. There’s maybe one or two mind shattering pulses of ecstasy before the rest of your body catches up and starts convulsing, and by then Din is already gasping and fumbling behind you, suddenly realizing what’s happening without hearing the sound of your ragged warnings and then ripping himself away just in time.
He punches out your name when he cums like you just fucking snapped him in half—his body hunches and the beskar digs hard into your back as warmth starts splattering along your skin. You crumple while he shoves his hips up against your spine, riding and working the orgasm out of himself while yours just fucking obliterates you. You think you whine his name—or a curse word or something, but it gets strained and your lungs lose air every time his powerful armored body humps you into the wall of his ship.
Finally he eases up and you just lay there and listen to the ringing in your ears. Blissfully empty, still pulsing from cumming so hard and feeling like your bones just decided to stop existing and the rest of you was okay with it since you were already on the floor anyways. You feel him shudder and twitch behind you, letting go of that last bit of tension until he too allows gravity to slouch his heavy torso over onto you.
You both stay like that for a while, until your eyes close and your everything below your waist goes numb. Eventually you feel him shift and your head bobbles as the helmet is slowly removed, but a large palm cradles your chin to stop your face from slamming into the wall in exhaustion once it’s off. You just continue to melt into the paneling like you’re nothing more than goo of a human being while he trades it back to its rightful place on his shoulders and tucks his cock back into his pants, before wrapping his arms around you and lifting you both up. The floor and metal walls, once feeling like you and them were one, suddenly decide to disappear entirely as you’re hauled up into Din’s powerful arms.
He slowly carries your naked, fucked senseless body over to the fresher, and you squint your eyes open over his shoulder to see… he’s still got his rifle slung around his back while his cum is dripping down yours. Not a single thing on him is out of place and you’re, well… a mess is a word that works. Limp and doll-like, carried like your weight is practically nothing to him after years of having the densest armor known to the galaxy strapped to his body.
Setting you down is a mess, too. At some point you think he just gives up and decides to return you to your humble floor abode with a patience and care unexpected from someone who just defiled you so thoroughly. You hear the fresher door open and the faucet squeak, before he turns back around and crouches to your level.
“Stay here,” Din tells you lowly, his modulated voice coming gentle and warm through the sounds of water raining down against metal. You don’t feel his touch directly, but your hair moves away from your face. “I’ll be right back, okay—just stay here.”
Can do. Easy. He waits until you murmur a soft mhm to him before he leaves the tiny compartment, and then you soon hear his heavy footsteps ascending the ladder to the cockpit.
***
You don’t think you fall asleep, but the powering up of the Crest’s thrusters make you realize your eyes were closed. Opening them barely qualifies as a squint though; you look around to see steam slowly filling the fresher, the water already running hot and welcoming in the small room.
You know you need to shower but you’re so fucking exhausted, you feel like you can’t even move your body. You also know you can just do the same exact thing in there as you’re doing in here, you just need to muster up the energy necessary to get inside it and then fall back asleep. He set you down in the small little space outside the shower door and then got everything set up for you, you can at least stand up and take a few steps.
Unfortunately, you might pick just about the worst time possible to plant your hands on the ground and work to struggle upright on all fours like a newborn animal. The steady rise through Nevarro’s atmosphere pushes gravity down harder than you’re expecting—is he trying to fly quickly or are you just that dead-limbed?—and then of course, by the time you do manage to fight it and successfully get on two wobbly legs to hold yourself up, the subtle shift of the hyperdrive kicking in nearly knocks you back down again. You stumble and grab the walls, bracing yourself against them and looking down at your knees in exasperation. Come on, work. Move forward. Come on.
You’re glad he’s not here to witness this monstrosity, honestly. Just opening the door and taking a few steps into the fresher is a feat—while you’re not in any pain and he didn’t leave any marks on you, you just feel… steamrolled. Ran over by a truck. Only having the strength to keep your feet beneath you as you finally move under the water and close the door behind you.
Oh, but this is wonderful. This was such a good idea, he’s so fucking smart. The shower falls warm and lovely against your body, wetting your hair and immediately heating you down to your bones. You don’t move really at all—you kinda just stand there and slouch, closing your eyes against the spray and slowly breathing the mist into your lungs. It feels so nice—not really restorative even though you like that word, it would imply the water provides you with any energy whatsoever. It just feels like a comfort, a relief and sedative for your already wildly fatigued body.
You haven’t been in here for more than a minute or two when knuckles tap gently against the metal walls of the fresher, before the natural bass of Din’s unmodulated voice murmurs from somewhere beyond it. “Hey. Keep your eyes closed.”
How did he know? You figured you’d be way ahead of him. You’re standing but slumped over, wanting nothing more than to just say fuck gravity and pass out right here. The walls are too cold to lean against now that you’re all toasty from the heat and steam, so you’re just unconsciously swaying on your feet, trying to balance the precedence of sleeping versus not falling over. You don’t even comprehend the sudden flip of the light switch overhead beyond the fact that it makes it easier to snooze without being so bright behind your eyelids.
The door eventually opens at the very same time you realize you never answered him, but you just commit to the silence at this point. It’s easy, you like it. Soon you feel warm hands touch your shoulders, slowly spinning you around while you follow and hang your head, your neck not wanting to support it any longer, and then suddenly a bare chest is pressing up against you and powerful arms are wrapping around your body, and you can just lean all of your weight into him while your head rests right here on his shoulder.
He holds you without moving for a long time, keeping you just like this—your ear pressed against his skin while water rains hot and comfortable down your back. Knowing you’re facing one of the walls, you crack your heavy lids just the slightest bit and finally notice the tiny compartment is dim and shrouded—the only light source is a single one coming from somewhere in the hull beyond the partially closed doorway. It’s dark and quiet and you can barely see anything besides the metallic fresher walls and unfocused droplets chasing each other down Din’s naked skin. Just you and him, flowing water with a sheet metal backdrop.
You think you spend an eternity like that and yet you still find yourself wanting another when he finally shifts, reaching over you to grab a bar of his generic soap but making sure to use the arm whose shoulder you’re not currently resting against.
It glides slow and hypnotic down your back, dragging up over your sides and then back down the curve of your spine. He’s so sturdy and he doesn’t say a word while he does it, lathering it along your body and rubbing it into your skin. His bar of soap, not yours. They started out almost the same since you picked them up at the same vendor, but there’s just a slightly bolder and sharper scent to his that you recognize. How the bar is far larger than yours because of how often he’s gone away.
Your eyes droop and you feel the water trail over your lips, dripping down your chin and pooling the dip of his collarbone. The only other time you two shared this fresher was terrifying and he’s rewriting the memories right now, whether consciously or not. Hot water, not freezing cold. Standing upright and supporting you. Heart beating strong under your ear, taking care of you this time until you can care for yourself.
You… you just worry so much more now, it’s becoming an issue. You didn’t realize how much until you nearly lost him, and you know in your heart that he’s just going to go away again. Throw himself into more danger, tempt death as always, risk his life for mere credits while all you can provide in return is this. Skin to skin contact. Someone to hold. Someone who knows him, who knows the way he struggles between reaching out for a softness that life has always denied him and clinging to what is rough and familiar. Someone to remind him that there’s still gentle and forgiving things in this galaxy that won’t disappear when he’s gone, and that he can always come home to them, as long as he can manage to find his way back.
Something sad tugs hard at your chest. You want to tell him not to leave. Again, again—you want nothing more than to beg him to stay. You don’t have anything better to offer instead; if he asked you how it would work, how you imagine your lives would go if he wasn’t hunting quarry on a constant timetable, you’d be hard-pressed. You don’t know. But you know what you want to say, because it’s two words you shouldn’t say but always find yourself needing to say regardless.
Don’t go.
But, instead of two words, you give him three.
Instead of asking him not to leave you again… in the haze and comfort of his arms, you think you just tell him that you love him.
And… you also don’t think the water falling down on the two of you is loud enough to cover it up this time.
It’s not ideal, you know. You know. From his point of view, he just got finished releasing all sorts of pent up tension on you, overwhelming your body with the strength and power of his in a way that normal people wouldn’t take as an expression of affection. But you know him. You know that he finds it much easier to express the things he feels in a physical way, which is why there’s a bar of soap against your back right now instead of his voice in your ear, telling you all the things you’ve always wanted to hear from him in return. You know that sex is how this all began and it’s likely just the closest link between roughness and sweetness that he can really put his hands on, something that can fit him equally as well as it fits you. Love is different, it’s thrilling and scary. Even to someone like him, who lives everyday of his life surrounded by thrilling and scary things, who’s seen more bloodshed and suffering and pain than you can ever even imagine, you know that it’s scary.
Din doesn’t say anything back to your confession, and truthfully, not a single part of you was expecting him to. It wasn’t said so he could say it back. It just is. Some things don’t need explanations, they just are. You’re okay with that.
But, you eventually come to realize that he always waits until you’re just on the very edges of sleep, holding out until your blurry vision and fading consciousness can trick you into thinking you only imagined it. You won’t ever figure out if it’s purposeful or if he just needs that long to find what he wants to say.
Another soft, lilting sentence in a language you wouldn’t be able to translate, even if you could pick out a single word. It sounds so beautiful though, regardless of how mysterious and far away its meaning feels. There’s something hidden underneath. You ache to know what it is.
But you’re so tired. You just whine softly against his shoulder, not being able to transform the thoughts into sentences anymore but hoping he understands regardless. He can’t just resort to bearing his soul in Mando’a all the time now, especially when you’re always on the verge of sleep when he chooses to do so.
But at some point, his arms subtly tighten around you and the pressure is one of the only things that’s keeping you awake anymore.
“I won’t ever ask you to,” he says to you, the quietness of his baritone getting lost in the gentle spray and your looming slumber. “I’m… not allowed to ask. I can’t.”
Your expression twitches just the slightest bit against his shoulder in confusion, wondering distantly what word or sentence you must’ve missed from before that would make him make sense. Was that a translation? Or a continuation?
But then your wet hair is slowly moved away from your nape and his head tilts down, face pressing into your neck and voice lowering until it’s nothing more than a breath against your skin, nothing more than a confession that he couldn’t ever say out loud with his full chest. It’s a secret he only ever wants you to know, a truth he’s choosing to admit to even though you could ruin him with it. You have no idea how much, you won’t know for a long time just how much power he’s giving you by telling you this one very simple thing.
“But whenever you want to look,” Din finally whispers, the only version of I love you too that a Mandalorian knows. “You can.”
#the mandalorian#the mandalorian x you#the mandalorian x reader#din djarin x reader#din djarin x you#din djarin#fanfic#reader-insert#rough day#no-droids#smut
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please write a heeseung college!au !!!! ♡♡
college!au heeseung
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: thank you for requesting! sorry if this is so long, i kind of got carried away and i was kind of inspired by one of my favorite blogger's writing style
major: cinematography (don't ask why, i can just imagine him being so into making motion pictures)
he'd probably minor in like north american or woman studies tbh
i can see him as a really quiet, doesn't involve himself in too many things, kind of student
doesn't really speak up when it isn't needed
but if it's a topic he's really familiar with, you can't shut him up
definitley the type of student to sit in the very front even if the classroom has like a billion seats left open
i also see him as the type to never be in the library, he usually just studies out on the grass or in a very underrated cafe.
lives off of coffee to the point his roomate!jake tells him he smells like coffee 25/8
you know how gym freaks take a shot of like protein powder before their workout? yeah that's him but with ground up coffee beans if he is in a rush and doesn't want to wait for his coffee to brew.
it's kinda funny, you don't know heeseung, and he doesn't know you. but you pass each other almost everyday because you also go to the same cafe as him.
like youre always leaving as he enters and like????
hello how r u not noticing such an amazing human being
but dont worry, ya'll meet some day
you're walking across your campus and the bulletin board catches your attention
amongst all the papers screaming "tutor needed" or "join our club", theres a flier SMACK DAB in the middle
"class do20 presents mini films at flint theatre this friday!"
and like, that peaks your interests
because you've always appreciated people's works
but you're kinda just standing in the middle of the walkway and staring at it , you don't realize someone standing next to you
"are you going to go and watch?"
you nearly jumped out of your skin cause like, who tf just talks to someone without getting their attention first
heeseung does
and now he's just staring at you waiting for an answer
"uh,, yeah seems kind of interesting. why? are you?"
"i have no choice to. i'm a part of it, i just haven't started on my film yet."
.... homie, the show is on friday and it's currently tuesday
silence
no words or expressions are exchanged and you're just staring awkwardly at each other
but in reality, you two are just silently admiring each other's features
"do you want to be a part of my film?"
your blank expression turned into a "wtf" kind of expression
"you want me, a complete stranger, to be a part of your film?"
he proceeds to tell you that it'll be a lot easier for him to work with a stranger since he'd most likely not mess around
because this boy needs to get his assignment done asap
and you kind of hesitate but then you're like "well, fuck it. sure"
and then he smiles. and holy
this guy has one of the most captivating smiles ever and you literally feel your heart stop for a small second
"let's get started today, if that's okay with you?" he suggests
and you agree and tell him you have one more class, but he can meet you at a cafe you're usually at
and now it's his turn for his heart to skip a beat because he's talking to an attractive person who just willingly agreed to help him on his project AND goes to the same underrated cafe???
but before he can say anything.. you're already walking away
and now he's just standing there dumb and love struck
but yeah heeseung is already at the cafe thirty min early while he waits for you, camera out facing the door, waiting for you to enter
catches you on film as you walk inside and he kinda just watches you in awe as you're scanning the room to find where he is
you give him a small smile and wave and in that moment, heeseung knew what title he was giving his film
you take your seat and you're like "so, what would you like me to do?"
and heeseung just asks you to do whatever you would usually do at the cafe
and you're like oh sweet. that's easy.
so you ask him what kind of coffee he wants and when he tells you, you stand up to leave and order coffee
he films everything
from you standing in line awkwardly, you picking at your nails, scrolling through your phone, ordering... literally everything
you come back holding both cups (which of course he films too)
"i usually just do my homework while i'm here, but i don't have a lot today"
"that's fine. you can just do it, and if it's okay, i can ask you questions to get to know you better."
"yeah that's okay with me. i can multitask well. i think."
that earns you a chuckle from him
he angles the camera at the end of the end of the table, focusing on you
and ya'll just do homework together and learn new things about each other
like how you eat pizza with a fork and knife because you refuse to get your hands dirty
which heeseung reacts with "do you need professional help?"
but homie blurts out he lives and breathes off of ramen noodles and his roomate!jake has to restock for him every two days
and you're like.... "you're the one who needs professional help."
and for a couple hours
you guys are just goofing around and talking to each other as if you've known each other for years
homework done, three cups of coffee later, heeseung's camera runs out of battery so he calls it a day
chooses the next location to film
a dog park
so the next day, classes done, you meet him at the dog park, and even brought your dog
films you throwing tennis balls, petting dogs, and even you getting chased by a dog
laughs throughout the whole filming process but then internally regrets it because he notices it could probably be heard in the video
breaks it to you that he has enough content for his project
and lowkey youre kind of sad because you've had fun being around him the past two days but you keep it to yourself
"i'm glad i could help. i can't wait to see it heeseung."
loves the way you say his name and now he's sad too because he doesn't really have an excuse to hang out with you more
so ya'll part ways after saying bye
but it's not some dramatic "i'm never going to see them again"
cause ya'll run into each other again at the cafe the next day
and it's kind of unspoken but ya'll just silently agree to sit down with each other and work on homework
you, reading out of your textbook, and him working diligently on his laptop (shh he's editing his film)
and you kind of steal glances his way and he's just smiling to himself as he works
and that's because he loves the way his film is coming along, and he loves seeing you
because in that moment, you both realize you have feelings for each other
but once again it's unspoken cause you're both scaredy cats
you call it a day and say bye and him back
you guys don't see each other until the night of the film show
and you're like okay i'll tell him i have feelings for him after the show
little did you know, he was thinking the same thing about you
but he's up in the film booth sweating his ass off because he knows you're somewhere in the crowd
and all of a sudden he doesn't want to be there
"what if they don't like me in that way?" "what if they take my video the wrong way?"
internally and externally panics
but before he can grab his cd and break it, the lights turn off and oh shit the show is starting
tbh, the films from the other students were quite interesting and you were enjoying each one
but this uncomfortable feeling was forming in the pit of your stomach
were you anxious? nervous?
idk but you were anticipating heeseung's film
and finally on the screen appeared heeseung's picture and biography
you didn't even notice the smile growing on your face
you thought to yourself, what did he even name his film?
"love through my eyes"
....love??
does heeseung have feelings for me too? or did they switch up someone's film with his??
but nope, there was no switch up
you watched yourself on the screen, from you smiling at him at the first moments in the cafe, to you laughing at his eating habits, and to you being chased by the dog, audibly hearing heeseung's giggles
but you thought it was over until there were more clips of the both of you in the cafe
however, they weren't from the first meeting. the clothes you both were wearing were different
wait, isn't this from two days ago? he filmed us that day?
from a hidden angle, the camera caught you two stealing glances at each other when the other wasn't paying attention.
you looked at him with stars in your eyes, and when you went back to your textbook, he stole glances at you as if your were his entire universe
speechless, the film ended, and with his film being last, the show ended and the lights turned back on
you didn't even applaud, for you ran out of the building immediatley, looking for heeseung
and there he is at the entrance of the theatre just staring at his feet
looks up when you hear him running up to him
"so... the film" he starts
but you don't let him finish because you pull him by the shirt and kiss him
and he's shocked because what the fuck they're kising me?!?!
but relaxes and kisses you back
and yeah, that's how your relationship starts
and expect him to film you at random times
would probably treasure "love through my eyes" and play it as a surprise at your guys' wedding in the future
im crying
#enhypen#heeseung#lee heeseung#enhypen heeseung#enhypen au#enhypen fluff#enhypen drabbles#enhypen reactions#enhypen fic#enhypen headcanons#enhypen soft hours#heeseung x reader#heeseung x you#heeseung fluff#heeseung au#heeseung imagines#enhypen scenarios
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accidental kiss || tsukishima kei, ennoshita chikara, miya atsumu, lev haiba
request : Hey Can I request a headcanon or one shot with Haikyuu characters (any of your choices) having an accidental kiss with their crush, you know, the cliché romance scene in drama's where the girl fell and male catches her and end ups kissing, or something when the girl turn around not noticing the close distance between the male, and their lips touches. Anything that is accidental
warnings : miya atsumu, Suna Gets a Haircut
a/n : so i did one of those random hq generator things bc i could only decide on one boi and that was tsukki,,, the results made me laugh so here you go -- btw these are all gonna be pre-dating bc thats just wonderful we love that
tsukishima kei
this is definitely all tsukkis fault
you two are at your house just vibing and at some point you head into the kitchen to make food
and hes leaning against the counter right in front of the cabinet you need to get to
but he has the audacity not to move the fuck outta the way when you tell him you need to get past
so youre like ok fuck it and just reach around him to open it
but the bowl you need is pretty high up so youre like on your tippy toes tryna get the damn thing and hes just sitting there watching you struggle
instead of helping you like he isnt damn near 6′3″
but riiiiight as youve got the bowl, you end up grabbing it a little too forcefully and you bring like a million dishes down with it
so ofc even though he definitely deserves it, youre not trying to concuss the poor guy with literal ceramic dishes raining down on him
so you kinda lunge forward to stop them all from falling
and, hearing the crash of dishes over his head, he naturally ducks because he doesnt want to die
honestly,,,, its more of a crash of your noses and foreheads but theres such chaos of like,,, trying not to die??
that at some point you just feel his mouth on yours and it deadass just stays there while you both are figuring out what the hell is happening
eventually he kinda pulls back but only a little bc he knows youre struggling to hold onto the dishes and he doesnt wanna screw that up
and he doesnt even say anything he just reaches up awkwardly and helps you set the dishes back on the shelf
and then he grabs the bowl youd been trying the get the entire time and hands it to you with a completely blank face
its a very awkward dinner im not gonna lie
mostly bc at some point he just starts cracking jokes about it and refuses to acknowledge it seriously bc he sucks
ennoshita chikara
ennoshita’s taking a break from studying with the second years on the team
mostly bc he never gets any studying done with them
so youre studying together for a test at his house
and its just been many many hours of studying so ofc youre both exhausted
so its not surprising to him when you just pass out on your notes
but the thing is,,, your heads right on top of a sheet that he needs
and for a while he just kinda studies without it
he studies other stuff and tries to remember it on his own so he can fill in the gap in his notes
but eventually hes like fuck i really need these notes
so he just,,, tries to slide it out from under your head really carefully
and it involves a lot of him getting really close and trying to lift your head and a bunch of really soft cute things that would be super embarrassing for him to be caught doing
like,,, if you happened to wake up
which of course, you do
and youre really confused bc you can feel his breath fanning over your face and his eyes are really close but not focused on you, theyre focused on smth under your face
so you lift your head to see what hes doing
but he freaks out and moves his face when he notices youre awake
and its just a litto brush of your lips over his as your faces are passing each other
but the poor bub jumps back like you just shocked the crap out of him
and then he apologizes for like the next ten minutes and its impossible to get back to studying bc youre both just panicking internally
miya atsumu
this literally happens like it does in the movies
it all starts with a chase scene
that really you should never have been a part of
youre just minding your business walking down the hall after school on your way to get your stuff
and its pretty empty bc you had a club thing so its late afternoon and no ones around
and you just hear it
men screaming
and then he appears, barreling around the corner like his life depends on it
and youre like
this cant be good
and when he sees you hes yelling out for you like HELP ME
but you somehow always manage to get caught in the miya twin antics so youre like
fuck no im out
but apparently youre not out bc atsumus grabbing your arm and dragging you behind him yelling smth about scissors and a haircut
and when you look back you just see suna rounding the corner, half of his little triangle haircut chopped off so he looks like a sad half onigiri,,,
but you know it was atsumu and that this man is definitely dead when suna catches him
so youre like okay fuck it i guess im helping him AGAIN
and you get outside to a section of the school where theres still sports teams practicing and lots of people around so you hide in a corner together
but the Suna Energy is approaching so atsumu fuckin freaks and does that cheesy movie thing where he ducks his head down so he wont be seen
but theres like a group of guys passing by and one of them just bumps into atsumus back and that shit just sends him right into you
and all he can think is “oops”
he only has one brain cell give him a break
but he just stalls completely and forgets about the whole suna thing
but ofc his hair is fucking piss yellow and suna has not forgotten
he ends up totally getting his ass beat but after that little smooch atsumus definitely a bit keen to see you more often
lev haiba
i fucking love this gif look at the litto shoyou go
this tall babie does not know the meaning of personal space he has no functional understanding of a Bubble
honestly he probably gets dangerously close to kissing you on a regular basis, considering you’re seatmates in class
he’s just ALWAYS in your space
at first he’s probably shy bc he doesn’t know you
but once you become friends he’s like THIS IS NOT YOUR DESK THIS IS JUST MY SECOND DESK
so every day there’s always one thing that’s super dangerous
last week it was him looking over your shoulder while you did work silently
yesterday it was him reaching across you to open the window on your left side
today he just really wants a bite of the bread you bought and are currently already eating
and when he wants smth, he gets Very Whiny
he’s so clingy and adorable that you can’t ever get mad
he’s like a little puppy how can you resist him
so when you’re finally like okay fine you can have a bite he’s like
MONCH
he doesn’t even wait for you to tear off a piece he just leans in for a bite
but you had said yes while in the middle of biting it so he essentially does that thing where you’re both biting it at the same time
but, again, he doesn’t know what personal space means
so he also doesn’t have the ability to gauge distances well
so he straight up just meets you halfway and presses his mouth to yours while he’s biting down
the boi probably doesn’t even notice
he just pulls back quickly once he has his bite and goes about his life
you literally are going to have to tell him he just kissed you
and after that he’s a total fucking mess
he doesn’t know what to do he never knows what to do
he’s just going to keep causing Chaos while he panics
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#ennoshita chikara#ennoshita x reader#miya atsumu#atsumu x reader#lev haiba#lev x reader#haikyuu headcanons
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Hero Killer Stain | Akaguro Chizome Relationship Headcanons
Yes I’m here to deliver.
The kind of person to only have very few friends. This guy ain’t the socialising type. I mean look at him he practically oozes lone wolf vibes. Not a people person for sure. He’s definitely socially awkward as fuck though thanks to his poker face that part of him isn’t obvious.
If you do manage to be friends with him though, oh boi where do I even begin?
He is an independent guy so expect like long ass periods of non-contact. He would occasionally check in on you to make sure that you are alive and doing well, sometimes with a text saying hes coming over. If you are lucky he might hang around for a while but apart from that he’s not gon do much (totally not because he’s socially awkward cough cough).
Really thoughtful as hecc. He’s not such an asshole to make any demands for you and your time. With how disillusioned he is with the current state of society, he’s going to cherish all the shit you have done for him, especially when you are one of the only ones who stayed with him despite the bloody path he has chosen.
Mention offhandedly about needing or wanting something? So long as he can afford it, it’s definitely going to appear on your table the next day without a trace of him left in your house. The kind to help around the house when he possibly can. Even if you try to deny his aid he’s not gonna budge at all cus he is one stubborn ass motherfucker. After some time you just give up and let him do what he wants. Though it is kinda funny to see the Hero Killer doing domestic stuff around your house.
However he can be a bit of an insensitive jerk at times. He judges a bit too hastily and makes wrongful assumptions. He also tends to believe that the fault lies within the person themselves whenever theres a problem, and will point it out if you asked for it.
This can result in arguments when you make mistakes or anything cus he will unintentionally make a comment that directly attacks you and your character. I can see that eventually you would reach a breaking point where you cry and/or scream at him about these hurtful comments. Yelling would of course devolve into an argument until you explain your feelings and situation to him such that he understands. Crying would just really hit in the realisation on how shitty his actions were and he would rectify that immediately by comforting you.
Hangouts typically consist of you guys sitting there in silence doing your own thing or watching a movie, or both of you engaging in philosophical discussion about today’s society. Yes because this is Stain we are talking about, expect the topic of False Heroes to come about. Once that happens, you would end up listening through his entire rant on False Heroes and their Unworthiness for the Hero title.
You definitely have engaged in debates with him on dealing with false heroes. He would be respectful of your views so long as they are well supported AND well-rounded arguments. Being one-sided esp towards the heroes would make him dismiss your views since it’s the same opinions adopted by the masses. Acknowledging and accepting that his views and ideals are valid would be a big deal for him, even if you disagree.
Sadly I’m not really sure if it would change much on his hero killing ways. To him, it’s the only solution he feels he could implement to best deal with false heroes, and it’s a necessary evil. Plus, he’s more of the take action guy. He can’t really just sit around, wait and think on what to do when there’s so much at stake. I find that it would be good for him to have a partner to hold him back and properly think through some stuff because of this, if he were to get into a romantic relationship. And speaking of that…
If you are in a romantic relationship with him, it’s just the above friendship qualities multiplied by 10 plus the couple things.
He WILL be a mother hen for his s/o. Regarding his friends, he tends to trust their ability to take care of themselves, only stepping in when needed to. Regarding his partner? He takes responsibility for their wellbeing. If their condition is less than perfect, he’s going to do something about it.
Accidentally cut yourself? He’s already grabbing the first aid kit. Sees you aren’t getting enough sleep? Prepared to be whooshed away and dumped on your bed. Stressed and anxious? He asks you to confide in him about your worries, and if you can’t, at least tell him how he can make you feel better.
God forbid someone lay a hand on you intending harm cus if Stain knows about it, he will straight up gut them. He will interrogate you if he sees an injury on you that’s unlikely to be an accident. He’s not going to budge until you tell him who did it to you, and even if you don’t, he WILL find out on his own. He might end up hurting someone innocent so it’s best if you tell him who did it to save him the trouble. And if they mysteriously disappear from your life, that’s only for the two of you to know :^)
He’s definitely not used to physical affection being the loner he is, so if you initiate and like give him a hug or a kiss he will get flustered and blue screen for a short while. He would also be tense when cuddling for the first few times, then relaxing a little bit afterwards. Uh don’t surprise tackle him out of nowhere unless you want to get slashed or chucked at a wall. As much as he loves to indulge in your affections, he still needs to keep his instincts honed for fighting. You never know when someone might decide to attack the both of you. (You tried to surprise hug him once. It ended up with you getting injured and him attending to your injuries while lecturing you a little about doing that AROUND A SERIAL KILLER WHO KILL HEROES for a LIVING)
But otherwise he doesn’t mind physical affection. He would grow to love it, and would gradually take initiative to touch you at any opportunity if you tell him you are open to it. This does become funny with his brilliant poker face, when you guys are doing your own thing and all of sudden he gets close to you to hug, smooch or cuddle. He gives absolutely no warning whatsoever. It never gets old. Your reactions to him doing this amuses him a lot.
Expect occasional heartfelt speeches on how much he loves you or how much you mean to him. Might not realise this himself but gOd he can be a sMOOTH motherfucker. He is good with words, and gENUINE about what he says about. He will pull off the how I saw the world as a dark ugly place until you came along speech shtick and there will be this Moment of you guys beholding each others presence. THATS how good he is. (I mean you heard him monologing while fighting Izuku, Tenya and Shouto like daamn)
He’s a very practical person and isn’t one to be sentimental. He can’t afford to be sentimental if it can jeopardise him and his loved ones in any way. He’s adamant on not keeping anything of his around in your house cus he doesn’t want you implicated or associated with his murders at all.
Somehow, if you both are really really deep into the relationship, I can see him letting both of you carrying rings from each other. Not worn around the ring finger of course cus that can attract unwanted attention, but rather it being attached to a chain necklace that both of you would have at all times.
It’s kind of a promise and dedication to you, in the sense that, if he could or if he had the chance to, he would have formally proposed to you. He hopes that he can if somehow he fulfils his personal mission, and if both of you can find somewhere peaceful and safe together.
Edit: Realised I forgot to add some stuff in lol, so dont mind that I add more points to this already long ass post. Im on mobile so apologies if formatting is weird.
#hero killer stain#stain x reader#akaguro chizome x reader#akaguro chizome#bnha x reader#mha x reader#hnnnnnngh fuck can u tell how much I love this man
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zenos posting
Zenos in stormblood was a megalomaniacal and genocidal tyrant. If you liked him then, chances are you liked him in endwalker. If you hated him then, maybe you'll learn enough about him to change your mind after reading this post. Or maybe you'll hate him more! That's up to you. Please note this will contain spoilers for ALL of endwalker so if you haven't seen those credits roll yet, consider passing on this for now.
Part 1: who is zenos?
I'm sure you know who zenos is. But let's recap, cause it's important. Zenos was crown prince of the garlean empire, the most warlike, xenophobic power currently in existence. As prince, his role was to conquer the savage nations of eorzea, a job which brought both ruthless bloodthirst and deep disdain for others. His peerless power brought with it arrogance and dissatisfaction. Zenos, though he doubtless received a prince's education, learned nothing of compassion, love, or empathy from anyone in his life. He very likely has never had anyone he could consider a friend. This is by no means an excuse for his actions, but merely a note to keep in mind for later sections.
Part 2: what drives zenos?
We all know zenos is driven by an insatiable urge to fight challenging opponents. He himself claims that he cares for nothing else. And while it is his primary motivation, we can see by the way he behaves that he does, in fact, value other things! So let's break them down in order.
A) zenos wants to fight the WoL again. Any morality he may have had prior to his defeat is abandoned, as he has found the only source of true joy he's ever experienced.
B) zenos lives for the drama of it all. If this man had never picked up a blade, he would've made waves in the garlean theater scene. His actions are over the top and his eloquent speeches are wholly unnecessary, but he uses them to set the perfect mood for what he wants.
C) zenos wants to explore his friendship with you! He has never had a friend before, so his attempts are hamfisted and childlike at best, but he does think of you as a friend and it's deeply reductive to write that off as a madman's ravings.
Part 3: who are you to zenos?
Zenos says you are his friend. But the reality is that you are so much more than that! Zenos basically reveres you as a god. You are a brilliant light that he so desperately desires to bash himself off of, like a moth on a lightbulb. He seeks to better himself because he knows he's lost to you before and he wants to make sure that when you finally do fight him, he can stand on equal footing. Winning or losing doesn't matter a whole lot to zenos in this case. He just wants to experience that thrill one more time, and savor it as long as possible. Zenos is also the only villain we've had who respects your ability. Every other enemy we've had so far looks down on you and assumes they’re somehow special and powerful enough to beat you. but zenos straight up tells you “hey, i understand. theres no fun in a rematch against someone you owned. i get it.” he is however willing to do Literally Anything to get that rematch! so let’s get into that!
Part 4: what it all means
Zenos obviously believes that you are, deep down, the same as him. He sees in you a kindred spirit, someone else who Lives for the thrill of a fight where you very well may die. Whether he’s right depends on you, but he also knows that the two of you are different in some crucial ways. He knows that you are a hero bound by a righteous cause. this prevents you from seeking him out and fighting him, whether you want to or not, because you have to save the world. As such, zenos steps into the role of the Biggest Threat, and he plays it very well! He doesnt actually give a shit about taking over eorzea anymore, or subjugating the nations that freed themselves from garlean rule. but he knows that would set himself up as a threat that needs neutralized immediately. and yet you do not appear, bound as you are by your duties in the First. but zenos doesnt know about this, so he has to escalate. This leads to his alliance with Fandaniel. The warrior of light can ignore a war, but they could NEVER ignore the end of the world.
And then of course, you come back! and zenos is so excited about that that he spends what would be The Most Miserable Time getting fandaniel to help him set up his meeting with you in garlemald. zenos cannot stand the guy but he’s willing to swallow his pride and ask for help with what he wants to do. and this is the first of his attempts to show his friendship. when youre friends with someone, you tend to have a natural desire to share experiences with them, whether that be doing things together or showing them things you enjoyed. And the first experience zenos wishes to share with you, as a friend, is the experience of having to fight in a body much worse than your own, with the urgency of needing to get back to your true body. He had to go through this when his body was stolen by an ascian, and while it cant be said that he enjoyed it, the experience left enough of an impression on him that he thought you simply HAD to try it. it was harrowing and foul, like wading through freezing mud, but the payoff of getting your body back after the adrenaline and desperation was probably like nothing else. the closest he’s come to enjoying something that wasnt fighting.
but like. the THEATER of the whole setup??? im sure fandaniel suggested some or all of it but i dont think zenos wouldve gone along with the dinner if he hadnt thought it was like, extremely good from a drama perspective. he was way into it.
and then he is mostly absent, as we’ve killed zodiark and have to deal with a bunch of bullshit. he is, not content, but experiencing enrichment like a zoo lion playing with a ball, killing the blasphemies at the end of days. but then we get to what i think is by far his most interesting choice, when he approaches Krile, who is not a stupid or treacherous woman, presumably IN old sharlayan, and manages to convince her to give him both directions AND the corpse of god herself so that he can follow you to the end of the world. Zenos is, at this point, possibly the most evil man alive, having betrayed his country, killed and enslaved his people, and ushered in the apocalypse, but he manages to convince Krile that he will Actually Help you end it. I cannot imagine how he did it, but he is a very eloquent man, and frankly has never had a reason to lie.
We can see when zenos shows up that he didn’t actually expect you to need help. He believes you to be more powerful than anything else in the universe, be it gods or the very concept of despair. He’s surprised when he arrives and Meteion is still alive. But even after all this time, he’s still quite patiently waiting. He doesn’t fight Meteion in your stead, or help you fight to speed it up. Instead he offers himself to be your steed and battlefield, in a move that enemy who had any pride would ever consider. but zenos of course has no pride. he’s willing to do whatever is necessary to get to a point where he can Fight you.
And what of the fight? What does Zenos actually want from this, beyond his satisfaction? He wants, once again, to share an experience with you as a friend. The euphoria of a fight as close to death as possible. That’s something you’ve never experienced. The Warrior of Light has never lost a battle or come close to death, but for Zenos, dying in battle against you was the greatest moment of his life. He wants you to know what that feels like. He improves himself so much so that he can provide that challenge and that experience for you, and also for himself at the same time.
but does he want to kill you? I dont believe so. A victory for Zenos would be empty. hollow. a bleak return to the way things used to be. He would no longer have anything to live for, and so he would wander the star, searching for someone who could challenge him, and likely never find them. Winning would be torment. I dont think he necessarily wants to lose, either. I think that Zenos’s ideal outcome is exactly what he got: the two of you brawling it out until you both couldnt possibly fight another second. And what a perfect setting for it, the edge of the universe! No distractions, no other people around, all of your attention is on him for once, just as his has been on you since he revived. All the waiting was worth it to him just for this stage. And lying there, at the end, with you, I think zenos found happiness surpassing anything he’d experienced before. He fought his best, you fought your best, both a fair match for each other. I dont think he could’ve asked for a better conclusion to his life, and I couldn’t either. If youve read this far, i’d apologize but at this point you’ve put yourself through this all on your own. thanks for that <3
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spent all my love on you
lee!felix x gender!neutral reader
warnings: since laser tag is in this fic theres mentions of shooting and guns, which is referring to the game where they shoot other players in order to gain points, nothing violent
a/n: hey look a felix au finally in your pov! i told you i’d do it hehe,, and if you remember when i accidentally posted this then no you don’t (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ i’ll finish ur requests i swear ಠ_ಠ anyways enjoy!
« masterlist prev work »
for the longest time, your lifelong friend jisung had been bugging you to go to this arcade with him
you eventually said yes since you physically couldn’t say no to his puppy eyes and he took you there one weekend
he was practically bouncing the entire way, babbling about all the people you’d meet
turns out he came here every weekend to play laser tag with a couple of friends he made here
this was news to you, but you let jisung lead you to a pool table in the back where six boys were..attempting to play pool?
after several games of game pigeon pool you were an expert !! or at least more then what these guys were doing
the one with long hair was holding the billiard the wrong way (╥_╥)
you could hear the cheerful laughs coming from them as jisung tugged you beside him
“guys, this is y/n, the friend i mentioned! y/n these are the dumbasses i started hanging out with-,”
“if anything, you’re the dumbass!” the one holding the billiard upside down reprimanded, dropping the stick and making his way towards you both “i’m hyunjin, nice to meet you!”
“hi hyunjin—,”
“move out of the way! hi i’m jeongin!” a new boy appeared, shoving hyunjin away as he held his hand out
“oh, hello!”
one by one all the boys came up to introduce themseleves to you, well six of them at least, didn’t jisung say there were seven of them?
“where the hell is felix?” jisung asked, looking towards who you now knew as minho “is he doing the thing again?”
minho solemnly nodded before gesturing to the claw machine a couple feet away from them, and there stood a blond haired boy with his back faced to them as he aggressively tried to win what looked like a stuffed animal
jisung shook his head before gesturing for you to follow him
“is this a normal occurrence?” you asked as you both made your way to the boy
“yeah, last month is was the dance revolution game and this week it’s the claw machine-felix!”
said boy let go of the claw to turn and smile widely at the both of them “sungie! do you have a token i can use to try again? pleaseeee?”
jisung rolled his eyes as he tossed the boy a token before pointing to you
“this is y/n, they’re playing with us now.”
“oh,” felix turned his head to you, giving you a once over before winking “nice to meet you,” before rolling the token in “let me make my first impression winning a stuffed toy!”
“you’ve been at this forever, which one do you want?” jisung asked, waking closer to press his head against the glass
felix solemnly pointed to the chick plushie tucked into the corner, and you admit it was cute so you could see why he was trying so hard
“want me to try?” you asked, stepping closer as you looked over the machine
“go for it!” he smiled, moving out of your way to press himself against the glass next to jisung
you clicked start and took a hold of the joystick
you squinted your eyes and found the same plushie a bit closer, hidden behind another one and aimed for that instead
you heard gasps coming from where the two boys were standing as the claw grabbed the two plushies and dropped them into the box
and since you had some extra seconds left you managed to grab one more
“there you go!” you pulled out the plushies and handed felix the chick one and gave jisung the squirrel one, keeping the llama one for yourself
“wow we all match now!” jisung cheered
“thank you!” felix said, his eyes shining with glee as he looked at you, and you were this close to getting all the plushies out so he could always look this happy
“no problem-,”
“HEY LOSERS OUR GAME IS STARTING HURRY UP!” you heard minho interrupt, as he and the other boys disappeared behind some doors
you guys ran behind him, tucking the plushies away for later
there was another group of people with you and since the teams were randomized, your group got split up after getting the gear on
“prepare to lose!” hyunjin teased, sticking his tongue out at you, chan, seungmin, and jeongin (who were on the same team as you)
“shut up!” jeongin glared, holding up his laser gun and pretending to shoot the other
jisung joined in and started to play shoot you, while you feigned getting shot
before you could play shoot him back the lights went off and the gate opened, letting you guys inside as the game was about to start
you and your team each split up, making plans to shoot at least one member
your ignore the way your stomach fluttered at the thought of felix chasing after you but quickly shook those out of the way, you had to stay focused !
once the bell rang you were off, you hid behind the walls as you shot a couple of the other team’s players
you spotted a familiar pair of shoes and quickly went to go shoot jisung, who gave you a pout as you ran off giggling
you watched your score steadily go up as you got more and more people, and the adrenaline was getting to you, you were motivated to win this thing 〴⋋_⋌〵
you had only been shot a couple of times so you weren’t too worried about getting caught,
you were currently hiding in the corner where no one had found you yet as you shot anyone who ran past
you were just about to shoot a player on the opposing team when you felt a prescence behind you
quickly turning around you were met with felix giving you a sly grin as he backed you into the wall
“your cornered now y/n,” he whispered, pulling out the gun as he aimed it at your vest, “game over for you.”
you ignored the fast beating of your heart as he made his way closer, his free hand coming to make trace its way down your jaw
“you look really pretty under these lights,” he muttered, quirking an eyebrow up and he angled his face a bit closer “lucky i get to see you like this.”
you were too nervous to squeak out a thank you as felix closed the gap between the two of you, but just before he could come any closer you heard the familiar beep on your vest
you look down to see you’ve been shot and felix shooting you a sly grin, the little shit
“distracted by my charm?” he teased, his lips right beside your ear, “am i that handsome?”
you rolled your eyes as he backed away
“i’d love to stay but your vest is charging up so i’m gonna blast, bye sweetheart,” he blew you a kiss before running off
you huffed as you waiting for your vest to reset, following after the blonde boy as you did so
no way you were gonna let him get the last shot between the two of you
and maybe you wanted to be that close again to him...
after ducking behind a couple of pillars you finally spotted him crouching behind a wall as he shot one of your teammates
you let yourself grin in victory as you made your way behind him, making sure you weren’t seen, then aiming your gun at the back of his vest
you shot him and watched in glee as his vest gave out a beep and saw him look around for the culprit before spotting you giggling behind him
“you!” he smiled, geting up from his hiding place on the ground and wagging his gun at you
“you didn’t expect to get away with that, did you?” you laughed, backing away as he made his way closer to you and holding out your gun, “i’ll get you again!”
“cool down time is a minute,” he grinned, letting you back yourself up into the wall, “what do you wanna do with that one minute?”
you let your eyes wander off toward his lips,,but you swear it was cus he was talking!
not cus he looked extremely kissable
perhaps you stared too long cus he took notice and cupped your jaw
“mhm, ten seconds is enough,”
“enough for what—?”
you were shut up with his lips capturing yours, leading you for a bit before pulling back
“sorry babe but my time is up,” he winked before shooting you in the vest and running off
took you a few moment to realize what happened before you were chasing after him
“FELIX YOU MF”
when the game ended you and felix were tied to your immense surprise, while jisung was currently boasting about his first place
now that you were out of the dim lit laser tag room you could see felix in better light,
and god damn
you could see the swear glistening on his face from all the running and his unkempt hair from the humid room
you weren’t too sure if this was a one time thing or he actually wanted to try something with you
you were crossing your fingers it was the latter
you got ur answer soon enough when you felt a tap on your shoulder and an awkward felix made his appearance
it was endearing to see his confident side and nervous one all in one day
“do you maybe wanna, grab lunch after tomorrow? just me and you?”
you played along to being oblivious before you replied,
“lee felix...are you asking me out?”
his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink before nodding at you
you gave him a smile before saying yes, the rest was history
bonus headcanons:
apparently jisung had a bet on which one of his friends you would end up dating, ro your surprised he had guessed it would be felix
ಠ_ಠ sometimes you forgot how well jisung knew you
you also found out he didn’t come every week just for laser tag, he also wanted to get close to a specific boy named changbin ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
which was endless teasing material for you
after the lunch date the next day, you both stopped by the arcade again and this time he managed to win you a little prize
since you both had just met one another a good majority of your dates were just you two chatting as you walked aimlessly, getting to know one another
and after about one month he invited you over to his place to cook dinner for you, which is where you shared your next kiss <3
thank you for reading ⁂
#stray kids#stray kids lee felix#stray kids lee yongbok#stray kids au#stray kids fic#stray kids imagines#stray kids imagine#lee felix x reader#lee felix x y/n#lee felix x you#lee felix x gender neutral reader#stray kids x gender neutral reader#lee felix au#lee felix imagines#lee felix imagine#lee yongbok x reader#lee yongbok x y/n#yongbok x reader#lee felix fluff#stray kids fluff
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So a scenario for my baby boy (Agapito): how would he handle a darling that has feelings for him but their logic keeps getting in the way and they keep their distance due to power dynamic, trauma with drugs/cigarettes and seeing red flags
Scenario Commissions asked by Agapitos Pet
Picking up another ramen packet from the grocery store that's currently filled with shoppers for breakfast wasn't particularly the best way to start off your day, no different from any of the other mornings this week but it was simply the best thing you could afford. Sighing out with a small curse underneath your breath one of the frequent passer bys in the same aisle you're about to leave took notice. The faint smell of smoke instantly made you aware of just who happened to find you, hand resting on your back as he hovers above you looking at your selection before scoffing “you're seriously going to eat that crap?”
As much as this man can get on your nerves you can't help but smile a bit, not hesitating on speaking back “Well if it isn't Agapito, I don't know why but I could never imagine you in a place as busy as this”, this definitely is not the first time he's suddenly appeared besides you, there was plenty of other times Agapito found you no matter how out of place it was for him, you'd start to think he was keeping track of you if it wasn't for the part of your brain that didn't want to analyze him as anything more than a flirtatious boy that has a mere crush on you. Agapitos expression reflects his natural untroubled aura anyone could identify from a mile away at your comment
“I'm simply here to save you from eating pre-packaged shit, here come with me-” quickly tossing what was originally going to be your breakfast back onto the shelf Agapito replaced the cup of noodles with his hand, dragging you off to the other side of the store where there lies a deli with a moderate line to it “It’ll be on me, save the little money to your name for something nice” All his actions left you unable to think, did he really just do that? All to have you at the end of this line of people who are chatting amongst themselves and tapping on the phones they have their heads buried in. Minutes pass before you actually process what he said “how did you know i didn't have much money?” a second of silence followed, the gears in his head clearly struggling to turn “well you're buying ramen, it's the cheapest thing in the store” Agapitos quick save obviously didn't convince you though a new concern popped up in your thoughts
This man is already shady as fuck, theres no way this is all just to be nice even if he does have a crush on you, crossing your arms spitting out “you're just doing this so ill owe you later, back off, manipulation tactics won't work on me-” “do you want a good breakfast for once or not?” whatever tension that was growing between the two of you instantly faded with the sound of your stomach growling, light blush warming up your cheeks. As you cursed your stomach under your breath Agapito’s cocky smile came back to his lips, making a compromise for the two of you. “Fine you can keep your 15 cent ramen, but at least let me cook dinner for you, I'll give you my address and everything” offering you an actual meal, when was the last time you've had something like that again?
“Ugh your home probably smells more of smoke than you do” before you could even think those words came out of your mouth, too slow for your hands to cover over your lips before Agapito laughed a bit, looking away sheepishly, a simple “I’ll clear it out for you, no smell of cigarettes or weed, promise.” “wait i didn't know about the weed” in return he swiftly managed a “oh, that's not important” to follow your comment, the faint tone of regret in that sentence was very clear to you, yet nevertheless it didn't seem like a completely bad idea despite all the red flags you just identified, after all a date with this tempting cocky man isn't the worst possibility that could happen tonight right?
#writing commissions#$5 commissions#agapitos pet#agapito x you#agapito adolfo#agapito my oc#agapito#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere imagine#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#yandere ocs#yandere oc#its not 7 bullet points but still 700 words as requested#its hard to split these paragraphs lol
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I feel like it also heavily depends on what chara you running for elden ring. Like I'm going full int noodle arms and I basically tri shot most bossed, sometimes they just bug and give up and state at me un movingly while I spam the only 1 usable sorcery in the game.
Some bosses yea are just continuous spam of attack and u just go guess I'll die. Or fucking crucible knights type enemies that just keep their shit shield up forever then stab you real quick before putting the shield back up and I'm here like 8D
Btw yea the death debuff doesn't curse you just... Insta kills you like ds3.
anon this is gonna be a LONG response cause you just gave me a valid reason to ramble for 50 paragraphs so i will
i currently work with a str/fai build and will probably make at least 1 more character with a dex/int build. i had no idea full int builds were so stronk but im thinking of trying one out at some point.
Srs analysis below:
Honestly I'm just a little sad with the state of enemy encounters in the game. Limgrave, weeping peninsula & liurnia largely have the same enemy encounters in the open world with very little variation, and a Lot of the mobs I've encountered up till now rely on being in a group or homing attacks.
Find a soldier in the wild? He blows his horn and gets his buddies. Find a dog or rat? It barks to alert everyone around, which I'm honestly less likely to care about because while theyve been around since demons souls.
Those misbegotten cunts see you and blow their horn and every single one of them comes running.
That room in Godricks castle with that one exile soldier who blows his horn and then all the sleepy dudes stand up.
The courtyard where theyre all heaped up
Even the fucking bears in those woods
Walk around in liurnia only for some weird bent over dude to appear and spawn 10 more and they all use homing missiles as well
The cartwheeling frogs
Those dudes in the academy courtyard where its like oh theres one blue guy just kidding theres 15 now
And now I've entered Caelid and theres these amazingly cool looking big dog enemies and all they do is fucking bark and alert the rest again oh and also theres soldiers again I guess. And the frustrating thing is that, aside from the runebears, pretty much all of the above enemies are complete pushovers on their own.
I don't feel like I'm fighting enemies with interesting attack patterns or who pose a serious threat, I feel like I'm in that one room in pokemon gold/silver/crystal where every line you cross spawns 3 incredibly weak rocket trainers.
I get that this is necessary when you include spirit summons in the game but I'd rather they just balanced it a little bit? The mechanics arent bad on their own it's just that I really don't like how many of the fights seem to rely on it. It's like almost every fight relies on everything but making the enemies interesting to fight in order to make them hard.
Rather than making the casters have more health & more interesting moves, just sticking 5 of them in a small hallway so you get to avoid 5 missiles at once should make them hard. Boss fight being 2 enemies that die way too quickly? Add dragon rot to the floor! The dog and bird enemies twice your size die in 4 hits? Just make them alert the rest! Stick a big knight with the same moveset as all the other ones in a small corridor to make him hard!
Maybe it's because they made the more interesting enemies all field bosses but to me it just feels like their actual non-field boss enemy pool is super boring because of that. The erdtree avatar doesn't need to be a field boss. The bell bearing hunter doesn't need to be either, though he does need to be tuned down. Grafted Scion? Seriously? Why are some of the pumpkin heads bosses? The mariner guys, too.
Siofria was the first New new area i encountered I feel and its like. theres a million rock men and you're like "oh shit I wonder what these do" and the answer is jack shit. Theyre only hard because theres 20 of them on one staircase. Then you go out and those snipers 2 shot you from a million miles away with their homing arrows that are literally impossible to dodge.
I'm only at caelid but it feels like there's no difficulty progression in the enemies. Everything is either a pushover or two taps you, there is no inbetween.
I'm sure the other big non-optional bosses are gonna be good. Godrick was amazing but following it up with rennala after all I listed above just left a sour taste in my mouth cause her boss fight is just...unfun imo
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HELLO BITCHES my friend refuses to read the TLH short stories and ive given up trying so im summarizing it on the one long format social media we share so uh. read if you want to im not sure what anyone else would get out of this the first story is so fucking depressing HELLO
@mintminao3 i can’t believe im fucking rereading all of this it’s literally the foundation for why i dont like these characters and you’re making me reread it this should be considered a federal crime
1. CAST LONG SHADOWS
(this is a jem pov book bestie get it together will is mentioned literally a trillion times HELLO)
- jem is at the shadowmarket. premise of the book. matthew shows up and calls him uncle jem and kisses him on the cheek and i break down all over again
- flashback to the academy in 1899 (i forgot how OLD they are wtf)
- alastair says something really bitchy about will and tessa i forgot how rotten he was oh my god 😭
- “to everyone’s surprise” thomas gets him to stop 🤪 you dont care about this but i DO
- theres so much detail here you’re killing me this is an absolute nightmare im leaving so much juicy shit out YOURE THE WORST
- so uh. you know how ive devoted my life to our lord and saviour alastair carstairs. um. it gets a bit embarrassing here. just a tad. BUT YOULL UNDERSTAND SOON I PROMISSEEEEEE
- matthew goes looking for thomas who’s always with alastair and finds them both.
- matthew calls alastair a “low snaky serpent.” alastair calls matthew “mother hen fairchild” and then says he’ll be a lovely wife one day which i KNOW is an insult but i cant take it seriously hes just calling him a malewife it makes me giggle
- then matthew just BUSTS OUT the physical insults with an absolute unit of “has no kind soul thought to inform you that your hairstyle is, to use the gentlest words available to me, ill - advised? a friend? your papa? does nobody care enough to to prevent you from making a spectacle of yourself? or are you simply too busy perpetuating acts of evil upon the innocent to bother about your unfortunate appearance?”
- i mean. um. whew. for reference alastair’s hair is currently blond unless proven otherwise his introduction in TFTSA mentions him having “light hair” aka not the ink black he was born with.
- then alastair tells thomas to leave and pulls out the “women cant be good consuls blah blah blah” no one cares, this is the important bit, he goes on to, rather cruelly, inform matthew of a rumour floating around the academy that henry isn’t matthews father. gideon and charlotte work very closely together, and since matthew was born AFTER henry’s paralyzation, there’s a rumour that GIDEON is actually math’s birth father, esp since matthews got a mop of gold on his head rather than the red or brown of his parents. “henry fairchild is not your father” spat alastair. “you are gideon lightwoods bastard. everyone knows it but you.”
- (theres way too much dialogue to quote that whole scene)
- then matthew slaps alastair which like. deserved.
- its up to you to form an opinion, personally i don’t give a shit that alastair’s going around with this rumour hes like 16 in high school and it’s everyone’s god given right to slander politicians charlotte and gideon are no exceptions but i think the manner of speaking was cruel and an apology is in order, matthew was a little shit as well but alastair kinda pulled out the nukes. math would’ve found out eventually but alastair was kinda a bitch about it
- anyway back to the present
- jem lets math call him uncle and math “glows” i want to bottle him up and keep him safe ugh
- talk of will james tessa and lucie you miss out on sucks to suck loser
- … he gets a truth potion from a faerie.
- math goes back home, gideon comes over the next morning, math has an internal emotional crisis, yadda yadda, NO IM NOT CRYING AT HIS REFUSAL TO THINK OF HIM AS AN UNCLE AND THE PAIN THIS POOR BOY IS GOING THROUGH UH UH
- OKAY UM I COMPLELTEY FORGOT ABOUT THIS BUT UH (hes talking to himself in the mirror) “you may be a waste of space in a waistcoat” he told matthew fairchild “but at least your waistcoat is fantastic” NOW IM ACTUALLY FULL ON CRYONG
- also math has a dog named mr. oscar wilde this is critical to the story
- james content you’re missing out on loser
- “alastair loathly worm carstairs”
- “later matthew would look back and remember it as his last happy day”
- “alastair god-help-us carstairs”
- just. please read this.
Christopher had the audacity to look surprised when Matthew began to belabor him mightily about the head and face. "Watch the test tubes!" cried Thomas.' "There is a hole in the floor at the Academy that Professor Fell calls the Christopher Lightwood Chasm” "I suppose I hate some people," offered James. "Augustus Pounceby. Lavinia Whitelaw. Alastair Carstairs.” Matthew regarded his very own parabatai with deep approval. "This is why we are chosen warrior partners, because we share such a perfect bond of sympathy. Come to me, Jamie, that we might share a manly embrace." He made incursions upon Jamie's person. James thwacked him over the head with his book. It was a large book. "Betrayed," said Matthew, writhing prone upon the floor. "Is that why you insist on carrying about enormous tomes everywhere you go, that you might visit violence upon innocent persons? Done to death by my best friend- my heart's brother--my own dear parabatai. He snagged James around the waist and brought him crashing to the floor for the second time that day. James hit Matthew with the book again, then subsided, leaning his shoulder against Matthew's. They were both thoroughly rumpled, but Matthew did not mind being rumpled for a good cause.
- thomas defends alastair. says that alastair regrets the prank, able to tell because of how uncomfortable he gets when its brought up. also points out that alastair behaviour is partly brought on by jealousy, like how all the fathers came to the academy after the prank, will came running to james’s side, whereas no one came for alastair. then matthew pulls out this absolute horrifier of calling alastair a curse of a son and its understandable that a father would want to see him as less as possible. thomas also tells them not to listen to the bs alastair says when hes mad bc its usually nonesense.
- more emotional stuff between the family you miss.
- math puts the potion in the scones. charlotte eats one. she falls ill almost immediately. jem is called. (my sister just got home and now people are around me im trying so hard not to cry) its revealed that charlotte was expecting, and hoping for a little girl. matthew is beyond horrified. gideon has been making sure she was safe at the clave meetings which is why he was around more. the baby was going to be named after henry’s most beloved great aunt. matthew has her hair. henry caresses math’s head. he wishes his father would pick up a knife and slash his throat.
“it was not the faerie woman’s fault or alastair’s or the fault of any other soul. … He was not a fool. He was a villain”
“He laid his cheek against the cold floor and refused to let himself weep again. he knew he could not be forgiven”
ill do the other one later im after crying a concerning amount i cant handle anna right now
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That Damn Sex Pollen - Part 2
Pairing : Steve x Reader / Bucky x Reader
Words: 1800+
Warnings: Mild smut / swearing... nothing too bad!
A/N: Found part 2 in my drafts so here it is! There will be a final part to follow.
It had been just over 2 weeks since the Sex Pollen incident with Bucky, the incident that led to us having mind blowing sex and confessing to feelings we'd been hiding for a while. This wouldn't have been a problem if i wasn't already engaged to his best friend Steve Rogers!! Aka Captain America!!
Now don't get me wrong i love Steve, i love Steve more than I've ever loved anyone.... but i cant deny that i don't love Bucky as well! Since the moment Steve introduced me to his long lost best friend there was something between us, we had never admitted to our feelings or acted on them in anyway we kept it to ourselves. I had decided to push my feelings for Bucky aside and give Steve my everything.....That was until that damn sex pollen!!
Bucky volunteered to go on a mission with Sam and Nat the day after we got back to the compound and had been avoiding me ever since they got back a week ago, he would even leave the room as soon as i walked in!
Steve was currently in a meeting with Tony so i headed down to the gym hoping id see Bucky and we could talk about what happened and try and clear the air, if he kept avoiding me the way he was then Steve would get suspicious!
I walked into the gym and saw Bucky lifting weights in the corner, i also saw the second he noticed me enter the room!! The weights were dropped and he started grabbing his things to leave.
"Bucky will you stop!" I said rushing over to him "you cant keep running away from me!"
"I just think its best to put some distance between us Y/N" he mumbled still avoiding eye contact.
"So you don't think we should talk about what happened in that warehouse?"
"No. No i don't! I think we need to forget all about that!"
"Fine! It never happened! But you need to get your shit together Buck! If you keep leaving every room i walk into Steve will know somethings wrong! You and me always got along before.... you were always hanging out with us and now? This is the first time I've spoken to you in 2 weeks!"
"I cant sit around and watch you and Steve together okay! It hurts too much.... I'm trying doll, i really am. I just need some time and space"
"Buck...."
"Don't" he said simply shaking his head keeping his distance from me.
"Okay..... i miss you" i told him truthfully as i backed away towards the door, Bucky gave me the smallest smile and nodded in agreement.
I was sitting on the sofa watching a movie when Steve walked in a couple hours later.
"Hey sweetheart" he smiled leaning over the arm of the sofa and pressing his lips to mine.
"Hey babe, how'd your meeting go?" I asked grabbing his hand and pulling him down on the sofa with me. He chuckled but quickly settled down and pulled me into his arms.
"It was okay, just going over some details of tomorrows mission"
"Who's going?"
"Me, Buck, Wanda and Vision"
"I get the day off! Woo hoo" i joked as my hand moved under the hem of Steve's tshirt, my fingers stroking over the smooth patch of skin under his belly button.
"You fancy going for a run with me?" He asked as i felt his fingers stroke the back of my neck.
"Not at all" i laughed "i just wanna stay here with you and watch a movie"
"You keep that up we're gonna be doing more than watching a movie" he mumbled looking down at where my hand was still stroking.
"Oh really?.... you like this huh?"
"Y/N...." Steve said before shaking his head chuckling.
"What?..... i like your happy trail"
"You do?"
"Mmhmmm...." my hand slowly stroked over the area again before slipping into the band of his sweat pants and finding his already hard cock "you do like that!" I teased as my hand wrapped around him and slowly started stroking.
"Jesus..... baby that feels amazing" he said as his head fell back against the sofa.
"See, isnt this better than going for a run?"
"Im not gonna argue with that!" He laughed before pulling me closer and kissing me hard. I quickly found myself straddling Steve, dry humping the huge bulge in his trousers as we made out like teenagers. I pulled his t-shirt off and trailed kisses up his chest to his neck... biting at that area where his neck and shoulder joined. Steve had one hand under my shirt fondling a breast whilst the other gripped my hip and rocked me against his hard cock.
"I need to be inside you" he mumbled in my ear before nipping at my earlobe.
"Please Steve...." i begged reaching into his sweat pants to free his cock.
There was a quick knock at the front door to our apartment before it opened
"Hey Steve, you ready...." Bucky was saying as he walked through the door.
"Oh shit!.... im sorry!" He said quickly turning to leave.
"Fuck!....Sorry pal i completely forgot, i got a little distracted" Steve chuckled "can we finish this later?" He said quietly to me and i nodded before climbing off his lap and heading to the bedroom.
"Its fine, we can go tomorrow" Bucky shrugged looking very uncomfortable.
"No lets go" Steve said standing up and grabbing his shirt from the floor.
"You might want to change your pants...." i heard Bucky say and turned to see him scratching his head awkwardly. Steve looked down to see the wet patch from where we had been grinding against each other moments before and blushed "oh shit, guess you're right. Give me 5".
After finishing a training session with Nat i headed back to mine and Steve's room for a shower. When i walked in i was surprised to see Steve's go bag next to the door, the shower running.... they got back early from that mission.
"Steve?" I called out as i made my way to the bathroom.
"Hey sweetheart" i heard him call over the running water.
"You're back early, did something go wrong or...."
"It went fine, easy mission"
"Thats good. You mind if i join you? I just got done training with Nat I'm a mess" i said stripping out of my sweaty work out clothes and tossing them in the dirty wash basket.
"Its all yours" he said stepping out and grabbing his towel "I've got to go to a debrief with Tony real quick but I'm all yours after. We have some catching up to do"
"Mmm i look forward to it" i smiled reaching up to give him a much needed kiss, i had missed him so much while he was gone. Before getting into the shower I placed a pair of sleep shorts and a cami on the closed lid of the toilet ready to put on once i was done.
Steve went to get dressed while i showered, i was rinsing out my shampoo when he stuck his head in letting me know he was leaving for his debrief.
"Be back soon, love you" he said before rushing off.
When i was finished i stepped out the shower reaching for my towel to find it was gone!
"Are you fucking kidding me!" I moaned under my breath, the clothes i had set out were also missing! WTF!!
Oh well it wasnt like i couldnt walk around naked, id just have to make a dash for another towel!
I threw open the bathroom door and was just walking to the bedroom when the front door opened.
"Steve you ass! You took my towel and my clothes??"
"Ermmm...i..."
My head whipped round at the sound of Bucky's voice!!
"Bucky!? Shit! God I'm so sorry i thought you were Steve!" I quickly tried to cover myself as i rushed into my room and grabbed my robe, once it was secured i went back to see why Bucky was here.
"What are you doing here?"
"Steve asked me to cone grab a file he forgot..."
"He did? When?"
"Called me just now as i was heading down to the debrief"
"Why would he tell you to come in here.... he knew i was showering and he'd taken my clothes...."
"I have no idea, can i just grab that file and i'll be on my way..."
"Sure".
I sat down on the sofa rubbing my wet hair with a towel while Bucky disappeared into Steve's office for what he needed.
"Hey doll?...." he called from the office.
I smiled at the familiar nickname i hadn't heard in weeks.
"Yeah Buck?"
"There's no files in here"
"You're sure?..."
"Yeah, where else would he keep them?"
"Thats where it would be"
"There's no file in there" i heard Steve's voice and turned to see him leaning against the front door smirking.
"Steve.... what the fuck?"
"Im sick of this tension between the two of you, i miss us all hanging out together"
"So you take my clothes and send your pal here for a non existent file in hope's he catches me naked??! Are you mad?" I shouted shaking my head at him.
"You set us up?" Bucky asked appearing in the hallway.
"Guilty" Steve shrugged "enjoy the show Buck?"
"I don't get it.... why....?"
"Because I'm sick of you both pretending theres no feelings between you"
"He's lost his damn mind" i got up to walk away but Steve grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me close.
"I know what happened in that warehouse between the two of you"
My eyes went wide as i looked over at Bucky, he looked just as shocked so i knew he hadn't told him.
"Bucky didn't say a word sweetheart i saw the CCTV..... audio included" he smirked.
"Steve.... it wasn't like we had much choice that plant...."
"Oh i know baby, i know exactly what that plant was"
"You've known all this time and said nothing?"
"It was you, you put it there didn't you?" Bucky accused Steve "why the fuck would you do that Steve!?"
"I had to do something! The two of you are so loyal you never would've hurt me and acted on your feelings.... not without a little push".
Before i knew what i was doing my hand connected with Steve's cheek.
"You had no right!"
"Tell me you don't want him" Steve pointed at his best friend.
"No"
"See...." Steve smirked looking smug.
"Right now you're the one i don't want!" I said through gritted teeth and stormed into the bedroom slamming the door behind me and flipping the lock for effect, i knew it wouldn't keep Steve out but it made me feel better.
Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields @turtoix @dottirose
#reader insert#chris evans#sebastian stan#bucky barnes#steve rogers#chris evans x reader#bucky barnes x reader
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Easter TAG
@womble1 gift for @janetm74
Blanket
Precious
Crown
It was one of those days, one in/one out, a continuous rotation of Tracys coming and going. Virgil had just made it back from the arctic, scooping up Thunderbird 4 from its own mission on the way home. Scott and Alan glanced up from the desk where they had been conversing with John’s hologram. He should have seen it coming by the way their eyes adopted that concerned crinkling around the edges, really highlighting the similarities between the two of them despite the age gap.
“What?” his gaze danced from one pair of blue eyes to the other, “what’s wrong?” He glanced down at his shirt in case he had buttoned it up wonky or smeared something spectacular down it without noticing. Coming up blank he was back to requesting more info from those present
“Seriously - What?”
Scott stood up from behind the desk, his hands clasped in front of him like a politician about to deliver a tough message.
“Well don’t take this the wrong way but, well…” he dithered around the sentence as if not quite sure which way to best approach it.
“You look like Shit Virg!” Alan cut in, having no such qualms.
Virgil pulled his arms across his chest defensively, it was a bit harsh coming from someone who regularly slept in their clothes.
“Thanks, I love you too, you little scrote!” he scowled across at the brat.
“OK, language. Both of you!” Scott waded into the fray, holding his hands up to placate both parties. “But honestly Virgil, you do look like you could do with a rest.” this just got a derisive shrug and an unintelligible grunt in response. “You look frozen, are you coming down with something?” Scott advanced towards him, stretching out his arm to lay a palm on Virgil’s forehead, but Virgil saw it coming and side stepped away from the advancing hand.
“I’m fine, it was the arctic, it was cold, big shock, quit pawing at me.” Even as he said it, Virgil knew he was being needlessly snappy, but the damage was done and he saw Alan and Scott exchange a look.
“Ok, fair point. Alan and I were just on our way out, so why don’t you just take a seat while we go and sort this one out.” Scott was talking slowly, moving in carefully and steering Virgil to a couch like he was a scared animal that might bolt or lash out. “It’s just a little support job for a research station, we’ll be back in no time. Here, have a blanket, I can literally see you shivering.” blanket deployed, Alan and Scott backed away, while Virgil remained scowling on the sofa, muttering about how he was absolutely fine, but tellingly he didn’t move from his loosely constructed blanket nest. He must have zoned out slightly, as the next thing he was aware of was the familiar rumblings of Thunderbird two launching and he hastily pulled up the comms array over the coffee table to give Scott a piece of his mind as Gordon strolled into the room.
“Scott! You took my bird! What the hell?!”
“Hello to you too! And I think you’ll find they are all International Rescue vehicles, besides we need the Pods - and before you start, no, you were not in fit state to fly. Anyway, it’s a perfect chance for Alan to get some more flight hours in’’ as Alan’s face popped up alongside wearing a massive grin.
“Hey Virgil! The research station is in the middle of nowhere, there’s no way I’ll scratch it - I promise!” The little sod was enjoying winding his brother up far too much, they both knew he was a competent pilot, but that wasn’t the point. Virgil huffed and shuffled about a bit, wrapping his arms around himself, maybe he was a little cold but he wasn’t going to admit it. Too late though he had been spotted.
“Seriously Virgil, wrap yourself up, I can see you shivering from here” Scott's worry mode had been engaged, even as he got steadily further away, there was no escaping it. “Gordon keep an eye on him will you, I think he might be coming down with something”
“Sure think Capitano!” Gordon punctuated this with a sloppy little salute as the connection blinked out. “Come on then big guy, let’s get you tucked in nice and snug” he threatened as he advanced with malicious intent.
“For the last time, I am absolutely fine! But fine, look I’m using the blasted blanket!” he sulkily pulled the blanket tightly around himself until he resembled a giant burrito “Happy now!” he demanded with a scowl.
“O…..K, I’m going to leave you and your mood to get better acquainted, you want a coffee?” Gordon went to leave in the direction of the kitchen, barely resisting the urge to laugh at the image Virgil was presenting.
“Yes” came the somewhat deflated reply “……please” all the fight evaporating as quickly as Thunderbird ones vapor trails.
By the time Gordon had navigated Virgil’s needlessly complicated coffee machine and made his way back to the lounge, the blanket burrito had toppled sideways on the sofa and appeared to be asleep. Gordon began to think that maybe Scott was right about the predictions of ill-health on the horizon. He was just wondering if he ought to reposition the blankets a bit since he couldn’t see Virgil’s face and there was a distinct lack of the usual snoring, when a call from Lady Penelope came through on the central display.
“Ahh Good afternoon Gordon,” came Penelope’s clipped accent
“Howdie Lady P! What can we do for you today?” Gordon spun around, his blanketed brother instantly forgotten.
“Oh, it’s nothing urgent today thankfully, I was just……..” she faltered distracted by something “Forgive me Gordon, but I have to ask, what exactly is that behind you?
Gordon spared a brief glance back at the blanket pile that presumably still contained his brother.
“Oh that, Virg is just sulking because Alan took his ride and so he’s proving that he’s not cold…..yeah it makes sense somehow” he petered out.
“Oh I see,” Penelope takes this in her stride as she does all things, “Should it be glowing though Gordon?”
“Glowing?!” he jumps slightly “Oh no, he hasn’t” with no further preamble Gordon dived towards the fleece fortress, tugging at a corner. “Come on Virgil, hand it over, I know you’ve got it in there” He found a gap and plunged his hand inside the fabric, reaching towards the glowing epicentre.
“Noooooooo, gerroff!” it was muffled, but it was clear that Virgil was not going to give in quietly. “It’s MINE! My precious! You can’t have it!” He wriggled about madly thrashing to try and get away from Gordon, who scrapped as well as any younger sibling in history.
“Give it up Virg! They’re fine!” the “accidental” application of Gordon’s knee to unmentionable regions resulted in a muffled “ooof” and a sudden reduction in the amount of resistance. Gordon was able to extract his prize and held the remote piloting device up in triumph for Lady Penelope to see.
“He’s always like this when they take Two out without him, he just hovers over the remote controls, adjusting things. Alan thought Two was haunted the first time it happened, I’m not sure he doesn’t still partly believe it still is now.”
Lady Penelope hid a giggle demurely with one hand “Don’t you think you ought to check he’s ok in there, he doesn’t appear to be moving” she asked.
Gordon nudged the immobile lump with his knee “ you’re alright in there aren’t you big guy?” he asked, before sitting himself on top of the blanket mound with all the stately composure of a king ascending to his throne.
Theres an unintelligible groan before Virgil wriggled enough to free his head from the fabric confines “Stupid Fat Hobbit! Ughhh”
“Oh yeah, he’s fine,” Gordon confirmed, a megawatt smile breaking his regal composure “He’s just banned from any more Lord of the Rings binges.” Gordon turned to look down at his brother and affectionately ruffled his hair, making it stand out at all angles like a rumpled crown.
At this additional indignity, Virgil put all his remaining energy into a final abrupt wriggle that sent Gordon Toppling from his perch “Get off me pipsqueak!”
“Even the smallest person can change the course of the future!” Gordon proclaimed from his place on the floor just before a cushion was dumped on his head.
“Have you lost the plot Gordon?!” another pillow was dumped on him to punctuate the remark.
“Not all those who wander are lost!” could just be heard through the growing pile of cushions
They both seemed to have forgotten Lady Penelope's holographic presence floating above them. She coughed gently to draw their attention.
“On that note I think I will leave you both too it, I’ll call back later to speak to Scott,” this drew their eyes away from the developing pillow fight. She cleared her throat delicately once more, gave a little smile and said “Maybe I should quote Frodo Baggins and remind you “It is useless to meet revenge with revenge: it will heal nothing.” before you damage the soft furnishings any further.” and with that parting wisdom her image blinked out of existence.
“Did she just?….” asked Gordon
“Yes, yes I think she did” said Virgil, shaking his head slightly, either in disbelief or despair.
“What a GEEK!” snorted Gordon, still half-heartedly trying to free himself from the scatter cushion landslide. Then, resigning himself to his current location, he flopped back into the pillows, letting out a happy little sigh. “She really is perfect isn’t she?” Virgil decided the only sensible response to this was to deposit a final cushion onto the top of Gorgon’s head, with enough force to liberate a couple of feathers from its confines.
By the time Alan and Scott arrived back, with a thankfully scratch free Thunderbird Two, Gordon and Virgil had fallen asleep two films into yet another Lord of the Rings rewatch marathon. Gordon had nested on the floor on a mound of slightly battered looking scatter cushions and Virgil had reinstated the blanket burrito and only his head was free from the blankety confines.
#thunderbirds#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds 2004#thunderbirds 1965#thunderbirds fanfiction#Scott Tracy#Virgil Tracy#Gordon Tracy#John Tracy#alan tracy#submission
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The Show Must Go On! Chapter 4
- A Youtuber AU you didn’t want and didn’t need -
Hisoka Morrow, italian Makeup Youtuber, enjoys his life in the comfort and occasional drama of his profession. But nothing brings more drama into his life than the eldest son of the Zoldyck fashion magazine empire.
Meanwhile, aspiring australian Twitch Streamer Gon Freecs forms a special bond to a Speedrunner commonly going by "Kil".
Chapter 4 “Shifting Sand Land” out now!
AO3 Link
Illumi had always feared that one day he might inherit any of his mother's illnesses. It wasn't out of the question, and he considered himself lucky that no ailment had reared its head so far into his life.
"Do I look as good as how I feel, darling?"
Until now.
Suddenly it felt like years of sickness had caught up with him, spun his head around and made his stomach curl.
It was a coincidence that this sickness would appear the second he laid eyes on Hisoka, wearing the suit that was fitted just for him.
It was a coincidence that he looked like all those marble statues in museums, sculpted in the image of gods and lovers.
It was a coincidence that this sickness could be swallowed and repressed like any measly feeling he had ever encountered.
"I told you to wear a shirt, maggot."
And the symptoms disappeared.
But the disease didn't.
----------------------------------------------------
Gon: Killua?
It had been quite a while since Killua had responded to any of Gons messages. Well, it had been about 2 hours. But compared to their normal pace of slinging messages at each other any passing minute, this felt like an eternity to the young boy. He wondered if he had done anything to upset his friend, though their last conversation was just usual banter about breakfast, snacks, and the new battle pass.
He fidgeted in his seat a bit more, the classwork Aunt Mito had supplied him with almost entirely forgotten. The now broken routine made his bones itch, but the attempt of any distraction just made him fear he'd miss when Killua would finally come back.
So, he waited.
He even started half-heartedly filling out the math quiz that had been taunting him from the corner of the desk, though he always glanced back at the computer screen.
Question number 27: (X-3)²-25= 0
Ping
Gon wasn't sure what to do first; Be thankful that finally Killua replied or be thankful that he found an escape from this hell called math.
Kil: Yo.
GON: Hey!!! Are you okay? :O
Kil: Yeah, whats up?
He was obviously not okay. But Gon knew that pressing the issue wouldn’t make things better, though if he pretended like everything was alright would just be an issue bottled up.
GON: Do you wanna play some Fortnite Duos maybe? We can try grinding for the new tiger costume you like :D
Kil: cant
Kil: my mom took my fucking PC away in attempt to become mother of the year
GON: :( im sorry!! But im sure she’ll give it back soon, right?
Kil: fat chance, I probably have to wait till my brother comes back from his stupid trip
Gon tilted his head in thought. This has probably been the longest Killua had ever talked about his family with him. Up to this point it had only been passing remarks about siblings whose actions and personalities melted into each other due to lack of discernible unique traits, and that his family was rich.
GON: How long is that going to be?
GON: Maybe your mom will calm down and change her mind <:(
Kil: lmao, maybe if id actually study now shed be satisfied enough
Kil: but theres no way in hell im going to give her what she wants
Kil: ESPECIALLY NOW
GON: So whatre you going to do??
Kil: idk
Kil: talk to you and think about how to set fire to this place?
The young boy smiled, though for some reason he could feel a knot tighten in his chest.
GON: How about only talking to me for now?
And they talked. For a couple of hours, they talked about Gons new streaming schedule, about how he wanted to have one dedicated day in the week solely for collaborations. They talked about a new exploit for Super Mario Sunshine that could potentially scrap 10 seconds off of the current World record if executed correctly. They talked about how Leorios medical-student VLOG channel had been trending again after he made a hypocritical video about the damages of energy drinks.
Kil: he could have at least cleaned the infamous pyramid out of frame…
GON: Haha he said that in hindsight too
GON: But I think it was his boyfriend who finally made him clean it up -v-“
Kil: must be nice to have someone living with you who gives a shit
Kil: I think at this point the housekeeper hasn’t even touched the minefield that’s my brothers room in months
GON: It can’t be that bad :”D
Kil: you bet?
Kil: what do you think, how much chip dust is needed for an anime figure to come to life?
The mental image of Killuas home slowly shifted in Gons mind again. A large mansion, bedrooms as big as some apartments, with individual housekeepers for everyone. And one room dedicated to imitating a postapocalyptic anime merch shop.
And somewhere in that large mansion, is a room probably equipped with a messy bed, a (now empty) desk and gaming chair, maybe some shelves with books and games. In the middle of it a slightly blurry figure, maybe a bit shorter than Gon, pale skin and messy hair and piercing bright eyes.
He had seen pictures of Killua, a handful of selfies taken at his desk, one picture his sister (who he’d mention the least from his mysterious family) had taken of him in front of a rose bush. And no matter how dimly lit the picture would be, or out of focus, or taken from a distance; His eyes were always the first thing Gon would focus on. At first, he was convinced that he was using a filter, there’s no way someone in real life would have eyes like that.
But Killua did. Killua hid electricity behind those eyes, dangerous and yet enticing, beaming with a life energy that can barely be contained. Gon had heard poems and songs about blue eyes, though none of them ever came close to describing eyes like these. Or the feeling Gon would get from looking at them, tingling in his fingertips, making him smile and giggle and stomp his feet. Kind of like getting a victory royale.
Gon has other friends besides Killua. But none ever made him feel the same way when they talked. He craved no one’s presence as much as he craved Killuas. And something inside him felt the constant urge to tell Killua that, to tell him how much he meant to him, what’s so amazing about him, how he didn’t want this friendship to end.
But that’s just not something friends would tell each other unprompted, and it’s not something that could easily told to Killua, who danced around the word “friends” as if it were a dangerous animal.
So, he didn’t say anything.
Kil: gon?
Kil: did you fall asleep?
GON: No haha, I was just thinking about how huge your house must be!!
Kil: yeah its huge and ugly, sometimes way too loud, sometimes really fucking quiet
Kil: im sure it must be nicer in your home
GON: I mean, it is pretty nice, but its also a little lonely I think
GON: All my friends live closer to the city, so usually no one is around to just come outside and hang out :^T
Kil: if I could id fly over right now and you could show me all the gross spiders that rule your continent with 8 iron fists
GON: They aren’t gross!! Spiders are really fun once you get to know them :^D
GON: And you know, you’d always be welcome here, Aunt Mito would be thrilled to meet you ^^
And Gon meant it. Though Killua never let too much slip of his family life and surroundings, Gon could tell it was trouble, and he deeply wished he could give Killua even just a one-day break from whatever went down in that mansion.
Kil: since we are both home schooled, we wouldnt even need to wait for summer break or anything
GON: Right :^D And its not like either of us are big on studying either ^^”
Gon glanced briefly at the disregarded Math work and shuddered.
Kil: you mean it, right?
Kil: if I were to text you some time that im at an airport and im coming over, you wouldnt let me be stranded somewhere on your prison continent, right?
GON: Of course not!!!
GON: … but I’d prefer it if you give a heads up so I can clean my room :^D
Kil: thanks gon, I appreciate it
Kil: i appreciate you
Gon felt his heartrate skyrocket. Of course he’d let Killua stay, even if he rang at his door without any prior notice. Because even if it goes unsaid, Killua was his friend. Maybe even his best friend. And he’d do anything to keep him safe, or to just give him one minute that he doesn’t have to think about his family. He wanted to see those blue eyes reflect the Australian sun, free of worry and tension.
GON: I appreciate you, too
#hisoillu#killugon#Hunter X Hunter#killua zoldyck#gon freecss#hisoka marrow#illumi zoldyck#fanfiction#hxh fanfic#yeah this fic isnt dead fsdjgh
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wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142
i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon
pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that?
xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?
“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse!
Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.
okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights
“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen
Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit.
“DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now
“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!”
“I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh
i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit
“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.” CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad
shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting
“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity
“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...
also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!
“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17
“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY
“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on
didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on
The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something
quan yizhen..... i get u
lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well. okay now to my current notes
“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic
“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…”
Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:
“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken
“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS.
“I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo
“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???
and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny
“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values
“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho
*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD
mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back
“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent
“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;
“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical
also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....
also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....
xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help
“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3
waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her
“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!
okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature
this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do
amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on
“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ”
“...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.”
“After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart”
“Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...
oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think
#tgcf liveblog#so close and yet so far......#i keep hearing tell of this fabled book 4 i must press onwards......#but now im sleepy.....#mouse mumbles
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