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flowerandblood · 9 months

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The Impossible Choice (12)

[ Aemond • Targaryen x Baratheon! • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, smut, angst, domination, murder ]

[description: Aemond comes to Storm’s End to choose his future consort. However, Lord Borros Baratheon presents him with only four of his five daughters. Being attached to his youngest child, he does not want to marry her. The prince, however, thwarts his and her plans with his decision. This is slow burn, with a lot of dark angst and sexual tension. (Anon Request)]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

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Ever since she learned from her servant how her husband had lost his eye, the thought of Luke Velaryon arriving with his family in King's Landing had filled her with dread. She did not speak of it aloud, but the tension in the keep was growing thicker, her husband was no longer able to hide his murderous thirst from her.

She knew that no amount of her words and reassurances would calm him down, he was burning like a living fire that could not be extinguished. All she could do was try not to ignite it any further, to cut off the air supply to it, so that it would extinguish itself.

Their close-ups were more brutal, more intense, as if he had fallen into a circle of his own weakness and rage at the same time. He never deliberately hurt her, but the thrusts of his hips were so fast and sharp, rooting into her so deeply, that she ran out of breath and was unable to extract anything more than gasping and moaning, coming hard, nearly screaming along with him from almost painful pleasure.

Afterwards he collapsed on top of her, panting heavily, putting his large hand, rough from holding the sword on hers, intertwining their fingers and begged her, whispering quietly in her ear, to forgive him.

He never heard a word of complaint from her.

She felt a strange kind of satisfaction at the thought that he needed her so desperately. That her touch, the warmth of her inside, her moans, were necessary for him to keep his mind sober.

To keep from going mad.

The day of Princess Rhaenyra's arrival along with her family and Vaemond Velaryon was inexorably approaching, and a great shadow was growing in her husband's eye that made her insides twist.

He surprised her when the evening before, as she was reading a book, sitting on his bed in her nightgown, he spoke to her suddenly, sitting by the fireplace, thoughtful.

"Kostā laodigon iā zaldrīzes daor. Do you know what that means?" He asked casually, not looking at her but into the fire, his face expressionless, almost indifferent, his fingers moving involuntarily on the armrest.

She closed her book, swallowing heavily, surprised. She knew that it was a sentence said in the language of Old Valyria, her husband's ancestors.

He sometimes used words that she didn't understand while he fucked her, panting hard in her ear, digging his fingertips into the soft skin of her hips.

She tried to decipher what he was saying by perusing the large dictionaries from the keep's collections in his absence. The only words she could translate were:

ābrazȳrys wife

dōna sweet

ñuhon mine

She decided that she didn't need to know any more, embarrassed by her discovery, the heat in her body spreading through her veins.

In the meantime, she also read about some other words. She thought that she recognised them, but she wasn't sure.

"I think… zalidries, means dragon, and daor means no." She muttered, fearing that she was mistaken after all, and that her words would frustrate him.

He, however, threw her a surprised look, cocking his head as if with curiosity, squinting his eye, leaning his head against the backrest.

"Zaldrīzes, dōna ābrazȳrys. Repeat." He hummed lowly, clearly pleased that she had taken an interest in the language that he used without his influence.

She felt warmth on her cheeks as she heard the words she knew and lowered her gaze, embarrassed.

"Zaldrīzes." She said softly, lifting her gaze to him, and he murmured contentedly.

"You can't steal a dragon." He whispered, and she froze.

She twisted in her seat, feeling uneasy, seeing that he was looking at her intently. She knew that what he would say or do would be very important.

Clearly he couldn't take the tension anymore and needed to get at least some of it out of him.

She couldn't discourage him.

She did not speak, listening to him in concentration, her heart pounding like mad.

Her husband lowered his gaze, hitting the armrest a few times with his finger, deeply immersed in his thoughts. She knew that his mind was not with her now, but somewhere else completely, in his thoughts and memories.

"A dragon is not a slave. It cannot be forced to obey. It must be tamed." He said matter-of-factly, as if he were explaining to her the laws that ruled the world, some complete obviousness.

She nodded, wanting to show that she understood, involuntarily tightening her hand on the material of her nightgown, feeling drops of sweat on her back. Suddenly he looked at her, his gaze terrifying her − cold, intense, piercing to the core.

"Do you know how I lost my eye?"

Silence.

She felt her heart in her throat. She wanted to lie, because she was afraid that if he found out that she had learned it from her servant, he would dismiss Lyanna.

However, she feared that she would reveal something in her face, that he would catch her on the lie, and that would cause him to back down, to lose his trust for her.

"Yes."

Silence.

A long one.

He looked at her, something in his face changed, as if he had gone pale, she felt herself start to breathe faster, her muscles all tense.

"Who told you?" He asked in a low, menacing voice, looking just as he had when she first met him.

She knew that she had to survive this, to be strong, that her weakness would only enrage him further.

"Lyanna. She betrayed herself unwillingly, she thought you had told me." She said quickly, looking at him softly, asking him not to exalt a problem that wasn't there.

"She didn't tell me how it happened." She added, seeing him turn his head impatiently, furious. "She only said that your eye was taken from you by your nephew."

She watched his chest rise and fall restlessly, his hand extended on the armrest clenched into a fist.

She wanted to add something but restrained herself.

He needed to calm down, to continue the conversation himself.

She knew that the last thing that would have a soothing influence on him was to ask, speak, or force him to externalise.

She saw him massage the spot between his eyebrows with his fingers, frustrated, and let the air out of his lungs loudly.

"It's irrelevant. What I want to tell you, is that I don't wish you to speak to any of these fucking bastards when they arrive here. I don't want to see you looking at them, smiling at them. Do you understand?" He asked coldly, his jaw clenched with tension.

She looked at him surprised, breathing anxiously, thinking that he just wanted her to be on his side.

Completely devoted to him, without asking why.

He wanted her to accept his words as they were, so she did.

She nodded, her gaze warm and understanding, no sign of frustration or displeasure on her face.

"Very well, my husband." She said calmly; at the sound of her last words expression on his face softened, as if he had come back to himself again.

The One-Eyed Prince had become her husband once more.

They were silent for a moment, not looking at each other, only the pleasant sound of the sizzling fireplace and flames around them. She shuddered, snapped out of her reverie when she heard his low, murmuring voice.

"Come here."

She stood up obediently, walking towards him slowly, fearlessly, full of trust. He could see that she was not afraid of him.

Not like the others.

He might have been terrified for her, but she never showed it to him.

His brave wife.

He held out his hand to her, looking at her calmly, and she took it in her.

It was big, rough, warm.

Her husband's hand, the same hand that had caressed her body so wonderfully every night.

She placed her soft fingers on his skin, and he drew her closer to make her sit on his lap. She pumped into him, landing on his lap with her arms around his neck.

Now, as she looked at him he seemed tired, fatigued to her, she thought the constant tension and anxiety was exhausting for him.

She knew that he slept badly, kept waking up, got up in the night and sat by the long-smoked fireplace, still sinking into his thoughts.

He kissed the middle of her hand as he cupped his cheek, letting the air out off his lungs. She leaned over him and kissed his forehead, going lower and lower, down to his scarred brow, his eye patch, his cheek. He placed his hands on her hips, as naturally and lightly as if it were an unconditional impulse.

He moved her closer to him so that she could feel how hard he already was. She smiled involuntarily at the sensation and he furrowed his brow, clearly thinking she was mocking him.

"− my husband − always ready to possess me − to give me so much pleasure −" She cooed, leaning over him, their lips brushed against each other and joined in a tender, sticky, loud kiss.

She pulled away from him, stroking his cheek, seeing him look at her expectantly, his gaze traveling from her nipples, peeking through from under the thin material of her nightgown to her face.

He wanted her to make the next move.

He wanted to give her the initiative.

It shocked her, but it also empowered her at the same time.

He needed her.

He needed her to take care of him.

Her husband.

When she leaned in to kiss him again, he grasped gently her cheek in his palm, reciprocating her caress with quiet click of his saliva. Their fleshy, moist lips pressed againt each other slowly, merely teasing each other, the tips of their tongues licking once in a while, making her nipples hard.

He murmured contentedly seeing this, his free hand grasped her breast, his thumb ran over her nipple, playing with it and teasing it, bringing out a whine of pleasure from her throat, her hips rubbed encouragingly against his manhood at the sensation.

He grabbed her by the nape of her neck and pulled her close, deepening the kiss, their tongues licking each other with the sticky, perverted click of their saliva, their accelerated breaths enveloping their skin, their hands travelling over their cheeks, their hips rubbing against each other, searching for any source of friction.

"− please, give it to me − you know what your prince needs −" He breathed out helplessly into her mouth, and she immediately reached to the his breeches, untying them.

He let out a low, surprised sigh as she took his swollen, fat cock in her hand in a sure, gentle motion, squeezing it several times at the very base to increase his sensations. He leaned his head back, completely hard, vulnerable, wanting what only she could give him.

She pressed her lips together and hummed with pleasure at the sight, slipping her nightgown off her shoulders. She smiled tenderly seeing his pupil dilating in desire at the view of her breasts, her soft, bare body.

He always reacted the same way as if perpetually surprised by this intimate, beautiful sight.

They both began to breathe louder as she lifted herself above him, his one hand holding her hip, helping her guide herself to the tip of his throbbing manhood, the other clamping down on her naked back.

He pulled the material of her chemise over her head, leaving her shamelessly naked while he was fully clothed.

He watched with delight as she fell on top of him, his thick, throbbing cock pushing hard against her tight, hot muscles. She was so wet, so eager, that he couldn't hold back, his hips immediately thrusting it deeper, all the way into her, making her utter a loud mewl, opening her wide.

"− yes − do it − oh fuck, I need it −" He exhaled excitedly, and she put her hands on his shoulders, rising and falling on the top of him, rubbing herself with his cock against her upper wall where her sweet spot was. They both tilted their heads, panting loudly, delighted by this tender closeness, his hands tightening on her soft hips, forcing her to speed up.

"− ah − my prince − it feels so good −" She mumbled out, her mind whirling from the feeling of being filled to the brim with him, so intense and hard, his thrusts sure and deep as if he wanted to sink all the way into her, seeking shelter. She rode him faster and faster, up and down, feeling him pulsing inside her with desire, quiet, low growls coming from his lips each time she fell back on him with loud slap.

" − hm? − ah − do you feel good when I'm inside you? − when your prince fills you with his seed? −" He gasped helplessly and she knew what he wanted to hear.

He wanted to know that she needed him, that she was devoted to him, that Luke or anyone else wouldn't be honoured with even one glance of hers while he was beside her.

" − yes, my prince − yes − gods, Aemond, yes! −" She spasmed with delight, feeling a wonderful, hot orgasm surge through her, aroused by his questions, so intimate, private, thirsting for her attention.

Her hot walls squeezed him greedily, sucking him inside, making him tilt his head back, rolling his eye, clenching his eyelid with slightly parted lips, his hips slamming his cock into her fast and sharp thrust of his hips, paying no attention to how delicate and sensitive she was now, writhing beneath him in convulsions.

"− yes, just like that − fuck, 'm close − ohhh, gods −" He sighed loudly with pleasure and relief, clamping his fingers firmly on her hips, spilling himself inside her after several sloppy, deep pushes, filling her insides with his spend.

She fell back against him, hugging her face to the hollow of his neck, feeling his veins pulsing hard, his chest rising and falling fast in heavy breaths, his hand slowly stroking her hair.

He fell asleep for a while after their close-up on the chair, still being deep inside her, but as soon as she woke him unwillingly, all sore from one position, he didn't sleep a wink again until morning, twisting and turning in their bed.

The next day her husband waited patiently outside her chamber for her to finish her morning toilet; when she stepped out he examined her from top to bottom and let out a satisfied murmur, as he saw that she had put on her richest, most beautiful gown.

She had to represent him and his family with dignity.

They moved down the corridor together without a word spoken between each other.

They all gathered in the great throne room to hear both sides of the conflict. She stood with her husband on the other side of the hall, close to the throne, along with his mother and siblings. Aegon measured her with his eyes and grinned under his breath, then turned his gaze away.

She noticed the heir to the throne and her family immediately, her one hand placed on her slightly rounded abdomen. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her husband and her sons, one of them, with the same curly black hair as the others was holding her hand, pain and terror in his eyes.

Luke.

She turned her gaze away, remembering what her husband had told her.

Although she personally believed after their wedding that he was a calm, gentle, good boy, she knew that she had formed a kind of alliance with her husband and could not betray him.

Whether she wanted to or not, she could not be impartial in this conflict.

She knew that he would not forgive her.

Otto, the Hand of the King, sat on the Iron Throne with an expression of contemplation and worry, which, however, did not seem sincere to her. She could feel him enjoying the situation and she found it hard to imagine how he would not be a biased judge; she lowered her gaze at this thought, looking down at her feet.

There was a stir in the hall as Vaemond Velaryon stepped inside, walking ahead proudly, confidently, dressed in beautiful, gilded robes, evidence of his wealth and power. Luke stared at him over his shoulder, horrified, and turned his head quickly, looking pleadingly at his mother.

She glanced at her husband out of the corner of her eye and saw that he was grinning.

She knew that smile, a grimace that did not reach his eye, wide and terrifying.

It was very, very bad.

Otto greeted everyone, explaining briefly why they had met; the atmosphere was tense, she could feel them all glaring at each other vigilantly, waiting for something to happen, a spark to ignite that would allow them to lash out at each other.

The Hand of the King ceded the right to speak to Vaemond who stepped forward into the middle. He began to speak with pride about his lineage and his brother, about why the right of his brother's legacy should belong to him and not to Lucerys Velaryon.

Princess Rhaenyra interjected several times, but was silenced by the Queen who ordered loudly that her turn to speak would come.

When at last the right to speak was granted to the Rheanyra, she stepped out into the middle to speak on behalf of her son, but she did not even have time to utter a word, because the wooden door opened and one of the guards began to speak:

"The King Viserys Targaryen, First of His Name −"

Everyone moved suddenly, drawing in the air loudly as they saw the king in the golden mask, moving barely on his staff, thin and weak, she covered her mouth at the sight, glancing at her husband, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"− the King of the Andals, and the Rhoynars and the First Man, the Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm."

Otto Hightower rose from the throne, startled, exchanging a quick glance with his queen-daughter; there was confusion in the hall and whispers of people could be heard, worried about the king's condition.

As he passed, King Viserys glanced only at his first-born daughter, the child of his beloved wife, but did not bestow it on his other children.

She felt a squeeze in her heart as she glanced at her husband and saw that his face expressed absolutely nothing.

The King sat down with difficulty on his throne and the whole meeting took a completely different turn. She could hear in the way he spoke that his daughter had his full support − the matter was a foregone conclusion.

She heard Aegon laugh under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief as the king announced that he was upholding Colrys Velaryon's decision regarding his heir.

He reinforced his decision by asking his wife, who had expressed a desire to marry her granddaughters to Princess Rhaenyra's sons, to speak on the matter.

She knew that the case was already lost for them.

She looked at her hands entwined in on her stomach, wondering how her husband would take it all.

She shuddered as Vaemond Velaryon stepped out into the middle of the throne room again, demanding justice from the king.

"THAT! Is not true Velaryon!" He hissed, pointing angrily at Luke, the boy stepped back, terrified, hidden behind his mother.

She thought that this boy was still just a child.

She couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"Her children…" He started and she looked at him, horrified, the whole room fell silent in suspense and anticipation as to whether he would turn out to be mad or not.

"… are BASTARDS!!!!!" He shouted low, and she, pale, unsure where to look, glanced quickly at her husband, his healthy eye wide open in shock, awe and satisfaction at the same time.

"And she… is… a whore."

She felt that this was already too much, that this man would surely not escape the King's punishment and wrath, wondering how he could be such a fool, allow himself to be so provoked.

The king was furious, suddenly there was no sign of illness or fatigue on his face; he rose from his throne on his trembling hand, drawing a dagger from behind his robe.

"I… will have your tongue for that…" He exhaled.

Suddenly the whole room screamed at once, Aemond stepped forward, shielding her with his body and she involuntarily grasped his arm, unable to suppress a squeal of horror and surprise, turning her head quickly away from the gruesome sight.

Daemon Targaryen stood over Vaemond Valeryon's half-cut head, looking at his body with disapproval, leaning on his sword.

His Dark Sister.

She watched it in disbelief with her lips parted wide in shock and looked questioningly at her husband.

She saw something in his gaze as he looked at his uncle from afar that she had not expected.

Admiration.

Daemon turned his sword in his hand, stepping back before the guards could reach him to disarm him.

"He can keep his tongue."

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @astral-blossoms @randomdragonfires @amirawritespoorly @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes @darylandbethfanforever9 @fudge13 @snh96 @diosademuerte @rwdkarla @echos-muses @ipostwhtifeel @letmeloveyouuuu @yentroucnagol @valeskafics

Others: @dreamymoomin @thedamewithabook @dc-marvel-girl96 @zillahvathek @helaenaluvr @tssf-imagines @heavenly1927 @hiatuswhore @it-is-getting-better @linkpk88 @luna-salem @toodlesxcuddles @happinessinthebeing @siriusblackrunmeover17 @alaaaaaaa @ladybug0095 @barbiegirlaemond @random-ocity

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lulu-tutu · 1 year

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Rise tmnt request; platonic hc of mom figure female reader who's taking care of her teenage turtle kids; how she's enjoying cooking with mikey and attend his dr. Feelings sessions, how she sew for raph many dolls and teddy bears with different colors (she hate ghost bear for hurting her baby), how she used to put donnie and leo in get together shirts whenever they start chaos.

But her favorite activity; gathering embarrassing pictures, videos of the turtles's childhood and show it to everyone, like if she ever were kidnapped by big mama they would spend a lovely time talking about the turtles when they were kids (the mad dogs try to save their mom faster before their secrets get exposed😂)

Mother Dearest ⭐️ Rise!Turtles HCs

A/N: *throws unlimited affection at you* How in the world did you manage to give me so many heart clenching, tooth aching, fluff filled requests?? Please take my hand in platonic marriage, we do not deserve you. I almost enjoy these parental requests as much as I enjoy angst. Almost.

Pairing(s): Mother Figure!Reader & Turtles

Warning(s): FLUFF, may make you cry from wholesomeness

Proof read :)

The boys are, well, your boys. You don't make the rules. The turtles are your babies.

Do you spoil them? Yes. Will you ever stop spoiling them? Of course not.

You do everything in your power to keep your kids happy, no matter the cost, even if it's the tiniest of things that make their faces light up like fireworks.

Mikey, oh sweet baby angel, you could never say no to him, why would you even consider that in the first place?

You and him make the most mouth watering dishes the universe has ever seen, and you always give the credit to Mikey despite how he tries to wave it off and reflect it back towards you.

When the two of you are in the kitchen, it's like watching art come to life. When one of the other boys enter the room, they sometimes have to stop and gaze in amazement at the two of you, hypnotised by the way you both work so effortlessly around each other.

You always try and give Mikey little tips to push his dishes towards perfection, and he always does the same to you when you find yourself making something you haven't even heard of before.

You and Mikey are the dream team when it comes to the kitchen, no one could even compare.

Watching his face turn darker from your praises as you all dig into his meals, it just makes you so giddy to see him so happy.

When it comes around to it, you definitely attend his Dr Feelings sessions! You're there to listen and take in whatever your youngest son has to offer, your face serious the whole time he reads through his clipboard or points towards the projectors screen.

Raph was also one of the most spoilt of the four, though you tried to make sure to evenly give the others gifts.

After many nights of learning how to sew and stitch (while getting many pricks and pokes at the same time) you had learnt how to craft the most adorable plushies, dolls and teddy bears Raph had ever seen.

Or maybe it was the thought behind them that made him love them more than any other plushies he had. He would just guess it was both.

The first time you had rushed into the lair with a plastic bag swinging at your side, Raph had thrown you so many worried questions. "What happened? What's in the bag? Did Donnie make you steal from the museum again-?"

Like I said, you'd do anything to make your boys happy.

When you tore open the bag to show him your hard work, he gasped so loudly, tiny stars in his eyes.

He couldn't pick a favourite! Of course the red bear was one of them, with it having a red bandana around its neck and tiny roses dotted around its body, the blue one was also adorable-oh, the yellow one too- a pink one?

The more he looked around in the bag, the more colours he saw.

And then he caught a glance at your bandaid covered hands, which instantly activated his own 'mother bear' instincts. heh.

"You didn't have to make me anything, you hurt yourself doin' it!" "Raph, sweetie, I'm fine! The look on your face was enough to heal any injury."

He melts, which makes you melt.

You helped him organise his room, placing the plushies on his bed, making sure each one got enough love and care. You didn't want any of them feeling left out!

And oh, don't even get started on Ghost Bear. You hear one mention of him and you're shaking your head, biting your tongue from cursing him out for even thinking of hurting your baby boy.

"That guy has no right being idolised by the great Raphael! If I ever get my hands on that no good-"

Mikey has to drag you away after that, hand covering your mouth to prevent some not very nice words from slipping out.

You knew how much Donnie needed to hear any sort of praises from a parental figure, and you were there to give it and more. He was desperate, and you didn't blame him.

You spend a lot of your free time in his lab, even when he has his music blaring loudly. You got use to it after so long.

He doesn't say it, but he really enjoys your presence. You two don't have to speak, all he needs to know is that you're there for him while he tinkers away.

He shows you something new and most likely dangerous?

"Holy cow, that's amazing! You're amazing! How did you even make that?"

Cue him flapping his hands around wildly before diving into a deep explanation about it that you don't understand at all, but you nod along and smile as he talks away.

You also offer to help collect materials with him! Bonding! He never turns you down, even when he's in a bad mood thanks to Leo's pestering.

You let him get his frustration out to you, happy to listen to him rant and just be that shoulder for him. If he wants you to give him advice or feedback, you will. But most of the time you let him just get everything out in the air.

Talking about Leo, hoo boy.

Chaos. Always chaos.

There's rarely a time to relax around that boy, he is such a handful.

"Leo, leave Donnie alone before he pulls out a flamethrower or something."

"Leo! How can you make the most fanciest looking sandwiches I've ever seen, but manage to burn toast? And why is the toaster on fire?!"

"Did you take Raph's shark bear? I'm going to count to three and it better be back on his bed before I stop counting. One- Good. That's what I thought. I'll make you one too, just ask next time."

When you do get the rare moments of peace, it's blissful and strange at the same time.

Sitting down reading together, whether it's him reading a comic and you a novel. Playing video games with him teaching you some neat and secret tricks, or him even showing you around the Hidden City.

You meeting Hueso was the worst thing to ever happen to Leo. Now he has to deal with the teasing of not only one parental figure, but two? At the same time? He has many regrets. At least you two end up getting along well.

When Leo and Donnie decide to have their daily argument? Into the Get Together shirt they go!

"Wha- No! I demand that I be set free! Being close to this moron is a fate worse than death!"

GASP! "How could you say that, dear brother? I was about to say the same thing!"

"You two continue like this and you'll stay together for a lot longer." "Yes, mom."

"Yes, mother."

When it eventually gets out to the world that you're very dear to the turtles, you weren't surprised that an enemy of theirs would decide to use you as bait.

Thankfully, Big Mama was pleasantly fun to be around. When you told her about your boys, she instantly released you from her webs and beckoned you to come closer.

When the boys come bursting through the doors, they instantly crumble to the floor in horror. They were too late.

"Oh, hey sweeties!" You wave towards their tearful faces, your phone out and facing you and Big Mama, a picture of the four when they were younger and taking a bath was currently on display. It was only one of the many you had shown the spider Yokai who giggles at the cuteness.

"We're too late! We've failed!" Mikey sobs on the floor, clutching his face out of pure embarrassment.

"Please tell me you didn't show her-"

You cut off Donnie with a large grin, "The video of you guys pretending to be mermaids? I did."

"NO!"

This was not the first time those pictures and videos have been shown to someone, and it will not be the last. You make it your last mission to show off your boys to anyone and everyone.

#rottmnt x reader #rottmnt x you #rottmnt x y/n #rottmnt Mikey x reader #rottmnt raph x reader #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt leo x reader #rottmnt platonic x reader #tmnt x reader #tmnt x you #tmnt x y/n #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt mikey x reader #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt Leo x reader

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ghostieeeee · 8 months

Text

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏: 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

Word count: 3.6K

Warnings: Possible spelling errors? :D

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

You've come to learn that in your current lifetime experience of schooling, high school is much like a jungle gym. The smooth concrete grounds were always littered with students, used at the disposal of others for leverage to fling themselves around; lockers were basically crashpads; and teachers did nothing but ignore the injured ones. Why would someone so simply walk from point A to B when they could find a million and one other ways to get there while having twice the fun?

Your answer would simply be because of safety regulations- or maybe it was just the fact that you couldn't deal with any form of confrontation from possible victims due to such annoying antics. Either way, it had proven that the irresponsibility of students and teachers alike had led the school to chaos, and you, for one, disliked it.

"Did you see the latest post on the muggie page?" Eunchae, probably the most social butterfly-like person within your very contained friend group blurted out, her eyes doe and her smile wide.

"Uh… no? I don't believe I did" Chaewon, the oldest of your bunch with the youngest patience replies, sharing a look of warning with Eunchae as the younger girl spins on her heel to walk backwards, causing her to become blind to her path.

"Wasn't it something about Soobin?" Inquires the taller of the group, Kazuha, also frequently labelled as the book worm for her love of most books.

"Yeah!" Eunchae snaps into grin, clicking her fingers into stretched finger guns,"apparently he's cheating to get ahead in maths"

You groan, rolling your eyes at your sister's poor habit of spreading rumours,"it's a photo, not a Wikipedia page. Where do these rumours even come from? They're almost always fake"

"Yeah, like, who would even believe that a hippopotamus broke into the school's bathroom?" Kazuha interjected, although her voice seemingly vanished after the word "believe" left her lips.

"There's pictures!"

"Eunchae, we don't need to see poorly edited pictures to believe anything," Chaewon almost huffs, having this been the third time today Eunchae has offered to show these so-called real photos. "Besides, it's all just for followers and attention. Remember Felix before he got expelled?"

"He got expelled because he threw a bucket of fish on someone-"

"Not just someone-" Eunchae interrupts Kazuha, holding out her hand,"it landed on the head teacher!"

"Even worse!" You whine,"Mrs Jang was there to stop Felix's madness, and it just so happened that she got caught in the crossfire of it all"

"None of that is the point!" Chaewon grumbles aloud, readjusting the books held between the muscles of her biceps and her ribs,"who cares about who got caught in the crossfire, who cares about the original target! All that matters is that his intentions were to gain in popularity, to ultimately gain followers for his bold and daring personality"

"God do I hate that boy…" Kazuha mumbles, eliciting what seemed to be a spell of silence over you four as you continue to walk in silence. What Felix had done won't be erasable, not to Kazuha and her dozen beloved books, at least, but you can at least try and forget the misery he put most students through.

You still remember the time you came back from gym class, only to find that your clothes had magically transformed into a tight crop top and a mini skirt. To say you were fuming was one thing, but to say your friends were ready to go on a rampage was another.

You release a content sigh however, upon the memory of Minji, Kim Minji, otherwise known as your secret girlfriend, who had been so quick to discreetly pull you aside and offer you the spare change of clothes she keeps for you. She always keeps a full outfit for you in the back of her own gym locker. You hadn't seen much point in the idea to begin with, but damn were you relieved when it actually came in handy.

Thinking back on it, you never did find your clothes again…

"Morning!" A familiar voice called out, so bright and bubbly with a coaxing of something else, something reluctant. It was the tender voice of the very person you were thinking about, Minji, and now she's standing only a few feet away, waving morning to those who pass her by with her signature smile.

On mornings like these, you'd walk past with your head down, minding your own business for the sake of your decision to keep your relationship with the school's "IT" girl private. However, something in you had you hooked on her smile today, and therefore had your eyes hooked on her as you walked past.

It was obvious Minji noticed, her eyes meeting and following yours till they no longer could. It was also obvious that it had made her morning all that much better- evident in the instant widening of her soft smile.

"Y/n, you have english first, right?" Eunchae was quick to unintentionally ruin the short moment, flinging her arm over your shoulder, her eyes boring into the side of your head as you quietly blush to yourself.

There was something different about Minji today… Maybe she was wearing a new soft toned shirt? Or maybe she did something new with her makeup? Either way, it had already devised its plan and plagued your mind with unanswered questions. Unanswered questions that needed to be solved.

"Y/n?"

"Huh?" You jolt back as a result of a small pinch to your forearm, your opposing hand rushing over to cover the new stinging sensation. You glare at Eunchae,"what?"

"You have english first, right?"

"Yes, I have english first. Why?"

Eunchae gives you a wicked grin, one you're sure could be fatal given the correct circumstance,"don't you have that new assignment, project thingy?"

"Shoot…" your eyes falter, neck growing limp as it sags slightly over your shoulders. "Why'd you remind me of that? I was having a decent morning, you know?"

"Oh? My bad?" She speaks with an insincere tone,"Just wanted to ask you who you'd pick to be your partner this time"

"Haha, funny joke munch"

"I told you to stop using that nickname years ago!" The slightly younger Hong whines, retracting her hand from your shoulder.

You roll your eyes,"Miss has never let us pick our partners, so there's no answer to that question"

"You need to have some hope," Chaewon speaks up, pushing her glasses up the thin bridge of her nose. It's been a while since Chaewon last wore glasses, so it was a welcoming sight to get used to.

"Yeah! And if your teacher does pair you with someone, I hope it'll be the boy from last time." Eunchae continues to grin, making stupid kissing faces with her lips impossibly puckered.

"Please no," you shudder out, remembering the laziness of his work ethic, but the proactive nature of his wanting to get to know you better. If it was a social experiment, you would've been somewhat alright with it- but it wasn't. "Let's just see if I can survive getting to class first"

"Why wouldn't you make it?" Truth be told, there were a thousand ways to answer that, a thousand possibilities of something happening. Possibly a fire drill; someone knocks you unconscious; maybe you'd be kidnapped; or the roof of the school gets ripped open and you could get abducted by aliens.

Maybe the last two examples were a little extreme… but never say never?

"Just look around us. Do you really think half of these people aren't secretly serial killers?"

"We're teenagers" Eunchae rolls her eyes,"were all serial killers in the making"

"But still, there's always a possibility"

"I'll see you guys later," Kazuha speaks, her tone almost making her sentence sound like a question more than anything else.

You, Eunchae, and Chaewon each respond with different farewells in unison, creating a mesh of jumbled words as your other friend heads into her class.

"Do you ever get the feeling that someone is secretly watching you?" Chaewon spurts out, causing you to raise an eyebrow at her inquiry.

"Yeah, all the time," you respond,"sometimes I swear Eunchae secretly watches me when I sleep"

"I don't do that," Eunchae almost snorts as she pinches your arm again, earning herself a slap in the process.

"Sounds like it most of the time…"

"We have paper thin walls!!"

"No we don't! You just have the need to know everything about me"

"Guys?" Chaewon interrupts. Albeit your little bickering session was entertaining, Chaewon genuinely couldn't shake the question off her mind.

"Sorry, sorry," you awkwardly laugh,"I've had the feeling once or twice- but like I said, it's almost always Eunchae," you shrug.

"And when it's not me?" Eunchae tilts her head in question, furrowing her eyebrows slightly.

"It's Kazuha waiting for me to fetch a book I offered to find for her"

"Eunchae?" Chaewon asks as you stop outside of your classroom door.

"I get people looking and staring at me all the time," your sister responds with a nonchalant tone, seeming far too careless about her explosive personality.

"Right…" Chaewon tugs a smile across her face, nodding slightly.

"Hey, it's okay. If anything happens, we're all just a phone call away. Right, sis?" You turn to see Eunchae enthusiastically nodding in agreement,"see?"

"Thanks guys" she shakes off the forced smile,"You should get inside your class" she nods to you.

"Yeah, I suppose so. I'll see you all at break, " you wave before turning. The last thing you hear is them saying goodbye before you're officially in the torture chamber of hell. The classroom.

Your designated seat was on the third row back, one depressing chair away from the love of your life- the window. The view is pretty nice up here too, so why must the teacher make you suffer this bad?

You lazily throw your bag against the metal leg of your desk before slumping into the paired chair. You could feel your back almost instantly grow sore at the uncomfortable furniture choice, but it's not like you could change that. Living with the suffering is your only option.

"Morning, everyone," a voice booms against the rest, threatening the bustling army of student voices into hushed whispers until they stop altogether. She coughs,"I'm not wasting any time here, you all know what's happening, so without further ado…" The woman pauses to grab a sheet of paper, her eyes hungrily scanning over the printed information.

"Yujin and Soyeon"

"Irene and Yiren"

"Hyunjin and Jeongwoo"

"Y/n and Haerin"

You gulp. Haerin? As in Kang Haerin? The Haerin that's friends with your girlfriend? That Haerin?

Were you really questioning what Haerin you had been partnered with? There's only one in your class, and as far as you know, the only other girl named Haerin in this school is two years below you. You were tempted to slap yourself, if only it wasn't for the attention it would place upon yourself.

Hesitantly, your eyes hoister upon the figure of your new partner for the next few weeks. She sat on the front row, closest to the door- she was basically completely across the room. You lean forward a tad, capturing what you could of her before someone else's head got in the way.

She looked half asleep in all honesty. You're not even sure if she's listening. Her half lidded eyes are barely focused on the teacher, and her smokey hoodie is drawn up to her mouth.

This was bad. The possible scenario of her finding out was at an all-time high, and you're not ready for that yet- you're not ready for any of that yet.

Your relationship is meant to be a secret, a rule imposed by you to keep your emotions in tact. Minji wasn't all too fond of the idea, but she accepted it nonetheless. It's been hurting you as much as it's been hurting her- but you'll both end up far worse if people knew.

The people in your school would ravage you for details on your personal life. Your privacy would be invaded by snotty teenagers- ultimately turning your life upside down. They'd ruin you for being a nobody if you're not good enough, if you don't match their standards. It doesn't help that their standards are themselves either. It's just one of the many perks of dating Minji.

Maybe you could swap partners…?

"Hey! That's not fair! You know we don't get along well together!" You look to your left, only to find the boy you sit next to on his feet as he thrashes his arms about.

"Mister Song, please remain as you were." The teacher attempts to calm the boy, speaking in her usual dismissive tone.

"I demand a partner swap! Uh- with this girl right here!" You yelp as he grabs your elbow, dragging you to your feet.

"Mister Song, leave the girl alone and report to the head teachers office immediately," Miss huffs out, clapping her hands aggressively out of annoyance.

The boy lets go of you, to which you quickly take your seat again, scooting slightly away as heat creeps to your face and your hands begin to subtly shake. "Whatever"

You breathe in deeply, taking in mouthfuls of air at a time to steady yourself as your brain scrambles to put itself back together. You find yourself counting each breath, starting from one and working your way up to ten within a short matter of time.

It didn't take too long- only until the teacher was done reading out the list- for you to have regained a decent enough composure to not be noticed by others. You had initially calmed down, but your nerves were still very much active, and it made you all that much more aware of your surroundings.

"Find your partners and don't forget to pick up a sheet." You look up as your teacher places a thin stack of paper at the front. Was that seriously your project? It was printed out onto a sheet of paper! You're not quite sure if she's just too lazy to inform the class verbally or if this was some ingenious idea to stop you from letting her words go in one ear and out the other- like they normally do.

You halt in your seat for a moment, your hand grasping a strap of your bag as you wait for everyone else to have gotten their own resources before you move. You had watched how several people passed the Isle two seats down from you, rushing about in a sloppy mess, and now it was your turn to go before everyone was sat back down.

Standing up, your chair's legs scrape against the wooden flooring, an unwelcoming sound to bask in. You're quick to tuck your chair back into the table, also tucking the chair of the boy that grabbed you earlier to get past as he left it in obstruction to your path.

Carefully squishing yourself between the fewer students at the front, you grab a sheet and make your way over to Haerin. You notice how her brown hair tangles itself slightly, how the ends of her hair nestles into the small creases of her hoodie. You also notice how her hands are fiddling with each other, her thumb gracing over her knuckles before rubbing small circles into her palm.

Everyone in the school knows of her, but no one actually knows her. No one has ever questioned her introverted state, neither have they ever really cared enough to find out. It's their loss, you suppose.

You gently clear your throat to get her attention, only now noticing how dry your airway has gotten. You wait as she slowly turns to you, only blinking at your existence beside her.

"W-we're partners for the English project… can… can I sit here?" You felt yourself vomit whatever confidence you had left to get those words out, especially as she keeps staring at you with a blank expression.

"Go ahead," she almost mumbles, keeping her eyes trained on you as you nervously take your seat beside her- almost sweating at the intensity of her stare. You swear she could read your mind.

"Thanks" you offer her a small smile in an attempt to smooth the rough granite between you two, but you don't get one back, causing your face to falter a bit.

Haerin hums, moving her target of focus to the sheet you brung over, her eyes quickly scanning the words as she nods along to a silent beat. "You'd think she'd at least send this via email or something," she grumbles, dragging the sheet closer to her for a better look.

"That way, the instructions wouldn't get so easily corrupted," you add, noting how paper is insufficient against most elements. No one likes a soaked piece of paper, but even so, at least that would be better than having it get burnt into basically nothing.

"My point exactly." Haerin glances back to you, her dark eyes pricking at your skin,"if we lose this paper, we lose our project"

You hold back a smile at her words, more so the particular word,"our." This was already a far better start than your previous project you had done last term.

“Would you want me to type it out and send it to you later?”

“I was kind of hoping we could do that now. I know it's not really a wise thing to do because of the deadline being next month…” Haerin pauses to look over the sheet again, her finger tracing from the set deadline to the paragraphs that explain the task, until the said appendage reaches the very base of the page. “But it would save us a lot of time in case something does happen”

Nodding in agreement, you lean to unzip your bag,”Do you have a laptop?” You ask, pulling your own device out and setting it on the desk.

“Yeah, I do. Can you make a document and share it with me? I’ll write down my email for you” She questions, pulling out a pen and pulling the lid off.

“For sure,” you agree.

The classroom was already back to its usual state of madness and pure insanity. It was almost as if they had reverted to their old, primitive ways with the caveman-like sounds they were producing. It was almost impossible to miss the paper balls being thrown across the room as a strange form of note passing.

“Do people not understand the meaning behind focus?” Haerin murmurs under a light breath, her hand almost straining as she logs back onto her laptop.

“Their brains are too underdeveloped to even understand the context of silence. What makes you think they can focus on anything other than not focusing?” You reply, looking at the brown haired girl with a small smile and a nervous heart. You could still feel the rampant of your heartbeat in your ears.Talking to new people was certainly not your speciality.

She sighs,”you’re not entirely wrong. Some can focus on other things like the females and their makeup and skin care routines… I can’t say much for the boys”

“Yeah… Hey, I sent you the document” You inform, having used the email she neatly wrote down on the paper your teacher had you grab on the way over.

“Thanks. If you can type out this-” she points to the bottom half of the paper, which is arguably shorter than the opposing top half “-then i'll do the rest”

“You sure? You have way more to type out” You look away from the sheet to find her looking at you with a questioning look “I’m just saying- it is a shared project afterall”

“I'm sure. I could probably be done before you anyway”

“That sounds like a challenge…”

Haerin tilts her head, her eyes reflecting the sparkle of the overhung lights,"Take it how you will”

Not even moments later, you were half done with your smaller section, though the distraction of students behind you was making your job a sufferable task. They were too loud. However, that wasn't the only present distraction. You hadn’t come to notice it, but the rapid clicking of Haerin’s manicured fingers had you half in a daze. It was clear she was completely focused on her task, possibly speeding ahead as you pause for a moment to look over at the sheet for a catch-up before resuming with your typing. It’s only been a few minutes anyway, it's not like-

“I’m done” Your hands freeze as you turn to evaluate her screen, and sure enough, every word, every letter, every piece of punctuation was present on the screen. How? What she wrote was near enough a thousand words- or so you were assuming. “How about you? Are you almost done too?”

“Uh… yeah, almost. I’m just on the final paragraph” You look away as the tips at either side of her mouth curl up in a soft smile. You take a second to take a deep breath, eyes readjusting to the word you left off on.

“Oh- Y/n?” You nod, keeping your eyes strictly trained on your keyboard “Would you mind coming to the coffee shop with me later? I’d like to start as soon as possible if that's okay with you and your schedule?”

“Sure” you breathe out, trying to release any nerves.

“Is after school okay? I’ll meet you outside your classroom last period”

“That's fine, I have biology last. It's the last room at the far end of the corridor ”

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

: Dating in a high school full of love thirsty teenagers was never really something you wanted. But of course, things change- and you learnt that in more ways than one. Kim Minji, one of the more popular students. Hong y/n, probably the most invisible person alive. They couldn't possibly be dating… or maybe they could be? You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: [𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍]

@jeindall777 @zuhasfavwife @thefckghost @everydayiloveyves @nasyu-kookies @justdelulumeh @feb14-kid

@ehcyps @imjeyjjey @winteresss @haechansbbg @urwyf3

@idkwhatim-doinghere101 @imahallucination11 @sserajeans @lesleepyyy @jennasluma @kaypanaq

@petruchiosstuff @pandafuriosa60 @haexrin07

#minji #kim minji #minji x reader #newjeans #newjeans minji #newjeans kim minji #minji smau #newjeans x reader #kim minji x reader #kim minji smau #newjeans smau #kazuha #chaewon #eunchae #le sserafim

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bcolfanfic · 1 month

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Hiii!!! to take your mind to kinder and softer things: any headcannons on josies first birthday with clegan?? will her uncles and aunts come by with truly threatrical gifts that sends buck and buckys eye twitching? will she demand to be carried around by her uncle croz and never be put down for a second? will there be some godawful birthday games that leaves her uncle curt a trip to the er because a game of pin the tail on the donkey is supremely misunderstood? will there be a quieter celebration during the nights bedtime where bucky brushes back her hair and sings happy birthday softly and buck uncharacteristically plays air guitar bc hes ever so freely playful in front of his two favorite people?

i hope everything goes well for you today and tomorrow!! sending love your way ♥️

she’s just a girl living in wyoming, of course it’s horse themed.

gale and bucky have to put it (in bold) on the invitations they send out to the guys that under no circumstances are they to get her a horse, please.

demarco texts bucky and asks on a scale of 1-10 how mad he’d actually be if someone you know- hypothetically,

an 11. we are renting one that will go back to it’s horse house at the end of the day, so don’t worry about making up for us depriving our child.

this is the first real birthday celebration she’s ever had which makes gale emotional in the lead up when they’re talking about it and she doesn’t really get it.

he gets that- he never really had birthday parties growing up either. getting to do different by his little daughter makes his heart warm.

she has a few little friends from school there but it is mostly the guys and their various families that came into town for the the festivities. and josie kinda ditches her little school friends for them, whoops.

especially her moon and sun and stars uncle crosby.

has a little moment where she gets jealous of the attention he’s giving to his youngest who is just shy of a year old. and matter o-factly informs him it’s not that baby’s birthday, ‘s mine 😾

sweet thing she thinks the baby is cute and all just wants uncle crosby to herself. croz hands the baby off, and josie is quick to park herself in his arms before he can change his mind.

she’s absolutely big enough to walk, but it’s her birthday and she’s cute so uncle crosby does haul her around all day.

rosie rosenthal STUNS with a new talking customized pop up card of himself

he even provides him own replacement batteries this time, and gale tells him they ought to throw them away but he knows they won’t.

the guys spoil that girl rotten, and if it’s with some of the noisiest toys produced in the united states then well, so be it.

kenny is one of the few that doesn’t go the noisy toys route- he gets them a membership at a local children’s museum. and writes bucky his own card that makes him tear up.

because kenny remembers the bucky he saw spiraling overseas and that he spent years and tears so worried about. and now he’s here- and he just wants his buddy to know how proud of him he is.

curt doesn’t wind up in the ER but there is a little bit of a near miss when he gets lost in the haze and whacks his good leg with the piñata stick

sweet josie gets so worried, curt laughing through the pain when he hears her ask if they’re gonna have to cut that one off too (it’s just bruised, but she’s five and doesn’t really understand the one that had to get amputated was a little more injured)

gonna decide that gale plays the guitar in this au because why not. he picked it up after he came home from the war just to learn a new skill.

him sitting on the floor against josie’s bed playing it for her at bedtime while bucky sits in her little princess bed singing to her in his arms.

both guys get a little teary eyed- for more than one reason. because their baby is growing up, they can’t help but wish she was with them for her first four birthdays and because the road to get to where they are now singing their little daughter to sleep was long. especially for bucky.

but they made it to the good life damnit. 🩵

#young vets au #buck x bucky #clegan

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beautifulmadnesss · 1 year

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"Gravity Happens" The Summer I Turned Pretty Imagine Fisher!Reader

Summary: Suzannah's cancer from the perspective of her youngest child and only daughter.

warning: death and loss

I figured it out first, being the pessimist, I immediately noticed when my mom's energy started fading again. One night after picking me up from a party when I was drunk, I confessed my fears to Conrad. He's the realist, so he didn't immediately believe it, but after paying closer attention, he saw the same things I did. Neither of us talked about it after that. We both just drank a lot and shared cigarettes in the quiet of the night. Jere was the last to figure it out. I think it's because he was always the optimist, just like our mom. Immediately, he wanted to confront her about it, just yelling it out at dinner one night.

"How could you not tell us the cancer is back?" He accused.

"What?" Belly and Steven asked at the same time.

"Kids, let's go into the living room okay?" My mom responded gently. The four of us got up and moved into the living room, while the Conklin's made their way upstairs.

I was already very tipsy, something I had learned to cover well, but tonight there was no hiding it as I snapped. "You can't leave. It's not fair. I hate you. We are all falling apart because we are just kids and we can't carry everyones fucking secrets. It's suffocating. You were so mad at dad for making us lie about his girlfriend and you're doing the exact same thing. Except you just want to lie to us and then just disappear one day. You are so selfish. Did you ever stop to think how we would feel? How it would feel for us?"

"Stop." Jeremiah warned, stepping towards me while Conrad wrapped an arm around our mom.

"No, I'm so tired of all this bullshit. Did you ever think how we would feel when one morning you just didn't wake up? When we went in to check on you and found you dead?" She flinched, but it felt so good to finally just explode that I couldn't stop as the tears burned my cheeks. "Then we would be all alone with a deadbeat dad and no one else. No one to take perfect little Jeremiah to his practices, no one to to sit up worrying about Conrad when he stays out all night with some girl and no one to-" My throat closed up, but I tried again, "No one to-" It was like my entire body gave up at once. My voice broke, my knees buckled, and I fell to the floor sobbing.

My mom was holding me within seconds and soon after both of my brothers joined in. We were all just holding each other and crying together. She knew I hadn’t meant any of the things I had said in the same way she never held onto anything I said to her when we were fighting when I was younger. I always got so angry when I was hurt or scared. Now, I was all of the above. My mom was dying of cancer. Thirty seconds ago I was overflowing with emotion and now I just felt numb. I don’t even really know what I was going to say. There were so many things I had looked forward to doing with my mom. Things I would never get to do.

“We need you.” I cried.

“I’m right here, sunshine. I’m right here.” She said, squeezing us tighter.

We stayed like that for a while, none of us saying anything else, just quietly crying and holding each other tightly. My mom was the first to break the silence, kissing each of us on the tops of our heads and then declaring "that's enough, crying for now. We are going to do our best to enjoy the time we have left together." She stood and moved toward the kitchen before turning back to us. "Who wants to make some waffles?" She smiled, one that none of us returned, but we did follow her into the kitchen.

She started pulling out the ingredients while softly humming a cheery tune. I took the middle stool while each of my brothers sat on either side of me.

"Jere, will you get the eggs, milk, and butter from the fridge?" She asked, setting the dry ingredients onto the counter.

"Sure, mom." He gave her a small smile in return

"As for you two, you can choose to sit there and sulk or you can help us make some delicious waffles." Conrad and I shared a look before getting up and helping get the rest of the materials together.

The motions felt empty. Our Saturday mornings as kids were always filled with tantalizing smells, warmth, and laughter. Now, it felt like all I could think about was every moment with her could be our last. All I wanted to do was curl up in bed with a drink and make everything else go away.

I felt the powdery substance coat my face and spun around to see my mom and Jeremiah laughing, each with a hand covered in flour.

"Seriously?" Conrad spoke up, voicing my thoughts.

"What's the matter? Scared of a little competition?" My mom teased with a mischievous smile.

Conrad reacted first, diving for the eggs and handing one to me, but not before Jeremiah hit me in the face with even more flour. I quickly retaliated by launching an egg that landed with a satisfying crack, spilling goopy yellow onto his mop of hair. Conrad threw an egg at my mom that connected with her shoulder as she attempted to put the island between the two of them. I think Jeremiah found the sink first, coating all of us with streams of cold water, which only made the flour that my mom dumped on all three of us stick like glue. In just a few minutes we had created a disaster in the kitchen, but it was once again full of laughter and warmth.

That was how we spent our last week at the summer home and the following two months after that. Conrad and I both drank less, but we still spent most nights smoking on the porch together. Eventually, the quiet days spent in her bed outweighed the days of laughter. She was so small and weak that we were scared to touch her, but she never lost her joy. One night, she got a burst of energy so we made popcorn and brought the mattresses into the living room to make a giant bed where we cuddled together watching her favorite movie. She slept on the couch while the three of us shared the giant bed. My mom fell asleep first and the three of us stayed up a little longer, just watching her sleep, no evidence of pain on her face for the first time in weeks.

I woke up first the next morning and I just knew.

"Mommy?" I whispered, my voice cracking and the tears already dripping onto her face as I tried to gently shake her. "Mommy please. I'm not ready yet." I begged, my movements becoming more forceful. "I'm really sorry. I'll be better I promise, just please please wake up" My voice rose to a scream at the end. The sobs shook my entire body as I desperately called out to my favorite person in the entire world even though I knew she was already gone.

I wasn't sure which of my brothers was holding me, but he led us both out of the living room and onto the porch. He held me against his chest and gently ran his fingers through my hair. I could feel him sobbing with me. Eventually I heard the door close and we both looked up to see Conrad with puffy eyes and tears on his face.

"I called the funeral home, dad, and Laurel." He said, his voice sounding as if the phone calls had take all the energy he had. "We're going to be okay." He said as he sat down on the other side of me and wrapped an arm around both of us. Despite knowing this was coming for months, it didn't feel like she was really gone. The only thing that made it feel real was the tangible darkness without the joy of Suzanna Fisher, the light of our world.

#the summer i turned pretty #the summer I turned pretty imagine #tsitp #tsitp imagine #conrad fisher #Conrad Fisher imagine #Conrad Fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher #Jeremiah Fisher imagine #Jeremiah Fisher x reader #imagine #angst

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mushroomwoods · 6 months

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never say goodbye

The sailor finally learned of a secret that roamed among the group and he wasn't happy about it, after all, who, if not him, would even dare to get so close to you? He would make sure it wasn't that wolf.

character — Wind, platonic.

cw — platonic yandere, wind is a warning in itself, feral little gremlin has too many traumas to take care of.

as always, @wayfayrr big brain ideas makes me spiral into madness and this is the latest result of it. and my opinion stands strong, platonic yanderes are fucking scary, they could ruin your fucking life if it meant you would never look away from them <3

kinda noticing how I'm turning mostly into a dark content blog too, oh dear, that wasn't the intention.

The sailor wasn't stupid like some liked to paint him as. It was only natural for him to discover what was the nature of Wolfie's existence when the rancher was always so secretive about it.

The man had come clean to him when he noticed the boy was too near the truth, after all, he trusted him like a younger sibling, he knew he wouldn't do anything to use it against him.

But maybe it was a mistake.

He must have underrated the sailor possible bolts of jealousy when he said something like that to him.

At first it was okay, but he started acting gloomier by the day when you didn't pay him any mind in order to play with the group's wolf. When it came to that, Twilight unfortunately knew it was only a matter of time until the bubble of rose tinted lens burst.

And for the first time, anyone in the group had ever seen Wind cry.

Not that he wasn't easy to read, he was more open than most in the group and always relied into some of the others when in need of help, it was endearing how he acted like the younger sibling when he noticed it would alleviate the tension, even when it was apparent how much he hated acting like it.

But he was strong.

There was no doubt about it, some could even argue that the boy would stand among the heroes with the most mental fortitude, as there was hardly anything that could set him off, even in the middle of battle.

But the scene unfolding right now was nothing short of a surprise.

The boy clung to your clothes as he muttered something incoherent, tears streaming down his face as his grip around one of your writs turned bruising. You winced and Twilight turned frantic.

“Wait, Wind, [Name] is in pain.” The ordonian tries to approach, but the glare he receives from the boy is enough to make him stop.

“Don't you fucking dare!” Wind snarled, showing his teeth and any reproach Wars had about his language, died when he noticed just how shaken up he was.

“Hey sailor, what got into you suddenly.” Four didn't move from his spot near the clearing, but the youngest head whipped to him so harshly you feared he would hurt himself.

“Like you're one to talk, smith. I bet someone like you was into like the rest of you all.” His voice was firm, but the tears just continued to cascade relentlessly. “I bet you all would just leave me out of it and try to take away all the things I love, like they always do.”

A sob broke from his throat and finally his facade crumbled, as his eyes ran back to you, filled with so much desperation you couldn't help but hug the boy, who sniffled into your chest.

“[Name], please, don't leave, please... I'll be good, I promise.” You shushed him quietly, running your hand over his hair as the other patted his back.

“Hey now... why would I leave?” His eyes lifted to meet you, wet lashes brushing and peeking through his bangs. “I won't leave you, don't worry.” You smiled reassuringly and he nodded softly, his hand around your wrist finally letting go as he hugged you again, now nuzzling into you.

You looked in confusion to the rest of the group, but there was no answer from their part. Twilight eyes avoided yours and Time sighed, impatient, but not words were uttered to calm your nerves.

It was a strange night, and you could notice how ever since that day the youngest was more and more protective over you, turning especially harsh when Wolfie tried to approach you, but no one said a thing to dimiss his paranoia, as you could only follow along his whims, since anything you said to go against his wishes would make the usually so energetic boy tremble and cry in fear you would abandon him.

At some point you understood that what you said to him as only a mean to calm him down, was now a promise binding the two of you together.

#lu wind #wind linked universe #linked universe #fungi's delicacies #I'm not all that proud of it but damn will i extend on this topic later

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its-wabby-stuff · 9 months

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Really random thought.

Well a TMNT iteration inspired by my family (not an original idea), but there’s six of us. Four boys, two girls. So what if, the turtles had their sisters in the beginning and I dramatized the family trauma. Here are the rankings:

Splinter (Hamato Yoshi, 42): OCD, spontaneous, anger issues, disciplined, Asian parent standard, can’t identify his limits. Yoshi had always had a hard life. Strict, accomplished parents with high expectations, who he left to study abroad and learn English, met a woman (Tang Shen), fell in love, she was taken away by a mad man and her DNA was used in mutant experiments. He managed to flee to the sewers with 6 baby turtles made in the experiment, and halt the mad man’s progression (where he was mutated into a rat), but lost the love of his life forever.

Venus (oldest, 16): Obedient, kind, keeps feelings to herself, trying her best really, perfectionist, overwhelmed and stimming. Started taking care of her siblings at a young age, after Splinter’s mental health barreled down leaving him a shell of his old self, resigned to his room. Venus tries her best to keep things up to Splinter’s strict standards of house and home. Loves escaping through movies, and often hums songs around the house. More like Splinter than she cares to admit. Looks the most like Tang Shen and remembers seeing her in the isolation tanks.

Raph (Venus’ twin): Anger issues, loves arguments, really a big softy, physical touch, would do anything for family, keeps to himself for own activities, inattentive ADHD, protective. Splinter trained both Raph and Venus is martial arts when they were young, and Raph has good memories of Splinter, but no memories of Tang Shen.Entertains his younger siblings, but isn’t the best at helping out. Loves reading, stuffed animals, and punching stuff. Will beat up any brother causing problems.

Jennika (14): Independent, Anxiety, helpful, social, has a bit of a permanent judgement face, body dysmorphia, people pleaser, more stubborn than you’d think. Longs to leave the sewers and meet humans. Loves to dance, and loves to cook. Likes to keep her space tidy. Very close with Splinter, who sees her potential. He’s the hardest on her. Strict physical exercise routine. Wakes up the earliest. Writes poems. She’s the closest with Leo.

Leo (13): A big tease, picky eater, charismatic, likes looking good, thinks he’s the best looking in the family (he probably is), material gurl, not good at talking about his /emotions/, tallest (for now). Loves getting on his brothers nerves and working out/training. Is the most likely to start a successful business. Would never admit he actually cares about his family, but he does. Tis but a flesh wound, adventurer, could successfully blame you for anything (especially Venus). Knows the most Japanese. Great chess player.

Mikey (12): Social butterfly, wants to be friends with everyone, sensitive, hates rejection and loss, artistic, Tattle-tale, hyperactive ADHD, competitive. Loves playing outside (when allowed), and playing games with his family. Is usually picked on by Leo. Taught martial arts by Venus and Raph. Enjoys Martial Arts and parkour, baking, and video games. A bit more timid, but willing to try anything especially if Leo did it first. Tries to get the whole family to do stuff together.

Donnie (10): Tinkerer, will def be the tallest brother when he hits his growth spurt, autistic, creative, big forehead, follows his siblings around, iPad kid, will abuse the youngest child card. Loves telling stories, beating his brothers in video games, and showing off his “special moves.” Really looks up to Venus and Raph, who he was mostly raised by. He’s still trying to figure out who he is. You can find him the most next to Mikey or Leo, or glued to a Nintendo switch. Plays chess with Leo.

Splinter speaks a lot of his childhood, but not much of his young adulthood spent out of Japan. The plot would follow the turtles discovering the truth of their creation and Splinters past, Venus’ vague memory of Tang Shen (who she believes might’ve been someone she made up), and meeting other mutants, or “cousins”. They’d have run ins with the foot clan, who is a part of some greater family history. Also includes shenanigans. Splinter would realize his faults and try to get better, really giving special attention to Jennika and Leo. Which bothers Venus

Venus is the leader for a bit, only as the oldest, until Venus hands it over to Leo. 1) To help herself heal, relax and stop being so stressed and 2) because she knows he will be great. Jennika is Leo’s number two.

This is also mixing in some of my favorite TMNT iterations, but my family fits really well with the established characters. I imagine they are also different species. Let me know what you think.

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shinestarhwaa · 9 months

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QUERENCIA - CHAPTER 1: BLOOMING

♡ Navigation:

>> Next chapter

>> Masterlist

>> Donna's introduction

Tags/Warnings: none I can think of :) Let me know if I should add any

Word Count: 1.6K

ENJOY!

Loud thumps could be heard from the practice room the girls were dancing in. Even after their debut promotions they did not stop to perfect their skills, especially when it came to performance.

Barely a month after their debut they were already labeled Ateez' true little sisters. Their performance was energetic and their facial expressions were fierce. Truly trained by the best as many could not believe this was Donna's debut. But there is always something to improve.

"One, two, three, four and step! Step! Step! Step! Hip, hip, hip, hip!"

The shouts of Donna's dance teacher Youngjae echoed through the room. "Come on, Gayoung, be a bit more present today, you can do better than that," he sighed. "But I'm so tired," Gayoung whined. Youngjae glared at her, making her correct her stance again. "I'm not a fan of whiners."

Youngjae was a strict teacher, but he was one of the best in the industry, he had worked with many idols such as Taemin, Seventeen and Hyuna.

"Okay and I'm not a fan of my uterus shredding," she said, using her sassy voice, making her members laugh. Youngjae rolled his eyes, although he couldn't help but laugh at her witty statement. Even though he was strict he always made sure to make the girls feel safe in their new environment.

"Okay fine, take a break then, drink some water and take a pill or whatever. I wanna see you doing better in 10 minutes, okay?" Gayoung nodded and saluted him. "Yes sir!"

The girls sat down on the floor to drink from their waterbottles, softly panting from the intense choreo. Iseul ran her hands through her hair. "You can't use that attitude on anyone, you know," she grinned. Gayoung laughed as she took another sip of water. "I know, unnie, but I know he's not gonna be mad at me~"

"Okay, but just focus in media training class okay? Because that behavior doesn't work out well usually. We have to remember they are our teachers, they are superior to us so we have to obey and listen well, yeah?"

Gayoung nodded. Her personality was quite feisty, so she could get a little bold and audacious, especially on her period. It wasn't her fault, really, Iseul knew that, but as a leader she wanted to look out for her 'little sister'.

As the youngest of three children she learned how to speak up and roar when she had to, she learned how to be heard and seen. When you grow up with two brothers who were quite the alpha males, she had no choice in becoming a fiery person. But Iseul admired that about the maknae, she was strong and stood up for her and the others when they couldn't.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door, making the girls look up in awe. Two tall men stood in the frame, and soon enough a few others popped their head in too. "Hi there, we thought it was about time to properly meet you," the tallest, Yunho, said with a warm smile.

Iseul signed the girls to immediately stand up, fix their postures and brush their hair out of their face. They bowed and greeted their seniors. "It's so nice to finally meet you Ateez sunbaenim, we look up to you a lot," Iseul said with a graceful smile.

The guys looked so proud and happy the girls nearly burst out in screams of excitement. "Your debut was crazy, literally," Wooyoung laughed, "Loved the choreo, we should totally film the challenge!"

The girls squealed in excitement and nodded, hoping they'd get picked out for it. "We'd absolutely love to, we are such huge fans of Ateez, you are the best performers in the industry," Evelyn confessed after making eye contact with Wooyoung.

"Well, now we are big fans of you too, we watched your stages on tour and we were really excited about it, you guys are very talented," San smiled kindly. "Don't forget their dance cover of HALA HALA!" Mingi shouted, who stood behind the other boys.

"Well, if you have any questions or anything feel free to ask us. It's hard when you roll into the industry for the first time. We are happy to help," their leader spoke. "Thank you, that's really kind of you, we could use it," Iseul grinned, sharing a look with Gayoung, who hid her face and laughed.

"Now, let's leave the girls alone, it seems like they were practicing a lot," Seonghwa smiled, gathering the boys and gesturing them to leave the room. The girls bowed a few times more, thanking them for their words.

When the guys left the room the girls nearly screamed in excitement, jumping up and down. "I swear to God, I couldn't speak, I just froze seeing them," Minji laughed, "I was stunned!"

"Okay girls, if you are done fangirling about your seniors, then let's go on!" Youngjae said, clapping his hands. "Let's start from the top. Ready? Okay, five, six, seven, eight!"

♡

Over the next few weeks the members had met Ateez a couple times, speaking to them about their journey and their Idol-tips. It was a warm day in late April when Evelyn practiced her solo dance she was planning to film. The Boys by SNSD played loudly on the speakers and the clinging of the chains on her cargopants filled the room.

"Looking good," Wooyoung smiled as he walked into the room. Evelyn stopped in her tracks as she saw him walking into the room. She quickly stopped the music, bowed and greeted him.

"Did you knock? I didn't hear anything, sorry," she quickly apologized. "That's okay, sorry for disturbing. I just heard so many stomps from the room I wondered who was dancing so hard," he grinned. Evelyn laughed and fixed her ponytail.

"Right, I'm practicing the YouTube cover I'm gonna film next week, doing a dance on The Boys, it is a selfmade choreo," Evelyn explained as she fiddled with her bracelet nervously. "Really? Can I see it? I'm curious now."

Wooyoung sat down on the couch in the back of the room as Evelyn put the music on again. The way she moved made him feel something inside. She was great, gracefully feminine and powerful at the same time. The way her hips moved and her ponytail swung left to right nearly made him bite his lip.

'Conceal it, Wooyoung, conceal it, she is your dongsaeng, she just debuted, keep it in your pants,' he spoke to himself mentally. Wooyoung forced a smile as he admired Evelyn, who had completely lost herself in the music.

Wooyoung had such admiration for the people who really felt the music, felt their moves and forgot about their surroundings as they danced.

"So, is it good?" she asked when she finished her choreo. "It is, you're a really, really good dancer," he said smiling as he stood up. "Do you have any tips? Advice? You are an amazing dancer yourself."

Wooyoung laughed cutely, which made Evelyn's heart skip a beat. "Thank you, well I could give you some advice but I have to go to my dorm before my schedule today. But I'm happy to help tomorrow? If you're practicing of course," Wooyoung offered. Evelyn nodded happily, "Yes, I will be practicing tomorrow, I think I'll be here around 9PM." "9PM it is, I will be there," Wooyoung said, bowing as he walked away.

♡

"He winked?" Minji asked in awe. "He totally did, as he left I swear I saw him wink!" "Are you sure? Maybe he just blinked?"

"Zora, no, don't take this from me, he winked! I am telling you," Evelyn said, trying to convince her friends. She took the under-eye mask from her skin and got started with her moisturizer. The cool drops couldn't do anything to make her feel less hot though.

"But maybe it didn't mean anything. Some people wink automatically, you know?" Zora asked. "Okay, can you just follow my fantasy for once?" Evelyn laughed.

Zora grinned as she watched her friend 'fangirl' about Wooyoung. She wasn't sure if this was a fangirling moment or a crushing moment though. From the past months of living together Zora learned that Evelyn falls for someone fast. She swoons over nearly every dancer, idol and actor on TV but she hasn't seen her this excited before.

"Mind you we just debuted and he is like 3 years older than you?" Hwayoung laughed. "Okay first of all, age doesn't matter, it doesn't feel any different. And also, it's not like we're getting married or anything," Evelyn defended herself. "But you want to," Zora grinned. "That's not the point!"

"Girls, tone it down, it's already 11PM, go to bed," their manager said as she stepped half into the bathroom, were the girls bickered. The girls nodded and wished her a good night, laughing silently when she left. Evelyn brushed her blonde hair carefully as she zoned out, thinking about Wooyoung's wink. She felt some spark in her body as she thought about him helping her practice her dance. How could she ever go to sleep?

Zora and Minji laughed at her, watching her zone out and standing there with her brush in her hand. "Earth to Evelyn," Zora said, shaking her shoulder, "don't fall too hard, you'll hurt yourself."

Evelyn laid in bed that night, not being able to sleep. She kept re-thinking the situation. Why did she get the feels so quickly? Sure, he's a gorgeous man and he seemed sweet. She knew she couldn't date him, but it wouldn't hurt anyone if she flirted with him, right?

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @star1117-archives @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @lemonhongjoong @babesindestroyland @changbinslovelylegs

#kpop #ateez #smut #fluff #angst #san #seonghwa #wooyoung #yunho #yeosang #jongho #hongjoong #mingi #querencia #shinestarhwaa

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cheadarchesse · 9 months

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Thursday Ask-A-Thon time for @ask-a-thon : How are you, how are things going and you say you can't stop thinking of Beela, so would you like to talk about that wip? What captures you the most? Characters? The plot?

Beela my beloved!

Beela has been a journey for me, honestly. I started writing it for Nanowrimo 2016 because "well, it won't be that hard now will it". I had a character--Beela, 22, introvert, ace--and a premise--go to other worlds to collect things--and it has since bloomed into something much bigger.

This turned out a lot longer than I was expecting, so I added a read more.

I finished the "book" 13 months later at 320k words exactly. Don't worry, it's getting split into three books, maybe four because the worldbuilding I did in 2016 leaves a lot to be desired.

For a long time I hated Beela-the-character because they were all of my negative traits turned up to 11. People loved them anyway and I was baffled. Turns out, Beela-the-character isn't irredeemable, they're just depressed and autistic like I was. The plot may be about going to different worlds, but they actually learn that it's okay to be sad and you can still have friends, which is what I desperately needed to know at the time.

My main group is Beela, still 22, still introverted, but found the courage in book two to come out as enby. They have the power to move people between worlds, a feat called blitzing. Nona is their best friend (though at the current re-write spot, she did just make a huge mistake), a sweet, bubbly girl. She can feel and manipulate emotion. Maisie...oh Maisie. Maisie is 6' of anger management problems and I love her so much. She definitely got suspended in school for starting fights and she's the only one of my humans who's actually going to college. Her power is strength; she can use magic to make herself very strong, usually when she's upset. Santo is a soft boy, the youngest but also the most knowledgeable about magic. Vadeen is my "tough guy". On Earth he's got a motorcycle and a wisecrack, but he's pretty out of his league now that they're not on Earth anymore. His power is catching on fire when he gets mad. Last is Ellis. Honestly, I kinda hate him because he represents every generic guy that my friends have ignored me for. He doesn't get a power, though he can still use magic.

I also have extensive...aus? It feels kinda weird to say I have an au of my own work, but I have a lot of stuff I've written out about them that's not related to the plot at all. I mean, like, 70k of Santo/Vadeen cute stuff, 15k of Santo/Vadeen having a terrible breakup, 25k of the group living together after the events of the story and even a few dozen words of Maisie getting a very sweet boyfriend named Dominic.

As for what captivates me, I'm going to go with characters. The plot is just an excuse to play with characters. I like to put my guys in a Situation(tm).

#thank you so so much for asking me about Beela!#I love talking about it #it's been so instrumental for me learning I can like what I write #that you can be “annoying” and still loved #I made Beela to be an annoying character and people still adored them #they actually came out before I did #writing #writeblr #beela baby #cheadar sauce #asks

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mariacallous · 1 year

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Dagestan has long been a reliable source of personnel for the Russian army. In peacetime, while eligible conscripts in other regions would seek ways to evade mandatory service, young men in Dagestan would pay bribes to enlist. That’s not necessarily because they were eager to experience military life; a stint in the army is effectively a prerequisite to getting a public-sector job, and government service is the best-paying and most stable career track available in the region. But Dagestanis have shown far less enthusiasm for the military since Russia invaded Ukraine last year — and it’s no wonder, given that they were drafted in disproportionately high numbers, and that Dagestan lost more residents in the first few months of the full-scale war than almost any other region of Russia. After Putin announced mobilization in September, Dagestan had some of the country’s largest protests, prompting a brutal police crackdown. With the war in Ukraine approaching its one-year mark, a journalist from the independent Russian outlet iStories went to Dagestan to see how residents feel about military service, mobilization, and the war in Ukraine. In English, Meduza is publishing an abridged version of the dispatch.

‘We’re used to respecting the authorities’

We’re in an addressless one-story building in a small mountain village in southern Dagestan. An older woman named Patimat is sitting in an armchair behind a wooden table and dicing pieces of cow liver. She and her daughter-in-law started buying the cheap protein source from their neighbors back in the fall. Chickens and ducks roam around their property, but the family doesn’t eat those anymore: “Those are the meat pies we send to my oldest son, who’s at the front.” Forty-year-old Ramadan was drafted in September.

“To be honest, I still can’t tell if he wanted to be called up or not,” Patimat says. “But the draft order came. A lot of people here got them, by the way. Not everybody went.”

“What other option did they have?” asks the iStories correspondent.

“Some people paid the doctor, while others paid [the enlistment officers] directly. They told everyone the price right from the start,” answers Sabiyat, the wife of Patimat’s youngest son. “That’s not something we respect… Nobody respects cowardice. Ramadan said that if he hides, and if others hide, who will be left to protect the motherland? Doesn’t somebody have to go? He’s always been a real man.”

Sabiyat’s own husband is exempt from the draft due to health problems.

“Are the rest of the men really looked down upon now?”

“At first, yeah, that was the case. But then ‘the rest of the men’ became our whole village, except for our Ramadan,” Sabiyat says. “And things died down.”

“They died down,” Patimat repeats, rubbing her bloodshot eyes.

When Vladimir Putin announced mobilization, Ramadan was off working in Moscow. When he learned that a draft order had come for him, he immediately went to Derbent to “figure everything out.”

“I asked him to wait ten days so he could pack, spend some time at home before going to war, and give us time to talk,” his mother says. “He said, ’No, I’m going right now.’ Well, inshallah [God willing]. It’s up to him. I worry about him, of course, but I supported my son. What makes a man beautiful, if not his courage?”

In the five months since Ramadan was drafted, according to his family, he hasn’t received a single payment. Patimat paid for his body armor, helmet, and warm clothes herself; she transferred 50,000 rubles (about $670) to the bank account of “one of the commanders.”

None of Ramadan’s relatives know where he is. Their phone calls with him are so short that they haven’t even been able to ask whether he’s received the homemade food they’ve sent him.

Suddenly, the iStories correspondent hears children laughing: four-year-old Zakhra and two-year-old Ibad, Ramadan’s niece and nephew, burst into the room with a toy dump truck. Sabiyat lifts Ibad up into her arms to feed him some liver.

“Even our kids know about war,” she says. “On May 9, at the kindergarten, we always used to have to bring camouflage uniforms.”

“What about now?” asks the iStories correspondent. “Are [the kindergarteners] still told about the war, like elementary school students are?”

“I don’t know. We’re used to respecting the authorities,” Sabiyat says, lowering her voice. “And the kindergarten teacher is part of the authorities. I can’t ask her about anything. It wouldn’t be appropriate.”

‘You’re the ones going off to die for me’

From a cursory glance at the streets of any Dagestani city, it would be easy to think that Russia hasn’t been waging war against Ukraine for the last year. Most of the food products that have disappeared due to Western sanctions have been replaced by their Turkish or Iranian equivalents, and the stores that have blue and yellow IKEA signs hanging out front were full of locally made lamps and Turkish carpets even before the war.

It’s not rare to see “Z” symbols around the republic, but they’re definitely not as common as in Moscow. The only exception is southern Dagestan, where pro-war stickers adorn storefronts, cars, and restaurant windows.

Zarifa, a civil servant in the southern city of Derbent, proudly tells iStories about how she recently sent 205,000 rubles ($3,346) to volunteer fighters in Grozny.

“They started to thank me. I said, ‘What are you thanking me for? You’re the ones going off to die for me, for my security!’” she says.

In the fall, Zarifa and some of her friends started sending meat and hingels to the front. One of her colleagues involved in the initiative, Farida, starts to cry as she talks about it; her brother has been at the front for months now.

“Sometimes, we don’t hear anything from him for months at a time. Evidently, they don’t give them access to their phones,” she says, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief.

“Are you crying? Doesn’t the government give him the equipment he needs? Is he hungry? Is he sleeping in the cold?” Zarifa asks sharply.

“I’m not complaining, of course. He’s doing fine. As fine as he can be,” Farida responds.

Zarifa’s husband doesn’t have to worry about getting called up; he’s a high-ranking security official. Their eight-year-old daughter studies in a prestigious private school, where, in addition to gymnastics, dance, and English-language classes, she attends Russia’s government-imposed “patriotism” class: “Conversations About What’s Important.”

“Mom, do you know why the Ukrainians are angry at us?” her daughter asks when she gets home from school. “Everybody left the country to come to Russia, and the government got offended — so now they’re waging war against us. And I hate their president, Zelensky, too!”

“That’s my smart girl,” Zarifa says, giving her a kiss. “I try not to discuss politics at home, but her school shapes [her views] too. The other kids probably had people [from their families] go to the front, as did their teacher. And now Jamila hates him [Zelensky] — for making our people, from Derbent, have to go there.”

‘The Quran prohibits it’

Dagestan’s capital, Makhachkala, was the site of one of Russia’s largest anti-mobilization protests, which lasted for days. Law enforcement responded brutally to the demonstrations, using stun guns, batons, and pepper spray to disperse protesters, arresting at least 200 people. In the days that followed, the local Investigative Committee opened at least 30 criminal cases.

On September 25, more than 100 people blocked the Khasavyurt-Makhachkala Federal Highway near the northern Dagestani village of Endirey. Police ultimately fired guns in the air to make them leave.

One of those protesters was a 38-year-old Endirey resident named Gulyusa. She told iStories that she didn’t want her husband or her sons to die in a war that she doesn’t support.

“My heart began to ache back in February. I thought that, in Dagestan, everybody would condemn the war; after all, there’s not a single family who didn’t lose someone in the Chechen [Wars],” she says. “And that’s basically what happened. Nobody supported it, and everybody hoped it wouldn’t affect them. My youngest son is still 14. It’s not clear how long this will last for, but I hope it’s less than four years.”

After Gulyusa’s oldest son, 19-year-old Musa, received a draft order, the family decided it was no longer safe for him at home, so they went to Makhachkala. Now, unable to enroll in a university or get an official job, he works under the table assembling furniture. When he comes home to join his family for a meal, he travels incognito, always using other people’s cars.

And though her youngest son, seventh-grader Ilyas, is too young for the draft, the war has affected him, too.

“Today, there was almost nothing for me to do [at school]: we had free time instead of P.E., and I don’t go to ‘Conversations About What’s Important,’” he told iStories.

“Just you?”

“No — almost nobody goes,” he says, laughing. “At first, the school tried to fix it by going through our parents, but the adults themselves say that these lessons aren’t really school; they’re not subjects like math or English, so we shouldn’t be required to be there. I went to two [of these] lessons in September. One was about cosmonauts and the other was about Russian songs. Usually, I go for a walk during that time, or eat breakfast at home, or study biology. I want to become a doctor.”

“Maybe by then, they won’t be drafting doctors anymore,” Gulyusa says with a sigh.

Gulyusa’s family goes to an elderly mullah whose family continued practicing Islam throughout the entire Soviet period. Nowhere, he’s told her, does the Quran say that Muslims are required to protect non-Muslims, so — from a religious perspective — nobody from Endirey is obligated to go to Ukraine. On the other hand, the mullah says, the Quran does prohibit murdering innocent people, placing it on par with killing all of humanity. “If a man fears [obeys] Allah, he won’t go [to fight in Ukraine],” the mullah has said.

“The mullah isn’t afraid of the consequences? It sounds to me like he’s turned a lot of people [against the war],” asks the iStories correspondent.

“Everyone in Endirey will stand up for him,” she says. “What can they do to a respected man like him?”

‘Allah should help’

Islam, an Avar who lives in the Dagestani city of Khasavyurt, and his wife, a Chechen woman named Aishat, wanted to join the September protests, but they simply couldn’t make it: they’re raising seven kids, all under the age of ten.

One of Islam’s younger brothers was drafted, and he didn’t try to resist. According to Islam, he’s a “straightforward, honest person, so when the order came, he went [to the enlistment office].” The family hasn’t heard from him since October.

“It was a sin for me not to save him; I’m the oldest,” Islam laments, rocking his newborn son. “I probably should have hidden him. Our imam said afterwards that it’s more shameful to kill a non-Muslim on his own land than to hide in your home.”

The family can’t afford to emigrate; one of their daughters was born with cerebral palsy, and they’ve spent all of their savings on her treatment.

Ibragim, another one of Islam’s brothers, runs a shoe shop in town together with a friend. A draft order came for him in September, but he tore it up. He says he’s not afraid to stay in Khasavyurt.

“Some people were saying that the imam would keep the recruiters away from all of his students, though I don’t know if that’s possible without paying,” Ibragim says. “On the other hand, Allah should help, I think. If you refuse to go kill people because of your faith, then you’re on a certain path that the state has no power over.”

* * *

After the trip to Khasavyurt, amid talk of a new round of mobilization, the iStories correspondent received a call from Ibragim, who was now in Uzbekistan. He said he decided to help Allah protect him, and that he now plans to wait things out while abroad. He’s promised his brother and his business partner that he’ll return as soon as possible.

“I mean, it can’t last another year,” he said. “Can it?”

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willowistic22 · 2 years

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Random newsies headcanons i haven’t gotten the chance to use in my fics or rant abt (Albert edition). This is really family relationship oriented but some are just my boy albo being albo.

Some are fluffy some are angsty. I’ll put trigger warnings in the tags. Enjoy:)

Canonically, Albert has two older brothers. I have affectionately named the first one Nathaniel and the second one Theodore

The DaSilva household strictly uses each other’s nicknames. Nathan, Theo, and Al. By simply calling their full first name means they’re in trouble or made someone mad.

So we all know it’s only the three boys and their father because their mother had died from cancer. Albert was only 10, Theodore 14, and Nathaniel 17.

Their father pretty much closed up for a good few days after the funeral, so the boys only had each other for the most part.

Mr. DaSilva (lord knows what his first name is, not me. Don’t @ me for that lolz:D) bounced back eventually bcs he is their father. And he knows the three can’t run the house on their own.

With his wife gone, the family loses another source of income. Fortunately, Mr. DaSilva was graduating law school around the time Mrs. DaSilva died.

He’s a veteran. He left the Air Force when they found out they were having Al. He worked his way up to get a law degree so he can be a law consultant. He was luckily hired in a law firm that allowed him to work from home for the most part, which means he’ll have time to look out for the kids.

Mrs. DaSilva used to work from home. She was a health consultant after not making the cut to get into any desirable pre med majors. But she still found her dream life. A loving husband and three kids.

Albert loves to reminisce on his parents relationship. It was like being in a romcom movie. Al wld never admit it out loud, but it’s his dream to find something like what they had.

Even after getting that law consultant position, Mr. DaSilva opened up a burger joint with all of his homemade recipes to make sure their income would be enough for him and his sons. And it’s always been a dream for him to open up his own restaurant.

Nathan helps out as well being his father’s business partner. He first joined the air force, following his dad’s footsteps, but left when he found out his wife (affectionately named Olivia) is pregnant with their second child. He went to business school to further his knowledge.

The DaSilva brothers handled the grief of their mother’s death in different ways. Nathan kept himself busy. Too busy sometimes. Theo got addicted to drugs. He doesn’t usually get easily persuaded to do anything he doesn’t want to, even by his own friends, but that grief really struck him pretty bad. As for our boy Al, he pretty much concealed all of his feelings. Thinking that if he didn’t feel it, he won’t have to deal with it.

(Boy that was angsty. In my head that fits well so again don’t @ me)

But Albert actually grew to learn that his way of grieving isn’t healthy. He learned that from his friends, albeit not the most well informed ppl in the world since they are still kids. It mostly went like ‘i think it’s better for you to talk abt it’

Bcs like, he fell into a depressive period months after his mother’s funeral. He went to therapy to help him out.

Racer was the one who actually convinced him to get help. They met in the third grade and have been inseparable ever since

His family had noticed the change after Al went to therapy. Bcs when he was still numbing himself from after the funeral, he lost the light of joy in him. Which is odd bcs between the four of them Albert was always the most cheerful one, since he is the youngest.

The family was more than glad they got the old Albert back. Puberty might have rocked with his emotions but he still has the tiniest naive nature that brings the family together.

Always reminiscing on the days they shared with their mother, smiling at all the things that reminded him of her, and frequently getting the family to visit her grave.

Not even his dad wanted to visit for awhile, not wanting to cry in front of his boys. Despite all three of his boys knows full well how much he feels abt it

Mr. DaSilva never got married again. He’s content with the life he had when their mother was alive and what comes after that. Especially when he got around to actually handling that grief with a proper therapist.

He also got that push from when he found out Theodore fell into addiction. He overdosed and Albert found him just in time and it shook him real good.

(Idk why i think this is all so fitting for the family but yeah don’t question too much into it lol)

So through grief of his mother’s passing and guilt of his brother’s addiction, it’s safe to say Albert isn’t in a good place for quite awhile. Especially seeing that he’s growing to be a teen yaknow. He ended up continuing therapy for more than just that grief.

Luckily he’s got great friends. As mentioned before, he met Racetrack in the third grade. But he also met Hotshot and Spot in middle school. That was when his family had to move to Brooklyn for a year to stay at a relatives’ house, seeing that they weren’t really financially stable.

But by the time high school came around, he was back in Manhattan and met the rest of the newsies there. Albert is still close friends with Spot and Hotshot though.

The new friend group he gained in high school helped him out a lot. He’s got a bit of a low self esteem yknow, but his friends are great help.

They’re also a great support system seeing that his home life isn’t entirely rainbows and sunshine for a good while. The older he got, the more he understood things, and the more depressing things just seems

Theodore isn’t necessarily doing great either. After that OD, he struggled to stay clean despite his promises to the family. It sorta ripped the family apart, with Nathaniel and their father fighting with him over it.

It wasn’t pretty with Nathaniel and his wife Olivia either. Nathan likes to be kept busy. Whether it’s the family owned restaurant, the Air Force, family shit, or his business school. She felt a bit neglected and had to raise their first born daughter on her own, so yeah that’s fucking stressful.

So this gives a reason for Albert to get out of the house and go to their house. As a way to escape the shitshow and to also play with his niece. He’s a great uncle yall. He was surprised by himself that he even likes kids in the first place.

Olivia also became like an actual sister. Or how Albert would call her, Via. They grew quite close. Maybe because Albert misses his mother, or that he misses having a family that got along.

In Olivia’s place, he could just pretend that the family he had there was the only family he got. A loving older sister and a cute baby sister. You could imagine how overjoyed he was when he found out another baby was coming.

Out of all of his friends, Racetrack was the only one who knew the most abt his home life. In competition with Hotshot and Spot, and he got the upper hand because Race lives a lot closer.

Race wonders often why Albert just never said anything about his true feelings to the family. Which he could, seeing that he doesn’t like taking other ppl’s shit. Albert knows if he joins in the fight, it’d just get worse. And it already is seeing that the family still sees him as a baby brother.

He keeps himself busy for the most part. Doing regular teenager things. Getting okay-ish grades and joining his school’s basketball team. His father wanted him to join the football team, but Albert despises football with a passion.

Every year for the NFL, Albert’s family hosts a big get together. He always makes an exaggerated point of how much he doesn’t care abt the damn sport but still goes for the food. And also the rest of his family will find it rude if he isn’t there.

His immediate family knows and doesn’t mind ofc regarding his hate for football. They think it’s quite funny how he pisses off a lot of the uncles by doing absolutely anything else other than watching the NFL during those get togethers.

So yeah, Albert still deeply loves his family. It’s partly bcs of his mom. She was very family oriented. Loved freely and unapologetically.

He’s definitely a mother’s boy compared to his brothers. But obv he still loves his father dearly.

It’s even on his face. Nathan and Theo look more like their father whilst Albert, though shares the same face genes as Mr. Dasilva, carries the soft shapes and edges of his mother. He even inherited his mother’s acne prone skin which he found out when he hit puberty.

His father told him it’s natural to get acne, seeing that he’s in his hormonal teen phase. Yet Albert still feels insecure. His face is ridden with a lot more acne than most of his school friends when he was in middle school and sometimes get made fun of for it.

So he grew to learn about skincare for that sole reason. He’s always trying new brands to see what goes well for his skin.

Al has always been close with his brothers, but notably Theo. Nathan always felt a bit absent since he’s always keeping himself busy. His wife can tell him that (dw they eventually work things out hehe).

Which is why it was earth shattering when he OD’d. It’s a lot worse when Al found out Theo didn’t have any intentions in staying clean after going through rehab.

Ever since they found out about his addiction, as mention before, it kinda tore their family up. Especially his relationship with Nathan.

Nathan is known to be more strict and bu the rule type of guy and Theo felt like he was being controlled by him after being released from rehab.

But he did end up getting clean. Slowly but surely with his own method by slowly phasing it out. His father and Al were really supportive, but Nathan isn’t entirely on board after him rebelling against him.

Theo ended up going to college and getting a degree in statistics and became a data analyst. He works remotely and lives in a van because he likes to travel and go on roadtrips.

Albert likes Theo the most for those reasons, and also because he is around the most. He thinks he’s so cool and has always been by his side the most.

Albert also ended up convincing hus dad to adopt two big dobermans before he entered high school. Two girls, Zoe and Zara, and they started out as small pups.

Then they turn into two big dogs in no time. He and his father trained them together and they became very well behave dogs. He loves them dearly.

Okay, this was kinda messy and long lol soz. Hope yall enjoy the headcanons if you end up reaching the bottom!!

#newsies #albert dasilva #albert dasilva newsies #headcanons #albert newsies #tw death #tw grief #tw cursing #tw drugs #tw drug addiction #tw addiction #tw od #tw od mention #holy shit that’s a lot umm

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msommers · 2 years

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lil baby intro post for riya ⚔️ because she's been confined to the dms for a hot minute. fellow players don’t click read more if you wanna avoid spoilers i guess lmao

smol pinterest section for vibes

her playlist is ridiculous spoiled party princess energy and i love it

born 2:84 glory in cumberland, nevarra which is!! part of the free marches way back when so that’s fun

the youngest child to duchess priscilla de clairmont and her husband loren. only daughter with four (4) whole older brothers, the oldest being born in 2:71. mama duchess is Huge in the city, controlling a large portion of its businesses and having a grand web of connections. aside from that, the family is known for its origin of nobility back in 1:16 divine during the second blight, when valeriya de clairmont (aka riya’s namesake) helped defeat the darkspawn in the battle of cumberland, earning her and her family an elevation into nobility. ((this has nothing to do with anything, but it’s important for me to know that everyone know her husband’s name is toussaint de clairmont and i’ll go to my grave happy with that absolutely troll of a name))

her magic manifested when she was 6 years old, inherited from her father and shared with one of her other brothers, magnus. she struggled with her studies, both magical and regular, and had a hard time getting better at it until her dad found out she's Vastly better once the "learn by doing" motto is in play.

she was given magic lessons by her father for a handful of years due to the nevarran circle having been wrecked in the recent past. her mom the big business baron made a deal with the circle and the new palace that she had constructed for the family was instead given to the circle, which riya then moved into and began proper circle teachings. she didn't Hate it but she didn't Love it, way too much reading went on for her liking :///

fell in love with the idea of becoming a participant in the free marches grand tourneys after her first attendance, immediately dedicated herself to one day being one of the mages participating in the event. started studying like mad to the surprise of everyone and trained hard, becoming a knight-enchanter as she saw it fitting and easily the most fun. a magic sword?? to use in a tourney??? c’mon bro, you Know there wasn’t any other choice

has extreme rich party girl energy due to her immense privilege as both the duchess’ daughter and living in the nevarran circle where they’re almost. ridiculously chill compared to literally everywhere else. she is only inside that building when it is absolutely required, otherwise she’s out spending time with family, attending social gatherings/events, or with a lover.

speaking of lovers!!! got herself a boyfriend after hooking up with another participant in the 31st tourney. in a totally unchill move, she was then framed for his murder at the end of the next tourney :/// mommy duchess was able to keep her from being immediately punished tho she was still held in prison, and eventually when it became clear that they wouldn’t be able to get her out of it, riya’s dad and older brother busted her out of there. she was sent on her way with a stupid big amount of money and was probably expected to just lay tf low for however long it took and eventually meet back up with family, but she’s a little idiot who makes it maybe a month and a half at the most before being caught in [insert location here, probably outside of nevarra tho].

cue entrance of grey-warden recruiter and his companion who invoke the rite of conscription to save riya from any imminent transportation back to cumberland for punishment. which to riya as of right now is just another form of punishment as she’s spent about two decades trying to Not follow her family’s footsteps and instead just live her life for the vibes

now for a collection of images that i think match riya’s energy pretty well just bc it’s fun:

#ch: valeriya de clairmont #a v serious and in depth intro for the girl #i wrote this late at night and didn't include every detail but it's good enough #she was created with the specific intention of having immense character growth and i love her <3 #(edit: this wasn't supposed to post now but y'know whatever lol)

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dearlordsanta · 2 years

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For Better or For Worse in Sickness

It’s been a while since I posted on here, I think because it’s been helping, so I don’t feel like I need to do it as often. I’m going to commit to doing it more regularly though because on the off chance someone is reading it and it’s helping in any way, shape, or form, I will continue. This is a long one, so buckle up.

First, I want to talk a little about my relationship with my husband. We’ve been together for almost nine years and married for just over four of those years. When I met him, I was two years out of an on-again/off-again relationship and was really struggling with it, so I wasn’t looking for anything serious. He and I worked for the same company, but at different retail locations. One day, I was asked to cover at his location, which is how we met, and we both did something a little quirky that made it easy to joke around and have fun at work that day. We both carried our Nintendo 3DS in our back pockets to collect Street Passes. We were both teased by coworkers about it at our respective locations, so we bonded over the 3DS and this odd little quirk of ours. He also made fun of how I spoke due to the odd colloquialisms I used. He left a lot earlier than I did that night, but I figured since we got along so well, I should see if he has social media so we could stay in touch, so I decided when I got home that night, I would search for him.

When I got home, even though it was very early in the morning (about 1am since the store was far away and it was the holiday season and all that), I booted up my laptop, got on Facebook to search for him, and noticed I already had a friend request from him that he had sent when he got home from work that night. I quickly accepted and sent him a message. To my surprise, he was still awake and responded immediately.

We spent the next few days messaging back and forth from the time we got up until we went to sleep, and even made plans to hang out in a shared day off we had coming up in about two weeks’ time. We had decided that he would come over and play Mario Kart (he had been bragging about his mad skills and I wasn’t too bad myself), then we were going to see a movie we both wanted to see and go to a popular local diner after to talk about it. The week before this hang out, he said that since we were hitting it off so well, he wanted to make this hang out a date instead. I was really skeptical about this. I wasn’t sure I was ready for a relationship or anything, I had been on a few dates since I had broken up with my previous boyfriend, but never felt ready, so it never went passed date two. I liked this guy and didn’t want to miss out on a really great friend if this dating thing didn’t work out. Plus, this hangout was starting out at my parents’ house playing Mario Kart with my dad and my youngest sister! It felt wrong (lol). So, I told him all that. He said if it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out, but there was no harm in seeing where it went.

I was nervous about it, so I knew he had been a type 1 diabetic his whole life, so I did research and learned as much as I could about it. I figured if we were going to be spending time together, I should know more about it, so I was prepared. (He was very touched when I told him later that this was how I prepared for our date.)

The date went really well, in case you didn’t guess. It took me a few weeks to get on board with making it official, but after two weeks, we were officially ‘dating’. We’ve been together ever since. He’s one of the funniest people I know and we’ve helped each other grow into better people. We had a lot in common, but the best part about our relationship is our communication. It sounds hokey, but it’s true. You can’t have a good relationship with anyone without good communication whether it’s a lover, a friend, a parent, or a sibling, it doesn’t matter. Good communication is always important.

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know my husband is ill. About a year after we got married, he started to get sick and now he’s been unable to work for several years at this point. Within that first year of diagnosis, he gave me an out. He said that he was in this for the long haul, it wasn’t going to get better and he knew I wanted to have kids and he wanted me to be happy, not to suffer with him. I told him that my vows meant something to me. I married him for a reason and I wasn’t going to leave just because it was going to get harder. This was not an easy decision. I have wanted to be a mom more than I’ve wanted anything in my entire life, but with the way things are, it’s just not feasible. I am still frequently dealing with that part of it, especially as I get into the latter part of my “childbearing years”, but I’ve been working with my therapist on that because, as I said, my vows mean something to me.

He has Diabetic Gastroparesis which, to put it simply, makes it hard for your digestive system to do its job. Symptoms include vomiting, nausea, abdominal bloating, abdominal pain, a feeling of fullness after eating just a few bites, vomiting undigested food eaten a few hours earlier, acid reflux, changes in blood sugar levels, lack of appetite, weight loss, malnutrition, and fatigue. This has made it very hard to control his blood sugar levels, which has its own side effects, and the weight loss makes it even more difficult because that causes the amount of insulin that he needs to take to fluctuate.

The worse thing that can happen with chronic diseases, is having one that not many doctors know anything about. For years one of the worse symptoms for my husband has been fatigue. He sometimes sleeps for 14-16 hours a day and is still exhausted. Sometimes he sleeps more, sometimes less. He’s always in pain, but that fluctuates too. On good days, he’s at about a 2 on the pain scale and on the bad days, he can’t even move...I always say those days are a 12 on a scale of 1 to 10. He has been told for the last three years that he needs to get used to it because this is the way life is now and he should be able to manage it enough to work. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Recently, our PC doctor recommended a new gastro doctor who has been wonderful. He is the first doctor that has listened to my husband and agrees that his symptoms are not within the norm and the new doctor is fairly certain that there is something else in play here. This alone has improved the mental health of my husband exponentially.

During one of his good days last week, he got online and did a ton of research on his elevated fatigue. He found that he has almost every symptom of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome are fatigue, problems with memory or concentration, sore throat, headaches, enlarged lymph nodes in your neck or armpits, unexplained muscle or joint pain, dizziness that worsens with moving from lying down or sitting to standing, unrefreshing sleep, and extreme exhaustion after physical or mental exercise. So, he pushed himself and went to our PC doctor one day to talk about it. She agreed that it was possible and ordered bloodwork. Bloodwork came back today and according to those tests, he was right. He was so relieved.

You may think relief is a weird thing to feel after having a second difficult to handle chronic diagnosis, but what you need to understand is, that when people have an “invisible illness” or “invisible disability” they are constantly having to defend themselves. We get a lot of eye rolls, uneducated advice, and hurtful statements such as “he’s just being lazy” or “he just doesn’t want to work”. We’ve received treatment like this from family, friends, co-workers, and strangers on the internet. Tell us he just needs to go outside and push himself to exercise when he feels like he can’t move and to “just eat” because it’s “not that hard”. Sadly, this is not likely to stop with the new diagnosis.

As hard as this whole journey has been, and will be, I am glad I decided to stay with my husband. Having someone in your corner makes a huge difference. As hard as it’s been going through this together, I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if he was going through this alone. I had to push him for over a year to get a third opinion because all the doctors were saying “this is your life now, get used to it, and get back to work.”

A lot of people ask me why I stay if I am so frustrated and sad all the time. Like I said, my vows mean something to me. I married this man for a reason. I don’t believe in destiny or fate because that would mean there is a reason behind the terrible suffering some people have to go through, and I can’t believe that.

I love my husband. Part of the reason I write here is that if I vent out how upset, frustrated, angry, or sad I am about all this, it hurts him. He has enough to deal with, he knows how I feel, and it’s not worth putting him in a negative environment. Part of the reason we’ve gotten this far is that I don’t vent my daily frustrations out on him.

“Rebellions are built on hope.” So, I rebel against the negative feelings and frustrations so that we may have hope that things will get better one day, and he can have a better quality of life.

#RebllionsAreBuiltOnHope #Diabetic #Type1 #Gastroparesis #ForBetterOrForWorse #InvisibleIllness #InvisibleDisability #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CFS #JournalVenting #EducateYourself #MentalHealthIsImportantToo #CommunicationIsImportant #Communication #LaughTogether

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papirouge · 7 months

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I was never kicked out of a church or youth group before, but I was kicked out of my local pro life group.

I already felt uncomfortable being the only black girl but nobody was mean to me at the beginning. I wear my hair natural so a few girls would like to ask about it. Although one girl I saw had braids in. Straight, thin blonde hair. You know where this is going. She thought she ate and always acted up around me. It was awkward. Didn’t surprise me when I saw her right before I left the group with a shaved head because her hair couldn’t be saved.

Ok, my experience at this group was weird and bad. I noticed quickly how FOCUSED the leader (much older white lady with a strong southern accent) was on children and rape. Like, she was obsessed. Something in my spirit was telling me she wasn’t right.. I got bad vibes from her. She would always talk about raped girls, always very young girls on how they must always have babies because they’re women and women are meant to have babies. First time I got called out was when I said something like “well, no, because we’re talking about A CHILD. A child was raped always if she is pregnant and a child is NOT a woman. *A child can never consent to sex* ” That older white lady snapped at me saying “Yes they can” and I honestly think God told me immediately after hearing that, that lady was a p3do. Who is that obsessed like that. I stayed in the group a bit longer but I felt more uncomfortable with the topic of kids and sex coming from her. I got called a Cuban communist (???)once by this ugly man who never washed his hair and always had crusty toothpaste around his mouth for wanting to create a pool of money to help pay for a few women’s prenatal healthcare because he said “those women don’t need help, they need to learn responsibility and not open their legs.” Um? Sir? First all, why you here? Second, the baby and mother both need help? Why be mad at all? Some women are abused and escape an abusive ex who were forcing abortion. Thankfully we did a little fundraiser, maybe four or five of us. This group was not organized. Felt more like a hangout at a church then a organization. Because this is the usa, gun violence was a topic we talked about. Surprised that a lot of girls were against guns and owning them in the house. A few liked them because they were from the country side. I lost family and friends to shootings so I don’t like any gun. But that older lady loved them and always blamed democrats on shootings. One time I was talking about moving to Europe like France to a girl because I want my future kids, either adopted or I have them naturally, to be safe in school and outside. That older lady overheard me and had to tell me that schools don’t owe me my child’s safety. Other people backed me up since the girls in this group mostly were older gen z/youngest millennials and we were raised on school shooting drills. The older woman got quiet and wanted to change the subject but we kept going. That lady had enough that day. When we finished our meet up, she asked me and only me, to leave because she didn’t think I “fit with the group’s dynamic.” I said fine and this woman looked shocked that I just left. I’m not to going beg for forgiveness or to stay. I did get some texts from a few girls I talked to there about what happened when I didn’t show up next time, so I let them know. One of those girls texted me “yeah that makes sense :( [group leader name] mentioned after you left one day how much she didn’t like wokeness in the group.” Asked her what she meant and this girl just said “yeah idk lol you know she’s old and that’s how she was raised! Don’t worry about it :) she still has a sweet heart”

That was a lot of unpack. I’ve since moved and moved on.

Oh boi, these "how did i get kicked out of my church/pro life group" stories always deliver and I'm so happy I made this post xD (of anyone reading this has any story, my inbox is open📨)

I think pro life/church women obsessed with virginity need to be studied. Like, borderline pedophilic obsession. Pedophile talking point is that children can consent to sex and are inherently sexual (hi Kinsey!), so this old lady arguing that young girl are at fault for being raped makes sense.

That Pearl grifter seems to be extremely obsessed with young virgin women. Probably because her body count is on double digit lol

And yeah, as a child born in France, the risk of school shooting is nonexistent lol We only do evacuation exercises for fire. I always said Americans were extremely politically stupid. I'm glad I'm from a country with a dozen of leftist party to grasp that leftist≠ communism.

"school don't owe children safety" is psychopathy but at least she's saying out loud what every pro gun (conservative) thinks ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

#answered

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