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#the moment i saw him i was fascinated and over the years his character has aged like a FINE fuckin wine
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not to out myself on main but Katsuki Bakugo continues to make me fucking insane
#there is a REASON he's in my list of top five fav characters#that boy makes me RABID-#literally hes the only reason ive kept up with the manga. that and ive stuck with it for so long i wanna see how it ends#anyway just finished pacing and ranting and Decimating an apple bc. be cause.#i saw someone go 'wait bakugo is save to win?'#YES! YES! HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN SAVE TO WIN HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER IS SAVE TO WIN#HIS ACTUAL BATTLES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FOCUSED ON SAVING#I HAVE BEEN SCREECHING THIS AT MY CEILING FOR YEARS HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN SAVE TO WIN!!!!#marking him as Win To Save is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character IM SORRY IT IS. IT IS#he has ALWAYS focused more on saving while izuku goes straight for the enemies' jugular#god. hes just. FINALLY BAKUGO GETS TO SHINE and Everyone gets to see who he really is im feral#the moment i saw him i was fascinated and over the years his character has aged like a FINE fuckin wine#its so rare to find a character with such stellar development. like damn. fuck. hes catnip to me#he started my love of analyzing the fuck out of characters and striving to understand them the best i can#punching a wall and wailing YOU DONT KNOW HIM LIKE I DO#honestly if i ever did a video essay it would be on him. and why he's such a good fucking character#say what you will about bnha but god damn he's phenomenal. horikoshi really went tf off with him#BAKUGO BBY IM SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK ITS BEEN SO LONG <3#absolutely unprompted#i literally. i literally got a bkdk charm keychain#both bc yeah theyre iconic but also i could not resist the bakugo on it. hes too cute#i finally feel excited for the manga and the story again bc MY BOY IS BACK IN THE GAME LETS GOOOOOO#cant wait to see him absolutely slay serve Steal The Spotlight#stg hes gonna save all might AND take down afo while broccoli boy handles McCrusty#lets go bakugoooo LETS FUCKING GOOOOO#WE ARE SO FUCKIGN BACK BABEYYYYYYY#bakugo? no. bakuback!!!#BC HES NO LONGER DEAD ON THE GROUND YEEHAW HAWYEE
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prismarts333 · 7 months
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Why Rayfrog works so well
DISCLAIMER: I will spoil the entire of the Netflix adult series "Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix."
Tw// torture, drug use, sexual themes, graphic violence, Angst, and fascism
Rayfrog is a fascinating ship for me personally and one that I and many other Rayman and Laserhawk fans have gravitated towards. Two characters represent two very different IPs, both aesthetically and thematically. However, when framed in the context of a story that uses cyberpunk as a framework to craft a narrative of revolution to discover a crack ship with legitimacy and the tragedies they might overcome if season two is ever greenlit.
If you're reading this post, you've most likely watched all 6 episodes of captain laserhawk on Netflix. (if not, please watch it! It is so good, and I want season two in my VEINS)
Let me just get this out of the way: despite all the edgy memes about sushi on anthro cows and snorting cocaine and promotional trailers depicting him as a villain due to not having a game in over 10 years, this Rayman is NOT the Rayman from the games. This AU version of Rayman makes sense as most Rayman fans already know what the character is like, so seeing him in an assumed villain role was the perfect hook for the advertising.
In this universe, Rayman was a celebrity and mascot for Eden. Using a nonhuman and nonhybrid to be the face of Eden, they can use Rayman without fearing immediate backlash. And even if they did, they can silence the ones that do. They can do all that while also lying to Rayman about the actual info, and they also have the added benefit of Rayman believing it.
Which makes his realization of all the false propaganda he was spewing hit harder because Rayman, in the games, would always protect the little guy, and now he was suppressing them with a smile on his face. And he learned all of this from a hacked message telling him to seek a frog for the truth.
And that frog just so happens to be declared a terrorist by the same company that lied to him for who knows how long.
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Meet bullfrog! Despite him being an original character based on Assassin's Creed rather than his role being taken up by one of the Assassins in the series (like the Assassin he's based on), Ezio. It makes his rise to fan fave all the more incredible. The team also saw this potential since he had a whole trailer dedicated to him before the show came out. And it's not hard to see the appeal. He's the most emotionally mature character in the series. Has some of the best moments in the show, gets the job done, and is voiced by the creative director Balak. Some argue he and Rayman carried the show.
The way Bullfrog tells Rayman the truth also adds to his character as well as Rayman. He's not angry at him; he doesn't even yell at him. He even gives him juice and tells him the truth. He reminds him about how he became Eden's poster boy. He tells him that he was right for being upset, and he got silenced for it by the people he was working for. And even got Rayman to open up about his backstory. And most importantly, he showed him the horrors of Eden's propaganda and how Rayman was advertising a fascist regime. That was the moment Rayman realized how bad he messed up. However, the damage was already done he sat by and let an entire system ruin the lives of so many even the frog that told him everything.
So what does Rayman do? well for a lack of better terms, he became Rayman again but things are so much different now.
With a new resolve, he went directly to the higher-ups to ensure that Bullfrog wasn't executed permanently even though, as bullfrog says in episode 3,
"Be wary of the path to vengeance. That tree will bear bitter fruit"...
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the season ends with them alive but their fates are unknown at least for now...
With all that stated, let's discuss why people want Rayman and an Assassin Creed frog to smooch each other.
Combine the fact that both of these characters are nonhuman with the fact that they have the best voice performances of the whole show, the implied character importance and arcs for both of these characters, and the fact that they both have the potential for concern and chemistry (I mean look at these shots after Rayman got bodied by a xenophobe).
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Shows the lengths to which the show wants these characters to be happy together, but like the other prominent gay couple in the show, Dolph and Alex, I fear they're trials both must overcome if they want to be together. This includes but is not limited to Rayman coming to terms with being an accomplice to a capitalist hellscape company, the bomb that's still in Bullfrog's head, (Maybe some internalized homophobia for Rayman if the writers want to get spicy), bullfrog's past that hasn't been fully revealed yet, the fact that the aesthetic of this whole show is cyberpunk a genre of storytelling that NEVER has a happy ending for anyone, bullfrog's code of honor, what happened to globox and rayman’s other friends, and EVERYTHING WITH UNIVERSE X. Fans latch on to those theories like a moth to a flame for hurt comfort and fluff fics so much potential to be wholesome and/or tragic depending on what the writers want to do in season two (if it gets greenlit).
You also have to take into account the paratextual context of Rayman ( a dead IP that only recently got closure from the Rabbids that buried him back in the 2000s in the form of DLC) and an assassins Creed character ( a franchise that's currently running and returning back from its roots from what I've heard) being in the same room talking about both of them are used and even abused by Eden (Ubisoft). That incentivizes fans to write complex fics and theories on these two.
In conclusion, this pair not only has the potential to be a healthier ship compared to Dolph and Alex or even be darker and more tragic than that. And this ship has the added benefit of being a commentary on classism, IP usage, vengeance, and revolution.
TDLR: PLEASE WATCH THIS SHOW. I NEED SEASON TWO, I NEED CLOSURE, AND I WORKED TOO HARD ON THIS POST FOR THIS SHOW TO BE CANNED."
UPDATE: Apparently, the original Raymon transformation clip got taken off YouTube, so I decided to clip the scene from a compilation video.
Here's the original link
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dreamchasernina · 2 months
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So since the fandom has come back to life and there is not enough Kataang content on this app I will start sharing my two cents. Yay.
I want to start off by saying that as the show was airing, I, as a 10 year old, did kinda ship Zutara. Let’s face it, that scene in the catacombs was a turning point for a lot of shippers. But that was before I saw the final season a couple of years later. When I rewatched the show as a whole, as a teenager I was over Zutara, honestly their interaction kind of felt awkward to me, because they were enemies for so long. So I was all for Kataang. Now, that I’ve rewatched it for like a 1000th time, as a 28 year old, I finally see Kataang for the amazing pairing that it is.
Anyway, I’m not here to hate on anyone, you can ship whoever you like, and I love Zuko so you will not see me slandering his character here. Plus I don't feel the need to hate dump on a character to make my ship feel superior (*cough* unlike some Zutara shippers *cough*).
Ok, so. I feel that when people think of Katara, and her part in the show, they remember her as the responsible one in the group, the "mother" of the group, the sensible and caring one. Yes, when Katara’s mother died she had to step in and take the responsibility of the mother in the family, like Sokka says in the Runaway, and that stayed with her throughout the show. But, I hate that that’s the only thing she’s remembered for, because that’s just the result of her trauma. I feel like most people ignore a very crucial part of her character. Yes, she is the responsible in the group, but when she gets a chance to just be a kid, that's what she is.
People forget about the fun loving side of Katara. The one that goes penguin sledding and remembers how she hasn’t done it in a long time because life hasn’t allowed her to. The side of Katara that gets obsessed with Aunt Wu’s prediction because she is just a regular girl who’s fascinated by her love life, and dreams about what her future husband might be like. The girl that tries flying on the glider with Teo. The girl that relaxes on Appa and lets the hippie girl braid her hair, completely forgetting about the next task in their journey. People forget the side of her that dances in a cave, forgetting about the war and just enjoying life. Let’s not ignore that whenever Katara has a chance, she just enjoys being a kid, not just a badasss waterbender travelling with the Avatar.
And when Katara brings that side out, you know who’s right by her side? Aang. He’s not just by her side, he’s the one initiating those little fun moments. Penguin sledding is his idea, he’s the one to remind her that even though she’s been through a lot, and has a lot of responsibilities, she’s still a kid. He’s the one to organize the dance party, in a middle of a war, in the enemy's terrorory, he still finds a way for them just to be kids. And she’s right there with him, dancing. He’s also taking part in her obsession with Aunt Wu, not belittling or making fun of her faith, but taking part in it. Also sitting right next to her in a flower crown and enjoying the music the hippies play.
You cannot ignore that part of Katara, the part that shines when she’s comfortable, the part that just wants to be a regular kid and have fun. And that’s the part that Aang brings out in her. He’s the Avatar, the weight of the world is literally on his shoulders, but he still finds a way to enjoy life and be a kid, even after going through the worst trauma you can imagine. And he’s there to remind her that even if you’ve experienced the worst, you can still find joy in the little things. She literally says in the first episode - Aang brought something we haven’t had in a long time - fun. And that’s what he brings to her, this light, and that’s why she’s so drawn to him.
Isn’t that what we want for Katara, after the war is over? To just let herself be a kid, not to miss out on that part of her life, now that she doesn’t have to worry about their survival? And the best person to bring this joy and childlike wonder back into her life is Aang. And that’s why I think that Aang is truly the best one Katara could have ended up with.
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thelostgirl21 · 7 months
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Okay, I felt like this post (by @panur & @underthebluerain) deserved some visuals, so people could really understand and truly appreciate just how dramatic the difference in body sizes and shapes between these two gorgeous, absolutely lovely men, is!
And just how skilled the costume design team is, on the show, when it comes to giving the illusion that a character is much smaller (in Jaskier's case) or much larger (in Radovid's case), than their actors actually are.
There was an incredible post, a while back, that really explained how those wizards work their magic!
And it's utterly fascinating!!! Seriously, if you haven't read all of that yet, I highly suggest you go and take a look!
But yeah, when you look at the way their clothes have been designed this season, there's definitely been some attempt to make Jaskier look generally smaller than Joey Batey really is, while making Radovid look generally bigger than Hugh Skinner really is, too.
A few examples (with my extremely humble interpretation / things that have grabbed my eye when I look at their costumes. Please bear in mind that I am but an humble fan with no experience in costume design, so there's probably tons of stuff I've missed, and/or I might have misinterpreted some of those designers' intent):
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Then, of course, there's Radovid's cloak that just... triples his size or something!
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So, when you look at them side by side with their clothes on (even without the cloak), there really doesn't seem to be such a huge difference in body size and shape between the two.
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Why are they so pretty though?
Like yeah, you do get the sense that Radovid might be a bit leaner, and that he has a longer torso, perhaps, but it's not THAT dramatic of a difference...
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As soon as you get them out of their costumes, however...
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On that last gif, you can really see that Joey's roughly the same height as Henry Cavill, and get the sense that he'd probably fit really well in a Witcher's armor, too!
Technically, their heights are listed as: - Henry Cavill: 1,85cm (6 ft 7/8 in) - Hugh Skinner: 1,83cm (6 ft) - Joey Batey 1,82cm (5 ft 11 5/8 in)
So, Joey's like 1 1/8" smaller than Henry and 3/8" smaller than Hugh.
Since I'm ½" taller than my own partner and virtually never realize it, I doubt they'd notice that 3/8" difference between them.
But yeah, one of the really funny "side effects" of costume designers being so good at their job is when you somehow manage to forget about it while watching the show and then this happens:
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and your brain needs a moment to re-calibrate its settings because you're like "Right! Buff bard! Right... 6 feet tall really strong looking damsel in distress that keeps complaining Geralt could break him like a twig, when it would be something closer to splitting a log!"
Makes you wonder if people in Jaskier's family are just... naturally muscular or something (lots of fast-twitch muscle fibers?!)?
Because, while Joey is apparently into climbing, kick boxing, swimming, fencing, medieval sword fighting, etc.
Jaskier complained about needing to walk down the path of a mountain on his own, because his fancy boots kept sliding.
He does a lot of traveling and walking, sure... But that doesn't really help you develop your upper body / pectorals / arms, etc. in such a way!
Unless he just... likes the way those muscles aesthetically look on him?
You know, I really wouldn't put it past him, now that I think about it...
Over the years, Jaskier has just developed his very own calisthenics workout routine to build and maintain his looks, but feels the need to hide it.
Because "body fitness" is not exactly a popular discipline on the Continent at that time.
People tend to train to learn how to fight, or develop muscle mass while working the land or their craft, not because "they like the way those muscles look on them when taking their clothes off!"
So, Jaskier wears clothes that hide his actual body shape, since he's afraid that, if people saw and noticed how built he really is, then they'd just assume he knows how to fight and defend himself, when he doesn't.
People might stop shoving him out of harm's way, pulling him behind them to stand between him and the danger, coming to his rescue, etc.
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And, since Jaskier's whole ongoing survival sort of depends on people spontaneously stepping in to save his sorry arse, well...
In the bedroom, however, the added bit of upper body strength and endurance does wonder when you want to be able to fuck someone against a wall while keeping their feet off the ground (for example).
Being able to lift and carry more than your own weight definitely has its advantages...
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As Radovid has no doubt found out...
And, if the prince turned out to be a bit lighter and easier to carry around than Jaskier was initially expecting him to be, you definitely won't hear him complaining, either!
Although, I must admit that part of me also likes the idea that they might have been able to accurately "size each other up", so to speak.
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Radovid's just there looking at all the lines and proportions on Jaskier's pants and shirt, while figuring out where his shoulders and arms actually stop underneath; being both fascinated by the actual size of Jaskier's body, and the choice of clothing design that's making him look much smaller than he appears to be (if his calculations are, indeed, correct)...
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While Jaskier's just looking at all those layers covering Radovid, while attempting to get a rough estimate of the total naked weight underneath, and for how long he could keep him lifted... Hypothetically... For science...
But even there, there's a huge difference between knowing those clothes are playing with your perceptions and briefly getting a mental glimpse of what you think might be closer to the truth... And actually gazing upon or getting your hands all over said truth!
Because sincerely, no amount of me trying to look at this while attempting to make abstraction of the whole illusion created by the clothing design:
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is successfully going to be able to make me see this:
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Hence why I tend to forget about it, and need a moment to re-calibrate almost every single time Jaskier winds up getting shirtless!
Seriously, just look at the bottom gif of him shirtless, then at the top where he's got his clothes on a few times, one after the other, and try to tell me that you're able to visualize where all of that body at the bottom is managing to fit in there at the top!
It's like part of it literally went missing!
So, even if Radovid had managed to guess that Jaskier was a lot buffer than his choice of clothing was letting on, and vice versa, I'm thinking they'd still have been in for quite a bit of a surprise when they actually got each other's clothes removed!
Therefore, that headcanon would still work, regardless of Jaskier and Radovid having guessed that each of them used their clothes to make themselves appear less threatening, or more imposing than they really are.
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cbk1000 · 4 months
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So what exactly is it about Merlin and Arthur that make them so ship-worthy, sparking million-word fanfics? Why does it remain one of the most popular fandoms? Why do you never seem to tire of them as a writer? (Not that I am complaining or anything. I just find the loyalty fascinating considering how much new stuff is coming out every day).
Bradley and Colin and their chemistry together as performers certainly is an important aspect of the popularity of that specific ship, but I think the endurance of the Merlin fandom as a whole is due primarily to two main things, which are: that tragic ending, and the unrealised potential of the show.
The primary consensus amongst Merlin fans if you ask them about a piece of media they're still obsessing over, twelve years after it ended, is, "BBC Merlin is terrible; it's so good." The premise and characters are interesting. There are some absolute banger lines. There are bits and pieces of it that are good. But as a whole, it's a muddled piece of trash (I still love you, BBC Merlin, don't worry). Uther is a tyrant who has committed literal genocide, and they make the main villain a woman who is a part of the oppressed class of people that he's indiscriminately murdering. Women in general get to be one of two things: love interest, or moustache-twirling villain. Arthur grows as a person only for the writing to immediately walk back that growth, usually for a cheap joke. The major narrative arcs, the most familiar, identifiable aspects of Arthurian legend in the cultural consciousness (Lancelot, the love triangle, the fall of Morgana, Mordred's betrayal, etc.) are either barely present (see: Lancelot's two seconds of screentime) or completely devoid of believable character motivation (see: Mordred suddenly turning on Arthur because he executes a woman who committed terrorism who it turns out was someone Mordred knew as a kid and completely forgot about till the moment he saw her in her jail cell).
When something is, in some ways, quite good, and in a lot of other ways, hot garbage, it leaves a wide-open sandbox for fans to play in. I think if the show were much more well-written, and consistently so, the fandom would have died out years ago. But instead, we never saw the Golden Age of Camelot. We never saw Albion united. We never saw Merlin and Arthur reunited. We were left, at the end, with one main character dead, and the other centuries later still waiting for a person the show literally describes as his other half to come back to him. People haven't moved on because they spent five seasons watching a silly, stupid family show to see its main character fail at what he was literally prophesied to achieve and hold his best friend while he died. We don't even know for sure in the end that Arthur came back to him. We see Merlin alone, in modern day, at the lake, still waiting for him, with no indication that Arthur is rising again. And for people watching the show as it aired, the BBC delivered this nut punch on Christmas Eve.
I think it's about what the show didn't do, and the space that creates for fans to come in and do it themselves, over and over again.
Also, personally, I'm trying to self-soothe.
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cheshiresense · 8 months
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Hi Cheshire! Thank you so much for the Yuzu snippet! It was SO great. I LOVE how fucked up the Kurosaki family is (wonder what Isshin thinks of this? We saw a glimpse but like... Is he an outsider and tolerated because he's the Only Adult Around?). I! LOVE! Poison!Yuzu! It's so great, makes so much sense. Also the easy way everybody was like "Ah, yes, OF COURSE the bowls are poisoned." So Neat. So Fucked Up. Being real I came for the ShinIchi but the UraShinIchi is The Best Trio and I am SO here for it. The fact Ichigo has NO idea he likes Urahara? Amazing. The fact that Shinji is SO LONG the favorite? ALSO amazing. Usuallly with the trio it's almost always the other way around or UraShin incorporating Ichigo later, so It'd be nice to see how this mechanic develops.
I also love "Mizuiro-niisan." Cute and terrifying. I wanna know what you have prepared regarding Mizuiro, he was always one of the most fascinating characters in Bleach taht wasn't 'part of the plot' so to speak (c'mon, dude knows how to make a fucking Pipe Bomb and has a harem of older women. There's A Story. (Also does he still have the 'harem' here or...?))
Anyway thank you for the chapter
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! Lol Isshin is very much the outsider to his own family after Ichigo neutralized him, they're basically like two strangers who happen to live in the same house, and even then, Ichigo went and got his own apartment once he had the contacts for it. I wouldn't say he set out to alienate his sisters from Isshin, so long as Isshin wasn't hitting them too, he doesn't really care what their relationship is like, but considering Ichigo's also been pretty much raising them single-handedly for the past 6+ years, they're bound to learn from him when it comes to Isshin too. Plus they do remember the way Isshin used to smack Ichigo around before Ichigo put a stop to it. So anyway, the twins still talk to Isshin and let him be his loud dramatic self around them but there isn't really any love coming from their end when it comes down to it, and they live with their brother at the apartment half the time anyway. As for Ichigo, he actually doesn't hate Isshin or anything either after the man left him to his own devices and doesn't bother him anymore. And yeah, the fact that he's the nominal adult of the house is still useful since Ichigo's still underage. It's just that he also very much wouldn't care if Isshin kicked the bucket tomorrow.
The Urahara/Ichigo/Shinji is also a surprise to me lol. Tbh, I didn't really have a ship in mind when I first started this AU, but UraIchi is my otp so naturally if there is a ship, I'd go for that. But then I wrote Shinji, and suddenly ShinIchi became a lot more probable, and then I wrote the Yuzu POV and Urahara elbowed his way back into the race. So the most likely ship now would be UraIchiShin lol.
The UraIchi dynamic actually turned out pretty interesting in this 'verse cuz this Ichigo is the type to get rid of anything that irritates him. If it's annoying and cuts into his time, he's not the sort to put up with it. And yeah, Kisuke's strong enough with enough connections that if Ichigo wanted to off him or even just threaten him like he did Isshin, it would be really difficult at the moment, but at the very least, he'd still work towards it, and he wouldn't spend any time with the guy. But here he is inviting him over for dinner and letting him properly meet the twins and just generally tolerating his presence, something he's never done with anyone else before, and it's a toss-up whether he's even really aware of the exception he's making. And on Kisuke's part, he doesn't know Ichigo well enough yet to realize how much leeway Ichigo's given him.
This Ichigo is just Grudgingly Fascinatedᵀᴹ by this cryptic bastard making his life a lot more complicated than he'd like, but is also strong and smart and offered his life up on a platter the moment Ichigo asked for it like it's tradeable currency so whatever he wants Ichigo to do in exchange has to be something even Urahara can't do himself, and Ichigo has just enough curiosity for that to add to the fascination pile just as much as it adds to the annoying asshole pile. Meanwhile, Shinji's just chilling with his poison rice, and Sakanade thinks Ichigo is yum with an adorable kitten for a sister. TLDR they're a trainwreck in the making but a pretty entertaining one.
I'm not sure what I really want to do with Mizuiro here yet but I'm definitely giving him a powerup in the future, he's Ichigo's best friend here, as much as Ichigo or even Mizuiro can have friends, and Mizuiro is absolutely ride or die enough to invade Soul Society with him. Plus I'd like to see what I can do with a character who's not exactly a frontline fighter but not a healer either like Ichigo's canon friends.
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bronx-bomber87 · 3 months
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Happy Monday Wonderful fandom. Are you still breathing after that little kiss teaser? Cause I was gonna pass straight out when I saw it haha We are a little over 3 weeks away from S6 premiere. Can you believe it? I need it to be Wednesday already for that trailer. Feels like we've been in this hiatus for years LOL But let's get back to the rewatch eh? Ahhhh the Valentines episode. So much goodness inside this one. From start to finish this ep is glorious. I knew from the promo alone was gonna be fantastic. The ep name is pretty apt. Off we go.
5x16 Exposure
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We hit the ground running in this one. Just a glorious shot of them sleeping in Lucy’s bed. The many ways I love this. Clearly he’s living there part time at this point. Staying over more often than not. If the man has a key i’m sure he has a drawer at her place as well. No way he doesn't at this point. My guess is Kojo having lots of sleepovers at Auntie Genny's with the kids too.
I love how peaceful they look in this shot. His body pointed towards her's in slumber. His head is damn near on her pillow. So close to one another. That gravitational pull just innate. Even when Tim is sleeping he is drawn to her. Just the little things that make me squee so very much. The domesticity of this moment has me reeling. As does this entire season for them really.
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Unfortunately their peaceful co-habitation is interrupted by Lucy’s phone going off. Tim groans sleepily. Asking who it is? Lucy says she doesn’t know as she goes to answer it. It sounds like a drunk dial. Lucy hops out of bed immediately. Tim reaching out to her side of the bed is so cute all sleepy. I vote for more sleepy Tim. Asking half awake if it was wrong number?
He watches Lucy moving in a panic and the sleep drops from him. Asking her what’s happening? Lucy informs him It was a distress call from a UC she trained with. We see Tim go from sleepy to fierce protector mode quickly. Hopping out of bed ready to back her play. He doesn’t even know what’s going on but he’s there for her. My damn heart. No hesitation whatsoever to back his girl up.
It’s written all over Lucy’s face how much she love this. Her appreciation and love for this man so apparent as he scrambles to join her. She didn’t ask him to and that’s what she’s loving here. He was coming whether she asked for it or not. He’ll always have her back. No matter the scenario. Also never be over the jammies and sharing a bed. I wanna squee into my pillow haha
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Something about Lucy driving Tim’s truck that is doing things to me. Like another version of wearing his clothes. I love it sfm. Tim waiting in the backseat with his gun at the ready. Phew lord started off this ep strong af. Lucy jumps right into character. God she’s good at this. She gets Noah out of trouble fairly quickly cause she’s a Queen. Lucy gives Tim the all clear to get out of the truck. Noah walks up and introduces himself to Tim.
Mentioning it was impressive she got backup this fast. Lucy proudly announcing it helped he was sleeping in her bed. Heh. Yeah he was. Noah then puts it together saying he’s THAT Bradford. So many questions stem from this statement I have to say. Clearly Lucy spoke about Tim ad nauseam at UC school. Not only that but the way she spoke about Tim Noah doesn’t seem shocked they’re together now. She clearly wasn’t with Tim during UC school so this is so damn fascinating to me.
I wanna know what she told Noah LOL As does Tim. Saying he’s curious to know what that means… Getting a small taste of some jealous Tim here I don’t hate it. I adore Lucy’s full bodied ‘No!’ in reply to Tim wanting to know more. Gotta love how expressive Melissa is. From her face to her body mannerisms. Why she’s always been the perfect Lucy. Just embodying her so well. Also am I crazy to think that’s Tim’s flannel? Cause looks a little big on Lucy. A girl can dream right? It’s possible...probably isn't but I want it to be LOL
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Lucy asks him what they just recused him from? He says ‘The Army of Freedom.’ It’s a militia group born in Victorville. Said his OP started about a month ago. Unfortunately hasn’t been able to breach their inner circle yet. Tim asks if he pushed little too hard tonight? Noah replies maybe…but he had to roll the dice. They’re about to move something big. He’s going to need a local assist.
Tim says he can set up at their station. We then get to see a little more jealous Tim come into play. I don’t hate it everyone. He’s also a little grumpy from the lack of sleep. Ha Not loving the 'hot pants' nickname clearly. Tim then makes the most obvious and dramatic eye roll at end. Clearly not amused by this inside joke of their’s in the least ha It’s ok love, you’re the only hot pants she wants. LOL
Jealously thy name is Tim Bradford in this scene though. He runs the gambit for emotions at the end here. He goes from confused in the cutest way about the nick name, then a little intrigued, but we end with his jealous dramatic eye roll haha I love this man so much. He is tired and over this rescue now. Goodness what a great cold open for them. Whenever we get the cold open usually gonna be a damn good ep.
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I’ll never be over how excited they both get when they find each other in the station in this season. Way she speed walks up to him. It’s so cute. Lucy hears the end of Tim’s conversation. All she hears is ‘You’re kidding.’ Lucy asking kidding about what? Tim’s clipped answer throws her off for a moment. But she doesn’t let it deter her too much. Touching his arm sweetly. Saying he left so early. That she had a whole Valentine breakfast planned for them. Gah I love that so much I can’t even stand it.
Of course she did. Damnit Tim why did you leave so early? Tim telling her she was up late he wanted to let her sleep in. Which is very sweet actually. Lucy apologizes but says it was nice to catch up with Noah. Lucy asking ‘We didn’t keep you up did we?’ Tim continues his grumpy short replies. Lucy is picking up on all of your being grumpy vibes. Did you think she wasn’t going notice you beautiful fool?
Love of your damn life knows you better than you know yourself. We get a SECOND sweet arm touch. *squee* Clearly something off with him. So Lucy approaches it with another soft touch to start. Knowing it’ll get his attention. Then sweetly asks if he’s ok? He lies and says he’s fine. Her face saying it all. Knowing he’s lying to her she’s just not sure why… Believe or not this is growth for Tim. His terrible lying showing how much she’s opened him up. He was as closed off as possible when they met. Now he's out here expressing feelings even if he's trying hard not to.
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Grey has Tim ride with Lucy and Noah today. Normally they’d be excited to ride together but you can feel the tension above. Mostly from Tim. He is an open book about how he feels about this today. Lucy is more concerned than she is tense in this scene. Wade wants Metro on scene ASAP for this situation. If he’s riding with Lucy and Noah that’ll happen. They’re looking for a random van that has explosive chemicals in it. It was meant for a meth lab Noah’s team took down. Now it’s floating around the city and needs to be found before it does damage.
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Another great shot of their day starting in the shop. Reminding me of 5x08 opening sequence. Lucy can see Tim is acting off still. Being Lucy she can’t let that stand. Having no idea it’s her that’s put him in this foul mood. Being the sunshine human she is tries to get him to engage with some UC school stories. I LOVE her putting her hand on the back of his chair. Crossing that invisible line of theirs that existed for years in the shop.
Getting as close to him as possible without actually touching. When Lucy sees the story isn’t working she makes a joke. Then touches his shoulder. Gah it’s so cute. She wants to get him through whatever this is by just loving on him. Trying to get him to smile. Sadly Tim doesn’t respond like she wants. Thought she was going to get the normal sassy reply back from him and nada. Lucy withdraws her hand confused but determined to figure him out.
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Lucy brings up Noah’s GF asking if he’s contacted her yet? He says no they broke up. Well that she broke up with him. Noah bringing up the elephant in the room that plagues them the rest of this season. Being a UC and being in a functioning relationship. I do adore Lucy being confident af in front of Noah about it. About them. Saying it depends on the couple.
Basically saying I’m sorry yours didn’t work out but mine will. She is all in and it shows in so many of her comments and decisions. I truly love it so very much. Noah makes a comment that has Tim shifting in his seat. Even turning the grumpy off for a moment. Looking over at Lucy when Noah tells her be a shame if she didn’t take the plunge.
So much being said in the looks above. The ever present issue they struggle to talk about is here. Rears its ugly head for first time since they got together. Gotta love Eric and Melissa’s chemistry especially in moments like this. Communicating so much without saying a damn word. Gah we’re lucky to have them.
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This next part is glorious for so many reasons. Angela, Harper, Nolan, Celina and Aaron are all gossiping on an open channel. Tim interrupts because well it’s Tim. He’s already grumpy today so this is last thing he wants to listen to. Angela calling him out for being so damn surly. Because she wouldn’t be his best friend if she didn’t. Saying he should be basking in the glow of new love.
Look at Lucy when Angela says this. Heart eyes for days for that man sitting next to her. As transparent as glass. Celina giving into the continuous gossip asking what they’re doing tonight? I love Lucy snatching the radio out of his hand. Even mad as hell at her he allows it because it’s wifey. Nothing he wouldn’t do for that woman angry or not. Lucy projecting what Tim is thinking. Saying they’re not talking about this on an open channel.
Look at how he has rubbed off on her I love it sfm. Also something about her jumping in and defending his side. *sigh* Gah getting me all in the feels. Also look at the way Lucy is looking at him when she does chastise the group. So in love with that man. Heart eyes nation in this shop. We can also see Tim fighting a proud smile wanting to stay mad. When he’s so impressed with her for doing that. Let’s not discount Noah being chill af in the back. None of this affecting him whatsoever LMAO
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Lucy can’t take it any longer and confronts Tim about it. We can see her studying his body language. Noticing how tense he is. He is broadcasting his feelings like a radio station. She knows something is amiss. Deep in her soul she knows something is off with her person. Love the way she is studying him then reaches out with a soft touch. Knowing it’ll get his attention and be an ice breaker into her asking. Her whole demeanor screaming 'Timothy my love what is going on?'
Lucy being as direct but soft as she can in her delivery. Telling him ‘Out with it.’ Tim ridiculous answer of ‘What?’ Like she hasn’t noticed him stewing all damn morning. You’re full of a lot of shit Timothy haha The disbelief on her face is so telling. Asking him what’s wrong with him today? He continues to be short with her. Lucy calling him the hell out on it. In a way only she can.
Noting he hasn’t even called her hot pants once. If Tim wasn’t being such a grumpus he would’ve been all over that. She is so right and knows him so damn well. Then she asks if it’s Noah? Is he jealous? Tim immediately saying ‘No.’ I mean it was a little last night…but it’s definitely not that now. It’s not helping but not the main problem here either.
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Tim FINALLY fesses up it’s her he’s mad with. Lucy is taken back but it becomes clear when he brings up Metro. Lucy tries to deny it and Tim gives that disapproving stare he’s so good at. Lucy giving in and saying he was SO miserable riding the desk. That she had to do something for him. Tim then shoots back the optics of it aren’t great for him. Lucy shutting this down asking if it’s fragile male ego thing? I mean it is a little bit. It's not the whole reason IMO (I'll touch on that more later) but it is part of it. Tim has grown leaps and bounds. Truly he has.
But he also still has to deep stubborn steak in him. One built on pride and earning everything he’s ever gotten. This is making him question if he deserves the position he now has. Negative grooves in his brain he still defaults back to. Now I know some may have hated his reaction to this. I won’t lie it wasn’t great. His reaction reminds me of myself pre-therapy. I would shut down and be one worded. Lash out if someone tried to get me to talk. My whole body would emulate frustration and annoyance. Just like he has been. I so relate to him reacting this way.
Once again not the best but the man is still human. Tim has earned everything in his career with hard work and his strong skill set. This was a blow to his ego 100 percent. He’s not admitting to this but it was. Lucy smells BS and is letting him know as much. I love how she holds steady and strong despite his boiling anger. Even making a joke Tim is just mad she solved it better than him LOL I mean she did…Lucy saying ‘We’ just wanted to help. Tim getting more ramped up hearing this. Lucy cracks me up stumbling on her words saying we? I meant Me. Ha smooth…
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This scene in his office is *chef’s kiss* I remember being excited this was their first fight as a couple. Because it’s so healthy to be fighting from time to time. Something neither of them had in their previous relationships. This was an important fight for them to have. They come out the other side of it stronger because of it. This is good angst. Productive fighting. I’ll take that any day damn if it moves them forward as a couple. This most definitely did.
Lucy comes into his office ready to confront this problem head on. Their talk in the shop leaving too much left unsaid. Lucy is a lot like me and can't let sleeping dogs lie. She has to clear the air and confront things. I do love her patting herself on the back as she launches into why she did what she did for him. I mean she did spearhead a miracle for him. She just needs him to see WHY she did it.
His anger has clouded that all day and it's part of why she is here now. Tim barely looks up from his paperwork as she starts her explanation. Still so angry about this whole thing. Lucy starts out with saying she gets why he’s angry. He looks up at her finally. Lucy going on a mini rant about why she did what she did. That she did it masterfully (I mean she most definitely did) Kudos to her amazing brain.
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Lucy finishes off saying despite all that she shouldn’t have done it behind his back. Tim being a sassy sass pot asks if that was an apology? My goodness Timothy. The salty sass. You can see there is still a lot of seething going on under the surface. Lucy immediately says yes. Tim not seeming less mad just replies ‘All right.’ Her apology feeling like it's made zero difference in his anger about what's happened. Also Lucy's 'Yes' doesn't seem whole hearted either because she's holding back and decides to let it rip instead.
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We see this is not sitting right with her. So she backtracks and says ‘No!’ I love her for this. Could've taken his half hearted acceptance but she didn't. Knew it didn't feel right to her. She wouldn't be Lucy if she just let that happen either. Knowing things felt unresolved still and not being able to stand that. The whole purpose of her coming to him was the clear the air. Tim looks exasperated af with her reply. That famous he can't believe she just said that look. He's about to be taken to school and probably knows it.
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Lucy launching into exactly why she is sorry but not sorry. I love this fireball of a woman. (So does Tim) That he never would’ve let her work her magic if he knew. She’s not wrong… Same goes for her. If Lucy had known he was taking that desk job she wouldn’t have allowed it. What makes these two dopes so perfect for one another. That she would’ve ended up transferring just to save him from himself. Which was what they were trying to avoid in the first place.
Lucy stands her ground and lets him know this worked out SO much better. I mean it really did. That if he can’t see that she’s sorry not sorry. This is where we see Tim turn the corner. What I love the most about this part is how she stood up so confidently. Strongly stood by her decision on what she did. Her sorry not sorry is perfect. Basically saying ‘I love you, you idiot and I don’t regret doing this for you.’
It’s not the apology that soothes Tim’s anger. No it’s her conviction in why she did this for him. Seeing that fire she has and he is feeling so lucky he gets to have her in his corner. Lucy is 100 percent unapologetically herself in this moment. Her standing up to him is one of the many reasons Tim fell for her in the first place. So naturally her ‘non’ apology is what gets it done. Not her I don’t really mean this but you’re mad at me one.
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He loves that woman standing in front of him so much. It shows when she’s done. It’s why he’s smiling at the end of her ‘non’ apology. She is his rock, his compass and his sunshine lighting his path when he needs it. But mostly she is a guiding force in his life. Kicking him back onto the right path whether he realizes he needs it or not. Beautiful thing is she has his back. He’s so not used to this type of love and support. It's a throw back to 2x01 in a way with his reaction to it. How visceral and angry he was then and now. Once again doesn't see her protecting him and helping him as a positive thing. And just like in 2x01 he didn’t see it this way until she stood up. Smacked some sense into him. Let him know why she'd done it.
Doing it this time around because she loves him so much. Only wants the best for him. Let's not forget this man has been put second in all of his other relationships. His needs being put on the back burner to take care of those he loves. Had to suppress his emotions for years. When you let yourself start to feel after years of not it's a tidal wave that drowns you. It's overwhelming really. Luckily Tim has Lucy to drag him to dry land. So when he's taken care of he doesn’t know how to handle it. It's not something you just get used to in an instant. Just like in the beginning with Lucy when she would push him to open up. We got surly angry Tim but he eventually came around. This is no different. He isn’t used to be put first. His gut reaction was hurt and being defensive.
Not oh Lucy did this because she loves me. Because he probably in the back of his mind still doesn't feel worthy of that love still. And although he has grown. So very much. He still isn't used to having someone fiercely love and defend him the way Lucy does. That's why this scene was so important for her to back her decision. To make him see exactly why she did this. It’s why he’s smiling at the end of it. This beautiful, driven fireball is his and she’s in his corner. What’s hitting him is that realization. She put him first and put in a massive effort to do so. Not only for him but for them as a couple. He is so very lucky to have someone as wonderfully understanding as Lucy to love him through these types of moments.
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I love how once the dust is settled they just morph back into them. How it should be. Fighting is meant to be cleansing. To confront the issue and then be done with it. Confrontation gets a bad rap. It’s meant to clear the air so both parties feel better after. Her cute. ‘So are we going to dinner or what?’ Haha They already missed her breakfast. She wants to do something with her man.
Tim couldn’t be cuter saying they are. But her outfit is missing a little something. Lucy being very confused by this. Saying 'What?' Then seeing the jewelry box in his hand and melting like butter. Tim could not be cuter handing it to her. Love struck as he gives her his gift. Telling her ‘Happy Valentines Day.’ The biggest grin on his handsome face. Lucy beaming right back at him. Her eyes screaming how much she loves this man.
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She is so impressed with him. So impressed she’s shocked he picked this out LOL He knows his girl. Tim is offended asking her if it’s that shocking? Lucy soothing his ego saying ‘No.’ Letting him know he clearly has good taste. I mean he does. He is in love with her after all. He really did a good job. That is the perfect Lucy necklace so he nailed it. The man has noticed a trend is what she wears. Well done Timothy. Your girl is mighty impressed with your gift giving skills. How far you've come since your days with Rachel ha
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It’s so intimate and sweet the way he puts it on her. Lucy is radiating joy as he does this. The way she looks at him while he puts it on and slides his hand down to adjust it. *heart clutch* She is revved up and wants to skip dinner now. More than ready to ‘Thank’ him for her gift. I love her being the one to suggest just skipping dinner and having her way with him instead. Tim saying 'No I'm hungry.' Lucy is feeling a little rejected like ‘Oh. Ok..’
Tim doesn’t let that feeling linger for long. Touching her back intimately mentioning she’s gonna need fuel for later. OMG. He just said that and I’m reeling. I rewound it I remember being so damn giddy. Basically saying she needs fuel to keep up so he can have his way with her. Tim Bradford talking about sex in his office. Not only that but they’re gonna have so many rounds he wants her fueled up. *fans self*
Lucy’s face is everything afterwards. She is blushing but also so ready for their night together. Man has some pent up tension to burn off but needs food first LOL Lucy is very ready to go to dinner now. Especially knowing what awaits her when they’re done hehe I can only imagine how antsy she was to get back to either his or her place following that dinner. I love how the writers constantly insinuate their sex life is spicy and active af. I adore it so much. I mean did we really expect anything less? Doesn’t make me love it any less though.
Anyone else just in shock we got all these goodies still? I keep saying feels like a fever dream because it does. In the best way possible. After last episode this was start to finish incredible.
~~~~
Side notes-non Chenford
Wesley accidentally hiring a beautiful woman to guard him is hilarious. A non pregnant Angela wouldn’t be amused. A very pregnant one is ready to wring his neck.
Celina’s murder case gets brought back up. This SL is so good. It was my turning point for her as a character I needed that to care and give her more depth.
I did love how all the couples started off rocky and ended up fine by the end was growing a little from it. I do love Nyla and James so much.
Thank you forever and always to those who like, comment( love dem comments) and reblog these. S5 been so fun to analyze thank you all for still being invested in these all these months later. See you all in 5x17 :)
69 notes · View notes
rcksmith · 2 years
Text
All versions of you — Five Hargreeves
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You can find the 3 request here: anonymous 1, anonymous 2, anonymous 3.
Resume: Years on The Commission made Five Hargreeves commit horrible atrocities, massacring his humanity and robbing his chances to belong to somewhere. Somewhere stable. But all the torture they put on his soul every day, was all worth when he found in that agency the one thing he knew he would love irrevocably until the end of time: You. But all that love hadn't been able to stop the separation when he returned to his family, when the breakup was inevitable and took the last spark of happiness from him. Forever. Surviving the end of the 1960s world, and finally accepting that a reality where the Sparrow Academy existed was better than messing up the timeline all over again, Five was prepared to find everything in that chaotic place, except the one thing that could bring him to his knees: You.
And like Ben Hargreeves, you didn't remember any Five.
Angst Prompts: 
8. “Why can’t you just look at me for one god damn second!”
10. “don’t touch me!”
13. “we can’t go back in time, so stop trying to reverse what you said.”
17. “stop making empty promises!”
Fluff Prompts:
28. “You’re not going to leave me alone, are you?” “Not.”
33. “I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”
39. “You’re more than that.”
51. “I promised to love you forever.”
Smut Prompts:
19. “You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.
27. “Can you help me with this zipper?”
75. “Tell me what you like.”
Couple: Five Hargreeves /Fem!Reader.
Warnings: arguing, swearing, mention of murder/blood, A LOT OF ANGST, fluff, smut, dirty talk
Word count:
A/N: Spoiler from season 3. I changed some details of this season too, but just to make sense of the story.
Because I have a lot of requests in my box, I compile 3 orders that are similar and put together, but I took care to added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down.
We not tolerate any pedophilia here !! I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter, MHA and others fandoms.
English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.
Requests are  OPEN. Love you ❤️
——–
There was a kind of evil joke that ruled the lives of Five Hargreeves, from their birth until now, 28 years later. He didn't believe in God, fate or luck, but the cosmic irony of his life was too palpable for him to totally rule out higher beings involvement. Beings whose greatest delight seemed to be seeing pain strike Five's Egyptian blue eyes.
His soul has always been constantly tortured. The relentless search for Reginald's approval and validation, the excruciating loneliness of the apocalypse, the longing for his family - or just the voice of an acquaintance - the brutal slaughter he had to commit to The Commission every day. Every day.
Five Hargreeves had known the pain, the deprivation, the loneliness, and the weight on his shoulders for all the lives he had taken. He knew by heart the bitter, pungent taste of blood on the roof of his mouth, the feeling of self-revulsion, the Herculaneum effort he had to make every day to push his traumas, fears and despairs into the dungeon of his soul to the very depths that he could.
That was all he knew. Until you.
Until you show up on that Commission as his sidekick. Just a girl to take care of his paperwork while he was in the field. Killing.
Five shouldn't have felt a new kind of shiver run through his body when he saw you. He shouldn't have wondered if you weren't the most beautiful woman to ever step foot in that universe. He shouldn't have been fascinated by the way sunlight streamed through the window and bathed your skin.
But in that moment, insane moment, Five Hargreeves understood Icarus' fascination with the Sun.
Nothing could unsettle Five's good mood whenever you were together. Not even when he met  your hot temper, your sharp tongue, mocking gaze, your strong, almost aggressive personality. While The Handler thought you were brash and difficult, Hargreeves thought you were wonderful. Perfect. He knew very well how to mask the turmoil inside him, so well that you accused him several times of being rude, surly and mean to you. But, even so, didn't go unnoticed to anyone the way that him smiling more easely for you.
Very quickly, Five knew that, like everyone who had a weakness, you would always be his. As long life coursed through his veins.
Hargreeves knew almost every possible human sensation, but the way he felt when you kissed him for the first, was superb, overwhelming. In that instant, as his hands tangled in your hair and his mouth melted into yours, Five knew that his soul would forever be yours. Always yours. He silently ask that you belonged to him, because he belonged to you forever. Until the end of times.
"You're everything to me." Those were yours words when you two slept together for the first time. And as much as Five was embargoed with too many new emotions to be able to utter a single sentence ,he pressed his lips to yours and begged whatever deity there was - for the first time - that he could convey in that kiss everything he felt for you.
You were the point of salvation in the raging, evil sea that was Hargreeves' life.
Time passed and Five kept you like a promise, an unspoken prayer to a God he didn't even believe in. He branded your name into his soul like a red-hot iron and silently swore eternal love to you each time his long, thin fingers brushed your soft skin. He worshiped you in secret and admired your beauty out of the corner of his eye. Like a nicotine addict, Five consumed you, filled his lungs with your heavenly scent and held his breath until his brain felt the effects of the addiction. Not even Reginald could explain why you made the ocean waves of Five calm like a prayer mass. You promised eternal peace with just one look and Hargreeves wanted to confess all his sins just so he could enter your gates of paradise after death.
Would it be a crime for a murderer to want redemption so badly? Would there be a timeline where he could follow you to the last of days? A reality where he wasn't haunted by the constant feeling that the villain couldn't wish for a happy ending. Not when he's already taken away so many other people's happy endings.
Was it a crime that he didn't want to smear blood your cheek whenever he touched that spot? Because no matter how many times Five washed himself, the red liquid from his victims would always be there. Invisible, but there. Always.
And, just as he knew what a evil joke his life was, the gods showed once again that their fun was to see him suffer.
“What's this, Five?” You asked him one night, holding an open notebook full of notes.
His notebook. With his notes of the calculations that he was trying to get right to get back to his home. To his family.
You felt a hurricane of emotions that clouded your senses, a mixture of sensations that made your ground shake.
You know that Five always wanted to come home, he's told you that himself several times. It wasn't a closely guarded secret and you shouldn't be feeling so...betrayed. It was petty and selfish not to want him to leave. It was wrong to wish you were enough, to make up for the absence of an entire family. You were aware that a relationship was not enough to have a full, completely happy life. And from the bottom of your heart, you really wanted Five to be able to return to his family. Everyone deserves a family. And you couldn't, and wouldn't, take that away from him.
But… but you wanted to be more than a consequence of his plan. Just a person he'd met in the midst of his mission to go away. You wish Five would see you as a life partner. You didn't want him to give up on his family, but to take you away with him if that was the case.
But Five Hargreeves wouldn't take you along whit him. It was always in his eyes whenever his family got into the subject, you just misled yourself into thinking that the time you two spent together might change his mind. Make him want you for the rest of his life. You didn't want him to give up his true life to stay and remain with you, but you would give up to yours to follow him to hell. If he asked. If he wanted you.
But the way Five Hargreeves looked at you in that moment, made it clear to you that he would never see you the way you saw him.
And it tore you apart.
You were too smart a person to know that his silence was an answer. “How close are you to coming home?” was just the only thing that came out of your mouth.
"Very close.'' 
His voice was like desert sand, and a part of you died in that hour.
“And you didn't bother to tell me that?''
This time Five frowned. "Why should I?"
Laughter escaped yours lips as an incredulous, mocking sound, and the hurt part of you began to turn to anger.
“Do you really think it's okay to come into my life and leave whenever you want? Without even telling me what hell is going on.”
“You always knew I would come back to 2019”
“Yes but…'' but I didn't think it would be so soon. but I thought that when the day came you would want me by your side. but I wanted you to stay.
In a perfect world, Five would have told you he wouldn't take you with him because the calculations were uncertain, dangerous, fatal. Not even a genius like him could accurately hit all the math that was required, the difference was that he was aware of and accepted the consequences of his near-fatal mission. Dying or getting lost in time trying to get back to his family has always been a very high probability, one that Hargreeves couldn't, and wouldn't, involve you.
Maybe that was love. The absurd desire, almost torn apart, of wishing with all his soul to stay with you until the end of time. But to give it up without hesitation when it came to your well being. Five Hargreeves might be a murderer, a monster and an executioner, but he would never put you in the crossfire just for his selfish desire to have you forever. And he couldn't give up his family too.
The evil joke that was his life once again found a new way to make him bleed. This time, in a way he never thought possible, in such excruciating pain that there, looking into the deep hurt in the eyes that meant the reason he was still breathing, Five was sure he would never be happy again. Not completely. Not fully.
He found love where he shouldn't have found it. And those months of paradise were paid for with his soul.
Five couldn't look at you anymore, and the sound of your angry voice at him was drowned out by the pain that welled up in his chest and spread through every part of his body.
“Why can’t you just look at me for one god damn second?!” 
He wanted. He wished he could look at you one more time and not feel that horrible pain. But Five knew that if he did that, he would see not only the reason his heart kept beating, bu also that he was hurting the one person he swore to protect. He wasn't strong enough for it.
But, the truth was Five Hargreeves couldn't protect you from himself. From the chaos and hell that followed him wherever he went. He couldn't protect you from the death trail he left behind. But he could protect you from the mess he was. And that's what he was doing.
"Things shouldn't have gotten this far." He didn't recognize his own voice.
That was no lie. He shouldn't have loved you with every cell in his body. He shouldn't have found heaven in you when he was always destined for hell. He should have been honorable and let you go when he first realized that you would be the spin of his world. He should have loved you from afar, in secret. However, like the cretin he knew he was, Five gave in to his soul's pleas. He gave in to the overwhelming desire to kiss you. Once again. One more. And when he realized, his naked body was already wrapped around yours several times, mixing sounds of sin and ecstasy, as he drowned in your body his heart condemned to be forever yours.
"Are you telling me you're sorry for us?" The pain and anger in your voice was too much for him to handle.
As Five got up from the chair he was sitting in, your eyes burned with a fire of irritation and smoldering hurt.
How could he?
“You know that's not what I meant.''
Fucking lier.
“But it sounded just like that to me.”  You hit back, as you always did with him. “You can barely face me and the only thing I hear you say is that we shouldn't go that far. What kind of sick game is this? Do you wear me for months and then discard me as if I am a piece that is no longer useful to you?”
Emotions overflowed your body in the form of tears. Fights with Five were always exhausting, he never let you in on his deepest emotions and constantly say something that tore at your heart. Several times you've wondered why you stayed by his side when it was clear Five didn't think twice about hurting you with something cruel. Why were you mad that he didn't want you on his side in another timeline? When it was clear that not even in this timeline he felt much appreciation for you.
Because you love him with every breath.
“I didn’t call you useless to me.”
"Sure. Because I give you good sex when you need to vent.” Your voice shook with crying.
"Y/n, that's not what I meant..."
“I know what you mean, Hargreeves.” This time he looked at you, but only for seconds. "It means I'm good enough for you to fuck me over at the end of the day, but not good enough to want to be with me in other ways."
That was a slap in his face. How could you think like that?
Five Hargreeves forgot that only him was aware of the visceral magnitude of his feelings for you. He forgot that his inability to express what he felt in words was much loud, because while he burned in a blazing fire of love and passion inside, on the outside he only let on a firm frown, a crooked smile and a longer look in your direction.
Five never said he loved you. And the lack of communication was fatal.
To you, who didn't know Five's real feelings, it seemed very clear from his actions that he didn't love you.
"Isn't that what I..."
But you had reached your limit. There was a limit of rejection you could take.“We can’t go back in time, so stop trying to reverse what you said.” 
That had been the mother of all ironies. Because he could go back in time. But apparently not enough to show you that, all these months, you've been the reason his heart is still beating.
Five approached you, almost as a side effect, but you nipped the action in the bud. “Don't Touch Me.”
"You know I didn't mean to hurt you in any way, I promised myself that I wouldn't.”
“So stop making empty promises!” You left his house, and Five didn't stop you. 
When the sound of the front door echoed off the walls, all hope of happiness was gone along with you.
The next day, Five come back to his home, his family, and he used the consolation that you would be safe on the Commission. Protected from the ongoing chaos that he was.
And it hurt like he'd lost the best of him.
------
Luther had the romantic heart and common sense of a banana. He took risks and changed his world in the name of love, happiness, passion. Every cell in his body pulsed with romanticism and the joy he felt in being in love clouded his rationality.
There was hardly a shred of discernment in that gigantic body when love was involved in the equation. And maybe that's why he'd been oblivious to the subtle signs that timeline was giving him when he'd been kidnapped by Sparrow Academy, and Sloane had introduced him to her best friend. All Luther could see was Sloane next to a girl who seemed to do her a lot of good, a good friend. And anyone who made that beautiful smile appear on the face of the woman he was in love with was already his best friend too.
Luther didn't realize the air sounded different. That the world seemed to hold its breath, as if it had just watched a plot unfold. He didn't feel any of it, because Luther wasn't sensitive to the little hints life gave him.
“This is Y/n.” Sloane smiled once more as you sat next to her at the gigantic breakfast table.
If Number One had been more attentive to the details around you, he would have noticed that something deep in your eyes looked familiar. But he wasn't the most attentive of the world.
The conversation took place calmly, as normal as circumstances allowed. Luther knew that to the people of that reality, the Sparrow Academy were a good, friendly, heroic bunch. Maybe his crush on one of the members was compromising his judgment, but Luther started to think that maybe his siblings only hated them for meeting under those circumstances. Perhaps, in another reality, they would all have gotten along and found something in common. Just like you were doing, sitting there while talking to everyone.
Apparently, you were a person dear to that family. Ben seemed to smile a lot more at you and Fei seemed less scary around you.
“So how did you two meet?” 'Luther asked you, as he stuffed a whole piece of toast into his mouth.
“She's Sloane's childhood friend.'' Fei said, saving you from answering by having your mouth full.
You smiled at Luther and nodded.
“Our childhood friend.” Ben corrected, and the whole family rolled their eyes.
“He's not always this grumpy.'' You told Luther as you gulped down your food, the kind, bright smile not leaving your aura.
“Only 99% of the time’’ Sloane joked and you both laughed.
The end of that interaction was given when Ben stood up and asked for everyone but Sloane to be in the living room. Leaving the two lovers alone, Ben asked you to accompany Luther back to his family when he left. Just to make sure he wasn't up to something or lying.
You would accompany the guy, but only to make sure that Fei's crows didn't do anything bad or that Alphonso didn't pick on him, but you wouldn't come back with information about the Hargreeves.
The dynamics of Sparrow's with you has always been very present in everyday life, for many years. And as much as Ben was extremely manipulative and the other siblings had their equally thorny flaws, over time you came to learn how to deal with each one, what each one was capable of doing.
"Whatever." Ben rolled his eyes, and was already turning to leave when he turned a few inches back in your direction ''But be careful." and he left.
When night had fallen and Luther was allowed to leave, you said you would accompany him to his destination. You didn't make up lies or half-truths, you said what Ben had asked you to do and your reasons for doing so. You weren't interested in the war between the two families, only your friend's happiness. And if being with Luther made her happy, you wouldn't be the one to get in the way.
The journey was smooth. Hargreeves asked almost everything he could about Sloane. And you helped by telling him the things she liked, what she didn't, her favorite foods and ways to win her heart. You always thought love suited Sloane, and you would do what you could to help a man who seemed genuinely interested in making her the happiest woman alive. She deserved it.
Luther entered the huge hotel first, carrying the gift bag Ben had given him. You should have stopped there and walked away, you had already completed what you came to do, you had already arrived at your destination. But something, an energy that raised the hairs on the back of your neck, urged you to enter that hotel with Luther, just one more step...
The air suddenly changed as you followed Luther toward a huddle of voices, and the closer you got, the more your heart raced, like a ticking time bomb. The hotel's mood turned red and rosy, as if the lights of the world were dimming, and there was something lyrical about the way the air swirled around you.
----
Five Hargreeves was tired. Tired of apocalypses, exhausted from having to save world after world, win fight after fight. It was as if he was constantly putting off the inevitable, pushing himself to the limit, using energy he didn't even have anymore.
He really needed that retirement that only lasted a few minutes. Five wanted to see the world, visit new places, but not for him…
“One day we could take a vacation.” You said one day, lying inside Five's arms, both bodies naked.
He frowned at your comment, and you didn't even have to look at him to know that was the expression he was making.
“I always wanted to see the world.” You explained. “But… I don't know, it's one of those things in life that we keep putting off, blaming work, tiredness… loneliness.”
"Where would you like to go?"
"All the places." You laughed. “To know even the stupidest things, like… how to know the biggest ball of twine in the world”
And this time he laughed too.
Five wanted to see the world, visit new places, but not for him, for you.
Maybe that's why Five was so angry with Klaus when he learned that they hadn't traveled for a vacation. Maybe that's why he nearly killed them both in a car accident to see that twine. Because…maybe if he did the things you wanted to do, he would feel closer to you once again. Maybe.
If he could just imagine your snarky comments, your boisterous presence, he could feel alive once more.
But he had stopped in front of that stupid ball of twine. Giant and perfectly round. He waited for some revelation, some sensation…but nothing came. And that was another evil joke in his life, tearing apart another piece of his soul shards. Nothing could replace you. Hargreeves returned to the hotel feeling worse than when he left, with a new end of the world knocking at the door, with more family dramas to resolve.
However, this time, something was very different.
He sought within himself that survival instinct, that will to fight, to stop another apocalypse, to see another tomorrow. Only to find nothing. Only for the answer come at him like a big void.
And he thought 'why?'. Every time they tried to save the world, something worse happened. And now that he'd had a taste of what a calm, normal life would be like, without you, Five found no motivation to keep fighting.
He was still alive, but he had left his heart two timelines ago.
“I'm back.” Luther's voice trumped Alison's talking to Viktor, and Five remembered thinking when  Luther had left.
But that didn't matter. And he began to wonder which things still mattered.
His hearing picked up Luther's conversations with the other siblings, but his brain wasn't processing anything. With his back to Number One, Five had his direction towards Klaus, more specifically to the whiskey glass in his hands.
He really should get fucking drunk...
“Sorry about the Sparrows, they really go overboard sometimes.''
That's when the Earth's rotation stopped. The world stunned in slow motion as every hair on Five's body stood on end. The completely stunned silence in his mind lasted only seconds, interrupted when his soul screamed so loudly that Five was stunned. The chords of the music of fate grew more agitated by the minute, like a premonition of the climax.
Five Hargreeves knew that voice better than he knew himself.
His body abruptly swung toward Luther, startling the other brothers beside him, drawing all attention his way. Klaus frowned as Diego followed the same action.
That's when his eyes focused on you. The symphony of fate reached its climax and was like an atomic explosion.
And, after a fucking long time, his heart beat frantically, alive.
His jaw dropped open, his eyes widened in an explosion of emotions and sensations. The glass Five was holding tumbled to the floor, shattering on a splash of glass and splattering the expensive alcohol all over the floor. There was some exclamation from someone, but Five didn't hear. He wouldn't have heard anything but you.
Holy damn shit.
His pulse raced wildly through his veins, heightening all his senses and turning life back on in his body that had been operating in automatic mode for far too long. It was like finally being able to breathe. Like hot coffee after ages of braving the excruciating cold. Suddenly, the world had color again, life flowed through his body and his soul thanked on its knees to gods that did not exist for seeing you once again.
If this was a hallucination, another evil joke, Five didn't know how he was going to recover from it. Perhaps he would never recover. His body moved, his powers being completely forgotten as he advanced towards you. Step by step. Everyone looked at Five in bewilderment, but he could only see that you were as beautiful as the day he lost you.
So are this how the devotees felt when they arrived at the gates of heaven? So this are like to come back to life?
Five stopped in front of you, his hands shaking and his heart pounding in his chest, as if it desperately wanted to get out of his chest to find yours. To touch you. He didn't notice your confused look, didn't notice that his own eyes were watering. Five Hargreeves just felt you.Totally.
“Y/n?” His voice was a thread of sound. Trembled, broken, conveying so much pain and despair. There was so much emotion in a single name that Klaus felt himself holding his breath and squeezing Diego's arm.
Five's feelings, always so well hidden and buried in the graveyard of his being, now consumed the entire hotel. Filling every floor, hallway and room with an intensity no one knew he carried. This wasn't Number Five meeting an old friend. This was a man finding the reason his life made sense again.
"Do you know my name?" Your voice swamped Five with more emotions, taking their structures brick by brick.
In other circumstances, he might be sad that you don't remember him. Perhaps, the fact that the moments you two spent together only exist in Five's mind forever now, will be cut him deeply. But none of that was important. None of that mattered.
You were there. Live. Standing in front of him as wonderfully breathtaking as the first time he saw you.
Hargreeves gave a broken, shaky smile, stretching his fingers toward your cheek, completely losing his breath as him brushed against your skin once more. It was like coming home.
“I know everything about you." He whispered, his thumb running down your cheek as the tears in his eyes welled up.
You didn't move, you didn't reject him, you didn't yell at him. Not like you used to. You just looked at him with a look that made his world spin again, a look with amnesia but that let him see your soul. And was the same one he fell in love with.
Holy shit.
"Okay, I'm not understanding anything that's going on here." Luther gestured with his index finger at the two, with the others nodding. “Do you know him, Y/n?”
Your eyes didn't leave Five's, absorbing all the emotions that blue sea revealed to you. You thought you had seen the love, the devotion, the passion. You thought the way Sloane looked at Luther was a look of love.
You have never been so wrongly deceived.
That was a look of love. That which was eternal devotion.
Five Hargreeves didn't look at you like you were a pretty girl, not like his were in love. He looked at you like you were the only thing that kept him alive. And that tore you apart. Because whoever that handsome man was thinking he found, it wasn't you. You didn't remember him, and you sure as hell wouldn't forget a face like his.
"I think you got confused." You said it in a whisper, as if speaking softly would change the truth, would make him keep touching you in that…careful way.
Your head instinctively leaned into his hand, as if already knew the way.
Five smiled again, his whole body burning in the heat of a thousand suns. "I would never get confused." The certainty in his voice took your breath away. "Not with you."
You could hear the rumble of his heart, and you could see that yours was beating the same tune, the same waltz. None of this situation made any sense, and you knew you had a million questions to ask later. Later. Not now, not when he was looking at you and touching you like this.
Reality could wait.
----
Five Hargreeves wouldn't let you leave his side after that day. It doesn't matter if you had things to do, places to go. That apocalypse was tearing people apart and he couldn't even think straight about the possibility that you were one of them.
It was unacceptable.
You had the answers to your questions, and Five gave you all of his time, explaining any questions, giving you his full attention. Treating you like you're the reason that he still standing.
The end of the world was knocking at the door and, looking at you once more, Five was sure that he wouldn't spend the precious time he still had chasing solutions or doing elaborate equations. He wouldn't waste his last days focusing on saving the world, on escaping to another reality. Not again.
He learned his lesson the first time. He understood that the priority should never have been going back to 2019, or keeping you away. His priority should always have been to stay by your side until the end of time. And that's what he was going to do.
"So I'm a version of your true love?" You said, sitting on the edge of a bed in one of the hotel rooms.
“You’re more than that.” he assured you with a firmness that took your breath away, looking at you with all the honesty in the world.
The smile you gave made Five smile too.
“Shouldn't you be trying to stop the apocalypse? Your sister seems to really want to change reality.”
Hargreeves shook his head. “I won't leave you. Never. Not again.”
Your heart was pounding, your hands were shaking, and there was something about Five that made you feel like he was something you'd found after many years of searching, even if you hadn't realized it. You didn't feel the urge to say you weren't the same person he fell in love with, to argue about it. Not. The end of time was coming and you just…wanted to spend the rest of them in his arms.
Someone's arms that your heart cried out never to leave.
And just like in past reality - even if you didn't know it - you would follow Five Hargreeves to hell if he asked you to.
And, this time, he asked.
"You can kiss me?" Your voice came out as a whisper, and you thought you saw him catch his breath.
Five didn't wait for a new invitation. He didn't wait for any more signs. His warm hands cupped your cheeks, his body leaned into yours and his mouth finally, finally, captured yours.
It was like living a miracle.
Hargreeves kissed you like you were the only thing that mattered in the world. He kissed you like sky was going to collapse tomorrow and hell was finally coming for him. His tongue curled around yours in a sensual, needy waltz as their hearts beat in time and their souls touched once more.
“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.” His voice sighed against your swollen lips, still sensitive from the kisses.
Your hands came up to Five's shoulders and tangled in the dark hair at the back of his neck, sinking your mouth once more to his, as if it was impossible to stay away now that you tasted him. The environment took on a more reddish air, smelling of passion and need, the air had a tone of paradise and all of this was felt by both of you. The mouths now danced with more precision, the hands roamed the bodies and the troubled feelings clouded the reality outside that room.
But if Luther and Sloane were getting married, why couldn't you and Five get lost in the same seething madness?
It was the end of the world. And you would spend together.
His body pressed against you, and the heat of his ample chest on youe sensitive breasts made a heavy sigh escape your lips.
"You don't know how much I missed your sounds." His voice was muffled by the kisses that trailed down your neck, marking your sensitive skin with red prints and burning desires.
You didn't notice when you pushed his suit off his long arms, or when you helped him with his tie. When you found yourself, that maddening body was on top of you, glued to you, running his hands down your thighs as he drowned his mouth on your lips. The body-to-body contact was too much, too much for the arousal that was rising to alarming levels, too much for the sensuality the climate adopted. His fingers gripped you with possession, and you knew you'd find a print of his fingerprints as he gripped your thighs more tightly.
The hem of your blue dress had already bunched up around your waist, and you shifted your hips toward his pelvis, earning a loud groan in return and a hard bite to your bottom lip. His shirt was the third piece of clothing to get out of the way, and the sight of Five unbuttoning the white fabric was a show that made your pussy ache with desire.
You needed him. Just like he needed you.
“Can you help me with this zipper?”
Five flashed a sly smile that accentuated his dangerous features, giving you one last hard kiss as he knelt between your legs. His long hands flipped you onto your stomach in just one motion, pulling your hips up and pressing the cock covered in your soaked panties, drawing a loud groan from you as he pulled the zipper down your back. The piece of black fabric and the bra dropped to the floor along with the other pieces, and Five turned you onto your back once more as he returned with the deep kisses.
There was an endless list of positions he wanted to fuck you in, but right here, in this moment, Hargreeves just wanted full skin-to-skin, chest-to-chest, mouth-to-mouth contact as he entered you. Five needed to make sure, once again, that you weren't just a figment of his imagination. And physically feeling you, completely, was the only thing that partially soothed him.
He lowered his pants and underwear just enough for his cock to pop out. Thick, bloated and needy. Your  panties were pushed to the side, and Five couldn't wait another single second to fully enter you.
“Fucking hell” It was his groan against your mouth, as your drenched walls sobbed around him.
"You are too big." You whimpered in a whiny voice, your hips working to swallow him and trying to pull away at the same time.
“But you take so well.” His voice was broken, and Five bit your shoulder as he reached your end, slamming into the mouth of your cervix and drawing a loud groan from you.
Your head fell back, your nails dug into his back and your legs spread even wider in a pathetic attempt to swallow him without squeezing too hard.
“Tell me what you like.” It was a mixture of request and order, a sentence lost in half sentences.
"I like. I like it, I like it.” You repeated frantically, afraid he would stop.
“Thank God” was the only whisper you heard before he pulled most of his cock out and slammed into you harder. Again. And again. "Your pussy won't let go of me." he moaned against your skin. “God, you're still fucking perfect.”
You wish you had said something too, something that showed you were loving it as much as he did, something that expressed that he was perfect too, something that said you wanted him to be yours forever. But you couldn't, because Five picked up the pace and he beat relentlessly at that point that made you scream out loud. His long arms encircled your waist while your around his neck. There wasn't a single piece of skin that wasn't touching, and the only distance between the two of you was his cock moving in and out of your weeping pussy.
His name took the form of loud screams and moans, with the sound of bodies colliding and spreading across the hotel.
“You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.” 
If you weren't already on edge, that dirty phrase would have done the job. You came in a burst of color, and your sensitivity was assailed by the hot, thick jets of cum that Hargreeves filled your pussy shortly thereafter. His cum continued for a few more seconds, and you felt your womb starting to fill with all the white load.
“Holy shit.” Five bit your neck, tightening his arms around you and pushing his cock even deeper, trying to force his way through whatever barrier was holding him back.
His new moan came breathy and hoarse, and you whimpered that he was still trying to push himself as deep inside you as possible, as if he wanted to mark any part of you as his. He seemed to want to make sure his cum had entered your womb, because his movements continued to try to push the white load even deeper. You brought him into a broken kiss, panting and slow, following his movements with your hips and holding back from giving him everything he wanted.
The breaths of two of you were starting to calm down, but your firm grip on Five's body made it clear that you didn't want him to leave you. And he wouldn't, even if the world ended now.
‘'How did I think I could live without you?'’ His confession made you laugh, your hands caressing the back of his neck as you sought his lips for another kiss.
“You’re not going to leave me alone, are you?” you said.
His eyes met yours, and the topic was no longer about sex or desire or need.
It was about staying. Together.
“Not.” This time, Five wouldn't abandon you. He would do it differently this time.
And he was thinking about that when he running his hand over your sweaty face, looked at you deeply as he said. “I promised to love you forever.” he never told you he loved you in the past, and this time he wouldn't make the same mistakes.
Five Hargreeves would stand by you until the end of time. Because forever is his whenever he is whit you.
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Thoughts on The Ghoul
So I think all the characters in the Fallout show are spectacular, but I had some thoughts on The Ghoul/Cooper Howard in particular that I just wanted to put down. Owing to his 200+ years of history, he's a downright fascinating, dynamic character, and I can't wait to see what they do with him next.
Anyway, here's my thoughts/character analysis of The Ghoul:
One of the things I found most interesting on my second watch-through of the show was how everything The Ghoul does is motivated by ruthless pragmatism, not cruelty. It can appear like cruelty--sometimes it tips over into cruelty--but cruelty is not the point. The point is always survival. He must survive to find his family. That is his goal and his one guiding tenet. Nothing else matters, everything else is fluid. Whatever it takes to survive.
Getting rid of the three bounty hunters who dug him up? Survival. Two of those guys were already one twitch away from killing him on the spot for being a ghoul, and the other threatened to harm him if he didn't show enough gratitude. Coupled with some of the other things he was saying, it seemed possible he would double-cross or kill The Ghoul the moment it suited him. No doubt The Ghoul has worked with the type before, and knew trouble when he saw it.
In Filly, he only shot people who were shooting at him. Cooper loves dogs, but he stabbed CX-404 because she was actively trying to kill him. On the surface, he healed her for equally pragmatic reasons: she could lead him to Wilzig. But he also seemed to respect, too, that she clung to life despite her debilitating wound. She's not his dog Roosevelt, so he tries to maintain a cold detachment from her (at first), but he has a soft spot for dogs.
He was willing to shoot Lucy in Filly, but he hesitated--which is more than he did for any of the other people threatening his life. Possibly he wouldn't have killed her (she was armed with a non-lethal weapon) until Maximus showed up on the scene and changed the calculus (dispatch the girl and deal with the newer, bigger threat without having to worry about her finding a lethal weapon and killing him with it). He didn't kill Maximus when he had the chance, either. He didn't need to. Maximus had already shown himself to be incompetent with the power armor. It was simple enough to damage the power armor and watch him tuck tail and run.
When he meets Lucy again, he uses her with the same casual, indifferent efficiency as he would any other tool. The point of dunking her in the water was to lure the gulper. It had the unfortunate side effect of also being torturous for Lucy, but the cruelty wasn't the point. Getting the head back was. The head=caps, caps=meds, meds=survival, survival=eventually find family.
We don't know what The Ghoul would have done if they had retrieved the head from the gulper and his medicine hadn't been destroyed. Probably it would have depended on what Lucy did. If she seemed likely to come after him and the head, he probably would have killed her or incapacitated her and left her for dead. If she had explained she needed to trade it with Moldaver for her dad, Hank MacLean, hoooo boy, he would have beelined for Moldaver's with Lucy in tow. Whether Lucy came along as his partner or his captive/extra bargaining chip would also probably depend on Lucy's behavior.
But they lose the head and The Ghoul's medicine is destroyed. The math changes. He can come back for the head, but he needs meds now, which means he needs caps now, and the only thing of value he has on hand is this pampered girl from a fucking vault who seems patently unwilling to do the things that need to be done to survive in the Wasteland anyway, so if she's gonna die, he might as well profit from it. He needs meds to survive. He needs caps for meds. It's simple, brutal math.
While he's hauling her to the Super Duper Mart, though, he does several interesting things that are degrading for Lucy, yes, but are simultaneously teaching her how to survive the Wasteland, testing to see if she'll adapt. First, he mercy kills Roger and butchers him. It's important to note that The Ghoul didn't have to take a detour from his all-important mission to obtain medicine--he could hear it was Roger, he could tell Roger was going feral and didn't have any meds-- but he went anyway to help ease an old friend's passing. And he made sure Roger's last thoughts were pleasant, too.
Then, because this is the Wasteland and the one law is survival, he wastes no time switching gears. There's no waste in the Wasteland, and a fresh dead body presents an opportunity for those willing to seize it. The Ghoul, mind you, has had 200 years to learn that he can't be picky. Ghouls are unwelcome in most "civilized" parts of the Wasteland, barred from the simple comforts and safeties and securities that other people can enjoy if they reach those scattered, precious oases. The Ghoul has had to eat people. It sucks, but it's that or die.
But Lucy doesn't understand that. She arguably doesn't understand what a ghoul even is because nobody's taken the time to tell her. She doesn't know what the last 200 years have been like. She's appalled--and then she has the audacity to voice her disgust. The Ghoul hands her the knife to keep butchering Roger in part to humble her, to drag her down into the dirt with the rest of them, but he's also teaching her a stark reality of the Wasteland. It was a lesson and a skill that he had to learn the hard way. (Interestingly, while nearly everyone in the Wasteland is disgusted by cannibalism, it's also a known thing that happens all the time. The Ghoul and Lucy are in the interesting position of being some of the only people in the Wasteland who were raised in societies where cannibalism truly was unthinkable).
On the walk to the Super Duper Mart, he refuses to give her water. On a pragmatic level, there's no reason to waste water on the equivalent of a dead woman walking--he's leading her to get her organs harvested, after all. (He is pretty petty when he pours out the last drops instead of giving them to her, though). But also, whether he is actively intending to or not, he is teaching her to adapt to Wasteland conditions. The water in his canteen, in fact, was just as irradiated and gross as the standing water from which Lucy ultimately drinks; he refills his canteen from the same rusted-out vessel Lucy drinks from, and likely drew the previous canteen's worth of water from a similarly unpalatable source. This is water in the Wasteland. Drink it or die.
When she runs away shortly after, he lassos her (and, sidenote: can I just add how fucking cool it is that they actually carry through his lasso skills? Like, that is actually an extremely useful skill and the writers utilized it!), which leads to that pivotal scene where she bites his finger off and he takes hers.
This is interesting for multiple reasons. The Ghoul calls her a "little killer" and seems satisfied to see her finally fighting with the same savagery as a Wastelander. This could be either because a) he believes all people have a killer lurking beneath the facade of civility ("I'm you, sweetie. Just give it a little time...") and she's finally found that steely will to survive no matter what it takes, and/or b) he believes she's been faking her doe-eyed, good girl persona. He's the one who first finds Wilzig's body, after all. To him, it looks like Lucy lured the doctor off and ruthlessly chopped off his head before running off with it. Maybe she's just a really good actress, and in biting his finger off, she's let that mask slip.
Either way, he introduces her to another law of the Wasteland: don't dish it if you can't take it. She takes his finger, he takes hers. He doesn't kill her for it, in part because that would be disproportionate, in part because that would be a waste (he probably needs he alive to exchange her for caps). But also, from a practical standpoint, she just bit off his shooting finger. Unbeknownst to her, ghouls can reattach body parts, even ones that are not their own. He's harvesting his replacement from her. If he wanted to be cruel, he had ample opportunity to be cruel here. He could have taken more fingers. He could have hurt her in ways that wouldn't have affected her value to organ harvesters. He could have degraded her and called her all kinds of nasty names. But he doesn't. He's efficient. If anything, he seems almost proud of her for abandoning her hoity-toity principles and fighting back.
He still needs caps. He's feeling the effects of not having his medication. He's still committed to delivering her to the organ harvesters. In his mind, he has no choice. This is about survival. He has to survive to find his family. This is the option he has available to him. This is how he lives to see another day. He brings her to the Super Duper Mart and, drawing deep from that actor's well, he maintains the tough-guy routine long enough to intimidate her inside, then he succumbs.
He's still down when Lucy re-emerges, victorious, and he knows, he knows that he's dead. He tried to kill her, now she'll kill him. It's the smart thing to do, the practical thing to do. Another law of the Wasteland...
But she doesn't do it. She has all the power here, she knows he's a dangerous element, that she would probably be safer if she left him for dead or killed him herself. But she breaks all the rules. She gives him, freely, generously, with supreme dignity and a selfless kindness he had long forgot, an abundance of the thing he needs to survive, the thing he was willing to sell another human being for no questions asked. Just like that.
There's also something to be said here about how resource scarcity (and the removal of that scarcity) affects people. As soon as The Ghoul gains a cache of at least 2 months worth of medicine, it frees him from the basic math of mere survival. He has room to breathe and think long-term (at least by Wasteland standards). He can reflect on the momentous thing that just happened to him, too. As he watches himself on the TV in the Super Duper Mart, watches the man he once was unwillingly (and unwittingly) take the first step onto the path to what he has become, he remembers what it was like being Cooper Howard. Why he, Cooper Howard, hated the "feo, fuerte, y formal" scene so deeply.
Cooper Howard was a kind, moral, and dignified man who seldom said an unkind word. He was a loving husband who deeply respected his wife and absolutely adored his daughter. Though his naivety, privilege, and ignorance blinded him to the ugly realities of the pre-apocalypse world around him, he valued justice, freedom, and equality. He wanted the characters he played in the movies to reflect that belief in the power of the law and respect the innate humanity of all people, even the villains. And, when he began to see the cracks in the perfect picture of his charmed life, he is driven to know the truth behind the facade. His deep, defining belief in justice and truth would not let him leave it alone.
Cooper Howard learned the truth that Vault-Tec (and by extension, his wife) were willing to drive the world off a cliff, and it destroyed his marriage and deeply affected him. Even then, demoralized and hurt as he was, he found it in himself to be thoughtful and kind to his daughter and the people, both adults and children, at the birthday party he worked the day the bombs dropped. Fundamentally, he was still a kind, moral man. And that kind, moral man found himself in the middle of the most horrific nightmare anyone could ever imagine experiencing: the death of the planet under a rain of atomic bombs. Then he lived through it and had to contend with the harsh realities of surviving on the annihilated landscape left behind. Fortunately for him, he already had several handy skills to carry him through: having formerly been a real cowboy, he knew a thing or two about surviving in tough conditions; having formerly been a soldier, he knew what it took to kill a man and had the experience and fortitude to do it; and finally, having formerly been an actor, he had a built-in psychological coping mechanism to insulate him from the horrors of the things he needed to do to survive.
Cooper Howard used to put on and take off personas for a living. Sure, he played white hats, but he had an intuitive understanding of character and narrative tropes. He played opposite some of the best bad guys in 21st century Hollywood! It wouldn't be hard for him to pull the cloak of acting around himself to do what he initially needed to do to survive. But somewhere along the way, the tough, ruthless persona he adopted stopped being an act and he became his character. He embodied the answer to the question posed by The Man from Deadhorse: what happens when a good man is driven too far?
Cooper Howard adapted to survive. His actions reflect the realities of being a ghoul (again, a people generally reviled by everyone and cast out of safe havens because they are deemed threats). Pragmatic and efficient violence are necessities if a ghoul wants to live long, stay sane, and stay out from under the thumb of would-be enslavers. Still, beneath it all, Cooper Howard is still there, buried deep down beneath the character-persona of The Ghoul.
The Ghoul is drawn to Lucy (platonically, romantically, or some secret third thing), to her goodness and old-world manners just as much as he is disgusted/irritated by them. She's an echo of himself, of Cooper Howard, of who he used to be, and he knows EXACTLY where that gets a person. She's going to get herself killed if she doesn't wise up. With those high-and-mighty, anachronistic principles, that black-and-white worldview, her totally naive misunderstanding of the realities of the Wasteland, she won't last long. And initially he sees her as a pawn, like he was, only good for moving him one step closer to his goal. But then she shows him she can adapt and survive. Not only that, she can be true to her core principles in the process. She can conduct herself with dignity. Lucy reminds him what it was like being the white hat, and shows him that yes, even in this hellscape, there can be heroes. Over 200 yeas, his pragmatism and need to survive sanded away the nuance between Good and Bad. But Lucy makes him reconsider whether maybe there is right and wrong after all, and maybe it actually does matter.
Thus begins his transformation, but the change is not immediate, and this is still the Wasteland. He escapes from The Govermint and goes after Lucy. To do that, he needs to find Moldaver. He tracks down someone who might know where to find her, kills him and accidentally blows a hole through the letter with the key bit of information he needs to find Moldaver. So, he goes to that guy's family to find the man's younger brother, Tommy. When he gets the information he needs, he kills Tommy. He gives Tommy the opportunity to back down, but The Ghoul has a lot of experience and reads Tommy like a book. Tommy is not the kind of kid to let something like this go, and The Ghoul has clearly been burned by leaving vengeful people alive before. Tommy reaches for a gun to shoot The Ghoul, and The Ghoul doesn't hesitate. He blows a hole in the kid. It sucks, but again, this is a decision born from sheer practicality, not love of carnage.
Later, he comes across CX-404 trapped in a Nuka-Cola machine (left there by Thaddeus). The head is lost to both of them now; the dog cannot help The Ghoul with finding it. But he saves her anyway and dubs her Dogmeat. He lets sentimentality get to him for the first time in who knows how long and allows himself to bond with another living being. When he does reach The Observatory (where Moldaver, Lucy, and her dad are), he clearly stashes Dogmeat somewhere to keep her out of harm's way and goes in after Lucy.
After fighting his way through the Brotherhood of Steel, we come to that pivotal scene where Lucy finds out about her father's history. Cooper hangs back to observe and learns that his niggling, hare-brained hunch about Lucy and her last name was correct: she was the daughter of Henry MacLean, a man-out-of-time who presents the first real step in 200 years toward Cooper's ultimate goal: finding his family. (I think it's important to note, however, that he isn't 100% sure of her connection to Hank when follows her to Moldaver's--his reasons for going to the Observatory are either to get information from Moldaver or simply to back Lucy up, should she need help). He lets Hank get away so that he can follow him, and he's willing to follow him alone. But now there's Lucy, who is as wrapped up in this shit as Cooper is (even if she doesn't understand it yet), and he figures they both deserve answers. She's shown that she can adapt to survive, she just needs a teacher. In their first exchange since she left him at the Super Duper Mart, he treats her with new respect and offers her the opportunity to come with him, learn from him, and find out about who she really is and the legacy that has produced her. But perhaps he also knows deep down that he needs to learn from her too. He needs to remember what it was like to be good, to be human. He needs it so he can be it for his daughter when he finds her.
So, yeah, I don't know, it's just interesting how Cooper Howard became essentially lost in method acting a villain to survive the fucking awful conditions he found himself in, but even then he isn't cruel. Like, there are a lot worse things he could have done to Lucy. A LOT WORSE. As far as I can tell, he never looks at or touches her in a creepy, predatory way. Yeah, he drags her around on a leash and cuts her finger off when she bites his off, but that's pretty damn tame for the Wasteland. He secures her with rope, but otherwise is pretty hands off with her. If he objectifies her, it's in an extremely non-sexual way. More of a taking-the-cow-to-market kinda way. Which still sucks, but again, it's not needlessly cruel or wantonly violent, which is pretty impressive given general Wasteland behavior.
He's a damn interesting character, and I'm super stoked to see how he develops--and how he interacts with Lucy going forward.
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OFMD S2 EP 4-5: Izzy Hands (from a S1 Izzy fan)
I'll admit. I teared up at the Izzy shit in ep 1-3. Not a full-blown cry. But close. I was stressed, and tired, and hurt more than anything. I only cried in my car driving home. It hit, but it was more prolonged.
Do you know what got me crying? Izzy opened that letter, revealing 'For The New Unicorn'. He looks up and smiles. I went from 0-100 dry eyes to crying in seconds. I had to rewatch it because HELL.
The entire episode, hell, debatably from (S1ep4) we see Izzy go through it. Socially isolated and losing his identity. Leading up to S2ep4. Drunk and sad and heartbroken. He tries his best to stay afloat without a lifejacket as his self crumbles around him. He doesn't care anymore. He thinks his life is over. He lashes out because there's no one there to help him.
BUT THEN THE LEG. He cried and I cried during both scenes.
BECAUSE HE IS CARED ABOUT AND HE CAN HEAL!
GOD, and the way that leads into EPISODE 5. Izzy slicked his hair back and regaining some of his own personal identity. Izzy genuinely bantering with Stede, and gently helping him to be a better Captain. The way he desperately asks Stede if Ed said anything else nice about him? Showing that. Yeah, he's not all the way there yet, but he's working on it. The training scene where Izzy just looks on in fascinated horror at Stede's skills? THE LITTE OKAY HANDSIGNAL AT THE END WHEN STEDE USED HIS GRUFF VOICE? He smiles, and jokes, and TRIES. Izzy is pissed, obviously, but he's getting there.
He is kind and caring, all WHILE STILL BEING A PRICK? Him being a total nerd during the curse monologue? Izzy mutters 'rude' and pointedly crosses his legs as Stede ruins the vibe. I laughed harder at Izzy sitting at that desk than I did at most of the jokes in the show. THAT'S MY FUCKING BASTARD!! I'm so happy I saw a character and have been rewarded by showing, yes. He is kind, and trying, but he needs to learn to let himself become new.
I fucking love him. I can tell from the teaser that Izzy is just going to grow closer with the crew (and with himself) and I can't wait. (Even if it means his imminent capture, whoops).
I do think they'll do something with Izzy/Lucius, at least a single happy (Izzy no longer holding himself back from wanting) consensual kiss or genuine discussion about life(post-wedding) to show their growth as characters because I had to pause with the cig and shark interaction. Jesus Christ. I didn't really ship it before, but they are so snarky and it's great.
I'm a bit sad as Izzy's current arc likely means he might not get the big 'fuck you' moment of anger to Ed that Lucius got. Mainly because Con would make me cry, but If Izzy is genuinely just shoving this shit down, ignoring the years that Ed ignored his existence, then...idk.
They purposefully gave Izzy and Ed no scenes and thank god we get a TINY break. Because Ed will try to patch things up, and I don't think it works like that with Izzy. He needs proof that Ed is trying. Add to that Ed ACTUALLY saying sorry to him, and not expecting Izzy to immediately accept it(my theory as to why Lucius pointed it out: Ed will ACTUALLY say sorry to Izzy and mean it. This will heal something for Izzy, and hell). I can't wait for Ed to come back and see him. See him for who he is, a silly prick who is loyal to a fault, who is loved.
This is likely the happiest two episodes we'll get, and fuck, I loved them both SO MUCH. After a rewatch I'll write about the crew. Ed/Stede is actually working for me as we watch them both learn, and Fuck, Lucius/Pete...my darlings.
NOW FOR THE TEASER:
THE IDEA OF SEEING CON IN DRAG AGAIN MAKES ME SO HAPPY! Especially what it means for Izzy. Izzy lets his hair down and has fun with Wee John as he explores what actually makes him happy. Hell, him opening up to being a bit of a masochist as a joke while tied up is...actually my favorite thing (while obvious, given his propensity to put Ed before him in all matters, Izzy casually mentioning 'I like to be roughed a bit up' in front of the crew is the type of openness about himself that I crave). Izzy "cocksuckers" Hands letting himself joke about SEX-GAY SEX(probably)- Kill me now.
(To clarify: I don't think he or Ed ever got off to the abuse, hell, we see Ed flinch away when Anne/Mary do it. That's not the face of someone who knows what that's like as the Sadist).
I just love the way Izzy has so obviously relaxed into a person that he'd never let exist. Hell. I hope Izzy gets to rub this happier version of himself RIGHT in Edward's sad face. I need a 'he was never like this with me' moment of Ed watching Izzy SMILE to parallel Izzy's jealousy in S1.
Con obviously loves this character, you can see it in the performance. He fills the role perfectly, from his ups to his downs. Con smiles and hell, that's not Con, that's Izzy fucking Hands. Striding along proudly pretending his world isn't changing, because it is, and he is healing and I LOVE IT.
I am so proud of our growing Izzy loving community. For some, we've been through a lot of shit. Probably in life, and hell, maybe even in this fandom. Even if you haven't been harassed, you loved Izzy, you saw yourself in him, and I hope you felt the show giving us a big fucking hug.
We grow, we recover, and hell. We get a happy fucking ending (with a few yet-to-be-seen bumps in the road).
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moonlit-midnight · 1 year
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With you, I’d dance in a storm
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Characters: Floyd Leech.
Genre: Romantic Fluff.
Summary: Wherein the most memorable moment on your wedding day was dancing with your husband.
Warnings: Reader is a female, and has a talent in singing and composing songs.
You were in a daze, sitting next to your husband in the dance hall, quietly watching the guests dancing back and forth.
It was quite a fascinating scene.
Old couples waltzing with teenagers, friends dancing with your colleagues, and little girls twirling around with your in-laws.
“Remember when I used to pull you into a random dance at the Mostro Lounge during closing time?” Floyd rested his hand atop yours.
“It was an excuse to hold my hand.” you grinned, flipping his palm over and slipping your fingers into his own.
“I really loved having you close to me.” He confessed, a spark of adoration gleaming in his gentle gaze.
“It was all fun until Azul and Jade show up, scolding us for fooling around instead of doing the dishes.” you giggled at the distant memory.
“They always kill our fun.” Floyd snickered, earning him a light chuckle from you.
The two of you continued reminiscing fondly about the past, then a familiar song started to play in the background.
A song that you knew by heart, and treasured it dearly as if it was the most precious thing in the world.
You had a talent in writing songs, and it was the first song you composed together with Floyd during your final year at school.
It was titled “When Chaos fell in love with Serenity”.
Your melodious voice blended beautifully with Floyd, Jade and Azul’s strong vocals.
Even though the four of you were equally gifted in singing, it took some time until you succeeded in recording it perfectly, and it was worth it.
“Dance with me, darling.” you smoothed your gown and stood up.
“You’re still bad at dancing though.” Floyd teased, taking your waiting hand in his.
Rolling your eyes, you pulled him towards the dance floor.
“I might be terrible, but with you, I’d dance in a storm.”
As the guests saw you approaching, they came to a halt and parted to make way for you and your husband.
They went back to the reception hall, so you two could enjoy the moment by yourselves.
You danced, and talked, then danced some more until your feet started to ache a little bit.
“Hey, sweetheart, there’s something I've been wanting to ask you for a long time.” Floyd stared at you half-lidded, long eyelashes brushing his pale skin.
You tucked the stray hair that fell over his face behind his ear, silently anticipating his question.
“Why did you decide to stay in Twisted Wonderland?”
Taken aback, your eyes widened at the slightest.
You pondered about it for a while.
Once you collected your thoughts together, you voiced out your answer without missing a beat.
“Because I like this strange place, and the people I love and cherish dearly are here.” you responded, a fond smile drawn on your face.
Honestly, there was no place you’d rather be.
“I know it was a tough decision, so thank you for choosing to stay. You mean the world to me, sweetheart.” Floyd returned the same smile, eyes glistening with joy.
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fizzyxcustard · 8 months
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Heaven and Hell
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Fandom: Pilgrimage (2017)
Pairings: Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader, Fem!Reader x Original male character
Word count: 2888
Warnings: Language, angst, arranged marriage, sexual references, slight religious/spiritual symbols and references.
Summary: From the imagine “Raymond has lost all hope of love and completely shut his heart down after losing everyone he has ever loved. Until he meets you.” 
Comments: Requested by @linasofia and @sazzlep Thank you to @glassgulls for reading over this for me and giving me your opinions on pacing and how to end the fic. 
As always, if you wish to be added to my tag lists, please let me know.
It had been four months now since Raymond had returned home. Every night and he saw that dreaded beach, and could feel the Mute biting into his flesh, ripping skin from his neck. The smell and taste of blood would still linger around Raymond as he sat bolt upright in bed, sweat pouring down him. When would the dreams stop? Unconsciously, every time Raymond had the dream and he would run his fingertips over the scar, feeling it tingle. 
Raymond trained his men, barking demands at them in the field. Then he would drink in his study, trying to drown out the memories. Hellfire burned in his mind, making him re-live the scene of every murder he had committed. It was the same endless cycle, day in and day out. Somewhere inside him, Raymond hoped for another war, just to break out of the monotony of what his life had become. Even his sexual appetite seemed to have disappeared, abandoning him to a never-ending world of darkness and repetition. 
***
You smiled as you walked swiftly to the training field to meet Henri, your fiancée. In your hands was a basket, filled with cheese, bread and an assortment of locally picked fruits, such as apples and grapes. 
The day was bright, with the midday sun leaving a soft warmth in the air. It was now late spring, almost summer. Your favourite time of year when all the plants were at their brightest, baby animals began to venture from their nests, and days grew longer. 
You were taking a short break from your sewing so that you could come and spend time with Henri. He was the same age as you, and the two of you had known each other since you were children. Truth be told, you loved Henri, but it was your family who had pushed for your matrimonial union. Otherwise you would have been just as happy remaining friends with him. After all, you knew deep down that his heart would never truly belong to you, but to a woman named Lucille. 
Raymond de Merville, the Baron’s son, was giving out demands to his soldiers, pacing in a line before them. You waited patiently at the door to the main armoury, watching in fascination as the soldiers sparred. 
Suddenly you noticed Raymond’s eyes study you. “What is that woman doing here?” he snapped. 
The men all looked at you, and in those moments you felt a huge blush hit your cheeks. 
“She is my fiancée,” Henri announced. He then requested to temporarily leave the training session to see you. Raymond rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed. 
You smiled at Henri. “I was hoping we could spend lunchtime together. I made some food for us, to enjoy while the weather is good.” 
Raymond couldn’t help but keep his attention locked on you and Henri for a few seconds, and he listened to your sweet voice offer such kindness. He had had a fiancée once, but lost her to another man. The thought of her made him snarl and he felt a pang of disgust hit him, and he pushed it all away. 
It wasn’t long before Raymond stood his men down for their lunches, allowing Henri to sit with you. The two of you spoke about your upcoming wedding, and you couldn’t help but notice the way Henri hung his blonde head. The smiles curled his lips upward, but there was no spark in his eyes. And by the time that Henri had had his fill of food, he excused himself away. 
You watched him walk away towards the long path which led up to the barns. He was heading to see Lucille. Of course that was where he was going. 
With a sigh, you pulled together all the foods and put them back in your basket. 
In the corner of your eye and you could see Raymond watching you. He was sat alone, whilst the rest of the twenty or so men all sat in pairs or groups. All of them were eating, accept for Raymond. 
You walked toward Raymond, feeling your heart begin to race. His icy eyes were always intense, scaring you. “I have some food left if you would like some, Sir Raymond,” you said softly. “Please take what you’d like.” You placed the basket down. His eyes grazed over the basket and then lifted to focus on you. 
“You do know that Henri has his sights set elsewhere?” Raymond asked coldly. “Some woman up in the barn.” 
A lump rose in your throat. Despite you not being in love with Henri, you still wished that he would at least attempt to play the part of your fiancée, and not make his lack of interest in you so obvious. 
Raymond watched your expression as your gaze flitted back and forth, not quite sure where to rest. Your lips quivered. That feeling of being second best – he knew it all so well. 
“I know not to bother making him lunch again,” you said, finally being able to speak. “I may as well make it for you as I assume you would be more grateful for the effort.” 
“And the company,” Raymond replied. 
Those words made a tingle race up your spine. His voice was deep, and as it hit your ears, it was like pure velvet wrapping around you. You looked at him, allowing yourself to study him properly. Raymond was a handsome man, easily being in the middle of his fourth decade. He had a long, sharp nose, thin lips, and a steadily growing beard. He certainly looked and acted more experienced than Henri. 
***
The next day, and the next, and the next, you prepared food, but instead of giving it to Henri, you chose to sit with Raymond. You waited until Henri had disappeared for his rendezvous with Lucille, and sat with Raymond. None of the other men ever spoke to him outside of training, you noticed. But each lunch time, he gave you a smile as you offered him food. 
On the fourth day, you asked Raymond why he never brought food. 
“I am not always hungry, or in the mood to eat,” he replied. 
You couldn’t help but look at the large scar on his neck, which he had sustained when away in battle months earlier. Stories of Raymond’s ordeal had circulated around the village, but no one seemed to know the exact details. 
He noticed you studying his scar and smirked. He liked it when you studied him as he had observed over the last four days since meeting you that you tended to look away from him most of the time. Raymond could not deny that he found you attractive, and that longing to bed a woman was starting to rise. But you were betrothed to another, albeit a man who did not truly want you. Raymond at least honoured that. 
“You must eat, Raymond, to keep up your strength. I’m glad that I ventured down here now, even if my husband-to-be would rather be with another woman, I know that you are eating something, at least,” you said sadly. 
“Why are you marrying him?” Raymond asked bluntly. 
“Our families have been friends for years, and so have I and Henri. Our fathers arranged the marriage, wanting us to wed. And it seemed like a good fit; I do love Henri.” 
Raymond noticed you look at the grass beneath yourself as you said the words ‘I do love Henri’. 
“I’ve always supported him in anything that he has wanted to do.” 
“Is he there for you in return?” 
The question hit you hard in the chest. You knew the answer but could not bring yourself to vocalise it. Tears welled in your eyes and you sniffed, looking away in embarrassment. “I should return to my mother now. I’m sorry to keep you, Raymond.” 
“You are not keeping me.” He then said your name softly. 
You looked at him and his gaze bore through you, as if he were undressing each and every part of your whole being. A shiver raced down your spine and butterflies flapped in your stomach. How could this man beckon such a huge tidal wave of arousal within you? 
Raymond’s lips parted, but he held the words back. 
“Goodbye, Sir Raymond,” you said softly, and turned to leave. 
Raymond watched you walk away, following the path back up toward the main village. However could Henri ignore your kindness? Your sincerity. Your innocence. Whenever Raymond was with you and he felt that child side of himself rise. The memory of all the hellfire disappeared, leaving a shaft of heavenly light, with you at the centre. 
***
You did not come to see Raymond the next day, and so he felt nothing but disappointment in his heart. At lunchtime, he grit his teeth as he watched Henri take the walk towards the barns. To have a woman be devoted to him, even though she was not in love, and still tried to make a worthy wife. Raymond could only imagine what you would be like with a man you actually loved. 
The next day and you were missing again. What had happened to make you disappear? Raymond craved your company. Even though your meetings only lasted less than an hour, he had grown to finally appreciate company again. His mind would keep going off on tangents, searching for you. 
Raymond trusted Auben, his second in command, and asked him to speak with you. To go to your home and ask for your presence at dinner, with him, at the de Merville chateau. 
Dinner time came, and finally Raymond heard a knock on the door of the main dining hall. The head cook announced your arrival. 
You stepped into the hall, looking around at the stag head on the wall which was mounted above a huge fireplace. In front of the fireplace was Raymond, who got to his feet in order to greet you. “I’m glad you came,” he said. “I wished to show my gratitude for your company the last four days.” He looked at you, clothed in an emerald dress which seemed to bring out that beautiful sparkle in your eyes.
“You didn’t have to do such a thing, Sir Raymond,” you told him, taking a seat just down the table from him on his left hand side. “I’ve enjoyed our time together and wanted to make sure you were eating.” 
“Why did you stop coming?” Raymond asked. Sometimes his questioning was blunt and to the point, catching you off guard. 
You sighed, looking down again. “I…I know my place with Henri. His heart belongs to Lucille, and I will only be his wife in name only. But I still want to honour him as my fiancée. Going to see you was becoming inappropriate, even though I have been concerned for you.” 
“Then why did you come tonight?” 
“I don’t know,” you whispered. 
Raymond got to his feet and walked to your chair, looking down at you.
Your heart was thundering in your chest, beating so loud that you were terrified that he could hear it. 
“I know why you came. Despite wanting to honour Henri, you still hope for something true. You want a man to love you, treasure you, put you at the centre of everything in his life.” 
Tears fell down your cheeks at the sound of Raymond laying everything down before you. Of course that was what you wanted. You had wanted it since you were a little girl who was old enough to understand the ways of the world. 
“Such a stupid thing to dream,” you sobbed. 
Raymond whispered your name. “In a world of hell, you have become my heaven.” 
“We barely know each other, Sir Raymond,” you told him, feeling that all too familiar stir lower down your body. No man had ever made you feel so aroused. In fact, you had kept your maidenhood preserved, as was expected. “I really do not feel this is appropriate at all.” 
You shifted away from him and got to your feet, again averting your gaze from him. 
Raymond growled. “Henri is a fucking fool.” 
“You have known me for no more than four days. Our conversation has been brief, so you surely cannot say that you feel something for me? Unless it is company warming your bed that you require.” 
A smirk grew on Raymond’s face. He had seen the fire inside you rise on a few occasions when speaking with you. There was a flame in your eyes, and in your words. That flame would make sure that no one took advantage of you, either physically or of your virtuous nature. 
“Do you think Henri cares that you are here?!” Raymond roared. “When each day that you have visited me, he has been off fucking her in the barn. The man has no honour.”
“And you do?” 
“You may not think highly of me, but I will not allow you to remain in their shadow. For all the kindness and honour you show toward him, you could be showing that to another man who would walk through hellfire for you, and make sure you remain as pure as an angel heaven sent.” 
“Raymond…” you whispered. You looked at him, seeing a sadness rise in his icy blue depths. It was a sadness you had not seen before. The very sight of him being so open made you step forward and then reach out, cupping his cheek. “I am not worth anything to anyone.” 
“You are to me. What little heart I have been given has always found its way to those who have broken it. I want you to have it, and I will be that man you have always wanted.” 
“You needn’t be anything more than the man you already are,” you told him. 
Raymond rushed at you and kissed you hard. It felt as if you were melting away, merging with him. His tongue was hot and demanding in your mouth, needing and wanting. 
Heat flared in his gut and down in his breeches, rising so high that he was sure his self-control would snap. Your body was pure perfection beneath his calloused hands, and he wanted to get at it all. 
“We cannot, Raymond,” you whispered sadly, pulling away. You kissed his brow softly, and then peppered his face with pecks of love. “The arrangement has been finalised. I marry Henri next month.” 
“Henri can marry his woman, and I shall marry you.” 
“Please…Find someone else more worthy than me. I am destined to be Henri’s wife, even if not the one who has his heart. I cannot change that.” 
Raymond was still holding you tight. “I was to be married, and I loved her. But she left me for another. Our wedding was arranged, but she left me, days before we were to meet at the altar.” 
“Then please, do not let this go any further. I will not be the reason for you having a broken heart again. Let me go.” 
“I know you feel something for me. Why else would you have come tonight? I am sure that you and Henri have never shared a kiss like that.” 
“That is the first time I have ever kissed a man.” 
Raymond couldn’t help himself and kissed your cheek, then moved down to your neck. 
You felt electricity surge through you and you clung to him so tight. The waves of pleasure and the gathering tempo at the juncture of your thighs made you groan.
“Let me in, my love, and we can experience heaven together,” he whispered. 
You put your hand to his cheek. “Please don’t hate me. I can’t dishonour Henri and my family. Try and understand.” 
Raymond bowed his head, feeling the mixture of anger and sadness rise. It caused a ball of pain to form in his throat and he pulled away, remaining silent as he turned his back to you. 
You felt nothing but guilt for causing him such pain. True, you had barely had time to know each other, but something was pulling the two of you in closer, an unseen force that knew you were destined to be entwined. 
Without another word, you slipped out of the hall and exited the chateau. It was dusk now, with only a thin strip of golden light hanging on the horizon. You sighed and then took in a deep breath, ready to head home. 
A chill was beginning to set in now and it refreshed you, cooling off the humidity of the day. Thoughts of Raymond would not leave you, as they had not done now since the first meeting you had with him. The man had burrowed himself into your soul, and you knew that any resistance to him was going to be incredibly difficult. 
Once home and you undressed into your night slip, having lied to your mother and father, telling them you had spent the evening with Henri. 
When your head hit the pillow, you gazed out of your window, watching the stars twinkle high above. Maybe in another life you and Raymond could have meant to be together. For this one, you would have to make do with your family’s arrangements and with being second best. 
(To be continued)
***
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blues824 · 1 year
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Obey Me brothers with a female reader who's capable of manipulating all forms of earth (rocks, sand, metals, gemstones, dirt, glass, etc)? Happy New Year BTW!!
I made reader sound like Demeter, which wasn’t my intention.
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Lucifer
The first moment he experienced your power was when you first arrived at the Devildom in the Council Room. You were scared, so you raised a boulder up (destroying the floor of the room), and held it so as to make sure you were ready to fight.
After calming you down, you apologized and fixed the floor, and it looked like it was never destroyed in the first place. Lucifer wasn’t even angry, he was impressed. He thought humans didn’t have powers, so this came as a shock to him.
From that point on, you only used your powers to threaten Mammon, which the eldest brother found quite amusing. It kept the second eldest in line, so Luci over here didn’t have a problem with it at all. He might actually let you have your go at him if you so desire.
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Mammon
When you raised the boulder, he shrieked like a little child. Last time he checked, you weren’t a witch and therefore you shouldn't have this ability. Mans is cowering behind Lucifer, using him as a barrier to put some space between the two of you.
Once you calmed down, Mammon was still freaked out. You even fixed the floor, which made him panic even more. He was shaking in his boots. You apologized for scaring him, but he tried to convince you that he wasn’t scared at all. It might have worked if his voice didn’t crack.
From then on, he might ask you to use your power to help him evade either his brothers or the witches he made deals with. It’s your choice if you want to help him, and if you do he’ll get you something as a symbol of gratitude. You will be his favorite person.
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Leviathan
He was honestly amazed when you made a boulder levitate, and in that moment you reminded him of so many different characters who had the same power. He was still very freaked out because you had the power to small all of them with the earth, but that was secondary to his fascination.
Once you calmed down and fixed the floor, Levi went in a whole rant about the many different characters you reminded him of. He got embarrassed about going off on a tangent, but you reassured him it was totally fine.
I feel like you both got close because he has a close connection with water, and you were one with the earth. You both had entire worlds to show each other, and you were the only one who was able to bring him outside just to talk to him about the fertility of a plot of land.
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Satan
Mans was certainly shocked when you just threatened to crush everyone with a boulder upon first arriving at the Devildom, but he understood that this situation wasn’t very normal. So, he took on the task of calming you down (ironic, isn’t it?)
When he successfully deescalated the situation, he proceeded to ask you a bunch of questions about your earth manipulation abilities since they weren’t shown in your student profile. You gladly answered each of them, and that started a spark between the two of you.
Satan went on to conduct a bunch of research to find out more about your abilities, and how a human could accumulate them. You were glad to see someone so interested, so you gladly gave a few lessons on earth and the extent of your powers.
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Asmodeus
He definitely let out a loud scream of terror when he saw the floor being torn up and formed into a roughly shaped ball for you to direct if anyone tried to attack you. What was worse was that his charm didn’t work on you, so he couldn’t really do anything besides hide behind his older brothers.
When you had calmed down, he admired your abilities as well as how beautiful you were.  Beauty is strength, after all, and you definitely just showed that. So, he grew attached to you at the hip, much like he was normally.
As the two of you did skincare with each other at night, he would listen as you went on rants about how different the Devildom soil was compared to the Human Realm soil. You’ve even taught him how to take care of flowers so that he may keep his room beautiful and nice-smelling.
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Beelzebub 
He was ready to fight back when he saw the floor breaking up and being formed into rough spheres, as well as you getting ready to attack. Lucifer had everyone stop before anything got destroyed, and he explained what was going on.
Beel was quite impressed since he assumed you wouldn’t have any powers, and once you got settled in he asked if you wanted to go grab some food and talk a bit, to which you accepted (because who wouldn’t?). At the snack store, he asked a few questions about your earth manipulation, and you answered to the best of your abilities.
Through that one ‘date’, you both gained a connection that the demon never thought he would have. He loved you and the strength you show when you use your powers, and it’s the perfect durability test for him for training. Carrying a boulder has to give you at least a bit more muscle.
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Belphegor
He got to first witness your power when you brought a bag of rocks with you to the attic when you first heard him calling for help. He didn’t expect you to fling a bunch of stones out of surprise at the gate that held him back from the rest of the realm.
After a few tries of hitting the gate with more rocks and no results, Belphie began planning out how he could use your powers to his benefit. However, as you came back to see him time and time again, he got to have a close relationship with you.
When he got out of his prison, he expected you to use your powers. He didn’t expect for a boulder to be hurled in his direction, hitting him in the head in the process. That allowed his brothers to get a hold of him before he could harm you, though.
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yuikomorii · 9 months
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If it’s not rude of me, I’d like to ask how is Ayato the favorite in Japan among fans?
I’d always assumed it was Shuu, since he consistently ranked first in the polls and that Ayato was the favorite among the people who don’t play the games but buy merch, so that’s why he got a push in merch. I do not mean to offend, I quite like Ayato, I’m just curious.
(I apologize if my English is bad, it’s not my first language.)
// Shu has more active and sociable stans, Ayato has more solo and private stans in Japan. Popularity polls never really show how popular a character truly is because 1) you can vote once a day everyday in some cases, 2) it’s not that hard sending a link to your friends/followers in order to vote for your favorite character and 3) not everyone votes. I’ve never even seen any DL character get close to even 10k votes and I’m sure all of them have over 1 million fans. I mean… Just take a look at Piofiore's Dante, who came in first in the popularity poll, although Yang and Nicola are much more well-liked. The same is true for Lupin from C:R; even though he tops the polls, Van Helsing and Saint-Germain are all the rage. If we interpret it that way, Kou won the 2022 poll too, right? Ayato also won the 2017 Rejet shop poll, which took place in Tokyo.
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Shu is still indeed very popular in the Japanese DL fandom, but Ayato is more popular in the Japanese otoge fandom and with locals. Sometimes you’ll find Shu merch a bit more expensive than Ayato’s one, other times you’ll find Ayato more expensive than Shu. It simply depends on how the sellers view the situation.
Another possibility is that Shu’s stans aren’t as active as they were in the past since things change or Ayato just had a huge DL fans boost. I know votes aren’t everything but the fact fans voted Ayato’s CD as the best Daylight one and also won best overall CD drama in 2022, surprised me a lot because I, at least, never found his CD dramas particularly good.
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I made a post about this once, and as I said, it started off as a joke but Ayato is truly an IT boy, lol. A famous idol cosplayed him once… that should say it all. In 2020, people recommended him so much that he ended up co-starring at “Nino-san”, a program held by Kazunari Ninomiya, a national idol as well. I don’t know how, since he’s literally 40 years old, but he somehow knew who Ayato was and even smiled when he saw him. Moreover, the interviewer literally went to a stranger and interviewed her, then she started shaking and laughing when she saw Ayato and even admitted being his fan. That, imo, shows how HUGE Ayato must me, if even random people know who he is and bias him too.
I don’t think any Diaboy could ever be more known and loved than Ayato is outside of the DL fandom but that’s not because of his character or anything like that, but due to his unbeatable visuals. You’ll see a lot of people saying that his face is ideal/perfect/desirable, as seen here, and they’re not even joking. Most people find Ayato the most good-looking one there because he is the closest to their beauty standard. Don’t get me wrong, everyone is very handsome; Shu has one of the most liked designs too but the reason why his visuals are not more praised than Ayato’s ones is because he looks too western. Japanese people are fascinated by western features but they don’t want to look like that; the majority would prefer someone that fits their ideal of beauty more. Ayato has canonically big eyes, a small face but not too small, long dark lashes, a youthful and quite androgynous face but that still shows some masculinity, a slender yet muscular body, above average height (170cm) but not too tall. That’s what makes him visually perfect.
To sum it up, all DL characters still have their fans but due to the fact that a lot of other otome games came out, they lost some hype they used to have. Ayato still manages to be the most talked about, praised and trending character at the moment merely because of his visuals, since that’s what sets him apart. Him being super pretty makes otoge fans and locals bias him, so they desire his merch, plus he got a big amount of DL fans too. Is he the most popular in the jp DL fandom? Idk, I don’t think anyone could truly measure that. Is he the most popular DL character there? Yes.
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cowboyshit · 3 months
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If I remember correctly, I think Evil Uno said something along the lines of Adam still not being happy even when he was champion. What are your thoughts on that?
oh, you don't even KNOW how excited I am about this ask. I'm going to have to tuck my answer under a readmore. this was honestly a change in hangman's character that I LOVED and always wished could have been more fully played out.
firstly, yes! evil uno told adam specifically: [The Dark Order was] there for your big moment when you won the championship, but you weren't happy. You never seemed happy. I don't know if you thought this was going to be your big moment and it wasn't enough. I hope you find what does makes you happy, but I don't think that championship was it.
I felt like this was a subtle piece of story that most people did NOT pick up on until it was a little too late, because adam lost the belt and couldn't continue telling whatever character arc he'd been working on - which I will ALWAYS BE UPSET ABOUT. some of his best work is in the subtlety of his long-term storytelling and in the brief time he had the belt we saw him go from happy to have it, to feeling the pressure of carrying the belt and the matches he was having to go through, to these brief moments where he would act like the weight of it felt burdensome. there's even a shot (one of my favorites) where he's walking down the ramp with it on his shoulder and he looks over at it and seems upset that it's there.
which is so FASCINATING for a character who chased after it for years with such a hunger, it oftentimes blew up years-long friendships. for a character who proclaimed at the very start of the company that they WOULD be the champion, to finally hold it, and not actually feel satisfied? TRAGIC! the story wasn't the chase for the belt, the story was that he needed to believe IN HIMSELF. he thought once he was holding it and he was champion all of those insecurities that had berated him for years would magically disappear, but they didn't. In fact, the insecurities stuck on even stronger, because now he had to prove that he was capable of holding it, capable of representing this company. the spotlight was front and center on him.
also, shortly after he became champion, adam added one of my favorite songs to his playlist: heavy crown by trixie matel
Heavy head and a heavy crown Had a few since you came to town Where are you gonna keep them still? Winning's losing with a couple strings It's a choosing between two things It's a two-piece suit or all the frills Did you ever think that if you got everything All the records, they don't play the same?
take into account that it was kenny he won the belt from? that added on so much more pressure!!! I honestly was fascinated by the turn of his mood toward the belt and the way he was beginning to lash out again because of it. it was such an intriguing turn of events, versus "he won the belt and now he lived happily ever after"
there was so many avenues of storytelling that I could see adam building up when he held the title, and I will always find myself a little curious to know how that story might've kept playing out. even if he (when he) gets the title again, it won't be this story again, since his character arc has grown in too far of a direction.
although I am curious what that story will be - a lot of people don't pay close enough attention to understand the stories adam is trying to tell. I think he's sorely overlooked as a storyteller in this business and I wish I could scream from the rooftops how much of a mastermind he is.
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ironborealis · 1 year
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So this post appeared on my feed because I was dumb and said I was interested in things tagged "Severus Snape" because I forget how things work sometimes.
I gave them a long response but I think it's a banger so I've cleaned it up to share.
To preface, I'll say that I was still in school when the books were starting to come out, and so I was in school during the period the books are set. I wasn't in the UK and can't speak to specifics there, but my own.
Your question feels really disingenuous when you tag it #james potter supremacy but I am a fool and going to answer you honestly anyway.
I liked Snape the moment it was revealed in the first book that he wasn't the villain -- because it showed him as someone who gave no fucks about how others saw him. I had been violently bullied for years at that point, but was told that I needed to stop letting it hurt me or to stop acting in ways to invite the abuse. All I internalized was that it was my fault and I needed to change myself so that they'd like me. So meeting a character who just stopped giving a fuck about other people's opinions was fascinating.
The text doesn't, I think, intend for you to read Snape's behavior as incredibly abusive. A lot of his behavior to the students wouldn't have been seen as abnormal when I was in school. Unkind but within tolerance. He was a prick and the assumption with teachers like that was that A) don't take it personally B) If you can't do A then stay off their radar and count the minutes until class is over. I'm hoping that the sudden uproar about how abusive Snape is now is a sign that school culture has changed. Because you're right, it's awful, and shouldn't happen. But that's now, and not then. Then it was acceptable if not exactly encouraged behavior.
For me, Snape's teaching style would have been within normal limits and at least it wasn't false advertising. I saw popular "kind" teachers bully disabled students, throw coffee mugs, and choke slam 9 year olds. Those teachers were never punished. I preferred the hard asses who didn't pretend, but would restrain themselves to only demoralizing you with words. They never went half so far as those much beloved teachers. These were in schools that had long banned corporal punishment by teachers, by the way.
Plus, Snape's bullying is written in such a way that is so over the top and dramatic it's hard for me to believe that there's any real intent as he never follows through with most of his threats. He's amusing himself, which is fucked up, yes, but so is his situation being forced to teach children (a job he hates) by daylight and fighting a war as a spy by moonlight (a job he also hates).
When book 5 revealed his own history of being bullied the kinship I felt for him just kinda clicked. Game knew game, even if I didn't know it then.
What impressed me about Snape is that he made a terrible decision of joining the DE, he knows it, he regrets it, and most importantly he does something about it. He sabotages them and when he can't do that he tries to reduce harm as much as possible.
He joins a side lead by people who are responsible for his own traumas, who are unrepentant about their roles in it but still expect him to get over it. Snape isn't interested in pretending everything is fine with his allies when everything isn't fine and that's such a challenging and brave stance to take.
Because if I were in his shoes, my first instinct would be to swallow all my anger and stuff it in well inside me and pretend it doesn't exist so that I could be seen as agreeable and the bigger person. I know I'm not alone in that. However, that instinct has caused me so much damage that I will spend the rest of my life fighting that instinct tooth and nail.m, because what it means is that you are minimizing yourself and your safety in order to make other people comfortable.
Snape might have the right idea (but poor execution) when it comes to some people, but he falters when it comes to Lily. I was so disappointed with the reveal that Lily was his primary motivation, even if it's grown on me. He's so damned loyal to someone who wasn't even a great friend to him by the end. Lily smiles before she intercedes in SWM, which to me signaled that the whole scene was just a way for James to pull Lily's metaphorical pigtail (Snape) in their courtship and if I were the pigtail I'd be pissed too. It doesn't justify but it adds context for why he might want to hurt her then.
And Snape spends the rest of his life regretting his moments of weakness and giving his life to prevent Voldemort from winning, for a friend who failed him pretty spectacularly.
Most people don't do that -- they regret and then they try to get on with their lives. They don't want to talk about it. We're STILL finding guards from WWII concentration camps hiding out in suburbs after all. Snape doesn't choose that and that's brave as hell.
Snape's "redemption" is a hot debate, but I don't know that redemption is even his goal. He's just trying to do what's right. If he were really searching for redemption then certainly I think he'd have sought a more friendly relationship with Harry, if only on the side.
Which brings me back to how can you claim "James Potter Supremacy" when he's only seen in SWM, where he's a cruel bully to someone minding their own business (SWM takes place after the Shack per canon), and we only have the testimony of Sirius and Remus, a decade after his death, to say that he "got better" -- which meant not publicly tormenting Snape, but doing it in private. We never get to see this better version of James.
Sirius and Remus are highly motivated to put James in the best light possible to his orphaned son, which is natural, but it doesn't make it gospel truth. I think he may have become a better person with time, because that typically happens, and certainly he had the capacity for great kindness (befriending Remus) which makes his decisions to be so cruel even more painful. But he died and we never get to see any of him in canon except him being a complete asshole.
So why would you question how people can like Snape when there is so much more canonical evidence that Snape was a good person with serious faults than there is for James being anything other than a school bully who died young?
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