Wait omg Apple changed the essential albums for The Beach Boys this is so fucking based

Youtuber Sirius AU

yes i’m making a post about a yt au in the year of the lord 2020 get over it

sirius’s channel is pretty varied - he posts with no particular schedule, or theme, he just. posts whatever he wants

there’s gaming videos. there’s just chatting about stuff. song covers - electric guitar, piano, or singing. but he also does a little bit of cinematography sometimes, or live streams where he composes songs

titles including: “why is Mr Darcy the perfect man” (which is 47 minutes long btw), “properly caring for a motorbike engine (tips)”, “beach trip + getting terribly sunburnt (no, i’m not actually a vampire)” “pranking my flatmate pt 39”

james features on his channel quite a lot, usually as a victim of pranks or someone to play games with

he gets famous cause his videos are so chill, and often super funny, not to mention he has a fucking fantastic voice and his covers are some of his most viewed videos on his channel. and welp. he is good looking

known as the eye candy of youtube pretty much 

he’s got a wide fanbase and a huge instagram following, got quite a few interviews on TV and even a magazine cover

he didn’t expect to be famous, especially since he did it just cause he was bored, as a hobby more than anything, but hey, he has a great community and it works out fantastic tbh. the money is a plus, yes, but he already had a very cushy life cause of inheritance, so he donates most -if not all - of his yt income

remus isn’t famous at all. he's a student who works at a bookstore. he’s very much a Normal Person TM

he has the biggest fucking celebrity crush on sirius which is real unfortunate cause sirius has like 30mil subscribers and is pretty much a model on ig. and remus. remus is remus

he stumbled on one of his videos by accident. and sirius was gorgeous and funny and talented. and then he binged his whole channel. and the crush hit so hard 

they get together somehow i don’t know, i didn’t plan out this post too much don’t judge me, but it probably involves remus freaking the fuck out about it a lot

sirius has always been pretty nonchalant about his sexuality but when he finally makes a video about it - titled “yes i really am gay it’s not just for a twitter meme” - it’s actually a rather serious video (aside some jokes) cause he wants to be a good role model for the younger queer boys that might be watching him

when they start dating, he doesn’t mention remus that much, but he does mention A Boyfriend, and his fans pick up on that quick cause hello, that’s new

remus’s guilty pleasure is scrolling through social media and seeing memes/posts about the mystery boyfriend and how whipped sirius seems

at first, remus doesn’t appear in sirius’s videos at all, for like a good couple months

when he does start appearing, at first it’s through comments off camera - it’s also when the people learn his name

cue fanmade videos like “remus bullying sirius for 29 minutes”, “remus being sassy (compliation)” or “sirius being gay for remus part 1/2347823432″

which just get better when remus finally does agree to be on camera

“compilation of remus looking at sirius like he’s the dumbest being on earth” “sirius hearteyes black” “remus being relatable for 12 minutes and 29 seconds”

sirius loves posting photos of them being cute together just because he loves his boyfriend okay? usually they involve remus hiding his face cause he’s insecure, but that’s so adorable sirius can’t be mad

sirius starts posting an awful lot of love song covers

honestly sirius probably reads fics of them for the laughs (and sometimes sends remus the hilariously bad ones so they can laugh together)

sirius saves every fanart he sees of himself and remus or just of remus. he has to

people go badshit when sirius posts an engagement photo and sirius is so fucking happy that he gets to just gush about his fiance on twitter as if he’s a schoolboy

like honestly. sirius’s twitter? remus. so much gushing about remus

their wedding video is the most viewed video of the year, and one of the most viewed videos of all times

remus ends up tweeting like “funny how five years ago i had a celebrity crush on that one hot youtuber and yesterday i married him” he’s living the dream tbh

sirius has fucking field day with domestic videos: “giving my husband cooking instructions except i only speak french (spoiler: it’s a mess)”, “mario kart with my husband” “reacting to memes of me and my husband”

a couple months after they’re married sirius has a chill live stream where all he does is literally just. talk about remus and how fucking happy he is in his life. it’s so gay. and so wholesome

there’s an ongoing meme within the community that everyone likes remus more than sirius. sirius runs with it and loves it cause he loves people raising his baby’s confidence. generally posts about remus? 10/10, reblog/retweet, saves them, sirius is his no.1 stan

there’s people hating on them, of course. people who shipped sirius with james. homophobes. people who are just jealous of remus. at first that hits remus a lot, like, he’s not used to getting hate DMs, so that sucks extra hard. but sirius always tries his best to cheer him up and hey, it doesn’t matter what the people say, cause sirius would drop his career immediately if remus as much as asked

another fandom favourite meme: sirius being a simp for remus. sirius never denies it 

Kinktober #19: Paperback Romance: Eijirou Kirishima & Katsuki Bakugou

You, Kirishima, and Bakugou have some things to figure out. Luckily, you’ve got somewhere quiet to do it. 

Characters: Eijirou Kirishima/Katsuki Bakugou/f!Reader

Warnings: smut (18+ please!), aged up characters, fingering, awkward threesome, the softest bullshit you’ve ever seen

Notes: I... am not sure how I feel about this one. But we’ll see. I think I should change Kinktober to Mushtober, because as it turns out, I have a squishy heart. Today’s prompt was “Threesome,” and I had every intention of making this one filthy, I really did. But then this came out. There’s also, like, not a whole lot of talking in this one. Idk. It’s different.

Whoops. 

Kinktober Masterlist

The breeze is salted velvet on your cheeks as you race along the oceanside highway.

Bakugou’s been driving for the last hour and a half. You’re in the passenger’s seat and Kirishima’s stretched out in the back with the windows open. The ocean stretches brilliant and navy out the driver’s side. The distant cry of gulls backs the slow thump of the breeze past your window.

If this were any other road trip, you’d be blasting tunes. You and Kirishima would be singing your hearts out. Bakugou would probably still be driving, but he’d look a whole lot grumpier than he does right now.

For the last eighty miles, you’ve all been… quiet. It’s like the reality of this trip is finally starting to sink in.

Kirishima and Bakugou have been your best friends since high school. You crammed together, partied together, graduated together. You were the first one that they told when they’d decided to become more to each other.

You remembered that day above any other. The way your stomach dropped out. You’d known, you’d always known, but they’d never made it real before. For as long as you’d known each other it had been the three of you. But from that point on, it was them and you.

You’d never been able to pinpoint why that bothered you so much. Why your heart crunched just a little smaller, whenever they had to be a couple around you.

But on the night that it fell into place, it fell fast. You’d been in love with them, both of them, for as long as you had known them. It wasn’t enough that they had one another. You wanted to have them, too. Those feelings that had been bottled up for so long came spilling out one night, among tears and wine and bitter words that you’d wished you could take back.

But buried among all that bitterness and jealousy was the truth. They felt for you. The way you did for them. They’d only ever wanted it to be the three of you. But that gap felt unbridgeable.

Even now, just a few days later, it’s growing wider between you in the silence of the car.

You’d decided to take off for the weekend, drive somewhere remote where you could remove yourself from the prying eyes of the public and just figure everything out. That somewhere turned out to be a beach house well out of the city. You’d been on the road for hours.

The afternoon’s waning into evening by the time you pull up to it. It’s just as cute as the booking site promised- all whitewashed boards and sage green shutters- with a little path winding its way from the back porch to the ocean.

Kirishima- who, by this point, is just waking up from his backseat nap- speaks first.

“Wow, it’s cute!”

You and Bakugou both give a little sigh. He kills the engine, and you both step out and slam the doors shut at the same time. You’re both taking in the sight of the little cottage, and then you both peek over the roof of the car to glance at one another.

You skirt your gaze past him to the ocean beyond. It’s killing you that things have become so awkward between you. But that’s what this weekend is for- knocking down all those walls, all at once. Kirishima and Bakugou tell you that as soon as they had broken down their barriers, everything came naturally.

You’re just hoping it works the same way for you.

Bakugou cooks you dinner that night, and he’s still far more stoic than usual. Though his explosive temper has calmed down since your teenage days, he’s never been very good at expressing himself through words. You taste it in his cooking, though. When the three of you cluster together around one end of the dining table, things start to feel normal again.

Until all three of you volunteer eagerly to pitch in with the cleanup.

Finally, the kitchen is sparkling, the sun has set, and there’s nothing else to think about but the bedroom upstairs and the single king bed that the three of you have promised to share.

“Hey,” you speak up. Bakugou looks up from the paperback he’s been thumbing through. Kirishima peers inquisitively over the top of his phone at you. They both look so honestly interested in you it makes your heart break.

“Listen.” You can’t take the silence anymore. Silence isn’t you. Any of you. You’ve been able to talk to them about anything, for as long as you’ve ever known them.

But this is different.

“I just wanna know.” You scrape your fingers through your hair. Your cheeks are hot. You’re clamming up, something you’ve been doing far too often around them lately.

“Are either of you half as fucking nervous about this as I am?”

For a breath, there’s silence.

Then laughter.

You don’t know who started it but you’re finishing it, peals of relieved mirth bubbling from your chest. Kirishima crosses the room in an instant, climbing into the recliner, smothering you with a tight hug.

“We couldn’t sleep a wink last night,” he chuckles into your shoulder. Bakugou bristles across the room, but he doesn’t disagree.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he mumbles. “Let me take you upstairs.”

“Us,” gruffs Bakugou from across the room. Slowly, he shuts his book and rises from the couch. “Let us take you upstairs.”

You sit on the edge of the gigantic bed. The windows upstairs are all open with gauzy curtains fluttering inward, crisp cotton sheets damped down by the humid sea air.

Kirishima kisses you first. It’s not the first time it’s happened, but you’re far from used to it. His lips cover yours so gently it makes you ache. Especially when Bakugou grabs you by the jaw and pulls you to him, and his kiss is insistent and rousing and you feel yourself easing into it already.

They know each other’s bodies well. Seeing them together is like paging the worn paper of a well-loved book; spine creased, corners folded.

You’d like to know how this story ends.

You tumble into the sheets in a messy tangle of limbs. You’re not sure what to do with your hands as Bakugou licks into your teeth and Kirishima’s trailing kisses down your chest. His forehead bumps Bakugou’s thigh as he works to push your clothes away. You have to stop three times to untwist yourselves before you’re all stripped down to your underwear.

But they want this with you. They want to be all of you again.

You climb boldly between Bakugou’s thighs, cupping and stroking his thick cock where it stands out through his undershorts. Kirishima’s behind you, kissing his way down your back and peeling away the last shreds of your modesty.

“I haven’t been with a girl in a while,” he mumbles, kissing the swell of your hip. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

He slides a finger into you from behind, pumping slowly. Below you, Bakugou’s grabbed your hips and holds you fast against him, letting you rock your pleasure into his firm muscles. Kiri’s fingers move earnestly, dipping into your tight heat while his other hand finds the swell of your clit and begins to rub.

“Ah-“ Your voice breaks as your chin falls forward. Bakugou holds you tighter.

“That’s it, sweetness,” he gruffs in your ear. “Let him make you feel it.”

“Kiri,” you whine, “I’m not gonna- I can’t,”

“Go on,” Kirishima whispers against your skin. “You’re so beautiful like this. Y’know that? Let me see you break for me, baby.”

You come hard, as if on command. Your body quakes with pleasure as it races up your spine like a gunshot, tightening your thighs and making you bury your head in the crook of Bakugou’s shoulder as you scream.

They’re looking at one another over your shoulder- you can feel it. And when you stir to life again, Kirishima collapses beside you and Bakugou rolls you into the middle.

It’s complicated and awkward and messy, but the three of you find your pleasure that night. And you fall asleep in the same sweaty tangle of limbs with your boys on either side of you.

As apprehensive as you’ve been, as badly as this scared you for so many years, now that you’ve got it, it feels peaceful as the dawn. This, you, the three of you, is how it always should have been.

And you know nothing will tear your boys from you. Not anymore.

THE MOBSTER ONE! MYHEART! Can we get a pt2 where they actually go on that vacation and steeb is constantly busy w work calls and has to make it up to reader type of smut !!

Omg I'm obsessed with mob Steve too😍😍 some smut, bratty reader, mob Steve, daddy kink, spanking.

READ WRAPPED

"Good morning Nice!" You screamed at the top of your lungs at the beautiful view of the French Riviera your hotels balcony offered you. You hummed reveling in the way the wind fanned your hair. "Let's go sight seeing, Stevie!" You said before turning around and frowning to see him working on his computer. He had stayed up all night typing away on the darn thing.

When you didn't get an answer from him you walked to him and folded your arms tapping your foot. "Steve! Ugh" You groaned at just how beautiful he looked, his eyebrows furrowed at the screen and his jaw covered by his glorious beard--clenched clenched tightly as he concentrated on the screen--instead of paying attention to you. It was impossible to stay mad at him while he looked so pretty.

"Steve, come on! You're seriously pissing me off." You huffed.

"Yeah, well the feelings mutual, doll." He mumbled, sparing you a glance as you gasped at his incredulous statement. "I've got important business -"

"You never have time for me! I've spent this entire week with Peter or fucking Sam and Bucky. What is this, a boys trip or a romantic getaway?"

"You know they're here to protect us."

"Protect us from what? Steve I don't know what you do, frankly I just zone out whenever you talk about work because it's really boring. But... just how shady is it? Do you hurt other people? Why would anyone want to hurt you?"

"They just do. Now enough," He tried to shoo you away but of course you being you stood your ground, making him roll his eyes and call his best bud,

"Come and take my girl to the beach," he told Bucky.

He didn't exactly like the idea of him ogling your half naked body, you seemed to be taking full advantage of the topless beaches around here, but he trusted his friend and you and knew better than to get on your nerves anymore than he already has.

When Steve refused to give you any attention, instead chucking you off to Bucky as if you were some pesky task or chore, you decided to blast Ariana Grande loudly over the speakers, singing along and dancing as if you had no other care in the world.

"Hey, princess," you heard Bucky's voice over the music before you saw him, turning to see him with his hands shoved in his shorts, "let's go the beach."

And while a day on the beach and on the town with the boys didn't sound too bad... you had to protect your ego--which may have been a bit hurt by being ignored so cruelly.

"Aww, Buckie," you cooed, skipping over to him and throwing your arms around his neck, giving him just a little peck on his lips as 'hello' as they often do in Europe, "You're the only one in this whole wide world who cares about me," you pursed your lips.

Steve knew you were being dramatic and were up to no good--as usual. So he paid you no mind, that would only worsen your antics. That was until he heard you say, in that sweet raspy, perhaps a bit mewly, feminine voice of yours say...

"I love you. And only you." You beamed up at him.

"You're gonna get me killed you know that, right?" Bucky shook his head but couldn't find it in himself to pull away. Not when you looked up at him with such sweet doe eyes, how Steve could ever say no to you was beyond him.

"Alright," Steve said, shutting his computer and keeping it aside for now, looking for the remote to switch off the annoying song you had on, "Enough." He instructed.

"Fine," you shrugged, "we'll be out of your hair. let me grab my stuff, Buck."

"No," he growled. "Bucky, leave now. I'll have to have a talk with you later," he gave a pointed stare to him before directing the same to you. "What do you think you're doing, sweetheart?"

Aha! He finally saw the remote, turning off the song as he glared at you. "Do you think this is proper behavior for a lady?"

You scoffed. You had never agreed to being a lady. He just pegged you as one because at the end of the day he was an old fashioned man who was in love with your softer, feminine qualities. Showering you in pretty dresses, diamonds, pearls, make up and anything you would ever ask for. Which is why you never complained.

"Well, since you're so keen on chucking me off to the next guy, I suppose you wouldn't mind if I went and let Bucky or Sam, or both, fuck me," you urged him. Fueling his rage till he saw red.

Stalking over to you in two long strides, he grabbed at your face, his stature taller and imposing over yours as he squeezed your jaw, puckering your lips, "You watch your tongue, honey. I'll cut any man who even looks at you the wrong way."

"You're jusht all talk," you told him, your words jumbled because of his hold on you, "you don't really care about me. If you did you'd actually want to spend time with me. You don't want me..." You hated the way your voice quivered at the end, tears welling up in your eyes threatening to spill as you tried to look anywhere but at his face.

He let go of his grip, his hand still on your face as his thumb wiped away your tears, his furrowed brow softening just a bit, "You know I love you, honey. You wouldn't be here if I didn't want you. I'm not one to string a girl along, especially one as pretty as you."

You cracked a smile at that, "You can't work your charm on me like you always do!"

He grabbed a hold on the back of your head, yanking it back till it bared your neck to him, "How about I work my tongue on you then, hm?" His tongue peaking out to lick a firm stripe up your neck.

You squealed as he grabbed at your waist, pulling you up and throwing you over his shoulder before dropping you on the mattress, pulling you to the edge his nimble fingers worked on rolling your panties down your legs.

He stared at your pussy, he never really could get over just how beautiful it was. "You're fucking soaked, sweetheart," he observed, pulling your intimate lips aaprt and slibing a finger in, "This for Bucky?"

Propping yourself up on your elbows, "No," you shook your head, "Only for you, daddy."

"Good, now, tell me what you'd like me to do you? You'll have to be punished for making me look like a fool in front of my friend and flirting with him like that," he rubbed his beard over your inner thighs, knowing just how crazy that drives you.

"I'm sorry," you whined, "I didn't even think of that..."

How Steve wasn't just Bucky's friend but also his boss, what must he think of Steve and you now?

"I forgive you, honey. But that doesn't mean you're off the hook. And... I'm sorry too," he said against your thigh, pressing a kiss to it.

He picked up his phone, sailing his friend, "Bucky, go back to Manhattan, you'll have to take care of business for a bit. I have to spend time with my girl and soon to be wife."

To which you let out a sound of displeasure, "If you think you can go around calling me your fiance without proposing properly or putting a ring with a huge ass diamond on it - "

But before you could even finish your sentence he had flipped you over so that you were on your back, delivering firm harsh slaps to your butt as you pressed your face into the bedding to muffle your moans.

"I'll put a ring on it soon enough, don't you worry your pretty little head about that," he said, pressing his tip against your entrance, "Right now you worry about how you will walk to dinner after I fuck you till you can't even remember your own name."

haikyuu!! characters as people you meet at a college party

more university au’s because god i miss parties but not that i party hard i just drink and cry 

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Hinata: he brought sparkling wine with him and is now drinking it all by himself straight out of the bottle 

Kageyama: vomited after drinking blueberry soju and is now washing himself and his clothes in the bathtub under hot water

Tsukishima: he has been nursing the same beer in the corner of the house with his headphones blaring ‘mad world’ for the past three hours

Yamaguchi: has been standing outside the door for the past hour muttering ‘go in. just go in. go in !! you’ll be fine! just go in!’ 

Ennoshita: he’s been tapping his passed-out friend on the shoulder and yelling ‘hey, hey, are you okay?’ for quite a while. also he’s been wearing his stethoscope backwards

Tanaka: the friend who’s passed out cold after just drinking one beer and also has his shirt off

Nishinoya: he’s swinging from the chandelier even though he has absolutely no idea how he got there or how to get down from there. you can say he’s hanging out

Daichi: the one manning the grill but he has absolutely no idea just how many burgers and hotdogs he’s cooked, only that he’s been sweating so much that his glands can no longer produce sweat

Sugawara: the social butterfly of the party, always asks people how they’re doing and if they want more food. he drinks from a fancy flask that’s actually full of vinegar

Asahi: he just keeps going back and forth from the convenience store buying water for everyone because there’s no drinking water in the entire fucking house

Oikawa: at one point, he just drunkenly yelled ‘OH MY GOD THIS IS JUST LIKE RIVERDALE’ and was boo-ed and kicked out of the house

Iwaizumi: the one who started boo-ing oikawa out of the house, also decided to hang out in the treehouse in the backyard because that’s what troy and gabriella did in High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Matsukawa: passed out on the lawn with a bucket in his hands. whenever he wakes up, he sits up and vomits everywhere except for where the bucket is

Hanamaki: the one chilling, fully dressed, on a flamingo pool floatie in the middle of the pool with a Sex on the Beach in his hand

Kyoutani: the one who snuck up to the master bedroom of the house and rifled through a woman’s make-up drawer and used her eyeliner before going back downstairs

Yahaba: has been secretly taking a video of iwaizumi singing ‘right here, right now’ in the treehouse

Ushijima: he’s there sitting on the couch, in the midst of all the chaos, writing a paper on his laptop as if he was working in the library (he’s not even wearing earphones)

Shirabu: he comes in the earliest and gets as drunk as possible before leaving at exactly 11 pm on the Uber he called beforehand (med students don’t get a break sorry)

Tendou: his entire left arm is covered with lime juice and has been dipped in salt. he just stands around the group of people taking shots and offers his arm

Semi: lying on the rooftop with his headphones on and staring at the stars, pretending he’s the edgy, misunderstood young man in a coming-of-age film

Goshiki: an expert at doing the keg stand but he actually hates alcohol and is super lightweight. he just does it for the attention and like a praise

Kuroo: goes absolutely BATSHIT CRAZY when the DJ plays ‘mr. brightside’ like a white boy. also he’s ranting at a complete stranger about the Sharknado series

Kenma: he’s huddled in the corner drinking Dr. Pepper and playing on his game console. it’s not because he’s antisocial, he’s sulking because the cat he was trying to pet ran away from him

Lev: he has a tendency of just,, falling,,on the floor,, whenever he’s drunk. at some point, you heard someone yelling ‘TIMBER’ and then the sound of lev falling 

Yaku: the best person to come to for mixed drinks. he’s basically the bartender for the entire party. he secretly stands on a box behind the counter though

Bokuto: the one who hogs the karaoke machine and keeps singing either backstreet boys songs or britney spears. at one point he tried to do a rap song but failed and was depressed

Akaashi: the ever-amazing DJ who just knows what the perfect song to play is. he’s super protective about his job though and chases away anyone who wants him to play ‘all-star’ on loop

Atsumu: the one who decided it was a good idea to jump from the roof and into the pool before later climbing out and going back to the party soaking wet

Osamu: mixes the weirdest drinks and makes people drink them like chocolate milk and tequila mixed with lemon syrup. he also poured fricking pickle juice in the jungle juice

Suna: passed out in the middle of the living room and is basically turned into a whiteboard with everyone writing random shit on him (someone even did their math homework on his back)

Kita: the one that the sad drunk people go to and cry on. kita will just be patting their head, telling them that it’s all okay and he’s here for them, before giving them a bottle of water

Sakusa: he is basically ANYWHERE except for where people are vomiting (like bathroom or the lawn). he was going to chill by the pool when atsumu jumped in

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taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh@charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts@applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love

Disney Songs That Hit Different™ When You’re Autistic, a full Spotify Playlist

Open to updates should anyone notice a song I missed!

Tracklist and specific lyrics that fuck me up under the cut: 

The World Above - The Little Mermaid Broadway Production

“It’s like my life was wrong And somehow, now, at last I’m in My own skin Up here in the world above!”

“The sun’s so bright here Upon my face! It feels so right here Warm as love... Life seems to be Almost calling to me...” - stimmy 

Belle - Beauty and the Beast 

“The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story. About a beanstalk and an ogre and a—” - y’all ever been interrupted on an infodump and then realize nobody cared? yeah that feeling 

“Look there she goes, that girl is strange, no question Dazed and distracted, can't you tell? Never part of any crowd Cause her head's up on some cloud No denying she’s a funny girl, that Belle...”

“[That one? But you've read it twice!] It's my favorite. Far-off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise...” - SPECIAL INTEREST 

“Look there she goes, that girl is so peculiar I wonder if she's feeling well With a dreamy, far-off look And her nose stuck in a book What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle...”

“Oh, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because you'll see Here's where she meets Prince Charming But she won't discover that it's him till chapter three...” - IF NOBODY LISTENS TO MY INFODUMP I SHALL INFODUMP TO SHEEP

“But behind that fair façade I'm afraid she's rather odd Very diff'rent from the rest of us She's nothing like the rest of us...”

More - deleted song from Moana

honestly the entire song is a bit “want to break off and learn about special interest / be in my own world / be myself” mood 

“The other kids just dance and play How can you play? There's so much out there to explore...”

“She stares at the sky, she stumbles down the beaches She mumbles all the names that her Gramma Tala teaches With one foot here and another in a distant past She’s growing up too fast...”

Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid 

not only a BIG SPECIAL INTEREST MOOD... big “i don’t belong here” mood...

“Look at this trove, treasures untold How many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here, you'd think Sure, she's got everything” “I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty I've got whooz-its and whats-its galore You want thing-a-mabobs? I've got twenty But who cares? No big deal. I want more!”

“Betcha on land, they understand Bet they don't reprimand their daughters Bright young women, sick of swimmin', Ready to stand...”

“When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, Love to explore that shore up above?”

More Than Just the Spare - deleted song from Frozen 

“I'm not part of the town, not born to be queen Just somebody hopelessly in-between She's the scholar, athlete, poet I'm the screw up, don't I know it...”

“I may lack style and I may lack grace And once in a while I fall on my face But this little button deserves a place in the sky This button wants to fly- Wait, buttons can't fly, it doesn't make any sense!”

“And maybe I can't be the perfect one And maybe I err on the side of fun...”

“Someday I'll find my thing, a thing that's all my own That thing that makes me part of something, not just all alone If only all this feeling I have in my heart, could mean something to someone, how I'd love to play that part!”

“Like a button, like a horseshoe Like a girl who's bad at metaphors!”

Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin Broadway Production 

“So say I'm slow for my age A late bloomer, Okay, I agree...”

“But I'll get over these lousin' up Messin' up, screwin' up times You'll see, Ma, now comes the better part Someone's gonna make good, cross his stupid heart Make good and finally make you proud of your boy...”

“Say I'm a goldbrick, a good-off, no good But that couldn't be all that I am...”

“Though I can't make myself taller Or smarter or handsome or wise I'll do my best, what else can I do? Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you Mom, I will try to try hard to make you Proud of your boy...”

Let Me Make You Proud - Tangled: The Series

“Maybe I make things a mess And maybe you're right to have doubts in me Maybe, but nevertheless If you for once could just trust me...”

“And when I return And I'm more than you dreamt I'd be Maybe then you will realize That you never actually knew me at all...”

“Cause I long for that look of surprise When you see your son rising at last...”

Almost There - The Princess and the Frog 

“Ain't got time for messin' around And it's not my style...”

“But I know exactly where I'm going Getting closer and closer every day...”

“People down here think I'm crazy But I don't care Trials and tribulations, I've had my share...”

Home - deleted song from Frozen 2 

BIG routine song

“Wandering through the town with everyone doing all of their stuff Somewhere in my heart I feel I've not yet done enough For these people I know, this place that I love so...”

“I know how fragile things can be. If I lost them, I'd lose me They're my ocean, they're my shore. I wanna give them more...”

In a World of My Own / Very Good Advice - mashup cover of Alice in Wonderland 

“They would sit and talk to me for hours When I'm lonely in a world of my own...”

“I could listen to a babbling brook And hear a song that I could understand I keep wishing it could be that way Because my world would be a wonderland...”

“I give myself very good advice But I very seldom follow it That explains the trouble that I'm always in...”

“Be patient is very good advice But the waiting makes me curious And I'd love the change Should something strange begin...”

“Will I ever learn to do the things I should?” 

Reflection - Mulan

“Now I see that if I were truly to be myself I would break my family's heart...”

“Somehow I cannot hide Who I am, though I've tried...”

“How I pray that a time will come I can free myself from their expectations On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself And to make my family proud...”

“They want a docile lamb, no-one knows who I am Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?”

If I Wasn’t So Small - Piglet’s Big Movie 

“It's not as if I want to rule the world Or even the forest, or even one tree I suppose I could be happy, if I could be helpful With just a little bit of noticing me...”

“I'd be needed and useful More each passing day...”

Jack’s Lament - The Nightmare Before Christmas 

“Oh somewhere deep inside of these bones An emptiness began to grow There's something out there far from my home A longing that I've never known...”

Everything I Ever Thought I Knew - Tangled: The Series

“I thought no one could love me And how could I have known? I was wrong, oh so wrong...” “Then I thought I found it, a dream that I could share I thought I was so lucky, it almost wasn't fair I thought I knew my purpose, I thought that I knew where I belong But I was wrong...”

“Now that it's all crumbling, help me understand If none of it was really me then who am I supposed to be?”

“I guess my life meant nothing I guess it was a sham I guess I'm someone else now I wonder who I am...”

I’ll Try - Return to Neverland

“I am not a child now I can take care of myself I mustn't let them down now Mustn't let them see me cry...”

“My whole world is changing I don't know where to turn I can't leave you waiting But I can't stay and watch the city burn...”

Waiting in the Wings (Reprise) - Tangled: The Series

“I craved so much, and yet I kept on waiting One glance, one touch, and I just kept on waiting...”

Waiting in the Wings - Tangled: The Series 

“Guess we all are born with parts to play Some of us are stars, and some are just in the way I know I was meant for glory But that's never what my story brings And yet I keep on waiting...”

“When you have the passion and the drive You expect your moment centre stage to arrive I show up with heart ablazing Ready to achieve amazing things But I'm left waiting in the wings...”

“It's always someone else who sings While I'm left waiting in the wings...”

“Always overlooked unfairly, while pretending that it barely stings But it stings, yes, it stings...” 

I’m Still Here (Jim Theme) - Treasure Planet

“I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms...”

“And how can you learn what's never shown Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me, cause I'm not here...”

“And I want to tell you who I am Can you help me be a man? They can't break me As long as I know who I am...”

“They can't tell me who to be Cause I'm not what they see Yeah, the world is still sleeping While I keep on dreaming for me And their words are just whispers and lies That I'll never believe...”

“And I want a moment to be real Want to touch things I don't feel Wanna hold on, and feel I belong And how can you say I'll never change They're the ones that stay the same I'm the one now Cause I'm still here!”

God Help the Outcasts - The Hunchback of Notre Dame 

“Yes, I know I'm just an outcast I shouldn't speak to You Still, I see Your face and wonder Were You once an outcast, too?”

“God help the outcasts, hungry from birth Show them the mercy they don't find on earth God help my people - we look to You, still God help the outcasts or nobody will...”

“Please help my people, the poor and downtrod I thought we all were the children of God?”

So Close - Enchanted 

honestly the entirety of enchanted is an autism mood but, 

“So close to reaching That famous happy end Almost believing This one's not pretend...”

Into the Unknown - cover of Frozen 2

“There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whisper which I wish would go away...”

“I’ve had my adventure, I don’t need something new...”

“Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I am really meant to be?“

“Are you out there? [Do you know me?]  Can you feel me? Can you show me?”

Someone’s Waiting For You - The Rescuers 

“Don't cry, little one There'll be a smile where a frown use to be You'll be part of the love that you see...”

Sally’s Song - The Nightmare Before Christmas 

“I sense there's something in the wind That feels like tragedy's at hand And though I'd like to stand by him Can't shake this feeling that I have...”

“Although I'd like to join the crowd In their enthusiastic cloud Try as I may, it doesn't last...”

Someday - The Hunchback of Notre Dame Off-Broadway Production 

“Someday, when we are wiser When the world's older, when we have learned I pray someday we may yet live To live and let live...”

“Someday, these dreams will all be real Til then we'll wish upon the moon Change will come, one day  Someday soon...”

Where Do I Go From Here - Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World

“They do what they must for now And trust in their plan If I trust in mine, somehow I might find who I am...”

“The path ahead's so hard to see It winds and bends but where it ends Depends on only me In my heart I don't feel part of so much I've known Now it seems it's time to start A new life on my own...”

Wherever You Are - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin 

“I'm out here in the dark, all alone and wide awake Come and find me I'm empty and I'm cold, and my heart's about to break Come and find me...”

“I need you to come here and find me Cause without you, I'm totally lost I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far...”

“I used to believe in forever, But forever’s too good to be true...”

Belle (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast 

“And for once it might be grand To have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned...”

Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway Production 

“Home is an empty dream Lost to the night Father, I feel so alone...”

“I know that the night must end I know that the sun will rise...”

Set Yourself Free - Tangled: The Series 

“Locked inside a tower, kept behind a wall Sheltered from a world you’ve barely known That’s the way they treat you...”

“There's much more inside of you than anyone can see And now the choice is yours, life waits beyond the doors So step on through, the time has come And only you can set yourself free!”

“So use the gifts you're given Make the world your own Look inside your heart and find the key...”

“Bound up by your worries Trapped by your mistakes Forced to play a role you never chose...”

“No more letting someone else define you to a T You know that you are strong You've known it all along...”

Let it Go - Frozen Broadway Production

“The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know!”

“I don't care what they're going to say Let the storm rage on The cold never bothered me anyway...”

“It’s time to see what I can do  To test the limits and break through  No right, no wrong, no rules for me  I’m free!”

“Let it go, let it go And I’ll rise like the break of dawn! Let it go, let it go  That perfect girl is gone!”

How Far I’ll Go (Reprise) - Moana 

“All that time wondering where I need to be is behind me I'm on my own to worlds unknown...”

Colors of the Wind - Pocahontas 

“You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew...”

Strangers Like Me - Tarzan 

when u meet another autistic person.... 

“Whatever you do, I'll do it, too Show me everything and tell me how It all means something And yet nothing to me...”

“I can see there's so much to learn It's all so close and yet so far I see myself as people see me Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there...”

Beyond My Wildest Dreams - The Little Mermaid Broadway Production 

“Look over there! Oh my god! How very odd! And what might they be? Something splendid, maybe! Look over here! Could you bust? Isn't it just bedazzling, dazing, utterly amazing! Gazing 'round, it's like, to die! Just seeing it feels so good, I'd scream if I only could!”

“Just keeps on gawking- Weird how she's not talking!”

“I'd hoped and wished My life would feel enchanted! Wished and prayed The fates would hear my plea...”

Watch What Happens - Newsies Broadway Production 

“’Write what you know’ So they say, all I know is I don't know what to write Or the right way to write it...”

“It could practically write itself And let's pray it does, cause as I may have mentioned I have no clue what I'm doing!”

“Speak up, take a stand, and there's someone to write about it That's how things get better...”

[also. the squeal.]

“Like someone said, "Power tends to corrupt" And absolute power, wait, wait, corrupts? Absolutely, that is genius! But give me some time, I'll be twice as good as that six months from never...”

“Just look around at the world we're inheriting And think of the one we'll create...”

“Give those kids and me the brand new century and watch what happens It's David and Goliath, do or die The fight is on and I can't watch what happens But all I know is nothing happens if you just give in It can't be any worse than how it's been And it just so happens that we just might win So whatever happens, let's begin!”

Son of Man - Tarzan 

“Oh, the power to be strong and the wisdom to be wise All these things will come to you in time On this journey that you're making, there'll be answers that you'll seek And it's you who'll climb the mountain It's you who'll reach the peak...”

“Though there's no one there to guide you, no one to take your hand But with faith and understanding You will journey from boy to man...”

“In learning you will teach and in teaching you will learn You'll find your place beside the ones you love Oh, and all the things you dreamed of, the visions that you saw Well, the time is drawing near now It's yours to claim it all!”

Strange Sight - Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast 

“You stand in the light You're wrong, but you're right And my heart's beating wildly Strange how I'm scared but delighted Afraid, but excited too!”

“Do you long to be left all alone? Set apart with a heart made of stone? Let me help, let's begin Let me learn, won't you let me in? All the light, let it show...”

“You are a strange sight, some new kind of wonder With good hidden under, I'm sure that it's true Strange how your dark doesn't faze me...”

Wind in My Hair - Tangled: The Series 

“What if the doors began to open? What if the knots became untied? What if one day, nothing stood in my way And the world was mine?”

“Plenty of mysteries to unravel Tons of mistakes to not regret So much to see, and to do and to be A whole life to spend And it doesn't end...”

For a Moment - The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea 

“This way is left, but which way is right? Well, now I'll be circling in circles all night...” - direction problems amirite

“This is more than my thoughts ever thought it could be For a moment, just a moment, lucky me...”

“For a moment, I can feel, All the dreams I've been dreaming are real, Wish my mother could hear it, the sea is my song For a moment, just a moment I belong...”

Speechless - Aladdin 2019 Remake

i would like to send this song to autism $peaks (hate group) underlined in red and with a photo attached of me with a middle finger up 

“Here comes a wave meant to wash me away A tide that is taking me under Swallowing sand, left with nothing to say. My voice drowned out in the thunder...”

“Written in stone, every rule, every word Centuries old and unbending ‘Stay in your place, better seen and not heard.’ Well, now that story is ending!”

“Let the storm in! I cannot be broken! No, I won't live unspoken! Cause I know that I won't go speechless!”

“Try to lock me in this cage! I won't just lay me down and die! I will take these broken wings And watch me burn across the sky!”

“I won't be silenced! Though you wanna see me tremble when you try it, All I know is I won't go speechless, speechless! Cause I'll breathe when they try to suffocate me! Don't you underestimate me! Cause I know that I won't go speechless!”

Show Yourself - Frozen 2 

the siren call... stimmy

“Something is familiar, like a dream I can reach but not quite hold I can sense you there, like a friend I've always known I'm arriving, it feels like I am home...”

“I have always been a fortress Cold secrets deep inside...”

“Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life? Show yourself! I'm ready to learn...”

“I've never felt so certain! All my life, I've been torn But I'm here for a reason- could it be the reason I was born? I have always been so different, normal rules did not apply Is this the day? Are you the way I finally find out why?”

“I am found!”

“You are the one you've been waiting for All of your life...”

Here I Am - Camp Rock 

“They tell you a good girl is quiet and that you should never ask why Cause it only makes it harder to fit in And you should be happy, excited, even if you're just invited Cause the winners need someone to clap for them...”

“It's so hard just waiting in a line that never moves It's time you started making your own rules...”

“If how you’re living isn't working there's one thing that'll help You got to finally just stop searching and find yourself...”

“The world better make some room Yea move over, over Cause you’re coming through!”

“You gotta scream until there's nothing left With your last breath Say here I am! Here I am! Make em listen Cause there is no way you'll be ignored Not anymore...”

Us Against the Universe - Phineas and Ferb: The Movie - Candace Against the Universe

“I used to feel alone, just me against the raging tide, But I guess I should've known that you were always on my side. Now I don't have to be an island, cause you've been there all the while, and Now I realize my fears weren't justified!”

“Cause as long as we're together, We can stand and face whatever Kind of trouble this world tries to put us in. If you're out there on your own, You just might take it on the chin Cause if it's us against the universe, we win!”

WTWT: The Sequel | Part 3/5 [Reggie Peters]

pairings: reggie peters x fem!reader

words: 4.6K words

warnings: angst, swearing

A/N: hey babes it’s drea today :))) send in all your memes and remember to like, comment, and reblog! (especially reblog because sometimes we get tag banned :/// love you all and thank you for reading!)

◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE A LABEL?!" Rose exclaimed loudly causing you to cover her mouth with your hand and Ray to try and stifle a chuckle.

Your cheeks were red from embarrassment as you tried to explain yourself. "I mean that Reggie and I are taking things slow. No labels, no commitment. It's the perfect compromise."

Rose raised her hands to her temples, massaging them lightly. "So you're telling me," she began in a low voice. "That you and Reggie have confessed you still love each other, kiss, and slept in the same bed all in one week and still refuse to put a label on your relationship?"

You nodded. "See? You get it now!" you said cheerfully.

Rose shot you a glare. "Ray, do you happen to have your Rosary on you?"

Ray raised an eyebrow. "Is now really a good time to start praying?" he asked.

"No, but I plan on strangling the poor girl until she sees God so maybe she can think straight-" As soon as Rose stood up, you shrieked, staggering back until Ray pulled Rose back.

"Okay, none of that," Ray said, pulling Rose back down onto her chair. "No one is attacking anybody, you hear me? Even though I'm equally frustrated with (Y/N) and Reggie's snail pace to get back together, it's better than nothing."

You gave Rose a pointed look, making her mouth an un-child friendly sentence to you.

"Rose?" Ray said, giving his girlfriend a shove.

The girl sighed. "Fine, better than nothing," she repeated in a dull voice.

"Thank you," you said gratefully. You glanced down at your watch. "Ah, I have to go now. I promised Reggie I'd meet up with him for lunch." Rose wiggled her eyebrows teasingly but you stopped her. "No labels" you reminded her, making her sulk in her chair.

"No labels," she sighed dramatically.

Unbeknownst to you, once you left the vicinity, Bobby, Luke, and Alex entered the studio, under Rose's instructions of course. They had a plan. They always had a plan.

"So what did she say?" Alex asked.

"Yeah does my daughter have a boyfriend or what?"

"She said no labels," Ray answered for Rose and the boys yelled in protest.

Typical.

"But guys!" she exclaimed. "I have a plan. We are going to convince them to get married."

"Not that I don't love the idea," Bobby started. "But how in the flippity flying fuck are we supposed to do that?"

Rose rolled her eyes, leaning against Ray, who had an equally mischievous grin on his face. "We're going to lie and say we're getting married," she explained simply, stealing Bobby's water bottle and taking a sip.

Bobby glared at her, snatching the bottle back. "Do you really think they're going to fall for that?" he asked. "I mean, this is Reggie and (Y/N) we're talking about. Sure, Reggie might be able to be fooled, he adores Ray and will listen to anything he says. But (Y/N)? She's a bit too clever for that."

"Mama didn't raise no fool," Luke added while raising his eyebrows.

"I think this is big enough to fool her," Ray said, pulling out a large diamond ring from his pocket. "It was my mother's before she passed, family heirloom on my father's side." he explained and the boys' eyes went wide at the sight of the very large rock.

"I could pay my tuition with that," Rose sighed sadly. "But I guess using it as an accessory will have to do especially if it manages to get those two who are in denial together forever."

"So how do you want us to play this?" Alex asked, finally speaking up and voicing his support for the plan.

Rose wrapped an arm around Ray, pulling him close. "I will tell (N/N) that Ray proposed and ask her to be my maid of honor," she began. "Knowing her, she'll probably sweep all the planning off our plates and take it on hers. That's when Ray comes in to talk about wedding stuff with the boys. Your job is to butter Reggie up, make him realize how amazing married life would be and let him come to the conclusion himself that he needs to ask (Y/N) to marry him and while she is all caught up in the romance and fantasy of it all she has to say yes,"

Alex let out a low whistle. "That's impressive, Rose," he complimented. "If this actually works, I owe you one."

"You can just save me a dance at the wedding," she shrugged her shoulders. "Hope you're as good of a dancer as you were back in high school."

Alex's face flushed as he ducked his head. Luke smiled, "Okay, so all we need to do is get them and break the news. But where are they, anyway?"

"(Y/N) never said where she was going," Rose pouted. "I need to put a GPS on that girl. She never answers my damn calls."

"Reggie told me he was going to that diner down by the beach before he headed out. I bet you that's where they're going for lunch." Ray noted.

"You're lucky that cowboy loves you," Rose chuckled, pressing a kiss to Ray's cheek.

"And I'm lucky you love me," he said back with a dazed look on his face.

Bobby cringed at the two. "At this point, why lie to them? Just get married already," he whined.

—

You walked down the street, hand in hand with Reggie. You had just finished lunch, and insisted on walking by the beach to relax a bit. He smiled to himself, swinging your intertwined hands.

"What's with that look on your face, Flicka?" you asked curiously.

Reggie raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

You laughed, shaking your head. "You have...that smile on your face," you began to explain.

"And how is my smile now any different from the others?" he pressed, genuinely interested in what you had to say.

Humming, you tilted your head in thought. "I don't know how to explain," you sighed. "But you seem happier, and your eyes are a whole lot brighter than usual."

Reggie stopped walking, tugging you back with him. His hand found its place on your waist as he pulled you close. "Aw, you pay attention to my eyes?" he teased.

"Don't push it, Flicka," you warned.

Reggie only smiled, pressing a light kiss to your lips. "Wouldn't want to, Cookie."

"This is going to be a nightmare to tell my parents," you whined, laying a head on his shoulder, holding his arm in your hands.

"Oh come on, it can't be too hard," he shrugged.

"Yeah, you're not the only one who lied to your parents," you said with a nervous chuckle.

"Okay now I'm concerned, what did you tell them?"

"They thought I was still on speaking terms with you after everything. I don't know I just think it'll be weird if I say we're back together or whatever this is,"

"Then don't," Reggie shrugged. "Plus then I can have you all to myself,"

"Don't push it," you said again in a sing-song voice.

"(N/N)!" you heard a call from down the street.

"Oh God it's Rose, hide me," you begged, curling into Reggie.

Reggie laughed, "What's the matter with Rose?"

"She's gonna make me label our relationship and I don't wanna,"

Reggie rolled his eyes and instead called Rose over to you.

"Hey Rose what's up?" he asked while you looked at your friend with terrified eyes knowing she could probably kill you at any second.

"Okay, craziest thing happened," she exclaimed, sounding all giddy and happy, waving her hands around.

"Rose are you okay?" you asked.

"I don't know, am I?" she asked, showing off her left hand, adorned with a large diamond studded ring.

You squealed in excitement, taking Rose's hand and bringing it closer to your face. "No way!" you screamed. "Ray proposed? I've been waiting for this day!"

"It happened so quickly!" Rose told you energetically. "One thing led to another and now I'm engaged!"

You wrapped your arms around Rose, hugging her tightly. "I'm so excited for you two!" you exclaimed. "Oh, I'll be counting the days until your wedding day!"

Rose pulled away, her arms still wrapped around you. "Oh, but I have to ask you something," she said, her giddy voice turning serious. "Will you be my maid of honor?"

You screamed once again, practically throwing yourself on top of her. "YES YES YES!" you yelled in her ear. "I promise you, Rose, I will make sure your wedding goes off without a hitch. Just leave all the planning to me."

"(Y/N), I couldn't ask that of you," Rose said, her cheeks red.

You shook your head. "Trust me, I want to do this. Just let me know when you're free, and I'll drop everything, okay? Actually- do you want to plan this now, or-"

"That sounds phenomenal!" Rose cut you off. The girl turned to Reggie. "Maybe you can talk to Ray? I know he definitely needs a hand with his part of the planning."

Reggie beamed at the two of you. "Sure, I'd love to," he replied. "I'll give you guys a lift back to our apartment then head to Ray's if that's okay?"

You walked over to Reggie, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You know I love you, right, Flicka?" you told him giddily. "Like, a lot."

"I love you, too, Cookie," he smiled. "Like, a lot."

—

The drive to your apartment wasn't too long. You had been dragged out of the car by Rose, who was excited beyond belief to start planning her wedding. And although that was a momentous occasion, Reggie couldn't help but be confused. Rose was never the type to plan early, as she was spontaneous and much preferred to "go with the flow." But Reggie didn't think too much into it.

Reggie parked his car in the parking garage before making his way up to Ray's apartment. There, he found all the boys gathered together, celebrating Ray's engagement.

"Reggie!" Bobby exclaimed. "Come on, join us!"

Reggie raised an eyebrow in confusion as Bobby and Luke pulled him down to the couch. "Did you all know before me?" he asked curiously.

The boys shared a look before Alex took the wheel. "He proposed in the studio," he explained smoothly. "We all happened to be there." Reggie pouted before nodding, seemingly buying his lie.

"Oh, hey Reggie!" Ray exclaimed, entering the room. "I didn't hear you come in!"

"Congrats Ray! This is amazing, I'm so happy for you and Rose," he smiled, giving Ray a big hug which he accepted wholeheartedly

Ray grinned. "Thank you! To be honest, I can't wait to get married," he confessed. "I just knew Rose was the one, and had to propose to her." Reggie listened intently as Ray continued. "Have you ever gotten that feeling when you're with the one you love, and everything just feels alright? Like you know that when you're with them, everything is going to be okay? Just that balance in your life?"

"No," Bobby answered lamely, making both Alex and Luke subtly smack him behind the head.

"You have a girlfriend man!"

"Not that I don't want it," he quickly corrected. "I, uh- Alex! Answer the question."

"Yeah, I feel that way with Willie," Alex grinned. "I think he's the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. Such a crazy realization to come to,"

Although it was 'for the plan' Alex wasn't lying. Willie was special.

"I've felt that way before," Reggie spoke up softly. His fingers played with his shoelaces as he sat cross legged on Ray's couch.

"Really?" Ray pressed slightly. "I'm guessing it wasn't that short stint you had with Leslie," he joked.

"No," he fought back. "Definitely not Leslie."

Alex leaned playfully against Reggie. "Then maybe it's a certain college student?" he suggested.

"One that, well, I don't know, can plan an entire Christmas party in one hour?" Luke added.

"And doesn't know how to get shit from the top shelf?" Bobby piped up. He ducked before Luke and Alex could hit him again.

Reggie smiled to himself, ignoring the antics of his best friends. "My Cookie," he whispered. "My sunshine, my light...My everything." The boys went silent, leaning close to listen to Reggie. "To be honest, I don't think I'd be here if it weren't for her. She's...absolutely perfect and she doesn't even know it. She just has this ability to make everything okay with just her smile." Reggie opened his eyes to see his friends staring back at him. His cheeks instantly turned red. "Oh, sorry, I was rambling again-"

"No, man," Ray cut him off. "You wanna talk about it? I mean no better time, planning can wait,"

"You guys sure?" he said. "I-I mean (Y/N) and I aren't even labeling anything yet, and I mean you just got engaged Ray, this is about you,"

Luke patted his back supportively. "Yeah, I'm sure (Y/N) and Rose have all that planning covered," he joked.

"Go for it, Reg." Ray confirmed and gave him a nod.

Reggie took a deep breath. "You said that when you're with Rose a-and Alex with Willie, you feel like everything is balanced? When I'm with (N/N), I don't feel any of that. I don't think of anything around me, I just feel complete. Like everything that surrounds us ceases to exist and it's just her and me." Reggie ran his fingers through his hair. "I just want to spend the rest of my life knowing that she'll be by my side every step of the way, you know? Kind of like how Luke is with her, I guess."

Luke shook his head. "The way I care for my daughter is definitely different from the way you care about her, Reggie," he told him. "And just letting you know, you have my blessing."

Reggie laughed. "I'm not proposing to her any time soon, Luke," he told him.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why not? I mean, with the way you talk about her really says it all."

"No way, she's not ready," Reggie sighed. "She doesn't even want to put a label on our relationship."

Luke shrugged his shoulders. "I know my daughter better than anyone else here," he began, making Reggie roll his eyes. "I know that look in her eyes when she looks at you. She's in love, Reggie. All you need to do is give her that extra push."

At that point, Reggie still seemed unsure. Luke gave his friend a supportive smile. "You two are made for each other," he told him. "No matter what happens, you two always find each other in the end. There's no denying that what you have is special, something that no one can compare to."

"Look Reggie, I know all about giving (Y/N) time, and that works up to a certain point, we're not saying go ask her to marry you now, but it wouldn't hurt to start thinking about it," Ray explained. "Plus I think the wedding fever might give you a hand. She might be asking you to marry her," Ray joked and all the boys laughed.

Reggie leaned back against the couch. "Maybe," he finally answered. "Maybe."

—

Something was off. Both you could tell from the thick tension between you two. You and Reggie sat by the lake you two went to when you were kids. Reggie sat stiffly with his legs crossed as you wordlessly picked at the grass.

Every Friday, the two of you promised you'd meet up at this special spot just to let loose and talk. Something was definitely wrong, but the both of you didn't say anything. You two just needed each other's company more than anything in the world.

But how can a person lean on someone who's already crumbling? Already hanging by a loose thread?

"So," you croaked, voice thick with tears. "It seems like the both of us are going down to shit, so who should go first?"

Reggie didn't laugh, which caught you off guard. "You," he murmured.

You took a deep breath, wiping the grass blades off your things.

"You know things were going kind of down hill with the house..." you started. "Well we reached the bottom of the hill," Reggie glanced over at you in confusion until you finally explained further. "My parents lost the house. They-they're going back to Canada."

"W-What?" Reggie's mouth ran dry. "Cookie I-I-,"

"No it's okay," you sniffed, wiping away your tears, trying to push down the sadness. "We all knew it was coming, you don't have to pretend like you're surprised."

"(Y/N) can I... is there anything I can do? A-And what's gonna happen?"

You shook your head firmly, biting down hard on your lip until it drew blood. You didn't want to say it. Saying it would make it real.

Reggie seemed to connect the dots, just from the look on your face. "No," he breathed. "You can't, (Y/N), I-"

"There's nothing that can be done, Reggie," you told him, voice cracking slightly. "I have to go with them. T-they need me."

Reggie took your hands in his. "But I need you, Cookie," he told you desperately. "Dammit, I've been silent all this time. Please, please let me be selfish just this once. Stay for me, Cookie, please stay for me."

Your hands slowly slid out of his. "I leave next month," you said in response. Your voice was dull, not like the lively pep it always had.

Reggie shook his head repeatedly. "(Y/N) you're the only thing that's keeping me sane. Everything's falling apart, but (Y/N), you're the only constant in my life. I-if you left me, I don't know what I'd do. (Y/N), tell me what to do, please."

"Let me go," you whispered. "Flicka, let me go, but never forget me, okay?"

"Cookie it's not just you," Reggie choked on his words. "Mom and dad," he covered his mouth with his hands to stifle a sob. "They're going through with the divorce, it's all my fault,"

You grabbed Reggie's hands firmly in your own, forcing him to look into your eyes,

"Reggie this is not your fault. Don't you dare think that,"

"But it is! I told them to do it! I didn't have any faith in their relationship, m-maybe they could have fixed things, maybe we could have been normal. I would have them when you leave,"

"Reggie your parents weren't meant to be together," you hushed. "Everyone knows that, no one better than them. Darcy and Diana are good people; they just don't work together, except when you came along of course," you tried to lighten the mood, wiping away a few of Reggie's tears, pressing a kiss to each cheek. "The best thing they could have ever given the world is you Flicka, I don't want you to forget that. Divorce or not. Me moving away or not. Just forget it all for a minute, be with me,"

Reggie nodded and you let him hold you tight in his arms, overlooking the calm and peaceful water by the lake. His arms were snaked around your waist from behind, his face buried in your neck, tears staining the sweatshirt you wore that you had stolen from Alex. You wondered if he might let you keep it, to remember him by.

You wanted something from everyone. To make sure you'd never forget.

The only person who knew so far was Ray; you had a shift right after you spoke with your parents and it was too much trying to keep it all in. He gave you his rosary, without a second thought or question. Placing it in your hands before pulling you into a hug, tighter than he'd ever held you before.

If you could have disappeared in that moment you would. At least things would have been perfect. You could have Reggie by your side, but instead either you or whatever was going on in life pushed him away. It caused so much pain, so much unneeded pain.

"Hey Flicka?" you sniffed.

"Mhmm?"

"You remember that time we came to the lake that summer in third grade and I convinced you there was that monster in there cause I thought it was gonna scare you, but... you just went right in the water and tried to look for it so you could be its friend?"

"Yeah what about it?" he asked, a small smile coming over his face.

A quiet sob escaped your lips. "I just miss when times were easier, you know?" you whispered. "When all our worries consisted of were making friends and Ms. Markson's stupid math assignments."

Reggie's grip around you tightened. "I always thought those take home quizzes were useless," he laughed softly. "But I miss those times, too."

Silence filled the air once more. Your left hand found Reggie's squeezing it tight. Reggie couldn't help but look down at your intertwined hands and feel a mix of emotions bubble in him.

"You know," he said in a hushed tone. "When we were together, last year? I remember bringing you here after you passed your finals exams. I'd never seen you happier, o-or relaxed. I remember..." Reggie choked back his tears. "I remember thinking that day, "I'm going to marry this girl." I-I'm going to marry the girl who can't sleep without a nightlight on, or eat jelly sandwiches without those disgusting gummy worms in them." Reggie closed his eyes, trying to imagine the memory vividly. "I'm going to leave everything behind, all the worries and doubts, and start a family with her. I don't care if she wants one or a dozen, because I'd do anything to see her smile..."

"Reggie," you whispered, turning to cup the side of his face.

"I told myself I was going to make you the happiest girl in the world," he told you with a shaky voice. "Because you've made me the happiest guy in the universe."

You kissed him softly, you kiss bittersweet with the taste of salty tears. "I would have said yes if you asked me," you told him, smiling weakly.

"I would have planned the wedding right there," he let out a broken laugh. "A wedding under the stars, just like you said when we were kids. Something small, with only our friends and parents."

"It would have been the perfect wedding, Flicka," you said, sniffing loudly, "Luke would've forced me to make him co-maid of honour,"

"Ray would've taken our photos," Reggie added on, his chin tucked in your shoulder.

"And Sunset Curve would've played at least one song,"

"Now or Never?" Reggie suggested and you both let out a sad chuckle.

"Maybe we could've sung something together too," you mused, your fingers playing with the back of the collar of Reggie's shirt.

"You would've done that?" he asked, pulling you an arms length away so he could see your eyes. Your beautiful (e/c) eyes he could have looked at for ages.

You shrugged and nodded, "No better time to make it our thing right?"

"Yeah," Reggied said breathlessly. "I just wished we had more time. Or the ability to go back to the past to fix every mistake so that maybe we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now."

You shook your head. "I don't want that," you told him in a quiet voice.

Reggie's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "You don't?"

"I don't," you said simply. You leaned forward so that your forehead was resting against his. "I don't because I have total faith in the universe that we'll be brought together again. Maybe in a couple of months or years, but I know I'll find my way back to you."

Reggie let out a pitiful laugh. "You have so much faith in something that gave you a shitty life," he mumbled.

"You should take a few notes from that, Flicka," you told him. Your phone began to ring. Sighing you glanced down at it. "That's my mom, no doubt. She wants us to start planning to get ready to leave soon."

As you stood up, Reggie grabbed your hand and pulled you back. "Can't you stay a little longer?" he asked. "I don't want you to leave so quickly, not when we're both like this."

You smiled before reaching behind your neck and unclasping the horseshoe necklace he had given you years prior. Placing it in his hand, you kissed his knuckles softly.

"Cookie, I can't take this," Reggie fought. "I-I want you to have it to remember me by. I couldn't take it from you again,"

"Remember what I said about the universe bringing us back together," you told him. "We're going to see each other again, I know it." You kissed his cheek, stepping back after. "I love you, Flicka."

You turned on your heel and walked back to your car. Reggie watched as your figure shrunk as you walked farther, until you disappeared altogether.

"I love you, too, Cookie."

—

"Okay, where do you keep the whiskey?" Bobby asked, looking through Ray and Roses' cupboards for any source of alcohol.

"I thought you would have been happy about this," Alex said sarcastically. "She's going back to Canada,"

"Oh shut up Mercer," Bobby sneered at his friend. "She's actually leaving. She left. For real, just when we get her back. How is that fair?"

"It's not," Rose shook her head and curled into her boyfriend's side. "It's not fair,"

Reggie was sitting alone on the floor, his back to the couch that Alex and Luke were sitting on, staring aimlessly at the wall ahead of him.

"What do you need, Reggie?" Luke asked. "Lady Bunny was our friend, but she was your second half, I can't imagine what you feel like,"

"Pretty shitty Luke, not gonna lie," Reggie pursed his lips. "If I had just said something, maybe a week before, maybe years before, we could have been together now. I-I..." his voice faded into a sigh. "What am I supposed to do?"

Ray, who had been quiet up until that moment, sat up straighter and looked down at the black haired bassist.

"You go after her," Ray said firmly. "Go meet her, spend the summer. Hell stay with her Reggie this is (Y/N) we're talking about. Screw California that doesn't matter if you aren't with her,"

"But the band-,"

"We'll be on tour anyways, you can just come join us, it can't be that hard," Alex encouraged. "But at least you'll be with her. It's not fair to take you away from that. She's your Cookie for crying out loud."

"I have half a mind to come with you," Luke chuckled with a small sniffle.

"Me too," Rose added. "I really thought something was gonna happen and she was gonna stay,"

Bobby finally entered the room, a bottle of white wine in his hands. "Will you all stop moping?" he said to the group. "I get it, we all get it. But sitting on our sorry asses collecting nothing but dust isn't going to bring her back to California."

Alex wiped a stray tear away with his sweatshirt sleeve. "Weren't you sad, like, a second ago?" he asked.

Bobby rolled his eyes. "That's life," he told him. "You're sad for a couple of seconds, then boom, alcohol." Bobby took a swig of wine before cringing. "This shit is horrible. Anyway, Reggie, you have the opportunity. You have the support. Now wipe those damn tears and get your girl."

Reggie pursed his lips and looked down at his hands before slapping them on his thighs,

"Who the hell's gonna take me to the airport then? I've got a flight to catch,"

"Oh no you don't honey," Rose shook her head. "Not like that, let's pack you a bag first, we're not that stupid."

A smile adorned her lips. “When you get your girl, you’re doing it in style.” 

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April 9, 2021: Some Like It Hot (1959) (Recap: Part Two)

I’m considering a historical post for Marilyn Monroe...

After all, the life and tragic death of Norma Jean Baker is interesting, and I enjoy educating myself about film history and its greatest figures and stars...but I dunno. This isn’t really a starring vehicle for her, and I’d be better off doing a Tony Curtis or Jack Lemmon retrospective. But...I’ll make that decision by the time I get to the Review. We’ll see, is what I’m saying. If anybody actually specifically wants me to make that as a post, let me know! Maybe I’ll do it regardless.

But OK, let’s get into the movie once more! I’m enjoying the shenanigans in this picture, so let’s see more of them! First part is right here!

Recap (2/2)

On the beach, the girls are all having a good time, “Daphne” included, when Sugar suddenly runs into a mysterious man wearing a stereotypical rich person sailing outfit. This is, of course, Joe, but he introduces himself as “Junior”, the heir to the Shell Oil company, and owner of a yacht. And yeah...Sugar’s fooled and Sugar’s hooked. She invites him to come to his show that night, and he says that he’ll try to come.

This is to Jerry’s frustration, as he immediately recognizes Joe (obviously), and tries to expose his trickery to Sugar by going back to their room to tell “Josephine” about the whole thing. But SOMEHOW, Joe’s able to sneak back in and jump into the bath, suit and tie on. Dude’s slick. Sugar leaves, and an irritated Joe gets ready to fight Jerry. But just then, the phone rings, and it’s that naughty boy Osgood (HIS WORDS NOT MINE), who invites “Daphne” onto his yacht after the show that night. Opportunity.

Joe hatches a plan, with the reluctant help of Jerry, who’ll keep Osgood occupied as Daphne. Meanwhile, he’ll sneak onto the yacht as Junior, and pass it off as his own yacht for Sugar’s benefit (and his own, obviously). With the plan in place, the performance goes on that night. And that GIF of Marilyn doing a shrug that I keep using? It comes from this song right here, which serves as Sugar’s leitmotif throughout the film. And...it’s Marilyn Monroe, and it’s also that DRESS, and it’s my teenage crush on Monroe coming back WITH A FUCKING VENGEANCE, and...it’s also a catchy song, not gonna lie. 

Using flowers given to “Daphne” by King Simp Osgood, and a pre-written note, he tells Sugar to meet him that night on the yacht. After the performance, both Sugar and Joe make their way to the docks, and Joe commanders Osgood’s motorboat to get to the yacht, posing with his fake-ass accent all the while. Seriously, either she’s rolling rocks on her Sense Motive checks, or he’s just throwing away natural 20s on Bluff checks. It’s ridiculous.

On the yacht, Joe bluffs some more (equally terribly), and notes that they’re alone on the boat. However, he claims that he’s both impotent and unable to fall in love, emotionally and physically. This is a result of psychological trauma from his Princeton girlfriend falling off of a cliff in the Grand Canyon, just as they were about to kiss for the first time. Jesus Christ, the fact that this is working so well is astonishing. Sugar tries to cure him through multiple kisses, and he responds with very little reaction, the clever devil. Which is particularly difficult as she basically attempts to seduce him. And it’s Marilyn Monroe, so...I mean come on.

Meanwhile, poor, POOR Jerry is forced to dance at a local Cuba dance hall with Osgood, who’s frustrated by “Daphne’s” constant attempts to lead. Nice touch there! The humorous interludes of their dancing interject Sugar and Junior’s make out sessions, which are VERY against the goddamn Hays Code. And eventually, Jerry actually seems to start enjoying his dance with Osgood, and they actually close the place down until morning! Huh. That leaves Osgood none the wiser, as they leave the yacht just as he’s arriving.

Joe goes back to their room, where Jerry’s still dancing the tango, and he has an announcement: he’s engaged! To Osgood! What? I mean, that’s a set-up for some SERIOUS trust issues down the line, but...huh! For 1959, that’s surprisingly progressive...sort of. Jerry’s SPECIFICALLY in this to marry a millionaire and get a quick divorce and alimony payments every month. Huh. I mean, it’s slimy, but at least he’s open-minded. Osgood even gave him a bracelet absolutely covered in diamonds.

Sugar comes in to tell “Josephine” and “Daphne” about her night with “Junior”, and everybody’s happy (I mean, not Jerry, but he’s OK). Shame if something happened, like the arrival of the mobsters trying to kill Joe and Jerry.

So, the mobsters trying to kill Joe and Jerry arrive, under the pretenses of being “Friends of Italian Opera”, and are in search of the two witnesses of the garage massacre. Detective Mulligan is also in search of them, and is in Florida alongside Spats and his men. The two narrowly escape them in an elevator, then immediately go to pack their shit and GO!

But Jerry doesn’t want to leave Osgood so unceremoniously, and Joe feels the same way about Sugar. Over the phone, he manages to get ahold of Sugar as “Junior”, and tells her that he must leave unexpectedly, and that he’s to marry an oil heiress in Venezuela. This crushes Sugar, understandably, but he also gives her Osgood’s diamond bracelet! Aw, poor Jerry.

Poor Sugar, too. As said previously, she’s crushed, and she goes to Josephine and Daphne’s room to get some bourbon. “Josephine” tells her that she’ll move on in time, but she replies that that’s impossible, given that there’s a Shell gas station on every corner. Fuckin’ OUCH. 

Things get even worse when the two leave their rooms via the window, only to be spotted by Spats and his men, and are this time recognized, due to Jerry leaving his gunshot bass on the porch where they can see it. They attempt once again to escape, changing costume to resemble a bellhop and an old man in a wheelchair, but get recognized and chased, until they wind up under a table in a banquet hall where the “Friends of Italian Opera” are meeting.

Led by Little Bonaparte (Nehemiah Persoff), the members are, of course, all members of the mafia. Bonaparte is greatly angered by the massacre, as Toothpick Charlie was a friend of his. Through a comically over-the-top mobster speech, he basically telegraphs that we wants Spats dead. And when they bring a big cake out to celebrate Spats’ birthday (which isn’t for another four months), a mobster springs out of the cake, and kills the entire Chicago mob assembled, all with Joe and Jerry still under the table in front of them.

After the deaths of the mobsters, Joe and Jerry take their chance to escape, while Mulligan comes in to investigate these deaths. Our musician duo manages once again to escape, performing a quick change act and turning back into Josephine and Daphne. They make a plan to escape via Osgood’s yacht (as the mobsters are watching the roads and airports), and Jerry makes the call. Joe then hears the siren call of Sugar, singing a lamenting song in the lounge with the band.

Watching over this sad song, Joe laments his actions, and makes his way down to the stage, still disguised as Josephine. And he just kisses her, right on stage. Which...fuck me, this movie takes place in 1929? THE SCANDAL!!! But that’s quickly diffused when Sugar AND the mobsters recognize Josephine (and Junior) as Joe, and Joe takes off in hot pursuit.

Both Josephine and Daphne manage to escape yet one more time, and make their way to the docks with Osgood. And chasing after them is Sugar, in love with Joe after all that, and the two come together in a loving embrace. Meanwhile, in the front of the boat, Osgood and Jerry have...well, the only thing I already knew from this movie, and arguably the most famous ending to a comedy film ever made. Go ahead and watch it, because I’d rather not spoil it.

That was...a very funny film! Is it the absolute funniest film ever made? I don’t think it is personally, but it’s definitely in my top 10! I’ll analyze Some Like It Hot more soon enough, in the Review! See you then!

Sugar and Coffee [3]

Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 3.5 OR Chapter 4

➜ Words: 3.5k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

cr.

Jungkook didn’t know this is how his night would turn out.   The cold night air bites at his skin, turning his cheeks rosy. His finger presses the button and there’s clinking and clanking before the aluminum can comes rolling at the bottom slot of the vending machine. He takes it from the slot and walks over to the wooden bench.   “Here.”   You’re sniffling, your entire body jolting as you do so. You take the cold grape soda with both hands, and hold it in your lap. He hopes you like it — he saw you drinking grape soda once back in high school.   Slowly, Jungkook takes a seat beside you. It’s terribly awkward for him, and he’s not sure what to do. The sounds of your sniffling shatters the silence of the night.   “You know….” He clears his throat. “People always break up with their first girlfriends or boyfriends.” Jungkook steals a glance at you. Tears are still slipping from your tear ducts, shedding down the apples of your cheeks. “And, uh, first loves don’t usually last. Even if it did, the divorce rate is pretty high, so, um, uh...yeah.”   Your sniveling is violent as if you’re trying hard to keep it at bay. He scratches the back of his neck, mind scrambling for ways to comfort you.   “You either get married or break up, so I guess he didn’t see you as the marriage type.” It’s the shittiest advice ever. Jungkook is at least self-aware enough to know just how bad his attempt at consoling you is, but it tumbles out of his mouth anyway with the half of the brain cell he has left. “You guys weren’t that great of a couple anyways—”   You burst out crying. Again.    This time the sobbing is louder, harder. Uncontrollable. It makes Jungkook look in all directions to make sure no one’s here lest they call the police and accuse him of harming you somehow.   “I...I love him!” you manage to say past your sobs, voice breaking in the process. It’s heart wrenching, though nothing but the truth. In this second, you’re so utterly vulnerable that it makes him entirely uncomfortable. “I l-love Jin. S-s...so m-much.”   You’re shaking with gut-wrenching sobs. Grief pours out in a flood and salt water creeps from your eyes. You whimper, “I thou—ght I was going to m-marry him, J-J-Jungkook.” The boy beside you doesn’t like the way you call his name, how you’re crying when you say it, how you’re blubbering. “Next month was supposed—….supposed to be our...two year anniversary.”   Jungkook has the urge to wipe off the flour stain on your forehead. But as he contemplates if he should or shouldn’t, he loses his opportunity. You tilt your chin to look at the sky, stain out of way as tears spring free down your cheeks.    You sniffle, “I really, r-really love him.”   Jungkook leans in.    He wraps his arms around your shoulders. He pulls you in close and hugs you tight. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but this is probably the least he can do. What his intuition tells him to do.    He feels you tremble against him until you stop. “W-what are you doing?”   “Umm…”   “Get off of me,” you spit at him half-heartedly and he lets go as if he’s burning you.   You’re back to sobbing again.   Jungkook is at a complete loss.   You were better as a bitch or at least easier to handle. It’s horrifying when you’re crying.

The cake burns in the oven. Jungkook can see the smoke curling into the air. He can smell it as it singes off his nose hairs. And he takes it out with mitts, coughing and wheezing, throwing the charcoaled tray on the kitchen counter. He turns to the person responsible.   “Were you not watching it?!”   “Fuck you, Johnson.”   “Why didn’t you set a timer?!”   “Why didn’t you?!”   “Because I wasn’t the one who put it into the oven!” He shouts, “Are you an idiot?!”   You’re looking at him what that infamous frown — those lopsided lips, that knot between your brows that makes your anger tangible. He watches the way you open your mouth to retort...but the hesitation is visible. And in shock, he then watches the way your expression crumples.   His gut feeling tells him this isn’t right. He steps back. But then it happens.   You start to cry — Jungkook freezes, eyes as big as saucers.   Your head knocks forward, tears drip to the floor. You’re so small. He’s never seen you like this before. Jungkook’s never seen you so vulnerable before.   “H-Hey, Y/N. C’mon….”   His hands come out, but they don’t touch you. He doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know how to make it stop. He is powerless.   “I’m sorr—”   Jungkook’s entire body jolts. His eyes rip open into the night. He’s woken up in a pool of his own cold sweat. Oh god. Thank fucking christ it was only a nightmare — he’s still traumatized for life.   The boy sighs, running a hand over his face and through the damp strands of his hair. He twists and turns, trying to return back to sleep, but he’s unable to. Eventually, his hand reaches for his phone on the nightstand.   5:42 am. Jungkook: hey 5:42 am. Jungkook: u ok??? 5:58 am. Jungkook: so when should we meet up for napoleon again   Hours later, it says you’ve seen the message, but you never answer him. You leave him on read.

It’s been a few days — how many, you’re not so sure.   You’ve been binging on ice cream and fudge brownies. The area near your mouth is stained with chocolate and crumbles of the treats. You haven’t showered in a while, or got up for that matter. It just feels better when you can pull the covers over your head and go through pictures of you and Seokjin on your phone.   Photographs of ice-cream dates, that time you went to an amusement park together, your high school graduation, the fairy lights you saw on Christmas, the beach during summer break, the movies during Spring break….   All of them. You look through all the pictures, from the blurry ones of him holding you close to the ones where you’re pouting as he leans down to plant a kiss on your cheek. You miss Jin so much it hurts and you always end up crying again when you play back the videos — sobbing underneath the lump on your mattress.   You’re glad you don’t have a roommate who can hear you crying day and night.   You remember the first time he asked you out, the first time he held your hand, the first time you kissed. It’s all fresh on the forefront of your mind, and you’re left wondering what you did wrong, where things took a turn and you didn’t even notice.   And you lay like that until you can’t cry anymore, until there’s no more pictures to see for the tenth time, until you reach the end of your years of text messages going back and forth. That’s when you see Jungkook’s text and you’re reminded that you can’t just lie around.   You need to get up, go to school. You paid a lot for it and you have midterms — you can’t leave him waiting.   Having no one to turn to, you dial his number.    It rings thrice before it picks up.   “Hello? Y/N?”   “Hey.” You can’t recognize your own voice. It’s thick and crackly, making you wince. “Sorry. I...called.”   “No, it’s okay. It’s okay, trust me. Um, are you, uh, alright?”   “I don’t know,” you answer honestly and peel back the covers just a bit. “I just wanted to let you know, I still remember the midterm, so…”   “Yeah, I know, t-take all the time you need.”   “Okay.” It goes silent. “That’s it. I should go now.”   “Right. I should probably go too. Take care of yourself.”   The call ends.   At least you still have a reason to get up.   //   Even if your mind is slowly preparing itself but your body isn’t, you have to eventually lug yourself up anyhow to get food when your supply of brownies and ice-cream runs out.   It’s a miracle how you can just go on autopilot — that you can walk to the dining hall while brain dead, that you can go forward when your bones and muscles are numb to movement.   You grab a tray and haphazardly scoop a ladle full of soup into your bowl. But when you turn away to find a seat, you come face to face with the worst of it, having forgotten this would happen.   You catch sight of Moonbyul and Sandeul at a table, but there’s no way you can approach them. They’re not your friends. Not anymore. All of your friends were Jin’s friends. He introduced you to them — and they know him better and longer than they know you. It is undoubtable that they would choose him.   You’ve lost everything.   You have no one.   Your hand tightens on the edge of the tray, looking for an empty table, searching for a spot where you can sit and quickly eat. Then you suddenly hear a call of your name—   “Y/N!”   Turning around, you discover Jungkook standing up from the cafeteria bench with his arm raised in the air. You approach hesitantly in five strides.   “Hey….”   All his friends are staring at you. One that you recognize as Jimin, another as Taehyung, one that has sharp features and striking looks and the other sleepy with cat-like eyes. “Ummm…”   “You can sit here.” Jungkook moves his friends’ trays out of the way, gesturing for them to scoot over. They look at him like they’ve gone crazy.   “T-Thanks…” You take him up on the offer, not wanting to reject him and make it more awkward.   They continue to gawk at you, and Jungkook has that sympathetic gaze of his. You know you look like a mess — you haven’t run a brush through your hair, the underneath of your eyes are red from rubbing, your nose is dripping, and your spoon trembles as you bring the soup up to your lips for a sip.    “Uh, this is Jimin, Taehyung, Yoongi, and Hoseok.”   “Nice to meet you,” you croak after clearing your throat.   “We’re in introductory cakes and decorating techniques together,” Taehyung chirps with a grin.   “Yeah, I know.” You try to smile and look over at Jimin. “And we’re in fine pastries together, right?”   Jimin nods, not uttering a single word. The awkwardness is tangible.   The man named Yoongi sucks up his soda noisily and then pops his lips off his straw. “Is your boyfriend not here toda—ow! What the fuck, dude.”   Jungkook’s doe eyes look back at his friend’s. “What.”   “Don’t play dumb, you just stepped on my damn foot—”   “Hey, is that all you’re eating?” Jungkook points his fork at your meager bowl of soup. Then he moves a bowl of fruit from his tray to yours. “Eat this. You like fruit, right? It’s good for you.”   You stare at it and pierce the strawberry to chew it in your cheek. Jungkook smiles when you move the honeydew off the bowl onto his plate. He eats it. “So when do you want to meet up again?”   “Tomorrow.”   “Okay, sounds good.”   Eventually, you finish your meal and mumble something about having to go to your locker. You bid them farewell and Jungkook waves with a brightened smile.   All five of them watch your backside becoming smaller. Then once you’ve disappeared, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung turn to Jungkook and wait for an explanation.   He looks back at them. “What?”   “Don’t ‘what’ us. The fuck was that.”   “Since when did you become buddies with Y/N?” Yoongi inquires, curious as well to the sudden change that almost gave him whiplash from sheer shock.   “Okay, first off, we’re not buddies. She’s just going through some shit, so I’m trying to be a decent human being.” They continue to eye him and Jungkook sighs, putting down his utensil. “Jin dumped her.”   “Oh shit.” Hoseok exchanges a look with Jimin.   Taehyung’s jaw is slack. “Damn, that makes a lot more sense.”   “Yeah, so don’t talk about him, dumbass,” Jungkook says pointedly to Yoongi.   “Hey, I didn’t know! Don’t put the blame on me.”   Hoseok asks, “When did it happen?”   “I don’t know, like a few days ago.” The dark-haired man leaves out the part where you were crying. They don’t really need to know that detail and he has no plans of making a spectacle out of you.   Taehyung leans in closer, too nosy for his own good. “Why?”   “How the hell would I know? Ask if you want to know that badly.”   “Nah, it’s no wonder though. She looks pretty bad.”   Jungkook muses the same and he can only hope you’re holding up well — if not for your own sake then for the sake of the midterm.   //   Another day comes and goes, a sunfall and sunrise, and you find yourself knocking at Jungkook’s door.   You didn’t know the weekend was so long. It feels long when you have no one to see, no one with you, nothing to do. Even after a full week has passed, you don’t feel better or close to it, but you know logically it’s better to get up and at least do something productive. You have some self awareness to know that rotting in your bed would be a pathetic way to die.   The door swings open.   The boy’s eyes are rounded. It occurs to you that you never realized just how brown his eyes are. “What are you doing here?”   “I...thought we could meet up early. I don’t really have anything to do, so…”   “How’d you know this is my room?” Jungkook peeks down the hall as if he could catch the person who exposed him like this, but there’s no one.   “I asked the front.”   “Oh.”   “Can I….”   “Sure.” Jungkook widens the door without thinking of the consequences and you step in.    It looks like a tornado took a turn here. His belongings are scattered and in disarray, clothing hanging off the back of his chair and dumped on the floor like there was a Black Friday sale.    Jungkook follows your line of sight and laughs stiffly. He picks up his briefs by your foot. “I’m usually not this messy, I swear. I’ve just been too busy to clean—”   The man pales and jumps on his bed when he notices what you’re staring at. He tries to cover up his IU posters with his hands and his body, but to no avail.    “These aren’t mine! They’re just up temporary cause, they were, um, gifts from my mom. I was a fan of her back in the day! But not anymore! Don’t make fun of me…”   The entirety of his wall above his bed is posters of IU from back in her debut days to her most recent comeback. He has a shelf of all her albums lined up in a row with her official lightstick too. They don’t seem dusty at all.   You take your eyes off of them, not uttering a single comment.   Jungkook realizes you’re not going to tease him and gets off his bed awkwardly. He continues to pick up after himself, throwing his used clothes in the laundry basket. His eyes flicker up to you.   “Wow, not even trying anymore, huh?” he jests, trying to lighten the mood. “Your outfit’s ugly.”   You look down, self-consciously tugging on the hem of your oversized sweater. It’s a taupe hoodie that goes to your knees. “It’s Seokjin’s.”   “O-oh. I, uh, mean you smell bad.” Jungkook laughs by himself and grabs his Febreze off his nightstand. He sprays the expanse of your body. It smells like fresh linen.   He stops after five seconds when it occurs to him you’re standing motionlessly — when it hits him that you’re not going to smack the head of his side like he expected you to.   Jungkook puts the Febreze back on the table and clears his throat. “I’ll be ready in two minutes.”   You’re freaking him the hell out. No matter how much Jungkook tries to banter with you or pick an argument, you remain quiet.   //   Even if you’ve gone mute, your baking abilities are luckily still intact.   Jungkook works quietly alongside you and helps you assemble the cake. After two strenuous hours, the product is put in front of the two of you. At first glance, the presentation is acceptable, but taste is another thing.   He cuts into the cake and eats. You wait patiently for his reaction. Jungkook’s brows wrinkle.   “Ugh, god.” He sets his fork down. “It’s so bitter.”   Your cakes are usually too sweet that it hurts his teeth — now it’s not sweet enough.   “Did you add any sugar?”   “You kept complaining I add too much,” you murmur dejectedly.   “Yeah, but you have to add some, Y/N. It’s not enough now. Here. Taste it. It’s disgusting.”   He gives you a tasting fork and you take a bite. After a thoughtful chew and swallow, you look at him impassively and shrug. “Tastes fine to me.”   “What?” Afraid he’s gone absolutely crazy, Jungkook takes another big bite. This time, his entire mouth dries and his tongue shrivels. It’s bad enough that he hisses, “It’s bitter.”   “I can’t taste it,” you mutter apologetically, eyes on the floor. “I think it’s because my nose is plugged.”   “How are you supposed to bake if you can’t taste?”    Jungkook sighs in frustration.   All your efforts for the past two hours have gone down the drain. You’ll have to start again, making it once more. But—    “What’s the point?” you ask him, shoulders slumped and your entire form drooping in on itself.    “What?”   “What’s the point?” you whisper to Jungkook. “We either do well or we fail, but it’s not like it’ll matter. We’ll still pass the class and we’ll move on. And we’ll graduate and work, and then die a few years from now. It’s not like this’ll significantly change our lives. What’s the point if we make it well or not. What’s the point of worrying about it.”   Jungkook is utterly mortified at your sudden despair. “Don’t you want to do well?”   You shrug.   He doesn’t know who this is — who you are — what you’ve become. This isn’t the Y/N that he knows.   “Can you stop moping?”   Silence.   “You’re not helping yourself by being miserable,” Jungkook says sharply. It pisses him off that you’re so pathetic, that all it took for you to become so small was a mere breakup. He can’t fathom that his rival has been reduced to this. “There’s worse things out there. It’s not like you’re dying.”   It remains quiet.    He doesn’t know what he has to do to squeeze some kind of living response from you.   “You’re alive and you’re still here. How much longer are you going to be like this? We have things to do!” Jungkook shouts, throwing his fork into the sink overflowing with dishes and bowls he has to wash as a result of your blunder. And it still seems like you don’t care. “I don’t get why you’re so sad. Jin isn’t even that great. He dumped you. So what? You move on! You get over it!”   You sniffle.    It snaps him back. Jungkook comes crashing down to reality. He watches the way you put your hands to your face and he realizes you’re crying again while nodding. God. He didn’t mean for it to come out like that, for him to sound like such an asshole.   “I’m...sorry,” you whimper, words muffled behind your hands. “I just...I’m t-trying.”   He sighs for the nth time. Guilt overwhelms him. “No, I didn’t mean it like that.”   Jungkook gently tugs on your strand of hair that falls in front of your face. His voice softens. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”   You nod, wiping your eyes away with your hand. “I just r-really want to go home and pull the covers over my head and pretend it never happened.”   “I know.” He really doesn’t.   Part of him still doesn’t understand. Jungkook can’t comprehend what was so great about Kim Seokjin that has you so devastated, but he tries his best to empathize. “But we can’t do that, can we? We just gotta...keep going. And it won’t be too hard cause it’s not like you have to do this on your own, right? Cause I’m here…..and you’re here, and all…”   He’s bumbling, tripping over his own tongue and cringing over his poor attempt at comforting you. But you look up at him with glossy eyes and he lets go of your hair.    With no one else to turn to and no one that you can confide in, you manage a small nod. You choose to believe him.

the anatomy of you and i | s.m

Hi I was wondering if could do prompt cozy 3 and 12 with Shawn and inexperienced!y/n she’s never shared a bed with a boy before or something only if ur comfortable u don’t have to of course just thought it would be soft and sweet 🙈❤️

cozy prompt 3: “Don’t be nervous, you can come closer”

cozy prompt 12: We could... take a nap together?

a/n: so it came out like college!shawn x college!reader au bc that’s just kinda what flowed so i hope that’s ok and i also really kinda wanna do a part 2 to this because it turned out more of a fic than a blurb lmao ���👉🏽👈🏽 also pt 2 i’m sorry the layout of this is gross i’m on my phone and can’t figure out how to do anything ok bye

warnings: just swearing and i think that might be it

the music from the room next to yours was something you imagined only happened in movies. it was loud and bassy and everything you didn’t want on a wednesday evening; you knew part of living in dorms would entail disturbances and inconveniences, but a party? on a wednesday night? you picked up your tote bag full of reading and text books after throwing your trusty vans jumper over your head, all ready and prepared to head down to the 24/7 library on campus. 

if you thought the music was loud in your room, you could think again, because in the hallway, not only could you hear the echos from the speakers, you could hear the shrill screams and yells from the party goers. the further away you got from your neighbouring apartment, the (thankfully) quieter it got and your short trip to the library was soon complete, the dull street lamps and soft breeze in the trees accompanying you along the way.

just as you thought, the library was empty, nothing but the sound of the door clicking shut behind you filling the room. a relieved sigh left your lips as you tugged your bag close to your body, as if the room was full of robbers who were about to mug you for your oh so precious books. opting for a more relaxed approach, seeing as it was 10.45pm, you headed to the sofa area, half thinking it would be a great place to take a nap.

instead, the anatomy of the heart was more important and your assignment was due in within a matter of days. you grabbed one handle of your bag, stretching it away from your body so you could pull out your book of choice before coming around to the front of the sofas so you could finally relax and take your time and- oh. you weren’t the only one here.

even though he was sprawled across the sofa, you could tell he was tall, really tall. the cap, embroidered with the college logo, covered his hair, but from the few stray strands, you could see wild, chocolatly curls falling loose. his eyes were shut, almost peacefully, arms crossed across his chest and very, very quietly, you could hear the soft sound of music coming from his headphones. his eyes flickered open, feeling a presence above him, and he laughed at you when you freaked out, realising you were staring at him. creepy or not, he thought you were cute; the way your finger twirled the front sections of your hair, the way your hip popped to the side as you watched over his resting frame, the way your eyes pulled into a squint as if it was the most bizzare thing to see another person in the library. the very public library.

you muttered a very embarrassed i’m sorry, before turning to walk away from the chilled area of the building. he pulled out his headphones, the sound of the 1975 becoming much more prominent, and propped himself up on his forearms. “hey, no...” he spoke, “come sit.”

scoffing, you rolled your eyes as you thought to yourself, as if you was going to let a random (but incredibly handsome) boy tell you what to do. as if you was going to actually listen and do as he said. as if- who are we kidding; your feet brought you back to the sofas, perching awkwardly on the end of the seat opposite his. he smiled, not smugly, not suggestively, not even cockily, but just a pure, genuine smile. “sorry i didn’t realise people actually like...”

“used the library?” you raised an eyebrow and he threw his head back in laughter, forearms still supporting his body which only made his t shirt strain against his chest. you recognised him from around campus, and you thought he was one of the music kids, one of the ones that did open mic nights and played guitar on the beach until 1am, but from the judgment of his toned physice, you thought maybe he played a spot of sport on the side, just for fun. not like the serious jocks who lived, breathed and worshiped football. he was definitely friends with your roommates boyfriend too, or friends with one of his friends, or- something like that, there’s a lot of people at college.

“yeah, well, no. but at this hour? why don’t you just read in bed?”

you sank back into the cushions, bringing up your legs and crossing them infront of you, looking like a little buddha wearing a vans hoodie and comfy leggings. “why don’t you just lay down in bed?”

this time, when he smiled, he smirked. “touché.”

he popped his headphone back in his ear, and the music died down again as he let his head fall back to the sofa, eyes closing shut. you wondered what had happened to bring him here, why the somewhat popular boy was cooped up in the library at this hour with clearly no intent of using the facilities. he thought the same about you. you felt awkward at first, pulling out your reading and note books, turning to the pages you had marked and setting them down around you. unbeknown to you, he cocked his head to the side slightly, eyes opening into thin slits as he watched you. he’d seen you around, even told one of your friends that he thought you were cute, but you were from different stretches of the college and really, he was nothing but the friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. he wanted to tuck the fallen piece of hair behind your ear and help you lean onto him as he noticed how you struggled to manage holding two books at once and tell you not to grind your pen in between your teeth as you thought about your work and- “can i help you?”

busted.

“sorry, i just... what you reading?” he asked, even though he could quite clearly see the front cover of the book, which read a bold title of the essentials of human anatomy and physiology. and even though you held the front cover up further, showing him more of what he could already see, you confirmed it with words.

“i got an assignment on the heart, so, yeah...” you shrugged, peeling off a post it note marker and sticking it to a relevant paragraph in the book.

“can i see?” he didn’t know why he was asking, he just knew he wanted to be closer to you. he genuinely was interested in what you were learning, and although you’d only spoken a handful of words to each other, he thought the way you spoke and tone of voice was the nicest he’d ever heard. nicer than any voices he’d heard during his classes and he studies with people who sing all day. he pushed himself up, body resting into the corner of the sofa, leaving an empty space on the pad next to him. you took that as an invitiation, not entirely sure where your sudden confidence and welcoming of strangers had come from. “what are you studying?”

“human evolutionary biology and biological science.” it rolled from off your tongue like you said it every living minute as you rested down on the sofa next to him. “you?” even though you were 95% sure you already knew, you didn’t want to let on.

his answer was much simpler, and in all honesty, he felt like a fool. “music.”

“that sounds fun.” you nodded with a smile. he reached over for your book, fingers running down the edges as he looked over the words which looked like a completely different language. your body was tense, and the closer he got, the more you could feel your heart beating, which just felt highly ironic.

“these words...” he laughed, mentally kicking himself for sounding like a dumbass who literally just knew how to strum a few chords. “chor... da? tend.. in.. ee?” you giggled innocently at his attempt, but he found it in no was patronising or belittling. in fact, he thought it was cute.

“chordae tendineae.” you confirmed, looking up and directly into his eyes for the first time. you were instantly lost in the hazel pools that looks slightly lighter when certain flashes of light fell across his skin. “heart strings, to you and i.”

you went on to explain that heart strings were in fact not just an expression that people used when they felt some sort of emotion, that you could actually physically hold a heart by their - chordae tendineae - strings and they wouldn’t break because they’re so tough. you told him it would take a lot of strength and pain to actually break one. he admired how passionate you were about the subject, reeling off facts as if you could tell them in your sleep. “sorry, i get carried away.”

your cheeks blushed a deep shade of pink and you did that hair, twirly thing you did when you felt nervous. “don’t apologise, it’s nice.” he restored your faith that not all pretty boys were assholes, and maybe it was just your poor judgment in the past that had led you to ever think that. as you stared down at your book, he stared at you, wondering if he was being overly friendly or super creepy or just a total inconvenience to your evening. you thought he was neither of those, but simply a nice addition.

“so, what brings you here at...” you looked at your watch for time reference, eyes widening as you realised you been sat boring him for the past 20 minutes... about heart strings. “11.30 on a wednesday night.”

he shrugged, leaning back and falling into the cushions, hoping a more relaxed body language would help you to relax a little more too. he could tell you were just perched on the edge of the sofa for fear of touching him. “sick of my room mate fucking his girlfriend like a porn star, dont know how he’s got it in him.” your lips formed an open ‘o’ shape, not expecting the sudden change in tone or language. “told him i was going out, he said he’ll be done by 11.30.”

“and they said chivalry is dead.” you dryly commented, only to make his eyes crinkle up as he laughed. “do you have a rota for that kinda thing or is it just a come and go as you please kinda rotation?”

“well, my rota’s severely empty.” you were shocked, and thought maybe he was just saying it because he might be a total fuck boy. you could imagine he had girls falling at his feet, and you wouldn’t blame them, because those eyes. “what about you?” you furrowed your eyebrows at him and tilted your head. “no... i mean... the why are you here part... not the sex rota part...” he pulled his cap further over his forehead, wanting to bury himself in a pit of embarrassment. if you didn’t think he was a creep before, you most probably did now, he was sure of that.

to say you were, inexperienced, would be total honesty. you’d slept with one guy and one guy only, and he was someone who thought having sex on the foot of the bed was adventurous, and you vowed never to distract yourself from your studies with boys who would waste your time. it was also just a couple of hook ups, nothing serious, in fact, you’d never even shared a bed with him overnight- and you laughed at yourself for ever being the naive girl that thought he wasn’t just using you to get laid. “there’s a party next door, they usually go on until the early hours, so whether i’m here or there, i still get no sleep.” you confirmed, and he nodded, half wishing you were going to tell him your rota was also empty. not because he wanted to pounce on you and take advantage, but because the hopeless romantic inside of him thought maybe there’d be a pathway to something special. “also, it’s 11.30, so your probably safe to head back.”

he thought maybe he was an inconvenience to your evening, that you said that because you wanted him to leave you in peace so you could crack on with what you’d set out to do. shoot your shot, shawn, he thought to himself, pulling his bottom lip inbetween his teeth and you had to force your eyes away from him because you suddenly felt all warm and bothered. “you wanna come?”

“huh?” your head snapped up, book also falling from your grip and you fumbled to stop it from landing on the floor. it was an expensive book, and you weren’t about to let some cute ass boy ruin your pages.

“not like... i mean... if you want somewhere to stay. i can take the sofa.” in the 8 months you’d been at this college, not one boy had offered you an invitation back to his dorm. mainly because you hid from any form of human contact and spent most of your time cooped up in your own room with no intention of leaving.

something in you switched, when you looked back to him to see he’d taken his cap and flipped it backwards, the peak of the hat now dipping behind the back of his neck. more light hit his features, and you felt like jelly, realising just how incredibly perfect he was. even the little scar on his cheek was kissable and you don’t know where this new confident you had appeared from this evening. you leant closer, placing your book down - carefully, of course - on the sofa, letting your hands rest on his thighs and you thought you felt him tense up, but you were probably just imagining it. “only if we can stop for hot chocolate.”

“i think we have some.”

“whipped cream?”

“is that for the hot chocolate or for me?”

although he was joking, he didn’t know if what he had said had sent a wrong message, because on the walk back to his dorm, you went back to being your quiet little self, answering questions briefly and turning the questions around onto him more often than not.

you didn’t think he had sent a wrong message, but you were well and truely helpless at flirting and maybe he wasn’t even flirting with you and you was completely overthinking it, but nevertheless, it made your stomach tighten and breaths deepen. whether it was an accident or not, your hands brushed against each other’s several times on the walk back, and it was one of those cliche, awkward moments where you both look at each other and laugh awkwardly like little kids. both of you also introduced yourself, coming to the realisation that no names had been exchanged but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t already know yours because he definitely searched for you came across you on facebook. “are you sure you’re okay? i can stay with you in the library if you prefer?” he asked, although you were both nearly at his door.

“you think i’m walking all the way back over there? nuh-uh, plus, you promised hot chocolate.” he smiled and nodded, “unless... you don’t want me, and then i totally can leave you alone.”

“no i do want you.” he spoke so quick he thought he must’ve sounded so desperate. “do want you to be here, i mean, like, if you’re cool.”

you nodded, feeling somewhat... wanted? by a cute boy? who treat you like a lady and offered you his jacket even though you had your own? who literally peeled your bag from your shoulder, just so he could carry it for you? and made you walk the side of the sidewalk furthest away from the road? and took a genuine instrest in what you said?

you’d be damned if you didn’t wake up and it was all a dream. this was by far the most college-ey thing you’d ever done; meeting a random guy in a random location and deciding to risk your life by going back to his place. maybe risking your life was a bit dramatic but we’ve all seen what happens in horror movies.

when you both reached his door, he unlocked it with the key and swung it open, holding out his arm as invitation for you to go first. of course, you thought, just be even more of a gent. inside the room, it was very similar layout to yours - you walked straight into the living/kitchen area and three doors were spread across the two back walls, one of which you guessed to be the bathroom and the other two to be bedrooms. the room was dull, the television being the only thing to illuminate the area and shawn sighed with relief when he saw his roommate and his girlfriend chilled on the sofa. “well, looks like we’re safe from the porn.” he whispered to you, throwing his keys on the table next to the door.

when his roommate’s girlfriend heard shawn speaking, she shot up and peered over the back of the sofa. her eyes flickered between you and shawn, before she poked at her boyfriends arm to get his attention. “brian...” he ignored her at first, popping another piece of popcorn in his mouth. “brian. shawn has a girl here.”

“girl can hear you. and so can shawn.” shawn said, rolling his eyes as brian also shot up, smirking as the four of you all entered a staring competition.

was it such a big thing he had a girl here? because you didn’t think it would be so much of a huge deal. have you seen him? perfect college boy with incredible muscles (from what you’d seen in your imaginatation), and here you were, stunning the members of the household into silence. “hi, uh, i’m y/n?” you almost sounded like you were questioning yourself, unsure whether you were meant to say anything or not.

the girl got up from the sofa, offering you some popcorn as a peace offering before she finally spoke to you, instead of about you. “so sorry, shawn just, never brings girls here because - ow!” shawn lightly jabbed her on the arm, taking the full bag of popcorn for himself and grabbing a handful. “it’s nice to meet you, i’m winnie. and brian...” she pointed at the boy still sat on the sofa who was too busy sending brain signals and eye expressions, about the random girl in their apartment, to shawn to notice he was being introduced. “brian was actually just talking about getting a mcdonald’s so, we can go do that and you can do... your thing.”

“nothing like that,” shawn was quick to jump in and although you weren’t necessarily here for a quick fuck or a one night stand, you felt slightly disappointed.

“oh? okay, well, let us know.” she smiled and snatched her popcorn back from shawn. “i know shawn doesn’t take long.” she laughed, clearly joking about the situation which only made shawn feel like he was dealing with bringing a girl home to his parents for the first time. before thinking about it, shawn grabbed your hand and dragged you towards one of the back rooms, presumably his bedroom.

you figured it must be when the door opened and you saw three guitars perched against the wall, an unmade bed, a laptop open on the desk and a bunch of photos on the wall of him with numerous other people. “make yourself comfortable, i’ll be back in a second.” he smiled and vanished back out of the room.

taking the time to be a bit nosy, you let’s yourself study the photos on the wall. a shorter, younger girl appeared in a fair few, along with two older adults who would appear to be his family and it made you smile at the fact he wasn’t afraid to have them on display. you felt a light twinge in your heart as you looked at a picture in which a girl was kissing his cheek, even though you had no right to feel any form of jealousy. moving on, you found the notebooks on his desk that was already opened up on a page which sent your notebook organisation through the roof. the page was full of messy scribbles, more than half of the words had been crossed out aggressively and replaced with new words. it was quiet, only the sound of quiet mutters could be heard from the other side of the door and you tried you’re best to listen in to what they were saying.

dude, she’s hot

you’ve never made any other chick hot chocolate

go back in that room and get some

at least try

you tried to look like you weren’t eavesdropping when he came back into the room, holding two mugs of hot chocolate, and just as you’d requested, with whipped cream. shawn thanked brian and winnie and their weird ass sex kinks for that. “thank you.” you smiled, taking it from him and wrapping your small hands around the mug to be met with warmth.

“i’m, uh, sorry about them..” he said, setting his own drink down on the bedside table.

“don’t be. they seem nice.”

“so, if you wanna go to sleep i can leave you be and like i said, i can take the couch and you can have the bed.”

“we could both have the bed?” you’d said, before even having time to think about letting the words fall from your mouth. his eyes almost looked like they’d lit up and you blew into your hot chocolate just so you had something to do instead of awkwardly staring back at him. “if you want, i mean, i can go home, i’m sure the party will die down soon.”

“stop doing that.” he rolled his eyes, leaning back against his headboard as you sat cross legged at the edge of his bed, surrounded by the navy duvet.

“doing what?”

“doubting yourself.”

“well i’m good at it.” he laughed at you, reaching his hands out and taking your hot chocolate mug from your grasp.

“i wanna know more about that heart shit.” he admitted, missing how you passionately spoke about something you were so interested in.

“heart shit... you mean the thing that keeps you alive? maybe tomorrow, i’m all organed out.” he looked a little disappointed and you thought maybe he was thinking you’re suggesting you don’t wanna stay up with him. he was wrong. “although, modern family is back on netflix now and that is something i will never turn down.”

he grabbed his laptop from his desk, setting it next to you at the edge of the bed. you adjusted yourself, moving more to the middle of the mattress, therefore, slightly closer to shawn. you could smell his cologne, just like you could when you sat close to him in the library.

smiling at how you twirled your hair, bit your lip when you concentrated on what people were saying, covered your mouth with the sleeve of your sweater when you started to yawn, he thought; it was weird, how he just had this feeling that he wanted to spend countless nights with you, learning about whatever organ you needed to. and you thought too; how you felt more comfortable around him than any other person you’d met at college thus far.

still sat upright, cross legged in the middle of his bed, your back started to ache and legs started to feel numb as the second episode started. you stretched out as much as you could before looking behind you and eyeing up the empty space next to shawn. “i was wondering how long before you couldn’t sit like a buddha anymore.” he laughed, speaking over the familiar theme tune coming from the laptop. “please get comfy, you look in pain.”

“i am not in pain, i am simply just... respecting personal space.” in all honesty, you couldn’t remember the last time you cuddled up to a boy. the last guy used to literally leave as soon as he’d done what he needed to do, leaving you empty and alone every night. “and you might not want me, all up in your space.”

“oh my god, just stop!” he laughed, despite his demanding tone.

“stop what?!”

“doubting yourself... again!”

you huffed, uncrossing your legs and crawling up to where shawn was sat. he smirked as you got closer, settling down next to him, your back also against the headboard. your legs were outstretched, finally free from their crossed positioning, and your hands fell to your lap. another ten minutes of the episode went by when you get yourself getting tireder, head leaning to one side a little more.

shawn noticed how your body was a little more relaxed, less rigid than when you first joined him at the head of the bed. risking his move, he stretched his arm behind you, draping it over your shoulder which caused any relaxed part of your body to stiffen back up. “don’t be nervous, you can come closer.”

you looked up to him, shooting him a warm smile. it didn’t take long for your body to relax again, and it actually felt nice how natural it felt to be curled into his body. his fingers traced patterns on your shoulder as your head moved in time with his chest, a loud yawn escaping your mouth. “tired?”

“mhmm,” you answered, evidently too tired to even speak an official word.

“we could... take a nap together?” he stuttered.

“a nap? shawn it’s like 12.30am, we need a full ass sleep.” you giggled, leaning up off him to pull your sweater over your head.

“then a full ass sleep we shall have.” he sorted the set up out, turning off the laptop and placing it back on the desk. he took out a t shirt and shorts from his drawers, putting them on the edge of the bed before retrieving and additional pair of shorts. he told you he was going to change in the bathroom, and to put his clothes on, only if you wanted, before disappearing out. you took advantage of the empty room, immediately peeling off your own clothes and replacing them with his. they smelt like him, like citrus and cassis and as you climbed back into the bed, where you were previously sat, a light tap on the door sounded.

“yup,” you said, popping the last letter as he shot his head around the door, smiling when he saw you’d taken up his offer of borrowing his clothes. he says borrow, but he’d be more than happy for you to keep them, because you looked a hell of a lot better in them than he did.

he’d lost his t shirt, not that you were going to complain - and yes, he did have muscles exactly how you’d imagined him to - and the sweat shorts he’d changed into hung low from his hips and you’re pretty sure you’ve never seen a sight like it. shawn wasn’t the type of boy to feel embarrassed or nervous; hell, he’d managed to shit talk his way into getting you to come back to his dorm, just in a bid to keep hold of your company because he’s never felt a feeling like it. shawn’s clothes were the first you’d ever borrowed from a guy, never having the experience of the morning after or spending a long night with someone you really like, staying up all night and talking about nothing in particular. it was also a first that you’d let yourself be conned into coming back to a guys dorm.

“you sure you don’t want me to take the sofa?” he asked as he stood at the side of his bed, unintentionally towering over you, almost making you feel as big as ladybug.

“stop doing that.” you raised your eyebrows, pushing back the duvet so there was an empty space next to you.

his face showed pure confusion, having no idea what he’d done. “doing what?”

“doubting yourself.” you mocked his voice the best you could, dropping a few pitches and moving your head theatrically.

he rolled his eyes, plopping down into the empty space next to you, and although his clothes smelt like him on your body, he could still smell the orchid and vanilla scent that covered your skin. “i don’t sound like that.”

rolling onto his side, he turned to face you, slightly closer for comfort than he would normally like to be, but with you, he didn’t think he was close enough. you were on your back, eyes tracing the outline of the shadows on the ceiling that crept through from the blinds. “you kinda do.”

“oh... as opposed to, the deoxygenated blood travels into the left ventricle-” he’d put on his best higher pitched voice.

“right atrium.”

“-and opens those little valvey things-”

“just valves is fine.” you rolled onto your side to face him, but he was too busy mocking you to notice.

“-which make your heart do the ba-dum thing that i’ve been able to feel in my fucking throat all night-”

“you mean the heartbeat?”

“-all because you’ve been pulling on my chordane tendineae because you’re just too fucking amazing.” you swolled hard, and suddenly it was you who could feel the ba-dum thing in your throat. he was just looking at you, now aware you were face to face with him, only inches apart in his queen sized bed. he had just tried to twist your words in a confession of admiration, but couldn’t help but think he’d just sounded dumb instead. “no smart ass comment?”

normally you’d be offended at someone calling your comments smart ass, because they were in fact just the truth, but you knew shawn was messing, although, maybe not about the heartbeat part. you’d found yourself being drawn in, faces getting closer together with each breath, so much so you almost didn’t notice how his hand was stroking over the skin of your hip. he was searching your face for an invitation, he wanted to kiss you so bad, but at the same time, didn’t want to scare you off. the air was thick, and you were sure you could hear your heartbeat, but shawn was convinced it was his. his breath fanned against your lips, creating a cool minty sensation, and as your eyashes fluttered, your eyes looked straight into his. “kiss me.”

shawn taglist: @imaginashawnns @fallinallincurls @mendesficsxbombay @fallinfortom

PLATINUM WEEKEND PLAYLIST

in a spurt of energy i decided to finish the playlist i’d been working on for a while! this turned into a raleigh playlist, and i’m a little sorry about it but not really :/ this playlist is nsfw and all of the descriptions are under the cut! [there’s a line separating the spanish-language songs’ explanations]

1. anywhere

we can make love on the bedroom / floating on top of my waterbed / i'm kissing you / running my fingers through your hair / in the hallway / making our way beside the stairs / we can do it anywhere

most singers are influenced by their predecessors, so i have no doubt that raleigh listened to old r&b groups and practiced lead vocals, background vocals, & harmonies to them in the shower. this one stands out to me because i think it captures just the right amount of smooth sensual energy that raleigh exudes at all times. 112 is immaculate and no doubt one of raleigh’s favs.

2. nasty

promise I'ma give it to you like you never had it / i do it so good, it's gon' be hard to break the habit / you're like a whole constellation / swimming like you on vacation / promise i'm still gonna love you when you wake up in the a.m.

you can’t convince me that raleigh didn’t listen to ariana’s album when it dropped and went absolutely wide eyed when they heard these lyrics like “she really went there...” – but then it became a staple of every ~secret playlist to do the horizontal polka to~ 

3. sex money feelings die

all my lights off when i wake up / tears under my makeup / your lips will stay shut / wanna wake up, break up / i don't wanna think about, think about you / drink up, drink up / i'm so fucked up / all i want is you / no, i don't wanna think about, think about you / sex money feelings die / baby don't you cry

so this is the song i’ve latched onto for my mc dom. i have a headcanon (i think i’ve said it on main a lot, and i’ve even made edits for it) that after the breakup, which everyone else thinks is real, but they think is fake, but is actually real, dom drives to the studio super late at night and just belts out the lyrics while sobbing just to get them off of her shoulders. and it accidentally becomes a hit! which makes raleigh feel even more like shit 

4. facetime

back up all that shit you talking / facetimin' my baby tonight, oh / bet you wanna cop a feel / bet you wonder if it's real / facetimin' my baby tonight / and when you coming home / i'm gon' give you all of my love / i'm gon' put it on you / i said ooh you a hell of a drug

not to get too in detail but raleigh is an ~active~ individual, so i have no doubt that during long tours, they’re facetiming mc for some quality time. and this one’s just sensual and sweet like raleigh’s relationship is so!  

5. only 1

i know all the competition that's after you / so i get to thinking, is this too good to be true? / i can't, be your, only one / no i can't, be your only one / 'cause you look twice as good as anyone i ever met / and your love is three times better / how could anyone forget? / as I'm layin' down, with you every night / it still gets to me, that you remain by my side / i ain't saying that i'm not deservin' of you / but i was dreaming, bigger than i ever knew

raleigh’s convinced they don’t deserve someone as good as the mc and this for sure seems to be one of those songs that they heard when ari’s album dropped and they were like “jeez this is sappy” then they turn out to relate to it super hard like the clown they are

6. kissin’ on my tattoos

now i ain't ever been the jealous type of guy / but i want you to myself, i can't lie / i know we ain't on no one on one thing / but baby, it should change / 'cause when i be out with other chicks i be thinking 'bout you / and when you be out on dates you be texting me too / i don't want nobody but you / kissin' on my tattoos / i don't want nobody but me / talkin' to you / until you fall asleep / we better stop playing (we better stop playing) / before we mess around and someone gets hurt

now this... this is THE quintessential raleigh song for me. like when i think of raleigh this is THE first song that comes to mind. the entire song beginning to end is raleigh singing about mc. like i am convinced if this existed in their universe, they ghostwrote it for mc. genuinely the MOST raleigh song in existence and i cannot be convinced otherwise

7. life of an outlaw

not gonna put the lyrics but this would absolutely be on one of raleigh’s playlists that they play pre-concert to get hyped up, or a workout playlist. i just feel it in my bones that their fav music is from the 90′s ok

8. watch ‘n’ learn

i'ma do it, do it, do it / on the bed, on the floor, on the couch / only 'cause your lips say make it to my mouth / just because i can't kiss back / doesn't mean you can't kiss that / baby all i need / all doing on me / like you aimed to please / show me how much you mean it / by the way that you please me, baby

another song on their freaky deeky playlist ! i know raleigh’s prob tried to get with rihanna at least once in their lives

9. freaky girls

i'ma be your freak any time or place, any day of the week / said i'ma let you hit it, i ain't scared, i ain't shy, it's cool with me 

yet ANOTHER song on their freaky deeky playlist ! sorry im not taking this more seriously im just daydreaming ab the songs that raleigh would add to their secret playlists

10. thinkin’ bout you

thinking bout ya, dreaming bout ya / i don't wanna be without ya / pillow talking, heaven walking / been about ya, still about ya / you ain't gotta worry bout it, baby girl, you know i got you / drinking out the bottle to deal with all my problems like / i should call / i thought i had the right one the last time around

god this is post breakup raleigh through and through. i have a hc that raleigh ghostwrites a lot of songs for people especially ones that fuck with their brand – they collabed on this with micah and a popular rapper and micah was like :/ come on now raleigh i KNOW who this is about

11. un-thinkable

moment of honesty / someone's gotta take the lead tonight, who's it gonna be? / i'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me / if you have something to say, you should say it right now / you give me a feeling that i never felt before / and i deserve it, i think i deserve it / it's becoming something that's impossible to ignore / and i can't take it / i know you said to me / this is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be

raleigh’s confession!!!!!!!! lord this reminds me of when they were on the beach together just talking and vibing – or really any time that they took

12. kiss it better

been waiting on that sunshine / boy, I think I need that back / can't do it like that / no one else gonna get it like that / man, fuck your pride, just take it on back, boy / take it on back boy, take it back all night / what are you willing to do? / oh, tell me what you're willing to do? / kiss it, kiss it better, baby

i think raleigh would cover this omg and maybe im biased bc it’s my fav song of all time but it just exudes raleigh energy!! plus i think this might be on their freaky deeky playlist LMAO

13. unrequited love

lost in the flames of love / unrequited love / time won't always heal / and it eats at my mind / because you're the one that got away / sometimes i feel alone / tried to hold my breath / somewhere deep in space / and i felt like you understood / what it truly means to be in love / now i'm wide open, it's so hard to focus / now that it's the end, i guess you'll always be / the one that got away

you know raleigh was super in their feelings after the breakup – i don’t think they knew how fast they’d fall for the mc. even if they didn’t admit it out loud, i think they were convinced they wouldn’t find someone like the mc again. anyways this song is sad as hell

14. you’re mine

come a little closer / let me tell you something / eat your ego honey / honey swallow your pride / i spotted you the second you walked in the building / i knew that you had let me get you high / i wanna hear the things you say when no-one's listening / no one's gonna save you / use you up and break you / i'm the one who plagues you every night / 'cause you're mine.

so the song itself is ab a toxic relationship, but tbh i can picture my mc dom and raleigh singing this duet on stage together and the chemistry would be absolutely off the charts oh my god. 

––––

[disclaimer, i do not speak spanish, but i grew up listening to it and a lot of them have a lot of significance to me – i hope the rough translations i found online will do! some of them are very rough so i’ll just put the spanish lyrics]

so with all of these spanish songs im convinced that raleigh would cover any of these! most of them are really romantic and have the same vibe as what i imagine raleigh would have !! not gonna do a lot of explaining here because i think this explanation speaks for itself

15. viento

préstame tu peine / y péiname el alma / desenrédame / fuera de este mundo / dime que no / estoy sonándote / enséñame / de que estamos hechos.

lend me your comb / and comb my soul / untangle me / away from this world / tell me i'm not / dreaming of you / show me / what we’re made of

16. visita

que no es gusto, no es mi voluntad / que es lo que te digo / que aunque no me veas yo voi a estar / siempre contigo / la semana me parte en dos / de viernes a domingo / tu visita me repara cuando nos conecta entonces / quiero que te vengas a vivir, todos los dias conmigo

do not have a translation that makes a lot of grammatical sense for this one, but it’s generally about wanting to be closer to each other and move in together rather than visiting! it’s a really sweet song and the distance aspect reminds me of raleigh and mc

17. te quiero

te quiero / no, ya no me llores / no me vayas a hacer / llorar a mí / dame, dame tu mano / intentalo, mi niña / quiero verte reir / necesito verte / donde quiera que estes / te quiero, te quiero, te quiero / y no hago otra cosa / que pensar en ti / solo vivo y respiro / para ti 

i love you / no, don’t cry for me anymore / don’t make me cry / give me, give me your hand / try, my darling / i want to see you laughing / i need to see you / wherever you are / i love you, i love you, i love you / i don’t do anything else / than thinking about you / i only live and breath / for you

imagining raleigh singing this for mc......... swoooooon

18. maría

not offering a translation, but it’s a sad song that i think raleigh would potentially cover!

19. efímera

nos miramos a través del cuerpo y la piel / se conectaron nuestras almas / es que tus ojos de miel deslumbran mi ser / cuando la oscuridad me atrapa / cuando me besas / me siento en otra parte / me hierve la sangre / me derrite el corazón

we saw each other through our bodies and skin / our souls connected / its cause your honey colored eyes dazzle my being / when the darkness traps me / when you kiss me / i feel like i’m in another place / my blood boils / it melts my heart

“it’s like every song i’ve ever written was about you” this is one of em for sure

20. obsesion

son las cinco de la mañana y no he dormido nada / pensado en tu belleza en loco voy a parar / el insomnio es me castigo, tu amor será mi alivio / y hasta que no seas mía, no viviré en paz

it’s five in the morning and i haven’t slept at all / thinking bout your beauty, i’m gonna end up crazy / insomnia is my punishment, your love will be my relief / and until you’re mine, i will not live in peace

raleigh and mc would duet this!!!! the lyrics themselves aren’t really about their relationship but i think the vocals would be perfect for them

21. quiero ver

quiero ver tu risa todo el día / escuchar la melodía de tu voz / quisiera ser el brillo de tus ojos / el peine que desnuda tu esplendor / la esquina que te ve cuando caminas / y quiero ser tu último dolor / te pido que me cures esta herida / yo sé muy bien que no es tu obligación / tan sólo si amortiguas mi caída / será mi salvación

i want to see your smile all day / listen to the melody of your voice / i wish i could be the brightness of your eyes / the comb that undresses your splendor / the corner that sees you when you walk / i want to be your last pain / i ask you to heal this wound / i know very well it’s not your obligation / just only if you cushion my fall / it’ll be my salvation

this one makes me so soft oh my god and its another “it’s like every song i’ve ever written was about you” type of song

22. más que tu amigo

es un secreto / que tan solo quiero compartir / con esos ojos / que le han dado luz a mi vivir / y en esta noche no hay más luna / que como tú me alumbre más / que en mi alma crece una fortuna / por tanta dicha que me das / te quiero, te quiero / se oye en mi pecho / es el grande amor que me has hecho / latido a latido / te siento conmigo / yo quiero ser más que tu amigo

it is a secret / i just want to share / with those eyes / that give me light to live / and tonight there is no more moon / that shines on em as brightly as you do / in my soul grows a fortune / for such happiness that you bring me / i love you, i love you / you can hear in my chest / it’s the great love you’ve made me / heartbeat to heartbeat / i feel you with me / i want to be more than your friend

god i can just imagine them singing this to mc teasingly during their fake relationship and she’s like “sounds pretty i love your voice” but it’s really a confession AHHH

23. peligroso pop

no explanation on this one either! i just think this spanglish song would no doubt be on a playlist of raleigh’s !!! i’m also imagining raleigh dancing to this or going to this artists’ concert or something. idk it just reminds me of him !!!

24. eres

aquí estoy a tu lado / y espero aquí sentado hasta el final / no te has imaginado / lo que por tí esperado, pues eres / lo que yo amo en éste mundo, eso eres / cada minuto lo que pienso, eso eres / lo que más cuido en este mundo, eso eres

here i am by your side / and i’ll wait here, sitting, until the end / you haven’t imagined / what i’ve waited for you, because you are / what i love in this world, that’s what you are / every minute in what i think, that’s what you are / what i treasure most in this world, that’s what you are

this entire song is raleigh singing to mc, but like this little section is just SO sappy. that one line i keep mentioning? yeah that’s this song

25. locos

estoy contento de tenerte cerca / muy cerca de mí / que me digas loco / que me des besos / y que te rías de mí / y sé que nunca te lo he dicho / y me da miedo confesar / pero antes, quiero besarte / que llevo loco, tratando de decirte / que ya no puedo vivir sin ti

i’m happy because you’re close / very close to me / cause you call me crazy / cause you give me kisses / and laugh at me / and i know i’ve never told you this / and i’m afraid to confess / but first, i want to kiss you / i’m crazy, trying to tell you / that i can no longer live without you

god this reminds me of raleigh so much like ??? ok i dont know if this makes sense but imagine raleigh not being able to quite say the words they’re feeling so they just sing a song in spanish instead because they one, express their feelings through lyrics better and two, they know mc doesn’t understand spanish (this is specifically for non spanish speaking mcs)

26. no te puedo olvidar

sé que nunca me equivoqué / en lo que siento / y cuando me tocas la piel / me desvanezco / sé que miraremos a la última estrella / así nos conectaremos / yo te necesito más de lo que piensas / más de lo que puedo creer / vives en mí y en mi materia / no te quedo olvidar

i know i was never wrong / about what i feel / and when you touch my skin / i vanish / i know we’re gonna stare at the last star / that’s how we’ll connect / and i need you more than you can imagine / more than you can believe / you live in me and in my matter / i can’t forget you

this is one of the most romantic songs i swear to gooooddddd i think if raleigh and mc ever broke up this would be what they wrote afterwards – but also i think in general he’d write this about her without the breakup ! idk i’m just in love with this song. anyways

OKAY I’M DONE RAMBLING I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS PLAYLIST !!!! this is what i’ve been listening to while i’ve been reblogging posts today !!!

Holiday | M. Barzal Imagine

Dedicated to my girl @softbarzal 

Author’s notes: This is based off the song Holiday by Little Mix. This is the first fic I’ve written in a long time and the first that I’ve ever posted on here, so please be kind to me

Word Count: 2,373

Warnings: Explicit language and brief sexual content, as well as alcohol use

-

Boy, have I told ya? I swear you put the sun up in my sky. When it’s cold, you pull me closer. So hot, it’s like the middle of July (July)

Melinda sees Mat's silhouette appear at the airport in Rio and she could literally cry from how much she's missed seeing him in person. It has been two months since she last saw him and she had been dying to see him again.

"Babe!" he smiles, and that's all it takes for her to run full speed towards him.

He drops his suitcase and she jumps right into his arms, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. She feels the tears start to roll softly down her cheeks and she hates how emotional she gets after a long time without seeing him.

"Babe, don't cry," he murmurs into her neck, before peppering her face with kisses.

"I can't help it! I missed you!" she replies, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Well I'm here now, baby," he smiles.

She realizes they're in the middle of a crowded airport and jumps back down.

"Welcome to Brazil," she smiles, lacing her fingers with his, as she leads him towards the exit.

"I have a feeling I'm gonna really like it here," he smiles.

They exit the airport and are immediately hit with the humid, tropical air of Rio. They make their way to the car and Mat puts his suitcase in the back while she turns on the car and gets the A/C pumping. He climbs into the passenger seat and she hands him the aux. He plugs his phone into the aux and 20 Something by SZA starts blaring through the speakers, to no surprise.

They sing along to the song while they hold hands over the center console. After 15 minutes, they arrive at her house. She parks her car and he takes his suitcase out of the trunk. They walk up to the front entrance and she unlocks the front door.

"I'm home," she calls out in Portuguese.

They walk into the living room and see a soap opera playing on the TV. They hear footsteps coming down the hall and Melinda's mother appears.

"Hello, you must be Mathew. I'm Gisele," her mother smiles, bringing him into a hug.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," he smiles back.

"The pleasure's all mine. Melinda has told me so much about you," she smiles.

"I hope only good things," he replies hopefully.

"Yes, only good things. You and Melinda will be staying in the guest house in the back. I assumed you two would want your privacy. If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask. Consider this your new home for the time being," she explains.

"Thank you," he nods.

Wanna have a little taste, so let me lay you down (Lay you). Nothing better than your skin on mine (Skin on mine). And I been looking for the feeling, looking all my life. Boy you give it to me every time

Melinda leads him toward the guest house in the back, so he can put his suitcase down. They enter the guest house and go straight into the bedroom. He puts the suitcase down and sits down on the bed. She climbs into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and straddling his waist.

"Hi," she breathes out, her lips inches away from his.

Before he gets a chance to say anything, she's kissing him, with an intensity that he's never felt before from her. He kisses back, trying to match her intensity, while she lays him down.

She breaks the kiss to lift her shirt up and he gets with the program right away, lifting her shirt up over her shoulders and head. He tosses it to the ground, not caring where it lands. He takes a look at her blue lacy bra and smiles.

"You're wearing my favorite color on you," he muses, flipping her over gently.

Before being able to make a response, he starts trailing kisses down her neck and chest, while his hands make their way around her back to the clasp of her bra. Just as he's starting to unclasp her bra, the sound of knocking on the door, grabs their attention.

"Lunch is ready, you two," her mother calls out, causing Melinda to groan.

Mat reluctantly gets up and wills his dick to go down from being half-hard in his shorts. Melinda puts her shirt on and suppresses the thoughts of wanting to kill her mom.

"Do we really have to go eat lunch with your mom?" he groans, pissed off that he got cock-blocked by his girlfriend's mom.

"Unfortunately we do. If we're not in the kitchen in five minutes, she'll break the door down and drag us into the kitchen by our ears. That woman doesn't play when it comes to that," she explains, causing him to grimace for a second.

After making themselves look decent, they leave the house and head back into the main house.

Can we make it all night? We don’t stop all up on my body babe, ooh. Touch me like a summer night, you feel like a holiday, ooh-ooh. Up all night, we don’t stop feel up on my body, babe. We’re just dancing the night away. Boy, you feel like a holiday.

So, I’mma let go. No one else in the world could ever come close to you, baby (Uh-uh). Close to you, baby (Uh-uh). We’re taking it slow. Whenever, wherever, we’re lasting forever my baby (Uh-uh). And you’re turning me on (Uh, uh-uh)

Later on in the evening, they arrive at the beach and see the party is in full swing. They walk over to the beach tents and Melinda starts looking for her friend.

After a few minutes, she finds her.

"Melinda!" her friends squeals, bringing her into a hug.

"This is my boyfriend, Mathew. Mathew, this is my friend, Alessandra," she introduces them.

Mat extends his hand for her to shake, but she brings him into a hug instead.

"Melinda has told me so much about you!" she gushes.

"Alessandra, can you come here please?!?" a voice from afar shouts.

"I'll be right back," she sighs, running off towards the guy.

Mat and Melinda greet a few more people they know before grabbing some drinks and making their way towards the music and all the people dancing.

The song Check by Kojo Funds Ft. RAYE comes on and her hips start moving to the afrobeat song. One of his hands goes to her waist as she sways against him. The DJ keeps playing more island jams like Confidence by RAYE ft. Maleek Berry, Finders Keepers by Mabel Ft. Kojo Funds, and Come Closer by Wizkid ft. Drake.

After a while, their drinks are empty and they've grown sweaty from all the dancing.

"Let's go for a swim!" she suggests.

"Okay," he shrugs.

She leads him towards a secluded area of the beach, near a bunch of palm trees and bushes and she takes her cover-up dress off and tosses it on the sand.

"Last one in the water is a rotten egg!" she announces, before running into the water.

Mat chuckles before taking off his shirt and running towards the water. He eventually catches up to her and she's chest deep under the water, while he's only waist deep in the water, due to his height. She jumps onto him, wrapping her arms and legs around him.

"You know now would be a perfect time to finish what we started earlier," she suggests, the liquor making her bolder than usual.

"I am not getting arrested for having sex on the beach," he replies, even though his dick is very much onboard with the idea.

"It's dark, everyone is at the party, and no one comes to this part of the beach anyway," she assures him.

He remains skeptical, but she starts kissing him, trying to get him onboard with the idea.

It works because minutes later, her bikini and his swim trunks are in her hands as he thrusts inside her. Luckily, there aren't many waves in the water, allowing them to remain coordinated enough to fuck in the water. After a few minutes, they both come and take a minute or so to catch their breaths, before putting their clothes back on and making their way back to the shore. 

Luckily at the party, there are beach towels and they grab some, drying their bodies off. They stay for a while, before deciding to head back home. They take an Uber back home and end up fucking some more, going at it well into the night.

Boy, have I told ya? You give it to me like no other guy. We got that heat, yeah, like the summer (Summer). And that’s why I’m so glad I made you mine

The next morning, she wakes up to feather-light kisses across her abdomen. She opens her eyes and sees Mat in between her legs.

"What are you doing?" she asks, still a little groggy from waking up.

"Trying to see if I can eat," he replies cheekily.

"Well, the food is in the kitchen," she teases.

"Well, what I wanna eat is right here," he replies, kissing her hip bone.

After 20 minutes, they're both laying side by side, out of breath.

"Fuck, we need to shower," he sighs.

"Save water and shower together?" she suggests.

"Of course," he smiles.

They shower together and manage to not fuck again in the shower. They get dressed and head into the main house for breakfast. Gisele and Mat start talking in French, which makes Melinda happy that they're getting along so well.

Right as they're finishing breakfast, they hear the front door to the house open and the sound of a male voice entering the house speaking rapid Portuguese.

Mat shoots Melinda a look and she informs him that it's her dad. Her father makes his way to the kitchen and greets Melinda and Gisele before stopping at Mat.

"Dad, this is Mathew, my boyfriend," she introduces them.

"Pleasure to meet you. I'm Fernando. Melinda has told me about you," he smiles, shaking Mat's hand.

"How was your business trip, Dad?" Melinda asks, noticing how awkward the exchange between her dad and Mat was.

"It was good. I was able to see your brother while I was in Florida and he sent some gifts with me," he informs her.

His father hands them all their gifts and sits down to have some leftover breakfast.

"Do you kids have any plans today?" Gisele asks.

"We're renting a boat and going out on the water and we're doing some sight-seeing stuff too," she informs her mother.

"Sounds like fun," Gisele smiles back.

So, put your love on me, up on me. Oh, boy, I love it when you’re touching me, holding me. No way nobody put that thing on me, up on me, like you do. Feel like a holiday (Uh, uh-uh). You know that I want it babe (Uh, uh-uh)

After doing some sight-seeing and visiting nearby historical landmarks, they arrive at the dock and get on the boat. Luckily, Mat has his boating license, so they don't need to have a boating driver with them. They sail out to the ocean and pop open a bottle of champagne and take out food from their basket.

They talk about the upcoming season and the upcoming school year for Melinda at Columbia. They even talk about when they first met at the Brooklyn Mets game. She had been chosen for the half-court shot challenge and didn't make the shot. Mat thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and was determined to talk to her. He looked her up on Instagram and slid into her dms, not expecting a response. He never thought that one dm would lead them to where they are now over two years later. They started as friends and after a year of friendship, they got together.

After a while of reminiscing on great memories between them, they head back to the dock. They return the boat and Mat suggests they go for a walk on the beach, with Melinda not expecting anything from it.

They start walking down the beach and at one point Mat stops walking and takes something out of his pocket. She notices it's a white ring box and feels the air get sucked out of her lungs all at once.

"I know what you're thinking and it isn't what you think. This isn't an engagement ring, it's a promise. It's a promise that in the future, preferably after your graduate college, that I'm going to give you a real engagement ring and I'm going to marry you. I hope that's something you want because spending the rest of my life with you is all I want," he explains, while she remains speechless, covering her mouth with her hands.

Soft "oh my gods" fall out of her lips and tears start rolling softly down her cheeks as she's in shock over what's happening.

"So yes, is this what you want?" he asks nervously.

"Yes yes yes, a million times, yes!" she finally cries out.

He slides the ring on her finger and the tears of joy start flowing more freely.

"I'm so in love with you, baby," he smiles, kissing her.

"Me too, babe, me too," she replies, still not sure all of this is real, and not some type of fever dream.

That night, she posts a series of pictures of her and Mat on her Instagram with the caption "whenever, wherever, we're lasting forever my baby 🎶". Mat comments with "I love you forever and ever baby ❤". Mat's phone blows up with texts from teammates and friends asking if he proposed and Melinda's phone blows up with texts from the WAGs, friends, and family, asking if she's engaged now.

They decide to put their phones on Do Not Disturb for the night and spend the night in each other's arms, enjoying the rest of the time they have together before Mat heads back to New York for training camp.

Because i miss your design themed rants (it is good word here) i would like you to rank Rammstein album covers from designers point of view.

Ah, I love you. This got VERY ranty.

This is kinda hard because I tend to judge the entire packagaing/notes, and when I count that into it the ranking would be ever so slightly different. I’ll mention it for each I have Opinions (TM) on, but yeah, this is solely going on cover. I’ll only do the studio albums, not made in germany or the DVDs, or this will get too big.

7th: Rosenrot.

I know lots of you are gonna hate me for this. It’s not that I don’t like it, I do, it’s beautiful. Unfortunately it’s ... slightly lazy. It’s I think their most obvious cover and obvious feels like it’s good design but never truly is. It’s got that first idea feel, if that makes any sense. There is always that project where you go “uh can’t think of anything, but this works.” It’s not a bad thing, they clearly still knew what they were doing. It’s just ... that typical photoshop post apocalyptic composit that lost of metal/alternative bands did at some point. They all did it because it’s cool. No argument there. It’s just that I expect a bit ... more.

6th: Herzeleid

I know it’s iconic, but. The execution?! Terrible. The colours of their skin and that flower?! Too different to feel monochromatic, to same same to contrast nicely. Too much texture. What is that?! The positive bit is the placement of the typography because, neat! Most people fail at that. I like the blue-grey there aswell, how about you’d added that to their skin a little? No? Ok.

Also, this (Richard speaking):

“The bloody sleeve! What a crazy situation that was. We approved the photos in a car park without thinking what we were letting ourselves in for. When we saw what the designer had done, we freaked! We looked so… gay! All of us stripped to the waist. It was like an ad for a gay porno film. So we had to say, sort it out. Make us look straight again. Change the sleeve.”

Who in the fuck works like this?! Nevermind, I know it was a considerably younger Dirk Rudolph, but fucking hell, have some self respect, all of you. I know they didn’t know what they were doing, they probably had the management/record company comission it, and that was still the time graphic designers were seen as just pixel pushers from that time it took 3 days to layout a poster. Still. What was that brief?! Could you have sat down for 20 minutes and talk, perhaps?! Also, I hope this is how Richie learned to be the nightmare client I know he is. Don’t approve layouts in a car park, what the fuck is wrong with you.

It’s a pity because the concept? Nice. Sculpted men infront of flowers, what else do you want from life. Why crysanthemes, tho? Too textured in that macro shot. What is that photo angle?! Might try and redo that if I ever feel like it.

5th: Reise, Reise

This breaks my heart a little, because it’s my lonely island album. And it isn’t bad by any stretch. Actually, their album cover game is ridiculous, can I have that established as a general benchmark? It would make for a lot less mental break downs. The thing is ... I like the idea. Make it look like the black box, cool. The problem is the type. It makes it look like “Flugrekorder Nicht Öffnen” is the album title. To be fair, Typesetting is my main thing, and album artists get it wrong (imo) 99 out of 100 times. I wish they would have comitted more and just left the titel off and solved it with a slide in, or a sticker or something like that. It’s just a bit ... weird. What works brilliantly is that it’s very memorable, stands out on the shelf, is unusual, all of that. It’s iconic. I do like it very much but I had to place something here.

4th: Liebe ist für alle da

Now the thing with that album is that it has two covers. If I’d gone by the original one, I’d have to place it behind Reise, Reise. Everything RR has in impact, this is missing. It’s too dark, has too many pieces, it won’t stand out on a shelf. Especially not in the CD age when it was on 12x12 cm. Even on a Vinyl, it’s ... just not that impactful. Sure, the photograph is beautiful but meh. Luckily there is a second option. And that - is almost like a logo. It works as a symbol, and that makes it so strong. Less is more. Brilliant. You can draw it from memory. It’s so iconic, the kind of stuff that starts showing up in subways, drawn on the back of a seat and sprayed on walls. Tell me you never wanted to paint that on a flag and take it to a pride parade. I am sure some of us have.

I do want to mention the booklet in this, because it does bump it up a little too, because where the panorama image fails as a cover, the inside is done so beautifully with the fold out, the type setting, everything. It’s special, and done with love and it shows.

3rd: Mutter

There is just something about this that is so, so, so memorable. Everyone recognises this. If you ask anyone over the age of 20 to describe Rammstein with an album cover only to someone less familiar, is anyone gonna say anything but “they’re the band with the embryo in close up”?! Maybe this is subjective because that’s how I first got exposed to them, but I don’t think so. It’s such a powerful image. It’s both beautiful and uncomfortable, the way Rammstein as a whole and that album in particular is beautiful and uncomfortable. It’s stunning. That’s it. Unfortunately, this one falls apart inside. The went too far with the whole Matrix inspired cyber elements. It’s trendy and trendy never stands the test of time, in that it has the same problem Rosenrot has, but much worse because it’s not even done that well. They could have just used the photos and kept it raw. The type setting on the cover is as good as it gets with albums tho, so I am happy.

2nd: Sehnsucht

Ah, Sehnsucht. The most perfect band shoot they ever had. Helnwein just ... did it. I don���t know, it both defined and summed up who they are aesthetically for the longest time. It’s the visual statement that says “this is Rammstein”. It ... just looks like a band that sings about heartbreak and necrophilia is supposed to look like. Don’t you agree? How else would it look like? Even that omniously coloured beach. It’s as if the predicted the mood of True Detective, only less Hollywood. That darkness we don’t want to see, that can happen anywhere. And where they fell short with Mutter, where they added too much on to these powerful images, they just added the type. Granted, it was the 90s so it’s slightly experimental type. But unlike most type in the 90s it stood the test of time. Add the whole variable cover versions and chefs kiss! Beautiful work. Makes me happy and emotional and ugh.

1st: The White Album

I’m just calling it that now. The Matchstick. You know, good design is made up from three components only: Concept. Commitment. Execution. The concept of this is so streamlined and clean. It’s the entire Rammstein story narrowed down to a single little thing. It’s small and ordinary looking but it can become dangerous and big. It’s underestimated. A little piece of wood with a head of phosphor and calium chlorit and yet you can commit the most legendary arson. It’s the personification of the thing that has become synonymous with them: Fire. It says so much with so little. And then they comitted to that. No useless typography, a simple but oh so well done photoshoot, the simple text on white. They didn’t ad too much additional ideas on to it, they trusted that one to carry and it does. They could have done without the black and white match stick arrangements inside, although I’m not even sure if that’s not just a limited edition thing, it’s a bit too much almost. They got scared a little there. The execution is also well done, I have very little to critique, only that I feel it lacks a tiny bit of love. The thing is, the more minimalist you go, the more love you have to put into each element. I feel like the spacing of the type should have been fixed in a few places but honestly that is being very very picky. Or not. Because if it wasn’t for that, and the teeeeny tiny commitment issue, this should have been a candidate for the packaging grammy. I mean it should be even the way it is, but we all know how those fuckers ignore our boys.

I’m done. Can I use this as application? Do you think if I send them a run down of basically tearing them apart they will hire me?

👓 seesaw 🕶

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: EUPHORIA (Part 2)

↳ Pairing: Yeonjun/Soobin (?) x Reader

↳ word count: 1.4k words

↳ rating: R-18 

↳ genre: fluff, smut

↳ warning: sighs. ok. fingering, marking, possessive stuff, they’re very annoying and cheesy while stripping each other, tbh it’s just rlly fast bc i wanna write in love porn but ok, he went in raw but she’s on birth control does that count as unprotected? wrap it before u tap it thooooo, there’s mentions of getting tied up and hitting from the back but i didnt write that down lmaoooooooo. I tried to make this as vanilla as possible but Soobin daddy yk what I mean??? There’s not even a blowjob im sad. Anywayz,,,,,, this is the weet woot beep boop dont read if ur babie

They didn’t get very far.

In fact, they were both thankful Soobin’s family had a beach house or else they would have probably been sprawled out on the sea shore by now.

Y/N whimpered as her back bounced on the bed from where Soobin gently plopped her down.

The boy marvelled at the dark purple marks blooming on her neck as he approached, knees caging her body in between his.

“You’re so pretty, baby,” Soobin groaned as he climbed on top of her—hands settling on her blouse.

With one swift move, his hands curled around the collars and ripped it apart.

Y/N gaped as the buttons of her expensive blouse flew in various directions.

The boy above her paid no mind that he just ruined one of the first ever clothes he chose for her, and the fact that it was so expensive, and just pulled the shirt open.

He hummed as he leaned down to grope one of her breasts and lay a small kiss on her clavicle.

“Bin—This was my favorite shirt,” Y/N whined as Soobin’s hands snaked under her bra.

“I’ll get you a new one,”

“Yeah, but you got me this one,” Y/N pouted as Soobin smiled, kissing her forehead.

“Well, you got me now,” Soobin chuckled.

Y/N smiled, hands reaching up to grasp his face and pulling him down to meet her lips.

Soobin smiled against her lips, hands moving to pull her blouse and her bra off of her figure—swiftly followed by her skirt until she had nothing to cover her but the thin cloth of her panties.

“You’re still in your clothes, baby,” Y/N groaned, tugging on the buckle of his belt as he kneeled over her torso. “Let me take that off for you,”

Soobin chuckled happily as he tore his shirt off, letting the girl underneath him fumble with the loops of his belt.

As soon as she pulled away, his long leather belt in her hands, he quickly shifted out of his denim pants and settled himself over her—a big bulge in his boxers—as he latched himself on her breasts.

Under the comfort offered by the night and the presence of each other, both teens re-familiarized themselves with the feelings and emotions they both shared with one another.

He pulled off her the thin, damp cloth covering her core, taking a sharp intake of breath as his fingers softly landed on her bud.

“Soobin, please,” She groaned, eyes closing as she felt the first surges of pleasure making it’s way through her body. “Please, please.”

“What?” He asked nonchalantly, a shit-eating grin on his face as if his fingers didn’t press harder on her clit—figure-eights being drawn harder and harder.

“Let me—fingers—go in—“ She spoke in broken sentences, teeth biting down on her lower lip before her eyes flew open.

Her hands clutched on the white linen under her body, her hooded, pleasure-filled eyes locking up with the boy above her.

“Fingers, daddy,” She spoke. “I want your fingers.”

There was a soft hiss from Soobin before he smiled.

“Okay, princess,” He hummed before he plunged his fingers into her heat—two immediately pounding into her.

“Shi—“ Y/N squeaked, head flying back.

“Take it, baby. You can do it,” Soobin cooed, his fingers speeding up it’s motions as he added another finger into the mix. “If you can’t take this, you can’t take me. You can do it, right?”

“Y-Yes,” Y/N whimpered as Soobin’s head leaned down to place a soft kiss on her breast.

“That’s good. What a good girl. So good and tight for me,” he hummed, watching on with amusement as the girl’s body writhed beneath him. “Almost there, baby. Just let it go,”

Y/N moaned, white hot pleasure surging through her veins as Soobin pressed his thumb on her clit with a shit-eating grin on his face.

The girl could only whimper as she slowly climb down on her high—whimpering in sensitivity as Soobin continued to softly pump his fingers with his eyes trained on her core.

“Good?” He cooed as Y/N’s eyes opened again.

“So good,”

“I want to eat you out,” Soobin declared, lips pressing kisses on her neck.

“Please do,”

“Not yet,” Soobin chuckled, hands darting out to cup her face and laying a kiss on her lips. “Maybe later,”

Y/N giggled as replied with the same enthusiasm, continuing her laughter as he pulled away.

“You’re still on birth control, right?” Soobin asked, sweeping her hair out of her face.

“Yeah, Soobin,” Y/N hummed as the boy placed another kiss on her lips, slowly lining himself up with her entrance.

“Good,” Soobin nodded before immediately thrusting in, not giving her time to adjust as he adjusted her leg.

“F-Fuck,” Y/N gasped, eyes rolling back as the boy grunted. “E-Eager,”

“Sorry, I just missed you,” Soobin chuckled, groaning slightly as the girl moved her hips along with his speedy thrusts. “You’re still do fucking tight, all for me,”

“Hm, all yours,” Y/N hummed, soft moans falling out of her mouth. “Just yours,”

The boy groaned at her whimpers and grunts, watching as he slowly made her fall apart at every thrust.

It was in this moment, among many other nights, that Soobin found her the most beautiful—underneath him, singing her love for him as he sung his love out for her too.

This was it, this was his happy ending.

“Faster, faster, faster,” Y/N practically sobbed, whispering his name over and over like it was her lifeline.

“Yeah?” Soobin smiled, hands reaching up to grasp on her breasts.

“Fuck, yes.” She whimpered as Soobin slowed his thrusts, but pumped harder. “Soobin—“

“I love you, Y/N.”

Y/N looked over up at him, mouth open and eyes half-lidded as she stuttered through the pleasure-filled haze in her brain.

“I-I love you too, baby,” Y/N whimpered as she reached up to clutch his arms. “I’m so in love with you,”

Soobin smiled, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her lips.

Before she could move, he speeded up his thrusts once more—giving the hardest, fastest thrusts he could muster—as he pulled her legs over his neck.

“Soobin!”

The boy only chuckled huskily, fingers making her way down to her clit.

“You’re taking me so good, let go, princess.”

Feeling the tight coil inside her snap, Y/N sobbed out his name—vision turning into nothing but euphoric white.

As she tightened around him, Soobin grunted as he twitched inside of her—releasing ropes of white that painted her walls.

He rode out both of their highs, grunting in exhaustion as he softened in her core.

The girl climbed down from her pleasure-filled state, panting as she looked over at the boy.

“Hi,”

“Hey,”

She smiled as Soobin pulled out of her, laying a soft kiss on her cheek before laying his head on her chest.

“I missed that,” Soobin hummed before kissing her chest. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Y/N smiled, observing the way his body fit perfectly against hers.

His hair tickled her as he buried his head on her chest, placing soft and comforting kisses on her cleavage as he basked in the afterglow of their activities.

“I love you, Soobin,” She whispered, watching him look up at her—love and joy in his eyes.

“I love you too, so much,” He smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I’m so grateful that you came back to me,”

“I’ll always come back to you,”

“Why?”

Y/N smiled, laughing as the boy pouted at her in confusion.

“Well,” she hummed, sitting up and shifting herself until she’s sitting on his lap. “If you really, really love somebody, you’ll be willing to hurt yourself over and over again for her,”

Soobin smiled as the girl brushed her nose with his.

“And you did that for me, and so much more,” she giggled as the boy placed a peck on her lips. “And I realized that I’d do that for you, too, in a heartbeat. No hesitations.”

Soobin shook his head as he squeezed her waist.

“I don’t think I’ll ever love someone as much as I’ve loved you,” Soobin declared, burying his head in her neck. “I love you,”

Y/N smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, whispering confessions of love on his skin.

“So,” he started, hands roaming down to her thighs.

Y/N laughed as she felt him harden underneath her again—his hands softly kneading her ass.

“Yes, baby?”

“I wanna tie you up and take you from the back again,” Soobin said, setting her back down underneath him on the bed. “Can I?”

At Soobin’s confidence in uttering those words, Y/N laughed—nodding as she offered her arms.

“I’m all yours, daddy,”

Under the shine of the moonlight and soft whispers of his filthy praises, Y/N let herself get lost in him.

Kink ask--omorashi/piss kinks? (No specific characters or ships in mind, but if you have hcs about it, you'd have my full attention.)

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

okay, look, okay. LOOK. okay. im. very specific abt this one. because A LOT butts right up against me being like Yo that’s Unsanitary. But. I really like this one really specific part of it in like a REALLY INTENSE WAY

just.

like.

the aspect of humiliation in really needing to go and being told not to, squirming as they try and be good or hold themselves back because it feels good to be fucked full while already needy, wanting to concentrate on. being fucked but also so desperate that they can’t concentrate?

and then the relief of being able to go, to let go as asked, the satisfaction of release OR. the humiliation of not being able. to hold it. being debased for making a mess.

eeeeverything else I’m kinda eh/iffy on but. that. gets to me.

(i have headcanons but they’re going under a readmore kdjdj bc otherwise im just gonna have to DIE :) )

mainly i think sabo is into it. smacks itself right into his humiliation kink and he went Oh No and that was it, as soon as he realised it was a kink he couldnt stop thinking about the fact that he often feels really good if he consciously holds back the urge.

he used to get distracted and not pee but then like. after finding out it was an actual kink he pays More Attention to when he has to pee like ‘ i cannot be into this’

but no shocker he is

anyway, scenario of ace/mar finding out is probs smth like, sabo distracting himself on purpose because he does have to get this stuff done but it’s pretty lowkey?

and he doesnt realise koala Knows they have free time and has called his bfs for a surprise (we can say it’s near his birthday so she’s decided she can be nice. as a treat.)

so he’s a little needing-it, but not super there, just an edge at the back of his mind, when ace comes in and puts his hands over sabo’s eyes and is like guess who~

“there’s two guesses, by the way, yoi”

and sabo is like oh!

ofc he first has to tamp down the urge to slam his elbow into ace’s stomach, bc he thought she was koala at first, and he’s trying to say like,  Do Not Sneak Up on him, but thgen he’s like wait it’s my boyfriend being cute. we will allow it....

and he gets to turn around and ace still has his hands over sabo’s eyes and gives him a kiss and he’s like. trying not to smile because. he loves them. and it’s really nice to be surprised like this. Normally he has to go visit them instead, they don’t often get to see him.

a Moment of makeouts and soft grinding and physical affection and then Ace is like you should show us around the base!!

and sabo’s like I could show you my bedroom? (eyes emoji)

but Marco just grins at him and he’s like “nahhh, we have time for that later.”

Sabo wants to groan at his cheese but he’s also like okay Fine, dork. Because. he does just like spending time with them and he wasnt super riled up

but.

it does mean

he totally forgot that he needed to piss

it isn’t until an hour later that it suddenly comes back with a vengeance, and sabo’s like ah shit. I had like a fuckton of water. And they’re. hmmm. maybe half-way on a hike or smth? sabo is showing them the revo dock. bc normally the two of them fly in lmao (makes it easier to hide their connection, if Marco flies them both in)

and also the dock is pretty and leads into a beach and it’s disguised as a abandoned fishing town/tourist trap, so he thought they’d like it.

and they do, if the fact that Ace hasn’t stopped grinning, is anything to go by. he just. also. needs to pee. and ace’s smile needs to stop distracting him.

but ace keeps dragging him around and he doesn’t want to say anything, so he’s like nah! it’s gonna be totally fine! We can stop for some food or snacks and I’ll just have a moment to myself then.

but also he’s trying not to get a little turned on. aching to go, and also, thinking about how humiliating it’d be, for his boyfriends to see him hard when they’re just hanging out for kicks, or how nice but confused they’d be, if Sabo accidentally-

and he stops the thought RIGHT THERE because he absoLUTELY cannot live if he thinks about that, and indulges that fantasy, and then Marco places the back of his hand against sabo’s forehead and he’s like huh??

“You look really flushed, Sabo,” Marco says, frowning at him. And it’s an Actual Frown, not a teasing frown. “I think you’re getting sunburnt.”

Sabo spluttering a protest but then Ace drags him into the shade of some rocks and. well. it does actually feel a lot better in the shade, but now that he’s stopped he just. can’t distract himself. pressing his thighs together but trying to look natural, Marco and Ace just chatting and it is Totally Normal he absolutely isn’t desperate to pee, feeling it throb and-

oh shit, oh fuck, that was definitely a leek, Sabo can feel it, the sudden release of tension rocketing through him, feeling so good, and he gives a tiny, sharp little gasp and bites his lip and Marco / Ace are like "Sabo? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” and they’re just touching him, Ace trying to pick away at his coat to see if he’s injured, Marco feeling for a temperature and then at his neck for a pulse, and Sabo’s skin is singing at their touch, at their care, the lingering trace of their fingertips, and he grabs Marco’s laps and grits his teeth and he’s like

“Look, I just really need to pee.”    

“Then....just go?” Ace suggests, looking at him with a confused frown, and oh god Sabo’s now just imagining if Ace actually meant it the way Sabo’s brain suddenly leapt to, for Sabo to just go, piss staining his crotch and trickling down his leg to pool on the sand, and Sabo can just imagine how good it would feel if he-

“Oh,” says Marco, cupping his cheek. Sabo will not look at them, but he can absolutely feel how red-hot his cheeks get under Marco’s touch, under the weight of that tone.

“You don’t wanna go, do you, Sabo?” he says carefully, and Ace makes an even more confused sounding huh? next to them. “You just like- feeling like you have to. Is that right?”

“Shut upppp,” Sabo hisses, and Ace is like, computing next to him, and Sabo is so so so embarrassed and so fucking turned on that he’s hard as shit and they haven’t even touched him

wow! great! at least he can’t pee with his dick hard as fuck! but also!

he needs to spontaneously combust in embarrassment

“Oh it’s a kink!” goes Ace, and his eyes dart so fucking obviously to Sabo’s dick and Sabo kinda wants to cover himself but that’s an even more obvious move than Ace seeing his stupid erection and Why is this his Life

Except. Ace is kissing his cheek. And pressing himself against Sabo and sneaking his hand into Sabo’s pants, and Marco is backing him up against the wall. and he’s got a knee between Sabo’s legs for Sabo to grind on.

“Wha-?” he says, knowing now he’s the one who sounds like a confused idiot, and Marco just cocks his head and looks at him

“It is a kink, right? You like this?”

“I- I mean- I don’t-” and both of them are paused & staring at him and his cheeks are aflame as he manages a jagged nod, and then Marco gives him a quick kiss and when he pulls back Ace is just like

“Well if you like it then we can try it out.” and he shrugs like it’s fucking simple, like Sabo hasn’t been super embarrassed this entire time and it settles in him (they love you) and then Marco’s hand reaches out and he fucking presses on Sabo’s bladder and Sabo gasps, needy and pained, yanking Marco’s shirt as he tries to close his legs further, tries to stop that ache, feeling himself shudder. And ace just grins and is like, “I mean, it is pretty hot seeing you squirm like this.”

👌 👌 👌 

and then they make out with him, hot and heavy, and when they finally jerk him off, his pants still around his hips and dick out, Marco then just presses on his bladder again and tells him not to pee but it’s too fucking late and Sabo sobs in relief at being able to piss.

So fucking humiliated at Ace & Marco watching him, loose and boneless from his orgasm, but also. they’re watching, watching him make a mess, watching him piss on the sand because he couldn’t hold it back any longer, and he can feel himself getting turned on again as the relief mixes with that preening sense of humiliation and exhibitionism.  ️

anyway 4 basic headcanons i kinda think Marco doesn’t really get it/isnt interested in trying it but he likes seeing Sabo desperate. He’s already very good at knowing what will humiliate sabo, this is just another tool in his arsenal, one that used by itself is more than enough to get sabo worked up and crying. he likes. seeing sabo cry.

ace has tried it a couple of times and sorta sees where Sabo’s coming from? but he likes being told he’s a good boy for holding it, for drinking when he’s told, he likes the control aspects more than the humiliation aspects, and sabo likes wetting himself and being mocked but ace is always ): when he “fails”.

AND THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS AND NOW I NEED TO GO DIE, BYE :)

BnHA Fic Recs (Part 1)

all of these are on ao3. please make sure you read the warnings and check the ratings before you read them. this list was made march 2020 so some of the word counts and dates might not be accurate for long

i broke this up into two parts because it’s kinda long, the second part can be found here

the light is fading (but i'm still here) by IceEckos12

Midoriya centric

Status: One shot/completed

Words: 8.4k

Izuku wakes up under the effects of a strange, dangerous quirk.

With no way to contact his allies or interact with the world around him, he is quickly plunged into a race against the clock to save his own life.

Sink to Swim by cinnabee

Bakugou centric, Midoriya centric, Bakudeku

Status: Completed

Words: 35k

“Kacchan, I think we’re supposed to--”

“Supposed to?” Katsuki whirled. “Supposed to? Will you fucking.. Listen to yourself? Shitty Deku, we just woke up in a dungeon and you want to play some villain’s game? Like it’s a goddamn puzzle we can just solve?”

~

As if there's any other choice.

mouth shut (eyes down) by carolinaa

Midoriya centric, Dadzawa

Status: One shot/completed

Words: 5.8k

Teachers and Izuku don't mesh well. If Izuku speaks up, he gets in trouble. If Izuku gets picked on, he gets in trouble. If Izuku lets his guard down for one second, he gets in trouble.

Izuku isn't stupid. He knows UA isn't going to be any different.

Useless Monster by MuteCrows (Deanassbutts)

Midoriya centric, Monster Midoriya, Quirk Midoriya, Dad Might, Dadzawa

Status: Updated 2020-03-02

Words: 79k+

Izuku had vague memories of how his family used to be. He could remember when he had a home, a warm bed, and steady diet. These memories were muddled, overshadowed by the burden of no longer having a place in society’s unseeing eyes. For where was a monster like himself supposed to fit into a judgmental space like that?

Child's Play by Le0na

Inspired by Useless Monster, Midoriya centric, Monster Midoriya

Status: Completed

Words: 8.9k

Animal control officers are trained to deal with all sorts of creatures, quirk or no quirk. These are the accounts of an officer who encountered something the weren't briefed for.

Izuku wanted to survive. He wanted to help people. That's all he ever wanted. Can't they just let him?

Canary by cloud_nine_and_three_quarters

Midoriya centric, Quirk Midoriya, Midoriya & Shinsou, Midoriya & Present Mic

Status: Completed

Words: 291k

Midoriya Izuku is Quirkless. Well, he thought was. That was until he opened his mouth to sing.

There is more power in Midoriya's singing than he could have ever dreamed of - a power truly worthy of a hero. But will he ever have the confidence to spread his wings and soar?

Follow Canary on his journey to find his voice and become the hero he was always meant to be.

To Bargain With Faust by cricketmilk

Fantasy AU, Midoriya centric, Tododeku, Monster Midoriya

Status: Completed

Words: 42k

Impulsive decisions are what brings them together. A prince, determined to enter forbidden lands to pursue a voice that accompanies the moon. A beast, too eager to fight for everything he wishes to protect. Actions have consequences, and the price of magic might just make everything worse. The Liar Princess and The Blind Prince AU.

Pied Piper by Blackhole_Called_Anime

Midoriya centric, Vigilante Midoriya

Status: Updated 2020-03-05

Words: 113k

If they wouldn’t give him a chance then the solution seemed simple, he’d give himself one. He’d force the world to see him, force them to recognize his hard work. He wasn’t missing a quirk, it was simply that everyone else had been given an advantage. He wasn’t broken, or useless, or incapable, and he’d prove it by outrunning all of them, he who was quirkless, he who had started in last.

release the dogs of war by IceEckos12

Alternate dimensions, Midoriya centric, Tododeku, Dad Might, Dadzawa

Status: First part completed, second part in progress

Words: 44k (first part)

Izuku is a dimension hopper who accidentally breaks his arm after a rough jump, leaving him helpless in this strange new world.

And then he finds out about the superpowers. Well if he wants to get specific, quirks.

If there's one place where a super-powered quasi-immortal technology stealing jerk would be hanging out…

A Dangerous Game by tsukithewolf

Midoriya & Bakugou, Villain Midoriya

Status: Part 1 completed, part 2 updated 2020-03-02

Words: 472k (part 1), 95k+ (part 2)

When Midoriya Izuku is 13 years old, he is kidnapped on his way home from school by a villain. One year later he is found and returned home with some scars, no memories of the events he went through, and a latent fire quirk.

Izuku has to live a double life if he and his loved ones are to survive, even if that means lying to everyone and committing deeds that he’s not sure the heroes would forgive him for. He just needs to come up with a plan to defeat one of the most powerful men in the world, maintain both of his covers in the presence of enemies and allies alike, and hopefully not forget the “real” him.

Bakugou Katsuki is certain that Izuku has been lying to everyone since the day he had been rescued. And he’s going to figure out his secret.

The Last Resort by coldandhotsoba

Shinsou centric, Dadzawa, Erasermic

Status: Updated 2019-11-09

Words: 163k+

“Mommy? Where are we going?” Shinsou asks as he was strapped into his car seat. He looked up quizzically at his mom as she gave him a backpack stuffed with clothes and his favorite plush cat.

“We are just going to a trip to see some of mommy’s friends okay?” She replied, giving him a small sad smile

Or

Shinsou gets sold off to villains when hes a kid. They rent him his quirk out to other villains for a profit.

The Wards of UA by FeckedSpectrum

Shinsou centric, Dadzawa, Erasermic

Status: Updated 2020-03-01

Words: 312k+

27’s throat tightens, as if any words he could have thought to say are trapped there. If it weren’t for Memory’s nails digging into his wrist, he would probably have stood there all night, trying to understand what they wanted him to do.

Use his quirk on a child. A tiny, frightened child.

He kneels down, trying to get her to look him in the eye, to make some kind of connection. Anything to try and make her answer. “D-do you want to go away? Do you want to go somewhere safe?”

Her eyes open, slowly, and the sobbing slows enough that she isn’t shaking with it quite as much. Her hands are lowering from her mouth.

“Uh-huh.”

Her voice, so small and hoarse, is all he needs. He feels the quirk trap around her mind, and her eyes fade from red to white, hands dropping slack by her side.

***

This work is based off of The Last Resort, written by coldandhotsoba. In this AU, after Shinsou Hitoshi is sold to The Miasma, The Miasma sells him to Overhaul to fill the role of "The Mediator" for Eri. Even after the raid on the 8 Precepts, the wards are haunted by their pasts, but the ghosts in Shinsou's mind are anything but dead.

and i'm nothing like you by aloneintherain

Shinsou centric, Shinosu & Midoriya

Status: One shot/completed

Words: 9.3k

Of all the people to have been kidnapped alongside, it had to be this person, this hero, the one person who would never blame him for the things he was forced to do.

“Don’t cry,” Midoriya says.

“Fuck you,” Hitoshi chokes out.

(When Shinsou goes grocery shopping a few weeks after transferring to Class 2A, Midoriya tags along. Because he is, for some reason, determined to be Shinsou’s friend.

Shinsou remains cold and withdrawn in the face of Midoriya’s friendliness—until they’re kidnapped by a woman with a brainwashing quirk who believes Shinsou doesn’t belong in the hero course.)

Butterfly by aconstantstateofbladerunner

Midoriya centric, Dad Might, Horror

Status: Updated 2020-03-27

Words: 167k+

The first over-night trip off campus since the training camp was supposed to be a fun break from more intense work back home. But between a bleak introduction to chaos theory, a chilly reception from the locals, and the looming threat of a villain attack, Izuku has too much on his mind to properly enjoy the fresh air. But those worries are a light breeze compared to the hurricane that accompanies what he finds on the outskirts of town.

Or rather, what finds him.

a complete list of everything I've ever been afraid of by aloneintherain

Midoriya centric, Dadzawa, Horror

Status: Updated 2019-07-05

Words: 18.5k+

Midoriya is drugged by a villain during a raid, but old and new fears, along with the manufactured anxiety the drug produces, urges him to keep his condition hidden.

He's determined to keep this a secret in the long days ahead - even after the hallucinations start. Even after his worst nightmares are played out around campus, so vividly that he begins to lose track of what is and isn’t real.

when march brings rain by Crocodillia

Todoroki centric, Tododeku, AU, Bodyswap, Kiribaku

Status: Updated 2019-11-24

Words: 54.5k+

“I’m a person who wakes up in a new body every day - always my age, never too far away from the last, and I'm never the same person twice.”

“No - it’s not possible -”

“Remember when Katsuki kissed you on the beach? That was me.”

In which a boy falls in love with someone who switches bodies every day. (Every Day AU).

(may the bridges i have burned) light my way back home by Chrome

Midoriya centric, Bakudeku, Canon compliant

Status: Updated 2019-10-04

Words: 42.1k+

Since Bakugou Katsuki discovered the secret of One for All, he and Midoriya Izuku have been slowly repairing the friendship they once had. They still haven’t talked about it—but Izuku’s certain that it’s only a matter of time before they manage to lay the past to rest.

But when the League of Villains attack the Sports Festival and Bakugou takes a devastating blow meant for Izuku, the whole nation is suddenly paying attention to a relationship the two people involved barely understand. Izuku needs more than ever to figure out who he and Kacchan are to each other—preferably before the internet does.

or,

“Fuck you,” Bakugou said. “I don’t need a whole face to kick your ass.”

in death, at the end of the world by theroyalsavage

Midoriya centric, Tododeku, Ghost hunters AU

Status: Completed

Words: 22.4k

Over the course of what was supposed to be a routine job, Paranormal Investigator Midoriya Izuku uncovers a long-forgotten curse, meets a shadow with the voice and eyes of a boy, and discovers a plot that has the potential to destroy the entire world.

Not necessarily in that order.

The Mystery of Student No.18 by cloud_nine_and_three_quarters

Midoriya centric, Ghost Midoriya

Status: Completed

Words: 85.2k

Getting crushed by falling building whilst shielding a little girl wasn't the worst way to die. Only, Midoriya's not quite dead yet.

He still has so much to prove - to do - to finish! All Might gave him his power, but now look at him... how is Midoriya meant to be the next symbol of peace if he's stuck in a coma?!

Meanwhile, his future classmates are left to wonder...

Who is student 18?

And where is he now?

Beast Among Men by cricketmilk

Todoroki centric, Tododeku, Fantasy AU, Dragon Todoroki

Status: Updated 2019-09-04

Words: 63.4k+

Unsure of specifics, he can’t quite puzzle together what he is; the only information that crowds his brain is that he is not what he’s supposed to be, and his strongest impulsive desire is not his own. And most importantly, the dark haired human he’s found is the key to answering most of his problems.

Or

Todoroki joins the Deku Squad – with a twist. Medieval Fantasy AU.

A deadman's gun by NohaIjiachi

Midoriya centric, Vigilante Midoriya, Quirkless Midoriya, Stain & Midoriya

Status: Completed

Words: 65.1k

“I—“ Izuku hesitated, gaping wordlessly, before admitting softly. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to go home. There’s nothing for me, there.”

“So you filled this hole by playing detective— And how long is that going to last, I wonder?” Stain replied, still massaging his chin. “But you— You have potential.”

Izuku blinked at Stain’s chest, before looking up. “Excuse me?”

“What a waste would it be, to let you become a red splatter on the sidewalk.” Stain continued, almost contemplating. “No. No, kid, what you need is a new purpose. Your old one is gone? Well, time to get off your ass and find something else—“

A Study in Firsts by Oceanbreeze7

Class 1-A, Canon compliant, Dadzawa

Status: Updated 2020-03-13

Words: 68.5k+

There’s a first time for everything.

The first time everyone crammed in Momo’s room to study, a mess of limbs and books on her bed.

The first time Mina burned crepes so badly the smoke alarm went off.

The first time a jumpscare got Sero so badly, he flipped off the back of the couch.

The first time Uraraka fell asleep at the table and accidentally sent it floating.

The first time someone realized Todoroki walked far too quietly, and far too cautiously around the dorms to be normal.

The first time Midoriya broke his toe on a door frame and kept walking through it.

The first time Kirishima woke up screaming through the walls.

The first time Tsuyu blanched at the sight of a needle.

The first time Bakugo dropped, clutching the back of his neck with eyes scarily vacant and detonating everything around him until Aizawa had to intervene.

It wasn’t always pretty, but the dorms were filled with firsts.

once forgotten, twice removed by blueh

Dimension travel, Midoriya centric, Villain Midoirya (kinda)

Status: Completed

Words: 42.2k

“Yes,” All for One agreed. “This will be the final resting place of All Might.”

“You,” Midoriya Izuku said and paused, thinking over the words. He sounded taken aback. “You want me to help fight All Might.”

“Of course,” All for One nodded along. “I can offer you double of whatever my counterpart is paying you currently, along with anything your little heart could desire. Of course, you would get to help out drastically—"

“Did you happen to check what world you were pulling me out of when you did this?” Midoriya Izuku interrupted and it was said in such an incredulous tone that had the situation not been as critical as it was, All Might would have laughed.

Also known as: number one hero Deku has been through a lot of things, but being thrust into an alternate reality where he’s All for One’s Successor is a first. He has to navigate this world when his alternate self is a villain dead-set on killing him and all of this version of class 1-A. All the while, his friends search desperately for a way to get him back.

And I Burn by IiIia

Kaminari centric, Traitor Kaminari, Shinkami, Soulmates AU

Status: Completed

Words: 29.8k

He turns the sink handle until hot water spews from the faucet. The heat burns and stings, but he keeps rubbing his hands together trying to wash the blood off. He can’t. Never will.

His hands are stained red. His thigh stings under sharp fingernails, and there’s a small cut just above his jaw.

And he’s eleven the first time he wished he didn’t have a soulmate.

Lying Eyes by kixotical

Kaminari centric, Traitor kaminari

Status: Updated 2020-03-01

Words: 59.1k+

If you asked anyone in class 1-A what they thought of Denki Kaminari, it would most likely be around the same answers: very flirty and outgoing, not being afraid to show his excitement for something. Maybe he's not the brightest bulb in the box and has a bit of a mischievous side to him, but he's still able to make everyone laugh when he shows his brainless side after going over his wattage limit. No matter what, he's one of the closest members of class 1-A.

No one would have guessed that it was all a lie.

No one would have thought that it was all a con, a front to lower everyone's expectations so that he could carry out what he needed to do.

No one would have thought that Denki Kaminari, the loveable idiot from class 1-A, had been working to betray them all.

AU where Kaminari is the U.A. traitor as well as a psychopath.

A Dysfunctional Family but a Family Nonetheless by teaandtumblr

Aizawa centric, Dadzawa

Status: Completed

Words: 47.1k

Aizawa doesn't care about his students. He really, really doesn't.

Except for the part where he very much does.

Engraved in your Mind by Hejter

Bakugou centric, Kiribaku, Face blind Bakugou

Status: Updated 2020-03-20

Words: 234k+

Bakugou Katsuki lost his ability to recognize faces, so he didn’t know any of the people who stared at him, but he knew what dread looks like when he sees it, and as he looked around the crowd, every single person had exactly that written all over their face.

He looked down at the guy who was still on the ground, part of his uniform’s shirt burnt, his wounded face covered by his hands and his hair smoking slightly.

Katsuki glanced at his hands and finally realized something.

or

Kacchan is still a stubborn prick while suffering from face blindness. Also, quirk discrimination is a thing.

alternatively-

New quirk, who dis

Death Need Not Apply by Salt00

Midoriya centric, Quirk Midoriya, Horror, Crack

Status: Updated 2019-09-06

Words: 50.7k+

No one noticed when Midoriya Izuku manifested his quirk. However, it didn't take long for people to take notice of the effects. It was very hard to ignore, after all. The denizens of Mustafa adapted fast to this change in the laws of reality-- that's the way of quirk society, after all. Still, no one thought the plain-looking boy might be connected.

Izuku's quirk emits a massive no-kill zone around him.